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#I’m going back to bed (it’s 10am)
yesloulou · 8 months
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They’re launching in Vegas at the Super Bowl….We could have had it all (Dosh)
what if i choose not to perceive this and become a self insert josh allen girlie
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pwurrz · 10 months
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was the chapter perfect? no because it didn’t have any yakumo
i enjoyed it regardless
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unhingedlesbear · 1 year
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Oh nooo guys the sun is coming up!! Sleep schedule shattered again😍😍I love being naturally nocturnal it’s so werewolfcore of me 😻😻😻
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fingertipsmp3 · 10 months
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Is anyone else sleeping an abnormal amount at night but still getting tired in the day
#my circadian rhythm right now is so unhinged i swear#like i cannot get up before 10am no matter what i do. last night i was even like ‘i’ll go to bed early; then i’ll get my 8 hours and be able#to get up relatively early.’ so i went to bed at 10:30. read for probably 15-20 minutes. was asleep by probably 11:30 at the latest#why did i wake up at 8:35 feeling absolutely dreadful; stumble to the bathroom; piss; go straight back to bed#and fall asleep for two more hours#i was in bed for TWELVE FUCKING HOURS like some kind of victorian woman with tuberculosis. i’m a healthy 27 year old in the year 2023#what the fuck is this about. it was like solidly 11am before i convinced myself to get out of bed#finally managed it; ate brunch & did my wfm tasks. now it’s… what? twenty past four? and i’m fucking drowsy again#when i tell you i’ve done fuck all today. my work is mindless and when i was done with my set tasks i just read a book#maybe i should start going to bed late again. like midnight or 1am. it doesn’t seem to make any difference#like if i’m going to be in bed until 10am regardless of what time of night i got into bed; i’m not getting into bed before 12am#spending ten hours in bed is already ridiculous#i’m just trying to figure out like… am i sinking into a depressive episode? is this a concerning level of fatigue? is it just the winter?#am i deficient in vitamins and or minerals? is my bed just too comfortable?#bro my bed is sooooo comfortable. i have my favourite sheets on it right now (dark purple 100% cotton) and three blankets#my room is also fucking cold because we need to fix the roof and no one is available to do it until like january and i live in a cold wet#place. i really just wake up and i’m like ‘why’. just like overall what is the point#i cannot stress to you either how horrible it is to wake up and it’s 8am and still dark. and like i’m a freelancer. i can work at any time#why would i get up at the arsecrack of dawn if i don’t have to? be serious#i think we’ve solved the mystery. anyway. if you need me i’m going to take some vitamins#personal
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spacelazarwolf · 1 year
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i fucking hate
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this is literally just labeling someone’s natural circadian rhythms as disordered.
“may fall asleep later than intended and feel sleepy during the day”
WHAT IF
hear me out
WHAT IF
WE JUST LET PPL LIKE ME W NATURALLY “DELAYED” CIRCADIAN RHYTHMS SLEEP WHEN THEY NATURALLY WANT TO AND STOP FORCING THEM TO CONFORM TO A BULLSHIT CAPITALISM-FUELED NIGHTMARE SCHEDULE!
like!!!!!!!!! WHY is this a DISORDER!!!
i remember during lockdown when i had nothing to do and i just started naturally letting my sleep return to what felt most natural, and that happened to be around 3am-10am ish. and i felt fucking fantastic!!!! i felt the best i’d ever felt!!!!!!
and now i’m back to bullshit trying to knock myself out using nyquil or weed or benadryl so i can wake up at 8am and get to work at 9am which is apparently “late” and i feel like shit all day and can never find the motivation to work on my books!!! during the pandemic i wrote an entire fucking book!!! usually between the hours of 11pm and 3am!!!! and now when i start to feel that itch to write i have to ignore it bc i have to go to bed at a time that feels so unnatural!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!
i hate everything!!!!!!!!
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i-will-not-be-caged · 1 month
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I feel like we need to talk more about how fucking boring depression can be. I pick up a book and can’t read more than a few sentences, a chapter if I’m lucky, before I can’t focus. I knit two rows of something and then can’t continue. I scroll through all the different options of shows I haven’t watched without clicking on any of them. I hop from app to app looking for content that will spark literally any single emotion. It’s not even 10am and I already feel like I’m just waiting until it’s time to go back to bed.
I hate it I hate it I hate it
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writtenbymoonflower · 3 months
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hi name twin!!!!
could u write an end-of-exam-season celebration type thingy with polym?? take that wherever you want! exams have just finished & i've deleted all my alarms before 10am... love your work! thank you thank you! 💝💝💝🧁🧁🧁
congrats, hunny! I hope that your break is going well and you are getting lots of rest!
520 words
You shut your laptop with audible finality, releasing a loud breath and rubbing your eyes aggressively. Your miniature spectacle was enough to get Sirius to turn around in his barstool and give a questioning look to where you sat at the dining table, though he didn’t have to ask, because James looked up excitedly from the cutting board.
“Was that the last one, angel?" He set down his knife and walked over to you before even waiting for your response. 
“Yes. Thank god.” You groaned as you shoved the offending computer away and laid face down onto the table. You heard Sirius snicker as James started rubbing your aching back. 
“That was your last assignment?” Sirius asked to clarify. You didn’t verbally respond, only nodding your head. “That’s great, baby! Do you feel better?” 
You brought your head back up as Remus came into the room. “I do, I’m just really tired.” You laughed. 
“Well you’ll be getting plenty of rest.” Remus said, half order, half reassurance as he started on the chopping James had abandoned. 
“You need it, babe.” Sirius was a mix of genuine and teasing. “You’ve been really worn out recently.” When you raised a questioning brow at him he grinned and raised his hands up defensively. “Don't get me wrong, the wearied look is pretty hot on you, but it’s not very maintainable.”
“I think I’m going to sleep until two tomorrow.” You leaned against James’ hip and closed your eyes, letting out a satisfied hum when he started to pet your head. 
“Two isn’t even that late.” Sirius said, smiling with playful defensiveness. “I do that all the time.” 
Remus rolled his eyes, ignoring his boyfriend's comment. “Considering how little sleep you’ve been getting as of late, it really isn’t.” 
“I don’t have training tomorrow, maybe we could all have a lie in?” James suggested. 
“Fuck yes! Everyone is always out of bed by the time I wake up.” Sirius pouted, giving his (very practiced) puppy dog eyes to the room. “I’ve been lacking a cuddle buddy.” 
“Hey!” James said, offendedly. “We cuddled yesterday for like, hours.” Sirius waved him off. 
“Details, details. My point still stands.” He looked over at Remus. “What do you say, moons?” 
“I could go for a lie in.” He said, placing a clinking lid onto the pot to let his dinner simmer before walking over to you and placing a kiss on your cheek. “Proud of you, dovey. You’ve been working really hard.” 
“Thank you.” You said bashfully. You weren’t the most comfortable being praised for your accomplishments. (Even though that happens nearly daily when you’re around the boys). “How long until dinner, Remmy?” 
“It shouldn’t be much longer.” He said, going to rummage through the pantry. You looked at him questioningly until he pulled out a small bundle of paper wrappers. James gasped in surprise. 
“Are you–?” He said in shock. 
“Yes, Jamie.” Remus said flatly, crouching down to your level. “Have some chocolate, lovely.” You looked at it in feigned bewilderment. Everyone liked to pretend that Remus was to his chocolate like a dragon to its gold, ferociously possessive, even though he doled it out like smiley-face stickers when any of you held slight discomfort or microscopic achievements.
"Don't go giving away your treasure, I haven't gotten my grade back yet." You joked, but took a few squares anyway.
"This is just based on completion," He said, faux stern. "Imagine what you'll get from your predicted success."
You would shudder to think of it.
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mhahaikyuus · 6 months
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You're back
wc:; 1.6k
tags:; angst to fluff, izuku x reader, aftermath of a fight, domestic izuku x reader, established relationship, pro-hero Izuku, very fluffy end
a/n: hope you guys enjoy. reblogs appreciated.
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You’re breaking his heart with one sentence and sad eyes. 
“I don’t want to talk to you.” 
“Can you just look at me.” Izuku said desperate trying to catch your eyes. 
You avoided his eyes looking down with teary eyes and wobbly lips. 
“I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.” He said watching as you turned into yourself trying to be as small as possible. 
“I never-never-God I didn’t mean it I was mad.” His stomach turning and eyes watering at his mistake. Taking a stressful day out on you. 
You nodded your head just wanting to leave. Unable to, your green haired boyfriend earlier picking you up and driving you to his house. 
“I understand…I’m going home.” You whispered. 
“Okay I’ll drive you.” Izuku said. Going to grab his keys. Driving you home he could get you food and have you in a close space. 
Begging you for a kiss and forgiveness and you would roll your eyes before kissing him back. He could fix things, he could make you remember how much he loved you.  
“ Im walking.” You said weakly watching the sunset from his window reaching for your bag on the floor.  
Izuku felt his heart drop. 
You wouldn’t even be in the same car as him? 
“I’m sorry, i’m sorry. I-I…I get that you’re upset but it’s getting dark please let me take you home.” 
You shook your head, meaning what you said. 
Walking out the door he deflated. Izuku knew following you home would anger you more. 
You walked home as he checked your location breathing a sigh of relief at you making it home. 
He cried like a baby wondering how he had screwed up so badly. What if you never wanted to speak to him again? He wouldn’t blame you but it would destroy him. 
The look on your face as he begged you to talk to him crushed his spirit.
You needed time. You loved Izuku more than anything but you needed space from him. Time to heal from what he had said to you. 
While Izuku was breaking apart with each passing second. You were trying to piece yourself back together. 
It had been about a week of your break. Izuku wasn’t sleeping or eating and not going to the gym. Barely making through the numerous patrols and meetings. 
You left Sunday night and didn’t come back to the apartment til Friday night. He had taken all overnight shifts, not being able to stay in the apartment without you there. The smell of you on the comforter made him nauseous. Only thinking if you never came back that would be the last thing left for him. 
Entering your shared apartment you pulled off your shoes, and let down your hair. Noticing the apartment looked exactly the same. 
The bowl you ate a snack in before the fight still in the sink, the couch still covered in a laundry session. The apartment was completely dark and untouched. 
Sleeping in an empty bed you fell asleep fast happy to be out of a hotel room. Not hearing your exhausted boyfriend come in at 5am from a long shift. Finally coming back to the apartment after so long away. Izuku couldn’t spend another night on his office couch. He needed to smell your pillow and cry. He took off his shoes and paused at the differences in the apartment from when he had left it. 
Your keys in the bowl by the door, the lamp in the living room on, your bag and jacket placed in the living room and the A/C running. 
You came back. 
You were home. 
He rushed down the hallway to see your figure buried under blankets on your side softly sleeping. 
Izuku broke down in tears. Unzipping his hero suit to be only in his boxers. 
He climbed into bed tugging you into him. Tears wetting his face and the top of your head. You let out a small groan still deep in REM cycle but cuddled into your boyfriend and his strong chest. 
“You came back to me.” He whispered almost crushing you in his grasp not wanting to let go. 
You woke up a couple hours later around 10am to your ribs unable to expand to their fullest making it hard to take a full breath. Squinting your sensitive eyes you recognized wild green tuffs of hair buried in your neck and his buff heavy body laying on top of you. 
Bringing a hand up you begin to rub his scalp. 
He groaned before tightening his hold on you. 
“You’re back.” He whispered 
Nodding your head you tried to move from his hold. 
“Im hungry,” You grumbled trying to loosen his grip and slip from underneath him. 
“Okay.” He said pulling his head from your neck. Sitting up on his knees and picking you up from your arms. 
“Oh- my.” You gasped at him lifting you easily and carrying you to the kitchen. His big body able to hold you at the waist and stride into the kitchen. 
“I can walk.” You said holding onto his neck trying to rub the sleep out of your eyes
“I know you can. I don’t want to be away from you.” Izuku said in his gravely deep morning voice sitting on the kitchen chair. Sitting on his lap facing him in the chair. You leaned forward your forehead on his shoulder. 
“Can I get up or are you going to hold me down.” You asked after a couple beats of silence as he rubbed your back. 
He nodded but the second you got up you had a shadow following you. Izuku following you like a lost puppy. 
Standing at the stove you felt him leaning into your back. 
“What do you want for breakfast?” You asked looking up at him. 
“Im not hungry.” He said with hand holding the back of your shirt with his thick fingers. Like a child gripping the back of your shirt. As though he was afraid you were going to disappear.
But he was lying. 
Your boyfriend could eat 3x the average man with his regime and routine as a pro hero. What you didn't know that in your absence your man had lost his appetite for food and hadn't been eating.
You hummed at his answer still pulling out food from the fridge. 
“Do you need help?” He asked shyly as though he was afraid to upset you as you started.
“No Im okay.” You said stirring in the pan 
He hovered by you the entire time you cooked. When you finished cooking the obscene amount of food for both of you, you began to plate the breakfast. 
Izuku let go of your shirt to grab your favorite mug and fill up your drink. 
You sat down and nudged his plate to him even if he said he wasn’t hungry. 
He hesitated at the pile of food you had just made for him. 
Not that he wasn’t hungry. He was starving.
Not that he didn’t want to eat your cooking. Trying to figure out how to apologize for what he had done. 
He missed you so badly his chest physically ached with every breath. Now you were back in his arms with the same warm smile you only had for him and back in your shared apartment. Trying to fix what he had broken because you loved him that much. 
“You made me breakfast.” He said in a small voice 
“Yea.” You said taking a sip of your steaming drink
“You made me breakfast…thank you” He said placing his head in your neck. You gently rubbed his nape as he held onto you hand coming back for your shirt.  
“I’m sorry for hurting you. I missed you…so much” Izuku mumbled gripping your shirt pulling you closer to him dragging your chair closer to his. 
“I know, I know. I needed time. But I still love you okay? Im not going anywhere.” You reassured him knowing he was hurt. 
He nodded into your chest. 
“Come here.” He said pulling you into him now sitting on his lap again. You both sat there in silence staring into each other’s faces. Rubbing your thumb against his cheek just how he liked. 
Initiating the kiss he had been desperate for all week. 
Slipping a bit of tongue into your lover’s mouth, he sighed in relief. You still loved him, still kissed him like you always did.
“Eat, its going cold.” You said and he nodded as you wiped his face for him. 
You sat in his lap drinking your warm drink as he ate the mountain of food you had prepared for him. Taking what you didn’t finish from your own plate. 
Sitting in his lap enjoying your drink when you felt your shoulder become wet. 
Your boyfriend was sniffling with wobbly lips and running eyes. 
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying baby?” You said gently wiping his face as he cried.
“I’m sorry. I hurt you and you still came back and now i’m eating your breakfast. I don’t deserve you. I didn’t think you would come back.” 
“You made a mistake, and I know you are sorry. Stop apologizing. I just needed time okay? I still love you so much.” You said gently running your hands through his thick curly green hair. 
He nodded and you stretched his cheeks to make him laugh. 
“There’s that cute smile.” 
“I missed you.” He said with wet freckled cheeks sniffling 
You leaned up and gently bit his cute freckled cheek. 
“Did you miss my bites?” You asked soothing his pink skin with a light peck. 
He nodded, “I love your bite marks.” 
“Good because you’re going to be covered in them by tomorrow.” Kissing his face as he happily took whatever affection you offered him. His large arms wrapped around your body never wanting to leave you. 
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goldenempyrean · 2 months
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Hi there! If you are still taking them id love to request a fic where the avengers are bantering/teasing Natasha because she supposedly never gets sick but a little while later R finds her crying and thinks its because the guys have upset her but its really because she feels so terrible.Maybe including Baby, I think this is more than just the sniffles and Oh my god you’re completely burning up. Sorry if this is too specific I just think it would be so cute
You're My World
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〚 Notes - Wow, its been a while. I haven’t written Nat in so long, finally getting this request done <3 〛
〚 Pairing - Natasha Romanoff x Reader 〛
〚 Summary - Nobody really believes it when Natasha gets ill but there’s always going to be one person thats always there for her. 〛
〚 Wordcount - 2100 〛
〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙
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“Afternoon sunshine, and just what time do you call this?” The voice of Tony called out with a small chuckle, raising his eyebrows from behind a mug of coffee.
“Lay off her Stark.” You bit back, shooting him a glare and came over to where your girlfriend had shuffled into the room. She was leaning against the doorframe, her pale complexion a sharp contrast to her messy red curls.
You put down your own coffee and came to her side, hand reaching up to cup her cheeks, “Morning baby,” You murmured, kissing her forehead gently before taking her hand and leading her over to sit by the kitchen island, “You still not feeling good?”
The two of you had been cuddled in bed together last night when she’d complained of being extra tired and after some gentle encouraging, she’d eventually admitted that she’d had a growing sinus headache for most of the day.
When you’d woken up that morning, Natasha had still been asleep, still curled up in your arms. Usually, she was up before the sun had even risen, getting in a workout or simply just enjoying her morning. After some careful consideration you decided it would be best to let her sleep in, so you’d carefully detached yourself from her arms and pulled the blanket back over her before silently tiptoeing out from the room.
Natasha shook her head, “I think I’m getting a cold.” She mumbled glumly, letting her head fall onto your shoulder as you sat down beside her. She stayed like that for a moment before falling into a painful sounding coughing fit.
“Baby, I think this is more than just the sniffles,” You sighed sympathetically in response, “You wanna head back to bed? I can bring you some water and something to eat?”
“Heading back to bed? At this time in the afternoon?” Tony interrupted with a playful scoff as she jumped up to sit on the countertop. He looked at you then Natasha before whistling through his teeth, “You, Miss Romanoff, look like shit.”
“Shut up Stark.” It was too early to be dealing with his shenanigans. Natasha just rolled her eyes, judging it best to simply ignore him, “And just for the record, it’s barely 10am. No idea what world you live in where that’s considered afternoon.”
"That's probably the world where Tony's been up since 4am tinkering with his latest suit," Steve chimed in, entering the kitchen with a knowing smile. He grabbed an apple from the bowl on the counter and took a bite, eyes twinkling with amusement.
Natasha gave a weak chuckle which was quickly followed by a short cough into her elbow, rubbing a hand down the front of her throat. She swallowed and tried her best not to wince at the painful sensation which followed.
Of course you noticed. “I’ll grab you that water.” You rubbed her back gently for a moment before heading to the fridge.
“I didn’t even know you could get sick yknow.” Clint piped up, seemingly deciding to join in on the conversation. He’d previously been too engaged with trying to solve the children’s word search on the back of his brightly coloured cereal box.
She looked over towards him, “What do you mean?” Her eyes narrowed a little.
“I dunno.” He shrugged, “I just mean, I’ve never even seen you close to sick. Like when you had the gnarly shoulder cut that got infected, you didn’t even run a fever or anything like most people do.”
Tony pulled a face of disgust, “Barton, I really do not need to be hearing about gross shoulder gashes when I’m trying to enjoy my coffee, thank you very much.” Clint pulled a similar face to mock him before throwing a tea towel in his general direction, leading the two of them to start bickering at each other.
You’d just been handing your girlfriend the bottle of water when Bruce strolled in - adjusting his glasses and taking in the scene. "How come everyone's so chipper this morning," He asked dryly. "What's going on?"
"Romanoff’s caught the plague," Tony took a break from messing with Clint to speak in his most serious voice, earned several eyerolls from around the room, "But don't worry, Doctor Banner, I'm sure ‘Miss I Never Take Sick Days’ will pull through."
Natasha groaned, “God you’re such an asshole.” She sniffled, rubbing at her nose for a moment. Whatever itch she’d been trying to get rid of clearly hadn’t been listening because a second later she drew in a sharp breath and sneezed twice in quick succession.
It wasn’t exactly a dainty sound, like her usual sneezes rather harsher yet still somewhat feminine. Obviously, it was still adorable, but you couldn’t help but think now wasn’t the best thing to vocalise that.
Instead, you settled for a loving, “Bless you.” as you offered her a tissue from the box nearby. She mumbled a quiet thank you, dabbing at her nose. The teasing continued as you rubbed her back, trying to comfort her.
"Maybe she just needs more vitamins," Clint suggested with a smirk. "Or maybe a new suit of armour, Tony?"
"Please, like I'd let anyone else touch my suits," Tony replied, his voice dripping with mock horror. Natasha sneezed again, a little louder this time and he pointed over in her direction, “Plus there’s no way I’m letting someone that drippy inside one of my suits. I’m not in the mood to expose my lab to a walking biohazard.”
“You’re exhausting.” Natasha sniffled from behind a tissue. Her nose was starting to take on an irritated red twinge. She coughed again before clearing her throat roughly, “s’cuse me.”
You felt your gaze soften a little, “You’re okay sweetheart.” You spoke reassuringly, before offering an outstretched hand as you slid from your stool, “How ‘bout we head back up to bed, get you away from all the men-pheromones. They surely can’t be making you feel any better.”
It didn’t take much convincing for her to agree.
She accepted your hand gratefully as helped her to her feet, wrapping an arm around her waist to support her as you both walked back to your room.
Once back in your room, you gently guided her to sit on the edge of the bed. "How about I run you a nice relaxing bath?" You suggested, brushing a stray curl from her forehead. The subtle heat rising from her skin didn’t go unnoticed though, “Poor girl, you're completely burning up here, aren’t you?”
You made a mental note to take her temperature and get some medicine into her later. You knew she’d likely fight you about it, but that bridge could be crossed when it came to it.
In the current moment Natasha nodded, “A bath sounds nice.” Her voice was a little worse than earlier, a little more congested and scratchier.
“Okay, give me a few minutes and I'll get it ready," You said softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead before heading into the bathroom.
It didn’t take long to draw the bath. You methodically checked it to make sure it wasn’t too hot nor cold, even going as far to add a generous squirt of your berry-scented bubble bath. You weren’t entirely sure she’d be able to smell it but the clouds of fluffy bubbles covering the surface of the water certainly did the job. The steam began to rise, filling the room with a comforting warmth. You smiled to yourself and drew a little heart on the condensation-soaked mirror before heading back out to get Nat.
Natasha wasn’t where you’d left her. Instead, she was led down on the bed, curled up with her back facing the door. You knew she wasn’t asleep by her breathing, so you gently came to sit by her side, “Natty?” You murmured quietly, reaching out to stroke her back when you noticed the damp sniffles coming from her. She was crying.
“Oh baby, what’s up my love?” You were pulling her into your arms in an instant. She clung onto you; her body wracked with feverish chills. You knew fevers made her weepy, but this was different. Your poor baby was distraught.
The redhead sobbed for a little longer, before sniffling thickly, “I don’t know.” She managed to stammer out, wiping her eyes but fresh tears quickly came to replace them.
“Was it the boys earlier?” You scowled, “I know they didn’t mean harm but-“
She shook her head, looking more vulnerable than you’d ever seen her, "No, it's not that. I’m just- I just feel so exhausted... my whole-body hurts and I feel so ill." Her voice cracked as she tried to speak, blinking as your hand gently moved up to wipe away the tears streaming down her fave.
You wrapped her in a gentle hug, rubbing her back soothingly. "I know, sweetheart, I know. It's sucks to feel sick; I understand especially how hard it is when you’re not used to it either. You’re my world Natasha, so just let me look after you, alright?”
She nodded after a moment and you gave her a few minutes to let it all out, holding her until she was ready. Eventually the tears stopped, and she looked up you again, “I’m okay. I’m sorry I just lost myself for moment.” She leaned away from you as she cough harshly, her poor voice sounding even worse then earlier.
You rubbed her back until she managed to stop coughing and catch her breath, “You’ve got nothing to apologise for. You and fevers don’t go well as if we both know but if we’re being honest, I think you needed that, to just get all of that out. Sometimes its better to cry it all out.”
“It still sucks though.”
“I won't argue with that,” You couldn’t hold back a chuckle. She did have a point. “How about we get you in that bath now?”
The offer wasn’t refused and soon the two of you were cooped up in the bathroom. You found yourself kneeling down by the side of the tub as you gently washed her hair, running your hand through her damp red curls.
“How does that feel baby? The steam should help open up your sinuses a little.”
Natasha closed her eyes, a small sigh escaping her lips. "It feels good, really good." Her voice was softer now, a bit more relaxed as she leaned into your touch. You continued to gently massage her scalp, feeling the tension slowly melt away under your fingers.
You reached for the cup nearby, carefully rinsing the shampoo from her hair, ensuring none of it got into her eyes. "You're doing great," You murmured, placing a soft kiss on her temple.
She sniffled again, but this time it wasn't accompanied by tears. "Thanks for taking care of me," She whispered, her eyes meeting yours with a grateful look.
“Of course.�� You smiled lovingly. The two of you continued the talk quietly as you continued to wash her hair. Nat had insisted she was okay to sit by herself but the way her eyes kept drooping closed didn’t have you convinced. Eventually the water began to turn cold, and it was time for her to get out.
There was a fluffy towel ready and waiting to be wrapped around her. You’d already laid out a fresh pair of matching pyjamas for you both to change into.
You helped her into the pyjamas, making sure she was warm and comfortable. As she settled onto the bed, you pulled the covers up around her, tucking her in gently. Natasha's eyes fluttered shut for a moment, but she opened them again, looking at you when she felt something being gently nestled into her hold.
Her small brown bear. Something only, you knew about. It brought her comfort when there was nobody else around, it was something you’d given to her before you’d gone on a long undercover mission. If anyone else knew how much it meant to her, she’d probably have to kill them. This was something only she could know.
"Do you need anything else my darling?" You asked quietly, brushing a strand of hair away from her face as you climbed beneath the covers beside her.
Rolling over to face you, Natasha buried her face in your chest, “Just you, only you.” She muttered before hiding a yawn against your shirt. You knew she’d be asleep soon and you began drawing random shapes down her back as she settled into your hold, her eyes fluttering closed as she fell into a gentle sleep.
It was true Natasha Romanoff didn’t get sick often but when she did? Well, maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.
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moonahyeon · 7 months
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I just shifted this morning 😭 FOR THE FIRST TIME !! I’m so excited that I finally did it but why am I kinda disappointed it was so normal.. I feel like I’m not as happy as I thought I’d be, shifting for the first time. I had all these expectations, yknow? plus rn I’m not doing the best physically bc of how nauseous I feel from traveling irl (like in my CR) to another continent so that might be affecting my mood.
how? 🌸
I finally took a break from trying to shift to my kpop dr so I could organize a new script for it in notion. So I decided I would try to shift to my waiting room for the mean time. I saw @pinkerinos story on how they shifted after I woke up at like 10am in the morning and it motivated me sm I wanted to follow what they did. thank you to them 🙏🙏 I was really tired when I woke up and wanted to go back to sleep but felt musty so I washed up and tidied my room. Until I went back to bed, I said affirmations (some in my head, most out loud). I didn’t use a method but I was saying things like “shifting to my waiting room is “easy-peasy lemon squeeze-y”. yeah it’s kinda cringe 😭 but I was trying to make it catchy so I would remember it.
I didn’t have to do a 500 hour meditation, or even specify if it was an awake or asleep method. Looking back I think I shifted out of pure delusional confidence. I didn’t shift to my waiting room or any dr I had scripted for. I think my intentions got mixed up because I shifted to a reality where I had my kpop dr face/body. But I wasn’t an idol. I lived in a coastal town in sk and spoke and thought in korean when I’m not fluent in this reality. I hadn’t realized I shifted until I was in the elevator of my apartment complex heading downstairs to work (I lived on the second floor but their were shops/plaza on the first floor). When I realized I shifted to some random reality I didn’t care it wasn’t my DR and stayed for the sake of having shifted. My initial reaction was to hit myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming but in general I felt normal? — is that common for anyone else❔
I think the fact I’m somewhere where it’s summer/the beach affected the place I shifted to.
has this happened to anyone? I shifted back to a dream bc in my OR I was still sleeping. After spending 5-7ish hours in that reality I shifted back willingly bc it was jus a regular life, labor, and I had to deal with annoying ass customers. 😭😭 when I came back I woke up in a dream?? I don’t lucid dream so my memory is distorted from that point on. I woke up irl soon after and started to doubt myself .. was it all a dream?? But there were too many reasons it wasn’t “just a dream”.
reasons why it wasn’t a dream:
I have a dream journal and every dream I’ve had has been sporadic and irregular with time. In the reality I shifted to time was “linear” and I remembered the past, experienced the present, and worried about the future.
When I have a dream I’m never “present”/aware I only remember what I experience after I wake up. But in that reality I felt everything happen in the present like it would in my OR.
Also I had such complex memories/thoughts I couldn’t even think of as a 14yr old in my OR.
srry if this storytime was too long and or boring 😭 I’m not a blogger or someone who posts. I’m more of an observer but I wanted to share my story!
Also tysm to the shiftblr and loa girlies I couldn’t have shifted without them!! 💗💗 they gave me such a different perspective on shifting compared to shifttok.
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housecow · 6 months
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so. covid happened and i never saw some people from high school again. i have this dream of being unrecognizable..
like. we run into each other at the local grocery store, which is normal. i’m using one of those scooters and spilling off either side, fat wobbling as we wind through each aisle. i struggle reaching to fill the cart with my food so my feeder does it for me, even though he does like to see me move a swollen, jiggling arm out to grab another box of brownie mix (“we haven’t tried this one in a shake!”). we hit a drive thru before so i have a 32oz milkshake in the other hand, of course
my friend tries not to look at the fatass rolling by. the cart makes a noticeable noise and it takes up an awful lot of room—but i say “oh my gosh, is that you?” and then we make eye contact
they’re a little horrified, and it’s amazing. eyes widened noticeably, a sharp intake of breath, maybe even something like an “oh!” or “jesus!” but they school their expression quickly and we exchange pleasantries, asking about each other’s life. i pretend not to notice the double take at my size
i tell them i graduated with my bachelors and then met him, my feeder (though i don’t announce exactly that, it’s very obvious). i was in a phd program and doing well, but, lol, he knocked me up. we don’t mention it, but i was getting pretty fat by this point and having his kids was the perfect excuse to put everything else away. i promised myself i’d go back but life happens! my friend totally gets it, or that’s what they say at least.
the first were twins and when i mention that, my feeder’s hand, laid on my shoulder, tenses and squeezes the soft fat there. he promised to do that again last night, though this time his goal is to get me bed bound.
i take a sip from the shake before we continue talking and my old friend is probably wondering how far gone someone has to be to have a milkshake at 10am. but they’re still pleasant and by the time we move on they’re shell shocked. at the enabling, at the changes in less than 10 years, and for just how far gone he’s made me
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star-girl69 · 8 months
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Let The Light In
Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader
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synopsis: sick clarisse is a heartless monster
this ask
a/n: i do like fluff too! i promise!
Let The Light In - Lana Del Rey
side note: i liked this song before you tik tok bitches liked this song. first day the album came out i said “oh so let the light in is literally my song” y’all can back off mkay…..
warnings: MOTHER Y/N FR!!!!!!!!, ares kids are big babies, don’t tell anyone they’ll kill you, no plot, clarisse is sick and needy and cuddly and basically a baby, bitch gets austin mcbroom post-catherine sick it’s embarrassing, i still love her, tell me if i missed anything!!
—-
—-
As soon as you walk into the Ares cabin, you can smell it. It’s not like anyone’s thrown up- you hope, at least- but the entire Ares cabin reeks of snot and wet coughs. You didn’t even know that had a distinct smell. The entire cabin just reeks of a bad, bad, summer cold.
It started off slow. And to their credit, the Ares kids did stay strong for a while. While the rest of the camp was falling into a apocalyptic-esque nightmare, no one in the cabin got sick. Until someone must have.
You remember snorting when Clarisse announced to all of her siblings that whoever got sick would be sleeping outside.
Obviously, that person tried to hide it, and the entire Ares cabin woke up sniffling yesterday. Clarisse vowed to find the rat, but her and the rest of the cabin ended up going to bed early after being asleep on their feet all day.
As the head counselor’s girlfriend, you felt a motherly responsibility to take care of the dying soldiers.
Which is what they were acting like.
“Good morning,” you say softly, quickly shutting the door. The cabin is a mess, even after one night. There’s tissues on the floor, blankets strewn about, everyone’s moaning and groaning. The curtains are all drawn firmly shut, so it’s seems more like 10pm when it’s actually only 10am.
All of the siblings have gathered on the first floor, sometimes two to a bed, couches filled up with sleeping kids.
Everyone mumbles back very pointed “mornings” while you sigh and open up your bag filled with wash cloths.
“Okay,” you say. You already got the sickness a few days ago, and while you’re still sniffling, you’re much better. “I’m here to help!” you announce. Then, you frown. “Where’s Clarisse?”
Matty, on the floor, leaning against the couch, points to a blanketed figure in the corner.
“Asleep,” he yawns. “Which I’m about to be.”
You smile but ultimately walk past her, letting her have a few more moments of what seems to be a fitful sleep- she’s frowning in her sleep, which is absolutely adorable.
You head towards the bathroom, cringing at the overfilling basket of tissues, before you set out your bag on the closed toilet and take out a few wash cloths. You wet them with cold water and hang them over your arms, walking around and putting one on each person’s warm head.
A few actually compare you to a goddess in that moment, and you just hide your giggles and say you’re welcome.
When you finally reach Danny, curled up in a ball on the end of the couch, he looks up at you with big puppy dog eyes.
You’ve quickly realized that all of the Ares kids turn into literal toddlers when they’re sick. But Danny, actually only eleven, seems like a literal baby in this moment. He’s a skinny kid, so when you pick him up he feels like nothing.
“I miss my mom,” he groans into your neck.
“I know,” you say, patting his back.
You complete your rounds of washcloths against hot heads, finally turning around with Danny in your arms. You go back into the bathroom and focus on him for a second, the youngest member of the cabin, touching his forehead.
“You’re not too hot,” you say, encouragingly. You run the tap, wetting the plain white cloth. “But we’ll stick this on anyways.”
“Thanks, Y/N,” he says, head back in your neck. “You’re the best,” he yawns.
When you turn around, Clarisse is crossing her arms in the doorway.
She’s trying her best to look angry, but she’s just pouting.
“Hi, baby,” you smile.
She glares at Danny’s back before reaching forward to grab him from your arms.
“She’s my girlfriend, you little snake,” she huffs, clawing at him.
“Hey!” you shout, pulling back as Danny desperately wraps his legs around your waist, gripping onto your neck for dear life. “He’s eleven, Clarisse.”
“And?” she scoffs. “I’m really sick, Y/N.”
You roll your eyes, wetting another washcloth.
“Here you go, you big baby,” you slap it over her forehead and she pouts again, raising her hand to hold it there. “Puppy dog,” you giggle, urging her back to the couch.
“I am not a puppy dog. I’m a pitbull, if anything.”
She sits back in her corner, pushing the blanket aside and opening her arms wide.
“C’mere,” she says, eyes closed, expectant look on her face. “Ditch the snake.”
“Nope,” you smile, flopping down onto the couch, making Danny laugh at the way the two of you bounce.
Danny and Clarisse both settle into your sides, glaring at each other. Danny’s head pressed against your chest, Clarisse’s in her neck. She wraps her arm around your waist and he wraps his around your stomach.
“Gods, Ares kids are so possessive,” you mutter.
“Exactly,” Clarisse replies. She tries to push him away. “Scram,” she says, but it ends in a yawn.
“If Y/N tells me to go then I will,” Danny replies. “I’m only eleven, Clarisse. I need a mom when I’m sick.”
You watch him try to look serious, but he eventually breaks out into a smile.
“Snake,” Clarisse whispers. “Gonna kill you when we’re not sick.”
“No you’re not,” you say, leaning your head against hers. “I’ll walk out right now and take Danny with me.”
She holds you tighter.
“You can’t abandon me in my time of need,” she huffs, and you resist the urge to laugh at the genuine fear in her voice. “I just need you really bad, I was thinking about you all night, angel.”
“Then be on your best behavior,” you smile.
“Yes, ma’am,” she mutters, burrowing her face into your neck. She tugs you closer to her. “You’re so soft. I love you.”
“Okay, Clarisse,” you smile, kissing her head.
She shakes her head and pouts. “No.”
“Puppy dog,” you say again, but she chooses to ignore you, placated by the feeling of your lips quickly pressing against hers.
“Pretty girlfriend,” she mumbles, eyes falling shut. “Pretty, pretty, really soft girlfriend.”
Matty scoots over to put his head in your lap.
Now permanently caged in, you give up any hopes of escaping when they all fell back asleep, resigning yourself to a day of boredom, being used as a literal pillow for the sick “toddlers” of the Ares cabin.
“Thanks for bringing the light in, Y/N,” Matty mumbles against the top of your thigh. “You, I mean. You’re the light. Was that clear?”
“Matty, go to sleep.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he mumbles.
“But thank you,” you smile.
You look around the dark, dreary, dirty room.
“Big babies,” you mumble to yourself.
—-
shoutout to danny from music to watch girls too making a second appearance ily
matty is prob my fav original side character for the ares cabin i love him sm so shoutout to him too!!!
and ofc shoutout to clarisse “she’s my girlfriend” la rue
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taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish
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thegettingbyp2 · 7 months
Note
hiiii i have an austin butler request can you do one where he gets jealous because his girlfriend is an actor and she had to do a sex scene with someone else? it can be smut or angst :)
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Austin had been slightly off with you all morning. You’d woken up, wrapped in his arms, as usual but the moment you had come back into the room with a coffee for you both, he seemed to have withdrawn from you slightly and it was taking you forever to figure out what it was. It wasn’t until you picked up your script, planning to go over the pages that you were shooting that day that you realised what was wrong.
‘Baby?’ you said quietly, leaning your head on his shoulder when he came to sit next to you on the sofa, his third cup of coffee that morning in his hand. ‘Are you okay with me filming this scene later?’
Austin looked over at you with a small frown on his forehead as he took a sip of his coffee. ‘Of course, I am, why wouldn’t I be?’
‘Because you’ve been acting weird all morning and you’re on your third coffee of the day and it’s only 10am. If you’re not okay with it, you can tell me you know,’ your fingers started tangling in the hair at the back of his head, your nails scratching at his scalp lightly, causing his eyes to flutter closed and his head to tip forward slightly.
‘I’m fine with it, I’m not happy that I’m going to have to sit and watch you have sex with someone else, even though I know it’s not real, but we both have to do these kinds of scenes sometimes,’ he replied, shrugging, lightly before looking over at you, a small smile on his face.
‘You don’t have to come to set today if you don’t want to.’ You took the coffee from his hands and placed it gently on the coffee table before swinging your leg over his lap until you were straddling his lap, bringing both of your hands to either side of his neck and bringing your lips down gently on his. ‘But you do realise that the whole time, I’m going to be wishing it was you and that we were in our bed.’
Austin hummed happily, his hands settling on your waist as he murmured against your lips. ‘I’m coming to set. I need to make sure that whoever it is you’re filming with understands that he doesn’t get you.’
---
You groaned in annoyance as you threw yourself down onto the bed in your trailer. You’d been trying to film the scene all day and every single time, the director found something wrong with it and decided that you needed to film it again. You could see that it wasn’t easy on Austin either. Every time the director said that he wanted to film another take, you could see Austin growing more and more annoyed as well.
A small knock came on the door of your trailer and Austin came in a second later, crawling onto the bed next to you and wrapping his arms around you, burying his face in your neck. ‘You okay?’
‘Yeah,’ you sighed heavily, turning around in his arms until you were looking at him, ‘just annoyed.’
‘You realise that he’s screwing up the scenes on purpose right,’ Austin said tightly, his grip tightening on you, ‘he’s screwing up the scene so you have to do it again.’
You smirked lightly as you ran your fingers through his hair and leaned in to press a peck to his lips. ‘Are you jealous?’ you asked, amusement colouring your voice.
‘Of course, I’m jealous,’ he replied, smirking back at you, his hand coming to up the back of your head. ‘Some actor thinks he’s being clever by prolonging the sex scene with my girlfriend.’
‘The next take I’m going to make sure that we get it.’
Austin was quiet for a second before he rolled over until he was hovering over you. ‘Well, how about I show you how it’s done well so you have something to focus on when you go back in there and you can make sure you get the scene done? How does that sound?’
You nodded enthusiastically and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss. His tongue swept across your bottom lip and your lips parted on instinct, allowing him to deepen the kiss as one of his hands moved down your body to quickly untie the dressing gown that you’d thrown on before leaving set, leaving you in just the nude underwear that you were required to wear for the scene.
Austin groaned and attached his lips to your neck, being careful not to leave any marks as his hands quickly and gently, unhooked your bra and pulled your panties off of your legs. His lips moved down to your chest, wrapping around one of your nipples and sucking gently as his finger ran through your pussy, pushing his finger inside you. ‘You’re so pretty,’ he murmured as he began to thrust his finger into you gently, crooking his finger every now and then causing your eyes to flutter closed.
‘Austin,’ you gasped, moving your hand down to his wrist, stopping your movements, ‘we don’t have time, I’ve got to be back on the set in - oh!’ You were cut off when he pushed a second finger inside you and your hand fell away from his wrist.
‘You can be a little late, just say that you were practicing,’ he said softly, pressing a kiss to your cheek and somehow, that single gesture had your cheeks flushing.
He kept gently rocking his fingers in you, his lips trailing a path down your neck and shoulder while one of his arms was pinning your hips to the bed. When your first orgasm hit, your fists scrunched in the duvet on the bed and Austin moved his lips back to yours, kissing you deeply, muffling your moans.
‘Need you,’ you whined against his lips, grabbing the hem of his t-shirt and trying to pull it up and off of his body. His hands covered yours as he helped you remove his t-shirt.
‘Hey, I’m right here,’ he said calmly when you whimpered as he leant back to push his sweatpants down his legs before crawling back over you. One of his hands wrapped around you, his hand pressing against your back, keeping your chest pressed against his as he lined up at your entrance and pushed into you. ‘There you go,’ he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.
He pressed his forehead against yours as he began to gently thrust in and out of you, keeping you as close as he physically could. You didn’t know how to explain it, probably due to the stress of having to repeat the scene over and over again, but you couldn’t bear the idea of being away from Austin in any way and Austin, being the amazing boyfriend that he was, seemed to sense that.
‘Austin,’ you gasped, your hands gripping onto his shoulders, your nails digging slightly into his skin, making him hiss in pain and pleasure. His pace sped up and the only thing keeping you grounded in the moment was the feeling of his arm around you. He was so close you felt his breath fan against your neck and you let your head fell backwards, Austin’s hand quickly moving from your back to cradle your head.
‘Look at me, baby,’ he murmured, making your eyes open, being met by Austin’s face centimetres away from your own.
‘I love you,’ you whispered in a cut off moan, your hand coming up to cup his face, your breath being pushed from your lungs with every thrust. ‘I’m so close.’
‘Go on, baby, cum for me,’ he whispered, nipping at your jaw gently as he moved his hips, brushing against your g-spot, throwing you head first into your orgasm. Your nails dug further into his shoulders and you felt him still inside you as he let his orgasm wash over him.
You both stayed wrapped up in each other for a few moments as you came down from your highs and you buried your head in Austin’s chest, feeling your eyes grow heavy as you listened to his heartbeat. ‘You can’t sleep just yet, baby,’ he murmured softly, lifting your head off of him gently and tilting your head until you were looking at him.
‘Don’t wanna go back to set,’ you mumbled, pouting slightly and making Austin chuckle. Austin moved out from underneath you, helping you sit up on the bed and crouching down in front of you.
‘I know, but as soon as you go and get this done in one take, we can go home and curl up in bed, how does that sound?’
You smiled softly at him and leaned down to kiss him once more. ‘Fine. But can we stop off and get dinner on the way home?’
Austin grinned at you, picking up your hand and kissing your palm. ‘Anything you want.’
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simpcityy · 1 year
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I'm Not Her Pt.2 (Father Miguel O’Hara x Teen! Daughter Reader)
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Summary: Miguel O’Hara is your biological father but it’s not great being his daughter when he’s hooked in the past still.
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any of its characters. This short One-Shot has made it into a series! Read part one please to understand the prompt better. (Linked Below)
Word Count: 1k
Warnings: Use of female pronouns, Use of (Y/N), angst, Father Miguel, overall, it’s just sad for now. Other dimensional Miguel… Uhhh I think that is all for now.
Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You woke up to the smell of bacon being cooked. Odd? Who is cooking if no one is home. Sitting up from your bed, you glanced at the time seeing it was 10am. Walking out of the room the smell of bacon got stronger. In front of you was your father Miguel cooking breakfast. You quickly rubbed your eyes wanting to make sure you aren’t dreaming. “Buenos días, cariño*” Miguel glances back at you hearing the creek of the floorboards. You only stood there in shock. He’s home for once and calling you with love and affection. “I…Um…good morning?” You finally replied back sitting down on the chair slowly. He placed a plate in front of you and took a seat across from you. “(Y.N) …Escucha, sé que no soy el mejor padre*.” He began. “I know I left you all on your own, but I have to man up and fix my mistakes.” He looks at you before slowly holding your hand “and I know it won’t be easy, but I’ll try my best.” He smiles before slowly releasing your hand. You only stood there stunned thinking about it. Did Lyla talk to him? Did Peter? So many thoughts were running around your head before letting out a sigh. “I …what made you have a change of heart…you know that yesterday was my- “he cuts you off, “I know it was your birthday and I’m sorry” he pulls out a box from under the table. You were so shocked about this new side of your dad that you didn’t even see the box when you sat down. “Happy Late Birthday “he smiles, sliding the box towards you. You slowly open it inside before gasping seeing the latest technology you’ve always wanted. You dug your hand till it hit the bottom and saw a ticket to your favorite concert. “How did you know I wanted this? I always begged you to let me see this singer, but you wouldn’t hear me out…I…” you are feeling so many emotions. “I told you I was going to try my best to fix this” he smiles before letting out a grunt as you tackle him into a hug “thank you! Thank you!” You chanted. Miguel only lets out a small smile rubbing your back affectionately. You let him go and walked to the top cabinet grabbing a glass to fill. “let’s have breakfast before you head to work “you smile enjoying this small moment with him. Maybe your wish did come true, to stop feeling alone. 
You walked down the halls of your high school. It was going to be your last year and you promised your friends you were going to make it a blast. Humming out a song you unlocked your locker. “Hey boo you’re in a much better mood.” Lyla appeared inside your locker snapping a selfie with you. “Glad you’re here, did you talk to my dad?” You asked her while collecting the items you’ll need on this day. “ wha? No, I didn’t. Why do you ask?” She looks at the selfie editing it. “He came home and made breakfast. He also got me tickets for the concert.” You smile enthusiastically looking at the AI. Lyla watches you “he did?” She was concerned, if she remembered correctly…Miguel was at the base this morning working but then again, he did slip out for a moment so maybe that’s where he went. Lyla only smiles “I’m so glad boo! Maybe Peter talked with him?” You nodded “I was thinking the same. Alright, I got to go Lyla.” You closed the locker going on to continue your education. Lyla stood in the pitch dark of the locker in deep thought “I’ll have to talk to Miguel” she mutters before disappearing. 
School for once was a day you enjoyed, maybe it has to do with the fact you're slowly getting your father back. You’ll have to thank Peter once you get the chance to visit the Society HQ. You start to wonder what made him realize he has a daughter here. All this thinking made you hungry, spotting your favorite empanada stand. You walked over and got in line. ‘Maybe I’ll order extra to bring home’ you thought before smiling, giving your order to the kind old lady. Once you reached home, you closed the door behind you. “Are you home?” You call out placing the bag on the table. “Ya has vuelto de la escuela*?” Miguel emerges from the kitchen door. He glances at the bag. “Y eso?” He walked over looking into the box. “ I got you some empanadas” You smile before letting it falter seeing him sniff the bag. His face of disgust was present, “I’m not hungry, you eat it.” He quickly replaces the face of disgust into a smile. Something wasn’t right here, he loved empanadas. He would never reject it. “But it’s your favorite?” You sat down and grabbed a couple for yourself. Miguel grabs a glass of water, his back turned to you. He panicked for a bit before adding on, “Yes but I think I ate too many last time that it just makes me dislike it” He walks over rubbing your head, “It will go away and I’ll go back to liking them okay?” He pressed his lips to the side of your head before sitting down next to you. “Cómo fue tu día en la escuela*?” He asked. You only nodded taking his excuse before smiling, feeling his lip on the side of your head. “ It went well!” You ate the empanada while telling him how your day went. 
Lyla stood behind Miguel watching him work away. “Hey Miguel” She appears in front of him. “Quick question” Miguel looks up at her and only grunts telling her to go on. “That was nice of you to get (Y/N) tickets to the concert” She sits on his shoulder waiting for his response. His answer only made her glitch and worried for you.
“What tickets?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Authors Note: Thank you so much! Your comments and likes made me see how this NEEDED to be a series. I'm still working on the other two projects hopefully next week I'll be able to complete the series for Location Status. So, I can focus on my other projects. Sorry for any grammar on the first part, I was using a tablet and it was all new to me. Remember to stay hydrated and to keep on simping! (Simp City Population: 66💕) Thank you for the likes and reblogs! Please reblog so others can be aware of my works! ILY 💕
Spanish Translation: (Remember some have double meaning or similar meaning) 1. “Buenos días, cariño: Good Morning Sweetie 2. Escucha, sé que no soy el mejor padre: Listen, I know I'm not the best father (Dad) 3. Ya has vuelto de la escuela: Are you back from school? 4. Y eso: And that or whats that? 5. Cómo fue tu día en la escuela: How was your day at school?
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yelena-bellova · 1 year
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Heartfirst: A Ted Lasso Story - Chapter Eighteen
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Chapter Eighteen: Free
Plot: The morning after Y/n and Jamie’s heartbreaking talk, an unexpected savior shows up on Y/n’s door, leaving her at a crossroads.
Word Count: 6.8k
Warnings: f!reader, language, mention of child neglect/abuse, mention of sex
A/N: THIS IS IT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS THE CHAPTER. I’m so excited for you guys to read this one and have all your questions answered. I hope the payoff is as sweet as you’ve been expecting. Y’all have been so enthusiastic over the last few chapters, it really makes me smile. Enjoy!! ❤️💙💛
———————
Heartache could spread through the body just as easily as illness. Y/n’s head was fogged, her limbs hurt and she felt nauseous the second she opened her eyes.
Somehow she managed to call room service and order breakfast, plain toast and coffee, before falling back into bed. The clock read 10AM, she hasn’t slept that long in years. Then again, there wasn’t much sleep had.
The weight of Jamie’s confession weighed in her chest just as heavily as the moment he’d made it. She’d been up till some unholy hour, replaying the whole thing. His words, the quiver in his voice, his lips against her face…it reduced Y/n fits of tears, breaking her over and over.
There was no question as to whether she should skip the match or not. Not only did she have no desire to be around people, but she didn’t want to mess with Jamie’s head any more than she already had. She was worried enough she’d already cost him the game.
A rhythmic knock at her door signaled room service arriving. Y/n trudged across the room and opened the door, expecting to meet the waiter.
Instead, she got Ted, comically lifting the lid off the platter.
“Mornin’ sunshine!”
Y/n sighed, smiling as much as she could, which wasn’t very much.
Ted, however, found himself hilarious. “Room service fella was about to knock right as I was walkin’ by. Thought I’d have some fun with it.”
“Of course,” Y/n gestured to the room, “Come on in.”
Ted set the tray down on the table before turning back to Y/n, who was already moving to the other side of the room. There was a stiffness to her posture, as if she’d allowed a home invader in. Ted was well familiarized with her character, but he hadn’t seen her so reserved since she first started at Richmond.
“So what’s up?” Y/n asked, her tone devoid of any life.
“Oh, I just wanted to check up on you,” Ted shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets, “Haven’t seen ya in a while.”
“Yeah, things have been busy.”
“I bet,” Ted smiled, “You and Keeley must be kickin’ butt over there. The Dynamic Duo, but with gobs more style.”
Y/n chucked politely, playing with her hands out of nervousness.
Ted waited, watching as Y/n tried to dodge his line of vision. He didn’t expect an explanation to fly out of her mouth, but she was clearly on edge. His chances of waiting her out were decent.
“Well, we’re all glad you’re back,” Ted added, “Owner’s box has been lonely without you, I’ll bet.”
Y/n shut her eyes, it made the lying easier. “Yeah, Ted, I don’t think I can make this one.”
His face didn’t fall an inch, “Oh no. Something wrong?”
“Yeah, I just didn’t get much sleep,” she continued, that part was true. She thought she remembered the clock reading 5AM around the time exhaustion took over.
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that,” Ted played along, “I know the boys miss havin’ you around.”
Y/n slipped around the topic, walking to the window. “They excited for today?”
“Oh, yeah,” he nodded, “Revved up and ready to go.”
“That’s good,” she kicked her foot against the wall and diverted her gaze to the curtains. “How’s, uh…how’s Jamie?”
Ted studied Y/n, taking in her fidgeting hands and the exaggerated effort to her words. As hard as she tried, Y/n wasn’t that good an actress.
“He’s alright,” Ted answered, “Bit off, y’know. Little bit like you.”
With every word exchanged, Y/n could feel Ted unraveling the whole thing. He could see right through her.
“That’s too bad,” she said, her voice wobbling. The tears that she’d fallen asleep with were reawakening.
“Yeah, it is,” Ted agreed, “I sure hope he figures out whatever’s botherin’ him before the game.”
“Mm-hmm,” Y/n hummed, feeling like she couldn’t breathe, “He’s got a lot of people counting on him.”
“Yeah, but that ain’t as big a deal,” Ted took a seat on the edge of Y/n’s bed. “I’m more concerned with him, y’know. Why he’s hurtin’.”
Ted noticed Y/n’s shoulders begin to tremble.
“Why he’s keepin’ whatever it is to himself rather than leanin’ on somebody.”
Y/n wiped her hands over her face, her cheeks wet with guilt. She had finally reached it, her dreaded breaking point.
She turned to Ted, who looked at her as only a father could. He knew.
“You wanna tell me anything goin’ on?”
Crossing the room and sinking down on the mattress next to Ted, Y/n softly sobbed.
“Is it Jamie?” Ted asked.
Y/n bit her lip.
“Is it us?”
She sniffled.
“Whole enchilada?”
Y/n’s trembled as she inhaled, “I’m scared, Ted.”
“Of what?”
“This,” she gestured around them, “Richmond. This whole thing.”
Ted waited for her to explain further.
“I grew up having to fight for every shred of attention,” Y/n continued, “Doing everything I could to get my parents to…care. And no matter what I did, they never loved me. Not like parents are supposed to love their kids. And when I realized that, I just…shut everyone out. In high school, in college…and it worked. I was safe. I didn’t have to worry about getting hurt.”
“And then I…” Y/n paused, the happy memory washing over her, “I met these two women in a bar and they offered me a job. And suddenly, I’m a part of this sport that I never cared about and there’s this…family I never asked for. And it should have made me happy,” she grasped her stomach, “But it scared me, Ted. It fucking terrified me because you were all so kind and welcoming and you just took me in.”
She stopped to take a breath, “And then Jamie just…” Y/n sniffled, “He just…happened. And that was the scariest part because…”
She couldn’t say the words. Just like 12 hours before, she still couldn’t physically force them out of her body. But somehow, even without speaking, the sentiment got across.
“Hey,” Ted slid an arm around Y/n’s shoulders. His dad mode had been activated.
For the first time in a long time, Y/n allowed herself to be held as she weeped.
“It’s okay,” Ted soothed, rubbing a hand over her arm, “You’re okay.”
After hours of crying underneath her sheets, Y/n thought she had nothing left to give. But the comfort of another person’s presence created a whole new wave. She was letting down from years of self-determination to conquer her pain on her own.
“Y’know,” Ted said after a moment, “Openin’ yourself up’s one of the scariest things in the world. Anyone who says otherwise’s never really done much hurting. But it’s worth it.”
“How do you know that?” Y/n whimpered.
“You don’t,” Ted stated, “No way to know what’ll happen before it happens. But if you don’t take the risk of gettin’ hurt, you’ll never end up with anything worth having. Just how life works.”
“But y’know,” he sighed, “Where we work…it’s kinda the exception. The people there’re some of the best I’ve ever known. They don’t let you down.”
Y/n’s tears were slowing in speed, but not intensity.
“Know how our right reverend Mr. Rojas likes to say that football is life?” Ted earned a slight smile from Y/n, “Same goes for AFC Richmond. These people’re gonna stick by you through thick and thin. Once you’re a part of the family, you’re there. Doesn’t matter if you wanna be. It’s up to you whether you let ‘em in..but they’re gonna love you whether you like it or not. It’s a heck of a lot easier to just let ‘em.”
Throughout the years, Y/n had lacked many relationships, but that of a parent was the one she’d longed for the most. She needed someone to help guide her, to lovingly correct her when she was making the biggest mistakes of her life. In the moment she needed it most, Ted fit the role perfectly.
Without any prompting, Y/n slipped her arms around Ted’s neck and hugged him.
Ted returned and received it, he’d been going through it too. As true as ever, helping someone out of their pit stitched a little piece of him back together as well. He wanted Y/n to succeed in everything she did and he believed without a doubt that she could. But he wanted her to be happy, truly happy, more than anything.
“Thank you,” she whispered over his shoulder.
“No thanks needed,” he smiled, “I got your back.”
Y/n let go of him slowly and hesitantly. It was 10:30, the match was less than two hours away. “You need to go.”
“I do,” Ted replied, patting her shoulder before standing up, “You think you’re gonna stop by for a bit now? Cheer us on?”
Grimacing slightly, Y/n ducked her head towards the floor.
“C’mon now,” Ted clicked his tongue, “I thought we just made progress.”
Y/n chuckled and wiped under her eyes.
“Well, I hope you change your mind.”
Ted left Y/n with plenty to mediate on and strolled back into the hall, shutting the door behind him. He could lead her to victory, but he couldn’t hand her the win.
Y/n stayed on the bed’s edge a long while after Ted left, contemplating all he’d said. She was at what was potentially the most important crossroads of her life. Heeding Ted’s advice held the possibility of more heartache, more loss, more feelings of inadequacy. But didn’t her isolation already offer that in spades? Wasn’t she hurting enough on her own? Tearing herself down at every opportunity? How could anything possibly be worse than that?
But she had felt worse, twelve hours ago. Breaking Jamie’s heart after he’d poured his out to her had crushed her. She’d hurt him so deeply in the name of self preservation. Walking away from him was the most difficult thing she’d ever done. The worst part was that it was totally avoidable. If she’d have told him that she loved him too, they’d have been saved so much pain. Jamie wouldn’t have had to endure her rejection, Y/n wouldn’t have lost the most important person in her life. The blame was entirely hers.
It wasn’t just Jamie. Y/n was so tired of keeping Keeley at arm’s length. She craved her weekly tea with Rebecca. She missed problem solving with Higgins. She wanted to laugh with Ted and talk life with Beard and annoy Roy. She wanted to go to movies with Sam and drink with Dani and have lunches with Colin. She wanted to cheer the boys on at games and celebrate with them after.
She wanted to win and lose with all of them.
She wanted to be a part of their family.
But to do so, she had to heal her first one.
Before she knew what she was doing, Y/n grabbed her phone off her nightstand. She scrolled through her contacts, even though she had memorized the number in hopes that would somehow equal a call. She pressed the name and dialed.
It rang once.
Twice.
Three times.
Y/n hadn’t expected them to pick up. It was 4-something AM where they were.
The familiar message played, asking her to leave her name and number.
Finally, the machine beeped.
“Hi…it’s me…” she started, suddenly nervous, “It’s Y/n. I know it’s early there, I don’t even know if you are there but…I needed to do this.”
Y/n drew a quick breath, it was now or never. “You guys really fucked me up. Me and Caylee. I mean, we’re really screwed up because of you. Maybe she’s doing better than me, maybe I’m the only one who’s still not over all of it but…you really messed up. And maybe you know that, maybe you don’t, but it’s the truth. I am…” she paused, “So broken because you two couldn’t love me. No— you know what,” her voice gained strength, “You could have loved me. You didn’t. For whatever reason, you didn’t. I did everything I possibly could to earn your love, and I never got it. And that’s fucked up.”
Her anger hastened her heartbeat, urging Y/n to go on. “And I don’t know how to forgive you for that. I know it’s possible, worse people have done worse things and they’ve somehow found a way to still be a family, but…I want to. If not for you guys, for me,” her chest’s rise and falls had evened out, “Because I’m tired of being broken. I’m tired of pushing everybody away. I’m tired of thinking that there’s something unlovable about me. I’m tired of thinking that being alone is somehow better than having people that care about you, and I’m tired of being scared,” Y/n threw her free arm out at her side and laughed, “I’m so tired of being scared.”
“None of this probably makes any sense to you, but, ” she sighed, “Mom, Dad, I don’t want to keep doing this. Only talking on my birthday, seeing you every couple years, not knowing what’s going on in your lives…I don’t want that. I want to know you. I want to come home for Christmas. I want to share my life with you. And if you can’t do that then…I don’t want anything.”
Her own words shocked her, was she really potentially kicking her parents out of her life?
“Because I’ve built a really amazing life here,” she said, her voice faltered with emotion, “With amazing people and they love me. They really love me and I’m crazy about them. And I want you guys to be a part of it,” she exhaled and felt the tears rock forward in her eyes, “And if you don’t want that, that’s okay. I’ll be alright because I have them.”
Y/n sighed, feeling the weight of a lifetime lift off her chest.
“I love you, Mom. I love you, Dad,” she continued, “And I hope you love me, for once, more than you do anything else.”
Y/n lowered the phone, staring at the call time. 2 minutes and 10 seconds was all it had taken. “Bye.”
The moment she disconnected, the room suddenly came to life. There was color to the walls and texture to the curtains. There was light shining in through the window and the smell of the coffee on its tray filled the room.
Y/n was free.
Lightened by the release of her life’s pain, the decision at hand became so clear. Y/n flipped on the hotel television, switching the channel to Sky Sports. The match was already into its second half and the Greyhounds were up by one goal.
She did the math in her head. The stadium was ten minutes away. She could still make it.
Flying across the room, Y/n dug through her suitcase for any clothes that weren’t pajamas. She emptied the contents onto her bed only to spot a familiar piece of fabric tucked in one of the compartments.
Y/n unfolded it.
Jamie’s jersey. Still packed from Wembley.
She laughed under her breath, the coincidence of it all was too perfect.
Y/n slipped on the oversized shirt, same as the last time. She threw on jeans and sneakers, grabbing her phone and coat before racing out her hotel room.
The elevator would take too long, she decided, so she sped down the stairs from the sixth floor all the way to the lobby. Jamie hadn’t been the only one to benefit from Roy’s training sessions.
Y/n bolted out the front doors of the hotel and ran to the sidewalk, waving her hands wildly to the cabs that drove by. Eventually, one stopped for her.
“Where to, love?”
“Ethiad Stadium,” Y/n answered as she hopped in the backseat, “Quick as you can.”
The cabbie got back in his lane and took her the way of the stadium. Y/n buzzed in the backseat, adrenaline pulsing through her veins at what she was doing.
“Could you put the match on?” She asked, most of them were typically broadcasted on the radio.
The driver flipped the station till he found the correct one. Y/n listened intently from the backseat, hanging on every word.
Halfway to the stadium, the cab hit typical game day traffic. After waiting impatiently a few minutes, the commentators announced there were twenty minutes left on the clock. If nothing changed in the next thirty seconds, Y/n would miss it entirely.
“You know what,” she reached into her coat pocket, picking a few bills from her wallet and throwing them in the front seat, “Keep the change.”
Y/n ignored the confused calls of the driver as she slid out the backseat into traffic. She ran through the lines of cars until she hit sidewalk. With every slap of her foot against the sidewalk, she could feel Ted’s words penetrate her heart even further. This was what she was supposed to feel.
The sight of Ethiad Stadium welcomed her. Guided by signage, she sprinted to the back entrance she’d usually come through with Rebecca and Keeley. Her sneakers practically screeched across the marble floor, slowing down only for the metal detector and security pat-down.
“Y/n Y/l/n,” Y/n recited her name to the liaison holding a guest list, “I’m with AFC Richmond.”
“Ah,” the young man located her, “Welcome to Ethiad Stadium, Miss-“
Y/n was off before he could finish, bolting up the staircase that would lead her to the VIP box.
She pushed past guests dressed far nicer than her and slid through gaps half her size. Somewhere along the way, Arlo White and Chris Park’s voices became clearer. They were being played through the stadium’s sound system.
“Tartt tried to soldier on, but now he’s in some distress and may require attention.”
Y/n’s steps slowed, pausing in the busy hall to listen properly.
“The med team is helping him off the field. It looks like Richmond may be in trouble.”
Never in her life had Y/n run faster.
Arriving at the VIP box, she rushed up to the security guard.
“Ticket please.”
“I don’t have one,” Y/n panted, “I’m with AFC Richmond.”
“Sorry, love,” the burly man shook his head, “Can’t let you in without a ticket.”
“No, no, no, I’m PR,” Y/n insisted, “I need to get in there now.”
The security guard was unmovable, taking a firm stance in the doorway to block her. “I can’t allow you in without a ticket, ma’am.”
With Jamie injured, there was a new recklessness to Y/n’s urgency. She didn’t quite care what she had to do to get in. She jumped in place to see over the guard’s shoulder, spotting the top of Rebecca’s coiffed hair and Keeley’s curls.
“There! There’s my bosses!” Y/n exclaimed, surging forward through the tiny space between the man and the door.
He pulled her back and away from getting any further, “You can’t enter without a ticket. If you don’t leave now-“
“Rebecca!” Y/n shouted, “Keeley! Keeley! Rebecca!”
She was loud enough that both women, plus Higgins, turned around in their seats. The sight of Y/n struggling against the security guard must have frightened them more than she’d intended.
Rebecca rushed through the room, “Let her go! Who the fuck do you think you are?”
“You know this woman?” The guard asked, still holding Y/n back as if she were some crazed fan.
“She works with me,” Keeley scolded, having followed Rebecca, “Get your fucking hands off her.”
The guard released Y/n quickly, eager to avoid any more reprimanding. “I’m so sorry, ma’am,” he addressed her, “Go on in.”
Y/n launched herself into Rebecca’s waiting arms, exhausted but charging off once more with the women.
“We thought you weren’t coming,” Keeley said as they rushed back to their seats.
Ignoring any and all things around her, Y/n ran down the steps of the box and threw herself against the railing. Jamie. Where was Jamie?
Down by the side of the pitch, he was laid out with the physios working on his ankle. Whatever move he’d pulled had cost him something terrible.
“What happened?” Y/n asked, unaware of who she was asking.
“He stopped a goal and landed wrong,” Keeley explained, slipping into the seat beside Y/n’s, “They just brought him off.”
Y/n clutched the railing with a vice-like grip, her eyes never leaving Jamie. She could see he was breathing hard, that his body clenched with every touch the physios made. He’d never been injured on the pitch this bad.
The game, however, couldn’t stop for one player. Ted made the call to play with ten men for the time being while Jamie rested. The Greyhounds held their own, Van Damme in particular blocking nearly every goal. But all Man City needed was one goal to tie things up and take the league title.
“Come on, Jamie,” Y/n mumbled as if she could will him to rally, “Come on.”
When the medics had done everything they could, Ted kneeled down next to Jamie. They appeared to be in deep conversation, Y/n would have killed to be on the other side, encouraging Jamie back onto the pitch. Whatever Ted was saying had to help. The team didn’t stand a chance if it didn’t.
“Get up, get up, get up,” she whispered, “Jamie, please get up.”
In perfect timing, Jamie extended a hand to Ted, who helped get him to his feet. Y/n held her breath as he bore weight on his ankle and exhaled when he didn’t buckle.
“Yes,” she clapped.
Ted went back to Beard and Roy, and Jamie took his time getting back on the pitch. The Man City fans livened up and began booing their former striker.
With her emotions driving her, Y/n turned to the sections around hers. “Oh, fuck off!”
Jamie shared her sentiment, taking the hate as well as the praise. He egged them on further and encouraged the taunts, jutting his tongue out and beating on his chest.
“Come on, Jamie,” Y/n cheered. There was no way for him to see or hear her, but she stayed up and screaming as if she were right beside him.
Jamie made it back to the pitch and the match resumed. Van Damme blocked another goal with spectacular skill and got the ball over to Isaac. Isaac kicked it across the field to Jamie, who controlled it masterfully.
Y/n’s breath hung in her chest as he moved across the field. Before her eyes, he came back to his truest self. This was him at his very best. This was Jamie playing for no one but himself and it was beautiful.
Jamie avoided every single City player that tried to steal the ball away. Making it to the net, he sent the ball flying and the whole stadium froze.
It soared past the goalie, a perfect shot.
The Greyhounds pounced on their teammate, hugging and slapping him on the back. The entire crowd went wild, the Richmond fans lost their minds.
“YES!!” Y/n threw her hands in the air, “JAMIE!!”
Keeley, Rebecca and Higgins jumped to their feet, cheering and screaming. Y/n and Keeley reached for one another and squealed.
Jamie chose the honorable route and didn’t make a big deal over the goal against his former club. When the boys let go of him, the ref blew his whistle and held up the sub board. Roberts was coming on, Jamie was coming off.
It was the most extraordinary way to leave a match, and Jamie was in a bit of pain. He wasn’t going to argue with the decision. But he hadn’t expected the Man City half of the stadium to change their tune. When their boos morphed to cheers, his eyes glistened with lifelong tears.
It had been a long road to get to a point where Jamie could play for himself. He’d spent all his years working to prove his father wrong, using his hatred as motivation to grow his skills. When he’d exhausted that option, he found himself a man without a country. He wasn’t sure what to do.
Then Y/n had shattered his heart.
He’d woken up with very little motivation to play. Their goodbye had added edge to all his fears. Mixed with the possibility of seeing his father, it was a miracle Jamie could move. But he was a fighter till the end, and even if he was a wreck, he would still give 110%. That was his gift.
As he looked up into the stands, despite everything, he wished Y/n was there to celebrate with him.
Little did he know, Y/n was crying tears of pride on the second level. She watched Jamie walk off the field feeling her heart completely tied to his. He’d proved everyone, even himself, wrong.
The game ended soon after that, with Richmond coming out on top. They had earned their spot in the last game of the season and a chance at the Premier League title. Y/n, Rebecca, Keeley and Higgins fell into an group hug.
“Hey, hey,” Y/n pulled out of Keeley’s arms and locked eyes, “You’re my best friend.”
Keeley’s gaze grew teary. She didn’t know what had changed in Y/n since the night before, but she welcomed it and hugged her tighter.
“And you,” Y/n reached over to Rebecca, “You’re just so fucking amazing.”
Rebecca laughed and wrapped an arm around Y/n, lovingly kissing her hair. Her friend was back from wherever she’d disappeared to.
“Oh,” Y/n grabbed hold of Higgins and grinned, “I love working with you so much.”
Higgins embraced her and shouted over the crowd. “Good to have you back.”
As much as she adored them, Y/n’s eyes fell downwards to the pitch. Jamie was celebrating amidst the boys, but they were about to leave.
Keeley followed her gaze, “Go. They’ll take him to the med room.”
Y/n’s face dropped, realizing that she had made a huge faux pas towards Keeley she hadn’t even considered.
Keeley could read the worry before it crossed Y/n’s lips. “Oi, fuck off,” she laughed, “Go get him.”
She didn’t need to hear anything else. Y/n took off running.
She sprinted through the stadium, weaving in and out of the crowd until she hit the authorized personnel area guarded by security.
“I’m with AFC Richmond,” Y/n breathed, exhausted by the effort expended. She reached into her wallet, “I have proof.”
She held up the employee ID and let the guard examine it.
“Go ahead,” the taller one slid to the side.
Y/n rushed through the glass doors. This was one of the only stadiums she hadn’t been to and she didn’t know her way. She peeked through every door until she found the physio room. Neither the medics nor Jamie were back yet.
Jamie hobbled down the hall, assisted by the physios that had aided him on the field. The adrenaline of the game was starting to wear off and he was looking forward to getting off his foot.
They opened the door to the back room to reveal the last person he expected to see.
Y/n spun around and their eyes met, fear suddenly taking hold of her. In her mad dash to the stadium, overcome with emotion, she hadn’t taken into consideration that Jamie may not have wanted to see her.
“Ma’am,” one of the medics spoke up, “You can’t be back here.”
Jamie was dazed, from the thrill of the match and Y/n’s presence. He took clumsy steps toward her, stuck in the magnetic pull they had on one another.
Y/n cautiously moved forward, terrified of what could come next. Jamie had every right to throw her out and never speak to her again. She almost wanted him to, to make her regret ever turning him away. Deserving seemed like too plain a word. She had earned his indifference.
But in the way Jamie’s eyes traced her face, warm and familiar, shocked and relieved, she knew that wasn’t the case.
They fell into each other’s arms without a single word.
“I’m sorry,” Y/n whispered through her tears, “I’m so sorry.”
Jamie buried his face in her neck, unable to do any more than absorb her. She was here. She was here.
Y/n, however, had so much to say. She urgently guided his head up to face her, tears welling in both their eyes. In that moment, telling the truth never seemed simpler.
“I love you.”
Jamie’s mouth curled upwards, searching her face in shock.
“I love you so much,” Y/n confessed, holding his cheeks, “I’m so sorry for what I said.”
She was cut off by Jamie, pressing his lips fervently into hers.
Neither of them could clearly remember the kisses they’d shared during their one night together. They certainly couldn’t count them. But this, this held all the glory and promise of a first kiss. Months of tension and longing they didn’t know they’d felt were poured out, replaced by sweet relief.
With his brain hazy and high, Jamie backed them up towards the physio table. The first step he took on his ankle made him wince, but he didn’t break from their kiss.
“Jamie, Jamie, Jamie,” Y/n pulled away, smiling breathlessly, “Ankle.”
“Don’t care,” he mumbled as he chased after her lips.
Y/n giggled, letting him steal a few more sloppy kisses. She wasn’t in a place to deny him anything.
When Jamie did eventually pull back, he nudged his nose against Y/n’s, breathing her in. “You only back here ‘cause I won it for us?”
“You caught me,” Y/n ran a hand through the back of his hair, “I’d have slipped right back out if you hadn’t.”
Jamie grinned and stroked a hand over her head. Now that he had her as close as he’d craved, he wanted to touch as much as he could. He looked down between them and spotted the familiar blue and red.
“I swear, magic shit happens when you wear this thing,” Jamie rubbed the fabric between his fingers.
Y/n rested her forehead on Jamie’s shoulder, shaking with laughter.
“I’m a fucking genius for buying it,” he beamed, pressing a kiss to Y/n’s hair. “I love you so much.”
Knuckles rapped against the door and someone cleared their throat. At some point, the medics had left and returned.
“Mr. Tartt,” one said, “We do need to check your ankle.”
Y/n removed herself from being pinned between the table and Jamie. Jamie dropped his hands to hold hers, unwilling to lose full contact as he took a seat. The physios had a difficult time working with Jamie’s constant movement, trying to pull Y/n in for kiss after kiss.
All things considered, Jamie got off lucky. A brace was wrapped around his ankle and he was advised to use crutches for the next few days. Jamie heard most of their instructions…well, some. He’d more distractedly spare the medics a glance before looking back to Y/n, who memorized all their warnings.
When they left once more, giving Jamie a minute to rest, he tugged Y/n between his legs and wrapped his arms around her waist. Y/n tucked herself into his chest, holding his head as it dug into the side of hers.
There was so much to say, so much to explain, but neither one could think straight enough for any of it. All they wanted to do was hold each other, reveling in the sweet relief of longing being exchanged for love.
—————————
Back at the hotel, Y/n packed both hers and Jamie’s room while he rested on the Coach. She’d handed his suitcase off to Will before heading to her own car, regretting her decision not to join the team bus considering how the trip was ending.
Jamie got Y/n on the phone the second they pulled out of the hotel. She’d insisted he ride back with the boys, but he was more insistent on not being apart for a second. They spent very little time talking as the phone got passed around, each of the Greyhounds wanting to speak to Y/n after so many weeks with no contact.
Keeley and Rebecca coveted the mobile the longest, badgering her for as many details as Y/n would give them on how her and Jamie had come to be. Y/n revealed precious little information, both because she was still retracing the sequence of events herself and because she didn’t feel like telling the entire team just yet.
Along the way, Kenneth the bus driver and Y/n were weaving between lanes together, switching spots in front on one another. The boys could be heard shouting for Kenneth to drive faster so they could beat her. Y/n smiled and laughed the whole way back to Richmond, lighter than she’d been in years.
They pulled into Nelson Road Stadium late, but full of energy. The Greyhounds poured out of the bus toting champagne bottles, singing and chanting as loud as they could. Man City was their great white whale, and they’d beaten them so spectacularly, they deserved a fucking celebration.
Y/n moved around the physio room while Jamie was in the locker room, setting up a bucket of ice water for his ankle, per the medic’s instructions. She headed down the hall to retrieve him after, running into the boys changed into their dress clothes.
“Looking good,” she complimented.
The stragglers cheered and hung back to hug Y/n, Isaac picking her up and spinning her around. Richard pressed a kiss to her cheek.
“Hey,” Colin grew serious and pointed a finger towards her, “You owe us an explanation for where you’ve been.”
“Yeah, not cool,” Isaac agreed, setting her back down.
“I know, I know,” Y/n chuckled, “You’ll get one. But tonight,” she gestured to the door, “Go make a big fat mess of headlines for me to clean up.”
They cheered rowdily before heading out the door, leaving Y/n beaming. She was home.
She slipped into the locker room, Jamie was seated in his assigned spot, fidgeting. She knocked softly on the door.
“Come on, superstar,” she held out a hand.
Jamie smiled coyly, “Where you takin’ me?”
“I’m making sure Richmond has a fighting chance next weekend,” Y/n replies, helping him to his feet, “Can’t afford to lose you before you beat the shit out of West Ham.”
Jamie wrapped an arm around Y/n’s shoulders, much preferring to use her as his brace than the crutches. They took their time getting down the hall and into the physio room.
Y/n went about getting Jamie situated while he typed something into his phone. Once his foot was submerged in the ice, she stood to her full height and asked, “Whatcha doing?”
“Texting me dad,” he answered plainly.
Y/n blinked, “I’m sorry, what?”
Jamie clicked his phone shut and set it aside. They had a lot to catch up on. “When I was down, Coach came and talked to me. Told me that I should forgive me dad,” he quickly held up a hand to Y/n’s worried expression, “Not for him. For me. I’ve been in my head all week ‘cause I felt like I couldn’t be me without hatin’ him. Y’know? But between Coach and mum…I don’t know…I found it again. That thing that made me wanna play in the first place. Not for him, not for anyone…just me.”
Y/n smiled proudly. Jamie’s dad was the permanent thorn in his side. Rather than live with the pain, he was learning to grow around it.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she shook her head. It was also deeply ironic that Y/n had made a similar phone call to her parents hours ago. “Just something to tell you later.”
Jamie stroked a hand over her back, “How ‘bout you tell me what made you change your mind?”
Y/n slotted herself between Jamie’s thighs and wrapped her arms around his neck. The new intimacy stole any intention of ever having less than one hand on each other.
“Ted came by my room this morning,” she started, “We had a talk and I…I just realized that I wanted to be with you more than I wanted to stay scared of you.”
Jamie’s brows raised, “Scared of me?”
Y/n nodded and brushed a hand through his hair, “You and all those big feelings…they scare the shit out of me. But I got a taste of what life’s like without you,” she sighed, “And I can’t do it.”
Jamie’s fingers moved against Y/n’s back, he watched and listened intently.
“I raced through the fucking streets for you,” Y/n smiled, “I fought a security guard.”
Snorting at the mental image, Jamie slipped an arm under Y/n’s legs and lifted her onto his lap. She yelped and tightened her hold around him.
“We’re gonna break this table,” Y/n laughed, “And people are going to make assumptions.”
“Let ‘em,” Jamie smirked, eyes full of adoration, “Say it again.”
“I love you,” she whispered joyfully.
He wanted to hear it a million more times and he wanted to say it an equal amount. He captured her lips once more in a soft kiss, content to stay there as long as the world would let them.
The door to the med room squeaked open, “Oh, fuck.”
Jamie and Y/n broke apart, twisting to see Roy and Keeley stood in the doorway.
“You two were annoying before. You’re gonna be fucking unbearable now,” Roy complained.
“Oh, stop it,” Keeley lightly smacked his hand, “They’ve waited this long.”
“What’re you guys doing?” Jamie asked.
“We thought we’d come and keep you company,” Keeley answered.
Roy kicked the door shut and held up an unopened champagne bottle, “Fucking celebrate!”
Keeley squealed and ran over to hug Y/n and Jamie, the three of them embracing one another. “‘Cause that was fucking amazing, Jamie.”
“Yeah, I was fucking amazing,” Jamie agreed, “You’re right.”
Keeley cackled while Y/n dropped her head to Jamie’s shoulder. “Dear God, I don’t think I can handle this ego.”
“Gotten this far,” Roy grumbled, rolling his eyes at his protege.
“We might need to tag team it,” Y/n suggested, “What do you say, Royo?”
“No,” he pointed between Jamie and Y/n, “You signed up for this, he’s your fucking problem.”
Y/n looked down at Jamie, who was already grinning up at her. He’d been her problem for a long long time.
“I’ll make the best of it,” she said, pecking Jamie’s lips.
Roy popped the champagne and he and Keeley pulled up chairs. He offered his ex the bottle, “You start us off.”
“Mmm, don’t mind if I do,” she took a swig.
“Right,” Jamie turned to Roy, “What the fuck happened, man?”
The four of them laughed as the champagne was passed around.
“Did I look sexy?” Jamie asked, turning to Y/n and handing her the bottle, “Babe?”
“I take it all back,” Y/n joked and took a swig, “I’m not ready for this. We’re back to being friends.”
Jamie laughed and tugged her closer to him.
“Shame you weren’t injured in your fucking head, innit?” Roy grinned.
“Right,” Keeley spoke up, “You gonna tell us how this happened? Spare no details?”
Roy took the bottle from Y/n, “You can spare the details.”
Y/n scoffed, “Oh, there’ll be details spared.”
“She just doesn’t want people to know she stole my virtue,” Jamie cheekily smiled, “I get that right, babe?”
Keeley gasped, Roy grunted.
“I will fucking leave you here to freeze to death,” Y/n threatened, “If you ever tell people that’s what happened.”
The foursome stayed put for a good half hour, their raucous laughter bouncing off the walls. Y/n and Jamie explained an edited version of what happened in London to cause such tension at Georgie and Simon’s house. Keeley, surprisingly, didn’t seem to care that she was watching one of her best friends and her ex-boyfriend tell how they’d fallen in love. She was more thrilled than anyone. Roy was less than enthusiastic, but couldn’t hide his smile as he saw how happy Jamie seemed.
When it was time to leave, Roy helped Jamie in to Y/n’s car. He’d need someone to help him around the house for a day or two and there was no one else he wanted to take care of him. They made the twenty minute drive to Jamie’s house non-eventfully, Jamie pressing a kiss to Y/n’s hand at every red light they hit.
Y/n unloaded their bags first, dropping them in the hall, before coming back to help Jamie out of the car. They managed the driveway and the threshold just fine, and the second Y/n had locked the door behind them, Jamie was on her, crushing their lips and bodies together.
After so many months of falling without notice, neither realized just how much love they had for one another until they could express it fully. Like looking through some all-knowing kaleidoscope, everything leading up to that very moment made crystal clear sense. The jealousy, the adoration, the attachment…it had all been leading to this.
All of Jamie’s hard work, his effort to become his best self had mattered. This was the payoff.
Y/n’s long-standing walls crumbled with each touch, never to be rebuilt. Her fear melted at their feet.
They were free of their pasts, belonging only to their future.
————
Heartfirst Taglist: @lalla-04p @optimisticsandwichgladiator @makingmunson94 @taytaylala12 @storysimp @sokkigarden @lightninginab0ttle @poohkie90 @alipap3 @verra-nerevarine @shineforever19 @spaceagechimera @burnafter-reading @qardasngan @cyberpvnk-enthusiast @sogoodtoheritsvicious @buckybarnex @angelsunflxwer @blueanfield @thewildestwonderland @sablecities @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @strawberryacethingz @mentalistfan @tortilla-maria1 @katdahlali @for-fuck-sake-im-alive @glitterquadricorn @jamieolivia27 @imvibin69 @katlizada @lil-tracys @fanaticalfantasist @heyitz-julia @cactajuice @peachyy-tea @notalxx @rockchickrebel @anxiety-prime-max @loveforaugust @jellycolors @actuallybarb @heletsmelovehim @lovinnscarletknight @imfalling-inlove @leslieiscrying @meg-ro @littlemisssunshine192 @beboldbebravethings @maydayfigment @spencerreidsbookclub @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @lemoonandlestars @im-a-weirdo-for-life @mindless-rock (tags cont. in comments ❤️)
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humiliatingsluts2 · 4 days
Text
Daily Denial
I wake up early because the first thing I have to do is edge for fifteen minutes. While I’m still half asleep I slip my hand between my legs and find my cunt already dripping. I know my body is conditioned to expect my morning edge, and I’ve noticed every morning now I wake up needier and wetter.
I glance at the clock and confirm how long I’ll be edging: from now until 8:10am. I can’t avoid a small whimper escaping my lips as I rub. I let my hips gently move to grind against my fingers and I already feel myself reaching the edge. The pressure and sensation builds with each touch and I start panting softly. I start rubbing and humping harder. I can feel my wetness dripping down onto my thighs. I need to cum so badly, but I know I can’t.
In desperation for more relief, I finger my cunt instead of rubbing my clit. I need to feel full and I start fucking myself with my fingers. Instead of the immediate desperation to tip over into orgasm from rubbing my clit, I start to feel the familiar ache of denial building. I glance over at the clock. It’s already 8:08am. I shut my eyes and focus entirely on my cunt. I keep fingering and humping my hand until I’m almost certain two minutes are complete and check again: 8:11am.
Despite how hard edging is, I don’t want to stop. But I know my duties. I take my hand from between my legs. I’m embarrassed to see it covered in my wetness; my fingers are soaked. I suck them clean. Ever since my owner started forcing me to clean up after myself, this is the first thing I taste each morning.
I get out of bed and go make my breakfast. I flip open my laptop and bring up porn. I don’t get to choose the porn, I watch what my owner has sent me while I eat. Today he picked a video of a girl tied to a park bench and being fucked by several men. I feel my cunt throbbing while I finish my breakfast. The sounds of the pornstar gagging on cock fills my kitchen and I already know I’m going to need to edge again this morning. I message my owner, “Morning Sir. Please may I edge some more? This porn is so hot.” He replies a few moments later,
“Good morning slut. You may edge, but you’re going to be your own porn. Edge in front of your mirror and film it all. Watch how desperate you are.” I’m grateful for permission to edge, even though I desperately want to watch this pornstar get gangbanged for longer.
“What should I wear Sir?”
“Only heels.”
“Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”
The moment I finish breakfast, I go back to the bedroom, strip, and kneel in front of my full length mirror. I realise in shame that I wasn’t even told to kneel, I just knew I belonged there. I take my heels from under my bed, and feel even more shame at realising these pink heels had only ever been worn for edging. I put them on and prop my phone up on the floor. I angle the camera to picture my entire body and face. I know what Sir will want. Even seeing myself in the camera viewfinder is making my cunt wet again. My naked body and throbbing cunt look like porn already.
I take my vibrator from beside the bed and press record. I start watching myself in the mirror instead. I can already see how horny I am: my face is flushed and as I turn the vibrator on I open my mouth and start to moan. Immediately I’m on the edge. I press the vibrator on my cunt and watch my body respond. I feel the need to cum already. My body shakes as I reach the edge. I lock eyes with myself in the mirror and turn the vibrator up. The desperation to edge is overwhelming, and I feel tears pricking my eyes. I know I need to edge hard. I know I need to cum. I know I need to do as I’m told. Every muscle in my body is tensed as I see how far I can push myself. I hear myself moan. I feel my cunt contract and tense as I get closer. I tear the vibrator away and fall forward onto my hands and knees. I won’t cum.
My breathing is heavy while I recover. I gently stroke my cunt to feel how sensitive I’ve become already. I take the vibrator and lick it. I’m becoming addicted to the taste of my own edging. I glance at the camera and think about my owner watching. I smile and start licking the vibrator enthusiastically. I picture sucking my owner’s cock while I edge and before I know it I’ve started edging harder again. I put the tip of the vibrator in my mouth and start sucking it slowly while I edge. I always think I look my best with something in my mouth.
I decide to edge hard one more time and then send the video to Sir. I start slowly trying to deepthroat the toy, I want to get some drool on my tits too. I keep watching myself. I focus on my cunt and how wet it is. I can see it dripping from my fingers, and I rub my clit harder. I need to cum. I need it so badly. For a second, I almost consider doing it, without permission. I don’t know how I’d be punished, but it feels worth it. The relief would be so much. I feel myself get closer and closer. I picture cumming, I picture how it will feel. And I stop. I won’t cum without permission. I can’t.
I lick my fingers clean and stop recording on my phone. I immediately send the video to my owner. It’s over half an hour long. I finish cleaning up and wait on the floor naked for him to respond. The feeling of being such a good edgeslut is so comforting and my body is glowing with pleasure.
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