#I’m not sure i want to come back tk life

[paperstorm]

Thanks for the tags @strandnreyes @ironheartwriter @heartstringsduet @orchidscript and @tommy-kinard-buckley!

“Benson,” Carlos says, tucking his phone between his ear and shoulder and glancing guiltily back towards the bedroom. He tucks himself into the corner by the refrigerator, speaking in as low a voice as he can manage without outright whispering. “Cooper Benson.”

“Okay.” The clacking of a keyboard fills the silence for a moment and then Lexi asks, “What did he do?”

Carlos presses his lips together. He wishes he could do this outside, but TK will hear the sound of the door opening and closing. It isn’t exactly quiet as it slides along metallic tracks. Wincing slightly as guilt settles on his shoulders, Carlos replies, “I’m not sure. Maybe nothing.”

“Who is he?”

“Can you just run it?”

“No, actually, I can’t, not without knowing what you’re up to,” Lexi answers with a snort. “Are you running secret detective missions on your own again? You know the brass isn’t going to keep looking the other way forever, especially if you start going over people’s heads. Men tend to get their panties in a bunch over shit like that.”

“Not this time,” Carlos answers honestly. He lets out a slow breath and lifts his head, holding the phone with his right hand and pinching the bridge of his nose with his left. “He’s just … a guy TK has been hanging out with. I don’t even think he did anything, I just need to make sure.”

There’s a pause, and Carlos knows it’s coming before it does and has his defensive hackles up before Lexi even asks, “You think TK’s stepping out on - ”

“No,” Carlos interrupts, too loud, and then softer, repeats it. “Lex, can you please just run it? And get me his phone number, if you can? I’ll owe you one.”

“Alright,” Lexi agrees, despite the skepticism still in her voice. “What kind of a grown man is named Cooper anyway? Is he a Labradoodle?”

Carlos bites the inside of his cheek to stifle a laugh. “I guess he wasn’t a grown man when somebody named him.”

“Tragic,” she quips, and then promises to text him when she has any information.

Carlos makes sure the ringer is off on his phone and sets it on the countertop next to him. He rubs his hands over his face, digging his fingertips into tired eyes. He’s itching to cross the space between him and TK and climb back into bed with him, drag TK into his arms and hold him whether TK wants it or not. He doesn’t do that, and he won’t, but he wants to.

For a moment Carlos wonders if he’s ever been more scared than he was of the blank look on TK’s face an hour ago, but then his brain helpfully supplies all the other times he’s seen that expression drain the life out of the man that he loves. TK shuts down when things are really bad, Carlos knows that both from experience and from the fact that Gwyn - who knew TK better than Carlos did back then - confirmed it. There are layers to his upset, stages of his pain, but the part where everything turns off and he goes blank and empty is the worst of them and Carlos has never, he’s realizing now with a horrible twist in his stomach, known what to do when that happens.

He tries, with every inch of strength he has left, to keep from concluding that means he isn’t up to the task of loving TK the way he deserves to be loved.

His phone lights up and catches Carlos’s eye. He scoops it off the counter and quickly scans the text from his partner, letting him know the background came up clean and providing Cooper’s number. Carlos presses into it with his thumb, selecting the option to call and bringing the device back to his ear before he can chicken out.

“Hello?”

Carlos clears his throat. He tries to straddle the line between speaking softly enough that TK won’t hear him in case he’s turned his music off, and not speaking so softly that Cooper will think something is weird. “Is this Cooper?”

“Yeah, who’s this?”

“It’s Carlos. Uh, TK Strand’s boyfriend.”

“Oh! Hey, man!” Cooper says, suddenly cheerful as he’d been the other day when he’d seemed genuinely pleased to meet Carlos. Embarrassment heats Carlos’s cheeks as he remembers the way he’d acted.

“Hey.”

“What’s up?”

“Are you, uh, busy? Right now? Like, tonight?” Carlos holds the phone away from his face and rolls his eyes at himself. He doesn’t know how to do this, and he’s aware wording it that way almost certainly sounds like he’s making a proposition that he definitely isn’t making. “Sorry, not …”

“Is TK okay?” Cooper asks in a wary voice, and Carlos internally thanks God the man understands why he’s calling.

“No. I mean - yes, he’s safe and everything,” Carlos prefaces, forgetting just for a moment what not okay looks like in their world. “He’s just … he had a really bad day. And he skipped -”

“The meeting, yeah,” Cooper finishes with a sigh. “Shit. He texted to say he wasn’t coming, I should’ve pushed him harder on why.”

“Yeah.” Carlos winces, but pushes through his discomfort and forces himself to ask, “If you’re not doing anything, could you maybe come over? I think he needs … you.”

It still hurts. It hurts to think, it hurts to say, it hurts to accept. Carlos still wants more than anything to be able to snap his fingers and take every scrap of TK’s pain away, and it still makes him feel smaller than a bug on the hot pavement to admit that he can’t do that. But just a fraction of the tension in his shoulders does seem to dissolve away now that he’s said it out loud, and he tries to make himself see that as progress.

“I live pretty close to you guys, I’ll be there in maybe 20,” Cooper says.

“Are you sure?” Carlos checks, the manners his mother instilled from childhood reminding him not to put anyone out.

“This is what we do. My old sponsor used to drop everything when I needed her, and one day TK will be solid enough in his recovery that he’ll do this for someone else. We help each other, pay it forward.”

“Okay,” Carlos replies, trying to feel as confident about it as he hopes he sounds.

Tagging @theghostofashton @birdclowns @reyesstrand @strandnreyes @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

@carlos-in-glasses @actual-sleeping-beauty @thisbuildinghasfeelings @herefortarlos @heartstringduet

@tailoredshirt @goodways @alrightbuckaroo @lightningboltreader @freneticfloetry @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad

@liminalmemories21 @nancys-braids @chaotictarlos @lemonlyman-dotcom

@whatsintheboxmh @inkweedandlizards @bonheur-cafe @reasonandfaithinharmony @thebumblecee

@never-blooms @sanjuwrites @orchidscript @jesuisici33 @kiwichaeng

@fallout-mars @honeybee-taskforce @fifthrideroftheapocalypse @fitzherbertssmolder @safeashousespdf

@just-inside-her @firstprince-history-huh @captain-gillian @tellmegoodbye @anactualcaseofthetruth @ironheartwriter

Want to be added or removed from the list? Lmk

[strandnreyes]

thanks @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @heartstringsduet !!

“Dance with me,” Carlos blurts out before he can second guess himself.

TK looks like he was expecting anything but that. He tilts his head and blinks a few times. “What?”

Carlos shrugs his shoulders, hoping his explanation is adequate. “It’ll keep you from having to mingle with… what did you call them? Hornswatters?”

If anything, TK grows even more confused before recognition takes over his face, making him utterly delighted. He laughs, a true head-thrown-back-eyes-crinkling laugh. A little bit of that boyhood crush creeps back into Carlos’ being without his permission as he stares at TK’s joyful face. He can’t stop his own smile from slipping onto his face, a natural reaction to seeing TK’s.

“It’s hornswoggler. And I was right. Augustus hasn’t changed one bit since he cheated in a cricket match.”

Carlos hums. “Then dance with me. I can’t ward them off forever, but at least for a little bit.”

TK stares at him for a moment and Carlos feels laid bare, as if TK’s seeing inside him and understanding all his secrets. “You just want to so you can make sure I’m not sneaking off again.”

“Keeping you close would make my life easier,” Carlos agrees with a smile and TK rolls his eyes before moving to the doors.

“Well, come on then.”

tagging @alrightbuckaroo @bonheur-cafe @basilsunrise @chicgeekgirl89 @carlos-in-glasses @carlos-tk @doublel27 @freneticfloetry @lightningboltreader @liminalmemories21 @orchidscript @paperstorm @reyesstrand @rmd-writes @nancys-braids @safeaswrites @three-drink-amy @theghostofashton @tellmegoodbye @welcometololaland @thisbuildinghasfeelings @whatsintheboxmh @fitzherbertssmolder + open tag!!

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

I've been seeing some speculation from people that Carlos is going to cheat on TK with his new partner and that's what is going to cause the drama in their marriage 😭

Hi anon, I have seen these takes too and I’m honestly not sure where they’re coming from. I didn’t see anything in any of the articles that came out today that indicated that this is the direction the show is gonna a take Tarlos this season.

A few counterpoints:

First and foremost, Tarlos is soulmates!!! Carlos is TK’s whole heart, Carlos didn’t feel right until he met TK. They’re in love and they’re married and TK is Carlos’s life partner. He’s not looking for anyone else. (I will caveat this by saying I know it’s a tv show, and a dramatic one at that, but I just don’t see them giving us the soulmatesism of last season just to have Carlos cheat this season.)

The simple fact that we do not have time for a cheating storyline this season (thank you @carlos-in-glasses for pointing that one out). This is a 12-episode season and Carlos already has so much going on. He don’t got time for an affair!

As @thisbuildinghasfeelings pointed out in this post, the showrunner and even Ronen have hinted at a Carlos spinoff with his Ranger partner. Why would they be thinking about a spin-off with Tarlos and the guy Carlos cheated with 💀 Also at least one of the articles said they have a “brotherly” rivalry.

There was a rumor floating around back when 3x13 aired that there was supposed to be a cheating storyline with Cooper and Ronen and Rafa both told Tim they didn’t want to do it. So, if that’s true, I can’t see why they’d go forward with a cheating storyline now.

Listen, at the end of the day Tarlos is endgame, they’re married and they’re SOUPMATES. Yes, it’s a tv show and anything could happen, but I’m not gonna worry about it until it becomes clear there’s something to worry about!

Thank you anon and may peace be upon you 💛

[chicgeekgirl89]

Summary: While responding to a multi-car pileup, Carlos is involved in an accident that leaves him fighting for his life. A/N: This was a request from @rubinsteinsilva126. They requested: I’d want a Carlos Whump story! Carlos getting injured, riding in the ambulance that TK responds to the call of, and then TK later holding Carlos in the hospital bed because Carlos was in pain and needed comfort 🥺 (Also, they requested this almost a literal year ago. So I am no longer taking requests because I am clearly bad at following through on them! 😂)

Read on AO3

T.K. does not want to be at the scene of a multi-car pileup. T.K. doesn’t want to be at work in general today. What T.K. wants is to be at home, in his bed, with the covers pulled up over his head, his moody playlist blasting in his ears.

But unfortunately his work schedule doesn’t care about his feelings in the slightest and instead he’s arriving in an ambulance at said multi-car pileup in the middle of the highway.

And his husband is here. Because of course he is.

T.K. spots Carlos directing traffic around the accident as soon as they pull up in the rig. Usually this would be a delight. Usually he would smile and wave and feel a rush of joy at seeing Carlos during a call. There’s something special about working together to save lives. 

But today he is not thrilled.

“Oh look, there’s Carlos,” Nancy says as they jump down from the rig and start gathering supplies. “Are you going to go say hi?”

At that moment Carlos sees them, his eyes locking with T.K.’s. Neither of them smile and after a second Carlos looks away, focusing on directing a blue Toyota around the mangled mess of cars.

“Well that seemed a little frosty,” Tommy says as she steps up next to them.

“Frosty? That was downright arctic,” Nancy says, eyeing him curiously. “Trouble in paradise?”

T.K. shifts the backpack on his shoulders, annoyed at how the straps are already digging into him after only a few seconds. “Carlos and I,” he says testily, “are in a fight.”

“Well that explains it,” Nancy says with a roll of her eyes. “You’ve been grouchy all day.”

“No I haven’t,” T.K. snaps back at her in annoyance. The only thing worse than being pissed off at your husband is having your friends point out that you’re pissed off at your husband.

“Sweetheart if looks could kill we’d both be dead,” Tommy says gently. “Several times over.”

“Well I’m—” T.K. huffs, “I’m mad at him.”

“Yeah that doesn’t mean the rest of us should have to suffer,” Nancy says. “What are you so mad at him about?”

T.K. turns his hands into fists, squeezing them tightly as all the feelings of the last twenty-four hours bubble just underneath the surface of his control. “He keeps turning the thermostat down.”

Tommy and Nancy both blink at him. When they don’t speak he presses on. “I turn it up and the next thing I know I come back out and it’s turned down again. It’s like he doesn’t even care about climate change at all!”

“Haven’t you two lived together for like, a long time now?” Nancy asks. “Shouldn’t you have worked out the temperature of your living space at this point?”

“We had to replace the thermostat last week,” T.K. says. “It’s all different now.”

“I understand that must be frustrating, but I’m not sure it’s worth having a fight about,” Tommy says.

“That’s not the only thing,” T.K. continues. “It’s the pillows.”

“The pillows?” Nancy asks.

“He buys allllll these throw pillows and puts them all over the place, but guess what? Are we allowed to touch them? Lean on them? Use them for what they’re intended for? No. Why? Because they’re ‘decorative’ and if I lean on them they’ll ‘lose their shape.’ Isn’t that insane? Why do we have them if we can’t use them?”

“Okay, yes, that does seem kind of annoying,” Tommy says, but T.K. is on a roll, and now that he’s started airing his grievances to the public he can’t seem to stop.

“Also he got his hair cut too short last time!” he gripes, glaring at the back of his husband’s head.

“Um, his body his choice dude,” Nancy says.

“I know that!” T.K. says with a scowl. “But he knows how much I like his curls and he didn’t even tell me he was going to do it, he just showed back up at the loft looking like a sheep after shearing!”

He can hear the words they’d hurled at each other even now, as if he’s reliving them.

T.K. had come out of his shower, still toweling off his hair when he’d heard the whoosh of the AC system kicking on. Eyeing the thermostat on the wall he’d sighed. “Seriously Carlos?” he’d said, turning to look at his husband, who was reading in their bed.

“What?” Carlos asked in confusion.

“You turned the thermostat down. Again.”

“Yeah…” Carlos said slowly. “It was getting stuffy in here.”

“You know that air conditioning is a big part of the issue with our carbon footprint.” This shouldn’t have been a big deal to him, but T.K. had come from a meeting grumpy and in the mood for a fight.

Carlos set his book down and scoffed. “I don’t think using the air conditioning that was built into our home long before we moved in is that big of an issue T.K. We live on the top floor. Heat rises. It gets warm up here without it on.”

“Then open a window.”

Carlos bristled, rising to the bait T.K. was laying out for him.“It’s ninety five degrees outside! The air is so stagnant out there it’s like opening an oven door! Why are you freaking out about this?”

“I’m not freaking out, I’m just asking you to think about the environment and our electric bill!”

“Our electric bill is fine! What do you want me to do, plant a tree every time I turn the temperature down a degree?”

“That would be a start.”

Carlos rolled his eyes. “It’s my home too T.K. I should be allowed to have a say in it.”

“Oh, like I have a say with the throw pillows?” T.K. snapped.

“That’s totally different!”

“How Carlos? How is it different? You want to use the air conditioning, I want to use the throw pillows. It’s exactly. the. same.” He gestured sharply with his hand to emphasize his point.

“Because the air conditioning doesn’t lose shape and color when you lean against it! I picked them all out, I’d like them to stay nice so that when people come over they don’t look like shit!” Carlos’ eyes flashed dangerously, a sign that he was well and truly pissed off.

“You think our friends are judging us for our misshapen throw pillows? Wow you really are a control freak.” 

“You don’t care if our friends think our home is nice?”

“I really don’t.” That wasn’t true, but it felt good to say it in the moment.

Carlos rolled his eyes.“Okay. Sure. Next time we have game night we’ll just let our all friends sit against lumpy, flattened pillows.”

“Do you not hear how insane that sounds?!”

“Oh, is it as insane as keeping mealworms in our refrigerator next to our food so they last longer?”

T.K. gapes at him. “You said it was fine!”

“I said it was fine. I didn’t say I liked it,” Carlos said, his lips pressing together into a thin line.

“So you’d rather Lou II starve? Is that what you want?”

“No, of course not T.K.! It is unbelievable to me that you would even say that after all I’ve done for that stupid lizard!”

They’d gone on for another fifteen minutes before descending into frosty silence after T.K. declared he hated Carlos’ new haircut. Both of them refused to move to  the couch so they laid angrily next to each other until they fell asleep. The silence had persisted through the morning as they readied for work, ending in a terse, “Love you, be safe,” from both of them before they headed out the door.

“You’re comparing your husband to a sheep?” Tommy asks, an amused smile on her face.

“Yes!” T.K. gripes. “And that’s not all. He also—“

There’s a screech of tires and a car, a silver Honda, pulls out of the line of vehicles that are waiting to pass the accident and tries to zoom around them. Time slows and T.K. sees what’s about to happen and realizes there’s nothing he can do to stop it.

The Honda clips Carlos and sends him spinning, his body whirling like a top before he collapses to the ground, unmoving. 

“CARLOS!” His husband’s name tears from his lips and T.K. is running before he can think, feet flying over the ground to reach Carlos’ side. He skids to a stop and drops to his knees, backpack falling to the ground beside him.

Carlos is flat on his back, eyes wide, mouth gaping as a harsh, rasping sound escapes from his chest. He looks shocked, terrified, and T.K. can tell his own face is a mirror of the same horror. “Carlos, Carlos, hey, hey talk to me,” T.K. babbles out, hands hovering, afraid to touch, all his training completely gone from his mind as panic takes over.

“T.K.” His name comes out on a whimper and T.K.’s heart shatters inside of his chest. He’s never heard Carlos make such a terrible sound in his entire life.

The world around him feels like it’s moving through sludge, everything slow, muffled out of focus. The only thing he can see is Carlos’ pained expression. And then there are hands on T.K.’s back and everything snaps into real time as Nancy and Tommy join him on the ground.

“T.K. back up,” Tommy says sharply. “Give us some room to work.”

T.K. shuffles back awkwardly, hands clenching into the knees of his uniform pants to stop them from shaking. 

“Carlos, baby, where are you hurting?” Tommy asks as she takes scissors to Carlos’ uniform shirt.

“My…chest…” The words barely come out, strung together on forced gasps that sound terrible and painful. “Leg…”

“He’s not moving air,” Nancy says, a stethoscope pressed to Carlos’ chest. “I think it’s a pneumo Cap.”

“Okay, we’ll have to decompress him,” Tommy says. “Grab the kit. And a splint, he’s got a tibia fracture in his left leg.”

“On it.”

It’s all moving so fast, everything a blur, and T.K. is struggling to keep up with it all. It doesn’t feel real, this can’t be happening. Not to them. Not now. Not again—

“T.K. come hold his head,” Tommy orders.

In hindsight he’ll wonder if she really needed his help or was just giving him something to do so he didn’t come apart at the seams on the asphalt of the highway, but in the moment he does exactly what she asks without question, his hands, cloaked in blue gloves, cradling Carlos’ head just above the c-spine collar they’ve put on him to keep his neck stabilized.

Carlos’ terrified eyes look up at him, boring deeply into his own and T.K. should offer some words of comfort, tell him he’s going to be okay, that they’re taking good care of him, but he can’t. The words won’t come.

He can tell when they finally shove the needle into Carlos’ chest, feels relief when air hisses out and Carlos takes a huge breath. “That’s it, keep breathing Carlos,” Tommy says as Nancy slips an oxygen mask over his face. “You’re doing great. Just relax and let us take care of you.”

She glances up her eyes finding T.K.’s and usually he would grab onto the calm he sees in them, but he can’t right now. His spirit feels wild, like it’s been torn loose from his body and is whirling around in an uncontrollable storm. “T.K., you with me?”

“Yes,” he rasps out. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Good. Because I’m going to need your help getting him onto the backboard.”

They roll Carlos on and then get him into the ambulance. Later T.K. will find out the entire event took less than ten minutes. In the moment it feels like hours. 

T.K. sits in the back of the ambulance with Tommy as Nancy drives. He watches as Carlos’ body finally starts to relax, morphine doing its work as it drips into his veins. 

He looks up into T.K.’s eyes and it’s only then that T.K. realizes he’s crying, his eyes a darker brown color than usual that only comes when tears are falling. T.K. reaches down and carefully wipes them away.

“I’m—“ Carlos’ voice is breathy and muffled behind the mask, but he pushes the words out anyway, “—sorry.”

T.K. shakes his head his own tears falling now, droplets landing in his lap and soaking into his pants. “You don’t need to be sorry,” he says, brushing a hand gently through those short curls that he said he hated last night and now he loves more than anything in the world. “I’m sorry.”

“Call…my….mom?”

T.K. nods. “As soon as we get to the hospital and you’re checked in okay?”

Carlos’ eyes close and T.K. thinks the medicine and the pain have finally pulled him under, but then the blinks them open again, and they spear him with a terrified intensity. “Scared.”

Oh god. Oh god this is going to break him. “I know you’re scared,” T.K. says, clearing his throat when his voice cracks and resuming brushing his fingers gently through Carlos’ hair. “But you’re okay. You’re stable and we’re almost to the hospital. They’re going to take good care of you and soon…soon all of this will just be a memory. We’ve got you. Tommy’s here and Nancy and…and we’ve got you.”

He hopes that will be enough.

Within fifteen minutes of arriving at the hospital Carlos is taken off to be prepped for surgery. That’s when T.K. finally loses it, collapsing into a chair and sobbing into his hands as Nancy rubs his back while Tommy takes over the task of calling Andrea and his dad.

“He’s going to be okay,” Nancy says, but T.K. can hear tears in her voice too. “It’s a pneumo, some bleeding, broken bones, it’s all fixable. He’ll be all right.”

“What if he’s not?” T.K. cracks out. “What if this is…what if he…and the last thing we did was fight about the thermostat?”

“T.K., Carlos knows it was just a fight,” Nancy says. “Couples have fights. About important stuff and stupid stuff.”

“She’s right.” Tommy sits down on his other side. “Just because you were having an argument, it doesn’t negate everything else. Carlos knows that. And you do too.”

“It was just so stupid,” T.K. says, sniffing and wiping ineffectually at his eyes which will not stop crying. “How could I have been so stupid?” He struggles to push the next words past his throat. “I don’t want to lose him.”

“I know,” Tommy says. “Let’s not go there yet though, hm? Let’s have faith. Carlos is strong. He can pull through this.”

Andrea and his dad arrive and T.K. pulls it together enough to be strong for his mother-in-law who needs to believe that she’s not going to watch her only son die when the loss of her husband still feels so fresh. T.K. explains what happened, interprets everything the doctor told him on arrival, discusses what the surgery will entail, and the possible outcomes. 

It’s exhausting and he takes himself off to the bathroom for another crying jag about two hours after they arrive, returning with red, swollen eyes that they both can see. Andrea immediately folds him into a hug and they stay that way until the doctor finally returns.

He reports that Carlos’ surgery went well. They repaired his lung along with some other internal damage and set his leg fracture. He’s also got three broken ribs and a concussion, but overall he’s in good shape considering. It could have been much worse.

Somehow that phrase doesn’t feel like a comfort.

Tommy and Nancy leave once Carlos is settled into a room. He’s very out of it, the sedation and heavy pain medication taking a severe toll on his ability to stay awake. He manages a hello to his mom and Owen before lapsing back into sleep again. It’s brief, but it goes a long way toward reassuring them all that he’ll be okay. 

His dad heads out after that to grab some things from the loft so T.K. doesn’t have to spend the entire night in the hospital in his uniform and Andrea decides to go to the chapel for a little bit. T.K. is grateful for the space.

He sits in the chair next to Carlos’ bed, picking at a stray string on the cuff of his shirt. God he fucking hates hospitals. They’ve spent more time inside these walls the last few years than any human should have to. If he never has to come here again it will be too soon.

“T…K.?”

The croak has him snapping his head up to find Carlos struggling to open his eyes, pain lining the tension in his limbs, the darkness of his eyes, the creases of his forehead. He has medication onboard, but it’s like his body still knows how broken it is, even if he can’t fully feel it.

“Hey.” T.K. sits forward and forces a smile that feels like it’s straining his face. “Hey baby.”

Carlos swallows, the pain mixing with confusion in his eyes. “Am I—?”

“You’re okay,” T.K. says. They filled him in the first time he woke up, but it’s clear that it didn’t stick. “You were in an accident. Your lung was collapsed and you have a broken tibia and some ribs, but you’re going to be okay.”

Carlos nods, his eyes closing briefly as if he’s struggling to take it all in. “I’m okay?” Carlos asks, like he’s really not sure.

“Yes,” T.K. says firmly, reaching out to cover the back of his hand. “Yes, you’re okay. It’s going to be a long recovery, but you are okay.”

Carlos’ next breath is shaky and full of tears. “I’m not—I don’t want to leave you.”

God damn it just when he thinks he can’t cry anymore. “You’re not leaving me,” T.K. manages to choke out, squeezing his hand. “You’re not—you’re not dying. I promise baby. I promise.”

“I love you,” Carlos is crying in earnest now, like he has absolutely no control over his emotions. “I love you. I’m sorry.”

“Shh,” T.K. soothes, sliding the chair closer so he can run his hand up and down Carlos’ arm. “There’s no need for sorries.”

“I wasn’t safe.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Carlos swallows hard like it hurts him to do so. “Do you want some water?” T.K. asks and when Carlos nods he helps him sip a little bit.

When he’s done he licks his lips and meets T.K.’s eyes. “We can turn the thermostat up.”

T.K. chokes out a laugh, his eyes still damp with tears. “I don’t care about the damn thermostat.”

“I don’t want to fight anymore.”

“Me neither.” T.K. grabs a tissue and uses it to gently wipe the tears from Carlos’ face. “We’ll bring in a neutral third party to deal with the thermostat setting. Paul can do it.”

Now Carlos manages a small huff of a laugh. “And we can use the throw pillows.”

“Thank god,” T.K. says, trying to lighten the mood. “I was ready to sign the divorce papers on that one.” He reaches up and brushes a hand through Carlos’ hair. “And I love your hair. I love all of you. All the time. Any way you are.”

“I love you too.” He shifts a little bit, trying to get more comfortable. “Was my mom here?”

“She’s in the chapel. I think she needed some time to herself,” T.K. says. “My dad was here too. He went to grab us some stuff. If there’s anything particular you want from home I can text him.”’

Carlos shakes his head. “Just you.”

“I’m here,” T.K. says immediately. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Thank you.” Carlos closes his eyes and a shudder runs over his frame.

“Are you cold?” T.K. asks. He knows all too well that blood loss brings on a special type of chill. One that settles into your bones, that you can’t get rid of no matter how hard you try.

“A little,” Carlos says, shivering again and then letting out a small, pained sound as the movement jars his injured body. “Can you…can you hold me? Please?”

He shouldn’t. There’s barely any room in the hospital bed. And Carlos is covered in bandages and IV’s and the cast on his left leg. But honestly, T.K. needs some physical reassurance as much as his husband does right now.

So he carefully maneuvers himself into the bed, moving so slowly that it’s almost painful, tucking himself up against the railing so that his touch against Carlos is practically featherlight. “Why don’t you try and get some sleep,” he says quietly, running his fingers gently over Carlos’ stomach in a soothing motion. 

It always helps Carlos sleep to have his back rubbed, but this will have to do for today. He watches as the tension slips out of his husband’s body, sleep pulling him down and T.K. breathes out. They’ve survived. Again.

[emsprovisions]

5 for the romance prompts hehehe

Send me a prompt if it pleases you! I’ll be working through them this weekend 💕 hi Steph here you go :)

5. them rushing into your embrace after a long day

“Hey, babe,” Carlos looks up over the back of the couch as TK slides the door open. It’s a sight TK has come home to countless times before–Carlos wearing his glasses and comfy clothes, some sort of reading material in his hands–but right now, it’s everything TK needs.

He drops his bag and kicks off his shoes more precariously than usual in his rush to round the couch and sink down onto Carlos’s lap. Carlos barely has time to get his magazine out of the way before TK’s in his arms, burying his face against Carlos’s neck, shaking.

“TK?” Carlos sounds worried, and he can’t exactly blame his fiancé, he knows he’s acting weird.

He sniffles and shakes his head, barely containing the tears that he’s been holding back since he left his last call, well over an hour ago.

“Please just hold me right now,” TK whispers, his voice broken.

He’s rewarded with Carlos’s arms tightening around his waist, his warm hand stroking down his back.

“Of course, baby, I’ve got you,” Carlos reassures him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

That makes the floodgates break loose, and TK falls apart, held together only by Carlos’s arms, like an anchor wrapped around him in his ocean of despair. Carlos gently rocks him as he sobs, rubbing his back and pressing kisses into his hair until his tears subside.

After a few minutes and TK’s sobs turn to hiccups for breath and noisy sniffles, he sits up in Carlos’s lap, and the pad of Carlos’s thumb wipes at the wetness beneath his eyes before TK can do it himself. Wordlessly, Carlos pulls TK in against him again and leans them both to the side so Carlos can reach the tissue box on the table next to the couch. He offers one to TK and he gratefully accepts with a watery smile and blows out his snot.

“Sorry I made your shirt a mess,” he says a couple of crumpled up tissues later.

“That’s okay,” Carlos says softly, rubbing TK’s back again, and looking up at him with his certified cow eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Shitty day with an even shittier ending,” TK swallows, picking at the collar of Carlos’s t-shirt.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Carlos asks, because he always gives TK an out if he doesn’t want to relive the horrors from a shift.

But TK nods, still picking at Carlos’s shirt. “We got a call from this guy and his husband who were in a car accident. They got hit by a drunk driver and…the driver made it but his husband didn’t.”

Carlos frowns, his forehead creasing as he listens to TK, still rubbing his back.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.”

TK shakes his head. “It’s not just that…they…were coming home from their honeymoon.”

“God,” Carlos breathes.

“Cap and Nancy were working on him and I was checking out the driver and…god, his sobs, baby, I had to hold him back. It was just so heartbreaking, and all I could think about was how I can’t lose you.” TK worries at his bottom lip, tracing Carlos’s face with his thumbs.

“TK–”

“I know, I know. I shouldn’t think like that. I’ve seen plenty of people lose their partners on calls, this one just…hit a little harder.”

Carlos’s arms lock around TK and pull him in closer. “TK, it’s okay, I get it. I can’t exactly promise you won’t ever lose me, but I have you to come home to every night, that’s a good enough incentive to try my hardest to get here.”

TK leans his head on Carlos’s shoulder, holding him as much as he’s being held.

“I feel so bad for that guy too,” he whispers. “Losing the love of his life like that…”

Carlos kisses TK’s temple and tips his head against TK’s. “It’s horrible.”

“I just really needed you after that, but he doesn’t have anyone now.”

“You’ve got me, TK,” Carlos murmurs into TK’s hair. “And I’m sure he has other loved ones to lean on too.”

TK nods against Carlos’s shoulder. “I hope so…” he lifts his head and looks into Carlos’s eyes, raising his hand to stroke his cheek, brushing his thumb against his skin beneath his glasses. “How was your day?”

“Better now that I’ve got you.”

[silverwings22]

Forget-Me-Not Blue, In Red (Commander Fox One-Shot)

SFW, but injury, Order 66, and angst

This idea hit me out of nowhere, and I don't know if it'll turn into anything bigger like my Tech one-shot did. But have fun with it!

He’d woken up to the truth a little slower than some of his brothers, but Fox had woken up eventually. The Republic, the war, the Empire, it was all a farce put together to turn the galaxy upside down in someone else’s image. He and his kin had simply been the bullet in a loaded slugthrower, and the order had been a finger on the trigger. 

Order 66. 

He’d been aimless afterwards, watching things shift around him. Smoke belched from the burning Jedi Temple for days, while he and the Coruscant Guard ensured order. There were riots, there were planets resisting… then there were TK troopers and suicide missions as clones were phased out. Squad by squad, legion by legion, until no one was left between him and the chopping block. He’d always thought he’d go first, before the younger brothers. The shinies, the ones he looked after and protected. He’d always taken the first week of any posting when a new delegate requested a clone guard detail, so he could see what they were like. The bad ones got older, hardened brothers who could take it. He’d never let little brothers suffer under someone like Palpatine… that’s why he’d stayed so long. He could have transferred, there was one posting he’d always wanted… but he stayed. He took the abuse, the bruises and scars, the unexplainable gaps in his memory, the injuries that looked like lightning strikes on a planet that didn’t have lightning… 

He’d done it for his brothers. Now, most of them were gone. Some turned up dead, on missions or in the barracks without explanation besides a cold look from an Imperial officer. Others just went missing. There were rumors, whispered between clones, of a place you could go and words you could say. If you went, you didn’t come back. Like tales of fae on Stewjon, the mysterious Other Ones would whisk you to a new place. What it was, no clone had returned to tell. Some were willing to risk it. After a year under the Empire, Fox was willing to risk it. 

It was a derelict hangar bay in the lower mid levels. The instructions had said come alone, with only what he could carry and to give up the rest. “I’m looking for a ride home.” He said quietly, just enough he hoped someone heard. He hoped someone came, and it wasn’t a trap to weed out the traitors among the clones. His only answer then would be a blaster bolt to the chest for treason-

“You’re in direct violation of Order 66. You are guilty of treason, and will be executed.”

“Fox?”

The sound of footsteps made him turn, and he found himself looking at 501st blue paint on the white standard armor. Jaig eyes were on the helmet, covered in tally marks to represent fallen brothers… he knew that armor. His comrade, his friend, his brother. “Rex?”

“Fox.” Rex pulled his helmet off, revealing his blonde buzz cut and a new scar on the right temple. “I was hoping you’d show up one day.”

“The reports said you were dead.” Fox reached for his arm with unsteady hands, clasping Rex tightly. If the captain noticed his hands were shaking, he didn’t comment. 

“It’s better if the Empire thinks that. Come on. You’re safe now, vod.”

When Rex took him off Coruscant, Fox was whisked to a field hospital. He wasn’t even sure what planet he was going to, Rex apologizing when he told him the secrecy was needed. “There’s a chip in your head, vod. That’s why you carried out the Order. We have to take it out, and make sure you’re okay before you decide what you do with the rest of your life.”

“What have other clones been doing?” Fox asked, sitting blindfolded in a seat of a shuttle beside him. 

“Some decided to keep fighting. There’s a resistance, mostly clones but with some nat-born help. Others have been retiring. They’re exhausted. I can’t blame them… some go to a place a couple friends of mine found, called Pabu. Others have settled on Pantora. Senator Chuchi’s been helping us.”

“I can’t go to Pantora.” Fox said, too fast and he knew it.

“Did something happen, Fox?”

“I did something… during the Order. Something unforgivable.”

Rex patted his brother’s shoulder. “We all have regrets. It wasn’t your fault, it was the control chip in your brain. We’ll get it out soon, and you’ll be free. I promise.”

Fox wanted to call his brother a liar. He’d never be free from what he’d done. He wanted to confess right there, but his jaw locked and his throat closed at the memory of the night the Republic fell. “C-can I tell you?” He finally managed to rasp. “You should know… who you’re saving. What I’ve done.”

“You’re my brother, Fox. That’s all that matters.” Rex said it kindly, but Fox didn’t feel like he deserved any of it. “But I’m listening.”

Fox nodded, fists clenched in his lap. With the blindfold on, he could imagine every word he spoke as he stuttered out the story. The worst thing he’d ever done, the reason he had to get out of the Empire.

Kandri Chitose had been Senator Riyo Chuchi’s personal assistant, a golden-eyed beauty who always wore her rose-pink hair in a set of twin buns held with golden pins. He’d met her when Chuchi requested a clone detail for her, and Fox had arrived for his customary week-long observation. 

Most delegates, even the nice ones, didn’t address the clones at first. Most were nervous being around military personnel, and didn’t know how to break the ice. Some were intimidated. Many just didn’t view the clones as people, and acted accordingly. 

She’d offered him a cup of caf before he was fully in her office. “Good morning!” She’d been balanced precariously on a stool, set in a rolling desk chair, trying to reach the bag of caf on top of her office shelf. “Hold on a moment, I’ll make us both a cup if you’d like. My menace of a brother came to visit and he put my caf all the way up here! Do you like caf? I have tea if you’d prefer.”

“Do you need help, ma’am?” He could only watch her on the tippy toe of one foot, blue calf disappearing under her red dress. Her favorite color, he’d find out eventually. 

“I think I’ve- aha! Got it.” She clambered down with a smile. The gold tattoos on her face formed a bar over her nose and triangles on her chin and cheekbones. “Now then. I’m Kandri. What’s your name, and please don’t tell me a CT number. I get mixed up with numbers, but I’m good with names.” 

“Commander Fox, ma’am.” 

She held out a hand to shake, and her nails were painted red. He’d remember that polish forever. “It’s nice to meet you, Commander. Caf or tea?”

“Caf is fine, but you don’t have to go to the trouble-”

“It’s not trouble. There’s creamers in the fridge by my desk, pick whichever you like.” She headed to the caf maker and got it going with deft fingers. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever put creamer in caf.” He frowned, but took his helmet off so he could at least enjoy the offering she was so insistent on giving him.

She wrinkled her nose. “To each his own. If you ever change your mind, it’s right there. Here’s the sugar. Now, I know they didn’t tie up a Commander like you to babysit little me, so you must have stuff you need to get done. Can you do it here, or should we go to your office after caf? I can work anywhere. Riyo just has me drafting her speeches today.”

By the end of the week, Fox almost didn’t leave the posting. She made him caf every morning, and let him get work done. When there was time, she asked him about himself and his brothers. And he’d tried every creamer in her fridge.

He assigned her a shiny, because he knew she’d be good to his little brother. She’d given him her comm frequency and told him he had an open invitation to have caf in her office, and to call her if he ever needed anything.

Fox infamously didn’t like people. He liked Kandri after that. 

He didn’t intend to call her. He felt bad as he dialed the frequency, but it was 0300 and he had no one else to call for help. She hadn’t asked any questions, just showed up at the senate building in a red peacoat over her white nightgown, feet in a pair of ballet flats. He was on the bottom of the stairs with a broken foot and gash over his eye. Kandri had pulled his weight, armor and all, onto her narrow shoulders and helped him to her office so she could take a look at him. She’d cleaned his cut and put a bacta patch on it, then tried to argue with him that he needed to go to the hospital. 

He feigned embarrassment and told her he’d fallen down the stairs. Kandri had put her hands on her hips and stared him down, her hair out of its buns and falling in gentle waves down almost to her waist. He’d never thought about how pretty she was until then, in her pajamas with no makeup, golden eyes bright with worry. He eventually did let her take him in her skycar to the garrison medbay across the city sector, where she’d sat with him until a clone medic set and put his foot in a boot. Then she’d driven him to the barracks, taken one look at how many stairs he’d have to manage, and shook her head. “You can sleep on my couch, Fox. Call Thire and tell him you’ll be out until you’re better.”

“I can’t let everything pile up on him, Lady Chitose-” 

“Then I’ll pick up your datapad tomorrow and you can call it light duty. But you need to rest, or your foot won’t heal right. And please… just call me Kandri?”

After his foot healed, he made time to see her more often. She always had a cup of caf and a smile for him. Sometimes she picked up lunch for herself and Senator Chuchi and “got an extra” that always coincided with something he’d mentioned wanting to try or liking before. He watched her, bit by bit, moderate herself for him. 

If he mentioned that a certain phrase reminded him of the senator that threw a full cup of hot caf across the room at him or a brother, that phrase disappeared from her vocabulary. If he mentioned a delegate who mistreated clones, she stepped between them and her shiny guard the next time they met in the hall. Fox noticed, if he didn’t see it live he’d find out on security holo review later. Bit by bit, she showed him she was safe. She was kind. She could be trusted. 

Eventually, he started letting her visit his office after hours, when he was catching up on things and no one else was there. She sat in the chair by his desk, moving it closer day by day… until one day she was sitting on the desk corner itself. His helmet was sitting beside her, and her hand rested lightly on it. 

“Fox?”

“Hm?”

“How’d you get that scar across the bridge of your nose?” Her voice had been so quiet, so fretful and hesitant. Like she was afraid she’d scare him off.

He paused, stylus in hand, and looked at her. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I see how many other ones you have. Your hands, your arms under your blacks, your chest… when you stayed at my apartment, I could see there were so many…”

“I’m a soldier, Kandri. Scars are a part of the job.”

Her pink eyebrows furrowed, red painted lips parting as she fixed her eyes on him. “Fox. I know you didn’t fall down the stairs that night.” 

Fox stiffened. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do.” She slowly leaned a little closer. “I see you. The first one to step between your brothers and danger. The last one to back down. You didn’t even flinch when that Zillo creature attacked this building, but you twitch when we pass certain senators in the hall. You look around when you hear the Chancellor’s voice. And you’re a clone commander, the most graceful and battle-ready people in the galaxy. You didn’t fall. Someone pushed you. Tell me who.”

“I can’t do that.” He shook his head, unable to tear his eyes away from hers. 

“But they hurt you.”

“I’m a soldier. A clone. We’re meant to be expendable.”

“That’s not fair, Fox.” Kandri kept leaning in, though her hand on his helmet tightened its grip. “It’s not right. You don’t deserve it.”

“Lots of people think so.” He swallowed hard. He had an idea of what she was going to say next, and he wanted to hear it just as much as he didn’t. Once the words came out of her mouth, he’d never forget them. They’d mean too much to him.

“I would never hurt you.” Kandri whispered. “But I know you can’t believe that. Too many people have already let you down.” 

He’d never been more seen than that moment, in the light of those golden eyes. There was no formality or procedure to hide behind. He’d already let her in too close, he couldn’t close the door again. “I want to believe you.” He admitted. 

“Would you let me try to prove it?” 

The galaxy had moved much too fast when he nodded. “... how?”

“Like this.” She’d kissed him, so soft and sweet and unlike anything he’d known since the day he came out of the growth tube. She pulled back after a moment, checking his expression for hesitation or distaste. When she found none, her cheeks flushed indigo and she slowly reached up to cup his face in both her hands. He closed his eyes when her thumbs stroked under them, tracing his scar and temples, where his black hair had started to gray far too early even for a man with accelerating aging. “I would never hurt you.” She said softly. “I’ll keep telling you until you believe me.” 

He was one of millions of men, made to die indistinguishably as numbers on a strategy board. He’d accepted it in his exhausted way, told himself he’d do what he could for as long as he could to keep the vod’ikase safe. But for a moment, under Kandri’s soft blue hands, he felt like he might actually matter. He didn’t quite believe, but he wanted to.

Her second kiss was on his forehead. He adored her after that.

Stolen kisses during caf time turned to sneaking out of the barracks into her apartment, or either of their offices. Riyo Chuchi wasn’t stupid, she knew there was more than a friendship and simply let Kandri off the hook early some days. If her skycar was still at the senate building when the Senator left… she didn’t say anything. 

Fox knew he was in love with her when she had to go back to Pantora for a month with Chuchi. She’d kissed him goodbye in an alcove behind the barracks, promising she’d be back soon. He’d missed her every single day, and thought about comming twice an hour at least. Only the reality that they both were working stopped him… but he found himself thinking about her constantly. Every petty jab from a senator who viewed him as barely more than a droid was easier to take when he imagined her rolling her eyes and whispering what an asshole she thought they were. Even the innate dread he felt whenever he was in Palpatine’s office eased slightly if he distracted himself with the thought she was coming back soon. 

The Chancellor had noticed. Fox should have realized that was odd. There was no outward sign, no change in behavior, he’d been sure of it. But Palpatine had looked suspicious, like he’d both anticipated Fox’s discomfort and felt slighted by its absence. He’d been worse than ever after that, but Fox ignored it. It didn’t matter. The job, the Republic, wasn’t his entire life anymore. It was just an assignment, something to get through so he could go back to where he wanted to be. Kandri waited on the other side of whatever shitty day he was having, with open arms. 

When she’d sent him a message that she was back, he’d asked Thorn to cover for him for the first time in his life. His brother had been delighted, grinning like a moron. “Please tell me you have a date. And please tell me it’s that cute Pantoran girl with the buns.”

“That’s classified.” Fox had left his helmet in his office, he was in such a rush. He never forgot equipment, and failed to give a fuck when he realized what he’d done. He’d get it again when he went back to work. All that mattered was getting to her apartment. 

Kandri had met him at the door, in a red sweater over her day dress, and threw her arms around his neck. “I missed you so much.” She’d whispered, snuggling into his chest. “It’s good to be home.” He’d understood then, that Pantora wasn’t her home anymore. He was, like she was his. He’d spent the whole night in her arms, lighter than he’d felt since he was a cadet. She was almost asleep on his chest when he kissed her rosebud pink hair and murmured. “I believe you.” 

Kandri had smiled, looking up at him in the dimness of her bedroom, the city lights from the window casting dynamic shadows across her face as she smiled at him. Her fingers trailed over the bridge of his nose. “I love you too.” 

“Execute Order 66.” 

When the Order went out, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. His head was in a vice, his thoughts muddled and discoordinate. He’d walked out of his office with other members of the Coruscant Guard, up to Palpatine’s office. The window had been broken. There were dead Jedi, traitors. The 501st was marching on the Temple, and he was to catch any who escaped them. 

All Jedi had to die. 

It had been a blur. His boots on the ground, orders given, the sound of breathing in his helmet, and then he’d turned down into an alleyway. 

Two kids, barely more than ten or twelve, were clinging to each other. They were dressed in brown robes, with beaded braids by their ears. Next to them were a pair of Pantoran adults, a male and a female. They were comforting the padawans, clearly trying to help them. When he turned the corner, the woman stiffened at the sound of his boots. Before she even turned around, Fox had recognized her red dress. “Kandri.”

“Fox.” Kandri’s eyes were wide, but she looked relieved to see him. “What’s going on? These padawans said the Temple was attacked! We were out walking-” She took a step towards him, but froze when his blaster lifted. 

Run, Kandri. Run. Take the padawans, take the other Pantoran. Run. Memory begged her, but she hadn’t. She’d pushed the other Pantoran and children behind her. “Lofi… take them and go.”

Lofi. Her brother, the one who hid her caf. She talked about him, he was a disability advocate and teacher at the fiber arts college at Coruscant University. He was blind. She was so proud of him. They were twins. Fox remembered all the facts but he couldn’t lower the blaster. 

“You’re in direct violation of Order 66. You are guilty of treason, and will be executed.” His own voice had said, dull and uninflected, like he was complaining about the pre-programed weather and not pointing a blaster at her. 

Kandri’s eyes watered up with tears. “Fox… please.”

“You are a traitor to the Empire.” There hadn’t even been an Empire yet, but he’d said it like it had existed for decades. 

The tears spilled over, tracking down her cheeks. There were freckles across her nose, darker blue and barely visible in the dim alley light. A constellation all his own, or it had been. “I love you.” She whispered, because of course she had. What else could she have said, in the moment before he pulled the trigger? Before the blaster bolt struck her dead in the chest and she collapsed backwards, head slamming into the pavement. Sprawled on her back, one bun coming loose and dipping pink hair into a puddle, knees tucked together and one foot bare where the blast had knocked her right out of her shoe. 

He’d ripped his helmet off and vomited immediately, tears in his eyes. 

He’d shot her. He’d killed her.

Kandri. 

He wished she had run. He’d never have seen her again, and she’d have thought he was a child-hunting monster for the rest of her life but she would have been alive. Instead, she was dead in an alleyway. And Fox should have called it in, but he couldn’t make himself get any closer to the corpse of the woman who’d only this morning had been alive and sneaking him a breakfast pastry from a Senatorial banquet just because she knew he liked cinnamon. 

Fox had left her there, because he couldn’t make himself look at what he’d done.

When he finished the story, Rex just let him squeeze his hand. “I’m sorry, vod. I’m so sorry.”

After the chip was removed and he recovered, Fox didn’t know what to do with himself. He refused Pantora, he was hesitant about Pabu… so he decided to join Rex’s fight. Senator Chuchi was helping Rex, and it was a fight worthy of going to battle again. It was something he could imagine being proud of eventually, if he could ever be proud of anything he ever did again. 

No matter how much his vode assured him that the chip had forced his hand, he still remembered he’d been the one to pull the trigger. He’d hunted those padawans. He’d declared Kandri Chitose a traitor. He’d killed her for the very thing he’d fallen in love with, her willingness to stand between someone and what hurt them. She’d been willing to save someone. She’d saved him, and those padawans, and her brother. 

He couldn’t save her from himself.

“The base here is staffed with mostly clones, but there’s a couple civilian volunteers. Trace and Rafa Martez own the hangar you came to, you’ll see them. There’s a couple mechanics, one really smart and obnoxious droid technician, and a cleaner.” Rex explained, walking Fox in. “Don’t eat anything Howser says he cooked. Don’t stand near Gregor if he says he’s got an idea…. Anything else he should know, Vik?”

The bearded clone beside him, with gray eyes and a tired expression born of a place Fox had only heard whispered about, “Tantiss”, nodded. “Be nice to Kitty. Every clone in here will punch you if you make her cry.”

“Kitty?” Fox frowned. 

“She’s the cleaner. A couple of the guys who defected like you did found her barely alive on their way out. She had a sucking chest wound, but they had some spare bacta and managed to save her. She doesn’t talk, we’re not sure if she can’t or just won’t. But she makes little noises like a tooka, so we started calling her Kitty and she seems to like it.” Vik explained. “She looks after everyone, especially the new guys who just got out of the Empire. She likes to bring people food.” 

Fox nodded. “She sounds nice.”

Rex smiled. “I keep trying to get her to leave base, to see if we can find out who she is. She doesn’t seem to remember anything… but if anyone so much as mentions it, she hides. I found her in a walk in freezer once.”

“She didn’t get sick?” Fox frowned. 

Vik shook his head. “Pantorans can take the cold better than us.”

Fox winced, but nodded. 

“Here she comes. Someone must have told her we had a new arrival.” Rex nodded. 

Sure enough, coming from the back of the base was a Pantoran girl with pink hair tied into a messy braid. She was wearing what looked like clone blacks bottoms and an undershirt, with a gray poncho tucked into her belt, and too-big boots, while very proudly carrying a tray of fruit. Vik smiled as she got close enough to make out the details of her face. “Hey, Miss Kitty.”

Kitty made a definitively tooka-like purr-myrr sound and held up the tray towards him. 

Rex nodded. “She’ll get upset if you don’t at least eat a little.” He whispered to Fox. “She keeps this place spotless, and we give her little odd jobs outside of that to keep her happy.” 

Fox nodded, turning back towards her as Kitty walked up with her tray. Just as her boots stopped, inches from his own, he dropped his helmet to the floor.

There was a constellation of freckles across her nose, sitting under liquid gold eyes that looked back at him with a guileless smile. She wore no makeup, no gold pins in her hair, but Fox’s mouth went dry at the sight of a ragged blaster-burn scar peeking just out of the top of her shirt. Her braid, pulled over her shoulder, was tied with a tattered ribbon in a bright, cheerful red. She held up the tray again, squeaking at him curiously with tone instead of words. 

“Th-thank you.” Fox whispered, taking a piece of melioruun. Kitty kept squeaking until Rex and Vik took a piece, then trotted off after Howser in the distance. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Vik frowned.

“You don’t need to take her off base to know who she is.” Fox whispered, the fruit dripping juice down his gloves when he unconsciously squeezed it. 

“You know her?” Rex glanced over at Kitty again. He’d been trying to figure out what to do with a girl who could barely seem to look after herself, but who was determined to try to look after the clones fighting for their lives against the Empire.

“I’m the reason she can’t talk, or remember.” Fox swallowed hard. “It’s her.”

“Her?” Rex frowned.

“The one I told you about… Her name is Kandri Chitose.”

[daniwib]

Season 8 speculation

Here’s my own speculation on what is going to happen in s8 based partly on wishful thinking but also because TM likes to do the unexpected while also calling back to earlier episodes:-

Chim and Hen both get transferred out to different stations. Chim possibly to the academy as a trainer instead of a regular station. Either way, they’re not at the 118 anymore under Gerrard. The fandom is so focused on what their lives are going to be like working under Gerrard again that I think TM is going to flip things on us and they’re not going to be working under him at all. They’ve both already done that before and they’re both much stronger, wiser and more mature now. They won’t take his shit and so we won’t see it. It’ll be more dramatic to take them out of the equation completely and split the 118 up.

Eddie is in a dark place because Chris is still living in Texas. He’s aware things are not great with Gerrard but he’s not focused on it, he’s just trying to keep his head above water in his personal life. Call back to Tommy saying he didn’t like who he was working under Gerrard – Eddie cannot handle anything else, so he falls into his old military mindset and toes the line at work. Does whatever Gerrard says, doesn’t talk back etc etc. Inadvertently becomes Gerrard’s golden boy because of it though he barely even notices. I’d love for that to cause issues between him and Buck but I think their relationship is too strong for that. But then TM has surprised us all before so who knows.

It takes a while before Gerrard realizes that Buck is dating Tommy but once he does, he starts making Buck’s life hell at work in the small ways he did back in the day with Hen and Chim. Who aren’t there to support Buck, and Eddie doesn’t seem to notice, and so Buck flounders. He’s never experienced constant, relentless homophobia like that before. How would he react? Does he try to hide who he is like Tommy did while working under Gerrard, or does he instead flaunt it? Does it wear him down and make him withdraw into himself? Or do we finally see some real growth for his character and see him standing up for himself without any support from his coworkers? (I’m assuming Tommy is supporting him bts but perhaps not against Gerrard personally. Tommy has his own past demons about the man to deal with).

Call back to 3x16 when Buck says “Yeah, like if Bobby retired. [sic] You know, or one of us got moved to another house, we would still all stay in touch” and Buck’s seeking reassurance that that won’t happen to them. Which they don’t actually give him, btw. Fast forward to the end of s7 and what’s Bobby done? Retired. Sure, he changed his mind and wants to come back but as of now in canon he is retired. So, I’m waiting to see some or all of them transferred to other houses and the 118 be completely separated either physically or in Eddie’s case mentally if he stays working in the same house as Buck.

They did it in Lonestar already and we know the shows have echoed themes before (whumpable chaos coma besties TK & Buck anyone?). The drama potential of it happening to the 118 is enticing. It would affect all of them in different ways and who knows we might even get that Buck breakdown we’ve been wanting for years. There are so many ways all of their storylines could go before we finally get that sweet sweet resolution and see Gerrard get the karmic slap he has to have coming – because that’s something else that 911 loves, dispensing karma to those who deserve it.

I haven’t even mentioned the whole Bathena being homeless or HenRen losing Mara storylines, but I know those will come into play again in s8 and I am excited to see where things go with them, too.

I also really hope that Gerrard was the arsonist and that we get more of the 118 losing their homes to arson (cough cough Buck’s loft) and perhaps even the station itself. Far fetched? Possibly. We’ve had more insane things happen on this show, though.

I’ve deliberately not speculated on the BuckTommy or Buddie of it all because quite frankly I’m tired of the shipwar. I’m content to wait and see where TM goes with that. What I’m excited for is to see how the dynamics of Gerrard and every member of the 118 play out during s8.

[bray-washed]

Some of you are gonna hate this, disagree with this, get mad at this. Whatever.

Let me say from the jump: CM Punk, 100% should not have assaulted his coworker. Should not have. That’s a fact.

HOWEVER, and this is in no way excusing the actions but this is not ALL his fault like everyone is saying. This entire scenario was building because TK cannot be a boss, that’s not to say TK is a bad person - by all accounts TK is known to be a good person just not a good boss. In TK’s defense (& being in the wrestling business as a booker & promoter myself) it’s hard to be a boss to your friends, because that’s what happened his employees became his friends and that’s a hard position to be put into; however, that does not mean he needs to neglect his duty as a boss and he clearly has. (& in my opinion, is being taken advantage of by people who are using him for his money but that’s a different conversation)

Watching that footage, it’s clear to see that CM Punk was telling the truth. Point blank, what he said happened that night, happened. So that leads me to believe that everything else leading up to that moment also happened. We can’t (conveniently) hear what’s being said but I would guess Jack said something that angered Punk - neither were really showing aggressive behavior, maybe when Jack went to turn away from Punk in the beginning & Punk pulled him back - but like? Jack was turning away mid conversation if I, as a veteran, was trying to talk to a new kids about something & they turned away from me? Yea, I’d pull them back… cause the entitlement is not happening absolutely now.

Seems to me like Jack Perry was being uncooperative from the get-go. Why? Who knows. That’s the real speculation, Punk will say it’s cause of his “friends” (the Young Bucks) influence which is a fair speculation but it could be anything. Jack Perry is young & dumb & is probably forming some kind of ego of “I know better than the old timers” every wrestler gets that mentality for a little while and they need to grow up & out of that mentality.

Punk comes from the era of wrestling where if you talk shit, you get hit - fuck around & find out, if you will… and I as well come from that era & mentality, being a professional is first on my list so I’ve never gotten into a physical fight but it doesn’t shock me or fill me with rage when it does happen - not saying it should but some people need to have those consequences come to light. Jack fucked around and Jack found out.

Now, whatever Punk said to TK, no clue… I don’t think just watching that that TK can say that he feared for his life there was nothing to fear there. Now, we can’t hear anything & I’m sure yelling was happening… but fearing for his life? Be so for real right now Tony, honey, you run a wrestling locker room… arguing is bound to happen… relax.

Genuinely, this showed most of us nothing & I don’t think it did anything to benefit AEW. AEW is just trying to fight fire with fire, for no reason. If TK wants to run a “business” then… do that. Want to know what WWE 100% would never do? Show footage of a former employee in a fight backstage. When all that nonsense when Punk left happened… did WWE show footage of Punk leaving to “prove a point”? No. Ditto for Steve Austin - who ALSO famously took his ball & went home and WWE has camera crew literally everywhere… there have been TONS of fights most likely caught on camera but we’ll never see them why? Cause they are a business.

I think this was a bad idea all around… but that’s just me.

(But also can we please talk about Samoa Joe just pacing back & forth, minding his business, getting pumped for his match…. I don’t know why but that just made me love him more.)

[tommy-kinard-buckley]

Christmas! Also the Friendly Nudge one because TK!

This is both also I accidentally screwed up one for @30somethingautisticteacher for the Christmas one so he y'all go!

Buck is sitting on his boyfriend’s couch with a cup of coffee while rewatching the Descendants movies on the older man’s Disney+ account when his boyfriend walks through the door while rubbing his tired shoulder. “Do you want me to massage that shoulder for you, sweetheart?” Buck puts the coffee mug down and readjusts himself so the older man can sit on the couch. “I know that you really wanted me to be able to spend Christmas with you and the 118 but I have to work for the holidays. I’ll try and talk with Commander Hicks and see if I can at least get Christmas day off but I don’t wanna get your hopes up about it.” Tommy leans back against the younger man sitting behind him and wonders how he almost let himself lose this about 6 months ago. It’s honestly okay if you can’t, it’s not like I’ll be alone, and besides, you’ll be able to come home to me on Christmas night so I’ll celebrate with you then.” Tommy remembers the talk that he had with Mumford a few hours ago on this topic and decides to take a chance and ask Evan about it. “The LAPD has this yearly holiday fundraiser thing which is why I’ll be working for the holidays this year, we’re able to bring a plus 1 if we have one and I was wondering if you’d be mine.” Tommy turns his head to look his boyfriend in the eyes so he knows that he’s being serious. “I’d be meeting your team if I said yes.” Evan isn’t asking but letting the fact sink in slowly, Tommy is aware of this and gives Evan the time that he needs, which is odd given that Evan had done the same thing 6 months ago. “You’d be meeting the only true family that I have.” Tommy lets Evan process the request but still panics about if he’ll say yes or no. “Are you sure that you want to do this?” Tommy smiles at the younger man and places a hand on top of the hand that is still on his shoulder. “Completely.” “Then yes, I will be your plus one to this LAPD event.” Tommy gets giddy like he never has before and feels really childish but also doesn’t care all that much about it for the first time in his life.

And also giving a friendly nudge

Buck can’t remember the last time he was this nervous about a first date, glad that he has his friend on the phone and his best friend sitting on his bed. “You are overthinking this outfit, Buck. I get that this is your first date with Tommy since he left you, but you need to calm down or I’m going to reach through our phones and smack you across the face.” Buck playfully glares at the blurry person on his phone, T.K. falling over after getting smacked across the head by Carlos. “Thanks so much for the help, T.K.” Buck rolls his eyes while buttoning up the shirt that T.K. let him use, given that it was the shirt that he wore on his second date with Carlos. “Seriously though, thank you for letting me use this shirt.” Buck smiles at T.K. as he readjusts himself on his couch and sends a playful glare towards his boyfriend. Buck finally leaves the house and heads to the cafe where he had asked Tommy to meet him at for their first date (again) and orders their coffee’s. Buck looks around the open cafe for the sergeant and slightly panics when he doesn’t see him, thinking that Tommy will never show up.

[freneticfloetry]

I'm trying very hard not to make this split snippet thing A Thing, but it's difficult when your ADHD brain won't settle. So it's yet another dual fandom day, this one dedicated to Lim, because she has made me unspeakably happy with Knave-verse happenings.

Shocking no one, neither of these is actually seven sentences.

Thanks to @carlos-in-glasses @heartstringsduet @strandnreyes @welcometololaland @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @bonheur-cafe @lemonlyman-dotcom and @liminalmemories21 for the tags.

First up, yet another slice of esta noche (which is so close to being done, damn adulting and my fickle muse):

TK takes his fiancé’s face between both palms and pulls him in until their foreheads knock together. “It’ll be okay,” he says softly, hoping Carlos can hear all the ways that he means it. “Now get out of here. The sooner you handle whatever this is, the sooner you can come back home.” They hang there for a moment, one with eyes wide open and the other’s sweetly shut, and there’s something suspended in the scant space between them, something precious and fragile and sacred. He’s close enough to count Carlos’ eyelashes. It’s still too soon when Carlos starts to move — brings his free hand up to squeeze TK’s hip, tips his head back to press his lips to TK’s temple. “I’ll text you.” “You better.” Throat burning, TK lets go. He musters up another smile, curls his fingers into fists and shoves them in the pockets of his sweats, just to keep himself from reaching out again. “Bye, baby.”

And once again, a wild FirstPrince appears:

“I’ve never actually… done this before?” Henry raises an eyebrow, and Alex rushes ahead with more words, as he is forever wont to do. “I want to. In case that wasn't clear. Like, fuck, I’m gonna enjoy the shit out of this. I just, you know… need you to tell me if it sucks.” His grip tightens almost involuntarily, at odds with the wide-open earnestness on his face, and Henry sucks in a breath and fists both hands in the sheets. By his estimation, there's enough resolve left in him to either respond in a way that's calm and collected or refrain from coming in his pants, but not nearly enough to do both. “Alex,” he says, hanging on by a thread despite the fact that he has literally dreamt about this, “I cannot stress enough what a virtual impossibility that is. The mere act of you breathing in the general vicinity has already made my top three.” Alex blinks, struck seemingly silent for once in his life. Then he grins, slow and wide and bright as the sun, even as his eyes eclipse. “Pretty sure I can do better than breathe on it,” he drawls, “but hey, if that’s what you’re into, sweetheart.”

Tagging in @never-blooms @paperstorm @reyesstrand @rmd-writes @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @ladytessa74 @herefortarlos @three-drink-amy @walkinginland @orchidscript @carlos-tk @nancys-braids @whatsintheboxmh and @alrightbuckaroo !

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

Grief Week

Thank you for the tag @lemonlyman-dotcom !

1. Which character death in 911 Lone Star hit you the hardest?

While all the mcd’s hit me equally hard like, as in being shocked and missing the characters and feeling for the ones left behind, I find the depiction and story attached to Charles’ death to be the most devastating. It’s so realistic, so unexpected. The way she’s happy, everything is going well, they have this wonderful life so many good things and years ahead and there was no warning like.. she just comes home to the love of her life gone, having died while folding laundry. The way she wishes so deeply she would have come home an hour earlier even though it likely wouldn’t have changed anything. The way that episode and the next deals so realistically with the shock and denial. The way she acts so practical and cool in the moment only to be alone with it and deny both the reality of it and help afterwards because she hasn’t had time to process it or even understand let alone accept the reality yet. It’s just. So resonating and real and maybe for that reason so devastating. I’m getting sad now writing about it 😭

2. What is your favorite grief-related moment in the show?

Hm, again, there are many! I’ll go with these two: TK saying ‘I could go for some Chinese food’ after the near plane-crash. He spends this whole episode processing, being in his head and drowning, in the past, in the present - not being present himself. And then his head clears up.. and what he wants the most is to be in the grief with his dad who he’s sharing it with and Carlos who cares so deeply for him - both people that he’s been drawing away from since getting the news.

While going through grief myself, I had a therapist tell me that grief is something we flow in and out of - we can’t stand to be constantly drowning. That’s why gathering over food and even sometimes sharing laughter and being with people in a way that can seem resembling to what we do when we celebrate things is ingrained in the traditions around somebody dying. For me and my friends it was exactly that (and still is) - we gathered around dinner, food, drinks, sleepovers, alternating between crying and laughing and being angry and in denial and then reminiscing. - I often imagine the three of them going back to Owen’s place and eating heaps of Chinese food, in quiet, talking, laughing, crying, and remembering. Carlos getting to be by TK’s side for that, helping out with stuff and comforting him and just seeing TK be back with him and present would ease his mind and TK might finally be able to let Carlos comfort him. Carlos driving them home late at night it them staying over in one of the rooms.

One moment I also really love is when Owen is in that building when it collapses in season 3 and hallucinates a member of his old crew and how their conversation leads Owen to realize and even after act on the fact that he hasn’t let himself grieve and move on, that he’s holding on to survivor’s guilt to a degree that’s self destructive.

3. Do you think there will be a character death in season 5? If so, any guesses about who it might be?

I am naively hoping for no major character deaths this season 🙃

4. Which living character’s death would destroy you the most?

I feel like all of the possible deaths (at least major characters) at this point to me is unmentionable, I just can’t even speculate haha I would be too destroyed and shocked and hurt🫣 saying who might then destroy me the least is just mean and evil and unnecessary so I also don’t have any real answer to this question, sorry!

5. Which character’s childhood trauma do you think shaped them the most?

I definitely think they all were very shaped by their childhood! Of course we don’t for sure the ones that we haven’t gotten as much background on, like Nancy and Tommy and to a large degree, Paul. Out of the ones we have, there’s of course Owen, who I think was very directly affected by not being able to save his brother and feeling guilt from that. Definitely Both Judd and Marjan, who lost a friend and felt the guilt over that which made them become firefighters. Where for Judd I feel like he wanted to do good and kind of atone, for Marjan I also think that defying people’s expectations and being ‘loud and proud’ was a way to honor her friend telling her that she should be that. I think it’s so cool and beautiful she goes from literally being called mouse to being who she is now!! But, there is also Mateo, who again out of guilt (there is a lot of survivor’s guilt in this show huh? Just realizing😅) and gratitude toward his cousin taking the fall for him, cleans up his act and tries to do better for himself and his family!

Since this is at the 11th hour I’ll just leave this an Open Tag !

[paperstorm]

I was tagged by @carlos-in-glasses @thisbuildinghasfeelings @heartstringsduet @sznofthesticks @strandnreyes @alrightbuckaroo @jesuisici33 @orchidscript @bonheur-cafe @whatsintheboxmh and @birdclowns, thanks loves you're in the queue.

Season 3 missing moments are close I promise!

“Do you think he’s gonna wake up?” he asks. He doesn’t mean to; it slips out before he can stop it.

“Yes,” Nancy says immediately. “He’s the stubbornist little shit I’ve ever met in my life, death has got another thing coming if it thinks it can take TK Strand before he’s ready.”

Carlos can’t tell whether she’s being honest, or whether she’s putting on a show for his benefit. Or maybe for her own. Carlos is no stranger to lying to himself almost successfully.

“You know, I meant it, when I said I don’t know why he broke your heart. He never told me why you split up. I asked about a thousand times but he wouldn’t say.”

Carlos frowns. He isn’t sure what to make of that.

“Was it his fault?” Nancy asks. “Is that why he wouldn’t tell me?”

“I don’t know whose fault it was,” Carlos admits. “He wouldn’t talk to me. We had a stupid argument and … maybe I could’ve fixed it if he’d just let me, but he didn’t. He left and told me to move out of his dad’s place and to stop calling.”

“And did you? Stop calling?”

“He asked me to,” Carlos says.

“Hm.”

Carlos turns his head. “Hm?” “Do you think the two of you are supposed to be together? That you were meant to find each other?”

“I did,” Carlos says, swallowing the pain of that over a lump in his throat. “Now, I’m not so sure.”

“So, when he wakes up, this could turn into a pretty good opportunity. He’s in a hospital bed, he can’t run away. So you can sit in there with him and make him talk to you.”

“I’m not making him do anything he doesn’t want to do.”

“Why the hell not?” Nancy demands. “I love him like a brother but it’s not all about him. If you’ve got shit to say, you’re allowed to say it.”

Carlos shrugs and slides down a little further in his chair. “If he doesn’t want me, I’m not … he broke up with me. I’m not gonna beg him to take me back.”

“I didn’t say beg him to take you back.”

“What, then?”

Nancy licks her lips. She slides down too, feet planted on the floor and arms crossed over her stomach. She looks at him and one corner of her mouth curves into an understanding smile. “He’s the stubbornist shit, like I said. Maybe he wanted you to fight for him, and you didn’t.”

Carlos opens his mouth, stumbles over his words as he protests, “That isn’t fair.”

“Didn’t say it was fair,” Nancy agrees with a shrug. “But sometimes shit isn’t fair. If both of you are too prideful to blink first, nothing’s ever going to get fixed, is it? Maybe someone just has to bite the bullet, and if it ends with both of you getting the man you love back, does it really matter whether it was fair?”

Carlos squeezes his molars together. She isn’t wrong, necessarily, but that doesn’t mean he’s enjoying hearing it.

“It seems to me,” Nancy muses, “like you’ve already blinked, just by being here.”

“You asked me to come,” he mumbles. “Told me TK wanted me here.”

“I didn’t drag you in by your ear. You don’t always have to do what other people ask, you could’ve told me to tell him to go kick rocks. You’re here because you wanted to be here. Right?”

Sighing, Carlos rubs his hands over his face. In a voice that trembles, he admits, “I love him. I never stopped loving him.”

“He loves you back,” Nancy insists. “Trust me, okay? I’m not wrong about this.”

Tags below the cut!

Tagging @theghostofashton @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @birdclowns @reyesstrand @goodways @lightningboltreader @mooshkat @liminalmemories21 @inkweedandlizards @reasonandfaithinharmony @thebumblecee @never-blooms@freneticfloetry @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @tarlosluvr

[xolliwritez]

congrats on passing 100 followers! you deserve that and more <3 since it’s 3 requests per person, i’m gonna make 2 which i hope is ok :)

i’d like to request some ler xiao x lee reader, any trope you want, i need some ler xiao in my life </3 and a lee barbatos x ler reader! yes very self indulgent requests but hey, you know me :D

thanks in advance and take care <333

Let The Stars Guide You || Genshin Tk Fic

A/N: SINNER DEAR!! Xiao is so baby girl like omfggg, Barbatos will be done in the next post, but for now, here's the demon killer himself - Alatus!

Summary: You're feeling lost in your journey, luckily, you have the most wonderful Yaksha to cheer you up.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

You were currently sitting atop the Wangshu Inn, taking in the beautiful evening sky before you, you were contempt to keep moving, to find your sister/brother at long last, but hope was beginning to diminish inside you. The once strong flames of a dragon turned into spits of ash, the fire trying desperately to rebuild itself to no avail, and that residing to you almost breaking down right then and there.

You bit your tongue to hold back tears, blinking repeatedly and looking upwards to stop any tears that threatened to pour out. You were breaking, and rather fast at that.

"Y/N?" A voice came from behind, making you jolt in surprise, but once you turned, you calmed as you saw the soft gaze of the demon conqueror infront of you, looking up at you in obvious worry, despite it only showing in his eye's. "Are you, crying?" He asked, but you were quick to respond. "No, no, I'm not! They're.. tears of joy! I'm one step closer, you know?" You respond hastily, his bright amber brown eye's staring into your teary E/C one's.

"I don't believe you." He said, he didn't intend for it to sound harsh, and you knew that, as he then holds out his arm's, surprising you a bit- no, alot. "I.. see mortals do this to one another all the time, it's okay if you don't-" You cut him off, arm's wrapping around his petite structure, causing the both of you to relax in one another's hold, his face scrunching in worry as he felt tears dampening his shoulder, yet he didn't mind it coming from you, as he just sat there, keeping eachother in close proximity. He wasn't one for giving affection, but if it meant cheering you up, he'd try absolutely anything to your cravings.

A few minutes of silence passed by, you, feeling tired from the repeated sobbing, and Xiao, who was just rubbing your back rather oddly, but you didn't mind that, you were glad that he was trying new thing's. "Now." You turn towards him, as his eye's show pity, "Tell me, Y/N, what's going on. And don't you dare attempt to lie to me." He said, running his finger's through your H/C locks, the other hand used to intertwine eachothers finger's.

At that moment, you told him the entire story, he listened to you, nodding and humming, trying to show you he was listening, which made you glad. "I see.. I'm not the best at words, Y/N, but.. If you feel like that, stop your journey for a bit, mental health comes first." He said, caressing the cheek that leaned against his small hand, you could feel the rough texture of his hands under the gloves, but either way, attention was attention.

Your senses spiked as soon as you felt a poke to your abdomen, cheeks flush as Y/N stared down at Xiao hand, that dared to prod against the soft surface. He noticed your reaction and opted to take his hand away, surprised as you took his wrists and placed his hands against your side's, making his entire face turn red at that movement alone, causing yourself to chuckle at his innocence.

"Are you sure, Y/N? I know you like me tickling you, but.. are you sure about now?" He asked, fingers twitching out of excitement as you jerk and smile, giving him a shy nod of acceptance, as he then resumes. His left hand gently squeezed at the side stuck in his touch, making you jerk away before returning into his touch, his right hand gently raking his fingertips over your stomach, making you quiver and jolt.

"X-Xiahahao!" You call out, peaking his interests, he stopped quickly, which only made you whine. You knew he was only trying to look out for you, as you smile as he looks lovingly into your eye's, "Gosh.. I'm so lucky." You speak out loud, making his entirely oake body flush red, hiding his face behind his forearm, his free hand now gently clawing at your ribs, quickly alternating to each side whenever you tried to protect one side.

"Y-You flirt.." He groans, finally bringing his other hand down to squeeze at the divets of your hip, making you buck slightly. "Aha!? Xiahahao!" No response, just more tickling, "I'm sohohorry!" Still no response, only a slight blush to his ears and nose, "You're juhust too cuhuhute not to tehease!" You giggle out, as he stopped all his movements, instead, laying ontop of you, head head rested against your heart, feeling your heart beat beneath him, noticing how rapid it was going. "Your heart only beats this fast around me." He said, before taking your hand, he kissed the back of your hand then trailed up, making you giggle until you screamed as he placed a raspberry against your neck.

"AHAH!? I'M SOHORRY!" You quickly bark out, swearing you heard him chuckle, as he kept up his ticklish attack. "I SUBMIHIT! SUBMIHIHIHIT!" Your head throws back, making you snort as he nuzzled he's hair under your chin, before finally stopping, cuddling against you.

You take a few minutes to recover, and as you do, he picks you up in his arm's, touching foreheads. "Come on, I'll let you rest."

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

getting past the wounds of love “What are you smiling about?” Paul asks with a raised eyebrow in the rear view mirror. “Got a text from Officer Hotstuff?”

“Shut up,” TK says with a roll of his eyes as Paul and Marjan snicker in the front seat.

“Come on, Paul, it’s not even like that.”

“Oh yeah?” Paul teases as he puts the car in gear. “It looked pretty ‘like that’ the other night. You shoulda seen them, Marj. TK was grinding on that sweet, straitlaced boy so hard I thought we’d have to use the jaws of life to separate them. Officer Dreamboat was looking at TK with those giant heart eyes. He’s already in love.”

“Oh my god,” TK whines. “He is not. We’re not even dating. We’re just …hanging out”

“Sure, whatever you say dude. I mean, I’ve never dry humped someone I’m ‘hanging out’ with in the middle of a club, but good for you I guess.”

love in a series of bursts & inches Carlos has always seen him, flaws and all, as a whole person. He remembers his life back in New York, when he was fresh out of rehab and trying to figure out the kind of person he wanted to be now that he was sober. He was clean but he felt haggard and beaten down, his mind was warped, full of voices telling him he’d burned all his bridges, that he’d ruined any chance of a fulfilling life, of ever finding people who wanted to share in his life. He was unlovable, unreliable and most certainly undatable.

He thought he’d left any chance he had at a future back in that drug den, on a dirty slab of cardboard littered with discarded rubber ties and dirty needles. […]

But when he met Carlos on the side of a highway under glistening streetlights with a steady stream of sideways rain pelting their faces, he didn’t see TK as broken. Carlos didn’t look at him, clad in his hoodies, walls built up a mile high, bristling at the mere thought of someone getting close enough to hurt him, and see him as damaged goods. He saw him for the whole person he was, and everything he could be.

Why Do You Think I Ran Carlos has cataloged all of TK’s laughs; his delighted giggle, the small under-his-breath snort when he’s laughing at his own joke, the soft little gasping chuckle that only comes out during sex. The laugh TK lets out right now is Carlos’s favorite, the one where he scrunches his eyes and shows his teeth. The one he reserves just for Carlos.

Call Me If You Get Lost “TK? Carlos?” she says behind gritted teeth, “What the hell?”

“Hey Nance,” Carlos says as TK pushes past her into the room. A frantic movement to his left captures his attention, and he turns to see Mateo flailing around on the floor, pulling his boxers out from under the nightstand.

“What is this?” TK cries at the same time Nancy swings around and shrieks.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

“Whoa…” Carlos reacts as he enters the room.

“What is he doing here?” TK asks with a finger pointing in Mateo’s direction, he feels like he’s going into shock himself.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Nancy’s still shouting. She rounds the bed and grabs a sweater from a chair, hastily pulling it over her head.

“It looks an awful lot like you’re having a clandestine affair with Mateo,” Carlos helpfully chimes in. He points to the unmade bed, “Exhibit A!”

Carlos turns to TK with a small smug smile and whispers, “See, I told you I was good at this.”

“Damn, babe,” TK preens, “Hot and smart. You really should take the detective’s exam. You would totally crush it.”

Como Te Quiero Yo (how I love you) On the morning of the third day of their honeymoon, TK is now regretting the fact that their parents put them up in the honeymoon suite. While it is nice […] all the walls are clear glass. Sexy last night when TK tempted Carlos into the shower. Not so much right now, when Carlos has a clear straight view of him where he’s sitting, hunched over in pain on the toilet.

“TK?” He calls from the bedroom, face scrunched in concern. His voice comes muffled through the glass walls, “Babe, are you okay?”

“Don’t look at me!”

“Okay, I mean… It’s kind of hard not to.”

“Carlos, I swear to god.” TK shouts, his own voice echoing off the tiles. He tells himself it’s to be heard, but his volume is just as much fueled by embarrassed desperation.

“Okay,” Carlos says. And if TK didn’t know any better, he might detect a hint of amusement in his voice. But he knows his husband isn’t a stupid man. He doesn’t have a death wish. So there is no laughter in this hotel room.

“Umm, what do you want me to do?” Carlos asks again, eyes steadily trained on the wall on the other side of the room.

—and—

“I’m sorry you’re sick, babe,” Carlos says, gently guiding him towards the bed. When TK whines in response he says, “and I’m sorry I laughed at you this morning.”

“Mean.”

“I’m always gonna laugh when you get the gurgle guts.”

“Wow, Carlos,” he whines, laying back on the bed and covering his face with a hand. “You should have included that in your vows. ‘I vow to be the caretaker of your wild heart... And to laugh at you when you’re dying from dysentery.’”

“What is this, the Oregon Trail?”

“Ahh! Carlos!”

All Your Colors Make Me Feel Alive “Carlos it’s,” TK stutters, “it’s okay now. I don’t feel that way now. But it’s always gonna be there. I might feel that way again.” He stops and bites his lip, runs a hand across his eyes. “I have a better support system now. I have Marj and Nance, I have you. I have resources. But that doesn’t mean it won’t ever get that bad again.”

Carlos nods, rubbing the back of TK’s head but not attempting to interrupt.

“I don’t expect you to wanna stick around, to want to deal with that.”

“Baby,” Carlos says quietly, fighting to keep his voice even, “what do you mean?”

“I know—” TK sniffs, running a sleeve-covered hand over his face, “I know I’m not easy.”

“I don’t need you to be easy, TK,” he puts a hand under TK’s chin to tilt his head up. Needs to be sure he hears this. “Hey, look at me.” When TK lifts his eyes slightly to make eye contact he continues. “I just need you to be alive. Okay, baby? Whatever you need.”

Thank you for the tags @filet-o-feelings @bonheur-cafe @sznofthesticks @freneticfloetry @vineofroses @ladytessa74 and pretending like @liminalmemories21 tagged me 🥰

Tagging @nancygillianmvp @chicgeekgirl89 @welcometololaland @carlos-in-glasses @thisbuildinghasfeelings @paperstorm @thebumblecee @reyesstrand @lightningboltreader @never-blooms @decafdino @your-catfish-friend @literateowl @tinyluminaryzombie @herefortarlos @doublel27 @strandnreyes @chaotictarlos and OPEN TAG 🏷️

[rainbowdaisy13]

Hey Rainbow, I'm kind of a new Kaylor. I knew of their existence back in 2016, but I wasn't part of this corner of Tumblr. It's only in the last few months that I've really become interested in Taylor's lyrics and the Kaylor storyline. The idea that she's closeted and struggling, and the beautiful and romantic tapestry of her lyrics that speak of a truly beautiful love story that the public doesn't really know about, these are the things that drew me to Taylor and by extension Kaylor. I know that the stuff with TK is PR. Dare I say it's the loudest and most obvious PR she's ever done. I know this, but it's actually getting painful to see it. I guess it's painful to see such a smart, articulate, and worldly woman be so happy in the company of the frattiest of frat bros. Or maybe it's hard to see her associate with them. Idk. I'm not here to attack her or anyone, but I guess I'm coming to you for a pep talk? I know this doesn't make me a good fan, but I'm not sure I'd like TS as much if I didn't think she was a closeted queer woman. I imagine I should take a break, but I fear that if everyone does that, will the Kaylor corner disappear? Will the comfort we find in Gaylor evaporate? I swear I'm a grown adult with a robust and fulfilling real life, but damn...this is getting to me.

Anyway, sorry for the novel. I hope it's not too annoying. You're so steadfast of a fan, and it seemed like you'd be the best to reach out to for support, ha.

First, never apologize!! Second welcome to Kaylor tumblr! Tis not for the faint of heart!

This is all I can give you in the way of a pep talk—I fully believe Taylor is a queer woman and that she’s been telling us that through art her since the very beginning. I also believe her and Karlie are in a long term secret relationship that they are choosing to keep hidden through Bearding and Lavender marriage for whatever reasons they have—and I’m sure there’s a ton of reasons that they have deemed good enough

As far as being a bad fan, absolutely not! I did not give a crap about Taylor until Rep. I knew of her songs but something about her always felt off to me, and disingenuous. Someone mentioned the word Kaylor and I went down the tumblr rabbithole of TTB and BOOM I was hooked. Taylor as a closeted queer artist made sooooo much sense to me as I always felt something was missing about her as a person, and suddenly here was this insane amount of evidence that only kept growing! It’s not like I joined during Rep and had to only look in the past, she continues to keep queer signaling in every aspect of her life. Thats a long way to say, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with loving Taylor for who she actually is—that doesn’t make you a bad fan for seeing her truth and loving her for it

As far as Kaylor tumblr disappearing, in the last 7 years I’ve been here, my follower count only grows. SO many people lurk in this space. There will always be some of us here documenting and discussing while others of us take breaks. We are pretty good about holding down the fort for each other in times of stress

Come and go as you need to, but us battle hardened OGs shall remain until she stops signaling through her art that she wants us to know the truth

[writingamarie]

for @sketchyherpderp

🌊 the only easy day (3 part buddie. angst. hurt. hea)

“I don’t want them here, Maddie.” “They’re our parents, they should be here, you've been seriously close to dying twice in half a year, Evan! They should be here!” But he didn’t need them. Whether or not good parents would be at his bedside didn’t matter to him. He’d come to terms with the parents –or lack there of– that he had when he was twelve. He hadn’t needed them then, and he didn’t need them now. He managed to barely flinch as she called out his name. It hadn’t been said with any hate, he knew that but he couldn’t help the way his mind traveled. Evan, you really shouldn’t cause problems. Evan, this isn’t the time for your theatrics. This really is all you’re– He shoved the thoughts back down and did his best to lock the stupid mental box that he tried to keep all the bad childhood memories in. He’d liked the idea of Pandora’s box when he’d been younger. It had seemed like a perfect representation of how he felt. All the bad shit in one spot locked away, but if it ever escaped there would always be Hope left at the bottom.

🐝 the pull of us (post lawsuit, buck backstory divergence, buddie, tarlos, buck/tk)

Buck had never had a best friend before Tyler so he wasn’t sure if it was normal to go so long without actually seeing each other and fall right back into how it felt the last time they had –but it felt normal enough for him. They texted and talked all the time, Buck never felt like he lost Tyler from his life even if they hadn’t seen each other in person in years. There was a warmth that had filled his chest and the smile that stretched across his face actually hurt. It was the first time he remembered being genuinely happy since before he’d been injured. “You look good.” Tyler smirked, “And you look like a brick house.”

🫧 ruined (post lawsuit, dark, dead dove, why did i use buck to work through trauma?)

“Sorry, man, I was zoned out.” “I get it. Feel like middle of the night runs usually mean shit’s going on in your head, right?” The guy smiled at him and Buck realized it had been weeks since someone genuinely smiled at him. Sure there were random strangers on the street that gave those half smiles that were considered polite when they passed someone. But Buck hadn’t thought about just how alone he had gotten since the lawsuit started. “Yeah, sorry, I’ve got a big thing later. Should still watch where I’m running.” Buck didn’t want to think about what would happen when he went to his meeting with Chase that morning. He’d be able to see the team again and he hoped that if he could just explain his side they would finally understand.

link to another the only easy day snippet

link to another the only easy day snippet

link to another the only easy day snippet

link to another the pull of us snippet

link to another the pull of us snippet

link to another ruined snippet

link to og emoji wip game post