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jinkoh · 4 months

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changmin x reader

part of my soulmate series

tags: soulmate au (sharing bruises), smut - mdni, enemies to ?, possessive!changmin, beginning seems angsty but it's rlly just smut lol, fingering & oral (r!receiving), piv sex, edging, (overstimulation), dacryphilia, sliiight choking, praise; warnings: alcohol consumption, no pronouns but reader has a vagina, petnames: babydoll, doll

wc: 3.3k

a/n: i thought all parts of this series would be really angsty but somehow this one accidentally became pure filth instead 🤡 enjoy 🤡 ((also i don't usually write things this explicit so pls bear with me))

series masterlist | tbz masterlist

��I think I want to break up.”

“What?” You stared at your boyfriend in utter confusion, unable to grasp what he was saying. For all you knew it’d been going great.

“I just can’t do it anymore. I mean you can’t really expect me to be okay with that, right?” His gaze dropped to your neck and you self consciously covered it with your hand. “At first I thought I could get over it, but I can’t help feeling disgusted.”

“Disgusted?!”

“It’s just—I know he didn’t technically leave those hickeys, but it still feels like he did and frankly, it leaves a gross after taste. It almost makes me feel dirty to touch you.”

You looked at him in exasperation. “It makes you feel dirty?” Sure, it wasn’t ideal to have someone else’s hickeys appear on your lover’s neck, but it wasn’t like anyone had actually touched you. It was just silly bruises, marks that your soulmate had gotten and that transferred onto your skin. It had nothing to do with you. Why couldn’t your boyfriend understand that?

“I’m sorry, y/n. I just can’t.” He shrugged. “But you still have your soulmate, right? It might just work out for you.”

And with that, he left you. You couldn’t even cry about it because all you felt was sizzling anger. You still had your soulmate? Seriously? How could he say that when your soulmate was clearly getting it on with other people? But of course, your boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, didn’t know the whole truth, maybe he would have acted differently then. Because you already knew who your soulmate was and there was no way things were going to work out between the two of you. Not when the reason you found out in the first place was a hickey left on his skin, not when he kept getting new ones even after you told him it bothered you. Hell, he probably even encouraged his partners to leave a mark just to get under your skin. Or on your skin, you supposed. No, it was never going to work out between you and Ji Changmin, because there was not even the slightest bit of affection you held for him, and if you could you would cut this connection fate had forced upon you.

But you couldn’t so you did the next best thing: Vent your anger.

Changmin didn’t seem very impressed though, when you confronted him after a shared lecture. He simply shrugged, before shoving his things into his bag.

“The trash carries itself out,” he said nonchalantly.

“As if you hadn’t played a major part in all of this. The trash didn’t carry itself out. You basically showed him to the door.”

“At least you’re admitting that he was trash,” Changmin smiled self satisfied and you hated that you got caught in his trap. He didn’t give you time to argue though before he continued, “I’m just saying if he actually loved you, he would have stayed, marks be damned. It’s not like you cheated on him, so what reason was there for him to leave? Unless of course, he was never serious in the first place.”

It was so unnecessarily mean of him to say. But what made it worse was that you couldn’t even tell if he had a point or not and you weren’t even sure how to feel about it if he did. Because at the end of the day, did you actually want your ex-boyfriend to be serious about you? Had you been serious about him? You didn’t know.

“You’re taking it too far,” you pressed out, at a loss of what else to say and unwilling to address the uncomfortable mix of emotions plaguing you. “Don’t you care about how I’m feeling at all?”

“It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that you don’t seem all that heartbroken. But of course,” A small grin tugged on his lips and he opened his arms. “You’re always welcome to cry into my chest if you’re in need of comfort.”

“Fuck you, Changmin.” You turned to leave, unwilling to give him another second of your attention. He didn’t seem particularly rattled.

“You know I have others who do the job,” he yelled after you, his tone light and cheerful. Somehow he always seemed to be in the best possible mood whenever you confronted him about things like this. A small voice at the back of your mind whispered that perhaps, it would be better to just stop confronting him then. Surely this was only so fun to him because you never failed to give him a good reaction. You knew that so well, and yet you could never help yourself.

When you told your friend Hyunjae about the break up, he insisted he had just the right thing to cheer you up: a party on the weekend that one of his frat guy friends had invited him to. That usually wasn’t really your crowd and Hyunjae knew that well. But he also knew you needed distraction and a place to let off some steam so he wasn’t surprised when you agreed to tag along. It seemed to be working well, your mood drastically improving with the music and games and dancing, and admittedly also the alcohol. But then, while you were looking for Hyunjae in the living room to convince him to team up with you for beer pong, your gaze fell onto someone else: Changmin. He was standing at the other end of the room, leaning against the wall and very busy with some girl. She had her hands in his hair, clinging onto him almost desperately. Meanwhile his arms were loosely resting around her waist and something about it seemed so haughty, as if he was just indulging her and her desire, kissing her because she was available and not because it needed to be her. It made you feel gross.

You knew you needed to look away, or else he was bound to notice your staring, but you just couldn’t. The way he was entangled with her made your blood boil. How could he keep having his fun like this while you were left all alone just because of him? It was infuriating and even more infuriating was his expression when he looked up and met your gaze. For a second there was surprise there, breaking the kiss to look at you with wide eyes. But then he grinned, tilting his head as if to ask what you were looking at and even though you hated everything about it, it also filled you with a strange heat. You glared back at him, trying your best to hide the unwanted feeling in your guts, until his gaze flickered to your neck. He looked smug. You noticed then, that his hook-up had seamlessly moved on to his neck, probably sucking and nibbling on his skin. You instinctively slapped your hand over your neck to cover up before rushing out to find a bathroom, your head flushed with heat. When you reached the bathroom you slammed the door behind you. Without bothering to lock up, you stormed to the mirror to examine your neck—and find it empty and clean, free of any marks. It didn’t make sense. You were sure, he’d looked at your neck, and why would he if not because of a hickey?

“Disappointed?” a voice suddenly sounded from the doorway.

You already knew it was Changmin, even before seeing him through the mirror’s reflection. You turned around to him with a glare. “You’re supposed to knock before coming in. The door was closed for a reason.”

“Right, sorry,” He chuckled, lightly knocking against the door frame. “Can I come in?”

“No!”

He stepped in anyway, pulling the door shut behind him. “Should have locked the door then if you really didn’t want me to come in,” he said with a grin and you heard the lock click as he turned it. You felt your breathing hitch with a weird sense of anticipation that you tried your best to ignore.

“I wouldn’t have to, if you had some basic manners.”

Changmin smiled as he slowly came closer. You instinctively backed away, but just a single step already had you bumping into the sink. He came to a halt right in front of you, only inches between the two of you. “Maybe you have to teach me some,” he suggested in a whisper that made a shiver run down your spine.

“Well, first of all,” you started, but it was hard to focus with his intense gaze on you.

“First of all?”

“Knock before coming into the bathroom.”

“Noted,” his eyes wandered over your face as if he was just going to devour you whole and you wondered if he was listening to you at all. “What else?”

“Don’t—don’t let your hook ups leave hickeys anymore.”

“Mhm,” he hummed, a thoughtful frown on his face. “That poses a bit of a challenge. You see, I just love to see you all marked up.”

You knew you should be feeling angry at him for making you go through hell for his own entertainment. It was hypocritical and cruel how he had all the fun he had with who knows who, while simultaneously trying to make it impossible for you to be with someone. So, of course you should be feeling angry. And yet, strangely, his words made your skin flush with heat, the thought that he wanted to mark you more enticing than it should have been.

“Find another way then,” you breathed more than you really said it.

He looked at you for a long second. “Should I?”

You didn’t reply, but the way you held his gaze without shying away gave him all the answer he needed. He leaned in, and you thought he would kiss you, but instead his lips grazed your neck, his ticklish breath leaving goosebumps in its wake. His mouth barely even ghosted over your skin before he suddenly bit down, making a gasp escape your lips. As if to soothe you, he pecked the spot right after, sweet gentle kisses against the barely bruised skin. Then he pulled away and admired his work for a moment.

“So pretty,” he said with a satisfied smile. When he tilted his head to look at you, you noticed the small red mark on his neck, a shadow of the bruise he’d just given you a second ago. For some reason it filled you with a sense of accomplishment that for once he was the one wearing your mark, even if he was the one who’d left it on you first. You absentmindedly lifted your hand and traced the spot with your fingertips.

“Isn’t it?” He asked.

At his words you snapped out of it, realizing how easily you’d surrendered yourself to him. You flinched away and averted your gaze. “Not particularly.”

“Hm,” he chuckled. “Liar.”

His hands found your hips to turn you around, making you look at your own reflection. He brushed your hair out of the way before his fingers traced the mark he left. You couldn’t quite explain, but somehow it looked different from the ones you had before. Maybe because this one was real, an actual bruise on your skin and not just the traces someone else had left.

“You like it too, don’t you?”

He leaned in again and you watched through the mirror as his lips brushed over your skin again. Maybe you should have pushed him away, but instead you tilted your head to give him access, as he left another mark on you. You couldn’t take your eyes off the way he seemed to devour you whole, and the way he met your gaze through the mirror made shivers run down your spine.

“So pretty,” he whispered again. His hands were back on your hips, pulling you into him. “What do you say we take this elsewhere, hm?”

You swallowed thickly at the feeling of him against you, the implications making the air feel heavy. “Yeah. Okay,” you agreed, turning around in his arms to face him directly. “Let’s leave.”

His grin was so utterly self satisfied, like the cat who got the cream, but you couldn’t even feel pissed about it, not when his thumb grazing the skin beneath your shirt made you feel so impatient for more.

“Okay, let’s leave,” he repeated your words before leaning down to brush his lips against yours in a slow kiss that made you feel weak in the knees. Then he reached for your hand, pulling you with him.

Back at his place Changmin didn’t waste any time on small talk or offering drinks. Instead you found yourself falling onto his mattress, his shirt and most of your clothes discarded on the floor not even a minute after walking in. Changmin was hovering above you, a hungry gleam in his eyes.

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot,” he said, his hands roaming over your body. “Have you?”

“No,” you said, your voice breathy from the ticklish feeling of his fingers against your skin.

“Is that so?” He tilted his head. “Well, after I’m done, you’ll be unable to think of anything else.”

You wanted to make a sassy comeback, tell him that you doubted he could change your opinion of him so drastically just because you were giving in this one time. But then his lips were back on your neck and his fingers were dipping into your embarrassingly wet panties and the only sound that came out of your mouth was a gasp. It was unfair how easily he rendered you speechless, your brain becoming muddled the second he touched you.

“See?” Changmin grinned, as one of his fingers slowly pushed into you. “You already can’t think of anything else.”

Your hands clung to his shoulders, when he started moving, quickly finding the right angle. You didn’t want to think about how many girls he must have been with before this to make moans fall from your lips this easily. “Shut up already,” you whimpered.

“Should I use my mouth for something else then?” He asked, pulling his hand out of your panties and licking the wet off his fingers. You felt your skin burn with need and desire, and you almost instinctively opened your legs a little more, making him chuckle.

“I’ll take that as a yes, hm?” He leaned down to kiss you, making you taste yourself on his tongue, before he pulled away again and letting his lips wander further down. His fingers hooked underneath your panties, pulling them down your legs and letting them fall to the floor. He didn’t leave you exposed for long though, his mouth taking their place instead. The moan you let out when his tongue flicked over your clit was straight up pornographic and you felt him grin against your skin. “So needy,” he hummed, the vibrations making you shiver, before his tongue went back to work.

He had you whimpering and shivering beneath him embarrassingly fast, his tongue and lips and hands moving just the right way to make that familiar knot build up within you. Before you could come though, he pulled away, a dirty smirk on his face. “Not yet,” he said, his lips moving to your inner thigh instead and sucking hickeys into your skin until you’d calmed down just enough. He kept you on edge that way, building up your high time and time again without ever letting you have it.

“Why?” you whimpered when he robbed you of yet another orgasm, leaving you a desperate mess. You felt overstimulated and deprived at the same time and it made tears well up in your eyes.

“Don’t cry, babydoll,” Changmin whispered comfortingly, as if your misery wasn’t all his fault to begin with. He came back up, his thumb gently wiping away a tear that’d decided to spill out.

“I just wanna—why won’t you let me?”

“Because I need you to come around me, of course.” He rolled his hips against you, and you felt him through the fabric of his pants.

“Then hurry,” you whined. “Hurry up.”

“If you insist,” Changmin grinned, making quick work of his pants.

You let out a whimper when he lined himself up with you, overly sensitive and oh so impatient for him to finally push in.

“Hurry,” you complained again and it drew a chuckle out of him, his eyes twinkling mischievously when he finally granted your wish. He pushed in painfully slow, but with the way you’d been teased this whole time it was almost enough to tip you over the edge. By the time he bottomed out, you had tears brimming in your eyes again, more from being overstimulated than any pain or discomfort.

“Aw, crying again?” he cooed. “You’re doing so well though.” He slowly moved his hips back, pulling almost all the way out, just to slam back in in one quick motion that made you see stars. “See? Taking me so well, like you were made just for me.”

His hand came up to your neck, caressing the bruises he’d left on you. “I guess you were, though,” he whispered close to your ear, as he put just enough pressure on your throat to make it feel exciting. “All mine, meant to be all mine.”

He started thrusting into you then, picking up a brutal pace that took away any coherent thought you’d still had left. “All yours,” you babbled, barely even able to grasp the meaning of the words. “All yours.”

It barely took any time for that familiar high to build up within again and you almost thought he would take it away from you again. But when you met his gaze, eyes glazed over and desperate, he gently cupped your cheek and wiped your tears with his thumb.

“You can come, doll, it’s okay.”

It didn’t take more than that for you to tip over, your nails digging into his shoulders as you let out a string of moans and curses. He helped you ride it out, only stalling when the overstimulation made you beg for him to stop.

“You did so well,” he whispered, his lips leaving kisses on your neck while you were trying to catch your breath. Once you’d calmed down a bit you thought he’d pull out but he showed no intention of doing so.

“Changmin?”

He looked at you through hooded eyes, slowly rolling his hips into you. “You can still go on, right?”

The next morning you stared at your own reflection in his bathroom mirror. You’d been meaning to take a shower and then secretly sneak out while he was still asleep, but now you were finding yourself in too much disbelief to do so. You’d thought the hickeys you’d gotten before were bad, but those were nothing against the marks and bruises that littered your body now. Your shoulders looked especially bad, deep red scratches and even bite marks adorning your skin. With a shake of your head you wrapped yourself in a towel and walked back into the bedroom.

“This is a joke, right?” you complained the second you opened the door. Changmin’s head popped up from somewhere in the blankets, gazing at you with sleepy eyes and ruffled hair. “Mhm?” he grumbled.

“I get it, you like leaving marks, but you didn’t have to overdo it like this,” you said, turning your shoulder for him to see. “Like, seriously? Biting?”

Changmin rubbed his eyes and yawned and you tried to ignore how cute he looked.

“Shouldn’t you at least apologize?”

He tilted his head taking a closer look at your shoulder before a smile spread on his lips. “But doll,” he pulled down the blanket to show his own shoulder that looked even worse than yours, “these are from you.”

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#changmin x reader #the boyz x reader #q x reader #changmin fic #tbz fic #tbz x reader #kpop scenarios #the boyz imagines #the boyz fanfic #the boyz scenarios #tbz smut #tbz drabble #changmin drabble #tbz writing #kebbis.writing #imperfect connections

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wickedscribbles · 5 days

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whoever makes my baby cry (is gonna lose some teeth tonight) ch. 3

Masterlist

Ch. 1, Ch. 2

Pairing: Wade Wilson/Deadpool x Logan Howlett/Wolverine

Rating: Explicit

Tags: flirting, anxiety, insecurity, drunk background characters, canon-typical violence, communication issues, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff

Word Count: 4.4K

If you like what I write and can afford to do so, please consider buying me a coffee! It would be much appreciated.

In theory, it's been a good day.

At the very least, it’s a lot less terrifying than Logan had built it up in his mind to be. Wade never really let him in on what his plans were, so he’s just along for the ride as they travel across the sprawl of the city. Interestingly, he notices that Wade keeps their hands linked as they wait for the next bus – not an unpleasant experience by any means, but something they’ve never really done before. Though each of them often remains close enough to crawl inside the other when within the privacy of the apartment, PDA isn’t something they’ve ever really done.

For Logan, general proximity has always been enough. Knowing where Wade is, having his heartbeat and scent to go off of. An occasional brush of fingers isn’t unusual, a playful hip knock. Being more visible as a couple out in the public eye is new, and Logan wonders if it has anything to do with Wade’s insistence on going out looking…well. The way that he currently does.

His gut is telling him yes.

But Wade’s humming contentedly to himself as they’re squished into a seat, shoulder to shoulder. His mind can’t help repeating back to him how much going out like this seems to mean to Wade, and Wade has somehow come to mean a hell of a lot to him. So he keeps his mouth shut and explores the hand-in-hand situation, rubbing his thumb in small circles over the skin of Wade’s palm. Turns out, the man’s got a whole itinerary for the day. Which makes sense, considering it’s Wade. Logan can’t imagine him taking them out for lunch and then going right back to the apartment after all the fuss he’s already kicked up.

“So,” Wade starts, in a tone that Logan’s grown fond of. “I was thinking we’d start with lunch – I don’t know about you, but I worked up an appetite from this morning –”

Logan promptly elbows him in the ribs.

“Wade –”

There’s a pint sized kid in the aisle across, staring at them with curious blue eyes. Wade turns to see what he’s looking at, then shrugs.

“Okay, slow down, Mr. Pervert. You think I’m handing out details of my personal life for free? And to minors, no less? If they want that sort of information they can lie about their age, like the rest of us did when the internet was the wild west of all things freaky.”

He looks over at something Logan can’t see. “And like some of them still are. Don’t think I don’t fucking see you.”

“See what?”

“Nothing, kitty cat. Anyway,” Wade continues, excited.

Logan listens patiently as he’s given every last detail of what they’re going to do and where they’re going to go. Does it sound like a lot of interaction with the general populace he wouldn’t normally seek out? Yeah. But does it also seem like Wade put a ton of effort into making sure it’d be a combination of things they’d both enjoy? Also yes.

“Sounds nice,” Logan tells him when he’s through explaining, and Wade gives him a tentative smile.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He puts an arm around Wade’s shoulders, and it doesn’t take heightened senses to catch the obvious delight emanating from him at the new contact.

So they meander through the massive sprawl of the city, venturing to places Logan’s never had a reason to go. If he’s being honest with himself, his circles are pitifully small. He likes to stay within certain neighborhoods if he can help it, places he already knows, close to home. The only time he really strayed from that trend was when he was trying to figure out what home was. Once he has a routine, he likes to keep to it.

Wade tends to veer toward the opposite. He likes a little spontaneity – hell, impulse may as well be his middle name. Logan’s not surprised when they go off path from one part of the day to something unexpected that catches Wade’s attention. He’s known him long enough to just accept that that’ll happen sometimes, doesn’t mind it.

It’s actually nice to be somewhere he’s not used to. Logan didn’t realize that he’d been growing a little restless himself until given the opportunity to see something outside of the daily to and fro, as comforting as that had become. The cheerful spring weather holds as Wade takes him to walk through some of the biggest trees Logan’s ever seen in his life, and later still as they weave their way through a public market.

They’ve been walking all day by the time Wade points them in the direction of their final destination, but Logan doesn’t feel (that) overwhelmed or at all bored. It’s…it’s nice. Seeing more of the city was probably good for him.

Dusk brushes across the sky, tentative. They walk together down the sidewalk, sometimes dodging to the side for a passing crowd. There’s more going on here in terms of entertainment than where they’re living – probably why he’s never been out this way.

Logan can’t help but take an occasional glance at Wade. The makeup’s become smudged throughout the day, and it’s a relief to see the actual Wade beginning to poke through a bit.

“I’m still waiting for it,” Wade says, looking at Logan wryly.

That makes him nervous. “Waiting for what?”

“Waiting for you to say, ‘huh, jeez, Wade, guess living here doesn’t suck the absolute balls that I always say it does.’”

He rolls his eyes. “Those the exact words you think would come out of my mouth?”

Wade nods, his expression solemn. “Verbatim. You’ve picked up some very unbecoming slang from hanging around Al so much, I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“More like from hanging around you.”

“See, this is what I’m talking about!” Wade brings them to a stop. “The Logan that I dragged home would have just growled all sexy for the camera and stabbed me somewhere. He didn't banter like this.”

“Sooo…you’re saying you’re a bad influence.” He smirks.

They’re right outside the bar Wade wanted to poke his head into – some little hole in the wall joint Ellie, Laura, and Yukio won’t stop talking up called The Spork. Even from outside, Logan can hear and feel the pulse of the music. He can already tell that it’s going to be zero percent like the bars he’s frequented in the past. That’s probably for the best.

“Well, you did take off your chastity ring for me, didn’t you, sweetheart?” His voice dips lower on sweetheart, eyes roaming Logan’s chest through the strain of his shirt.

Fuck, he’s seriously starting to regret not taking Wade up on his offer this morning. They could have gone another round in under thirty minutes, right? (Wrong.) Logan can feel his cock stirring with interest, and though the street is growing dark now, it’s not something he wants to advertise.

“We goin’ in or not?” he mutters instead, fully aware that he’s lost the ability to quip back.

Sure, yeah, maybe he’s gotten better at keeping up, as Wade had said. But there’s no topping him when it comes to having a smart fucking mouth. He’s half-convinced Wade could just talk him to orgasm – and he wonders if it’s something they’ll ever try.

Wade chuckles a little at him.

“Don’t have to,” he says. “I know those dad shoes have seen more traction in the past eight hours than they’ve probably gotten in the last six months, so if you want to head home, we’ll head home.”

Again with this shit! Between him and Laura he’s never going to get away with any choice of footwear without getting roasted like he’s standing on the fucking sun.

“They’re literally just –”

“White New Balance, baby, I know.” Wade’s still grinning a little. “After you.”

He holds the door, and it only takes seconds for the two of them to become engulfed in sound. The bar is crowded with people he’d guess are probably around Laura’s age, a flurry of bright hair colors and crop tops, makeup on every kind of face. Queer couples whisper and laugh with each other, nursing drinks. Groups of friends pose for pictures. Lights dance from the ceiling, and the speakers are blasting a voice he’s become all too familiar with as Laura’s started turning the album on every time she’s in his car.

You know what they say – never waste a Friday night on a first date.

But there I was, in my heels with my hair straight, Logan finishes in his head, led by Wade to the bar by their connected hands.

“Be right back,” Wade says near his ear, careful not to yell. “You getting anything?”

Logan shakes his head. “Not if we’re just in and out.”

“Gotcha.”

He watches as Wade melts away into the crowd, side-stepping and inching through far more gracefully than Logan could until he slips into the restroom.

It’s easy to see why The Girls – as Ellie, Yukio, and Laura have come to be known in his mind – like it here. Inclusivity comes easier in cities, he knows that. But it’s still not perfect. Even harder when you have supernatural abilities you never asked for on top of it all.

Logan wonders if there are any more mutants in the crowd tonight.

Wade is taking a very long time. Shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot, Logan glances back to where he’d last seen him. Is he being too paranoid? Should he just wait and give it another minute? Fuck. He wished his brain wouldn’t turn everything into a disaster. It occurs to him that the bar is getting louder and louder and he can smell so much sweat and cigarette smoke and weed in here.

No, actually, fuck it, he’s going. There’s no harm in just walking in and seeing if he’s alright.

Anxiety spiral! Jess says cheerfully in the back of his head. He ignores her.

With one hand placed on the bathroom door, he’s just in time to almost fully collide with the man he’s looking for.

“Shit,” they say at the same time, getting out of one another’s way.

“No, it’s fine,” Logan says first, squinting as a flash of light from the overhead rig shines in his face. “You okay, bub?”

Sometimes eating genuinely does make Wade sick. Logan doesn’t know if it’s the cancer or a side effect of how his regenerative ability works for him, but there are days when food just doesn’t do it for him. Usually they can both tell when that’s going to happen, though. They’ll hole up in the apartment, turn on some good movies, and just be together while Logan rubs Wade’s back all day. He’s happy to do it for him; he’s prepared to take him straight home and do it now.

But Wade doesn’t smell sick.

When Logan blinks the last of the light away, he’s left looking at Wade, who is definitely not looking at him. In fact, he’s staring at his shoes, looking like he wants to crawl through the floor.

His face is clean, all the carefully applied makeup scrubbed away.

Logan opens his mouth to say something like okay, I’m glad you took that off, I like your actual face, but Wade beats him to the punch.

“Sorry,” Wade says softly. “It was getting all smudged, and…sorry.”

Tears gather hot and burning in the back of Logan’s throat. Out of nowhere, he’s furious, fucking outraged that Wade could feel this way about himself when it’s so clearly untrue. It’s the kind of emotion that he’s not sure he can shove down or redirect this time. Part of him knows that if Wade sees the look on his face, he’s going to read it the wrong way. And he needs to get out of this bar, right now.

He's like a string pulled too tight. Even the pressure of a breath could make him snap.

“Can we please leave.”

That’s all he can make himself say, the words coming out all taut and emotionless. It makes him feel like shit, but that’s all he can manage to get out.

Wade nods, and Logan offers his hand once more. A meager consolation prize compared to what he actually wants to tell him. Logan hates how lacking his brain-to-mouth output is. Whatever he ends up saying always sounds so inarticulate. Right now he’s staring at Wade’s profile in the gentle pulsing of the colored lights, thinking a million things. All of them thrum within him harder than his own heartbeat.

I love you.

You’re beautiful.

I hate that you thought you had to change for me.

I would kill for you.

I would live for you.

Ten feet until they’re outside – he can do that. Then he can fix this.

Logan’s eyes are fixed on the door, on the cool air drafting in as it opens and closes, when he’s shoved hard from the right.

“My bad,” says a voice at once. “Shit, my bad man, my bad.”

Logan grits his teeth so tight he feels one of them crack. He swallows the loose piece.

“Don’t worry about it.” Shut the fuck up and let me leave.

The man who bumped into him is so obviously wasted that he might as well be wearing a flashing neon sign. He sways a little on his feet, supported only by the sweet-looking woman he keeps bumping back into, as if she's the only thing keeping him upright. Brawny and dressed like he's just walked straight from his fraternity house, he squints at Logan and Wade like he's seeing double. Shit, maybe triple, at this point.

“Jake, maybe you need to sit down,” the woman says to him softly.

Her face is flushed, more from embarrassment than alcohol. She's staring up at the guy, one small hand on his arm, but Jake is looking at the two of them like he's never seen gays over thirty before. Hell, like he’s never seen a queer in general, which is astounding, considering the bar he’s currently standing in.

Logan can feel the hair on the back of his neck stand up. It’s a rare occasion when someone who’s looked at him like that didn’t end up pissing him off, and he’s already one step away from wanting a good excuse to tear into someone. Anyone.

“C'mon, just sit down with us, I'll get you some water.”

The guy isn't interested. He's too busy looking at Wade now, and Logan can see the thought forming on his face before he dares to speak it.

“Jesus, man, you're kinda ugly, did you know that?”

To Wade's credit, he says fucking excuse me? at the same time Logan's fingers close around the asshole’s throat.

For someone who'd been wobbling around only seconds before, Jake tries to pry them off with surprising accuracy. It only makes him squeeze tighter, watching with brutal satisfaction as his face turns darker shades of red.

That’s better. This, he can understand. For Logan, actions are almost always easier than words, especially when tinted with violence. Especially if he’s needed it for weeks now.

In his periphery, he can tell that several things are going on. The college girl is touching his elbow, asking him to stop, something like I’m so sorry please let him go I know he’s had way too much. Wade is standing back a ways, hands in his pockets, grinning more broadly than Logan’s seen all day. A small crowd is starting to gather.

Their faces are only inches apart. He knows he should walk away, just take Wade and go home.

Somewhere behind him, Wade is having the time of his life calling this frat boy a piece of shit. Logan can’t even keep up with half of what’s coming out of his mouth, but he hears something about getting his haircut off of a middle schooler’s Tiktok FYP but having his dad’s mental health issues, and those both seem like pretty deep cuts. He doesn’t fail to mention, of course, that Logan’s about to turn him into the wet food that they make for cats.

“C’mon, fuckface,” Jake wheezes, trying and failing once more to loosen his grip. “You mad your boyfriend ain’t pretty or–”

That’s all it takes. Logan curls his free hand into a fist and punches the other man so hard his nose breaks with a tidy snap. Blood pours out of him like a busted faucet as he punches him twice, three times, and in seconds he’s howling and pleading for him to stop – he didn’t mean it, he promises he didn’t mean it.

If it were up to Logan, he’d stay there and beat him until the fucking punk was barely capable of stringing a sentence together, then make him say thank you for letting him live. As the situation stands, however, several people are definitely calling the police – and that’s not something Logan has the patience for.

“Hey, Testosterone Tommy, we gotta go,” Wade calls, reading his mind.

Without another word, Logan turns his back to the mess he’s made, and they make short work of disappearing into the street.

By the time they’ve ducked through enough alleys and carved a confusing enough path that they don’t think they’re in danger of being pursued, Wade lets out a breath.

“Thanks for uh, defending my honor back there, peanut.”

Logan shrugs, still tense from the weight of the conversation he knows they need to have.

“It was nothin’. He needed to shut the fuck up. I was happy to provide the service.” He looks over at Wade in the soft light of a street lamp, who chuckles a little at that. “And I knew you woulda hit him yourself if I didn’t get there first,” he adds.

Wade's answering silence makes him wonder if he would have just taken the insult and kept walking, or turned it into a joke even if it made him feel like shit.

When they arrive back at the apartment, Laura opens the door, a wriggling Puppins in her arms, and scrunches her nose at the sight of Logan.

“Thought it was a date, the hell?” she says. “You’ve got blood on you.”

“Don’t all your dates end in bloodshed?” Wade says, shrugging. He turns to let the dog inspect his face with her mouth, which she does with excruciating enthusiasm. “Hi Puppins! Hi baby!! Did you miss us? You did! Anyway, we can’t go to your bar anymore.”

Laura doesn’t look that surprised. “What did you do?”

“Logan tried to kill a guy ‘cause he called me ugly.”

“I did not try to kill him,” Logan growls, passing Laura her phone as she goes to collect her things. “I just shook him up a little.”

“In a very heroic, brash, and manly way,” Wade sings, putting an arm around his waist. “The other guy really did gush, Laura, you would’ve loved it.”

She only shakes her head and sighs. “If you say so. I gotta get home, I work at six tomorrow.”

“Thanks for dogsitting! And catsitting, too, I guess.”

“Haha, I didn’t even see him.”

Logan walks her to the door while Wade wanders deeper into the bedroom. Every time Wade tells him stories about the Other Logan, and this Laura, he tries to imagine if he can feel that connection. It’s not the same as what he feels for her now – not as massive and deep as that love had to have been – but he still cares for her. He wants to see her do well. Growing up the way she had wasn’t easy, he knows that much. And she’s a good kid. Logan knows she’s trying to do her best – even if she sometimes gets into scraps of her own.

“Thanks, kid,” Logan says as they hover in the doorway. “Have a good shift, yeah? Try to behave yourself.” From the stories he’s heard from her working as a lead at a grocery store, people aren’t always the kindest.

“Could say the same to you,” she fires back, smiling before she turns down the hallway.

He watches until she’s gone before shutting their door and locking it. When he turns, Bonnet is staring at him from the little nook under the far left kitchen cabinet, his favorite place to hide.

“Hey, buddy,” Logan calls softly, bending down. Bonnet comes to him at once, tail lifted. “What'd you do today, huh?”

The massive tabby answers him with a quiet mrow, butting his head against Logan's hand. They stay like that for a moment, each of them comforted by the other.

When Logan makes his way to the bedroom, he finds Wade already in pajamas, scrolling on his phone. Wade glances up at him with a soft smile, watching him unbutton his shirt and toss it into the hamper.

“So…overall, was it an okay day?” he asks as Logan shuffles into bed beside him in only his boxers, landing with a heavy sigh. “Worth repeating, sans the whole dramatic knockout bit towards the end?”

His hand is already carding through Logan’s hair. Wade shuffles closer to let Logan sling a leg over his hip the way he wants to, recharging after a long day of being on the go.

“‘Course,” Logan mutters. The gentle way Wade’s touching him makes his whole body go limp and relaxed almost at once. He didn’t realize how much the day had weighed on him until he felt that weight lifting. “‘Course I’d go out with you again. Didn’t really know it was that important or we coulda – coulda gone a lot sooner.”

He feels Wade shrug. “Well, it took me a minute to learn how to get all the stuff right, otherwise I might have –”

Logan sits straight up in a way that makes the bed jolt. He looks Wade right in the eye, taking in the surprise, taking in every inch of his face, aching that Wade doesn’t think he’s good enough to go out without slathering shit on.

“Wade. For once in your life, shut the fuck up and let me say something. Please.”

“Yeah, okay. You’re kind of leaving me no choice, but okay.”

Huffing out a frustrated breath, Logan pauses to think. Everything he’s itching to say will come out angry, or make him want to cry. He doesn’t want either of those options to happen – he wishes he could just fucking say hard things without it being like this. Like his heart’s going to explode out of his chest.

“Fuck,” he says, dragging his hands across his face. “Fuck, Wade.”

“What?” He feels a hand on the side of his neck, feels Wade’s heartbeat pick up. Nervous. “Peanut, what’s the matter?”

“I didn’t want – I didn’t ask you – it wasn’t – you’re not – fuck.”

He can’t breathe. Wade notices.

“Just take a minute. I’m not going anywhere.”

Feeling very small and stupid and embarrassed the entire time, Logan closes his eyes and does as Wade asks. Forcing himself to breathe in and out until his chest doesn’t feel like it’s caved in on itself. Hating that this is so fucking hard. Other people don’t have to do this. Why is he like this?

Finally, he finds his voice again.

“Wish you didn’t go out looking like that,” he admits at last. “You didn’t need to do that for me. I didn’t want it, Wade. Wanted you.”

Logan peers up at Wade, who has a small, bitter sort of smile on his face. It’s probably one of the farthest things he’s seen from his genuine grin in some time.

“As the Irish forest man himself would say, you’re too sweet for me,” he says. “But you’re used to me, bud. You don’t get it.”

Exasperation roars like fire in Logan’s mind. “What the hell don’t I get? Wade. I’ve been lookin’ at you for a year now. I like it. Haven’t I made that clear enough?”

There are fucking tears in Wade’s eyes, though he blinks them back fast, and Logan’s own throat burns in instant empathy.

“I said, you don’t get it,” he says again. “You didn’t know me before. You didn’t see what I looked like then. And if you had, you sure as fuck wouldn’t be sticking around now.”

They’re both bolt upright in the bed now, tense, facing each other. Logan can’t tell whether he’s more angry or hurt that Wade would still cling so tightly to thinking about himself like this, but whatever held him back from speaking before is long gone now. It’s time to be mad.

“News flash, jackass,” he barks. “I did see you. And yeah, maybe you were cute, but you weren’t all that. So pull yourself out of this fuckin’ –” he throws his hands up “-- hole of self pity. I love you the way you are right now, not some fake version you feel like you have to slap on.”

Wade stares at him.

He can only hold the tough act for a half second before he wonders if he’s gone too far. Because getting Wade Wilson speechless? That is a rarity, and a cause for concern.

“Sorry,” Logan says lamely, after another long beat. “If that was too much, then sorry, I just don’t want you to think you’re not good enough to –”

“You mean it?” Wade says, his voice small. “The – the love thing.”

Oh. Oh shit. He’d fully said that.

“Yeah,” Logan answers, laughing a little. “Yeah, I do.”

And fuck, he does. There’s no use pretending it’s not true anymore. He loves the stupid little songs he sings in the morning and the way he hums when he’s sleepy and how much he loves the dog. He loves how much he cares about the people in his life. He loves how fucking smart he is and how he can crack a joke with absolutely no effort. He loves his weird taste in music and how he looks in his clothes.

He loves.

“I really do,” Logan tells him, cupping Wade’s cheek, pulling him in to kiss him. The way Wade kisses him back is so soft, and he’s laughing too, a breathless little sound against Logan’s mouth. He climbs into his lap and wraps his arms tight around him, and they stay like that for a long time, rocking back and forth, close, warm.

“Sorry it took so long,” Logan tells him after a while. The fact that Wade had said it first, and so much earlier, still fills him with guilt.

“S’okay,” Wade answers. “It was worth it.” He places more kisses to Logan’s forehead, the bridge of his nose, his cheeks. “So…can I fuck you to celebrate this little revelation? Like, a lot?”

“Yeah, please.”

#poolverine #deadpool x wolverine #deadpool x wolverine fic #deadpool x wolverine smut #poolverine smut #deadclaws #logan howlett x wade wilson #logan howlett #wade wilson #deadpool #wolverine #deadpool fic #wolverine fic #deadpool and wolverine

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streamafterlaughter · 4 months

Text

Safe

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summary: a night out with your friends turns sour, but you’re rescued by an unexpected hero

A/N: i wrote a chapter based on this post for my main fic, but feel a desperate need to write it again putting more detail into it bc i love a fictional man covered in blood idk what to tell you!!! let me know if you want a part II, im feeling a miniverse comin’ on (dw, chapter 23 of FD is in the works, i promise!) reblogs and comments always appreciated!

tags/tw: friends to lovers, mentions of sexual harassment, blood, violence (eddie gets in a fight), swearing, slut shaming, confessions, drunkish!eddie. (lmk if i missed something!) fluff, angst, slight hurt/comfort. reader and eddie are about 22-23, out of high school, happy etc etc. best friend!robin and best friend!steve feature, of course.

—

Your friendship had been simple, at first. You and Eddie had met as kids, before boys had cooties and girls were lame. Eddie had been cornered on the playground, by some giants in the grade above you. They'd shoved him against the chain link fence, their greasy leader demanding he hand over his lunch money. When Eddie blubbered that he didn’t have any, that he hadn’t eaten lunch in weeks, the goons cackled at him, shoving him to the ground while calling him things like “trailer trash.” You couldn’t stand it, even at eleven years old. The poor kid, with hair buzzed closely to his scalp, dressed in all black, carrying around a battered notebook with doodles of dragons on its cover. Your face had warmed with anger, hands balled into fists ready to swing on the group that would outnumber you five to two, or five to one if you were being realistic. This kid clearly wasn’t a fighter.

“Hey!” You had shouted, stomping your worn out converse against the mulch of the playground. “What the hell are you doing, Jared?” You hadn’t been afraid to get in the kid’s face, brows furrowed together as you jabbed your tiny finger into his puffed out chest. “What’s he ever done to you, huh? I don’t think it’s his fault your mother left.” You know now, it wasn’t the nicest thing to say, but it had worked. Jared’s goons had gone silent, anticipating his retort, but all he’d done was cry. What a bitch.

When he’d run, tail tucked between his legs, you’d turned to the cowering boy behind you, offering your hand. “You okay?”

He’d nodded, clearly still shaken up but trying to be brave. “I can take care of myself.” Of course, it had been embarrassing. Not because you were a girl, or younger than him, but you were braver. You didn’t give a shit what people thought of you. Even then, he could tell. You were fucking cool.

”Yeah, sure looked like it. Whatever. I’m Y/n.” You held out your hand to him again, this time to shake, like you were a seasoned lawyer, or something.

“Eddie.” He’d taken your hand, given it a brief shake, but you could tell he was nervous by the way your palm stuck to his.

”Hi, Eddie. You wanna walk to Benny’s with me? Get some burgers?”

He’d shaken his head. “I don’t have money.”

You’d only shrugged. “I got it.” You didn’t think mentioning that Benny was your uncle, or that you and your friends could always eat free, was worth mentioning. From that day on, you and Eddie had been inseparable.

—

The Hideout is loud. You’re wrapped around your best friend’s arm as he leads you through the bar. It’s the only time you’ve seen this place busy, let alone filled with people that don’t qualify for a discount at Denny’s.

The crowd must be the fault of the band. They're full of life on the tiny stage in the back of the bar, somehow convincing patrons to take to the sticky wooden floor to dance.

“You wanna drink, sweets?” You hear him even over the loud music, like a siren call meant only for you.

“Yes, please!” You look up at Eddie, who’s already staring at you. His rich brown eyes sparkle in the dancing stage lights, and you find your tongue in knots at the sight of him.

He nods, sliding his jacket from your shoulders before seating you at a table. “I’ll be right back!” He promises before skipping off to the bar. You keep your eyes trained on him, hypnotized by the way he glided towards the bar, weaving between the mass of gyrating bodies.

You can’t exactly pinpoint when your feelings for him started changing. You assume it had to have been high school. He started growing his hair out, dressing in leather and denim, and listening to a lot of heavy metal. Something about it was attractive to you, watching your best friend become the man he is now, at twenty three years old.

Even with an exterior most find scary, Eddie is still the kindest soul you know. That’s what really pulled you in. He’s always treated you with kindness and care, never once letting you leave his house angry, and knowing just what to say to calm you down. He always makes sure you’re home safe after a night drinking, sometimes even willing to forfeit his own fun to drive you to your place, or crash at his trailer.

Of course, these feelings have stayed stuffed deep, deep down. You can’t bring yourself to ruin what you have with him, risking your closest friendship to maybe be told what you want to hear.

“Hey! You still in there?” Eddie waves his decorated hand a few inches from your face, and you’re dragged back to earth. He places your drink on the table in front of you.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Penny for your thoughts?” He rests his chin on his knuckles, full attention on you, and you feel your face warm.

“Just happy to be out with you is all.” Not a lie, but not exactly the truth. Safe.

“Alright.” He’s never been one to pry. “You wanna dance?” The song has changed to something slower, and you try not to read into his timing as you nod your head cautiously, taking Eddie’s hand as he leads you to the floor.

Eddie places his hands on either of your hips, and you can’t help but stiffen. “This alright?” He must have felt it too.

“Yes, yeah,” You stumble to reassure him, nervous you’ll scare him off. He’s always been such a gentleman, so careful with you.

You drape your arms around his neck loosely, casually. Safely. Still just two friends, swaying to some angst ridden tune you can’t understand the words to.

—

It’s later when Steve and Robin arrive, already drunk from spending the night at a concert in the city. You’re still not down for the count, and Eddie’s nursing his sixth drink of the night as the music has switched from guitar driven to computer beats coming from a turntable.

“Since when does The Hideout hire DJs?” Robin shouts over the bass driven music, eyes squinting in the bright lights.

“Ever since the place sold to some big wig in Indy, they’ve been doing this shit on weekends!” Eddie informs her as Steve starts talking about how “this is actually a great business tactic.” You decide now is a good time to slip back to the bar for a refill.

Unfortunately, you are one of about fifty people to have that idea, and you groan as you fight to find an open space along the counter. You mumble “excuse me” after “sorry” after “move, please!” until you’ve almost reached the front. As you’re about to order, you feel a hand squeeze your ass.

You whip your head around, and come face to face with a large, muscular man in a tight t-shirt and even tighter jeans.

“Hey, baby,” He winks, the disgusting smirk on his face sending a chill through your body. “You here all by yourself, gorgeous?” Your throat tightens. This is what it’s like, you know that. You shouldn’t be by yourself, that was your mistake. Your throat tightens, impossibly dry, before looking back up at this man. He is seemingly a foot and a half taller than you, likely able to break you in half using only his bicep, and he’s is standing way too close. You can even smell the whiskey on his tongue. “Uh, well,”

“Cmon, let’s go dance, huh?” He interrupts, snatching your wrist with an iron grip, and you squeeze your eyes shut as he leads you towards the dance floor, already formulating an escape route. You’ll say you need to use the bathroom, then you’ll find your friends and leave. Easy enough, right? Unfortunately as you reach the dance floor, the song slows again and you find yourself flush against this beast of a man, his big arms caging you into his chest. You feel the tears start to well in your eyes, blurring your already obscured vision. Your heart drops into your stomach when you realize you are completely, fully, and hopelessly trapped.

—

“Sooo,” Robin turns to Eddie, who’s been staring across into space, daydreaming about you for the last five minutes. “Where’s your girl?”

“What?” He’d heard her, but he wants to hear it again. And again and again.

“Your baby, dingus! You’re one true-“

“Would you shut up?” He interrupts her slurring of teasing, aching jabs, feeling his face heat up with every syllable. “She’s not my- y’know, she’s not mine.”

“Oh, please!” Steve snorts, causing Eddie to whip his head to look at him. “We all know she’s yours, and you’re hers, and all that romantic bullshit, okay? No use trying to squirm out of it. Be grateful you got that much. We all know she loves you.”

He rolls his eyes, but his heart is skipping with each word. He wants to believe them, desperately. He can’t bring himself to have those hopes, though, not about you. He’d only disappoint you, or scare you off when he got too close. It’s better, keeping you at a distance. Safer.

“Is that… No,” Robin looks beyond Eddie, and he turns to follow her gaze. He finds you easily, the only figure he’d recognize in such a loud, multicolored environment. You’re squished against a boulder of a man as you sway to the music, but he can’t see your face. Eddie feels his heart catch in his throat as he turns back to his friends.

“See? I told you she’s not mine.” He clears his throat when he hears his own voice crack. Not fucking now.

“Who is that guy?” Steve asks, craning his neck to get a better view.

“Probably just some club sleaze, she’s probably not even having fun.” Robin shrugs. Her comment clicks in Eddie’s brain before it clicks in her own, though.

“I gotta go.” He shoves himself from the table.

“Should I go with him?”

Robin shrugs. “That dude is gigantic. Maybe watch his back.”

—

“Hey, um,” The song has ended, and you need to get the fuck out of here. “I’ll be right back, I gotta use the ladies’ room,” You peel yourself away from him, but he grabs your arm before you can.

“Nuh uh, you can use the bathroom at my place. C’mon.” There will be no talking yourself out of this. Usually you can confuse a man into leaving you alone, but this guy’s different. You can sense the danger, the complete lack of empathy, like it’s a scent he’s giving off. You have to make a scene.

You twist your arm, writhing to get out of his grip, when you feel the cooling rings of a familiar hand on your shoulder. “Hey, sweetheart,” Eddie’s voice is low, so this man/monster can’t hear him. “I’m gonna get you out of here. Hang on.” He moves in front of you, between you and the giant causing him to drop your arm. There’s an angry red ring of his lasting grip around your wrist. “You gotta problem, buddy?” The guy puffs his chest out at Eddie, like some weird, animalistic instinct to seem bigger. Like he needs that advantage.

“Yeah, I do. Why were your hands on my girl?”

You try not to think about the words too much. Despite the situation though, you feel your heart skip. Steve joins him beside you, placing his hand on your other shoulder protectively.

“Your girl, huh? Well your girl’s a fuckin’ slut then, she’s been dancing with me for the last ten minutes.”

“What the fuck did you just call her, you prick?”

“You heard me bitch boy, she’s a slut! And I like my girls dirty.” Before Eddie can respond, the guy swings his arm into Eddie’s unsuspecting face as you watch, frozen and helpless. Your hands fly to your mouth to muffle the shriek, but you catch the attention of some nearby patrons.

Eddie doesn’t go down, though. The adrenaline keeps him on his feet. “Oh, we’re doin’ this now?” Eddie smirks as he wipes the blood from his split lip. “Cmon, I know you got more in ya than that. You’re massive!” Eddie taunts him before launching at the guy, managing to double him over with a punch to the gut. “You’ll have to do more than that if you want her, big guy. I’ll lay down my fuckin’ life in this bar for that woman.”

The crowd has now turned their attention to where Eddie’s got the brute in a headlock. He gets one more punch in before his opponent breaks out of his grasp, sending his elbow straight into Eddie’s nose. “Oh, ho, ho,” Eddie cackles maniacally as he lifts away from the counter, blood now dripping from his nostrils into his mouth, staining his skin and his shirt. “Look at you, tough guy.” He spits a mouthful of blood onto the bar floor. “Real big of you beatin’ on someone a quarter your size.”

Before anyone else can make a move, the bouncers are rushing up behind them, escorting both men out the front entrance while you follow behind with Steve and Robin. It takes six guys to move the giant, leaving Eddie to comply with the disgruntled manager. You watch as your adversary curses at Eddie before walking into the night, disappearing before anyone could think to call the cops.

“Oh my god, what the fuck?!” Robin is laughing nervously as she looks between you and Eddie, then to Steve with that annoying, know-it-all glint in her eyes.

“Eddie, he could have fuckin’ killed you!” Steve, ever the babysitter, scolds his friend with an elbow to his ribs, causing Eddie to wince in pain.

“Yeah, maybe, but if it meant keeping her safe-,” He cuts himself off as he meets your teary eyes. “Oh, no. Sweets, what’s wrong?”

You shake your head, barely able to look at the bloody boy in front of you. He’s hurt because of you. You were supposed to keep him safe.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie.” You whisper, afraid your voice will betray you for speaking at full volume. “You shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have let you.” The tears are warm on your cheeks when they spill, and as quickly as they do, you have six arms wrapped around you.

—

“Get some rest, we’ll see you guys tomorrow.” You shut the cab door behind you before following Eddie into his trailer. You don’t want to be alone tonight, and Eddie has graciously offered a sleepover at his place.

“How’s your face?” You ask, already on your way to the freezer for an ice pack.

“I’m fine, honey, I promise.” His voice says otherwise, low and scratchy from a night of straining it. “How are you doing, though?”

It’s a loaded question. How are you supposed to feel, watching your best friend risk his life for you? You’re grateful, sure, but the guilt eats at you still. “I’m just so, so sorry Eddie,” You carefully lift your hand to caress his swollen cheek. “You really didn't have to do that.”

“What was I supposed to do? Let him hurt you? I couldn’t live with myself.” He shakes his head, wincing in pain. “I meant what I said. I’d risk my life to keep you safe.”

You shake your head, not accepting his answer. “Why?” It’s meek, barely a whisper as you blot the remaining blood from his lip.

“What do you mean why?” His words are muffled by the tissue.

You huff, getting upset despite yourself. “You’re telling me you’d put yourself in danger if it meant keeping me out of it? What’s the point? Why do that to yourself because I’m too stupid to make the right decisions? What do you gain from that?”

He shakes his head, clearly frustrated. “Do I have to gain something from it? I do it because I love you, y/n. Simple as that.” You gape at him, and he rolls his eyes, the beginning of a smirk twitching on his face. “Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“It would be helpful, yes.” You’re just about begging now, the nervous sweat causing your shirt to stick to you.

“Sweets, I accepted that I would die for you a long fuckin’ time ago. If it meant keeping you happy, I would tie myself to the train tracks. Or, in this case, let some fucker twice my size beat the living shit out of me.”

You can’t accept it, logically. Your brain won’t let you believe any of his claims. “But I don’t-“

“No.” His voice is stern, almost scolding. “No more of that ‘I don’t deserve you’ shit. Okay? Absolutely not. Because you do. You saved my life all those years ago, and I promised myself I’d make sure to protect yours, too. You are my best friend, and the absolute love of my life, so I’m gonna give you everything I’ve got.” He laces his fingers with yours, and you watch as his rings catch the light.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel that way about me, I’ll never ask you for that, it wouldn’t be fair. But I can’t stand by when you’re in trouble, it’s not what I do.”

Your heart is fighting to free itself from your ribcage. It wants to jump from your skin, straight into Eddie’s open palms. Though the ever present coward in you wishes to curl up inside yourself and hide from him, everything else in your body is being pulled towards him, compelled as if by nature.

Before you even notice you’re crying again, Eddie wraps himself around your shaking frame, rubbing soothing patterns on your back as you sob, open mouthed and ugly, into his t-shirt. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m right here.” He coos, and you focus on his breathing, matching the pace to calm the stutter of your cries.

You claw at his jacket, inhaling his scent of cigarettes and pine soap. You need him closer. He tightens his grip on you, and you look up to face him. His own cheeks are wet with tears, his eyes screwed shut trying to stifle the bite of the wracking sobs you know the strength of well. This is the only chance you’re getting, so you move with calculation. Despite the anxious pounding of your heart, and everything in your head telling you that he’s not yours and never could be, you crane your neck to reach Eddie’s split and swollen lips, squeezing your eyes shut as you place your mouth on his, ever so gently.

Before Eddie can react, you’re gone, face inches away from him as his eyes flutter open. “Whoa. Uh, w-what… what are you doing?” He sputters, face now bright red, and you feel your own cheeks blush.

“I’m- I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed… ” You cover your mouth with your hand to hide the shame, feeling the fire in your stomach. You have just ruined years of friendship, and for one stupid kiss! But Eddie’s beaming, and he’s still gripping you close to him. “I've just wanted to do that for so long.” You admit shyly, shifting against his grip, ready to retreat, but he holds you tighter.

“Can you do it again?” His voice is more confident now. You’re not sure you’ve heard him correctly, but when you look at him, it’s undeniable.

You mirror his smile, nodding before leaning into him again. He makes the connection, taking the lead as your body contorts around his, lips locking together as he holds you flush against him. His lips are so soft, and he’s so gentle with you, even though you can tell he’s eager, like maybe he’s also wanted to do this for a while. The thought causes you to smile against his lips, and you feel his own lips stretch against yours as your hands move from his shoulders to his hair.

One of his hands moves from your waist to caress your face, holding your jaw like a precious pearl he’s discovered after years at sea. Your tears fall freely now, ones of overwhelming love for Eddie, ones you never could have hoped to shed, content letting them simmer in the pit of your throat if it meant keeping your best friend. You’re breathless when he lets you go, fighting the urge to chase after his lips. After almost a decade of wondering what Eddie would taste like, what kissing him would feel like, now you get to know. “I have been in love with you since that day on the playground,” He confesses, tightening his arms around your waist to keep you close. “But I’m such a chicken shit, I didn’t wanna ruin anything. You were so sweet to me, I couldn’t risk losing that, losing you.” The words seem to spill from him now, like he’s been craving to tell you. You suppose he has.

You take in the sight of your best friend, battered and bruised for the sake of your honor, like a knight thrown into battle without armor. He’s beautiful, even in black and blue. You bring your hand to his cheek, rubbing small circles on his skin as he leans into your touch. You could stay here forever, you think. “I love you too, Eds. I have for as long as I can remember.” He smiles at you, lip splitting again but he doesn’t even flinch. You return the grin, feeling your cheeks ache from how wide you’ve stretched your mouth. “Thank you for keeping me safe.” You kiss him again, letting yourself taste the blood he’d spilled for you, a silent promise that you’ll make sure he never has to again.

taglist @children-of-the-grave :p

#friends to lovers #best friends to lovers #eddie x reader #eddie x you #eddie munson #st #st4 #eddie munson fanfic #angst #fluff #stranger things #strangerthingscentral #f!reader #willow writes sins #i keep forgetting to use that tag bc i made it when i was 12

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ahundredtimesover · 1 year

Text

Belong (01) | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: exes-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers; actress!OC x basketball coach!Yoongi; summer romance; “long” distance relationship; parallel timelines; angst, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, family drama, sport injury; dreams & moving away; implied depression; basketball and acting talk; 2014 and 2022 Yoongi; shy and nonchalant cocky whipped Yoongi; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter (18+)

Chapter Word count: 14.2k

Series Masterlist

Status: Complete

Series summary: Being an actor has always been your dream. Pursuing it meant many things - leaving the town where you grew up, distancing yourself from your family that had fallen apart, and saying goodbye to the man who made you feel what home was like. When you decide to finally return after being away for so long, you meet Min Yoongi again, and you’re reminded of the summer romance from 8 years ago with the college basketball superstar whose broken dream pushed you away. As you find yourself spending time with him, you’re left to wonder if love changes, if it gives second chances, or if it’s just another illusion that will hurt the both of you the second time around.

Listen to: Boston by Augustana; Shelter by Luca Fogale || Playlist 🎶

A/N: Posting this today to celebrate People pt.2 and D-Day! Here’s a little piece I’ve had for a while. It felt fitting to write something about dreams and finding your purpose through Yoongi and at a time when I’m going through something similar. There’s nothing like his wisdom and his warmth so I hope this could mean something to you somehow. 💕 Please enjoy! And 🫡 to NBA Ambassador Suga! Now that’s his 🏀 dream in another form.

Present Day

There’s always something magical whenever you watch yourself on screen.

It’s not due to some narcissistic reason or an insatiable desire for the spotlight; it’s not even because you think you’re really talented. Sure, you like the attention and just like anyone who’s spent years of their lives perfecting their craft, you want to be pretty great at it, but all those thoughts become suspended whenever it’s your scene.

During these instances, it’s only about your character and her emotions, and that’s what you think is remarkable about it - watching yourself is just like being there, in that moment, on that set, feeling it all.

Most actors would say they love acting because it gives them a variety of roles and personalities to play. You like that bit, too, but it’s the character’s emotions that you commit yourself to the most; it’s being able to immerse yourself in the feelings of joy and anger, of contempt and fear, of envy and admiration, of guilt and love. You like the finiteness of it, that with acting comes the feeling, and you know at some point, it’s going to end.

Once the scene is over, so is the emotion; you’re able to let go of it right away with one breath. You’re good at that, you think - holding onto something for as long as it’s yours, and then letting it go when it no longer is.

The collective gasp of the people around you breaks your bubble only a little; you release a breath yourself as the last scene unfolds. And with the final shot and the succeeding transition to the end credits, you let go of the sadness.

“I can’t believe that only took one shot,” your best friend, Taehyung, says in awe. “I would’ve been crying already knowing how it ends.”

“Jin and I challenged each other,” you proudly say. “We said we’d do our absolute best for that first try and the director thought it was that good. Seriously, not crying until that last second was so hard; I didn’t think I could do it.”

The Kim Seokjin, your co-actor and good friend, looks at you from the other side of the couch with that soft and proud look that you only ever get from him once a project is over. You return the sentiment, knowing that you wouldn’t have survived your first lead role in a drama series if he wasn’t acting alongside you.

He’d been your senior at university where you both took your major in acting. He was already modeling then and snagged a major role in a movie right after graduation; he became a household name after that.

You watched from the sidelines as he achieved his dreams while you took the occasional 30-second roles given to the students, but he didn’t forget you. He called regularly to know how you were doing, gave tips when you asked, and informed you of upcoming auditions.

It was the type of friendship that challenged you, given that you both wanted to one day star in a series or movie together, a culmination of all the long hours of rehearsals and line-reading and classes that you both did. He had already made a name for himself; you wanted to be good enough to have yours be opposite his.

It would take a few years, but after a supporting role in a romcom movie that saw people wanting more of you, you and Jin finally got cast in a series about a mortal woman falling in love with a celestial being, which, at the beginning, reflected your respective statuses in the industry. You expected the show to do well - everything that Kim Seokjin touches turns to gold, as the saying goes - but you didn’t expect for the public to love you both as a pair as much as they do, given that they want you to star in another show right away.

“I cried as I turned around,” Jin says of the scene where he had to go back to his world and leave you behind. “That was heavy and even I’m impressed we did it in one shot.”

“Well, the sadness and grief would have dwindled by the third or fourth time,” you chuckle. “I’m not good enough yet to maintain all the emotions after so many takes.”

“Not that you aren’t good enough,” Jin counters. “You just haven’t been in the industry that long yet. That kind of experience makes a difference. I’d say I wouldn’t have been able to sustain the same emotion for long, too. It was a difficult one. I mean, what goodbye scene isn’t?”

It’s a rhetorical question, of course, but much of why it was difficult for you to keep the emotions in was because it was your first goodbye scene. You have a feeling that the succeeding ones wouldn’t be any easier, though. You’d like to think you’re okay with goodbyes and that says a lot, but then again, you don’t know anyone who’s actually good at it.

Or maybe you do. But you’d rather not think about it.

It’s silent for a few more seconds. You suppose that the rest of your co-actors who are here with you are still processing the end of a series that’s been their source of comfort for the past few months, too. It had been your weekly routine to watch the episode together in Jin’s house, not wanting to let go of each other just yet after filming wrapped up a few weeks ago.

“Well, that was amazing, wasn’t it?” He finally speaks up. “It was a good run and thank god that ___ insisted on these watch parties. Or else I’d be crying by myself in my room after the finale,” he laughs. “This better not be the last time we see each other.”

“Because it isn’t,” you reply. “We still have that cast and crew dinner and a couple more filming stuff for promo. That’s easily another 3 more weeks of being together. Which is really 3 weeks too short.”

“So… does anyone want to go on a trip after that?” Hyun-seung, one of the actors, excitedly suggests. “It’d be a good way to unwind and use up what we’ll earn.”

You laugh along with everyone but you’re the only one who passes up on it.

“I can’t,” you sigh. “I have a trip to Daegu at the end of the month and I can’t move it.”

Disappointed sighs echo throughout the living room, and you insist that they should continue with the trip without you. Most of them don’t want to, but you eye Jin so that he would make the call to push through with it even if you won’t be around, so he does. It’s rare to find such good company with other actors, and you truly want them to maintain the friendships they built here way beyond the series.

Your friends make general plans as you listen in, wishing you could be there instead of home, which is where you’ll be for the next 2 months as you promised your family. Or more like, as they guiltripped you into doing.

You haven’t been home in years and for good reason. After your parents separated and you were the lone child who didn’t harbor anger towards your mother who wanted to pursue her dreams elsewhere, you promised yourself you’d leave that place, too.

Visits during summer had been fine. But after the most painful goodbye you ever made, you’d stopped going back altogether, reasoning that your up and coming career required all your time. You doubt that your family knew the truth, and despite their remarks of you following in the footsteps of your mother, those weren’t enough for you to open up about something so heartbreaking, knowing it hit too close to home. Their bitterness wasn’t a reason for you to keep going back either.

“Daegu, really?” Jin asks after everyone else has left, save for Taehyung and Jimin, your personal assistant whose glassy eyes say he’s not yet over the season finale. “You haven’t been home in 6 years.”

“Four, actually,” you correct him. “I had a filming there sometime ago.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t actually go home,” he clarifies. “You went to the shoot then back to your hotel. I remember that; I kept asking Tae how you were doing.”

“I was fine,” you shrug. “How was I supposed to be? I was good, just couldn’t wait to get back here. I had a boyfriend, remember?”

“Andrew was a fling, not a boyfriend,” Jin rolls his eyes, and you confirm that the model is his least favorite of your exes. “And if I remember correctly, you broke it off days later.”

“Well, it stops being good when it stops being fun,” Taehyung says, mocking your usual statement whenever your friends ask why you broke things off with your partners. “She shut down when she came back. I guess going home does that to her.”

“You know how places just naturally comfort you? Daegu isn’t that place,” you try to explain. “I had to get it off my system for the one week I was there and Andrew acted out. I just didn’t want the drama.”

Everyone nods, knowing it’s how you usually are. You always viewed relationships as a complement to your job. Being an actor is tough work with its own complications and you definitely don’t want it from your partner. It was always easy for you to fall into that honeymoon hole with someone, but you always walked away from it just as quick once the rainbows and butterflies had subsided. Whether it’s jealousy over your leading men or not having enough time, or just wanting to be by yourself to regroup, your exes always found a reason to argue. And you were always good at walking away when you needed to.

It was like that with every person. Except one. Your friends don’t know if he’s the reason why, or if he’s the exception.

“So what made you decide to go home? And for how long?” Jin queries, feeling a little worried because of what he knows is out there for you. He’s always been a little protective like that.

“About 2 months?” You respond, to the surprise of the older man. “My dad wants me to celebrate his wedding anniversary with them. And spend time with my sisters’ kids and my grandparents and shit.”

“And spend time with my parents,” Taehyung adds, knowing it’s probably the only thing you’re excited about, given how much they adore you and vice versa. “They can’t wait to see you.”

“Same here,” you finally smile. “We’re definitely seeing them first.”

“Anyone else you’re going to see there?” Jin asks some more.

“You can say his name, you know?” You nudge your friend’s knee. “I know he’s who you mean.”

“Well then. Are you going to see Yoongi?”

“I don’t plan on seeing him but I probably will. It’s a big city but it’s a small town. Plus, I’m with Daegu’s Prince right here,” you say, pointing to your best friend who’s made a name for himself as a ballad singer. “Tae will be dragging me around so I won’t be surprised if I encounter Yoongi somehow, somewhere.”

“And what happens when you see him?” Jimin now asks, wanting to know if he’d need to drive to you in case you decide to come home early.

“Then I see him. We’re… fine,” you state, earning you an eye roll from each man, so you clarify. “I mean, I’m perfectly fine living my dream in Seoul. And he’s a college basketball coach in Daegu, which is the closest to his dream he could get, and I heard his team’s doing really well. It’s been 6 years. He let me go. And I’ve moved on. Who knows how it’s gonna be like? But I’m civil with each one of my exes and it won’t be any different with him.”

“He’s different, though,” Jimin points out. “You actually loved him; you can’t say the same for all your exes. And you can’t argue that,” he adds, seeing your shaking head and disagreeing face. “Drunk and hungover you told me all that more than once and I trust that version of you over the sober one when it comes to your love life.”

“Okay, Mr. Know-It-All,” you frown at him. “I wasn’t going to deny that but it was the naive, impulsive, hopeless romantic version of me who loved him. That’s not me anymore. I’ve grown up. I know what I want from my partner, and Yoongi is just the small town boy who’ll always think that his broken dreams will keep him from loving me the way I deserve. And maybe he’s right.”

It’s quiet for a while, as your friends take in your words since you rarely ever talk about the man unless you’re in an inebriated state or recovering from it. But it’s the first time that the possibility of seeing him looms over you, knowing that within those 2 months, you’re bound to run into him somehow.

Now it’s too quiet, and you realize that none of you know what to say since you’re all sober. Truth be told, you don’t remember anything that Jimin’s ever told you during those times that you opened up, and Jin never really said much, knowing how hard that breakup hit you. And Taehyung, well… the man was there before, during, and after it all, yet he never really said much, always choosing to let the silence engulf both of you.

“Look, I’m touched you all seem to be worried,” you finally speak up. “But I’m going to be fine. I found a house I’m renting that’s nice and private. I’m actually excited to eat at my favorite restaurants and visit places I’ve missed. I can’t do anything about my family but at least Tae will be with me the whole time and save me from their madness if he needs to. And Yoongi, well… he’s a closed chapter in my book. There’s no reason to revisit that. Hi, goodbye - that’ll be it, just like before.”

You sigh to yourself, hoping that your friends would take your word for it, though you don’t really blame them if they don’t. They’ve seen you barely bat an eye after calling it quits with your exes but they’ve heard of how broken you were because of that breakup; seeing Yoongi again might just bring up old memories that you might not be ready for. And they won’t all be there to lift you up like they’d want to.

“Okay then, if you say so,” Jin finally smiles. “But if something comes up… you know I can always drive there and bring you back here.”

“And add to the already existing rumors about us being a thing?” You laugh, referring to all the social media fodder about your chemistry that’s too good, it might be real.

“So? Then we let it,” he shrugs.

“Does the Kim Seokjin not care about dating rumors?” You gasp. “You always complained about it. Don’t tell me you like me.”

Jin sits next to you and cups your face in his hands. “I… love you. The way a dear friend who dreamed with you and who gets to live that out with you does. We all love you. We’d do anything for you. You know that, right?”

“I do,” you say, humming once he plants a soft kiss on your forehead, just like all the times he’d done before - when you graduated university, when you didn’t get callbacks, and when you landed your first major role. “Thank you.”

You decide to head out after a long evening. Jimin lists your activities for the next day before he’s dropped off at his apartment. Taehyung lets you listen to his new single for his upcoming album, and you get emotional over his soulful sound and the fact that he gets to live out his dream with you, too.

He walks you to your front door and hugs you tightly, just like all the times he’d done before - when you cried about your family, when Yoongi broke up with you, and when you found out he was dating someone new.

“I love you, okay?” Your best friend whispers.

He says it in that soft, comforting voice of his. The one that always told you that things were gonna be fine, as if love solves all things, and at one point, you believed it did.

Your hometown of Daegu looks very different from the last time you were really here. It changed a lot. And it changed pretty quickly.

But some things about it stay the same - family-run restaurants, streets lined with little shops passed down from generations, the parks and the temples, the playground in your old neighborhood with the basketball court that you know all too well.

They make the place home, Mrs. Kim says. That doesn’t change no matter how far or how long you’ve been away.

You want to disagree. This place was never home. It felt like bits of it during the times you used to watch ballet performances at the Opera House with your mom or when your dad used to grill makchang on Friday nights.

But when she decided to leave and then he remarried, you had just memories of home left. Your sisters’ resentment over your happiness for your mother as she achieved her dreams took all that was remaining, and coming here reminds you more than what you lost; it reminds you of what you can never have - that space to dream, the place of safety, the love that would endure time and distance.

You enjoy the best short ribs dish over Mr. Kim’s recordings of his saxophone performances. Mrs. Kim dotes on you like her own daughter, and Taehyung announces all the things you’ll be doing now that you’re both back home, taking your respective breaks that you deserve, and spending the money that you worked hard for.

You eventually leave for some rest. The house you’re staying at is far from the buzz of the city. It’s private and secure, a little too spacious for one, and boasts of the views of the mountains. Jimin had found it, knowing you’d need the peace and quiet amidst all that would be taking place during your short time here.

Taehyung will be staying over at his parents’ place, but they insist that it’s open for you to visit anytime you want. You think you need the time for yourself, though. Your job often requires you to be around people, and you’re thankful for the choice you have now to be away from them. For some time, at least.

[From: Manager Jung] Are you settled? I’ve got a script for you to go through. Sending it now

Your agent-slash-manager’s message disrupts your moment of tranquility as you sit out at the garden, watching the sun set. You’d arrived from Seoul in time for lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon at Taehyung’s parents’ house before heading to yours.

[To: Manager Jung] Yeah, all good. But give me a week until I read the script. Don’t want to think much about work yet

[From: Manager Jung] Fine. Just don’t take too long

You sigh, knowing that though you promised Jin and Jimin that you won’t be thinking about work while you’re here - you need a break from it all, they told you - your manager won’t really let you. And much as you want to complain about him pushing you real hard, you’re thankful that Jung Hoseok always does.

He was the one who saw your talent and insisted you’ve got a bright future after one casting call that you were almost late for. He was strategic in which roles to pitch you for as a rookie actor, and which ones would get you ahead of the game, no matter how challenging it was. During the times you wondered if you were meant for this industry, he always assured you that you were. There was always going to be a bigger break after the last, he believed, and he promised you he’d go searching for that role until you got the biggest break of your career.

And every time you think he’ll cross the line of pressuring you too much, he says something sweet, brotherly, friendly.

[From: Manager Jung] But take care of yourself there, ok? Don’t let them talk down on you. Don’t let them crush your dreams

You’d cry if his words came with a hug.

[From: Manager Jung] And guard your heart. Don’t let him hurt you again

You pretend he means your father; he let your sisters’ resentment of you go on after all, and his inaction made you feel unloved in your own home.

You don’t want to think that Hoseok means someone else because it would mean that for all the times you questioned if everything you gave up to chase your dream was worth it, then he knew it was because of the man who broke your heart 6 years ago. You don’t want to think that all these years, Hoseok knew that your buzz-worthy dating life, whose aftermath he always had to manage, was just your futile attempt at getting over the first and only man you ever loved.

Being in any sports facility unsettles you. You always claim that the buzz of sporting events just isn’t your cup of tea - you prefer the noise of a film or television set, or of a theater right before the movie starts. It wasn’t always like that, of course. You used to enjoy the screams and heckles of sports fans; you used to be one of them.

But you found out the hard way that losing someone means you lose the parts of you that you’d adopted because of them, that you fall out of love with the things you used to love because of them.

Basketball is one of those things. It’s why Taehyung used to not invite you whenever there were Thunders games at Jamsil despite the free tickets always available for you; he knew you’d say no and he hates rejection.

But Mr. Song is a man you can’t say no to. Not only is he the city’s mayor, he’s also a good friend of your father’s, which is how the chief official got wind of your return.

Your trip isn’t meant to be publicized. Actors take breaks and visit their hometowns regularly without attracting the media, and oftentimes, that’s thanks to the local government, who employs their political will and own security to ensure that celebrities aren’t disturbed while they’re on vacation or just visiting family. It’s good for them, of course, but it also sometimes comes with small favors, like a private dinner with some of their close friends and some photos or autographs. You don’t really mind, especially since the same is extended to Taehyung, hence why the lunch earlier at the mayor’s residence wasn’t all that bad. It was only slightly awkward with your father because you chose to meet up with Taehyung’s family first before yours, but your dad didn’t dwell on it.

Other than privacy, one other thing you get are free courtside Korean Basketball League tickets. The Pegasus just recently moved to Daegu from Incheon and there’d been a lot of promotion to get the city to give their full support to their new hometown team. Mr. Song thinks that photos of you and Taehyung attending the game will be the publicity that the team needs, and while your best friend genuinely agrees to the arrangement, you only do so half-heartedly. You’ll at least see your friends who are playing for the other team, but even the thought of Jungkook and Namjoon being back home and the party they’ll throw after is making you even more unsettled.

“Hmm, number 16 was pretty cute,” you whisper to Taehyung as you head out of the locker room after some photos with the home team. “I wonder if he’ll be at the party tonight.”

“No, he won’t,” your best friend responds.

“Why not? Because he’s from the other team? I’m sure that Jungkook won’t mind, right? I mean, yeah it’s his house but—”

“Tonight is for college friends only.”

“We didn’t even go to their university,” you point out, given that you and Taehyung studied in Seoul and had met there, instantly clicking after finding out you both hailed from the same city. “Why are we going?”

“We are honorary members,” he replies. “I went to high school with them and you…” he trails, trying to figure out how to phrase how you became an honorary member of their group of friends without bringing him up.

“Are the ex of one of their friends,” you finish for him. “You can say it, you know?”

“I don’t know, can I?” He arches a brow.

“Yes. I don’t deny the fact that Yoongi and I dated.”

“You just deny how much it affected you.”

“You mistake my amazing ability of moving on for denial,” you groan. “But oh shit. Wait. Does this mean that he’ll be there at the party?”

Taehyung huffs as he settles in his seat and looks at your worried eyes. “For someone who doesn’t seem to be in denial, you sure look a bit anxious that he might be there tonight. Didn’t you say you can be civil with your exes?”

“Yeah, I can,” you reply defensively. “I don’t know about him. But then again, he moved on first, so I doubt seeing me would affect him much.”

Your best friend lets out a breath, not wanting to argue. He’s learned long ago that when it comes to Yoongi, you’re dead set on many things - like the narrative that he moved on first, that he was so much happier without you, that dreams were always more important for him, whether it was yours or his. Taehyung tried to help you process that whole experience, especially the aftermath, as you went on dating one man after another after you found out about Yoongi dating some local musician.

But you always had a default answer, that you’ve always been that way - quick to fall in love and quick to fall out of it, and Yoongi was no exception. You met, fell in love, and while you technically didn’t fall out of love, the breakup left you no choice but to do just that; he was the one who insisted that you leave, after all, and you’d been the one too heartbroken that he didn’t love you enough to make you stay.

“Well then let’s just see what happens,” Taehyung shrugs. “We’ve got a game to watch, a party to go to, and friends to catch up with.”

“And a nice, peaceful home to retire to after tonight. I’ll need all the good energy before I see the rest of my family tomorrow,” you sigh.

Right, there’s that, Taehyung frowns. Your family’s too complicated that you insist you don’t want him to get sucked into the drama, hence why you don’t want him to go with you. But between that and the possibility of seeing your ex, he could only hope that during this trip, you won’t get your heart broken too early, too quickly, or too hard.

“How is it that the Pegasus have been playing here for months but it’s the first time we’re watching their game live?” Geumjae asks incredulously as he sips his beer.

“Because it’s the first home game of the season against the Thunders when I’m home and when Jungkook and Namjoon don’t have girlfriends to give their tickets to,” Yoongi explains to his older brother. “And well, I never asked before.”

“Well, good on us that you’re here and your friends currently don’t have girlfriends,” Geumjae laughs. “Also, you could totally ask. They’re your friends; I don’t think it would be that hard for them to get extra seats for us.”

“I’m not their only friend here. I’m sure a bunch of the guys from college would ask,” Yoongi shrugs.

“You’re not just their friend, Yoon,” his brother groans. “You played with them, you captained them, and led them to college championships.”

“Yeah, yet I’m the one hustling it out as a college coach while they’re playing pro,” the younger man huffs.

He doesn’t mean to be bitter. He loves those guys, hustled it out with them until the late evenings just to get the proper training and workout in almost a decade ago. He couldn't be any prouder when Jungkook and Namjoon got drafted to professional teams and then reunited as teammates with the Seoul Samsung Thunders just 2 years ago. Yoongi had been the encouraging senior who messaged them right away, happy for his peers for being together again just like old times. He won’t lie and say it didn’t sting a bit to be left out from the life they all dreamed of having, with him being the only one who didn’t get to achieve it alongside them.

“Well, if it matters at all, you’re doing amazing,” Geumjae tries to cheer his brother up. “I read online that many are calling your team to win it all this year. Imagine being the only person in your school’s history to be a champion player and coach? Not just anyone can say that.”

Yoongi hums, trying to let the thought comfort him. It doesn’t do much; coaching a college basketball team is leagues away from playing professionally. The energy is different, so is the hustle. Shooting hoops with the kids during training isn’t the same. The lights and the cheers as he sits on the bench calling plays isn’t the same either. He can at least say that with coaching, he’s able to shape and mentor the young ones, direct them to better paths, encourage them to reach their dreams, and to not settle for a life they’re not happy with or proud of. He’s got a bunch of players who got drafted last year and dedicated their first professional game to him, and that’s an indescribable feeling he’ll always hold onto. It reminds him that even if it wasn’t him, it was at least someone he cared about.

He watches as the players do their warmups on court before the start of the game. This isn’t the first time he’s watched live, but it’s the first time with Jungkook and Namjoon as teammates, so seeing them goof around and do the handshake that they used to do warms his heart a little. Maybe it’s this bit of joy that he needs to remind him that it’s okay, that even if life turned out differently for him, at least basketball is still part of his life. There’s more he wants, of course, but this is way better than nothing. He reminds himself at one point, he didn’t think he could ever set foot on a basketball court again.

The game finally starts and though he’s usually quiet whenever he watches games, he can’t help the small small cheer he makes whenever Jungkook or Namjoon scores or makes crucial plays. He still knows their moves, can still read Jungkook’s pump-fake, and can still tell by Namjoon’s stance if he’s gonna make that rare three. Though he was a shooting guard during his glory days, Yoongi still prides himself in his playmaking skills and knowing his teammates well, something that scouts used to rave about.

Yoongi sips his beer, no doubt enjoying the exciting match. He obviously wants the Thunders to win, but the Pegasus aren’t backing down, not letting themselves trail by more than 8 points. He’s in a bit of a trance, as he lets himself drown in the cheers of the crowd, imagining that it’s him leaving it all out on the court.

But as he looks up on the big screen during timeout, he feels like the air is being sucked out of him. His ears don’t betray them either, as the announcer calls on your name and Taehyung’s - “celebrity sightings,” he says, while you and your best friend wave to the camera and smile like the superstars that you both are. The cheers get louder and Geumjae joins them until he realizes.

“Shit, that’s your ex-girlfriend,” he whisper-shouts. He laughs at the scene of his brother practically choking on his drink. “Wow, she still has that effect on you, huh?”

“No, she doesn’t,” Yoongi says nonchalantly, desperately forcing his heart to slow its beating.

“Did you know she’s gonna be here?”

“I don’t keep tabs on her whereabouts, Geumjae,” he replies, suddenly sounding hard, defensive.

“Do you think she’s gonna be at the party?”

Fuck, the party, Yoongi slightly panics. Jungkook talked about the sort of reunion he’s throwing at his house after the game. Their old teammates will be there, as well as some other friends from college who are still in the city. You and Taehyung were honorary members of that group and Yoongi knows that you’re both invited, too.

“I guess,” he merely shrugs, looking like it doesn’t bother him much.

It shouldn’t. It’s been 6 years, and while he’d been the one to break it off, you’re the one who’s dated a lot since then, something he can’t fault you for. You’d obviously catch a lot of attention - you did catch his - not just for your charm and unbelievable beauty but for your talent as well. He’s not surprised that you’re rumored to be dating Kim Seokjin, said to be this decade’s most desired leading man and who also happens to be your good friend, the one who’d helped you out a lot during your years in university. Yoongi used to be a little jealous then, something he never told you, and well, he guesses it’s meant to be with you and Seokjin now, a man he could probably never live up to.

“Are you gonna be okay?” Geumjae breaks through his thoughts.

“Yeah. Why won’t I be?” Yoongi huffs, sinking back to his seat to watch the game that suddenly isn’t so interesting anymore.

His question is left unanswered and his brother resumes his cheers, no doubt invested in this match that’s now tied. But Yoongi drifts in and out, his eyes following the players up and down the court then mindlessly landing on you. You’re seated in a relaxed manner, the opposite to how you used to watch his games. He sees you silently cheer for the Thunders, too, and you giggle at Taehyung when you scream louder than you intended, your hand covering your mouth as you lean on your friend and he laughs along.

He could hear the sound of your laughter from across the gymnasium, as if the way the dulcet tone of your voice used to send shivers down his spine whenever you giggled in his ears was just yesterday. He shakes off the goosebumps he feels and tries to sit comfortably on the chair.

“Are you nervous?” Geumjae asks. “You’re awfully quiet.”

“Since when was I ever loud during a basketball game?” He shoots his brother an incredulous look.

“You may not make a sound but your body does,” the older man points out. “I could feel you buzzing earlier and cheering in that Yoongi way of yours but now,” he eyes him up and down, “your legs are just bouncing. And you're biting your nails again.”

Yoongi catches himself. He forces his leg to be still and tucks his hand under it. It’s a tell he has, and he has no doubt that his brother has caught on. Still, he lies. “The game’s close. I want the Thunders to win.”

“Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

“Yes, now can we just focus on the game?” Yoongi chides, not wanting to confirm whatever his brother’s suspicions are.

“Fine, but for the record, I know exactly why you’re nervous.”

“I don’t really care.”

Geumjae sighs as he watches his brother’s gaze go to you once more, unknowingly, perhaps, as Yoongi seems to shake himself off after every time he realizes that his eyes were locked on your direction. But he can’t blame the younger man. You entered his life and he fell, extremely hard, and letting you go was the most difficult thing he ever had to do. Yoongi doesn’t need to tell him though, but there’s enough of his younger brother’s broken pieces lying around for Geumjae to know that it was also something he regretted doing, and he wishes his brother was at least brave enough to admit all that.

The Thunders win by 5 points. It was nail-biting until the very end. It was Namjoon’s crucial offensive rebound and Jungkook’s 3-point shot that sealed the game for them, and Yoongi was present enough to witness those last few plays. He decides to enjoy this moment with his friends, knowing they’d be asking him about it later. If he’ll still go to the party. Somehow, seeing you again made him a little dizzy. It was still on the screen, but now he’s not sure he’ll know what to do when he sees you in person.

He and his brother let the crowds go before heading out separately. Geumjae’s car is parked elsewhere, and Yoongi decides to head to the washroom and pace his walk to the parking lot. Hands on his pockets and eyes glued to the floor, he hears a gasp, and he releases one himself when he sees you, hiding behind one of the vending machines as a group of fans at the end of the hallways starts walking towards your direction, wondering aloud where you went.

He sees the panicked look in your eyes and decides to stop the crowd before they come any closer.

“She headed that way,” he announces, pointing to the right. “There’s an exit there. She probably left already.”

You hear the disappointed sighs, and much as you don’t want to let your fans down - you’re not one to deny them autographs - there have been too many of them this afternoon and you weren’t mentally prepared to accommodate each one of them. The footsteps disappear not long after and you let out a sigh of relief. That was close, but you didn’t expect Yoongi, of all people, to be the one to stir them away.

You turn to him, about to say your thanks, but somehow the words get stuck in your throat. You recall being a giddy mess the very first time you saw him, with nibbled lips and palpitating heart as you watched him shoot baskets and dribble the ball like no one’s business, and you’d been a goner since then. But he was a lot thinner during that time. His hair was cut short and his eyes had this sharp, confident gaze that usually intimidated people. You eventually saw how they softened only for you, though, but you’ll always remember that summer and how he had you wanting him at first glance.

This man before you isn’t all that different. He still has the same sharp eyes, with his look penetrating right through your soul like he knows you and well, he does, which is also why he was quick to misdirect the crowd after he perhaps saw the look of worry on your face. His tiny nose is the same, so is his pale skin. But his hair is now long, pushed back in the middle as it softly reaches close to his shoulders. He’s a lot leaner; you can easily tell from what’s hiding behind his thin white shirt underneath his blue jacket. You recall him dressing mostly in monotone colors, so seeing him in something a little more striking is new. He’s gorgeous just like before, and you don’t really know why you expected that he wouldn’t render you speechless this time around.

“___,” he calls out. “Were they bothering you?”

“No, uh…” you stutter, hating yourself for suddenly being nervous. “There were just too many of them and they were getting quite close, I kind of panicked. Stupid, really. I should be used to it by now. More of them came and I just…”

“If they were invading your personal space then that’s not right,” he says, his tone so serious you mistake it for worry. “Did they touch you or anything?”

“Oh no! Nothing like that. I just got a bit overwhelmed.”

“Where’s Taehyung?” He asks, as you watch him walk to the vending machine where you’re hiding, tap his card, and then get the bottled water that falls out. He opens it and hands it to you as if he’d done this so many times before, and well, he actually has.

“He met up with a couple of friends,” you explain. “The crowd got to me right after and I kinda lost him, but I told him I’ll meet him outside, somewhere near where the players come out.”

“Hmm, okay,” Yoongi hums, looking away.

He should’ve expected you to look way more beautiful up close but he tends to underestimate his ability to be entranced by you. He’s surprised he even got any word out, but the worry crept in the moment he saw you look a little winded and he just wanted to make sure you were alright. You’re a celebrity, after all, and the city’s “Princess,” as they claim.

You look a little nervous though, and a part of him just wants to scold Taehyung for leaving you behind, seeing as neither of you looked like you had security with you earlier. But that shouldn’t be his responsibility anymore, he reminds himself.

“Thanks for the water, by the way,” you speak up. “How much was it?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks again,” you smile shyly. “So, uhm, do you know where the other exit is? I’m kind of lost.”

“Oh, uh… the one close to where the players go out is there,” he cocks his head to the left, towards a hallway behind swinging doors. “I can uh, I can show you where.”

“Ah, that would be great. Did you park close there, too?”

No.

“Yeah,” he lies. “Let’s go before more people see you.”

He opens the door and walks after you. It doesn’t help that the hallway suddenly feels much smaller and closed off because now, Yoongi has to listen to your footsteps and nothing else, since neither one of you chooses to talk.

What does he say to the woman he broke up with 6 years ago? Maybe he can say something about your recently concluded series. He thought it was really good. Is it weird to ask what your next project is? Perhaps. You probably can’t even tell him. How was it like being the leading lady this time? Fuck, he’s not a talk show host or anything like that.

He sees the end of the hallway before his mind can come up with another stupid question, and he rushes to the door before you do, catching you by surprise.

“Just wanted to make sure there’s no one to bother you,” he explains, as you exit the building with questioning eyes.

“Oh, thanks,” you smile shyly again.

He’s not used to it. He remembers the way your eyes used to gaze at him constantly, how your smile and laughter were all cheeky and flirty, how the tone of your voice was always so confident, so charming. He thinks that maybe like him, you’re just as surprised and unsure about seeing each other after so long. He doesn’t know what to make of things beyond that.

“Do you have someone to pick you up?” he asks, needing to prepare himself if, as a last resort, he’d need to drive you somewhere.

“Yeah, Tae and I were supposed to ride together but,” you pause, checking your phone for your best friend’s text message, “he rode off with his friends and said he’d meet me at Jungkook’s instead so I’m just waiting for the guys. There’s the—”

Party, Yoongi says in his head.

“___!” Jungkook’s loud voice cuts you off. He jogs up to you and puts an arm around your shoulders, unaware of the man in front of you who’s being blocked by a wall. “You ready to go? Tae said he went ahead.”

Yoongi makes his presence known with a low grunt, his eyes pacing from his friend to you. You both look a lot closer than he remembers, and Yoongi’s mind goes to that first time you all met, how Jungkook had announced during their team celebration that the “girl with the yellow scarf on her hair is so pretty” and that he’d wanted to ask you out. Of course, things turned out differently - you weren’t interested in the younger man. But that was years ago. Jungkook has had an impressive professional career and he lives in Seoul. Maybe things have changed for you.

You follow Yoongi’s eyes. Despite many people claiming that he’s difficult to read because of the default unconcerned, almost detached look he has for every situation, you think he’s actually pretty transparent.

Or maybe that’s just you. You’ve spent enough time with him to know his sound of annoyance and the meaning of his body language. You’ve memorized that pretty face of his at one point that you can tell the slightest parting of his lips and the tiniest drop of his eyes, which could mean that he’s confused, sad, or disappointed. Maybe all.

“Oh, we’re not…” you exclaim, surprising yourself, to the amusement of Namjoon, who suddenly appears next to you. “I mean, Jungkook and I aren’t… a thing.”

You promptly remove the man’s arm from your shoulder and try to decipher Yoongi’s look now. Is it relief? Does he believe you? Does he think it’s silly that you had to clarify that, which you’re wondering why you did?

“Okay,” Yoongi says.

Perhaps you’re wrong. You can’t tell right now what he’s feeling.

“We just… got to hanging out when I got drafted by the Thunders,” Jungkook now clarifies, which he quickly realizes is maybe making this awkward situation a lot worse.

You’re Yoongi’s ex-girlfriend after all, and Jungkook had been the one to reach out to you when he moved to Seoul, but not once did he try to pursue you all these years. He respects his captain too much and cares for what you both had, which is why he maintained his friendship with you even after the breakup.

“That’s nice to know,” Yoongi replies, his tone nonchalant like always.

He’s glad he can keep his cool that well, even if his heart was just about to explode at the thought of you possibly dating his friend. He doesn’t know why he cares, though, as he never really thought much about the so-called code that stated that exes were off-limits to friends.

He’s just about to turn around when Namjoon calls out. “Min, you’re still going to the party, right?”

Yoongi looks at you, who promptly looks away. Up until 10 minutes ago, he was about 80% sure he would. He didn’t think that being in close proximity to you would make him remember all sorts of things, and that itself is enough for him to run for the hills and avoid you. He won’t claim he did his best to forget about you - he at least tried, and that still counts - but he didn’t expect he’d ever get a chance to be near you, much less talk to you and be in the same place as you. Again.

But he looks at his friends’ eyes, both pairs unsure yet practically begging him to still go. He remembers these looks, and he swears it’s because he doesn’t want to let both of them down that he battles with the inner part of himself and decides to still go. It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with somehow finding out for how long you’re staying, and why you’re here in the first place.

“Yeah. I’ll see you guys there,” he replies, turning around now and heading towards his car on the opposite side of the parking lot.

You watch Yoongi walk away, unsure of why your heart is beating as fast as it is. It had been like that since you saw him after hiding from the fans, and even more so when you walked silently in the hallway to head outside.

You knew you were gonna see him, maybe even at the party, but not in the way you did. And all your confidence at not being bothered or affected with seeing him again melts away.

You weren’t prepared for how good he’d look, for how concerned he’d be over your safety, and for that hint of disappointment on his face at the thought of you being with Jungkook. Neither were you prepared for that incredibly tiny part of you that wants to know how he’s doing and if he’d managed to piece together the broken parts of himself and his dream that he so adamantly chose over you.

You survive the car ride by glaring at Namjoon every time he starts teasing you about panicking over Yoongi thinking that you were dating Jungkook, while the latter curses as he drives, claiming he survived one of the scariest moments of his life.

You arrive in Jungkook’s house in half an hour, a nice place he bought for himself because he said that Daegu will always be home for him. The sliding doors to the patio give it a spacious feel, and you see that a couple of his friends had already prepped the space, complete with beer kegs and beer pong tables, the way you remember they always used to party.

The 3 of you spot Taehyung who greets you, and the 2 men next to you proceed to narrate what happened, to your best friend’s shock and amusement. You also fill all of them in with the first part of the story about Yoongi finding you as you hid away from the crowd.

“How… symbolic,” Namjoon hums. “You meet at a basketball court in Daegu after a game while you were hiding from fans because you’re such a bigtime actress now. I mean, it’s quite ironic. The universe is out to tease you or something.”

You agree, it is. It’s times like this when you wish you didn’t believe in fate and destiny because doing so would just give you false hope that you and Yoongi may be meant for more than just those 2 years together. And you absolutely hate it because you can’t fall into that trap of thinking that you’re meant for a happy ending that includes him. That ship sailed a long time ago - 6 years and about 5 partners later.

But as Yoongi enters the house, his bowed head turning up to search the area before daintily tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, you start to think that maybe that ship decided to turn back around and sail towards you once again. He briefly meets your eyes before someone calls out to him, and you’re left to admire him from afar, cute button nose and impeccable side profile and all.

Taehyung pulls you by the arm and whispers in your ear. “Okay, so what’s our plan?”

“What do you mean, our plan?” You ask, realizing you’ve lost Yoongi as you glance in the direction of where he was, no longer finding him there. “Plan for what?”

“Yoongi, obviously,” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Do we avoid him, be civil, pretend you don’t think about him anymore, or act like the past 8 years didn’t happen and we don’t actually know him?”

“None of the above,” you groan. “What kinds of options are those?”

“Decent ones?”

“Nope. You’ve already had a lot to drink and I don’t trust you when you’re drunk.”

“Except you should. This is when I don’t hold back when it comes to you,” Taehyung answers.

“And you hold back otherwise?” You frown.

“Just when it’s about him. It was tough for a long time. I know sometimes it still is.”

You don’t have the heart to disagree. This man has been your best friend for a decade and he knows how you are, knows which pains of yours you’re willing to talk about and which ones you’d rather hide away. Your acting skills may be good but you know that Taehyung can see behind all the smiles and the detachment and the effort to look okay, and whatever it is he’s thinking, there’s a good chance he might be right. You’ve just never been brave enough to admit them.

The look of understanding you both share gets disrupted when cheers erupt in the middle of the living room, seeing that Seungkwan had just beaten Jungkook in beer pong. The pro player demands a rematch and the entire house cheers in agreement. Jungkook takes the next game but Seungkwan won’t back down.

“Let’s do it in pairs,” he challenges. “I take Joon.”

“Fine,” Jungkook says, his game face on, knowing there’s one other person he knows could win this with him. “I take the Captain.”

Cheers erupt once more as people push Yoongi to the center where the rest of the guys are. He shakes his head, seemingly uninterested in partaking in tonight’s festivities but goes anyway after much coaxing from everyone. He then does his handshake with Jungkook to the younger man’s insistence, and you watch Yoongi’s soft, shy smile appear.

And just like the very first time you saw that, you feel your heart thrum in excitement. There was always something special about it, and back then it was because he rarely did it, but he did it a lot when he was with you. It’s nice to see it during a moment like this - surrounded by his old friends while having fun with them. You’re glad he shows more of it now, and you wonder how many people fell harder for him because of it.

You watch from the sideline as the Jungkook-Yoongi pair score 4 straight. Seungkwan complains that Namjoon isn’t making any shots, prompting the older man to claim that he’s way better at dunking than shooting tiny balls like they’re jumpers. They eventually lose after all the theatrics but it’s enough to get the guests going, as you find yourself teasing both men as well.

You remember their house parties being this rowdy and this loud, given all the energy and testosterone that these athletes had so much of. That obviously hasn’t changed, and despite all of them having grown up, looking all mature and much more respectable, the naughtiness remains, especially once they’ve had too much to drink.

It’s why you find yourself surrounded by a bunch of the guys, asking for a photo with you to show off to their friends and families.

“I’m showing this to the guys at the office,” Seungkwan announces as he gets your approval over the selfie picture he took of you both. “They’re not gonna believe I went to college with an actress.”

“Uh, I didn’t go to college with you,” you laugh along with the others. “I studied in Seoul.”

“Then how the fuck do we know you?” He exclaims, no doubt drunk out of his mind at this point. You remember him having a short-term memory every time.

“He’s the Captain’s ex, dumbo!” Soon-young reminds him, another one of the younger guys who hasn’t drank as much but was never good at knowing what not to say. “Remember the summer before his final year? She was with us all the time.”

“Oh right. They were inseparable and looked so in love,” Seungkwan giggles, and at this point, the rest of the people just go with what he’s saying.

Not you though, neither does Yoongi, and neither does Namjoon, who slaps the back of Seungkwan’s head to loud-whisper that the ex-couple in question is right there.

“Shit, did they hear me?” Seungkwan wonders out loud and looks around before sipping his beer. “I meant it though.”

He laughs drunkenly, so do many others. There’s really only a handful of you who aren’t intoxicated, but right now you wish you were.

“Wait, they’re both here?” Seungkwan recovers, eyes now glassy.

He gasps when his gaze turns to you and then Yoongi, and he puts his arm over your shoulder and slightly drags you to the right so he could put his arm over Yoongi, too.

“I found them!” Seungkwan squeals, pushing both of you to face him. “Shit, you still look good together.”

“Alright, dude, that’s enough,” Namjoon finally steps in, pulling the inebriated man away. “Sorry,” he turns to you. “Don’t mind anything he said.”

Too late, you want to say, but you release an awkward laugh instead.

“They haven’t changed since college, huh,” Yoongi says, surprising you. “They still put us on the spot then leave us to deal with the aftermath,” he continues, watching as the group disperses to go drink and chat again.

You turn towards him and sigh in relief over the small smile he has on. You swear the tension was so thick earlier that you could cut it with a knife, but Yoongi doesn’t seem bothered. He looks calm like he always does, and just like those first few times, you take your cue from him. You try to release the tension from your body and smile.

“They should be banned from drinking when there are ex-lovers in the building,” you chuckle. “But I’m pretty sure he’ll be apologizing to you like crazy once he’s sober. Wish I could see that.”

“I can’t wait for that, too,” Yoongi hums.

A wave of silence envelopes you both. The sounds of your friends seem like white noise now, and with the background music on and the man next to you just sipping his drink, it’s oddly comforting.

You learned long ago that he has this amazing ability to do that - make people around them feel calm. There’s something so reassuring about him that remarks about your past don’t faze him, and now that’s rubbing off on you, as you feel the awkwardness slowly melt away.

You and Yoongi stand by the couch while the world around you continues. You’d stay in this bubble with him if it wasn’t so familiar, only because the familiarity scares you a little. You don’t want to know if anything else feels the same.

“I’m gonna look for Tae,” you say, breaking the silence.

You only need to look to your left at the sound of someone hooting to find your best friend downing another cup of some concoction, and by the sound of his laugh, you know this is the one that will do it for him. This is his point of no return. Anything he does after is not meant for many people to see; he has an image to protect, after all.

“Alright, that’s my cue,” you say, walking towards him.

You cup Taehyung’s face in your hands and tell him that the party’s over and you’ll take him home. He argues, but you remind him that he’s a celebrity and that he can’t have drunk pictures of him circulating online. His inebriated mind sort of gets it, and you take him in your arms and start looking around, trying to see which of the guys are the most stable one to drive.

“How are you going home?”

“Uh…” you turn to face Yoongi. “One of… them? Jungkook, Wooz, Soon-young all offered.”

“And they’ve all had a lot to drink,” he replies.

“Who here hasn’t?” You chuckle, eyes still searching the room. You don’t want to ask your safest option, which is the man in front of you. You’re not quite sure how your heart can handle that.

“Me,” he says so casually. “I just had one bottle.”

You know what he means, even more when he goes to Taehyung’s side to help you assist your drunk best friend. Yoongi doesn’t say anything else though; he just stands there while waiting for your reply. This is about safety, you remind yourself, and it has nothing to do with suddenly wanting to be in his presence just a little longer.

“Okay,” you reply, knowing he knows what you mean, too.

“Okay.”

All three of you say goodbye to your friends, all of whom give you smug looks, passing up on the teasing now given Yoongi’s displeased face after someone remarks that “mom and dad are taking care of their kid again.” This isn’t a new scene for them, either. Taehyung just tends to have a lot of genuine fun when he’s with his friends; it’s something you relate with after being in the industry you’re in.

You and Yoongi help Taehyung in the backseat where you sit, with your best friend’s head securely on your lap because he’s now complaining of a migraine. Your designated driver starts the car shortly after he checks on both of you.

“Neither of you took your cars?” He asks.

“Tae did but passed up on driving tonight,” you say. “I would’ve driven, had I known he won’t be able to control himself. I’m still waiting for my requested rental car.”

Yoongi merely hums and focuses on the road while you… well, while you sort of focus on him. Your position behind the passenger seat allows you a view from the side - from how his fingers drum the steering wheel to how he nibbles his lips. His eyes are focused on the road but you can tell he’s focused on both of you, too, with the way he turns to the back whenever Taehyung makes some garbled sound or just to ask you if you’re okay.

You watched him do this so many times before with you next to him, holding his hand and kissing his cheek at every stoplight. For someone who loves music, he never put the radio on when he drove you. He said it allowed him to focus on you, and that memory isn’t one that you really want to think of right now, especially since it’s silent in the car. You don’t know which ones you’d rather remember, though - the good ones or the bad. You suppose either would hurt regardless, and this wasn’t something that you prepared for.

You make it to your best friend’s house as you and Yoongi assist him to the gate to Mrs. Kim’s shock. She scolds a barely-awake Taehyung and apologizes profusely to Yoongi, who says she’s happy to see him in their home once again. As Mr. Kim takes his son up to his room, Yoongi turns to you and asks if you need a ride home.

“I’m sleeping over,” you say in a panic. “Someone’s got to take care of his drunk ass.”

“Okay,” Yoongi says, briefly meeting your eyes before nodding towards his car. “I’ll go ahead. It was nice seeing you again, ___.”

They’re simple words that any old friend would tell another after seeing them in years, but somehow they hit you differently. This entire evening hasn’t been a dream or some made up scenario in your head where you meet the man you loved after so long.

He’s here. With you. Looking at you in a way you’re very unfamiliar with - with a calmness in his eyes and a hint of care and acceptance, as if he’s glad you’re here but that he’s well aware of the years between you, of the years that passed by, of the years that changed you both.

You don’t respond fast enough because before you know it, he’s turning around, ready to head out the door.

“It was nice seeing you, too, Yoongi,” you say softly.

But he hears it, stops walking for a while, and then opens the door and walks out.

You wonder if he’d said something the day you left, would you have stopped and turned around? Or would you have kept walking?

But thinking about that won’t do you any good, so you turn away as well and head upstairs.

Outside, Yoongi steps on the gas, turns to the next corner, and then stops the car. He clasps his hands together so they’d stop shaking, and he lets himself breathe for the first time tonight. He’s kept his cool long enough, but after everything - the party, the teasing, the car ride - he doesn’t think he can hold the emotions in any longer, and he doesn’t even know what they are.

Longing? Sadness? Regret? Is it the unspeakable feeling of fear at the thought of you dating one of his friends who might actually be good for you? Is it relief at the idea that letting you go was the best thing that he could’ve ever done for you? Is it confusion over wanting so badly to take you in his arms but not wanting to feel your touch, knowing it would remind him of everything he’s tried to forget?

Yoongi lays his head on the headrest and takes a breath. You’re so beautiful, as if some light shines on you wherever you go. It’s probably the glow you emit; he’s told you that before but you always said he was just teasing. He sees it even more now.

But it’s also the crinkle of your eyes when you smile that sweet smile of yours that makes things feel familiar, and because of that, uneasy. It’s that honey sound of your voice; he heard it as you laughed during the party and joked around with everyone. It’s that captivating look you have, the one that says you know something but you want to know more; he felt that look when he entered the house and as he drove you earlier.

He wonders if you saw past him, past his nonchalance and calm demeanor. You were always so good at that - knowing there was more behind his passiveness, knowing how to get a reaction from him, knowing which buttons to push so he’d open up and let you in.

He doesn’t know if he should be afraid that you still know how to do it, or if he should revel in it because he’s missed you, more than he could ever say and more than he’d ever care to admit.

But beyond all that, he’s sure that one of his emotions is happiness. Every time you talked about work and being able to watch yourself on screen - he swears he didn’t eavesdrop but that he just happened to be there - there was that excitement that felt like the continuation from when you used to talk about your big dreams with him.

You got what you wanted and you worked hard to get to where you are and he knows you’re proud of yourself and that’s all he’s ever wanted. Seeing that smile - he knows. Letting you go was the best thing he’s ever done for you.

“What are you doing here?”

Taehyung’s hoarse voice forces your eyes off the ceiling onto your side where he’s currently hugging his pillow, messy hair and pouty lips on display.

“Trying to get some rest after I saved your drunk ass last night,” you bitterly respond. “I got to you before any compromising photos or videos were taken. You’re welcome.”

“Hmm, thanks,” he groans. “But uh, why are you here? Didn’t you say you wanted proper rest in your house before seeing your family today?”

“Right, uh… you see. Yoongi drove us here, and then he asked if I wanted a ride home but I kinda panicked and said I’m sleeping over so… Here I am!” You laugh, unconvincingly. “My rental car’s on the way here. I’ll drive to my house and then go to my dad’s.”

“Ugh, you’re so dumb,” he says, sinking into his comforter. You gasp in response. “That was your chance to be alone with him but you didn’t take the offer. We both know you wanted to.”

“Tae, being drunk and not holding anything back doesn’t mean you can just assume things like that,” you respond, sitting up and frowning at him. “I didn’t want to be alone with him, that’s why I’m here!”

“Why didn’t you want to be alone with him?” He answers back.

“Uhm, why would I want to?” You ask incredulously. “Since when was getting in a car alone with an ex ever a good idea?”

“Why? You’re afraid you’d kiss him if you did?”

You scowl at your best friend. “I should’ve left you there drunk with possible penis drawings on your face.”

“Just being honest. It’s not like you’ve never done that with him before,” he shrugs.

“I hate you.”

“I know. But you’ll love me later on. At least I’m still half asleep.”

You push him awake, the stress heightening now as the previous night plays in your head.

“Tae! What happened to my hi, goodbye plan?!” You groan. “I was literally just supposed to say hi and then be civil, like, acknowledge his presence but not be affected by it. But then we had some small talk and he drove us home.”

“We all know it was a denial plan,” he huffs. “It was bound to fail.”

“Gee, thanks. You’re being incredibly helpful right now,” you frown again.

“Fine,” he grumbles, sitting now. “You had small talk, he drove you here. How are those affecting you and why are you making it a big deal?”

“I’m not making it a big deal,” you point out.

“You kinda are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You are because that’s how things started before. And you’re afraid that one small misstep will cause you to fall for him all over again, fast and hard, because that’s how you are when it comes to him.”

“You’re hungover and tired so your judgment is impaired,” you say, crossing your arms. “You remember what happened after all that. I’ll be perpetually grateful that you never pushed me to talk about it unless I was drunk and couldn’t remember things but I was heartbroken, Tae. And then I was numb. It took a while before I started to feel again.”

“I know,” he says, taking you in his arms now as he holds you like a baby - a rare occurrence, as this often happens the other way around. “And I can never fault you for it because even if it was like that summer fling that only happened in the movies, I know you loved him, genuinely and intensely, and a love like that stays with you. But he’s got a good life here, ___, and you’ve got an amazing one in Seoul. You just have to remember why it didn’t work out in the first place and make sure you don’t fall into that trap again. Just… acknowledge that. For your sake. And then do what you need to do so you don’t make the same mistakes again.”

Enveloped in his warmth, you take in your best friend’s words. He may still be hungover and may also be confused but his comfort never seizes, and it’s one of the reasons why you love him dearly.

“So yeah, good on you I guess for not taking that ride with him. Maybe staying away and keeping your distance might be good,” he adds.

Your silence somehow alarms him, so he nudges you. “It’s a good idea, right?”

“I don’t know. Suddenly I feel like staying away and keeping my distance will let him know that it still affects me. He’ll always know me like that,” you sigh, hugging him tightly for more comfort. “And there’s this part of me that wants to show him that I’m fine, you know? That even with everything that happened between us, I walked away from it knowing what I deserve, and that’s someone who’ll fight through life with me. He didn’t and that’s on him but he had his reasons, and looking back, maybe he was right. Maybe he had to let me go, and maybe - because I loved him genuinely and intensely - I want to show him that it wasn’t all in vain. And that I’m happy. Even without him.”

“You don’t need to prove anything to him, you know?”

Maybe I want to prove it to myself, you don’t say. There’s a stubbornness in you that doesn’t go away.

“This isn’t about him, is it?” Taehyung levels his head with you.

For someone hungover, he still knows you pretty well.

You just sigh and fall back in his arms. He doesn’t push you. He just hugs you again until you both fall back in bed and he can comfortably curl his body all over you because it’s Taehyung and he likes to do this.

“Just be careful, alright?” He pleads.

“You know I also kinda don’t have a choice,” you reply. “It’s a small town and we’re bound to see each other. Jungkook and Namjoon have a game here again in a few weeks and that means another get together.”

“Yeah, but you know what I mean.”

You hum. “Promise me you’ll be by my side whatever happens?”

“Always, you stubborn woman. I’m the one person who’ll never leave you even if you push me away.”

The lunch with your family is how you expect it to go - with your older sisters making some backhanded comments about your fame and how you’ve been “too busy” to even visit, and your father trying to dissolve the tension. He’s at least genuinely curious about how you’ve been, asking if you’re eating well and getting enough rest. Your stepmom raves about your drama series and shares that she cried during the finale.

“Why did he have to go back to his planet?” Garam’s 7-year old asks after your stepmom narrates what happened.

“His time on earth was up,” you explain. “He finished his mission and he had to leave.”

“But why didn’t he stay if he was happy?”

“Because he had a responsibility in his home,” you smile. “He wasn’t made for this world.”

“He didn’t have a choice, sweetie,” Garam adds after her daughter comments that it was sad. “That’s understandable. Some people leave because they’re no longer happy with those around them. Or because their dreams are more important than those they supposedly love. Isn’t that sadder?”

“It is. Don’t leave me, Mama,” the little one pouts.

“Oh sweetie, I never will. I don’t leave people that I love,” Garam responds, glancing at you to make a statement.

You zone out after that, not wanting to engage with your sisters anymore. You play with their kids, though, who get excited when they see you on TV. You don’t want to treat them like you hold a grudge against them even if you do so with their mothers. Your sisters continue to do that with you - resent you when it’s your mom they’re really angry at for leaving your already unhappy family after she got her dream job in Paris. You were never angry though but you did sort of follow in her footsteps, and your sisters hated you even more because of that.

“Are you staying for dinner?” Your father asks, the hope in his eyes hurting you.

Things weren’t going well with your parents for a while, giving your mom more reason to leave, but you always wished that he had done more for you to feel loved in the home that started to become toxic after it fell apart, but you suppose he was just trying to heal his own broken heart after his wife left. It felt like your sisters weren’t going to forgive you when you decided to leave yourself, and he just let you walk away without making sure you knew he still loved you despite your decision.

He’s moved on now, though, and happy with someone who prioritizes him and his needs. But too much time and distance can pull people apart - you can see them without the desire of being with them. That’s the reality with you and him now and there’s not much you can do about it.

“No, I’ve got other plans,” you respond, glancing at your sisters who return your look with bitterness. “I’ll see you at grandpa’s tomorrow.”

You drive around for half an hour with no destination in mind. It’s nice to see how much this place has changed and discover which parts of it still feel the same.

You pass by an antique shop - the antique shop, a generations-old family-run store that used to be the hub of imported furniture that the townspeople once flocked to. It’s now a speciality store that still sells one-of-a-kind items but it also refurbishes old pieces. You see a poster on the window that’s promoting woodworking workshops. You won’t be surprised to find out whose idea that was.

A man briefly exits, and you stop near the front, wanting to just take it in. He’s got more gray hair now and walks a little slower but he looks just like you remembered - soft crinkled eyes, comforting smile, a look that you know all too well. You decide to enter, as you’re desperate for something - anything - that feels more like home than the one you just came from.

“May I help you?” The man asks.

“A greeting and a hug would do,” you look up at him and smile.

“___?!” He gasps, walking outside the counter to get closer to you. “Is that really you, my dear?”

“Yes it is, Mr. Min,” you smile, returning the hug that you requested. “Just passing by my favorite antique shop in town. How are you doing?”

“Great! Business is stable and I’ve still got a lot of fight in me to continue,” he chuckles. “How about you? The big city treating you good?”

“It is,” you reply. “I think I’m doing quite okay there.”

“Ah, well it should be treating you amazingly. That’s what you deserve.”

You continue the conversation, with you asking about his latest projects and him, talking about his furniture and wood like his children, pride laced in his voice every time. He asks you about your latest series and if you’ve met his favorite actors and you indulge him. His laughter is music to your ears. You remember spending time here where he worked on his pieces while you talked about your favorite movies.

“Does my son know you’re here?” He asks after a beat of silence.

“He does. I saw him last night. He looks well.”

“He does, doesn’t he? It took a while but he’s doing much better than before - smiling, joking around, helping me at the shop, talking about basketball again. It’s nice to see.”

The words hit you in ways you didn’t expect. Breaking up with Yoongi was tough to get over. Those last few months had been incredibly hard and so many times you thought that maybe if you’d been more patient, maybe things would’ve turned out differently.

But you remember how during those last days with him, he’d lost the glimmer in his eyes and the softness of his smile. Not even you could bring those back. His passion for things just dwindled; he stopped wanting more, stopped wanting you, stopped thinking that things could still work out for him after what he suffered through.

You’d kept in touch with Namjoon and Jungkook at their insistence, and they’d been the one to update you on how Yoongi was doing. Not a lot of details but just general things like the jobs he took and that he was keeping himself busy and that he was trying to get back on the court. It wasn’t with unpleasant stories, though - you learned about his new girlfriend from them, and that he didn’t play basketball for awhile, and that during the toughest days, he considered giving it up altogether.

You knew he’d done well. You learned that from the guys, too. But hearing it from his father is different; you can’t imagine how it must’ve been like for Mr. Min to see his son start to change from what he used to be. But you know that as the good father that he is, he made sure that Yoongi knew he wasn’t alone.

“And that’s good to hear,” you say. “Yoongi deserves all the happiness this world can give. I’m glad that he’s found his joy in basketball again it seems. And that he found it here.”

“He has, but I guess something will always be missing. He’s a lot better but he’s not the same. A parent would know, you know? The flame doesn’t shine as bright,” Mr. Min answers, the tinge of sadness in his eyes hurting you a little.

But you just nod. His words seem to mean more but you don’t want to know what it is.

“Dad, what did you want me to look at?”

Yoongi’s voice echoes in the shop and you can’t help but turn to him who’s just entered and looks as shocked as his father was earlier.

You have a soft smile on, and Mr. Min knows not to intervene.

“Oh, nothing,” he says, thinking that the new wood he acquired could wait. “Just watch over the counter for me while I check something inside, alright Son?”

He doesn’t let the younger man answer and just heads to the back, leaving you and Yoongi alone. He walks closer but keeps his distance. It’s enough for you to appreciate the softness of his face, though. His presence had always been reassuring; you see him twice and you’ve felt more comfort with him than you have in months. You don’t know how he does it, but that shouldn’t surprise you anymore. This isn’t the first time anyway.

“Is Taehyung alright?” He breaks the silence.

“Recovering, but more from his parents giving him shit for drinking too much,” you chuckle. “He got an earful and Mrs. Kim said she won’t let him in the house next time he gets that drunk. He’s doing chores as punishment.”

“Ah, well it’s been a while. It was nice to spend time with everyone again.”

“It was,” you smile now.

“And you? Are you okay?” He asks, sincerity laced in his low voice.

“Yeah, of course.”

It’s the hesitant nod and the way your eyes look at anything but him, and he knows that whatever happened after last night is something you want to forget or seek comfort for. So he asks.

“So what made you come here? To the shop, I mean.”

“I was driving around. It didn’t register to me right away that I was in the area,” you respond. “And this place was always so calming for me, you know? The smell of wood, your dad’s stories…”

You.

“So I thought I’d come in”, you continue. “He hasn’t changed. It’s nice to see him.”

Yoongi always wondered what parts of you remained the same and which parts didn’t.

Perhaps the playfulness tempered a bit. You seem a little more anxious than he remembers, too. There’s this sophistication about you that was always too good for this small town, and he sees that even more now. Your smile is still soft but it isn’t as bright. He won’t deny that it still makes his heart race, though.

You have a habit of going somewhere familiar to seek comfort. You always looked for it in places, he noticed - in that dingy convenience store near your school, in your town’s secondhand bookstore even if you don’t like reading, in the Opera House where you and your mom used to go to. Yoongi learns now that that hasn’t changed at all. You’re in his dad’s store, a place you always wanted to go to after spending time with your family, and he supposes that’s where you came from.

He doesn’t know if he’s still someone you find comfort in and he doesn’t know if you even want to spend time with him after all these years, but he doesn’t have the heart to just let you walk out of here not knowing if you’re truly okay.

He hated leaving you alone then when things weren’t good. You didn’t always want to talk but you said once that just hearing him breathing on the other end of the phone or just having his hand over yours made you feel better. He may not be the right person now but he’s still someone, and that’s always better than no one.

You eye the door, ready to leave, but his call of your name prompts you to look back at him.

“Do you have somewhere to be?” He asks.

“No, not really,” you reply.

“Would you like to grab some coffee?”

The words are familiar. You hate that you remember everything about it.

“Just coffee?” You ask, almost teasingly.

He chuckles softly and meets your eyes, and somehow a part of you thinks that you shouldn’t do this. But you’re glad he asked in the first place.

“Yes, ___. Just coffee.”

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#yoongi fic #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #min yoongi #yoongi fanfic #bts suga #yoongi fanfiction #exes to lovers #exes au

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sabbathbloodysabbeth · 3 months

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Pheromone Friday

Quick summary: Pheromone Friday is the day where my ask box is open to specific requests that are omegaverse related. (anything is accepted in my ask box on Fridays, if you don't have an omegaverse idea but have a stranger things themed request than ill still accept but it will be done after the omegaverse requests :)

Rules: Be respectful, and don't submit anything that is incest, pedophilic, racist, homophobic, misogynistic, etc. (basically don't be a bigot)

Smut Related: I'm open to writing pretty much anything, but if I discover something that I feel uncomfortable with i have the right to decline. I personally will say no to watersports and nonconseual sex.

Pairings: Romantic wise I'm only willing to do Steddie at the moment, platonic wise ill do any platonic relationship.

Last but not least: clarify if the ship will be Alpha/Alpha, Alpha/Omega or Omega/Omega. (I’m willing to do all of them.)

Anyone can participate! Or adapt this for their own use. I don't have a tag list of people who I would think would be interested yet but yeah :)

Example of my omegaverse drabbles:

Alpha Eddie who sells voice clips (no video, no photos) of his moans, soft wines, shaky breaths and whimpers somewhere online for omegas. Somehow Alpha Steve accidentally comes across it and knots his toy before he even hits the five minute mark.

Because of how Eddie sounds, Steve thinks Eddie might be the submissive one when something something happens and they meet for the first time. That was his first and last mistake, and now he’s (consensually) being recorded as Eddie takes him from behind.

Now Eddies made good money, but not nearly as much as Steve brings in. the sound clip of Steve crying out when Eddie’s knot catches for the first time has already made 30k

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deanbrainrotwritings · 7 months

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— HAND OF BLOOD

SUMMARY : “Hey can i request one where the reader is Dean Winchester wife and she just found that she is whatever supernatural creature and him just cuddling with her and help her using her new powers?? something fluff and cute” - anon

PAIRING : dean winchester x powered!reader (f.)

CHARACTERS : unnamed villain, sam winchester, castiel

WARNINGS/TAGS : fluff, angst, comfort, trauma

WORD COUNT : 1.0k

A/N : bullet for my valentine song title. trying some new ways of writing bc university sucks, anyway, you can imagine the reader to be whatever magical/super-powered being from the show, I didn’t specify x

“Stop holding back, you could… you know… do something for me and I will let you go, alive,” the dark voice of the monster before you made a shiver run up your spine. Your stomach churned nervously, but you gave in anyway.

“Do what?” You sobbed, tugging helplessly at the chains around tour wrist.

You felt a warm breath by your cheek and you inhaled sharply, your body instantly tightened with stress.

“A little bit of magic,” the words brushed against your ear and neck. And you didn’t think you could shiver any harder than you already were, but your body shook with a shudder and your muscles clenched tighter, somehow.

“I can’t do magic,” you whispered with defeat, trying not to cry when a hand squeezed around your throat. “I’m not a witch,” you struggled to breathe through the tight grip.

Whatever the thing was that held you captive, squeezed your throat so tight you could feel your frantic heart beat against its palm. Then, the grip loosened with a frustrated growl, an impatient sound, desperate.

“But you are something,” it insisted through clenched teeth, “something very powerful.”

“I’ve never even… I think you’ve got the wrong person,” you argued weakly. Your body slowly relaxed and you accepted whatever your fate was.

You didn’t bother letting your eyes fall shut, you didn’t bother trying to squint and making something out of your surroundings. The pitch black room revealed nothing to you. All you could smell was dank air and dirt, hear the echo of yours and your captor’s breath against concrete walls and floor. The occasionally clink of the metal that bound you to the floor, the rustle of leaves with the shuffle of feet.

“I don’t have the wrong person. I think you’ve been holding back,” the voice grinned and two hands pressed against either side of your temples. “Why don’t we go back to the biggest hits? To all those times you’ve felt powerless?”

“You know… this doesn’t change the way I see you,” Dean promised, kissing your forehead. He absentmindedly played with a strand of your hair and kissed your cheek when you sniffled.

“I can’t… what if I can’t control it?” You whispered, wiping away tears with your sleeve as they flowed from your eyes with no end in sight.

“Hey, you’re such a control freak, I doubt you’ll let your powers beat you,” Dean grinned in attempts to cheer you up, but you were barely able to muster up a smile. You generally found Dean hilarious, something he knew well enough to find a way to cheer you up easily. Even when you had no idea what he was saying, he always made you laugh. It was always that dorky, boyish grin of his that made you crack up.

Dean shimmied down on the bed so he could face you. He sighed and gave you a weak smile. You were embarrassed of your wet eyes and swollen lips, but you knew Dean wasn’t judging you, and that’s why letting yourself fall apart was always so easy to do when you were with him.

“We’ve gone through worse and we’ve come out pretty damn alright.” His hand landed gently on your flushed, hot cheek. You finally looked into his gentle eyes, through watery vision and sticky lashes he still looked beautiful. “I promise that I will help you in any way that I can, sweetheart. So will, Sam. And so will Cas. We’re a family, you’re not gunna do this alone. Okay?”

Dean waited for you to nod. You almost couldn’t breath with the way he looked at you. With his soft green eyes glowing with determination, and kindness, and empathy. It hurt so much that you just nodded, and buried your face in his chest so that all the emotions in his eyes wouldn’t get to you and make you break down again.

He held you close to him and chuckled softly. He pressed his lips to the top of your head and soothingly rubbed your back while you clung to the warm layers on his body.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Dean gasped out a laugh, hunching over with his hands on his knees. “You’re not dangerous at all, you just suck at this. So… don’t be nervous.”

You glared at Dean as he struggled to breathe and wheezed out another laugh. Sam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with one arm crossed over his firm chest. Even Cas seemed irritated with Dean; he rolled his eyes and let his hands slap against his thighs in defeat, his powers slowly fading.

“This isn’t easy and you’re doing great,” Sam encouraged you and squeezed your shoulder reassuringly when he made his way across to you. “Cas, again,” he tipped his head towards you and returned next to Dean to elbow him in his ribs.

Dean squirmed and wiped tears of laughter from his eyes, his eyes shimmering with flirtatiousness when they opened back up to you and the glare you sent his way. He wiggled his brows and smacked his tongue above the roof of his mouth, and you couldn’t resist the tiny smile from growing on your face. Or the blush that began to heat up your face, the skipped beat of you once fearful heart, the clench of your stomach. Yup, Dean still had it.

“Try to… um, just don’t hit us… well, you can hit Dean,” Sam snickered, ignoring the glare Dean shot at him. You grinned when Dean glanced back at you and you picked yourself. He sneaked behind Sam to hide from you and the way you unfortunately sucked at using your abilities. Most of your anxiousness disappeared, and Cas smiled reassuringly when he powered up.

You didn’t think things could be any better, all things considered. New powers, new you. But most importantly, your relationship with Dean, Sam, and Cas seemed to get better in the past seven months, like this one bad thing that happened to you didn’t get between you… instead, it wove the four of you together, and squeezed tight like a knitted blanket. Despite the fear, the anxiety, the uncertainty of what you were now, you felt warm, safe, and secure. With the people you call your family.

You had Dean to thank for that. And everyone else’s for falling into your life so perfectly.

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littlespacereader · 2 months

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Okay, so! @shadowlord23 and I were rant and raving about criminal minds, you know, as one would. We were talking about (spoilers) the season where Spencer gets arrested and is stuck in prison. @shadowlord23 made a great point to say “Well what if that happened and he was a caregiver?” CUE MY BRAIN EXPLODING WITH POSSIBILITIES!

I will warn those about to read this. It’s not the usual happy and fluffy fics I usually write. While I did give this a happy ending, the rest of the fic is sad and definitely hurt/comfort up until that point. Please be warned it’s a sad story for the most part.

While in my eyes I see it as Safe for work because I never write anything NSFW or anything +18, I didn’t put the SFW tag on here because of it’s darker tone. But please know that is doesn’t have any graphic violence or anything +18.

This story is one I enjoyed greatly writing! I loved the different type of story, one a bit angsty. Please let me know if you enjoy it! Thank you again for the idea @shadowlord23 ! 🥹🙌

Through the Glass📞

Caregiver! Spencer Reid & GN Little! Reader (plus BAU Family)

Tags - tantrums, lots of crying, hurt and comfort, BAU family unite!, hugs, forehead kisses, happy ending, angst…a lot of it, but a strong CG and Little connection,

TW- mentions of violence, mentions of weapons, talk of police, being ripped away from a cg, going to a prison

They explained the plan me not once but three times. Its supposed to be a simple, Spencer goes into the drug deal alone, he pretends to be the seller in order to get the buyer to show up and somehow manages to get this buyer to confess to the murder of our cases victim.

But there was plenty of things that could go wrong. What if the buyer got spooked and shot at him? What if the government didn’t agree with what we were doing? What if-

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Spencer asked looking concerned.

Spencer and I sat together on the bed in our hotel room. Apparently this plan had already been approved by the team…all but me.

“You told the team first because you knew I wouldn’t be okay with it.” I stated the facts plain and simply. I don’t lift my head up, instead I play this plan over and over in my head.

Spencer sighed before nodding his head, “I know it’s risky-.”

“Risky?! Risky isn’t even the word for it! Spencer you could get shot, arrested or kidnapped?!” I look into his eyes, frantic and scared.

“I know. But you also know that all of that could happen outside of this case too.”

“It doesn’t make it okay…”I cross my arms and look away.

“It doesn’t.” Spencer sat closer, wrapping an arm around me, pulling me into a hug.

Spencer wasn’t a hugging type of person but with me he’s the most cuddly person alive. He knew I needed the comfort in this moment, needed the closeness.

“I just-…I just don’t want anything to happen to you.” I turned and cried into his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“And nothing will happen. The team will be monitoring everything. You will be monitoring everything with the team. But…”

“But what?”

“But if something was to happen-“

“Don’t say that! You said-.”

“Nothing is going to go wrong but I also don’t want to leave you without knowing what to do if something did happen.” Spencer quickly explained. “If something did go wrong, I would want you to listen to either your Uncles or your Aunts, okay? They would know what to do.”

I shook my head. I didn’t want to think about this. The BAU is my family. Rossi, Hotch, and Morgan are my uncles while Emily, JJ and Garcia are my aunts. But I didn’t want to go to Uncle Hotch or Aunt Emily. I just want him to be okay.

“B-But you’re going to be okay?”

“I’m going to try my hardest to be okay.” He hugged back tightly. “In and out. Then after we’re done and back home, I promise a certain someone that we would go to the aquarium right?” He said, bouncing the Little in his arms.

“To see the sharks?” They lifted their head up.

“Yes sweet love to see the shark. Just like you wanted. It’s a date, just you, me and the sharks. A Caregiver and Little date. And if it’s a really nice day I may be persuaded to get someone some ice cream after.”

He knew bargaining wasn’t the best tactic when it came to discussing something so important but he knew it would put Y/N mind as ease for the time being. Soon enough they started to relax a bit more in his arms. The once worried adult turned calm Little in his arms.

“And see the fishy?” They lifted their head off his shoulder.

“Yeah all the fish you can imagine!”

“Nemo?”

“Yup. I’m sure they’ve got Nemo there. Maybe even Dory.”

“Wow!”

“I think they also have jellyfish and a starfish.”

“Like Patrick?”

Spencer laughed, “Yes sweetheart just like Patrick.”

“But for now my starfish has to go to bed. We have a big day tomorrow.” Spencer brought them into his arms and laid them down on the bed with him, their head resting on his chest. He leaned over and turned off the lamp.

The two sat like that, just holding onto each other before the stressful day tomorrow planned on bringing.

Out of the darkness, a simple question.

“You’ll be okay, right?”

“I’ll be okay Y/N,” he leaned down and kissed their forehead, “I’ll be okay.”

~~~

There’s a lot of problems with this mission. For one, the BAU was working in a country with a government that wasn’t the fondest of America. Their government is mostly corrupt, and while they knew of our presence and what our case was about, there’s a whole lot of trust issues between the two of us.

The next problem was the setup itself. The team and I would be set up far away from Spencer. Close enough to see the setup with binoculars but far away that yelling would have no real reach. This made it so we could spy on everything but have cover so it wouldn’t create suspicion. The biggest issue with this is it made it so if something went wrong we would be too far away to do much about it.

That plus the million other probabilities played in my head on loop. With the binoculars in hand I looked again to the setup, knowing Spencer would be arriving soon.

“Y/N?”

Morgan placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. Everyone on the team must’ve known I was beyond stressed about this plan. And if they didn’t, they could just profile me and tell immediately. Can’t get away with anything when your Cargiver and Aunts and Uncles are profilers.

“Doing alright there kid?”

And if all else failed and the profiling didn’t help, then the fact they’re all Caregivers would’ve given them all they need to know about me.

It wasn’t a secret to the team that I’m a Little. They’ve all known for years, some even babysitting me. They still respect me as a member of the BAU regardless of my need for regression.

“Yeah, just nervous.” I reply back.

“Really? Because I couldn’t tell. I thought everyone grips binoculars that tightly.”

I looked down at my white knuckles around the binoculars and quickly let them go.

“Y/N, Spencer is going to be-.”

“If you say ‘Spencer is going to be fine’ I’ll lose it.” I quickly say, nerves getting to me.

“Sorry Morgan you don’t deserve that. I just-…” I look out to the scene once more before looking back to him, “They couldn’t have chosen someone else to do this? Like someone not on our team? Someone who’s not my Caregiver?”

“I know, I agree with you. But the higher ups fought Rossi and Hotch tooth and nail to get this setup underway. The government seems to really want this guy in for questioning.”

Before I had a chance to argue, Hotch walked over and interrupted, “Everyone get into positions, Reid is on his way.”

And so it begins. Spencer’s car pulls up to the building. He gets out and immediately goes into the building. JJ and Hotch sit together listening to the microphones hidden in the building while I watch the building with Morgan, while Emily and Rossi monitor all the other areas surrounding it.

20 minutes goes by with nothing, no sight of the unsub or anyone else. My nerves start to get to me. My binoculars shake as I hold them up again, looking at the building once more.

“The unsub is here, 3 o’clock.” Emily calls out.

I turn my binoculars to look and sure enough there he is, white suv pulling up to the building. They enter the building and from there I feel as though I can’t breathe.

JJ relays to us in bits and pieces what’s being said and what’s happening. I keep my eyes on the building hoping to just see Spencer give us the signal to move in.

“Guys we’ve got activity at 9 o’clock.” Morgan calls out.

“What?” I turn my head to look. There shouldn’t be any activity outside of the building, not before we move in.

“What the hell is that?!” Rossi calls out angrily.

I turn my binoculars to look. Not one but six black SUV’s speed towards the building. I look in horror towards the team.

“Who is that?!”

“I don’t know.” Morgan replies looking through his own binoculars.

“They’re going to mess with the setup! What if the unsub shoots Reid? What if these people shoot him?” I start to yell out, but no one seems to hear. Everyone’s eyes are on the building as the SUVs pull up.

Once the SUVs reach the building squad patrols exit the car and start rushing into the building. Men and women in swat gear and assault rifles storm the building from the outside. The SUV outside turn their lights on.

Hotch grabs an extra pair and look to the building as well, “This isn’t drug related. They’re government swat teams.” Hotch almost sighs saying. He knew the implications, this was about to get a lot more complicated.

I kept looking towards the building with my binoculars. The world around me almost frozen in fear.

“Doesn’t the government know we’re working out here?” JJ asked.

“They do but they have jurisdiction over us when it comes to crime related issues.” Rossi replied.

“What the hell does that mean?” Morgan asked, getting angry himself.

“It means whatever happens is out of our hands till we reach an agreement with their government.” Hotch sighed again before looking to me.

I wasn’t listening to a word they were saying. I couldn’t. Reid hadn’t come out of that building yet and I wasn’t going to move till he did.

Then suddenly…

The swat patrol pushes the Unsub from the building, handcuffed and bleeding from his head. “They’ve got the Unsub in custody! Maybe Spencer talked to them.”

But just as I finished my sentence, another swat officer came out of the building with Spencer, hands behind his back cuffed, a black eye and a bleeding lip. The sight made my heart stop.

“They’ve…They’ve got Reid.” I say looking in horror.

“What?!” JJ grabbed a pair of binoculars and looked as well.

“They’re arresting him too. They must think he’s in on it.” Morgan tried to reason.

“W-We can go over there and tell them he’s not!” I put the binoculars down. “Come on, we can get in the SUV and tell them!” I practically begged to Hotch, pulling on his arm. But by the looks on his face, the answer was one I wasn’t going to like.

“Y/N,” Hotch said sincerely, trying to take my hand but started shaking my head, back up as tears began to fall down from my face.

“No! No! We can all get in the SUV and we can go get him! He can’t just be arrest for something he didn’t even do?!” My regression wrapped around me like a vice as my panic blossomed. What’s as going to happen to my Caregiver?!

“Y/N we don’t have jurisdiction here. We are not allowed to get involved with their government.” Rossi tried to say.

“I don’t care what we’re allowed to do! It’s Spencer!! We can’t leave him there!” At this point was was practically yelling, begging the team to do something, but they all just looked at me with worried and concerned eyes. Not the same eyes of my team, but eyes of Caregiver’s worried about a Little.

“Kid, I’m sorry.” Morgan started to say realizing that they were right. There is no other way.

“No! NOOOOO! No! I won’t let him be taken away! I WON’T!” I stomp my foot twice, screaming at the team. I couldn’t help but let my frustration and anxiety get the better of me. I couldn’t stop worrying about him.

“Y/N, honey we have to go. If we don’t and they come here, we’ll all be arrest on conspiracy.” Emily tried to explain.

“I’m not leaving him!” I cried out as tears fell from my eyes, “I’m not! If you won’t go get him, then I will! You can all leave without me!” I take my binoculars and throw them towards the team before storming off and walking towards Spencer direction.

In reality there was no way I could walk there on my own. But I wasn’t thinking logically. I just wanted him so badly and I wasn’t going to stop till I got him.

Hotch and Morgan shared a look before Hotch nods his head, almost giving Morgan permission. Morgan nodded back before he runs over, catching up with me.

“I’m sorry about this kid but you’re going to have to trust us on this.” With one swift motion Morgan picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. “Right now, we know what’s best.”

I absolutely lose it. I start kicking and screaming as Morgan carries be back towards the team. “Noooooo!!! Dadeee!!” I called out, my arms stretched towards the building in the far distance. “NOOOOO!!!”

“Pack the essentials back into the car. We need to leave immediately.” Hotch orders.

Everyone starts rushing around and throwing things into the trunk. By the time Morgan comes back to the SUV I’m just crying, begging to be put down, crying out for Spencer.

Morgan helps me into the backseat and quickly buckled me before I had a chance to bolt again. JJ sits to my right and Emily to my left.

“It’s going to be alright sweetheart. It’s going to be okay.” The two of them say back and forth. But I can’t be consoled. I just cry and cry and cry, clinging onto JJ for comfort, wishing it was Spencer instead.

~~~

Everyone glances back to check on Y/N as the car drives back to the hotel. All worried about Y/N and about Spencer. Their priority is to go somewhere secure to talk, one without anyone listening.

Eventually Y/N’s cries die down to little sniffs and silent tears. Every so often someone tried to talk to them but they stayed silent, in shock from the events of the evening. That worries the team more.

Arriving back at the hotel, the team split into two. Hotch, Rossi and Emily split off to make phone calls and see what they could do about Spencer while Morgan, and JJ stayed with Y/N.

JJ lead the way and Morgan followed behind with Y/N in his arms. The Little just played with the collar of his shirt but doesn’t say anything. Silent tears fall from their eyes as they rest their head on his shoulder.

“Is it okay that they’re so quiet?” Morgan whispered to JJ.

“They’re in shock right now. I think it’s going to take them a moment.” JJ answered back.

With Y/N keycard, they opened the door to there and Spencer’s hotel room. The moment there were back in the room though, the shock start to dissipate.

They lifted their head off Morgan’s shoulder and looked to the bed, almost as if they were expecting Spencer to be in the room. When he wasn’t, they wriggled and pushed to be put down.

“Okay, kiddo just give me a second,” Morgan said as he gentle put them down.

Immediately the moment they were set on the ground they took off, searching the bathroom, the closets and the rest of the room, as if Spencer was hiding somewhere.

Morgan went to go to Y/N but JJ stopped him. “They need to figure this out themselves.” She said softly. Her eyes looked so sad as she watched Y/N look for Spencer in the room.

But everywhere they looked, he was still gone.

Even though it wasn’t a new realization, it hit Y/N as if it is was. They stopped and looked at Spencer’s jacket thrown over the desk chair.

How simply the morning was, the two of them getting ready for the mission tonight. The storybook he read the night before sat absent on the nightstand.

The whole room had the makings of Spencer. All without him being there.

Tears started to fall from Y/N eyes again. They grabbed his jacket and wrapped it around their shoulders.

Everything became so overwhelming at once. The reality of the day was setting in. When would they ever see him again? Would they ever see him again? Would they ever be able to get him out of prison?

Too many unanswered question rattled around in their mind. And with it? Anger. Anger about the fact this happened, about the fact they warned Spencer about doing this, and about the fact they couldn’t do anything about it.

So, like any toddler would. They began to throw a tantrum. First it was cry, and screaming. Then it was throwing every pillow off the bed and onto the ground. Then it was every blanket.

This time JJ wanted to step in and try to comfort Y/N but Morgan stopped her for a moment. “Like you said, they need a moment. This time I think to let it out.”

~~~

An hour later Hotch, Rossi and Emily walked into the room, only to find it looking like a tornado had passed through. Every pillow was on the ground along with the blankets and sheets. Clothes from their suitcases were also everywhere.

JJ was sat on the bed next to a crying and screaming Y/N. She gently tried to rub circles on their back to calm them down but it didn’t seem to be helping. Morgan was standing by the door, unsure how to help.

When the rest of the BAU came into the room, both Morgan and JJ looked exhausted. Hotch quickly stepped in, Emily following closely behind to help JJ out and give her a well needed break.

Once JJ got up Hotch replaced her spot, sitting close to Y/N. Emily took a seat on their other side. All the commotion got the attention of Y/N who stopped crying and screaming for a moment and lifted their head off the bed.

They quickly looked to Emily, tears stained face, “Dadee? Come home?” They simply asked.

Emily looked to Hotch then back to Y/N before replying, “Y/N, getting Spencer back is going to be a bit more complicated than we expected.” She starts to explain.

Rossi join the two, standing near the end of the bed, “We talked with our higher ups and updated them on the situation but…we need to give our reports and we need to start a lot of paper work before we can start the work to get him out.”

Y/N looked between Rossi and Emily confused, what did this mean for Dadee? What did this mean for them?

Hotch right away noticed the confusion. He places a hand on their shoulder, “Y/N, in order to begin working on getting Spencer out of prison, we need to go back to the U.S.” He let those words sink in.

And boy did they sink in like an anchor. Though it seemed impossible at this point, fresh tears started to fall from Y/N’s eyes. “W-We can’t leave him here.” They said in a broken voice.

“We’re not going to sweetheart. I promise we’re not. But for right now we have to head back home so we can begin the process of getting him out. And to do that we need to leave this country just for a little while.” Emily explained taking their hand.

“But we can’t, he’s stuck here! We can’t leave!! I-I don’t have…anyone…” Y/N tried to say before going hysterical again. It was all too much. Too much information at once. They were just about to start hyperventilating.

Hotch, making an executive decision, pulled the Little into his arms and cradled their head on his shoulder. Y/N held onto him tightly, crying into his shoulder. He started gently rocking and bouncing them in his arms.

“Y/N, breath. Take deep breaths with me.” Hotch guides them, helping them out of their hyperventilating.

“You’re not alone Y/N. I can promise you that.” Hotch lifted his head from Y/N and looked at his team of Caregivers. Though he didn’t ask, he knew that they would all be willing to step in and help take care of Y/N while they tried to free Spencer.

“We’ve got you.”

~~~

Four months had passed by. Four long months. It feel like just yesterday I saw Spencer arrested and pulled away. Every day I hope he’s okay and wonder what’s happening across the ocean in that prison he’s stuck in. It leaves me with crazy anxiety.

As for me? I’ve been the traveling Little. Every week I go to a different BAU members house. One week I’m with Hotch, the next I’m with Emily, then Morgan and so on. They’ve all treated me so nice and each house feels like a home with them.

They’ve all comforted me through the process of dealing with the temporary loss of my caregiver. Late nights waking up to the same nightmare. Hotch running into the room and comforting me through a crying fits. Or Garcia making me a cup of coco as a special treat.

They all really live up to their nickname BAU Family.

It’s been months and we aren’t even scratching the surface of getting Spencer out. It’s been killing me having to do this the paper work route and not just break him out myself…if I could.

But while they’re working on it back in the States, Morgan, Garcia, Emily and I made a trip back to the country to visit Spencer in prison.

I just…I need to see him. I need to see him again, talk to him again, and make sure with my own eyes he’s okay.

Once we arrived I stick close to Morgan, holding his hand tightly in mine as we stepped foot in the scary looking prison. I leaned close to his side as we walked down the scary hallways with prisoners yelling and shouting at us.

Finally we made it to the visiting room. Each section was like a small cubicle. A phone hung on each side of the wall with a piece of thick glass separating the visitors from the prisoners.

I promised myself I would try hard not to regress. I wanted to talk to him, see how he was doing and try to help him through the glass as much as I can. But as we entered the room, I could feel my regression screaming to take over.

The guard stopped us before we walked over. “It’s one at a time. And each of you only gets ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes?!” Garcia said just as shocked as the rest of us.

“Yes only ten minutes each.”

“Could I give my time to them?” Emily asked, seeing that I was the most anxious to see Spencer.

“No. It’s ten minutes each. Your time starts now. Reid is at cubicle six.” And with that the cold hearted guard walked back to his post.

I looked up at Morgan who gave me a comforting smile, “It’s okay Y/N. Just go spend every minute you can with him.” I nod my head and begin moving to cubicle six. As I walk down the rows I see the other prisoners talking with their friends and family.

But nothing in this world will ever replace the feeling of reach that cubicle and seeing Spencer again.

He smiled warmly at me. His hair is much longer now and his face scruffy, two things I’ve never seen on Spencer before. I start to tear up seeing him. It’s been so long and I’ve been so worried about him. And now? Now he’s here right in front of me.

I immediately take my seat and grab the phone, Spencer does the same. There’s a moment I don’t even know what to say. All these emotions hitting me at once. Tears start to fall from my eyes as I look into his. Thankfully Spencer must’ve realized it and starts the conversation.

“Y/N! It’s so good to see you! I’ve missed you so much!” He smiles again, pure happiness ok his faces.

“I’ve missed you so much. I’ve been worried about you every day wonder that’s happening, what going on there, what’s-.”

“Y/N, Y/N,” he stops me, “I’m okay. I’ve been doing okay here. I promise.” He shared a sad smile with me. Though I know he was trying to reassure me, I didn’t believe him 100%.

“Your hair is so long!” I chuckle.

“It’s is. They don’t give haircuts here.” He joked.

“I like it. It looks nice on you having long hair.”

“Really? Huh. Maybe I’ll keep it then.” He adds pushing his hair back dramatically, I can’t help but chuckle.

“I think about you every day too. I haven’t forgotten our date you know.” He smiles, “The sharks are waiting for us.”

“Yeah…the sharks…” Memories flash back to how we ended up here. I look back up into his eyes, but they’re not the eyes of normal me. They’re the eyes of a Little.

“I miss you.” My voice cracks as more tears start to fall, “I miss your bedtime stories and your cuddles and your hugs.” I begin rambling.

I stop, looking back into his worried eyes, “I just want you back.” I place my hand on the glass, wishing and hoping it would somehow disappear.

He placed his hand on mine, the glass blocking us from actually touching. “I wish I was back with you too. I wish I could be giving you all the cuddle and snuggles you could ever want.”

“I’m working Dadee, I’m working every day to bring you home.” I don’t move my hand from the glass, tears still fall from my eyes as I look into Spencer eyes.

“I know you are darling, I know you are.” He smiles warmly.

“Tell me how you’ve been doing.” Spencer says, trying to change the subject to one more uplifting.

I begin explain everything that’s been happening while he’s been gone. Going between everyone’s houses, the adventures they’ve taken me on.

“Aunt Garcia taught me how to play animal crossing and Uncle Hotch almost set his kitchen on fire when he tried to cook.” I giggle.

“He almost killed my Little?” He joked back.

“No! I saved him with the fire extinguisher!” I say proudly.

“Wow!! I didn’t know you were a firefighter too?” Spencer smiles, making me smile as well.

“Uncle Morgan is trying to get me into jogging with him.” I can’t help but chuckle.

Spencer laughs and smiles, “He’s trying to get you into jogging?“

“Yeah but can’t keep up with him. He’s too fast.”

“I don’t think we’ve jogged a day in our lives.” Spencer laughs some more.

“We haven’t!” I laugh as well, “We just walk in the park. Not running or jogging. Just walking.” I smile, thinking about all the times we’ve walked through the park to our favorite spot. We sit on a blanket together as he reads and I lay down and watch the cloud roll by.

I start rambling, “Me and Mr. Bear have been making a list of all the things we want to do when you’re back. We’ll have tea party, and go to the park, and-.”

“TIME’S UP!” I heard the prison guard yell down to me.

I look over worried then back to Spencer. “No!” I cry out. Looking back at him, trying to memorize his face before they come to get me. “I don’t want to go! I can’t go! Please don’t go!!”

My hand doesn’t leave the window, I hold my hand there not quite ready to take it away. Not ready to leave him. “Please don’t leave! Please!” My eyes meets his, mine looking worried while his look sad. I start to cry.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I promise you I’m going to be okay. I want you to know how much I love you and that I’m thinking of you every day. And how I can’t wait for the day you’ll be back my arms again.” Spencer quickly starts to say, trying to get every last word in.

“Dadee,” I try to catch my breath, “I don’t want to leave you again.” I choke out, trying to catch my breath between sobs.

“We’re not saying goodbye forever bug, we’re just saying goodbye for now.” The world seems to pause for a second as he looks at me and says, “I’ll see you again. I’ll see you soon.”

I nod my head, tears still falling from my face. “I love you.”

Spencer smiled back at me, “I love you too Y/N. I love you so-.”

~~~

Y/N turns to look away from the glass and off to the side. They put their phone down and start shaking their head to someone. Spencer can’t see what they’re looking at or who they’re talking to.

Spencer’s heart shatters as Morgan comes over, placing a hand on their shoulder before he scopes Y/N into his arms. Morgan and Spencer don’t get to talk, but the small nod and look in Morgan’s eye tells him everything he needs to know. Y/N’s in his safe hands.

He watches as Y/N turns and cries into Morgan’s shoulder as he carries them away. With one final glance, the Caregiver and Little lock eyes before Y/N is carried off.

The moment Y/N is out of sight, Spencer breaks down. Trying to put a tough face on for Y/N in showing that he’s alright. But he isn’t. He’s always running the risk of getting beaten up. He’s gotten into one or two of fight which didn’t end well for him. It’s hard being a cop in prison, let alone an FBI agent.

Spencer looks down, crying into his hand. The tough front of ‘everything’s okay’ drops and he’s finally able to let it out. His heart breaks for Y/N. He’s supposed to be there taken care of them, and instead he’s lock up, countries away. All the moments he’s missing out on, all the time.

The phone picks up and someone sits across from him. He doesn’t lift his head till they start talking.

“Reid, I’m so sorry.” Emily tries to say. “These guards aren’t happy with us being here to begin with, and you and I know Y/N would happily fight all of them to have more time with you.”

Spencer wiped his tears and nods. “How-,” he clears his throat, trying not to sound so upset, “How have they been doing?”

“I won’t lie to you, it was definitely a grieving process in the beginning. Then it was getting used to traveling around to everyone’s house every week. But,” She looks off to where Morgan is, holding Y/N in his arms, lightly bouncing them and rubbing their back, “But I think they’re finally starting to settled with us, comfortable regressing.”

She looks into his eyes and shares a comforting smile with him, “They’re doing okay.”

Spencer nods his head taking it all in, “That’s great to hear. I’ve been so worried they haven’t adjusted well, or they’ve been upset about everything.” He rambles.

“They have their moment but they need to have their moments of crying and being upset. Sometimes they need to let it out. I’m just thankful they have people to care for them and allow them a safe space to let it out.” Emily shared a small smile with Spencer.

“So, let’s get down to business before they cut me off.” Emily places her brief case on the table and begins going over their plan for getting him out.

They talk a while longer before Emily’s time is up. Then just when he thought his visit was over, Garcia took a place infront of him.

“Spencer! I love your hair this length! You should keep it this way!” Garcia smiled.

“It’s good to see you too Penelope.”

“So! I’m sure Emily went over all the business stuff with you.” She starts to say, “I’m not here to talk business, I’m here to cheer you up and tell you Y/N’s okay.”

Spencer right away smiles sadly, nodding his head.

“How are they taking it?”

“Very rough, which is to be expected.” She says honestly, “But…they’re not fighting us or trying to go against our help. I think they realizes they need people they can regress freely around so they can process the situation.”

Spencer nods along, listening intently.

Garcia chuckles, “You should only see Hotch and Morgan with them. Talk about softies! You think they’re the toughest men of the BAU? You should only see them when they’re trying to cheer Y/N up. There’s not much they would do.”

Spencer join her in laughing, picture the two of them with Y/N. “That’s something I’d love to see.”

“And I know you will soon. Between our team’s efforts and Y/N determination to find a loophole in the system, you’ll be out of here soon enough.” She smiled warmly.

“I just wanted to take the time to tell you that we’re taking good care of Y/N. Emily paints their nails, JJ and Morgan takes them to the park, Hotch and Rossi have been teaching them how to cook, and I’ve been showing them every movie and playing every video games imaginable.”

Spencer smile again, “Thank you Garcia. Thank you for taking care of my Little one.”

“It’s been our pleasure.” She smiles back. “Hang in there, okay? We’ll see you soon.” She kissed her hand and pressed it to the glass.

Spencer did the same, sharing a small smile with her.

As she stood up and walk away, the guard behind him call his name, visiting hours were up. He sigh, standing up and walking back to his cell. Before he felt empty and now? Now he felt a small glimmer of hope.

~~~

Two more months later there we stood, outside the gates of the prisons waiting endlessly for Spencer. The whole BAU was here to ensure Spencer was brought out safe and sound.

I stood next to Hotch nervously picking at my nails as we waited. He grabbed my hand gently, stopping me from the nervous habit. “It’s okay Y/N. You have nothing to worry about.” He took my hand in his, gently rubbing his thumb over my knuckles.

“But what if-.”

“There’s nothing they can do to keep him in there.” Rossi cuts me off. “They have to release him today.” He reassured.

I nod my head, still not so sure. So there we wait, and wait, and wait.

“Did they give us a time?” JJ asks.

“They said 12 o’clock.” Emily replies.

“And it’s…” Morgan asks.

“It’s 1:37.”

We all sigh.

“If they don’t release him by 2 we’ll raise hell. But for now we’ll wait.” Hotch replies to the group. Looking to me and sharing a small smile.

So we wait some more.

I lean against Hotch’s arms watching the gate endlessly.

Suddenly there’s a loud alarm sound and the gate starts to open. I squeeze Hotch’s hand. “Is it Spencer? Is it him?” I look to him eagerly.

“Let’s wait a moment and see before we go over.” The group watch as the gate opens and a prisoner walks out.

There’s no denying who that is. His hair much longer, almost to his shoulders. His face unkept. But his smile towards the group is the most recognizable sign that it’s him.

I look to Hotch who gives me a smile and a nod.

With that I take off! I start running like my life depends on it. Spencer smile only grows as he sees me running towards him. He kneels down, opening his arms wide.

After months of being without him, it lead us to this moment. I tears fall from my eyes as I finally embrace him, running right into his arms. He wraps his arms around me and picks me up, spinning us around while hugging me tight against him.

We stop, just holding onto each other, tears running down both our faces. “Spencer!! Dadee! I miss you!! I missed you so much!” I cry into his shoulder, holding onto him to tightly.

“I miss you so much. I’ve thought about you every day, thought about this moment every day. I couldn’t wait to hug my little bug again.”

We’ve both been waiting for this moment forever. Long nights sleeping in my bed wishing I could just be cuddled up with Spencer, nightmares that I wish he could protect me from, adventures I wish he would take me on.

It was all over. I held onto with a tight grip. As if I didn’t he would disappear. Finally no more glass to separate us any longer. We are finally back together again. And we’re never leaving each others side.

We break apart but only for a moment as we look into each other’s eyes, “I did it. I got the paper work and I demanded they release you. I never stopped fighting for you.” I cry.

Spencer reaches up and wiped the tears away, “I couldn’t be more grateful for you. Thank you Y/N.” He pulls me back into a tight hug, kissing the side of my head.

The recovery was going to be a long one. Spencer was definitely going to need some time away from the BAU and so was Y/N. They needed to catch up on loss time and deal with what happened together. But for now…

“Now we can go to the aquarium!” I mumble, squish in our hug.

Spencer chuckles. We break apart and he takes my hand in mine. “It would be my honor to finally take you to the aquarium.” He smiles back.

Together we walk towards the rest of the team, hand in hand. Reunited at last.

“What fish are you most excited to see?” I asks as we walk.

“Maybe a star fish.” Spencer replies.

“A star fish?!”

“Yeah. What’s wrong with that?”

“But that’s not even a fish?”

“It’s close to a fish but not technically a fish.”

“Then why is it called star fish?”

“I…don’t actually know. We’ll just have to ask one when we see it.” Spencer smiles, squeezing my hand. I giggle at the silliness and squeeze his hand right back.

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ofoceansandtombsanew · 2 years

Text

when it all comes Crashing Down

tags: 18+, afab!reader, childhood friends to friends(?) with benefits, codependent relationship

summary: it fascinates you how someone so manipulative and cruel can be so sensitive and needy

a/n: writing pro-tip, always write down random sentences whenever they come to you because you never know when it’ll be the source of inspiration for a story. in this case, an introspective think piece on makima’s loneliness that is also smut where neither of you are the good guy. also available on AO3.

If windows are eyes to the soul, you wonder what that means for someone like Makima.

Or rather, you wonder what people see when they look at them. You’ve known her for the better part of your life and at 25, you still aren’t sure what others see. That is at the forefront of your mind as gold eyes with red rings look back at you, a calculating smile accompanying them.

“Are you listening to me?” Makima tilts her head as she rests her chin on her palm.

You nod vaguely at your childhood friend, turning your gaze to your phone screen. “I heard you say a week ago that you have a partner assignment due this week and yet somehow you’re here at my place instead of doing that.” You have your apartment to yourself for once, your roommate gone for the weekend to stay the night at one of her girlfriends’ apartments. “Shouldn’t you be out doing your homework?”

“I can’t visit my best friend from time to time?” Makima implores as if she is surprised by your own inquiry

“That isn’t what I asked,” yet you already know the answer. You aren’t completely well-acquainted with Aki Hayakawa. He’s a friend of a friend and you see him from time to time when said friends throw parties or have other get-togethers. Those were enough encounters for you to know the man is absolutely smitten with the redhead in front of you, spooning a piece of the tiramisu she brought over. He’d do anything Makima asked of him with more enthusiasm you could ever produce.

Unsurprisingly, Makima confirms what you already suspect. “Hayakawa told me he could do the rest of it,” she replies lightly with a smile. And there we go. You wonder what the poor sap sees in her when you know Makima doesn’t see him as more than an amusing puppy chasing after her braid. “I wanted to visit because I thought you might be lonely. Here,” she raises her spoon towards your lips. “I made this for you.”

“Nah I’m good,” Makima’s baking isn’t necessarily the problem. It’s the measurements, her measurements just aren’t for you.

“You said you wanted to try tiramisu recently,” Makima counters, her hand not moving an inch.

“First, I mentioned that in passing,” you raise a finger and quickly follow it with another. “Second, I also said I was going to try it out with Quanxi next Saturday.” One of her girlfriend’s, Long, is having a birthday celebration at an Italian restaurant. “They say patience is a virtue, I can wait.”

“I think it’s a voluntary virtue when it comes to food,” Makima lowers her hand for a moment. “Are you just trying to say you don’t want to eat my baking?”

You snort, “that’s exactly what I’m saying, yes. I trust your cooking, not your baking. You have never gotten the right amount of sugar that I can stomach.” You’ve never been able to eat things too sweet. Even as a child you would scrape off most of the frosting on cupcakes, sliding it onto Makima’s plate who welcomed the additional sweetness.

“That’s a bit mean” that is hilarious coming from the undisputed Queen of Mean. You distinctly remember the time in middle school where Makima laughed at a scene of a protagonist crying over the death of a friend. That in itself was ironic coming from the same girl who, at the beginning of that same semester, clutched your shirt and sobbed like it was the end of the world when you found out you shared zero classes and had separate lunch periods. “I worked hard to make this for you. You should spoil a person more when you’ve known them since you were 6.”

You distinctly know the spoiling she is referring to is about herself. “I always spoil you,” I’ve been doing it since we were kids. It crosses your mind, not for the first time, that if it weren’t for your parents, you are sure you and Makima would never have become friends.

Your mom was her mom’s friend in university and by some chance, they ended up enrolling you both at the same school and found out when you were both picked up later after classes. There began your days of playing whatever game Makima desired and your possessions somehow becoming her possessions. Whenever you voiced your grievances to your mom, however, she always told you to be kind and understanding in a tone that let you know that you recognized even now. A tone that says “this has something to do with something we adults discussed”.

It didn’t take too long for you at that age to notice the traces of what your mother was likely referring to.

You never saw much of Makima’s parents when you were younger; you don't see much of them now.

School events, holidays and a few random things in between. It wasn’t Makima’s family that shared them with her but yours. That realization made you think back to the times you would complain about mandatory family time and your mother would rebuttal, “not everyone is lucky to have parents that love them so much, [First], you should be grateful.”

Indulging Makima became habit after that as long as it was in reason.

You’re sure there is a part of her that resents you choosing to room with a classmate rather than her though.

“Just try it,” Makima raises her spoon again and, with a sigh, you relent.

Almost immediately, you balk at the taste, nose scrunching in displeasure. “Like I said,” you grab Makima’s cup of black tea and down a large mouthful. “You always make things too sweet. This is why I’m gonna eat it at a restaurant with an actual baker.”

You lay your head on the foot of the couch, rejecting the too-sweet tiramisu in its entirety. “I’ll just make Quanxi pay for it when I order it. She owes me for what happened last weekend.” You aren’t one to knock someone getting laid but your roommate fucking her girlfriends loudly all night the night before you had a exam was evil. All she did when you banged on the door to keep it down was toss her noise-canceling headphones before closing it again. At least when I fuck in the house I have the decency to keep shit down, you grumble internally pushing away the fact Quanxi technically also offered to let you join in the fun.

You probably would have joined if you weren’t sleep-deprived and irritated.

C’est la vie.

“[First].”

“Hmm,” you hum in response without opening your eyes. Your eyes find themselves opening a moment later when you feel the distinct feeling of another body over your own, Makima placing her legs on either side of your hips as she sits on your lap.

Red frames gold as she looks down on you and you stare back wordlessly before her lips press against yours.

It fascinates you how someone so manipulative and cruel can be so sensitive and needy.

Cruelty comes easy to Makima, no different than a child experiencing troubles at home taking out their frustrations on a random kid at school.

She’s angelic in appearance, devilish in nature.

She wants to be treated gently when she is incapable of treating people gently herself.

By your second to last year of high school, you wondered what your relationship meant about you.

Knowing her ways yet staying her friend regardless which only birthed the question as to why you remained her friend. It donned on you not too long after that the reason was pity when you held a distraught Makima in your arms in your room when a former mutual friend stated his intentions not to associate with her any longer. You remember finding it strange that she was so upset when you didn’t think Makima even considered Madoka to be a friend in the first place.

She said as much when you asked her before the event transpired.

“He’s more like an acquaintance, they all are,” Makima had told you. “But not you [First], you’re my real friend.”

The only one she has.

It dawned on you then if Madoka wanting nothing to do with her could make her cry, you doing the same would make Makima undoubtedly break. It’s ironic how the loneliest people can be the most sadistic.

So she can be cruel; as long as that cruelty never turns to you, you will continue to be there even when you are sure you both know that your friendship has long since passed the expiry date. You’ll be there when she needs to cry, you’ll accompany her on walks for her dogs and you’ll lay her down in your bed when she wants to feel the skin of another on her own like you are now.

Makima’s arms tighten around your shoulders, hips bucking as the butt of your palm rubs against her clit as you thrust your fingers inside her. She’s absolutely soaked and you can’t help relishing that fact as Makima moans your name like it’s the only word she knows.

Maybe this was inevitable, the two of you like this, you think vaguely as you leave a trail of wet kisses from her breasts to her belly before settling between her legs. You lap at her core slowly, bringing one of your hands to clasp her own and Makima intertwines her fingers between yours tightly.

You press one finger in her pussy, sucking on her clit.

You add a second when you kiss her folds.

You continue thrusting your fingers once you add a third and Makima moves her hips to press into your ministrations. It takes a few moments to find a rhythm, alternating between licking and maintaining the movement of your finger. It doesn’t take much longer for Makima’s thighs to tighten around your head, coming with a soft cry.

You pull out your fingers, vaguely acknowledging the ache in your wrist and glance in her direction. From your position you can see her chest heave up and down, hand tightly gripping yours as she reels from the aftershocks. If she held it any tighter, you’re sure it would break.

With two light taps on her hip, Makima loosens her grip on your head tiredly and you kiss her inner thighs before finally moving to lay on your pillow beside her. It takes a moment to pull your hand away from hers, Makima’s grip iron tight. “Hey, I need that hand to hug you, weirdo,” is all it takes for her hand to loosen its hold and gently you take back your hand.

There is no fighting against your tugging as you pull Makima into your chest like you’ve done many times before holding firmly but gently, just as she likes. You don’t comment on the soft sniffle you hear, it’s an unspoken rule for you both not to point out when she cries during sex. Almost instinctively, Makima presses herself even closer as she wraps her arms around your waist. Sometimes you wonder if she is trying to live in your skin.

“[First],” Makima murmurs almost too softly for you to hear when she’s wound down.

You fiddle with a lock of her hair, “What is it?”

“Stay the night with me tomorrow,” her nails dig into your back and you note she sounds almost uncertain in her command. Desperate.

You close your eyes, tired. “We can go in the morning.”

#look she's writing #csm x reader #chainsaw man x reader #makima x reader #neither makima or the reader are the good guy in this because sometimes things are just morally gray for all parties involved #thanks tyler the creator for the title inspo lol

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nhasablogg · 10 months

Text

Imagine being loved by me

Fandom: Red White and Royal Blue

Characters: Alex/Henry

Anonymous said: Since you’re obviously willing to write nsfw may I present you with the idea of Alex giving Henry a BJ while tickling the shit out of him 👀

Warnings: Oral sex, tickle kinks, probably quite tame though because it's me lmao. And for the biggest warning of them all: I have not proof read it. Also! I don't tag things as "nsfw" but as "not sfw" so that tumblr won't hide my blog again, just an fyi.

Words: 1.5k

“I want to see how long you can keep your legs around me while I tickle your thighs.” Alex said it into his lower belly, mumbling the words into his skin as if it wasn’t driving Henry crazy just to hear them.

Henry dropped his legs on either side of him. “Alex.”

“Hmm?” Alex peeked up at him, looking delicious with his hair sticking up and cheeks tinted pink, just coming down from his own high with a promise to give Henry an even better treatment. “Too much?”

“No, I just-”

“Or did you like the sound of that?”

Alex wagged his eyebrows and Henry laughed, grateful for the ease as he shoved at Alex’s face. “You’re so stupid.”

Alex laughed too, something bubbly and giddy, head dropping back down to kiss at Henry’s belly. “Or should I just tickle your hips while I blow you?”

“Alex.”

“What? Don’t tell me you’re shy. I’ve got you naked beneath me, for crying out loud.” But Alex’s face softened when he looked up at him again. “You’re so pretty. I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

Henry averted his eyes. “Well, you’ve already listed a few things.”

“Oh?”

He covered his face with a groan and said over Alex’s laughter: “Just kill me. How is this somehow worse than telling you about it in the first place?”

“I’m just teasing, baby.” A hand on Henry’s jaw. “Hey. Look at me.”

“Hng.”

“Please?”

“Hng.”

“Is this just a ploy to get me to tickle you? Because I will either way, you don’t have to provoke me.” Alex emphasized his words by poking at Henry’s exposed ribs, making his arms shoot down. “There we go.”

“Sweetheart, I can’t-”

“Handle it? Oh, but that’s half the fun, isn’t it?” Alex ran his fingertip over Henry’s ribcage, slowly moving downward. “As much as I want to pin you and force you to take it, I also prefer seeing you try to fight off your instincts to stop me.”

Henry gripped the sheets. Three days. That was how much time had passed since Henry had admitted that he wanted Alex to tie him up and tickle him to pieces, although they’d not done that yet. Henry had changed his mind. Then changed his mind again. And then he’d been too embarrassed to let Alex even talk about it, feeling stupid and silly and annoying, despite how much Alex reassured him that he was okay. They’d not brought up bondage again, although Alex tickled him more now, leaving Henry giggly and huffy and timid.

He’d stilled his hand over Henry’s hipbone now, fingers pressing slightly into the skin, not ticklish exactly but Henry could feel each shift of the pressure, each tiny movement, and it nearly drove him crazy.

“I’m asking seriously now.” A flicker of uncertainty on Alex’s face. This was new to him too. “Do you want me to tickle your hips-” Slight increase in pressure against the bone. “-while I blow you? Or should I just blow you and tickle you after? Or neither?”

Henry exhaled. “Both. At the same time. Please.”

Alex’s smile was so bright that Henry briefly wondered if he’d accidentally mixed up their kinks. “Yay.”

He let out a laugh and leaned his head back, eyes slipping shut as he focused solely on the feeling of Alex’s fingers on his hip. “Yay indeed.” He could imagine the fingers curling over his skin. Could imagine how difficult it would be to keep himself from not shoving them off.

Alex was already leaning down to kiss along his lower stomach, which was slightly ticklish as it was, but the thought of being properly tickled in probably only a minute made Henry jump at the touch, his attempt at playing it cool failing entirely as Alex laughed into his skin.

“Sorry, baby.”

“It’s okay.”

“You’re already getting excited, huh?”

“Shut up.”

“I will in a second.” But Alex was loud even when orally occupied. Always moaning and humming and sighing, which nearly got them in trouble when they were a secret. He was kissing his way loudly down Henry’s torso, giving his inner thighs attention which left Henry shaking with both suppressed giggles and something entirely else. They were lucky to be alone. Lucky to have the space to be alone. Henry felt safe to sprawl out as Alex took him in his hand first to get him started, felt safe to moan because Alex knew exactly how to touch him. His free hand was still on Henry’s hip, squeezing slightly, maybe to steady himself, or maybe to keep him on edge. It didn’t matter. Henry was all nerve endings now. All bare skin and vulnerability and trust. All he felt was Alex on his body. Alex sliding down to swallow him. Alex moving slowly because he knew Henry would eventually dig his nails into his back to get him to hurry up and he enjoyed seeing him squirm. Alex used his elbows to keep himself up, both planted on either side of Henry, with his hands resting on Henry’s sides, maybe tickling or maybe simply twitching. It didn’t matter. Henry wasn’t being tickled yet and so he barely felt it, too busy feeling other things.

And then Alex moved his hands to his hip bones and didn’t move them away again, not even as Henry started writhing, overwhelmed from the combination of pleasure and ticklishness and unsure of how to handle it. His laughter was quick and panicked, and yet his hands kept gripping the sheets. Alex smiled around him, a sound akin to delight escaping him, but Henry could barely hear him over himself.

“F-fuck, Alex, fuck, I-”

His nerve endings were in shambles, and all he could do was keep arching his back, head thrown back, eyes wide open as if being able to see what he was doing was helping him at all. But it was a lovely sight, Alex looking up at him as if he didn’t want to miss a single moment. Hair sticking to his forehead. Cheeks tinted pink.

“You like that?” he asked when he moved to the tip, making Henry whine through his laughter.

“Y-yes.”

“I can tell.” Contact briefly breaking when he grinned. “I like that you like it.”

Oh. Okay. Okay okay. Right. Okay.

Alex took him in again, moan turning into humming which Henry would eventually realize was him attempting to say the words ‘tickle tickle’ while having a mouthful of Henry and, well, he was glad he realized that toward the end and not in the beginning.

When Alex had said that he wanted to tickle his hips he must’ve been lying, because once his hands started straying it seemed as if they would never stay in one spot for longer than a couple of minutes. Maybe to keep Henry guessing, or maybe to give him momentary mercy. Either way, he wasn’t sure if it was mercy at all. He let go of the sheets when Alex scribbled his fingers over his belly, the first spot to have him scrambling to stop him, but Alex was able to evade him much too easily than seemed possible for someone who was partly occupied with something else.

“Nuh uh,” he said, coming up briefly to wag a playful finger at him. “No blocking my tickling.”

“It’s not that easy,” Henry said, grateful for the chance to breathe.

“Be a good boy and try for me, okay, baby?” Alex lowered himself down again. “I’m not finished yet, and, by the looks of it, neither are you.”

It was crazy that Henry could be blushing when in this position, when he had absolutely nothing to hide or that could be hidden at all.

Alex tickled his belly for as long as Henry let him, which was longer than they’d both probably thought but then again Henry nearly ripped the headboard off the bed in his plight. Heels were digging into the mattress, and he had the brief ridiculous fear that they would have to explain to someone in the morning how the hell they had broken a whole bed.

“Please!” The desperation in his voice surprised him and was probably the reason Alex switched spots without him having to say anything else, latching onto his sides instead which had him giggling, but not more than that. Exhausted by that point, he was able to feel Alex blowing him more than tickling him, although that would change once Alex remembered he had thighs which he spidered his fingers over, although he avoided the inner thighs lest he wanted to be crushed to death.

“I want to see how long you can keep your legs around me while I tickle your thighs.” Alex repeated his words from much earlier, when focus had started shifting to Henry in the first place, only this time Henry wrapped his legs around him rather than doing the opposite. He knew he would lose immediately but was willing to try.

(It lasted approximately ten seconds.)

Later, when Alex had dried them off and kissed Henry’s hair about a thousand times, he said, “I love tickling you because you never know how you’re going to react. It’s so- bodily. No thoughts seem to be involved.”

“Are you calling me stupid.”

“Well, it is called being tickled silly.”

And Henry, having been tickled out, could only agree.

#tickling #tickle fic #ticklish!henry #firstprince fic #rwrb fic #firsprince #rwrb #not sfw #imagine being loved by me #n writes

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chimcess · 11 months

Text

→ Chapter Seven: Growing Pains Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Werewolf!Jimin, Witch!Reader, Shifter!Reader, Shifter!Jimin, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Jimin Genre: Supernatural!AU, Werewolf!AU, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Smut, Word Count: 11.6k+ Synopsis: Within the four realms of Lustra lay the Bangtan forest home to the Foxglove pack of the south and known as the “land of magic.” It is also home to the Bridd, a powerful witch from a cursed bloodline who is one of the sacred guardians of the forest. Y/N is the newest Bridd, a young girl who was given her position too early. Now a woman, Y/N is revered amongst the wolves as the most powerful witch they have ever known, but hiding under the surface is a woman who has to battle between her duty and her heart. Warnings: ANGST BB, hurt, argument, sexism, I love/hate Bo, strong language, crying, PTSD, Impulsive decisions, I love Taehyung so much, he is my sweet baby angel, we need better communication skills, mentions of a toxic relationship (not reader and Jimin), Anger issues, mental illness, long hair Jimin for the win, emotional turmoil, conflicting feelings, emotional whiplash, talks of possible character death, let me know if I missed anything A/N: Not me surprising dropping. This was such a difficult chapter to write. I enjoy angst and everything, and this was meant to be the catalyst to the adventure we need to take, but that doesn't mean I like causing pain. Hope you guys like it!

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Bo and I stared at one another. Her jaw was clenched, and I could feel how tense my eyebrows were. We had been in this room for over an hour already and her stupid training was going nowhere. I did not want to learn how to talk to my husband properly. He enjoyed how I was already.

“Why are you making this so difficult?” She spat.

“Because I can,” I taunted.

Her mouth twitched and I waited for her to finally snap. I would like a good fight to get all of my pent up frustration out. Instead, she took another deep breath and told me to point out the proper soup spoon.

“This is the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life,” I mumbled and pointed at the smallest one in the set.

“And you’re the dumbest thing that’s come into mine,” She bit back.

“This is really unnecessary, Bo,” Sol sighed from beside me. “Y/N has better things to do than sit here and look at silverware. None of us even use these anymore.”

I looked at her and hoped she could see how grateful I was she was sitting here with me. When Bo showed up at Jimin’s house this morning, the Luna had followed behind her every step of the way hoping we could put the traditional nonsense behind us. I did not see the point in following their customs more than I already did and Sol herself said no one really cares about certain formalities anymore. Jimin seemed sad to watch me go but more pleased than he let on. Sol said these preparations were meant for our wedding and it made him happy to think about. That was the only reason I was still sitting here.

“I’m sure Oxur Park knows how much Alpha Park loves a woman with knowledge,” The wolf gave me a satisfied smirk. “Unless you’ve decided to take that from him, too.”

Bo had made it her mission to get me out of their palace. Believing I had somehow tricked Jimin into loving me, the wolf had no issue calling our bond into question. Apparently, her outdated beliefs ran much deeper than I had originally thought. Either way, she was beginning to make my life all the more difficult. I had enough going on as it was.

“You are the most infuriating woman I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.”

“And you are the sneakiest little weasel I have ever laid eyes on,” Bo hissed.

“You’re both acting like children,” Sol laughed. “Bo, can’t we go now? I promised my husband alone time with his friend.”

With a satisfied smirk, I leaned back in my chair. Bo was not happy with the girl, but Taehyung’s wishes overruled her own. The perks of being the pack alpha, I guess. I did not wait for Bo’s response before standing up. Sol followed me.

“I expect you in your own room tonight, child.”

I did not respond. Sol giggled and grabbed hold of my arm as we left the palace library. If I had come here on my own, I might have admired the massive shelves and the beautiful wood they were made from, but Bo’s presence ruined whatever joy I might have gotten. She was such a pain to deal with. Knowing my foul mood, Sol began babbling about her and Taehyung’s wedding for the third time today.

“Oh, I wish you could have been there,” She pouted. “Taehyung wanted to wait for you to wake up, but all of us decided it would be in his best interest to hurry along. I hope you’re not upset with us.”

That worked and I cracked a smile.

“How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not upset about it.”

Leaning into my side, the younger girl sighed happily. She always got like this when she spoke of Taehyung. He was akin to God in her eyes now and it was a funny sight to see. She was always so stuck up and stressed when I had known her that this new version of her was strange to see. She laughed and joked with others in a way I had never seen before. Taehyung was the perfect match for the Luna, and I was pleased with how happy they both were despite everything going on.

“You’ll have to forgive Ha-Joon,” Sol waved at a small group of maids. “She’s just always pictured her daughter with Jimin, and her death has brought out the worst in her. Don’t take it too personally, okay?”

“Easy for you to say,” I murmured, “She doesn’t hate you.”

The group of maids stopped to bow. I returned the gesture, but Sol did not. She was never raised to respect her help. Tossing a small smile at the women, my eyes caught a familiar face and warmed. Koda grinned happily back at me.

“Oh!” Sol exclaimed suddenly. “Isn’t this the most coincidental situation?”

Stepping away from my side, the wolf gestured to the group. None of them make eye contact with the Luna. None of them even looked at her face. I could not understand how no one thought this was strange behavior, but it was the status quo. Hopefully I could speak with Taehyung about it. I do not think he would approve of this behavior at all.

“I was speaking with Elder Kim, and we decided that you need a servant,” Sol announced. “This group should do. See anyone you like in particular?”

She was completely serious. Not a shred of doubt or shame was written on her face. Sol was raised with this nonchalant way of ordering others around and it was disturbing to see in action. I would definitely speak to Taehyung. However, I could not deny the perks I saw. Looking at Koda, I knew I would be able to keep her safe as long as I kept her by my side. Giving the women a sympathetic look, I turned to Sol with a mask of indifference.

“If you think it’s necessary,” She smiled brightly. “Koda,” I looked at the older woman, “would you like to help me while I stay here?”

The woman walked to the front of the group. The other maids made space and suddenly none of them looked at me either. It was a horrible feeling and I wondered what they thought of me now. Wanting to make my intentions clear, I kept talking.

“Also, Sol,” I looked at my friend, “I don’t like the word 'servant'.’ Can we use something less… harsh? Like ‘companion?’ I don’t plan on staying here for very long so it just seems too,” I moved my hands and tried to find the softest explanation I could think of, “permanent.”

I was choosing my words carefully. Sol has never had her views challenged much and these women had been at her beck and call her entire life, so it was only natural she thought of them a particular way. I wanted to change her mind, but it would have to start with something small. The other maids seemed to relax, and their eyes wandered freely once more. I never wanted them to feel inferior to me.

“Hmm,” She cupped her chin, “I’ve never thought of that before. I like it.”

Turning her gaze to Koda, she grinned, “You will spend every moment at Oxur Park’s side. Under no circumstances will you leave her, understand?”

“Yes, Luna,” She bowed deeply. “Will I sleep in her chambers?”

“No!” I exclaimed. Flushing, I rubbed the back of my neck and bowed my head. “That won’t be necessary. I will be with Alpha Park during the night.”

Sol laughed heartily, “You’re just breaking all of the rules, aren’t you?”

I awkwardly joined her, “Might as well give her a reason for her dislike, don’t you think?”

Sol immediately dismissed the maids, Koda included, so we could continue our walk. Koda would be joining me tonight for my bath. I cringed at the thought and started to think of ways to talk to her about what I was expecting, or rather, not expecting her to do. I could do everything I needed on my own and had for many years of my life. I saw no need for someone else to bathe, dress, or tuck me in at night. Jimin would be the exception, but he was my partner and had seen me more intimately than others.

Sol continued to talk my ears off as we walked through the palace. I was still unnerved by how easily she commanded her maids. It was creepy. I could not picture Taehyung feeling comfortable by their pampering either, but would he ever say something that would offend his wife? It was difficult to say.

I knew the other alphas had lived in the palace at points in their lives, and from what I had heard, Namjoon was still here full time. Unmated alphas were meant to stay in the palace until they were mated so they could be trained into leaders. Scowling, I thought of Ahn and his thick, white beard and how little help he was to everyone. No one ever spoke of him or his teachings, and Sol did not even seem bothered by her father-figure’s death. It gave me a sick sort of pleasure knowing that no one, possibly not even Bo, thought of him in a good light.

The repairs to the palace were the first to be completed. The elves had focused primarily on the civilian areas, and since the palace was the only place made of stone, the flames that ate away at the wooden homes in the main parts of the village. We had been seeing a great deal of progress in only four days, but there was still much to do. The town’s market was nowhere in sight, and they had only just gotten their water system back up.

“What does Taehyung want to talk about?” I asked.

Sol had started a childhood story involving Ahn that I had no desire to hear.

“I’m not sure exactly,” She admitted, “He said he was hoping you two could go for a walk and catch up. It’s been a while since you’ve been alone.”

I nodded and pretended to listen as she jumped into another childhood story. Sol was a rather clumsy child. Looking at the dark stone, I felt my resentment growing. No one except for Taehyung had left to help the others. Not Kim nor Bo left their comfortable confines to help their community and yet they had time to talk about my manners and which servant I would get? It all seemed ridiculous to me. Even Sol herself was still living in la-la-land within these walls. Had she even seen what was done?

“You must promise to be our first child’s matrina,” Sol was talking about children. Again. Her unusual sense of pessimism was beginning to agitate me. “You are the only person I can think of I would trust with that honor.

“Of course, Jungkook will have to be the patrinus, but I don’t think it will bother Jimin too much. He’s far too much like a brother to ask anybody else. Maybe for our second child? Taehyung would be overjoyed if you were both involved.”

I gritted my teeth and simply nodded along with her stories. Yes, a conversation with Taehyung was a must. Maybe he could make her see reason, or at least show concern for everyone else. At meetings she lounged on him like a cat and never paid attention when they spoke about serious matters. It was like her head was permanently up in the clouds. Had she always been so careless when it came down to things, or was this a new development since she joined Taehyung? I would never know the true extent of the answer, but I had to believe this was new. Sol was too serious before to let this kind of behavior out.

The large, cathedral windows let in the bright sun, but it was still so cold and dark in here. The maids had yet to fix the lighting fixtures inside yet, but even the candles they had lit did nothing to help. Our steps had a faint echo to them, and it made the lifelessness of the palace worse. I felt Sol’s hair brushing against my arm as she made herself comfortable at my side and had to stop myself from moving it out of my way. It was tickling my skin uncomfortably.

Sol let her hair out in the palace unlike any place else. The long, thick, black waves cascading down her back effortlessly, but I knew better now. Someone had spent a great deal of time and care perfecting the way it felt and twisted. Around her neck was the material she used to cover her hair and she would put it on if another man showed up here. It was something Ahn had made her do that made no sense to me either, but Sol was happy about it, so I never thought about it much.

“Koda is a wonderful woman,” Sol suddenly gushed, catching my attention. “You’ll like her very, very much.”

“What makes you say that?” I questioned, feigning disinterest.

“Well,” She started, “She was once a warrior before her sister died. She stopped shifting soon after that and moved into the palace so she could have a place to stay. Her sister’s husband kept their house and Koda was too uncomfortable to live there with him alone.

“Oh! I know she’s from out of town, so you can share many stories about that as well. The people from Viridi Gramine always have the most interesting lives. Take Hyuna for example, she’s the princess of her people and yet gave it all up for a life here with Hoseok. Isn’t it romantic?”

I stopped listening to her once again. It was useful information, and my interest only grew for the older woman. If she was from the Foxglove’s cousin pack that meant she would know a route through the Ozryn mountains. Hiding my revelation, I subtly picked up my pace. The sooner I got this meeting over with, the sooner I could find Cadoc.

“She will be a wonderful companion for you to have,” Sol teased, placing extra emphasis on the chosen word. “I think I’ll start using that one as well. Servant does sound too harsh.”

I smirked in amusement. It was difficult to dislike Sol, especially when it seemed like she was having the most fun she had ever had. I imagined living with someone like Ahn was challenging. Still, her innocence and naivety were so odd when compared to her position in the pack. She was treated like glass that could shatter at any moment while held up as if she were a queen.

We descended down the large staircase in a companionable silence. That was rare for Sol, but I was sure as soon as our feet touched the first floor, she would start her rambling once more. It seemed like luck was on my side, however. Taehyung stood waiting for us, his eyes never leaving Sol’s little body. His happiness was enough to let go of my discomfort for Sol. She would learn in time, and Taehyung would be there to guide her. I would just steer him in the right direction.

The clothes he wore were much nicer than anything I had ever owned. Navy blue silk contrasted beautifully with his tanned skin while the nearly black pants he wore extended his legs. He wore a pair of simple black boots and a matching belt. It was nice to see him so clean and dressed up. Soon we would not have those luxuries.

“Thanks for bringing her, mi conjunx.”

Sol bit her lip and looked down, “Of course, mi coniunx.”

“Bridd,” Taehyung smiled at me, breaking whatever spell he had been under, “May I take you for a small walk alone? I have something I need to discuss with you.”

“That’s why I’m here,” I squeezed Sol’s shoulder and walked down the last few stairs that separated us.

It looked like Taehyung was physically pained to leave Sol’s side, but he showed as much restraint as possible. I heard her feet pitter-pattering back up the steps and Taehyung’s shoulders relaxed. They had spoken and it was still a mystery to me how it worked. I would have to ask Jimin about it later.

We stayed silent until we were out of the palace and walking out of Foxglove entirely. He wanted privacy today, so I waited until he was ready to speak to begin my questioning.

“How are you holding up?” Taehyung asked once we were well hidden within the trees.

I sighed. Cordelia’s passing had affected all of us, and Taehyung was beside himself with grief. He had hardly known her, but he was fond of everyone he met at my cottage. I confided in him about finding her body this morning. He stole me away for a few moments to ask my advice on his plans to invite the witches to stay in the palace, and the sea witch was brought up in conversation. I could tell he would make it a point to ask me about my emotional state whenever he got me alone.

“The etiquette classes have me thoroughly distracted,” I replied sadly.

“And everyone else?”

“About as well as I am,” I muttered. “Wendy is in bad shape, but Seokjin is holding her close. I think they’re back in their confusing situationship again, which saddens me, but I understand. I can only hope it will be different this time.”

In truth, I had little hope. While Wendy may have decided she would choose Seokjin over Yoongi, I was also sure this budding relationship would fizzle out rather quickly. Wendy was once again latching onto the sun witch in a desperate attempt to make herself feel better, and like always, Seokjin would walk through fire to make her smile. I paid close attention to their dynamics, and it was reminiscent of old times. It was not lost on me, her lingering stare at Yoongi’s disabled figure laying on the floor near the fireplace during my short visit yesterday, and it made the pit in my stomach only grow.

Old habits die hard, and Wendy Byrd was too much of a daydreamer to put anything to rest. It made me uncomfortable to witness the same cycle play out once more. It sickened me to know the only reason she was not seeking out Yoongi was the fact that he was getting used to his new reality. One where he could no longer see. Seokjin was as hopelessly hopeful as always and put up those blinders once more. Life in pink so long as Wendy held him close. The front he had put up in my cottage so long ago was forgotten.

“They need to figure it out by themselves,” Taehyung replied. He was always telling me things I knew but I appreciated the sentiment. “I am curious about this sudden need to leave Bangtan.”

As always, Taehyung knew more than he led on. I did not know how he knew of my plans before I spoke to anybody else about them, but I was less surprised than I should have been. Cadoc and I had been completely alone in the forest that night, but if Taehyung was awake when we got back to the palace, he could have easily gotten an earful of whatever we were speaking about. I had learned during our time at my cottage that Taehyung’s sense of hearing was stronger than the other’s while Jimin’s smell and eyesight were almost double of what they should be.

“I should be far more surprised than I am,” I admitted. “You’re always such a nosey little minx, aren’t you?”

Taehyung chuckled with a nod. Nothing got past those eyes. I pondered over what to say to him. He always had a way of taking me by surprise and I knew Cadoc would not be upset with my slip of the tongue. No one would, actually. Looking at my friend, I reminded myself that he was my friend before he was the Alpha everyone else needed him to be. A man who loved to read my mythology books and ask questions about the forest creatures would never dare ask me to stay behind when there were adventures to be seen. I was also aware that he would be afraid of my loyalty.

Cadoc had said I was becoming blinded by it. Loyal to a fault. Jimin and I were still at odds about my trip, but he had become resigned. We both needed for this to happen. For the sake of our friends and family I needed to try. I had failed once already, and I could not fail again.

“Are you going to talk to me about your secrets now?”

“I’m not staying in Bangtan for much longer,” I whispered, knowing he would be able to hear me just fine. “I have a different task. Something important.”

“I had guessed as much,” He laughed, an easy smile on his face. “Jimin is far too distracted, and the Quietus keep whispering to each other,” He stopped walking and turned towards me. “So, Bridd, where are you going?”

Biting my lip, I hesitated. How angry would he be if I told the truth? Angry was a strong word, I conceded. Taehyung was never angry, but I did not think he would be pleased. I was blatantly placing my own life in danger and lying to my mate about it. It was almost enough to make me rethink my choices.

“I need to find someone,” I said, bracing myself for the disappointment that was sure to make itself known soon. “When I died, I saw my aunt in the spirit realm, and she told me that I had to seek out an elemental called Naida.”

Taehyung frowned at me, his concern evident, but not so much so. He was not disappointed, but I could see fear. I could live with that. I was also afraid for my own life, but dwelling on those thoughts would get me nowhere. I had a mission to complete, and I would not be late this time. I would win. I had to. For my own sanity I would go.

“Is Jimin aware of this?”

I shook my head, “Nothing specific. He knows my plan to leave, but with everything so fresh and new I don’t want to worry him needlessly.”

“You are planning on telling him,” He pushed, “Right?”

I nodded, “The plan is to leave at sunset tomorrow. I’ll have more coverage at night just in case there are elf camps in the forest.”

I thought about the elf camp Jimin stalked that first night and shuttered. There were so many of them out there who had not come into the village. It was baffling to me why they would hesitate in their fighting only to move on so quickly. It gave the wolves too much time to plan and strategize and I knew they were not foolish enough to think they had better odds now. The wolves were on guard. The only thing that made sense were allies hiding in our ranks. Allies who were telling them our every move.

“Tell me something,” I dropped my voice even lower. “If I promise you that I will come back with help, will you keep the truth from the others?”

Stopping in his tracks, Taehyung stared at me. Jimin said the two of them had been speaking of a possible traitor and I would hope my friend would understand my perspective. My loyalty to the both of them was all consuming, my love was my life, and I would do whatever it takes to help them. Even if it meant lying to the man I loved more than life itself.

“I can’t keep something like this from him, Y/N,” Taehyung sighed. “You are my friend, but so is Jimin, and you cannot ask me to pick one over the other.”

“Even with the spy?” I challenged.

He looked through me then, his eyes burning a hole into my face searching for something. I don’t think I would ever know what Taehyung saw in me that day, but whatever it was it gave him pause. I had never felt just how strong or large Taehyung was until that moment. His frame towered over mine, his legs long and lanky, and his face impassive. That impenetrable wall that I found so disconcerting.

“Even then,” He smiled at me. “I would never risk your life or Jimin’s friendship. Even if you begged me to keep quiet, I would let him know the moment you were out of my sight.”

And I could not stop my returning grin. This was what I loved most about the boy, his endless love and compassion for others. He played tricks, told jokes, and made my head hurt from his never ending questions, but he also adored me in ways I had never been before. He adored my brain, my thoughts, and my courage.

A memory of us in the cottage came back to me then. The sun had just come up and I had just gotten home. My training with Thelma had been brutal that night and I had hardly done anything, and my emotions were growing, expanding, and becoming harder to manage. Jimin was still asleep, his pale skin beautiful in the sun, and I did not want to disturb his peace.

When I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, I found Taehyung already up and a book in his lap. We had our typical small talk, a morning just like any other, but once I sat down at the dining table, I found him just watching me. The book was long gone, his face hard, and his eyes observing me. Those eyes that took in everything they possibly could. I wondered then if he knew what I was doing, where I was going, and why. Instead of answering those questions, Taehyung pushed his growing hair out of his eyes and beamed at me.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how thankful I am that you’re letting me stay here,” He said.

Tired and worn, I brushed him off like I always had. I was never the one for compliments and did not know what to say, especially with my guilt eating me alive. Taehyung ignored whatever poor attempts I had made to make him stop talking.

“Thank you,” He bowed his head. “I will never forget your kindness or strength. Hell, even your anger! You’re the first person I’d ever seen make Namjoon lose his cool.”

I ignored him and sipped on my tea. I don’t even think I looked at him again. I drank my tea, listened, and hoped Jimin would not wake up. I wanted to sleep in his arms for a while. It made the nightmares more bearable.

“I know you don’t really like this kind of thing,” Taehyung continued to babble. “I know you’re uncomfortable because of the way your hands tremble and your breathing changes. I’m sorry you don’t feel like you deserve my praise, but I want to give it to you anyway.”

“Why?” I rasped, looking out of the large window beside me.

It was the same window a white wolf had come to and asked for help.

“Because you’re hurting right now, and I want you to know it’ll be okay. No matter what happens you will always be my friend, and Jimin will always love you.”

Looking around me now, it was difficult to imagine a more beautiful sight. It had been so long since I last saw the trees in the sun, and it took my breath away. The heat and warmth were never far away but still felt foreign on my skin. It was still as quiet as a mouse out here, but I basked in its beauty regardless. Taehyung’s teeth were blinding, and I needed to squint.

“We’ll always be friends, right?” I asked.

He held up a pinky, “Always.”

I wrapped my finger around his and sighed.

Diving into the story once again, I told Taehyung why I had been distraught during those last few weeks. His reaction, much like the rest of him, was completely different from both Cadoc and Jimin’s. Even the witches had nothing on Taehyung, because as soon as I was finished, Taehyung hugged me and told me he loved me.

“What?” I choked.

“You were so afraid,” He patted the top of my head and pulled away. “You worked so hard for my family and friends. Thank you.”

“But-but,” I spluttered, “I messed up. I didn’t say anything. I got all of those poor people killed. My own friend-”

“But you tried so hard,” Taehyung soothed. “You wore yourself out learning those spells, you spent every single night trying to get better, and kept it all bottled up. How could I be mad at you for that?”

“Because I let you down,” I muttered. “I let everyone down.”

“No, you didn’t,” He chuckled. “When it counted you were there. You killed yourself, quite literally, mind you, for all of us without knowing it would work. You fought by our sides and gave up a life in the spirit world. You gave up your best friend.”

Bringing Shiloh up tugged on my heart strings. I missed her so much. I knew I would see her again someday, but I hoped she got her wish in the end. She deserved to be beautiful and dance in the sunlight like she always wanted. Sword fights and cooking were two things she dreamed of, and I knew she would be amazing at both if given the chance. I could only hope her hair would be as brightly colored as she imagined even when her human mind forgot all about our adventures. She would even forget about me.

“And after it all you’re still you.”

Looking up at Taehyung, another facet of his personality made itself known to me. On top of his naive, golden-hearted mischief, Taehyung was also a wiseman. Aldara had spoken of his grandmother before, and I could see that that trait was passed onto her eldest grandchild.

“But I still did a bad thing,” I whispered, my voice thick. “And I want to make sure I do everything I can possibly do to make this easier on us. I need all of you to live, Tae. I couldn’t bare it if anyone else died.”

“And we need you to live, too, Bridd,” He replied gently.

I said nothing. I knew that was the truth, but we obviously had different ideas about what was important. My own life meant very little to me after the fight with the elf. Hell, my life had meant little to me the night I found the cottage on fire, but I understood where Taehyung was coming from. I was his friend and he wanted to make sure I was alright. Thinking of Jimin, I knew my life meant even more to him. Still, I held onto my own ideas and that included keeping all of them as far away from harm’s way as possible.

He smiled sadly, “Who are you bringing?”

I sighed, “I haven’t made a decision yet. I don’t want to place anybody at risk or leave you unprotected in case I don’t make it back in time,” I did not voice my concerns for not returning at all. “Cadoc thinks Samanya should be with me, but she’s so fierce I’d rather be here to watch over Jimin.”

“Koda is a wonderful option,” Taehyung suggested after a beat. “She was a warrior in Viridi Gramine and served with the copiae for many years. She would be helpful for getting you to Ozryn and the Quietus would be extra security.”

I could not say the plan was bad, it was far too good, but that was the problem. Koda was an older woman now who could no longer change as far as I knew. She would be slow, and I would have to work twice as hard keeping her out of harm's way. I would have better luck going alone with Sam and finding our own way.

“Then again,” The alpha sucked his teeth, “Koda is rather old. Perhaps Jungkook? No, he’s a boy and too childish.”

The ‘prince’ as Ahn dubbed him was always ready for a fight and light on his feet. He reminded me of Taehyung and Hoseok wrapped up into one young man, but I had my doubts on his ability to follow instructions. Anytime I had seen Jungkook he was either in trouble or on his way into it. So, for my own sanity in the coming weeks, I would agree with Taehyung.

“What about Hoseok?” Taehyung snapped his fingers. “Oh! He would be a perfect choice.”

I nodded along with him knowing I would never ask the alpha to come with me. He and Hyuna were a package deal and that was too many to take along. If I was taking Samanya then I would only bring one other, and I doubted his mate would allow him to go regardless. He almost died a few days ago and was still on bed rest at their home.

“It’s too bad he’s resting,” I threw out knowing it would rule him out entirely. “I should just take Samanya and the two of us can figure it out together.”

“There’s always Namjoon.”

I shook my head vigorously.

“Absolutely not.”

I had made peace with the wolf during the fight, and I was certain our fight in my meadow was long forgotten. It did not mean I wanted to shack up with the alpha. He had proven to me his fickle nature and inability to make a decision on his own. He would be easily swayed, and I did not respect him for it. The thought of traveling with him made my head hurt.

“So stubborn,” Taehyung teased. “Fine. I’ll leave it alone.”

“Thank you.”

“Now,” He grinned, “Care to go gather some of those books I like so much? I think they’ll be a nice way to decompress during the night.”

Walking through the streets, I was pleased by the progress everyone had made rebuilding. The market was still destroyed, but so many homes and businesses on the southside were almost completely finished. The north, were the copiae lived, would be the last place rebuilt. Elder Kim had said the children needed a place to go and the few homes that stood were not enough to house them all. Bo, in her typical fashion, was upset by this but held her tongue.

She never wanted to disrespect a man. The thought made me roll my eyes.

Spotting Namjoon, I was pleased to see him and Taehyung working together. The younger alpha’s family home had been destroyed, all of them having to stay in the palace’s already crowded towers, but his mother was going stir crazy. Catching my gaze, Namjoon offered me a small, hesitant wave. I responded with a polite smile and continued walking. Taehyung was none the wiser.

I was greeted many times, all of them kind, and I tried to stop and help however I could. My magic was still weaker than I would like, and I had not had any time to flex my abilities since the attack. Today, I was hoping to change that.

“Would you like for me to help you with that?” I asked an elderly couple struggling to lift leftover roof tiles from their recent repairs.

“That would be lovely, Oxur Park,” The man replied, his voice gruff. “Just put them in that wheelbarrow. We’re giving the rest to Alpha Taehyung’s family.”

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and attempted to focus. I was lucky the pieces were in a fairly neat pile and would be simple to move so long as I concentrated. A bead of sweat formed on my eyebrow. Lifting my hands, I mumbled under my breath.

“Flotian,” Cracking an eye open, the pile lifted effortlessly.

As quickly as possible, I brought the tiles to the wheelbarrow. Panting now, I knew I needed to flex my muscles a bit more. I was out of shape, and it was showing. With a loud clang, the tiles were ready to be pushed to Taehyung’s.

“Need a hand?”

Dropping my stance, I wiped my forehead and looked at Namjoon. He looked as weary as he had a few moments before, but this time I gave him a real smile. He returned it awkwardly. Whatever had happened during the battle had worn off, his confidence in helping me was replaced by the tongue-twisted man who had stood in my living room begging for forgiveness. Like so many, I owed him an apology as well. Gesturing at the wheelbarrow, I nodded.

“Thank you,” The old woman gushed. “God bless you both!”

Embarrassed, I ducked my head and bowed to the couple. Getting busy with the task, I pointed out a few loose pieces that would not fit in the wheelbarrow. Namjoon gathered them and handed them to my outstretched hands. Taking hold of the heavy, blue metal, the alpha began pushing. I used magic and the leftover tiles floated, following us back down the road.

“Taehyung tells me you are traveling to Viridi Gramine soon.”

I was not expecting small talk, but I was even more taken aback by the lie. The boy was quicker than I thought. The fib would make my disappearance easier to swallow without leading the spies on my trail. It did, however, pose an issue for their neighbors. If the elves believed the wolves to be ready for an attack out East, they may choose to invade sooner.

“Yes,” I lied easily, the word falling off my tongue with such conviction I was almost convinced myself. “I leave in a few days.”

“Would you like an extra set of hands?” He asked. “I know you and I have been on differing sides as of late, but I would like for that to change. I do respect you immensely.”

I smiled sadly. After speaking so ill of the man earlier today he was ready to drop everything to help me. Even if it was to make amends, I acknowledged how unpleasant being away would be. If I were less prideful, I may have accepted his proposal. As it stands, my pride was the only thing I still had to hold on.

“I owe you an apology,” I replied. “I was not fair to you. I let my anger blind me. It seems that’s all I’m good for these days.”

I thought of Jimin and his gentle caresses. I did not deserve his kindness. With the rumors spreading he was bound to hear of Taehyung’s lie. He would have a few choice words for me, that I was sure, but I knew we would work through it if I was given a chance to explain myself. He trusted me enough to allow me that. At least, I hoped he did.

“Regardless,” I sighed, “I’m sorry. I was out of line. I hope you can forgive me.”

“I have never been known to hold grudges for very long,” The man replied.

“Still, I will have to decline the offer,” I threw the tiles on the ground. We were at the edge of Taehyung’s property and the young alpha was hard at work. With barely more than a small wave, Taehyung greeted us. Sparing Namjoon a tight-lipped smile, I continued. “I want as many people in Bangtan as possible. I’m traveling with a small group of quietus.”

Namjoon nodded, his long hair falling out of its loose ponytail.

“Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

“I’m sure I won’t.”

With that, I bid both alphas goodbye and turned back around.

Standing in front of Jimin’s home was a short, pear-shaped woman. Her salt and pepper hair falling messily around her shoulders, thick bangs boxing in her already squared face. Tanned and beginning to show signs of her aging, her eyes crinkled happily at their corners as I approached. Her dress was tighter than it should have been, almost indecent in comparison to the other women around, but her large hips made it difficult to sew around. Her body would be considered provocative by the men, but the sight of it only made me feel inferior.

I had not realized Jimin’s mother was so beautiful.

“Y/N,” She greeted me happily, her voice soft and sugary sweet.

I bowed, covering my chest with a hand, and closed my eyes. I needed only a second to regroup myself. I had not been prepared to meet my fiance’s mother today. Especially without him by my side. Mi-Jeong radiated positive energy and her smile was infectious. I hoped I looked as happy as she did, but I only felt myself growing more overwhelmed.

“Good afternoon, Mrs.Park,” I winced at how breathless I sounded. I cleared my throat. “How are you?”

“I’m well,” She winked. I did not know why. “You’re just in time for lunch.”

Ushering me inside, I was relieved to hear Jin’s loud voice booming over all of the others. Yoongi was no longer on the living room floor, and Wendy’s gentle laugh mixed with the others. Elated, I quickly took off my shoes and made my way into the kitchen. Mi-Jeong followed behind me, her little feet pitter-pattering against the wooden floors.

The little house was in perfect condition and the smell of fresh paint hung in the air. Spotting Callisto and Hyun-Jin, I smiled at the paint staining their clothes. At least we were all trying to make the most of our horrible situation. Enver was the first to spot me and a huge, face-splitting smile broke out across his little face.

“Bridd!” He cried; his excitement palpable.

A streak of baby blue paint stuck to his cheek, but I did not care. The boy ran to give me a hug and I felt the wet paint soak through my dress. Greeted with loud, obnoxious cheers, I waved the others off and let go of my young friend. Yoongi looked around and I was sad to see he was still disabled. I had a feeling that would be a part of his life now. I hoped it would one day fade, but I was not sure the magic elves used to cause such damage.

“You have to try this,” Wendy moaned, pushing a large plate of noodles my way.

The noodles were thick and covered in a thick, chunky, black sauce. They smelled heavenly. Wendy passed over her pair of chopsticks and gestured at the plate once more. Her mouth was still filled. Picking up a large mouthful, I slurped.

They were delicious. So savory and salty it made my eyes close in content. The noise of content I made was involuntary and I quickly went in for another bite. The plate was pulled away from me and I scowled. Yoona raised an eyebrow at me.

“Is there meat in this?” I asked.

“Pork,” Callisto replied, chewing on a large plate of vegetable noodles.

My stomach turned uncomfortably, and I was suddenly less enthusiastic. They were so delicious; I was almost angry about the pork’s presence. Still, I watched Yoongi bite down on a piece of fried fish and felt less guilty. These were trying times and beggars could not be chooser. I grabbed the bowl back, took another large bite, before Yoona pulled back her way.

“There’s plenty of food. You don’t get to hog all of the Jajangmyeon.”

Someone tapped my shoulder. Mi-Jeong smiled at me, and it reminded me so much of Jimin’s I paused. Holding up a pair of clean chopsticks, she chuckled. I handed Wendy back the borrowed sticks and took my own. Seemingly satisfied, the little woman elbowed her way into the circle and began to grab the dishes she wanted for herself.

The dining table was far too big for all of us to sit at and it seemed everyone chose to stand. Yoongi and Tae-Jin, who had been discharged from the infirmary this morning, were the only two who sat. Mi-Jeong moved Enver out of her way and sat. I could see Wendy placing food on Yoongi’s plate and frowned.

I would have a talk with her about that at some point. I did not have the time or patience to deal with any of that right now. Jin noticed where I was looking and turned. With a deep sigh, he shook his head, but ignored it. It was probably for the best. A couple’s quarrel would cause a huge uproar within the families.

“Good to see you walking around, Mr.Kim,” I greeted Jin’s father.

“Nice to see you, too, kid.”

Passing around bowls and plates, I listened to the conversations around me. Jin and Wendy helped Jimin’s family with the construction repairs, and Mi-Jeong let Enver pick out the new colors for the walls. She had taken a very big liking to the boy. Thelma and the other women were taking a break from helping a family a few houses down but were planning on getting back to work as soon as they were finished eating.

“I was able to get Mannix this morning,” Jin threw my way. “Poor boy was shaking and so scared. He fell asleep in Callisto’s bed.”

I frowned. August, Yoongi’s cat, rubbed against my legs and I guessed he had gone for both of them. Hopefully the two of them will feel better soon. They had been left alone for quite a while. Wendy started talking about the witches from Syrena. Apparently, her coven was planning on coming out to the village to help. That brightened my mood. At least, in my absence, others will be around to help.

Callisto and Mi-Jeong soon left the room taking Thelma and Tae-Jin in tow. They were going to figure out a way to fix some of the loose floorboards in my future sister-in-law’s room. The circle around the table started to dissipate leaving only Yoongi, Jin, Wendy, and Ji-Hyun behind. The three of my friends were all jokingly loudly with one another as I took Mi-Jeong’s seat.

“So, Viridi Gramine?” Ji-Hyun’s eyes were telling, and I knew from the arch of his brow he did not believe Taehyung for a second. “Are you sure you can trust a Quietus to take care of you?”

The wolf was relaxed, his face and body language giving nothing away. Crouched beside my chair we would look like we were having a normal conversation, but he could not keep the malice out of his tone. Sinking into the chair, I turned my body towards his and hoped I could remain neutral. I did not want to fight with Jimin’s brother, but I refused to be intimidated.

I cleared my throat, “I’m sure we will be just fine.”

I did not have the heart to tell him I had yet to make any real decisions. That this entire trip was going to be a convoluted road of impulsive decisions. That I was going to be in more danger than anyone else could ever know. Ji-Hyun’s icy glare told me I did not need to say a word. He already knew what I was doing. His eyes were far more unnerving than Taehyung’s.

“Well,” He spoke softly, careful to keep the others from overhearing, “We can all hope you change your mind. Seeing you hurt would be heartbreaking for my brother. He barely survived it the last time.”

I had to commend the boy; he was very good at laying on the guilt. A thick cloud of shame wrapped itself around my body and it took effort to keep my expression neutral. Again, as it had been for days now, my anger bubbled to the surface. I could not remember being this angry in many, many years. I thought back to Namjoon and the incident in my front yard and looked away.

I was lying to myself. Lying horribly. If I said I could not remember the last time I was able to relax then that would be more truthful. Anxiety and anger were a part of who I was, but I did a wonderful job at hiding it behind snarky comments and isolation. I had never been around so many people for this long and hiding these facets of my personality were growing harder and harder. Soon it would be impossible. This trip could be a blessing in disguise. Once again, I wanted to go off on my own. I knew I was lonely- it was companionship that I was working out.

I thought of Shiloh and sighed heavily. At least she knew when to give me my space. No one else seemed to understand my needs the same way. It was to be expected. She had been with me since I was a young child and never once thought about going away. When the others moved on with their lives after Aldara’s death, when they left me to destroy myself after I burned my bridges, there was Shiloh and her kindness. The singular light in my life for as long as I could remember- the only shine coming close being Yoongi. Now I was alone again and did not know when they would leave. This time, my closest ally was dealing with his own problems and would not have time for mine.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“We’ll see.”

It clicked then. Ji-Hyun believed I was fleeing.

“You may have everyone else fooled,” His voice was so soft, so low, I was positive we were the only two who could understand a word he said. “But know this- if you ever hurt my brother again, I will not be so forgiving. Taehyung is a fool to let you do this. I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could throw you.”

Smirking at my distress, Ji-Hyun pushed his hair out of his face.

“You’re abandoning us,” He cocked his head to the side and gave me a scathing once over. “Jimin would be a fool to think overwise. You will always be a coward. I mean, you let my friends die without blinking an eye, what’s the rest of them?”

Disgusted, I stood and placed my chopsticks in the kitchen sink before stalking back outside. I did not need to put up with his bullshit on top of everything else I was handling. He should feel lucky I walked away. Violent images of striking the boy with fire filled my head followed by ripping his head off the way I had the elf’s.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I used all of my willpower to push my murderous thoughts to the deepest corners of my mind. Again, I was losing control. Stepping out front, I took a breath of fresh air and made every attempt to calm my racing heart. Instead of calm, however, I became even angrier. Because right in front of me was none other than Jimin, the love of my life, looking at me as if I were a perfect stranger.

“Leaving already?” He asked, eyes narrowed.

Great, just great, now he was mad at me as well. My already shaky control was spiraling. I felt my skin heating and my breathing picked back up. I was going to explode if he did not stop. I bit my lip and took a nice, deep breath. His scent did little to calm me. In fact, a small spike in anxiety only made my fists clench.

“I’m going for a walk,” I managed to get out, my voice far lighter than I was expecting. Jimin’s face darkened. “I didn’t realize it was taboo. Is walking illegal now?”

My sarcasm was not aiding either one of us right now. Whatever the reason for his anger, I should not be egging him on. Yet, I could not stop it. Trembling, I closed the front door and took a few more steps outside. Jimin did not move. I did not want to get any closer to him.

“Why is Taehyung lying to everyone?” He demanded, voice low and husky.

“Ask him yourself,” I snapped, already fed up with everyone and their conclusions.

“Are you lying to me?”

Scoffing, I shoved our shoulders as I passed him. He gave me a low, warning growl and turned to face me. Whatever voice that usually told me to bite my tongue was not around. It must have realized I would not listen. Looking up at him, I struggled to figure out how I really felt. Angry? Sad? Disappointed?

Looking into his eyes, I realized I was hurt. And that was a recipe for disaster. Steeling, I shook my head and looked at my feet. I had forgotten my shoes in my haste to get out of there.

“I told you we would speak, didn’t I?” I challenged. “How is that lying to you? Have you no faith in me at all?”

His pained expression told me everything that I needed to know.

“Of course,” I pulled away from him as if I had been burned. “Why would you anyway? It is me after all.”

“Amica-”

“No,” I threw my hands up. “I’ll see you later.”

I needed time to cool off and get my head back on. We had yet to argue, and I knew I would soon devolve into insults and petty jabs. I walked away without looking back, ignoring him calling out for me. He didn’t understand. They never understand.

I should have known he could never forgive me.

Koda stood beside my bedroom door, a large towel in one hand and a small pile of cloth in the other. Her thin clothes would have done little to help me in the cold hallways, but I doubted she felt the draft. She gave me a gentle smile as I approached which I returned. It seemed she would be adhering to Sol’s request from this morning.

“What time will you be leaving tonight?” She asked, handing me the towel.

“After I bathe,” I replied. “I will shift and leave through the broken window downstairs.”

Koda chuckled breathily. We were both keeping our voices down. Neither one of us wanted our conversation to be overheard by prying ears. I knew Bo was listening, but her chambers were on the opposite side of the palace. Even if she tried her best, I doubted she would be able to hear us- unless she was lurking around corners. I would not put it past her.

“That’s been repaired,” Koda sniffed the air, paused, and continued to walk. “I’ve broken the latches on your bedroom window, so you should be able to leave easily tonight.”

After my bath, Koda left me to dress myself and walk back to my room. She was trying to respect my privacy as much as possible, but I knew it was difficult for her to watch me do what she perceived as her job. I would never get used to someone else washing my hair- it was strange. She did, however, put her foot down about drying my hair properly.

“You will get sick, Y/N,” She scolded me gently, her fingers already in my hair.

She took great care and time drying the strands. She never pulled too hard or placed too much pressure on my scalp. After drying it completely, she ran oils and products through it that smell heavily of rose. I tried to convince her to let me go earlier, pleading that I needed to see Jimin, but she refused to budge. Koda was stubborn when she wanted to be.

By the time I left, it was long past midnight, and I was certain that Jimin would already be in bed. Before I could make it to him, Cadoc was floating beside me and told me we needed to speak. Tonight, we would talk about the trip and who I would be bringing. Tomorrow I will be leaving. It only served to make me all the more restless. Tonight, would be our last night and I wanted to get as much time in as I could. Even if it started with an argument, I was hopeful we could end it entangled in his bed.

“What?” I snapped, landing on the ground.

Shifting back, I stood in the destroyed market in nothing but the thin, cotton gown Koda gave me. The air was far more bothersome as a human than a bird and I rubbed my arms. Cadoc smiled apologetically and raised his arms in surrender.

“We will be quick, okay?”

I grit my teeth and nod.

“Have you made a decision yet?” He asked.

“I will go with Sam,” I conceited, hoping this conversation would be over soon.

“She will be pleased to hear that,” Cadoc grinned. “Lorcan will deliver everything you need to take with you tonight. Look over it as much as you can tomorrow, and Sam will meet up with you at your cottage.”

“Thank you.”

Cadoc shook his head, “No thanks needed.”

My skin itched to walk away from him. I wanted to see Jimin, but I knew this was an important conversation. Trying my best to stay pleasant, I nodded and forced a smile on my face. From Cadoc’s amused expression, I failed miserably. Bidding me a goodnight, Cadoc vanished into the wind leaving me alone once more.

Jimin was pacing when I walked into his small home. His hair was let loose, the silver strands frizzed and wild, but beautiful, nonetheless. Our fight this afternoon was still bothering him, and when I closed the front door, his head snapped in my direction. Worrying his bottom lip, I could see blood pooling where he had bitten off his skin. Eyes turning into slits, Jimin’s glare was murderous.

“So, you’re planning on getting yourself killed?”

The question hung in the tense air. Whatever hopes I had for this being a good night were dashed away. Cocking his head to the side, Jimin waited for me to speak but I could not find the words to say. He knew and I was at a loss. Taehyung must have said something in the fear that I really would take the cowardly route.

“Nothing to say?” Jimin pushed, seething. “You had plenty to say at my mother’s. Come on then, tell me.”

I scowled. His bad attitude was understandable, but it did little to soften my increasingly hurt feelings. That anger from earlier was rearing its ugly head. I had plans to tell him tonight and I was angry at Taehyung for going behind my back. Squaring my shoulders, I sighed loudly.

“I doubt you’d listen to me anyway,” My voice was cold and hard. Far harder than I intended for it to be. “You’ve already seemed to have your mind made up about things.”

Scoffing, Jimin marched towards me with a purpose. Standing my ground, I tried my best to dispel my growing anger with little success. My newfound temperament would only make this situation worse but when our chests pressed together and Jimin looked every bit the alpha he was, I did not care. I wanted to scream and fight, bite and scratch, maybe then I could feel myself relax. Maybe all of my anger was a buildup of pressure that I desperately needed to get rid of.

“Why is it that I have to hear about this plan of yours from Sol of all people?” He demanded.

Of course, Taehyung would have spoken to his mate about our conversation. I was foolish to believe anything between us would remain a secret. Now, Sol’s face flashed through my mind and my resent bubbled over. Who the hell was she to tell Jimin anything?

“Why are you taking her word over mine?” I challenged, my teeth gritted.

“Stop answering my questions with questions!” Jimin shouted, walking away from me. “I believe Sol more than anybody. More than you. At least one of you has never kept anything from me.”

That was a low blow and we both knew it. Instead of remorse, the flash of guilt that came across his face soon morphed into indifference. He almost seemed proud of the insult. I refused to cry, the angry sting in my eyes only adding fuel to my already raging fire, and I swallowed thickly. Two can play this game but if he was more concerned about winning then I would gladly let him insult me alone. Taking a step back, I prepared to leave for the night.

“For what it’s worth,” I looked at my feet, “I really am sorry.”

“Stop apologizing to me,” Jimin snapped, his voice so harsh and critical it made me cower. “You’ve done nothing but apologize for days. What else can you do?”

I knew he was just upset and hurt by my plans, our fight only making this one that much worse. I knew he would never say something like that to me under normal circumstances. I knew he would feel awful for his choice of words once he had the chance to cool off. Yet, the hurt and anger spread through my chest and infected every part of my body. He was right, I could not offer him anything but apologies. I knew it was too good to be true. Spiraling once more, I did not realize I was crying until the tears ran down my neck and tickled me.

“Don’t apologize when you’re going to keep doing this shit,” He spat, each word laced with venom. He was only a few feet away from me and I had never felt further away from him. “Apologize when you decide to change. Apologize when you realize I don’t need a martyr- I need someone who won’t lie and keep things from me.”

“I skewed up, alright?” I finally responded, “But I never once lied to you.”

“Yes-”

“No,” I cut him off, my blood boiling. “I did not lie. I told you I was leaving, that it would be difficult, and I told you I would tell you when I knew more.”

“But you were thinking of lying to me till the end!” He screamed.

“I admit that,” I shot right back, my voice growing louder. “I would do anything if it meant you were safe- even if that meant lying to you.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you!”

“Morologus es!”

The silence was so very loud then. Bottom lip wobbling, I took yet another step back. Whatever comeback I could have thought of fell short. Jimin’s conviction was astonishing, and his doubt felt like a punch in the gut. I needed to get out of here. I could hardly breathe, and his scent was becoming suffocating.

“Stop using me as an excuse,” His onslaught continued. “Just admit you want to be the hero. You can’t just be happy with me- no! You have to be the Bridd who runs, and jumps, and begs for the slightest bit of danger if it means she can be the victor! Even when it means getting an entire village killed!”

His words felt like a slap in the face. Was that the reason he thought I wanted to go? It had never even crossed my mind, but the confidence he held made me doubt myself. Wiping my face, I shouted obscenities and tried to catch my breath. I knew he blamed me. It was all my fault. All of this was my fault. Jimin completely ignored me and stood a few feet away, his words like knives, and his gaze like stone.

“This-” He gestured between the two of us, “-Whatever you think you may feel for me is wrong. You don’t love me. This is not love. Running towards your death to redeem yourself is not loving me.”

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything,” He murmured, the edge finally beginning to soften.

“Did you say something to your brother?” I demanded.

“Wh-what?” He spluttered.

I laughed humorlessly, “Cut the shit, Jimin. Whatever you’ve said about me has obviously affected his view of me, or was calling me murderer some one-off occurrence? Somehow, I have a hard time believing he’s come to that conclusion all on his own.”

“Ji-Hyun would never say something like that,” He hissed, his breath heavy. “Why would I speak badly about you behind your back? Unlike you, I’m an upfront person.”

My anger flared once more, and I could slowly see the corners of my vision distorting. As badly as I wanted to end this fight and make up, I knew that would not be possible. Not now. Not ever. Again, he was calling me a liar. Again, I would have to fight this uphill battle to prove myself. Again, I was losing a game I never knew I was playing in the first place.

Cadoc had been wrong. Love was never given freely. Nothing in this life was. Jimin would always need for me to prove myself to him. I would have to fight, bite, scream, and scratch if I wanted to show him that I care. Why I ever hoped it would be different was foolish on my part.

“Are you so angry at me that you’re dragging my brother into this?” He shouted.

I scoffed, “There you go again, treating me as if I am some kind of irrational monster. So, I ask you again, do you really think that little of me?”

Jimin said nothing. Frustrated and tired, I finally had enough. I could smell ash and smoke all around me, and I knew I was about to find myself back at my cottage. Cordelia’s face was in my mind, Aldara’s arm hanging out of the wolf’s mouth, and I knew I needed to leave. Numb and slowly dissociating, I sniffled.

“Fine.”

“What?” He had the nerve to look abashed.

Hand on the front doorknob, I shook my head in defeat. It was over. Jimin was rejecting my love and whatever else I had to offer him. He did not believe in me at all. Somehow that hurt me more than the rejection. His faith had always been constant, his love tender and warm, and that was gone now, too. I had nothing. I was nothing. I deserved whatever I had coming to me. Finally, I had gotten my wish. Finally, he was shouting.

“I didn’t mean to ruin your life,” Devoid of emotion, I sniffled. “I know I made a mistake, but I’m trying my best. Doesn’t that matter?” My voice tapered off towards the end.

Jimin said nothing. I turned the knob and was back outside. I stopped waiting for him to stop me once I could no longer see his home. My feet felt like they weighed twenty pounds each and dragged along the dirt road beneath my feet. I needed to get back home. I chuckled humorlessly when I realized I no longer had one.

I truly gave up on him coming to gather me in his arms once the palace came into view. It was eerily quiet tonight and I wanted to go get lost. I wanted to forget. I wanted to leave.

The thought occurred to me so quickly, so easily, that it made me smile. Yes, I would leave tonight. It was better this way. I would no longer be a burden to this place and the others could live peacefully without me. Even if I died, I doubted it would matter. Nothing I had ever done worked out anyway. It would be nothing new.

Shifting, I scaled the walls and flew into my bedroom. Just as Cadoc said there were countless items at my disposal all wrapped up and ready to go. I would have plenty of time to look over them tomorrow morning. I would sleep in Moland tonight, hopefully not getting too lost, and try to ask for directions once I reached civilization. It was better than hurting anybody else. It was better than getting any more blood on my hands.

At least I could remain the hero.

I cried in pain. I could not believe he thought so lowly of me. No wonder he refused to touch me, I probably disgusted him to no end, and he was hateful that we were bound to one another. Something told me I should stop packing, stop moving, and to breathe, but I ignored it. I did not care what it had to say.

Throwing a few spare changes of clothes, paper, and a few spell books, I knew I needed to change out of the frilly nightgown Koda had changed me into. Throwing on an old, loose shirt, I looked around for my trousers when I stumbled across Aldara’s journals. I had yet to open them since I came here. Running my fingers over the spines, I made the split decision to take them with me. I would need her company to keep me sane.

Finally, I came to a stop as I caught sight of my jewelry box. I had Heidi’s ring on my left hand and Griselda’s on my right, but they felt far too empty. Opening the lid, the cool ceramic felt heavier than normal in my hands. It took a few minutes of digging before I found Aldara’s ring and slipped on my right hand. The bird’s head encased my entire index finger, but I did not care. I would be taking this ring. I found my own a moment later, a chain wrapped around the band.

Pulling it out, I secured it around my neck and looked down. I gasped. There shining and glittering under the candlelight was Taehyung’s necklace. The carnelian had been marginally larger than the tip of my thumb, perfectly rounded, and it’s red coloring deep and beautiful. I could see the faint, dark marbling within it, but the lights made it hard to capture its beauty. Spiraling around the stone was a thin wire of steel that ended with a small loop. I thought Taehyung would like something simple, so I finished it off with a long piece of dark cord that I carefully braided. It was beautiful.

My anger dissipated at the sight of it. I had spent days working on that necklace hoping I would not break the stone. I completed it a few days before the present ceremony, but when everything went to shit, I had completely forgotten about it. I placed it on the desk and sighed.

Thick, hot tears ran down my cheeks as I cried. I had such high hopes for everyone. If I could turn back time I would, why could nobody see that? Why was Taehyung the only person I believed when he said he would love me regardless? Bitter, I wiped my face roughly and went back to packing.

He was the only one who meant it, that’s why.

Reaching into my back, I pulled out a single sheet of paper and prepared my ink. I would have to leave something for him at least. No need to worry the people who cared for me. Even Jimin. I can’t forgive myself, but I could forgive him. Maybe when I come back, we could work things out.

Taehyung,

Do you remember this? It feels like a lifetime ago. I hope you like it. I wish I could have made a matching one for Sol, but maybe that would have been too perfect. When I get back, I will make sure I have one waiting for her neck. The two of you deserve it. Even if I am angry with your wife, I know I will get over that soon enough.

Tell the others how sorry I am for this impromptu banishment. I fear I have made a real mess of things lately and I don’t know how to make it better. No one believes in me, no one thinks I’m capable, and I can’t figure out what it is they mean by it? Am I not strong enough or is it because it does not matter? I’m sorry if this is confusing. Tonight, has been too much for me. No- today has been too much. The last ten years have been too much.

I haven’t had my head on right in a very long time, Tae. So, I beg of you to forgive me. I promise you that no one had a part in my decision to leave like this. It’s all my own doing. I can only hope I make it back in time to tell you how much you mean to me. How much all of you mean to me.

Tell Yoongi that I will miss him more than I miss breathing. Tell Jin his laughter will be something I think about to keep me going. Tell Wendy how much I’m going to miss her hugs and will yearn for them every day. I need my witches to know that I adore every single one of them and will do whatever it takes to keep them out of harm’s way. Thank Thelma for me. Let Enver know how proud I am and that the blue looks nice.

Lastly, let Jimin know I love him more than anything else in this life. Even my own. That will never change, even when he is frustrated and angry at the world. I promise I will try my best to come back home in one piece. I promise, as the Gods look down upon me, that I will do everything in my power to bring help back. I don’t care where I have to go or what I have to do. I will not come back empty handed this time.

Be careful. The elves are not known for their mercy.

With all my love,

Y/N

Slipping on my pants, snatching a pair of earrings Yoongi gifted me for my birthday a few years ago, and lacing up pair of boots, I slung the bag over my back and enchanted my things to flex and change as I did. Afterwards, I shifted and flew out of the window. I did not look down or wait for somebody to find me. Tomorrow morning, they would wake and the cause of all their misery would be gone. I would fight tooth and nail if it meant I had a better chance of getting help to these people. Aldara had never led me astray before.

I wished I could have told Jimin that.

Broken hearted and lost, I flew above the trees and watched the world I know leave me behind. Flying would get me somewhere, but the elves would grow suspicious of a raven wearing a backpack. Soaring, Thelma’s small boat home cut through the trees and I knew I would have some place to rest my head tonight.

I wished Jimin could have been here with me.

Translations:

Matrina - Godmother

Patrinus - Godfather

Mi conjunx - My wife (Addressing)

Mi coniunx - My husband (Addressing)

Morologus es! - You’re talking like a moron!

I know I’m a jerk for this...please don’t be mad at me. It’ll get better... eventually.

Taglist: @greezenini @adventures-in-bookland @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @zae007live @jimin-neverout @nikkiordonez12 @canarystwin @yamekomz @chimthicc @michiiedreamer @amorieus

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ashisgreedy · 1 year

Text

Imelda Reyes x F!MC

“In Her Embrace”

WC: 2,500+

AN: Guess who I have a crush on 🥴

Dear Diary,

I'm sorry I haven't written in you for a while. In the past few weeks, something wonderful happened… and I have been otherwise occupied with this new, incredible thing. I can't stop smiling as I begin to write this. I would like to start from the beginning so I may paint the full picture for myself to recall as I grow older.

My best friend Imelda and I have been growing close lately. After my last break-up, she encouraged me to stay single for a while. I had been dating back to back as you can see in my previous diary entries. But, something about the way she was almost begging me to turn down Andrew Larson’s invitation for dinner made me seriously consider it. I took her advice and decided I would stay single for a bit longer to really help remind myself of who I am.

She was happy when I told her this, telling me she always hated all my boyfriends, that they didn’t deserve me. I smiled at that, remembering a time when she wouldn’t have spoken so freely to me. It used to be low blows and curt comments from her, but now, since we’ve grown as friends and I earned her respect on a broom, I’ve been privy to how she truly feels.

Two weeks ago, it was girls night. We planned a sleepover in my dorm room over the holiday. All my other roommates were gone for the extended weekend back home and Imelda and I took full advantage of the privacy, making a pillow fort by my bed and reading to one another out of the fantasy book floating around the Slytherin girl’s dorms. The book was something someone brought from back home, a muggle story where the main character was female and went on all these badass adventures. It's now Imelda's favorite.

She braided my hair, a bit too tight I might add, I had to loosen it to stop the headache from forming, and I manicured her nails. She keeps them short for her quidditch matches and I made sure to add a tiny heart to both her thumbnails in black paint.

When it came time for sleeping, we both changed into our pajamas and tucked into my bed for the night. We could hardly stop chatting even long after the lights were out. Imelda was so giggly this night, in a better mood than I had seen her in a while. Her laugh was contagious and I couldn’t help but share it.

We found ourselves tangled up, giggling about nothing and everything late into the night. There was a moment, just one, where I felt a shift in our dynamic. She looked at me, her legs twisted with mine, her hand sliding through my hair, and she just stared into my eyes. I didn’t know what to do. The laughing had died down and I supposed she was growing tired as the hours went on.

“Good night, then…” I finally said, breaking whatever tension had begun to build around us. I pulled up the blanket and snuggled my head into the pillow.

I saw her face go from bright and cheery to dark and stormy in a nanosecond. She huffed a ‘night’ to me and turned away. My forehead creased at the sudden change in her demeanor. Had I done something wrong? I scoured my mind thinking of the entire evening all the way up until this moment.

“Imelda… Is everything alright? We were just laughing moments ago.” I tried, my heart swirling with fear that I had somehow caused a rift to develop between us. I reached out to touch her arm, the one my hands had already been all over this evening to provide her comfort.

"You didn't do anything wrong..." She mumbles. Her voice was wavering and a piece of my heart broke.

I rubbed her arm with more confidence. “You know you can always talk to me about anything. We’re best friends.” I used my most reassuring voice. “I’m here for you.” There was a distinct sniff that came from Imelda so I immediately wrapped her in my arms and held her to my chest. “You can talk to me about anything, Mel. I mean it.”

She didn’t cry as I held her, she fought off the tears as best as she could. I could feel the war inside her body as she held back, trembling and squeezing her eyes shut. She was always so strong and I wanted to allow her the space to feel whatever emotion she was feeling if she was in the mood to express it.

After some time, she calmed and her breath became even. Imelda finally rolled over, looking at me. The light from the window spilled over her features and I gave her a small smile. “What has got you so worked up?” I asked. I was waiting for a spitfire answer but she just stared at me again with those big brown eyes.

She wrapped her arms around me and I did the same to her. We shared her pillow while I rubbed her back. She adjusted herself and my hand went a bit too far, grazing her backside.

“Sorry,” I said, pulling my hand back. The blanket’s slid down cooling off the body heat between us.

She smirked and grabbed my hand, placing it on her thigh. “It’s fine. You can touch me anywhere.”

My fingers rested on her exposed skin, a bit higher than proper since her sleep shorts were riding up. I froze, unsure of what kind of joke this was. She teased me constantly, but never like this. Her toes grazed my foot as she brought her leg closer to me.

“What… do you mean by that?” I asked, hand still stiff on her exposed skin.

She took in a deep breath. “I mean what I said.”

She didn’t elaborate and I found my thumb sliding in small circles on her thigh. Chilled bumps rose and I gently squeezed her thigh where it transitioned into the swell of her ass. My mind felt blank as I did this, driven by a tiny voice inside my head for more. Her skin was soft and warm and she smelled of the same floral soap I used.

“Hey,” Imelda said, cupping my face and taking me out of the trance I was in. “If I am wrong, please tell me...”

I watched as she slowly inched forward. I looked down at her dark rosy lips, slightly parting as they neared mine. I leaned forward and our noses brushed, her breath fanned over my cheeks, then our lips met. I didn’t feel confused like I thought I should, kissing another woman. Instead, I felt free, like I was soaring. As Imelda tilted her head to deepen the kiss, I found my hand traveling up and down her form.

I’ve never felt the spark most people describe when kissing a lover. It's always been just that, two lips touching. But this… it felt right in every way possible. The way her lips quivered pressing into mine sent a bolt straight through me. What was once a cup of the face to pull one close was now a caress of affection and devotion, and what used to be groping and foreplay was a gentle escapade to explore one another for the sake of admiration and longing.

The entire world could be burning just outside but it wouldn’t even compare to the sudden passion that was set ablaze in my heart for her, for my best friend. Imelda lay back on the bed and pulled me with her. Her tongue darted into my mouth and I couldn't suppress the noise that escaped me. Now this, this was the feeling I'd been seeking all my life in the arms of another. I smiled into her kiss realizing it had been within my reach this whole time.

I touched her soft hair and slid my fingers down to her waist. I felt her curves and the strong muscles underneath from her many sporting practices. I then dared to move my hand up her stomach, splaying my fingers out to feel all of her. She had given me permission to touch her, but I wanted to give her a chance to change her mind. The closer I got to her chest the more her breathing picked up.

I cupped her breast in my hand and felt jubilant when she moaned for me. I was falling apart, breaking and shattering, and being rebuilt by her touches and sounds. I squeezed her breast again, the thin layer of her sleep shirt leaving nothing to the imagination, and rubbed my thumb over the soft peak. Her body came alive for me, her nipple hardening under my touch. I groaned into the kiss, a new feeling sweeping over me knowing I had this effect on her.

She was my best friend, my closest ally, and here she was, moaning and rubbing her body against mine as we tangled together, pining for more of my touch. I wondered if she was just as turned on as I was. I felt the heat between my legs and couldn't get over the idea that maybe she was just as turned on too.

"Imelda" I breathed "May I… uh" I tugged at her sleep shorts, the thin fabric stretching as I did.

She started kicking them off in a flurry. "Gods, yes."

I helped her out of her shorts and panties. On a roll, I pulled off her top and she tugged mine off too. Her hands cupped my newly exposed breast and her lips moved to kiss my nipple. A jolt of pleasure shot through me at the soft yet pleasurable sensation.

I moved my hand to her thighs and pushed until she parted for me. I had been trembling but nothing like this as my hand made its way up her leg. I felt embarrassed by the shaking but adrenaline was making its way through my veins in a frenzy. Imelda whimpered when my fingers grazed her center. My breath caught when my digit ran down her slit and found her so wet.

"I want to taste you." I gently pushed her to lay flat on her back again. "Please, please Imelda. Say yes," I begged, the warmth of her slick on my fingers causing me to lose my mind.

"Yes!" She pushed on my head until I was between her thighs. A smirk grew on my lips seeing her beautiful personality come out, the one I'd grown to love.

I pushed her legs apart, looking at the sight before me. Fuck, she was perfect. Every ounce of her body was beautifully and wonderfully made just for me, it felt. I used my thumb to reveal her clit and sighed when the nub was just as pink and swollen as I'd hoped.

Imelda groaned and rocked her hips, bucking against nothing. I ran my finger down the seam and met her entrance. Effortlessly, my finger slid inside. Her walls were silky smooth as they flexed around my intruding digit.

"That's enough teasing." Imelda decided.

I nodded. "I'm sorry, I will take time to explore you more later" I apologized, giving her clit a soft kiss.

Imelda groaned and tangled her hand in my hair again, pushing until my mouth was fully on her pussy. I licked and pressed my tongue down, feeling the bud roll over my tongue and give way to pressure. Imelda was practically panting the more I lapped at her clit

I circled my lips over the swelled clit and sucked lightly until her breath hitched. I used my tongue to swirl in circles until her legs were trembling around me. Her moans and reactions were all I could have ever wanted from her. I let up, giving her clit a momentary break while I moved down her cunt to taste the wetness unfolding. The taste was like no other. I groaned as I ventured more into the source.

I pressed my tongue flat and ran it all along the seam of her pussy. I gripped her rocking hips, keeping her at the perfect angle for my mouth. Imelda yelled my name with a string of curses and began to arch off the bed.

She didn't have to tell me, I knew, I could tell how close she was in the way her body amped up. I focused on her clit again, slipping my finger back inside her and rubbing circles over her g-spot. She was pulling at my hair, anchoring my face to rub her clit all over my tongue in a desperate manner.

I had never been so turned on in my life than when her moans became lewd and her cunt throbbed around my finger. I had known her for so long, I thought I’d known everything about her. But, this was very new. The way she whimpered my name, her lewd low moans, how she arched forward, keeping eye contact with me as pleasure pulsed through her. I reached up, cupping her breast in my hand and rubbing to add just a hint more pleasure to her euphoric moment.

When she came down, I kissed all over her thighs. I moved up her stomach and kissed her breasts again. I moved to her neck and tasted her skin and a hint of sweat.

She gasped and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tight to her warm body. We lay like that for a long moment before I was pushed down, looking up at her.

It was my turn, then it was her turn again… then my turn again, over and over until the sun filled the bedroom.

We got about 45 minutes of sleep before we decided it was fruitless and got up for the day.

We took a shower together, and I got to wash her beautiful hair for her. She helped clean me off with the wash rag getting every inch of me clean. We made-out in the shower under the warm running water. I told her how beautiful she was and got to watch her cheeks blush in the light for the first time. She rolled her eyes playfully and pulled me in for an even hotter kiss.

We floated through breakfast and held hands under the table. We didn't leave each other's company until days later for her first mandatory quidditch practice began. The holiday break was over and classes would be starting up again soon.

I sat outside the quidditch pitch studying to get a head start on various classes until she was done. The next time I saw her, she had her hair back in a low ponytail and wore her green quidditch uniform.

She had a single yellow flower in her hand as she joined me on the lawn. She offered it to me, twirling it in her fingers, with one question "Will you be my girlfriend?"

The hug I gave her had me tackling her to the ground. We both giggled and I said yes, a thousand times yes, as I kissed her neck and cheek. We finally looked at one another, her smile more wide than I'd ever seen it, and shared our first kiss as a couple.

So, Diary, that is why I haven't been around the last few weeks to update you. I will try to keep up with my entries in the future, but I can't promise I won't be swept away by my girlfriend yet again.

M.C.

#imelda reyes #imelda reyes x mc #imelda reyes x reader

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m00nsbaby · 1 year

Note

One of my fav fic authors taking requests? 👁️👁️

Hello!! Is it ok if you could do a fluffly little Steven x reader oneshot where he comforts the reader after finding them locked in the bathroom after they have a sensory overload at a party?

I’m aware this is kind of specific and as always with fanfic request, you don’t have to write it :)

Thank you!!!

stop you are going to make me blush 🥺🥺 Also, I loved the prompt, finally i'm not getting sent to the corner lol <3

Life of the party.

Steven Grant x reader.

Tags & warnings. Comfort at a sensory overload.

Word count. 728.

Summary.

I keep thinking about you, how you level me out sometimes, When I'm out on my head, and I don't wanna face it. You said it's all for a reason, what the fuck is the reason now? Coming down, bring me back, I'm the life of the party I'm the life of the party.

Steven was in his element, to the surprise of anyone.

He drank like someone who had a beer every day of his life, even though you'd swear you'd never seen him enjoy one. He chatted, controlled the music, and even got you to dance a couple of times on the improvised dance floor, which was just a few sofas pushed to the side.

The thing is, Steven didn't have many friends.

When you started dating, things changed. He began to come out of his shell, and it turns out your friends welcomed him as if they'd known him all their lives. Meanwhile, you were delighted that he felt like part of the group.

With much of his adolescence blocked from his mind, you could almost consider this the first party he'd ever been to where he felt truly comfortable.

It was fun… for the first three hours.

You were so used to spending your days at home that maybe you hadn't had the chance to let Steven know that sometimes it could all be… too much.

When you found yourself tilting your head against your shoulder to try to muffle the music's noise, you realized that it might be time for a break. You didn't want to ruin your boyfriend's fun, so you simply stood up and headed to the bathroom.

Your heart had been racing for a few minutes, and you tried to convince yourself that you had it under control. The closed door gave you a few seconds of peace when you noticed that it at least quieted down the noise a bit.

It wasn't enough, though.

You covered your ears with your hands, your eyes closed as your body's weight rested against the sink. You didn't want to cry, but your body always got ahead of you.

After a few minutes, you decided that standing wasn't helping, and you allowed yourself to take a break. You pushed the curtain aside, and your body found a spot in the dry bathtub.

The cold was pleasant.

You stayed like that for a good few minutes; you lost count of how many. But you supposed it had been longer than expected when the bathroom door opened.

Steven, now without a beer in hand, had a concerned expression.

"Love?" You looked up, your cheeks warming with embarrassment about your situation, but you couldn't do much more than talk to him, especially when your heart rate was just beginning to calm down.

"The door."

"Of course, sorry." He closed it behind him immediately. "What are you doing in there?"

You still covered your ears with your hands but listened to his voice rising slightly to overcome the music. You shrugged.

You didn't want to talk. In fact, you didn't want him there, though the irritation was just an extra effect.

He didn't press the issue, but he did speak again.

"Can I join you?"

You nodded slowly, and he did his best to fit into the tub with you, his legs bent like yours to avoid hitting the edge.

You remained silent and closed your eyes, your head resting against the wall as you took deep breaths.

There wasn't much to do if you'd already managed to ruin Steven's fun.

"It's too much," you muttered without opening your eyes, trying to give an explanation.

Somehow, he understood, and although you couldn't see it, he nodded.

After a few minutes, you could lean your head against his shoulder, and you could swear you felt his body relax as soon as you touched him. No matter how many times you begged him not to, you knew that Steven cared, always.

"Can I?" He extended his arm but didn't place it over your shoulders until you nodded.

He gave you a comforting squeeze against his body.

He felt your breathing gradually level out.

"I got worried when I didn't see you out there."

"You always worry." You made him chuckle a little as he nodded, agreeing with you. "I'm okay, Steven."

You didn't stop him from kissing your temple. The scent of his perfume was pleasant, soft, nothing like the smell of beer and fries outside.

"I'm sorry for leaving you alone out there."

"You didn't." It wasn't his fault, nor yours. Just things that happened. "I'm sorry for ruining the party."

"You didn't." He mimicked you, probably also thinking that this wasn't your fault. "I miss Gus." He joked with a small smile.

And you smiled back.

The bathroom felt more spacious now that you couldn't hear the thumping of your heart in your ears.

"Can we go home?"

"Sure." He slowly got to his feet, always the first to offer you a firm hand to help you up.

And you took it for support, as you always did.

Mk's tag list :)@ninebluehearts @icreatedthisat317am @onefinnedwonder-fm @shousha133

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saralovesyouu · 1 year

Text

“Come back to me, I’ll wait for you.”

Devastated and exhausted, you were still mourning losing Mitsuba a second time. You refused to get out of bed, and only did when Teru asked you to because your grades were a mess. Kou decided to show you the photos Mitsuba had took before. The incident. You tried spending most of your time with Yokoo and Satou, who didn’t really know why you were upset but still tried to comfort you. After the you did your part of helping them get rid of the hands, you thought you were done with supernaturals for the day. But when Kou dragged you off saying Yashiro had gone missing, and you needed to enter some boundary and he wanted you there. You kind of had to tag along. But unexpectedly, you find someone there.

Warnings: Cursing, reader feeling like shit (‘m sorry about that), comforting from Yokoo and Satou, Kou also sorta feeling like shit, your aunt trying to help you out of bed but still keep you safe, some angst again, etc,.

(A/N) : Last chapter of Act I!! Hope you enjoy it. I’ve been feeling like absolute shit these past few days so writing this to distract myself has made me feel so much better. I’m pretty sure this is proofread but if there’s anything wrong with it lmk!!

Prev. << Next end of Act I

You couldn’t bring yourself to get out of bed, not for anything. Not even after the countless times Yokoo and Satou begged you to come, not after Yashiro came over to try and get you up, not even after your aunt talked to you about it.

You just couldn’t.

You’d spent more nights crying than you could ever count, and kept thinking back to that moment. The squelching noise, that scream. It all haunted you like there was no tomorrow.

Your aunt had to bring you in food, and make sure you actually ate it. She sat with you while you cried about it, and she hugged you through it. She even called in sick from work to stay at home just for a day to comfort you.

“Shhh.. hey it’s okay.” She tried to reassure for the nth time this day.

You didn’t seem to be getting better.

“It’s not okay! There should’ve been something I could’ve done! Something I didn’t do.” You cried into your pillow, eyes red and puffy from all your tears.

She pursed her lips, not knowing what to do to comfort you. Nothing seemed to help. All she could do was make sure you ate and drink a little water. And of course make sure you didn’t do anything stupid, she was still a bit paranoid from what happened.

Out of no where, there was a knock on the door.

“Ah.. I’ll go get it.” She said, giving you one last pitiful glance before heading downstairs.

“Hey is (Y/N) here?” You heard someone say.

“Yeah she’s upstairs in her room.” Your aunt replied.

“Okay thank you.” They answered.

You heard footsteps, and groaned.

“Look Yokoo, I already said I don’t want to get up—“

“It’s not Yokoo.” Teru chuckled.

He walked over to your bed and sat with you.

“You doing okay? You and Kou both seem really out of it.” He asked, moving his hand to rub soothing circles in your back.

“No.” Was all you could answer, knowing how he felt about spirits you knew you probably shouldn’t tell him why.

“Listen, you need to come back to school. Your grades are plummeting so bad right now, and your friends miss you a lot.” Teru explained, making you lightly chuckle.

“Great, thanks so much for adding more stress! I thought it was impossible but somehow you did.” You answered sarcastically with a sigh.

He only playfully rolled his eyes, “Look, if it helps anything—I’ll help you with your missing work.”

“Just please come back to school? We all miss you a lot. And I think both you and Kou could use some support.” He pleaded, his pretty blue eyes sparkled with determination to get you out of bed.

You groaned, falling back onto your bed.

“I don’t know..” you mumbled.

“I won’t try to exorcise Hanako for..” he paused “a few days.”

You snorted, shaking your head with a fond smile.

“Deal.”

He smiled.

“Okay. It’s only 9:20, so you still have time to get to school. Even if it’s late, don’t worry I’ll excuse you.” He assured, “so get ready and I’ll walk you to school.”

You sighed as you got out of bed, and he went to wait downstairs for you.

You got dressed, and went into the bathroom to wash your face and do the rest of your skincare routine so you didn’t look like you’d been crying so much, and after you were satisfied that you didn’t look like a total mess as bad, you walked downstairs to find Teru.

He was sitting on the couch, just scrolling around on his phone. You went to go out on your shoes, and swung your backpack over your shoulder. He turned his phone off and stood up.

“You ready?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

Teru walked you into the middle school divison, and quickly took you with him to the student council room.

“Hang on, wait one second let me just do something real quick.” He hummed, unlocking his computer and opened what seemed to be an attendance sheet and marked your name off as ‘excused tardy’.

“Okay, ‘m gonna go drop you off at class and tell the teacher that you were late cause of my fault.” He explained, already leading you towards your second period class.

He opened the door for you and allowed you in, and went to go whisper something to the teacher. Yokoo looked at you excitedly, and Satou smiled upon seeing you. You didn’t see Kou in his seat, so you assumed he was out with Hanako and Yashiro.

“What made you feel like getting up out of bed?” Yokoo asked curiously.

“Are you hungry? I have some sweets with me.” Satou asked, digging around in his backpack to look for said sweets.

“Teru dragged me out of bed.” You exaggerated with a sigh, leaning against Yokoo dramatically.

Satou just shook his head with a smile, and Yokoo played along pretending to catch you.

“Well did you sleep good at least?” Yokoo asked.

You paused for a moment.

“..Definitely.”

“Liar.” Satou sighed “Here, have some.” He said, offering you some of his sweets.

You took a few, thanking Satou.

“You seemed pretty down enough to not come to school for a few days.. you hadn’t been that down since Mitsuba—“ Yokoo stopped himself.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” He winced apologetically, realizing what he just brought up.

You pursed your lips, but you couldn’t get mad at Yokoo. You knew he and Satou were only worried and meant no harm.

“It’s fine, but can someone catch me up on what we’re learning? I’m a little lost.” You chuckled nervously, trying lighten up the mood—trying to forget about Mitsuba.

“Yeah, no problem!” Yokoo chirped.

Yokoo and Satou explained the lesson for you, letting you copy down their notes so you wouldn’t fall too behind. You groaned as you leaned back in your seat, already hating how much you missed in your absence.

“Where’s Kou by the way?” You asked, sitting back up after a few more moments.

“Oh him? All he said is he’d be busy, I don’t think he’s been in class at all.” Satou hummed.

“You should probably go see him, he didn’t look too good.” Yokoo suggested, kicking his feet lightly.

“I will after class.”

The bell had long since rung, and kids rushed out to their next class. Yokoo and Satou had said their goodbyes and told you they’d see you at lunch, so you were trying to get your stuff altogether.

“Don’t think of running off with those cockroaches.” Teru sighed as he waited by the door for you.

You jumped a bit, not really expecting him to wait for you after class.

“They aren’t cockroaches..” you mumbled, slinging your backpack over your shoulder and he gave you a look that said ‘are you sure about that?’.

You sighed, “Okay, maybe some are. But they aren’t all.” you tried to explain.

You paused, biting your lip a bit “But I’m not gonna do anything having to do with the supernatural anytime soon, so I won’t run off.”

Teru gave you a satisfied smile.

“Why are you even here? Are you going to make sure I don’t skip off to Hanako and the others or?” You trailed off.

“No,” Teru denied “I was actually here to pick you up.”

“I talked to the teachers and let them know you’d be with me for the rest of the day,” he hummed.

“Working on your missing assignments.”

You groaned as you made your way towards the door, looking at Teru with pleading eyes as if it would convince him to just let you go with the others. He smiled and shook his head fondly, leading you towards the student council room.

“Oh and by the way,” he said opening the door for you “I let Kou know you’re here so I’m sure he’ll stop by soon.”

“Soon like now?” Kou asked as he entered the student council room.

“I thought you’d stop by later but yeah, soon.” Teru confirmed with a hum.

“Can I borrow (Y/N)?” Kou asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“For what?” Teru asked.

“Something.” Was all Kou managed to mutter.

“No, sorry. After she finishes at least half of this work,” Teru emphasized, referring to the small stack of packets and papers that you thought to be your missing assignments “then you can take her for a bit.”

You groaned, flopping down on the seat in front of Teri’s desk.

“So mean.” Kou mumbled with a pout, walking out.

“So,” Teru cleared his throat, dropping a small stack of papers in front of you “let’s get started.”

You pouted with a whine, letting your head fall forward and hitting the desk in frustration.

The bell had rung a fourth time since you’ve gotten there, and it was now time for lunch.

“Well, your a little bit close to halfway done.” Teru mumbled holding up a pinch of the paperwork, holding it up to examine it.

Kou burst through the door, swinging it open.

“It’s lunch time now, and I’m pretty sure (Y/N)’s hungry.” Kou said, trying to indirectly hint if it was okay to borrow you now.

“Go ahead but be back right after.” Teru instructed, and you just pouted with a nod.

“Great,” Kou mumbled, grabbing hold of your wrist “will definitely—“ he sprinted out with you “not.”

Kou laughed a bit, but when he noticed you didn’t seem to even smile his expression dropped.

He came to a stop, at the staircase leading up to the roof, sitting down on a bench nearby.

“You doing okay?” Kou asked.

“Not really.” You muttered, sitting by him.

“Well I have something to show you.” Kou smiled, bringing something from his backpack’s front pocket.

He took it out gingerly, as if it was the most fragilest of glass and would break with even the slightest wrong look.

They were Mitsuba’s developed pictures.

“I had them printed out as soon as I could..” he whispered, though he didn’t know why if it was just the two of you “I already looked at them last night, but—“ his voice cracked a bit as he chuckled lightly “I thought you might want to see them too.”

He carefully handed the small stack of photos to you, and you—just as carefully—took them.

There were many pictures.

Some were meant to be funny, and others were genuinely beautiful.

Like when Kou got attacked by the mother cat when he tried grabbing one of it’s kitten’s. Or when Mitsuba took that photo of Kou while he was standing on his shoulders.

There were also some like the birds nest, and of some he took while in the school garden. But the one that made you tear up—

Was the one he took of you and Kou.

You grit your teeth in frustration, in anger—thinking back to that moment.

“I’ll make that asshole pay one way or another.” You say through a choked out sob.

Kou looked at you with a solemn face, pursing his lips before placing a comforting hand on your shoulder “And I’ll be there to help you when you do.”

You looked at him, and he looked at you. And for the first time since you both had met, you didn’t laugh at the eye contact. Instead, your eyes welled up with regretful tears, tears of grievance at its finest.

“Oh, there you two are!” Yokoo exclaimed gleefully, practically skipping towards you both as Satou trailed behind him.

“What’re you two weirdo’s doing?” Satou joked, sitting beside you as Yokoo sat on the other side of Kou.

Yokoo shot him a glare after realizing you and Kou were on the verge of tears, and Satou immediately took the hint that now wasn’t the time for that.

“Wanna tell us what’s going on?” Satou finally said after a few moments of silence.

Yokoo pursed his lips when he got no answer from either of you, so he spoke up too.

“Look, whatever you both are going through. You can tell us, you know that right?” Yokoo asked, but continued after still the both of you didn’t answer “Just know we’re here for you. Whatever you guys are going through, we’ll get through it altogether.” he looked over at Satou “Right, Satou?”

“Yeah of course. We’re all friends, and as friends we have to look out for each other.” Satou agreed with a hum.

There was a few more seconds of silence before anyone spoke again.

“You ever know that feeling…” you finally managed to croak out after a while longer “when you thought you finally found something you lost a long while ago, someon—“ you stopped yourself before continuing “something very special to you, and then for someone to just. Snatch it out of your hands?”

Kou lightly chuckled, but it came out sadder than he intended “And when you actually got to see another side of a person you just met, and got to know them better—only for them to disappear the next second?”

Satou and Yokoo exchanged glances, as if they were trying to communicate with each other to see what you guys meant by that. But they found themselves empty minded.

“I don’t necessarily understand,” Yokoo started, already hugging Kou to provide some sort of comfort “but I know whatever it is. It’s really tough for you to be feeling like this.”

“Yeah,” Satou confirmed, hugging you too, connecting with Yokoo to form a group hug “we’re your friends. And as your friends we wanna tell you that you don’t have to go through this alone.”

And just then, you broke down in tears, babbling about how you lost someone so special to you a second time and this time you’ll never get them back. Kou followed soon after, except he just silently cried.

“Shhh.. there, there.” Yokoo whispered “Let it all out.”

The two boys hugged you both as you cried, comforting you in silence.

“God you guys are the best.” You hiccuped with a small chuckle that came out more as a sob.

Satou smiled, and Yokoo just replied “We know.”

After a while longer, the bell rang again. You, Satou, Kou, and Yokoo had been talking, the two mostly trying to distract you guys from crying—trying to get a smile out of you.

From around the corner, Teru came and you groaned.

“C’mon, it’s time to get back to your missing work.” Teru hummed, leaning against the wall as he waited for you to get up.

You pouted, but got up and said your goodbyes.

“You didn’t actually eat,” Teru began as you started walking back to the student council room “did you?”

And as if on cue, your stomach rumbled, and you flushed out of embarrassment. Teru sighed, turning in a different direction.

“Let’s get you something to eat.. I think I might have a spare lunch in the office.” Teru explained.

And he did, luckily for you. After taking one bite, you almost immediately recognized it as Kou’s cooking—and practically gobbled up the rest of it.

“Woah, slow down your going to end up choking.” Teru laughed.

“But it’s Kou’s cooking!” You pouted, taking another bite “You could never.”

“Okay that was ONE time.” Teru groaned, remembering how he nearly burnt down their kitchen.

“Yeah, that ‘ONE’ time was a near death experience for me.” You sighed dramatically, making Teru smile.

“It’s good to see your somewhat better now.” He hummed.

“What do you mean?” You asked, taking one last bite of the delicious lunch Kou prepared.

“I mean, your not as gloomy right now as you were earlier.” He smiled, ruffling your hair.

You swatted his hands away from your hair, “Must’ve been the magic of Kou’s cooking.”

“Must’ve.” Teru agreed, “Now that I know you won’t be complaining about an empty stomach,” he dropped the rest of your missing assignments in front of you “we can finish this.”

“So mean to me.”

For the next few days you tried to get over it. But I mean, you couldn’t, really. If you thought losing someone the first time was hard, imagine losing them a second time. Yokoo and Satou tried to help too, they kept you busy, and Yokoo even found out some way to let you in his soccer practice to ‘blow off some steam’ as he put it.

“God, I don’t understand how you’re able to do this for what?” You asked, taking a sip from the water bottle Yokoo had given you, to which he replied “About an hour and a half.”

“I can’t even last ten minutes.” You chuckled lightly.

“But you’re distracted, right?” He asked, gently nudging you with his shoulder.

You smiled, “I am actually.”

He smiled right back, “Then that’s all that matters.”

“Now c’mon, let’s go back to practice—“ Yokoo got up and beckoned you towards him, when Kou came along “Sorry Yokoo but I REALLY need to borrow. (Y/N) for a bit.”

“Okay, see you later then (Y/N).” Yokoo exclaimed as he ran back to the rest of his teammates.

“See ya!” You shouted after him.

“What is it?” You asked, turning around to Kou.

“There’s a bunch of hands, just popping around everywhere.” Kou explained “Hanako suggested we play with them so they’ll go away, so far it’s worked.”

“What is that have to do with me?” You sighed.

Kou gave you a playfully glare, rolling his eyes fondly.

“We could use the extra hands.” He hummed, making you chuckle a bit.

“Don’t you already have a lot?” You joked. “Need more hands to get rid of the extra hands.” You snorted.

“Well will you help?” Kou asked, he paused before adding “I know you’re trying to take a break from anything supernatural right now but we could use the help.”

You thought about it for a second, but gave in when you saw the pleading look in his eyes.

“Fine.” You sighed, making Kou cheer.

“That should be the last of them!” Hanako exclaimed, jumping around in the air excitedly.

“Whew.” You say, slumping against one of the bathroom stall doors.

Out of no where, a hand appeared from the bathroom mirror, and Yashiro approached it.

“Just one left!” Yashiro informed, looking back at it.

“That actually wore me out..” Hanako whined, making you chuckle “one of those guys hit me.”

You ‘coughed’, “Sounds like a major skill issue.” which earned you a playful glare from Hanako.

“Most of the pictures are all cleaned up too.” Kou confirmed, flipping through the yearbook.

“Wait..” Kou paused “now that I look at it.. you’re wearing a different uniform in this picture.”

“That’s from last year!” Yashiro chirped, looking over Kou’s shoulder to see better “When I was in middle school.”

“Cool!” Kou exclaimed.

“But wow,” he then continued “these are really good pictures.”

“Yeah! We had a kid from the photography club take them,” Yashiro hummed “I’m pretty sure his name should be on the last page.”

You and Kou gave each other a hesitant look, and you walked over to check too. And there it was.

Mitsuba Sousuke.

Out of no where, the hand from the mirror grabbed Yashiro’s wrist, and she hummed “What is it?”

“Have you decided what you want to pl—“ the hand cut her off, a mouth morphed onto its figure.

“Come to this side.”

It began to drag her inside the mirror.

“Yashiro!” Both Hanako and Kou panicked.

“Hanako!” Yashiro managed to yelp out.

Said ghost boy quickly got up “Grab my—“ but it was too late, his fingers just barely skimmed hers as she was sucked into the mirror like some type of portal.

“She’s…” Kou paused.

“gone.” I mumbled, and as if on cue—a droplet of water fell from the sink faucet.

Panicked, Kou got up and shouted “I’m coming Yashiro!” As he tried to force himself through the mirror.

“Kid! Stop it kid! Bad kid!” Hanako yelled, grabbing Kou from under his arms to pull him away from the mirror, making you giggle a bit at the way Hanako was referring to Kou as ‘kid’ “Don’t break the mirror!”

“That’s a boundary..” Hanako began to explain “specifically number 3’s”

“School mystery number three?” Kou asked.

“Yes.” Hanako muttered in agreement.

“I mean there’s a really only one supernatural mirror leading to this place—“ Hanako got interrupted.

“The hell of mirrors, right?” You asked “I don’t know how I know that but I do.”

“Yeah, so it has to be this one.” Hanako informed before sighing “I would like to go with her immediately but..” he paused.

“To put it simply, when you go into number 3’s boundary it attacks you.. with things you don’t want to see. Things you’re afraid of.” He looked at you both before continuing “In other words, the strength of the boundary changes based on who’s inside. If I’m not careful, I could make it stronger just by going I’m there.”

But you and Kou weren’t really paying attention, you were both looking at the yearbook Mitsuba had taken pictures for.

“Hey have you two been listening to me at all?” Hanako whined, grabbing onto your shoulders.

In a panic, Kou shut the book at faced him “You were telling us about how filthy your mind is sir!”

That alone made you burst into laughter as Hanako stared in disbelief, then muttered “Yeah well.. I won’t deny that.”

“We have to figure out what to do and fast.” Kou sighed, you felt bad seeing him look so worried for Yashiro’s safety.

“Yeah.” Hanako mumbled.

“Because number 3’s approach is most likely going to depend on what Yashiro is afraid of.” You mumbled, earning a shocked glance from Hanako which turned into a smirk.

“Hey you’re a quick learner aren’t you?” He teased “You caught on faster than Mr. Exorcist here.”

“I know you said you didn’t want anything to do with the supernatural or ghosts for a while, but I think Mr. Tsuchigomori might know something.” Hanako rambled.

“So can you please help?” They asked.

“Please?” Kou begged “For your favorite exorcist.”

“And your favorite apparition.” Hanako added with a sly grin.

“Who said you two were my favorites?” You asked sarcastically, but still smiled.

“Alright fine, but if he doesn’t know something I won’t be helping out.” You finally gave in.

Hanako and Kou both cheered, jumping around like children anxious to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.

Yashiro’s yelp seemed to echo aimlessly around the dimly lit room, hands began to sprout from the floor. She winced as she was met with something, something wet.

“Water!” She panicked, scrambling to her feet.

Little scale-like pieces began to emerge on her soft skin as she went on to see where she was at, or more so who’s boundary she was in.

Thump, thump, thump.

Footsteps? She thought, swiftly turning her head in panic that something dangerous might’ve been lingering in the dark.

“Hello?” she called, trying to see what she could in the dark room.

She saw a figure, one she thought was feminine, but upon closer examination she found it was a boy. More so, a middle school boy. His eyes looked a bit sunken, as the hands surrounded him. He tilted his head up, to look at her.

“Who are you?” She asked, tilting her head as well to get a better view of him.

Yashiro had a million questions running through her head, who was this boy? Was he a ghost? What’s he doing here? She was dragged out of her trance when said boy was towering over her.

Now that he was closer, Yashiro realized how he looked and a blush covered her face. His rosy eyes startled silently at her, before speaking up.

“You..” he called.

“Yes?” Yashiro panicked, standing up straight.

The boy looked left, then right, before sighing. His once innocent look was replaced with a taunting smirk.

“..have pretty fat ankles, huh?”

Yashiro froze in place, a bit dumbfounded that someone so adorable would say something so vulgar.

The boy sighed, crossing his arms.

“Aww, I thought someone was finally here to help me, but it’s just some horseradish..”

“I-I’m not a horseradish!” Yashiro retorted defensively with a pout.

“Yeah yeah whatever.” Mitsuba sighed.

Yashiro kept asking questions, and Mitsuba didn’t have any intention to answer much or any of them, so he walked to the door at the end of the corridor and opened it.

He then walked over to Yashiro and grabbed her by the little accessories on her belt. “This way.” He said.

“This is one of the boundary’s of the seven mysteries..” he explained after a while “the hell of mirrors.”

“Or..” he paused, stopping in his tracks to look at Yashiro with an unsure look “I guess that’s it’s name.”

“But that’s all I know.”

Yashiro looked around in amazement, everywhere she turned there were mirrors of different shapes, sizes, colors, and designs. But there was one thing they all had in common.

They all had an eerie feeling to it, it sent shivers down Yashiro’s spine.

“There’re mirrors.. everywhere.” She mumbled in awe.

“Yeah, I can see that Ms. Obvious.” Mitsuba sighed, playfully rolling his eyes.

But Yashiro wasn’t paying enough attention to care, she was too busy thinking.

“I’m Mitsuba.”

Yashiro made a small ‘huh?’ noise before turning to look at him.

“I’m stuck here and I have no idea to get out of this mess.” He complained, slumping down against the railings.

“Mitsuba? You’re..” she paused, eyeing him curiously “from the middle school division, right?”

“Are you a ghost? And..” she paused to look at him “have we met somewhere?”

“I..” he paused, swallowing the lump in his throat “don’t know.”

“Who cares? None of that matters now anyways.” He sighed, his rosy eyes flinched a bit, as if maybe trying to hold back tears.

“I guess we’ll have to get out of this place first! But..” she paused “why did you bring me here?”

Mitsuba didn’t say anything for a moment or two, clearing his throat and pointing at the hands still sprouting from the floor.

“Well I wanted someone who could help me,” he explained “so I asked them to find someone for me.”

The hands excitedly exclaimed a small “yeah!” popping around enthusiastically.

“Are they friends of yours, Mitsuba?” Yashiro asked sweetly, bending down to shake their hands.

Mitsuba scoffed with an offended expression.

“Are you suggesting I’m friends with my right hand??” He shouted “Would you please not be so vulgar!”

“I didn’t say they were right hands..” Yashiro mumbled, looking over at a few left hands.

“Besides..” Mitsuba sighed “the only friend I can remember, is..”

He looked at Yashiro and then away.

“Wait why am I telling you this?” Mitsuba scoffed.

“Who is it?” Yashiro asked.

“What do you mean?” Mitsuba replied, tilting his head a bit to show his confusion.

“Your friend,” she insisted “the one you could remember?”

“It’s..” he looked hesitant to tell her, but then thought she might know where to find her, so she gave in.

“Her name’s (Y/N)..” he whispered, Yashiro just managed to hear.

“(Y/N)?” Yashiro repeated.

“Yeah.. it’s kind of a weird story. I don’t know why she’s the only one I remember. I just remember waking up, no memory of anything or anyone.”

“Just her.”

Yashiro gave him a pitiful look, and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Well,” she began “first let’s get out of here. And then, I think I might have an idea of where she might be.” she said with a smile.

“Really?” He asked excitedly, shooting up from his slouching position.

“Of course.” Yashiro confirmed.

“Well then..” he mumbled, looking up at Yashiro, leaning his head down on his arms and batting his pretty eyelashes at her “will you help me out of here?”

Yashiro felt a pang in her heart, to her, Mitsuba looked like an innocent puppy. And when he saw that look of awe in her eyes, he knew his charm worked.

“I can’t make any promises,” she cleared her throat “but this isn’t my first time in a place like this. So I’m sure we can find our way out somehow.”

“God..” he smiled softly “thank you, Yashiro.”

Yashiro put her hand over her chest, her eyes tearing up dramatically as she gushed over him.

“What is it?” Mitsuba asked innocently.

“O-Oh..” Yashiro stuttered “it’s nothing!”

She turned her head away with a smile, and each time she wasn’t looking, Mitsuba made a face to mock her.

They continued to walk aimlessly around the boundary, looking at all the mirrors as they passed by.

“Mitsuba,” Yashiro spoke up after a while, uncomfortable with the silence “this is your first time in a boundary, right?” she then gave him a proud smile “Not to brag or anything, but this is my fourth time in one!”

“It is my first time..” Mitsuba admited “but—“

“Then as your upper-classman, or- err.. woman? I’ll teach you all about boundaries!” She exclaimed excitedly, grabbing his sleeve-covered hand with her own.

———

After a while of Yashiro explaining the basic understanding of a boundary as they further explored the place, Mitsuba nodded and ‘okay’ed’ everything she said.

“Woah.” He mumbled in astonishment at the new information he was given.

Before Yashiro could make a proud remark, he snickered “You seem to know an awful lot about this for a living person.”

“Scary..” he said, backing away in ‘fear’ playfully.

The three of you made your way to the library where Mr. Tsuchigomori usually would be. Not giving him a chance to ask why you all are there, you begin to all try to explain at once.

“Wait, back up a few steps. One at a time.” He sighs, almost like a father telling his children to wait their turn to talk.

Before either you or Hanako get the chance to speak first, Kou beats you both to it—and explains the whole situation.

“Why are you even bothering me with this..?” Mr. Tsuchigomori groaned, rubbing his forehead as if it will soothe the annoying headache the three of you were to him.

“Because!” Hanako wailed “It’s been two hours since they took Yashiro! And I can’t get into number 3’s boundary!”

“Yeah!” You sighed with a pout, very much worried for your friend.

“The kids and I even tried begging on our hands and knees for number 3 to let us in! But it didn’t work!” Hanako cried, dramatically flapping his arms all over the place.

You smacked the back of his head “Stop that, we didn’t even go that far.” you groaned.

“But still! We would’ve if it meant number 3 would let us in!” Hanako wailed yet again, clinging to your sleeve.

“Please spider-face!” Kou finally exclaimed after seeing a moment from where he could talk.

The sudden name made you snort, clasping a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from bursting into laughter. Kou smiled, seeing as this had been the first time you’d smiled since the incident with Mistuba.

“It’s Mr...” Hanako corrected.

“Whatever! Mr. Spider Face!” Kou yet again exclaimed, clasping his hands together as if to beg, making you finally let your strained laughter flow from your lips.

“Yes! Please help us Mr. Spider Face!” You snickered, doing the same gesture as Kou, you both were now laughing maniacally at this point.

“You little..” Mr. Tsuchigomori sighed, you swore you saw his eyebrow twitching.

“I can’t let Yashiro get hurt..” Hanako spoke up, after having going silent for a while.

You and Kou both turned to him, confused by the sincerity in his voice. The Hanako you knew to be flirtatious and a pervert and sometimes even a jerk, being serious for once? It was a sight to see for sure.

“Tell me Mr. Tsuchigomori..” he uttered, finally looking up after staring at the seemingly more interesting floor for so long “won’t you help us?”

Even the disguised supernatural looked shocked to see the ghost so genuine, so with a sigh, he got up.

“Well, I do have an idea.” He hummed, walking over to a specific bookshelf.

He moved a couple of books to reveal Yako snoozing on the bookshelf. Effortlessly, he grabbed her, and tossed her over to Hanako—who luckily caught her. You, Kou, and Hanako looked down at the Nogitsune in Hanako’s arms.

“Number 2?” Hanako asked “Why?”

“Hear me out.” Mr. Tsuchigomori sighed, sitting back down at his desk “The seven mysteries boundaries each serve to oversee a certain aspect of the school.”

“My ‘book stacks’ manage records, the clock keepers manage ‘time’, and number 2 manages ‘space.” He explained “If you go through her boundary you can get pretty much anywhere in the school.”

“That includes number 3’s boundary?” You asked, looking down at Yako.

“Pretty much.” Mr. Tsuchigomori sighed.

“But I thought Yashiro busted up her boundary?” Kou asked.

“Oh Kou.. poor, sweet, dumb little Kou.” You snickered, making said boy glare at you, more like aggressively side-eyeing you.

Mr. Tsuchigomori shook his head with a fond smile, before continuing “Oh that.. all she really did was take her right to manage it. The boundary itself is still existing. But with its overseer gone.. it’s probably a mess.”

“Isn’t that right echinococcus?” He snickered, making the latter snap up with a growl.

“Shut up emo spider!” Yako retorted, making you snicker.

“Emo spider..” you snorted in an almost whisper.

“And why should I even help you! I could care less what happens to your assistant!” Yako crossed her arms, turning her head with a ‘hmph!’.

“Beecause we’re your favorites?” You asked hopefully, but she didn’t seem to budge.

“Kitsune udon.” Hanako spoke, holding up his butcher knife as if to threaten her.

“Huh?” Yako gasped offendedly “I- It’s not even my problem!”

“Udon.”

“Fine..” Yako finally huffed, knowing Hanako wouldn’t go through with it—but still wanted to help him out.

“Let’s see…” Yako hummed, walking towards the bottom of the stairs.

“This is it right?” Kou asked.

“You’re kidding right?” You asked in disbelief, giving Kou a ‘are you stupid?’ look.

“Hey I was just making sure!” Kou whined, elbowing you in the side, which resulted in you two giggling and playfully shoving each other.

“Here we go!” Yako sung, breaking your guys’s laughter “One,” one at a time you were taking steps up the stairs “two,” and another “three..”

“Four.”

The Misaki Stairs were nothing new to you, you had come here with the trio before in search for Yashiro’s friend, Aoi. And hearing that it had been all out of whack since Yashiro destroyed it’s yoshiro, you weren’t surprised to look out into the distance and for the large empty void to be staring right back at you.

Though it was filled with pretty flowers to the brim, and sunny skies something still felt off. Like something was out of place.

“It’s..” Hanako marveled, staring out in disbelief.

“Woah!” Kou grinned, looking around like a child trying to pick which ride to go on first at an amusement park “It’s so pretty now!”

“Yeah..” you murmured, not being able to shake off the eerie feeling it gave you, but seeing as the other two seemed at ease—you tried your best to forget about it.

“I’ll show you to number 3’s boundary,” Yako hummed, now in human form “just keep up.”

The “click-clack” and “tut-tut” of your shoes against the stairs as you climbed was the only thing to fill the silence. You looked down from the stairs, only to be met with a void. It was empty. So empty it made you shiver, so you moved your focus elsewhere. Perhaps towards the flowers at the bottom of the stairs…

“Hey fox lady?” Kou finally spoke up, breaking the deafening silence.

“What do you want stupid brat?” Yako spat, not turning back to even glance at him as he spoke.

“You know how before your rumor changed and you went totally crazy?” Kou asked, making you widen your eyes at the insensitive comment and elbow his side, making him glare at you as he winced “and you attacked me and the other students.”

“You like bringing up unpleasant memories, don’t you?” Yako scoffed, but you didn’t miss the way she winced at the mention of the things she had done before “What’s your point?”

“Oh it’s just.. I was wondering what that felt like.” Kou mumbled, now feeling unsure if it was okay to ask, though he felt the need to.

“What? Why would you wanna know that?! Talk about poor taste!” Yako yapped, turning to glare at Kou “I knew Misaki was the only human worth answering! The rest are lower than insects!”

Feeling a bit of pity, and knowing how curious he must have been cause you were too you placed a gentle hand on Kou’s shoulder and spoke. “Hey, give him a break. I understand what he said might have been a tad insensitive but..” you paused, looking down at the ground “recently, we had a friend of ours go a bit berserk after his rumor changed. And we- I mean Kou’s just curious if when your rumor changed, was it still you?”

“They’re kinda like you, huh number 2?” Hanako chuckled, but Yako kept her back to you three.

“Well..” Yako finally murmured as you all continued up the steps “it didn’t feel good, at least when I look back at it now. But..” she paused, and she looked unsure if she should continue, but when she looked at you two who were listening so intently, she couldn’t help but continue “It was definitely me. It was just a side of me that I kept bottled up, and it was forced out of me. That’s all.”

“Okay..” Kou mumbled, clearly unsure. You didn’t miss how his eyes shifted back down to the yearbook in his hands, and you patted his shoulder, as if to tell him I know how you feel.

“So if you tried to say something to your friend, even if he didn’t understand it, it still probably reached him.” That alone gave Kou hope, maybe. Just maybe, that last encounter with Mitsuba, he was able to talk to him.

“It doesn’t matter how warped he is.” Yako continued, seeing how he seemed a bit confused “or even if he changed form or shape.”

“That boy.. is still that boy.”

Just as you were about to ask a question of your own, Yako and Hanako—who were walking in front of you, stopped walking. “We’re here.” Yako announced.

“I assume our chat is over?” She hummed in more of a question, but then added “We’ve arrived, number 3’s boundary is straight through here.”

“Is that a mirror?” Kou asked, poking the frame.

“I don’t know.. looks kind of eerie to me. Hanako mumbled, floating above it as he exclaimed it closely.

“Yeah.. I mean..” you murmured, running your finger along the glass when you felt a force pulling you in.

You let out a surprised yelp as you were engulfed by the mirror’s glass, leaving the three in disbelief.

“Just so you know.. I’m not going further than here.”

You landed in some unknown place with a “oomph”, the place was filled with mirrors. You heard a loud yelp in what you could have only recognized as Yashiro’s voice.

“Oh right, your supposed to be nice to girls.”

You turned with teary eyes from the bright light that filled the room to find the voice, and you felt yourself freeze when you realized it was Tsukasa.

The ghost, no. The vicious supernatural who tore Mitsuba from you.

You watched as Yashiro fell to ground in deep slumber, she looked awfully peaceful given the circumstances and situation they were in. When Tsukasa got up, your eyes wandered to where Mitsuba was at.

“Now, time for you to eat up Mitsu!” Tsukasa chirped, his voice was sickeningly sweet but it made shivers run down your spine, as he held what looked like to be a heart in his hands.

“No, NO! PLEASE, NO!” Mitsuba cried, trying to back away from the entity.

Mitsuba’s eyes widened in shock when he noticed you were there, and you didn’t miss that hopeful glint in his eyes when you made eye contact, hopeful that you would save him.

“(Y/N)!” He cried, trying to get Tsukasa’s bloodied hands off of him, tears streaming down his soft skin “PLEASE, HELP ME!”

You don’t know what came over you, but you found yourself rushing over in attempt to strangle Tsukasa, but he threw you off of him effortlessly.

“Get—“ you coughed “GET AWAY FROM HIM!”

Tsukasa looked unfazed, his expression void of any emotion but it still made you shake with fear, not of what he would do to you, but of what he would do to Mitsuba.

“Now, eat up.” Tsukasa mumbled, his voice was low, and sounded inhumane. Distorted and horrifying. You wanted to get up, fight Tsukasa, and save Mitsuba. But this was no fairytale, so with a pounding headache—you watched as Tsukasa forcefully fed Mitsuba what you thought to be number 3’s heart, due to the entity that laid lifeless beside them with teary eyes.

You began to cry, feeling helpless. Tsukasa got up, walking towards you. You saw as Mitsuba looked distorted too, but he was still Mitsuba nonetheless.

“No-NO! PLEASE DON’T HURT HER! I’LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST PLEASE—“

A loud “WHAM” shook the room and two boys you could only recognize as Hanako and Kou came crashing down screaming like little girls. Kou was the first to get up, his eyes wandered to your shaking form, but you weren’t crying out of fear of Tsukasa—who he saw standing in-front of you—but when he followed your eyes to where they wandered, he realized why.

“..Mitsuba..?”

(A/N) : Oml, Act I is finished!! My hands are cramping from all the typing and I lost lots of sleep but that’s fine! But busy with French lessons but I still had time for this. This will be proofread and (hopefully) posted as well as the other chapters in Act I, tomorrow evening. Have a good day/evening/afternoon/night, and stay hydrated!! Eat smth too if you haven’t!

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