#I’m sorry I keep forgetting to come here and update this lol

[countdown-to-billy-the-hotdog]

7,799 days since we’ve seen Billy the Hotdog

[jade-jini]

you said thoughts on gp!reader?? pls… no one writes enough of it on here, i feel like the subbiest idols in my humble opinion get written as doms sometimes. totally get the appeal but i need a little sprinkle of dom reader for us wlw switches </3

like i feel like yunjin would ride a strap like crazy idk 😵‍💫

(Oh no you’re so real because did you see that video of her at the airport with this outfit? she was moving her hips and Omg)

I just know that woman can ride you insanely good. Whether is g!p or your strap, she’s gonna move like you can really feel it lol. Yun is so into pleasuring her partner that’s why. She’s gonna make sure to give you a show when riding you. Of course it only gets better once she’s closer to her orgasm. She goes “oh my god oh my god oh my god…” while grabbing your shoulders, fucking herself on your cock fast as you helped her, grabbing her hips and impaling her on your length like she doesn’t need to ever walk again.

Yunjin switches from sobbing to giggling, when you hit the right spot inside her, her eyes rolling to the back of her head with her mouth open. “Fuck yes, right thereee…” she says in between trembling giggles and you know your girl is losing it (in the good way).

She’s so into teasing you in public, she’d be talking about something she’s genuinely passionate about (you know how Jen gets really into the subjects) with somebody and her hand would “accidentally” go too high up your thigh, brushing your member, and you have to pretend nothing happened. Of course she compensates you, taking you somewhere private and giving you a handjob while she focus on your face with that pretty Fuckin smile of hers, loving knowing she’s the one who makes you feel this good, who knows your body this good.

Babygirl is loud by nature, I’m not saying she can’t keep quiet, but what’s the fun on that? That’s why even if you tease each other, you prefer to actually keep it inside your room and when nobody else is at the dorm. Of course your friends know when you’re gonna get it ‘cause you act a little extra excited about spending alone time with your girlfriend. Running downstairs almost tripping as you say your goodbyes to the other girls.

“Good luck on your activities today, have fun guys. We love youuu” Yunjin said hugging Manchae as everybody was on their way out.

“And call us when you’re on your way home!” You reminded them, and prayed they don’t forget that ‘cause you weren’t planning on getting caught making Yunjin moan and scream and-

“Don’t worry, we will, byeee!” Sakura said, looking at you suspiciously as she took the other girls out of the dorm.

“Come here, babygirl.” You said, pushing the tall girl against the door, kissing her and getting between her legs, feeling her giggle against your lips as she started undoing your shirt. But…

“Don’t take your clothes off yet, open the door.” You heard Chaewon said from outside, and you quickly separated, letting the girl enter the place again. “Just making sure, NO fucking on the couch.” You gasped, both of you blushing as being read so easily.

“Unnie! What makes you think we’re-“ you tried acting offended but please bro that’s your friend.

“Ah-Ah! No fucking on the couch I said!”

“Yunjin unnie is getting it, isn’t she?” Eunchae asked her older sister, while they were looking at the front, waiting for their leader to come back.

“I am not having this talk with you, kid.” Sakura said, with an unbothered face.

————

A little short I know sorry- I might update it a bit eventually! Once I’m happy with it I’ll take this little note out but for now I think this is good enough to post it lol

[chelseachilly]

THIS LOVE - chapter four | you can hear it in the silence

pairing: ben chilwell x reader

rating: T

word count: 2.2k

summary: you try to keep your distance from ben after italy, but after a terrible day, there's no one else you'd rather be with. i wonder why that is...

A/N: sorry it took longer than usual to update guys, it's been a very busy week for me! this one's a bit short as well but the next will be longer. i'm so happy the prem is back and we're getting so much good ben content though, the chelsea media team is keeping us well fed (and inspired one line of this chapter lol). title is from you are in love by taylor swift 🙈

previous chapter | view all chapters

Your plan when you got back to London seemed almost foolproof at the time.

You picked up a bunch of shifts at work, more than you would ever normally take on in one week. If you’re constantly working, then that gives you 1) an excuse not to attend any more events with Ben and 2) a good distraction from the developing feelings you’re experiencing for him.

The facts are simple.

He is your best friend in the world. He most certainly doesn’t return whatever weird feelings you’re having. Nothing is going to happen.

You’re sure it’s just a weird side-effect of this fake dating you’ve been doing, but that’s just playing pretend. 

Seeing him return to his usual ways - that perhaps he never left - of sleeping with beautiful models, firmly planted you back in the real world. 

And there’s nothing that can help you snap out of your fantasy life than a double shift in an East London emergency department. 

By the end of the week, you’re burnt out, exhausted, and you’re coming off what might be the worst shift you’ve ever had. Everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong, and it takes all your energy just to make it home on the tube and get yourself up the stairs to your flat afterward.

You don’t know whether you want to cry, scream, sleep, eat, or something else entirely when you finally make it to your couch and collapse into it. 

Some time passes - you’re not sure if it’s minutes or hours - without you moving a muscle, your face buried in a pillow as you try to forget about your nightmare day. You’re snapped out of it when there’s a knock on your door. 

You’re not expecting anyone, but you reluctantly force yourself off the couch and trudge your way over to open it. 

And there stands Ben, who you haven’t seen or really spoken to except a few texts in a week and a half. Perfect.

“Ben, what are you doing here?” 

You’re aware it’s not the most polite greeting, but you don’t really have much more than that in you. 

“Are you alright?” Ben asks as soon as he has a moment to take you in, his eyes scanning your face. “You didn’t answer my call yesterday or my texts this morning, I was worried.”

Although you missed the texts because your phone was off at work and haven’t had the energy to check your messages since, you did dodge his call. 

“I’m fine, I just had a long day at work and I-“ You pause as it dawns on you what day it is, as well as the fact that Ben is dressed a bit more smartly than usual, in black trousers and a nice leather jacket. “Oh, shit. The Nike thing. I completely forgot.”

You had agreed weeks ago to attend a big flashy party for Nike as Ben’s date tonight, but as you focused all your energy on work this week it completely slipped your mind. 

“I’m sorry, just give me a few minutes to get changed and I’ll-“

“Hey, hey,” Ben says softly, stepping into your flat and closing the door behind him. “Forget about the party, is something wrong?”

You shake your head. “I just had a rough day at work.”

Ben nods, gesturing for you to go on, and something about the sincere worry in his eyes makes it impossible for you to remain closed off from him.

“We were really understaffed, and it was just one thing after another and then I lost a patient and I just-“ 

You cut yourself off as you feel that you’re about to cry, the sheer weight of your awful day and week catching up with you, but Ben can see it in the way your lip is trembling slightly and you’re avoiding eye contact with him.

“It’s alright, come here,” he says, stepping closer and pulling you into his arms before you can insist that you don’t need to be comforted. You definitely do, and there’s no better comfort on earth than Ben’s hugs. 

He holds you close against him, letting you hide your face in his chest, and you can’t resist letting out a few sobs now that he’s opened the emotional floodgates. 

“Shh, you’re okay,” Ben says so softly that it almost makes you cry harder. “I’ve got you.”

Slowly, and never breaking contact, Ben shuffles you both backward until the back of your legs hits the couch and eases you both into a seated position. He pulls you even closer so your legs are draped over his lap and your face rests in the crook of his neck, his hands slowly rubbing your back as your sobs taper off into quiet whimpers.

You can feel everything bad and stressful about today slowly leave your body with every soothing murmur and stroke of Ben’s warm hand against your back. 

He’s like an instant cure for everything wrong with the world, and it occurs to you that a big part of your terrible mood is probably the result of not seeing him for longer than usual. 

Now that you’re back in his presence, in the strong arms that have held you when you were eight and you scraped your knee falling off a bike and when you were sixteen and a boy broke your heart for the first time, you never want to leave. 

You’re no longer crying when you finally find the strength to pull away from him and look him in the eye. 

Ben releases you but keeps his hands firmly on your arms as he examines your face with worried eyes and a creased brow. 

“Are you alright?” he asks barely above a whisper. 

You nod, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “Sorry, I guess this week was just a bit overwhelming.”

“You’ve been working a lot lately, yeah?”

“Yeah, well, have to pay the bills,” you shrug, as if that’s the only reason you’ve been drowning yourself in shifts on purpose. 

You do regret the comment slightly as Ben’s mouth opens and you know what he’s going to say before he even says it. 

“Y/N, if you ever need money, you know-“

“Ben,” you interrupt. “I don’t need money, I’m fine. It was just a stressful week, but I’ve got a few days off now.”

You’ve had this dispute before, with Ben freaking out whenever you seem overworked and insisting on covering some of your expenses. You never take him up on it, obviously. You do mostly love your job and helping people, and Ben knows that. He just worries about you. 

“Alright, fine,” Ben accepts. “Now why don’t we order some food and pick something to watch?”

You blink at him in confusion. “What? What about the Nike thing?”

Ben shrugs. “I’ll skip it. No big deal.”

“Ben-“

“Y/N, you had a shit day, you’re not going to some dumb party, and I’m not leaving you alone.”

He says it so matter-of-factly, like it’s his job to take care of you when you’re sad. Like he’s more than just your friend.

You can’t help but smile at his sincere expression, and how he’s gently rubbing your calf that’s still draped over his lap, as if you touch each other like this in private all the time. 

“I thought you said it would be a fun party?” you raise an eyebrow. “Or were you just trying to trick me into it?”

Ben laughs. “Well, it might be alright. A couple of the boys are gonna be there. But not as fun as watching a film with you.”

There it is again - that damn fluttering in your chest that is equal parts exciting and terrifying. 

Suddenly, doing anything with Ben sounds pretty good. Even a dumb party. 

“You know what, let’s go,” you say, wiping any remaining tears from your cheeks. “There’s no point in this whole fake dating thing if we don’t commit, right?”

“Are you sure?” Ben asks, frowning a bit. “We really don’t have to.”

“I’m sure. Let me go get changed.”

You get ready fairly quickly, putting on your go-to little black dress and comfiest heels, because you did just work a 12-hour day. You make your hair look presentable and apply a bit of makeup.

It’s nothing special, but the look on Ben’s face when you walk out of your bedroom says otherwise. 

The stress of your day continues to fade away to nothing as you and Ben make your way over to the party. Ben drives as they have a match Sunday so he won’t be drinking anything, and he loudly sings along to the Taylor Swift song on the radio in a clear attempt to cheer you up. It’s definitely working.

The party is a cool, lively affair at the Nike HQ. There are loads of athletes there, some that you recognize from television and some that you know through Ben. 

As you navigate the party, chatting with some Nike execs and some of Ben’s past and present teammates, Ben maintains some kind of physical touch with you. His fingers intertwined with yours as you walk in; his arm around your waist as you talk to his mates; his hand rubbing gentle circles on your lower back as you order a drink. 

You don’t know if it’s the fact that this is an event hosted by one of his biggest sponsors and he wants to play up the “man in love” thing or if he’s still trying to comfort you, but you can’t help hoping it’s the latter. 

After a while, Ben is approached by someone from Nike asking if he can do a short interview for social media. 

“Your girlfriend is welcome to join too,” the woman says nicely, flashing you a smile.

“You don’t have to,” Ben whispers in your ear, but you just shrug. 

Normally you would shy away from any press, but maybe a part of you doesn’t mind being called his girlfriend tonight.

“I’ll do it,” you say with a small smile at the interviewer. 

Ben keeps his arm protectively around your waist as the interview begins, glancing at you from time to time to make sure you’re alright.

They ask him a few questions about football before diving into the personal stuff, which you know is juicer for social media. 

“So, Ben, we see you’ve brought your lovely girlfriend Y/N here tonight,” the interviewer says. “How does she keep you grounded during the hectic football season?”

You tense a bit as you wonder what Ben is going to say, or if he’s going to be able to come up with anything on the spot, but he barely takes a second to respond.

“She’s such a calming presence in my life, really,” Ben says, squeezing your waist slightly. “She’s a nurse, so her job is infinitely harder than mine, and she still supports me emotionally whenever I hit a low point with my career. She’s…just the best person I know.”

Your heart is beating so wildly that you’re worried Ben is going to be able to tell, but you don’t have much time to stop being flustered before she’s directing a question at you.

“Y/N, I’ve heard that you two have known each other for quite some time before your relationship began,” she says. “What’s your favourite thing about Ben?”

There are a million things that come to mind right away, most of which feel too personal to share. 

You love how he takes care of the people in his life without expecting anything in return. You love how he cries every time you watch Marley and Me together, even though he’s seen it a thousand times.  You love close he is with his family and how he calls his mum every Sunday night just to chat. 

You love…

“I love how positive he is,” you say after a moment when you realize it’s taking you too long to answer. “He’s overcome a lot of adversity in his career, but he always has a smile on his face and makes everyone around him feel better by being in his presence.”

While you try to keep your answer somewhat football-related, since this is a work function, it’s also completely true.

And when Ben looks at you with that same bright smile, you think he knows that.

“Well, it seems love is in the air at Nike HQ tonight,” the interviewer swoons. “I hope you both have a nice evening, and we wish you all the best this season, Ben.”

As she leaves you standing there alone with Ben, trying to process the weight of your feelings, he turns to smile at you and tightens his grip on your waist.

When you meet his gaze and your stomach churns, you know two things for certain.

The first is that you’re in love with your best friend. It’s absolutely terrifying, due in part to the fact that you think you may have been in love with him without realizing it for a long time, but there’s no disputing it anymore.

The second is that you’re going to have to end this fake relationship before someone gets hurt. 

You just hope it’s not too late.

a/n: let me know what you thought, predictions, etc!! love chatting with all of you and your comments/asks make my day! <3 tag list: @lunamelona @kathb59 @captainwans​ @amandaaa1025 @bbygrlllllll @cinderellawithashoe​ @batmansb1tch​ @ncentic​ @myheartgoesvroom @chillymountsjess @babygirlbenji @delicateearthquakellama @joyfullyswimmingface @xxenia14 @chaotic-taco-collector-blog (let me know if you would like to be added or if i missed you!)

[justallihere]

Yelled and screamed when I saw this update. You are a gift that keeps giving 😭thank you! You are the best!

Loved the heist. Liam played xaden’s parts here? Which makes total sense. Love how Liam is not dead here, had an important role as he would have had in the books too 😭 thank you thank you for keeping him alive here.

I love love how vi is beginning to show signs of love for x. I have literally been dying for this part. Love how vi thinks of aretia as her home and wants to go home 🥹 my heart breaks that it’s going to be a while. My heart melted when she thought of carrying those books back for x. He deserves someone who cares for him so much. And also on how much she missed him, wished he was there with her, to protect her and also on that she was feeling terrible to break her promise but had no choice.

Can the squad be any more awesome? So glad vi included them all. They are a team! Jesinia and sawyer are the cutest! Love love cam and how badass he is, but also so reckless with him just pulling in vi through the wards. I don’t trust that guy to be rational anymore but it’s ok, not everyone can be rational I guess. X is gonna burn hell to get to vi now and I cannot wait. Is there going to be a love confession like in the books? (Sorry for a spoilery q, feel free to ignore it!) Will x be mad at vi for breaking her promise or he will just forget all of that with his heart flying out of his chest. Eager to read more.

Love the comic violet too- “it’s part of my charm” yes girl being badass and brave gives us all a heart attack but we do find you charming lol.

Thank you so much!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻

I was worried people were going to hate not having Xaden there for the heist because a few people brought up how excited they were for it, but I had to continue with Violet doing some things on her own that she didn’t in canon. Plus there wasn’t a great way to write it with Xaden there that he wouldn’t realize she was about to get caught and tortured. Also just not as fun and dramatic. I’m glad people seem to like the change though!

I love writing Violet falling in love with Xaden. She doesn’t need him, but she does want him there, and she’s coming to terms with that being okay. She’s allowed to have that.

Ugh Jesinia and Sawyer my BABIES!!! I was so happy to get to write them 😭 and the rest of the squad too, you guys know by now I’m not passing up an opportunity to write found family squad shenanigans. Cam and Violet are two peas in a pod with their reckless shit. No wonder Xaden and Liam hate him.

Xaden is on a warpath next chapter. At some point they’ll talk about her choice here to go ahead without him, but he’s not going to be angry at her about it like everyone seems to think. He just wants her safe, and he’ll understand why she did it. Like, it was stupid but she was kind of right lol

[awesomefringey]

Hi Sabine hope you had a lovely weekend away! It’s the anon with the astrology mum!! I’m sorry this is going to be long again idk how in depth you were interested in hearing haha, and also I tend to ramble anyway. Also not sure how much you know about astrology because there’s a few terms in here that I don’t really know what they mean but thought I’d include it. Anyway, I’m back visiting my mum so we looked at Harry’s chart again and this time I actually kept notes on what she said so I wouldn’t forget and then because I felt it was quite accurate I was really curious to know about Louis’ chart too!! Also sorry if the formatting is weird I copied it from my notes to here.

Ok so for Harry’s chart she said:

- Sun Venus in the fourth house - definitely loves home without a doubt

- Neptune in third house - deception around communication (I feel like I should have asked her more about what this meant)

- Jupiter in first house suggests he enjoys being out there, sparkly and things that are big. This is how you present to the public.

- Moon in the 12th house - being private, needing time out and his own space.

- The sun in his chart likes the attention but the moon wants to be on his own

Ok then for Louis we unintentionally ended up delving quite a bit deeper. Also thought I should preface this again by saying my mum has never even seen or heard Louis speak, let alone anything about his personality so is completely unbiased towards him so I’m kinda in shock at how accurate I felt this was:

- She started with Louis moon in the fourth house of home (where Harry’s sun is), makes home important for him too and also very close to his mum …. Sabine I almost cried when she said that and then I had to tell her that his mum had passed.

- Intercepted Libra and Aries can’t access parts commonly associated with relationships and his self? She said maybe he finds 1:1 relationships challenging

- Sun in the 8th - emphasis for him is on shared resources - not on his own but in partnerships what he can do

- Mercury mars in 7th house - partnerships sign of Sagittarius - all about freedom. She said his actions are very freedom oriented, and could also have an inclination towards self righteousness.

- Mercury and Sagittarius - tendency to blah (her words not mine lol) and say what’s on your mind with no filter and very much foot in mouth. Perhaps in matters of home more considerate or could actually be just as outspoken

- She then said speaking matters of the heart should come easily to him and he could wear his heart on his sleeve. I then told her he has actually said that about himself but she said she thought I was gonna say he had a tattoo of a heart there and touched just below her shoulder?!?!! I literally laughed and said he actually did and showed her the heart and the stag and she said it was beautiful aw.

- Saturn in the 10th house- on the public stage much more disciplined or possibly relate to restrictions as well - pay off for what she thinks will be a long ongoing career (she wants me to keep her updated on that now)

- Sun in Capricorn - wants to work and get to the top - work hard at it and be rewarded for his efforts

- Pluto Venus conjunction in 6th house - he is a very powerful or intense kind of attractor of people but that could also repel people with subconscious power plays and intimidation, which in turn may be emotionally challenging for him as he might not understand how he might be intimidating someone

- Uranus Neptune and north node conjunct in his 9th house - traveling, teaching and learning all push and pull in different directions for him and confusion on if and how he should be doing things in his own way

- Ok she then said at around age 37 there’s a nodal return which is a destiny activation and that will bring surprising or unexpected happenings (I’m very curious to see what happens around this time even tho it’s kinda far away???)

- She then looked into when this last happened for him and that was September 2010 (hello X factor days ?!?!!) she tried to pin point the day to 7th September (idk if we know anything in particular happened on this day for him?). From this time to early 2011 she said was a very important and significant time for him.

So all in all, I personally felt like this was true to their characters and hope you found it interesting! but obviously this is just her interpretation of their charts and what it reflects so others may interpret them differently :))

AHHHH I LOVE THIS SOOO MUCH!!!!

Thank you for coming back and typing this all up for us to read and study. You're the best. And your mum too.

[antimatterz]

okay okay, i’m getting out of my shell too bc trust me, i never know how to initiate conversations either but… do you have any headcanons for you and dan heng as a couple? 🥰🍁

i hope you’re having a good weekend and taking care, mwah !!

this has been in my inbox for so long and i'm so sorry TT but this ask has been on my mind the entire time and just, i loved thinking about it and here we gooo~

i'm super energetic ( adhd ayee ) while dan heng is more calm n quiet, so i guess that makes quite the interesting dynamic !! because of his calmth i manage to regulate my bursts of energy way better !! also i can totally see him secretly entertained by my hyperactive moments, although he wouldn't admit that. it shows from the tiny smile he tries but fails to hide hehe :>

once i feel at ease around someone i literally won't stop talking ( unless depresso hits ) and i can see him being a rly good listener !! so that's just right; dan heng lets me ramble while he listens patiently, paying close mind to my words even when i'm outing pure nonsense – he finds everything i say important !!

we don't rly go on standard dates such as to the movies or dinner at fancy restaurants but instead we love to retreat to a silent place and spend time together. it just suits us better, since we don't like busy places with lots of noise n all. whether it's stargazing ( which is pretty easy in space lol ) or hanging out in the archive room or cuddling somewhere quiet, we rly enjoy it !!

i'm not always happy, though. when the darkness hits i think dan heng is the perfect companion for me. he has a sweet side that he keeps especially for me and he rly pampers me in his own way when i'm not feeling well <3 he lets me complain, rant, cry, listening patiently until everything is out and then we just cuddle while he tells me everything will be okay :)

he's also my personal agenda. i'm very forgetful while his mind is very much more organized. so i will tell him everything that's important and he'll be like "remember your appointment at four." and "have you taken your meds already, angel?" and "don't forget to do do your laundry today." and suddenly, boom, he makes me function like a normal person :D ( somewhat )

he calls me "angel" <3 i have such a soft spot for that pet name and i can see him using it ( i can picture it in his voice and <333 )

he lets me pick out a phone case for him >:) as much as i love black ( i literally only wear black clothes lol ) i just think his phone case needs a little update !! but he soon has his mind set on a clear case with a polaroid of the 2 of us together behind his phone yay :>

i absolutely love taking pictures with my s/o and he lets me, secretly he loves it as well ^^

THAT GOT RLY LONG I GOT A LITTLE EXCITED SORRY !!!

again i apologize for getting to this so so so late thank you for coming out of your shell to reach out <3 HAVE A NICE DAY !! MWAH !!!

[redwonyism]

day 39-day 80 - wednesday, december 20th, 2023

AHHHHH guys i liteeally disappeared for over a month… LET ME EXPLAIN. fyi, i did not forget about this blog >_< i have a two big reasons for this break i took (right after i said i was here to stay) and here they are: i wasn’t seeing any progress (not just with weight loss, but with my habits), and i was dealing with some personal family issues. i am MUCH overdue for an update. but before i give it, i’m sorry for my lack of discipline in keeping up with this blog :(( but i’m ACTUALLY back and here to stay.

okay so… GOD where to even begin ?? okay, firstly, i’ll talk about where my head’s been the last month and half i’ve been gone. i’ve actually thought about this blog every day that i didn’t post LOL. i felt a little guilty because of my lack of discipline + i was losing good “data” to look back on later when i’ve hopefully met my goals. but, alas, finals were approaching and my school habits were greatly falling behind. i was really worried about my grades (not that i’d fail, but just that i’d disappoint myself) because i wasn’t paying attention and i was just letting myself fall behind when i had no business being behind. i also fell into some family beef in late november (on my own birthday !! worst day ever), and i lost a family member in mid december. i wasn’t eating great either, which definitely did not help my self esteem.

however, things have turned around !! through the grace of god (or something like that), i somehow pulled through with all As this semester !!! and it motivated me a lot to work even harder this coming semester, which starts in mid january. also … WE HAVE A PROFILE PIC CHANGE !!!! even though i haven’t been posting here, i HAVE been keeping track of my weight and on december 9th, i weighed in at JUST below 74 kg (73.9 to be exact)/163 lbs, which put me at the 74 kg mark. then, two days ago, i weighed in at 73.5 kg/162 !! basically, in about two months, i’ve lost about 5 kilos/10 lbs. i’m hoping for even faster progress in the future (as much as my health permits obviously). i’m just happy to have hit the 5 kg/10 lb mark. it feels good !!

so what now ? right now, i’m home for the holidays, which is honestly putting a damper on my weight loss. my gym in my hometown is further away, so it’s harder to adhere to working out. plus, my house is stocked with food, unlike my dorm. i’ve been spending my break so far wallowing in bed, but i think i’m going to start waking up earlier and working out at home. i’m thinking of trying some of those viral workouts LOL like maybe the le sserafim workout just to spice things up and keep things interesting.

it also seems like this upcoming semester will be really difficult :(( the workload looks heavy, and i’m worried i won’t be able to handle it. but i’m trying to stay hopeful. i need to look into some better study habits and try to implement them into my life. soooo i guess stay tuned for updates on that.

i guess that’s it for now. it’s good to be back and sort out my thoughts. see everyone tomorrow !!

[gn-pw]

Void state progress tracker

-I’ve gotten into the void state twice over the summer already, but i wasn’t intending to so yeah I’m trying to do it on purpose now

-I would get into the void state by putting on a guided meditation, but I wouldn’t actually listen to it. It would just be there so I wouldn’t fall asleep. Then I would just take deep breaths and then I would realize I didn’t know where I was (it feels really trippy) or what I was doing, and I would be in the void lol but it’s really easy to just fall asleep instead of getting there. I also would always forget to affirm in there because my intention would be to directly shift and I didn’t want to go into the void state 💀💀 literally kicking myself rn oh well if I can get in there twice I’ll be able to get in again

Day 1-

Listened to void state subliminal and kept counting (I think I got to 300). I think I had hypnagogic hallucinations? I saw a beach, bottle cap, and other stuff I can’t really remember. I’ve gotten into this state before, it’s like what you get into right before you sleep. I felt like I had to wake up so I did. Tried again but couldn’t really concentrate.

Day 1 Night- fell asleep 😃

Day 2- also fell asleep 😭

Day 3- tried and started vibrating? May have gotten into the void state, it’s kinda a blur lol. I might have just been very tired but I remember not remembering who I was, where I was etc for a brief period of time so I probably did. Unfortunately didn’t remember the affirms bcz I couldn’t even remember who I was lol. Tried again but kept getting distracted and couldn’t relax. Trying again tonight or tomm. Can anyone recommend subliminals?

Day 4- didn’t rlly have time to meditate :( tried but was too distracted. Tried again but I was rlly jittery bcz I had coffee and didn’t work

Day 5- interrrupted twice 😀. Third time I meditate for almost 40 mins, come out of it bcz I hear someone calling me. I noticed a pattern- usually I keep counting until I get into a state where I’m half asleep. I stay there for a while until I pull myself out, and my body will be rlly relaxed but my mind will be rlly awake. It feels like my body is sinking it’s kinda crazy. When I affirm from here I think that’s when I get into void state. I didn’t this time, stopped at my mind being awake and didn’t affirm. I feel like my main problem is persistence. I might try again today. Next time I try I’ll keep persisting until I get in. Idk if it’ll be today bcz I’ve been feeling slightly light headed since the meditation tho

Have not updated on forever sorry I had stuff going on. I’m gonna get into void today tho just bcz i don’t want to do this anymore haha bye I’ll update later

[vintagehellfire]

The Prowler | Eddie Munson x Reader

PART 1 | (PART 2)

I haven’t updated in so long because idk where to go from here but here we are. I kind of hate this chapter and I’m having a giant writers block and have been for months now. I wanted this original concept to be a one shot but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. But now I regret saying it’ll be 8 parts lol. 

Let me know what you think.

CW: 18+ mdi, strip club, smoking, unhealthy coping mechanisms, drinking, misogyny, cat calling. Reader being mean for no reason

Remember Tomorrow 

Eddie stayed with (y/n) throught the night, holding them tight as tremors wracked their body, the occasional sob escaping their swollen lips. The two migrated from the front door to the old beat up couch, folded together and allowing themselves to relish in the presence of the other – something (y/n) wouldn’t normally allow. In fact, after that night, (y/n) didn’t imagine themselves ever allowing themselves this luxury again. 

After a long moment, (y/n) peeled themselves from Eddie before attempting to look him in the eyes, yet, they couldn’t bring themselves to. They imagined that if they looked to Eddie that they’d see that solemn expression in his eyes, the pity, the sadness that they so wanted to avoid seeing. 

“I- I’m not coldhearted or soulless,” (y/n) starts, “I know I act like it, but I’m not. It’s self preservation and… I guess people expect me to live up to these rumours and tall tales. To live up to the emotionally detached coldhearted whore.” A dry laugh escaped their mouth as they spilled their emotional turmoils to Eddie. “Guys here… They want a quick and dirty fuck and act as if I don’t have the right to refuse all because of that one stupid…” Hot tears begind to drip down (y/n)’s face.

“Shh,” Eddie interrupts, rubbing circles into (y/n)’s back before tugging them into his body., “Rumours spread like wildfire here in Hawkins,” he chides, “but that never makes it your fault. The jocks have nothing better to do than sit on their asses, throw a ball around, and try to get laid. If a rumor as such spread about them, well, they wouldn’t be taking it too lightly.” (Y/n) hums in agreement. 

“I just wanted a fresh start, to forget the past. Come to this new town on better terms.” Eddie nodded gently at what (y/n) was saying, not quite understanding what they were referring to but understanding the sentiment of wanting a clean slate. 

“I know, sweetheart.” (Y/n)’s heart fluttered at the nickname despite the desire to distance themselves from the metalhead. “I’ve got you. We’re neighbours so all you have to do is knock when and if you need me.” A small nod came from (y/n) and they slowly peeled their body from Eddie’s. It was with great reluctance that they did so, but they’d never let him know such a thing. A single tear fell from their right eye before they quickly wiped it away. 

“Sorry, I just- I just don’t remember the last time someone treated me like a human. I remember my parents would try to keep me under guard and I couldn’t do anything without their approval. I started rebelling really early on, but,” (y/n) looks down at their hands while Eddie’s eyes are fixed on nobody and nothing but them, “I did anything I could that would wind them up, anything that would get me attention. They were… are… diplomats. That’s not a life you can bring a child into, not really anyway. Negative attention was attention until they got a maid to watch over me. I called her l’œil omniscient, the all seeing eye. She never let me slip.” A sigh left their lips and Eddie’s hand came up to their chin, tilting it upwards. It was as if  he wanted to say something but he didn’t know what and so he moved his hand to cup (y/n)’s cheek and brushed his thumb across their cheekbone.  “Eventually I turned eighteen, and they didn’t want me to move out because they wouldn’t be able to control their public image and so I just had to cope in whatever way I could. Any money I made was forfeit to them save for a small allowance for going out. That’s when.. I started coping.” 

“I’m sorry…” Eddie mumbled, pressing his forehead to (y/n)’s. There were only nods that came from (y/n), choked sobs threatening to erupt from their throat if they so much as attempted to speak. 

--

(Y/N) packed their school bag the next morning with pencils, papers, and a few extra items for their late night shift, Eddie a few feet away from them. There was a shame that flooded them, knowing that Eddie probably wouldn’t be as open to being around them after he discovers their secret. Nobody really wanted to associate with it, with the stigma that came along. It was as if their job somehow tainted them, coating them in the stench of shame, humiliation, and something that no amount of showers could wash away. 

Eddie grumbled gently before letting out a snore and waking himself up. His doe eyes cracked open and while he first knit his eyebrows in confusion over the strange scene, the dark sheets, the paintings and artwork strewn across the walls, the faint smell of oud and smoke – this wasn’t his trailer, he soon adjusted and it dawned on him that he fell asleep at (y/n)’s place. 

“Good morning.” He croaked out, deep velvety voice called to you, a few crackles across the tenderness that enveloped the simple statement. It caused (y/n) to look up, heart racing a million miles a minute, words that hadn’t been spoken with such gentleness in a hefty number of years, not even by false lovers that occupied their bed. 

“Oh, uh.. Morning.” (Y/N) mumbled out before turning their head away, shame suddenly flooding them. He wouldn’t be sticking around much longer, not after he found out what they do for a living, what they do to sustain themselves in this shithole and all others. 

There was a certain stigma surrounding the work that they did. It wasn’t exactly the most traditional job, nor the safest, one wrong client coming in and it might as well be a death sentence but at the end of the day, it was also a highly requested job for those melancholic and alcoholic folks who couldn’t very well deal with their own emotions. From time to time (y/n) would even get a client who spilled their life story, their sorrows and their hopes, the dreams that wound up crushed. 

“What’s got those gears turning, sweetheart?” Eddie ponders out loud, letting the question slip past his lips with ease, unknowingly asking one of the heaviest questions he could have. 

“Nothing, everything. Last night.” (Y/n) sighed out before rubbing their face and sitting back on their knees. “Eddie, I just… I need some space. I need to process everything that happened…” They choked out. In reality they didn’t want Eddie gone, but it was better to rip themselves away now than to let Eddie know what was really going on, than to come forth and tell Eddie what “coping” actually meant. It was better to have a distance than to have Eddie’s kind heart filled with the black venomous hatred that everyone else’s seems to be upon discovery of this particular coping mechanism. 

“Oh, uh… I can, I can go.” He says regrettably before crawling slowly out of the bed and putting on his shoes. He made an effort to be quick as a fox to get out of (y/n)’s hair, not overstaying his welcome for a single second longer – last night was quite enough of a breach of boundaries by his standards, especially given the air was tense now. He didn’t know what to make of this however. The comfort from last night in contrast to the coldness this morning… It pained him. It stung more than getting sucker punched by any jock, and maybe that’s because the coldness of the rejection went to his heart too. 

–

The sensual music boomed loudly, reverberating against the walls, the blinding lights overwhelming (y/n), but it was something to get used to. These jobs were always like that - overwhelming with crap music, blinding spotlights, but like other jobs, it was get in, get paid, get out just with a few more complications. For one, not every afterschool job meant dancing in lingerie at some seedy bar at the edge of town, and not every afterschool job would allow people to make enough to cover rent and a good stipend for college or whatever else was to be chosen. 

It wasn’t a desired job but it was a job that made (y/n) feel desired even if it was by Hawkin’s worst beer bellied scum. With a deep sigh they pushed out of the changing rooms and plastered a smile across their face, makeup done bright, toned body snaking around the bar before making a show of climbing up to the stage. Some hoots and hollers were heard from the crowd. 

“Oh yeah! Let me take you home baby!” A greasy trucker shouted from the back… This was going to be a long shift. 

[cheolhub]

SAR HI! so i finally managed to finish mexican gothic and dang that was one hella weird book 😭 like ???

im gonna rate this 2.5/3 out of 5 because it just wasn't my cup of tea. it was really slow and like took ages to get the the point and actual plot. i felt they were repeating alot and it just got dragged alot which i hate, i dislike slow paced stuff ugh. and it doesn't pick up until the middle which is kinda annoying bc i was just reading and reading having no idea what's going on or what's supposed to be happening lol. i didnt like most of the characters either and i just skim read the half the book i could not take it anymore 😭 but like when everything was finally revealed like wth it was weird and idk what i expected honestly 😭😭 but yeah i didn't enjoy mexcian gothic so much.

JAJD IM SORRY I WENT ON A WHOLE REVIEW AND RANT ABT IT 😭 anyway i need a cute read after this now

how's the twisted series read going?

DONT APOLOGIZE, I ENCOURAGE UR RANTS. BUT that’s so disappointing 🙁 i hate that sm, im sorry u didn’t like it!! i hate the slow books :/ (unless it’s slowburn romance 🤭) thats kinda how i felt with this book i read called milk fed?? it was just droning on and on and i just wanted it to end,,, and i was so excited to read it bc the topics in the book seemed like important ones to explore but the main character was annoying, the plot build up was annoying, the entire thing was just… so bad.

IF U NEED A CUTE READ, read forget me not by julie soto 🥰(sunshine wedding planner x grumpy florist + enemies to lovers + second chance) i recommend this book to everybody bc it’s my fav romance ive read this year,,, or maybe try love and other words by christina lauren since fall time is coming up (childhood friends to lovers + second chance….fair warning, this one made me cry) BUT OBVIOUSLY U DONT HAVE TO READ THESE, im just throwing out suggestions 🫣

AND ok, i’m about to go on a rant so im so sorry for how long this is about to be.

so like,,, tell me why i finished both the first and second book… i think i already told u abt the first book?? about how i gave it 2.7 stars bc i fucking hated the plot and the third act and the ending … but skye…. THE SECOND ONE… OH MY FUCKING GOD. I KNOW IT’S CRINGE AND PREDICTABLE AND NOT REALLY THAT GOOD, but this book had me kicking my feet and giggling over EVERYTHING… the slow burn… was so good… OMFG i literally hate that i loved it sm like cant keep succumbing to booktok. but yeah, ngl i was blushing the entire time T-T it was sooo long tho. the slowburn was slow as fuck, like i dont think it started picking up till halfway through the book ?? but i think i just discovered that i REALLY like the forbidden romance trope 🫡

so i was telling my coworker and all my friends on goodreads that i needed to take a break from the series bc i felt like i was losing brain cells, but…

so here i am, 40% done with twisted hate. i am not the biggest e2l fan but ,,,, i kinda like this. i dont think it’ll be as good as the second one… but i will keep you updated 🫡 i’ll probably be done with the entire series by this weekend 😭 so sick…

OKAY SORRY FOR THIS CFFHDGHJ

[hyliasblade]

OOC/Rules

mun is kris. 24. they/them, anxious bastard lol

updated 7/3/23: the wrath month edition

the roulxs:

18+ only

minors and personals will be soft blocked. upon following again: hard block.

if you are a personal with an rp sideblog please make it clear on your blog or just tell me because otherwise you might get blocked.

minor MUSES are fine though

i read rules pages for every blog i follow that has one but i have a shit memory so if i accidentally breach one of your rules please let me know. or block me if it’s that egregious but please for the love of god do not publicly @ me who the fuck does that. do not make a callout post for me being forgetful like a fucking weirdo. if i breach a rule that is not on your rules page then i’m sorry, i’m not a mind reader.

on the “q slur:” i’ll do my best to tag is as “#q //” that’s q, two slashes. keep in mind i identify with that word, strongly. if it angers you that i would dare use a “"slur”“ to label myself or whatever, remember “gay” has seen just as much use as a slur. i grew up in the american south, i’ve heard both words used for the same harmful reasons. sorry if this comes off as angry or petty, but if you were continually told that “gay” is a slur and you shouldn’t use it for yourself, you’d be tired and angry too, wouldn’t you? i’ll do my best to tag for it, but i will die on this hill.

please tag spiders/scorpions/arachnids, hanging/nooses, and also maybe trypo/holes thanks

semi-selective i will roleplay with most fandoms, ocs, and muses also not moots exclusive.

please don’t like. involve me in drama or callouts or shit. i’m just here trying to play fucking online dolls

with the above said i do reserve the right to block/cease interacting with ppl who make me uncomfortable, just like you reserve the right to block/cease interacting with me if i make u uncomfortable. i prefer to try to come to some kind of understanding first, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way

please note that i, the mun, am mentally ill and neurodivergent. in a lot of cases, my muses will share some of my own personal struggles to sort of like. explore these things myself and shit. link in particular shares a lot of my neurodivergencies and chronic pain. shit gets frustrating and sometimes roleplaying a tiny elf twink going thru the same shit helps a bit. u know how it is.

though link may act a bit naive and sometimes even childish, he is still very much an adult. not a “rule” exactly just something to keep in mind.

sorry if some of these seem overly detailed or serious. i’ve been around the block when it comes to rp tumblr i’m just trying to cover all my bases in at least a semi concise manner.

also sorry if any of this comes off as passive aggressive or rude. i can’t parse or regulate tone for shit like in an actual verbal conversation, trying to convey it thru text is damn near impossible for me lmao

i’m really just a tired nerd who is trying to have fun on this hellsite.

um that’s all i can think of for now may add or change more later thanks for reading have a great time

[sirensplayhouse]

hi! (i’m a diff anon lol) so this anon here, i’m planning on doing the same thing they’re doing except my problem is my camera roll 😭. IT SOUNDS SO SILLY LMFAOO BUT , since i’m revising always living my desired life everything ofc will be different and everything would’ve gone differently as in like.. the way i saved some photos and videos. i would’ve saved them differently than how I originally did if i was living my dream life always i sent some photos / videos to myself on ig for the things i wanna keep in my phone once i revise my life, and then leaving the rest of the vids and pics on there to however it went in my life. will the videos and photo i sent to myself dtill be in my new phone once i successfully manifest always living my new life?? IM LIKE THAT ANON I WANNA FORGET MY ENTIRE LIFE BUT I WANT THOSE PICS AND VIDS TO STAY IN MY PHONE PLS THIS SOUNDS SO STUPID IM CRUING BUT THOSE VIDEOS ARE IMPORTANT. ( they’re edits of the people i wanna revise being friends with but theyre really good edits okok.) is this understandable or not i’m gonna sob if this makes no sense 😭😭😭

basically, i want some of videos and pictures i have rn in my current life, on my new phone in my new life that is gonna be my current life cause i’m revising my 3d to fit it. I REALLY NEED HELP WITH THIS BC ITS SO SMALL I FEEL LIKE I MIGHT LOSE THE VIDEOS 😭😭

ALSOO, I WROTE EVERYTHING DOWN IN MY NOTES APP THAT I WANT. do u have umbrella affs for it? <3

SORRY THIS IS SUCH A STUPID QUESTION OMG

hey love <3,

you can put out the fire now💀😂your subconscious knows you because it is you. so if you want to keep the pictures you sent to yourself the same then it will, no need to worry. and here are some affirmations love.

be sure to come and update me🫶🏾

[villainship]

[Writing WIP Questionnaire]

Reflecting on my drafts folder w/ the previously-skipped section of the questions I was answering here.

If you read this: . . .don’t look @ me. LOL. (Exposing my secrets -- and also hiding from them.)

-

Sum up one or more of your wips!

Most aren’t for tumblr-posting, mind u. But:

(Divided up by which character has narration rights)

-a Vette story I keep forgetting abt, where she is trying to figure out TD’s post-binge fate on Nar Shaddaa, having decided she’s actually invested in this weird Sith’s wellbeing.

-Quinn experiencing TD’s response to betrayal (TD: “I’m not mad, I just want you to acknowledge your life is in /my/ hands. Forever.”)

-like 4 separate WIPs of ‘joint midlife crisis’ Zahied & TD engaging in their unsanctioned fraternizing in early times/getting to know each other -- however eagerly (TD) or reluctantly (Zahied). -Alliance-era, mid-50s Zahied thinks hard abt where he is, tells TD he ready to dump him (probably. Soon. --For real, though. NO relapses. When it’s done it’s /done/, 100%. Swearing off this shit- . . . Yes, he’ll still teach ur damn kids their hand-to-hand fighting.)

-Alliance-era TD, fraught with relationship issues/feelings(???) beyond his comprehension (dumped by his boyfriend; wife still touchy that he is hot for his boss; boss ignoring him b/c 1. she has never considered him significant or attractive 2. she’s busy with the happiness of being reunited with her bug husband), takes a team (incl. his Apprentice) to Hoth for a mission, where they lose contact with home base & can’t send an update to confirm they’re still alive. --He thinks that’s fine he didn’t want to hear from anyone there for a While anyway-- (but something else Will go wrong.) -Agent Vensys is assigned as chaperone for traitor-on-probation Sith Lord Liio (going Where? idk) -- which may be AU content, or I might make it canon. . . or I might split off into 2 different versions (one where they potentially makeout a little, & one for sailing the crack ship onward to far-distant horizons that veer OOC for at least 1 of them). Lolll. -(?canon?) Kallir has a nice day. -Kallir runs afoul of a posse of Imperial troops privately harboring anti-Sith sentiments in a garrison on Taris (? question mark). (Visiting pumpkin Agent was witnessed holding hands with a Sith who recently came by) -- I’m evaluating how much violence I’ll include as canon. (Less than I wrote. . . but some. He definitely gets bullied. Punches someone in the throat. Maybe knifes a guy a little bit?? I wrote that scene, but I’m not sure it’ll fit.) -Kallir undergoing an entire ordeal living among space pirates & becoming slightly unhinged. -in AU: Kallir (the Minister of Intelligence), dragged away from the tail end of a formal ball, puts up with Vensys plying his charms at him (again)

-total shipping AU: Kallir, Liio, & Zahied, lonely hearts club, attempt to distract one another from mountains of baggage in the only way that comes to their minds when they recognize everyone else is hot and thirsty. (Fellas. . . you’re a mess. Sorry I’m so into that.)

Which story took the most research?

Well- the extent of research I’m willing to do is stuff like “what’s this place/object look like in SWTOR?”, or “what does the internet say about these star wars aliens?”

Which story has the most lore?

TD going to Hoth to blow up a Star Fortress maybe (regrettably, I don’t know the relevant lore & I’ve been incapable of doing the gameplay I want to do to get there).

Current word count of all your main wips?

I do Not track those stats. . . I think I know which are the longest, though.

-Part 1 of Liio/Kallir/Zahied AU is. . . 54 pages (for. . .3-4 scenes, essentially. dkfshgkjf). -Part 2 combined WIPs are 15 + 6 + 3 + .2 (a paragraph) (split up due to time-jumping mid-draft, starting a new file, & returning to unfinished business when I feel like it)

Fic that isn’t a total departure from character canon: -Part 1 (of the in-depth edition) of Kallir’s pirate story is a 32 page WIP, w/ an 18-page side chapter (which might not get any longer) -Part 2: 6 pages so far.  -Aftermath follow-up: 7 so far.

How many projects do you have going on right now? Are there any that you doubt you’ll ever finish?

(My answer to question 1 is more-or-less my entire list) It’s hard to say I Won’t finish anything, but also--I don’t often finish writings.

What was you first major project? How far along is it?

And I wouldn’t necessarily call any of them ‘major’ projects (pirate fic got pretty big--but. idk). . .

My first SWTOR fic was for TD & Quinn, and I got lost on it. lol. It’s one of those drafts that feels convoluted to look at (there’s a lot of patchwork pieces), & I’m not sure exactly how much of it is worth having in there or what I actually Want to write into it. (Quinn is hilarious to write, though.)

What are some tropes and character dynamics found in your wips?

. . . gay little scene-slice stories of charged & intimate interactions--aggressive or/and soothing. Just people having their emotional problems in various Situations (sometimes amid danger/stress. . . sometimes when they are trying to enjoy themselves. . . Sometimes those mix).

So. . . tame (generally tame.) psychological whump (mainly psychological.) I Guess. H/C-aligned.

Describe the setting of one or more of your wips

All my stories are in settings of Convenience, and usually defined more by who is there than details of the place itself. (eg. I’m picturing “Kallir gets bullied for having a Sith bf” somewhere on Taris b/c it seems like the kind of place where the military doesn’t get a lot of oversight). Nothing too exciting (or original).

What are some things that inspired your stories? Real events? Maybe a dream?

Game events sometimes, of course. ehehh.

I also have. . . not uncommonly come up w/ concepts for scenarios based on outfits. (Pirate fic arose b/c I previewed the Belsavis zap collar on Kallir. Vensys’ formal outfit was the starting point for that AU fic with the formal event)

What story are you the proudest of? Why?

I dunnoooo-- I have. . . a weird relationship w/ my writings. I don’t have consistent feelings about them (whether I think anything is so good or absolutely Unbearably terrible/cringe changes based on my own moods), and. . . A lot of the time I’m ashamed even making some/most of them for various reasons.

. . .BUT. I was (and still am) pretty proud of how I wrote our charas in the pumpkin-meets-Severine mini-story from a While back (which I just re-blogged cuz of the improvement edits last night). hehe. On fire w/ that one, writing a couple of my favorite personalities--successfully (I’d say) channeling a character that’s not even mine. 

And I don’t feel like I wasted my time if it’s a gift 4 a friend & I’ve been able to make their day with it. <3 We luv our charas. hell yeaaaaaaa

[tsukikoayanosuke]

Behind the Fic: TW:OPT - Chapter 151-156

Happy birthday to me. Here’s a Wallmart chapter update instead of the TW:OPT Finale I wish I can do *yeets chapter*

WARNING: This will contain a bit of spoiler for the newest chapters of my fan fiction Twisted-Wonderland: Our Precious Treasure.

So, the line might be blurry. I should’ve written my notes after each chapter. So, spare me if I forget a lot of details.

Chapter 151: Grim Grinning Ghosts Come Out to Socialize

This chapter is Kalim’s POV because I want to make it an at least smooth transition from the previous arc to the next. While Kalim is not a big player in the arc, he’s still there.

So, there is an idea about the spell that Kalim mentioned. "Postestas Destruam'' comes from two Latin words: "postestas'' means "authority, Power, control, Dominion, force, might'' and "destruam" means "tear down". This is a spell that can break mind control spell/power, for example, Jamil’s Snake Whisper.

The idea was, that if in the future, there are more hypnotists involved, Kalim, who has experienced them, can break it. So, you can take this as he’s maybe traumatized from what happened in the training camp. However, I assure you that this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t trust Jamil anymore. Just a safety precaution.

I actually really like the parallel between Azul/Jonah dan Kalim/Jamil, that’s why Azul commented how Kalim changed a bit because himself had changed as well.

The fight scene here is really short. I think my friend suggested a fight from the Power Ranger series so I just took a random compilation clip.

So, yeah. Jonah got kidnapped. Told you so. 

A small throwaway line from Rook. Yes, I will be giving them some idol outfits for their VDC performance because it’s a crime not to!

Eliza’s full name is taken from various names of the Beating-Heart Bride since it seems that’s Yana’s inspiration. Those names are “Mélanie Ravenswood” from the Phantom Manor at Disneyland Paris and “Elizabeth Henshaw” from The Haunted Mansion 2003 film.

Now, let’s talk about the whole reincarnation thing. Originally, I’m keeping this for future chapters, however, I think because of the flow of the chapter, I decided to write it. The whole thing is my Retelling Doctrine, which will be explained more in the final episode.

However, I did hint about some cycles. One example is in Chapter 116 with Vil. But I’m taking liberties for the reason why the plot follows the Disney movies.

Chapter 152: Desired Requirements for the Bridegroom

This chapter is in Riddle's POV. I forget the reasoning, but I think honestly I can't pick, so we go with Riddle default. Besides, he has a major role in the arc. Also, I need to have at least one Riddle POV since, you know, his crush is kidnapped lol.

The return of BirdDad lol

Yes. Sam tried to fight the ghosts when they kidnapped Jonah and Idia. You guys will see it in Chapter 155.

Now, this is where I kinda struggle between the original scenario where "Eliza has this too much standard" and the new "Eliza wants the man with the same soul", so all these criteria are meaningless. However, I think this when I decided "wait, what if the prince charming is real, but with a twist?" So, this is the birth of "Eliza has two people she once in love with before Jonah." You'll see this in Chapter 156.

And that is how we still use the original "Eliza has this too much standard" plot point while still applying " Eliza wants the man with the same soul". A bit flimsy? Yeah, sorry about that.

Actually I once forgot to copy-paste a whole section (I think it was where Cater asked about what if the ideal prince gives the ring), but it was fixed how. Well, that was embarrassing.

Chapter 153: Changing the Topic at my Own Discretion

Vil POV chapter let's go.

Now, remember in canon Vil changed from "atashi" to "boku"? Similar to Indonesian Floyd, the change of speech wouldn't work well in writing form compared to the visual/audio form. Most writing I think would just ignore that line and technically I did as well.

To substitute this, I decided to show the whole "future headmaster Vil" thing because we hadn't seen this since Chapter 140

Relating to what Azul mentioned in Chapter 127, Vil knows various secrets of the school, including secret passageways.

When writing headmaster!Vil, I do have a vision that he has more authority than all students. Like, he can expel a student with the agreement from Crowley.

Floyd is not scared of normal!Vil, but is threatened by headmaster!Vil.

I mean, I always see Vil as someone who would probably be placed in the top-rank student. Also, considering this is something that Neige doesn't have, he would work hard for it as well. Imagine an idol being a headmaster. So, he knew more spells, including barrier spells as mentioned many times below.

Eliza is the same here, however, canon never said her real age (to be fair she's a ghost). I always headcanon him being a teen around the same age as the main cast which is why she would marry Idia and is quite a brat. Like, don't deny that all of us are selfish brats during our teen years (I know I was). However, I kinda de-aged her again, so now she's thirteen years old, a tween, and even more of a brat lol!

Obligatory Hamilton reference. Like, come on, her name is Eliza! This song fit her! (and watch this cute animatic) And Vil rapping because why not. I might change the lyrics when I'm editing this.

Chapter 154: Fakes Who Don’t Understand a Maiden’s Heart

There's not much change between this chapter and canon since this is just retelling the next slapping scene.

Trey POV honestly came out of nowhere. Like, I'm trying to pick someone's POV and Trey seemed to be the easiest.

And then I ended up making Trey a bit as a jerk...? Mostly the reasoning is he doesn't know Jonah much so his feeling (platonic) toward him is weak. Which, yes, like what I mentioned in the Jonah’s relationship chart I made, I do intend to not make Jonah close to everyone since, again, this is not a harem story. Trey in is the category of 'acquaintances with Jonah' compared to Riddle 'friend to Jonah', so there is still this distance between Trey and Jonah.

You think the groom will be Idia, but it was him: Jonah! Told you there’s going to be a twist here. I’ve planned this for a long time!

Chapter 155: Please Marry Me, Dear Ideal Prince

The return of Jonah Argentum after not appearing since Chapter 149 (but honestly is role in Kalim's Disappearance Arc is also a bit minor)

This is the first chapter I've ever wrote for this arc and is intended to be the first chapter. However, after the end of the previous arc, to make it flow better, this chapter served as a flashback chapter. Which I think was our first ever full flashback?

‘Kyoto Nya Nya’ is a parody of Tokyo Mew Mew. I headcanon it’s a Queendom of Rose magical girl series lol

There’s a tiny influence from Barbie a Fairy Secret. Because it also involves kidnapping an unwilling groom (Ken) 

Sam to the rescue!

I asked my Discord friend whether I should give Sam a gun like I did in the Kingdom Hearts AU, and it was a hard yes. The difference is KH AU Sam has two guns like a cowboy while OPT Sam has a musket like the American Revolution War gun (thanks, Hetalia).

Sam's unique magic is made up. The chants came from the Friend from the Other Side, the name is the word “facile” from Dr. Facelier, and the concept is similar to Bungou Stray Dogs Ryuunosuke Akutagawa’s Rashomon.

Sam’s fight against the ghosts is based on Mami Tomoe vs Gertrude from Episode 2 of Puella Magi Madoka Magica anime 

Jonah's groom's suit is inspired by Noctis' final wedding suit from Final Fantasy XV ending.

I may or may not have tried to make Eliza more likable. I already love her from the beginning, but the accidental lore makes me want to add more to her while still maintaining that childishness we’ve seen in canon. We shall see in the next chapter.

Chapter 156: Boy, You Got Me Helpless!

The original title of this chapter was 'Once Upon a Dream'. You know the Sleeping Beauty song. But I changed it again to continue with the Hamilton references train.

Now. Why even bother giving Eliza a full-chapter backstory? Honestly, even if this arc is a lighter tone, there are some important plot points here and there. And Eliza with Jonah's ancestors is one of them. I'll explain more in the final episode.

Another thing is I do want to explore one possibility of why Eliza is like that. I don't want it to make Eliza just some lovesick brat with no things backing her up. So, why not make her story somewhat of a tragedy?

However, I do admit it was weak, because: 1) Heartbreak story was never my strongest suit, (2) I am on a time crunch. I'll be probably editing this in the rewrite.

Actually, there was a difference from the first draft. Originally, Eliza and Felipe were genuinely in love with each other (inspired by Noctis and Lunafreya's relationship in FFXV), but Eliza was killed on the way to the wedding. However, this contradicts the other plan of having Jonah as the groom and his ancestor thing, so Eliza's story was changed so Felipe, who fulfilled his criteria, rejected her, and Jonah's ancestors renewed that love.

The names in Eliza's past are inspired by some England royal family. We have King Henry VIII (King Heinrich (the dad)), Anne Boelyn (Queen Anna (the unnamed mom)), Edward VI (Prince Eduard (the unnamed brother)), Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh (Prince Felipe), Prince Andrew of Greece and Denmark (King Andreas (the prince's father)), Princess Alice of Battenberg (Queen Alissa (the prince's unmentioned mother)).

I gave Chubby a real name Christopher. My first thought was Christopher Robin.

We don't exactly know how old Eliza is but what we know is that she's a spoiled brat who doesn't take 'no' for an answer. Huh, that sounds like something a teenager or someone younger would do. Thus, she is now a ghost of a 13 years old princess. Like, when else are you gonna find a petty brat, especially on the internet?

Also, Eliza being 13 and Felipe being 16 is a Romeo and Juliet reference.

More Hamilton reference. We're still using 'Helpless' for this so for the title and "1 week later, 2 weeks later". I decided to stretch it to one month. Still, one month of a long-distance relationship through letters is still a short time.

Ad the last part "she looks like a horse" is from the TV show The Tudors.  No, I never watched it, I just found a compilation of the queens and saw King Henry called Anne of Cleves that.

So, about Jonah's ancestor, Nathan Ferrer. They are twisted from the same character (which will be revealed in the finale), but the name has an influence from Nathaniel Flint from Treasure Planet.

The first name is taken from Nathan Drake, or “Nate”, The protagonist of the video game series Uncharted, which includes four main games: Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, Uncharted 2: Among Thieves, Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception, and Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End. The last name is taken from Jaume Ferrer, a Majorcan sailor and explorer who sailed from Majorca to find the legendary "River of Gold" on 10 August 1346, but the outcome of his quest and his fate is unknown.

When I'm making Nathan Ferrer for the first time, I honestly don't know what he would look like. But then I remembered One Piece existed. So, I decided, since Shanks kinda has Jonah's looks, it's only fair that Nathan Ferrer has Monkey D. Luffy looks.

Actually, relating to the whole early Retelling Doctrine, Nathan's name was not supposed to appear at all. His name would only be revealed in the last episode of this arc. But because of the change in Eliza's backstory, he was namedropped in this chapter.

This is also related to Eliza's backstory change. Because there were two love interests, it would be better to not get confused.

Azul and Riddle's last-minute appearance was not supposed to be there, but I had trouble ending the chapter, so have a cliffhanger.

[dogsgone]

ooc/rules/cw

mun is kris. 24. they/them, anxious bastard lol

updated 7/3/23: the wrath month edition

the roulxs:

18+ only

minors and personals will be soft blocked. upon following again: hard block.

if you are a personal with an rp sideblog please make it clear on your blog or just tell me because otherwise you might get blocked.

minor MUSES are fine though

i read rules pages for every blog i follow that has one but i have a shit memory so if i accidentally breach one of your rules please let me know. or block me if it’s that egregious but please for the love of god do not publicly @ me who the fuck does that. do not make a callout post for me being forgetful like a fucking weirdo. if i breach a rule that is not on your rules page then i’m sorry, i’m not a mind reader.

on the “q slur:” i’ll do my best to tag is as “#q //” that’s q, two slashes. keep in mind i identify with that word, strongly. if it angers you that i would dare use a “"slur”“ to label myself or whatever, remember “gay” has seen just as much use as a slur. i grew up in the american south, i’ve heard both words used for the same harmful reasons. sorry if this comes off as angry or petty, but if you were continually told that “gay” is a slur and you shouldn’t use it for yourself, you’d be tired and angry too, wouldn’t you? i’ll do my best to tag for it, but i will die on this hill.

please tag spiders/scorpions/arachnids, hanging/nooses, and also maybe trypo/holes thanks

semi-selective i will roleplay with most fandoms, ocs, and muses also not moots exclusive.

please don’t like. involve me in drama or callouts or shit. i’m just here trying to play fucking online dolls

with the above said i do reserve the right to block/cease interacting with ppl who make me uncomfortable, just like you reserve the right to block/cease interacting with me if i make u uncomfortable. i prefer to try to come to some kind of understanding first, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way

please note that i, the mun, am mentally ill and neurodivergent. in a lot of cases, my muses will share some of my own personal struggles to sort of like. explore these things myself and shit. link in particular shares a lot of my neurodivergencies and chronic pain. shit gets frustrating and sometimes roleplaying a tiny elf twink going thru the same shit helps a bit. u know how it is.

though link may act a bit naive and sometimes even childish, he is still very much an adult. not a “rule” exactly just something to keep in mind.

sorry if some of these seem overly detailed or serious. i’ve been around the block when it comes to rp tumblr i’m just trying to cover all my bases in at least a semi concise manner.

also sorry if any of this comes off as passive aggressive or rude. i can’t parse or regulate tone for shit like in an actual verbal conversation, trying to convey it thru text is damn near impossible for me lmao

i’m really just a tired nerd who is trying to have fun on this hellsite.

um that’s all i can think of for now may add or change more later thanks for reading have a great time

content warnings:

Content warnings for this blog include, but may not be limited to:

- Religious trauma

- Violence, death, etc.

- The inherent psychological torment that comes with being cursed to reincarnate forever and ever, only to be brought into the world when evil once again threatens to destroy everything, and having only a single use and purpose in life to the goddess one serves, that being the wielder of her sacred blade to seal away the evil once more, until it inevitably rears its ugly head again. I guess this goes under religious trauma.

- Mental illness and trauma in general.

- Lycanthropy.

That’s all I can think of for now; if more comes up, I’ll add to this list, and as always, if I’m unsure of anything, I will tag it with #ask to tag, so feel free to blacklist that tag if you need to.

[draiochteve]

I keep forgetting to come on here an load up my queue I’m sorry skhfksjhfksj

Also frustrated that several of my fic ads ended up shadow banned and I can’t figure out which words used did it lol. I swear people get away with WAAAAAAY more spicy stuff than me on the posts themselves so I’m shaking tumblr rn.

Perhaps the Citrus Scale has betrayed me and we must move onto other codewords....lmao any update on that lawsuit yet? I’m tired of the censorship.