#I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and go with you being in shock

[rainbowsky]

Sorry I've taken so long to address this, I've had a very busy day and didn't have time to finish this post (which I started yesterday).

I'm talking, of course, about the incredibly controversial situation surrounding DD right now. I've gotten some messages about it so I figured I'd give my thoughts in a bigger post so that I don't have to keep repeating myself.

(CW: racism, spoilers FPU)

I know that by now most people are aware of the situation, but I'm going to start from square one for those who are just catching up on the topic.

There is a scene in Formed Police Unit where Chinese UN peacekeeping troops need to rescue a group of citizens who are surrounded by terrorists. In order to accomplish this they disguise themselves as people from the community. This being Africa, the troops were disguised using blackface.

Yes, I am saying that DD and his castmates appear in the film in blackface.

I am not going to post a picture of that here. It's just something I can't post on my blog. I understand that many of you will want to see for yourself so I'll link a clip of the scene, which was posted on Weibo. Please be aware before clicking - this is full-on blackface. Always take care of yourselves, and if you think it might be upsetting to you don't click. You don't need to see it to be a 'good fan'.

Background

For those who may not know, this movie was filmed years ago, in 2021. During those years I have seen many anti attacks against DD, claiming that he is racist and has worn blackface. Here's the photo that was circulating back then.

At the time I thought the makeup that he was wearing was likely anti-reflective black paint or camouflage paint such as is used by snipers (which he played in the film). I assumed that he was wearing his own hoodie over part of a military costume, because he was wearing a cammo shirt and what might have been combat trousers.

I was certainly not expecting full-on blackface from this movie.

There's no getting around it - this is extremely difficult to look at.

Blackface is widely viewed as offensive and racist. It shouldn't be hard to understand why. Putting on another person's ethnicity like a costume is deeply insensitive, particularly when you consider that BIPOC (black, indigenous, and other people of color) are so frequently targeted, exploited and marginalized. For those in positions of privilege and power to put on the appearance of the people who they oppress and exploit... it's just shocking and awful.

Blackface is most frequently talked about in an American context, but it's actually a problem globally - including in China. More on all that here.

The film

I have not actually seen the film, so I don't know much about the context beyond what is being discussed in the fandom. As I said earlier, in the film a group of UN police officers need to infiltrate an area in the community and take on disguises in order to do so.

In promotional media this film is being presented as based on true stories from real missions*. It seems the situation in question really happened on a Chinese peacekeeping mission, and the UN troops disguised themselves as black citizens in order to infiltrate and extract the endangered captives.

*I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt on this because it doesn't change how I feel it should have been handled.

This is important context that is being conveniently left out of much of the backlash about this situation. People are outright claiming that DD plays a black person in the movie - that he wore blackface to perform a role that a black actor could have played. This simply isn't true, and people making these claims are antis and liars. There's simply no excuse for not knowing the full context.

Having said that, I don't really think it matters how it ended up in the film. I do not think there is such a thing as a palatable or appropriate use of blackface. In this day and age it is nearly universally understood to be racist, and it's extremely controversial.

I can understand if they were trying to be accurate to the mission that they were portraying, but surely there are other ways they could have accomplished this scene (perhaps with the clothing but not the blackface). 'Historical accuracy' isn't as important as cultural sensitivity, not by any stretch of the imagination. In the interest of respecting audiences they could have adapted the scene to make the use of blackface unnecessary.

I really see no excuse for anything like this in 2024.

Audience reactions

Chinese sensibilities around these topics are very different from what we are used to in the West.

According to fan repos audiences initially didn't recognize any of the actors, and once it became apparent that they were in disguise, laughter erupted around the room. In fact, most fans are laughing a lot at the photos and video even on social media (although some Chinese netizens have been upset by it and have voiced complaints to various stakeholders).

It is also being widely discussed on Chinese social media as an exciting scene of heroism in the film.

I feel the need to point out that the laughter and mockery is a huge part of the harm, here. As if it's not bad enough that these actors are performing in blackface and presenting a perversion of black ethnicity, it also becomes an opportunity for audiences to mock and disrespect black people. It's become an opportunity for social media to be filled with racist jokes and mockery.

Roadshow statements

There have been some clips circulating of PR and roadshow moments with black cast members and some black audience members who have spoken up in support of the film and to thank the cast and crew for telling the story. Here's one example.

International fans have been dismissing those statements as ignorant or coerced, which I think is offensive and deeply fucked up. There's no planet on which I'm going to - with a totally straight face - say that a black person's response to the movie is not legitimate just because it doesn't comport with my own view.

This is a complex issue and there are inevitably going to be a lot of different perspectives. I hope people won't exacerbate the problem by supplanting black voices on this issue with their own, no matter what's being said. If there's any manipulation going on, let's assume it was in their choosing supportive black figures to speak for the film rather than claim that the black spokespeople are insincere.

China has a lot of issues with racism, there's no doubt about it. It's a huge part of why so many people try to whiten their skin, or why they mock each other when their skin gets tanned/darker. There is a lot of sinister, fucked up stuff going on in China around race - both in the country and in their dealings with other countries.

But we can't claim to speak for black people in China, particularly when they are speaking for themselves! I would hope this is extremely obvious!

Where's DD in all this?

It's understandable that bystanders will react to what they're seeing and might immediately deem it unacceptable - and DD along with it. Their reactions are valid, but as fans I hope that we can look at him with a bit more empathy. I hope that we can take a moment to try to see things from his perspective.

DD has been interested in and an avid fan of black culture since he was a small child. We've all seen how much he immerses himself in hip hop, street dance and the accompanying music and fashion. And yes, he's been accused of cultural appropriation in the past for wearing locs and durags.

However, I think fans need a bit of perspective here to get a sense of where DD might be coming from. Here's a guy who loves black culture, who has close friends who are black, who regularly works with black artists and who supports black artists, in a culture where racism against black people is prevalent and often extreme.

I think DD would probably be amazed to hear the accusations of racism against him. He likely has very few people in his orbit who are anywhere near as supportive of or as closely connected to black people as he is. He likely stands out in his circle as being particularly into black culture and connected with black artists, and probably regularly faces ignorant questions or digs from people around him about his close association with black artists and culture.

Not just because of racism alone, but also due to the racist parallels the government tends to draw between black culture, street dance, hip hop, etc. and criminality/moral degradation*. It's likely that ignorant people in his orbit have expressed concern or wariness toward him because of these associations.

*That is, until breakdancing became an Olympic sport, then they were suddenly onboard with some of it.

I'm not saying that he doesn't have a lot of learning to do (and if this situation becomes what I think it might become, he'll have a big opportunity to do so), I'm just saying that his ignorance isn't mean-spirited. He's coming at this from a totally different angle than any of us are, and he is immersed in a totally different cultural perspective than our own. In his world, his interest likely makes him a bit of an anomaly.

So those painting him as a horrible racist... it's just not how I see it.

The element of choice

I've heard many people say that DD 'didn't have any choice' about this role, that turning it down would not have been an option or that he would be under some kind of threat if he didn't take this role. I don't agree with that characterization of things. I don't think it's quite as 'gun to the head' as a lot of fans paint it.

I think it's more likely that he simply didn't realize that the role would involve blackface when he accepted it, or that he thought that blackface in this context - to infiltrate a terrorist cell and save civilians - would be fine. We don't need to depict China as forcibly compelling actors to take unwanted roles if we want to make sense of this. There are simpler, more logical explanations.

DD wouldn't have been the one deciding how to depict the scene - he didn't have that power in 2021 - but I also doubt he would have had a major problem with it given everything we know.

We must overcome our Western tendency to see things only from our own perspective. This has a totally different cultural context in China, and the voices we listen to about it should not be issuing exclusively from white faces that are not at ground zero of this situation.

Final thoughts

This film has had me worried from day one. I think most people have been expecting it to be full of offensive portrayals and propagandistic fuckery. There are so many ways in which a Chinese film about the UN is potentially a sticky, tricky mess. This blackface thing is likely just one problem on a towering pile of problems.

However, I'm not going to sugarcoat this - this has the potential to be a real shitshow for DD, and I am concerned. Especially if this film gets an international release.

We need to brace ourselves, because I don't think this is going to just disappear. DD has endorsements with international brands, and this could definitely cause backlash for those brands unless the issue is addressed and the scenes removed. There's no planet on which brands like Chanel and Lacoste can afford to have one of their spokespeople plastered everywhere in blackface.

If this film gets an international release and those scenes are left intact, it's possible he will lose some brands.

Let's hope it doesn't come to that, but let's face it - things like this have consequences, and that's why it's so important for producers and artists to be sensitive about what they're portraying.

While I think there's some endorsement risk here for DD, and the potential loss of some international fans, I want to be clear about one thing: I don't think this will threaten his career overall. In China this just isn't an issue in the way it is internationally.

I do hope the film team addresses this issue in some way, ideally by removing the scenes. They just finished doing a massive edit to remove ZZH from the film, surely they can handle something like this. But let's not hold our breath...

Everyone has the right to make up their minds about DD. As I've often said, being a turtle isn't for the faint of heart. That's not just because turtles are frequent targets for bullies, or because we have to constantly live with uncertainty and doubt.

Being an international turtle also isn't for the faint of heart because there are a lot of cultural and political minefields to navigate, and many ideological differences to adapt to. There's a huge learning curve and a lot of unknowns, and turtles who want to survive have to make peace with the fact that we and the boys are from different worlds in many ways. We may never know where they really stand on issues that are important to us.

However, in this case I feel confident that I know where DD's heart is on this issue. He simply doesn't hold hatred, disrespect or disdain for black people. Quite the contrary.

I think we'd all just feel a lot better if he had a good grasp on how to be a better ally.

And while we're waiting for that, I think we should put our money where our mouths are and learn more about these issues ourselves, both in China and locally at home. We want DD to be a better person; let's be better people too.

[lunar-years]

Okay. Let's talk Jamie and Roy getting beers and being idiots.

I know we are all still processing that whirlwind of a finale. I'm understanding that a lot of people hate the Roy & Jamie scene because it is 1) backslide-y (true) 2) they treat Keeley like a prize to be won (true) and 3) it's OOC (I actually disagree with this one, but I can understand why it's complicated). I want to start off by saying I completely see where this opinion is coming from and I respect everyone who just hates the scene because it shows normally kind characters being very unkind to each other etc. This is less me arguing against that as it is me trying to articulate (at great length, sorry) why it not only worked for me, but I genuinely liked it.

I like to think I strike a balance between loving everything the show has done and hating overwhelmingly on a show I claim to enjoy, but sure, you could definitely argue that I'm just giving my favorite characters the benefit of the doubt, or making excuses for them, because they're my favorite characters. I'll admit I'm historically very forgiving of all the main characters' many fuck-ups on Ted Lasso, but that's because I think the show works best when it emphasizes how kindness, forgiveness, friendship and love can still operate between imperfect, flawed people. I like seeing them make realistic mistakes much more than I like everyone handling everything perfectly, I'll bite.

So, back to Jamie and Roy. I enjoyed their finale plot because despite them making a world of mistakes, the regression felt very, very human. I don't agree at all with the take that this somehow erased all the progress they've made this season or the friendship the show has lovingly crafted between them. In fact, I think this actively reiterated it! (Note: I am operating with my ot3 goggles on at all times, so I'm going to write this with that at least partially in mind, but I think the gist of it works even if you ignore the bits that get a little shippy.)

For both Jamie and Roy, Keeley and their love for her is a major beacon guiding them. I think that is the crisp, clear thing in both of their heads this episode: Keeley is the love of my life. And they both believe that wholeheartedly, and they both want to be with her. (and it's goofy to pretend this came out of nowhere for Jamie/since when is Jamie still in love with her/etc. because he literally told her and us this last season and nothing that has happened since has indicated otherwise, btw.) But there's also something else now, which is their relationship with each other, battling with their Keeley thoughts. It's like, in Roy's head, for instance, I imagine there are two wolves: on the one hand he loves Keeley, and wants to be with her, and plans to win back her heart. On the other hand, there's his love and care for Jamie Tartt, which is much less defined and inarticulate and maybe still a little repressed, but just as overpowering. His love for Keeley feels so simple and clear in comparison, while his love for Jamie is something complicated and unsure, and in this episode, he's leaning hard into the first to avoid unpacking the second.

So Roy starts off strong. He sees Jamie with Keeley in the hallway and he doesn't flip out!! Instead, he approaches Jamie calmly, and invites him out for beers. Think about how different this is from his reaction to Jamie's love confession to Keeley in season 2. This is Roy's growth in action, and it's a resounding sign of just how important Jamie is to Roy now. Even when he is feeling jealous of the woman he loves potentially leaving him behind for a man he loves (a completely natural reaction, let's be so real, if not a "good" one), he also knows that for as much as he wants to be with Keeley, he doesn't want to lose his friendship with Jamie.

As for Jamie, I know some people took his reaction and subsequent response to Nate's question as like, shock at the realization that he and Roy are actually friends now, which I agree is something that had to have come earlier in the timeline (what was Mom City if not that) and would seem very out of place at this point. What I saw it as instead was Jamie's brain more just. sort of short-circuiting? Because: holy shit isn't this the best day ever? First Keeley agreed to go to Brazil with me and now Roy is asking me on a date for beers? this is so sound. This invite is out of place behavior from Roy even within the parameters of their friendship, because they still have a match to win and Roy has banned Jamie from beers as part of his training and despite them being close now I find it hard to believe that Roy often comes up to him right there in dressing room to ask him to grab a beer with no pretense.

Therefore, they're already walking into that bar in completely different head-spaces. Jamie isn't planning to discuss Keeley, and for Roy that is his major intention behind the evening. Jamie is nervous and downing his beer, and Roy is internally panicking, I'm imagining, over when and how to bring Keeley up. I think Roy is thinking: Well, I don't intend to stop pursuing Keeley, I genuinely don't want Jamie's feelings to be hurt when I get back together with her (and yes, it is a huge presumption for him to assume Keeley's going to eventually take him back. But I think it's also an understandable one), so I've got to tell Jamie I care about him, and that I'm going to keep going after Keeley, and he needs to be okay with that so that this won't get in the way of our friendship, which I also desperately need and am unwilling to give up. In his mind, Jamie is of course going to accept all of this, because Roy and Keeley are soulmates, which Jamie will clearly recognize deep down because it is so obvious and right and anyway, Jamie always does what Roy tells him to do (again, this is all misguided thinking. But we can see how Roy's anxious little brain that's bad at processing feelings and holding space for emotions could get himself here, can't we?).

So again, we start off strong with Roy saying he's proud of Jamie and them both thanking one another. But then Roy's blurting out nonsense about how Jamie just needs to pull himself out of the running and just let Roy be with Keeley. Which is obviously not on. And Jamie responds, simply, with No. I'd argue this is also a huge step for Jamie. Jamie really doesn't tell Roy no anymore, he doesn't tell anyone no. Jamie has spent so much of his time since coming back to Richmond working to be the person everyone around him wants and expects him to be. This is him fighting for something he wants for once, doing what is best for him. It was a fabulous progression to see. In the moment, boy does it work Roy up, because why is Jamie not agreeing with me, Jamie always agrees with me? but obviously at this point, Jamie is in the right. His relationship with Keeley was no less meaningful than Roy's just because Roy says it was, Roy doesn't have any claim on her, and there's no real reason Jamie should not try and shoot his shot with Keeley if Roy is going to do the same.

Here's where things start to spiral. Established flaws we know about Roy: he's competitive. He's bad at voicing his feelings productively. And he is territorial about the people he loves, a category that safely includes both Jamie and Keeley at this point in time, for better and sometimes worse. Yes, his next actions are grossly possessive over Keeley, yes Roy has made a lot of effort over the past year to do and be better than that, to break free of that cycle. But look, it's not a linear process. He's going to still mess up, and he does here. In fact he's downright mean, weaponizing Keeley against Jamie and throwing having sex with Keeley a month ago into Jamie's face, bragging about it, boasting. Same old cycle, same old patterns of ego-driven, prideful mistakes.

Which promptly prompts Jamie to also fuck up by bringing up the leak. It's a concentrated response intended to get a suitable rise out of Roy, because Roy has really, genuinely hurt him here, and Jamie knows bringing up that video is the one thing that will hurt Roy just as much in turn. It's not the right thing to do, obviously, but again, it's such a human thing to do. Hurt the person who's hurt you right back, even if you're hurting someone else (Keeley) by extension. Mind you, Jamie came here expecting a hangout (/date) with Roy over a rare beer, and instead he got Roy being a complete asshole and lecturing nonsense at him out of seemingly nowhere. He reacts to this change-up, well, not greatly. There is something so messy and emotionally complicated happening here and it hinges on how very much Jamie and Roy care about each other, not negates it.

Keeley, queen that she is, rejects them both out of hand and kicks them out not the curb immediately because they're both being complete idiots, acting like they're so gracious in giving her the honor and privilege of choosing between them. Not to mention they've clearly got something going on between them they haven't worked through and that sure as shit isn't her problem, is it? Keeley (presumably, and I wish we had seen this) calls them out their shit and tosses them right back out the door.

Which leaves Jamie and Roy to lament how they've let their egos get away from them, they've been idiots (which they acknowledge immediately) and decide that now they should go for kebabs, presumably to actually hangout this time, not to interrupt themselves with inflated talk about who "deserves" Keeley more. They both screwed up, they acknowledge it, and all they can do is try again tomorrow, and in the meantime, go on that kebab date.

I guess....I can just see where both of them are coming from? it's not mature behavior, obviously, it's maybe not what we would have liked to have seen from them in the finale episode of the show. But it was regression that I didn't feel impeded their overall progress. Roy in particular was being a complete dick about it, but that's why the very next morning he's finally knocking on the Diamond Dogs' door. And honestly, that conversation was heartbreaking. When Roy admitted he'd expected, after a year of putting in the work, to be a whole new person...god. This is a man who still completely hates himself, to the point where he can't quite grasp that he can be better where he's at now, that he doesn't have to transform magically into someone new in order to do right by himself and others. And so he has to consciously determine, once again, to do better, be better.

The message is: change isn't linear, you're going to fuck-up, and fall back into old patterns. What matters is trying every day to do better together, and be better for one another, than you were the day before. That is the meeting point all three sides of the royjamiekeeley triangle were heading towards by the end of the episode.

So yes, it was rushed, because no one gets much screen time in a finale (and the overarching issue with this season anyway is god awful pacing. The last three episodes could've easily been the second half of the season, while the first half of the season was stretched out and largely extraneous). And yes, I would've liked a more thoughtful follow-up conversation between Roy and Keeley or all three of them. My biggest issue was that we didn't get to hear Keeley's voice hardly at all. I would at the very least have liked to have seen her setting them straight at her kitchen table, because turning both of them down signifies very important growth in her, too, and I would've liked exploring that more explicitly. So it wasn't perfect. But I still liked it, I really did.

[bakugoushotwife]

Hiiiiii coming to ask for some serotonin

Please a modern one with megumi and his s/o having a tense slightly smexy moment on a hang out with the group in a restaurant or something and his s/o being a bit funny under the table if you get what I mean heh quite the fluff one with the good old you decided it heh 😆

Broaden Your Horizons // Megumi Fushiguro x fem!reader

a/n: yeehaw this was fun!! i kinda latched onto a whole thing here with songs and the jukebox, and it was a little angstier than i intended but nothing too serious. anyway, let me know if you hate it and i'll try again lol

cw: MINORS DNI. MATURE AND EXPLICIT CONTENT. 69 oral (M + F receiving), penetrative vaginal sex, reader is fem, rough, creampie, maybe a slight foot fetish thing kinda but not really you'll see, car sex, doggy, some exhibitionism i suppose

wc: 5037

You were really starting to piss him off. He was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, you did drink a lot tonight. But he cut you off hours ago, so you were either pathetic with your liquor or you were trying to aggravate him. He’s been watching you hang all over one of your shared best friends, Yuji Itadori, all night long. It was a party for Itadori’s 23rd birthday, so he guesses it wasn’t completely out of line for you to give him some extra attention, but that hardly warrants the body shots and the dancing or the cup pong tournament. 

Normally, he was very secure in your relationship. He didn’t feel the need to flaunt you and he wasn’t comfortable with public affection. He knows you love him, right? I mean, sure it stings whenever people react with shock when you say that he’s your boyfriend, and maybe it bothers him that you make that same pouty face every time he turns you down for dancing or cup pong, because he knows he’s letting you down. Sometimes he wishes he could be more spontaneous and loose like the rest of his friends. Maybe if he was, his girlfriend wouldn’t grind on the birthday boy all night long and continue laying all over him and giggling in the Waffle House at 2AM.

He stared daggers at you. Surely, eventually, you would feel his death glare and cut it out. He even thought about returning the favor with Nobara, but he would feel too guilty knowingly manipulating your feelings. The booth was tight, and he hated that. You were practically sitting in Yuji’s lap and he was fuming. He’s finally reached his limit, extending his long legs to kick your shoe under the table. 

Your stupid giggling with Yuji stops. “Ow! Babe-uh!” You pout. “What was that for?” 

He’s actually going to explode. Yuji pouts too and asks if you’re okay. You nod and continue staring at your boyfriend. Your pout was immaculate, he has to give you that. Your pretty eyes are droopy and looking up at him like an abandoned puppy, sweet kissable lips puckered just to taunt him. The bright lights of the Waffle House serve as your drunken halo, and unfortunately you do look angelic. Megumi deflates, he can’t give you the silent treatment but he didn’t exactly want to admit his insecurities in front of the guy that was causing most of them. The trashy diner was tiny anyway, the other drunkards and addicts would listen in on the drama. So he just glances at your hands and then pointedly at Itadori. 

You get the message. Initially, you smirk. You find it funny that he’s so bothered by Itadori. Surely he knows you could never be with anyone but him, much less his best friend. But then you see the seriousness on his face, and you recall your attachedness to Itadori’s hip tonight. It was his birthday! You were only trying to party with your friends. Plus, you had asked Megumi to dance with you. He always turned red and turned his nose up at the offer. He wasn’t one for cup pong either, and you wouldn’t dare ask him to take a shot off you, he could hardly hold your hand in public. You’re sure you would hate to see Megumi do any of those things with anyone else…but it hurt that he wouldn’t do it with you either. He refused to leave his comfort zone, so maybe you just had to keep pushing him. 

You put your shoe over his in an effort to soothe him, giving Yuji less enthusiastic replies than before. This does improve Megumi’s attitude, though he can tell something’s still off with you. He looks around at his other two friends, casually scrolling on their phones while they wait for the food to come to the table. So he pulls out his phone and taps the ‘mrs.’ contact. 

“what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” You reply seconds later.

“don’t be that way angel :(“

“Ur mad at me for doing things i would prefer to do with you..it just sucks i guess, you won’t broaden ur horizons but that means i can’t have fun either.”

He clenches his jaw when he reads your text. You were right, as much as it sucked to say. He can’t expect you to sit in the corner people-watching all night long. Part of the reason he loves you so much is because of your adventurous spirit, you’re willing to try anything once and you never have any fear. It embarrasses him and he’s stubborn. Instead of admitting his faults, he doubles down on yours. 

“so you throw your ass on itadori to have fun?”

“Wow…you’re impossible sometimes, Megu. It’s harmless dancing.”

“why not dance with nobara instead?”

“I did, all three of us danced together. It’s his birthday, everyone was trying to give him a good time.”

“rest assured, i’m sure he had a wonderful time with you all over him.”

“Are you being real right now? He’s my friend too. I thought you trusted me. I thought you know how much I love you. You’re the one who shuts down at these kinds of things.” 

“yeah well if you’re so miserable you can keep itadori.”

“Fine.” You pull your shoe off of his under the table. 

He sighs. He knows he’s being unreasonable. Your hands shake as you put your phone down to start eating after the server comes to the table, putting that fight on pause. You couldn’t believe he was that worked up. He hadn’t ever been the jealous type, and you definitely thought he would understand you teaming up with your other friends for an ultimate birthday party experience. Did he really want to break up over something like this, or was he just upset? You love him more than anything and it seems like two of you have been together forever. Did he really doubt you this badly?

You were praying for something else to think about, the only sound was the buzzing of the dingy light bulbs and the scrapes of silverware against ceramic plates. You nearly sigh in relief when someone drops some coins into the jukebox, playing ‘Swim’ by Chase Atlantic. 

Megumi notices the way you keep your eyes down on your plate, gently swaying subconsciously to the music. He regrets what he said. He regretted it the moment he pressed send, and he didn’t even have the fortune of blaming alcohol for his poor decisions. So he reaches out under the table again, gently tucking his shoe on the outside of yours. He watches you for a reaction, satisfied when your eyes meet his. He smiles shyly. You tighten your lips, showing your agitation. 

He pulls out his phone again. “i’m sorry..i just hated watching you move like that on someone else, you’re right, i’m lame and a coward and i promise i will do everything you ask me to next time we party…plz forgive.”

He thinks he’s really lost you when you pick up your phone to read the message and then put it back down. Really, you’re just thinking. You didn’t mean to make him feel lame or like you could ever be interested in someone else. At the end of the day, all you wanted was for him to try new things, and he said he would do that. Your hand slides to grab your phone again, to apologize back and accept his, but the song changes and catches your attention. 

“I don’t want a friend

I want my life in two

Waiting to get there

Waiting for you” 

You grin, the song a favorite of yours and Megumi’s. He was so romantic in private it was hard to believe, and you know that he loves you immensely. Normally this song pops up on your playlist during your intimate times and he always always always took the time to follow the lyrics. 

“When I’m around slow dancing in the dark

Don’t follow me you’ll end up in my arms

You done made up your mind

I don’t no more signs.”

You decide to slip your foot out of your heel completely, knowing you would have more accessibility this way. Megumi’s face turns pink as he recognizes the melody, his brain instantly going to the times spent in his dark bedroom, hugging your naked body close to his own while slowly swaying to the music. It was always goofy and sweet, both of your faces red from a heated makeout or bodies sweaty and gross from hours of being one. Yet he never hesitated to pull you out of bed to dance to this one, whispering the words in your ear. He yearned to do it now, but he didn’t even know if you were on speaking terms at the moment. He gasped when he felt your foot against his calf, covering up the noise with a non-subtle cough. He smirked at you a little, sliding down in the seat and spreading his legs a little more. He regretted not sitting next to you whenever you were falling over Itadori, but now maybe he didn’t mind so much. 

Though, it was getting harder to keep his composure as your foot slid higher, resting on the inside of his thigh. He could feel his cheeks grow warmer, and he kept side-eyeing Kugisaki and Yuji to make sure they were still distracted with their phone and food, respectively. He’s relieved that you’re not angry with him, and embarrassedly turned on by your flirty touches. He can feel the blood rush to his cock, and he knows he’s in trouble. The space is too tight, your friends are too close by—but he doesn’t mind. This is exactly the type of thing he needed to try. He just needed to get you out of here soon, or he’d end up trying a lot more in the Waffle House.

“Give me reasons we should be complete

You should be with him I can’t compete

You looked at me like I was someone else

Can’t you see?”

You smirk back at him, knowing if you moved your foot just to the left you would feel his growth. You wondered if he could handle such a bold move in public, so close to his other friends. You wanted so badly to push him out of that tiny comfort zone of his, and if you sensed a meltdown you could always back off. So you did, sliding your foot over his bulge and back again, biting your lip to keep from laughing at the way his eyes grow wider and his cheeks burn darker. 

You were so in for it, he was already wondering how he was going to make up for his jealousy while also punishing your brazenness. 

“Here’s the check, y’all have a good night now.” Your server hums politely as she sets down the bill. Fushiguro’s hands are on it instantly, and he doesn’t even care that they’ve put all four of you on the same tab. He digs in his wallet for the cash to cover it and more for her tip, hastily getting to his feet and extending his hand to you. 

“Let’s get going guys, it’s late!” He said with a nervous chuckle, clearing his throat right after. Nobara and Itadori looked at him with arched brows. You hummed and got to your feet, slinging your purse on your shoulder. Then you did an impressive fake yawn and stretch combination. 

“I could go to bed, that food really sobered me up ‘n I don’t wanna puke.” You sigh, and the others laugh and clap you on the shoulder as you move toward the exit. Megumi’s thankful for his choice of baggy sweats, just barely concealing why he’s in such a hurry tonight. 

Nobara and Itadori take the backseat, leaving the front for the loving couple. They’re still giggly and very tipsy. You’re moderately concerned about Itadori coming down with alcohol poisoning with all the shots he consumed tonight. Nonetheless, it’s easy to reach across the console and rest your hand as close to his clothed erection as you could. He sighs and adjusts his hips under your hand, making you smirk when his new positioning puts your hand over him. 

He’s not a reckless driver, especially with such precious cargo as his girlfriend and closest friends. However, his stomach was so tight and started to burn with anticipation. He wished Nobara lived closer, thankful that Yuji would sleep off his drunkenness at her place and he wouldn’t have to make two stops. However the drive was too long for his liking. You looked beautiful all night, like you usually did, and you drove him crazy putting all of that on his best friend. Oh, and when he watched Itadori lean over to take his shot of vodka out of your belly button, his fist tightened and he considered punching the man on his birthday. Then you’re gonna start messing with him in the restaurant, god he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with you, but he cannot wait any longer. 

“Have a good night guys! Drink lots of water!” You call after the tipsy pair, helping each other up the steps and through the door of Kugisaki’s residence. You giggle to yourself, sighing happily as Megumi wordlessly puts the car back into drive and heads toward your shared apartment. 

“Y’know, I really am sorry about tonight…” You say softly, letting your head roll on the headrest so you could admire his side profile. He hadn’t really aged much, though his features had always been mature looking, sharp jaw, sharp cheekbones, and a perfectly angular nose. His eyelashes were long and dark; the green of his eyes absorbing all the shine from the headlights as he drove along. 

He turned his head to peek at you momentarily. Surely you could feel the fact he wasn’t upset anymore, though he had a certain…payback in mind for your behavior tonight. “It’s okay, you’re gonna make it up to me.” He said smugly, pulling the suv onto the shoulder of the busy highway. 

Your eyes widened, convinced he was bluffing. Your heartbeat quickened at the thought of such a risky act, in a good way. You would try anything once after all, but you knew your logical and responsible boyfriend would probably change his mind. You hear him put the car in park, you hear his seat belt unbuckle, and the sound of the radio dial going up. A guitar is being plucked quickly, and you recognize the song from your normal sex playlist. He wasn’t faltering yet. 

“I summoned you, please come to me

Don’t bury thoughts that you really want

I fill you up, drink from my cup

Within me lies what you really want

Come, lay me down”

You turn to look at him, your surprise still pretty evident. He chuckles at this, it was pretty rare to see you looking shocked, especially by something he did. He was determined to not let that be the last time tonight that he saw it. He still seems smug, maybe overcome with a certain need to prove himself worthy of you, to be daring and push himself past his limits. It’s something he’s always struggled with, but the adrenaline swirling through his body was rewarding, he must admit. He leaned over and unbuckled your seatbelt as well, resting his elbow on the console when he was finished. You watched him do this curiously, but he didn’t leave you wondering for too long. He grabbed your jaw and made you look up into his eyes, they were almost black with how big his pupils had grown and the intensity of them as they skirted over your face made you tremble. He smashed his lips on yours. 

“ ‘Cause you know this

“Cause you know this sound

In the middle of the night

In the middle of the night

Just call my name, I’m yours to tame

In the middle of the night

In the middle of the night

I’m wide awake, I crave your taste

All night long, ‘til morning comes

I’m getting what is mine

You gon’ get yours”

You close your eyes, one hand reaching up to rest on his jaw and the other moving to his bicep as the kiss grew in ferocity. He tilts his head to the side to get more of your essence, deciding to sloppily shove his fat tongue in your mouth. He always tasted so good, like peppermint, you loved it, moaning as you sucked on the appendage lewdly. His eyes rollback a little, he loves watching you do that shit. He grunts, needing more of you and quickly, it was starting to hurt. All too quickly, he lets go of you. He sits back up in his seat, making you pout and whine at the loss of his touch. He chuckles at you, cute little lips glistening with a layer of his saliva. 

“Patience is a virtue, angel.” He hums, sliding the seat back as far as it will go before he’s leaning back over to pull you by your waist onto his lap, making you gasp at his length poking your middle once your thighs are straddling him. His hands slide possessively down to your hips, pulling you down on him, shamelessly grinding into you. Once you start returning the favor, he lets his long fingers slip under your shirt, peeling it off seamlessly. Then he’s grabbing the back of your neck to force another sloppy kiss. You smile against his mouth, your own hands tangled in his hair while your hips rocked steadily against his own. Maybe he wouldn’t grind with you in public, but you’d much rather have this private show all to yourself anyway. 

“These burning flames, these crashing waves

 Wash over me like a hurricane

I captivate, you’re hypnotized

Feel powerful, but it’s me again”

He’s indecisive with his hands, constantly moving them from cupping your cheeks to sliding down your curves and groping your chest. His neediness is clear, the pink on his cheeks and his half-lidded eyes tell you everything. You gasp for air, smiling down at him. He thinks you’re so gorgeous like this. No matter how you danced in front of others, only he got to see your swollen lips and the messy hair he gave you. Only he gets to see your hardened nipples under his fingers and the face you make when he pinches them. He grins as the song changes, leaning back to remove his own shirt for you after your constant tugging on it. 

“Climb on board

We’ll go slow and high tempo

Light and Dark 

Hold me hard and mellow

I’m seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure

Nobody but you, ‘body but me

“Body but us, bodies together”

“I love you Megu.” You coo, sneakily dodging his lips in favor of placing yours all over his jawline, humming sweetly as you start down his neck. You know every sweet spot, where to bite and nibble and where to suck and place gentle kisses. He whimpers every time, and it’s a sound so sweet you can feel your panties dampen uncomfortably against your pussy, grinding against your own wetness with every collision of hips. He squeezes hard at your ass, kneading the fat in his hands like a stress toy. 

“Love you too baby girl..wanna get in the back?” He asks hopefully, extending his right arm to fold your passenger seat over so you each could easily slip into the spacious back, where the seats had already been conveniently folded down thanks to the useful button on the dash. 

You nod eagerly, sliding off of him and crawling on the back of his seats, towards the trunk to give him the most room. You slide out of your jeans and underwear for your own sake, the mess of yourself too much to bear. You watch him as he gets an idea, his normally neutral expression gleaming with mischief as he looks at you so prettily sitting on your knees. 

“I love to hold you close, tonight and always

I love to wake up next to you

I love to hold you close, tonight and always

I love to wake up next to you

So we’ll piss off the neighbors

In the place that feels the tears

The place to lose your fears

Yeah, reckless behavior 

A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw

In the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day

Fuckin in and fighting on 

It’s our paradise and it’s our warzone” 

He slides back to join you, sitting on the very edge of the seats and hastily taking off his sweatpants. He then lies flat on his back, scooting back and positioning himself right beneath your weeping pussy. You gasp at his move, giggling shortly after. He was full of surprises after all. You could hear other cars pass at high speeds, making your blood rush at the thrill of it all. His windows were tinted and it was 3AM, so there wasn’t much to worry about. His big hands grab what they can of your thighs, plunging your core on his waiting mouth. 

You moan out immediately at the sensation. He knows all of your spots too, licking up your arousal like it was the only thing keeping him alive before he sucked harshly on your clit. Your stomach lurches immediately, and you have to brace yourself on his chest, high pitched whimpers pairing with the next song on the playlist beautifully. 

“Sex ain’t the only thing that’s on my mind

But you get me so excited

Woah-oh-oh-oh

Irreplaceable, tattoos from your neck that drop down to your ankle

Drop top in the Range, shawty you wanna feel good

I wanna feel good too

Don’t I make you feel good?

You get me so excited

Shawty wanna roll with a rockstar”

He loves the taste of you, his favorite flavor in the world. You’re always so sweet, he thinks, like honey or candy of some kind. He didn’t consume any alcohol tonight so he allows himself to get drunk on you instead, teeth slightly nibbling on your sensitive bud before he resumes his lewd slurps of your center, plunging his tongue inside your tight hole. He groans in a mix of pleasure and surprise when he feels your hand wrap around his length. You couldn’t just keep staring at it, his painfully hard dick with an angry red tip weeping pre from the slit. His balls were so tight, too. You knew he needed some kind of relief, he just wasn’t really the type to ask. So you lean over him slightly, still whining intermittently at the sensation of your boyfriend eating you out like this, so ravenous in nature. You grab his pretty length in your small hand, just enjoying the weight of him. He was perfectly trimmed for your convenience and his cock was the best you’ve ever seen. Cute veins running all over his shaft, a mix of purple and blue that add extra sensation to him inside you. All this led to his fat and needy tip. You slap it on your tongue a few times, giggling at the pauses in his movements as you did so. 

“Baby let’s go we can go far

Yeah, watch the stars

And go far

Shawty your body is so exciting 

I love when you get on top and you ride it

Only in your ocean, you call me Poseidon

In control of your water, you loving my trident.”

You take all of him down your throat, loving the way he speeds up in competition with you, wanting to make you feel even better. You hum, the vibrations giving him goosebumps. You wiggle your head a little to try and push his length a little further, but you gag and you can feel the tears prickle your eyes. You come back up for air for a second, sniffling and repeating your actions, slamming him to the back of your throat and bobbing along what you can swallow up. Your hand aids you in the rest, and you can feel your hips getting sloppier in their movements, the coil in your stomach burning and cracking. He’s truly relentless, fucking into your mouth without care. He continues his assault on your pussy, flicking his tongue in just the right way to make you snap. Your cry is muffled on his dick, but the way your hips stutter and your weight falls around him, he knows you’ve come. 

He knows he’ll do the same if he lets you do this much longer, making those cute noises and taking him so well. So he gently pushes your hips up so that you let him change the position.You’re compliant as always, your body is hard to resist even as he moves you gently out of his way. He smirks up at you again, petting your wild hair down as he gets back up to sitting on his own knees. He opens the door. 

“Get out and bend over the seat for me.” He says, eyes glowing with that mischievousness you noticed earlier. He really was being bold. 

You were still panting from the violent orgasm, looking up at him in disbelief. There’s that face he was hoping to see again. 

“What? I’m trying to broaden my horizons. It’s dark and there’s hardly anyone on the roads right now, beloved.” He coaxes you convincingly, extending his hand to help you step onto the street and everything. Plus, he knows the open door will serve as extra coverage. He just couldn’t let you walk around thinking he was lame or dull. He just could not get all the way back to your place after you’ve been taunting him all night long, no. No. You were going to get exactly what you wanted. 

So you take his hand and step onto the grass, nothing but the treeline behind you. You could still hear the occasional car cruise by the drivers side, but you knew they couldn’t see. He gives you another needy kiss when your face passes by his own, surprisingly excited by the prospect of fucking his girlfriend on the side of the highway. He smiles against your lips this time, his hand sliding down your back and the other on your hip. He gently turns you around with this grip, hand sliding all the way back up your spine, leaning palm laying flat in between your shoulder blades. He could never quite pick a favorite position with you, you always felt and looked amazing no matter which way he had you, but he nearly shudders at the way your hot skin feels beneath his fingers. You arch your back so perfectly for him and the moon shines on your ass like a spotlight. He can’t help but palm it and gently slap, making you squeal and giggle from inside the car. 

“Work it out, up and down 

Sweat it out, make up sex

Twerk it out, up and down

Sweat it out, make up sex

I’m tired, you’re wired

Why fight? 

It’s just the same thing

Tonight is my final love battle

Cause girl I’m hungover

Let’s just start over 

Gotta be more to love than this

We should be naughty, connect our bodies

You know I’m on it, I’m on my knee”

The cool night air slightly relieves Megumi’s searing skin, but he knows the only thing that can help is you. He pulls you to him, positioning you exactly where he needs you. You spread your legs wider to be compliant, and he rewards you with his length prodding against your gummy spot in one plunging move. You cry out and start struggling to hold yourself up already, nothing to grab onto other than the seats of his suv. 

God he wishes you knew what that did to him. Other than the noticeable twitch of his dick, he can only growl his satisfaction. “Look at you, taking it all at once, angel.” He remarks, and you can hear the smirk in his deep voice. 

If this were any other time, you would throw something snarky back, but he is in complete control of you. You couldn’t speak if you tried, the assault on your womb beginning right after his taunt. He’s not gentle or sweet tonight, but you don’t mind at all. His hands grip your hips tightly, pulling you down his shaft just as hard as he was shoving in. You can’t quiet yourself, screaming shamelessly and writhing in his hold. He can feel you clench down on him, and he knows you're close to cumming for him again. 

“That’s my girl, go ahead and give me another one. Show me how much you love me.” He commands, voice low and breathy. It was hard to stay strong with you bouncing on his cock like this, sucking him into choking walls and screaming his name like it was the only word you know. 

You let out a strangled moan, following his orders to a tee. Your knees buckled and he had to support you with the hold he had on your hips, but he felt the rush of warmth and heard the increased lubrication start to squeak and squelch between you. He shuddered, you absolutely were the death of him, your whines of sensitivity making him lightheaded. His balls ached once more before he emptied them into you, moaning brokenly at the way you felt with all of his seed coating your walls. You squeezed down on him again, humming in satisfaction. You were nearly delirious, feeling an entirely different kind of drunk. You lay against the fabric of the seat, shivering when he withdraws from you. He tugs his sweatpants on, using his underwear in an attempt to wipe you up as his load seeps down your legs. He’s satiated by the sight. He crouches down to clean you, giving you his praises as he does so. 

“Did perfect, lover. I hope you had a good time.” He says, getting back to his feet and helping you back into your clothes. You nod sleepily. It was nearing 4AM at this point and what energy you had left was consumed by this romp. 

He kisses your forehead and smiles, opening your passenger side door and closing it once you are comfortably inside. His hand is on your thigh for the drive home, the touch light and loving in contrast to his earlier possessive dominance.

He hopes he got his message across. You are all his, as always, and he’ll do whatever it takes to prove that every single time. 

[heavenlymorals]

In Defense of Bill Williamson: A Curious Case Of Hear Me OUT-

Warning: this post contains mentions of rape, homophobia, and period typical attitudes.

The first time I played RDR2, I was very curious and went into Sonny's cabin. If you know, you know.

I was horrified over learning what happened to Arthur and the shock of it all was impalpable. The fact that Rockstar put in such an encounter was diabolical, but either way, it happened, and I was pissed and heartbroken for Arthur. Out of all the encounters that happened in this game, all the awful encounters, this is the only one that did not get a journal entry- mostly likely due to the trauma of getting raped and the shame of it as well- let us not forget that Arthur is a man, a very tough and burly man, living in 1899 America. The likelihood that there would be any support for him is nigh on none.

I fed Sonny to the alligators (obviously) later and more or less forgot about it because I avenged my Arthur.

Then Bill came along.

"I met a guy at the swamp who seemed to know a lot about you. I mean A LOT about you…"

I was pissed and it was the first time in the game that I heard pure, unadulterated hatred in Arthur's voice as he more or less growled at Bill to go away. From then on, I always antagonized Bill for seemingly mocking Arthur like that for getting raped.

But then I played again and again and played Red Dead 1 too and learned that Bill is gay. Even though it isn't said outright, it is implied so heavily that it would be laughable to suggest that he liked women.

So after a while, my reaction to Bill's words changed. I pity him now.

Now I know what you are thinking- Heytham, how the hell can you pity a man who mocked a fucking rape victim?

Because I don't think Bill thought Arthur was raped.

Here is how I came to this conclusion (feel free to disagree with me, but here is how I came to this conclusion):

Being a homosexual in the 1800s was a very isolating and daunting experience, with the threat of jail time and even death. Society was super judgemental and cruel to people who did not fit into what was expected of them, so being a homosexual would feel like hell on Earth because there wasn't a real way to express this attraction beyond longing and secrecy, which would make finding other gay people hard to do.

Beyond just isolation, homosexual actions can ruin careers, which we can assume is one of the reasons that Bill got dishonorably discharged ("deviancy") alongside attempted murder. Crazy to think that "deviancy" is on the same level of attempted murder and was probably shamed more, but that is neither here nor there.

Even the gang wasn't really accepting of Bill's sexuality, which speaks a lot about the gang's supposedly "progressive politics", as they aren't really politically progressive and more so idealistic in the romantic standards of 1800s America. In terms of Bill's sexuality, it felt more like a outta sight, outta mind sort of deal. Bill is the butt of jokes and his sexuality is too ("Is he gonna kiss that guy or punch him", "Bill and Phil", "He likes to do a lot of things with men on their knees (RDR1- John says it to purposely shame Bill more to the people he works with)")).

When his sexuality seems to be a bit more upfront, there is agression and disgust. The biggest example of this is Arthur's reaction to Bill wanting hair pomade. He sounds disgusted and mean and the sneer in his "Yeah, I'll get you your hair pomade…" is very telling that Arthur thinks that Bill is asking him for pomade for gay sex because of the way he reacts to it- he already has a disposition to thinking this is why Bill wants the pomade and it disgusts him, even though he does it anyways.

To give Arthur the benefit of the doubt, I'd be pretty weirded out if someone asked me for lube, but Arthur didn't know if that is what Bill actually wants. He could very well just need it for a job that requires him to look nice, which happens in the ball mission. The point is that he had a disposition and that disposition made him react in not only a bewildered way but a disgusted way. Im serious, just listen to that interaction- I don't think I am reaching.

In any case, it is quite obvious that Bill feels isolated and that isolation makes him awkward and aggressive around men that he does like (Kieran) and overall just angry at the world because of it, amongst other things. He has no one to talk to, no one to relate to, and he is shunned and despaired over something he cannot control.

So then Bill meets Sonny and whatever the hell they did together, Sonny talks about Arthur, and let us be real, what is the likelihood that he would flat out tell Bill that he raped Arthur? Low, I'd think. Most likely, he would just say that the two of them had sex.

Now think about this- Bill has mostly likely lived his entire life hiding his sexuality and only expressing it in secret because if he does otherwise, he will be punished in some form or another. But now he learns that another man in camp, the fucking enforcer of all people, has apparently went to this man for sex.

Do you realize what this means for a gay person? Especially a gay person who lives in a society that actively discourages and punishes same-sex relations? It doesn't necessarily mean that that person would try to drum up a relationship, but there is comfort in the fact that now you know another person who is experiencing the same thing you are- the solidarity in that is priceless. I would know, I come from a culture that still kills gay people.

When Bill comes up to Athur, he genuinely sound giddy, like he found a big secret. There wasn't really any malice in his voice, other than a "haha, guess what I just found out" sort of tone.

When Arthur tells him to get out of there, he didn't seem offended. He didn't seem annoyed or aggressive, which is unusual for Bill. He just puts his hands up in surrender and goes off, almost as if he was saying "hey, I get it man," in the sense that a man during this time period, especially a man like Arthur, wouldn't want to be found out as gay. Internalized homophobia was definietly rampant.

He genuinely doesn't seem to have malice in that tone- Bill only talks like that when he is either excited or happy or acting like a human being. And at this point in the game, Bill still respected Arthur, so I doubt he would want to step on his toes, especially in a way like that.

If I am not talking out of my ass, this could be such a great moment of character development for Bill- sympathy for another man supposedly like him in the world that they lived in. Fucking Bill having sympathy and empathy- who would've thought.

Or he could be mocking Arthur for being a rape victim because Bill is genuinely a piece of shit.

But on the off chance that he does not? What an interesting microcosm of LGBTQ+ dynamics in 1899 America.

In any case, FUCK SONNY AND DONT GET INVITED INTO HOUSES IN THE SWAMPS-

[just-jordie-things]

Hi!!! Love your writings!!! Can I request prompt 5 with Megumi?! I'm a sucker for angry confessions!! ❤️😍

5: Angry Kiss ___

you weren't sure what you'd done wrong, or what you'd done at all to deserve the cold shoulder from the boy you'd previously considered your best friend. but for the last few weeks, he'd been completely avoiding you.

at first you figured he was just busy, and it hadn't been personal. you do lead crazy lives, always being pulled in one direction or another. so you give him the benefit of the doubt, and some space for good measure.

but soon you began to notice that if you were to cross paths, he turns and heads in the complete opposite direction. when gojo asks you all to partner up for a lesson, he's grabbing yuuji by the arm and dragging him off. and during lunch breaks where the four of you usually sat and ate together, he's nowhere to be seen.

after two weeks of this, you start to take it personal.

when you ask nobara why he's avoiding you, she shrugs and says that she can't think of a reason, but that he wouldn't confide in her for such a thing anyways. you figure she's probably right, and your next mission is to track down yuuji to interrogate him.

when you catch him in hall and wave him down, he seems to figure you out straight away, and you can see it in the panic in his face before he ducks out the front doors and out of sight.

you gasp at his audacity, but race after him anyways.

"yuuji!" you screech, slamming the doors behind you and chasing him down the front steps. "why are you running away from me!?"

"i don't know!" he screams back, and you know once he gets to the bottom of the stairs you won't be able to outrun him, so you have to make a choice.

"if you don't know then stop running!" you holler, and just as he's about to step onto the grass and make a break for it across the lawn, you're leaping off the steps, lunging at his back, and sending you both to the ground.

yuuji screams in anguish, as though a wild beast has captured him and now he's going to be met with a grim fate.

having you pin him by his shoulders and get in his face is rather terrifying. he might prefer the wild beast.

"why is megumi dodging me!?" you interrogate him. "i know you know! so tell me! what have i done?"

"nothing! i don't know!"

"nothing? or you don't know?" you raise a brow at his mixed answers.

"uh- it's not- i don't know! can you let me up now?"

"are you going to run?" you narrow your eyes.

"probably"

"then no!" you argue. "tell me what i did to upset megumi and then i'll let you go!"

"you didn't do anything!" he shouts, struggling against your hold.

he breaks free after catching you off guard with his answer, your hold loosening enough that he's able to scramble out from under you, dusting off his pants as he stands. slowly, you stand as well, relieved that he's not running away from you again.

"what?" you mumble, staring blankly at him. "what do you mean?"

"i mean exactly that," yuuji shrugs. "you didn't do anything. megumi's just being... weird"

"weird?" you repeat. "he's ghosting me like an asshole because he's being.... weird?"

"he's not trying to be an asshole" yuuji rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "but you know him..."

you scoff, shaking your head.

"this is ridiculous," you mutter, turning to head back inside. "here i was worried i'd done something to offend him, and i'm trying to make it right, but he's just- just avoiding me?"

"well i wouldn't say-"

"thanks yuuji," you huff, turning to make your way back into the building. "this has been... eye opening"

groaning, the pink haired boy runs his hands over his face. even without giving anything away, he feels he'd made a... massive mistake.

you're marching through the halls with purpose, and when you make it to megumi's door, your knocking is obnoxious.

this is confirmed when he slides it open with a sour face, which is quickly replaced by shock at seeing you.

"what are you-"

"what's wrong with you?" you cut him off before he can finish, and again, he's frowning. "and don't start lying because yuuji already told me i didn't do anything"

"wha-? do you mind? i was reading"

your brows furrowed and your jaw dropped open in shock. how dare he?

"i do mind!" you take him by surprise when you push his shoulders and let yourself into his room, determined to get to the bottom of this issue he seemed to have. "you're avoiding me and i demand to know why! i deserve that much don't you think?"

megumi sighs, and you're appalled that he has the audacity to act so irritated by you. and now in fact, he was the one irritating you.

"you don't think so?" you scoff, crossing your arms. "i'm sorry, last I checked you were my friend"

"did i say you weren't?" megumi grumbled through his irritation.

"you've most certainly implied it" you replied.

"okay well i didn't mean to!" he was quick to speak there, are we good?"

"no!" you exclaim with a humorless laugh. "no we're not good"

megumi raises his shoulders, silently asking what more you wanted from him, and at this point you just wanted to walk away from him, retreat to your room and cry.

but you refuse to give him such a victory.

"do you really not want to be around me anymore?"

"I didn't say that either," megumi ran a hand down his face, wishing he could hide behind it. wishing the ground would swallow him whole. "stop putting words in my mouth"

"then tell me!" you cry. "tell me what i've done to upset you this much"

"you're bothering me!" he yells back, not that he wants to yell at you, but you're raising your voice and he's growing annoyed and anxious.

you stare back at him with wide eyes, and he can see he hurts you, which of course was not his intention, but it only makes his anxiety fester and well he's not sure how to handle a single one of his emotions right now.

"i'm sorry (y/n) but i just need some space to- to-"

"fine," you shake your head before he can give you whatever half-assed excuse he was conjuring up. "whatever, megumi. just forget i even came here, alright?"

"no, wait," despite having said all the wrong things, megumi knows he can't let you leave, not like this, not when you're so hurt by him. "that didn't come out right- just mean that- i'm just trying to say i- sometimes i can't stand to be in a room with you"

well that didn't seem to be the right thing either, as your lips part in utter anguish.

"you can't stand me?" you ask, your voice finally dropping in volume, but much to his dismay, you're so quiet he fears it's because, once more, he's made it worse.

your eyes fill with tears and you're trying your best to keep them back, however his words were cutting deep, and you feared that your hurting heart would begin to be obvious.

"am i... am i suddenly so terrible?" you murmur, trying to think of what you could have done for him to treat you as such.

"terrible?" megumi repeats, his brows pinching into a furrow. "infuriating, sure," he nods his head to the side. "annoying, most definitely. irritating, dreadful, cruel- i could think of many other things to describe you, terrible doesn't cross my mind,"

it doesn't seem like he's making much progress, but he continues on anyways, as long as you'll listen.

"you're... you're distracting," he settles on the word that comes to the forefront of his mind. "you're the reason i'm falling behind, and if i fall behind i won't get a promotion and if i don't get a promotion- well, then what's the point of any of it?"

he's aggravated, that much as been made clear but you still don't understand what you've done to distract him from these things.

"you- you walk into a room and suddenly i can't focus!" megumi runs his hands through his hair. "and what's more fucked up is even if you're not there you somehow still are! it's like you can't leave my mind alone!"

you're stunned to silence, watching as megumi begins to nervously pace. you don't think you've ever seen him so worked up.

"you've- you've possessed me, somehow," he grumbles, more to himself than you at this point. "and I'm sorry that i had to leave you alone for awhile, but, well, you understand now I had no choice, right?"

you don't give him an answer, though you're not sure he was really looking for one anyways.

"do you..." you try to ask your question, but fear crawls up your throat as you dread his response. "do you... hate me?"

megumi stops his pacing, standing before you now with his eyes wide in surprise at how poorly you'd misunderstood him.

"hate you?" the words sound wrong in his mouth, as if they weren't even his language.

you nod, your brows drawing together and your throat tightening with the burning sensation of your tears. you don't really want to hear his answer, you're not sure you could bear it, but at the same time, you need to know.

megumi stares at you in utter loss, all of his confusion blending together and forming some sort of blind rage and irritation. was it wrong of him to direct it at you? perhaps in hindsight.

but now as he stares at you he doesn't know what the solution is. you're looking at him like he'd just stripped the night sky of all it's stars, and he can't bear it.

so he stops trying to wrap his mind around the right answer and instead lets instinct take over.

and instinct has him taking large strides towards you, until he's close enough that he can grab your face in his hands, lean down and smash his lips into yours.

you're surprised, to say the least. you remain still in his grasp, your eyes falling shut as soon as he's kissing you, and even after he's pulled away you're afraid to open them again. afraid that he'll begin to ramble on about things that don't make sense and pace his room like a madman.

although, you do start to understand what he had been trying to tell you, and when he pulls away, leaving you breathless, you let out a small chuckle.

"megumi..." you mumble, slowly opening your eyes and taking in the sight of him before you. he seems unsure, worried he'd done the wrong thing, and yet unbeknownst to him your heart is ablaze and your shoulders ease in your relief. "you have feelings for me?" you ask.

"i guess that's one way of putting it, yeah," he says with a small nod. "does that... bother you?"

you laugh again, and finally your limbs are working again as you lean into him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"it only completely irritates me," you tease with a coy grin. "but maybe next time... just speak from the heart?"

"i'll try my best" he tells you bashfully, before leaning in to meet you for another, gentler kiss.

[haechanskins]

Intoxic8 - Bang Chan and Changbin (pt.1)

☆ note: this is my first post and my first writing after some great years, hope you enjoy! i would really appreciate if you let a comment with your thoughts

☆ genre: smut, fluffy at the beginning, toxic at the end

☆ warnings: this will be kinda messy, be prepared; f!reader, smut, bondage, choking, teasing, friends with benefits (kinda fluffy), friends to enemies to lovers (toxic), degrading, angry sex, hatefuck, persecution and maybe more (?)

☆ wc: 3k

click here to see the pool. ☆

clique aqui para ler em português. ☆

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"You really don't change, huh? Trying to get attention with these tweets?!" A notification popped up on the screen; my expression of laughter turned into doubt. Changbin. Changbin has sent a DM. "Damn, get off my back!" I thought before responding.

Changbin was my best friend and confidant; he knew that when I posted things like today, it was because I was genuinely lonely or had a lot of built-up desire, and to be honest, it was both. Our feud began when he was dating, and his ex didn't like me, going so far as to threaten me. Changbin, driven by the emotions of his past relationship, grew suspicious of me and distanced himself. Now, a year after their tumultuous breakup, I see him faded and completely empty. Even with no more contact between us, Changbin insists on tormenting and offending me whenever he can. We're no longer friends, we're not rivals either; in fact, we're nothing. But I know he harbors an incessant hatred for me, and personally, with each passing day, it becomes disillusionment. The feeling I carry is that our friendship was once unbreakable and beautiful; today, I see that our separation was laden with disappointments and caused me to lose faith in the gentle figure Changbin portrayed to me.

"You're really craving me, and you don't know how to ask." I replied and blocked my phone; if he thinks he can test my patience this time, he's very wrong. "Why would I want you?" he questioned. I wondered if he really wanted to engage in this senseless debate. "Well, you criticized a silly tweet of mine. Either it's desire, or you really have too much free time!" My message was viewed, and that was it.

Days passed since our interaction, and I continued posting on social media as usual. A phrase passed through my timeline: "I have boobs... and you have hands... I think that we can do something with that information." A momentary burst of laughter escaped, retweet! Not even 15 minutes passed, and the notifications started:

"You should stop this."

"Preserve the image that people have of you."

"If there is any, actually." - Changbin said.

"You again? I must be very hot." I sent with disgust. What image should people have of me? What do I owe them to need to maintain a dignified image?

"Yes."

The immediate response was a shock; Changbin doesn't usually yield or agree easily—something was wrong. He's proud, never gives in, and no matter how close we were for years, that would never change; it never did.

"You only confirmed something I already knew!" I replied and tweeted, "Being hot is a burden..." and then, in less than seconds, Christopher Bahng, my closest friend, responded: "True... I'm coming over, leave the window open!"

He was definitely the best in the world, both in advice and in bed. I never had and doubt I'll ever have an oral as good as his. Details aside, Chris always came to my house; after all, he lived at the corner of my street, already knowing where the stairs were to climb up, so he didn't even need to notify me. My parents didn't like him much, as sweet as the guy was, they thought he was indecent and always asked when I would get close to Changbin again. That's the conflict, a conflict of interests. The Bahng family has a network of cosmetic products, just like mine, in which Changbin's parents have a partnership.

"Are these hands okay?" Chris asked, appearing at the window and waving them as he entered. The purple LED light in my room illuminated part of his face, making his eyes even brighter than usual. "Did you really come just to fuck me, Christopher?"

"Is there anything more important right now? Only if you want, you know I don't refuse anything for a hottie like you." he said, laughing and lying down beside me on the bed. I nestled in his arms and began to speak. "Changbin called me... just to annoy me, I guess. He could stop hating me; the real reasons never existed," my voice carried a tone of sadness, not that I really cared, but it hurt in a certain way. "What did he say, love?" he asked, turning my face slightly, and our eyes met. It was like my home; Chris was my home, about to be destroyed without us even knowing. I explained everything, and he could only say, "I always knew he had some kind of repressed love for you." with a laugh and holding my face. "Seriously, you should try to meet and talk... a friendship of years isn't thrown away because of an ex-relationship. Besides, him invading your space out of nowhere is at least a lack of awareness and respect!" he said calmly. "I love you so much," I said, hugging the boy who reciprocated saying "I love you even more!" and planted a kiss on my shoulder.

At that moment, my phone vibrates, and Chris's curious eyes search for the device on the bed. He laughs and asks, "Why am I a jerk?" and laughs even more at my confused face. "Because your ex-best friend won't stop messaging you, saying I'm a jerk?" My jaw drops; it's impossible to have reached this level. Ten messages in a row, Chris laughed and talked about how desperate Changbin was while my anger grew. "I'm going to reply." I said. "Give me the phone" I asked, taking a deep breath. As he ran his hand through his curls, he realized I wasn't happy. "Hey, don't do this. There's no need to waste your time." I remained silent as the dark-eyed gaze of the brunette conveyed a comforting feeling. "I'm not offended babe, the anger is his... it's not your fault if he doesn't think about the consequences of his actions!" Chris was right, but I needed to take it out on something before I thought about it even more.

"They're good." I whispered, watching Chris's eyebrows change expression in confusion. "These hands are good!" I said, taking one of his fingers to my mouth, with little time for reaction. Chris had already pulled me by the waist for a hungry and electrifying kiss; every touch of his made my body shiver entirely, and I yielded to his movements. I sat on his lap, and soon his hands went under the thin nightgown that covered my entire body, his hands roamed my almost bare back, and his moist lips touched my neck. Our heavy breaths filled the room's silence in an exciting way. "May I?" he asked, bringing his hands close to my breasts. "You must!" I replied impatiently; one of his hands remained there, massaging, and the other was on my nape holding my hair. I rarely took steps that led us forward during the act; Chris had all the initiatives, but I had a billion-dollar energy running through my body as if my libido were about to explode. I stopped our kiss and stood up; a doubtful and worried look fell on me from his eyes "Do you want to stop? Is everything okay?" he asked. "Everything's great" I replied with a pounding heart. He sat at the edge of the bed and called me for a careful hug, but unlike what I imagined, I turned my back to him and took off the thin fabric I was wearing. I felt his hands touching my now exposed waist, pulling me closer. I turned to face him, and his eyes fixed on my breasts as if he were hungry. I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction, and his eyes met mine. "You're beautiful," he said "You're too beautiful" he repeated, emphasizing, and I felt my face start to blush. "You're sexy, and THIS" pointing to the clothes on the floor and to me, "is too much provocation!" he affirmed while pulling the edge of my panties and kissing my belly, moving to the thighs. Soon, I was again on the boy's lap, but completely naked, and he was loving having a complete view of everything. Abruptly, my back met the mattress, and Chris's mouth started to make a trail on every inch of my body, giving some love bites to my breasts every time he passed by them. He smiled openly and without stopping. Honestly, I didn't understand the reason, but I liked seeing his spontaneous and lively reactions, and for the first time, I felt an even greater desire to try more. "Chris?" I noticed him completely lost in the curves of my body. "Babe?" - "Yes?" he looked at me from bottom to top. "I want to try what you had mentioned." His expression didn't remain firm; he was excited but scared. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Absolutely, I think it's the moment" I said, and I saw his eyes darken like the night sky and shine like the stars that inhabit it. "We'll have to improvise, but it could work" said. "Under the bed, there's a box with yarn and also an old rope, does that work?" "Yes" he answered, already reaching for the box. Next to my bed, there was a desk, and in its drawer, an unused vibrator, I thought to myself for a moment. "We need to agree on something" he said "What?" I asked as the boy wound the yarn around his hand to make it thicker to tie me up. "Colors. Green means I can continue, yellow to go carefully or to change, red to stop immediately. Okay?" he explained, and I nodded. Chris and I had enormous freedom, so we talked about fetishes, random desires, impossible dreams... one of these fetishes discussed was BDSM, and it would be a lie if I denied that I had never felt interested or said that such topics didn't bring me a certain excitement. Maybe it was the way Chris described it, but curiosity was growing in me... less courage, but today was a different day!

Chris asked me to bring my hands to my back, and as gently as possible, he tied my wrists. The next step was to place the rope on my neck and run it down the length of my belly, then move to my back, and that's when the strands of wool came in, encircling my breasts and waist. During each knot, he showered kisses on my body, asking if everything was okay, and it truly was, everything was fantastic. After finishing the ties, his gaze changed, and his hand found my neck; our lips collided again, even hotter, and Chris displayed all his need right there.

"For the words I'm going to use, use the codes we talked about, okay?" he asked, and I just nodded in agreement. "I didn't hear that" he said authoritatively. "I want to hear you answering" he continued. "Yes" I replied, feeling my butt receive a strong slap. "Yes, sir!" he corrected. "Yes, sir" I murmured. "Good girl!" he exclaimed, turning me around and making me lean over the bed. "Decided to include your own toy here?!" He laughed, turning on the slightly vibrating object. Chris clicked the speed button three times and set it to the maximum. "Let's see how much you can take." He touched the vibrator to my clit, inserting two fingers into me. "You're so wet; did just that get you like this?" he teased. "Yes" I whispered, trying to contain the moans. Chris then reprimanded me with a look, and I corrected, "Yes, sir!" An involuntary loud moan escaped, "you won't moan or speak unless I ask you to" Christopher said "You also won't cum until I give permission" he said, and I could already feel my intimacy throbbing. The pressure to stay silent was difficult and disturbing in a way.

Many thoughts raced through my head with each act. My desire was to touch him or be able to touch myself when he stops just to provoke me—a discomfort in my wrist bonds begins, and then I physically understand the purpose, the tension running through the body, and the desperation to want more and more. The moans start to become uncontrollable. "I said you can't moan or speak unless I allow it!" Christopher said firmly, giving a hard slap on my butt, making me moan even louder. His look of satisfaction was evident; his smile was evident. "Please" I whispered. "You're entitled to three words. What are they?" Chris said, sitting me in front of him and putting his hand on my neck again; his hand was huge and fit perfectly there. "Fuck me now" I begged, and so the night went on.

☆————————☆

The sound of the door slamming downstairs made me wake up slowly. A familiar male voice resonated through the house. Due to sleepiness, I didn't recognize it and closed my eyes again. My parents never entered my room until 2PM to check if I'm okay, so Christopher spent the nights with me and left as soon as I went downstairs for lunch, knowing that no one would be on the side of the house where my room is. This started when I entered university, and on Fridays, I usually spent day and night in the lab, coming home very tired; there was no way to wake me up on Saturday mornings.

"I bet she'll be very happy to see you here, Bin" my mother's voice became louder, and steps headed toward my room. For a few seconds, I tried to understand what was happening. "It's a nightmare, it's a nightmare, wake up!" I repeated, pinching myself. "What's a nightmare, angel?" I heard Chris's husky voice enveloping me in his arms. Two knocks on my door, we looked at each other alarmed; on the clock, it's 8AM, the doorknob turns, but the door is locked. "And now?" I whisper. Chris puts his finger in front of his own mouth to ask for silence while my mother calls my name, saying, "Bin came to see you, said you talked and resolved things." Son of a bitch!

I see Chris's messy curls as he moves carefully around the room to get dressed, and I feel like I'm going to pass out from anger; if it weren't for this desperation, I would spend the whole morning wrapped up in him. "Your wardrobe makes noise; say you're going to get up and change into pajamas, and I'll get into it in case your mother comes into the room" he murmured in my ear. What a mess!

"I'll open it now; I need to change my pajamas" I said, following the plan that could go very wrong. As soon as I see the shirtless boy hiding among the clothes, I feel guilt and love; as soon as he settled in, he winked and smiled. I closed the wardrobe doors and opened the bedroom door, seeing Changbin with the most mocking face possible. "Long time no see!" Changbin said, hugging me as he entered my room. "Good morning, daughter. I'll let you talk."

"You're very shameless" I said, slapping his arm. "And you're attention-seeking, a slut!" he retorted. What did he come here to do? It made no sense whatsoever; it was a chaotic and utterly ridiculous scenario.

"Where is he?" he asked. "Are you kidding me? You come to my house, wake me up at 8 in the fucking morning, pretend we're settled for my mom's sake, all just to look for Chris? Who are you?" I shout without realizing, pushing him toward the closed door.

"Won't you answer me?" he asks again. "I want you to fuck off, Seo Changbin. Get out of my house." I said with disgust. Changbin held my arms and approached my ear, whispering, "Do you want me to fuck like you do with Bahng every night?" I let go, slapped his face, and opened the door in silence for him to leave. He laughed silently, stroking his cheek, and staring at me as he descended the stairs.

I locked the door again and opened the wardrobe for Christopher to come out. I was already in tears, and he watched every inch of my body to make sure everything was okay. "Hey, I'm here," he said, hugging me and planting a kiss on my forehead. "I'm here..." he repeated. That's how we stayed for a while until lunchtime arrived, and he had to leave.

Evening arrives, and nothing lets me stay still. I can't stop thinking about what Changbin did in the morning; it was madness, complete madness.

"Thinking about me?" the message comes instantly. Did he change his number?

"You're disgusting," I replied and blocked his new number. Soon, another message comes through Twitter.

"I know you're thinking about me!" he asserted and continued, "I just need one night to make you forget Bahng, the idiot."

"I don't want to forget him; I want to forget you. Leave me alone."

"What does he have that I don't?" he persisted.

"Do I really need to answer that, Changbin? Do I need to draw a picture of our entire last year? Do I need to say who welcomed me and who takes care of me every day? Fuck you, damn it!"

"Okay, then." And the conversation ended just like that, out of nowhere. I wanted to end him in every way; only anger ran through my body. I put on my headphones and fell into a deep sleep, only to be awakened again by light taps on the window. "Come in" I said without turning around. As usual, I feel my waist being embraced and feel comfort again.

"You'd accept anyone, wouldn't you?" The voice wasn't the only one that climbed my window every night; it was Changbin's. I jumped up in shock. "What are you doing here? What the hell is this?"

What comes next? What are your thoughts? 'Intoxic8' was the winning story in the poll and will be divided into two parts! I hope you enjoyed it so far ♡

[epickiya722]

Sukuna is Yuji's Biggest Hater... Or He Is??

Oh, he is. He definitely is. There is no doubt about that. Sukuna hates Yuji and has since the get-go. Yuji will cough and Sukuna will go "shut the hell up, brat". (Exaggeration, but you get it.) But why? Why does Sukuna hate Yuji so much?

But give me a chance here!! Hear me out, folks!! Just hear me out!!

Storywise, it makes sense that he would because hello! Yuji is the big good protagonist and Sukuna is the big bad antagonist. That's to be expected. I'm here for it. But let's not mind that!!

Now, here's me just rambling on. I have thoughts, folks, thoughts. I'm not saying I'm totally right on this. Just hear me out. So get ready for a long post!

(NOTE: I started writing this in January before 248 came out! So I added onto what was revealed in that chapter and onward to this post.)

(ANOTHER NOTE: I literally finished and posted this a minute or so before I saw the leaks for 257...)

Off rip, Sukuna no doubt despises Yuji's existence for the fact that Yuji is capable of keeping him contained. He was literally made to be Sukuna's vessel. A cage, if you will. It takes Yuji willingly to give up control, Yuji being fed multiple of Sukuna's cursed fingers at once or a Binding Vow for Sukuna to take control. Other than that, Sukuna is locked up, he ain't getting out. Do not pass go and do not collect $200.

Sukuna's first L of the series came at losing a mental battle against Yuji and no doubt that was a hurt to his pride.

But other than that, why else could Sukuna despise Yuji so much?

Well, I have a guess! Am I right about this? As I said, I'm not saying for certain.

But my guess is that Sukuna hates Yuji the most because he hates how he displays himself in battle. Better yet, Sukuna hates that Yuji isn't him.

Not only he hates that Yuji displays his strength in a humble way compared to others, but as 248 reveals Sukuna hates that Yuji keeps going despite Sukuna constantly trying to break him. I'll touch on that later.

You know the saying "your biggest hater is your biggest fan" or whatever? Yeah, that is Sukuna... maybe.

I'll clear this up because I know you probably went "HOW"? Okay, I touched on this in a post so I'll summarize it here.

Yuji doesn't do something that a lot of other characters do whenever they're out there throwing hands. Enjoying a fight and/or proving their strength. Yuji often fights not to show his strength, but he fights for others. Yuji doesn't think to show off his capabilities because it doesn't interest him to. Yuji isn't a prideful person.

Mind you, even before the cog mentality bit, Yuji already didn't think much of himself. He has called himself dumb at least twice. And, in a small moment, Yuji actually seemed shocked at Megumi's comment how of "adept" he is, almost as if he didn't think he was capable of such a thing even though since day one Yuji has been shown to being able to pick up on things fast with ease.

Yuji only feels weak when he feels he has failed someone. Wasuke told him that he's a strong kid and to help others. Ever since then, what all has Yuji has tried to do? Help others. It probably irritates Sukuna given that he is not someone who helps others, especially if it doesn't benefit him. He doesn't even like requests.

Sukuna probably hates that Yuji goes out of his way to sacrifice his life for people with the power he has when Yuji should be showing it off and enjoying a good fight just like he does. It's what makes Yuji boring to him.

Whenever Sukuna has fought someone (most of the time), it's a battle of "who is stronger" and he praises that person for showing off that potential. He even gets some entertainment out of it. There was even Maki, who wasn't fighting him for the sake to prove she's strong, who he praised.

But out of those he has faced, who does he constantly put down? Yuji.

Here's the thing. We know Yuji isn't weak. Sukuna knows this, too. He knows this firsthand because he has always been there. Sukuna, the King of Curses, was able to be suppressed by Yuji while possessing his body. He has seen Yuji show strength and speed that he was born with. He fought Yuji himself and within that first fight Yuji has managed to throw Sukuna off guard twice.

So Sukuna knows what Yuji can do. He just doesn't acknowledge it to Yuji. Instead, he chooses to call him "weak" and "boring".

But why? What is it about Yuji that really gets at Sukuna to constantly put him down like that?Again, 248 confirms Sukuna hates that Yuji has an unbreakable spirit. Yet, wouldn't that be something Sukuna be impressed by? Wouldn't he be impressed that Yuji's will is so strong that not even the King of Curses can tear it down? Let alone, why would he even care enough to acknowledge Yuji's unbreakable resolve at this point of the story and actually go out his way to be petty to try to break it again?

Why is Sukuna actually wasting his energy being pressed by Yuji who he deems weaker than him?

It's expected for the villain to be irritated by a hero's unbreakable will. But with Sukuna? Villain, he may be, he doesn't cross as the type to actually be that pressed about one person. Like, why does it matter that Yuji, this teenage boy who shares his mutual hatred, opposes him?

In a way, I believe that Sukuna hates Yuji, but also believes in his capability just in his own twisted way. He may, just maybe, sees Yuji as "the next Sukuna". Not in the sense of "I want an heir to live on my legacy" but in a "you should be like me, an epitome of strength and greatness".

What if Sukuna eggs Yuji on over and over to break him to eventually get him to snap and really show him a more bloodthirsty side? But one that he isn't angry on the behalf of others, but for himself? What if Sukuna wants Yuji to be selfish? What if Sukuna hates that Yuji has this unbreakable spirit because he wants to mold Yuji into his own image, and doesn't even know it himself yet?

We don't know much of Sukuna's past except how he was feared and worshipped through his reign of terror during the Heian Era. But what about before all that? Before he became the King of Curses? Or even after? What caused his death? Did he still have people who worshipped him?

We just know he was an "unwanted" child and he brushes that off. I imagine that during his time growing up, he learned how harsh life was and that shaped him into who he is today. He may be trying to project that onto Yuji. Wants Yuji to not be so naïve about how cruel the world is and doesn't deserve selfless people like Yuji. Treating him cruelly so that eventually Yuji becomes what he wants him to be. Just like him.

It's a crazy idea, I know, but anything can happen, I guess.

Sukuna chooses to not help Yuji and even if he does, he doesn't mean to. Earlier in the story, he reacts badly to being used as "a generator" against the Finger Bearer Curse, going as far as to killing Yuji.

[Thinking back on it, I find it intriguing and visual pleasing in storytelling that Sukuna tears out Yuji's heart. Not like I wanted Sukuna to do that! I actually freaked out! What I mean is, Yuji is someone whose actions are influenced by his heart than his head. Opposite of Sukuna who is a heartless monster and in battle, he tends to think with his head. In that scene, it was like saying such. Sukuna is a heartless monster while Yuji has a heart too big for his body. Moving on!]

The next time Yuji asks for his help with Junpei he laughs in his face and denies him that aid. After that, Yuji doesn't ask for Sukuna's help anymore.

Instead, he gets stronger and trains to rely on his own skills and prowess. Probably what Sukuna wants. He doesn't want to be used as some aid Yuji calls on whenever and at the same time, just maybe he wants Yuji to grow on his own the way he probably had to. He's helping Yuji become great without helping him.

Come the Shibuya Incident, this is where it gets interesting to me.

First, recall the fight between Choso and Yuji. We can see just how Yuji has gotten stronger. So strong that Choso did indeed have a hard time beating Yuji. Choso even remarks later after Shibuya how Yuji is like a "demon god" in chapter 139. This isn't him praising Yuji as a big brother. This is him praising Yuji as someone who has faced Yuji before. That was not an easy fight for Choso even though all Yuji fought with was his martial arts, wits, strength and speed.

"Kiya, didn't he lose that fight?" Yes (and some of you won't let that go). But, remember how Sukuna reacted?

He comments how he couldn't believe that Yuji lost to such "riffraff". That wording caught my attention because Sukuna would have normally said something like "You're pathetic, you're weak" or of the nature. He probably would have made a comment of how he expected Yuji to lose.

But he doesn't! Instead, his words are of disappointment that Yuji lost to Choso all while insulting Choso with "riffraff/inferior opponent" comment. Isn't that odd to anybody else but me?

Fast forward just a little to the final battle with Mahito! When Mahito confronts Sukuna for the third time, he tells Sukuna to shut up (and he wasn't even talking) and watch as he kills Yuji. And Sukuna gives him this look. It was smug. He was smirking. It's like he knows Mahito was talking a big game that he indeed did not win. It could be because he knows that at that point, Yuji wasn't going to stop until Mahito was dead. That he was at a breaking point.

(I also felt that Sukuna probably Sensed Kenjaku nearby. The thing is, if Mahito had succeeded in killing Yuji, it still would have been a lost to him somehow because Sukuna could probably just resurrect him again.)

A breaking point that Sukuna started. Let's rewind it back a bit to after Sukuna fought Mahoraga. Ah, yes. That moment.

When Sukuna switches back to Yuji to show off the destruction he did during the fight with Mahoraga. The memories of what Sukuna had done from killing the Hasaba twins, everything he did when fighting Jogo and finally Mahoraga. Once Yuji took in everything, he becomes distressed, nauseous, he falls into this state of self-hatred.

"... I an nothing but a murderer."

That scene is a punch to the gut. It was heartbreaking, especially to Yuji fans, huh? But there is someone who enjoyed it, undoubtedly. Someone who relished in seeing Yuji in such pain. Of course, it was Sukuna. We all know Ryomen Sukuna was basking in being the cause of Yuji's breakdown.

Something tells me that during that fight against Mahoraga, Sukuna realized just how destruction and death was happening around him and thought "Oh, I think the after results should be something for the brat to see"! And when he let Yuji see that huge black space void of life? He was laughing, he had to be.

I touched on this here, but I'm bringing it up here, too.

Yuji being aware of what Sukuna does and vice versa, Sukuna actually didn't have to bring Yuji right to that spot. He could have just switched back where he was and Yuji would have still known what he did. But, no. Sukuna had to be extra cruel. He had to show Yuji what he did front row and center. Almost as if he needed Yuji to see how cold-hearted and ruthless Sukuna is and maybe push Yuji to being just as cold-hearted and ruthless.

Take note of the lyrics of SPECIALZ, the song King Gnu written from the villains' POV. (Lyrics in the parentheses are translated by the music video.)

Shall we dance in the border of the death

Tokyo trenches in the metropolis

Shall we give it our all in between yes and no

Show me a hint of bad part inside of you

***

Let it all make a mess

Devour everything to your heart's content (Let's feast on the emptiness)

A lifelong labyrinthine rendezvous (Lost in the labyrinth of life, launched on this rendezvous)

To the point of dizziness (Losing my mind), "U R MY SPECIAL"

These lyrics reflect that scene. Yuji is brought to the border of a death scene, a place where many died. "Show me a hint of bad..." Yuji's reaction is the bad part of him that later shape into the Yuji we see for the rest of the arc. His words of "nothing but a murderer" kind of hint Yuji's later words to Mahito. How he'll keep on killing and killing curses. He won't take pleasure in it as it's just seems to be his role in this ongoing war between curses and humans.

"Let it all make a mess", definitely what it all was. A mess that affects Yuji hard. A mess that you could say makes him empty inside. "Let's feast on emptiness/Devour everything to your heart's content", Sukuna pretty does just that. Feasts on everything he chooses to both literally and figuratively. He devours on Yuji's pain and what if he wants Yuji to do the same? To just devour everything to satisfy himself. He had Yuji "feast his eyes" on the empty space.

Take note that in the anime, when Yuji is saying to himself to "die, die right now" his eyes are this red color. Sukuna's eyes are red. To me, that wasn't just Yuji telling himself to die, but also Sukuna, a bad part of him that he wanted to be rid of in the first place.

"Losing my mind", Yuji wanders from that scene as he constantly replays words he and others have said to him. He's in that state of confusion, lost and dizziness.

Now, these set of lyrics also could be Mahito's POV to Yuji. Mahito is a foil to Sukuna. They're both major antagonists to Yuji who mess with him. But in opposite, death isn't something Sukuna is afraid of while Mahito turns tail when it gets dangerous for him.

Let's rewind back to my previous point about the scene between Sukuna and Mahito. Yuji was at that breaking point and Mahito was going to feel that rage and lose against it. He would, and he does, become Yuji's victim. Again, in a twisted way it seemed Sukuna was proud of just knowing Yuji was possibly about to become a killing machine against Mahito.

I described in another post here that Yuji is a toy to Sukuna. In this case, the toy Yuji is to Sukuna is play dough. A modeling dough that comes in vibrant colors that children play with to mold into whatever they imagine.

Yuji is a play dough. He's being molded into whatever Sukuna wants him to be.

But why would he care to do that? Maybe it's a subconscious decision. That somewhere deep down inside Sukuna, a part of him senses that Yuji is that missing piece of him. Remember how twins work in JJK? Two halves of one whole.

It's why he acts and does what he does. He's incomplete and Yuji makes him feel less of such.

Well, I mention before in other posts... probably... but I believe in the whole reincarnation theory, I do. I think it's a fun idea. But! I don't mean Yuji being a reincarnation of Sukuna's twin. I do believe in that though. [As of now, that theory has been debunked.]

What if Yuji was a reincarnation of Sukuna himself?

Could it be that Sukuna may be "Yuji's biggest hater" because of the idea how your own worst enemy can be yourself?

That's really all I have to say for now.

***

Now I got something to add! As of 257, it's stated that Sukuna did indeed consume his twin in the womb (that bit I was right about) but Yuji isn't the reincarnated soul of that twin. It's his father, Jin Itadori.

But I still stand by my theory Yuji could be Sukuna's reincarnation via soul recycling or other means. Like, this whole time what if Sukuna was trying to shape Yuji into what he envisions because Yuji is him? Yuji is that piece of that's like... "what could have been". He's the good that Sukuna wants extinguished.

Simply, as it turns out if you apply the reveal of 257, Sukuna is like this cruel, evil "mentor" for his "nephew" that's he's looking out in his own weird, harsh way.

[latteunwoo]

broken guitar - taerae word count: 694 masterlist

He's going to kill me, you thought to yourself as you looked at the sad scattered pieces of wood and wires on the floor that used to be Taerae's most prized possesion (other than you of course).

That guitar meant so much to him. When you guys were in high school, he would work part-time at the BBQ restaurant a few blocks away from your school as well as running small errands for the elders in your guys' neighborhood to raise money to buy his dream guitar. It wasn't just his dream guitar but it was also his lucky guitar. He had won your school's end of the year talent show with it; three years in a row. It was the guitar he used to ask you out your third year, despite your friends telling him that you didn't like those kind of cheesy gestures; you agreed because 1. you kind of had a crush on him already and 2. that was his third time trying to ask you out and if you made him wait to ask you out a fourth time he probably would have gone crazy (literally). And this guitar was the one he used when he had auditioned for the new music competition show; which he ended up winning and got signed under one of the biggest music labels in the country.

Before you even had time to figure out what to do, you heard the pin to your door being tapped in and the door clicking open. That plus the sound of the door closing shut and shoes being shuffled was enough to let you know that you were in trouble.

"Fuck," you muttered to yourself as you quickly shuffled around the living room to find something to try to cover up the mess on the floor.

"Y/N? Are you home?" Taerae asked as he walked towards the living room with his backpack hanging off one shoulder and a plastic bag hanging from his other arm.

"Babe, you're home!" You exclaimed as you quickly stood in front of him in attempt to cover up the awkward lump on the floor.

He raised an eyebrow at you as he moved to try to look behind you, "You're acting weird... What's gotten into you today?"

"Nothing," you squeaked as you continued to try to block him from seeing what was going on.

"I don't believe you. Move," he said as he softly pushed you aside and looked around the living room until his eyes landed on the awkard lump on the floor, "What are you hiding, missy?"

"Pleasedon'tbemad," you said as Taerae pulled the blanket up to reveal what you were trying to hide from him.

He literally had no words. He couldn't believe his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," you started as Taerae stood there in shock, "I don't know what happened. I was trying to clean around the living room a little before you came home and I didn't even notice it was there. I know how much this guitar meant to you and I feel so bad-"

"Stop," he said as you quickly straightened up and closed your mouth before another word slipped out, "It's fine."

"Taerae..."

He turned to you and you could tell he really was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt by giving you a small smile but deep down inside you knew he was pretty upset, "Y/N, it's fine don't worry about it. It's just a guitar."

"You just called me by my government name, it's not fine."

He just let out a small laugh, "I'm sorry. Okay, it's not fine but I mean I'll get over it. What's important is that you're okay. Are you okay? Did you get hurt anywhere?" He grabbed both of your shoulders as he searched your face and body to see if there was any cuts or bruises.

"I'm fine. But are you sure you're going to be okay? This guitar meant a lot to you..."

"But you are even more important to me," he said as he placed a soft kiss to the top of your head before pulling you into a hug.

[kingofthewilderwest]

I'm curious what do you make of the live action how to train your dragon movie and their casting choices?

Howdy! It's a fun question and I suppose I haven't "weighed in" on the topic yet.

I don't make the live action anything. XD As far as I'm concerned, there's no enlightened purpose for its existence. We'd be better without DreamWorks mirroring Disney's de-souled remakes.

I haven't been following it. I'm not avoiding anything, nor am I "pretending it doesn't exist," nor ignoring from spite. I feel none of those things. Rather, with all nonchalant calmness, I feel zero interest, so it results that I do zero following. And I like that I'm doing that. No reason to follow something I'm not going to see.

I never looked up the cast and the reason I've seen Hiccup's and Astrid's actors is because folks shared pics on social media. I'm increasingly falling into the category of, "How do you do, fellow kids?" with decreasing idea of what's in 'young people's' mainstream culture. I don't know the actors. No shocks there. Heheh.

That said, I'm not enthused with the casting. I can't imagine a world where I'd be "pleased" with any actor, but neither of these choices sparked my trigger into thinking, "Oh, that's totes Hiccup and Astrid." More like, "Really? That's your cast? Eh."

Dean DeBlois's involvement guarantees neither Inspiration nor Results. "Bringing the original guy back" can be the wrong choice; Peter Jackson created masterpieces with LOTR but should not have been the one enlisted for The Hobbit movies. Disney's Star Wars Rebootithon shouldn't have leaned on nabbing Mark, Harrison, and Carrie, especially not to the obsessive point we're digitally altering ages and deepfaking Peter Cushing instead of doing a proper recast with makeup. Mark has zero respect for what they made Luke in the sequels. The Avatar live action series discarded the OG creators after hailing their involvement. Long story short, DeBlois being at the helm does not give me more benefit of the doubt for the final result. If it ends up being uninspired it's uninspired, I don't care what names you chuck there.

I will not be seeing it. I will not be watching trailers. I will not be discussing it, either pros or cons, when it does come out. I don't care if the reviews somehow end up positive and raving. It's not in my interest sphere and I'd rather focus on stuff I do find engaging. I hardly watch movies anyway... why would I go to the theatre for my maybe-once-a-year quota for that? Now make me the Bill Monroe [father of bluegrass] biopic that was proposed, like, ten years ago, and I'll be in theatres every day it's out, regardless of quality!

[sovonight]

xadri dialogue scraps

Radri: I don't think that'll happen. I'll have a choice—and if I'm not given one, I'll make it. I have a stronger will than this taint on my soul, remember? How many times now have I fought it, and won?

Xan: But it only takes one defeat for…

Xan: (sigh) No, I will not say it. At worst, I will have sown doubt into your mind, when doubt could be fatal.

Xan, quiet, tentatively, honest: I know it may not always show… but I believe in you, Estel'amin. If there is a way, you will find it.

Radri gives him a soft smile, and finds his hand, grasping it.

Radri: I know.

—

Xan, quiet: It only takes one defeat.

Radri, coaxing: Can't you believe in me for a moment?

Xan: I do. I always do… but my belief counts for very little.

———

Radri: I can't even really picture it. Slowing down… Being able to stay in one place again… (thinking of the Underdark) Being able to choose it.

Xan: Where would you choose?

Radri: Well…

Radri: …It can't be Baldur's Gate.

Xan: Why not?

Radri: They know about me there.

Xan: …Radri, if that is the metric, the entire Sword Coast knows about you. Therefore, nowhere within a reasonable traveling distance is acceptable. Besides… I may have already purchased a property in the city.

Radri: …

Radri: What?!

Xan, sheepish: You heard me well enough, I think.

Radri: A—A property. As in—a house?

(Xan just nods, and Radri gawks at him)

Xan: I saw it on the way out of the city, and seeing as I was already carrying a large amount of coin that would be dangerous to travel with on the road, I made the purchase. For the price I paid, I suspect there may be something sinister about it—perhaps some ancient evil hiding within the basement—but knowing you, you would find that challenge a feature. (He glances at her) Of course, if you do not like it, we can sell it.

Radri: I… I…

(Lost for words, she just stares at him, then,)

Radri: I can never hear you complain about my rushing into battle again. You just bought a house on impulse? Did you spend your entire share of the reward on it?

Xan, kind of miffed/insulted: No, thankfully. I still needed funds to travel. But if you'll remember, I was robbed upon my arrival in Athkatla, so it was ultimately for the best.

Radri: No, I'm not criticizing, just shocked!

Radri: I haven't thought about returning to Baldur's Gate. I… I don't know what they would think of me. I wish I could step into the city anew—neither hero nor Bhaalspawn. Maybe a disguise, could…

Xan: (sigh) If you go down that path, you will wind up sneaking everywhere—and what kind of respite will the city make then? Let them think what they will, and watch them soon forget you. Human cities have such short memories; it is one of their few benefits.

Xan: Of course, should anyone still think so poorly of you that they dare attempt to hurt you, they will soon be met with a spell to the face.

(Radri glances up at him with a surprised little smile)

Radri: Oh? They would?

Xan, rolling his eyes, secretly glad she perked up: How did I know that a threat of violence would cheer you?

Radri: Only because it's so rare for you, and I know you only say it for my benefit. (She kisses his cheek) …Thank you, Tahlimil.

—

Radri: I just don't think I'll ever be able to forget what they thought of me. I'd rather have not left an impression at all—hero or Bhaalspawn.

Xan: You sound as if you would rather be a ghost, passing through unseen.

Xan: But you are alive, Estel'amin. You cannot help but write yourself into memory wherever you go. Will you propose next that we always travel, lest you build any history, anywhere, at all?

Xan: Let them think what they will of you—and let them forget you. Human cities have such short memories, after all. It is one of their few benefits.

Radri, thinking that over: …I suppose so.

———

Xan: Now… now, I must confess, I dream of our future.

Radri: What do you imagine?

Xan: Well, I have not thought on it long, but…

Xan: Perhaps the evening finds us in separate rooms—I, in the library, and you, in the study, not to be disturbed—and I pester you with spectral touches until you storm down to meet me, only to melt in my arms.

Radri, amused: Why do both of our plans involve kissing it better?

Xan: Because it is a chance to exercise the influence we have on each other—to be one of the few that can soothe the other's annoyance so swiftly through a gesture of love?

Xan: But that is only one version of events—in the other, you react to my teasing with delight, and descend the steps silently to return my attention in kind.

Xan: What do you think? Are you displeased with me, or delighted?

Radri: I think I would have to experience your means of summoning me, first.

———

Xan: Do I detect a hint of irritation in your voice? Are you displeased with me, beloved? If so, you must say it, for our bond has informed me only of your sense of anticipation.

(Her heartbeat is rising, and he's not wrong, but he knows very well every facet of what she's feeling—he just wants to hear her say it.)

Radri, relenting: …Perhaps I am.

Xan: "Am"…?

(He's prompting, teasing, trying to get her to say it. She huffs.)

Radri: …Irritated. …With you.

(It's short lived, and even as she says it, it's already given way to her wondering what he has in store. Through the bond, a brief glow of satisfaction comes through from him; outwardly, Xan sighs.)

Xan: I see. What shall I do? Shall I remove myself from your presence? Shall I kneel and ask for your mercy?

Xan: Or would you permit me to earn back your favor, which I have so foolishly lost?

—

(Xan meets her eyes very seriously)

Xan: I cannot live knowing that you hold even an ounce of irritation towards me. I swear to you, whatever I may have done to lose your favor, I will stop at nothing to earn it back.

Radri, fighting a smile: You are so ridiculous.

Xan: Is this the source of your ire? Shall I be more solemn and contemplative?

———

(Xan holds her closer, and kisses her hair; Radri only seems to melt further against him.)

Xan, softly: Am I forgiven already?

Radri, murmuring: You always were.

Xan: Then shall I cast dimension door, and take us into our bedroom?

Radri: …Our bed is right there.

Xan, kissing her: In our dream, Estel'amin.

(Radri's smile grows, and she laughs against him)

Radri: What a waste of a dimension door.

Xan: I beg to differ; in times of peace and quiet, this is the exact use of dimension door. For lazy convenience.

(Radri draws back at last, looking up into Xan's eyes with a dreamy grin)

Radri: Whisk us away, then, enchanter.

———

(Radri, waiting, holds her arms out to him)

Radri: Hurry here.

(She's aware she's being more demanding than usual, but she misses his warmth, and Xan is willing to comply. Still, he takes the time to bow by the bed)

Xan, dryly, jokingly: Yes, my goddess.

(Radri makes a face, and Xan can't help an amused raise of his brow)

Xan: I suppose a reimagining of us as goddess and chosen is off the table?

Radri: As if you even want it to stay on.

Xan: Or perhaps I could be your high priest, or your willing sacrifice…

(Radri's distressed frown deepens)

Radri: Just come here, please. As you are.

Xan, smiling: Yes, Estel'amin.

(He joins her, and props himself over her reclined form to lean down and kiss her on the forehead; she reaches up and pulls him down to her, and he folds easily, his legs tangling into hers, his weight on her a comforting one. He shifts to the side, so that his weight will move off her chest, and though she lets him, her arms don't leave his shoulders, and she hooks one of her legs around his.)

Xan: It's as though I've been captured in an entangle spell.

(Radri peeks up at him, miffed, and Xan hugs her back and kisses her hair)

Xan: A rather beautiful and charming one, of course.

Radri, murmuring: You're beautiful and charming.

Xan: It echoes compliments, too? Has spellcraft gone too far?

(Radri breaks into a small smile, hiding it even though she knows Xan can already feel the glow of her contentment.)

———

Radri: I love you, Tahlimil. I will never leave you, or resent you, or tire of you… (She kisses him between words)

Xan: Tire of me? Now there is another one to worry about.

Radri, smiling against him: You know I would be apart from you for all of three days before I began missing you again.

Xan: Three days?

Radri: Hmm, two, then. (She kisses him again on the cheek)

Xan: If you continue counting down, you will soon imply that you would miss me even when I'm by your side, and that would mean something is gravely wrong, indeed.

Radri, laughing: Perhaps you should stop me from counting down, then.

———

Xan: I am grateful to have you, Estel'amin.

(Her face warms, glad for his closeness)

Radri, quietly: …I'm grateful to have you, too. I don't know where I would be without you.

Xan, light amused huff: The same place you are now, I'm sure.

Radri: …No. I wouldn't be right here, with you in my arms… I wouldn't have your name on my tongue, or your heart within mine…

Radri: I would be deprived of you. And I wouldn't even know what a tragedy that was.

Xan, touched, hiding it: And to think, I assumed that I was the one with a penchant for dramatics between us. You speak as if I am as essential as the air within your lungs.

Radri: You are.

(He kisses her fondly on the cheek)

Xan: You are far too sweet, Estel'amin.

Radri: …You don't believe me.

Xan: I do. I believe your love…

Xan: But a thousand other men could have stood in my place. Devoted themselves to you as I have. Thrown themselves at your mercy, for the merest brush with your affection. They would have served you just as well.

Radri: Please don't say that anyone else could replace you. You know they couldn't.

Xan, sighing: Radri…

(He trails off at the sincere look in her eyes)

Radri: You're the only one it could've been.

(She leans in to kiss him; he accepts, eyes falling closed, letting her take the lead for once.)

[ravenbloodshot]

Someone who gives me the same asshole vibe as Cha Eun Woo and Song Kang is Eunwoo's friend Kim Young Kwang (the actor) I really liked his drama and he is quite handsome but he looks like a sadist and super manipulative to me I'm not gonna lie? No matter how much I try I can't seem to get into him? He was also caught before whilst he was a model (when he was much much younger) talking about what he finds distasteful in women and he said really weird/sexist shit but it was childish af too, like he really didn't think before speaking but I like to give benefit of the doubt to the "youth" LMFAO (not really) but you know he's also Korean so I wasn't shocked, I said oh another one bites the dust 👏🏾☺️😋 Anyway there's something sweet about him (I'm probably reaching and trying to give him a compliment) but he really totally makes the hairs on back stand idk he gives me torturous type vibes? Maybe it's past life between me and him vibes LMFAO but I see evil, I know I'm not tripping, like the dark triad evil? Am I wrong? What energy do you feel from him, please let me know!! Like he looks like if he wasn't told right he'd hold people captivate or be that weird kid that's cruel to bugs? I wouldn't be surprised if he was a bully or humiliated people, especially women. Like you know the energy of a closeted man that hates on women? He looks like the type to say mean things in a joking manner and not even consider people "beneath" him? I feel he can be sweet but it is selective, like he may want something? Idk he feels fucking cold, like his eyes and his smile, no emotion etc I wouldn't be surprised if he has a disorder or something that makes him unemotional etc He's a major homebody too and he always acts uncomfortable in social situations etc, he probably is but maybe he really does has some disorder or something because he expresses that he wants to go home etc. Like I could see him being condescending like Song Kang and Cha Eun Woo too?

CEW always gives me the energy of misguided energy? Like if he were to be surrounded by good people who humbled him he could be okay? I always see some sentiment in him? He looks like people don't check him and out of all 3 he looks to me the most reflective, like if something happened it could give him a spiritual awakening etc and change his life. Like the type of guy that heals if he was loved right. CEW gives me I am a "twin" vibes, like he has a counterpart in this lifetime who's gonna have a profound effect on his life? He always looked like a redeemable soul to me? I don't know but the more he gets deeper into the industry and this cold, cruel, money driven environment he just gonna end up being unredeemable as well, in the deep end? Like he'll end up the worst out of the bunch? I hope he don't start doing drugs but he looks smart to me lol, I'll give him that much. The more I see actors/celebs the more coldness I see lol, some of them have really scary eyes.

It's hilarious to me that people found Song Kang cute, the mf gave me I'm bland and incompetent but have the audacity to be disgusted by you vibes. He generally looks like the type to sanitise his hands if he accidentally brushed past somebody he don't respect, he looks hella coddled too and a mamas boy. He literally admitted himself that he wore the same socks for months straight. He's probably the type that doesn't do the dishes or wash his clothes etc, like he young forever? I was shocked he was feeling Han So Hee LOL but she grown woman vibes and I think it's opposites attract. Her rough girl image, idgaf demeanour probably intrigued him. A part of him also looked like he was pretending, so people could talk about them, like he used her for a come up? He shot a show with that young pretty actress and the interviews (my demon) were a pain to watch. I could tell he found her stupid and you were RIGHT, he cannot hide his dissatisfaction well!! Like it was second hand embarrassment. He was also on another show with BP Jennie and he literally iced her lmfao, he didn't even look at her, he also pushed past another woman and was heavily disgusted by another older woman complimenting him, like how dare you compliment me when you not on my level? Like the type that wants people to ask for permission before they greet him? He called another woman by another name and said "that woman" and she was like "I am that woman, it's my name", as in he didn't even bother learning their names and she said to him don't you think it's too soon to speak casually (banmal/drop honorifics) and refer to me as "that" and that you should learn people's names etc. It baffles me how people give a pass to "handsome/pretty" people in the world and especially Korea? But more so handsome men because of sexism right? Like he was not careful of his behaviour at all but people thought he was "clueless" and cute. It's obvious when he thinks people aren't on his level etc and I think he's at a point where he generally believes he's made it, so he dgaf like yasss I don't need to kiss ass anymore, when he was simply just expected to be polite LOL 😂 I think it's a chore for him to treat people well, like he might think about the beneficial reason why he should give charity and help people? Like they broke, they can get up, I'm not, I work hard. Like simple minded? He's cut the nice act now and he said so himself, that he hates being perceived as cute and a little adorable boy but he masked himself as such and then complains? Probably because he finds his fans disgusting. I'm ngl he feels like that. I don't know lol! Don't mind me, I be popping out here and there and giving the lip and the tea LMFAO 🤣 I'll stop here! 💀

— Lip Service Girl 💄

Me and you must just be on the same wavelength. I think it's too much to say Kim Young Kwang has a disorder, but everything else, I agree.

Cha Eunwoo has the best energy out of the three. But he has his own bs that comes with him. He's not a bad guy, though, the other two .....🤷‍♀️

What sticks in my mind the most is Kim Young Kwangs' weird comments about women as well. Like it's okay to have preferences, but like damn....

[autistic-inmate]

LOKI X GN!READER

- You were starting to feel like a burden to everyone after they were too busy for you, Loki noticed and came to check up on you 😊

fluff 😇

1.4k words

"Hey Tony!" I walked into the lab where he was working on his suite once again, "Hey kiddo kinda busy right now, could ya come back later?" He muttered, too absorbed in his work to even glance in my direction. I didn't want to give up just yet though, "But Tony I have an idea for-" but I got cut off by an irritated sounding Tony. "Y/n I said not now, this is important." I huffed and walked out, bumping into Bruce on the way.

"Bruce! Hey I wanted to tell you about how my science exam went-" but once again I got cut off, he didn't even stop walking properly as he turned around, "I'd love to hear how it went, y/n, but I'm really busy. But tell me later, please!" He rushed out before practically running down the hall into the lab. I understood that they were really busy people and were probably doing something important to help save earth or whatever, so I gave them the benefit of the doubt.

I went past Thor as I was on my way to Peters room, "Thor! Can I tell you about this really weird dream I had last night?" And he actually stopped and asked if he could go first because he also had a weird dream. It ended up being about Loki pretending to be a cute puppy and distracting Thor so his friends, 'the scary bird things', could swoop by and steal Thor's pop tarts. "I swear 99% of the dreams you have are pop tart related." I laughed and he agreed so I asked if I could tell him my dream. "So we were in a car with Tony, Loki and Nat. Scott was just sat in the boot right? And we stopped at a shop when I thought I saw, you know that person from the tv show we-" I got interrupted again.

"Hey Thor, you ready?" Steve's voice reached my ears as he walked up the corridor to us. "Oh, yes. Sorry y/n, but I promised Steven here that I would spa with him in the training room." He smiled politely as Cap walked past throwing a quick "hey" my way, before they got into the elevator and the doors closed. I sighed as I made my way to Parker's room whilst muttering "Fine, I guess I'll tell Peter my dream."

I knocked on and heard a cheery "come in!" So I opened the door and was met by Peter sitting cross legged on his bed with his phone. "Hey, I-" I stopped myself as he turned his phone towards me and I saw Neds face across his screen. "Hiiii y/n!" He waved and I smiled, "Oh hey Ned!" I waved awkwardly as I walked closer to Peter. "Hey y/n, me and Ned are talking about Star Wars, have you ever seen the movies?" And I shook my head, "No, I've never got round to watching them." I smiled awkwardly as Peter made a shocked face and I heard Ned start explaining to me the different reasons to start watching them right this second. I told Ned that I'll think about watching them later and that seemed to stop his rambling, "I'll leave you guys to your Star Wars talk then." I smiled as I walked out after they said bye.

I sighed again as I got to my room and opened the door, I looked around and decided to just sit on my bed. I played music through my speaker and sang along softly. It sucked when everyone seemed too busy to talk to me. I haven't had a proper conversation with anyone in a while considering they have all been out on missions throughout the week and I've been staying here because I wasn't feeling well. I know I may be over reacting but I’m starting to feel kind of lonely. It's only been small talk in between busy schedules that consists off "Hey, how was your day?" I can't really answer that question because I've been stuck at the tower and they can't really answer that question because they still have too much to do. I'm starting to feel like I'm a burden to everyone, whenever I try and talk to anyone I just feel like I’m annoying them. I heard a knock on my door so I turned my music down before shouting "Come in!"

The door opened and in came Loki. He stood just by the door and greeted me politely as usual. "Hey Loki." I smiled sadly and he frowned. "Are you alright, y/n?" I shrugged at the question and he shut the door before coming over and sitting on the end of my bed. "What's bothering you, darling?" He stared intently at me waiting for my answer and I pursed my lips debating on whether to tell him or not, in fear of looking silly or dramatic.

"I'm not going to judge you, no matter what it is, you can talk to me y/n." He smiled encouragingly and I took a breath. "It- it's stupid really, I just, I'm starting to kinda feel like a burden to everyone." I shrugged and Loki frowned again, "Why would you think that, darling?" Loki was always so kind to me, despite what they others say about him, he actually seemed like a good guy. "Well, every time I try to talk to anyone, they all say they're too busy or I get interrupted and the person I'm trying to speak to gets distracted, like they'd rather do anything else other than speak to me." I looked down and played with my hands before I heard him start speaking.

"Well they are all morons for not giving you the attention you deserve, darling. How come you never tried to talk to me? I assure you, I would've listened y/n." And I looked up in confusion, "I just assumed you wouldn't want some ‘mortal’ disturbing you, trying to tell you about their weird dreams." I smiled awkwardly.

"You shouldn't assume, darling, and you are not just some ‘mortal’. You are one of the few mortals I can tolerate, I would even go as far as to say that I enjoy your company." He smiled sincerely and I had that surprised expression across my face again. "You enjoy my company?" I asked and he chuckled softly, "Y/n if I didn't enjoy your company, I would have told you by now. Besides, I think you are the only person that shows genuine kindness towards me, even if I don't deserve it."

It was my turn to frown now, I cautiously placed my hand over his. His eyes immediately shot towards the small show of affection and I could tell he didn't really know how to react. "Loki," I called his name softly and waited for his attention to come back to me fully, his gaze landed on me again before I carried on, "you do deserve my kindness, but you know what you don't deserve? The hatred that you've been shown, from your father, from some of the people that live in this tower and from the random people that only know you because of the New York incident. I don't think it's very fair, I can see that you're trying your best and I'm proud of you, Loki, I- I just want you to know that I enjoy your company too and I'm grateful for our friendship. Oh and just so you know, if I ever meet Odin, you're gonna have to refrain me from punching him in the face." I grinned and he chuckled.

He looked into my eyes for a moment, as if he were trying to see if I meant everything I had just said. "Thankyou, y/n." He didn't have to say anything more because as he took ahold of my hand and gazed at me, I could tell he really did appreciate it. "Now, could you tell me your dream, darling?" He asked as he let my hand go before getting comfortable on my bed and leaning against the wall. I then told him my dream and we both laughed about it, we spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other's company. He told me stories of Asgard as I showed him new music and spoke about my childhood.

One thing is for certain, I'm definitely going to be spending a lot more time with Loki in the future. :)

[raxistaicho]

Why the chapter 10 twist in Engage fails.

One of the most (in)famous moments in Fire Emblem Engage is the surprise twist at the end of chapter 10, when the villains steal the Emblem Rings you've been using all throughout the game up to that point and turn them against you.

It works as a shocking, demoralizing, and heart-rending moment on one's first playthrough. And it's not something that's swiftly undone, no, you go six chapters before you reclaim any of your old Emblems, and you go almost twice that with Veyle's evil half reminding you she has Marth captive at every opportunity, almost as if she's the villain of an NTR manga.

The moment is presented as a major low point for Alear, because they failed to take appropriate caution when engaging (pun not intended) the enemy at their home base. However, I'd like to present the argument that, not only does it fail at that during the moment itself, Alear doesn't demonstrate having learned anything from it later on.

Whatever we do, we must avoid a direct encounter with the Fell Dragon.

So, to set the stage, the party has managed to close in on Destinea Cathedral, where the Elusian forces will soon conduct a ritual to restore Sombron to full power, using King Morion of Brodia as a ritual sacrifice. The Brodian siblings obviously want to rescue their father, and Alear and Vander want to obstruct the ritual so Sombron will remain in a powerless, largely harmless state.

Just before entering, Emblem Marth warns Alear,

I sense the Fell Dragon's presence. He's waiting for us inside the cathedral. We're not ready to fight him. If the ritual has been completed, we should retreat. And even if it hasn't, I think we had best escape at the first sign of danger.

But in the face of Marth stressing caution, Alear remains confident, reminding him of Ivy's claim that Sombron can hardly move. The conversation then segues to Alear talking about the strength of their bonds with the Emblems, not giving a direct response to Marth's warning.

So far, the twist is adequately set up. Marth warns Alear in no uncertain terms they shouldn't risk a confrontation with Sombron, but Alear doesn't treat the threat with the proper respect.

Unfortunately, Alear's boldness will end up not being what ruins the day.

It must also be stressed, at no point does Marth suggest simply abandoning Morion without even trying to rescue him. And for good reason: if Alear and Co. had arrived sooner and rescued him before the ritual was completed, the situation would have swung in their favor.

It appears you were a few moments too late.

The party barges into Destinea... only to learn the ritual is already over. Morion is little more than a mindless Corrupted now. Marth, ever on the ball, wastes no time telling Alear it's time to go,

We have to leave at once, Alear. Call a retreat without delay.

When Alear tries to protest, Marth sadly informs them that King Morion is beyond their aid. Alcryst is having none of this shit,

You would have us... leave our own father behind? I cannot! I will not abandon him here!

And even the normally level-headed Diamant agrees,

The only option is to Hyacinth. I won't flee after... after what he was done!

Alear's stuck in a difficult position where, even if they want to leave, they have to somehow convince Alcryst and Diamant to obey the order when both aren't in any condition to listen to reason (nor will Alcryst be in such a state for a while yet, as seen in the end-of-chapter cutscene of chapter 11). Of course, Hyacinth makes the whole point moot by signalling to forces unseen, causing the cathedral doors to slam shut.

Marth and Alear agree they're trapped inside now, and while there's no sign that they test this in any way, I'll give them (and the writers) the benefit of the doubt.

Unfortunately, this was a huge mistake on the part of the writers, because now at no point in this part of the story has Alear made a mistake that was avoidable without the benefit of hindsight.

They had to at least try to rescue Morion, because not doing so would allow Sombron to regain his power without a fight and would also surely alienate all of Brodia. Alear waffles on calling the retreat despite Marth's urging, but the problem isn't completely in their hands, because Alcryst and Diamant are making it very clear they don't want to leave without Morion.

And in spite of all that, Alear's hesitation doesn't actually matter. Indeed, even if Alear had immediately called a retreat, and Diamant and Alcryst had immediately obeyed, they still would not have been able to escape, as Hyacinth would shut them in anyways!

The opening to this story segment suggests that overconfidence will be Alear's downfall, but in reality the whole debacle happens because the Elusians were too well-prepared. Alear was facing an unwinnable situation from the start and their only correct option - just ignoring Morion and going to Solm instead - was only obvious in hindsight and would still have ended poorly for them (almost certainly with Alcryst and Diamant abandoning Alear and potentially taking Roy with them) - just not as disastrously.

We can't!

Honestly, this scene's not even very difficult to fix. Simply have Alear refuse to run! Supposedly, overcoming their fear lies at the crux of Alear's character development. I say supposedly because fear is something Alear only expresses when it's convenient for the narrative and never actually disables or inhibits their heroics, but I digress. Lumera urges them not to run as she lies dying, Alear talks about their fear with their past self late in the game, and one of Alear's kill quotes even has them say they aren't afraid anymore.

So, to tie that into this moment and give Alear something to actually make a mistake over, make it so when Marth urges Alear to flee, they agonize briefly over the decision. Then, when they see Diamant and Alcryst's rage and grief over their father's lost state, have it remind them of their own grief for Lumera, which then reminds them she told them never to flee.

Drawing Libération, Alear would declare that Lumera told them never to run away, and they won't run from Hyacinth now. The fight then proceeds without the doors being sealed. The option to retreat is still there, Alear just refuses to take it.

This would be a great moment of negative growth for Alear: they've gone from being too afraid to being foolhardy, and pay for it with the loss of the Emblems they've grown so attached to. This would further drive the point Lucina and Lyn try to teach them at the end of the next chapter, about the difference between stubbornness and courage.

Speaking of which...

My mother told me that a Divine Dragon should never run away.

At the start of chapter 11, Alear makes a half-hearted plea to stand and fight to rescue the Emblems, but you can tell immediately that this doesn't come from a place of bravery, confidence, or stubbornness, but desperation. Alear just wants to make things right, somehow. Alfred, in a surprising moment of tactical know-how, shoots Alear down and convinces them rather easily to flee instead, and that's the end of that until the end-of-chapter cutscene.

After settling an argument between Alcryst and Ivy and re-affirming that they intend to continue fighting, Alear takes a moment to lament having been forced to flee, only for Lucina and Lyn to... play semantic word games with them and tell them it's actually fine, tho.

This scene seriously falls flat, because like I mentioned before, Alear didn't reach this low point by refusing to run. They kinda waffled at it in the cathedral and briefly wanted to try fighting in the forest, but they fled when it came down to it and had the option to do so. Nothing could be learned, because the lesson is not coming from a place of Alear making an actual mistake that ties to said lesson.

This is supposed to be the beginning of a character arc in which Alear becomes stronger and wiser, but how well does that pan out?

Weeeeeeell...

I'll give her back. All you gotta do is beat me.

Exactly 10 chapters after their failure at Destinea, Alear confronts their failure once again when they march upon Elusia Castle. Despite being in a much stronger position now than they were then, Alear's still shaken by that moment, and fears what might happen if they fail again. Therefor, they order,

Be vigilant. At the first sign of danger, we should retreat...

The irony that this was the last warning Marth ever gave them is not lost on them. Unfortunately, this time Alear absolutely falls prey to overconfidence, and is only saved from repeating their past mistake because their enemy has a very different trap for them in mind this time.

Alear and company find Elusia castle eerily quiet, but before they have much time to dwell on it, Griss steps out of the shadows and all but dares them to fight,

I gotta hand it to you - two more rings in your pocket. Not bad. But for the complete set, you'll need more. Like... this one.

even revealing the quiet Emblem Celica just to bait them further. When Alear questions what Griss is up to, the masochistic mage deflects the question by asking whether they're afraid Sombron will appear. At this, Alear replies,

It's one against many. We'll crush you.

But Griss continues to insist this isn't a trap and nobody is coming to help him. Alear, finally, decides to play his game,

Fine. I don't know what you're after, but we won't let this chance pass us by.

So, I must now ask... what lesson, exactly, did Alear learn at Destinea? Supposedly we should believe Alear learned the value of discretion, but here, when Griss is eerily all but daring them to fight and take back Celica, Alear just accepts his challenge without much sign of caution. No scouting the area for traps, no contingencies, just, "fine, we need Celica back anyways, so have at you!"

This meshes with neither the introduction to this chapter, nor with chapter 10 at all! The only reason Alear doesn't fall into the same trap all over again is because Veyle and Sombron really aren't here. What would they do if Veyle was skulking in the shadows, preparing to unleash her capped pickpocketting skill on them again because they carelessly let Griss bait them into a fight?

And speaking of Veyle...

Amazing you didn't notice. You must not be very bright.

Of course, no discussion of the failures of the chapter 10 twist can be complete without mentioning how absurdly contrived the actual theft of the Emblem Rings is.

After having a little chat with the new villains who are soon to be the victims of repeated and repetitive ass-kickings, the Four Hounds, Alear orders the team to Engage and fight their way through, only for the scene to cut to arguably the worst villain in the entire franchise, who does... something...

and suddenly the rings are gone.

Veyle explains she took back the Draconic Time Crystal while Alear was arguing with the Four Hounds. How did she do that? Did she acquire it magically at range? Then why doesn't she do this again later? Did she sneak over and snatch it out of Alear's pocket without Alear or anyone in the army noticing? Veyle's very far away from Alear in this scene! I mean sure, the Four Hounds are being a distraction, but are you trying to tell me nobody was keeping an eye on the goddamn dragon behind them? Not Yunaka, not Citrinne, not Louis or Jade or Céline?

Alear blurts out, "you used it?" which implies Veyle used the DTC to steal the rings, but the DTC is never shown to permit the user to carry back anything acquired after the point they returned to, and Veyle was shown to possess the Emblem rings both before and after she was implied to have used the DTC, as I demonstrated in the picture above.

Furthermore, why did Veyle use the DTC when she already had at least a few of the rings? Was she secretly having to try multiple times off-screen? Did she just grab them one by one as a joke to see if Alear would catch on before it was too late? And again, how did she still the rings? The DTC doesn't freeze time, so how did she snatch the rings off their bearers' fingers? Magically at range? Using her capped pickpocketting?

And why doesn't Veyle just do this again later? At Flora Port, all she had to do was steal the DTC from Alear again, and then steal their Emblem Rings again. Alear doesn't even handwave taking better measures to take care not to lose the DTC again - in fact once Zelkov gives it back it's never mentioned again in the story.

Speaking of which, how did Zelkov manage to snatch the DTC out from under Veyle? She can either acquire it through magic or she's a godly thief, and yet he just nabs it from her even though she should be distrusting of him, Zelkov being both the recently-disgraced Ivy's retainer and a human, who Evil Veyle naturally loathes.

Just, nothing about this chain of events makes any sense in the broader narrative and it exposes a lack of continuous planning. I'm legitimately curious how the manga handles this scene.

Shine on, Emblem of Beginnings.

So yeah, the twist at the end of chapter 10 exists for the sake of being a gut-wrenching moment. Because Don't Speak Her Name! wound up being such an iconic moment in Awakening, IntSys decided every future Fire Emblem needed such a moment. In Fates it was Thorn in You, and in Engage it's Broken Bonds.

Unfortunately, the need to have such a moment outstripped any consideration for how we get such a moment, so any story justification for why and how the scene takes place and how it stands in the broader narrative is secondary.

Contrary to their own claims, it doesn't happen because of any mistake Alear makes, Alear learns nothing from it, and the villains just don't do it again even though it should be within their power. The plot twist doesn't serve any purpose aside from being a twist. And that's why it doesn't work.

[ceasarslegion]

Hey guys

I hate doing this i hate it i really do but, on my last day of work I watched someone get stabbed in the neck and his assailant sprayed bear mace all over the hallway at the security guards trying to tackle him. I've never seen that level of human fear and panic in public before as people scrambled for the exits, nor have I ever felt that suffocated before. Not even the delta variant of COVID made it hurt that much just to breathe. Bear mace is a special kind of agony that I hope none of you ever have to experience. I'm young and healthy and able-bodied so my lungs should be able to bounce back, but that doesn't make me invincible. My eyes are still watering and I still have a bit of a cough, but it seems to be getting better with time.

I'm lucky to live in a country with free physical healthcare if anything gets worse or goes wrong there, so I don't have to worry about that avenue. The main thing I'm having issues with is the mental toll that takes on a person. This incident occurred just days after I dealt with the cops for a different reason when I told off the wrong group of kids for being abusive to a service worker and they kept me holed up in a KFC for over an hour banging at me through the glass and threatening my life if I stepped outside. And after the stabbing incident, our head office wanted us to open up our store and start selling again as if nothing was wrong, as if we were making up excuses to leave early. They won't be covering their staff's mental health nor giving them any hazard pay or time off that our friends at the Starbucks are getting. Therapy isn't covered in Canada.

That was also my last day at that job, and while I have another way better one lined up soon, there's still a gap of unknown (but not long) length between positions during which I'm effectively unemployed while my new supervisor slots me into the next available training course. This was supposed to be a well-earned break for me to rest and relax, but I worry it will be overshadowed by the murky cloud of settling trauma. While I have savings, I have to make them stretch as long and far as possible since I have no income coming in and I don't have a set date for when I will again, just "very soon."

I haven't been able to sleep and I'm too nauseated to eat. I still feel numb and in shock to what I saw and experienced. The lingering bear mace isn't bad enough to be the culprit, as I've slept and eaten through worse colds at this point. I think I'm going to have to book an emergency session with my therapist, but his rates are a bit pricey. I'm going to ask the office about possible payment plans or if things can get at least partially covered under AHS in the event of something like this since it's a threat to my physical health if it's making me rapidly agoraphobic and affecting my ability to take care of my basic needs like sleep and feeding myself. Even if my old work would cover it (highly doubt it), I don't work there anymore. That was the exact date outlined in my resignation letter. It's just a shit situation all around.

But if you guys have the ability to kick me a few extra bucks that will all go towards therapy, I would be forever grateful for it. You don't have to, please don't feel obligated. I've gotten out of worse scraps than this financially, and if all else fails, I can beg my grandmother for some of the hoard of oil money cash that she sits on like a dragon. The problem is that she's incredibly psychologically abusive, but she's the only member of my family who could foot a bill like that on this short of notice. So you don't have to worry that I'll go bankrupt or anything. But for obvious reasons, I'd rather not compile onto the mental health problems I'm experiencing if I can avoid it.

And the job I'm onboarding onto has a fantastic salary and benefits, so I can pay everybody back once I have a reliable source of income again. With the amount of followers I have, even a dollar or a reblog helps immensely. And I won't accept anything that exceeds the amount a session costs if I get that much in cumulative assistance (180 CAD), so it's all going to therapy.

My canadian p**p** is .me/damodrawz if you can spare anything, but don't feel obligated.

Thanks everybody, I hope things get better soon.

[bi-bard]

It's Got Me Hoping for the Future and Worrying About the Past - Aiden Galvin [Blood & Chocolate]

Title: It's Got Me Hoping for the Future and Worrying About the Past

Pairing: Aiden Galvin X Reader

Word Count: 1,504 words

Warning(s): none

Summary: [Inspired by "Help Me" by Joni Mitchell] Aiden was immediately smitten when he met (Y/n). However, (Y/n) was far more hesitant to ever entertain the chance that they felt the same.

Author's Note: I got this idea from an edit of another Hugh Dancy character.

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When I first met Aiden, I assumed he was the troubled artist type.

He seemed like the type of guy that fell in love quickly... and often. He would spend short bursts of time being completely enamored by someone. He'd make them feel like they were the only thing that mattered on the planet. A true romantic. And then, his art would drag him away to the next object of his desires.

Was that a harsh assumption to make? Maybe.

Was it based on personal experience? Pretty much.

I met him while I was out for coffee.

I was sitting on my own. I was taking some advice I had gotten from a family member. Allow myself time to relax. Give myself a gift every now and then. It would help.

I was getting used to it.

My mind was still racing with a list of things that I felt like I needed to get done now. I kept biting the inside of my cheek. I was switching between reading the book that I had brought with me and senselessly picking at my nail.

How did people spend so much time relaxing like this?

I took a moment to look around at the crowd around me. I don't know if I subconsciously felt someone glancing at me or if I simply wanted to understand how this was at all relaxing.

That's when I saw Aiden.

He looked exactly like every romantic lead ever.

That was the best way that I could describe him. The messy hair and the clothes. The sketch paper in front of him and the pencil that he seemed moments from biting clean through. The look on his face that gave the illusion that his mind was trapped in some other world of his own construction.

Cheesy.

He was looking at me when I looked at him.

In the moment when anyone else would look away out of fear of looking creepy to a stranger that didn't know them, he stayed completely still. He even let a smile form on his lips.

I looked away from him first, going back to my book. I bit my tongue to keep from letting my annoyance overwhelm the benefits that I was supposed to be receiving from this outing.

I assumed that was the end of it.

Then, I went to leave.

I can't say that I was stunned that he was still there. I was just stunned that he spoke to me.

"Hi," he said as I passed by.

I slowed my walk. I almost had to double-check that the greeting had been meant for me.

He seemed to just smile a bit more at my pause.

"Hi," I replied, never not skeptical.

He stood up and held out a hand to me. "I'm Aiden."

I reached out and shook his hand. "(Y/n)."

"Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," I nodded at him. "Can I... Can I ask why you stopped me?"

"I was going to apologize for staring earlier," he motioned to the seat that I had been sitting on. "I would offer to get you a coffee, but considering you just got done, maybe I could offer something else. Dinner? Drinks?"

I couldn't help the kind of shocked laugh that made its way out of my mouth. His eyebrows furrowed for a moment.

"Listen, that's very nice," I explained. "I'm just... not really looking for... anything right now."

"Oh," he nodded. I nodded back. "Well, maybe I'll see you around?"

Doubt it. "Maybe."

I waved as I walked away from the table.

I hadn't lied to him. I truly had no interest in pursuing anything.

The idea of going on another first date to "see how things go" made my heart rate spike and not in a good way. I would much rather stay where I was. Calm and free and unworried about everything that comes with a date.

At least for now, I was happier assuming that I would never run into Aiden again.

Not that the universe ever cared about what I was happy with.

It was a few days after our initial run-in. I had paused for a moment too long while scanning my eyes along a shelf of book covers. I didn't even catch a glance of Aiden before he had started walking over to me.

"(Y/n), right?"

I looked at him, my eyes going a bit wide because what the actual fuck were the odds?

"Yeah," I replied. "Aiden."

"Yeah," he grinned at me.

"If I didn't know better, then I would say that you were following me," I joked.

"No, no," he shook his head. "I was checking out the books."

"Oh," I nodded. "Looking for anything in particular?"

"Mine."

"Your book?"

He nodded.

"I misjudged you," I noted. He furrowed his eyebrows at me. "I thought you were the struggling artist character, but clearly not."

"Who said that I'm not?"

"Are you?"

"Well, I would never admit that," he chuckled. "Maybe you could figure that out while we have a drink together?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Good try."

"What was I trying," he asked, feigning innocence.

"You must think that you're so clever," I said. "Well, struggling artist, nice try... but I'll see you around."

He sighed as I walked around him and continued on my way.

We kept meeting after that.

They were usually short conversations. Stupid things about the weather or work or whatever we were doing when we ran into each other.

I hated to admit it, but Aiden was getting to me.

I found myself mimicking his stupid grins. I was nervous after we spoke. My heart would speed up around him. In a nice way.

And I felt like he could tell.

I felt ridiculous. Like a teenager.

I tried to ignore it. If I didn't acknowledge the feelings, then I didn't have to fight whether or not they were real. But he didn't seem to have any interest in hiding his feelings.

I was waiting for the moment he ran. The moment that someone else caught his eye and he started pursuing them. I thought that he was someone that enjoyed the action of falling in love more than that of being in love.

But as the days dragged on, turning into weeks, I was beginning to doubt that the shift would happen so easily.

Then, Aiden and I found ourselves at the very place that we had met at.

I was sitting with a book and a drink when he placed himself in the chair across from me.

I glanced up from the pages. "You can't corner me into having drinks with you."

"Who said anything like that," he replied. "This is just two people who happen to sit at the same table because all the other seats were full."

I looked at the other tables. They were all mostly empty. I raised an eyebrow at him.

He just shrugged and started drawing. I rolled my eyes and went back to reading.

I happened to glance up between sentences and catch sight of what he was drawing.

"Is that me," I asked.

He stopped and looked at me. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to draw you."

I hesitated for a moment before placing a bookmark between the book pages and placing the book on the table. I moved my hand forward a bit.

"Can I...?" I motioned toward the drawing

He grinned and handed his sketchbook to me.

I felt like I was going to damage it. I tried to be as careful as possible.

"It's... It's lovely," I muttered. It was. Better than I felt like I deserved in terms of attention and detail.

"I'd hope so."

I grinned a bit.

"(Y/n)..."

I looked up from the drawing to find that Aiden had leaned forward on the table. We were maybe a few inches from each other. I watched his eyes jump from my eyes to my lips and back again before he leaned even closer.

His lips pressed against mine.

I leaned a little closer to him as I kissed him back.

It was a soft kiss. His hand touched mine.

I moved back after a few moments. Just far enough to stop the kiss. I couldn't remember a time that I had been so nervous about a single kiss. I chuckled as I looked down at our hands. I heard him chuckle too.

Aiden didn't lean back into his seat as I did. He stayed where he had been, continuing to let his eyes jump around to different parts of my face.

"Stop looking at me like that," I said, feeling my face warm up.

"Sorry," his hand slipped from mine as he leaned back a bit. "So... is this a good time to ask about that drink?"

"Maybe."

His grin broke into a full smile.

I found my smile mimicking his.

I was beginning to entertain the idea that he wasn't going to run away like I assumed he would.

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[prettycottonmouthlamia]

Pokemon Emerald Ralts Only Part 5: Brace for Impact

When we last left off on this journey, we learned that we were going to need to level up in order to outspeed the Voltorb and finally put an end to its reign of terror on this playthrough. Honestly I genuinely didn't think the Voltorb would even be an issue, it basically never is for other Pokemon. Ralts momento I guess.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Let's talk about EVs for a moment. In Generation 3, Gamefreak changes how Pokemon stats are calculated from the Stat Experience system to the EV system. For as far as I can tell, there's two big reasons to make such a change given the mechanics of each

It's way easier to max out EVs compared to Stat Experience. A Pokemon going through the entire game of Pokemon Yellow and fighting every trainer you can come across won't have enough Stat Experience to be maxed out, while getting to the EV cap is a lot easier.

Stat Experience led to a style of competitive play that was very bulky and very slow in Generation II, thanks to the introduction of more powerful stalling tools such as Toxic, Mean Look, Charm etc and the incredibly powerful item, the Leftovers. The EV system is set up in a way where you'll have to give up some stats to max out others, and lowers the average bulk of Pokemon as a result.

Now, this all being said, I kind of despise EVs. They're mind-poison. Once you learn about them, it's hard to not have them constantly in the back of mind, telling you that the random Defense EVs you had to get as a result of a mandatory battle are a complete waste. With Stat Experience, there was no such issue. You couldn't mess them up, so its a casual system I much prefer over the other.

If you look at our EVs, you can see how mandatory battles really throw a wrench into actually building a Pokemon. If you wanted Ralts to have the most Speed and Sp.A possible, we've already lost 110 out of our allotted 510 EVs to 4 stats we don't want to invest it. Given that a stat takes 252 EVs to max out, we can max out one stat and not the other.

But with the Macho Brace and the extra training we need to do to get to the next level, we can actually jump a bit ahead of the curve. Route 115 is a great place to smash some extra EVs: Oddish are extremely common and provide 1 SpA EV, Illumise are reasonably common and provide 1 Spe EV, and while Marill isn't amazing, it does provide 2 HP EVs, which we won't pass up on.

We only need one level, so we're not gonna go super far ahead, but once we do...

We actually gained 3 SpA from that level-up, which I'll give the benefit of the doubt to the Oddish on, and with a blistering 51 Speed, we finally outspeed the Voltorb, so it is time to fucking go. We are back and ready for vengeance.

With the extra damage rounding threshold and SpA on our side, Voltorb is an easy one-hit, and god does that feel good to say. At this point I make a strategic choice that we are going to set-up twice on the Electrike with Calm Mind. This is to make absolutely sure we don't get bodied by the Magneton. Electrike is honestly pretty free to set-up on too, since it likes to use Howl and Leer a lot.

And that is a CLEAN 2HKO if I've ever seen one. We're so back.

And in perhaps what might be the most stunning upset ever, Manectric just goes for Howl and we actually OHKO it with our +2 Psychic. Ralts has finally entered its god mode.

On a meta note, while Ralts is a Slow growth rate Pokemon and hence a lot of EXP had to be funneled in to get to this point, Level 33 is a pretty low level finish. It only had to grind for one additional level on wild Pokemon, and once the plan for the fight was figured out, the fight simplified itself pretty well. Having Calm Mind this early is a pretty big godsend, and while I don't expect Ralts to have a super easy time going forward, I do think that Ralts might have a pretty OK mid-game to look forwards to.

Next! Flannery! Shock Wave! We will no longer fear the Poochyena line!?