#I'm all grown up

[veryorignalthoughts]

Princess

“Dad really does need to stop calling me for this stuff” Beatrice grabbed her sister’s arm and placed it over hers.

“I mean I get why you’re here. You’re freaking husband is the host.” She continued on.

“Yes, and you’re still la princesa. Which is why you must be here. Everyone wants you here. To be graced with your presence and poise.” Anna, her older sister, chuckled.

“Oh hush” Beatrice ruffled her gown a bit more. “You’ll be fine. I know you don’t like these things, but it’ll go by fast I promise.” Anna added.

“Anna, te necesito aqui” her husband called out to her. She nodded and gave her sister a thumbs-up. “Smile.” She pointed to her mouth. Beatrice gave a snarl.

          “Like you mean it” Anna blew her a kiss and turned away.

Beatrice didn’t get why she was still seen as the little princess of the drug world. She was 21year old woman. Not the smily shiny little girl she once was.

And yet she was still the holder of the title.

Every cartel had one. One daughter of a founding member of the little gang seemed to become some sort of twisted Disney Princess.

And in her world she was chosen. Was chosen and raised accordingly. She always thought her bright red hair had marked her. While everyone else in her family sported a sheer black look.

Her father, Rodger Millow, was the biggest partner north of the border. They resided in New York a few miles from the big city. She was still called to accompany him to these cartel parties and events. Like it was a country club or something.

The only saving grace to Beatrice was her sister, whose husband worked in the business.

Now faced with being partially alone she turned to meander with the little people of the group. Mid tier people trying to make it in the bigger fish’s pond.

Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she paused. Beatrice had specifically chosen a more adult look. This was to be the last time she played Princess.

Her hair framed her face with loose curls at the end.

She picked out her long shimmering gold Valentino cocktail dress that had a slit in the side that went straight up to her hip, save for an inch you could have seen something you shouldn’t.

She looked up and suddenly realized that guests were pouring in. That was her cue to whisk them away.

Practically leaping into the arms of Don Eladio she twirled them around into a hug. She could tell they all got the message. She was a grown woman who can now take your breath away.

“I’m so glad to see you” she smiled. “It’s been too long” he kissed her cheek and went on to start the party. He was good at that. The Salamanca’s stood close behind him. She warmly greeted Hector and simply said hello to the others.

But Lalo, didn’t simply take the simple gesture.

“You look breathtaking, my dear” he cupped both her hands and kissed them.

“You’re still a scoundrel I see” she giggled nervously. He was much much older than her. He could have been her dad at his age. But she still ate it up.

“Thank you, though. It’s nice of you to say” Beatrice stumbled out. “Why don’t we have a drink, eh? You look nervous” his smile could just melt her. She only nodded in response and let him take her away.

The night went on and for the bulk of it Beatrice had been talking to Eduardo. No matter how many times she tried to leave he’d guide her back to him. He asked her to dance and she very willingly agreed.

Lalo knew exactly what he was doing to her. He wondered how he hadn’t done this sooner. Daddy’s girls always fell for him. He loved it.

He pulled her closer and danced just about chest to chest. “Mr. Salamanca, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were flirting with me. Lalo leaned in to make his official move.

“Quiero hacer algo más que coquetear” he deepened his voice and whispered to her. Her face turned purple she blushed so hard. Beatrice felt lightheaded from his attentions. “I-I um. I don’t know what to say to that” she stumbled.

“You don’t have to say anything” he grabbed her hand and dragged her along behind him. Finding an empty room far away from the party, he whipped her around and kissed her.

She slunk back becoming intimidated by him and his stature. Beatrice knew that this was a line she probably shouldn’t cross. That Eduardo Salamanca was known for doing this.

But God, his cologne, his touch, his voice all of it was so intense and inviting. She could feel him smoothing her over. And she liked it.

“You want this don’t you” he half asked. It was really more of a statement, but she had whimpered a yes as she deepened the kiss. He had her against the wall. “I’m not very…” she looked around.

“Experienced? I know. That’s why you need me. I’ll show you how it’s supposed to go. Make you feel things that boys can’t do.” He brushed her hair out of the way. Tugging so she had to look him dead in the eyes.

“You think you’re that good” she breathily laughed.

“I know I am” he turned her around to face the mirror that made up one wall of the room. “Your brother-in-law an exhibitionist?” He smiled biting her neck leaving little marks as he went. “Wouldn’t know” Beatrice breathed.

“We should stop” she couldn’t look away from the mirror. Neither of them moved to do anything of the sort. “I don’t think you want to do that” he chuckled at how much he was effecting her.

He moved to undo her dress, it dropped with a thud on the floor. Her chest and bare body now exposed. Lalo tossed her on the bed like nothing. He scraped her underwear off with ease.

Before she knew it, he was on her. Rolled up his sleeves and dove in. Her hips bucked on their own as she twitched at the feeling. “Ahh!” she bit back what she wanted to say.

He looked up from the mess he was making. “Don’t you dare hold back” he said with a dark glint in his eyes. She was inclined to obey.

“Fuck” she squealed. “It’s too much! It’s too much” she writhed on the bed trying to move away from the source of overwhelming sensations. He gripped her thighs hard enough to leave marks.

She felt something she had only felt with herself. “Oh fuck, Daddy” she cried out as one of the strongest orgasms in her life shocked and pulsed through her.

He looked up grinning, “Daddy huh?”

“I’m sorry it just came out. I” he cut her off.

“Did I say I didn’t like it?” He questioned. Quick to undress himself, he motioned for her to get closer. “Show Daddy what skills you have” he guided her head down.

Beatrice smiled and began greedily sucking him down. Easily taking all of him. “Ohhh fuck” he laughed and threw back his head. “You do this too easy, little girl” he breathed.

She looked up stopping for a moment, “I’m a singer, I know my throat very well.” She went back to making him groan and grind against her mouth and tongue. He felt a bit too close, and had no intention on stopping. He pulled her away and looked down at her. “Up” he simply commanded.

Bouncing up and wiping her mouth off she did as she was told. She had a hungry look to her. To Lalo she was perfect with her hair all messed up and lips so pink; just waiting to be told what to do next.

Wordlessly he topped her and without hesitation slid into her. She whimpered at the fullness she felt. He began bucking and leaning over her.

“Yes” she whined, “You are great! Holy fuck!”

Eduardo laughed effortlessly and decided to make her go crazy. Knowing exactly how girls like her wanted it.

He situated them into doggy facing the mirror.

He felt her pulse around him. “Oh, you’re the exhibitionist” he pulled back her hair and used it as a handle. “ You like seeing what dirty things Daddy is doing to his little girl.” He grabbed at her picking up the pace as he did.

Beatrice moaned and shook her head fervently. “Use your words baby girl” he smiled.

“Yes” she said between poundings. “Yes what?” He smirked as he moved his hand down to her clit and began to pull at her seams.

“FUCK! I fucking LOVE what Daddy does to his little girl” she closed her eyes and practically screamed. “I know you do” he growled.

Lalo dug deep and went even harder. “Dah-daddy I’m going to” she squealed. “Cum for me Beatrice” he gritted through his teeth. She came so hard she felt it running down her legs. He felt it too and was head over heels for her. She was just so eager to please and easy to play with.

 As much as he wanted to stay like this, having her call out his name and anything else she might think of.

“Where do they usually” he grunted. “Out, but I’m on”Beatrice belted out as he hit her especially hard. “Good girl” he said.

Grabbing her hips, he locked eyes with her in the mirror. Looking at how beautifully undone the young woman beneath him. Finally he found his release with a smile and a groan.

Lalo and Beatrice fell together in a mess of sheets.

“We should get back” he threw his arm around her.

“I’d rather stay here with you” She looked up at him. “Don’t worry this isn’t over, Princess” he winked.

[donkeysyears]

probably me at 40: guys I don't wanna grow up it sucks

[thottybrucewayne]

I think what I want to get into with the "Anyone can do harm." thing that I keep beating yall over the head with is that literally anyone, anyone at all can do harm it's not "in your DNA" to be an abuser or written in the stars that you'll be a predator. Whatever image you have of an abuser in your head, drop it and replace it with your favorite person in the world and you'll probably be closer to the truth than you realize. It's easy to address harm when it's coming from someone you already hate. I see it happen all the time. Someone you couldn't stand for no real reason does something heinous then all of a sudden here comes the avalanche of "I always knew they were a fucked up individual." No, you didn't. There is no possible way you could have known, you just already didn't fuck with them before they started doing something you could use to justify your hatred of them. I'm guilty of it too! I'm petty, mean, vindictive, and yes! I'm way quicker to believe something bad about someone I hate versus someone I love because I'm human. Still, y all gotta learn to move past that initial "Well, they were always nice to me!" gut feeling and understand that nobody truly knows anyone and anyone can be capable of anything. Even victims. Even you.

[iamacolor]

Casual touches between Sol and Sunjae 💛

LOVELY RUNNER - EPISODE 16

[pinksilvace]

ROTATING HIM IN MY HEAD AT AN ACCELERATING VELOCITY

[originalaccountname]

Mori Ougai’s belief as the boss is [...] “The boss stands on top of the organization, and at the same time, be the slave of all.” For the sake of the organization, the boss must always take the “logical optimal solution.” That is the duty of the boss. [...] “Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings.”

Kafka Asagiri, for the BSD exhibition

On Mori and regret.

This man acts based on his perceived "optimal solution". It means relying on cold logic, detached from (his own and others') emotions. In that way, he fits right in as one of the smart characters of BSD, contrasting for example Dazai's way of working with/around people's feelings, and Fyodor's way of manipulating and twisting those feelings into monsters.

Mori remains cold, logical, distant, efficient. It meant disregarding Yosano's and the soldiers' deteriorating mental health during the war because the concept of an army that cannot be wiped out was too good. It meant following Natsume's plan and taking the old boss' place himself to fix Yokohama's underground and protect the city and its people. It also meant disposing of Mimic by sacrificing Oda in order to get the special ability business permit, despite (and perhaps because of) Dazai's attachment to the man.

The thing is, humans are not logical creatures, and will inevitably encounter conflicting emotions.

(does this look like the face of a man without regrets to you?)

Mori in Dark Era tried to pass on to Dazai his practice of putting aside his own feelings for the sake of choosing the most efficient solution that will benefit the group. It backfired spectacularly, so much so even, that Mori regrets it to this day.

For the BSD exhibition, Asagiri wrote some individual character commentaries, all very interesting insights into their characters and the writing intentions. For Mori, here's what he wrote:

“He who fell out of the optimal solution” Mori Ougai’s belief as the boss is described in the novel “Dark Era” and “Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen”. That is “The boss stands on top of the organization, and at the same time, be the slave of all.” For the sake of the organization, the boss must always take the “logical optimal solution.” That is the duty of the boss. There is an unspoken additional point to it. “Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings.” We can catch a glimpse of that in this scene. [the ADA-PM alliance meeting] Mori’s expressions after “Burnt it.” and “Like what you did to your predecessor”, gave us a glimpse of his true feelings that were made sacrifices for the sake of the “logical optimal solution”. (By the way, it goes without saying that Dazai is inducing Mori’s thoughts by words that will make him regret the past. It is to make him decide to form an “alliance”.) source and translation: Popopretty

(notice the inclusion of Hirotsu in this scene. Remember that later, Hirotsu suggests that Dazai knows why Mori did what he did to overthrow the old boss, which, in my opinion, is both a proof of Dazai's support in Mori's goal, and a reminder to uphold it.)

One of my favourite parts of the Dark Era light novel is a small scene during the epilogue that was not adapted into the anime. This is two weeks after Dazai defected:

To quote Asagiri again, "Therefore, no matter how much your heart aches, you have to ignore your personal feelings." Mori is conflicted about the outcome of the Mimic incident. He holds in his hands the Silver Oracle he himself gave to Oda, and reflects on its purpose: to "help the man mentioned above without hesitation in the face of any and all trials". Didn't he fail to do just that with Oda? Didn't he set him up and sent him to his doom? Didn't he abandon him to his trial?

But he rationalizes the events by saying he got the permit they so badly needed. No matter if he sacrificed one of his men. No matter if he drove Dazai away. He accomplished his priceless goal. It was a total success.

And yet, he poorly folds a paper airplane with the very Silver Oracle he gave Oda, throws it, watches it crash immediately, and mourns the loss of his right-hand man, without ever moving on.

But we have a direct example of Mori expressing regret.

The perception that Mori in BEAST is a completely different character than Mori is in canon, when that perception doesn't extend to any other character from that universe, rubs me the wrong way. The characters in BEAST are very similar to their canon selves, with some core traits getting a new twist. They are all one or two major life changes away from becoming these versions of themselves. As far as we know, Mori's only life-altering event was being forcefully removed from the Port Mafia by Dazai, and secretly put in charge of Atsushi's old orphanage.

Mori unambiguously made that orphanage a better place, as stated by Atsushi himself. BEAST!Mori is a lot softer, vulnerable and honest. That Mori offers to be a father to Atsushi while he heals. He also expresses regret in not being able to help Dazai when he was in his care.

I think it's very interesting, especially when knowing that Asagiri wrote both BEAST and Fifteen at the same time for the Dead Apple movie, because in Fifteen we have this:

The beginning of the first chapter of Fifteen is a gold mine. It is narrated from Mori's point of view, the man of logic and calculations, and yet it is full of doubt. He is alone and struggling to fix everything with so many people against him. But, throughout this scene about grasping at the Port Mafia's power, there is also this secondary thought being woven in, of Mori having started to actually care for Dazai.

The teenager is scary to him, smart enough to be a threat should he decide to be done with all this and turn against him, and yet, he immediately (and with a hint of sadness) finds that Dazai reminds him of himself. This lonely, lonely man found a kindred spirit, bright enough to grasp any situation in seconds and prone to using an uncomfortable obsession to divert and keep you guessing his true intentions. Mori entered Mentor Mode™ then. He taught Dazai his ways, he shared his struggles and thought process, he fought tooth and nail to keep him alive.

So when he asked Dazai why he wanted to die, it was with the concern of someone who has started to care. It was with the mind of someone who is trying to prevent the worst by fixing the problem at its source.

(translation: Reneray)

But it's also that self-projection/ability to relate that made him drive Dazai away, when he pushed too hard and forced Dazai to adhere to his optimal solution philosophy. Because Dazai cannot separate himself from his attachments, could not ignore his emotions like Mori does, and chose Oda over Mori's logic. From Dazai's point of view, that was betrayal. Mori and him were accomplices!

Dazai planted the idea that Mori was afraid of him taking over as boss, and Mori seems to agree with that thought (would it be because he feared for his life, or for Dazai's ability to replace him?) Yet, for a man afraid of his closest subordinate backstabbing him, he seems to be hanging on quite hard to the possibility of Dazai coming back, leaving his seat open to this day, inviting him back twice in the same arc, and...

(yeah I used this picture at the start too. "I hAvE nO rEgReTs" he says)

Mori may try to convince himself he feels no regrets and no guilt over his own actions by weighting gains and losses objectively, but he still hurts and has a very hard time moving on. He's human despite his best efforts, prone to mistakes and doubts. He's lonely and wishes to impart his knowledge onto others. His cold logic has both helped him in fixing the city, and alienated him from some of the people he most cared about.

In a similar vein, should the ADA employee transfer be of topic again, and should Mori clash with Yosano again, I wish we get to see some similar conflicting emotions in Mori between the usefulness of Yosano's ability, and Yosano herself as a person. The war was 14 years ago, that's a long time, and I want to believe that counts for something.

[winepresswrath]

sudden yearning for time travelling teen jiang fengmian lands at lotus pier fic that winds up being about a perfectly nice kid having a varying series of "oh no. i don't like that. that's a lot" reactions.

[ineed-to-sleep]

THEY BROUGHT BABY TO THE BATTLE?? THEY ARMOURED BABY??? THEY EXPECT ME TO SEND BABY TO FIGHT?????

^ my face when I discover they expect me to send baby to fight

[neverevan]

GUYS YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS, BUT WE FINALLY WON!!

[lucy-ghoul]

can't believe a show based on a videogame (usually games adaptations are notoriously bad, which isn't the case here tho) gave me the beauty and the beast/twisted mirrors/enemies to traveling companions/ruthless antihero+optmistic but still badass heroine who takes none of his shit/age gap but make it sexy dynamic of my dreams. as much as i love maximus and i think he deserves the best writing ever because 1. he's a clever deconstruction of the aspiring Knight bro who's actually a bit of a loser and, as much as lucy, sees the world in black&white at first and then doesn't get what he thought he wanted but what he needs (or at least i hope he'll eventually get it), and 2. he's a cutie and i want an epic love story for him too, it's very funny how they tried to give us a puppy kind of romance and the tumblr girlies still fixated on the "toxic ~she bites his finger off and he cuts hers off and sews it on his hand in what we'll pretend it's a symbolic marriage rings exchange or whatever~ asshole who used to be a nice guy/good girl™ with a lot of spunk and hidden anger but unshakeable morals" kind of relationship.

[mintjeru]

judgment

open for better quality | no reposts

[frunbuns]

There's something so bittersweet about the childhood flashbacks in tua. They were all children together. Reginald was horrible, but they had each other. And then everything went to shit. Five's 13 year old body a bitter reminder of what once was. His siblings in their adult bodies a reminder of how things should've been. God,,,,

[mikuni14]

The tags left under my review of first ep of WG by @italianpersonwithashippersheart inspired me to write about what I immediately thought about Dee: this boy is inexperienced when it comes to sex (although I don't think he's a "novice" in this matter) and he draws on all his knowledge - despite this that he's a doctor 😭 - from, um, pop culture? 😂 His behavior indicates that he's under the influence of a mixture of music videos of modern female rappers, old-fashioned porn watched secretly during his adolescence years and BL series (he wiped the food off my mouth = clearly it's love), because if not, the poor guy has watched hair metal bands from 80's, because of the way he draped himself over the door in this scene

honey, you're not the hot girl from the Whitesnake MV! 😭

Dee is inexperienced, or very naive with a touch of delulu, and despite everything, childish in these matters (sorry, I will insist on this 😘). Because Kao somehow managed to flawlessly point out the loopholes in Dee's reasoning, tried to help him and warned him many times, and he also leads a conscious love life himself - and they're both of a similar age! How clueless Dee is when it comes to matters of sex is proven by the fact that what he took away from the whole conversation with Ter was not that he didn't like him "like that" and that Ter was straight, but that he, Dee, was vanilla 😭

That's why I'm curious whether Dee will be shown as someone who has had sexual partners before but still has no actual experience, or whether he "saved himself for Ter for 8 years". And how his "sexual journey" will unfold with the right partner 😚

[notachair]

Since atla is again having an extra surge of popularity, I'm shooting my shot:

[ID: (Rest of image description in alt). At the bottom of the image sits the text: "Zuko: Okay. Well, I can't remember how it starts, but the punchline is "leaf me alone, I'm bushed."" ID end].

Did we ever find out what the setup for this joke was? I feel kinda haunted by it. If not- anyone wanna make their best or worst guesses?

edit: I now know what "I'm bushed" mean, but go ahead anyway 👍

haunted thoughts in tags ↓

[deoidesign]

something that makes me sad is when people tell me the healthy communication in my writing is "unrealistic."

like guys this is how me and my partner talk with eachother... I'm writing from personal experience...

[mymarifae]

i think the most important thing in the world is vbs being best friends who love each other so much and are super affectionate with each other like. listen to me:

- when toya hugs kohane he'll pick her up a tiny bit (a tiny bit is all he can manage. noodle arms) and she squeals with delight every time

- toya just really likes hugs in general. it's suuuuper common for him to just come up behind akito or an or kohane and wrap his arms around them and lean his head against theirs. hello and goodbye hugs with him always last a good 20 seconds because he won't let go sdjfjsnfkd

- kohane loooooves to tuck her hand in the crooks of her teammates' elbows while they're walking together. this way she won't get lost <3 sometimes she'll hold onto like, akito's elbow with one hand and an's with the other. it's very cute. and as vbs has grown closer, she's started to switch to hand holding. (don't tell anyone but akito's her favorite to hold hands with because he swings their arms as they walk and it's cute)

- also, kohane's hair tends to be messy because of her damn hats and this bugs akito so he spends a lot of time fussing over it. he'll just sort of...tug her closer and take out the pigtails and comb through it with his fingers. at some point she starts packing a brush in her bag to placate him. i like to think akito knows how to do hair because ena will sometimes make him do hers so after a while he stops just rebrushing kohane's hair and starts pulling it up in different ways... braiding it... etc... and he starts keeping things like hairspray in His bag. yknow. jic

- the hairstyling extravaganza extends to an and toya too. (i mean there's only so much akito can do with toya but he tries...) it's a calming thing for him - fiddling with his teammates' hair as they plan setlists or wait backstage. and having your hair played with is always nice <3

- i think shortly after teaming up an started giving kohane little kisses on the cheek. not as a romantic gesture - just simple affection! and after a while, she starts kissing toya and akito too. toya is always happy to lean down so she can pepper his face with little platonic kisses, but she usually has to wrestle akito. it's all in good fun and he'll always relent and let her kiss him in the end

- speaking of platonic kisses, i ALSO think that akito gives toya little kisses from time to time. it started back when they were still BAD DOGS. toya wasn't having a great time one night and after soothing him with a good sturdy hug, akito kissed the top of his head. it completely floored toya and akito blew up when he realized what he did. and they never fucking talked about it <3 but since toya didn't seem MAD about it, akito decided to stick with it and kept giving toya kisses like that. it's not common, and he ONLY does it when they're alone. except for when they make up after their little divorce arc in the main story. IGNORE the gunjo sanka mv and listen to me. they HUG after their heart to heart. and akito kisses toya's cheek. right around where he punched him

- but an's overaffectionate nature kind of rubs off on akito after a while. so he becomes less stingy when it comes to kisses and starts giving them to kohane and an too <3

- they lean against each other while sitting like kohane might cuddle into toya's side or an goes and lays her head on akito's shoulder

- and they have sleepovers and they fall asleep comfortably tangled up together (or not comfortably. at all. seriously cuddling while sleeping can get so uncomfy but it's worth it to be so close to someone you love). ken's taken quite a few adorable (and sometimes really funny) pictures of all four of them passed out on piles of blankets and futons. just dad things

i could go on forever it's just. platonic affection is so important to me and it's so frequently Ignored in fandom spaces. and in the case of vbs and the prsk fandom specifically, there's a tendency to separate vbs into akitoya VS anhane. which is so 💔 because the whole POINT of their story is that while they started off as separate duos, that's no longer the case! they've become such good friends. they're inseparable.

like even jokes about akito and an being "wlw and mlm hostility" are starting to wear on me because... they're friends, guys. they're incredibly close. akito is always looking out for an and is right by her side to support her through all the shit she's currently struggling with. there's no "hostility" present in their relationship. like, if you actually look at the game's text, an... rarely teases akito. the person who teases him the most is actually toya but you know... whatever... gotta reduce an down to a mean lesbian amirite... completely ignoring that she's one of the kindest characters in the whole game...

idk. i juuuuuust wish that this fandom wasn't so defensive and obsessive over shipping akitoya and anhane (mostly akitoya while anhane is a second thought but YOU KNOW) because it results in so many people watering down vbs as individuals And as pairs - because all they care about is shipping. like i promise that the other dynamics in vbs are worth exploring (both platonicallyand romantically but too much of this fandom still feels threatened by m/f vbs ships). and hell, explore akitoya and anhane on a platonic level, too! don't just jump to shipping them because teehee boyxboy and girlxgirl. take the time to understand what draws them together in the first place

i love friendship. i love when friends outwardly express their affection for each other and it doesn't have to have any romantic implications. can we talk about friendship for once like this game is literally The Ultimate Friendship Simulator feat. Hatsune Miku