#I'm always spewing words haha

[uglypastels]

okok I've had this idea brewing in my filthy mind for a few days so imagine sanji discovering camgirl! Strawhat reader and becomes kinda obsessed?? Maybe one day she wears something of his(maybe a ring or his shirt) live and he goes absolutely feral and has his way with her??😵😵💫

I took out the camgirl aspect because I just wasn't sure how to incorporate it into the universe?? (I'm still new to it, so trying to figure out the dos and don'ts haha.) but I hope it's still good.

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warning: 18+ content. MDNI. simp sanji. masturbation. suggestive language and actions. light biting.

Laundry Day.

'Can someone remind me again whose brilliant idea it was to fight the giant squid?' You looked down at yourself, stiff as a board, as you felt every inch of your body to be sticky with black ink.

When you looked up again, the rest of the crew had all found a sudden interest in the most mundane parts of the ship, not daring to meet your deadly glare.

'Thought so,' you mumbled. 'I'm gonna go change.' Awkwardly, you made your way downstairs to the bathroom to try and wash off the black goo the sea monster had spewed onto you. You scrubbed for what felt like an hour, with the stains just never seeming to seize. The water poured down your body, slowly turning from a black abyss into a drabby grey until it finally recovered to its natural clear state, and the smell of fish was exchanged for your hair conditioner and body scrub.

stupid. fucking. squid. You kicked around your thoughts as you got out of the shower, nearly falling over in the process.

Too tired to cross the ship to your room, you instead walked to the small laundry cabin that was next to the bathroom and picked up the first pair of shorts you found and a button-up shirt to throw on.

You had thought it was one of yours, always being fond of having some larger piece of attire to throw over a short sleeve, but you soon realised your mistake when you entered the kitchen.

Sanji was in the middle of setting some water to boil, glancing up at you from his work with a soft smile. That smile then quickly froze in what you could only describe as a shock.

'I know I look like a mess,' you sighed, reaching over to the cupboard where the crew kept their hardest liquor. The day just called for a shot. Or three.

'Not the words I would use.' Sanji said, the clicking of the gas stove intercepting him, 'Is that- is that my shirt?'

You glanced down, noticing the blue striped pattern on the material and the actual tailoring of the shirt as opposed to the ones you were used to wearing.

You cursed under your breath. 'Sorry. I'll go change.' You began unrolling the sleeves, already seeing how they started to crease.

'No,' Sanji coughed out. 'It's fine. Honestly.'

'You sure?' You looked up at him apprehensively, but he just shrugged and continued on cooking.

You poured yourself a drink and made yourself comfortable opposite Sanji, enjoying the show that was his meal prep.

'Where's everyone else?' you asked as he began chopping up vegetables.

'Uhm, probably sleeping off the squid,' he chuckled, focused on the ingredients. As he kept going, you realised his answers kept getting shorter and shorter with each question. What usually would be full of quips and flirtatious remarks was cut down, blunt, like the edge of a dull knife.

And at first you had brushed it aside as him concentrating on his craft, but the longer he cooked, the more noticeable it was how he avoided your gaze. Even when talking, he didn't dare look up.

'Are you really ok with me wearing this?' You asked eventually when he was done and washing his hands in the sink.

'Of course, darlin',' he wiped his hands on a towel. He was about to turn around, but you saw the moment as your chance and swiftly slithered by his side. He stumbled back slightly in surprise.

'So why have you been ignoring me for the past hour?'

'I haven't,' he slipped by you elegantly and got to packing up the prepared food into storage boxes.

'But you have-- you didn't even look at me until now.'

'Sorry, sweetheart. I was working.' Usually, his saying something like that would make you think things were back to normal, but he seemed nervous, and before you could say anything else, he excused himself to his cabin.

Confused and a bit flustered at the sudden departure, you stood in the kitchen for a moment. You had planned on going upstairs, to get some fresh air, when Luffy stormed into the room.

'Ah!' he exclaimed, 'glad to see you're back to your ink-free self.'

'Yeah, thanks, Luf.' You took another shot quickly and watched as the captain raided all the cupboards. 'Watcha looking for there?'

'The tangerine cookies that Sanji made yesterday. There should still be some here.' He stretched his arm out to pat around the back of the highest drawer.

'You sure you didn't eat them yet?'

'Nooo,' Luffy looked at you sternly. 'Because I put them there specifically so I wouldn't eat them earlier.'

'Right,' you nodded. 'Well, Sanji had been busy around here, prepping lunch for tomorrow; maybe he moved some things around,' you suggested. 'You could go and ask him.'

'Aaah, I could,' Luffy wavered, 'but I was hoping to do this without Sanji's help.'

'Did he ban you from the kitchen again?' After the last incident of Lufft stuffing himself full of snacks right before dinner, the cook had given him strict orders not to eat an hour before meals. Looking at the clock, you could see it was closing in on dinner time.

Luffy scoffed, which only confirmed your assumptions. With a sigh, you got up. 'Fine, I'll ask him. But he might be asleep, you know.'

'Thanks. You're the best.' Luffy said, arm the length of the room as he opened cupboard after cupboard. You just rolled your eyes and made your way to Sanji's cabin.

'Hey, Sanji,' you knocked softly, unsure if he had maybe decided to take a nap. With no response from the other side of the door, you tried again. You thought to just let it go and leave him be, but then you heard the clashing of the pans in the kitchen, followed by a Luffy 'I'm ok!' and knew that you needed an answer for your captain. These were desperate times.

'Hey, Sanji,' you opened the door. The only thing you had really seen was the shape of his body splayed out on the bed, and it was more of an instinct or a gut reaction that told you that you should not look any further. So, quickly apologising, you shut the door again as Sanji cursed out in shock at the door opening.

'Sorry!' You shouted through the door, simultaneously trying to comprehend the blurs of your vision and trying to forget anything you might have seen. He wasn't... no, that wasn't... no.

There was some stumbling coming from his room, followed by a few more curse words. You didn't know why you were still standing beside his door, but he certainly didn't expect you to have stayed there, and so, when he entered the corridor, your bodies practically collided.

'I didn't see anything!' You blurted out before Sanji could say anything. Both your faces were wide in horror. 'I swear- I just,' you made the mistake of taking his appearance in. His shirt was untucked from his trousers, belt unbuckled and hanging at his sides. Oh god. 'I just... I was wondering where the tangerine cookies were. The ones you made yesterday.'

He was still hard. Most of it was hidden by the layers of clothing, but there was no denying it. You did your best to keep your eyes on his face as he listened to you blurt out words like a maniac, but it sure was difficult as all the puzzle pieces came together.

'They should be in the left cabinet, bottom shelf. Behind the baking ingredients. I hid them so Luffy wouldn't eat them before dinner.'

'Good thinking,' you laughed, probably a bit too loud for the situation, but the nerves were getting worse by the second. 'Well, bye then.' And with that, you ran off to the kitchen, leaving Sanji in all his unspeakable glory behind.

In the kitchen, you were met with Luffy picking up the pans he had dropped and Nami looking at him with what could only be described as disappointment. Without acknowledging them, you walked over to the left cabinet, opened the bottom half of it and searched the bottom shelf for the box of leftover cookies, slamming them onto the counter. Luffy immediately lunged forward to them, oblivious to your shocked state, but the navigator was a bit more perceptive.

'What happened to you?' she asked, declining the offer of a cookie from the captain, who already had two in his mouth.

'Nothing,' you shook your head.

'You look like you've seen a ghost.'

'I didn't! I didn't see anything!' Nope, nothing at all. You definitely did not see that. Or how big it was... or how his hand looked wrapped around it... or his face when he- NO.

'Hey, is that Sanji's shirt?' Now, Luffy decided to be observant. You looked down at your shirt as if you had only now noticed what you were wearing.

'Oh, I guess it is.'

'He must be having a field day with that,' Nami snickered, to which you looked at her confused. She, in turn, rolled her eyes 'Like you haven't seen the way he looks at you on a regular day.'

'I- no?' you blinked, trying to grapple with what she was talking about.

Nami just shrugged before grabbing the last cookie from Luffy's hand and walking out of the room. If you thought he would be aware of anything that you had just talked about, you would have asked the captain if he knew what Nami meant by her comments but instead just contemplated on it all by yourself.

Against all your survival instincts, you walked back in the direction of Sanji's door and knocked again. This time loud and clear. There was shuffling coming from the other side, and a second later, the door opened to reveal Sanji. His lips were pulled in a tight line of a smile as he looked down at you.

'Hey, can I come in?' you asked softly.

'What?' Sanji asked before the initial question properly connected in his mind. 'Uhh, I don't think that's a great idea.'

'Sanj, we should talk about what happened earlier.'

'Do we, though?' His voice raised in pitch nervously, but you just glared up at him, unimpressed.

'Sanji, please just let me come inisde.' You pushed out any thought that just burst through your mind that did not have to do with the current situation, but it was hard to see the images of what you saw in his room before were still very much playing over and over in your head.

In the end, Sanji gave in and opened the door for you. As you walked in, he stayed behind you, hand running nervously through his hair, as he spoke: 'Listen, I'm really sorry about... everything that happened today, really.'

'You have nothing to be sorry for.' You turned to face him. 'I'm the one that stole your shirt and stormed into your room unannounced.' It was his room. He had the right to do whatever he pleased in it.

Sanji laughed awkwardly, looking away to the far side of the room, but even then, you caught how his eyes glanced and slightly lingered over your body. The blue-striped shirt still hanging over it.

You, in the meantime, fought the urge to look at his body, combined with the memory of what you had caught him doing.

Maybe it was the few shots you had taken earlier to forget about the giant squid attack that instead did nothing you had hoped for but only made you bolder as you asked: 'were you thinking about me?'

'What?'

'You know, earlier. When I walked in. Were you... thinking of me?'

'Shit, don't make me say it.' He combed his fingers through his hair. You walked over to him, closing the gap between you lightly.

'Why not?'

'Because I don't want to make things weird between us.' His jaw clenched as you came towards him, and you couldn't help but laugh at what he had to say.

'Oh, it's definitely too late for that now. Things are already weird.'

'Super weird, aren't they?' he asked softly, strangely intensely.

And so, when you responded, your agreeing words were only as hushed as he had been, too focused on each other's proximity. The two of you stood there, frozen between actions, taking each other's bodies in at the new lack of distance until Sanji took the final step over the edge, kissing you with his hands on cupping your cheeks.

You stumbled back at the force, steadying yourself when you caught onto the shirt he was wearing. One of his hands moved down to your waist, guiding you to his bed until the back of your knees hit the wood, and you lightly fell back.

Sanji placed himself over you, and as his weight pressed over you, you could feel his hard-on through his trousers. A curse fell from his lips when you reached for it and your fingertips moved over the material.

'You've been drivin' me insane the whole day, walkin' around in that shirt.' He said as he began leaving a trail of kisses down your neck.

'Figured,' you couldn't but be a bit smug about it, which he did not seem to appreciate given the pinch of his teeth you felt on your sensitive skin.

You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him even closer to you, trying to get some, friction out of the movement as he pressed himself against you.

'Cocky are we?' He smiled into his kisses, and at this point, all you could do was nod in agreement.

Sanji kept himself up over you with one hand as he used the other to unzip your shorts. One-handed and without a clear view, taking them off turned out to be a bit more of a challenge, far more awkward than expected when you tried to shuffle out of them, but his touch on your skin made up for it by tenfold.

You were about to make a start on unbuttoning the shirt you were wearing when Sanji stopped you. 'No, keep it on.' and kissed you before you could make any other snarky remark on his behalf. But when he pulled away again, though slightly dazed by the passion, you still managed to comment.

'If this is the treatment I receive for stealing your clothes, I might just do it more often.'

To this, Sanji groaned through his teeth. 'You're gonna be the death of me, sweetheart, I swear.

[blossomwritesthings]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞

pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader (afab)

genre: dark academia college au. nonidol!hyunjin. enemies to lovers // academic rivals. angst. reader pov. smut - MDNI, 18+ only.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. mild thematic elements. kindaa toxic relationship between hyunjin and reader since they're enemies in uni. ANGST!! reader comes from a poor background and hyunjin is the uni dean's prodigy son. smut warnings below cut!!

word count: 10.6k (enjoy you filthy animals 😈)

summary: ever since you started studying at korean national university of arts in seoul, hwang hyunjin, the other top student of the school and the dean's son, has been an absolute thorn in your ass. although, it turns out that not all thorns are necessarily bad.

18+ warnings: dom!hyunjin x sub!reader. unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, friends). fingering. dirty thoughts/fantasies are mentioned. degradation (whore, slut, bitch, etc). pet names (baby girl, sweetheart, doll face, etc). LOTS of hair pulling. BIG ownership/possession kink. breeding kink!!!. overstimulation. orgasm control. nipple/breast play. lots of dirty talk. subspace. loud sex. manhandling. humiliation kink. exhibitionism (fucking in a public library).

a/n: first of all, i'd just like to give a BIG shoutout to my dear friend @ahactress, for giving me the initial prompt to this about a month ago haha- without your help, I wouldn't be here right now honey!! 🤭💙 also, i'm sending all my love to my beautiful bestie @h0p3l3ssromantic, for encouraging me with her pretty words and her endless love... girl, you RULE and ilysm!!! 😫❤️ I don't know if it's public knowledge around these parts, but my dms on all my sns platforms are ALWAYS open for ya'll to spew your ramblings about my work haha - hmu on twt babes, I'm always down to chat~ ✨

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). do not copy, spin-off, or write inspired work based off of this fanfic without full permission to do so. ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

  The moment you saw the dark, heavy clouds swirling low in the sky as you walked to your Survey of Humanities class, you knew that the day was going to be a shitty one. Already, you had woken up with a raging headache from the all-nighter you had pulled the day before to finish all of your homework for the following week. 

 Besides, it was a Monday too, and you fucking hated Mondays. 

 For one thing, the start of the new week always meant being bombarded with loads of assignments from the four classes you were taking. Being a junior with a Liberal Arts major was not as easy as everyone thought it was — and you constantly felt like you could never catch up on all of the homework. 

 With two formal art classes, one on charcoal drawings and the other on watercolor techniques, and then two upperclassman Humanities classes, your schedule was packed with studying time. Sometimes, it was hard to even eat during the day, since you were so busy with your schoolwork. 

 But there was no way around it, no excuses that could be made. 

 You either continued to stay at the top of your classes, as one of the best students in your grade for your graduation year, or you didn’t. 

 Your mother didn’t sacrifice everything she had for you to fail so horribly at university. 

 So you were okay with the stress and deadlines. Because you wanted to make both her and yourself proud. 

 And yeah, maybe you also wanted to prove to your classmates that you could do it. 

 You especially wanted to brag about your success to a certain man… 

 Hwang Hyunjin. 

 He was slated to graduate in your same year and was studying Technical Art. And holy shit— was he an insufferable ass. Unfortunately, since the two of you shared such close majors, you had found yourself in one too many classes with him during your time at the Korean National University of Arts in Seoul. It also didn’t help that he was coined as one of the #1 students in the entire school, and did everything in his power to make everyone aware of this fact. 

 Especially you. 

 If he earned just two points more than you on an exam in the same class that you were taking together, he’d nonchalantly wave the white paper in front of you after the exam period, taunting you with his sly tongue and that cruel grin of his. 

 Most of the time, you managed to ignore his wicked teasing, sticking to yourself and your small group of study buddies. But on the rare occasion that he did get under your skin, you’d snap irrevocably and usually land yourself in the Dean’s office. 

 But of course, Hyunjin was also there because — news flash — he was the son of the fucking Dean of the university. 

 Usually, the meetings after your blowups were casual and spoken in soft voices, with Dean Hwang recounting the school’s long integrity policy to you, which you had already memorized in the back of your head after your third visit to his office. The entire time the Dean reminded you of how your ‘behavior was uncalled for in the situation,’ Hyunjin would be standing in the corner of his father’s office, arms folded across his chest and canting his head to the side as he studied you with a pleased little devilish sneer on his face. 

 After every single one of the meetings, he’d always try to catch up to you outside of his father’s office. This usually landed in you cursing him out under your breath and telling him to fuck off before you retreated into the shadows of one of the many hallways. 

 And as it just so happened, your Survey of Humanities class also had a certain raven-haired man constantly sitting in the farthest seat from the front of the lecture hall. 

 It was almost comical how good-looking he was, coupled with his genius brain. Because as much as you wanted to deny it, you couldn’t ignore the fact that he was incredibly smart… in both the arts and all other forms of academics. He aced every single quiz and exam he was given, got 100s on every technical art research essay he wrote, and was involved in practically every club there was on campus. 

 The girls of your grade fawned all over him, and even the freshmen were weak to his looks whenever he’d pass them in the hallway. He looked right out of an early 2000s fashion magazine, with his model-like physic, long, shaggy black hair that perfectly framed his face and curled at the nape of his neck, not to mention the expensive designer clothes he was always seen in. 

 You had never seen him dress like the other guys of his same age — had never seen him clad in a pair of baggy grey sweatpants and a worn oversized graphic tee. Instead, he rolled up to the curb of the university in his cherry red 2023 Rolls Royce, dressed to the nines in fitted coats, light-washed designer jeans, and crisp white button-downs. 

 Hwang Hyunjin had been the school’s ultimate heartthrob for as long as you could remember, and you had heard rumors of the kind of things he did with his lovers — taking his girlfriends out to expensive restaurants in the heart of the city, before bringing them back to his luxurious apartment and fucking them late into the night. Usually, you tended to ignore the dating and sex part of your arch nemeses' life, and instead just focused on beating him at his own game of academics. 

 And during that early Friday morning in the middle of October, as you strolled through the doors of the lecture hall and your eyes scanned over the students already seated, you caught sight of him.

 Dressed in a casual, brown turtleneck and dark-washed jeans, he looked like he had just walked straight out of an autumn edition of GQ Men. He was seated in his usual place, legs crossed and hands busy scribbling away notes on his iPad. As you floated beside him and towards your seat at the very back of the hall, you caught the scent of him — a mix of earthy musk and dark roasted coffee beans. 

 He didn’t pay you the time of day as you flitted past him and took out your notebooks once you were seated down. Thankfully, he seemed to be choosing the route of ignoring you for the day, much to your relief. 

 Soon, the professor strode into the lecture hall and began the class. For a while, he droned on about the midterm that all of the students had taken the week before, and how he was impressed with the class’ results. “Although, two students in particular outshined everyone else,” he began, his eyes scanning the lecture hall until they landed on Hyunjin seated just two rows before you. “Hyunjin, excellent work — it’s quite rare that I see a student score a 100 on the midterm,” then his focus was floating upward and landing on you. “Y/N, you’re short essay for the midterm was superb, and your choice of art analysis was a very unique one for sure.” 

 Just as the professor was focusing back on the rest of the course material, you could sense someone’s gaze trained on you. Staring forward, you caught a glimpse of him shooting you a snarky grin. You glared daggers into his skull, just wishing that he’d get shot in the foot and keel over in pain at that moment. 

 He always liked to gloat when he got a higher score than you on the tests, and you both knew that he had done better on the test overall — since the professor only mentioned his 100 and not yours. But apparently, your midterm essay was a hell of a lot better than his. 

 Sticking out your tongue at him playfully, you rolled your eyes before folding your arms across your chest and turning your attention back on the slides that the professor was ticking through. Hyunjin got under your skin so much he sometimes felt like a fucking disease — burrowed so deeply inside your veins, it was almost impossible to cut out the hatred. 

 “For this week’s assignment, you guys will be paired up into groups of two to create a joint presentation on the topic of ‘The Descent into Madness,’” As soon as you heard the professor mention splitting the class into groups, you felt your heart leap inside your chest. You only hoped that you wouldn’t be paired up with him. “Using your textbooks as a guideline, I want all of you to choose one specific piece of art from any period you want and conduct deep research into the mad aspects of it — dive into as much detail about the formal elements as you’d like, but make sure to follow the grading rubric and cite all academic sources. I’ve posted the list of paired groups on the bulletin board up here near the projector, so make sure to check it before you leave class today.” 

 You tuned out all other information the professor gave about the week’s assignment, too focused on seeing who you were paired with. As soon as he dismissed class, you were shooting up from your seat and hoisting your heavy tote bag across your shoulder. 

 Flitting down the stairway, you made it to the bulletin board before all of the other students did. They were idling around because no one gave two shits about who they were paired with. No one except for you. 

 “Please, please, please—” You prayed in a whispered tone under your breath as your eyes scanned the matched columns of students. When you came upon your name and saw who was next to it, it felt like the ground at your feet had opened right up and sucked you in entirely. “Fuck my life.” Heart dropping into the pit of your stomach, your palm squeezed a little tighter around the strap of your bag. 

 “Oh shit— looks like the professor decided to give you a fighting chance by pairing you up with the best student in the entire school.” You heard Hyunjin’s silky voice say from somewhere behind you. 

 Swinging around on your heels, you caught a glimpse of his sardonic, wide smirk, as his eyes scanned the look of sheer anger on your face. Giving a dry, humorless chuckle, he shoved his hands into his pockets and canted his head to the side in a quizzical kind of way. 

 “We’re only going to ace this project because of me— and let’s be clear here, I’m the better writer out of the two of us.” You said in a low voice, pointing an accusing finger at him in utter disgust. You could feel your brows pulling together from the rage that was building up inside of you. And all from the thought of being forced to work with him. 

 “Yeah, but I’m the better test taker.” 

 “Fuck you.” 

 Hyunjin chuckled wickedly, the tip of his blush pink tongue coming out and wetting a corner of his plush bottom lip. “Oh honey, I’m sure you wish you could.” 

 Already, you could tell that he was egging you on. Trying to get your goad so that you’d explode and be dragged to the Dean’s office. So that he could stare down at you with that same smug look on his face as his precious little daddy rattled off the university’s code of conduct. 

 Well fuck that bullshit. 

 Seeing too much red, you decided to excuse yourself from the equation before you said something horrible that got you sent into the Dean’s office again or even worse — kicked from the class. 

 “I’ll see you on Monday night at ten in the library,” you said in finality, squinting your eyes up at him and just wishing you could wring your hands around his perfect little neck. “Don’t be late.” 

 “I don’t take orders from you, sweetheart.” 

 “For now you sure fucking do.” 

 Then you were turning around and pushing out of the lecture hall, practically running down the corridor as fast as you could, heart pounding in your chest because… what the hell were you going to do? 

 That entire weekend leading up to the Monday night that you planned to spend with Hyunjin, you just about lost your mind over the worry of it all. Would he continue to be an asshole to you the entire time? Would he work well with you and compromise on things? How would everything go? 

 You were so stressed about the entire thing that you practically drove your roommate Felix insane with annoyance. Late Sunday morning, when you were making circles around your living room couch as you stressed about everything, he finally burst out in a loud outcry. 

  “Y/N! You seriously need to take a chill pill, you’re going to run holes right into the fucking carpet!” He said in an exasperated tone, muting the show that he was watching on the large flatscreen TV. 

 Peering up at him with wide, guilty eyes, you offered him a meek smile. “I’m sorry, Lix— it’s just… you know how much I hate Hyunjin and I—” 

 Felix rolled his eyes at you, completely fed up with your bullshit at that moment. “Yes, yes, I know. You’ve told me about a million times at this point. But like… don’t let it get to you, yeah? Just go out there and do your very best,” his eyes flitted back to the TV as he un-muted his show. “I mean… how bad could working with Hwang Hyunjin really be? Besides you, he’s one of the top students in the entire school.” 

 But he didn’t know Hyunjin like you did. 

 No one did. 

 They didn’t see the cruel side to him, the mean side. 

 They didn’t hear the words he’d mumble to you with venom after a big test or the taunting he’d throw your way if you one-upped him in some way. 

 Others didn’t see the dark looks he’d give you after classes or the way he’d practically talk behind your back each time you passed him in the hallway — whispering to his groupies and making all the guys chuckle heartily. 

 So yeah, working with him was a pretty fucking big deal. 

 Nonetheless, you took Felix’s advice and tried to relax as much as you could before the start of the new week. You studied the material that you wanted to research for the project, deciding to focus on Hamlet’s Ophelia for your analysis. 

 And if Hyunjin didn’t want to go with that character, well… too bad.

 By the time Monday night rolled around, you felt more prepared than ever before and stepped into the Library’s main doors with settled ease. The university’s library was your favorite place on campus and had been the location for many of your long night study sessions over your time in school. With its dark gothic architecture outside and its sweeping gables, it was a true sight to behold. Not to mention the cozy atmosphere of the interior — all of the cozy nooks and crannies of the place, filled with warm candlelight and large chandeliers and settees made everything feel so mysterious and relaxing. 

 You strode through the isles filled with books, noticing how it was almost empty of any other student. That’s why you liked coming to the place late at night because it was relatively devoid of life and incredibly quiet. And you liked the quiet — it made it easy for you to focus on your studies. Finally, you stumbled upon a spacious table tucked into the very corner of one part of the place on the upper floor, with a large bay window just in front of the wooden table. 

 With a glance outside the pane, you noticed how the darkening sky had opened up to reveal a sheet of heavy rain — it pelted down on the few students that were passing by the outside of the library on the sidewalk there, as they ran for cover. Methodically, you brought out your supplies — booting up your laptop and positioning your notebook and pens just so. 

 Checking your phone, the screen flashed that it was fifteen minutes past ten o’clock already. Was he not even planning on showing up? Was he going to completely bail on you and instead take you down by sabotaging the entire thing? 

As you sat down in one of the cushiony, velvet-lined chairs, your mind began to race with all of the possibilities of what Hyunjin might be stewing up to take you down. 

 Then, almost like your thoughts had summoned him, you heard footsteps at your back and turned to see Hyunjin rounding the corner of the tall bookshelves that were lined on either side of your chosen table. With one glance at him, you noticed the soaked-through fabric of his tan coat and the way his dark hair curled around the nape of his neck with moisture. He must’ve gotten caught in the rain and that’s why he was late. 

 “I thought you were going to bail on me entirely.” 

 Giving you a swarthy look, he plopped down into the seat just across from you and threw his heavy book bag atop the table. “Good evening to you as well.” He grumbled, slipping off his coat and showcasing the wetness hidden just underneath there. His light, cream-colored button-down was almost sheer from the rainwater… highlighting his muscular shoulder blades and the tips of his pecks. 

 “Didn’t you know it was supposed to rain heavily tonight?” 

 Not even paying you another glance, he focused on pulling out his supplies. “I’m not the fucking weatherman, I don’t regularly check up on shit like that.” 

 “Well, you should— maybe you wouldn’t ruin so many of your precious, rich boy clothes if you did.” 

 At that, his hands stopped moving and he stared up at you with slitted eyes. Giving your own choice of outfit a long once over, the corner of his mouth ticked up. “Well damn— are you jealous or something?” You weren’t particularly dressed up, opting for a comfortable pair of black sweatpants and a warm violet turtleneck top.

 “Let’s just focus on getting to work.” You shot back, hands typing away at your computer keyboard. “Did you figure out a piece you want to analyze?” 

 “Yeah, Hamlet’s Ophelia.” 

 His words were silky and smooth against your ears, but his answer is what got you shooting your gaze up to his again. Mouth dropping open a little bit in surprise, you cleared your throat from the sudden quietness between you. “Oh— uhm, I was thinking the same,” you began, opening up the Word document that you had already started working on that past weekend. “It would probably be a good idea to study Hamlet’s character too since he's the catalyst of her problems.” 

 “No, he isn’t. She already had them to begin with — he just heightened their outcome.” 

 You were so taken aback by his comment, that it took a few seconds for your brain to process everything. But when it finally clicked, you were gaping up at him in astonishment. “I’m sorry, what? You’re going to blame her for the fact that Hamlet was the sole cause of it all?” Your voice was steadily rising, as you began to get irritated by his suggestion. 

 Hyunjin shrugged nonchalantly, as he scribbled down a few things in his notebook. “I mean, yeah. She already had a history of mental disorders, her death was bound to happen anyway.” He matched your tone, words growing louder and ringing out across the small expanse of the library that the two of you were in. 

 “I seriously cannot believe you right now.” You began, shaking your head in anger as you tried to focus on your bright computer screen again. But his argument just rubbed you the wrong way entirely, and you found yourself speaking up again. “I didn’t realize how much of a fucking misogynist you were. But oh, wait— it’s perfectly clear now if the way you treat me is anything to go off of.”

 “I’m not a misogynist, Y/N.” The way his tone curled around the sound of your name did something funny to the depths of your soul. He had never called your name outright like that, never addressed you head-on. And it was both weird and oddly satisfying. “All I’m saying is that her descent into madness was pretty warranted since she was in an already heightened state of emotions.” 

 You gave him a deep glare, tilting your head to the side in annoyance. “Just say you hate women, it’s okay, Hyunjin. I won’t bug you about it.” 

 “Like hell, you won’t.” He mumbled under his breath, long fingers typing out something on his computer. 

 And that was enough to completely set you off. 

 There were no other students around, no professors to tell you off, and no Deans to harp on you about correct student conduct. 

 “Seriously, what the hell is your problem?! You’re so fucking annoying and a total piece of shit. I honestly have no idea how you’re at the top of the school when all you do is belittle others!” This time, you were shouting outright. Throwing him an ominous glare and shutting your computer with a resounding thud. 

 Hyunjin leaned back in his seat, lengthy arms folded across his chest as the rain pelted against the misty window just at his back. “Oh, and like you’re any better? You always love to shove your accomplishments in everyone else’s faces— you ever stop to think how that makes others feel?” He was yelling now too, stroking a hand through his long locks that were steadily dripping with tiny droplets of rainwater. 

 Shaking your head in disappointment, you took in a resounding deep breath. “I knew this was a bad idea. I knew you’d be an asshole the entire time and I knew we wouldn’t get any work done,” as you said the words, you were already gathering up your things, shoving them into your bag, and leveling him with a cold stare. “So let’s just forget it - this - okay? Just… work on it by yourself and then we can compile our info together the day of and—” 

 “Sit down, Y/N.” 

 The way his command slipped out from between his lips in a low, gravelly voice shook something loose deep within your very being. For a moment, you almost felt compelled to listen to him. Like under a mystical enchantment, your limbs wanted to move on their own accord and seat yourself down again. But the rational part of your brain overtook all other thoughts as you stood your ground and hovered just next to the table. 

 “You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not your daddy— you don’t have the authority of the Dean.” 

 For the last few moments, he hadn’t been looking at you, eyes instead trained on his computer still. Almost like, the entire ordeal didn’t bother him that much. Like you were a minor inconvenience to him in the grand scheme of his rich, privileged life. 

 But all at once, he was tipping his head towards the high rafters of the library’s ceiling, stare catching with yours. The stormy look you saw there, dancing around in his brown irises, forced your heart to leap in the pit of your throat. 

 “Don’t make me say it again.” 

 “I’m never going to listen to you, so tough luck, fucker.”

 Taking in a deep breath, his entire body shuddering with the motion, he held your gaze and motioned with a tilt of his head to the seat in front of him that you had just gotten up from. “Sit. Down.” 

 And like a single crack suddenly appearing in a delicate vase, your mind was losing all conscious thought and you were moving without any other thought. His seething, low tone overtook your entire system, his focus on you sending a shock of shivers up the length of your spine again and again, unrelenting. 

 “What?” You asked, noticing the surprised expression on his face from the way that you had fucking listened to him once, seated in your chair again. “I was tired of hearing your stupid demands.” 

 Hyunjin flipped through a few pieces of paper in his notebook before he pushed it your way. “Give that a look over, it’s the notes I took on Ophelia over the weekend.” The idea of him studying for the project just like you had done forced your mind to run rampant with all kinds of thoughts. Like, was he also stressing out about the meeting like you had been doing?

 “I already told you— we’re not working together.” 

 “For Christ’s sake, just give it up!” Hyunjin exclaimed in a loud voice, throwing his hands up into the air in mock defeat. “You act like this is the deciding project of our grade— it’s a fucking weekly assignment. All we have to do is our best, which will be pretty damn good if we’re both working on it.” 

 “So then you admit that I’m a good student.” You raised an eyebrow his way, fingers slowly taking ahold of his notebook and playing with the edges of the paper.

 Taking in a deep sigh, he pointed at the notebook in front of you. “Just focus— okay? I want to get as much work done as possible tonight.” 

 “Fine, but don’t blame me if we get a bad grade because we rush it.” You said, finally raising the white flag of surrender and taking in the contents of his notebook. The notes were detailed and insanely good, highlighting certain formal aspects of Ophelia’s character and the overarching themes of her madness. “Wow— this is… really good.” You said in a quiet voice, almost hoping that he wouldn’t hear it. 

 Rummaging through your nearby bag, you pulled out a pink highlighter to take some notes, and your chosen lollipop for the night, mango flavored. You liked to reward yourself with a fun treat of candy whenever you did late-night studying sessions since the sugar kept your energy levels high and helped to keep you focused. Ever since you were a little girl, you seemed to concentrate better when your mind wasn’t entirely on the content you were studying. 

 “I mean, I’m not coined as one of the school’s top students for nothing,” Hyunjin remarked in a sarcastic tone. You chose to ignore his comment and instead focus on his neat handwriting and the way his words fit in perfectly to the columns of the notebook paper. 

 Everything about him was perfect — from his looks to his academic success to his damn handwriting. Hell, what wasn’t he good at? 

 For one thing, being a nice fucking person. 

 And he seemingly couldn’t grasp the idea of how not to be an asshole to people he didn’t like.

 Unfortunately, you were categorized in his list of people that he hated. 

 As you flipped to the next page in his notebook, your tongue swirled around the lollipop in your mouth. The sugary sweetness of the artificial mango flavor coated your tongue deliciously, and it awakened all of your senses in the best way possible. The minutes seemed to tick by, as you began to make notes based on Hyunjin’s research from his notebook, turning away from the paper and typing into the Word document that you had started for the project.

 Faintly, in the back of your mind, you could hear Hyunjin’s soft inhales and exhales, as he focused on his research. All else was quiet in the library, what with it being completely void of life on a Monday at eleven at night. You could distinctly pick out the sounds of rainfall pitter-pattering just outside the large window behind Hyunjin’s seat, as the night drew on in a heavy mist of dew and moisture. 

 “Why do you hate me so much?” 

 Hyunjin’s words were faint and broke you out of your daze of thought. You had been frantically writing down some of your critiques about Ophelia as a character, and your head shot up from your computer to catch a glimpse of him staring back at you. 

 You didn’t know how long he had been like that, sitting back in his chair, long, raven hair a wavy mess around his face and eyes a little bleary from a mixture of sheer exhaustion and that… darkness that you could never quite pinpoint. You had only ever seen him direct such swarthy looks at you, and that fact disheartened you a lot.

 “I think the real question you should be asking is what’s not to hate about you.” You deadpanned, giving him a deep frown as you poked your lollipop into the corner of one of your cheeks, tucking it away for the moment. 

 Folding his arms across his chest in that abrasive way that he always did around you, he tilted his head to the side with a raised eyebrow. “Okay, spill the tea.” 

 Taking in a deep breath to stave off your rising nerves and irritation with the man before you, you carded a few fingers through your hair. “To start with, you’re a complete and total asshole.” 

 “I think we’ve already touched on this point by now.” 

 His retort left you to stare daggers into his eyes, wishing someone would just come up behind him and slit his throat because you sure did want to at that moment. But you also supposed that the Dean of the university wouldn’t take a liking to you murdering his son. 

 “Secondly, you’re always stuck up and hard-headed and annoying and… and immature.” 

 Hyunjin blew out a deep, long whisper. “Damn, spare my ego some, will ya?” 

 But you weren’t planning on stopping anytime soon. He had started the engine of the train, and now you were rolling down the tracks of sheer rising anger and all of the pent-up rage that you had felt towards him for the past three years. “And you’re right okay? I am fucking jealous. I’m so jealous of you that I can’t breathe sometimes— you haven’t had to work a day in your life for your position, yet I’ve had to scrape by on my hands and knees, clawing— begging at life to grant me just one fucking break.” You weren't even yelling. Instead, the words just come out hushed and all too grave. 

 Like, if anyone else but him heard them, you’d crumble into a pile of ash and disintegrate into thin air, never to be seen again. Because it was fucking embarrassing, to be so affected by him still, even after all of these years. 

 He stayed silent, watching as you flayed your hands around in the air in your exasperation. You were fed up with your life and the hold that he had over it. You were finally at your breaking point and you had had enough. 

 And you think that at that moment, he had also seen and acknowledged that, staying silent to let all of the words spew out of you like an erupting volcano that had been bound to blow from the very start. 

 “But you? You get everything handed to you on a pretty, silver platter because your daddy is wealthy and you're drop-dead gorgeous and practically have the brain of a neuroscientist. Meanwhile, I was raised by a poor single mother in the slums of Seoul and the only way I got into this university in the first place is because I busted my ass throughout middle and high school to earn the top student’s place,” you pointed a finger between the two of you. Almost like, the tip of it was sharp enough, you could cut right through him. Blade tearing through sinew and flesh and bones. “And then you dare to come around these parts, acting like you own everything, trying to put me in my place. When in reality, you’re the one that needs to be put in your place. Someone needs to knock you down a few pegs, and I’ve always thought… why not me?” 

 For a moment, nothing else happens after that. 

 And irrationally, you’re suddenly afraid of him. 

 Of what he might do — what he might say and to whom — with this newfound information about you. 

 Hardly anyone at school knew about your personal life and struggles. You tended to stay to yourself and instead focus on your studies instead of going out to late-night parties or hitting up the local clubs. And you were an extremely private person, to begin with. You saw no point in pouring out your life's sob story to people you would never see again after four years. 

 But all at once, you wondered if Hwang Hyunjin was a dangerous man. 

 If he was someone who would use your personal information against you. 

 And if the last three years were anything to go off of, you wouldn’t put it past him. 

 “Fuck— I shouldn’t have said all of that,” you grumbled, jamming your fingers into your eye sockets and scrubbing at your lids. “Just… forget all of this, yeah? Forget I said anything.” Then you were standing up from your seat for the second time that night, heart leaping in the pit of your chest as you once again gathered your things into your bag. “It’s late anyways. I should head home and keep studying for my other classes. We can meet up some other time for this, it’s not due til, what… Sunday? That gives us plenty of—”

 “Y/N.” Just like before, the sound of your name on his tongue caused you to pause entirely, limbs halting their movement of shoving your computer into your bag. “Just— shut up, yeah?” His voice came out softer than you expected it would, forcing a shiver down the length of your spine. 

 “Don’t call me that.” 

 “Don’t call you what?” 

 “Y/N.” 

 “Why, because it makes you feel things?” He asked in a gravelly voice. You were avoiding even looking at him at that moment, hands a little shaky as you anxiously started to suck on your lollipop again, rolling it around in the corner of your cheek. “What are you so afraid of?” 

 “You, okay?! It’s always been you!” Your outburst was a lot louder than you expected it to be, ringing across the space between you and echoing in the far distance of the library’s upper-level floor. 

 A beat of silence lapsed between the two of you, and you trained your gaze on a corner of the room, studying the small dust bunny that stood there, completely still and lifeless. In that moment, you could relate to it quite a bit. Lost and confused. Wanting to move away, but not being able to for some weird reason. 

 Hyunjin’s old wooden settee creaked in the silence, as he shifted in his position. “To be honest, I’m scared of you too.” And just like that, your head was snapping his way and your eyes were widening in surprise. “For one, I’m scared of that stupid thing.” With his dark eyes, he motioned towards your mouth. To the lollipop that you were dutifully sucking on, in and out, in and out. You stopped altogether when you realized why he had been so quiet during your studying session. He hadn’t been studying — he had been focusing on you, on the candy in your mouth. Feeling self-conscious about it, you took it out of your mouth and laid it down on the table. “And I’m scared of how you make me feel— crazed out of my mind, all of the time. Like a sick fucking plague, you inhabit my everything… from the moment I wake to the moment I ease, you’re all I can think about, all I can dream about. And I hate it so fucking much that it kills me a little bit more every single day.” 

 “Hyunjin, I—”

 His eyes nearly rolled into the back of his skull, head tipping back in delight as his lips parted just slightly. “Yes— fuck, say it again.” 

 “Say… what?” 

 “You know.” 

 Heart leaping wildly in your throat, and broken butterflies waning in the depths of your stomach, your mouth was moving on its own accord. “Hyunjin.” 

 Like a trigger being pulled back from a gun and flitting the weapon into action, the bullet was shot across the distance between the two of you. And the bullet was your words — you calling out his name. 

 In an instant, he was a flurry of motion before you. All designer clothes soaked from rainwater and long, wavy hair that still had droplets of water at the tips. He was a flash of milky skin hidden underneath a sheer, wet button-down. The faint, waning moonlight shining through the window pane cast an ominous, angelic-like halo around his tall, built frame. 

 And by the time you could breathe again, he had you exactly where he wanted you. Pinned up against the nearest tall bookshelf that reached up into the height of the library's ceiling. One strong hand pinning your two hands against the wood above your head, while the other was positioned just unearth your chin, holding your jaw bone and stroking the flesh there with a gentle thumb. 

 “Now tell me you feel nothing at all, tell me you fucking hate me with your entire being, that you’ll always hate me, and that you think I’m a deprived cunt who needs to be murdered ruthlessly in front of everyone I love.” His words were hushed, their meaning brutal. His face was so close to yours, that you could feel the warmth of his breath as he spoke. Leaning into you, he drove his middle a little closer to the part of your legs. 

 Breath catching painfully between your windpipes and the lump in your throat, you stared up at him with blurry vision. Your attention was growing fuzzy at the edges, as you could do nothing more but hone in on… him. Subconsciously, you could feel the mango sweetness of your lollipop coating your tongue again and again as you swallowed. 

 “I—I hate you so fucking much, Hwang Hyunjin.” 

 He pressed into you a little further, breathing in your scent and closing his eyes as his head tipped close to one part of your neck. Mouth hovering over the shell of your ear, he whispered, “Say it again, sweetheart, with a little more passion this time.” 

 “I… I hate you so much, I can’t function with the thought of you existing in the same lifetime as me.” 

 You felt him moving against you then, hand moving away from your jaw and coming around one of your hips, fingers digging into the soft fabric of your black sweatpants. “You don’t have to be afraid of me, sweetheart…” He started, mouth hovering over that space just behind your ear, warm breath fanning against your exposed gooseflesh there. “I won’t hurt you— it was never my intention in the first place. It was… just a fun game to me, to toy around with you. But I never wanted to actually fucking hurt you.” 

 You could feel your mind and heart racing in tandem, going a mile a minute, as you took in all of his words. Because what, the actual fuck? What was he saying? And why was he saying it? And why did you feel yourself crumbling from it all, your resolve breaking down into dust and getting whisked away to the future of Neverland? 

 “I never meant to make you cry,” He said slowly, pulling away from your face just a tiny bit to gauge your reaction to his confession. You gaped up at him, completely speechless in your unadulterated wonder. “Sure, I wanted to make you cry— but not in the cruel kind of way… not in the way that most people would like to do.”

 His insinuation, his innuendo there, jumbled something around deep inside of your spirit. And you could practically feel your knees buckling underneath you from the reality of it all. From the fact that he was never truly set out to cause you permanent damage. And so far, he hadn’t. All he had done was make an ass out of himself and be a continual thorn in your side. But he wasn’t necessarily entirely cruel, and you never truly suspected that he’d do something catastrophically damaging. 

 “But all you have to do is tell me— tell me you never thought about me or dreamed about me or wondered about me, and I’ll be gone forever. You’ll never hear, or see me again. It’ll be like I never existed in the first place and I—”

 “I can’t fathom a life without you in it,” you suddenly blurted out, already feeling the hint of crimson blooming beneath your cheeks and at the tip of your nose. You peered up at him, staring into those depthless, chocolate-brown eyes, reading the dancing emotions there. “Sure, I might despise your guts at times, but… I also think you’re a pretty amazing guy. And… I have to admit that sometimes, I do think about you when I’m alone, at night, and laying in my bed.” 

 His hand clutched a little tighter at your hip then, his fingers intertwining with yours and continuing to hoist your arms up and above your head. “Oh yeah? What do you imagine when you think about me so late into the night?” He rasped out, the sound of his voice grating against your ears and sending flames to burst across the entirety of your veins. 

 “Your face, mostly— how your lips would feel and how you’d taste and what you’d sound like if—”

 After that, you didn’t even get the chance to finish your sentence. 

 He was honing in on you like a vulture to its prey, moving with such swiftness — like a phantom in the night, like a monster hidden underneath the bed, like a selkie in the depths of the ocean. 

 As it turns you, your dreams about him were accurate. 

 Because his plush lips did feel like pure heaven. 

 They pushed against yours, his mouth fitting atop yours like something that was carved into the universe — something that was almost meant to be. He was devouring you whole — heart and mind and soul and body. 

 And with each press of his silky lips, you fell down the hole of darkness and heat just a little bit more. Then the tip of his tongue was poking out and tracing the line of your mouth and you fell into him, fingers clawing at his that still had your arms held up high above your head, desperately searching for purchase as your legs threatened to give out underneath you. 

 When his tongue plowed into the small part between your lips, you let out a breathless moan. The kind that had been hidden deep, buried, and un-satiated for so fucking long. By the time he was tasting you, his hands had released your arms and you were scrambling for something to hold. Desperately, in your haste of arousal and temptation, you were clutching at the cool, wet fabric of his cream-colored button-down, holding on for dear life as his hands tightened around your waist and hoisted you up against the bookshelf further. 

 Your spine crammed into the wooden shelves there, as you wrapped your legs around his torso, yanking him closer with each passioned kiss that he gave you. Again and again, he drew those same, sinful sounds out of you. Just like all of the times before, he was playing a sick kind of game with you. But this time, it wasn’t all that bad. This time, you were quite enjoying yourself. 

 As your parted legs held his hips close to your frame, you could feel the hardness there, in the center of him. Just aching to be released. And suddenly, you came to terms with the fact that the wetness between your legs was rapidly growing with each kiss that he gave you. 

 He sucked on your lips like they were his lifeline — and you wondered, in that moment, how he’d treat the rest of you — how much attention he’d offer the rest of your body. 

 “J-Jin, I—” The shortened nickname slipped out between your lips when the two of you parted to catch your breaths. And when you noticed his swollen mouth, you were almost positive that yours looked just as bad, if not worse. 

 “What, baby doll?” He hummed, mouth moving away from yours entirely and coming close to the line of your jaw. You blushed wildly at the pet name, liking the way it sounded in his silky voice. He moved aside the thick fabric of your violet-colored knit turtleneck with his nose, lips attaching to the skin of your neck and suckling like a vampire drunken on the crimson of his lover. “What is it that you need right now?” 

 Your hands were scrambling for him, finding purchase in his dark roots and pulling just a tad bit there. The abuse to his scalp made him hiss out, warm breath painting across the heated flesh of the column of your neck brilliantly. “N—Need you t—to—” But your words were cut short by the way one of his hands was moving away from your waist, traveling under the hemline of your sweater, a long, nimble finger dancing across your belly button and rising to the center of your stomach. 

 “You need me, hmm?” He mused lowly, mouth having journeyed down to the skin closest to your clavicle, leaving violet-hued marks that would surely survive into the next few days. “Need me to fuck you, right? Need me to take you so irrevocably well right here and right now… can’t wait any longer, yeah?” As he spoke the words into existence, his naughty hand was already finding its way toward the lace of your bralette, skirting across its edges. Then, a single finger dipped underneath the elastic there, skirting up the length of your breast until it was resting against your pebbled nub. “Such a naughty little thing… who knew that the university’s prodigy just needed a good fucking, huh? That all she wanted was to get fucked open against the library bookshelves.” 

 You were gasping out in pure bliss, fingers digging in a little harder into his long wisps of hair as his hands began to explore your chest. Brushing, twisting, pulling. Then doing it all over again with the other mound. “Y—Yeah,” you managed to spit out, trembling underneath him, legs wounding tighter around his waist, bringing him ever closer. “Can you do that… fuck me? I need it so bad right now, I can’t handle it if you just leave me like this…” You were practically begging out the words, so desperate in your pleas that you were almost certain your groveling was boosting his already inflated ego. 

 “I only fuck good girls. Girls who don’t call me an asshole and don’t say they hate me.” 

 At that, your eyes were tearing open in a mix of surprise and despair. But the way that his hand didn’t stop touching your breasts, still playing with them, told you everything you needed to know at that moment. 

 You wiggled your hips slowly, grinding into the hardness between his dark-washed jeans. “Stop touching me then— stop kissing me and stop looking at me,” you began, taunting him with your movements and the way that you spoke in a velvety tone, all soft and delicate and innocent. When what the two of you were doing was anything but innocent. “But you can’t, right? Can’t get the thought of me out of your head— of what this pussy would feel like clenched around your cock, squeezing you for dear life as you fuck into me for the hundredth time in a single day—” 

 He was cutting off your words with his quick hands, shedding off your sweater and bralette in one go. Then he was bending down slowly, hands coming up to cup your chest. He stared up at you from his crouched position, watching the feelings rove across your face as he blew hot hair against one of your nipples. 

 “Just fucking shut up already bitch,” he said in a low grumble, as his hand came over your tit, mouth melding onto the warm skin there effortlessly. His other hand was busy playing with your neglected breast, squeezing there a little bit harder when his teeth grazed one of your nipples, tongue lapping at the bud. “You’re only to speak when spoken to, you understand me?” He asked, pulling away from your breast and making a crude, wet sucking noise as he did so.

 Glaring down at him through lust-filled eyes, you sneered his way. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, asshole.” Hands gripping onto his hair a little bit, you pushed his face closer to your chest as he began to work on your other breast, leaving a ring of wetness as he went. “And don’t call me bitch.”

 You could feel him smirk against your skin, his low chuckle vibrating against your gooseflesh and sending ripples of energy to course through your veins. “Mhm— why not? Your pussy sure seems to love the name.” He mused sadistically, completely unlatching from your breast, hands finding their way back at your hips. 

 “What are you even talk—”

 But he didn’t leave any more room for questions, one hand ripping away from your waist and covering your covered centre. “This, right here,” he said in a low whisper, fingers cupping your warmth there, and you could practically feel the essence dripping out of you, just behind your thin panties and sweatpants. “Bet you’ll get even more soaked when I call you it again.”

 “You know nothing about me.” The words came out garbled and wobbly, as he maneuvered your sweatpants down and off of your legs entirely. “Y—You don’t know my body.” 

 He threw you a sardonic kind of smile, leaning into the side of you, lips caressing the shell of your ear as he spoke in soft tones. “Yeah, but I’ve done a hell of a lot of observing over the years…” At his words, you could feel his hand nearing your middle again, and you involuntarily parted your legs in want. 

 When his fingers came in contact with the lace of your panties, you had to pull out your biggest bout of self-control to hold in the moan that wanted to escape from you. His movements were expert level, as he pushed the fabric off to the side, running a single finger up your lips, feeling for that small spot at the very top. Circling his thumb around there, his other fingers worked at your entrance, and before you knew it, he was pressing two long digits into you. 

 “F—Fuck—“ You groaned at the feeling of it all, falling into him and clawing at his shoulders that were still covered in that damp button-up shirt. “Hyunjin.” You were moaning out his name before you even realized it, hips jutting up slowly against his hand, your head getting thrown back as his fingers searched and found that warm, gooey spot deep inside of you. 

 “See? I know exactly what the fuck I’m doing,” he muttered, lips coming around the side of your neck and suckling violet marks into the skin there. “So be a good bitch and shut up for me, yeah? Take it like a good girl— like the good whore that I know you are.” 

 You couldn’t even protest against him using the name again, because, in all honesty, you did like it. It felt dirty and wrong but so very fucking right at the same time. It caused your walls to spasm against the three fingers he had stuck inside of you, as he pumped in and out with a rabid kind of pace. The sound of his movements forced shivers down the length of your spine, as his thumb pressed into your clit a little more. 

 “Y—You gotta fuck me now, Jin—” You mumbled, already reaching the edge of orgasm from the way that he was steadily working you up with his hand alone. Half of his fingers were buried deep inside of you and the others were desperately clutching at your hip bone to bring you closer to him. The sounds he was pulling from you, both wetness and moans of pleasure, were other-worldly. “N—Need to feel your cock inside of me, right fucking now.” 

 In your daze of lust, you found yourself clasping at the buttons of his shirt, quickly undoing them and sliding his damp shirt off of his frame. What lay underneath was a chiseled chest — a muscular abdomen, biceps that rippled with each breath he took, and a dark trail that led towards his dick. You ran your fingers down the milky expanse of his chest, marveling at how soft and chiseled everything felt. 

 Sighing out quietly, you stared up at him with pleading eyes. “You’re so fucking hot… always knew you would be.” That made Hyunjin smirk with satisfaction, as he tipped into you for a breathless kiss. 

 While his lips captured your own, you could feel his hands working at your panties, sliding them off your legs and leaving you completely bare. Then you heard the clanking noise of a belt coming undone, as he unmistakably rid himself of his pants and boxers. 

 Then he was parting from your mouth, focus turned down to where the centers of your bodies met together. Your mouth fell open at the sight of… him. All seven-and-a-half inches, long shaft curving upward in arousal and precum leaking out of the pretty red tip. A single vein ran down the side, bulging from his unchecked want.

 “Need you to be nice and loud for me, yeah?” He growled in that low tone of his, as he guided himself near your entrance. “Let the entire school know who you belong to— scream my name, bitch, and tell everyone who fucking owns you.” 

 His words jumbled around inside of your mind, making you feel lightheaded as he slowly began to slide into you. You widened your legs a little bit for him, wrapping them around his waist as he quickly bottomed out. The stretch was only slight and left you hissing with relief when he was fit into you at the hilt.

 Without any warning, he was sliding out almost completely, before thrusting back in, hitting into you so roughly, that your spine jammed into the wooden bookshelf at your back. And just like that, he was setting a hellish pace. One that was sure to make you crumble before him — fall apart at the seams. 

 “Mhm— fuck!” You screamed out in a guttural voice, throwing your head back against the bookshelf desperately as his hips snapped against yours feverishly. You were gripping onto his shoulders so hard, running your nails down his back, that you were sure you’d leave red marks later. “Holy shit- feels so good!”

 One of Hyunjin’s hands traveled away from your waist, long, nimble fingers digging into your scalp, yanking at the hair there. “Louder, bitch— take it all like the filthy slut that you are.” He shouted, voice coming out raspy as he pounded into you roughly. 

 In the very back of your mind, you distinctly heard the pitter-patter of rainfall against the nearby windowpane mixing in with the sounds of the two of you  — skin slapping against skin and wetness squelching. It was straight out of a porno and made your head swim with so many dirty thoughts. Breath catching in the center of your throat, you found your lips opening up and releasing a blood-curdling cry of pleasure. 

 Your noises of ecstasy seemed to compel Hyunjin forward with drive, as he rutted into you in a manic kind of way, thumb tracing figure-eight symbols into your inflamed clit. Almost like, if he didn’t get it out of his system, he’d never be able to live afterward — wouldn’t be able to breathe or think or speak. The tip of him hit up into that warm spot inside of you, and you clenched a little harder around this throbbing cock every time he teased you right there. 

 “Fuck— I can’t… I’m gonna…” You groaned out loudly. Your eyes flittered into the back of your skull from the way that he pulled at your hair at the same time that he fucked up into you. 

 Hyunjin grunted out lowly, hips snapping against yours with each thrust. “J—Just a little farther, doll face…” From the way that his domineering tone was slipping away, you could tell that he was also creeping near the edge of release. 

 You could feel the slip and slide between your legs, your essence coating every surface of your inner thighs and making everything feel silky and smooth. The intensity of his movements slowed down somewhat, the frenzy of his rocking leveling out as he chased your guys’ highs. 

 “Yes… right there!” You mewled out breathlessly just as the tip of him hit so far into you, that entire galaxies were cast against the expanse of your closed eyes. Your cheeks felt like they were on fire — the flush creeping down the column of your purple-marked neck and into the depths of your soul as he continued to circle your bundle of nerves. 

 Walls clenching around his cock that was buried deep inside of your warmth, you could feel the moment Hyunjin found that blissful space of his release. “I’m gonna come— fuck—” He rasped out, his voice on the quiet side as he lost all semblance of control. 

Hips stuttering against yours, he made to pull out of you completely. But you found yourself shaking your head, eyes shooting open, and giving him a serious frown. “N—No… want you to… come inside…” Your head was empty of all thoughts, as you could do nothing more but focus on the way that he felt so close to you - so far deep inside. 

 At that, Hyunjin was offering you a tiny, satisfied grin. Then he was seizing up inside of you, cock stretching against your walls as he met his high. It overtook his entire system, overruling all other obstacles and forcing his head backward in pure, orgasmic bliss. The prettiest sounds fell from his plump, crimson, kiss-swollen lips, as he let himself slip down the cliff with ease. 

 The feeling of his release painting your walls in warm whiteness caused your entire body to convulse with pleasure, as you finally found your high. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced before… perfect and whole and so fucking hot. Bursts of rose and topaz and turquoise splashed across the inner workings of your mind, as your insides fluttered around Hyunjin’s cock that fit perfectly between your legs. 

 “Holy shit, that was…” You said breathlessly after you had begun to come down from your high. Cracking your eyes open you noticed the darkness still there in Hyunjin’s gaze, and the way that his eyes slit shut with want. The sound of the rain outside lulled your mind into a perfect state of peaceful limbo. “What?” You asked, raising an eyebrow his way in question. “What is it?” 

 He shrugged slowly, eyes coming away from your connected middles and locking with yours. “Nothing, just… I can’t fucking believe you just let me cum inside of you— with no protection.” 

 You could feel his cock softening inside of you, and finally, your legs stopped shaking around his waist. “Why? You don’t like the idea of that?” Beginning to pull away from him, you tried to yank as far away from his cock as you could. “If you didn’t like it, you should’ve—”

 Hyunjin’s mouth was coming onto you in the next beat, capturing your lips up into a heated kiss, stealing the labored breath right from your lungs and sucking on your puffy bottom lip. “Just shut the fuck up, alright. I fucking loved it… it was so hot— you’re so hot. Makes me wanna come in you every single day.” You could feel him move between your legs then, as he began to fuck his seed back into your aching walls. In the back of your mind, you could feel his hand lazily working at you, pushing a single digit back into your entrance between his cock, thrusting in the cum that was splattered across your thighs.  

 Groaning out softly at his words, you placed your hands on his bare chest and pushed a little bit so that you could get a look at his face again. It was filled with so much lust and want and adoration, the sight of it all almost overwhelmed you entirely. “Well, I suppose I could allow that…” Your voice trailed off, as you dragged a single finger up the center of his chest and towards the sharp line of his jaw. “If it’s with you— then yeah, you can fuck me raw every day.” 

 Hyunjin let out a low noise, which sounded like a mix between a moan and a cry for help. “But we can’t, baby doll— it wouldn’t be smart and I’d never want to put you in any kind of uncomfortable position.” 

 You found yourself shrugging off his concerns nonchalantly, as you drove your hips a little forward, meeting his shallow strokes. You loved the feeling there, of wetness and silky essence. “Yeah, but… the good thing is, at least we’d know who the father is.” 

 At that, he was flashing you a wicked smirk, pearly white glinting against puffy, red lips. His tiny smile was the last thing you saw before he was tipping into you and fitting his mouth around yours again. “Oh, you devilish little minx… I think I’ll keep you for a very long time.” 

 In the back of your mind, you could feel him moving against you, cock already stiffening again just from your words and insinuations alone. But at that moment, you weren’t too worried about what he planned to do with you for the rest of the night. Because right then, all you wanted to focus on was his face, and the way he let you ring your arms around his neck, pulling at the hair at his nape as he pressed kiss after impassioned kiss to your mouth. 

 It turns out that your roommate Felix had been right after all. In the end, working with Hwang Hyunjin hadn’t been that horrible. 

 It had been quite… nice. 

 Despite all of the bickering and shouting. 

 After a while, the rough bumps and edges of your rocky relationship seemed to mellow out between the tall bookshelves of the library. And before you knew it- he had you completely bending at his will — practically groveling at his feet for his love, attention, and care. 

 In the end, you supposed that that’s what you had always wanted from each other, and that’s why you had been so horrible to one another. If you couldn’t garner each other’s attention with regular conversations and friendship, the next best thing was to be rivals in your academics and throw insults at every opportunity you were offered. 

 But the thing about trying to hate Hwang Hyunjin — trying to hate such a smart, caring, passionate man — is that eventually, one’s willpower always breaks down, and they’re left in a pile of mess and limbs as they search out his affection. 

Fin.

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[loserlvrss]

꒰ 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐙𝐄 ꒱ 이희승

summary : the one time you can't seen to control yourself happens to be around the one person you find yourself fantasizing about

genre : suggestive, friends to ??, heeseung x gn!reader tws : language, kiss, suggestive content author notes : ariana better put some version of fantasize on ag7 or im ending my life haha... word count : 0.8k

there wasn't supposed to be a tension. the room was silent, reserve for the TV playing against soft taken breaths. however, you couldn't focus on anything but the man sitting on the opposite side of your couch. he stared at his phone — energy locked into whatever he was reading at that moment — hair creating a barrier against your piercing-gaze in his peripherals.

he had come over not too long ago, some time in the middle of the movie you put on to distract yourself from the workday you had just completed. too stressed out when you got home to even take your shoes off and exit the foyer for a couple of minutes; actually, your purse and keys still laid on the floor messily.

now, you do find yourself distracted, and it would be a good thing if it wasn't driving you absolutely insane. if he wasn't so oblivious to you and your presence.

maybe there was a tension, but he was none-the-wiser to it.

you tried to clear your cloudy brain, focus on the animations dancing across the screen, and not scenarios to get the man to finally attach his lips to you flashing through your head like a badly timed daydream.

you swallowed thickly, the lump in your throat dragging the entire way down into the pit of your stomach. you knew deep down he didn't care for you the way you so secretly did him. but, right now you couldn't care less what he thought of you, you just wanted him to think of you.

"heeseung," you exhaled, not even sure where you were going to take the sentence. he raised his head, phone settling in his lap. his sights locked onto you and suddenly you felt too warm for your own good.

honestly, you weren't even sure why he was making you feel some type of way. he hadn't said much since entering your home but, there was something about the man that was too intoxicating to ignore. he was like a good movie with a plot-twist, an enemies to lovers book with a cliff hanger. his aura holding you in rose-adorned chains.

and reality was, you wanted him to be yours.

you couldn't find the right words — actually, you couldn't find any at all. he took your breath away and made something so easy so fucking difficult. you weren't shy, never have been, but nonetheless he made you blush like a school-girl.

yesterday, you wouldn't have had a crush on him, but tomorrow seems to hold a different title — or maybe it was a momentary infatuation. a because of the proximity; lack of being able to pick from the bunch thing.

however, you knew the truth was exactly the opposite.

"hey, earth to y/n?" you hadn't noticed the smooth movements of the man until he was inches from your face: close enough you could smell a minty scent and a cologne that made your head spin. "what's on your mind?"

how could you tell him anything but the truth when you were barely seeing straight? there’s no doubt he could sense it now.

your head was starry with all-things him, the background fading away until you could practically crawl into his skin. you were trying so desperately to behave, to keep the distance from closing. you could lie to yourself and say that it wasn't really your desire to have him, but that lie didn't get any more convincing the more times you spewed it out.

you leaned ever-so-slightly closer, lips almost brushing. you half-expected him to back away — in fact, you were mentally prepared for it. on the contrary, you two were no strangers to flirting with each other. it wasn't even the first time you've been face-to-face like this. but, that was always short-lived and due to copious alcohol consumption.

"you." you breathed out against him, "i'm thinking about you."

the intensity of his eyes locked onto yours was too grasping to look away, despite the nervousness he drenched you with. his arms fell to the cushion on each side of your head, caging you between them. your breath caught with choking force as you gasped quietly. you didn't know why he wouldn't reply, back up or shatter your fantasy. but, then you caught him glance down at your slightly-parted lips and back to your eyes.

maybe, just maybe, you were too mentally weak to deny the gravity of this sober-situation. if you got up, you were sure your knees would buckle and you shivered with anticipation, stomach twisting out for him.

his voice was low, "can i kiss you?" he asked, flicking his eyes to what he wanted and watching your reply roll off them.

your heart rate spiked, palms sweating against the plush surface. your voice was barely audible when you finally forced out a reply, though he heard you loud and clear.

"please."

he finally broke the anticipation — the tension you were sure he didn't have a clue about. and, maybe he didn't a couple of minutes ago, but it's better he catch on later than never, right?

you never realized, until this moment, why the stories always described the pure lust of an awaited first kiss as crashing; but, the way he closed the distance could only be described as such. you might end up regretting it but at this exact moment, with his lips setting you aflame, you didn't have a thought in the world that didn't resemble him.

yesterday, you wouldn't have wanted to go up in flames but, at least, it was by his doing.

reblogs, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! thank u!

[p-redux]

Didn’t take much to pull you out of retirement huh? Btw, you didn’t get a scoop - another blog best you to it. Also, you took a huge leap assuming Sam was flying with someone. His buddy Marina flew in today - possible he could have been picking her up and therefore didn’t have luggage? They have spent NYE together in the past, you know. you are a self-proclaimed truther - maybe do a little research before you suggest you know he’s with “a broad”? Thirsty, thirsty. Rest your eyes!

Didn't take much for you to crawl out of the woodwork to spew hate huh? Btw, I didn't say I got the scoop, I said this was a NEW pic of Sam--and I didn't see any blog beat me to it. Even BellaOutlander on IG, who gets everything right away, and many others, posted AFTER me. So, I was def one of the first blogs to post the new pic of Sam with a fan at Glasgow airport. Also, I NEVER said Sam was flying with anyone. I said he could be flying OUT of Glasgow go be with a lady friend because he has done that for New Year's Eve on more than one occasion. That's not me taking "a huge leap," that's me going on proven past behavior aka facts. Yes, I saw that his friend, Marina Campbell flew into Glasgow yesterday. Would Sam himself go to the airport to pick her up? At this stage in his career, I would think he would have sent a car service to pick her up. But who knows, Sam is down to earth, and a good friend, so he may have picked her up. The jury is still out on that one. Marina has since posted pics on her IG hanging out in Glasgow. It looks like she's with a group of friends...let's see if any pics come out of Sam being among them. As for them spending New Year's Eve together in the past, I don't think that's happened very often. On January 3, 2022, Marina posted from a Chargers American football game in Los Angeles with Sam and Alex, so I guess they could have spent that New Year's together. I've been here almost 10 years, and I don't remember that happening very often though. They've definitely hung out together a lot: worked out together, traveled together, climbed munros together, but I don't remember many New Year's Eve together, but it could have happened. And maybe this year, Sam felt like staying in Glasgow, and they'll hang out for New Year's Eve. No sweat off my back. Whatever Sam wants to do and whoever he wants to do it with is fine by me...and always has been. As for my play on words he's going abroad to be with a broad, it was OBVIOUSLY a joke, tongue-in-cheek, haha. Anon, maybe if you pulled the stick out of your ass, you might find a sense of humor. Bitter, bitter. Rest up, bitch! I'm here for the duration...

PS. For those "worried" about my eyes, I'm writing this on my desktop, which obviously strains them less than my cell phone does. There, I saved you the inevitable, "I thought you had eye pain, how are you writing such a looong post with eye pain?!" *eyeroll*

PPS. For the haters who were happy to see me semi retire, I never said completely retire, the fastest way to get me to post again is to piss me the f*ck off. So, keep sending me Anons like this, and you will ensure I will post more often. Besides getting the inside scoop, there's nothing I relish more than handing people their asses. Up to you...

[bruh-changbin]

paper boy

pairing: school paper editor! seungmin x afab reader

genre: fluff + smut (minors dni)

warnings: piv, unprotected sex (be safe), semi-public sex, brief mention of masturbation (m and f), brief mention of oral (f receiving), lots of kissy kissy, uhhhh i think that's it?

word count: 2k

a/n: this is... kind of a random scenario but i think i fw it haha. pls appreciate this little baby seungmin fic because a) i haven't written for him or skz in forever, and b) i'm working on some larger fics that i will share in the near future. as always i would love love love to hear your thoughts 😸 also I promise I don’t think all english students are pretentious I was just playing it up for the fic ok bye

photos not mine, credit to original owners (retrieved from pinterest)

.・゜-: ✧ :-　

.・゜-: ✧ :-　

.・゜-: ✧ :-　

when you first lay eyes on seungmin he looks as if he’s the human embodiment of scholarly.

black wire-rimmed glasses hanging off of his nose, a light grey hoodie donning the name of your university across the chest, brows slightly furrowed as he scans the desktop screen in front of him. he looks cute.

you’ve never been one to read the school paper (who does?). but felix wanted to check out the ads posted in the job section so he asked you to pick up a copy for him while he was in his afternoon lecture. 

you’re a good friend, so you fulfil his request.

you’ve always found people involved with english-based extracurriculars to be, well, pretentious. more often than not they’re snooty rich kids who only use messenger bags and think they’re better than everyone because they know what words like malapropism and valetudinarian mean. see, pretentious. 

ergo, you’re less than excited for your venture to the school paper office. but a promise is a promise (and felix vowed to buy you starbucks if you did this for him), so you follow the directions felix gave you to get to your destination.

when you first step into the office space, you’re somewhat taken aback. it’s much more… homey than you imagined. the walls, painted a welcoming shade of fern green, are accompanied by thick armchairs lining the interior and a bamboo welcome mat you wipe your shoes on. a salt lamp casts a warm, pinky-orange glow from where it’s plugged in in the corner. but the real treasure is the cute, puppy-looking boy sitting behind the front desk. 

he looks nice.

virtuous.

innocent.

the kind of boy who’s coffee-toned bambi eyes are the epitome of sinless, who’s nice white teeth only reflect purity, who’s skin is so devoid of imperfections it looks like glass.

“excuse me, can i get a copy of the school paper?” you stutter out embarrassingly, feeling as if this is your first time operating your mouth, tongue and lips to form coherent sounds and syllables.

the boy behind the desk gives you a look that’s a mix of confusion and annoyance before glancing to his left. only then do you notice the painfully obvious display shelf donning stacks upon stacks of this week's issue, an obnoxiously colourful sign reading ‘school paper: grab a copy!’ plastered to the wall above really rubbing in your lack of situational awareness.

“they’re fresh off the press,” seungmin mumbles before going back to whatever it is he’s doing on the computer in front of him.

you nod even though his focus isn’t on you anymore before grabbing a copy of the paper for felix and heading back the way you came. when your sweaty palm comes into contact with the cold, metal handle of the door it shocks the sense back into you. you decide that no, you are not about to give up on this angelical boy just yet before spinning on your heel and spewing whatever thought pops into your head first.

“you smell like bergamot… what perfume do you use?”

he seems taken aback by your sudden questioning, his soft eyes widening just a smidge before he responds, “it’s uh, classic by clean reserve.”

“it smells nice.”

“yea, i like it.”

“i’m y/n.”

“seungmin.” 

he sticks out a hand for you to shake. weird, not many people in your age demographic shake hands when they introduce themselves. but the way he stuck his arm out with restrained enthusiasm is endearing and you grasp his hand in yours. his fingers are long and dainty while his palm radiates warmth; he shakes your hand twice before letting go.

“what’s your major, seungmin?”

“business.”

“business?”

“yep, you?”

“environmental science.”

“nice.” he sounds genuine, “so are you gonna save the world?”

“i’ll start with saving my grades, then we’ll see about the world.”

he laughs at this. the apples of his cheeks puff up ever so slightly to resemble mochi, his baby pink lips curling upwards to reveal a set of straight teeth, perfected by the wires and brackets that are glued to them. braces suit him well.

you vow to yourself that this won’t be the last time you see him.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　

the first time you’re in seungmin’s bedroom your innocent perception of him is skewed.

he invited you over because he wanted to start watching breaking bad, a show that you, on many occasions, have raved about to no end. 

his room is spotless, a level of clean that you’ve never seen a 20-something year old guy execute. which is why your eyes are immediately drawn to the small corner of paper sticking out from under seungmin’s bed. with the rest of his room being so perfect, this small discrepancy sticks out like a sore thumb.

when seungmin head’s downstairs to do god knows what, you grab the paper from underneath his bed and gasp when you find yourself face to face with a playboy magazine. pages upon pages, some with small tears or doggy-ear bookmarks, filled with women showing off their tits in promiscuous poses stare back at you as you flip through the magazine.

heat creeps its way up your neck and when you hear seungmin begin to make his way up the stairs you toss the magazine back under his bed. he gives you a skeptical look when he sees you standing in the middle of his room, fists balled up at your sides with an uneasy expression present on your face, before shrugging, hopping onto his bed and patting the spot beside him to get you to sit down.

despite the show playing in the background, your gaze continues to fall on seungmin’s side profile. 

how can someone so innocent and good be into something so… raunchy? not that liking porn or hentai or whatever it is that gets you going makes you a bad person, it’s just that with seungmin it’s so out of pocket, for lack of a better term.

you try not to imagine seungmin getting himself off on the very bed you're sitting on, one hand holding his tattered playboy and the other gripping his cock. you try not to imagine the hushed whines and groans that would leave his lips in an exhale, ruffling his blonde-streaked bangs in the process. you try not to imagine how he’d bite his puffy bottom lip and throw his head back in ecstasy as he finishes all over his stomach.

you fail.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　

over time the innocence you once saw in seungmin wanes with a slew of firsts: the first time you caught him looking at your breasts through your near see-through top; the first time you found your mind drifting to thoughts of him and his fingers and his lips when you were touching yourself; the first time you made out with him in the back of felix’s corolla when he and changbin ran into the convenience store to get dorito’s.

if seungmin’s lips were a drug you’d be an addict.

you’ve lost track of how many hours you’ve spent with his tongue down your throat, your face going numb with the feeling of his mouth pressed against yours. he tastes like the spearmint gum he chews around the clock and you feel as if you could drown in his blown out pupils when he stares at you with lust and hunger and desire.

his calloused palms and paper-cut ridden fingertips know your skin as if it’s his own. he’s stronger than he lets on, which you found out the first time he fucked you from behind against his kitchen counter. you still don’t know if the purple and blue splotches that remained on your hips for days after were from his countertop or the grip he had on you.

in some ways he still has some of the virtue you thought he had when you first laid eyes on him.

he’s a people pleaser through and through, and will happily spend hours with his face shoved between your legs tongue-fucking you to orgasm so many times you swear you see god. or, he’ll watch with amusement as you struggle to get yourself off on his cock (which is perfect, by the way). the way he looks at you with something akin to pity when you’re perched on top of him - fat tears rolling down your cheeks because your legs are aching and you can’t be on top anymore but you wanna cum so badly - stirs something inside of you that nothing ever has before.

seungmin’s ability to fuck you so hard you see stars is the perfect juxtaposition to the version of himself he portrays to the outside world. kind, quiet, lenient. a picture perfect boyfriend.

you’d made a pact with yourself to get to know more about what it is he does for the school paper, seeing as that was how the two of you met in the first place.

“what exactly do you do there?” you question him over a slice of cheesecake you’re sharing in a booth at a secluded restaurant.

“i edit, do some admin stuff. you know, the works.” he uses his thumb to swipe a dollop of caramel off of your top lip before sucking on it. you swoon.

“do you want me to show you around the office?” he asks you while pulling on his corduroy jacket that makes him look like a teddy bear.

“what, right now?”

“why not? i’ve got the keys.” he pulls a jumpring holding a multitude of silver and gold keys out of his pocket as if to emphasise his point. 

so you say yes.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

you’ve never been on campus after hours. 

something about strolling through the dark hallways that are normally teeming with students and faculty really gets you on edge. but in a good way, like you’re feeding into the rebellious phase you had as a teen that you thought died out but still exists in some small part of your brain. your thoughts are cut short when seungmin stops to unlock to door to the student paper office and drags you into the place your first met him all that time ago.

seungmin explains how much of newspaper production has gone digital now and shows you the web offset press that’s responsible for printing the many copies of your school’s paper every week. he lets you sit at his desk and shows you how he edits upcoming articles while overseeing practically every aspect of the process. it’s then you realize how much seungmin downplays his contribution to the paper, for if he wasn’t involved as much as much as he is everything would be askew.

when you feel his hands creep their way up your back before stopping at your shoulders you relax into his touch. you’ve known seungmin was in a mood since earlier this evening; it was only a matter of time before he made a move. 

he leaves feathery kisses on your neck and jaw while his hands slip under your top to palm your breasts. even the smallest of touches from him can reduce you to a needy, flustered mess. 

the two of you fooling around in seungmin’s workspace was bound to happen, which is why you follow his lead when he moves you so you’re sitting on his desk, when he slips his hand into your panties, when he kisses you so hard you can’t breathe.

garments are discarded at a leisurely pace and soon enough seungmin has his cock stuffed in your tight pussy and is fucking you on top of his desk. the steady electrical hum from the backup generator isn’t enough to drown out his groans and your sighs of pleasure and the wet sound of your cunt sucking him in with every thrust.

seungmin’s tongue drags across your collar bones as you tangle your fingers in his chocolate brown hair with the toffee streaks in his bangs that you love oh so much. the hair at the nape of his neck becomes slick with sweat as his hips bump and grind against yours in a way that has the ceiling above you transforming into a blanket of stars.

you cry when you cum and pray for this moment to never end, revelling in the warmth of your sweet sweet paper boy’s body pressed against yours.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　

[carcinogenuine]

OKAY. I HAVE MEDITATED UPON MY INTENT AND SAID MY AFFIRMATIONS. I HAVE A GLASS OF CABERNET. I AM ACUTELY AWARE OF HOW EASY IT IS TO VERY CAREFULLY AND GENTLY CLOSE MY HUSKTOP AND SET IT ASIDE AND DO SOMETHING MORE PRODUCTIVE LIKE THE DISHES OR PICKING MY SNOT GAPERS.

I'M ACCEPTING THERE'S NO WAY TO WORD THIS THAT ISN'T AWKWARD AS FUCK SO WE'RE GOING WITH THE CLASSIC KARKAT MOVE OF, "JUST KEEP SPEWING UNTIL YOUR POINT FEELS MADE" WHICH HAS PERSONALLY ALWAYS WORKED OUT FOR ME AND NEVER CAUSED ANYONE AN OUNCE OF FRUSTRATION.

HAHA.

FUCK.

I'M KARKAT. I'M GONNA GUESS MY IPAD BABY WIFE HAS ALREADY TOLD YOU A LOT ABOUT ME. PLUS MOST OF YOU HERE KNEW ME OR SOME FUCKED UP TWISTED GODTRASH VERSION OF ME.

I HAVE AVOIDED THIS FOR A LONG TIME PARTIALLY DUE TO IT BEING INFAMOUSLY UNHEALTHY FOR ME TO BE ONLINE TO DO ANYTHING MORE THAN CHECK THE WEATHER OR GOOGLE RECIPES FOR SOME IMPULSE SALE PURCHASE FROM THE GROCERY STORE. I CAN ALREADY FEEL MY BLOOD HEATING UP. NOT YET BOILING BUT THE BURNER'S ON. I'M SIMMERING A LITTLE. I'M ALREADY ARGUING WITH LITTLE STRAWMAN SHITBAGS IN MY HEAD. PREPARING ARGUMENTS AND COUNTERARGUMENTS AND COUNTERCOUTNERARGUMENTS AND REACHING DEEP INTO THE HATRED INSTILLED DEEP INSIDE ME FROM UNIMAGINABLE CHILDHOOD HORROR FOR MY MOST ELOQUENTLY VISCERAL INSULTS.

I HAVE ALSO AVOIDED BEING HERE BECAUSE I WENT THROUGH THE PAINSTAKING SISYPHEAN TASK OF ACCEPTING MY FRIENDS' DEATH AND/OR DISAPPEARANCE. SO LOOKING AT SOME OF YOUR FACES AND TALKING TO YOU ISN'T GONNA BE EASY. EXPECT FULL THEATRICS.

SO. HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW CHRONICALLY ONLINE TUMBLR USERS.

[neonscandal]

Hello, again, Neon...How are you? Sorry I have not log in tumblr for almost 2 month. I'm surprised you got quite a lot of interesting asks when I read your blog....

So, first thing first, now I'm in the middle of watching "Fushigi Yuugi", thanks to you. Now, I'm not really interested in the romance but I really love the story and worldbuilding. It's isekai but so good....Thanks for your rec, Neon....🌻🤩

I always love sorting characters to Hogwarts Houses, and because you said you don't mind, can I ask for : Miaka/Tamahome (classic trope done great), Narumi/Nifuji (cute couple), and Vash/Wolfwood (I'm depress after reading their story), Reki/Langa (just read BL that remind me of them)?

Last question (sorry for this long ask, feel free if you don't want to answer all), because you love Hermione, do you ship Hermione/Ron or Hermione/Draco or other? Why?

Hope you have a wonderful day, Neon. And sorry for late in saying this : Happy Belated Birthday, wish you all the good things in life 💐😄

Hello old friend, welcome back 🌻💛 Never a need to apologize! I dare say you and your many questions may have emboldened others to reach out haha so I suppose I should say thank you for that. And for your kind words always! 🥺❤️

For it to be an older series, I'm glad to hear the worldbuilding holds up! I always loved Tamahome, Chichiri and Nuriko because they were so funny to me when I was younger. I feel like I should revisit the series with you!

Of COURSE I'm gonna address your whole ask in one go. Just remember, fuck TERFs!

ROMIONE vs DRAMIONE

As a smooth brained child, I didn't really ship Hermione until there was more obvious signaling that she and Ron were end game. The books were coming out when I was literally the age of the characters and kids are easily influenced and don't think critically. Not even going into comphet shipping at that age. I also loved redheads or maybe just the Weasleys? As an adult, Ron kinda sucked as a partner for Hermione. He took Hermione for granted, wasn't really supportive of things that meant a lot to her (SPEW, though clearly she changed his mind based on his later concern for the elves), was generally harsh with his words regarding her until the cruft of their adolescence was really broken away but, in my opinion, Hermione outclassed Ron and Harry in a lot of ways. In this pairing, it feels like Hermione made Ron better but Ron didn't reciprocate that improvement where Hermione was concerned. We can say he made her more approachable but that was him and Harry and just general socialization. It's been awhile since I've read the books so I may be selling my boy Ron short here. But also, as an adult, I see brilliant, amazing women end up with mediocre (but somewhat earnest) men all the time so I guess we were adequately prepared in our childhood.

As an adult, I'm not going to say I ship Dramione but I definitely see the appeal more. Especially where fandom fills in the gap because, contextually, we see them at odds and how Hermione is bold enough to challenge Draco. She (similar to Ron in the above), isn't the only reason the Draco undergoes his necessary character development we see through the story but her audacity, I think, humbles him in a way that's different from Harry. This dynamic is also more aligned with ships I tend to gravitate toward where they're a little antagonistic with a soft underbelly. I'm not saying this question justifies sharing this beautiful animation by @lyrablack1883 but… an excuse is an excuse. 👀

Onto the neon Sorting Hat, I guess!

Bear in mind, I'm largely of the mind that where the other houses are fixed, Gryffindor is open to anyone brave enough to ask/insist so, if you don't agree, that's cool, too. I give the primary i think they'd be in otherwise.

Miaka Yuki (Fushigi Yuugi) - Gryffindor with Hufflepuff underpinnings. It's important to note that the tenderness that Miaka exhibits is not without an edge. She may not be strong but she isn't powerless. She is kind and accepting of others and fair with a sense of purpose when chosen to be a priestess and rises to the occasion. She's still stubborn and, in fact, the flaws that more prominently make her a Gryffindor is what endears her to others (and sets her at odds with Tamahome because she's a brat, let's be serious). Still, with the whole world on its head, Miaka doesn't shy away from her duty and grows a lot along the way.

Tamahome (Fushigi Yuugi) - okay this is a bit of a toss up but only because it's been so long since I've seen Fushigi Yuugi that I'm torn between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, for obvious reasons. Tamahome is loyal to a cause and is subsequently very logical about the means to satisfy that end. Character wise, I just can't determine (or recall, rather), whether he could justify any means to that end. I'm leaning toward Ravenclaw with the loyalty to his family and then the Suzaku Warriors but I'm open to your interpretation as someone who may have seen it more recently.

Narumi Momose (Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku) - Ravenclaw. Intuitively, Narumi had a goal in mind and creatively deduced camouflage would be the best means to be successful socially and at work. It's a little dishonest but with earnest intentions. But Narumi is a Ravenclaw in the daffy way the Luna Lovegood is a Ravenclaw. That's not to suggest neither lack intelligence but their focus tends to be elsewhere. Whatever the special interest, they know it all, you know? Good luck trying to be a normie, Narumi.

Hirotaka Nifuji (Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku) - Bear in mind I have one season of Wotakoi under my belt. But the biggest indicator for my determination is that Hirotaka managed to hide his crush on Narumi for the full duration of the season. Cool, and nonchalant but the frenzy when his brother almost blew his cover? Slytherin. Mans had a goal all along and while Narumi seemed to fall in line with that out of convenience, it suited his purposes all along and we only see an aberration in his behavior when that was potentially jeopardized. Harmless as the circumstances were, it's giving Slytherin.

Vash the Stampede (Trigun) - Hufflepuff to a fault with sympathy for the devil. He will do what is right, damn the consequences and the risk of personal injury to himself. He was given a life and seeks to protect the lives of others at all cost. This sunshine boy isn't without shadow, driven to offset his brothers' misdeeds, for sure. But Rem, I think, is a stronger guide in how Vash lives his life. He doesn't do it for the glory, it's simply what must be done. He certainly doesn't go looking for trouble the way a Gryffindor might. It just finds him and he tries to resolve it as amicably as possible with a moral compass always pointing due North.

Nicholas D. Wolfwood (Trigun) - SLYTHERIN. Hat's barely rested upon his head and definitively we know that Nicky D will do whatever's needed to get his desired end. Not saying Vash won't make him question himself but, ultimately, Nicholas will do what Vash can't. His morality rests upon a razor's edge and he's learned that the only way to protect the people he love's are by doing the dirty work necessary. With Vash's influence, he may be tortured about it, though.

Reki Kyan (SK8 the Infinity) - Gryffindor with a strong Hufflepuff alignment (is this why Miya warms up to him?). Not only is he earnestly hardworking and kind, the glue that brings everyone together. But he's also brave, punching well above his weight class to stand up to Adam and protect Miya and, ultimately, to triumph over him because of his own brilliance and ingenuity.

Langa Hasegawa (SK8 the Infinity) - Gryffindor with a spice of Ravenclaw. ✨ Naturally skilled and adept skater (after some serious hard work as a boarder), I think Langa wouldn't have wound up pursuing skating at all had he not gotten swept up into it through the series of events as outlined. But, in the new environment, he's able to leverage his previous expertise critically and playfully and ascend to awe inspiring heights. Doesn't mean he's not still a bit of a himbo. Affectionately, Reki and Langa at their core are idiot 🤝 idiot and we love them for it.

Anon, a BL that reminds you of Reki and Langa!? Drop the rec, bestie! How could you not include? Do I need to make a rules page? Pay the troll toll, guys!

[teaveetamer]

I know recency bias is a thing and there are worst fandom dramas from Steven Universe and Voltron but this has to be the worst drama I've seen from the Fire Emblem fandom (barring ship wars). If a fandom is at a point where they're spewing out death threats and lynching threats to irl people over a fictional female white character, then that is a point of no return and it puts a black mark on both the character and the game associated with them cause yeah, actions have consequences and toxic fandom behavior can taint a work (look at Steven Universe and Voltron) in the perception of the general public. I'm embarrassed and ashamed for anyone who thinks this shit is okay. Please stay safe and take care of yourself btw.

I get that it can be cathartic to point at someone you disagree with and go "haha look at how stupid they are" but christ. I can't imagine that being my entire fandom presence at this point, four years out from release. And not just like, vaguely talking about an opposing stance you've seen, but literally stalking and harassing specific people you don't like. It's not even restricted to FE at this point. Raxis has quite literally taken Nilsh posts about completely unrelated topics and posted them elsewhere so he can try and bait people completely unrelated to fire emblem into shit talking him. That's not even mentioning the fact that Nilsh was largely inactive for over a year and Raxis still would not leave the guy alone. He openly brags about "kicking the shit" out of him, "bitch slapping" him, fucking with Nilsh's mental health so bad he had to leave Tumblr entirely for a while just to get away from the guy, etc.

I think Nilsh acted rashly in response in the past few weeks, but at a certain point can I even blame him? He's literally been getting fucking stalked and harassed for two years. And he deleted the posts in question when we told him he might be going too far. They were literally deleted within hours of being made. He's been actively working with us to try and calm things down and what does Raxis do? What Raxis always does. Because he's not actually interested in deescalating the situation. He just wants a punching bag.

And fucking inb4 they come in with the "b-but Nilsh was mean to CaptainFlash!!!!!!!!" because that's always the excuse they use for mercilessly stalking and harassing people: if the only thing you actually wanted was for Nilsh to stop talking about CaptainFlash, then you would have stopped harassing him over a year ago when he stopped posting entirely. You would have never bothered harassing the multitude of people you've gone after who never said a peep about CaptainFlash. Quit hiding behind that shit excuse because we all see through it.

And the irony of loudly disavowing someone who does not speak English as a first language for making an innocent wording mistake while they're literally, actively arguing that talking about lynching people isn't toxic at all. I just. Some people really have The Audacity and not much else.

And don't worry, I'm fine. I'm not even angry. I'm just disappointed and sad. I think your well wishes are better spent on the people who have gotten it worse than me tbh.

[thatdesklamp]

Hi! I looked at your writing advice page and I think it was really good advice and has helped me a lot, but I was also wondering if you have advice on how to write dialogue?

Because I don't want it to sound boring and cheesy, but I also don't want my characters to be spewing pure Shakespeare lol.

When I read your works, I think you do really well and make things balanced and interesting, with even 3 word sentences :)

Do you have advice?

yo yes I kind of do.

I struggled with writing dialogue most out of anything when I started writing--I'd have to force myself to write it, instead of writing paragraphs upon paragraphs of internal monologues--and so developed a 'Beginner's Method' that ended up working for me:

Talk to yourself as the characters and then write down what you end up saying

For me, this involved pacing around my room and muttering to myself like I was slightly deranged, and then pouncing on my laptop every few minutes to speedtype anything good I came up with. It works best when there's an exchange between only two characters, and you have a general idea of where the scene should go.

Now, this may be the theatre kid in me, but 'acting out' what the characters should say helped me figure out their characterisation better, as well as their vocal mannerisms and inflections to try to make each person 'sound' unique, as well as figuring out how the conversation should flow naturally. It's easy for things to sound forced when you're sitting down and staring at a laptop, so actually getting up and moving actually helped a lot.

Only write out what the characters say, nothing else

At the beginning, I only ever wrote the dialogue. It was just lines and lines that looked like this: I don't think you're right about this made-up conflict we're going to be talking about / maybe i'm not / what do you mean / i mean maybe i agree with you, i'm not right about this made-up conflict / yes you're not

This helps so much with figuring out the flow of the dialogue: you don't get bogged-down in making the writing flowery, or figuring out a really clever way to 'show' that a character is sad without 'telling' they're sad... firstly, just figure out what they're saying.

Add in the flowery bits afterwards

Adding in the 'Person A said' / 'She stared at him' / 'His voice wavered, like [blah blah blah words input here]' after you've written out dialogue helped me loads in the beginning. It then helps you structurally: you can look at your work 'zoomed-out', and make sure you're not clogging your writing with too much description, or too little description, or too much blank space, or too little, or... etc. Nowadays I don't need to really do it like this, as I've got enough practice in that I can figure out the 'flow' as I go (haha) but there are still loads of times when I have a fab idea for how I want a scene to go, and so I just whizz out the dialogue as quick as I can, with only a few markers to help me figure out what I want the characters to be doing. Let me have a look in my notes app to try to see if I've got any IW examples.

[EDIT: HUZZAH!!! I FOUND ONE!!! Here’s literally proof of me doing this for a scene in Chapter 19 of ‘Intrinsic Warmth’:

Which was then expanded (by a biiiig degree!!) into this:

In the first one, I didn’t care about formatting, grammar, anything like that. I’m just concerned about getting the words onto the page, as I know I’ll be able to go over it later.

Other general tips:

Nothing is ever solved in one line

The reader's eyes skip over two lines of dialogue (Person A speaks / Person B responds) so, so quickly. I always noticed that it was like two lines were pretty much redundant until I padded them out with just... more lines. For something to seem significant to the reader, or for there to be a purpose for you to include it, I go with a general rule of four lines minimum.

This is because nobody's mind ever really changes in one or line of dialogue. People don't work like this:

Person A: I'll give you £5 for that dress.

Person B: No way. Minimum price, £10.

(Person A is now convinced and will pay £10)

There needs to be some more back-and-forth, for 90% of people. It's very rare that you'll ever find someone so naturally persuasive that they can change someone's mind in one line, or that someone is so easily convinced that their mind can be changed in one line. Most of the time, it'll look something more like this:

Person A: I'll give you £5 for that dress.

Person B: No way. Minimum price, £10.

Person A: I don't know... I've only got £10 in my purse, and that's for everything today.

Person B: Don't worry, Person A. You know I wouldn't cheat you out of your money!

(Person A is now convinced and will pay £10)

However, each line should still add something new. It could be that Person B tries a new method of convincing Person A, or that Person B tries again, saying essentially the same thing but in a different way. That 'different' way should convey something: are they more irritated, more casual, more angry?

Essentially, don't be afraid of writing more dialogue than less. This doesn't mean you should write random stuff, or dialogue that doesn't serve a purpose, but people talk a lot more than you think. Let them talk.

Use single lines of dialogue, it's okay

As in, the bits in italics:

"Hello," Person A said.

"Hello!"

"Heyyyy. What's up?"

Your reader can keep up with who's saying what, especially once you work on developing each character's 'voice'. I used to get so bogged down by making sure every line of dialogue had the character's name attached to it, but in truth you can write these 'single lines' much more than you think. It helps speed the writing up, and it stops your reader from getting that bored, imo.

I don't know what I'm doing to be so fr

Here's the truth: I don't think dialogue is one of my strengths, at the moment. I've spoken a lot about all of your characters finding their 'voice', so you could basically look only at the character's dialogue and you could know which character it is solely from the words that they're saying. It's important for character development, with dialogue being such an important tool to characterise your characters!

But I honestly don't think I'm the best at that. It's something that I'm consciously working on, and I think writing things other than IW will help me stretch those muscles, but it's honestly not something I've got cracked yet. Which is fine--I'm developing as an author! Everyone is, constantly--and I guess a way to say that I'm not tip-top at this, but as long as you're willing to put yourself out there (as in: start writing, start putting words on paper, that's all) then you're going to improve. And that's great! Ha-haaaa

[animeomegas]

In your post about Light and the reader being childhood friends, I absolutely loved it.💕

So if Light genuinely loved the reader, and the reader loved him back. Does that mean that they had both of their virginity's taken by each other?

If so, then can you give us some hc about it~?😏

And did they become mates after that? Who confessed first? I wanna know everything!📖✍👀

I'm glad you liked it!! I enjoyed that post too haha

Descriptions of n-sfw below~

Yeah, they absolutely lost their virginities to each other. How long they waited would depend on what the alpha's house was like.

At Light's house his mother was almost always there, and if she was gone, she wasn't gone for long, so losing your virginity at his house was not really feasible. If alpha's house was the same, they waited a bit longer, if alpha's house was reliably empty to longer periods of time, then they did it there earlier.

If it had been fully up to them, they would have mated literally immediately when they were like, 16.

They didn't though because of the drama that might've caused.

But they did get mated the second they were 18. Light hid his mark for a bit until he finished school. His alpha proposed in the summer between school and university, and only after Light had a ring on his finger did he reveal that he'd got mated. It was better for his image like that.

(Although part of me thinks it's hilarious for L to figure out that Light is mated while he's still in school and mention it in front of Light's dad XD Light denies it lol He will play the uncomfortable omega card if anyone asks to see his neck, pretending he doesn't want strange alphas to see somewhere like that now that he's older which is why he's wearing high necked jumpers. It works because people jump on L for making Light uncomfortable lmao.)

Both parties were very confident for their first time. They meant everything to each other, there was no embarrassment, they'd changed in front of each other before, they were just both committed to making it as pleasurable as possible for the other person.

Light wanted to lose his virginity riding his alpha because it felt less vulnerable and more like he had control.

That's his favourite position generally.

There was a lot of fumbling around and figuring stuff out, but they both really enjoyed that stage.

And they find out quite a lot about themselves during their first few times. Like Light loves being on top of his alpha and cannot stop spewing dirty words and phrases from his mouth unless you go hard enough to wipe the cocky look off of his face.

(Yes, both of them get off on talking about the perfect new world they're going to create. Psychos XD)

After their first time, they took every opportunity to try again lol, they're both completely love drunk on the other one, but they hate everyone else, so they spend as much time as possible with each other.

When L put cameras in Light room, he didn't use dirty magazines as the excuse for his secrecy, he used condoms and genuinely fucked his alpha for the cameras to throw L off.

Or, perhaps it'd be more accurate to say his alpha fucked him because he was playing the submissive omega as part of his plan.

They went to university in the same place, literally they couldn't handle not being together so they both stayed in the same part of Tokyo. Ideally, they would go to the same university, but if the alpha wasn't as academic, that wouldn't be an option.

Light and this alpha kissed for the first time when they were 12. They knew that their relationship was special, that they didn't feel things for anyone else but each other. It grew very gradually and naturally. Neither one was particularly moving thing forward more than the other, they were just moving forward together.

They absolutely write in the death note together and use each other to cover from L.

Light doesn't refrain from physical affection with his alpha when he's handcuffed to L. He says that he has needs like a normal person and if L doesn't like it he can take off the handcuffs.

When they both lose memory of the death note, they still have a crazy deep relationship that's very intensive.

And yeah, that's basically all I can think of at the moment haha.

It's a very nice soft yandere x soft yandere dynamic that confuses the hell out of L who watches them interact like he's watching a nature documentary.

:D

[helloliriels]

loved what you made of my last fake fic title so here is another one! eeeeek!

product in your hair

hehhehe

*hugs from a turtle* (as always no pressure tho!)

... ooohhhhhyeahhhh!!! Have sum real fluff this time, as promised!!! Haha ☺️😄💕

Product In Your Hair

John ran his fingers through his hair, making sure this was *more* ... waaaaay more product than he normally used!

If there was anything the genius hadn't picked up on yet - it was that John wasn't straight;

Wasn't dating anymore;

And was about to come undone every time he was around his gorgeous flatmate ...

............................

John grinned devilishly. Looking at his reflection in the mirror with satisfaction. Then topped it all of with a nice bit of setting spray.

There.

Time to play a game of 'deductions' with the world's greatest detective.

.

He took a deep breath ...

Psyched himself up ...

And headed out the door.

........................

"John, you've really outdone yourself tonight," Lestrade beamed, leaning in to be heard over the noise at the pub, "do you think he's noticed yet?"

John's eyes automatically rose to find Sherlock. Then he winked at Lestrade, catching Sherlock's eye from across the room as he leaned back. "Yeah ..." he nodded, "I think he's catching on, Greg - finally! Did I make it obvious enough?!"

He practically glowed.

Beaming with pride.

.

"Thank GAWD! At long last!" Lestrade gave him a hearty pump on the shoulder. Smiling up at John's reclining figure. At ease. At home at last, in his own skin ... "Seeing you like this ... makes me proud John. I'm so happy-!"

Sherlock was suddenly wedged between them.

Eyes dialled in to the contact he had just interrupted. Razor sharp gaze on Greg's fingers, until they pulled back to his own glass ...

.

John could not comprehend quite how Sherlock had managed to move across the room so quickly, without their notice?

Let alone why ... ??

.

"Ah, Gordon. Good to know you had time this evening to hang out with the cool kids. No cases requiring your overworked and underpaid attentions? Or perhaps you came tonight to request my assistance ...? Continually out-of-your depth, as always. I hope you were giving John all the details ..."

Sherlock’s deductive insults began rattling out - rapid fire - and John covered his face in mortification. Quietly dying a little inside as the genius prattled on and on ...

"Did I notice you were leaning into the bar more heavily than normal, Geoff? Your stomach was making enough noise to rival this frankly alarming establishment," he continued, "probably not the best idea, these chips ..." as he moved them out of reach ...

John zoned out. Ignoring the words being spoken. Hearing only the sound of Sherlock's tone. Cutting it's way through all else ...

Sherlock was jealous ...

Sherlock was JeALoUS ...

Sherlock was ... ?!

.

John was an idiot.

.

He groaned into his hands and a frantic giggle escaped, realizing how stupid he'd been not to just SAY something! To stick like GLUE to Sherlock's side until the braniac actually caught on!

"... perhaps we should all move over there?" Sherlock pointed to a booth nearer the loos, "Does your doctor know you're developing Ulceritive Colitis? I DO hope they've suggested treatments for someone of your advancing age ..."

How could a genius be this thick!?! ... John wondered ... even as the words spewing forth became more viscious and belittling. John came to and realized he had better make it STOP. And NOW!

"Sherlock?" He tried quietly.

".. you really should see someone for the thinning hair and extra weight you've been putting on, too. John and I agreed it's at least 15 pounds-"

"SherLOCK ..." John tried again. Growling.

Sherlock continued regardless.

"SHERLOCK!!" John shouted!

Catching everyone by surprise.

.

You could hear a pin drop.

John's small stature seemed to suddenly take up the whole room.

Sherlock stared down at the floor. Pursed lips. Hands held behind his back.

A schoolboy. Caught.

Embarrassment. Anger. Frustration. Hurt. Panic. Flashed in those eyes as he dared to meet John's commanding gaze ...

.

"That's enough." John calmed his voice down. Having the attention he needed now, and having ceased the damage from continuing ...

The noise in the room picked back up. A backdrop drowning out any further attention towards them alone.

John stepped over and pulled Sherlock aside.

"Bloody git!" he seethed, "you didn't have to go at Lestrade like that!" He still held on to Sherlock’s arm, tugging him along. Sherlock was not protesting. Not arguing. Just letting John lead.

John stopped. Took a deep breath. Pinched the bridge of his nose and gave Sherlock a second before physically turning him so they faced each other ...

"You noticed," John stated. Nodding for agreement, "I assume you noticed my hair??"

Sherlock nodded.

Swallowing.

.

"And you drew some conclusions?" John continued.

Again, a nod.

.

"I want to hear you say them," John commanded. Arms folded.

"You put product in your hair." Sherlock announced it as if he had just declared the death of a family member. "You've decided to embrace your bisexual nature and moved in on the nearest male of approachable target age."

.

"Jesus, Sherlock?!" John laughed, incredulous at how close ... and yet how FAR from correct the deductions were!!

... He immediately regretted it.

.

Sherlock looked at him, pained. Turning away.

.

"NOooOoo!" John declared. Grabbing and latching on to Sherlock's warm hand ...

"You're so close!" John praised, "Brilliant even! ... and yet ... yet you've overlooked the most obvious part of the equation??" John slipped his hand into Sherlock’s palm and pulled him close.

Arms snaking around the detectives hips.

Then he looked up with adoring eyes and waited ...

.

Sherlock stared at their connectedness. At the warmth of John on him.

On him.

On.

HIM.

.

Sherlock blinked.

"I'm apparently not being obvious enough?" John tsked, then holding Sherlock's face in his hands, pulled him down for an impromptu kiss...

"How's that for obvious?" He asked, not getting a reaction, "Didn't think I was after the belhop?" John pulled him into a kiss again! "The bar boy?" John teased, getting more cooperation and infinitely more blinks ...

"The guy playing billiards? Was I after him? Hmmm?" Sherlock met him halfway this time, greedily kissing John's lips like he was suffocating for air. Ironically making them both gasp and pant with the exertion.

"Now that's more like it!"

John grinned on reply, tugging Sherlock into the corner, where Sherlock quickly took over the lesson ...

.

"Oi! You two - get a room!" Greg cheered from the bar. Raising a glass to them both.

John and Sherlock both turned on him, shouting, "RUDe!" Then burst out laughing, holding onto each others sides as they doubled over with it ...

"Actually ..." John sobered, petting Sherlock's jacket lapel, and stealing a kiss by his ear whispered, "would you mind?"

Sherlock's eyebrows raised and he glanced towards the hotel lobby ...

A gleam in his eyes ...

.

Sorry this one took so long to answer! I wrote it like 3 different ways before I got what I was after! lol, I said I'd get to them all! 4 more to go!

[explorevenus]

Hiiii! I was out all day so I didn't get to drop in and respond to 🫧, nor did I get the chance to ask my silly littol questions that I'm always stacking up on 💀 (every time I don't have the time to send an ask, I write down my questions in my notes and ask when I can 😭) so I def wanna get to that soon, BUT! Before I do, I wanted to check in on you and make sure you were okay :(

I saw that you and tea made posts explaining yourselves in regards to some angry anons and it made me so upset. Like,, it's literal fiction 😭 it's not that srs. the fact that you two had to even make those posts to break things down for them is insane, like- Yall are taking things way too literal, of COURSE kidnapping is bad. Of COURSE stalking is bad. nobody said it was something that was condoned- it's literally for a fictional story because the plot is based around said dark topics, like?? 😭 kinda the point- idk I just felt the need to jump at your guys' aid bc it just upset me that you guys had to even explain yourselves ☹️ they shouldn't be interacting with things that they aren't comfortable with- the tags are RIGHT there. And also?? Idk like- if yall are mad about these fics, then keep that same energy with literally every dark media ever produced, like???? be so srs rn.

Like it's fine if yall don't wanna read stuff like this, nobody is forcing you- it's not everybody's cup of tea, I get that. but don't spew hate just bc you personally can't bring yourself to read it??

You don't have to post this if you don't want to, honey! Especially if you want some time away from this topic, no worries! I will understand <33 Just wanted to send some love your way because I can understand how frustrating or possibly even scary/discouraging it is to receive stuff like that- but your anons love you and we have your back! So please please continue to do ur thing, bb 🫶🏻🫶🏻 WE LOVE YOUR CONTENT RAAAAHHHHH 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

(This also goes out to dollrxst and nexyswrites if they see this <33 started with venus' yandere fic and expanded to you two HAHA) (+ but again, if you don't wanna post, don't be shy to share my message with them 🫡!!)

bottom line, don't let these bum ass bozos get to yall grrrrrr, your anon bbs got you 🫶🏻🫶🏻

MWAH TAKE IT EASY, MY LOVES!! 🩷🩷

- 🐕

okay first of all dog anon you're the best and i love you ;w; cc'ing @dollrxst and @nexyswrites just in case they need some words of encouragement <3

secondly i am perfectly fine, thank you for checking in <3 people are gonna do what they're gonna do and that includes taking fanfiction way too seriously lmfao. it's unfortunate and a bit annoying but ultimately it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, i've done my due diligence in tagging my shit and putting proper warnings on everything so if people wanna get upset about what i write, that's their prerogative lol

thanks for sticking around and checkin in and being supportive and sweet <3

[magicaltear]

Thanks for the tag @ailendolin! ♡ I'm sorry I'm doing this almost two months later, but better late than never!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

19 as of January 2024. I guess I'm a very slow writer, but I'm quite happy with my fics so far ♡

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

193,393. Huh. Sadly, less than I'd hope for.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've only ever written for 1917 and Marvel. I've been toying with some fic ideas for Star Wars, but nothing concrete yet.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. An Outside Chance (1,359 kudos - Marvel MCU)

2. In Every Universe (715 kudos - Marvel MCU)

3. I'm Better When I'm Dancing (161 kudos - Marvel MCU)

4. As Long As We Both Shall Live (74 kudos - 1917 film)

5. Echoes of Grief (57 kudos - Digimon Adventure: Last Evolution Kizuna)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! To every single one of them. It might take me a while, but I very much enjoy doing it. The fun thing about posting fanfic online is getting to hear people's thoughts and reactions. I'll always be grateful to all of my readers who take a moment to leave a comment on my chapters and stories ♡

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That would probably be A Million Is Only a Statistic because of the Major Character Death tag. The story follows Colonel Mackenzie and Major Hepburn from the 1917 film, who sadly do not have a happy ending in the fic.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mainly try to write Happy Endings because it is what I enjoy the most, so most of my fics are fairly feel-good stories. Maybe...Peace On Earth (Will Come To Stay) because I could have gone for a sadder ending in so many scenes, but I stubbornly stuck to the Everyone Lives happy ending I wanted for the 1917 characters.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, I don't! ♡ My readers are all absolutely amazing and very supportive. If anything, they might express their dislike for some characters in the fandom, but they never spew hate toward them or my writing. I appreciate them all so much ♡

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I haven't posted any, no, but I have started to practice that type of writing, too. I'd like to include small bits of it in future stories as another chance for character exploration, so I like the kind that helps the plot in that way. (So you won't be seeing any PWP from me any time soon haha!)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do, but not in the classic sense where characters from two fandoms get to interact in the same world. It's more of an alternate universe take, I think. All of them have been for the 1917 fandom so far, but I think my craziest one so far has to be The Great British Pastry War in which I dumped the 1917 characters into the GBBO competition LOL

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't believe I have, no. Let's keep it that way, shall we?

12. Does not exist apparently (:o)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! And it's a lot of fun~! Please Don't Go (Rushing By) is the only one I've co-written so far, and I hope my friend and I can complete it one day.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Oh gosh, there are just too many. I never really fall out of love with a ship because there are days when I will be struck with a craving for their dynamic or world so I'll look up fics about them. I guess I always return to Ironstrange, Johnlock, Frostcup, and Klance.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hmm, I really wish to continue my Dwelling Impressions series which is a BBC Ghosts AU for 1917, but it is honestly really low in my WIP list at the moment, to be honest :C

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told it's my dialogue and characterization. The characters really do act and sound like themselves in my stories, and that's something I'm rather grateful to hear. The point of fanfiction is being able to recognize your favorite characters in it, right?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I've been struggling with descriptions as of late. I got too used to writing simple cues for scripts, so flowery narration and interesting vocabulary have constantly eluded me. I've also been terrible at consistency, so I keep my poor readers waiting for longer than I'd like (but life has been busy so there's nothing much I can do about it orz)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done it a few times. I can speak three languages myself and know a few words in other languages as well, so I know from experience how your language wires can get all tangled in your head. Recently, I've stuck to simply writing the dialogue in English and simply stating in the dialogue tag that the line was spoken in another language for ease of reading.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Whoa, that would have been Naruto way back when Quizilla was still a thing. Maybe some 18 years ago now??? Hot damn.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh no, there's been a lot haha! One thing I like about my fanfics is that I will often go back and reread them because I write exactly what I like. That said...I really like In Every Universe, which is my Ironstrange rewrite of Multiverse of Madness, and my ongoing long fic An Outside Chance. As an honorary mention, I will add A Million Is Only a Statistic because it actually earned its place as an official part of the series that inspired it.

Tagging: @vannral @kiki-shortsnout @aelaer @stewardofningishzida

[morg-among-the-stars]

Happy March 29th, or as the nerds I'm friends with know it to be, Happy "Sing to Me Instead" Day!

While I could do my yearly raving about the album, I want to take a different approach and talk about the times of my life that coincided with Ben's music as a whole being released.

"Sing to Me Instead" came out in March of 2019 (5 years ago today!) I was 14 years old and newly coming into my queer identity. The music video for "Ease My Mind," a video that shows Ben and a portrayal of his partner in a soft, domestic setting, was legitimately the first time I saw two people of the same gender being happy together in that way. Before that, the word "gay" had been used against me in a derogatory way: "You look gay. / People are going to think you're gay if you dress like that." Not even in the sense of "dressing like a lesbian" (though queerness does not have a dress code, I should make clear), more in the sense of "gay = bad/something you don't want to be." So, to actually see a piece of what gay meant, and to see that it wasn't anything derogatory-- bad-- terrifying... was a huge moment for me. A moment that led me to find other queer media, leading into finding sapphic media such as the musical "The Prom" and music by "The Indigo Girls" and other queer female artists who I still love now, all this time later.

"Reverie" came out in August of 2021. I was 17 and happy with my identity, not dealing with the confusion and fear that I had felt amidst "Sing to Me Instead." I had entered my first ever relationship and thought I felt "reverie"-- pleasant daydreaming, calm, joy-- boy, oh, boy was I wrong. It was a love that hurt, a love that kicked me when I was down and bruised me. "dark times" and "leave my mind" were looped a lot, all the time, 24/7, because that was what helped me to drown out those words that person spewed to me, the words that bruised, slithered into my mind and heart and stuck like super glue-- so terribly hard to wash away-- and kicked me down far into a pit that I spent quite a long, long, long time digging myself out of. Thankfully, I am out of that pit, though the words haunt me sometimes. They fade with every passing day. Thank goodness.

"Honeymind" will come out on May 31st of this year. I will be 19 (as I am now). By then, my partner (@strawberryfemmesapphic) and I will have been together for a year. And while the album will not release on our anniversary (because Ben does not line up his release dates for one specific lesbian couple haha), it will be close enough. The way Ben describes love with this album's concept-- "my love for him somehow softens things up and slows it all down. Like all the jagged thoughts and fears and anxieties always jutting out in my brain are slowly smoothed out, until my whole mind is thickly coated and dripping with pervading warmth and sweetness."-- is the best way I can describe what I feel for her. I don't like to use other people's words, but this reigns true. The softness and ease I feel by just hearing their voice is unmatched. I sometimes visualize my thoughts as if they are tumbling downward like the scene in "Alice in Wonderland," where Alice first falls down the rabbit hole into Wonderland; falling fast and not easily able to climb back up the hole. (There I go using someone else's work to prove my point). Their voice alone can help my thoughts not be as scattered and to smooth out in a more manageable way. They view it as rambling, I view it as helping me in a way I have never been helped before. She gives me honeymind. After all the previously mentioned confusion and fear and heartache and sleepless nights, I have honeymind. My heart is safe, through every twist and turn it took for our paths to cross.

So, all in all, I am unbelievably grateful for Ben's music. These albums and songs have helped me through the most vulnerable times of growing into my teenage years and growing into my queerness. Finding and growing into healthy love, too.

<3

[casketscratch]

The neglect is so hard to come to terms with.

TWs for child abuse, trafficking mentions, alter talk, neglect, general spewing about it all, etc.

The neglect has been so hard to accept.

My mom divorced my bio dad when I was, what, 2 or 3? (Unfortunately, the abuse had started by then already, and every weekend he would take my sister and me to visit his parents, so that old lie I used to tell myself about how my dad was harmless really died a harsh death).

I grew up in a house with my mom, sister, maternal grandparents, sometimes an aunt, and my grandma babysat the neighbourhood's kids after school. She mostly paid attention to them.

I don't think anyone ever watched me. I think it was very easy for me to wander away from home. And I wanted to, often, because my maternal grandparents were abusive anyway. A lot of hiding in closets hoping not to be found. A lot of being hit and scared. So I spent a lot of time outside, just... roaming.

My mom was never around. I don't remember ever seeing her before school, and she would always get home late -- she was working and going to school. She just doesn't figure into my memory during that period at all, and she only shows up after she moved me and my sister into an apartment when I was 10 or 11. I remember everyone else, but my mom was mostly someone I saw in the evening and before bed.

My mom is convinced I was always home, never left the place, and couldn't have gotten up to much. My sister disagrees, she remembers a lot of the same things I do and the shit we'd get up to, so I have that confirmation. I was almost never home. I was almost always at someone else's place.

All the fucking time. And it made it so easy for... I don't know how to word this, I'm really struggling. I hate saying "for me to be preyed on" or something, but if the adults in my life were predators, then that's what fits, doesn't it? Prey.

I tried to run away from home so often, and when I brought this up with my mom, in a haha, remember when? way, she had no idea. Thought I'd just been kidding around, or something. The first time I always remembered (in that snapshot, crystal clear flashbulb way that always seems to mean Something Happened for us), I was 3 or 4 years old. I just walked out the front door and was determined to find a new family, or a pack of wolves to live with maybe, that'd've been fine! I didn't get far before a neighbour brought me back home. I was...

I typed "furious." I don't remember being furious. I remember being confused because I couldn't remember how I'd gotten there, and I was lost and scared suddenly. (Sometimes I write something and have to go like, oh, wow, Sacha was right, we really do have that DID-ass kind of DID.)

And I remember my aunt finding me in the ravine one night, years later, hiding under the leaves. She had her dog with her--one of those big fluffy german dogs she used in Search and Rescue. Finding me was a cakewalk. She promised to lie for me when we got home so I wouldn't get in trouble for getting lost, but I was trying to run away that time too. I don't remember how I got there, or why I was hiding.

I know my mom is just being defensive and really, I am not out to convince her of anything. She'll accept what she can, and I don't want to fight for the rest. But...

Where the fuck were the adults? Why was I allowed to spend so much time in other people's, other adults homes? My grandma was so busy watching every other kid in her "dayhome" that I went ignored. Any complaint I had, any injury, I was told I was lazy or bored or making it up for attention.

At some point I was so physically hurt I couldn't move off the couch and all she said was "growing pains" while finally offering me a heating pack. I was five, six years old. She's such a sweet old lady until... that stuff comes up. Anything about pain, it's like I wasn't allowed to be hurt in her eyes.

I always thought growing up in my grandparent's house wasn't so bad. But... the hiding in closets, the running away all the time, the screaming, the fear I felt just being home because someone would find some reason to lash out at me. Or ignore me, which was worse, because I'd start feeling like I wasn't real.

Why was I the only one around to care about me? Why did I do such a fucking bad job of it? If my dad hadn't hurt us first, would we have been able to stand up for ourselves? To do something other than forget all about it and do it again the next day?

The number one question I hear from people is always how my mom couldn't have known what was going on, but it's right there, isn't it. The answer's been the same all along. She wasn't there to see it. She didn't even have to pretend not to see it because she just was not there.

I guess I should be kinder to myself. We didn't do a bad job of taking care of us. We got through it alive. (And then there's a jab at the back of my brain about how it continued until 2018, though, so maybe we didn't do a great job!)

It is just a mess of feelings in here tonight.

[wttcsms]

Amber, I'm back to yell at you!!!! I'm literally dying over Most Noble what?! Its sooo good, i literally took a deep breath while my eyes watered cause of that ending! Oh to be in love with Sir Nanami 😍 He really is too much, the way he wants the mc so much, it gives off enemy to lovers vibes, with a lot of slow burn! Its so good the way I gasped when i read it on AO3 cause it said chapters 1/1 😭 No, its too good, YOU'RE the reason i even love Nanami so I refuse to believe thats it for them. But also thank you for that, it was such a good read the pining got me right in the feels i had to take a moment for myself to calm down. Please don't say its over 😭

Moving on lols, the way I read Balancing Act this morning! I wanted to scream, and I'm in no way a morning person but that one woke me up! Gojo being so self assured, I love that for him. The way you wrote the whole crew working for Gojo and Getou! Nanami saying that Getou is just like Gojo but would give himself 6 months instead KILLED ME!!!! Also just Nanami, and his whole work is shit rang through my head when you said he left then came back 😭 Just the way you wrote them all is soo good, the interaction between Gojo and Mc oooomph absolute genius! Utahime and Gojo friendship! Personally that little bit got me hook line and sinker cause i dont ship them 🫠 Finally that flashback of them as teenagers in high school!!! Yes queen him falling in love and not realizing it but also i loved that the mc ruined what i assumed would be his year of just fucking around! Its god tier I know im going to add this to my list of comfort fics!!!

hi hi, i was waiting til when i was less busy so that way i could give this lovely msg a proper response!!! as always, i love love love hearing ur thoughts and seeing u in my notifs makes me so happy, like kicking my feet and giggling happy because ur such an amazing reader and i love hearing ur thoughts on my work.

first of all, even w/out me, u would have fallen for nanami bc that's just the type of man he is. most noble was so fun to write purely bc i didn't have a set plot line in place, i just let the word vomit spew all over my docs and clicked post on tumblr. that being saidddddd, i am always open to revisiting our princess and sir nanami bc the fun part in writing mutual pining is the eventual getting together. like all fairytales, they are so gonna have a happy ending <3

im so happy you've read balancing act because for me, it's such a fun project and a way for me to not so subtly vent out any pent up feelings i had towards my experience in working in banking in nyc BAHAHAHA. i think workplace dynamics are so fun to write as well & i really wanted to incorporate just how blurry boundaries are within the field but also how close knit they truly are because most of the time, you see your coworkers more than your family and your significant other and it's hard not to become friends or something more (it's either that, or u all hate each other's guts LOL). geto and gojo would not be besties if they weren't both absolute menaces, i stand by that. utahime + gojo are lowkey MY dramione HAHA, and so i always like to write them in some type of relationship, whether that be platonic or romantic. they def squabble like siblings in this fic + it's going to be so much fun writing them in a diff light than i normally do (what's up for debate is whether or not i hint towards nanami x utahime :O) nanami found out that working in academia is JUST AS TOXIC as industry, so he's back bc, hey, at least he gets paid hella money, but we'll explore more nanami lore in balancing act once i decide on his exact role in the fic muahahaha.

thank you for always reaching out with your thoughts on my writing and just to chat in general, it means the world to me <3