#I'm just gonna ramble in the tags about this because I was really proud

[becca-e-barnes]

ur stucky shit is so good love u so much hope u have a great week

I had stucky bouncing around in my head today and I just need to talk about it 😩 And I hope you have a great week too!!

I really love the thought of mutual masturbation that dissolves into a threesome with Steve and Bucky. Like maybe you're all roommates? The three of you are more than aware that you all have needs and since you're attracted to each other, it almost just makes sense to get off together every now and again.

It's so much better like that anyway, getting to see those two beautiful men, stroking their own cocks while they watch you trail your fingers from your little fluttering hole to your throbbing clit.

"That feel good, angel?" Steve teases with a lazy smirk on his face, his strokes slowing down because he wants this to last. Whoever gets off first tends to get teased by the other two for having no self control and he's determined that it won't be him tonight. In all honesty, it's usually you.

"It's so good." You groan, rubbing tiny, well practiced circles over your own sensitive clit.

"It looks like it feels good. But then again, you were needy today. Bet you were thinking about this all morning. Got yourself all wet and messy before we had even started." Bucky wasn't wrong but it was hard to focus on anything he was saying with the thick droplet of precum rolling slowly down his shaft. You were desperate to taste it. Desperate to get on your knees in front of him and lap it up. But that's not a scenario you should be imagining. Not if you're trying to last.

"Some of these days you're gonna need more than just your own fingers, won't you, honey?" Steve's cock throbbed in his hand and you couldn't help but imagine the weight of it on your tongue or how it would feel to have him hitting the back of your throat.

"I'm surprised she hasn't given in already. Spent all this time showing us just how she likes to be touched. It's almost like she thinks we haven't picked up how to do it right." Bucky's eyes tear away from your glistening cunt, watching your expression carefully for any sign of discomfort at the turn this was taking.

Instead, you just looked even more blissed out and both men seemed to delight in that.

"Always wanted to taste you, doll. Not fair that you're the only one that gets to play with that pretty little pussy." Bucky was the first to move, taking your wrist gently to guide your fingers to his mouth and groaning pathetically as his hot, wet mouth engulfed them.

"You're missing out, Buck." Steve mumbled, settling between your spread legs and kissing up the inside of your bare thighs towards your soaked, neglected core. "Fuck, you're so easy to enjoy." He trailed the tip of his tongue so gently from your hole to your clit and it became difficult to focus on anything other than the two eager, insistent mouths on your skin.

[noxchievous]

Lemmy again

[itsyagurlchip]

HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIIIII BAPS YOU AROUND BAPS YOU AROUND BAPS YOU AROUND TACKLES YOU INTO A PILE OF PLUSHIES AND SKITTERING AWAY /AFF

COMING BACK BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK TO YOU AND I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIIIIIIII!!!!!

aha. i see... the post you tagged me in.... AND I SHALL DELIVER!!! kitty-delivery is at your service!!!!!!!!!!!! MYUHUHUUUUUU AWAWAWAWAAAAA (≧▽≦) (≧▽≦) (≧▽≦) (≧▽≦) (≧▽≦)

OKAYOKAYOKAY— so!! hmmmm.... what's up with gasty boy? what's gonna happen now that he's actually present and existing instead of scattered across everything everywhere all at once?? he's giving mad scientist but how far does the mad scientist go????? i'm interested in him 'cause i don't think i've ever read a sans au fic like this where the OG gaster was there too and i love the way you write them all!!!!!! or if you wanna do something else,, take this as an opportunity to infodump about anything you want!!!!! WAVE EMOJI WAVE EMOJI LOVE YOU CHICHIIII!!!! (≧▽≦)/ (≧▽≦)/

HAI KITTY <3333 SEEIN YO GUYS ALWAYS MAKES ME SMILE :) THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

alright, you already know that he's a mad scientist, but as i've said before, he's morally gray, which means a lot of things don't deter him of completing/doing experiments.

which is why the lil 'oopsie daysie' happened with machine, and that's why there are alternates at the manor.

sans and papyrus, at the least, are pissed about it. but this discovery makes gaster's nerdy big boy brain hyperfixate on anything relating to the topic of alternative universes (humans in this universe dont have much research about it other than the occasional movie that makes you think, and the theories.)

and if i go further into this id spoil some of the plot (which i already did enough of) sooo, lets think of some hypothetical scenarios and headcannons!

id say that reader (you) would get into the lab a lot. and while you can be a great lab assistant, lets be honest, you touch too much shi 💀💀

gaster would have this thing where he'd put you in he corner for 5 minutes before letting you interact with the work again.

when i think of gaster's experiments, not only do i think of vials of dangerous liquids, but i also think of a SHIT ton of notes just neatly organized into notebooks on a metal shelf

a lot of the pages are more about ramblings and tiny details rather than general info

so if you try to read it, please get some context dear.

i know most ppl have the headcannon that sans gets his sleepy eepies from his dad, but he completely developed that on his own

gaster has a schedule set to where he sleeps for 8 hours, and only has 3 hours of free time.

which means if you see the other 13 hours blocked on his schedule he will not acknowledge you unless you are helping him progress

Going back to his interests, i think his favorite part about science are the details that most people miss that just really bring the whole theory together into a fact.

bro prolly has some national scientist awards and threw that shi straight into the trash.

its not that he isnt proud of his achievements actually, not at all.

he just doesn't need someone else, better yet a human to tell him so

so he tries to ignore the public despite their incessant please for his presence ✨

Since gaster actually exists, he is still labeled as the royal scientist, despite not being apart of a monarchy anymore, and does favors for the king when the curiosity allows it.

I want him to be a grandfather figure, who rambles on about success in life, who is also emotionally repressed, who also takes many risks that a man his age shouldn't.

his ideas and experiments are very "out of the box" per say. Like, if you told him you cant see souls at all (which is most likely gonna happen) dudes gonna strap you down and ignore your cries of pain as he extracts the your soul from your chest. poking and prodding at it to compare it to a monster soul.

i mean, he has the real thing now! no need to rely in outdated textbooks and theories right? why not test it for himself? and if you resent him for the rest of your life for it, he would tell you how lucky you are to still be alive and that he got what he wanted without losing a "potential specimen".

which makes you wonder what other lives has gaster been liable for??...oh well!

And noowwww back to the reader!

since reader is now gonna be a big part of his life- he'll allow certain things to slide. as you live more and more with him and the gang, he'll call you assistant or human and not by your real name.

i dont think gaster would spend much time around you during his scheduled hours (he kicks you out half the time)

but during his free time, and since you're human, he is very curious.

he asks about you, what it's like being a human female, what makes your skin darker than other humans, and why'd you conjoin your hair-

just lots of general questions about your appearance and how humans literally dont use INTENT at all.

and yes, INTENT, DETERMINATION, ATK, LOVE, and much more terms from undertale will be used in this fic. so i suggest getting into the fandom vocab a bit when you can-

but to put it simply, INTENT is like another way of language for monsters. it's pretty much what it says, but to break it down: intent is something that you do with purpose.

personally, i headcannon intent to be more intune with emotions and how the user feels and/or wants to feel in the moment. for example "aggressive and murderous intent" or "caring, sweet, and loving intent." and INTENT carries magic within it, hence why monsters are so in tune with internal emotions while humans aren't. and that's why monsters re more in danger with humans than any other creature, because humans used unknowing intent that could kill a monster in one hit.

Surprisingly enough he doesn't like to spend his breaks at home in his bed.

instead, he goes out to muffet's for a very specific coffee order, and a spider muffin.

half of the time he'll make you pay with your own money, crippling your pockets.

other times he'll roll his eyes when you "forget" to bring your wallet and get you only a drink off the menu.

if you catch him as he's leaving out for a break, gaster may sometimes not go to muffet's at all and find a park to watch kids trip at.

or maybe a grass field during golden hour.

im not gonna say that gaster hates kids, but it's moreso that fact that they...are underdeveloped, and therefore harder to understand in his eyes.

as ive said before, this guys ignores his feelings, so he gets uncomfortable when people show theirs.

so when you cry, or get angry in situations that dont seem as big to him as it does to you, he lowkey cringes a bit.

but since.. *sigh* you're now his pupil, as well as someone who takes his work more seriously than others (DESPITE YOUR TENDENCY TO TOUCH SHIT)

he has to take of you now! and *gags* comfort you

bro cant comfort for shit (which is one of the reasons why they dont have plants at their house)

so when you hug him with your snotty face... and your...wet tears, he shivers aggressively but tries to keep still

yea he doesn't hug back at all, its bad enough he has to watch you!

(or maybe it's bc he doesn't know how to hug back 👀)

In this au, the reader is canon to the universe. not isekaid, not transported, no. she lives there and the code is accurate. so any and all timelines will include her.

and timelines are gonna be a "what if", or maybe a chapter for angst. idk yet. And in this fic, imma make the choice for flowey not to remember resets. but only due to his will (cool right?).

frisk isn't really gonna be included much into the plot, only when it calls for it.

oh shit- back to gaster

not sure if i said this before, but warming up to gaster even the littlest bit is like reading a 100 chapter slowburn.

it's gonna take a long time, hell, maybe a year or so, for him and reader to start actually building a granddaughter/grandpa relationship. so while youre still getting to know him, it's like he's avoiding you, (but you clearly don't read his schedule enough sooooo)

and when you guys finally get to that point, you guys are like buddies. he'll ramble to you about certain topics, while you sit and listen.

you'd watch movies with him as he overanalyzes characters and plots, only to fuck it up and end up with something different, claiming "he could write a better one".

gaster loves helping you study

even if it's for a 5 question quiz, he'll help you out as much as he can!

plus, id be a shame if the ✨Smartest Man On the Surface ™✨ let his little human fail!

nuh uh, not happening!!!

he's very proud of you everytime you get an assignment back with an A with lots of praise from the teachers.

he'll even try to get you in a routine (which rarely works often, as easy as it seems)

gaster chuckles every time you make him a homemade snack, or lunch meal, it warms his little heart ❤️

Other times he can't stand your attitude

Why cant you control yourself in situations that aren't bigger than you make it seem?

it racks his big brain so much, that he bans you from the lab for 3 days when stuff like that happens.

he really hates it when someone has a tone with him, it grinds against some part of his brain the makes his more "violent" and intrusive thoughts.

its not noticable at first, at least not to him, but after the 1st hour he begins thinking

"humans have skeletons right?"

"what would skin all in a pile look like?"

"what would happen if he gripped, squeezed and strangled a soul made of pure determination?"

of course, he already knows that answer to those. and if you dont, just ask frisk.

im sure they remember very well.

but after the intrusive thoughts go away, he's just left seething in anger.

i feel like gaster (,similar to donnie from rise) has a hard time understanding other people, because he's been alone for most of his life.

and that makes him jealous of you.

but in the end, you'll always be gaster's little assistant ❤️

(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و tags: @kittykittyanon @radicallxser @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl @ziipzeepzop-eez @spongejuice @amorisbackandbetterthanever @cyb3r-st4r if you would like to be added, check my blog. if you would like to be added, check my blog. SEE? I SAID IT TWICE!!

[gxthicbat]

I'm gonna be rambling about Toffee of Septarisis, and how I got into my obsession lol so read it or not IDC.

(Pretty long though)

I love Toffee so much. I remember the 1st time I saw him on television and had his screen time in fortune cookies, (WHICH WAS SO LONG AGO) I was blushing and squealing bro, like he was very cool looking, and he was probably my 1st fictional crush and comfort character. Every single time I saw him on screen. I was hella giddy.

Anyway, after I got older I saw his potential and I saw him as an amazing villain and a character itself. I always liked Toffee and never hated him.

After a couple of years got by, I was focusing on other fandoms and characters, and completely forgot about the svtfoe fandom.. but one day. I was on TikTok scrolling then I saw a Svtfoe video! It didn't include Toffee, but it made me think "omg I remember this show!!" I liked the video and scrolled. But then another thought came up. I was thinking "Wait. Wasn't there a character I liked in that show?" I scrolled back up and went to the svtfoe tags, I tried looking for the character I used to be giddy for. Then I saw HIM. (Toffee duh) I started to blush and get giddy again. (call me weird IDC lol)

So after the return of my svtfoe obsession and Toffee, I caught up on it and started to ramble it to my friends and my sister. (I got her in the toffee fandom lol) and yeah basically I started to obsess over the show and the character again.

More years have gone by. I kept making svtfoe and Toffee art and videos. But I never really posted them. I only showed them to my sister. I had no account on anything.

So I came up with an idea in the last year's January. I DECIDED TO MAKE AN ACCOUNT AND RAMBLE ABOUT TOFFEE AND THE SVTFOE FANDOM. I was scared at first because I had a great fear people would call me weird for liking Toffee. But it never really came out that way. I met people who liked toffee and I was extremely happy. (They're now my mutual & they're all super cool ♡)

Anyway, I started to post about Toffee and show my love for him. I never even thought it would come to this. I love the Toffee and svtfoe fandom. I am grateful for this fandom I got into.

(There is more to this story but I ain't explaing in detail lol or i just forgot..)

I LOVE TOFFEE AND I'M PROUD TO SAY IT MUAHAHA!!!!

[gendervapor14]

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

9. How do you find new fic to read?

10. How do you decide what to write?

(if not answered already), and 37 & 38! Fanfic ask meme❤️

ooh hello!! thank you for these!! i did answer #38, but i'll answer #37 for sure!

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

ooooo as a music nerd i love this question and i apologize for how longwinded my answer is XD i don't do many songfics or much song-related writing [*shoves the title of two fights for freedom under the rug*] but i do have a ton of playlists and songs that make me think of specific characters or fics. to answer this question, i'll just pick one called "Fever Dream" by Dirt Poor Robins. specifically the part starting just after the 4:00 minute mark. the lyrics make me go INSANE with this idea for a dark/horror dq bros fic where doflamingo realizes that corazon is just a false identity and he can't do anything to get his brother back and it drives him even more insane. these lyrics make me crazy Now here comes the liar (lion) Clawing at your door Drunk on the blood of your brother And he's back for more (apparently the lyric is actually "lion" rather than "liar", but i hear "liar" so therefore i declare it is "liar" for the sake of my own brainrot) imagine a fic where rosinante is the one psychologically tormenting doflamingo!! unsure if i'll ever get around to writing it, but it'd probably have a similar vibe to blood gone sour.

9. How do you find new fic to read?

i usually do a nightly prowl under the one piece fandom on ao3 and either filter by most recent fics with rosinante or bell-mere. otherwise i read recs that are bumped on discord servers, or stories friends write! i'm actually terrible at reading tho i don't read nearly enough. when i have free time, i usually use it to create.

10. How do you decide what to write?

excellent question. i make a list of priorities. sometimes it's disorganized lists on my phone, sometimes i use calendars. first and foremost are things with due dates, so zine work, or gifts for exchanges, birthdays or holidays. next i prioritize stories that are works in progress, but already posted on ao3. i hate having incomplete works posted on ao3, so i strive to get them wrapped up asap. then it's a rabid thunderdome of all my other wips and ideas all wrestling for victory for who gets to be created XD i'm constantly bursting with ideas i never get to work on, unfortunately.

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

i'm gonna go ahead and promote spitfire and ice because i busted my ass on this for the crackpair event and i was actually really happy with the result? i was assigned makino x kuzan, so i threw bell-mere in there too just to shake things up, and then i fell madly in love with bell-mere x makino and their flirty banter. it captured my heart in a way i was NOT expecting. i guess the tags aren't particularly interesting to most, so it's relatively unknown with only 4 kudos and 31 hits. but look at this!! “Hey, I’ve gotta ask you something.” She leaned over the counter once Makino settled herself and refilled the pitcher for the next round. “Would I still be wanted here…after hours?” With a tight smile, Makino rested her hands over the tabletop. “We’re closed for customers after hours. I need some time to tidy up the place.” “Right, right…” Pretty gray eyes wandered. “But in this situation, I wouldn’t be a customer.” With an amused chuckle, Makino folded her arms over her stomach. “What do you want me to say, Miss Bell-mère? Do you want me to welcome you to my private quarters upstairs?” That exposed chest filled with air. “I wouldn’t be against an invitation.” smh. well, at least i'm proud of it!

ahhh sorry i got so rambly XD i had fun answering these! thank you so much for the questions!! here's the list if anyone else has a question, or wants to reblog it for themselves!

[cl0wntwn]

I HAVE BEEN INSPIRED TO TALK ABOUT MY CATHAL INTERP

ok hi wow i'm posting something that isn't what i usually do but i want to share because. idk i'm autistic abt cathal and my personal interp could be taken as a mischaracterization(?) of the character so i want to ramble. it's a mix of projections, my interpretations of things cathal says/does, and headcanons. this is just gonna be a glorified bulletpoint list with little to no organization im so sorry. this obviously be inspired by this post cause i love it so much i'm rotating it in my mind please go check it out. this whole ramble was supposed to go into the tags of that post but i think i can organize it better in a text post. i can also share it easier. but please go read that post if u haven't :D

first things first, cathal is depressed.

ain't that a shocker? he's been depressed for a while, but it never really got to "i don't want to do anything ever" until he was hired at C.O.G.S. inc., and even then it's not really the main reason. it does make it hard for him to do things that he's asked of. he's not incapable of doing things though, unless he's like. super unmotivated or sad.

cathal is a papa's boy.

he loves his dad. ever since he was a kid, he's loved his dad. he appreciates the patience he has with him, he appreciates that his dad is willing to take hit for him not doing his work, his dad is first and foremost in his mind. his dad comes before his own wellbeing. which goes into my next point well...

seeing his dad being destroyed every day hurts cathal bad.

it is the main reason he hates working at C.O.G.S. inc.. yeah, the work sucks, it leaves him drained most of the time (which i will hit later), but the fact that he has to watch his own father basically fall to his death every day makes it all so much worse. not to mention he has a clear view of it from his office.

how does cathal cope with this stuff?

by distracting himself. and not doing his work at all. the work he has to do already drains him and what little energy his depression gives him, but i don't think seeing your dad dying every day helps with motivation. he distracts himself by watching tv and ignoring what he needs to do.

this is not to say that he is unaware of the work he has to do, he knows all the work he puts off piles up on him. but piles of work doesn't seem like the most easy thing to do... so he just keeps putting it off and putting it off, and his dad lets him get away with it by making excuses for him. it stresses him out, which makes him not want to do it more, and the cycle continues...

also believe it or not, cathal actually thinks about the future and is very stressed about it.

he knows that when his dad either retires or... can't work anymore, cathal's going to be the new department lead. and because he has literally no experience working where he is now. he's scared he's gonna get thrown into work he doesn't know how to do or doesn't want to do.

so why did cathal apply at C.O.G.S. inc. in the first place?

short answer, he wanted to make his dad proud and didn't process the gravity of applying to C.O.G.S. inc.. he didn't think it would take so much effort and energy to work a full time job. but now that he's been in it for a while, he's afraid to quit. he doesn't want to upset his dad or make the lack of work he's done worse by throwing it on others.

aaaand that's all i can think of. if i can think of anything else i'll edit this post and reblog it or smth. thank u for reading <3

[system-of-a-feather]

DISCLAIMER SECTION

I'm gonna ramble about race / cultural experiences and trauma (probably) and this time it really isn't a line of thought ignited by syscourse or anything - but I'll tag it's tw anyways cause I'd rather people be able to filter it out than get it out there, but anyways

(for the note this was actually spurred on from a number of conversations I was having with a few parts today at work, one of which being that post about "diagnosed early vs diagnosed late" trauma; none of these points necessarily reply to that but for transparency and context)

For all of this, if any points or topics relate or resonate with you, feel free to comment, reblog, discuss, whatever on this post. Theres a lot of trauma talk on this and some level of details (CW will be provided before each section along with CW: clears), but none of this is really intended as a vent or trauma dump as much as... ya know, just talking about it as it is.

--------

As we've gotten further and further along with our healing, we've come to be a lot more open and comfortable talking about topics specifically relating to our trauma - at least in a C-PTSD / paranoid about giving out things that can be used to hurt us sense - and that is honestly really great and I'm really happy and proud for that

The thing is though, even though we've mostly declawed how easily our main triggers can be poked at and thus enabled us to feel more confident and ok talking about it, we honestly still are hesitant to do so for two main reasons.

One, being a simple lack of motivation to do so as it doesn't really come up and we don't really think about it more than we have to and often when we have to its usually not a place of mind we have the spoons to talk about it - ya know, normal healthy things.

The second though is because we've really come to learn that a lot of people in online trauma and dissociative communities really don't understand a lot of the largest and foundational themes of the trauma we went through and in my experience in the community, more often than not the response I've gotten from sharing that sort of things have always been more uncomfortable at best than helpful or positive.

And I think there are like... maybe three main things about our childhood core trauma that just make it hard to talk about with the tone of the community + the general heavily white area. This isn't meant to be like "oh you are bad if you fall into this" or anything, I don't have any ill intent or "call out" to really anyone even those who might heavily contribute to this cause its not that much talked on afaik. Mostly talking about this in a sort of, I guess commentary? I dunno, food for thought I guess.

But the first area...

as you might expect from this post and some previous ones, is that due to the fact that the community is heavily white-person run and driven and filled with many white peers, a lot of the talk and understanding of "trauma" and what kind of "chronic childhood trauma" typically looks like to form DID is informed by a white and western standard of trauma. And that isn't to say it is WRONG or BAD, but it makes it so that there is an inherent understanding that anything that differs from that is typically "better" rather than looking at the differences in a large scale cultural-context lens. And this sort of stuff has on MULTIPLE occasions had people respond to me venting or sighing about trauma-related stuff and stating that they wish they had that growing up - which I absolutely understand but it is OBVIOUSLY intensely insensitive and lacking in insight. I don't think any of those people who made those comments MEANT bad, but the nature of the discussion of trauma in these spaces being so heavily white centric and run has made it so that people forget to take culture into account and over simplify trauma into this "A is bad and B is - even when bad as well - inherently better". There is probably a level of classism / assumptions based on class as well somewhere in there, but thats a line of thought I hadn't thought much on past just a "yeah that probably plays a role".

(CW: RAMCOA related topics, CSA, etc)

The second...

is that our relationship with our sister falls awkwardly into the "not programming" in the sense of it's scale and intensity, but it would also be incredibly understated to just call it "conditioning" either and this might just be a "my feelings" on the matter than an actual reflection of the community, but I do often feel as though the nature of it not being either would result in it either being minimized OR people assuming I am trying to claim that I have the same thing as those that experienced programming and its just a really awkward place to be in. There is a lot of black and white talk regarding psychological abuse perpetuated by a person in power who has knowledge of DID and toyed with you as an experiment and project by intentionally learning to manipulate the parts. It wasn't at all the same level of proper RAMCOA, but it also was not just "conditioned learning" as our dissociation was actively targeted as a mechanism to create an unquestioning pet - that of which ended off getting pettled off to the a pedophile.

The complexity and nuances of the trauma and relationship we had with our sister like that combined with the very black and white language regarding trauma talk of that kind has made it just really awkward to try to explain to people because its really not either but as far as I know there isn't a term for whatever it was either. While chatting with a part (forgot which honestly whoops) we were thinking of officially just making our own term of like "trained" but idk, we aren't the coining type of folk so *shrugs*

(CW: CLEARED)

The third area...

Is just how messy and black and white the talk around autism. To those that haven't followed this blog from the earliest of early days, it might seem as though we were recently diagnosed with autism (technically true) and thats it and all, but autism has been a HUGELY prevalent part of our childhood and trauma history and honestly none of it really fits into the common narratives in PTSD / CDD spaces.

Firstly, we were neither really "early diagnosed" OR "late diagnosed" as our parents and my oldest sister (who was early diagnosed) noticed it EARLY on and immediately shaped my entire life around my "Aspergers" diagnosis that I was told I had when I actually never saw a professional for. Regardless, to my knowledge, I was diagnosed with aspergers from age 4 until they changed it to ASD and I asked my mom about it again at 15 or 16 when I started seeing a therapist and found out she never actually had me formally diagnosed. I then became "undiagnosable" due to the disorders that they COULD confirm, plus the weird relationship with my sister, and that I was raised in a "heavily autistic environment" where it was very plausible that I simply learned autistic behaviors as - at the time, thank you DID - I was too high functioning / masking and didn't appear to have significant impairment in any other areas other than being "a bit weird" in terms of how I view society and behavior again, both of which could be accounted for by environment + C-PTSD. It wasn't until well after I cleared stabilization for DID and undid a lot of the intense training our sister put us through, did our masking drastically decrease and it became apparent that yeah, we actually are largely impacted by ASD which ended up with us in the last few months being diagnosed. We were diagnosed early, undiagnosed, labeled "can not confirm nor deny if this is ASD", then diagnosed late, all simultaneously and so we don't really know where our word would fall in the general pecking order of "which group does your experiences fall into".

The OTHER thing is that our two primary abusers were autistic and their autism WAS inherently a part of the trauma that we went through and a lot of the talk of autism on the internet is so 'low supports needs' centric and sugar coated that it is very hard to feel comfortable commenting on how actually ugly and harmful autism can be to the individual AND those around them. This isn't to say its Autistic Abuse or any of that garbage, but my abusers autism is not a negligible or coincidental aspect of their abuse. It didn't make them an abuser, but it was still a large part of it.

(CW: Physical abuse and neglect)

My dad is confusing for 5000 reasons and anyone whose had DMs with me for over a year will know I sometimes share some of the REALLY confusing things about my dad (pretty sure he has DID as well but thats a conspiracy theory), but between his cultural trauma, coming from a """third world""" country, and having missed out on certain learning targets growing up due to the aforementioned first two - he has never been given the information, coping skills, treatment, or context to handle his symptoms in anything close to a healthy way. Its only now that hes (I think) in his 60s that my mom got a better understanding of everything that he's gotten any support, but with the sheer lack of assistance in his childhood, teenage years, and adulthood, its both a large task and honestly arguably not fair on him to try to get him to understand it beyond what is necessary to give him a life worth living.

But again, he had no ability and no tools to navigate his symptoms due to his complex and unfortunate situation and he absolutely did the best he could with what he had. Some parts in the system don't forgive him, but almost all of them understand and respect the intent at least. For example, we were poorly fed (and when we were it was usually garbage; think KFC 5/7 days a week for dinner) until we were 16 and able to drag the family into actually cooking because my dad would get into violent and aggressive meltdowns over ANY food smells, ANY mess, and ANY warmth. Cooking was basically forbidden until then because everyone was too afraid to risk it. Like there is a lot more to that, but its not something I'm given as clear access to and I aint gonna pry, but most of the most abusive behavior from him could very much be stemmed down to a sensory or communication issue regarding his untreated autism and a lack of ability to cope with it resulting in violent meltdowns.

(CW: CLEARED)

(CW: ABA)

Likewise, my sister who had been given ABA, from a young age taught me "how to survive in the world as an autistic person" and directly passed on HER version of ABA and HER understanding of autism onto me, which was just a garbage, intentional or not, way to excuse making me into her pet project rather than actually coping with her own trauma. (Plus 95% of the "information" she "taught" me was garbage including the infamous "having multiple consciousnesses in your head is a normal autism thing as long as there are less than 5" that I clown on every other day)

(CW: CLEARED)

I dunno really how to wrap this up, its like a conglomeration of thoughts we had today so its not really well organized but like... I guess AHEM *puts on my highschool english essay hat*

And so I conclude my essay on *checks notes* reasons I feel weird talking about trauma in online spaces? I think thats the point of this post? Idk I'm just rambling XD

[melodraca]

Hey! I saw in one of your posts, in the tags, that you were an English major. I'm going to college soon, and I was wondering if you had any advice on picking out your major. What do you like about majoring in English, and what exactly do English majors do? Thank you!

First of all, congrats! That's really exciting! I really hope you enjoy your time in college! Second, this is gonna be a bit long, so I apologize in advance o7

I'm honestly not sure how helpful this is, but for the longest time I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I actually enrolled in university as a mature student a good 5-ish years after I graduated high school. I was so tired of school-related stress (and the way that the public school system functioned in general) that I was honestly considering not even going to post-secondary. I bounced between different potential majors, although I couldn't help but feel tired just thinking about them, like I would be going to school out of obligation or societal expectation rather than genuine passion.

When I came back around to the idea years later, I started poking around my local university's website. As I was going through, reading everything over, and clicking through different subjects, I realized that I was actually really feeling excited about school for the first time... pretty much ever. Because I realized that I had the chance to do things at my own pace, with a focus on subjects that I actually liked, rather than what my family expected would get me a traditionally "good job."

I narrowed my major down to a choice between English and creative writing, but I ultimately went with English. As much as I love creative writing, I prefer doing it as a hobby. It's the same with art for me: getting too serious with it made me feel less passionate and creative (to be fair though, I did take two first year creative writing classes as electives and I am genuinely proud of the stuff I wrote for them!)

With English, I could do my favourite thing in the world: overthinking literature and talking ad nauseam about the media I like. I love rambling, and writing essays is pretty much just organized info-dumping. I also wanted to learn more about history and culture, especially the way that they influence and are influenced by the works of literature, film, etc. of the times. In my experience so far, English classes have mostly consisted of reading or watching a bunch of texts, analyzing them & picking them apart, discussing said texts with my peers, and comparing/contextualizing them with each other. It's way more fun for me than it probably sounds to most people haha

Side note: I'm also taking biology as a minor (specifically with a focus on zoology because I love animals). The contrast between using the more creative and writerly side of my brain, and the more logical sciencey and side works well for me.

I'm still not super career focused, though I have certainly thought about it. I'm on disability support right now, so thankfully I'm fortunate enough to not need to juggle work and school. Ideally, I would love it if my degree landed me a stable job that doesn't make me feel miserable or put the same strain on me that retail and food service do. But I'm kinda just going with the flow for now.

Anyways, that's all to say: look over all of your options and narrow it down to the ones that draw your interest and passion the most. Consider what you want out of school, explore the potential career options that each subject could bring if that's your goal, and generally go with what makes you feel the best.

I know most schools have exploratory courses and academic advisors that can help you figure out what you want to do, so I would definitely look into that! Oh, and look into the required classes for each subject too! It personally helped me organize and prepare for everything I would need to do so that I was less blind-sighted by, as an example, my mandatory statistics class for my biology minor (I'm DEFINITELY not a math person)

Good luck, and I'm sorry again for how long this got! I wish you the best :D

[zombolouge]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by the incomparable and enchanting @icescrabblerjerky , and you caught me while I'm already comparing writing stats for other things so this fits in well with that task ;)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 19 baybeee

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 2,319,545. I am. Verbose.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Legend of Zelda, Ace Attorney, Mystic Messenger, and then I wrote the novelization of the song 6969 by Ninja Sex Party and a Caduceus character study for CR.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Indefensible (Ace Attorney) has 1,234 (HA!)

As Bright as the Stars (Mystic Messenger) has 1111 (ALSO HA)

Tearing Down the Heavens (Dragon Age: Inquisition) has 730

Hundred Years in the Making (LoZ: Breath of the Wild) has 627

We Are Ferelden (Dragon Age: Origins) has 271

Genuinely really surprised none of the Mass Effect fics are in this category, I'm so proud of those XD

5. Do you respond to comments? Absolutely always, whenever possible. lol I will also ramble at anyone that asks me questions.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably The Traveler, which I warn you from the very start has a sad ending. It's Dragon Age fic retelling the stories Solas tells of his time dreaming in the Fade, with the trappings of a Doctor Who theme in which he travels through the fade with a series of companions.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Uhhhhhhh I think probably We Are Ferelden comes closes to a happy ending? Eventually I will give my DA series an actual happy ending though. Most of them end either bittersweet in some way or as a sort of non-ending ending because I know the story continues.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I've gotten a wee bit of hate on the Zelda fic, Hundred Years in the Making, but it was fairly mild. I don't really respond to it much though because it's hard for a stranger to say something that will actually hurt my fee fees XD

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Oh yeah, sure. Most my fics contain smut of some kind. I don't really write smut without plot, though, it's gotta be a natural part of the narrative or I just lose interest.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I have not. I just haven't thought of one that caught my attention enough to want to write it down.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of. I have had some lines and suggestions used, but usually that's with credit. lol now I HAVE had jokes and things I've said stolen but that's a bit different.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope! I'd prob be open to it but I'd deffo want credited as the OG author.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! I think it's been orphaned now though lol

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? I CAN'T CHOOSE THIS. But prob Shakarian.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I will finish all my WIPs, how dare you doubt me. (The Traveler would have been my choice for this but I FINISHED IT NOW MOTHERFUCKER)

16. What are your writing strengths? Words....go many. Big words. lmao honestly I don't ever really know. I think I'm good at characterization.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Brevity.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I do it sometimes, but usually make an author's note that it's done with shitty translation software so it will not be Authentic. (if I were putting it in a novel I'd prob pay to have someone look it over, but fic is free and thus my resources put into it are limited lol)

19. First fandom you wrote for? I'm gonna assume the AU crossover I wrote for Pokemon/Dragonriders of Pern/Zelda/Narnia when I was 9 does not count. lol it was Dragon Age tho

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written? My Mass Effect series, I think. I love different things about all my fics, usually because I was doing different things in all of them, but A Name for the Stars trilogy is something that I'm most proud of. Almost every scene in that serves a plot purpose and I wove a LOT of different things together to create one cohesive thing, and I think if you can get through all of it, it has the biggest bang for the buck. Also I burned that realllll slow XD

I will tag @jusbeinkt and @kesla and @literarypeachtea and @tinkeringteacup (do it if you feel like it, no pressure here frens lol)

[the-ocean-is-scary]

(IF YOU'RE SCROLLING THROUGH THE TAGS, SOME INFO IS INACCURATE AND HAS BEEN UPDATED. SEE REBLOG.)

Have y'all ever wondered: WHEN the HELL were Roshan and Tremaine WILDCARDS?

I think I got that figured out

And a few other things

TL;DR They were Wildcards in 2023, Tremaine left the Riders around 2024. This post has a lot of me rambling about character timeline shit and me attempting to do simple math in my head, lots of guesstimating. So if you're interested go right ahead

TW: Drugs

For about a month after reading Warcross, I thought that Roshan and Tremaine were wildcards previous year...buuuut it was definitely way longer than that

In Warcross Emika names off the previous three first pick Wildcards. This is all based on the assumption that the books 100% take place in 2027. So I'm gonna start there, the list goes as follows.

Emika Chen--2027

Ana Carolina Santos--2026

Penn Wachowski--2025

Kento Park--2024

If Roshan was also one of the first picks, he and Tremaine would have had to have been Wildcards in 2023 or earlier. I personally think that this year would have been 2023, because the amount of time in between makes so much more sense based on this. That feels so fucking weird to say I know but it really makes sense.

Also, my guess is that Warcross lasts from about mid/late January to late March. Warcross does canonically last only a few months, so that seems like a reasonable amount of time. And also with the weather...it just makes a lot of sense to me, but if you have anything to counter that then go right ahead! I'm happy to listen. :)

I'm gonna ramble about Tremaine now.

When he was talking to Emika, we all know that he said his drug addiction lasted about a year. That's waaay past how long Warcross season lasts. And yes, I'm calling it Warcross season now. So I feel like he would have started the whole thing near the end of his first Warcross season...but it continued throughout the year and into the next season.

So, if my math is right, Tremaine would have gotten upset, broken up with Roshan, and left the Riders, etc...in 2024. And according to my assumption of Warcross season months, I think he would have left sometime in February.

Based on all of this info, Roshan and Tremaine were broken up for at least three years.

And that's fucking sad.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

P.S. My personal headcanon is that they're around 22 or 23? This information fits that perfectly and I am proud of it

[like-the-rest-of-la]

Seven Sentence Sunday

Thank you for tagging me Amy @mellaithwen and Pia @buckactuallys 😁🌻💛 I actually had a bit of a writing weekend, so... here are definitely more than 7 sentences 😅

He’s almost out of the door, when-

“Hey, wait,” Buck calls from the back of the shop and starts jogging towards him. Eddie's too busy wondering how that much leg can fit into one body, that he blinks when a pamphlet is shoved in his face. 

“I host different courses, pretty much on the regular. On repotting, propagating plants or plant art and stuff like that.” 

“Plant art?”

“Yeah, you know, arranging them in little terrariums or plant containers. It's quite the hit with ladies from the senior living community down the street.” 

Eddie blinks again, "Not to be rude, but why are you showing me this?"

"Because I thought you might like to come to one of those?" Buck bites his lip.

“But… I’m really, really bad with plants. That wasn't a lie,” Eddie says. 

“Yeah, well-” Buck places the pamphlets gently in Eddie's box. "I, for example, was burning more food than I was eating, but I've recently started this cooking course, and I'm proud to say that my breakfast food is actually pretty decent now." 

He's rambling and Eddie can only keep looking at him, dumbfounded.

"My point is, everyone’s gotta start somewhere, right? And if you give yourself some time, I'm pretty sure you'll be able to keep at least one plant alive and thriving."

And after another beat- 

"Look," Buck says, "If I'm overstepping, just tell me and I'll shut up. But, I got the impression that you seemed a bit, I don't know, down about your self-proclaimed plant killer status and, honestly, I don't buy into that whole black thumb thing, because anything you're willing to, like, practice, you can do, so…"

At that, a startled laugh escapes Eddie's mouth, "Are you trying to Bob-Ross me?"

Now it's Buck's turn to look confused "Who's Bob Ross?"

I'm gonna tag @hattalove @kitkatpancakestack @eddiessluttytanktop and @nymika-arts if you want to ❤️❤️❤️

[klappert-art]

It's my 5 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳 --- Wow it's been 5 years since I tried to learn to draw properly and post them here 😅

Long rambling under the cut

Honestly it was pretty challenging for me because my study (when I started this blog) was pretty intense, also I live at home, commute every day to go to class so finding time & energy to draw is out of the window. I'm always amazed that most of my fav artists are real university students too, who probably have it even harder than me but they can draw a lot better... So why can't I??

The thing that I learned over time is, I improved faster when I draw fan arts. Because I have real and strict references to follow, unlike when I do OC where I usually just random bullshit go. That's why you see me posted fan arts more here. I just do my favorite fandom to motivate myself lol.

I am a picky person regarding fandom because mentally I can't handle so many heartbreaks (HAHA). And I need a fandom with diverse things to draw. Fate series is very perfect for me. I really like their ideas and the characters are just challenging. I've been into it since 2016-2017 and my pre-Fate art compared to today is... dkgeagwefgwk. I owe my skill growth to this fandom. My first post here was a Tomoe Gozen fan art 😂

I got into radar twice (which is still weird and unbelievable) because of a Noragami FA and my first A:TLA FA ever posted. Which was funny, because I don't draw them that much. But then again, my first "exposure" was from a random Taylor Swift ink art for a random inktober in 2019. That was so surreal lol.

Maybe you notice another fandom I draw a lot too, yes the game of all people in this world: Genshin Impact. Man, I started the game in release and thought "I have to make at least one fan art with the scenery of the game, and maybe this gonna be my first and last GI fan art." And look where we are now. I didn't expect this game would blow up, I believe the first FA I posted was one of the earliest Genshin post on tumblr 😂.I started doing GI FA also because I am mesmerized by the landscape and want to draw landscapes better. You see, there's this kind of reason in EVERY media I'm involving myself into. I simply like pretty and cool things. Sadly at some point the fandom is hell, so I like to take a step back sometimes.

Few months ago I also did some vtubers FA. Although mostly HoloID only, simply because I'm proud of them. Vtuber community has this unique relationship between Vtubers and derivative works, so you can feel real accomplishment when you showed your work to them.

Still, I still highly prefer to make real good original art and story someday. For now, I guess I have to grind first, because my current level is still not where I want to be yet to achieve that.

I use tumblr to post because I like the blogging and tagging system, however this site isn't popular in my country and my marketing for local cons isn't effective if I only use tumblr. I have IG, but I don't like it, thinking I should make twitter or something. AAaaA. My wish for now is to make many money with art lol (at least to supply my disposable income).

And some little things about myself, I'm working now, but not in creating art/design field. It's more of a history and research field (I do still interested in design... if I have the chance--yes I graduated from design thingy school). This blog is like... my creative outlet. The girl on my avatar is my OC Klappy, a gjinka of klappertaart. Klappertaart is the name of an Indonesian dessert (well, the name itself is dutch I guess) made from coconut topped with raisins. Dalr is an acronym from my real name. Thanks for reading, have a good day.

[unkn0wn-n0n4rt1st]

i think i've accidentaly lost my sanity for a brief moment y'know how I made the warsman icon that I fucked up? yea so I learnt from it and made not 1, not 2, but 7 goddamn kinnikuman pfps, again yeaaaaahhhhhhh I decided to make something with the promotional artwork and I made 7 icons from the devil choujin (my beloveds btw) ig i kinda did like these.........

buffaloman!!!! yayyyy, this was the first one I did and I kinda fucked up the lines in this one but i think I made a good job compared to the warsman one....

black hole!!!!! this one was a biiiit tricky because of the position he's in (I had to stretch the picture in order of the icon to look good...) but this one's the one i think i'm the most proud of how it looks:D

springman!!! he didn't suffer bh's problem though, this time it was positioned perfectly for an icon lol, actually, i also fucked up the lines with this one but I didn't commit the same mistake with the rest

atlantis!!!!!!!!! (ik these all look the same but I still kinda suck at making pfps please have patience.....)) from him is where I began having problems with how the characters were positioned, but I managed to find a way to make it look decent ig

the mountain!!!!!!!! i swear to you guys i was thinking of adding hello kitty things in this one, this is not a joke i genuinely thought of that..... didn't do it though:(( this one also made me think about probably making an account based around making kinnikuman icons...... that would be cool, as long as I have any manga panels or anime screenshots I could try to see how can I work with 'em.... i really wanna make something like that since my icons don't take too long to make but also i have ibis on pc so I only have an hour to make icons.... sadge:(

mister khamen!!!!! idk what to say he just looks fancy in an icon like that

and finally stecasse king!!!!! this time I really didn't have a good angle to make this one:(( but i do like how it looks so idrc too much aaaaaand those are all the icons i've made, i wanna keep making more but it's gonna take a long while because i can only make these in an hour, just one, lol too embarrassed to add tags so I will just leave this in my profile and wait until anyone finds them XD maybe i'll post them on pinterest too????? idkkkkkkkk i also wanna make icons for the six devil knights but maybe i'll do it later OOOKAAAAYYYY too much rambling, sorry, have a nice day:D

[abidethetempest]

Eliksni sentence #2 of Null Composure

wow! such progress! much conlang! anyway here's sentence two

English: It pulsed softly, checked and rechecked the permissions that summoned it, and then pushed a data spike solidly into the Vex domain.

Eliksni: Iidathem ir’lohtra aadekspriist, meyvikem taap seyr’meyvikem dreskibrik en kanen dulrakem, taap meydrem israankaviiyor ir’adryst ma’bev Veksehniin.

bonus: here's a behind-the-scenes into my VERY messy process with this sort of "middle step" where i put the sentence into Eliksni word order and mark up all the words so i know what will be a root word/affix/whatever.

Pulse-past simple gentle-adverb access point, check-past simple and two-check-past simple permission-plural RP 3sg summon-past simple, and push-past simple data-spear secure-adj inside Vex-realm.

notes below the cut so yall dont have to deal w a giant block of text (sorry! i'm not a very concise writer...)

stuff im proud of/want to highlight:

the construction for "data spike" literally meaning "machine-thought-spear"

the word for data isn't a direct compound of "machine" and "thought" bc that would be wayyy too long. i used a similar process as i do names where i mashed together individual syllables. i'm gonna try doing this more often, because i think over time really long compound nouns would just get squished down into a new noun

to say that an action is done again (in the way that the re- prefix does in English), you just prefix on "seyr" meaning two. (okay technically it's the counting word for two, not the plain numeral, but like shhhh i haven't even finished the numbers yet so never mind all that). if you wanted, you could just as easily use a higher number to really emphasize that you've done this action several times, tho anything higher than three comes across as very hyperbolic and usually is done in a joking tone.

the word for Vex is just Veks. no need to reinvent the wheel!

stuff that gave me a headache:

if you compare the sentences word-for-word you may notice i repeated the subject of the sentence "aadekspriist" at the beginning while the English sentences employs the pronoun "it". this is because in Eliksni, the subject of a sentence should not be a pronoun if there is ambiguity about what it is refering to. looking back at sentence 1, the last noun mentioned was "stone", not the access point. therefore, the subject of this sentence needed to be specified so a reader won't get confused about what "it" refers to.

the third person singular pronoun "kan" (here referring to the access point) is in the accusative form "kanen" in the relative clause to make it clear that is it the object of the verb "summoned". because the verb in relative clauses always goes to the end, word order couldn't be relied on to show what the pronoun was referring to

geez that was a lot, huh? if you made it this far, thanks for reading! i'd love to hear you folks' thoughts, ramblings, incoherent screaming into the void, whatever you got. all the tags on the last translation post i did really made me smile :D

new lexicon post will come soon-ish bc i have like twice as many words now! might just post a link to the spreadsheet if i can figure out how.....

Date: 7-31-23

[serenanymph]

writeblr positivity tag

tagged by the lovely @macabremoons! gently tagging @lyssa-ink, @reneesbooks, @scroll-of-aves, @space-writes, and anyone else who wants to hop in! this is gonna be a long one so I'm gonna leave it under the cut.

1. What motivates you to write?

All the lovely comments I get!! I honestly just love seeing how people react to my writing. Also just thinking about my characters in general. They're just a bunch of silly little guys <3 (they are unbelievably traumatized). And thinking about those specific few scenes I'll get to write later in the book too!!!

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

Uhh honestly I have mostly forgotten and all the good lines really only make sense with context, but I guess I am?? Mildly proud of this bit??

The air smells of sweet perfume. It’s a sharp, potent scent, thick and cloying, overly concentrated and enough for Beatriz to choke on. That’s the first thing she notices. The second things she notices is everything buried beneath it – dust, the faint, lingering tang of chemicals stinging her nose. Decay and rot. The air smells like death.

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

Wait is this your own OC or someone else's. Okay I can't really pick between my children BUT I do really love @reneesbooks Birdie!! Smol chaotic magic child, absolutely adorable. I want to give her all the pastries she could ever desire

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

On one hand, creating the first draft from scratch is really fun, but on the other, working on later drafts with the knowledge you're refining something and making it better is also so satisfying. Hrm. I'd say first draft wins but only by a small margin (because nothing in the latter stages will exist without it).

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Uh. I have no idea but apparently a lot of people have said I'm really good at descriptions?? So. Descriptions. I guess

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

Honestly I think everyone's answers are gonna be about the same but, y'know. It's the community. Everyone here is genuinely so friendly and talented, and all the games are really fun!!

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

I use microsoft word which is like. About all I use. Really boring ik but I'm used to it and for whatever reason I think it came with the laptop?? So yeah

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

I really like exploring the magic system!! Magic for Beasts is largely emotion-based, and can be affected by a variety of factors (everything from target to affinity to environmental conditions) so it's been really fun figuring it out, but still making sure it doesn't become overpowered or a deus ex machina. There's also magic for mages which is a lot more precise and restrained. You can kind of think of it as Beasts having powers while mages have spells.

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Honestly most people would probably say something along these lines as well - even though I don't know what's causing your rough patch exactly, the only way to solve this not-writing problem in the end is to write. If you write, you can make it better. If you write, someone out there is bound to find it and love it. So, y'know. Just write. It can only go up from here.

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

Okay so first off, @allianaavelinjackson (though she isn't really part of writeblr), for always putting up with my insane ramblings about the little people in my head, losing it when reading about the little people in my head, and just being a really great cheerleader. Love ya. Also @lyssa-ink for being one of my first mutuals and having really interesting story ideas!! And @reneesbooks for her continued support and just being a super talented writer (seriously, lacuna lives rent free in my head). Plus @squarebracket-trick, @e-klair and @space-writes for all the STS questions giving me a chance to yell about Beast at someone, and lastly tagging back @macabremoons for all her support!! I could really go on and on and on but then this post would never end but to all my mutuals!!! Know that I love and appreciate every single one of you and y'all are awesome people!!

BLANK QUESTIONS

1. What motivates you to write?

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

[duckwithablog]

The lurker anon reappears! Thank you for answering my questions, and I’d love to hear the backstory of your macaque theme!

Also, I forgot to label myself. Silly me. Mmm 🤔… perhaps peach🍑 anon if it’s free? Because- unrelated to the cute and cheeky monkey man- I really, really love peaches!

YOO hello again!! And yeah, 🍑 anon is free!! I haven't tried eating peaches but they look so aesthetic,, the only peach flavored thing i tried was a peach drink and i ordered it PURELY bcs of LMK HHAHSHSAH

time for some blog lore..... THIS IS GONNA BE KINDA LONG AND RAMBLY SO BE WARNED-

Before this account was made, I actually had a different tumblr account for personal use (I never log into it anymore though lol) instead of writing. I was in the LMK fandom at the time, so I was reading x reader fics EVERYWHERE I could, from wattpad to tumblr to ao3.

And wouldn't you know it, when I was scrolling through the tags on tumblr I saw someone promoting their newly written fic they made on ao3!! I read it, loved the premise, and left a kudos and a comment (I think I left a comment? I'm not sure, I was a lurker as well when it came to reading HSDHSD).

Not too long after, I was scrolling through their blog and saw a post of them asking for any possible writing friends to interact. I thought 'hey!! i can write!!' and promptly sent them a dm. We chatted over our brainrot of the stinky monkeys and we grew to be pretty close writing buddies!! I even got to come up with a ship name for a pairing in the fic (the pairing was Macaque and Y/n, and Y/n in the fic was a baker, so I proposed the ship name 'Mooncake'. Still super proud of that ngl!! I'm pretty sure I made one for Wukong and Y/n too, but I forgot what it was </33 Mooncake was just so iconic to me).

We bounced off ideas from each other, and I sent them posts about Wukong (they were a Wukong Apologist and honestly, slay), and one of them actually managed to influence their characterization for him in a later chapter!! I was even writing my own LMK x reader fic at the time, and while I gave up on it after a while, they were the first person to ever read the first few paragraphs and gave me their thoughts.

Eventually, I had an urge to make a whole blog dedicated to x reader writings because I was inspired by them to make one, and when I told them they told me to go for it!!

Here's where the important bit comes in: This person's blog was themed around Sun Wukong. They're a Monkey King lover, they fucking love that stupid smelly monkey man!! So I told them "hey wouldnt it be funny if my blog was Macaque themed so we could match?" and they went "DUDE"

And boom!! That's the reason why my blog is Macaque themed!! I went through a LOT of custom tumblr themes (you know where you open someones blog and instead of being the regular tumblr blog layout its a totally new one that they customized themselves? Yeah that was me), meanwhile my friend just stuck to a simple 'Wukong pfp + header and orange background'. I think that matched our character themes really well HAHSAHSAH

Unfortunately, I'm sure that my friend is not working/active anymore. Their last post on tumblr was them apologizing for the lack of updates because of art school, and that was it. I don't know how long it's been since I checked up on the fic, but when I did, I found that their ao3 account was orphaned. So it's probably safe to assume that theyre not coming back to their tumblr acc either.

But still... I kept my Macaque theme. Even when my LMK interest started to fade and other media took over my brain, I refused to change it. Idk why, sentimentality I guess? It just felt wrong.

I have no idea where they are now, honestly. I just hope theyre doing okay. They were a super cool person, and I loved their fic and I loved talking to them and I loved being their friend!! Even if they probably wont see this post, I just want them to know how much of an impact they had on me. It was because of them I made this account, and got into writing requests and fics. And even if that didn't work out, they got me back to writing in general! They were an awesome person and they deserve everything good in life!!

Augugh this got sentimental... My bad!! Ngl, I've been secretly waiting for someone to ask me why my blog was Macaque themed, but the chance of that happening was really slim so I held the Blog Lore™ in. BUT NOW I CAN FINALLY SAY WHAT IVE BEEN HOLDING IN FOR YEARS RAHHH

Thanks for asking this, btw 🍑 anon!! Sorry if this was so rambly and long, my mind do be like that (incomprehensible to decipher sometimes). I'd love to see you pop in some more, if youd like!!

Oh!! And since ur a Wukong lover as well, you should read their fic!! It's unfinished, but I think you should give it a shot. The chapters are long, the writing style and interactions between characters are great, and the development and pining is well done!!

I realize that this sounds biased, but ermm..... IDC GO READ THEIR FIC!!! (/nf) Kudos and comment bcs they deserve it!! Even if they dont get to see it, I'd like to at least cheer them up on the off chance that they do.

Here's the fic!! And their tumblr acc too, because they make some pretty banging drawings for their writing!!

@butternut-zippersqaush