#I'm not an expert in a lot of these things. I am just a talented amateur

[rainstormfrost]

Sometimes I think... What if Willow was not a canon character? What if she appeared only in some fanfic on AO3, how people would feel about her?

I mean, she has pattern of standard Mary Sue from some fan fiction. Lemme explain.

Firstly, she is strong. Even stronger than Emperor's Coven scouts, who've been, I'm reminding, harshly trained for years and have a lot of experience. But Willow just beats them like it's nothing for her.

Meanwhile, there is no clear reason for her to be so strong. All creator says is «she is talented and trains a lot», but... Willow has started training after the Grugby episode from season 1. That means she's been training only for two or one month. I'm not an expert but I think you can't get so much strength by that little time.

Well, okay, we can assume that Willow started doing Flyer Derby specifically after the Grugby episode. Maybe she was training even before that, but... It's still a shitty argument. I have some friends who've been training for many years and I can say they can't defeat a trained soldier. After all, a soldier knows special techniques and special fight skills. Scouts in EC can use any kind of magic, so they MUST learn every of nine tracks magic. So, how do you think, can a schoolgirl-plant-witch defeat a trained soldier with an experience.

Secondly, Hunter's character after meeting Willow. Hunter was positioned (before «Any sports in a storm») as a goofy, strong, confident person, but then we know him as a traumatized, apathetic and lost character who needs someone to help him to get out from toxic influence of his «uncle».

But what he's becomed after meeting Willow? He became a poor little boy who needs hugs and comfort 🥺🥺🥺. After joining the Hexsquad Hunter lost most of his power, he sometimes becomes a damsel in distress so Willow can save her little meow meow.

Please, separate a traumatize character who needs help and spirit mentor from a poor little thing who need comfort. Hunter is not the first thing. He is the second.

I know, this is kinda not Willow's problem as a character, but just imagine if all episodes after ASIAS were just a fanfic. How would you feel if a strong and mean character (Hunter) became a weakling who needs help from his girlboss?

Thirdly, cliche. I don't think Willow's story is bad, but I must admit it's kinda unoriginal. She has a standard Y/N storyline. «Poor girl was bullied, but then she discovered her true power and became stronger than her bullies». Where have we seen that? Well, practically in every fanfic.

What do we have in result?

Willow is somehow stronger that trained soldiers.

A strong and complex character became a total mess and crybaby because of interactions with her.

She has a quiet standard backstory.

I'm pretty sure: if Park was a fan character she would've been hated by everyone. We would've seen a lot of angry posts about little girls spoiling canon character's personality for their own fantasies.

But why the canon character with such traits is considered as something good?

UPD: It gets more sad for me, because I read fanfics and have my own TOH fan characters. I saw a lot of good, fleshed out and deep OC, but they was branded as Mary Sues because they was smart and powerful. Must specify, but all, these powers were explained, so characters wasn't skilled out of nowhere. I'm trying to make my own characters as realistic as I can. I paranoidly make a lot of flaws to my OCs so they can't become Sues. But then I see canon TOH characters and think: does it worth it? Why am I trying if I know that all of the canons are overpowered without any explanation?

[recoiloperated]

Where's the color for everyday I find out about a new thing that you're basically an expert in ?

I don't know. It's probably one of those shades of red I can't see....

[ofmdrecaps]

07/31/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Con O'Neill; Kristian Nairn: WJW; Ruibo Qian; Madeleine Sami; Guz Khan; TellTaleTV Voting Results; OFMD Dress Month; Fan Spotlight; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Today's Taika;

Hey crew, I'm several days behind so I'm gonna do things a bit different this time around-- I'm gonna split the last day of July up from Aug 1, and 2. Sorry I'm so delayed, been a lot going on at work and home. Hope everyone is staying healthy and safe out there.

== David Jenkins ==

Chaos Dad, David Jenkins seems to be keeping the OFMD memes shared! It's so nice to see him sharing so much art and fun in the fandom <3 This time around the art was from the incredibly talented @lumintsu!

Source: David's Twitter

== Rhys Darby ==

Reminder! Cryptid Factor is coming to London Aug 9th! Also what a sweet shot of Rhys on the plane over the ocean <3

Source: Rhys Darby's Instagram Stories

== Taika Waititi ==

More BTS Stills from Joblo's Article/Interview about Time Bandits!

Some sneaky pool Taika!

Source: VasJMorgan's Instagram Stories

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Etalk (@etalkctv)

Source: etalkctv Instagram

== Con O'Neill ==

New episode of Time Bandits is out and Con is on episode 3! Including some gifs below by @laceratedlamiaceae and @gydima to see some of the fun stuff he was up to!

== Kristian Nairn: WJW ==

July 31 was Wee John Wednesday! Where Kristian did a whole video on all the lovely gifts he's received over the years from fans! There are some absolutely adorable things in there! Apologies, normally I try to transcribe highlights, but I'm still catching up on all the things after this crazy work week, so here's some highlights from our friends over at @adoptourcrew!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kristian Nairn (@kristiannairn)

Source: Kristian Nairn's Instagram

== Ruibo Qian ==

Ruibo's getting ready for the opening night of Ms. Holmes & Ms. Watson! Unfortunately it looks like she got quite a bit of a bruise in prep!

Source: Ruibo's Instagram

== Madeleine Sami ==

Our dear Mads was out on @7daysnz a comedy news show in AoNZ!

Source: 7daysnz Instagram

== Guz Khan ==

Guz is out on U & Dave in the "Battle in the Box!"

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by U&Dave (@uanddave_)

Source: GuzKhan's Instagram

== Tell Tale TV Votes ==

Hey folks! Your hard work payed off! We managed to win the poll for most heartbreaking cancellation (as rough as that is). Sending so many hugs to the fans for Station 19, it's obvious yall have been missing the hell out of your show too. Here's hoping we'll both get to see our shows for another season!

Source: Tell Tale TV Twitter

== OFMD Dress Week ==

Another theme week is coming up September 9th-15th, this time hosted by our friend @libroseitm! You can follow OFMD Dress week on Twitter!

Source: OFMD Dress Week Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

More cast cards tonight from our resident cast expert-- @melvisik! First up is Jon A., and Dwayne G. These two are more of our magnificent action talents (according to ofmd-crew.com!) After them-- is Karla Spika, another one of our Casting Directors (NZ department)!

Source: @melvisik's Twitter

= OFMD Colouring Pages =

The fabulous @patchworkpiratebear is putting out some more great colouring pages-- this time illustrating one of @denizbevan's fics! There are lots of versions available, so please visit their tumblr for more!

Source: Patchwork Pirate Bear's Tumblr

== Love Notes ==

Okay lovelies, I had so much I wanted to say, but I am so behind as it is, so I'm gonna do another couple days of other folks love notes. Sending love and hug vibes your way.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Lauren Eliz Love | Your Self Healing Teacher (@laurenoflove)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Myndset Mastery™ (@myndsetmastery)

Source: LiveFreeLauraD Instagram

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Just these two doing some crazy stuff! Gifs courtesy of our fellow Rhys and Taika enthusiasts --@celluloidbroomcloset and @soundsofmyuniverse!

[itsaspectrumcomic]

On anon bc identifiable info - advice/thoughts? - This is really long, I'm sorry D: I'm a rambler and all the info is important (to me)

I've always had problems with stuff (according to my mom, "things have always been harder for [me] than everyone else") like I'm always the last one out the door, I lose things a lot (like hats and pencils and water bottles) because I set them down and don't realize, I have a lot of trouble doing textbook homework/notes bc I have trouble focusing

And I have a lot of trouble with social stuff, I never have a lot of friends, I can't keep friends for more than like four years, I feel really disconnected with people and people generally initially like me but like me significantly less after interacting with me a bit

I read a lot, and when I was a kid I would lose all sense of reality outside the book until someone touched me or I finished the book, but I've had a harder and harder time reading anything but fanfic as I've gotten older, and I have a lot of trouble reading very technical/instructions/nonfiction stuff

I have pretty bad insomnia, and spent ~2 years when I was 10-13 ish sleeping ~3-4 hrs/night weekdays and ~12 hrs/night weekends, I have a really hard time getting to sleep specifically - and (tmi maybe tw eating) I've had chronic minor eating issues and constipation (chronic minor dehydration, losing ~ 10 lbs over summers from not eating, etc. like I'm not dying or anything but this will probably eventually cause wear damage)

---

But I'm also a very good student, very smart, generally very good at what I choose to do, I just became a National Merit semifinalist, like, I'm doing "fine". I'm not dying, I'm not failing classes or anything, I've struggled since second semester year before last with getting things done, but I have like a 3.7 gpa rn (I could have a 4 if I tried harder (while I am capable of trying harder, it would destroy me))

I was in Gifted + Talented in elementary school, I'm an honors/ap student (my G+T teacher told my mom that the "gifted" basically means "neurodivergent")

---

I didn't get help for anything until last year, when I kinda fell off (as much as you can fall off while getting a 3.7 gpa ig) and got assessed for insomnia, which I got help with pretty easily (apart for waiting times) which was amazing. Almost went too well iykwim

And I was looking into why I was having such a hard time with everything (social, focus, sleep, schoolwork,etc) and I resonated a lot with autism and some of the feeling very disconnected from society/ other people but I was like eeeh, I'm a teen and idk I'm not, like, having it that bad, so I was looking into more quantitative solid stuff and I took the AQ + CAT-Q + stuff which still have very subjective questions but I tried to be honest and I got 32 (AQ) and 139 (CAT-Q) and 157 (RAADS-R) but like idk I could be biased or misunderstanding or idk

I mentioned feeling like I had more, underlying issues to the doctor I'm seeing for the insomnia and she was basically like "I work with autistic kids - you're not autistic" which like on one hand, you're the expert and I've only really interacted with the internet so idk but on the other, you've spent all of two hours with me, mostly asking me direct questions about my sleep or talking to my mother, like, ofc you haven't seen anything of me. Did I make too much fake eye contact with you?? (BTW if you dislike eye contact for any reason, which I always have, look at noses (my mother taught me this one) or hair (my personal fav) bc it looks like you're looking at the face, but you aren't!!)

this is getting very long winded, I'm sorry if you choose to read all this but thank you it means a lot to me to get someone who knows something's thoughts on this

So I was like "I am having other problems" and she was like "I suspect you may have inattentive type adhd" and I was initially like what?? but I'm not hyperactive. Can't have adhd. What. But I've been kinda thinking about it and lurking at the edge of adhd communities and googling stuff (google is not helpful) and maybe? idk

SO to get to my point/question

I'm very smart. (not tryna be conceited it's just I am) I'm not currently *dying* struggling, though I am having trouble staying on top of classwork

I'm a girl

I live in the USA

I'm pretty good at acting normal, I have a couple friends (one has diagnosed adhd, one has diagnosed autism, one I'm not sure, one I think? could be neurotypical? but she's also like really not idk) (I (only?) have four friends (which is a lot, for me))

I don't know if I'm "adhd enough" (or "autistic enough" if I was right initially) ((or both idk)) to get a diagnosis. I have hypermobility that causes issues with my joints and has led to me not exercising enough and having to quit violin but I'm not hypermobile "enough" to get a diagnosis or help for it (which sucks because it's literally affecting my quality of life, like, I could be an amazing musician if I didn't have this. D: )

If I try, will I get a diagnosis, or will I be "adhd, but not enough"? Should I continue to spend (my parent's insurance) money on this if it probably won't go anywhere? I'm currently 17, starting my senior year of high school. Will things get disrupted in transition to college? If I go abroad for college?

Also, will I crash and burn in college without my mother's considerable support? (tw eating again) I have always had a really hard time getting and preparing and eating food, and without her/structure idk how much I will eat. I loose weight over the summer bc we don't eat as a family much. when I'm on my own, will I struggle even more? Especially trying to juggle food and school and living independently? What about after college? My uncle was fine until he graduated college and now he's alone and a misogynist and mormon and lives with my grandma and seems kinda really miserable except way more hate-filled - am I doomed to the same path?

anyways this is really dark I'm sorry

specific questions for you are:

should I pursue ADHD diagnosis? Autism?

is there anything specific I should mention/not mention/think about?

is there anything you think I (+ people in similar situations) should research, any specific sites/books/communities you think would be valuable?

would therapy help with anything? social, focus, etc. (I have not had a chance, and I have been noncommittal at mentions bc. i strongly dislike people, and talking to people, and emotions ): )

are things in general going to get better, or worse? please be honest, not reassuring

If you decide to answer this, partially or completely, thank you, it means a lot to me to get someone else's thoughts on this, if not, I completely understand, either way, I hope you have a good day :)

Hello! A lot of what you wrote feels very familiar to my own experience - I was also considered a good student but found things increasingly difficult to cope with, struggled socially, lost and forgot stuff, couldn't focus etc. You're definitely not alone in feeling this way!

You are not doomed and you are not your uncle. Things can always get better, even when you're at your lowest. You never know what will happen next - you could make a friend, you could discover a new passion, you could be offered a cool opportunity, you could get the chance to pet a really friendly dog. Life isn't a straight line - you might be struggling for a bit, and then some nice stuff will happen, and then you might go through a rough patch again, but then things will improve again and you might feel better than you did before.

For eating when you go to college - identify the foods you generally find easy to make and eat and make sure you have a supply avaliable for when you're struggling. For me, that's pasta (you can get dry pasta which lasts ages in the cupboard, but you could also try fresh ravioli which has stuff inside like spinach or tomato or cheese so it's a bit more varied), crackers, bananas, and breakfast bars. That way if you can't make a proper meal, you at least eat something. Also try to carry a water bottle with you everywhere (if you struggle to drink water you could try flavoured water or juice.) If you forget about needing to eat you could set alarms to remind yourself.

Side note: did you know that hypermobility and autism very often occur together?

Onto your questions:

should I pursue ADHD diagnosis? Autism?

It's definitely worth looking into - I can't guarantee you'll get a diagnosis because it really depends on the person/people assessing you and some are more biased than others (if you're able to choose, look for people who say they specialise in diagnosing women and girls or have positive reviews from people in that demographic). Personally I found it helped a lot with getting accommodations, people understanding me, and understanding myself (even before the diagnosis was official). I will say it's usually quite a long process so be prepared for that.

Btw, you can definitely have ADHD without being hyperactive - that's the inattentive type which is more about trouble focusing.

is there anything specific I should mention/not mention/think about?

Honestly a lot of what you've written will probably come up in an assessment! I had to fill out a form with info about my experiences as a child and the traits I have now, as did my mum. If you're high masking (basically when you try to act 'normal' and hide your neurodivergent traits) do your best not to mask so the assessor gets to see you as you really are.

is there anything you think I (+ people in similar situations) should research, any specific sites/books/communities you think would be valuable?

Untypical by Pete Wharmby is an excellent book if you want to learn more about autistic experiences. The author is autistic himself and has an engaging writing style.

How to ADHD is a YouTube channel that focuses on coping techiques for ADHD and is informative as well.

I've found the autism communities on Reddit to be welcoming and supportive - you might like r/AutismInWomen which is inclusive and accepting of self diagnosis and those who are questioning.

You could also follow some of these people on instagram:

morgaanfoley - posts about her experiences as an autistic person

_ellawillis - posts about autism and ADHD and their daily life

candy.courn - posts about autism and disability as well as how that intersects with their experience as an asian person. Also has the most beautifully pink house

colourblind_zebra - makes cute and colourful art about chronic illness and neurodiversity

elliemidds - posts about autism and adhd and runs a community called We are Unmasked (weareumasked on insta)

itsemilykaty - posts about autism, mental health, and her book Girl Unmasked (which I haven't read yet but is supposed to be very good!)

Side note: I also have an instagram if you'd like to follow :) I'm itsaspectrumcomic there as well!

would therapy help with anything? social, focus, etc. (I have not had a chance, and I have been noncommittal at mentions bc. i strongly dislike people, and talking to people, and emotions ): )

Therapy can help a lot - with the right therapist! Look for people who specialise in neurodivergence, particularly in girls. The best ones are on the spectrum themselves :) It's OK if you don't click with the first one you try. You can 'shop around' until you find someone you're comfortable with (which I know can be exhausting but it's worth it when you find the right one).

are things in general going to get better, or worse? please be honest, not reassuring

Like I said before, things will get better, and then you might struggle for a while, and then things get better again. It comes in waves, at least for me. I know when you're having a hard time it can feel like it's going to last forever, but I promise it won't. There are always bright spots.

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

august 26, 2021 4:00 a.m. a balcony, somewhere

time somehow seems to simultaneously slow to a crawl and race beyond the speed of light. grant doesn’t remember when they’d ended up perched like lovebirds at the pinnacle of a staircase, peering out over the night-drenched landscape, but it must have been a while ago. customers have long since stopped streaming in and out of the restaurant on the street below.

he remembers in better detail the stream of their conversation–they’d shifted from food and a strangely peaceful, humorous discussion of kicking the bucket to movies, and at some point, paranormal stories came up along the way.

it’d be hard to forget talking to yunha.

there’s something curiously enrapturing about her, something that had drawn him to her when he first made eye-contact with her.

the look in her eyes, maybe. it’s piercing, like she’s baring right through your skin and into your soul, but not malicious or judgmental. it’s friendly, it’s curious, it’s playful.

the way she speaks, maybe. she’s the most engaged conversationalist he’s ever encountered. everything you say, whether she agrees or disagrees, is met with affirmations and a lot of nodding. yes, yes, of course. i see, i see. i understand. ohhh, wow! really?

she’s unraveling every shard of the puzzle that is his personality and piecing it back together in one whole picture, analyzing it. figuring it out. appreciating it.

or maybe it’s the sweetness that radiates off her. she appears unafraid to smile, instead all too happy to flash those pretty, crooked bunny teeth for the world to see.

“so, i'm going to guess you’re not accidentally good at singing.”

she seems not to mind revealing her own puzzle pieces either, and the more she says about herself, the more fascinated he is with her. with who she is. with what makes her tick.

“i hope it’s not an accident,” yunha replies, laughing, “because shit, then years worth of practice was a waste.”

“time enjoyed is never time wasted.”

the unabashed cringe of the line garners an immediate eye roll, but she still seems to find it funny.

they’ve definitely been sitting here a while. grant straightens his back, fixing his gradually slouching posture, and is is met with an immediate flash of pain, distinct from the chronic dull ache underlying every day of his life, that radiates down every vertebra.

“what got you into music, though?”

yunha’s rosy pink lips purse in thought as she dwells on the question.

“a lot of things. my parents like music. i listened to a lot of different kinds of songs my whole life, first with them, and then later with my friends. i had some time between classes and studying to spend having fun, but i couldn't spend any money, so my friends and i would go to this music store. we walked around and picked random albums to listen to on the headphones. we never bought anything.”

grant nods supportively. “what’s, like, the first album you remember really liking? or albums. you don’t have to pick one.”

“ah! i treasure so many albums. seo taiji and boys IV. i think that’s still my favorite nostalgic album ever. i also remember fondly, um, this girl’s in love with you by aretha franklin. i heard that at the music store, and i was so impressed by her talent. i still am.”

“i'm not a music expert. surprise! i know, i know, i'm sorry to tell you, i did not practice for centuries for that wonderful spice girls performance earlier. no, but seriously, i most often just listen to the same old emo stuff i liked when i was 13. so, unfortunately i don’t know the first album at all, at least not yet, but i do know the second one. you have fantastic taste, that’s a classic.”

despite his ignorance, yunha still smiles from ear to ear. “you should look up the first one! look up, like, seo taiji ‘come back home.’ that’s the most popular song on the album. i don’t wanna bias you, so listen on your own and make your own opinions.”

“wilco. and if you don’t mind me asking, how’d you turn the interest in music into a skill? you are talented, but i know it's very much a skill. it does take a lot of practice to become tangibly good at music.”

“to express myself,” yunha says plainly, “it’s easier to tell your story in art than talking about it, and singing is free. you don’t need supplies to learn it. but yes, i needed that kind of outlet, you know? i always liked singing, always did it, but i needed more than only entertainment from it over time.”

“oh yeah, art is helpful. i really should have gotten on that train earlier. i got on board about a year ago. it's much better for you than intellectualizing everything. or at least that's what i tend to do. do you perform, by the way? outside of karaoke, that is."

"sometimes. but also, not in a long time."

there falls a brief, but peaceful lull in the conversation. grant’s eyes draw to black night sky as he recalls the last haphazard art he’d created–the mushy-gushy attempt at processing the universe. seeing it hanging above him now, his thoughts are no less conflicting. light pollution washes out the shining sea of stars, but the sky still retains its beauty, its bewilderment. visible or not, an infinite chain of dimensions and celestial bodies exist in the vacuum of space, orbiting independent of him, yet factoring in the tiny fraction of his mass on the mass of the earth in their delicate ballerina dance across the fabric of spacetime.

the universe must have created me for some reason, for something other than anguish.

his own words. again. ever-present.

“i miss seeing the stars.” yunha’s buttery soft voice breaks his concentration. “you can’t see anything here.”

“polaris.” grant raises his left arm and draws his index finger across the sky until it hovers above the only star he’s seen thus far. “technically, that means we should be able to see sirius, too, but we don’t need to get all science-y and talk about magnitude and that polaris isn’t–”

“i would like it if you did.”

she was thinking of the stars, too.

synchronicity.

“aw shucks! well. i’ll say this, polaris isn’t the brightest star. we just talk about it way more frequently because it has the most cultural significance in the northern hemisphere for, you know, navigation reasons. but hey, give it about 12,000 more years, and it even won’t be the north star anymore. thank you, wobbly earth axis. but also boo, woobly earth axis, because it's a little sad to think about.”

yunha’s eyes glitter with fascination. “it’ll be something else?”

“yep! the next north star will be vega,” he explains, “come on down, you’re the next contestant!”

“maybe we’ll see it happen.”

“if my consciousness is still floating around as little dust particles, that’d be pretty sick. you know? forget fly me to the moon, fly me to vega. why not?”

“i don’t think i'll be dust,” yunha says, not missing a beat at all, even as her focus remains fixed on the faintest twinkle emanating from polaris, “it’s kind of troubling. you don’t want to be, like, stuck in the whole cycle of the universe, but if you’re still here, you can see some really beautiful things.”

“ah. reincarnation?”

“if you’re asking me, you’re not going to be dust. either you escape the suffering or you come back in some kind of physical form, human or not, and you try again.”

grant thinks about it for a moment. and then the feelings, like usual, spill out at once.

“i'm not going to lie, that idea has always given me the heebie-jeebies. i think it’s very cool as a concept, but i'm, like, man, i don’t want to do this shit again. also, look, we're doing the thing again. oh, and shit, that sounded judgmental. i just run my mouth too much."

"most people don't know they lived before. you can't really remember your other lives without a lot of study," she answers, "and no, you don't. i prefer to hear your real opinion. it's actually stupid when people tell you what they think you want to hear."

"do you ever wonder what you were up to last go-around?"

"not too much, but i always heard strange birthmarks and scars are signs from your last death. fears, too. things you avoid. so, i guess, like, a clown stabbed me in the neck with needles."

"are you afraid of storm drains, by any chance? if so, i think pennywise had it out for you."

"hahaha." yunha shakes her head. "wait, i have to ask. is it not worse thinking you can only live once? that's not uncomfortable? feeling like you have to make everything perfect in your one lifetime?"

"oh no, it's terrifying. dying and just being done with everything is eerie, too, because there are nice things to do and see here in the real world. you’re right about that. and yeah, there is a lot of pressure to get it all right. also, that's not even mentioning that there are people i love that i don’t want to be gone forever. i'd like to think they remain somehow. conscious or not. i kind of think they do, but i don’t know. am i contradicting myself? capital-P probably."

“you don’t know what to think.”

grant immediately bursts out laughing. “yeah, no, absolutely not. i do not know. i just kinda waffle around and hope some scientist throws out some numbers and whatnot that proves some explanation of everything correct. but that’s impossible. it’s literally impossible. we can’t even simulate or predict the wacky physics that were going on at the exact moment the big bang happened.”

“not to be, like, all quirky, but...” yunha reaches over, patting him on the shoulder. “maybe don’t think about it? you’re gonna go crazy. you can just not know? and it's fine. this doesn’t mean anything anyway. the answer to anything is already in you, it’s not out there.”

and then she, too, starts giggling all over again and her cheeks blush deep red from sheepish cringe.

another stereotypical line, but he doesn't mind. they sound better coming from her than him anyhow.

a second later and she checks the time on her phone. her cheesy smile erodes into a slight frown.

“ahh, i really need to leave soon. i have a schedule in the morning.”

grant checks the time as well, drawing the sleeve of his hoodie up just enough to read the minuscule roman numerals on his watch.

on the watch an ex-girlfriend gifted him. not päivi, but...

4:00 a.m.

fuck.

right.

you’re leaving the country in two hours.

[canadachildvol2]

Wish rewrite ✨ pt.1

Everyone and their grandma has done a rewrite of "Wish," but I couldn't help myself. I've seen the concept art and have watched an array of video essays dissecting what went wrong with the final product and my imagination went wild (as it often does with movies that had so much potential yet failed to deliver).

Full disclosure: I'm not a songwriter nor am I an expert on music theory, so when it comes to the songs in this rewrite, I'm just gonna give a general idea of what they're about and what happens.

With that out of the way, let's get into part 1 of my own "Wish" rewrite! And I'm in no way proclaiming this to be the superior version; I'm just sharing what I came up with like a lot of you have. I've also included a visual of my Asha redesign, which I hope you like. <3

(Also tagging @annymation :) )

-

First and foremost, I'm torn between this version either being completely 2D-animated or just Star (specifically in his normal magical form) and his magic being the only things 2D-animated. You can envision it however you like.

Book prologue: Like the movie, this opens with a storybook. However, it's in live-action. A narrator (perhaps a Disney Legend, like Mary Costa, Kathryn Beaumont, etc.) tells the backstory of how Rosas became a literal magical place:

“Once upon a time, there was a small island kingdom called Rosas. Surrounded by crystal waters and nestled beneath an endless sky. One day, the king gathered his subjects to make an important announcement: through magic, he had found a way to grant wishes! And since then, the people looked to their magnificent king to make their deepest desires come true.

This magic was passed down to the royals that followed, and in this time, the people continued their undying devotion to their extraordinary leaders.

Over the years, boats came from far and wide, carrying those who wanted to see this magic up close, as well as those who sought to live in Rosas. And our story begins with the docking of one of these boats…”

Introduction to Asha/Rosas; “Welcome to Rosas”: A group of newcomers excitedly wait to enter Rosas and this is where we meet Asha. "One... two... three," she mumbles - as if preparing for a performance - before stepping out in front of the group. Bubbly and all smiles, she introduces herself as their tour guide and ushers them into the kingdom. This version of “Welcome to Rosas” not only explains the rules of the kingdom regarding wishes (giving wishes at age 18 [it's mandatory], how the wishing ceremony plays out, only one wish is granted each month due to the large amount of magic needed, etc.) but it also highlights how hardworking and dutiful the citizens are. Additionally, it mentions that Rosas was once a land in disarray, but the magic of wish-granting led them to prosperity. While there’s an upbeat tone to the song, there is an almost sinister undertone that’s lost on the newcomers (and to us, the audience, if we don’t pay too much attention). I should quickly point out that people don't forget their wishes after giving them to Magnifico like they do in the movie. They just no longer have the motivation to pursue their wishes themselves.

Design note: Asha is the only person in Rosas wearing orange, thereby making her stand out from the largely blue, purple, and grey colour palette (much like how Belle is the only person in her village wearing blue). click the image to see more outfit details

Meeting Dahlia and other townspeople: After Asha leaves the group to let them enjoy the sights, her bubbly persona immediately disappears and her true nature is revealed. Levelheaded, composed, a touch cynical. A realist. This personality is shown as she interacts with some of the townsfolk (moreover, this scene alludes to what some of them have wished for). She takes a bag of fruit to Dahlia, her best friend and a talented baker. She’s cheerful, idealistic, and tends to stumble over her words when excited or stressed (a nod to Doc from “Snow White” along with her character design). Like the rest of Rosas, she thinks highly of the king and queen. In exchange for the fruit, Dahlia presents Asha with a birthday cake for her grandfather. This scene showcases Dahlia’s desire to become the castle baker someday and that she thinks her work needs to be perfect to get that position (even though her work is already amazing). We are also introduced to Simon, who comes by to pick up an order for delivery. He’s a few years older than Asha and Dahlia and is already showing the same level of exhaustion as most of the other adults. He wants his wish granted so badly that he’s willing to work hard and impress the king and queen no matter what. He's secretive about what his wish is.

"Welcome to Rosas (reprise)": As Asha walks home with the cake in a box, she looks at the citizens around her. This time, we’re seeing life in Rosas through her eyes rather than those of the awestruck newcomers. “Welcome to Rosas (reprise)” brings to the forefront how exhausting, unfair, and almost cult-like (i.e. the people’s intense adoration of the king and queen) everything is, while also insinuating the crux of Asha’s personal journey: she doesn’t have hope.

Meeting Sakina and Sabino: Asha arrives home to find Sabino asleep in a chair by the window. She smiles at him; a big, loving smile. Up until now, her smiles have either been small, fake (for her job), or just smirks. She gently wakes him up and he tells her he was dreaming about one of his artworks coming to life. “In a few hours, it may actually happen,” he says with a hopeful grin. She bites her tongue so as not to bring his cheerful mood down with a "Let's be realistic" comment. Soon after, Sakina enters the house carrying a basket of fresh fruit and looking tired. Asha takes the basket from her, fussing over how exhausted she looks. ("Mama, you shouldn't be doing all this work by yourself!") Sakina says that she’s fine, but Asha’s worries aren’t placated. Eventually, the trio sit down to enjoy the cake. Sakina laments the absence of Asha’s father, which prompts Asha to fiddle with her silver bracelet.

Wishing ceremony: We finally see King Magnifico and Queen Amaya in all their glory. They are regal, stunning, and tower over the people of Rosas in more ways than one. Still, when 18-year-olds and new residents approach the king on stage to give their wishes to him, he presents himself as an affable man. The cultish vibes that have so far been subtle are made much more apparent in this scene, complete with chanting, cheering, and bowing in a way that demonstrates complete submission. Sabino and Sakina wait with bated breath to see whose wish will be granted, while Asha remains less optimistic. She holds her grandfather’s hand reassuringly when the announcement is made. It’s not him. While not nearly as surprised or devastated as Sabino is, his disappointed reaction still breaks Asha’s heart. So much so that it encourages her to do something drastic.

Asha learns the truth: Sakina and Sabino head home while Asha makes her way to the castle entrance. She overhears the guards tell other people that the king and queen aren’t seeing anyone right now and reinforcing a specific rule: “commoners aren’t allowed in the palace.” Not to be deterred, Asha finds another way in. She’s distracted from her objective of ambushing the king and queen by the sight of the castle’s interior. It’s beautiful; unlike anything she’s ever seen. It's as if it were made of crystals, like the waters surrounding their island. Reflective surfaces are adorned on almost every section of the walls. Curiousity gets the better of her and she ascends the staircase to the highest room in the building. After brief hesitation, she enters and finds that it’s the room that houses the wishes (the general look of this room is about the same as how it is in the movie). Her wonderment is interrupted by the sound of Magnifico and Amaya outside. Thinking quickly, she hides in the balcony running along the upper part of the room. It’s here that she witnesses something horrifying: Magnifico taking a couple of the wishes in his hands and crushing them. This is how he gets his powers. He and Amaya laugh at how these people will be waiting forever for their wishes to be granted. ("They will work themselves to death, never knowing that their wishes, their dreams, will never come true.") Furthermore, Asha learns that Magnifico is already very powerful and doesn't need a whole month to garner enough energy to grant a single wish. After the couple leave, Asha sneaks back out.

Warning Sakina and Sabino: Asha rushes home and tells Sakina and Sabino about what she saw. Obviously they don’t believe her and an argument ensues. They can’t understand why she’d speak ill of the king and queen, and she’s trying so hard to plead her case. At one point, she accidentally hurts Sabino’s feelings by saying that realistically speaking, the odds of his wish being granted are slim to none. She feels awful about what she said and she tries one last time to convince them. Sakina gently but firmly tells her to stop and “When you’re older, you’ll understand.” Asha is left stunned and alone as Sakina tends to a tired and upset Sabino. Overwhelmed, she leaves the house and runs into the woods. She's trying so hard not to break down.

“This Wish”: This version of the song, much like in the movie, sees Asha wish for a way to help Rosas. However, it also conveys her internal struggle of letting herself feel some semblance of hope for the first time in a long time. She initially pulls back and scoffs at the idea of wishing on a star or even believing that things in Rosas will change, but as the song goes on, she caves into what her heart is telling her as opposed to what her head is telling her. It’s worth noting that each time she considers wishing on a star, it’s instigated by her looking at her bracelet. Akin to “Part of Your World,” after so much build-up, the song ends on a soft but powerful note where Asha finally wishes on a star (she still has serious doubts, but there's a sliver of cautious optimism shining through).

pt.2 / pt.3 / pt.4 / pt.5

[9leaguesofmirrors]

My Favourite Reece Shearsmith Characters

So it's Reece Shearsmith's birthday today, so I decided to celebrate this by sharing some of my favourite characters played by this fantastically talented actor

These are in no particular order

Gregory Brewster - Him Indoors

Him Indoors is a short film about a serial killer with agoraphobia. Not only is the premise very interesting, Reece delivers a chilling yet very entertaining performance as the main character. It's on YouTube if you want to watch it, which I highly reccomend you do!

Tommy - Bernie Clifton's Dressing Room

This HAD to be on the list! Reece's performance as Tommy is heartbreaking, we watch a man seems to put-together and serious slowly fall apart and lose control of his calm façade - impeccable work

Sean Stone - Chasing Shadows

Admittedly, I don't know where the watch the full show, but I have seen clips and I knew I had to put it on this list because of Reece's portrayal of an autistic person. You can tell he put a lot of thought and research into it in order to give a realistic performance, which is a testament to his dedication and how much he truly cares about the roles he plays and who he's representing

Tyler - Riddle Of The Sphinx SPOILERS BELOW

If there's one thing Reece is good at, it's how to play a chilling villain. Everything about Tyler is unnerving and he manages to be terrifying without being loud or angry all the time. It's measured and the emotion builds and builds - fantastic work!

Joseph Lisgoe - The League Of Gentlemen

I've mentioned before that the debt collectors were underused, and I simply had to talk about how extraordinary Reece's performance as Lisgoe was. He completely dives into the roles he plays and this one was no exception, not even a light smashing on his closest friend stops him from carrying on a scene (just check out the outtakes!), he simply embodies the part and delivers a performance that terrifies the cast, crew and the audience

Laurence - Merrily Merrily SPOILERS BELOW

Merrily Merrily is an Inside No. 9 episode that I can never rewatched because of how empty it made me feel - and I mean that in the best way possible! Laurence is wracked with pain over the loss of his late partner, and Reece delivers such a subtle yet haunting performance that I don't think I'll ever stop thinking about it

Ross Gaines - The League of Gentlemen

Ross is such a fun character because of how manipulative, calculating and cold he is. Not only does it set him apart from the other inhabitants of Royston Vasey, it makes his scenes with Pauline all the more tense and entertaining - and Reece really does deliver in the role. I'm glad they decided to go with this casting choice

Aiden - Thinking Out Loud

Like with Laurence, Reece delivers a hauntingly stellar performance. What makes this one really special is that it's a monologue. There's nobody for him to bounce off of or react to, he has to reach those emotions himself. And, as always, he nails it

Ollie Plimsolls - The League Of Gentlemen

I've said before that I think Ollie is one of the most cleverly written League characters and I stand by that. As a representation of the Saviour Complex and self-righteousness of people in theatre, Ollie is a character that should be easy to hate... but because of Reece's expert comedic timing and delivery, he ends up being so funny that you can't help but laugh every time he's onscreen

SPECIAL MENTION: Gilbert - Betty Blue Eyes

Reece Shearsmith said in an interview that he wasn't a great singer. Reece Shearsmith is a liar. Don't believe me? Listen to The Kind Of Man I Am from Betty Blue Eyes and thank me later

Also, if you can find it, there's a short bootleg of him in The Producers which is good too!

Of course, this are just a few of his performances and he's never delivered a bad one - whether he's playing a comedic character like Archie in The Bill or a more serious one like in Borley Rectory. And we haven't even touched on his writing skills, I can't wait to see what he does next!

[pardonmydelays]

Hi so i only recently got into hamilton and really liked lmm in it but ive been seeing a lot of pjo fans talking about not wanting him as hermes and you are a lmm expert so i wondered if you knew why people are hating on him for being casted in pjo?

first of all, i am actually flattered that you called me an expert (i am literally not but i do know a lot, i observe, i go through lmm tag every day, i get mad when i see people talk shit about him, basically i'm super loud about my love for this guy so there's that some call it dedication, i call it obsession lol).

there are a lot of reasons actually but all of them are just so silly to me. for example, some people say he is a bad actor (if hamilton is not enough for you, please go watch his dark materials, he is excellent and i will fight). others say he can't sing (he can, he may not have the most incredible vocals ever, not like most broadway stars and i know a lot of people compare him with the best singers out there, but it doesn't mean he can't sing, also, he is much better now than he used to be years ago, for example i'd recommend listening to vivo soundtrack, especially keep the beat or one more song, i mean EXCUSE ME BUT MY MAN CAN SING). another reason: some people say he is annoying because he puts raps everywhere. ok, and? he is a great rapper, i'll say more: he is also a freestyle rapper, very talented indeed (i recommend checking literally any freestyle love supreme video on youtube or you can just go through my fls tag here. making up rhymes on the spot? pretty insane if you ask me). there is also a group of people who think he is cringe, his rhymes are cringe, some of his songs are not good, etc etc (i bet those people can write better songs). i think he is one of the greatest composers of our generation and i will, of course, fight (haters, please shut the fuck up about the scuttlebutt, this song was supposed to be annoying, you just don't get it apparently? same with my own drum actually. can we just stop pretending that he is talentless because of those songs you guys literally have no taste and you hate fun and also shut tf up). oh, and also, people these days very often say he is everywhere and it's annoying (this is literally his job but whatever). and my all-time favourite: some people are mad that he was playing hamilton because they think he didn't deserve it (he literally wrote the whole thing but ok). one more thing: i have never read pjo, i literally just started reading it only because of lin, so i know nothing about hermes, but personally i really hope he will sing/rap, just because i want to see them all suffer.

there were also other controversial stuff (with in the heights, hamilton and puerto rico) but we are not going to discuss it on my blog, sorry (mostly because i have my own opinion about it and i know i will get a lot of hate for speaking my mind). one thing i can say is that nobody's perfect, we all make mistakes sometimes and i will always fight for him, no matter what.

[yuseirra]

Yoo, I just came across your comics and they're so cute and wonderful. Do you post any fanfics elsewhere, or is all your stuff on tumblr? I would love to read any hikaru/ai fics you might have, or any recs if you have any. Tbh it doesn't even have to be hikaru/ai, I've developed terminal hoshino ai-themed brainrot and am just chewing through any fics where she's happy.

Hello!! "cute" and "wonderful"?/// they're both really great words!! I'm so happy you describe my works with those lovely adjectives. Ahah I actually thought they were a lil serious and depressing hehe (because the manga tackles DARK STUFF! I feel pretty glum as I draw these characters out sometimes, so I try to be more cheerful about it.)

but in the end, I feel I really specialize in fluff, I think? I enjoy drawing characters who are very caring toward each other, it never gets old for me, so I always try to think of some warm.. and soft situations when they have a sense of understanding.

I'm happy people find them cute ;v;).. I love cute too! I want "cute" embedded in my pieces..

Oh, I've never tried writing fanfic at all, and I don't read so much of it either! I wish I could introduce some works for you, but there's not much that I know of, either. I'm sorry for being unable to help you so much, but I'd love to draw more of the ship (until the manga tells me I can't by throwing contradictory stuff which I HOPE NOT ;v;)

If you haven't talked to them already, I feel aihoshiino may have an idea on ai fics you wish to find because they're the Ai expert! They have great insight about the character and I would certainly ask of their opinion if I wanted to learn more about her in depth! (Yes I want Ai to be happy too...she's a character worth developing a brainrot over for sure. the IDOL MV is what's drew me into the series and the first volume of this series was so intense and strong...)

All of my stuff's on tumblr! You won't be missing out on anything if you're here 'v')9

I have backed up some of my onk works in bulk on my pixiv account, but everything that's there is here too~ If you want to check them out more easily, you can read them from there too! My most recent works aren't updated there yet, and I'll probably make another set as it piles up.

It never occurred to me that I CAN write fanfics, so this ask was very surprising XD Fanfic writers are amazing.. I look up to them a lot, that stuff takes dedication and another sort of talent. Thanks for the ask and for believing I can! See you again, I'll think of more things to draw over the weekend~

[enlitment]

asking you your top-5 anything: ok this might not come in list form, but what 5 things do you like the most about Catullus?

Hi, first of all thanks so much for the interesting ask and so sorry for taking forever to answer it!

(obligatory am not a classicist, just an enthusiast. I also sadly can't really speak Latin, so take anything I say here with a grain of salt)

1. The sheer variety of his poems

Are you looking for a poem describing a fun playful banter between friends? A tender love poem? A poem about stolen napkins? An epic poem inspired by Greek mythology that is so beautiful and haunting that it shakes you to your core?

Or perhaps a poem so obscene that it wasn't allowed to be published in most of the English anthologies until relatively recently?

No matter your taste or mood, Catullus has got you covered!

2. There's a feminine aspect to his poetry

The understanding of gender and sexuality in Ancient Rome is hands down one of my favourite subjects, and Catullus' poems give you a great insight into them if you read between the lines.

You could for instance read C 16 as an inherent testimony to the fragility of Roman masculinity (seeing it as an attempt to re-establish his masculinity after he's been criticised for writing 'unmanly' love poems).

But what I especially appreciate is his ability to take on the female perspective. There's the fact that he was a big fan of Sappho's poetry (as evidenced by him calling his partner 'Lesbia' and by his (beautiful!) reimagination of one of her most famous poems) or the fact that he was able to draw parallels between his and Ariadne's pain stemming from feeling betrayed by a former lover.

(I'm also kind of here for the interpretation of Lesbia's sparrow poem as an example of some kind of Pseudo-Freudian clit-neid...)

3. His brutal honesty/ him just wearing his heart on his sleeve in his writing

It just seems he had no filter whatsoever, so reading his poems is this incredibly raw, often times bizarre experience.

But to me, it demonstrates that even though our society has obviously changed quite a lot over the 2000 years that separate us from him, a lot of things that remained the same - the petty jealousies, ambivalent feelings after a breakup, but also the pure joy one feels after spending time with their friends and loved ones

4. His use of language and imagery

More evidence in my previous post. It just sounds so beautiful at times? Plus it often alludes to Greek/Roman mythology in really interesting ways. I'm sure reading the original would make it sound even better, but I'm personally a sucker for the Czech translation as well.

5. He was ahead of his time! (You could say he was a romantic poet almost 2000 years before it was cool...)

Again, by no means an expert of this, but I think you could definitely say he paved the way for some of the latter great Latin poets, like Ovid,

Some aspects of his poems to Lesbia also remind me of the courtly love poetry from the middle ages: the poet's desperate pining after a lady of a higher class - which Clodia, as a patrician woman married to a consul, undoubtedly was. There's of course the important difference that she has been... previously attained, to speak in the annoyingly gendered language of medieval poetry - but alas, no more Catullus!

But to me, he was most of all a forerunner to the romantic poets like Byron or Shelley! The talent, the scandals, the rejection of societal norms (like the fact that he didn't really seem to be too interested in a career in politics or the military which were essentially the two things a respectable Roman man was supposed to take interest in), as well as the homoeroticism of it all (in his case indisputable, re: his poems to Iuventius)...

Hope that covers it! Thanks again for the ask and giving me a chance to rant!

[mildmayfoxe]

please can i pick your musical brain 👀 i'm losing it over the cover of 'bridge over troubled water' by jake collier/yebba/tom legend/tori kelly rn and i wondered if you knew any songs/groups/artists that are similar? i was trying to figure out what it is and was like. secular choral a cappella??? but uhhh not having a lot of luck finding things in the same vein and you came to mind as someone with musical knowledge!

ok HELLO my friend i'm sorry to have kept you waiting so long!! for those interested this is the jacob collier troubled water arrangement which similarly truly blew me away; it's an absolutely stunning piece of vocal arrangement and show of vocal talent that without exaggeration brought me to tears the second and third time i listened to it. a really spectacular arranger and musician- he's won five grammies, one of which for his lionel richie all night long arrangement which is also a lot of fun but a different vibe.

unfortunately i don't have a lot of suggestions for you! the obvious place (to me) to head is just straight to gospel choir. that's where you're going to find the most similar sweeping vocal harmonies like this, especially if you find some big groups. when i was looking around for similar pieces i found the civilization iv theme baba yetu composed by christopher tin & featuring the soweto gospel choir (which is a group i am definitely going to be listening to more of later). christopher tin also composed waloyo yamoni which also just blew me away- i cried!! soweto gospel choir is also in an arrangement of that on spotify, but the youtube link is for a live performance with a different choir- although the male soloist was really spectacular.

otherwise i feel like you could almost just start listening to OPERA if you wanted! you can also find a lot of really fun harmonizations in bluegrass and country music, though nowhere on the scale of big choral arrangements. here's flowers on the wall by the statler brothers for a country example which i enjoy, and here's nobody knows by pastor tl barrett & the youth for christ choir for a gospel song i've enjoyed recently too. since i deviated into more instrumental-heavy stuff with the christopher tin compositions just for fun here's october by eric whitacre which is just an intermediate concert band piece but it's my personal favorite i've ever played because the beauty of it all layered together is unreal. pick out the trumpet lines in there and imagine me playing that. GREAT piece imo. real sweeping triumph and melancholic wistfulness.

LASTLY here's the wikipedia pages for grammies for best arrangement, instrument and vocals and best arrangement, instrumental and a cappella which probably have lots of other interesting things to check out, both in winners and nominees! jacob collier's on both lists.

if anybody has another other suggestions please let me know!! i'm not an expert by any means and honestly my musical knowledge is only mediocre, so would be happy to hear what other people have to suggest :)

[airenyah]

15 people, 15 questions

I was tagged by @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas <333

Are you named after anyone?

no. there's a video game character with my name and occasionally people will bring this character up and ask if i was named after her but no, i wasn't. my parents don't play videogames

2. When was the last time you cried?

i honestly don't remember, i don't actually cry all that much. (so if you see me say things like "i'm crying" in the tags then i'm actually only crying in my heart, i'm not shedding any actually tears dfkfkjdf)

last time i cried was either bc i was really angry or really extremely overwhelmed with life during a period where i hadn't slept much or was on my period or so. orrr what is actually even more likely is that the last time i cried was when i cried from laughter while being with friends. i cry from laughter a lot, actually

3. Do you have kids?

nope. i think i could be a good mother if i had to, but ngl, motherhood and parenting doesn't sound very appealing to me. i am planning on becoming an aunt tho. i'll let my brother provide the grandkids and i'll just borrow them occasionally, spoil them, and then i can always give them back when they get too exhausting or annoying 😂

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

i play baseball for fun once a year with old summer camp friends. other than that i'm not very athletic. in elementary school i used to go to schwimmkurse (swimming courses) which was super fun and it's one of the few sports that i'd consider taking up again if i were to do any. i've always liked swimming (but only in places where i can see the ground and where the water isn't too cold. i feel really uneasy when i can't see the ground and i also freeze easily so i'm not a fan of cold water)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

sarcasm? me? neeeeever, not at all 🤭

(^^^this answer is sarcastic, the genuine answer is yes. yes, i do. <- for those struggling to understand sarcasm, esp in written form <3)

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

uhhhhh good question, i don't actually know???? maybe their face, idk

7. What's your eye colour?

blue-gray ish. and i have a yellow/green circle around each pupil. i actually really like my eyes, they're my fave part of my appearance 🥰

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings for sure!! i could never get into scary movies, idk

9. Any talents?

languages, i guess. at least i'm known as the language genius in my family and my friend groups. but to be honest, there's still a lot about language that i don't know and i don't feel like i'm all that great (esp when my language learning progress feels slower than the one of others. which is totally fine by me bc everyone should go at their own pace, but i just don't like it when people call me a language genius bc i feel like in reality i'm not really living up to that. i just happen to know a little bit more about language than those around me, but compared with actual experts? yeah no, i in no way compare...)

but yeah out of all the skills that i have, languages is one my best ones. and i'm also really good at organizing (aka keeping a million lists and making sure all the props are at the right spots and with the right actors and there's enough spares of everything etc lol)

10. Where were you born?

austria 🇦🇹🇦🇹🇦🇹

(NOT the place with kangaroos just so we're clear dkjgkdjf)

11. What are your hobbies?

(internally) crying over fictional characters, then blorbo-posting about it. sometimes i'll also subject irl-people to my blorbo rants (mainly my mother and some of my friends)

i also take violin lessons and thai classes for fun

12. Do you have any pets?

technically no, but really yes. my mom and my brother share a dog and my parents also have two kitties. i go home a lot bc i don't really like staying in my own flat in the city where i study so they do feel like my own pets as well, esp the kitties <333

^this is nika (the dog) and coco (boy cat). they're besties <3

^this is minou (girl cat). she's the youngest and the smallest of them all, so we nicknamed her "die kleine" (the small one (f))

13. How tall are you?

155 cm

14. What was your favourite subject in school?

german, it was the easiest for me

fun fact: the only subject in school that i ever got a frühwarnung in was english lmao. ("frühwarnung" = early warning and it's what you get when you're about to get an f in your report card for a subject. i got an f in english in my report card for semester break, so i had the whole summer semester to get my grade up to a d)

15. What is your dream job?

director!!!! in theater or film, idk, but i just really wanna be a director. and maybe take some minor acting roles on the side, idk. for now i still feel too shy to do any professional acting, despite having gotten acting training for 3 years djkkdjfg

i'm really looking forward to next summer, bc i get to be assistant director at this one theater that i've worked at as an intern for the past two summers. the assistant directors that i've worked with so far at this theater have both sucked and both times i ended up more or less taking on the job myself anyway (to the point where they even paid me for my work despite my position usually being an unpaid one) and so this summer i was like "uhhh guys so what if for next summer's production i just work as an assitant director right away instead of an intern?" and they were like "omg you're hired" 😂

tagging following 15 people:

feel free to ignore if you don't want to do it or tag me in/send me yours if you've already done it, i'd like to read it <3

@newyearknwwme @moonkhao @visualtaehyun @lurkingteapot @callipigio @waitmyturtles @sunnenfinster @cornflowershade @celestial-sapphicss @killiru @gaym3bo1 @nongnaos @dimplesandfierceeyes @gillianthecat @ranchthoughts

bonus: @telomeke i know you've already been tagged, so this is just to ask you to tag me when you've thought of all your answers, i wanna read yours too 👀

[purgemarchlockdown]

How Purge March Treats it's Fiction

(CWs: Child Abuse, Cults)

(Edit: Added a few details I forgot to include and expanded on a topic.) So I've talked a lot about the TV show that is Magic over here, and while I don't have as much to say about the fictional nature of Purge March compared to Magic, the way Purge March treats its fiction in Contrast to Magic's is really interesting so I would like to touch on it.

(Note: I am Not at all an expert in Dissociation or the Disorders relating to it. I try my best to research but I think it's important to mention since this post goes a bit more in-depth into it than my usual.)

Awareness

So, Magic as an MV is pretty aware overall of the fictional nature of its world. While Fiction and Reality blur together and bleed into each other in Magic, there is an acknowledgement of the Fiction in it. It's Depicted as a Show after all, we see Amane watching it. There's a sense of Awareness in Magic that these events aren't Reality.

The reason why I'm pointing this out is because Unlike Magic, Purge March does not really delineate between the two. Ironic since Purge March does spend a good portion of time in the real world.

However Purge March treats it's Fiction As a Reality. There just isn't an acknowledgement in Purge March that the Marching Band world of is fiction. The World of Purge March might as well be real.

And in some scenes we can see this lack of awareness in a very subtle way.

In Purge March we have the two shots with the cat over here.

There's a slight change in lighting in both scenes even though both look "cloudy" this is cause the scene on the left isn't actually rainy and the other is. You can tell also by the umbrella.

But again the lines between what is real and what isn't are more ambiguous in Purge March. If you want a breakdown on the cloud symbolism archivalofsins has a post over here and plan-3-mars has a post over here and I'd recommend you check both of them out.

We also have This Flyer.

Here's the translation by tsuwmya over here:

"◯◯ principle abide to the rules of ◯◯ make everyone happy!! together with your father and mother ◯◯ friends who break the promise"

It's incomplete since the flyer is covered that's not the only thing strange with it.

As tsuwmya noted:

the usage of kanjis instead of hiragana doesn't seem to be consistent. 母 (☒)、父 (☒)、原 (☑) kanjis are learnt on second grade 守 (☒)、幸 (☒)、決 (☒) are learnt on third grade 友 (☑) - second grade, 達 (☑) - fourth grade, 則 (☑) - fifth grade

We know Amane is most likely Starting Sixth Grade. The age range for sixth grade is 11-12. Amanes's birthday is on June 27 and she's 12 and school usually starts in April in Japan.

We also know Amane is good at Japanese.

Q1:

Q: Do you have any special skills? A: Nothing that I can call a talent. Perhaps studying. I do well in my Japanese class.

Meaning it makes a lot of sense for her to know these kanjis, and since it's most likely that the school year is Just Starting for her it makes sense there wouldn't be any sixth grade kanjis included here.

It's subtle but it does mean reality has been more subtly distorted in Purge March compared to the lines drawin in Magic.

Which makes sense considering how much Closer it is to reality compared to Magic.

Idealization

Purge March's Fiction is Very Far from the Happy Cheerful TV Show of Magic.

It's terrifying and cruel, you can't make any mistakes here or else you will be "purged."

This scene in particular also reflects this event in her actual life.

Amane is putting herself in the role of both the punished and the punisher. Which is unsurprising considering Amane, to some extent, does believe that these actions are designed to "help" her and notably downplays the amount of pain she's in both in Magic And in Purge March.

Magic also feels a lot more restrained emotionally than Purge March since Magic as a song is very consistent in tone and emotion (the emotion being Forced Happiness) while Purge March cycles through multiple intense emotions and has a lot of changes in how parts are sung.

If Magic was Amane Momose's Comfort TV show where she can make mistakes and be told she can be better. Purge March is the band that she is apart where everyone needs to perform perfectly in or else they will be horrifically punished.

It's still a Fictionalized version of that reality, but it is a lot closer to it than Magic was, making it easier for the lines to blur between them.

Separation (And the Lack of It)

So the clearest showcases of this blurring are at the end with these scenes.

The first one is self-explanatory, the real world turns into the Purge March one. Fiction is taking the place of Reality here.

This leads right into the second one! We're back in the real world but Amane is...well.

Now, I can't really say that the Purge March Amane has replaced the Real Amane. That isn't accurate in the slightest, Purge March Amane is A Part of Amane. This Amane is real, but the world she built around her isn't.

Still there is a level of dissociation present here. Unlike Magic which Very Clearly separates Amane from the fictional world of Magic.

Purge March's fiction bleeds into the real world.

Which makes a lot of sense with what we know about Amane, this is Amane's Most Cathartic Moment of Happiness but also a memory filled with fear and dread and anger.

Plus, we know Amane hasn't fully accepted this murder, even though she talks about how it was justified by god there's a level of denial when she talks about it still.

(Translation credit: onigiriico)

Amane: You are treating me as a child after all. Because I’m a child, you believe that I must have been brainwashed. It’s not like that. I, too— children, too, understand everything! Please don’t just decide that people must be unhappy. Es: … Amane: I’m happy that I was born to my parents! It was a bit difficult, and it could feel restrictive sometimes, but I’m really happy that I could grow up on such beautiful teachings! I want to live this way!

These are Bold-Faced Lies. Magic is sitting right there with it's idealized version of the world. We have 3 different timeline conversations and multiple minigrams that contradict this. Amane straight up called her parents unkind in the T1 VD. (Translation credit: onigiriico)

A: Okay! I’m kind, so I shall forgive you. That’s nice, isn’t it? If my parents were in my place, you would have been lectured for another hour.

We also have the Entirety of Purge March where Amane is talking about how her abusers should just die already and how her apologizes and cries never got through to them.

She even calls them Scum and Monsters in it!

The “It can’t be helped”, from the scum who can’t be helped

If you become a bad girl, monsters will come out This is the magic that stops that from happening

We know for a fact she's lying when she says this. It's the biggest lie she could have ever told, she literally Killed Her Mother.

But the reason why she committed murder in the first place is because she had a righteous excuse to. She had a reason she could use to hide the main reason why she committed the crime.

Yes she is upset at the hypocrisy of the situation and it is motivated to some extent by her cult beliefs but this crime is so clearly one coming from a place of deep unhappiness and anger.

However Amane is in such a stressful and traumatic situation, what else can she do other than lie and cling onto something that gives her stability?

She hates her parents, but she doesn't, this is something she did out of righteousness, this is something she did out of anger, this was decreed by god, this is something she did because she Wanted To.

Why...wouldn't Amane Momose portray this action through a version of herself that isn't the "real" version of herself? It separates her from the actual murder.

And something to note here is that Magic doesn't Show the murder. It's completely off screen in Magic, something happening outside of Amane's view.

Something that Didn't Happen.

[supergraphicultramodernizzy]

wnba rant

tldr: I started watching the WNBA this year and am bothered by the racist remarks about Caitlin Clark’s black teammates/other WNBA players who are people of color over minor incidents. While Clark is talented, it's troubling that she doesn't address the bigotry among some of her fans. The criticism of her teammates and other women of color is unfair and rooted in racism, not a need to call out “jealousy.”

First of all, I’m going to be honest and say that I didn’t start watching the WNBA until this year because I don’t like watching sports in general (I have a short attention span and I'm too physically weak to be good at sports myself) but since the beginning of this season/after the 2024 draft I've been watching a lot of the games in person and online.

So many WNBA fans & people, in general, are saying the most outrageous things about Caitlin Clark’s teammates because of the smallest actions from them (for example, one of her teammates supposedly side-eyeing her after she showed up to a post-game interview late). The people saying these things also tend to only focus on the women on the team who are black — which very obviously shows how racist they (the people posting about them being rude to/jealous of Caitlin) are. On top of that, those people are the same ones saying that Angel Reese is jealous of Caitlin and then using more racism to show how they’re “right.”

There are so many layers to why these people are wrong and racist. I, as a white person, probably can’t even point out all the racist remarks and actions from some fans because I simply didn’t grow up with people being racist to me (and I never will experience that because I'm white). A scary large amount of people in general seem to think that people can be racist to white people… which is just so obviously not true. (If you already know why that isn’t true then skip to the next paragraph.) Many sources and experts have confirmed and explained why that isn’t true, but of course, nobody is obligated to explain common sense to bigots. If you genuinely don’t understand why people can’t be racist to white people, the very basic and watered-down answer is that it’s not possible because of the systematic power being white gives someone. People can have racial prejudice about white people (which could be like saying “white people can’t dance”), but that isn’t the same as actual racism (for so many reasons). I feel like this is also very obvious, but I’m not saying white people can’t experience discrimination. I am just saying that we can’t experience discrimination for being white.

I know posts with racist content about WOC in the WNBA tend to be ragebait but that doesn’t make those posts any more “okay.” Normalizing racism for likes, views, attention, or anything else isn’t okay (obviously). Yes, Caitlin Clark is a talented woman, but the other women in the WNBA who people say “are jealous of/upset about Caitlin because they’re racist” are so irritating. I can’t even sum up all the reasons those people are infuriating, but if I had to make a list I’d say they’re annoying & incorrect because:

Everyone is allowed to be jealous of someone else because it is a human emotion that everyone experiences at some point in their life. Even if some people in the WNBA are jealous of Caitlin, they’re allowed to feel that way. They’re not “bad” because of their feelings.

As I said earlier, no one can be racist to white people.

Many players aren’t jealous of Caitlin, they’re just playing basketball. It’s their job. Several of them, if not all, have been playing basketball for most of their lives. Some people are more competitive, some people aren’t. Many fans confuse being competitive with being aggressive, which is a misconception that is harmful to everyone.

It’s weird to idolize a player who has said, “[My name being weaponized by others to justify discrimination is] not something I can control. So I don't put too much thought and time into thinking about things like that and to be honest, I don't see a lot of it." That's strange to say because it’s nearly impossible to scroll through social media posts about the WNBA and not see people using Caitlin to justify their bigotry. I just don’t understand how someone could acknowledge that people are saying homophobic and racist things about their teammates and not feel obligated to speak against it.

There are many more reasons why idolizing Caitlin Clark & putting down other WNBA players is weird, but honestly, I don’t want to sit here on my phone for several more hours and type those out. I also feel like several reasons it’s weird are just common sense.

Anyway, I’m sorry for the long rant and I doubt anyone will read this but I just felt the need to tell some people to stfu (but I doubt they will listen).

Goodbye and don’t be an asshole xx

[livvyofthelake]

ok! sidequest from january complete! i am right now the world's biggest expert on the lightning thief and i will no longer be this person in three days when it all leaves my brain so let's get into it now. i reread the book (have not opened it since eighth grade, also i started it in january made it halfway through and this week had to go back to the beginning because i forgot it all), watched the show (ok. i watched 6 episodes as they came out and then didn't do anything until last week), and rewatched the movie with fresh eyes. and i have to say it's good i didn't finish this in january, that wasn't the right time for this... i was being kind of a hater then. or at least. i wasn't being a forgiver. this time around i feel like i was in the best place imaginable to devote my time to this franchise i ordinarily don't care about. like i was very forgiving and loving and viewing it with a lot of fondness... i didn't even do that back in april when i read the nico book damn. couldn't even extend the fondness to my favorite guy.... that's not even true i think my favorite guy in this franchise is annabeth i just used to think it was nico back in the day because i think after pjo i didn't consider her a real character due to her being so entrenched in the mythos of the series. idk. i was weird about picking favorite characters back then i never thought i could pick a main one. idk. let's not dwell on the trenches of ages 12-15. do not worry about how that line of thinking impacted my relationship with tsc we aren't getting into that weirdness rn

ok so now i'd like to go through everything about the lightning thief (yes, specifically only the lightning thief. i'm not reading the other ones and i'm not watching that second movie...) and talk about which version i liked best and the pros and cos of everything <3 stay tuned if you want to read a longgggg ass post! if not. well gtfo damn

if you can believe it i’m actually about to be a movie hater and a show apologist. i know like. how bad is my life rn that it’s come to this. anyway. let's get into it....

characters:

percy- i'm gonna say the best percy is book percy. i mean naturally he’d be best in the book it’s his book he’s the narrator and protagonist and we all loved him in middle school!! and i think the show version of him definitely stayed truer to a lot of what makes the book charming and loveable, but i also think the movie version kept much of the character’s spirit alive too, just in an older way. i do think his age plays a role in the character and while i don’t think aging everyone up for the movie was a BAD choice i definitely think it was an impactful choice that changed a lot about the nature of the story in many ways we can get into later if we remember

annabeth- show. by like. miles and leagues and lightyears. the way leah sava jeffries DEVOURED that role and left no crumbs is utterly insane. that girl is a future academy award winner. she’s a future egot even. if she wants to do theater. she’s like. a once in a lifetime talent and i really believe this. have you ever heard the ways she can devour the single word “yes”? if not you couldn’t possibly hope to understand how hard she slays. anyway i like show annabeth best because the show diverges from the book and movie’s single perspective and kind of opens it up as an ensemble narrative, so she gets her own scenes that aren’t being seen through percy’s eyes, which REALLY adds nuances and depth to her that she doesn’t always have in this franchise. i know she has povs in heroes of olympus i was there. i am currently talking specifically about the lightning thief though. and the thing about annabeth in the lightning thief is that she is weird... she's such a little weirdo.... she's stalking percy around camp because she wants so desperately for him to be the one that can take her on a quest and she wants sooo bad to go on a quest and prove herself.... the movie gave almost none of her freak tendencies it's a tragedy... the way that girl acted in the movie was NOT a proper display of the qualities that landed her in the timeless video..... and leah i look forward to seeing YOUR freak ass in the 2026 remade timeless video <3

grover- i’m gonna say movie because i think he’s funniest in the movie. but show is a close second because in the show he’s sooooo sweet and adorable and it makes you go awwww groverrrrr… and he has those big brown eyes and big smile and you’re just like ohhh he’s just a baby…. actually i think it’s a tie between movie and show because both of those qualities are equally important to the character

luke- show. there is something about jake abel’s performance in the movie that makes me want to punch him in the face soooo bad. and when i was rereading the book i sort of realized like. wait we actually are supposed to like this guy and sympathize with him without him being an annoying Popular Guy… and charlie bushnell’s performance in the show really gave that in a delightful way i didn’t appreciate when i tried watching the show before rereading the book. the show really does give you a sense of his conflict between really truly caring about the trio and his ultimate moves against them. i think letting annabeth be there at the Reveal that he framed percy for stealing the lightning bolt was a crazy decision that went HARD. like. she’s his sister… he would always be on her side… until he wasn’t…. it was crazy you had to be there i think

chiron- i’m gonna go with movie. because i think in the book he’s forgettable and in the show he’s forgettable (sorry but. i watched it two days ago and i don’t remember a single thing he did or said) and in the movie he was pierce brosnan. as a centaur. what if sam mamma mia was. a centaur….

medusa- i know they want me to love the show version. like ok yes she slayed she ate i enjoyed how they changed the story there it was kinda cool it kinda gave hansel and gretel in the witch’s house. but i HAVE to give it to uma thurman let’s all be fucking real here. also. percy pulling out his ipod touch as a mirror… well that’s cinema. unbeatable.

echidna- was not in the movie because the movie swaps out the st. louis arch for the nashville parthenon. but i am going with show. because that shit was Crazy. i’ll get into it in the Events section of the post

hades- book. the movie makes him The Villain for easy film storytelling reasons which kinda sucks but from a movie adaptation perspective makes sense but still kind of pisses me off. and in the show he felt insanely underwhelming idk

persephone- ONLY appears in the movie. and i’m including her here to complain about something very specific. the reason she was not there in the book or show. is because this story takes place in the weeks before THE SUMMER SOLSTICE. persephone. would not BE. in the UNDERWORLD. on the SUMMER. SOLSTICE. i never even realized this about the movie until this week i’m hardly a greek mythology expert ok i wasn’t thinking about it that much. but now that the book reminded me i’m like. now why did the movie include persephone. on the summer. solstice. like one of her most main things is that she would not be there. probably her most main thing actually. that’s crazy.... like who was on that. who did that....

poseidon- gonna go with. book. show version didn’t Give anything... he was legit just some guy. i think i feel this way about all the gods in the show. except maybe hermes because well crucially that WAS lin manuel miranda… and i don’t like him in the movie because a) that’s literally just owen grey’s anatomy my mortal enemy owen hunt. and b) the movie decided to portray the vibe as like. poseidon wanted to raise percy and stay with his mother but couldn’t? which. well no he did not actually. and trying to make percy this. One Exception to the idea of gods not caring about their kids and making sally the exception to gods not really long term loving the people they have children with. it’s just ridiculous to me. percy isn’t an exception because his dad loved him he’s an exception because his mom is awesome. and sally does not give a fuck that poseidon didn’t like. marry her or whatever. idk. i just don’t care for the way the movie handles that i never have

zeus- gives nothing to me in all versions. peace on earth.

last on the list but first in my heart. the one and only sally jackson- SHOW. by leaps and bounds. i can’t get too into it but she’s SO AWESOME in there… she’s SO COOL. she gave jocelyn fairchild in many ways… she taught percy about greek mythology because he would need to know this someday... she raised him to be ready for the storm....

events:

minotaur- show. this is so tied to how much i loved sally in the show. literally hold fast and brave the storm…. i'm gonna cry again

capture the flag- show. let’s be serious the movie’s version of it was dumb and FILLED with so many bad annabeth moments…. i watch her in the beginning of this movie and i go wow she would not say that! she wanted him on HER team…. she wouldn’t cut him with a sword… also. what i like about the show version is that AFTER they won was when annabeth just. shoved his ass in the water like um sorry has to be done! and it was real

starting the quest- show…. i loved when chiron was like i've assembled all these cool potential kids you could select :) and percy didn't even listen to their names he just said um i want annabeth please! but he wasn't that polite he straight up just said her name no fuss about it he said i want this freak on my team. and my bestie grover <3 and grover wasn't even like an option percy just wanted him on his quest soooo bad... because they're best friends btw if you haven't heard!

medusa- MOVIE. next

st. louis arch- show… the way annabeth volunteers to fight off the chimera and percy does that thing where he pretends to let her and hands her his sword but then uses the sword to pull himself into where she's standing and push her back into the stairs to get out... that was crazy stuff! also i loved the part about them going to the arch not just because annabeth was obsessed with architecture but because the arch was a temple to athena. like i think that gave such a cool opportunity to give annabeth some character moments and showcase her relationship with her mother, the way athena allowed the chimera to attack because she was mad at annabeth for letting percy send medusa's head to olympus... damn these gods are bad parents!

water park- SHOWWWWWW NO QUESTION. i never gave a fuck about the spider shit they did in the book that was all lame but the way they changed it for the show slayed the house downnnn omg.... percy getting trapped in that golden chair so annabeth can get ares' shield, instead of taking the shield back she tries to get him out until hephaestus himself comes out and tries to make her give up...and then her speech to him was sooo excellent it was so ANNABETH it was so thesis statement on her and percy's dynamic it was so good.... "it isn't how it should be! it isn't! eat or be eaten, power and glory and nothing else matters! ares is that way, zeus is that way, my mother is that way.... he isn't that way..." she doesn't want to do this quest the gods way! she wants to save her friends! god guys it was so fucking good....

lotus casino- just going with book here. underdog pick i know. i just don’t want to involve myself in the discourse that WAS happening in january. i was there on tiktok it was annoying as hell i’m removing myself from the narrative. i will say that in a sense, levitating by dua lipa is kind of the poker face of our time. in a sense.

underworld- book. we are at a point in this post where i don't care enough to really write a paragraph on the parts that don't interest me as much. so. yeah

the pearls- ok. the thing the movie did with the pearls was make them the whole plot. they went to medusa’s place and the nashville parthenon and the lotus casino to get the pearls to escape the underworld. but the whole deal with the movie is that there wasn’t a Quest like the books they were going rogue to save percy’s mom. so why did they never question that they were looking for three pearls to ultimately get four people out of the underworld? like. come on guys you’re not this stupid… and in the book and show the pearls were given to percy by that water lady. but in the show she gave him 4 and then they lost one which i thought was stupid like couldn’t we have just done it how it happened in the book where he was only given three and had to leave his mom behind trusting that once he found hades helm he’d let her go? anyway. whatever. book

fight with ares- pretty much all the same. only notable difference between the book and the show is that the book leaned way more into the “percy is a fugitive” thing than the show ever did so the fight had spectators in the book. which worked for the book but i do think in the show would have gotten too complicated in many ways

olympus- book. actually idk. all versions are kinda the same deal who cares

luke betrayal- show! in the book he just takes percy out to the forest and sets a monster scorpion on him… lame! in the show he pulls out a sword and fights him himself… which i decided was better than the movie ONLY because i liked show luke better than movie luke. but the final fight in the movie is sick too

ending- i think. they are equally good. the movie doesn’t conclude at the end of summer like the others so it’s ending is more. not ambiguous. but like. less conclusive? the movie ends after they return the lightning bolt not at the end of the summer so it never has the part where percy has to decide to stay at camp or live with his mom. but the movie does lowkey imply he's staying at camp. which is crazy i mean he loves his mom.... anyway. it's still a good movie ending. between the book and the show there's not much difference actually.

in conclusion, i don't have a favorite but i will say i'm probably not gonna read the book again while i might rewatch the show. and i have already seen the movie many times. so if you wanna evaluate based on that metric there it is. i don't have an opinion on which is the Best because adaptations are complicated and these are three different mediums. i think it's a great middle grade book, a good 2010 ass movie, and a sort of middling tv show. i know i favored the show for a lot of things up there but ultimately it's just not a great tv show. it's a streaming service original that gave the author of the book and his most annoying and rabid fans too much say in the adaptation process. it's a really faithful adaptation. and we got a bunch of really good tiktok edits out of it. but is it a good television show? no.... i mean if you want to feel like you're watching the book it's good for that but it you want to watch a great tv show it's not the vibe. you understand!

i'll leave you with this sick edit for right now <3

[mylucayathoughts]

I've been seeing a lot of people post this statement from Nick's article about feeling guilty taking gay roles but to be honest I don't get that statement. Why would you feel guilty? You got a job because you had the skills and talents , just like any other job. No one apologizes for getting a job! I got my job because of my hard work and skills, I'm not gonna apologize for taking it from someone else. Should queer actors apologize for taking straight roles? Should Jonathan Bailey or Matt Bommer apologize for playing Anthony Bridgerton or Neil Caffrey. I would hope not! They're brilliant in those roles.Should we recruit psychopaths or criminals to play those roles convincingly? So why here? Why shoehorn queer actors by saying they could have had the queer role instead. This is going against the essence of an actor whose job it is to portray someone else convincingly..and Nick is not the first actor who said this. I've rolled my eyes before, I'll roll my eyes unfortunately now again. I just wish I hadn't it from someone I admire ( I still do and think he's immensely talented but statements like this make me sad)

Dear nonny,

If you are here to really know my opinion on this, as to why he said he felt guilt, welcome 🙏 I appreciate this! If you are here expecting me to just agree though, I unfortunately can't. So read if you are okay with a different pov.

Also, if you have read the one sentence that says he felt guilt and you did not read the interview then I would encourage you to read it. Or at least read the interview question and Nicks full answer to the question.

From your ask, it seems that you agree queer actors should be able to take up straight roles and straight actors should be able to take up queer roles, without judgment, without reservation. They should get these roles simply because they are good for those particular roles, because they can properly portray them.

I agree with that part. But I'm sure you have seen (or you haven't which is fine) that not everyone agrees with that idea. Some actors have been criticized for taking queer roles when they identify as straight. Darren Criss publicly announced how he won't be taking up queer roles anymore, and he explained why here. I understood it as that he wanted more queer representation in Hollywood and that he thought when queer people play queer roles they can use real life experiences to embody them. Here is an article where renowned actors, media personalities and human rights spokesperson talk about the importance of queer people taking up queer roles in Hollywood. There is a real discussion about these things, from experts across Hollywood and media. So this is completely normal, for an actor who identifies as straight to feel some sort of guilt taking up queer roles.

I am posting a screenshot of the part from Nicks GQ interview you are referring to.

Nick even mentions that it's not all guilt, it's like a sense of uncertainty because of the discussion that exists and his own belief system which he explains as "queer characters aren't solely their sexuality" which I absolutely love.

To me, this is Nicholas simply being aware of what is happening in the industry, what discussions are being had, what kind of work his fellow queer actors are getting, what audiences sometimes expect. This is Nick understanding and acknowledging his privilege as a straight white man. This is Nick being sensible about the topic in question.

I'm aware that these things can be very subjective and please know that however you might feel about it currently, they are not wrong or terrible or absolutely correct. But It is always rewarding, if you dig a little deeper about a topic or a comment that bothers you. And you will possibly find information that may change the way you feel. I really do hope you feel better 🙏