#I'm obsessed with this poly vampire couple

[fortunatefires]

Am I about to get a vampire hunter x hot vampire couple threesome in my book right now? AHHHH is this a fucking why choose??!?

[malicedafirenze]

I'm following some tags for books I enjoy and how come nobody has read and is obsessing about Silver Under Nightfall by Rin Chupeco? This book is legit one of my absolute favorite queer fantasy reads of all time now and it seems criminally underrated.

Read Silver Under Nightfall if you enjoy:

Monster hunters allying with monsters

ostracized but highly competent main characters

massive Netflix Castlevania vibes

gothy, horrory worldbuilding

MC wielding a dumbass overcomplex weapon

The Witcher vibes

MMF poly relationship, or as the author puts it "vampire couple finds himbo in the trash and takes him in"

MC realizing that most people in his life have been shitty to him and he does in fact deserve better

trash parents and having complicated relationships with them

just a good book most of all okay I have standards for plot and prose and action I really liked this one

It's currently one book, but the second half of the duology (Court of Wanderers) is gonna be out sometime in 2024.

If you've read it, be my friend pls, if you haven't go read it and then be my friend pls.

[random-introverted-blog]

Read your answer the second you posted it basically! I meant to answer but mulled over nicknames. Used a thing to make your account name  Anagrams. It’s in the end.  This has been living in my head rent free. 

Shadowheart def deserved more cute assist lines. Yeah, they all deserve causal flirting. Wyll and Karlach are the cutest! 

Post game definitely works for them. Slowwwwburrrrrrrrn. A lot of stuff goes ‘lemme go back to a previous save real quick, bae.’ XD

Bending things for canon is really so entertaining. 

AA would really be an ass bout it but would take you back. He does say he misses Tav in epilogue. He is still pretty obsessed. Also there was another thing that says he thinks about Tav a lot but is too prideful to seek them out: 

Asty and SH having Tav as a shared ex would be so crazy. Them being like ‘We’re so happy without Tav’ (at first. Pettiness) . Then them being ‘surprise pikachu face’ when they actually do get over Tav and fall for each other.

I have so many work in progress fics. SH deserves more fics l! 

I just adore chatting with you! You’re so fun and sweet. Might actually just dm you one day but let’s see!

Get you a couple that can do all three! I love the random funny bits that can ensue. They think they’re all that but would do cringey and funny stuff too.

The ‘I mentally plotted and planned a lot but didn’t see this coming at all’ is so funny to think about. 

Asty would be like why did this happen again (his track record of accidentally falling for Tav before). He’d be extremely possessive and extra. Definitely would be like ‘You won’t be getting rid of me ever, Jen.’.

Both are will try and avoid making the same mistakes.

Batstarion shenanigans and him just being even more chaotic and silly and just trying to accompany her ‘undercover’ though it’s like it’s a dead giveaway and everyone’s ‘that’s your vampire boo isn’t it?’. 

Also the trying to be suave and being silly and caught off. 

Astarion would have a rivalry with Shar in a way ngl. He’s like that’s my girl just so we’re clear. Vampire Bride! Dark Justiciar! SH would be soooo extra. SH would find a way to keep power over him too somehow. A and SH would have a super back and forth, push and pull dynamic. They’d really have a long game. Super powerful both of them. Accidental equals and evil power couple.

The possibilities are truly endless. It’s great to speculate and indulge in what ifs! You’re very inspiring.

A song that suits both of em is ‘Can’t fight the moonlight’ by LeAnn Rimes. 

‘Can’t remember to forget you’ by Shakira suits em too (plus the players who can’t get over em. It’s like let’s do a new route! Gravitates towards Asty and SH still. Shame you can’t poly with them together. But I get it would be a lot of work and that’s why). 

That’s so nice of you. To be like ‘the stories I want aren’t out there’s gotta make them and cater to other fans too’. Your ideas are so fun and smart. Your writing style is so engaging. The angst and  potential and exploring stuff is everything.

Congrats on the followers and you deserve even more! It’s so cool to think bout! 30 people is a lot! 

For the nickname, I settled on Wenona!

I hope you don’t mind it? Hawthorne, Arya, Honey, Heather, Wendy, Dorothy, Howard, Shanon, Anthony, Reyna, Thea, Ashton, Rosanna, Rowena, Sandra, Sherwood were the other options. All of them are so posh! 

- bloodmoon anon

Always a pleasure to hear from you, bloodmoon!

I'm flattered you put so much effort into coming up with a name! I'm used to the only flattery coming from my partner, but they're biased. I could write the equivalent of Mirkons story when you save him and they'd still say "that's beautiful, my love" yes I'm calling you out, babe, I know you're reading this.

THAT SAID.

The lack of cute/sassy assist lines is part of why I wrote Deny Me Not Your Heart. The other part is I see all this hurt/comfort/injury stuff and no one is writing these for Shadowheart SHES THE HEALER GUYS, THINK ABOUT IT.

I think a post-game slow burn is the only solid way for an Ast and SH fic, at least for me. I'm sure you or others are more creative in that regard than me.

You don't want to know how many saves I have stacked up on my PS5 only to do it all over again to my Xbox now lmao.

Bending canon is what makes us fanfiction writers, and never let anyone tell you otherwise. It's an art of balancing canon and the characters to what your vision is. A well done fanfiction is one that is almost indistinguishable from the actual story. That blurs the lines between canon and fan content. I wrote a whole speech that I had to cut to keep this from getting too long but short version, yes it is very fun bending canon!

I heard about the too prideful thing but I believe that was a cut epilogue card so whether it's canon is up for debate. But yes, he is pretty obsessed and I'm here for it.

A story with Tav as a shared ex would be very interesting! That's sort of the concept behind my longfic but instead of falling in love with each other, Ascended and Dark Justiciar end up having a Yandere 1v1 over their ex. But for the sake of discussion, let's say Astarion and Shadowheart end up fake dating to spite Tav but end up falling in love together instead. Sounds like an interesting prompt!

I'm more of a Tav shipper myself, if my content is anything to go by. But I agree, Shadowheart deserves more content!

Aw, I enjoy chatting with you too! My DM's are open if you or anyone feels like hitting me up and discussing fanfic, if you'd rather not send it as an ask that gets posted to over 30 followers. I'm getting busier lately, so my responses may be slower but I'm always trying to respond to things asap! So if you or anyone else wants a more private conversation to discuss bg3 ideas or some such, don't hesitate! I'll bounce ideas back as best I can. I will say my ideas/concepts are primarily Astarion and Shadowheart though.

Ascended and Dark Justiciar accidentally falling in love due to not planning for the outcome is hilarious and, for Astarion, very much in character! It's established several times that intelligent as he is, he's not the greatest at planning ahead so him catching feelings for Sharran Shadowheart after manipulating her into a tactical alliance (spongebob fish anchor voice: when will he learn?) rings of...

And after losing Tav, he definitely would be way worse in the possessive department of Shadowheart.

"Is that your vampire fiancee, Mother Superior? He's quite adorable!"

Angry chirping translation: ADORABLE? NO, I AM VENGENCE! I AM DOMINATION INCARNATE! I COMMAND THE NIGHT!

Shadowheart: he is, isn't he? And he's all mine.

More angry chirping: YOURE MINE! MINE, I SAID! MINE!

So with Shadowheart having access to memory magic, she would need to subdue him, tie him up and laser guide amnesia his ass. You can even manipulate or modify his existing memories, if you go by Shadowheart initially believing the Sharrans saved her from that wolf and didn't abduct her from her loving parents.

Aww, I'm so glad I'm inspiring you guys! This is the reason I started this little blog and to see it helping people in any way is what keeps me going! Thank you so much for your support, I really am beyond words for how grateful I am for you and the others!

I discovered many years ago that if there's a story you want to see, sometimes you have to create it yourself! And if you want it, other people do too! So you sort of bring together your own little club of likeminded people! Case and point, us and this blog! It's always reassuring to hear my writing is engaging, I'm one of countless writers who always feels inadequate and insufficient, especially after I read other people's work.

You can call me whatever you want within reason, of course. So long as it's nothing malicious, harassing or bullying. My partner may have some choice words about people calling me honey though 🤔 Wenona and Hawthorne are nice too! But really, it's whatever you want. My blog is to serve. Not the other way around.

And if I take a little while replying to your asks please don't think I'm ignoring you. I try to set aside enough time to fully read and respond whatever I see posted/replied somewhere when it feels appropriate!

Think I replied to everything in your ask... Sorry if I missed something!

-newly named Wenona/Hawthorne/Whatever else you wanna call me! ❤️

[lady-of-imladris]

Trope rating game

rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic? -10 -> very dissuaded  0 -> don’t care either way  +10 -> very enticed  nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged. Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Thank you so much for tagging me @thesolarangel <3 I'm sorry it took me so long! Answers under the cut!

Age gap: +10 I'm a dilf lover. I'm a fantasy reader. YES age gap!

Codependency: -5 Meh. Not my thing

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: +5 Yes Possessiveness (IN FICTION), no to obsession and jealousy (ESPECIALLY jealousy)

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): 0 I don't really care much for this trope, I think it's a bit overdone

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +10 YES. THE SPICY SPICE OF THE FORBIDDEN!!! THE DAGGER TO THE THROAT. This is what I always go for when I feel bad. Semester is over and I am so burnt out I don't have the energy to do anything? Enemies to lovers.

Friends with benefits: 0 I don't care either way

Sex to feelings: +5 There's something satisfying when it was just supposed to be a quickie because they were both drunk but then the author hits you with the italicized oh and it just happens.

Fake dating/relationship: +6 y e s. Especially if it is a very elaborate scheme

Friends to lovers: -4 Idk why, it's just a no for me.

Found Family: +3 I think it's a bit overdone? But it's always a good one (looking at you Six of Crows)

Hurt/Comfort: +7 GIVE ME ALL THE HURT AND THEN ALL THE COMFORT YES

Love Triangle: -2 SO OVERDONE!!! 2014 YA novels called, they want their tropes back (no hate to anyone who likes this!!!)

Poly, open relationships: 0 I don't think I have read anything with polyamoury or open relationships yet? RECS???

Mistaken/hidden identity: +4 ESPECIALLY if they are secretly enemies (and one of them doesn't know it and they fall for each other asjkfdakljghal)

Monsterfucking: +8 vampires? YES. Daddy Cullen, Astarion. YES

Pregnancy: -8 okay if it just is part of the story (I'm currently writing a fic where the couple canonically has a kid, so I HAD to include the pregnancy) and if it's not overly detailed then I am 100% fine with it, but if it's friends with benefits and then OH NO someone is pregnant, now we have a huge fight but then they confess their feelings and... UGH. not my thing

Second Chance: -10 NOPE. If one of you besties EVER sees me even THINKING about giving someone a second chance, SPRAY ME WITH WATER LIKE A NAUGHTY CAT!!!!! Not even in fiction

Slowburn: +7 When executed nicely, this is T H E B E S T. But the wait needs to pay off if you catch my drift

Soulmates: 0 I REALLY don't care, but that might just be because I don't believe in love

No pressure tagging @marimosalad @pursuitseternal @fictionalmenjusthitdifferent @starlady66 @queenmeriadoc <3 and open tags! But if you do it you must tag me so I see it!!!

[three--rings]

Ask game tagged by @gnomeicecream

rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic? -10 -> very dissuaded  0 - don’t care either way  +10 -> very enticed  nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.  Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Age gap: 0

Yeah honestly this doesn't really mean much to me. I'm more likely to judge by the other tags, etc.

Codependency: +4

I don't dislike codependent relationships at all, though I might be a little leary of the fic if it seems like this tag isn't earned, because it can be a sign of Therapy Speak Ahead.

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: +4

Depends on the ship, depends on my mood, but it's not a turn off unless done poorly.

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +5

I tend to like my contrasting pairs a lot, but I feel like I usually know that about a ship going in and it's less about author intent. More relevant with orig fic. There is a slight danger of someone substituting a nuanced understanding of characters for extreme versions.

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +10

Top tier tbh. I adore rival romance and antagonistic relationships because of how much more room there is to explore and so much more territory to cover. And actual barriers to being happy together than your typical friends to lovers or coffeeshop or whatever.

Friends with benefits: +6

I really love the next trope, which tends to come together with this one. I love a sex first, feelings later ship anyway I can get it. So yeah I eat this up.

Sex to feelings: +10

Like I said, this is catnip to me. I don't know exactly why, except that I really enjoy sex scenes that progress relationships and that's everywhere in this trope. Also personally I tend to be a sex to feelings person myself.

Fake dating/relationship: +3

This can be done well or badly. I have enjoyed it a lot.

Friends to lovers: 0

Yeah this is pretty bog standard to me and doesn't do anything particular either way.

Found Family: 0

I tend to really be romance focused. I enjoy a good Found Family but only when it's background to other things I'm into.

Hurt/Comfort: +3

I feel like people's idea of what hurt/comfort is varies WIDELY. From like "I had a slightly rough day" to "extreme torture." So I feel like this tells me very little about what I'm about to experience. Also it's just sorta basic: bad things happen, good things happen, which is just...like how plots work.

Love Triangle: -2

If it's put like that, slightly negative. Cause I have no patience for "who should I pick" stories. Threesomes, triads, and poly shit on the other hand...

Poly, open relationships: +7

I enjoy polyamory a lot more in fiction than real life. I mean, I have lots of poly friends and I've tried it but also the drama omg. Seen so many relationships torn apart by it. But in fic? Yeah yeah absolutely I'm there.

Mistaken/hidden identity: +3

Mmm, it depends on everything else about the fic and whether the premise appeals to me.

Monsterfucking: +8

Like, there are limits okay, but have I read some shit out of my comfort zone out of perverse curiosity? Yup. Yup. But also your standard monster shit? I'm about it. Tentacles are sexy. I've been a vampire girl since age 12. I wrote that Beauty and the Beast au where WWX is a ghoul-type thing.

Pregnancy: -10

And here we have the thing I won't read, no matter what. Pregnancy is body horror to me both in real life and fiction.

Second Chance: +5

Very much like this when it's fixing or redoing canon. Little less when it's "I took this couple and broke them up so I can get them back together again" because I don't like invented barriers to romance.

Slowburn: +4

I have not great patience, and as mentioned, I have a problem with artificially thrust in barriers to two characters being together. Some fics I really enjoy have nearly gone sour on me when I just want to scream from like WHY WHY can't you be together already. Why are you just inventing new reasons not to be happy! So it's good in small doses, and as with most things when done well.

Soulmates: +7

I like a good soulmate fic. I don't have the problem with them that many people do. Because IDK I just don't take it that seriously I guess. Like, people have soulmates in this world, okay. That doesn't mean they only have one or lose all agency or whatever. And I don't need the fic to go to great lengths to prove their soulmate AU is Different Actually. I will just suspend my disbelief for a while it's cool I have rope.

Because I enjoy being tagged for things like this, I will tag some folks, but whatever. And if you want to do this please do. @waterhobbit, @sunshine304, @amuseoffyre, @chubsthehamster

[ramonaflow]

Trope Rating Game

Thanks for the tags @jesuisici33 @mammameesh and @a-noble-dragon ❤️

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 - don’t care either way

+10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Age gap: -5

Not really my thing but never say never.

Codependency: 0

I don't know if I've read this trope. Not sure if I'm into it.

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: +3

I like a little possessiveness.

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): 0

Again I'm not sure about this.

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits:+10

Yes. Gimme!

Friends with benefits: +10

Pining while fucking. Yep. But it has to have a happy ending

Sex to feelings: +10

See above lol

Fake dating/relationship: +10

This is one of my faves.

Friends to lovers: +10

Another favourite.

Found Family: +10

Mmhmm yep.

Hurt/Comfort: +10

Yes. Give me the angst but it has to have a happy ending.

Love Triangle: nope

Not for me

Poly, open relationships: -10

Again not for me.

Mistaken/hidden identity: 0

I'm not sure I've read this trope.

Monsterfucking: +10

Depends on the writer/story. I've read a couple of vampire and werewolf fics that were good. And do we count dragons as monsters?

Pregnancy: nope

Absolutely not.

Second Chance: 0

It would depend on the circumstances

Slowburn: +10

Ultimate. I just love it.

Soulmates: 0

Again, I'm not sure if I've read any but I would give it a try.

I'm not sure who's already done this so I'll tag some mutuals who have recently been in my notes. Feel free to ignore.

@saraminia @mewwinx96 @yaydavidyay @thisbuildinghasfeelings @smblmn @flowertrigger @68henley @gameoflostandfound 💛

[orionsangel86]

Trope Game

Thanks to @marlowe-zara for tagging me. This one looks like it could be both fun AND controversial lol!

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

• -10 -> very dissuaded

• 0 - don't care either way

• 10 -> very enticed

• nope -> if it's a hard no and you'd never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you'd insta click out of the fic if it wasn't tagged

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it's conditional.

Age Gap: -5 depending on context

If its human. If the age gap involves one party who is either a child, a teenager, or a young adult, and the other party is much older, then I'm not gonna read it. If its a Twilight situation where a 200 year old vampire is grooming a teenage girl, I'm not gonna read it. If however, it involves an immortal billions of year old character, who looks like an adult human, and their lover is a consenting adult human, then age gap is meaningless. (Aka Twilight wouldn't have been creepy if Bella was in her fucking twenties or older okay)

Codependency: 3

I mean I don't really care if it's a theme or not, but codependency tends to be a huge element in the canon for most of my ships - see Crowley x Aziraphale, Dean x Cas, Nandor x Guillermo. etc.

Enemies to lovers: 7

Yeah this is good. This is fun. We love a good enemies to lovers trope!

Enemies With Benefits: 6

Prob wouldn't read a long fic about it but an under 5k porny one shot hells yes!

Fake Dating/Relationship: 4

I used to enjoy this in Destiel fics specifically where it was canonverse and Dean and Cas had to pretend to be a couple for a case. I loved that. But outside of that specific ship and context, I dunno if I'm all that bothered. Depends on the summary and the general context.

Found Family: 8

So long as we aren't talking Avengers fanfiction lmao. It works really well for those certain fics where loneliness is clearly a contributing factor in the protagonists issues.

Friends to Lovers: 9

I mean, its basically my fave dynamic in canon so of course I'm gonna love it in fanfic.

Friends with Benefits: 3

I mean, I'm a romantic, so I prefer fanfics to at least hint towards the pairing developing more, so if the fic is clearly just a friends with benefits trope with no hints for possible future development I might be turned off. If its a trope as part of a wider story arc though I'm all for it (love those GOmens fics where they've secretly been friends with benefits for centuries but they are both idiots who are also madly in love with each other - ooh same for Dreamling actually)

Hurt/Comfort: 9

I eat that shit up. lol

Love Triangle: -5

I'm not gonna read it unless the summary is really compelling.

Mistaken/Hidden Identity: 0

Meh, it's unlikely to swing me either way unless there are other tropes included to entice or repell me.

Monster Fu... Relationship: 4

I don't mind it. But only in certain contexts. It's not my kink, but I'm all for Monster Fucker fics where the trope could realistically fit the pairing. (Dreamling does this well actually, It's the first pairing I've come across in a long time where I think it works because Dream is canonically quite monstrous when he wants to be.)

Obsession, Possessiveness, etc.: 0

depends on context, summary, and other tags. I'm not that interested in this trope either way on its own.

Opposites (like grumpy x sunshine, etc): 9

I can't help it i'm a slut for this trope. Just look at GOmens, look at OFMD - then again its more like aesthetic opposites than personality opposites. There has to be a "meeting in the middle" ultimately.

Poly: -3

Sorry, I'm a monogomous bitch and I like my ships to be the same way (except for those slutty slutty vampires actually)

Pregnancy: -9

Usually a hard nope. But I didn't give it a hard nope just BECAUSE there was that one Dreamling fic that I read which actually worked really well because it was technically a magical pregnancy that didn't include any actual biological childbirth, no one was actually pregnant, no ones body changed to accomodate a baby, and no one had to go through the process of physically pushing a baby out of their body. But yeah pregnancy and childbirth of the human kind are complete nopes for me. I will not read pregnancy fics - whether mpreg or regular preg or anything else. I don't wanna hear about pregnancy, or labour, or anything like that. its just a huge squick of mine.

Second Chance: 0

Meh. Its not gonna influence me either way

Sex to Feelings: 4

This is alright. Friends with benefits that develop feelings yeah? So like what I was saying above. But it was overused in romcoms in the early 2000s so Its gotta be compelling to pique my interest.

Slowburn: 6

I like it, but I like it when the pacing is decent. If its glacially slow I might get bored. If its slow burn because the fic is 600k words and they only get together in the last 10,000 words I'm likely to get annoyed with it. It's gotta be real good at keeping the story interesting, keeping the drama going, and keeping the sexual and romantic tension on point.

Soulmates: -8

I don't like it. This is all those soulmate AUs where it'll be something like "you are born with a tattoo of your soulmates name... etc" I dunno why it just doesn't compell me and I prefer stories where the characters come together despite the odds.

Tagging: @so-i-grudgingly-joined-this-site @tickldpnk8 @just-cosmere-fan @academicblorbo @notallsandmen and anyone else who wants to play. No pressure though!

[cheesybadgers]

Shipper Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @thesilversun ❤️

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore? I'm trying to think back to what I was even into as a teen...I read and wrote bandfic around my early to mid teens, but I'm not naming the bands 😂 Beyond that, there was Buffy/Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Sam/Gene from Life on Mars, Fraser/Ray K from Due South, Sirius/Lupin from Harry Potter. The only one of those I couldn't care less about anymore is the last one...the rest just make me feel nostalgic.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one? I can't even remember?? Probably something like Leia/Han in Star Wars, but I wouldn't have known to call it 'shipping' back then.

3. Your first fanfic was about which couple? It was a reader insert bandfic but I really don't want to talk about that lol.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of? No clue at all.

5. Have you ever gotten into ship discourse? No. I avoid stuff I'm not into and don't get why everyone else can't just do the same.

6. Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently? I used to be less open to multi-shipping involving the same characters when I was younger. Now, depending on characters/circumstances, I'm much more inclined to say throw them all in together and analyse the results lol.

Having said that, I hated what Sense8 did by inserting Dani into Lito's and Hernando's relationship. They could have done poly rep in literally any other way than how they did it, but what actually happened was just weird and creepy.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read? Carmen/Richie from The Bear. I wasn't even really into it when I first watched the show, but after re-watching with my husband, I needed to scratch an itch I didn't even know I had.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs? I never used to really think I did, but now, after spending the past 3 years writing a longfic for Javier/Horacio from Narcos, they're always going to hold a very special and unique place in my heart ❤️

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together? Not that I can think of, because in my mind, shipping is largely an entirely different thing to canon. It bears no relevance to the events of canon a lot of the time and fan fic means you can do whatever you want anyway. More often than not, my favourite ships tend to be non-canon, so I treat the two things separately in my brain.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting? Not dislike, no. More likely never really considered before until a lightbulb switches on in my brain (maybe during a re-watch or if something happens in a new episode) and suddenly, I'm interested.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, would've been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over? Don't think I'm important enough to be 'cancelled' lol, but I find shipping in general in fandom has become kind of vanilla and bland. People get really hung up on what is and isn't canon and miss the nuance of messy, complicated relationships and dynamics between characters. They stay away from a lot of rarer pairings and stick closely to the fandom-approved or actor-approved 'purer' ships. A lot of people say they want queer stories and characters, but when they're presented with actual queer sex and desire, the pearl clutching begins. I know this isn't true of all fandoms, but it's a pattern I've noticed over the last few years.

12. What is your favorite crack ship? Lalo/Howard from Better Call Saul.

13. What is the couple you read the most fanfics about? Probably McKirk from AOS Star Trek. I haven't read any for years, but there was a period about 10/11 years ago where I couldn't get enough of them. Stucky from the MCU is probably a close second...and most of that came in the form of fix-it fics after Endgame 😂

14. What do most of your ships usually have in common? Always carrying unresolved trauma, they're usually criminals, often violent/have killed people, always morally grey and they have a shared history with each other that goes back further than canon shows us.

15. What you absolutely hate in a ship? I can't stand love triangles where one party has to pick between two others when the obvious answer is either a) both or b) neither. Not a fan of big age gap relationships (unless they're non-humans and are hundreds/thousands of years old). Or when character A gives up everything for character B, but character B doesn't have to make an equivalent sacrifice (they need to be burning down the world for each other tbh, otherwise what's the point?). Or when the ship is presented as 'forbidden love' but there aren't actually any major obstacles in their way and it's mostly a lot of unnecessary melodrama. Love at first sight doesn't do anything for me either. Lust/obsession? Hell yeah. But I need more slowburn/history before the L word is thrown around.

No pressure tagging: @mariamariquinha, @thoroughlymodernminutia, @ejunkiet, @evilbunnyking and anyone else who wants to answer these!

[barneswilsonrogers]

Trope game!

thank you for the tag @writerkenna

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 -> don’t care either way

10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional

Age Gap: 5

only if its silver fox steve and the age gap is not big

Codependency: 5

I like it only to an extent. If it’s too extreme then it becomes annoying as fuck. Especially if the main ship hurt other people/treat other people like they’re less important than their partner (iykyk)

I also never saw the appeal of a character who commit s*icide because their partner dies. Yall are not Romeo and Juliet calm down.

Enemies to lovers: 6

It’s not my favorite. I would only click if I like both characters equally. Also sometimes this trope can easily turns into a toxic relationship which I dislike.

Enemies With Benefits: 6

what’s the difference between this and enemies to lovers?? arent they the same lol

Fake Dating/Relationship: 7

I've read a couple of sambucky/samsteve fics like this and they're always fun.

Found Family: 10

This is my shit! Cap quartet is my favorite example.

Friends To Lovers: 10

yep another one of my faves! it's why I love samsteve so much.

Friends With Benefits: 5

meh

Hurt/Comfort: 8

I loveeee it so much esp if it gets steamy at the end hehe

Love Triangle: -1

I used to love it when I was younger but now it's poly or else

Mistaken/Hidden Identity: 7

I love it esp if the writer is skilled and there are many twists and turns along the way

Monster Fu… Relationship: 0

I dont understand loool is it like Venom and Eddie? is it one of those abo Werewolves thing? I'm not against it I just don't get it lmaoiksdnfk idk these fics are not my radar thats all

Does vampire count because I do ship loustat and lestat is kind of a monster 😂

Obsession, Possessiveness, etc: -1

Sorry but most of the times, the dialogue makes me cringed!!! So I rather avoid them lmao

Opposites (like grumpy×sunshine, etc): 10

Duh?? i ship sambucky

Poly: 10

YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES in the mcu i ship samstevebucky, clintbuckynat, stevebuckypeggy, rhodeytonypepper - they're all amazing

Pregnancy: 8

I'm a sap i love domestic things

Second Chance: 8

Oh, this is beautiful esp if it's about Steve Rogers building a new life after he wakes up and making the most of it because he's grateful to have a second chance.

Sex To Feelings: 8 oh yes. always a yes.

Slowburn: 8 I love when a story is so good and you don't want it to end so please make it as slow as you want lol

Soulmates: -1 yeah idk sometimes it works, sometimes it too predictable

tagging! (with 0 pressure): @alivedean @lilacevans @love-buckybarnes @margaretacarter and anyone of my mutuals

[littledrummeraussie]

🍒 🍑 🍍 🍇- Jex (sadistmichael) 🤍

🍒 What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic, specific or general!)

Oh, I really love the poly relationship in All The Things We Dream About - the love for each other, the teasing, how they care, the sexual tension. And really, just how the three of them all have a different relationship with each other, and it just completes the whole three way thing perfectly.

I also really love annoying, himbo/badboy guy and sunshine yet still grumpy girl. Or a real deep love cause I'm a romantic.

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

My brain honestly broke over this question LOL

🍍 What kind of AUs do you like? Are there any AUs you hate or just generally have beef with?

I really like apocalypse, soulmates, mafia, boss/CEO and art related AUs. I'm a sucker for those, really.

I don't care much about vampires, but I am obsessed with @suchalonelysunflower Sunny's work Looks Red, Tastes Blue. I think I give all kinds of AUs a chance, I cannot recall if I have beef with any.

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one?

Let's turn this around a bit: I wanna write a million fics about my favourite couples: Getaway, my badboy!Ashton (A Permanent Chace) and Mr Maffia Man - Ps. Still Care About You. I love the different dynamics for different reasons and I just wanna bask in my comfort characters and feelings all the time.

Thank you Jex @sadistmichael 🥰🥰

[beatsboy]

3.21

okay so i'm panicking. maybe it's because a lot of things are all happening at once, and i'm supposed to be the one who's calm on the outside. i told everyone i had this under control. i have to be daddy, for what feels like, all the time these days. and it's not that i don't want to be. it's not even that i don't like it. but there are levels. there are the times when it's fun, and there are times when it is fucking frightening. everyone says, do this or do that, and i am the one who has to make sure it doesn't fall apart. i make it happen. in the end. all the time.

or maybe it's because i just can't shake it. the feeling i was able to talk myself out of a year ago, but am, for some reason feeling again now. i think about her all the time. and something that felt so hidden, is suddenly crashing in with the rest of my world, and i can't keep it to myself anymore. and all i ever wanted was to have her to myself. i knew i couldn't, though, and i tried so hard to be okay with that. and even as a friend, i told her i needed more from her. and i did. but beign around her now, i still feel it. i felt it when she rested her head on my shoulder, and almost instinctively, when i responded wordlessly by placing my hand on her knee. like we always knew we'd end up back here.

and i find myself feeling possessive, even now. obsessive, even. i looked for her in every person in that crowd, as i often have in places i thought i might see her. (i just spent 30 minutes and am still spending time trying to locate the hotel we spent our first night together in because i've hyperfixated on it for the last 2 weeks and cannot think of anything else.) update: i didn't find it. the way i've felt the same withdrawals i did with zeke, the way my body can't seem to handle missing her now that i know it's so close. the way i feel it in my gut every time she doesn't text me back. maybe i always knew that was why i was so hurt when she chose so many other people over me. even though i knew she'd have me if i said so, every time.

but then part of me tells myself that what i want is just to get off on feeling like i have this sick twisted place in her life that no one can replace. i looked for her everywhere in that club. in every face, every tall blonde femme in the crowd. and it felt just like--like such edward cullen shit. like a fucking vampire in the club, glaring out suspiciously, waiting for my lost lover to arrive so i can protect her. and of course, by the time i did find her, she was already pretty drunk, which i hate to admit, but is one of my favorite tropes. i love keeping a pretty drunk girl safe. maybe it's because i somehow think i'm the only person equipped for the job, but i love guiding her through the crowd by her pinky, holding her hand, holding her hair. god, the things you are able to romanticize after growing to hate with a year of distance.

dead people get off easy, their actions forever memorialized in only the good stuff. this is what i have to remember, though, about CX. i have to remember all the parts, why i chose TB, why i didn't even tell him there was a choice. why i pretend like i never loved her, not like that. why i told jo that i wasn't serenading her when i sang you and i--i was. because of course i was. because the only reason i wanted to be open was so i could taste her again. because the feelings inside me were getting to be a bit--much. because the only reason i even thought about being poly for a second was so i could be with her. because i realized i couldn't share her. because i realized i needed someone who could take care of me, too. because i realized i needed more in a partner. and i decided this before even giving her a chance, but that doesn't mean i think i made the wrong decision.

i think i made the right decision. i thought i did. but then my body went into full-on fight or flight mode after our first queer couples counseling consultation where we found out the cost was 5k. and i fucking went along with that, like no problem. i saw TB's eyes light up, and they said there was a waitlist, and there were only two open spots (smart) and i said yes, and the first payment went through for $1666. so the invoice came in, and i saw the angel numbers: 666.

so it's a sign to refocus. but on what? am i supposed to be doing this therapy? or is this telling me that i need to not focus on this so much, and that i'm about to waste a bunch of money on shit solutions for a relationship that i might be done trying for. 

so there it is. the fear. the fear that after all this time, after accepting so much, that i still love her more than i love him. that i waited for him to evolve, and he has, but not into her. that i told myself that would happen at all. but what if i'm the type to jump ship when i feel a better option? i am proud of myself for sticking it out in this relationship, but i can feel myself become more distant from TB by the day. 

i know objectively i can't break up with him. i shouldn't. but i want to. i know i'll regret it, but right now, i want to.

i can't even think about her without my stomach dropping. and of course, i feel guilty because he is already being so trusting with me, encouraging me to pursue this friendhsip again. and obviously it's not even an option right now, but i can't stop thinking about her, and it doesn't feel the way i know friendship feels.

it's not the way i feel around ayesha. it's not the way i ever felt with AS or AB. i just feel--like helpless lately when i think of her. but maybe i just crave newness. maybe i just can't be satisfied with something for long enough. and here i am, and what the fuck am i going to do if he leaves? if i make him leave? he doesn't want to leave. i know. i can tell. but i just keep drifting away. i know he can feel it. i can see it in his face.

i think i fucked up. i don't know how but i feel like i massively fucked up. what have i done where am i what did i do is it normal to feel this panicky when investing in your relationship with your partner?

fuck, i feel the way i felt like with JB, but i also feel like JB? like i became JB? yeah, no, that's what this feels like. more so. like i just fucking need to see her. and i have never needed that from TB, mostly because he's always been here.

and how did i make a song that used to make me sad make me think of her and make me sad all over again? how am i pining again

how am i pining again

i thought i was over this shit

i need to tell someone

there is no one to tell

because everyone got to love her but me

one more night holding your hand, not

knowing what might find me at home.

one more night underneath my sheets--i

feel more than i see, and this has

always been my favorite way to

get to know you.

one more night pretending that we could have it all

because why am i still so in love

with the way your smile

pours into me

[anna1306]

That was my first work I started writing in English, so sorry for mistakes. Also I don't know, what counts as curse words in English, so again, sorry

Warnings: curse words, depressing thoughts, thoughts and talks about suicide, suicide attempt

(If you feel that you need someone to talk to, don't hold it in you, I'm open to every message and talk. You are loved and not alone c: )

Alone

Poly! Lost Boys x Gender Neutral Reader

You were angry. No, angry wasn't the right word for that. You were pissed, that was more like it. And rightfully so.

Of course, all in all the boys had done nothing wrong. Of course, you still stayed with them. And how could you not? You had been with them for the past 10 years, being freshly turned and all. You met them first when you were on a trip with friends in Santa-Carla. You were supposed to stay there only for a couple of days, being curious about "Murder capital of the world". And while your friends walked around, trying to find problems, get drunk, get laid, you explored the boardwalk. There your life had changed forever.

It only took you a week to understand that you wouldn't be able to live without any of them. Without calmness and understanding of Dwayne. Without long talks with David and his protectiveness over his family. Without Marko's jokes and unending adrenaline. Without Paul's flirting and constant music. There was no second thought, when they told the truth about what they are and what you are to them. You belonged with them. And you had never felt more whole and complete. You would never be alone again. You were more alive than before and your heart wasn't even beating, oh irony.

And you were happy with them, with your new life. You got used to taking lives away. It was just the meaning to survival. Now days (nights) were full of laughter, party and love. The cave, the boardwalk, the thrill of the night... Even Max more or less approved it. Well, not like he had much of a choice. He could say "no", he could harm you just because he didn't like you, he was stronger than all of the boys. But then he would have four pissed off vampires who would either try to kill him or abandon him. And with his obsession with family... That wasn't his perfect place in life. Besides, you were their calming element, who could talk them out of trouble. Sometimes. So he accustomed to this.

So, your life was perfect. It had been until recently. Because Star appeared in the horizon. You didn't hate her from the start, you understood her meaning for the coven. You weren't exactly the most outgoing or flirty, so you couldn't lure "food" into the trap. Star was better in this way. She was funny, she was pretty, her laugh was very attractive. You had the talk about it with the boys, and they assured you - nothing would ever stand between you all. They need to teach her how to live new life and how to help them, that's it. So you agreed to that. Plus, Laddie was just adorable, even with your dislike of his elder "sister" you couldn't resist this child. The fact that four grown-up cruel vampires cared so much for a simple boy warmed your heart.

But that was in the beginning. Now... Now you were ready to give anything just to have Star removed from your life. And she wasn't cruel or rude towards you, but the whole situation was... Not pleasant.

- Marco, are you ready? You promised you would help me with patches, - you smiled, approaching the blond guy. You two had planned this for weeks, with you buying new patches, but not knowing what to do with them and where to put them for the best look. Marko, being the most creative out of the four, offered to help, so you made plans. He smiled too, but... He looked like he was confused.

- Today?! Babe, I... I forgot and made plans with Star. Shit, I... I promise, no! I swear, I would help you tomorrow! - Marco grabbed your shoulders, looking with pleading eyes at you. His big doe-like eyes always worked on you, but now...

- Really? I heard that before, you know? - you looked away with a sigh. It had been already two weeks of promising, so you were pretty tired. Marko didn't let you pull away. He grabbed your hands and kissed your palms, still looking at you with his pleading eyes.

- No, this time is different, I promise. Tomorrow, when we wake up, both of us are going to make the best patches in the world! You will have the best... The bestest jacket in the whole universe!!! - you couldn't help, but smile a little. - Oh, I saw that! You smiled! Come on, babe, you know your bat boyfriend has empty head...

- Oh, don't be Paul, please! - you laughed, finally relaxing in the arms of her mate. Maybe he really forgot, and tomorrow would be the day. But in the next evening he went on his way, trying to outdo Laddie in the arcade game. And you were too tired to remind him again anything. The patches weren't that important anyways, and they had the infinity on their side, so...

***

- Stop it! - you could hear Star's laughter. Coming closer to the place, where boys left their bikes, you saw how one of them stole halfling's scarf. Paul was running around with it, while Star tried to get it back, laughing. Suddenly, the vampire stopped and turned around to surprised brunette. Star couldn't slow down enough and bumped into the blonde. Paul only grabbed her waist, holding her in place. Star put her hands on his arms, trying to push him away but he was obviously stronger. - Come on, Paul, let me go.

- Oh, but my Star of the night sky, how can I possibly let you go without having at least one kiss, - pouted Paul. He bent down a little, smiling like sly fox getting his prey. Star blushed, but obviously couldn't get away from slowly approaching vampire. - Just one itsy bitsy tiny...

- Paul, I found chocolate you wanted to try, - you decided to finally interfere, stepping closer. You had seen enough of that scene. Paul turned his attention to you and let go of Star. She instantly stepped away from him. Both clearly didn't expect to see you there.

- Oh, pooh-bear, you ruined all the fun, - whined Paul. You ignored Star's look and raised a brow.

- What, I messed up with your plan to kiss her? Sorry, can I offer alternative? Oh wait, I don't have such a pretty scarf, - scoffed you, rolling your eyes.

- Wait... - Paul smirked, as if he understood something. - Are you jealous? Baby, you're jealous, gosh! - you silently cursed. Obviously, you didn't want to see this smug look on his face. Paul knew he couldn't make you jealous while flirting with other girls, they were no one rather than occasional dinner. But Star, who lived with all of you, knew you, your secret and were close to you? That was completely other thing.

- Shut up! I'm not jealous, I just... Star looked uncomfortable and I know how unbearable you can be! - you found reasonable explanation pretty quickly. If only life was so easy...

- Oh, but... It's alright, I know Paul was only joking, - brunette interfered in their conversation, smiling awkwardly. You glared at her. If you could, you would explode from all of the emotions. Hoping to get the halfling in the process.

- Oh, then I guess, I leave you to it, good luck with kissing and everything, - you smiled sharply and turned around, going the other way. Of course, Paul followed you and told you it was all jokes, and nothing more, but you were already pissed. Even though you told him everything is ok, and you're not mad. All of it was getting old.

***

- David? Where the hell is he? - you walked all over the cave and still couldn't find your mate. Dwayne, Paul and Marko were on the hunt, and they had the evening to themselves, but the platinum blonde guy was nowhere to be found. You had called for him for 10 minutes and still no answer.

- He went away, - you turned your head to see Laddie, curled up on the sofa. The boy looked bored, but... He was alone? You looked around, but... It was strange, Star never really went off without him. Boys too never left him all by himself. Then why...

- Where to? Has something happened? - you came closer to the Laddie. He shrugged and flipped the page of Marco's comic book.

- They didn't tell me, just left.

- Ah, David went out with guys, - that was strange, as they usually hunted together, but... There were very many strange things with them. Maybe they were too hungry, or extatic, or...

- No, they left together. Star and David, - responded Laddie. You froze in your place. He... Just left the cave alone with Star... On their night together alone. - Did I... Say something wrong? - Laddie suddenly became nervous. - I'm sorry, I...

- It's okay, buddy, hey, - you smiled comfortingly. trying to get bad thoughts away from your head. It wasn't his fault after all, and you couldn't do anything about the situation. - Why are you so nervous? You know, I'm not rough like guys...

- Star... She told me to be careful with you... She... Thinks that you're too quite, - he barely raised his voice, but you heard him perfectly well, his words sounding clearly and loud like a thunder. You sat there dumbfounded for a minute without a word, but then sighed and smiled, hugging Laddie. This girl won't take the only joy in your life.

- I am, indeed, quite. But that doesn't mean I am no fun. How about you show me your favourite comic books, and we read it together, huh? - you offered. Boy was easy-going, so he immediately jumped to get his favourite book. And if you ignored David for the rest of the evening in favour of the kid, and even layed down to sleep with him in the nest, and not on the rafters with guys... Just coincidence.

***

- Where is everybody?! - you sighed exasperatedly. You were running up and down the boardwalk and couldn't find anyone. It was time for them to leave the boardwalk, but you had to stay behind for a while, getting everything the boys asked you to. They had to leave for the day, but... Realization hit you hard like a ton of bricks, making you stop dead in your tracks. They had indeed left. Without you. And the sunrise was close. Cursing and swearing, you turned back, running as fast as you could towards the video store. Max didn't like you obviously, but he could help you, if he was still there.

Closed. Panicking, you ran to the back alley. Without anyone seeing, you flew up. Maybe, if you would be fast, you would get to the cave in time.

Luck... Wasn't at your side, obviously. Flying over the top of forest trees, your skin started slowly hurting and burning. First sunbeams started appearing on the horizon. The terror surrounded you, as you understood - you didn't make it. Panicking, you practically fell to the ground, losing control of everything. You were trembling in fear and looked around, trying to find any place to hide and save yourself. Thankfully, you found some kind of a small narrow cave near the little forest stream. You practically threw yourself there, burying your own body as deep as you could, digging and throwing the dirt and the ground around, making yourself some kind of coverage.

What a terrible long day it was. You crowled out only when there was darkness surrounding the forest. You were still shaking, even though the sun disappeared. Yes, you healed, but you had never been so scared in your entire life, even when you transformed into the immortal being. You had already forgotten that they left you at the boardwalk. All of that emotions and feelings were washed away by the tiredness and fear. You really were surprised that you were still alive. Plus you were tired beyond imagination, because you just couldn't sleep in this place. You were dirty from all the ground you buried yourself in. So naturally you didn't have the strength to fly.

It was another hour or so, when you stumbled down the stairs into the cave. In your mind you would just go to the nest, sleep. Maybe swim a little, cleaning off the sticky nasty dirt. Food, emotions and everything else didn't matter. But apparently not to anyone else around.

- Where have you been? - harsh voice made you shiver and stop in your tracks. You raised your eyes to see David. And everyone else around him. All of them looked worried and... Pretty angry. You smiled tiredly, but nothing could change the fact that he was still angry, he was not easy-going, you knew it. Dwayne looked calm and collected as always, Marko stood a little bit further near Star's bed, biting thumb nervously. Paul shifted from one foot to other nervously. Everyone was nervous, you could feel it. Maybe they did care about you, and you were just wrong? - You haven't been in the cave for the whole day, now you're here, in dirt, smelling like hell know what and you're smiling?

- Dav... I'm tired. Let's have this talk in the morning, or tomorrow, I'm... - you pleaded with him, smiling tiredly and wanting nothing more but to just collapse in the nest.

- You're tired? We were on the edge! - he interrupted you harshly. You furrowed brows, not understanding, what he meant and what did he want from you in this state.

- We were worried. We thought about hunters and anything else that could happen! - added Paul. Everyone could see, he was nervous. For a moment you even felt a tug of guilt, but... - And you're okay. You're just went somewhere to have fun...

- Fun? - to say you were shocked to hear this is to say nothing. They saw the dirt, everything, how tired you were and yet... - You can't be serious, Paul.

- What else are we supposed to think? - David interfered in the conversation again. - You smell differently, you're in something...Sticky, to say the least. And most importantly, you weren't here for the whole day.

- Maybe because I was trying to hide from the sun?! - you snapped at the platinum blonde, having none of their stupid nonsence, your tiredness washed away, giving the place to anger.

- It was your fault, - you froze in your place, everything inside of you fell down at the sound of those words. Dirty, tired, exhausted and angry, you stared in disbelief at Dwayne. He was the only one you thought would support and understand her. The only reasonable one. The only one who would understand your reasons and the whole picture but...

- Dwayne, you...

- I was riding with Star, plus watching over Laddie, who was with Paul. But I saw you with that boy from the milkshake stand. You were chatting your time away with him.

- Even more interesting, - scoffed David. He came closer to you. You looked at the ground defeated, not knowing what to say. They even made it seem like you were in the wrong for flirting with someone. There was silence for a moment. Then David grabbed your chin, making you look at him. - You're not leaving the cave until I tell you to. It's safe from the sun. And if you're hungry, we would find you something.

- David, I...

- Do you understand me? - he squeezed his fingers, making you grab his wrist out of pure instinct, rather than struggle. You know better then trying to get away from any of them, let alone David. You whimpered, understanding your whole situation.

- I understand, - you answered quietly at last. David let go of you, and for a second you almost lost the balance.

- Good. We're leaving. Star, Laddie, let's go, - he headed towards the steps. You stood still, while everyone else walked past you. Paul though stopped near you and definitely wanted to say something, but... - Paul, it's time to go! - David called from the entrance.

- Sorry, - he whispered, but this fell on deaf ears. You stood in one place, not moving, until the rumble of the bikes became so far away, that even with enhanced hearing you couldn't hear them. Then, you felt them. Tears. For the first time in years you were crying. You felt like you couldn't breath, your lungs burned, as you fell to the floor. You felt useless, felt broken, as... They didn't hear you, didn't want to.

There were so many emotions. You crowled your way to the couch, not having the strengh to stand up. You whimpered and cryed only more from all the exhaustion and pain. You only looked up at it, not daring to climb on it, as you could bring dirt on it. Dwayne would be mad, he tried to clean everything at least a little bit. Funny... Even now you still thought of them and their wishes.

"You're ours. We will never leave you, use you or betray you. Or worse forget you. You're a part of us, kitten," - as if in dream you heard David's voice from a decade ago all over again, convincing you to drink, begging you to accept them. To let them love you, promising the whole world in return. It seemed so far away now...

You screamed that night. Not from the pain or tiredness. But from the loss of your mates. To you it felt like it was the end.

***

When they returned, it was almost the morning. When they returned, you were already numb. When they returned, you managed to calm yourself down and even swim a little in the ocean, scrubbing the dirt off. Technically, you were on the lower levels of the cave, so David wasn't mad. But he still didn't let the others go to you.

- If they want to sulk on the floor, let them be, - said him. You didn't even react to that. You just sat there, watching your "mates" go to the sleeping cave with emotionless eyes.

- Y/N? - Laddie sheepishly came to you. - Are you okay? - what a funny word "okay". You smirked and sighed. He was worried, even if he didn't understand everything that was going on. He was too pure to let him into that. He was just a kid.

- I will be fine, buddy. It's time for you to go to bed, - you smiled tiredly. Laddie stood there for a moment, and then hugged you. You shivered, but hugged him back.

- Dwayne took me today to taste this new blueberry shake. If you want to, I will show you tomorrow, it was good, - mumbled boy. You laughed humourlessly. This boy definitely had a golden heart.

- Of course. When... When David give his permission we'll go to have this shake. And your favourite ice cream, - Laddie smiled at you and ran away to his nest. Smile on your face, however, disappeared as soon as he ran away. You watched in his direction for a while. He was so careless, just a child in this cruel world. You could only hope, the boys and Star would raise him well and he won't fall the victim of everything that was going on.

You lowered your head and didn't move, not until all of the sounds disappeared. Guys were sleeping, and you could here Laddie's snores. At this point you decided everything. Slowly, still out of energy, you raised on feet, looking around. This place was a home for you. You ran around it with boys. You slept on this couch with Paul, too high to even think, move or breath. You argued with Marko over new names for pigeons over there. You read almost half of the new books Dwayne brought to the cave. You spent evenings and mornings near David's chair, enjoying talks or comfortable silence with him.

You sighed heavily, thinking again. You could have tried to save the situation. You could have tried to talk with them about it. You could have done a lot of things. But you were tired of doing it alone. They didn't try. They just went with it, taking everything as granted, and didn't think about... About you. So you didn't think as well, you just moved. Step by step, you slowly walked around, looking at the walls, antics, and things around, all to familiar. You stopped for a moment, wondering about how exactly you should act. Finally, your eyes fell upon sun, beaming through crack in the wall. It would be ideal. One step. They will understand, right? They have Star, they don't need another person near. Another step. They hate you now. They won't miss you. Third, final step, before you stop. Something inside was trembling, but you stood still. You were too tired and just wanted it to stop. You swayed a little, raising a foot for a final step and...

Someone tackled you to the ground right before you managed to make a final step. You shivered, as if you broke from the trance and fought against that someone. Boys were sleeping, you heard that perfectly, then what... You broke free from the grip and turned around. Star. Hell, you completely forgot about halfling.

- The hell you're doing?! - you hissed at the brunette, now extremely pissed off with her.

- You asking me that?! What in the actual hell are you doing? - Star looked scared. - You nearly went to the sun!

- That was the idea, dumbass! - You nearly growled at girl, making her freeze. Terror turned into shock.

- Y/N, why...

- Don't you dare asking me why! - you finally snapped. You already were on the edge, and now all of your emotions went back after the numbness, as if they never went away. - You appeared and changed everything! They see you. Not anything else in the world crosses their minds. Only you.

- Y/N... You're wrong. Guys, they rude and loud, yes, but they love you, not me. They really were worried when you haven't come back. They constantly tell me stories of you. They adore you!

- Save it! I don't give a damn what they're telling you! Their actions are speaking for them louder than words! They forgot me on the boardwalk and made me guilty in the situation! Dwayne, who was always the most considerable, told me that he was busy with you! I nearly died, trying to get to the cave, I buried myself in the ground, trying to survive the day! But I was wrong, because I stayed late, are you kidding me?!

- You know David, he's overreacted and...

- He abandoned me on our date night to go out with you, - you interrupted Star. - David times and times told me how it would be better if I learn from you how to be attractive, so I can lure meals too. Marco forgot about all our plans the minute you ask him of something, and let's not even start on Paul. They take your favourite food, and remember how often they forget about my orders?

- Y/N, I know what you're thinking. But I'm not trying to take your place. And they don't see me as their...

- Mate? Yeah, I know, they told me that. Words again. I'm always left out, and you're the centre of their attention. The best of the best, if you may!

Star was silent. She seemed like she couldn't find the right words. And you only now regretted your outburst, not wanting to make anyone guilty. It was your feelings, why should everyone else care, it's in your head and only there. It was you who felt it, not her...

- And the worst part - it's not your fault. It's theirs. I can't be angry with you - you didn't choose this. And I can't be angry with the persons I love the most in this world. This is the damn circle I just can't break. I did everything they asked me to, - you whimpered, started crying again. - I stayed here, attracted to them. They told me I was always supposed to be with them. That I won't be alone ever again. I left everything behind, I changed, I forgot everything about the past. Hell, I killed my friends for them! - you looked at Star, not even trying to hold back tears. - And they just... Forget about me.

- Y/N... - Star moved closer, hugging your whimpering figure. And you just broke in the hands of the halfling, crying again with trembling, though you thought there wasn't any tears left in you, and you were calm about the situation. Apparently feelings and wounds were deeper that you thought. - I'm sorry. I didn't know that you felt this way. I would have... Stop them or say something.

- They don't listen to their mate, you think they would listen to you? - you scoffed still through tears.

- They listen to you, sweetheart. You just don't see, how eagerly Paul and Marko are listening to your opinion in your talks. Dwayne loves to discuss books with you. They love you, I know that.

- But I don't know that... - you said quiter, sobbing, but trying to calm down. You moved away a little and wiped nose and eyes. - Sorry. It started with you, yes, but I didn't mean, I...

- You should talk with them. Say how you feel, that you want to be with them more. Let them help you, - Star said, smiling softly to you, giving you the napkin. You just took it, not actually using it.

- No. I'm done, Star. For months I tried and tried. We had the talk about you at the beginning. They told me nothing would change, but again... Words. I'm done trying, I don't have strength for that. I give up, - you looked away. Star stared at you for a while and then noticed where were you looking at. Sunny place near the couch. Oh no... She panicked a little, but tried to stay calm, at least visually. She had to do something and quickly.

- Let's... Let's decide what to do tonight? For now you must be exhausted, you haven't slept for almost two days. You can sleep with me, in my...nest or whatever you call it. And in the evening we'll come up with something. You don't have to... End it like this. You're young, you can travel, see the world, people around, - Star hoped she would get through to you. For a several moments you were silent, fidgeting with the napkin, and then you just shrugged.

- Maybe you're right... - you nodded, giving up on your goal for now. You were too weak now for that or fighting anyway. Star smiled with relief and stood up. She helped you raise to your feet and lead you to her bed.

- Let's have some rest, alright? - Star smiled, tucking you in firstly, making sure that both of you would be safe from the sun and than laying near you. You hesitated and then layed the hand on brunette's shoulder.

- Can you hug me? I haven't cuddle in a while. I know I said a lot of rude things to you today, and I understand if not... - you were interrupted by hug. For a moment you were still, as you were embraced by the warmth and nice aroma of the girl. There was so much caring, love, softness, you swore you nearly miss a heartbeat, even if it was impossible. You missed this feeling... - Good day, Star.

- Good day. Sleep well, Y/N - whispered she softly, drifting away.

***

Evening started normally. David woke up first. He stretched and looked around, jumping from the rafters. It took him a moment to remember that you stayed in the "living room", when they left for the day. He sighed heavily. He was mad, yes, but he didn't want to punish you for long. Maybe couple of days were enough? He knew that Marko, for example, missed the feeling of you in his arms falling asleep. And to him your scent was more than relaxing. He couldn't shun you away for long. The others woke up minutes later.

They crowled out of the sleeping cave to see your sleeping figure curled up on the Star's bed. Paul was already "aaawing" from this, while David just smirked. He made two steps to the bed, but was stopped by Star's hand. She gripped his shoulder, making him look at her. Halfling looked pretty... Mad? David raised a brow at this, asking her wordlessly about her reasons.

- We need to talk. Now, - Star tugged him to the couch. Vampires looked at each other questionably and followed her. Girl looked mad, as she waited while everyone situated themselves in the "living room". - Do you love Y/N?

- What? This is stupid question, - scoffed Marko, rolling his eyes, but Star had none of it.

- If you don't. If you lied to them about this mate thing and "the eternity spent together", let them go. They're suffering.

- One night of sulking and punishment is nothing, - David rolled his eyes. While he didn't think you deserved long punishment, he was still mad at you. - They deserved it, they stayed late with that boy, they didn't show up, we were worried and...

- Y/N tried to walk out in the sun, - interrupted him Star. The silence crept over the boys, they froze in their places. - I nearly stopped them. They cried and screamed that they're done trying to reach out to you. Y/N... They just... So defeated. I don't even know how I managed to get them to sleep. I guess I was lucky they were extremely exhausted.

- What are you talking about? Y/N couldn't, - Marko shook his head. He and Paul looked very scared. They exchanged worried looks. Dwayne and David remained silent, not looking at anyone in particular. They all tried to think about what Star told them. - They couldn't, right? They know we love them.

- No, Y/N doesn't know that, you made sure of it! - Star had never been so brave in front of them, but she still could feel fear from the morning. - You forget about your plans together, you abandon them on your date nights, you talk to me and spend time with each other, with me, but not choose them. I had to convince them that you need them. Y/N wanted to just... End this, - Star shivered and sighed, lowering her head. Her bravery was gone as fast as it came. - I don't know them very well, but... They don't deserve it. So get your shit together and...

- What's going on here? - they turned to see you. You heard the voices and commotion from the area, and came to check what was going on. You yawned, slowly waking up. Not getting an answer, you looked at everyone, and then it clicked. Their shocked, pained expressions, nervous Star. - Seriously? The first thing you did in the evening - go to them and spilled the beans. So much for the trust.

- Star... Please, take Laddie and go for a walk, - asked David quietly. The girl sent you apologetic smile but you didn't even want to look at her. You dreaded this conversation. As much as you wanted it to end, you didn't want to hear this and see their faces when it's all over. But you couldn't postpone it, and soon both Star and her brother were gone. Once again there was silence. - Kitten...

- Don't "kitten" me now, - you said tiredly. - Can we just skip over the part where you're telling me that you're tired of me and go to the part where you send me away?

- We won't send you away, - answered Dwayne. He looked calm, but his eyes were like a storm. He was shaken, seeing his mate like this. You could see him right through, even if he was perfect in hiding his emotions, when he was nervous, you could easily feel it. - Never. We told you, we will always be with you.

- You and me both know that is a bunch of bullshit. You have left me on the side for so long, that... You know what, I don't even have to explain anything to you, it's of no use, - you shook your head and turned away, trying to go away. Marko appeared before you, stopping you from leaving. You were mad at them, but his eyes, full of guilt and... Fear? Your unbeating heart shivered for a moment. You never could resist them. - Let me go, Marko. Now.

- Not until you let us at least try to fix this, - he pleaded, biting his lip nervously. - We were dumb...

- You are dumb, - you corrected him.

- We are dumb, - he nodded. - But please, let us fix this.

- No, - you said sternly. - You had plenty of chances. I'm tired, Marko, - you felt everyone's eyes on you. You felt their nervousness and... Fear? - Let me go. Please. I'm going crazy here, it's like you being with me is heavy for you, - you looked at everyone and stopped your eyes at David. - I just want this to end. David, please. Any way is good. Make me forget, kill me, anything but this, - you sobbed, but quickly collected yourself and stepped away, when you noticed Paul tried to come closer to your side. - Anything is better than seeing you forget and abandon me...

- Kitten, we won't kill you. And we don't want you to forget us. We were bad mates. We abandoned your needs, we left you. And for that we're sorry, - David carefully stepped closer, as if you could disappear from sudden move. - But we don't want to lose you. The mere thought of you going in the sun or just leaving us is...

- Devastating, - Dwayne ended for David. You looked away. You knew David wasn't the guy to admit his mistakes, to apologize even. But you were tired of believing empty words. You shook your head.

- I heard that before. You told me you won't abandon me, that you were trying to get Star used to everything, that we need her as luring element. We had that talk in the very beginning. And where are we now? - you smiled sadly, rubbing you forehed. - I don't believe anything you say anymore. I know you don't want to deal with me as you don't deal with anything that is broken, you always get rid of the garbage...

- You are not garbage, babe! - Paul couldn't keep himself quiet. - You are our treasure, our... Perfect mate. Yes, we have each other, yes, we are shitty with words and sometimes emotions. David may seem rude, Marko rough, Dwayne may seem emotionless. And me, I understand I'm flirty and sometimes go over the line with others, or Star, and I could say or do something shitty, I...

- Paul, - Dwayne had to put a hand on his shoulder and squeeze it in order to shut down his ramblings. Paul was wind up, he was nervous, everyone could see it. He was turned last of the boys, making you the youngest, so having the least expirience out of them, he was the worst in hiding his feelings. Paul pressed his lips together, keeping himself from talking more, averting his eyes.

- We mean it, kitten. Y/N, look at me, - David put a hand on your cheek, but you just pulled away fast, as if it hurt. You were hesitant, not wanting to fall for their words again only to be in this situation again. - Please... - you sighed and raised your eyes. David rarely asked. Especially in this tone of voice. He looked like he was in pain. - Please, let us fix this. Don't shun away from us.

- I... I don't know. With all of this, I just... I don't feel anything now. Like... Why do you hate me? - you sobbed, lowering your head. - I'm always alone. And when I'm with you it's like you have better things to do. You scream, forget, and I... I did everything you asked, I forget my past, I... I killed my friends, - you rarely shed a tear for them, they were typical teenagers, just douchebags, but that was still a big step for you. You whimpered, hugging yourself and clutching your sides. - Why do you hate me...

- We don't hate you! - Marko almost screamed. - We love you more than anything else. We just...

- There's no excuse for us, - Dwayne interrupted him. - I personally apologize. I should have listened to you. I shouldn't have just leave with Star out of jealousy or anything else. We can't excuse our shitty behaviour. But we can fix this, we can be better mates. Just give us a chance, princex.

- I'm tired of listening words, - you shook your head. Too many thoughts and emotions. You were afraid that you're gonna listen to them, and then, they leave you again. But at the same time... You could feel them calling out to you, trying to calm you. Trying to warm you and your thoughts. They were all around you not daring to touch, as if you were made of glass. You remembered with sad smile that that's how it was in the beginning. They treated you then like this, even after your transformation. Like you were the most precious thing in the world. Then they were worried that you would leave them out of fear or do something reckless. Now they were beyond worried, afraid they gonna lose you forever. So they waited patiently for your answer. - Alright... - you exhaled, closing eyes and lowering head. - But this is the last time, last chance. The minute you're doing this again, I'm gone. And you won't know where I am, whether I'm alive or dead, alone or with somebody else, I promise you, you won't even know.

- Thank you. We understand. That's fair, - smirked David. - Can we touch you? - you looked at them and hesitantly nodded. You instantly were caught in the hands of Paul. Marko snuggled himself in the other side of you. Dwayne hugged you from the back, while David kissed you on the forehead. You were once again surrounded by them, like you were their center.

- You're squeezing the air out of me... - you whined a little, making Marko snicker.

- You don't need air, silly, - answered he. Everyone let go of you anyway, giving some kind of a freedom. Except Paul. He was still clinging to your side, refusing to let go. Given a chance, he would hug you with his legs too, never letting go. You had to just accept it.

- What were your plans today? I know I'm not allowed outside, but... - you just wanted to know, the night had just begun.

- Who told you that? - scoffed David. You looked at him, not sure what to do.

- Some pretty guy... But honestly I think he's a little bit of an asshole, - whispered you. Dwayne laughed behind you, Marko and Paul snickered.

- Let's not talk about this guy, - David made a face of displeasure. His eyes were warm though, that put you to ease, he wasn't mad, he took it as a joke. Maybe that was the new beginning, oh, how you would like to believe that. - Today is all about you. What do you want to do? - you could feel the attention again shifted on you. You thought for a moment.

- I... I haven't eaten for a while, so... - others grinned. Even Paul let go of you for a moment. They were loving, caring and understanding of your calmness and kindness for the most part, but there was no denying they adored more wild, dark side of you. David smirked.

- Then let me invite you to our peace offering dinner, - he outstretched his hand. And like a decade ago, you put your hand in his. It's going to be alright, you believed it.

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

Hello! I found your log a couple of days ago and I love your work!

Would you be able to write a Poly! Lost Boys with a reader who is part of the All-Volunteer Force(as in a current member of the AVF).

Once again, I am obsessed with your blog! Keep up the good work and Thank you!

Thank you love! I hope you have a good couple of days celebrating the holidays!

So I had to look this up - nd if I'm right this is that you have the free choice of fighting in the army right? (simply put 😅) so, anyways, with minimal knowledge, I hope you like this💕

------

"I got to go away for a while," you sat on the old couch in the cave, looking at your boys. They stopped whatever they were doing before, all turning to look at you with worry and fear etched onto their faces.

"Why?"

"I told you I'm a volunteer, right?"

"So?"

"So, I got a message, and I want to go and help."

David looked at you still, his eyes practically burning into your mind. Dwayne had sat down next to you, taking the letter from your lap. He read it, frowned, read it again - and then turned to look at you.

"Why didn't you say you were in the AVF?"

"Because - well, I don't know."

"You fight?" Paul looked at you, losing a bit of the tension he'd had in his expression. You nodded.

"Not that I am going to tell you to not go -" Marko sat on the other side of you, "but how come you didn't think of telling your vampire boyfriends that you're in the army?"

"Its not entirely - oh well," you sighed, "because I knew you would worry. I can handle myself, I've done so before and I didn't want to create any unnecessary tension."

"Where will you go to?" David asked, his voice lacking the usual chill.

"I don't know yet."

"I don't like this."

"I know," you smiled sadly, "but I like doing it. I like to think that it helps, that I help people because of what I and the rest of the force do."

"There are safer ways to help people, babe."

"Of course," you looked at Paul, "but I want to do this. Have so since I was little."

"When will you leave tomorrow?"

"Around noon. I've already got my stuff here," you leant against Dwayne, taking his hand in yours. "I didn't really want to miss the opportunity to spend some more time with you guys."

"You'll be careful out there, you hear me?"

"I promise, David."

The sun was rising already, and the conversation fell quiet. Paul seemed most open about it, still wanting you to be careful but also quite accepting. Dwayne was harder to read, but you could have sworn you could see a shimmer of pride in his eyes upon the mention of you being a member of the volunteer force. Marko was not against the idea, although he didn't like the ide of a very human you fighting in a potentially dangerous situation, he just felt a little hurt that you didn't tell them before. David was coldest about it all, and definitely hard to read.

You got up, getting ready for bed, when he followed you.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked as you'd just finished brushing your teeth. You nodded, turning to look at him.

"I'm proud of you," he said softly, hugging you tightly. "Just make sure you don't get hurt and make it home safely."

"I'll try."

You let go of him, hugging the other boys. It would be the last night that the five of you slept in one bed for at least six months. But, as you slowly drifted off to sleep, hearing the soft murmurs of "I love you", you knew that this would be a good home to come back to. You fell asleep, missing your boys already.

[carllisle]

I understand well that you too want to get it on with Both Esme and Carlisle right? 👀👀 I'm asking just cause I don't see a lot of poly stuff around and as I'm growing oLdEr I'm more gravitatin towards these two than the "kids" of the Cullens. So I'd just like to hear your thoughts is all (and if I've got your want to be poly with Esme & Carlisle right).

Wishing you a nice day! 💚

Oh my goodness it’s horndog central babeeeeyyy

I’m not poly myself but in this hypothetical, I just love Carlisle and Esme (honestly I always have, th first fanfiction I ever wrote 12 years ago was about them and here I am right back at where I started so don’t worry I don’t think it’s an age thing) and I think to be enveloped in their love would be MAGICAL teehee 

Jokes of the above nature aside, they’re just such a wonderful couple to write about and read about and dream about, right?? Unlike Bella and Edward who have this all-consuming love where nothing else matters, Esme and Carlisle very much have lives outside of each other - Carlisle practices medicine and Esme is an architect and artist and developer. At no point do we see them risk anyone else for the other, and they don’t keep each other as a blinding priority (think about Twilight when Esme was literally ‘bait’ for James and Victoria and Carlisle let it happen, leaving her even though we all know she’s not a fighter, because A. he trusted Rosalie, and B. because he did it for Edward). There’s something relatable about that, right? Because finding love in the real world SHOULDN’T be all-consuming, it SHOULDN’T be obsessive and destructive and irrational. You should still be YOU even after you find the love of your life. 

Furthermore what is more sexy than an old, powerful, venerable, kind, handsome vampire who has wandered lonely years yearning for companionship, shying away from his terrible nature in search of something greater, finding a home in someone as broken as he? What’s sexier than two people who have suffered greatly and are ALL THE KINDER FOR IT???? NOTHING!! THAT’S WHAT!! People who rise from the ashes of a broken life with kindness in their hearts are the sexiest of all. And then they find love in each other? And it’s an enduring, deep love that binds them body and soul? now from the top make it drop thats a WAP thats a WAP

listen you know they have deep conversations about what it means to Be, and if God is the alpha and the omega then what came before and after, but he also slams her onto the hood of his mercedes and gets called daddy when he e*ts her p*ssy who WOULDN’T want to be a part of that???

i love you for sendin this ask please dont unfollow me