#I'm so sick of ppl thinking just because I dont have friends that I don't have a sense of self respect

[benadril]

People often underestimate just how much I don't care. Like OBVIOUSLY I care I mean I even care enough to type out this post, but sometimes people just do something in the hopes of getting me to give just a TINGE of my attention and when I don't do it they get mad

[gentlefangz]

ithink this is what tumblr would be like in the dogman universe: a simulator

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

can those villain asshats get control of those goddamn monsters i have lost literally every single fucking thing thanks to those brainless pieces of shits last week a fucking T-REX SKELETON destroyed my fucking HOUSE and everything around it

🪻 inmylane-1999

how are you able to say those words

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

what words?

🪻 inmylane-1999 the a word, f word, and s word

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

oh i see you're one of the Collardale inhabitants. screw the fuck off your town is a CURSE

🪻 inmylane-1999

what did i do? :(

10 notes

🪰 greenweirdthingwithteeth follow

hnstly i dont get y Daryl hangs arnd that pig guy hes rlly mean & bad

🐊 piethrowingboss

didnt u help us go after him when he ditched us after the mini jail broke 2 bits?

🪰 greenweirdthingwithteeth follow

yeh butt hes still rlly mean & i was a lil moar concerned 4 Daryl

🐊 piethrowingboss

ohhhh kk

5 notes

🐕 zupabuddiezthezenutz

zomg did u guyz watch that new mini-documentary w/ Petey The Cat n Zarah Hatoff??? that waz tragickk..

#holy shart i have so much moar respect 4 him now..

6 notes

🔄 24hotdogsatyourdoorstep reblogged

🌆 icareforyou follow

still dont know why people are supporting Petey Duckhat just because of that documentary, didn't he terrorize the city for more than a month or two?? ntm he quite literally MUTILATED Officer Knight and Greg The Dog's bodies bad enough with that bomb to where they had to become that sick and horrible abomination i have to stomach through seeing on the news every week.

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

i know right?? like hes genuinely a horrible cat but people are supporting him for no other reason other than "oh hes a victim!!" like shut the fuck up and grow up.

comicpanel-deactivated-98325749857

op i wouldn't say DogMan is sick and horrible, he seems to be in great condition despite such an accident and hard surgery to conduct, and looks perfectly happy. while i don't support Petey Duckhat either, you took it a step further and suggested that DogMan is currently in conditions horrible enough to render him an "abomination".

🌆 icareforyou follow

dont you post tips for fucking evil monsters on your blog.

#LMAOOO dude was SLAUGHTERED so hard they deactivated #redogs

1,509 notes

🌭 24hotdogsatyourdoorstep

walking on the street with a small can of living spray in my pocket and the nearest cop explodes into blood guts and viscera

10 notes

🦷 bigmonsterinyourheart

okay i get that Dr. Scum is a real and kinda sucky person and all that but his labcoat kinda fucks!!

0 notes

✨ lookatthestars

Hot take or whatever but I don't think we should trust a guy who gets really distracted by squirrels and balls and a kitten who could easily get hurt to protect our city. Lightning Dude IS one of the better options as they ARE a highly durable and strong robot, but The Bark Knight and Cat Kid maybe aren't our best bets, they could get hurt easily and aren't exactly professionals.

Don't get me started on the Friendly Friends, I don't think we can trust two guys who JUST left the same exact trio that was responsible for that marshmallow factory's destruction (which left many injured, some DEAD), what if they're pretending? Also the bugs could easily get killed, they're small and fragile, the most work they can do without a high risk of getting smashed is spying on villains.

Commander Cupcake's a different story, as I'm pretty sure that guy only helped out, like, 3 times.

#anti-supa buddies #anti-friendly friends #twinkle twinkle little star

15 notes

🪁 lalalalala89

dude imagine if we were in a book rn and ppl were posting on tumblr abt us

0 notes

🎠 supastarr

remember, calico trans toms are perfectly valid! even cis toms can be calicos, and fur pattern doesn't determine exact gender, especially with fur dying technology nowadays! :)

506 notes

[queerbatboy]

Jegulus drabble, maybe a minific?

Thinking about Biker James Potter... him and Sirius would be really into motorcycles and i can totally see them being besties who post abt their bikes like they're actual ppl.

ALSO besties Remus and Regulus who like to meet at the local cafe that Lily owns and gossip about books and people walking by when James parks outside to grab some coffees and pastries on the way to meet up with Sirius-

Remus and Reg are doing one of their favourite activities which is judging passerby's as potential dating options because Regulus is always whining about being lonely and hating seeing happy couples bc eww 🙄🙄[Remus is just as bad, only less vocal abt it.] When James walks in, Regulus is immediately VERY unsubtle about looking him up and down. Remus is now judging him bc "Mate you cant even see his face."

"Shut up. just the other day you got a glimpse of some guy at the club and have been waxing poetic about him since. i mean, honestly? all you saw was some black curly hair and a leather jacket dude."

"That's different! there was something about him i swear! and his dancing; oh the way he moved was fucking sinful you dont understand-"

"Yeah yeah i get it he looked like an angel who moved like a devil; you've told me a million times in the past 48 hours I swear. -Wait shut up shut up hes taking off the helmet look!"

"Oh? yeah i guess hes good looking, pretty face. not really my type though" Remus looks over to Regulus whose jaw is now hanging open while his eyes look as if they'll fall out of his skull if he strains them any further. "Reg, you're drooling."

"Am not."

"You so are. Go ask him for his number" Remus nudges Regulus, trying to get him to go over to the counter where James was.

"Fuck no. i'm not just going to go over there and talk to him! 'oh hi i've been staring at you since you came in because you're so hot i feel like i'm going to die if you don't look at me' i mean are you kidding?? Remus? rem- NO. nonononono don't you DARE! oh i'm going to fucking kill you."

Remus calls out and waves at James to come over, smiling at him. "Hey, my friend here was wondering what model your bike is, it looks sick."

Regulus is so fucked. Not only is the handsome stranger even hotter now that he's facing them, big brown doe eyes looking at Regulus with curiosity and, maybe, interest? shit. But the gorgeous stranger is looking at him, waiting for him to say something, and Regulus knows absolutely fucking nothing about motorcycles.

should i continue this? definitely not my best writing as its just me getting thoughts out of my head but oh boy does this AU have a chokehold on me. I'm also thinking artist reg for this au, because duh, ofc im projecting onto him. not sure what remus is doing with his life tho... open to suggestions.

Ps. btw in this AU sirius and regulus are still brothers, but they don't talk much and havent really seen eachother in a few years after a big argument about how sirius left him alone with their parents as a teenager etc.

[zhouxiangs]

One last thing and then I'll never darken your doorway/ask box again, but I just need to get all this pent-up Way-related madness out of my system so I can put it all behind me and move on!

Inspired by your tags on the post compiling the mind control moments, I thought how this is a great example of confirmation bias and it's really fascinating how differently we interpret things depending on our predisposition to view someone/something a certain way: those ppl who view Way primarily as a manipulative, creepy, irredeemable antagonist (each to their own!) see him using his power on Babe in ep 9 when they're hugging as the sick cherry on top of a moulding cake - it's Babe's most vulnerable moment and Way can't help himself, he's at it yet again, the utter bastard.

Whereas in that same moment what I see - someone who views him primarily as a deeply fucked up, morally confused, painfully tragic disaster - is a man watching the person he loves most in the world (regardless of how we judge his feelings, that's certainly what Way believes) completely break down, sob in his arms, and feel utterly helpless in the face of that pain - unable to comfort him, to make it better, to make Babe stop hurting. He looks positively panicked. And that's partly because of his own lies and secrets and the general complications of their situation, but it's also because he's a trainwreck himself - he doesn't have the psychological toolkit necessary to provide Babe with the solace he needs. So he falls back on the only thing Tony's conditioned him to think he's good for - he feels powerless so he uses his power. It's all he has. It's all he can do. It's such a childlike reaction, it breaks my heart - often when a child encounters someone in distress, that's their exact reaction: stop crying! Don't be sad! They're bewildered, they're hurting now too, and they don't know what to do, they just know they don't like it, so they simply order you to feel better. It's coming from the same sort of place, it's just that Way happens to have the ability to make that order a reality! And maybe I'm grasping at straws, but I think it's important that all he actually uses his power to say is, effectively, 'dont cry, you'll always have me', which, as you pointed out, is a perfectly normal sentiment to express to an upset friend! And even then you can see his hesitancy in doing it. If he really was a terrible horrible no-good very bad boy, this would be the moment to take advantage of Babe, physically or emotionally. But he doesn't. Okay, so the bar is super low, but I don't care - I'm still claiming it as a win for Way's potential redemption!

and because it took me so long to reply to the others i actually got a third ask ijbol 

ANON DON’T LEAVE ME, my ask box is open for whenever you need to get all your pent-up way-related or pit babe in general madness out of your system, so feel free.

disclaimer i should have made earlier maybe: i didn’t know nut before pit babe, so i wasn’t influenced by him playing way in any way. don’t let my username fool you; i am a hot wheel omegaverse fan first and foremost and a nut supanut fan second.

i have to say i felt so proud as more eps came out and they kept making more and more obvious what was happening with way… because i clocked it in that first scene at the pool table, on second watch iirc. it took so much effort not to point it out to my friend when i watched the ep with her later that i had to shut up so i wouldn’t say anything lol i love when they do things like that hhh

i’m pretty sure that’s the moment i started paying more attention to way too, because he uses his powers on babe

to tell him something completely normal that anyone would just tell to their friends directly. and, to me, there’s only two ways to read his motives there: either he thinks he needs to use his powers to get through babe’s thick skull because he would not believe it otherwise, or he doesn’t believe in himself enough to think babe, his best friend, would actually listen to him and believe him. (arguably you could say he wants to make sure babe goes to him and no one else, which i don’t think is the case, but i will say it here just to be perfectly clear.) whichever his reasoning actually was it made my sad man alarm go off full blast. i didn’t have an opinion on him yet at that point, only found his reactions to the charlie situation funny, so that was my honest reaction without having any kind of preconceived notion or expectation from the character.

and then, as the story kept progressing, he kept using his powers for similar reasons.

yes he still mind-controlled babe in fucked up ways into believing he wasn’t worthy of love, but now, because he doesn’t already believe that anymore, the idea wouldn’t take. it would hurt babe’s feelings hearing his best friend say that, but it was honestly something he had believed at some point, and again way was trying to protect babe in the most misguided way possible.

and then of course there’s the scene in ep 7 after babe learns about charlie being another of tony’s children and i don’t know if you’ve watched it again after way’s reveal, but you can see his thoughts and feelings so clearly in his face. he’s feeling helpless in so many ways and he wants his friend to stop hurting so he knows the only think he knows that works and it’s so fucked up, because it doesn’t really do anything. he only gets babe to stop crying, which doesn’t make him stop hurting, only makes way stop seeing it, and i don’t think he puts that much thought into it, as you said it’s very clearly a childlike reaction, but it is so telling of way as a character and of his state of mind. not least of all because we’ve seen him comfort babe a lot more with things that are nothing compared to this, but here he doesn’t know what to say or do. so yeah, no notes.

you and me anon, you and me. i do think we’re getting a redemption arc, specially with pete’s whole thing toward way, but i’m cautiously not counting my eggs just yet. 

breaks my heart when people don’t stop to wonder why someone that from what we know has the sole mission of bringing babe back home to tony couldn’t have used his powers to either do just that back then or mind-controlling babe into thinking he was in love with him, and instead has spent the last 10 years next to him every day as his best friend. love by itself is neither good or bad, it simply is. 

[somescenecatholic]

ALL TUMBLR PPL PLEASE REPOST THIS ANYWHERE U CAN! THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE PROTESTS ABT THIS BC IT'S PRIDE! This can't go on for any longer. TW: p0l1c3, h0m0ph0b14, tr4nsph0b14

Qween Jean, a Black and Trans community leader was arrested at a PEACEFUL march for Trans Liberation on May 31st, 2023. AS SOON AS THEY GOT THERE there was lots of police and they arrested Qween Jean. I'm not sure if she's out yet as I can't find info on tht. On instagram it says to bail support at 7th precinct 191/2 Pitt St, New York, NY, 10002

This can't keep happening, there needs to be nationwide peaceful protests abt this!! Demonstrations need to be everywhere!!!! IT HAS BEEN 53 YEARS SINCE THE FIRST PRIDE PROTEST! I say protest bc PRIDE STARTED AS A PROTEST! It can ONLY be a parade when we truly get our rights. We can't celebrate until we see our victory. Like, our victory is in the bag bc good ALWAYS wins but we need to take ACTION!

ALSO, ANOTHER THING! NOTE HOW WHEN THE NYPD GOT KICKED OUTTA PRIDE, THEY STARTED ARRESTING AND STUFF! If they actually cared they would let this go on. They would actually do smth and hold their own protests for police brutality and etc to stop. Ik there are good police out there who are actually helping out the communities but lets be honest, the system is screwed up. There is far too much corruption. You KNOW it's bad when even little kids are scared of the police! No, not bc they may look intimidating. But because they are literally scared for their life. Same thing with guns. I was walking home from the bus stop when I was in like 6th or 7th (i forgot) and I thought I saw a gun in someone's car tht was parked in front of me and I was scared to the bone. Thankfully it wasn't a gun, it was smth else.

Anyways I'm getting kinda off topic. But yk what I mean right? (if u got any questions, do ask, my dm's and comments are always open! ^w^)

I'm just so sick tht the stuff tht should be in HISTORY BOOKS is happening right in front of my eyes. Like there have been sm protests and stuff against this for FAR, FAR longer than I have been alive!!! (Ik im only 16 but still this is a srs outrage)

It srsly sucks that this is the world I gotta grow up in.

SO THAT'S WHY WE GOTTA CHANGE IT!

Any action u do can help the world change fod the better. Never miss an opportunity to do good! (big or "small")

SOOO! If u can, go to a local protest! Try to put ur community first, yk? Also, reblog this post and spread awareness about these kinda issues. I'd love to go to a protest buttt I do not have supportive parents and I don't have a car. ALSO, remember tht every act of kindness counts. And dont just keep it to ur friends. Support good local businesses, give compliments to everyone u meet, cheer ppl up, listen to others, donate to GOOD, TRUSTWORTHY charities, do NOT give canned food to food banks bc they need actual food, so give them money, and give homeless ppl money too yk? Ppl are like "WHAT IF THEY SPEND IT ON DRUGS AND STUFF?" Well ofc yea tht's a possibility but who says they won't spend it on what they need? Yk? Basically be a good person, support queer ppl and poc ppl, etc. The world needs sm more kindness. People say "HAH friendship, love, and kindness is such a simple concept tht's not needed". The fact tht it's simple says everything. If we had more of tht, all these issues would cease to exist.

Also, another thing:

PROTEST SAFETY RULES!!

Take water and stay hydrated! If someone doesn't have water and u have some to spare, waterfall it.

Keep face masks and switch your phone to airplane mode. This is a surveillance country. They know how to find you. And if u take pics, make sure tht ur location is extremely hard to pinpoint.

If a police officer arrests u, know ur miranda rights and STAY SILENT AND BE CALM! They will use what they can to take it against u. You have to think a stairway ahead of them. They can't say anything if u don't say anything! And justice will be served so dw, God's with you. Also, yes u can say ur manners like thank you and excuse me.

Again, please repost this everywhere u can.

Remember,God loves u ALL, no ifs ands or buts. ACAB and love is love. Trans rights are HUMAN RIGHTS!!!!!

You matter and the right to speak and protest is a human right. This is our world and we have the power to change it!

(also please tell me if I got anything wrong in this post)

[hangarsliquides]

saw ranking i binged them all again

one > six > two > four > five > three > spiral > jigsaw > 3d

saw 1 at the top. the forerunner. the patient zero, james wan played god and saw was his Light. i had to pay my respects to it and also Adam Stanheight is in it, one of the best characters period. living breathing memorable quote machine. the most cohesive one, one of the better law enforcement plots, the ending... i don't have to talk about it, we all know how iconic it is. i'll just say leigh whannell's scream still sends chills up my spine.

saw 6 had the best spectacle, best traps, great cinematography, also amanda's in it. the last bang for the franchise before the next three movies after it didn't reach anywhere near its caliber, let alone like... saw 5's caliber. the ending is iconic. i'm disappointed that william didn't survive and it would have been interesting for him to be the only main game subject to live ( i'm indirectly declaring saw 3d non-canon). but rodrick heffley did kill a man so atleast i can walk away with this tidbit of information to share to unknowing fools who never saw this franchise. the scene with THE HOFFMANATOR and the voice descrambler was the most fucking stressed i felt during a movie since i saw rob zombie's halloween 2 i was fucking Sick. even though I knew what was going to happen. bravo greutert

saw 2 was a better follow-up than some ppl give it credit for even though it's also the one where the participants get a little stupider. addison's trap was such a perfect example of this, but can i be mad at it? no. because the first time i saw it i guffawed so loudly. im pretty sure my friends are scared of my sick sense of humor. anyways this is the only film where we get to see john kramer in action where he's not in a flashback or immobilized state, and he's a glorious cunt to watch. my deeply self-delusional serial killer blorbo. donnie wahlberg is so fun to watch. he's so angry. all the nerve gas house participants are also pretty fun to watch even though they're all blank slates with one max personality trait i love them. obi tate i will never forget you and your 5 minutes of screentime... love you honey...

saw 4 is funnier than people give it credit for. a lot of this series is, actually. legendary transitions. eric matthews befriends a little rat friend. introduces THE HOFFMANATOR properly. rigg's addiction to going through doors. every bizarre twist in the last fifteen minutes. an entire potential arc from the last movie getting cut short abruptly by strahm shooting one of the worst characters in the franchise to death. i would pick this for a movie night with the boys

saw 5 has also plenty of funny moments. the fatal five's game becomes a really mean comedy with how they simply refuse to work together as a team. even though it was glaringly obvious from the tapes that they were supposed to. mallick's actor overplays his part and its magnificent. more THE HOFFMANATOR action. strahm performs a tracheotomy on himself to escape a trap and he sounds funny for the rest of the film.

saw 3 was carried by bahar soomekh and especially shawnee smith Period. jeff completely drags it down. otherwise it'll be higher. justice for amanda young and allison kerry. i think i would have connected with saw 4 more in a genuine way if kerry was being tested.

spiral, similarly to saw 3, has chris rock dragging down everything. he feels like a pretty stiff actor. luckily he's more bearable to watch than jeff or bobby. that said, having the bousmaniac back at the helm brought back some of the extremely bizarre editing choices that fuel this series' trademark humor. the shaking camera shot that looks like it was made by a rookie in sony vegas pro... chef's kiss mwah.

jigsaw is legitimately bad. weak cast of characters which these movies always have but this cast is weaker than usual. i don't remember anything about halloran and logan except corrupt cop and ex military jiggy apprentice respectively. i dont remember what kind of personality eleanor has. i don't tgink i was paying attention to this half the time except for the barn game which also wasn't super good

saw 3d... the opening trap (misogynistic implications aside), the horsepower trap and THE HOFFMANATOR were the only Really good moments. the new gibson guy is one of the best actors which i mean that he's one of the worst actors. bizarre lines, even more bizarre delivery. the bobby plotline is the worst main game bar none and the only one in the series i would genuinely call torture porn. i can take away some element of humor from jeff being slow ass motherfucker but not this. the traps aren't intriguing enough. the trap involving a woman having to not make a peep at all is so Subtle. and joyce did NOT deserve that. i still don't know how to feel about gordon being an accomplice... i don't know how to make it make sense for his character and his development...

[yeonjuins]

this is so random and lowkey weird LMAO but like. i genuinely don't remember why i follow you but i'm really glad i do because you are a very entertaining person to have on my dash i just hop on tumblr and i'm like sICK it's yeonjuins and i don't know why i haven't tried to become moots earlier bc you feel really approachable but at the same time not because i find you really cool?? but also like. you are so real for everything you say on this app lmao aNYWAYS you also just seem like a genuinely nice person sO HI IM MARIA AND I THINK WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS :) and then also i get scared that i actually do know you and i've forgotten and then i'd terribly offend you by introducing myself like this BUT I DONT KNOW WHERE THAT THOUGHT COMES FROM BC YOU DONT KNOW WHO I AM SDJFLS anyways hope you're having a great day/night it's very cute and sweet of you to ask about peoples comfort idols btw skjSJFK i have not felt this awkward on tumblr in a long time someone collect me or something what am i rn like currently struggling to hit the ask button and i do not know why aNYWAYS FR FR BYE BUT HI AT THE SAME TIME IG??? HELP LMAO

HELLO MY LOVE tysm for dropping by my inbox i woke up to ur msg and i was </3 "sick its yeonjuins!" MY HEART PLSS i never knew ppl acc . acknowledge my blog LMFAO i feel like a one man show w a one man audience (me) half the time PAHAHAHA

omg i've been making more mutuals lately and they all said how they were intimidated to interact w me but guys !!!!!! as everyone says- i am all bark no bite 🙄

"you are so real for anything you say on this app" PLEASE ALL I SAY IS ME WANTING TO FIST FIGHT EVERYONE SOCKWKDKD this geniuenly made me laugh because im out here every day just denying bias allegations SOSOSDOS

i'm so honoured you think i'm cool ): your ask was so adorable pls </3 tysm for dropping by- we def can be mutuals my love there's no need to be scared PAHAHAHA welcome to my little side of tumblr <3

[dnalkaline]

ugh nobody actually has to read this i just feel like i need to type all my thoughts out somewhere or i'll explode.

I know like 9-12k$ isn't like impossible to get but it feels so daunting and i know barely anyone will reblog or donate to my GFM if i made one (as always happens for my medical shit. even for my pets) so idk what the fuck do even do about this. I'm trying not to be cynical about it but that's just been the running theme since. literally my entire life. i don't even know why i bother anymore

Honestly i have no hope for my future if that shit grows back and leaves me in the same amount of pain as someone going through labor multiple times a year AGAIN i think i will actually kill myself for real. im sick of this shit.

like this isn't even a dysphoria thing it's something that could ACTUALLY kill me through blood clots and nobody in my life IRL even fucking cares. My mom has enough money to just pay for a hysterectomy out of pocket for me without it being a huge deal to her and she just fucking won't and just keeps telling me to harass my insurance about it despite this being months of back-and-forth and i can already feel my endo symptoms growing back.

My insurance flat-out told me they'll only approve it if it keeps growing back and i have to go through surgery to remove it multiple times. This isn't even counting the fact I also have CYSTS that need to be removed because they're also causing pain and my insurance just... won't fucking approve it

The symptoms are already coming back after my most recent surgery and I'm still having periods despite the fact I'm POST-MENOPAUSE.

I don't understand why people keep preventing me from committing suicide just to not actually help me with the reasons why I keep trying to kill myself. it feels cruel. People say to reach out or whatever and then go radio silent. it feels so performative. I don't even mean that i expect my friends to give me money because i know everyone has problems but it feels like i keep being ignored and people make a point to not even reblog my help posts. It's always like the same 3 people getting in touch.

at this rate i hope i die. everyone keeps telling me it'll get better and i just have to go on but my entire life is me getting out of the frying pan and into the fire. Therapy hasn't been helping anymore because all the depression isn't like trauma shit it's just the poverty and the fact life keeps actively trying to get me killed by any means necessary all the time. I'm exhausted.

I'm tired of being the sick friend that's treated like the elephant in the room just because i can't fucking do anything and every inch of my life is just another walking trigger warning to people. I've become self conscious about needing to walk with mobility aids now because I feel like it's just another reminder of my fragility and inevitable demise to people.

I just don't fucking get it. i metaphorically break my back all the time to help other people with their shit but i barely get anything in return (except from the same few ppl i mentioned earlier and i am very grateful you guys are real friends). like. am i doing something wrong. am i just an unlikable person. i know people think i'm scary which i try to offset by being nice but i don't know if it's working.

I'm only alive right now because all of the fucking demon pacts and other spirit work i do causing me to avoid stuff and get more opportunities and I feel stupid about it because that's not even stuff that most people believe in and can't even be proven to be real.

i dont even know where im going with this im tired and i want to give up. fuck life. i actively despise life most of the time. I guess I just have to keep clinging to my blorbos i dont fucking know. whatveer.

[raccoon0001]

November 20th, Monday 20:38

So, first of all, hello, Im Raccoon, well at least i would like to be one. Im 17 years old and i frequently write down my thoughts when i feel sad or angry in a pink notebook by my bed, for the past four maybe three years.

And lately i have been thinking of just trying to write down my thoughts everyday, about how i feel, to know what i am even feeling, and that I'm not just overwhelmed and impulsive at the moment. So i don't ruin my next week or day by obsessing over that one boy that smiled that one time at me or was funny. Because in reality he doesn't like me and i need to step down and realise that, but maybe he does and everything is not a big fat lie, but it is. At least for me, mostly. Everything, almost, everything is fine in my life, except for being kinda fat and not having a real, single boyfriend in my 17 years of living. I know that is not that much and what i am even worrying about, because i have the whole life ahead of me(i dont see myself living past 20). Well could kind of imagine it, but because of one thing and another i always thought i would not live past 18, but now i am 17 so its quite possible i will live past 18, dont really know what will happen afterwards.

Its kind of a dilemma i know to love someone u need to first love yourself and shit, but i really hate myself most of the time, i hate how i look, i hate how lazy i am, i hate stressful i am, i hate how sick i am...yada yada yada. I know there are physical things i am able to fix, but how do i know i just wont regress? Even now im imagining how this blog or whatever this is, is gonna get popular, and be turned into inspiration for poems or people, but after all this text is just my personal feelings, about myself, for myself, that dont really make sense sometimes, because my native language is not english lol and im typing in a hurry and then gonna prob put a pretty background or something and post it if i get the courage, well its a very big probability nobody is going to read this ever, bcs lets honest who reads blogs these days..

always the artist never the muse" i have been very attached to this quote(dont know who is the author) i even begun last year attending professional art school, so i will probably never be the muse even how much i want to be one. Its almost the same with taking pictures, im always taking pictures of others and there are almost never anyone taking picture of me without asking. Well i dont really like people specially taking pictures of me, because of how ugly i look, but still, i dont know. Theres this one friend who takes pictures of me, because that of other things that that person does makes me think im gay or that she likes me, because shes gay. I think im not gay. Like i would prefer a guy fucking my brains out not a girl, but i could never imagine anyone fucking me, mby i can.. hmm not rly, maybe because i have never been fucked, or my imagination is kinda weak. Well i am in art school so i thought it should be good, but lately, well after that thing in 2018 april, I think i have been in this one giant art block. Maybe i need to go to a therapist, to sort things out, not really sure.

I wish sometimes i was a boy. And i think i stink right now, fully emotionally and physically. Whats up with that.

I must have too many dreams and too little motivation.

I dont think i should have continued art, its too much, im not even good at painting, if i actually started practicing more maybe i would, but i think im still worse than most of my peers. And in this school there are mostly girls here and i know almost nobody outside the school and town bcs i didnt even live here two years ago, the ppl who have lived here their whole childhood dont even know where to turn to get a shortcut!

My goal this evening was to paint something, but somehow i started writing a blog..

I think i should have been better of dying that day in 2018. Im not good of a person and i dont really know if ill ever change. What does actually happen after death? Has anyone thought of that? I kind of think after you die its just all pitch black and then u suddenly open your eyes and there you are as your first memory u can think of at 10 years old or whatever, like 'snap' and there you are, but dont know who you were or who you will be. I kind of want to get into biology, but idk if a have the commitment for it.

Two days ago when i was a home visiting my family, after sauna, I was sitting by the table with some other cousins at my grandmas house and one of the older cousins, who was kinda drunk btw, asked me if i had a boyfriend, i thinking already of crying and just jumping down a building calmly said: "no, do i need one?". i want one.

I think my mom is homophobic, but. i also think that im not gay, but i will probably never get a bf, because ppl these days are very obsessed by how other ppl look from the outside mostly or i just dont know a lot of ppl and real life is not like the movies or manga that i read in my free time, that i should stop reading, maybe that would solve everything.

Also by wishing that i was a male, because it really seems to be bit easier to be a boy, how the world looks at you, and how theres a lot more chance of no rejection. Maybe im just living in my small minded world and have not that many ppl with different opinions on life that would make me understand that the world works differently. A lot of ppl around me also believe we are born to fulfil our one mission here on earth, i still dont see mine here, like ppl would be fine if i went and died and go on with they're life normally, because im just this one little spec of dust besides other 7 billion dust pieces, that separately are a nobody. Maybe my family would be devastated, but prob would be prepared for this kind of event about me and i think it would be much easier for my mum if i died, she worries too much about me.



Im just lonely.

A selfish bitch.

[catnherthoughts]

not doing too well 3/6/23

how wonderful my life is. i get to go through all of this all on my own. i don't think i've ever felt this alone before. yes, i can talk to my friends about my issues but at the end of the day they don't care that much. they can't care enough to fix it. it's whatever, we ball i guess. he walks around and goes about his days. i bet he doesn't even think about me. wow. he just used me for sex. he could have just said that. why lie to me? why manipulate me? i don't think you're a good person anymore. i'm not sure i want to be a woman in business anymore. i'm not sure if i want to be a woman in this world anymore. i don't feel the overwhelming urge to keep living. what is the point? we have no clue tbh. no one knows. i don't feel like there is a point in me being here. then again, if i was meant to kms then one of my 8 suicide attempts would have worked. maybe 9th time is a charm. i am simply so sick of being alive. i do not want to do this any longer and i've been saying this for yearsssss now. just because i'm not ruining my life, im passively going through life day by day, i somehow got into college and am sitting in my macroeconomics course with a 3.3 gpa. i haven't done anything wonderful to continue living, i've just been passing by. i say to myself "lets just get through today and then you can sleep" or "just get through this week and then we can have fun this weekend". whatever. i always find myself becoming a bit nihlistic when i feel suicidal. "it doesn't matter" i chant. because it really doesn't. if someone who doesn't really want to live can get this far then does it really matter. i feel like shit, probably look like shit, and I just want to sleep forever. yet, i have midterms to study for. maybe if i fail my midterms i'll kill myself. oooo. yum. maybe i've jsut been letting life slip past me. i've been staying up really late and waking up mid day. weeks go by so quickly. i wonder who i even am anymore. also i'm sick! coping by kissing frat men is not the way to go. i hope they're not counting on me to be larger than live. live is already large enough to exist in. i hope they don't see me as a person who has it all. the perfect woman. take my spot. take my soul. i am disposable to those who know my all. im shaking. maybe its the coffee? who knows. im a cluster of energy walking through the world. maybe the angel prophecy of cat***** ******** created by someone who once loved me is true. she also left. this is a cruel worldd. the punishment i recieve has to be deserved. if im alive to be beaten down then im ready for the final punch. maybe i can be loved in death. my mom loves me? does that count for something. jesus that woman doesn't even know me. im shaking so much. why did i drink coffee? i wanted to be cool and have energy and be the one ppl envy w my dunkin cup. now my tummy hurts. man. i wonder what my therapist will say today. this is kind of a life or death meeting. maybe she'll give me some words of wisdom that will make me think this life is worth living. its either that or i die. i don't really like passing through life. yk being alive its not too fun. i don't like having to do schoolwork. although i kinda like this class. i should've come to this more often. being up before noon is so odd. its 10 am and im fully awake and i'm living. so many different people exist. i don't think a single one of them can love me. i look so bad today. i dont give sexy like usual, im giving depression. i wonder if when he saw me yesterday he knew i was down. i wonder what to do. how do people go on? these scars of this man might always be on me. that's sad. i feel nauseous. I wish i was a better person. maybe then i wouldn't be so sad. if i was like this girl who is sitting in front of me, with an assignment tracker.someone who goes to all of their classes. she also looks pretty. maybe wasting away my life by sleeping until 3 pm is not the best thing. i hope they're not counting on me. god i really hope they're not counting on me.i can barely do this for myself let alone live up to whatever ideals people have.

Tumblr dot com has it out for me i think. what if i wanted to have a fat blob of text? huh? anyways im currently in my class about close relationships along the lifespan and im talking to my roomie about how we've been in a mutual depressive episode. i miss being loved. i had a dream about her and it felt so nice. to kiss. to cuddle. i wonder if i had love if i'd crave it as much as i do in it's absence. the insane hyper fixation i have on it. i could fall in love with many people. its not like im not desired. is it sad that i wonder what he would do if i died. if the worst is true about this relationship, maybe he'll be like lol damn that crazy got the limited edition wap. im sorry. coping. i think i dragged my roomie into my spiral. sorry girlypop. i don't think this is being taken seriously. like yeah my friends know im suicidal but i don;t think they know how serious i am. taylor pyka i don't have a plan to kill myself don't send me away. i miss the gym. i should go to the gym today. is it too much to ask for a boyfriend? maybe. somehow i got reminded of hoodies and went to look for an old text from him. "are you trying to steal my sweaters miss :)". what happened. where did his love for me go? maybe i was just there to pass the time. there is a guy with a very interesting beanie on. he seems like a good man. who knows maybe he also manipulates women? i should not be mean to this random man. he looked back over. who is this man? whatever he doesn't exist. i don't like how im awake. vomiting vomiting vomiting. thinking about how he pushed my hand away that one time. why does he exist. how does he affect my karmic cycle. i miss texting him. he was such a cutie. now he doesn't exist. you will never find the same person twice, not even in the same person. i wonder if anyone has ever had a crush on me. i can't imagine someone thinking of me in a way like this.

those were my thoughts before i went to therapy slay for 3/6

[bitegore]

"can you stop blaming transmascs and afab enbies for the idea of being nonbinary being an afab thing" well you see. this is not a stereotype that straight people created. most of them don't know what nonbinary people are. you gotta acknowledge at some point that if you're creating exclusionary spaces you are causing problems. and the nonbinary community is exclusionary as fuck to amab enbies. take some fucking responsibility

like it isn't your fault, personally, sure. But that doesn't mean that you get to pretend it's not something that comes from and is largely propagated inside this community.

also not for nothing the afab trans community in general has a ridiculously massive issue with being transmisogynistic as fuck (while simultaneously putting the ''''''good'''''' trans women up on pedestals until they show signs of being human people who make mistakes) and this whole take just... idk man.

individual enbies are not the cause of transmisogyny in the nonbinary space but if you are an afab enby... consider.... you MAY be transmisogynistic! and if you hate hearing people talk about the way it's hard for amab enbies to be nonbinary in this community because you feel blamed, it may be because you are transmisogynistic! i get that unlearning bigoted ideas is haaaard and scaaaary but like. stop. if you're old enough to be making discourse posts you're old enough to learn to not be a douche

[wavesmp3]

tagged by @tidalstorm tbh i’m not sure i did this right but it was still fun to do tagging @kyeomshine @secndlife @vernosaur @queenoats (choco lets ignore the fact that we’re technically not mutuals on this blog ssdnvks but i thought this tag game was cute and thought of u lol)

(soft!)

baby pink | iridescent | glitter is always a good option | no bra | minimalistic tattoos | cherry patterns | sweet scented perfumes | wearing generous amounts of blush | doodling hearts | getting excited to pet an animal | fun nails | rewatching old barbie movies | hair sticking to glossed lips | heart shaped sunglasses | taking pictures of the sunset or sunrise | stuffed animals | protecting nature | stickers everywhere | teen movies | the light rain that falls from a clear sky at the beginning of the night |

(dark academia!)

neutral tones | masculine outfits | studying languages | worn down copy of books | grey skies | turtleneck sweaters | loose fitting pants | hair tied with a silk ribbon | trying to remember a cool difficult word you read somewhere to use in a convo | thick belts | minimal makeup | windows fogged by rain | vintage jewelry | blouses with cuffed sleeves | reading a murder mystery and trying to solve it | oxford style shoes | sweater vests | subtitled old movies in a language you don’t speak | leaves crackling as you walk | annotating books to express your emotions about the story |

(edgy!)

closet full of dark clothes | fishnet tights | makeup sweating off | neon signs | searching for unknown songs | chokers | band tees | doodling on old converses | finding smoking aesthetically pleasing but not doing it | weird humor | accidentally very dramatic | dim lights | layered outfits | chain belts | chipped nail polish | messy hair | low quality pics | piercings | combat boots | scribbling on desks |

(seventies!)

colourful wardrobe | doodling flowers | wearing short shorts | using a bikini top or bra as a normal top | listening to ABBA | flowers in your hair | DIYing everything | jamming to songs alone in your room | drunkenly telling your friends you love them | patterned bandanas | mid heeled shoes | messy braids | flared sleeves | walking barefoot on grass or sand | bold sunglasses | the good kind of tired you get after doing something you enjoy for hours | feeding stray animals | fun patterned socks | room decorated with succulents and other plants | likes to go roller skating or skateboarding |

(preppy casual!)

collared clothes | drinking juice out of a champagne glass | getting excited to see the met gala looks | thick headbands | small pastel cardigans | making your friends take your ootd pics | plaid mini skirts | tweed two pieces | watching reality tv to pass time | frilly tops | watching old hollywood movies | academically driven | long manicured nails | new year’s eve fireworks | colorful tights | layered golden jewelry | yearns for luxury brand items | decorating your room with fairy-lights | cursive and neat handwriting | lace details

(tidalstorm!)

fashion!baby | the perpetual but adolescent itch of rebelling | jawline | perfectionist | impulsive hair colouring | weird handwriting | the sound of crashing waves and an acute smell of sea salt at night | cramming | fast learner | rumbling thunder in the distance, rain plopping down against cobblestones | inner child, frequently nostalgic | good singer. | spicy food enthusiast. | chokers + dainty neckpieces | multiple piercings | messy, not at all a planner, big fan of spontaneity | anger that you sense budding under your fingertips, buzzing up to the cavity of your heart. | the feeling of wind hitting your face with the car roof pulled down. | cuddly. | paying attention to details + colour. | little spoon. | astrology! | a cycle of reading relentlessly + not reading for 7 months straight. | has to win at all games. | art enthusiast | looks androgynous. | silent strangers listening absently to the train skidding against its tracks | music pouring out of your ear buds, a cold hand buried inside your trench coat while you find yourself thinking about something you long for. | laughing until your belly aches. | dark nails. | sleeping with your glasses on. | introverted. | taciturn. | having long conversations with children. | chubby animals

(wavesmp3!)

summer storms | coffee in the mornings | tea in the afternoons | a silence enthusiast | enjoys being alone | getting books but never reading them | dissolving to music | sticking heads out of a sunroof | sitting on the beach but never getting in the water | watching the same three sitcoms | dancing in front of a mirror | blasting music while driving | uses peace signs constantly | ‘ahaha’ | always using a blanket | constantly writing in my head | raging sweet tooth | coca-cola lover | funniest person i know | can not fathom being in love | doesn’t believe in the concept of one best friend | verified hoe for april ludgate | dancer | always having an eyelash in your eye | yearning for the sea | downplays intelligence | craves admiration and praise | a secure person | no makeup | never wears jewelry but loves it | hoodies | thinks forehead kisses are the purest form of intimacy but hates physical contact | ripped jeans | scrunchies | good student | teachers pet | lazy | 🤪 emoji’s number one user | and s’mores pop tarts.

[comradegeorge]

For me as a dnf truther, it's not really about the individual moments but the accumulation of everything. It's kinda like I had a dnf meter that slowly filled up over time and then, after one moment too many, it exploded into truther goggles.

Part of it is just how differently they treat each other compared to everyone else. I mean, there are a lot of things d&g have done and behaviors they exhibit that aren't unique to how they treat their other friends (though there definitely are some things that are unique to just them). But, to use my previous analogy, the meter between them compared to the meters they have with their other friends is vastly different—d&g's meter is far more filled. Does that make sense? They tick off too many boxes. It's like... Dream may do so-and-so with Sapnap, not just with George, but Dream also does x, y, and z with only George and never with Sapnap. Or: George does x with Dream and Quackity, y with Dream and Sapnap, and z with Dream and Callahan, and the common denominator between all those things is Dream. (Not listing specific examples because my point is quantity, but by "x, y, and z" I mean things that can just be taken as homiesexual moments, but can also be seen as possibly romantic depending on circumstances)

Idk I hope this makes sense. I'm sick and kind of delirious right now so I'm probably going to regret typing this later, but... different perspectives are always interesting and your takes are always very well-put even when I don't agree with them, so I am curious to hear your thoughts.

i totally get that !! dream n george are pretty mutually obsessed, whether that comes from a place of romance or a very strong platonic friendship. ig from my perspective i lean more towards the latter because my own closest friendships are the same, Special Person type vibes? while also never developing romantic feelings for each other. i've always thought that the only thing that Really separates platonic from romantic feelings is the actual. romantic attraction. and not necessarily who u prioritize or who u would rather spend time with or even who u see urself spending the rest of ur life with (which i acknowledge might not be a common definition lol), so although i think dnf have a unique friendship, i've never /rly/ thought it was /r.

and i also !!! think it's fun to see different perspectives (especially if ppl dont agree tbh) bc we all perceive things differently due to our varying circumstances and experiences, but ultimately we're all really just seeing all this (a few hours of sometimes edited, sometimes reaction-fueled content) through a screen, and the only ppl who will ever truly know if there's any truth to the jokes or the pandering r dnf themselves ^-^

[peachpitmp3]

hey i mean you want to talk about how long it took for me to answer this? because the answer is. too long. for absolutely no reason i'm so sorry

!!!! you should that would be so iconic of you tbh. if you do decide to Embark on an Artistic Journey, please send/post update pictures i love art dude. so much.

FHSKDLFJKSLDJF YOUR LIFE OR THEIRS. amazing joke i remember this !!! from the time i read half of this and promptly got distracted,, i'm sorry. looking at this, it's not even that long?? of a thing to answer??

YEAHHH people always say that audiobooks are great if you have trouble focusing on paper books or are busy and stuff and i Do Not Understand

!!!!! yes. this. that sounds wonderful and heck yeah! ideal house will trap you there forever but dw because it's voluntary and so nice <3

SUDOFIJSDKX AMAZING. bro i wish you were in my closet (in the least weird way possible i just. want to meet you irl) but !!! that's very swag. thievery <3 /hj but nonetheless that sounds like a very cool shirt.

mhmm i get you. i think the sheer amount of People being People would be too much, although it would be super cool to see a live concert performance thing,, yeehaw anywhoodles. !!! YEAH YEAH YEAH you've gotten me hooked on august is a fever lmao. a friend told me about motion sickness a little while ago and !! yes. very much agree.

ooh hm. i'd say operate by vesperteen and trying not to cry by cavetown (but. only the version on youtube. the spotify one's more electo-funky which is cool! but not exactly my vibe and it doesn't hit Nearly As Hard yknow)

!!! the little fuzzy gray willow bulb things. idk what they're called but they're so sOFT and wonderful. miss the most? probably being in person and at school with all my old friends. and i miss being good at school, which sounds all kinds of stuck-up but i think this might be my gifted child burnout year and Yikes. i miss,, i miss not worrying so much about gender. that's a lot of things but y eah.

i'm afraid that i'll drop my phone through the gap between the elevator car and the floor landing, because it'll just what. drop to the basement?? never be seen again?? and it looks like it could fit my phone but i can't be sure and i certainly don't want to test that theory shdfjskdl. something deep uhhh. i'm afraid that i'm lost in the sense of "everyone else knows what they want and i don't", or i'm afraid that i'm so wrapped up in myself and my thoughts that i just become. really goddamn stupid. idk dude i'm afraid of a lot of things usedhfjk

something mundane and something deep you're afraid of? what's something small that gets you excited? least favorite thing to receive as a gift? what color palette do you use on tumblr dot com? - 🌵

no literally and now i'VE taken forever to answer so i think. i think we're even. shfsdjfsdfkjsldfjslf

ahhh ok ok i have been doing random doodles in my notebooks and stuff so i will maybe spam u sometime!!

SDFJSLDFJSLFJ i wish u were in my closet too <333

oooh i will queue both of those songs rn and they will play while i answer the rest of this!! ill let u know what i think :D

okay update my wifi is out so i cant listen to them but I WILL LATER!!!

no no i also miss being good in school. switching from gifted kid to gifted kid burnt out stuff is literally the worst feeling im so sorry </33 also yeah gender... yeah

okay actually that is such a mood tho because i also have no idea what i want to do with anything and it feels like everyone around me is starting to figure it out and i just don't know

something mundane is probably just. bees. i am so fucking scared of bees every kind of bee even the ones ppl say are harmless. i legitimately get panic attacks sometimes and i just. can't do it. and ppl get ?? mad at me for this ??? theyre like oh but bees dont even wanna hurt u :( like okay im not trying to make them extinct im just saying i can't be around them without hyperventilating. thanks.

something deep.... definitely that my perception of myself is just 100% incorrect. i'm terrified that i've just completely misjudged myself and i'm nowhere near as self aware as i think, and that i'm nothing like how i've interpreted myself to be.

something small that gets me excited is for sure just going on my phone after a few hours of not being on it and seeing messages from friends. like. good morning messages or things sent while i was in class. things like that make me feel so <3333 like oh !! people think of me people like me that is so <3

least favorite thing to receive as a gift is for sure expensive things. i havent really received any but i just don't want to ?? like i would lose them really easily and for me theyre just objects so i wouldnt feel extra grateful?? idk. that doesn't make sense. but like for example someone gave me a super fancy pen for my birthday and like. okay thanks but it's just a pen?? i like normal cheap pens better sghsjdfsjf

dark mode dark mode dark mode !! might switch it to a halloween one tho for spooky season <3 probably not tho

what color palette are you on? whats your least favorite thing to receive as a gift? do you make wishlists for things? do you like floral patterns? what's something that made you angry today/recently? what's something that made you really happy?

[misterbitches]

some thots. having a bad time so this is rougher than usual. oh well

....

i guess he really does know hiim best cos if that was my mans (man specifically cos if anyone else did that id take it more srsly) i would be like oh my god ur singing me a love song? i would love it but i woudl SCREAM in embarrassment. UNLESS it was a really deep love song that's about us dying together.

like i want to eat ur skin type of thing (drain u nirvana) lmaoa but i really like this song it reminds me of that velvet underground song (the only one i know cos of juno lmao) and nico or whatever 'i'm sticking with you)

my adhd would be out of fucking control i had to spend my time listening to this looking around i kept getting distracted by a tissue and thinking "wow this song is nice but i wish it would end bc i am getting distracted" and lo and behold i paused it and i have to pee and i know it's gonna take forever to undo this

ok about 12m later i turned it back on and they kissed and then he bit the corn then that night li chen also lost his virgin teas after watching gay porn and being like "hm interesting" and he'll be like "i see, ur dick is not medium sized"

i'm honestly gagging i cannot at this 12 year old marrying his mom

beautiful theyre beautiful

ayea you fucking psycho we do too because he was 17 and we had to witness it (or well, other people did cos i didnt watch the show even tho wayne song is [BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEP] and i want him to [BEEEEEEEP] and ppl even liked it which is fine like i get it in theory but they put this in my eyeballs so i'm gonna make fun of it bc it's fuckin DUMB lmao like i can't I CANNOT and he said "u were so persistent" BITCH UR 30??!?!???!?!?!?)capi hve it on mute and i tried to get a screencap of li chen and mu ren like together and not just his face but i cant find the timestamp and seeing their faces as they get married is literalyl traumattizing i'm like scremaing at my screen going "HE'S 5 HE'S 5 HE'S 5" and every time theyre like "we acn live forever together" like no bitch ur bones rae creaking

also is the officiator white? if anyone knows why or if that's common i'd love to know more. EDIT: HE ISN'T I JUST THOUGHT HE LOOKED LIKE MOBY FROM THAT ANGLE

anyway here

i'm almost done with this fucking bullshit and i am in a really ould mood and usu they make it a bit better but imo it's kind of....annoying i guess balancing all these story elements and introducin gother couples (even in the periphery) since the story in itself can't focus. i feel like all in all the time spent with these two is a lot more limited and we get the feel for the rship because of their chemistry as actors, irl chemistry as friends and colleagues, and hopefully being happy and working on a good set. so it isn't the strength of the writing or production.

for some reason they get like less dynamic ways of being together which i think is part of their charm, they do things their own way, but the writers really should have substantiated this more. it's really just the way everyone in the show has managed to deliver these AWFUL story lines and production decisions (like seriously who the fuck was on costume? lighting?)

like maybe hot take but all the moments that are cringe and insane in the show are not pleasant, per se, because they aren't thought out clearly. so they're not a joy to watch in the normal sense but the actors are good enough to pull it off. i didn't cringe at the talks they had because it felt like actors like acting these lines out instead of us being embarrassed for it and you CAN TELL theyre embarrassed.

this is a huge kudos to the casting director and the actors and whatever crew that actually did a good job. i don't particularly like watching bo xiang and his grandfather husband not because of the content but because i feel like, to me, they're so awkward even though they have chemistry. i don't have that issue with xing si and his rapist brother boyfriend because watching them is actually really pleasant, it's intimate. this isn't to do with the story though because when it hits you how devoid this other person is and how stupid the situation is it changes (for me, for me, for me, this is all my opinion think whateverrrr u want im not telling u 2 ok!)

so truly kudos to this cast. idk if i'm misremembering here but imo the most cast appropriate series in this was crossing the line and close to you. one is a decent atmosphere and execution (yes even with that brother story line, notice the major key differences though because that's a sincere false equivalence. they try to execute power imbalances soooo badly and then fail every time but here's one meant to shock too and it was just likelmao ok girl?)

it may not make sense to say either in a writing way or for the character to do it but i believe that whoever the characters these people are supposed to be especially those super not well written on the page still get that message aacross (yong jie's actor is a good ex. not sure if i should ccongratulate him for having the worst job on earth and the worst character and his character is flat but. ostensibly they should let their actions speak for themselevs but what they do is they back themselves into a ccorner with unsuretyabout their characters or a dilemma that pops up they just want to excuse it. well guess hwat u couldnt do enough legwork. but to some extent the disposable side couple works here on a um "our eyes see them and get it" way

also to me it seems like they chose this story just to have this specific wedding. like it's a timely topic and i'm pretty sure like another provision? (correction? idk) was made WRT taiwanese same-sex marriage so it's topical but it isn't like a "papa and daddy" situation where they're interacting in it and there (for ex: the pride parade) and there being like real life terms and consequences. here it seems like they were like ah yes wedding ah yes dumb couple from modc bc we kiled off the other one sooooo (then outsource them to life love on the line u__u) then hamfisting in some fucking message which is funny bc

- despite the hints peppered in and the clear attraction they both acknowledge ur like ~not gay just him~ even tho...i mean i just. again they dont read over what they write i don't think considering. but wahtever.

- the only gay dude (verbally said) is with his rapist brother with an awful power dynamic oh or IS a rapist (gao) (or his brother but i think it was just a "im a psycho so it's him" thing unless they said it. in which case idc cos i wasnt paying attn but that's also not great) or i guess the wedding but like....that's also a ridiculously inappropriate and dumb relationship taht it's built on. i mean i don't really see much respect her so i dont particularly want to hear abt gay weddings being important when they didn't even utilize it in the story beforehand and have we ever. this is a huge indication to me that it was a reverse engineered chosen story beforehand (if it was one) or thought of

soooooo

so reversal of that....it didnt give us enough time to breathe with these two at all but for both of the actors they can capitalize what's on the page and the writers didn't. like their dynamic is very i give/you give like taking car eof each other etc that's why

again, no artist worth their salt will ever say their work meant nothing. that's a cover up. i'm sick of lazy production and then getting away with it claiming being subversive or attacking an issue by not doing anything. we show crazy shit all the time but it has a POINT and ur point is "i like the gays" then girl.....i mean it's not great

but the acting really carried it. i have a feeling if this series continues it might continue to use more experienced actors cos maybe the budget goes up but they also have less inhibitions now when it comes to acting. i like the way li chen expresss himself and teng teng too. i like anson a lot and there's some angles that did not do any favors and i think eh has to get more control of his body movements (bc he's SO LARGE and thin) but he wasn't bad at all and there were real human tears. of course i, personally, favor charles tu. he has more control over his body because he has...less to work with and he's a bit bigger and he was really great in this role. he's a himbo a bit of a meathead but you like him. you like them. there's some things i think they had them say and do that they wouldn't let happen if they stuck to the characters and the story (mainly liking that dumb idiot rapist)

what i notice is that the reprehensible actions people criticize others for in the show and in real human life lalways gets turned around. teng teng being surprised that this boy's grandfather boyfriend met him when he was a junior in high school and he's 12 years older and him apologizing for being shocked and then whatshisface going "ur better at it than most people" and then the convo about gao with whatshisface and then rapist brother comes to pick him up. they are admonishing gao but thinking that rapist brother is noble for doin gwhat he did (and oh rapist brother shows up) like the hypocrisy and the decisions are immense. so now it's like "guys see he's a great guy" like girl STICK TO SOMETHING but whatever so i live in this universe where muren and li chen do everything right and have lots of different interesting fun seex with all their friends. i would write this but i cannot i am dying

[sickficsforthesoul]

here's a prompt ?(or whateverits called): not a request ! also  ، ¿ ¡ ૮₍ 𖦹 ˕ ×` ₎ა ! ?·＊·  anon or 🧛🏻‍♀️ anon(emoji form) .  : the sickie hates today so much. they had to go to school bc it was a important practice match they had to be in. but they got a stomach bug yay! good 4 them !! they woke up feeling like shit , they knew they were sick. they wanted to stay in bed . praying to any god that they weren't gonna be sick. they fell asleep again saying just to rest for a few more minutes (well it ended up being 30 minutes ) now they only had 30 minutes to get to school, they knew they actually had to wake up. running out of bed to get there clothes and change as fast as they could (they dont shower in the morning and they were to lazy to brush their teeth) rushing out of bed that fast made them all dizzy . great . now they're stomach hurts. yep they were gonna vomit. they knew they couldn't make it to the bathroom . so they found a place that could store it , they rushed finding something in their room . they searched their desk. feeling the vomit rising up. shutting their mouth bc they dont want their desk getting vomit on it. it was so strong it went in their nose. they couldnt hold it in anymore. throwing up in their desk  wetting all the papers. homeworks . they were gonna get in trouble at school. they had no hw anymore . well they were gonna be late to practice if they cleaned it up.so they ignored it. gagging at the smell of it. they finally finished their daily routine . they skipped breakfast (just like most of the times). they grabbed a mask and went to school . playing games on their phone to distract themselves.  sadly that didnt work . they got all dizzy , they put their phone. feeling too dizzy they nearly tripped . they countied waking to school. remembering they only had 5 minutes left they had to continue walking faster. they started running. while running they were thinking abt how they got sick. :: I prob  got sick from some1 in my class. yeah. they threw up in the classroom and they sat near me. they were probably coughing alot.. ew.. :: they arrived at school. going into the volleyball ball gym changing room. no1 was there . they were probably practicing.  suddenly they felt their stomach growl. it hurts so much. why today they ask. they wrapped their arms around them and it hurts so bad. when it kinda stop they had the courage to change into their volleyball club uniform and go to the gym. while walking there they started coughing.having a coughing fit made every1 look at them . they hated that . they really dont like  being the center of attention.  some1 from their team asked "hey you ok?" they just said yeah. the coach said to run 4 laps around the gym. uh how much they hated running. they only did 1 and a half.(END PT 1) they couldn't handle 4 laps. while some1 was running they saw them hiding (so no1 can see them slacking off) they asked "um?? what's wrong ? ud probably get in trouble if coach finds out.  I'm already on my 3rd lap . ig in  3 mins its over. r u just gonna stay here? and also if u act like this it the match . you'll get in big trouble. they just said "ok". when the coach said ok! they went back in the gym and prepared the net. they started a sneezing fit which caught som1 to give them tissue. they eventually stopped . they're nose is so stuffy they can barely breathe.  they really want 1 more tissue but they don't have any , they ended up using their arm as a tissue. well atleast only 1 person saw. every1 was practicing.  it was gonna end it 10 mins . they're shocked how they went so far. when they setted the ball they suddenly felt they're stomach grumble. they cant just suddenly go to the bathroom.  they had to wait. uh they started feeling nauseous and they silently stared gagging.  then came the wet coughs , they could feel the vomit loudly.  end . pt1

(contin.) they had to fake spike? idk . they didnt have the power to do so. obviously they looked like they were faking it. they're team lost, they honestly didnt care . then some1 hit then on their back saying to,work hard. some vomit came up . they swallowed it . they thought it tasted so bad. they started coughing really loudly.  every1 was looking (they had to rush to the bathroom but since every1 was looking they didn't want to make a scene so they didnt ) they waited till every1 wrnt to they changing room /club room.  finally every1 besides 1 person who was a benched player went to the toilet . oh no. they cant wait that there was vomit coming up they wanted to wait for at least 2 mins , but they couldn't only 36 seconds.  they started to vomit .  in their hands . dripping on the gyms floor. they couldn't make it into a stall so they threw up in the bathroom floor. threw up already half of what they had. they heard the doors unlocking from the bathroom (it was the benched player) they rushed into a stall so he couldn't see them  . they walked out and saw vomit.  they didnt care , they walked out like nothing happened. they were still vomiting , they didn't have enough strength to propt themselves up to puke inside the toilet,  they just ended  up throwing up on the floor . they thought they were done after dry heaving for 2 minutes.  getting up to go to the changing room to change into their uniform.  they didnt tie their tie properly but they dont care. going into their classroom late. like 10 minutes late. they got scolded for wearing their tie wrong and being late.also not bringing hw. yay good for them this class they didnt do anything. so they just fell asleep /WITH THEIR MASK ON!// pt2done

while waiting they double bagged the plastic bags to prevent in from seeping thru. one the bus came. the sickie regretted going on already feeling dizzy once they sat down , they sat at the back where no1 sits (although that would make them more dizzer, but they didnt know that) after 5 minutes of the ride (there was some traffic. normally itd take 10 minutes. but since there is traffic they didnt how long they'd have to wait.) "[caretakers name]...while wet coughing.mm candy." they rushed to give the candy. it soothed their throat for 5 minutes until making them dizzy . lying down on the caretaker,while they play with their hair. they fell asleep. after 20 minutes (still in traffic) they woke up to the bus driving. they woke up and asked for water. they drank the water in small sips. they didnt vomit. the they drank it quickly before spitting it out. then coughing. they nearly threw up. swallowing it . asking while coughing for the 'bag'. they grabbed it and held on it and tried getting it out bc they were very nauseous. they couldn't. until the bus continued moving. they're grip to it was very weak. the bus suddenly moving made their stomach growl. and letting of their bag to hold on their stomach. the care taker asked "what's wrong ???? you let go... r u gonna ..." "no. stop.u will make me.stop.talking abt it"(they hated vomit so much thinking abt it makes them gag) the sickie was shaking. they messed up dropping the bag and it flew away. they caretaker getting their jacket just incase yk they vomit. after the bus stops again. a couple and a 2 ppl (4 alltogether)decided to sit in the back. their stomach hurts so much... they started crying. the bus started moving more . 2 more stops till their stop. they gagged. letting go of their hand on their face. "I'm gonna-" the caretaker getting the jacket and hugging the sickie to cover them . they threw up on the caretaker. the couple moved away in disgust whilst the 2 other ppl stayed. just on their phone. "ppl r looking...." "I want to leave.. " "''dont worry , no1 is looking'' the care taker grabbed their bag looking for a (idk the word but it's like a towel but not , you stick it on some1 face and it cools them down) they place it on the sickie. they sickie just dry heaving at this point. they said "sorry.." it's ok. - ¿ ¡ ૮₍ 𖦹 ˕ ×` ₎ა ! ? / 🧛🏻‍♀️ , which haikyuu character do you think this is? also very bad prompt :). again,not a request.

This sounds a lot like Kunimi to me, but I'm also getting Kita, Ennoshita, and Jin (Soekawa) from this. Maybe Yamaguchi too.

For Kunimi, his primary caretaker is the sweet but helpless Kindaichi. Kindaichi really means well, but he's terrible at taking care of sick people, so he just makes everything worse for Kunimi in the end. The rest of Seijoh ends up helping eventually, but it's just Kindaichi for a while, and he does not handle that well. Kunimi basically takes care of himself while Kindaichi stands in a corner muttering apologies. After this incident, Kindaichi resolves to be a better caretaker and starts doing research and taking first aid classes later on.

Kita's primary caretaker is Aran. He's much more competent than Kindaichi and takes good care of Kita for as long as the captain needs it. There isn't much to say after the incident because Aran handles everything so well.

Ennoshita is stuck with the other benched 2nd years (Kinoshita and Narita). They're okay caregivers but nothing special. Ennoshita is the most nurturing of their trio, and with him out of commission, Kinoshita and Narita do their best to help their friend. Ennoshita still has to do some things for himself, but Kinoshita and Narita can at least know the basics of taking care of someone, so Ennoshita still has it better than Kunimi.

Jin gets two caretakers too because why not. His caretakers are Reon and Semi. Both are very experienced with taking care of others and are the unofficial team parents, so Jin has it very good. He recovers pretty quickly thanks to the excellent care he receives from Semi and Reon.

Yamaguchi's primary caretaker is obviously Tsukishima. Daichi and Suga try to help too, but Yamaguchi gets panicked by anyone who isn't Tsuki, so Tsuki has to deal with basically everything. Tsuki also ends up calling Akiteru for help because he's just so out of his depth caring for another person. Akiteru, on the other hand, took care of Tsuki for years and is a wonderful caregiver. Yamaguchi recovers well with the comforting presence of his best friend and the lovely caretaking of Akiteru.