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#I'm sorry it's long! but I have a lot of feelings
natailiatulls07 · 1 day
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New wag in the paddock
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Summary - Being the newest wag in the paddock can be quite daunting but with the right people around you, it's all okay
Warning - None <3
A/n - Slowly easing back into writing?? We'll see lol
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Walking into the paddock with beyond nerve racking, with photographers just inside of the entrance and fans just outside of the entrance - I had no where to hide or breathe.
Luckily walking alongside me with Rebecca Donaldson, Carlos' partner. Because of our partners friendship, we were close friends. She had become someone who'd help me and become like a sister to me in the paddock and even beyond.
This morning particularly she had come over to mine and Landos suite to help me get ready for my first paddock day just after him and Carlos had left. Helping with picking out a gorgeous dress, helping with my makeup and also my hair. Like my own fairy godmother in a way.
'Wow there's a lot of people here...' I whisper in her direction, my eyes took in the busyness of a Sunday morning race day paddock. Next to me, I feel her laugh - She's used to this.
With a soft nod and a slip of an arm round my back, Rebecca is quick to reply. 'Yep it's a race day in Miami, you'll get used to it...' I feel her gently pushing me along, prompiting me not to run back out and go back to the safety of the hotel.
-
It wasn't long before she dropped me off at the McLaren hospitality. Wishing me good luck with a hug and a warm smile before I stand pathically watching her leave me to defend for myself - Almost like a child would whilst being dropped off for their first day of school. In a sense, it was exactly that; I had been dropped off and know expected to make friends until someone I knew would come and safe me.
I breathe in, turn on my heel and walk quietly into the McLaren hospitality. Inside it's modern and high tech, obviously very well thought out. There are multiple seating areas, some small groups accompanying a couple. I can smell fresh coffee as I walk over to a small sofa, sitting there anxiously.
Opening my phone, I can already see multiple notification from various social platforms. I hazard a guess that they are mostly all gossip sites tagging me in their posts.
But one notification stands out to me.
It's on instagram, informing me that I've been added to a groupchat. More specifically a groupchat for the f1 wags. My heart warms at their consideration and kindness, so this is what it feels like to be in a big friendship group of girls.
Soon a few messages start to load into the chat;
lilymhe - Heyyy Y/n! Welcome to the group, this is a safe space for you always xx
francisca.cgomes - Yeah all the girls are in this group so we all gossip, vent and help out in here! Girls support girls obv <3
carmenmmundt - Hi sweetheart!
kellypiquet - Literally if you need anything, send a quick message here and we'll help always x
alexandrasaintmleux - Babes I just saw the photos, you look STUNNING!!! <333
I don't even the big smile that forms on my lips, the feeling of acceptance heavy on my mind. Accidently I don't notice the person in front of me until I hear a soft cough. Looking up I recogise Lando trainer, Jon, stood waiting patiently with a small smile. I gasp at my oblivion. 'Oh my gosh, I'm sorry! You haven't been stood there long, gosh how oblivious can I get?' I nervously ramble.
I've only met him a hand full of times and to keep him waiting felt very rude of me. A soft chuckle escapes his lips as he shakes his head, prompting me to breathe out a sigh of relief.
'No don't worry, I came to get you cause you're boyfriend wants to see you before the race starts...' He explains, watching as I quickly gather my things - I don't want to keep him waiting any longer. 'Hey, no need to rush...' He chuckles, sensing my nerves. It'd be hard not to.
Notable I slow down, no longer rushing to collect myself. I let out a soft sigh, a smile screwing itself onto my lips. And once I have everything, I let Jon lead the way through to Landos garage.
As soon as we walk into the garage, my eyes are immediately drawn to Lando who is stood talking to a few engineers. With his classic smile on his face, something I really do adore is watching as he talks about his job - He really does love it, possible more than me.
I stand there for a few seconds, not wanting to intrude on his conversation. Around me the team work around the garage, clearly buzzing with pre race excitement, nerves and preparation - Something Jon went along with when we arrived.
Then suddenly, I feel eyes on me and I notice Lando walking towards me enthusiastically. As soon as I am in arms reach, I feel his arms slip comfortably around my waist. 'Hi...' I smile, slipping my own arms around his neck. 'How are you doing?'
Lando takes a few seconds, just staring lovingly at me before smirking. 'Good, better now that you're here. How did this morning go? You and Rebecca get here alright?' He questioned, very grateful that I had someone to join this morning.
I nod keenly, moving on to explain about my morning as my hand start to play with some of his mullet. 'Oh I was added to the wag groupchat, they're all really nice people. They said that I can talk to them about anything and ask for advice you know. I've only really met Rebecca so they don't they even know me but they still like accept me, I thought that was the sweet thing ever...' Unintentionally I go onto ramble about the other wags befriending me, only really stopping when I notice his gaze and gentle warm smile. 'Sorry I'm rambling...'
Looking around us, I can see some engineers watching curiously. A mix of his gaze on me, my realization and the engineers watching all make me blush deeply. 'No it's okay...'
His british cuts through my thoughts, reassuring me. 'I'm really happy that you got them beside you, they know what you're going through a lot more than I will ever so that's great!' One of his hands moves up to caress my cheek lovingly.
A comfortable silence falls on us for a few seconds, before I speak up once again. 'So are you ready for the race today? Is the car good?' I ask, despite not really understanding the sport I'm desperate to learn through Lando.
He turns, watching as the engineers do their final preperations and work and nodding confidently. 'Yeah all good! I've got my good luck charm with me and the car is set to do magic today!' Even the way he explains everything, there is a lot of excitement in his voice. I nod, careful to take in all the information he's telling me.
Our conversation continues for a few more minutes before he's notified that he has to make a move to get the car out onto the track. Quick Lando turns back towards me, smiling and pulling me into a tender kiss. 'I love you! Wish me luck!'
I return the same energy and excitement. 'Good luck Lan! You've got this! I love you too!'
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 2 days
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Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part 7
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Summary: Your friend "date" with Jungkook is interesting but thankfully the events from this morning don't prevent you from having a good time. Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 3.8K (I'm sorry it's short but I wanted to get it out since it's been way too long) Warnings: No real warnings other than slightly jealous and possessive Jungkook (but we all know that's a good warning 🤭) a/n: It's been fucking four months I'm so sorry 😭 It's been so hard for me to update my series recently since my attention span literally sucks right now so one shots have been a lot easier to get out but hopefully some of you guys are still around to read this story 🥲 p.s. the last third of this isn't edited at all so please ignore any nonsense 😅
After Jungkook and I finally agree on an outfit for me to wear we head off to whatever mysterious location he's taking us to. 
"You gonna pout all the way there?" he teases, pointing out my crossed arms and legs and the fact that I haven't spoken to him since we left. "I told you I hate surprises" I grumble, the feeling of the unknown making me uncomfortable. 
"You've gotta live a little Darling" he teases and goes back to driving. He hands me his phone that's plugged into the aux as a sign for me to put on a playlist and that brings up my mood right away. He chuckles when he sees me put on my favorite song since he knows that music always lifts my spirits.
"You're never gonna get tired of this song are you?" he sighs, this being the twelfth time he's asked. "Nope" I answer, popping the 'p' at the end. "This song came out when you were two years old" he chuckles, trying to clue me in but I don't pay any mind to it. "All the more reason to like it!" I argue back and he shakes his head.
"Perfect Man by Shinhwa is a masterpiece and I will accept no arguments" I say, making my statement on the matter final. 
There's a quiet air that's hung between us for a couple moments before when both bust out laughing. "I swear we never fail to have the same conversation every time I play this song" I point out and he smiles.
"That's because I love watching you defend something with your whole being. It's cute" he says and my throat gets dry. 
This being the first semi flirty comment he's thrown at me since everything happened. Well, besides commenting on how I look because who wants to be told nothing after putting on a cute outfit, even when he's the one who's chosen it. 
His comments have been nothing but respectful so there's no harm in letting him do as he pleases but it's just making this whole friends ordeal a lot harder.
~~~~~~
As we pull up to the place he had kept a secret from me I realize why he had me wear this specific outfit since from the looks of it we've come to some sort of ropes course. 
"I've never been to one of these" I say, marveling at the zip lines, ropes, ladders and pulley systems that are strewn about this forested area.
"Do you wanna give it a try? We can always just go to the restaurant they have here but I thought I would still offer it since I told you I had something fun planned for us" he offers, leaving the choice up to me but I nod my head immediately, really wanting to try it out. 
"Yeah?" he chuckles when he sees my excitement grow. "Yes! Come on let's go!" I say, grabbing his hand and trying to drag him along.
"Wait a second Bunny" he chuckles, holding me back and I watch him as he opens the trunk and grabs a big hoodie for me to wear. "So we don't mess up that pretty little top you're wearing" he says and the playfulness around the statement making my heart skip a beat. 
"I could've brought my own" I say but he shakes his head in protest. "It's easier this way so you don't have to worry about it getting dirty, now arms up" he says and I furrow my brow. "Jungkook I can put it on myself" I laugh but he doesn't find it amusing. "I know, arms up" he orders and I do as he says, laughing at the no doubt comical sight of him struggling with it. 
"You know now that I think about it it's a lot easier to take your clothes off than it is to put them on" he casually says, making me wack him in the arm once the hoodie is on properly. "Friends Jungkook. Or I can go back to calling you Mr. Jeon" I say with an arched brow and he chuckles. "Friends" he agrees and closes the trunk.
"So can we go now?" I ask, glancing over at the course before looking back to him for approval. "Yes Bunny go ahead" he says, giving me the go ahead and following after me as I make a bee line for the equipment room. 
"Hi!" I say excitedly to the guy at the counter when it's my turn to check us in. "Hey, first time?" he chuckles, me looking around at everything with a childlike wonder in my eyes. "Yeah! I honestly didn't even know a place like this existed around here" I admit, Jungkook again taking me to a place I had never been before. 
I guess he really is determined to take all of my firsts. 
"Well I hope you'll come around more often then, there's a whole lot more to experience than just these ropes" he says and in my awestruck state I don't notice the suggestive tone behind his wording. 
"You find something you like?" he asks, my sight going past him and looking at all the harnesses. "I have a friend that's coming in a second so do you think you could get us two?" I ask while pointing at them. 
"Sure, is your friend as pretty as you are?" he asks and before I can even think of a response someone is interrupting our conversation. "I would think so" I hear a deep voice say behind me, his hand placed on my hip in a slight possessive manner making my breath hitch. 
The boy's eyes widen a bit, looking at the dynamic between the two of us and doesn't exactly know what to make of it and decides to go find harnesses for the both of us. 
"What was that?" I ask, whipping around and glaring up at him. "What? We agree to be friends for a little while and suddenly you're ready to jump ship?" Jungkook says, crossing his arms and watching as the boy not so casually glances over at us. 
"He was just being friendly" I scoff, knowing for a fact that he wasn't but playing into this oblivious act I had accidentally fallen into. "Right...friendly" he says in a monotone, not wanting to get into a senseless argument and taking the high road. I don't miss the way his hand balls into a fist for a second before relaxing it once I've decided to drag him over to look at the little souvenirs they have in the shop. 
"Alright here's a harness for you, and one for you sir." the employee says, a flirtatious tone in his voice when he addresses me and a more strict and professional voice when he addresses Jungkook. 
"Did you want some help putting that on?" the boy asks, clearly just taking it as a chance to get closer to me since Jungkook's slight display of possessiveness of me wasn't a big enough clue that we may...or may not be together. "Oh no that's okay, I'm sure you've got other things to do" I deny, stepping into it on my own and in true y/n fashion I end up tripping over one of the straps. 
"Careful Darling" Jungkook says, steadying me on my feet and when I look back over at the boy he's awkwardly frozen with his arms out, having intended to help me but decided against it since he was smart enough to realize that it might not be the smartest idea. 
I look between the boy and Jungkook and see how Jungkook hasn't stopped glaring at him no matter how uncomfortable the boy is. "Looks like you've got other customers to help" Jungkook says, nodding towards the people at the counter, clearly looking to check in just as we did. 
"Right, well let me know if you need anything" he responds, his focus completely on me as he relays his message. "I will" Jungkook jumps in and the boy nervously glances between the two of us before heading over to the counter and helping the group of four that just came in. 
"Was that really necessary?" I ask, my arms crossed over my chest as Jungkook tightens the harness on me, making sure I won't need any 'help' with it later. "He was trying way too hard and he clearly couldn't get a clue about us" he says, his glare still prevalent in his direction. 
"Jungkook there isn't an 'us' right now okay" I say and he sighs. "Keep on telling yourself that" he mumbles quite enough that I couldn't make it out when another crowd comes in. "What was that?" I ask but he quickly brushes it off and herds me out of the store before it gets even more crowded. 
As we wait for the group to now gather in the waiting area outside neither of us have spoken a word to each other, stealing glances every so often since we just can't help it. We're attracted to each other and from my point of view I don't think that's gonna change anytime soon. 
"Alright everyone can I get you all gathered over here?" that same guy from inside the shop calls out and we all do as he says with Jungkook cursing under his breath. "Fucking fantastic, he's our leader" he grumbles but I grab him by the arm and drag him so we can catch up with the group. 
"Come on I thought you said this was supposed to be fun" I say and he sighs, collecting himself and slowly changing his attitude. "Alright I'm sorry Darling" he says, not dragging his feet or sulking anymore and putting that nonsensical jealously out of his head...at least for right now. 
"Alright welcome welcome everyone to BranchBound Adventures! How's everyone doing today?" he asks and we all let out cheers of excitement but what I don't notice is the way that Jungkook looks at me with a soft smile when he realizes again how much I'm loving this already. He takes a mental note to bring me here again soon so he can watch that same childlike excitement bloom again. 
"Excellent, looks like we've got a fun group here today! Well my name is Jayson and this is Kimberly and we're gonna be your BranchBound Buddies, sound good?" he says and I can't ignore the way Jungkook snorts at the title they've been given but it's only loud enough for me to hear thankfully. 
"Behave!" I scold, not wanting to turn this into some sort of immaturity contest when he knows damn well he's a grown ass adult and he should not be acting like this. He holds his hands up in surrender when he sees my glare but can't help but smirk at the fact that Jayson as we've recently found out his name is watching our exchange. 
As the day goes by and we're close to the end of our little ropes course adventure Jayson decides it's now or never and decides to make another move. 
"You've done a great job today! Didn't know you would be so good with ropes" he says, not hiding the fact that he's probably imagining using these ropes on me in a completely different context. "Yeah I didn't know I would be either" I chuckle and look over and see Jungkook glaring daggers into Jayson's forehead while he hooks me up to the zip line.
"Did you want to go nice and slow or fast?" he asks, his eyes drinking me in but I don't pay him any mind as I just watch the way that Jungkook is reacting to our exchange. "Y/n?" Jayson asks, breaking me out of the trance I had been lost in, thinking about what Jungkook would do to me after this if we were together. 
"Sorry what?" I ask and I can tell that he's pretty much starting to get the memo at this point. "Nothing, just tuck your legs in close to you if you want to go faster" he explains and I nod my head and wait while Jungkook gets hooked up to the other line thats parallel to mine. 
"Wanna race?" I challenge him since I know he would never back down from one. "What do I get if I win?" he says with a smirk.
"Whatever you want..." I say nervously and I have a feeling I'm going to regret that. "...but I want ice cream if I win!" I say to wipe away the tension but he brings it right back with his claim if he wins.
"I want a kiss" he says and when he clearly sees the way that I'm gearing up to protest a simple cock of his brow silences that. "You said that I could have anything I want right?" he asks I sigh and nod, my energy to go back on my word dissipating. 
It's just one kiss right?
"Deal" I agree and he can't hold back the smile and vote of confidence it gives him. "Get ready to lose" he says and before I have a chance to argue back Kimberly is counting us off and in my semi scattered state Jungkook takes off before me giving him a ten second head-start. 
"No fair!" I call after him when I'm finally able to catch up and he let's out a hearty laugh. "You're the one who proposed this whole race Bunny" he says making me look away, 'his timing with that nickname is always impeccable', I think to myself as I hide my blush.
"Hurry up!" I hear him call out as he is suddenly a lot further down the line than I am. "Hey!" I laugh, deciding to put that thought away to not sour my mood and just focus on there here and now. 
Once I finally get to the end Jungkook has already gotten unhooked from the zip line and is standing victorious waiting to claim his prize. 
"You only won because you're taller than me" I grumble as if I'm actually upset that he won when in fact the thought of him putting in effort just to kiss me make my heart beat faster. "I thought smaller things were supposed to be more aerodynamic" he teases in response but I huff and stand in front of him, clearly waiting for him to claim his reward. 
"I didn't say when I was going to kiss you" he teases and walks away and back toward the shop where we had first come from since our time is up. "Hey!" I protest again, not liking the slight embarrassment he caused me. 
"Oh come on you'll be okay" he teases as he takes his harness off and then helps me out of mine after. "Whatever" I huff and something behind me catches his eye and before I'm able to turn around he's knocking me off my feet and giving me a rather over exaggerated kiss if you ask me to the point that people are whistling and hyping us up.
I hit on his chest when I'm finally running out of air and he carefully puts me back on my feet and when I catch the sight of Jayson staring at us with an unreadable expression on his face I know now why he did that. 
"You're insufferable" I huff and fix my rumbled clothes from his breathless kiss but he doesn't seem bothered in the slightest. "Interesting response after receiving a kiss that made you blush but I'll take it" he shrugs and we both head back into the gift shop for the last time so Jungkook can no doubt flaunt the fact that from Jayson's point of view we're together. 
Honestly I could care less and I won't deny that it was hot as fuck watching him get angry with the very minimal interactions Jayson and I had but I won't let him have that satisfaction. "Didn't realize you were so insecure" I taunt and make sure his eyes are on me before I look over to where Jayson is still clearly watching us and give him a flirty wave goodbye with Jungkook hurrying to usher me out. 
"I wouldn't be insecure if you were mine already so until then you'll have to be patient with me" he says through gritted teeth, a reaction I was hoping for from that little stunt I pulled. "I can manage" I say and walk off towards the only restaurant here where I'm sure he was planning on taking me and when he follows me and has a hand placed low on my waist to guide me there my suspicions are confirmed. 
"Reservation for Jeon" he says to the host at the front desk and while he looks for it Jungkook's demeanor is a little softer, that soft maturity coming back from having us in a controlled and relaxed environment. "Right this way Mr and Mrs. Jeon" the host says and I practically choke on air at that, the title mistakenly given to me sending my heart into overdrive. 
"Don't worry she's fine, come on Honey" Jungkook reassures the waiter as Jungkook encourages me along to follow him to our table. 
Once we're seated our waiter comes by immediately to bring us water since I had clearly caused enough of a spectacle to garner a hurried solution for my coughing fit. He gives us our menus as well soon after and leaves us be, allowing me some more space to compose myself. 
Jungkook can't hide the smile he's had since my reaction had started and has turn slightly smug at seeing the blush it had caused me. "Shut up" I grumble and take another gulp of water having traded his glass for mind since I had practically drank mine in one go after that. 
"I didn't say anything" he chuckles leaving me glaring at him. "But your face did" I say after having put my almost empty glass back down on the table. "Oh yeah? And what is it saying now?" he asks, leaning forward as if he was giving me a better look at it. 
"It's saying that you're enjoying the fact that I'm still squirming over the thought of being called Mrs. Jeon" I say and he sits back, proud of my intuition. "Impressive Bunny. Better get used to it though" he says cockily and I narrow my eye at him and scoff. 
"You're pretty confident for someone I technically haven't agreed to date" I say but his smirk widens before throwing out a playful 'Yet' and our waiter is back at our table before I have a chance to argue back. 
After the waiter has taken our order and a little while after is bringing out our food our conversations have gone back to what had been seen as normal for us. A slight flirty edge to his words which I not so subtly glare at in response always making him chuckle but it's getting harder and harder for me to want to do that.
Why should I scold him? It's not like I don't want him too...
As we finish up the day with the ice cream I technically did not earn we start to make our way back to his car where he opens the door for me and make it a point to put on my seatbelt so I can still enjoy the cone I'm almost finished with. 
"Thanks Dad" I tease after he's buckled me in like a child and I'm granted a sarcastic smile in return only making me smile harder. He closes the door and gets in on his side and soon we're on our way back to the house...
~~~~~
The ride back is quiet, comfortable but quiet with the only sound being the hum of my playlist coming through the speaker and the gusts of cool air coming through the vents but it's soon broken by the question he's been wanting to ask. 
"Did you have fun?" it's a simple question but I know thoughts of what had happened earlier today are coming back to him as we get closer and closer to the house. "I did, a lot actually. You're not too shabby at planning dates" I confirm and he glances over with a smirk. 
"I thought this wasn't a date?" he counters and I chuckle. "It wasn't until you kissed me" I say and he shakes his head. "A kiss equals a date, got it" he says quietly, tucking that information into his back pocket and I can't help but smile as I see a soft one still rests on his lips. 
~~~~
When we finally pull into the driveway and he turns off the engine I hold onto his arm for a second, asking him to stay in the car for a second so he does and sits back and keeps his eyes on me, waiting for what I have to say.
The thing is is that I don't know what to say, I don't even know why I asked him to stay in here but he just watches me fondly, not rushing anything and waiting patiently for me. 
"I don't think we can be friends" I say, looking down at my lap so I can't see the expression he has on his face. "What do you mean by that Bunny?" he asks, that nickname making my heart skip a beat like it does every time and I shake my head, still looking down at my lap. "I mean, I don't wanna be friends" I say hoping he'll understand and when he lifts my chin I expect him to ask me to explain what I mean but instead I'm met with his lips on mine.
They're not full of passion or lust or anything of the sort. Just pure longing and understanding, understanding of the want to go about things at my own pace, an understanding that he's okay with going slow and that's all I need. 
"We can go slow" he says after we've broken the kiss, audibly confirming what he had physically displayed and I bite back a smile and nod before placing a soft kiss on his lips. 
"Thank you" I whisper and he pulls away to get a better look at me. "Whatever for?" he asks in such a cute way I can't help but laugh. "For not forcing me or making me feel bad about my indecision" I say and he smiles and cups my face, brushing his thumb along my cheekbone, a sad smile on his face at the thought of what I might've gone through with Jared that would require that sense of relief from his actions. 
"I'm sorry about this morning" I say even softer this time and he nods, "I know" and those two words bring me comfort in ways that he couldn't understand even if I told him.
I was scared shitless that I had messed things up, that I had done something that could've damaged us beyond repair but his words and actions from today told me nothing of the sort. 
His maturity shows that he knows what he wants and I want to open up and show him that in return...but I just hope I won't regret it.
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158 notes · View notes
theninthdoor · 2 days
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⭒˚。⋆ 🍓 pac || inside your crush's mind ⋆。゚☁︎。⋆ 🐞
𖦹 think of your crush, take 3 deep breaths and pick one of the piles below! lets see what is/was going through your person’s mind & if you have or ever had a chance with them. 𖦹 take only what resonates. if you feel like the pile you’ve initially picked doesn’t really apply to the person/situation you’re thinking of, it’s OK to pick another one. I'm also leaving some extra messages and keywords at the end of each reading. those may work as confirmation for some people, but if they don't mean anything to you, that doesn't mean that that's not your pile. what you should really take into account is the description I make of the person (your crush) in each pile, and that's how you will know if you have chosen the right or wrong one. please use your discernment. 𖦹 remember that this is all for entertainment purposes and that free will still exists. don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to, just because your person thinks this or that, ok? 𖦹 enjoy, my lovelies!
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Pile 1 || ☎️ cards: four of pentacles rx, death rx, knight of pentacles rx, judgement rx, the chariot
not you guys landing on the player's pile… omg So, yeah- Did you ever had a chance? For sure. Anyone would have a chance with this person, I feel like. This is someone who's either constantly in love or just can't stand being alone for too long. Maybe it's just their personality - being extroverted, a connection-seeker, always open to new relationships and whatever experiences come with it -, or perhaps they are simply that charming and the options never end for them. This does feel like someone who's very much a feeler, but maybe not the wisest or yet the most mature in general (or even the most emotionally available!!). For the most part, their relationships feel quite short lived, and mostly based on physical attraction. They may have had one or two longer ones, still (for some people in specific, it feels like your crush may have been in longer-term relationship that was very talked about and known about, and they may still be heavily associated with this ex of theirs). Now, when it comes to their thoughts and feelings towards you: I'm sorry to say it, but I just don't see them having cared or caring too much... They see you quite plainly (if they know you at all); you're just a friend, coworker or acquaintance. Yet, as I said, I feel like you'd definitely still be able to have a chance with them - all you would have to do is take that step towards them and get yourself noticed. Be confident about it! I think that's what attracts them the most to someone, actually: boldness. Flirt a little with them, and see where it leads you… It might not result in the most serious, stable or long lasting relationship of all time, but maybe you'll still get to have a good time together.
⋆ extra messages:
This totally feels straight out of a 2000s coming of age movie, or some rom-com set in high school, with your crush being the popular guy/girl everyone knows and is attracted to lol. Just thought I should add that in.
Milena. Mimi. Mario. Jet-black hair. Affluent neighbourhoods. Family business. Taking acting classes. Ankles/ankle bracelets. Big family event or gathering coming up soon (like a birthday, a wedding, some special holiday…). Talking about or someone's been worrying about frown lines recently. Jennifer. Janet. J surnames. Wearing a lot of orange lately, or having just bought a new orange clothing item. Ash. Ashley.
⋆ channeled song: The Bellamy Brothers - Let Your Love Flow
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Pile 2 || 💄 cards: page of wands rx, ten of pentacles rx, knight of pentacles rx, the hermit, seven of wands
So, my sweet pile 2, here we have someone who has, for sure, noticed you before! Seven of Wands + The Hermit at the bottom of the deck = this person would do anything to get to know you a little better and/or to spend more time with you. There's something about the way you are or carry yourself that makes you stand out from other people - or perhaps you're just your crush's type and that's why their eyes are on you... I don't get a whole lot of communication or movement coming from them, so even if they talk to you, it doesn't feel direct; they're not letting you know how they feel; they're not openly flirting with you. This person actually feels very much like a Virgo or Capricorn Moon; logical, careful, slow moving. Once you get them to come of their shell and finally they feel ready to say something, though, you can definitely expect them to be very direct about it. At first they study you, consider the potential of this connection, and then they decide if they should go for it or not. If they do come towards you then, they won't waste any time, again. They're saying, you know… "Hey, let's go out one of these days. I'd like to spend some time with you." or "I really like your vibe. Would you care to go on a date with me, sometime?". It's quite dry and lame actually lol. They're still not flirting, exactly. They're just putting it out there that they're interested and want to explore this connection - again, very direct and logical about the whole thing. (And their flirting skills may actually suck, btw…) In the meantime, they may get closer to you by asking you about your interests, by sitting nearby in class or at lunch, watching your ig stories or something like that. It's the small things, and they're gonna take their sweet time with this. It's not something they are losing their sleep over; it's a case they are studying.
⋆ extra messages:
Is anyone here working or studying in a scientific field? Science feels very relevant. Ron, Rob, R names. Lab coats. Law; rules and regulations. College towns. Planning (or planning on attending) a big Halloween party - and putting a lot of thought into this as of late. Wisconsin. Big 3 Libra placements. Glasgow. Glass working/art. Gallows. Gallows humour. G surnames.
⋆ channeled song: John Legend - All of Me
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Pile 3 || 🎧 cards: the chariot, four of swords rx, the magician, ten of swords, queen of wands, two of wands
Listen!!- Pile 3, please go for it!! Even if this doesn't last too long, I think there's great potential here for an absolutely amazing relationship/fling! The chemistry here is just insane… I don't know if it's this person themselves, or if it's actually the result of you two coming together, but I'm feeling HOT. I'm blushing. I'm excited. There's just so much passion here! I think this person is a smooth talker; not necessarily the most extroverted or talkative, but when they do talk to you, you can't help it but feel absolutely charmed. They are good-looking, smart, polite. I get a very venusian vibe coming them. They may put a lot of effort into how they look, not by vanity but because they genuinely like to take care of themselves + find it unmannerly to go out looking like a mess.
As for what's on their mind, my dear pile 3, I have good news for you! They have noticed you and thought about you before, and everything's very positive. They find you attractive, interesting, and a great catch, really. It also seems like they may have heard quite a bit about you (coming from others), and whatever was said gave them a very good impression on you, so even if you're not that well acquainted, they hold you in high regard already. However, with this 2oW, I feel like they may have other options, and if you don't make it clear that you want to explore a relationship with them, the opportunity might just pass you by. I actually don't see them making that move themselves, I'm sorry… There are other things/people holding their attention at the moment and for the foreseeable future. Still, The Strength rx + Queen of Cups at the bottom of the deck = the potential is here, and so is the chemistry I was talking about. Once you get this started, there's no stopping it! You'll be pulled in and taken on the most amazing ride.
⋆ extra messages:
E names. Emily. Emmett. Emerson. Soccer/football. Lia/Leah. India. Indya. I + IY/YI names. 2016 being a significant year - moving, meeting, Instagram following. June. Born on the 6th of the month. History. Brown hair and green eyes. Hazel eyes. Hazelnut. German family or travelling to Germany. Studying architecture or building architectural models. Learning french.
⋆ channeled song: Rihanna - Love On The Brain
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Pile 4 || ♣️ cards: justice rx, page of cups rx, five of cups, page of pentacles rx, eight of pentacles
There's something very sad about this person and this pile. Your crush may have been or may be going through a difficult period, yet I feel like they've been doing their best to hide it. They laugh a lot, smile all day, joke around, but on the inside they are going through something that has been bringing them down. I think they feel lost, confused, alone. Maybe it's a family matter (like a divorce or some kind of separation), or perhaps it's just that, for some reason, they are now being forced to leave their home, friends and/or family, and it just hasn't been easy to them to accept and deal with that. There's a loss of stability here, and a loss of community. It could've happened already, too, by the way - they may already be in separation from their loved ones or away from the place they were used to calling home. On a positive note, I feel like this is temporary and they'll recover soon. It's just a low point for them. Also, they may be dealing with some concerns regarding their future and where to go next (professionally, academically, etc.), and that only adds to it all. As for the two of you, my dear pile 3, it seems like right now just isn't the right moment for anything to happen here. You can offer them friendship, some comfort, advice, support, but that's about it, I believe. This person has a lot to figure out at the moment, on their own, and whatever they have to offer you doesn't seem to be exactly what you need or want, deep down. It would lead to heartbreak, most likely. Still, this feels so sweet and so warm. So, maybe, you should give it some time and then give it a try… Because, honestly, I do think this person has some good feelings for you (or could grow some good feelings for you, if you aren't yet acquainted). They may not know what those are exactly, but I still think something really good could bloom from this.
⋆ extra messages:
A names. Adam. Adrienne. Greenland. Finland. Art class. Discussing or studying politics. Georgia. G names. Galicia. Meeting or seeing their father/father figure for the 1st time, or their father being mentioned in conversation a lot. Surgery. Torn ankle or some other leg/foot injury. Mockingbird. Buzzcut. Red nail polish.
⋆ channeled song: Billie Eilish - Bored
deck used || Tarot of the New Vision
(Disclaimer: Based on current energies. All is alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)
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minminbunny · 1 day
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Stalker X Stalker AU - Psychotic! Lee Felix/Love Straved Gender Neutral! Reader
*smut part - AFAB/AMAB
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💕Drabble Masterlist
❤️Ultimate Masterlist
"We're done, Felix. I can't do this anymore," you scoffed, tugging your wrist back from his grip. Felix felt his blood boil, "What do you mean, we're done. I can't stay having another break from you just because you don't understand that I hate it when they stare at you, baby. You're mine, my little darling," he growled, glaring at you.
"Not a break, it's over. I'm sick of you being possessive of me. I'm sick of you watching over me. Just leave me alone, we're breaking up," you sniffled as angry tears dripped down your cheeks. Felix's eyes widened, "Baby, you can't do this to me. I'll give you more space. I just hate when people gawk at you like some toy. Darling, you're worth more than that. You're my everything. Please don't leave me," he pleaded, feeling his knees get weak.
You looked away, dragging your suitcase, "I'm sorry," you whispered, closing the front door behind you. Felix held his head in his palm, laughing controllably at the events that just happened, "It's a nightmare. It's all just a nightmare. They'll come back for me. They have to," he babbled, tears streaming down his cheeks as he wailed.
You curled up in a hotel bed, clutching the plush Felix won you at an arcade. You sighed, "It was for the best, right?" You sniffled, feeling the usual familiarity of loneliness. "It's not like he wouldn't find another. He's handsome, charming. He can easily get another partner that's just like me," you sniffled, your voice cracking as you spoke.
You looked at the plush, staring into its eyes, "This is where I belong," you whispered, crying yourself to sleep. Felix clenched his jaw and stared at the screen, his gaze icy and blank. Tear stains etched into his pale skin, "You can't escape me, darling. I understand where you're coming from though, those stupid ex partners of yours surely implanted those thoughts in your mind, but I'll come after you. I'll show you true affection, I'll teach you. Mark my words," he growled, staring at your sleeping face through the plush he gave.
Weeks went by and the loneliness grew heavier and heavier. It felt like Felix's constant affection was filling up the empty gaps throughout the day. It felt like he was distracting you from the heavy thoughts in your mind. You stared at the plush, "Is he right?" You whispered, stroking the plush. You questioned your decision, pondering if it were the right choice to make or were you just too caught up to escape.
You couldn't tell the difference, "Maybe I should go on a blind date and see how that goes," you murmured, calling a friend to step you up. Felix pressed his tongue against his cheek, "Not on my watch," he grits, eavesdropping on the call and forming his plan. You dressed up nice, it's been a while since your first date with Felix and you know that first impressions matter. You kissed your plush goodbye and left for the venue.
When you walked in, someone was seated at your table. You went up to them, but they were on a call. They gave you a guilty look and apologized. You nodded and waited for their call to end. It was a quick date, one with not many defences, just a smooth sailing date. You exchanged numbers and went to the bathroom. It wasn't like your first date with Felix. His eyes weren't glued to you and his smile was half-hearted.
When you first met Felix he gave you the brightest smile you've ever seen. He made you feel seen. You sighed, filling the bathroom with an odd sense of longing. Felix waited by your car, waiting and lurking for your arrival. He had a cloth drenched in chloroform, ready to kidnap you in your own car. You walked through the parking lot, mind still dazed from the odd longing in your chest, you missed him.
You missed the way he would cheer you up when you're down. You missed the way he would tighten his grip around your waist and bite the back of your nape to claim you. "I miss him," you whispered, holding the hood of your car. Felix shifted his jaw, 'You just met him, and you miss him?' he thought, waiting for the right moment. You sighed, unlocking your door when you felt a cloth over your nose and mouth.
You panicked, thrashing away when you heard a familiar deep voice, "You're mine," he purred, holding the cloth closer. You felt yourself subconsciously relax, knowing that it was Felix that's holding you. He furrowed his eyebrows, subtly questioning why you gave in so quickly, but he paid it no mind. You were in his arms, and that's where you'll stay. Felix placed you in the back seat, bound your ankles and wrist, and taped your mouth.
You stirred awake hours later, your arms bound to the back of the chair and your ankles tied apart. Felix sat in front of you, watching your sleeping body like a drug, "Wakey, wakey," he chuckled, seeing you stir. "Slept well?" he asked, twirling a pair of scissors in his hand. You blinked at him, "Where have you taken me?" You asked, your speech slurring.
Felix chuckled, "Curious, aren't you? We're in my relatives' cabin house, in the middle of nowhere, darling. Even if you run, I know these acres better than you," he warned, holding the knife to your throat. "Tell me, was all our love for nothing? I just want you to love me like I love you," he pleaded, tears dripping down his cheeks. You bit your bottom lip, staring at him with wavering eyes.
Felix threw the scissor aside, "Answer me, Godamnit!" He lashed, gripping the chair behind you. "I don't know! I don't know what love is, Lix," you sobbed, hunching over. Felix felt his breath hitch at the nickname, "I know you don't, darling. That's why I've been showing you. I didn't mean to overwhelm you," he said, wiping your tears.
You leaned into his palm, "Teach me? I can learn to be as lovesick as you. Please, I want to love like you," you sniffled, looking at him. Felix took in a deep inhale, "Okay, precious. You'll see the way I'm obsessed with you," he whispered, patting your cheek.
NSFW BELOW CUT
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AFAB
"Fuck, you're so tight," Felix groaned, his hands tied behind your back and his ankles tied apart. You held a knife to his throat and rode his hot girthy cock, "Can't, can't," you moaned, trying to ease down to the hilt. Felix groaned, digging his nails into his fist, "Yes you can, darling. You can ride my cock without my help," he hissed, feeling your slicked tight walls clench around his cockhead.
You sniffled, bouncing your hips up and down his cock, barely taking half of his length up your puffy cunt. Felix chuckled, raising an eyebrow, "See precious. This is how you depend on me. This is how you let me take care of you," he said, removing his hands from behind, easily undoing the rope as he took the knife away from you. "Now let me help, yeah?" He said, thrusting his hips upwards with your bounces.
He held your waist tight as he buried his cock deep within your cunt. You cried into his shoulder, the stretch dulling your mind from the sheer pleasure and pain coating your senses. Felix kissed your shoulders, "There we go mmh down to the fucking hilt," he chuckled, kissing up your neck. You clawed his back, "Please make love to me?" You pleaded, looking into his eyes with a pitiful gaze. Felix smiled, kissing your cheek, "Of course, my darling. We have all night for this," he said, thrusting his hips at a languid and lazy pace. Taking his sweet time to engrain this moment into your heart.
AMAB
"Fuck, you're so tight," Felix groaned, his hands tied behind your back and his ankles tied apart. You held a knife to his throat and rode his hot girthy cock, "Can't, can't," you moaned, trying to ease down to the hilt. Felix groaned, digging his nails into his fist, "Yes you can, darling. You can ride my cock without my help," he hissed, feeling your slicked tight walls clench around his cockhead.
You sniffled, bouncing your hips up and down his cock, barely taking half of his length up your puffy hole. Felix chuckled, raising an eyebrow, "See precious. This is how you depend on me. This is how you let me take care of you," he said, removing his hands from behind, easily undoing the rope as he took the knife away from you. "Now let me help, yeah?" He said, thrusting his hips upwards with your bounces.
He held your waist tight as he buried his cock deep within your hole. You cried into his shoulder, the stretch dulling your mind from the sheer pleasure and pain coating your senses. Felix kissed your shoulders, "There we go mmh down to the fucking hilt," he chuckled, kissing up your neck. You clawed his back, "Please make love to me?" You pleaded, looking into his eyes with a pitiful gaze. Felix smiled, kissing your cheek, "Of course, my darling. We have all night for this," he said, thrusting his hips at a languid and lazy pace. Taking his sweet time to engrain this moment into your heart.
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Thinking about the song "Ship in Port" by Radical Face and clones
Thinking about the line "Farewell to the chains we were born into" and what that can mean for the clones
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Thinking about how "But I have always stayed in place/Under that old illusion that it's safe" could equally describe Hunter, Echo, and (s1+2) Crosshair's complete opposite approaches to the Empire and post-war life.
The way Crosshair clings to his identity as a soldier of the Empire
And Echo as a soldier of the Republic
But Hunter puts his identity as a soldier behind him
Crosshair fights for the Empire to gain purpose
Echo fights against the Empire to save his brothers
And Hunter decides the Empire is too strong to even try to oppose
"A ship in port is a safer one"
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"but it's not the reason it was made"
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"So forgive me if I wander off"
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"And forgive me more if I just stay"
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Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had more fully explored the differences between those ideologies
(Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had dedicated more screen time to the 'reg' clones within the Empire and the underground network's fight to free them , instead of just sidelining Echo and Rex for a hypothetical clone rebellion show we might never get)
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bitterbutblue · 1 day
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our times
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turns out, you're the fortune i want to keep most ☆ multi x reader
~ this is a multi x reader!! hatssun was talking about writing angst and i really said omg my turn! sorry hatssun ur idea was so good and it works so well w yukong and feixiao... ill credit u so hard bro i swear. WVERYONE BE PREPARED FOR WHEN THINK FAST DROPS🙏🙏🙏
UMM ALSO THE FEIXIAO ONE IS SOLONG FOR NO REASON LOTS OF DIALOGUE SORRYYYYY
characters: feixiao, yukong, ruan mei
 song: 小幸運 - Hebe Tian ~
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
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i was too busy chasing shooting stars in the sky ☆ feixiao
The day Saran ran away, something in you ran with her. The day Saran ran away, you didn't know if you would ever see her face break into a smile again, or if you would see her hanging the next day. The trace of her slowly faded with time, but even when you finally had the guts to bolt for it she was still the only thing on your mind. That day, you didn't mind if you died running, because it would've been better than staying there but alive. You didn't mind if you died running, because you died with her on your mind.
God knows how many decades had passed since the Luofu took you in. You only count days in how much your heart ached for her. Eventually it dulls down, it goes from a sharp thud to a muted nudge every time you see a dash of silver hair in the crowd or a sharp but soft smile on Jing Yuan's lips. You've heard of how far she had gotten, and you wished it didn't hurt so much to hear about it. You forced yourself to forget about her, because you couldn't keep living every day haunted by her. You were finally able to live your days how you wanted to, even if it meant without her by your side.
"Yukong, can you run these by the general for me?"
You were absentmindedly sitting at your desk, filling in whatever forms the general had sent to you about all the legality things they had to sort out for the Wardance. You spin your pen, signing your name down and ticking the last of the boxes. You huffed at the lack of response from the woman who should be sitting across from you.
"Yukong?"
"She's not here."
You look up at the sound of the unfamiliar voice, and the world decides to take a break for a moment. In that small fraction of a second you feel yourself going back in time for decades until you are standing face to face with the young foxian, bruised and battered with an undying flame in her eyes. She is now much taller, her face pale but not the sickly kind that she harboured before. Her eyebags faded, hair flowing as if it had been just washed- a sight you never saw before in those camps.
She looked healthy, she had everything she wanted.
So why did she look like she was about to break down in front of you?
It wasn't fair.
"Saran?"
She only nods, standing with her arms by her side like a fool who doesn't know how to speak. She clears her throat, moving to cross her arms so she looked less awkward standing in front of you.
She wears clean clothes, she smells of petals.
Her scent of blood long faded, but you feel the pain behind her stance.
"How have you been?" Is all she asks as she eyes your desk warily, as if not knowing how to approach the conversation.
"Well. You?"
"Good enough."
Your old banter had long faded now, your previous ability to make each other laugh despite knowing the imminent death that looms over you two every day.
"Neergul died."
"I know."
"I'm sorry."
It's like talking to a wall, or to just a mirrored version of yourself with how either of you refuse to look at each other.
"I never knew if you died or not until I came here."
Your shaky voice finally cuts the tension that has been simmering for far too long. She swallows, looking up and you know she is holding back tears because she has only ever looked up when the night sky is open and she can see the stars that granted her hope.
"I found out you became general. I was happy for you."
She says nothing.
"Why didn't you reach out?"
The edge to your voice has her breath knocked out of her lungs for a second as she tries to formulate an answer. She tries to weave incoherent thoughts and jumbles of emotions into a sentence and it's much harder to be done than she realised.
"I couldn't."
Of course she couldn't. Why would she admit to you how much of a coward she was? Knowing she had abandoned you after kissing you goodnight that evening.
"Why?"
But you want answers. It's not every day your presumed dead lover comes back to see you after years and years of crying yourself to sleep and hoping that in another future you could be in her arms without having to fear for your life.
"I was scared."
The general cannot be scared, or show any signs of fear in any situation- especially emotional situations where they need to stay calm so that people can feel secure around her but right now it all falls apart.
"Of who?"
"You."
"Why?"
You really did not like to raise your voice but you couldn't help it- she infuriates you. From the moment she flooded your heart you realised why love and hate go hand in hand because you hate that you love her.
"Why now?"
"I don't know."
Is all she manages to stutter out after an incredulous minute of silence and you just sigh.
"Why didn't you come find me?"
Her question has you going speechless now.
You were a hypocrite.
"I don't know."
She just nods with an unreadable expression on her face.
"I don't regret what I did that night."
You squeeze your now-fisted hand tight, taking a deep breath in to try to not only steady your voice but calm your racing heart that threatens to beat so hard it shatters in your chest.
"But why? Why make me love you for decades if you never planned to return?"
"I wanted to return. I always did."
Her words come out much more rushed than she intended it to come out. You feel your world shatter in that moment as you speak your next words.
"You never moved on?"
She steps closer.
"I dreamt about you every night. Under the sea of the shooting stars."
You shake your head, quickly wiping away at your own tears and she has to take a sharp breath in so her tears don't fall.
"Don't say that." You whisper "We can't. Please."
She looks at you, more intensely than ever as her voice quivers.
"Why?"
You shake your head.
"It'll only hold us back."
You still adorn matching scars from the torture you both had gone through in those camps. You love her, but she also left you.
"We can't." Is all you say.
She turns around and you want to pull her into your arms, you want her to be able to look at you but from that moment on, the look on her face as you showed her your soulmate would be the face you see every night you close your eyes.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
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somewhere in the sky i could not see, was you ☆ yukong
The evening Caiyi died in her arms, Yukong vowed to never see the skies again. That was the same evening you went missing, the same evening she breaks down because how can she lose two of what she loved most in her life within the blink of an eye? The reason for her to wake up every morning, the reason she smiled even through the roughest of the days- now faded into nothing but memory and a distant bitter taste in her mouth.
You were not presumed dead, only missing. The false sense of hope had Yukong staying at her desk for hours every day, going through files and files, records upon records to try and maybe find some trace of you somewhere but after years of searching she finally gave up. She had to care for Qingni for Caiyi, she had to keep loving you because if she doesn't then she feels like she's lost herself.
It was the day Qingni flew to the skies when she finally looked up once more. She looks to the planes to see her daughter flying the same path that doomed her from wanting to live but the sky was the reason she had the two people who made life worth living. It was that day a plane crashed and Yukong felt the familiar, sickening feeling from decades ago as she runs to the sight. She's panicked, flustered, heart racing and feeling like throwing up as she pushes past crowds amongst crowds-
She doesn't know if she should scream or sigh in relief when they pull the lifeless-looking figure out of the starskiff. The model was old, the same she used in the war where she lost....
You. The figure they pulled out was you and she feels like she's going to be sick. She runs up to them, asking if you're okay and the medics are telling her to back off but she needs to know. She puts her head down, ear against your chest and almost sobs when she hears your heart thud weakly. It's so soft she really could've missed it but she hears it.
"Oh baby..."
She whispers as she cradles your head on her lap.
She sits by your side in the hospital until you wake up. She doesn't move, doesn't eat or drink or anything unless Qingni drags her to the bathroom or to the cafeteria. She holds your hand weakly, squeezing it every once in a while to see if you'd respond.
A cough jolts her awake and she quickly scans the dark, dimly lit room to find you- blinking weakly as you scan the room wearily.
"Oh, oh my god."
She quickly gets off her chair, rushing by your side.
"Are you okay? How are you feeling? Nurse-"
"Yukong."
She never thought she'd hear her name fall from your lips, to hear her name mumbled out so softly and hoarsely again.
"I'm here, I'm right here."
You don't say anything as you close your eyes, taking in a deep but pained breath as you close your eyes. She can feel her hands go cold, trembling violently as she tries to calm herself down. Her fingertips feel like they've been dipped in ice water and her throat feels like its closing up violently.
"You're here."
Yukong couldn't help the sob that escapes her lips at your words.
"Yes, yes baby. I'm right here."
The tears are already falling before she can even bother trying to control them, and she can already feel herself slipping away when you smile softly at her because she had always been a fool for you. She put the whole world down for you and she would lift it up for you if you needed it to be lifted again.
"I- I came back."
"You did, you did baby, you're back." She whispers, finally moving to take your hand in hers. You feel so much smaller, your hand much rougher than it used to be and when she finally takes in how scarred you are she feels like breaking down.
"Wanted to see you..." you whisper weakly, voice shaking as you look directly into her eyes.
Your eyes were nothing like the eyes she used to look at every night before she drifted off to sleep. Now they were hollow, every trace of who you once were has faded into the past that only resides through her dreams.
You were back, but you'd never really be back.
She just squeezes your hand gently as she tells herself it's okay, telling herself that you're physically here and you were somehow still alive and that's all she's been praying for since the day you fell.
So why does it hurt so much?
If all she's ever wanted was to have you back in her arms, why does it hurt so much to have you back now? Looking at her with a smile that no longer meets your eyes and a sense of coldness washing over her like a suffocating blanket every time she sees you.
She still loves you.
She still loves you and it hurts that her lover has died, reincarnated into a broken version of who she once loved. But she doesn't care. She will learn to live with the cold if it means being able to hold you once more. She would spend as long as she needs, puzzling every piece of you back together until you are able to smile at her without the history of all that happened haunting your every waking move.
She vowed, from that moment on, she'd start looking at the sky again because the sky brought you back. Every evening she stares up at the moon, watching it dim the lights to another day, and whisper her gratefulness to have her lover back. Every evening, she brings you out to look at the moon, the same moon you looked at during the two decades apart where the only thing you had together was the moon draped in the sky that she was too scared to look at.
"I love you."
You just lean your head against her chest.
You just listen to her heartbeat, and with each thud the cracks in your body begin to renew themselves- you would never be who you were, but you would always love her.
"I love you too."
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
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every scene was you ☆ ruan mei
The day she left, she vanished. No note, no text, nothing. Ruan Mei had become nothing but a shadow on earth when she decided to leave your house and you questioned if it was even worth searching for her at that point.
She had always been obsessed with aeonhood, aeons, power- whatever. You knew she was. Yet you still loved her for it, and she always promised you that one day you two would be able to love each other for eternity, for as long as you wanted to and until time itself faded into nothing but what was a mere idea of the past. She held you close that evening when she promised you, your head resting on her chest as she wrapped her arms around you.
A week later, she vanishes.
Lab empty, notes packed away, it was like as if your house had gone back in time to before you met her with how empty it all was. You called her number, texted her phone, contacted everyone she knew which was not a lot but you still tried because you loved her.
The day she revealed herself as the 81st member of the genius society, you felt your entire being shatter into pieces of who it once was. That was why she left you. Ultimately, Ruan Mei was selfish, and she had always been a selfish person.
You were foolish for loving her.
But you couldn't stop.
By the time you finally encountered her again, your history had become just a speck of dust in her mind but it was still your reason for hurt. It was still the reason why getting out of bed was a bit harder and why looking in the mirror hurt just a bit more than it should.
"Oh, it's you."
Her monotonous voice has you wanting to squeeze her throat, strangle her until she can't speak but you don't move. You stare at her, her lack of reaction, her poker face and you just swallow.
"How are you?"
That was the only sentence you could manage out and if you looked closely enough, you could see her eye twitch slightly as her throat tightens- her composure begins breaking at the sound of your voice.
"Well." She nods. She sounds too composed to you despite all the pain she is desperately trying to hide. She hates you for making her feel this way. She hates how weak she feels when you make that face at her, when your eyes widen and your mouth tightens into a line, body tense and breathing shallow. "You?"
She notices how your body tenses even more at that question, how your eyebrows begin to furrow as your face grows pink from anger.
"Not very good."
"Oh."
Her response had you fuming even more. How she was so careless and thoughtless towards you and how you felt drove you off the walls. She doesn't give a shit about you, why would she even ask?
Because you don't see the guilt that eats away at her heart every night as she stares at the photo of you that she has on her bedside table.
"Congratulations. You did it. Genius society."
It came out bitter and harsh, and Ruan Mei doesn't flinch but she feels this twist in her gut that's too unfamiliar and too painful for her to fully register. She doesn't understand this feeling. She wants to, because she wants to know how to stop it.
"Thank you."
You scoff at her response, physically unable to stop yourself from rolling your eyes as you stepped closer to her, jabbing a finger into her chest.
"You're a fucking bitch."
She hates how her heart leapt at the feeling of your touch, she hates how your words actually manage to hurt her when it really shouldn't be affecting her at all. She's been called so much worse, so why does this, coming from you, hurt so much?
"Is this because I left?"
How can she be so dense?
"You left without saying a word! You just disappeared off the face of the earth, I don't hear from you saying where you are. I don't know what happened, I thought I did something wrong, but no- I remember who you are. A narcissistic bitch who only cares about herself."
The last part hurt more than it should've.
"I don't only care about myself."
You can't help but falter at how soft her voice suddenly goes as she looks down, not making eye contact as she shifts her bodyweight from foot to foot.
"I really cared for you."
Those words shouldn't affect you. You should've moved on from what happened almost twenty years ago now but you can't. You just stare at her and you hate how you feel tears start to form in your eyes as you blink violently, trying to hold it back.
"Don't say that to me."
She goes silent.
"I hate you."
She looks down and you don't see the tears that well up in her eyes.
"I really hope you succeed. I hope you get everything you've ever wanted."
She doesn't even get to see your face for the last time, because by the time she finally gets the courage to look up you were already gone. Your last words to her haunt her every time she begins her studies, or every time she tries to focus on figuring out creating a new life species. She knows you didn't mean it, yet she can't help but want you to notice her just one last time.
Maybe this time, she could fulfil her long broken promise to you.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
@44rtem idk ifthis is the ruan mei content u wanted... but here u go <3
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kurogane2512 · 1 day
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Eirene Birthday 2024
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Yeah I couldn't hold back after this message so here it is (tho I'm late)
18+ CONTENT
Game: Path to Nowhere
Characters: Eirene x gn!reader with a dick (Chief)
Type: Smut with plot, long fic
"Ms Eirene, there is a guest for you- the Chief of MBCC." One of Eirene's servants informed her while she was seated in her dressing room, getting ready for her birthday banquet.
Eirene hummed and noted the time to be 6pm then told the servant to bring you in, feeling slightly surprised at your unexpected arrival. She then sat upon her vanity and started applying her eyeliner when she spotted you appear through the door in the mirror's reflection. Eirene smirked to herself eyeing you in the mirror and let out an amused sound.
"What a pleasant surprise, Chief. Here to wish me for my birthday?~"
"Actually, yes."
Eirene's eyes remained fixated on you hearing your words, wondering if you were saying the truth. She kept down her eyeliner then stood up and took a few steps towards you. You smiled while glancing at her from head to toe then extended out the packet in your hands.
"You look beautiful. Happy birthday, Eirene."
Eirene looked at the packet and could tell there was a gift inside. She accepted the packet and kept it on one of the side tables before coming back to stand in front of you, crossing her arms over her chest and lips curled up from one corner.
"Thank you, Chief. Is this your way of making up for declining my invitation for tonight's banquet?~"
You looked at her in surprise, "....I would have wished you regardless of the invitation. It's your birthday."
Eirene let out a soft chuckle, "Well, would you come to the banquet with me if I made it as a personal request?~"
You pursed your lips out of hesitation, "Sorry to disappoint you, Eirene. I'd be quite of place at such a gathering, and I do have a lot of work to do. I was barely able to take out time to come right now."
That was only half the truth, you didn't reveal one other reason which was perhaps the most important one. Eirene's expression didn't shift and she simply nodded, "It's a shame, I'd have liked your company. But, thank you for your blessings, my dear partner in crime. I think victory in 'war' at tonight's banquet is certain~"
You squinted your eyes at her strange words, "What do you mean?"
"Hm? Isn't it obvious? Every interaction, every meeting, every gathering, is like a battlefield for me. Today's banquet is no exception."
"But.... it's your birthday, you are supposed to celebrate and enjoy. Can't people give you a break even on your birthday?!"
You sounded rather assertive in the end, making Eirene slightly surprised. Her heterochromatic eyes looked into yours as if she was staring right into the depths of your soul.
"You are a strange one, Chief. You should be aware by now I'm always ready for battle, be it with words or actions. This world is too cruel to have a moment of respite for someone like me."
Your fists clenched involuntarily as you remained silent, unable to refute her words. You then heard her heels tap as she walked closer to you and kept her palm on your chest, leisurely sliding it up and down before cupping your face.
"The only battle I'd hate to have is with you, but if that day ever came then I expect nothing less than a satisfying fight from you~"
Eirene leaned in and pressed a kiss against the corner of your lips, leaving a mark of her deep red lipstick.
"Let's meet later tonight, shall we?~" She then leaned near your ear to whisper, "I'll be going all out against you and I trust you'll make it a thoroughly enjoyable experience for me~"
Your face turned red at her words, "Will you even get the time? Won't the banquet go on till late night?"
"Hmm, that depends on me and my victory~"
You let out a sigh and accepted her deal. Eirene still wished you'd have come to the banquet, your presence would have eased some pressure and thrown people away from her but in truth she simply wanted to be with you than the pretentious bunch hogging her. The war tonight was fought with tactics, seductions, boasting etc— everything Eirene had been prepared for. It really didn't feel like a birthday banquet for her, she was only waiting for the moment for it all to end.
It was 10 pm now as you were finishing the last stack of papers in your office. You'd have finished much earlier had your mind not been occupied with thoughts of Eirene and the words she spoke, you wondered what she wanted to do with you and your mind always wandered to particular fantasies which you'd have to bring yourself out of and focus on work. You looked at the clock and questioned if she was really coming, you knew her victory was guaranteed but you were concerned for her wellbeing. Parties of the rich were exhausting, after all.
Some moments later, a knock resounded on your door and your hopes skyrocketed thinking Eirene had arrived. But you were met with slight disappointment as it was simply your Adjutant reminding you to sleep on time and not overwork yourself. You shook your head and let out a sigh before resting back on the chair, gazing up at the ceiling. You wondered what Eirene was doing, how the party went, if she enjoyed or it really was a battle as she called it. Suddenly, another knock came followed by the door opening and your eyes widened.
"Still awake, Chief? I see you waited for me~"
It was Eirene. She was still wearing the dress you saw her in earlier, her face slightly flushed as if she was tipsy.
"E-Eirene! I didn't think you would...."
"Hm? Why wouldn't I? I made a promise to you, I'd never break your trust."
You quickly stood up and walked up to her, allowing her inside by gently holding her arm. Her body leaned into you and pressed you against the wall, her head resting on your chest.
"Are you okay? You shouldn't have forced yourself, you must be tired after the party."
"Mmm.... I'm fine, Chief. It was indeed quite draining but I saved enough energy to be with you~"
You felt guilty for refusing her invitation, had you known she wanted you around so much then you would have swallowed your hesitations and came for her. Eirene leaned away from you and stood up straight, looking at you with a smile that seemed to hold some expectations.
"So... how was it? What all did you do?" you asked her.
"The usual. Throwing off guests trying to flatter me and have a share in my fortune, having a battle of wits with enemies trying to make me slip up and spill my secrets, and avoiding weasels who slink up to me in hopes of grazing my body."
Eirene stated nonchalantly, showing just how common such things were for her.
"....Did you eat something? Or even drink?" you asked, worried.
"Certainly; the dining table is another battlefield, after all~"
You let out a sigh while she chuckled softly.
"So, what do you want to do now? I'd really want you to rest up."
"Don't forget your end of the deal, Chief. I'm still ready for another battle tonight~"
"Hah~ Fine, come with me then."
You grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the office, leading her to the cafeteria. The place was empty now as all Sinners had retracted to their cells, the staff was essentially up just for you and your late-night requirements. You went to the bar area first and sat down with her, ordering a few drinks for both of you.
"Drink as you want, Eirene. Nobody is here to trap you in your words and reveal your secrets."
Eirene chuckled and picked up the glass in front of her then clinked it with yours while announcing 'cheers'. You both took one sip while gazing at each other then she languidly leaned against the bar table, letting her hair flow free from the bun and fanning her face. She then began ranting about the kind of people she met and what conversations she had, letting all her frustrations out as alcohol slowly climbed in her system. She wouldn't do this anywhere else or with anyone other than you, the trust between you and her was one of a kind.
"You know, Chief, all this would be more tolerable had you been there. Now that we are revealing all our thoughts, why don't you say the real reason for declining the invitation?"
You looked at her with hesitance and pursed your lips, "It's nothing serious, I didn't lie about the work and feeling out of place...."
Eirene chuckled and kept her palm on your thigh, slowly rubbing it in circles as if to rile you up.
"That's unfair, Chief. I thought there were no secrets between us~"
You knew nothing would escape Eirene, she saw through your half-truth easily. You looked down and gritted your teeth then finally let go.
"W-Well, I thought you'd be judged quite harshly for inviting me. You know, why would the Quinn CEO have any relation with the Chief of MBCC bla bla..."
An amused smirk crept up Eirene's face, she had already made guesses about the reason and this one was the most likely in her eyes.
"Hehe~ How easy you are to read, Chief. I know you are the straightforward type, but don't wear your heart on your sleeve so much. Try to make your behaviour more.... unpredictable~"
"You are the one who's too good at interpreting people! I was being very cautious this time....!"
Eirene let out a hearty laugh, perhaps the first time she laughed so openly today. You pouted as you felt ridiculed but soon eased out looking at her carefree state, you were glad to see her enjoy even if a little. She stopped laughing then looked at you with a smile and interlaced her hand with yours.
"Let's play some games, Chief~"
You were caught off-guard by her proposal, "Games? Like board games or something?"
"Mhm, you have some in the recreational area, don't you?~"
"A-Anything but chess, please...."
"Haha~ Don't think I cannot beat you in other games, Chief. Well, I'll let you pick a game~"
You sighed then made your way over to the recreational area together, you looked around to decide upon a game where you'd have a decent chance of winning then finally settled on one.
"How about Pool?" you suggested.
"Interesting choice.... do you think I won't be able to beat you in this?~"
"Not really, but I feel I can put up a better challenge than in others~"
"A good challenge, that's what I wanted. Don't disappoint me now, Chief~"
You walked up to a Pool table and arranged the balls then took your respective positions with cue sticks in hand. Eirene let you have the opening move to give you a head start and the match continued from there. The goal was the usual- score the most pockets without fouling. The match turned quite heated as you teased each other for failed moves or missed chances, the alcohol riled you up from Eirene's provocations and you became quite serious about winning while Eirene appeared as calm as ever.
"Why don't you show your true nature, Chief. I know you are hiding some kind of secret move~" Eirene taunted.
The match was going head-to-head for the most part until you finally took the lead for a while but Eirene recovered soon after. It reached the point where only 1 ball remained, the deciding play for victory. You took your position and angled the cue stick with focus and precision then hit the ball but missed the pocket due to applying too much power. The ball rebound from the edge and ended up on your side again.
You clicked your tongue and stepped away to give Eirene space and have her turn. You were pinned up to the wall as the space between the table and wall was rather small this side, you should have stepped to the other side instead. Eirene eyed you deviously as she walked in front of you before bending upon the table and angling the cue stick. Somehow, she was perfectly positioned right in front of you which made her butt stick out and rub against your crotch.
You shivered from the unexpected stimulation and gazed at Eirene's figure. You suddenly felt hot all over looking at her exposed back as it was arched up from her position and the way her curvy behind snuggled against your crotch. You looked at her face and she was focused on the play, not at all bothered by what was happening behind her. You wondered if she did this intentionally, you wouldn't be surprised if she did. She then moved in circles for a bit as she adjusted her position to find the perfect angle.
You lost all focus on the game and were only looking at her now, your hands trembling with the urge to hold her. Your pants felt tighter and you hoped she wouldn't notice but you knew that would be in vain. She then suddenly stepped back a little, completely pressing her butt into you and squeezing you against the wall. You held back a groan and tried to shift out of the way but it was difficult, you were trapped by her. You tried to look up at the game and saw her hit the ball finally, and to your dismay, it went in the pocket making her the winner.
Eirene stood back up and you breathed a sigh of relief while she turned around to face you with a big smile on her face, "See, I told you, Chief!~"
You were practically sweating now and did your best to hide your semi-erection, "Y-Yeah, congratulations! I guess we should call it a night now! I'll drop you off—"
You turned away from her and were about to walk away while wiping your sweat when Eirene held your hand and pulled you towards her before pinning you on the wall. The next moment, her lips were quickly pressed on yours while her hands cupped your face possessively. Your eyes widened but you couldn't hold back your urges anymore, wrapping your arms around her waist and pulling her even closer. The whole game had riled you up due to her taunts and provocations, and the last 'interaction' was the breaking point.
"Don't act so innocent, Chief. I want my prize for winning now~"
She whispered between the kiss, her knee grinding against your erection.
"You did that intentionally.... mmh... d-didn't you?"
"Don't say you didn't like it. Look at your state now~"
"Is this what you wanted all along? You shouldn't have wasted time with the game then~"
"Mmm, it was fun. I liked being able to enjoy without any worries. Now, I expect you to give me a real gift. You have to thoroughly please me~"
"Yes ma'am~"
Eirene smirked before smashing her lips to yours again, engaging in a passionate kiss. Your tongues mingled together, your hands groping each other to pull off any piece of clothing. Eirene discarded your coat and unbuttoned some of your shirt before sliding her hands down to unbuckle your belt. Your hands found the knot of the strings of her dress and hurriedly loosened it, letting it fall down her upper body and exposing her breasts.
"W-Wait! We should move elsewhere—!" you protested.
"I don't mind it, Chief. Nobody will come here at this hour, and you can delete all the footage from the cameras later~"
Eirene husked before going down to kiss your neck and chest, leaving prints of her red lipstick on your skin. An idea occurred to you all of a sudden, you pressed the button on your ear piece and eyed the camera in the corner.
"N-Nightingale, turn off the cameras in the recreational area for tonight. Also, nobody is allowed to come here until I say so...."
There was silence for a moment before a reply finally came, "....As you say, Chief."
You removed the ear piece after her reply and threw it across the Pool table. Eirene had already opened your pants button and unzipped your flyer, palming your erection through your underwear.
"Good thinking, Chief. See, I knew you are worthy to be my partner in crime~"
She was about to take out your cock when you pushed her back making her lean against the Pool table and grasped her leg up to your thigh, pressing your bulge to her clothed core. She let out a sultry gasp, lacing her hands in your hair and clenching your back with her nails.
"Ahh.... calm down, Chief. I'm not going anywhere tonight~"
Eirene whispered while rocking back n forth on your erection. You dived in near her neck and inhaled her intoxicating scent while pressing kisses to her skin, pleasured sighs leaving her mouth and flowing in your ears. She nipped your shoulder before biting down at a spot, making you hiss before grabbing her breasts and kneading them.
"S-Sorry that I didn't come, I didn't think you wanted me there so much. I was just worried for your—"
"Shh, say no more, Chief. I'm used to doing these things alone, but knowing that there is someone out there genuinely supporting me gives me lot of encouragement. It's just that.... the party would have certainly been more enjoyable with you, and you already gave me an enjoyable time now. It's rare to have a chance to be alone with you like this, why don't you please me as you promised?~"
You nodded with a smile then dropped to your knees, spreading apart her legs to expose her soaked core. You caressed her legs up to her thighs then slid of her panties that were already wet with arousal, followed by rubbing you finger over her folds. Eirene softly sighed in pleasure and rested her legs on your shoulders, essentially pulling your face closer to her core. You looked up at her and saw her smirk before intertwining her fingers in your hair, tugging you forward.
You raised up her thighs then lapped up her folds once, sending a shiver in her body which made her arch up. You followed this with more licks to her clit, flicking your tongue on the bud in quick motions. Eirene hummed as your tongue went deeper, eventually plunging it inside her and sucking. Your thumb circled her clit while you ate her out, your tongue grazing her sensitive spots and sucking on them. Her grip in your hair tightened and she pulled you deeper, wrapping her legs around your head and squeezing you in.
"Y-Yes, Chief.... aaah.... right there.... Oh! You are good at this— hngh~!"
She leaned back on the table more, her body heaving as her orgasm approached. Her free hand went to pinch and twirl her nipple, she gazed at you with ragged breaths and adored your focused state pleasuring her so well. She loved having you worship her this way, treating her no less than a queen. She doesn’t care what others would think of her being with you, they don’t know you like she does and.... when have they ever known her true self even? She ran her hand through her luscious hair, tilting her head back and moaning your name, moaning for you to go deeper and harder.
That’s exactly what you did as your mouth latched onto her clit and sucked the bundle of nerves while fingering her walls, finally making her release. Eirene sat heaving as you cleaned her up before standing up, she immediately pulled you in by your neck into a passionate kiss while she felt your throbbing erection rub against her abdomen. She was impatient now, too pent up to go slow and sensual. Her palm slipped past your underwear and directly grabbed your shaft, wasting no time to finally free it from the confines.
“L-Let me get a condom....” you stated and were about to walk away when Eirene gripped your shaft tighter and essentially pulled you closer by it.
“Leave it now, Chief. It’s too late for it~”
“But—”
“Oh, just be quiet now~” Eirene abruptly kissed you while trying to align your length to her core. “It’s fine today, I need it this way~” She whispered against your lips and you let go of all worries too as you gripped your cock and rubbed the tip across her vulva, mixing your pre-cum and her slick.
“Mmm.... don’t be so gentlemanly now, Chief. I’m expecting you to fuck me~”
Her words caught you off-guard as she rarely used such crude language. You then shoved forward and plunged inside her in a single thrust, entering her half way then sliding to the hilt. You groaned together at the penetration, feeling overwhelmed by her warm walls enveloping you tightly and your girthy length filling her up completely. Eirene arched back and wrapped her legs around you while gripping your shoulders, a nod from her was all you need before starting to thrust in and out.
You started slow at first just to ease her, you were tempted to slam in as she wanted but that wasn't your style and you knew Eirene loved it your way more. Her hooded eyes gazed into yours, conveying an insatiable lust and need, the look making you lose control and increase your pace. She bit her lower lip as you became faster and deeper, pulling out till the tip remained then quickly shoving in all the way. She felt all her sensitive spots being touched at the same time, your cock was inside her so well.
"C-Come on, Chief.... We are not lovers— aaah.... y-you don't need to be so careful~"
You gritted your teeth then suddenly lunged forward and laid her flat on the table while plunging down into her at a harsh pace. Eirene moaned incoherently, surprised by the change but loving it nonetheless.
"I'll still fuck you like a lover— guh!~" you announced as you slammed into her, your thighs slapping against hers as you kept up the pace. Eirene smirked in victory and pulled you in for a hug, wrapping her arms around you while sweetly moaning in your ear.
"Show me then! Show me how you do it like I'm yours!~"
You buried your face in the crook of her neck and thrusted in and out at an animalistic pace, fucking her just the way she wanted. Her hands slid down your back making scratches from her nails, marking you up as her property. Eirene knew she wouldn't feel this pleasure from anyone else, all those people trying to flatter her to get inside her were worthless. It was ridiculous at some point, how could she feel this from you? But here she was, letting you ram into her like a beast and thoroughly enjoying it.
She was eventually turned over and bent against the Pool table now as you entered her from behind, impressed by your stamina as you hadn't cum yet. There was no way she was cumming before you, but she was finding it difficult to hold on with how your cock drilled at all her sweet spots just the way she liked. Your hands grasped her butt and spread her cheeks apart further, taking in the sight of your cock piercing her. It was irresisitible to have the Quinn CEO this way, little did you know you were the only one she'd bend over for.
"Aaahn! Yes! Yes! Mmmm~! F-Fuck me, Chief! Fuck me harder! Let it all out!~"
You grunted and pressed her lower back down, putting her in a beautiful arch with her head tilted to the back and eyes rolling to her skull. You then leaned forward and pressed your front to her back while your arms wrapped around her waist, sneaking down to touch her clit. Your thighs slapped against her ass and produced erotic sounds, your finger rubbing her clit eagerly to make her release.
"Eirene.... you are so tight d-damn.... Why don't we do this more? When was the last time we did this— ngh!~"
"F-Forgotten already, Chief? I don't blame you.... aaah.... i-it was almost 8 months ago... mmh!~"
"How did I live without being inside you for so long.... s-shit...."
"Y-You tell me, hehe.... Don't you have other people for this?~"
"No... I have been so busy, I didn't do with anyone else— fuck!~"
"Oh my, you have been pent-up for so long? Hehe, I'm glad to b-break your streak then— aaahn!~"
Eirene practically screamed as you suddenly made a harsh thrust, hitting her deepest spot then continuing to hammer at it the same way. It wasn't as fast as before but it was so much deeper and harder, she could feel every part of your cock graze her walls. You raised up her right leg and and put it over your shoulder then grabbed her waist and ploughed in and out brutually, the table creaking as her body bounced against it.
"I-I'm going to cum— fuck! Let me pull out!~"
"N-No, give it to me inside! You said you'll fuck me like a lover!~"
You took a deep breath then turned her over completely and pulled her up in your arms, carrying her as she bounced on your cock while you leaned against the wall. You hilted all the way as you finally released, gushing her walls with your thick stream of cum. She came at the same time and held your length in a deathly grip, practically milking you of every drop you had. She felt so full as your cum poured inside before you pulled out your cock, letting some drip down her thighs. You breathed out together and she leaned in to kiss you, you were worthy of her in every way and she hoped you'd understand that.
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adokyoguen · 1 day
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hi! I have a req idea - Gojo tearing up when yn kisses his forehead as he’s never felt so vulnerable 🫠
take care :)
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Basically, for me, satoru wouldn't cry in front of Y/N because he wants to continue being the strongest for her.
BUUT, that wouldn't stop him from crying over her in hiding 😏
Here it is, I made it short but if you want a continuation please feel free!
Please forgive any mistakes and correct me! I needed the translator's help several times. :((
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Your eyes slowly opened so that you could adjust to the brightness of the room. You felt sore, several parts of your body including your abdomen and forehead were bandaged.
But... what really happened?
Oh, right, you and the second-year students had just fought Suguru, everyone was completely destroyed, and that included you. Sure, Gojo arrived late, but he was able to end Suguru's life. When he found you, you were lying on the floor, completely injured, as were Panda, Inumaki and Maki.
Taking you all to the infirmary was a difficult job, even more so when you were so fragile that Satoru thought he would break you if he held you wrong.
You were one of the first to receive treatment from Shoko, your bleeding was internal, but thank God you were fine.
When you had stabilized and woken up, you looked to the side, finding flowers and a letter written on the dresser;
"If you're reading this, you probably woke up without me. I'm currently solving the problems with Sukuna's vessel, so I'll be back soon to see you.
Take care :)
Note: I left a chocolate hidden for you inside your pillow.
Satoru Gojo. ♡"
You smiled as you read the letter and decided to sleep a little longer to recover until he came back.
23:43 PM
When it was night, you woke up with the infirmary door opening and footsteps walking to your stretcher. And there he was, with that arrogant smile as always.
— Oh princess, are you finally awake? — He says, sitting on the chair next to your bed.
— If my eyes are open, I probably woke up. — Tsk... so ignorant... — Satoru laughs, twirling a strand of your hair with his finger. — So... how do you feel?
— Huh... well? I can't say, my body hurts but at the same time I feel quite energetic. — You say and he smiles.
— Well, it's to be expected, you were unconscious for 4 days.
— Wait... What?
— Yes, Shoko said you lost a lot of blood, you had several internal hemorrhages. You swallowed hard.
— And Suguru...? — You didn't want to ask that. Not when he was the one who hurt you so much. But gosh... you cared so much about him... you didn't have the courage to kill him and he took advantage of that.
— I killed him. — He says, without any joking tone in his voice. Had his efforts been in vain? You were so distracted by your thoughts that you barely noticed Satoru's voice stuck in his throat, but either way, he didn't want you to notice that.
— I... I'm sorry Toru...
— Nah, it's okay. — He says smiling, you knew he wasn't completely okay. Suguru was the only best friend Gojo had in his entire life, and now, he had been killed by himself, but of course, it was Satoru Gojo, he was always "fine". — I'll let you rest a little, I need to go after Director Yaga.
— Okay... — You answer as you watch him get up.
— See you later, princess.
— Wait!— You shout, grabbing the man's wrist and pulling him closer. With a quick movement, you place a long kiss on his forehead and whisper. — You're the strongest Satoru, but you're still human, remember that for me, okay?
Satoru was surprised, but with his bandage over his eyes, you could barely notice. He smiled, nodding.
— Good night, princess. — He places a loving kiss on your forehead, as a way of thanking you and leaves the infirmary.
You didn't know, but when he left the infirmary, he removed his blindfold to wipe the tears he shed.
Maybe today you won't see him cry, but who knows one day?
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clarisse0o · 2 days
Text
Camp Wiegman-Part 77
Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle
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Alternative Universe: Military School
Words: 5K
Masterlist
———————————————————————
Saturday, April 2; 1:50 PM - Downtown.
Time is passing. Only one week remains before the holidays. I'm eager to get there. Lucy and I have agreed that I will give my all during these last weeks so that I can relax afterward. It's tough. I'm barely with my friends at school anymore, but I want to be ready for the big day. They know and understand that. Another thing that's hard is that Lucy doesn’t show me any affection at school. Ever since Wiegman found out, she's been very cautious. Sometimes she hugs me in the evening or gives me a kiss or two, but that's it. So, I'm glad it's the weekend. At least now, she doesn't hold back.
"Are you going to be okay?" she asks me.
"Of course," I chuckle. "It's not the first time I've been here."
Today is the second Saturday I'm going to work with Grace at the gallery. She wants to make sure we can work together and that we both enjoy it. Personally, I loved being here last week. It didn't feel like work. Grace has a much more modern style, thanks to street art. Mine is still very classical, so I understand why she said she could teach me a lot. We complement each other in a way. She asked me to come back today, and she'll give me her decision tonight. By the end of the day, I'll know if my future has a chance in this field. I sincerely hope so. It's the only concrete offer I have. I know that if I get my degree, I can find work in administration, but let's just say that’s not what I want.
"True," Lucy replies. "Will you text me when you're done?"
"Like last time, yes. Say hi to everyone for me."
Lucy is going to meet up with her friends at the venue. They need to clear out the last few things before next week. I think they still have a lot to do. I regret not being with them. I enjoy lending a hand, but I have other responsibilities today.
"I won't forget," she says with a smile.
"And tell Ale I'm supporting her with all my strength for tonight."
Lucy laughs, nodding. Leah party is tonight. I sulked about it for a long time. I felt a little guilty for not being there since I haven't been spending much time with them, but I can always count on Lucy to lift my spirits.
"I'll tell her. Now go. You’re going to be late again."
"How about a little kiss first?"
She smiles and leans over to kiss me.
"Have a good day, my love," I say before getting out of the car.
I close the door and walk toward the gallery. I know Lucy won't leave until I’m inside. And that's exactly what happens. I enter the gallery, triggering the little bell hanging on the door. I take the time to close it, and only then do I see my girlfriend's car pulling away. I smile at that but quickly refocus.
"Ah, hey Ona," Grace greets me.
"Hey," I reply.
The first thing she asked me to do last week was to speak informally with her. I must admit it’s a relief. She's young, probably around Lucy’s age. At least I’m sure I won’t mess up. It also makes me feel more comfortable.
"How are you?"
"Good, and you?"
I smile and approach her for a cheek kiss. The gallery she owns is nothing like Mr. Fields'. It's smaller. Much smaller, but I love it. It's very cozy. It's dark, with occasional light accents here and there. I recognize her style from Nyko's paintball artwork.
"You came at the perfect time. I was trying to hang a painting, but it’s up high, and I couldn’t manage alone. Can you help me?"
"Yeah, of course. I’ll just drop my stuff in the back."
"Oops, sorry, poor you," she laughs. "I'm already piling on the work. Go ahead, I’ll wait."
"Oh no, don’t worry," I giggle.
"Meet me in the back."
I nod while taking off my jacket. The gallery is shaped like an "L." It's on a corner, which is lucky. This way, each piece displayed is lit by the large windows. Grace had the entire place renovated, and I must admit it’s brilliant. Passersby can see inside without having to come in. I go behind the counter to reach a back room. There’s about 20 square meters of space here, which serves as a workshop, storage, and even a dressing room. I hang my bag and jacket on the coat rack before joining Grace at the back of the gallery. Now I understand why she needed my help. She’s waiting for me at the top of a stepladder, with a huge canvas on the floor.
"Wow, it's beautiful," I comment.
The painting is a street art piece of the city of Seattle in multicolored hues. I can totally recognize Grace’s style in it. It’s truly stunning.
"Did you make it?" I ask, just to be sure.
"Yeah," she smiles. "I want it to be the centerpiece, but as you can see, it’s quite big."
"Yeah, I can see that," I chuckle. "Hold on, I’ll lift it for you."
No sooner said than done. I lift the painting so she can grab it where she’s standing. I hold it until she manages to hang it from the suspended ceiling using hooks. Unlike the rest of the room, the ceiling is made of white oak beams. It contrasts nicely with the anthracite walls.
"Phew, thanks."
She climbs down the stepladder, and we step back to see how it looks.
"Not bad, huh?"
"It looks great," I reply. "I think the painting’s just a little crooked."
"Yeah, I just noticed that," she giggles. "Can you stay below in case it slips?"
I nod, and we adjust it until it's perfectly straight. Meanwhile, several people have entered the gallery. Most are just curious, but I think some of the paintings catch their eye. Grace told me that most people come back later for a painting that caught their attention. I guess business isn’t doing too bad.
"Have you sold more paintings?" I ask, noticing some empty spots.
"Yeah," she says with a smile. "Can you help me replace them? Then we can get back to the painting you started last week."
"Sounds good to me."
"Not like you have a choice," she teases.
I laugh and shake my head. We head to the storage room to get the new paintings. I’m supposed to stay until closing, but I can tell we’re not going to be idle. That’s fine with me. I prefer this to sitting around doing nothing.
Saturday, April 2; 5:20 PM - Gallery.
"Well, I think it’s time to stop," Grace tells me.
I check the time. It’s almost 5:30. I’m surprised. The time flew by.
"Oh yeah. I’ll text Lucy so she can pick me up."
"Don’t you have your own car?" she asks.
"Not yet, but I think it’s coming soon."
"That would be better, indeed," she smiles.
I text Lucy to let her know I'm done, then I start putting away the tools I used and wash my brushes in the sink. I haven’t finished my painting yet, but I’m sure I’ll have another chance to work on it. Grace’s advice has been really helpful. She has a completely different method than mine, but I appreciate her feedback. Once I’m done, I return to the front where Grace is behind the counter. She managed to sell four paintings this afternoon—and not just any paintings. I think she’s doing pretty well for someone who just started out on her own.
"All done."
"Great," she says. "I promised I’d give you my answer about next year, so here it is," she says, handing me a form.
I pick it up to see what it is. A small smile forms as I realize it’s an application for the Seattle School of Art.
- Does this mean…?
- These two half-days with you were cool. You’re nice, you know how to do good work, and you’ve got talent. That’s all I was asking for.
- Wow, I say, not knowing what else to say.
- I was able to enter one of your pieces into the school's last enrollment competition thanks to my contacts, and you’ve been selected, she tells me.
I’m having trouble understanding. She entered me into a competition without me knowing?
- You…
- Sorry for not asking your permission, but I didn’t have a choice, she giggles, seeing the look on my face.
- It’s no problem.
- You’ve still got a lot of work to improve, Ona, but you really impressed them, so… she shrugs. Welcome, I guess.
Unable to hold back, I hug her. It’s really the least I can do. She just saved my entire future.
- Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I’m so relieved. A huge weight has just been lifted off my shoulders. She giggles at my reaction, but she doesn’t realize what she’s giving me. I’m finally going to be able to live my dream. Just six months ago, I thought this was impossible. All my life, I’ve been told I couldn’t make a living from this, and yet here it is, happening. It feels like a dream. I release my new boss when I hear the doorbell chime. I smile when I see Lucy walk in.
- Well, it seems like there’s good news here.
- Oh yes! I exclaim, handing her the application form.
Lucy looks at it for a moment, then glances between us with a smile forming on her lips.
- Ah, yes, I see now. That’s really amazing. Thank you so much, Grace. Ona can finally relax a bit.
- Oh, it was my pleasure, Grace replies with a small laugh.
I go to Lucy and slip into her arms. She kisses the top of my head while still holding the form.
- Do we need to send this to the school? she asks.
- Uh, it’s better if you bring it back to me. I need to return it as soon as possible to my contact at the school.
- Alright. Well, do you have a little time? We can fill it out now.
- Oh, that would be great, yeah. I’ll get you a pen.
As soon as she leaves for the back, I let out a little squeal of joy. Lucy laughs, holding me tighter.
- Can you believe it!?
- Yes, yes, she giggles. This is really amazing, babe. I’m proud of you.
She kisses me softly. I feel like I’m floating on a cloud. I can’t believe all of this is happening so fast. Just a few weeks ago, I imagined myself sorting papers at a desk.
- You know what you have to do now, she whispers to me. You absolutely have to pass your exam.
- I’m working on it. I think I’m doing pretty well.
- Yes, that’s true, she smiles. Who would’ve thought you’d get serious one day…
I stick my tongue out at her teasing. Grace comes back with a pen, and Lucy helps me fill out my part. I realize I don’t even know her address, and it’s about to become mine soon. I can’t wait. I can’t wait to move in with her and call it my home too. I already feel at home there, but it’ll be more official. We’ll be there every day, together. Just thinking about it makes me feel strange. The form is easy to fill out. I double-check that I haven’t forgotten anything before copying the information onto the other two forms. I sign them and hand them to my new boss, who smiles mischievously.
- Well, you’ve just signed your death warrant. You’re under my command now, she jokes.
- Oh, there are worse things… I hope, I giggle.
- You’ll have time to form your opinion, Lucy comments. Well, shall we head out now?
- Great idea. I’m heading home as well. My boyfriend is taking me out to dinner tonight.
- Lucky you, I say with a smile. Well then…
I don’t finish my sentence. I’m not really sure what to say. Now that I’ve signed the papers, what’s next? Grace seems to understand my dilemma, as she says:
- I’ll contact you for the next steps. I’ll give you the details of when you start working here and when your classes start too. You’ll probably need to come back to sign a contract.
- No problem. I’m close by, after all.
- Great. Well, have a good evening then.
- Have a good evening too.
I head to the back to grab my things and return to Lucy. We say goodbye to my new boss one last time before heading out. I feel like a ball of energy. Everything is falling into place now that I’ve signed that form.
- What are we doing tonight?
- Well, I may have reserved a table too…
- Really?
I turn to her sharply. She smiles, amused by my reaction.
- Yep. I thought it would be nice to celebrate the good news.
- Oh yeah? And how did you know, huh? I just found out myself.
I smile as she presses me gently against the car when we reach it. Her hands rest softly on my hips. I relax as her lips tease mine.
- You should know I never doubt you…
- Why are you so perfect? I murmur, wrapping my arms around her neck.
- I’m not.
- Yes, you are, at least with me.
- Well, that’s because you make me that way. Because I love you.
I groan and lean in to kiss her, but she pulls back, keeping me just out of reach. I pout. I don’t like it when she denies me a kiss.
- Don’t make that face, she smiles, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I wanted to apologize, because I’m not as perfect as you think. I’m denying you a night with your friends tonight.
I step back at those words. I can see a hint of sadness in her eyes. It’s partly my fault. I guess I made my disappointment a little too clear about it. I smile, caressing her cheek.
- The most important thing is that I’m spending the evening with you, my love.
- Really…? Because—
- You’re the most important person to me. I know you’re anxious about meeting them.
- What—
- Don’t take me for a fool, I interrupt her with an amused tone. I know you hide your fear behind the idea that we have to be discreet at school. But we both know you’re just scared of meeting them as my girlfriend.
Lucy opens her mouth, then closes it. I love when I can leave her speechless. It’s so rare. She sighs, shaking her head, and tries to pull away, but I hold her close. Our chests are pressed together. I can feel her heart beating a little too fast. She doesn’t like being caught off guard, and I get it. I feel the same way when she surprises me.
- You’re right, she whispers. I’m sorry.
- Don’t be. I totally understand. It must not be easy to meet your students as my friends.
- No, not really. I tend to know what everyone thinks of me at school.
She’s not wrong. Even now, everyone asks me how I can spend so much time with Lucy. They can’t see her as the woman standing in front of me right now, and it’s such a shame. I slide my hand under her hair, gently stroking her neck. My touch seems to calm her down.
That’s true, I murmur. But they don’t know my girlfriend. I know it must be scary for you, but it’s important to me. I want people to meet my girlfriend. I want to show you off. To say that you’re mine, like you do.
- Like me, huh?
- Oh yes. Do I need to remind you of the number of hickeys you've given me? You love to claim that I belong to you.
- Yeah, that's true... There's still a bit of me missing on you, though.
I giggle as her lips brush against my neck.
- No, Lucia! I replied, gently pushing her away.
- What, you don't like my marks? she teased.
- Stop it. That'll be the first thing they tease you about.
- Really? I bet they'll mock my commander nickname instead.
- You want to play that game? Alright, let's make a bet then.
- A bet, huh? OK. If I'm right, I get to do whatever I want with you for a whole evening, and vice versa if you're right.
- Hmm... OK, I'm in.
- Good, she said, pecking my lips. Now let's go. We'll be late for my program otherwise.
- Your program, huh? What do you have planned for me this time?
- A romantic evening, she announced as she walked around the car. I had to make up for the event we're not attending tonight.
- You didn't have to, but I like it. I enjoy going out with you.
- Don’t expect anything crazy. We're just going to have dinner, and I thought we could go to the movies afterward, she said once seated behind the wheel.
- I particularly like that plan, I said while fastening my seatbelt.
- Perfect, then.
We exchanged a smile before she drove off. She took me to a restaurant I didn't know, one fancier than the places we usually go to.
- It's a French restaurant, she whispered as a waiter guided us to our table.
- Really? I asked with a small smile. What gave you the idea?
- Nowhere, I just enjoy coming here.
Lucy had everything planned. She really booked a table, and we were lucky enough to get one on the restaurant's veranda. I wondered how long ago she made the reservation.
- Thank you, she said to the waiter.
- You're welcome. Here are the menus. I'll be back to check on you later.
- Thanks, I added as he left.
I looked around. It was particularly beautiful here, and we were lucky that the sky was clear.
- It's beautiful, I whispered while staring at the starry sky.
- I booked last week... when Grace told me she'd be watching you.
I lowered my eyes, mouth slightly agape.
- Y-you knew?
- Well... yeah, she replied mischievously. She just wanted to keep you waiting a bit longer, so you'd keep giving your best today.
She laughed while I sulked. She knew before I did. But how could I hold it against her when I saw where we were now?
- You're lucky I enjoy surprises.
She laughed and intertwined our fingers. I brought them to my lips for a kiss. This moment of relaxation felt particularly good. I felt exhausted from giving so much, but now that I knew where I was headed next year, I was even more motivated to ace my final exam, which was fast approaching. I’d already had a preview with my recent tests, and I hadn’t done too badly. Next week, we have mock exams. I'm looking forward to them because at least I’ll know exactly where I stand before the real ones.
- What are you thinking about?
- A lot of things, I answered with a small smile. How will things go from here?
- Well, as planned. You’ll take your mock exams, then we’ll go on vacation.
- I can't wait, I giggled. I’m so done with all this.
- I bet, but it'll be fine, she reassured me.
- And after that?
- After that? she asked, tilting her head.
- Well, after... after school...
We were interrupted by the waiter who came to take our drink orders. I trusted Lucy and chose the same as her, a non-alcoholic cocktail. We waited for him to leave before I turned back to Lucy. She shrugged.
- After school... well, we’ll go to Barcelona, and then we'll come back here.
- To live at your place, I murmured.
The idea seemed so surreal. Yet, it was what was going to happen in just a few weeks. After all this time.
- Have you changed your mind?
I snapped out of my thoughts at her question. I could see a hint of concern in her eyes.
- What? No, no! I was just thinking... maybe we could make things more official...?
- What do you mean?
- It might be too soon but... I’d like, I don’t know... to co-own the apartment? We’re going to live together, so I want to contribute to the expenses.
Lucy nodded before sinking into her chair, crossing her arms.
- That’s indeed a big step, becoming a co-owner.
- I don’t want us to move. The apartment is great, but... I want to invest in it, you know?
- I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
I opened my mouth, but I closed it when Lucy raised her hand to stop me from arguing.
- I trust us, I know how you feel, but you never know what could happen. There could be complications between us, and I wouldn’t want the apartment to become another relationship issue to deal with.
- I’m not planning on leaving you, I said, pouting.
Lucy laughed and leaned toward me. She grabbed both my hands, pulling them under her chin.
- I know, love, but it’s too soon. Tomorrow, we’ll celebrate two months together. I know we both feel like we’ve been together longer, but it’s only been two months.
- That’s true, I muttered.
- How about we see how living together full-time goes? I don’t think there will be any problems, but it’ll be a big difference from just weekends.
I nodded, feeling a little sulky. I didn’t like how right she was. After all, we were just at the beginning of our relationship, but I craved more. I needed more, I think, but I didn’t dare say it.
- Hey, she murmured.
She lifted my chin, forcing our eyes to meet. I hated facing her gaze. It made me feel so vulnerable. There was a determination in her eyes that sometimes made me wonder how she got to where she was.
- Don’t make that face. We have all the time in the world now, okay? There’s no need to rush. That’s how we’ll crash into a wall.
- Yeah... I mumbled.
I hated that she was right. The last time I rushed, it ended badly. I wanted to do things right, but at the same time, I wanted to speed things up. The waiter returned to bring our drinks and take our order. Since I hadn’t really paid attention to the menu, I agreed to Lucy’s suggestion that we share a dish—cheese platter, actually. She sold me on the idea, saying it was really good, so I accepted. As the waiter left, I still felt uneasy, but Lucy remained unfazed.
- Honey, one day, I’m going to make you my wife. We’ll buy a big house together, and maybe even have kids. I want all of that just as much as you do. Don’t think otherwise.
- I know, Lucia...
I blushed slightly at her words. If she wanted them to affect me, well, it was working. Wife and kids were big words, perfectly expressing our future together.
- So be patient. First and foremost, we need to learn how to live together and build a stable future. It all starts with a good job. Neither of us knows what our work experience will lead to, and it’s good to focus on that before jumping into anything else. Don’t you agree?
I sighed but nodded.
- Yeah, fine, you win.
She chuckled softly.
- Come on, give me a kiss.
I leaned in to give her what she wanted. I could never deny her that.
- Can we enjoy the evening now?
- Yes.
Our cheese platter finally arrived, and I had to admit it was a good choice. Lucy really knew what was good, and I enjoyed it thoroughly.
- I wonder how things are going with Alexia, I mused as we started eating.
- No idea, my girlfriend giggled. But she wasn’t feeling well this afternoon. I had to comfort her.
- You, comforting her? Now I’ve seen everything.
- Well, yeah. I like her, surprisingly.
- That’s good news then, I teased. At least one of my friends you like.
- Oh, stop it, she rolled her eyes. I like Mapi too.
- That wasn’t the case in the beginning.
- We were both jealous, but I think she’s starting to understand where her place is with me.
- Yeah, I think you're right.
I sipped my drink, reflecting on the conversation we had a few weeks ago. Mapi had defended Lucy regarding what she didn’t yet know about Feli. I think she has indeed figured out her place with Lucy, even if she struggled to admit it. After all, she was my only close friend before I came here.
- Thinking about something in particular? Lucy asked, noticing I was lost in thought.
- No, I said, blushing. Just that you're right. She defended you not too long ago.
- Really? About what?
I shrugged. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up.
- Something unimportant...
I know I’m a terrible liar, but I didn’t want to ruin our night with negative thoughts. Lucy stayed silent for a moment but eventually nodded.
- Okay, she whispered. You know you can tell me anything, right?
- Of course, I said with a small smile. But it’s nothing important. I just wanted you to know that she defended you, and I was the first one surprised.
- Alright... well, I guess things are changing.
We shared a smile. I knew she realized I wasn’t telling her everything, but I appreciated that she didn’t push. The evening continued without any more unsettling topics.
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scribblesofagoonerr · 4 hours
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under pressure | katie mccabe x teen reader x caitlin foord
thank you to the anon that requested this one. it's been fun to write it!
i think i'm gonna plan a part 2 of this maybe, depending on what reaction i get from this one...
pairings: katie mccabe x teen reader x caitlin foord
summary: there's a lot of pressure that comes with being the next big thing in women's football sometimes
warning: talks of a eating disorder and angst
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It sometimes felt like you had the world at your feet. You were well aware of the word on the street that you were the next big thing in women’s football. The headlines were quick to label you as a future star, comparing you to legends like Marta or Sam Kerr, but of course being the youngest to sign a professional contract sometimes came with a certain level of expectations, and that was something that nobody could really prepare you for the weight that would follow.
Living alongside Katie McCabe and Caitlin Foord felt like a dream in itself like it would for any football-crazy teenager and you were no different, you moved in with them after your own parents couldn’t travel to England with you. 
Caitlin and Katie were quick to become more than just teammates or mentors, they became family.
It should’ve been perfect– It mostly was.
At least until the pressure started to become too much for you, the media scrutinised everything about you: your every move, every game, every slip-up. There felt like there was never any room for mistakes and it started to take its toll on you.
The expectations suffocated you and you started to believe the medias’ words, not only the media but the pressure of fans as well, you felt like you were weighed down by an anker of harsh criticism.
Maybe if you were smaller– lighter, you could be faster. You could be better.
It only started small, barely noticeable in fact, just skipping meals and convincing yourself that you were just too busy. The comments on how lean you looked pushed you further, but it didn’t take long for the innocent excuses to morph into something darker.
The hunger pains were a lot easier to bear than the suffocating pressure, but you should have realised that it would be harder to hide, and before long, it wasn’t just you who had noticed the toll it was taking on you.
“You seem a lot quieter today kid,” Caitlin was the first to pick up on your bitter mood as you made your way out of the London Colney and headed in the direction of where Katie had parked her car earlier on when you all arrived for training, “What’s going on?”
“Nothing, I’m all good,” You gave her a weak smile and kept your shoulders slouched as you opened the car door to climb in.
Are you sure, kiddo?” Katie noted the exhausted look on your face as she opened the car door and climbed in, “Cait’s right, you don’t seem like yourself today.”
“I’m fine Katie,” You all but growled in response and slumped down in the backseat of the car, “I’ve already told you I’m fine, so just leave it, will you?” You hadn’t meant to be rude but you really do hate all the persistent questions being fired at you.
You hated being the centre of attention, despite what the media said about you.
It didn’t take long for you to begin feeling the weight of guilt, “Sorry, didn’t mean to snap like that.”
“It’s okay kiddo,” Katie replied, glancing in the rearview mirror and giving you a reassuring smile, “How about when we get home, we order pizza. My treat?” She offered.
Your smile faltered at the mention of food. Your stomach was hurting from the hunger, but couldn’t give in to the temptations, “Um, it’s okay, I don’t really fancy pizza, thanks,” You respond, biting your bottom lip.
You missed Katie and Caitlin sharing a glance with each other, catching the hesitation in your voice. It was subtle, but they both knew you well enough to notice.
At one point, you used to jump at the chance for pizza nights– especially after a long day of training and now you barely even showed an ounce of interest.
“Okay,” Katie simply nodded and started the ignition of her car up.
The drive back home was quiet, too quiet. The hum of the engine mixed in with the quiet volume of noise in the car filled the silence, but your thoughts were still loud. You couldn’t help but stare out the window, feeling the familiar tightening in your chest.
You hated the fact that they were starting to notice more, it was easier when they didn’t and you could still pretend that things were fine, even if they definitely were not.
You couldn’t ignore the way that your hands trembled slightly from exhaustion or the pounding in your head that had become all too familiar lately.
You just had to pretend for a little while longer.
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Back at the house, you immediately make a beeline for your bedroom while muttering something about needing a shower. As soon as you closed the door, you leaned against it and took a deep breath. 
The initial feeling of hunger gnawed at you but you try to shove it aside, heading into the bathroom to splash cold water on your face all while ignoring the mirror, knowing you wouldn’t like what you saw.
“Hey kid! We’re gonna watch a film, do you want to come and join us?” Caitlin shouted upstairs to get your attention and you jolted slightly in shock.
“Uh, yeah, I’m coming!” You respond, turning the tap off and dabbing your face with a towel before making your way back into your bedroom, you shove a cosy hoodie on and shove your hair up in a messy bun before you head back downstairs to join the two of them.
“Here she is,” Katie exclaimed, gesturing for you to join them in the living room, “Where just deciding what film to watch, do you have anything you’d like to watch?” She questioned.
“Um, I don’t mind. I’m fine with anything,” You told her, plopping down on the sofa beside them as you listened to the two of them argue about what to watch.
Usually it was pretty comical when that happened, but you didn’t have it in you to laugh this time round.
The tension in the room was thick, and you knew it was only a matter of time before they brought it up again.
After what felt like an eternity, Caitlin broke the silence, “Y/N, we’re worried about you.”
Your stomach dropped and you should have known this was coming, but it still felt like a punch in the gut.
“You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping,” Katie leaned forward, her expression soft but serious, “You don’t seem like yourself, and we know that the pressure is a lot, but you know that you don’t need to carry it all by yourself.”
“I’m fine,” You shook your head, feeling the familiar panic rise in your chest, “I just have a lot going on right now.”
“We get it kid, but starving yourself isn’t the way to handle things,” Caitlins’ tone of voice was gentle but still firm. “There’s better ways to cope.”
You couldn’t help the tears that pricked at your eyes, but you blinked them away and refused to let them fall, “I’m not starving myself,” You whispered, trying to convince yourself more than them, “I just… I need to be better. I’m not good enough.”
“Y/N, you’re more than good enough,” Katie’s heart broke at your words as she scooted closer and placed her hand on your knee, “You’re incredible, and not just because of football but because of who you are, okay. You can’t do this to yourself, you can’t push yourself to the point where you’re hurting, kiddo.”
Your resolve was crumbing, you suddenly felt the weight of everything that you’d been holding in starting to break down, “I just… I don’t want to let anyone down,” You admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Hey, come here,” Caitlin reached over and pulled you into a tight hug, “You’re not letting anyone down, kid. We’re so proud of you– so proud. We just need you to take better care of yourself, and we’re not just talking about football here either. We care about you.”
Burying your face in her shoulder, the tears finally spilled, “I’m scared,” You choked out, “I… I don’t know how to stop.”
Katie soon joined the hug, her arms wrapping around both you and Caitlin, “You don’t have to do it alone,” She paused, “We’re here, we’ll help you, but you need to let us in.”
It felt like for the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable. To let them see just how scared and overwhelmed you really were, with all the added pressure of things.
It now made you realise that maybe, just maybe, you didn’t have to face it all on your own after all.
You could let them in.
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© scribblesofagoonerr
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pedroshotwifey · 2 days
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Trouble in Paradise (Part One)
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Pairing: DBF!Joel Miller x f!reader
Word Count: 3.4k
Summary: Of all the things you thought you might be doing on your summer break, falling in love with your father's best friend in Hawaii wasn't one of them.
Tags/Warnings: Nothing crazy yet! Some kind of maybe tension, pet names, talk of Joel knowing reader since she was small, reader has a dad, mom is not mentioned, yadayada
A/N: Hello my friends! I'm terribly sorry I've been away for so long. There have been a lot of...unsavory happenings lately. Want to say sorry in advance because I know this isn't my best writing, but i'm trying to get back into the groove of things. I'm hoping I'll be back to my scheduled programming (TTF, FB, answering requests) by the time this short series is done. Expecting it to be around 3-5 parts. Thank you so much for sticking with me <3
*******
You’ve been laying in your bed blasting your “chill” playlist through your earbuds since you got home from school around five. The last exhausting day of your freshman college year. Lana Del Rey, Cigarettes After Sex, Hozier, and the like have been floating lazily through your head as you watched the sun go down. 
After a long day, you’d hung your head off the foot of your bed, intent to bask in the golden glow of the evening in a baggy T and your underwear until your eyes shut for the night. You were almost asleep when you were interrupted by a sound that didn’t quite go with “Wicked Game”. 
You yank your earbuds out, sitting up on your bed. You don’t remember it getting so dark. Your cracked window allows the late summer breeze in to gently rustle the curtains framing it. Crickets and cicadas chirp loudly outside, creating a symphony to compliment the stars shining through the inky sky. 
“Sweetheart?” 
Your head swivels to look accusingly at your closed door. The name was shouted from the stairway. Definitely your dad.
You roll your eyes but get out of bed. The clock on your nightstand tells you it’s 8:02pm, so he’s probably calling you for dinner. You’ve told him before that it’s easier just to call your cell, but when has he ever listened? You pad to your door, crack it, and shout back. 
“Be down in a minute!”
Getting no response, you can only assume he heard you. You close your door back and pick up the polka-dotted pajama pants crumpled into a pile beside your bed. You tug them on through a yawn, almost tripping a few times before they’re on all the way. 
You check your mirror before heading down. You look sleepy, not like it really matters. Your door creeks as you push it open again and make your way down the stairs. The soft carpet laid in the middle of the hardwood keeping your steps quiet. It’s about halfway to the kitchen that you hear a second voice to your father’s. It sounds vaguely familiar, and your heart skips a beat. Surely it’s not—
You climb down a few more steps and stop in your tracks at the sight of Joel Miller sitting at your dinner table. You haven’t seen him since at least your high school graduation. You’d harbored a small crush on him then, but that had to have been nothing compared to whatever the hell you’re feeling now. Your entire body seems to glow with some mix of embarrassment and surprise. 
You really thought you’d gotten over this silly little crush. Then again, it’s hard to get over something like Joel Miller. High school boyfriends? Sure, no problem. But the classic DILF next door of a best friend your dad has isn’t so easy. He’s been a constant in your childhood, always kind and there for you even when your dad wasn’t. So, in other words, highly inappropriate for you to be so attached to. 
It’s easy to say the years have been kind to him. He’s a few years older than your father, so probably about mid-forties now. He’s started to gray, a fine amount of silver peppered into his mousy brown hair. That beard of his has taken the brunt of it, though. That beard you’ve imagined between your thighs so many times. 
His dark eyes seem to have become kinder thanks to the crow’s feet carefully etched into the corners. He’s wearing his signature T-shirt and worn jeans, his brown leather jacket and work boots likely disposed of near the front door. 
He smirks as his brown eyes fall on your disheveled form, halted on the bottom step. You, in contrast to the god-like figure he’s sporting, must look like an absolute mess. Despite that fact, he looks at you almost in a different way than he used to. More intensely. It makes you resist the urge to squirm. 
“Joel,” you finally manage to choke out. “Hi.” 
Smooth, you think. 
“Hey, trouble,” he returns, light amusement lacing his tone. It makes you nervous, like he’s clocked your little secret. 
He gets up from his seat, and you can tell he’s going for a hug. You shock yourself into action and take the few steps to reach him. He envelops you in his strong arms just like he used to, and you take the opportunity to breathe in his scent. Smokey pine, whiskey, and a hint of mint—just like you remember. 
You’re smiling like an idiot despite yourself as you pull away. Luckily, your dad makes an appearance before you say something embarrassing. 
“Hey, sleeping beauty,” he teases. “You remember my buddy Joel, dontch’a?” 
Joel scoffs before you can answer. “‘Course she remembers me, Scott, known her since she was damn near in diapers.” 
Your dad rolls his eyes. “Well, just to ask,” he argues. 
You shake your head. Same banter between those two for as long as you can remember. They’ve been friends since your dad’s freshman highschool year, and Joel’s senior. Everyone who knows Joel and Scott considers them to be brothers as much as Joel and Tommy.
Cheeks heated, you make your way to the bathroom to freshen up while they’re distracted. You shut the door and comb through your hair with your fingers, straighten your tank top, and wipe away the smudged mascara you didn’t care to wash off earlier. 
When you look half-decent, you wash your hands and walk back to the dining room, choosing to ignore the fact that you just tidied yourself for your dad’s best friend. Totally normal thing to do, right?
Joel is sitting back in the same spot as you found him the first time, your dad in the seat opposite of him. There are three bowls of spaghetti served, one in front of each man, and one beside Joel. You’re not going to complain about that. 
You slide into the seat next to him, flashing him a quick smile when he turns his head to acknowledge you. You swear his gaze lingers for a second, but it’s probably just wishful thinking. 
You look away and dig into your food, zoning out as Joel and your dad talk about work. Joel’s presence beside you fuels your daydreaming, his deep, drawling voice keeping it running. You wish so badly to lean into him, feel the comfort of his embrace. Maybe more. You wish, not for the first time, that he would look at you the way you looked at him. You wish he would—
You jolt when you hear your name in conversation, your spaghetti-filled fork halfway to your mouth. 
“No, I don’t think she’d mind at all, would’ya, honey?” 
Your dad looks expectantly at you. Your eyes dart between him and Joel. 
“Uh, sorry, what?” You ask, your cheeks heating for the second time tonight. 
“Helping Joel out. I know it’s been some years, but it’s just basic stuff. Plus, it’ll be in—” 
“Really, Scott, you don’t have to volunteer her if she don’t want to—” 
“No, no,” you interrupt. “I don’t mind at all.” 
In all honesty, you didn’t think your answer through. You have no idea what you just signed up for. Though, if it’s with Joel, it can’t be too bad. 
“No, really, sweetheart,” Joel interjects. “I wouldn’t wanna have a pretty ‘lil’ thing workin’ away on her summer vacation.”
You turn to look at him, flashing him your sweetest eyes. He called you pretty—you feel like you might explode. “I really don’t mind.” 
He waits for a moment before he clears his throat and turns back to your dad. “Alright then,” he says before taking a sip of his drink. “We leave for Hawaii next Tuesday.” 
You just about choke on your dinner. Your dad laughs. 
“Told you, Joel, she doesn’t listen to a damn thing we say.” 
*****
Hawaii? For two weeks? With Joel? What do you even pack?
You stare at your suitcase, waiting for your closet to help you out and throw something in there. Should you bring sundresses or work clothes? Both, right? Probably both. Maybe more work clothes. You said you’d be helping, after all. But with what? 
God, you should have just paid attention to that damn conversation. 
It’s late Monday night, and you haven’t been able to pick up on enough over-the-phone conversation to get the gist of it. You need to stop being such a wuss and just ask. But that would mean calling Joel. Do you really want to call Joel? 
Well, yes, of course you do. But do you really want to sound awkward around Joel? No, no you don’t. And you know that’s exactly what would be happening over the phone with a man you’ve never talked over the phone with. 
You groan, flopping yourself onto your bed to stare at your ceiling and overthink. You don’t want to overpack, because you don’t want Joel to see that you overpacked. But you also don’t want to underpack, because you don’t want Joel to see that you underpacked, either. This really shouldn’t be that hard. You’re about to get back up, say screw it, and throw a mixture in there, when you hear a knock on your door. 
“Come in,” you call, unmoving.
“Hey, honey,” your dad says as he creeps in. “Just got off the phone with Joel.” 
You sit up at this. “Yeah?” 
“Yeah, he figured you might want some advice on what to pack.” 
Oh thank God. 
“Said he’s gonna be puttin’ you to work, but to bring some pretty clothes if you want. There’s a pool at the place you’ll be workin’ at, and a beach nearby.” 
You nod along, thanking all that is holy that Joel had the idea to give you some input. 
Your dad eyes your empty suitcase and raises a brow in your direction. 
“He’ll be here around 4:00am, so be ready by then.” He looks back at you. “I love you, sweetheart, I’ll see you when you get back.” 
He gives you a hug and closes your door. 
You take Joel’s advice and pack mostly for work—with a few pretty things just in case. 
*****
As expected, Joel’s truck is in your driveway at 4:00am on the dot. You’re in the passenger seat and headed for the airport by 4:03. 
The ride is less tense than you thought it would be, mostly because the two of you are so tired. You’re practically in a coma against the window, the dull classic country music playing quietly from the old truck’s speakers lulling you to sleep. Joel is in about the same mindset, the lazy drumming of his fingers against the wheel the only thing convincing you he’s still awake. 
Buildings pass in a dark blur, everything mushed together into one big half-dream. Joel’s scent fills the cab, sealing the state you’re in. You glance at the clock: 4:48. You blink, and it’s 5:20, the truck is stopped at the airport, and Joel is gently nudging you awake. You squint at him, the cab light rudely intruding, and you can just barely make out the faint smile on his lips. You have a strong urge to lean forward and kiss him, but thankfully you’re conscious enough to not make a complete fool of yourself right now. 
“C’mon, darlin’, we got a plane to catch.” 
You nod, trying to get your bearings. Joel slides out of his side of the truck, and you follow out of yours, getting a good stretch in before leaning back into the cab and retrieving your suitcase from the narrow backseat. When you make your way around the truck to Joel, he gently grabs it from your hand. 
You look at him, mouth open and ready to argue, but he gives you a look that makes you shut it just as quick. Your stomach flutters at the gesture, and you kind of want to slap him for it. Or maybe yourself. Either way, you keep close to him until you’re entering through the sliding doors out front. 
It only takes about an hour to get through TSA and in line to board the plane, but you’re wide awake by then. And hungry. 
“Hey Joel,” you whisper. He hums at you but doesn’t look down. 
“I’m hungry.” 
Now he looks at you. “I don’t think we got time to grab anything now, darlin’, but we should have a layover at LAX in about three hours. Think you can hold tight ‘till then?” 
You nod, trying not to overthink the conversation. It was literally a few words exchanged between the two of you, but it might be the first time you’ve conversed alone outside of your dad’s house. It felt domestic to you in a way that makes you feel like an idiot. It was one conversation. 
Of course, you have to ruin the moment by humming “Party in the USA”. I mean, it’s Joel’s fault. He was the one to mention LAX. 
He laughs and nudges you. “Quit that,” he commands, though you can tell he thinks it’s funny. You giggle but indulge him. 
“Fine,” you draw out. “Somebody hates fun.” 
He scoffs another laugh, but says nothing. 
Finally, the two of you are next to board. You stop around the middle of the plane, and Joel hoists your bags into the compartment above your seats. Then, he moves aside to let you in first. 
“By the window, darlin’,” he says.
You smile with excitement and settle in, Joel sitting next to you a second later. 
“Your dad said somethin’ about it bein’ your first time flyin’, so I figured you might want a window seat,” he explains. 
Your heart warms at this. Why does he have to be so thoughtful? 
“Thank you, Joel,” you say genuinely, flashing him a smile. It may be the lighting, but you swear you see his cheeks pink up just a little before he nods and faces forward. 
The flight goes by relatively quickly. Joel does some sort of paperwork on the little desk in front of him, and you pop your earbuds in and listen to a downloaded playlist while you read. The light romance you chose was cute, but it failed to distract you completely from the hunk of man beside you. 
You’re not sure how many times you caught yourself staring at the flex of his wrist as he wrote whatever down. It was maybe once or twice that your eyes found their way up to his bicep, possibly a few times that they landed on his lower lip, his teeth bitten into it in concentration. You definitely got heated more times than you would’ve liked. And as your book started heating as well, you had to put it down. You really hope it’s not just you that feels this new tension.
For the last twenty minutes or so, you’ve been looking out the window, content to listen to your music and watch the land go by. For the last five, you’ve felt Joel’s eyes on you. You refuse to look back at him, though, just in case it’s your imagination. 
But you swear you can feel the weight of his stare. You fidget, trying to ignore the feeling as you stare out the window and at the clouds. Then you hear a sharp sound from the speakers 
through your earbuds. 
You take them off and look back at Joel as the pilot informs you that you should be landing in about ten minutes. 
He was staring at you, and he didn’t look away. You don’t look away now, either. You don’t say anything.
“Thank you for comin’ with me, darlin’.” 
You’re taken aback. Of course you would go with him. 
“It’s no problem, Joel,” you say. He gives you a short smile. “I mean, really,” you joke. “You’re the one taking me on a free vacation.” 
He smiles fully this time and rolls his eyes. He tends to do that a lot with you. It makes you smile too. 
The speaker dings again:
“Should be some light turbulence, but we’ll be on the ground soon, folks.” 
Joel looks away after the announcement, gathering his work to put back into his bag. You shake yourself off and choose not to acknowledge whatever the hell that was. 
******
You knew LAX would be busy, but. Holy shit. This place is insane. 
You keep close to Joel as he navigates the two of you through the crowds and to your next gate. He keeps slightly in front of you, and you keep getting the urge to grab his hand to keep up, but you don’t. You don’t think you’ve ever seen this many people in one place—and you thought the Austin airport had been overwhelming. 
There are a million shops and restaurants and gates as you make your way down the massive hallways, up and down the escalators, and through trains. It takes an hour and fifteen before you can even see the sign for your gate. Your legs hurt from walking, and your head hurts from all the noise. 
You keep an eye on some of the closer restaurants you pass so that you can backtrack to them and grab a bagel or something before you have to get on your plane. You catch a glimpse of a Burger King when you’re suddenly slammed into. 
You gasp as you’re sent flying onto your ass by a man who couldn’t be bothered to glance your way to see if you’re alright. Joel whips around and sets the bags down, quickly helping you up. 
“Shit, are you alright, darlin’?” he asks, a deep concern in his eyes. Your cheeks are burning with embarrassment even though it wasn’t your fault. 
“Yeah, I’m okay.” 
Joel looks you up and down to make sure as you stand on your own two feet. He turns around, trying to scope out the man who bumped into you, and turns back when he finds that he’s long gone. 
“I’m sorry, honey,” he finally says. “People don’t give a rat’s ass here.” 
You nod, smiling at his choice of words. “I’m alright, Joel.” 
He sighs and picks his bag back up, slinging the large weight over his shoulder, and then picks your suitcase up in one hand. WIth the other, he grabs onto yours. His hand is rough but warm and comforting. 
“Just stay close ‘till we get to the gate.”
Practically glowing, you hold onto him and let him lead the way. It only takes a few more minutes before he’s telling you to sit down at the waiting area. 
“I’m gonna grab you somethin’ to eat, ‘nd I’ll be right back.” 
You decide to read while he’s on his errand, picking your book back up to a particularly smutty part. You’re not going to pretend like you aren’t picturing the characters as you and Joel as he eats her out on a countertop. You bite your lip, consuming each word with fervor.
You’re just finishing the chapter when Joel strolls up with two breakfast sandwiches, a coffee, and an orange juice. He hands you a sandwich and the latter drink, and takes the seat next to you with a groan. 
“Probably have at least thirty minutes,” he grumbles. 
You nod as you thank him and unwrap your sandwich. It’s silent for a few minutes, before you can’t bear it and break the peace. 
“What all are we going to be doing?” 
Joel looks at you, almost flustered. He must have misheard you. “Huh?” 
“Like when we get there, what are we going to be working on?” 
“Oh, uh,” he clears his throat and takes a sip of his coffee. “Mostly flooring ‘nd some drywall, but there should be somethin’ to do in the kitchen if I’m hearin’ right.” 
You nod and take a bite of your sandwich. Joel continues. 
“Should have a few days to relax, though, if we get everythin’ done in time.” 
Your stomach flips at the thought. A few days to relax with Joel. 
“Sounds easy enough,” you say. 
Joel nods again. “Atta girl.”
“Flight 332 is ready to begin boarding.” 
You and Joel take the last bites of your sandwich in silence and stand up to get in line once again. This flight is going to be longer, about six hours. 
Joel throws your trash away and comes back to grab your bags. Same as last time, you have a seat by the window. Not like it matters much in the long run, because just after Joel takes his seat and the plane takes off, your head falls onto his shoulder, and you promptly fall asleep. 
******
Thank you for reading!! Part two should be coming soon.
Itty bitty mini taglist: @callachloe @kewwrites @casa-boiardi @pastawench (love you guys)
Pls let me know if you would like to be tagged in pt. 2!
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iheartz4starzz · 2 days
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NEVER THERE 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚
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husband!chuuya x f.reader
SYNOPSIS: you only get to see your husband, chuuya, once a day, which is late at night when you're about to go to sleep. the next morning, you always wake up to him gone.
TW: slight angst, but dw, it'll be fluff at the end, might be a few grammar mistakes
NOTES: fun fact: a lot of these oneshots are based on my c.ai chats <3
Btw I never specified if the reader was taller or shorter than Chuuya, so you can just imagine it urself. ^^
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You heard the door unlock, revealing a redhead mafioso, who peaked his head into the room. He let out a sigh and stepped through the door, running a hand through his hair as he set his hat onto his nightstand.
"Doll, did you wait f'me again?" Chuuya asked and crossed his arms.
There you were, sitting on your guys shared bed with your phone in hand. You were playing mobile games while waiting for your beloved to return home after a long days worth of work.
"Yeah. It doesn't feel the same when you're not here next to me when I sleep." You replied, averting your gaze with a slight pout.
Chuuya let out another sigh, but couldn't help but chuckle and smile warmly at how cute his wife was. He quickly showered and changed into his bedtime clothes before getting into the sheets next to you.
Resting your cheek on your husbands toned chest, you let out a breath of contentment before closing your eyes. The sound of his steady heartbeat and the warmth of his arms was soothing for you, which was perfect to help you sleep.
"How was work today?" You asked with a yawn, trying to keep yourself awake.
"Fine. I had to fix a smuggling deal that one of my stupid subordinates messed up." Chuuya sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
You laughed, then snuggling closer to the redhead. You let out another yawn, to which Chuuya noticed and ran his fingers through you (h/c) hair. "You're tired, doll. Go to sleep now."
You shook your head in protest, blinking your eyes. "Nuh-uh! I want to spend more time with you, so I need to stay awake."
Chuuya shook his head and pressed a gentle kiss against your forehead. "Sleep now."
"But I-"
"No buts."
You sighed, closing your eyes to let your sleepiness consume you. Before you could final succumb to your slumber, you looked up at Chuuya with tired eyes.
"Will you be here next to me when I wake up?"
Chuuya could only bite the inside of his cheek and shake his head. "No doll, I'm sorry. I have work tomorrow."
You nodded and closed your eyes. "I love you, Chuuya."
"I love you to, (Name)."
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The next morning, you woke up per usual to Chuuya not next to you. You let out a sigh of disappointment and stretched, then moving your feet to over the edge of the bed. You unplugged your phone from your charger and noticed a note and a red rose sitting on your nighstand.
You took the letter and read it, smiling in the end. The letter said:
'Dear (Name),
I'm sorry I can't be there to greet you in the morning. I promise I'll make it up to you next time with a bunch of presents, love, and kisses.
I love you.
Your husband, Chuuya.'
Though the letter was sweet, you couldn't help but frown in disappointment. That's what he would always say when you brought up the fact that he was never there for you. Pushing the thoughts down, you got up from bed and headed to your office to start working.
Usually you stayed home, due to the fact you were a stay-at-home wife, and partially of the fact you also worked from home. It was only those one times you went outside if you wanted to go shopping.
One work was finished, you went to the kitchen to make dinner and clean up around the penthouse. Once again, you ate dinner alone and left leftovers for Chuuya to eat once he got home. You then got ready for bed and got under the covers, bringing out your phone and began to wait till Chuuya came home.
Another hour passed, and Chuuya was still not home. You let out a sigh and laid sprawled out on the bed, starfish style. Bringing your arm up into the air, you stared at the hand with a ring wrapped around your ring finger. You chewed the inside of your cheek and rested that hand on your chest. You yearned for Chuuya's love, and missed him dearly.
Just then, the door to the bedroom unlocked, revealing the redhead who walked inside with a tired expression.
"Hey, Doll. I'm back." He greeted you with a smile.
"Welcome home." You replied and sat up.
After Chuuya was done with getting ready for bed, he got under the covers with you. Chuuya let out a sigh and wrapped his arms around you, pressing a kiss against your forehead.
"I missed you." Chuuya told you.
You stayed quiet for a moment before responding. "I missed you to. But, you're not going to be here next to me when I wake up..."
Chuuya frowned. He felt a twinge of guilt in his heart and began to rub your back apologetically. "I know, I know. I'm sorry, (Name). You know how my boss is."
Suddenly, Chuuya heard sniffling. He watched you sit up from his arms and bury your face into your hands, beginning to cry. Chuuya felt his heart shatter to see you sobbing because of him. Chuuya sat up quickly and rubbed your back.
"(Name)?" He mumbled quietly, his soft voice laced with concern and worry. "Hey, what's wrong, baby?"
"I-I'm sorry. It's just that— I miss you so much, Chuuya. I only see you one time a day because you always come late from work." You sobbed and wiped your tears. "But every time I stare at my ring, I have to keep reminding myself that I have a husband! But it feels like I don't, because you're never here!"
Chuuya didn't know how to reply, and only felt his guilt increase from hearing your pain and yearn for his love. Chuuya cupped your cheek, turning you face towards him. "(Name), I—"
"Am I pushing you away? Am I to clingy? Is that why you're spending so much time at work instead of at home with me? Your wife?" You interrupted Chuuya, sniffling again. "Is your job really more important than your wife? Do you still love me?"
Chuuya's eyes widened when he heard that last question. He quickly brought you into a tight hug, burying his face into the crook of your neck. "No, I still love you! And you're not pushing me away, (Name)—"
Chuuya took a deep breath before continuing. "You're not pushing me away, love. I would never allow that to happen, because you're the most important woman in my life. I love you far to much to ever let you go. It's just... it's my job."
"But wouldn't Mori understand that you have a wife at home? You're not just some mindless pawn for his use! You're your own person, Chuuya!" You argued, tears streaming down your cheeks. "N-No, I'm sorry. I understand that you're doing this for the both of us. I understand that you're working really hard to have a roof over our heads..."
"(N-Name), don't just brush if off like that," Chuuya stammered, cupping both of your cheeks. He let out a sigh before pressing a kiss against your lips. "I'll see what I can do, alright? Just... please don't cry. I can't bare to see you like this."
You nodded and laid back down in bed with Chuuya, wrapped in his arms. You sniffled again and wiped the left tears on your cheeks, your eyes puffy and red. "I'm sorry, Chuuya. I just don't want you to overwork yourself."
"I know, Doll. I understand where your pain is coming from, I really want to do something about it." Chuuya replied and brought your closer to him, pressing a kiss against your forehead. "I love you, (Name). Don't think to much about it, okay?"
You nodded once more. "I love you to, Chuuya."
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The next morning, you stirred from your sleep, blinking your eyes awake and looked to your side. Frowning to see that Chuuya wasn't there, you got up and ran a hand over your face.
'Don't be such a bad wife, (Name). Chuuya is doing this for both you and him. At least appreciate what he's doing.' You told yourself and got up from bed, making your way to the kitchen to make breakfast.
As soon as you left the bedroom, the smell of eggs and bacon wafted through the air, tingling your taste buds. You breathed in the smell, licking your lips as you approached the kitchen. You peaked around the corner, your eyes widening to see Chuuya standing at the stove with a apron that said 'Kiss The Cook.'
"Chuuya?"
Chuuya jolted and turned around, quickly turning off the stove and smiled at you warmly. "Morning, Doll."
You teared up, smiling as you ran towards Chuuya, crushing in a hug. "Agh! W-Why are you crying?" Chuuya frantically asked, wiping your tears away with his thumb.
"N-No, it's happy tears, Chuuya! Happy tears!" You repeated, laughing at his misconception.
Chuuya smiled and cupped your cheeks, giving you a morning kiss. "You're such a crybaby." He teased and flicked your forehead.
You whined and held your forehead, pouting as you looked up at Chuuya. The two of you laughed it off in the end. Chuuya wrapped his arms around your waist and you wrapped your arms around his neck. The two of you connected lips, the kiss strong, passionate, yet gentle at the same time.
After a few moments, the couple broke the kiss and smiled at each other. You rested your forehead against Chuuya's, eyes closed as the two of your soaked in the moment.
"I love you, Chuuya." You whispered.
"I love you to, (Name)." He replied, pressing a kiss against your forehead.
"Soo... Kiss the Cook, eh?"
"Shut up!"
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ENDING NOTE: i didn't want to make readers wife role seem to clingy, or to unappreciative. i hope i didn't make anybody upset with reader, tho.
luv u all! <3
-mai
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slasher-jax · 2 days
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Can you write a muti slasher with an s/o that does this ⬆️
I belive you mean that they eat kinda lasily so that what I'll write. :)
Characters: Thomas Hewitt, Art the Clown, Nubbins Sawyer, Bubba Sawyer, and Chop-Top Sawyer
Tired Eater
Art the Clown
Genuinely leaves you there
Tries to wake you up by snapping in your face
^gives up about five minutes later
Can't be bothered to wait for you
Will leave you there and come back later to pick you up
Tries to mime at you to get you to hurry up
Thomas Hewitt
Is very worried
Taps his momma's shoulder to ask her what to do
^Gets told to try and help you eat at least a little bit, then lead you up do bed
If Hoyt even tries anything, Thomas is chuncking him into a wall
^Fr, he got grounded (he wasn't allowed to see you for three hours)
Takes all the beatings for you
At first he thinks it's heat exhaustion so he tries to make sure you're not over-working yourself
^And god forbid he find out Hoyt is making you push yourself way past your limits
Nubbins Sawyer
You think you can be tired at a table with this guy?!
You are highly mistaken
He is, without a doubt, hooping and hollering, shaking you, shaking the table
He's shaking everything to keep you awake
Drayton yells at him a few times to cut it out
I like the idea that Drayton is a lot sweeter towards you rather than his brothers, so if you are still trying to eat after everyone else is done, he'll come over and gently shake you, tell you to go on up to bed, and that he's got the dishes tonight
Nubby doesn't understand why you're feeling this way, but he will grab you like a koala grabs a tree and hold onto you all night long, just to (try) to make sure you get enough sleep (should I start writing a series about how they sleep?)
Bubba Sawyer
So worried
He, like Thomas, is also worried that you might have gotten heat exhaustion
Despite Drayton yelling at him not to, he grabs you and carries you down to the basement with your food, hoping that it would be cooler down there so you could eat
He sits with you and helps feed you as well, hoping to help you feel better
He starts doing his chores quicker so he can start helping you with yours, hoping you won't get so exhausted
Chop-Top Sawyer
Again, he is hooping and hollaring, if you can still be tired through that, then even I'm worried about you
It kinda ends in the same way as Nubbins, however he is more worried about you then Nubbins
He knows a bit more, and knows it can still be pretty hot, so you probably have heat exhaustion
He tries getting you a fan, laying down on the floor with you (you ended up just falling asleep) but eventually, he just shook you awake and fed you
^Wouldn't suggest that tho as he can get kinda finicky when anywhere around your face, so he will start shaking and probably accidentally stab the roof of your mouth with the utensils he was using to feed you :|
Anyways, hope you enjoyed. Sorry it took me so long. I have another ask in my box that I will start working on soon.
@puppet200 @purpleeggyboi @th3-r4t-48 @zeroisreallygood @im-a-simp898 @artsycrow46 @evry1h8s-me @aflairforthemelodramaticc @caretaleandotherstuff
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mcflymemes · 7 hours
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PROMPTS FROM SONGS ON MY PLAYLIST *  assorted lines from random songs, adjust as necessary
i can't forget this evening, or your face as you were leaving.
you always smile, but in your eyes your sorrow shows.
the sun is going down. it's getting dark.
you look bewildered.
i can't give anymore.
you know i want to do it again.
better things will come our way.
you were always there for me.
i know it's not mine, but i'll see if i can use it.
i see the light in your window.
you know i tried, and i'm sorry.
kiss me if you mean all the things that you say.
one night can make a difference.
please don't leave me hanging.
it's just heartbreaking.
i've got such a long way to go.
i don't want to do your dirty work.
i want you to know that i'm happy for you.
i should have known that it would let me down.
i used to dream about this town.
it's such a shame about it.
there's always magic in the air.
they're dead wrong. i know they are.
nobody's supposed to be here.
tell me what's wrong.
put your arms around me, baby.
show me where you've been.
it may sound funny, but i've come to get my money back.
i know you like what you see.
there is no way you can deny it.
you were always sure of yourself.
who's to blame?
i've had enough of walking from place to place.
you're not what we're looking for.
honestly, i'm not trying to be anybody but me.
can i see you later?
i kinda hope we get stuck.
do you think anybody's actually gonna dance to this?
the answers you seek will never be found at home.
i don't want to leave the comfort of this place.
let's make our escape.
i feel like i'm alive for the very first time.
it's been a while.
i'm not sure why i called.
i was thinking maybe later on we could get together for a while.
it's been such a long time and i really do miss your smile.
it really doesn't matter much to me.
i won't ask for promises, so you don't have to lie.
watch out. you might get what you're after.
we're in for nasty weather.
here's your ticket.
you might need a raincoat.
you can go. sleep at home tonight.
who are you?
i really want to know.
god, there's got to be another way.
it's the one good thing that i've got.
i would really, really love to stick around.
i think there's something you should know.
you made a lot of mistakes.
hey, it happens to us all.
you can do what you think is impossible.
don't close your eyes.
i want your love.
don't look back.
it's only been a week or two.
sooner or later, you'll come rolling back to me.
it gets so lonely here inside my head.
what's wrong with right here on the counter?
i had to stop for the night.
please bring me my wine.
last thing i remember, i was running for the door.
you can check out any time you like but you can never leave.
i'm just in awe of what's in front of me.
i'm sipping wine in a robe.
i look too good to be alone.
every word that i say is coming straight from the heart.
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🚨 🚨 ‼️ 🇨🇳🇭🇰 HK/CHINESE SUOPOST V2 PART 1 HAS LANDED!!
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I never thought it would see the light of day because this draft got deleted like, 2 times and running. But it's here. It's finally here.
Below the cut is another long and lengthy Suopost V2 about his inherent Chineseness and, may I now congratulate, even further Hong Kongness! Not only that, but now we have Endo Yamato also starting to show signs of diagnosable Chineseness, and because my CN friend and I are ridiculously tweaky when it comes to overanalyzing characters who show even a smidge of Chinese in their eyes—this post was born! Sadly, because I am slow as hell when it comes to writing, this post only contains 11,000 words discussing Suo Hayato. You'll need to wait for Part 2 if you want to see me Hallelujahpost and Chinkpost Endo Yamato... blame my stupid baka life.
Now feast your eyes upon me having to correct my own errors in analysis that turns out to reveal even more Chinese connotations 😭😭😭💪!! This is VERY VERY long and has genuine deep analysis regarding a lot of China/HK culture/like 8 seconds of politics and 15 minutes of history + the weight behind some symbolism in Suo's name + theories regarding Suo's arc + Suo's absolutely yappable connection to 儒家思想/Confucianism.
Later in Part 2, we'll talk about Endo Yamato's biblical symbolism + alchemical influence + his connections to Suo, and how I can jokingly chinkpost him lol. I'll also be uploading a Reddit version of this post onto r/WindBreakerManga either tomorrow or the day after because I have to re-format a lot of things.
So strap in for a long and potentially mind-exploding ride because this is what happened to me while researching/writing all this. BTW, feel free to spam live commentary at me using Tumblr's comment function or something because I'd love to hear your thoughts while reading this whole gigantanorstus assfuck of a post... I'm not okay. I think I went insane. Niisato needs to pay me USD 1,664,800 for a new heart because I think mine stopped beating multiple times during research.
Before we begin, I'd like to tell everyone who has read my previous Suo chinkpost (v1) to DISREGARD EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT SUO'S FLOWER BEING PLUM BLOSSOMS. You'd think I'd be devastated to find out I have to retcon an entire analysis because I picked out the wrong flower. You'd be expecting Suo to lose Chinese aurapoints. I shit you not: he auramaxxed HARDER. It's like opening a Pandora's Box; you learn about the real flower and then 5 trillion more connotations are thrown at you at Mach 20. It is more over than I thought possible when I wrote the traditionally symbolic Chinese boypreggers marriage room part. And one connection caused me to spiral into another, thus stretching this post's wordcount into unholy numbers 😭
Anyway.
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In Suopost v1, I thought these fuckass flowers [IMG 1] next to Suo were plum blossoms [IMG 2] and, ngl! They look plenty like them. But after I read this mind-blowing char analysis + theory document made by u/Snowy-kitten, my jaw fell as:
Oops, Suo's name means Chinese redbud [IMG 3], and if Sakura's flowers are sakura, then Suo's flowers should be redbuds. Damn, I got it wrong, time to rewrite my Suopost. Sorry for spreading misinformation gu—
...What are these flowers called in Chinese anyway?
why do i hear boss musicHOLY SHIT OH MY GOD THEY'RE CALLED 紫荊花. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH M
Taken directly from the wonderful and super informative document which I highly advise you to read to fully understand this post, especially if you have time:
Su (蘇) – sappanwood, a wood that can be made into medicine used to improve blood circulation, treat wounds, and alleviate pain. It also symbolizes revival, resurrection
O (枋) – sappanwood or a tough wooden plank that can be used for crafting, maybe symbolizing the bridge of communication between other characters?
Suo (蘇枋) – Sappanwood, a deciduous shrub of the legume family (ie a small shrub that loses all its leaves in winter), or Chinese redbud, symbolizing family harmony, can be used as treatment for fever (No wonder why Sakura recovered after Suo visited him)
Haya (隼) – Falcon, a symbol of nobility (high status + wealth) in Japan, also symbolizes bravery, power and vision, is an icon of pursuit and movement, heading toward success (Falcon in other cultures also symbolizes freedom, which might have something to do with Suo’s dream – the liberation of slaves)
To (飛) – Fly or Flight
Hayato (隼飛) – Flying Falcon
Analysis: Most likely the key to the success of Sakura or Bofurin’s rebirth, if Sakura became the leader of Bofurin, Suo would most likely be his right-hand, just like Hiiragi and Umemiya
- Although Chinese redbud symbolizes family harmony in Chinese culture, it also symbolizes betrayal/death due to betrayal in the Bible
- Unlike other characters, Suo’s name contains more than one species of tree, would this be a hint of him having more than one identity, hence the traitor theory?*
*I'll elaborate with my own understanding on the traitor theory expanded from the information I've gotten from u/Snowy-kitten's document. Please please pleaser read their theories and their analyses!! It's super super good and deserves so much credit and a lot of this post is built from it.
-
1. Suo and the 'Chinese Redbud'
Suo's name is extremely fucking insane if viewed from a cultural lens — specifically the symbolism of the 'Chinese redbud' as well as some themes of the 'sappanwood'.
If you're from HK you might already be freaking out with me when you saw those three Chinese characters: 紫荊花, AKA the Chinese name of Suo's second plant after the sappanwood. You might be thinking, User Psychiwavementality, is it truly joever as it is? Is there no coming barack from the HK suoposting? Have we found salvation? Is Suo from Hong Kong, better yet, the Wind Breaker version of Sun Yee On or 14K???
I have to sadly inform you: no. 🥲 Suo's flower is NOT the bauhinia, known as the '洋紫荊' yang zijing/bauhinia x blakeana/羊蹄甲屬 (yang ti jia shu) which happens to be the official flower of Hong Kong.
Suo's flower is the '紫荊花', or the zijing hua/cercis chinensis, which, in China, can be found in southwest Guangdong, southern Guangxi, and southeastern Yunnan the most. <- These could be places Suo hails from!
However, the Chinese redbud/ZJH and the Bauhinia/YZJ are often used interchangeably (and also incorrectly), causing confusion and mix-ups between both flowers, as HK's 'yang zijing' is sometimes shortened directly to 'zijing'.
Outside of WBK, this shortening is a topic of political discussion. For reference, there is debate around the could-be or could-not-be intentional omission of the 洋 (yang) character in Mainland China when referring to the yang zijing (making it simply zijing (hua) and not the YZJ) as well as how it affects HK.
There was discussion when the HK's Gov. omitted the 'yang' and referred the YZJ as the 'zijing hua' in our Basic Law. If you want to get a gist of the discussion it feel free to Google Translate this image because mobile Tumblr only lets me embed 10 images and I need to use it sparingly lol.
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From Wikipedia:
洋紫荊作為香港法定代表花卉,在《香港特別行政區基本法》第一章第十條提述香港區旗及區徽時被稱作「紫荊花」,英文版則使用泛指羊蹄甲屬的「bauhinia」。然而「紫荊花」一名除在中國南方多泛指羊蹄甲屬外,也可以泛指紫荊亞科的其他花卉,甚至特指紫荊屬物種紫荊(Cercis chinensis)的花。紫荊與洋紫荊兩個物種的花朵外觀有顯著分別,但因中國大陸媒體多依照「紫荊花」一名來宣傳香港市花[註 3],引致部分中國大陸民眾誤以為香港市花為紫荊的花。
(Edited MTL):
As the legal representative flower of Hong Kong, Bauhinia is called "紫荊花 (ZJH)" when referring to the Hong Kong regional flag and regional emblem in Article 10 of Chapter 1 of the Basic Law of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region.
The English version uses "bauhinia" which generally refers to the genus Bauhinia. However, the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)", in addition to generally referring to the genus Cercis chinensis in southern China, can also generally refer to other flowers of the subfamily Bauhinia, and even specifically refers to the flowers of the genus Cercis chinensis.
There are significant differences in the appearance of the flowers of the two species, Cercis chinensis and Bauhinia x blakeana. However, because the mainland Chinese media mostly uses the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)" to promote the municipal flower of Hong Kong, some people in mainland China mistakenly believe that the municipal flower of Hong Kong is the 紫荊花 (ZJH).
(I'm not shitting you when I tell you even Google Translate didn't pick up on the nuances between yang zijing and zijing hua 😭😭 also the scientific names have me tripping so the MTL might be wrong yet I'm too blurry to correct it properly... if any native Chinese speaker wants to write a proper TL in the comments I allow you to help me!!)
2. What does this mean for Suo?
The Lack of '洋 (yang)':
(This part touches a little on HK/China/UK history and politics.)
Now that you know the difference between the 'yang zijing' and the 'zijing hua', let me explain some possible symbolism that Suo might carry by having the ZJH as his other plant and not the YZJ.
In Chinese, '洋' means 'foreign'. And yes, Suo likes foreign tea and cakes. Anyway, some people think that the omission of '洋’ is a way to be politically accurate as it may carry connotations of HK being colonized by the UK, and the Mainland Gov. is known to be against the colonization of Hong Kong, often being reluctant to admit that HK belonged to the UK in a brief period of history after signing an unequal treaty. The Mainland Gov. commonly asserts that HK has always been a part of China even during the colonial period, claiming that HK was rightfully returned to its roots on the 1st of July, 1997.
Hence, there is the omittance of 'yang/foreign' from 'yang zijing', whether unintentional or not, when referring to HK's flower, resulting in many current-gen Mainlanders referring to it as the ZJH, which if intentional, could be used as a way to linguistically minimize the alienation between HK and China.
Theories/Speculation as to why it was omitted:
There are multitudes of reasons why Nii Satoru could have chosen to use the ZJH instead of the YZJ in Suo's name.
On a practical level, one reason may be because Suo's name is intended to have double meanings—sappanwood and the Chinese redbud—to show that he has two sides to him, most likely being connections to Chinese culture. Nii Satoru might have been unable to use this two-sided symbolism if he used the YZJ instead, hence why he used the ZJH instead of the YZJ; furthermore, there is a cultural story that comes with the ZJH that could very well coincide and foreshadow Suo's arc which I will explain soon. I personally think this is the most likely reason.
Another practical reason is that Nii Satoru genuinely had no idea there was a difference between the YZJ and the ZJH and, if he ends up revealing that Suo is a born-and-raised in HK lad, he made an honest mistake while trying to hint at Suo being from Hong Kong.
Nii Satoru could also not want to be too 'on-the-nose' when hinting at Suo having correlations to HK, OR he wanted to imply that Suo was originally from China and immigrated to HK at a young age — or it could be hinting at his ancestors moving from China to HK, which was common back in the 'golden era of HK' spurred forward by its advancement in the film industry as well as budding business opportunities for being an international trading hub. Either way, it could have meant to be a nod towards Suo being from China and not Japan/HK etc.
On a theory/canon level, Suo could have intentionally chose this Japanese name for himself and intentionally omitted the '洋 (yang)'/'foreign' character. He could've done it because he dislikes its implications, that he's a stranger in a foreign land (Japan). Or he could be touchy about his identity as a 'foreigner' — what differentiates him from the Japanese? Hence why he dresses and expresses himself so Chinese-ly — or he could've done it to show that he's freeing himself of his roots — people who leave their OG culture behind often become walking time capsules of That Particular Period, and the loss of '洋 (yang)' could also imply he's losing his connections to Hong Kong/the triad. The latter ties in with my tiny theory that Suo's hair is short because he cut it as a way to symbolize him breaking away from his shixiong/shidi, yet his past still haunts him in the way his tassel earrings resemble long hair at times. (The flower meaning of ZJH is also very very in line with this latter theory. I will elaborate more in my next part about the meaning of the Chinese redbud/ZJH.)
Suo could also be omitting this character on purpose to reconnect with his Chinese side after immigrating to HK and then Japan, I suppose? This might be EXTREMELY controversial to show in HK/China if he shows bias towards one side's culture by stepping away from the other, and I don't see a way this can be written without stomping on one side's good graces + provoking political disgruntlement amongst HK/CN readers, so this is probably not going to be an option up for consideration (hopefully).
Furthermore, if Suo also shows favor of JP culture/claiming that he's JP over being HK/CN as his arc and that he's abandoning his past identity as a Chinese/HK person, I promise you that some CN readers might become unhappy as there are long-standing grudges between the Chinese and the Japanese from WW2 that are too long to elaborate here. If you're curious to learn about it, search up 'Nanjing Massacre' and 'Unit 731' to see for yourself — please heed a TW for extreme brutality and inhumane torture.
OK, this is the last of all things political, but I promise the historical part will still continue. Let's move on.
3. The Meaning and Stories Behind the Zijing Hua/Chinese Redbud and The Yang Zijing/Bauhinia x blakeana
In Chinese culture, the Chinese redbud/zijing hua has a well-known cultural story behind it. It is deeply tied to the flower meaning of the Chinese redbud -- which has core symbolisms of familial reunion/love (親情) and brotherly harmony (兄弟和睦). And to any SuoSaku enjoyer's delight, they also symbolize steadfast love, passion, and affection; it is known to be a well-received gift for husbands and wives; it can even symbolize a strong and loyal friendship (if you're into that). The growth structure of a Chinese redbud, as said by a user in an online Chinese forum to whom I will graciously quote:
3、倔强坚强
紫荆花的花语为倔强坚强,紫荆花的花朵生长的十分紧凑,就算在阴雨天气,叶片被大风所吹动,不断摇慎态摆,也不会掉落,好似一位倔强的人,永远不会向困难低头,努力拼搏,最终收获成功。
(Edited MTL):
3. Stubborn and strong
The flower language of the zijing hua is stubbornness and strength. The flowers of the zijing hua grow very compactly. Even in rainy weather, the leaves are blown by strong winds and keep swaying cautiously, but they will not fall off. Just like a stubborn person, they will never bow their head to difficulties, work hard and exert oneself to the utmost, and ultimately achieve success.
It can also symbolize new beginnings, just like Sakura's sakura:
紫荊花的象徵意義 紫荊花象徵著愛情、美麗和純潔。 在中國傳統文化中,紫荊花還被視為春天的使者,寓意著新生命和新的希望。
(Edited MTL)
The symbolic meaning of zijing hua symbolises love, beauty and purity. In traditional Chinese culture, the zijing hua is also regarded as the messenger of spring, implying new life and new hope.
Moving on to English sources, I've basically learned that the Chinese redbud:
Is not resistant to winter frost, but is generally able to survive the cold. Suo's favorite season may be winter, but both the sappanwood and the Chinese redbud are not resistant to either the cold or frost, with the first losing all its leaves in winter and the second potentially dying to snow/frost (like most plants lol.) Despite being resistant to the rain and heat of spring and summer and being able to tolerate degrees under 38°C (remember Suo not breaking a sweat when training in the summer with Furin?), Chinese redbuds fall short when it comes to braving brutal winters, thriving best when the temperature is above 10°C.
They bloom during spring, around March-April. Could this be a parallel as to why Suo idolizes Ume, the 'plum blossom' that can bloom in the cold of winter? For being able to stay resilient and stand proudly/beautifully even amidst harsh and stressful conditions?
Has many parts can be utilized for traditional Chinese medicine, cooking, and decoration. The wood and the bark have been used to treat abscesses, bladder ailments, and head troubles. Treats bladder diseases, post-partum discharges, bleeding piles, and internal parasites; its flowers are used for relieving rheumatic muscles and joint pain. Even the flowers can be eaten raw or pickled, containing vitamin C with a fresh and acidic taste. The bark of young shoots can be used to weave baskets, as the wood of Cercis species is generally of good quality. -> Suo's plants can both weave baskets and act as good wood...
Is also known for its ornamental purposes, and has a neighboring family tree—the Cercis siliquastrum, known as the 'Judas Tree', which is a symbol of betrayal. Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus and committed suicide by hanging himself from a redbud tree. Additionally, I was told by my friend that u/Snowy-kitten realized the kanji for Suo's name is is 蘇枋(すおう), but the tree he represents is Chinese redbud (花蘇芳/ハナズオウ/hanazuou in Japanese). 蘇枋 and 蘇芳 are pronounced the same and one of the hanakotoba (flower language) of 花蘇芳 is apparently death by betrayal.
While the Chinese redbud/ZJH is known for these traits, the YZJ is a little bit different; it was difficult to find meanings and symbolism for the Bauhinia x blakeana due to it being a lesser-known flower + a sterile hybrid flower.
Locally, the leaves of the YZJ are considered "clever leaves" and a symbol of wisdom; sometimes harvested to be dried into bookmarks to bring good luck in studies.
The Bauhinia x blakeana is a hybrid between the Bauhinia purpurea and then Bauhinia variegata. But I could not find anything about the symbolism of the Bauhinia purpurea... I looked at some other ones in the Bauhinia genus, though.
From what I found, the genus has flowers that typically represent new beginnings (is he twinning Sakura?), feminine beauty (he's still ♂ fertile ♂ like that), grace, elegance, and nobility.
Bauhinia kappleri:
Historically, it has been seen as a symbol of unity due to its bilobed leaves resembling joined hands. This symbolism was especially prominent in cultures that valued harmony and cohesiveness. [...] Pink Bauhinia represents grace, unity, and resilience. Its delicate yet sturdy appearance communicates a balance of beauty and strength. [...] In Chinese culture, for instance, it symbolizes renewal and new beginnings [...] Meanwhile, in Western contexts, it often represents appreciation and noble elegance.
Bauhinia acuminata:
The Bauhinia acuminata's striking appearance symbolizes beauty, elegance, and grace. It is often associated with the ideals of feminine beauty and charm. In some cultures, these blossoms are seen as symbols of new beginnings and growth, making them popular choices for weddings and other celebrations.
Bauhinia variegata:
1. [...] the white orchid has held reverence throughout Chinese culture and stands as a symbol of nobility, beauty, and innocence.
2. The Orchid Tree holds symbolic meaning in several cultures. In India, it is associated with love, fertility, and prosperity, often featured in weddings and religious ceremonies. In Chinese culture, Bauhinia variegata is a symbol of beauty, grace, and the fleeting nature of life.
Bauhinia x blakeana in Chinese Sources:
在中國文化中,紫色常代表高貴與權力,而洋紫荊則代表了優雅和力量。 此外,洋紫荊還象徵著團結和繁榮,這也使它成為許多盛大活動的首選花卉。
(Edited MTL)
In Chinese culture, the color purple often represents nobility and power, while the yang zijing represents elegance and strength. In addition, the yang zijing symbolizes unity and prosperity, which makes it the flower of choice for many grand events.
I have a headache. 🤕 Am I just yapping or was this all preordained by Nii Satoru?
Do you still remember that Suo's earrings are made of coral? The very coral that symbolizes a lofty status, auspiciousness, nobility, power, and eternity? 🤕
It's all coming together...
The Story of Three Brothers and the Zijing Hua Tree/田真兄弟:
This story could very well be a direct hint towards Suo's future martial siblings + how his arc will end. I vaguely remember(?) studying this passage for DSE unseen 文言文s so I managed to find it again. I'll cross-reference and do a direct word-to-word translation. If you understand Chinese I recommend just reading the 文言文 because it has more of the OG meaning 💪
原文/Original:
京兆田真兄弟三人,共议分财。生资皆平均,唯堂前一株紫荆树,共议欲破三片。翌日就截之,其树即枯死,状如火然。真往见之,大愕,谓诸弟曰:“树本同株,闻将分斫,固憔悴,是人不如木也。” 因悲不自胜,不复解树。树应声荣茂,兄弟相感,遂和睦如初。
註釋/Glossary
(1)京兆:京城地區。
(2)生資:生活資料。
(3)皆:都。
(4)唯:只有。
(5)破:使之破為。
(6)就:開始。
(7)即:立即;立刻。
(8)狀:形狀;狀態。
(9)然:通假字,同“燃”,燃燒。
(10)翌日:第二天
(11)愕:驚訝。
(12)諸:眾;
(13)斫(zhuó):砍。
(14)勝:承受;控制。
(15)憔悴:枯死。
(16)故:所以。
(17)解:分解。
(18)其:他家的。
(19) 堂:門。
(20)株:棵。
(21)遂:於是。
句子翻譯/Sentence TLs:
1、翌日就截之:第二天就準備截斷它。
2、狀如火然:形狀像被火燃燒過一樣。
3、樹木同株,聞將分斫,故憔悴,是人不如木也:樹本來是同根的,聽到要砍斷分開,所以枯死了,我們人都不如樹木。
4、樹應聲榮茂:紫荊樹聽到(田真的)話後(立刻)枝葉繁茂(了起來)。
My attempt at an English TL:
In the capital city [Beijing], the three Tianzhen brothers divided their property. All other assets [means of living] had already been evenly divided; all except the Chinese redbud tree/zijing tree in front of the door. They discussed and agreed to split the tree into three pieces each. The next day, they prepared to cut the tree down, but the tree immediately withered to death, as if it had been torched by a flame. The oldest brother looked at the sight and was extremely stunned, saying to his younger brothers: "This tree is originally from the same root. It heard it was going to be separated after it was felled, and thus, it withered. We, as humans, were no match for/couldn't live up to even a tree."
Because they were unable to bear with/contain their remorse, the brothers decided not to cut the tree. When the Chinese redbud/zijing tree heard the eldest brother's words, it immediately sprouted flowers once more. The Tianzhen brothers were astonished and emotional and thus returned to their harmonious relationship from the beginning.
From this, I'm heavily inclined to believe that:
Suo is one of three brothers/martial siblings.
Suo left/they left Suo due to family issues or family inheritance trials.
Suo's arc will end well, with all brothers reaching an understanding and becoming friendly again.
OR, Suo is the Chinese redbuds/zijing tree in this scenario.
Suo might end up facing Endo because the passage mentions 'as if it had been torched by a flame [状如火然]'. Endo's name is '棪堂' -> this also means something else which u/Snowy-kitten mentioned, it being 'a tree that bears edible red fruit' in Chinese, which contributes to Endo's biblestuff. But let's analyze it later in Endo's part.
Chinese can somewhat be considered playing Pictionary—if you separate the words from 「棪堂」 into three: 「木」、「炎」、「堂」, you could literally interpret this as, in 文言文/Classical Chinese, 「Tree/Wood」、「Flames Rising」、「Courtyard/Doorfront」
This coincides with the "Chinese redbud tree/ZJH" looking as if it "had been torched aflame" in front of the house/the courtyard/the door.
In conclusion, this might allude to Suo having to fight Endo, or Endo having to fight Suo to get him back due to a family feud—and Suo might get heavily injured. His martial brothers might realize the impact of their actions and finally retreat and make up.
Suo and Sappanwood:
Sappanwood can make a type of valuable red dye named brazilin.
The character of 'Su' (蘇) in JP also means resurrection, reviving, resuscitation, and rehabilitation.
The red pigment found in the sappanwood tree (brazilin) has also been used to treat wounds and ward off infections, encouraging faster healing.
Sappanwood isn’t as favoured for extracting dyes as brazilwood, though—the discovery of brazilwood led to a boom in red pigments due to its greater concentration, whereas sappanwood was much less saturated in comparison.
This is pure yappanese but maybe Suo sees himself as inferior compared to his brothers...
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That's the color of the dye sappanwood creates and that is the color of Suo's eye and his coral earring. I don't need to say anything more, right?
4. FALCON KICK 𓅃𓅃 FALCON PUNCH 𓅃𓅃
Rejoice!! We have made it to the next section of Suo's name at last!! I never thought I'd get here!!!! LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK (it's not quick).
Again, from the document that u/Snowy-kitten wrote, "隼" means 'falcon' and "飛" means 'fly/flight', spelling out "隼飛" lit. 'flying falcon'.
Reviewing the Symbolism Blargh Off This Page: (OG text has been slightly edited)
"The falcon represents vision, freedom, and victory. Hence, it also connotes salvation to those who are in bondage whether moral, emotional, or spiritual." <- I find it very interesting that many of Suo's symbolisms tie back to things relating to a new beginning/healing: salvation, revitalization, resurrection, a new hope, etc., which falls in line with his dream: the liberation of slaves. And look, I know this possibly means Suo breaking free of whatever chains down his heart, but ACTUALLY Suo will be stuck in 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 bondage and then be saved by EndoSaku. Trust me y'all I'm Nii Satoru's right-hand man
"In Christian symbolism, the wild falcon represents the unconverted, materialistic soul and its sinful thoughts and deeds. The tamed bird symbolizes the Christian convert pursuing his lofty thoughts, hopes, and aspirations with courage." <- I don't think Suo is wild or tame or Christian in particular, but you could take it as current-Suo suppressing and masking his true identity/emotions. And that actually makes sense when you remember how Suo nearly went Insanity.PNG during KEEL Arc and Sakura had to stop him from continuing to pummel a guy when he was down; when Sakura admitted he was pissed at himself and turned away Suo thought 'I really am no match for you'. On one hand, this could be explained extremely well if we view it from a Confucian + Suo's theory of adulthood lens which will be talked about later in Part 6. However, this could also symbolize Suo being bound in emotional chains and having... wtf, 'sinful thoughts'? That he's suppressing?? Maybe that's why he doesn't use his phone around people coz there's a bunch of 料 (blackmail) in there 🤣. And when Suo gets his arc I suppose he gets 'tamed' and is finally free to pursue his aspirations with courage (being with Furin and supporting Sakura), which will effectively act as another new beginning/his healing—further tying into his whole shtick surrounding resurrection revitalization healing salvation blah blah blah. (POV: the 'Suo has no Christian allusions' part comes to bite me back in the ass via. Taiping Rebellion parallels where an ethnically Han Chinese mf in Suo's triad or Noroshi proclaims to be "Endo's brother-in-christ" slash the brother of the WBK Jesus Christ. And then I kill myself)
"In Egyptian hieroglyphs, the falcon glyph was used in words and phrases such as 'god', 'pharaoh', 'greatness', 'year', 'sovereign', 'star', 'hour', 'prayer', 'land', and 'world'. It was associated with the deity of the sky, of kingship, and of the sun, Horus [...] In early dynasties, the king’s ascension was known as the “Flight of the Falcon”." <- Aha! AHA! YEAH MORE NOBILITY HOURS AND A DIRECT REFERENCE TO THE DEFINITION OF HAYATO. Okay. So. This is highly unlikely to happen but imagine Suo becomes the head of his triad branch. Or maybe this means that Suo is the heir to something lofty... deadass the fated ascension to big bad boss which he skedaddled from or was denied from, who knows?
"The Eye of Horus, the Egyptian symbol for the Sun, depicts a stylized falcon's eye and face markings. It signified royal power and protection from danger, evil, and ill health." <- More nobility/higher status allusions and illness-warding shit, typical Suo Hayato behavior.
"A human-headed falcon served as a symbol of the human soul on its flight from this world to the afterlife. Similarly, the crossed arms of Egyptian mummies were intended to symbolize the folded wings of a falcon at rest." <- And here we have more Suoshit related to afterlife-isms resurrection-isms and new beginnings-isms. Chat can I stop talking about Suo Hayato ... he's just a never-ending Pandora's 24-hour unboxing video...
"The sport of hunting with falcons was associated with nobility in Europe, Japan, and China, where falcons symbolized keen vision, boldness, and power." <- 'Takagari (鷹狩) is Japanese falconry, a sport of the noble class, and a symbol of their nobility, their status, and their warrior spirit.' - Wikipedia.
To continue with Wikipedia: In the 13th century, hawking became popular among the rising samurai class as well as among court nobles (kuge). At that time, the practice of hawking was a means of resolving struggles over land ownership among lords. <- This feels a little similar to the splitting of property mentioned in the Tianzhen brothers!
What's more interesting about falconry is that falcons typically wear 'falcon hoods' that blind them, which forces them to be calm.
The bird wears a hood, which is used in the manning process (acclimatizing to humans and the human world) and to keep the raptor in a calm state, both in the early part of its training and throughout its falconry career. Out of all the falconer's aids, the hood is the most important piece of equipment. There are various styles and types of hoods for raptors within falconry. The hood is handmade, often from kip leather or suitable kangaroo leather. —Wikipedia
Suo's eyepatch is made from leather as mentioned in his character sheet even though nowadays, a lot of eyepatches and most medical eyepatches are made with cloth and/or other adhesive materials.
What's more, a majority of traditional falconry gloves/gauntlets have tassels extremely close if not similar designs to the earrings Suo wears:
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Remember when Suo once mentioned that he had an 'ancient Chinese dragon spirit sealed away in his eye', hence the eyepatch? Maybe there's weight behind that joke because he might lose his composure if the eyepatch is taken away.
If Suo is a trained falcon belonging to his family—although he's 'flying' right now, either for a hunt or free roam—he's been educated in a way that eventually, he will always turn back and roost on the gloves of his master.
"The falcon was seen as the bird of Princes, the gyrfalcon the bird of Kings, and the eagle the bird of Emperors. [...] A falcon [would be released] at the funerals of Pharaohs. This illustrates the ancient view of raptors as intermediaries between the divine and eternal heavens and the mortal earth." <- The 'bird of Princes' part really makes me want to believe Suo is truly in a high-ranking and potentially triad-inheriting position of power; he could really be a 'prince' of sorts for his gang... The O (枋) in Suo can stand for a 'sturdy plank', and even 'raft/boat', which might symbolize him being a bridge of connection between the 'divine and eternal heavens' (his triad/family/whatever dude) and the 'mortal earth' (Furin).
"Furthermore, falcons are represented by the constellation Aquila [lit meaning eagle], as are all raptors. This constellation is said to confer the qualities of boldness, ambition, courage, liberty, generosity, penetrating vision, and a noble spirit, along with a gift for martial arts and the fabrication of weapons.
"This contrasts with a vulnerability to and enmity toward reptiles and their symbolic qualities of deceitfulness, underhandedness (venom), vindictiveness, and baseness of spirit.
[OP's Quick Interjection: from the source some mf added a little 'that aint falco' after the following part and I gotta agree. But also, falcons and eagles are both under raptors as birds of prey, and from what I've seen, Suo is the only known person in WBK so far to have a bird of prey in his name, so I'll still keep this here as food for thought—as well as a theory I have for later.]
"Reflecting this opposition, the battling eagle and serpent has been a motif from ancient times, common to Western, Eastern and New World civilizations. See classical Roman statuary, the ancient coat of arms of Mexico and the Garuda emblems of Indonesia, Thailand and Ulan Bator. The dichotomy can also be seen in the eagle and the rattlesnake competing to be symbols of the Revolutionary United States in the 18th century."
Right. So. I have a lot to say about this chunk. The first is the numerous stories of raptors, mainly eagles, and serpents/snakes, as well as my theory that the family Suo has been sworn into will feature new characters with birds of prey as their joining kanji.
I'll elaborate on the latter first because it's shorter: so far, out of all of the named and introduced people in WBK up till Rooftop Fight, not a single person except Suo contains the character of an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey.
The only person who comes remotely close to having birds as a symbol is Chika Takiishi and the full-page spread ft. his fight with Umemiya which u/Just_EveB theorized to be the karura, which originates from the Garuda in Hinduism (will also elaborate later). But even Chika doesn't have any bird radical in his name. Shishitoren isn't exempt from this; the gang known for people with animal radicals only contains land mammals and reptilians:
Tomoyama Choji (兎耳山 丁子) = rabbit
Togame Jo (十亀 条) = tortoise
Sako Kouta (佐狐 浩太) = fox
Arima Yukinari (有馬 雪成) = horse
Kanuma Minoru (鹿沼 稔) = ♫ Shikanokonokonokokoshitantan ♫
(There's also Inugami Teruomi who is a dog for "inu" but I CAN'T FIND HIS KANJI AND HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A WIKI PAGE??? FREE MY MAN!!!)
Even other characters who happen to have an animal in their name e.g. Hiiragi Toma (柊 登馬) (馬 -> horse) don't have an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey, and no one has the radical for bird (鳥).
Hence, I'm genuinely going to go out on a limb and say that the family Suo has sworn into—or his biological brothers or martial brothers or whatever fucked-up triad business he's in—will have characters containing '鳥' (bird) or one of the following in their names: 鷹、鵰、鳶、鵟、鷂、鴞、鵂鶹、魚鷹、鷲, which are respectively eagle, eagle but different*, kite, buteo, the birds that are under here, owl, collared owlet, osprey, and vulture. OR, if these family members have Chinese names instead of JP, it's plausible they have the same pinyin pronunciation as some of these.
*Btw, this is the difference between a 鷹 and a 鵰. Don't even ask me tbh
Next up, let's talk about the correlations between birds of prey and serpents. I did some scouring through the internet and dug up quite a lot of stuff.
Let's first establish that the only person so far who has been shown with serpent/snake imagery is none other than Endo Yamato himself.
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(And yes, I switched to desktop just to embed more images, I'm crying. Anyway, these panels are all taken from Chapters 144 and 145.)
The tattoo on Endo's neck, an infinity symbol, is derived from the ouroboros, a snake/serpent/dragon biting its own tail.
It symbolizes 'eternal cyclic renewal' or 'a cycle of life, death and rebirth'. Wow, so Suocore.
(BTW, in some religions... the ouroboros is also a fertility symbol. This just in: Suo, Sakura, and Endo are all ♂fertile♂)
I have so much more to say about Endo's tattoos but that's reserved for when I'm done with Suo Hayato... so let's go back to the topic of serpents and eagles and their tales.
Here's some prominent stuff I found:
Aesop's fable: This is the first example I managed to find. It's a story about how kindness will always be repaid. I honestly can't seem to think of a way this coincides with Suo/Suo's family/Endo etc. You can click on it to read the story yourself. Like, I think Endo's on a path to pseudo-redemption or at least 'potential future allies', and I can't see a reason why? He'd want to poison? Somebody?? Even 'figuratively'. Like, let's pretend my theory of Suo's family having birds of prey in their names is correct. Why would one of Suo's martial bros, or better yet the head honcho or something, swoop in to save this Countryman from Endoshittalk? But well, if anyone can think of anything, feel free to comment on it!!
Thus Spoke Zarathustra:
An eagle soared through the sky in wide circles, and on him there hung a serpent, not like prey but like a friend: for she kept herself wound around his neck. “These are my animals,” said Zarathustra and was happy in his heart. “The proudest animal under the sun and the wisest animal under the sun” […]
“That I might be wiser! That I might be wise through and through like my serpent! But there I ask the impossible: so I ask my pride that it always go along with my wisdom. And when my wisdom leaves me one day—alas, it loves to fly away—let my pride then fly with my folly.”
Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, “Zarathustra's Prologue,” translated by Walter Kaufmann.
This is something that also came up, yet this is a more different example compared to the beginning—instead of feuding, the eagle and snake are in harmony, representing the mind and body becoming one, as well as taken from u/__Can__ from the linked Reddit post detailing what they symbolize:
It represents the highest strivings/capacities in man (eagle) and the lowest and more earthly/instinctive faculties (serpent). They are not opposed to one another but are rather one. Just like the other metaphor Nietzsche used, the tree (thought as the self-actualizing man) that if it wants to grow towards heaven (the highest in man) has to have its roots deep beneath the earth in the dark and evil layers of the psyche so to speak. You have to integrate your obscure and evil side in order to become whole.
There's a lot of tree imagery that I'm not really familiar with but know exists in WBK... such as that time Sakura's branch was nearly snapped off by Endo. To me this feels more like a general 'concept' that can be written into the story rather than an important foreshadowing towards future arcs ... plus I haven't read the book so I can't commentate on the philosophies of Nietzsche, so far the only thing I know about him is that he is one of the philosophers outspoken on overcoming Nihilism... taken from a deleted Reddit user:
People who haven’t read or understood Nietzsche think he is a nihilist, which is a bit understandable as his thought is complex, and he was a devastating critic of both dominant and trendy movements/institutions and their values. I believe he once described himself as a maggot that goes into a wound to eat away at the decaying flesh to clean it out. He also described himself as philosophizing with a hammer. In many ways, he is one of the intellectual fathers of postmodern deconstructionism. Which can often border on the nihilistic, but Nietzsche wasn’t simply trying to tear everything we believed in down for its own sake, his intention was to make things better.
From a site (really good read about Nietzsche and Buddhism):
Nietzsche aimed to overcome nihilism by affirming the unconditional embrace of existence. For him, life was not to be denied but rather created by one’s own value system, and built on the foundation of understanding that there is no inherent meaning in the universe. Nishianti describes this process as “dying the great death in the abyss of nihility and coming back to life again” (1983, 233). In doing so, active nihilism becomes a transitional stage rather than an end in itself. It is the abyss into which we must descend, “the darkest night before the dawn” (Nietzsche, 1968, 12). It is through the experiential stages of active nihilism that an individual strives for the heights of the ideal being, the übersmench. He asserted that living by one’s own ‘noble morality’ is characterized as a vigorous, free, and joyful existence, ruled by an innate “will to overpower, and will to rule” (1968, 16). From his works, it is evident that Nietzsche detested the weak and humble man who sought to escape the realities of life.
I can somewhat link Nietzsche's theories on nihilism with the process of creating the Philosopher's Stone (nigredo, albedo, citrinitas, rubedo), which is suuuuper interesting because Endo has vaguely alchemic symbols tattooed onto him. But again I'm digressing.
Norse Mythology [1] and [2]: According to ancient Norse mythology, the World Tree Yggdrasil has an unnamed eagle at the top and a serpent/dragon named Nidhogg at the bottom, and beneath the eagle there is a hawk named Vedrfolnir, standing for '"storm pale", "wind bleached", or "wind-witherer". Between them, there is also a squirrel named Ratatoskr who carries messages between the eagle and Nidhogg.
From Wikipedia: In historical Viking society, 'níð'(nid) was a term for a social stigma, implying the loss of honor and the status of a villain. Thus, its name might refer to its role as a horrific monster in its action of chewing the corpses of the inhabitants of Náströnd: those guilty of murder, adultery, and oath-breaking.
It's faster to just attach images of me and my friend tweaking:
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I might one day do a separate post about Norsestuff and Furin because this is really interesting.
This entire Reddit comment section: Talks about the historical significance of the eagle and the snake in tales, depictions, etc. From u/Wayrin:
This symbol goes way way way back. There are depictions of eagles with snakes going back to Babylon and Elam around 3000 BCE. Of course the image was borrowed by everyone and the Egyptians saw it as Horus defeating Seth. Similarly Ahura Mazda was depicted as an eagle and Ahriman as a dragon. The Greeks borrowed the idea of the eagle as a symbol of resurrection from later Egyptian tradition and then it starts popping up everywhere. India, Indonesia, Rome and all over the Mediterranean. Most of these traditions use the Eagle to represent some great good. Usually a god related to the sun combating the forces of evil the snake. We believe the symbol to be borrowed and expanded (except for Mesoamerica) since they have so many commonalities. A lot of the stories have the Serpent winning over the Eagle before the Eagle triumphs. If you can access it, this is my source "Eagle and Serpent. A study in the Migration of Symbols." It was written in 1939 though so take it with a grain of salt.
And from u/tonycmyk, about ancient Mesopotamia:
[...] The snake/serpent has always represented the giving of knowledge to humans and the connection to earth. The eagle has always represented power over the earth and war. And this symbolism can be traced back through every ancient culture we know of and probably the ones we don’t. Powerful stuff.
Something not related to Suo: So about the Karura... the theorized demon JoJo stand that Chika has in the spread originated under 'Garuda' in Hinduism. You can read more about Garudas VS. Nagas here and the common point between Karuras and Garudas is that they're both depicted as people who feud constantly with dragons/serpents/snakes. In Hinduism, though, Nagas aren't depicted as evil like in Christianity. (And they're also a symbol of fertility... Endo's more ♂fertile♂ than Suo confirmed...)
5. Final Closing Notes on Suo
So, in summary, what do I think about Suo?
... What do I think about Suo... (crushing the chopsticks in my hand) I have multiple proposals as to what Suo is doing in Furin and what's going on with his family. And other Suostuff in general.
Falcon flying away: - To me, I see this as Suo leaving the family for a brief period, similar to how falconers can train their falcons to hunt but inevitably return to their owner. - If Suo's arc involves him cutting ties with his family, then this part could also symbolize Suo's desire to leave his original background behind in favor of Furin. - If the falcon symbolizes Suo's family as a whole, then this could represent the downfall of Suo's triad/noble family too, or that they're conducting some of their business elsewhere from their place of origin (*suspiciously Chinese ringtone starts to echo from my phone holder*)
u/Snowy-kitten's traitor Suo theory: Suo could be a spy in Furin. He could be scoping out the area for his own triad/gang/whatever. But what's most curious is the already-existing relevance between Endo and Suo that u/Snowy-kitten pointed out: Suo’s given name and Endo’s given name, Hayato and Yamato respectively are the names of two ancient Japanese tribes. [...] The Hayato is a tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed during the Nara period. The Yamato is another tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed alongside the Hayato. The Hayato frequently resisted the Yamato rule until the year 720 when the Hayato rebellion broke out. It was a rebellion of the Hayato against the Yamato. The rebellion ended in the year 721 with the Yamato being victorious. The interesting thing about the name 'Yamato' as u/Snowy-kitten also mentions is that its kanji (哉真斗) holds almost no meaning in JP. In Chinese, though, this can more or less translate to an expression, 'Ah, a real fight!' as '哉' in classical Chinese can be translated into an exclamation of sorts (「哉」可表示感嘆、疑問及反問語氣,相等於「啊」、「呢」、「嗎」), the '真' translates to 'real/true', and the '斗' (or 鬥 in trad) translates to 'fight'. So in the end, the Serpent VS. Eagle thing might happen in the form of Endo fighting Suo himself or Endo fighting one of Suo's family members.
Tsuge-chan and Suo: Remember this part?
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Yeah, so, wtf was that? Fun facts on Tsuge's name from u/Snowy-kitten again (thank you bro you're saving my life):
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I feel like Tsuge is going to be interlinked with Suo's backstory, that maybe he knows something more about Suo's 'family' than anyone in Furin should. Whether or not the XL river in Tsuge's name can be crossed with a bridge from another character's name or not... IDK we'll see if said bridge can be crossed when we get to it or burnt in favor of Suo lol... because Suo mentions bridge building in his character song gg
My final hard read on Suo's arc (take this with 2 mouthfuls of salt): - Suo will be called away briefly and leaves Furin either without notice or on short notice. He might leave behind enough clues to let Furin know why or where he's going. Or he might leave none at all, and Tsuge has to guess and explain what's most likely going on. - Endo might have to fight Suo in some way. Or he ends up fighting Suo's older martial siblings (the 'eagle') and triumphs over them. - If the oldest is truly the 'eagle', then there will be a younger one, the second-in-command, the 'hawk', like in Norse mythology. - I might come up with more stuff and I'll edit this into here as time comes.
6. I Lied
Suo isn't over. We still have to talk about how well he fulfills the shit we learnt in the HKDSE about our goat Johnny Hung's virtues/morals/principles.
So anyway, this is Johnny Hung our fucking GOAT!!!!!:
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AKA Confucius lmao. Sorry it's an inside joke
This man is the reason I had to memorize so much classical Chinese sayings and literature that eventually culminated into Knowledge for the Suopost. It was all built towards this moment :( Let's start with an explanation of 論仁、論孝、論君子 as well as 五倫/四端!
...User Pyschicwavementality, wtf is this?
(Stares at you with the most depressed, sick, and haunted eyes) Chinese lore.
I will sadly not be sane if I explained every single one of these sayings to you guys. (Mutters) I mean I did have to memorize all of them back in the day but I'd kms elaborating on all of them so. I'm just going to take the relevant ones that could tie into Suo's character.
Let me first establish: the core of Confucianism revolves around "仁、義、禮、智、信、恕、忠、孝、悌". The arguably quote unquote """""important""""" ones (to today's discussion and in What I Learnt in general anyway) would be 仁義禮智信 and also 孝, of which I will now try? My best? To explain?? Please forgive me I learned everything in Chinese and it's really hard to do an accurate translation/analysis without going deep into culture and history 😭
CLASSICAL CHINESE 101
仁:This is read as rén. It is like... altruism, betterment, and love, I guess? Rén is how you interact with people, it is the innate connection and bond and interaction between human beings. (人與人之間互相關懷,尤其以關愛自己的親人最為重要。) It is respect and love and doing good deeds and Kind deeds out of our inner Goodness in our hearts. It is born from our inner individual and it affects our actions and what we do. We aim to always be a 'jūnzǐ' (君子)in Confucianism, someone who embodies all of Confucianism as the "self-improving and good-hearted" individual. To be empathetic and the kindest/most altruistic and loving person to one and all; to treat everyone equally from our innate Goodness—that is more or less rén. In the ideal society of Confucianism, everyone practices rén. This would mean society would always be harmonious.
義:this is read is yì. It is morality, justice, and helping others when in need. It is doing what is right and according to rén.
禮:this is lǐ. It is respect, treating people with manners, following social rules under rén, showing filial piety to your parents and elders, etc.
智:this is zhì. It is the pursuit of knowledge, creation, innovation, and improvement. It is having the intelligence to separate right/wrong and good/evil.
信:this is read as xìn. It is to have faith and belief in our beliefs and pursuits and our governing body. It is also integrity, honesty, and truthfulness. Whether it be a person, an organization, a business, or a government, they must have integrity as their core value.
(Additional) 孝:this is read as xiào and is essentially filial piety. Confucius believed that respect and love towards our parents should not be seen as an 'obligation', but rather something inner from the heart. There are four 'levels' of xiào: 孝順、孝敬、孝養、孝承 (xiàoshùn, xiàojìng, xiàoyǎng, xiàochéng). This is super complicated to go through so if you're bored and have tons of free time on your hands, feel free to run this PDF through a translator to get a better idea on what xiào is.
To get an idea on xiào, Confucius said that, if our parents became old and we only send them food and money, this is no different from raising a dog or a horse (孝養). He says, "Without respect (敬), where is there a difference?". When his disciples asked what we must do to respect (敬) our parents, he answered "We must not turn our backs on them [or more specifically, do not turn our backs on lǐ (etiquette)]. We serve them according to etiquette while alive; bury and commemorate according to etiquette after death."
But anyway, in turn, parents must also treat their children with all the above-mentioned virtues and said parents need to respect their parents with the same attitude as well. In theory, this goes both ways.
There's also Mencius' beliefs branched from Confucius' teachings (still part of Confucianism):
惻隱之心:read as 'cèyǐn zhī xīn'. This is your innate ability to feel compassion and empathy. Some people always see the "evil" around them and fail to see the goodness inside people and thus choose to be "evil" in turn. Mencius, one of Confucius' disciples, believed everyone was born kind and carried compassion. For those who are unfortunate, people will sympathize with them out of their own kindness; for those who are weak, people will have compassion for them and reach out to help them. He believed that people should never abandon their inner kindness, as kind people will always be rewarded by the kindness of others.
是非之心:read as 'shìfēi zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to differentiate right and wrong actions as well as morally incorrect/correct decisions others make and reflect on them to judge why it is wrong and what not to do.
羞惡之心:read as 'xiūwù zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel shame and guilt for making mistakes or doing things that are not following lǐyí (禮儀). It is also feeling scorn/disgust for others who do not follow lǐyí (禮儀).
辭讓之心:read as 'círàng zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel thankful when others do something kind towards you, and you will feel like you need to pay it forward. It is giving others opportunities in exchange of your own and taking a step back to put others in mind first.
There's also the concept of inter-relationship hierarchy from the foundations of filial piety, which stipulates the order of respect should go from 君臣、父子、夫婦、兄弟、朋友 -> Lord/Emperor & Gov., Father-Son, Husband-Wife, Brothers, and Friends
Additional aid via. translations of my super helpful diagrams I made ages and ages ago about how to differentiate 仁義禮智:
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(2) Analogy: POV you are in Ancient China and you see an elderly man killing a random guy
(3) Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for the guy being killed. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the elderly man killing the guy is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that the elderly man is killing the guy.
(4) Because in Ancient China, the lǐ [social rules] is to respect your elders [filial piety], but because the elderly man is doing something not in accordance with lǐ and yì (禮儀) [social rules and justice], you will do what is right (the lǐ action) and stop the elderly man from getting killed.
(5) Think: your choice to act and do correctly and the correct act itself is yì; your heart's inner compassion is rén; your ability to tell if the situation is in accordance with lǐyí (禮儀) or not is zhì; and the environmental/social rules = lǐ, e.g. respecting your elders. When you do actions that are not fulfilling yì, you feel guilty because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù). Rén is inner moral/virtue requirements [to be a 君子 jūnzǐ),whereas yì is your outward action.
(6) Oh, and don't forget: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.
(7) Adding on to the last sentence in (5), 'rén' is not a requirement; it is inner 'love' exuded from the heart. If you are forced or required to do so, that is not 'rén', that is 'duty'.
So how does this all tie into Suo Hayato?
(Shakes my fist full of documents) so this is where I start CRAZYMAXXING.
If you also lovehate this man you might have already made some connections between Suo and the above few values I've described. Otherwise let me elaborate: when dear old Niisato made Suo to be the most stereotypically Chinese lad ever, he also managed to include a shitton upstanding moral traits that a jūnzǐ (君子) would have, essentially making Suo an amazing representation of core Confucian beliefs (so far as of writing this post in my theory state of mind).
When Suo talks about 'growing up' or taking the steps to adulthood, he mentions one of the most important core values being able to make your imagination reality as well as empathy.
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You could actually simplify rén into putting yourself in another person's shoes to see/think/feel from their perspective, and one famous saying from Confucius is to wish no harm to come upon others that you do not wish to come upon you, which ties in with Kanuma mocking the fallen Shishitoren member and only starting to feel panicked once he realizes the same harm was going to happen to him. ("己所不欲,勿施於人。")
Suo also insinuates the ability to chase your goals and turn them from dreams into reality is another part of 'attaining adulthood'. You can boil this down to being able to fulfill what you say/living up to your claims/fulfilling your beliefs. Honesty and integrity also play a major role in Confucian beliefs. There are a few sayings under xìn '信‘ that Confucius said about this:
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5.1 A jūnzǐ (君子) must be mindful of what they say and do things swiftly/efficiently/quickly. 5.2 A jūnzǐ (君子) does not endorse a person just because he speaks favorably, nor does he reduce a man's worth just because he has a bad impression of him. 5.3 A jūnzǐ (君子) will feel shameful if he cannot go through with what he said he will do. 5.4 [Text Before Image] If one's name/renown is not righteous, his speech will not be reasonable; if one's speech is not reasonable, he will not be able to accomplish anything. If things are not accomplished, the law will not be able to reach into one's heart; if the law cannot reach people, the punishment will not be fair; if the punishment is unfair, the common people will be at a loss. [Text In Image] Therefore, leaders must be steadfast and reasonable in both what they do and what they say. When leaders speak, they must not be careless (read: 'whatever' energy) or rash.
^^ When you translate this, doesn't this essentially reflect Umemiya as a leader? Which also falls in line with Suo seeing Ume as his ideal 'picture' for adulthood and further aligning w/Suo's statement of 'making your imagination reality'?
It doesn't end here though...!!!
KEEL ARC! When Suo got PISSED as hell seeing his friends around him hurt, Sakura had to step in to stop Suo from losing composure in Chapter 50 | Extreme Emotions. Remember when I talked about explaining how this could be understood SO WELL from a Confucian lens in Part 4?
What Sakura said: 'I'm pissed as all hell at myself. I was talking big [I can 'em all on my own], and look what's happened. But getting pissed off isn't gonna help. We need to focus on what we have to do.'
(Pokes my finger at statement 5.3 and 5.4)
This ABSOLUTELY makes Suo's reaction called for ("I really am no match for you") because right now Sakura is embodying the core values of Confucianism better than Suo was moments prior. In that moment, Sakura was the one closer to being a jūnzǐ (君子). At that moment, Suo was the one who should've been learning and modeling after him.
Remember 羞惡之心 (xiūwù)? It is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.
Suo was disgusted/hateful at the KEEL member for hurting his friends. He may have reflected and felt shame when Sakura came up to stop him.
It's still not over though!
Suo has consistently shown contempt for those who are older than him yet do not practice the same values of 仁義禮智信! Another one of the major Suo moments:
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"Goodness... How self-centered. Even to the very end. To teach others, you need to engage with their feelings and support them to stand on their own two feet for the first time." — Suo Hayato on the most Confucian thing he could say at the moment
How self-centered:
顏淵問仁。子曰:「克己復禮為仁。一日克己復禮,天下歸仁焉。為仁由己,而由人乎哉?」 [1] 顏淵曰:「請問其目。」子曰:「非禮勿視,非禮勿聽,非禮勿言,非禮勿動。」 [2] 顏淵曰:「回雖不敏,請事斯語矣。」(《顏淵》第十二)
(HIGHLIGHTED = TRANSLATED BELOW; EDITED MTL)
[1] "Rén is to restrain one's selfish desires and to conduct oneself in an honorable manner. Once you have done this, all the people of the world will submit to your benevolence and virtue. The fulfillment of rén depends entirely on oneself. How could it depend on others?"
[2] "How do you practice rén?" "Do not look; listen; speak; or do things not in accordance with lǐ."
Already, gymnast-guy has violated the above.
To teach others [...]:
"與人交,推其長者,讳其短者,故能久也。"
"When interacting with people, you should pay attention to discovering and promoting others' strengths, rather than always pointing out other people's shortcomings." [MTL]
Confucius was known to be a very open and benevolent teacher. He did not require students to pay fees; he simply wanted your desire to learn. Suo's really open with teaching Nirei and he matches the teaching style of Johnny Hung really well <3 He's very positive and uplifting when it comes to Nirei. Personally, I also like to believe Suo also sees a younger or past version of himself in Nirei which adds more layers to his intrigue...
Scroll back up to the part where I had three Instagram stories explaining how 仁義禮智 linked with Mencius' additions if you forgot about it. You can re-read what I said regarding the example of seeing an old man killing someone.
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Then the gymnast guy talks about 'discipline', and Suo has a vision of his master, which he adds with: "'Discipline', 'training and passing down your teachings'... Okay! I've got a question, sensei! How are you supposed to act when you go barging into another person's home?"
(He's pissed.)
Rewording [2] from my Instagram Story Explanation: Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for Furin getting invaded and fighters/friends getting hurt. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the Noroshi invading Furin is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that Noroshi is invading Furin.
And once again, just like from KEEL: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì).
For someone older to be breaking 禮儀 (lǐyì) and speaking on how Suo's 'similar to him' and how he's having 'fun', this was The singularly most awful thing gymnast-guy could've done at the moment as someone Suo is meant to respect according to the age/skill hierarchy in Chinese culture. Not to mention the gymnast guy establishes himself indirectly as a 'teacher' in this scenario by using the phrase 'discipline'. It's even crazier when you realize that Confucianism explicitly believes that anyone can be a teacher to you because you do not know everything. There's literally a story about Confucius speaking with a 7-year-old who spoke so much facts that Confucius himself recognized the kid as a teacher. Suo taunting the guy asking what he could learn from the gymnast is NUTS.
Some other quotes that I think really match Suo's character:
子曰:「君子病無能焉,不病人之不己知也。」(《衞靈公》第十五)
“A jūnzǐ (君子) worries that he himself is incapable, and not that others do not understand him.”
子曰:「君子不重則不威;學則不固。主忠信。無友不如己者。過則勿憚改 。」(《學而》第一)
"If a jūnzǐ (君子) is not steadfast/solemn/decisive, he will not be dignified; and what he learns will not be stable. Maintain loyalty and integrity as your main principles. Do not make friends with people who have lower moral standing than you/who are not as good as you are, and do not be afraid to correct your mistakes."
Final Theory Pitch: "Death By Betrayal"
"Death By Betrayal" in Suo Hayato's name based on the symbolism of the Chinese redbud might make one immediately think of his master and his family. Perhaps Suo's teacher passed and Suo's embodying his master's teachings, or his family has backstabbed/been backstabbed. If we go down the route of Suo still being an active triad member, then this may talk about his triad being betrayed and Suo having to briefly live/train with his master under a new identity. If Suo's former martial siblings (whom he respects, by the way, literally so xiào) want to reform the group, Suo might force them to align with his current set of values (which are extremely similar to Furin too—to protect the common people) and avoid harming innocents.
From another point of view this can also symbolize the "death" of Suo Hayato's former character, where instead he was the one who turned his backs on his clan/family first. Either to learn from his master who may or may not be dead, or to escape his supposed triad ties.
There is another piece of classical literature that I can yap about: 《魚我所欲也》. Here's a quickest translation of it possible:
“魚,我所欲也,熊掌,亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼, 舍魚而取熊掌者也。生亦我所欲也,義亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼, 舍生而取義者也。
"Fish, I desire it; bear paw [rare and believed to have medicinal properties], I also desire it. If I cannot obtain both at once, then I will sacrifice the fish for the bear paw. Life, I desire it; yì [to do morally correct/upstanding/good things], I also desire it; if I cannot obtain two at once, then I will sacrifice my life for yì.
生亦我所欲,所欲有甚於生者,故不為苟得也; 死亦我所惡,所惡有甚於死者, 故患有所不辟也。 如使人之所欲莫甚於生,則凡可以得生者,何不用也 ? 使人之所惡莫甚於死者,則凡可以辟患者,何不為也 ?由是則生而有不用也,由是則可以辟患而有不為 也,是故所欲有甚於生者,所惡有甚於死者。非獨賢者有是心也,人皆有之,賢者能勿喪耳。
Life is something that I want, but there is something I want more than life [yì]! so I will not be greedy for immediate survival. Death is something I hate, but there is something I hate more than death [not fulfilling yì], so I will not avoid the evil that comes my way. If there is nothing that men love more than life, why do they not use whatever means they have to live? If there is nothing that men hate more than death, why do they not use any means of avoiding evil? By these means may we live, but some do not use them; and by these means may we avoid evil, but some are unwilling to do so.
Thus (it can be proved) that there are things that people want more than life, and there are things that people hate more than death. It is not only the 賢者 (virtuous man) that has this nature—all men have this innate nature, but the virtuous man can preserve and maintain it.
一簞食,一豆羹,得之則生,弗得則死 。
A serving of food, a bowl of soup; if you obtain it, you will live. If you do not obtain it, you will die.
嘑爾而與之,行道之人 弗受;蹴爾而與之,乞人不屑也;萬鍾則不辯禮義而受之。
Giving this to someone while mocking and hollering at them, normal people (people on the road) will not accept it because they feel disrespected; stepping on it before giving it to someone, a beggar would not accept it because it is unclean. The temptation (t/n: 萬鐘 is similar to 'bad temptations' or 'great benefits') for benefits: one will not differentiate whether or not it is aligned according to yì [etiquette/moral ethics] before obtaining it.
萬鍾於我何加焉?為宮室之美、妻妾之奉、所識窮乏者得我與?鄉為身死而不 受,今為宮室之美為之;鄉為身死而不受,今為妻妾之奉為之;鄉為 身死而不受,今為所識窮乏者得我而為之,是亦不可以已乎?此之謂 失其本心。"
What do these benefits have that can help me? For a beautiful house, many wives, and for the recognition and thanks from poor people? In the past, one would sacrifice their life before accepting these benefits; but now, for a beautiful house, many wives, and the recognition and thanks from poor people, they will accept temptation. Can we not stop this? This is the act of losing one’s trait [of sacrificing your life for the greater good]."
A summary of this thinking would be to "捨生取義", lit. 'sacrifice your life to obtain yì/the greater good'.
It is completely possible that Suo, when raised or sworn into the triad, was taught by his master (either in secret or after he briefly leaves) about the importance of 'upholding the ultimate good', which may have caused him to realize his triad—which may or may not prey on the weak—does not align with his moral worldviews any more.
To escape, Suo could've decided to fake his death or leave behind his old self and turn his back as betrayal, which ties into his 'noble' symbolism and 'flying falcon' name in Hayato.
But tbh, I'm inclined to believe Suo's master was on okay terms with the triad because he/she had long hair. Suo's hair, as I've stated elsewhere, could be short due to hair being used as a major symbolism device in WBK as a way to say he's tried to leave his past.
Yet some things may be unable to be broken away from so easily, and Suo, a trained falcon, might be unable to leave behind everything. He was likely loyal since a young age and unconsciously finds himself lingering on old sentiments. Maybe his earrings are gifts from his master. Maybe his eyepatch is from his triad/family.
Still, Suo being from a criminal family and having distaste for Noroshi/KEEL is really interesting because we can see that he doesn't enjoy it when people lack empathy or cause pain to others. You’d expect him to react more to Choji’s gang because of their “violence for violence’s sake” going against his whole empathy tangent, but Suo seems to hate it more when someone finds interest in violence for meaning’s sake or violence for profit’s sake. I think Suo understands Shishitoren is built off violence to become stronger (<- literally the WBK OST), and everyone in SSTR seems to mutually be okay with this in-fighting. There's also a big difference between Suo clashing with SSTR and the other: he hasn't forged as deep of a bond with Furin compared to vs. KEEL and vs. Noroshi, and the latter two have made active attempts at hurting Furin through morally corrupt means (beating Nagato up and taking over Furin for personal gain).
Suo could've developed this sort of morality to distance himself from his family, who may have gotten infamous/profited off similar methods. (<- and this is really funny because Confucius has ALSO said that a jūnzǐ (君子) should not accept wealth or escape poverty if it wasn't achieved through morally correct means. A jūnzǐ (君子) cannot turn his back on rén in the span of a meal, and this remains true even during hasty and urgent times + when one is poor/wandering/living in tough conditions.)
A possible timeline:
-Suo is born to a rich family, possibly wealthy through a criminal empire.
-Suo dislikes his family because of his morals (may not have happened), and his family may dislike him back because he is considered “weak” (could explain why he’s the one who offers to help Nirei or why empathy as an adult is so important to him). Or, he's a super loyal lapdog and hella admires his brothers. Maybe they're the only good guys in the triad. Maybe they're really bad and Suo's also really bad. Suo might have two wolves inside him... the Confucian morals vs. Organized crime persona
-Suo studies Chinese fighting techniques and philosophy with someone (possibly a figure outside his family)
-Suo's family and/or mentor is betrayed/Suo betrays them
-Suo has to escape and create a new identity fully based off of his Confucian learnings.
...
And with that, I've said almost everything I need to say on the topic of Suo Hayato.
It totally didn't take 10,000 words or anything.
What's up next in Part 2?
I'll be writing Endo's version of this post and include some Suo-Endo joint theories and/or notes. Things to look forward to include Endo, Christianity, and alchemy... And maybe I'll even start yapping about the 0.2472983% potential Daoist/Taoist influence Sakura has.
I'll be back in 1 business century!
(Bonus) out of context convos and quotes my friend and I have said during the process of writing this that may foreshadow Part 2 or something:
Me: Picture Endo being Chinese too but it's Mainlander vs HK [Suo] beef
Me: WHO'S THE TAIWANESE 😭😭😭 IS IT UME??? HE HAS PLUM BLOSSOMS
Nakama: Okay so (crackposting) it's choji because of TW's association with the sun
Me: What if it's Chiitan [Chika Takiishi] and we get the forbidden Mainland x TWnese "forbidden" romance...
Me: But anyway I find it devastating choji would say cao ni ma wo che ne and its not even ooc
Me: ...Shit now I can imagine endo with a strong beijinger accent
Nakama: ...yamato儿(er) endo儿(er)
Nakama: ....chiika儿(er) takiishi儿(er)
Nakama: ...sakuraur harukaur
Me: endo going BEJINGRR WELCOMES YOU
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"You not only ate, you devourered that like you were unaccountably peckish." —Nakama-kun 2024
Nakama: Waiting very politely for ur suopost to show up
Me: It might tonight, I'm typing like a keyboard warrior rn
Me: When u wake up it might be posted 😎
—A lie quoted from the 17th Aug 2024 at 3:57 PM GMT+8, a whopping one month and seven days ago.
"Y'know maybe suo's from oklahoma" —Me, delirious, 2024
The Suo Post's TLDR:
"WE NEED TO KILL HIM FOR BEING TOO CHINESE"
—User psychicwavementality after 1 month of crying in voice messages about Suo Hayato.
(Total word count: 11,781 words. Part One, scene!)
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lady-phasma · 2 days
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I want to write a lestat fic so bad I’m practically foaming at the mouth!! I want to do his character justice though. Would you spare some lestat characterization tips mayhaps?
Hi anon! I am so unbelievably flattered that you came to me. I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to reply. Would you like ✏️ anon if you come back?
I hope I answer this well. He is my oldest, dearest blorbo so I'm going to answer with series and book (head)canon, so there are some pretty hefty spoilers below the cut.
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Characterization tips....
When in doubt, go bigger and more French! Do you doubt something you're writing for him is believable? You're probably wrong. This guy found Atlantis in canon. He has flown into the sun, switched bodies with a human, and met the literal, actual Devil.
Would he realistically flirt in your scenario? Yes. But what if...? Yes. He will always flirt. Always.
But on a more serious note, Lestat is very vain because he is incredibly powerful yet insecure. He can cause a lot of damage and is his own worst enemy. The embodiment of chaos.
Anne didn't christen him The Brat Prince for no reason at all. He not only pouts when he doesn't get what he wants, he often pouts when he gets exactly what he wants. He is rarely satisfied and once a mystery is solved or an objective obtained he's ready to move on.
Something that makes him particularly appealing to me has always been his contrasts, how he can be so self-centered and horrible, but love so openly and deeply. If he loves someone he would die for them, as long as he looked good doing it. He can hate and love the same person in the same moment and still give them everything he has. But, he will always try to be a step ahead to have his own safety net because trust isn't his thing.
Lestat has such an odd mix of confidence and insecurity. He never once questioned why the Queen of the vampires would be enamored with him. Of course she would be. But even during all of his drama with Akasha he pined for Louis. Many of his exploits are to get the attention of someone who isn't giving him enough at the moment.
I'm going to do a deep TVL dive real quick because this is the foundation of who he is for me. The Wolfkiller. He was embarrassed at being "poor" aristocracy and the one warm coat he had was the one the villagers made for him from the wolf pelt. He wasn't proud of that event, but that coat meant more to him than they could possibly imagine.
Also, he loves dogs. Seriously, if you need to write him having a pet dog, go for it. Especially mastiffs and boucherons (book and series canon).
I don't particularly like the word "flamboyant" for him, but he is. He is performative. Rarely does he do anything that isn't thoroughly thought through if someone is watching. He is equally impetuous if it looks good.
Lastly, some emotional characterization. He hates to appear vulnerable, but is constantly vulnerable. It's almost as if he doesn't know how to mask that part of him. His desperation to be part of the Italian acting troupe was obvious almost to the point of being a pathetic fanboy. He can't help but be incredibly earnest. Even if it causes him pain or embarrassment.
The Father of Lies, the Brat Prince, Wolfkiller, Lelio... Lestat is all of these things. That's what has always made him such a rich character. He can be serious, but Anne's description of him through Armand might be my favorite: he must make a gutter theatrical out of stubbing his toe.
God forbid no one was around to witness the pain and suffering he endured from such a tragic event. affectionately
I didn't go into anything romance or shipped based on purpose so feel free to let me know it that's what you meant and I missed the mark.
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