#I've been alone for so long I truly don't even think I'm even human

[skinnypaleangryperson]

A couple of years ago, I was squealing to my one best friend about my dreams of having a family one day and how family oriented I was, and told them about my child OC with Arthur fleck.

3 years later and I haven't had a friend sense, I've been an alcoholic, I've been hospitalized, I'm so bitter and mentally ill every day I can really even function or even perceive reality, and I am unhealthily obsessed with self-shipping with Rick Sanchez, main reason being because we are both old alone and bitter and nothing in our lives worked out on a personal family level.

Never give up on your dreams, birds.

[swanimagines]

MELODY OF THE NIGHT | MORPHEUS

Summary: You've been distancing yourself from Morpheus, because you know he's an Endless and can't be romantically involved with humans, but you can't bear being with him while knowing you can't have him. He comes over to your house and demands to know what's the matter. It ends unexpectedly.

It had been weeks. You had known it was forbidden for Endless to be romantically involved with mortals, but your stupid heart had still developed feelings for him. It had been too painful to endure, so you willed yourself not to visit The Dreaming anymore, and avoided Morpheus in your dreams as well - not that you actually had the power to do that, but Morpheus knew when someone didn't want him to appear so he didn't.

When your doorbell had rang, you had to admit that you hadn't expected who was on the other side of the door, even when it should have been obvious. Morpheus stood there, looking as gorgeous as always. Compared to you - messy hair, looking like you didn't sleep properly, in your t-shirt and sweatpants.

"Hi, um... sorry, I'm kind of busy here," you mumbled to him, not really even looking at him.

Morpheus sighed, clearly knowing it was a lie. "May I come in?"

It wasn't really a question, but you still nodded. He came into your apartment and closed the door behind himself. You tapped your tea mug nervously as you stood in front of him. You didn't know what to say to him, really. You were embarrassed, angry, and frustrated all at once. Your emotions made you feel out of control, which in turn only increased your frustration and your embarrassment.

"I do not understand why you will not talk to me," Morpheus said, his voice soft. He looked hurt, or maybe just disappointed.

His words hit you like a hammer. You took a deep breath. "Because I... I just... I can't visit you anymore."

He frowned. "Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it." you replied quickly. If you told him, you knew he'd sigh and explain what could happen. He would also say he doesn't love you back.

This time, Morpheus didn't press any further, but he did look upset. He stayed silent after that for several minutes. Eventually, he spoke again. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No!" you exclaimed. You shook your head, trying to get some of your thoughts together. "No, it's... it's me."

Morpheus moved closer to you. "Then why..."

"Just leave me alone," you snapped. "I told you I don't want to talk about it, and I mean it."

"But-" he started, but you cut him off.

"Dream, please, stop," you pleaded. "You've already caused enough trouble by showing up here. Just go away."

"I do not understand," he whispered. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened," you muttered. "And I can't let anything to happen, I can't control... just leave me alone."

Morpheus seemed truly confused now. He didn't seem angry, though, and he didn't argue. He just continued to stare at you, his expression unreadable. "You are one of the first humans I consider a friend. I need to know-"

Next thing you didn't even think about doing. Your feelings just rushed forward, spilling over and you grabbed his coat and tugged him close and pressed your lips against his.

Morpheus froze, just as you had expected and you pulled back before he had a chance to, breaking off the kiss. You stared into his eyes, panting slightly. "This is why I've been avoiding you," your voice broke mid-sentence, tears now cascading over your cheeks. "I know it's wrong, we can't be together."

"What?" Morpheus asked, bewildered.

"I love you," you admitted. It felt like the hardest sentence you ever uttered. "I can't keep it in, I just keep thinking about how I want to wake up with you, and I dream about you all the time, and I hate myself for feeling this way. I ruined our friendship the moment I developed those feelings for you, and I'm sorry, but I can't stop loving you, and I can't bear to see your disappointment in me."

Morpheus stared at you for a long moment, watching you sniffling in front of him, before you felt a hand sliding down your cheek and wiping away your tears. "Where did you hear we could not be together?" he asked, gently.

"I... I found it in a book. You had fallen in love with a woman named Nada and the Sun punished her for it."

Morpheus was quiet as he thought about that. "It is true," he then said. "But rules have changed since then. You are not allowed to rule The Dreaming with me or marry me until you are dead, but I am allowed to love you."

His words echoed in your head for a moment before you registered them, and looked up at him. "What?"

"I have loved you ever since we first met," he explained. "I cannot help it. I will never stop. Even if you stop talking to me, even if you stop visiting me, I will always love you. I needed to know if I can fix our friendship, but I did not know you feel the same way about me, and that is why you stopped visiting me."

You blinked at him, almost thinking this was a dream... or at least a daydream. But it felt too real to be one - and in dreams, you knew Morpheus would be controlling what he'd say."

"So you love me?" you asked hesitantly.

Morpheus nodded. "Yes. Yes, I do love you."

You stared at him for a few moments longer, unsure what to say, before you felt your lips growing into a wide smile. "Well, I love you too," you said, pressing another kiss on his lips, and this time, he returned it.

And on that moment, you knew it - this was going to work. Even though it was a risk to love him, you were willing to take it - because you believed he deserved your love more than anyone else in the world.

---

Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

[hazelfoureyes]

Sending in anon because I'm a coward... 😩

I'm a new reader, and I just have to say-- your "a doe in fall" series is just... AMAZING!!

I could go on, and on and on about how much I love it. But what gets me the most is always Alastor's dialogue, because as someone who is also on the aro/ace spectrum, I just get it so much. Especially the subtle hoping that reader can like... Read his mind about how he feels for her, and the weird sort of stockholm syndrome we sometimes develop with ourselves after being alone with only our own company for so long, and it really is, lol, like you just get so used to being alone for so long because you know the idea people have of you, you can't truly live up to, so you don't want to "disappoint" them that you actually aren't like they are, so you just sorta... Keep them occupied at arms length-- Therefore you're forced to adapt to your company being the only love you have for a long time. it's like an obligation.

And when or if the special somebody who understands you comes along, you realize... "Wow, I've been living like this for so long, is this what it feels like to be loved and appreciated, in spite of my oddities, or maybe even in favor of them? Strange..."

Emphasis on the "strange" part because, when you're so deeply entrenched in your own soul, sharing your space for another almost feels more like learning how to swim rather than an instant "click", sparks, fireworks and whatnot. The excitement of the magical "other" has been long since drowned and snuffed out of you.

So, when this somebody who is similar to you, or just simply understands, doesn't try to change you or ignore you, but instead envelopes you and adores you, the appreciation is deep and overflowing. But there's a part of you always pinching your heart, a sort of awareness of something that isn't the case, wondering "Is this a dream? what if it is and I'll wake up and this is not at all what I was thinking?".

Haha... ANYWAY, sorry for the slightly morose and LONG read 😂 But I always think of how similar I am to how you write alastor and it's scary in a way, but comforting (especially since he's my first and biggest fictional crush) except in this case my profession would actually be burlesque. Especially since I work in the exotic dance world. It's fascinating being aro/ace in the SW world, I could go on forever- But yeah, I absolutely love your writing!! Makes me feel less alone in this world. Annnd surprisingly I always feel so sensual after reading, I love love love it!! Reading before work always gets me in the mood to dance and pretend I'm Y/N, lol!!

Much blessings ❤️❤️

*cracks knuckles* listen here babycakes, I eat this shit UP. Exploring Human Ace Alastor is my BREAD AND BUTTER. I go into ESSAYS in the AO3 comments in this 😂

you really understand, which makes me so happy and is confirmation I’m conveying him the way I want to.

Now I’m gonna ramble and echo you basically 😂

I really think Alastor (atleast in this story) feels that excitement and strangeness of how open he can be around Autumn (since she doesn’t have a proper name cuz she’s reader 😂). He’s a fish out of water despite the fact he’s actually being his most authentic self. Like you said, it’s new to him just to be … Alastor. To be honest and upfront. His normal operating mode has been so restricted for so long he’s struggling with how to be himself. And then that fear—- well what if I’m too much? What if I ruin this, when I finally have something worth keeping? He’s never gotten this far and the fear of losing that comfort is terrifying but so is the actual comfort itself. It’s new and foreign.

A deep uneasiness that’s if he fully embraces this he’s gonna just fuck it up and it’ll be his fault this time. Not a misunderstanding or misalignment of needs but a confirmation he wasn’t good enough anyway.

“it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all” he would say that’s bullshit

and because of the situations he’s been in before, he’s never gotten to actually explore physical intimacy in a “safe” environment. He was always going into interactions because he had to if he wanted to keep people around. It was a necessity, not something he actually sincerely wanted to participate. So he tried to keep them happy with other means of affection and intimacy to maintain some safe distance but eventually, always, things would fall apart. At a distance or up close.

that’s why that most recent part was called Learning. Alastor is trying new things to learn more about what he’s okay with or doesn’t care for even offering in the future. Autumn is learning (that night, tho she doesn’t understand it yet) that he’s still figuring out how to meet her halfway (even tho she’s not even asking for that) when he’s used to being forced to meet people where they are. And Detective Brady, of course, is learning he may have found motive for Tommy’s disappearance.

I’m really glad you’re enjoying his portrayal and that you’re resonating with parts of him! That makes my soul hum! 💖 your line of work mixed with your Aro/Ace-ness sounds like such an interesting conversation if we’re honest! That’s a small aspect I love about Autumn. She’s in this field that’s (wrongly) considered to be hyper sexual and full of air headed wanton whores, but she’s the first person to be like “oh! You aren't into this stuff. Let me adjust my expectations. I’ll ask for clear verbal consent, not initiate, and I’m totally okay with never fucking again if it’s for your love and company.”

I work in the SW industry in a sense (Personal Assistant) and one of my biggest pet peeves is all of the shit people project on SWers.

sorry for the essay I could talk about this for ETERNITY

omg and THANK YOU! 🥺💖💖💖💖

Referencing:

A Doe in Fall (Human Alastor x Burlesquer Fem Reader)

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦

[misc-obeyme]

Hey cc

So in the vampire pop quiz I think it was Dia who said something very interesting "looks like they are fixated on mc because mc is the manifestation of their desires" now that did align well with my effort to understand why would all 7 of them be this obsessed lol

Anyway in my head mc goes like guys that's just my idea of how a proper human should be lol pretty sure if any other human ended up here who kinda like hot demons you all would be obsessed about that human too

Anyway, can I request a drabble about this kind of mc not insecure, just not understanding why mc deserving all this attention

Barb would be interesting to drabble about this since it took him sooooo looooong to open up to mc a bit

happy to see you are still having fun with Barbs thirst trap 😎

-🐆

Hi there, 🐆 anon! I apologize for the delay on this - it's been taking me a little longer than I anticipated to get through the drabble requests...

Augh the Barbatos shower picture is going to be the death of me, I swear. I'm still thinking about a nsfw drabble based on one of his lines lkasdfkjfj it's a problem, I swear.

Anyway, here's a Barb drabble with MC not getting why the demons are obsessed with them! I thought it was a cute little scenario. And Barb is just being super romantic as always lol. I can't help it, I am but a humble fluff writer.

Barbatos could see it on your face - a subtle expression that the others might not pick up on. It told him the story of how you were trying your best to hide your own confusion. It was something that happened every time one of the brothers complimented you, when they fought over you, when they expressed this need to always be near you. A slight furrow of your brow, the tiniest downturn of your lips, the fleeting uncertainty that flashed through your eyes.

Ever since your first day in the Devildom, Barbatos had seen this look. He was always watching you. The more he did, the more it became clear to him that you didn't understand why everyone seemed to think there was something special about you.

Perhaps he waited too long. Perhaps he should have mentioned it to you sooner. But you didn't seem distressed. All he ever saw was bafflement. So he let it be for quite some time. Until he finally found himself alone with you when it displayed itself.

Barbatos had been pouring you a cup of tea as he heard about the brothers' latest antics. You were telling him that they had been arguing over who got to work with you on an upcoming school project.

"And then Levi got involved and I had to calm everybody down before Lotan was summoned," you said.

You were looking down at the table, your mind clearly elsewhere, when that expression flashed across your face.

Barbatos put down the teapot. "Does it make you uncomfortable, MC? When they argue over you this way?"

You met his eyes, seemingly startled by his question. "No," you said. "It's a little silly, but it doesn't make me uncomfortable. Why do you ask?"

"It's only that I've noticed the look of confusion you sometimes have in moments like these," Barbatos said. "As if there's something that troubles you about it."

You frowned in thought for a moment. "I guess I just don't understand why they care so much? Why do they think I deserve this much attention? I just act like a regular human would. Why are they so… obsessed?"

Barbatos chuckled. "Do you truly not see? This is exactly what makes you so fascinating."

"I don't know what you mean," you said.

"Despite being a totally unique individual, you still believe you are ordinary," Barbatos said gently. "I have been alive for a long time, MC. I have met many humans. No two are alike. You are not 'regular' because there is no such thing. You are yourself and that is why we love you."

Barbatos was pleased to see that confused look replaced by a soft blush. "You…?" you couldn't finish your question.

Barbatos took your hand and kissed the back of it. "Indeed," he said. "Even I have fallen under your spell. I will remind you of how special you are for the rest of your life if I must."

You laughed, a little taken aback. "I don't think that's going to be necessary."

Barbatos only smiled, your hand still clasped in his. He was content to see such a soft and sweet expression on your face, a glint of happiness in your eyes. Despite what you said, if he ever did see that confusion there again, he would do everything he could to bring your smile back instead.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[ask-turnedtechgodhead]

this thing on

fuck yes aight check this shit out-

DAVE, I'VE BEGRUDGINGLY COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT STANDING IN A CORNER ALONE SPEWING THE TYPE OF NONSENSICAL BABBLE ONE MIGHT EXPECT FROM A WRIGGLER IS WHAT PASSES FOR ENTERTAINMENT IN YOUR EMPTY THINK PAN.

I'VE EVEN BEGUN TO APPRECIATE IT, IF ONLY BECAUSE WE NEEDED *SOMETHING* TO FILL THE AGONISINGLY LONG SWEEP WE WERE STUCK ON THAT OTHERWISE SILENT AND YET SOMEHOW JUST AS MISERABLE FUCKING ROCK HURTLING THROUGH SPACE TOWARDS CERTAIN DEATH. BUT WHAT IN THE EVER-LOVING SHIT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING WITH THAT BULBOUS FUCKING OVERGROWTH JAMMED AGAINST YOUR RIDICULOUS EYEWEAR?

damn man i thought we covered this in our human tech 101 lessons. its a camera- I KNOW ITS A CAMERA. I WAS TRYING TO LOWER MYSELF TO YOUR LEVEL SO THAT MAYBE YOU WOULD DECIDE TO GRACE ME WITH YOUR ATTENTION AND ACTUALLY LISTEN TO WHAT I HAD TO SAY. try harder SHUT UP. AND ANSWER THE QUESTION. how the hell am i supposed to answer the question if im shutting up? cant have it both ways bro. cant just have your cake and eat it too you either eat that bitch or shut your mouth forever and starve to death- HOLY SHIT WE BOTH KNOW YOU AREN'T GOING TO SHUT UP EITHER WAY. COULD YOU AT LEAST DO ME THE MERCY OF TELLING ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING BEFORE I DROWN IN THE PUTRID STREAM OF BULLSHIT CASCADING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH?

documentary CARE TO EXPAND UPON THAT? OR AM I NOT WORTHY ENOUGH TO GET MORE THAN ONE WORD OUT OF YOU? SHOULD I BE PROSTRATING BEFORE YOU THANKING YOU FOR DEIGNING TO GRACE ME WITH ONE WORD FROM YOUR TIGHT ASS LIPS? 'DOCUMENTARY'. TRULY A HOLY WORD. RELIGIONS WILL FORM AROUND THIS ONE WORD, DAVE. HOLY BOOKS WILL BE WRITTEN ABOUT THOSE ELEVEN LETTERS. TODAY WILL BE CELEBRATED NOT AS THE DAY WE CREATED A NEW UNIVERSE, NO- TODAY WILL BE FOREVER MARKED AS THE DAY DAVE FUCKING STRIDER SAID 'DOCUMENTARY'-

AND GET THAT FUCKING THING OUT OF MY FACE YOU NOOKWHIFFER

holy shit check it out im being censored already

karkat do you support censorship

is this what this is karkat

is this where we find out that this entire session has been your master plan to create a new world for you to go stalin on its ass

because dude im so down to create some propaganda for supreme leader vantases glorious reign

just let me finish this shit first cmon man

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO AGREE TO THAT WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 'THIS SHIT' IS?

i told you man

IF YOU SAY DOCUMENTARY I SWEAR-

documentary

about the creation of the new universe

no big deal or nothing just thought it could be mildly interesting to get on camera

idk ill probably tape over it later for some shitty sitcom rerun

do you think theyll have the simpsons on the new planet

god i hope they do

AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS.

troll the simpsons

YOU CAN'T JUST PUT 'TROLL' IN FRONT OF SOME PANDEAD EARTH THING AND EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHAT IT IS AND HONESTLY, I'M DOWNRIGHT FUCKING INSULTED THAT YOU'D THINK THAT ALTERNIA HAD ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY COMPARABLE TO YOUR EYEGOUGING EXCUSES FOR 'MEDIA'. MY PLANET ACTUALLY HAD STANDARDS, UNLIKE YOUR MISERABLE PILE OF DIRT.

says the guy that was responsible for that pile of dirt

and didnt even record its creation

imagine being an absent father to a whole universe karkat. what the fuck man

thank god im here to break the cycle of abuse

OH, I'M SORRY I COULDN'T RECORD YOUR WASTE OF SPACE PLANET BEING CREATED - I WAS TOO BUSY NEARLY GETTING MURDERED BY THE MURDERBEAST *YOU*-

oh shit idiot shuts up now

thats you youre the idiot

STRIDER I SWEAR TO FUCK

dude seriously shut up

hes doing it man

hes making it hapen

=>

[be-ee]

haha I'm usually too shy for requests but maybe a cute neuvillette fluff??? If that's okay :D

A/N!; Of course! I added a bit more so I do hope you enjoy🫶

“AND I CAN’T HELP, FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU…”

What makes Genshin men fall for you?

𐙚 Ft: Neuvillette, Thoma, and Scaramouche

𐙚 content: Fluff!

𝜗𝜚 Neuvillette falls for your kindness .

Perhaps it’s the tenacity of it. Never flattering or wavering. He watched you often from his position at the fountain as he read. You would smile from your humble flower stall; even when the snobbiest of Fontains nobles would grimace at you. At the end of the day, as you packed up your stall, you would hand him a small bouquet of silk flowers.

“I couldn’t possibly accept this.” He’d protest each time. Each time you would push it into his chest, insisting. “It would only go to waste anyway. Keep it.” Neuvillette Had come across many people in the Courts of Fontain.

All had their own agendas and ulterior motives. But, goodwill was a rarity. The tenderness in your eyes and the way you treated everyone like they were your equals. That was rare. Like a sudden ocean in the desert, or the blooming of a cactus flower. You were a rarity in Fontain. One he didn’t realize he could not do without..

___________________

𝜗𝜚 Thoma falls for your bravery.

As one of the guards of the Kamisato Clan, bravery is to be expected. Especially from the personal guard of Lady Ayaka. So yes, you were brave in a sense that you were prepared to draw your sword at any given moment.

That's not what Thoma had meant, though. Your bravery extends beyond your strength.The way you were able to make yourself smile at the end of the day when all you wanted to do was scream.The way you could be so kind to others when they don't deserve it. How, no matter the situation, you managed to put others before yourself. Or boldly speak your mind.

“I’m not sure how you do it” Thoma admits, when it’s just the two of you sitting on the veranda. You had been sipping tea with Ayaka earlier, but she left not long after the sun began to set, leaving the two of you alone. You smiled lightly

"I think of all the people that need my help." You replied, eyes sparkling. "It's just something I've always done."

Thoma smiled, looking down at the cup in his hand; a small flutter danced in his chest. That’s just how you were…and he hopes that never changes

______________________

𝜗𝜚 Scaramouche falls for your honesty .

Scaramouche , naturally, craves truth. As a being forged in the light of the Electro Archon, he has seen the truth of this world, the ugliness, the beauty, the love, the hate, all that is beautiful, all that is ugly. But no matter what. He could not find pleasantries in one thing. A being he has come across time and time again, Humans. Lying, traitorous, filth.

However, there's something in your eyes that allows him to believe your words are true. He stupidly believes it when you tell him that you’ll stay. So, he lets you.

Perhaps it’s that particular gleam in your eyes. Or the clearness of your voice; how you seem so sure of yourself. But there is something that tells him that you are telling the truth. That you truly will stay with him forever. So, he foolishly believed your words. He doesn't even think twice about it when you tell him.

[talktolwt]

I would like to focus on the music chosen for Hob Gadling's 80s sequence.

I'm extremely late to the world of The Sandman (finally binged it two weeks ago after my mother had been begging me to watch it with her and now I'm more obsessed than her) Bottom line: I'm unbelievably glad I finally watched this beautiful piece of television.

I have yet to read the comics but as for the first season, I have to say, without a doubt, my favorite episode is Chapter 6: The Sound of Her Wings. Death's 20-min segment is a beauty unto itself, but I'll be focusing on Hob's segment today. Specifically, his 80s scenes.

Considering I'm so late to this fandom and exploring all of its wondrous details and themes, excuse me if this has already been noted. I've been thinking about these details over and over but I need to get it out there in the Sandman world and hear everyone else's thoughts.

*Also excuse the terrible photos - Netflix doesn't let you screenshot and I was too lazy to get another app to let me bypass it. Please bear with my photos of my laptop screen.*

There are three songs that play throughout this sequence.

#1 - "She Drives Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals

I accidentally deleted half my post mid-writing this but here I go again.

As we can see, after the breakup scene, we open up on Hob Gadling (he looks amazing in his 80s look, by the way) and this song plays.

Here are the lyrics:

I mean - where do I even start LMAO.

*Let me just give another note - regardless if you ship Dreamling romantically or not, I will be merely analyzing these lyrics as they are and how they convey Hob's feelings for Dream in general. But, I mean, the songs are THERE, the text is THERE. So do with that what you will.*

This will go for the following two songs as well, but these songs are placed with meaningful intention. Each of these offer a unique lens and dive into Hob's feelings.

I won't be annoying and over-explain anything, but the lyrics are clear I feel:

"She drives me crazy" - cough

"Things you do don't seem real" - in Hob's view, Dream literally is an enigma. Hob has no idea the capacities, the limits, and even the name of this being he meets every century.

"This waiting 'round's killing me" - well.

"Everything you say is lies" - now I wouldn't say particularly lies, but Dream does keep and omit things from Hob. Understandably, Hob would find himself in a confused limbo with Dream.

Here's the kicker:

"I won't make it on my own/No one likes to be alone." - HELLO. I mean, if this isn't the core message and pinnacle of Dream and Hob's lesson to immortality.

As Death mentions earlier in the episode, around 18:10, "Most of us will be glad for the company of a friend."

I feel I could go on forever and ever about the beauty of this episode and how well The Sound of Her Wings and Men of Good Fortune intertwine. They beautifully complement each other as stories lamenting the dichotomy of life and death, and the joys of humanity.

But essentially, Death reteaches Dream how beautiful humans can truly be, and in this pivotal moment, she says this zinger of a line. The camera was initially on Death but for THIS line, it cuts to Dream.

BECAUSE - poor Dream is definitely in need a friend.

Which is then shown to the audience by the 30-min long Hob Gadling sequence that ensues, and we see Dream's aversion to needing someone, to needing a friend.

But I digress - back to the song, and that one line about not wanting to be alone.

That is such a poignant line, because as much as Dream felt alone and needed company, so does Hob? An immortal, constantly seeing the death of others around him, his companions and family long gone, he needs someone.

Considering this 80s sequence ruminates so heavily on post-breakup feelings, Hob is missing Dream dearly. His constant in life.

I'm rambling too much, onto the next one!

#2 - "Shattered Dreams" by Johnny Hates Jazz

Time skip to perhaps a few hours later, who knows. We see Hob still waiting for Dream, alone in the pub.

Hm.

Literally what else could I say. I'm being slapped in the face with pining and angst and longing.

Here are the lyrics:

Some noteworthy lyrics:

"So much for your promises/They died the day you let me go" - this breakup man

"Caught up in a web of lies" - another lie motif

"I thought it was you/Who would stand by my side" - the theme of Dream and Hob being constants in each other's lives

"Shattered dreams" - I could scream. The title of the song. SHATTERED. DREAMS. giggling rn.

"Woke up to reality" - I think that's a very interesting line toeing between the constant references of the Waking and the Dreaming

Basically, I've been noting these evident similarities within the songs to align themselves to Dream and Hob's situation, and it's clear that the director/writers chose these songs with intent of it paralleling Dreamling.

So that makes it even more insane when lines like "From this empty heart" are meant to parallel Hob. Like.

Okay, last song.

#3 - "Keep On Moving" by Soul II Soul

This song plays as the night progresses. It's late, it's clear Dream isn't showing up, and Hob is feeling pretty final about that, and perhaps he's accepted it at this point. Dream isn't coming.

So this is where he speaks to the bartender and that scene ensues.

Here are the lyrics:

The themes of time and clocks are super prevalent within this song, and again it's once more clear how heavily this reflects and represents Hob.

Noteworthy lyrics:

"Why do people choose to live their lives this way?" - I think this also uniquely touches on the general aspect of humanity and one's reason to live/love life. Dream battles with his confusion/slight disappointment for humanity at the beginning, as he asks Death, "Why would any sensible creature crave an eternity of this?" And then Hob helps Dream realize why there's so much to live for. (24:30)

"I know the time will come today/The time will come one day"

"Walking alone in my own way" - Again this idea of walking alone and needing company.

"You'll be in my life, my life always" - Dream and Hob being constants again.

This all goes to say - Hob cares. He cares for Dream.

And I just think that's very beautiful. The magnitude with which Dream's absence means to him and how much their friendship/companionship both means to each of them. I just think their connection is a beautiful thing that I love seeing and rewatching. Wonderfully, these songs give the audience even more layered insight into this connection.

This was super long, and I apologize if I went on some tangents. But I also just couldn't help it, The Sandman is so incredibly rich in its storytelling and its connections and dynamics that I had to write this all down. I also just very much appreciate the amount of care and detail that goes into every aspect of television, and needle drops such as these three songs are no exception.

Thank you for sticking with me through this! Can't wait for season 2!

[shawol-lisa-lee9]

TSC has been in my greedy hands for almost 48 hours now, and I managed to read it two and a half times already.

So many things to say about it, so little words I have to be able to do that. So, first of all

1) "Neil is such an unreliable narrator" not true, but can we talk about how Jean is just as much as "unreliable", but in a very different way? In the first three books we had a boy who cared so little about anything that wasn't exy (or Andrew) that he just didn't know/notice/cared enough to even acknowledge important things. In TSC we have a boy who knows SO LITTLE about anything in the World after being isolated for such a long time, that he sees everything through a distorted lens, and even when facts are right in front of him he just doesn't get it. They are not unreliable, they were forcefully taught to focus on things different than the whole picture.

2) Jean to me is so much a mixture of kevandreil it hurts me. He went through so much and yet gained so little it hurts. He has the same desperate will to live as Neil, the same "do what you want to me but keep X out of this" as Andrew (+ a lot of traumas), he has so many mental issues only Kevin can understand and a similar attitude. This not to say he's not "original", he's a very different person from the original trio, but he just... Has all of it. He combines other's main visible issues in one single person and it just hurts to see how much he's hurting but still wants and needs to carry on.

3) Neil X Jean scene at the end hits too hard on my heart. I do not presume to know exactly what my Goddess Nora was attempting to do with that, but my mind has found multiple possibilities on why Neil did what he did, and after all the times I read AFTG (which now amount to at least 35 rereads in a span of 3 years) only one has managed to grab my heart and never leave it. So, the main ones:

- As Jean thinks, Neil took care of Grayson because he is valuable in Ichirou's eyes, so Neil felt the need to protect Jean.

- Neil is aware of what Jean went through and is human enough to care for him, now that he knows he's not just a dick, and is willing to make sure Jean feels safe.

- Neil, being the person he is and having seen what Drake did to Andrew's mind, is not going to let Grayson do the same to anyone, especially someone he knows. As someone said here on Tumblr, "Neil is not gonna let a rapist alive if he can".

As I've come to understand the characters, for the first one, not even Neil is that cold that would just care about a person if they are valuable enough to him. In the second hypothesis, Neil is not the type of guy to just care that much about someone outside the foxes lot, but it's still a realistic idea, considering what Jean did for him in TRK. Third scenario, the most realistic and authentic one to me, he's not willing to let anyone get away with forcing themselves on another, even less if it's someone he knows and can do something about it. Which is also the reason why I'm obsessed with this scene and I would pay gold to see it in Neil's pov even when I know it's not possible.

4) Last point for this useless rant, CAN WE TALK ABOUT WYMACK? I swear to god that man is my absolute nightmare (in a good way), I just can't get over how much of a saint he is with those idiotic children he cares for + Jean. I just love him so much. He is rude and raw and can't be truly nice to save his life, but he cares, he cares about them with all his soul and he's not going to leave them alone when they need a helping hand the most.

I kind of wish coach Rhemann was like him, but at the same time I don't because a) if he was he would probably be at PSU, and b) I want him to be a completely different kind of dad to his boys and girls. (but I'm still going to cry on all of his scenes because that man is just too much for me (and for Jean), understanding but not pushing, being respectful of boundaries and "This was the belligerent stare of a man who’d haul Lucas out of there by force if Jean indicated he didn’t want to be alone with him.". )

So, yeah. I'm probably going to read it a third time tonight.

[starrbright]

Wade The Gallows

December 14. I was going through a lot this day and I had the beginning written down almost immediately. So, bear with me. Two cups of tall coffees for this, damn 🏃🏽‍♀️

800 words. angst. mentions of suicide. all my y/n are fat and of color.

passage above is from Morgan Matson's Amy and Roger's Epic Detour

mdni banner by @cafekitsune

"Hey." The softest of word one could merely utter gently to me and I'd be on my knees. A tug at my heart. I always believed that word is so gentle, well, mostly because I think it's a call for attention, but out of benignity. To pull you out of whatever you may be in but tenderly.

Whenever he says it, I melt. The word alone and from the man I let wield the power over me. I'm nothing. A breath of fresh air to me the second I feel I'm not of this world. That I live when I don't exist for a moment as I'm in his hold.

Such a word.

And the second he utters it twice, finally takes me back to present. The heaviness of his presence surrounds me. I wish it could always blanket me. Forever wash away what bites my being. Yet all is fleeting.

All the more reason for me to feel the shudder that crawls through my skin as his breath blows behind me, with his hands holding me close. To cherish the comfort of his concern through knowing silence before all is said.

"Speak to me." He says. Any other time, I would have been in his grasp to easily command, but of course--this is different. Still and always, with his hold on me, is what grounds me. "Please."

How could I have ever been so lucky?

How did it come to this anyways.

Suppose I have been too far in my head that I hadn't seen him seeing me, even as I stitch myself presentably, he can see all the threads behind in such a tangled and unfathomable mess.

I'm afraid there's nothing I could hide from him even if I want to.

And if there's anything I know truly, is that such blessings we could see surround us, must be honoured.

As his warmth surrounds me more, closing the distance behind us, coldness running over my body for a second from the sensation of being engulfed by his warmth. His arm squeezing me tightly against his chest as he feels it.

His face nestled in my neck, I welcome myself in his embrace, basking in the nothingness for what time could let me have, for as long as he let me.

And as I got myself out again, "Hey." He whispered, and I almost smiled and laughed.

I twined my hand on his where it lays on my stomach as I nuzzle my head against his chest. "Hi." Barely a whisper.

He squeezed my hand, holding me even more on him. "Hi." His hot breath almost could sedate me.

I don't speak after that but just remained loose in his grasp.

He keeps me together.

"Can I carry you to bed?" He asked. I wouldn't even have to answer.

There he kneels before me as I sit on the edge of his bed.

God, he has my heart.

"Forgive me..." I merely spoke, not meeting his eyes. Would it be bad if I hope he'd be angry? "Don't be mad." What a lie.

I'm not ready to see the hurt in his eyes. "I..I've been...thinking of killing myself lately a lot."

His hands holding mine turns tighter, I feel his gaze on me not breaking, nor even falter. "Will you look at me?"

It only takes once for me to listen to his.....plea.

It's not long to see the pain underneath him. How cruel do I have to be to feel solace in them.

Too much a human I have become.

It's only inevitable for him to blame himself but he figures maybe that would be selfish if he thought of himself first before you when it is you who has been hurting all along.

So he does what he think is best--to be there with you. As he always has been.

He doesn't speak, instead graced you with his lips on your knuckles, making each tender kiss last, never letting his eyes stray as he does.

There's something so to behold in the comfort we can offer with silence, taking a part of what breaks us, almost giving us a clean slate.

And I want to kill myself. I do. But I want to hear my brother's laugh more. I want to see my nephew and niece grow up. I want to see my friends more.

And I want to feel him more everyday. To hear my heart bang so loud in my chest as he slowly kiss all of my fingertips, each kiss so soft yet unyielding.

We're only human after all.

"Let me bathe you." He spoke after kissing your knuckles once again.

And there you were in the bathroom as he strips you off just after he drew you a bath.

There you were both under the water, laying against his chest as he's sitting back on the bathhub.

What more could I ask for as he hold my hands, flowing our fingers gently above the water, his face resting softly upon mine, with his heart beating against me, reminding me of my own.

A blessing of the many from being a human in this land.

"Will you let me?" He asks as he slowly free your hands to run them up slowly your arms. And you let out only the faintest of 'yes'.

I want to kill myself.

But I want to feel this more as he gives himself to me as I for him, each time.

[justintaco]

I've been up for almost 24 hours so

superheavy Lonetrail Muelsyse spoilers

Besides the like, uncountable amount of stuff that blew me away in Lonetrail,

linking together Mansfield Break and Dorothy's Vision with Vigilo and Walk in the Dust

creating thematic parallels with Near Light at the end,

what really blew me away was Muelsyse.

Anyone who's followed this blog for a long time knows I'm not big on shipping and I'm semi-public with my opinion that most times shipping brain completely poisons someone's ability to actually engage with a narrative. But honest to god, even to me, they seemed to be almost writing a romance with Doctor and Mumu.

Blink twice if you don't think I'm crazy.

like any gacha you have a lot of flirty lines between the player character and a million of the girls (and guys), but like, this seemed unusually genuine and romantic?

(x)

Like besides them sharing a dance and all their cute little scenes, they seemed to be creating a genuine parallel in their backstories and who they are as people here

Mumu discovers she isn't actually the last of her race but realizes that she has so little in common with them she cannot form any meaningful connection or even find a shared language with them. Her integration into human society is like, almost all just an act of survival by her own admission, she doesn't feel any belonging there either. In fact, most of the time her real body is hiding in her vivarium because the physical world itself is becoming so poisoned by originium that it's dangerous to leave using anything but a clone. Even in her flashback with Saria and Kristen, she seems to be the third wheel.

She is by every possible metric, completely alone. And it seems like her chronic teehee backstabbing is a coping mechanism to feeling completely alienated from even her closest friends and what becomes her second family with the Rhine Lab directors. Even that dysfunctional and over idealized family is gone now too. She even says the following after she betrays Doctor for one last ditch effort to throw in her lot with Kristen and maybe find somewhere out in the stars she can belong:

Compare that with the Doctor, who in this event witnesses what seems to be the death of the last member of their race. In fact, the dialogue implies that Doctor feels an incredible amount of anguish even just pulling the plug on Trevor since it's not so quick a death. Directly after this event, after escaping the big silo bunker thing, Doctor's first thought is to go seek out Mumu rather than regroup with everyone from RI (including Saria who just reentered the atmosphere Halo 3 style). It feels like a response to an epiphany.

Earlier, Doctor had managed to actually get her to tell the truth about herself during their dance. How isolated she feels without any past or family, just like Doctor. So they go directly to her, fresh off of losing the last connection to their past life besides Kal'tsit (who is implied to not only be unwilling but in some way unable to share more info with Doctor).

You then get what is this, extremely deeply intimate conversation between Doctor and Muelsyse, commiserating over their shared loneliness.

She tries to play things off with her usual shtick but pretty quickly she admits that saving those random Control goons on the ship was her failed attempt at suicide because Saria had well and truly kicked her out of the triumvirate to confront Kristen alone.

After that she begins connecting with Doctor on a deeper level than any character I can really recall. As much as I love the ex wife Kal'tsit stuff, they really don't seem to have a romantic attachment. A very very close and intimately trusting one, maybe a past romance, but never romantic with Doctor as they exist in the present since waking up. Doctor views other characters like Amiya, Ifrit, and Rosmontis as children to be protected. But this here is these two really baring their souls and it's just crazy to see in a gacha game where the format discourages stuff like this.

Just, man I love this whole conversation. They've both just learned recently that they can't shed their loneliness with what's left of their races. Muelsyse is totally at the end of her rope, but Doctor has just learned that the only thing they can do is fully commit to the people they know in the present. So despite Mumu's one final attempt to put a barrier up between her and another person, a literal physical barrier of water

Doctor walks right into the barrier and literally reaches out to her to help save her with what they just learned that same day

Muelsyse refers to the parts not in blue here (blue usually being the only confirmed dialogue Doctor says out loud in any given cutscene) when she talks to Nasti later. That means the Doctor said all of this out loud.

Again, am I crazy or does this feel like the most romantic Doctor has ever been with another character?

A lot of himejoshis on Twitter have been mad about the event and what it means for Mumu x Ho'ohleyak, Mumu x Saria, or Muelsyse x her OT3 with Saria and Kristen, and honestly

they might have a point

[7-wonders]

In Waking Hours

Roommate!Calliope & GN!Reader (platonic)

Summary: Calliope's planning to enjoy a nice, quiet evening sitting outside under the moon and enjoying her relative freedom when she sees you still haunted by a particularly brutal nightmare. Plans change, because she's not about to let you face the worst parts of her former husband's realm alone, obviously.

Word count: 3.6k

A note from the author: (You don't have to, but you'll have a lot more backstory if you read To the world we dream about first)

Shitty summary but you have a nightmare and Calliope's like "well this is my emotional support human so I can't not help!" WOW this is the first time I've felt truly inspired when writing in months. S/o Calliope girl hope I'm doing you proud by giving you the stories and love you deserve.

So, I know that this isn't going to get a lot of love since there's no actual Morpheus in this, just mentions which means my normal tags can’t be used, but I love this little fic-verse I've created so much that I have to write it. (All this is to say please show this fic some love if you enjoyed!!!) This isn't romantic, but there are definitely romantic fics in the pipeline. The nice thing about a loose fic-verse is that there are plenty of fics for you to read if you don't want an eventual throuple :)

(But hopefully there will be plenty of fics for you to read if you do want an eventual throuple)

I would be remiss to not shout out the reason this fic-verse exists in the first place and the person that I can talk about any and every random fic idea with, the lovely @ivandra-winters! Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything.

Calliope doesn’t really sleep well anymore.

Not that she needs sleep in general. She’s a goddess, after all, and divine beings such as herself only sleep because they want to, because they feel like indulging in all the wonders available to them upon closing their eyes. Few things truly and regularly excite beings of myth, but the Dreaming is one of those few things. Only very rarely, such as in cases of extreme injury, do they need to sleep. Mostly, sleeping is a comfort, a way to pass the time.

In the early days of her imprisonment, after Erasmus Fry first captured her, Calliope thought that she would use sleep for both. Though her relationship with her husband had ended about as terribly as a relationship can end, the Dreamlord had never reneged on his promise to always give Calliope the sweetest of dreams. She would rest, then, and find a distraction and comfort in the Dreaming until someone, be it her sisters or her mothers or somebody seeking her favor, would save her.

Then, she found out all the terrible things one person can do to another while they’re unconscious.

Even though she’s now safe, the once-familiar action no longer comes easy to her. Almost every time she’s tried—and those have been few and far between—she wakes up in a panic before she can fall asleep enough to even make it to the Dreaming. When she closes her eyes, she sees them once more. Both of them, Fry and Madoc, taking what was never theirs in the first place. She feels their cruel, rough hands on her body, hears their voices demanding that she give them inspiration for their works. 

(Works that she wishes would be little more than drivel. But no, nothing inspired—forcefully or not—by her could ever be drivel. They’re wild successes every time, and so the men just continue to take take take until Calliope thinks that she has nothing left to give. But she does, because she is the Muse of Epic Poetry, and for as long as people still believe in her, she shall be a source of inspiration. And so she continues to be drained like a tree of its sap, an essence so integral to her being that she knows not who she is without it. Until one day, when Madoc returns to his home ranting and raving—and there is a knock at the door.)

Calliope’s been doing some reading on the device that you gave her, the one that’s like a digital library, and she believes she might have what today’s humans call Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The inability to sleep, the flashbacks, the ever-present hum of vigilance that still thrums under her skin and warns her that the threat might be just around the corner—it’s all there, and it’s all her. It’s humiliating to think about it as a possibility, and more humiliating still to see herself in the words written. 

Goddesses shouldn’t have trauma! They shouldn’t even be in a position where trauma could be inflicted on them! She misses the age when she was at her strongest, the age when people worshipped the very ground she walked on, dropping to their knees in reverence and begging for her gifts.

But that world is long gone, and Calliope has landed in a new one that is entirely foreign to her. Slowly, though, she likes to think that she’s adjusting. Since the night is long and sleeping is not an option for her at present, she finds other ways to pass the hours when the rest of the world rests. The 21st century is new and exciting, and there is much to catch up on. 

Not only is she learning more about this new world, but she’s also learning herself all over. There are hobbies that she gets to discover once more, enjoyments that she forgot were hers. She listens to music (music now is…very different from even a hundred years ago, but there have been some works that she enjoys) and reads—not just the books that tell her things about herself that she does not wish to hear, but she reads epics! And poetry! How she missed poetry; that special language so near and dear to her, the words of her most favorite patrons. She reads all that she can get her hands on, good and bad, for the simple pleasure of being able to read once more.

Oftentimes, she simply enjoys the quiet at night. She basks in the knowledge that she can do what she wants, when she wants, with nobody lording over her or imposing their will. Yes, she is still technically bound to a human, but that is a non-issue. Calliope knows with absolute certainty that you have no idea of who she is or what Richard Madoc had done when he declared that she was your problem now.

She likes living with you, though it has been an adjustment being what you call a ‘roommate’ instead of a captive. Whereas the two men (if such brutes can be referred to as men) had been the worst of humanity, she finds humanity endearing when she sees it through your lens. How can she not develop a fondness for you, with how earnestly you try to include her in your life and make her feel like she belongs? 

There is also some level of comfort to be gained from the blissful ignorance you live in, the way that you believe your world to be black-and-white with no potential of the things you were taught to be nothing more than myths and stories. To you, such tales don’t exist—Calliope, the Muse, doesn’t exist—and Calliope, the woman, feels that she is able to let her guard down for the first time in a long, long time.

At times, she can feel your desperation for some sort of inspiration, lost as you attempt to complete your studies. It is comforting to know that you have no idea the being that you now share a home with. It is even more comforting to know that she has the choice of whether to grant you some inspiration or not. 

Tonight, Calliope decides for herself once more, and thinks that she would rather like to sit outside on the patio and enjoy the late night. With her mind made up, she sneaks out of her bedroom with a blanket in one hand and a book in the other.

“Oh!” Calliope gasps in surprise, startled upon seeing a figure sitting on the couch. 

Moonlight shines through the curtains that were most definitely closed a few short hours ago and illuminates your face staring out at the dark. She relaxes, but her fear immediately shifts to concern upon seeing what look to be tear tracks drying on your face.

“Hey. I’m sorry.” Just as she suspected, your voice is thick with tears. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Do not apologize,” she lightly chastises you. “Are you alright?”

You nod and use your sleeve to wipe under your eyes. “Yeah.”

It’s obvious that you’re planning on leaving it at that, which simply won’t do. Calliope levels you with a stare (a ‘mom stare,’ you teasingly referred to it as the first time she used it, without knowing how true your words were. One day, she thinks, she’ll tell you about Orpheus. Once the pain of losing him stops hurting so much) that you try your hardest to act unaffected by. You sigh after a moment, knowing that the fight is lost.

“I had a nightmare,” you admit. “And like, I’m not a little kid anymore. So why did this nightmare scare me so badly that I literally woke up and jumped out of bed in fear?”

Well, that explains why she heard a noise of surprise from your room, followed by a loud thump. She assumed that you hadn’t yet gone to bed, that you were up late finishing a project or just plain procrastinating your sleep. Why your late night required what sounded like the moving of furniture was beyond her. But no, instead, you’ve found yourself at the whims of a nightmare. 

Nightmares are not something that Calliope has a lot of experience with. She’s met nightmares, of course. With how much time she spent in the Dreaming, it was a foregone conclusion that she met a nightmare or two. And when they weren’t performing their duties, a lot of them were really quite nice!

(The only nightmare she truly could not stand was her former husband’s most beloved creation—The Corinthian. He…creeped her out, for lack of a better term. It wasn’t just the ocular mouths, though those were also chill-inducing. Rather, it was his entire demeanor. Like he was simply playing nice, biding his time before he could go in for the kill. She was glad to have never seen him again after the end of her marriage.)

But has Calliope ever actually dealt with a nightmare? The lives of immortals are long (obviously), and while she may have once had nightmares when she was very young, it was so long ago now that she can’t remember any particulars. Even when her own son was young, nightmares were not truly a concern. Though she and Morpheus had mutually agreed that he needed to sleep like a normal child at least sometimes in order to aid in his development, the very first time his little brow creased and frightened whimpers began to well in his throat, that decision was quickly forgotten in favor of comforting the boy and assuring him that nightmares would harm him no longer.

So, while it’s true that she does not have much experience with nightmares, what little experience she has had helps her to know just how frightening they can be—and how frightened it’s made you. 

“Would talking about it make you feel better?” Calliope asks.

You shake your head resolutely, determined to keep your fears to your chest. “I don’t remember it anymore.”

For many mortals, dreams and nightmares do not follow them out of the Dreaming. They may remember snippets of it, or certain emotions, but often, they fade away in the few hazy moments after waking. It’s pretty obvious that this isn’t the case for you, however. You continue to hold yourself tense, as though whatever had troubled you while you slept would reappear at any moment. Calliope has also seen you deep in thought a couple of times now, and the way you were looking outside when she first stepped out of her room was the same way she had seen you look when trying to complete schoolwork or focus on making something complicated. 

Up until now, you’ve tried so hard to always be positive and to make your home and yourself as comforting as possible so that Calliope may have the best possible environment to heal. She appreciates it—this new life she’s found herself in has truly been conducive to recovery—but now, she struggles to watch you try to keep up this facade so as not to lay your upsets upon her. She wishes that you would, though; that you would feel like you can confide in her the same way that you have made her feel towards you. After all that you’ve done for her, you deserve to feel like you have gained a friendship. 

Calliope will let you keep your secrets, then, even though this means that particular avenue of help is closed—she will not force you to do anything that you do not want to do. She moves on to Plan B, into the kitchen where she fumbles around until finding the kettle. Filling it with water, she places it on a burner and turns the stove on. Though she’s still not very confident around newer inventions like kitchen appliances, she’s proud of the fact that she’s slowly learning.

At the sounds, you peek up from the couch. “What are you doing?”

“What you’ve done for me when I find myself particularly upset,” she says, fetching two mugs from the cupboard.

“You’re making me tea?” Your voice sounds strangled, as though you can’t imagine why she would be providing you this small comfort.

You first started making tea for Calliope on the night that she technically became ‘yours.’ After locking herself in the bathroom and scrubbing her skin raw under the stream of hot water until she was sure that every inch of her body was clean from the DNA of another, she spent an interminable amount of time just enjoying the knowledge that she was now safe. While it was true that you were still practically a stranger, she had lived for long enough now and had honed her gifts well enough to be able to get a good read of a person’s intentions.

From the moment that she met you, you held none of the same ill will as the others. No, your immediate concern had been making sure that she was warm. When was the last time somebody cared for how she felt? She watched intently as you grabbed a coat from your vehicle, sure that, at any moment, your intentions toward her would change. Though she didn’t believe that she had the power (both strength and will) to fight you off, she would not be caught off-guard if it came to that.

But it never did. You simply wanted to make sure that she was out of harm’s way. You concluded on your own that whatever had happened to her in that house, at the hands of the man you called your professor, was horrific. To you, Calliope was a woman, battered and scared, with nothing to her name and nowhere to go. It was the obvious option to offer her food and shelter, to ensure her safety, simply because it was the right thing to do.

Still, even after your show of immense kindness, she did not want to face you, for some part of her was waiting for the inevitable. When you would demand the use of her gifts, wanting inspiration and fame and power and riches. She was dreading the potential that you were simply another human wanting to take take take. So she waited until the water ran cold and she was shivering. Even then, it took until she physically could stand the water no longer for her to finally make slow moves to get ready to leave the bathroom. Toweling herself off and putting on the borrowed clothes (clothes that actually covered her skin, so much more than the satin slips that she had been granted by her former captors) could only take so long, so with a heavy sigh, she steeled herself and opened the door.

There was no sign of you, however, and a quick glance at the light from under the closed door of one bedroom indicated that you were inside. The only sign of life that proved that you were once in this space was a plate and a mug sitting on the counter. When Calliope cautiously got closer, she saw a note next to them. 

“Made you some dinner and tea. I’ve always been told that tea (or your preferred hot beverage of choice) can do wonders for making you feel better, and I’ve found that to be true a few times now. Sweet dreams!”

Your name was signed at the end, along with what looked like a drawing of a smile.

Aware of the very real possibility that this could be a trap—Fry, after all, had first tried to woo her before taking what he believed to be his by force—she hastily grabbed the ceramicware and made off to the room that you had called hers. She had no real need for food, of course, nor for bathing. But they were those same creature comforts that not even the gods were above, and beyond sporadic, cold baths, they were creature comforts she had been denied for over sixty years. Calliope would take any that she could get, especially when they were (seemingly) freely given. Unfortunately, she was not in a position to spurn such gifts right now.

These gifts kept coming, without an expectation of anything in return from her. She was free to take whatever she wanted, go anywhere she liked, do anything she wished. And you were always there to cheer her on and encourage her, with a smile on your face and (when she wanted it) tea in hand.

“‘Make’ should perhaps be used loosely.” She smiles sheepishly, back in the present as the kettle begins to warm. “Depending on how much of your help I shall need after the water boils.”

You wrap a blanket around yourself and make your way to Calliope. “Then we’ll make it together.”

After the tea has been successfully prepared and you’re both settled back on the couch with a large blanket shared between you, Calliope asks, “Do you have nightmares often?”

“Not like when I was little. I was one of those kids that had night terrors, y’know?” She doesn’t know, because she has never heard of them more beyond being mentioned in passing when she was still wife to Dream of the Endless, but she nods regardless. “Apparently, I would just scream and shake until I ran out of breath and woke myself up.”

“I am so sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay. Like most kids with night terrors, I never remembered them.” You take another sip from your mug. “This is good tea, by the way.”

“You are the one that determined when the tea was done steeping.”

“Yeah, but you boiled the water, which is an integral part of tea-making.” You smile at her, the first smile she’s seen from you tonight, and it makes her feel a little better, like she’s doing something right. “So well done.”

You fall quiet, having said what you wanted to say regarding your nightmare and choosing instead to enjoy your tea. Though you’re content with companionable silence, Calliope is not. She feels like she should be doing more to help you, to comfort you. Caring for another, helping someone to feel better, does not come easily to her like it once did. She has been burned for too long now, that caring nature snuffed out early on in her imprisonment. But slowly, like the first blades of grass pushing back through the soil of a blackened landscape after a wildfire, new life has started to grow in the middle of this scorched area of her heart. She wants to help you, to care for you. 

She wants to make you feel better.

“My younger sister, Thalia, is far better at this than I,” Calliope admits with a sigh.

“Better at what?”

“At cheering people up.” 

Indeed, Thalia did not preside over comedy for no reason. Many times over the years that she’s been unwillingly away from her family, Calliope found herself wishing that Thalia would be right next to her. She loves all of her sisters equally, but Thalia would have effortlessly known what to say or told an anecdote that would have made her imprisonment easier. Perhaps it would have even given her the extra strength needed to truly fight and find a way out.

You bump Calliope’s shoulder with your own. “You’ve done a really good job of that yourself, Cal.” 

She feels her chest warm, both at the compliment and the term of endearment. Somewhere along the way, you (and your friends, who are just as kind and welcoming to her as you have been) adopted a nickname for her. This is new for her—prior to her imprisonment, she was Calliope, eldest of the Muses Nine, Beautiful-Voiced, Chief of All Muses. She has always been Calliope. But now, sometimes she is Callie, or Cal. Those who call her this do not know that they are in the presence of a goddess, that she should be commanding the respect that she deserves from mortals who believe her one of them.

Instead, she finds that she loves having a nickname.

“You have…eight sisters, right?” you ask.

“Yes. Thalia is the second youngest.” Calliope has only spoken about her sisters in the most vague of ways, hesitant to reveal too much. Telling you the names of a sister or two certainly won’t hurt.

“It must be so much fun when you’re all together.”

Calliope smiles wistfully, feeling that familiar pang of homesickness. “It is. There are lots of laughs shared, and we all leave with enough stories to last until we see one another again.”

It hits her almost as soon as the words leave her mouth: There is something that she can do to help. She can do what she does best, that which is her chief function. She can tell you a story. Already the words come to her, the tale writing itself within her, nestled right at the hollow of her throat, and just waiting for her to speak it aloud. Her inspiration, her gift, is used on herself for the first time in a long time, and as her mind goes to work, she remembers why it is that she is so coveted. It feels intoxicating to think up a story once more, to be inspired to create. It’s an old feeling, one that was once so familiar to her, that it feels quite like a homecoming for her to be experiencing it once more.

“Have I ever told you of the wager that Thalia and our sister Mel once had?” she asks, baiting you.

You look at her curiously and take said bait. “No.”

Calliope smiles, feeling her power hum within her as, for the first time in a long, long time, she prepares an epic of her own. “Well, it started one summer…”

•••

Fic-verse taglist! (If you want to be notified when future parts drop, shoot me a message or an ask and I'll add you!)

@aralezinspace @morpheusbaby3 @juwu-theliciosa @pageswithoutaplot @thatonehumanbeing05

[dinums]

Secrets and Broken Hearts

-----------------------------

Chapter 4

Thomas Shelby x (Writer) Reader

"I am a woman in love, I wear my heart on my sleeve and smile with not a single thought. I am a woman in love, happily content to where I shall be and where I shall go, as long as I am with him."

Authors Note: I made this story with not much thought, but I wanted to portray the reader and Tommy living their separate lives to have you, readers, have a gist on what its like, to make the character, Ms. Bennett feels real. I don't really know if that makes sense or if I'm doing it correctly, but please enjoy :)))

Two days and six hours, it's been exactly two days and six hours since I've started this investigation that I burdened myself with. All I've been getting are bits of information from the men and women. Women loved to gossip, so much so that they became one of the sources of said information. These missing wives, they had nothing in common with one another. They were just normal working women before they got married and settled down. What would society even do with them? I feel like a jester, juggling my social life together with this secret double life. I never really got used to such taxing activities mentally. This whole investigation, could it be some murderer? Human Traffickers? Surely, this culprit had a motive, a reason, something these women had that they wanted, something these women can give, choice or not.

"Why does everyone call you by your last name?" Andrew suddenly asked, which made me look over at the small child playing by the racks of clothes in William's shop.

Tilting my head, I seem to not know the reason behind it either. Andrew is the son of the man I visited to get close to have more information about the missing wives rather than relying on gossip alone. The child himself was quite entertaining to be around. He spoke so freely about his mother, telling stories of how loving the woman can be.

"Well, if you want, you can call me by my first name," I said with a smile. Walking over to crouch down to his eye level, I gave him a pat on the head, which earned me a smile in return

"Isn't this a sight, hm?" I heard the familiar voice of William from behind. He was at the back with Catherine earlier, presumably sorting out fabrics and dresses.

"C'mon, I've only offered to let this little guy stay here while his father worked, for the assurance that nothing will happen," I said softly though assuming from their reactions, it wasnt taken quite kindly. The statement itself was considered a lie. I lied. Lying straight to the face of the man I love, like how I would every day to everyone, including this child.

"So you don't want me here... Ms. (Y/N)?" Andrew asked me, his face looked sad, eyes like melting glaciers about to fall.

"Of course not, I just meant that I couldn't risk you being alone without your father, even though -"

"So you care for me.. right?" The little child said, hopeful, which made me think, how can he care about my feelings towards him in such a small amount of time we've been together? Children truly are innocent, things to be kept safe from the world we live in. Furthermore, care. To care is to help, a genuine action done out of the kindness of one's own heart. I do that, correct? I think for a moment, my actions, words, and emotions all contradict one another. Both men in the room seemed to take notice of my silence, which in turn made me aware. Aware that they can never know these thoughts, to Bury it, to hide. Breaking from my thoughts, I smiled at the child.

"Of course I do, but later your father will pick you up, I'll have William stay with you since I need to go for a bit, yeah?" Standing back up, I walked over to William. He then wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning against him while I looked back at Andrew. Understandingly, the child nodded, which made me smile.

"Eh? Where will my heart go? Guess she'll leave me alone once again..." William joked, kissing me on the cheek, which made me chuckle.

Seeing the display of affection, the child grimaced and then ran off to play somewhere else, which made me and William laugh.

"I promised you a date. Therefore, you must let me go for a while to prepare," I giggled. Going to dates on Friday was kind of like our tradition, a simple act to show love and to feel it radiate from each other. Feeling his lips on mine for a brief moment, I smiled.

"Alright, I'll pick you up at our place," William smiled. He's always such a loving man, doing more than beyond.

"See you later, love," I said, parting with a kiss before I headed out. Love was something I wasn't familiar with, which sometimes led me to be confused on how to act around William, though lucky enough that he guided me through it.

Walking down the street, I'm greeted with familiar faces. Some I can't remember the names. The smoke filled air, and the mud on my shoes did little to dampen my mood. Suddenly, people started to run about, screaming and shouting.

Confused, I slowed my footsteps. There, on a shop, a lifeless man was dead with Danny holding a bloody knife. My eyes widened, I tried to move, but nothing came out, I held my breath, and though I investigated crimes like this, I never saw a man dead right in front of me. From this day, I'm sure I'll never get used to this.

Someone passes by me, but it can be considered more like shoved. It was Thomas Shelby. He went over, took the knife from the man's hand, and calmed him down. The scene deescalated just as quickly as it happened. Once Thomas got Danny to go away, coming with some surge of confidence, I began to walk towards him with his hack turned to me.

"Mr. Shelby..?" I said softly as to not startle the man, whipping his head back, he looked at me without uttering a word, he simply raised a brow which I took as a cue to keep going.

"What will happen to Danny now..? He just -" stopping myself to look at the dead body in front of us, he followed my gaze and just shook his head. Taking a cigarette, he lit one up and placed it on his mouth, blowing the smoke in the corpses' direction. "Mr. Shelby, I worry for him and his family.."

"Don't stick your nose into others' business, saves you the trouble, eh?" He said, as he was about to walk past me. He took my hand and gave me a few quids, which caused me confusion. Was this for my silence? Though that seems rather odd since a quarter of the town already saw what happened, or was it so I'd stop with being so nosy?

"For the bread."

"Bread? What bread?" I asked, my brows furrowed as I looked up at the man. The more he acted, the more he perplexed me. Seeing his face, he tilted his head as if he should be confused

"You dont remember, again?" I shook my head, remembering what he gave me moments ago, i tried to have him take the money back, but he refused, saying he already gave them, so it'll be no use. In the end, he walked away and left me be, confused, I placed the coins inside my coat pocket before walking home. What did i forget again? No matter what I have other things to do at the moment, I need to get the memory of the dead body out my head.

After preparing for my date, at eight o'clock sharp there was a knock on the door, I smiled and opened it. William appeared with a bouquet and fresh smile, I'm taken back to memories when he was still courting me.

"Flowers for the beautiful lady?" He asked, which I gladly took. Holding up his hand, I held them. I locked the door, and we began to walk towards the pathway to a small restaurant.

"Thank you for this, for everything, Will," I said while we kept walking hand in hand.

"Then I should thank you too"

"For what?"

"For letting me love you"

"Then, you're welcome."

With that, we spent the rest of the day together, I told him about what happened earlier, and he's told me of stories he heard and so on. Everything feels nice. It feels like home as we both made it out to be.

...

That night, Ms. Bennett was content with her lover. Everything played out perfectly. She lived a good life and was happily in love. Maybe fate can say the same for the man she bumped into earlier as he's inside the Garrison, enthralled by the singing Barmaid before him. Surely both Ms. Bennett and Mr. Shelby will live their lives with love found in someone else's eyes.

[666writingcafe]

Exam Prep, Part One

Barbatos

"Your professor has informed me that lately you have been struggling with the lab portion of your seductive speechcraft class," I calmly tell MC, who sighs.

"I can block advances just fine, but actually trying to seduce someone is proving to be quite difficult," they explain. "I don't feel like I'm sounding genuine, if that makes sense. I mean, I never had that much luck with it in the human world, and it seems like I've not had to work super hard here, which still baffles me, but that's a topic for another day." Interesting. I didn't realize they were that introspective. Most humans aren't.

"If it's any consolation, you're doing better than some other demons."

"Like Levi?" I allow myself to smirk, amused by their observation.

"Exactly. Leviathan either can't bring himself to seduce anyone at all, or he pulls from existing media and provides out-of-context lines that don't fit the person he's talking to. From what I've heard, you at least are trying to be original. We--your professor and I--just think that there's room for improvement."

"Of course."

"So, for today's session, I want you to try to seduce me." Of course, that's the moment Diavolo decides to walk past the room MC and I are in. My back may be turned to him, but I can still sense his energy.

You may watch, but do not disturb us.

Understood.

"What?" MC asks, appearing both confused and terrified.

"I am one of the oldest and most powerful demons in the Devildom. If you can manage to produce some sort of effect on me, then you'll pass your exam with flying colors."

"But I don't know that much about you."

"A demon never has a lot of information on a particular human when they first encounter one, but they can use past experiences and context clues in order to be successful."

"I see." In order to ease their nerves, I kindly smile at them.

"Just try the best you can." MC closes their eyes and begins one of the breathing exercises that I taught them.

Why are you doing this? Diavolo just can't resist the urge, can he?

Their power is heavily tied to their emotions.

That isn't what I'm talking about, Barbatos.

Would you rather I have them seduce you, Young Master? Silence. Excellent.

MC opens their eyes, and immediately something seems different about them.

"You do so much for Lord Diavolo, the brothers, and the Devildom at large," they state. "Any other person would have gone insane from the sheer amount of responsibility, and yet you stand here before me with a cool, calm demeanor."

"Practice," I respond.

"You have most people fooled into believing that this life is easy for you, but not me. I know that you work a thankless job that forces you to put everyone before yourself." They're glowing, which isn't entirely unusual for them, but the color's different this time. It's not completely white like it normally is.

"Deep down, you want someone to take care of you. You have been forced to hold yourself up for so long, and you are utterly exhausted. You feel completely alone, like there's not a single soul in the entire universe that would want to take the time to get to know who you truly are." As they step closer to me, I can see spots of pink mixed in with their white light. I don't know how, but I think they've managed to tap into a portion of Asmodeus's power.

"I want to help you, not because I want anything in return, but because I care deeply about you. You deserve to have someone love you unconditionally." MC gently grabs my hand and leans closer to me. "All I ask of you is to let me in. Allow me to grow closer to you, Barbatos."

One might expect MC to take the opportunity to kiss me, but instead they remain still, staring into my eyes. My heart begins beating faster, and I find it harder to focus on my surroundings. In this moment, I finally understand why everyone seems so enamored with MC. I don't even have a pact with them, and yet my mind is begging them to give me an order to follow.

As MC steps back, the glow emanating from them begins dissipating. They're returning to normal.

Why can't I?

"Barbatos? Are you alright?" Shit. I'm on duty. They're not supposed to see me in this condition.

"You'll do just fine, MC." My voice sounds hoarse, and I have no idea why.

Someone's caught feelings.

I would appreciate it if you didn't tease me, Young Master.

But I'm not wrong.

That is irrelevant.

[hecckyeah]

I know most of us are curled up in the fetal position and sobbing, but I have to be that annoying (helpful??) voice of reason.

THE BREAKUP IS NOT PERMANENT. if it is, I'll eat my hat.

every move this season has led to this, ever since literal episode one. it was foreshadowed and I'm mad that I was too dumb to see it. and unfortunately, I can see the reasoning behind it. as a writer and a human I can see it. for Tim, it just got to be too much. he walked away to protect her. he saw the pain this issue put her through and he couldn't live with it. he's right: things will never go back to normal, but he's too thick headed and in pain and reeling from the last week or two to fully grasp what is the right thing to do. he's always done the right thing, even when it was painful, except for today. he pushed away his friends, lied to his supervisors and respected leaders, did both of those things to his girlfriend who he loves more than anything, and it kills him. he's not thinking straight. and I can understand how his first reaction is to isolate himself.

interestingly, he and Lucy are in an incredibly similar place right now. they're both isolated, confused, hurt, in pain, and unsure of the future. they're facing hardship and changes in their careers, they're fighting demons from the past that have reared their ugly heads. and instead of buckling down and working through it together, Tim decided for the both of them that he needed to be alone.

is it super realistic as far as actual people's reactions go? maybe not. but is it lazy storytelling, like I've heard thrown around? no, I really don't think so. you have to remember: these are two extremely independent people who have either never had a truly deep, long lasting relationship, or been burned by the one they had. they're also both stubborn, driven, protective, and have a shining moral compass. and for better or worse, those things are going to clash sometimes. as screwed up as it is, Tim probably thinks, in the depths of his pain, that leaving is the best thing he can do for Lucy. to let her be with someone who's not going to drag her into all his mess and mistakes and be a potential danger to her career and, most importantly, her life. but he's not in the headspace to realize that she doesn't care how hard it is-- she loves him, and only him, even with all his baggage.

he didn't break up with her because they argued or because he's annoyed with her or anything else. he did it because he's trying to protect her from himself, something she doesn't need. and he just needs time to heal and realize that they need to fight for each other, not against each other.

[raayllum]

Do you truly believe that Callum is the only best thing that's happened to Rayla?

I don't think Callum is the only good thing in Rayla's life, but I do absolutely agree with her sentiment that he's the best thing she's ever had / that's ever happened to her. This is for a few reasons (mostly only talking about arc 1 as that's the time she's referring to, but I'm also gonna be touching on S4/S5):

In Bloodmoon Huntress, the long time headcanon of post-s1-s3 fans that Rayla was a relatively friendless / lonely child was confirmed. This makes Callum and Ezran her first real friends, and while she's more likely to lean on Ezran for support (in arc 1 at least) initially than Callum is, Callum is still more so her peer (due to being similar ages) and is her first and main Best Friend. For that alone, I'd buy her statement.

Then there's the other ways Callum has changed her life. He is:

The person who inspired her to actively work towards breaking the cycle past the point of 1) believing it was right for Zym to return home and 2) to make up for her parents' perceived/failures mistakes, as seen most prominently in 2x07. This is something she is willing to die for, and while Rayla is (unfortunately) willing to die for many things, this is the cause she believes in and feels centred in: "Every fibre in my body is telling me that [leaving her] is wrong [...] It doesn't just feel like the right thing to do, it feels like the right thing for me to do. It's where I'm meant to be." ("Look at yourself, Rayla. Who are you? What do you stand for? Once you know that, you'll end up where you were always meant to be.") Someone giving you a much more positive worldview that aligns with your values and sense of rightness is certainly a big deal (and a positive one, particularly for someone who's struggled with hesitating over what feels right for so much of her life.

Callum is the first person in Rayla's life to love her wholly unconditionally. While Rayla is deeply loved by all four of her parents, and I've gone on record saying that Tiadrin and Lain didn't do anything wrong, arc 1 sees Rayla brush up against the lingering cultural hangups and choices that make her family's love for her feel if not outright be somewhat conditional. She is shunned by her village (condition 1), while Ethari says goodbye to her and embraces her he still turned his back on her (condition 2), Runaan was heavily disappointed in her betrayal of him/the mission and left her (condition 3), and her parents put their duty over her / being her parents (condition 4). Callum says fuck all that shit. He refuses to leave even when she's pushing him away. He loves and admires her for the exact things she's been punished or shamed for ("You have true courage and a big heart" -> "Even when her own people might misunderstand and turn against her"). He says she doesn't deserve to be Ghosted, she doesn't deserve to be unjustly turned away for a mistake she didn't even make, he says and shows that it's okay for her to be scared and that she can (and should) rely on him.

This is even more intrinsically tethered given Chasing Shadows and the canon fact that Callum and his love for her 1) kept her from throwing what little remained of her life away entirely and 2) literally kept her from forsaking her name/identity/everything else that makes her Rayla and 3) gave her the courage to try and come home to somewhere she'd be safe and loved, even if she knew/felt she didn't deserve to. There's an underlying belief in Chasing Shadows we see carry through into S4 where Rayla truly believes Callum can do and overcome just about anything, and if he can do the impossible, then maybe so can she:

She backed away, close to the pit’s edge. The crowd shouted and screamed at her ears, their spittle landing on her neck. It rattled her. The human kicked dirt at her, and Rayla scraped at her eyes, angry—infuriated, even. Humans were frustrating. Humans were clever. Humans could do anything, they could be anything, they could take their own fates and change them—

It is for all these reasons that Rayla clearly considers him to be her family and the love of her life. She gives him the pendant (from Ethari to Runaan, then Ethari to her, and then her to Callum) as a symbol of both familial and romantic love. He seems to be the first person she's had serious feelings for and certainly the first person she's fallen in love with.

She was originally going to confess first (2x09) back when she clearly didn't have any thought or inclination he'd ever love her back, either. Then he did, and it elevated an already very steady and safe relationship to one that was good natured, even more incredibly supportive, and wholly unconditional.

And given how he supports and loves her in S4 and S5, I am even more inclined to think she's Right <3

[elysiaishere]

Genshin Thoughts/Theories No One Asked For, (Spoilers) —Relationship Edition Part 1

At this point, this should be a series because I'm lost in the Genshin sauce, and it doesn't seem like I'm coming out of it anytime soon.

So, here are some mostly inane thoughts I've had about various relationships in the canon:

1. Nahida and Wanderer

Nahida and Wanderer have a beautiful friendship.

On the surface, a friendship between them seems unlikely. He's arrogant, rude and at times, downright cruel. Nahida, on the other hand, is a warm and forgiving spirit. But, if we consider their past experiences, we are able to build a clearer picture of how Nahida and Wanderer are able to not only get along but complement each other as well. Both endured long periods of isolation and loneliness, and from what the canon has shown us, these periods have largely shaped who they are today.

For all that she's the God of Wisdom, Nahida is young and inexperienced. Her imprisonment prevented her from forming authentic, meaningful bonds with her people, and, as such, it suffocated her own self-confidence and ability to connect with others. Even now, she doubts herself.

In contrast, Wanderer is an experienced combatant and seasoned leader. His time as a Fatui Harbinger, no doubt, taught him how to coordinate people and communicate his expectations—even if his expectations were otherwise cruel and unfair.

These differences, however, are key to why their dynamic works so well. Nahida is able to build him a safe space to explore his own humanity without judgment. On the other hand, Wanderer is able to both protect Nahida from physical threats and model self-confidence in a way she can easily emulate.

It's unorthodox, sure, but their friendship showcases a phenomenal example of how, sometimes, we find the most fulfilling and meaningful relationships in the strangest of places. Truly, I hope to see more of them in the future. I'm always delighted by their rapport. She obviously enjoys teasing him, and despite his enormous pride, he allows it.

2. Furina and Neuvillette

In an earlier post, I briefly touched on the speculations I have about who Furina/Focalors is to Neuvillette and vice-versa. In this post, I intend to dissect what information—or lack thereof—is available to us. After all, as the Hydro Archon and Hydro Dragon, respectively, their destinies have no doubt always been intertwined.

In Neuvillette's character teaser, "Watcher in the Deep," Neuvillette admits that he longs to find the answers to the many questions he has regarding his identity. He has no leads, no starting lines, and even states: "It's as if I've forgotten something since the very beginning."

Then, some seconds later and out of frame, we hear Furina:

"So, why don't you find the answers for yourself?"

Her voice is soft, encouraging, and a stark contrast from the shrill, theatrical young woman we've come to know throughout the 4.0 and 4.1 Archon Quests. This suggests that, at one point in time, Furina and Neuvillette were once close.

In comparison, their interactions we've seen thus far are a pale shade of that. He often seems exasperated by her antics while she expects him to yield to her whims, no matter how unreasonable those whims might be.

I liken it to a relationship between a spoilt little sister and an exhausted older brother. Entertaining, fun, and downright hilarious.

Jokes aside, I don't think he's indifferent to Furina. In fact, we're shown on a handful of occasions the exact opposite. Just before the iconic Primordial Seas cutscene, he tells the Traveler he's reluctant to leave Furina alone with Arlecchino and, as such, asks the Traveler to watch over her throughout the meeting. Then, in the aftermath, while the Traveler and Neuvillette are talking outside the Opera Epiclese, the scene focuses on Neuvillette watching Furina sneak away. The Traveler is none the wiser, but based on how he tunes out Paimon and watches her leave, we can deduce that he's worried about how out of character Furina seems.

I'd also like to highlight that this is the first time we've seen Neuvillette call her simply "Furina" instead of "Lady Furina." I think this is quite indicative of a more nuanced relationship than what has been observed so far.

As for Furina, I find her to be a living, breathing dichotomy. Initially, she appears spoilt and immature. A young woman who feels insecure, so she overcompensates with glamour and entertainment. But, if we gleaned nothing else from her meeting with Arlecchino, it's clear that she does, in fact, take her status as the Hydro Archon very seriously. She cares about Fontaine and its people.

Moreover, Furina, I think, carries a lot of care for Neuvillette as well. She seems comfortable in his presence, so much so that she doesn't feel the need to perform for him. Or, at the very least, Furina doesn't feel the need to perform him much. She seems to feel much safer and settled during her initial meeting with Arlecchino than she is in the second. Implying, to some degree, that Furina trusts him to look out for her if a situation turns south.

With that said, I think something strange has occurred that's led to the formation of their current dynamic. Perhaps the "curse" Arlecchino mentioned. And whatever has occurred, curse or not, it has totally reshaped their relationship. However, I simply can't deduce what.