#I've seen a lot of coyotes

[kedreeva]

I had a long drive yesterday, but I pulled over to see what this was on the side of the road partway into a field, because it was so large I worried it was someone's dog, and I would have called a collar phone number if so. I didn't want to get out or trespass along the side of a minor highway if I didn't have to, so I took a max zoomed photo with my terrible phone camera (seriously why did Pixel cameras get WORSE in later models), to learn it's a coyote. Bad news for the coyote, good news for me not having to make a call I didn't want to make.

[blackbackedjackal]

Honestly, I was banking on coyotes staying out of the mainstream as animals that had been mostly spared the exotics craze on social media minus some small groups. Just watching what happened to wolves/wolfdogs and foxes had me so anxious for if and when it started with coyotes. Seeing Weave randomly in my recommendeds for weeks was driving me nuts, but I'm at the point where I want to talk about what all is wrong with the situation because it's really frustrating.

[alys-gay-parade]

Hey mutuals, I'm really sad for reasons specified in the tags, so if you could like. Reblog a lot of funny and cute shit that isn't cat related to lift my spirits when I get home from dinner with my dad and brother, I'd highly appreciate it.

[somerandomdudelmao]

Ok so I've seen a lot of people get really upset Abt Oscar and stuff and tbh I was like 😧 at first, but then I started thinking

There have been many comparisons of Oscar being a hunting dog, a companion to help with the slaughter of animals.

But some hunting dogs kill coyotes and wolves. They're closely related, and it'd make sense for a dog and coyote to have at least some similarities in communication, but the dog kills them anyway. Most people don't see this as a tragedy, since the dog is usually defending themselves or is helping keep livestock safe. If a hunting dog didn't kill a coyote, itd certainly would not be good for the dog. It's their job. There's even specific breeds that are made to hunt wolves and coyotes (for ex the Irish wolfhound). They do their job, despite the pleas of the wild people they do not know, so the fate of the wild does not become their own.

So yeah, Oscars a hunting dog, a hunting dog who does his job.

And his job is killing other dogs.

They do their job, despite the pleas of the wild people they do not know, so tge fate of the wild does not become their own

Oh wow.......I don't think I could have said it better.

[yuyuwritesss]

ZombieApocalypseAU!GhostxReader (I've watching TWD a bit too much)

Ghost, living alone in a deep part of the woods, has been noticing pieces of his game cut off after he strings them up to bleed. Small chunks from the thigh, bits where the legs meet the chest. The cuts are too precise, too calculated to be the work of a smaller animal, although whoever is doing this might have learned a thing or two from a fox. Curious to see who’s been shadowing him this deep into the woods, escaping his notice and stealing small morsels of his catches—barely enough to get by—he sets up a trap.

He pretends to go to sleep, zipping his tent shut, ears alert for the slightest movement outside. A small, barely audible yelp sets him in motion. He’s outside in a second, flashlight in hand, lighting up the body hanging by the ankle. You’re trying very hard to free yourself when his light blinds you. You don’t give up, but your malnourished body and weakened core can barely hold you up to cut the rope at your ankles. Ghost watches you struggle, amused that you still think you can escape. He moves closer; you swipe your knife at him, but he anticipates it and knocks it out of your hand.

You finally realize he’s caught you, and nothing can stop him from doing whatever he wants to you. He’s a big man, well-fed to sustain himself, while you’ve been stealing scraps, small enough to hope he wouldn’t notice, barely enough to keep you from fainting from hunger. From your hiding spot in the trees, you’ve seen him fight coyotes and eat them for dinner; you wouldn’t stand a chance against him now. You never did, even with your knife, but your survival instinct fed you delusions, just like when it convinced you to steal from him in the first place.

You close your eyes, expecting him to skin you like his game, and realizing there’s a lot worse he can do to you, you start hoping to plant that idea in his head to keep him from going down another road. Suddenly, you’re cut down from the rope, and you instinctively brace yourself for a fall that never comes. He holds you up by the ankle like some kind of runt, before gently setting you on the ground. You stay close to the ground, scared out of your mind but still hoping that if you stay still, it’ll soon be over and you can somehow find a way out.

He picks you up by the back of your beat-up shirt and puts you inside the tent before zipping it shut, locking you in while he stays outside. You stay still, hearing him move about, before starting to look around the tent for anything sharp enough to cut a way out on the opposite side of where he is and quietly slip out. You don’t get to put that plan into action before he reopens the tent and brings you out by the forearm without any resistance from you. The fire is lit, and there’s a huge slab of meat cooking over it. He sits you and himself down around the fire, staring at you while you stare ahead, confused and afraid of what could come.

You both sit in silence as he turns the meat over a few times before setting it in front of you. You look at it before looking him in the eye for what must be the first time ever; they’re brown, you note to yourself, and almost kind. The confusion must show on your face as he pushes the meat closer to you and says,

“It can't be enough, what you’re taking. Eat first, then we’ll talk.”

[barrenclan]

How do you decide on motifs? Like sleep being associated with death, roses being associated with death? And how did you go about assigning each motif to a character (especially more character specific ones)? Like I get that Rainhaze was seen as a coyote in omens because of his association with Ranger, but why is Nightberry associated with visions, why is Cootstorm associated with never changing, conservative ideals?

Here's a good way to think about this: PATFW is not coming out of nowhere. Seems obvious, right? But every decision made is one that I had to intentionally choose, with a goal in mind for what I wanted to do with them. So I don't have real animals, or real people - I have certain stories in mind, and the characters are tools that I use to express these ideas. Let's take two examples brought up here, and I'll show you what I mean.

Asphodelpaw's death. For this story, I wanted to have a big, climatic moment that really jerks around the story, much in the same way that Shellspring's reveal did in TDS. I know that I want Rainhaze to be an exploration of a character who starts out good and turns complicated, and that I want him to not be redeemed. Okay, so how do I make sure Rainhaze is beyond redemption? He'd have to do something really awful, like killing someone important. The rest of the Clan wouldn't be as impactful if he killed them, so it should be one of his family members, and someone we really care about. Okay, who do I want him to kill? Pinepaw is my narrator, so if I want him to keep narrating, I can't kill him. I want Slugpelt to feel the consequences of this murder Rainhaze makes, and I want her to later confront him about it, so he can't kill her. I can't quite get into why I want Daffodilpaw to live yet, because of spoilers, but I have a certain message I want to create with Daffodilpaw, and she can't die as part of it. So Asphodelpaw is the only one left. Okay, why would it be impactful for her to die? Because she just came into herself, and apologized to Pinepaw, and is on track to grow into a better person. So it's extra tragic - and extra irredeemable - of Rainhaze to kill her. There you go, that's the reasoning behind Asphodelpaw's death.

The sleep/death motif. I have suffered from personal difficulties surrounding death, specifically involved with intrusive thoughts before I go to sleep. So those two ideas are very linked in my mind, and because PATFW is a darker story, I wanted to explore it. Okay, how do I work it into the story? Rainhaze is a character who's disappeared, presumed dead, by the time the story starts. Alright, maybe I can work it in there. I used it for the first time in Issue 4, contrasting between Rainhaze and Slugpelt's views on what happens after death. Alright, so now I have a thematic parallel between their characters and their views. Okay, how does this affect the future plot? As Rainhaze gets further involved with Defiance, his views on killing change, and that strengthens this association with sleep. So later, when Slugpelt kills him, I can bring this thematic parallel back around and make it really resonate, because I've built up the connection over the whole story. There you go, that's how you create a motif.

I hope you found this interesting. Often I find that a lot of writing advice is vague and nonspecific, so I tried to make my reasoning behind these things as clear as possible. From the outside, it may seem like absolutely anything can happen in a story, but from an internal perspective there are only so many ways to get to a point I want to make, so those decisions have to lead to each other if I want to create a natural thread.

[suki-daydreams]

You're Glowing

IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED S2 THE HIDDEN INVENTORY ARC OF JUJUTSU KAISEN LEAVE RIGHT NOW !!

summary : a year after the failed mission with involving riko amanai, yu haibara died on a mission, and geto left gojo to pursue his dream of killing all non sorcerers. you along with gojo, nanami, utahime, and shoko try your best to cope with everything that's going on. gojo wants comfort, but he also wants to be alone. so, he should go be lonely with you.

tw : mentions of geto losing weight, mentions of the world 'kill', a gun is used in this

info : past arc gojo x reader, reader is a sorcerer, angst, comfort, fluff, gojo satoru x reader, teen gojo x reader, lonely gojo, reader ily, reader same age as gojo, soft gojo, cuddling, reader is also best friends with gojo, suguru, and shoko. reader is an ex assassin. angst to fluff

this is not a geto x reader! or gojo x reader x geto they are best friends - this is only a gojo x reader thank u <3

suki's notes : inspired by the song This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ ... i've been writing SO MUCH baker reader x gojo. needed to twist it up

this is really fucking loooong because of the buildup my bad y'all

enjoy ~

___

You are the only person Gojo would allow himself to become vulnerable with.

___

Nanami passed out exhausted on a hospital bed. Overwhelmed Shoko sitting on a chair. Utahime resting her head on a desk. Yaga rummaging through papers to file. And Gojo... is no where to be seen.

You are a 3rd year.

You had been trained to be an assassin since you were 6. Your whole life you had been killing people for those who are too weak or too much of a coward to do it, and you'd get paid A LOT.

But, you became a jujutsu sorcerer because you didn't want to be a murderer anymore. So, you started fresh as a first year at jujutsu high when you turned 15 to come to clean living and so you could protect non sorcerers. Hoping it would be enough for all the lives you've took.

You had thought, oh I got trained at a young age. I'm probably more experienced, I got this. Your first year went great, you made friends and many memories. Everything was going great! Until your second year and third year came around.

You were quick on your feet and silent too. There are very few people who are faster than you. You had heard of Toji, known as the sorcerer killer and many other names, he was one of the best assassins. And, he was one of the rare people who could sneak past you.

When Riko got assassinated, you were there with Geto.

Gojo told you to leave with Amanai immediately while he handled Toji. You trusted Satoru, but he was sleep deprived, exhausted from keeping his technique on for days and nights.

"He has a heavenly restriction!" You yelled to Satoru before leaving with Geto and Amanai. You escorted her until you and Geto were forbidden to walk any further. When she finally realized she wanted to live for herself. She was shot in the head. You registered what happened in less than a second.

You turned around to take action and leaped towards Toji, but he was fast. Too fast. The assassin had already come up behind you and hit you straight in the nape. Knocking you unconscious.

And when you woke up, everything was already over. You weren't quick enough. If you didn't let your guard down. Amanai would still be alive.

When Yu died, you were one of the firsts to find out- besides Shoko of course.

But, when Geto massacred the village, you were the first to find out.

It crushed you.

Because you were the first and only person Geto talked to about his change in morals.

~

"Y/n.." his voice was soft. You and him were grabbing a snack in the cafeteria after somehow managing to run into each other at the dorms past midnight.

"Yea?" You replied, grabbing a bag of chips.

"What do you think about.. non sorcerers?" He asked, you hummed.

"Well.." you said, "I don't know.. it's complicated."

"How so?"

"First of all, I don't blame them for not having cursed energy, that's just simply how you're born. It's genetics, passed down from generations. It's out of their control. But, when I was an assassin I just saw them as weak, they paid me to do the things they can't or because they're too much of a coward to do it, sounds pretty worthless- know what I mean?" you said, "but, sometimes as a sorcerer, I feel under appreciated? I don't know how to say it.."

You looked at him, "we save the world, we save non sorcerers, and they don't even know. They live everyday like usual while we place our lives on the line to defeat a curse.. to make sure a curse doesn't kill another innocent person. At least when I was an assassin, I was paid as a reward, but non sorcerers-"

"Curses comes from them." He said, you tilted your head.

"What?"

"Curses come from negative emotions, emotions from non sorcerers-"

"I would say they come from all humans, including sorcerers, not just non sorcerers, Suguru," you replied, he looked away mumbling a quiet 'whatever'. You reached up and put a hand on his shoulder making him flinch at your touch.

"Suguru, why are you asking me this?" You asked, he sighed and crouched down making you step back from his sudden change in position.

"I think.. I'm starting to hate them.. y/n," he whispered.

"What?"

"I said I think-"

"I heard you!!" You whispered yelled, "Suguru, you were the one who said that non sorcerers need protection, and we, the sorcerers, are here to protect them!"

"I know, I know..." he said, "but, that's changed."

You crouched down and looked at his features. He lost weight, he hasn't been eating, and hasn't been sleeping either. You were worried, something was bothering him. Something changed him. So, when he said that he hates non sorcerers, you knew that was the thing that was eating him up.

"After Riko's death and now Yu's... seeing how they died for non sorcerers because they're weak and can't do anything for themselves-"

"Suguru, they can't see curses, they don't have cursed energy, they can't do anything-"

"Listen to me y/n," he said putting a hand on your shoulder, "if non sorcerers didn't exist. There would be less curses."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm trying to say.." then he stopped. What he wanted to say was, "I'm trying to say that I want to kill all non sorcerers."

But he couldn't bring himself to say it, not with you.

He cleared his throat, "I'm trying to say that, I still haven't recovered from their deaths. Riko and Yu dying for non sorcerers- and they don't even know. This enrages me. They don't know the sacrifices we make just to make sure they live another day."

"Oh, Suguru.." you said and hugged him making his eye's widened at your sudden action, "I'm sorry. Losing people is hard, but it makes you stronger, it makes you more of a fighter!" You said, pulling away with a big grin.

"You never let me finish my answer, so I'll just say it right now," you said, he nodded, "though, I do feel underappreciated.. at times... What keeps me going is seeing kids smile while playing with their friends at a playground. Families gathering around dinner tables to be together. Friends laughing with each other at the mall!" You said, then your eyes softened at him.

"Seeing them happy, seeing them smile is the reward, knowing that they live another day because I have strong friends who protect them, I am there to protect them as well. And in return, I get to live to see another day with my friends. The people I cherish the most," you said.

He stayed silent, his eye's stared into yours, you saw nothing. No change in expression, no change in his eyes, no change... in his heart..

"You know, I was planning on quitting this year," you said.

"Really?" He asked, you nodded.

"I was planning on quitting being a jujutsu sorcerer. I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to go to a normal school, get a normal job, live a normal life, but Satoru killing all the curses by himself? I couldn't bring myself to leave," you said, "he would be more busy and overwhelmed."

"That's why?"

"Yes! But, I also look forward to seeing everyone again after a mission. You and Gojo, keep me going, even when you guys aren't with me... know what I mean?" You asked, he nodded. "Plus, I swore to become a sorcerer because I've taken so many lives, and I feel like protecting innocent is the only way I can make up for it. Y'know?" You asked.

"You must really like Gojo if you stayed to be a sorcerer so he didn't bear the burden by himself."

You blushed, "... not just Gojo.. You, and Nanami, and Utahime."

He chuckled, "yeah, sure." He smiled but you didn't miss how it dropped quickly.

"Are you.. okay?" You asked, he cleared his throat then stood up making you follow his movements.

"Yes, thank you.. Y/n. For keeping me company," he said, "you promise not to tell anyone what I told you?" You smiled.

"I promise! If you need to talk to anyone, I'm always here for you. I always will be," you said cheerfully. He gave you a small smile before waving goodbye. You both parted in the opposite directions to return to your room.

___

A couple days later, while you were just about to enter the gates of jujutsu high after returning from a mission, Yaga called you in an immediate hurry.

"Hello?-"

"Y/n- you need to see me as quick as possible... it's.... it's about Suguru," he said, you ran. You ran past the gates, past the forest, the hallways, to get to Yaga's office. You were scared.. did Suguru.. die? What happened? What did he do? Where is he?

You burst into his office to see Yaga pinching the bridge of his nose. He said nothing, but dropped down a file on his desk. You walked over and picked it up.

Your jaw dropped, your heart sank as tears brimmed your eyes.

"S-...Suguru.. did... this?"

"Yes."

Geto Suguru's residuals were traced all over a massacred village of 112 people. 112 people, including his parents. From this, we can conclude that Geto Suguru is the one that annihilated the village. Geto Suguru is expelled from Jujutsu High. He is to be killed on site or captured and executed at Jujutsu High.

"No, no, no, no, no," you said, your hands trembled and you dropped the file. Your hands immediately went to your hair and you yanked on the strands, "this isn't real. This.. isn't Suguru-"

"I'm afraid it is," Yaga said then sighed, "I don't know why he did this either."

Then it all hit you.

You knew.

You knew, but you were too dumb to see.

He told you.

You didn't see.

You didn't know.. at least.. then you didn't know.

"It's all my fault," you whispered. Yaga placed a hand on your shoulder.

"You-"

"Did you tell.. Satoru?" You asked cutting him off. He sighed and looked away. "Did you tell, Satoru?" You repeated firmly.

"No. Not yet. You're the first one who knows about this."

"Suguru.. why? Why?" You repeated and crouched down. The lump in your throat burned as you tried to blink your tears away.

No no no no no no no. This isn't happening. This isn't real. Wake up.

"I will tell him when he returns from his mission," Yaga said, "go get cleaned up. Go rest. Again, you're the first person I've told about this."

You didn't say anything. You just walked out.

This... is all my fault.

___

And, that's how you got here. Nanami passed out on a hospital bed in the corner of the room with a hot rag on his forehead. Shoko dozing off on a chair. Utahime sleeping at a desk. Yaga sitting at a table with stacks of papers while typing away on his laptop. You were on a sofa, staring at the ground.

Yaga informed you that he told Satoru about what Geto did. He also told you that Shoko had run into Geto in the city and she called Gojo. Gojo rushed to the city as quickly as possible to confront Geto. With that Geto bid goodbye. Gojo was supposed to kill Geto. But he couldn't.

He summoned all of you to the room you're in right now, you were just waiting for Gojo.

You couldn't bare to see Satoru. After all, you could've saved Suguru. You could've saved Satoru's best friend. You could've avoided all of this, if you never left Geto's side, to make sure he didn't feel alone, to make sure his ideals stayed the same.

You tried thinking of something else, so that your tears would just go away, but they wouldn't.

You killed the best friend of the man you loved.

The door slid opened and you stared at your feet. It was Satoru. You felt his gaze on you, but you didn't bother to look at him. You couldn't.

Yaga cleared his throat and stood up, waking Nanami, Utahime, and Shoko up from their slumber, "you all.. are aware what happened to Suguru and what he has done."

Everyone nodded.

"What do you guys think of this?" Yaga asked.

"Well, I think it was dumb how he wanted to become a cursed user," Shoko spoke up, you applauded her in your mind for being the first to talk.

"I don't know.. how I feel about this," Utahime said.

"If anyone has something bothering them talk to each other," Yaga said, your heart sank. "You only have each other, that's all you really need," he said, you tried to swallow the lump in your throat.

You hated crying in front of people. You hated being vulnerable. You were trained to bury it deep down or hide it from others.

"I don't know why Geto did this.. I don't know why he changed. But, if anyone of you have something that's bothering you, speak up right now."

"Why are you asking us this?" Nanami asked.

Yaga clenched his fist, "I don't want to lose anymore students. I don't want any of you to turn out like Suguru." He said, "so, if there's anything, tell me, or tell someone else, I don't care. Just don't.."

He sighed, slumping back in his chair.

Everyone's souls were crushed.

"I'll let you know when we have classes. Dismissed," Yaga said, everyone got up.

You pushed yourself off the couch, but your knees felt weak.

This is all my fault..

Then suddenly, all the tears you had been holding back... all the frustration you hid...

..had poured out.

You immediately fell to your knees. Everyone gasped as you collapsed. You were quick enough to catch yourself by planting your hands onto the floor.

Gojo's eyes widened.

"Y/n!!" Utahime yelled rushing over to you. You cried and wailed while clenching your fist.

"It's my fault!" You yelled.

Everyone stopped, then you sat up with tears running down your cheeks- eyes glued to the ground.

"Suguru... talked to me.. about hating non sorcerers," you whispered, as they stayed silent, "he asked me what I think of non sorcerers, I told him that sometimes I feel underappreciated, but seeing them smile with their loved one's is what keeps me going."

Utahime came to your side with a hand on your back, Shoko knelt down and pressed a hand to your forehead.

"You're burning up-"

"He then told me that... if there wasn't any non sorcerers.. there would be less curses. He told me that Riko's and Yu's death changed him," you spoke, "he said that, they died protecting the weak and it enraged him because non sorcerers don't know the sacrifices us sorcerers have to make."

"I... knew," you whispered, "he covered it up by saying that he just hasn't recovered from Amanai's and Yu's death and that's why his view on non sorcerers changed. But, I was too dumb to see that, I was so dumb and believed the lie... when he revealed his true self to me," you said, then looked up at Gojo.

"'Toru... I'm so sorry.. I could've saved your best friend, but I'm so stupid. I-" you covered your face in your hands and cried. Gojo kneeled down and pulled you into his chest.

"You are not responsible for his actions, Y/n," he whispered you sniffled into his chest.

"I could've done something. I could've changed his mind. I could've saved him, 'Toru-"

"Look at me," he said pulling away from you. He wiped your tears as you sniffled. "You couldn't have changed him, you couldn't have done anything, he chose how to live his life- people like that, you cannot change." He said then leaned forward.

"Why.. didn't you tell me?" He asked.

You wiped your nose, "he promised me not to tell anyone.."

Gojo smiled, it was a sad smile, but he tried to make it look as happy as possible, "you always keep your promises, come here," he said then embraced you once again.

Your phone began to vibrate making you pull away, you slipped it out of your pocket and your eye's widened, "it's... Geto.."

Everyone gasped and you answered it, "Suguru?"

"Hey Y/n," he said in a cheery voice, "I wanted to say goodbye to you before leaving, wanna meet up?"

You looked over at Yaga and he nodded, "uh- sure.."

"Great! I'll text you the details," he said, then he hung up. Your phone chimed with a message from Geto, he had sent you the location and time.

"What does it say?" Utahime said

"It's a park," you said, the held your phone up for everyone to see.

Bestie Suguru Blue Rose Park. At the bench by the lake at 4 pm. Don't be late

Yaga summoned you after you had gotten ready. You decided not to wear your jujutsu uniform but some oversized sweatpants and one of Satoru's hoodies with sneakers.

"Y/n, we are going with you," he said, you blinked at Gojo standing behind him.

"Uh-"

"We won't intervene, I'm just going to record your conversation. This machine only works within a certain radius. I'll just put a mic on you, it's strong enough to pick up Geto's voice, try not to talk too loud," he said, you relaxed.

"Stay hidden then," you said, he nodded.

"And... Y/n.." he said, you tilted your head, "you... are going to have to kill him," he said.

Your eyes widened as you stepped back.

Gojo jumped, "whoa, whoa, whoa," Gojo said standing in front of you, shielding you from Yaga's view. Yaga pinched the bridge of his nose again.

"Unfortunately, I have to report everything involving Geto to the higher ups, they demanded that Y/n kills him." Yaga said then sighed and held out a gun. You stared at it. "Y/n is the most capable of killing him."

"I..."

"Just take it, for protection.."

"You think he's gonna hurt me?" You asked, Yaga sighed.

"You never know."

You took it from his grasp and tucked it into your waistband making Gojo look at you.

When you were an assassin- you were one of the best at handling a gun. You had shot many people. In their heads, their hands, arms, legs, shoulder, torso, you name it. But shooting your best friend? Are you capable of doing that?

You tucked the mini microphone on your shirt underneath your Gojo's hoodie. Both you and Gojo sat in the backseat of Yaga's car as he drove you to a building by the park.

"Gojo and I are going to be in this building on the 4th floor near the window, but you won't be able to see us. If anything happens, we will run out," Yaga said, you nodded.

Yaga gave you a gun, Yaga came with you by the higher ups command. But, also because he didn't want to lose another student as he said. He hid his feelings in his actions.

You fiddled with you fingers and Gojo rested a hand on your head, "you sure you're going to be okay?" He asked, you nodded. And, he pulled you into his chest once more before letting you go.

You gazed around the park and finally saw Suguru sitting on a bench. He didn't bother to turn around and greet you, you joined his side and sighed.

"So.. cursed user now?"

"Yep... I found how I wanted to live my life, that's all," he said.

"You killed... a lot of people.. Suguru."

"They were holding these two little girls captive. I had to do something, Y/n," he said, "wouldn't you have done the same thing?"

"I would've freed the two little girls without killing the whole village," you simply stated. He laughed.

"You wouldn't kill the whole village? I find it hard to believe that."

"How so?" You asked.

You knew why. Assassins don't wait, they take. Even if it means killing people who you weren't even assigned to kill. You had become a sorcerer but you haven't abandoned some of your assassin ways. You choose to act first with violence because that's simply how you were trained.

Shoot first, ask questions later. But, some people won't be able to answer because they'd be dead.

Geto did nothing but smile.

"I take it you brought guests with you?"

You gave him a small smile, "yes, but they won't intervene unless you try to hurt me or something."

"I would never."

"You also never said I couldn't bring anyone, so that's your fault," you said sticking out your tongue, you found it strange how you were able to joke with a murderer who was once your best friend right now.

He laughed, then you both stared at the lake.

It was glimmering in the suns golden light as kids by the park near you and him laughed while chasing each other around.

"I know you probably think you could've changed me or saved me, Y/n," he said, "but trust me, the Geto you knew died when Riko did."

You looked at him then looked back at the water, "it's weird.."

"What is?"

"I've known you for years, you're my best friend. Your presence feels so familiar to me, yet I feel like I don't know you at all," you said then looked up at him.

"I'm your best friend, huh?" He smiled, "I thought that would've changed already."

"It hasn't."

He sighed, "you know when you told me you were planning on quitting being a jujutsu sorcerer?" Your eye's widened.

oh no.. gojo is listening to this...

You cleared your throat, "yeah.. what about it?" You asked.

"Do you still feel that way?"

You laughed, "no, idiot! Who's going to protect all the non sorcerers when you try to kill them!"

"Well... Satoru.. duh," he said, you smiled.

"No.. I won't leave Satoru," you said then cleared your throat, "I don't want him to bear the burden of being the strongest all by himself," you whispered looking up at Suguru, "I'm not the strongest, but I just don't want Satoru to feel alone.." you said, Geto squinted his eyes at you.

"I mean your technique is pretty powerful and you're trained assassin, so you could come 2nd to him."

"No, then I'd take your spot," you said shoving him lightly, he chuckled.

"I'm not in this anymore, so go ahead," he said, then let out a deep breath, "he- Satoru told me that my dream is impossible. But I told him that- if I was him, my dream would be possible," he said, you stared at him, "if I had his power, my dream of eliminating all non sorcerers would become possible, isn't that right?" He asked

You sighed and leaned your head back, "I guess.."

"What?" He asked gazing at your bothered face.

"I really shouldn't be... saying this. But.. you're strong, Suguru. Your dream is possible with you being you, don't question your strength," you said, his eyes widened. "You and him were supposed to be the strongest... you think he left you behind, don't you?" You asked.

He sighed, "it's not what I think. It's what he did."

"Do you think he wanted to leave you behind?" You said, "he didn't intend to. But, when he was here with us we had so much fun and everything was normal."

"It's not that Y/n. He became the strongest and I grew to have a different ideals from him and decided to take action, that's all," he said, you sighed.

"You love Satoru, don't you?" He asked, you jumped with your eyes wide.

"Uh-"

"You're always covering for him even in our conversation just now. You stayed as a sorcerer so that you could help him, even if you exorcise just one or a few curses- you do it so Satoru doesn't get the mission and become more busy. You blamed yourself for not helping me when you had the chance because if you saved me- Satoru wouldn't have lost his best friend. Is that right?" He said looking you straight in the eye. Your hand twitched.

"Uh-"

"You don't need to admit it. I'm sure you've questioned your feelings for him a couple times- I'm sure you're questioning your feelings for him more right now, but everyone saw it, even Shoko," he said.

"Can we talk about something else?" You mumbled.

He let out a small laugh, "sure, anyways. I've pretty much said everything I wanted to say, is there anything you want to talk about?"

Then it hit you.

I have to kill him...

"Uh.. why did you want me to not tell anyone about the conversation we had that night?" You asked putting your hands in your pocket, you felt the handle of the gun and wrapped your hand around it.

Kill him.

"Because it would worry everyone. And, I knew you would keep the secret," he said. "You're the one I trust most."

Your heart sank.

Shoot him. You've done this so many times.

"It still doesn't make sense why you didn't tell anyone up until now. Why did you only tell me?" You asked.

Kill him, Y/n

He raised a brow, "are you stalling?"

Just kill him, Y/n.

"Damn..." you said leaning your head back, he raised a brow.

It began to rain with sunlight peaking through the clouds. Golden rain. The smell was nostalgic and this scenery is something you'll never forget. With the lake sparkling, rain hitting every surface in view, the golden light shining down on everything.

I can't do it..

"I'm supposed to kill you," you said, "I'm the one who's most capable of doing it." You took the gun out of your waist band and held it in your lap. He stared at the weapon then back at you. "An assassin like me would surely be capable of killing someone with no remorse or feelings."

"Or.. at least they thought I was the most capable..." you mumbled, then looked up at him, "unfortunately.. I can't kill my best friend," tossing the gun into the lake. No one was around anymore, they all left because of the sudden rain.

"I'm sorry, Suguru, I can't help but think that if I talked to you a little more and spent a little more time with you- you wouldn't have turned out like this," you said standing up, he followed your movements.

"I told you Y/n. I started realizing all of this when Riko died, you're a little too late now," he said, you gave him a sad smile.

"I guess we're enemies now."

"I guess so too," he said then held out his hand for you to shake. You smiled and engulfed him into a hug.

"Goodbye, Suguru... thank you for the best 3 years of my youth," you said, he wrapped his arms around you. You stayed like that for a while. Enjoying his presence because this would be the last time you would ever be in his arms again. Then you finally had the courage to let go.

"Thank you for saying goodbye to me and not leaving with nothing said," you giggled and gave him a sad smile.

"See you, Y/n."

"Goodbye, Suguru.."

With that. You both parted ways going in the opposite direction.

___

You walked back to Yaga and Gojo in the rain, but then you saw Shoko and Utahime standing behind them outside the building, they must've joined while you were talking with Suguru.

"Are you.. okay?" Utahime asked, you gave her a small smile while handing Yaga the mic that was once attached to your shirt.

"I don't know.. I want to go home."

The car ride back was silent almost deafening. But, it was a comfortable silence. Everyone was grieving, but you had each other. You hoped Nanami was doing well, he was the only one who wasn't there, yet you didn't have the energy to see him when you arrived at Jujutsu High.

Approaching Gojo on the stairs, you sat next to him and smiled, "how are you doing?" You asked, he shrugged.

"Fine, I guess.."

"You don't have to lie 'Toru," you said brushing his hair back. He looked at you making your heart skip a beat.

"Thank you.. for checking up on me," he said, but then looked back at the ground, "but, I kind of want to be alone right now."

You immediately pulled away from him, ignoring the ache in your heart, "of course, 'Toru," you said standing up.

"If you want to be lonely, you can always come be lonely with me," you said, "just come to my room if you want. You don't need to knock or anything." You said with a smile, he gave you a weak smile back. You turned on your heels and your grin that you had put on for Gojo dropped instantly.

The journey to your room felt like forever. You walked those hallways so many times with your friends, but by yourself- you never realized how long the hallways were. How many turns you had to take to get to the dorms.

~

Gojo was still sitting at the stairs leading to Jujutsu High, he didn't know long he was sitting there exactly, but it must've been a while. His legs were spread while he rested his cheek in the palm of his hand "how are you holding up?" Yaga asked, he scoffed and kicked a rock.

"Well, I'm here."

Yaga sighed, "do you want to quit being a sorcerer?"

Gojo sat up right, "no, surprisingly. I found how I want to live."

"And, how is that?" Yaga asked.

With a deep breath Gojo sighed, "I want to become a teacher at jujutsu high to make sure the next generation become strong intelligent sorcerers who reset the Jujutsu world. Instead of hiding like the higher ups."

"It's possible," Yaga said, Gojo threw his head back.

"I know it is. How long have I been sitting here?" Satoru asked, the sun had already set and when he sat on the stairs the sun was bright in the sky.

"More than two hours."

They stayed silent for a while until Yaga spoke up.

"... have you.. checked on Y/n?" He asked, Gojo's eyes widened.

~

And that's how Satoru found himself sprinting through the gates, the hallways of jujutsu high to your room. He totally forgot, he was so overwhelmed with everything else, he forgot about you.

He cursed at himself for pushing you away.

He stopped at his room to change into a fresh pair of pajamas then resumed running back to you. Once he made it in front of your door he let out a deep breath.

"Just come to my room if you want. You don't need to knock or anything."

He placed his hand on the knob and twisted it open. Your room was clean, neatly organized. He remember the time you told him that if your room was messy- you'd go insane. He shut the door quietly behind him.

There was moonlight peeking through your window and rested ontop of your body, bed, and parts of your room.

You were on your bed, curled in the fetal position with your head buried in the pillows. As he made his way over to your figure- he didn't miss how your jujutsu uniform was thrown in the trash. Your skirt sunk deep in the bag with your sweater barely hanging on the rim of the trashcan. You had thrown it away making him nervous.

Were you going to quit being a jujutsu sorcerer for real? He remembered Geto mentioning it in your conversation with him today.

He cleared his throat and diverted his attention back to you, "hey Y/n-"

"Ah!" you said sitting up at his voice. You wiped your tears away and flipped your tear-stained pillow to the dry side, "Toru! Hi! Sorry, I didn't hear you," you smiled, "is there something wrong?"

"Yeah," he said.

"Oh.. what is it?"

He pointed at square at your chest, "you trying to hide the fact that you were crying."

You shrugged, "I mean you scared me."

"So?" He said, then sighed wiping your wet cheeks, "just be yourself."

"I'm just not used to people seeing me cry," you smiled as he took off his sunglasses and placed them on your nightstand.

"You can cry around me, Y/n," he said, staring straight at you with those gorgeous blue irises. "Can I.. be lonely with you?" He asked, you gave him a small smile.

"Of course-"

He tackled you onto the bed, burying his face into your neck.

"Why didn't you give up being a sorcerer and live a normal life?" He asked, you leaned your head back and stared at the ceiling.

"I.. swore to myself that I would become a sorcerer to make up for all the lives I took," you said, "I also didn't want you to become more busy than you are now."

"Thanks for not leaving me," he said, you smiled slightly.

"How are you doing? Do you want to talk about anything?" You asked, he sighed.

"I think if I say anything, I'll just cry."

"Let it all out, 'Toru, it's just me and you anyways. There is no one else."

He looked up at you because of your words. The things he'd do for you. He'd give heaven to you, he'd move mountains for you, he'd do it all. Yet, he couldn't save you from the pain. If he just saved Geto, he could've saved you from the pain you're experiencing now.

He buried his face in your neck.

"I'm sorry, Y/n."

You buried your fingers in his white strands of hair, "for what, Toru?"

"I'm so sorry. I blame myself.. for not being there for Geto, if I didn't go on so many missions maybe he wouldn't have changed, maybe he wouldn't have-"

You didnt expect it.

HE didn't expect it but he choked on his own words and began to sob into your neck. Holding you so tight you could barely breathe.

"I'm so sorry."

You wrapped your arms around him, "Toru.. enough with these 'if I did this', 'if I did that'," you said, kissing his head. "I know it hurts, but you can't save everyone including the people closest to you. You heard what he said, he changed when Amanai died. You and I were both there, we couldn't do anything. So, it's not just your fault, it's mine too. Or maybe, it's none of our faults. Just don't take the blame by yourself, okay?"

You didn't care if you were letting yourself go and showering him with kisses. This is what he needed, this is what you needed. You let him cry into your neck a little more as tears rolled down your cheeks.

"This is out of our control. It was bound to happen. There's nothing we can do."

He pulled away suddenly and turned his face away from you to wipe his tears, you grabbed his wrists to stop his movements, "you can cry around me, Toru," you smiled, mocking him a bit. He laughed as you grinned.

For some reason everything felt alright with him by your side. Your room wasn't so cold anymore, there wasn't silence that slowly killed you, crying seemed better when he was there. You didn't feel so lonely anymore.

"Are you.. going to quit being a sorcerer?" He asked, joining your side in bed. You sighed.

"No.. I don't know yet. Why?"

"I have a dream, that I want you to be apart of," he said, you rolled onto your side and stared into blue eyes.

"I want to become a teacher at jujutsu high," he said.

You blinked, "why?"

"I want to raise the next generations to become strong intelligent sorcerers who fix the Jujutsu world. Instead of hiding like higher-up cowards," he said and looked you straight in the eye, "and I want you to do it with me."

Gojo grabbed your hand and began to intertwine your fingers together.

"You see.. Suguru's 'awakening' really showed me all the flaws in the structure of the jujutsu world as well as the higher ups leaving you to the task of killing Suguru proved my point, they're cowards. I don't want the next sorcerers to become like Suguru or those old geezers," he said then cupped your cheek, "I want the kids to turn out like you."

"I... love you, Y/n.." he said, your eyes widened, "I always have, since our first year."

"You're strong, capable, caring, reliable, sweet, smart, fierce, and selfless," he said then smiled, "kids like that don't sound so bad, huh?"

You couldn't help but bury yourself into his chest and cry a little more, "do you mean that?" You mumbled, he smiled and wrapped his arms around you as you looked up at him.

"I mean every word with my whole being," he said.

"I'll do it, Toru. I'll do it all with you, you're the only dream I seek," you said, then kissed his jaw, "I love you- mph!!"

He slammed his lips into yours and pushed you onto your back, pressing himself more and more into you while his hand cupped your cheek. Gojo pulled away to gasp for air and leaned his forehead against yours, "thank you for not leaving me. Thank you for making sure I don't bear the burden of being the strongest by myself. Thank you for tackling this dream with me," he said, "thank you, y/n. Thank you. There's so much happening right now."

Gojo pulled away to look you in the eye, "when I'm with you. I'm not so lonely anymore." He said, kissing your nose as the moonlight peeking from your window brushed against your facial features.

His stare made you squirm a bit, "stop staring. I probably look disgusting right now." Messy hair, tear stained cheeks, drool around your mouth, swollen puffy eyes.

But, even in your worst time, he always saw the best in you. He paid no attention to your messy hair, tear stained cheeks, drool, and swollen eyes.

He gazed at the moonlight lighting up your skin, your hair, your beautiful eyes, and glossy lips.

You sniffled as he cupped your cheek slowly and pressed a soft kiss to your lips before pulling away.

"Darling, you're glowing."

~ end

___

Gege was asked, “since Gojo is aware of his good looks doesn’t he want a lover?” and Gege responded with, “I don’t see gojo being sincere to a particular woman” it was translated as, “I don’t see Gojo settling down with a particular women.” what he actually meant by that is- he doesn’t see Gojo letting himself become vulnerable with a women. but, I also 100% think Gojo would be a whore too yknow so this is all about you- being the only person in the world who Satoru would let himself become vulnerable with.

suki's notes :

I want this to have a part 2 of you and Gojo meeting Megumi and Tsumiki with headcanons of moments you and Gojo had gone through while raising Megumi and starting your journey as a teacher at jujutsu high

Sounds cute, right? (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

anyways sorry this was long as hell. i hope this did NOT disappoint. I will be sad I worked on this all day T~T

but u CANNOT tell me this last part w/ u and gojo did not represent This Side of Paradise. read the lyrics ;3

hope y'all enjoyed it ! have a great night/day <3

EDIT :

SO MANY PEOPLE LOVED THIS- I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA FLOP

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT I WORKED RLLY HARD ON THIS

THANK YOU

THERE WILL BE A PART 2 - you and gojo raising and meeting megumi and starting your journey as teachers :3

I DO NOT KNOW WHEN PART 2 IS COMING OUT - WORKING ON IT RN

[topherwrites]

FIC RECS: TOP GUN: MAVERICK - 2!

Okay, so there was shit I forgot in my year in review rec list. I posted it and a minimum of about 10 other fics immediately came to mind. so, part 2! I also didn't put many WIPs on the first one, but I think currently in progress fics should get some love too. I'll be marking them with an asterisk.

If I made a little comment about every single fic or series here, it would be inhumanely long, so I've refrained from doing so and have just put the summaries for each.

I hope that anyone who reads this list finds something that they love on it just as much as I do! Happy reading!

P.S. If I missed anyone, I'm sorry, there was a lot to sort through!

(P.S.S. reblog the fics you like, it makes writers happy.)

part 1, if you missed it.

SOME OF THESE ARE 18+, PLEASE HEED THE INDIVIDUAL WARNINGS!

JAKE SERESIN

Parking Lots and Matcha Lattes by @withahappyrefrain

In an attempt to get coffee, you meet a grade A asshole whose head you want to rip off. Meanwhile, Jake Seresin is pretty certain he just met his future wife in the parking lot of a coffee shop. AKA Jake Seresin likes mean women, pass it on.

The Hangman Special by @hangmanssunnies

On a night out with your friends at a fancy cocktail bar, you are just trying to keep your head down and ignore the girl that your ex cheated on you with. The night only seems like it's going to get worse when you are dared to kiss a stranger at the bar. However, it seems like the odds might finally be in your favor when you notice a familiar set of broad shoulders. If you can be convincing, you think you might just be able to get your brother's friend Jake "Hangman" Seresin to help you out with your little problem.

*she is both hellfire and holy water by @chemistryread

you should take it as a compliment, that I'm talking to everyone here but you.

Birds Away by @wombtotombx

You’d known Jake since you were kids, bonding over the shared experience of being military brats overseas. You were the perfect pair - he was reckless, you followed the rules; he didn’t care what others thought, you were a people-pleaser. You both became the best of the best in your field - he through sheer talent and skill, you from demonstrated grit and determination. For over two decades, everyone around you - parents, friends, even teachers - had assumed you’d both end up together, despite the fact that somehow, you never did. The Navy always had its way of keeping you two apart. Whatever possibilities there might have been, it was just never in the cards. Until you got to Fallon.

*The Backup by @ereardon

No strings attached sex never works, right? You and Jake Seresin have fallen into a bad pattern of seeking each other out for sex after dates go awry, but a year of being friends with benefits with Jake hasn’t been good for your dating life. Especially when the two of you are hiding your antics from your lifelong best friend Coyote and the rest of your tightly knit friend group. But what happens when you decide to take a step back and end the cycle with Jake to focus on your dating life? And why is it that all of the sudden Jake looks more irresistible than ever when you know he’s off limits? 

Take Care of Business by @honkytonk-hangman

The last time you met Lieutenant Jake Seresin, the war was still ongoing and you’d been in a floundering engagement. Back then you’d seen the possibility for more in his eyes, and now? Well, now you could explore it.

When Jake Met Polly by @/honkytonk-hangman

Jake likes to flirt with his Air Traffic Controller or Jake Seresin has never seen When Harry Met Sally.

How It's Done (Oneshot Version) by @/honkytonk-hangman

“Like me? I didn’t even think you wanted me as a squadmate, let alone–” you stop speaking, but only because Hangman cuts his eyes sharply away from you to glare out at the ocean. “Well, I do.” He says kind of indignantly, all things considered, and eyes you almost sourly. “You can just say no if you don’t–” “–No, I do!” you quickly cut him off, because at the end of it all, you’re a little too much of a hopeless romantic to let this moment pass you by.

Twenty-Five Going on Forty-Seven by @sehnsuchts-trunken

Flirting with the guy who fixed your car turns out to lead to much, much more when you find out he’s actually not just some random guy, but your new neighbour and father’s new best friend, Jake Seresin.

BRADLEY BRADSHAW

*fever pitch by @greenorangevioletgrass

Arsenal and USMNT captain Bradley Bradshaw attends the mononymous music sensation Y/N's concert with a friendship bracelet and a dream. Little did he know that they soon embark on an epic love story fit for pop royalty...

This Love Came Back to Me by @beyondthesefourwalls

You and Bradley hadn’t ended on bad terms; really, you stopped before the two of you could even truly begin. Still, in the last seven months, you had never completely left his mind. So when you suddenly appeared in front of him at the bar, asking for a favor and pulling him into a kiss, he thought maybe it was the perfect opportunity to see if this time, things could be different. But what neither of you realized was that there’s more going on than just rekindling a lost romance, and it might not be as easy as simply just wanting it.

I Like Your Cinema by @sometimesanalice

Bradley wasn’t sure why you wanted to see the movie again, especially when neither one of you had particularly liked it the first time you’d seen it together. But when you’re tugging down his zipper, things start to make a lot more sense.

‘cause no one breaks my heart like you by @heartsofminds

“Last times always make him uneasy. He thinks that he should be used to it by now from his track record of being abandoned (willfully or “out of their control” situations alike). None of this should hurt him as deeply anymore.” or Bradley Bradshaw is terrified of commitment and he decides to stop being selfish (even though it’s hard to see).

the periphery by @youvebeenlivingfictional

You’d met Bradley a few times before the happy couple had announced their nuptials, and you’d always gotten a pretty good vibe from him. He was sweet, he was easy to talk to—and it helped that he was easy on the eyes. In fact, as soon as you’d been told that Bradley Bradshaw was going to be the Best Man, you were well on your way to having a crush on the guy.

*Hotter Than Texas by @tongue-like-a-razor

Bradley Bradshaw is tasked with transporting a not-so-delicate package in the form of Jake Seresin’s baby sister, who turns out to be Bradley’s dream girl worst nightmare.

*flight risk by @ofstoriesandstardust

In which you and Rooster got married while at UVA for the military benefits. What started out as a mutually beneficial deal between friends years ago turns into a point of interest for Maverick, causing Rooster to have to haul you out to Fightertown to get him to shut up. While Maverick’s fussing over a marriage he didn’t know existed, Rooster’s focused on getting the ball rolling on divorce papers because really, the Navy does not need to be calling some poor girl from his college that he’s died in a horrendous accident. It’s proving to be more difficult than he expected, especially when Hangman and Phoenix take it upon themselves to encourage a friendship to become more. 

How You Play the Game by @roosterforme

Bradley always loved October because of the World Series. He never expected a mix-up with the ticket he won to bring something as spectacular as you into his life. But time is fleeting, and now baseball is the last thing on his mind.

*The Intern by @/roosterforme

You barely have a minute to yourself after graduating at the top of your Ivy League class before your father insists you find an internship. Your days of lounging by the pool and partying are numbered as he has an endless parade of his colleagues visiting the house. But one of them is familiar to you in a way that warms your skin just like the San Diego sun. And it turns out, Bradley Bradshaw may just have the answers to all your problems. And those answers might be waiting for you on a yacht in the Mediterranean Sea.

there was something 'bout you by @bussyslayer333

bradley bradshaw didn’t fall in love, especially not with uptight girls in his english lit class and especially not the ones being forced into tutoring him.

*Ultraviolence by @babyonboard

You and Bradley loved each other, and Jake was just your old friend from high school who you tried to pay no mind to. At least that's how it used to be.

All Too Well by @bradleyfuckingbradshaw

You’re at dinner with your boyfriend and some of his colleagues at a restaurant he chose when you look over the menu and realize there’s no vegetarian option, but he’s too busy with his friends to realize that. Bradley isn’t.

October 3rd Promptober by @familyvideostevie

you go to a tailgate with your friend bradley.

If You Met Me First by @tip-top-cloud-surfer

Rooster confessed to Echo that he was in love with her before the mission. One minor problem: she has a boyfriend.

Home for the Holidays by @mothdruid

Bradley might have lied about having a girlfriend. His best friend, you, decide to help him out and go home for the holidays with him. As the trip unfolds, so does your and Bradley’s feelings for one another.

BOB FLOYD

*I bet this would look beautiful on film by @coridotmp3

Honey desperately needs a photographer, and Bob desperately needs a break.

Robert from Next Door by @attapullman

You've lucked out with the perfect neighbor, a kind and overly helpful WSO. He puts up Christmas lights, lends his lawn mower, and grabs your morning paper. But what happens when he's out of peppermint tea one night?

If Only the Neighbors Knew by @/attapullman

A month of stolen kisses culminates in Robert hosting the HOA meeting and getting you on his couch. The ladies of the neighborhood may make him blush, but only you can make your sweet neighbor weak in the knees.

*Golden Hour by @/ereardon

Willow, Georgia. Barely even a town, just a speck on a map that you tried to wipe off, mistaking it for a crumb. You’re the outsider: a fancy New York doctor, fresh out of a failed engagement, with zero primary care experience. You’re also the new town doctor, taking over for a recent retiree who was beloved. His son, Bob Floyd, is the other physician at the practice, and takes an immediate dislike to you. But you were looking for a fresh start, and Willow doesn’t seem all that bad if you can get past the fact that there's only one restaurant in town. It helps that you've caught the eye of Bradley Bradshaw, the town attorney, despite the fact that you vowed to take a break from dating. How long until you start to make friends in a town where social circles have been set in stone since elementary school? And what will it take to make Bob Floyd see you’re not as bad as he wants to believe you are?

Ruin the Friendship by @withahappyrefrain

The night before Bob leaves for Boot Camp, he’s learned no one has gone down on his best friend. He’s determined to fix that.

International Bob Floyd Fucks Month Masterlist

a january writing event hosted by @/attapullman

Bob from Stats by @/attapullman

College is a wild time, but absolutely nothing could prepare you for the quiet guy from Stats riding around campus as a cowboy. Or what a good kisser he is.

[fallinglikemagic]

Okay, now that everybody's had some time to process and gotten some of the doomposting out, here's my thoughts on the whole situation.

First of all, I'm not really worried about whether or not RWBY will continue in some capacity. It's uncertain, sure, but no more than it was already. In February we got the update that they were talking to potential partners about getting volume 10 made, so clearly they weren't just relying on Rooster Teeth and Warner Brothers for it - maybe one of those companies will pick it up, maybe a different company will, either way I'm sure it *will* be picked up by somebody and unless they get real unlucky, the show won't be much worse off than it was before - if anything it might be better off, considering that WB have been shitty about animation for quite a while now (if you're not already familiar and you're up for some extra research, I recommend looking into the Coyote vs ACME situation that's been going on recently for a great example of WB's bullshit). And while it's unclear exactly how much involvement the original crew will have in the show's future, I'm pretty optimistic about it. I doubt the writers are going to let go of creative control without a fight, if for nothing else then for Monty - I don't like focusing too much on the whole Monty's Legacy stuff in general, but I do think that the crew are going to want to keep their friend's work alive and authentic and as accurate to what he wanted it to be as possible. None of this is a certainty of course, but I think RWBY is gonna be fine, things will just be kinda rocky for a bit.

With all that being said, while this may end up ultimately being a blessing in disguise for RWBY as a franchise, it sure ain't one for everybody who worked at Rooster Teeth. This entire situation is still horrible - so many people being fired on the spot, effective immediately, with no warning and with several of them only finding out by seeing articles about it being posted on Twitter, it's fucked. I know Rooster Teeth wasn't exactly lacking in controversy and problematic behaviour, to put it lightly, but there were still plenty of amazing people there who are now in a really shitty situation. On top of that, while again this isn't exactly anything new, especially for WB, it is the latest instance of a huge problem in the animation and entertainment industries. So no matter how things pan out for RWBY, we should still be really fucking mad about this.

And we definitely shouldn't be celebrating. I've seen some posts saying "good riddance" and celebrating RT's downfall, not just from people who hate RWBY (I mean don't get me wrong I'm sure the hatedom is out in full force but that's not the kind of thing I'm referring to right now), but people who like/used to like the show and just hated the company. And don't get me wrong, I didn't like a lot of things about the company either, I've actually been wanting RWBY to separate itself from RT for a pretty long time (be careful what you wish for I guess 💀), but there's a time and a place and this certainly ain't it. Plenty of people who have worked there have said that they loved their jobs, plenty of others said it was horrible and toxic and nightmarish, but either way a job is a job and in this industry work isn't always easy to find, especially in recent years. Celebrate in private if you want, but now is not the damn time to be bringing out the cake and confetti.

TLDR; I'm cautiously optimistic about RWBY's future, I'm pretty sure it'll be fine and they'll be able to keep the core crew to at least some extent, but this is still a really bad situation for everybody who just lost their jobs, don't be a dick.

[markrosewater]

I'd like to voice my dislike of the paring down of some of the creature types, because I feel like differing viewpoints are good in game design and I've not really seen that many statements voiced in opposition to these changes. My view of it is that it strips out a lot of uniqueness of Magic as a setting. Other settings have humanoid lizards, but they don't have Viashino. Other settings have undersea-dwelling peoples, but they don't have Cephalids. Naga becoming Snake was completely understandable, and I think the justifications for it were valid. I do not think Viashino becoming Lizard or Cephalid becoming Octopus were remotely justified. On top of that, it creates some weird points, where you can see clearly crocodilian humanoids (the Viashino from Alara) now labeled as Lizards, which not only are separate types in Magic, they're not even closely related in real life (crocodiles are more closely related to birds and dinosaurs than lizards). I've seen a number of very loud people advocate for trimming all the "unnecessary" types in Magic out, but their proposals usually end up as "there should be about 20 creature types total." This is not only unsatisfactory from a game design standpoint--as it would make tribal decks a bit *too* easy to accomplish--but absolutely catastrophic from a flavor perspective as well. At that point, why not just have typelines be "TYPE1", "TYPE2", and so forth? Flavor and function have to work together, and sacrificing too much of either is a bad thing. Too little function, and the game becomes unplayable. Too little flavor, and the game becomes cold and sterile. This is not to say that trimming on creature types is a bad thing--I think Magic wouldn't be hurt by trimming on a few more creature types if you asked me--but just that I think the choice of creature types being trimmed is odd, to say the least. Why does a regularly printed creature type with new cards that were printed just earlier this year get the boot, and not something like trilobite, which has all of 5 cards, with a 4 year gap between the printing of the most recent one and the one before that? If this is to help tribal decks, why are there still one-off or two-off creature types being printed, like Varmint and Coyote?

We're not getting rid of Viashino. They will continue to creatively exist. We will still refer to them in titles and flavor text as Viashino. All we're doing is consolidating the creature types so that we're consistent in how we use them.

Magic has been treating animal humanoids this way (aka using the animal as the creature type) for two plus decades. All we're doing is going back and fixing the few that got done before we adopted this policy back in the early days of Magic.

[puripurin]

Yan! Llama Hybrid x SheepHybrid! Reader

— Recently, on the farm, a bunch of coyotes and wolves started to snag some sheep hybrids into the woods when they would get too close to the fences. It has gotten so bad that they would do it in broad daylight.

The owners decided that they would introduce a new addition to the herd to combat the coyotes. A male Llama named Lumi. All of the sheep were skeptical at first because they all thought that it was a little odd that the new sheep would have such a long neck and a lot bigger in size, but soon enough, they couldn't help but warm up to him.

Lumi, on the other hand, was still in his awkward phase. He'd recently entered into adulthood and was feeling sad and lonely without his parents there to guide him, but it wasn't until he saw your gorgeous curls and your small little tail that wagged in excitement. Just in that moment, he'd decided to be your life-long mate and started the process of courting you.

You did not give a shit about Lumi. You only cared about the coyotes that ate the rest of the flock. You wanted to start making sacrifices to grow your cult of small critters such as squirrels and rabbits.

This was because you heard from a passing by sheep hybrid that was being transported to another farm about how you could obtain everything you wanted if people devoted their lives to you.

However, you didn't expect Lumi to be so dedicated to you that he'd easily deciphered your messages to your devout followers and your weekly gatherings.

As you walked out of the dead of night, with the intention of killing a coyote that night. But it was oddly still, as if it was waiting for something. The trees didn't ruffle against each other, and the cool wind was nowhere to be seen

You stiffened up and silently walked back. If one of the other sheeps found out about this whole cult thing you had going on, you'd be ousted and killed by the coyotes instead.

But, you were immediately thrown down and turned over. Your eyes widened in panic and started to attack the person who held you down silently, only to realize that blood was dripping on your face.

"My love, I've killed one of those tainted and unpure coyotes for your sacrifice. I would hate to see your delicate hands get stained with something unworthy of your desire... but why... Why do you yearn and look at someone else with interest other than me? ... Only I shall be your eyes and ears, my love..."

Random and barely edit post after months of not posting. I was watch yt shorts and i came across a video abt guard llamas w sheeps. Its been on my mind for 3 weeks and i started this 2 weeks ago. I only decided now to finish it.

You can see the point where i went fuck it because i had no idea what to do with the reader's background so i was like "Ooh maybe they want to smash the coyotes... what's close to smashing coyotes... Cult." Cult leader YN it is.

Anyways below is for the rest of people who want to know what happened after that incident.

I feel better about my dog's death, but we weren't able to get him back due to the poor weather and the fact he was last seen in a drain. So there wasn't a proper burial, but I'm happy that we didn't end up with 2 losses. We had them since they were puppies, and its upsetting that the younger one died, but i understand why they had to kill him.

He's a dangerous breed of dog even though he's docile most of them time. He was a cane corso, and my older dog is a rottweiler and pitbull mix. So not the most safest dogs to be around, but what are you gonna do when your country is busy locking up a man for money laundering bcs they shit at their jobs.

Right, if I'm not lazy enough, I'll go back and redo every one of my ocs bcs im on the verge of deleting them all from embarrassment. Then that will hopefully be a small week long event for my tumblr as im not used to those things. But this might take months.

Also, no won't do kinktober, im lazy, and smut isn't my forte. Anyways bye-bye, see yall when my coffin feels too stuffy~

(soz if this is shit as well bcs i didn't do a whole lotta explaining abt Lumi's behavior)

[a-a-a-anon]

appreciation post for Lise Mayer!! she co-wrote The Young Ones (and The Bachelor Boys book, additional material like when they did Comic Relief, etc), which is well known. but she also wrote for other things in the alternative comedy scene like Rik Mayall and Ben Elton's comedy tour (source: BBC Breakfast Time interview)! and, something I didn't know until recently: she co-wrote/wrote for Kevin Turvey! she's not credited in his television appearances, but see below for sources.

i really loved the podcast episode she did with Alexei Sayle about TYO, you gain a lot of insight into her perspective! she also mentions misogynistic treatment like being asked to go make tea when they were doing script readings, not getting invited to a big BBC party because it was presumed she'd be Rik's plus-one, and getting groped at the BBC bar. it pissed me off on her behalf and partly prompted this post.

some specific accolades/accreditation/fun facts:

Rik crediting her with writing/conceiving the Kevin Turvey non-joke "All right, biting political satire: What do Lech Walesea and Menachem Begin have in common? They’ve both got foreign names! What do you mean it’s not funny?" (x)

Alexei Sayle in Thatcher Stole My Trousers crediting Lise with co-writing Turvey: "Lise was, like Linda for mine, a vital part of Rik’s career, co-writing both The Young Ones and Rik’s character Kevin Turvey..."

a 1987 source for Lise co-writing Turvey: "The assumption that women do not write comedy scripts was one with which Lise Mayer, co-writer of The Young Ones television series, has also had to contend. She started writing for Rik Mayall’s Kevin Turvey in the television series A Kick Up the Eighties..." (x)

Rowland Rivron (comedian who toured with The Comic Strip gang and lived with Rik and Lise) in What the f*** did I do last night?: "[Lise] also had the unenviable job of standing at the side of the stage when Rik was performing, and jotting down anything he said that was unscripted. If it got a laugh, it would be woven into the next night’s routine."

the only time i've ever seen a Rik Mayall/Ade Edmondson/Lise Mayer writing credit: for a poem called Distance which was collected in this anthology! Rik and Ade seem to have acted it out (or at least a version of it) in this 20th Century Coyote performance

Rik on Lise writing TYO: "‘She discovers different things: the comedy of embarrassment and awkwardness – she draws out the cheating and stealing that goes on in the house.’" (x) (Lise also says her "favorite comedy was always the comedy of embarrassment" in the Alexei Sayle podcast)

Rik: "... Lise Mayer wrote this great scene where I find a tampon in a handbag and it's my birthday party and I think it's a present because my character is Rick, who is such a git, he didn't know." (x)

Helen Lederer in Not That I'm Bitter, writing about being on The Young Ones: "[Lise] was known to be the brains behind it all, particularly the more surreal elements…"

she and Rik chose the bands (x)

Lise: “We’d have a table read at which point we’d discover that the script ran over an hour long, and then I’d have a sleepless night editing it.” Alexei: “You did that?” Lise: “Usually me, yeah…” (she later explains they'd present the script Monday and rehearsals were Tuesday, Wednesday-so she literally had one night to edit!) (x)

facts from the blu-ray commentary tracks:

Rick's yellow dungarees in Interesting were based off a picture of Lise in a similar pair

Lise wrote an essay about the tampon joke in Interesting so that the BBC didn't cut the scene (though they still edited it)

Paul Jackson (producer) credits Lise with arguing "you are seriously telling me that we cannot refer on television to something that happens to 50% of the population for about 30 years of their life? and we're not allowed to even refer to it" to make an executive back off about the tampon joke in a meeting

Lise came up with Neil's flowerpot covering in Nasty

Vyvyan/Vivian's name comes from Lise having lived in Vyvyan Terrace, Bristol

Lise thought of the cast switching costumes in Bambi (one of my favorite moments!!) (/end of commentary track facts)

this is guesswork, but i've seen Ben Elton and Rik Mayall's handwriting and i'm pretty sure the editing/handwriting on the bottom left on this script must be Lise's, which gives insight into what/how she wrote: (x)

i feel like it's easy for people to overlook or minimize Lise's impact, something that happens to female creators far too often. i hate when women's identities are framed around their association to a man-girlfriend to Rik in this case-which was the norm whenever i saw Lise discussed in articles/books/online discussions about TYO. it's important to know she was a writer and co-creator with her own identity and (underappreciated) contributions. The Young Ones (and Kevin Turvey, and things we don't even know she goes uncredited for) would not have been the same—or wouldn't have even existed—without her!

[sunlitsunflowers]

A Little Bit Easier

Jake Seresin x reader

Word Count: 893

Warnings: descriptions of feeling overwhelmed

Summary: you get overwhelmed at the hard deck and Jake comforts you

The Hard Deck was busy, a sea of bodies all packed into the space. People jostling each other trying to move around, practically shouting to hear each other over the music and other patrons.

You were trying to focus on your friend group, on the game of pool Fanboy was spectacularly loosing, you really were. But you could hear it all. Each conversation, the loud obnoxious laughter, the clinking of glass. Hell you could even hear the buzzing of electricity coming from the overhead lights and the odd clicking of the ceiling fan that was spinning lazily. It was a lot.

It was too much.

You turn to Bob who was perched next to you watching the pool game unfold.

"Hey, I'm just going to head outside for a minute. I need a bit of air" you say trying to keep your voice light and an easy smile on your face. Bob looked at you concerned, you definitely didn't succeed on pretending you were all right but you were hoping Bob would let it go.

He was about to open his mouth when Coyote's voice jumps out of the crowd, "I need some actual competition here and seeing as Hangman isn't playing. Bob you're up!"

A pool cue is thrust into Bobs hands and you take that as the perfect opportunity to make an exit. What you didn't realise was a certain blonde pilot had been watching the entire interaction. To be completely honest Jake had been watching you the entire night. He couldn't help it, his eyes look for you in every room he walks into. But he'd seen the shift in you when the bar started to get more crowded, the voices a little louder. He saw the way you drew back from the group, the way you were gripping onto your drink like it was the only thing keeping you tied to the floor, the way you would flinch when a particularly loud laugh would cut through the crowd, the panic in your eyes as people pushed passed. He saw it all.

Jake waited a minute as he watched you weave your way out of the bar before placing his drink down and following your path. When he got outside what he saw broke his heart.

You leant against the wall of the Hard Dark; your hands clenched, body shaking, breaths coming out in rapid puffs. Your eyes screwed shut as you desperately willed for your breathing to slow, you didn't notice the concerned Jake who stood before you.

"Sweetheart" Jake said, his voice low and smooth as he tried not to scare you. Your eyes snap to his, wide and brimming with tears, the panic evident.

It hurt Jake to see you like this. Slowly he took a step towards you, "oh, sweetheart."

He itched to reach out and pull you into him but he didn't know whether that was what you needed. But your body seemed to have made the decision for the both of you because as Jake stepped towards you, your body jerked off the wall and stumbled into him. Jake was quick to steady you as he wrapped his strong arms around you.

"There we go, I've got you. You're okay," he spoke into your hair.

Jake continued to speak reassurances, while tracing slow circles on your back. You don't know how long you stood there, but wrapped in Jake's arms the noise from the bar slowly fades as the rest of the world disappears.

"Jake" you breathe out, your voice barely a whisper. Your face pressed against his chest and all you can hear is the steady beating of his heart which is helping to calm the racing of yours. The soft rise and fall of his chest helping you to even out your rapid breaths. You're about to say his name again, thinking he didn't hear you when he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head.

"Yeah, darlin'," he murmurs, his lips ghosting over your forehead.

"I just wanted to say thank you." You take a deep breath, allowing the smell of Jake's cologne and the sea air to fill your lungs.

"You make breathing a little bit easier" you whisper so quietly you doubt Jake could even hear them. You weren't sure if you wanted Jake to have heard you. To hear you breathing out a secret whilst wrapped in his arms.

You go to pull away, to head back into the busyness of the bar, but as you do Jake draws you tightly into his chest, trying to squeeze out any amount of space between the two of you. He presses his lips to your forehead, as his arms pull you impossibly close, like he's scared that if he lets go you'll disappear. You burrow into him further, even though there isn't any further for you to go, hoping that he understands that you aren't going anywhere.

"I love you" the words so quiet you barely hear them. Words that fill you with warmth. Words that make you want to dance around because Jake Seresin loves you. You don't, instead you turn and place a kiss over his heart.

"I love you too" then turning your gaze back towards the ocean you smile; happy to stay here forever. The steady beating of your hearts sharing the same rhythm.

[barrenclan]

I think that cormorantpaw is just father by the front bottoms but turned into a bisexual cat

I mean, that's not inaccurate.

I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat And he is screaming and crying for help And maybe halfway through, it has more to do with me killing him Then it ever did protecting myself

As soon as I come, you will probably forget my name I hope I fall asleep at the wheel and crash my car on the ride home Or I could just stay here

Haha, a Spongebob song. I worked that show last summer so I've heard these songs a lot. I like the idea, though!

Stay away from the future (Stay away... stay away from the future) (The end is coming, the end is coming!) No point in making plans (No point in making plans) It's all deranged (The end is coming, the end is coming!) (It's all deranged...) No control (No control...) (The end is coming, the end is coming! The end. is. coming!)

It doesn't seem to have been! The music tag is quite long at this point so it's pretty hard to find old songs.

When life loses meaning, there doesn't need to be a reason There doesn't need to be a reason, there doesn't need to be a reason

When you're stuck in this position It's like training for the wrong conditions You've been training for the wrong conditions

Aw gosh, that makes me a little bit sad. Beautiful song, though. I can hear her as a good voice claim for Slugpelt, too.

Any place is better Starting from zero, got nothing to lose Maybe we'll make something Me, myself, I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car I got a plan to get us out of here I been working at the convenience store Managed to save just a little bit of money Won't have to drive too far Just 'cross the border and into the city You and I can both get jobs And finally see what it means to be living

Thanks, I'm glad you like the comic! I'll check out the album.

Ooh, spooky!

Don't cry when lanterns fade Soon we'll be awakened But it breaks my heart to say No one will save you now

Listen closely for your sister's footsteps Lest you fade here all alone I have never seen a night this haunting In these streets of blood and bone

Wow, I'm honored to be the sponsor for your Tumblr account! I like this song for Cormorantpaw.

I was lost Calling out for someone just to come And show me love Teach me how to function as a modern man

Every night talking in my sleep to tell you That I lied and I was just pretending to keep Holding out for someone better

Very cool! And very Rainhaze and Ranger, or maybe early Prowl and Deepdark.

I made a post about this, a long time ago. Here it is:

Yeah, I can see it!

Pulling it up From the wet ground I couldn't stop Had to find out

Picking the scar I know it's the wrong call It won't bring the relief I know that I long for Some things are best left to rot Some things are best left to rot

I'm always taking song recommendations! It's like, at least 30% of my inbox at any given point in time.

Coyote I'm treading water Don't lead me Straight to the slaughter 

He's watching under the silver light  He's stalking now for a time that's right

[mothdruid]

Homemade Dynamite

pairing: bradley “rooster” bradshaw x fem!reader

summary: You and Bradley had a history, not a positive one. After growing up together, your relationship ended in shambles. Being called back to Top Gun is forcing you to face him again.

wc: 10.3k

warnings: 18+, smut, mdni, angst, this is mainly smangst, lots of crying, best friends javy and jake, bradley and natasha best friend dynamic, penetrative sex (p in v), oral sex, vaginal fingering, use of "i love you"

a/n: i've been working on this intermittently for about two months now. i got the idea from Lorde's song Homemade Dynamite. that song just felt tragic yet happy at the same time, so here we are. also i know it seems a little quick to forgive but that's my red flag with emotionally unavailable men, so here we are. ps. i use my own call sign for everything i write now cause it's easier on my brain

Years had passed since you were last here. Top Gun. A hatred had festered inside of you ever since you were a trainee there. Memories plagued you as you drove through the surrounding town. You never thought that you would have been called back here, especially not after getting the cushiony test pilot spot. Even though it had been years everything felt unchanged, the exact same as when you left five years ago. 

That unchanged feeling brought you to the Hard Deck. The Hard Deck was a Top Gun staple, every pilot knowing of the bar. You climbed out of your car and made your way into the bar. A sense of familiarity took over you as you walked in. The Hard Deck was filled to the brim with people, a healthy mix of civilians and naval aviators. A smirk gathered on your lips when you saw a familiar face. 

“I can’t believe it. Howler, is that you?” 

“Hey, Penny.” You gave her a curt nod. 

“Haven’t seen you in a minute.” She flashed you a smile before gesturing at the bar around her. “What can I get you?” 

“Got any CiderBoys?” Penny nodded as she retrieved the bottle from the fridge under the bar. Your gaze searched around the bar, seeing a few recognizable faces. The noise of Penny removing the lid from your cider pulled your attention back to her. “Anyone still floating around here?” 

“You mean, is Rooster still around here?” Your stomach dropped at the mention of his call sign. Bradley Bradshaw. He was once one of your most trusted friends. The two of you grew up together, went to naval academy together, even graduated from Top Gun at the same time. But everything had changed while at Top Gun. The cool tart taste of your cider coated your mouth as you took a swig. 

“That wasn’t what I meant.” You took a few more drinks. 

“I know you, Howler. You’ve spent way too many nights getting too drunk in my bar, for me not to know.” You gave her a look, one she hadn’t seen in a while. It said that you had walls now, walls that weren’t coming down anytime soon. The mom in her gave you a specific look, one that was laced with concern. “I’ve seen Hangman and that’s really been it. He is actually just over there.” Penny nodded off in a direction.

Truth be told you had never completely liked Hangman, him being the reason for your embarrassing call sign. But if Hangman was all you could get right now, you weren’t gonna complain. You quickly asked for one more cider before heading off in his direction. A pleasant feeling washed over you as you saw more familiar faces the closer you got to him. It was a classic scene you walked over to, Hangman and Coyote playing darts. The both of them were in civilian clothes, just a t-shirt and jeans. 

“Well, I’ll be damned.” The Texan called out as Javy threw a dart. You held your arms out, a cider bottle in the both of them. “What are you doing back here? Last I heard you were out in Maryland.” You took a drink then flashed a smile. You turned to see Javy who was shooting you a big grin. 

“I was! After coming back stateside I went to do jet testing.” A surprised yet proud look covered Jake’s face. Javy came over and gave you a small cheers before the both of you took a drink. Coyote threw his arm around you and pulled you in for a hug, one you happily obliged. 

“Testing? How did you get that lined up?” You looked up at him while being tucked under his arm still. Javy had always been a good friend of yours, ever since the academy. Coyote and Fanboy had always been there for you, and on occasion Hangman. You shrugged slightly as you walked over to the table that had their beers and items on. You set your spare cider and light sweatshirt down on the table. 

“Not quite sure, I guess I’m just lucky.” A thud from a dart hitting the board is what you were greeted with when you turned around. Coyote gave you a goofy look and Hangman a chuckle as he placed a toothpick between his teeth. “What?”

“Sure, Howler.” Heat bubbled up to your cheeks immediately at the mocking of your call sign. Jake’s lips curved into a shit-eating grin as he watched you. Jake would never forget that night, the night he found out there was something more going on between you and Rooster. That was also the night he found out you were loud in bed, ‘howling’ all night as Bradley fucked you. 

Coyote snickered while you brushed off your slight irritation, rolling your eyes. “You realize this is why some people don’t like you?” Jake walked towards you, cockiness oozing from him. 

“Doesn’t matter, I got you and Coyote here with me. That’s better than anyone else.” Hangman grabbed his bottled beer, cheering it to the both of you before taking a long drink. You and Coyote exchanged glances for a moment. 

“What a sight for sore eyes.” A new but familiar voice spoke up. The three of you turned to see the old cohort. Phoenix, Fanboy, and Payback were staring at the three of you. Mickey flashed you a smile as he walked towards you, gesturing for a big hug. Even though sour memories were plaguing your mind, seeing everyone again was worth it in the long run. 

“How ya been?” Fanboy asked while in the embrace. 

“I’ve been well! You?” You gave a nod to Natasha as she walked past the two of you. 

“Good, it’s been good.” Payback came up behind Fanboy, holding his fist out. You gave him a fist bump as the three of you started talking. Phoenix was bantering with Jake and Javy while you told Mickey and Reuben about your time up in Maryland. 

“Who are you?” Hangman’s voice was loud enough to pull everyone’s attention. All of you turned around to see a man sitting near you all, munching away at a cup of peanuts. His large wired frames looked oddly familiar. You stood there for a moment racking your brain as he started to talk. 

“I’m Bob.” Not a sound came from any of you. “I’m a weapon systems of-”

“A WSO, right?” You asked briefly. Bob nodded as he cleaned broken peanut shells off his lap. “I think you’re on the thing I got called back for.” Bob flashed a half smile as he ate a few more peanuts. Phoenix tilted her head as she stared at Bob. 

“Bob Floyd? My new WSO?” Bob smiled again. 

“Call sign?” Hangman questioned. 

“Bob.” Hangman knitted his eyebrows together in a questioning manner. 

“That’s it?” Bob nodded with an innocent look on his face. 

“Badass on board.” It slipped out of you without a thought. Bob sent a full smile in your direction as some of the others laughed. You pushed your elbow out, knocking against Mickey who quickly stopped laughing. 

“Looks more like a baby on board.” Hangman quipped as he threw a dart at the board. Phoenix rolled her eyes at Hangman’s reply. 

“Always got something to say, huh?” Natasha tended to have a short fuse when it came to Jake. It was an understandable short fuse since Hangman was an ass to her all through training. Hangman winked at her before throwing another dart. You moved back to your table, watching everyone as you cracked your next cider open. You flicked your gaze to the doorway, watching as the doors opened. Your light mood immediately dropped. 

Bradley Bradshaw.

The glass of your beer bottle touched your lips as you started downing the cider. Hangman and Fanboy’s eyes watched you both with concern, seeing you chug your cider. They exchanged a look between the two of them before Rooster came into view of them. Hangman flipped the toothpick in his mouth, pulling it out to speak up. 

“Look who decided to join us.” The rest of the gang looked up to see the tall brunette. A loud thunk came from your now empty bottle as you set it on the table. Phoenix and Payback greeted Rooster gleefully as he approached the group. A devoid sensation settled over you, waiting for the world to slow down around you. Slow motion never came though, just a panicked feeling. Your nails subconsciously dug into your palms, creating crescent shapes. 

Rooster smiled as he talked with Phoenix and Payback for a moment. He looked around to see who all was there. A curiosity prodded inside of him when he saw Hangman moving swiftly to a table. Anything that distracted Hangman from shooting an insult had to be interesting. Rooster followed the direction Hangman was walking in, his gaze landing on you. His lips pressed firmly together as he watched your still being. 

An annoyed feeling pooled in him as he watched Hangman get to the table. The relationship you and Jake had always seemed to put him on edge. His eyes followed Hangman’s hand, grabbing your hand as he spoke in a hushed tone. Bradley bit at the inside of his lip as he pushed his feelings deep down inside of himself. 

“Do you want me to take you home?” You looked up to see Jake’s concerned look. His hand covered yours, providing you a small sense of comfort. Bradley’s gaze became noticeable, your eyes meeting from across the short way. A conflicted look sat on his face, hazel eyes boring into your own. You pulled your hand away from Jake’s, not wanting Bradley to get the wrong idea. 

“No, I’m gonna head off though. I gotta unpack some stuff anyways.” Hangman nodded before gesturing towards the door. He gave you a soft pat on the back as you headed out. Your gaze stayed straight as you walked past Bradley, his gaze landing on you for a moment. Jake watched Bradley’s gaze follow you, Bradley turning around to watch you leave. 

“A picture might last.” Natasha elbowed Bradley, trying to catch his attention. Bradley’s lips tilted as he brushed her arm away. Natasha and Bradley’s eyes met, Natasha giving a concerned look to him. “Bradley, you know you shouldn’t.” 

“I don’t even know if she’d let me.” Bradley said while scratching at the back of his head. 

“You never know, but I wouldn’t push it.” Natasha watched as Bradley’s gaze drifted again. The both of them watching the door close behind you. Bradley felt his heart drop at her words. The damage to the relationship had already been done, and possibly could never be mended. Bradley patted Natasha’s back for a moment before heading towards the door. “Roo-” Nastasha felt a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from getting Bradley’s attention. She turned to be greeted by a slightly annoyed Jake. 

The fresh air outside had never felt so refreshing. The temperature had started to drop, which helped your emotions calm down. The devoid feeling started to escape you as you made your way to your car. Your breath felt a little shaky once you approached your car. You paused for a moment, trying to recollect your thoughts and emotions. The gravel of the parking lot crunched behind you, signaling someone was near you. You rolled your eyes before turning around only to be surprised. 

“Hey.” Bradley’s face looked forlorn with his husky voice. Your heartbeat picked up, adrenaline pumping through your system. Anxiety started to set in as the two of you stared at each other. Your hand drifted into your pocket, grabbing your keys out of it. 

“Hey.” The single word was shaky as it left your lips. A small smile tugged at one side of Bradley's lips. You leaned back against your car, looking up at him. Bradley looked down at you with a look of fondness, thinking about all the good times you used to spend together. 

The orange hue of the sunset casted over Bradley’s body while you stared at him. Fond memories flooded your brain for a moment. The one time the two of you snuck out and walked on the beach, talking about your plans after Top Gun. Quickly your brain switched gears, flipping to the memory of him leaving you alone and sobbing in the break room. 

“I heard you were out in Maryland.” Bradley caught on the change in your stare, making him step next to you. He made sure to put a small amount of space between the two of you before leaning against your car. 

“I heard you were in Europe.” Bradley nodded at your words. You kept your gaze low, staring at the gravel near your feet. 

“I was.” An awkward silence was starting to settle. Bradley looked over at you, seeing your low gaze. He awkwardly nodded to himself. “What are you doing back?”

“I got called back. Apparently they needed the best of the best.” Bradley snickered, thinking back about how skilled of an aviator you are. “You were called back too, weren’t you?” 

The question didn’t take him by surprise, but he wasn’t expecting you to ask. You brought your gaze up and looked at him. His hazel eyes were filled with that warmth you had missed. You tried keeping your face as blank as possible, but couldn’t help when you bit your lip. Bradley’s expression dropped a little, making your own drop. Bradley gave you a small nod, “They need the best of the best.”

A small smile appeared on your face when you looked away from him. Bradley smiled when he heard a small chuckle come from you. “This is gonna suck.” Bradley nodded again. “Don’t make it suck anymore than it already will.” Bradley gave you a questioning look. “Don’t act like you don’t know.” A small anger had started to boil in you, his facial expression adding more fuel to the fire. 

“That was four, almost five years ago.” Bradley pushed off your car and turned to face you. Irritation settled on both of your facial features. His nostrils flared for a moment as the both of you stared at each other. You crossed your arms across your chest while staring at him. 

“Bradley.” 

“I know. I fucked up.” His words were harsh, not to you but to himself. Your anxiety had changed and turned into annoyance. “What more do you want me to say? How do you want me to fix-”

“Not everything can be fixed, Bradley. You haven’t tried to fix anything for almost five years, why try now.” Your words were bitter. That was the main question floating in your mind. Five years. Five years of silence. What was so special now? 

Bradley sat in silence, not knowing what to say. A pain twinged in his chest as he watched you become a little more heated. “Now I have to go. Go inside, have a nice cold beer, play some darts, and just enjoy it.” The click of your car unlocking ended your sentence. Bradley watched silently with an irritated look as he watched you get in your car. You backed out of your parking spot, watching as Bradley stood there to watch you leave. 

The car ride home was painful, tears pricking at your eyes every now and then. The silence in your car was painfully loud as tears slowly started to stream down your face. A loud slam of your car door felt like the only appropriate thing once you got to your house. You dragged your hands over your face, this was gonna be a long few weeks. 

-

Five weeks. Three for the mission and two to find a new assignment. It seemed like a reasonable enough time frame. It wasn't too long or too short. But it was too much time around Bradley. Even though you two didn't fly in the same jet, he still managed to get under your skin. 

“Go get ready. I’ll see you all in the sky.” The sound of everyone’s chairs filled the hanger after Maverick’s dismissal. Jake caught your gaze, flipping the toothpick between his teeth. 

“Rooster and Howler, hang back for a moment.” Your eyes flicked up to meet Mavericks, shifting in your seat under his stare. Bradley adjusted in his own seat, correcting his posture a little bit. The shuffling of your teammates was the only noise between the three of you. After everyone left the hanger the both of you stood up, hands tucked behind your back. A stoic look dawned on both of your faces.

Maverick smiled, seeing two kids he practically helped raise standing in front of him. It hadn’t all been easy flights and sunshine though. He wasn’t present for either of your Top Gun training, but he had heard about what happened. Maverick raised his hand and dismissed your formal stances. “It’s good to see the both of you.” 

A curt nod was all you could give. Rooster gave a small smile with his own nod. Maverick motioned for the both of you to come forward, closer to him as he talked. “Now I know you two are both professionals,” you and Bradley stood almost shoulder to shoulder as he spoke, “but I have to give a warning.” Your gaze wanted to look at Bradley, needing to know if he was wearing a similar expression to yours. Your gaze stayed forward though, watching Mav’s expression. 

“What warning?” Bradley’s voice was laced with a hint of annoyance. You didn’t blame him, you would probably have a similar tone.

“You both know what I mean. Whatever is going on with the both of you.” Maverick’s eyes flicked between the both of you, a hidden concern plaguing him. “You have to set it aside.” Your teeth gnawed at the inside of your cheek after he spoke. You and Bradley nodded, neither of you wanting to verbally agree. Maverick nodded at the two of you again. “Good, now go get ready.” 

The walk back to the locker rooms was silent, only the sounds of your boots on the floor. You slipped into the women's locker room. Callie and Natasha greeted you in the locker room, both of them ready to go. 

“What was that about?” Callie asked. You knew that Natasha wouldn’t want to speak about it. Nat was good friends with Bradley, but she tried not to push and pry at the relationship you two shared. Natasha had been there when the initial discovery of the relationship was made. 

“Nothing, Mav just making sure we are good.” The both of them nodded. You quickly grabbed your items and finished suiting up. The three of you knocked helmets before you left the locker room, a small ritual the three of you always did. 

Most of the others were down the hallway, heading out to the tarmac. Bradley leaned against the wall, helmet hanging from his hand. He turned his head to see the three of you coming out of the room. Callie and Natasha gave him small waves as they passed him. Natasha briefly looked back, shooting you a concerned look. A small wave was what you gave her to fully dismiss her. You stopped only a few steps in front of Bradley. The both of you waited until you heard the door close finally.

“Hmm?” You made a small questioning noise at Bradley. Bradley’s eyes were locked on you, even though you were looking straight ahead. 

“You good?” The question made your eyebrows knit together. You turned to look at him, his expression was still bordering stoic. 

“Yeah, I’m good. You?” Bradley shrugged and raised his eyebrows briefly with his shrug. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” After pushing up off the wall he stood next to you, his helmet close to your own. An annoyed smile pulled at the corners of your lips. You rolled your eyes and shook your head. Bradley had always been like this, acting as if what happened never did. Bradley knocked his bright red helmet with your pearl blue helmet. “See you up there.” 

-

It had to have been the universe. Why else would you and Bradley end up in the sky together? The two of you had barely been in the sky for five minutes before he spoke over the radio. “You good?” 

You looked out your cockpit at him, squinting your eyes at him. Why the fuck does he keep saying that? It was like he was teasing you, knowing that you haven’t been the same since you two split. 

“It’s not like you care.” It was Bradley’s turn to squint at you. 

“And who told you that?” An irritation started to boil in your stomach. He had always been like this, acting oblivious to the pain he caused you. 

“Didn’t need to be told, you showed me that. Or did you forget that?” There was a harshness in your voice that Bradley didn’t like. 

“What does that mean?” 

“Don’t play stupid.” You looked at your radar, looking to see if Maverick had popped up. It was still clear which made you think he was below or behind you two.

“Look, I know that what I did was shit.” Bradley started to plead with you in a sense. “I’m sorry.” 

“Rooster, I’ve heard it before. I don’t want to hear it-” 

“You’ve never heard it. Always shoot me down first.” The boiling irritation turned into shock. Bradley had never spoken to you like that, or at least never with that tone. You looked back at him, nostrils flaring. 

Maverick came in over the radio, “Cut it out the two of you.” 

“The fuck did you say?” Bradley shot a wave out his window, knowing damn well he was pissing  you off. Bradley shot up a peace sign before diving down. You dove down behind him, the two of you falling into a rolling scissor maneuver. 

Back in the ready room everyone listened to you, Bradley, and Maverick over the coms. Bob was listening intently, not sure why the two of you tended to argue so much. Bob had a slight idea but wanted to confirm the exact reason. Bob elbowed Natasha softly, gaining her full attention. “Can I ask a question?” Natasha nodded while hearing you call Rooster a cock over the coms. “Why are they like that?” 

“Oh.. They have a bit of a history.” Natasha gave him an awkward smile. Natasha hated it. She loved the both of you dearly, but god did she hate how you two acted. She tried her best not to take sides. Natasha had been very vocal to the both of you when your previous relationship had been found out. 

“Is that what you call it?” Bob and Natasha looked over to be greeted by Javy and Jake. Jake’s lips were curled into his devilish smirk. 

“Yeah, it is.” Natasha said. Bob watched as Jake walked closer to them. Jake’s eyes were locked with Natasha’s, making her protectiveness of Rooster come out. “You don’t need to air it out, Bagman.”

Jake tilted his head slightly, his eyes flicked from Natasha’s to Bob’s. Bob averted his eyes, not wanting to fully meet Hangman’s intense gaze. “There you go Phoenix, being a good wingman for no reason. We all know what he did was wrong.” Jake kept his gaze on Bob, even though his words were directed to Natasha. 

“Bradley isn’t a bad person.” 

“Nobody said he was.” Coyote replied. Coyote and Hangman had both been there on that fateful night. The night that Bradley had left you broken and alone. Jake had held you close to him while Javy comforted you. Your sobs were something that they could never fully expunge from their brains. But while they were comforting you Phoenix was with Bradley, listening to his drunken ramblings. The ramblings consisted of him regretting ever ending the relationship to how he was a terrible person who didn’t deserve you. 

“What exactly happened?” Bob piped up, his curiosity getting the better of him. “Sorry, it’s just everyone seems to know. I feel a little out of the loop.” A loud shout from Bradley came over the coms. 

“Rooster and Howler were childhood friends, both military kids. Came to the academy and everything together.” Bob’s eyebrows knitted together in a questioning way as he listened to Javy. 

“Why then are they like this?” Bob gestured to the coms, Maverick calling out and telling you two to head back to ground. 

“They started fucking, giving Howler her call sign, then Rooster broke it off abruptly.” Bob’s eyes widened when he heard the bit about your call sign, making his mind wander slightly. A part of him thanked himself for having a generic call sign. 

“And she’s been bitter about it since.” Phoenix spoke up. 

“But Bradley left her alone, ghosting her afterwards. So, I’d say her bitterness might be a bit warranted.” Jake chimed in. Bob nodded, knowing a bit more about you and Bradley now. Fanboy then spoke up.

“Can’t you guys just stop bringing it up?” Everyone looked at him. A pensive expression was what Mickey wore, wanting to get his point across. “We were all affected by what happened. Howler was hurt and Rooster was never the same. So just stop.” Payback nodded at Fanboy’s words. Hangman let out a chuckle as he backed off of Phoenix and Bob. 

-

“What the fuck Bradley!” You grabbed his inflation device, shoving him back. An angry but flabbergasted look was on his face after you shoved him. Everything in you wanted to throw your helmet at him. The others rushed out of the building, running to separate the two of you. 

“What did I do wrong this time?” Bradley yelled at you, frustration settling on his features. His chest heaved as he looked at you, walking towards you. The two of you came face to face, only a few inches separating your face. Bradley’s eyes scanned your face, eventually landing on your lips. It took you by surprise the way he was looking at you. Your eyes flicked from his eyes to his lips, making you question your anger for a minute.

Maverick ran over, pushing the two of you apart as everyone finally arrived. Hangman and Coyote pulled you back, their words went in one ear and out the other though. Bradley was pushed back by Phoenix and Fanboy, his eyes not leaving you. A part of Bradley wondered what would have happened if nobody had shown up. 

It was a flurry of words thrown about but none of it mattered. Your brain tuned it all out, trying to find some form of calm. Hangman and Coyote started to usher you towards the hanger, taking you into the ready room. Your breath was heavy when they got you in the ready room. Hangman came around to face you, his hands resting on your shoulders. “Hey.” 

You tried to focus on his face, not paying attention to whatever Coyote was doing. “He…” 

“No, Howler.” Jake brought both his hands to your face, centering your face with his. “Focus on me.” Your eyes locked with Jake’s, focusing on the green irises staring back at you. You nodded to Hangman, showing him that you finally were focused on him. As you stared at Jake tears started to prick at your eyes, your anger turning into sadness. Hot tears started to stream down your face. A sob racked through you as you started to cry. Jake pulled you into a hug, holding you close as you left a wet spot on his green jumpsuit. 

Jake shot a look over to Javy, a knowing look. Jake stroked your hair, trying to make sure you were as comfortable as possible. “I hate him..” 

“I know, it’ll be okay.” Jake’s words were soft and comforting. 

“...But I still love him.” 

-

“Roo..Bradley..” Your voice was barely a whisper, his lips traveling along your neck. His hips were slotted against your own, a small rocking rhythm being made. Bradley’s breath was hot on your skin, hands traveling up your sides to your breasts. He pulled his head back from your neck, looking down at you. 

“So fucking pretty for me.” 

You had never shot out of bed so fast. The clips from your dream kept repeating, making you rub your eyes aggressively. You sat there staring into your lap for a moment, wondering what the fuck that dream was. That’s when you remembered what happened last night. Your suspicions were confirmed when you looked over the edge of your bed, a sleeping Jake Seresin on your floor. 

Tequila never mixed well in your system. 

After you climbed out of bed, avoiding waking Jake up, you stopped at the bathroom then went to the living room. Javy was already awake, phone propped up on his chest while he scrolled. A small hand raise was all you gave him, receiving a similar one back from him. 

“Jake asleep?” You nodded your head as you picked out a Keurig pod, placing it in the Keurig and waiting for the water to heat. Javy stared at you with a curious gaze, one eyebrow cocked. “You good?” No, you weren’t good. If he remembered anything from last night, he knew you were far from good. A shrug was all you offered him with a pathetic smile. “You don’t have to hide around me. Plus, Jake ain’t here right now.” 

“I know, Jav. It’s just,” a stupid smile spread on your lips before you spoke again, “I had a dream about him.” Javy sat up on the couch while he gave you that look you hated. It was that stupid knowing look, the one he liked to give you back in the day. “Go on, say it.” Javy threw his hands up in a defensive manner. 

“Hey, it could have been the tequila shots Jake had us taking.” Javy chuckled when he saw you give him that “yeah, bullshit” look. The sound of your Keurig pushing out your coffee filled the silence, your gaze drifting away from his. “You said you still love him.” You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth. You hated that Rooster still had this effect on you somehow. 

The emotional damage had never fully subsided. How could it have? The two of you had grown up together. This was never supposed to be the outcome. Hell, fucking was never even apart of the plan. But you couldn’t help it, your emotions getting the better of you on one fateful day. But it wasn’t just you, he had reciprocated it. Kissing you back just as passionately as you kissed him. But the more confusing parts were when the two of you would stay up late, laying in bed while talking for hours. Or the late night beach walks so no one would find out, even though everyone already knew. It didn’t last though, falling apart in an instant. 

“I know I did.” Javy threw the blanket off his lap, standing up and moving to the bar of your kitchen island. He gestured towards the Keurig, you picking up his silent asking for a cup of coffee. You just gave him yours that finished, popping in another pod after. 

“You gotta face him, eventually.” You fetched the creamer from your fridge, offering it up to Javy. “I’m not trying to be pushy or anything, it’s just that..” 

“He acts like we are just supposed to move past it.” You wrapped your hand around the back of your neck, sighing as your coffee finished. “As if he didn’t emotionally wreck me.” Javy poured a small amount of creamer in his coffee, grabbing a stir stick from the basket of goodies on your island. He pointed it at you intensely with the small wooden stick.

“Does he know that?” A slightly annoyed look pulled over your face. 

“Really?” You snatched the creamer from in front of him. Javy took a drink from his cup, hiding a snicker. “Javy, you know damn well th-”

“Men aren’t always that smart.” You squinted at him, bringing your own cup up to your lips. You hated when Javy was right. You appreciated it but god did it annoy you. At least it was better than Jake being right.

“Except you, right?” A big smile spread across his face. 

“Except me.”

-

The two of you hadn’t spoken since the incident. Maverick doing you both the favor of separating two from flying together, seeming as the two of you had been hazards the last time. The entire atmosphere of the group had changed too, almost like a divide had formed. You didn’t really mind, counting down each day until you could leave anyways. 

You stared out at the water, toes digging deeper into the sand. As much as Jake insisted he should come with you to the beach, you told him no. You knew he just wanted to make sure you were okay, distract you from your own thoughts. But you needed your own time. Time alone to sort out your thoughts. The sun had already started lowering, an orange hue casting over your skin and the sand around you. 

This was one of the few things you actually missed about Top Gun. The beach was unmatched, no other collection of sediments brought you this type of comfort. The sound of water softly beating at the sand, wetting it over and over. 

Did Bradley know? Did he know how he hurt you? Broke your heart? Damaged your ability to love? But yet still had you wrapped around his finger?

Your conversation with Javy kept replying in your head, along with the memory of that terrible night years ago. The memory was so clear yet fuzzy, something you had tried not to think about for years. The forlorn look on Bradley's face compared to your distraught one. The tears ran down your cheeks as he told you 'We can't do this anymore.' As if you had agreed to end things prior. He didn't even try to comfort you, no wiping away tears or anything. Just a 'sorry' and he was gone. 

You pull your knees close to your chest, tucking your face into them. Tears hadn't started to form, but you knew it'd be only a matter of time. It was such a hard concept for you to understand. How could he do that? Fuck his childhood best friend then disappear? None of it made any sense. You looked back out at the water, a deeper orange hue covering everything now. You went to lay back on the sand, but collided with something. Well, more like someone. You turned and looked up, a familiar face looking down at you. 

"Hey." It had been days since you last heard him speak. His voice was soft and almost hesitant. You wondered how long he had been there. 

"Hey." You turned back to stare at the sunset. You couldn't help wanting him to leave, but a small part of you wanted him to stay. Which is what he did. You could barely feel the sand shift behind you before you saw his legs extend out around your body. You turned to see Bradley had taken a seat behind you.

“Hmm?” Bradley hums. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Sitting down?” Bradley gave you a similar questioning look. 

“Wh-why are you sitting behind me?” As much as you hated it, a part of you missed this closeness. You missed these small things your friendship used to contain. It was a friendship you were never able to replicate. 

Bradley had just always provided a different level of comfort. Him buying your favorite candy without you asking, even the few comforting fucks you two shared. But maybe those gestures were what started to scare Bradley away. It was true that emotions were never something he could manage well. Even as a long time friend he had a hard time discussing them with you. He was much better at showing emotions through action, not talking about them. 

“It just.. it felt natural. I can move.” Bradley’s legs started to retract from around you. Without a second thought you brought one hand out, touching the tanned skin of his knee and thigh. The two of you stared at each other for a moment. You missed those hazel eyes, full of so much untold truth. 

“Stay.” Bradley nodded his head, settling back down behind you.

There was still a space between the two of you. Silence settled as the two of you watched the last slivers of the sun. Bradley remembered the last time you were at the beach. Glimpses of your bare skin barely visible underneath the water. The warmth of your body against his in the cold water. It hadn’t been the first time he had skinny dipped, but it was the most memorable. 

There was a small nervousness in you. It felt almost as if years of irritation had melted away. Bradley thawing out your heart, reversing the frozen state he had left it in. You decided to test the waters of his comfortability, and a bit of your own. You leaned back slightly. Bradley welcomed you, letting you lay back against his chest. Your heart fluttered when he wrapped his arms around you, supporting your weight against him. Your legs stretched out into a more comfortable position. Once the sky started to shift from orange to black you both started to speak. 

“I uh.. We should talk.” You looked up at Bradley, still leaning back into his chest. Bradley looked down at you, the mustache on his upper lip quivering in the slightest. He nodded, confirming that he also wanted to talk. 

“Yeah, we probably should.” Bradley broke his stare, looking out towards the darkened water. You could see the small details of him chewing the inside of his lower lip. The small tug from the inside being barely visible on the outside of his lip. There was another silence between the two of you before you spoke up. 

“What should we.. where should we begin?” As much as you wanted to attack him, the small angelic Javy on your shoulder told you else wise. Bradley shrugged, neither of you sure where to start the conversation. 

“How was Maryland?” It was such a generic question, and you knew it was just to avoid the true topic. 

“Maryland was nice. Lots of history there and that was about it.” Bradley smiled when he heard the history bit. “How was Europe?” 

“It was nice.” The smile was still on his lips, but he had turned to look at you. “Nice to kind of get out of here, the US I mean. Just experiencing somewhere else.” You knew exactly what he meant. Right after you graduated from Top Gun you went to Japan, running away from all your emotions at the time. You were there for three years. Three years of shelving your anger and sadness towards the man you were currently cuddled up to on the beach. 

“Italy, right?” Bradley nodded at your question. 

“Wish you could have seen it.” Another silence. You sat up and looked at him.

“Bradley.” 

“I know.” 

“Do you? Do you really know what happened?” Bradley’s eyebrows knitted together a little bit. “Bradley, you broke me.” It felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest, finally admitting to him what happened. Bradley’s lips tightened together, his gaze shying away from yours. “You really have no idea, do you?” You stood up, turning to stare down at him. 

Bradley sat there with his hands in his lap. He was staring at your feet, still not wanting to meet your gaze. You stared at him for a moment longer, your eyes starting to water as you looked at him. As much negative emotion you had towards him, you couldn’t help the warmth and love you still felt for him. That was when he looked up at you. Eyes watering just like yours, lips parted as he ran his tongue over his lower lip. 

“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t like any previous apologies he had half assed to you. This was a vulnerable apology, just the two of you. The first time he didn’t mention fixing the relationship. The last time you had seen Bradley this vulnerable was after the last time you had sex. You had categorized that night as making love, not just fucking. It was the first time you had told Bradley you loved him, even though he couldn’t say it back. 

You lowered to your knees, neither of you breaking eye contact. Bradley’s knees bent, bringing his legs a bit closer to himself. You were kneeled in between his legs, one of your hands going out to stroke his cheek. 

“I was scared,” Bradley had finally started to say, “I was scared to lose you.” Your eyebrows knitted together, confused by his words. He had lost you though. “I didn’t want to lose you like I lost my dad.” Tears had started to fall down his cheeks. You swiped one of them away as he looked away from your gaze. “I didn’t want to lose you abruptly. I watched what that did to my mom and I was.. I didn’t want to experience that again. So, I thought if I broke off our arrangement I’d feel better. But I didn’t.” 

“Bradley.” His name was barely a whisper on his lips. 

“I love you.” The three little words that you had been waiting years to hear from him. The two of you had said it as friends prior, but this was the first time it meant a little more than that. Wet streaks started to form on your own cheeks, tears rolling down them. 

One of your hands snaked around his neck, the other cupping his cheek. You pressed your lips to his, conveying more than what words could. Bradley’s hands moved to your jawline, one cupping your cheek while the other cradled your jawline. It wasn’t anything sexual, only emotion. Emotions that neither of you could fully express with words. When you pulled back Bradley tried capturing your lips again, you placed a hand on his chest to stop him. You placed your forehead against his, a hand on the back of his neck and the other still on his chest. 

“I’m sorry.” Bradley whispered. You smiled softly at his words. 

“Don’t be.” You pulled back and looked at him again. His hazel eyes looked different now, studying your every feature. 

“I missed you.” 

“I missed you too.” 

The next twenty minutes were a blur, moving a bit too fast for either of you to fully register. You and Bradley drove back to your house, him tailing you in his old Bronco. The two of you quickly made your way into your house, Bradley kissing at your neck as you tried to unlock your door. After your nerves allowed you to unlock the door the both of you were tumbling into the foyer. Bradley’s hands were on your hips as he kicked the door shut, pulling your ass back against his hips. 

“Bradley.” 

“What?” His mustache tickled your skin as he mouthed your neck. “Been thinking about this for years.” 

“You could have had it the whole time.” You quipped to him. You were testing the waters, seeing how far you could push him. His hands tightened on your hips, flipping you around and backing you into the wall. 

“Yeah, don’t remind me.” Bradley pressed his thigh in between your legs, rocking his hips with yours. His hands guided your hips while resting his forehead on yours. His hot breath mingled with yours, making everything seem a few degrees warmer. His mouth smashed into yours, a messy kiss ensuing. His lips were wet on yours, tongues battling for dominance inside of your mouth. Bradley’s hands snaked around to your ass, grabbing and pulling you somehow closer. 

“Bradley.” His lips trailed down your jawline, connecting with your shoulder. He rested his forehead on your neck, taking deep inhales of your scent while rutting into your hips. His cock was already hard in his shorts, digging into your hip as the two of you rutted. Everything Bradley did was rushed and needy, as if it would be the last time he would have you like this. He pulled back to look at you.

“You look so beautiful like this.” A heat boiled into your cheeks, a part of you somehow forgetting how Bradley used to praise you in bed. The way he used to praise you through your orgasm, telling you how tight you were squeezing him. Your core clenched around nothing at his words, rutting your hips into his. Even though it had been years, you felt that familiar squeeze on your ass that Bradley used to get you to jump.

Bradley caught you when you jumped, pressing your back against the wall and adjusting your legs to wrap around his waist. The way his hard on was pressing against your still clothed core made you wish you were bare underneath him. Bradley groaned as he kept rutting into you, dipping his head into the crook of your neck. His mustache tickled the skin lightly as he mouthed from your jaw to shoulder. 

One hand moved from cradling your ass to your shoulder, pulling the collar of the old t-shirt you wore down and to the side. His tongue traced the same exposed section of your collar bone. Your fingers threaded through his hair while your other arm snaked up around the back of his neck. You hadn't even noticed that Bradley started to move the both of you. 

Both hands were planted in your ass as he walked over to the couch. The plush couch hit your back as Bradley laid you down. His hands quickly grabbed at the hem of your shirt, pushing it to feel at the newly exposed skin. The skin that was so familiar yet distant to him. The familiar ghosting of his hands over your midsection, sliding up to cup your breasts over your thin bralette. 

"Fuck, I missed you so much." Bradley's heavy breaths we're hard on your skin, making goosebumps blossom all over you. His hips were still rutting against yours, practically pinning you to the couch. 

"You have no idea Bradley. All the nights I thought about, fucking myself to what we used to have." Bradley stilled, panic quickly flooding your system. But then he kissed you. It was different from the make out session prior. It was more akin to what you shared on the beach. 

"I missed you, not just fucking you." Bradley said when he pulled back. The look in his eyes was sincere and full of emotion. "You've always been more," a trail of kisses started down your neck, "than just a fuck to me." His hands pulled your shirt up, helping remove it and your bralette so you could receive more attention. 

"Bradley," you cupped his face and pulled it to face yours, "I know. Even though you never said it, I always knew deep down." Bradley leaned forward and kissed you, that spark of passion reappearing. 

"Good, cause I'm about to show you again and again and again." Bradley's lips trailed down your neck, one arm propping himself above you while the other ghosted down to your chest. He kneaded your breast, thumb rubbing and flicking your nipple. "Gonna show you til you beg me to stop." 

"Don't know if that'll happen." Your fingers threaded through his hair, tugging lightly. A small groan left his throat, a smirk pulling at his lips. "We've got a lot of catching up to do." 

You smashed Bradley’s lips to yours, passion flowing between the two of you. The hand on your breast continued to knead the mound. The hand that was propping him up, moved closer to your head, fingers grabbing onto your hair and tugging you back away from him. The tickling trail of his mustache leads down your jaw and neck. He left a few nips on the way down, stopping to suck on the sensitive spot along your collarbone. 

The soft tickling sensation continued down your skin, his lips wrapping around your left nipple. His tongue swirled around the hardening bud, flicking it every now and then. Soft moans fell from your lips, urging Bradley on. He wanted them louder, needed to hear how much you missed him. His hand left your hair, coming down to rub your cunt over your shorts. His other hand ghosted down your side, grabbing your hips as you started to roll them into his hand. 

“Sound so fucking good for me.” Bradley groaned as he pulled back, watching your body react to his every touch. Your hands moved out to pull at his own shirt. 

“Off. Now.” Bradley smirked, his hands leaving your body to tug his shirt off. It was as if he hadn’t changed in years, still toned and tanned. An acute nostalgia washed over you, yearning to become familiar with his body once more. The feeling was quickly replaced with excitement as you reminded yourself of what you were doing. 

Bradley let out a groan when your fingers graced his skin. You sat up to meet him, hands roaming all over his chest. A smile stayed on Bradley as he watched you admire his body. Your eyes flicked up to connect with his hazel ones. One of his hands cupped your face, thumb rubbing your cheek lightly. With your eyes locked, you leaned forward and licked at one of his nipples. Bradley jolted a little bit, not used to the sensation. Groans started to fall from his lips, hand shifting from your cheek to the base of your neck. You wrapped your lips around his nipple, tonguing the bud just as he did to yours. 

The air filled with soft groans and moans from the both of you. The hand at the base of your neck grabbed your hair, pulling you off his chest. Bradley kissed you once more, hot and passionate open mouth kisses. He guided you back down, laying you on the couch once more. Your fingers threaded through the soft brown locks, tugging as his kisses continued. A moan was ripped from you suddenly, Bradley’s hand now pressing against your core again. 

He pulled back from you, staring at your almost breathless form. You felt the waistband of your shorts loosen, looking down to see Bradley had flicked open the button. He pressed his forehead to yours, “This okay?” 

“More than okay.” You placed a kiss on his cheek. Bradley slipped his hand underneath your panties, fingers diving between your folds. Bradley listened to your moans as he rubbed circles on your clit. You let your legs fall further apart, the fabric of your shorts and panties keeping his fingers close on you. Bradley mouthed at your neck, moans filling the air as you let him have his way with you. 

Bradley was nuzzled into the crook of your neck, fingers still building that sweet mountain of pleasure inside of you. An endless mantra of his name fell from your lips, fueling him further and further. The wetness coating his fingers was driving him mad. “I gotta taste you. You’ve always tasted so good.” A heat crept up your cheeks when you heard his words. A moan and nod was all you gave him, signaling you wanted him to taste you too. 

You barely had time to register Bradley’s hand leaving your panties, tugging your shorts and panties down quickly. Your legs fell open, waiting for him to take his place between them. His hand gripped the inside of your thighs as he settled. He dragged his lips along the inside of your right thigh, the prickle of his mustache tickling your thighs. He breathed out a hot breath on your cunt. He snaked an arm around your thigh, fingers spreading your folds as he started to lick and suck on your clit. 

“Oh fuck, Bradley!” Bradley’s locks were soft in your fingers, tugging lightly as he started to shake his head back and forth. His tongue flicked on your clit, sending small shocks of pleasure through your body. A tightness had started to form in your lower abdomen from Bradley’s actions. The hand gripping the inside of your thigh disappeared, reappearing when his fingers prodded at your entrance. 

One long finger slipped inside of you, finding that soft spongy spot quickly. It was as if Bradley had never forgotten. The map he had of your body years ago, still fresh and untattered in his mind. Another finger was added inside of you, both fingers fucking into you. The combination of his fingers and his mouth was starting to become overwhelming. 

“Mmm, there you go baby. Feels good, doesn’t it?” Bradley groaned, looking down to watch his fingers push in and out of you. 

“Bradley, if you don-” His lips were back on you, tongue assaulting your clit. With a few more flicks of his tongue and thrusts of his fingers you let go. Bradley didn’t let up as your moans turned into whines. Your body had started to shake the longer you rode out your orgasm. All of your muscles were tense, your legs starting to tighten around Bradley. 

“Fuck, you taste so good.” Bradley finally let up, moving up your body as you laid there in your post-orgasmic glow. “So pretty when you come for me.” Bradley kissed you again, the taste of you flooding your senses. His hands crept up your sides, rubbing and kneading the flesh. 

“I need you.” You whispered, putting your forehead to his once more. “Need to feel you in me.” 

Bradley let out a groan at your request. One of his hands moved to the button of his shorts, undoing them quickly. Your hands pushed at the waistband of his shorts and underwear, him helping you pull them off. Once both articles were removed you wrapped your hand around his cock, stroking lightly. 

A small shudder ran through Bradley, the distant yet familiar feeling of your hand wrapped around his cock. He would never admit that he dreamed of it multiple times over the past few years, dreaming more of his cock being deep inside of you. His head lolled for a moment, basking in the feeling of your hand. 

“Fuck, I need to be in you.” Bradley nuzzled into the crook of your neck once more, lips and mustache hastily working over the exposed skin. He guided his hips closer to the apex of your legs, your hand still stroking him. When he got close enough you lined him up, his cock resting at your entrance. 

He guided your legs around his waist before pressing into you. He pulled back just into time to watch your face contorted in pleasure. Your mouth was agape, a strangled moan coming out of it as he bottomed out inside of you. The stretch was intoxicating, something that you had truly missed. Bradley kissed your jaw and cheek, waiting for the approval to move. 

When Bradley noticed the smallest hint of a nod he pulled his hips back a little bit. His rhythm started with slow deep thrusts, moans and groans coming from the both of you. Bradley kept nuzzled against your collarbone and neck. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, one hand was laced into his hair. You weren’t tugging or pulling this time, just cradling the back of his head and neck as he fucked into you. 

Words were lost between the two of you. Rambling sentences fell from Bradley as broken ones fell from you. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Bradley whispered as he mouthed your neck. “You feel so fucking good. Always felt so good wrapped around my cock. So warm and inviting, makes it so hard to leave. God, you’re just amazing. Everything I could ask for. I love you.” 

You weren’t sure if he said it on purpose or accident, but you didn’t think twice about saying it back. “I love you too, always have.” Bradley’s thrusts became more powerful, the speed casually increasing. His cock kept hitting that sensitive spot inside of you, sending waves of pleasure through your system. 

Bradley’s arms snaked underneath you, one hand cradling your head while the other settled on the center of your back. It was similar to a cocoon, a cocoon of just Bradley. Bradley wasn’t sure what possessed him to need you that close to him, but he needed you. Wanted you to flood his senses more than the current situation. He wanted you to consume him, take away all of the bad that had ever happened between the two of you. Throw it out the window and start anew, which he felt was currently happening. 

You tightened around his cock, moaning against his chest. Bradley groaned as he could feel you getting closer and closer to your orgasm. It had been years but he remembered all of the telltale signs. He let your head fall back a little, still cradling it as he pressed his forehead to your temple. 

“Let go baby, let go all over my cock.” His words were slurred with pleasure but still had the same effect. The familiar tightness in your abdomen that had been mounting snapped. Your hands were reaching and clawing, trying to touch anything that was Bradley. 

He let out his own string of groans from you tightening around him. With only a few more thrusts Bradley was coming inside of you. His name fell from your lips when you felt him fill you. Bradley kissed your jawline, his hips barely pumping in and out of you know. The two of you laid on the couch like that for a moment, Bradley on top of you with his softening cock still inside of you. He rested his head on your chest, the two of you laying in bliss. It was Bradley who broke the silence. 

After a bit longer of laying there you tapped his shoulder, signaling for him to get up. The both of you went to the bathroom, cleaning up and using the bathroom. Bradley went to head back to the living room, but you grabbed his wrist. 

“Let’s finish this in the bedroom.” Bradley gave a gentle smile before nodding towards the living room. 

“Can I grab my underwear?” 

“Of course, can you grab my t-shirt too?”

Bradley greeted you in the bedroom, tossing your shirt to you. He watched quietly with a smile as he watched you put it on, your lower half already beneath the covers. Bradley climbed into the bed, sitting next to you under the covers. You looked over at him, a light smile on your face. Bradley tilted his head, giving you a soft but embarrassed look. 

“What?” You asked. 

“I just, if you would have asked me a few days ago about this.” He made a gesture between the two of you. “I wouldn’t have imagined this. I’m sorry.”

“Bradley, you don-” 

“Yes, I do.” That injured look from the beach had returned to his features. “I hurt you, and I’ll never forgive myself for it.” You reached out for his hand, thumb rubbing the back of his hands. 

“I know you won’t, but you can’t be constantly apologizing for it.” Bradley shook his head, trying to avoid your gaze now. He felt tears prick at his eyes, lips pressed tightly together at your gesture. 

“I told Nat that night. I got really really drunk and told Nat everything.” Your heart hurt, hearing Bradley slowly start to open up about everything was painful. Everything you heard on the beach you could have assumed. Growing up you knew he had some type of trauma from losing his father so young. 

“I told Jake and Javy.” It was now or never to get everything out and on the table, being the type of vulnerable you should have been years ago. Even though you two were partially best friends growing up, Bradley was always keeping you at some type of arm's length. 

“I could have guessed that one. They seem to be your two glorified guard dogs now.” Bradley chuckled at his own comment, earning an eye roll from you. 

“They were the only ones that cared,” you noticed Bradley bite the inside of his lip, “or at least seemed to care.” Bradley nodded, put his hand over the one you were holding his hand with. “Bradley, I know you cared. It was just hard for you to show it and everything.” Bradley nodded again while fighting back tears. 

“You deserved better. You deserved so much better than what I gave you.” Bradley looked at you, tears starting to create trails down your cheeks. “I should have been protecting you, but I ended up hurting you. And yeah, I had shit going on mentally but that doesn’t mean I had any right to treat you like that.” 

“Bradley-” You reached out to run a thumb over his cheek, whipping away the tears.

“No, it’s no excuse.” 

“Bradley, will you let me talk!” You raised your voice slightly. Bradley bit the inside of his lips, holding back his words. “Yeah, you did suck, but you want to try to be better?” 

“Obviously.”

“Then there. You’ve admitted to me that you fucked up. Do I completely forgive you? No, but am I willing to give you another chance? Yes.” Bradley looked at you, a hopefully but still hurt look on his face. 

“Why?” A slightly confused look was on his face. 

“Because I love you. I’ve been saying that.” You brought a hand up to his cheek, cupping it while you kissed him. Bradley let his tears fall as the two of you kissed, a gentle and emotional kiss. The both of you pressed your foreheads together, resting and taking each other in. 

“I know, I love you too.”

[flanaganfilm]

Hi Mike, how was Tribeca?

It was fantastic.

For those who don't know, I was lucky enough to be invited to sit on the US Narrative Feature Jury at this year's Tribeca Festival. I just got back yesterday from ten days in Manhattan.

I found the whole thing to be absolutely rejuvenating.

Our category had five jurors: myself, Zoey Deutsch, Stephanie Hsu, Tommy Oliver, and Ramin Bahrani.

Kate was also on a jury - she was on the International Feature Jury (which included Brendan Fraser and Zazie Beets) so that meant we spent the week seeing different movies. We'd pass each other on our way to different screenings, sometimes in the lobby of the theater, and then meet up for dinner or a party and get to tell each other about the awesome movies we saw that day.

It was overwhelming to start with. At the Opening Night reception, we met Robert DeNiro, and we saw Martin Scorcese and Matt Damon (we were way too timid to introduce ourselves). I did manage to introduce myself to Kenneth Lonergan, who has made some of my all-time favorite movies (You Can Count on Me is one of the best movies I've ever seen), and the great Chazz Palminteri (I got to tell him how much I absolute adore A Bronx Tale). I also spent a fair amount of time chatting with Peter Coyote, who was incredibly kind and funny. We chatted a lot about Ken Burns.

After that, we went to the Opening Night film, a terrific documentary called Kiss the Future. We walked the red carpet (something I'm never quite comfortable with, but luckily Kate is a natural) and we saw the movie with a packed house. It was a beautiful film and really started everything off on an amazing foot.

And then the judging started. I got to watch all of the movies in my category in the theater, with audiences. A car would pick me up and take me to the screening. At my busiest, I saw three movies in one day, but it was usually two.

I made it a point not to know anything about the movies before I saw them - sometimes I went in without knowing the title. And I can't overstate how amazing it was to see these independent films with an audience, in a theater, instead of streaming. Having spent the better part of the last five years watching this primarily at home, I was shocked at how inspiring and energizing it was to sit in a theater with a crowd over, and over, and over again. I've never seen this many movies in a theater in such a short time, and I LOVED it.

I didn't only see movies that were in my category, though. I also made sure I saw other films at the festival that I wasn't judging - including Downtown Owl, the directorial debut of my friends Hamish Linklater and Lily Rabe.

I made a point to go to the premiere of Suitable Flesh, starring the amazing Barbara Crampton and Heather Graham, and produced by my old friends Joe Wicker and Morgan Peter Brown from the Absentia Days.

And it wasn't all movies, either - I also got to moderate a chat with the brilliant Sam Lake about his upcoming Alan Wake 2 release. Sam was a joy to spend time with, and we had a lot to talk about.

And my friend and colleague Justina Ireland traveled up to NY to moderate a Master Class where a theater full of people listened to me ramble about horror movies for an hour.

(With Justina Ireland and Johnathan Penner - Penner ran the Escape from Tribeca program, and it was his idea to bring me to the festival)

And then, just before I left, I met up with some friends to see a Broadway show. Karen Gillan and Willa Fitzgerald joined Kate and I to see Grey House.

My experience at Tribeca was fantastic. It was such an amazing celebration of art and cinema, and I can't wait to go back. I spent a lot of it feeling overwhelmed, and feeling like I didn't quite deserve my seat at the table (imposter syndrome is just one of the staples of being a filmmaker, isn't it?) but I'm so glad I went.