#I've tried to petition for literally anything else

[sarcasticgaypotato]

Well if you INSIST... ;) As you might’ve gathered from the last post, Mara is in a Curse of Strahd campaign, but no major spoilers here.

Freshly stuck in Barovia, Mara teams up with a group consisting of a fire genasi sorcerer named ‘Priscilla’ and her human fighter bodyguard named ‘Vayle,’ an aasimar paladin named ‘Beau,’ a rabbitfolk bard named ‘Quince’, and another fighter of, at the time, unknown race, but unnaturally tall and very pale, named ‘Alecto.’ The group comes to name itself ‘Community Dagger,’ who you can see here in some adorable art from one of the other players!

Mara and Alecto hit it off immediately with Mara tending to Alecto’s wounds and Alecto taking a protective role in battles. Alecto’s mysterious, but then again so is Mara- who has not told anyone of her condition or why she hides her face, leading to the only way of reading her expressions being the movement of her ears, which stick out of her hood.

Some one-on-one bonding and intense emotional scenes later, and Mara is the first to discover that Alecto is in fact a Deva- an angel who cannot permanently die, but loses some of her memories every time she perishes. She barely remembers who she is or what her life was, but she knows that she has a son who was kidnapped and she is going to get him back.

Mara, a holy woman, is naturally a little shocked at this realization, and quietly panics under her veil because this entire time she has been having some not-so-holy-thoughts about Alecto and her very big muscles, and it might be a sin to think about an angel like that- she’s not sure. Mara’s a big ol’ repressed lesbian nun- complete with intense touch starvation on account of the ‘I can’t touch anyone with my bare hands or they’ll die and I literally have a kiss of death’ thing.

Still, she swears to Alecto that she’ll do anything within her power to help her find her son and the two of them gain another relationship heart in this gothic dating sim that we’ve forced our DM along for the ride on.

If I recount the entire almost year-long campaign we’ll be here all day, so I’ll just go over the biggest Mara bullet-points.

- In a fight against one of the villains from Priscilla’s backstory and his pet Displacer Beast, Mara rolled multiple natural 20s on animal handling checks and managed to not only keep it from attacking, but sway it over to her side. She named the beast ‘Ghost,’ and proceeded to have frankly supernatural luck with further animal handling checks (including another nat 20) leading to a well-trained, friendly giant murder-cat that trails behind Mara wherever she goes.

- Alecto is naturally the first one to see Mara without her veil in a moment of trust and vulnerability,

(Mara art from the incredible @bondibee​!)

But Mara wasn’t looking quite as good as she does in this picture. Mara’s necrosis is rapidly getting worse, reaching all up her arms, across large portions of her face, and over her heart. Mechanically this is represented with an unavoidable, resistance-ignoring 2d10 necrotic damage anytime Mara’s blackened skin is touched (or if any vampire-spawn are stupid enough to drink her blood...). Damage which, fun fact, stacked with the spell ‘inflict wounds,’ which Mara was forced to have prepared every day. Less fun fact, this is actively killing Mara. Her goddess’s protection is holding back some of the damage, but she’s on borrowed time.

- So in the last post when I said Mara’s mom died of a mysterious sickness? That was a bit of a lie. Elora Delune, Mara’s mother, got very sick very rapidly, asked Mara to care for her siblings, and then was gone the next morning. Presumed dead and mourned for as such. ...Guess who’s undead? Mara’s mother, who had also contracted the same necrosis as Mara, ended up in Barovia, succumbing to the rot and becoming a feral, tortured undead that Mara and the others were forced to fight. After an emotional fight, Mara managed to get through to her mother enough for Elora to ask Mara to put her out of her misery, which a grief-stricken Mara agreed to.

- Mara’s necrosis + inflict wounds combo (affectionately named ‘nasty touch’ for its ability to do, at the time of its last use, 7d10 necrotic damage that ignored resistances with a 3rd level slot) found itself being used in a time of need, despite Mara’s hatred of performing harm and especially of using the necrosis. Then it was used again, and again, until Mara was struck with horror at just how easy it became to excuse its use in the heat of battle. In the wake of a fight with an outcome Mara blamed herself for, she resolved not to ever use it again.

- After a long emotional journey of accepting her own mortality and recognizing that she had been living half-a-life on ‘pause,’ Mara formally asked her goddess to stop holding back the progression of her illness and let the cards fall where they will, accepting whatever comes next, be it cure or death. She also asks her goddess to instead watch over Alecto, as the two of them continue to get closer.

- Mara’s appearance is gaunt and drained of life, blackened veins snaking all across her body. She gains a vulnerability to bludgeoning damage as her bones are brittle, and any piercing or slashing damage releases black smoke that reduces her ability to regain hitpoints. She grows weaker and despite her attempts to insist the group continues as planned, they all insist on finding a cure to save her before anything else.

- This results in the group finding themselves in a temple deep underground filled with pools of holy water, where Mara decides to try an unorthodox method. Alone save for Alecto nearby, she wades into the pool and uses a high-level moonbeam to illuminate the water with radiant light before submerging herself and intentionally drowning herself. Letting the holy water fill her corrupted lungs, Mara might’ve died if not for Alecto’s Healing Hands giving her just enough hit points to survive the intense onslaught of radiant damage and near death via drowning.

Pulled out of the water at just the right moment by Alecto, Mara is on the brink of death but at the same time, reborn. No trace of necrosis remains, leaving her skin its usual purple-ish hue, her features lively and seeming nearly a decade younger, but most importantly, her touch? Harmless. The two embrace in the midst of the temple, sharing a moment that very nearly could’ve become a kiss... but not quite.

- Finally free from her curse for the first time in hundreds of years, Mara is overwhelmed with emotion, full of hope for the future that she always dreamed of; settling down and raising more children, living a quiet, domestic life.

...Then she got bitten by a super powerful werewolf within 24 hours and was cursed again. (’curb your enthusiasm’ theme plays)

With ‘Remove Curse’ not being strong enough alone to break the curse, mission ‘fix Mara’s curse 2: electric boogaloo’ gets put on the to-do list.

- But... on the bright side; Mara and Alecto admit their feelings for each other, finally share a kiss, and have a night of playful mischief together pretending to be young again. This comes after months and months of delicious simmering away of gay feelings on both sides, and is to date one of the sweetest romances I’ve had the joy of participating in. The monochromatic moms are one hell of a duo.

---

There’s Mara Post part 2! I’m still leaving out plenty, but this post is long enough as is. Mara’s terrible luck with curses currently remains, and although Mara is eager to be rid of her lycanthropy, I’m personally having a lot of fun with it. ,

This character is genuinely so much fun to play, partly because of how very different than me she is. Maternal, wise, and inexplicably French-accented.

[pilferingapples]

started re-watching LM 2K with some friends who also make terrible life choices

went in honestly thinking , Hey! maybe I am forgetting things! Maybe it's not as bad as I remember it being!

well 1.5 hours into this 8 hour fever dream and I can say. I was forgetting things all right! quite a lot of things! but whoo boy I owe Past Me an apology, this is bad and every new Thing I Had Blocked Out Of My Mind makes it worse

Thoughts, While I Have Them:

why does it start literally on fire

I'll give John Malkovert this: he does seem disturbingly horny for the idea of inherent traits and inborn social hierarchy. Beeblevert didn't really seem to know what to do with his phrenology displays; Malkovert whispers to them lovingly at night and probably licks them. This guy feels about eugenics like Grantaire feels about Enjolras. This guy is messed up.

( ...filmmakers know that when they've got someone with lots of human skull measurements and phrenology and Types of Human displays, they're saying that character is into eugenics, right? I'm not saying it's a bad move, it can be very accurate and telling ,but like. They get what that's doing there, right? RIGHT???)

The dialogue...is bad.... it's so bad...

"yellow is the color of happiness"

this timeline is a shambles. Fantine doesn't have Cosette until after Tholomyes is gone, and then apparently holds out for YEARS in Paris, since Cosette is if anything a little older than her book age when Fantine meets the Ts; meanwhile Valjean doesn't get out of prison until AFTER Fantine has moved to M-sur-M. Which of course means there's no factory for her to work at!

...but then after Valjean (very intentionally) steals from Petit Gervais, we cut to Fantine working in the factory. The Nettle Cloth factory . Which means Fantine was doing SOMETHING before Valjean showed up to Disrupt the industry with his Tech Breakthrough but like. What. If she was doing something else then why doesn't she go do that some more after she's fired? Because she very much doesn't, she goes right to attempting sex work...badly

like trying it with Javert first Badly

and then he threatens to arrest her but doesn't?? who is this man, what kind of Javert is he ffs . Letting a Poor go unarrested? Seriously this doesn't even scan with his characterization in this series

Instead he starts stalking Fantine and giving her Helpful Hints. He comes in right after she has a client?? and tells her to go to the circus??

She goes and finds the dentist and tries to get him to pull TEN of her teeth bc for no reason he's giving 4 francs a tooth instead of 20 for the fronts. The dentist is the only character in this show with sense and says NO THAT'S TOO MANY TEETH, and he just cuts her hair instead And listen we've got another Fantine with Mostly Straight Brown Hair , it's not even that long, and I'm sorry but there's NO WAY that's worth more than teeth, why do adaptations keep doing this

also why do they keep making Fantine so passive, so dependent on people telling her what to do? She makes bad choices sometimes--often even!-- but she Makes Decisions and fast, she goes all in without any pushing, that is a defining part of Fantine's character! but everything she does here gotta be because someone told her she Should

another one where Javert inexplicably goes to M sur M to see Cosette. Why? What possible reason for this?? he almost seems like he has a weird crush on Fantine rather than JVJ but that's. That's incoherent, for this character. even in this series!!

I've written so much and haven't even gotten to Valjean officiating a wedding for, apparently, a famous former sex worker in the town ? this is mentioned once and I don't think it'll ever be relevant again

1.5 hours in, Points For: a very cute little donkey, Petit Gervais having his Marmot, some very nice architecture, Baptistine existing

Unpoints for: everyone's bafflingly inconsistent characterization, the absolute mess of a timeline, Myriel still living in the palace but letting homeless people sleep on the floor?? , lots of very pointless Walking Around Time , Thenardier Sex , why do directors think I want to see them get it on, Please Stop

[irrigos]

Irrigo's Best and Worst Exceptional Stories from Every Year

This is going to be incredibly long. Should I have split this up into several posts? Perhaps. But I didn't. Anyway here's my extremely subjective opinions that may or may not match up with the subreddit's yearly survey. This post is long and has some spoilers, but I've tried to mention them only when necessary and labeled which little blurbs have spoilers in them.

2015

Best: Cut With Moonlight

I can say this very confidently now that I've played many many too many Exceptional Stories: a lot of them really fumble the ending. So, the fact that Cut With Moonlight has a good twist I wasn't expecting, and ties the ending back into the beginning of the story is what makes it a (haha) cut above the rest

Worst: Flint

There are lots of people who like Flint, and that's not illegal (despite my many petitions to the government), so I just have to accept it. I played it when it came out, and liked it at the time, even though I couldn't really grasp what was happening! I thought it was just because AK's writing was too deep and poetic for my simple mind, but now that I'm no longer a teenager, I think maybe he might just be a bad writer? Playing it now (when it's not split in half with a month between) it's way too goddamn long, it's really boring, I don't know why he made it canon that the Mountain of Light experienced sexual violence when she's literally a pile of rocks, and also the fatphobia in it really started to get to me. Like, I get it. The Imperturbable Patroness is big, but it felt like her size was brought up constantly. It might just be me, and other people maybe wouldn't have gotten this impression, but when I played it last, it felt like every sentence about her was like, "She heaves her huge body, holding a knife in her meaty fist, and stomps her big feet on the ground, and looks at you fatly"

Honestly, I would recommend this ES if you want to remind yourself why we're glad AK is gone.

2016

Best: Five Minutes to Midday

Are there better, more compelling stories, with more variance in the choices you could make? Perhaps. But this is MY list, and I'M in love with the Subdued Protestor. This one was extremely in character for my PC, and also particularly timely (I think when it happened, Morgan had just lost their soul), and the Protestor was sooooooo big and handsome and I love him. He's my best friend, my homeboy, my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good time boy. I really don't have much more to say than that!

Worst: A Waltz to Move the World

(Spoilers)

This one's complicated! There's a lot to like about it. I like that it has a soundtrack! I like that it's got cool Great Game stuff! In isolation, I like the idea of helping a woman reconcile with her father! But... I just can't escape the fact that the story expects you to have a lot of sympathy for this guy whose problem is he's so sad about the time he murdered his wife. Also- was any of the lore about The Old Man and the Winter in Vienna ever followed up on, or has it been mostly dropped? I don't remember. Someone who knows more lore than me might know, and I frankly don't care enough to check.

2017

Best: HOJOTOHO!

This one is one that is widely loved, and yeah, it deserves it! I don't actually have too much to say about it. Who doesn't love hanging out with some weird little kids? Having a little girl see an opera, latch onto a part of it, and just immediately be like "THIS IS ME NOW" is so accurate. Also, the final choice in this one was really tough for me! It was a doozy!

Worst: The Clay Man's Arm

I've written about The Clay Man's Arm already, so I almost wanted to pick something else for worst, just so I'd have something new to say. But how could I pick anything else! This is my least favorite story I've ever played in Fallen London. There are others that I think are worse in construction or morals or metaphorical implications, but I have not found a single one of them to be as repulsive. You couldn't pay me to play this one again.

2018

Best: For All The Saints Who from Their Labours Rest

(Spoilers)

Everyone knows I love Church and Hell stuff. And if you don't, you should! I'm the one who made them put the Bishop of Southwark in Mask of the Rose, because he's my special favorite! That said, I can't say I really loved this one as much as some of the other "best"s. I mean, I got some got Reggie moments, so that's good. But... I don't know. I was excited about there being a sexy priest, but sadly the Intrepid Deacon is EXTREMELY not my type (my type is.. well! Reggie! not little baby men who've never done nothing to nobody!). Also... well I'm not quite sure how to express this, but I think it's really weird that the end of this one basically confirms that Lucifer is... real? That he's one of the fallen princes of Hell, or something? Possibly implied that the Christian God is a Judgement? idk it rubs me the wrong way to have a religion confirmed true or false within the fictional universe. So, while I think this one is the best of the year, I can't say I don't have some pretty hefty problems with it. Also I always get the name wrong

Worst: Factory of Favours

I already wrote about this one here, but the important thing is, it's boring. There's really not too much more to say- you do a series of boring actions to achieve dull goals for NPCs who I wouldn't even say rise to the level of being actual "characters", and then it's over and you go home. It has all the substance and style of a dinner consisting of a single sheet of blank paper.

2019

Best: Cricket, Anyone?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all know it's the best one. Everyone says it's the best one. I'm so filled with spite I wanted to be super contrarian and pick a different one, but I can't. It's so fun, you guys. The lore reveals in it are cool (and it's important when an ES doesn't make me resent the presence of a Master- I do not enjoy those guys!), and the plot is exciting, the mechanics work really well, but in my opinion, the most important thing about Cricket, Anyone? is this: it's funny. There are points in FL where you can really smell the influence of Terry Pratchett, but they never manage to actually emulate him (turns out, when you try to combine Terry Pratchett, TS Eliot, GK Chesterton, and Jorge Luis Borges, you just get like... Neil Gaiman. And nobody wants that!). I love Pratchett's humor, so Groover capturing that, and actually delivering on the "hilarious" part of the "dark and hilarious Gothic underworld" that's advertised on the log-in page was really exceptional to me.

Worst: The Stag & The Shark

(spoilers)

2019 was actually a really good year for Exceptional Stories, and I had a hard time picking a Worst one. The Stag & The Shark was well-constructed, and I wouldn't say there was anything really wrong with it! I just wasn't really invested in the characters and I didn't care about any of their goals. The titular Young Stag wants to kill a Bound Shark because he think it will prove that he's cool, his dad wants his son to be safe and also stop being so fucking weird, and the fisherwoman whose boat you're on wants to recruit the Young Stag to the New Sequence. I don't really care about some rich kid wanting to fit in with the Young Stags, I don't care about his dad, and I also think the New Sequence sucks, so I don't care about them achieving their goals either!

2020

Best: Go Tell the King of Cats

Okay, you need to know one thing about me: I'm a cat guy. Also, a Cats guy. It's a good musical. And auxiliary to both of those: I love stories about old and busted bastard people. So this one was basically made for me. I don't want to talk much more about it, because I really think you should play it, especially if you like a story about an old bastard man (who is also a cat) trying to get a second chance. I teared up at the end.

Worst: The Dilettante's Debut

(spoilers)

uuuguughghguhgughguhghghghhhhhhh. Okay, the thing about The Dilettante's Debut is that I wanted to like it. I always want to like Exceptional Stories! I like it when things are good! But the ending on this one is.... god. It's bad. So you're trying to help the Dilettante restore the reputation of the Fairfax family, and also show up his cousin (the Wild-Eyed Socialite). I'm on board with this! I can do this! I generally don't see the point in undermining the people who hired me, so I didn't work against the Dilettante for the majority of the story...

... and then it turned out the final goal of the Dilettante's Footman was to use shapeling arts to mutate the Socialite into a Starved Man. If you agree to help him with this, in the end, you're told she's been put in a sanitarium. This is possibly (probably) a lie, but also... I mean, I'm supposed to mutilate this woman's body without her consent, and then banish her to either the Roof (most likely), or genuinely a sanitarium, a place where women were frequently abused, and for what? Because she drinks too much? She's successful and the Dilettante isn't? She's kind of rude to him?

I refused to help the footman, but then I didn't have enough cache with the Socialite to decent ending, so it felt like I was being punished for being loyal to the guy who hired me (because I didn't really have much reason to betray him) until he was going to commit and atrocity. I was either supposed to betray him for no reason earlier, or stick with the atrocity, and both are bad.

Anyway, it felt like Unto Dust (the story two months later) was trying to do something similar to The Dilettante's Debut, but it did it way better.

Anyway, it felt like Unto Dust did "last scion of a noble house dealing with his grandparent's legacy" way better two months later

2021

Best: The Tempest

Between this story and HOJOTOHO!, Fallen London really is the only game that I've ever played that truly understands little girls. The Tempestuous Urchin is pissed the fuck off about her lot in life, and she's right to be! And I just really enjoyed a story about how powerful anger can be, both to let go of AND to utilize. I just feel like you don't really see that a lot, and I really liked it.

Worst: For A Dream of Innocence

(spoilers)

I've talked about this one before, way back when it came out, but short version is: this one had a lot of errors, the story was unfocused, and I thought that it had some really Troubling implications.

The long version is: There were a lot of typos, or times when it referred to a character with the wrong pronouns. It seemed to have three different ideas, any of which would have been a decent ES in itself (a rogue French spy, making a new life in a vat, an enclave of Rubberies living under a bridge), but because they're all crammed together, none of them really seemed to pay off, and it just felt like the story wasn't really ABOUT anything.

And then the Troubling Implications.... first of all, the Abbess's motivations for being duplicitous and manipulative is that she's old and wants to be young and hot again, which... I mean it's possible for a person to want that, but it just seems kind of misogynistic to me. Like, yeah, why else would a woman bargain away the lives of a town? Women be obsessed with their youth!

On top of that, it also doubled down on the Rubbery lore that I really hate. I kind of thought that the fact that Rubberies are constructs with no interiority or culture had been retconned, or at least allowed to fall to the wayside with the Tentacled Entrepreneur/Helicon House bringing focus to Rubbery art and music. And I was glad for it! So I didn't like that it was brought up again here, and in a way that came across as particularly colonialist. These beings, who are less than people, do not have any culture, and any they have acquired is only from association with a More Civilized people (in this case, Londoners), and this is viewed as a disgusting aberration by their close-minded rulers, is. um. Well. It Sure Is Huh.

2022

Best: Adornment

I would say that I'm a pretty well-known Masters Hater, so when I saw that the art for this one was Mr. Stones, I was like.... ugh. Great another one to pander to the Masters fuckers, the only audience that FBG cares to cater to.

I was wrong! I was very wrong. I mean, maybe I wasn't wrong, but I was being too negative. This was a really fun story, and I really really liked all the characters in it. A fun nonbinary anarchist criminal and a Quaker clay man? Were they writing this one for me exclusively? I even enjoyed Mr. Stones' presence in it!!! It was really fun. Anyway do you guys think Mica and the Smuggler ever explored each others bodies

Worst: Darnier Cri

(Spoilers)

You gotta do real bad to make me hate the story that's about Victorian fashion, a thing I love very much. You get asked to help a fashion house design their new collection, and eventually learn that the fashion house has been run by revolutionaries, using the inherent magical powers of Neathy fabrics to influence Surface politics (specifically to undermine the Transvaal Republic, which was an independent republic in what is now northeaster South Africa, in an attempt to drive the colonists out of Africa). It's newest investor is an agent of the Transvaal Republic, who is trying to destroy the fashion house.

I guess I would say that it's a... BOLD choice, to try to explicitly address colonialism in your alt-history adventure game where you can fuck a squid. I'm certainly not a "keep politics out of my video games" type person (I think art is inextricable from politics, and I talk about the politics of FL all the time) but I really don't think that FL is equipped to actually address this subject head-on. And, frankly, it's incredibly jarring, when the idea of anti-colonialism has never come up in the game before. I know there ARE colonies in the Neath, even one that you can be the governor of, but I would argue "the magical fantasy talking tigers seem to graciously tolerate your presence" is very different from "the European settlers in Africa think they are genetically superior to the native Africans." It's just kind of jarring!! And honestly, I don't think this game is really equipped to address it!!! It's just a little out of place. And on top of that, a lot of the language the villain uses to... uh. be racist, I guess, is also a lot of the same language the game uses around the Great Chain/Liberation of the Night, like talking about a "hierarchy of being" and people "knowing their place in the chain". Like... the implication of that allusion is that the fictional hierarchy that exists in Fallen London, that puts Judgements above Curators above Humans above Apes, is the same as... racism? Real world racism? So LoN is anti-racism? So anyone who doesn't support LoN... supports white supremacy? And if that WERE the case, then why would the game keep framing LoN as morally ambiguous? Do we not like anti-racism actually?

I don't think that was necessarily intentional, or at least, I don't think that's an implication that FBG meant to include with the Liberation, but I think it's pretty sloppy writing.

Also, I hated the ending choice. The clothing studio is on fire, and you can save one thing from it. Your options are: a unique clothing item, a different unique clothing item, or the garment you made to send to a high-ranking client on the Surface, that is intended to influence them to side with the Africans over the European colonists. Like... why. Do you want a special hat that you can only get by paying real money, or do you want a special coat that you can only get by paying real money, or do you want to end racism?

Baffling. And that's not even getting into the fact that it's been pretty well-established that the special Neathy fabrics lose their special qualities in the sunlight, so the entire premise of this story is either impossible or a huge retcon.

In Conclusion

if you're wondering how much I've spent on exceptional stories over the decade I've been playing this game... uh... no you're not!

[ventitititi]

Can i just take a minute to mourn my heritage.

Tw: colonization talks + those types of abuse

And this isn't to demean the struggle of poc today because i personally haven't faced it, I can't claim those struggles and i 100% think something needs to change, that they deserve rights, and education, and equality and fairness and all of the things i enjoy from being born white.

Its just to mourn my ancestors. For what they also had to go through, not to demean poc and say "woe is me, my people suffered historically."

Anyways, now that I've let you know about that.

I'm dominantly celtic, approximately 60% hailing from Scotland.

And it just saddens me to know that anything we've seen done to poc? The discrimination, the colonization, the slavery?

Its all been done and perfected on my own ancestors.

It saddens me that after literally over a thousand years of this, they began to give up. Began to accept and believe that they were "alien." "Barbaric."

I'm from two highlander specific families and have a more recent immigration date (my grandparents and great grandparents.)

But it breaks my heart knowing that they accepted being used as tools to colonize the Americas in the hopes that they themselves would be accepted.

That they'd become "more white" or whatever, become the norm.

We see so many texts showing how much higher the celtic mortality rates were in these battles simply because they were tools of war, weapons, barbaric, disposable in the eyes of the colonizers (ancient roman empire and later Britain)

We had a colorful culture but gave that up in the hopes of finally being granted a break (although I'm sure thats not 100% what it was, theres more than two sides when it comes to stories like these) and they weren't even granted that acceptedness.

They "weren't white" (as in, barbaric other or simply completely ignored) until the american colonization when they needed people to go there.

And even then they were considered different and alien.

Basically, i just mourn what could have been and want all the more to preserve other cultures simply because my own never had that chance, my ancestors had no allies or help against their oppression, had nobody to fight for their rights and no will to do so themselves after being abused themselves for so long.

And i want to remember my own and continue whats still strong in my family down the line because its important to me that i do.

And sometimes i get a little frustrated being told i wouldn't understand not because thats wrong, i 100% will never understand that type of abuse, but because the reason i won't is they succeeded at what they tried against others. I myself am the result of my ancestors past opression.

And i myself want to help make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else, even if I can't do a lot. I can stay supportive and spread news and sign petitions (and get my family+ friends to, as well)

Idk how to end this

I'm just so incredibly sad for my ancestors

[celeste-clearwater-06]

Hello! I was wondering if you could please write something about how the Fellowship (+ Thorin?) Would help a s/o who's Disabled and Chronically ill. Like she has a lot of symptoms like chronic pain, chronic fatigue, difficulty sleeping, difficulty breathing at times, difficulty walking at times, higher sensitivity to the cold, difficulty talking at times, and anxiety, depression and executive dysfunction?

I've been really struggling with my chronic illnesses lately, namely my Autism, Anxiety, Sleep Apnea, a really bad Overbite, Raynaud's Syndrome, Asthma, etc, so I'd really appreciate an Imagine like this. I have a really weird disorder where one of my legs is longer than the other, and it's been causing me a lot of pain and difficulty walking lately, and people have been bullying me for it a lot too, so I could really use a Comfort Imagine right now. Thanks so much hun!!

It's no problem! I'm glad I can provide some comfort!! For each character, I'll use a specific struggling area, to make it a bit easier!! I hope I got these accurate enough, and of there are any mistakes, feel free to point them out!! You are strong, beautiful and so, so amazing!! Keep being you!! ❤❤

Help (The Fellowship// Thorin x Fem!Reader)

Aragorn (Autism)

Aragorn has known you for a long time, so helping with your autism is not new for him

He's particularly experienced in reading your emotions and meeting your needs, whether it's helping you out of stressful situations or calming you down, he's there 🥺

If there are large and boisterous gatherings in Rivendell, its almost guaranteed that you can become over-stimulated quickly, and Aragorn immediately senses this (spidey senses õoõ)

He's fast to find your hand and give it a gentle squeeze of reassurance

If that doesn't seem to help, he'll instantly stop what he's doing and take you out of the room

If you're someone who prefers lots of space and little physical contact, he is 100% respectful of this and asks if you'll let him touch or hug you (very much gentleman 😌)

If ever you're confronted by someone of importance, Aragorn is right by your side to ease some of the tension

Sometimes there are things you find difficult to say or get out of your system

The king seems to know exactly what it is and will help you out by saying it or asking you simple questions that you can easily answer

And he always reminds you, no matter WHAT

YOU ARE NOT STUPID 😤😡

You may struggle with some parts of your life, but every day, he's constantly telling you that you're very intelligent and kind

His patience is unending and he'll never let you think down on yourself

Overall, Aragorn is always someone and reminding you that it's all going to be okay ❤❤

Legolas (Anxiety)

Most nights, Legolas keeps watch (since elves don't require much sleep) and notices that you jolt awake out of the random

Now, most of the Fellowship notices that you're usually awake and ready to go before anyone else

But Legolas is really the one to address you first

You were a bit nervous to explain, since you didn't want to worry him or the great of the fellowship, amount the other disadvantages you have

He gently encouraged you, and finally, you explained to him your sleep apnea

Yeah, he was very concerned

I mean, his blue eyes widened with terror when you told him that you could basically die in your sleep if you weren't attentive enough 🙃

Legolas, from now on, sleeps directly next to you, or keeps extra careful watch over you at night

Because he could NEVER see his precious mortal friend become injured... Or worse 🥺🥺❤

The other members had noticed a change in his behaviors towards you as well...

Gimli teased him whenever he caught Legolas giving you some extra lembas bread or offered to carry you 👉👈

You really tried to assure Legolas that it wasn't a big deal when you were awake, since you're aware of your breathing situation

But still 😤

Legolas will always bring you comfort and take great care of you, and that will NEVER CHANGE

Because he loves you very much ❤🦋

Frodo (Anxiety)

Frodo is familiar with the feeling of great anxiety, seeing he had a stress-free life while living in the Shire and suddenly was forced to carry a piece of jewelry all the way to giant ass volcano

It's easy for you two to comfort each other and seek refuge in thoughts and feelings ❤

He's not super comfortable with the thought of you having a panic attack though...

Only because he's never had one

It starts to give him a panic attack whenever you have one around him the first time 😳-

Any time you begin to breathe heavy or hyperventilate, halfling boy is hot at your heels, rubbing your back and reminding you to breathe gently

(So many hugs, if you're up for it)

After you calm down, he's constantly checking on you, asking if you need anything etc.

Really, he just wants to know if he can help 🥺

And even with the weight and stress of carrying the ring, Frodo manages to cheer you up somehow

Samwise (Asthma)

Sam has never had to deal with asthma once in his life

He's very nervous when the subject is brought, afraid it might trigger something inside of you 🥺👉👈

But you just chuckle, assure him that it's alright, and you have ways of keeping it under control

And now, he wants to know everything about it, just to have the awareness in case something happens

Sam just wants to protect you forever, and this was a great way for him to start

He constantly reminds Aragorn that you'll need breathing breaks and will convince Gandalf to let you ride on his horse

He'll scold Pip and Merry if they are trying to drag you around and be silly, because as he says

"You'll rouse him/her/them up! We can't have Y/N gettin injured!" 🤨😠

Sam is MOM

As always, he's very kind and always makes sure your needs are met ❤🥺

Pippin and Merry (Raynaud's Syndrome)

Very confused halfings 🤔

Also extremely concerned!

You were eating one of the lesser pleasurable nights

It was cold and rainy, and a fire couldn't be started, not to mention the quiet arguments of Aragorn and Gandalf in the nearby woods

And Pip's eyes widened when he saw the tips of your petite fingers begin to pale upon hearing Aragorn mention Orcs

"What's wrong with your hands?!" He squeaked, pointing towards your now white-colored fingertips

You hadn't even noticed, nor felt, considering they were numb anyways

Merry looked over his cousin's shoulder and his eyes also widened, not with fright, but wonder

They were both fascinated with your condition, convinced that you were casting some spell Gandalf showed you

Although you reassured them it was just an extremely frustrating inconvenience that you had, among other things

So from then on, the disastrobus duo did their best to keep you out of the cold (and stressful situations!!)

As a distraction, the pair will tell you great stories of the shire, doing little dances and skits that always cheer you up 🥴

Sometimes, they can be a little rambunctious though...

Merry will pick up on this fact quickly, and nudge Pippin to get him to calm down

Even though it may not feel the best

They find your syndrome absolutely fascinating!! 🤔🤔

All in all, these two are always up for keeping your beautiful smile on your face and your spirits high!! ❤🌺

Boromir (Depression)

Throughout the journey, Boromir has always found an easy way to make you smile

After all, he himself has a fascinating way of brightening anyone's spirits

Yours included ❤

Boromir may not have great stories from The Shire, like Pip and Merry, but he sure has a lot of positive things to say

He'll often suggest sparring with the two troublemaking halflings, just so you can see him goof up and get knocked over 🥺

If the nights become cold and weary, he'll give you a warm hug or a nudge on the shoulder

And a few words of helpful encouragement along the lines of;

"Don't fret Y/N. You have more strength than you'll ever know."

"Let our spirits never dampen! We've come this far!" 😊

He's also an incredible listener

Boromir wants to hear what you have to say if you ever need to rant or get something off of your chest

And don't think for a second that he would ever judge you 😤

Son of Gondor sees past all of your insecurities and knows you for your beautiful, amazing self ❤❤

Gimli (Walking disadvantages)

As you travel across great plains and mountains, your limp doesn't go unnoticed by Gimli

It may take him a while to open up about it, since he's afraid he might offend you in some way

And once he asks you, you inform him that it's a difficulty that unfortunately cannot be changed any time soon

And where you come from, lots of people tease and bully you about it

He did NOT handle it well 😳

"wHAT BLUBBERING DULL-MINDED PIGNUTS-" 🤬

Although this Dwarf is short and a bit slow at times

He's fascinatingly strong 😳

And so, he makes it his duty to be your designated carrier 🥺

At first, your a tad skeptical...

I mean, he's only around 4 feet tall...

BUT HAVE YOU SEEN HIM THROW THAT HUGE AX AROUND?!

Gimli will happily carry you great distances when you need a break, and even longer

(Sometimes it's just to show off around the others-)

"Gimli, are you sure you don't want a break?"

"Aye lass! The strength of Dwarves is unending!" 😌

*struggling to breathe*

11/10, fantastic dwarf, will never let you down!!

Thorin (Executive Dysfunction)

Another Dwarf??

Absolutely

Thorin himself has trouble keeping composure with his time management (and sense of direction 🙄)

This means that he'll have an undying amount of patience for you and you only

There's just something about you that he fond of, and it fills in that little sassy, brooding place in his heart

Can also relate to you whenever you grow frustrated at the setback of your journey or lack of sleep

Is 100% willing to help you find your lost belongings (and once again, ONLY YOU)

Thorin will literally make the whole traveling party stop so that you can put something in your bag and make sure that you put it somewhere you'll remember

Always happy to give you extra gentle reminders of keeping your pack closed

The company is utterly SHOCKED with how he treats you

I mean, this man has always been extremely stubborn and hard headed

But when you show up, it's another person he can easily relate and share frustrations with

Also a master at organization?!? 🤔

The one thing he could do successfully was organizing the damn journey and traveling company, so ofc he's gonna be good at that 😂

Yeah, Thorin definitely has a soft spot for you

King under the mountain will never run out of patience and kindness for you 😌💙

Sorry these took so long!! I hope you like them!! ❤❤

[virghogh]

Guessing NCT's rising signs: Huang Renjun as a Cancer rising

Welcome to my first post where I write all about why I think this idol is X rising sign! I don't know how many of these I'll do because it heavily depends on how confident I feel in my guess of their rising lol for Renjun's rising sign, it's something I've been sitting on for a loooong time just to see if anything else comes into my head. At the end of the day we really have no way to know for sure, even if the idols gives us their birth time it still has to be taken with a grain of salt! But it’s still fun theorize and to test your skills while learning at the same time. So for now I feel pretty confident sharing my thoughts on Renjun as a cancer rising.

Let’s ✨explore✨ why:

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧long post! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✦ Before I even decided to look up his chart layout, there were 2 characteristics of Renjun that initially led me to think he’s a Cancer rising. His eyes and his physique. His eyes aren’t necessarily as big as idols we’ve seen with moon in 1st, but they’re still very notable features of his physical appearance that he’s very well known for. They’re bigger, soft and dreamy, and sometimes look like he quite literally holds stars in his eyes. The biggest physical feature though is his, well, petite frame. Next to his eyes, renjun is also really well know for his smaller build. It’s even a well known inside joke amongst NCT, they all him “big shoulders renjun” (lol) because “for a guy” his shoulders a on the smaller side. Both of these physical attributes can also be identifying characteristics of cancer risings.

✦ So, in general I think he is a Cancer rising. But if we want to be more specific; I do think he is a 3rd decan Cancer rising which is the Pisces/Neptune ruled decan. I initially chose this because his house and planet placements just make so much more sense to me when the rising is in the 3rd decan (I'll get into that below), but after reading about the 3rd decan I also think it fits his personality really well! With the Neptune and Pisces influence, he's more on the open side of Cancer rising but more notably, 3rd decans are a lot more inclined to art/creativity and sometimes, music specifically. These people also have a very dreamy attraction about them. He also has his Venus trine ASC which can further add to this kind of creative vibe he gives off, but is also drawn to! It emphasizes the importance of aesthetics, art and creativity in his life. If you've never been on Renjun stan twt then you might not know that a lot of his fans see him as this incredibly dreamy and ethereal boy (as they should) and I can see why!

*:･ﾟ✧house and planet placements *:･ﾟ✧

Scorpio moon, Sagittarius Pluto in 5th:

✦ yea... just yes. Okay but actually, if you read my NCT Dream Hexaco x Birth Chart analyses, I talked a lot about his chart already because I really like it. As someone with a Scorpio moon, I can't help but be really interested in how his plays out. And I have to say, I am quite attached to this theory because I think his scorpio moon in 5th just. makes. sense. I'm not going to go much into the descriptions of the placements, I'm mostly going to stick to the house influence. We know that Scorpio moons have really intense emotions, they internalize everything and are just highly sensitive people to their environments. Renjun has been incredibly open about his mental and emotional struggles ever since being a kid. I've honestly never heard an idol talk about their struggle like he has. He even opened up recently about how a few years ago he had an art therapist that really helped him and lowkey changed his life. I feel like a lot of this can be reflected in his 5th house. The house of creativity, expression, creation. His 5th cusp is also in Scorpio. 5th house in water tend to be really drawn to arts and music. Having a Scorpio moon, a moon sign that can be quite guarded, in a fire house can also explain his readiness/openness to share his emotions and art. Also let's not forget his chart ruler is his Scorpio moon in 5th! What I've wrote above are big themes in his life, which we've seen.

✦ As for the Pluto in 5th. Because his 5th house is in Scorpio this would mean the 5th ruler is in 5th. I know it might not make sense at first because it's pluto and pluto is misunderstood. But it makes perfect sense to me. Pluto in 5th is a deeply passionate and creative placement. It bring so much energy to this house, and can even create a borderline obsession with themes of this house. With creating and expressing. But I could also see having this and his scorpio moon in this house bringing so much energy, it just kind of adds to the confusion and intensity of a scorpio moons emotions and processing abilities, like, emotionally overwhelming. Scorpio moons always need an outlet and they usually figure that out the hard way at some point in life. The outlet can vary based off the chart, his is without a doubt connected to his art; whatever that may be to him.

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Aquarius Uranus in 8th:

✦ This part is brief because it's more of like, additional details to what's already in his chart. Something that is really well known about Renjun too is how much he is into space and aliens and stuff like that. He, once again, has been very open about it lol on variety shows I've seen him light up every time its briefly mentioned and he'll comment on how much he finds that stuff interesting. The 8th house is weird, it can manifest in a lot of different ways. The biggest point here for me is that the house is in Aquarius with Uranus here. I know someone with this placement too and, while they're open minded to astrology and tarot etc. it's a bit more focused on logic. I can't say for sure because I don't know him, but he kind of strikes me as the kind of person that would fight to death over aliens existing, but draws the line at astrology lol. I actually do think he would be open to astrology and tarot, but he'd need the right introduction to it. Anyways, yea this placement to me explains a lot of his interest in space and things we don't understand. He's expressed his curiosity in it. I think a lot of this is coming from his Scorpio moon and Pisces mercury/venus which is why I think it's just additional support.

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Pisces Mercury/Venus in 9th:

✦ THIS HOUSE right here... so much to say. Firstly, Pisces in 9th is probably one of the main culprits for his creativity, deep thinking and curiosity in the world. And more importantly: his imagination. I've mentioned this a lot when I talk about renjun but, he's very well known for his creativity, but I want to make it clear that there is a distinction between creation and imagination. His imagination is truly... on another level. Well, planet actually since it's pisces! Again, amongst fans it's really well known his imagination is just so unqiue. This is less about the 9th house and more about the fact that he has 2 pisces placements but it still affects it lol. He's very open about his imagination and speaks about it so naturally. He shared his drawing of a bird, hybrid, thing? and how it's an animal that steals your dreams in your sleep. Anyways, Pisces in 9th aren't necessarily the travelers we'd see with an air or fire sign here, but they like to travel mentally. He's also talked about how he's just in general a very curious person and you can tell his thoughts probably travel far and wide in his down time.

✦ What's really interesting to me about this house is his mercury is here and Mercury in 9th is a very specific kind of placement. It almost always guarantees an interest and talent in learning languages. I don't know if languages are necessarily a passion for him but he definitely is interested and cares about learning language and other cultures. He also did pick up on Korean and English with ease. Which also reminds me that, he actually was exposed to Korean at a young age because I'm pretty sure he went to a bilingual school (chinese and korean). This is also a big deal to me because planets in 9th, especially sun/mercury often indicate very early exposure to languages or other cultures... so yea that checks out. This can also be proved by looking at his IC in Virgo, which puts the ruler in 9th. His mercury is also sextile Jupiter. I also wanna comment that he has his Mercury in the 5th degree, I'm not great at degree theory yet but that feels significant to me. Of course we cannot forget his absolutely angelic voice. Renjun is also very well known for his stunning vocals. Not only are Pisces placements musically inclined but Pisces mercury are known for their sweet voices.

✦ As for the venus is 9th, I feel like I have more to say on his venus being in Pisces because that's where so much of his artistic creativity and imagination come from. But venus here adds to a lot of what I've written above, adding to his curiosity of the world. What I find most interesting about venus in 9th though, is it brings another inclination to art! He might really like art from different places in the world, or just exploring all types of art being very open minded to its different forms etc. Venus here also brings ease to language learning, and these people will naturally have other cultures and people from them as a big part of their life. I feel like, in general it's not surprising at all to me that as a foreign member (being from China), that he would have 9th house influence! It can often manifest as like.., travel, other languages, cultures and parts of the world etc. are just very naturally a part of their life. Some people never really contemplate life overseas or in another country. But for 9th housers, it's never not been an option. His 9th house influence can also make him a great teacher, mentor and just overall supportive person. We've seen some of this in the content he's made with NCT. Like trying to teach his members chinese with Chenle, except he was taking it way more seriously lol but was so supportive. He's also tried to get Jeno and Jisung involved in his art making, but keeping the process very open and fun.

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Aries sun, Taurus mars in 10th:

✦ This is the last part I'm going to cover because it is really just the icing on the cake to finish this up. The 10th house is considered pretty important when looking at celebrities/idols because it's very likely a lot of what we see from them is their 10th house influence. In the chart model I'm using for Renjun, it puts his MC in the very last degrees of Pisces, so there's a chance it's in Aries but either way with his sun and mars here they are still playing a big role. So for that reason, I'm opting for Pisces MC. I also think Pisces MC fits though because first it puts the ruler in his 7th house. Meaning he could really benefit and work well in something that involves a group! Because it's Pisces in Neptune, it also adds to his very ethereal vibe and how people just seem to love him wherever he goes. He's very magnetic and can come off as artistic and sensitive. He's known for being dreamy, unreal, artistic, sensitive.

✦ Again, we know he has an aries sun and taurus mars so I'm not going to explain them here, just how they affect the house, but having his these here makes so much sense to me too. Having planets in 10th also influences what kind of "vibe" people get from you, and what you're "known" for. Mars and Sun bring similar energy of being well known for for energy, drive, and even stage presence. Not being afraid to be on stage, being good with attention and spotlight. He's known for his kind of playful and childish behavior at times. He is charismatic, bold, brave, happy and upbeat. With the sun, he is again known for his creativity and creations and also self-expression.

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Thank you to anyone who read all this. I don't really expect many people to because I'm mostly writing this for my own curiosity and to finally just put this theory out there! Anyways, stan Renjun best boy <33

Thoughts and feedback are always welcome <3

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[bestworstcase]

"[Rapunzel] stops accepting blame for things that aren’t her fault". I've seen this mentioned before on other blogs talking about Rapunzel's character growth over the series, but I don't understand what it's referring to. Sorry if this is too vague/broad an ask, but what are you thinking of in seasons 1 and 2 when you say that Rapunzel has learned to stop taking the blame for things that aren't her fault by season 3? Apart from Rapunzel's Enemy and maybe QFAD, I can't think of anything.

i think this is one of the more understated things about rapunzel’s characterization in that there is never like, a specific moment where rapunzel Verbalizes acceptance of blame for things she clearly isn’t responsible for, but it still imo informs a lot of her behavior?

and it goes all the way back to the film. right out of the gate we see that guilt tripping and blame passing are two of gothel’s chief weapons: when rapunzel’s feelings get hurt by one of gothel’s “jokes,” gothel chides rapunzel to “stop taking everything so seriously,” which is abuser-speak for “nothing i say is wrong, it’s your fault if you’re hurt.” 

then there’s digs like “oh, rapunzel, you know i hate leaving you after a fight—especially when i’ve done absolutely nothing wrong...” 

and the big one, after gothel loses her temper and yells at rapunzel, and then immediately collapses disconsolately into a chair and says “ugh, great—now i’m the bad guy.” overtly blaming rapunzel for “making” gothel snap at her. (this of course gets called back to at the end of the film, though it’s less a guilt trip there than it is a threat.)

aaaand right before “mother knows best (reprise)” when rapunzel asks how gothel found her, gothel says, “oh, it was easy, i just listened for the sound of complete and utter betrayal and followed that.” this one imo is the clearest illustration of how all this impacts rapunzel emotionally, because she goes from scared/alarmed/startled to just. sagging, in obvious guilt. 

but then of course there’s also the scene right after rapunzel leaves the tower, where we see her oscillating wildly from jubilance to despair and guilt as she frets over what her leaving will “do” to gothel, how mad / upset / betrayed gothel will feel, etc. so even when gothel isn’t there, actively reinforcing this behavior, we can see that rapunzel very much feels that gothel’s feelings are her responsibility—and if gothel is upset, that’s rapunzel’s fault. 

anyway!! all this adds up to rapunzel leaving the tower with this subconscious mindset that all problems are her problems, and we see this expressed very early on in s1. i would even argue as early as before ever after... with both frederic and eugene. 

BEA goes really hard right out of the gate with driving home how restless and uncomfortable rapunzel feels in corona; how stifled she is, and how badly she wants to go out and explore the wider world. but it also shows how hard she tries to stuff it down, because her success as a princess is “important to [her] dad.” she tries to bring up her discontent with eugene, but in a roundabout way so as to avoid actually saying she’s unhappy—and then when he says that he’s perfectly happy and content, rapunzel takes a deep breath and agrees with him. it isn’t overt text, but she’s still in “managing other people’s feelings” mode, and there’s a reason the only person she is honest about her own feelings with is cassandra—because cassandra signals very clearly that she is not going to feel hurt, offended, or disappointed if rapunzel is less than happy in corona. quite the opposite, cass is the one who suggests sneaking out in the first place!

now obviously, neither fred’s nor eugene’s feelings are rapunzel’s responsibility and i think both would be horrified to know that rapunzel feels like it’s her job to make them happy... but that doesn’t really matter, because rapunzel has been trained all her life to do this and that’s not a pattern that just goes away overnight. 

and then also in BEA, we see how quick rapunzel is to castigate herself for doing something that upsets someone else... when eugene proposes and she panics and runs away, her reaction is “i feel horrible about eugene” and to feel guilty/upset about not wanting to marry him Right Now.

aaaand of course caine blaming rapunzel for stuff frederic did goes entirely unremarked upon, partly because things like the hair reveal took priority over that but partly also, in my opinion, because rapunzel just kind of Accepted That because she’s so used to being blamed for everything.

this is sort of a recurring theme throughout a lot of s1. you mentioned RE, but for the sake of completeness—i think the most telling thing in that ep is that, when rapunzel finds out what booing really signifies, her first question is what could i have done to this person?, because the concept that this might be a HIM problem doesn’t even cross her mind. she assumes that it’s her fault he doesn’t like her. 

and then there’s stuff like pascal’s story, which i think is an interesting one because like... frankly, it’s not entirely rapunzel’s fault that she stood pascal up. yes, as the princess she could have stood up at six o’clock on the dot to say no more petitions, i am going to dinner. but also she’s the princess, and she’s busy, and pascal’s story is as much an episode about pascal learning that just because rapunzel is busy that doesn’t mean she doesn’t still love him as much as it is about rapunzel learning how to navigate work/life balance—but it’s also very clear that rapunzel’s perspective is “i have been a HORRIBLE friend and i need to put EVERYTHING ELSE on hold until i have FIXED my TERRIBLE BEHAVIOR” when the reality is more like “rapunzel and pascal are both going through a major adjustment period and need to have a realistic talk about expectations now that rapunzel is, like, training to rule a country.” 

in painter’s block, rapunzel feels so traumatized by the (largely correct) decisions she made in QFAD that she can’t make any decisions at all and falls prey to sugracha’s manipulation, and i personally think this is the beginning of the tipping point for her where she begins to see that hey... she’s just a person, she literally cannot be responsible for every bad thing that happens, she can’t be in two places at once, she can’t fix everything for everyone... and sometimes she needs to prioritize one problem over the other. that’s why the emotional climax of that episode is rapunzel saying “difficult choices are what make us who we are.” that’s her letting go of the horrific guilt she felt about choosing corona over varian, and letting eugene and the others put themselves in danger to save her parents. 

that epiphany carries her through SOTS and enables her to make the tough calls she needs to make re: stopping varian, but it also doesn’t mean that her tendency to blame herself for stuff that isn’t her fault goes away altogether. just look at BTCW: while she’s trying to make sense of how/why eugene could be marrying stalyan, her first instinct is to blame herself. to wonder if maybe this is a response to her kind of sort of turning down his kind of sort of second proposal. 

and the rest of the vardaros arc is like... i would say half rapunzel delaying moving on because she’s scared of what waits for her at the end of the black rock trail (as freebird confirms) and half rapunzel making vardaros’s problems her problems and trying to fix them because she feels responsible. 

curses is... not a good episode (canardist, why) but the plot basically hinges on canardist successfully making rapunzel feel guilty / dubious enough about taking back her own telescope that she starts buying into the curse stuff and psyching herself out. 

*as a sidebar here, there are also instances in this same period of rapunzel acknowledging her culpability in stuff she DID do wrong, for example in under raps—but in these cases, it’s interesting to me to note that her apologies actually aren’t very good apologies. in the under raps example, for instance, she also foists off blame on cassandra (saying basically, well i wouldn’t have interfered and put you in danger if you had told me everything, even though i am terrible at keeping secrets and we both know it). and this makes sense, because gothel certainly did not model good, healthy apologizing habits for rapunzel, lol. so she’s in this weird zone where she tends to feel guilty for everything / feels responsible for other people’s feelings but when she DOES mess up for realsies she also doesn’t really have the skills to navigate a true apology. this poor girl

i would say that RATGT is about the point where rapunzel switches gears from accepting blame (both for things that aren’t her fault, like all this stuff, and for things that are, like when she apologized to cass for being a dick in goodbye and goodwill or when she apologized to pascal for belittling him in king pascal) to sort of... overcorrecting and entering her “i’m right, you’re wrong” phase. RATGT is when she starts overtly shutting cass down, and RATGT is when cass’s injury happens—something so horrific and scary that i tend to think rapunzel just cannot process the guilt. it’s too much, too painful, and not something she is emotionally equipped to hold onto or work through in a healthy way...

...so she shoves it away and blames cass instead, very openly. she transmutes her guilt into anger, lessening the pain she feels. and she sticks to that throughout RDO, throughout the rest of s2, and evidently through the rest of the series given she literally never apologizes for it. which is outside of the scope of what you asked alksdfjklsfd but i tend to think basically, rapunzel is not very good at distinguishing between “i feel guilty, but it isn’t my fault” and “i feel guilty, because it is my fault” so in the process of unlearning the former behavior she also forces away the latter, and at the end of s3 she’s in a place where she needs to re-learn how to feel guilt in a healthy, reasonable way. because guilt isn’t always a bad emotion, sometimes it’s just your brain’s way of saying “i did something bad, and i want to make up for it” and That’s Good. 

[geeky-writes]

The Phoenix Project Chapter 12 Preview

Behind? Catch up HERE 😊

Gorgeous moodboard created by @crownofstardustandbone @therollingstonys thank you so much! 💖

********

“Oh, Pete’s a master tree climber,” said Tony. “You might wanna be careful though. It’s been so long since he’s been able to play outside that we might have our hands full trying to get him back in the house at the end of the day. You have not seen Pete’s puppy-dog eyes to the fullest extent of their pppllleeeaaassseee potential until you try to tell him that it’s time to come back into the house.”

Steve tipped his head back against the headrest, lolling it sideways to look at Tony. “Well, we could always just build him a treehouse. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind that.”

“Only when it'd be time to eat,” Tony said with a laugh. “You just better watch it, Captain, ‘cause once Pete gets all of his strength back, I swear that boy will be able to out-eat even you. I’ve never been able to figure out where he puts it all.”

“I am definitely looking forward to it,” said Steve. “I might even cook for us, if that’s okay?”

“Really?” Tony asked. “You know how to cook?” Because of course Mr Perfection himself would also know his way around a kitchen.

Steve gave a not-quite-modest shrug. “I’m actually not too bad at it. I did most of the cooking when I was growing up since Ma was always working so much.”

“Wow,” Tony said, his eyes wide. “So then, is there anything that you actually can’t do? ‘Cause I gotta admit I haven’t seen all that much evidence to the contrary, and—”

“Tony,” Steve said softly. “I’m not perfect.”

Tony winced. He had noticed lately that Steve had been finding Tony’s frequent jokes about his perfection less and less amusing, and so had been trying to cut back on them. But it’d been a lot harder than he’d thought since to him, Steve really was perfect.

“No, hon, I know that,” Tony murmured. “No one is. But as far as perfection goes, I’d say you're a lot closer to it than the rest of us.”

Steve pursed his lips. “I think a lot of it depends on who you ask,” he said. “And I also think that you just might be a little bit biased.”

Tony snorted, feeling some of the tension in his shoulders slowly seep away. “Oh, you think so?”

“Yes, I do,” Steve said with a wink, his hand sliding up Tony’s thigh just enough to send a sharp burst of warmth across Tony’s chest. “Call it an instinct.”

“Well,” Tony said, his voice cracking on the word. He cleared his throat, trying again. “Well, I have a feeling you might be right about that, Captain. But seeing as how I don’t think your ma would appreciate me sporting a raging hard on when you're trying to introduce us, we probably should put a stop to this kind of talk. Like, right now.”

With a downright evil grin, Steve leaned over, his lips brushing the shell of Tony’s ear as he whispered, “Just a temporary stop though, right, sweetheart?”

“Holy shit,” Tony whispered, shivering as desire shot down his spine like a spear. “You do realise that I’m trying to drive here, right?”

“Sorry,” murmured Steve, sounding anything but sorry. “I’ll leave you alone now.”

“Thank you,” Tony said with an exaggerated sigh. “But… only until we get back, right?”

Steve’s bright blue eyes darkened, his grin turning positively shit-eating.

“Oh, yeah.”

“Gods, you're incorrigible,” Tony rasped. “Like, seriously. I'm pretty sure I've created a monster.”

“Or maybe just unleashed one,” said Steve. He waggled his eyebrows, then somehow managed to school his features into a look of pure, boyish innocence in about three seconds flat. “Turn right at the next light, then it’s the third house on the left side.”

Tony’s gasp lodged in his throat as he made the turn, breathing in deeply through his nose as he tried to calm himself. For how inexperienced Steve might’ve been when they first got together, in the months since he had already more than made up for it, quite literally blowing Tony’s mind with his passion and attentiveness. Tony had always thought of himself as being a generous lover, but Steve was on a whole other level. He didn't only tell Tony that he loved him, he also showed him with every single caress of his hands and touch of his lips.

And Tony soaked up every single second of it, like an overly thirsty sponge.

“Here we are,” Steve said as Tony pulled into the cracked concrete driveway of a bluish-grey house that looked remarkably like his own, even down to the scraggly bushes lining either side of the front steps.

“I usually pay someone to come over and work on the landscaping, but the last kid I hired got accepted into the university and I haven’t been able to find anyone else yet,” Steve explained. He opened Tony’s car door, holding out his hand towards him. “Ma tries to do it on her own sometimes too, but she’s getting to the point now where she just can’t.”

“Well, once Pete gets better I’m sure he wouldn't mind helping her out,” said Tony. “If she wouldn't mind.”

“I can’t see why she would,” said Steve. He gave Tony a quick but encouraging smile as he reached for the doorbell. “Ready?”

“Yep,” Tony said. “Go for it.”

Despite his attempt at bravery, Tony couldn't help but flinch as he heard the doorbell echo inside the house, followed only a few seconds later by the sound of slowly approaching footsteps.

“Ma!” Steve exclaimed as soon as the door swung open. After guiding Tony inside he immediately held out his arms, drawing the petite, slender woman with greyishly-white hair into a careful hug. “You’re looking so beautiful today!”

“Ah, and you're just as much of a flatterer as your papa,” she said as Steve released her. She stepped back, her steel-blue eyes looking Tony up and down before offering her hand, her knuckles swollen and slightly bent with arthritis.

“Hello,” she said, clear and strong, her expression almost unreadable. “I’m Sarah Rogers.”

Tony cleared his throat, momentarily panicking. Was he supposed to shake her hand? Was he supposed to kiss it? Maybe he should’ve asked these kinds of questions before Steve rang the damn doorbell—

“Ma,” Steve said, cutting through the fog inside Tony’s mind. He curled his arm around Tony’s waist, giving him an almost imperceptible nod. “This is Tony.”

“Tony Stark,” Tony blurted, just on the off chance that Steve had somehow failed to mention his surname. He carefully grasped Sarah Rogers’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Rogers.”

Sarah pursed her lips as she shook Tony’s hand, her grip plenty firm despite her pained knuckles.

“Yes, I know who you are, Mr Stark,” she said. “I've known who you are for most of your life.”

“Uhh,” Tony stammered, his blood running cold even as Steve’s arm tightened around him. “Yeah, well—”

“And what I also know,” she continued. “Is that the sins of a father should never be passed along to his son.” She glanced up at Steve, her eyes softening slightly. “And I also know that I’ve never seen my son so happy in his entire life, which he assures me is entirely the doing of both yourself and a certain young man with whom I’ll be shortly making my acquaintance.”

“That’s absolutely right, Ma,” Steve said.

“Yes, I can see that,” said Sarah. She released Tony’s hand and stepped back, gesturing towards her living room. “Please, come in, Mr Stark.”

“Tony,” Tony said. “Please, ma’am, if you don't mind, call me Tony.”

Sarah smiled, a bright smile that was so like Steve’s that Tony nearly did a double-take. “Tony,” she said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

The full chapter will post on Monday, June 15th 😊

[queenmylovely]

congratulations on 800 love!! idk if you write for lucy (if you don't you can just write for rog or ben instead, whatever you prefer) but i've had this idea in my mind for weeks now about going on a date with lucy for the first time (i'm thinking dinner? even though it's super cliche lmao) and it's like super romantic and intimate 🥺 maybe you could make this a blurb or hc? 🤭

Oh my gosh, yes I write for Lucy! At least, I do now as this is the first thing I’ve written for her. The concept is not cliche, it’s perfect and this made me so soft, thanks for sending it in 💖 (under the cut cause it’s 1.5k, just fluff)

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💖💖💖

Getting out of your uber, you smoothed down your dress and exhaled slowly to calm the nerves you were feeling. The nerves were due to the fact that you were going on your first date with a friend of a friend, Lucy. But the excitement you felt overpowered the nerves. You had already met her once before, at a dinner party at your mutual friend, Gwil’s place. The two of you had instantly caught each other’s eye and made flirty eye contact from either end of the table all night. By the time everyone was leaving, you had worked up the courage to ask for her number and had made plans for the next weekend.

You were walking to the doors of the restaurant, wondering whether Lucy was already inside or if she was still on her way. The latter seemed to be true when you looked around the waiting area and didn’t see her. There was a short line leading to the host station so you went to the end and stood there, glancing at your watch to see that you were exactly two minutes early.

Standing there, you looked around the restaurant and were pleased that you had told Lucy to choose where you went since it looked very nice; the perfect ambience and atmosphere. You were only there for about a minute when you heard your name.

Turning, you saw Lucy walking over to you and smiled brightly to match hers. She came up next to you, scooting past the person in line behind you and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek.

“Have you been waiting long?” she asked, adjusting her purse on her shoulder. Then she looked at you expectantly.

You realized you had just been staring at her, admiring the way her hair framed her face perfectly, the flattering cut of her dress and how she was just a tad taller than you in her heels. Smiling sheepishly you told her, “No, just a minute. You look beautiful by the way.”

Lucy smiled, looking at you happily as her cheeks became a very cute shade of pink, “Thank you, so do you.”

By then, you were at the front of the line and Lucy relayed the reservation information, then the host took you to your table. You sat down across from each other and then started to look at the menu.

“I know we literally just started looking, but do you have an idea of what you want? They have a great red or white if you want to pair it with your meal,” Lucy offered and you grimaced a little. Lucy joked, “What, am I being too controlling?”

“No, not at all. I just don’t like wine,” you said with a laugh.

“Oh, thinking back I do remember you having a G&T instead of Gwil’s rosé,” Lucy replied with a knowing look. “Is that your go-to?”

“Well it’s what most people have stuff for,” you answered. “But I’ll go for a mojito if I can. Like I think I’m gonna go with this peach one.”

“Ooo that looks good,” Lucy said, looking on her menu where you were pointing. “I think I’ll join you.”

A few minutes later, you had your drinks and had ordered your food. The two of you were chatting about work and upcoming projects. Lucy was happy to answer your questions about the films and shows she was working on, but was happier hearing about your job.

“Wow, as someone who’s always just working with someone else’s ideas, it’s wild to me that you actually create everything you do,” she said, her eyes wide.

“Well, we have a group that works on every project, but yeah, a lot of what I do is on my own,” you amended, feeling a rush of pride for what you did based on Lucy’s interest. “But acting definitely takes a bit of creativity, right? Like you have to decide how you’re going to do things.”

“That’s true,” Lucy said with a nod, “You seem to understand a lot of it for someone who said she didn’t ever do any acting.”

“I may have never done any formal acting, nor do I want to,” you shook your head, “However, I’ve been running lines with Gwil since the first year of uni.”

Lucy burst into laughter and you laughed with her but found yourself feeling an inexplicable amount of adoration for her as you did.

“Tell me,” she said with a conspiratorial look and through a few giggles. She leaned closer, her voice getting softer and the scent of her perfume growing stronger, “Has he always been this… pretentious?”

You looked at her in excited shock, reaching over and touching her arm, “Oh my gosh, you think so too?”

She let out a relieved laugh, quickly looking down at your hand, “Yes, but I swear no one else sees it!”

“It’s his ability to charm the shit out of everybody he meets. Never really worked on me though, as much as I love him,” you admitted, lifting your hand to gesture to yourself.

“No, me neither,” Lucy agreed, looking at you so intently that your heartbeat sped up.

“Let’s just say that his 20 minute spiel about the rosé was a repeat performance from one in uni, only then the bottle was worth $8 instead of $35,” you said with a smirk.

Lucy’s face broke into a smile as she laughed, her eyes sparkling. She hit your shoulder lightly, “You’re so bad!” but the look on her face told you she thought anything but.

Half an hour later, the food was eaten and you were looking at the dessert menu together.

“Okay, but the real question is do you like lemons? Because they have an amazing lemon soufflé with a raspberry sauce that is to die for,” Lucy suggested hopefully.

“Sounds perfect,” you told her with a smile.

When the dessert came, you dug into it together, and Lucy tried to ignore the bolt of heat that went through her when you moaned at the taste.

“This is so fucking good,” you said through a half-full mouth and Lucy chuckled. You swallowed your bite and continued, “You know, you have incredible taste. This restaurant, your outfit, this dessert!”

“You,” she added and you felt your cheeks heat up at the compliment, shoving another bite of raspberry covered lemony dessert into your mouth to keep you from saying something dumb.

The two of you continued eating and chatting, playfully using your spoons to fight for the best bites. As she smiled and laughed yet again you felt yourself stumble further down the path of falling in love with her already.

When the check came, you told her that since you were the one that had asked her out you were going to pay and if she wanted to pay then she’d just have to ask you out another time. She looked determined when she said she would.

Since neither of you had driven, you decided to share a car. It allowed for you to sit closer together than any other point in the evening, with your hands resting next to each other’s on the seat and your pinkies brushing together.

You took turns pointing out different things like good restaurants, a hidden shop full of local artist’s work, and eventually just random places you had been as an excuse to lean closer to the other.

The car arrived at your place first since it was closer to the restaurant and Lucy offered to walk you to your door. As you climbed out and fished for your keys, she leaned in the window and told the driver to wait.

She went with you to the entrance of the building and the two of you stood a little to the side to be out of the way.

“I had a really good time tonight,” you said with a soft smile.

“Me too,” Lucy told you. “You’re a great first date. And I’m sure you’ll be an even better second one.”  

Your smile grew, already excited for more.

“And you’re so cute,” Lucy added, unable to help herself when you smiled.

You were about to compliment her as well when she leaned forward and kissed you. Her lips were soft and warm and when you didn’t pull away, she brought her right hand to your waist and her left to your cheek to keep you close. Feeling her tongue slide along your lower lip, you opened your mouth for her and brought your left hand to her shoulder and your right one to hold hers in place.

Sighing into the kiss, you enjoyed what you hoped was the first of many, many kisses to come. After a minute, you pulled back and her lips followed yours so you pressed another quick kiss to them.

“The car’s still waiting,” you pointed out.

Lucy blushed, “Oh right, I should--”

“Tell them to leave and then come in with me,” you said, looking at her suggestively.

Lucy was surprised that you were being so forward, but as surprised as she was, she loved it even more and nodded quickly.

“I’ll go do that. Be right back,” she told you, sneaking another little kiss before she turned and rushed down the path back to the car.

You saw the driver shift into gear and start to drive away as Lucy looked back and smiled at you. She was back next to you in a moment, and she grabbed your hand as you unlocked the door with the other.

💖💖💖

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[venii-vidii-vicii]

Hey I hope this isn't sudden but I found you through the DE Reddit (seen you around insta too) and thought I would drop my qustions tp you here. 1) what kind of guys do you think Glen likes? 2) if the Hardies seem cool with Glen being gay, why is he still in the closet? 3) what the fuck is wrong with Glen? 4) what's your favorite thing about him? I'm genuinely curious cause I've never seen a background character get this much attention before. Sorry for the multi-questions.

I'm sorry anon but I'm about to drop a long post on you 😔 I just have so many feelings for that man, it's unbelievable.

1) Titus Hardie

That's it.

Jk jk. Idk I kind of see Glen with dudes who are also burly and buff but I also see him with v soft boys. I mean the way the game describes Titus and Glen is that they're basically big buff giants who tower over everyone else, right?

From a psychological aspect I would have to say he probably leans more towards the petite guys because that makes him feel like "The Man" which is the big psychological issue he seems to have in the game. He wants to be a macho guy; He wants to be the dominant one, the strong one, the big guy so that his manliness doesn't get questioned. I can only hypothesize that in his head, being with smaller more feminine men gives him the satisfaction of being the top dog.

Generally though.... Just give him ALLLLLL THE DUDES!!!

2) I don't think anyone actually knows Glen is gay except Titus (and most likely Ruby) as Alain makes a comment about how Ruby likes bo0o0bies more than him. Plus Titus tries to hint it rather than just full on out Glen. He glanced at Glen when he says "some are queerer than others" but no one seems to comment, it either went over their heads (like it did with a lot of players) or they just chose not to say anything out of respect for their bro's privacy in front of stranger cops.

Personally I think some of the Hardie boys are smart enough to already know like Eugene. Alain might know but made the comment as a joke like "she likes tits more than u cuz you're gay lmao" u know?

But seeing the stance Revachol has with LGBTs, I think it's safe to assume that Glen just has too much to lose if he came out. He would most likely be kicked out of the rugby team, and He probably believes that he will lose the Hardies respect.

Again this leads back to his "big man" problem. Media and people in general seem to associate being gay with being feminine or that every gay guy likes to wear make up and dress like a woman. These ideas will stick to Glen and he doesn't wanna be associated with them. He doesn't want to be seen as less of a man.

He doesn't want to be a joke to people.

There's just so much at stake here for him to come out.

After all, the homosexual "UNDERGROUND" is an underground for a reason. They're not welcomed in the surface world.

He has a couple of good things in his life and he could lose everything over night just cuz he decided to tell the world who he really was.

Imagine going from hanging out with your friends every night, being a sport star, getting free beer... to just being alone in your room every day, losing people's respect, your job, losing everything. Not to mention the way others will treat you.

If you were depressed while you still had everything, imagine what it would be like to be depressed and have nothing.

It's tough.

3) a lot.

I can only answer this with my own psychoanalysis of Glen's character with little canon proof so take it with a grain of salt.

I think Glen grew up in a very shitty household with probably an abusive parent(s). The macho manly problem he has probably stemmed from his parent(s) drilling this idea into his head that he has to be a man. His parent(s) might have been close minded homophobes which resulted in Glen just fighting that part of him because he "knows" it's wrong and he shouldn't be feeling romantic things for other men.

Having abusive parent(s) would also explain why Glen is so violent, aggressive, and sadistic. This violence is all he knows and not to mention, being strong is associated with being masculine and manly.

Power makes you a man.

His physical strength is probably an overcompensation for his repressed homosexuality.

He suffers heavily from toxic masculinity and it has really fucked him up.

Of course having to live this way brought a ton more problems. Depression, self loathing, all the shit he tries to numb with beer.

Tbh I think Glen is a bit too hard on himself but it's not easy so I relate to how he feels.

4) my favorite thing about him is how stupid he is. He doesn't understand sarcasm, thinks a fiddle is something gay, and all the repressed homosexual shit he says. My god, he's so fucking stupid it's funny. I love him!

I also admire his strength. Choosing to keep going even after all the fucking shit he has going, it takes a lot of strength. The thought that he even joins the Hardie boys and not goes off to be a psychopathic serial killer is very nice. He might seem fucked up but at least he chose to use his fists for good.

There's still, in his fucked up shattered mind, a desire to be good. To do good. To help save a city that would never accept him. I admire that so much.

He's not a good person, but he's not a bad person. He's literally just human. He's trying to get by in a really shitty place and he wants to help others get by too.

He even shows sympathy sometimes. It's the little stuff that makes me think that he's not completely fucked just yet. There's still enough pieces of him to put his shattered self back together.

(Well had his end been different of course)

TLDR; he likes all dudes, has too much to lose, mommy and daddy issues, and he's dumb but has a good heart.

[dreamydiscero]

Please, Can anyone help?

I’m so exhausted. Idk what else to say but that I’m desperate at this point. I’m seriously close to convincing myself that my life is just not worth living. I've had to move back home with my parents due to my disability and being laid off from what little job I did have. I was working a place that was somewhat sensitive to my needs as a person with lupus and liver disease but was “laid off” during slow season and since I was under the table there isn’t any unemployment or severance coming. I’ve applied for disability benefits but anybody who has them or has tried to get them knows that it takes time, a good amount of time, time that I just don’t have right now.

I’ve been forced to move back home into a place where I’m not at all welcome and made to feel as such by my extremely abusive stepfather. I literally cannot go one day without being reminded that I am not wanted here and simply am on borrowed time.

So here’s my desperate cry for help, I’m really, seriously embarrassed that it has come to posting this. I feel like I don’t deserve any help from anyone but without some sort of assistance things just won’t get any better for me. My transportation to doctor’s offices and any funds I had for my medications are officially gone without my job. I’m just scraping by eating each day, but only since I get food assistance and visit the local food pantry when I can get a ride there. All of my physical therapy and all of my meds including my medications for lupus AND for my poor mental health condition all require copays that I no longer have. From here, it’s only going to get worse. PLEASE, if you are financially comfortable and able to provide even the cost of filling just one prescription or for one gallon of gas, I could use all the help and kind gestures I can get right now.

I don’t possess many profitable skills but I do read tarot cards well and I’m happy to provide readings for anybody who would be willing to help. Please please please help me get through this difficult time. I was raised to never ask for help, but I can’t survive on my own without some sort of assistance right now. If you know me, then you know that I give my all, and every last bit of what I have to those who need it, regardless of if they deserve it or not. I had hoped that good karma would return something for me to help ends meet while I am down and out, but it feels I’m waiting for something that just isn’t going to happen and my friends on here tell me I should go to my followers. I’m sorry… this sounds so pathetic and I fought posting this for almost a week now. I’ve been making calls to local agencies and setting meetings with social workers but it seems most of the resources in my area are exclusively for people with children or people who are 100% homeless, and I am neither.

Anything helps at this point, your reblogs and encouraging words included. Just please  PLEASE no hate comments…this is embarrassing for me as it is and I feel worthless enough without you reminding me of it. Trust me, any horrible thing you could possibly say to me, is something I’ve most likely already told myself ten times just today. The only service I can use right now is Venmo since all my credit cards are past due and my bank accounts are both in overdraft. I’ve sold EVERYTHING of value to me or anybody else, and I’m to the point where I don’t even have a phone anymore. I’m posting this from the public library right now - the only place I can access the internet since all my devices were sold to pay off student loans and medical bills.

My Venmo is @whimsicalwitchbitch 

Thank you, and may whatever god/goddess, if any, that you worship shed light upon you. I wouldn’t wish this on anybody. Living in poverty is one of the most difficult things I have ever faced. Please, if you cannot help, at minimum sign a petition or volunteer in your area to help other people in poverty. We need all the assistance we can get. You can all make a difference!