#but i was waiting until the december story came out

[irrigos]

Irrigo's Best and Worst Exceptional Stories from Every Year

This is going to be incredibly long. Should I have split this up into several posts? Perhaps. But I didn't. Anyway here's my extremely subjective opinions that may or may not match up with the subreddit's yearly survey. This post is long and has some spoilers, but I've tried to mention them only when necessary and labeled which little blurbs have spoilers in them.

2015

Best: Cut With Moonlight

I can say this very confidently now that I've played many many too many Exceptional Stories: a lot of them really fumble the ending. So, the fact that Cut With Moonlight has a good twist I wasn't expecting, and ties the ending back into the beginning of the story is what makes it a (haha) cut above the rest

Worst: Flint

There are lots of people who like Flint, and that's not illegal (despite my many petitions to the government), so I just have to accept it. I played it when it came out, and liked it at the time, even though I couldn't really grasp what was happening! I thought it was just because AK's writing was too deep and poetic for my simple mind, but now that I'm no longer a teenager, I think maybe he might just be a bad writer? Playing it now (when it's not split in half with a month between) it's way too goddamn long, it's really boring, I don't know why he made it canon that the Mountain of Light experienced sexual violence when she's literally a pile of rocks, and also the fatphobia in it really started to get to me. Like, I get it. The Imperturbable Patroness is big, but it felt like her size was brought up constantly. It might just be me, and other people maybe wouldn't have gotten this impression, but when I played it last, it felt like every sentence about her was like, "She heaves her huge body, holding a knife in her meaty fist, and stomps her big feet on the ground, and looks at you fatly"

Honestly, I would recommend this ES if you want to remind yourself why we're glad AK is gone.

2016

Best: Five Minutes to Midday

Are there better, more compelling stories, with more variance in the choices you could make? Perhaps. But this is MY list, and I'M in love with the Subdued Protestor. This one was extremely in character for my PC, and also particularly timely (I think when it happened, Morgan had just lost their soul), and the Protestor was sooooooo big and handsome and I love him. He's my best friend, my homeboy, my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good time boy. I really don't have much more to say than that!

Worst: A Waltz to Move the World

(Spoilers)

This one's complicated! There's a lot to like about it. I like that it has a soundtrack! I like that it's got cool Great Game stuff! In isolation, I like the idea of helping a woman reconcile with her father! But... I just can't escape the fact that the story expects you to have a lot of sympathy for this guy whose problem is he's so sad about the time he murdered his wife. Also- was any of the lore about The Old Man and the Winter in Vienna ever followed up on, or has it been mostly dropped? I don't remember. Someone who knows more lore than me might know, and I frankly don't care enough to check.

2017

Best: HOJOTOHO!

This one is one that is widely loved, and yeah, it deserves it! I don't actually have too much to say about it. Who doesn't love hanging out with some weird little kids? Having a little girl see an opera, latch onto a part of it, and just immediately be like "THIS IS ME NOW" is so accurate. Also, the final choice in this one was really tough for me! It was a doozy!

Worst: The Clay Man's Arm

I've written about The Clay Man's Arm already, so I almost wanted to pick something else for worst, just so I'd have something new to say. But how could I pick anything else! This is my least favorite story I've ever played in Fallen London. There are others that I think are worse in construction or morals or metaphorical implications, but I have not found a single one of them to be as repulsive. You couldn't pay me to play this one again.

2018

Best: For All The Saints Who from Their Labours Rest

(Spoilers)

Everyone knows I love Church and Hell stuff. And if you don't, you should! I'm the one who made them put the Bishop of Southwark in Mask of the Rose, because he's my special favorite! That said, I can't say I really loved this one as much as some of the other "best"s. I mean, I got some got Reggie moments, so that's good. But... I don't know. I was excited about there being a sexy priest, but sadly the Intrepid Deacon is EXTREMELY not my type (my type is.. well! Reggie! not little baby men who've never done nothing to nobody!). Also... well I'm not quite sure how to express this, but I think it's really weird that the end of this one basically confirms that Lucifer is... real? That he's one of the fallen princes of Hell, or something? Possibly implied that the Christian God is a Judgement? idk it rubs me the wrong way to have a religion confirmed true or false within the fictional universe. So, while I think this one is the best of the year, I can't say I don't have some pretty hefty problems with it. Also I always get the name wrong

Worst: Factory of Favours

I already wrote about this one here, but the important thing is, it's boring. There's really not too much more to say- you do a series of boring actions to achieve dull goals for NPCs who I wouldn't even say rise to the level of being actual "characters", and then it's over and you go home. It has all the substance and style of a dinner consisting of a single sheet of blank paper.

2019

Best: Cricket, Anyone?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all know it's the best one. Everyone says it's the best one. I'm so filled with spite I wanted to be super contrarian and pick a different one, but I can't. It's so fun, you guys. The lore reveals in it are cool (and it's important when an ES doesn't make me resent the presence of a Master- I do not enjoy those guys!), and the plot is exciting, the mechanics work really well, but in my opinion, the most important thing about Cricket, Anyone? is this: it's funny. There are points in FL where you can really smell the influence of Terry Pratchett, but they never manage to actually emulate him (turns out, when you try to combine Terry Pratchett, TS Eliot, GK Chesterton, and Jorge Luis Borges, you just get like... Neil Gaiman. And nobody wants that!). I love Pratchett's humor, so Groover capturing that, and actually delivering on the "hilarious" part of the "dark and hilarious Gothic underworld" that's advertised on the log-in page was really exceptional to me.

Worst: The Stag & The Shark

(spoilers)

2019 was actually a really good year for Exceptional Stories, and I had a hard time picking a Worst one. The Stag & The Shark was well-constructed, and I wouldn't say there was anything really wrong with it! I just wasn't really invested in the characters and I didn't care about any of their goals. The titular Young Stag wants to kill a Bound Shark because he think it will prove that he's cool, his dad wants his son to be safe and also stop being so fucking weird, and the fisherwoman whose boat you're on wants to recruit the Young Stag to the New Sequence. I don't really care about some rich kid wanting to fit in with the Young Stags, I don't care about his dad, and I also think the New Sequence sucks, so I don't care about them achieving their goals either!

2020

Best: Go Tell the King of Cats

Okay, you need to know one thing about me: I'm a cat guy. Also, a Cats guy. It's a good musical. And auxiliary to both of those: I love stories about old and busted bastard people. So this one was basically made for me. I don't want to talk much more about it, because I really think you should play it, especially if you like a story about an old bastard man (who is also a cat) trying to get a second chance. I teared up at the end.

Worst: The Dilettante's Debut

(spoilers)

uuuguughghguhgughguhghghghhhhhhh. Okay, the thing about The Dilettante's Debut is that I wanted to like it. I always want to like Exceptional Stories! I like it when things are good! But the ending on this one is.... god. It's bad. So you're trying to help the Dilettante restore the reputation of the Fairfax family, and also show up his cousin (the Wild-Eyed Socialite). I'm on board with this! I can do this! I generally don't see the point in undermining the people who hired me, so I didn't work against the Dilettante for the majority of the story...

... and then it turned out the final goal of the Dilettante's Footman was to use shapeling arts to mutate the Socialite into a Starved Man. If you agree to help him with this, in the end, you're told she's been put in a sanitarium. This is possibly (probably) a lie, but also... I mean, I'm supposed to mutilate this woman's body without her consent, and then banish her to either the Roof (most likely), or genuinely a sanitarium, a place where women were frequently abused, and for what? Because she drinks too much? She's successful and the Dilettante isn't? She's kind of rude to him?

I refused to help the footman, but then I didn't have enough cache with the Socialite to decent ending, so it felt like I was being punished for being loyal to the guy who hired me (because I didn't really have much reason to betray him) until he was going to commit and atrocity. I was either supposed to betray him for no reason earlier, or stick with the atrocity, and both are bad.

Anyway, it felt like Unto Dust (the story two months later) was trying to do something similar to The Dilettante's Debut, but it did it way better.

Anyway, it felt like Unto Dust did "last scion of a noble house dealing with his grandparent's legacy" way better two months later

2021

Best: The Tempest

Between this story and HOJOTOHO!, Fallen London really is the only game that I've ever played that truly understands little girls. The Tempestuous Urchin is pissed the fuck off about her lot in life, and she's right to be! And I just really enjoyed a story about how powerful anger can be, both to let go of AND to utilize. I just feel like you don't really see that a lot, and I really liked it.

Worst: For A Dream of Innocence

(spoilers)

I've talked about this one before, way back when it came out, but short version is: this one had a lot of errors, the story was unfocused, and I thought that it had some really Troubling implications.

The long version is: There were a lot of typos, or times when it referred to a character with the wrong pronouns. It seemed to have three different ideas, any of which would have been a decent ES in itself (a rogue French spy, making a new life in a vat, an enclave of Rubberies living under a bridge), but because they're all crammed together, none of them really seemed to pay off, and it just felt like the story wasn't really ABOUT anything.

And then the Troubling Implications.... first of all, the Abbess's motivations for being duplicitous and manipulative is that she's old and wants to be young and hot again, which... I mean it's possible for a person to want that, but it just seems kind of misogynistic to me. Like, yeah, why else would a woman bargain away the lives of a town? Women be obsessed with their youth!

On top of that, it also doubled down on the Rubbery lore that I really hate. I kind of thought that the fact that Rubberies are constructs with no interiority or culture had been retconned, or at least allowed to fall to the wayside with the Tentacled Entrepreneur/Helicon House bringing focus to Rubbery art and music. And I was glad for it! So I didn't like that it was brought up again here, and in a way that came across as particularly colonialist. These beings, who are less than people, do not have any culture, and any they have acquired is only from association with a More Civilized people (in this case, Londoners), and this is viewed as a disgusting aberration by their close-minded rulers, is. um. Well. It Sure Is Huh.

2022

Best: Adornment

I would say that I'm a pretty well-known Masters Hater, so when I saw that the art for this one was Mr. Stones, I was like.... ugh. Great another one to pander to the Masters fuckers, the only audience that FBG cares to cater to.

I was wrong! I was very wrong. I mean, maybe I wasn't wrong, but I was being too negative. This was a really fun story, and I really really liked all the characters in it. A fun nonbinary anarchist criminal and a Quaker clay man? Were they writing this one for me exclusively? I even enjoyed Mr. Stones' presence in it!!! It was really fun. Anyway do you guys think Mica and the Smuggler ever explored each others bodies

Worst: Darnier Cri

(Spoilers)

You gotta do real bad to make me hate the story that's about Victorian fashion, a thing I love very much. You get asked to help a fashion house design their new collection, and eventually learn that the fashion house has been run by revolutionaries, using the inherent magical powers of Neathy fabrics to influence Surface politics (specifically to undermine the Transvaal Republic, which was an independent republic in what is now northeaster South Africa, in an attempt to drive the colonists out of Africa). It's newest investor is an agent of the Transvaal Republic, who is trying to destroy the fashion house.

I guess I would say that it's a... BOLD choice, to try to explicitly address colonialism in your alt-history adventure game where you can fuck a squid. I'm certainly not a "keep politics out of my video games" type person (I think art is inextricable from politics, and I talk about the politics of FL all the time) but I really don't think that FL is equipped to actually address this subject head-on. And, frankly, it's incredibly jarring, when the idea of anti-colonialism has never come up in the game before. I know there ARE colonies in the Neath, even one that you can be the governor of, but I would argue "the magical fantasy talking tigers seem to graciously tolerate your presence" is very different from "the European settlers in Africa think they are genetically superior to the native Africans." It's just kind of jarring!! And honestly, I don't think this game is really equipped to address it!!! It's just a little out of place. And on top of that, a lot of the language the villain uses to... uh. be racist, I guess, is also a lot of the same language the game uses around the Great Chain/Liberation of the Night, like talking about a "hierarchy of being" and people "knowing their place in the chain". Like... the implication of that allusion is that the fictional hierarchy that exists in Fallen London, that puts Judgements above Curators above Humans above Apes, is the same as... racism? Real world racism? So LoN is anti-racism? So anyone who doesn't support LoN... supports white supremacy? And if that WERE the case, then why would the game keep framing LoN as morally ambiguous? Do we not like anti-racism actually?

I don't think that was necessarily intentional, or at least, I don't think that's an implication that FBG meant to include with the Liberation, but I think it's pretty sloppy writing.

Also, I hated the ending choice. The clothing studio is on fire, and you can save one thing from it. Your options are: a unique clothing item, a different unique clothing item, or the garment you made to send to a high-ranking client on the Surface, that is intended to influence them to side with the Africans over the European colonists. Like... why. Do you want a special hat that you can only get by paying real money, or do you want a special coat that you can only get by paying real money, or do you want to end racism?

Baffling. And that's not even getting into the fact that it's been pretty well-established that the special Neathy fabrics lose their special qualities in the sunlight, so the entire premise of this story is either impossible or a huge retcon.

In Conclusion

if you're wondering how much I've spent on exceptional stories over the decade I've been playing this game... uh... no you're not!

[reinainaric]

I said "I love you."

you say nothing back

Falling in love with Gojo Satoru was as easy as reading the pages of your favorite book, not until you reached the very end of the chapter and the author just loves to twist the story.

contents: it was all a bet trope, angst lol, fluff, hurt!gojo, groveling, satoru gojo x fem!reader, college AU, playboy!gojo, comfort

credits to @/toOOfu for the art above!! ^^

***

September 1, 2023

"She looks like an easy target," Satoru chuckled as he watched you walk over to your friend, Utahime Iori, in the school cafeteria. It was one of those days when he would joke with Suguru and Shoko, with Suguru always making sure Satoru gets riled up by his joke.

Suguru simply told Satoru that girls may swoon over him, but he's sure that they're some others who probably would find him annoying, someone like you. That statement made Satoru cocky, and as prideful as he was, he made it into a bet that he'll make sure to make you fall in love with him by the end of December, enough time to swoon you over.

"We'll see about that, Satoru." Suguru smirked. "The end of December, you say?"

The latter nodded his head, a wide and annoying grin on his face. "Watch and you'll see, Suguru."

The catch? Nothing, just plain fun and feeding his ego.

"Satoru!" Oh, and here comes one of his girls. His flings.

September 2, 2023

Satoru wastes no time. The next day after making their bet, he quickly made advances towards you. After seeing you in the lockers first thing in the morning, he walked over and leaned to the locker right next to yours. And when you turned, you found him there with a smirk on his face.

"Hey, darling..." He said, almost seductively, if not only for the furrowed eyebrows in your face.

"Excuse me, who are you?" Your soft voice echoed in his head.

Now that hurts his ego. Satoru Gojo. Gojo Satoru. The handsome Satoru. The greatest. The flirt. The smartest. The playboy. The Gojo Satoru. The damn Gojo Satoru who you didn't even know who.

His mind was floating elsewhere after hearing your question. As unbelievable as it may sound, you were, unfortunately, serious about not knowing him. And guessing by the look in your face, he definitely was not making a good first impression.

First attempt: Failed.

But he's not the Gojo Satoru for nothing. No, he won't give up just yet.

So he straightened his composure, faking a cough as he flashes his smile that makes all his girls go crazy, and lowers his head to show you his ocean blue eyes underneath his glasses.

He definitely made sure you won't forget his name as he asks forces you to walk you into class, blabbering nonsense by your side.

You were just too nice to tell him to go away.

September 16, 2023

Gojo Satoru was persistent. Walking you to class, even waiting for you outside the door when he was vacant, disturbing your quiet study session at the library, sitting with you at the cafeteria table when Shoko or Suguru was not there. You definitely didn't forget his name this time as he became the annoying Gojo Satoru who's becoming a nuisance to your somewhat quiet life turned into a roller coaster.

During those days, Gojo found out things about you. You were studying at the architecture department, you like arts and coffees as for what he noticed when you were at the library, you were at the top of your class, and you have a few admirers that you turned down in a nice way possible, just like how you were turning him down too.

He also took note of the fact that you were introverted, and a little shy with people so he might just go easy on you. You had a soft voice, however, you weren't as innocent as you came out to be. You are honest with your words, so when you say you're not interested in him, then you're truly not.

You weren't an easy target after all. But Gojo Satoru loved the thrill, you challenged him so much that he wasn't about to give up now that you intrigued him. He wanted to prove to himself that he can get anyone, he can have whatever he wants, and he definitely will.

"It's raining, it won't hurt to get in my car, princess." He said nearly in your ears. You pushed his face away with a look of disgust.

"No way, Gojo. You probably took so many girls in there already, and how can I be so sure you won't do anything bad?" You frowned at him, shoving his chest away as you stand outside the doors of your building, waiting for the rain to stop. You were angry, but damn you can't even raise your voice at him.

Soft. Too damn soft. Can he break you?

Through the days that he came by to woo you, it didn't matter anymore what words came out of your mouth. People may see you as the shy type of girl, but you're not afraid to voice out your opinion, and your somewhat intimidating face speaks a lot for you.

"Jealous?" He laughed when you glared at him. "Princess, I can assure you I haven't taken anyone inside my car. Plus, I can even buy a new one exclusively just for you if it bothers you too much." He grinned, annoyingly.

You gave him a moment of silence, and that sparked a new hope in Satoru's ego that you might be considering his offer now.

"Well... no."

Oh.

But he could only smirk, assuming you were only playing hard to get. Girls always liked when boys chase after them, no?

"I'll walk you home then."

You shot daggers at his back as he ran to his car, and came back with an umbrella. His shirt got a bit soaked, hair a little wet after running to the car, but damn, he still got that annoying smirk on his face.

You sighed, how annoying.

September 29, 2023

He never gave up despite how you rejected him multiple times. He stuck by your side even though you don't want him to, and he was somehow getting into your system. He carries your bag when he walks you to class, or just about anywhere, and you didn't even give your bag to him—he practically forced you. He'd buy you coffee in the morning, making sure he gets the right order, and when you give money to pay, he'd refuse and shove the money back in your wallet. Sometimes, he'd give you sweets even if you don't ask him to, giving you the flavors that he likes the most.

Funny how you can't even get him to stop whatever he's trying to do. No man has ever pursued you like he does.

"Gojo–"

"That's Satoru for you, love." He cut you off with a playful smile. "Haven't I told you already?"

"Gojo." You repeated seriously. His eyes glinted with interest as he waited for your words. "Get lost, please."

How nice of you to say please.

He laughs. He had the audacity to laugh. "You know, you're really cute."

"Look," you sighed tiredly. "Whatever this is you're trying to do, stop. I'm not interested. If you want to get into my pants like you did to those other girls, that's not going to happen."

With one look at him, you snatched your bag from him and walked away with your heart beating loudly. Your face was heating up after saying each word, and never in your life have you turned someone down so harshly.

Satoru watched as you walked away. Sure, that hurt his pride, but he can't let his ego step on so easily.

He left you alone during the day, just giving you the space since he seemed to have pushed your buttons a bit. Plus, he was busy with basketball practice since his coach was already nagging him for not attending their training.

However, your assumptions were only proved to be true when you caught him with a girl at the parking lot the same day. A cheerleader, stroking his chest as if she was comforting him as her other hands wiped his sweat with a towel. You looked at his physique, Satoru Gojo was in his basketball uniform, showing a lot of his biceps. You watched as his adam's apple protruding as he drank his water.

You felt annoyed. Your eyes turning red when you see just how he didn't mind the cheerleader. Of course, Gojo Satoru was a playboy.

Who cares? You definitely didn't.

That's what you thought.

You walked in the opposite direction, just so you wouldn't cross paths. But of course, Gojo Satoru will always see you. After all, he was at the parking lot waiting just for you, and only you.

"Wait up!" You heard his voice from behind, and you didn't even look back, thinking he wasn't calling out for you. You wished he was calling for you.

Satoru grabbed your wrist, and forced you to look at him. "Hey!"

Your brows furrowed, trying to yank your wrist away at his strong hold. "What do you want?"

"Woah... slow down." He said as he grasped your elbows with both hands. His eyes searched yours, his piercing blue eyes staring at the raging fire burning in your gaze. "What's wrong?"

You swear, your brows almost met each other at him. But you didn't want to burst. At least, not in front of him. "Go back to your cheerleader, Gojo." You frowned at him.

He observed you for a minute, then a small smile crept on his lips. Realizing just how much he's finally having an effect on you.

"Sorry," he chuckled.

"What?!" You almost shout at him in annoyance.

"I said, I'm sorry, princess." He repeated. "I didn't think of you as the jealous type. Plus, she was just helping me."

"Help you what? Wipe off your sweat? Since you don't have the hands to do it for yourself?" You glared at his annoying handsome face. "You playboy. I knew you were just trying to play with me." You said, pushing his chest with your pointer finger.

He pursed his lips as he caught your wrist, stopping you. "Now, now, don't think like that." He chuckled. "I'm sorry, I'll be sure to push those girls away so you won't be mad at me anymore."

And damn, he was true to his words. He didn't know what got into him, but he definitely started rejecting every girl that came his way. He didn't even feel sorry, and he even stopped calling those poor girls with sweet endearments as he rejected them.

Gojo Satoru was slowly starting to feel something for you. But he doesn't even know it just yet.

In a span of a month, he successfully got into your system.

October 6, 2023

"How's the deal going?" Suguru asked as they walked together to their class.

"Poor girl, I heard from people that she's nice." Shoko added, shaking her head at them. "Though people may see her as intimidating, they said she's really kind. A soft voice, and all that. Shouldn't you stop, Satoru?"

"Nah, I think I'm enjoying this." Satoru shrugged.

Of course, Satoru definitely felt something tugging at his heart. He definitely liked having you around, since you were giving just the right thrill to rile him up, he loved every rejection, and every attention you gave him. But somehow, he was feeling a little guilty. But he's too prideful to even admit that.

"Plus, she's friends with Utahime. That girl hates you a lot, Satoru." Shoko said. "You wouldn't want to hurt her best friend."

October 13, 2023

"Didn't I tell you to call me Satoru?" He raised his eyebrows at you as he accompanied you in the library, placing a coffee and a small cookie right next to your books.

"We're not friends, Gojo."

"Right, since you're going to be my girlfriend."

You shot him a look, sighing as you turned the pages of your book. "What do you want this time?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to spend time with my favorite person." He smiled, opening his books too. "I'll study with you. I promise, I'll be quiet."

You didn't respond to that, just expecting him to keep his words. And when he did stay silent like he promised, you were already thanking god for having to hear your prayers.

As the hours went by, you slowly fell asleep, your head resting in your arms as your books laid discarded. Satoru looked at you, a small smile crept on his face as he gently stroked your hair.

He stood up, organizing your books in a pile, taking your pencil case as he shoved your pens in them and putting it inside your bag, he got the empty cup of coffee that he got for you and threw it in the trash can, and he did it all so as to not wake you. He waited for a few hours, tenderly watching you doze off, before he tapped your shoulders to wake you up so he could take you home.

October 18, 2023

Maybe Satoru felt guilty now.

He twists and turns in his bed, thinking of you and how you put up with him everyday. And everything you do, never escape in his eyes as he finds himself memorizing you.

You'd smile at him nicely, despite how your eyes show how annoyed you were.

Your feet would tap the floor when you get too nervous.

You don't even know but you unconsciously hold a piece of fabric in his shirt when it gets too crowded, hiding behind him when there's a lot of people.

He notices how your hands move gracefully as you trace your art project, eyes furrowed and focus on getting your work done.

Truthfully, he adores your smiles. The way your eyes would squint every time your lips stretch in delight. He held your hands once at his attempt of flirting, and it was so soft that he couldn't even get himself to let go. He loved playing with your soft, silky hair whenever you fell asleep in the library, staying by your side until you woke up. He also loved your silence, the comforting atmosphere that you give off seems to calm something in his heart. When he manages to get a proper conversation with you, he just wants to melt every time he hears your sooting voice.

And nervously, he thinks he's starting to like you.

October 23, 2023

Slowly, Satoru became a part of your day. Somehow, he managed to finally be friends with you, and still, you refused to call him Satoru, indicating that you still cannot allow yourself to be casual with him.

That's fine. He can settle for whatever you can give him. For now.

"Baby, there's a basketball game coming up this Friday..." Satoru trailed off. You were almost going to point out his endearment, but then again, it's Satoru, and you were slowly getting used to him.

"What?" You asked. "So?"

"I bought you tickets so you can watch. It's two tickets, so you can bring your friend."

He didn't even ask if you wanted to, but then again, for a hundredth time, it's Satoru. He wanted you to watch his game, nonetheless.

And you did. Your seat being close to their benches so he can see you easily.

October 27, 2023

"Seriously? I'm about to watch our school's basketball game, because Gojo Satoru invited you?" Utahime said annoyed as you both sat at your assigned seats.

"Well... yes..." You said shyly, looking around at the amount of people in the stadium. "You know, we've been hanging out a lot–"

"I told you, he's bad news." Utahime cut you off. "How am I supposed to get that in your head?"

"I know, I know... But he's actually been nice. Haven't you notice?"

Utahime thought for a moment. Of course, she noticed some changes. Gojo Satoru seemed to be spending his time with you lately. He didn't even care about his ex flings, or his admirers, he was solely focused on you. Usually, Gojo would take a girl wrapped around his fingers in a day, and then disposing them just as quick after he got what he wanted. He looks like he's not like that to you, Utahime thought. Though, she hated his guts, Utahime knew you were enjoying having him around.

She sighed, "Just... don't get hurt, okay?"

You chuckled at her. "Why would I?"

After the game ended, with your school cheering loudly at winning, Utahime said she had to go home quickly, so you were left alone.

You didn't know what to do, or where to go. Satoru was busy with his teammates, talking and congratulating each other. Satoru wanted to go to you quickly, but his fans surrounded him, stopping him from going your way as they celebrated their victory.

Satoru knew too well that you didn't like the crowd, so he was trying hard to escape from it.

Your eyes watched as his fans congratulated him, asking for pictures, and even giving him gifts. You sighed, texting him that you'll be going home since he wasn't about to finish anytime soon.

You understood that he was famous, and all that. He's Satoru Gojo, after all. And it's another part of him that you're still not used to.

A part of you was proud of him. And you couldn't possibly be selfish about him, especially if you only recently got to know him.

Satoru hurriedly ran away from the crowd, excusing himself politely as he saw you walking through the exit doors. He got his bag, and ran to catch up to you.

Thanks to his long legs, and his intense basketball training, he was able to catch up to you quickly. "Hey!" He called.

You turned as you heard his voice, seeing his disheveled hair and sweaty forehead as he ran to you. "Gojo, hey, I texted you and–"

"Hey..." He greeted, panting heavily.

You pursed your lips, getting a handkerchief from your pocket so you can wipe the sweat off his face. "Why did you leave them? Everyone was celebrating with you."

"You weren't there." He frowned. "What's the point of it..."

Satoru was tired after the game, but he was regaining his strength once he saw you.

"Nonsense." You chuckled, in which he frowned even more.

"I'll take you home." He said as he holds your hand to his, leading you to his car. "I invited you anyway, it's my responsibility to take care of you."

You nodded, getting in his car since you had been tired from all the crowd.

When he reached your home, he quickly got off so he could open the door for you.

Oh, the little things that he does.

You both stand outside of your house awkwardly, both trying to find the right words to say. You looked away, tapping your feet nervously as Satoru watches you.

"Congratulations... Satoru."

Satoru... Satoru... Satoru... His name never felt so good until you said it. It was like an achievement, a big prize that he won in his life. And his heart was almost about to explode when you finally called him by his name.

Satoru almost stuttered thanks to you. Slowly, he was approaching you until your back leaned in his car.

He closed his eyes, as his head fell on your shoulders. "Say that again... please?"

"Huh?" You were confused, your face blushing at the proximity. "Congratulations?"

"No... say my name... please, baby?"

His voice was so soft, desperately asking you to say the words he longed to hear from you. Satoru felt weak in his knees.

He looked up at you finally, his eyes searching your soul. Despite the darkness of the night, his eyes were glowing brighter than the moon.

"Satoru?"

"Fuck..."

Satoru Gojo knew he's in danger.

The moment he locked eyes with your eyes, looking at them until it darted on your lips. Before he knew it, he was leaning down for a kiss.

And fuck it, just how dangerous it was that you weren't even pulling away.

October 28, 2023

You were confused when you saw Satoru at your front door the next morning, his hands holding a bouquet of flowers. He looked absolutely handsome in his shirt, his sleeves tucked until his elbow.

You blush when you remember what happened last night. "Satoru, what are you doing here? It's a Saturday."

"I know," he said, handing you the bouquet of tulips. "I missed you."

"H-huh?"

"Will you allow me to take you out on a date?"

His heart was at bliss when you said yes to him. It was a simple coffee shop date, but you felt so happy as he made sure you were also comfortable and having fun. Having casual talks with you, but this time, there was a lying affection between you two.

And when he took you home, he slowly sealed your lips in a kiss. Exploring your mouth gently, smiling as he pulled away.

October 30, 2023

Satoru finally told Suguru he wants to stop whatever game they started with each other.

"Just about time you do."

Satoru swears he felt his ears heat up when Suguru said those words with a teasing grin. Shoko was laughing at his flushed state, clapping her hands in delight.

"Ah! I knew it!" She exclaimed. "Knew you were going to fall on your own trap. Well, that's actually good."

Satoru blushed even more. Finally, he can admit that he was starting to like you. Love you even.

In all honesty, he felt like he couldn't even live without you in his life. He felt like every moment with you was precious, and he was desperate to make you his, seriously this time.

All those times that he accompanied you to class, were influenced by his own choice. He could've just left you alone some days, but he didn't even know he was doing all those things unintentionally. Buying you snacks, and your coffee, he could've easily stopped that after every rejection, but he chose not to.

Gojo Satoru wanted to always be a part of your day. He was already a part of your present, and he wants to be there in your past, and still be in your future.

November 3, 2023

Satoru, as usual, was eating lunch with you in the cafeteria. Everyone in the school knew by now that he was not entertaining anyone anymore, just you. And he made it that obvious, looking at you so lovingly everyone who passed by would've looked at you in envy.

"Why aren't you with Shoko and Suguru?" You asked as you take a sip of your coffee. You looked over to the table where his friends sat, both busy at whatever conversation they had.

"They don't mind." Satoru replied, scooting closer in your seat. "You should get used to it by now."

"To what?"

"Sitting with you during lunch." He smiled when you looked away. "I like being with you."

Your mind wandered off somewhere when he said that. Does he like you or does he like the company that you give?

November 10, 2023

Satoru was frowning at you when he saw you sitting with another guy in the library. At your usual spot, in his seat, in front of you. He was annoyed that someone even had the guts to make a move to you.

Slowly, with heavy steps, he approached your table, sitting at the vacant chair next to you. His hands wrapped itself between your waist, as his jealousy pulled him to kiss your cheek in front of your innocent classmate.

"Baby..." He whispered closely in your ear. "I was looking for you."

He looked in front to shoot daggers at the guy you were with. The innocent stranger blushed as he looked away, "Uh... I guess I'll see you tomorrow. I'll message you if I need help."

The guy hurried on his feet, stumbling as he exited the library. Satoru's arms tighten on your waist and you looked at his angry face.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Who is he and why is he going to message you?" A frown was evident in his face, and he was getting a little too close. You had never seen him this intimidated.

"That's my partner for a group project, idiot." You muttered the last word. "You scared him off."

Satoru pulled you close, nuzzling his nose against your temple. "It's annoying..."

"What's annoying?"

Satoru cursed under his breath, "Come on, I'll take you out to dinner."

But while he was driving, it was painfully silent. You're not used to this kind of mood, he was always playful and teasing, but now, he was glaring ahead at the car in front of him, as if the car did something wrong.

His knuckles were white on the steering wheel, and for some reason, you find yourself putting your hands above his, running circles on his tensed ones.

His hold loosened up a bit, and he sighed heavily.

"Tell me, what's wrong, Satoru."

Satoru pulled over to the side, facing you with a nervous face. "I'm sorry..."

"For what?"

"I was... jealous." He answered truthfully. He frowned, not liking the feeling twisting in his stomach. "I've never felt this before, baby. I want to keep you to myself, to always have you by my side and not anyone else, and it's so selfish that I hate myself for it. You're driving me crazy, and fuck it, I love you. I love you for making me like this. You don't understand... I'm head over heels–"

You interrupted him with a kiss. Satoru didn't even realize that he was already confessing, not until he felt your mouth against his.

It felt like there were fireworks exploding in your surroundings. Feels like he was finally breathing for the first time ever. Like the summer melting his winter.

"I love you too, Satoru."

He felt like dying right then and there, cupping your cheeks in a hungry kiss. Pulling you to his lap as you both make out in his car.

"Can I be your boyfriend?"

How can he be so cute, muttering those words weakly underneath you?

His question was not even a 'will you be my girlfriend' but a 'can i be your boyfriend?'

It was so cute. He was asking you your permission, he was asking to be yours.

He was... surrendering his heart to you.

And who were you to deny him?

November 20, 2023

You found out Gojo Satoru is a clingy man. It was obvious, the first time that he never left you alone, but this time, it only got worse, in a good way though.

He holds your hand when you're together, not even caring when girls would look at the two of you jealously. He doesn't care if a teacher sees him snuggling his face against your neck, he just wants to be that close to you. He will ask for a cuddle every time you two spend your time in your house. He would dart his tongue out teasingly at Shoko and Suguru when all of you sat at the same table, and he was hugging your waist and leaning his head on your shoulder. And when you two are in a private space, especially his car, he'd pull you in his lap for a long make out session.

You weren't even complaining, since you loved him just as much.

"Utahime!" You smiled when you saw your best friend in the cafeteria. "Haven't seen you in a while."

Utahime gave out a tired sigh. "I know, the professor is always giving out so many tasks, I might pass out anytime soon." She chuckled. "How are you? You and Gojo? He's like a lovesick puppy always sticking by your tail."

You chuckled. "That's so exaggerated, Utahime... But I'm really really happy."

Utahime was glad to hear her only best friend was this happy. She was thanking god that Gojo finally decided to be serious over a girl for once, and if he ever just breaks your heart, she'd be so sure to be the first to kick his ass.

December 4, 2023

"You're still with her?" Gojo's ex flings, Jia, asked him during his basketball training. Jia was the cheerleader girl that you saw him with in the parking lot, the fling that Satoru had for a month, longer than usual. He already rejected her, but she's still desperately trying to get with him.

"Of course, I am." He muttered, annoyingly. He snatched the towel that she was holding, her attempt to help him wipe his sweat. "Jia, I already told you–"

"Isn't she just a bet?"

Satoru froze, as if a bucket of ice was dropped all over his body. Her voice rang in his head, and he blinked furiously a few times.

"She's not–"

"But I heard you and Geto." Jia smirked, knowing she was just pushing the right buttons. "Come on, you were at the cafeteria, were you not expecting someone to hear you? I was pitying her when I saw the poor girl slowly starting to–"

"Whatever you heard, Jia, is none of your business." Satoru said in a cold-hearted tone. "I love her. Get that in that little brain of yours." He scoffed, walking away.

Jia was furious, her eyes turning black in anger. Oh, she wanted to hurt you. She was the last fling of Satoru, and just because of you, he was acting like this. She didn't like the fact that you easily stole him from her.

December 13, 2023

The fall. The breaking point.

Suguru was having a party in his house, a public year-end party with a few of his college friends and blockmates, everyone was invited to have fun. Satoru took you with him, making sure to just stay by your side so you won't get lost at the sea of people.

"How are you two holding up?" Suguru approached you two, handing a cup to Satoru. "You two having fun?"

You nodded your head quietly. "Yeah... there's a lot of people. Are they all from our university?"

"Some are outsiders," Suguru chuckled. "Satoru, we're about to play by the pool. We'll wait for you there."

Satoru nodded, pulling you by the waist as Suguru left. "You okay, baby? Do you want to go home?"

You shake your head, "No, no, it's fine. We can stay a bit more."

"Mhmm, just tell me if you get tired, okay?"

You two walked together to the backyard, where the swimming pool was at. It was a bit crowded, but definitely fewer than inside Suguru's house. Shoko was there, a few of Suguru's friends, and Satoru's basketball teammates. They were all passing out their drinks, mixing whatever liquor was there.

Everyone said hi to Satoru, even to you. You watched silently as a few of his friends talked to him.

"Satoru, I'll go to Shoko first." You whispered above the noise. He turned his head at you, stopping his conversation with his friends.

"What? I'll go with you then–"

"No, it's fine, Shoko's just there." You said, pointing at Shoko who was lighting a cigarette right next to Suguru. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."

Satoru nodded reluctantly as he let you approach Shoko and Suguru, turning back to his friends, glancing at you once in a while.

But when he wasn't looking, Jia just had the perfect timing to enter the scene, stopping you midway.

"Oh, it's Satoru's little toy." Jia slurred her words. You looked at her confused as she looked at you judging. "He's still not breaking up with you? He wants to hurt you that bad, huh?" She chuckled.

You were trying to assess her words. You recognized her as the cheerleader Satoru was with last time, and her aura and words were making you nervous. What was she trying to say? What did she mean by that?

Satoru saw you, and his breath hitch when he saw who you are with. He looked over at Shoko and Suguru, who both stood up to approach you, but Jia was already taking advantage of you being alone.

"Poor girl," she frowned teasingly. "I'm pretty sure Satoru didn't want to go too far with the bet."

"Bet?" Your voice came out hoarse. You looked over at Jia's shoulder, where Shoko and Suguru stood frozen in their spot, their eyes widened in horror, and it gave you just enough explanation about what's happening.

"Oh, they were just betting about how Satoru can make you fall in love 'til December." She laughed wickedly. "I'm sorry, honey, you had to find out this way, but really, I was feeling sorry that I have to tell you–"

Her words were cut short when you felt a hand on your wrist. And you turned to see Satoru, his eyes red and shaking, "Baby..."

"Satoru? Was that true?" You looked into his eyes, hopeful. Your eyes welled up in tears, and his silence just made it worse. His hold on you was trembling, and he couldn't even say the right words out of his mouth.

You looked at Suguru and Shoko, your eyes pleading. "Shoko? Suguru?"

Another silence. It's like something was pulling the strings of your heart, threatening to cut your lifeline. And it hurt so much when they couldn't even say something.

You heaved a gasp, trying to stop a sob to escape your lips. But you failed miserably as Satoru tried to pull you in his embrace. "Let me explain–"

You pushed him away furiously, eyes angrily glaring at him. "Explain? Explain what?! That what she said was true?!"

Satoru's hands balled in a fist, and he felt his eyes burning as you pushed him away from his touch. His heart aches when you look at him full of hatred, and hurt. He felt his world slowly crumbling apart when you ran away in a hurry.

You quickly called Utahime, asking her to pick you up as soon as possible. While Satoru stood there helpless, his feet glued to the ground. He looked at Suguru, his eyes searching for help.

All of you were equally shocked, and nervous.

"Fucking go after her, Satoru!" Shoko shouted as she pulled Jia's hair. "Fucking bitch!"

The latter cried, but Satoru couldn't care less as Suguru pushed him to move. As fast as he could, he ran outside the door of Suguru's house, walking past every dancing body, he didn't even care if he crashed into someone, he just wanted to get to you.

And when he found you walking by the sidewalk, his heart started crying at your panicked state. He approached you, holding your wrist to stop you from walking any further.

"Satoru!"

"Let's talk, please–"

"Let go of me!"

"Let's talk, baby. Let's talk this out." He pleaded desperately, hands grasping your shoulders to stop you from moving.

Your body trembled against him, hands covering your face as you tried to stop your tears from falling continuously. "I hate you."

"I know you do–"

"Fucking jerk."

"I know, I know–"

"Don't touch me!" You burst, pushing him away harshly. His heart crashed into pieces, his breath coming out shallow and slow. Just like you, he was crying just as bad. "I knew! I knew from the very start you were up to no good! Utahime warned me, my friends warned me! But fuck you! I thought you actually cared! I thought you loved–"

"I love you, baby..." He said, weakly.

"You lying skim! I thought you changed!"

"Please, baby, let's talk about this when we're not angry? Please?" He tried to reach out for you, but his heart felt like it was losing its strength when you back away.

"I don't want to see you–"

"N-no, you don't mean that..." His voice came out as a whisper, a desperate plea for you to listen to him. "I'll take you home, we'll talk, okay? I'll explain and–"

"There's no use, Gojo."

Cruel. How cruel of you to say his last name so coldly. It was a sign that Satoru refused to look at. A sign that you were tired, that you want to let this go already.

His beautiful blue eyes seemed to lose its life, the same way that he was losing you. One moment, you were there by his side, and now... you looked at him as if you wanted to get him out of your life.

And it hurt so bad. It hurt so bad when he tried to touch you, but you still furiously backed away.

"I love you." His voice cracked, looking at you weakly. His hands shake by his side, fighting the urge to reach out for you.

You breathed heavily, shaking your head at him as you said nothing back. You clenched your teeth, not wanting to let him hear your sobs. You're starting to pity yourself, of how stupid you had become. You should've listened to Utahime the first time.

December 14, 2023

Satoru had never felt this lifeless before. Even Shoko and Suguru couldn't help him as he refused to talk to any of them.

His eyes were searching for you everywhere in the cafeteria, but to his dismay, you never showed up the whole day, not even in your classes. He wanted to ask Utahime when he saw her walking down the hallways, but the girl only glared at him as she walked passed. And Gojo was just as helpless as ever.

He messaged and called you a few times, but you didn't answer. He wanted to go to your house, but he can't even find the courage to do it.

December 15, 2023

Satoru finally saw you after a day of absence. You looked tired, and he was mentally cursing at himself for making you like this. He was starting to hate himself, and he's not going to forgive himself anytime soon.

Satoru tried to approach you, but you didn't even dare look him in the eye. He bit his lower lip, trying his hardest to stabilize his breathing. Just like he usually does, he walks you to class, only a few steps behind this time.

Fine, he'll settle for this. He'll give you the space you needed first before anything else.

At the cafeteria, he didn't see you once again. That worried him as he left Shoko and Suguru to look for you. The first place he thought of was the library, and he was glad to see you there.

You glanced up from your book, feeling someone staring at you. And you were right as your eyes met with Satoru, and your heart ached as your brows furrowed at him.

You looked away, trying not to be affected.

All throughout the day, Satoru thought of you and your last interaction. Every time the memory flashed in his mind, he wanted to punch himself. Hurt himself twice as much.

He fucked up so bad, and he wanted to make it up to you.

So he finally had the courage to wait outside your classroom's door after his class, waiting for the professor to dismiss everyone. He didn't waste anymore time as he got by your side quickly when you walked out the door.

Your name rolled out his tongue slowly, and you stopped dead on your track.

"I'll t-take you home..." He stuttered, his eyes searching yours for any emotion. But your eyes were dead, not even a single anger, or love for him in there.

"I'm fine, Gojo. You can go away–"

"I'm not going away."

You turned to him furiously. It was like you two are back to square one, to the first time you two met, and no one should ever forget that Gojo Satoru was persistent. But this time, two hearts were breaking and in a need to mend.

"P-please, let's talk–"

You didn't respond as you walked away fast, but damn his legs for always being able to keep up with you. Despite how Satoru took the hint that you don't want to talk to him, he still didn't care. It didn't matter to Satoru if he couldn't take you home with his car, he'll walk with you instead, like how he used to.

He'll be quiet. He just wants to be with you.

December 16, 2023

You hated Saturday classes. And you hate it even more that Satoru Gojo was tailing you behind. Trying his best to get you to talk to him.

"Baby–"

"Don't call me that."

He coughed awkwardly, blinking his tears away. "You didn't eat lunch today again, let me take you–"

"Cut the crap, Gojo."

He gulped when you looked at him, with hatred in your eyes.

Maybe, just maybe he can settle for this. Look at him. Just look at him. At least look at him, even if you don't want to love him anymore. It's fine. He understands. Just look at him.

"Stop with the act already. I'm so tired of it. I'm so tired of you."

"I'm sorry..." He muttered against his breath. "But I can't. Not until you listen to me." Not until you take him back.

"There's nothing for you to explain anymore, Gojo. I've had enough, and I get it. I understand as bright as day that it was just a game–"

"It's fucking not." He gritted his teeth. As much as he didn't want to be harsh, he was so desperate in wanting you to lend your ears to him. "It wasn't a game for me. And I did love you. I fucking love you still. Yes, it was a bet at first, but I told Suguru that I wanted to stop. He knows just how much I love you. Shoko knows. Fucking everyone knows at this point. Why can't you just listen to me?"

He catches his breath as he finishes voicing out his words. But no, you were a little hard in the head. You wouldn't believe him that fast. You didn't want to hurt your heart again.

"I don't love you."

You didn't know what gave you the urge to say that. It wasn't really true, but the wrong words seem to be the only right words to cut it out.

If Satoru's heart is already breaking, he was sure it is now turning into ashes. You're a liar, he tried to convince himself. You love him, and he's not about to give up just yet.

December 18, 2023

You can hurt Satoru how much you want, but that will never stop him from loving and chasing after you.

Another frustrated sigh came out from you when he left a cookie on your table to your first class, with a note saying, 'I love you. Don't forget to eat.' with his name underneath and a heart. You didn't even know how he managed to put these on your table so early in the morning, and your heart just wants to surrender.

But no, you're not.

So, even if it comes out too heartless, you offered the cookie to the person next to you as you crumpled the note, throwing it away inside your bag so no one would see it.

During lunch, Satoru saw you at your usual table, and tried to sit with you. But you got up in a hurry, pulling Utahime who just got back from the bathroom with you.

Being angry at him is one thing, but avoiding him? No, he can't take that. He'd rather have you stay mad at him, scream and hurt him verbally, even slap him if you want, but giving him the cold shoulder was you telling him that he doesn't exist in your world anymore. Satoru's heart is barely living at this point.

Satoru cursed to himself, standing up and going back to Shoko and Suguru who looked at him with a sad smile.

"Give it time, Satoru."

But time doesn't seem to be on his side.

And fate doesn't get along with you on your most desperate days as you watched the rain poured down once again. It was like deja vu. Standing outside the building, waiting for the rain to stop so you can go home.

But the rain was falling a little too harsh, and you know it's not about to stop anytime soon. It was like the rain also had a turmoil within itself, crying heavily just the same way your heart did.

You hate yourself for always forgetting an umbrella as you take a step, lifting your bag to your head, as you let the rain soak your clothes. It's the last day of school today anyway, you're finally taking your Christmas vacation tomorrow, and it wouldn't hurt to get sick for a few days.

Unbeknownst to you, Satoru comes to the rescue at the right time.

He held an umbrella as he ran after you, being careful as he strides so he won't trip on his feet.

He called your name, stopping shortly when he finally got you under the umbrella and pulling you close by the waist.

"I'll take you home." He shouted above the rain.

Your body trembled in the cold, and Satoru was embracing you like he used to. He didn't even mind if you got his clothes wet. But you still have the guts to push him away. "No! I can go home by myself!"

"Stop being stubborn!" Despite holding you with one hand, his other hand holding the umbrella, he still managed to keep you on your feet, his hand squeezing your waist tightly.

"Gojo–"

"Stop it!"

"Let go of me!"

"You're going to get sick!"

"I don't fucking care!"

"No, I'll take you home–"

"Gojo Satoru!"

Satoru gave up as you writhed from his embrace. He dropped his umbrella, using both his hands to grab your waist, and kissing you in the rain.

His tongue was invading, seeking every corner of your mouth desperately. Fuck, he missed this. He missed you so much. And he didn't even care if the rain was slowly ruining his hair and clothes, as long as he had you right here in his arms.

It was a dangerous dance underneath the cold waters beneath the rain. Two lovers, hopelessly trying to heal their broken hearts. Their lips tangled together like it was their last chance to be like this again.

"Satoru..."

"I'll take you home..."

How did you let yourself become weak for him?

You handed him a towel as both of you entered your home. Despite how upset you are with him, you couldn't possibly just leave him wet by the rain and catch a cold. You were just being nice, you said to yourself. It's not because of your affection towards him, you're just being a helpful woman who still has a heart so you invited him into your house. Thats it, that's all there is, perhaps.

Before you can leave him, Satoru holds your hand, electrifying the two of you to stop you from your tracks. You tried to look at him in the eye, but it was impossible. Satoru doesn't even try to hide how much he's hurting in front of you, and that just doubles the pain that you're feeling right now.

"Let's talk..." He said weakly. "Please? I'm not leaving if we don't talk."

"Satoru, please, just let it go..."

"No," he shakes his head stubbornly. "You mean so much to me."

Your breath hitched as he pulled you close, cupping your cheeks with both hands as he leaned his forehead against yours.

"It's true, we did make a bet..." He closed his eyes, the words falling in his mouth felt like daggers shot straight to his heart. "And I hate myself for it. For being a prideful jerk who wanted to prove he can have whoever he wants, and hurting you in the process..."

Satoru breathed heavily, his hands rubbing circles on your cheek. "Before I knew it, I was down badly on my knees. I wanted you. I love you. I wanted to spend each and every waking moment with you. And I told Suguru, and Shoko, that I wanted to stop whatever game we agreed upon, so I can start loving you truthfully..."

"Satoru..."

"And I felt so alive, baby. When you told me you love me too, when you let me be your boyfriend, when you finally accepted my love for you. Fuck, I can die a happy man. I just... love you. I love being loved by you. I love it when you let me love you. I love it when you do nothing and it just drives me wild. I love it every time I see your eyes looking at me. I love hearing your voice, seeing you smile, and love it even more when you let me hold your hand! I love every single piece of your soul, and I want you. I want to always be with you. My heart aches for you, baby... please..."

He was crying. Oh, god, he was crying as he confessed everything to you. And you swear your heart wants to come out from your chest.

Your heart was swelling, he was mending your bruises, healing your scars in every word he uttered. Your tears were falling nonstop, and your hands quiver to place it above his.

"Satoru..." You sobbed, looking at his helpless blue eyes who'd been crying buckets as well. "I hate the fact that I love you so much."

Satoru heaved a gasp as he pulled you to his embrace, sealing you in a wet kiss. Somehow, it didn't even feel cold anymore now that you have your arms around him again.

His face settled on your neck, and he was catching his breath. He ran his hands in your hair, holding you tight as if he was afraid to let you go.

"Don't leave me again..."

"I won't. I promise." You let out a low chuckle. This time, you cupped his cheek so he could look at you. "I love you so much, Satoru. I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"I deserved it." He smiled. Finally, he was smiling at you. "And I love you more."

Satoru made sure he's not letting you escape this time. Everyday, he's going to make it up to you. He's going to tell you how much he loves you, and he's going to make sure you'll never even forget it until you fall asleep. He's going to love you like it's breathing, and he promised to himself he's going to love you until the next lifetime.

***

i know i said I'll do the part 2 of my Suguru fic, but im so sorry this was in my head for ages 😭 i promised ill start part 2 in a while... anyways, thanks for reading! its not proofread so im sorry for any typographical errors and spelling ^^

[audrey-emeralds]

instagram au - jacob elordi x influencer!reader

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august 26, 2023

ynyln

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august 27, 2023

ynylntracks

@ynyln posted she is in Norway!!! Really interested to see who she is with. We will probably see her with @ynsfriend!

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jacobelordi

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trending #jacobelordigirlfriend

jacobcrushinmee

who is sheeeeee, aaaa is jacob off the market!!!!!!!

euphoria.freak223

yall calm down! it was just a story, they didn't do nothin 😒

comicallycassie

hey, she could be just a friend 🤷🏼‍♀️

perez-madeleine

Who are you all trying to fool? Didn't you hear the freaking SONG he put!!!!!!!!

booth.jocobfann

wait a second, just till I start tracking that umbrella's location

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september 2, 2023

ynyln

10,021 likes

ynyln When your bf recommends a book, you have to give it a shot

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sophviolets i need to finish reading this

clickbait-content1 bf as in boyfriend?

poetcrafts the snow in the mountains was melting, and bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to understand the gravity of our situation

blossom.touch3s Omg y/n who is it

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september 22, 2023

ynyln

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october 3, 2023

celebritiestoday

3,214 likes

celebritiestoday Jacob Elordi was seen yesterday night with what appears to be his girlfriend. Her name is yet unknown, as is their relationship status. What are your thoughts, is this a new relationship for Euphoria actor or nothing serious?

View all 530 comments

julesfromtheparty oh no, that is serious

dailyeuphoriafan and you all said his story was nothin, where you at now???

perez-madeleine I CALLED IT!

jelordi1stanns AH! NEW RELATIONSHIP

wendynotwilliams that's not sydney, right?

locally-chaotic12 that ain't serious

elordijacobs until it's officially confirmed, i am staying quiet

1989.album221 JACOBB

raw-euphoria-react @jacobelordi care to explain this 🧐

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trending #jacobelordigirlfriend

slimchanceswitcelebs that has to be THE girlfriend

marscitinzen jacob better say it out loud, otherwise, i ain't believing it

jacobsworkingeuphoria this relationship about to be public

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december 18, 2023

ynyln

22,005 likes

ynyln enjoying switzerland!

@ynsfriend1 @ynsfriend2 @ynsfriend3 @jacobelordi

View all 2,207 comments

poetcrafts oh it must be beautiful in person!

fan.fanning ahhhhhh i'm sorry, what

popelordiculture JACOB IS TAGGED

fanofynyln321 girl, you think we wouldn't notice the tag

jacobcrushinmee omg! she is the girl from the storyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

nate.euphoria1923 pose if you two are dating 📸

ynylntracks SHE IS WITH NATE JACOBS

rosie.b.smith you were a secret for monthsss

mitchbitch she has got to be the girl from the paparazzi photos

chlooethecriminal girl we have seen you two before, internet NEVER FORGETS

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december 19, 2023

trending #jacobelordigirlfriend

stellamonroe not you people finding out who my girl yn is just now 😂

popelordiculture should have stalked his following sooner 😒

hissingteenage.girl JACOBBB you can't be doing me like this when I just saw you in saltburn 😭

oxfordsalt1 bruh too soon, jacob you didn't even give us a chance

jacob.elordifan283 i guess that means i am single 😔

[just-some-trans-nobody]

December Christmas Monstet stories

December 8.) Horny Krampus

Sorry everyone this one was supposed to br way longer than this but I'm having really bad writers block. I might try to rewrite it eventually I just had to finish what little I had if I want stick to the schedule.

Warnings: NSFW, spit as lube, bare minimum prep, swearing, possessive behavior, stalking behavior

Minors Don't Interact!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Three weeks. 

You only got three weeks a year with him and then you had to wait longing for his touch until next year. 

It was like clock work. December 1st at midnight the sound of heavy hooves landing on your roof waking you. The last two years you would wake up a minute or two before the stroke of midnight in anticipation of his arrival. 

Giddier than a kid on Christmas day you threw the blankets off yourself and rushed to the living room. Some years he came down the chimney, sometimes the window. He always kept you on your toes never fully knowing where he was going to enter. You weren't sure how a man of such a large size could fit down a chimney but your brain always turned off when he was around. Too dick whipped to think about anything but him and the pleasure he gave you.

Hearing his low growl rumble from behind you, your body trembled in response. He had come through your bedroom window expecting you to be there. Seeing you weren't there made him mad, he wanted his cock in you immediately. Having to wait irritated him. Turning you smiled at him before letting out a gasp when he grabbed you pushing you against the nearest wall. “Fuck.” You moaned out, leaning your head back. He let out a low rumble hearing your moan. The sounds you make when he's with you calmed his raging soul, if only a little bit. Seeing that you were still dressed he growled before ripping off your clothes. His clawed hands tearing your clothes to shreds. You know you should be mad about it but the act had only served to turn you on even more. 

Heart pounding in your chest you reached out to hold onto him as he lifted you up pinning you to the wall with one hand. Your legs dangled, unable to reach the floor by a good foot or two. He effortlessly freed his cock from its restraints with his free hand. Lifting a leg up you rested it on his hip spreading your legs for the large man.

Biting your bottom lip you trembled at his touch as he held your chin. “Open.” He growled in a low voice that rumbled in your chest. Obediently you opened your mouth, lightly sticking your tongue out. His fingers immediately slide into your mouth causing you to close it around them. He hardly ever took the time to lube you up first so this felt special for you. Keeping eye contact with him you made sure to lube up his fingers with your saliva as much as you could before he finally pulled them out of your mouth leaving a trail of saliva from his fingers to your plump lips. The trail broke after a second landing on your chin causing him to let out a low rumble at the sight. 

Lowering his hand to your entrance he pushed the lubed up fingers inside of you causing you to moan. He wanted to take you so much it hurt but he knew you haven't had him in such a long time you would need to be stretched out first. By the end of the month he would be able to slip it in without reliance, but that was then and this was now. He would never admit it to himself or anyone else that he cared deeply about you to the point it scared him. As much as he loved making you scream out in painful pleasure he didn't want to hurt you so badly he scared you off. He needed you more than he realized.

Hearing you moan from just his fingers made him smirk in pride. He loved hearing how well he pleasured you, he wanted to hear more. Spreading his fingers wide he continued to pump them into you faster drawing out more moans from your lips. “O-oh oh fuck keep going! Gonna cum!” You moaned, throwing your head back against the wall. Your words encouraging him to pump his fingers harder. Reaching your orgasm with a cry you clung to his arms closing his eyes. 

You barely had a moment to come down from your orgasm when he slid his fingers out and replaced them with the tip of his cock. Gasping you opened your eyes to be met with his hungry gaze. Letting out a quiet moan you rolled your hips against his taking in more of his cock. He let out a low moan feeling his cock go deeper into you. It drove him mad. Growling he snapped his hips forward pushing all of his cock into you causing you to sob lightly. It stung but felt good at the same time. Whimpering softly you clung to him as tears welled in your eyes. He waited for a moment letting you adjust for a moment before he started to slowly rock his hips. Once your face started showing more pleasure than pain he sped his pace up thrusting faster into you. Pressing against you harder he pushed you against the wall even more making you feel a little squished. “Harder.” You moaned scratching at his arms. It was a request he was more than happy to comply with. 

The room was filled with the sounds of your needy moans and the relentless thrusts of Krampus. It was utter bliss being with him. December was by far your favorite time of the year and Christmas had nothing to do with it. 

[c0wb0yenthusiast]

While you were sleeping

Part 1

Aaron Hotchner x reader

Summary : It’s Christmas Eve. You’re all alone at work until your ‘mystery man’ is pushed onto the train tracks. You save him and are now mistakingly thought of as his fiancée. For the rest of the holidays, the family seems to cling onto you. What do you do when you meet his seemingly cold and unwelcoming brother?

Word count : 3k

A/N : THIS CHAPTER DOESN’T CONTAIN A LOT OF AARON! Don’t sue me I’m just trying to set the story but attempted to add a little snippet at the end. So before anyone gets mad at me just remember there’s a thing called developing plot so don’t hate me please. Anyways I had fun writing this and part 2 will definitely be out soon!

-

It started off as a completely innocent activity.

Ogling the man who took the train to work everyday. He was lean, casual and relaxed with soft - as least, you thought it looked soft - straight, light brown hair which fell over his eyes if it was windy.

You’d sit back in your booth and think about a future with someone like him. Listening to the constant clatter as people slid their tokens through while you began to daydream. From the look of it, he seemed to be successful too.

He’d always smile at you too.

His smile brought out the creases in his eyes and his straight teeth. He was so perfect it was meant to be.

It was small and you may have been taking it too far, but he was so dreamy.

“Thanks.”

You could only melt on the inside as he walked off, his scarf trailing down his back as it had been lazily wrapped around his neck.

However, this would always distract you from punching other people’s tickets. You’d get a furious rap on the window with an angry businesswoman.

But that was fine for you. It was fine if it meant being able to catch glances of him.

It was a chilly December morning. The wind seemed to push against you as you made your way to work. It may have been due to the fact that it was Christmas Eve.

Your boss had managed to convince you to work holidays. Probably because you didn’t have anybody waiting at home for you. Except for the landlord’s son.

You can only wrap your scarf around you tighter while you clasp onto your sandwich. You were nearly there.

The booth was slightly warmer than outside, with only your chair and table greeting you as you got yourself comfortable.

Here you were - working on Christmas Eve while everyone else were probably bundled in blankets and sipping hot chocolate with their families.

Listlessly staring into the glass barrier, you admire the blanket of snow which the city had been showered in. It just seemed to show that everybody was connected or all together.

Apart from you.

You settled in your chair, turning a token between your fingers slowly.

Before he came up to the booth.

“Merry Christmas Eve.” He smiled, tapping on the barrier.

You instantly looked up to meet his eye which made you falter at his piercing gaze.

He was wearing his long, dark jacket but a knitted red scarf was slung around his shoulders. His hair fell over his eyes as he looked down at you, sliding his token in the little gap.

Underneath his jacket, you could spot your favourite suit - rich navy blue blazer and a clean, pressed shirt which brought out his light eyes. His buttons were a beautiful mix of brown and amber, sewn neatly onto his jacket which was half buttoned. He was careless in such a fashionable way

You look up at him, eyes wide and mouth agape.

This was the most he’s ever said to you.

“Uh-“

He’d already walked off and was waiting happily for his train.

You looked like an idiot - frozen in action. Your jaw almost hanging open at the sheer embarrassment.

Nobody else was at the station or by your booth, so you took the opportunity to ogle your mystery man once more.

He stood idly, checking his watch and clutching his briefcase in his hand. Was he going to work? Was he visiting family?

While you imagined a future with him in 10 years, it suddenly came to your attention that a couple of men were now standing by him.

They hadn’t put a token in, what were they doing?

You squint in an attempt to catch a better look while being blocked by the glass barrier, you could faintly hear their conversation.

“Hey, nice jacket.” The tallest one approached him closely, he was most likely the ringleader.

“Must be expensive.” Another chirped in.

It happened so fast.

Before he could even respond, they’d taken the opportunity to shove him onto the tracks.

He fell face first, his briefcase dropping from his hand as he fell.

They immediately ran off, urging you to do something, anything.

You jumped out of your chair, dashing out of your booth and now standing on the spot where your beautiful stranger had been pushed.

He lay limply on the tracks.

He’d been knocked unconscious.

You couldn’t see his face but you knew it was bad. He could’ve hit his nose, or even broken a tooth.

Without even thinking you lowered yourself down cautiously next to him and turned him over with some effort.

You tried to think of a way to capture his attention or even wake him up, but his bloody nose and parted lips were making your mind race.

“Sir- sir? Sir!” You kept repeating over and over, using an arm to tilt him towards you.

Blood was now dripping down his face and you couldn’t contain your distress.

“Somebody help me! Please- sir!” Another hand was now stroking his cheek. You needed him to wake up.

He couldn’t leave you here on the tracks like this.

You never even got to know his name.

That was when you heard it.

As you were lamenting, the muffled sound of a horn could be heard through your panicked cries.

Still holding onto him tightly, you look up.

It’s a train coming your way.

“Sir! Sir, there’s a train… and- and it’s really fast and I don’t think it can stop for us.. please wake up.” You added, pleading with this unconscious man as the silhouette grew larger and larger out of the corner of your eye.

He really wasn’t going to wake up; he sure was stubborn.

He was too heavy to drag up onto the platform, but you’d just spotted a small nook to hide in.

With no time to consider your chances, you laid with him and rolled into the small corner. You were holding onto his expensive jacket like it was your own life force as the horn was now blearing through your ears.

Your face was pressed against his chest, your eyes shut tightly as if that would alleviate any of the pain you could’ve felt if the train had hit the two of you.

He really seemed like a successful man. Even his cologne smelled good.

The train came to a halt at your station and concerned passengers were now wandering mindlessly to find a way to help you.

You could only hold onto your dream man and anticipate what would happen next.

-

It was all such a rush you never understood how you’d handled it so well. It was probably all the adrenaline.

You were whisked away in an ambulance with him lying on the stretcher. As you sat with a professional in the back, you’d steal glances of him from time to time. You never thought this could happen.

They’d managed to clean you up fairly quickly but kept you in the hospital waiting room for the authorities.

You’d been sitting for around twenty minutes, holding onto his scarf that had been separated from him in the frantic rush to put him on the stretcher.

Was he going to be okay? Was this your fault? Were you going to be arrested?

All these questions bubbled in your head and were slowly beginning to rise. If you didn’t talk to someone soon, you might explode.

Suddenly, you spot him being wheeled in another stretcher through the glass doors.

Surely they had to let you see him. You needed to know if he was okay, especially since you’d saved his life.

You got up and pushed the door open, about to follow him and the group of doctors wheeling him but was met by another doctor.

“Sorry, only family are permitted to visit-“

“Oh, but-“

“Are you family?”

“Well, no..”

“Then you need to stay here, please.” He added, but there was no sincerity in his tone as he guided you back into the waiting room, just outside the forbidden door you’d just entered.

You couldn’t stand by and let your dream man be whisked away once more. You needed to see him.

Clutching the scarf tighter, you could feel the pain growing. If you’d actually tried, you could have possibly had a future with him. Maybe if you were actually social-

“God… I was going to marry him..” you whisper, holding a yearning hand up to the door.

This was the moment when your whole life was absolutely flipped upside down.

A nurse frantically rushed up to you.

“Dear, is that- do you need to see him? Are they not letting you inside?”

You look up at her, but her glare is urging you to stand up and look back at the doors.”

“Yeah.. it’s.. it’s fine though.”

“It’s not! They shouldn’t be doing that.”

She took your arm and guided you through the doors once more. The corridor was empty as the two of you walked down; it seemed to be never ending.

“Your man is right… here. I believe this is the room he’d been assigned to, dear.” She taps her clipboard while she smiles and waits by the door.

“Oh.. thank you.” You smile back. This is all quite overwhelming for Christmas Eve, probably more exciting than any of your previous years.

You push the door open gently, examining him while he slept. He seems calm enough, a brace was now placed on his nose and he wasn’t bleeding anymore.

His scarf settles in your arms as you take a seat next to him.

You need a minute to take in the way his hair is mussed and how peaceful he seems to look.

“Hi..” you murmur, shuffling closer.

You were planning to just apologise to him, speak to the authorities and move on to your life.

Maybe he would be able to hear this all in his sleep.

“It’s uhm.. it’s me. You got pushed onto the train tracks..” you chuckle, but quickly stop yourself.

“I didn’t find that funny.. I just thought it’s quite a coincidence for Christmas Eve. It sort of set us up together.” Your voice was coming out much smoother and softer as you got rather comfortable with your mystery man.

“I’m sorry you have to spend Christmas Eve like this.”

Suddenly, the door almost burst open with the group of people now entering. An ocean of voices flooded the room, overlapping each other and growing in volume.

“Sean! What happened to Sean!”

“He’s right there, why don’t you ask him?”

“He’s sleeping, can’t you see?”

“Stop arguing!”

They all stop abruptly, now turning to look at you in unison. You’ve never seen a family so connected.

The group contained two elderly men, an old woman and a man in his early 20s.

“Who are you?” The younger man cocked a brow.

What you didn’t notice was the doctor who refused your entry had gathered them here.

He came to the front of the group, pointing an agitated finger at you.

“I thought I told you-“

“She is family! She is his fiancée!”

They all seemed to quiet down at the nurse’s sudden interruption. Even you were startled, you didn’t realise she’d stayed.

“Sean has a fiancée?”

“It’s been a couple of years..”

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell us!”

“She could’ve been a mistress-“

You stood up quickly, gathering your coat. This was all too much for you.

“I- I should go..”

“Nonsense!” The old woman stood in front of you and continued, “Sean may have wanted to surprise us!”

“He’s already surprised us enough today…”, one of the men grumbled.

The other three men nodded and murmured amongst themselves, most likely doubtful.

You couldn’t say no; she seemed so definite that you might as well be his fiancée now.

“We’re so sorry for being so ignorant, honey. It’s just that Sean never let us know he had a fiancée..” she put her hands on your shoulders fondly, smiling.

“It’s.. it’s okay.”

“What would Aaron say?” The youngest seemed much more panicked than the rest, probably solely focused on Sean in the hospital bed.

Who’s Aaron?

Like a Greek chorus, they moved together in a flock as they surrounded Sean’s bed. You followed slowly, standing a couple of inches behind them as they examined his current situation.

“My poor boy..”, the woman - presumably his mother - sniffed and held onto one of the men.

“What happened to him?”

“Coma. He got pushed onto the train tracks.” The nurse was now standing by them, gesturing to her clipboard.

You were too busy mapping out who his potential family were in your head.

“He’s not dead, honey. He’ll make it..”, the husband added reassuringly.

“Let’s leave soon before everyone bursts into tears. Sean would want us to stop feeling sorry him.” The other old man patted the young boys back and nodded to you.

That was your cue to leave.

Or so you thought.

In the waiting room, the boy wandered off around the corner to the vending machines. It was just you and the old man.

“Come. Sit with me.” He gestured to the chair in front of him.

You obliged, trying to be polite as he now thought you were going to be bound legally due to marriage soon anyway.

“You feeling okay?”

“Me? Oh, I’m fine.”

“It must’ve been quite stressful. Saving Sean from an oncoming train.”

“It was definitely.. something.”

“How long have the two of you been together?”

You paused. When did you first see him? When was the first time you were graced by his smile and clean suits?

“June. It was a Monday.” You smiled fondly at the memory.

Beneath your daydreams, doubts were lurking in the back of your mind. Why were you going along with this?

“So.. around 7 months? Pretty quick for an engagement. He never told us about you.”

“Yeah.. yeah..”

He was about to ask another question, but the rest of the family were now approaching swiftly and took seats in the chairs around the two of you.

The mother sat next to you, smiling up at you admirably.

“You went onto train tracks for my boy. God, thank you!” She sniffed again and flung her frail arms around you.

You almost flinched at the sudden movement but accepted her embrace awkwardly.

“Thanks.. I’m just thankful that he wasn’t injured severely.”

“And she’s humble too! Sean really found himself a rose in a bundle of thorns.” The husband commented, grinning.

This was all becoming far too much for you. It was Christmas Eve - you should’ve been sitting at home, swirling a mug of hot chocolate in your hands and enjoying watching your cat play with the new toy you bought him.

You shouldn’t be in the hospital surrounded by strangers that now believe you’re engaged to your mystery man.

Sean. That was his name.

He’s no longer your mystery man, is he? He was your fiancé now and there was nothing you could do to get yourself out of this predicament.

They talked amongst themselves, sharing fond memories of Sean. Some of them included ‘Aaron’, who you still hadn’t met.

After 10 minutes or so, the mother turned to you.

“Dear, we were all wondering.. since Christmas Eve has been such a disaster..” she sighed and sniffed again, “Would you like to join us for Christmas? It’ll just be a small celebration, but we all think it’s so unfair we haven’t been able to introduce you to any of the family traditions. Right?”

She looked at everyone else, who all nodded enthusiastically. They all seemed to be sold on you being Sean’s fiancée, so why not go with it?

-

It was evening now, the sun had set much earlier and darkness shrouded the house.

They had refused to leave you alone in an attempt to make you feel happier concerning the situation at the moment. It wasn’t working.

You weren’t his fiancée and it seemed to be eating you alive. You can’t tell them now, they seem to like you so much already!

You’re sitting on the porch, staring out into the darkness. It’s chilly but you got to borrow one of Sean’s coats he’d left at his childhood house, you wrap it around yourself tightly and embrace the faint scent of cologne as you find solace in the eerie silence.

It’s not that you don’t appreciate what they’ve doing for you. It’s just all quite overwhelming for one day.

You’re only one person, you don’t think you can handle it all.

You exhale shakily, folding your arms over your chest to try and block out any breeze.

That’s when you see it.

A car pulls up in front of the house. It’s a nice one - shiny and expensive. You contemplate going inside but decide it’s probably no threat.

Then, a tall man encased in a long, black coat begins to walk up to the porch.

He’s refined, smooth and carries a sense of power. However, it seems to fade as he walks up the pavement. He’s less tense at the sight of the warm aura and bright light escaping from the inside and shining onto the frozen grass that he steps on.

Every ounce of friendliness leaves as soon as he comes face to face with you.

He stops abruptly, looking down at you with a cocked brow.

“Who are you?”

Before you can open your mouth, the door swings open and Mrs Hotchner rushes towards him.

“Aaron, we didn’t think you’d make it! It’s so good to see you, honey!” She cried, flinging her arms around him.

“Always a pleasure to see you, mother.” He replies, patting her back gently but not tearing his eyes off of you.

You shrink a little at his piercing gaze. It’s like he’s slowly peeling back the layers of your character, examining all of your features and trying to determine how to feel about you. Maybe you’re looking into it too harshly.

He just doesn’t know you yet.

And by the looks of it, he’ll get to know soon.

taglist: @jxvipike @barbwirewalk

Comment if you’d like to be added to my taglist!

[flynnriderishot]

can you pls do a story about the song "back to december" by taylor swift with matt.

IM ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH YOUR STORIES ‼️

back to december - m.s

warning: despite reading the meaning behind the song and listening to the lyrics, i’m not sure i fully understood what it’s about (aside from taylor apologizing) so i did my best as i haven’t listen to many songs on the speak now album. also- i’m so sorry for the long wait :)

when you broke up with matt, his heart was absolutely shattered.

his mind went a million miles an hours trying to figure out what he did wrong. and each time he came up short.

he loved you like you wanted to be loved.

he treated you like you were the only woman in his life. because you were.

you were everything to him.

so what did he do to deserve you leaving him so randomly?

truthfully, he did nothing wrong. he was so perfect.

so perfect that you felt like you didn’t deserve him.

you took him for granted. and that’s why you felt you weren’t worthy of that love.

you believed that someone else deserved matt’s love.

matt, on the other hand, thought otherwise.

he loved you and you loved him, so why didn’t it work out?

that same question lingered in the back of his mind everyday since you broke up with him. since you left him in the rain outside your house with dying roses in his hands.

since you ignored his calls and texts begging you for a reason. since blocked his number completely, leaving him with that one question sitting in the back of his mind.

why?

in a few minutes, matt would be getting his why. he’d be getting his apology.

now, was he ready for it? not really.

on one hand, he didn’t want to see you. he was fearful that his heart would only break more when he saw your face for the first time in months.

but on the other, he knew he deserved an explanation.

he deserved to know why.

but the minute you walked through the doors of the old diner you two used to visit every friday, he wanted to change his mind.

•••

“hi, matt.”

“hey.”

the silence was loud.

“i’m sorry—“

“why?” he pulled his lips in to force himself to stay strong.

“i’m not sure.” you inhaled softly, “but i do know that i am so sorry, matt.”

he didn’t respond.

both a good and bad thing, you thought.

“in my mind, i was doing the right thing. i didn’t know how much me ending things would affect you, and i’m sorry for that. there’s not much i say to prove that. all i can do is apologize. and i know it’ll be a while until you forgive me, and i completely understand that. but just know— it wasn’t your fault.”

he seemed to let out a sigh of relief at your words.

“what i did was wrong and i will forever regret leaving you, and that’s something i’ll have to deal with because i didn’t realize what i was leaving until it was gone.” you admitted,

“i truly wish we could go back and i can be more careful with your heart and treat you the way you deserve. i just wasn’t ready to take in the love you had to give and that’s okay. but now… you can hopefully move on and eventually forgive me.”

matt let a small smile slip at the short laugh you let out. his eyes were full of understanding. he didn’t know what he understood, exactly. but seeing you now and getting the closure that he was far from at fault, seemed to heal his heart little by little.

but that didn’t mean he too didn’t wish you could go back to the time you spent together before all of this.

[icallhimjoey]

Only Now

♥ ♥          Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader 

Summary: Eddie needs Hawkins, needs his old friends, needs you to ground him every couple of months. And so he visits for a few days in the middle of December and lets all of you pretend you're momentarily back in '88, and it's beautiful, but it hurts. A lot.

Author’s note: Christmas came early @joejoequinnquinn! Surprise! This one's just for you as part of @quinnyfairy's Secret Santa Project; my very first (and maybe last, idk) Eddie fic ever. Hope you enjoy!!

CW / disclaimer: 18+, angsty, swearing (lots), drinking, little smutty sort of, reader celebrates Christmas (some form of it anyway) and also my very first time writing for Eddie so please bear with!

Wordcount: 9.5K

(find all other parts of this story here) God, how you wished you could slow down time. You wanted longer minutes, longer hours. Slower ticking clocks. Maybe even freeze time all together, just so you could relish his company for longer. It felt like the minutes were slipping by in record time and sleeping through them only sped them up even more. So, you laid awake instead, and mentally willed the stretch between each tick of your clock to lengthen as you stared at Eddie next to you.

You were trying to stay quiet. Not let Eddie hear you cry, because you knew if he did, he’d shake his sleep off of him and wouldn’t be able to get back to it. It was only quarter past two, which was far too many hours ‘til morning still, and Eddie needed his sleep. This was likely the last night he'd sleep in an actual bed; for the next few weeks it'd be bunkbeds on buses and couches in dressing rooms.

He looked so soft with his hair braided up and out of his face, still wet from when he’d let you wash it hours earlier. How could you not cry at the sheer sight of him? He’d never let anyone else see him like this, you knew it to be true, and those soft noises he made? The grunts, mumbles and groans his sleep let escape him? Just for you, you were convinced.

You felt a fresh tear roll over the bridge of your nose, and there was no point in wiping it away. You knew it would find your pillow or your covers to disappear into. This was exactly what Steve had warned you about, countless times. He’d said he wouldn’t allow you to slip back and do this all over again, not after the last time, but when Eddie arrived three days ago, you’d seen Steve struggle with the same inner battle. He’d missed Eddie just as much and just as easily would let himself transport back to ’87, ’88.

“He’s here!” Steve had gotten up from the picnic table you’d both been sat on outside of your apartment building as you’d waited for Eddie. Butts perched up on the tabletop, feet on the wooden bench below you, up and away from the cold ground below it, you’d been chatting, and Steve had tried to talk some sense into you before Eddie’s taxi had pulled up.

“I know you think he needs it, but ultimately, you know you shouldn’t let him,” Steve had said, placing blame with you. You shouldn’t let him. Not, Eddie shouldn’t do this.

“I know,” you agreed, but you were the one thinking all your thoughts, feeling all your feelings. Not Steve. You knew very well that you shouldn’t let Eddie come into your world and pretend you were still twenty and fresh-faced for a few days before he’d fuck off and leave you again. But what was the alternative? Have none of Eddie at all? That option seemed much worse.

“I know you know, but it’d be great if you made smart choices. Smarter choices.” Steve referenced the last time Eddie had been in town. He had visited Hawkins for six days last May, and for weeks afterwards, Steve had been busy picking up the pieces of you that you didn’t seem to be able to hold onto yourself. He had to put real effort in to put you back together, slowly but surely, until you felt like a human being again.

Steve was a good friend. It was because Steve also missed Eddie a lot, so he understood on another level, but it also meant he let his mind get cloudy when Eddie was around. Neither of you were part of Eddie’s life anymore, not like you were before he’d left, and neither of you liked that. The three of you had almost joined at the hip, and whenever Steve would hang out with Robin, you and Eddie would play house. Eddie was your not-boyfriend, and you were his not-girlfriend. For all intends and purposes, you were absolutely dating each other. But if someone asked if Eddie was your boyfriend, or if you were his girlfriend, you’d always say no. No. You were just friends. Except you weren’t. But you were.

Now, you were pieces of the puzzle of Hawkins to him, the place he would come back to every couple of months when he’d find the time in between tours. Eddie needed the place to ground himself, to feel like the person he felt he still was on the inside. He would keep that Eddie in his own pocket, but he would always lose that version of himself on stage after doing a few shows. He wouldn’t realise he’d gone missing until he’d smash another TV in a hotel room with strangers who pretended to be his friends, and girls who were only there because he was the Eddie Munson, front man to famous metal band Corroded Coffin. That’s when he’d call Wayne and he would tell him to let everyone know he’d be coming down soon. Make sure Hawkins was ready for him. Lay the red carpets out. And Wayne would chuckle, and then he’d just tell the two of you.

"Munson!" Steve called out as he walked towards the taxi that Eddie had just opened the door of, his arms already opening.

"Harrington!" Eddie called back in the same tone once he stepped out and saw Steve.

Eddie looked absolutely horrible. Like he hadn't stopped continuously drinking and hadn't slept for days. But he smiled, and when Steve jumped him, he hugged him back with strong arms and patting hands.

"Jesus, you smell like the floor of a dive bar," Steve said, and it made Eddie throw his head back with laughter.

They broke into a playful scuffle, half wrestling, half still hugging, poking fingers at each other like teenage boys who didn't know how else to express affection. Their grunting and laughing reached your ears and made you smile. You stayed put, sat on your hands on the picnic table still, not wanting to intrude on their moment together, until Eddie caught your eye over Steve's shoulder.

"You," Eddie pointed, and you saw the glint in his eyes change. Eddie looked at you different, and it made the words Steve had tried so hard to imprint onto you immediately disappear. Eddie was here. And he was looking at you.

"Get your ass over here," Eddie beckoned with wild arms as he started walking towards you himself, leaving Steve to take Eddie's duffle bag from the taxi driver.

You pushed yourself from the bench, and took small steps, but stopped when Eddie started running and looked at you the same way he had looked at Steve when he'd started wrestling him. Full puppy dog energy. You let him crash into you, lift you from your feet and swing you around, legs flailing and voice squealing. Steve was right. Eddie smelled like he'd washed his hair with beer a couple days ago and hadn't touched it since.

"Missed you," Eddie spoke into your hair before planting a kiss there and putting you down. Missed you more, you thought, but couldn't say it. You took a minute to look at him, still in his grip. Eddie looked older, like he had aged twice as fast as you had. There were more lines on his face and his eyes sat a little deeper. His hair lacked shine and his scruff eyed unruly. You wondered how long ago it was since Eddie had eaten a vegetable.

"How long are you staying for?" you asked before saying anything else. Please stay for Christmas, you thought. Please.

"Just a few days," Eddie said, and it pained you that he said it like it was good news. Like he couldn't actually wait to get out of here again. Like that didn't absolutely wreck you.

"Let's head inside, it's fucking freezing," Steve walked past you and broke your moment with Eddie, slinging a protective arm around your shoulder, ensuring that you fell into step together as you made your way inside. You feared you'd shown too much in your face. Things that Steve had definitely spotted, but somehow, Eddie hadn't.

You headed up to Steve's apartment together, Steve decided. In the elevator, Steve pressed the button for his floor, not yours, and the second of quick eye contact between the two of you said enough. Once inside, Eddie immediately asked if it was okay for him to take a quick shower. You know, because he'd been traveling so long, Eddie said. Not because the stench of alcohol really had almost become too overwhelming in the small space of the elevator, and Eddie realised just then how clean and healthy you and Steve looked compared to him, all flushed cheeks, bright eyes, and plump skin.

When Eddie locked the door behind him, you caught your reflection in Steve's hallway mirror and immediately regained your composure; you stood up straight, pulled your shoulders back and relaxed your brow. Eddie was here. You were going to have fun together. Even if it was just for a few days. Maybe even more so because of it, because now it was extra important to make every second count.

"You okay?" Steve saw. You smiled and said you were. Eddie was here now. You did a good job pushing all sadness aside and told it to not pop back up until later. Sometime after Christmas maybe. You could deal with it then. Steve accepted your smile, happy to see you still had it ready for him, but he worried about you anyway.

"Where is he?"

It was much later, and Robin used her spare key to let herself into Steve's apartment, not bothering to announce her arrival by ringing the doorbell, not willing to wait for someone else to let her in. You saw Eddie smile, mouth full of pizza still, as he immediately got up from where he was sat on the floor by the coffee table.

Robin walked in, hidden inside a heavy coat, under a wool beanie and wrapped up in a thick scarf. Whatever pieces of hair you could see were wet from the snow that had started coming down late afternoon and hadn't stopped since.

"Oh my God, it's famous rockstar Eddie Munson!" Robin shrieked and bounced as Eddie leant in to hug her tight. He lifted her up, just like he'd done with you, except Robin didn't get any spins or whispers placed into her hair. "Steve!" she called over Eddie's shoulder. "You've got someone famous in your home!"

"All right," Eddie laughed bashfully, "It's just the town's freak today, I’m afraid."

"Yea, a freak who apparently is now friends with Alanis Morissette?! What the fuck, Eddie?" Robin punched Eddie in the arm.

"I've met her once," Eddie argued as he sat back down, looking at you and rolling his eyes. It was aimed at Robin, but he made sure she couldn't see, and you giggled together.

You spent the evening chatting, eating, and drinking. Drinks that Eddie turned down with a swift, "Nah, I'm good, thanks," and you wondered if he didn't touch a single drop just because Steve had made that comment about his scent earlier.

Robin was her chaotic cheerful self and couldn't stop asking Eddie questions. It meant you got to sit back and listen, bask in the company of your friends. As the hours passed, you turned more into the people you once were, and you couldn't help but love every second of it. Steve started using pet names he hadn't used in ages. Robin made sarcastic jokes at the expense of others so skillfully, no one minded them at all. Eddie grew more theatrical in the way you knew him to be, silly, loud, enthusiastic, and stupid, just the way you liked him most. The second you'd stop giggling, someone would do or say something that would get you reared right back up again, and you'd all join in, smug faces with dumb smiles. You weren't sure if you also became more of the girl you once were, or what that even looked like, but you were having fun, and that was all that mattered.

"Where are you staying?" Robin asked Eddie, like she didn't already know. Maybe she didn't, you thought for a second, because why else would she even bring it up? Maybe it was just polite conversation as she started getting ready to go home and brace the cold once more.

"I think–" Eddie squeezed his eyes shut for a second, before cocking his head your way. "–there's a very comfortable couch made up somewhere in this building for me," Eddie smiled. You nodded because he was right. You had fashioned your couch into a comfortable guest bed, but all four of you knew that there wasn't a chance Eddie was going to use it. There was no reason for you to have gotten the extra pillows, duvets, and sheets out, but you had done it anyway. If not to fool anyone else, then at least to fool yourself.

And fool yourself you did. But only for a minute.

"I've got extra blankets here if you need them. Another pillow too, if that one's too firm," you gestured at a closet as Eddie dropped his duffle bag onto your made-up couch. He looked around a second. You'd made the couch look very cosy, and Eddie almost pouted at the effort you'd put in. But then he looked towards the hallway, and without saying anything, let his feet follow his gaze. He just walked right out. You heard him flip the light switch in your bedroom, followed by the soft sound of a thud to your mattress, and then a heavy blissful sigh.

You knew you shouldn't. But you also knew you absolutely would.

Without putting up a fight, without even trying to pretend this wasn’t what you wanted, you got into bed with Eddie and let him pull you close. Eddie hugged you, face to face, and you hugged him back, clinging. Almost as if a hunger inside you that hadn't been stilled in months finally found its satisfaction. All your senses were being fed with all things Eddie, and you reveled in his embrace. Eddie felt strong, but somehow frail too, which was a little troubling. And he smelled like Steve's shampoo, which was a lot troubling. But he was warm, and you were held. It was so very welcoming. So needed. You hugged each other like you used to do all the time, and you nuzzled into him, your nose pressing firmly into his neck. Something in your chest slotted into place, and it felt right.

"Why are you sad?" Eddie asked after a few beats of silence. It was earnest and sober. A question he'd never ask you if you weren't alone together. In the dark, together.

You hated that he'd seen it within you. But how could he not have?

"I'm not," you whispered, and Eddie didn't believe you, but pulled you closer in response. "Go to sleep, you look like you need it," you didn't want to talk anymore. One of Eddie's hands searched to find one of yours to grab onto. To squeeze. And he would've kissed you if he hadn't been so tired.

"Is it the memories?" Eddie asked the darkness that surrounded you, revealing he still knew you better than you knew yourself. Memories had their way of rearing up and sinking their teeth into your present, and you hadn't yet figured out how to not let them hurt you.

Just to put the matter to rest, and because you didn't want to lie to Eddie, you agreed. "It's the memories."

Eddie moved a little before you felt and heard a kiss close to your ear. "I'm here." And he was.

The next morning you woke up being the small spoon to Eddie's big spoon. Eddie had himself wrapped all around you, a leg slung over you up so high, its thigh covered your hip. His nose pressed into your neck where his lips were fluttering soft kisses that tickled you awake slowly. It was the best wake up call you'd gotten in a while, and you pretended you were still asleep, just so the moment would last you longer.

You wanted to take whatever you could get, knowing you would only be able to have it for a short amount of time. It would absolutely ruin you the next time you'd wake up in your bed alone, but you were too greedy for it now not to bask in it. Swim in it forever. Let it bubble around you, like in a hot tub.

Eddie let a hand roam underneath your shirt. They were slow, soft fingers, cool against your skin, but the stroke of them gratifying. Instead of going for a squeeze - which you were totally expecting, you knew Eddie - he pressed his flat palm right in the middle of your chest, catching cleavage, but mostly monitoring your heart rate.

He curled around you more, tightened his arms and pulled you in closer, using the hand over your heart to push you into him. You let him do whatever he wanted, and tried to control your breathing as best you could. He then found a spot on your neck to lick, and just like Eddie predicted, it made your heart beat faster instantly. He knew you were awake.

"Good morning," Eddie's voice vibrated impossibly low and sensual, and it sent a shiver down your spine.

Eddie tilted his hips and your breathe caught and shattered. You could feel him press up against you, impossibly hard for you, and it made you want to push back into him more. You didn't move, though, and instead kept your eyes closed and your hands in place. You knew what would happen if you did push back into him; if you did let your hands wander where they were itching to go.

You took a deep breath to shake it off and you felt Eddie do the same. With his face nuzzled into your neck still, Eddie was inhaling you, and you felt him rock his hips into you once more.

You couldn't. Not yet, anyway. Because Steve was in your mind still, with important words of advice you promised you'd guard yourself with when it would eventually come down to this.

Eddie sensed your apprehension and stopped, halting everything he was doing. His hand immediately slipped from your top and his leg moved down yours a little which freed you from the death grip he'd had on you. His common sense returned too abruptly for your liking, though, and you whined at your sudden loss of him. Eddie immediately regretted the severe, quick change in his demeanor. To make it up to you, he lifted himself over you far enough to press a warm, sweet kiss onto your cheek.

"Did you sleep OK?" Eddie sounded much more awake this time.

It was a good thing Eddie got up and out of bed. Every minute you spent in Eddie's arms like that, only made you want it more. He didn't necessarily need to climb out on your side of the bed, though, but the way he had rolled over you, pushing you down into the mattress as roughly as he could whilst muttering, "oh, sorry, just sneaking past, excuse me, sorry," injected humor into your morning together.

It was only a few hours later that you were absolutely freezing your tits off, watching Eddie and Dustin who were quite literally frollicking in the park. It didn't matter how old they were, or how old they'd ever be; these boys would lay their eyes upon each other, and energy would just shoot into their legs. They were running, shouting at each other and laughing loudly. After five minutes of flinging powdery snow and trying to make one another topple over to get a full face of it, you saw the beginnings of little snowballs that they then started rolling into bigger ones.

It was so cold. You had your gloved hands tucked deeply into the pockets of your coat, your chin dipped into your scarf and your face displayed a permanent grimace as it dealt with the biting breeze it couldn't escape.

"Are they... are they seriously going to build a snowman?"

Mike stood next to you, same grimace displayed on his face, shivering even more than you were. He was still just as lanky as he'd been in high school. Tall, thin, unproportionally long limbs and barely any bodyfat at all. Mike wasn't built to keep himself even slightly warm in cold winters like this one. He was too cool for school, too. Too cool to join Dustin and Eddie in their play, so he watched them from the sidelines, just like you did.

"Do you want to go get a coffee?" you asked Mike, turning your full body instead of just your face to look at him, desperate for some warmth and for some caffeine.

"Guys!" Mike called over. "Wanna go grab a coffee?"

You smiled a small smile to yourself. You would've absolutely left Eddie and Dustin for a moment to get a coffee alone with Mike, but Mike clearly didn't think walking off with only you was even an option. It was all right. You and Mike weren't friends. You understood if Mike thought it'd be awkward.

Neither Eddie nor Dustin reacted to Mike's question. They were too busy making sure their ball of snow didn't collapse in on itself. You saw some of Eddie's wet hair strands stick to his face, mouth open as he breathed heavily, letting Dustin tell him how to use his hands in swiping motions to get the shape right. Both of their jeans had big wet patches at the knees and you wondered how cold and uncomfortable they were going to be for the rest of the day. Mike let a weird, sort of judgmental laugh escape his throat before he shook his head. You grinned at Mike. Where Dustin was so openly a fan of Eddie, Mike quietly tried to hide his - to you - obvious admiration for Eddie. You guessed Mike was secretly way more impressed with him than he let on, and desperately wanted to impress Eddie himself too. Dustin was the guy who would unashamedly pin a poster of Eddie up onto his wall, happily displaying that he was friends with Eddie Munson and was so very proud of him. Mike was the guy who thought that putting up posters was definitely not cool, but instead would try to casually name drop Eddie any time he could.

"Well," Mike said. "At least they're having fun," and it didn't sound like a comment Mike would make, but more like he thought it was a good thing to say in the moment. To fill the silence he didn't know how else to fill. And in a desperate attempt to keep conversation with you going, Mike's mind came up with a question he asked before his brain had even thought of what your reaction to it could be.

"What's it like having your boyfriend back?" Mike asked, and you felt your chest tighten, but were incredibly quick to respond. It was like you'd kept the answer ready in your mouth, because you anticipated someone saying something along the lines of what Mike just said.

"Eddie's not my boyfriend."

You'd said the same thing so many times in your teens that you instantly felt transported back in time a bit. You always fully believed yourself when you said that you and Eddie weren't dating, wholly trusted that you were speaking the truth. But it also always hurt you. It was a sentence that scratched at your insides with long, sharp nails that could puncture your flesh if you weren't careful.

"Ex-boyfriend, sorry," Mike corrected himself like he knew what he was talking about.

"Not that either."

You wondered if Mike thought it had been weird when you and Eddie had walked up holding hands, especially if he also thought that you used to date a long time ago. What kind of ex-lovers held hands still?

You hid yourself into your shoulders a bit more and felt how you had lost complete feeling in your toes. Mike frowned at you in confusion. He'd been around you when you were younger. He looked up to Eddie then, and still did now, and where ever Eddie was, you would be too. Robin would shout inappropriate jokes about you in public places all the time. Mike remembered how Eddie had ran after you once, just to squeeze your ass with both his hands, and you'd just turned around and smiled at him. You had let Eddie stop you, even though you were late for something already, and Mike had heard how Robin softly said to Steve that you were definitely fucking each other, which had made Steve scoff loudly. "No, they're not!" Steve had exclaimed. But then they all saw how you looped fingers through a belt hoop on Eddie's jeans to pull him closer into you, and Robin had given Steve a look that said, see? And Steve had stared for a moment before stuttering, "Oh, so, maybe they are...".

"We've never dated," you stated, sensing Mike's confusion with your eyes back on Dustin and Eddie who had now seemingly found themselves in a snowball fight. Dustin hid behind what was starting to look like a snowman, but seemed abandoned now. They wouldn't finish it, you knew it, and that was okay, because numbness was starting to creep up your ankles and you really wanted coffee.

"Eddie!" you called. You saw him freeze and perk up to look at you, like a startled meerkat, big brown eyes locked right onto you and awaited what you were going to say next.

"Coffee!" you beckoned him with your whole upper body, unwilling to take your hands from your pockets, and Eddie came running immediately, under loud protest of Dustin and Mike. Because Dustin didn't want coffee. And Mike was so annoyed that Eddie hadn't listened to him when he called them over earlier.

You started walking and your numb feet felt weird in your shoes, but the movement in your legs was very welcoming. You fell into step with Mike and let Eddie and Dustin catch up with you. When Eddie got close, all wet hair and wild eyes, he latched onto your back and let out a shaking breath as he shivered up against you. He tried to sneak his hands into your pockets alongside yours, shoving them in, bunching up the sleeves of his coat as he did, and finding warmth there. He squeezed your hands through your gloves, and then you walked together like that, like that didn't make you love Eddie more than you already did.

"You can hold Mike," Eddie smiled when you felt Dustin's peering eyes burning holes into the two of you, and a short silence followed before Mike took off running. "Come here, Mike! Cuddle me!" Dustin shouted, as he chased after him and Eddie took the moment to sneak a kiss onto your temple as you laughed and let it fill your chest with pure love for him. Eddie was here.

That evening, you met Steve outside Wayne's trailer before all three of you headed in and enjoyed Wayne's cooking together. The trailer hadn't changed much – some obvious things were different, of course. There was no more fold-up bed in the corner of the living room. It wasn't as messy without all Eddie's things slung about. And it also wasn't as smelly inside – Eddie was never allowed to smoke indoors, but Wayne made long hours, and rules never really stopped Eddie. It was good that the trailer felt different, you thought. It made it feel less like you were a teenager still. Less like you'd traveled back in time.

You sat together, and ate Wayne's homemade meatloaf. "It's the only thing I can make that's decent enough," Wayne undersold his signature dish, like he always did. "Please tell me you have more that I can take with me," Eddie said through a mouthful, and with every bite he took, you thought Eddie looked better. Healthier, with more colour to his cheeks and more life in his eyes.

You ate until you couldn't anymore, you reminisced and you laughed. You didn't think you'd ever seen Wayne laugh the way he did when he told the story of how he once caught Steve sneaking out, trying to climb out of a window unsuccessfully, high as a kite, whilst the door right next to the window was wide open. Wayne laughed so hard, it squeezed tears from his eyes and he could barely make it through the story.

You saw Eddie lean back in his chair, his grin wide, love swelling his chest and flaring his ribcage as he looked at his uncle. He almost looked drunk with love and admiration, and for a second you thought Eddie had just invited you over for dinner at Wayne's because he knew that Wayne loved traveling back in time just as much as he did.

You all helped clean up before Wayne had to leave for his shift at work, and just before he walked out the door, Wayne spoke to you like you were all 16 and about to stay the night over at Eddie's.

"You let your parents know you're here?"

You and Steve looked at each other with stupid smiles, and then both nodded. "Yes, Mr Munson."

"There's pop in the fridge, and there's microwave popcorn, but don't let Eddie touch it, or he'll burn the place down."

There was still a black scorch mark in the kitchen from when Eddie had literally nearly burned the place down. All of your eyes found it, and you saw Eddie grin with a little guilt hidden underneath. It was nice to be at an age where you could joke about things Wayne had been so angry about at the time that they had happened, you could feel it bubble in your stomach and saw Steve almost burst from the strain of barely withheld laughter.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," these were words meant just for you, because Wayne knew they were rendered useless on Eddie and on Steve.

"And boys, look after her." and those were words meant just for Steve and for Eddie, because Wayne knew your parents and he always worried what they thought of you being over in his trailer without adult supervision.

"We will." Steve and Eddie spoke in unison, their tones entirely different from each other. Wayne smiled the smallest of smiles, having greatly enjoyed stepping back into the little routine, and left the three of you alone.

"Movie?" Steve then asked. "For old time's sake?"

And it was so stupid. Because sat on the couch together, it felt like nothing had changed in over ten years. You stared at Wayne's little old shitty TV that he still had, "Still works fine, don't need to replace things that aren't broken," and you picked a movie from a stack of tapes that still held exactly the same titles it did ten years ago. No new additions, everything the same, just labels more faded. You'd sat down in a corner of the couch and pulled your legs up, only for Eddie and Steve to immediately protest.

"I'm not middle-seating it,"

"Move,"

And so you were pulled and pushed into the center of the couch, one boy either side of you, and you sat through a full movie, not paying attention to a single thing that happened in it. Because you were sat next to Eddie, and it was freezing outside, but Eddie was warm - he was all you could feel and all you could think about. And at one point, Eddie's hand that was resting over the back of the couch fell onto your shoulder. And when Steve wasn't looking, Eddie used it to pull you into him and you snuggled up. But then when Steve did look, he didn't even seem fazed. Didn't even mention it. Because this was what it had always been like, and Steve loved his friends all the same, whether they were touching each other, or not.

That's when you felt her take over; your teenage self. You were her, all open, unrestrained and naive in all the best ways. You sighed and sunk into yourself, because you'd missed her. And you knew that she would fight adult-you if you were to deny a kiss from Eddie. Because that was how these nights always ended, didn't they?

Except this night, it didn't, because you weren't actually your teenage self with endless pits of energy within you, and you'd had a long day. It didn't help that whatever you were watching didn't interest you at all, and Eddie's breathing was rhythmic and deep. The last thing you remembered was Eddie and Steve make soft conversation over you as you'd let your eyes close. They said things about the movie. There was small talk about Wayne. You tried to stay awake, hoped that maybe you'd catch them exchange words about you, but you drifted off faster than you could grasp in the moment.

You stirred awake when you felt someone pull you upright by your arms and then guided them to sling over their shoulders. Then there were arms that wrapped around your waist, and a soft restricted groan close to your ear as you got hoisted up off of the couch.

"Mmhm?" So tired.

"Come on, we're getting you into the car," Eddie whispered, and you heard Steve huff a tiny laugh through his nose.

You moved your legs to walk, because you absolutely could walk, but strong hands underneath your thighs held you up and in place. A coat got draped around you, over you, covering you as best it could.

"Tie my scarf," Eddie softly instructed Steve. "So it won't fall," and you felt how something tied around the back of your neck that pulled with Eddie's movement, and you imagined the woven wool tied the two of you together. When Steve opened the door, a cold gust of wind ruined every little bit comfortability and you tightened your koala-grip around Eddie.

"Steve started the car 5 minutes ago, it'll only be cold for a second."

The next morning you woke up on your couch with your face pressed into Eddie’s back. Your made-up couch, where Eddie had placed you down onto the cool sheets after insisting that he also carried you into your apartment when Steve had driven you all back to your building. You’d accepted every touch and every hold with your eyes closed and your limbs slack. Steve had whispered good night when you got out of the elevator at your floor, and Eddie had suggested you could have breakfast together the next day.

“Why are we on the couch?” your voice, thick with sleep, spoke into the dark morning.

You obviously remembered going to sleep on the couch, but only just now wondered why exactly Eddie hadn't taken you into the bedroom, where you'd probably both be much more comfortable, would have a lot more space.

“Couldn’t let it go to waste,” Eddie’s voice was gravelly, like he’d been screaming into a microphone on a stage all night, or like he had a really bad cold. "You made it look very nice."

You pressed your lips against Eddie’s shoulder blade over his T-shirt. It wasn't a kiss per se, but a nice place to just rest your mouth for a little bit. You inhaled Eddie, his scent unmistakably him and you felt him snuggle backwards a little into you more. Confusion struck. You knew this fabric. You smelled your own laundry detergent in the mix of all things Eddie and leant back to get a better look at what he was wearing.

“Are you… are you wearing your old hellfire club T-shirt?”

“Mmh, found it in your pajama drawer,”

Eddie had caught a glimpse his old T-shirt and hadn’t hesitated to put it on, dressing himself in nostalgia, knowing it would fill his cup all the way up to the brim. How could it not? He had just watched a film in the trailer with you and Steve. He had spent the day fucking around with Dustin and Mike. And now, wearing his old T-shirt to bed? This is exactly the type of shit he went to Hawkins for. The type of shit he needed. That grounded him. It pulled him off his pedestal and forced him into his authentic self.

After pulling the T-shirt over his head, he had slid onto the couch next to you, and made sure he positioned himself lower than you, pressing his head underneath your chin. Let you hold him. Made him feel smaller. Younger. Like his old, teenage self.

"Is today your last day?" you loved Eddie in his hellfire club T-shirt. It transformed him more into the Eddie that you knew, inside and out.

"Alive? I hope not," Eddie was quick witted, but you didn't appreciate the joke and stayed silent. Eddie picked up on it immediately.

"They're picking me up tomorrow, yea,"

Eddie said it too neutrally. No emotion or feeling behind his words. You wondered which end of the scale he was on; was he ready to get out of here, or did he maybe wish he could have a little more time? It was probably the former, you thought, and you let it hurt your chest, regretting even thinking about it in the first place. You tightened your hold on Eddie. Pressed your cheek into his back more. You needed to burrow; disappear into everything that was overwhelmingly Eddie for as long as he would let you.

"Do you want to get up?" Eddie asked after a while, his voice suddenly normal, no trace of sleep left at all.

"No," you muffled into his T-shirt, and you felt his body shake with silent laughter.

"Come here,"

You were already there, you thought, but Eddie started shifting to turn around and maneuvered you underneath the covers until you were practically on top of him. He hugged you tightly to his body and you laid like that for a while. Eddie would sometimes kiss your head, swirl his nose into your hair and you could feel how your breathing started syncing up. Like you locked together, somehow. They were blissful moments of nothingness, just the two of you, and you wished they could last forever. You tilted your head and looked up, and without permission or the right, Eddie stole the chance to press kisses to your cheek, creeping closer to your mouth with every single one he planted onto you. You felt yourself at the far end of a bridge, and with every millimeter Eddie got closer to your mouth, you could envision him take big steps across it. You held the power to halt him, make him stop somewhere midway, but he was running, and you really wanted him to crash into you.

Eddie kissed you. It was slow and lazy. It felt dangerously familiar in all the right ways and all the wrong ways at once. Morning kisses turned into morning making out and you felt flutters all throughout your lower stomach that you tried very hard to ignore. Until you couldn't anymore, and you caught yourself, smiled into your kiss and forced it to break.

"Eddie, I don't think..." you started, but breathed as you looked at his mouth. Words faltered you entirely, because Eddie's mouth was there, and it wanted to kiss you, and God, wasn't that exactly what you yearned for?

"I know," Eddie knew exactly what you meant, not needing to hear the words to understand them. "I know."

When you heard a key turn in your front door, Eddie and you were still wrapped up in sheets together. "Steve." Eddie warned, and you knew he was right, immediately shooting up from the couch and scurrying into the kitchen. You pretended you were making coffee when Steve stepped into your living room. Steve was dressed, but the bedhead on him revealed he'd not been awake long at all.

"Breakfast?"

You made toast, and you scrambled some eggs – even parted some oranges for Eddie and Steve. Breakfast was enjoyed mostly in silence, and it was comfortable, just the three of you chewing, sipping, occasionally yawning and stretching. You all shared tired eyes and eventually talked about your plans for the day. Steve said Robin had time to hang out, and Eddie said he wanted to be outside. Go for a walk. See Hawkins in the snow some more, because it looked so nice, all dirt and grime covered up by thick blankets of shimmering white.

When Eddie went to the toilet, Steve eyed you for a second and then sighed loudly. He was annoyed with a capital A and his frown translated it loud and clear.

"It's worse this time, isn't it?" he scoffed, having observed you long enough to know he was right. "Why did you let it get worse?"

You were quick to shoot him down, not wanting to get into it right now. If you did, you'd argue, because it felt unfair for Steve to keep shifting all blame onto you when it was never just you, was it?

"Stop. Everything's fine," you actively gaslit him, and you were very aware of it too.

"Your bed looks extremely untouched in there, you're not fooling anyone," Steve pointed in the direction of your bedroom, having seen your pristine made up bed from the hallway when he'd walked in. Steve could deal with the two of you sharing a bed, but the couch felt different. The thought of you sharing a big bed left Steve the chance to at least pretend you both kept to your own sides of it with your backs towards each other. Finding Eddie untangling himself from the sheets on the couch, and your pajamas all twisted up around your body made him put two and two together. It's wasn't a hard puzzle to solve.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow," you got up and started clearing the table, desperate for this chat with Steve to end.

"Yes, we will, when I come over to peel you from your bathroom tiles, crying shell of a person," Steve seemed angry with you, spat his words with venom. You understood it was just worries from a friend, but all you wanted to do was get angry in return, even if it made no sense.

"Steve, I-" you hissed, but stopped yourself when you heard your toilet flush. It was just glares from the both of you then, eyes shooting daggers, calling each other names that couldn't reach Eddie's ears.

That afternoon, Robin had picked the three of you up and parked somewhere close to Lovers Lake. It had completely frozen over. You were about to say you should've all brought ice skates, but Robin was already on the ice. She took slow steady steps, unsure, and a little shaky. Steve followed, a lot more confident, and when the ice didn't crack when he jumped to demonstrate how thick it was, you and Eddie stepped on too. You held onto Eddie on the slippery ice and slid quite far out together, following Steve and Robin who figured out they could run without slipping or falling. They were laughing, chasing each other, and spinning in circles around you. Robin slid over and almost bumped into you, "I've not figured out how to stop yet," and took hold of both of your hands before she started running backwards, speeding up as she dragged you along. The thrill had you shrieking, and it was fun, even though there wasn't a single second you didn't think you were going to fall and hurt yourself.

When Robin slowed down a little, it gave you a chance to look over your shoulder, and you could see Steve and Eddie talk. You were too far away to hear them, too far away to even read their faces properly, but Steve seemed sad as he spoke, and Eddie seemed annoyed as he listened.

You asked Robin if she knew what they were talking about, and she giggled, "Probably confessing their undying love for each other," making you laugh. When the four of you joined each other again with flushed faces and cold fingers, you started on your way back to get off the ice, and Eddie seemed more distant.

Eddie didn't grab a hold of you the way you would've wanted him to. Eddie didn't reach for your hand to hold, even though his legs still seemed just as unsteady and wobbly. Eddie didn't wrap an arm around your shoulders as you walked back through the woods to where Robin had parked her car. And Eddie didn't want to sit in the backseat with you, calling shotgun and running the last few steps to the car to ensure his place in the front.

There was only one thing you could conclude; Steve had tried to be a good friend to you, had tried to let Eddie know to back off a bit, maybe. And you loved your good friend Steve, but could strangle him in the moment. All you had were glares for him from your spot in the car behind Eddie, which Steve pretended he didn't see, and Robin caught in the rearview mirror.

That evening, around 8pm, you all stepped into The Hideout, and you were a little shocked at the welcome you got. The welcome Eddie got. There were maybe 15 people, and the place had seemed quiet, people minding their own business, but when eyes landed on Eddie, everyone seemed up on their feet and he was hauled in like the super star he was.

Eddie was given drinks by strangers, talked to by everyone, all at once, and asked by the young band playing that night to sign their instruments. Random men patted him on the back, acted like they were long lost friends, and talked to him like they knew Eddie - talked to him like Eddie knew them.

It was overwhelming to witness, let alone be the guy who has to take it all in, and you sighed a breath of relief when you saw Steve had been able to grab a little table a bit further into the back for the four of you. Away from the bright lights that surrounded the bar. Away from the band who had already pulled Eddie up on stage and had pressed a guitar into his hands, "One song, Eddie! Come on!" and who was he to deny these young boys a little bit of fun?

When he stepped off stage after playing three, four, maybe even five songs, you touched Eddie's arm and pointed out where you were sat. Eddie just handed you the two drinks he'd already been handed by strangers and told you he'd be there in a second. Eddie took his time talking to anyone that wanted to talk to him. This was rockstar Eddie. Famous Eddie Munson. Eddie who lived somewhere high up on a pedestal. You admired him, because he was everything Eddie would've looked up to when he was younger, and now he had made it.

You admired him, were so proud of him, but you weren't sure if you necessarily liked him.

When Eddie eventually joined you, the four of you chatted, laughed, flipped coasters off the edge of the table and tried to catch them after just one rotation. Robin could stack several up and flip them all together, catching them all in one swift move, and you all tried to see if you could too, but made coasters fly instead. Eddie dared Steve to get on stage, sit behind the drumkit, give a dumb ba-dum-tss as if someone had just told him a bad joke. Steve called bluff on Robin when she said she was going to order a shot and try to get a girl's phone number. You went and got more drinks for all of you, and the bartender gave them to you for free, waved at Eddie in the back and made you wish you'd ordered more expensive drinks instead of just four beers.

The night was all giggles and pure joy, and you loved every second the four of you spent together so much, it made you forget that Eddie was leaving the next day. Eddie was there now, and that was all you really had, and all that really mattered.

Steve ended up being the first to leave and Robin dipped out not much later. It was only just past 11 when Eddie asked the owner to call a taxi for the two of you, and you finished your drinks in silence, Eddie's hand on your thigh, smiling stupid smirks and catching stolen glances. You knew where the night was headed, and you gladly let Eddie lead the way.

You made your way into your apartment by the sheer sense of intuition alone. You hadn't broken from one another since stepping into the elevator, and letting yourself into your apartment was a messy, fumbling, frustrating task, because Eddie wouldn't stop kissing you, and you liked how he pushed you up against the door too much. 

Getting to your bed eventually, you let Eddie push you back onto your mattress. A knee pressed into the springs in between your legs and he hovered over you with his hair cascading down, giving you tunnel vision. All you could see, feel, smell, hear and taste was Eddie. 

"Let's get you what you need,"

You moaned as you let him, taking all of what he was willing to give you in the moment. Eddie was all soft, caressing fingers with a caring mind that searched for a condom before getting himself anywhere near you. All attentive eyes and thoughtful lips. Until he wasn't. Until he grew rough. You could feel him slowly shift into the guy who you'd seen hold a guitar that night. The man he turned into when he stepped on stage. All confidence, all ego. You knew he wasn't just giving you what he thought you needed. Eddie was taking from you what he wanted and asked no permission, because he knew he already had it.

Eddie went for a shower after, and you hadn't hesitated to join him, unwilling to leave his side during these last few moments that you had with him. Eddie let you wash his hair, let himself melt under your massaging touch and the hot stream of water. He let you charge the last little bit of his inner battery, unaware he was draining yours simultaneously. You asked if you could braid his hair after combing it with him sat on the floor, one of your knees on either side of his shoulders, and he had just hummed, drowning in the bliss of having someone touch him like this. You french braided his hair out of his face and made sure his curl pattern would look nice when he'd undo them. Eddie curled his arms around your legs, and you knew it was the last bit of past Eddie you were going to get from him. Come tomorrow morning, he'd see one of his band members and he'd take the foot he still kept in the past and would scrape it along gravel towards his future. You had only now.

And now... here you were.

It was just past two in the morning, and Eddie was asleep in your bed whilst you were staring at him with tears escaping your eyes, willing time to slow down until it stopped entirely. You honestly really didn't mean to wake up him. You didn't. But you couldn't help the small sob that escaped you, even though you really tried, and you held your breath right after in hopes of the silence compensating it enough. 

But Eddie had heard you. Caught you, eyes blinking open and meeting the worst version of you. It was the wrong time and the wrong place to meet this version of you, and you mentally kicked yourself for it. Thick, salty tears had left your face wet, and when Eddie cupped your cheek with his hand, he felt what he hadn’t already been able to see in the dark.  

The adult in you didn’t want to argue, didn’t want to wake Eddie up any more than you had already done. The adult in you wanted Eddie to live his life for himself, the way he had been doing for the past however many years, chasing dreams he had never been able to shut up about when you were younger. The adult in you wanted success for Eddie in every single form he would accept it.  

But your teenage self kicked your adult self in the shins and shouted, "Fuck what you want, what about what I want?". You wanted to argue. To talk, at least. Be selfish in the moment and let go of what you held trapped in your heart, even if you knew Eddie wouldn’t know what to do with it – wouldn’t even really like it.  

"Stay."

Eddie didn’t hesitate, not even in this state of being half-asleep half-awake, and said, "I can’t stay."

"Please, stay. Stay for Christmas." You sniffed loudly, almost doing it on purpose to manipulate him into feeling sad for you. To show you some empathy and to indulge you in your need for him. 

"You know, I can’t stay, baby." Eddie made it sound softer that time, added a pet name, and hummed right after. 

You knew he meant he didn’t want to stay. Hawkins wasn’t Eddie’s present, or future for that matter. It was Eddie’s past; the past where he would step one foot back into every couple of months. The past he had to revisit in order to keep his future bright as he would stare at it up ahead. The second the mental image of his future started dulling, Eddie dove head first into his past, into you, until the sun would come back out. Then, he’d be off again.  

"That’s okay, I don’t want you to."

You sent mixed signals, but you meant them. Both were true. If Eddie didn't want to stay, you didn't want to keep him there. Eddie frowned with a type of confidence you didn’t appreciate.

"Lies."  

"I want you to stay if it’s not going to hold you back. I want you to stay because you want to stay. Maybe… maybe we shouldn’t..." You paused and tried to let your mind find the right words.

"Anymore." You added.

"This." You finished.

Eddie let the silence linger for longer than you liked, and the confidence you had seen in Eddie's expression faltered slightly. Just a little. Just enough for you to have seen it in the dark.

"You know I love you right?" Eddie tried saving it, but you didn't know if Eddie even knew what he was trying to save exactly.

"That doesn’t change anything. Love doesn’t make you stay for Christmas."

"I’ll stay for Christmas." Eddie moved in closer to you, pulled you into him to cuddle, to hold you as you cried. He wanted to give you this fantasy for a moment if it would get you through the night in one piece.

"You can’t." you protested, already ripping at the seams.

"I can’t." Eddie sighed.

Overnight, Eddie had changed from the guy who held you as you cried, to the guy who left your apartment with all of his things without waking you up to say goodbye.

Eddie had been there, jammed up high, all the way up in all of your senses until, very abruptly, he wasn't anymore.

Eddie was gone, and he had taken your teenage self with him, leaving you hollow, empty, barren, bleak, and lifeless.

Eddie was gone, and you let your hands reach for him across your mattress, feeling sharp pains in your chest when you didn't feel him there, your apartment was quiet.

Eddie was gone, and he had taken every trace of himself, like he had never even been there to begin with. Except for one thing. You knew it would be there. He always left one, and why would this time be different? You reached up for it without even opening your eyes, letting your fingers find it on the pillow where he'd rested his head before he'd walked out on you.

A little note.

A small message to leave you with. A message that was meant to hold you over until you'd see him again. But would you? See him again?

You cracked open eyes that were already wet and let them adjust, blink into focus, to read what words Eddie felt would excuse his absence.

"Merry Christmas x"

Eddie was gone. And so were you. Read the sequel: Over Now

-----

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New Endings - Part 6

A/N: I know it's been a while but I promise I haven't abandoned this story (although it might seem like that since I started on this chapter in december already). I want to thank every single one of you who have supported this serie and I hope you still will... because it's not done yet 👀 Little note: there are a few lines from an earlier chapter, these are marked like this. There's also a little flashback that has not been in any of the chapters, these lines are marked like this.

Warnings: Angst, abuse/domestic violence, threatening, mentions of a gun, swearing, injuries.

Word count: 3.7k

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART

The cold morning rain hit harshly against her face without any mercy while the hard wind made it almost difficult to breath. The storm reflected the one of insecurity and doubt that was raging inside her.

It would only take a few more minutes until she’d reach the house that once held so much joy. She pressed her quickly gathered belongings closer to her soaked coat while thinking about what would happen the moment she would knock on the door.

None of her thoughts held anything positive.

As the house came in sight she noticed it was eerie quiet. Maybe he was still asleep, it was very early after all. She took a deep breath before passing trough the small gate and making her way to the door. Hesitation made her hand stop mid air, her knuckles inches away from touching the wooden door.

She felt the water drip down her face into the puddles that had formed on the tiles, slowly shaking her out of her thoughts. There was no way back, she had said her last goodbyes to Tommy and now had to face David.

Her knuckles hit the door a few times, awaiting the answer from the other side. A few seconds turned into a few minutes before she knocked again. Her trembling body waited for an answer once again, one that didn’t came.

Maybe he wasn’t home.

She decided to make her way to the back of the house until all of sudden she heard the door creak. The beating of her heart sped up as she watched the door open, standing eye to eye with the man who she feared.

“David-“

“Are you here to tell me that you succeeded already?” The confused look in his eyes quickly turned into an intimidating one as his eyes scanned her thoroughly.

“I-“

“Or did he kick you out? I mean what else did you expect to happen?” He spoke calmly but his words were laced with venom. He stepped aside, making room for her to enter. “Come in, before you get sick.”

He caught the insecure look in her eyes as she hesitated to set her feet inside, his demeanor softening in an instant. “Go get changed, you’re soaked.” His words sounded genuine but scared her more than any threat that had came her way. She walked past him into the house, the warmth of it welcoming her. She carefully put her belongings down on the table before taking off her coat. She watched David as he stood on the other side of the table.

“Well? How is Thomas Shelby?” He asked while crossed his arms. “I didn’t do it.” She answered the first questioned he had asked her at the door. He slowly shook his head as he approached her, his hand cupping her cheek. “What is it with you and all your bad decisions lately, hm?”

She swallowed harshly. “I don’t want to get involved.” David chuckled humorlessly. “It’s a bit late for that now, don’t you think?”

“Please I-“

His hand left her face, her eyes focusing on his, begging him to leave her alone. “Go upstairs and get rid of those wet clothes.” He ordered while taking a step back. “I’ll make you a bath.” Noticing her hesitation he spoke up once again. “Go on.” She nodded slowly before making her way upstairs.

A couple of documents were slammed on Tommy’s desk with a loud bang, his aunt’s hand still resting on top of them. He looked up at her, an unbothered look on his face as far as being unbothered went. “I gathered everything you need, don’t you dare telling me I was wrong.” Her brown eyes were laced with anger and annoyance, staring directly into her nephew’s eyes before taking her hand off the papers. He kept her gaze, a burning cigarette in his hand, not saying a single word. “I’ve told you from the beginning that it was a bad idea.” Harsh words were thrown his way. “Where do you think that she is now, hm? All of sudden going back to the man that was being terrible to her, who the bloody hell would do that?”

After keeping her gaze for a few more seconds, Tommy let his eyes move down to the papers before sliding them to the side of his desk. “It’s her decision. Turns out she’s not mine to love.” The uninterested tone of his voice sparked something within in Polly that caused the fire to lash out even more. “I said it before and I’ll say it again, she makes you blind! I’m not going to sit here and wait until this family is wiped from their existence.” She pulled one of the papers from the pile and slammed it down in front of him. “They’re after you, Thomas and she knew. She fucking knew!” The frustration in her voice made him wary. He took another look at the letters that were infused on the paper, the words connecting with the dots in his mind.

“Where did you get this?” He wondered while eagerly grabbing the other papers, his cigarette still firmly sat between his fingers. “I actually did something with the information you gathered. Something you should’ve done before letting her back into your life.” She sneered as she grabbed a picture from between the documents, putting it down in front of him and pointing at two particular men standing smiling next to a group of people. “Do you recognize them?”

He looked at the picture, immediately recognizing the man who had become a rather important topic in his life. “David Wright.” He looked up at his aunt. “How did you get this?” Her answer didn’t came, instead she pointed at the other man on the photograph. “Did she tell you about him?” She asked, her eyes boring into him. “No.”

“Of course not.” Polly clenched her jaw. “Luca Changretta.” She spat. “The italian maffia, Thomas.” He looked up at her, remembering something (Y/N) had told him and creating the missing link he was looking for since the first night they had spend time together.

How did you meet him?" Tommy asked while he leaned his arms on the chair. "At a party, in a club. Also in London." She took a sip of her wine. "A friend invited me. He was there with a group of his friends and he came to the rescue when some Italian was bothering me."

He should’ve known, her nervous behavior should’ve been a sign.

"We hit it off pretty well and it turned out the Italian was a friend of his who had a few too many drinks."

“They’re after you.” Polly warned again while she watched him read the remaining of the papers. “She’s in on it too, she’s the one that knows everything about you after all.” He shook his head. “It’s been years, Pol. She wouldn’t.” The words left his mouth before he could think and before realizing who was in front of him. “She would and I’m not going to wait until they hunt us down! You’re too blind. Once again you’re way too fucking blind!” The loud voice of his aunt boomed trough his office, repeating the words she had told him before.

“They’re after you and she went back to him once she had you wrapped around her finger, what more do I have to tell you?!”

A deep sigh left her mouth as she made her way down the stairs. The warm bath David drew for her and the dry clothes made her body feel more at ease after a stressful morning. When she entered the livingroom, she found David sitting at the table. The gun he gave her was right in front of him with six bullets neatly lined up next to each other.

“Must be better, right?” David mentioned, referring to her dry clothes while leaning back in his chair. She nodded as her eyes didn’t leave the gun. “It is.”

“You can sit down, sweetheart.” The pet name disgusted her but she obeyed him anyways. “Let’s adress the elephant in the room, shall we?” He started. “As you can see I made it a little easier for you.” He rested his finger on top of one of the bullets. “Since Thomas Shelby seems a little too hard to start off with, why don’t we start with someone else first?” He pushed the bullet her way, she noticed a name that was carefully carved into the ammunition. “John Shelby. Must be an easy target, not the smartest one and doesn’t think before he acts. Something you two seem to have in common.” He sighed as he pushed another bullet her way. “After you’re done with him, we have Polly. Way too nosy.”

The blood in her veins was racing trough her body, the thumping of her heart filled her ears while the panic was clawing onto every single piece of her body. She watched as David shoved the other bullets her way one by one, the names of Arthur, Ada and Finn neatly carved into them. “And last but certainly not least, Tommy Shelby himself. Must be much easier since you’ve had a bit of practice.” He coldly told her, adding a wink.

Tears filled her eyes at the disgusting words that fell off his lips. “No.” She shook her head while rapidly blinking away the tears that threatened to spill, this was not the time to look weak in front of him. “No, I refuse. I fucking refuse.” Her words came out harsh as her fear lashed out into anger. “You refuse? You have no fucking choice.” David’s loud voice boomed trough the room as he slammed his fist on the table, the sound of the bullets rattling against the wood. “You crossed a fucking line and you’re going to make up for it!” He pointed his finger in her direction. “Or do you want to tell Luca that it isn’t going to happen? That his whole fucking plan is going down the drain because one pathetic bitch is too scared to pull the trigger? Do you think he’ll be understanding and tell you that it’ll be alright?!” The sudden movement of him standing made his chair fall backwards with a loud bang.

“I don’t fucking care!” She shouted back at him. “I never wanted to be a part of this!” Her eyes widened when she saw him come closer. Her breath stocked in her throat, making it hard to breath. “Was that before or after your woke up his bed like the fucking whore you are?! You had no problem coming all the way to Small Heath to tell us where we could find him!”

“You fucking forced me to! You fucking framed me with all of your fake promises!” She stood up, trying not to let him intimidate her. “And I did not sleep with him!” She felt his hands grab her wrists tightly, pushing her hands above her head and pushing her until her harshly back hit the wall, a soft cry left her mouth. His face was only inches away from hers as she struggled to get out of his strong grip. “You’re going out there, finishing what we started! You know I’m within reach of your loved ones and unlike you, I’m not a fucking coward!”

His booming voice made her ears ring, the words getting to her loud and clear, knowing he wouldn’t throw empty threats her way. “Fuck you.” She hissed as she felt the grip on her wrist tighten even more. “It’s obvious you’ve surrounded yourself with that Shelby scum again, look at the way you’re talking to me.” He harshly grabbed her cheeks after releasing her wrists, feeling his fingers painfully dig into her skin. “You should remember that you don’t fucking talk to me like that.”

As soon as he released her, she spat in his face. A stinging pain in her left cheek was followed immediately after. “Fucking bitch!” As she tried to lash out at him, another hit struck her.

Tears pricked in her eyes as she carefully touched her cheek and eye, trying to sooth the pain somehow. David turned around to take the gun from the table, her eyes widened as he put the bullets back into it. Fear took over her and she turned away as quickly as possible to flee the room. The firm grip of his hand yanked her back by her arm and harshly pushed her back against the wall. The feeling of the cold metal resting against her forehead made her freeze. “I could also end it all right here, right now.” David calmly explained, his finger resting on the trigger. “It’s your choice.”

Her chest was heaving up and down, her breathing becoming heavier each second. “Please do. I’d rather be death than that I have to spend one more minute with you.” Her determined voice was soft but clear, a sudden confidence taking over. A life full of abuse and taking a toll on her.

“Is that what you want, yeah?” He pressed the gun deeper into her skin. She closed her eyes, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “I fucking asked you something!” He shouted at her, making her body tremble. Rethinking her decision she spoke up one more time. “Yes.”

Without hesitation he pulled the trigger back. She heard a loud click followed by deafening silence.

The metal was still brutally pressed against her skin, providing a painful friction. It took a moment before she carefully opened her eyes, only to find David with a bullet between his fingers.

“Thomas Shelby saved you once again.” He spat as he put the gun down. “But this will be the last time.” He continued while putting the last bullet with Tommy’s name on it in the chamber. “Now get the fuck out.”

Tears ran down her cheeks as she felt her heart banging against her ribs, suddenly realizing what kind of fate she had accepted in just a few seconds. “Did you not hear me? Get the fuck out!” He pushed her out of the hall to the front door. “Let me get my coat, please.” She chocked out. “Shut the fuck up.” He opened the front door and pushed her out in the pouring rain, pressing the gun into her hands. “David-“

“You’d rather be death than spending one more minute with me, hm? Won’t let you have that.” He slammed the door shut behind her, leaving her numb on the front lawn with the gun as a burden she couldn’t get rid of.

She stared at the house in front of her, the one she always dreamt of, the one that was supposed to be the center of happiness. The promising words of David replaying in her mind.

“We can leave London when business is done, move to the town you grew up in.” He told her when gently stroking her hair. “Really?” She beamed at him, thinking of how, even after everything, she had been missing Birmingham. “But you love London.���

“I’d do it for you.” He smiled at her. The corners of her mouth curled into an even bigger smile before pressing a kiss against his cheek. “You know, I actually got you something.” David took a set of keys out of his pocket and handed it to her.

She gave him a confused look. “What’s is this?” She chuckled. “Remember you told me that house you always loved as a kid?” He asked her as he watched her nodding. “It’s ours.”

“What?” She gasped. “Are you serious? Why?” He smiled and nodded. “To promise that I’ll treat you better. We can use it for the weekends and once I got my business rolling here, we can move there. Would you like that?” She nodded eagerly, making him chuckle. “Thank you so much David, I don’t know what to say.” She smiled. He pressed a kiss against her lips. “You don’t have to say something, sweetheart. Just imagine our future, hm? Just the two of us, being happy. Maybe a little family a few years in.” He told her while kissing her again.

How her life had turned into the worst. She should have known the moment he used the house as a bait to make her stay. Promises to do better, only became lies to make things worse.

As she turned to leave, the front door opened again revealing David with her coat and a suitcase with other personal possesions. “Get that shit out of here.” He threw her coat on the lawn before opening the suitcase and emptying it all over. She watched her clothes and precious jewelry scatter all over the tiling and grass before the suitcase was tossed her way, hitting her in the process. “Remember that I’ll always find you.”

The door slammed shut as she got on her knees to retrieve her belongings and stuffed them into her suitcase. She picked up her coat and draped it over her arm as it was way too wet to provide her the warmth she needed.

She made her way down the street, with no idea where to go.

The evening had covered the sky with a blanket of darkness, giving the world a sign it was time for their well deserved rest. The same rest she finally could give her feet, after carrying her the whole day, as she sat down on the stairs in front of the entrance of a building. Her body shivered from the cold wind that was blowing against her wet clothes.

She was desperate to find a place to stay but there wasn’t. She had no money and the only one she could turn to was no option any longer. There was no way Tommy would let her come back after she told him that she was going back to David.

She couldn’t stay out either, it was cold and most of all dangerous to wander the streets at night to find any kind of shelter.

The only thing that came to mind was the Garrison, even if it was only to warm up, maybe she’d find someone who could help her out. She leant her back against the wall, steadying her suitcase between her feet, as she let the events of the day run trough her mind.

How did she let it get this far?

Bad decision after bad decision was made, the wrong people were trusted and it felt like a downfall, except for the fact that she was still falling deeper and deeper and there was no way to stop.

Maybe London was the biggest mistake, in retrospect Birmingham gave her everything she needed but she might’ve realised it way too late. She wanted more but it brought her less.

“Fucking lock.” John tried to turn the key but failed once again. Maybe it was the lack of light or the amount of alcohol he had that night but it seemed like it was much harder than usual. A cigarette hung loosely on his lip as he mumbled out some more curse words.

“Are you closing?” A familiar voice made him look up, finding the silhouette of a woman next to him. “Y/N? Is that you?” He watched her as she came closer, surprising him. “What are you doing ‘ere? You’re fuckin’ soaked.”

She sighed, feeling embarrassed to ask for help. “Well, I-“ She paused her sentence to think about her next words. John’s eyes fell on the suitcase she was carrying. “Oh, I’m sorry (Y/N).” She shrugged. “I got kicked out. Again.” She jokingly said. It was followed by a soft chuckle as she tried to lighten up the situation in someway.

“Doesn’t sound very funny to me.” He seriously said as he looked at her, his eyes falling on her swollen cheek, the light bruising of her eye and a few marks left on her skin. "Did that fuckin' bastard hit you again?" She shook her head. "No-" John interrupted her. "(Y/N), I can see it. I might be drunk but I'm not fuckin' blind. This is not from falling or bumping into something.”

"It's nothing, I promise." She smiled kindly at him while he shook his head. Silence followed as he kept his eyes on her. “I think I-I’ll go.” She mumbled, his gaze making her uncomfortable.

“Where are you going to stay?” He slurred out the last words of his sentence. “I don’t know. I hoped to warm up in the Garrison but I think I’m a bit too late.”

He sighed softly. “Yeah sorry, love. Was just closin’ up.” He tried the key once more, finally being able to lock the pub. “You know, I’d let you stay on Watery Lane but I have to talk to Tom and Pol about it”

“No it’s fine.” She smiled at him. “But where will you stay then?” He wondered again.

“I honestly don’t know.” She fumbled with her suitcase. “I have no space at home. Y’know with the kids and all but you’re welcome for breakfast.” He offered. “I appreciate it John, thank you.”

He let his gaze wander over her again. “For how long have you been out?” He wondered. “Since this morning.”

“This morning? Are you mad? You’ll get sick.” Worry laced in his words. “Look I can bring you to Watery Lane, yeah? I'll talk to Tom and Pol tomorrow.”

“No, no, I don’t want you to get in trouble.” She waved her hand dismissively as she declined his offer. “Then what? It’s too dangerous for you to stay out here in the dark.” John tried to convince her. “I’ll find something.” She watched John as he was fumbling with his suitjacket.

“ ‘ere.” He put the keys of his childhood home in her hands. “No, no, you really don’t have to. I’ll find something else. I don’t want to be a bother.” She tried to protest against his offer, the idea of running into Tommy making her anxious. He took her chin gently between his thumb and finger, immediately apologizing when she flinched at his touch. “Oh… sorry.” He trailed off for a second before speaking up again. “Listen, it’s fine. Wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you, eh? Now I’ll get you there safely, yeah? And then you thank me and wish me a goodnight because I can’t wait to go see me wife.” He winked at her before carefully letting go of her face, earning a small smile from her.

“Thank you, John.” She softly answered as she felt the pressure of the gun burning against her skin.

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@casa-boiardi @brummiereader @call-sign-shark @zablife @mommahwa1117

[vgperson]

What Did I Do In 2023?

Whatever I wanted, mostly.

----

As I mentioned last year, my site now has an RSS feed with basically everything I've done back to 2020, so this will mainly be going over the same stuff from that, just with added context.

In January, I finally sat down and properly realized an idea for a short story I'd had sitting around for a while: From the Sidelines, about a fantasy RPG expedition going sideways. I remain very proud of it in both concept and execution, and hope people read it.

In February, Your Turn To Die was released on Steam Early Access, receiving character profiles and some bonus mini-episodes, adding two more later in the year.

After finishing From the Sidelines, I carried that momentum to revisit my Ut0p1a story series about funny computer animals. I'd always meant to continue it - and conclude it - but hadn't been satisfied with the ideas I had for it until totally rethinking them this year. In March, I posted the remaining stories one after another: Right to Code and Left to Code. I'm very proud of these as well. Also in March, Kenshi Yonezu released LADY. (Video, interview)

In April, Uri released the Data Book of the Strange Men Series, a big collection of the writing she's done on the games in the series, with a lot of new parts as well, all translated by me.

Then in May... uh, well, let's see. In April, Capcom released the Mega Man Battle Network Legacy Collection. I always adored the Battle Network games, and was initially excited that they finally did the thing... but by the time it came out, I was pretty disappointed by how, while you certainly couldn't call them low-effort ports, the effort didn't extend everywhere I thought it should, with the biggest offenders being the total absence of any "convenience features" except Buster Max Mode, the bad font, and the almost entirely untouched translations.

So, I ended up deciding I might as well just replay the originals, and that was a fun time (aside from the parts that were bad). Doing this, I couldn't help but notice how... turbulent the translations were, even if I'd always known they were less than ideal. I mean, the first two games just used periods for ellipses despite the tight character limits, then in BN3 they had an ellipsis character... but it's center-aligned, Japanese-style? Aside from the intro, which has normal ones? Gosh, somebody should fix that - it's simple enough to find and edit in YY-CHR. "JapanMan" is silly, too - I wonder if anybody made a patch for that? Wait, what do you mean there's just a tool to extract and insert text in all the Battle Network games including the Legacy Collection???

Thus began a journey that sort of occupied the rest of my year. First I did the BN3 Translation Revision, trying not to worry too much about cross-referencing the Japanese text unless something seemed wrong, so that I didn't spend too long on the project. Then I began to consider BN2, with its unfortunate "foreigner" text that would need some more significant reworking. I established more convenient tools for comparing with the Japanese script, and thus did a much more thorough job with it, releasing the BN2 Translation Revision in June (AKA Princess Pride Month).

Finally, after giving myself time to recover and actually finish replaying the series, I knew what I had to do to close things out. With the BN4 Translation Revision, you can finally play Battle Network 4 with a translation that isn't such a mess. Whether you'd want to is for you to decide, though if you can get over the structure, I don't think it's the worst game in the series by any means. (Oh, and in December I also updated the BN3 Revision to 1.1, doing a thorough pass with the methods I'd honed. But I think I'm pretty much good on MMBN translations now.)

Anyway, backtracking to other things that happened during my Battle Network haze... June had Kenshi Yonezu's Moongazing (video, interview), and July had Globe (video, interview, interview).

Last but not least, released in November, I translated Refind Self: The Personality Test Game, a short game from Lizardry (creator of 7 Days to End with You) with a fun concept.

----

Obviously I was right to have said "no promises" last year. But really, Your Turn To Die should get its final part on Steam sometime next year, maybe even early-ish in it. That's certainly the goal.

I'm also hoping to buckle down and finish one of my own games, but as usual, who knows how that'll pan out. Letting my whims carry me this year let me finally finish From the Sidelines and Ut0p1a, which was great, and it also led me down a Battle Network rabbit hole, which was... fine, but definitely for a narrower audience. I'd always like to get back to more free game translations and the like, too, but it takes effort to find things I'd want to translate. For now, I think my increasing desire to be able to let loose some of these original games I've been planning, and the stories in them, might come out on top.

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

You’re The Only Girl for Me- Chapter 7

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

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December 11th (Continued)

Airielle stood to the side and waited for her cue to cut off Kevin Owens as he walked backstage from his interaction with Josh. She nodded once Ryan- the director of the segment gave her a little shove towards Kevin, who was walking her way. 

“Kevin, hey Kevin!” She called out rushing towards his side. “Can I have a word?” 

“No, have you seen Roman? Airielle shook her head. 

“Do you know what he said about my family last week? Huh!? You think I wanted to do that to Jey Uso?! NO!- You don’t talk about my family and now I did that to his family and that’s on Roman- '' Kevin was cut off by Airielle’s scream as Roman came and attacked Kevin from behind.  Airielle quickly got out of the way so she wouldn’t get hurt.  After hearing the director yell cut, Airielle walked back over to thank Ryan for letting her do the segment. 

“Wassup Airi.” After Paul had walked away Joe came and stood next to her. 

“Hey Joe,” She said, smiling at him. 

“I talked to Yas.” Airielle’s smiled disappeared and she rolled her eyes. “She’s just wants to make sure you ok” 

“I knew I should’ve never called her.”  Joe laughed and placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“Nah, she just looking out for you, she’s very protective of you.” Airielle sighed and nodded her head. 

“Too protective, I told her I was fine and I had it under control.” 

“I’m the same way with Jon and Josh too, us older cousins gotta protect our youngins in the family” Airielle rolled her eyes again. 

“It’s nothing to be protected against though.” She said as they started walking toward Joe’s locker room, where Josh was waiting for her. “It’s not that big of a deal.” She added with a shrug. 

“I mean, on the walk over to film I've heard ya name at least five times.” Airielle sucked her teeth. “But,” Joe shrugged and stopped her from opening the door to his locker room. “I’m not saying this because he’s my cousin and I love him.” He waited until she nodded to continue. “That shit with Kayla happened one time and I only know that because Josh can’t keep his mouth shut.” 

“Yeah, I know. We talked about all that already.” Joe nodded with a small grin on his face. 

“Alright then.” He said opening the door for her and letting her walk in first.

Josh looked over at them when the door opened and immediately stood up and walked over to Airielle. 

“You aight? What happened?” She nodded and told him about her run in with Kayla and the ladies from hair and make-up, the scowl on his face getting deeper and deeper as she continued her story. 

“Man, shit wasn’t even like that. You want me to talk to her?” He asked, leading her over to the couch so they could sit down. She sighed and plopped down next to him, snuggling into his side. 

“No, Like I told Joe and Yasmine, it’s not that big of a deal. I’m not even worried about it.” 

“You sure, I gotta make sure nobody fuckin’ wit’ my girl.” Josh flipped Joe off when he made a fake gagging nose, before walking into the bathroom, to give them privacy. 

“Did I stutter?” He asked before leaning down and capturing her lips with his. She reached her hand up to cup his jaw as his tongue slipped into her mouth, both of them letting out a moan. 

“Ok, we get it.” Joe said, causing them to break apart. “Can y’all not do that. Some of us are lonely as fuck.” Airielle and Josh rolled their as at him. “I was about to invite you to ride with us back to Pensacola, but not if that’s gonna happen.” Josh sucked his teeth and flipped Joe off. 

“Ignore him, you wanna ride back with us? I was gonna ask but I got distracted.” He flipped Joe off again when he snorted. Airielle laughed at their antics and agreed to ride on Joe’s bus back to Pensacola with them. 

CHRISTMAS DAY 2020

Airielle bit her bottom lip as she stared at the clothes in her closet. She was meeting Josh’s family for the first time and she wanted to impress them. They had decided to spend a couple hours with his family and then go to her parents house. And she was terrified, Josh would be the first person she brought home to meet her parents in years. 

The only upside was that Trinity would be with her with Josh and Jon’s family and Yasmine would be with her with their family. 

“You are stressing for no reason.” Airielle said nothing as Yasmine came over and stood next to her. “Just pick something.” Airielle scowled over at Yasmine before picking out an outfit, which in her eyes it was basic as fuck, but it would have to work. 

AirielleJones

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AirielleJones: Merry Christmas 🎄

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“You look terrified.” Josh laughed as he parked his car in front of his mom’s house. 

“I am terrified. What if they don’t like me.” 

“They gon’ love you Rih. What’s not to love?” 

“Ok let me rephrase. What if your mom doesn’t like me?”  Josh chuckled and grabbed her hand, lacing a kiss on the back of it. 

“It was my moms idea to invite you over for Christmas. Man, she wanted you over here for Thanksgiving. She was upset when you didn’t come”  Airielle furrowed her eyebrows. 

“Seriously?” 

“Yeah,” Josh chuckled again. “Everytime I talk to her she asks about you. She really wants to meet you.” Airielle looked out the passenger window at his mom’s house before letting out a shaky breath and turning back to look at him. 

“Okay. I’m ready.” 

“Holy shit.” Airielle muttered to herself as she walked inside Josh’s mom's house. She had never seen this many people packed into a house before, there were literally people everywhere. 

“Damn,” Josh said, kind of shocked too. He looked over at her when her grip on his hand tightened. “I ain’t know it was gon be this many people.” He laughed and pulled her closer to him when a couple of his little cousins rushed past them, chasing each other around. “Come on, let’s go find my momma.” 

They found his mom outback sitting around the firepit with one of his aunties. She looked up when Airielle and Josh walked towards her and jumped to her feet. 

“Oh my god. You came.” She said pulling Airielle into a tight hug, “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.” Mama Fatu said, pulling away so she could look Airielle in the eyes. 

“It’s nice to meet you ma’am.” Airielle said and Mama Fatu shook her head. 

“None of that ma’am stuff. Call me Talisua.” Airielle smiled. “Are you hungry?” Tulisua turned her attention to Josh. “Don’t just stand there. Get the girl something to eat.” Airielle giggled at the look Josh gave his mom. “Come sit.” Talisua said, pointing to the empty chair that was now in the middle of her and Josh’s aunt. 

“You are so pretty.” His aunt said and Airielle felt her face heat up at her compliment. 

“Thank you.” 

“So tell me about yourself. Josh told me that you are a backstage interviewer.” Airielle nodded. “How did you get into that?”  Airielle had basically gone over her whole life story, minus the parts that she would take to the grave before Josh came back with two plates that were packed with food. 

“You’re only twenty-nine?” Josh’s aunt asked, perplexed. “You do know my nephew is thirty-five. That’s not too old for you?” Josh rolled his eyes as he handed Airielle one of the plates. He probably should have warned her about his nosey ass aunt. 

“No, and I'll be thirty in February, so I mean. It’s not like he’s ten years older than me.” Airielle trailed off with a shrug. She never really put any thought into their age difference and it wasn’t a big gap for there to be any issues. 

“Don’t worry about her.” Talisua rolled her eyes at her sister. “She’s always looking out for her nephews.” Airielle nodded understandingly. 

“It’s totally fine. I’m sure my family will be worse.” She said laughing. 

Christmas with Josh’s family was going way better than she expected. She had met his two other brothers, Sefa and Jeremiah and their girlfriends. She had met a shit ton of his family members. She knew he had a big family but the amount of people that she met was absolutely crazy. 

“Hey it’s getting late.” Josh said. “We still gotta go to your parents house.” Airielle nodded and stood up with Josh, saying their goodbyes to everyone before heading out to the car. 

“See that wasn’t so bad was it?” He said, smirking over at her. 

“Honestly, no. Your family is cool as hell.” 

“Damn, this a nice ass house.” Josh whistled as he pulled into the driveway of Airielle’s parents house. 

“It’s okay,” Airielle said and she took his hand so he could help her out of the car. 

“Just okay?! You trippin’ this shit is huge. You grew up here?” She nodded her head. 

“Yeah, it’s not my childhood home though, we moved to Pensacola when I was in the ninth grade.” He nodded his head, remembering when she told him that. “Ok. you ready?” She asked once they were at the front door. 

“Yeah, I'm ready. Why you look nervous?” 

“Because I am.” She whined and Josh laughed before pulling her into his arms. 

“Relax, please.” She nodded before leaning up and capturing his lips with hers. Their lips moving slowly against each other. She let out a moan when his hands slid down to her ass, giving it a squeeze, before he pulled away. 

“Yeah that’s not what I wanted to see when I opened the door.” Airielle jumped and turned to face her father before smiling sheepishly at him. 

“Hi daddy.” 

Next chapter Josh meets her family and learns a secret about Airielle. 🫶🏽

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

[queerpumpkinnn]

Hi!! Is it at all possible to request a Fred Weasley x reader please? Set in the order of the phoenix where umbridge is the professor and she implements the rule of “boys and girls must not be within 8 inches of each other” (I think it’s something like that) Fred and the reader sneak around and find ways of getting around this rule ;) A mixture of fluff and smut if that’s okay? Thank you! Xx

Yes love, thank you so much for requesting! I'm so sorry this took so long. This is such an adorable prompt and I loved writing it! I hope I made it to your liking!

Touch Deprivation

2.4k words

Summary: The above request, basically

Pairing: Fred Weasley x fem!reader

Content warnings: Umbridge being a bitch, fingering, pet names, slight possessive kink if you squint, lots of physical touch

While reading, I recommend you listen to secret hiding spot kinda love - a Spotify playlist by me!

~

You were always a quite tactile person, however selective you may be when it comes to with whom you share prolonged touch.

So when the most wretched teacher ever to roam the earth becomes part of yours and your boyfriend's daily lives, you had to figure out more clever ways to work around it.

Hiding in the library came to be one of your favorite alternatives, finding a small corner in a section from which few people would read. This is where the two of you sat now- on the floor, leaned up against the wall and on each other. Your head rest perfectly in the crook between Fred's collar and jaw, and his hands were playing mindlessly with one of yours. You were regaling him with a story you'd been told by one of your friends when you heard a voice you had come to despise with a fiery passion- the shrill, sugar-coated trill of Dolores Umbridge.

Fred groaned, his head falling back. When it flopped back, he tapped your shoulder, signaling that you needed to move.

"I don't want to." You whined. "Let the old bat put us in detention, I don't care at this point."

He chuckled at the irony of your statement. His mind was thinking exactly what she was saying. "I know, neither do I, but I'm not letting you land detention."

You gave him a look, but agreed with a sigh, heaving to your feet to move to sit at one of the desks lining the shelves, your schoolwork set out ahead of time so that you appeared to actually be working should she pass by. Fred shuffled to the other side of the bookstack just as the bullfrog of a woman strutted by, pink claws folded neatly over her wand and lips pursed. You pretended to be reading your textbook, watching her subtly through peripheral vision. She glanced over at you, but said nothing and continued walking.

You waited until the even click of her heels faded from the library. You exhaled the breath you weren't aware you had held in. There was a shuffle of robes, and a head sporting a tangerine mop of hair and mischievous eyes popped out from the end of the bookstack. Fred's head seemed to float, as the rest of his body was hidden. You giggled, standing up from the desk as his body joined his head and headed towards you.

"Now, where were we?" He cooed, wrapping his arms around your body, his hands joined on your lower back.

You rested your forehead on his chest, taking note of his heartbeat for a few moments. "How long are we going to have to keep sneaking around like this?"

He sighed. "I don't know. But we'll get through it, yeah? Once we graduate we won't have to worry about it." He cupped your face, kissing your forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too."

. . .

Although he did make the effort to avoid landing you in detention, he couldn't care less if he landed himself. Neither did he care to stop sneaking around with you. And knowing Fred, it was always at the most random times.

One chilly December evening, about a half hour before student curfew, you found yourself heading through the dimly lit corridor towards your common room. There were only a few students here and there, considering Christmas break had just begun, but the hallway was pretty much empty. Nothing had seemed out of the ordinary until you found yourself being yanked back, your captor placing one hand over your mouth and the other around your waist, dragging you into a dark and tiny room. A broom closet, you noticed. Once the hand was pulled from your face you inhaled a familiar, musky scent. One you had become very familiar with: the smell of-

"Fred Weasley!" You hissed, turning around. Your eyes had adjusted to the dark just well enough to see the outline of the grinning boy.

"That's right." He paid no heed to your shock.

You immediately began smacking him on the shoulder. "Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again!"

Fred had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing at your feeble attempt to scold him. "Okay, okay, okay! Merlin, feisty thing, aren't you?"

You simply folded your arms and glared at him. You'd long forgiven him, so he knew there was no real anger behind your eyes.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry, love." Fred wrapped his arms around you. He still wore his signature grin as he murmured, "Can you forgive me?"

You fiddled with the collar of his robes. "I suppose so." You grumbled, though you couldn't help the smile tugging your lips thinner.

"Good." And he kissed you, gently and full of love. You responded quickly, tugging on his robes to bring him closer. Your pulling him closer always seemed to light a fire in him, eliciting a more desperate and aggressive manner. He cupped the back of your neck, his other hand slithering up your waist.

The moment created somewhat of a fog in your brain, so full of need for him. So it was understandable, the surprise in you when Fred suddenly pulled away, stopped for a second as if listening, then turned his head back and forth frantically as if looking for something, his hair flopping against his cheeks in a quite doglike manner.

"Fred, what-"

"Quick, hide." He ushered you into a nook in the corner of the closet, throwing a few items from a Quidditch uniform over your hunched figure and further hiding you by propping a few brooms up against you carefully.

Just as he had finished, the door to the closet had opened. Even behind the cloth you could see warm light flooding the small room, and hear a familiar clack of heels stepping furiously.

"Mister Weasley! I should have known. Step out of the closet this instant!" Came the bark of none other than Dolores Umbridge.

You remained as still as possible, though you couldn't help the pang of guilt. He spent all his time hiding you, because he knew he couldn't hide the both of you in time. You listened to the sound of receding footsteps and the teacher's scolding.

When you heard nothing, you tentatively stood, ensuring that the brooms did not fall outward and make noise. You removed the Quidditch robes (thank Godric they had been cleaned) and checked your watch. You still had ten minutes to get to the common room. You tiptoed out, falling into as casual of a stride as you could muster once you were far enough away from the crime scene.

Damn it Fred.

. . .

It had been three days later, and Fred was currently serving detention with Professor McGonagall. You were grateful that she was the head of Gryffindor house and thus in charge of deciding his punishment- though she was no less strict, she was kinder.

You were up in your dormitory, sprawled out on the bed reading one of your favorite muggle fiction books. It was unusually quiet, since your dormmates had all gone home. While you wanted to relish in the quiet and your book, your brain seemed to wander over to Fred with every other page.

Just as the boy crossed your mind for the umpteenth time, a knock on your window startled you. You almost threw the book across the room in fright. It only took a split second to figure out who it was. You hurriedly dog-eared your page and slammed it shut, marching over to the window and seeing a familiar, lanky Beater wearing not enough clothing for the frigid December and a smile.

You rolled your eyes and stepped aside so that he might float into the room. After having closed the door, you turned to him. Your annoyance melted away and was replaced with a pitying worry at the sight of him. He was shivering, a jumper and jeans not enough to shield him from the cold. His pale face was a stark contrast to the pink tinting his cheeks and nose.

"Come here." You pulled him by the hand to sit on the bed, covering his figure in a blanket. "You really couldn't have come in any other way?"

He shrugged. "Well, no. All of the doors are spelled so that Umbridge can monitor who comes and leaves where. That's how she found us out so quickly. But she didn't check the windows." He winked.

You chewed your lip for a moment. "How'd she not suspect I was there too?"

He shrugged again. "I'm a Quidditch player in the closet where she keeps all the brooms locked up. That's enough of a coincidence that I suppose she didn't need anything else." He glanced over at you, noting the worry and guilt in your eyes. "Hey, it's okay. McGonagall was nice to me this time, I'm all right."

"I know." You flopped onto your back, the bed bouncing underneath your weight. "It's just not an ideal circumstance."

"It isn't" He agreed. "But I'm here now, aren't I?"

You nodded.

"Then everything's going to be all right." He grinned, shifting so that he was hovering over you a bit more. "Now, where were we?"

You laughed as he started giving lazy kisses to your neck. "'S that all you came here to do?"

He looked up, a gleam of humor in his eyes. "'Course not. But I always finish what I start."

His mouth found yours, kissing with just as much if not more adoration and fervor than when the two of you were in the broom closet. His fingers tugged at your waist, setting your skin on fire with the contrast of heat. Though he'd warmed up quickly, his hands were still a bit cold.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" He mumbled, back to mouthing at your neck, down to your collarbone.

"Yes, but you could stand to say it more." You spoke softly, smiling.

He chuckled, fingers toying with the drawstrings of your sweatpants. "Godric, I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you too." You breathed, running your hands up his arms to his shoulders. You couldn't deny that you loved those arms, toned from hours and hours of Beating practice. You felt a tap on your hip, signaling for you to lift them. Obliging, Fred dragged the sweatpants down your legs, hooking your underwear along with it so your lower half was entirely naked to him.

Fred stared at you for a while, making you nervous under his eyes. "Gorgeous," he muttered, partially to himself, before grasping the flesh of your thighs with each hand, kneading for a moment before pulling them apart. He seemed more touchy than usual, fingers splayed so as to touch as much of you at once as he could.

Fred was always fascinated with your thighs. His hands always lay there when he went down on you and even outside of the bedroom he liked to squeeze your thigh affectionately or lay on them.

"Look at how pretty you are, pet. All laid out and spread open." With hooded eyes still holding contact with yours, you felt one hand slither closer and closer to where you ached for him.

"Only for you." These three words made his teasing hand lose patience, and suddenly he was cupping your pussy, running an index finger through your slick. Your back arched at the sensation, hips lifting up the bed to follow his motion.

"Only for me, hm? Is that right?"

You nodded, not being able to open your mouth on account of knowing that you'd be so embarrassingly whiny if you had. His fingertip was circling the rim of your cunt, just enough to stimulate you but so slowly and shallowly that it wasn't enough.

"Words, love." Fred's hand stilled.

"Yes, yes, only for you." You breathed, pitch rising. When he heard this, he dipped his finger in your cunt with ease, curling and massaging that one spot that had moans being coaxed out of you.

"That's right, sweet thing." He groaned in your ear. "Such a good girl, yeah?"

"Mhm." Was all you could muster, stuttered when he added a second finger. The stretch had your eyes rolling back.

His thumb finding your clit, however, was what really did it for you. As soon as he began rubbing circles into you, you had to slap your hand over your mouth to keep from being so loud.

Naturally, Fred wasn't having that. "Hand off, sweetheart. I want to hear your pretty moans loud and clear." His free hand left its place massaging your ass up to your hand, gently tugging your wrist.

You were hesitant, brain foggy as your high was building quickly. Nonetheless you let him pull your hand down, still distracted by what his other hand was doing. You were just on the brink, getting louder and fuzzier until it- or rather, you- came. Your body was overwhelmed at the sensation, throbbing and weeping cunt spasming around his fingers, which worked you through your high. Both hands wrapped around his wrist in instinct, a small fear from previous endeavors that he would pull away before you came. Your eyes were screwed shut, the only thing comprehensible was the intense pleasure radiating from your core and the sweet things Fred was muttering to you.

"There you go, let go f'me pretty girl. Did so good." He whispered, kissing your temple.

When the pleasure had subsided and been replaced with overstimulation, you squirmed and pushed his hand away. You took a second to breathe, watching through half-open eyes as Fred licked his dripping fingers clean.

Just watching him do that was a sight in and of itself. Shakily, you tried to sit up.

"Your turn," you told him, fumbling with the button of his jeans. Were his pants always this difficult to open?

Noticing your blurry state, he chuckled, pulling you back. "Hey, hey. You're sleepy, you don't have to."

You pouted. "But I want to."

He kissed your nose. "I know. And I'll be glad to let you in the morning, when you've rested. You're too fucked out right now, bunny."

You huffed, but secretly thanked him. He pecked your nose again before leaving and coming back with a small towel soaked in warm water. You allowed him to clean you, already becoming bleary and heavy.

By the time he had gotten back and crawled under the covers, you were barely conscious. The last thing you registered was a kiss on the top of your head and a sweet "goodnight".

~

Fred Weasley Masterlist

Harry Potter Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[cosmicanamnesis]

everybody loves a coffeeshop au

[part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [read on ao3]

October 10th

The first time the cute metalhead came into the Waystation, Steve was on bar and didn't catch his name. His order wasn't complicated, but it was long. Three medium black coffees, one small London fog, a large half sweet vanilla latte with soy milk, and a small hot chocolate. He'd paid in cash, leaving the change in the tip jar, and left in a hurry balancing the drink carriers on top of each other. If it hadn't been in the middle of a rush, Steve would've run around the counter and offered to hold the door for him.

Fortunately for Steve, he came in the next day, at the same time, with the same order, and Steve was on register this time.

"And can I get a name for the order?" Steve asked, punching the drinks into the computer.

"Eddie," the man said.

"Awesome. We'll have that all at the end for you," Steve said with a smile. Eddie dropped his change in the tip jar and wordlessly walked away. 

One of Steve's favorite parts of the job was getting to talk to beautiful people. Not everyone was, of course, but a few times a day a customer would come in with long curly hair or beautiful eyes or a charming smile and Steve would fall in love with them for thirty seconds and then usually never see them again and it was fine. It was fun. It was harmless.

Eddie had all those things, all the things Steve was a sucker for, but unlike all the others, Eddie kept coming back.

It took a month or so, but eventually everyone in the shop had either taken or made Eddie's order so many times that they all knew what it was and could start making it before he'd even reached the counter. Or rather, immediately abandon Steve and force him to make it.

It was fine with Steve, though. He didn't mind making long orders, and it gave him a chance to chat with Eddie, not that he ever did. If he were a little braver, maybe he would talk, maybe ask where Eddie works, maybe get the story on why he comes in alone every day to carry an entire office's worth of drinks out.

Maybe get his number.

But Steve wasn't braver, and instead of talking to him, he contented himself to just make the drinks and sneak glances whenever he could to admire the way Eddie's hair fell over his shoulders, the way his rings glinted and drew attention to his hands, the way he would sometimes stick his tongue out, just a little, if he was really absorbed in whatever he was doing.

Steve really wanted his number.

December 3rd

“Steve!” Robin yelled from the register. “Your boyfriend’s here!”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Steve huffed, but came up front anyway as the bell on the door chimed. “Hey Eddie. Usual?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Eddie nodded, handing Steve a wad of ones and fives. He dropped the change in the tip jar, like every day, and went to the end of the counter to wait. Steve watched him as he made the order. He wasn’t doing anything, just looking at his phone, but the cold outside had flushed his cheeks bright red and Steve couldn’t help but stare.

“Is it snowing out there yet?” he asked, putting lids on the plain coffees and popping them into a carrier.

“Huh? Oh, no. Is it supposed to?” Eddie seemed surprised that someone was talking to him, but he looked up anyway, slipping his phone back in his pocket.

“That’s what I’ve heard,” Steve shrugged. “Pretty much every old lady in here this morning has complained about their arthritis and the weather, so I just assumed.”

“Oh, yeah?” Eddie laughed, leaning on the counter. Steve wanted to listen to him laugh all day.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “Perks of the job, y’know? Never have to check the weather, just wait until somebody with a bad knee comes in.”

“I always thought that was a myth.”

“I dunno, man,” Steve shrugged again, sliding the drink carriers onto the counter. Eddie was smiling at him, wild curls framing his face. “They only had to be right a couple times to make me a believer.”

“Well,” Eddie said, carefully stacking the drinks on top of each other. “If it starts snowing later, I might start believing it too.”

Steve could’ve sworn Eddie winked at him on his way out.

“Oh my god, that was pathetic,” Robin said, reemerging from the back. “If you’re gonna flirt with him, just flirt with him. Is it snowing yet? Fuck off.”

“Wait, did Steve finally talk to that guy?” Chrissy, their assistant manager, poked her head out of the kitchen.

“Yeah, sorta,” Robin chided. 

“I honestly don’t know what you see in him, Steve,” Chrissy said, bringing a tray of pastries up front to put in the case.

“What? What do you mean?” Steve crossed his arms.

“Nothing! Just… He’s kinda weird, isn’t he? Like, standoffish?” She looked to Robin, who nodded. “I mean, you do you, but…”

“Wait, is this why you guys always shove me up front when he’s here?”

The girls looked at each other and then at Steve.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Chrissy admitted.

“You’re the only one that doesn’t mind him, so… He’s your problem,” Robin agreed.

“Proud of you for actually working up the nerve to talk to him, though.”

“Yeah, even if it was just about the stupid weather.”

Sure enough, it started snowing within the hour.

December 30th, Afternoon

Robin had begged Steve to swap shifts with her so she could go on a date. Normally Steve was an opener. He liked it, because he was naturally an early riser and opening meant more time after work to get shit done. But she had begged, and she was his best friend, so even though taking her closing shift messed with his whole routine, he agreed to swap. Plus, it meant he would have all of New Year’s Eve off, and that was pretty cool too.

It also meant accidentally finding out where Eddie worked.

Steve lived close enough to the cafe to walk there, and the walk took him past places that were usually still closed when he came in in the mornings. Antique store, jeweler, boutique, boutique, hair salon, tattoo parlor…

Steve took a couple steps back and looked in the front window of the tattoo place. Eddie happened to look up from whatever he was doing at that exact moment and gave him a confused sort of look. Steve just smiled and gave Eddie a small wave before going back on his way.

Well, it could’ve been more awkward.

[peterman-spideyparker]

Santa, Baby (Matt Murdock x fem!Reader)

Author’s Note: Sooooooooo this fic was supposed to come on December 23, but I procrastinated with it and didn’t end up finishing it until yesterday, and I don’t want to wait until next year to post because I’d put money on it that I’d forget. And it’s still December, so it counts. Enjoy :)

Summary: You want to do something on the sexier side to surprise Matt at Christmastime, but you don’t know how he’d take it. When Matt takes an unexpected night off from vigilantism, you put your plan into motion.

Warnings: Fluff (established couple, soft domestic sweetness, kisses), smut (holiday themed sexy outfits, oral - m and f receiving, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie), swearing

Other Characters: Karen Page (Karen x Frank)

Word Count: 3,809

“Hey,” you say with a smile as you open the door, the office of Nelson, Murdock, and Page on the air of the quiet side of things for what you know has been a busy week for the trio. 

“Angel, what are you doing here?” Matt smiles, taking a few steps forward from Karen’s desk to meet you in the middle of the reception area. 

“I cut work early to run some errands and I was passing by, so I thought I’d pop up,” you hum, placing a quick, sweet kiss on his lips.

“Well, I don’t want to be a bummer, but I gotta go to court soon for a discovery hearing.”

“It’s okay, Matt. I actually came here to ask Karen a question.”

Surprised little “oh”s escape both of their lips, turning toward one another one shock. 

“I guess I’ll leave you to it. See you at home, sweetheart.”

“Bye, Matty. You’ll do great,” you say with a kiss to his cheek, waiting as he grabs his jacket and makes it out of the office. 

“So what’s up?” Karen asks with a smile as she sits on her desk, and you move to match her body language. 

“Well, I had an idea, but I don’t know if I should see it through,” you explain. “See, I wanted to do something for Matt for Christmas, but I don’t know if he’d get his knickers in a twist. I mean, I already got his present—which has been hell to hide from Mr. Super Senses—but I want to do a little something more for him.”

“Like what?”

You feel your cheeks burn hot, suddenly a little embarrassed. You don’t know why you are—you’ve talked to Karen about this kind of stuff plenty of times before, and she has to you. You just have that kind of bond and friendship. 

“Well, there was a really cute Santa babydoll dress that I was thinking of getting, but I don’t know if that’d be weird for Matt—making Christmas sexy like that.”

“He’s never hinted around anything in that sphere?”

“Nope.”

“Well, I guess I can understand where that might be an odd thing on different fronts. Making something that shouldn’t be sexy sexy, and then the religious element.”

“So it’s a bad idea then, huh?”

“Maybe that one specifically, but I’m sure there’s another. It’s fun to do sexy holiday things like that. Frank and I love doing them.”

“You do?” you smirk.

“That’s a story for another time with lots of wine,” she laughs. “But I’d look for other options, you know? If anything, Christmas and Valentine’s Day are perfect for something like that because of the softer fabrics, and I know Matt has a thing about that. Just poke around. I can even go shopping with you, if you want.”

“I’ll browse, and if I can’t find anything, we can look together. I’m assuming you’re trying to do something with Frank?”

She blushes deeply. “Yeah. But he doesn’t have a thing too much about Santa, so maybe send me the link for that babydoll?”

You laugh loudly in the quiet office. “Sure thing, Kare.”

As you dry the dishes from dinner, you feel Matt slip his arms around your middle, pressing you flush against his back and holding you close, his chin on your shoulder as he nuzzles into your neck.

“I think I’m gonna stay in tonight,” Matt whispers against your skin. “It’s chilly out.”

“The Devil is scared of a little wind chill?” you smile, trying and failing to turn around in Matt’s grip from behind. 

“He likes it a little warmer.“

“Poor thing,” you pout, craning your head to the side, giving him a kiss on the side of the nose. “You’d never survive New England winters.”

“Good thing we live in the best city in the world.”

“You know what I think?”

“Lay it on me, sweetheart.”

“I think my big strong devil is a snuggly, needy, softy. In all the best ways.”

“Me? Needy?”

“We’re all a bit needy, Matty. You, for example, need me.”

“That’s the understatement of the century,” he smiles, letting you turn around in his grip, holding the side of his face and kissing him properly. 

“Well, I need you, too, so we’re perfect for one another. And, you’re my human radiator. Blankets don’t stand a chance against my man.”

“Can I get that in writing?” he smiles, his hands on your waist spinning you around to he can give you a kiss.

“Sure thing, baby,” you mutter against his lips.

“Let me put these away.”

“Dish duty is on me tonight. Don’t mess with the system, Matty.”

“Can the system go out the window for one night?”

“My creature of habit wanting to throw routine out of the window?”

“C’mon, angel.”

You lean forward once more, your lips meeting softly once more as you moan into the kiss.

“Okay,” you whisper, running your hands down his arms, moving from between the kitchen counter and his body and onto the couch.

Grabbing your laptop off of the coffee table, you whip it open and weed through your emails, deleting the copious and redundant notifications from different stores regarding sales, special memberships, and the like. Shortly after, Matt makes his way from the kitchen to the seat next to you, returning your computer to where you initially picked it up before he slides you into his lap.

“Hi sweetheart,” he whispers, placing a kiss on your neck.

“Hi Matty,” you hum, snuggling into him. “What do you want to do tonight?”

“What do you want to do? We can pop in a movie, play a game—.”

“You didn’t bring any work home?” you ask, surprised that’s night is completely free—including his Deviling duties.

“Not tonight. I wanted to focus just on you tonight.”

“Mm, that’s sweet.”

“What do you have in mind for tonight, angel?”

You let out a sigh as you rest your head on his shoulder, thinking about the different cozy home activities you could do together when a thought crosses your mind.

“I guess tonight is a good of night as ever,“ you hum. 

“Angel?”

“I have an idea, but it’s a surprise.”

“You’ve managed to keep a surprise a secret?”

“Rude,” you chuckle, kissing his cheek as you move to turn and straddle his lap. “You stay right there, Mr. Murdock. And you swear to me on my boobs that you won’t use your senses to try and ruin my surprise.”

“You want me to swear on your boobs?”

“You know you love them. Swear on their softness that you won’t spoil the surprise.”

With a cheeky smirk, he spreads his large hands against your waist. 

“I swear I won’t—,” he says into your right boob through your sweater with a kiss, mirroring the action on the other breast, “—ruin your surprise.”

“Thank you,” you hum, running your fingers through his hair, kissing his forehead before you get up, moving to the bedroom and closing the sliding door. Moving to your side of the bed, you pull out a box from underneath mattress, moving to slide on the satin bra and panty set you got from a local boutique. With the bra straps on properly, you tie the long satin tails that act as cups into a nice big bow, mimicking the motion for the ties that are on the hips of the matching panties. Whipping your head up and down to revitalize your hair from the day, you take a deep breath before you open the door, expecting to see Matt on the sofa. 

“Matt?” you call as you move into the living space, looking around as you try to find where your boyfriend disappeared to into the apartment. “Matt, where ar—?”

“I need you to help me figure something out, sweetheart. Were you naughty or nice this year?”

Turning around in the dark apartment, your eyes finally focus at the top of the roof access staircase. In all his glory, Matt leans with a smirk against the old brick, bare chested with Santa pants of all things hanging low on his hips, the suspenders on the waist leaning haphazardly down, while a red fuzzy hat sits on his head.

“Your heart rate is telling me you might have made the naughty list this year, angel,” he says as his smirks grows, slowly descending the steps. 

“N-No,” you stutter. “I’m just . . . Surprised by the outfit.”

“Why?”

The incoherent stutters that fall from your lips only make Matt laugh as he makes his way over to you, resting his hands on your waist and pulling you in for a kiss before resting his forehead on yours. 

“Too much?” he whispers, his thumbs moving back and forth on your skin.

“No, not at all,” you tell him. “Like I said, I’m just surprised.”

“Why?” he tries again. 

“I didn’t know how you’d be about sexy Santa. Actually, I didn’t know how you’d feel about making anything Christmas related sexy.”

“Well, it’s a little odd. The pants are really nice and soft, though. And, the way I look at it, we’re not making the root of Christmas sexy, just a commercial element sexy. Now, let Santa unwrap his gift,” he whispers, his voice at a dangerously rich and gravely timbre, his hands slipping down over the globes of your ass, squeezing the exposed flesh.

“Mm, but I thought patience helps you get on the nice list?” you hum as you begin to place slow kisses onto his chest, pulling him by his dangling suspenders to keep him close as you step back toward the bedroom. “Patience is a virtue, after all.”

“Virtue, suggestion,” he chuckles, moving his hands up to the side of your face to kiss you. “Please?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” you smile against his lips as he lies you down on the mattress, pillows at your head. “Open me up, Matty.”

“Mm, thank you, sweetheart,” he hums, his large hands gliding across the surface of your thighs and spreading you open, allowing him to get closer into your body. As his hands move up, his thumbs swipe against the satin of my bra. “It’s such a pretty bow. Hate to ruin it.”

“I can guarantee you, the things underneath it are prettier and softer.”

Matt lets out a soft “Ah”, his smile growing wide on his tender expression before he kisses you, pressing soft embraces down from your lips to your neck, and finally to your chest before his teeth take hold of the ribbon’s tail and gently tug it undone. You let out a little gasp, partially from the cool air of the loft, partially from the way the satin drags along the sensitive skin. Instead of using his hands like you expect, Matt nuzzles his nose against the fleshy mounds, placing little kisses all over the supple skin. You moan softly as he embraces your breasts, leaving no centimeter of the skin untouched, his lips desperately chasing the fatty flesh as it moves around. You gasp when you feel his large, calloused fingers graze the side of your breast as his mouth catches the other one between his lips, sucking at the nipple.

“So good, Matty,” you whine, the hot breath through his nose fanning over your chest as he opens his eyes and tilts his head up, working to lock eyes with yours. The Santa hat remains on his head, but only slightly. “Baby . . .”

Matt slowly pulls off of your nipple, moving to leave wet kisses all over the rest of your chest and up your neck.

“Can I unwrap the rest of my gift, angel?” he gravels, his beard scratching against your skin.

“Of course, Matty. But there’s something I’d like to do first?”

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you switch your positions on the mattress, letting the bra slide down your arms and off of your body. As you flick it to the side, you move down Matt’s body, grazing your fingertips along his pants, slowly moving to peel them off of his body. He lifts his hips up in an effort to help, letting you slide the velvety fabric off so it can join your bra on the floor. But before you can bend down and take hold of Matt’s rock-hard cock, he stops you.

“Hold on, angel,” Matt hushes. Your eyebrows pull together in confusion as he twists to the side and rummages through his bedside drawer. When he lays his back back down, you have to work not to laugh at the sight before your eyes. 

“You are a stupendous dork,” you laugh, your smile so bright it lessens your view of him. 

“What? It’s Christmas rules—kiss what’s under the mistletoe,” he smirks as he dangles a fake sprig of the weed over his semi-hard cock.

“Well, I can’t upset Christmas rules,” you chuckle, kissing his tip and all the way down to the base, repeating the motions all over his length. Somewhere in your process, the mistletoe doesn’t get held as high before it’s eventually on the ground with out other pieces of clothes.

“(Y/N),” he breathes.

“Yeah, Matty?” you murmur against his base by the patch of small, dark curls on his skin. “Can I suck you off, Matty? There’s no more mistletoe.”

“I need your lips around me, angel. Please.”

With a long lick, you bring your lips back up to the tip and slowly take him in your mouth, having to be conscious of his girth. Each bob of my head brings you down a bit farther on his length until you’re roughly an inch and a half shy of taking him all the way.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so good,” he praises as he gathers up your hair, making sure you don’t swallow any of your locks as you go up and down. “So good for me, angel.”

The head of his cock his the soft flesh of the back of your throat, coating it with his salty precum, the movements only making you gag slightly. He helps you create opportunities to readjust as you go down on him, wanting to make sure you’re comfortable as you work. As you breathe through your nose, you bring your hands down to fondle Matt’s heavy sack, making sure he’s thoroughly taken care of. Between your hand and your mouth, you can feel every last ridge and vein that will bring Matt pleasure, and you briefly wonder if this is even a fraction of what Matt feels—being able to sense every last thing around him. Maybe you just know his body well enough. Whatever it may be, Matt guides you up and off of him by your hair, allowing a long line of saliva to connect from his dick to your chin. He pulls you into a a deep kiss, the embrace wet, needy, and sloppy with passion. As you straddle his waist while out tongues go back and forth, you can’t help but grind into his gorgeously defined muscles, spreading the slick pooling in your satin panties all over the fabric. Matt’s hands slide down to the globes of your ass, squeezing the flesh before giving both cheeks a firm smack, the sound echoing in the spacious bedroom as the sting spreads across your skin. You bite down on his lip as you kiss as response, which only makes Matt moan into your mouth, repeating the movement with his hands once more before he leans forward, your back returning to the mattress while his hands slide around to spread your legs wide.

“Do you want me to eat with your panties on, angel?” he teases as he kisses and marks up your inner thighs. “Would you like that, angel? Or do you want my mouth on your pussy and my fingers in you?”

“It wouldn’t be much of a present if you didn’t unwrap the rest of it,” you hum, biting your bottom lip as you watch him worship your inner thighs.

Dragging his fingertips up the sides of your legs, he finds the bows and pulls them undone, his hands sliding your hips up so you’re slightly off of the mattress. He grasps your panties with his teeth and slides it away from your body, only briefly removing his hands from your legs to take the fabric and throw it aside. His large, calloused digits are quick to move back between your legs, two of his fingers grazing and expertly parting your soaked lips. Matt brings his mouth close to your core, enough for you to practically feel his lips on you, only for him to hover just far enough away from you. He lets out a shallow breath from his mouth, pulling a sound that is part wanton moan, part erotic pornography sounds from you, as he coats your heat with his. When he is satisfied with his work, his lips wrap right around your swollen clit, gently sucking as his tongue slips in every now and then while he works.

“Fuck,” you choke out as he devours you, his beard tickling and scratching at your thighs. “Matthew!”

He just hums into you, sliding two fingers into your core while his other hand wraps around your hips to keep you down as your body begins to writhe and buck uncontrollably. He moans into your dripping cunt, which only makes you cry out into the room louder. Matt moves his tongue and mouth faster while his fingers tickle and scratch your inner spongy walls as his mouth rips a violent orgasm from you. You scream out at the top of your lungs as your body arches off the mattress, an entire sheen of sweat spreading over your skin as Matt relentlessly drags out your orgasm until the contracting muscles of your uterus physically hurt.

“Matty, Matty, oh God, Matt,” you groan, sounding like a woman possessed as he pulls his fingers out of you and releases your clit from his mouth, a line of slick connecting your core to his lips before licking his fingers clean and giving the swollen bundle of nerves a few gentle kisses. Matt places a few kisses on your inner thighs before going straight up your body and to your lips, holding your face in his hands as you kiss one another deeply and passionately.

“More, Matty,” you moan into his lips, pulling at his bottom lip between your teeth. “This gift isn’t over til you cum, baby.”

Matt laughs so warm and happily, it’s like the sun is in the bedroom. 

“Whatever you say, angel. You are the gift giver, after all,” he affirms, his lips puckering all along your collarbone.

“Tell me how you want it, Matt. What position do you want, Matty?”

Matt licks a long line up your neck to the shell of your ear, his Santa hat no longer perched atop his head. 

“I want you under me, on your back, your legs as far up as they can go, while I fuck you over and over,” Matt whispers in your hear, his voice deep and seductive in its commanding tone. “Can you do that for me, angel?”

“Yes, Matthew,” you breathe.

“Good girl,” he tells me with a harsh squeeze on my hips, his hands sliding back around your legs and bringing them as high up and as close to your chest as your body will allow. Matt slaps his cock repeatedly on your slick, swollen lips before he holds his dick steady as he pushes in, the angle of your legs making everything tighter and making you feel everything on a new level, making the feeling so extraordinary and increasing the pleasure. Bent in half like this, Matt easily hits your back wall and has no problem pounding into you over and over once he gets the angle just right. His strong arms help hold your legs in place, his hands cradling your neck, thumb on your cheeks as he brings his mouth to yours, kissing you deeply and repeatedly as he hits the special spongey spot in you again and again. Your hands grip his muscly arms, pressing little red and angry half-moon shapes of your fingernails into his fair and hairy skin. 

“So fucking good, angel,” he grunts into your mouth. “Fuck, s’tight and wet.”

“God, you’re so big!” you whine.

“God isn’t here, angel. Just me, my cock, and your tight cunt.”

“Ma—aahhh! Just like that, Matty, right there!”

The way that Matt’s pelvis slams into the back of your thighs is insane, hitting every right spot over and over again as you start to see stars.

“Sounds like you’re close again, angel,” he grunts. “Are you gonna cum for me again?”

“Mmm!” you whine.

“Words, babygirl.”

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” you cry out.

“Squeeze my cock, angel. Cum for me.”

With one more hard thrust in just the right spot, you have another earth-shattering orgasm at the hands of your boyfriend. His grunts and the way his hips begin to falter tell you that he’s not going to last much longer if he keeps snapping his hips like that.

“S-Stay inside me,” you beg, holding onto his shoulders. “Fu—Cum inside me.”

Matt’s face contorts, his mouth hanging open and his brows furrowing in pleasure as he moans loudly, hitting deep and releasing his large load. You lie on the bed panting, impossibly close to one another as you both come back down to earth from your cosmic highs.  

“Holy shit,” you breathe before you tilt your chin up and press a kiss to his pink, swollen lips. 

“I know,” he chuckles with a little grin.

With a few more kisses, he leans back and pulls out to unfold you. As he does, you can feel his cum dribble out of your hole.

“Fuck, that smells nice, you and me together like that” Matt breathes as his thumbs rubs back and forth on your legs. “You’re so beautiful, angel.”

“You’re not bad yourself, there, Murdock.” Taking his hand in yours, you pull him back down on the mattress with you. “Did you like your gift?”

“I loved it,” he smiles, rolling into you for a kiss.

“I mean, I still have an actual gift for you, not just amazing sex.”

“Aw, you shouldn’t have,” he teases. “I love you.”

“I love you more. But I do have a question, though.”

“Mm?”

“Do you think we just got ourselves put on the naughty list for all of that?”

The room is silent before you both burst out in laughter and snuggle into one another. 

“I think an exception can be made for us—we were doing something nice for one another.”

“A lawyer through and through, you are.”

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N).”

“Merry Christmas, Matt.”

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[andreafmn]

12 Days of Ficmas ❅ Day 1

Word Count: 4.8K Paring:  Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader Prompt @alloftheprompts: Character A and Character B broke up but now they meet at a Christmas party.

Summary: In unpredictable Beacon Hills, Stiles and (Y/N) being together was one of the only things that made sense. But sometimes the smallest of changes can create the biggest of chaos. And a simple college admission letter can do just that. Maybe all it takes is the right Christmas gift to make things better.

A/N: yup, that's right, I'm doing 12 Days of Ficmas again (even if I haven't finished Kinktober 🫣🫣 but I am nothing if not a masochist (and a slight procrastinator) But enjoy!! This story actually made me tear up, honestly. But it wouldn't be one of my stories if there wasn't an insane amount of angst 😅 Also, disclaimer, I have not seen the last two seasons of Teen Wolf or the movie so, sorry for any inconsistencies.

Next ->

“Let’s just get this over with,” (Y/N) sighed as she fixed the Santa hat on top of her head. “They don’t have to know yet.”

“Yeah,” Stiles grimaced. “It’s better to wait until after the holidays, I guess.”

It was the first time Stiles and (Y/N) had ever been terrified to enter Scott’s house and face all of their friends. Even worse, they had to pretend everything was fine between them. 

Since they were little, the pair had been inseparable. Being next-door neighbors allowed them to grow close at a rapid pace. It was in her that he found solace on the nights his mother’s illness would take the best of her mind. He would run over to her house and climb the lattice that ran all the way up to her room. 

And she wouldn’t ask questions. (Y/N) would simply let him in through her window and distract him until he eventually drifted off to sleep. She did not need any explanations or reasons to comfort Stiles. She simply knew he needed her, and so she was there for him. Because if there was anything she knew of, it was the pain of slowly losing a parent.

They shared a bond that no one could break. Even as Scott entered their duo and they became the perfect trio, Stiles and (Y/N) shared a connection like no other. So, it came as no surprise to anyone when they got together. Even after Stiles had continuously professed his love for Lydia. Even after (Y/N) and Boyd had a quick fling. Everyone knew that it would be the two of them at the end of the day. 

What no one expected was that one day, they wouldn’t be Stiles and (Y/N) anymore. Hell, not even they had seen it coming. 

Their downfall had begun the second week of December. For some reason, the couple had not spoken about what happened after high school. In their senior year, they were focusing on the present, leaving the future where it was. Because what they didn’t know couldn’t hurt them. 

(Y/N) had applied under early action to various colleges, thinking nothing of it. But there was one college that had been her dream since her father had passed, and that was her only early decision application. She had worked every day since to make sure she was at least close to being accepted. But it was never a sure thing. 

She had promised herself to put it in the back of her mind. Stressing over that envelope would only drive her into madness. As much as she wanted it to be true, she knew the reality of the situation. The chances she could ever get in, much less with a full ride, were slim to none. And hoping only made things worse.

Still, that hadn’t stopped her from applying; it hadn’t stopped her from wishing. 

“Honey,” her mother had said one afternoon after she got home from school. “Look what came in the mail.” 

In her hands, there was a white manila envelope with blue lettering that clearly read: University of Oxford. 

(Y/N) could have sworn she could feel her heart in her throat, beating at an unnatural pace and threatening to leap out of her body. She crossed the distance between her front door to the kitchen faster than she had ever done before, needing to feel the paper in her hands. Only seeing it was not proof enough that it was real. 

“I don’t think I can open it,” the girl worried. “What if it’s bad, mom?”

“You won’t know unless you see, my darling,” she smiled softly. “But no matter what, you will still be the most impressive young lady I have known. And any college would be lucky to have you.”

With trembling hands, she broke open the envelope and pulled out a beautiful and crisp piece of white paper. “Dear (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” she read before taking a steadying breath. “It is with greatest pleasure that we inform you that the Admissions Comittee has decided to offer you admission to Oxford University through our binding Early Decision (ED) option on a full scholarship.”

As (Y/N) read those words, tears spilled from her eyes, and the papers fell from her hands. Her mother wrapped her arms tightly around her, showering her with words of love and encouragement. It had been everything she had worked for. Something not even the supernaturals of the world could take from her. 

“You’re going to Oxford, baby girl,” her mother cooed. “I knew you could. Your dad would have been just as proud as I am.” 

That moment should have been the happiest in her life so far. But there was a dark cloud that lingered over her as she celebrated. She had not told anyone she was applying to a college so far away, much less the reason she would be doing so. Mostly because she was terrified she wouldn’t get in. But part of her knew it was because she was leaving all her friends behind, leaving Stiles behind. And that was the hardest part. 

For the rest of the week, as she celebrated internally, she hid the biggest news of her life from all of her friends and the boy she had deemed the love of her life. Anyone would have thought she was the one harboring a secret supernatural life with the way she was guarding her secret. And, maybe it shouldn’t have been something she kept to herself. Maybe they would have all been excited for her and understood the reason for the distance. But something deep in her stopped her every single time. 

If her friends had noticed there was anything different from her demeanor, they didn’t say a thing. In the midst of final exams and the Christmas holidays soon approaching, everyone seemed to be stuck in their own heads. So, if they were in their heads, they couldn’t know there was something happening in hers.  

But that Friday night, at the same hour Stiles would always sneak in, (Y/N) knew there was no way she could continue to hide her secret any longer. 

“Come on,” he chuckled as he jumped onto her bed, holding his arms open. “Tell me what’s going on with you.” 

“What do you mean?” she said, forcing a smile. “Why do you say that?”

“You know you can’t lie to me. I may not have super hearing, but I can tell, (Y/N).” 

“Yeah,” she chuckled softly. “You know me too well.” 

“Of course I do,” he smiled as he crossed the distance between them and caressed the softness of her cheek. “Now, please, tell me what’s wrong?” 

That was it. That was the moment that had changed them, the moment that had broken them. 

(Y/N) took a steadying breath and took his hands in hers, focusing on the veins on his hands rather than his worried eyes. “I got a letter last week,” she started with a sigh. “I told you about all the colleges I had applied to as early action.” 

“Of course, you bright mind, you,” he said. “Did you already start getting the acceptance letters?” 

“Uh, there’s another college I actually applied to. Early decision.”

“Like binding early decision?”

“Yeah, exactly,” she said, her voice trembling as she spoke. “I, uh, I applied to the University of Oxford. And I got in.”

Instead of embracing her, Stiles dropped her hands, taking a step away from her. “In England?” he asked as though he was offended. “Why would you wanna go that far?”

“It’s not about the distance,” she grimaced, finally meeting his hurt eyes. “It’s about what that school means. That’s where my dad went to school. That’s the place my parents met. That was the school that started my entire life, Stiles.” 

“So, why didn’t you tell me about it? If it was so damn important, why did you never mention it?” Stiles seethed, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “You wanna start a new life, is that it? Follow in your parents’ footsteps and meet the love of your life there? Great, (Y/N). And you made sure you did it in a way you couldn’t back out.”

“Stiles, that’s not…”

“So, what? Were you gonna wait until graduation to tell me that you were moving halfway across the world to get away from us? From me?” the boy cried. “Or were you simply going to disappear and start a new life without telling anyone? But I guess that’s your thing now, huh? Keeping big shit like this until you can’t anymore.”

“That’s not fair, Stiles,” she frowned, hugging her arms tightly across her torso. “I didn’t want to get my hopes up, so I didn’t say anything. That doesn’t mean that I would have never told you about it. I’m not looking to escape. I’m looking to start my future.” 

“And it looks like you were starting it without me then,” he croaked. “What does that mean for us, (Y/N)? We ride it out until graduation, and then you leave for the rest of your life?” 

“I don’t… you wanna b-break up?” 

“It’s inevitable now, isn’t it?” Stiles said in a tone that broke her more than the words he was speaking. “You’re gonna be in England, and I’m gonna be god knows where. It’s better just to do it now.” 

That night was nothing like she had imagined it would be. She had hoped Stiles would have been excited for her and promised her everything would be alright. That somehow he would have the answers to how they could withstand so much distance because they had to make it. Out of everyone in their friend group, those two had to make it. 

Instead, it had taken a turn for the worse. One second, Stiles was standing before her with a smile on his face, and the next, he was leaving through her window with tears streaming down his face. What she had most been dreading was that scenario to play out, and a week before their friend’s holiday party, it had. They had gone through life-threatening and mind-boggling situations, but it was a college acceptance letter that broke them apart. 

The coming days (Y/N) spent buried in bed. Although she should have been celebrating one of her biggest achievements –other than saving lives and defeating many, many creatures– she had wasted more tears during that time than she had done the past years of her life. She was distraught and defeated, and she had no idea how she would make it through the last semester of high school, much less how she would have made it through a Christmas party. 

Somehow, they had arrived at Scott’s house at the same time, even after she had made sure she left twenty minutes after Stiles. The universe liked to play its mean tricks, but that one was almost unforgivable. 

“Let’s just try to stay out of each other’s way,” he grimaced. “The less we are near each other, the harder it’ll be for them to find out.” 

“Harder to find out what?” Scott asked as he swung the front door open, his signature goofy grin stretched across his mouth. Instinctively, Stiles draped his arm around (Y/N)’s shoulders and smiled brightly. “Ooh, did you bring your brownies, (Y/N)?” 

“Yeah,” she smiled. “Still warm from the oven.” 

“Wouldn’t be a party without them,” Stiles commented. “Now, let us in. It’s kinda cold out tonight.” 

The second they were inside, Stiles broke for the living room while (Y/N) moved to the kitchen with Scott. She set the tray on the overfilled kitchen island, noticing to the side that the dinner table was perfectly set up. “Oh, the table looks nice,” she commented. “But I thought we’d be doing something more low-key.” 

“Yeah,” he chuckled awkwardly. “Lydia thought it’d be fun to do a more grown-up dinner party.” 

“Yeah. Place settings and everything.” 

“We were waiting for you guys to start eating,” he said. “We’re doing gifts after.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

Slowly, the rest of the group trickled into the kitchen, greeting and hugging (Y/N) as they looked over all the food and served themselves their plates. And, of course, her seat was right next to Stiles’. Even if she had wanted to sit anywhere else, the rest had already taken their assigned seats, and the only open spot was the one that had her name. 

She gave her ex-boyfriend a small smile, looking anywhere but into the brown of his eyes. Her heart beat against her chest, threatening to jump out of her body. It made her fidgety as everyone ate, thinking any of the wereanimals around her would be able to tell how she was feeling. 

But Scott was laughing with Stiles, Malia was talking to Lydia, and Hayden, Liam, and Mason had their own conversation running. (Y/N) was all by herself. She was surrounded by all the people she loved, but it was the loneliest she had felt in a long time. Without the usual comforting words from Stiles, she couldn’t help but feel so out of place. It was the happiest time of the year, but the girl was miserable, and it hurt that it didn’t seem like the boy she loved was sad as well. 

“Alright,” Lydia spoke up as everyone ignored their mostly empty plates. “Now that our bellies are full, I think it’s time for Secret Santa! And I truly hope you all kept it a secret this time.” 

“Not that it’d matter anyway,” Liam chuckled. “We all know we ask for help every time.” 

“Anyways,” she said, ignoring the soft laughter that erupted from the group. “Let’s go to the living room, and (Y/N) you’ll go first.”

“Oh, uh, sure,�� she smiled as she followed the group into the living room. She crouched under the decorated Christmas tree, pulling out the gift that had been there for almost two weeks. “I got Lydia.” 

“How wonderful!” the redhead mused, quick to hug her friend and rip away the wrapping paper. Inside the gift box was a mosaic picture of Lydia, Allison, and (Y/N), the first time they had finally considered each other friends. “Oh, it’s beautiful! I wish I could take it with me everywhere.” 

“It was hard to get it just right, but I loved how it turned out.” 

“It’s perfect, (Y/N),” she beamed. “Thank you.” 

“Of course. I love you, Lids.” 

“Love you too,” the girl said as she wrapped her friend in a tighter hug. “My turn!”

Lydia had gifted Liam nine books out of his TBR list —nine because of his lacrosse number. Then, Liam gifted Scott a new leather jacket so he could “actually look cool when riding his motorcycle,” Liam snickered. Scott then gifted Malia a light blue hoodie to add to her ever-growing collection, while Malia gifted Hayden a journal and pen set, saying it was for when her mind felt too busy. After a warm smile and a hug, she announced her gift was for Mason, laughing as he pulled out an ugly cat sweater. Once the loud laughter subsided, Mason gifted Stiles a massage mat for his Jeep. 

“For when you’re taking really long drives,” the boy smiled, clearly proud of himself. “There’s quite some distance between here and D.C. It’ll come in handy.” 

“Yeah,” he chuckled as he hugged Mason. “Thanks, man. It’s great.” 

“Don’t mention it.”

As Mason sat back down, Stiles cleared his throat as he pulled the last gift. Everyone knew by then who it was for. There was no one else left. “Well, I guess you all know who this is for,” he said. “I hope you like it, (Y/N).” 

The girl received the bag with a soft smile, trying her best to swallow the tears that were threatening to spill. She had forgotten for a second how cruel the universe could be. She pulled out the white tissue paper first before finding a beautiful brown bear dressed in a blue knit sweater. Around its neck, there was a necklace with something she could only assume was a soundwave. With curiosity washing over her, she looked to Stiles for an explanation. 

“Uh, so, it’ll make a lot more sense if you press the bear’s hand,” he stammered. Once she died as told, the sound broke her. From deep in the belly of the teddy bear, her father’s voice rang out, singing the words of “You Are My Sunshine.” There was not a single night when she was little that her father didn’t sing that to her, and even as she grew old for the lullaby, he would call her sunshine. “I got a recording from your mom of your dad singing the song when you were a baby,” Stiles spoke over the music. “And the necklace is the image of the soundwave of your dad calling you sunshine.” 

Tears had long since fallen down her cheeks, clutching the bear in her arms as though it was her own father. With her eyes closed, it was almost as though he was right there, singing to her. But it was what came after the song that shattered her. “You’re gonna do great things, (Y/N),” her father said through the bear. “I love you forever, my little sunshine.” 

At that moment, all she wanted to do was hug Stiles and kiss him like she had done a million times before. That was the boy she had fallen in love with. The one that cared and listened. The one that had made her heart race and her stomach turn into butterflies. She wanted to tell him she loved him and never let him go, but she couldn’t. Just like she could never do with her father. 

“I, uh,” she said as she stood from the couch, feeling as though she would faint in the crowded room. “I need some air.” 

(Y/N) stammered her way out of the living room and through the front door, only allowing herself to break down when she was at the end of the driveway. She fell to her knees and hugged the bear to her chest as she cried, letting the hurt that had accumulated over the years spill onto the pavement. In less than six months, she was going to walk into a new life halfway across the globe without the support of her father and now, without the support of Stiles. All alone. 

She should have been celebrating. She knew that. She should have been crying tears of joy and jumping into her love’s arms. Instead, it was the bear’s arms that she could feel. The softness of its fur, the sound of her father’s voice. 

Without even realizing it, she had begun singing along to the lullaby, sniffling between words as the tears didn’t relent. “You’re gonna do great things, (Y/N),” her father said once more through the bear. “I love you forever, my little sunshine.” 

“I love you too, dad,” she cried. 

“Hey,” his voice startled her. Through teary eyes, she looked up to find Stiles draping a jacket over her shoulders. He slid to the ground next to her, facing the house before them as she was now. “I’m sorry. I bought the gift weeks ago, and I wasn’t sure if I was still allowed to give it to you.” 

“No, it was… i-it was perfect,” she stammered, running her hand over the bear’s fur. “It’s just everything rushed over me. Like the breakup, the fact that I won’t be here next year, the fact that my dad won’t even see me gradua…”

Another string of sobs ransacked (Y/N)’s body, but that time it wasn’t the bear she was hugging. Stiles had wrapped his arms around her, pressing her into his chest. She could smell his cologne and feel his warmth, a feeling she had missed for the past seven days. All she wanted was to melt into his touch and profess to him all that she felt. But she couldn’t. Not anymore. Because he didn’t want it. 

“I didn’t want things to be this way,” she cried into his chest. “I didn’t want everything to fall apart.” 

Stiles remained quiet as she cried, a hard feat for someone like him. But he let her cry and cry until only quiet sniffles filled the air. Because he hadn’t wanted things to be that way either. 

He knew he had overreacted. When he had told (Y/N) his plans of enrolling in George Washington University all the way across the county, she had told him they could make it work. Especially if she got into any of the ivy leagues she had applied to on the East Coast. It had been fine. Hell, it had been perfect. 

But when she told him that she wouldn’t just be a couple of states away but that she would be on another continent, he couldn’t help but let his abandonment issues take control. 

He knew she was brilliant. He knew she deserved to do and be all that she had dreamed. But he feared that once she achieved all of her goals, he would just not fit into her life anymore. 

“You’re gonna go on to do great things, (Y/N),” he sighed sadly as her tears stopped. “You’re gonna go to Oxford, just like your parents, and you’re gonna probably graduate at the top of your class on your way. And I’ll be here —well, in Washington, technically—cheering you on.”

“But why couldn’t we be great together, Stiles? We couldn’t we both go on to do great things, together?”

“Come on, (Y/N). Once you’re there, you’re gonna meet so many people, and you’ll have guys falling on their knees for you,” he chuckled dryly. “I won’t fit into your new world. I mean, you said it yourself: that’s where your parents met and your life began. And now, maybe you’ll have a new beginning. And years from today, we’ll run into each other, and you’ll tell me about your job and your husband and your kids, and I’ll be so happy for you. Because you serve all the love and happiness in the world, even if it’s without me.”

“Have you even asked yourself if that’s what I want?” (Y/N) asked as she left his warm embrace, her red eyes boring into his. “I’m not leaving because I’m searching for a new life. I want to go to Oxford because it’s one of the last things I can share with my dad. I can walk down the same halls he did, I can take classes in the same classrooms, and eat at the same places he did. But I was always going to come back, Stiles. Because my friends are here, my mom is here, because you are here. I don’t want to run into you and talk about another man or the kids I would have with him. I don’t want to run into you at all. I want to walk beside you, Stiles. If I ever have kids, it’s only if they’re a part of you too,” she cried, fresh tears falling down her already-stained cheeks. “If you don’t love me anymore, then fine. I can understand that, and I can walk away. But don’t you dare say that you wouldn’t fit into my life because you’ve been there longer than anyone I know, and I need you to be there until the end. Because I already lost someone important to me and I can’t lose you too. Not you.” 

“(Y/N), I don’t want to lose you either,” he sobbed. “But how can we fight with the distance? How could we ever withstand the fact that we’ll be an ocean away?”

“We have gone through worse battles than a plane ride, Stiles. We have been on the brink of death more times this past year than any person would in their lifetime. Do you really think being in a different time zone is the limit to our relationship? I know the future isn’t promised but you were the one person I always knew would be there.”

“I’m scared, okay?! I’m scared that you’ll meet someone better than me, (Y/N). I’m terrified that you’ll realize that maybe I’m not the guy that can give you your happy ever after,” he finally confessed. His voice croaked, and his chest heaved as the words fell out of his mouth faster than he could ever stop them. “This week has been torture without you. But it’s made me realize that Beacon Hills has always been too small for you. After May, you’re gonna go out there and find your place. And this town will be nothing but a memory you’ll come back to.”

“There is no one better for me than you, Stiles, and Beacon Hills will always be my home,” she replied softly. Her cold hand found his cheek, and she wiped away his tears with her thumb. “I don’t want to know a life where you’re not there. You can’t give up on us without even trying, Stiles. You just can’t.” 

Without thinking twice, (Y/N) crashed her lips onto his, sinking into the warmth of his mouth. After a week, kissing him felt like the very first time. It was desperate and filled with need —the need for closeness and passion, the need for love. Instinctively, Stiles’ hands found her waist and pulled her closer to him, wondering how he ever thought he could live without her touch. 

“I love you, Stiles, and I don’t even want to think about ever having to love someone else,” she whispered as she parted from him. “My heart belongs to you. And if this is the end, it’ll still remain in your hands.” 

“I couldn’t love anyone else like I love you, (Y/N),” he replied with a soft smile. “But I just can’t help the thoughts that flood my brain sometimes.” 

“Then don’t listen to them and listen to me when I say that since the moment I met you, I’ve known you were it for me. There is no other man waiting for me in Oxford. It’s you, and it will always be you,” (Y/N) said before kissing him softly once more. “You’re the best thing that has happened to me, Stiles Stilinski, and you’re the only thing that I want to keep happening to me.”

“I can’t believe I ever broke up with you. Especially during Christmas,” Stiles chuckled as he rested his forehead against hers, flicking the tip of her nose with his own. “It was honestly the worst week of my life.” 

“Including being possessed?” Scott’s voice startled them as he came into view. “Although, I get it because this was completely avoidable.”

(Y/N) chuckled as she took Scott’s extended hand and got on her feet, wiping away any tears that still remained. “Did you hear that whole thing?”

“More or less,” he chuckled. “It’s a bit hard not to when I was coming to see if you guys were okay.” 

“We’re good now, Scotty,” Stiles grinned. “Just had some unresolved feelings to work, though.” 

“Can you not mention the whole thing about the breakup? I don’t wanna make it a whole thing.”

“That’s a bit hard, (Y/N),” Malia called from the open front door. “We all kind of already know.”

“Oh, cool, great,” she said as she hid in Stile’s embrace. “That’s not embarrassing at all.”

“Eh, at least our parents are back together,” Liam commented. “Best Christmas present.” 

“It really is, huh?” Stiles whispered as he kissed the top of her head. 

“Yes. Very cute and adorable,” Lydia added in a desperate tone. “Now, can we go back inside before Hayden and Mason finish all the brownies?”

As the group walked back into the house, Stiles and (Y/N) shared one more moment together on the front porch. “Hey, look up,” Stiles said with a smile. “Mistletoe.”

“Funny that they’d hang that at a werewolf's home,” she chuckled. “Although, I’m pretty sure that one’s plastic.”

“And I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to kiss me.”

“Maybe I’m waiting for another guy to kiss under the plant.” Stiles frowned at her words, and all she could do was laugh. “Too soon?”

“Much,” he said. “Now, come here.”

He snaked his hands on either side of her face and kissed her passionately. He kissed her for every day they had spent apart. He kissed her for every hurtful word he had spewed. He kissed her as a promise of his love for her. Stiles kissed her like she was his future. 

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Summary: Everything is all set with the first snowfall coming around, now all you need is your husband to come home.

Pairing: Sebastian Vettel x Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: cursing, angst if you squint (I think?), teeth-rotting fluff (hopefully), strangers to lovers (kinda) bee- cause why not hehe, and Seb being adorable >:(

A/N: I know I said this was meant to be out on Seb’s birthday but I got caught up with college work and got lazy, so I apologise to those who waited. This is not proof read or beta read (so advance apologies for the terrible writing).

Comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated!

December finally came around Switzerland, and you were currently residing on the couch, holding a mug of hot chocolate as you tuned in on the television listening to the weather news report. When you heard the announcer mention that the first snowfall will be seen sometime this week, the corner of your lips curled upwards, forming a grin as you squealed like a little kid getting candy.

While others dreaded the coming of winter and its sub-zero temperature, it was no secret to anyone that knew you that it is your favourite season. From its white snow covering the houses and streets that allows you to make snowmans and snow angels to the Christmas lights that brightened up the long, pitch black, endless nights, to the cold weather that makes it absolutely perfect for cuddling.

Now all you needed to make everything complete was for your husband to return to your arms. Actually when you first met your now husband, it was like a usual cliché love story.

You were ordered by your boss to fly all the way to the Netherlands for an official work trip. Or well that was what you were supposed to be doing when you arrived in Amsterdam until the client you were supposed to meet up with ditched you.  

Now here you are miles away from your hometown, lost in a whole new foreign land with only a fair amount of pocket money and few changes of clothes.

You staggered along the streets, your phone in your hand as you made your way to the busy and crowded area trying to find the hotel your office booked for you while on the said trip.

Looking back on your phone, you sighed as you followed the directions on Google Maps. But after a few more minutes of this wild goose chase, you gave up and sat on a bench somewhere. Leaning your head on the bench, you rubbed your eyes, completely exhausted and jetlagged from the flight.

When you opened your eyes, you saw the setting sun slowly descend towards the horizon, casting a warm golden glow across the vast expanse of the sky. The sky transformed into a canvas of vivid colours, blending shades of orange, pink, and purple, creating a breathtaking display that captured your heart and soul.

You exhaled heavily, getting up from where you were seated as you carried on your venture to seek for your hotel. Turning on your phone, you followed the nearest route shown on the screen.

“You’ve arrived at your destination.”

Your ears perked up as soon as you heard those words. But the moment you looked up, the excitement you regained dissipated in a blink of an eye as you wince at the sight of the hotel. While you expected a cosy hotel that exuded an immediate sense of warmth and comfort, that would create an ambiance that felt like a home away from home, instead you were greeted by an odd and peculiar hotel that stood in stark contrast to its surroundings, defying conventional architecture and exuding an aura of eccentricity.

And as if the world knew your reluctance to step in, rain began to come down from the sky.

“Just my luck! Don’t tell me it can get any worse than this, right?” You groaned to no one in particular, your things starting to get soaked from the pouring water.

But like jinxing yourself as you said those words, it did in fact get much worse because when you went up the steps and tried opening the front doors, it was shut tight.

You kicked the door out of frustration before remembering that your things might be wet. Grabbing your luggage, you carried it up and placed it under the portico of the hotel before sitting on one of the steps, letting your skin seep the rain.

A few moments have passed and your body started shivering from the cold. You placed your arms on your thighs as you buried your face on your shaking hands, trying your best to warm yourself up.

“Stupid boss sending me on this stupid business trip. Fuck me!”

“You know you shouldn’t say that out loud when you’re alone in the dimly lit part of this street.” A voice suddenly piped up, making you jump from where you were seated, your hand holding your chest as you felt your heart race.  

You quickly whipped your head to where the sound came from and you saw a man with a messy, short light brown hair and blue eyes that was sparkling even in the darkness. He had a stubble growing on across his defined jaw that made him look mature.

“Don’t do that! Are you trying to kill me?” You sneered at the man who was holding back his laughter.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I saw you as I was walking past and I heard you say that, so I just wanted to warn you…”, he explained, looking genuinely sorry for his sudden appearance.

When you felt no rain on your skin, you looked up to see a black umbrella over your head being held by the stranger who frightened you.

“A-and you were getting drenched from the rain, so I was going to offer my umbrella…”, he proceeded to explain, gesturing at the umbrella he was holding up for the both of you.

There was a deafening silence that came after what he said as you pressed your lips in a tight line.

“Sorry, I should have minded my own business.”, he spoke up once more when he realised that he won’t get anything from you.

You let out a soft chuckle that only the two of you can hear before turning to face him, “You talk too much.”

His eyes widened at your remark, his cheeks turning into a shade of light red as he became flustered and self-conscious.

“It’s okay though… It’s honestly quite comforting that someone would be so kind to tell me.”, you followed up, noticing his embarrassment from your comment.

Now it was his turn to stay quiet, stunned as he heard you speak. He looked away, hiding a small grin that was forming on his lips. When he managed to control it, he turned back to you, tilting his head as his gaze fixed on you.

You felt his eyes bore holes into you and you can’t help but feel naked. Never in your wildest dreams did you ever think of finding yourself in this situation, but here you were with a stranger who was willing to share his umbrella with you, observing you like a hawk.

“I’m assuming you have a question…”, you spoke out, returning his stare.

His lips fell into a thin straight line as he realised that he must have been obvious. “I… Well, I was curious at why you were sitting here all alone at night. That hotel has been under renovation for months already…”, he explains in a small and soft voice.

You looked at him appalled, completely speechless at what you heard. “Y-you’re telling me that this place has been closed for months?” He nodded meekly in reply, seeming embarrassed as he moved his hands to his nape and rubbed it softly.

There was silence that surrounded you both as everything happening to you started sinking in. This must have been a set up from your company, knowing how much they despised you and wished for your downfall.

As the man beside you felt that you were in distress, he removed his coat and immediately placed it over your shoulders, squeezing it gently. “I know it’s not my place to ask, but if you want you can stay over my place? It’s not that far from here.”

He pursed his lips as he awaited your answer. He knows he’s just a stranger, but he couldn’t help feeling pity towards you. Besides you seem nice enough to be a killer acting helpless, so what could go wrong right?

“How am I sure you’re not some sort of murderer trying to lead me into a death trap?”, you ask after a few moments that definitely assured him you were not a killer.

He lets out a soft chuckle that breaks the stillness and awkwardness of the atmosphere. There was something about his laugh that made you feel warm and fuzzy despite the cold settling on your bones.

“Fair enough, but trust me if I was a killer, I would have gone a different way.” He says reassuringly before standing up and grabbing your luggage.

“Come on! Or would you rather stay here?” He gestures, carrying your things as he goes down the step.

Shaking your head in utter disbelief, you stood up and followed him, keeping a safe distance in case he tried to do something. You heard his laugh as he led the way, the fuzzy feeling growing and when he looked back at you, he gave you a wide and goofy smile that made your heart flip.

“Oh by the way, I’m Sebastian Vettel. But you can call me Seb.” He mentions before turning his back on you and starts walking again. You suppress a smile as you calm yourself down, reminding yourself that you just met the man and you should not trust him easily.

You quietly continued following him, shivering as it got colder even though it stopped raining already. As you both approached an apartment building, you felt a light and cool touch against your forehead.

As you look up to the sky, you witness a mesmerising spectacle unfold before your eyes. Delicate snowflakes, like ethereal dancers, descend from the heavens, gracefully floating in the air.

“S-snow?”, you said dumbfoundedly, halting in your tracks.  When Sebastian noticed that you weren’t following him anymore, he turned back to look at you looking enthralled as snow continued to fall.

“First time?”

As he broke your train of thoughts, you hummed and nodded in response as your eyes never left the sky.

“Guess I’m lucky that I’m the first person you get to experience a White Christmas then, huh?” He chimed, his tone filled with excitement as he watched you.

A few days after the weather report, you started setting up and decorating your home for Christmas as you waited for your husband to come home.

Grabbing your phone from the side table, you texted a message to your husband.

You: Love, when will you be back?

Sending the message, you threw your phone to the side, as you stood up from the couch, and started pacing back and forth in your living room. Minutes have passed and you looked at your phone for the nth time, debating whether you should send another message as you waited for his response.

As you were about to grab your phone and decide to send him another text, your phone notification pinged.

Seb Sugar Pie Honey Bunch: Sorry, liebling. I don’t know if I’ll make it in time to spend the first snow with you. I know how much this means to you, but I promise to make it up to you once I get home.

Can’t wait to be back in your arms. I love you xx

Reading his message, you couldn’t help but feel bummed down. The first snowfall was a special moment you annually celebrated with your husband. You shared many memories with him that included the first winter fall. Your first meeting, first official date, when you answered ‘yes’ as he asked you to be his girlfriend, when he proposed to you, when you got married, all those things happened during the first snow.

And experiencing the first one this year without him, it felt dull and meaningless. So as the next days came by, you did nothing but mope around, spending your morning and afternoon sleeping in your bed or eating ice cream while snuggling under a blanket as you sobbed to cringe, sappy romantic movies.

When the day of the predicted snowfall arrived, you excitedly hopped off your shared bed with your husband and ran down to the living room, waiting by the window.

An hour came by and seeing that there wasn’t any snow yet, you went to the kitchen to prepare yourself something to eat. Opening the fridge, you looked for ingredients you can use to make the easiest and lightest meal possible. Once you got it cooked and prepared, you sat by the island counter, beginning to chow down on it as your gaze never left the window.

Finishing your meal, you washed the dishes and cookware you used, placing them inside the dish dryer and wiping the kitchen and island counter. After cleaning up, you shuffled back to the living room and sat on the sofa as you looked out and waited for the snow.

While anticipating for the first snow to arrive, you kept yourself busy and distracted with everything you see, as well as trying to stray away from your phone. Turning on the television and stereo, you started playing music to liven up the mood, dancing around the living room.

Later when you checked outside, you saw little specks of white falling to the ground. Feeling the course of excitement filling your body, you grabbed the nearest shoes and slipped it on, not bothering to change out of your pyjamas before running to the front door.

As you emerge into the stillness of the wintry landscape, a hush blankets the surroundings. The familiar sounds of everyday life are muted, replaced by the gentle whispers of falling snowflakes. The world seems to hold its breath in awe of the transformation unfolding before your eyes.

While everyone went indoors, preparing for the incoming chilly weather, you stood in the middle of the lawn piling with snow, capturing the beauty it provided. Each snowflake falling from the sky, a unique masterpiece, intricately crafted by nature's hand. They fall gently onto your face and eyelashes, instantly melting upon contact, leaving a cool kiss on your skin. The air feels fresh and invigorating, carrying the scent of winter and a hint of pine.

Letting out a soft sigh as you let the cold envelop you, seeping through your skin, settling deep within your bones. Your breath becomes visible, a cloud of mist that hangs in the air for a fleeting moment before dissipating into the icy abyss. And looking around, you witness the gradual metamorphosis of the scenery. Every surface becomes a canvas for the delicate white flakes, transforming the landscape into a pristine, ethereal landscape. Trees, rooftops, and the ground itself are gradually covered in a soft, velvety layer of snow, as if nature has carefully tucked the world in for a peaceful slumber.

As you stand still, you can't help but be captivated by the silence. The snow absorbs the sound, creating a serene and tranquil atmosphere. The only audible presence is the gentle whisper of snowflakes landing on the ground, adding to the symphony of nature's delicate touch.

Looking up, you see the sky adorned with a tapestry of white, as countless snowflakes continue their descent from above. The world feels transformed, as if transported to a realm where time slows down, and worries and stresses melt away in the purity of the moment.

You hold your palms out to catch the falling snow, closing your eyes in the process as the cool snowdrops meet your skin. You let another sigh out as snowflakes gently make contact with your cheeks, nose, and eyelashes. At that moment, time seems to slow down. You become fully present, completely immersed in the serene beauty of the winter moment. The world around you takes on a dreamlike quality, as if you've entered a quiet sanctuary, a realm where worries and cares momentarily fade away.

Shortly after settling down with the cold, you felt something heavy on your hand, startling you as your eyes jolted wide open. Looking down you see your husband and his chin placed on your palm. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, thinking that you might be hallucinating from missing him too much. But when you opened your eyes the second time and still saw his goofy grin, your eyebrows furrowed.

When your significant other saw the perplexed look your face held, he pursed his lips tightly thinking that he must be doing something wrong.

“Is this not how I’m supposed to be doing?” He asked, looking at you through his eyelash.

You blinked a few times, your face contorting into an even more confused expression as your eyes showed mixed emotions at the thought of the man who told you that he won’t be home is the same man right in front of you right now.

“S-Seb? You’re-”

“Home... Surprise, liebling.” He interrupted, finishing your sentence as he suppressed a smile.

Still resting his chin on the palm of your hand, he tilts his head slightly, his famous gummy grin once more appearing on his face.

You stayed silently still, pursing your lips as your mind continued to process everything before letting out a soft sigh escape your lips as you come to the conclusion that you must be daydreaming.  

“Pinch me, I must be dreaming. You’re not really here, right? Because you told me that you won’t make it in time for this.” You went on, speaking about how he was not supposed to be here yet and other excuses.

As you were in the midst of your rambling, lost in a whirlwind of thoughts and words, you suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of his laughter. It cut through the air like a burst of sunlight, breaking through the cluttered maze of your thoughts and drawing you into the present moment.

The sound was like a gentle symphony, harmonising with the cadence of your own voice. It carried a warmth that permeated the room, infusing the space with a sense of joy and lightheartedness. In that instant, it felt as if the universe had conspired to align your words with his laughter, creating a perfect harmony.

The laughter flowed freely, like a bubbling brook that cascades over rocks, each note infused with genuine amusement. It was a melodic dance, rising and falling, as his mirth embraced your rambling thoughts. The sound of his laughter was pleasing that it distracted you from what you were saying.

And as the delicate snowflakes descend from the sky, gently blanketing the world around you, you find yourself standing in a moment that feels like pure magic. After months of longing and separation, your eyes finally meet those of your husband, and a rush of emotions swells within you.

The air is crisp and alive with anticipation, as the snowflakes create a soft, ethereal backdrop. The sound of muffled footsteps and hushed whispers seems to fade into the background, leaving only the two of you standing together in this wintry embrace.

As you draw closer, a nervous excitement tingles in the pit of your stomach, a mix of anticipation and relief that the long wait is finally over. The world around you seems to fade away, and all that matters is the connection between you.

Your gazes lock, communicating a depth of love and longing that words could never capture. Time seems to slow as he reaches out; his right hand cupping your cheeks while his left hand makes its way to your waist, snaking his arm around you as if he was afraid to let you go. The warmth of your touch contrasts with the coolness of the falling snow, creating a tender juxtaposition.

“How about I do this instead?” He whispers softly, his voice filled with happiness and love as his face advances to yours, his lips mere inches away from touching you.

And in that magical moment, your lips meet. The softness of the kiss feels like a gentle dance, a blending of warmth and tenderness that melts away any remaining distance or time apart. The taste of familiarity and love lingers, as if reuniting with a part of yourself that was temporarily missing.

As the snowflakes continue to descend around you, he tilts his head as he deepens the kiss, a fusion of emotions and longing that has built up over the months of separation. It's a moment of reconnection, a reaffirmation of your bond and the strength of your love.

The world around you seems to hold its breath, as if honouring this intimate and sacred exchange. The soft sound of snowflakes touching the ground becomes a gentle symphony, underscoring the significance of this long-awaited reunion.

As the kiss ends, a sense of contentment washes over you. The weight of the months apart is lifted, replaced by a renewed sense of togetherness and a shared journey moving forward. The snowflakes continue their graceful descent, serving as witnesses to this beautiful moment.

“Y-you’re really here?” You asked once more as the realisation finally settles down, your voice still filled with disbelief.

“I’m really here, my love”, Sebastian assures you, letting a soft chuckle out as he nuzzles his nose against yours, his arms still not letting you go.

You let out a giggle when his nose touched yours, tickling you in the process. You then wrap your arms around his neck, watching him. As you stare at him, your eyes become magnets, drawn to every curve of his face, every twinkle in his eyes, and every subtle expression that dances across his features. Your gaze is filled with wonder, as if you are discovering a masterpiece that was created just for you.

“I missed you so much, Sebby!” You murmured excitedly against his lips before connecting your lips to his once more.

And under the first snowfall, after months of not seeing your husband, the kiss becomes a testament to the enduring power of love and the joy of being reunited. It's a cherished memory that will forever be etched in your hearts, a reminder of the strength and resilience of your relationship in the face of time and distance.

Parting his lips away from yours, he gazes at you, his crystal blue eyes swirling with love and passion then enveloping you in a tight embrace, placing his chin on your head. He soon realised that you must have been cold to the bones as you shivered against his hug and when he pulled away, he laughed a little, noticing that you only had your sleepwear.

“You must have been quite excited that you did not have time to change clothes, huh?” He jokingly asked, teasing you.

You scoffed and gently shoved him, making him chuckle once more before drawing you near him, his arms wrapped around your shoulder.

“Come on, let’s get you inside and I’ll make you a cup of hot chocolate to warm you up.”

“Cuddles too?”, you meekly ask him and he nods, guiding you towards the porch.

“Mhm. And I missed you most ardently too, schatz.” Sebastian uttered softly, gently planting a tender kiss on your temple as you both made your way inside your sweet little home.

[jinhyun]

hellooo, my lovies!

as you may have noticed i haven't updated either of my ongoing series since september, and before the year ends i would like to clear things up and set things straight when it comes to them.

back in june i began this mandatory 6 months long apprenticeship in order for me to get my law degree, and tbh i got exploited the hell out of me, to the point that i would only think about work 24/7.

up until like the beginning of august i would still daydream and stuff and i came up with back to december way before that and i was so excited for it, but then i just got more and more work in the middle of august and from then on it never stopped. i was in a constant state of stress and anxiety, and i reached a point i had only once in my life before reached, in which i no longer daydreamed lol. i still don't really daydream anymore nor do i make up scenarios before going to bed like i always used to. i finished the apprenticeship in december 7th but there's still paperwork i'm turning in and my mind is pretty much numb at this point, idk how to explain it.

the thing is, although i've tried to take off from where i left the stories since i'm not working anymore, i can't bc i feel nothing. i no longer feel that spark or get excited about writing. sure, drabbles and those silly ot8 texts i've posted i'm okay with and genuinely enjoy writing, bc they're simple and don't require me to get as emotionally involved as a series does. but when it comes to watercolor and back to december i try and try and i just can't.

regarding watercolor, i haven't decided what to do with it yet but i think it's no news that i lost my excitement about it a good while ago. there's only one part left and then the epilogue, but if i'm being completely honest i'm considering just leaving it there and maybe write the epilogue right away.

as in for back to december, i'm putting it on hold indefinitely, mainly bc i don't know when i'm gonna be hit with the inspiration i used to have again and i don't want to keep you guys waiting. i've tried to finish the third part but it's been months and i only get frustrated when the words won't come to me like they used to, so it's not good for me either. just think of it as if it was discontinued but if i ever feel like writing for it again i will.

i know these are very shitty news but i can't keep pushing myself when i don't feel the joy i used to when it comes to writing stories. i hope it goes away soon though bc i do love writing and it's been my escape from reality my whole life, so this is hitting me really hard lol.

i may come back to btd in the future or i may come back with a whole new story i'm excited about, but for now i'm gonna stick to drabbles (or one shots if i feel like writing something longer idk) and fake texts.

i'm really sorry. i used to be really excited about both stories but life happened, and i thought you guys needed an explanation. i hope you understand<3