#IF HE WERE TO REMEMBER THE VOICE? id say it would become his lil own personal motivation. remembering it brightens his mood on bad days.

[juniemunie]

If we're not giving up, don't give up wherever you are.

That's a promise.

[free-pool-trash]

utopia- peter maximoff

yeah... im back being in love with Peter <3 enjoy loves <3

word count: 3k

warnings: angst and fluff, wandavision spoilers

id be open to writing more parts if anyone was interested <3 (I wrote this at 4am if it’s all over the place im sorry)

masterlist

You didn’t know much, but one thing was for certain; you didn’t belong here.

This morning you had opened your eyes and were met with a town that seemed like the very definition of the suburban dream. Your mind screamed at you as soon as you came to in the strange and indisputably new environment, telling you that this town was your home. The fact that you couldn’t remember anything before your eyes had fluttered open didn’t fill you with the utmost confidence about the legitimacy of the voice in your head, or the utopia that surrounded you.

All you knew was that you came here to look for someone. This someone was someone very important to you and you had a feeling that you were exactly where you needed to be to find this someone. There was one minor problem though; you didn’t have a clue who this special someone was, just that you needed to find him.

Cautiously, you found yourself wandering the town that seemed to be lost in time. All of its residents dressed like they were all attending an 80s themed party, yourself included. You couldn’t recall pulling on the ridiculous getup but that voice told you not to worry about it. It wasn’t long before you were in the middle of the town square, people bustled around you happily, all of them eerily going about their day as if they hadn’t a care in the world. Nobody looked stressed or sad or anything other than animatedly happy.

The realisation caused a slight panic to begin in your chest, there was something very wrong happening here and you didn’t know what. The very second you began to show anything that didn’t come across as positively blissful, the voice you’d been hearing since you opened your eyes sounded in your brain, louder than ever.

You are happy here. WestView is home. You are home.

Despite her soothing tone, you weren’t convinced.

“Who are you?” You demanded out loud, whipping your head in all directions, eyes set in a glare as you watched the citizens of the town acting none the wiser to your question.

Within seconds a woman appeared before you, a sweet smile on her face and two children by her side. “Hey there, you must be the new neighbour.” She spoke kindly, something familiar about the woman caused you to immediately relax in her presence although that relaxation felt somewhat… forced.

With a hesitant nod you looked around again, you brought your eyes back to the little family and offered them your best friendly smile, “It seems I must be, yeah.”

The lady giggled and held her hand out towards you, “Nice to meet you, I’m Wanda. And these two are Billy and Tommy.” You took her hand in yours, suddenly overwhelmed with an influx of thoughts that didn’t seem to be yours. Suddenly you were giving Wanda the most sparkling smile you could manage, not entirely sure why your mouth had formed such a smile for a complete stranger.

“Pleasure to meet you all.” Were the only words you could manage, still riddled with confusion as to what was going on.

Wanda returned your smile, Billy and Tommy seemed almost enamoured by you as they both stared at the new arrival. Glancing at her boys, Wanda knew she’d have to keep a very close eye on you, you were a mutant and stronger than even you knew, hard to control. But she had let you through her barricade as soon as she realised who you were and why you came.

“What’s your name?” Billy had asked and Wanda grew nervous as she noticed your eyes lose their smile for a second as you blanked on the simple question.

What was your name? It took you a moment or two before you regained your composure and extended your arm to the little boy in front of you who shook it excitedly, “Y/n. My name is Y/n, it’s really nice to meet you two.”

“Say, would you like to come and have dinner with us?” Wanda offered and you nodded your head gratefully.

“Dinner would be lovely. I’m feeling quite airy today, a good feed might help.” You told her with a laugh.

You walked to what you assumed to be Wanda’s residence, Billy and Tommy spoke excitedly to you as you walked, the pair of them strolled on either side of you fighting for your attention and entertaining you as they constantly tried to one up each other.

“You’re so cool! I can’t wait for uncle piet to meet you!” Tommy commented, prompting a soft smile from Wanda and an agreeing nod from Billy.

With a laugh you ruffled the boys’ hair, “Uncle Piet, huh? I bet I’m way cooler than that guy.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that.” Wanda laughed, her hold on you lessening as you began to relax on your own accord.

It only took a few more minutes until the four of you arrived at their house. As you entered you took a second to take in the interior, the 80s theme not as glaringly out of place to you as it had been earlier.

“Vis! Pietro! I’m home and I’ve brought a guest!” Wanda’s sweet voice sounded from the kitchen.

“Uncle Piet hurry up! Come meet our new friend!”

“Come on! Come on! Hurry up!”

Billy and Tommy yelled up the stairs impatiently and you smiled fondly at the boys, crossing your arms over your chest as you anticipated meeting ‘the funnest guy in the whole world’.

“M’coming! Jeez.” The deep voice made you freeze. For the first time since you arrived in WestView you could finally say you recognised something.

The thumping of feet running down the stairs had your heart beating out of your chest and when you finally came face to face with the man the twins had praised so highly you thought your ribs were at risk of breaking from how rapidly it was pumping.

The man looked at the twins, expectantly, “Alright. Where’s the one making you two so excited?” He hadn’t noticed you yet.

With a shaky breath, it bagan coming back to you, he was the someone you were looking for. He wasn’t just someone special, he was your love. And there he stood, silver hair unkempt as usual and his signature grin painted his lips.

“She’s-“ Billy started but Peter cut him off.

“She? You guys get yourself a lil girlfriend? Huh?” He wiggled his eyebrows and you couldn’t help the breathless laugh that left you. He was still your Peter. Funny, lighthearted, great with children and not completely thoughtless behind his gorgeous doe eyes like the rest of the town’s residents.

The airy laugh caused a shiver to run up his spine. No, you couldn’t be here. Not you. But he knew without even turning his head that it was you, his girl, the love of his life. The loyalist person he’d ever had the privilege of being able to love. Of course you’d follow him to a whole different reality.

He whipped his head in your direction, his mouth falling open as his eyes landed on your form, your eyes shining the way they always did when you’d see him after a long mission.

“Peter?” The boy felt his heart crack as your expression dissolved into something between confusion and panic. He quickly zoomed over to you and pulled you into him, pressing your head into the crook of his neck to hide your expression from Wanda who had yet to return from the kitchen.

His lips hovered close to your ear, “Pietro, you have to call me Pietro. I’ll explain everything, I promise just act natural for me, alright?” He murmured, moving his hand comfortingly up and down your back, aware that the twins were watching Peter pulled away but wrapped an arm around your shoulder and you forced yourself to smile as the pair of you faced the boys.

“How’d you guys manage to find my girlfriend in this dump?” He asked jokingly, smirking proudly as their faces dropped.

Billy glared and raised his little eyebrow at his uncle, “Your girlfriend?”

“You were right, you two. He definitely is the funnest person but I still win in the cool department.” You said, laughing nervously and hoped you weren’t being too conspicuous.

“Oh come on,” Peter groaned, “I haven’t seen you in forever and you’re already making fun of me in front of my nephews? That’s cold.” He pressed his lips to your temple, keeping them there for a few seconds, they were firm and sure and they let you know that he was really with you, you’d found him and he was real.

When Wanda re entered the room you felt your shock ebb as if it were being drowned beneath the surface before you could calm it naturally. You allowed your body to melt into Peter, your unintentional, sitcom worthy smile making his way across your lips again.

“Oh good, so you two have met then?” Wanda grinned, knowingly. Peter gave her a grin of his own.

“We’ve done more than meet.” He told her suggestively and you poked his ribs gently.

“You should’ve told me you were a Maximoff,” You giggled out as Peter littered your face with kisses while the twins gagged, the silver haired man pulled away from you for only a second to stick his tongue out at his nephews before he returned his attention to you as you chastised Wanda softly, “I would’ve been able to prepare myself to see this loser.”

Peter scoffed and gently pushed you away before speeding to catch up with your body. He wrapped his arms around your torso from behind and rested his chin on your shoulder, “She loves me really.”

Peter knew exactly what Wanda was after; a perfect family. He understood that’s what she wanted but he didn’t know how far she would go to achieve that goal. He had to make sure you played along, he couldn’t lose track of you again.

Your next words caused a stir in the hearts of both the siblings, your head was turned and your gaze was locked on Peter’s face, eyes free of any outside emotion as you broke out of Wanda’s hold and what Wanda read off your face wasn’t fear nor confusion, it was nothing but pure adoration for her brother.

“I do. I really do.” You told him, eyes becoming glassy before Wanda managed to regain control of your mind. You cleared your throat and gave Peter an airy smile, gently placing your lips against the curve of his jaw and he bit the inside of his cheek as he held you, allowing the conversation to flow easily and trying his best to support you as you unknowingly exhausted yourself fighting against his sister's hold.

He had a feeling you hadn’t remembered your mutation yet. You were one of the most powerful mutants Xaviers School had ever seen, your powers similar to Jean and Charles himself. Telekinesis was a tricky game, especially when you weren’t aware of it.

He remembered when he’d met you, you were with Charles and Hank, in his basement and asking for his help. He smiled to himself when he thought of how you’d been just as confused as him at the time.

You had no control over your telekinesis back then, similarly to now as you sat playing a board game with the twins, lights would flicker when you laughed and the very ground you walked on would shake if you got angry enough.

“Her mutation, it’s strong.” Wanda commented breezily as if it were nothing, floating through the kitchen going about her business as Peter’s eyes never left your form.

With a sigh he murmured, “She’s powerful, Wands. Trust me when I tell you that this whole thing could come crashing down if you don’t let her access her mutation.”

Wanda paused, her jaw clenched. With a flick of her wrist the panel that was allowing Peter to gaze at you from his place in the kitchen shut in his face. He turned to face Wanda then, an incredulous look on his face.

“What do you mean.” Peter only let out a tired laugh.

He shook his head, “Why did you let her in in the first place? You could’ve kept her out if you didn’t want her here.”

“She came for you, Pietro. You were the only thing on her mind. I didn’t realise she had power until I’d let her in.” She seethed, glaring at Peter.

“Maybe this was a mistake…” Wanda began, clenching and unclenching her hands as she considered her next actions. Noticing her uncertainty, Peter stood up and approached her as she spoke, “I should send her back.”

Panic flooded the speedster and before his sister could so much as move a finger he grabbed both of her hands in his, “No!” He shouted, desperately.

“Please don’t. I’ll look after her, just… just don’t take her away from me. Not again.” He begged, shaking his head frantically and Wanda knew in that moment that sending you away would create more problems than it would solve.

With a steady nod Wanda squeezed her brother’s hands, “She’ll stay here. But she’s your responsibility now. If she becomes a problem she’ll have to go.” His sister explained causing Peter to once again nod his head frantically.

“There’s an empty house next door. It’s yours, take her home, she’s tired I can tell.” Peter left the kitchen without another word, a smile on his face as if the conversation with Wanda hadn’t shook him to his core.

When he entered the living room he watched fondly as Billy tried to impress you and Tommy sat contently beside you. Wanda had released you from her influence and you were simply fighting sleep while simultaneously keeping the twins occupied. Even without your mutation, Peter knew you were a superhero.

“Alright, nerds. Stop bugging my girl.” Peter walked casually to the couch and pulled you up gently, kissing your temple like he had done earlier, “Let’s go home, sweetheart.”

When he pulled away you were looking at him, your expression somewhat defeated, “Home?” That’s right, he reminded himself, you didn’t know where home was.

He nodded gently, interlocking your fingers with his and led you to the front door.

“Bye boys!” He called over his shoulder, not bothering with a proper goodbye tonight.

True to her word, the house next door was vacant and ready for the couple to move into. As soon as the front door was shut Peter attached his lips to yours, feverishly moving his hands to your cheeks as you melted against him.

“I’ve been looking for you for so long.” You croaked, pulling away, select memories had began to return upon meeting his lips.

Completely overwhelmed you nuzzled your cheeks into his palms when tears began to leak from your eyes. Peter pulled you closer, bringing his forehead to rest against yours, “I know, baby. But I’m right here, I’ve got you.”

His words had only served to push you further towards the edge and you gripped his wrists to keep his hands in place, using him as an anchor. He shushed you gently once the picture frames nailed to the wall began to clatter against the plaster while you struggled to even out your breathing.

“I couldn’t think, Pete. I couldn’t- I couldn’t keep her out. There’s something so wrong here, we need to get out- we have to get out.” You rambled, tears streaming down your face now as the panic Wanda had pushed away from you earlier now manifested into a full blown panic attack.

“Hey, hey, hey, Y/n, look at me, okay? Neither of us are under her control right now, you’re safe, you’re with me and I’m not going to let her so much as flick her wrist at you, do you understand me?” He spoke steadily and sternly, caressing your face so gently as if he was afraid you’d break.

After a second or two, the walls stopped shaking and you let Peter guide you to the stairs and into a double room. Carefully, he undressed you and redressed you into the shirt he’d been sleeping in, something in him just knowing being surrounded by his scent would calm you down.

Your hands snaked around his waist after he finished getting himself changed, with a content sigh you pressed your lips against his shoulder before pulling away to look into his eyes, “You’re sure you’re okay?”

Peter nodded his head, eyes softening at your concern, “M’better now.”

Before you could respond Peter had zoomed the pair of you into the floral double bed. He lay on his back, his silver hair sprawled against the pillow and his eyes looking at you contently. You gazed at him from your space against his chest, your body completely flush to his, the arm he had wrapped around your waist making you feel safe.

He hummed in approval as your finger lazily traced his jaw, he grinned dorkily, he watched your eyes fluttering open and shut as you struggled to stay awake. Peter wrapped both arms around you tightly, pulling you up ever so slightly to let your face rest against the crook of his neck.

“I love you, Y/n.” He whispered when he felt your fingers toying with his hair gently.

You hummed, pecking the skin of his neck, “I love you, Peter. Or should I say Pietro?” He couldn’t stop his chuckle when he felt your lips form into a smirk as you continued to peck lightly at his neck.

Peter shook his head, his hands moving up and down your back, slowly and softly as he told you, “Nah, I just wanna be Peter with you. You’re the only person in this wacko town who knows who I am.”

“We’ll get out… and then we can go back to being whoever we were before we ended up here.” You spoke sleepily, but honestly, he knew you believed what you were saying.

He wanted to ask why you’d put yourself in this situation but he knew why. And he knew he’d follow you into anything like this too.

Maybe he shouldn’t have been proud of the love the pair of you shared, considering it had landed you in a borderline tyrannical suburbia. But even a barrier that wiped memories, a witch who could bend time, space and the very reality around her couldn’t keep the two of you apart.

Neither of you knew what would happen in the future but that didn’t matter so long as you had each other. As your breath evened out against his neck Peter promised himself that he’d find a way to get you both out, get everyone out.

[trblhyuns]

imagine us. (pt.1 and we were eating)

pairing// hyunjin-reader main  &&lil chan-reader for a little

tws// use of drugs and alcohol, suggestive scenes, hyunjin can be a dick sometimes and it hurts

— lighthearted

prologue / masterlist / pt.2

pt.1 wc: 1989

his cologne caught my nose. it smells just like the one i had got for my little brother this past christmas. when my brother wore it it smelt nice, and i liked the undernotes but on him, it just smelt weird. but now i could smell the same undertone and it was pleasingly sweet, but mostly smelled like dude. not like locker room dude but like shaves his face with a straight razor, changes his own oil, shops at nordstrom rack dude. my brother said he wanted it because he saw it in some pickup artist video saying that it was the best scent to get girls. i wonder if he got it because of that video too. not saying that if i smelled it on my brother that i would find him attractive too. ew. i know that scents change depending on the person who is wearing them. but the smell, or more likely the aura radiating off this guy is making my head turn.

i can only catch a glimpse of the head of hair on this guy. blonde and long. like the barbies i used to play with my elementary school when i would spend the night. i want to see more of him. his smell is luring me in. i feel like a dog looking for a treat that it hid months ago.

"why do you keep looking at the booth behind you" jisung looks into me, using scissors to cut the sizzling pork belly into small pieces. i fold into myself watching the pieces fall onto the round charcoal grill between us. "you're so weird." he shakes his head before going back to grilling the meat.

"okay try to see past all the smell of the expensive meat, which i am paying for, may remind you before you call me weird. but you smell that?" he looks at me while squinting his eyes, slowly he puts down the tongs and scissors. his fingers stroke his chin and within a few moments his features scrunch up.

"yeah i smell that. oh my god."

"really? i thought i was crazy." relief falls over me. i'm not the only one who can smell it.

"yeah it smells so fucking bad, it's like there is a y/n here stinking the whole restaurant up. yeah, i don't think i can eat anymore" he drops his hands on the table. my eyes droop. i look up at him from hooded lids, trying to put on the most deadpan face i can.

"yeah, i think you're paying now buddy."

"but y/n~~~ i was like um just playing, but for real it smells like dude. you know when you come to the studio with me and the middle schoolers leave because the youth classes end. yeah, yeah. like when the youth classes end. onions and axe." i chuckle at his response before grabbing a piece of the now grilled pork belly off the grill and putting it on my plate. i can not express how excited i am to eat this pork belly. it distracts me enough from what we were talking about before, and as i am ready to bring the food up to my mouth i am soon more distracted by the sound of the tall man scooting out from the booth behind me, napkin clad in hand making his way over to the buffet, probably to get more sides.

"jisung do you need more sides?"

"no, i need more front."

"what?" i looked at him puzzled trying to figure out what he means.

"i need to see the front of that guy who smells like onions and axe, was that what you were trying to look at in the booth behind you. because i'm going to let you know right now, just by looking at the back of onion and axe guy you have no chance."

i stare at him again.

"bitch what the fuck." jisung puts his hand up to his forehead, which i just flicked. "again, i was just joking gotdamn. if you want to talk to him this is your chance i guess. i want more radish now be nice and go get me some since you just flicked me." i roll my eyes still staring while my eyes close into a tight glare shooting at him. i look over at the buffet, and he is nowhere to be seen. usually, by now i would have kicked jisung under the table for being so mean, but he was right. this was a good time to go see what this guy was all about. and, i want to smell him. as appetizing as this porkbelly smells, and how much i was craving to eat it, he smells more delicious. but jisung's words play in my head again onions and axe. it makes me chuckle.

i get up and make my way towards the buffet. it's the dinner rush, and since this was the only good bbq spot in the town at the moment, i have to dodge busy servers, and the sound of conversations, and maybe even a fighting couple pass by me as i make my way over.

trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, i try to look around me taking in the surroundings of the restaurant, but trying to spot the full head of blonde hair. i put the plastic gloves over my hands, grabbing a plate from under the food, and then mindlessly— and may i add very slowly— put things onto the plate. i see him a bit of the way over just staring at the meat fridge. the blonde hair pulls me in and i'm about to make my move before i feel a sting on my face. quickly i wipe my hand over my face trying to scratch before i realize i now have the residue of whatever was on my gloves, but what's even worse i don't have my mask on. the blood rushes to my face as i quickly make my way back to the booth where jisung is waiting for me.

"dude you didn't even get any radish." he looks at me, looking like he is trying to hold back his laughter as he throws a napkin at my face.

"do you think he saw me, oh my god, what if he did, he probably thinks i'm some freak anti-masker trying to spread my germs to everyone."

"i mean i would." jisung retorts at me.

"you're such a dick" i throw my crumpled-up napkin back at him.

"yeah but who begged me to come out to eat with her, and who made me cancel my studio time just because little y/n can't grill food by herself, and can't stand the thought of eating out alone." his pout becomes deeper with each word he says, and his voice becomes squeaker at the same rate.

"yeah but who gets to eat for free?" i imitate him. this makes him purse his lips, a playful look on his face as he goes back to eating the sides i brought back from the buffet. he looks around before eyeing the direction of the buffet.

"yoooo YOOOOOOOO y/n y/n y/n. i know that guy." he has a surprised look on his face, but not hiding the fact that he is a little excited. like a little lab dog. i open my eyes wide, ready to hear how i can get closer to him. "i've seen him at the studio before. you know that guy chan i have been trying to get you to bang so i can live vicariously through you, yeah i think he is friends with him."

"first of all, i don't know why you keep trying to live vicariously through me. especially since the situation is me having sex with chan. because you are like. straight. but maybe i should hit up chan now haha." i play with the straw that's sitting in my water cup while jisung pulls out his phone, scrolling through. he looked so focused, a look i only see when he is trying to mix a new track, or while he stares at himself in the mirror while dancing. i wait there for a while, distributing the rest of the cooked meat between us. before i can start to eat jisung shoves his phone in my face.

"okay i got his snapchat and apparently he is here with this girl as you can see by the story i am showing you right now." that was quick, but expected from jisung.

i take his phone out of his hands, holding it closer to my face so i can read the caption better. remembering that they are in the booth behind us, i remember to lower my voice before i speak.

"okay first of all who comes to a bbq place and orders off the kitchen menu. and do you think they are dating, like is the emoji meant to be about her or the food, and do you think she is eating the food he is grilling, or do you think she is the type to eat salads on dates to seem more feminine." i start to ramble, obviously jealous over a girl i don't know over a guy i don't know. things have been dry for me lately. school has taken over my life. occasionally i will go out to the club, or the rare party, but being friends with jisung who doesn't get out as much as he used to, i just have never have an excuse to go out and meet more people. this is the action and drama i need in my life right now.

"okay, first of all, y/n you said a lot, and it is a lot to unpack. and i don't know if you know her and have some grudge or sum, but i think you are just reading too much into it." and he's right. i have only seen this guy's face like once, and maybe got a good whiff of him, but i feel like i'm going crazy for no reason. oh my god, i am so deprived of any interaction with anyone.

"let's just forget about it and get the bill. he has a girl so my window has closed." jisung nods in approval and goes to finishing his food. we continue to make small talk and joke around. the server comes to the table black book in hand. i put my card in and wait for him to come back with the reciept.

"wait y/n your tipping too right."

"oh my god jisung, just how broke are you?"

"i'm not broke i'm just trying to save up for these nice ass headphones and i just wanted to ask you to break our little you pay and i tip streak so i can keep a little extra cash so i can hear porn in HD audio."

"okay, okay, just stop talking, gosh. what is up with you today." the server comes back and i scribble in the tip and total before looking at jisung signaling to him to get up.

"nothin.'' he smiles at me as he scoots out from the booth grabbing his bag. "so now that you know that pretty guy isn't available will you FINALLY hit up chan. he has been asking about you." we are walking out of the restaurant now. standing out on the side walk beside the main road. there is traffic tonight downtown, like always. the older people are making their way out of the restaurants, and closing their tabs at bars. the bouncers are going to come out soon, ready to take only the obviously fake ids, and i can imagine a few hours from now the barely dressed girls on the backs of guys they met dancing stumbling down the concrete, or the older college kids playing pool instead of getting wasted.

"i guess now i will."

[spookyboywhump]

There might be some more follow ups for Doll but for now, a reunion (with some bonus plot stuff uwu)

Also I should’ve clarified this before but this whole lil Doll arc takes place some time in the future from when they’ve gotten out

CW: Past pet whump, dehumanization, mute whumpee

***

Unfortunately, the man wasn’t particularly helpful in providing information about his life before Nicholas. If anything, he seemed to panic when asked, which meant they were struggling to find his real identity and by extension, anyone who could possibly help him. He didn’t match any missing persons reports within the last several years, he couldn’t remember his name, it almost seemed as though whatever life he’d had before simply ceased to exist. The thought of it made Eli shudder.

Due to the difficulty he was having, he was quite surprised when Lane stopped by the room, opening the door to speak to him.

“Hey, somebody’s here for him.” They said, gesturing to the man.

“What? Did you figure out who he is?” He asked, confused that they could’ve managed to do that before even he knew anything. At the very least, he would’ve liked to have known before now.

“Sort of. Turns out his old employer has some sort of partnership with us, someone here must’ve let them know or something, they didn’t really tell me all the details.” They shrugged “From the way it sounds though, our little friend there was involved in some shady shit himself”. Eli wasn’t sure how he should feel about this, he looked to the man who seemed nervous, keeping his head down now that Lane was here. He figured if something was wrong, if this person shouldn’t be here, then he could stop things before they got bad.

“Alright, send them in…” He said hesitantly, and Lane nodded, stepping away. It only took a few moments for this person to appear in the doorway, a tall dark haired man with a worried look in his brown eyes, which widened the second he laid eyes on the man sitting across from Elias.

“Lexi…?” He said softly, and of all the reactions Eli expected from him, none of them matched the one he saw.

The man, “Lexi”, was staring at him with wide eyes but he didn’t look excited or relieved, he looked terrified, and after only a moment of recognizing this person he abruptly jumped up, trying to back away only to trip over his own feet, falling to the floor and causing Eli to jump up to help him, however the other man seemed to already be trying to do the same. Every step closer he took though, Lexi would back away, until his back hit the wall, he curled up while still staring at the man.

“Lexi, please, you, you know me-“ He said, but the man kept shaking his head, repeatedly mouthing the word “no”, and as he stepped closer Lexi suddenly threw his hands up to cover himself, as if expecting to be hit, and that’s when Eli finally got between them, forcing the taller man back.

“Leave him alone, can’t you see he’s terrified?!” He snapped, and the man backed off immediately, something Elias hadn’t quite expected.

“I’m sorry- I just- I haven’t seen him in years, what’s wrong with him?” He asked, and Eli looked back at Lexi who was still curled up, still mouthing the word “no” and looking at Eli desperately.

“I need you to back away from him, please.” He said, calmer this time. The man obliged, still looking worriedly at Lexi as Eli finally moved away from between them, glancing down at Lexi. “Do you need to say something to him or to me?” He asked, picking up the notepad and pen, to which Lexi frantically nodded, reaching his hands out and grabbing for them, Eli quickly handing them over to him. While he frantically scribbled on the paper, Eli looked to the man. “Can you tell me your name? And his name for that matter- how do you know him?” He asked.

“My- My name is Leon Morales, and that-“ He pointed to Lexi, “Is Alexei Antonov. He’s my boyfriend, we were together for three years before he went missing when he was twenty-five.” As he spoke, he fumbled with his wallet, pulling out an old ID card that very clearly showed the man on the floor, along with all his important information. He handed it to Eli, and he decided to hold on to it to show Alexei once he’d calmed down. He looked over at him now and he’d stopped writing, holding the notepad and pointing at Leon, staying relatively calm when Eli took it and handed it to the man. Leon’s eyes widened as he looked it over, and Elias waited until he offered it to him to take it and read it over.

Go away go away go away he’s going to kill you if you speak to me you have to leave you have to go before he finds out master doesn’t like you master said he would kill you and I can’t let him kill you please just go before he finds out I’m not yours anymore I’m sorry go away go away go away go away. He’d written it over and over, becoming less legible the longer it went on. It made Eli’s blood run cold just to read it, and he took his time to think about what to do next before looking to Leon.

“You don’t need to leave for good, but can you wait outside the room for a few minutes? I’ll come get you when he’s ready.” He said gently, and after sparing a worried glance at Alexei, Leon nodded, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him, letting Elias focus all his attention on Alexei now. He took it as a good sign when he didn’t flinch away when he got near, still watching him warily though. “Is it alright if I sit down with you?” He asked gently, and Alexei nodded.

He sat down in front of him, still holding the notepad and pen in one hand, but the other still had the ID card, which he held out to him.

“Is this… is this you…? Can you remember…?” He asked him. Alexei took it from him, taking his time looking it over before he slowly nodded. “Do you remember that man? Was he your partner?” He asked gently, and Alexei nodded. He couldn’t help but notice tears shining in his eyes. He reached for the notepad again and Eli gave it to him, staying on the floor with him while he wrote. His hand was still shaking but he went slower this time, less frantic than his previous outburst, and after some time he handed the paper to him.

Leon was my boyfriend. I loved him very much but master didn’t like that. He said if Leon found me or if he got near me or if he ever spoke to me or touched me then he would kill him. I told master I forgot about him. Don’t tell master but I still love Leon I don’t want him to be hurt. Tell him to leave, please, tell him I love him but he has to leave

“I… I don’t think you need to worry about your master.” He said slowly. “I promise, he’s not coming after you, he’s not going to hurt you or Leon. You… if you want to, you can go home with him. I promise you, you’re safe now…” He said. Alexei still didn’t look too sure of this, reaching up and wiping at his eyes. “Do you want to talk to Leon? I can give you two some time alone if you’d like…” He offered, and after a while of thinking it over Alexei nodded. Elias left the notepad and pen with him before getting up, leaving the room to find Leon anxiously pacing the hallway.

“Is- Is he okay?” He asked immediately, a scared look on his face.

“He’s… He wants to talk with you.” He said, avoiding answering the actual question. “You can go in by yourself, I’ll stay out here but you can come get me if you need anything.” He said, opening the door for Leon. He left it cracked this time, without Alexei’s voice he wouldn’t hear a shout or scream if things went wrong so he tried to just barely listen in just in case anything happened.

Things were quiet for the duration of their conversation, Eli could just barely hear Leon as he was speaking quietly and calmly. It sounded like it was going well, it lasted for a while, and finally, Leon came back to get him. He looked better, almost hopeful now.

“He, Uh, he wants to tell you something, he’s writing it down now.” He said, and Eli followed him back into the room. Alexei finished up soon enough, and Eli hoped for the best as he read it over.

If you really mean it that my master will not hurt us then I’d like to go home with Leon. I would like it if I could still contact you somehow just in case.

“Of course, I can leave you a way to get in touch with us without having to make a phone call.” He said, scribbling something down on the same paper. Beneath it, he left a simple message, If he is making you do this you can tell me now and I’ll make him leave. Alexei smiled just slightly when he saw it though, making eye contact with Eli and shaking his head before tearing the page out, folding it up and keeping it close to himself. He handed the notepad back to Eli, and he flipped through it, tearing out just a few pages of important things Alexei had written down before giving it back to him. “You can keep this, you probably need it.” He said, and Alexei nodded. He already looked to be doing better after his talk with Leon, and really all Elias could do was hope this would be good for him.

***

He left work late that day. There was a lot of paperwork to do before Alexei could get out of there, and after that he returned to his desk to find Lane had left part of the report from Elle, stuff about their owner that would be important to include in Alexei’s file. It took him time to read through it all, horrified by what he read about their owner, and then it took even longer for him to write up the necessary reports. He was one of the last people to leave that night, and instead of going home he ended up at Zander’s house. Right now, he felt that he needed him.

Now he laid on his bed, staring up at the glow in the dark stars stuck to his ceiling. Zander was at his desk, Eli hadn’t seen what he was doing on his computer and he didn’t really care all that much, still mulling over the events of the day. After a while of a comfortable, relaxing silence, he spoke up.

“I met someone today.”

“Really? Someone interesting?” He asked.

“Yeah. His name is Alexei. He can’t speak.”

“He’s mute?”

“He was made that way. He showed me the scar.” He said, and finally Zander turned around to face him.

“Somebody cut his vocal cords…?”

“Nicholas did. Or- he had somebody do it.” He said, anxiously fidgeting with his fingers where they rested on his stomach. “He- He used to belong to Nicholas, he was his last pet, he was, he… Nicholas said that I reminded him of him…” Zander didn’t say anything at first, and that was enough for Elias to keep going. “He- He almost looked like me too, our hair is kinda different colors- I mean obviously, since mine is fucking teal but like, his isn’t that far off from my natural color, he has blue eyes and freckles, he’s close to my height, that… that can’t be a coincidence, the way Nicholas acted with me…”

“Eli, I’m sorry…”

“That’s the thing, this isn’t my problem anymore! Alexei is the victim here, I’m just overreacting!”

“You’re not overreacting.” He assured him. “You know that both of you can be victims of Nicholas’.”

“I know, I know but… I feel stupid complaining when Alexei was rendered mute and then thrown away like he was fucking nothing! That fucking bastard got bored and threw him away- and fuck, did you know about their owner?!” He sat up now, looking at Zander.

“Kid, you’re gonna have to be way more specific than that.”

“His name is Robert Arison-“

“That name rings a bell but I heard a lot of names in my time there.”

“He worked with Cain, he dealt with international pet trades- do you realize how fucking big that is!” He didn’t wait for an answer, he knew Zander knew better than anybody. “That’s a whole other fucking issue, god it feels like it’s never fucking ending and we’re running out of room for the rescues- not everyone has friends or family readily available, if it hadn’t been for someone tipping off his old employers I’d still be completely lost with Alexei!” He groaned, anxiously running his hands through his hair. “I know it’s good, I know, I know we’re helping as much as we can but I just… I feel like it’s not enough…”

“You’re doing as much as you can…” Zander said gently. “Not to mention, this is still a fairly new operation for all of you, right? It’s going to take some work to organize everything to run smoothly. I think you’re doing pretty well, especially given how stressful it must be for you in particular.”

“We’re doing well but it’s… I don’t know if it’s enough, especially at the rate we’re getting people out of there… not to mention, we don’t even have the authority to deal with the fuckers holding them hostage and the actual authorities are fucking useless.”

“You can thank Charles Whitaker for that.” Zander muttered.

“Well fuck Charles Whitaker! Fuck him, and fuck Cain Whitaker, and fuck Nicholas and Clement and Robert Arison, fuck all of them!” He cried, snatching up one of Zander’s pillows and burying his face in it, letting out a muffled scream. He felt the mattress dip next to him as Zander sat with him, draping his arm around his shoulders. He leaned into him immediately, finally relaxing at his touch. They were silent for a while, Zander holding him close, before he finally spoke up.

“I… I want to help…” He said slowly.

“You are helping…” He murmured.

“No, I mean I want to help.” He said more seriously this time, and Elias finally lifted his head to look at him. “I… I mean it’s probably way too late, it’s been months but… if that offer from your boss is still open…”

“Zander… you don’t have to do that… I’m just bitching, you don’t…”

“No, I’ve been thinking about it for a while actually.” He sighed. “I was there for seven years. I lived surrounded by those people, I know them and I know what they do- and I know how the dogs think. If I can help then… then I’d like to…”

“You know it’s difficult… it’s exhausting and sometimes scary and I… I don’t want you to do something you’re not ready for.”

“I can’t sit around here forever. Truth be told it’s probably a fucking miracle in terms of jobs I could have right now, and if I have information that could be helpful then I should be there with you. It’s not really fair for me to stay away.” Eli knew he was kind of right, knew he could be more helpful than any of the clueless fucks running around trying to handle this- himself included. His boss hadn’t brought it up since he first told her Zander declined but he figured it couldn’t hurt to bring it up again.

He just sincerely hoped Zander was making the right choice.

***

Tag List: @ihaventwritteninsolong , @galaxywhump , @legallylibra , @to-whump-or-not-to-whump , @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi , @as-a-matter-of-whump , @grovegrocer , @renkocchi , @whumpasaurus101 , @inky-whump , @lonesome--hunter , @ladygwennn , @simplygrimly , @withering-whump , @lave-e, @whatwhumpcomments , @thatsthewhump , @just-another-whumper , @starnight-whump , @unicornscotty

[wienerbarnes]

Left for Dead (1/2)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Cheek to Cheek)

Word Count: 1,803

Warnings: mentions to bombs and mission stuff, mentions to past torture

A/N: a lil two parter! I'm def a shorter writer so I split up reader’s first mission as opposed to posting like a 5k one shot (unless y'all dig that better for the future???) I’m gonna queue the second part to post on Friday idk what time but otherwise we all know id forget... so. enjoy!

MAIN MASTERLIST | CHEEK TO CHEEK MASTERLIST

It was finally time for your first mission. The night before, F.R.I.D.A.Y. prompted you with the fact that there would be a briefing this morning at 8 A.M. You’d figured the superheroes weren’t the type to sleep in.

As much as you’d been enjoying the return of your clothes, you figured it’d be safest to keep the black-on-black outfit for these briefings and anything else you’d be involved in. Attention is not necessarily something you’d want to draw on yourself right now.

You finally find the room you’re supposed to be in and find about eighty other agents. A wave of anxiety rushes through you and you feel your stomach churn. You want to look around and find someone you recognize but Sam is the only one you see; you don’t know anybody. You’re scared to talk to new people, to have small talk, you’re scared of what they’ll say to you, if they’ll remember your face from the news.

You see near the front a blonde head of hair - Sharon. You haven’t spoken to her, but she’d be the safest bet, except there’s no empty seat on either side of her. She’s conversing with a woman with ginger hair to her left and a large body with short brown hair occupies the seat to her right - Bucky!

You notice there’s an empty seat next to him and quickly make your way over before your luck diminishes and someone takes it.

Bucky registers somebody take a seat next to him, which surprises him because most of the agents are still a little scared of him after spending seven weeks training with him. He certainly doesn’t treat them like shit, but he doesn’t baby them, either. He almost doesn’t notice it’s you when he glances up; he forgot you’ve changed your look a bit.

The tattoo on your next is covered with makeup, the angry face too much of an identifying feature. He knows you hate it and were planning on getting it covered anyway. You’ve removed all of your piercings and all of the tiny holes remain empty along your ears. You’ve managed to keep the tiny stud in your nose, though. Your hair is a jet black color now and it shines in the light. How has your hair survived that many dye jobs? Stupid rules for this job; no brightly colored hair or large body modifications, excluding tattoos. Draws too much attention.

He can sense your anxiety next to him; your heart is beating a mile a minute and you’re super tense. He wants to say something, do something to make you feel a bit better, put you at ease, but he can’t think of anything before Sam calls the attention of the room.

“Morning, everyone. NCIS has requested our help with finding a bomb on a Navy ship and figuring out the identity of the woman who told them about said bomb,”

Images flash up behind him projecting pictures of said woman, looking scared with a bloodied bandage on her forehead. She has a fluffy pixie-cut style dark hair and pale skin, or perhaps her skin is pale in comparison to the caked blood matted on her head. Her eyes are a bright green with minimal wrinkles adorning the outer corners. She couldn’t be older than thirty-five.

“A citizen driving by saw her wandering about the street next to a forest and when he approached her she claimed she was buried alive and couldn’t provide any information about herself; not her name, age, where she came from, or who buried her. All she kept repeating was something about a bomb on a Navy ship that was going to kill a lot of people.” Sam continues.

“I’ll be sending some of you out to Rock Creek Park to scope out the scene and some of you to Georgetown University Hospital to talk to Jane Doe. You’re dismissed but await further instruction and be prepared to ship out.” Sam finishes and everyone begins to stand, engaging in small conversations as they exit the room.

You begin to stand and follow suit but a metal hand reaches out in front of you to encourage you to take your seat once more. You throw a confused look over at Bucky, but he’s not looking at you. You glance over to Sharon, who’s staring down at her phone, and to Sam who is flicking through the file in his hands. The four of you, you notice, are the only ones still in their seats, and you quickly make the connection that you’re supposed to wait until the rest of the agents leave after a briefing.

Maybe they’re gonna haze you, newbie. You roll your eyes at that little voice as the door shut and hear it lock audibly.

The three of them glance up and stare at you expectantly. You glance between all three of them before you give up on figuring out what exactly they’re waiting for.

“Are you guys gonna haze me?”

Sharon smirks and Bucky full on chuckles at your question as Sam clarifies, “Do you see anything?”

“Oh! Oh, right, right. Uhm… It kind of doesn't work like - um, I’ll try. I’ll try and concentrate.” You excuse, and close your eyes to force yourself into that mindset.

Most of your visions happen unexpectedly and randomly, otherwise you need to put yourself in a kind of entranced state of concentration in order to, essentially, force a vision. Forcing it is usually what causes you to get the most emotional and frazzled, but nothing you can’t handle.

You feel your face heat up at the shyness your abilities are presenting right now; “Um, can we turn the lights off?” You ask quietly.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” Sam speaks up.

The lights dim and you try to slow your breathing.

She’s covered in leaves and wet from humidity, the stickiness feeling unbearable on her skin. Her skin? Whose skin is that?

“It-It’s a shallow grave, and - and there’s leaves, um -” All you see and feel is pure confusion. You don’t know anything. “Why is it so shallow? They bury people six feet because - because that’s the depth where animals can’t smell dead, rotting flesh - except - except polar bears because they -” Your rambling is cut short at the sound of Bucky’s soft voice and his warm hand engulfing your shaking, clammy one.

“Sweetheart, try and focus on the Navy ship she was talking about, the bomb on the Navy ship.” He tries to get you back on track.

“Right, right, sorry,” You take a deep, shaky breath in and let out with force to calm yourself a bit.

It’s all quick white flashes, so fast and so bright that can’t see the images in between. All you get are feelings of fear and guilt -

“Do you know if she set the bomb?” A deep voice interrupts.

“Sam,” A feminine one scolds.

“What? There’s only one person that seems to know about this bomb and we’re not going to consider her a suspect?”

“She doesn’t even know who she is,”

“But -”

“She didn’t set the bomb!” You exclaim, everything becoming incredibly overwhelming all at once.

“How do you know?” Bucky asks, his calm demeanor influencing your own as you rub your face to somewhat pull yourself together.

“I - I - I just do! I don’t know! I - I keep seeing bomben hersteller, what - what is that?” You ask.

“That’s bomb fabricator in German.” Bucky translates.

“Okay, let’s stop for a second.” Sharon says, “This is a lot of new information, we should wait and see what evidence and samples come back from the crime scene and see what we can get out of her when the agents interview her at the hospital, maybe her condition’s changed and she remembers something, yeah?” You quickly realize that Sharon is the piece of mind between the dynamic of her and Sam while he strategizes the plans. They work extremely well together.

“Okay, okay. Agent, you did very well. Good job.” Sam praises before leaving to exit the conference room, you assume to go give the agents their orders. Sharon sends you a sweet smile before following Sam out.

You look back at Bucky and he’s already looking at you, smile on his face. “You did really good.” He tells you.

“Thanks.” You respond, feeling a lot calmer.

The two of you are sitting awfully close to each other, you notice, bodies turned to face each other in the rolling chairs you sit in. Bucky’s leaning closer towards you than you are him, his forearm pushing on the armrest and you find yourself pulling your eyes away from his and they travel around his face.

Bucky has beautifully long eyelashes and tiny sunspots and freckles that decorate his skin; skin that’s had over a hundred years of wear. He’s kept his hair short but has been growing out his beard, not to an uncomfortable burly length, but enough to leave quite the dark shadow. His tongue pokes out to wet his lips and your eyes flash down there.

You don’t even remember the last time you kissed someone, let alone someone you actually wanted to kiss, not a kiss that was forced upon you. Is he actually about to fucking kiss me right now?

Panic quickly rises through your body and you clear your throat and look away, “Uh, now what?”

“Huh?”

“Well, I can’t go out on missions or anything, so do I, uh, just wait to be summoned, I guess?” Summoned? Why are you so awkward?

“Pretty much, yeah. I’ll, uh, be sticking around, too. Sometimes for ongoing missions I stick around in one of the spare rooms until the case is over.” He softly tells you, unmoving from how close he’s sitting next to you and voice still low and smooth, not looking away from you. Can he tell how nervous and awkwardly attracted to him you feel right now?

“What about Alpine?” You whisper back.

“What?” His eyes are the ones drifting down to your lips, now. Soft looking lips that look like they could kiss him silly and unconscious.

“Alpine?”

“Oh, uh, she stays with my, uh, my neighbor. This little old lady next door to me.” Great, now I’m thinking about my old lady neighbor. You’re biting that lip now and he thinks he might start drooling when you stand suddenly.

“I, uh, just remembered. I have to… clean! I have to clean up, so. I’ll see you.” You push out before finally exiting the room and making your way down the hallway.

You release a frustrated, “Fuck…” as the elevator doors close in front of you.

Meanwhile, Bucky lets out his own groan of frustration in the conference room, hands pushed against his eyes rubbing harshly, “Fuck…”

[neon-junkie]

HIIIIII UR NEW WILLSCUELLA FIC WAS SO CUTE I WISH THERE WAS MORE WILLSCUELLA CONTENT *CRIES* THANK U THOSE BOYS ARE ALL THATS KEEPING ME GOING. ID LOVE IT IF U WROTE ABOUT THEM MORE!!

THANK YOU <3  when I managed to glitch into the rdr2 Mexico map the other week, I went up onto that big cliff north of Diez Corona and just gormed at my TV cause the view up there is so pretty ;-; so here’s a lil RDR1 Willscuella fic based off that sight I saw the other week

"Nue.. new... neuo..." Bill continues to grumble, attempting to pronounce a non-English word. Javier knows by now that Bill's never going to get it, even if he broke the word down and took his time with it, but Bill continues to 'attempt' his pronunciation. "Bill... come on," Javier sighs, slowing his mount down slightly so Bill can catch up to him. They'd been riding inline whilst passing north of Diez Corona, traveling down the somewhat busy roads as they headed further south, trying to get as far from New Austin (and John) as they can. Javier had paddled across the river, sneaking into the state to pick Bill up and save his ass, and the two had only just returned. Bill was adamant about paddling the canoe on the way back, saying it's the least he could do since Javier had agreed to bail him out, so Javier relaxed and enjoyed the sight of Bill struggling to paddle them to the other side. Bill's still got his eyes forward, his brain ticking away as he continues trying to figure out how to pronounce the name of the state they're in. Javier had told him off for just calling it Mexico, and said that if he was going to stay here a while, then the least he could do was learn a little bit of the language. "Let's try it again, huh? Say it with me, Bill. Nue-vo Par-ai-so," Javier says slowly. "New... Neuo... Shit!" Bill grumbles again, exhaling heavily. Javier sighs, rolling his eyes dramatically as he steers off the road, finding his own trail amongst the dirt. "Aye, I give up with you, Bill," Javier tuts, peering over at Bill. He knows that Bill's probably never going to get it; he's known Bill for well over a decade, a very long decade, and even after things had gone south and they'd split off, Javier still ended up helping the larger man out when he needed it. "I don't blame you. I would, if I were you," Bill agrees, staring at the dirt rather than where they were heading, letting his mount lead the way. 

"We'll hitch the horses here. I want some lunch," Javier says as he comes to a halt, hitching his horse on what's left of a tree and taking some food from his saddlebags. Bill does the same, almost standing on another cactus in the process. That's not the first time he's gotten close to hurting himself, though he's managed a few times since they'd arrived. Bill pulls some food from his own saddlebags then peers his head around, realizing that Javier has wandered from his sight. He notices Javiers pointy sombrero and follows it, realizing that Javier had continued forward a few paces, heading down onto a small ledge. Bill takes a seat next to Javier, using the small ledge as shade as they lean back against it. He finally lifts his head up to notice where they were and the sight below them. They'd been traveling along a cliff, overlooking the vast Mexican landscape. There's an array of buttes below, surrounded by the dry desert and an odd sprinkle of plants. The heat can be seen radiating from the earth, small waves rising from the sand, making Bill rub his eyes just to ensure he's seeing things correctly. Javier notices the way Bill's looking at the landscape. He thought Bill had seen it all before with the dryness of New Austin, but Bill had never seen a butte before, nor how the earth was a vibrant gold shade rather than the dirty sand shade of New Austin. "You like what you see?" Javier asks, his mouth half-full with his food. His manners had gone out the window a long time ago, though Bill never bothered much with his. "Yeah, s'pretty," Bill tells him, finally dipping his head down to open the packaging to his food. "It's different to what I'm used to, I ain't seen stuff like that before," Bill comments as he points to the buttes, the large rock formations dotted about the landscape. "Yeah, Mexico's a beautiful country. I've told you that many times before, but now you get to see it for yourself," Javier says with a soft laugh, his mind flashing back to all those years ago where Javier would tell stories about his homeland around the campfire, enjoying the way his former gang members faces lit up as he described the landscape. "Finally," Bill nods, his gaze fixated on his food, but Javier snaps his head across to give Bill a confused look. "Finally?" Javier repeats. "Well, yeah. You has always said how pretty it is, 'n' now I get to see it for myself," Bill says with a shrug. "I never thought you cared for those stories? You never really said anything when I told them." "I didn't really know what to say, plus the others would always jump in with their questions 'n' stuff," Bill shrugs again. Javier pauses for a moment, going over all those events in his head. Bill seems unphased, focused on eating, whilst Javiers mouth remains empty as he thinks about his flashback. Javier eventually decides to remain silent, unsure of what to say, unsure if he should ask the many things that have been on his mind since they went their separate ways. Javier finally picks up once he's finished his meal, leaning back against the rock, his eyes gazing out at his mother country. "Bill?" he asks. "Mhm?" Bill replies, finishing off his food. "Did you ever think you'd end up here? As in, did you ever think you'd visit Mexico?" Javier questions. "Not really..." Bill answers. He opens his mouth again but quickly shuts it, his facial expression becoming focused as he runs through a few other answers in his head. "I thought... well, maybe..." Bill trails off, unsure of the right words. "You mean, you thought you would, but not like this?" Javier asks. "Yeah, not on these terms. Not on Marstons terms," Bill agrees, his brows furrowing slightly at the thought of John. "Yeah, I understand..." Javier sighs. He pauses for a moment, coming to terms with what he knows is going to happen. "You know, John isn't going to stop until he's got us." "Not unless we get him first," Bill says with a confident laugh. "You might be able to do that, but I can't..." Bill looks over at Javier, questioning why he won't stand up for himself. "Why?" he asks. "He's family, you know," Javier shrugs. "He ain't much family if he's tryna kill you." "I guess you're right." Javier and Bill remain in silence, enjoying the shade whilst it lasts, gazing out at the landscape and watching the clouds pass by. They both want to talk about the elephant in the room, about the way they split up all those years ago. Bill's eager to question why Javier even decided to help him in the first place, and Javier wants to ask why Bill contacted him, though he already knows it's because Bill has nobody left. Though Javier doesn't know that Bill's attempted to contact him before, he's written letter after letter but ended up scrunching up the paper and tossing it into the fire, never able to find the right things to say. "You wanna get going?" Javier finally speaks up, breaking the silence. "Sure," Bill nods in agreement. Javier's about to get up but Bill speaks again. "Can we... like... we know we is gonna die here. So, could we just.. you know..." Bill asks with a shrug. He keeps his gaze away from Javiers, not wanting Javier to see his flustered and unconfident face, nor wanting to see how Javier will react. Maybe Javier will push him off this cliff for asking such a thing, but Javier surprises him instead. "I know what you're asking," Javier tells him, his eyes wide. He doesn't bother hiding the smile on his face, nor the soft laugh he lets out. "Yeah, we can, Bill," Javier agrees. They both know their ends are near, but if they can enjoy their final moments together, then at least they'll die happy. They look at each other, a pair of old, tired men, gazing into each other's eyes like a bunch of lovestruck children. Javier removes him sombrero, setting it on his lap as he shuffles a little closer to Bill. He knows by now that Bill never removes his hat, he's always been so self-conscious of his balding. A pair of slightly chapped lips meet Javiers, and the two almost freeze up in the moment. It's been so many years since they'd last seen each other, even more since they'd kissed. Though they fall into sync, remembering just how they both like it; the right angles, the specific tilt so their noses don't bump, the soft biting to Bill's bottom lip that always drives him crazy. Bill reaches up to run his fingers into Javier's hair, short jagged locks that he's definitely cut himself. He remembers the way Javier would swat his hand away whenever he used to try that, not wanting to mess up his ponytail. The two stay connected for some time, attempting to catch up on some of the years they've missed, though they've got a long way to go to make up for it. Javier eventually breaks the kiss, knowing Bill could sit here for hours with his lips locked with the younger man. "Come on, old man," Javier says with a laugh. "Old man? You can't talk," Bill replies, his voice grumbly as always. "I haven't got any grey hairs yet, unlike you," Javier teases, stroking his thumb over the grey patch to Bill's moustache. Bill lets out a frustrated whimper but lets Javier have the last laugh, knowing he's in the right. Javier puts his sombrero back on and stands up, leading the way as they head back to the horses. The pair mount up, Javier leading the way as they continue on their travels. Their eyes catch each others every so often; Javier always smirks, making Bill's cheeks flush red, just like how they used to flirt across camp all those years ago. Javier can't help but smile every time he overhears Bill still trying to pronounce Nuevo Paraiso under his breath. He'll get it eventually.

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 15

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY LOSES THEIR SHIT ON MAIN:

“Tell her I said: fuck you, you miserable, conniving bitch. I don’t answer her summons. I don’t obey her orders. I’m through. I’m through with her, with all of you—”

THERE’S LORE, BUT IMPORTANTLY MURPHY REMEMBERS WHY THEY THINK CINDER’S HOT. LITERALLY.

already??? already??? yes, already. this chapter is called ‘nothing personal’ anmd i think that this is a lie. this is abt to get very personal very quickly.

It had taken two more days for Glynda’s soul to become bearable enough for Cinder to sit next to her on a bus.

out of the funniest lines they could have used to open the chapter up, this is just Peak. there’s so many moving parts to this. glynda’s rank soul. cinder having to be nice for TWO DAYS to make her chill out. the fact they’re taking the most menial form of transport of all time. oh my god they were sat beside each other. this is already so funny.

Gravity Dust glittered like volcanic glass.

👈😎👈 we sure love volcanoes around here huh

The clearing Cinder found was some twenty minutes from where she left Glynda with instructions for something salty for her.

im almost POSITIVE im not supposed to find these lines funny but cinder you are RADIATING salt you are COMPOSED ENTIRELY of salt please. you’ve asked for smthng salty and glynda’s gonna come back announcing she’s foiled all yr plans on accident again.

Mercury had stopped sending messages a month and a half ago. Emerald’s last one was a week old.

im almost definitely mentioned it in a prior liveblog but its worth remembering: cinder’s relationship w/ merc and em rly was the deciding factor in me suddenly loving her as a character and i just. every interaction they have hurts so good. cinders got TWO kids and even if her face says otherwise she loves them very much and that heals me on the inside

“There’s no way anyone knows about this island. We’re the only ones out here. Merc and I have to get his shitty frozen pizzas airshipped in.”

“Still. Be careful.” She paused for a moment. “...Is that all he’s eating?”

“You know he’d die before he ate a vegetable.”

“He will, at this rate.”

I LOVE U MOMMA CINDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is SO good. this section HEALS ME!!!!!!!! which is good because i have a feeling the rest of this will gore me alive

"I promise. At the end of all of this, I'm coming back and I'm not leaving again. Trust me."

aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA god u cant tell thru text alone but this section is K I L L I N G me and H E A L I N G me and also KIL L I

“It doesn’t have anything to do with trust,” Cinder said, miserably. “I need you to be safe.”

N G M E

The line between us and them had felt so concrete.

god i just. theres so much i still cant say that isnt 👈👈👈😨👈👈👈 but cinder and hati and all this other STUFF happening in the bg is so good and i just love how nuanced this dumbass is. cinder fall, the woman who never wins, and her brief moments of comfort. she is my ANGEEEEEEEEEEL

Now the only thing left was to deliver her to Atlas; if she had to speak with her more to do that, she would.

Not that she wanted to have to admit that to Hati.

cinder:there’s a lot of we and our going on and i’m a little nervous that the more we talk the more thats gonna happen and i gotta say; not a fan.

and [Glynda]’s desperate for—”

A heritage? A purpose? Belonging?

“She’s desperate,” Cinder finished, softly. Then: “She’s coming willingly.”

this might be another 👈😎👈 situation or im just drawing parallels like a three year old with a newfound ruler but HRM. CINDER. HRM.

Rather, her stomach twisted at the implications. Everything was ready. The machine worked. All that was left was to deliver the final piece.

“Okay. Good.” It was good. It was the culmination of years of work.

whats good and fun is watching cinder wrestle w/ her own humanity and its rly good because even as she tries her very best to use ppl to her own ends that pesky lil soft bitch inside makes her second guess everything and its GREAT fun. u can rly see that as soon as she spends longer than an allotted 10 minutes w/ somebody she starts being like ‘hrm. oh no’. oh cinder. u soft bitch. ilu.

The spot beneath his wing, though… Cinder folded into it as though it were meant for her, as though they were meant for each other, bodies fitted so easily. Here, safe, she closed her eyes and dreamed bleakly of the days to come.

i swear to god i cannot wait until [redacted] and [redacted] and [REDACTED] happens cause then i can lose my shit abt this ALL OVER AGAIN but for now. for now. immerse myself in cinder cuddles. im holding back but on the inside im feral

but Cinder was all calm, sliding through the trees like she belonged here. Like it was her domain by birthright.

FERAL.... FERAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because they were not friends, Glynda asked, “Where are we going?”

i love that glynda has to preface it like a reminder. because they were not friends. because she cannot trust winter. because she blocked oz’s number lmao. it’s great seeing how much more... clinical, i guess, glynda’s thoughts are, and it’s a great way to show the narratives differences? its GOOD is what im trying 2 say on main,

Instead, she complained, “It’s so difficult to be so wanted.”

firstly: i love cinder “i have a complaint” fall is secondly: i am going to read into this. i am going to read into this and divine a second meaning. i am reading into it.

Cinder emerged from the dark like a leviathan sloughing off a sunless sea. It rippled around her shoulders, swallowed the back of her skull, but the only sharpness to her was her smile. It was the first time Cinder had smiled since returning from her meeting with the Manticore.

oho. ohoohohohoooohohohooOUGHHOHOHO she hot. nasty mean lady big hott.

“You don’t scare me,” Glynda insisted.

“Silly you,” said Cinder. “Come on. I’ll lead.”

hohogughgohohoghgh f flirtign.......................,,,,,,,,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

a faint light was stirring to life before her—suffusing out along Cinder’s chest and throat, spilling from her heart and out through her skin. In the beginning, it was so faint it seemed to be an illusion; but no, soon enough it was undeniable, and Glynda could even make out the rough shapes of the wall and floor.

YEEEEEEEEES i love. glowy lantern cinder. like theres a lot of fun little canons abt cinder in this fic i adore but the fact that she glows is like fuckin TOP. look at her. lil candle baby. shes like a microwave bean toy. i adore her.

She walked like a queen through her domain, seemingly irrespective of where on Remnant they were; even here, underground, in forgotten left-behind places, Cinder reigned.

god im sorry im too busy being gay to even be paying attention to anything rn i LOVE cinder to DEATH,,,,,,,,,, she knows shes the thing 2 be feared around here and its so good. i cant wait for her to open her big mouth and fuck it up again!!!

“High Leader Khan requires your presence in Mistral, Ms. Fall. She advises that you attend promptly, in order to discuss the missing members of our organization.”

A hum. Cinder said, “I don’t want to.”

GHSDFGSDFGHKJDF cinder you are. smthng else. shes just so LIKE THAT. what a great chapter for cinder this has been im SIPPIN baby

okay im doing a lot of leaping haead here and its not for lack of having anything 2 say in fact its QUITE the opposite because this whole bit is. wow. we got lore??? lore??? abt so many things??? what does any of it mean????? I AM NOT SURE BUT IM LOVIN IT (tm)

“It’s not a Semblance, idiot.” The control in Cinder’s voice was all staccato, pitching cold to inferno in an instant. “It was a gift.

okay bear with me for this JUICY LORE but i am Deeply fascinated by this section. im not gonna. say anything because idk how this is tying up yet (bear with) but HOO. HOOOOOOO. im trying to like keep grabbing sections but this whole part is SO GOOD i am loving-- like-- id have to-- TRUST ME THE OG WASNT AS SPICY AS THIS OKAY

THIS IS SO MUCH SPICER AND ITS GOOD

Cinder glowed like the magma heart of a volcano.

ITS SPICY ITS GOOD ITS 👈😍👈

im gonna have to reread this bit to get the full effect because the downside of a liveblog like this is having to stop-start but OUGHGHGHGUGHUGH THE LORE,,, THE MASKS,,, THE FANG??? also sienna dont listen 2 her baby i love u too

Cinder looked like a line to be crossed, and even though they weren’t friends—rather the opposite—Glynda found she didn’t want to cross her. Not now, when the emotion was still raw on her face.

oughgh... the vulnerability. cinder... snoft... but also angery 😔

this was SUCH a good chapter im DYING i love cinder in offal hunt to BITS and this arc is already feeding me so much good shit. fuck yea. FUCK YEA. HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--

[lumosinlove]

Solntse

part ii

Remus sits in Lily and James’ tiny living room and tries to ignore the subtly laid out pillow and blankets set on the corner of the couch. Lily doesn’t let him.

“Your apartment has flees.”

Remus sets his glass down, “That was one bug and it was a beetle.”

Lily twists her hair over one shoulder, unrelenting, “Remus. Please.” She nods towards the pillow, “Just—I’m worried. We’re worried.”

Remus looks away so he doesn’t have to see the way James nods, they way they’re both looking at him like he’s already a lost cause. He wishes for a moment he’d never told them what he does other than serve pizza and take the early shifts at the gas station around the block, but then he’d be all alone in it. And they were his best friends, that was why he had told them. Just in case one day all of James’ fears came true and some guy murdered Remus in a hotel room. Or something.

James sighs, “Mate, we’re not ganging up on you.”

“No, I know.” Remus nods down at his mug of tea, “I know. I just…I don’t want to be that friend you can’t get rid of. Like. That would be awful.”

“Re, you’re never going to become that.” Lily puts a warm hand on his shoulder, squeezing, “That’s not how we think about it at all. We just want to know your safe.”

James raises his mug to his mouth, “As safe as you can be…”

“James.” Lily snips, then her face turns soft again for Remus, “Will you stay here?”

“Lils, really, my apartment is fine.” He curls his feet further beneath him, “I’ll finish my tea and go. Don’t worry.”

He thinks back to his two night hotel escapade and shakes his head more firmly at Lily. He already feels enough like a charity case as it is. Even if he did get good money for it. Sirius had pushed an extra eighty dollars into his hand at the door and closed it before Remus could protest. He had pressed a chapped kiss to his cheek too. Remus was still mulling that over.

When he finally does make it out of the apartment he pulls his ratty coat tightly over his shoulders and ducks his head against the wind. He could probably buy a new one if Sirius called again. He did ask for two nights in a row, and it went great so, maybe. But he didn’t want to be flashy about any new money. His landlord had already raised his eyebrows when Remus had handed over two months rent in advanced.

His apartment wasn’t flea infested although it did give off that sort of look. He had a cheep futon bed frame, just to keep his mattress off the floor so it didn’t mold, and a dresser from IKEA. His kitchen consisted of a stove and a sink. The gas was usually pretty iffy and his sink ran mostly cold, like his shower, but…he had a roof and food. It’s fine. He has James and Lily if he was really, really in trouble but he doesn’t want it to come to that. He’ll never want it to come to that.

He throws his keys down on the dresser and goes to check the leak under the sink. It hasn’t gotten worse but he empties out what water is in the bucket just while he’s there. He re-tapes the crack in the window and makes a note to ask his landlord about that. Again. He’s just sitting down on his bed when his phone rings. He groans and closes his eyes when he pulls it out, hoping it isn’t one of his less polite customers. He sighs in relief when he sees the name.

“Frank, hi.” Frank almost never wants sex. He likes to talk. He’s lonely. Remus can relate. He’s the son of two wealth-soaked parents who don’t pay him a lick of attention. Remus can half relate. “How are you, mate?”

“Oh. Hi, Remus. Wasn’t sure I’d get you, um. I’m fine. I—um. Was wondering…” He trails off.

“Sure, when were you thinking? I’ve got something Tuesday and Sunday and you know when I work, so…”

“Actually, I was thinking now?” His voice is up an entire octave with nerves, “I just…Family problems right now. Was hoping to just talk a bit.”

Remus runs a hand over his face but tries not to pause too long. He doesn’t want Frank to think he doesn’t want to, “Sounds great! Should I meet you at the—“

“I couldn’t get the usual room. It’s 207 tonight. Same hotel though, the Pierre.”

Remus nods, tries to keep a smile in his voice, “Great. See you soon.”

He’s barely hung up when another name flashes up at him. He’s almost embarrassed by how fast he answers, “Sirius. Hi.” That didn’t come out anywhere close to how he wanted it to.

“Remus! Life is good?”

Remus laughs lightly, still caught off guard but warmed by Sirius’ simple honesty, “Uh, yeah, life is good. How are you?”

“Good. Busy. Always busy, you know? I’m at airport now, going to be in town on Wednesday. You want see together? Or, ah, not together.”

“Each other.” Remus supplies.

“Yes, perfect. You always know. What you think, Remus?”

Remus half wishes Sirius would stop saying his name like that and half wishes he’ll never stop saying his name like that, “Yeah, that works for me. What time were you thinking?”

“Seven? I get us dinner in room, so don’t eat. I’m, ah…” Sirius lets out a soft laugh and Remus presses the speaker closer to his ear, “I’m think about you a lot.”

Remus swallows over a suddenly dry throat, “Yeah?”

“Hm.” There’s a loud speaker in the background and Sirius says something low in Russian, “Flight calling me. Wednesday okay, yes?”

“Yes. Have a good flight.”

“You too. Or—“ They both laugh, “Okay, I’m go now. Bye, Remus.”

The line goes dead and Remus lets the phone fall to the bed. He breathes in deeply and looks down. He’s half hard in his pants now and he really doesn’t know why. He’s suppose to be on his way to Frank’s, he tips well, he honestly needs Remus a little bit and…fuck. He splashes some freezing water on his face from the sink and yanks his door shut as he leaves.

Frank’s is fine. The hotel room is nice and Remus ends up sucking him off—twice. He doesn’t get hard either time but Frank seems either completely fine with that or he doesn’t notice. What does get him going is the ping he gets on his phone while he’s walking home from the tube. It’s a picture. Of Sirius. A selfie. He’s grinning in front of a beautiful sunset outside a plane window. There’s no message except a few sideways parentheses that Remus takes as smiles. Looking at the grin triggers thinking about Sirius’ large, warm hands on his hips and back. That leads to thinking about the way Sirius had carefully pushed his fingers inside of Remus, then the hot slide of his cock to replace them, his weight covering Remus’ back—

By the time Remus is walking up the stairs to his apartment again he’s more or less waddling around his tented trousers. By the time he’s throwing his keys on his dresser all he can do is lean back against his door and shove his hand into his boxers. They’re already damp with pre-come so what’s the point anyway? He smears his thumb over his head and squeezes the base, letting out a breath. It’s not as good as Sirius and his fucking huge palms. Now that he’s got a hand wrapped around himself he can really feel the difference. He pushes his pants down around his knees so he can get two hands around himself instead, twisting around the head and keeping a tight grip around the shaft. It barely takes a dozen pulls before he’s shooting into his fist with a harsh sound, Sirius’ name almost on his lips. Almost. He makes the mistake of thinking about the way Sirius had trailed his fingertips over his sensitive cock after he’d made Remus come in his mouth, keeping the pleasurable nerves alight, and takes a cold shower so he doesn’t have to go again. The shower only makes him think about how, next time, maybe Sirius won’t come untouched. Maybe Remus will get to return the favor. He doesn’t even know how much of Sirius he could fit in his mouth but fuck if he doesn’t want to try. He groans and wraps a hand around himself again. He’s too sensitive but he doesn’t care. He works himself fast and hard until his cock is a flushed red and he comes weakly against the shower wall, panting into the cool spray.

He looks at his phone as he towels off his hair. It’s Saturday, and it’s going to be a long couple days.

~

There’s a different woman at the front desk this time and Remus is glad. Not that he thinks the other one would remember him but, still. He stares at the twelve on the door for a moment, trying to calm his heart rate, before he knocks.

The door doesn’t open immediately so he knocks again, feeling more awkward by the second.

This time there’s a muffled shout and a few seconds later the door is yanked open by Sirius—dripping wet and a towel hastily wrapped around his waist.

“Sorry!” He gasps, “Sorry, flight late, felt kind of like plane—plane all over me? Thought I be fast, sorry.”

“Okay.” Remus meant to say it’s okay but, well, Sirius’ towel is slipping sort of low.

“Come in, come in, I’m be ready in minute.”

Ready for what? Remus wants to ask.

He goes to sit on one of the couches and strokes his hands over a soft pillows while Sirius pads back to the shower, dropping his towel without closing the door. For a second, Remus debates on whether he can consider that as an invitation or not. He stands up twice and sits back down before the water shuts off and he sits again. Sirius emerges a second later, grabbing the towel from the floor to wrap around his waist and another for his hair.  He rubs at his hair until the waves fluff around his ears and into his eyes. He smiles over at Remus somewhat guiltily.

“Sorry again. You want look at menu?” Sirius flips open a sleek looking suitcase and starts rifling through it, “Starving. Airplane food most bad, you know?”

Remus doesn’t but he’s not about to start that conversation. Instead he reaches for the leather-bound hotel book, “Where did you come from?”

“Sydney, ah…Hard for me to say.”

“Australia.”

Sirius laughs and pulls a loose fitting pair of sweatpants on—bare, “Yes, right.” A white long sleeve shirt follows and—to Remus’ surprised delight—a black snapback. It sits snugly on his damp hair, pushing the front part back out of his eyes while the rest wings out above his ears. Remus can see the shape of his ring necklace through his shirt. He swallows. Sirius looks good.

He pulls some warm looking socks on and Remus glances briefly at the hole in the heel on his own left foot. The couch bounces a little as Sirius settles next to him, leaning in close to look at the menu, “Good food? What you like?”

Remus tries to read the menu, he really does, but Sirius’ arm is thrown over the back of the couch  and his fingertips are brushing over where he sweater gives way to skin. He holds the menu out to Sirius, “You decide. I’ll eat anything.”

Sirius gives him a teasingly disapproving look but takes the menu and reaches towards the side table for the phone. He orders too much. A steak, fries, a plate of brisket ravioli, a cheese board, a salad, calamari, and two slices of chocolate cake. Remus doesn’t know where they’re going to put it all, but he hopes maybe he can take some of it home.

“We do tea later,” Sirius reaches out and fans one of Remus’ curls between his fingers. “After.” He amends, “They say thirty minutes.” Then his fingers are lightly brushing Remus’ hip, just beneath his sweater, “We stay busy while wait. Is okay?”

“Yeah.” Remus breathes, because what Sirius doesn’t know is that he got off to the mere memories of what they did last time every night leading up to now. Sometimes twice. Of course it’s okay. He’s never had a job this fucking okay, and he’ll damn sure make the most of it until Sirius moves on. They always do. Remus usually feels more grateful when they do, but he has a feeling Sirius will be different.

Sirius flashes him a grin and tugs him right into his lap. His lips are warm and chapped against Remus’, but the rough texture is nice. Remus feels like it keeps him there, in Sirius’ arms. He runs his tongue across Sirius’ bottom lip just to feel it and is rewarded with a soft sound and a palm to the small of his back. Sirius, who seems to be able to take Remus aback in almost everything he does, is holding Remus close, chest to chest. Not by the hips, not by the shoulders. Remus has never had any problems with abuse and he’s lucky in that way but Sirius, Sirius isn’t holding him like he’s there for sex at all. He’s cradling Remus in his lap, hands running lazily up and down his back. He’s licking into his mouth like they have all the time in the world, like they’ve been kissing forever and they’ll do it tomorrow, and tomorrow.

Remus’ palms cup his jaw and he runs his fingers along the edge of the snapback.

“You want off?” Sirius’ voice sounds like he’s just woken up.

Remus shakes his head and his eyes slip closed as Sirius’ mouth moves to his jaw, “No.”

Sirius’ warm breath against his neck as he laughs softly almost feels better than the wet kisses he’s leaving there. Almost.

They stay like that until the knock on the door makes Remus blink his eyes open blearily, suddenly aware of how warm he is.

Sirius shifts him to the side gently, kneeling on the couch for one last peck, “I’m get food, relax here.”

Remus blinks at him, licks his kiss-swollen lips, and honestly just wants to ask Sirius why he is like this. He rests his head back on the couch and listens to Sirius’ bright voice chatting away to the bell boy who brought their food. He’s thanking him, telling him how good it all looks, and Remus thinks maybe he’s just this nice to everyone he meets. He isn’t sure what to do with that.

“Hey,” Sirius head pokes back through the door, cart trailing him, “Food.”

Remus isn’t going to say no to that.

The spread of food looks even bigger when laid out and Remus can’t help but laugh as Sirus sits down next to him again, “Sirius, this is…a lot.”

Sirius shrugs one shoulder, “We don’t finish, you take home.”

Remus isn’t going to say no to that, either. He has a brief moment of wondering whether ordering this much was purposeful on Sirius’ part, but pushes it aside. That’s ridiculous. Sirius doesn’t even know him, much less anything about his financial situation. Well. He might know a little given who they are to each other.

Remus spends most of the meal listening to Sirius try to explain some funny story that happened on his trip, and anticipating the occasional moments of being fed bits of steak and such by Sirius, who barely breaks in talking despite how it takes Remus’ breath for a moment.

“I spend lot of time in hotel, you know?” Sirius’ voice breaks into Remus’ thoughts, mid story. He wished he’d been listening fully to know how to respond.

“I, ah, lonely?”

Sirius shrugs, but shoves a large scoop of pasta in his mouth. Remus takes that as a yes.

“How did you…” Remus searches for the right word before trying, “find me?”

Sirius actually pinks a little at that, “Ah. Friend. You know him. Recommend. Say you very sweet.”

Remus nods and respects the anonymity even if he’s dying to know who, “Sweet, huh?”

Sirius smiles a little, “I’m think so, too.”

They move onto the cake and the hotel had sent up an two extra desserts, seemingly just because Sirius is Sirius.

“I’m stay here lot, they know me.”

“Probably because you order the entire menu anyway.” Remus jokes.

It makes Sirius’ entire face light up, spreading his hands, “Hey, why not? Hungry after long day of flying.” He knocks his ankle against Remus’, “Good food, best company.”

Remus rolls his eyes a little and Sirius snorts. That shouldn’t be attractive, but it is.

“You live here always?” Sirius asks through a bite of cheesecake, “London?”

“Yeah, always.”

“Born here?”

Remus nods, “Yeah. I live a few streets over from my parent’s flat.”

“Must be so nice.” Sirius is smiling, but his eyes are down at his plate and he looks a little mournful. His fingertips not holding his fork are twisting the ring around his neck,  “Be near family always.”

Remus takes a bite instead of answering. It had been nice. For a while.

“Not…Not nice?” Sirius says softly, “Sorry, not want to bring up bad things, Remus—“

“No. No, it’s okay. It’s fine, I just…yeah, I don’t really talk to my parents much these days.”

Sirius places a warm hand on his thigh, thumb rubbing on the inside slowly. But it isn’t sexual. It isn’t even verging on sexual. It’s soothing and warm, and it makes Remus want to keep talking.

“Not since I came out.” He finally manages, “To them. They weren’t…” But it turns out that’s all he can say on the matter.

“Make you feel better…” Sirius wets his lips, “Parents not know. Mine, I’m saying. Scared to tell, not good thing in Russia.” He gives Remus’ thigh a little squeeze, “I understand. Remus, it’s—it’s most brave.”

Remus blinks hard, “Yeah.” He doesn’t know why he’s sitting here having this semi-melt down with Sirius. Sirius definitely isn’t paying for this. He’s probably annoyed with him under all his kind words and so Remus snuffles and digs his palms into his eyes, trying to wipe the tears away and the redness that’s probably there both. There’s nothing really to do to make this not an awkward transition. How do you go from tears to sex? And with a stranger? “I’m sorry.” He begins, “Fuck, this—was not what I had planned.”

“Remus, it’s not apology—no, okay?” He’s suddenly pushing the food table away and tucking his legs beneath himself, sitting on his socked-heels and taking both of Remus’ hands, thumbs rubbing gently against the vulnerable insides of Remus’ wrists, “I’m not mind, really. Really.”

“I’ll take this out of your pay. Honestly, Sirius, this isn’t what you brought me here for, I just want you to know that I know that.” Remus can’t help it though, and despite his words curls his fingers around Sirius’, “Sorry."

“Please stop saying, Remus.” Sirius tone is firm, “Please, you—not an apology.” Even the word ‘apology’ sounds nice in Sirius’ mouth.

“I…make okay? A bit?” Sirius tugs very lightly on Remus’ hands but when Remus shakes his head he—he lets go. Which Remus can’t decide how he feels about that.

“Sorry.” He says again, then at Sirius’ face, he pushes a hand through his hair, “Fuck, sorry—Sor—“

And then Sirius is kissing him. His thumbs are stroking slowly along his cheeks and he’s sucking Remus’ bottom lip slowly into his mouth, brushing his tongue along it with the same amount of leisure. Remus sighs into it, fingers digging into his own thighs for a moment before he’s leaning forward and pressing his palms flat on Sirius’.

“Only if want.” Sirius says against his mouth, “Remus.” He pulls away just enough to look at Remus’ glassy eyes, “You not want a second ago, I’m just want no more sorry. No, ah, not need to do anything, okay?” He curls his fingers back around Remus’ ears, around the curls there, “карамель, can just put movie on. Have more cake.”

Remus sniffles a little, blinking hard at Sirius, “Did—Did you just call me caramel?” He remembers the soft word from last time.

Sirius smiles, a bit, and lifts one shoulder, “It’s good, no? It’s…not sure how to say…small names important in Russia. Mean two people are close.”

Is that really what we are? Remus wants to ask. He sort of wants to yell it because, as great as this is, he sees nothing but a darker end. For himself, anyway.

“Oh.” Is all he says out loud and falls sideways a little on the couch into the cushions. He’s suddenly so tired. Sirius doesn’t seem to mind, though, and mirrors his position, their knees knocking together. His soft smile is still aimed right at Remus. “What’s yours then?”

Sirius’ smile grows, “Mama give to me when little.” He raises his eyebrows, “Little bit funny, not laugh.”

Remus feels a smile of his own start up and he uses his sleeve to wipe his nose, sitting up a little more, “I won’t laugh.”

“Sivushka.” It rolls nicely off of Sirius’ tongue, and his cheeks pink a little but he looks pleased, “Sort of…for family? Friends. Not so much lover, too…small?”

“Casual?” Remus offers, “Like, it means a different feeling.”

Sirius’ smile is soft, “So good with english. So helpful.”

“Sivushka.” Remus tries it out, but it doesn’t sound half as good. Then, he can’t help it, heart in his throat when he asks, “What’s…what’s more than friends? Like, not—just, I’m curious what that would be.”

“Lover? Sirusya, maybe.” Then he smiles, eyes crinkling warmly, “You like? You call me?”

“Surely someone already calls you that.” Remus tries to keep his voice light. I mean, look at you. He wants to add.

Sirius sits up at that a little, eyes going hard, hand—that had been rubbing idly against Remus’ knee—going still, “No. No one call me.”

Remus swallows, “I—I didn’t mean—“

“I’m not—изменя́ть.” He huffs in frustration, “изменя́ть—I’m not know, not know, okay?”

Remus’s chest goes cold, “Okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything.”

“Not be here if with—someone else.” Sirius shakes his head, “Not like that, Remus. I’m not.” The phrase is followed by a disgruntled spell of Russian that Remus does his best to follow through tone alone.

“I know.” Remus finally says, “I know you aren’t.” Because he’s only met Sirius twice but he can honestly say he does know this about him, “I’m sorry.”

“Not apology, карамель.” Sirius rubs his hands over his face, “Too much action, sorry.”

Remus looks on in confusion, “What?”

“Me, me,” Sirius gestures aggressively towards himself, “Me. Too much action. Not right.”

Overreaction, Remus thinks and nods, “No, I understand.”

“I’m know…what guys you probably see doing…this.” Sirius doesn’t look at him as he acknowledges exactly why Remus is there for what feels like the first time other than money exchanges, “Not wrong for you to think. But no.”

“Sirius, it’s okay.” But that feels wrong somehow and so he says instead, “I mean, we’ve done this three times.”

Sirius is quiet for a long moment this time. “It’s true.” Then, after running his fingers over his necklace a few times, “You have other small name?”

The topic change pings a little, “Um. Not anything big. Re, mostly, if anything.”

“Re.” It sounds like a lovely mess of vowel in Sirius’ mouth, “That’s all?”

Remus nods, “Nothing like Russia, huh?”

Sirius runs a hand over his face one more time but when he moves it there’s a trace of his usual smile, “I’m find you one, not worry.” Then, eyes down and voice quiet but questioning, “You have…small name…for lover?”

Remus swallows. His throat is so dry all of a sudden so he just shakes his head, then realizes Sirius isn’t looking at him so he croaks out, “No.”

Sirius nods back, “Oh.” Then he grabs the remote and pushes it into Remus’ hand, “Find something. I’m call for tea and get money before forget. Be back.”

It seems like the end of the conversation, but the conversation doesn’t feel over. Remus choses a movie, but he couldn’t say what it was about. When its over Sirius has to tuck the money into Remus’ back pocket himself. He presses another kiss to Remus’ cheek. Then Remus doesn’t hear from him for two weeks.

[blookmallow]

so i met the prince of madness, discovered some Weird Shit, and made another character despite never using the second one i already made 

---

i was minding my own business walking down an abandoned corridor and suddenly im in this mad tea party in the middle of some spooky woods

OH !!! FUCK

what a LOOK

i had to help a guy dealing with his tiny, tiny personification of courage getting beat up by Self Doubt and Anger i could NOT make this up if i tried 

sheogorath also gave me these clothes apparently bc i had them for some reason. this is incredibly silly 

SO I WENT ON A MISSION WITH FARKAS AND UH

APPARENTLY MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN WEREWOLVES ALL ALONG. THE MORE YOU FUCKIN KNOW

i legit did not see this coming at ALL but im a lil annoyed that i got tricked into joining the werewolves but seem to not be allowed to join vampires (i know if you get attacked by a vampire you have a chance of catching vampirism from them but like. vampires are mostly just Enemies like bandits or w/e) 

farkas says the. silver hand or whatever they’re called are “bad people who don’t like werewolves” but arent they doing the same thing the dawnguard are doing. i dont understand the werewolf/vampire lore in this at all like

vampires are mostly just enemies, there’s a league dedicated to hunting them who seem to be mostly considered heroes, the guards mention these hunters positively, they recruit openly in whiterun

vampires seem to be pretty universally hated and considered evil

but the companions, a pretty highly respected guild, are all werewolves (it’s probably not totally common knowledge, but they are, ) the werewolf hunters are depicted as the bad guys, every werewolf ive met so far has been a friendly npc / at least someone you can hold a conversation with, while every vampire has been just an Enemy

the companions seem to be able to control their werewolf powers and transform at will rather than randomly, but the guy in falkreath cant control it and murdered a child/is outcast by society 

so i guess “its ok to be a werewolf If you can control it” seems to be the verdict here but then i havent seen anyone claiming its ok to be a vampire if you can control it?? i dont know skyrim’s vampire rules but usually they’re able to survive on animal blood or by like, consensual feeding that doesnt take enough to kill the host. werewolves and vampires both can’t necessarily help what they are but it seems like way more of a choice to become a werewolf. i guess vampires Have to drink blood and werewolves dont Have to hurt people but they cant. help that 

idk theres some weird double standards going on here and as a person who loves vampires and doesnt care for werewolves im just :/ 

farkas might also be in love with me now 

(ive read you Can marry him but he hasnt noticed my amulet of mara despite. saying shit like That :’) im not rly interested in him tho. i like him but i dont Like him like him. hes maybe second on the list of ‘If I Had To Pick A Dude’) 

i found two of the same guy out in the wilderness

like. its hard to see here but it was, im pretty sure, the same model, twice. the same voice. the same lines. it was very strange :’) im guessing theres probably a pool of random hunters/travelers/bandits/whatever you can run into that just sort of get generated into the world and. something went wrong 

i dont remember what we were talking about but i suggested Why Not Simply Eat The Soul Gem and she was delighted by my innovative ideas. im on a quest to retrieve a spoon for her that she somehow lost halfway across the country. i love her

i just figured out who she reminds me of she is absolutely tannis,

then i also made another character despite the fact that i already never use my khajiit but shh

this is amaranth shes horrible and shes on a mission to Wreck Everyone’s Shit 

she has very faint swirl tattoos on her face and i wish id made them brighter, i liked the subtleness of it but you effectively just cant see it ever 

not that it Really matters so much what my characters look like since u cant see them 90% of the time but Listen

i can fix it when i get her to riften i guess though

anyways she wants to be a powerful mage, has No morals, wants to kill every last imperial for what they (almost) did to her, but doesnt really support the stormcloaks either, just supports Herself and Chaos 

shes not trying to just Murder Literally Everyone In Her Path but like. is basically looking for Any excuse to kill someone. doesnt want either side to win. just wants to watch the world burn. probably going to join and betray Both sides

i dont remember why i murdered a guard (i remember it was in belethor’s shop so i probably tried to steal something and failed) but anyway, i murdered a guard, and can just like. walk around town wearing the clothes i stole off his corpse and nobody minds 

they minded very much that i killed him lmao but i gave up trying to fight the guards bc more kept coming so i just took the jail time and now im forgiven, I Guess, 

seems like owning a full set of guard armor, which includes a helmet that obscures your face completely, would be a great way to disguise yourself to do crimes but i dont seem to be recognized as a guard wearing this/people still know who you are somehow 

im not sure how much awareness npcs have of what you’re wearing like i get comments about my stuff sometimes (’lightly armored means light on your feet! smart!’ ‘favor the bow, eh? im a sword man myself’) but then no one seems to care if im walking around wearing vampire armor and a weird cultist mask, so

[thepilotanon]

gardenia iii

Second Trimester

I’m sorry it’s been a while, but here it is! This is a bit longer than last time for some extra special stuff for Belle {reader} and Clyde in the journey of becoming parents, so please let me know what you thought while reading! I have more in store for next time, so I hope you enjoy!!

warning: none!

“I’m getting big.”

Hearing the voice of his wife’s voice reach his ears under the ruffling of his towel, Clyde raised his head to see her standing in front of the body mirror with a concentrated look on her face with her hands at her backside waist. Wearing his Bob Seger shirt and her underwear, hair messed at the top of her hair, she bobbed the limp bun with the tilt of her head with a sigh. As said, her belly was now showing obvious signs of growing more prominent and round, making the music singer standing on the railroad tracks tilt with the curve of her belly…

And, to Clyde Logan, his lovely Belle couldn’t look any more perfect.

Keeping the towel over his wet hair, Clyde strolled in his unbuttoned jeans and sat on the edge of their bed. He watched her bend her torso back a bit, frowning with the shape of her growing stomach and then stand straight with her hand running up and down the whole expanse of it. She obviously was struggling with her self-confidence of her appearance in the morning, yet she would eventually dress herself in one of her cute outfits and smile all proud. Clyde knew she would come out of that sort of funk eventually when they woke up that morning, but this was going on longer than usual.

“C’mere, Darlin’,” Clyde beckoned with a gentle curl of his finger, catching her attention with a turn of her head. When she made her way over, Clyde wrapped his arm around her back and used his hand to pull her closer to have her stand between his legs.

Looking up with an adoring gaze to her face, Clyde pressed gentle kisses to her growing bump before speaking. “Y’know with yer belly growin’ is part of havin’ a baby, right?”

“I know,” Belle nodded, laughing while reaching up to continue towel drying his hair. “I just - I don’t know, I feel like my belly is oddly shaped right now. All my guts and organs are shifting around to make room for the baby, and I look weird. Really weird!”

“You look beautiful,” Clyde insisted. “Really beautiful.”

Belle snorted and rolled her eyes, making him grin and lock his hold on her when she tried to step away from him. “You look just as beautiful the first time I saw ya wear my favorite Bob Seger shirt, remember that? Got caught in that rain on our walk an’ I invited ya in to warm up and stay the night, ‘cause ya didn’t have a car anymore…”

“And your license was still pending,” Belle recalled with a teasing smirk, which Clyde nodded and gave her stomach another kiss. “You couldn’t drive me anywhere, unless I had my ID, which I stupidly forgot at the time.”

“Still, I gave ya my favorite shirt, tellin’ ya it was good luck to keep ya from gettin’ sick from the cold,” he continued, his hand rubbing across her lower back. “Swear I never saw any girl more precious n’ sweet in an oversized shirt, could’a swore my heart was gonna burst when ya came out after changing. Asked if ya needed anything before I set up my bed for ya to sleep in -”

“And I said I only needed you, like those cliche movies,” Belle mumbled with red cheeks, refusing to look his way. “Then I pulled you to bed.”

“Pulled? Belle, you practically tackled me!” Clyde declared loud enough to get her squealing with embarrassment and bend down to hide her face into his shoulder, making him grin. “Was worth hitting my head on the wall, though. Still remember that night like it was yesterday, and then wakin’ up to yer pretty face sleeping the next mornin’ an’ not wanting to leave the bed.”

“You’re so warm and great to cuddle with, I wouldn’t have wanted you to leave anyway,” she gushed, nuzzling into his neck while he situated her to sit on his knee, cradling her body carefully to him in a comfortable cocoon of his naked chest and fresh scent of his shampoo and soap.

“Had the most perfect body of an angel, and still do, Darlin’,” Clyde told her confidently. “Seein’ how our lil baby bean is growing inside ya, knowin’ that their perfect and beautiful momma is carryin’ ‘em and helping ‘em grow. Don’t mind one bit if yer guts movin’ ‘round in ya, yer still my sexy lady.”

Belle laughed against him and reached up to kiss his cheek adoringly. “What if I turn out to remain weirdly shaped for the rest of my life, like a potato?”

“Still my beautiful Belle Logan,” Clyde confirmed, turning his cheek to catch her smiling lips in a sweet kiss, sighing. “If you can love a goofy-lookin’ man like me, I’ll love ya no matter how ya may look. Nothin’ ain’t gonna change it, Darlin’.”

“Okay, you’re stuck with me and my funny shaped body.”

“Yer perfectly shaped body that I can’t keep my hand or mouth off, ‘cause it’s so addicting and hot. Yer jus’ my hot lady an’ God don’t I love ya,” Clyde purred before catching her in another kiss, only deeper that made her fingers tangle in his wet hair and hold on. Feeling how her knees were pressing together, Clyde was careful to dip his wife and lay her down on the bed, hovering above her body as his lips moved to press kisses along her skin to the collar of the shirt she wore.

Belle whined desperately, pushing the towel off his head to drop to the floor. “Clyde, aren’t you going to be late for work?” she asked, yet pulling his head back to kiss him again with no plan of letting him go soon. “You need to leave soon, don’t you?”

“I own the bar, sweetheart,” Clyde chuckled against her mouth before pulling back and taking hold of the bottom edge of the Bob Seger shirt, tugging playfully. “I can be there anytime I want.”

“Can you save it for when you come home? It’s too early and I want you to be at work, where you are suppose to be,” Belle teased, stopping him from lifting the shirt up her growing belly. Holding his cheeks with both hands and stroking her thumbs against them. “Please? Then, you and I can have more fun with no one to bug us or work to do. You know once I start, I will most likely refuse to let you leave me for anything.”

Clyde sighed but gave her a soft, loving smile, nodding before kissing her forehead and helping her up and off the bed. “Alright, Darlin’, whatever you want. Just be ready for lots of lovin’.”

With her hormones changing left and right with her energetic need for her husband, Clyde has been able to pick up the littlest signs of her needs like a pro. Little behaviors of her pressing her legs together, her constant sighing or being fidgety whenever they’re sitting at home, Clyde doesn’t hesitate to tend to her needs. For him, he is enjoying the fact that the little game of catching hints with Belle gives him all he needs to give her pleasure at any time of day. Although, most of the times she will willingly go to Clyde for help, she sometimes needs some of his professional loving to get her feeling better. Clyde loved it.

Giving her a playful growl as he playfully nibbled on her neck to get her laughing, Clyde peeked down between them before he burst out a loud snorting laugh that startled her.

“What?” she giggled in confusion, her cheeks flushed while he combed her hair back lovingly. “What are you laughing about, big bear?”

“I jus’ realized,” he chuckled and gave her a deep kiss, “we match, baby.”

Belle’s face twisted with confusion when he stood straight and mimicked her stance with her hands on her sides, feet stance apart as he grinned with amusement. “Our bellies, baby. We match, see?”

When Belle looked to their bellies, how Clyde had his slightly curved belly touching her own in a mimicking manner, as if he also was carrying something inside his abdomen. Covering her mouth with both of her hands, she did her best to hide her amused grin and laughter behind her hands while Clyde laughed joyfully over the comparison, reaching over to kiss all over her face again.

“See, Darlin’? Ya don’t look weird at all, we can match while our lil baby keeps on growin’,” he offered with a bright grin. Dropping to his knees, Clyde lifted the shirt up to under her breasts and nuzzled lightly before kissing the soft skin with little butterfly kisses. “Don’t ever think yer lookin’ big or weird, Belle.”

“Okay, silly man,” Belle laughed lovingly, allowing him to cuddle her stomach. “Come on, you need to get going. I’ll visit you later, okay? I’ll bring you lunch and spend time with you on your break.”

“Lookin’ forward to it, Darlin’,” Clyde sighed happily, making her giggle at his daydreaming behavior. “Always lookin’ forward to it.”

Sam and Fish, Joe Bang’s little brothers, were special guys to say the least. At least, according to Belle. Having grown up with the two younger brothers as more on the lines of siblings, rather than uncle-figures, like with Joe Bang; they were playmates with Belle during the summers, and she grew to have more confidence in fighting her own battles with the support of both brothers at her side. However, as much as Belle loved the Bang family as her own surrogate members, she did question Sam and Fish’s intelligence when it came to construction projects and repairs around the household. Majority of the time, from Belle’s own witness testimonies and stories from her grandfather, both younger brothers were prone to creating a bigger mess than what they started out with.

Even now, walking into both of them with various tools, plywood and screws about on the unkept porch of their small home, Belle Logan was more than ready to deal with their usual doofiness.

“What are you two idiots doing.”

Both of them jumped at the sound of Belle’s monotone voice, knowing she was not the least bit surprised to find them hanging around their house on a weekend. Being that they were now ‘men of God’, they had a lot more free time to tend around their house, to make it suited (for the ladies, she assumed well enough). This, however...was something different.

“Belle!” Fish gasped, jumping up to his feet to see her holding the small ice cooler in one arm and a tupperware filled with her homemade cookies in the other. Careful with his bare feet to avoid stepping on screws, he made his way over to hug her and kiss her head lightly. “Didn’t think you were gonna make it today, Belle. We were gonna try and surprise ya!”

“Surprise me with what?” Belle narrowed her eyes at instantly noticing Fish’s voice quivering. Seeing Sam turn around on his bottom, a toothpick in his mouth, Belle saw the poorly printed out packet of instructions.

“We were gonna surprise ya at the baby shower, but thought we could’a make it better before anyone else could’a gotten it,” Sam claimed proudly, grinning. “We’re buildin’ a baby crib for the lil baby! Gonna make it cute and artsy!”

Looking between the two men and their supplies, Belle knew instantly that the wood they collected came from the junkyard - some of it already rotting, others burned or splintered; their choices in tools already mismatched from what the instructions requested...and she was sure they got it from some sort of online step-by-step website without a proper source. Sighing, Belle let Fish take the tupperware of cookies before placing her palm on her growing belly.

“That’s really sweet of you two to build a crib,” Belle started carefully, being mindful of how the brothers were already shoving cookie after cookie to fill their cheeks like chipmunks. “But, that won’t be necessary. Clyde and I are already looking at cribs that have safety locks and everything it needs. This...doesn’t look too well constructed.”

“Oh, but it is, Belle!” Sam claimed, covering his mouth so she didn’t have to see the drool and chewed up cookies when she made a face. “See? We got prints on how to make it, and we got all this wood!”

“Where exactly did you find this wood?” she asked with a raised brow. “Which store?”

“Mmm, well - not so much of a store,” Fish drawled slowly, causing Belle to place her hand on her hip. “We know you like it when we recycle, yeah? We found spots where some people dump all this good wood, so we took it and cleaned it with soap n’ water from the hose! It’s still all good.”

“Oh, boys,” Belle groaned. “That’s not how it works. When you build a crib, you get a crib set from the store, not going roadkill picking! I’m not going to put my baby in a crib made from molding wood and WikiHow instructions, you guys!”

Both Fish and Sam looked at the mess between them before to each other. It was only a matter of time before Sam shoved Fish’s shoulder, muttering “I told ya so, you moron!”

Before either of them could get started in a roughhousing fight on their hazardous porch, Belle pushed the cooler between them. She knew food distracted them much better than their own tangents. “I said it was sweet of you two to offer to make a crib for us, but we’re not going to use this. You two can probably...use the wood for bonfire nights, or something. Maybe build a birdhouse or something for the critters that come into your yard? I’m sure that would be better use, and you guys can keep building.”

“We wanted to get ya something special, is all,” Sam huffed. “What else are ya gonna need for the baby?”

Belle rolled her eyes with amusement, her head shaking with another sigh. “Diapers, for sure. Maybe some clothes or toys - store bought,” she reminded them before they could ask. “You know, some blankets don’t hurt or different sized hats and mittens for the colder months, depending how fast the baby grows.”

“Well, is it a boy or a girl?” Fish asked, actually catching her off guard for a moment.

“Well, I have a doctor appointment coming up in a couple of days to be able to tell the gender of the baby,” she answered with a shrug. “But, we’re having the results mailed to Mellie, for the baby shower.”

The brother looked at her with confusion. “Wait, so yer not gonna know the baby until when?” Sam gawked at her, making her snort.

“At the baby shower. Mellie’s going to be doing a gender reveal for us,” she explained. “Clyde and I want to be surprised, and it was her idea; I thought it was a fun idea and Clyde was into it, too, so I won’t know what the baby is until then.”

“That’s nuts, Belle!” Sam whined, looking at her belly with a worried tone. “I won’t know what to get for the lil bug ‘til after it’s told at the party; that won’t be fun or fair for us, you know!”

“Wait, what ‘bout those signs them old ladies at the church told us ‘bout?” Fish suggested. “What they say about bellies bein’ low, it’s a boy? ‘Cause of the lil willy danglin’, right?”

“Nah, it’s when the breasts get bigger, you idiot! They gotta sag!” Sam smacked his brother upside the head, earning a groan. “When the boobs swell a lot, it’s gonna be a boy. If it don’t, it’s a girl! Or, look at her hands to tell! Belle, show us yer hands!”

Belle gave them a look that made them both go quiet for a moment. “You guys are too much sometimes. I love you two, but I better not catch either of you trying to stare at my chest or feel my hands, or I will not hesitate to cut your hands and your eyes out.”

“We know,” they both said in unison.

“If you guys want to help pitch in buying a crib, I’m sure Clyde would appreciate it. I know I would,” Belle offered kindly, handing them the package that held their favorite sandwiches and snacks inside. She always had the habit of making them big lunches before they set out to helping with different kitchens and food drives for their community churches. “Or, you can talk to Mellie and ask her to let you in on the gender, so you guys can find ideas on what to get for the baby. The party is next week, so you both have enough time. How about that?”

“Guess that sounds pretty good,” Fish mumbled with a small pout.

Looking around at their little mess, Belle pursed her lips before offering them a smile. “You know, those two sisters who go to your church? The ladies who wear those pretty necklaces that always matches their shoes.” Seeing how she caught both of their attention, Belle was careful to get herself down the steps of the porch. “They always come into the flower shop and talk about how much they wish they had little bird houses or homemade flower pots for their yards, but I don’t sell those at work. Just an idea, so your wood doesn’t go to waste. Bye boys, love you!”

“Love you, Belle!” both men shouted rather joyously before getting to work, making her hide her laugh as she left the yard to where Clyde was keeping his niece amused by having her on his shoulders, letting her mess with his hair and reach tall branches with her newfound height. Once Clyde caught sight of his lovely wife coming back to his side, he became more giddy and reached with his prosthetic hand out for her to take while his real one properly held Sadie in place.

“What were they up to?” Clyde asked politely once Belle took his offer and got to her toes to kiss his cheek. “Lookin’ like they’re making somethin’.”

“They were going to try and build a crib for the baby using rotting wood,” she started, instantly resting her hand on his chest when he immediately stiffened up and turned his head. “But, I stopped them to build flower beds for some single ladies at their church, and help invest in a store-bought crib instead for a baby shower gift. They know not to try and go against my orders when I say I’m not going to put our baby in a dangerous contraption.”

“Me neither, Darlin’,” Clyde grumbled deeply, his voice dropping to his more protective growl that caused Belle to giggle and Sadie to notice the sudden change in his behavior. Belle turned his chin down to her so she could give him a gentle kiss, just to make him feel better and ease up.

“Don’t get grumpy, they’re just trying to be helpful in their own, silly way. They’re definitely more open about being affectionate than Uncle Joe,” she cooed to him, giving him another kiss. “Don’t worry, I’ll let Uncle Joe keep an eye on them. For now, I still want ice cream from that cute shop we take this sweetheart to!” Tickling Sadie’s knee, Belle grinned at seeing the little girl laugh from her uncle’s shoulders.

“Does the baby like ice cream, Aunt Belle?” Sadie asked, causing her uncle to smile.

“Well, I’m having cravings to eat ice cream a lot, so I think the baby likes ice cream!” Belle told her carefully. “Although, we won’t be feeding the baby ice cream, right?”

“No, babies are too young to have ice cream!” Sadie gasped, proud of herself for knowing this fact. “But, when the baby is old enough, I’ll be a nice cousin and share my treats with him. I’ll be gentle!”

“Thank you, sweetie. I’m sure the baby is going to love that.” Belle grinned up to Sadie, which made Clyde smile and forget his previous ‘Big Papa Bear’ instincts kicking in. “Until then, I can eat all the ice cream for the baby, which is a lot safer, right?”

“Yeah! Uncle Clyde, can Auntie have lots of ice cream? I only need one, but Aunt Belle can have one for herself, and more for the baby until he thinks he’s full - I don’t know how much a baby needs to eat, but there’s room inside Aunt Belle’s belly, right?” Sadie asked, her hands tangled in his thick hair, making him chuckle.

Holding hands on the way to the little strip mall, the trio made it to the little ice cream shop hidden between a nail salon and a thrift store that often hired high school kids to work the counters. Getting Sadie her cotton candy ice cream cone and sharing a chocolate one with his wife, Clyde eventually found himself sitting next to his wife conversing with two other mothers while their niece was running around with the other children on the nearby playground. His prosthetic arm carefully resting behind her shoulders on the bench, his flesh hand rest comfortably against her rounding belly. His thumb brushing over the fabric of her dress every time she giggled, his eyes focused on keeping track on Sadie’s whereabouts while she did all the talking.

“How far along are ya now?” a mother asked curiously, her three boys digging on the sandbox area not too far away with their Hot Wheels getting caked with tiny rubble.

“I think twenty-one or twenty-two weeks now,” Belle answered, looking down to her stomach and resting her small hand over Clyde’s, smiling. “Do you remember how long?”

“‘Bout twenty-two, Darlin’,” Clyde responded quietly, having her nod and confirm the answer to the two others. He didn’t indulge himself in the conversation, feeling a bit too shy and focused on his niece at the moment with strangers jumping in and asking questions.

“Oh, how darlin’! Yer practically glowin’ right here, sugar!” the other mother, her daughter currently playing with Sadie on the jungle gym, praised excitedly.

“Well, I think after all that hormonal moments when I cry too easily don’t make me too bright,” Belle confessed with pink cheeks. “Although, I have been getting more happy afterwards, and the walks help.”

“See, that’s the big thing ya gotta keep doin’, ya gotta keep yer perdy smile on to be glowin’!” she responded quickly, as if dishing out important information. “Ya don’t get that too often with first time mothers. Hell, I was nothin’ but a snooty brat and wanted to eat everythin’ in sight; didn’t wanna get off the couch and got headaches too easy.”

Belle nodded carefully, finishing her cone politely before Sadie called for her attention. Wanting to show her aunt how brave she is to jump off the bright orange tube tunnel, Sadie kept waving to Belle until she excused herself to stand up. Clyde immediately jumped to his feet to help her, even though she insisted that she didn’t need help, Belle excitedly held his hand before calling back to her niece to proceed. Once Sadie focused herself in an acrobatic pose and jumped off the three feet tall “cliff”, Belle clapped excitedly when the little girl came running to them.

“Did’ya see me? I was up so high and I jumped all the way down!” Sadie proclaimed proudly, earning Belle to hold her cheeks and kiss her forehead.

“You’re so brave, honeybun!” Belle praised sweetly, stroking her niece’s blonde hair when the girl rest her cheek against the top of her tummy. “I saw you climb onto the tunnel and I couldn’t believe how brave you are!”

“And I didn’t hurt my knee or nothin’!” Sadie grinned, then looked to Clyde. “We won’t tell Momma ‘bout this, right? It’s our secret day!”

“You bet, sweetie,” Clyde nodded, getting ready to scoop her up and place her on his shoulders for the walk home, leaving Belle to bid her goodbyes to the other mothers. However, hearing their whispers caught his attention.

“Your man may be the quiet type, but I can tell he’s very excited for the baby. He’s probably glowing as much as you are, if I may be honest.”

“He’s such a gentleman, you can tell he’s so excited to be a daddy; I wish my boyfriend was the same with my firstborn, since he wanted to have a baby first. He is gonna be so protective and lovin’, you can see it on his face!”

Feeling his cheeks grow hot, Clyde cleared his throat and kept his head down while leaving the park hand-in-hand with his wife and Sadie holding his hair for support. He knew Belle didn’t miss it, her cute, little smile on her face remaining the rest of the way home and until Jimmy came to pick up Sadie, which left them alone for her to cuddle up to Clyde’s side. Clyde eventually ended up a blushing mess with Belle’s hand gently rubbing up and down his chest and her lips giving him gentle kisses along his jaw and cheek.

“Have you thought of any names lately?” she asked him after a while of cuddling against him, making him blink in realization and blush a bit. “Everyone has been suggesting names and guessing what the gender is, even though only Mellie knows.”

Clyde hummed softly, turning his chin to kiss the top of her head. “Lil bit,” he admitted. “Not much, though… Keep thinkin’ of generic names, but I dunno if I want it too generic.”

“Tell me some,” Belle grinned, making him chuckle and wrap his arm behind her, keeping her warm while cuddling on the couch.

“Thought of Daniel, George or Georgie, maybe Peter, for a boy. Then, Elizabeth, Mary or Kimberly...not really good name ideas, huh.”

“They’re not bad,” Belle defended, yet he knew by the small wrinkle of her nose that she wasn’t a huge fan of them. “I’ve been thinking we should find a name that’s special for both of us, or has a good history… How did your parents name you, handsome?”

His memory kicking in to when he would go to his mom and dad, asking the very question, Clyde smiled softly when he rest his cheek against her. “I’m named after me n’ Jimmy’s godfather. His name was Clyde and he was my dad’s best friend...and was actually my ma’s first boyfriend.”

“What?” Belle gasped, looking up at him and he laughed.

“Well, if you count fourth grade an’ datin’ for ten minutes as a first boyfriend,” he snorted. “Anyway, he was my ma’s best friend, then became dad’s in junior high. They all grew up together and all that; he was the best man in the weddin’, the whole deal. Apparently, he was really handsome and funny - blond, muscular and a cute dimple with some nice blue eyes.”

“He sounds like a nice man,” she complimented and he nodded in agreement. “How come I haven’t met him?”

Clyde exhaled. “He died before I was born, actually,” Clyde confessed, feeling Belle frown against his shoulder before cuddling closer to him. “He was a volunteer fireman when Jimmy was a kid, and one day he got stuck in a burning building, rescuing a lady who was trapped. He managed to get her out to safety, but the roof collapsed and he got pinned. Ma asked if they could name me after him, n’ Pa agreed right away; I was gonna be named after my dad’s pa, but they weren’t close.”

“That’s sad, but also very sweet. Naming you after someone special to the both of them, that’s wonderful,” Belle smiled sadly, snuggling her head against him, her head on his chest. “I’m sure you lived up to his name well: You’re a very handsome, strong and wonderful man who helps people for good.”

“Thank you, Darlin’,” Clyde cooed. “Since ya asked me...where did the name Rosabelle come from for yer folks?”

“Ah...my grandparents named me actually.” Adjusting herself to curl more comfortably against him, she gently tugged Clyde’s arm from behind her to wrap around her shoulder. Clyde simply wrapped both of his arms around her and cradled her properly into his lap, not minding the bump that shield their unborn baby. “They named me after the nurse who found me, after my mom left the hospital with me still in the room she was stationed in.”

“Ya serious, baby?” Clyde frowned, his brows knitting together with his growing irritation. When Belle nodded, Clyde huffed. “Jus’ a lil newborn, and she up and left? What kind of mother does that to a lil baby that was jus’ born?”

Belle shrugged, mostly uncaring of the mention of her mother. Between them, it was always like this: Clyde having this bewildered expression at something her biological parents have done, and she didn’t care. To her, they weren’t parents, but strangers. “Anyway, there was a nurse named Rosabelle Brown who heard me crying because I was hungry, and she came to the room to find that my own mother cut the IVs and wires hooked to her, stole some supplies and left me behind. She called my grandpa and both he and grandma came with the cops.

“Rosabelle was the one to feed me my first bottle and made sure I was safe until my grandparents came to get me. She told them how well-behaved and sweet I was to her, despite being a newborn,” Belle grinned and rolled her eyes a bit. “They thought it was only right to name me after her, but I did get to see her a lot when she retired, and she would join my grandmother with her pageant events. She was a very sweet old lady. Very beautiful. She had this pretty dark skin and curly hair that she had a favorite headband on to decorate it; she was always smiling and had the most prettiest hazel eyes, too.”

“Still,” Clyde exhaled with a sort of sorrow, catching her attention to look up. “For anyone, even if she didn’t want to keep ya...to just leave ya like that, all alone.”

Belle’s eyes softened and she snuggled closer to him. “I was what my mom called a ‘mistake’, because she couldn’t hide her pregnancy from my grandparents and they held her in place up until I was born - she originally wanted to go off with my father to California, or something, but they didn’t let her. She didn’t even tell them she was in labor when she was suppose to be under ‘house-arrest’ or whatever,” she rolled her eyes. Her hands coming to rest against her growing belly, a warm smile spread on her face. “However, I know this precious little angel is nowhere a mistake. I can’t wait to see this little baby’s eyes open when they’re born, and tell them their first ‘I love you’ when I get to hold them, and tell them how special they are…”

Clyde’s only hand joined hers on her tummy, his lips instantly kissing her head, shoulder, neck and cheek. “Baby, you weren’t a mistake - you were a blessin’, no matter what yer mother said. You were a blessin’ to yer grandparents and Joe Bang; a blessin’, sweet angel and most special gift to me,” he told her honestly, nuzzling his nose to her head. “Makin’ me fall in real love n’ lovin’ me back, now givin’ me a family, all that, it’s jus’... Yer gonna be a great momma, Darlin’.”

Hearing a familiar groan, Belle leaned away from her husband and carefully turned around to find him with tears in his eyes. Frowning, Belle reached to hold his head with both hands, wiping a falling tear off his cheek. “Clyde, what’s wrong?” she asked quietly, only for him to shudder and pull her into his embrace again.

“Yer jus’ gonna be a wonderful mama, baby girl,” Clyde told her in a thick voice, hiding his face into her hair as she lightly rubbed his back. “This lil baby of ours is gonna know how much mama loves ‘em, how much you want ‘em and make the world feel wonderful, like ya did with me.”

“Oh, honey,” Belle aww-ed softly, lifting his ace to give him a gentle kiss, which he returned rather desperate and needing to express his affection for her. Belle smiled against his kisses, massaging his temples carefully when he pulled back to try and breathe. “My sweet man, you don’t need to cry over this, my handsome husband,” she cooed, kissing his cheek and jaw. “Of course I will be loving our little baby, but you know for a fact you’re going to be such a spoiling daddy. Gonna spoil with kisses, and treats - even when you know dinner is about to be ready in just a little bit. You’ll tell stories well until they’re knocked out and play so much.”

Clyde nodded. “Y-yeah,” he sobbed, a sort of airy laugh leaving his lips when he saw how brightly his wife grinned, knowing him so well. “Yeah, y-ya know I would… You would catch me sneakin’ treats, tellin’ me how naughty I am and our kid laughin’ at me, huh.”

“Our happy little baby, which parents who love them sooo much,” Belle corrected carefully and Clyde sniffed and nodded with strong enthusiasm. “Like how I was loved by my grandparents, and how you were loved by your parents.”

“Yeah, maybe more than that - gotta lot of love to give to such a tiny, tiny lil thing,” he insisted and Belle smiled and kissed his big nose. “Gonna have to spoil you and the baby, so much.”

“I think we both look forward to it.”

Clyde chuckled through his tears, burying his face into her neck and kissing any exposed skin he could get ahold of.

“So much love, sweetheart,” Clyde insisted lovingly, holding Belle and their unborn baby as close as possible. “So much. So much love…”

Fun fact: Despite knowing the gender of the baby between Week 16-19 of the pregnancy, parents have the option to wait and have the gender concealed in a thick envelope and mailed to wherever you want!!

taglist: @ayatimascd @kyloxfem @kylo-renne @damndriver @formerly-anonhamster @oh-adam @redhairedfeistynerd @rosalynbair@deliriumdoll @bellaren18

[momestuck]

Epilogues: Candy, chapters 1-5

This is gonna get long.

The Candy route is, in effect, the route where John refuses to go back to finish off Lord English, but remains on Earth C. Instead, the story begins by picking up another long neglected thread: Gamzee. Then it continues to various other places.

Contains: a rough recap of Gamzee’s story, a longwinded attempt to be evenhanded and not callous about the Gamzee Discourse, because it’s relevant again... and then I read the next three chapters, which visit some of the other characters, setting up the board for the new story (because let’s be real, this is a whole new story of its own at this point!)

a quick recap

It’s been three years since the comic ended so I’m gonna recap what I remember about Gamzee’s story. He was sent on a murderous rampage in the ‘murderstuck’ arc - there’s some debate if he was acting according to his own will, or that of Lord English’s agents, there, but either way he killed a large number of the ‘beta trolls’. He was ultimately stopped by Karkat, who deployed the ‘shoosh pap’ of establishing moirallegiance. During the three year meteor voyage, he entered into some kind of very harmful kismesis relationship with Terezi, but got very little screen time. And uh... then I get confused.

In the “game over” arc, he is mind controlled - I recall by Aranea - and used to bring about the deaths of most of the cast. This, of course, was retconned. Also I think I skipped over a bit.

And, in some capacity, he was present when Caliborn won the contest for dominance with Calliope. He assisted the young Caliborn’s villainous plan, and for his trouble got repeatedly shot to pieces, which he took silently.

And at some point he got locked in a fridge by the rest of the cast. We briefly see him get knocked about in there during ‘Collide’, and then he makes no further appearance.

Let’s go on the Homestuck wiki and see what I missed...

while under the sway of Lord English (murderstuck arc), he caused some of the kids to receive Lil Cal and a harlequin doll, which is what made their session ‘terminal’

he intervened in the alpha session, and was responsible for the prototypings of various dead trolls into combined forms

this:

The fridge remained on LOTAK until Lord Jack was decapitated which resulted in a black hole, somehow taking Gamzee, Crowbar's crowbar and Yaldabaoth to future Earth.

so i guess i missed that in all the chaos of Collide, but that explains how he ended up in Caliborn’s world.

also crucially, half of Gamzee is absorbed into Lil Cal along with Caliborn and Arquiussprite, which creates Lord English, the series villain.

so anyway...

The initial premise of this story is: John decides to remain in the C universe and enjoy his life instead of living in an undecisive fugue, rather than go out to fight Lord English and wrap up that side of the plot. Calliope makes a request of him: he should use his retcon powers to pull Gamzee out of the plot, someone ‘only he can save’.

The second chapter is basically a very sarcastic discourse post in Gamzee’s voice. Shortly after being rescued, Gamzee goes onto a long speech about how he’s prepared to redeem himself, and the ‘mitigating factors’ that make him worthy of redemption: (an ‘abusive childhood’ at the hands of his goat dad, and his socialisation). I’ll excerpt a bit to give you the general flavour, with the typing quirk removed for readability:

gamzee: i been all like. abused and stuff, homies.

gamzee: as a child, i got motherfuckin neglected on by a stern old fatherly goat.

gamzee: i was a disappointment on him, and can’t says i blame him for abandoning the shit out of his useless kid.

gamzee: i woulda motherfuckin done the same shit at me if i was a big cruel goat.

gamzee: so that explains like, pretty sure most of my crimes in a way that makes a motherfucker wanna take his forgiveness out for a fucking spin.

gamzee: there’s other reasons to consider, like...

gamzee: shit that makes this redemption arc fuckin tight like an uncracked elixir.

gamzee: like, hows my purple blood meant i got the culture pressures put on me to be a salty damn jester for life.

gamzee: what about that hand the messiahs dealt me, my bitches.

gamzee: a motherfucker’s gonna envy that like a wicked cod rash.

gamzee: so how can i full and truly fuckin get blamed on for, when it comes to a little bit of subjugglation i got culturally hornswoggled up to doing, and also tragically goat abused which needs to make you shed a tear for this motherfucker, lest you wanna be as atrocious as me.

This is reminiscent of V’s episodes in Friendsim, insofar as - we’re clearly not intended to buy it, but it’s directly mocking lines of argument in the fandom, about whether it’s ok to be a fan of Gamzee (because fandom is all about casting moral judgement on finding that you relate to fictional characters’ narratives in the wrong way, justifying your own attachments to characters and works as progressive, etc...).

By putting these arguments in a very explicit and ridiculous form (having Gamzee speak on whether he personally deserves a ‘redemption arc’), and then having the narrator and also popular characters such as Terezi dismiss them, V’s stance is fairly clear - at least these particular readings of Gamzee are to be dismissed. Terezi comments:

JOHN: apparently we’re going to let him have a “redemption arc”?

TEREZI: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4

JOHN: yeah, it’s...

JOHN: well, what is there to even say?

JOHN: it’s literally the dumbest fucking idea i’ve ever heard, but what can you do.

TEREZI: SHOV3 H1M B4CK 1N TH4T FR1DG3 4ND THROW 1T 1N TH3 OC34N, 1S WH4T

There’s two ways the story can go from here. One might be that this is the last we’re going to hear about Gamzee, it’s just a quick fuck you to one particular set of readings of Homestuck, and then on to whatever V considers more important. Another is that, a more subtle story is about to be told than the deliberately absurd framing here.

I should state my own stance, since it’s probably going to be relevant. I had a friend who cared a great deal about Gamzee, in part because he was essentially a chew toy in the latter part of the comic, who could be treated violently without consequence, which - as far as I understand their feelings - my friend found meaningful in relation to their own experiences of abuse.

I recall thinking there was some credence to ‘mind control’ interpretations, which posit that the difference between Gamzee’s chill affect early on and his ludicrously violent behaviour later was the control of Doc Scratch and other agents of Lord English; Gamzee in this reading is aware, and horrified (as hinted at by a brief window where Aranea’s mind control is released during the Game Over arc and he is ‘himself’ again, and cries and begs for mercy, before once again becoming extremely violent). Whether this is the case during the ‘fridge’ section is not clear. This goes some way to explaining why Gamzee is indestructible, and mutely devoted to assisting Caliborn when Caliborn treats him with nothing but violence.

In this reading, Gamzee is a tragic character to the point of absurdity. He is forced to witness another person committing horrific actions with his body, and then abandoned by those who’d care for him because they do not recognise the mind control. His only escape from one mind controller is another one.

However, that’s just a reading. For fans who identify strongly with Terezi, Gamzee is often interpreted as her abuser due to the effect his relationship is shown to have during the asteroid voyage (pre-Game Over). To these readers, people - such as my friend - who identify with Gamzee are engaging in apologetics for abuse.

Because this is so fraught, I am not going to make any claim that a particular reading of Gamzee is ‘unambiguously true’. I think a third interpretation is the ‘shitty writing’ one, that Hussie basically intended Gamzee as a joke character, not one with interiority. He’s a scary clown! Perhaps he didn’t realise how strongly this character, who from the start was presented as someone to laugh at, would resonate with the readers.

I hope that this discussion gives some sense of the different possible nuances of Gamzee, and I am hoping that this epilogue will not simply be a polemic for one particular reading.

now, chapter 3+

I read the first two chapters right after I heard about the upd8. From now on, this will be a true ‘liveread’, i.e. written alongside my first readthrough of the story.

At this point we switch viewpoint character to Dirk! This is a very short chapter: Dirk cancels ‘everything’ - all his ongoing plans - and does not explain why to Jane, or Jake. Whatever the reason is, it’s very bad news and has a short time limit.

Apparently John’s decision to say has had some kind of metaphysical effect, which causes Rose’s mysterious malady - and her various anxieties concerning ‘canon’ - to dissipate.

So she gets to spend some time with Kanaya. This is nice - we barely got to see Rose and Kanaya together as a couple in canon. It’s a sweet conversation... and makes me worry about what’s going to happen in the ‘Meat’ route.

There’s a little clarifying on Jade, Dave and Karkat’s relationship now...

JADE: i never thought id be thinking of you as my weird nerd friend by the time we were in our twenties

It’s a weird, intimate, and uncomfortably close to sexual thing to be doing in front of other people. Dave and Karkat share a vaguely mortified look. Jade sort of lives here, but she doesn’t that sort of live here.

The expression is so warm and blatant that it can’t help but draw Jade’s attention. She frowns and pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose, making some quick calculations in her head. They’re so obvious, she thinks, and yet here they are. Virginal losers who are performative about sitting exactly a foot apart whenever they’re in public. It’s so pathetic it makes her want to howl at the moon in sorrow. 

so i guess we’re going to have a jade working very hard on getting dave and karkat together type arc

well i guess we are but oof, jade what the hell... jade decides to like, go in with all the subtlety of a train, aggressively flirt with karkat, up to the point of like, putting her fingers in his mouth... which to him is just like, a straight up assault. but it’s them who are ‘hopeless’, not her...

dave very awkwardly changes the subject to talk about the possible Jane presidency. apparently, Jane is very xenophobic towards trolls (which didn’t seem immediately apparent from the comic but I might have forgotten tbh). Karkat speaks of ‘the potential genocide of my people’

DAVE: but i dont think shed go so far as to commit genocide

DAVE: thats really exaggerating her faults

DAVE: like wed have to get pretty far away from the people we were when we started all this for that to be a viable outcome

...phrasing it like that... makes me rather apprehensive!

[cherryblossomcrush]

kwon soonyoung (hoshi) | university au

This is just really long lil headcanon since I’ve not finished writing any of my wips or gotten close to completion, I’m really sorry :(

infatuated hoshi x oblivious and conflicted reader (ft wingman jihoon)

so,, hoshi is known to be a bright ray of sunshine that dances amazingly and,,, well,,,, a bit of an unorganised student

the reason being, is that he’s so passionate about dancing and dedicates most of his free time practicing his free time including sleeping a full 8 hours

whenever he has class scheduled in the morning he wakes up late, phone in hand and bag on his shoulder as he runs out of his dorm screaming his head off

he only just makes it in time for class and when he sits down, he sets up his phone to record the lesson and falls asleep immediately

you know of hoshi, and vice versa, through mutual friends

you’ve met before and talked a bit, but you aren’t what would be considered close friends even though you both share the same music class

and as it turns out, his reputation precedes him as you idolise him for his creative choreography, undeniable talent and outgoing personality

you have also always wanted to be friends with him,,, but deep down, you feel like you’d like to be a bit more than just friends

you happen to sit beside him by chance one day and see him go about his routine but,,,

halfway though the class you notice his phone is running low on battery

so being the kind person you are, you sacrifice your own phone’s battery to save hoshi’s grades

and as if a curse has been lifted, hoshi wakes up once class is done and packs up to leave

but before he can, you take your chance to speak up “you’re actually pretty smart”

and hoshi is like ?? what do you mean???

so you explain “oh, I just never thought to record lessons”

and he’s,, kinda embarrassed but also pretty bashful at someone calling him smart

meanwhile you realise that you have no means of sharing the rest of the video that you took for him so you abruptly ask “by the way, what’s your phone number?”

and hoshi just,,, he’s shook to say the least like how sudden yet smooth was that??

and you quickly realise from his expression that,, oh,,, oh no,,,,, this is a BIG misunderstanding

“I just wANTED TO KNOW BC YOUR PHONE RAN OUT OF BATTERY AND I TOOK A VIDEO FOR THE REST OF THE LESSON FOR YOU-” but you stop before you embarrass yourself any further

,,, and you two just stand there awkwardly in silence for a while,,,

“I-I have something really important that I need to attend to s-so,, uh you could ask jihoon for my number, sorry”

you don’t know why, but you can’t help but feel dejected as you let out a quiet sure and watch him go

“that boy,, is so dumb”

is the first thing jihoon says after you finish telling him about the whole ordeal

“he’s so careless and im sorry that you had to do this for him”

“no it’s okay, I just thought that we could be friends if I did this”

and jihoon is like “friends?? I thought you were-” until he realises that oh,,, OH i get it now

and you’re like whatwhatwhat

but all jihoon says is “nothing~” before he tells you where to find hoshi if you want his number

and,, you frown bc you don’t want to be rejected again,,, especially in person,,, TWICE

instead, you say goodbye to jihoon as you go back to your dorm to study

a few hours later, you get a text from jihoon saying “i need some help with writing lyrics for my song. go to the recording room, ill be there in a bit.”

it’s weird and unlike him, but you comply and make your way there and see jihoon smiling brightly

“hey, thanks for coming here on short notice, but could you going into the recording booth? I need to see if this sounds good with the melody”

you agree, entering the dark room and, low and behold, it’s a confused hoshi staring back at your equally confused face

“hoshi?”

“he locked me in here”

then you hear a little familiar laugh as the door closes behind the two of you with a click and jihoon talking through the mic

“hey nerds, talk to each other and confess or whatever and I’ll let you out”

and hoshi lets out an awkward laugh “so uh this is weird, I’m sorry about jihoon I had no idea that he’d do something like this”

you want to brush off the apology and make a joke but you’re curious, too curious about what jihoon meant “what did he mean by confess?”

hoshi’s laughter quietens down as he starts to fiddle with his shirt and a light blush appears on his cheeks

“w-well, I kinda have a thing for you. I really admire you and your musical talent,,, m-maybe I admire you a bit too much”

and you’re like “oh wow,, I don’t know what to say” bc you’ve admired him from afar for such a long time and you’re unsure about your feelings

and suddenly hoshi has felt the same?????

“its okay, please don’t feel pressured, you don’t have to say anything.” so you don’t and just sit there until you speak up again

“I really respect you and your talent, and I don’t want to confuse my feelings with that”

and hoshi,,,, hoshi lets out a soft defeated oh then says “so do you have feelings for me or?”

“I’m not entirely sure” and it’s silent again

jihoon thinks that he may have messed up big time and is about to get up to unlock the door when,,, “how about we go on a date? just to help confirm your feelings?”

at first you’re shocked, caught off guard at hoshi’s sudden proposal, but you consider it “ok, one date but please don’t get your hopes up”

hoshi is ecstatic and jihoon is pleased with himself, finally letting the two of you out

“don’t forget to exchange numbers!” and you don’t but only thanks to jihoon

that night, hoshi texts you the details of your date for next week and your heart jumps a bit at the thought

the next few days hoshi greets you with a smile, sits next to you and goes to sleep during class

you never notice it but he actually looks really,,, adorable,, even with drool coming out of his mouth

the night before your date with hoshi, you’re panicking and need jihoon to calm you down

“he’s whipped, fifty dollars he’d genuinely compliment if you showed up covered in blood. also, why are you so worried about how you look if you don’t like him that way?”

“I never said I didn’t return his feelings, I was just confused”

“but now you’re sure?” you dont respond and instead look through your clothing for an outfit to wear when your friend advises you to go for a dress and heels

but once you meet with hoshi, you feel overdressed when he leads you to an arcade

though he assures you saying “it’s fine and you look beautiful” and making you blush

as the date progresses, you begin to have fun and learn more about hoshi

“I like dancing a lot, but I want to write my own songs, in fact jihoon has been helping write lyrics”

“is that how he lured you into the recording studio?”

“pFt what? no,,,,,,,,, yeah it was”

hoshi lead you to his favourite game, and surprise, it’s ddr

but what hoshi doesn’t know is that you’re beast at ddr and beat the renowned dancer at his own game,,, quite literally

“I think I’m in love”

“shut it kwon, we’re here to fight to the death”

“,,,,,, through the language of LOVE AKA DANCING”

it’s all fun and games until the clock hits 9 pm and you realise that you have a song to finish composing within two days

so, gentleman hoshi drapes his jacket over your shoulders and escorts you home

the walk is silent, not awkward and tense like before, but,,, comforting

“ive always wanted to be a dancer, nothing else ever really came to mind whenever someone asked what I wanted to be” hoshi’s voice is soft as he speaks

“everyone has always said that it’s not realistic, that it’s too competitive, that I might get hurt,,,” you continue to listen, his voice becoming croaky

“I’ve been told that the dancing is the only thing I know how to do and even im not considered good enough no matter how much I practice,,,

you hold his hand and squeeze it in reassurance ”,,, or that I’m not smart enough for any normal job and that’s why I chose dancing as my major"

“at first i envied how smart and talented you were so I tried to compete against you secretly, but over time, I began to realise that you weren’t competition, but someone I looked up to”

“you were one of the main reasons why I continued to dance, because you motivated and gave me the courage and strength to continue, thank you”

you’re too shocked and flustered at the revelations to notice that you’ve arrived as you absentmindedly watch hoshi walk away

you could turn around and go to your room,,,,, or,,, you could chase after hoshi right now at this very moment

you choose the latter, running in heels to catch up to hoshi

“oh my god, are you ok-”

“I was wrong”

when those words leave your mouth, hoshi believes that he has never felt so confused about anything until he met you

“before I said I didn’t want to mix my adoration with artificially forced love but really,,, i confused liking you with idolising you because, well, you’re kwon soonyoung, super star dancer hoshi,,,, and im just me”

it’s your turn to be confused and surprised as hoshi takes your hand into his kisses you gently

and wow,,, WOW fireworks are going off in your head

“even if you or others view yourself as average, that would be far from the truth, and even if that was true,,, Id still love you the way you are”

this time, you initiate the kiss and both pull away with wide goofy grins

“does this mean we can go on more dates?”

“mhm, just remember that i rule at ddr, dance king”

[edourado]

The Cabin (part 2)

Here I am! Friday-almost-Saturday, but it still counts as the “next week”! Deadlines, man. Deadlines. 

Here’s the second part of your Christmas gift, @shipsabound! Hope you enjoy it! I really liked writing it! 

Also, happy New Year!

Muah!

She kept saying that he needed a haircut. But, if not getting one meant she was going to keep weaving her fingers through it every time he was within her grasp… Well, he was just not gonna get one.

He should not like that so much. Sure, he had always liked it, the feeling of someone’s hand (preferably a lady’s hand) in his hair. Maria used it all the time as a trick to get him into doing something she wanted, to get him into bed, to get him to fall asleep, to calm him down.

Since her, however, he had, honest to God, forgotten he liked that so much. Plus, it’s not like his army regulation buzz cut allowed for much… Playing. Since he became the Punisher, though, and had to go underground for a while, his hair care had faltered a bit. And he did mean to fix that, he really did. But he never got around to it, and it actually helped him go unnoticed, so he kept postponing it.

He did get rid of the beard. Told himself that it was more practical, but he knew, deep down, that it was because of the way she kept frowning at it when they first met after all those months.

“You’re a mess, Frank”, she had said, finally, once she got up from that bench, heels click clacking on the floor, hair up in a neat bun and God. She looked so good. “You need to shave.”

So he did. For convenience, he kept repeating to himself. Not for Karen.

(It was for Karen. One hundred per cent, for Karen. But that fact would die with him.)

The haircut, though, kept being put off. And she didn’t seem to mind that so much, so that was that.

But he did, in the end, decide he needed to, at least, trim it down. It was getting out of hand, he actually had to move it aside once when he was shooting a pervert. Didn’t affect his aim, the scumbag dropped right where Frank wanted him to (at the feet of his abused wife), but the fact that he did have to brush it aside meant he needed a trim.

And then, of course, she had to go and become Kyle Pretchett newest, biggest obsession, so he and Max moved in with her until he got the cabin in the woods for them. Frank wasn’t a man to hide, but Karen was too important for him to gamble with her life. He knew that he could end Kyle five minutes, but she mattered more. Her safety mattered more. So off he went, away to the woods with her, his dog and his truck. Let Red take the lead on this one, he didn’t mind.

He didn’t mind it at all, actually. It was nice to see Max running around, for a change, he didn’t get to do that a lot in the city. Frank laughed at his attempts to hunt squirrels, his less than gracious spins on the frozen lake in front of the cabin, his rolling on the fresh snow.

And Karen, well. No one in the planet would say that she was a target. She hummed in the kitchen, poured them glasses of wine, smirked at him, sat on the floor with Max, endless questions of “who’s a good boy”, her blonde hair shining in the winter light.

They were already close, but they got closer even before they got out of the city. He took her hand to keep her close to him when they were in public, the official reason being that it was in case he needed to pull her out of the way quickly. The real one was that he liked the feel of her fingers around his.

Like pieces on a puzzle, they arranged themselves comfortably, perfectly. In the diners, his arm would curve around the back of the booths, around her shoulders, her right side always pressed to him. In the car, she would reach to him and feed him chips, chocolate, beef jerky, cookies, bites of her burger, forkfuls of her salad, french fries.

And he would stand behind her, guiding her around the improvised shooting range he put together for her, because she wanted to “learn” (she was a pretty good shot. His praises would tint her cheeks red, that smile a prize for him, every time). He would whisper the steps of dismantling her gun and putting it back together, cleaning it, counting bullets, teaching her about his own guns, safety, chamber, kick, aim, he was there in her ear, drinking wine, getting drunk on her perfume, falling asleep on the couch, waking up with her curled up to him, her face in his neck, ankle twisted around his.

Yes, Frank was there to protect her, he would always be, as long as he could breathe. But did he enjoy her proximity, her touches? Did he like to know how her skin felt under his fingers? Did he like to smell her shampoo way  more often that it was normal?

You can bet your ass he did.

Red called with the news. Good news, of course, Kyle had been found, had been shot, was in a coma. Frank had half a mind to drive back to New York and finish the job himself, but Karen was lying there on the couch with him, pressed against him, smiling at him, looking at him, it was snowing outside, they had a ton of food in the fridge, wine to drink, a cabin all to themselves, shit, they were not going back.

After they agreed to wait, after she had snuggled up further into him, after he let his hand wander up her back, in her hair, his leg around hers, her breath on his neck, the shy tip of her fingers touching his jaw, they fell asleep on the couch again, too wrapped up in each other, they both knew it, this was too intimate, the way he looked at her was too intimate, the way she opened up was too intimate.

But there they were. Too intimate. Fine with it.

A few lines had been crossed already, they both knew this was more than just a friendship. Still, he felt like he needed a solid excuse to keep advancing. It was the holidays, Christmas time, some mistletoes were bound to be hung around this city. That would be nice.

But no. No mistletoes. Not a one. They went to different diners, they went to different stores, they stopped at random gas station stores. Nothing. Christmas came and went and it was like the universe was telling him to step up his game.

He thought about Maria, and the one time her brother had used the typical Christmas custom to make a move on a girl.

“Ugh”, she had said to Frank, watching the whole thing. “Seriously. He needs to up his game. Mistletoe, really? How high school.”

He had to laugh when he remembered it. Okay, babe. Point taken.  

So that was a bust. He would have to figure out another way. It was becoming difficult to resist, especially when she would keep nursing those glasses of wine, lips taking a lovely, enticing red stain. Especially when she would keep running her fingers through his hair like that, while she sat there on the couch, already tipsy, lazily running her nails from the base of his scalp to the middle of his head, behind his ear, slow little scratches that had him shivering down his spine.

“You need a haircut”, she said, voice slow, so slow, the wine was making her mellow, the snow and the cold outside making her soft, the fire he started on the fireplace every night making her warm.

“Do I?” he asked, letting his eyes fall closed when she kept on with her caress.

“Mm-hmm”, she hummed, hand travelling down his neck, now, going around and stopping on his chest, pulling until his back rested against the couch she was laying on and her mouth was right there on his ear. “You never stop working?” she asked.

Frank eyed the guns he had been cleaning, the pieces of them scattered around the coffee table.

“Keeps me busy”, he said, turning his face, looking at hers, those electric blue eyes staring at him, cheeks tinted pink, lips stained red.

He wondered, just then, what her tongue would taste like.

“Hmm”, was her only reply, but he heard the comment she wanted to make. He heard her offer of keeping him busy some other way.

He was staring at the way her teeth pulled on her lower lip, paying close and undivided attention to the movement when his phone vibrated on the floor. He actually let out an annoyed breath and her timid smile only made him want to close that gap a little faster.

“It’s Matt”, she said, after taking a peek at the caller id.

“Of course it is”, he sighed cursing the timing of the man. “Yes, Red, what is it?”

It was nothing. Absolutely nothing. He just wanted to know if everything was ok, if they needed anything, wanted to speak to Karen. Basically he just called to be in the way.

Karen’s voice was soft on the phone, answering his questions, assuring him that she was “fine, I promise”. Her eyes on Frank, and then on the ceiling, when she moved to lie more comfortably on the couch, not on her side like she had been, and Frank wanted to roll his eyes when she laughed of a joke, told him “don’t worry, Matt”, too soft.

When she handed the phone back to him, getting up and walking towards the kitchen, he watched as her hips swayed with each step.

“Is she drunk?” Red asked.

“Lil bit”, Frank replied, watching as Max pranced after her, pressing his face to her leg, wanting attention. He knew the feeling. “She’s fine, though.”

“Ok”, Red seemed to be weighing the fact. “Ok, then. Just...”

He missed Karen. Frank could tell. Well, tough shit, buddy. He was not giving her back anytime soon.

“Call me if you need anything, ok?”

“Sure thing, Red. Good night, now.”

Frank finished the call and got up to go after her in the kitchen. She had a piece of toast in her hand, covered in whatever dip she had picked up at their last trip to the market.

“I have an idea”, she said, cheeks so red, reaching out and touching her toast to his mouth, so he had no choice but take a bite. Guacamole. Not the best one he had tasted. “Let’s ice skate.”

He scoffed, chewing and swallowing, shaking his head.

“No.”

“Why not?!”

“First of all”, he said, going back to the living room. “We don’t have skates.”

“Yes, we do! I found some in the closet in my bedroom!”

She whined and pulled on his hand, saying “please” over and over, and Max bit on the fabric of his pant leg, pulling, apparently copying her move, just because.

Finally, he sighed, let himself be pulled, looked her in the eyes, said “ok.”

She squealed, ran to get the skates and in less than 10 minutes, he was watching as she took tentative steps on the ice, arms out around her, gloves and puffy coat and wool beanie on her head making him smile, watching from the edge, hands on his pockets.

It was a bit dark, only the lights of the house and the truck lighting the frozen lake. Max ran and slid after Karen, spinning around her, stumbling and falling, just going with it and gliding on his back.

She laughed and he tried not to when she stumbled, almost falling, but catching herself. Looking at him, she reached out her hand and he found himself moving towards her, taking it, letting himself be pulled, steading her when she would falter, pulling on her hand, making her spin and glide, smiling to himself when she would laugh out loud.

“You’re good at this”, she said, holding his right hand with both of hers, trying to skate backwards.

Frank shrugged.

“Lisa loved it.”

Eyes on him, she smiled.

“I feel like Lisa and I would have been good friends”, she said, pulling him, looking behind her, watching where she was going.

“Yeah”, he agreed, musing at the fact that the memory of his daughter, his son and his late wife didn’t hurt as much when he was around her. “I think so, too.”

Max had already rushed back inside, probably too cold to keep running around them. He’s pulling her by the hand a bit, making jokes about how he’s gonna have her shooting a few targets from here, making her giggle, watching her hair flying behind her and he cheeks get too red from the cold wind.  

Fuck, he’s ridiculous.

The main thing about their stay here, Frank noticed, is that time slipped away from them easily. Not that they ran out of it (they’re blissfully, happily without a deadline to go back to the city), they just keep losing track of the hours, the days. They woke up and had breakfast at noon, lunch at five, dinner at one in the morning, went to bed at three, sometimes four, sometimes just when the sun would start rising.

They only realized it was Christmas when she looked at her phone on the 25th, around eleven in the morning, while he flipped them some pancakes.

“Oh, hey!” she exclaimed from the table, lifting her face from the phone, smiling at him. “Merry Christmas, Frank!”

She had placed a kiss on his cheek a proceeded to bake cookies. “Christmas cookies”.

Now, right when he was holding her hand, their arms extended and she was balancing in one foot, they heard fireworks, far away. Looking up, they could spot the lights behind the trees, back in the city.

They slid to a stop on the ice, and she looked at his face when they halted, standing close to him, fingers squeezing him.

“Happy New Year, Frank. Apparently.”

There they were, too close together again, he saw his hand rising to her hair, like it would, on it’s own , her skin and his fingertips cold, their breaths condensing before them.

“Happy New Year, ma’am”, he replied, not too loud, because she was right there, so close.

God, he wanted to kiss her.

One flick of blue eyes to his lips and he was leaning, her breath was catching slightly, and his mouth was touching hers, his chest was warm from the inside out, the tip of his tongue touched hers, she sighed in his mouth, shit, shit, he was gone.

New Year kisses were supposed to be chaste. A peck. Quick, not this long, slow, intense thing, full of tongues and nibbles and sighs and moans.

Alas, there they were. He had one hand on the nape of her neck, a bunch of her hair caught in it, keeping her face against him. Her own were on his waist, fingers hooked on his belt loops, and on his chest, pulling on the flap of his coat, opening her mouth to his, swiping her tongue against his, feeling so good, she felt so good, he had no business enjoy how good she felt.

A gust of frigid wind blew then, hitting them from the side and she gasped.

“Oh, my God, I’m freezing”, she said against his face, laughing, and he leaned further to get another kiss, a long press of his lips against hers, before turning around and pulling her off the ice.

They removed their skates on the porch and she ran inside, rushing back in, where it was warm. Max, smart dog that he is, was curled up in front of the fireplace, the chew toy Karen had given him between his paws.

“Oh, shit”, Karen was saying, rubbing her hands together, standing in the middle of the living room. “My toes are frozen.”

He walked to her, caught her face in his hands and resumed their New Year kiss. She had her hands climbing his chest towards his neck when he took a step further, making her take one back.

He didn’t even feel her unzipping his coat, just felt when her hands rose to his shoulders, pushing it off, and he had to let go of her to get rid of the thing. When they reached the couch, he turned them around and sat down, her lips, slightly swollen already, making his insides twist, his blood running a little faster.

“C’mere”, he called, pulling on her hand.

She sat down by his side and he pulled her legs over his, taking the time to remove her cold socks, rubbing his palms on her soles. He was going to wrap them on the blanket they kept on the couch, but she pulled on his arm, making him lean towards her, pulling him by the neck when he was close enough, opening her mouth on his in the most delicious way, pulling him on top of her, settling her legs on each side of him.

Her body under his felt too good, too fast. He moved his arms to support his own weight, to pull back a little, but she arched towards him, tossing her head back and, suddenly, he was latched on to her neck, kissing and biting and sucking a little bit.

“Ma’am”, he tried, after a minute or two, pulling back again.

“Hmm, shh, no, no ‘ma’am’”, she interrupted, playing dirty, sucking his earlobe inside her mouth, running the tip of her tongue over it.

He chuckled.

“Don’t shush me”. It came out as a warning, almost.

“Why not? You shush me at least five times a day”, she said, looking at his eyes when he lifted his head to look at her, a stupid smile on, he could feel just how stupid it was.

“Do I?”

Instead of answering, she lifted her own head, capturing his lips with hers again, and Frank kissed her back. Because how could he not?

He should not, of course, but that was a problem for the city, for later. Not for here, for now.

For now, the problem is weather to keep kissing her, running his hands up her covered legs, her sides, a strip of skin under his fingers at the limit of her thick sweatpants and the hem of her top, or to work on warming her feet up.

Karen decided for him, moaning under him like that, both her legs tight around his, one of her hands under his shirt, going around his back, fingers working through his hair that way that made him shiver and moan himself.

Max, on the other hand, had other ideas. Frank had heard him whining a little, but had paid no attention until he felt his cold, wet snout on his cheek, the crying sounds right there by their side, one of his paws trying to pull his hand from Karen’s hair.  

“What, man, what?” Frank complained, looking at the dog while Karen went “aaw!” and reached her hand to pet him. “Go play, Max, come on”, he said, waving him off, throwing one of Karen’s discarded socks for him to fetch.

It worked for a few seconds. When Max ran to get it, Frank went back to his task, licking a path up her neck until he reached her mouth again, lifting one of her knees on his side to better adjust her against him, rolling his hips a little, enjoying the sound she made.

Until, there was Max again, licking his cheek, catching a bit of the fabric of Karen’s sleeve between his teeth and pulling, groaning, now.

“Oh, that’s just rich, isn’t it”, Frank complained, looking at him again. “What do you want, dude?”

Karen, with both her legs still around him, looked and reached to Max again, rubbing his ear.

“I think he’s a little jealous”, she said.

Max sat there, enjoying the petting, eyes almost closed, but not quite. He was watching Frank. Smug little bastard.

As an experiment of sorts, he turned Karen’s face to his again, touching his mouths to hers and, sure enough, his dog complained again, sticking his face between theirs, this time not stopping until he successfully separated him from Karen, climbing the couch and wiggling between them until Frank was off her and sitting on the other end, one of his feet touching the rug, and Max was settled on her stomach, a very solid barrier.

Karen laughed and Frank groaned.

“Awesome. Great, buddy, that’s just great.”

He got up, pecking Karen’s lips quickly, before Max could stop him, and pried the dog off her, walking towards the kitchen.

Opening the fridge, he got the big chunk of meat he had bought the day before and was planning to grill for them on the next day.

“I can’t believe I have to bribe you, now”, he said, taking the meat off the plastic and showing it to Max, who sat, already eager, waiting for instructions (a treat like that only came after he had performed some sort of task for Frank). “I’ll give you this. You’re gonna eat it. And then you’re gonna go to sleep. Got it?”

Max blinked, eyes fixed on his prize.

“Max. Eat it and then sleep. You got it?”

With a huff Frank took as an affirmative answer, he placed the prime quality beef on his plate by the door, watching as Max picked it up and went to gnaw on it on his prefered spot in the kitchen: in front of the stove, where was warm.

Frank washed his hands quickly on the sink and then turned to walk back into the living room, where Karen was still draped on the couch, turned around to watch them, a smile on her face. Her coat was gone, discarded on the floor.

Before he could say anything - think anything, really - she reached her hand out for his. When he took it, she pulled him back on top of her, smiling and biting that lower lip, hand inside his hair again, oh, shit, yes, there was nothing to think about. Nothing to say.

In the middle of the night, when he was having fun watching her squirm under him (after he drove like a maniac to the closest 24h convenience store to pick up a box of condoms), he realized that he does shush her a lot. When she let out a particularly loud moan, he placed his hand over her mouth, shushing her, watching as she closed her eyes, biting on the fleshy part of his palm.  

She didn’t seem to mind the shushing right then, with her right hand on the headboard to give her some leverage against him, the left one in his hair again, tugging so nicely.

He was definitely postponing that haircut again.

[direction-on]

A RANKING OF TAKE ME HOME |2012|

AKA GOLDEN ERA OF 1D TMH ERA RISE. Best year of my fucking life man, this album was the fucking shit and the concerts were amazing. Live While We’re Young I listened to this song on repeat all fucking day. I bought the music video. Infamous inflatable banana and the birth of Big Payno. Don’t let the bitches steal your phone, we could see zayns and harrys tattoos, man it was getting risqué. Ah this song was the start of the rowing motion dance move fucking yes yes yes, fave bit w/out a doubt is the lil boats and hamster balls on the lake, as u can see I love this song, it was my saving grace, my summer song. 9/10 we’re starting strong bitch. Kiss You MY KRYPTONITE. Play this song in an exam and I will get up, play this song at my funeral and I will come back to life. This video (and the alt version) are probably my favourite ones of all time; shirtless 5/5, zen w floaties, all the little skits ahhhhhh bless just fucking bless this. Its such a good jam, you gotta dance and sing along to it. 10/10 I have strong feelings about it (GOOGLE NICK EXTENDED REMIX OF THIS SONG, also another reason I love it so much, the vocals are so fucking good for the bridge) Little Things Get ur phone lights out, its getting cutesy and slow. I’ve heard of people saying that this bashes on insecurities but I don’t interpret it that way, stop being negative amirite. SOLID VIDEO, Harrys voice KILLS U and his eyes look so beautiful even in black and white. HARMONIES MAN, LIKE MY GOD 9/10 song bc I loved Nialls solo in this song C’mon C’mon Oooh we back to the girl across the dancefloor songs, but they have been levelled uppppp. U gotta love this song for the stupid dance that they made up for it man. Zayns vocals were killa in this song, like he got some pipes man. 8/10 for the performance value, was such a good concert song. Last First Kiss What a jam, kinda repetitive, but the singing more than makes up for it. Zayns high notes that he did on tour for the end of the song made me love him, why did u betray us zen u bitch. 7/10 Heart Attack YOUU-OOO, DO-OO these are my favourite parts in this song. V reminiscent of UAN, pining pop and whatnot, but deffo a level up. I remember absolutely loving this song, but its become a fond song now, ya feel, others have taken its place, so it’s a 7/10. Rock Me Aka FUCK ME. What the fuck happened in summer ’09 ??? R O C K ME AGAIN. This song was like ‘we are older bois now, we can sing about sex but not directly bc our demographic are young girlies’, and I respect that. Good performance factor, so many opportunities for thrusting and innuendoes, basically a 2013 dream song. 8.5/10,,, the ex .5 id for zen Change My Mind UAN level up song, extreme level up. Imagine floating over girls while singing this, what a great jam, love the pick up in second verse its like oooh fun. It’s a good show off the vocal skills kinda song soooooo, 7/10 Baby if u say want me to drive 2 KFC. I love chicken. I Would This song makes me want to leave my non-existent boyf. Makes u feel loved even tho its just a voice, ah my life is so sad. HES GOT 27 TATTOOS, makes me laugh bc it ain’t an issue anymore (lets just average them out so niall can compete too). Harrys voice just gets all deep and husky in this one and it makes me feel some kinda way 7.5/10 Over Again This is a sweet song, I used to not like it as much, but I have grown to love it, I LOVE louis’ voice in it, it sounds so pretty. Lowkey didn’t know what the fuck a polo was I thought they were talking about the shirts and I was like wtf man. Overall a sweet soft song that deserves more love 8/10 Back For You Always loved, still love and will forever this song. The beat, the vocals, everything. Another art room song that annoyed the barbershop bois. Belt it because hes coming back for you <3 7.5/10 They Don’t Know About Us Quintessential secret love song that makes all girls think they’re in a secret relationship. Nialls soft solo is one of the best bits of this song, a bonus point for that Minus point for NEVER singing it live 6/10 Summer Love Nice soft song, v good lyrics except for the snow in sept. wasn’t relevant to us in NZ. Cri. Quite enjoy it, don’t think ive ever skipped it, but have come close, uh oh. 6/10 She’s Not Afraid ​My fuckin jam. I love this song. JUST SO HARD. SO HARD. *points at nialls dick* v upset that they didn’t put that in the film. Especially love this song bc they always jumped around on stage for this song. NIALLS LAUGH. Lets just call this the niall song bc he owns it, me thinks. 7/10 Loved You First EXTREME UAN PINING SONG LEVEL UP. The chorus is my fave bit, BABY I LOVE UR SHIRT. Play this song everytime harrys in a relationship bc that’s what this songs for bitch. 7/10 Nobody Compares I used to love this song but its gone down and other songs have taken its place. Let it be said that I have NEVER skipped it tho. ‘COMPARES TO YUW’ , honestly how I hear it. 6/10 Still The One THE UNDERDOG. A beautiful surprise at the end of a most beautiful album, a shining beacon of light. It draws you in like ooooh what is this and then the chorus BAM. UR ALL I THINK ABOUT BAAAAABY. A headbanger if there ever was one. Then we come to the bridge, what an experience, YOUR STILL THE OOOOOOOOONE. Harry. Harry. HARR Y. I call this song the I Should Have Kissed You glo-up that we didn’t know we needed. 8/10 RANKING OF TAKE ME HOME​​​ 1. Kiss You (10/10) 2. Live While We’re Young (9/10) 3. Little Things (9/10) 4. Rock Me (8.5/10) 5. Still The One (8/10) 6. Over Again (8/10) 7. C’mon C’mon (8/10) 8. Back For You (7.5/10) 9. Last First Kiss (7.5/10) 10. I Would (7.5/10) 11. Loved You First (7.5/10) 12. Change My Mind (7/10) 13. She’s Not Afraid (7/10) 14. Heart Attack (7/10) 15. They Don’t Know About Us (6/10) 16. Nobody Compares (6/10) 17. Summer Love (6/10) HONOURABLE MENTIONS ONE WAY OR ANOTHER (TEENAGE KICKS) Another beautiful cover by the golden boiz. Probably has the cutest album cover, a cute OT5 family photo, fuck u zen honestly. Bless the video and their stupid dance moves and stupid gangsta dancing in front of David Cameron. KISS YOU – THIS IS US LIVE FROM THE O2 ARENA I don’t know why, but this song makes me feel a certain kinda way and always cheers me up. Reminds of summer nights in India when all I did was listen to One Direction in my room alone and scroll through tumblr looking at concert pics, literally all I did in India. It has a spectacular ending and u can just feel the confetti and the flashing lights, it has a concert vibe to it that I love. TEENAGE DIRTBAG Forever salty that there wasn’t a full studio version of this song, complete with a superhero music video full of Harry punching the air and Liam frying things w his fire hands and would need a private jet at the end (like the film) bc a Bruce Wayne type One Direction superhero team is something I want. LAST FIRST KISS – THIS IS US REGGAE VERSION Studio version me with this song now. Like now. Makes me wanna go to Jamaica and chill out on the beach w Harry w some mojitos or something. TRULY MADLY DEEPLY // MAGIC // IRRESISTIBLE If you don’t know these songs, im disappointed in u. They belonged on the full version of the album in my opinion.

[blookmallow]

hey wow look what i found buried in my drafts from 300 years ago

this started as Bits Of Story Notes but then i kinda ran with it and let it become more drawn out prose so now its like. a lil writing blurb 

specifically, about antis and their formations. its kind of a nonspecific narrative voice i didnt want to try to work into particular characters bc then id be limited by which characters know what/who would be willing to tell who what/etc so its not anyone in particular (theres also some names missing bc i havent figured out all the details)

--

“But what IS an Anti? How could something so... sinister come from someone so kind?”

“Well... that’s the trouble of it, you’re looking at it all backwards.”

“Backwards?”

“Well, to start, they come from nothing. It’s no fault of the Origin’s, after all. ...and you speak as if humans are inherently something kind, Antis inherently something cruel. I can promise you that simply isn’t the case.” 

Antis are not literal pieces of their origins - it isn’t so much “my dark side, embodied,” no proper Hyde to one’s Jekyll, as it were. An Anti comes not from within, but without; like a formless, nonsentient parasite locking itself to an unwary host. This occurs at random, of course- anyone could have an Anti. 

Any human, that is. 

Though they’re said to be particularly drawn to those with high propensity for magic.

The nebulous spirit matter from which they come is all around us- no, don’t look, you can’t see it. Not even the Soul Collectors can. But something invisible, no matter how transient and slight, is none the less real. They have no self yet; no mind to think or to consider, no consciousness at all. Only the instinctive drive to become. Antis long to exist before the conception of “longing” exists within them. They form themselves as a sentient, corporeal being through the unconsenting assistance of the Origin. That person becomes a sort of mold, a self and a form from which the Anti creates a kind of reversed mirror image to inhabit itself. 

The very moment of formation is still quite mysterious even to Antis themselves; how exactly it occurs, or why this moment and not that, and each Anti is quite different just as humans are from one another. It is not impossible for two Antis to form in the same way, but the variation is infinite. 

However, it is as of now believed that an Anti comes to fruition upon achieving some kind of inciting incident which serves to shove the dormant spirit into physical reality, such as a moment of intense emotion, contact with magic, a traumatic event - something to release the spirit that has been quietly building itself up. 

“But-...what if it doesn’t? What if there is no incident, the spirit never released-? What would that... do to a person?”

Well... Nobody knows. Possibly it might kill the both of them. Possibly something more sinister may occur, an amalgamate form never meant to be. But we need not worry about that. One could hardly imagine a person who never has a moment of intensity in their entire life. It is most likely the case that the spirit, upon having built itself up long enough, eventually will release on its own, anyhow.

Now, some Antis have an immediate fixation on their origin, some are an immediate destructive force, some are scared and confused by their own sudden existence, and... some just want to get as far away from them as quickly as possible. It’s not entirely fair to compare them to parasites - their formation is not harmful to the Origin, after all. But it is said that they are never quite the same afterward. 

Damian Nightfall - yes, that one -  formed from shadows one night when young Skye Blue had a particularly violent nightmare; he was suddenly awoken in the middle of the night and overwhelmed with dread in the darkness of his room. He had never been afraid of the dark before. He had sensed a growing anxiety every time the lights went out for weeks beforehand, but never told anyone; it felt silly and irrational to him- why would I be scared now? Why, I’ll be turning thirteen soon! I ought not to be afraid of dark rooms. 

But he was, anyway. 

He watched in confused horror as his own shadow turned into a dripping, crawling darkness that slowly gained mass and moved sluggishly across the floor on its own terms.

the thing on the floor immediately fixated on him, and while it was only half-formed and still an amorphous shambling mass of shadow, it lunged out of the darkness to attempt to strangle the boy the moment it had anything resembling hands

Miss Shuri immediately felt the intense distress - and the threat to Skye’s life, as it most definitely was - and appeared at once to cast the Anti out. But she refrained from killing him, though she could have, because a soul collector never kills if it can be avoided - and Damian was really only a child then. 

He slithered off somewhere into the woods, and continues to terrorize Skye to this day - though he’s no longer interested in actually killing him. An Anti without an Origin becomes mortal and powerless, as he’s learned all too well. 

And so that was Skye’s first encounter with Damian. He still suffers from frequent nightmares, and cannot sleep in the dark anymore. His shadow, even in bright sunlight, is oddly faded and light - not terribly noticeable, but almost as if there’s less of it somehow.

Miss Iris appeared as a sudden face in the mist of toxic fumes that erupted when Christina had fallen into a patch of mushrooms in the woods

there was a brief moment of grotesque entanglement as Iris’s body formed against her; both confused and trapped against each other, but both struggling to get away, each in disgust of the other 

the moment they became untangled, there was a brief instant of hatred between them, and Iris vanished in smoke. These days, the two are content just to live their lives completely away from each other - neither acknowledges the other’s existence, and both are better off because of it. 

Laelia Thorne’s Origin’s hand was cut off in an accident - and moments later, the severed, still-bleeding hand suddenly began spasming and mutating, growing itself out hideously, red blood pouring out in a bright rush as if it were being purged out - until Laelia was formed.

The poor girl was so horrified, she passed out from the shock. When she finally came to, Laelia was gone. No one believes her, supposing her to have been in a state of hysteria from the traumatic event - but the hand was never found. 

She never saw Laelia again. 

Lex Calamity’s Origin was looking into a mirror one day; feeling a crisis of identity, stressed and alone and feeling lost, when she realized suddenly that her reflection looked somehow wrong.

It wasn’t following her movements anymore, as if it were frozen in wide-eyed horror. She stared back into the mirror, feeling as if she were looking into a stranger’s eyes. A wild impulse to smash the glass to pieces came over her, but she could not bring herself to move.

Tears slowly slipped from the reflection’s eyes - which were rapidly changing color - but not from her own. In a sudden movement, she reached to touch her own face, but the tear was not there. The reflection did not move. 

Inky black spread over the reflection’s blonde hair, consuming it as if a bucket of paint had been dropped over its head, as she could only watch in horror. 

She slowly, slowly reached for the mirror. This time, the reflection moved in sync - but when their hands touched, she felt cold skin instead of glass, and the fingers twisted into hers. 

She screamed and pulled back, inadvertently pulling the reflection out with her, and they both tumbled to the floor.

The reflection scrambled to its feet like a frightened cat and ran.  

They found her, hours later, sobbing on the bathroom floor, shattered glass everywhere. After they heard her story, the sisters took her away to be exorcised of the evil she professed immediately. There was no trace of the demon reflection, and it was never seen again. 

She is to this day desperately afraid of mirrors - and if ever she dares to look, her reflection is distorted and blurry- like some part of it has left. 

Sage Blackburn’s Origin nearly drowned in the sea; She was desperately tangled up in seaweed that suddenly became arms - she saw bright yellow eyes glowing in the dark of the water, and felt someone holding her, pulling her up toward the surface. 

Those eyes were the last thing she was conscious of before she passed out - the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen, she says. 

She awoke on the beach, alone, but alive. 

She believes a mermaid came and saved her. She calls her her Muse; she paints pictures of her all the time, trying to remember, and dreams of one day finding her again. She has overcome her fear of the ocean after this event, determined to return to the sea that she loves, and find her Muse again. 

Sage knows nothing of this, and left the girl on the beach, hurrying away to discover her own life. She has told no one of this story; and so no one knows if she saved her Origin out of compassion, or just so that she herself would survive - and Sage wouldn’t tell you if you asked her. 

[-unfinished-]

[roach: origin was very, very sick for a long time - and suddenly coughed up a huge bug that skittered away into the dark (and later, unseen, became Roach). they coughed up a few small, repugnant mushrooms, and immediately felt better. They recovered rapidly and seemed completely unphased by the whole ordeal.]

[gasket keskar: formed in a spark of lightning that destroyed a tree, but did not harm anyone. Origin (Kavi Narang) knows he exists, but has never seen him again - though he is actually interested to meet him again.]

[malkin erebus: formed in an explosion which destroyed Origin (Cyril Flintwitch)’s home and killed their mother. malkin did not intend to do this, and feels terrible for it, having never intended harm. cyril has permanent mental scars and has never been well since, though their paranoia and anxiety has improved recently - as well as their relationship with malkin. malkin is at times infatuated with cyril - and has had a very tumultuous history with them - but is learning to respect boundaries, and is accepting the responsibility for the things he has done.]

[crow hackett: unknown] 

[crank: unknown]

[zyx: formed from the dust under Origin (Cody Jemson)’s bed. lives there still. unsettling, but not actually harmful. yet.]

[siren hemlock: unknown]