#ITS FUCKING WEIRD THIS IS NEVER A SHOW I THOUGHT ID LIKE BUT

[storm-of-feathers]

Something insane is that Young Sheldon decided to retcon Sheldon not being autistic by saying actually he is his mother just refused to accept that and therefore everyone has lived under the impression that he isn't (which also re contextualizes the "I'm not crazy my mother had me tested" running joke which is now even less of a joke)

[artanogon]

thinking more about being trans

[svbhuman]

FINALLY I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LETS GO!!!!!! thoughts feelings?

i ran out of tags.. continued next post mayb

[euniexenoblade]

since we're talking about call outs lately, i've been called out many times, most of which are made from lies and sometimes by altering screenshots, but the most effective call out i ever got was like, in early 2015 there was a tumblr user everyone knew was a terf, but she would say "actually i support trans women" this was before crypto terfs were as talked about so the language wasn't really there to say "hey this person is a crypto terf." but yeah some people put posts of this woman on my dash and i made a random post on my blog "why do yall reblog her shes a terf" and of course she searches her own name daily, found my post, and replied to it that me calling her a terf was racist. that was it. no other interaction. but she went on all night talking about me being racist and just making things up as she went "oh i bet she says the n word all the time irl" kind of shit that had, like no basis? But her follower base took it 100% and i literally had thousands of anons telling me to kill myself, trying to goad me into being racist (didnt work), and the most concerning thing was i got hundreds of anons being like "what was the point of doing hrt if you still look like that, you should kill yourself." It was like, violent and overwhelming. and on top of it I'd get random young teenager trans people who followed her and bought into her bioessentialism showing up in my messages being like "you give trans people a bad name" "you're why transphobia exists" etc etc it was fucking crazy.

but i lost like, no followers because everyone around me understood, this woman was a terf. this all set up the real one though.

later in the year a teenage "communist" trans girl made some snarky comment about me being racist on a post of mine blowing up. i ignored her cuz like, who cares it's just some random teenager. but i guess people were looking for a reason to hate me cuz that blew up, lots of people just took that at face value no need to investigate. when someone finally did send the girl an ask being like "hey how is she racist" she replied "I dont remember but I know she is" and even more people just took this as 100%. the thing is, i do remember her being one of those "you make trans people look bad" terf following young trans people, it's not that she didn't remember, it's that she didnt want to admit she followed a terf and she believed a terf just saying shit. I lost like 3/4s of my followers, i had a lot of people i thought were my friends just stop talking to me, and going forward every time i got a call out there would usually be a line of like "also she's racist, everyone already knows this" all cuz this girl needed to make a snarky comment cuz she just loves terfs.

the thing about the "i dont remember" bit is it made some weird game of telephone. "I dont remember" became "oh she's racist, i think she says the n word" which became "she called black bloggers the n word" like people just made shit up about me and connected it to this call out. and when id be like this isnt true id be met with a "this is just known, youre a known racist" and it's like, to this day i will still find people be like "hey good on you for growing as a person and not doing that any more" and its like I NEVER DID IT TO BEGIN WITH

[catboybrain]

man if i had infinite patience to animate i would definitely try my hand at keys for some chainsaw man scenes

[cluelylikesporn]

Hii so this is somewhat my first time doing a request so I’m sorry if it sucks or sum 😭😭 Could you do Mike schmidt x babysitter! reader? Where Abby teases the reader in front of Mike for having a crush on him? srry if it doesn’t make sense or sound like sum interesting I just thought it would be cute 😭

RAHHH first of all thank you for your suggestion!!

second, its legit so cute wtff😭 dont even say it sucks

ALSO DISCLAIMER I KNOW IVE BEEN SAYING ILL POST FOR LIKE FUCKING 5 MONTHS AND THE FNAF SHIT HAS DIED DOWN BUT GUYSSS CMONN COME BACK

Im a lazy cunt😭

word count:

mike shmidt x babysitter!reader !!

gender neutral reader (correct me if i fuck it up)

mentions of y/n. literally once.

word count: 637

I WROTE THIS AT 2AM FORGIVE ANY MISTAKES OK GOODNIGHT

mike walked inside after his first shift at freddy’s, slightly rattled by the dream he had.. but glad to be home to finally get some freaking sleep.

when the door opened, he was BLESSED by the sight of you. abbys babysitter. if he had maybe a drop of self respect or confidence he could ask you out, maybe even date. but lets be honest hes a complete wuss and his best excuse is “not wanting to ruin the thing they had now” which was an occasional awkward exchange of the same 5 phrases such as “hello, good morning, how are you? im ok. how are you? good, hows abby? good. good.” and then a super awkward silence. but in the recent days, when he still worked at the mall he and you actually had nice conversations that didnt feel forced. mike had hope yet.

“hey, y/n.” he said as he put his keys down, observing abby as she swung her feet in excitement from the table, watching you as you made her pancakes.

“hi mike !” you say, turning to him slightly and cracking a smile before you looked away to put the pancakes on a plate and pass them to abby. luckily you looked away when you did because your eye contact was enough to make mike look like a tomato. “i hope you dont mind i made pancakes, if you want some, theres a little more i was gonna put away !” you said, reaching for a plate. “im ok, thanks. and dont worry about it.” he said, sitting next to abby who was looking between him and you, plotting an evil, DEVIOUS, horrid plan with a grin comparable to the cheshire cat. mike gave abby a terrified look as he began regretting even MENTIONING the idea of you in a romantic way to abby. he began mouthing pleads of her to show an ounce of mercy but she already turned to you and began to open her mouth.

“are you busy this weekend?” abby said while making direct eye contact with mike and snarfing down pancakes.

“uhm.. i dont think so? my only plans from now and the unforeseeable future is watching you so if your asking to hang out chances are ill be with you already, weirdo.” you said, as you begin washing up the dishes used to cook.

“not for me, silly! for mike!" she says innocently, batting her eyes and grinning like a madman to me.

god, ive never been more terrified by a fucking 10 year old. trying to brush off the comment of a date to a child, you piece together a response.

"uhh, if im babysitting you.. and its a weekend.. mike would be there too..!" you said awkwardly, trying to just scrub a damn pan.

"but, what if i was at a friends house?" abby added

"then i wouldnt be there." you say.

"but mikes so lonely..! he has so friends-" abby begins, before mike puts his hand on her mouth.

"abby, stop being weird- what the hell!" he says before being interrupted by abby licking his freaking hand.

"thats so unhygienic, dont do that." he says as abby giggles evilly, and you begin to speak.

"well if mikes sooo lonely, he can.. i don't know... just maybe.. ask? if i wanna hang out? because id.. say yes?" you say, looking at mike.

he blessed the skies above that you were actually confronting and he didn't have to face the awkward rejection that haunted him.

the kitchen was finally quiet for a moment, until abby break the silence.

"do it, do it, do it." she chants silently.

"would you.. wanna go out.. with me.?" mike said silently and awkwardly, cursing himself in his head for being so nervous when she literally confirmed she was down.

"sure, mike schmidt."

[desire-mona]

heard we were making house ocs and ive had a dingus floating around in my head since january so i FINALLY got around to actually making a proper ref sheet. i present my silliest

Dr. Nanette "Ninny" Amesbury :3

more under cut !

big warning lore n backstory n stuff is very bare bones and not all the way there cuz im #lazy

birthday is vague but lets go with ~35 circa s2

if i had a nickel for every oc i had who had absent parents and was raised catholic by their grandparents, id have two nickels. unintentional that it happened twice i sorta forgor the other one's lore for a bit and now its stuck so ummmmm sorry laney. wont be going into childhood bc i havent come up w that yet and honestly i dont care to!!! yada yada yada catholic guilt but not in the chase way bc she hasnt left the church n likely never will

ummmm relationship chart + template

lets just quick go over some relationship highlights cuz some are def more important than others

wilson: mr president a 4th ex wife has hit the james wilson. when were they married? ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 😁

but they were married for like. 3 years? YES it ended bc he cheated but nin also wasn't the best either her ass was literally never ever there she was ALWAYS at work (like more than normal doctor amounts of at work - only came home to sleep and even that was only 4x a week(also worked at a different hospital))

tw suicide for next part bee tee dub

a big part of the beginning of their relationship was (big surprise) wilson's attraction to what he THOUGHT was neediness but was literally just nin wanting (and trying) to kill herself lol. once the magic of all that went away (perceived independence thats rly just #bottling shit up) he was just kinda like oh :/ its not cool to have a mentally ill wife anymore :/ i was expecting ramona flowers :/ or whatever. so infidelity impact font, hijinks and moving away for [amount] years ensue before nin being hired at ppth as the head of pediatrics. brief fwb situation w wilson Again b4 she finds out shes a lesbian at the end of like. s2.

oh yeah she also tries to kill herself again once she figures it out (see catholic guilt mention) but its cool she lives

cuddy: GAAAAAYYYYY GAAAAYYYYYYY GAY!!!!! DR AMESBURY WANTS TO FUCK THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its one sided tho boooooo cuddys briefly like Wait ? just b4 nin moves away at the end of s6 roughly but shes already. thats done its not happening.

kutner: dont even fucking talk to me. i dont wanna talk about it. im gonna talk about it.

so kutner (like the slut that he is lowkey but society isnt ready for that) asks nin out just after he gets hired and shes like ermmmmmmmmmm! but sensing his loser aura she (still deeply closeted) is like hey haha i dont swing that way sorry !!!!!!! but its ok they become super mega best friends and get nerdy together

i like to think they listen to weird al together OH YEAH NINS THE BIGGEST WEIRD AL YANKOVIC FAN IN NEW JERSEY

and then nothing bad happens!

if youve seen this post about the little writing things kutner got after he croaked then hooray here's nanettes

they make me so fucking upset.

anyway as i stated above nin moves away after s6 for a bunch of reasons. 1) thanks obama 2) a big part of what contributed to her suicidal ideations n such was the fact that deep down she didnt ACTUALLY know what she wanted to do w her life. u may be like she doesnt. want to be a doctor ? NO she doesnt thats just what she did to get money to eventually do what she wants. whatever that is. something something feeling lost in life and unable to reach a goal when u dont even know what the goal is something something. also persistent depressive disorder but like spoon in kitchen.

idk what shes gonna end up doing after she moves but id imagine she shows up for house's funeral so i cant just be like lol nobody gets to know! im thinking painter but idk IDK guys her lore is ROUGH

thats it if u have questions ill answer thanks

[starabsol]

cs pride headcannons

happy pride month! this is to the gays, lesbians, queers, transgenders, nonbinaries, bisexuals, everyone!!!!! (except homophobes, get away) happy pride month and good job being so fruity! we love u ^_^

ok so basically i have headcanons for my fav pokemon characters, may drew harley n solidad but i never really did much with them but since its literally pride month right now i thought why not draw them? theyre more like chibi attempted weird ass doodles butttttttt

first up, of course, our baby drew.

theres smth about him that just screams transgender.. hes ftm (female to male) since he didnt feel right in his body, but doesnt mind presenting himself in a feminine way. demisexual also because i dont feel like he randomly falls in love with people unless they know them well and have a good bond! and he obviously doesnt care about anyones gender whatsoever, doesnt have a preference either.

he goes by he/they pronouns and would rather not be regarded by feminine names, though he himself doesnt really care about how he appears to others

if someone comes out to drew:

someone: “drew, i have to tell you something.. im lesbian.”

drew: “thats nice”

drew is neutral about this stuff. he simply doesnt mind that much. though inside, secretly, he is pretty proud of whoever comes out to him; he does care.

next up, may!

may is an ally, no doubt. she loves everyone as they are! i debated making her asexual for a hot second, but scrapped it later as i didnt really liked that for her :P

she goes by she/her! she respects everyones pronouns, and if unsure if what pronouns to use she always uses they/them to avoid mis pronouncing. always shows up at pride conventions!

if someone were to come out to may:

someone: “may.. i have to tell you something. im non-binary”

may: “OMG THAT IS SO COOL I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND PROUD OF YOU!!!!”

next up, our cunty harley!

hes bisexual and non-binary. he loves both women and men, and simply doesnt give a fuck about (his) gender. he goes by she/he/they pronouns since he really doesnt care what people regard him as. “gender doesnt matter honey!”

he doesnt mind looking feminine or masculine at all, so sometimes u see him skipping around in skirts and the other moment you see him in a suit. and honestly? we love that for him. pop off harley

if someone were to come out to harley:

someone: “hey, harley? can i tell you something? im gay.”

harley: “OOOOOO! so proud of you honey! welcome to the gays!”

and lastly, solidad!

shes a lesbian. i dont care what you have got to say, solidad is a lesbian. she loves women, she loves feminine people. shes also aromantic because i can make her aromantic. she naturally loves platonically, but she can love (and feel) romantically, just not that often.

she herself is also an ally, of course, everyone in these headcanons are, but she is an ally. she supports everyone the way they are, no matter their sexuality, gender, race, background, whatever. she loves everyone. n that goes for may drew and harley also! solidad would probably be the most calm if you were to come out to her, though.

if someone were to come out to solidad:

someone: “solidad? i wanted to tell you that im bisexual..”

solidad: “oh, that’s wonderful! congratulations. i am so proud of you for telling me.”

———————

happy pride month! make sure to love everyone the way they are. love isnt a choice, neither the way you were born or how you feel in your own body! youre good as u are!

im pretty much questioning myself, i mean, im sure im aroace but beside that? no clue. for now id just say im heterosexual, but i havent really fallen for people romantically or sexually so i dont know at all lol

school still isnt over, still have about a month left 💔 i hate the netherlands vacation time so much only 6 weeks for summer break is crazy

[cocoaletta]

realizing i never elaborated on this. so basically i thought reavers color scheme and fable 3 was odd cause white and black is an odd combo for steampunky colors esp if there isn’t a lot of brown. but they’re also too drab to be flamboyant reaver colors and like, it’s just a weird color combo. anyways i fell into a rabbit hole about colors in the victorian era and their common usages and white, black, and purple are all common mourning colors. sure i guess you could argue that these colors on the characters represent wealth and prestige but if i was reaver and the bestie died, id be dramatic as fuck about it too. anyways there’s a lot more under the cut so fuck it

disclaimer I know fable 3 isn’t explicitly set in the Victorian era but it takes a LOT of inspiration from early Victorian/Industrial era Britain, enough so that I feel its fair to interpret through that lens.

Reaver

Men’s wardrobes were often fairly muted with some browns allowed, and colors would differ depending on the period of mourning you were in (black> black and grey> black and white> black/white and purple> normal colors again)

also important to note that the mourning period would change based off of how close you were with the deceased. Mourning could be anywhere from a few months to a few years.

Black silk top hat with a seven inch crepe (the band on the hat) that is either black, grey or beige.

His clothes are all white with black trimmings which would have been common half mourning attire

ALSO his undershirt under his brown vest is black. Which is also just uncommon in the Victorian era and also in fable 3 lmao, no one fucking dresses like him

his cravat is also black which you literally do not wear unless you are in mourning. Its weird

Like sure you can say he wears white cause he’s a factory owner and is able to stay clean cause he’s rich, but who shows off their wealth in the dullest, most drab colors. All the other nobles walk around in the brightest, most vivid, eye assaulting color combinations, why is he different. Here are some examples of black and white half mourning and quarter mourning attire.

Most of the examples are women’s clothes because um, Victorian misogyny and women being expected to mourn longer while men were expected to be breadwinners and provide for their families. But if you read through old magazines and guides from the time you’ll find that men also wore similar clothes made with the same colors and materials, just usually for a shorter period of time.

In conclusion you can interpret this as however you like but personally I like this idea cause his clothes are just so ugly otherwise.

Little bonus to talk about the HOBW and Logan because they both wear purple and you could fairly interpret that as “oh those are royal colors” “purple is meant to be a neutral color opposed to blue or red”. But look.

Purple, specifically purples with white were often worn by the children of the deceased while in mourning as drab colors would raise an ‘unpleasant child’.

[i-love-river-song]

i started rewatching my hero academia and omgggggg 10 year old me had the right idea when they started watching it this shit is so banging i have cried several times probably for a second time over the same scenes but im only on season 4 and thats as far as i got before i fell off it and im already worried for the future of the series as in the stuff thats already come out bc i realllyyyyyyy like the high school stuff and i just want to read some old tododeku or kiribaku or bakudeku fanfiction set in the summer camp they went to in season 3 but im scared of being spoiled and idk what the fandoms like anymore, it was so much fucking fun back in its prime as i would call it but idk what going on in the fandom anymore what if its full of gross people still and can you tell that im in a really weird place right now and totally crying whilst listening to all the intros(only season 1 to 3s intros tho they bring the most nostalgia) goddamn i never thought id come back to this show let alone cry about it but yeah if you read all of this i BEG of you DO NOT SPOIL anything from season 5 onwards bc i HAVE NOT WATCHED IT and i will be very upset if you ruin it for me, and i havent read the manga so dont think that all the stuff that happens in it past the tv show is common knowledge

[victorspindrop]

Music Artists I think the HOA Characters (Season 1 Specifically) would listen to!

Note: First head canon type thing I am putting on here (yay!). This is something I have thought a lot just myself in my lonesome so Id thought Id share it here! If you have any other ideas of what certain characters would listen to I would love to hear!

Nina

-> I think we as a fandom have collectively decided that Nina would 100% be a swiftie (and I agree). Her favorite album would be either Speak Now or Folklore, however, her fav song would probs be "London Boy" off of the Lover album though (for obvious reasons)

-> I can see her listening to some other softer artists like beabadobee, Clairo, and Boygenius (shes a softie at heart what can I say)

-> "All American Bitch" by Olivia Rodrigo is her confidence booster song for sure

-> Her and Amber have 2000-2010's pop music dance parties in their room together (which make annoy some of the housemates from them jumping around and dancing; also get in trouble with Victor about it but its worth it to them)

->Ok I need you guys to HEAR ME OUT with this one, but...Nina definitely is a little (just a little bit) of a theatre kid. I mean let's be real, she wrote an entire play for the school AND performed in it,,,my girl def is a little bit of a theatre girl. So with that being said, she listens to some show tunes from musicals (mostly Waitress and Mamma Mia)

Amber

-> She would so be a Y2k pop listening type of girl

-> Favorite songs would be "Rich Girl" by Gwen Stefani, "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga, HEAVY ON "Stars are Blind" by Paris Hilton!!!!!!

-> Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Gwen Stefani, Beyonce, if its an iconic pop girl, she listens to them

-> Marina and the Diamonds. IDK IT JUST MAKES SO MUCH SENSE TO ME I CANNOT EXPLAIN. Some of her songs just give that "it girl" energy and if there is an "it girl" of the Anubis house its miss Amber Millington. "Bubblegum Bitch" is blasted in her car with the top down (because she def has a convertible and its pink)

-> Ariana Grande stan. Probably had a stroke when Ariana came out with a makeup line and bought ALL OF IT.

Fabian

-> Fabian def listens to alternative music old and new.

->LOVES THE SMITHS! Like its almost the only thing he listens to

-> Favorite songs by the Smiths include "There is a Light that Never Goes Out" and "Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want"

-> Listens to the Arctic Monkeys for sure

-> Some other artists he listens to are Radiohead, The Cranberries, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, and TV Girl.

-> Fabian is my favorite awkward loser boy... he listens to Weezer

Patricia

-> Didn't Alfie call her like a "Punk rock/goth vixen" or something like that? (I can't remember the quote or the episode it is in for the life of me)

-> Regardless of whatever the quote was, this is our punk rock alternative queen right here

-> PARAMORE SHE LIKES PARAMORE (has a crush on Hayley Williams because I said so)

-> Had a Panic At the Disco and FallOutBoy phase for sure

-> Listens to the Smiths a little bit (because Fabian showed her some songs)

-> Also listens to some metal rock, loves Poppy and always liked her weird concepts

Alfie

-> Alfie listens to anything and everything I feel like

-> alternative, pop, rock, jazz, electronic, DISCO, hell even fucking dubstep.

-> If he likes it, that's all that matters to him. He doesn't care about the genre or style of music it is

-> I feel he would listen to a lot of artists from the 70s and 80s (idk if that's because of Jeromes quote about him being stuck in the 80s but it would make sense!)

->Loves ABBA, BeesGees, Earth Wind and Fire, and WHAM

-> When "Lets Groove" by Earth Wind and Fire was trending on tiktok, he played it every chance he could. That song has been banned from the house since.

Jerome

-> Like Fabian, he's an Arctic Monkeys fan

-> ADVID LISTENER OF I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

-> Favorite song by IDKHBTFM is Choke

-> I feel like he would also love Childish Gambino idk why I just feels right

-> Secretly listens to Mitski. That boy has been traumatized even BEFORE he was at Anubis, he deserves to cry to Mitski

-> The Neighborhood is a favorite of his (especially their song Daddy Issues because of,,, obvious reasons) Second favorite song of theirs would be Single (if you haven't heard that song highly recommend)

-> Hozier feels right for him idk

Joy

-> I think as a fandom we have concluded that she is also a swiftie. Her favorite album is Midnights and Reputation imo

-> HEAVY ON OLIVIA RODRIGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-> The Sour album was life changing for her (same can be said for Guts)

-> Literally her top songs of the year were all from the album. Jealously Jealousy, Favorite Crime, Hope You're Happy, Good for You to be specific

-> I can see her being a Harry fan

-> Definitely forced Patricia to go to Love on Tour (Patricia liked it, but she definitely won't tell you that)

-> She was a One Directioner so naturally, the love carried on into the members solo careers (had to miss class when Zayn left)

Mara

-> LAUFEY LAUFEY LAUFEY LAUFEY LAUFEY!!!!!!!

-> Also just listens to old Frank Sinatra, Doris Day, Dean Martin

-> Listened to 5SOS during her brief "bad girl" era to help prove her point but she actually ended up really liking them!

Mick

-> Ed Sheeran and Jojo Siwa

*AUTHOR NOTE* I really hope you guys enjoyed this! Tbh it took a while because a few were tricky for me. Please fell free let me know if you have any you would add. Sorry some descriptions are longer than others

[ikaishere]

so, about the hyrule and legend modern!au meetup story...... its the stupidest thing I ever came up with, so proud of myself. have a short drabble!

"No, but Wild, he is a total creep though! Wait, hold on. I will call you back in a sec."

There he was again. The same customer that has been coming to this godforsaken gas station, that Hyrule worked at, to get hot dogs in the middle of the night, on random days, for the past four months.  At this point, he could count this person as one of the very few constants in his life. Every week he was sure the sun would still be shining, Karens would scream at his coworkers, and the hotdog customer would never fail to appear.

He didn't even know their name! All he knew about them was their appearance, the sauce they always chose, and a person named "Ravio" they would sometimes be on the phone with. Of all the weird things he would expect, he certainly did not expect the parasocial attachment to the hotdog customer (supposedly, that was their name now…). If he focused too much on it, he would probably understand he would actually get worried if a week would pass and the person would not show up. But now it was not the time to focus on it. Now he had a customer. “Hello, what can I help you with?” He mumbled his usual greetings, a little less cheerful than usual. It was past midnight, after all. Instead of a “Hi” or even a “Good night”, a pack of baby diapers was put on the counter. Who the heck buys baby diapers, at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, at midnight- Of course the fucking hotdog customer. Of course, it was them. “Uh- the usual to go with it?” Hyrule asked, a bit awkwardly. They looked a bit too young to be having a kid, but then who was he to judge it? It did not even have to be their kid. “The usual?” They asked as if it was the weirdest thing they’d ever asked. “What do you mean, the usual?” “The usual you buy here at least once a week since… 4 months?” Hyrule raised an eyebrow, resisting the urge to giggle silently. They looked so lost. “I mean- yeah. The usual. Thank you.” They smiled fondly, looking around at whatever the store had to offer. “Do you maybe have painkillers? Or like- a chocolate?”

“That’s a… weird variety.” Hyrule giggled, finally.

“Hey! I wanted to be a good boyfriend. Painkillers will be useful, and I mean, chocolate would cheer me up if id menstruate. I think”

“Wait. Menstruate- are you buying baby diapers for a menstruating person?” There it was, the breaking point. He burst out laughing, behind the counter of a gas station store, in front of a random stranger - or well, not random. The hotdog customer.

“What? No! I-” the person looked over the counter, blushing almost immediately. “Fuck. Do you have sanitary pads as well, then? Stop laughing!”

“I’m sorry, I’m- oh my god, if my manager saw that, I’d be so fired-” Hyrule finally calmed down a little, getting all three things they asked for from the shelves, and scanning them when he was back at his place. “You just- you come in here, at goddess forbidden hours, only to buy a hotdog. And now you- Apologies. I’m done.”

“No- you are right. That’s fucking weird.” they laughed quietly as well “I just always came here after work, and there are days when I work over hours, so, yeah. And now my partner asked me to get him pads, and god damn, that looks like I'm a guy who has never seen sanitary products- it’s not like that, promise.”

“Hey! Not judging, I get it. Kind of you to think abut ways to make them comfortable. It’s the thought that matter.” his voice went soft, as he was still preparing the goddess-damned hotdog. For a while silence filled the room in between them, but all of the sudden, it seemed like courage struck both of them at the very same moment.

“What’s your name?” they both asked at the same time, laughing loudly as their eyes locked together.

That began a beautiful friendship, as they would later learn. Even if Legend would ever deny that he mistook baby diapers for sanitary pads, and even if Hyrule claimed it was several hours later than it actually happened.

[nerves-nebula]

Sorry bout this thing but I kinda wanted to tell my thoughts about your stuff. Im kind of hoping this will get drowned in your inbox honestly, since this is just a really long unsolicited rant of mine.

Sometimes when i scroll through your account and I encounter csa, incest and mentions of suicide in your posts I get uncomfortable but then I remember that one phrase that goes something like "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted" and I just feel kinda bad bout myself.

When I was a kid my nannys bf forced me to kiss him in the lips whenever we met. I was 6. It was uncomfortable. I never did tell my nanny about it. My parents are both police people and my mother had long explained the concept of rape and how unconsensual touch is bad and you shouldnt allow that but something prevented me from telling anyone what was happening. I dont know why. I know they would immiedietly jail that guy if they did but somehow it felt like no one would believe me. I never told them until now, then when I was what, 6-8 years old? I cant even remember. Yeah somewhere around that, he molested me when my nanny was few feet away and asleep and for the next 4 years of my life i felt dirty. Desecrated. Stupid. I couldnt even look down at my naked body when i shower back then, but somehow I managed to trudge on living by trying to forget the fact it happened. Its been 8 years since Ive last seen him. Ive told anyone who I knew who doesnt care enough to be friends with me but cared enough to listen about it but my Parents are none the wiser and i plan on keeping it that way.

Also. Im a year away from being legal now. Ive thought about killing myself or just generally not wanting to exist anymore many times since then, cuz lifes equipped with motolov cocktails of "get fucked dumbass" and i somehow managed to get a coupon for at least a million of them.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

Coming back to the phrase i mentioned earlier, it feels weird whenever i feel something similar to the feeling of being triggered while looking at csa being depicted. By definition, i would be considered a victim, and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont. I see your art and it guts me. It guts me and the fact that it does also guts me, because what does that mean? I am supposed to be the comforted? Despite the fact that I was taken advantage of as a child and spent night after might thinking how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equiped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children? So i do I correspond more with those who are defined as comforted then, was i not disturbed after all? Was i victimizing myself all along? Am I a bad person for thinking i was? No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

And then it repeats.

I still go through your blog because well, i love tmnt, i love your artstyle, i love the way you tell stories, I love how you dont sugar coat csa, incest and other darker topics like body horror, erotism and sadism, i hate how much it haunts me, i love the fact i can relate, i hate how much you hurt them, i love the fact that you dont hold back, i love how you show the ugly sides of healing, i love how you depict how much people can change and struggle. Its comforting to me. Its discomforting to me. I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

And i like it. I like it somehow, like taking a nice smoke break when you have mild asthma, but like, better. Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

But yeah. Tldr. Sorry for the trauma dump and your art makes me feel complicated. Its neat 👍

lot to reply to here! also, unfortunately for you, i check my inbox obsessively and dont get nearly as many asks as you seem to believe i do.

so firstly, no snappy saying is meant to encompass all of human experience, and you certainly shouldn't judge yourself for not fitting into it. easier said than done, i know, but still. i'm gonna try to address some things here, not gonna touch on all of it, but just know that i appreciate you sitting down to write me this.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

it made me smile, but i laughed at this, because it's a very sweet look into you writing this. puts into perspective how, even though this is public, it was written TO me. like a letter in victorian times or something. that's sweet, i like that.

and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont.

you're making a lot of assumptions here that are kind of wild in that "this thought process was clearly designed by your mind to upset you specifically" sort of way. I mean, would you say this to literally anyone else when they feel uncomfortable or triggered about viewing media that relates to their trauma? There's really no telling what a survivor will feel comforted by and you aren't Doing It Wrong by having a different reaction.

there's a reason i tag it as "csa tw" and that's so people can AVOID it as well as search it up.

how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equipped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children?

i know you recognize at the end of the thought process that this is not true, but i feel the need to reiterate: there is no such thing as being less vulnerable than other children through your own actions. you can try to equip kids with knowledge that might protect them, but that doesn't make them any less vulnerable.

my dad told me about rape and molestation all the time, but he never accounted for the kinds of scenarios i was actually the most likely to fall victim to, partly because i don't think he actually knew much about childhood sexual abuse, and partly because he was more obsessed with the idea of me being kidnapped and raped/murdered than he was about forms of sexual abuse he'd consider more "mild"

No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

i can't answer that one, unfortunately. personally, i like to feel gutted, it's cathartic to me. might be something like that to you, based on how you go on to describe it, but you might also be doing some kinda self harm.

I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

saaaaame. i triggered myself into a breakdown in class once cuz i'd been reading fucked fanfiction before class and i got SAD lol.

Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

we are shaking hands over this.

anywho, no need to apologize! i am glad, if nothing else, to provide you with a strange and upsetting experience that is not entirely bad.

I really do adore hearing how my stuff makes people feel. it's like, a solid one third of the reason i do this. i still make stuff that doesn't exist to be shown off but WOW showing shit off and getting a response feels FANTASTIC. like, i'm in your head now!! you have been CHANGED by my ART. it's maybe the best part of being alive.

[c0tards--s0luti0n]

bi people cant flirt normally its always some shit like "why did i come back here?" "to uh. drink?" "back to hatchetfield. i spent the first 18 years if my life trying to get out of this place, shouldve just stayed in guatemala. i mean yeah theyve got volcanoes and coatimundis everywhere but uh-" "whats a coatimundi?" "oh, its like a little raccoon thing. they get into shit, people hate em, but at least they dont sing and dance" "so is that was drove you back to hatchetfield? coatimundis, up in your shit?" "no, no, it was uh my sister, jane. she was the good one. she had this um, lisa frank binder when she was little where she mapped out her entire life and i swear to god she stuck to it. bullet point by bullet point, it was like job, husband, house, kids, and you know when one sisters so on top of her game it kinda demands that the other one be a total fuck up, right?" "what is yin without yang?" "thats what im saying! yeah man, she was off doing life and i was doing, something else. backpacking mostly, and she would call me and you know, invite me home for big events, you know, weddings, baby showers, id always say oh, sorry ill catch the next one! but um, then when i got the invitation to her funeral i was like oh, there wont be a next one." "oh- im sorry." "hey, you didnt crash into her car. anyway, uh, its weird growing up in someone elses shadow because when theyre gone the light shines on you for the first time, and it does not look good. so, there i was, 30, with no roots anywhere except hatchetfield, so i thought uh, well im gonna make something of myself, you know do something my sister would be proud of, enroll in a community college, study botany, im gonna start a pot farm." "oh. did your sister smoke a lot of pot?" "no, but weed's the future, its gonna be legal nationwide soon, bet you any money! not that it matters anymore. man, my whole life my one goal was to avoid dying in hatchetfield and, here we are." "hey, it could be worse. you could be dying in clivesdale." "fuck clivesdale!" "fuck em!" "you know uh, all things considered, i like hatchetfield. yeah, been here my whole life, born and bred. never wanted to leave, still dont." "hey, we're the same age, how come i never knew you in highschool?" "you probably went to hatchetfield high, i went to sycamore." "fuckin timberwolves! we hated you guys!" "we hated ourselves! so uh, back at beanies you said you were in your highschool production of brigadoon?" "hey, i was bonnie jean!" "that was 2003 right? i actually saw you in brigadoon." "no shit!" "yes shit! yeah! uh, we didnt have a theatre program in our school, so i guess to make us feel like crap they bused us over to watch your show. it was the first musical i ever saw. i hated it. thats probably the start of my whole thing, youre the reason i dont like musicals!" "woah, thats like your origin story." "yeah!" "so i guess im the supervillain?" "i dont think of you like that at all emma."

[dangerousstrawberryshark]

This is made for POC readers, I didn’t wanna post this to my actual account (I have a following but I get anxiety, so here u go)

You and Steve had arrived at the (ethinicity/country name) store, you had (ethnic meal) on mind, your mom had always made it and you loved it, so you thought you’d make her recipe for it.

Steve was horrified. Why? Because he felt so out of place, everyone here looked and acted like you, and he felt as if he was a dead patch of grass in a luscious field of green. He read the english lettering on the stores front. Only to see the foreign lettering under it. He looked to his left and looked at you, brushing his hand into yours signifying he wanted you to hold it. Once you held his hand he let out a breath of relief.

Upon entering, you knew that the people in the store wouldnt agree with you, a male, dating another man, especially because he was white but you really didnt care, you were strong, and steve was a fucking monster so you didnt realy mind the stares. you made your way down the aisles, steve staying very close to you, you really didnt know why he was acting so weird, but whatever.

You got to the fridges to grab some of the cold items and made you way to leave, but you stopped, you saw steve, looking puzzled as ever, staring at a packet of rice, the packet had a picture of the rice in an example meal, and was in (language).

“y/n…”

“yes stevie”

“this is rice right? or does that whole meal come in the packet?” he asked, it took you a minute to decide if he was joking around or if he was being serious but after a couple of seconds of steve staring at you and waiting for a response. you responded

“no baby, its just the rice, the meal youre looking at is like an example to show how you can enjoy the rice.”

it was common for your (ethincity)’s packaging to have example meals on them

steve nodded and continued walking through the store with you. You answered his questions, and kept note of the cute stares of confusion he had when looking at some items. Eventually you made it to the sweets isle, just as a little treat for the both of you. Steve’s eyes lit up at the sight of sweet delights on the packs in the aisle, he could see some chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry flavored things, you could see he wanted to get something, so you said

“here, pick something you think youd like and ill let you know if we should try it”

“aw have you tried all of these?”

“most of them yes, but there are some i havent tried”

“well… what about this one?”

steve pointed at a (sweet) packet, it had (ingredients) and looked really good, there was even a little kid in the picture on the packet smiling with it in their hand

“oh ive actually never tried this? yeah we should get it, it looks nice”

you got one packet to split in the car and you both made your way to the registers, you exchanged days with the cashier, smiling at them once you departed from the line, appreciating the comment said in (your language) about how much of a good catch you got with steve (you knew that)

“what did they say?

“oh they said (repeat what cashier said), which means “you did good with him, congrats” you smiled, which caused steve to also smile

“wait babe why were you acting so weird, like you were nervous to be in the store?”

“well, i felt out of place… heh, like when does some random white boy walk in there looking for things to buy, and also i was scared to see if people were going to look at us weirdly”

“babe… id kill them ‘a’… and ‘b’, youd squash them all, plus… you have me, dont feel like youre out of place when you enter a (ethnicity/country/race) store… and we need to do this again it was so cute seeing you confused and curious”

steve smiled in embarassment and went to open the sweet. as he opened it you both saw the (coating) start to appear in the packaging

you gasped and said

“ohhhh! i would always see (relative) eat this back home! we have to try it baby”

steve nodded and split the sweet in two, handing you one

“okay, 3… 2… 1…” steve counted down as you both tried it at the same time, steves eyes went wide for a second, it was definently different from american sweets, much richer, and it was so good, he looked at you and he saw you had a smile on your face as you chewed

“it reminds me of home” you smiled, steve smiled back as he looked at the rest of the sweets in the packet,

“you wanna eat the rest of these and then go home?” steve asked, you nodded and you both ate the sweets in harmony and eventually made your way back home

You couldnt wait to see steves reaction to the meal you were about to make for dinner tonight

I love it! I can already imagine Steve’s confused face.

[recs-and-discoveries]

Sunday, July 28, 2024

I in fact did do my knitting while watching a movie situation! I know this is incredible popular in knitting circles, but I'm not too much of a movie watcher most of the time. I want to get more into watching movies instead of scrolling on YT shorts because my screen time Is Not It.

I got all twenty rows in (which is my minimum daily amount for the next week) and that comes to ~5cm. The next "milestone" for the sleeves (ie the part before the increase) is 10 cm, which makes this project feel a lot more doable. For context the end sleeve length (before the cap) is 43 cm, which is 3-4 days worth of knitting for me.

I watched A Quiet Place: Day One yesterday and let me tell you I have THOUGHTS. Wonderful movie that I'd recommend, a solid 8/10. Spoilers below the cut!

A Quiet Place: Day One Thoughts

In order to make this vaguely understandable, I'm going to bullet point these rambles

Direct Movie Response

28:40 and 1:01:30 are both absolutely killer shots

I love that more movies are moving away from MCU franchise and are turning towards "here's a cool concept, lets do it in a different way" (looking at you knives out)

I love the different forms of community in this movie!!

Sam was consistently a form of community to others while others formed community with her! her nurse looked so happy to know she was alive and constantly went out of his way to protect her. The black family helped with nursing Sam the first time she passed out. Someone in that first camp rescued same cat. Sam showed kindness to the children hiding under the waterfall. and of course Eric, someone with (im going to assume) some level of anxiety. There were several times where he actively Brought Sam's life in danger! but she still kept him around

And in turn, Eric showed kindness by going out of his way to get Sam's medication and save her cat

Continuing community is the scene were all the New Yorker's were pouring out in droves to the boats, which resulted in massacre. I had a feeling, because that many people is never a good sign, but what I want to emphasize was the protection of disabled people, particularly the man in the wheelchair. Many of these people wouldn’t makeup a top survival team in an apocalypse, but we need to keep them around because they jive us hope (which ill get back to)

And if we’re going to mention community in this movie, I obvi have to highlight Eric's willingness to go with Sam to patsy’s and learn more about her. Their meeting was the pinnacle of community building. He was scared and lost and needed connection, so he clung onto the first person who was able to provide that

And he goes above and beyond! He brings light into Sam's world when patsy’s is burnt down by preforming their silent magic show, which was such a beautiful scene (and not to mention finding pizza for her, which has my whole heart)

In relation to movie lore, I was interested to see the weird things the monsters were eating and I'm wondering if it’ll come back later. I also appreciate this film address the criticism people had to the water situation; the monsters are scared of it! It kills them so very quickly that it makes sense why they’d avoid the sound

The final thing to say is that there are some thing about this movie that don’t 100% make sense. Like how the fuck did the cat survive all this time? No idea! Cats aren’t inherently quiet creatures, and there were MANY times where he could have (or logically should have) died and he just. Didn’t

Connection to Other Things

Trauma and Noise: Another point id like to mention is trauma and its connection to sound. When we as humans are upset, we sob, we yell, we cry, we stamp up and down, we slam doors, we make noise. it almost feels as chaotic as how our brains feel, a way to physically embody the pain we feel. So to remove the ability to make noise is so painful. People are dealing with constant loss and pain but they have to stay quiet in order to survive. I would loose my mind

Palestine: When it came to the original crashing of meteorites (or whatever they were, which ill return to), all I could think of was the people of Palestine, along with all the other people of the world that are being bombed. It is evil that this genocide is continuing. Generally speaking, I’ve tried to keep Tumblr as a mental break while my other forms of social media cover Palestinian activism, but I would be remiss to not mention it. Not to mention the dystopia ass world we live in where the president of a nation committing genocide gets a standing ovation from Americas leaders??? It makes me want to burn the world down

Leaving Behind: Actual final point is the boat scene. There are 8 million people living in New York with around 1.6 million being from the city (yes I googled) and all that's really left are the people on the boat. What also gets me is that many of those people may not be native New Yorkers. Many people commute to New York or fly in for vacation. Not to mention how many people died as a side effect of buildings crashing and train cars being blocked and young or old people being left behind, etc etc. It is quite a sad thing to see

Music

I said this at the end of last week, but I've been listening to some emo music this week! All the songs that I've ended up adding to my playlist are pretty classic, but I suppose they're classic for a reason.

Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

Somebody Told Me by The Killers

American Idiot by Green Day

Mr. Brightside by the Killers

The music genre for next week is: Russian Romance!

To Dos

☐ next khan academy lesson

☐ next pimsleur lesson

☐ 2 repeats knitting

☐ reading!

☐ smart notes

☐ roommate email

☐ job form

☐ respond to insta convo