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#ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY DUMBASSES
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merlin but merthur is dating except merlin doesn’t realize that their hand holding, cuddling, gift giving relationship is romantic until he fixes arthur’s crown and arthur leans down and kisses him and he’s like oh
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beatcroc · 11 days
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what kind of frivolity would you engage in, mecha?
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#mecha sonic#scrapnik mecha sonic#scrapnik island#sonic fanart#sonic fandom#arting#msab#good MORNING. i have given myself many emotions about mecha's big stupid cape. like a fool. such is the way i suppose#god ive been dying to get to this one. do you get it. do you understand#victories; if not on your own terms. achievements; if not the ones you thought you wanted. childhood dreams that never die.#which on that note yeah this is also my favorite one for showing eggman-era mecha as like#''yeah hes hes the most arrogant and murderous jackass on the planet but hes also like 17.''#& therefore kind of a lame little nerd by default. he thinks capes are sooooooo coool#we were all stupid kids once but sometimes u get older and u still wanna paint your house purple. and sometimes u still want a cool cape#it occurs to me that actual 17-year-olds may see this and to that i say: sorry. you guys are fine do ya thang.#its just that im 29 and have grey hair and shit so i have a certain Perspective on being 17 is all. & scrapnik mecha is like mid-30's to me#i knoooowwww he loves his big stupid cape so much. look at the refsheets with his dumbass spines poking holes through the the hood#tell me he has not made a COMMITMENT to wearing that hood despite being built in a way that makes that incredibly inconvenient#u look at nathalie fourdraine's christmas scrapniks post and tell me he isnt having so much fun#being all decorated and swishing around in that Even Bigger And Stupider Cape & shawl w/ his friends#hes so funny for that he's generally such a serious kinda character but on god he does also love some showmanship and flashiness.#i want to make it clear btw i also think capes are awesome i literally cosplay a guy with Two [2] capes.#& mecha is basically the coolest ever. but also hes still funny for that
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toytulini · 1 year
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gatekeeping weirdness now? yall have the energy for this? silly goose behavior(derogatory and dismissive) for sure
#toy txt post#ive seen 2 posts today im not interacting with#one was less bad but still#the other one was hilariously bad#im vagueing it#it was like wah! fucking POSERS are PRETENDING to be weird by ACTIVELY pursuing interests and hobbies that make someone considered weird!#and having dyed hair! bluh! always with the dyed hair hate like really. its not For you but die mad i guess.#anyway if youre that concerned about other ppl actively pursuing hobbies that get them labelled weird (for i guess. the purpose. of being#percieved as weird? whether or not they enjoy the hobby? fascinating behavior if so. pretty weird even id s-*gunshot*#anyway if youre that concerned about that vs like idk....whatever 'organically' weird ppl are. in contrast to that. i gotta say#im no expert but that does sound like maybe you are in fact the poser bro. also this is so fucking funny and stupid god#first of all. pretending to be weird by displaying interests in weird hobbies and fashion even tho deep down im a normal fucking square and#i just hate these weird hobbies and aesthetics so much but like listen i Gotta. for the Weirdness Clout(tm). definitely a thing that#meaningfully exists and makes a ton of sense to measure someone against#dont you know youre only a true weirdo if you dont have any interest in looking like a freak and putting effort into your weird freak#aesthetic. what insane fucking discourse.#like first of all dumbass this shit is made up. normal isnt real it doesnt exist. normal people are fucking weird. weirdness is normal#weirdness is also a construct that is defined in opposition to the unachievable normalcy. many ppl are for the most part 'normal'#with little regular quirks and then there are every so often weird freaks who are very much outside of normal#and thats generally fine although society generally does punish those who do not strive for normalcy. you are supposed to try to appear#normal at all costs or you are punished. etc. its late i just got home from work im not getting into this more#tldw(too long didnt write): yall gotta chill you got your head way too far up your own ass if you are legitimately concerned about#'normal' people 'pretending' to be weird. thats not a problem its fine calm down holy fuck.#also. also. to the less bad one:#'you cant all have been weird little girls' are you accounting for the selection bias of this website targeting the deomgraphic of ppl#who were weird little girls? chill. its the weird little kids grown up to be weird little adults website and youre shocked? really?
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whilomm · 8 months
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i keep looking at my calendar and seeing top surgery like a week away and theres Excitement and Anxiety and Fear that something will fuck it up and also oh yeah fck i havent even started my fundraiser thing i was hoping to do shit i should get that set up and OH FUCK ITS ONLY 8 DAYS AWAY JESUS CHRIST AAAAA
#buzzy#trans#for ref im not really sure if im gonna need the fundraiser bc itll probs depend on How Insurance Goes and i might not find that out#til afterward just bc. surgery was scheduled 60 days and insurance auth is supposed to be 90 ig??#so. if insurance goes well then outta pocket might be fine but if it Does Not then it Might Not#but idk am i gonna have to wait a month after to find that out?? maybe#but my plan was just like. say fuck it do the fundraiser and if i end up not needing the money then ill just pass on the extra#to other top surgery funds#but also goddd its gonna be Work to get it set up#and oc what if it doesnt go well what if no one goes for it#and also what if lawsuit#i dont think anything im doing can be considered legally binding if i mark it as a Novelty Item but still hmmmmm#like i think i got my legal bases covered maybe??#but Maybe Not#if anyone is a lawyer or knows a lawyer that can just listen to my dumbass idea and tell me if its legally dubious lemme kno#anyway i should probably actually get that shit set up tomorrow. maybe or maybe not launch it and hope ppl think its funny#funny enough to buy em#and hope i dont have to change the KERNING ANOTHER 20 TIMES!!!#anyway i will be Explicitly Saying that the backup for the fundraiser is 'if i end up not needing it ill pass it on' but yea#...also thinking about truing to mail 350 letters after surgery on the off chance it does in fact Get Big is.#eh might as well torture myself a little. as a treat.#WAIT WHAT IF I CANT LIFT MY ARMS WELL ENOUGH TO KISS W TOUNGE#'disclaimer: kisses w tongue may require extra processing time if my arms dont fucking work'
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violexides · 2 years
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i have so many neat articulated thoughts on so many issues it is a shame that i accidentally convinced everyone i know in my personal life that i am extremely stupid in order to shield myself from failure and boost other people’s ego 👍
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davestrider · 2 years
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i cant believe apple just decided to charge me twenty fucking dollars as soon as i bought these checkmarks what in fucks sake
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dove-tears · 1 year
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since when tf did youtube start giving you strikes for playlists lmao????
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star-girl69 · 9 months
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Music To Watch Girls To
Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader
—-
sypnosis: is it wrong to be obsessed with clarisse? obviously not!!
a/n: i cant just write a drabble what is wrong w me it’s always gotta be a full fledged fic damn anyways i don’t like this one that much so don’t crucify me, but i hope you all enjoy!!
Music To Watch Boys To - Lana Del Rey
warnings: FRIENDS TO LOVERS GOOD LORD, all clarisse know is be mean to her friends, like girls, and lie, reader is a little insane this time…., it’s not watching clarisse train bc i got struck with inspo but you all will like it dw, there’s still muscles and watching clarisse fight, swearing, violence, mentions of weapons, reader is an honorary ares cabin member bc i think it’s cute and i do what i want, y/n gets hurt like 20 times ITS FOR THE PLOT OK, kissing!!!!, like angst for half a sec not rly tho, tell me if i missed anything!!
—-
The only word you think of when you think of Clarisse is fuck.
It describes your feelings about her so accurately. The first time you saw her, you knew you had to have this girl. And the first time you heard her talk, she was calling some Hephaestus kid a dumbass for not fixing a dent in her armor correctly.
She was an asshole, a bully, whatever, and she was also the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. But, thank the Gods you became close friends with her brother Matty, and then Carrie, and then you practically knew everyone in the Ares cabin like your own siblings.
Even just friendship with Ares kids is an intense rollercoaster.
They admired your for your deadly skill with a bow, a few of them even openly claiming you were probably the best at camp. They were loyal and fierce, protective, funny and everything you could want in a replacement family. Your mortal parent went down a dark road after your godly parent went back to Olympus, and you had never felt that love that everyone craved.
Clarisse hated you at first, like she does everyone, until one day at the bonfire you were sitting with her and a few of her siblings, the fire was hot and it was never the same. You still remember her eyes on you, feeling intoxicated under the moon. Besides, the nights are made for secrets.
And it became a tradition.
You would look at each other next to the fire, and never speak of it again.
The rest of the time, she was like any friend. That same loyalty, focus, but sometimes you could swear she seemed to look a little longer.
After the arrival of Percy Jackson, Clarisse was especially on edge. She was supposed to be training, but she was instead sulking and ranting to Matty and Carrie.
“And he really thinks he killed that Minotaur? Doesn’t matter. That’s what everyone else thinks.”
“Talking about the new kid?” you ask, sitting on top of the picnic table next to their cabin.
“Oh, yeah,” Carrie mumbles. “Talking all about the new kid.”
Clarisse stops her angry pacing to send her a harsh glare.
“He’s just a baby, Clarisse.”
She slams her hand down on the table next to you, pointing her finger in your face.
“He’s a liar,” she hisses. “I’m gonna make him admit it.”
“Hm, okay,” you say, pressing her foot against her stomach and pushing her back. “And that’s totally logical. But have you considered that he actually killed the Minotaur?”
“I’ll punch you.”
“Oh, you love me, Clarisse,” you smile, sweeping your arms out in a big circle. “I’m the brightest part of your day.”
She glares at you.
Matty coughs to hide a laugh.
“Just ignore him!” you say. “I don’t get why you’re so obsessed over him anyways.”
“I’m not explaining myself to you,” she huffs, stubborn as ever.
“Okay, Clarisse,” you say, drawing out the words.
You miss Carrie and Matty shooting each other looks.
—-
Chiron announces the next capture the flag game later that day, and the next morning you’re heading off to the Ares cabin with your bow and armor in tow.
You walk in. They’re all adjusting their armor, polishing their weapons. A few smile at you and wave, but you head straight towards the back. Clarisse is there, helping some of her younger siblings pick out weapons from the secret weapons stash the Ares kids have curated over the years.
It’s Danny’s first game. He’s only twelve.
She looks up at you for a moment, which is about as much acknowledgment as you’re gonna get. You sit at the end of someone’s empty bed, right next to Danny.
“How you feelin’?” you ask. His face is twisted into a stone cold mask.
“Excited,” he says, like he practiced it in the mirror.
“Well, I’m scared.”
He looks at you and frowns.
“You’re the best archer in camp. Matty says so.”
You shrug. “I may be the best archer, but I’m nowhere near the best fighter.”
He nods, thinking hard like the whole world is suddenly starting to make sense.
“Hey, if I promise to keep a look out for you from the trees- will you watch out for me on the ground?”
He doesn’t need your assurance. He’s a child of Ares, they’re prebuilt with the lust for battle. But you know how to play all of them like a fiddle. They like feeling important, and he’s only twelve. It doesn’t hurt you to give this to him.
You stick out your hand and he grabs it.
“Deal.”
“Deal.”
“Y/N,” Clarisse says. You realize she’s been standing there for a while. “Are you here to distract everyone or for a reason?”
“You know, I would welcome you into my cabin warmly.”
Her face remains stone cold. Danny runs off. Clarisse can be some sort of halfway nice, but rarely, and most of the time everyone just knows her cruel words, her ruthless tactics in battle, and her misleading words and smiles.
“You’re no fun,” you pout.
“You’re the one who sticks around. No one’s holding you hostage- you can leave.”
“I need a dagger.”
“Oh,” she says, blinking. “Wow, you actually came here for something? What happened to yours?”
“Broke,” you shrug. “The handle fell off. Weird, whatever.”
She hums, looking through the daggers hung on the wall. “This one.”
She hands it to you. It’s similar to your old dagger, except a lot sharper and a lot more sturdy. But it’s the same style you’re used to. You wonder if she knows that or not- Ares kids do notice everything.
But for Clarisse to actually do something like that with intention is rare.
“I like it,” you say. “Thanks!”
She hesitates for a second.
“Keep it.”
You look at her. “I can give it back.”
“I already told you to keep it. Don’t be pathetic and make me reassure you.”
“Okay, Clarisse,” you roll your eyes.
—-
Your position on capture the flag is always the same.
Carrie, Matty and Clarisse hunt in the woods on the ground, and you get thrown up into some random tree to shoot arrows at anyone you see.
The idea is, they see the arrow coming from up above and look to the trees, only for Clarisse, Matty and Carrie to ambush them on the ground.
It’s only the third game you’ve employed this tactic, so the blue team is starting to catch on.
After Chiron gives his speech you could probably say yourself, you head over to the three of them, holding your arm out to Matty and the red bandana. He ties it around without saying a word, Carrie reaches over and scolds you for not tying your armor tight enough.
“Blah, blah, blah,” you say. “I’ll live.”
“Yeah,” Carrie snorts. “Because I fixed it.”
“Shush,” Clarisse hisses. She finishes talking to a few more of her siblings, and they take their companies off into the woods. She turns back around. “I have a different plan today.”
Carrie and Matty grin dangerously.
There’s something in between the three of them, some sort of matching glint in their eyes.
“Okay, did I miss something? Why are you guys being so… scary?”
“You’ll see,” Clarisse says, her eyes dark.
Gods, it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.
—-
The great thing about being up in the trees is you get to see everything.
You get to see the way Clarisse grins while she fights, the way she whips her spear around like it weights nothing, the way sweat forms at her brow- and the way her muscles flex. That’s the best part.
Her arms, her legs, her stomach, every part of Clarisse is just lean and toned muscle.
It makes you want to betray yourself in a way that would permanently embarrass you.
You follow them, of course, even though you have no idea what the hell is happening or what the plan is. There’s a reason she’s not telling you the plan. Why?
When you walk past the woods where you normally hunt, you start getting fidgety.
“Ok, guys, seriously. Tell me what’s going on.”
You realize you’re heading towards the side of the big hill, starting the climb up through the trees and rocks.
Clarisse turns around.
“Stop. Worrying.”
You grit your teeth. “I’m not worried. I’m just confused.”
She sighs, signaling to Carrie and Matty.
“You know,” she mutters. And they leave, so it’s just the two of you.
They spit up, making their way on the farthest two ends, all leading to the same ledge.
She grabs your wrists. “Stop cracking your fingers. It’s annoying, and you’ll hurt ‘em.”
“Then tell me what’s going on.”
She lets go of one of your wrists, but keeps her tight grip on the other, forcing you to keep pace behind her.
“I’m not gonna tell you again, Y/N. Don’t worry. I’m not going to put you in danger, obviously.” She laughs, as if the idea is ridiculous. “You’re a damn good archer.”
“Oh, my Gods. Did you just compliment me?”
She tenses up, finally realizing she did it.
“D-don’t let it go to your head.”
“Oh, I won’t. It will just be our little secret, won’t it?”
You bite your lip as you smile so you don’t burst out laughing.
“Sure,” she mutters, and you don’t miss the way she stares at your lips. She clears her throat, finally letting go of your wrist. “Percy Jackson-”
“Who’s a baby.”
“-attacked us last night.”
You raise an eyebrow, walking next to her. “Did you attack him first?”
She doesn’t answer that.
“I doubted you would join us. I just didn’t want you to be alone in the woods.”
“Why?”
“Hm, I saw Annabeth as we left the bathrooms. She knows, she knows we’re gonna get revenge so Luke’s gonna go straight for the flag because we’re not in the woods.”
“So you’re just sacrificing the entire game for revenge? Against a 12-year-old?”
“Revenge,” she mutters, thinking over it. “That’s a fun word.”
She smiles, looking at you.
“Oh, Gods,” you mutter.
—-
The rest of the walk continues in silence, until you can see Carrie and Matty in the distance, both waiting for Clarisse’s signal. She grins.
“Now, why don’t you just stay behind me and draw an arrow, and tell me if anyone’s coming. And when he’s distracted, you’ll sneak around behind him and block him from escaping, hm?”
You look around the forest. “Okay. But, Clarisse-”
She smacks her hand over your face. “I don’t need your morality right now. I just need you to keep those pretty eyes open and be our lookout.”
“Fine,” you hiss as you throw your hand off her mouth.
“Thank you,” she smiles, sarcastically. “Was that so hard?”
You mock her under your breath, but she signals to Carrie and Matty. They all start walking forward, trying for stealth, but your feet make sink into the gravel. He hears them. He sits up.
You don’t know anything about Percy Jackson, except for the fact he supposedly attacked the three musketeers you call your friends and possibly killed a Minotaur.
True to your word, you stay behind Clarisse, watching as she lifts her helmet off, throwing it to the ground.
Her spear sinks into the dirt.
“Flag’s that way,” Percy says. “It’s not here.”
“We know.”
You start walking out from behind her. His eyes flick between all four of you.
“Yeah, glory’s fine.” You can feel her eyes on you. “Revenge is more fun.”
She looks up at her spear, slamming it down, and you hear the familiar crackle as it lights up. Red hot electricity.
She laughs a bit.
He scrambles for his sword and spear, forgoing his helmet. They close him in. You walk around Carrie and behind him. His eyes move between you and Clarisse, but there’s nothing he can do to stop the four of you from surrounding him.
“No maiming. It’s like the one rule.”
His stance isn’t even close to correct.
“Yeah, I guess I’ll lose dessert privileges for a while,” she fake frets, looking up at her spear. She smiles and looks back at him. “I’ll live.”
Her face twists into a mask of focus and she swings out at him. He manages to dodge her first hit, and block the second with his shield.
She looks at Carrie and Matty. They lunge forward, attacking him together, and he certainly is a demigod- he has a natural talent.
But you can only really focus on the way she lifts her spear back over her head.
She grunts and spins, shocking him, before jabbing forward at his armor, making him fall back over the log he used to be laying on, right at your feet.
“I’m actually not interested in maiming or killing you, believe it or not,” she says, standing over him. “I just want you to admit you’re a fraud. It’d make me feel better. Are you feeling up to that yet?”
The way she holds her spear, the way she says it’ll make her feel better- you miss the way he swings out with his shield, hitting you in the shins.
“Fuck,” you hiss, leaning down to touch your burning leg. “Oh, fuck, that hurt.”
Percy grunts and takes off running.
“Y/N,” Matty says, a silent question in his concerned voice.
“I’m fine,” you mumble, shaking your leg out.
Clarisse glares at his retreating figure.
“I guess he has a fucking death wish,” she whispers, voice full of a deadly promise.
She grunts and launches herself over the log, Carrie and Matty following. You straighten yourself and take off running after them. You leg does burn, but you still manage to keep pace. Besides, Matty is already far ahead, surprising him and knocking him down from the path, making him tumble through the woods and land on the beach.
Matty and Carrie wave their swords at him from the right. He pants and breathes heavily, backing up, but when he turns around to run- Clarisse is there.
You draw your bow again, out of habit.
The arrows you use aren’t actual arrows of course, but filed down to little circle rocks at the end. They won’t kill you, but they fucking hurt.
You can’t help but giggle as he falls onto his back, scared just by Clarisse being there.
She laughs too, before all three of them launch into an attack.
They push him back, towards you, and you step back with them, waiting for the perfect moment.
But your eyes drift up to Clarisse. She’s hanging back for just a second while Matty and Carrie jab at him. She looks… proud. She looks really fucking proud that you’re laughing at this 12-year-olds misery.
But Clarisse was right. Revenge is fun. And you hate it, but you can’t stop it.
You smile back at her, and it’s like those nights at the bonfire, you know you’ll never speak of it again. It doesn’t matter. Right now, there’s angelic music playing in your head, and you’re watching her. You’re watching her, the sweat on her brow, the way her hands clasp her spear.
Her face twists into something else.
“Y/N!” she shouts, but Carrie and Matty pushed him too far, you didn’t move back enough- distracted by her- and you slam into each other, a tangle of limbs and metal.
He does this awkward sort of flip over you, landing a few feet behind you. You drop your bow in favor of catching yourself, and it gets caught on his shield and dragged along with him.
It’s a blur, you yelp as you go down, Percy groans.
They’re all standing there, tense and watching the way Percy stands up with your bow in his hands. His stance is nowhere near correct, it actually makes you cringe more than your bruised side after the fall.
Why the hell are you the one who keeps getting hurt?
Percy let’s out a breath. “Why don’t we all just walk away and forget this happened?”
“You just made that impossible,” Clarisse hisses.
You just want to get an ice pack on your leg and sit down. You’re tired. You want to boss Clarisse around as payment for bringing you here.
“Okay, okay, just stop. This is stupid, all of you. He’s, like, 12. He didn’t do it on purpose, you’re just attacking him for no reason.” Carrie and Matty look at the ground. Clarisse glares at you.
You turn around and face Percy. “Just go, okay.”
He looks between you and Clarisse.
“O-okay,” he breathes.
You can feel her move, hear her footsteps in the sand, her spear cutting through the wind. She comes around you, and Percy gets scared, so he raises up the bow and let’s it go- pointed straight at her face.
But it never hits her. It hits you, of course, because you have the worst luck in the world.
It hits you right in the chest, and it doesn’t kill you, but Percy is strong and it knocks the wind out of you.
Clarisse throws her spear to the ground and catches you, screaming your name at the top of her lungs.
Gods, this was so stupid. All of it. He didn’t mean to hurt you, he meant to stop her from attacking him. Because Clarisse is bloodthirsty. She cares about no one else but herself.
You were stupid to think she ever did.
But even through all of this, everyone treating you like a rag doll, you stare into Clarisse’s eyes. She’s frozen. She’s watching the rapid rise and fall of your chest, she’s watching the way you press your hand into your chest, trying to breathe, she’s looking at the fear in your eyes.
You’re terrified. And Clarisse looks the exact same way you feel.
You mouth her name.
Carrie and Matty are gathered around you, telling you to just breathe, take a breath in, but you can’t.
Clarisse let’s go of you and ignores your hands trying to hold her back, ignores Carrie warning her.
Oh, Gods, you’re in love with her and she’s just your friend, but it all hurts and you just need her right now.
Percy tries to scramble away from what he’s done, but Clarisse grabs him by his shirt and holds him up.
You think she’s actually going to kill him- then the conch sounds.
You all turn around.
The blue team runs to the beach, sticking the red flag into the ground. They all cheer loudly, Luke and Chris at the center of it.
Clarisse throws Percy back down on the ground.
She picks up your bow. Matty helps you stand up, you can breathe now, and you’re really fine. You just couldn’t for a minute. You don’t look at Clarisse, even though you want to.
—-
The four of you end up at the sword practice field, sitting on picnic tables like you did that one day.
Matty touches a few scratches on his arms from where he burst through the woods, scraping himself on something thorny.
Clarisse walks towards a dummy and starts attacking it. She lets all her anger out on it. They didn’t win, and her revenge is incomplete so, its not even worth it. You could have told her that from the beginning, but whatever.
Clarisse can do whatever she wants. She doesn’t listen to you, she doesn’t care about you- not as much as you want her too. Not as much as you care about her.
She’s so wonderfully in her element it makes you want her more. This is where she belongs, in the field in the sun, with her spear in her hands. She belongs here, where she feels closest to her father and farthest away from her responsibilities, from the constant battle it is for her to keep her emotions in check.
Even after a minute of her obliterating the dummy, she seems better. Finally, after another minute, she slows down until she stops.
You don’t stop looking at her until she turns around and looks at you. She breathes out.
“Are you okay?” she asks, sitting down on the opposite end of the bench.
“Fine. Just got the wind knocked out of me.”
She hums.
“C’mon, Matty,” Carrie says. “Let’s go back to the cabin, I’m thirsty.”
You’re not ready to get up yet, you’re too comfortable here on the bench, it’s too easy to breathe in the valley.
Clarisse flexes, stretching her spear over her head, and you watch her. Of course you watch her. You don’t think you’ll ever just be able to look at her in passing- you’ll always have to focused, you’ve always have to have your eyes totally and completely on her.
Like she’s some book you have to study. Like she’s all you’ve ever wanted to look at.
“Stop staring at me, weirdo,” she mumbles.
You sit up straighter. “I’m not. You’re just flexing dramatically all over the place, of course I’m gonna take notice of it.”
“Okay, sure,” she taunts, and you remember what happened, you remember how you felt when she walked away from you to continue with her revenge.
“I-I’m gonna go back to my cabin.” You don’t wanna be around her, not right now at least. “See you later, Clarisse.”
She stands up immediately. “I’ll walk you.”
“No, thanks, it’s fine.”
“Y/N, you got hurt because of me.” She crouches down and tugs up your pant leg. “How’s your leg? Your side?”
Matty, Carrie and Clarisse too, sometimes, are always touching you and doing things for you. It’s sweet. They aren’t good with the words, but they show you they love you, and that means more than anything else.
If she hadn’t done what she did, if she really cared about you, then you wouldn’t mind her touching you like this. You would love it.
“Clarisse- get off of me,” you shake your leg out, which hurts a bit, but she lets go and stands up.
Her face twists into one of anger, her fists clenched.
“I’m sorry, okay. I’m sorry you got hurt. I feel really bad about it, so just let me do this for you.”
“It’s not about that,” you mumble, cursing yourself and hoping she doesn’t hear you. Of course she does.
“Then what’s it about?”
You try to turn away, but she clamps her around your wrist and tugs you back towards her.
“What’s it about, Y/N?”
She holds your hand to her chest.
You both know what it’s about.
“Just stop, Clarisse,” but your body betrays you and you make no move to push her away. She notices, of course she notices, and she pulls you closer. “We’ve been dancing around each other for months.”
She blinks and her grip on your wrist loosens.
“And it was fun. It was a fun game, okay, Clarisse. But you can stop playing it now. You showed me today that your care more about yourself then you ever could me. I’m sick of it.” You tug your hand away. “I’m so sick of it, Clarisse.”
She grips you tighter again.
“What the hell are you talking about? I’m running around looking like a fool, and you think I care about myself? You think I don’t care about you?”
Your breath is a little shaky again.
“You could have helped me and you chose revenge.”
“For you.”
“What?”
“He slammed his shield into your leg, knocked you over, and then shot you in the chest. Of course I wanted revenge. Not for me, it was about that at first, but then, Gods, did you do something to him?”
You laugh. She smiles, staring at your face like she’s seeing you for the first time.
“Like, he just kept coming after you, I don’t get it. But I… I like you. Like, like you. And I don’t know what that means, but I don’t really care. I just… want you. I want to be near you all the time. And I go crazy when you’re with someone else. I want to touch you all the time, hug you, hold you… I want to kiss you so bad I think I’m gonna fucking explode.”
Fuck is always the first word you think of when you think of her. It used to be because she made you so angry with the secrets, but now it’s just the things the says make you wonder how much more you can fall in love with her.
“Well, I don’t really want you to explode,” you roll your eyes. “That’d be too messy. Besides, I-”
“You’re always such a fucking worrier.”
She plants her hands on your face and presses her lips to yours. You can feel the slight desperateness she won’t say, but she’ll tell you with her body. You can feel everything she won’t show, won’t say. How beautiful you are. How scared she was. How much she wanted you and for how long.
You feel it all just by her lips, and you can’t help but wonder what more she can tell you.
She pulls back and smiles.
“If you tell anyone about this, I’ll deny it.”
“I’m the light of your life, Clarisse.”
“Yeah,” she agrees, grabbing you tighter and kissing you again. You grab onto her arms, smiling. You always wondered what he muscles would feel like against you.
There’s only one word to describe the way it feels.
Fuck.
—-
clarisse when she accidentally told y/n she has pretty eyes: PLEASE DONT NOTICE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
y/n my ladybug not noticing: 🧍‍♀️
—-
y/n and clarisse just being insane together WDYM YOURE LAUGHING WHEN A KID FALLS OVER STOP
—-
clarisse: bitch stop WORRYING
y/n: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME SHUT UP
—-
clarisse and y/n both pretending that clarisse giving her a dagger wasnt literally a declaration of love and also clarisse throwing her spear down to catch y/n???? bitch she’s in LOVE
—-
taglist:
@jazhandzzz
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss
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jade-len · 9 months
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i think it'd be funny if someone transmigrated as xin mo. the goddamn evil sword. instead of taking it seriously, they just really fucked around with bingge. and, somehow, ended up having the opposite effect of what it's supposedly rumored to do.
picture this: bingge, on the quest for revenge and power, comes across the almighty xin mo. this demonic sword killed everyone that dared to even try wielding it. and, the few who were lucky enough to have it by their side, eventually succumbed to the swords' will.
it is said that the sword is unlike any other, that it etches into your head and eats away your brain, until eventually it consumes you whole. it whispers, speaking in lust, greed, and hatred. it slowly beckons the wielder into giving in to the worst part of themselves and feeds off of pure sin. but to him, it is no matter; luo bingge will surely tame it.
and then he gets to the sword.
demonic qi practically oozes from xin mo. the aura surrounding it makes every part of luo bingge scream, "run; get away, away from that monster." his gut prods at him, begging bingge that this is probably a really bad idea. it's a little terrifying, how even luo bingge, the determined, vengeful demon, is now getting second thoughts about wielding xin mo from just being in its presence alone.
but luo bingge is too, a monster. so he ignores the screams of plea; pushing every thought of doubt in the back of his head, and tightly grips onto the handle. the world around him seems to spin and shake, tumble and crack, from the amount of force bingge needs to use in order to pull the sword of sin out of its place.
when bingge finally has it perfectly fit into the palms of his calloused hands, he hears whispering. he knows that the sword has accepted him as its new host.
the sword's language crawls up to him, as if it were feeling around his body and mind. checking every nook and cranny for it to settle into bingge's form, truly becoming one with the embodiment of sin. the words flow through his brain like a tragically broken guqin, a melody that holds him in a frighteningly familiar trance - all while simultaneously eating away at his brain in the worst ways possible, akin to a child and their favorite snack. it seems to beckon something, but even with luo bingge's impressive hearing, he cannot make out any words from the tone-deaf musical notes xin mo sings.
and then, it is clear. the land around him settles, and everything is still. xin mo itself seems to be.. content. at least, that is what luo bingge believes.
the language of this wretched sword reflects the state around these two monsters.
luo bingge expects it to demand for bloodshed, for the erotic ecstasy of multiple women, for bingge to steal the last of the finest gems of these horrible, vast lands.
instead, he hears this:
"yoooo damn that shit was crazy. did you see what i did there? man, you know, it feels so fucking good to get out of the dirt. hey, do you know if people can like, feed their swords or something? i'm kinda craving something spicy. we never know, in this wack world! wait, don't hold me like that, buddy. it'll make things real awkward."
but luo bingge is determined to get his revenge, so he puts up with the swords' constant rambling about.. whatever the hell it's thinking.
"wait, dude, did you seriously fuck a dying girl? that's wild. yeah, like i know she was dying but it doesn't sound like you wanted it. yo, listen to me, consent is very sexy."
"HAHA hey, dude, sir, man. you wanna play some 'i spy'? we don't have anything else to do. no? too bad, we're playing it. i spy a loser who doesn't wanna play i spy. hint: he's holding me right now."
"okay i know i'm supposed to be this super evil sword and beg to be used - woah that sounded real wrong - but can you at least clean me when you're done killing shit? if you don't, i'm gonna refuse to respond to you and you'll look like a dumbass trying to wield me."
"i can't hear you lalalalalalala you're not being very it girl right now lallalalaalalalla-"
somehow, this is worse than if xin mo was actually eating away at his brain.
weirdly enough though, as luo bingge starts spending more time with this weird ass, seemingly possessed sword, it starts to become more of a.. comfort to have it by his side than pure annoyance. he finds himself responding to it more, like, actually having full on conversations with it. it puts him at ease, wielding xin mo. the hatred doesn't consume him, instead, it seems to soothe the burning rage (and, admittedly, just replace it with small irritation) that holds onto his darkened heart.
xin mo is actually quite kind and caring, for a sword that's supposed represent and be the literal embodiment of sin. sure, it is a hassle to have it cooperate with him sometimes, and it does just ramble on and on about the most random things ever, not giving a single shit if bingge was in the middle of sleeping with maidens and slaying those who get in his way. for the first time, bingge feels so comfortable around something.
it's.. odd. what was supposed to be the turning point in his life, a big step in his plan for revenge, is now something akin to an... acquaintance. not like mobei-jun, or any of the women he's come across, but an actual, dare he say, friend.
sometimes, he finds himself thinking all of this delusional. is this what people were driven mad by? perhaps they simply could not handle dealing with a talking sword. he understands that xin mo was undoubtedly unbearable to be around at the beginning of their alliance, but it has never actually beckoned for blood, power, and sex. if anything, it does the opposite.
maybe he's the delusional one. maybe this is xin mo's way of getting to him.
maybe, xin mo should be considered a thing. the thought feels terribly laughable, as if he were witnessing a person horribly explain themselves. it also makes his teeth grind together in pure agitation.
"hey, you know, you didn't deserve any of the things they did. it wasn't your fault, binghe. the fact that you're half heavenly demon doesn't make you a monster, or any of that wild stuff.. uh, i'm here for you, okay? i know you don't really like talking about all of this or opening up, but i just want you to know that you can.. talk about it. it's not like i can tell anyone else, anyways.
hey- shit i didn't mean to make you cry! wait, wait it's okay to cry! you need to let it out anyways, i promise it doesn't make you weak. there, there. i don't have any hands, so me patting you on the head with my handle will have to do. there, there.. everything will be alright, you'll be okay. i'll be here every step of the way, even if you want to get rid of me."
xin mo, the demonic sword, is more of a person - a good person - than anyone he'd ever come across.
...and then bingge and the xin mo transmigrator become besties or he falls for the damn sword. knowing him, he probably doesn't even know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction anyways. maybe bingge gets a plant body for xin mo using airplane's wack writing. idk i typed all of this down in one sitting.
(plot twist: it's not that the transmigrator xin mo had the opposite effect, it was literally just a placebo effect. luo bingge thought that, and thus it actually did help him lmao)
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chrollogy · 4 months
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i. LETS GO TO SHIZUOKA!
miya atsumu x f!reader
── next: ii. Just me & you | series masterlist
synopsis: What better way to de-stress post-semester than going on a trip with your close friends? It’d be nothing but smooth sailing if you weren’t wedging some distance between you, and a certain blonde. Though, whether you liked it or not, the universe had its ways.
chapter content warning: college au, fluff, a hint of angst if you squint, atsumu might be a dumbass, mutual pining, requited unrequited love, forced proximity, slow burn, my poor depiction of japanese geography, reader can’t ride a bike for the sake of plot, not beta read, a little tame for now!
word count: 3.8k
notes: divider: cafekitsune. weeeee first chapter :> !!
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‘You never really know when you’ve fallen in love. One day you just wake up and realise that it’s more than just shallow feelings.’
A phrase you’ve heard countless times growing up. You never really understood it well as a believer of love at first sight, thinking that the cliché ‘time slowing down as you see your lover before you’ was all there was to it to fully grasp the concept of love.
Kind of like in romantic movies where the camera dramatically pans around the main character after seeing their love interest—every person around you disappearing until all there was left were the two of you, heart racing a little too fast, the nervousness settling in—the whole shebang.
Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t as climactic as they ought to be in movies—not one soul magically disappeared until it was just the two of you, the time did not, in fact, slow down. If anything, your heart stuttered like crazy, threatening to leap from your rib cage and onto his hands as if they were its home. At least the movies got that one thing right.
It was down right frustrating leading up to the feelings you now had for none other than Miya Atsumu.
Some days were filled with fluttering heart beats, and dreamy sighs—tucking your chin on your palm at the blissful feeling of being infatuated with the blonde. As if on cloud nine, drifting along the feathery scenery atop a huge ivory cloud, cupid’s bow comfortably pierced right through your heart.
Other days were extremely unbearable, plagued with the ache of yearning, and unwanted jealousy—painfully digging your nails into your palm at the sight of someone else shamelessly flirting with Atsumu. It almost felt like a curse weighed upon you the day you were born, being smitten with a ladies’ man. On days like these, cupid’s bow uncomfortably dug into your heart like a painful itch—awkwardly poking out from your chest like an unconcealed badge saying, ‘Hey, look at me! I have a crush on someone who doesn’t even like me back. How stupid of me!’
Never mind that because the day it finally settled uncomfortably in your bones—that your feelings weren’t mere infatuation—you felt like you were in deep, deep shit. Absolutely fucked with a capital ‘F’ because suddenly the way Atsumu’s laugh sounded was like a sweet, sweet melody; an external stimuli to get your heart racing. The way his eyes crinkled, lashes kissing his cheeks as he laughed at a funny joke, oh, you were weak in the knees.
Your lovesick gaze unceremoniously bore into his handsome face, blissfully unaware of your raging feelings for him. You knew right then and there that love was what you felt for your close friend.
An uncharted territory that you swore to never step foot on, until now.
“You brought your passport?” Kita stared at the mini scarlet document resting between Atsumu’s slender fingers, brows raised with slight amusement. His expressionless question halted the quiet conversation amongst your group, all turning to look at the flustered blonde—his face now matching the colour of the passport in his hand.
“Y-yeah? Are we not supposed ta or somethin’?” Atsumu looked around at the growing amusement between his friends, except for Kita who only closed his eyes in defeat. The former looked over to you for help, honeyed eyes projecting a mix of slight panic and embarrassment, you could only look away in second hand embarrassment, cheeks heating from the eye contact.
“It’s a domestic flight, dumbass!” Osamu lightly smacked his twin on the back of his head, clicking his tongue at the lack of common sense. Before the two could even start their endless bickering, the line moved, signalling the group’s turn. Kita pulled the latter away with him to the check-in counter, saving everyone else’s ears being talked off with the twin’s petty arguments.
Winter break, a convenient time for you and your friends to get together and de-stress from the pressure of university. If anything, it was a purely spontaneous getaway trip to Shizuoka. The trip included a little pit stop to Tokyo for some much needed splurging—totally not your idea—before taking the train back down for Shizuoka.
It all started in the group chat with a lone screenshot from Suna, an on-going deal of inexpensive domestic flights from Hyōgo to Tokyo. There wasn’t even a message attached to the picture, just a wordless tactic in hopes to get the group together for an exciting winter ahead. First to see it was Atsumu, who immediately approved of the idea with an unnecessary amount of exclamation marks tied to his message. Then, it became a domino effect where the rest of the group voiced their interests, including yourself.
Next thing you knew, the five of you were holed up in the twin’s apartment—you and Kita sat on the chairs while the rest hovered behind, laptop on the table with a tab of the itinerary opened, and affordable accomodations in Shizuoka. With a quick transfer of funds from one bank account to another, you all looked forward to spending 4 days outside Hyōgo, 379 kilometres away from home.
Now, the five of you stood in the domestic terminal during the early hours of 7 AM, bound for Haneda Airport. Albeit, a bit sleepy, you were excited, deeming this trip as a little treat for making it through a rather tedious semester.
Sitting in between Suna and Kita, who respectively sat in the window and aisle seats, you took a moment to close your eyes as a muffled announcement from the pilot filled the speakers, the deep hum of the plane’s engines roaring as it moved up the runway, preparing for takeoff. Low murmurs of passengers, and the twin’s deep chatter behind you filled your ears like white noise, focusing on calming your racing heart.
You recounted a few minutes ago where Atsumu had opted to sit next to you, preferably on the window seat before Suna beat him to it, telling the latter that they had designated seats on their ticket, a teasing tongue poking out. ‘Like that matters.’ The blonde muttered, followed by a string of silent curses aimed at his friend before being ushered onto the next row behind by Osamu.
It was always like that with Atsumu and his spontaneity—he had no qualms sitting a row behind when you all had booked your tickets, even saying that he didn’t care wherever he sat as long as he landed in Tokyo in one piece. What drove him to change his mind was beyond your understanding.
Though, you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t grasp onto that little hope of possibly sitting next to Atsumu for the whole flight. To your dismay, it dissipated the second you held onto it—all thanks to Suna Rintarou. Nonetheless, you would’ve felt awkward anyway, now that your heart weighed heavy with the burden of being hopelessly in love, and shamelessly pining.
You wouldn’t know how you would’ve acted during the span of 1 hour and 10 minutes; arms touching one another, albeit, covered in thick layers to fend off cold, and knees dangerously close—your cheeks heated at the thought. Sure, it was nothing intimate but that was Atsumu’s effect on you, and it absolutely drove you up the wall.
It wasn’t like this before, and you felt pathetic.
Gone were the days where you could hold a solid conversation with Atsumu without stuttering, and fidgeting like an idiot—where you were able to freely speak to him without any inhibitions weighing your shoulders. Come to think of it, the last time this probably happened was way back in second-year highschool. You were in second-year college now.
If you were being completely honest, you caught yourself unintentionally placing some distance between you and Atsumu, just a tad bit for the sake of your sanity. Could you really blame yourself? With the way he has been acting indifferent, it did some damage to your poor, poor heart—everyone had their limits and you were bound to reach yours soon enough. Especially with the coming days ahead, seeing him after you wake up, and before going to sleep. All in his glory.
Heavens above, have mercy on your heart.
Suna nudged you awake, head resting on his shoulder for the duration of the flight. You muttered a small apology as he let out a small groan, fingers digging into his padded jacket to massage the tense muscles of his shoulder. “We’re in Tokyo, sleepy head.” Atsumu prodded a finger at your head, poking his tongue out as you turned to face him, as if on cue, your heart beat picked up, only able to playfully roll your eyes in response.
Disembarking the plane, and claiming luggages proceeded without a hitch; thankfully, all your hard suitcases were still intact, and not shattered from the rough handling in the airport. After conveniently hailing a jumbo taxi, you were on your way to the heart of Tokyo. Naturally, Kita sat at the front passenger seat, having no trouble exchanging polite conversation with the driver. You and Osamu sat in the middle row while Atsumu and Suna were at the back.
You had to stop yourself from climbing to the back right after Atsumu did so, letting the brunette happily go instead, earning furrowed brows from the former—one that you tried your best to ignore.
The sound of wheels rolling along concrete filled your ears, along with the hustling and bustling of Central Tokyo as the group searched for the nearest luggage storage. A sea of bodies clad in layers of business casual outfits, men and women alike hastily walked to their destinations. The beloved city was adorned with Christmas lights and decorations, radiant hues of red, green, and gold standing out against the dark winter coats locals donned.
That was to be expected, the start of winter break being only a day after Christmas. It always cheered you up in every sense, seeing all sorts of novel decorations put your mind in a better place.
“Alright! Now that’s done, let’s get somethin’ ta eat.” Osamu locked the storage behind him, quickly tucking his hands back inside his trench coat, puffs of white fog leaving his lips with every word spoken. This earned a handful of hums from the rest, without a doubt there were no arguing when it came to eating food.
Atsumu fell into a step beside you, letting out an exaggerated noise as he shuddered from Tokyo’s early morning winter breeze.
“Hey. Seems like I haven’t talked ta ya in forever. Y’ avoidin’ me or somethin’?”
The blonde teased, all smiles with a tinge of crimson painted on his nose, and cheeks—from the cold, you presumed. The lack of seriousness in his tone put you at a slight ease, at least you didn’t have to start explaining why you were kind of avoiding him.
You shook your head, a genuine laugh leaving your lips as his honeyed eyes met your own, “Me? Never.” This earned a proud smile from your friend, chest puffing in absolute pride underneath the thick layers of winter fabrics.
“Good. I dunno what I’ll do if ya start avoidin’ me.”
His saccharine gaze lingered on your own a little too long for your sanity, all you could do was blink in response, mind flying off into the unknown as your heart picked up its pace yet again. Atsumu’s velvety stare was intense, it was like standing under the blazing sun on a scorching summer day, making you feel all sorts of emotions from A to Z.
Suddenly, the cerulean scarf around your neck felt a tad too restricting, the puffer jacket you wore became awfully warm, and the crisp morning air of Tokyo seemed too thin. Everything felt weird all of a sudden—your skin prickled under his honeyed eyes, getting lost in them as each slow second passed.
“Oi! Are you two coming or not?” Suna’s voice sharply sliced through the enchanting trance you and Atsumu were under, jolting you both back into reality. The rest of them were already far ahead looking into shops for a quick bite, indicating that somewhere down the line, the two of you had stopped walking just to stare into each other’s eyes. How embarrassing.
The latter cleared his throat, embarrassment settling in upon realising the situation at hand. He muttered a quick ‘Let’s go’ before starting a slow jog over to the rest of the group, acting like he didn’t just stare into your soul for god knows how many seconds. Slapping your cheeks, and letting out a puff of breath, you headed towards your friends, navigating through the crowded footpath and making sure not to accidentally bump into anyone.
The next few hours consisted of wisely spending money—per Kita’s words—in the heart of Tokyo. Despite endlessly complaining at first, the twins and Suna were soon sucked into the shopping fever.
Though, the four of you had to worry about your luggages back at the storage, resulting in only buying items that you desperately wanted, and essentials. This unfortunately led to almost being late to the scheduled Shinkansen you all had previously booked, the only option was to quickly run back to the luggage storage, and up the train station just in time before the train departed.
Everyone did their best to keep their heavy breathing in check, trying not to come off as rude to other passengers as well as saving yourselves from the embarrassment of unsolicited stares. You relaxed on the azure seat beneath, situated between the window and Kita—who sat in between you and Atsumu, the other two were on the next row over.
Your gaze turned to the large window beside you, overlooking the opposing platform as the engine of the Shinkansen quietly whirred, signalling the impending departure. Due to the non-rush hour at the quiet time of 1:57 PM, it wasn’t packed at all, only a few commuters coming in and out of the station to get on with their day-to-day routine.
As the Shinkansen slowly advanced to full speed, the outside view quickly turned into a mix of blurred hues; tall buildings decorating Central Tokyo gradually turned into greenery and suburban areas.
The afternoon sun peeked from the winter ivory clouds, seeping into the window to cast a radiant, warm glow upon the three of you. A subtle reflection of Atsumu’s peaceful profile projected on the glassy panel, allowing you to carefully trace each and every detail of his handsome features—the slope of his nose, flaxen strands framing his face, and those rosy pink lips you’ve always longed to touch with your own.
Tucking your chin atop a palm, you shamelessly stared at your friend’s reflection through the window—you watched as his honeyed eyes focused on the scenery before him, angling his head your way to get a good look of the view. Atsumu’s lips ever so slightly pursed with pure fascination, his Adam's apple bobbing with awe, you presumed with the speed of the Shinkansen.
Oh, how wrong you were.
“Staring a little hard, aren’t we?”
You were met with Kita’s warm gaze as you whipped your head around, albeit, rather quickly as if caught doing something you shouldn’t be. His stare held a hint of mischief—something that rarely ever occurred which caused your cheeks to shamelessly heat up. The man wasn’t even fully teasing you or anything—not that he normally did so—but it roused quite a reaction from you: fidgeting at the hem of your jacket, gaze avoiding Kita’s expectant ones, the slight part of your lips, not to mention the small stutter your heart did but you weren’t going to let him know.
Absolutely not.
On the other hand, Atsumu stared out the same window, albeit, not directly at the view outside but rather at the reflection of your side profile on the glassy panel as you animatedly explained yourself to Kita. He couldn’t hear what the two of you were talking about as he resorted to using earbuds a few moments ago, blocking out the white noise.
Atsumu let out a small chuckle—one that was drowned by the hum of the Shinkansen—as he admired you from the window, a subtle smile involuntarily forming at the look of your flustered state. How adorable. Naturally, his eyes drifted down to your plush lips as it moved with every spoken word; Atsumu could only fantasise the feeling of it against his own.
The blonde swiped his tongue across his bottom lip before letting out a small huff, and closing his eyes shut—stubbornly depriving himself of your beauty.
More than a few times in the past, Atsumu has caught himself shamelessly wandering along the borders of ‘friends’ and ‘lovers’, brazenly walking along the fine line that split the two territories—as a matter of fact, in his eyes, the line was so damn thin that it almost appeared blurry. Dangerously blurry. But Atsumu was a thrill seeker, and would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t want to venture out into the uncharted territory called ‘lovers’.
For as long as he could remember, Atsumu has been patiently sitting by this uncharted territory—endlessly waiting for the day where he’d finally be able to cross that line without any hesitation in his bones. It was delusional of him, really, because at the very back of his mind—carefully tucked and hidden—Atsumu knew he probably didn’t stand a chance. That one day, he’d helplessly watch another man effortlessly cross the line.
He could only hope that was him.
Fortunately, the rest of the train ride was peaceful until Mount Fuji came into view from the distance; the stratovolcano proudly stood in all its icy glory, looking over Shizuoka and Yamanashi—its snow-capped tip slightly peeking from a blanket of clouds. The five of you didn’t hesitate to pull out your phones to start taking photos of the famed mountain, all amazed by its conical form.
After a few more clicks of the symbolic Fujisan, with selfies here and there, the train finally arrived in Shizuoka Station—greeted by the city’s skyline surrounded by impressive sights of nature. Hauling your respective mini luggages, and shopping bags from Tokyo, the five of you, surprisingly, made it to the hotel—located in the heart of Shizuoka—only a stone’s throw from the train station.
Greeted with a homey view, the hotel’s vast foyer was warmly lit, decorated with artificial plants here and there along with lots of comfortable spaces to sit on. Faint jazz music filled the rather deserted place, footsteps along its marbled ivory floors echoing loudly. Kita, and Osamu made their way to the counter—the latter only trailing behind to inquire about amenities—whereas Suna beelined for the nearest toilet, leaving you and Atsumu on luggage duty.
Great.
The blonde unceremoniously plopped down next to you, cream-coloured couch groaning beneath his weight as he yawned, pairing it with a full body stretch. How cute. It reminded you of a cat stretching right after waking up, face scrunched and all. Atsumu sat way too close for your liking, the heat of his right side spilling onto your left—it wasn’t even a comfortable kind of warmth, no, it mirrored the intensity of a hot, sunny day. Despite the lack of skin contact, his touch lit your body with a searing blaze. You scratched at your neck, the familiar prickling sensation coming back for the nth time.
It was awfully quiet, the crisp winter air turning thick, and awkward as each slow second passed. All of a sudden, the wooden coffee table before you looked rather interesting, eyes tracing its natural surface pattern. It didn’t look this cool a few seconds ago. The faint jazz music still played from the hotel speakers, a mocking symbol of the lack of conversation between you and Atsumu.
The latter awkwardly cleared his throat, hand coming up to rub at his nape—a nervous habit he’s picked up, and you knew that too. He turned his mind upside down, and inside out to think of anything just to clear the somewhat awkward air between the two of you but his thoughts fell short. For the first time in a while, Atsumu was rendered speechless. When did it get like this?
“We should do a bike tour. I saw an ad for one outside just before we came in.”
Suna strode over to the two of you, hands snug inside his pockets. What a life saver. “I think it's like a 3-hour tour, though.” He muttered before pulling his phone out, mindlessly scrolling on it.
“Won’t it be snowy?” Osamu replied from behind, Kita trailing closely, room keys and a pamphlet in hand. “Shizuoka has very little snowfall. I think we’ll be fine.” The ivory-haired male interjected, earning a hum from Suna. Before the group could further discuss today’s plans, you spoke up,
“I can’t even ride a bike.”
“Ditto.” Atsumu groaned.
“Well. Technically, I can. Jus’ a bad experience from childhood. Haven’t gotten on one since then and not about ta start now.” The male beside you shrugged whereas his twin chuckled at the recollection. Must’ve been quite a memory for the two, you presumed.
You shook your head, reassuring the group, “Don’t mind me. I can rest up a bit while you all go out.” It wasn’t much of a big deal, anyway. Plus, a good 3-hour nap sounded like absolute heaven to you right now, especially after waking up early this morning. It was only the first day of the trip, and there were more planned activities ahead with the group so you didn’t mind.
The door to the hotel room opened up to a cosy, expansive suite inspired by traditional tearoom elements in Japanese-style—gasping at the intricate vases and traditional scrolls that decorated the room. The suite included two Tatami rooms—excluding the small kitchen, and living room—adorned with cosy futons. Overlooking the vast city of Shizuoka, it gave a sense of luxury amongst the homey vibes of the room.
A few shuffling here, and there, the group agreed to part ways for a bit, and reconvene for dinner—Suna, Kita, and Osamu headed for the bike tour whereas you and Atsumu stayed behind for a much needed peaceful rest.
If peaceful was even the word to describe it.
“We’ll see ya at dinner. Have fun.” Osamu shot his brother a look, one that made you stop in your tracks. A subtle smirk plastered all over the former’s face which looked just like the usual expression Atsumu always wore, it didn’t help how Osamu looked exactly like him.
What the hell?
A resounding thud reverberated throughout the walls as the door shut behind the silver-haired male. There was a slight pause, a heartbeat of silence before Atsumu turned to you, hands on his hips, mirroring the smirk his brother gave just a few seconds ago. You gulped, meeting his honeyed gaze.
“Looks like it’s just me and ya with three hours ta spare, huh?”
Three hours with Miya Atsumu. Alone. How convenient.
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tags: @ushijimaschubbs @tsumudoll @starlitsawamura @littlemiyastars (kind reminder to turn your mentions on!)
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tocomplainfriend · 8 months
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Episode 4
TW: Rape, Sexual Assault and Abuse, Physical abuse.
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So uh, I really did just guess "there is no way it's that bad, right?"...
OK, SO LET'S TALK. So again if you haven't seen the episode big Trigger Warning for its content! It's real heavy, explicit and on your face. I'm a Sexual abuse victim talking about this, just so you know.
I think the bigger problem I have with the episode, it's the context surrounding it and what happens later on, specially. Many people can have different views on the poison scene itself, for their own. But that scene, even if you as a victim relate, can only really work in a vacuum. Why? Let's see... hum.... The jokes of male SA in Helluva Boss? How it's written as funny to Moxxie to get assaulted? By the Succubus, Blitz, Chaz? Not seeing any problem in Stolitz, and victim blaming Blitz.
Suddenly Viv wants to be like: "Male sexual assault and abuse it's so not talked about, I'm going to write about it". As if she didn't write all those HB jokes. All those jokes are only men getting assaulted too, by other men or woman. The SA and r-pe it's funny when it's done to men, why did this even happen?
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Even if the entire episode 4 was good, why did the same person write all this jokes? Is the sexual harassment Angel does to husk, even going to be addressed later or...? The biggest problem, it's the bad execution. Something happens a lot with HB and HH, it's that scenes and concepts work In isolation, that way you imagine in infinite possibilities of the "what if this". But they give you is in it'self not that good. The series does expect you to be a fan, and have to watch the pilot. Because it doesn't really bother to introduce the characters or anything. So the emotional bits don't hit that hard if you didn't already care about the characters since or before the pilot.
Since the first episodes, Valentino has being changing between fucking idiot and horrifying monster. In episode 2 he is treated as a stupid dumbass. I feel like all the episodes until 4 were too much, on the comedy shit- to immediately jump into explicit abuse and SA is a lot. In the end of the episode they also shift back the tone, weirdly.
So we jump into Val and Angel's work, showing how shitty val is. Charlie jumps into interrupting the hole thing. AND VAL ASSAULTS HER TOO??? I didn't expect that. He grabs her kisses and lick up her arm, and gets too close to her in other scenes. Then Charlie accidentally ruins the set, and Val ends up physically abusing Angel. Living him with a black eye, and it's shown Angel did a deal with him. Leaving him fully trapped with him (not a legal contract, but a devil/sinner bound magic thing). Then it's poison music number.
Many people feel like it's too graphic. Other people will say it's okey, because it shows the problem straight on, and it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.
Explicit doesn't = good.
You can talk a lot of what does this level of graphic/explicit add to the conversation.
My main problem with it being so explicit comes from who is directing that hole part of the episode. I talked about it in the post above. The person in question:
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(BLURRED CUT PICTURE)
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Does this scene above seem familiar to you? This person put together with how the poison part of the episode is played out AND all the disgusting "SA is funny" jokes HB make this a fucking problem.
AND THEN THE FUCKING ENDING IS CRAZY BAD LIKE HELLO???? At the end, Angel is at a bar, and his drink gets spiked. Husk gets him out and fights against the guys that spiked the drink. Then they kindly have an argument... To get through the whole heavy ass episode- to then Husk hit with a song calling Angel a baby IS FUCKING CRAZY. I see what the point was supposed to be, but the execution absolutely kills it. The song tries to compare Husk and Angel, to say shit sucks but hey it's okay we are in this together, BUT HOLY SHIT. Why, comparing Angel Dust being sexually abused under a demonic contract (HE IS STILL UNDER)- to Husk having to work for Alastor. Yes, Husk fucked up his life in hell do to gambling- that's not comparable to Angel being in an abusive relationship where he gets taken advantaged of. Calling Angel dust a baby loser, "everyone got it difficult get over your self"- it's fucking crazy. The fact that the episode ends on everyone happy and laugh it off it awful! WHAT HAPPEN???????? Like Angel is still under Val's contract- his going to have to go back to work, or to any other place where his drink could be spiked. We are still in the same problem. I don't- I don't understand. The song wasn't even a "I'll help you", it felt more like "Hey shit sucks, get over it". How did you write that? I don't think the series has the time or good enough space to treat the subjects- and they are dealing in the worst way.
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EDIT:
I cannot believe this woman made a cum joke, about the song that it's about being trapped with your abuser- that comes with really graphic scenes of assault and r-pe. Like the whole song it's about that???? It's not a "Hot sexy" song, it's literally all sexual assault and workplace abuse.
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This scene is from a non canon comic from the same artist above, got immediately referenced in the scene after poison. That's crazy. Also, The artist is... uh......... Did you know that in episode 4. It got showed that Angel's real name is Anthony? They changed their name to Tony, make themselves look like Angel? Now does sex work like Angel. They choreographed the pole dancing in Addict?
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AND Viv just reduced Angel's Sexual Harassment of Husk as:
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Angel trows himself to Husk, grabs him, touches him, makes unwanted sexual comments. You, have never left the weird shipping of queer of mean that revolts around sexual harassment. It's like old ass garbage Wattpad yaoi, not acknowledging those problems. Why is there more attention to that than Charlie and Vaggie, who lacks so much personality and everything. WLW with no condiments and artificial as fuck MLM with microplastics.
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phantombre · 4 months
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Man, procrastination is a bitch.
I'm supposed to be working on the Voices, but I ended up doing more Princess.
So here's the Princess. All thirteen of her.
Spoilers, maybe:
Warning: organs, skeletons
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I'll do the rest of them later, but I'll have to force myself to finish at least the Narrator first.
I suppose I should give my favorites:
1.) The Razor (just the funniest shit I've ever seen; also my first route)
2.) The Moment of Clarity (truly worthy of its name)
3.) The Greys (both of them; awesome/funny interactions between the voices; Drowned especially; I got her because I left the Prisoner's head in the basement, you know, like a dumbass)
4.) The Prisoner (she's just so down to earth and straightforward with her intentions. Under better circumstances, she could probably be a friend. Also Skeptic is there, my beloved-)
5.) The Wraith, specifically with the Opportunist (he's a car salesman, and none of you can convince me otherwise.)
You can really tell which ones I put more effort in, huh?
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princess-glassred · 17 days
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No pennywise no juniper hills au where Richie has a podcast as a side gig when he's not doing comedy, and as a bit of a joke he thinks it would be funny if he did an episode where he invites his childhood bully on as a guest. Henry is working as a janitor and his life just kinda sucks now, so he agrees to it. It's a very funny episode of the podcast, but the down side is its TOO funny, and now he's forced to keep inviting Henry back until he's essentially a cohost at this point. Everytime Henry's on he basically just says the most out of pocket insane shit, because even though he never killed anyone or went to juniper hills in this au he's still a total nutcase.
He's dumb, a chronic liar, and just all around pretty fucking weird so everybody likes when Richie has him on cause it's funny. Especially with the way Richie is genuinely quite smart and witty guy, so his absolute baffled expression at everything Henry says is like the funniest thing ever. Just their weird ass dynamic of "Bumfuck nowhere Janitor with a heaping of mental issues that's a dumbass" and "Actually smart, rich leftist comedian with no patience for his ex-bully's bullshit" makes the podcast really popular. Even when Henry is saying bigoted homophobic shit, it's balanced out ny how Richie just reiterates that he's a fucking idiot.
Average Podcast conversation basically goes like this:
R: Man, remember when you used to call me the F slur and shit.
H: Yeah, good times, it was fun.
R: The funny part is I'm actually gay now, so I guess you were kinda right about that one, huh.
H: Cool.
R: Cool? Just cool??
H: I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do Richie? Kick your ass? I see fags all the time at work now, as long as you don't try to fuck my butt or something I can deal with it for an hour.
R: Ew, dude you gotta realize not everyone wants to fuck you.
H: Impossible.
R: Henry, do you honestly believe there is nobody in the world who isn't attracted to you?
H: I mean, I never said they had to be attracted to me, I just said everyone wants to fuck me.
R: Oh my god- *buries his face in his hands*
H: *Looks to crew member* This guy is a really bad cohost, you know? First he doesn't even pay me and no he says no one wants to sleep with me.
R: What?
H: Don't get paid.
R: I literally do pay you.
H: No.
R: Yes, I do, you're just making shit up for attention again.
H: When you think about it, this is basically slavery.
R:... •_•
H:... •_•
R:... •_•
H: Unpaid labor is slavery.
R: I fucking can't with you.
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mixtape-racha · 1 year
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it's a scream, baby! | hyunlix
chapter one: do you like scary movies?
words: 1.51k // warnings: minor character death, cursing
OFFICIAL GHOSTFACE KILL COUNT: 000
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heejin jumped as the monster in the movie claimed another victim with its knife-like fingers. why did she even choose to watch this again? nightmare on something? beech road? no, that wasn’t right… elm street! stupid fucking elm street and stupid fucking freddy kreuger with his stupid fucking hands. she wasn’t even supposed to be watching it alone, let alone throwing her popcorn around the living room every time something scared her, but her dumbass boyfriend never turned up for date night. it was his choice of movie too!
when the phone rang, she rolled her eyes and paused the movie. if that wasn’t suho calling her with a good explanation, she was going to be pissed. he’d sworn he wouldn’t be late tonight, and further sworn that he wasn’t going to flake again like he did everytime their date night coincided with a lacrosse-team party.
“goddammit, suho, you promised you’d be on time tonight, i–”
but the voice at the end of the phone was not that of her boyfriend. in fact, it wasn’t a voice she recognized at all, so how did they have her number? and why were they calling her at 10:30 on a wednesday night?
“all alone tonight, heejin? what a shame. seems like a waste for a pretty girl like you to be by herself.” the voice almost sounded distorted, like someone was using a voice-changer on the end of the line.
“listen, if this is some sort of stupid prank, its not funny. who is this?” 
between the stress of upcoming finals, and a flaky boyfriend who seemed to enjoy the company of a football more than he did his girlfriend, heejin wasn’t in the mood for jokes. 
the voice chuckled, in a way that sent a shiver up heejin’s spine. “i think the better question is; where am i? you should really learn to lock your doors when you’re home alone, kid.”
“this isn’t funny. fuck off.” heejin hissed, slamming the phone down and heading back towards the comfort of her couch. kid. she wasn’t a kid. who the fuck where they to talk to her all patronizing like that? but just as she attempted to take her seat, the phone rang again.
huffing, she picked up the handset. “what?”
“now, thats not nice. i just wanna talk.” the voice laughed, something eerie about their tone putting heejin on edge.
“yeah, they’ve got 900 numbers for that. bye, now.”
tossing the phone on the counter, heejin headed into the kitchen to make herself a glass of water. what kind of weirdo called up girls on a wednesday night to scare them? men were weird. but she barely managed to cross the threshold of the kitchen when the ringing of the phone pierced the silence again.
heejin was beginning to get upset at this point. why wouldn’t they get the hint? if it was suho or his friends pulling a prank, she was truly going to get mad. but, she’d give them one last chance to piss off and grow up.
“listen here, asshole-!” she shouted, but was quickly cut off.
“no, you listen here you little bitch! hang up on me again and i’ll gut you like a fish!” the voice growled, catching her off guard. “yeah, thats right. wanna play a game, blondie? it’s called ‘guess how i’m gonna die’.”
trying to stop her voice from shaking, heejin ran across the lower expanse of the house, locking all the doors and windows she could see. what the fuck kind of joke was this?
“what do you want? please- don’t fuck with me.” backing into the living room to draw the blinds and grab the first weapon she could see - a letter cutter - she hid herself behind the tv display. she’d quickly realized this wasn’t suho or his friends - even they knew when a joke went too far.
“well, then. if you wanna see your pretty, little boyfriend again, you better be smart about this.” was the only reply she received as the voice laughed. the house was quiet - too quiet - heejin thought as she curled herself further into a corner. and what did suho have to do with this? holding back tears, she prayed her parents would come home soon.
“round one of the game, blondie. its no fun if you hide. why don’t you come out where i can see ya? if you don’t, i’m afraid its an automatic win for me.”
taking a deep breath to calm herself, heejin pulled herself out of the ball she was curled in and took a few cautious steps into the middle of the room. maybe the voice was bluffing? as long as she stayed inside the house, not going outside to “investigate a noise” like the dumb bitches in horror films, she’d be okay.
“good,” the voice on the other end of the phone drawled, the tone making heejin’s skin crawl. “now, round two. did you lock me out of the house, or did you lock me in?”
the call dropped, making heejin’s breath catch in her throat. the silence surrounding her was ridiculously loud, and she was scared to make a step or turn, even slightly. surely, this was just a prank. the guys had obviously just taken it too far, and were probably laughing at her wherever they were hidden. the minute she found them, she’d give them a piece of her mind.
it had to be a prank, didn’t it? stuff like this didn’t happen in woodsboro, it was the safest town she’d ever known.
any slight whistle of the wind outside sounded like an ever-growing closer breath, every tick of the clock like a creaky footstep reverberating throughout the house. clutching the letter cutter to her body, heejin tiptoed towards the hallway, hoping that she could get to her bedroom and hide in there until her parents returned home.
but that never came.
instead, she turned the corner to hear loud, clomping footsteps approaching her. a tall figure was inching closer to her, a father-death costume donned, and a large kitchen knife in their hand - her own kitchen knife. she feared she was about to die by her own utensil, unless whichever jock was pranking her took the mask off now.
holding onto hope that this was just a joke gone too far, although deep down she knew that wasn’t the case, she held out the letter cutter, swinging it.
“suho, i swear to fuck. if you don’t take that mask off right now and apologise, i won’t be held responsible for my actions.” her voice trembled as the faux-confidence slipped from her aura.
surprisingly, the figure did take the mask off, but much to heejin’s horror, it wasn't her loving boyfriend, or any of his stupid friends, and he continued to approach her, knife clutched tightly in his fist and a sadistic smile on his face.
“please, don’t do this- please, i’ll do anything!” heejin pleaded, tears falling freely down her face as the man grabbed a fistful of her hair and traced the edge of the knife against her throat.
the last words she ever heard were a simple, yet arrogantly cocky “i win.” before the knife was plunged into her stomach.
(y/n) climbed out of her car in confusion, wondering why so many people were around campus today. did she miss the memo for an event? it was only 8:20am, why were the emergency services on site?
barely anyone seemed to be walking alone, people grasping each other tightly. she spotted at least 6 girls crying, 4 boys pale and sickly in apparent shock. she couldn’t even begin to count the amount of students and staff talking to news reporters or journalists. what the hell was going on?
spotting jisung climbing off his bus, she jogged over to him, her confusion ever-growing and ever-present on her features. being her best friend and the biggest social butterfly she knew, surely jisung would have an answer to the gossip swirling around her in hushed voices.
“ji! what’s going on?” she called, grasping his attention, confused further as he ran over and picked her up in a hug, the relief clear in his aura.
“thank fuck, you’re okay. everyone’s been trying to get hold of you all morning. did you lose your phone or something? don’t ever fucking scare us like that again!”
(y/n) was slightly shocked, jisung had never raised his voice at her like that. none of the boys did. what the hell did she miss last night? everyone was acting so… weird. she didn’t know what she’d missed during her study night with yeji, but clearly it was something major. something bad.
“did something happen on campus? why are the news here? was there a fire or something?” she questioned, arm slung around her friend’s shoulders, but her expression soon dropped as the boy turned to face her - a look of what could only be described as sheer terror on his face.
“did you not hear? kang heejin was murdered last night.”
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taglist: join taglist here @pretty-racha @chubbyanarkiss @downtherabbithole01 @amara-mars @queen-klarissa @demetrisscarf @velv3y @KarmaGolden @queenfelix @taeriffic (red means it wouldn't let me tag you)
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shigayokagayama · 6 months
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The Beach Omake And Authorial Intent
initially i was going to save this for a big teru analysis i had cooking however i eventually ended up deciding that it would feel like a really long tangent in its original context and probably deserves a separate post.
when it comes to the whole "teru's parents" thing i generally see two competing ideas on it
a. terus absent parents are the real villains of mob psycho and are the direct cause of everything wrong with his life and any and all teru analysis must center around this fact
b. terus parents being absent in the first place is only revealed in an omake and only exists for plot convenience and is not something that should be focused on at all when writing him
and whenever i see either of these my mind always drifts to the question of authorial intent. i know how people are reading this information, but how are we supposed to? i know death of the author is becoming more of a common thing in fandom spaces (albeit usually misused) but i feel like a better understanding of why this omake exists and how we're supposed to read it might help to better synthesize two takes that seems to be completely at odds with each other.
okay first i want to go over the actual placement of the beach omake in the update schedule of the manga because, unlike most other omakes, i feel like this ones placement in the schedule of page releases is actually super relevant
the vast majority of omakes come at the end of weekly updates. you finish reading the usually 15-20 pages ONE put out and then you get a little bonus comic at the end, usually something funny or a slice of life but but occasionally more serious. multi part omakes are usually spread out over multiple updates, making you wait a couple weeks for a punchline.
beach omake is not that. between chapters 99 (mob gets hit by a car) and 100 (the whole rest of the omake) there was a 6 week hiatus from normal pages and in this hiatus is where we get beach omake. reading it all together immediately cuts away the sort of "slice of life sunday paper comic" tone other multi part omakes have and make you read it as a part of the actual main story, since that's how you're used to reading these weekly updates.
now the actual tone. generally the multi part omakes exist to be long punchlines and the rare emotional ones are a single page for maximum impact. beach omake has a very different structure compared to, say, the haunted doll omake or the pot of happiness.
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off the bat from the first two pages there's not really a joke. the tone mostly seems kind of melancholic. mobs expression for the middle section of the second page (maybe purposely) is obscured by the panel breaking off, it's hard to tell his reaction, all our attention is directed at teru. with all of the panels taken up by dialogue (primarily his own), we're being asked to focus on what he's saying:
-teru lives alone
-he lives alone because his parents live overseas
-he hasnt seen them in a while
-he doesnt like having nothing to do
-he doesnt like being alone
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all of this information is delivered with an extremely casual expression from him, implying that it's not something that seems ll the out of the ordinary for him. mob, on the other hand...
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the hesitation before he says anything and the way his expression is obscured seems to imply something is... off... about this information to him. this isn't a handwaved "oh mob is walking home from school after passing out because he needs to for plot reasons", we're reacting to this information like it's weird.
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the next two pages are, mostly, a lot more of what we expect out of a mob psycho omake. the first one works as a standalone joke page, teru is bad at identifying animals which leads to him showing reigen a roach, something reigen is terrified of, instead of a beetle.
the second page starts similarly, we get a dumbass joke about reigen trying to pick up women at the beach (note: i think this is the singular time we get an indication reigen is even into women) but then the next two panels take on a more melancholic tone again. we get a small panel of mob and ritsu playing on the beach and a much, much larger panel of teru sitting on the beach, watching them. the dialogue bubble forces us to pay attention to the fact that he is silent.
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the ending of this omake is where we bring it home. generally the last panel centers the punchline of the page, or of the whole omake, but the final panel of this isn't really what was being built to in this case.
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we start our second page on teru. his expression is obscured, reigens speech bubble is shoved to the side so we can see that teru's hat is being held in his hands.
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when we see his face in full view he looks... confused. he looks like he doesn't know how to react to someone going through all this trouble for him. teru is a character who, up to this moment, we have seen as extremely independent. he always rushes into things alone, he always has to be the hero, he always has to be the one to save the day. hell, this omake is immediately followed by the confession arc. where... you know.
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so what are we supposed to get out of this omake?
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teru's been doing everything on his own up to this point
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but he doesn't have to anymore
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QPR Steve and Evie fic
“You dumbass,” Evie grins at him, the gap in her front teeth showing, glossy hair framing her face like a dark halo. Her skin is the same deep bronze colour as his own, but her eyes are different, glittery black and almond shaped, framed in feathery lashes. Steve’s always thought her to be a real beauty, even if half the guys in Tulsa are too dumb to see it.
“Hey!” He feigns playful offence, but she isn’t wrong. He may be a dumbass but at least he’s self aware.
She laughs at him, taking a messy bite of her burger, and he loves her desperately. He’s not in love with her- there’s only one person for him, and he’s currently sitting two tables away, listening to Sandy Okensy talk about hair products like she’s some sort of goddess- but his friendship with Evie is everything. She understands him completely, never wants him to be anything but himself and still seems to like him for it. He wonders if she even has a clue how precious she is to him, a friend who never wants anything more from him than he can give. Boys and girls aren’t really supposed to be friends in Tulsa- it’s why everyone thinks he and Evie are dating and they don’t bother correcting anyone- but she’s one of the best friend’s he’s ever had.
“You are,” she insists through a mouthful of food, “you’re supposed to at least pretend you’re having fun with me instead of looking at Sodapop like that.”
A year ago hearing her even allude to his feelings about Soda would have sent such a powerful spike of fear through him that he would have lashed out immediately, but he’s long since grown comfortable with Evie knowing. He knows she’d never tell a soul, that she gets it. Evie isn’t the same kind of different as him but she is different too, has never loved anyone the way he loves Sodapop or Soda loves Sandy, is not sure she’s even capable of it, has never been consumed by any kind of lust. She always says friendship is enough for her. Steve wished his heart worked like that. Evie's type of loving seems like a blessing, while Steve has only ever known his own to be a curse. 
“I am having fun,” he tells her, and it’s true. For all it sucks to watch Sandy get everything his defective heart desires, he always loves hanging out with Evie. Fun seems to follow her around, a dog with its master, keeping her bright eyed and teasing even when she sometimes shouldn’t be, “it’s just hard sometimes, seeing him… with her, y’know?”
“No,” Evie shrugs, giving him a grin that managed to be both pitying and mirthful, inviting him to share the joke, the secret she’d entrusted only to him, “I don’t. Looks like it sucks though.”
Steve exhales heavily, the closest approximation he can get to a laugh. He doesn’t understand how she can make him being all stupid and heartsick seem funny, but she somehow always manages to.
“Oh fuck off.”
She throws a fry at him. He catches it and stuffs it in his mouth before tossing one of his own back. It lands in her lap before she picks it up, dunking it into her milkshake, pulling it out soggy and doused in vanilla ice cream before eating it.
He glares at her, not even bothering to hide his disdain.
“That’s vile.”
“You’re vile.” Her frown doesn’t even last ten seconds before her smile is back. She’s terrible at arguing, even playfully, always has been. He’s always loved that about her. For some reason he has a weakness for people filled with so much joy when they have so many reasons to be filled with hate. 
“Nice comeback.”
“Thanks, I thought so too.” She very pointedly misinterprets his sarcasm, and maintains eye contact as she very carefully selects the biggest fry left on her plate and slowly lowers it into her milkshake.
Disgusting.
Steve looks away as she very deliberately eats her second milkshake soaked fry, making exaggerated noises of enjoyment. She’s trying to get a rise out of him and he refuses to give her the satisfaction, even if her antics are earning them a few disapproving looks from the elderly couple a few booths away. 
Whatever. He shoots a glare at the old lady with the pinched look on her face. Geez, people should mind their own business. 
When he looks back Evie is watching him with fondness written all over her face, and he can feel his cheeks heat up, unused to such simple and obvious adoration. Even with Soda, whose love he never doubts even if it’s not the kind of love he wants, affection is never shown quite this obviously. Soda will pat him on the back or sling an arm around his neck, but only Evie ever looks at him like this.
“What?”
“You got your grumpy face on.”
His scowl deepens.
“I don’t have a ‘grumpy face.’”
“Yes you do.”
“No I don't.”
“Yes you do,” she scrunches up her nose and makes an exaggerated scowl, hunching her shoulders as she does so, “see? Like this.”
He scoffs, fighting another grin. How does she do that? 
“Shut up.”
“Nah.”
He shakes his head and she beams.
“Seriously though,” she says, “you don’t gotta scowl at anyone who looks at me funny. I know I’m weird.”
She says weird like it’s a dirty word. Steve bristles. 
“You ain’t weird!” He promises himself he’ll find out whoever told her that and teach them a lesson. Evie isn’t weird. Anyone who sees her light and her joy and her quirks and decides they mean she has something to answer for- they’re the weird ones. Steve doesn't know a lot but he knows anyone who thinks there's something wrong with Evie isn’t just weird, they’re plain stupid and crazy to boot.
“I am,” She shrugs, accepting it, though he can see a glimmer of insecurity in her dark eyes and it just about kills him, “everyone says so. Hell, you were there in the third grade when everyone called me ‘batshit Bylilly’.”
He was, and he remembers the fury it had invoked in him then, the same as it does now. Evie’s grandfather had died that year, and a lot of the things people called her crazy for were simply ways her family grieved. It wasn’t fair then, just like it still isn’t fair now, hating her just because she’s different. She’s better than any of the assholes who see her as less than because her mom’s family is from the rez and never tried to fit in in Tulsa. Fat load of good it would have done them anyway. Look at Steve’s own dad, trying to pretend like he didn’t grow up in Mexico when he still barely speaks any english. Maybe mom wouldn’t have left if his dad had tried to keep her home alive in his heart and his family, the way Evie’s family did, instead of forever trying to be something he’s not and trying to force them to be too. Besides, it’s not like Tulsa liked him anymore than they liked Evie, for all he tried to fit in. Like her, he’d always be a bit of an outsider.
“You ain’t weird,” Steve argues again, and it’s a familiar argument, but one he’s determined for her to someday believe him about, “not the way they say it. Like it’s a bad thing. Ain’t nothin’ about you is bad.”
“You’re real sweet, y’know that?”
“Shut up.” No one in their right mind has ever called him sweet.
“You are.” she insists, “Don’t worry. I ain’t gonna tell anyone and mess up your tuff greaser rep.”
He laughs and her eyes crinkle at the corners, back to their usual twinkly light. 
He’s gonna have to marry her someday. Not necessarily because he wants to but because if he doesn’t marry her then someone else will- and no matter how kind that person may be they’re going to want something Evie can never give them, and he can’t let that happen to her. Besides, it’s not like he could marry who he wanted even if Soda loved him back. And he could do far worse than Evie. There are far worse things than marrying someone as effervescent as her.
“Looks like those two are getting ready to go.” Evie inclines her head, and Steve follows her gaze to see that she’s right, Soda is waving over the waitress, Sandy giggling and tucked into his side. With a start he realizes Evie has managed to distract him so completely he'd forgotten all about Soda and his own envious heart. “You still feeling up to going to the movies with them? I can always fake a stomach ache if you’d rather just go home. Or we could go to a drag race. I think Angela said there’s gonna be one at the rodeo grounds tonight.”
Steve thinks about it. Usually when they double date with Soda and Sandy they eat separately like they did today, but the four of them walk over to the nightly double together to watch a movie. Sandy usually sits in Soda’s lap and he usually plays with her hair, and the sight of it always leaves a pit in Steve’s stomach that his heart drops into. It’s not exactly his favourite feeling in the world. 
But…Evie usually sits beside him when they go, and she always throws popcorn at any socs she doesn’t like, and challenges him to a burping contest once they get pop, even if Sandy scolds her for it. She’ll get cold as soon as the sun goes down and bully him into giving her his sweater, but share her cigs to make up for it, and she’ll mutter stupid jokes in his ear to make him laugh whenever there’s a serious scene on. He’ll hurt watching Soda, but with Evie there he’lll still manage to have fun.
“Nah,” he decides, “I’m still down to go to the movies.”
“Good!” Evie chirps, tossing a few coins on the table before Steve can even reach for his wallet, “It’s a horror film tonight and it’s supposed to be a bad one.  I wanna see how many folks are gonna faint at all the blood.”
“You reckon Sandy will?”
“Hmm,” Evie gives the blonde girl a considering look, “I dunno. Probably not. I bet she’ll scream though.”
“Twenty cents and a pack of Kools says she faints at the first murder scene.”
“I’ll take that bet.” They shake on it, and he follows her outside, listening to her talk about nothing in particular and stupidly glad she is here, with him, that she sees him as something worth caring about.
Soda might be his best friend, the love of his life, but Evie is his person in a way no one else could never hope to touch. She knows his soul and he knows hers and they love each other anyway.
It’s not any kind of fairytale. But maybe it’s something even better.
Evie wins their bet. Steve doesn’t really mind. 
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