#AND SOME OF MY ACTIVISM IRLS CALL ME INTELLIGENT TOO BUT LIKE

[violexides]

i have so many neat articulated thoughts on so many issues it is a shame that i accidentally convinced everyone i know in my personal life that i am extremely stupid in order to shield myself from failure and boost other people’s ego 👍

[jinx-blackout-84]

The Shady Kid From The Alleyway

Chapter 1

Tommy-centric SBI TNTduo Benchtrio fic

Dream stans DNI you won't like this one I made hum a manipulative villain.... like IRL

4016 words

TW for mentions of violence, mentions of blood, and cursing

Anything in slashes are in /italics/

Anything in dashes are -bold-

“Motherfucking fuck!”

Tommy saw a spark jump across his hand before he felt it. He snapped his hand away from the piece of metal in his hands that he was trying to install a computer chip in.

He picked it back up, sighing and glancing at the clock.

2:32 AM

His eyes were heavy, threatening to fall closed as he sat in his apartment’s kitchen. Picking up a screwdriver and the computer chip, he went back to fiddling with the metal gauntlet he had been staring at for the better part of four hours.

Does he sleep, or finish the gauntlet?

He weighed the two options in his head before conceding to finish the gauntlet on the grounds that he wouldn’t sleep anyways.

The light above the table reflected into his exhaustion-glassy eyes as he finished installing the microchip, leaving him with only a few pieces left to do. He first checked that a simple code Tubbo had written would work when run through the chip, activating a simple digital motor that would open one of the flasks attached to the gauntlet’s side, which would later be used to store gasoline to help Tubbo, in his words, “make arson more efficient, don’t you want my arson to be efficient, Tommy?”

Tubbo’s ability, the ability to conduct heat and electricity, made setting fires very easy for him even without the gasoline, which Tommy mentioned and was then debated by Tubbo. Do not debate Tubbo.

Tommy called over to the couch where insomniac Tubbo was pretending to sleep while Ranboo watched TV.

“We’re patrolling tomorrow, right?”

“Should be unless you fall off of a roof again. Think you can get that gauntlet done by tomorrow so I can code it?”

“Yeah, I just have to get a few panels screwed in and hook up the other digital motors and we should be good.”

“Awesome, let me know when you finish it up.”

“Yup, by the way, how’s the coding for my boots going?”

“Pretty shit.”

“Bugs?”

“Nope, just some new mechanics I don’t quite understand yet.”

Ranboo, enthralled moments ago by a documentary about art forgery, said, “He threw his computer at the wall earlier and I had to teleport it onto the bed so he wouldn’t break it.”

“I also had an English test today so I don’t want to hear it. That shit is difficult,” Tubbo grumbled.

“No, no, he has a point,” Tommy agreed. English was his worst subject back when he was in school.

Tommy chewed on the inside of his cheek as he hooked up a few wires from one of the motors to the CPU.

He slipped his hand into the gauntlet, flexing his fingers a few times before throwing it at Tubbo, who caught it without looking. Tommy was impressed.

“Try it on to see if it fits,” he said to Tubbo

Tubbo snarked back at him “Nope, it’s three sizes too small.”

Tommy threatened to make the gauntlet fit; and after watching Tubbo try on the gauntlet to make sure it fit, nodded, extremely proud of himself for being the most intelligent person to ever exist.

The stuffy air in the apartment was stale, and since it was not too cold outside, Tommy decided he needed some air, calling out to Tubbo and Ranboo,

“Hey, I’m heading up to the roof”

"Okay, don’t die again, thanks,” Ranboo replied, and Tubbo gave a thumbs-up.

Tommy opened the grimy window and pulled himself out onto the fire escape, which creaked concerningly under his weight. Scaling the rusted metal with expertise gained by years of practice, he finally got his hand over the upper lip of the apartment building’s roof.

The wind was quite harsh, cold against Tommy’s face, but not unwelcome after being at the table working on the gauntlet for so long. As he sat back on his hands, three things happened.

First, Tommy’s hand supporting his weight slid into a puddle and out from under him. Gross. Roof puddle.

Second, Tommy heard a scream from a nearby alleyway.

Third, he fell off the roof, directly into the alley the scream had come from.

“MOTHERFUCKER” He screeched, trying to throw out his hands to use his power.

A sudden gust of wind slowed his fall considerably, but hitting the concrete hurt like a bitch, which he said.

“That hurt like a bitch.”

“Looked like it,” A gruff and oddly robotic voice answered.

Tommy spun around quickly, making eye contact with a towering man. A man with a red cape and pig mask.

“Nope. I think the fuck not. I’m going back to my apartment. Fuck no.” Tommy said with conviction.

Just as he turned to leave, the man’s hand caught his hood, turning him around.

There was something cold under his chin, Tommy realized. Ah, it was a sword. Wonderful.

“You can’t just leave,” the man drawled “How do I know you won’t report me?”

“I promise that you, The Blood God, SBI and syndicate member, highest kill count villain, can handle being reported,” Tommy pointed out, before his brain could tell him to please shut the fuck up.

“You’re pretty mouthy for a hostage.” The Blood God drawled

After a moment of thinking, Tommy added “Please do not stab me. I do not have health insurance.”

“I am probably not going to stab you, just,” The Blood God pressed the heel of his hand against his forehead, “need a second to think.”

“Who screamed just now?” Tommy’s shoulders relaxed upon receiving the news that he was not to be stabbed, “was it you? Did you fall off of one of the roofs?”

After saying this, Tommy noticed a massive pool of blood below his feet.

“Oh, never mind,” he said cheerfully.

The Blood God sighed. He did not get paid enough for this. “Look, kid-”

“Fuck you I’m 16”

“-just, I don’t know, let me knock you out.”

“In a dirty alleyway? I cannot afford to be sick right now, bitch, and I probably already have AIDS from standing in this blood so thank you for that.”

Tommy tensed to run out of the alley, not liking his odds if he tried, but liking his odds if he got knocked out less.

“Okay, then just stay here or something. You can't get past me anyways."

"You can't hold me here, that's child abduction," Tommy said matter-of-factly.

He could maybe yell for Tubbo? Maybe Ranboo could teleport him out?

"Ah, well you see, as a criminal, I am hardly concerned about what is or is not a crime." The Bitch God responded.

Ah. The Bitch God had a point, Tommy conceded

Well. Tommy knew more than all men because he was far cooler than them, he decided.

Tommy said this to The Blood God, who looked down at him with disdain. The Blood God then tapped the side of his mask and spoke into it, "Yeah, so I found a kid," he paused, "Yup in the alleyway with me, no I cannot kill him. Yes we are still meeting here."

Tommy watched him, curious, and said, "who are you talking to?"

Okay. Shit. Tommy had to get out of this. How could he get out of this.

"None of your business," The Blood God replies

Tubbo and Ranboo were out of the question because The Blood God had heightened reflexes and would not hesitate to kill Tommy before Ranboo could teleport him out.

“Just tell me," Tommy protested

"You're like a toddler," The Blood God said, pinching his nosebridge.

"I AM NOT, BITCH," Tommy said, defending his honor against The Blood God's deceit.

"FINE I was talking to the rest of the Syndicate," The Blood God replied.

"You said they were coming here. Are you going to kill me?"

"Yes," the Blood God deadpanned.

Tommy hoped that was a joke "well good luck, I am the coolest and biggest man ever."

The Blood God looked over at him, raising his eyebrows and dropping the sword to his side.

Tommy’s posture relaxed the moment the sword was removed from his throat.

He felt the air in his fingers and imagined pulling it all towards him. The air pressure suddenly grew and he shot upwards, flying high enough he could've grabbed the top of the building if he hadn't been pulled back to the ground. Fuck.

Tommy hit the ground for the second time that night, and felt a thud reverberate through his ribs. They were for sure gonna kill him now. Panic clutched Tommy’s chest, though he tried not to let it show.

He heard an impressed whistle behind him.

Turning around, Tommy saw a large pair of wings and shining green eyes. Oh shit. The Raven.

"This the kid?" The man spoke and it had the same robotic sound as the Blood God’s. Voice changers then.

"Yep. Annoying as fuck, too," the Blood God Replied.

"You don’t want to do this" Tommy said, panic in his eyes.

"Ah, I see what you mean, mate, but he's just scared" The Raven replied.

"Oh no, he's very bitchy for a hostage. Give him a minute to get his attitude back." The Blood God said.

Tommy flicked his eyes over The Raven, trying to size him up under the cloak he wore.

And then, Tommy heard a snicker from the entrance of the alleyway.

And holy shit.

Tommy's favorite villain.

Mercury.

Mercury who could make anyone do his bidding with just a word. Who had never been apprehended, who fought with a smoothness Tommy had tried to emulate for years. Holy shit.

Mercury spoke, "so you can fly?"

"Well, sort of," Tommy said.

"What's your mutation?" Mercury asked.

"I can’t just tell you that" Tommy said.

Mercury rolled his eyes. "Well I can make you tell me, what is it?"

"Air pressure control."

The Blood God's eyes widened incrementally and he said, "damn."

"Do you have strong control?" Mercury questioned.

"Usually."

"Damn. That's a strong power." The Blood God said.

"I don't know, I can just jump around and fly a little"

"Then you're not using it right" Zephyrus said.

"Huh? Don't tell me how to use my powers bitch!" Tommy yelled, indignant.

"Oh, there's the attitude," The Blood God said.

Shit. He let his tongue get away from him. Shit he was dead. He got lower to the ground, pulling an exacto knife out of his hoodie pocket. It wasn’t much, but it might work if he was lucky.

Mercury snickered "Is that an Exacto knife?"

The Blood God began to speak "You’re gonna need more than tha-"

The crackle of a radio attached to The Raven's hip cut him off, and all of them fell silent to listen to it

“Hey, you need to get out of there, someone reported you.”

Three faces turned to Tommy.

"How would I report you? I left my phone inside. Plus, I would rather /not/ help the heroes if I have the choice. " He said.

"What do you mean, mate?" The Raven asked.

"They're not as great as everyone says. Even I know that, and I didn't even finish high school," Tommy muttered

"Huh, you an anarchist?" The Blood God asked.

"Not an anarchist, just a hero-anti I guess. I mean I could care less, they protect us in Logstedchire about the same amount as they would if they weren't here. Dosen't matter much if they're around or not," Tommy shrugged.

"Huh," The Raven said.

Mercury spoke into his mask, but there was something different in his voice than when he spoke to Tommy, “Hey Ace, can you figure out who reported us?”

The radio crackled again, “I mean I can try.”

"Well," Mercury said, "that's our cue. Bye kid"

He watched as Zephyrus took off carrying The Blood God, spiraling into the sky. Mercury used some smoke bombs on his belt to cloud the alleyway, gone by the time the smoke dissipated.

Tommy did not want to be in the alleyway. It was full of diseases and blood.

He walked through the entrance to the apartment building, disheveled and tired, and decided to think about that interaction later.

He then walked back through his apartment door, Tubbo's head popping up to look at him.

"Why didn't you come in through the fire escape?" Tubbo asked.

Shit. He needed a good lie.

"Fell off the fuckin roof again," Tommy grumbled.

Ranboo spoke, muffled by the pillow his face was squished into, "called it."

"Why is there blood on your shoes?" Tubbo questioned.

"I dunno man, there was blood in the alleyway." Tommy said.

"You're suspect."

Tommy grumbled some more.

He glamced at the clock

3:31

"I'm going to fuckin bed."

"Not until you shower," Tubbo said, "You have that interview tomorrow"

"Fuckin fine." Tommy replied.

---------

Wilbur tapped his pencil against his notebook as he sat criss-cross in his bed.

He had sheets of paper strewn around him, trying to draft a song he had been writing for awhile, but he couldn't think.

He couldn't seem to focus on the song when every time he blinked he remembered how that kid had looked at him. Something in the kid struck Wilbur as familiar, and he looked at his Mercury mask sitting on his bedside table.

Eventually, he gave up on trying to write new lyrics, knowing it was a fruitless effort.

He walked into the kitchen, seeing the clock sitting in the corner of the kitchen.

4:13 AM

He rubbed his eyes as he grabbed a glass, jumping when he saw a looming figure enter the kitchen. Techno's pink hair looked orange in the low light that shone through the kitchen.

"Couldn't sleep?" Techno asked.

"Couldn't stop thinking about that kid," wilbur replied, filling up his glass with ice cubes.

"Reminded me of you, you know," Technoblade said.

"That's funny. He made me think of you," Wilbur replied

----------

Tommy had not slept. He had laid in bed staring at the roof, which was so familiar by now that he thinks he could point out a new crack or stain instantly.

The room had been quiet, and Tommy's mind had made up for it, turning his interaction with the villains over in his head over and over again.

He eventually dragged himself out of bed, looking to the red numbers on the clock

4:47 AM

Tomorrow was Wednesday. Well, technically it was already Wednesday, but he didn't have to be at the interveiw till 11 AM. Shuffling around the kitchen for a moment, he sat down at the table with a mug of coffee and opened his laptop.

It was old, but it worked well enough as he tried to model some peices for printing on the 3d printer him and Tubbo had built shortly after becoming vigilantes.

He was making a new mask for Ranboo with night and thermal vision and a voice changer. He and Tubbo already had voice changers, but the pieces for thermal and night vision were too expensive for them to all have it, so he gave it to Ranboo, the least likely to break it. Tubbo shouldn't have to code this one much, so maybe if tommy could make it quickly enough Ranboo could have it by Saturday.

He worked on the rims of the goggles, making sure they were proportionate and would fit Ranboo, before sending the file off to the printer to realize.

The clock blinked.

5:34 AM.

Tommy blinked.

------------

The carpet in the waiting room had a stain in it, Tommy noticed. The rest of the carpet was an even grey, but the stain was red-brown. Gross.

It was 10:49

He was fiddling with the spacebar on his laptop as he tried to focus back onto a new support tech item he was supposed to be designing was a dart gun that you didn’t have to reload.

His current idea, the darts were stacked into the gun like toothpicks in a toothpick holder. It could probably shoot about five times between reloads. This was unrelated to the fact that Tommy had accidentally stabbed himself with a dart in the middle of a fight and passed out six times to date. He didn’t need help reloading a dart gun. He just thought it would be cool. Yup.

He rubbed his hand over the band-aid under his chin from The Blood God’s blade. He considered the interaction. Why hadn’t the villains killed him? Why did The Blood God say his power was strong? Tommy heard footsteps and snapped his laptop shut. Someone came out of a door to his left his glasses, with odd red and blue lenses, caught on the fluorescent light. His nametag read “Jack.”

The man nodded at him, asking “You Thomas Innit?”

“Yup.”

“Awesome, your interview is this way, follow me.”

Tommy trailed after Jack, tempted to ask about the glasses.

“Hey, why are your glasses like that?” Tommy paused, “not to be rude. Sorry.”

“Nah you’re good mate. It’s part of my power. I can vaguely see people’s emotions based on color, and the glasses help to get rid of it. It’s kind of distracting and feels like an invasion of privacy so I like having them but I don’t have to wear them,” Jack explained.

“Dude that’s fuckin’ awesome,” Tommy replied, faltering. “Am I allowed to say that here?”

“I mean I would avoid saying it in front of Bad but yeah,” Jack said.

“Awesome.”

They came up to a door and Tommy took a deep breath.

“Nervous?” Jack asked kindly.

“Fuckin’ terrified” Tommy replied with a huffed laugh.

“Well, I’ll put in a good word for you.”

“Thanks, big man.”

“Oh, I never said my word meant anything, I’m just an assistant,” Jack smiled.

“Still nice to know I’ve got at least one of you bastards on my side.”

Jack smiled again and walked away.

Tommy pushed open the door.

The first thing he noticed was not the floor-to-ceiling windows or the giant desk.

It was the man’s eyes.

They were a bright green, cold and calculating as they watched the door.

He also noticed how they widened in shock when he saw Tommy.

Tommy looked at his shirt to make sure he didn’t have something on it. He knew it wasn’t a suit or anything fancy but he tried to dress up a little and wore a collared shirt with jeans.

By the time Tommy looked up, the man had regained his composure, and the confidence on his face made Tommy wonder if he had even seen the man’s shock at all.

He walked into the room a bit further.

“Hello, Thomas,” The man spoke, with warmth in his voice as his glare softened into a more laid-back type of playfulness “Please sit. You’re here for the interview, correct?”

Tommy sat, and when he spoke, he did not drawl his words, giving them a crisp lightness, “Yes, I’m glad you could make time to meet with me.”

“My name is Philza and I will be interviewing you for a job as a Tech Department Manager," The man said.

Philza looked at Tommy and spoke, "what makes you qualified for this job, Thomas?"

"I think you can see that for yourself, Big man," Tommy said.

Philza smiled.

"Yes," he picked up Tommy's resume, "I can see you have a degree in Engineering from L'manburg Technology and Mathematics University. by the way, how old were you when you graduated high school?"

"Oh," Tommy paused, "I was fifteen."

This, Tommy knew, was a lie. He had no degree, had never finished high school.

You know, the kind of stuff that happens when you were supposed to be dead.

"Now, these are unusual circumstances because our last technology manager was killed by villains, and we currently have no one on staff that could take over the job.”

Tommy nodded to show he was listening.  Now, I’ve read over your resume, and It’s impressive, I’m not going to lie, especially for a, oh how old were you?”  

“Eighteen, nineteen in a month or so.”  

Philza smiled sharply. “Ah, yes, how could I have forgotten. So, you were emancipated at sixteen, correct?”  

Tommy nodded.

“Yes, I had a rough home life, so I applied for emancipation. I think this job could help.me get my footing.”  

“It’s not an easy process, takes some determination,” 

Philza said, ignoring Tommy’s attempt to change the subject.  

“It’s easier when It’s the only way you’ll make it to eighteen,” Tommy said with false calm, letting some of his Upper L’manburg accent slip, quickly adjusting his voice to have the definitive posh lilt.  

Philza backed down.  

“So,” Philza said, grinning, “Why this job?”  

Tommy leaned back in the chair. He could do interviews now that the questions about his past were over. “Well,” he began “I think I have a fitting skillset and could flourish in this position,” he ignored as his brain made a that’s what she said joke, “I think I could be an asset and I have been working in technology and engineering since I was sixteen. I am responsible and work well in leadership and would love to collaborate with the people here to produce new and innovative designs to improve the-” he faltered for a moment, “the capabilities and influence of heroes,” He finished.   

Boom, Perfect answer, Tommy thought to himself.

 “Huh. Okay then mate,” Philza paused, leveling his eyes to meet Tommy’s again and he felt himself pierced by the viridian gaze.   

Philza continued, “What do you think about heroes, Thomas?”   

Tommy paused.  “Well, they keep the community safe and help to stop villain attacks and are wonderful role models. If I had a better Mutation, I would want to be one, but I just aspire to represent them as much as I can in my day-to-day life,” Tommy lied, talking with his hands like the people in upper L’manburg. “I think they do a great job of showing how we can all come together to prote-”  Philza put a hand up, “Cut the shit”  Tommy balked, “I beg your pardon?”  Philza made eye contact with him

"Your accent is good," Philza said.

"Pardon?" Tommy asked.

"The accent's great, but Upper L'manburg citizens talk with their hands. Yours were in your lap the whole time."

Tommy froze.

"You can cut the shit, mate," Philza said.

“What are you suggesting?” Tommy asked, a threat veiled as politeness.  

“I think you know exactly what I’m suggesting, Thomas,” Philza said evenly, pausing, “I want to know your opinions on heroes. Say what you think not just recite some news article from Upper L’manburg to me.”  

“Well, I am entirely indebted to the heroes of L’manbur-”  

Philza set his hand down on the table, not slamming it, but hard enough to make a noise.

Tommy flinched, watching as Philza stored that information.  

“I said cut the shit.”  

Tommy laughed, letting his accent fall away. “Okay, you want to know what I think of heroes? I think that if they cared about my side of L’manburg, like Logstedchire and theFarlands half as much as they do the center district and Upper district, then L’manburg would be crime free. Instead, I have face-to-face encounters with the villains they’ve sworn as their enemies in alleyways full of blood while they’re off saving some millionaire’s watch so they can put it on the fucking news. I think if they really want vigilantes gone, they should do their goddamn job so teenagers and non-trained citizens in masks don’t have to do it for them. I think I should be able to sleep through the night in my Logstedchire apartment without being woken by fucking gunshots. I think they do it for the money and the fame and spit on anyone who dares question them. That’s what I FUCKING think.”  

Philza looked at him with something Tommy couldn’t decipher.  “We’ll call you to let you know if you got the job,” he said, no tells of any emotion in his voice.  

Fuck. Tommy had needed this job and he had gone and fucked it up.

God fucking damn it.  

Tommy passed Jack on the way out, who gave him a questioning look, and Tommy shook his head slightly.

Jack’s shoulders sagged. He gave him a sad nod and waved as Tommy left.

Tommy waved back, holding back tears. 

[yes0another0outsiders0blog]

Finally rereading The Outsiders like I said I would. I think I'll probably be doing a chapter a day, even though it's short enough that I could probably bust it out in one or two sittings. I'm really prone to burnout and I am trying to write a bit each day and I have a job to work and adult tasks to do and such, so a chapter sounds like a good goal with that considered.

Also, I'm sick as a fucking dog while reading this first chapter. Not relevant, just a little fun fact.

Anyway, have my thoughts while I read it!!

The Outsiders Reread : Chapter One Notes

less than a page in and I'm already tired of Ponyboy being Not Like The Other Girls

he's 14, that's positive, I should not be able to stomach a well-written 14 year old on account of them acting very 14, but also shut the fuck up

"yeah, I read books, unlike EVERYONE ELSE" go to hell

not to intentionally misread and water down a character, but Ponyboy saying "but sometimes I just don't use my head" is literally all you need to fucking know. that's it, that's the book

we get it, Pony, you come from a very hot family, yall are all conventionally attractive. paragraphs, ffs

also, I love that Soda doesn't drink. that he has a drunk on life attitude. could absolutely never be me, love that for him, unfortunately I fw Two-Bit's vibes with alcohol a bit more--

and the fact that Soda is the only one that can tease Darry.

there isn't a single positive thing said about Dallas besides "I didn't like him, but he was smart and you had to respect him." but frfr he's so great.

but if I met any of these fuckers irl Soda is the only one that I'd have a chance in hell at not hating. and that's only because he seems like he'd be enough of an emotionally/socially intelligent people-pleaser to actively try to get someone to like him, lol.

kinda salty about Johnny being called the gangs pet, wtf Ponyboy. not like he's one person's main reason to live, is SUCH fucking ride or die, later kills a man for Pony. but yeah, he's a pet. he tags along. what the fuck ever, man. if anything, Ponyboy (you know, the person that's mainly part of the gang bc he tags along with his older brothers, the BABY of the group, the quiet & sensitive one that doesn't have a single braincell outside of pure booksmarts) is the pet. like, sure, Johnny has trauma and is really quiet, but let's be so fr right now.

despite what is said in the book (bc it's Ponyboy's pov so we only get his perspective, obviously) I'm sure Darry gets after Soda too.

also, oldest children that become parental figures in some degree are allowed to be mean to their baby siblings. it's our right. as a 20-something year old with a young teen baby brother with common sense in the negatives, I am very biased in saying that Darry is always objectively 100% correct in every situation ever (heavily exaggerating, I just relate a lot).

forever mad that we don't get more Sylvia!!! my most random fav!!! so much love to her!!! she's basically an oc with how little we get of her and how many headcanons I have, I don't even really like the main fanon version of her either, but GOD she's my girl fr

NO BECAUSE WHEN I WAS 14 IF SOMEONE PULLED THEIR OWN KNIFE TO DO A DISSECTION THE WAY MY TONGUE WOULD BE DOWN THEIR THROAT. Ponyboy, babygirl, you did NOT deserve for that girl to hate on you like that. RUDE.

"Dallas deserves everything he gets, and should get worse, if you want the truth." agreed, that's my though process as I'm making the nastiest headcanons for him. my life's goal is to make this man suffer or make him into a loser, and all my hcs do both

breaks my heart so much how Ponyboy talks about Darry, leave my boy ALONE, dude!!!

my headcanons for Darry are usually the exact opposite of my hcs for Dally, I just want this guy to have the very best ong. I'll get so unrealistic with it too, bitch, YES I'll give you an absolutely stunning sugar mommy, babe!! just stop being stressed and stop having bad things happen for a few minutes!!! I almost struggle making in character, good headcanons for him because I just want to give him fluff and filler only and nothing else--

[non-binary-laurie-strode]

Anyway, while I'm on the topic, it's really interesting how gen 8 is the gen I was least into in ages.

Introspective stuff under the cut

I first dropped out of Pokémon in 2010ish, and I thought I was just done with the series then! It wasn't about the quality of the games (in fact, Black and White are imo the perfect Pokémon games), but just so much irl badness was happening that I... didn't have the energy for it. And of course I was silly and was on a small degree like, I'm too old for this now! (Which in retrospect... lol.) But it roped me back into it before the end of the generation with BW2 competitive igniting my love for the competitive end of the games. (The microcommunities that popped up at the end of gen 5 were truly beautiful. Too bad they fell apart in gen 6, but while they were there, whew.)

And then gen 7 was the peak of my modern-era Poké-obsession. I was so deep in it! I was part of a very active friend group, I was respected and valued within that group, and I had responsibilities within that group! I was writing whole intelligent articles about nuances of competitive play! I was so, so, so deep into it.

Towards the end of gen 7, irl stuff got really bad and distracting again, and then it got really, really amazing when I moved in with Mack just a couple months before SWSH. We were doing movies and playing games and I had an incredibly active social life for the first time in a long time! I didn't need to care about that stuff anymore because I had a whole new world open to me!

I of course played SWSH. And I had an amazing time on my first playthrough! The story is very generic and very basic, and the graphics aren't the best, but I did love the designs of the new Pokémon as a whole. (Scorbunny, my beloved!)

But there was this little thing just after SWSH called the pandemic. So much for that whole new open world, right? In some universes, I would have been pushed back hard into SWSH during that time, but there was another game competing for the pandemic pedastal: Animal Crossing. And Animal Crossing was the perfect game for that time: I had been into AC before (and in some ways still miss New Leaf features that didn't make it to NH), but everyone was playing it, and it hit the correct themes for the pandemic in a way that Pokémon just couldn't! So I went really hard for Animal Crossing and abandoned Pokémon for a long time in 2021.

Plus, the fandom imploded and went ballistic (in a bad way) over SWSH and Dexit and everything, so I just didn't want to connect with those people anymore. (The early reactions to SV have been so positive that this might be genuine turn for the online fandom, but I'm so suspicious and jaded that I'm like 👀 I'll wait and see how you all feel in three months!) They were so filled with hate and pouncing on any flaw or perceived problem and it became exhausting to exist in those digital spaces when before it had been a genuine joy to be there. (Again, late BW2 era was peak online Pokémon in the wide sense.)

And then there was BDSP. We moved into our house on the day it was released, so obviously there was a lot of stress during that time to start with and... they're not great games on their own. I mean, I think they're fine, not at all as bad as the fandom wants to believe, but they're still really mediocre. I know, they weren't made by Game Freak, they were licensed out, but it still kinda hurt to be so thoroughly whelmed by them.

But Arceus. Arceus. Now that was the experience I had been waiting for. It was everything I had been wanting from Pokémon in the contemporary game sense. After I had drifted from SWSH and had been disappointed by BDSP, I wasn't expecting to love Arceus so much out the gate. It was easily the most ambitious and creative game they had put out since BW, and I soaked up every minute of it. It instantly kicked me back into that gen 7 hype space where I just couldn't wait to see what happened next. Add in that Animal Crossing ended updates for NH and everything had come full circle.

And now SV comes out in a week and a half! And I'm so excited! Nervous, but excited!

[chemicalarospec]

hi im a terf misandrist following you . just letting you know i will be spreading your posts to radblr and everyone will know youre one of us :)

On the off chance you take a look at this response (let's be honest, who's really gonna follow-up on a hate anon, but you did say you're my follower), let's start with the important thoughts I have for you: what is it that makes the men evil? The testostrone? Why, then all women are evil too, because that's a universal hormone! The Y chromosome? I'm not famaliar with TERF ideology but what about intersex women, who were raised as women and live as women and might not even know? Do TERFs reject these poor, innocent women, victim to biological diversity? Is it the fact that men occupy the privileged position in society? Well, then if you enact your dream society and subjugate men and institute a matriarchy, wouldn't all women become evil?

And spend a moment thinking about how much it hurts to be known as someone you're not -- something I assume you understand since you appear to be attempting to threaten me with it. Think about hating your body, and how horrible that would be if you felt that way about the place in society you take. Why do you inflict such pain upon people, for such little benefit? You try to protect the norms of society or the division of men and women, yet both of those things have been very different across cultures and times.

From your attitude, I may be talking to the King TERF themself here, but, hey, it's worth a shot. Consider these things.

Okay now on to the normal response (if you want to get in a catfight and not debate, start here) because, despite how much I try, I am a person of very little patience and sometimes I just want to let it out.

I love how you started out so frightening and then just gave the least impactful threat of all time. I guess that would be scary to people who TERFwatch all the time and are terrified as being percieved as bigoted idiots? But, believe it or not, I actually have more than one active brain area and didn't even think to feel fear at that. And I instantly took "everyone" to mean "all FARTs" (usually I don't deal in useless insults but now really seems like the time) because most of this website already has yall blocked and nobody likes TERFs but TERFs. Hey, maybe that's a hint that your ideology doesn't make any sense in the real world when you take a step back!

If "everyone knowing [I'm] a [person completely lacking empathy and intelligence]" is your goal I don't see how you will succeed because I have both those traits and share none of your views. But if you're offering to give me some free notes, I do have some other unpopular opinions, and I'd love to strike a deal, whip up a few posts, and convert all TERFs to being anti- magic crystals, witchcraft, astrology belief, and pseudoscience/anti-science attitudes in general! Just like your beliefs, these ones are not popular with feminism at large, which is a sign you should adopt them! (However, unlike your beliefs, mine do not involve making the world unsafe for for people who believe differently (not that I respect them, but I can let them live freely), so maybe they're not cruel enough for you.)

In any case, as I love blocking people and investigating things, you've made me look forward to carefully examining my followers to root you out :)

A threat for a threat is only a fair trade, so here's my threat to you: One day, you're going to mature. You'll realize that if your beliefs are shared by people who don't "believe" in evolution and climate change and tell people to "go back to where you came from" -- and believed for the same reasons --, they aren't the most measured and sensible convictions. You're going to realize that hating any one group of people and calling them evil, especially for something they cannot change, is worse than offensive and bigoted: it's illogical.

(And make friends IRL. I think that would help you get a sense of reality.)

[supercorpkid]

A normal day in the Luthor-Danvers house.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader

Word count: 1780.

“So then, I took my glasses off, and I swear it was not intentional, but my heat vision went off and I-I blew it right off of Lena’s hand. Man, she was pissed.” You smile and Jamie tries to hold a laughter and it comes out like a squeaky noise.

“Damn. Not a dull moment in the Karlena house.” She recovers herself and smiles to the ground while you consider what she just said.

“Karlena?” You furrow your brows, confused.

“Karlena, duh. Kara plus Lena.” She explains like you didn’t understand in the first place. That wasn’t the problem, you understood.

“What? Jamie, that’s terrible. We all know SuperCorp is like, a lot better.” You wave her off. “Besides, we do have dull moments. It’s not everyday we’re fighting aliens, destroying things or inventing things. Some days we just… Exist.”

“Oh, please. You three wouldn’t know what it’s like to just ‘exist’ if it hit you in the face.” Jamie crosses her legs and arms like she is trying to impose her thought. Sure, most of the times the things that happen with your family are not something people can relate to, but it’s not like you’re aliens… Wait. Nevermind.

“Excuse me.” You try to sound offended. “I admit we’ve been through a lot.”

“Mhm.” She strongly agrees with her head.

“But we’re still pretty much normal most of the time.”

“I think it’s cute you’re trying to convince me that, like I don’t know everything about you and your moms.” She gives a pretentious smile. “But if it will make you feel any better… Why don’t you tell me about the next ‘normal’ day you guys have?”

“Ok, mhm, sure.” You agree with your head taking this as a challenge. And you’re not one to back out from a challenge. “Next time we have a normal day, I’ll tell you all about it, and you’ll see we’re just another normal family.” As soon as your finish with the sentence, you see Maya coming at your direction and both of you just change the subject immediately.

“Hey cuties.” She says with a smile, and you push your bag to the side so you can make room for her on your lunch table. “You cool?”

You give her a nod, and a quick kiss, before looking at Jamie and thinking about the conversation. She wants normal? You will show her normal.

It is very annoying to you that it takes a whole week before you can declare one day as a normal one. And this is a normal day around your house, you know, one filled with dull moments:

“Kid, time to get up.” Kara knocks on your door serving, as always, as your wake-up call. You roll to the side, not getting up, wanting five more minutes.

And as always, five minutes later:

“Come on, babygirl. School. Let’s go.” Lena opens the door and you finally open your eyes.

“Nooo.” You complain, making Lena give you a soft smile in return.

“Yes, come on. It’s like this every day.” She doesn’t leave until you’re up on your feet despite all of your protests. “We’re leaving in 15.”

You do your entire shower-get dressed-brush teeth routine using your super speed, so you’re downstairs in less than five minutes.

“Hey, babyface.” Kara holds your face, when you’re passing through her, and she kisses your temple. “Had a good night?”

“Eh. It was decent.” You untangle yourself from her and go to the fridge. “We’re out of milk.”

“No, we’re not.” Lena’s voice comes from behind you. You turn around to look at her, all suit up. She has a maroon suit on, and her hair is tied up in a very tight ponytail. She looks very impressive which is normal for her. “Look carefully.”

“I did!” You answer and you see her coming to the fridge. She puts her hand inside and takes a carton of milk out.

“Milk, daughter. Daughter, milk.” She says ironically and you close the refrigerator door with a huff sound. “Eat fast, I have a meeting I can’t be late to.”

“You always have meetings.” You go to the table and sit next to Kara. “And you can never be late to any of them.” You pour cereal into a bowl, and then milk. “It’s like this every day.”

“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, baby.” Kara states.

“It might not, but it does sustain me.” You open a big smile. You still eat fast, though.

Lena drives you to school. This whole driving with her started when Kara was still terrified to let you walk alone. Now, she’s a little less scared, but you kept getting ready on time, and Lena never said anything to make you believe she wants this to stop, so you just keep riding with her. Because having those 10 minutes in the car ride with her it’s good, even when you’re distracted.

“How’s school now that you’re back?” She asks while staring straight ahead, and when the answer doesn’t come, she looks back at you. She takes one hand out of the wheel, and pokes your cheek. “Hey! What’s more interesting in your phone than me?”

“You don’t want me to answer that.” You joke with a smile, and you hear a sarcastic ‘ha ha’ in return. “School is still there.”

“Baby…”

“I’m joking, jeez.” You put your phone away and pat her shoulder trying to calm her. “Everything is fine, mom. I got my grades back up, and everyone loves me now.”

“Yeah?”

“No, I’m just kidding again.” You laugh and she makes an annoyed sound that you decide to ignore. She stops the car in front of the school, and you see Jamie getting out of her mami’s momvan. “Well, gotta go. Thanks for the ride.” You kiss her cheek. “Love ya, have a great day!”

“You too, babygirl.” Lena smiles back at you, watching you getting out of the car. “Don’t break anything, I love you!”

You close the door and turn on your heels, rolling your eyes. If you had a dollar for every time Lena said ‘don’t break anything’, you would be the billionaire by now.

“Hey weirdo.” You catch up to Jamie.

“Hey dipshit.” She answers, putting her phone back in her pocket. “Did you do the chemistry homework? Can I copy?”

Oh, if you had a dollar for that too.

School goes on like it always does, and you can’t help but think that it really doesn’t matter that you have superpowers and a not-so-average intelligence. School is still school for everyone. Kids have pretty much the same problems, questions and indecisions. And you’re just another one in that sea of moody teenagers going from one class to the other.

It's great that you have a girlfriend now. And even if that still doesn’t feel like a normal thing in your life, you two have fallen into a routine very quickly. You see each other when you arrive at school, have a few classes together, have lunch with Jamie in the same table you’ve always seated on, and when the school is over you two steal some moments alone, before either of you have to go home. Today it’s no different.

You don’t go to L Corp. You have lots of homework and reading to do, and you also don’t have any idea for an invention, which is, surprise surprise, also very common for you. Jamie thinks you’re always flooding with ideas and that couldn’t be further from the truth. On your ordinary days, you work very hard and things still don’t go anywhere. So, you just go home and do your boring school activities.

“Hey, whatcha working on?” Kara asks, opening your bedroom door, hours after you sat down, and you look up from your books.

“Homework.” You take off your glasses feeling your vision blurry on the sides. Kara walks in and kisses the top of head.

“Why don’t you take a break, huh?” She asks, like she can see it on your face you’ve been here long enough, and you’re tired already. “Look what I've got you.” Kara gives you a donut and you smile at her.

“You know me so well.” You take it from her hands and eat fast. “Thanks, momma.”

“Come help us with dinner.” She asks and you look at your books deciding you’ve studied enough. You follow her to the kitchen where Lena is already cooking. “Look who I found nose buried in her books.”

“Oh, it’s our little nerd.” Lena chuckles and she kisses your temple when you’re close enough. “Did you clean your bedroom?”

“Mmm…” You haven’t, but you don’t want to tell her that. But then again, Kara was just inside your room, so you can’t exactly lie. You look at Kara for support and she shakes her head agreeing, like she’s giving you permission to say yes. “Mhm, yeah.”

“Ok.” Lena puts your hair behind your ear and smiles softly. “You can clean up after you help us with dinner.”

You huff while pouting, making both of them giggle at you.

“How did you know I was lying?”

“Oh, that part was actually really simple, because you see… I’m not an idiot.” She winks at you and you agree with your head. “Now, why don’t you help me?” Lena points at the top shelf. “Can you grab that bowl for me?”

“Why? You can’t reach it?” You joke, making Kara wheeze a laughter behind you, and it takes her a whole minute to recover from that. Even with Lena looking at her like she is going to commit murder if she doesn't stop.

“Don’t sass me.” It’s Lena’s response and you fly a little off the ground to grab what she asked for.

So, you all finish making dinner, and eating it, while talking about your days. And that includes Lena’s boring meetings with people who know way less than she knows, but still try to convince her that she’s wrong. Includes Kara’s interviewing various uninteresting people to the unexciting news piece that she’s writing. And your tedious classes, and uncreative ideas. The day is so dull, there wasn’t even any Supergirl emergency.

When dinner is done, and the kitchen is clean, they make their way to the couch, and you clean your bedroom using your super speed, so you can join them right after. The three of you just watch TV, and laugh, and exist.

If you’re being honest, you would trade all the kidnappings, assassination attempts, saving National City emergencies, to these dull days, easily. Because just existing next to them it’s so freaking good, you don’t need anything else.

Notes:

Thank you to my sister (not irl) @supercorpdaughter for this prompt :)

[alirhi]

Loki ranting

Okay. I had this thought in my head of like just compiling links of all the Loki shit I've posted/reblogged so far so that when I get into a conversation about the show and how it fucking disgusted me, I can just be like "here. here's this masterlist post, go read all this shit. This is my entire argument, and not only mine, but a lot of stuff posted by people far more intelligent and level-headed and eloquent than I am, whom I happen to agree with." Because the alternative is constantly getting fired up all over again, and that is exhausting.

BUT! I'm stupid and don't know how tumblr works. Apparently I can't just be like "give me all the Loki-tagged shit I've got" I can only search all the Loki-tagged shit on all of tumblr. And I'm not scrolling back through all of my posts. I talk too fucking much for that shit 😂

So, I'll try to remember all of my grievances with how the MCU has treated Loki, and all of the excellent posts made by other, equally upset fans, and put it all together here under this nice, neat little cut for everyone else's sanity and scrolling convenience...

For people who actually read my shit fairly regularly - bless you, you crazy, patient people. I love you! - this is going to be a lot of repetition of shit you've already read. Probably at least twice. I'm passionate and I have a terrible memory lol. Sorry.

Anyway, first, for those who don't know me and haven't been following my explosions of rage for the past couple of months, some quick background: I do not read comic books, so Loki's Marvel comic canon means nothing to me. I know almost nothing about it. The reason I'm so in love with the character in the MCU is because I am an eclectic witch and the deity I've actively loved and worshiped the longest in my life (literally for as long as I can remember) is Loki. So when he was mentioned in The Mask, I squeed. When they named Matt Damon's character after him in Dogma, I cheered.

When Thor came out in 2011, I just about died from happiness. I was hungry for any representation of this underappreciated god, no matter what it was. I didn't even bitch about how underpowered he was, because at least he was there. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.

I can hear anyone reading this going "Why Loki? Isn't he, like, evil? Like basically the Norse version of The Devil?" Because I heard all this shit irl all the fucking time. And no. So let me give you a quick rundown of who Loki actually is.

Loki is a Trickster God. He's often referred to as the God of Mischief. He is not and never was evil, simply chaotic and hedonistic. Loki Laufeyjarson was the son of Laufey (that's mama; they changed her to a man for some reason in the movie) and Fárbauti. Right from the start, from his name, we get a sign of how Loki goes against traditional norms of the time, because in Norse culture, families were patrilineal, and surnames were "son/daughter of father" (which would have made him Loki Fárbautitason), not the mother. But Loki's surname is matrilineal. Feminist icon woo! lol

Though he's a Jotunn, Loki is counted among the Gods (Aesir) in Norse tradition. Depending on his mood, he is alternately helpful or disruptive to the other Gods. I'm not gonna sit and teach a whole text class on him lol but I'll use my favorite example of Misunderstood Loki - the conception of Sleipnir!

So, get this shit. This is also part of why I DO NOT follow Odin and never fucking will (a very small part, but still part of the reason). So, the other Norse Gods are petty motherfuckers, and they wanted some shit built but didn't want to pay the dude doing the building. So they were like "okay, if you can get it done in X amount of time, we'll pay you, but if you can't manage it NO MATTER WHAT, this whole thing is free." And they made sure he had NO help, nothing but him, his materials, and his Very Good Horsey. And this guy and his horse were fucking BAMFs. So it was looking like he was definitely gonna get it done in time, and Odin was like "nah, fuck that shit. I'm cheap." and so he sent Loki to distract the work horse. Loki transformed into a mare and lured the horse away, got fucked, got pregnant, gave birth to the 8-legged (for some reason) horse Sleipnir. Odin rides Loki's son into battle. Um. Kay.

So Loki helped Odin be a petty mf, and Odin got himself a new pet out of the deal.

Oh, also, because he's smart af and a shapeshifter and a master magician and genderfluid, Loki "fails" to fit the super fucking toxic and narrow Norse/Aesir view of "a real man". He prefers intelligence and manipulation to solve problems rather than violence, he's not afraid to behave like a clown if it gets shit done, and that grosses the Aesir out, so they constantly ridicule him for being "less than a man".

Loki is the God of the outcast and the misunderstood. The marginalized people from all walks of life. He is the God of the LGBT community. In modern terms, he's pansexual, polyamorous (married to Sigyn and they are deeply in love, but boy gets around and I've never seen any indication that Sigyn gives a shit) and genderfluid.

Okay. Focus, Ali. This is part of why I usually post multiple rants instead of one big long one XD The longer I ramble, the more I get sidetracked and forget the original point.

So. Loki's awesome, and being a Trickster, is powerful as all fucking hell. There's not much he can't do.

And now we come to Thor (the movie, not the deity). Loki's there! 24-year-old Ali is spazzing! All is right with the world!

Oh lord, they've actually done him justice?! Amazing! He's complex and nuanced and emotional, just like the real Loki! I loved this movie. Loved. It. The climactic thing with trying to blow up Jotunheim never really made much sense to me until someone made an excellent point the other day about Loki being raised in a racist society that was racist against his own race, he just didn't know it yet, poor child. Baby Thor was never corrected when he pledged to commit mass genocide, so Baby Loki probably absorbed the lesson then that Jotunns=evil and killing them all will win his father's love. Anyway, 2011 Loki was a beautiful, heartbreaking portrayal of the God I've loved all my life and spent 24 years longing to see depicted on the big screen.

Then The Avengers happened. And I saw another Loki very close to Norse mythology - mainly, how he's treated. In the beginning of the movie, he's sick, exhausted, and in pain. He can hardly stand, he stumbles and needs help when he walks. He was very obviously tortured, and the sickly blue light of the scepter's control is in his eyes. That gets less and less pronounced as the movie goes on, showing Loki working his way free of it, but in the beginning, he's a mess. Because he was tortured and used by Thanos. Marvel directly confirmed this, and that he was under the scepter's/Mind Stone's control. Loki's actions are not his own in The Avengers. He's under both threat and Thanos' direct control. The movie actually shows The Other directly threatening him to keep him on task, because this is not Loki's plan. It is not what he wants. He's being used and villainized... Just like in real life. It hurt to see this done to him, but the accuracy was too beautiful to ignore.

Thor: The Dark World comes out. I've heard people complain that this movie is the weak link in the Thor trilogy. I disagree. I think that's Ragnarok, for a bunch of reasons, but we'll get there. (And for the record, I loved Ragnarok, too. It was a funny movie. Infinity War and the Disney+ series are the only portrayals of Loki in the MCU that I truly fucking hated.) Anyway, good, fun movie. Had its faults, as all movies do, but it still followed Loki's real-life arc in a way. How? By having Loki dragged back to Asgard in chains and imprisoned underground. Again, not super happy that this happened to my love, and having to see it on screen was painful, but at least in the MCU he's not chained to a rock with venom dripping on his face for eternity, so there's that. (poor Sigyn. how tired do her arms get, holding up that bowl? best wife ever, amirite?)

In TDW, we're shown Loki's love for Frigga, who favored him and taught him magic as a child. We see his bravado; his attempts to mask his true feelings, especially grief. We see him slowly coming back to himself after the events of The Avengers, and slowly mending his relationship with his brother. He accepts that Odin will likely never love him, but Thor just might, because they were close when they were young. "I didn't do it for him." No, no my sweet, you did it for your brother, and a little out of guilt for what happened to your mother.

At the end, Loki fakes his death and escapes, taking the throne, and I have mixed feelings about this. Not the writer's choices here; I love that completely! A natural progression in Loki's story. But my joy is tainted by how closely they're following the Eddas now. Because Loki's escape from his prison heralds the beginning of Ragnarok. And Loki will die in Ragnarok. I don't want to see that play out in front of my face. I won't be able to handle the grief (spoiler alert! IW broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. Loki's death was legitimately fucking traumatic for me. I don't even care how pathetic that is. That grief was real, it was intense, and I still shake and cry when I think about it.)

Marvel announces that Thor 3 will be called Ragnarok. The internet treats this as a shocking revelation. I roll my eyes and mumble "duh" to myself and move on XD

Then they say Ragnarok will be a buddy comedy. I throw up a little in my mouth and no longer want to live on this planet. If they're going to make something called Ragnarok, could they at least treat it with even a fraction of the respect they've shown these characters thusfar? Jfc. I mean, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a whore for Tom Hiddleston lol. But come on, people!

I hated that they made Hel the long-lost older sister and Fenrir her fucking pet/attack dog. Those are my favorites of Loki's children! Hel is such an incredible badass that the early Christians named their dimension of eternal torture after her! They were terrified of her, to the point of naming the place that terrified them most after her. That's awesome! And Fenrir's just the best. I love wolves. Those two details, and Odin's retcon of "we're not Gods! ...lol, except your sister. she's totally a Goddess. and def gonna kill literally everything, so... good luck! byyyeeeee" pissed me off royally.

The rest was great. I genuinely liked this movie. Still do. And they finally used The Immigrant Song! That was pretty cool. If they'd thrown in Bring the Hammer Down and Thunderstruck, I might've called this movie perfect. XD

I wasn't totally in love with their portrayal of Loki in Ragnarok. Yes, the falling for 30 minutes line was funny, as was "I have to get off this planet" and "YES! That's how it feels!" And "Get Help" was funny as hell. But also, like... There is no way Loki would have been the dumb one in that first encounter with Hela. Also, he can teleport and project copies of himself and shit, so... He would not have been that desperate to go straight back to Asgard and bring her right along with them. Loki's not stupid. But whatever. Movie's gotta movie.

What I did love was seeing the slow mending of his relationship with Thor continuing, and the badass fighting on the bridge. I also loved that, like Real Loki, Movie Loki helped when help was needed, was quick and clever, and while he was carrying out the main plan, he was also planning ahead and grabbing the Tesseract. Yes, that drew Thanos right to them, but that's a whole other thing. Loki never would have left that thing on Asgard to be destroyed or lost.

And now Infinity War. Hooooly fucking shit. You know what? No. I'm not going into this. He was killed, years of character growth were erased forever, my heart fucking shattered. The end.

Endgame. IW hurt me so bad I didn't see Endgame until this year. I actually watched Civil War first (for context: I had actively avoided all Cap movies until this year because I fucking hate Steve Rogers. I find him insufferable. Did not realize what I was denying myself until I watched CW and finally saw the charms of Bucky. When he appeared in IW, I was so lost. XD I was like "...who dis? Murder Jesus?" also I just... didn't care. I was numb by then from crying through most of the movie over Loki)

So, anyway. Endgame. Loki picks up the Tesseract in alternate 2012, escapes, fans go "yay! he didn't actually die!" I go "yes he fucking did. Five years of his life, gone. Five years of growth and change, erased. Loki is dead. This will not be the same."

I was more right than I could have predicted. Now we come to the point of this rant. Sorry it took so long, but you were warned lol.

The Loki series makes me so angry I actually get sick to my stomach. It was fucking TRASH. When I praised Marvel for following Norse mythology so faithfully earlier? Yeah. I DID NOT MEAN TREAT HIM THE WAY THE OTHER GODS DID. I did not mean paint him as a pitiful clown, a joke, a caricature of who he truly was, with his pain and suffering played for LAUGHS.

This is supposed to be 2012 Loki, newly freed from Thanos' control. The Loki we saw in the beginning of TDW - snarky, exhausted, nihilistic. The Loki who rolled his eyes and said "get on with it" expecting to be killed.

The bumbling clown flipping on a dime from posturing to calling himself weak is not 2012 Loki. That is not ANY Loki. That is Tom Hiddleston in a black wig doing what he's told by a shitty writer who had no fucking idea what he was doing and was salty about his (bad) original script (for something totally fucking unrelated) getting killed.

In Episode 1, Loki is mocked, imprisoned, stripped against his will, tormented, belittled, and given a flippant summary of all the trauma Actual MCU Loki suffered that this one skipped out on, with no context, no acknowledgement of the trauma he's already lived quite fucking recently, and with the narrative twisted to not only erase all the abuse he's suffered, but to make it all his fault. And this is supposed to make him want to help these people?

And worse, IT FUCKING WORKS. WHAT?! I CAN'T- FUCKING WHAT?! Remember when I said LOKI IS NOT FUCKING STUPID?! So why is he STUPID?

Episode 2, he's a child. Mentally, this Loki is a fucking child. Now we've erased all the growth and development of his entire adult life. He's dopey, impatient, impulsive, desperate for a pat on the back and actually shows it. Yes, abused and neglected children crave the positive attention we never received, and we often grow up to be a bit emotionally stunted. But not all of us, and not Loki. Not as we've seen him EVER in the rest of the MCU. Playful and a bit callous at times? Absolutely! But not a big dumb fucking puppy.

Episode 3, a ray of hope, despite Sylvie! (I hate Sylvie) Loki casually admits he's pan/bi; labels never come up, but he admits to being with both men and women! He sings! Not really relevant to whether I approve of his portrayal or not lol but Tom has a beautiful voice, Norwegian ("Asgardian" lol) is a gorgeous, entrancing language, and I could watch that one bit on loop for eternity and never get bored. And then, finally, we see a glimpse - a glimpse - of Loki's power! He stops a falling building and pushes it right back up! Are we finally getting to see what he can really do? Will the next episode bring us Loki in all his glory?

Nope. 4 and 5 we see him mocked and pushed around and utterly irrelevant. Again. We see tiny reflections of what he could maybe theoretically do in other random Loki variants, but the "main" (lawl. main. it was the Sylvie and Mobius show. Loki was never the main anything.) Loki? Nothing. He wears his heart on his sleeve for no reason, bonds with the man who imprisoned, taunted, and gaslit him, is killed, and continues to be a moron and a joke. Always the clown. Always the dumb one. The one with the bad ideas. The inferior Loki.

Don't even get me started on that finale. I can't. This already took so much out of me. Fuck Marvel. Fuck this fucking show. I just... I'm done.

[a-dragons-journal]

hey, quick question? why do you think you're a dragon? they're not real. why are you ruining your psyche like this? i cannot believe that perfectly intelligent people like you think you're things that don't exist. i get being uncomfortable in your own skin, but why are you convincing yourself of delusions?

Hey, anon! First off, I want to say that I appreciate your concern and I do kind of understand where you’re coming from. At a glance, it’s pretty easy to get that sort of impression from the otherkin community.

I’ve talked about my reasons for identifying this way a lot on this blog, since the whole purpose of the blog is journaling about it (particularly in this post, though that’s only a summary-overview so some depth is lost in the interest of breadth), but it sums up to this: I experience a lot of things (shifts, supernumerary phantom limbs, instincts, etc.) that, when taken together, make the most sense when viewed through the lens of a draconic identity.

I would point out that I have never suggested that dragons exist physically on this Earth, nor do I believe that now, so I haven’t contradicted the fact of “they’re not real” in the first place.

But then, ideas like justice, right/wrong, love, and numbers aren’t physically “real” either (show me justice, or two - not a symbol representing “two,” not two objects, but two. You can’t do it; they’re metaphysical concepts), and the vast majority of us accept that those things are pretty real and important. So we could get into the importance of metaphysical concepts and how they can deeply, profoundly impact our lives and senses of self - which is really more applicable to a psychological or archetypal explanation for otherkinity than my past life explanation, but is nonetheless a very interesting conversation!

But... I don’t think it would really answer your concerns adequately, mostly because I somehow doubt that if I happened to be a therian - if I identified as something that is physically real on this earth, like a wolf or a rabbit - you would suddenly think my identity any more real and valid than you currently do. Correct me if I’m wrong, of course! But I doubt it. So that would be a rather pointless conversation.

Instead, I’ll focus on what I think is actually the crux of your argument, judging from the rest of your ask - the idea that identifying as nonhuman is somehow inherently harmful.

To that, I would ask: why? What harm does it cause? How exactly is identifying as a dragon “ruining [my] psyche”? I have almost a 4.0 in a rather intense university program and am currently studying for boards. I have an active and healthy social life both online and IRL (well. as much IRL as anyone has a social life IRL right now, but COVID restrictions aside). I have a happy and healthy family life. I don’t experience significant psychological distress or impairment of any kind from my draconity; the closest I really get is occasional homesickness-longing or the mild annoyance of having to control the inappropriate urge to snap my teeth at someone who’s irritating me. How then is it hurting me?

I’d also like to address this last sentence in two parts:

i get being uncomfortable in your own skin, but why are you convincing yourself of delusions?

First: I am not, in fact, uncomfortable in my own skin. I am typically, with rare exception, very comfortable in my skin; I like my body a great deal and while there are traits I’d love to take from my draconic body if I could, by and large this body is a comfortable home for me too. Many otherkin are, but not all of us.

Even for those who are - the funny thing about dysphoria is that the way you treat it isn’t typically by trying to suppress it and pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s typically by doing things to alleviate that dysphoria (within reason) by getting closer to the desired form - whether that be a binder, different clothes, wearing a tail, makeup, asking people to refer to you differently, etc. Many, many otherkin who do experience species dysphoria have spoken out about their experience with trying to suppress and ignore it and how that did far more harm to them than identifying as nonhuman ever did.

Second: a) otherkinity doesn’t fit the qualifications for a delusion, and b) not all delusions are inherently harmful anyway (nor is trying to argue against an actual delusion helpful, in a lot of cases - posts about that by people who actually do experience delusions here, here, and here).

In the end, I call myself “dragon” because it helps me explain my experiences succinctly, find others like me, and understand myself better. I’ve seen no evidence to suggest it causes me (or the vast majority of otherkin) harm in any way. What it has done is help me find a supportive community and some pretty good friends, encourage self-introspection and attempts to understand my own experiences/thoughts/beliefs/identity, encourage healthy skepticism in that self-questioning process, help me find explanations for my nonhuman experiences and advice on how to deal with the more difficult ones, and reassured me I’m not alone in these experiences.

...That got long, but hopefully that addresses your questions and concerns adequately?

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

sometime in this last week, or this week coming, my blog has turned/turns 10. god. a decade old. a whole ass chunk of my life i’ve spent on this hellsite. when i began on here, i was a kid. a lost, lonely, depressed and anxious 15/16 year old kid. a kid scared of her future. a kid confused about her future. what to do for uni. to change schools or not??? to do drama/acting at uni or english/philosophy or to move 8hrs away to another regional uni to “escape” her “washed up, dead end hometown” that was so typical of all the pop-punk music that she was listening to at the time.

she was a tad overdramatic, loud, “funny” (as described by her school friends) and terribly forgetful in regards to homework and school assignments. she was angry at the world, most especially the catholic school she was fucking sick and tired of attending. but she was convinced that since she was the so-called “funny girl”, that she simply couldn’t be depressed or anxious. she believed herself unloveable because she didn’t look like a weird mixture of hayley williams and emo-pop queen lights. but now, i no longer believe that i have to look like the women that i looked up to in the ~emo scene~. fuck beauty standards. i am loveable.

in the years since joining tumblr, i’ve managed to get through business college, my undergrad degree and, well, failed out of postgrad due to obvious burnout and health issues amongst other things. although i’ve lost many friends irl and many followers/mutuals online on here. for those who’ve stuck around to see me get through all of this, thank you. to all the friends/casual mutuals that have since deactivated or only followed me for a short time then unfollowed; thank you.

like obviously i was never/have never been a massive popular blog on here, like thebootydiaries or vampireapologist (who has since deactivated a couple of months ago) with tens of thousands of followers. my follower count is still close to the 8,000 range at 7,892. obviously that’s still a lot of people (and of course, porn bots lmao and many, many non-active blogs), enough like one super old post from like 2012 tumblr pointed out, enough for a small to medium sized city or town, or something like that. i don’t know how many people i’ve really reached. i really don’t know how i actually amassed this small army of people.

i am aware though, that on other platforms like snapchat (lmao does anyone even use it anymore in 2021???)/instagram/youtube/tiktok etc, i’d PROBABLY be considered as some type of ~micro influencer (🤮🤮)~. hell, i actually had a bot slide into my notes about being one on here on this hellsite back in 2019. i don’t know if i’ve ever actually ~influenced~ anyone on here with my shitposts (when i started making some) or my personal posts. i don’t know my reach. even though, now, i do occasionally get featured on buzzfeed listicles (although pay me buzzfeed along with the OPs of those original embedded posts), i still don’t know how many people i’ve reached… and even with my very occasional checks of google analytics lmao. on top of this, grappling with the loss of followers at times is much, much easier than it was when i began on here and the first few years following that. i know that my follower count doesn’t determine my worth and stuff.

but over these 10 years, i have grown. i turn 26 this year. back in 2011, 15/16yo me never thought she’d be here. she was partially down the suicidal thoughts hole, with things about ~picturing her funeral and wondering who’d bother to turn up. if only she could pretend to be dead for a day to see who’d give a fuck~ and 16-18yo me was defs down it with her HSC hellscape thoughts in 2012/2013. that 3rd floor tafe/tech women’s bathroom window drop and the thought of scarring her class for life (and that cool dude from catholic school that she crushed on who ended up at tafe with her) with jumping out of it onto the concrete below. instead, she just posted on fb about ~being a failure~ etc which ultimately did lose her a bunch of facebook friends lmao. it was practically the same thing. her mental breakdown after the end of her hsc, where she let her earrings go green and get infected in her ears because “fuck self care, bc what the fuck is it??? i’ll never get better! let me fucking wallow in my self loathing bc it’s the only thing that i’m fucking good at!!!” so i no longer have my ears pierced. oh! it was just all too fucking much!!

i am happier today. i no longer have those semi-suicidal thoughts. hell, i almost died in 2020 from a fucking bowel aneurysm, after my stomach tumour excision surgery. that forced me to put things into perspective. i appreciate the little things . i appreciate the very few friends that i actually have. yes. i’m still depressed and anxious. some days are still shitty and hard. but nowhere as hard and shitty as they were back when i began on here 10 years ago.

how the fuck last 10 years have gone past, with my ass on here; clearing out my blog and caring more about doing that than my uni work (lmao whoops); having made some lifelong friends both internationally (from the US) and long distance domestically in australia, it’s been a long ride; i honestly have no fucking idea. obviously over these past 10 years, i’ve debated with myself over and over and over again whether i should delete/deactivate this account or not. would it make me healthier??? more than likely. but then when i have meltdowns or just inner ramblings i have to get out somewhere, where else to post??? on fb?? obvs not. it’s “attention seeking” or the like on there. no one will read them. no one will resonate. but on here??? even if i got/get one “like” in the notes or one “yo i feel this” response in the tags or replies, it feels like i’ve reached someone??? okay yeah. i know this place IS NOT therapy and i’m not using my followers as amateur (or probs even actual professional) armchair psychologists…. which is a thing i think people need to stop doing internet-wide: but that’s a whole other post that i reblogged a few days ago lmao. i really need to get another therapist, actually lmao.

but it’s the community i’ve found hard to leave. i have what feel like friends, when i’ve never been employed (still as of yet); and when all of my irl friends/acquaintances are working and doing the whole ~adulting~ and ~grown up life~ thing right. it’s also the frenzied rabidness of spite with hating staff’s godawful ideas. the memes. oh the memes. and also the RaWrInG 20s XD emo scene reemergence on here that’s kept me here. the messy petty drama from time to time of big blogs fighting it out.

this place really is bizarre and fun sometimes. and also the fact that i can still hide behind the ridiculous “roaring pikachu” URL that i made all those years ago. i am anonymous. it’s freeing. but on fb it’s all like “WHY WONT YOU ADD A BANNER IMAGE AND TELL US 20 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU!!!!!???? LET PEOPLE WHO HAVENT SPOKEN TO YOU IN 10 YEARS KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!!!” and the same goes for Corporate Hellscape Facebook™️ (linkedin) but in the professional sense instead. y’all know fuck all about me really. besides my posts. and i love that and live for that. okay yeah. y’all know more about my mental health than my fb feed obvs… which is probably a terribly unfortunate thing. but still.

over the last 10 years then, my superiority complex for being ~so original and intelligent~ or whatever the fuck i had in high school, has all but ebbed away. i’m not that smart just because i went to uni. hell, i literally did NONE of my in-class work and none of my philosophy readings in uni….. so i have fuck all idea of how i got through undergrad like that lmao. i’m not original when so many people can articulate the same thoughts that i have, but like, sometimes better, on a post (even though sometimes/most of the time the Tumblr User Hot Takes Tuesday™️ takes on here are fucking awful lmao). but still. originality is not something i really have anymore. or really had in the first place lmao.

so will i deactivate after these 10 years, like i’ve been saying for so, so long??? i honestly have no idea. but just know. thanks guise. have a nice gpoy selfie day XD. grab your wands. your tardises. grab your war paint. grab your whatever the fuck other fandom specific stuff that was one that hella cringe post from 2011 til 2015 random tumblr. that relic is as old as time itself. just as this mysterious roaring pikachu is for someone whose too loyal to leave this W E B B E D H E L L S I T E that’s just as much of a train wreck as she is. lmao.

[iknowicanbutwhy]

To anyone who thinks texting is a billion times worse than talking on the phone and that texting is a miscommunication disaster ready to happen: I get you. You're probably 100% exactly like my friend who I hate texting despite how i rather appreciate talking with them on call or in-person.

Hear me out, though. Please.

You know what's weird? I love talking with my other friend on text more than i talk with them in real life. No, it's not because they're untalkative irl. No, it's not because they have a different personality in text. No, it's not because they have any trouble whatsoever communicating in-person (more than the usual trouble everyone sometimes deals with).

It's because I'm the one with the auditory communication issues. I stammer and stutter, I can't forward my opinion in that microscopic pause between people talking, i can't think quickly when i or someone else is speaking, i can't think quickly, and i can't double check my grammar when ive already said something - among other problems.

And that friend i like to text? Just so happens to be skilled at texting.

Yes, texting well is a skill. Something that you can learn and cultivate and look up on Google. So if you hate texting and find it irredeemable, you probably don't have the skill for it. But you can still learn just by using your normal speaking skills while remembering and sticking with only a few bitty - yet crucial - rules of texting.

You may not want to learn to text. You may want to speak and text only when necessary. You may defend your point by stating that texting lacks key human communication, such as body language, tone of voice, rhythm of voice, and other context that adds to the meaning of words in a way texting could never have. Aaaand you'd be right, actually. Italics and bold and emojis/emoticons and writing style can only do so much while the imagination fills in the gaps - and unlike with books, if the imagination sees/hears something terrible in a text, it's offensive instead of interesting.

So, what about the people who don't have the skill to make coherent, intelligent sentences with their mouth in the first place? The context doesn't help too much, then. Of course, why should you have to learn how to text when clearly these people who are afflicted by their inability to speak should be learning how to talk, because it's more effective and healthier for them that way?

You're right, they should be learning. And they are! There's no avoiding speaking in real life unless you're mute, selectively mute (let's be understanding), deaf (sometimes they learn to speak and that's awesome), or something else I can't think of. Those with speech impediments - when they don't know sign or there's no one who knows sign nearby - are generally forced to try to speak, and are constantly training to communicate well. People with social anxiety don't want to be afraid of talking, and especially if you befriend someone with social anxiety in real life and talk with them in-person, they'll try their best to open up in-person too. And me? Who can't think fast enough to speak for some reason? I'm trying to change that, too. I hate being unable to speak as well as I text, because speaking is more efficient.

But it would still be really, really nice to have a deliciously complex conversation sometimes, and for those of us with trouble speaking, we developed the skill of texting to better fulfill that human need to communicate and share. We're trying to speak. But.. it would be really nice of you to text.

To text more than just "okay"

To elaborate on "I can't"

To exclaim more than only "ah"

To give something that isn't difficult to find a specific response to.

And it can be easy to; we text-savvy people swear our hearts on it!! Google provides lots of good links when you search "how to text well," but I'll sum up a few common tips to texting with meaning.

Text proportionally. This is probably the only rule you need to remember, because all-in-all, the best way to text someone (if they're not sending one or two words a text) is to follow in their example. If they ask your opinion? Tell them yours and ask theirs. If they send texts of two or three sentences each? It's polite to try responding with the same magnitude (keyword: try. You can't always do it). They send you a paragraph? You don't have to send one back (even though that'd be real cool) but if they seem to be expecting a thorough response, don't be afraid to tell them you can't think of much. Just make sure you follow tip #2. Just imagine what it's like talking to a cat that only meows vaguely at you in response. Maybe you think the cat is smart enough to somewhat understand, and you're getting the chance to let your thoughts out at it, but getting basically nothing back is kind of boring.

Dont send curt, few-worded answers. This includes saying just "k" or "ah" or part of a sentence that you're never gonna finish. It sends the message that you're not interested in thinking about whatever the person texting you just said. Sometimes you can send a tiny response as a joke, but do it over and over again, and the other person will think you're never interested in talking. If you're not interested in talking (not just in text, i mean audibly too), it'd be less rude to simply say your not up for talking, with a short, polite apology.

Respond as soon as possible to a genuine question. If you need to think, say so. If you can't respond just yet, say so. This is a personal thing for me. I'm in the middle of a conversation that has been active for a while, i ask an important (sometimes timed) question, and nobody responds for an hour. I lose confidence and take the silence as "no, don't be ridiculous," and take back what i said. Then, very suddenly, i get a response finally informing me that someone needed to ask their mom and the conversation took a while, or they were researching the question, or chores suddenly came up, or etc etc. People get busy all the time, and especially on text, it's easy to suddenly drop out because something irl shows up. But it's hard to tell the difference between being ignored, missed, or being considered. Your excuses are valid, but even a vague "brb" and then later a quick explanation would be more informative than straight silence.

If you need to leave in the middle of a conversation that's been very active, say so. Building off of the last one, it's just polite to be informative. Now, you don't have to say you're doing this at some specific location for a particular amount of hours and you'll be hanging out with whats-their-name and then you'll go into the bathroom and pick your nose in the mirror - no, you don't have to be specific. Just make it clear that you'll be gone for a bit and you'll get back to the conversation another vague time. It's polite, that's all, and alleviates the worries of all us anxious individuals who think "oh no did i say something wrong its been like 20 minutes and they left suddenly-"

Try to leave an avenue of conversation open for the other person to pick up on. This one is easy because generally, all you need to do is think of an open-ended question that isnt yes-or-no. Say something, then ask a question that relates to what you said that the other person can add to. Like.. the other person said they like a certain band, and you like that band, too. You could tell them your favorite song from them and gush about why, then ask what their favorite song is and why? Then it's up to them to give a good response.

If a conversation turns exhausting because you feel like you're pulling all the weight, then drop it and politely say goodbye. There's all these tips about good texting but sometimes, when you can't bring the other person out of their shell or they are genuinely uninterested, it's because they are the ones not doing their part in the conversation. You've tried your best, and if they wont thank you, then I will. And someone in your future who knows how to text and is interested in what you have to say will thank you in their heart. Just, not the person who you're walking away from right now.

Observe the texting "body language" of others. This sounds weird, but examples of this would be using bold to outline the absolute importance of things, italics to slightly emphasize something, s p a c i n g to signify your mind being blown, emojis to express light emotion (unless someone uses way too many, which, that's just a bad habit and sometimes an art form), "ha" for sarcastic laughter, fjsjskajfjie for real laughter, ALL CAPS for high energy, etc. Im sure you can Google it, too, otherwise you can just learn from experience. It's all generally very universal unless you meet a Homestuck, and pretty soon, picking out and giving out emotions in everyday text will be a little easier.

That's all I got right now. Thank you for reading this far and indulging me with this topic. It's okay if you want to keep your avenues of conversation far away from texting, because it's all your own choice, but just know that if you ever do find someone interesting who speaks better in text, it's not impossible for you to communicate with them as well in that format. Just takes practice :) (<- that's a genuine, gentle smile, otherwise I would use c: or :3. Someone else may use it differently, however. Think of it like my personal accent.)

[botslayer]

Fantasy and Scifi “Racism,” an opinion piece:

This whole thing is gonna be a slurry of politics, hot takes, nerd shit, some pictures to make it not a snooze fest on the eyes, and me asking the lot of ya to consider both sides of an argument. If you have a problem with any of that, please leave. All that said, let's get on with it: Let’s take three gentlemen for an example. One is from Poland. One is from Angola, one is from South Korea. What does that tell us about them? We can infer averages. For example, The average Polish man’s height is about five feet, ten and a half inches, so the Polish gentleman’s height might be in that ballpark. A very well known Korean dish is Kimchi, so it is moderately safe to assume the Korean man has, at some point, eaten it. Two of Angola’s largest provinces happen to be “Moxico” and “Cuandocubango” and one of it’s most populated is called “Huambo” So it would be a moderately safe bet to assume the man from Angola is from one of those areas. Their countries/continents of origin don’t directly tell us much though. Hell, we could be dealing with a Polish little person, a Korean who has bafflingly never had kimchi and an Angolan from Lunda Sul. We also don’t know about their outlooks, their lives, mental conditions they might have. Hell, we may not know what race these guys are. There’s a slim chance the Angolan Gentleman is Chinese (1.4% of the country’s population) Or that the Polish guy is ethnically German. We just don’t know. What we do know for a fact is that they’re all human men. They have (most likely) similar psychology, anatomy, dietary need to not starve to death or dehydrate, etc. And that’s about it. Now let’s take a sample from three fictional species off the top of my head: Starting with a Furon from Destroy all humans.

Now, Furons are pretty much universally shorter and physically weaker than humans, so it is safe to assume our single Furon has these qualities. He's also likely a psychic as that's a common attribute of his people. Also common would be the perception of humans as cattle, his possession of advanced force field technology is also pretty much a guarantee. Outliers exist and all that but something worth mentioning: This Furon is a Furon. In other news: The sky is blue, yeah? The problem is though: The Furons are very much not humans. And there aren't too many "races" in that equation, either. Just the populace of the Furon Homeworld. It's also worth noting that we don't actually know what Furons eat, their water intake any of that. We know only so many details but with just those, it's obvious that Furons and humans are too damn different. For species two, let's look at Mind Flayers from DnD.

Mind Flayers, otherwise known as "Illithids," are generally humanoid creatures born through a process known as "Ceramorphosis." See, Illithids are anatomically asexual, as in, they self inseminate and produce eggs from their mouths. They put the eggs in with an entity called "The Elder brain" which is a conglomerate of other Illithid brains, the tadpoles eat one another or get eaten by the brain for about ten years before being selected and implanted into a sentient creature (Humans, elves, etc) From there, the tadpole eats the brain of that creature, replacing it with its own and slowly altering their anatomy until you get a malevolent microcthulhu with potent psychic powers and the need to eat one entire human-level brain every month. Mindflayers start their lives as parasites that literally consume your entire sense of self and mutate you into an unrecognizable husk with a cephalopod for a face. And they have the gall to consider humans lesser? How bloody dare... an entirely separate species of sentient creatures come to that conclusion. For our last example, let's talk about a species from a setting best described as Technomystical: The Skakdi from Bionicle.

For those who don't know what that species is, The Piraka from the 2006 toyline are all examples of Skakdi. Now, Skakdi look, and they are, absolutely brutal. For example, the species was beset by an army of large and lethal creatures called "Zyglak" after becoming what they are today, the lot of them being mutants. The Zyglak were completely wiped out. Skakdi are savage in the best of ways. They aren't just beasts, they're berserkers with the powers of the elements, however, it does require two of them to activate such powers. Thing is though, they're all like that. The entire species has been mutated from what it once was into a legion that knows little else other than slaughter and subjugation of others... Generally speaking, at least. The problem with all three of these species, or "Races" (As I do NOT prefer to call it), and in fact most species from almost all settings is that they're a monolith. Illithids, for example, generally all follow the same societal structure, living in large groups wherever they can under the "guidance" (as in "Hivemind link") of elder brains, some strike out on their own, but for the most part, they live under elder brains, no matter where in the world they are. There aren't competing Illithid Nations or sub-species with things that makes them distinctly Korean or Aztec inspired unless the DM adds those things. And even then, when settings do that, say, Warhammer, there are some groups that are a national proxy (The Empire is Germany, Bretonnia is France, etc) and then some proxies are just an entire species. (See the Lizard Men, who went from Native American-coded to Aztec over the course of some years.) Adding to these things is a slight elephant in the room. Alignment systems. See, humans in games like DnD can be anything from neutral evil to chaotic good, true neutral to lawful evil, etc. But then some species are stuck as inherently good or evil or inherently lawful or chaotic. The problem with saying that about a sentient species is that it smacks a bit of actual, real racism/racist ideas. The idea that this group of beings that just lives differently to the rest of us is inherently almost anything is clearly bad, right? Well... Maybe if we didn't do that IRL, that would feel more genuine. The hell am I on about?

We, as humans, understand that other species of everything from primates to insects are naturally more aggressive, more gentle, more poisonous, more endowed with certain senses, etc. All except for other groups of humans. Because save for pigments of skin, general height, and elements of culture, pretty much all human groups are the same.  That said: Point me to the the race of humans more naturally endowed with psychic powers. Or the human race that can only go on by implanting itself in other humans and slowly making people lose their minds until only they take over said body. 

I can show you examples of animals doing the whole “Eating you from the inside out” thing. But not humans. Hell, even cannibals have to get a cut off of ya first. But that’s just how beings like Mind Flayers operate. I can show you examples of more aggressive insectoid life vs ones that just want to be left alone. Generally speaking, a wasp is more aggressive than a ladybug. But that’s because they evolved differently to one another. Like Mind Flayers have from elves. Or like Furons have from Blisk. Or like The Skakdi had from Matoran, even before being mutants. Does that make them (wasps) “Evil” though? Well... No. The problem is that wasps took on the various scary attributes they did because that was the hand nature played for them. A wasp does not choose to start life by eating it’s way out of a living tarantula and then spending the rest of it angrily defending whatever it considers to be it’s “territory” only to lay another one of its kind into another tarantula, that’s just what the little bastards do without thinking because that’s how they adapted to the world. I would say though that Furons are evil. They view an entire species they consider intelligent (Even “Loosely”) as cattle to harvest DNA from and otherwise use as playthings, killing them en masse just for shits and giggles. Mindflayers, I would say much the same of unless they willingly find violent/genuinely harmful examples of intelligent life that will do the world no good and then eat only them. But no, these freaks bred an entire species of creatures to have massive brains and be super passive just to make eating their brains easier. That’s pretty damn evil.

(Pictured above, an Oortling from Forgotten Realms 2e) Creatures like the Krill from Seth Macfarlane’s “The Orville” believe all other sentient species are lesser than them. The galaxy is for them and them alone to conquer and do with as they please. Such is the Will of their god Avis. They started stabbing a human head live in front of other Krill in an episode as part of their religious practices. But then the species has some nuance. This fundamentalism and extremism is how they cope with being so damn small in the face of an uncaring, unfeeling void. So are the Krill evil? No. They’re afraid. 

Coming back to the Skakdi, They started out as relatively peaceful until a creature from the Makuta species showed up and mutated the lot of them into the magabadasses they are now. All of them now have, fighting skill equal to, if not greater than most Toa, and even elemental powers. But they aren’t all evil. They’re just aggressive, angry, and furthermore, also probably hurting. A peaceful existence was just taken from these poor bastards, all they know now is conflict with one another. So are the Skakdi evil? No. Some of them might be but it ain’t because they’re Skakdi. 

See, Skakdi and Krill are important things to remember here because they, while still being monolithic as cultures, have a little more depth than just the myriad ways in which they’re evil bastards.  But Mind Flayers? Not really. Not unless the DM adds that. Furons? I mean... Sometimes they become friends or mate with humans but not usually. And what of the big old elephant in the room? The Orcs of D&D? Orcs as a species were recently described as only having limited capacities for things like empathy... If raised outside the violent and chaotic madness that is living with other orcs.

This is the thing that sparked this post, so I will now, at the near end, address it specifically: People find the wording here to be reminiscent of things actual racist propaganda and ideas perpetuated about pretty much specifically black people as I understand it. Which, I genuinely wouldn’t know. I never really grew up around that stuff and I do my best to avoid racists/racism in my day-to-day. But to me? This just makes a depressing kind of sense. The species that evolved/was made or whatever to be this big, hulking set of warrior badasses. has a limited ability to understand what it is to be the other guy. Seems legit. Especially when you remember that even if Orcs are just another group of primates, they aren’t human and would likely have psychological differences to humans. 

This is a baby chimpanzee. Look at it. It’s cute. You want one, don’t you? Well... That’s not advised, honestly. Chimps can be fucking monsters. Don’t know what I mean? A. I’m surprised. B. Just google “Chimpanzee attacks” if you have the stomach for it. Not all Chimps will do it, but chimps can and do, do it. Some Chimps hunt monkeys for food in their territory. It’s royally fucked up, but its a thing they do. And you know how different human DNA is to theirs? About 1%. I personally don’t see anything wrong with saying “An entire species is evil” in any setting other than that being shallow as fuck. I also personally don’t see anything wrong with suggesting that a species has limited empathy because honestly...? Just look at nature and even humans. Fantasy and Scifi often entertain the idea of “What if we are not the only living things smart/naturally equipped enough to build a society?”  But the sad reality is if we weren’t? Most other species wouldn’t act a damn thing like humans, most other species probably wouldn’t give a shit about us, and a large number, even if they can and do act like us in some ways, will not in all ways.  So, to bring this ramble to something resembling a conclusive point: Fantasy/Scifi “Racism” (As in just being prejudiced, although it should just be Xenophobia, IMO) is way more understandable and even more easily believable than the real thing because we stopped talking humans the second we brought in the crazy dudes with octopus heads. Or who are just naturally, by virtue of their species (not “race”) psychic. And even if it was just between groups that didn’t exist, nature proves that it would most definitely happen.  But those are just my thoughts, anybody wanna weigh in? I’m all ears. 

[ohpretty-baby]

bts as my sophomore class teachers

a thread because i miss my teachers lowkey

anyways enjoy <3

first hour: ap seminar with kim namjoon

super philosophical 

is a fanboy for rosseau, calls him the original gangster

intimidatingly intelligent; like reads 3 books in one day and writes two papers on them intelligent

constantly connecting foundational thinkers/texts to real life situations (ex: echo and narcissus and selfies in social media)

makes you feel like a bad person by questioning your moral motives

there’s never a dull day in his class

seriously

one time we spent the hour evaluating billie eilish’s bad boy and that one “sweet but psycho” song and talked about double consciousness

the next day we did a full 180 and talked about mass burials

then we talked about the refugee crisis the day after that

extremely thought provoking conversations

gives you independence, which is a double edged sword because everyone in ap sem procrastinates

wants students to exceed not only in his class but also outside of school

my irl ap sem teacher helped me figure out that i wanted to go into a career of law !

also an extensive librarian (hence the ability to read 3 books in one day)

if you have the slight interest in something, he has a book for it

i literally have 8 books checked out from my school library because of him

gives you complete and honest ratings of r rated movies and posts them on your schoology board

not afraid to be scandalous

“now everyone say it with me: premarital sex!”

that was something my irl teacher said, that day we shouted out premarital sex about 15 times with the door wide open

amazing music taste

literally

he listens to anything and everything, from french rap to spanish pop and then english folk songs

will dj for your graduation party for free

second hour: honors english with min yoongi

insanely calm, probably just very sleepy

easy going, chill

you really don’t feel pressured in his class

people goof off in class and are generally very annoying, but he doesn’t care

occasionally lectures students if he really needs to 

communicates what we have to do and then lets us do the work

lets us fail if we’re not responsible

but will understand if you can’t turn in a project if life gets in the way

i still have a project i need to turn in oops-

i haven’t received any negative repercussions tho

lets kids eat in his class and lets them go to the vending machine if they have no food

i go to my locker every morning to get food to eat

eats with us

lets you use your phone and watch netflix

will even ask you what show you’re watching and if it’s good

actually a really good teacher if you pay attention in his class

kids just think they can slack off, they end up failing tho so it’s really none of his issues

for some reason he’s a substitute teacher for a lot of classes

when he subs, the classes are extremely fun 

one time i spent my whole sixth hour talking to him about my costar and astrology

goofs off with the kids

that same day he subbed, my friends were making panoramas of each other and he rated all of them

isn’t strict

cares about his students and is very easy to talk to

because of this a lot of students open up to him

isn’t a snitch

would willingly make fun of classic literature with you

third hour: honors chemistry with kim taehyung

Super Sassy

always gets the last word when students mess around with him

“what’s your favorite double replacement reaction?”

“my favorite ones are the ones you guys get right; so none”

as you can guess, students love having conversation with him

probably has a dope ass instagram but damnit he won’t let accept anyone’s follow requests

probably because that’s illegal

constant Bad BItch energy

will openly tell students they are annoying without shame

will also openly tell you that you are dumb

once i thought that we had four principals (one for each grade, don’t question it) and my irl teacher was speechless,, like she couldn’t actually say anything at my stupidity

i would willingly sell my soul for my chemistry teacher

always has labs to do, even if they’re not very helpful at times

lets students retake tests by creating a new test 

but they’re actually harder than the actual test

students skip their own classes to visit him

i always skip my 6th hour to go into the chemistry

constantly has to chase away students

actually very sweet and cares about students, but is never really a push over

again, a constant Bad Bitch

fourth hour: honors spanish with kim seokjin

an even Bigger Bad Bitch

super fun and sassy

fiestas!!!!!!! 

we have fiestas but literally the only Spanish thing we have is chips and salsa and tacos

i’m not kidding

people just bring in cake pops and brownies

will sometimes teach a whole lesson in Spanish just to fuck with us

will also try to hold a conversation with us in Spanish just to fuck with us even more

loves seeing our shocked and confused faces when can’t answer his questions

actually teaches us

gives a lot of busy work but i honestly think that’s the better ways of learning and practicing Spanish, so there’s no complaints

engaging lessons, encourages us to make mistakes so we can be comfortable with the language

veryyyy helpful with pronunciation, makes sure that we know how to pronounce certain words

super trustworthy

once after school i spilled tea with my irl spanish teacher about a messy breakup i had gone thru, it was real fun

we have a theory that one of the senior teachers has a crush on her because he always visits her when he comes to our class

really good teacher but heavily overestimates our ability

especially when it comes to tests

but will admit his wrongs when we don’t do well in class

literally the best friend you wish you had

fifth hour: ap world with jeon jungkook

literally really pretty

really funny and sweet but his class is hard

not because of the extensive work and the fast pace, but because he doesn’t prepare students enough for saqs, dbqs, leqs, etc.

we still love our ap world teacher bc she genuinely cares about us

teaches an ap class but has never taken an ap class in high school

still teaches even tho he’s sick and his own students have asked him to stay at home so he can feel better

really fun discussion activities, like fishbowls

always drinking tea with a cool ass mug that has all the presidents of the united states on it

wears really cute clothes and coordinates colors

but sometimes will just pull up in pajamas

either way he’s Stylin

makes sure that students know that he doesn’t believe in racism and communism

always tells his students to take care when they say goodbye

draws LOTS of smiley faces

sometimes more confused about the content then the students are

but genuinely kind and hard working, even if it takes him 3 months to grade papers

sixth hour: theology with jung hoseok

confusing lectures

will talk about persecution in rome and then switch the topic onto blts (yes, the sandwich) and then talk about male circumcision

really goofy

deaf

talks very loudly because he takes his hearing aid out during lessons

honestly a really confusing teacher

a lot of people don’t like his teaching style, and neither do i, but it’s not a hard class so there’s really nothing to complain about

you really just need to read the slides in his class to pass

gives out homework but never grades it

i never turn in homework,,, 

i get a’s on his test and he just gives good grades for every homework assignment

honestly just really sweet and funny even when he tries not to

talks with his hands way too much

will take selfies with you if you let him

constantly asking for validation from his students

“is my teaching style ok? i know it can be confusing but i really try with making lectures funny so you guys won’t be bored”

can sometimes be annoying but everyone loves him because he just doesn’t make sense

literally the best class to do other homework in

sees students as his friends

once we had a public discussion online about our concerns of the coronavirus instead of actually learning about theology

i said that i was worried that i’d die of the coronavirus before i got a boyfriend

he replied to my comment saying “1. you are killing me ! :) 2. i’m sure that you have a lot of secret admirers, so the boyfriend thing is covered, they just need to figure things out. remember maturity happens at different stages for everyone.”

even though i don’t like his class at times, i know i’m gonna miss how crazy he is

seventh hour: honors geometry with park jimin

Sweetest, Softest, Most Pure of all

gives out candy during tests

but not just any candy

the really good strawberry candies that grandmas always have and never run out of

sometimes the lessons go by too fast but yet too slow at the same time

a Literal Grandpa

doesn’t let kids say “shut up” or “dumb” in his class

claims that he doesn’t even say “shut up” to his own kids

always reminds kids that this is a No Judgement Zone

rewards students who answer challenging questions with little stand-up signs that say “Expert at Work” or “Rockstar” that they can put on their desk

will buy or make little stockings that spell out the initials of the high school

brags about his kohl’s cash

once bought a $50 scooter for only $5 dollars because of his kohl’s cash

stays after school for two hours to reteach lessons to students

takes little strolls around the school building with his friends during lunch

Mental Math Mondays

mondays are when we play mental math card games with the whole class

lets kids make their own card games

will ask if you’re okay if you look sad

will also ask if you’re okay if you look sleepy

asks kids to be patient with him when they have a confusing lesson to teach

wIll thoroughly explain everything to the best of his ability

definitely has never done anything wrong

this made me genuinely miss my teachers even though i hate school with my whole entire heart, soul, and mind! anyways love u guys

[zugzwangz]

7-16-2020    

I haven’t been here for a minute and that’s not how it should be. This blog started out as a semi daily journal. The problem with that is that people (including myself) only tend to journal when things are bad. That’s when we talk about our insecurities and our fears and shit. It's because we are uncertain of what's next and sharing how we feel is a good coping mechanism.

Before we go on let me say that this is not gonna be a depression post. Everything is fine, everyone is well and I’m VERY crossed.

I mean it hasn’t all been peaches and cream, the start of this year really put me in a situation I’ve never been in before. I’m sure ya’ll can relate. I was stripped of all the fat in my personality and I was just left with myself. Unfortunately I didn’t like myself at the time so for a while there I was a drag.  

In California the start of the madness happened in the middle of March and we didn’t go full lockdown till the beginning of April.  I still had a job at this point and I wasn’t afraid. I was never alone really. I had friends around me 24/7 and frequent female company. Things were ok. But then you know April comes around and not even one week in, I begin to lose it a lil bit.

For one the girl I was seeing at the time was crazy immature and excommunicated me out of the group I established. Which was super weird because we didn't even sleep together or really date that long, so she really had no justification to play the victim of any kind. But yeah anyway this sucked because no I was just alone with no one to talk too really.

THEN my funding got cut for both my job and my research project, so I was left with no work or nothing to preoccupy my time and personality with. So now I’m in the red both socially and financially.

Right around this one beacon of light hit me, and she was really alright. She was naturally pretty and a straight bro. Honestly she was this very strange mixture of hick, leftist, and gamer. It was really entertaining. She was very intelligent and called me out so many times. We had good conversations. But she was forsure not over her Ex and I was not myself while around her which eventually pushed her away. Which is a nonchalant way to say she blocked me outta nowhere. Did I deserve it ? Idk really. I was being weird forsure. Boundaries between the two of us were not set properly and she saw me at my lowest. And my guy you don’t wanna see that. Like I get why she left. Her story Arch was tiny. But I’ll always remember her as that tiny girl I met during Covid.

So after losing my job, my research project, my friends, the girl, and then also my hair (don’t ask). I was honestly in the strangest zone in my life. I spent so many days in bed. Forcing my eyes to stay closed to make the day move faster. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror because I didn’t like the person looking back and dude I couldn’t afford the things I had grown accustomed to.  

You can’t do that forever though. Like you can’t just live in this state of self pity. I mean I can’t. And I didn’t.

So post the girl leaving, we had Four new roommates move in one ima air out right now and the other who I misjudged. Actually I misjudged both. Shocker right? Byrice, Pavel, Ted, and Uncle. When I met Pavel he was this stinky dude with like no possessions on him. He was constantly buying weed from me and to put it simply he was a mess. Then there was that fuck head white entitled motherfucker Byrice. OMG he was the worst person. The dude was ripped out of his mind but he was a sociopath, he was such a strange dude. He was super disrespectful and only stayed around for a month. So right after he left we got Ted. Ted is great. He is this older dude but he has had the worst life. He is trying to make it in the weed world and that's about as much as I can tell you.  

So, right after Ted moved in Pavel began to restructure his life and began to talk to me as a friend and mentor. I learned how similar we were and honestly he is like a brother now. He is the funniest dude. We put structure into each other’s lives while talking through all our issues. Everyday we told each other 3 things we wanted to accomplish in the day. No matter how simple it was. Overtime the goals got more ambitious. And by June I was me again. Covid actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I’m playing Door Dash. Playing the UI system, all the while getting ready to apply for the big tech job that will change things entirely in January.  

So Finally we get to the most current chapter in my life; Uncle. Uncle is not my real Uncle. He is Pavel’s Half brother. And the Dude is fucking wild man. In fact we are gonna need another PH just to talk about it.

So Uncle is this Active military Assassin dude who is like IRL Extraction. He goes to different countries on some black ops shit and kills whatever threat the government assigns him too. He came into our lives because he was brought down by the only power in this world that can dismantle a man of his almost fictional status. No not al qaeda. No not PTSD. Divorce LMAO.  

He came to our place about a week ago. I can’t accurately write about him because of how ridiculously wild this dude is. I’ve never encountered anyone this powerful and well connected since my oneitus’s dad. I think I’m going to stop here because i want more drink and need to finish some more work before we hit midnight. Anyway things are ok. Im 24 now. I’m dating again. I have a plan and structure. I have excellent role models and the future is so bright I need sunglasses my dude.  

NO PROOF READING ONE TAKE DRAKE.

[honeyfreckled]

The way u write for us big gurls has inspired me to start writing my own plu ssize!reader series!😊 it’s refreshing to see myself written in such honest ways💜I’m tired of only reading y/nwho is shy plus hates her body. Reading genuine fics for my size from u has been phenomenal for my confidence. Lol I haven’t even dated yet but even I can tell you are writing it realer than what I’ve seen. Keep it up babes and know you ARE making a difference. 💓

ahhh I’m soft tysm i try rlly hard to be truthful to my own experiences as a fat woman. I cant believe yr sayin i inspired you it makes my heart swell tbh i never thought I’d be someone who could inspire anyone. wow e wow wow. tbh i rlly appreciate u noticing my attempt at a diff approach. I got sick of stories w fat readers focused on self hatred. or where it was all ok bc “this girl is the right kinda thicc/curvy” tbh, I had to stop lookin at that stuff. i internalized it, it started affecting my sex life/relationships/triggered ptsd/promoted unhealthy thinking. 

lil advice to fat readers below pls excuse the rant eeep. 

tw: sex talk/porn talk

If I could give fat viewers advice (esp those who are new to dating, struggle w self love/fear of dating/sexual confidence) it'd be- stay particularly mindful what smut/p*rn/content u view. When I was a SW/SB so therefore NEEDED to have an incredibly strong sense of self worth/autonomy- I made it a point to join fat positivity and educated myself on “fat politics.” Surround myself irl/online w supportive, intelligent, talented fat artists who many times are also disabled POC lgbtq folks so we connect on multiple lvls. 

I made sure not to consume nsfw stuff that fetishized my body. In general-nothing that'd demean/degrade/dehumanize ppl like me, or marginalized ppl in general. Some things im gonna see, it’s unavoidable, like fat jokes that crop up in a show im into that usually never makes comments like that. seeing my body excluded when it comes to the kinda fat models plus size stores use. The pain in seeing no one like u in mainstream media or even in the fandom. But as u continue to avoid consuming any content (nsfw AND sfw) that partakes in fat shaming/stereotypes/stigmas/body hate- u begin to notice the impact it has on u. u have an increase in yr confidence bc u got away from that other shit. u know how to spot warning signs. ESPECIALLY IN THE BEDROOM. U know how to/aren’t afraid to ask for what u want, u aren’t as easily pushed around or made into a dirty little secret w basic dudes who’re too chicken abt their pals knowin they like a fat girl. not sayin it’ll be all perfect, but u know how to take less shit from bad partners. and good sex, that u know u were bomb at, gives u a glow and radiates into other parts of yr life. u can use it to reduce stress, alleviate pain, get a boost in confidence/mood, use it to connect w someone on a deeper lvl, good sex can change all kindsa shit for u lol. not to say it’s necessary bc ik for some folks it just aint for em. but still removing that kinda content i mentioned can help regardless if yr sexually active.

if u still wanna watch porn, switch over to indie stuff (not the same as what they call amateur and not on well known porn sites) if u wanna see more relatable bodies and sex acts u could more possibly recreate. Indie scene is filled w awesome actors, the work is more artistic/aesthetics, way more realistic than shitty p*rnhub/xtube/tumblr. Still not totally close to real life. but it has its moments. what most p*rn never shows- like seeing em not cut out when a fat trans actor had to stop to readjust and get more comfortable, that kinda realness helps inform those who’re fat but haven’t been intimate that it's totally normal if they cant do all the insane stunts that go on in smut/p*rn. 

srry to rant ig the point I’m making is, even if u have no experience but yr aware the fat nsfw content u view isn’t something u can relate to- still tread lightly in those waters. Our subconscious is more powerful than we know, we become inundated to unhealthy thinking patterns or beliefs. something even like the fact that it just plain isn’t sexually satisfying for most all fat bodies to approach sex the same way as shown time and time again. or when we do have sexual encounters we come away w shame or trauma bc our bodies didnt react how we were trained to believe they would/should.

anyway ik i talk a whole damn bunch, but If u ever have a question abt the logistics feel free to hmu too. i dont mind discussing it from my experience.

[dellebecque]

Looking for RP--Aden Dellebecque

In-game: Aden Dellebecque Alias: Aden Aubeaux Race: Miqo’te Seeker of the Sun (X tribe/C tribe) Profession: dragoon, scout/surveyor, hunter

History

Of the Sky

They came many generations ago, sisters and cousins, and the Tias and Keeper men they had met along the way, or if not the men then heavy with the children the wandering men had left them with.  Desperate to break out of their tribal life, full of youthful rage against their lot in life as mothers and hunters and little else, they struck out to find a new way. And find it they did--nothing could be more different than Ishgard.  They set about learning a new way, building a new life, one with dreams of comfort and riches rather than long hunts and far horizons, and even taking on new names: the Aubeaux family, one branch called themselves. In their children’s children no tribal outcast lingered: patriots born, through and through, and obsessed with the social climb as many of low status in Ishgard must become.  And one cage was fully traded for another.

Yet you may take the miqo’te out of the tribe, but you cannot beat the tribe out of him.  Daughters were raised in grace and manners, to catch eyes with their tamed exoticism and curry favor with silver tongues.  Sons had too much wandering blood, too much of the drive to fight for supremacy--which made them perfect candidates to go to war, to seek glory or knighthood in deed.  Sons die young in the Aubeaux family, ground up in the bloody crucible of endless war, and daughters inherit the legacy.

And Aden’s father might have too, if not for a wandering woman of the C tribe, a thief and ne’er-do-well who had been a mercenary for many years before finding employ on some secret errand in Ishgard.  What became of her remains a mystery, but her lover raised their son alone for a few years until he sent him away and disappeared himself.

Serenity

When someone delivered a young child to Nadine Dellebecque and Arild Brewster's farm in the Black Shroud, they knew the worst had befallen a dear friend from their mercenary days. Aden, a letter said his name was, and they took him in and raised him as their own.

Aden had a good life with his adoptive mothers, growing up safe and loved. But he paid too much mind to tales of their time as adventurers, and to Arild's beloved travelogues. He took a little too keenly to Nadine's self defense lessons. He remembered the gleam of his father's lance, even if he insisted he didn’t--he’d seen their disapproving looks when they caught him jumping from the hayloft with a pitchfork, and abandonment had made a naturally quiet, thoughtful child reticent.

But Aden hadn’t forgotten.  He grew up obsessed, asking at every opportunity when his mothers might let him join the lancers guild--because this was all that was left to him.  In pursuing the spear he could be with the father who had sent him away, in spirit if nothing else. Finally he proved a danger to himself if they denied him any longer, and Aden went to Gridania to pursue his heart’s desire.

From the Sky

In his time with the lancers guild Aden caught the eye of a semi-retired dragoon, Flynt Knoltross, who saw in him a shadow of his younger self and perhaps a chance to make things right.  He saw too a familiar face, finally putting truth to the secret Aden had carried for years--his father had been a dragoon, though he had disappeared before Flynt knew him well. Aden pursued his training at a punishing pace, obsession merely growing when the lance offered him a sense of purpose and belonging, a more tangible connection to the place of his birth.  Despite the prejudices of his countrymen Aden meant to prove his worth in the spear, never realizing he was repeating the cruel cycle his father had sent him away to break.

Prove himself he did during the end of the war--but politics forestalled his advancement proper to the ranks of the Knights Dragoon the day of.  He has instead been classified as a reservist, and done everything from scouting and surveying in dangerous territory, to diplomacy and leading reconnaissance teams during the Alliance offensive in Gyr Abania. 

Hooks

Must Love Chocobos

Aden grew up on a chocobo farm, and as such he’s an experienced rider and an expert in caring for them.  He loves chocobos, especially his rather possessive and ornery destrier, Keva. He occasionally returns to the farm to help his mothers as they’re getting on in years, and can be found there at times.  Whenever Keva is stabled somewhere that the grooms don’t already know him, Aden takes care of Keva himself, and it’s another situation that might be easy to encounter him in.

Knives and Lanterns

Aden is a member of the Wandering Tonberry hunt lodge, and when he’s not busy with his duties to Ishgard he’s often taking care of hunts for them or doing other work that needs doing.  He can be found in and around the lodge, or out in the field on hunts.  They’re his found family, and he’s very loyal.

Bookworm

Aden is well-read and consumes books at a rapid pace around the rest of his activities.  The only time he slows down is when he’s in a bookshop or a library, and he’ll easily lose track of time.

The Wanderer

Aden has wanderlust deep in his soul thanks to Arild’s travelogues, especially after an eye-opening moment on the Azim Steppe.  If there’s somewhere strange or wild to explore, he’ll be there.

For the Sky

Aden spends most of his time in service to Ishgard, and those who interact with military elements--particularly with dragoons, military intelligence, or certain sorts of politicians--might have a reason to know him.  Being a miqo’te makes him an excellent scout in locations where someone being visibly Ishgardian might be a problem, but it also leaves him open to the prejudices of his countrymen and makes deploying him on any mission of high visibility a political act.  Those who have benefited from his service have set events in motion that will soon lead to his promotion into the position and title he should have had for years now, and potentially something truly far-flung and dangerous For the Sky….

But for now he remains a dragoon in everything but name, and on familiar shores.

OOC

Playtime: Weekday evenings and weekend days, schedule RP ahead of time (I don’t do walkup unless I’m at an event).  Eastern US time.

FC: Wandering Tonberry Trading Co.

Server: Balmung

Looking for: Friends, adventuring partners, fellow Ishgardians, chocobo fanciers, nerds, travelers, rivals, and enemies.

Tips: Aden is quiet, reserved, and usually very polite.  He’s awkward, anxious, and has trouble speaking to strangers (unless he’s working--but how he got that way is a story all its own).  Persistence pays off, though what lies beneath is not entirely like what you see on the surface--Aden is driven, passionate, and full of a long-held, slow-burning anger.  He’s philosophical and intellectual but a violent adrenaline junkie at the same time. He’s spent a lot of time living inside his own head, observing the outside world and thinking, and a lot of time with his head shoved in a book or alone in the wilderness.  He has abandonment issues and struggles with depression and social anxiety. Rather than a fanatic or obedient loyalist, Aden is a warrior-philosopher.  He’ll follow orders, sometimes without question, but he’ll seriously challenge his superiors when it’s appropriate to do so.  He has a reputation for thinking too much, but still getting the job done. Slice of life isn’t really my thing unless the character is already established as a friend or ally of Aden’s, in which case, sure! I am deeply uninterested in quick romance or uncomplicated relationships.  If reading over all of this calls to you in that regard rather than as a friend, contact, or rival, we can talk, but be warned that I have an extremely low tolerance level for bullshit, and Aden is a complicated person who is not here to play house, and will not tolerate someone who cannot keep up with him in the field--whether that be by force of arms or force of aether is irrelevant.  He’s grey-ace and homosexual/homoromantic.  However, people who are down to get punched in the face for making an advance are always welcome--it could be the start of a beautiful friendship! I’m also very busy IRL, hence being forced to schedule RP in advance.  I have a full time job that sometimes requires overtime, a loving partner I’ve been with for 15 years, a house to take care of, two D&D games, part-time work on a friend’s farm, a HUGE extended family, and am an avid outdoorsman.  There’s a lot to squeeze in there! If we start RPing, please be patient with me. I will do out of game RP on a rare case by case basis.  It used to be my bread and butter, but I’ve discovered as I get busier I’m too unreliable and forcing more realistic expectations on myself as a result.

Contact: Aden Dellebecque or Merrick Lockwood in game; Stormcalled#5187 on discord; or my ask box!

[gg-astrology]

wow! I just read your newest post, and I’m really curious about the different rising signs. Can you explain the different decans of libra risings when you have the time? I know how busy you are~ thank you so much!!💓❤️🥰

Hey there! 💗💗 Honestly I like looking at it too, it feels like a self-diss in a way skjnfskn 💗💗 Some things are still mixed together (so even if you’re in different decan they’re still there-- to an extent) -- but I think it helps with noticing how have a lil more oomph on this than someone with the same rising sign as you (in a different decan) 💗

(and thank u for being ;; considerate for me 💗💗 aaaaah i am but im terrible at resting. Managing my health with irl + internet stuff is skjdnfjsk a Mess but im working on it tho!💗)

[Below Cut: Libra Rising + different decans ❤️]

Libra-Libra/Venus (0′-9′)

‘Chill’ 

Quotes on That Bc They Will Tell You To Chill

But They Won’t

Extra AF ™️ But Is Hiding It

Horizontal Position (or Stagnant Motion) Is The Best Position

Observer Only Bc They Don’t Like To Move

Point And Laugh

Laughs Alot

Perhaps Prone To Snickers (but like,, not meanly) 

Is Soft and Gooey But Only Comes in Moments

Shudders @/ Themselves

Tough But Is Actually Softer Than They Realize

Kinda....a Balance Freak??

Doesn’t EVER Want To Be Bias

Never Picks Sides (Unless they are Sure)

A Square

Bc They Sometimes Can’t Decide/is Slower Than Most

Would Rather Be Safe Than Sorry

Not When It Comes To Their Activities Tho

Since They’re Cardinal They Can Sometimes Have Impulsive Adventurous Streak

As well as like...Competitive Streak

Again-- Likes Laughing So That Means Having Fun

Wants Like a Foundation (Mutual Agreement From Both People)

Mayhaps They Don’t like Unpredictability

Will Punch You If You Surprise Them 

Switch Between Rational and Artistic (Blend em’ Together)

Mayhaps Tries Their Best To Avoid Being ‘Too Emotional’

(Swerve It When They See It Coming) 

Libra - Aquarius/Uranus-Saturn (10′-19′)

Judgy-er than you expect them 

Will Call You Out

Fearless of Consequences

Ballsy and somewhat Bold??

Will Analyze 

They Can’t Help It

But Tries To Use it Objectively/Productively (To Not Hurt People Around Them)

Easy-going Most of the Time

The Chillest

Mostly bc They Don’t Wanna Think Too Deeply/Assume?

Respectful To An Extent

Tries to be Optimistic (And Exude It Out To Others)

‘Kick Back and Relax’

Independent But Mayhaps Are Also Secret Hopeless Romantic

Just Wanna Have Somebody

Reads Self-Help Books

Probably Quote Them or Rec Them To Others

Doesn’t Need People but People Needs Them

Finds Value/Preen a Lil At That

Sincerest Out of The Other Two

Like Atleast To Other People

Can Have a Hard Time keeping Energy to Themselves

Cause They’re Always Helping Other People/Figure Out Their Own Shit

Gotta Learn How To Time Manage (Energy Manage)

Loners Vs.  Social?

Libra - Gemini/Mercury (20′-29′)

Bzzz Bzzzz 

Literally Everywhere

Will Not Control Themselves

Works Best In Chaos

Super Brain Power (Charged)

Impulsive??

Works Best Where There’s Stimuli

Benefit The Most From Group Settings

Literally the ‘Mediator’ Archetype We Put Libra In

Super Intelligent, Driving Force and Fast

Cardinal and Adaptable/Flexible

Likes Aesthetics

Will Spent Time Learning How To Code or Customize Their Own Page

Likes Everything to Reflect/Represent Them Somewhat

Personal Taste is Important

Proud of Themselves

Likes Strong Stable Personality

Who Are Not Bores!!! Lots of Conditions!!!

Wants to Preen and Be Showered with Love From Them!!

Only Reasonable!!

(See-- Lots of Conditions)

Knows What They Want To NOT Have/Want

But If You Ask Them What They Want They Can Blank and go ‘uuughh’

Thinks They’re Easy Going But Is Not (compared to the other two)

Likes Learning and Knowing Things

Won’t Stop Can’t Stop

Has a lot of Vitality!!!! To Them

Can be Pretty Uplifting People to Be Around

Head > Heart

Less Vulnerable Than The Other Two (but just as Sincere)