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teitpp · 3 months ago

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Fic Writer 20 Questions

Big thank you to @curator-on-ao3 for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

1,874,243

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(I hadn't checked this in ages and now im kind of awed and intimidated that something i've had up for a few months beat out Parent Trap the HP Crossover after so long. I did not comprehend how ginormous the Agatha fandom was.)

(499) The Uncharted River (T)

Agatha All Along: Canon Divergence from Episode 5. While struggling to break Agatha free of her mothers possession, Teen releases Nicholas Scratch's spirit from the Ouija board. Nicky possesses her body alongside Evanora, fighting to free his mother from his grandmother's control. He has one request of the coven: Save Agatha.

With Death unable to capture a spirit while it remains tied to a living body, Rio must rely on the pieces of herself long buried: her skills as a witch and her knowledge of her estranged-lover if she has a hope of seeing Agatha through the trial, or their son safely returned to the spirit plane.

Meanwhile the Coven must grapple with their own truth. Will they see the good in Agatha or the bad? Will they listen to Evanora Harkness? or Nicholas Scratch?

(315) The Parent Trap (T)

Star Trek Voyager: Janeway and Chakotay parted ways on unfriendly terms after Voyager returned home - much to the shock of their family and crew. They had at the time two identical embryos in stasis and decided each of them would get full rights to one. Their daughters have grown up not knowing the other exists.

13 years after homecoming, all of that is about to change as a happenstance of fate - and some scheming former crew - bring Teya and Shannon together and Starfleet Juniors Summer Camp. The sisters switch places in order to meet the parent they've grown up without. But what will they do when they realize both of their estranged parents still hold a flame for the other?

(296) Sailor Moon H: The Order of the Phoenix (T)

Sailor Moon / Harry Potter: Mamoru's star seed is not returned to Tokyo at the end of Sailor Stars, instead, he was send back to be reincarnated into late 20th century Wizarding Britain. now the scouts must enrol at Hogwarts to find him. They soon find themselves caught up in the beginnings of the Second Wizarding War, and in the crosshairs of a certain immortality-obsessed Dark Lord. A Missing Prince is about to be the least of their problems...

(234) The Undying Heart (M)

Agatha All Along: The finale of The Uncharted River, The Upturned Fortunes, and The Unraveling Threads. Agatha Harkness sets out on a roadtrip with everything she never dared dream of: A coven, a boy she sees as a son, a son she can visit in the In Between, and reconciliation with the love of her life. Sure, Rio isn't with them at the moment, but Death is a busy business.

But when a week passes in their search for Tommy and Rio remains absent, Agatha begins to worry. Rio's future card looms over them. What could pose a danger to Death? More important to Agatha, how can she protect Rio against it?

Her search leads them all on a harrowing quest, to the realm between Life and Death, to places that haunt Agatha's past, and to choices Agatha never wanted to make, and never thought she'd have the strength to. Agatha's life has been shaped by grief for her coven, her wife, and her son. With all of them back within her reach, she's never had so much to lose. When the time for Judgement comes, what choices will she make?

(227) The Upturned Fortunes (M)

Agatha All Along: A continuation of The Uncharted River. Our coven, now with a freshly recharged Spirit Witch who has thawed towards Lady Death, embark on the fourth trial. Will Agatha be able to handle what this trial requires after the Spirit trial has shaken her? Will the Seven catch up to the trial goers? And when Lilia Calderu looks into the future's of each of the coven. What cards will she find?

4. What fandoms do you write for?

Voyager

Prodigy

Agatha All Along

Sailor Moon

And side of Mme. Secretary, Harry Potter and Zelda BOTW/TOTK though nothing posted of the last.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond, promptly when i can because i love the community and conversation. i especially love commentors whove sent me really thoughtful questions or bullet points and i always do my best to respons in kind. i love the opportunity to reflect on the chapter in that way too.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Mhmmmm. For now, this one. but this years cohen fic is going to top this for angst.

What Even Is Three Minutes (T)

Star Trek Voyager: Kathryn reflects on what three minutes can mean to her and what it can cost her when she faces her first video call home to her mother. Sad angsty KJ and angsty J/C in here.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending

For Just One Day Let's Only Think About Love (T)

An expanded ending for To Lose The Earth - Threshold AU style.

Because I dont think you get much happier than a wedding and family and exploring a new galaxy together totally at peace with who you are.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Significantly less since I turned off guest/anon comments and left fanfic.net. thereve been memorable ones. This is my favorite ever from Fever (E)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes and I write whatever suits my fancy

10. Do you write crossovers?

Very ocasionally if one compells me

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I dont think sooooo? except by AI scrappers

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but my friend (I'm sorry Nightwing, I can't find your blog to tag!) did record some of my sailor moon fics as audio book type of thing and it was so beautiful and amazing!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!!! with @magdalenejaneway and @jellybeansarecool and I had a blast both times!

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Cant pick just one.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I really want to finish Aquarius and SMH but its so damn hard now that theyre 10 years old and it feels like just... overwhelming. im trying. but my head keeps being elsewhere.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think im decent at outlining and dialogue and action scenes

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

oneshots

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I've started employing the "Details" html tag when I want to give the reader the real time experience of comprehension while also maintaining the characters experience of incomprehension. it's worked really well!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

W.I.T.C.H

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Too hard to choose i love so many of them now. ❤️

i guess i will tag....

@strkamand @cnroth @divinemissem13 and @pc-corner and anyone else who wants to play!

#elephantwrites #tag game

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comptcns · 5 months ago

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— how does your muse feel about vampires "coming out of the coffin" ? additionally how has it affected your muse ?

with utmost honesty and all due respect , bill hates this development. the push for public notoriety posed an insane risk for him and all other vampires. humans are some of the most unforgiving creatures to live and the fear they harbor makes his existence a struggle. of course he can defend himself , but he doesn't want to have to. he just wants a normal life , and that ideal was much easier to procure when his kind wasn't exposed for who they are.

— what was your muse up to prior to the news ?

trying to find home. which was initially why he came to mystic falls , his origins still remain in bon tempts which he tried to settle in his little home town but something was missing. a little too simple for his tastes. it lacked the feeling of home , with a handful of skeletons lingering in his closet it settled as more of a reminder of the pain he's suffered.

— what goals / aspirations does your muse currently hold ?

bill's goal with mainstreaming is just to live a simple life , a little while in the 1938 - when he left lorena - he'd visited mystic falls on business and something about the scenery and the people seemed to captivate him. this is where he plans to make his home and live a ( hopefully ) peaceful & comfortable life.

— what important canonic alterations have you made for your muse ?

the biggest change as of right now is that bill is a bit of a ripper. this makes him extremely cautious of his relations with humans and witches alike. dear lord , and we will see what happens with fae.

— what are some plotlines you would like to see for your muse ? what connections are on your wishlist for them ?

literally give this man all the drama and angst. thrust him into it. it's none of his business ? make it his business.

i really want him to have a connection with a witch that he is extremely gracious too and holds a good relationship with. perhaps they help him with a daylight ring so he can feel the sun on his skin after years of being ensnared by the darkness of night time. this relationship would be probably pretty wholesome.

vampires that knew bill when he was a reckless orgie having , human killing machine. holding his history over his head and sorta just coming around to annoy the hell out of bill.

someone to suck into the avl drama tbh. mayhaps he's tasked with keeping an eye over mystic falls.

— do you have a playlist you associate with your muse -- please share if you do.

red right hand - nick cave & the bad seeds , blinding faith - knocked loose , bite the hand - boygenius , causality - linkin park , im your man - mitski , black hole - architects , it will come back - hozier , just another day - oingo boingo.

— what is one of your favorite qualities of your muse ? on the other side of things , is there anything about your muse that irks you ?

bill seems simple but he's not. he struggles with his true nature and controlling his urges to the point where it hurts. he hates true blood , he hates animal blood , he wants his meals from the vein. but he forces himself take what he needs. he craves normalcy so much that he aches because of it. he's passionate and compassionate and cares so deeply. but he's not afraid to use force where needed. bill likes to think of himself as a pacifist. his overall good nature is admirable especially with his struggles - on the other hand that can be mind numbing.

#bleedfm.intro #( listen LISTEN ill make this pretty later )

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thenextchapterbegins · 1 year ago

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To that he just laughs a bit. "Verosika I didn't even want to be the real me anymore. Its why I changed. Do you want to know what the REAL me was doing before I started whoring myself out?" He takes a moment to think trying to recall a certain event. "Alright this is what REAL me did. Before I met you. I was..hiding out in an abandoned building that I had turned into my...creative process as my persona. Im sure what was it a few decades ago. You must have heard the news of strange killings? Before they got trade marked by the playwright killer. this is ofc before I went public when I did my magnum opus a few years ago."

"I was still working on my craft i hadn't entirely figured out my modus operai as I believe its called or my signature but this was the time when I finally did. I believe I was basing the kill off a shakespear play Hamlet the famous scene with the skull. Which I had from a previous victim. Before when my killings weren't as personal I based killings off famous known plays and theatres when I started killing again after the fiasco at ozzies thanks for that by the way you were one of the people there to...relight that flame." He says with an almost dark smile.

"So..i had a target. Some shit for lord wannabe overlord who thought he was gonna be the next kingpin in imp city. Knew his routine, knew his favorite outings, etc. waited for a night. No one ever looks up, he took a spot for a piss in some shitty alleyway after a night out in this bar he owned. Climbed/ jumped down. Now when your killing and you want to pose them afterwards its important not to drain them too much of their blood which I would use with my magic to lock them. So typically i'd go straight for the heart, quite easy when they don't expect you."

"It was easy this fuck didnt even know how to fight. Barely a struggle I always like to watch them just as that light left their eyes. knowing what just did them in...after that I took the time to pose the body, write a message in blood placed the skull and BAM. Next day front papers. My own column."

"That my dear verosika is what i did, what I was, and who I was hiding for..a good maybe half decade I did this, then I disappeared reinvented myself dropped the o started acting a different way, no one saw my face I wore a mask dressed like I was in a masquerade. The idea that it was a hellborn a serial killer the most feared of the time. Because anyone can kill but to kill and cause FEAR TRUE FEAR. that is hard..and I hid that part of me. You never knew the real me verosika I was by your own words a fake...the real me would have terrified you."

"and when ozzies came that facade shatterd it was already failing but it finally did and my killings started again, until my magnun opus which allowed me to ascend...now I'm too busy running a city to go on spree's anymore. But I will say this. I am not a good person vero for a great many things. But my killings were always this targeting those who belittled, treated and acted against my people. They thought they were untouchable until I made them dance on my strings and ALL OF IT. Was till eventually I killed someone deemed impossible to kill so I could rise and actually begin to do something concrete."

He shrugs. "Horrific monster with noble intentions. Like a dark play almost." He chuckles softly. "also vero. you GET why I did what I did. you don't know the WHY. Not even that explanation is the WHY.

"I can only offer this, I am sorry for making you feel how you felt that was never the intention but I don't regret doing it if I had to do it again i'd at least try and pick someone who wouldn't be so hurt by it at least. "

"So your really going all out. pop star to a rock/metal star." He takes a moment to lean back his head and really take in the full outfit. "I like it better, but don't let my opinion make you wish to toss it out and burn it on the stake. Would be a waste of good cloth."

"Not like I'm doing this for you, but if I had to guess... you can't stand that I'm wearing it better than you could~" she teased trying to get a rise out of him.

"If you want to actually look good I know some people who could deal with thst outfit."

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dreamypeaches · 5 years ago

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rating things my gf has said during seggsy time | kiara carrera x reader

summary: you jump on the tik tok trend of rating things your girlfriend, kiara carrera, has said to you in bed

warnings: SMUT, cursing, sin

word count: 2.3k (they just keep getting longer)

a/n: so, the lord himself tried to communicate to me with this one. i wrote a dirty word and it auto-corrected to bible so...prob going to hell. it’s worth it though. enjoy :)

jj pope rafe sarah topper kelce john b

“beg for it”

300/10

-yes ma’am

-i whimpered

Dating Kiara Carrera was the best thing to happen to you both in and out of the bedroom. The Kie that existed in the real world was sweet and adorable and independent and amazing in every way. In the bedroom, however, the sweet and adorable parts disappeared, replaced with the dominant and sexy as hell Kie that made your legs weak and your heart race.

With your hands pinned above your head and Kie’s hand ghosting over your cunt as she straddled you, you were already a complete mess. Her mouth worked your nipples, sucking and biting at them, making you squirm beneath her as your slick pooled between your legs.

“Kie…please…” you whimpered as her fingers passed over your clit, millimeters away from touching.

“You want me to touch you, baby? Are you ready for me?” She asks, an innocent look on her face. You nod vigorously, your eyes wide and pleading. The innocent look suddenly drops from her face as she gives your pussy as harsh slap, a scream falling from your mouth.

“Beg for it,” She growls. You whimper at her dominance.

“Please, Kie, touch me. Please, please, I want you so badly, please fuck me!” You beg. Kiara smirks.

“Since you asked so nicely,” She says before plunging her fingers into your dripping center.

“sit on my face. now.”

12000/10

-ofc i will

-gave me that wap

You sat up, wiping off what remained of Kie’s orgasms from your lips and chin. Her eyes are hooded, chest heaving as she comes down. You give her a moment to come down, fingers skimming over her thighs and stomach as she does. Her eyes suddenly snap to yours, sitting up and pressing her mouth to yours, tongue exploring and tasting herself on you. She bites her lip as she pulls away, eyes darkening.

“Sit on my face. Now.” She commands. You whimper at her dominant tone. Shuffling up the bed, her hands grip your thighs, pushing you up to hover over her mouth. Her breath fans across your pussy, making you fidget and moan. Testing the waters, her tongue flicks out, brushing over your clit. The hands on your thighs pull you down closer, practically shoving her face into you cunt. You’re a screaming, moaning mess as she devours you, pushing your thighs and forcing you to ride her face.

Her noses brushes your clit as her tongue fucks in and out of you. Moans from her honey lips vibrate through you as you start to plummet into bliss, orgasm flooding through you like a tidal wave. You cum with a scream, but she doesn’t stop, simply licks up your juices and keeps going, adding in a couple fingers, tongue and lips moving to work your clit.

It’s not long before your second orgasm washes over you, forcing you to hold on to the head board for dear life so you didn’t collapse. She pushes you up slightly, placing tender kisses to your inner thighs before shimmying out from under you. Collapsing against her touch, she giggles and kisses you sweetly.

“That was fun.”

“see how good you taste”

100/10

-kisses me when she’s done

-makes me ready for round 2

It was no secret to you that Kiara loved to eat you out. If she could, she would spend all night between your thighs, tasting you and making you scream her name (and she has). It had become a game for Kie to find the most inopportune moments to make her way between your legs. Today was the most dangerous of all, in the bathroom of the Wreck. With the door unlocked. She pushed you into the stall, licking her lips as she shoves your shorts down and drops to her knees.

Her lips are on your clit in an instant. You have to bite your knuckles to keep yourself from screaming as she makes you come undone. Lips sucking and tongue licking at your clit, fingers pumping in and out, curling to hit that special spot that made your knees weak. Kie knows you like the back of her hand, making you cum twice in the span of ten minutes. As you breath heavily, coming down from your second orgasm, she smirks and leaves the stall, washing her hands before walking out of the bathroom completely.

You take a moment to compose yourself, fixing your clothes and hair before following after her. You take your seat beside Kie at the table.

“Nice of you to finally join us,” JJ teases. You just roll your eyes, attention mostly focused on Kie. She smiles at you, leaning forward to mould her lips with yours. She pulls away all to quickly, lips brushing your ear.

“See how good you taste.” The comment makes you clench your thighs, already anticipating the time you would have when you got home.

“c*m for me”

11/10

-wouldn’t let me all night

-love when she tells me what to do

You had been on the verge all night. Eyes wet with tears and thighs shaking as Kiara brought you to the edge yet again. Your wrists and ankles were bound, keeping you attached to the bed and far away from giving yourself any help. Kie had already cum three times, riding your face like she was made for it. But you weren’t so lucky. Not after you had flirted with Sarah Cameron right in front of Kie. To be fair, Kie had flirted with her too. You had talked about asking her to join the two of you for a wild night. But Kiara hadn’t given you permission, and this was your punishment.

The vibrator was turned to the highest setting, pressed against her clit as she spread her legs wide, forcing you to watch her pleasure herself. The sight of her, absolutely radiant, eyes squeezed shut, moaning your name as she chased her high made butterflies erupt in your belly and your pussy. You wanted nothing more than to touch her, hold her, help her reach absolute bliss just as much as you wanted your own. You strained against your bindings, whimpering as Kie picked up her pace.

“Please, Kie, let me touch you! I want to touch you baby.”

Her dark eyes snap to yours, a smirk on her face.

“Are you sure you don’t want to touch Sarah?” She questions. You shake your head, struggling adamantly against the ropes that bound you. She suddenly stops her movements, crawling up your body until her face hovered over your own.

“Are you going to be a good girl?” She asks.

“Yes, baby, please,” Your eyes are pleading, “Let me touch you.”

She bites her lip as she undoes the knots around your wrists and ankles. You roll them out, rubbing the sore skin. She doesn’t give you much time to adjust, pushing you down on your back and straddling you. Your pussies press together as she holds the vibe between both your clits. Your fingers caress her hips and thighs, massaging her breasts as she starts to rock against you. After all the teasing and close calls through out the night, you were already close. From the way Kie was moving and the curses leaving her mouth, you knew she was too.

“Can I cum, baby, please?” You beg, knowing how much she loves it. She locks eyes with you, eyes filled with lust and love.

“Yes, baby, cum for me,” She moans. You do exactly as she says, screaming as you finally meet your release. She is not far after you, collapsing onto your chest as she moans your name. She grins up at you and your heart explodes at the beautiful mess that she is.

“wow, your body is perfect”

500/10

-made me blush

-gave me butterflies

It was Kiara’s birthday, and you were going to give her the best night of her life. After a day out on the Pogue with the boys, you were almost shaking from excitement as your plans came closer and closer. You jumped out of the boat as John B approached the dock, almost falling in in your hurry. Giving your girlfriend a quick kiss you shout “See you in a few,” over your shoulder as you run to your car.

Everything has to be perfect, so you wait till the very last second fixing every little detail in the room. You hear Kie’s car door slam and scurry into position on the bed. Your heart pounds as you hear the front door open and close, Kie’s foot steps echoing down the hall as she reaches your bedroom. The look on her face as she opens the door makes everything worth it.

She gasps as she takes in the room, flowers and candles scattered around, brand new, silky sheets covering the bed and you on top, dressed in the most beautiful lingerie you could find. Her eyes darken as she meets yours, your perfect make up and seductive smile making her pussy drip.

“Happy birthday, baby,” you say, adjusting your sexy pose on the bed, spreading you legs a little more. Kie groans and starts to remove her clothing.

“Best. Present. Ever.” She giggles as she crawls over you, caressing your fabric covered curves, taking in every inch. She sighs as she kisses down your neck to the curve of your breast, biting your clothed nipple.

“Wow, your body is perfect,” She says as a hand cups your pussy. Butterflies erupt in your stomach as she continues to worship you. “And it’s all mine,” She says, giving you a loving smile before dipping down to lick a stripe up your clothed center. You moan lightly as she continues to caress you, every touch setting you on fire.

“Yes baby, all yours.”

“tease me till im screaming”

1088473928/10

-um yes

-will do

Tonight was the night. Kiara was going to give up control and allow you to dominate her however you want. You’d talked about it a few times, both of you wanting to explore different side of your sexuality. Kiara was feeling subby today. When you were tangled in each other in bed that night, she moved her lips near your ear, biting at your lobe before whispering, “Tease me till I’m screaming.”

Your eyes widen and darken as you gaze at your girlfriend. She bites her lip and nods, laying down on her back and pulling you to hover over her. You start out unsure in your movements fingers skimming over her skin, placing the lightest of touches on her clothed clit, making her breath hitch. You repeat the motion, pressing a tiny bit harder, eliciting a moan from the beautiful girl beneath you as she bucks her hips up to meet your delicate touch.

You smirk, continuing to ghost across her core, holding her hips down. She whimpers, wide, pleading eyes meeting yours and you feel your pussy dampen.

“Do you want me to touch you? Want me to touch that tight little pussy?” You breathe. Kiara just nods.

“Please,” she whimpers. The smirk on your face widens, one hand coming up to squeeze her throat.

“Beg for it,” You growl, echoing the words Kiara had said to you a million times before.

“lick it”

1000000000000/10

-dead

Your anniversary present had finally come in the mail, and you were practically shaking in anticipation as you cut open the box. Kiara was sitting on the other end of the couch, eyes covered like you told her to. You licked your lips as you pulled the object out and grinned at Kiara.

“Okay! Open your eyes!” You chimed. Her hands dropped, her jaw following as she gaped at the black harness, more specifically the long, magenta dildo attached to it. Her surprise fades into a wicked smirk as she takes it from your hands.

“Bed. Now. Your clothes better be gone by the time I get in there.” She commands and you giggle in excitement, hopping off the couch and almost running to the bedroom. You pulls off your clothes, tossing them haphazardly around the room. Back against the head board, your heart pounding in excitement as you wait impatiently for the love of your life to fuck you senseless.

The door slowly swings open and you almost cum just from the sight in front of you. Kie leans against the doorframe, completely nude aside from the strap on around her center. Your mouth is water as she makes her way to you. She grabs you by your ankles pulling you to the edge of the bed and flipping you around so you’re on your stomach, facing her. Taking you by the throat, she slaps the dildo against your cheek a few times.

“Lick it.” She demands and the moan that leaves your mouth is animalistic. You do exactly as she says, mouth dropping open and tongue sticking out to lick up the base. She holds the back of your head, forcing the purple strap into your mouth and down your throat. You feel your eyes water as you gag, but you don’t care.

She pulls out and turns you around once more, slapping your ass roughly as it faces her. Trailing her fingers through your folds, gathering your wetness, you both let out ethereal moans.

“So wet for me already, baby. You’re gonna take this cock so well,” She says, voice low with hunger before slamming into you. You scream out from pleasure and pain as she sets a brutal pace, hands coming around to fondle your breasts.

It doesn’t take long for you to reach your climax, arms collapsing as you do. Kiara pulls out and flips you onto your back, leaning down to capture your lips with her own. The tip of the strap on rubs against your clit as she does, a whimper leaving your lips.

“I love you so much,” She exhales, eyes proving her words.

“I love you too,” You reply, only for the words to fade into a moan as she slowly enters you once more.

“Gonna show you just how much I love you. Gonna make you feel so good, baby,” Kiara says before she begins to pound into you once more, and not for the last time that night.

taglist/moots: @jjmaybby @dontjinx-it @butgilinsky @rekrappeter @diverdcwn @rafecameron @prejudic3 @starlightstarkey @https-luna @sunnypogue @obxmxybxnk @jjmayybank @euphoricheyward @socialwriter @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @peachydrews @outerbanksbro @poguestyleskye @softstarkey @bricksatanakinswindow @mdlyncline @poguemackin @downbytheouterbanks @ptersparkers @prkerspogue @moldisgoodforyou @outrbanks @girlsru1eboysdroo1 @tempestuousjj @stargazingstarkey @anxietyandtacos @uwubonebabie @joshy-obx @sortagaysortahigh @overly-b @highondrew @madelynsclines @cherryobx @royalmerchant @ilovejjmaybank @broken-jj @vindictive-hearts @wtfkie @fttayla

#kiara carerra x reader #kiara carrera smut #kiara carrera imagine #kiara carrera fic #obx fic #my writing

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lilacandladybugs · 4 years ago

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hey since youre talking about christianity, i was wondering if you could answer a question ive been curious about. if god cares about people and if jesus died for our sins, then why does hell exist? and if god cares about us then why did he let so much bad stuff happened in his name, and even cause it, like with the noah’s arch story?

sorry if any of this is wrong ive never read the bible, but ive had bad experiences with christianity in the past and the way you talk about it seems much nicer than the way i know it

I don’t think I can answer this question in a way that doesn’t come across as pretentious or like I’m asking for an argument or just being straight up unsatisfying. But I just am going to try anyway because i'm hoping that maybe this will be comforting or helpful to someone. I’m sorry if this is offensive I am really trying my best, please take this all in the best possible way and be gracious with me

The thing about this ask is that it’s actually a bunch of different questions, and since each of them individually is really hard to answer so I’m going to narrow it down to just one ( im sorry ;-; ) . The one I’ve thought about the most is “Why does God let bad things happen if he loves us?”

When this question first really occurred to me, I was already a believer. So I was already pretty convinced that God exists logically, from the perspective of history, philosophy, science, and my personal experience. I believed in the /existence/ of the God who is represented in the scriptures. (I doubt anyone wants it but I can give you a list of resources if you want to look into any of that.) The struggle for me was whether or not all that evidence held true in the face of this moral dilemma; the problem of evil in the presence of a loving God.

But I just couldn’t turn my back on the concept of a moral grounding in God. I had a philosophy professor tell me that people are mortal and so we shouldn’t grieve them like they’re immortal, that grief is a choice, and that trauma is a choice. I respected her so much, but I just couldn’t accept that. There’s nothing more unsettling to me than suggesting that cruelty and death and suffering are only wrong because you think they are, and not because they’re violating sacred ancient laws. My friends dying, people hurting me, that isn’t just in my head. It’s /real/. They’re really dead, and it really matters. People really did something wrong when they hurt me, and it isn’t my fault for being hurt. It’s their fault for being cruel. And their cruelty is objectively morally wrong.

I realized that if I became an atheist I would have to accept the fact that there isn’t /objectively/ any difference between right and wrong. There isn’t any theoretical “right way” that the world should be. But to me, there is a right way it should be. There is a right way and it was lost because of sin.

It was I guess comforting that Christianity provided the premises I needed to ask a question like this. Evil exists. And love exists. So how can God exist? What a comforting question, in a way. To get to grieve, to be angry, to wonder what’s going on, to want things to be different. It was validating i guess

Don’t get me wrong i was FURIOUS i was so angry. I was so angry and so conflicted I kind of thought I might just like rip apart at my seams but I just felt caught between a rock and a hard place to be either abandoned by God or to not even be able to think about my experiences in a way that felt coherent.

He showed up though. I remember swearing at him, and laying up at night thinking he wasn’t there, I told him I wouldn’t have to have trauma if he would’ve stepped in, that my friends wouldn’t be dead, that he let it happen to me, that he just /witnessed/ it. And man idk he just showed up. He showed up every time. I almost walked away like five times that summer. And every time he sent someone, there was always someone that showed up and talked to me like out of nowhere. Or music, or scripture, or something someone said in passing.

The night that it was really bad was when I realized that the only person who could save me was God and I cried out to him, and I just idk I’ve never been so desperate. I went to church the next day against my will and the sermon felt like it was written for me specifically. I cried through the whole thing.

If God is goodness, then how can I say he isn’t with me and around me constantly? In the sunrise and sunset, in the stars, in flowers, and in kind words. In sermons. In friends and family. In all the coincidences that stopped me from becoming an atheist, all of the answered prayers and the impossibilities. That’s why my side blog is called @in-the-whisper. Because I felt him there, even though it hurt, he was with me in the quiet and in the silence, in his whisper in a thousand different ways.

I was posed this question by someone who was there for me in one of those moments where I almost walked away from God, “Is sufficiency abundant?” I guess I thought it was. Where was God? In the peace that surpasses understanding. In the knowledge that everything is finished, that he died for us, that he didn’t abandon us. That whatever terrible things happen, he was willing to take all of the consequences for that onto himself in the person of Jesus. That one day he will set things right, even though it isn’t right right now.

It comes down to the Gospel (good news, core story of the Christian faith); humanity actively chose to walk away from God in an act of rebellion. We had free will because God created us tenderly to be in a loving relationship with him, and loving relationships must be based on free will and they must be two way. So he let us walk away from him, and away from the sustainer of life our bodies break, our world crumbles, and we die. In order to bridge that gap, he chose to die in our place, so that we could re enter that free will relationship with him if we so choose. He died on the cross, descended into hell, and then in three days he rose from the grave, defeating death. And one day he will return on a white horse to rescue us and to take the world back as his own. If I believed that to be true, then I believed in the greatest intervention in human history that has ever occurred. The God of the Bible isn’t a distant God, "God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him." 1 John 4:9 He did the unthinkable for us.

Living in light of the gospel helped me to understand the way that God is present in my life, my present, past, and in my future. It gave me peace. When Horatio G. Spafford’s two daughters and wife died in a shipwreck, he wrote this,

“When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul."

“Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, let this blest assurance control: that Christ has regarded my helpless estate and has shed His own blood for my soul.

“My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought. My sin, not in part, but the whole, is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

“And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight The clouds be rolled back as a scroll The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend Even so, it is well with my soul!

“It is well with my soul, it is well, it is well with my soul.”

I don’t have an answer for your question. What I know is that I am willing to rest in the knowledge of my personal experiences and my research that God exists, that he is loving, and that he is powerful, just, and wise. Even the winds and the seas obey him, the mountains are like pebbles to him, thunder rolls at the sound of his voice. He had thought before time began, he gave all knowledge and all wisdom to us.

Why do bad things happen also brings up the question, why do good things happen? Who do we have to thank when we get up in the morning and can see or hear or move or are alive in general? Why are we so blessed as to have two days and not just one? Where do mornings and complexity and beauty and wonder come from? They come from him. Not because we need it, but because he wants to give it to us. Enjoyment, existence, love, laughter, thought, beauty, heartbreak. The world is just as beautiful as it is terrible, and why should it be beautiful? Because he wants it to be that way.

God is so patient. He is so patient and kind and powerful, and he wants to hear your questions. Some of them, like this one, are in my opinion something that you have to talk to him about directly. He gives us thought and logic and reason and wisdom, and he asks for us to engage him. He will answer.

If any believers are reading this, I want you to know that it is enough to cry out to him in pain. It is enough to want to want to believe in him. He would so much rather hear from you in your anger than never hear from you at all. Seek him out, he will find you. He will chase after you.

I bet that he would chase after me, bet my life on it. I might not know the answer, but I am confident enough in what I do know that I’m willing to bet my existence that God will come true on his promises, that he will deliver me, that everything will be okay, that he is bigger than my trauma, and that he will hold me.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. 10 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. 12 You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. 13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown, for an everlasting sign, that will endure forever.” Isaiah 55:8-13

And I’m holding him to that promise.

#christianity #religion #christianity tw #religion tw #god #grief #grief tw #ask to tag #anon #this is definitely insufficient and im sorry #this is all i have to offer right now #its a hard thing to articulate ig #not mcyt

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brushes-of-sage · 5 years ago

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If all 8 parts dont come thru blame tumblr and their ask limit frozen au idea: ok so yeah varian was born with ice powers(btw i have no idea if hugos adopted in this au or not, it might come back later, my brain is just spitting things at me atm)Varian hugo quirin and ulla were a happy family until one day and accident involving alchemy, ice magic, and a startled alchemist involves in both parents getting trapped in a giant amber trap(Hugo comes in just as the amber finishes consuming them)(1/8)

After this, varian is scared of himself and his abilities both in magic and alchemy. He now wears his gloves 24/7 as opposed to just during experimenting(varian is 9, hugo is 8 kinda like elsa and anna but flipped(i think)) Any confidence he had in his abilities is immediately shattered and try as he might he cant seem to free his parents with magic alchemy or both. Hugo tries to help as much he can but varian is too scared and doesnt want to hurt him. After doing some research,(2/8)

he tries to ask for the trolls help but they cant so he requests they erase his memories of varians power, for fear of hurting his brother (he cant seem to keep hugo out of his lab. He feels horrible about it but cant risk hurting his only family left) Btw i dont c varian hurting hugo accidentally as well i dont think he could emotionally handle it, but all u angst writers, knock urselves out. Fast forward a few years and varian is 21 and about to be crowned king bc he still hasnt found(3/8)

a way to free his parents. While at the coronation party hugo meets donella, quickly filling the mother role he wished he had. Little does he know, she is only posing as a foreign dignitary bc she heard rumors about a magical prince hiding in arendelle and wants to exploit/study it. By the end of the evening she determines its not hugo, but hopes getting in hugos good graces could help getting to varian. Fast forward to the ballroom, the brothers argue (about what i dunno), ice spikes, (4/8)

varian runs, hugo leaves to follow him, and leaves donella in charge. I also headcannon he gets his memories back as the movie goes on bc reasons. Along the way, he runs into belle, a hardened ice harvester whos seriously annoyed about this snow storm in july.(dont worry guys hugo and belle dont fall in love, theyre just friends)They trek their way up the mountain while varian builds himself an ice lab cuz hes a dork. Along the way they meet ice ruddiger("Im sorry u 2 made a snow raccoon but(5/8

not a snowman?" "shut up Belle")So they make it to the lab, Hugos impressed, he wants to reconcile, but varian still has Confidence Issues, insert first time in 4evr reprise and whoopsies Hugos heart is frozen and his hair is turning blue(its already blond) and Belle takes him to the trolls. They tell him “an act of true love” like b4 but they interpret it as familial/platonic love bc that love doesnt get enough love. He thinks its donella bc just like how anna was desperate for love,(6/8)

hugo was desperate for some sort of parental figure, and rushes back, insert evil monologue by donella here. The rest of the movie pretty much plays out as b4: varian is captured, donella continues playing good guy, hugo gets out of the locked library, slowly freezing as he makes his way across the fjord insert art by mom, love heals, parents are finally free, gates are open roll credits. This is honestly something ive been thinking about all day and this au now lives in my mind rent free.(7/8)

I know there are plot holes and missing elements, but this is what i have so far, i lowkey love it, and if u have any questions pls ask, i wanna elaborate this au as much as possible and questions will help and pls tag mom i want her to c this. Sorry if this is too long i just have a lot of thoughts. And oh my goodness that means so much that you've gotten invested tysm(8/8) -💙

Response under cut

Okay, first off oh my heart, I need this movie now akfjakfja (and tagging @cinn-a-mom too ‘cause bless)

So lil Varian is the partial cause of the encasement, right? ‘Cause oh gosh, this poor kid being so enthused by alchemy and now has powers and all of that building up to encasing his parents?? Someone give him a hug 🥺🥺 (and omigosh if this does end up being where Hugo is somehow adopted into the family, just ohhhhh, him coming in at that moment is just *tears*)

And ohhhhh, I love how you slightly changed it to, if I understood right, Varian requesting that the trolls take away Hugo’s memories of his powers - ‘cause this kid is just wanting to help and Varian is scared and worried of hurting him, so he sees this as an option to protect him. (And ohhh, while the angst of him accidentally hurting Hugo with his powers is definitely wonderful, now I’m just imagining smol Varian going to the trolls and pleading for them to help and then coming to the decision to take away Hugo’s memories. Like OH MY HEART-)

And ohhh, I don’t think it’d play such a big part in the story, but as they’re both growing up, who’s acting regent at the moment? Or at least I’m just musing how things would be as they’re growing up since they were kids when Quirin and Ulla were encased (and if you don’t have any thoughts for it yet, that’s totally cool 🤗)

Ajfkakfjka Donella posing as a foreign dignitary to find the ‘magical prince’ to study is ahhhhhhhh- And then Hugo being drawn to her as the mother figure he’d always wanted and lacked for so long????? Lemme just

*sobs*

(Ajfkakdj Varian is SUCH A DORK OMIGOSH I LOVE HIM)

And omigosh, the whole dynamics between Belle and Hugo would be hilarious (“Shut up Belle” while she’s laughing yessss) Also snow/ice Ruddiger is absolutely adorable ahhhhh!

Hnnnnnngggg First Time I’m Forever Reprise and Hugo believing that Donella could break the spell (and ahhhhhh, I can just barely imagine how that monologue would go down - how she was never there for him, why would anyone want him - oh gosh, insert “More Than Just the Spare” ‘cause that’s literally how he’s feeling ahhhh - aldjgjlad even more so especially if he was adopted/taken in because he’ll feel even more isolated after all of this had happened, which is another reason why he was drawn to Donella in the first place)

And then cue Cinn’s art where Hugo sacrifices himself for Varian and we’re here to see all of the tears and sobbing and feels akfjakfjaj

BUT OMIGOSH I FREAKING LOVE THIS - Varian and all of his issues in confidence and his struggle to overcome it, Hugo and his issues in wanting to feel loved from having been pushed away for so long, you mentioned Belle was hardened so I’m excited to see her soften up ajfkakdj, and then DONELLA HECK YEAH - I was not expecting the route you took but I love it so much that it gave me chills ahhhhhh.

Wonder how Quirin and Ulla react to all of this once they get out ‘cause they’ve all grown so much and their kingdom as well

I freaking love this AU and the angst lord in me, while quite enjoying the soft and the fluff, is grinning quite malevolently at the angsty scenes hehehehehe, but seriously, this is AWESOME 😱

#varian and the seven kingdoms #frozen au #varian #hugo #donella #varian and the 7 kingdoms #sage answers #holy gosh this au is phenomenal though and ahhhhhh I love it #sorry if my thoughts are a bit scattered today hehehehe #but omigosh this is great #if you've got more to share then by all means add on to this beauty

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ofgoodmenarchive · 5 years ago

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The second in a series of drabbles exploring my Blood Mage!Dorian.

Spring Thaw

Perhaps he was getting ahead of himself.

No- he was definitely getting ahead of himself.

At the very least, Dorian shouldn't have discarded the Venatori's equipment so impulsively. It was possible- even likely- the Herald would be immune to his charms. If no attraction existed between them to start with, then he'd forsaken his current, sole employment for nothing.

Introducing himself was also a complex matter. His subject of fixation was more often than not swarmed by Chantry puppets- Inquisition puppets, whatever.

Either way, they'd be wary of something like him.

Which would be perfectly sensible, if we're being honest...

For days he stalked them through the Hinterlands, camping out of sight- preferably at high vantage points. On this occasion he'd discovered a homely cave dug into a cliff, with an ideal view of the Inquisition camp. They'd organised around a half-crumbled tower, wrangling full command of the King's Road at this end.

It took time to accomplish- Dorian had spectated most of the work. The Templar-Mage conflict was their main concern- by now almost completely eliminated. Still there was plenty of trouble to be had, Dorian knew.

Are they even aware of the Venatori yet?

Indeed for now they mostly focused on the resident lyrium-smugglers. To be fair, they were a nuisance- and had not enough sense to leave the Inquisition unmolested.

In his shadowing he concluded a few things, at least.

For one, the Herald was a mage with an affinity for ice. Admittedly Dorian felt stupid for not realising on their first encounter. That sword of light channelled the man's will, swaying him towards close combat. Odd for a mage- so Dorian didn't berate himself much for failing to notice.

Secondly, the man was Spirit-bound. To what sort of spirit and for what purpose, Dorian couldn't guess. He'd only concluded this due to a chance look at his weapon- a summoning circle was inscribed into the hilt. An insanely reckless thing to attempt- unless your will and the spirit's could work in perfect unison.

We have something in common, at least!

Though Dorian was positive none regarded him as an Abomination.

Lastly, the Herald was unaccustomed to such close work with humans. Dorian rarely overheard conversation but frequently witnessed him seeming lost, needing elaboration on what appeared self-evident.

Overall he was somewhat peculiar, even for an elf.

“You know...” Dorian mused while building a small fire for the night. “I'm already feeling chipper. It's probably a trick of the mind, since there's potential for a meal...but wouldn't it be funny if my desire was feeding into itself?”

An unamused grumble responded and he frowned at his shadow- slumped morosely against the cave entrance, like a wrung out towel.

“Yes, yes, I know that's not how it works.” Dorian rebuffed, scowling. “I'm just saying I don't mind all this creeping around! Or I don't mind it yet...give it a while, I suppose...”

The Herald of Andraste...

…probably also does not speak to himself.

“Well I'm not speaking to myself, am I?!” He countered, huffing. “I'm speaking to you!- And you're being especially bratty today!”

Desire slouched down the cliff-wall until it was almost flat.

Dorian spluttered with laughter.

“You're like a cat, you know!? An ominous, perverted cat.”

The creature bubbled sadly, giving no answer.

Rolling his eyes, Dorian would have returned to working on the fire- except Desire's head emerged from it's puddle, leering down the slope.

“Hrm...?” He followed it's gaze, squinting. “Something happening down there...?”

A tall figure wandering from camp, accompanied by a much shorter one- the Herald and his dwarf ally.

“Where are they wandering off to on their own...?” He frowned at his shadow. “Should they really be doing that?”

Desire shrugged, shoulders casting ripples along it's spooled form.

“For some reason...” Dorian swiped his staff from nearby. “I don't like it. Let's make sure nothing bothers them, yes?”

Maker forbid the elf get himself killed- it would be a waste of his whole week!

The pair strode upon the King's Road, moonlight leading their path and their path leading Dorian- always close behind but not too close. Eventually they paused at a road-marker, muttered between themselves and appeared to wait.

Are they missing one of their people, or something..?

Regardless of the situation, whatever was meant to occur, didn't. Exchanging anxious stares, the duo walked further along, ignorant to Dorian's presence as he slunk from shadow to shadow.

Within minutes all heard the same thuggish shouting- accented in Ferelden, somewhere amidst an outcrop of limestone. Sprinting forward, the Herald and his companion hunched behind cover, in frantic discussion.

Wanting a full perspective, Dorian climbed ledges as stealthily as possible. Once he had an ideal view, he sat and assessed.

Lyrium-smugglers again, of course. Carta, perhaps? No one Dorian had ties with, whoever they were. More than a dozen- with enough heavies in their ranks to pose serious threat to a miniscule party.

A party of two, for example, would likely be obliterated.

Dorian could see why there was discourse between the Herald and his friend. An Inquisition scout knelt among the group, bleeding and mid-interrogation.

So they did lose someone...

Now the Herald wished to attempt rescue and his companion reasonably disagreed. Even out of earshot, Dorian could tell who was winning- through pure stubbornness alone.

Glancing behind, he spotted that looming, bratty shadow of his.

“I hope you're ready to actually work for your meal.”

Not a second passed after his speech before all erupted into chaos. The Herald careened through the group, carried along paves of ice. Flailing and visibly irritated, the dwarf scrambled onto a high-point, where he could launch arrows from some elaborate crossbow.

Skidding from his perch, Dorian leapt into the fray.

Blood had already touched ground- that didn't bode well for anything near him. The grinning skull of his staff raised high, he willed every drop of lost life into himself. It swirled around him in crimson ribbons- he hadn't even channelled a form before people screamed.

“MALEFICAR!”

Earning a wild, blood-crazed laugh from him as he barrelled forth, slicing enemies with their own pain- weaponised. Anyone struck deep enough and lacking proper resistance became crazed, attacking all in their proximity.

It had been a while since he'd stretched his abilities for combat- quite invigorating, really! Not to mention all the blood- a fair snack, though not his usual preference. Licking some from his fingers, Dorian launched into another attack and found himself brushing passed blizzard.

Swivelling to face it, he bore his teeth in a personable manner.

Winter-touched eyes regarded him quizzically, then vanished into battle.

Moments later and it was done- together with the scout, their enemy was reduced to a pile of corpses.

Inhaling, Dorian glimpsed the dwarf and recruit in breathless conversation. Elsewhere stood the Herald- sheathing his weapon, sighing with relief.

Talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk.

Maker, stop it! Yes, I see.

This was the closest opportunity he was chance to get.

Awkwardly, uncharacteristically- Dorian hesitated.

TALK-TALK-TALK-T

I SAID STOP THAT! I'M GOING!

Mustering composure, he sauntered that direction, beaming.

“Greetings, friend!”

The Herald blinked from wiping stained hands, eyes widening a second later.

“...Who are you?” He mumbled, automatically hunching to Dorian's level- as he'd witnessed many times.

“Me?” He laughed airily- had to restrain more when the elf flinched. “My name is Dorian Pavus...and you would be the Herald of Andraste, no?”

Much hesitation from this so-called Herald- the poor man's eyes darted as if seeking attendance, white complexion reddening. Effortless traits for human eyes to see- and then there were aspects only Dorian would see. A quickened pulse, hitched breath, heightened temperature...

Well, that answers that question...

But...I really didn't intend to give the poor fool a heart-attack.

He hadn't even exercised his will in any fashion- just introduced himself! The Herald's clan must have been terribly isolationist, if that's all it took to fluster him.

“That...is what they say...” He managed after a long pause, brow furrowing. “...Have you been following me, Dorian Pavus?”

Oh, I like that.

So formal.

“Only for your own protection, my darling Herald!” He chuckled warmly, gestured to their fallen opponents. “As you can so clearly see.”

Another drawn out silence, pale features struggling to stay that way and failing- pink had spread to his neck.

“You are from Tevinter.” He observed clumsily.

Dorian's head tilted.

“Nothing gets passed you, does it?”

The Herald didn't seem to know how to respond, grasping air dumbly and again searching around for aid. Deciding to provide such aid, Dorian inquired;

“Since I gave you my name- may I have yours?”

Though fidgeting, he offered;

“Lavellan.”

“That would be a last name, no?”

“I do not tend to give my first.”

“You don't 'tend to'...” He smiled, shamelessly familiar. “So you might make an exception?”

Something about this caught the elf off guard- absolutely flushed. He merely stared as though Dorian proposed he strip to his undergarments.

“Uhh...hey, there.” The dwarf ambled to them before Lavellan could recover.

“Ah, hello!” Determined to make a good impression, Dorian stuck out his hand. “Dorian Pavus! Pleased to make your acquaintance!”

The Dwarf relented to a light shake, inspecting him doubtfully.

“Varric Tethras- pleased to make yours..” He knit his brow, glanced between the two men. “...I guess.”

All the while Lavellan was statuesque, face crimson and attention flying everywhere.

“...You okay, Lord Heraldness?”

“I...am fine- I am fine.” He practically squeaked. “I think...Cassandra will wish us back at camp...right now...im...immediately.”

Incapable of restraining himself, Dorian roared with mirth and hoped it didn't sound unkind.

“We'll talk soon, my dear Herald.” He bid farewell with more obvious warmth. Lavellan swiftly fled- half-marching, half-scurrying, Varric at his heels.

-–

Dirt and blood raced beneath his feet. Evallan Lavellan fought to correct the hue of his face.

“...Are you okay?” Varric- barely audible above the sound of his heartbeat.

“I am fine!” He snapped, shrill. “I just...was not prepared for...for that.”

Varric's expression scrunched inwards, perplexed.

“Prepared for what?”

Speech died on Evallan's tongue, frowning helplessly at his companion. He barely had the words in his own language, how could he explain with the vocabulary they both shared?

All the human mages he'd encountered- they were so reserved, tame.

He couldn't imagine any human to carry themselves so shamelessly- draped in blood and bone, cackling and grinning through danger. Formidable yet exercising flawless control- so at ease in his nature.

And Mythal have mercy- Those eyes- deadly flares of red and gold.

Absolutely wild.

He must be mad.

“...Oh, Maker's breath, Herald...” Evallan became aware he'd been glaring into space. “Don't worry- I won't tell anyone you took one look at the weirdo-'Vint-blood-mage and turned into a tomato.”

He flushed every shade of red imaginable, snapping-

“I said I was not prepared!”

“I wasn't prepared either!” Varric chortled. “And I do not look like you do right now!”

Groaning, Evallan sped his pace, wishing for nothing more than to hide in his tent and scream until humiliation subsided.

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #inquisition #dai #dorian pavus #blood mage dorian #blood mage #maleficar #pavellan #lavellan #m!lavellan #inquisitor lavellan #dorian pavus x inquisitor lavellan #dorian pavus x inquisitor #trying not to spam tags when all the content I make is dragon age rip #my writing #my aus

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itsbuckysworld · 6 years ago

Text

Yoga 101 | pt.1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader Guest Appearance: Natasha World: AU.

Warnings: fluffy, mentions of smut in the form of thinking too much about how sexy bucky is, language.

Summary: Yoga would be the perfect activity for relaxing and just letting your mind go blank, if the yoga instructor wasn’t so fucking nice and so damn hot.

A/N: written for the #omnomwritingchallenge1.1k. My word choice was yoga, so I present to you, Yoga with Bucky. AND THIS IS SO LATE IM SO SORRY @omnomsauruswrites

Smooches! xoxo L

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED until i get back in the groove of writing and finish at least half the things I’ve planned to write.

Huge huge huge thanks to @delicatelyherdreams, @caitfairwrites and @sunmoonandbucky. Through the almost a month that took me to write this, they helped me with typos, cheering me on and assuring me this was worth writing. I will forever be so grateful to them, and they are now stuck with me loving them too much so whoops. Gifs not mine

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»»————-　　————-««

You stepped out of your car with your brand new yoga mat rolled nicely under your arm, and looked at the text on your phone and then at the building in front of you. This was the place. You groaned slightly.

Your friend Natasha had suggested – well, more like forced you – to sign up for a yoga class. You’d argued right back that you didn’t need it and that there was no use signing up for one when you could probably download an app and do the stretches at home just fine, but she was not having it. You remember her stern stare and calm voice telling you that you definitely needed it, and could benefit from it, and something about how you just had to believe her. Plus “yoga at home isn’t the same as yoga in a class”. It wasn’t even the same commitment, and before you could protest anymore, not that she’d back off if you did have something to say back, she had pulled up the page for a yoga place that had great classes and teachers, saying she had tried it herself.

A yoga class was the last place you wanted to be today. Your day hadn’t been the best and you were still on the fence about the whole thing despite knowing deep down you needed something to help you destress. Your job was growing more and more stressful as the days went by, and your limbs ached in the mornings because you had so much pent up tension keeping you from a restful night’s sleep. On top of that, you didn’t have time anymore to fit in any other type of exercise to keep yourself active and it was starting to bother you. Even if you weren’t on top of fitness and gym trends, you liked to try and keep your body active, it was part of a healthy life and right now, your life was just work, work, work; stress, stress, stress.

So you frowned as you looked at the time slots, the classes and what not, and before Natasha had gone home from your place that night, you had signed up, quickly so as not to retract, and decided to make space for the supposedly never intrusive, always helpful – as Nat had put it – activity.

You found the room you were supposed to be in and set up at a perfect distance from the front – not too close you’d be all up next to the teacher like an eager student, and not too far that you’d miss out on what the teacher explained – and sat quietly as the room filled in.

You placed your hands on your thighs as you kneeled and exhaled, eyes closed.

You wish you hadn’t as the ruckus eased around you and next time you did glance around, there was a man setting up at the front, clearly the teacher.

To be clear, you didn’t care that the instructor was a man. What you were absolutely freaking out about – battling to remain completely calm on the outside – was that the instructor was a Greek god of a man.

“Good day class. How’s everyone doing?” All the ladies and the one other guy in the room greeted him back, but not you. Your brain didn’t know what words were anymore.

He invited the class to sit on their mats in a relaxed position, and you quietly took him in. The chiseled jaw, the lean muscles – God bless that tank top he was wearing. His hair was pushed back somewhat messily to a small bun, some strands hugging the back of his neck and a soft beard. For a moment you were so captivated by how good he looked that you stumbled from your seated position to what he called next a moment too late. He was so gorgeous you hadn’t even noticed or cared for the shining metal arm – if anything that dark metal with gold accents really suited him – but you definitely didn’t look at it. Not when he did warrior pose and showed his back muscles.

Delicious.

“And breathe deeply,” he said, his voice resonating around the room.

Breathe? Oh, right! You were supposed to breathe, and focus on the class and relax. You shook your head, doing the best you could to maintain your balance as you copied his moves and changed poses.

For the most part, you thought yoga would be simple. A couple of nice stretches and breathing exercises to clear your head and give you peace of mind – and really pop your back because, God, was your office chair a torture device. On paper it sounded delightful, but this? The truth was it was absolute torture and more than a little embarrassing.

You struggled through every pose, noticing how minimal the looks from the rest of the class towards the teacher were. The Adonis of a man would call something like Half Moon to the left to warm up, and no one would bat an eye, switching their bodies to extend an arm and a leg in the air, somehow keeping perfect balance, and yet there you were, doing the pose too late, focusing on copying the person next to you to get it right and fighting for your life to not fall flat on your face, the leg that was planted on the ground shaking with stress.

And you’d expect to move to Half Moon on the right, right? But he would transition over to whatever King Dancer on the left was, and there you were back at zero trying to figure out what the hell was happening.

You lost your footing more than once. Tried – and failed – your best to discreetly shuffle your yoga mat even further from people, because, you know, yoga mats are supposed to not slip.

You could feel your face burning red hot, not only from the physical activity that was rushing to be up to speed with these yoga freaks and fighting “Lady Gravity” for the most part of an hour, but from failing miserably at even the relaxed poses in front of everyone, specially when you locked eyes with the instructor and his lips curved into a smile, watching you struggle with the extended side angle, clearly laughing at your excuse of a yoga pose. God, why did he have to be so cute? You think you would be a little less flustered had he been a woman or anyone other than every hot movie star melted together watching you fail miserably.

Yet you couldn’t keep your eyes off him. His voice was gruff and soothing, strong and tender. He would remind everyone to breathe and you found it hard to, because he gave you chills. The way he exhaled along with some words, making your mind wander. He walked around the class at some point, observing people’s forms, correcting positions and giving tips. You were absolutely sure you’re going to have wild dreams just based on how warm his hand was when he touched your elbow, indicating you to extend your arm properly while doing Balancing Table, his voice fading away as you kept impure thoughts at bay.

As the class did final stretches he kept his eyes on you, that smile of his still there, and you could see it mocking you. You could hear it in the way there was a bit of a laugh at the beginning of his sentences, and you puffed out your cheeks with a frown. He was cute but he was an ass for laughing at you. He moved to extend a leg almost to his forehead, hands grabbing his foot and eyebrows raised at you, before talking to the whole class.

“Let’s extend into Heron, right leg up” and without hesitation everyone did so, the same pose he was showing you before.

Oh wait, was he teaching you what was coming next? It was a relatively easy pose – had it not been for the position of your other leg – and for the last few minutes of the class, he kept transitioning into poses before calling them out, looking straight at you and giving you a small smile when you did your best to copy them. Okay, a little less of an ass now, still very cute. Damn.

The room started to clear out after a few moments in Corpse – a pose you knew well – and you took your time reincorporating afterwards, too comfy to move. Then you arched your back that somehow still felt impossibly sore – weren’t you here to release that tension? Where was that desired pop? – before you stood to pack up your things.

“Hi there”

You recognised the voice behind you, the one you had been hearing it for the past 40 minutes, giving directions and huskily delivering material for you to think about on lonely nights. Another shake of your head put you in the right mindset to face him.

“Hi!” your response was a little excited, but you didn’t have energy to feel embarrassed anymore. “Sorry,” you said, and the man shook his head, chuckling slightly.

“You’ve never done yoga before, then?”

“That obvious?” He laughed out loud this time, but you knew he wasn’t laughing at you.

“What gave it away, my terrible balance or my deer caught in headlights face at everything you said?”

“I think it was more the fact that you only knew Corpse.”

You were in trouble. He was even more good looking up close. From the distance you had been at during the class, you could only see defined muscle. From arms length, he was so much more. Smooth skin. Long dark lashes that made ocean blue eyes pop like none other you had ever seen. A killer smile that made the cutest crinkles appear by his eyes, and his laugh was gorgeous. All in all, it wasn’t fair. Whatever flaw he had better come up really quick.

“I don’t really mind the stumbling, Lord knows I can’t keep Half Lotus Tree for long –” you gave him a pointed look and he clasped his hands in front of his chest – “you have no idea what that is. Right” The two of you chuckled as you danced on the balls of your feet, biting the inside of your cheek. He took a deep breath and continued, “Point is, you shouldn’t sign up for an advanced class if it’s your first time. Mainly because you could injure yourself.”

“Wait, advanced?” You blanked. “I mean, duh, of course it was advanced, but I signed up for beginner.” You fished inside your bag for your phone.

“I don’t teach any beginner classes. I don’t think we have any this time around.” He grimaced, an apologetic look painting his features.

“No, I definitely –”

Advanced Yoga, 6PM, room 505 – you read it when you pulled up the email, eyes running over the words over and over. Everything made sense now. You sigh and run a hand down your face.

“Okay that’s… great. My mistake. This whole thing was probably a mistake.” He made motion to say something but you put your hands up, waving them in front of you. “I should go. Sorry again for… that. Thanks for the class, I guess.” And with that you turned on your heel and walked away, wanting the earth to swallow you whole. Did you seriously just go in the wrong class, made a fool of yourself, and then thanked the guy for it?

It was decided. You’d call and try to get your money back, yoga was clearly a bad idea. You stepped outside and fumbled with your bag in search for your keys, huffing and puffing, blowing a strand of hair off your face. A hand is placed on your shoulder and they turn you around.

“Excuse me, miss?”

You look to find the yoga instructor again. Bucky, the email said. You had missed that too the first time reading through. If anything it’s nice to finally put a name to the face, anything to stop your brain from calling him a hunk of a man.

He’s fixing his bag on his shoulder and giving you a concerned look that warms you inside. For some reason it’s sweet almost, how he looks at you and gives you a side smile. There’s something about how welcoming his features are that you can’t quite place. “I know it’s none of my business but… please- uh, would you consider continuing yoga?”

You arch an eyebrow at him, and he takes his hand off your shoulder, taking a few steps back as he stammers through his sentence and waves his hands in front of him.

“I mean. It’s really good. I know I probably sound like the cliché yogi in movies, but… It helped me a lot, at the beginning I didn’t even want to try, but it helped so much that… That’s a story for another time I guess –” He chuckled then, scratching the back of his head with that metal hand of his and curiosity peaks inside you – “I just know, it’s a great outlet, or aid, to whatever your life is right now.”

He didn’t assume or act like he could read you, and didn’t try to sell you that you’re clearly stressed – maybe so much that people can see it from down the street – and yoga is the magical ointment that takes it all away. He’s not trying to convince you to stay because he gets paid or because he just wants more people in his class. The way he looks at you and speaks to you, he’s really sharing something that helped him for the sake of it.

You sigh.

“I don’t know. I clearly can’t stay in an advanced class. Maybe I should just try again when there’s a beginner and...” You shrugged – “I don’t know”

He bites down on his bottom lip and it takes a lot from you to not look, to not let your mind wander.

“Are you free Wednesdays and Fridays?” His question snapped you out of your thoughts – so much for trying not to get them derailed – and he cleared his throat. “I teach an intermediate class those days. Same time. It’d be easier to show you the basic moves, and maybe you could come a little earlier and I could run you through them and… get you up to speed in a way?”

You gape at him for a few seconds, his scrunched up brows and soft features, almost resembling a puppy. You won’t admit it just yet but Bucky is selling you on this yoga thing too well. A nervous chuckle escapes your lips, and your fingers play with your card keys. Intermediate wasn’t beginner, there was no way, right? The universe must be saying something and you should be listening.

“Maybe yoga isn’t the thing for me, you know? Intermediate could still be too hard for me to–” There’s a car honking by the entrance that cuts your sentence short. Bucky motions the car to wait and he turns to look at you with understanding covering his face. And yet it’s like Bucky can read your hesitation, almost tipping over to say yes, and he has one last pitch to finish selling you on everything.

“I get it. But hey, look, if you want less commitment to start –” He opens his bag and pulls out a notepad and pen. He uses his knee to scribble something, and he’s handing you the ripped piece of paper with his metal arm, the other hand busy steadying his bag back on his shoulder – “There’s this free open air yoga group on Saturdays. 4PM. I join them most times, worth a shot.” The smile he gives you has your knees feeling like jelly – you would have gotten a great use of some jelly legs back in class to do any of those twists. A little late now, joints – with a little wave and a wink added to that dashing smile of his, he’s leaving you there on the lobby, staring at the piece of paper with the address and other details of this “zero commitment” group, scribbled in his neat handwriting. You sigh knowing very well you’re not going to be coming back to yoga.

»»————-　　————-««

Damn you, Bucky Barnes.

That’s all you’re thinking as you lock your car and enter the fated park on Saturday. Damn him for being so cute, and such a fierce advocate for stupid yoga.

Natasha has this gloating look on her face as she follows you. A proud, shit eating grin. She hasn’t stopped crowing that she sold you on yoga, that you were wrong, and she was right about you ending up loving it, so much so that you even mentioned a Saturday class – one she had to tag along for. She’s really feeling like she’s on a high horse right now, and who are you to knock her off? You could live with a little mocking. Besides, the last thing you wanted was for her to know the real reason you were coming to this yoga class was that damned Bucky Barnes. Although, the moment you find him, she’ll definitely smell it off you.

Damn you, Bucky Barnes.

You didn’t want to even admit it to yourself, but after three days of looking at the stupid piece of paper, and having the time and place burned into memory, you couldn’t lie to your own face anymore; you were going to go to that stupid outside class.

As the two of you near the area where you see people set up mats on the grass, you’re not paying attention to Nat as she talks about whatever. You’re too busy trying to spot Mr. Too-Hot-For-Words in the distance.

Jesus, why are you so desperate to see him? Oh, right, he was cute and nice to you, that’s why.

When you do spot him, there’s a sudden urge, a tingle all over your body, to turn back around and go home, hide under your covers and down a pint of ice cream. Abort. There’s no way you can do a yoga class with him around! Not only are you a beginner, but you have learned in just one instance that you can’t focus when he’s there to look at. This was a horrible idea.

But just your luck, he spots you as well and your eyes meet. His beautiful, beautiful eyes. No turning back now. Damn him for looking so good in those gym shorts and fitted sports wear. Damn him for having his hair down, does he not know how he looks? Damn him for rushing to meet you, a wide grin drawn on his face, as if he’d been waiting for you.

“Hey,” he places a hand on your shoulder, “you came!” “I came.” You say shakily, cheeks feeling on fire, an awkward laugh catching in your throat and you hear Natasha immediately going silent. Not good, not good.

Bucky glances up and greets Nat with a firm handshake, introducing himself, and then returning his attention to you, with that teeth baring smile of his, crinkles by his eyes. There’s something wrong with your heart, it’s beating too fast.

He claps his hands together and clears his throat.

“I’m glad you could come. So this ‘class’–” he air quotes – “is very… What’s the word? Free?” another chuckle escapes his lips and the wind moves his hair, making him look like he’s in a commercial for something – his scent, definitely. He smells so good.

“You just join whatever little group you feel like and you all do a routine.” he waves his hand, motioning for you to follow him a little farther from the group, where his mat is placed. “I was thinking maybe you can be with me, and I can show you the basics, if that’s ok with you?”

You stutter, trying to find the words to say, and in a last attempt at some help, you turn towards Nat, hoping she’s read the situation and can help you out, but just like the little shit she can be, she’s just giving you a knowing smirk and not saying a single word.

“Sure,” you look back to Bucky. “Nat and I would love to” “Uh, actually…”

Okay, now you want to say something Natasha? She gives you a coy smile.

“I think I’m going to join that group over there, they seem more up to my speed.”

You glare at her. Of course Natasha, what a great friend, you’re basically screaming at her with your eyes and she’s just nonchalantly acting like she doesn’t know what she’s doing wrong. You begin to hate that she knows you too well, and that she’s so cheeky and mischievous you should have seen something like this coming. You should have not let her tag along for this damned class.

“You’re not new to yoga as well?” Bucky asks, genuinely interested, and Nat waves a hand in front of her face as if dismissing the idea. “Oh no, I used to go to the center, I was in a class with Ms. Potts last year.”

“Oh! Ms. Potts is so amazing!” Nat nods at him “In that case, yeah, that group would be more up your alley.”

“Cool.” In a simple skip she’s gone, leaving you with Bucky who looks straight out of a photoshoot.

Thankfully he didn’t read any of the looks shared between you and your best friend. That or he’s deciding to ignore them, which, bless him if he is; the last thing you need is any more embarrassment.

“Shall we begin?” There’s that forsaken smile again, like he doesn’t know it makes you lose the ability of speech whenever he flashes it at you. Like he doesn’t know he’s got to have lines of women fantasising about him while he does his poses. Like he doesn’t know your heartbeat is the same as whenever you jump on a treadmill and do cardio.

You’re giving yourself the pep-talk of a lifetime inside your head. You can do this, all you have to do is stay focused in the stretches and positions and, no matter what, do not embarrass yourself by letting your mind wander off to more… Bucky-related things, when you’ve literally been left alone with him under the wonderful shade of oak trees. Easy enough, right? He isn’t even that cute. You can do this, you got this. You so got this.

He grabs your mat from your hands and sets it up perpendicular to his, offering his hand to help you get down to the first seated position and making shivers run down your spine.

This is going to be impossible.

Damn you, Bucky Barnes. Damn you, Natasha.

»»————-　　————-««

A/N: Hope you guys liked this! Part two will be coming tomorrow :) What did you think of yogi bucky?

Please any feedback is greatly appreciated, i was very doubtful of this piece.

Have a good day lovelies!

HERES MY ASK ||| Masterlist

xoxo, Little L.

#omnomwritingchallenge1.1k #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #fluff #yoga #yoga AU #this is so late i am so sorry #writing challenges i joined

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tallat-of-thralls · 6 years ago

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My deity(ies) experience

Part 1: Childhood and teenagehood story of conflict.

I may or may not type part 2; we will see

***trigger warning: talking about blood and bleeding disorders in detail***

Im going to speak on something personal and is not meant to show any kind of disrespect to any of the deities I have interacted with in the past.

This isn't a "how to" but more of a chronicled transitional life events from the time i was a child up to the present as an adult.

As a child, like most US Americans, i grew up in a (nondenominational) Christian household celebrating and paying respects to that ideal. It was hard for me to clearly connect with the Christ Lord and in fact as a juvenile (6/7 yr old) the greek and egyptian pantheons made more sense to me.

I dont know if it was that the greek gods intermingling and then the showing of great petty and occasionally destructive behavior with their own worshippers and each other or the certain charm that came with how egyptian gods had interacted with the judeo-christian islamic pantheon as described in the old testament. But it was those two pagan pantheons that i had more exposure to in my home and it was their names i learned first.

One thing i knew as a child, despite my fascination with the psycophants and the lords messengers the angels of jci books, i could not accept the Christ Lord and His Father as my Shepherd. I didn't feel His love, His love seemed to have left me as a severely chronically ill child that spent most of my time alone and in pain.

Perhaps my straying was influenced by the sheer amount of rejection i had received at school, my community church, and some family. In any regard, by 11 or 12 i had decided that i would switch Gods and honor a different pantheon.

Repeatedly, through out my feeble life, i had been told by doctors and by the authority around me that i was dying. If i dont take my medicine, dont eat correctly, limit my activity, and so forth, that i was going to die bloated, blue, and alone in the hospital.

As a tween, i became morbid and obsessed with that idea of death especially since i had been recitated a couple times before i understood the concept of an after life. (My poor mother.) As a result of my upbringing, i have been accused of being sullen and dark by those around me due this constant memento mori.

Despite my ever decimating health problems and the threat of their festering dominion it was still my fault for being macabre. I digress.

Christ Lord and i had ceased our estranged communications after one very serious hemorrhage that landed me in the hospital as an 8yrold despite my prayers to stop it or relieve me from the coil. And insult to injury, was assured by a well intentioned nurse that it was within His plan. I no longer believed i could be heard or if i was heard obviously it was within His plan that i suffered thusly. I was disciplined by my catholic grandmother for having this faltering faith once i recovered enough to leave the hospital.

Always on my death bed and with one deformed foot in the grave, using my morbidity and macabre mind i had beseeched my first pagan god and renounced my affiliation with that of christian naysaying. In return, I had been received by a very sympathetic Anubis.

At eleven or twelves years old constantly on the brink of death, i called to the egyptian underworld one evening as blood poured from my face into the porcelain bowl of my downstairs toilet, "please make it stop. I cant take it this anymore."

Slowly becoming a trickle, for the first time in a very long time, years maybe, my facial hemorrhaging did not result in an emergency hospital stay and for once fully clotted. Yes the blood clot was like a foot (12in or 36 cm) long when i pulled it from my sinus cavity but it was better than bleeding out. Clotting is better than bleeding particularly when your disorder prevents you from clotting properly.

It was the first time i had actively received an answer to my prayers in a moment of crisis and weakness. Recalling the name i invoked, the name that spun and created comfort was He, Anubis, who made death his duty and chose to pick my foot out of the early grave.

(I cannot attest my recovery to medical miracles. My doctors had struggled with figuring out why i had these and how treat me to no end. I have had very bad interactions with many specialists as a result. So, it was fairly defeating when i suffered and it was equally mysterious to them when I began to recover.)

Since invoking Anubis the first time in ire of suffering and under the derision of fear, was the last time i agonized with my facial stigmata to the brink of unconsciousness. I still struggle with it like all my illnesses but that was the final time i had to loom over a bowl to properly gauge how much blood i was losing.

I still honor and thank my old friend to this day but as i slowly crept from the edge of the grave, i eventually had to talk to my good god and inform him that i feel i no longer struggled with imminent death and it was time for me, a 15/16 year old teen girl, to seek out another god or goddess that would bring growth in my life. Though Anubis was a great and wonderful god to have worked with for years since i was a child, i was no longer as concerned with the nearness of my death bed and no longer required such intense treatment from a manager of death.

Invocation of his name became less and less until we had mutually agreed that it was time for me to move on.

Which name was next? i had wondered. Would i ever have such a connection with another god or goddess as i did with Anubis?

Though i knew of other names and they had lingered on my tongue since i was a girl, the answer was No. I could not find another deity for years.

My health regressed but it still posed no lethal threat. I was bed ridden but not with fear of dying.

Hope escaped me. And for a solid 5 or 6 years, i was a godless heathen.

Doesn't mean i had lost practice. I just no longer involved the name of a deity and instead worked with minor or lesser beings like fairfolk, angels, daemons, etc.

Alas! A name will come to you once you start craving for the chant.

That is what had happened to me in my adult life.

I was 23/24 before another name, one that i have been familiar with throughout my late childhood and teenhood, rung out over the others. However, I did not realize that they were volunteering to be my next invocation and my next ethereal guide.

Twas an ancient deity of many pantheons of many names that was demonized during a time of philosophical growth with minimal success.

Working with them has been, i would say, mostly rewarding. Since i am still working with this very ancient presence and still learning about their nature, i am still building my relationship with them even though i have known many of their aspects from the interaction within the last few years.

So, i show reluctance in talking about this deity and their nature on the prospect that they are a complicated being that is not as straightforward as my relationship with Anubis had been. Nor does my knowledge of them suffice for me to say that i can teach you about them.

But hot damn, do they know how to push progress in such a cataclysmic way and with superior power moves. Not a gentle hand but certainly a firm one.

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bisexual-disasters · 7 years ago

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christmas oneshot

hey guys!! i was wondering if i could have your opinion on this christmas oneshot? im not sure if it’s good enough to post. i also need help for a saying to put on Karen’s sweater (it’ll make sense when you read the story) if you have any suggestions!

-fuckingparty

Grace flattened out her dress as she looked in the mirror, turning slightly to see how the back looked. Her red curls stood out against the dark green of the dress, which was shorter and tighter than she would typically wear. Being forty… one- she tried to wear more “age-appropriate” clothes, but she knew that the person she was trying to impress tonight would prefer the garment that flattered her curves much better. Or at least Grace thought. What she thinks looks good is typically the opposite of what she finds fashionable, but Grace hoped she got it right this time.

“Grace, what are you doing?” A voice says, prompting the redhead to turn from the mirror to meet the eyes of Will. He wore a red, knitted turtle neck sweater that made him look even more like a dork than usual. “We’re just having a small get-together, you look like a- a-“

“A whore? It’s 2018, don’t slut shame me. And what? A girl can’t dress up for her friends?” Grace responds, walking past him to the kitchen.

“Your friends are two gay men and a woman who’s going to be too high to remember what happens tonight.” Will remarks, following Grace.

“Sorry that I put effort into my outfits when people come over.” She replies, annoyed, grabbing the large bottle of Cabernet from the wine cooler.

“Last time Jack came over to watch Riverdale with you, you wore a stained sweatshirt and no pants.” He states, grabbing wine glasses from the cupboard.

“That was different, I was on my period.” She responds defensively. “Why do you even care?”

Will grins. “Because Jack is going to be devastated that you aren’t wearing the Christmas sweater he bought you.”

Grace narrows her eyes at him, only now noticing that his turtle neck has “Ho-Ho-Homo” in large white letters knitted into it “I am not wearing a sweater that says ‘Happy Hoe-nukah’.”

Will pours himself a glass of wine. “When did you become such a stick in the mud?”

Before she can respond, Jack enters the apartment with a loud “Happy Holigays!” He smiles brightly at the two of them, proudly sporting a “Fruitcake” knitted sweater. His expression quickly turns to a frown when he notices Grace. “What happened to your Chri- Hanukah sweater?” He pouts, placing his hands on his hips. “You look like one of Santa’s prostitutes.”

Grace rolls her eyes. “I thought I would dress up a little.” She leans against the counter, trying to pose.

“It’s a Christmas miracle.” He deadpans. “The one time you don’t have to look good you actually put effort in your outfit.” He flops onto the couch, crossing his legs. “Even if that effort is in vain.” He mutters.

Grace sighs in frustration. “Do you think Karen will be wearing her Christmas sweater? That woman hasn’t touched anything that wasn’t designer since I’ve met her.”

Jack rolls his eyes. “She’s gonna! She promised she would. And even if she didn’t, what’s your excuse? Is my Christmas sweater less tacky than anything you’ve worn in the last, I don’t know, twenty years?”

Will sits down on the couch next to Jack, stifling a laugh. “Grace, are you trying to impress Karen?” He asks through a smirk.

“No!” Grace’s denies, her face growing red from the comment. “I’ll put on the stupid sweater, you assholes.” She yells, walking towards her room to change. She can hear Jack say something about her being a lesbo but ignores it. The redhead struggles to unzip the short dress, turning her back to the mirror and trying to sneak a glance at where to reach. After a few minutes of struggle and a strained back, she unzips the dress and lets it fall to her feet, kicking it to the side. She rummages through her closet for some pants to wear, finding a pair of black jeans that were at least a little flattering. She then throws the ridiculous sweater over her head.

“Honey? Are you in there?” The familiar high-pitched voice makes Grace turn her head towards her closed door.

“One second!” She calls out, flattening the sweater, attempting to make herself look as attractive as she can in the stupid outfit. Thinking she looks presentable, she walks to the door and opens, meeting the judgemental eyes of Karen, though panning down the redhead sees that she kept her promise. The smaller woman wore a knitted sweater just like hers with the words “placeholder” on it. “Nice sweater.” Was all Grace could think to say.

Karen grabs at the fabric of Grace’s own sweater. “I’d say the same for you but I’m not Jewish.”

Grace can’t help but crack a smile, noticing that Karen does the same. The two had been playfully flirting ever since they met, but it’s been getting far more serious as of late. Grace knows that she shouldn’t give into these desires, considering that Karen is a married woman, but the brunette really doesn’t help by constantly seeing just how far she can go.

“Jack said you’ve been in here for twenty minutes, are you done rubbing one out?” Karen says with a smirk.

Grace blushes and looks away. “No! I was just changing. Believe it or not this wasn’t my first choice for an outfit.”

The two walk out of Grace’s room, the redhead can feel Karen’s hand brush against hers and her smile grows.

“Woah you two! Stop right there!” Jack exclaims dramatically.

“What?” Karen asks, slightly annoyed. “If I don’t have a drink in my hand in the next two seconds I’m going to be charged with a hate crime.”

Jack jumps over the back of the couch, tripping over himself. “Look up.” He says with a knowing grin on his face.

From the ceiling hung a small bundle of fake mistletoe, secured awkwardly with Scotch tape. Grace couldn’t help but laugh. “Jack, did you seriously put that up when I was changing?”

Jack looks away innocently, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Who me?”

“Very funny, but we’re not gonna-“Grace is cut off as she feels her sweater being pulled towards her left, her lips crashing into Karen’s. Her eyes widen, but quickly close as she lets herself forget her surroundings and melt into the kiss, tasting the alcohol on Karen’s soft lips. She doesn’t know how long it lasts, and she doesn’t really care, either. She knows that this may be one of her only chances to give into her desires with Karen, and she will most certainly take it, no matter the teasing that she will inevitably get from the boys. The two disconnect, both trying to catch their breath, and she realizes that it must have been quite long for her to be so breathless. She looks down at Karen who gives her a quick wink before turning and walking down towards the kitchen.

“Sorry honey, but the faster we got that over with the faster I’d have a drink in my hand.” She pours herself a glass of Cabernet.

Grace, snapping out of her shock, looks over at the boys, who look equally as surprised as she is.

“Well, you’re welcome, Grace.” Jack says, satisfied.

“What? Why?” Grace asks, her face still flushed.

“My tacky Christmas sweater impressed Karen enough to get you the most action you’ve had in months.” He says, sitting back down on the couch. “You know that wouldn’t have happened if you decided to wear that dress.”

“What dress, honey?” Karen asks, joining the two boys in the living area.

“Green, short, adds thirty years.” Jack responds.

“Hm.” Karen says, sipping her wine. “Yeah, sorry Gracie but no way you would have gotten that with that mess on.”

The night goes on, the four drinking and chatting, enjoying each other’s company. Eventually they decided to watch a Halmark Christmas film and make fun of it, though Will fell asleep in the process, being a lightweight. Jack followed thereafter, leaning against the other man as he snored loudly. Grace and Karen were so enthralled in their own conversation that the hardly noticed the others had fallen asleep, only noticing when Jack snored particularly loud.

“Pussies.” Karen states, downing the last of her drink. “You’d never catch me passed out after a night of drinking.”

Grace raises an eyebrow. “I can think of multiple occasions.”

“I guess I should go, then.” Karen says, lifting from the couch, ignoring Grace’s comment.

Grace instantly feels the absence of warmth when the other woman leaves her side, only realizing now that they were sitting so close. “Why not stay the night?” Grace said before she understood the implication.

Karen pursed her lips. “Really, Grace? You’re trying to get in my pants on Christmas Eve? I know you Jews don’t celebrate it, but this is the lord’s day!”

Grace rolls her eyes. “Come on, Kare. It’s 2am.”

Karen noticeably softens, walking back over to Grace, grazing her fingers on her hips. “I’m kidding, Honey. I’ll stay.” She leans in slowly, closing her eyes, until their lips touch once again. The kiss was so different than the one before, soft and passionate, no rush. It felt like they could stay like this forever and Grace would be a happy woman. It felt too genuine to be a product of Karen’s pill-popping or drunkenness, it held too much intent, like this was the one thing the brunette is sure is right. This had to be right. Nothing could feel this good and be wrong.

They break away from the kiss just as slow as it began. “Merry Christmas, Gracie.”

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onisionhurtspeople · 8 years ago

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i’m 100% for lainey labeling their gender in whatever way feels right for them, dressing however feels right, and using whatever pronouns feel right. i’m not gonna doubt or question their identity or anyone else’s. what rubs me the wrong way is how they emulate and almost fetishize the “teen” aesthetic. when they’ve said they look like a 12 year old boy and implied that it was attractive/hot/a good thing, i was kinda creeped out. idk how to explain it but i think it sends a really bad message.

Ah, yeah, that’s another thing I’ve been considering writing about for a while: how much Lainey seems to fetishize adolescence. Get ready for another one of my pointless tl;drs that nobody ever reads or cares about, y’all!

If Lainey was removed from the context surrounding the reasons why we all spend so much time scrutinizing her behavior in the first place, I doubt most people would have a problem with the fact that she seems almost pathologically obsessed with portraying herself as a 15-year-old girl in both style and personality, rather than as the 23-year-old wife and mother of two that she is.

But the issue, of course, is that Lainey’s preferences do not exist in a vacuum; they mean something, and that’s what we’re here to analyze. She is married to a man who fetishizes teenage girls himself, because they’re easier to control and manipulate. She indulges in, and relates to, a culture that heavily emphasizes youth and immaturity (referring to boyfriends as “daddy”, having a DDlg (Daddy Dom/little girl) fetish, being “taken care of” by men (and treated like a little princess in bed), constantly alluding to not knowing what they’re doing in life, assuming a guileless pose in selfies that reflect a certain youthful confusion and spontaneity, constantly referencing their childlike habits (”touch my butt and buy me pizza”, “I have no idea what I’m doing”, “im a crybaby” flavors of meme), dressing like a 12-year-old in overalls, children’s Pokemon panties, and pastel-colored hair and clothing with simplistic, childlike patterns, etc - not that I think there’s anything inherently wrong with any of these things, but all of these pieces of the puzzle fit together to paint the picture of a person who is unhealthily obsessed with living out their life as a teenager. You guys know the ~aesthetic~ that I’m trying to drive at here).

She indulges in cultural trends targeted towards children and young teens. Her entire personality revolves around sensitivity, helplessness, passivity; she exudes anxiety, uncertainty, and confusion; and openly discusses being so sensitive that she becomes completely overwhelmed by even the most simple of tasks that adults are expected to be able to do. And again, I’m not saying that these are inherently negative traits (although obviously when these qualities run your life, it can become problematic); but Lainey seems almost proud of these traits. She’s more than just open about it. She brags about them. She romanticizes them. She constructs elaborate internal fantasies around them. Her entire identity revolves around being a ~smol sensitive anxious space prince daddy~.

On top of all these things, almost everybody that she hangs out with or considers to be her friend (from Sarah, who lives with her, all the way down to the girls who she interacts with on Discord) is a teenager. She does not speak to women her own age. It’s bizarre. I used to have a friend who was quite a bit younger than me, by three and a half years - the first time we met in real life was on her 16th birthday, and I was 19, almost 20; and despite the fact that we were best friends and that I had so many other friends my own age, there was a very obvious and noticeable difference in our maturity levels. I’m not saying that uneven friendships like this can’t work or are inherently inappropriate, but again, within the context of Lainey’s life, it’s an enormous red flag that she seems to be unable to relate with women her own age, and can only form friendships with teenage girls between the ages of 15 and 21. Even outside of the context of her marriage (because let’s not forget that she’s married to a man who openly admits to having a sexual preference for young women, because they’re at “peak fertility” according to him), the fact that she relates the most with teenage girls is a huge indication that Lainey herself is either a) extremely mature, b) purposely seeks to enter uneven friendships with younger girls because it balances the friendship in her favor, giving her more power and control (which wouldn’t surprise me if true, given that she’s married to Onision - she needs to be able to exercise control in SOME way), c) is emotionally stunted and frozen at the age of ~18 due to Onision’s influence on her psychological development, or d) a sexual predator who herself prefers teenage girls. I’m sure everybody has their own theory on why this is, but personally I think it’s probably a mixture of all four, with option c being the most prominent motivation.

I think Lainey projects herself onto teenage girls because she feels very much unprepared for this world, threatened by it, and does not trust her own ability to navigate adulthood successfully. In this regard, I think Greg managed to find almost a perfect partner for himself - a girl who is trapped in her adolescence in perpetuity (largely by choice, but partly through direction by Onision), who purposely cuts herself off from growing and learning and emerging as a young adult because it’s less dangerous and challenging for her to remain within her psychological safe zone, being coddled like a baby and completely controlled and taken care of by Greg, who looks after all of the hard things in her life that she struggles with (doing taxes, making money, going outside to get groceries, paying bills, interacting with strangers, making appointments, earning a living wage) - all of the practical, adult things that Lainey is terrified of doing, because it’s so overwhelming to her. Greg, of course, loves this. Lainey is his ideal partner: a woman who needs to be with a man like him, who defines her entire identity for her. A man who directs her, tells her what to do, is domineering and aggressive, and who makes all of her decisions for her. Tells her what to do, who to be, what to feel, how to act. A man who has complete control over every aspect of her life. A narcissist (him) and an inverted narcissist, or codependent (her).

And so this is why Lainey is so obsessed with portraying herself as a teenager. Teenagers hit that sweet spot in between childhood and adulthood that Lainey feels trapped by in perpetuity. On the one hand, she is not a child - she is a sexual being; she has kinks, and preferences, and desires to express herself and her sexual identity. On the other hand, though, neither is she an adult - she is immature, self-absorbed, has an unstable sense of self, doesn’t know who she is, hypersensitive, anxious, gets overwhelmed easily, indulges often in her learned helplessness, and makes no attempt to change any of this - she revels in her dysfunction; she romanticizes it. And there is no age that typifies this combination of traits better than a teenage girl does. She doesn’t just relate to teenagers; she wants to be a teenager, forever–and in some ways, she really is, because the interference of Greg on Lainey’s emotional, psychological, social, and sexual growth has had a catastrophic impact on her development. She is essentially a 16-year-old girl trapped within the body of a 23-year-old mother of two. And that’s exactly what she wants.

I think what’s ultimately going to be what destroys Greg and Lainey’s marriage is that eventually, Lainey is going to be too old for Greg, and he’s going to feel compelled to pick up another 17-, 18-, and 19-year-old girl again from his existing pool of die-hard fans. Already it’s quite apparent that Greg is bored of Lainey (as evidenced by the fact that he is still actively trying to find women to cheat on her with, even after what happened with Billie); but once the cost of maintaining her becomes more expensive than the cost of replacing her with a new, hot, young, alternative, impressionable teenage girl, he will do what he tried to do once before with Billie, and eject Lainey in favor of a new wife to manipulate. And the whole process will start all over again, until the day that either Greg dies, or he becomes incapable of drawing in new women. And at that point, sadly, the fact that Lainey is still a teenager - but only on the inside - will end up becoming the most painful struggle of her life, when she is forced to take on all of the adult responsibilities that Greg currently carries for her, and realizes that she is dangerously under-qualified to live her life as an adult woman instead of a pampered, permanent 16-year-old girl.

(Sadly - or maybe luckily - I think that Lainey is the type of woman who needs to be in a relationship with someone like Greg (an inverted narcissist; in other words, a codependent), so I guess here’s to hoping that when this inevitably happens, she will quickly find herself a new narcissist to date and define her entire identity for her, I suppose?)

Press F to pay respects for this ridiculously, unnecessarily long fucking essay that I just wrote that NOBODY is going to read. Praise the Noodle Lord. Amen.

#onision #laineybot #anti onision #anti-onision #narcissism #npd #still gonna use the npd tag #deal with it

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askguyslikeus · 8 years ago

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oh shit yall send lots of questions hoo nelly answering almost all of them under the cut ,,, im gunan try and answer more technical ones first then fun ones and ones about the mod later so u dont gotta scroll all the way to the bottom for the good deets

Hi! I'm still kinda new to the blog and I was wondering what are the 'do and do-not' kind question I should do? Because im sure theres always that one ask thats just Innapropiated, like that one of Michael 'taking advantage og high Jeremy' that was just not cool. i got this ask a lot so ill be clear with yall. im just not a big angst fan? so sending michael asks about his anxiety nonstop and about how he had a panic attack in the bathroom over and over again wasnt that fun. usually if it pertains the musical though you should be find sending an ask about it? but sometimes i get asks that are like “jeremy ur nothing and how does it feel knowing u fucked everything up” like homie how i think its feels? how u think hes gunna react to that? i made this blog to negate a lot of negativity in my own life so i can promise u im going to be answering asks mostly positive always forever. that being said tho i sometimes get asks pertaining to a few things that ive dealt with in the past and these topics make me very very uncomfortable. dont send asks about these topics please. this is the no no list

-self harm, cancer, suicide, rape, parent death, car accidents, sudden death.

What was your inspiration for this blog? hoo boy well,,, ultimately i thought of them rooming together and got emotional and made a huge list of headcanons and was like ,,, why not run an askblog for a bit ill just abandon it after three asks lets have some fun. but somehow im still here and i got sucked in by the complexity of michael and jeremy. i know that sounds kinda silly but just, as someone who is dealing with a lot of similar things, like dependency issues and abandonment issues and depression and anxiety, having these fun functioning character to explore was such a gift for me. i believe honestly thats why im still here and doing this. being able to try and portray a healthy relationship and a healthy way of coping and growing has helped me a lot this past month and given me an outlet i didnt have before. TBH THO the main reason i made this blog if imma be real with u guys id because i didnt like the treatment of a lot of these issues in the fandom. it made me very upset to see depression used as an plot device and michaels dependency issues treated as romantic so i wanted to make a blog that had little to no angst. ANYWAYS somehow im still here ,,, gvrkjvrnkjfd sorry i rambled

honestly I just wanna say first that I love his blog and your art and you're so cool and kind!! a question would be (I'm not sure if you've answered this before or not) but is there like an on going story here, or is it mostly just answering questions with the characters set in this universe? (if that makes sense I'm sorry!) thank you, you're super awesome! ❤️ djrnjg first off thank u so much aaaa,, ive kind of answered this before but its ok its been a while since then! but um i do kinda have a story but how howdy i sure am dragging my feet. the story isn a hUGE OVERARCHING EPIC OF WOE AND THIS PERSON IS UPSET AND THIS PERSON IS MAD AT THIS PERSON its just michael and jeremy getting together. i have a plan and ive talked to a few people on how i want it to happen but ive gained like ,,,, 6,000 followers since then and im kinda nervous BUT ILL DO MY BEST but also please understand that i do this for fun for myself and if i dont get to it im so so so sorry woops

i know this has been said before but i'm really really happy w how you're handling so many aspects of their characters. i.e. michael being trans, michael and jeremy's anxiety, michael's dependency issues, and other stuff i'm too tired to think of. you made the characters have even more depth than they did in the play and i'm rly grateful for the way you're dealing w my favorite boys. (also your richjake is suuuper adorable) ahhhhhh thank u so much? i talked a bit about this on my main but im really glad people are happy with my decision on this blog because im suPER SUPER NERvous anytime i post an ask dealing with these things. (ask hachi or nate i always message them like freaking out and send them my scripts and asks and wait for them to tell me its ok before i post it omg) also like i talked about before i love,,, having these fun stoner gamer boys to explore these issues with. im honestly shocked by how many people also deal with dependency issues because when i first listened to the musical i was so overwhlemed by the song michael int he bathroom because i had never heard someone basically write “dependency issue: the song” and it felt so so so good to realize i wasnt alone in this pit of despair i fall into so easily aha. but im!! glad everyone is ok with this wild ride im on right now (also thank u so much i struggle writing rich and jake but i get so emotional cause they would TOTES call each other babe)

how come you just use sketch form for most of your drawing (sketches and uses sketch for the final result)? im ,,, not really sure what this is asking but i thnk its along the lines of why do i only sketch my answers?? and i do that because dude do u see how often i post and how lONG some of them are. i made this blog for fun and i love doing comics but i hate lineart and coloring and if i tried to churn out finished pics for every post id defs have given up a few asks in,, shrugs

I want to say I love your little comics they're so funny! How long does it take you to make a comic? Are any of them based on your experiences? Ok have a nice day! thank you! i love my little comics too! it usually takes me anywhere from an hour to five hours if im dragging my ass or talking on discord while im drawing. it can be kinda exhausting but since i took my break ive also been like, starting long comics one day and finishing them another day which, before i would do it all in one sitting then post it hahha. AS FOR EXPERIENCE the first half of the lifeguard comic was based on real life! we were stuck stoned up there for like an hour or two? but we didnt have anyone to help us but we got down eventually!! the wendys comic is also something i did because man!! i need to compliment food workers if they do a good job!! ummmmm just like jenna i also have a friend that said HAHA BYE and moved to cali and she is also lIVING IT UP and doing really well for herself and shes very independent and shes very inspiring to me! hmm i think thats it besides i used to have movie nights with my dad all the time too except we would watch my fave animated movies and sometimes lord of the rings cause my dad loved that

What kinds of things can we NOT ask ? What kinds of things do you WANT us to ask ? i covered the what not to ask in the first question so!!! um if my askbox is open and u want to respond to previous asks ive answered for the boys that would be so so so rad. sometimes im done with a certain ask and i have nothing to add but sometimes ive got more to say but am looking for an opportunity! that being said it made me really happy that i got a lot of asks about pj? shes not going to the main focus of any more asks but!!! i was nervous to introduce her and im glad u guys like her shes fun to write. but overall just general asks i can make a big ol fun story out of so!! dont worry too much about what to ask, if its something ud ask a real person and not like “lol what if ur dad died” ur gunna be fine probably

Hi! Not a question but your blog is so sweet and refreshing! I actually really appreciate that you refuse angst, that stuff tends to rub me the wrong way in fandoms... Keep taking good care of these boys ! gggg thank u!!! it means a lot to me that a lot of people are backing me up on this! i mean if u are an angst fan there are a lot of askblogs that explore that!! so its not in short supply bmc askblog fandoms got something for everyone

Which drawing program do you use?? i use paint tool sai and my tablet is a cintiq !!

this isn't really related to the faq but that bakunawa boy reference was great I LOVE THAT FIC MAN!!! the line was originally a little diff in that ask but i changed it cause ,,,, i could,,,,

an art style question. how do you keep the design of characters consistent from frame to frame? my characters they look a lil different every time I draw em (or a lot different) and it tends to disrupt the flow of my comics/animations ohh boy hoo wee props for doing animations im too scared to give that a whirl but!! it helps that i draw all the panels for an ask on one canvas! so if my next panel is going to be the same character in the same spot just in a diff pose i keep the lower layer on just at low opacity so i can use it as a ref! that helps me a lot!

Sorry if I'm nosy or rude, but are you reflecting Micheal Anxiety, Panic attacks and depence? iii think this is asking if i reflect my own issues onto them boys? and if so then yes i do. i dont place any of my own personality or anything on the boys but i do use them as a way to help me learn how to cope with my own shit and i try to deal with their issues in the healthiest way possible while also keeping in mind they are flawed individuals aaa

what are your pronouns??? and maybe your main blog?? im a cis girl so she/her is good! and my main is squigglegigs! also that being said IF YOU SEE THE USERNAME SQUIGGLEGIGS ANYWHERE JUST?? ASSUME ITS ME?? i have a twitter and an instagram and my tumblr account

((Hello mod will Michael and Jeremy eventually someday get together. I love them.)) if all goes according to plan yes! if i get overwhelmed and stop having fun on this blog then no! sorry thems the breaks but! i do want them to get together so HOPEFULLY

going off on that confrience on pornogrefy for birds, Im geussing jeremy has played Hatoful Boyfriend. am I wrong? well it wasnt intended as that ref and i dont know anything about hatoful boyfriend but i can see jerm finding it and playing it so, sure homie! the pornography for birds thing is a my brother my brother and me reference! i love that show and them boys so give it a scope!

I'm crying bcuz Michael said he's in love with Jeremy and it's beautiful yeah that boy is DEEP IN love with his bro bro

Any advice for running an ask blog?? (Ps i love this blog keep it up) personally whats worked for me so far is doing just sketches for art. honestly ive been able to work so much more and post so much more often while also trying to work on my expressions and poses! also taking my own experiences and shaping them to fit the characters has been SO MUCH FUN. th most important thing tho is,,, dont overwork urself dude. if ur having a fun time it shows. if ur just forcing urself to churn out material and its not fun? like shit we doing this for free dont push urself? idk idk overall being looser with my art and writing the dialogue before hand has been the most helpful for me for this askblog! ive run a bunch before including @ask-maz and ive run that sporadically for ,, three or four years? its so funny cause u can see my art style juMP AROUND SO MUCH but i love that blog and i only update it like every other month or so but?? i still like doing it and no on likes those posts but it makes me smile so ANYWAYS

~ok from here on its mostly just me replying to nice messages or people asking me personal questions that dont pertain to askguyslikeus so!!~

I just wanted to say I really really love your blog and just your art in general!! Keep up the good work and hope you're having fun! thank u!!! i am having fun and im glad u enjoy it!!

What other musicals do you like? :0 i really like heathers A LOT. i also like doctor horrible i know thats not technically a musical but i just relistened to it and im emotional. i like dear evan hansen but it makes me really sad so i can only take it in moderation! ummm rent? chicago?? music man? now im just naming musicals i was in rip. being in a musical fandom is a new thing to me? i was really into heathers last year but didnt really interract with the fandom at SO THIS IS SUPER NEW?? ive never been into a musical as much as im into bmc and heathers tho

tell us a little bit about urself!! u seem v cool i am squigs or fork!! im 24 and work fulltime as a barista at starbucks! i get high on the beach with my friend gwen a lot and drink wayy to many slushies, my tv shows are brooklyn nine nine and bobs burgers right now! i table at conventions sometimes and sell my art as merch and whatnot and i cosplay as a hobby as well. im pretty boring but i draw a lot and always carry my big sketchbook with me and im pretty sure its given me back issues BUT OH WELL HAHA also i am very not cool THE TRUTH COMES OUT

Who do you most relate to from bmc and why? like ,,, a mix of michael and christine with a sprinkle of jeremy i guess ahaha i relate to michaels dependency issues and overarching positive attitude and love of music, i relate to christines bright disposition and the need to not stick to one set thing? like she loves theater cause she can be sO MANY PEOPLE and like same homie thats why i cosplay. and jeremys need to be likes while also ability to put himself out there is very relatable. i also identify strongly with his dad issues idk idk whats good

Also -- just thank you for how you handled all the panic attack and anxiety attack asks. I used to deal with anxiety attacks multiple times a day and it just was really nice that it was positive and not them having one. Thank you, sincerely. ahhhhhh ur so welcome i,,, have anxiety and it sucks and i deal with panic attacks like everyday at work so i dont really wanna come home and draw someone having one i guess? im glad its helping other people too tho!

Dude- I love your art? Actually so much? It's... I love it. The whole sketch-ish way your art style is, and the way you color, and the expressions! I'm so glad I found your work - you've given me so much inspiration. Keep doin what you're doin and I hope you have a good day! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ANytime any one compliments my expressions i die cause i legit made this blog to help with that as well ,,, like dam

im lvoe ur art style b o i :0 !!!!!!

Mod, I love you so much I love you you have my soul and my love and my eternal gratitude thank you and I love you (This is the guy who was excited about PJ on your ig live stream a while ago and I love you) !!!!!!!!! im so happy u like my content omg and that u like pj im so glad!! shes a good bean

I just wanna say... I'm crying over that post about Michael and his anxiety? cuz I know how it can feel that you're only your flaws and weaknesses, but Michael just tells that to screw off in the most wonderful way and I'm?? thank you so much for that post, I bookmarked it for future times when I can't look past my depression... honestly, that post made my day (along with every other post on this blog), thank you for being such a lovely part of this fandom ,,,, im,,,, im scared of a lot of this fandom tbh but if i can be something good that come out of it and my love of these boys and desire to show them functioning together in a healthy way can help other people its so much more than i ever thought id ever be able to do. i am blown away everyday by the support ive been given on this blog and i might be crying right now because i never thought id be able to touch other people like this and i just. im really glad yall are here with me for all this.

(To the mod: You are a beautiful person that I highly respect. I love this blog and what you set out to do. thanks for giving something that makes me smile and gives me something to look forward to everyday, keep up the good work! ❤ ) hey im still crying from the previous ask aaaaa im honestly so emotional

what are ur true feelings for wendy's??? i fucking love wendys man thats some top tier fast food right there

what fast food restaurant do you think has the best nuggets WENDYS HANDS DOWN

do you have a favorite movie? paranorman makes me very nostalgic and ive seen it like eighty times and used to watch it with my dad a lot and i love it

I would just like you to know that your Wendy's comic prompted me to pull the same thing with a bakery in the town I'm visiting and the baker got so excited and happy, so thank you for making that comic because I made that woman's day. GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE COMPLIMENT ME WHEN IM WORKING DUDE LIKE IM SO GLAD IT MADE U DO THIS!!! IM SMILING REALLY BIG!!

chocolate milk or strawberry milk? or plain? woops i hate milk im so sorry

do u love michael mell with all of ur heart, mod? i really truly do man what a fucking good ass character

hi squigs i love you! i love your content too and i hope u have a good day pal :> WHAT A SWEET BEAN!!! THANK YOU?? OMG

I'm just saying that recent ask you did with Michael really hit me hard because I really related to it and I started crying because it made me realize that I've been pining my self worth on everything my anxiety causes and I'm so much more than that. Thank you, so much for that I really needed it because I'm in a really bad place right now. <3 -for the mod i legit cry everytime i get asks or dms like this cause once again the idea that im helping other people is so ovwehelming i love you??? i let myself just be”depressed” for ahwile and by that i mean i just,, let my sadness consume me and i was scared of getting better cause the sadness was all i knew for so long and just. its so easy to think u are ur illness but you are so much more. soooo much more man.

I relate A Lot to Michael so the way you portray him in the blog is really good, and I think it's really awesome you refuse to like?? do terrible stuff and answer bad questions just bc people wanna see that. You run this blog really well 👌 AHHHH THis is the biggest compliment thank u so much ,,, i get real anxious bout this blog soemtiems but then yall send me sweet things like this and its worth it man

Hey mod, just know you're a really cool person. Thanks for running this blog in the first place. Keep doing the great work. thank you!!!! for ur support!!!!

not really a question!! i just wanted to say your posts on this blog always brighten my day and you're really an incredible artist and person, keep rockin on my dude!! *clutching my heart* the fuck this is so sweet

1 .I just wanted to say your blog is really awesome! It's very lovely. I also like how you made michael trans and like handled it? (just with how all the characters treat him and stuff its v nice). Your art is super duper! Thanks for running this awesome blog! 2. Hey! This isn't a question but I wanted to say that I appreciate michael being trans!! As a trans boy it's just rly awesome to see something like that casually thrown into an ask blog without making it a huge weird deal :D immm,,, i kinda really love the idea of michael being trans cause a lot of my trans male friends are actually pretty confident in their skin and michael is a very confident character? and u rarely see that with trans representation and its so refreshing to see it portrayed well. im trying to do that here but again if! i do anything wrong let me know!

how did you first get into art? (also i really love your blog, it's amazing!) ive been drawing as long as i remember! ive got mad adhd and wasnt diagnosed until late in ym life so i would just draw nonstop in my classes ahaha i used to read the sunday comics a lot and they really inspired me to try and make comics of my own too!! (and omg thank u)

someone also asked me if i went to church or was religious but tumblr ate the ask but i used to go to church a lot as a kid but im currently not religious at all aaa

ok holy shit that was a lot but thanks again to everyone i legit cry a lot about how supportive u all are thank u so much aaaa

#modpost #holy fuck that was so much

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katherinewhistler · 8 years ago

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Can you recommend some sanvers fics please?

In Progress

the wedding date by jayenator565, sincerely_v: Maggie tells her family that she has a date to her sister’s wedding. That’s not exactly true.

red fish, blue fish by bltbackwards: Alex Danvers is the head marine biologist and veterinarian at the National City Aquarium, where Maggie Sawyer is the new night guard. One chance encounter leads to two, which leads to meetings not at all by chance.

rival captain by agtdamnvxrs: Alex is the captain of the hockey team. Maggie is the captain of the soccer team. At National City High School their two teams have been rival twenty years.

all of the love i can’t forget by justicarwrites: A hostile takeover of the DEO forces J'onn into an impossible decision, and Maggie’s life is spared at the expense of her memory of those she loves. Lost, Maggie works to piece together why she no longer recognizes her life while the gang, fractured and disheartened, tries to figure out a way to fix things without putting her in even more danger or The Mindwipe AU

why didn’t you let me go by V0313

give me shelter (or show me heart) by chancellorclarke: The first time Maggie sees Alex, Maggie is 28 and Alex is 30.AU: Maggie is a time traveller.

facts unknown by peaceful_polis: Supergirl gives Maggie Sawyer a piece of her mind but also learns some things in return.

Series

the lady and the tramp by m_p_kal: Maggie Sawyer didn’t have the best life even before she was living with her aunt, but thankfully all the misery and bad treatment made her a better person in life. Now, after a scholarship handed to her she has to relocate her life to National City and in the hands of the sharks, aka private school for rich people or Highschool AU

forever (part 1) by lexie_raven: Alex finds herself thrust into a world that she never knew existed. At the same time, National City’s new mayor is pushing an anti-alien agenda that spells trouble for her sister.

Complete

until we meet again by drugedbyalex: Alex Danvers is a successful landscape photographer, who needs to fly back to National City for her sisters’ wedding. Maggie Sawyer is a struggling single mother of a 4 year old boy (named Jesse), who is traveling to National City for a job interview. What happens when they book the same flight, and their plane has been delayed 7 hours?

im lost in you by r_grimes: powerful business woman alex danvers meets her personal assistant maggie sawyer.

to built a home by seaunicorn: Maggie’s apartment is on fire, so she shows up on Alex’s doorstep… and Alex could never say no to Maggie.

undercover by MargravineB: All Alex wanted was a nice, simple infiltration mission - go in, grab the goods and get out before anyone was the wiser. She didn’t expect Maggie Sawyer butting in again. Especially not while posing as Alex’s very amorous wife.

Protecting Her by Drugedbyalex: An AU where Alex Danvers is an agent recruited to protect Maggie Sawyer by her father, because Maggie has a chip implanted in her brain that allows her to directly connect to the information grid. They don’t hit it off so easy at first, but what happens when Alex continuously saves her life?

One Shot/Two Shot

sunkissed by ChiaWrites: Maggie loves summer. Alex gives her a reason to love it even more.Or the one where Maggie can’t stop staring at Alex’s freckles.

rainy days by eoki: Everyone loves rainy days, except for Maggie Sawyer.

but the fruit is sweet by thrace: Sometimes doing the right thing sucksorMaggie can’t figure out why Supergirl is suddenly giving her the cold shoulder.

i would move mountains to make you smile by DisplacedWarrior: Alex was just looking for a way to handle her giant crush without talking about it, she had no idea creating an anonymous Instagram account for her cheesy sapphic poetry would cause this much of a stir.It has half the school starry-eyed but what about the one girl it was intended for?

roadtrip by drugedbyalex: After Maggie’s bad break up Alex decides to drag Maggie into a road trip adventure, that’ll hopefully make Maggie forget about her Ex-girlfiend. What will happen when things go from being platonic to something maybe a bit more than friends?

just breathing hurts by likebrightness: The first time they fuck, Maggie still has a girlfriend.

and you bet I felt it by belikebumblebee: There are a lot of things to be learned about Alex Danvers. Maggie collects them like sea shells. Half a year goes by, and she falls, and falls, and falls.

i didn’t know i was lonely til i saw your face by LHKnox: Jock Maggie needs help passing calculus, or else she’ll get cut from the baseball team and lose her scholarship. She makes a deal with Nerd Alert Alex: if Alex helps Maggie with her math, Maggie will help her get popular enough to score a date with Maxwell Lord.The problem is, there’s a chance she might fall in love with her along the way.

how a kiss should taste by PoeticallyIrritating: In which they’re each waiting for the other to make a move, and Alex finally does.

we don’t have to be modern by glaeson: Alex gets her soulmark at sixteen and no one is more freaked out than she is. Not even Eliza.Because—holy shit, it says Maggie, and as far as she’s aware that’s a girl’s name and like, it’s not unheard of but she’s just never thought of herself that way, okay?

just so you know by drugedbyalex: Maggie has finally come to terms with her feelings for Alex, and she decides to confess them over a camping trip, only for it to be invaded by Alex’s jealous boyfriend Maxwell Lord.

the girl next door by drugedbyalex: Alex Danvers was minding her own business, working on her laptop when it suddenly crashed after she spilt her popcorn all over it. As she tries to clean it off, she brushes against many buttons which happen to open up the camera of the hallway of her apartment to a very interesting view of the girl next door, who happens to be her co-worker, Maggie Sawyer.

we meet and we fall by aos_skimmons: Alex doesn’t like breaking the rules. She likes studying, reading and focusing on the medical career she wants for herself. But when Maggie, National City High’s resident badass, comes into her life that all changes.

Show Me How A Kiss Should Taste by LingeringLilies: Alex and Maggie’s first time.

the girls we wanna kiss by queercapwriting: A compilation of Sanvers minifics from my tumblr, ranging from super smutty smut to extremely fluffy fluff.

#Anonymous #sanvers #sanvers fanfic #fanfic #fic rec

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