#In real life Id be calling the cops

[hijinxinprogress]

I need Billy thinking he’s so great at hiding things (and he is) no one knows he’s like fucking eight but they are pretty sure he hates like half the league

Like I need Billy getting along with everyone but he’s kinda stiff around flash and Batman but it’s get worse after most of them have revealed their secret ids and the jls so confused

Billy 100% thought Batman had all these fucking gadgets bc he was like some high up government official and then he found out no Batman’s just some rich guy and he’s like god no why is that worse

Batman just doesn’t care (he does 💀 he’s so fucking offended esp bc Marvel used to call him Mr. Batman sir but also bc he thought it’d be easier to get marvels secret id and weaknesses) as long as it doesn’t affect missions but Flash is kinda concerned bc ‘I’m pretty nice to him…does he think I don’t like him?? Did I offend him?? Do speedsters like set off the magic balance or whatever??’ 

They decide to pair up flash, Batman, and Captain Marvel to make sure their issues won’t affect team cohesion so after they’re done rescuing these kids that got involved in some supervillains masterplan Batman and flash are doing the usual spiel of ‘the laws exist for a reason,’ ‘you can trust the police’ and ‘there’s no good reason to turn to crime’

These kids want nothing to do with that shit and they’re trying to edge away while making excuses ‘thank you sm!! But no this is so safe, I know this area so well! We can get home ourselves!’ as soon as Batman starts asking about their parents so captain marvel just grabs Batman and flash and starts flying in the opposite direction ‘do you see that?? No guys seriously look at this cool thing!!’ and Batman’s growling about ‘childish to a degree that’s entirely unprofessional’ and ‘needlessly endangering civilians, civilian children at that-!’ and flash is trying to mediate but batman is shoving documents in his face ‘They were runaways, they don’t have anywhere to go and now they’re on a hitlist’ the ‘you fucking imbecile’ goes unsaid but they all hear it so marvel takes them back to villains lair and grabs a henchman at random and goes ‘This guys a cop…you can check that with your fancy equipment, right??’ and batman checks solely to prove him wrong but that guy is a cop and so are about 60% of the henchmen they took out then marvel goes ‘So they wouldn’t have been safe even if you took them to a hospital or child services’

Before the id reveals there’s a mission where the police are involved and flash mentions something about police protocol and marvel is so concerned bc ‘you’re still undercover? How long have you been under cover dude??’ and flash is confused bc ‘you know I’m not undercover right?? That is my actual real life day job’ and no one believes him when he says marvel shot him the most disgusted look you can imagine and edged away from him 

Batman tries to hold a meeting to address how marvel deals with the police and it goes no where bc marvel is fucking menace and goes ‘don’t you do that too?? And technically I’m also a vigilante sooo’ and batman is scrambling to get the jls attention back like ‘marvel hits cops 62% percent harder than other criminals and is 43% less friendly when interacting with the police in any capacity’ but they don’t care bc they want to know why marvel considers himself a vigilante 

They start letting Marvel be the one to approach children and notice that he’s advising them on how to make food last longer and maintain good hygiene while taking care of themselves and a jl members like hey wtf?? and Marvel says some bullshit about how ‘he’s lived many lives and not all of them were charmed’ and it gets back to cyborg who starts a rumor that he was dracula bc he can’t believe marvel had the balls to look WW in the eyes and lie to her fucking face

[shadesoflsk]

EVERY STEP YOU TAKE !

ft. Leon Kennedy.

summary: just some headcanons about watching Leon age!

a/n: This came to me in a revelation. i just noticed that in some scenes, Leon's wrinkles would be even more noticeable. let it be his tough job or the fact that he's indeed "growing old", i wanted to write about Leon realizing the fact that time spares no one. Also, i had in mind re4 Leon turning into id leon ?? I know neither of them are really old, but yeah...

Can you actually read what's written in there? It all started as simple jokes and innocent teasing. You would often poke fun at your boyfriend for the way he's squinting his eyes while reading. He's still very young – 27 years got nothing on him – yet you found it so endearing to observe him while he pouted. Getting mad as your teasing words started.

He can't, thank you very much. He needs glasses, even though he keeps on denying it. He first noticed his little problem when he was reading a document, too focused on the tiny letters to even acknowledge the real meaning behind those words. Is that an a or an e? Dear God, this can't be happening, he thought. The world wasn't prepared to see him wearing glasses. Nor was he prepared for your endless teasing if he admitted it.

Baby blue eyes, Leon S. Kennedy! Or at least that's what you used to call him in the past. As years went on, some pet names were long forgotten. He has grown more serious and more cold but not less romantic. Yet he wasn't his past self who would blush if you called him baby. He likes reminiscing about the past – how he had a bright future. He still has, right? It is not like life is over.

However, life seemed so ridiculous as you stated that there were some faint wrinkles on his forehead. His hand unconsciously reaching for the skin there, feeling some lines. He just needs to moisturize or buy some serum for his skin. Life as an agent was tough – this was just dry skin you don't understand. Too many excuses for a man who is so sure that those lines are just a product of his exhausting job.

Don't look so mad! you often told him when you found his eyebrows doing the exact same thing during and after a gruesome mission. Being lowered and pulled together. He always had a resting bitch face that didn't match his own personality. He would try and not furrow his eyebrows as soon as you told him that expression would cause even more wrinkles to form.

After a year or so, he reluctantly admitted that yes, those were wrinkles. But that's not something bad. In fact, it was more than okay to age. He once read in a magazine that wrinkles served as a map of every journey and challenge he had faced. No, it isn't sappy. You're just jealous that his faint wrinkles look better on him than you.

But even though you kept on joking, he was grateful for growing old with you. You met him when he was a bright and young cop. Full of life and love to give. Now, you were standing next to him. Kissing his forehead and whispering sweet nothings, you promised him that you would always love him, even though he could barely walk in the future and even though their romantic dates would consist of feeding some pigeons and fighting nurses because you guys don't want to take your meds.

[mtfstuff]

The desired role

I never thought my life could change this drastically. Let me tell you that I once was a strong and fair cop but I lost all of that quickly without fully realizing what I did. It all started a few months ago on this fateful afternoon.

On that day I was on my patrol, driving around in my police cruiser looking for potential trouble as usual.

I had gotten a call from a young woman that it seems like a young man is selling himself for sex to other men in a more remote area of the town. I was driving around there to see if I could spit him and I could after a fee minutes of searching. I carefully parked the cruiser and tried to sneak up on them. They were in the back of an alley. I could see the young man wearing skin tight latex from neck to toes. He was getting fucked by an older man with a beer gut while another man demanded the young man to suck his dick. I came closer but one of the older man noticed me and started to run. I quickly started to run towards them, shouting at them to stand still. The second man pushed the young man towards me and started to run away too.

I catched the young man and could only watch as the two old men ran through a backdoor and closed it. I handcuffed the young man and then walked up to the backdoor, trying to pry it open but to no avail. The thick metal door didnt move a bit. I got back to the young man and looked at him thoroughly. His body from neck to toes was covered in latex, even his hands. The only places free of latex was his crotch area and a hole around his butt. His dick was locked away in a chastity cage. He seemed intimidated by me as he didnt even reach my shoulders.

"Are you even old enough to sell yourself in this 'business'?", I asked him starting to walk him towards the cruiser.

"Is this regarding my size? Yeah I know I look young with my 5' but I can assure you that I'm 26 years old.", he answered cowardly.

"Do you have any ID to back up that claim?"

"No. I lost everything around 4 months ago."

I pushed him into the backseat.

I got into the car on the drivers seat.

"Whats your name?", I asked opening the criminal justice information system.

"Jordan Blight.", he said. I could hear him starting to sob.

I entered his name into the computer and found multiple things about him. It started with him disappearing, followed by multiple offensive crimes.

I exhaled deeply. By the looks of it this guy would now go to prison even though I knew that from the way he looked he wouldnt survive a week there.

Jordan must've had a similar thought as he started crying.

"Please... I'll do anything. I just cant go to prison. Please!", he cried.

"Sorry man, but I cant help you.", I answered looking at him through the rearview mirror.

"Please...", he continued crying. "I'll do anything... do you need sexual relief? I'm supposedly good at it. Do you need someone to talk to? I'm a good listener."

I stayed silent. I felt somewhat pitty for him and his situation.

"Do you need someone to get drugs? I know some who have them.", he continued.

I looked at him concerned.

"Or do you want me as an insider? Or should I be your slave?"

I subconsciously moved an eyebrow and unfortunatly Jordan noticed it.

"What was it? The insider or the slave?", he asked with a grin.

I cleared my throat.

"How did you get in your situation? I mean I wouldnt choose to walk around in a latex suit covering everything but my head, dick and ass.", I asked.

"Changing the subject, I see.", he snickered. "I was drugged by some I considered friends. They stripped me, put me in this latex suit and cock cage. They also made sure that I dont get out by welding the zipper fully into the suit. They then brought me here, into a city I dont know to make me a sex slave. And they succeeded. I got addicted to sex and drugs over the last few months. It feels like I know more about the taste of dicks and cum than real food. It feels like I dont even remember how it feels to wear something else than latex."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I - I dont even know what to say.", I said.

"Say if it was the slave or the insider.", he laughed.

"Neither. Just a weird thought I sometimes have."

"Tell me about it."

I felt torn. He had the right appearance for my weird wish but he was just a stranger, even more a stranger I've just arrested. But I still had this feeling that I could tell him.

"Since I was in pre-school I was the tallest guy and even without working out I was pretty muscular.", I said. "And I dont know why as my family isnt tall at all. Since then I started to get this wish, to feel small. Even get somewhat humiliated."

It was a weird silence.

"I didnt see that coming.", Jordan said. "You, this hunk of a good looking man, wants to be humiliated. You want to be in my position?"

"Yeah, I do.", I said. "I just want to know how it feels."

"Well, I'd do anything to not go to prison but I dont know how much I could humiliate you."

He chuckled.

"I mean I'm 5' and you're like 6'3.", he added.

"6'5 to be precise.", I said. "I could have something that would change this situation. Only if you're down for it."

"I'd be doing it if it means that I wont go to prison, so yeah. Tell me, what is it you have."

I moved around in my seat, fearing his reaction to what I would tell him.

"I have a body swap item with me.", I told him.

He bursted out into laughs. It was almost contagious. Almost.

He slowly caught himself again.

"You cant be serious!", he looked at me. "Oh shit, you're serious."

"I dont know if it works but it could be your way out of prison if you do it with me for a short time. Its said to be reversible so we'd swap back after that session of ours.", I said.

He thought about it for a moment.

"Sure, why not. I always wondered how it felt to have a body as incredible as yours."

"Then its a deal.", I started the engine and drove us to an even more remote area of the city.

When we arrived I turned off the cruiser and got out. I opened the trunk of the cruiser and took a strange needle out of it. I closed it and opened Jordan's door. I pulled him out and pushed him into an abandoned alleyway.

I unlocked his handcuffs and he rubbed his wrists.

"So how does this work?", Jordan asked.

"We have to prick a finger each with this.", I held the needle in front of him. "Then the pricked tips have to touch and then we swap or transform into each other. That wasnt fully clear."

"Then lets do it.", he answered.

I took one of his fingers and pricked the tip. He let out a slight gasp. Then I pricked my finger and held it up. He pressed his finger against mine and I immediately felt a weird sensation, as if a force was pulling my whole body from my finger.

Jordan musst have felt it himself as he pulled his hand away. I looked at him and noticed that he started to grow, not just in height but also in terms of muscles. His latex suit got pulled thinner and thinner before it finally ripped in multiple places. The scraps of latex fell to the ground, revealing Jordans new muscular body that was still growing. I could immediately see that his muscles looked like mine. Jordan marveled at his new body, already smelling his armpits or feeling his abs. I looked down at his dick to see if it was growing too and it did. It was already straining against the cage before the cage sprung open and fell to the ground. Jordan's dick was the spitting image of mine and it was rock hard.

Jordan was almost the same height as me now and only his face looked different. A beard stubble was starting to grow on his cheeks as his bone structure started to morph into mine. His hair grew shorter and his eye color changed. It took only a few seconds and it was as if I was looking into a mirror. A naked mirror.

"This is incredible!", Jordan said feeling his biceps. "We could be twins right now! But shouldnt you look like me?"

"Yeah, I thought I would transform too but until now I only have this strange feeling.", right then the feeling changed and I started to shrink. While shrinking my uniform felt heavier and the gun holster looser every second and suddenly my pants, including my boxers, fell to the ground. My jacket and vest were huge on me, my hands didnt even stick out of the sleeve anymore and my dick was hidden behind the vest but I could feel how hard it was. It was almost painful.

I looked at Jordan and he had a huge grin on his face.

"Your manly face on my body wearing a uniform thats to big for you is just a funny sight to behold.", he said not letting go of his new muscles.

I started to feel my face change. The receding beard as well as the quickly growing hair tickled. With a faint plop I could hear my bones change and then the feeling vanished.

"Looks like I'm the officer now.", Jordan said.

He grabbed me by the throat and lifted me up. I could feel my socks and boots slip off my feet before I felt the cold ground beneath my butt. Jordan had dropped me.

"Man this strength is crazy!", he exclaimed.

I coughed a few times, trying to get my throat to feel normal again.

Jordan grabbed my arms and quickly pulled the rest of the uniform off of my body. I was now sitting on the cold floor completely naked.

Jordan dropped the vest, jacket and undershirt. I could hear him breathing heavily.

"I havent worn real clothes for months.", I could hear him say to himself.

He picked up my boxers from my pants and looked at them in his hands. He quickly smelled them and let out a quiet moan before carefully slipping his legs through them. He pulled them up to his hips and took his time to position his new big dick in a comfortable place.

It looked like Jordan quickly forgot about me because of the uniform.

He continued by pulling my socks out of my boots before pulling them over his feet and muscular calves. He wiggled his toes and giggled.

He grabbed the undershirt and pulled it over his broad chest. I marveled at how great it fit him. I now saw that I truly knew how to show off my body.

He removed the gun holster from the belt before stepping into the pants. He closed the belt and added the holster back.

He grabbed the jacket and quickly put it on before adding the vest onto his torso.

The last thing left were the boots. He seemed to almost celebrate this. He grabbed them and slowly unlaced them. He relished stepping into them, I could see it. He tied them again and took a few steps.

"This feels so good. Wearing real clothes, a uniform even. And then wearing shoes again. No more barefoot in latex.", he said.

Standing before me really was the spitting image of me, officer Stephen Benson. An officer with a bright future, thinking about how he could do anything as me now made my dick even harder.

"What are you going to do with me, officer?", I asked trying to get his attention.

He helped me up before pushing me face first against the wall.

"You can be more than lucky I got my uniform back. Impersonating an officer is a serious crime!", he said.

I felt him rubbing his crotch against my back.

"That was all just a big misunderstanding sir!", I answered.

I suddenly felt how he put the handcuffs around my wrists on my back.

"Misunderstanding or not, you're going to jail.", he said.

I got nervous, was he just roleplaying or taking over my life. I wanted to be submissive but I didnt want to go to jail. The thought of him taking over made me even harder. My dick was pressing so hard against the dirty brick wall.

"You're lucky as I'm in need of sexual relief.", he turned me around to face him. "And you may not go to jail if you go down and do a thing for me."

Jordan had a devilish grin on my old face. I went down and he immediately pushed my face into my old crotch. I could smell the fabric as well as the stench of my old sweat. But most of all I could feel the outline of the beast inside the pants that was once mine.

He continued pressing my face into his crotch.

"Worship me. Worship my muscles and uniform!", he said.

I couldnt answer because my face was pushed so hard against his crotch but I managed to move my hands behind my back to get his attention there.

He bent himself over me to unlock one side of the handcuffs again.

I immediately moved my hands to his firm butt and squeezed it. My hands slowly ran down his legs, feeling the muscles beneath the fabric every time he flexed his legs. I knew that it should be wrong, worshipping your real body but it just felt so good.

My hands went down further, now slightly massaging his calves before I ran my hands over my combat boots he now wore. Touching the leather felt surprisingly good so I kept working on his feet. That combined with inhaling the musk of my old crotch and uniform felt intoxicating.

"Take it out and suck it!", I heard Jordan order with my old deep voice.

It sent chills down my spine knowing that I sounded like that before but now I wasnt in control of it or any other part of that body.

I opened the belt and pants and pulled out his dick. It was more than massive from my point of view and it was already throbbing and leaking pre-cum.

I opened my mouth and Jordan saw that as his opportunity to push the full 8 inches down my throat. I thought that I would have to throw up but this body had like no gag reflex anymore. I continued sucking on my old dick while Jordan controlled my speed by having his hands behind my head.

It felt weird and at first I didnt knew what to do but it only took a few seconds before the muscle memory kicked in and I started sucking like a pro. I could feel the veins pulsate in sync with Jordan's heartbeat. I used my tongue to play with it and I heard Jordan moan every now and then.

He suddenly grabbed my head more tightly before I felt his dick erupting in my mouth. I immediately started to swallow and tasted cum for the first time. The salty but still somewhat sweet taste was weird at first but it felt more normal with every string Jordan shot into my mouth.

"Dont spill.", he said panting.

I swallowed everything before he pulled me to my feet again. He turned me around again and I could immediately feel him running his dick along my ass. He pushed it in without warning but it didnt hurt at all.

"Damn, my hole was loose.", Jordan said. "I have more to give to you."

He pounded me hard but it still turned me on more. Knowing that the roles would be reversed in reality. I should be the muscular officer and Jordan should be this twink but right now I was living my phantasy.

His thrusts changed pace and I could feel how he prepared to unleash another load into me. He pushed me tight against the wall, his hands on my hips as I felt him shooting his warm and slimy masculine seed up my ass.

He pulled out and I felt him wiping off his dick on my butt cheeks.

I was covered in sweat but it felt great to have been used like this and I bet Jordan loved being a muscular officer too.

I was awaiting that he would unlock the handcuffs again so that we could swap back but he suddenly grabbed me with full force by my neck and threw me to the ground.

"You let something drip out of your ass!", he said firmly pointing at his feet. "Go on and clean my awesome combat boots."

I got on my knees and licked the cum off of my old boot. It tasted just like before, only that it had now dirt mixed into it. I was almost done licking as I felt a few finger intrude my butt. Jordan pulled them out again and tasted it.

"Damn man, this body tastes good.", he said.

Suddenly we both looked intensely at each other knowing exactly what caused it. It felt like a damn broke in our minds. My mind got flooded with the memories of Jordan and he probably got access to my memories.

"This- this changes everything!", he said.

He pulled me up.

I cleared my throat to sound manlier.

"Are you ready to change back? There are spare clothes in the trunk of the cruiser you can wear after that.", I said.

"No man.", he said.

"What do you mean, no?"

He pushed me against the wall again.

"You wanted to be me. You wanted to be humiliated and I agreed to escape prison.", he flashed me a quick smile. "But I'm the man now. I have the muscles. I wear the uniform. We'll do this my way now."

"But- but you cant just be a cop and do my job. I cant stay like this."

"You enjoyed being like this."

He gestured to my small, hard and slightly leaking dick.

"And I more than enjoyed being you.", he continued. "You have two options now, 'Jordan'. Keep complaining about swapping back and I'll send you to prison. Or get into the car and be me."

I stared at him in shock.

"It's Thursday, right?", he asked.

"Yes."

"Then lets make a deal. We stay like this till Sunday. If you then still want to swap back we'll do it. If you want us to stay like this we'll stay."

"Deal!"

He grabbed my balls tightly and I let out a loud, uncontrolled moan. He laughed.

"Good. I still have to be on my patrol for 2 more hours. So I'll leave you here. You wanted to be humiliated so you have to make a choice. Stay here until I come back to get you or look around searching for clothes. But if you do, time is running. I wont wait here for you when I'm finshed.", he said.

He laughed again and walked to the cruiser. He stepped into the driver seat, started the engine and left.

Only then I noticed that Jordan managed to place his old chastity cage on my dick.

I didnt fully understand how it got this far but I felt good. The humiliation was everything I always wanted but I still felt the urge to get my body back. I was excited to see what the last few days would bring.

[golbrocklovely]

complicated // colby brock (pt. 2)

A/N: hilariously when i first drafted this, i was gonna make it a lot meaner/hate fucking like, with a lot of jealousy thrown in. but damnit, bridgerton has foiled my plans again and has really turned me into a lover lol so i made this a little bit softer than originally planned. hope yall like it regardless, and please let me know what you think :) see yall with another fic real soon !

prompt: time has passed since you and sam hooked up, and all seems well. except now… colby is upset with you for some unknown reason. || fem!reader x colby brock

trigger warning: SMUT, angst, jealous!colby, possessive!colby, he's still really sweet tho, you guys were out clubbing so... tipsy/drunk sex, mentions of: baby, good girl, darling, cursing, quasi-public sex, could almost get caught, lots of teasing (both sexually and non), mentions of colby having seen you and sam hooking up, sweet ending :)

word count: 3066

~~~~~~~

The morning after Sam and I had sex was awkward to say the least.

We both ignored each other, which was easy since Sam and Colby had many calls and business related things to do. And I, being their assistant, had my own tasks at hand for the following week to start.

But when Sam and I were finally able to sit down and talk about it, it went surprisingly well.

We came to two very important conclusions: one, while we had fun, we weren’t going to ever do it again. We cared too much about our friendship to let sex ruin it. Plus the spark really had only been there that night.

And two, we were to never tell Colby.

Everything seemed good for a while. Life got back into the swing of things; Sam and Colby were traveling, I was handling the business side while they were gone. Normal, boring life occurred.

But all the while, I had this strange feeling. Maybe it was due to the fact that Colby had grown cold towards me, almost standoffish. He sometimes would keep to himself, that wasn't unusual; but his demeanor around me became stiff, almost like he was upset at me.

I wanted to confront him, ask him what was wrong, but it never felt like the right time. When the right time finally did come, it was during a couple days stretch where the boys had off. One night when we went out and both came home empty handed, I decided to finally ask him.

His answer was not at all what I was expecting, but in a way it was the one I wanted to hear all along.

I wanted the truth and now I was finally getting it.

~~~~~~

“No way. I cannot believe you used to run away from cops for a living.” Nicole, Sam’s new… friend, said as we walked into Sam and Colby’s house.

A playful look rested on Sam’s face as he nodded. “Yeah, and we did it pretty well.”

“Up until you got arrested.” I chimed in, smirking.

She gasped. “Oh my God, you got arrested? For what?”

“Breaking and entering. And fake ids.” Colby explained.

“Woah woah, the fake ids were just a you charge, Colby.” Sam replied defensively.

“And that was the first and last time Sam and Colby were separated ever again.” I quipped.

Colby turned to look at Sam, a faux-pained expression on his face. “I just can't quit you.”

“Me neither, brother.” Sam sniffled, pretending to hold back tears. The both placed hands on each others' shoulders, giving a tight squeeze.

Nicole glanced back and forth at Sam, Colby, and me, amused. “You guys are so funny. I have been having such a blast all night.”

“I'm happy to entertain you for as long as you'd like.” Sam lowered his voice to an almost sultry tone, moving to her side.

She bit her lip, looking into his eyes. “Maybe you could do that alone? Upstairs, perhaps?"

Sam gave a cheeky look at me and Colby, "I'll see you guys later."

Nicole giggled as she pulled Sam up the stairs, Sam following suit as he whispered something to her and snickered. I peered over at Colby, waiting for Sam's door to shut before speaking. "Well, she seems nice."

“Yeah she's sweet.” Colby agreed, pulling out his phone. He began to walk to the kitchen, and I followed him.

“So... what do you plan to do the rest of the night?” I asked.

He mumbled. “Might order some postmates, then call it a night.”

“Exciting.” I deadpanned, slightly annoyed at him. I changed the subject, thinking that was the cause, “That new club we went to was a lot of fun. The live music was so cool to hear.”

“Yeah it was.” Colby didn't look up, continuing to scroll through his phone.

I sighed, exhausted. “You know, you've been acting this way all night with me.”

“Like what?” He exhaled, finally looking up.

“Short. To the point.” I stated.

He shrugged. “I don't feel like being social.”

I scrunched my face at him, “It was your idea to go out tonight.”

“My social battery ran out really fast then.” Colby blinked, frowning.

“It's not just tonight though. You've been like this for over a week at this point. I thought maybe it was because of work, but....” I trailed off, unsure.

He pursed his lips, “What?”

“You're icing me out. What did I do?” I questioned, stepping towards him.

He moved back, shaking his head. “I don't want to talk about this.”

I followed him. “Well I do. So talk.”

“Okay, if you really want to talk…” He rubbed his eyes for a moment, finally speaking. “Do you have something to tell me?”

My heart stopped. “What?”

He repeated, his eyes icy. “Do you have something to tell me?”

I sucked my teeth, knowing exactly what Colby was referring to. “...I'm gonna kill Sam.”

He chuckled darkly, “Oh, no no. Don't get pissed at the guy that told me what happened.”

I huffed, “We promised each other not to tell you.”

“He folded real quick on that.” Colby crossed his arms, leaning against the counter.

I stared up at him, puzzled. “When did he tell you?”

“A couple days after it happened.” He informed.

I groaned, spinning to yell towards the stairs, “He really went behind my back and just flat out told you. What the fuck, Sam?!”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Colby argued.

I turned back, “Oh, c'mon Colby. You know why.”

“No please, do tell. I would love to hear why.” He jeered.

I swallowed hard, trying to keep my composure. “Do you think I want to tell one of my best friends 'hey just so you know, me and your other best friend, who is also my friend, fucked'? Of course not!”

“Why? You shouldn't feel uncomfortable doing that. Since you did it so publicly, in this very room, might I add.” He shot back.

My eyes widened for a second. “He told you we fucked in the kitchen?”

“No. He's too nice for that.” Colby stepped towards me, almost looming over me. “Do you remember a couple months back when we thought someone was trying to break into the house, so we got extra security cameras installed?”

I crossed my arms defensively, “What does that have to do with this?”

“We didn't get the cameras installed just outside the house. We also got some installed in the common areas. One in the living room....” He leaned down, whispering. “And one in the kitchen.”

“You're kidding.” My breath hitched involuntarily. 

“Any and every movement that happens in these areas gets recorded. When Sam told me you two fucked, I thought he was joking. But I checked…” His voice fell off, an almost smirk coming to his face.

I stuttered, “Y-You-?”

“You really know how to put on a performance.” Colby spoke condescendingly, staring into my eyes with a mischievous glint.

I scoffed, putting space between us. “Fuck you.”

He rolled his eyes, “You wish.”

I glared, exhaling harshly. “You know, you're acting like a jealous boyfriend.”

“Really?” He sassed.

“Yeah. Why the fuck do you care if I slept with Sam? You've never cared about who he hooks up with. But you suddenly care when it's me?" I scowled.

“I care who he hooks up with.” He argued.

I placed my hands on my hips, “Name me literally one girl he's gotten with within the last month or two. Any of them.”

“Nicole is upstairs with him now.” He remarked sarcastically.

I narrowed my gaze, “She doesn't count.”

“Sorry I don't memorize all of their names. I don't need to really remember them since I'm not the one sleeping with them.” Colby bickered, turning away from me.

I thought for a moment, a realization appearing in my mind, “Any time I've almost hooked up with someone, you've always been so aggressive towards them afterwards. But now since it was Sam, you're angry with me.”

“I'm upset because you didn't tell me. Instead, you wanted to keep it a secret from me. That's why I'm pissed.” He rebutted, facing me once more.

“But what's the difference between Sam telling you or me telling you? You've known basically since it happened, why are you still holding it against me?” I sneered, “Unless, of course, you're jealous.”

He queried angrily, “Jealous of what, exactly?”

“You're jealous I didn't sleep with you.” I hissed.

He shook his head, his voice faltering. “Give me a break, Y/N.”

“No no, be honest Colby. Why else are you pissed? You found out a week ago, and have held it against me just because I wasn't the one that told you. You found out regardless, so what is there to be pissed about?” I searched his eyes, but he tilted his head away from my glare. “It's none of your fucking business who I sleep with, whether it's Sam, the guy down the street, or a random guy at the club. You're not my boyfriend. I'm allowed to fuck whoever I want to!”

I spun on my heel, but Colby's hand gripped my wrist, spinning me back to him. My eyes locked with his for a brief moment as he grabbed my face, kissing me deeply. I shuddered a breath, taken aback by how passionate the kiss was. Colby wrapped an arm around me, pulling me against him, as his other hand pulled on my hair lightly.

“You're right, Y/N. I hate how fucking right you always are.” He nipped at my lips, a low groan leaving his mouth. “Do you know how frustrating it is seeing you with other guys? Seeing them put their hands on you, when that's all I can think about doing?”

“Colby!” I gasped quietly, our mouths meeting again. He pressed me against the counter, the spot feeling eerily similar on my back.

Was this the same spot as-?

“I shouldn't have been a dick to you, I'm sorry. But I will never apologize for wanting you all to myself.” His voice came out in an almost growl, “I want you to be mine, and mine alone.”

My mouth fumbled over my words, my hands gliding up his back. “W-Why didn't you just say that? Why now?”

“Seeing you fuck Sam in here weirdly was the wake up call I needed,” he chuckled bitterly. “I thought that maybe all this time I was just overly protective but no... I am jealous. I don’t want to see you with anyone else ever again.”

Colby's hand lifted up my leg, wrapping it around his waist. He slowly inched his fingers higher and higher until he was under my dress, tickling the lining of my underwear. “Let me show you how badly I want you. Please.”

My knees almost buckled at the sound of his voice. The desperation. I nodded, unable to form words, and his hand slowly slid up more until he pressed his palm against my sex. I squeaked unintentionally, a smirk coming to his face. He rubbed slow circles into my clit, my back arching instantly.

“You're already soaking through your panties... Fuck me.” He grunted.

I bit my lip, “Seeing you jealous is honestly kind of a turn on.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Oh really? You like making me jealous? You like me being possessive of you?”

“I like hearing you admit you like me, so if that does the trick…” I trailed off, teasingly.

He pressed harder into my clit, a moan ripping through me when he did. He moved his mouth down, sucking on my neck in time with his movements.

My hands snaked down his torso, touching every muscle on my way to his belt. I clutched the buckle, loosening his belt from his pants. I slipped my hand inside, cupping his growing bulge. He gasped, grinding his cock into my hand.

He closed his eyes tightly, “Fuck baby, that feels so good.”

My cunt clenched at the sound of his voice, needing him deeply. “Please Colby. Fuck, I want you so badly.”

“I need you too, Y/N.” Colby exhaled harshly, “Spin around for me.”

I glanced at him for a moment, shocked by the hunger in his eyes. I turned around, placing my hands on the counter. The cool surface felt like ice against my hot skin, the hairs on my arms standing on end. I heard a package ripping, Colby sliding a condom on that he grabbed from his wallet. Suddenly his hands were on me, pulling the skirt of my dress up until it rested above my ass. He rolled my panties down, his hands massaging my thighs on their way back up.

“You ready for me?” His voice dripped with an aching need: me.

I breathlessly sighed, “Yes, please.”

He pushed my legs open, the tip of his cock teasing my entrance. I mewled at the feeling, backing my hips up until my ass hit his crotch. He groaned, his one hand gripping my hip while the other rested on my back.

Slowly he glided his cock inside of me, both of us holding our breaths as he did. I stretched around him, his size bigger than what I was used to. He filled me up more and more, my eyes fluttering in ecstasy. His body relaxed against mine once he was all the way in, a shuddering 'fuck' falling from his lips.

“Move, Colby. God, please!” I begged.

His hand moved around me to cover my mouth jokingly. "Shh, you can't be too loud. Don't want Sam and his girl to know what we're doing."

I rolled my eyes, knowing that they were lost in their own world and would give no shits about us fucking in here. Colby smirked against my skin, kissing and nibbling my neck and shoulders. His hand drifted back, running through my hair, tugging lightly. His hips began to move in low thrusts. I bit my lip to not moan loudly, but it was so hard. He felt like heaven, and way better than all of my dreams had imagined.

“God, you feel amazing, Y/N.” Colby whispered lightly, “So wet for me.”

I gripped the counter, holding myself into place as he bucked into me. I moved my hips in time with his, meeting him with each thrust.

His hands cupped my hips, his thumbs rubbing circles into them. “You are fucking gorgeous, baby.”

I hummed a moan, my head lulling back. Colby's hand collided with my ass quickly, slapping it. I let out a small shriek, surprised by the impact.

“Colby!” I giggled, looking over my shoulder at him.

He grinned, his dimples appearing briefly. “Can't help it. Wanted to do that for so long.”

“Really? So you've been staring at my ass all this time?” I questioned.

“Oh yeah. Every chance I get.” He raised his eyebrows smugly.

“Perv.” I joked.

Colby laughed, sliding all the way inside of me and stopping. He pressed me against the counter, his hand drifting down and rubbing my clit. “And you're just like me.”

My eyes almost rolled back into my head from the pleasure. “H-how?”

“You're letting me fuck you right in the same spot Sam fucked you in. They could come down any minute and catch us. You want that to happen, don't you?” He grunted, his voice sounding like pure sex.

His fingers on my clit made it hard to think, let alone respond. I stuttered out a curse. His lips were against my ear, “You're mine from now on, you hear me? No one will ever touch you like this again besides me. Say it. Say you're mine.”

“I-I'm yours.” I whimpered.

“Again.” His hips started back up, fucking me harder against the counter than ever before.

“'M yours.” I slurred, my orgasm growing closer and closer.

He slapped my ass again, “Tell me one more time, darling.” 

“I'm yours! Fuck Colby, I'm yours!” I exclaimed, unable to hold back.

“That's my good girl! Fuck yourself on my cock. Do it.” Colby demanded.

I bounced on his dick, his fingers still rubbing my clit over and over again. I was panting, unable to hold back any noises that escaped my throat. My hand slid down to his hand on my clit, pressing him more into me. I gripped his wrist, my nails digging in.

“You close baby? You gonna fucking come for me?” He cursed, his thrusts picking up speed.

I cried out, “Pleaseeee Colbyyy, I wanna come!”

His other hand wrapped around my throat, lightly squeezing for a second. He taunted, “Shhh, you can't scream, Y/N. Even though I know you want to."

Colby pounded into me harder, guttural moans and the sounds of our skin slapping together filling the room.

His voice was hoarse, hungry. “I'm close, darling. Ffffuck you feel so good!”

I desperately whined back, white knuckling the counter as my high grew near. "I'm gonna fucking-!"

“That's it, Y/N. Come for me. Soak my cock and come!” Colby thundered.

My body exploded into an orgasm, my vision blurring. I cried out in ecstasy and pleasure, my hips bucking helplessly around his cock. Colby picked up his pace, thrusting into me passionately. His husky groans echoed in my ear as he came. His hands dug into my skin, his fingers curved as he rubbed my clit through my orgasm. I shook against him, my body finally relaxing against the counter as my pleasure subsided a minute later.

He rested his forehead against my back, spreading lazy kisses and licks across my shoulders and neck. I smiled, catching my breath slowly. His hands moved, softly caressing my skin as he stood up. He picked me up off the counter, spinning me back to face him. Resting me back against it, his body still against mine. His eyes scanned my face, taking in every detail.

“Hi.” He whispered sweetly.

I grinned, “Hi.”

“You okay?” He asked, lightly brushing my hair out of my face.

“Never better. You?” I giggled.

“I'm great.” Colby pecked my lips, pausing briefly. “I wasn't kidding when I said all of that, you know."

"I believe you." I breathed.

"So... you're still mine, right?” He murmured.

“Of course." I lowered my gaze bashfully, "And you're mine?”

He nudged my face up, our eyes locking. “Absolutely.”

<< part one ||

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 12 thoughts

ha! a post at a different time than usual! you didn’t see this coming, did you? well i like to keep you guessing

do you hate bugs? if so, this may not be the episode for you!

(based on the poll i have running, i’m going to try putting a “read more” thingy on this post. please let me know if this enhances your experience. what a cruel thing to only think of 3 seasons in…)

disclaimer on the formatting of this blog aside, let us jump in, straight from the moments right before i clicked the play button.

okay, so last episode will be a hard act to follow, given that it was my new favorite episode. BUT i think i’ve seen that this episode is a fan favorite?? i think?? so we shall see…

trying to go in with no expectations at all. not even one. just let the story take me where it goes.

but i thought i did see something about this episode referring to a mulder ex?? not sure i can deal with that again at this point in my life. not after phoebe. still haunted by that arthur conan doyle thing.

it's bug time in massachusetts. learn some bug facts with this kindly looking fellow. 

i love academics who are really into things like bugs. i love when they love funny creatures. WAIT HE STEPPED ON IT!! that was cruel??? maybe he is not a kindly fellow after all…

okay, i THOUGHT this dude was teaching a class on science, but he’s an exterminator... LMAOOOOOO they got me with that gag

so he’s putting down a new pesticide to kill the cockroaches. always risky business, those pesticides.

he sprayed the bug with the stuff and then stomped on it and it seems like he started choking?? is he messing with some dangerous poison here??? pesticides scare me…. 

the bugs are pouring out of surfaces and onto him and it is making my skin craaaaawl!!!

oh, a cricket now graces our screen! a pleasant creature. on mulder’s windshield? he went up to massachusetts for the weekend! but not for family reasons. for alien reasons.

scully is cleaning her gun and talking to him on the phone while he looks up at the sky. it’s quite charming <3

“look scully, i know it’s not your inclination, but did you ever look up into the night sky and feel certain that not only was something up there, but it was looking down on you at the exact same moment, and was just as curious about you as you are about it?” <- ohhhh he’s waxing poetic. ohhh what does the massachusetts bring out in this man?

scully is going on about how she thinks the real fascinating truth is that life exists here on this planet at all, and uses the word “anti-darwinian”… and he asks what she is wearing??? she laughs at this 

(i actually really liked her little monologue here and would copy it down, but i want to see what happens next)

he references planet of the apes and they both understand it, which means they have both seen a movie that i have not. sad!

a bright light shines on him and he says he has to go, so he hangs up. way to freak her out!

it’s a cop. he asks what mulder is doing. “just sitting, thinking” LMAOOOO they hate to see a man who ponders

the cop asks for his ID after implying he is on drugs, and then is gagged when he pulls out his FBI badge. and then all of a sudden he’s a “sir”... okay. only getting respect AFTER the occupation reveal. not the most morally outstanding thing...

the cop asks why he has his windshield wipers on and he’s like oh, just knocking a bug off, and the officer reaches for his gun??? and asks if the bugs he is referring to were cockroaches. he’s like… maybe? or maybe a beetle?? “i’m not really good with bugs” LMAOOO

then the cop leaves when he says there is a roach attack. oh?

scully is trying to just enjoy a meal and some tv when he calls and says that she needs to get up here because “it appears that cockroaches are mortally attacking people”, to which she replies “i’m not going to ask you if you just said what i think you just said, because i know it’s what you just said”, which would also be my response to this information!

(she has flowers on her glass of water. it’s quite pretty)

anyway. bodies with roaches. (nicki voice) ROACHESSSS!

oh, they’re very scientific up there in this town, all the people who were victims/witnesses were expert scientists... hmm. any roach scientists?

the guy whose house was being exterminated says he sees cockroaches when he closes his eyes, and he can’t sleep!! that is very concerning.

scully says it might be an allergic reaction to roaches that killed this dude, and this seems to please mulder as an answer, or at least bide him enough time to let her stay the night at her place. and when the cop asks who was on the phone, he says “my drug dealer” <- hahahaha get his ass

in this next scene, i at first thought people were doing some science, but it seems these are teenagers that are doing drugs. and whatever it is has a cockroach crawling in it?

OHHHH OHHHH NO. A COCKROACH JUST CRAWLED INTO AN OPEN WOUND ON THIS KID'S HAND. OHHHH IS THIS GONNA BE A BODY HORROR EPISODE??? BLECKKK this was not what i was expecting after many jokes!! 

he’s scratching and scratching and i literally cannot look. i heard him yell “get them out of me” but i am already light headed and we shall leave it at this.

cut to scully cam. her dog is getting a bath!!! with anti-flea shampoo….. does the creature have bugs or is she just being very cautious? not sure if more bugs would be an auspicious sign. good to see the dog again, i’ve missed him. what a cute little fellow. he whines. 

of course her phone rings when she is covered in soap!!

mulder says she better get up there. the kid is dead. and there were very much drugs at the scene, but mystery drugs.

she says that sometimes people who are high can imagine bugs in their skin- it’s called ekbom’s syndrome. again, love when she knows this stuff. and he says that she is probably right, and she doesn’t really have to come up. “sorry to bother you”, he says, and she says “it’s no bother” into the phone with a smile. 

but the dog!!! he has run away!!! still covered in soap!! naughty little fellow.

back a the scene of the crime. a roach has been caught. mulder somehow squished it. but the exoskeleton was made of metal?? OH! his hand is bleeding!!!

GET HIS HANDS CLEAN NOW!!!

is this some sort of future cockroach that has developed advanced resistance to eradication efforts?? like the darwinian stuff scully was talking about earlier???

he is still bleeding. at the doctor. and the doctor wants to know what the hell is going on. mulder doesn’t know. and the sheriff asks the same thing!!! many are wondering.

doctor goes to the bathroom and a roach approaches. NO NO NO I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING AND I HATE IT NOOOO. 

“i see the correlation, but just because i work for the federal government doesn’t mean i’m an expert on cockroaches” mulder!!!! what a way to speak of your coworkers! hahaha

oh!! someone has been doing experiments in the town!! this dude says killer bees were an accident, and maybe these cockroaches are something similar- is that true about the bees??? need to fact check. OH MY GOSH IT IS??? what the hell. what a scary world we live in.

so the doctor is dead. he was covered in cockroaches when he was found dead, but now they are gone? except for one on the sink. that one falls down the drain.

back to scully cam. she’s reading truman capote’s breakfast at tiffany’s!!! she picks up the phone with “who died now?” LMAOOO

she says it was probably a brain aneurysm that killed the doctor, and it looks like it was. cutscene to him jumping into the secret area.

scully at home, looking up cockroaches on a… laptop? with her glasses on <3 and eating ice cream right out of the carton. honestly queen shit!!! her hypothesis: new cockroach species…?

“mulder, you’re not thinking about trespassing onto government property again, are you?” she asks, while he is at the door LMAOOOO 

“i know that you’ve done it in the past” <- yeah, he is a repeat offender. her tone here was so funny, too. trying to gently talk him out of it.

“it’s too late, i’m already inside” HAHAHA

(deep resigned scully sigh) “well, what’s going on? what do you see?” this exchange says so much about them <3 if he's gonna get his ass in trouble, he at least better describe to her in great detail what is going on

he is giving her a full walk through of this place, which looks like a normal house except the moving walls. until the roaches burst through.

and someone turns a light on! he says he has to go. see, that is exactly when i would want someone to be on the phone with me, when a mysterious entrance is made.

so we see dr. berenbaum. i guess she was at home alone, but damn, they are really trying to show off her chest.

“what’s a woman like you doing in a place like this?” he asks. gag (and not in the slay kinda way, in the "please stop mulder, you're making me cringe" kinda way)

OHHH scully is still staring at the phone… is she contemplating or did he forget to hang up?? does she have to listen to all of this? another case of her being god's strongest soldier if she has to hear this.

and in the next scene, dr. berenbaum has buttoned her flannel. it is differently buttoned in the next cut.

WAIT. she’s talking about UFOs. she thinks they are really insect swarms. this seems like a trap to lure mulder into some trouble, by getting him distracted...

she’s saying something about loving insects. so now we get a REAL academic who loves bugs!

LMAOOOO the phone rings and he answers it only to say “not now”, ohhh he wants her bad. he says that he finds insects to be very interesting. LMAOOOOOO an absolute LIAR!! just after she said she loves bugs for being honest. mulder is not immune to lying to women to make them like him. a cardinal sin! just be yourself, man!

at a motel room, a cockroach is approaching another guy’s feet. and he’s scratching at himself and i see where it’s going and i’m NOT LOOKING. i can’t bear it. 

mulder waking up. in. a bed? did they hookup??? oh i don't need to imagine that.

no, seems he is by himself, in the motel. which is good. i don't need that kind of energy in my life. 

he opens his eyes and immediately calls scully. who was sleeping with the phone on her pillow to be there if he called again. AWWWW. she is so thoughtful.

she does not seem to be enjoying that the scientist is a woman, and also that her name is bambi, which like. okay, i get that. bambi is kinda wild as a name, lmaooo. she cannot believe it. no offense to any bambis reading this, you are deeply valued. he's babbling about bambi and bugs and her parents were both naturalists, and dude, shut upppp

“scully, can i confess something to you?” he asks

(scully is visibly cringing, with pain in her voice) “yeah sure, okay!” <- LMAOOOO she was prepared for the worst!!! but ready to try and be supportive no matter what!! that is friendship! this moment was sosososososo cute. she was bracing herself for the worst but still trying to be kind. she did NOT wanna hear about his antics with this bambi!! and i do not blame her!!!

he says “i hate insects”, and she tries to comfort him saying lots of people are afraid of them!!! because that is a good friend who sleeps next to the phone waiting for your call, even after you mysteriously hang up on her!!!

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! he was terrified of a praying mantis as a child. they look like aliens. he was repulsed by the mysteries of the natural world. we can unpack that at another time.

he says that it “wasn’t a girly scream” that he let out as a child, and she asks if he was sure LMAOOOOO 

she’s so funny i SWEAR. they need to call more late at night/very early in the morning just to make fun of each other but also do their very best to support each other.

but! a loud screaming in the distance. he hangs up the phone again and she rolls her eyes. 

discovery: that the dude seen in the hotel earlier was covered in cockroaches. also, he is dead.

mulder at the scene with his JEANS ON, NO SHIRT, BELT UNBUCKLED????

wait. we need to unpack this. was he SLEEPING in jeans??????? holy fuck... we need to lock this man UP, that is CRAZY!

anyway, the cockroaches that were just on that guy's body are gone. so they just disappeared somehow. not as crazy as a man sleeping in jeans, but it is up there.

she’s getting her stuff to come up there now. and i like that we get to see into her place, her little kitty on the desk, her two giant bookshelves. maybe i tried to pause and read what was on there, any maybe i had no luck!

also, now she’s on the phone with him explaining the mysterious death, and he’s clothed. he must have saw the dead body and realized he had time to change.

mulder seems to think that this dude had a heart attack. and all of scully’s theories have seemed correct. but that doesn’t explain the metal exoskeletons, which he had NOT mentioned before, and leaves her gagged.

“mulder, i’m coming up there” “whatever”, he says, as he sneaks onto the ground, to catch a roach!!! petulant child of a man.

cut to bambi, analyzing the cockroaches. with mulder pressed veeeeery close to her face. and the cockroach is… hung? but they are actually robots??? so this robot cockroach has that as a design. interesting. 

turns out, a guy who makes bug robots lives in town. so mulder is off to visit. and we see a little one walk by!!! about the size of a roomba or small dog. mulder seems enchanted by it, following it in. it's a very cute little guy. i politely request 10 of them.

dr. ivanov is the fellow behind all this. they’re trying to make AI robots by making them bugs. interesting strategy. if only AI was used to make cute little dog-sized robot bugs in our age...

the robots are following mulder about. dr. ivanov says the bug robot likes him!!! aww

the goal of this research is that they want to send the bugs to space!!!! to explore alien civilizations! and that if aliens visit our planet, they will also be robots. if you think otherwise, you have been brainwashed by sci-fi. scalding hot takes coming from dr. ivanov here.

interesting to see two separate takes on what aliens/UFOs actually are in this episode from someone other than mulder.

these roomba or small dog sized bug robots are soooo cute, not at all like those real looking cockroaches.

ugh! i just realized they probably had to get a TON of roaches on set to film all this. and they were probably crawling about…. euGhHhh

he asks dr. ivanov to identify the bug legs. and dr. ivanov looks terrified. he says it is beyond his comprehension...??

and then a cockroach walks across the screen? it looks like it’s walking right on the camera. i had to replay to see if it was supposed to be walking along their faces, but no, it’s completely flat, right on you, the viewer’s screen, which i’m sure made a lot of people jump!!!

the grocery store is being looted for all things, even chocolate and pantyhose. someone crashes a car, and someone else slams into scully, who looks IMMENSELY displeased.

scully just wants a damn map, but one person is saying that roaches are eating people whole, then another person says they’re spreading ebola. the misinformation panic can produce!

she starts yelling in the convenience store, and people mostly calm down. queen of controlling the situation. until someone knocks over some candy that sort of kind of looks like roaches if you squint and the stampede resumes. 

LMAO SHE TAKES ONE OF THE CANDIES. 

dr. ivanov and mulder are drinking whisky??? okay, boys night i guess. he finds a real looking roach on the way out. and starts talking to it.

he brings it to bambi and she confirms it’s a real cockroach.

scully calls, saying this town is insane. and that she has a lead! the alternative fuel researcher brought various animal dungs in, which could have started an infestation. and she says “maybe you can confirm this with your dr. bambi” and there is a sort of venom in there that has me giggling. get his ass queen.

oh, and now he’s going on about aliens. she says he’s been in this town too long. 

HE BRINGS BAMBI TO THE INVESTIGATION??? he says to wait until it’s safe and he’s worried about the human element. DOES HE MEAN SCULLY?? or the researcher...

so poor bambi is just gonna sit in the car i'm crying

it’s the guy who was saying he was seeing cockroaches in his sleep!! and who found the first body, of the exterminator!!! he’s in there spraying stuff on a cockroach and it doesn’t do anything.

sure enough, cockroaches in his dung samples. mulder goes to touch it when this DUDE SHOOTS AT HIM?? his name is dr. eckerle. he says they’re following him. and that the bugs drive him crazy. 

scully rolls up and says “let me guess- bambi” and bambi says “fox told me to wait out here” FOX?? hearing his real name is always such a jumpscare. she loads her gun and says this is no place for an entomologist. OKAYYYY steal his girl!!!

back in the lab, dr. eckerle has mulder at gunpoint. he’s reciting bug facts to distract him.

mulder tries to explain that dr. eckerle hasn’t gone crazy, but then he brings the gun back up to his chest and asks mulder if he’s a cockroach, so. jury’s out on that one. 

scully in da research facility. she can’t find him. so she rings his phone. and dr. eckerle takes this as a sign that he is a cockroach!! he fires his gun in the facility full of methane gas and they have to run run run!! they make it outside and tell bambi to get down just in time.

agents are covered in exploded dung. deeply unfortunate.

and there had been 4 other fires that night!!! and a whole lot of automobile accidents, assaults, other such panic induced things. but no cockroach problems. 

the episode ends with another planet of the apes quote and bambi hitting it off with dr. ivanov.

scully observes all this and says “smart is sexy” LMAOOOOOOOO 

AND THAT THEIR CHILDREN MIGHT SAVE THE PLANET THE NEXT TIME DUNG EATING OUTER SPACE COCKROACH ROBOTS REACH THE PLANET. she is sooooo out of pocket!!!!!! but it was deserved.

he doesn’t seem to know what to say to this so he tells her she smells. and she seems taken aback LMAOOO

episode wrap up time. mulder edition. “the development of our cerebral cortex has been the greatest achievement of the evolutionary processes. big deal.” <- okay i’ve said lmao a lot, but that one got a real, genuine laugh out of me. ugh his dumb ass… love him so bad. 

he is typing and typing and we see his fish in the background. also he is eating something. that i really hope has no cockroaches.

he’s going on about the vastness of technology but then has to slap the computer to get it to work LMAOOOO

he’s calling humanity mindless and primitive and BAM cockroach looking thing on whatever it was he was eating. he gets around to smack it. and then he lands a great smack, with an FBI file. i paused in case it had any clues to various mysteries and the file number is “667386”, but i don’t think that’s actually relevant at all

we hear a cockroach chirp as the end credits roll

WELL! that was an interesting episode. it’s interesting how even an episode centering on mysterious cockroach deaths can be made funny. they leaned into the campy elements, which i enjoyed.

things on my mind, in no particular order: scully cleaning her gun while calling mulder, mulder talking in poems while watching the stars, how they quoted planet of the apes at the beginning and then when two other did it it was in an implied romance (hey listen, you can’t stereotype the bond between two academics sharing a niche interest into such basic categories as “romance” or “friendship”, but i call it as the narrative presents itself), doggy bath time, the intimacy of long distance phone calls in pajamas, scully sleeping with the phone on her pillow, scully reading breakfast at tiffany's, this man sleeping in jeans.

it’s always weird watching them flirt with people that aren’t each other. and i know the writers do that on PURPOSE but it’s so weird!! the thing you did to be purposefully weird is working!!! so i was wrong about my initial assumption i had seen based on posts crossing my dash, she was NOT a former romantic partner, but a current love interest that did not seem to really feel the same. she just loves bugs, man. can you blame a woman? is there any greater love than between a woman and her research?

but seeing scully lowkey kinda jealous was also making me laugh. i’m not a believer in the whole “men and women can’t be friends thing”, so i choose to interpret that she wasn’t thinking along those lines at first, but the way she clocked him as down bad for her that fast was soooo funny. the minute that first name came out it was game over. 

(i mean, maybe it could be interpreted less as jealously and more as friendly antagonism, but that wasn’t the vibe i was getting. she wanted the tea. and then cocked her gun in front of said bambi and implied she and her new scientist friend were sexy due to their smarts at the end. always watch your back because scully can and will flex in front of ur girl)

it was nice to have a silly one!!! a good old fashioned silly one. although the body horror really did jumpscare me because i was enjoying the silly and then WOAH. cockroach in the arm. i also just shivered thinking about bugs again. nasty nasty! i’m sorry bambi they are just crawly!!! i appreciate their value to science but i just watched that little critter crawl in an open wound so have some space for my discomfort!

i wonder if in the writer’s room, they allotted how many silly episodes are per season. or arc. i see people referring to “arcs” in my reblogs by specific names; you’ll have to fill me in on that measurement of episodes. because it sounds intriguing. but yeah, sometimes you need a lighter one, and it’s nice to get that. 

need a scully fancam to femininomenon….

[pangolin-404]

I would read a post company fic 🥺 Hell, id read a45 chapter fic just about how buddy and crew got the cat.

All the different things you could do.... lazy morning on the couch... possible angst of someone spotting buddy and calling the space cops/the company to report a 'wild masked' running around.... how would buddy get a new body when its current one rots? Will it break down as fast now that it's not constantly fighting? i like to think buddy would have a nest type deal where it and the crew could all cuddle :]

(Please use this as an exsuse to write 100000 paragraphs, I love your lore<3)

:D <3 thank you!!

it is something I want to get to.. I've written drabbles for myself but nothing with a real concrete exposition-middle-end. it's a time/world I think would be fun to flesh out and overall any story I'd post would be much more casual and lighthearted than a company-era story. it is inherently a safer and more self-indulgent setting :^]

it's part of the wider galaxy's culture, under company eye, to not question things. the (human) crew, survivors of the scrap-collection contract, are basically looked at as veterans. to some extent respected, looked at with awe by people who revere the company, but also, nobody pries deep. doubly so because they're all scarred and are 24/7 uncomfortable in public because they're no longer used to it in the slightest. the company owns most businesses, has a monopoly on things, but.. it is also callous about human life. uncaring. it's omnipresent but not all-seeing .

buddy dresses to conceal and covers its face and overall? it and its crew aren't actually bothered. they all keep their heads down.

as for buddy's host well. it's smuggled in as just a mask, hostless and dormant. it takes the crew several days of 1) trying to feel like people again and 2) scheming, to get it a host. and by get it a host I mean they jump and murder someone in an alleyway late at night. there is no passive way to get it a host they just have to nix someone once every few months. normal :thumbsup:

its hosts last much longer without the constant stress. it's not working itself to death in extreme conditions . the worst its body has to face is like. it rains occasionally and it has to dry off

the crew mellows out greatly. somehow both at eternal peace because they aren't being hunted for sport by wildlife, but also their nervous systems still feel like they're being hunted for sport by wildlife. they like getting to actually hang out together

secret old doodles of it and apparatus (before and after it yoinks her off the street). cats are now just as Slightly Irradiated as every other animal . strays love it because it smells like fish

[yb-cringe]

tell me about ur wra headcannons, tumblr user yb-cringe

the whole qpr thing is not-- like none of them sat down and were like man this is a very qpr thing we got goin on. theyre in fantasy land and also suck at communicating. therefore it just sort of happened

fwhip and gem are twins it was kind of expected right. yeah see everyone else was Not expected. there just werent any good words to say to describe whatever codependent bullshit they had going on. someones probably asked them like hey are. are you all dating or. and the response is usually what are you a cop

i dont have time to make a webchart for the wra polycule. empires pearlgem real, theyve made out, fwhip and sausage have the most insane tension, gem and sausage are gem and sausage and pearl and sausage are bros who lift together and also yknow dont think i have to say this but clearly. no incest. :thumbs up:

theyre all just insanely dependent on one another iykwim

kicks rocksc i hate that we didnt get as much canon vampire fwhip as we should have. we SHOULD HAVE HAD more vampire fwhip. i fully believe gem invented vampirism to save her brother.

gem once and ONLY once called sausage 'angel' during alsmp and its Only on sausages pov and its NEVER happened again but im OBSESSED with this cute fucking nickname. he is angel to gem and soos to pearl and 'menace' to fwhip .

post canon pearl sent sausage back to be with the roseblings after the events of alsmp therefore he keeps his angel wings ! and this is how we get the santa pearla statues later on in the same universe as the og empires world (because technically sausage left that world and never found his way back AFTER he started world hopping to find a universe where he stopped doomsday)

essentially i smoke a lot of copium that pearl would recognize he spent his whole life trying to fix everyones mistakes and uses Godly Powers to send him back to the roseblings whove been just chilling in the sky for fuckin years now. because he deserves to be with them !!

remember when sausage drugged kidnapped tortured and then killed gem. hey what if that had consequences.

hey remember when sausage begged for death and gem killed him potentially forever. hey what if that had consequences.

hey remember when gem got freezered by everyones least favorite emo elf? hey what if that had consequ--

You get the point. i usually draw or imagine gem with a) a huge withered scar from sausage killing her (which he feels horribly guilty about all the time. hes getting better at letting it go because gem's assured them theyre pretty much even at this point)

AND b) gem still has a white streak of hair from the ice blast.

fwhip is also fucked up by that explosion btw. brother does NOT get to fuyckin be central to a giant ass BLAST and walk away. he's lost a hand, he's covered in scars, his hearing is fucked up-- I think if I was more knowledgeable and less of a coward id compare his scarring to like. ctubbo. he's okay though he's still a fucking asshole

he also knits. he knits gem gloves. however one time she knit him a scarf uh but she sucks at it so she was like well you dont have to keep it. and fwhip was like the stitching is loose this sucks so much and then never took it off

[rose022]

hi~ im rose! (among other names lol, ask for them or find them) welcome to my intro!

- dont feel bad about blocking or unfollowing me, just wanna say this. i may make posts abt being confused when i see people leave but curate ur own experience idc be happy

- you can call me whatever you want idc, just lemme know. like genuinely any nickname. i do have two others tbh but ehh

- yeah yeah im an adult so dont block me if i like ur post and u say mdni ight? also for any minors if that makes u uncomfortable u can leave. i dont tend to post anything nsfw here, just sometimes suggestive stuff and both nsfw and suggestive are tagged just like that

- pronouns are whatever is funniest in the moment. or just use your own. neos are ok

- asks and dms always open for anything. i won't really reach out first but i promise you can always talk to me about anything. if you don't have anyone else or just want to talk about a particular thing or want to vent, etc. like genuinely pretty please talk to me about your interests i will gladly listen!!! <3

- also you can always tag me in anything!! i love tag games (i may take a bit) and if theres anything you think id like or reminds you of me id love to see it!!

- don't really have a dni but like i will block you if you're a bigot. im a fag and autistic if you don't like that go away idc. also if you are pro cop or military stuff fuck off

- if we're mutuals please tag stuff with cw rose for anything with touya or akito being shipped with anyone else or TBHK nene and tsukasa as a ship, self harm images, stuff about spiders (or any bugs kinda) mostly pictures of them or them on someone (bees moths and butterflies exempt), needles if theyre detailed not cartoony, real life gore of animals or humans (not sfx or art just real stuff), sa, stiff about veins, and please use tone tags but mostly just for joking or sarcasm as i tend to assume everything is serious.

- MUTUALS PLEASE TELL ME STUFF TO TAG FOR YOU!!! i do my best to read carrds and intros and stuff but i might forget please remind me please. gore and sexual stuff will get tagged as gore and nsfw but it's mostly explicit stuff. things are tagged as what it is, not with cw or tw.

- !!current things i tag are agere, homestuck, eye strain, saiouma, bsd, religion, body dysmorphia, religion, marlo dont look (for nsfw stuff, tbh im not sure what counts but anything with mentions of sexual stuff that isn't just like a joke), elie shoo (csm saiouma gore), suggestive (anything relating to anything nsfw like jokes or anything else), adrien no look (alcohol, crickets, girl interrupted, hospital innuendos), clowns

- tags

#rose rambles - my posts

#rose tagged ramblings - i made a separate one for when i talk a lot in tags

#rose art - quite simply rose's art

#rose ocs - the sillies from my brain

#ask rose! - asks

#rose pics - look i don't get creative with naming these i think you can tell

#rose cosplay - ^^^ yeah

#helpful - things that could be helpful to anyone

#save - similar to above but more so personal things

#important - maybe not technically helpful but i think people should see

#favs - self explanatory, i believe

#sillies - similar to above but not really

#luv - mutual appreciation mostly

#heart! - things made by mutuals!

#liebe - things made for me!

#mecore - woah thats so me frfr

#rose writing - idk man take a guess

(i wanna like fix all my posts to have tags but i reblog so much and itll take me a million years to get back to the start of my account atp. maybe one day.)

- commission info

art:

writing: $2 per 100 words (?)

i also take requests for these!! or other stuff but like it will almost definitely take me a bajillion years to finish so if you wanna make sure i do something, gimme money. but u dont gotta its ok ily anyways

i have a k-fi rose226 and dm for p-ypal

- sideblogs

@nightcord-luka-official

@luka-spotted most active

@daily-akiyama-mizuki hiatus!

@daily-asahina-mafuyu hiatus!

@kokomi-sangonomiya-official

@mafuyu-asahina-official

@wansho-luka-official

@junior-high-enanan-official

@fischl-official

@rosemusictime lol no followers

@oz-the-bird-official (to translate my Fischl)

@ako-udagawa-official this and above in progress

@daily-purple-character send reqs

@rose-poll-account

@aoi-shirosaki-official pjsk oc rp blog

@hikari-itsuki-official ^

@yuki-jigoku-official ^

@kei-makura-official ^

@roseswonderland things i make

@yuki-spotted

@niigo-va-updates

(i may remove u as a follower depending on if i trust you enough for these next few but if we're mutuals ur pretty much safe)

@moonlit-thoughts22 vent

@selfless-lvr selfship/kin

@softrosebud agere

@shhh-its-rose moots only one mentioned at the top of this

and ask for the nsfw one... cus im too scared to just add it

(guys i think I have too many sideblogs help)

im not active on many other social media but if we're mutuals you can ask for like anything and ill probably have an account. somehow im most active here tho (and in one discord server but u guys cant join)

[marzgurl]

Hi there, @katkit-42 , just saw your tags and thought, actually, that's not a bad thing to elaborate upon.

This is another kinda long post, which I think most people should read, too, but I'll be kind and put the bulk of this behind a cut here. Please do take the time to open it up and read it, though.

The real answer is, this whole experience has been me balancing out being mortified by a lot of the things that have happened to me with the fact that everybody involved in the whole thing has also been a complete and utter moron. Any time I even slightly start to get scared, I have to remind myself (or even have my husband remind me) that these are the absolute stupidest people we're talking about, none of whom are wholly capable of completing something so horrific, no matter how serious about it they might be.

I hadn't said it in the previous longpost, but in 2019, it was very clear that Vic had intended to sue me along with Monica, Jamie, Ron, and Funimation (although that never happened). I had received an E-mail copy of a letter of preservation from Vic's very, very stupid lawyers. I'll go ahead and share that here.

It was moronic for a number of reasons. One, I was told it was sent to two different E-mail addresses I have, one of which never arrived. Two, it's written REALLY badly. Three, it supposedly was also delivered via certified mail. Here's the problem: they mailed it to an address in Inglewood, California.

I have never lived in Inglewood, California.

But I know why they THOUGHT I did. Because in 2018, while walking from where I was living to my car to go to work, I got mugged! I had just recently moved and had been filling out paperwork for new jobs and things, and the bag they took still had my social security card, ID, and even my passport in it, which somebody later used to steal my identity. I remember the cops calling me back in a week or two after my mugging asking me questions because they believed they'd found people associated with who mugged me, and they asked me if I'd ever lived at an Inglewood address, and I told them no, and they were like, "Okay, great, pretty sure we know exactly where they are, thanks." So, I hope the guys who mugged me enjoyed having my identity and receiving a letter in the mail saying they were possibly gonna get sued. Thanks for taking one for me, muggers.

I mention this to say Vic has had me in his sights for a LONG time. A good four and a half years now at this point. Although I'm not the one that had any stories of him assaulting me, I was the one who made sure that people could SEE the stories of other people telling THEIR stories, and he HATES that. Clearly, he hates that a LOT.

Vic has vaguely mentioned me NUMEROUS times on his livestreams, saying, "I'm not gonna name names," but clearly intending everybody to know it's me he's talking about. In 2022, he referenced how I have a donation button on my Twitch channel and in the past have occasionally had drives to help me make ends meet. This is despite the fact that my husband and I were both working full time, but life in Los Angeles is hard. Despite this, Vic has this to say:

"These are people who start crowdfunding campaigns to pay their bills. What does that tell you about them? These are losers, everybody. These are people that are for whatever reason so disgusted with their lives--so unhappy with their lives, and instead of, like, working or going out there and, you know--and building something or creating something, they want to sit at home on their computer and look for ways to trash me an other people they don't like. And then they ask you to give them money to pay their bills. Pathetic. Pathetic. *weird snarl* Anyway--"

I feel like a donation bar isn't a "crowdfunding campaign", but we don't have to nitpick here. Vic has also expressed though private E-mails with various individuals that he believes I used crowdfunding to pay for a "cat funeral", which he also found to be distasteful. So, this was clearly a jab at me, but he got the details of it wrong. In 2019, my 14-year-old cat Siren was very sick. I was trying to get her healthcare and wasn't sure how I was going to pay for it. My friend--NOT ME, SOMEONE ELSE ENTIRELY--asked me if it was okay if THEY set up a GoFundMe to help me find a way to save my cat. THEY created the GoFundMe, and some people donated, and we did all we could to save Siren before it was clear that she was too far gone, and we lost her. We did NOT raise funds to have a funeral for her. Not in the slightest. The fact that this is what Vic is telling people is disgusting, and cruel to the idea of somebody who has ever had to deal with the loss of a beloved family member. On top of this, if you have ever struggled to make ends meet, let's not mince words here--Vic thinks you are "pathetic". He thinks if you don't make money, you just aren't working hard enough (even if it turns out you and your family all work full-time and take side gigs just to cover everything). Of course, he also seemed to believe that I didn't have a job at all (a long-running conspiracy theory among his fans, just because they couldn't figure out who my employer was), when I was providing hard evidence of being actively credited for my work as a subtitle and closed caption editor in the anime industry (the very same anime industry Vic was kicked out of).

But it's weird that he thinks you're a loser if you crowdfund to pay your bills! Is that not precisely how you managed to sue the very women you assaulted, Vic? To this day, the "Vic Kicks Back" GoFundMe is still open, and has raised nearly $300,000 dollars--a significantly higher amount than anything I've ever earned via Twitch donations.

In May of this year (which is exactly when Farah was ramping up her online harassment campaign against me), Vic once again vaguely talked about me, but got all the details wrong yet again. Since I can only embed one video, I'll link to this second clip here, which someone else has uploaded to Twitter.

Everybody knows Vic means me when he says that prior to 2019 I only had about 800 followers and now have more like 18,000, all because I was talking about him. Which he's very much over-inflating. I'd already had several years of a career of being an online content creator. By 2019 I had 16,000 followers. I've had my account for something like 14 years. I'm now over 19,000, pushing 20,000. That growth from 2019 to 2023 seems relatively normal to me. It was a very gradual growth that honestly doesn't look all that much different from the growth I'd had since 2009. Even one glance at Social Blade will confirm this is true.

He also keeps saying we've never met (such as in the video clip linked above). But we have! We very much have! I have video of myself--video from EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO--walking up to Vic with a camcorder and him talking directly to me. Feel free to go and watch it for yourself. You can hear my voice and everything!

AND SO! I say all this to say that I have long been aware of how much Vic Mignogna hates me. Vic Mignogna HATES ME SO. SO. SO. FUCKING. MUCH. He has done everything in his power to belittle and discredit me as somebody so much smaller and weaker and completely different from who I actually am, deliberately lying about facts of my life that I can actively prove false at any given moment with a plethora of receipts.

But you wanna hear the real eye-opening thing? In April of this year, just before Farah started going on the attack, Vic was on his livestream yet again making a very ominous statement. Once again, I link directly to it here since I can't embed it for you.

"I'm already in the middle of looking into some very aggressive retaliation and resources to deal with that."

Now, at the time, we all just thought he meant he was FINALLY gonna pursue a lawsuit against me, which, let's go bro, I'm fuckin' ready to go any time, man. But as it turns out, this sure does line up a whole lot more with the timing of Vic's Red Lobster dinner conversation with Farah about starting a cyber warfare campaign against me, on top of maybe possibly probably murder!?!?!? We know that Farah started her cyber warfare just later that very same month, so that sure sounds like convenient timing to me!

My husband and I had joked for a long, long time, like, "You know, he hates me SO damn much. You think he wants me dead?" And it was always kind of a, "Haha, yeah, we're joking, but what if for real?" And then when Farah started E-mailing me and telling me it was probably very real, I mean... yeah, katkit, that did shake me for a bit. I got the E-mail from Farah while my husband was at work, and it stopped my productivity for the day dead in its tracks. Even though it was clear that they had seriously overlooked really obvious facts (like the fact that I was literally not even going to be in the same state as Anime Expo, the event where Vic wanted me hurt), the fact that he wanted me hurt at all was concerning. Also, it was concerning to me that, if Vic at all stopped being a complete and utter fucking moron and realized I'd VERY PUBLICLY already been announced as a guest at a convention in Texas that very same weekend, it might actually be EASIER for him to have someone come to that event and hurt me, because Vic also still lives in Texas. He himself used to live in Houston, where the event was taking place, and likely still had connections there. Delta H Con is really little, without a lot of security. There was only one possible hotel for me to stay in. I was scheduled for panels and to be at my table all day, every day. Where I was going to be at all times was easily tracked for the entire weekend. To that extent, yes, I was very scared.

In fact, over that first weekend of July, I was very prepared to die.

I started trying to spend more time with my husband, trying to be more conscious of how I spoke or reacted to little things, just in general trying to be nicer and more loving. I started spending more time loving on my two cats who I love very dearly, wondering if I only had a limited time left with them. I started preparing folders of information I wanted to make sure my husband had if for some reason I didn't come back from Houston alive.

In the end, obviously, none of that was necessary. Though I guess I can't say that it was in any way a bad thing to spend more time focusing on and loving my family.

Ultimately, I guess I was saved by the stranger who sent me all those screenshots from Farah's Discord server. Surely, they have no idea what they did. To that person, I thank them. I had no idea it was going to save me, either. Had I not had those screenshots to post online and knock Farah loose from her war path, she might have continued to pursue me until she had something she really could have done to harm me for real.

Now, that's just disrupted that specific plan. Whether Vic will continue to want to pursue my death in some other way, I have no idea. I guess I am a little bit more on guard now than I was before. But also, I know there's only so much I can do. All I can do is just keep going and pretending there isn't this weird dude with a life that he could totally control all on his own and live in peace but instead wants his ability to prey on young women so badly that he would literally kill a woman to be able to continue to get away with doing it.

For right now, though, I'm mostly okay. I'm continuing to do my work, I'm going to see a movie tonight that I had a hand in localizing, and I'm feeling grateful for that success. Thank you for checking in on me. It's very kind of you. I hope you're doing well out there for yourself, too.

[drabbles-mc]

Try Enjoying It

David Hale x Tara Knowles

Warnings: 18+, language, pining

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: I wrote this for the love of my life @garbinge for the Trick or Treat Exchange and I had the time of my life doing it. I've thought so much about these two together in the past and it was so nice to actually get to write something for them. I also realize I haven't really written any canon character x canon character stuff and posted it here but I do have things lurking around in the docs lmao. Anyway! Enjoy!

SOA Taglist: @espieviolet99 @littlekittymeow @i-just-read-stuff @justreblogginfics @withmyteeth @paintballkid711 @jitterbugs927 @fanfic-n-tabulous @mijagif @frattsparty @winchestershiresauce @beardburnsupersoldiers @darqchilddaydreamz @choochoo284 @artemiseamoon @nessamc @proceduralpassion (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

Halloween in Charming was about what you’d expect from any small town. Kids were running from door to door, parents half-heartedly playing catch-up with them to make sure they didn’t get too far away. Lights were on above almost every doorway, decorations abound. It was a sweet scene, for the most part.

Just like every other town, though, Halloween in Charming came with its own set of trouble and chaos. Teenagers were running amok causing trouble. Twenty-something’s partied a little too hard and made some stupid decisions in the wake of it. Extra work for Charming PD, but nothing that was unmanageable—they knew it was coming every year.

The one thing that set Charming apart from other small towns, all 365 nights of the year not just Halloween, was the Sons of Anarchy. And, while the club wasn’t exactly known for being festive on Halloween, they were known for causing trouble. Real trouble. Again, that wasn’t something that was specific to the holidays. It was easier to try and hide their messes when there were so many other things going on, though. And they tried.

Hale missed what the original call was on the radio. The details of it didn’t make it through the static but what he did hear was the location, and that was all he really needed to hear. He tried to wrap up the current situation on his hands as quickly as possible. After all, it wasn’t like the kids buying beer from the corner store with fake ID’s were really doing any serious damage. Hale would never admit it, but he was actually a little impressed that they at least tried to be creative enough with their costumes to not get busted for using fakes. Too bad the man behind the counter had been working there long enough to have seen every trick in the book.

By the time that Hale got to the clubhouse, there were still cop cars parked at the compound, lights on but sirens off. Pulling in, he saw Gemma yelling at one of his other officers, Clay standing just a few steps away shaking his head at it all. Whatever the call must’ve been that triggered this, it couldn’t have been that serious if Clay was still there.

Stepping out of his car, Hale walked over. The second Gemma heard his footsteps on the ground she turned and focused all of her attention on him. “Are you the one who started all of this shit?” she asked.

Hale lifted his eyebrows slightly, the smirk on his face was unprofessional, sure, but it wasn’t as though Gemma was the type to give a damn about professionalism. “I don’t even know why we’re all here.”

“Just you and your guys, looking for any reason to jam us up.”

He gave a slow nod. “Yeah,” sarcasm dripped off his voice, “sounds like us.”

The officer she’d been speaking to previously cleared his throat, earning his way back into the conversation even if he didn’t want to deal with more of Gemma’s wrath. “They took Teller and Winston down to the station.”

Hale nodded. “Alright. You got things here, then?”

The young officer clearly didn’t want to be left to his own devices again with Gemma, but he also knew that Hale only phrased it as a question to be polite—he didn’t have a choice in the matter any more than Jax and Opie had a choice in getting brought to the station. “I got it here.”

Hale whipped into the station parking lot just a handful of minutes later. Hopping out of his car, he wasted no time heading right in. It was impossible to miss that Jax and Opie weren’t the only people who had been picked up over the course of the night. There were a few teenagers in the holding cells—they probably wouldn’t even end up booking them, really, just calling their parents and getting them in a bit of trouble at home. A few hours in a cell might be a decent deterrent for a bit, though, so they let them marinate in there.

He ran into Unser before anyone else, which he should’ve seen coming considering who it was that was picked up. There hadn’t been a time in recent history when Unser didn’t look annoyed, but he seemed more annoyed than usual under the current circumstances.

“What’s going on, Chief?” Hale asked, more smug than he had the right to be considering he didn’t have any idea what was going on outside of Jax and Opie being picked up.

“Why don’t you tell me. What the hell are you hoping to get out of Jax and his friend in there?”

Hale held his hands out just slightly, palms out like a sign of innocence. “I didn’t bring them in—I just showed up after the fact.” He paused, letting Unser turn that information over in his mind before asking, “What’d they get brought in for?”

“What started off as a noise complaint turned into assault on a police officer,” one of their other officers piped up before Unser could try and respond to downplay the issue.

Hale couldn’t hide the confusion on his face. “Assault on a—”

“Jax took a swing when one of the guys got smart,” Unser said with a shake of his head.

“When he got smart?” David couldn’t stop the incredulity from sneaking into his voice. He knew that Unser was always going to be pulling for the men in the MC, but sometimes it still managed to shock him.

“Yeah,” Unser replied, no hesitation, just as stubborn as the man in front of him. “Maybe we should have the rookies stop following you around—put ‘em with someone who can teach a little bedside manner.”

Hale rolled his eyes. “Like you? Might end up getting a little too close to the be—”

“Yo!” Jax yelled out from the cell. “Hale, what the hell are we doing in here?”

Hale chuckled. “From the sounds of it, you’re here because you assaulted a police officer.”

Jax scoffed. “Assault. Jesus Christ. Gemma’s hit me harder than I hit him.”

Hale didn’t mean to smile but he still did. “I believe that.” He paused, sucking in a deep, dramatic sigh as he dragged the moment out longer than necessary. Anything to get more of a rise out of Jax. “Assault on a police officer. Not great for either of you, considering everything. Bail for that isn’t gonna be cheap.”

“You serious?” Opie piped up.

Hale shrugged. “Or you can ride it out. Go home in the morning.”

Opie grunted before letting his head fall back against the wall. “Fuck that.”

“Well, guess there isn’t anything I can do for you two, then.” He turned to Unser and the other officer. “Make sure they don’t manage to slip out. Cut ‘em loose in the morning.”

Unser tried to stop him. “Do you really think this is the best use—”

“They can post bail or they can wait it out,” Hale cut him off. “Just like everyone else in Charming.”

Hale was turning on his heel and heading towards the exit before Unser could get another word in edge-wise. He left them with a remark about how if they managed to get anything in a report that could actually stick, to leave it on his desk and he would look at it in the morning. Realistically, Hale knew that whatever someone had called in on the club for, wasn’t going to amount to anything. Same way that Jax and Opie getting into it with his guys wasn’t going to stick either. He was aware of all that, but he was also aware of the fact that it was all going to be annoying and inconvenient for the club. That was worth it enough, in Hale’s opinion.

When he was walking down the steps of the station, he saw a familiar car rolling onto the lot. He slowed down as his boots hit the pavement. The cocky feeling that just had him walking tall out of the station evaporated immediately when Tara’s cutlass slow to a stop and park right next to his Jeep.

“Shit,” he mumbled under his breath, forcing himself to keep walking. He didn’t know why he felt guilty as he walked closer to her car—none of what had unfolded was his fault. And it wasn’t even like anything had really happened. It certainly wasn’t the worst run-in Jax had ever had with Charming PD.

Clearing his throat, Hale got her attention as she was putting her car keys into her purse. “Tara.”

Looking up, her eyes widened slightly for a moment in surprise until she saw who it was that was speaking to her. Her expression relaxed a little bit then, her tiredness showing through a little more. “Hey.”

“What’re you doing here?”

She laughed half-heartedly. “I think you know.”

“You’re not,” he motioned over his shoulder with his thumb, “you’re not here to bail him out, are you?”

“You want me to just let him sit in there?” she asked with a small smile.

“I think you know,” he turned his words right back onto her.

She laughed again, this time a little more genuinely. “David.”

He was smiling before he even realized it. One simple utterance of his name from her and suddenly he felt like he was right back in high school all over again. She always said it the same way, that note of softness that he didn’t hear from anyone else. Even back then. And now, when everyone in Charming had taken to calling him by his last name, and usually with no hint of softness whatsoever, it landed a little harder.

He knew he was too late to stop himself from getting side-tracked with the thoughts of it all, of her, but he still tried to distract himself by dealing with the situation at hand. “Let someone else babysit him for the night.”

She rolled her eyes, still smiling. “I’m not his babysitter. I’m…” she trailed off for a moment, amusement dropping from her face for a moment before she tried to recover, “his emergency contact, apparently.”

“Tara.”

He didn’t have to say anything else. Letting her head drop back, she sighed. “I know.”

“Jax is a big boy—he’ll be fine for one night.”

“You’re enjoying that, aren’t you?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

“You should try enjoying it too,” he suggested with a slight grin. There was a beat of a pause as they both chuckled before he got the courage to just ask, “You two…?” He wanted to finish the sentence but he couldn’t, mostly because he was afraid of the possible answers.

She shook her head. “No. We’re…that’s…no.”

“Right.”

It all felt so similar. Hale wasn’t sure how much he bought into the notion of deja vu, but something about standing there with Tara gave him a feeling that was about as close to that as he could imagine. There were a lot of years and changes between who they were now, and who they were back in high school, sure. But some things clearly hadn’t changed. Tara came back and suddenly old routines were kicking up again—her trying to clean up after Jax, Hale trying to get her to stop. The longer he stood there and looked at her, the more he realized that old habits were accompanied by old feelings. That sense of pining settling into his chest again—it didn’t feel any less hopeless now than it had then. Back then it had always been her looking at Jax, Hale looking at her. He had to hope that some things could be different now, though. That maybe he had a shot now that he hadn’t back then.

“You should go,” he said, firm enough to not sound quite like a plea even though it was one.

She sighed, nodding. “Maybe.”

He saw the slightly lost look on her face and frowned for a moment. Resting his hands on his belt, he said, “You remember, what was it, sophomore year?”

She raised her eyebrows slightly, but there was a hint of a smile on her face. “It’s all a bit of a blur—you’ll have to be more specific.”

Hale chuckled. “Halloween, sophomore year. All of us were supposed to be going to—”

Recognition flashed across her face. “The haunted house.”

He nodded, smiling. “The haunted house, yeah. We were about to head in when a bunch of their friends came by and pulled them away.”

Her laugh turned into a scoff. “To go and egg houses.”

Hale nodded again. “Right.”

Tara gestured towards the police station. “I think this is where they ended up that night too.”

He laughed. “Probably.”

“I was so mad.”

He laughed a little harder. “I remember.”

“That wasn’t a bad night, though.” She crossed her arms over her chest, smiling as it all came back. “We went to the diner, right? Ate our body weights in breakfast for dinner.”

“Yeah,” he said, the grin on his face coming a little more easily now, less guilt behind it.

There was a pause. Tara was waiting to see if Hale was going to get into his Jeep, and Hale was waiting to see if she was going to do what she’d originally shown up to do and go into the station to bail out Jax and probably Opie too. That was the position they were always left in, always waiting for the other to do or say something more. If only either of them had ever figured out what the other was thinking.

Reaching back into her purse, Tara pulled out her car keys. When she looked back at Hale, she smiled, looking a little less tired than she had a few minutes before as she asked, “Are you busy right now?”

He shook his head, caught between feeling relief and excitement at the question. “Was just about to head home.”

She motioned towards her car. “Wanna go eat? Bet the diner still does breakfast for dinner.”

He nodded without hesitation. “Absolutely.” He chuckled. “Think I’ll get a discount if I tell them the uniform is a costume?”

Tara laughed. “Should’ve worn my scrubs.” She shook her head with another laugh before saying, “I’ll meet you there?”

“Yeah, yeah that sounds good.”

[kettlequills]

I think about Chucky surviving that night he was shot, but being obviously injured, unmasked, and now on the run. Tiffany and Eddie locking eyes across his sweating pale body in some crummy hotel as far away as they can get from Chicago in one sleepless night - it's harder to hate him when they both love him, and he's vulnerable and irascible and a dickhead and he still might die, but slowly and painfully and in your arms this time, so how can you just Leave, how can you begrudge him anything, but God you've never hated him more, this man you love so fucking passionately you want to ruin him like he's ruined you, wrapped around his fingers and stumbling over yourself when he says "jump" - and they're both full of suspicion, because no one has all the pieces of the puzzle. No one knows how the cops have enough info to ID Chucky, but they're all guilty of little betrayals that have added up and up until the net has fallen through and he was exposed.

Tiffany and Eddie have always had a contentious relationship, both jealous and possessive of the little scraps of the sunlight of Chucky's fickle attention they can claim, insecure and never quite satisfied, resentful of the hold the other has... But now they both know they have betrayed him themselves, and they're anxious to deflect the blame, and suspicious that the other was the REAL reason he ended up caught that night, because otherwise it means that their little, spiteful, stupid rebellion against him (moving the van when the cops came, calling them with an anonymous tip) that was only supposed to punish him a little and wasn't thought out or anything, actually nearly killed him. God, it's so horribly real, that they nearly lost him, when he's sweating through his bloody bandages and cursing them out, diminished and not even trying, anymore, to twitch manfully away from Tiffany's nails carding through his limp hair, or Eddie's arm broad across his shoulders, half-holding him up, half just holding him.

And if he was gone, they'd be responsible for losing the man they hate and love most in the world. Chucky, naturally, is playing them off against each other, revelling in their dedication and loyalty to him and their hatred of the other as he always has, how it makes Tiffany's kisses hungrier and more desperate when he leaves her alone to go booze with Eddie, dodging her texts and calls, how it makes Eddie more agreeable and pliable to his whims when he ignores him for days to fuck his girlfriend and brag about what Tiffany can do for him that Eddie can't. Because Tiffany can never be the man Chucky's commanded nearly all his life, his best friend and his first follower, and Eddie can never be the electric thrill of a woman who understands him, who wants him, who offers her body up heart and soul for him, who kills just as naturally and hungrily as he does, and he's been holding that over them both for as long as they love him - you'll never be enough, but try harder and maybe you'll interest me enough to stay, it's a competition and you're losing, so stay on your game.

And this is the slow boiling powder keg, into which the revelation that Chucky, too, betrayed them both by stealing Sarah, that neither of them was ever enough for him, is dropped like a lit match...

Anyway, the toxic threesome in shitty hotel number 4 on the way from Chicago to anywhere the cops won't find them would be insane is all I'm saying.

[nysocboy]

Agatha All Along: Gay teen and witch trapped in a bad tv-show world

Agatha All Along appeared without warning on my Disney Plus page, showing two elderly women and a teenager on a dark wilderness road.  The teenager is Joe Locke, who played a gay character in Heartstopper, and came out in real life twice, at age 12 and 15, so no doubt he plays a gay character here.  I'm not even going to bother with preliminary research.

Scene 1: An elderly woman, maybe Agatha, driving to a crime scene: she's a small town cop suspended for punching a suspect,  but called back for a case only she can work on -- a woman has been found dead in the woods.  Why is it always a woman, never a man?  

Crushed by a heavy object, no id except for one of those old library check-out cards. 

Scene 2:Wait -- her name is Agnes, not Agatha, so who is "all along"?  

She goes to the library, where there's a long line to check out books. Have you been to a library lately?   She cuts -- "Only suckers wait their turn" -- to ask the sarcastic librarian Miss Jones about the check-out card found on the victim.

Miss Jones: "Ooh, is she dead?"

Agnes: "Why do you assume it was a woman?"  Because it's always a woman, nitwit.

Miss Jones: "It's more tit-ilating." Boob joke, har har.

They don't use old-fashioned check-out cards anymore.  The book -- Dialogue and Rhetoric: Known History of Learning & Debate, was marked stolen three years ago.  But there are lots of other copies in Natural Sciences.  Not in English?.

Agnes hits the stacks, and there were indeed a dozen copies -- all burnt up. "There was a fire," a mysterious man whispers.  Odd that Miss Jones didn't know that.

Scene 3: At the station, the Chief is played by David Lengel, who looks like Ross from Friends with a porn stash.  

The body shows traces of "a particular microbial sediment found only in Eastern Europe."  That makes no sense.  The woman was killed across the ocean and transported to their quiet New England town. 

Scene 4: In other news, Agnes has to work with the snarky Federal Agent Vidal, whom she hates.  To be fair, Agnes hates everyone.  They may be ex-lovers: Agnes thinks that she requested the assignment just so they could get back together.

Ex-Lover notes that there are no drag marks on the soil, nothing disturbed: the body just got zapped there, as if by magic! 

Agnes scoffs."In stories about small-town murders, it's always about the hidden secrets of the townsfolk, so let's investigate those."

Scene 5: Norm the pawn shop guy,  played by Asif Ali,  is examining a cameo locket that Agnes brought in: New England, late 17th century, with a lock of hair inside.  He offers $200. 

She just wanted an expert opinion so she could sell it on ebay, har har.  Agnes is rather a jerk, isn't she?

Scene 6: Late at night, Agnes is fiddling around at the station.  She discovers that the first letters of the book's title spell DARKH.   So?

Later, in her huge "TV middle class" house, Agnes goes into a child's bedroom with a teddy bear on the bed and drawings on the table, and music awards: "Nicholas Scratch, First Place." Dead kid?  But Nick and Scratch are both names for the Devil.

Scene 7: Knock on the door: It's the Ex-Girlfriend, with pizza!  Isn't it, like, the middle of the night?

Agnes has a lead: car crash in the town of Eastview an hour before the body was found. Ex-Girlfriend wants to know if she's ever been to Eastview.  "Sure, I'm a world traveler."  Wait...it dawns on Agnes that she's never actually left town.  How is that possible?  

Next Ex-Girlfriend asks "Do you remember why you hate me?"  "No."  It's like it was written into the script, with no back story.  Something is wrong here.

They're interrupted by a clattering -- an intruder in her bedroom, going through her stuff!  She chases him out onto the roof, down a gutter, and through the deserted streets, until Debra Jo Rupp, Grandma Kitty on That 90s Show, accidentally hits him.

Scene 8: The perp is a teenager, played by Joe Locke.  He's sarcastic and insulting, leading Agnes to kick him -- that's what got you suspended, Girl.  Finally he admits that he broke in to look for the Road. 

Agnes thinks he means the road to the murder site, so he's a suspect!  "What you were doing last night between 1 and 3 am?"  "Asleep in bed." "Loser!"  Wait -- being asleep in the middle of the night makes you a loser? 

She pulls out pictures of the murdered woman to confront him with, but suddenly they turn into pictures of flowers on someone's front lawn!   He starts chanting in Latin....and now her Ex-Girlfriend has vanished!  There never was a murder, so of course she would not have been called in.

Scene 9: Agnes visits the coroner's office  -- no body.  Until one appears, with a check-out card instead of a toe-tag, and the last person who checked the book out was Wanda Maximoff!  Agnes is shocked!

Who the heck is Wanda Maximoff?  Answers and nekkid men after the break

Agnes figures out the truth, but the viewer won't without research. It's a slog, so here's a random photo of Mike Guzman to keep your spirits up.

Wanda Maximoff is the Scarlet Witch in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  In the earlier series Wandavision, powerful witch Agatha Harkness zapped her memory and trapped her in a small town sitcom world. Townsfolk played various characters, and she herself dropped in as the Wacky Next Door Neighbor. 

At the end of the series, Wanda regained her memory, and for punishment, trapped Agatha in the small-town world, with her powers gone, forced to live through various badly-written tv show plotlines.

Ex-Girlfriend notes that Wanda is dead, and all of the copies of the magic book Darkhold went with her, so now there's no way out.

Scene 10: Uh-oh, the story is shifting.  Agnes turns into a 1980s jiggle-show aerobics instructor, then a 1950s sitcom housewife, then a 1990s liberated woman -- ugh, she's naked. The former police chief, sarcastic librarian, and coworker Herb are now her neighbors.  They say that she hasn't been herself for a few days, acting like a small town cop instead of a liberated woman.

She remembers that she is Agatha, but her magic powers are gone.... 

Muffled screams from upstairs -- it's the Teen, tied up in the closet.  So in this plotline she kidnapped him.  

Ex-Girlfriend appears to kill Agatha.  They sexy-fight, the homoerotic tension dripping from every lick.

More research: Ex-Girlfriend is Rio Vidal, a former member of Agatha's coven, but Agatha found the Darkhold book and betrayed her, keeping all of the magic for herself.  Now she's out for revenge.

Agatha suggests that it wouldn't be fun to kill her now, when she's lost her powers.  Wait until she gets them back, to make the fight more interesting.

Ex-Girlfriend agrees, but warns Agatha that the Salem Seven also want her dead, and so...

She leaves.  The Teen is still in the closet.  The end.

Beefcake: None.  This is a very-women centered show. The IMDB doesn't list the whole cast, so I had to sit through five minutes of executive producers to get a cast list. And that only lists five men: Joe Locke, David Payton, David Lengel, Asif Ali, and Amos Glick. 

Gay Characters:  Agatha and Vidal act very much like ex-lovers.  The Teen turns out to be gay, and in a later episode he gets a boyfriend, played by Miles Gutierrez-Riley, left and below. Miles also played a gay character on The Wilds.

Heterosexism: None.

The full review, with nude photos, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

[dancedance-resolution]

hmm

my cousin’s kid is in his first year of middle school (age 13) and he was telling me how a kid called his gay friend a fag. also at another point during an assembly about gender diversity a large amount of students chanted “fuck the gays” for over a minute…. he goes to school in an extremely blue area, i mean blue enough for there to be an assembly for the middle schoolers on what pronouns are and that you should refer to someone with whatever pronouns they want without questioning them or telling them they’re wrong. so idk how i feel or what i take away from this. i told him i think most of those kids don’t actually feel that way; they just thought chanting like that was a way to get attention and that’s what they wanted.

i know he’s getting bullied for being skinny and short and autistic (though they don’t know he’s autistic they just bully him for the traits) and he told his mom he needs to quit horse back riding bc the kids bully him for it. as much hell as i went through in my school years im very glad i didn’t undergo that. his younger sister seems to be doing much better socially and have a lot more friends but again she isn’t in middle school yet.

i hope my cousin has told him i’m gay. i don’t think she has bc she’s socially conscious and probably understands what outing is and doesn’t want to do it. i kind of wish id mentioned im gay when he was telling me and his friend about the shit at school. i just didn’t know how to say it without making a big deal out of it , and i know queerness isn’t a big deal to him since he mentioned having a gay friend so casually.

even though im in my 20s i feel way too young to be bringing a significant other/partner to a family gathering. i am the youngest of the cousins on my dads side so even though my cousins’ kids are now the babies in the family, i still feel like a baby in the family. like my job is childcare at family events, not hanging around the adults. it would be nice to bring a girl and get it over with though. esp if i know the p cousins will be there - i know their piece of shit cop bio father (and possibly the step dad + mom) has made them homophobic, so i want the girls especially to meet a gay person in real life and realize that we’re okay and normal. (this is the cousins who the eldest had an internship with PRAGER U recently, but he seems to respect his father for some reason so idfk).

the current girl would be a good candidate since she’s smart and accomplished as fuck but i don’t trust the r cousins to not be fatphobic.

i am worried the 13-year-olds close friend might be a tad bit religiously homophobic 

[justanotherrpmeme]

Criminal sentences

"I've got a foolproof plan to pull off the biggest heist this city has ever seen." "Don't worry, I've got connections. We'll be able to fence these stolen goods easily." "We need to lay low for a while. The cops are hot on our trail." "I never thought I'd end up in a life of crime, but desperate times call for desperate measures." "We need a getaway vehicle that can outrun anything the police throw at us." "I've been studying the security system for weeks. We know every blind spot." "If anyone talks, we make sure they never talk again. Got it?" "The boss wants this job done clean. No casualties, unless absolutely necessary." "The code to the safe is a closely guarded secret. We need to find a way to crack it." "I can't believe we're actually doing this. Are you sure we won't get caught?" "I've bribed the guard. He'll look the other way when we make our move." "We need a hacker who can bypass the alarm system. Any leads?" "We're not just stealing money; we're taking back what's rightfully ours." "The police won't suspect a thing if we make it look like an inside job." "We've got a snitch in our midst. We need to find out who it is and take care of them." "No one can know our real identities. We're ghosts in the criminal underworld." "This job could set us up for life. We just have to be patient and execute it perfectly." "I've got a contact who can create fake IDs and passports. We'll be untraceable." "We need an escape plan in case things go south. No room for mistakes." "If we stick together, we can get through anything. Trust is the most valuable currency." "The mark is a powerful and dangerous man. We need to be careful not to cross him." "I've stashed the loot in a secret location. No one will ever find it." "The underworld is a treacherous place. Watch your back at all times." "The heist went off without a hitch. Now it's time to disappear into the shadows." "Remember, no one can know what we've done. Our lives depend on it."

[aizenat]

@aquad0ll respectfully, this is what is called building a narrative, and I’m really disappointed to see you fall for this.

James was 20/JUST TURNING 21 at the OLDEST at these incidents. At 20, it is not predatory or weird to date a 18/19 year old. In his video (I watched it at the time it came out, so idk why you sent me this article like I wasn’t following that situation), he said that he did not know they were minors when he started talking to them. And when he found out their ages, HE STOPPED TALKING TO THEM. What predator you know does that? Most predators I know/have heard of only back off if they either get the shit beat out of them, or the cops get involved.

I watched the videos of the one boy in particular when he was first making videos. He admits to lying about his age, and also admits that every time James pulled away (due to thinking he was uninterested), he’d purposely pulled James back. Minors are bad at making smart decisions, which is why we didn’t blame them for shit like this (like, sorry, teenagers lie all the goddamn time. I did, you did, we all fucking did. And if you (general you since i have to specify that so ppl don’t take shit personally) didn’t, you were probably a loser with no life who didn’t have a reason to lie lol). BUT James Charles was an emerging adult whose prefrontal cortex wasn’t fully developed either. If he was a regular kid, he would have been sexting from his family home bedroom (or college dorm at best) just like that 16 year old who was posting thirst trap pictures on Snapchat behind his parents back (because I was doing inappropriate shit on the family computer behind my family’s back at that age too like bruh).

I don’t understand how James, at 20 and obviously new to flirting and dating, ESPECIALLY AS A HYPER VISIBLE GAY CELEB, was supposed to know the kid was lying about his age. In the video, he says he didn’t think to make the kid show his id or something UNTIL the backlash. Which, yeah, I sure as hell wouldn’t think to do that either. And not for nothing, even as an adult, if someone asked me to do that to prove my age who wasn’t selling me alcohol or weed, I’d be like hell no! I ain’t showing my fucking id to someone online! The fuck! Like even asking that online sounds crazy ngl. He was a kid his own damn self with no real life experience hanging around kids his age who, due to their lack of fame and/or heterosexuality, wouldn’t have thought of it either! Like of course he didn’t think of it. He didn’t think he was doing anything wrong!

And as soon as he realized he did, he bailed! What more was he supposed to do? He said he wasn’t into older guys; he had to develop a daddy kink just to make sure the dudes he was fucking weren’t minors? He wasn’t allowed to look for young guys around his age that he could relate to? Like honestly, what was the expectation? Truly? What more could he do? He asked, the kid lied but he took him at his word, and then dropped the kid when he learned the truth. What more should he have done?

The hyper diligence is unfair and unrealistic. He’s not Leonardo DiCaprio looking at an 18 year old: he was in the age range where dating an 18 year old was not rare and he wanted to date kids his age. But he’s a groomer because the kids lied to him about their ages? He’s a predator for wanting to date kids around his age? What? College age kids date all the time despite meh age gaps. Before I realized I was a lesbian (actually don’t know how I didn’t realize it with him but lol), I was seeing and making out with a guy who was a 22 year old senior when I was 18. And that was after I stole him from another 18 year old girl I didn’t like (18 year old me didn’t give a fuck lol). And he went and dated another 22 year old senior after I dumped him! He wasn’t looking only for “young” girls to take advantage of! We were on a college campus and so it was common for us to all date each other despite the age gaps because we were “all adults.” And for the most part, we all had similar lifestyles.

Like if you can explain to me exactly how this isn’t “how dare a gay man talk to men, that’s grooming/predatory” 1970s anti gay/conversion therapy propaganda, I may listen. Yall act like he was 25 looking for hs boys to date and when he found out they were younger was like “score! Okay, lemme see how far I can take this.” No! He didn’t do that at all! So how is he a predator?

Like I’m not even being sassy or anything; please explain it to me? How thinking a boy was 2, MAYBE 3 years younger than him, was him praying on minors? Or is that the narrative spun around him thanks to a homophobic 40 year old YouTuber who couldn’t stand watching a then 18-20 year old James Charles speak openly about his sexual attraction to men? How is walking away when he realizes they’re minors means he was grooming them? Like what am I missing? Truly?

But, and this was what spurred my op: HOW DOES HIS NUDES GETTING LEAKED “CONFIRM” HE’S A “PREDATOR?”

Like if I’m truly missing something, sure tell me. But all I’ve ever seen is people just buying into the narrative being spread about him uncritically. And I’ve yet to see anyone make a solid case that James was/is anything but a hyper online gay kid who was struggling to find someone his age truly into him and not clout chasing/interested in him for his fame and money. He was at a level of wealth and success that most kids his age would never have, trying to date kids his age who wouldn’t have had college degrees yet let alone careers and their own place/independent lifestyle. Kid was lonely and then was vilified for trying to look for someone (after a lifetime of watching friends date but being unable to do himself; in that very video in the article, JAMES ADMITS TO BEING A VIRGIN!).

I just can’t see how this is anything other than a narrative being spun about him that James Charles took and ran with. Maybe I’m missing something, but I’ve yet to see the argument made against him that didn’t feel very Britney Spears-esque in the leaps of logic and expectations place on him.

[rainbowonice]

writing down all my problems with this episode to heal my soul and release my inner hater self:

Athena pestering Amir and abusing her power as a cop once again without repercussions

the narrative using Amir, a man that lost his wife in a terrible fire and got literally scarred for life, as a red herring MULTIPLE times literally leave him alone he did nothing to deserve this

Eddie's parents character regression, Helena SMILING the whole time and Ramon saying that Shannon is "even in death that woman is making his life a chaos” like? neither he or Chris ever got over her and Kim made it 100 times worse and they didn't fix it or address how Shannon death affected them, Eddie is still romanticising her, his family is still vilanizing her and we have no idea what Chris thinks even if that should have been where the story was taking us, them finally having a real talk about Shannon, instead they made Chris run away.

daddy kink joke i already made a post about this but id like to add that daddy issues ≠ daddy kink and that making them equal is gross and is harmful having parental issues shouldn't be a sexual thing.

cartel not cartel thing taking up 40% of the episode for literally no reason and i already made a post on how racist that whole plot is

Bobby dying for 14 minutes and then being ok by THE END OF THE DAY and then 2 WEEKS LATER coming in at work without telling it to anyone else and without even taking away his retirement request??????

the zero stakes regarding Bobby's life the team looking unfazed, no one was crying, no one was really worried and at the end of the day we even got Buck having a dinner date wearing the same shirt he has been wearing THE WHOLE DAY (I'm not letting this slide I'm sorry that's my new roman empire) like ok i thought that we were a family lmao?

Bobby suicidal thought are healed ig now sure

Madney taking temporary custody of Mara first of all a quick google search told me it takes "after you complete your training, it usually takes about three to four months" and they did it in like a week help and the whole narrative is just lesbianphobia. Henren can't get a single family story without it ending with the kid taken away or the kid thinking that two mothers aren't enough there is a need of a dad... while is a cute scene or whatever it reeks of cishet couple does it better and without struggle while the black lesbians have to struggle and beg.

that old fart coming back he's 200 years old at best what the fuck a cold will take him out prince Philip looked better 2 days before perishing be real how is he supposed to be a threat? Just sneeze near him GOD

the episode overall was predictable af and honestly boring it fell flat and the screentime Amir got was CRAZY they cut so many scenes they cut a whole Eddie and Chris scene of them crying in Chris room (what was the context we will never know rip) just to get 100 scenes of the cartel, the ugliest date scene you've ever experienced in your life and Athena neighbour from 4 doors down.

this season was The Worst season they ever made even worse than season 1 and 6 and you guys have no idea how much i hate them. It was a whole mess rushed, dumb, badly written, badly executed, wasted time on useless scenes and cut away too much, they didn't had a single normal call, they didn't had a single fire engine scene, they all looked disconnected and it legit made no sense not even the actors liked it.