mininiamh

[squeeb-art]

This meme except I get to choose the characters to smash my art block. Fun game, tell me what you think what I’m like (for better or for worse) based on these guys.

Friend-endorsed: "I don't know nausicaa or roxy but the rest are very accurate i think"

[steventhusiast]

STWG daily prompt 3/12/23

prompt: "what the hell happened to you?"

pairing/character(s): steddie

-

Eddie hasn't heard from Steve for forty eight hours when the phone rings, and he jumps for it. He hopes (and maybe prays to the god he doesn't believe in) that it's Steve. That he just... Fell asleep when he got home from his shift at Scoops and that's why he didn't call when he got home two days ago. That he got distracted by the kids the next morning and that's why he didn't call Eddie one day ago.

"Hello?" He says into the phone, trying not to sound too frantic.

But as soon as he finds out who's calling, a rock settles in his stomach.

"This is Hawkins General Hospital, am I speaking with Wayne Munson?"

He's silent for a moment. Fuck. Something's happened to Steve. He debates lying, because Wayne left for work literally five minutes ago, and he needs to know what happened, and what if Steve's dead?-

"No. This is Eddie Munson, ma'am, Wayne just left for work. Is- Is everything okay?" He closes his eyes as he speaks, tips his head forward to lightly bang it against the wall of the trailer. Why didn't he just lie? Now they're never going to tell him.

"Alright, one moment.." The lady on the phone says, and Eddie hears some papers rustling and then a sigh, "Oh, Edward Munson?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"You're listed as another emergency contact, so I can tell you this as well." Eddie breathes out a sigh of relief, but feels tears start to well up as he imagines what she's about to say.

"This is in regards to Steven Harrington, who is alive and stable but quite badly injured. That's all I can say over the phone. Before he can be discharged, if his next of kin don't respond, we'll need to talk through patient care with you or Wayne Munson, alright?"

"Yes I- He can have visitors, right?" He's already looking frantically around the room to see where the keys to his van are.

"Yes. Visiting hours don't end for another two hours yet."

Eddie's never hung up a phone so fast.

-

When he finally gets to Steve's room (after an argument with the receptionist who was hesitant to give him the room number), he practically throws open the door in his haste, and is... Surprised at the amount of people in the room.

He's zeroed in on Steve before he properly registers them though. As soon as he processes the state of his boyfriend, everyone else in the room practically disappear from his mind.

"Oh, Stevie." He whispers, walking over to the bed.

Steve seems to be either asleep or passed out, and he looks.. Horrible. One eye is swollen shut, there's a bandage over his nose like it's broken, and his bottom lip is swollen with a (freshly stitched up) wound trailing down from it an inch or so. And that's just his face-- Eddie can't even see the rest of him right now.

"What the hell happened to you?" He mumbles to himself, hesitantly reaching out to rest a hand on Steve's forearm.

It's then that he's rudely reminded of the presence of others in the room.

"More like what the hell is Eddie Munson doing in Steve Harrington's hospital room?" A familiar voice asks, and he turns to see Robin Buckley sat at Steve's side. A little more turning around and he sees Dustin, who he recognises from pictures, and a little girl who can't be older than ten.

Robin looks confused and suspicious, and like she's about to interrogate him until she sees the genuine distress (and tears) in his eyes. She softens a little, and lets Eddie ask what he's been dying to ask for over forty eight hours now.

"Is he okay?" He sniffles harshly in attempt to get rid of the waver in his voice.

"He will be. Pretty bad concussion though, and- No, wait. Seriously, why are you here?"

Eddie's about to make something up, when Steve rouses with a groan. Everyone's quiet as he squints open his good eye and groans some more at the lights.

"Wha's- Wha's goin' on?" He slurs, and Eddie feels the tears return. Steve sounds as fucked up as he looks, and- shit, Robin said concussion? Steve's already had one too many of those.

"Hey, it's okay Stevie. You know where you are?" Eddie asks gently, opting to ignore everyone else once again if they're going to stay quiet.

"Eds?" Steve's face scrunches up in a way that looks painful, and he slowly looks over in Eddie's direction with eyes that are definitely too dilated.

Eddie starts rubbing his thumb back and forth where he's still gently resting a hand on Steve's forearm. He hopes it's comforting rather than adding to Steve's pain.

"Yeah, I'm here. I got you, sweetheart."

read part 2 here

[mrs-barnes-rogers-writes]

Pretty As A Picture - Chapter 10

Marvel

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes

Theme: Soulmates - Feeling the connection as soon as you see each other.

Summary: When Bucky fell from the train, their soulmate was told he was gone. When Steve Rogers disappeared into the ice, their soulmate was again told one of her soulmates were gone. But she didn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. Committed to a mental health institute, she dies of a broken heart. That's at least what the hidden S.H.I.E.LD files say, but if that's the case than why is there a photo of her. A photo that shows her side by side two redhaired Avengers.

Warnings will be per chapter.

For this fic reader will be British, but let your imagination replace if needed.

Chapter Summary: The reader wakes up.

Chapter Warning: Mentions of hospital care.

“So, I’m gonna make it really clear, you’re going to have your work cut out with her. She’s stubborn, a know it all, unfortunately because she does know it all, photographic memory and all that, the situations she sometimes gets herself in aren’t always great but she always and I mean always has a way out. She doesn’t eat right. Her sleep pattern is worse than a teething toddler and believe me I know” He said looking down at Nathanial in his arms, “but she is fiercely loyal, if you call her for anything, she could be having tea with a royal and she’d drop everything to save your ass or in Laura’s case so you can have a shower without a screaming child and take a nap in peace. She’ll hold you through your nightmares, be your biggest supporter and snap a guys neck if they’ve hurt you. She feels all her emotions at ten times the level we do. Sometimes that’s great, sometimes it’s really not. Now, I’m gonna ask you, don’t pursue this unless you’re sure. Please.”

“She’s our soulmate Clint, there’s no way we aren’t pursuing this.” Replied Steve.

“I know she’s your soulmate but….”

“But what?” Asked Bucky.

“She sometimes, well it’s not my place to say.”

Steve and Bucky both huffed in response. They’d been sick of those words over the last few days. When you’d gripped the bed rail and bent it right in front of them it was clear you were different in some way. Match that with carrying Pietro like you did, Steve and Bucky were sure you were like them. A super soldier.

When Helen Cho entered the room after you’d been sedated, and spoke quietly to Bruce as they set up the cradle, they didn’t miss Bruce’s whispered “accelerated healing” or the mention of having to possibly rebreak some of your bones as they’d have already have set wrong. When they asked Bruce the response was “it’s not my place to say”. The same words were uttered when Steve asked Natasha why her and Clint were her emergency contacts and next of kin.

“You know I’m sick of hearing those words.” Steve told Clint.

“You know what fine, fuck it, yes I know language in front of the baby. He’s heard worse. Natasha and Y/N are his godmothers, he probably knows the f bomb in six different languages already. Look she struggles with the whole soul mate thing.”

Bucky’s head snapped up.

“How so?” Asked Steve.

Before Clint had chance to answer you groaned from the bed, causing the three men to jump to their feet, Nathanial jostling in Clint’s arms.

“Lightsssss, bright light, bright light.” You groaned, squeezing your eyes tightly.

“Shit, I forgot, F.R.I.D.A.Y dim the lights.” Clint instructed. “Good morning you little gremlin.”

“Gremlin?” Steve asked. “Sweetheart can you hear us?”

“It’s from a movie.” Bucky answered “Don’t put it on your damn list, it’s awful. Babydoll?”

“It is not. It’s a cult piece.” Clint replied.

“Whatever. Doll, can you hear us?”

You groaned again and muttered Clint’s name. He pushed past Steve and handed him a wiggling Nathanial, squeezing your hand and stroking your face affectionately. Bucky wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“Hey kid, I’m here, open your eyes, you’ve had us all worried. Laura’s even started knitting again, you know how she hates it, only does it to keep herself busy, and don’t get me started on Natasha. I thought we’d have to sedate her at one point.”

“Natty.” You replied as your eyes started to flicker open.

“She’s upstairs, probably already on her way down.”

Bucky huffed. He didn’t want everyone in here. He wanted to speak to you, hold you, take care of you, figure out how the hell you were here. You started to look around, still squinting, jumping when you saw you were in the Med Bay.

“Easy kid. You’re in the compound Med Bay. You've been out for three days.”

You started to fidget in the bed.

“Y/N, listen.” and he gently cupped your jaw, moving your face to look at him. “You’re gonna be OK kid, you scared the shit out of us all, but you’ll be OK. You’re in the compound. Only Banner and Cho have looked at you. OK?”

You nodded in reply, your eyes full of tears. Clint kissed your forehead.

“Pietro? Did he? Is he?”

“He’s alive. See?” Clint stood upright and pointed to the next room in the bay. You followed his pointing to see you were separated by a glass wall but sure enough there was Pietro. Wanda and Vision at his bedside. He waved weakly at you and you attempted to wave back.

“Careful sweetheart.” You glanced up at the voice, meeting Steve’s eyes. “Hi honey.”

Spotting baby Nathanial in his arms, you reached out and made a gesture for Steve to pass him to you.

“Gimme.”

“Y/N,” Clint said as he perched on the bed “really?”

“Baby, gimme please.” You looked up at Steve with puppy eyes, who realised he immediately had no defence against your sad face and he turned to Clint, not knowing what to do. You pushed out your bottom lip for added effect and looked back at Clint.

“Fine, but you’re gonna need to sit up a little. Clint replied, before gathering up some pillows.

You tried to push yourself up as much as possible and Bucky silently tried to help. Why were you ignoring them? Clint moved around to the side of the bed Bucky was at and placed a pillow under your arm, saying something about it being the best side as your drip was gone, before whispering to you.

“Maybe stop being a brat and acknowledge your soulmates.”

You shifted uneasily and glanced at Clint as he gave you a knowing look, before he gestured at Steve to come around with Nathanial.

“Hello.” You said quietly, not making eye contact.

“Babydoll” “Sweetheart.”

Bucky placed a kiss on your head as you side eyed him.

“Is this a good idea?” Steve asked as Nathanial wiggled in his arms some more. “You said yourself how unsettled he is.”

“Just watch.” Clint laid Nathanial in the crook of your arm, making sure the pillow took most the weight. Nathanial snuggled into you, taking out his pacifier to give you a drool filled grin.

“Hi baby.” You said softly. Nathanial snuggled down more and closed his eyes, gripping on to the blanket Clint had placed over him.

The three watched you fondly as Nathanial drifted off to sleep, as you stroked his face affectionately. Bucky and Steve both felt a lump form in their throat as they watched. Thoughts of what could have been and what could be filling their heads. White picket fences seemed so far away now but there was something about you, their soulmate, with a baby in her arms.

Clint slipped back discreetly from between the two and moved to the other side of the bed. Spotting Natasha and Bruce hurrying down the corridor he gestured for them to slow down and wait, nodding back at Steve and Bucky. Steve slipped his arm around Bucky’s shoulder and Bucky mirrored his actions in return.

“We got her back bud.”

Bucky went to speak but let out a sob instead, as tears began to run down his face. Steve pulled him into a hug. You side eyed them not really knowing what to do. Clint noticed your uncomfortableness and squeezed your hand affectionately as tears formed in your eyes. You leaned back into the pillows, shaking your head.

“It doesn’t make any sense.” You almost whispered. “I can’t be their soulmate.”

Enjoy this fic? Fancy a cuppa? My Ko-Fi.

TAGLIST

@abaker74 @animegirlgeeky @calwitch @slowlyshycomputer @paasrin @cjand10 @otterlycanadian

[mactavsh]

Watching Over

Synopsis: Price tries to keep you awake while captured.

Relationships: Father Figure!Captain John Price x Female Reader, John “Soap” MacTavish x Female Reader

Word Count: 1.5K

Warnings: violence, swearing, mentions of blood/injuries

Note: Debated posting this one because it is quite self serving, but maybe someone else needs their fictional father figure to tell them they're proud of them too. The title was inspired from this song.

Masterlist

If it was an Intel mission that required a certain level of finesse, Laswell always knew who to send. You and Captain Price worked seamlessly after the many years of training he'd given you. He scouted you early on in your career quickly becoming a mentor in your eyes. He had also easily fallen into a paternal role, unbeknownst to him. 

However, Laswell knew how Price had a habit of adopting kids. As a joke, she kept a running list of his “next of kin”. It started with you and has grown over the years to include Gaz, Soap and Ghost. 

The mission required the two of you to go completely dark, Laswell was sending you to Mexico at the behest of Alejandro. You would both have to be in zero contact until the mission was complete. You both understood the gravity of the situation - there would be no backup.

You were given a month to track down an emerging cartel that was responsible for a rise in weapons trading. Los Vaqueros couldn’t yet make a move against them so Alejandro reached out to Laswell and Price for assistance. 

When you landed in Mexico you had a brief meeting with Alejandro and Rodolfo to learn what they knew. After that you and Captain Price set out to see what you could find. By then end of your first week you had figured out the names of the higher ups and the locations of a few meeting spots.

However, when you had gone to infiltrate the meeting, there were more men than expected. The two of you certainly made quite a dent in their numbers but were eventually overpowered. You had been knocked out by someone who snuck up behind you. Price heard you fall and was distracted just long enough for someone to sneak up behind him, subsequently knocking him out next.

When you woke up you were both chained to metal chairs. You were situated on opposite sides of the room but facing each other. The cold metal dug painfully into your ribs with every breath. There were no windows, no way to tell how long you had been there.

Hours blurred into days then weeks. The daily torture had worn the both of you down. They gave you just enough food to keep you alive and looking at how Price’s features had grown sunken in you assumed yours had as well. 

They had learned early on the dynamic between you two as much as you both tried to remain stoic, so they focused their torture on you hoping it would get Price to talk. What they didn't realize was that both Price and you would sooner die than tell them anything.

You were sure the check-in date Laswell had set had long since passed and you could only imagine the hell Soap, the 141, and Los Vaqueros were raising trying to find out what happened. 

Your captors had just left after another bout of torture trying to get information out of both of you. Bruises began blooming on Price’s bare chest, emerging blue and red tones mixed with already yellow spots. Your arms sported new deep gashes atop barely healed scar tissue. Blood slowly trickled down your arms as your chest heaved. Your mind was dizzy from the pain and it was taking everything in you to stay awake.

“Stay with me, kid.” Price spoke from the other side of the room voice even and calm as it always was.

“I refuse to die at the hands of some random fuckin’ cartel member.” Your voice was firm despite the exhaustion you felt.

“That's my girl.” Price's chest swelled with pride that turned to worry as your head lolled downward. “Tell me about why you joined.”

You groaned and slowly brought your head back up to squint over at him. “Haven't I already?”

“You like to call me an old man.” He smirked, ”I forgot, tell me again.”

You huffed, if your brain wasn’t so foggy you would have immediately realized it was a tactic to keep you awake. “My dad served, his dad served, felt like I had to keep the legacy going. My grandfather also said I’d never outrank him so I had to prove him wrong.”

“That why you’re my youngest Staff Sergeant?”

“You bet your ass it is.”

Price forced out a laugh. “Out of spite, eh?“

“It’s how I do most things.”

“He still around? Your grandfather?”

“Passed a year or so after I was promoted.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

You shrugged as best you could with the chains restricting your movement. “He lived a long happy life.” Price didn’t press further about your family, he knew your parents were also passed and you didn’t have any siblings. The 141 had become your found family and he was happy that you were no longer alone. 

“You remember the day we met?” Price pressed, trying to keep you awake.

“Yeah,” You breathed out, exhaustion dancing in the corner of your eyes. “you called me a muppet.”

Price smiled recalling the day. “You looked bloody ridiculous under all that gear. Five feet tall wearing gear in Ghost’s size.”

“My CO did it on purpose when we got word you were coming to scout recruits for some secret spy shit. He wanted his golden boy to be picked.”

“Bastard's plan failed. When I saw you running the course like that I knew you were the best for the job.”

You looked down at your feet, you weren’t sure you could ever put into words how thankful you were for all he's done for you. “Thank you, for choosing me. You pulled me out of a dark place that day though I didn't see it at the time.”

“You’ve got nothing to thank me for. Hell, you’ve saved my life more times than I can count. I’m proud of you, Y/n. You’re a whole lot more than you give yourself credit for.”

You weren’t sure if it was the praise or the blood loss but tears began to well in your eyes and you were powerless to stop them.

“When we get out of here we are going on leave.” The Captain’s voice was firm, an unofficial order.

“That so? Don’t think my husband would let me go on holiday with another man.” You joked half-heartedly, the day you told Price you were officially dating Soap he had called the sergeant into his office. An hour passed before you saw either of them again and for a week after that Soap could barely make eye contact with the captain. When you and Soap had gotten married it was Price who walked you down the aisle. 

Price rolled his eyes. “All of us. Been too long since we had a day we weren’t fighting for our lives.”

“Would be nice.”

“Thinkin' a lakeside cabin deep in the woods. I’m going to teach everyone how to fish-” Just then the sounds of distant explosions rocked the room you were in. Concrete dust fell into your lap and you stared at it for a moment.

“I hope that's our favorite demolitions expert.” You spoke as you looked back up at Price.

“Wonder how they found this shithole.”

“Alejandro?” You proposed as another explosion sounded, this time closer.

“Maybe. These idiots probably got cocky and sent some bloody ridiculous ransom note to Los Vaqueros.” 

The sound of gunshots grew near, gradually getting louder until they stopped altogether. Price looked at you then you both looked at the door. What felt like an eternity passed until the door was broken open. A familiar masked face entered, gun at the ready until his eyes settled on the room’s occupants.

“Bloody hell,” Ghost said as he dropped his weapon and pressed the button on his communication device. “I’ve got Price and Y/n. Second-floor northwest corner.” He grabbed the bolt cutters off his back and moved towards you, quickly snapping the chains that were holding you in place. He put a hand on your shoulder and you grabbed his forearm, both gently squeezing the other before letting go, a silent reassurance. He then stood and moved toward Price to free him.

You stayed seated and rubbed your wrists, you knew if you stood now the blood loss would likely make you pass out. The sounds of footsteps in the hallway made your body tense before Soap’s frantic form stepped through the doorway.

“Thank fuckin’ Christ.” Soap spoke as he ran toward you. He kneeled in front of you, gently placing his gloved hands on either side of your face. He rubbed his thumb along your cheek, careful of the small cut there. “You alright, love?”

You stared into his eyes for a moment, basking in the blueness that had come to feel like home. A tired smile crossed your face as you leaned into the gentle touch. “Better now.”

Soap smiled back and you and then slowly helped you stand. He kept a gentle hold on your arm as you regained your equilibrium. After you were sure you weren't going to pass out you walked over to Price, immediately wrapping your arms around him.

“We made it, old man.” You spoke into his chest.

Price placed his chin on your head and gently rubbed his hand along your back. “Knew we would, kiddo.” 

Bonus:

“Should I be jealous?” Soap whispered jokingly to Ghost as they watched the exchange.

“Shut the fuck up, Soap.” Ghost rolled his eyes before swatting the back of Soap’s mohawk.

[batpham-discord-highlights]

2024 April fools and Anniversary Event Prompt List part 3

See what the event was and it's rule here!

Hero! Prompts:

Hero Kiss King of Gunned Bugs

Damian glared at the front of the classroom, specifically at the teacher in front of the whiteboard. Mr. Nightingale. "Call me Dan, for Ancient's sake," he had told them early in the year, was a curious man. He was one of Gotham Academy's more.... unorthodox teachers, less formal as well. He was a science teacher, and despite the urgings of Admin, he never coached for any of the sports GA offered. He was half certain Nightingale was a villain in his career's infancy. All Damian had to do was stop him.

Hero Owen

"Dick!” Tim shouted out his older brother, cringing at his voice. Well, actually it was Dick’s voice, but his brother decided to be an idiot so it’s going to be his voice for now. “You said to grab it!” Dick shouted back, from his spot inside Jason’s body. “WHY ON EARTH WOULD I SAY TO TOUCH THE GREEN GLOWING OBJECT?!” “I DON’T KNOW!” “GUYS!” Jason screamed. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is! The fucking problem is that now I’m in Steph’s fucking body and she’s a foot shorter than me!”

Tim Drake is a descendant of an ancient hero known only in modern day as Phantom. What happens when this hero comes back from the dead, possessing is next of kin?

Hero One Spooky Boy

Danny seriously hates the Justice League. He tried calling for help in Amity once, and they completely dismissed it as a prank and didn't even attempt to check it out. Something about knowing how ghosts worked and they didn't work like this. Anyways, the Justice League turned up in Amity Park to investigate the GIW and Danny is not having it.

When Danny dies for the first time, he sees something. A masked city with a caped crusader of the night, and a man with a grotesque grin and green hair holding a crowbar over his head. He doesn't find out until years later that his ghost half is the ghost of Jason Todd, keeping him alive.

Villains! Prompts:

Villain BreKitten

Look. Danny didn't mean to fall through the floor and into the cave underneath Wayne Manor. It just happened! But, well. It wouldn't hurt to take a peek, right? Right. Just a little look around the frankly ginormous cave wouldn't have any consequences at all.

A magic user manages to get down to the Batcave. Luckily, no one is hurt, but a stray spell hits the dinosaur, making it come to life.

Villain Non-Malicious Animalization

Something's out in the Kansas woods. Something dripping green, something defensive.

Gotham rogues quickly learned the rules of aposematism. This has resulted in some parents taking the risk of dressing their kids like Robin. This makes most low-level thugs avoid them, but can be a risk when it comes to the bigger rogues and the batclan itself. (Please feel free to make this an inhuman batfamily AU. Preferably not vampires or something. I like it when vigilantes are their own species. They're territorial.)

Villain Ky

Unfortunately for everyone involved, Jazz is the one who’s put all the actual realms biology stuff together, not danny. So when it comes down to defeating misinformation, Jazz and Phantom team up to give the…. world’s most awkward schoolwide presentation?

If anyone wants to use and post with these prompts the Ao3 collection link is here, or post with #April Fools event 2024

[skyler10fic]

Passed Down Like Folk Songs

Summary: Daisy bumps into Carol at a pumpkin patch and they both feel like they know each other from somewhere...

Notes: For @ficwip All Ships Ship Week, prompts "Do I know you?" and memories/dreams. Also for @isolus-girl who is having a rough week+. Love you!

----------------------------

The local pumpkin patch and apple orchard farm was full of people the weekend before Halloween. It was no surprise then when two single sapphic women bumped into each other by accident.  

“Oh, hey, you dropped this.” Daisy Johnson tapped the shoulder of a blonde in a red flannel and handed her a carabiner of keys. Daisy noted the pink, white, and orange striped cat keychain. 

“Oh! Thanks.” The woman took the keys and hooked them to the belt loop of her jeans. She met Daisy’s eyes and paused. “Do I know you?” 

Daisy almost responded no but something made her look deeper. “You seem familiar too. And you have a Kamala Kat. I have the bi one, the kittens.” 

This earned a bright smile. “Aw, that one is adorable. Yeah, Kamala is a family friend. Do you know her too?” 

“No, just through mutual friends. I swear I know you from somewhere, though.” Daisy laughed at how odd the feeling was.

“I’m Carol Danvers.” The woman extended a hand and Daisy shook it. She noted no one had stopped to wait as Carol spoke with her.

“Daisy Johnson. I was just about to meet up with some friends at the cider sampling. Would you want to come too and we can figure out how we know each other?”  

A little girl, dragging her mother, called back to Carol, “We’re going to the petting zoo!”

“Okay, I’ll see you later!” Carol called in reply. “You know what, Daisy Johnson? I’m suddenly available. Why not.” 

Daisy introduced Carol to Jemma and Fitz, her cider sampling friends who were saving a wood picnic table for them all. 

When they had their tasting glasses in front of them, Daisy explained, “When I moved here in middle school, Jemma and Fitz were the only other new kids that year, so we hung out a lot, even though we were all from different places.” 

Carol sipped on her cider, enjoying the stories. “I can guess England and Scotland, but where did you move from?”  

“The LA area, which felt just as far away at that age.” 

“Wow, I am from LA! Well, not really. Pasadena.” 

Daisy squinted as she asked, “Wait. Did you go to Margaret Carter Elementary?” 

Carol slammed down her glass in excitement that Fitz’s Scottish kin would have been proud of. “Oh my god. It’s you! You’re the girl.” 

Daisy giggled. “I can’t believe I forgot your name. I can’t believe you forgot MY name!” 

Carol simply stared at Daisy in awed surprise. “How on earth am I sitting at a table thousands of miles away with my first kiss?” 

Jemma and Fitz gasped, and Carol and Daisy realized they had been following this exchange with rapt attention. 

“Yep,” Daisy confirmed. “That’s me. After school out by the science garden. My mom was out of town for work and my dad was late to pick me up.” 

“And my parents had no idea where I was after school and didn’t care as long as I was home for dinner.” 

Daisy leaned in flirtatiously. “So the lesbian cat keychain… Our experiment worked? Still kissing girls?” 

Carol shrugged. “You were very persuasive. And you said you have the bi one?” 

Daisy held up her bag with the keys clipped to the side, showing a kitten with blue, purple, and pink yarn balls. “Girls are definitely at the top of my preferences list, but I haven’t had anyone to 'practice' with lately. Is that woman you were with, who had the little girl, your…?

Carol followed Daisy’s glance to where Maria and Monica were walking their way and finished the sentence: “Friend, housemate, sister. By choice, obviously.” 

She laughed in acknowledgment that biological sisterhood was genetically unlikely. They might be opposites on the melanin color wheel, but they were family in all the ways that mattered. 

“Maria, Monica, I want to introduce you to my friends!” Carol called them over. A waiter brought by another cider sampler for Maria and some apple juice for Monica. 

When Carol explained how she knew Daisy and their history, Monica squealed. “It’s so romantic. Are you her girlfriend?” 

Daisy smiled as Carol apologized. She jumped in, “Well, we could always try a date first.” 

Carol unlocked her phone and slid it over to Daisy with the texting app open to a blank message. “If you text me from my phone, I’ll have your number and you’ll have mine, and we can plan something.” 

Jemma grew serious. “I hope you mean it. I’ve trying to get her back out there for ages.” 

“I tried,” Daisy protested weakly. “I just wasn’t interested in anyone from the apps. Those things are terrible.” 

Carol laughed in understanding. “And here you were all this time I was swiping through photos of couples looking for a third or married women looking to experiment without their husbands knowing.” 

“Here I am,” Daisy confirmed. It felt like more than that. She hadn’t simply kissed Carol as a preteen. She may not have remembered her name, but she remembered enough to wonder about her, to dream about her sometimes, to wish her well wherever she was in the world. 

Little did Daisy know, Carol had done the same. And with the power of a perfect autumn day, they found each other again.

[ateriblewriter]

An Uncle Trevor Night

Baby Ducky AU

singledad!Jamie. Uncle!Trevor, Nanny!reader.

Intros coming soon

Baby Ducky AU Masterlist

ENJOY!

You sat at the table watching Kinsley playing, waiting for Jamie or Trevor to get home. They promised one of them would be there soon, but you were getting impatient. Despite living the thrown together family as the nanny to the adorable Kinsley Jo, you still had a life outside of work. One that you were currently running late for at the moment.

“Oh shoot.” Trevor’s eyes went wide when he walked through the front door of the modest place they were living in. He had completely forgot that he was supposed to take your place in watching Kinsley for the night. “I’m sorry. Jamie won’t be back for a while but I’ve got her, so you go, have fun.”

“Thank you, Z. She still needs eat dinner, it’s bath night and then she needs to actually get to bed tonight.” You looked towards Trevor giving him the rundown of what still needed to be done.

“Dinner, bath, bed got it.” Trevor shooed you out, reciting the list quietly to himself again so he didn’t forget. “ You go. Say hi to Y/bff/N I said hi.”

“It’s actually a date. But I’ll let her know next time I see her” You ran to grab your bag from your room and dashing out the door. “Bye Z, bye Kins.”

“Hey kid, what are we eating for dinner tonight?” Trevor looked at the dark haired child.

“No, Unca Mama. I not hungry.” She told him as she continued to have a little tea party with her favorite stuffed animals, Nana the banana duck that Mason had given her for her birthday and Sheldon the shrimp .

“I call bull.” Trevor threw his head back in slight frustration before sinking to her level. “We have pizza or tacos. Or I can make you a jelly and cheese. Those are your options.”

“No.” Kinsley crossed her arms, and stomped her foot. She adamant on getting what she wanted and if she was stubborn enough, she knew Uncle Mama would give into her demands. “I want waffles.”

“Waffles are not an option kid. In fact we don’t have any.” Trevor sifted through the items in that were in the fridge, making note someone would have to make a trip to the store soon.

“No! Miss Y/N make them.”

“Well I’m not Miss Y/N and I don’t know how to make them.” He made the decision for the child, grabbing the ingredients for to make jelly and cheese sandwiches. As he suspected she was hungry and ate every bite of the sandwich and fruit he gave her. She even tried sharing it with her stuffies.

“Bath time Ducky.” Trevor went over to collect the child. He had let her continue playing for a bit while he cleaned up from dinner. Tonight was bath night

“No.” Kinsley continued to playing with her all her stuffies that were laid out in front of her.

“Kins, it’s just a bath. You like baths. You can have a pool party with your barbies or you can bring your animals in there.”

“No!” Kinsley screamed, testing the waters once again.

“Kinsley Jo, don’t scream at me.” Trevor always felt bad about scolding the child. She wasn’t his despite what some people might think and he felt like it wasn’t his place to do so. “Come on. It’ll be fun.”

Kins just looked at her uncle this time. Instead of saying anything she just got up and ran down a hallway.

After her bath, in which he ended up getting wet as well because the child decided to pour a cup of water, Trevor could tell the hellion child was tired and would soon go to bed and he could finally have a little peace and quiet after a long day.

“Let’s get on some fuzzy pajamas on. We can read some of the new books you got front the library.” Trevor laid out the plan for her. “Sound good?” He dried off Kinsley after her bath.

“NO!” She ran out into the hall again, a second kick of energy must have kicked in, this was going to be a long night for Trevor until Jamie came back.

Trevor groaned, running after the baby duck again. He managed to wrangle her in and get her ready for bed. They read five books books before the kid started yawning and snuggling close to Trevor.

“I miss daddy.”

“I know. But he’ll be back by the time you wake up tomorrow. How does that sound?” The little girl nodded.

“I love you uncle Trevor.” Kinsley engulfed Trevor in a big hug.

“I love you too, baby duck.” Some days he questioned himself why he stuck around to help Jamie with Kinsley. But moments like this made it all worth it and he wouldn’t have traded it for the world.

Please let me know what you think! Also if anyone has any suggestion for shenanigans for this weird family let me know! 

[krash-and-co]

haven't done this in a while, so here !! l&co as stuff I've heard/said in the past few months, bc I don't remember exact exchanges before then 👍👍

arguably more unhinged for reasons unknown. fate of Gods favorite clown idk

Lucy: I thought Billie Joe Armstrong went to the moon for a long time, honestly.

~

Lucy: [calling Barnes] there's a stranger at our house. she tried really hard to get in, and--

Lockwood, in the distance: we broke all the stranger danger rules.

Lucy: we broke all the stranger danger rules.

~

Holly: Lockwood, you have the coolest style.

Lockwood: thanks!

Lucy: what?!? she just tells me I look gay.

Lucy: and homeless.

~

holly: I want to help disabled kids ride a tricycle. wait, I meant to say horses.

lockwood: you want to help disabled horses ride a tricycle??????

~

Lucy: I don't have mommy issues I just don't like my mom.

~

Lucy: you gave me a framed photo for my birthday

Lucy: and within thirty minutes you stepped on it.

Lockwood: but then I bought you a new frame!!!

Lucy: and then I opened it, and it looked like you stepped on it.

Lockwood: well I'm not buying you another one.

~

skull: ugh, theyre so obsessed with how they look.

lucy, nodding: yeah, they're all "oh I'm so perfect!" preps. they definitely shave their legs.

~

Lockwood: I need to work on my swearing problem, cuz there are adults around and they don't li-- *drops thermos* ow FUCK

~

Lockwood: shut the windows. shut the fucking windows, I feel like we're being watched.

Lucy: hahaha, this is fucking terrifying.

Lockwood: here are the knives.

Holly: do you have any baseball bats? I don't want to stab people.

George: no, but we have crutches. we can hit people with them.

Holly, nodding: that's good.

~

Lockwood: I'm stupid.

Kipps: no you're not- yes you are. I don't know why I said you're not, so I had to correct myself.

~

holly: if we kill someone, we'll get in.... trouble.

~

George: shit!! I mean fuck!!! I mean crap!!!

Lucy, hitting him repeatedly: stop CURSING YOU FUCKING-- DANG IT!!!!!

~

Holly: do you ever get the urge to be randomly violent, like-

[loud clatter as lockwood and kipps beat each other up in the background]

holly: yeah like that.

~

Kipps, on searching for Bobby: I used to just grab any kid I saw about his height with brown hair, but that caused problems.

~

Lucy: what's your biggest fear?

Lockwood: what? spiders.

Lucy: no the other one

Lockwood: change.

Lucy: no the-- the other one.

George: what do you WANT FROM HIM-

~

lucy: you're going to make me have a gambling addiction.

skull, nodding: that's the idea.

~

George: pff my mom says im special.

Lockwood: im also special! they put me in classes about it.

[Lockwood and George burst out laughing while everyone else stares]

~

[Lucy and George are punching each other, screaming, and spewing out profanity in sign language]

George: literally nobody even looked up

Lucy: we're at the point where it's normal

George: yeah, haha!

Lucy: haha!

[a moment of heavy breathing and grinning before they begin fucking attacking each other again]

~

George, to Lucy: ugh im so sore. why do you keep punching me.

[Lucy punches him]

~

ok last one but this was a hell of a fucking convo and it was so funny everyone just jumped in with random twists 😭😭

[kipps crew, l&co, and flo are all sitting in barnes otherwise empty office]

George: kipps sounds terminally online, but I can't figure out yet if it's the normal kind or if he has. like. a kin list.

Lucy: the two extremes. normal or homestuck.

George: I read all of homestuck but it's okay I'm normal now

skull: im-

lucy: skull YOU'RE terminally online, but like the video gamer kind. kipps sounds like he had a my hero academia phase.

Lockwood: I was friends with someone who would roleplay mha all the time.

George: like pretend to have powers or something?

Lockwood: no, like pretend to be the characters. interact as them.

bobby: I don't roleplay, but I like to imagine I'm a different person with powers sometimes :)

ned: ha, furry.

flo: furry? one of my friends knows a furry who got her tail stolen, and she's in the office right now.

Lockwood: like today??

flo: yeah today. she's there right now.

Lockwood: [silence] oh.

flo: yeah they just. yoink.

[silence]

bobby: .....im not a furry but--

Lucy: aaaand gonna stop you right there before you make things worse for yourself

kat: why can't we EVER have normal conversations

[phoenixyfriend]

marriage of convenience and hair brushing/braiding for rexwalker, if you feel up to it?

Fanfiction Trope MASH-UP: Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.

This ask meme is from over a year ago. Please don't send new prompts.

52. Marriage of Convenience 94. Hair Brushing/Braiding 

Is it bad that my first thought is actually inspired by the Ob*kin fic Their fragrance came from you? There's a whole thing about Tatooine marriage braids that my mind immediately jumps to lmao

I think... let's say modern AU. Anakin is a single dad, has been for a few years. Padme died in childbirth, and while her will was made out in favor of Anakin and the kids, the executor of her will was her lawyer-mentor, Palpatine, who couldn't touch the trust funds set up for the twins (which are very large, and will become available when they turn 25, but can only be accessed for education costs before then), but did manage to somehow take almost all the liquid assets left for Anakin in bogus fees.

Anakin's still got the house, but as time passes, he's having more and more trouble with paying the property taxes. He's still managing, but the money Padme left for him is slowly dwindling, and the kids are going to start costing more as they get older, and he's already got Ahsoka living with him (she helps out with the kids so he can work, coding from home, since he's paying for her college tuition; she doesn't have to pay rent since she's a commuter student, and she's got a partial scholarship, but that's still a few thousand a year coming out of Anakin's pocket to put his little sister through underrad). Obi-Wan offered to help, but Obi-Wan lives on the other side of town and even tenured professors don't earn that much, compared to Coruscant's standard cost of living, especially since Obi-Wan adopted recently, a little girl called Reva, and--

Anakin's struggling financially, basically, which isn't a new circumstance, but he really doesn't want to lose Padme's house. Worst comes to worst, he can probably sell it back to Sola so it stays in the Naberrie family, and she'll let him keep living there, but... that's not a sure bet. The Naberries are comfortably wealthy, but it's still an entire house.

Rex, a college friend of Anakin's that went to the same aerospace program, comes back to town. He was on a military tour overseas, but got honorably discharged due to a head injury. Anakin offers to let hm sleep in the guest room, since Padme's house (it's still Padme's, in Anakin's mind), is a lot bigger than Cody's apartment, even if there are toddlers at large. Rex initially promises that he'll only stay long enough to find an apartment of his own, except he overhears Anakin on the phone with Obi-Wan about the finance stuff one day, and reaches out to a few people who have been in town more consistently for a better idea of what's going on without getting too deep into Anakin's business.

Rex manages to get a job locally; there's an airfield for hobbyists a few miles out of town, and the place is looking to hire a new engineer on staff to do repairs and checks on the small planes they keep on site. He starts making noises about moving out, and then, 'subtly,' suggests he just stay at Anakin's place and pay rent.

Anakin does not like the idea of Rex paying rent; friends don't do that! Anakin isn't going to make Rex pay rent in Anakin's home.

They don't talk about it for a few days, and then there's... IDK a night 'off,' where Obi-Wan or Sola or Aayla or Beru takes the twins for an evening, and Ahsoka goes out with friends, so Anakin can take some time off from being a Dad and just Relax.

He and Rex break out the wine, get tipsy not truly drunk, and Rex pokes at the 'just stay here' option again. The house is closer to the airfield than most apartments, and Rex can help take some of the weight off of Anakin and Ahsoka's shoulders with regards to childcare! Even if Anakin won't accept him paying rent!

Anakin argues this. Anakin's kids aren't Rex's responsibility, and Anakin doesn't need his charity (which is, of course, how he views Rex's suggestion). They go back and forth on the topic a few times, and then Rex throws out something about getting married 'for lower taxes' and 'it's not rent if it's my house too, right?' and it's. It's a joke.

Except they're both still thinking about it the next morning, with faint (but not faint enough) memories of a tipsy kiss before bed, and--

Months pass with the two of them circling around each other and Rex never quite moves out, and tax season rolls around, and Anakin is stretched so thin, even with all the cuts for children and covering a dependent's tuition and so on.

Rex quietly floats the idea of a convenience marriage again. It doesn't have to mean anything, if Anakin doesn't want it to. It's not an insult to Padme's memory, just a way of keeping her children in the house she chose for them. And it's not charity, because Rex will get tax cuts too, and better health insurance once Anakin can put him on the family plan he's got. It won't do anything for this year, but by the time the next year rolls around, Anakin will have less of a problem paying those taxes, even if that promotion he's been hoping for doesn't come through.

Anakin, eventually, agrees.

Just four months later, they tie the knot. It's a small ceremony, more than just a courthouse and a paper, just to... well, Anakin wants Rex to have this. Leia and Luke don't entirely understand what's going on, but Ahsoka told them that it means Rex is going to be staying for a lot longer than they originally planned, and they're pretty excited about that part. They're four, and 'Daddy's friend that we like a lot is staying' is pretty clear.

They don't have a 'traditional' wedding night, because they're still both looking at this as a platonic thing (it won't stay that way, but it still is for now). They do share a bed, because someone is sleeping in their guest room (IDK who, maybe a guest was too drunk post-wedding to get home and they just offered the room). Anakin's hair is long enough for an evening of people and, importantly, sticky toddler hands to have tangled it. He washes it out, comes to the bed, and looks so tired--because he had to wash the toddlers first--that Rex offers to brush it for him.

It's intimate. Gentlemanly, but intimate. They go to bed with warm cheeks and pounding hearts, and eventually, one of them rolls onto their side to cuddle.

Neither of them get much sleep that night.

[outfoxt]

Affixes, Clitics, and Particles

i think that these parts of language are really cool! so im going to try to explain them :D also i definitely did not get sent down an hours long rabbit hole of linguistic papers and i also definitely didn't find out that the reason i wanted to make this post is actually a misconception :D i love ignoring things :D

Affixes:

the wikipedia article for affixes says that "in linguistics, an affix is a morpheme that is attached to a word stem to form a new word or word form."

in hopefully simpler terms, this basically means that an affix is a letter, or a group of letters that form a single sound or syllable, that is attached to a word stem to form a new word or word form.

some examples of these are the somewhat well known prefix and suffix, but also the beloved infix:

prefix: undone suffix: spotless infix: abso-fucking-lutely

sidenote: my favorite thing about english infixes is that they pretty much only work with expletives. in fact, there's a tom scott video about expletive infixations!

Clitics:

wikipedia defines a clitic as such: "a clitic is a morpheme that has syntactic characteristics of a word, but depends phonologically on another word or phrase."

in layman's terms: a clitic is a letter, or a group of letters that form a single sound or syllable, that has the function of a word in a sentence, but depends on another word or phrase based on the sound rules of the language.

a few examples of clitics can be seen in finnish (which also has a great many affixes but we're not talking about those right now):

-ko/kö -han/hän -pa/pä -kin

the spelling of the clitic depends on vowel harmony. if you want to learn more, this dissertation is all about finnish clitics!

you may be asking yourself how to tell the difference between clitics and other parts of speech. well this study has just the thing for you! quite a few tests are suggested by the author of this study if you want to be able to tell if something is a clitic or not, including some of the following:

a phonological test observe how the clitic forms a phonological unit with an independent word. (do not ask me how this one works i dont know) accentual test "clitics are accentually dependent, while full words are accentually independent." put simply, if you can't put stress on it, it's probably a clitic syntactic test a word can stand on its own and be subject to normal word processes such as tense changes while a clitic cannot do this

Particles:

"'Particle' is a cover term for items that do not fit easily into syntactic and semantic generalizations about the language[.]"

read: "particle" is a miscellaneous, catch all term for anything that doesn't fit into the above two categories (or any other word categories like nouns, verbs, etc.)

the author of this study (who i'm going to refer to as Zwicky from now on because it's easier) says that theres no such thing as a particle and that its distinction from affixes, clitics, words, and clauses is unnecessary. i think thats an. interesting take.

anyway even though Zwicky just said theres no such thing as particles (which, how could he do that? theres kids around! we dont want to ruin the magic!) he concedes that there is actually a group of words that are commonly called particles that he agrees are actually particles. but he decides to call them discourse markers instead. because fuck you.

i dont like any of the words that Zwicky included so i made a list of my own:

-ね (ne) eh (canadian english) innit (common transcription of "isn't it", british english)

the funny thing is im coming out of this still not entirely clear on what a particle is. i thought i knew, i did some research, realized i didnt know, and now i'm here. based on how Zwicky puts it, it feels like the category of "particle" exists to accommodate the fact that there might be words* that arent affixes, clitics, words, or clauses but it feels like Zwicky is just being contrary. I should probably have done more research but this post was supposed to be done 24 hours ago.

out of context highlights from my research process: - sanskrit - the panini rule - doch - verbosely long section titles

*i dont actually mean words, i mean a morpheme which is a letter or a group of letters that form the representation of one sound that carries meaning, but i didn't want to make that sentence long and unreadable

if i'm wrong, please tell me! i would appreciate being corrected, i know i am not an expert on this topic in the slightest.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

I went for a nap and when I woke up not one but two HOTD trailers had dropped. Here are some thoughts I had after watching them.

First off I appreciate the promotional tactic of having two trailers, one for each side and the whole choose a side part of the promotion. I think its a fun way of involving the audience in the story by playing into the whole team black vs team green plot. Just like the realm and houses of westeros had to choose a side the audience does too. That being said I am fully team black and I honestly don't understand why anyone would make an argument for team green given what happened in season 1, like they usurped the throne and killed Lucerys, they made their own bed so.

Speaking of, Alicent was looking worried and sad throughout both trailers, what's up Alicent? Having to face the consequences of your own actions? In all seriousness though it does look like Alicent is about to be faced with the consequences of her choosing to put Aegon on the throne behind Rhaenyra's back and is realising the true depth of what those consequences are, like f*ck around and find out I guess. Look I think Alicent is an interesting character and I think she had a rough time of it what with being pimped out by her father and becoming a baby machine for the king and I have some sympathy for her, but at the end of the day she isn't the only character who has had a shitty time of it and that doesn't make her an angel or eternal victim, she is responsible for her actions. I am not the biggest fan of the way the showrunners are trying to make out like the Greens have a leg to stand on really, when it comes to whose in the right and whose in the wrong, the greens are in the wrong, it's like trying to argue the lannisters had a point in the og show, they didn't they were the villains, just let the Greens be the villains like they are supposed to be, they can still be interesting characters, the lannisters were, I just don't get this whole lets try and make the greens seem sympathetic thing, its not working for me.

Which brings me to the next thing from the Green's trailer, Aemond and his whole 'if he dares to' line about Daemon. Like I get that this was supposed to be some intimidating power line, the dangerous dragon rider, the rider of Vhagar the largest dragon still alive is laying down a challenge, he's not afraid. I also get that Aemond is supposed to be like the Green's side's Daemon, the match to him. Maybe this line would have worked if Aemond had actually intended to kill Lucerys, if he was a cold blooded kin slayer, but really him killing Lucerys was an oopsie where he had lost control over Vhagar, so to me this line seems like a kid who is trying to play the part of the cold blooded kin slayer but instead is just a scared boy whose realised he f*cked up. Also the whole if he dares thing is laughable considering who Aemond is talking about, this is Daemon, the guy who cut the head off a man who called his stepson a bastard in front of an entire court, what do you think he is going to do to the guy who actually killed his stepson? Trust me he's going to dare, hide Aemond, just hide.

The other thing that bothered me was Rhaenyra's line in the Black trailer where she says she fears what she has started because like what? Girl you didn't start anything, like out of the long list of people you could argue started it, Rhaenyra is way near the bottom of that list, like what did she do except be named heir by her father the king and then fight for her right to the throne when it was usurped from her? You could argue that Viserys started it when he named her heir, that Otto started it when he pimped Alicent out to Viserys, that Alicent started it when she decided to interpret the nonsense Viserys spewed on his death bed as his wish for Aegon to sit the throne, that Aemond started it when he chased down and accidently killed Lucerys, but Rhaenyra herself sure as shit didn't start anything.

Anyway I have ranted about what I didn't vibe with enough lets talk about some of the stuff I did like. Love the costumes as usual, like they had some amazing costumes in season 1 and it looks like they are going to be equally as beautiful in season 2.

The dragons also look great, I loved seeing Baela on her dragon and I am hoping we will be seeing many epic dragon fights this season as the dance heats up. I will never say no to seeing more dragons. I also hope we will see more of Rhaena, Baela and Jace and that they will be playing roles in Rhaenyra's fight to get the throne. I did see a shot of both Jace and Baela at the table on either side of Rhaenyra when she was giving her speech about fighting for her throne and winning.

We also saw Jace with who I am assuming is Cregan Stark at what appeared to be the wall, so I am excited to see the north again and it'll be interesting to see what the wall and the night's watch looked like a hundred odd years earlier than when Jon snow was there.

Over all it looks like its going to be an exciting and action packed season and I am looking forward to seeing what is going to happen next, I own the fire and blood book but I stopped reading before I got to the dance because I wanted the show to be a surprise, I really can't predict what is going to happen next but I am thinking that Rhaenyra and Daemon are going to retaliate in some way for Lucerys death and considering how fiery and passionate they both are I suspect their revenge is going to be something big. It did look like in some shots like Alicent and Helaena were wearing funeral attire and were taking part in some kind of funeral procession so I guess that is going to have something to do with it. So anyway yeah, I am suitably excited for the next season thanks to these trailers, so bring on june.

[princesscolumbia]

Ranma 1/2 Thoughts, Meta Edition

I have consumed...a lot of Ranma 1/2 content.

I mean, this is kinda what happens when you're a repressed transgirl who discovers the manga a year into a marriage that you got into to "fix" being trans and be "a real boy" in a desperate bid to fill the hole that you wouldn't learn for two decades could only be filled by living as your true self.

I've encountered precisely four (4) types of Ranma 1/2 fans in that time:

Transwomen who see Ranma as their idealized expression of the gender experience ("I'm not like this because I want to be, it's a curse. A curse that gives me a smokin' hot body and HUGE tits! But it's tooootally a curse, for realsies! I'll find a cure any day now, see how hard I'm looking? I'm trying sooooo hard to find a cure...")

Transmen who see Ranma as their perfect representation of their gender experience ("I'm a guy, damnit! This body...it's a curse! I hate it and I want nothing better than to be cured, but all sorts of Life Bullshit keeps getting in the way!")

Lesbians who kin either Ranma (butch NB lesbian) or one of their love interests (Akane - comphet closetted butch lesbian, Shampoo - Strong, smokin' hot bad bitch who goes after what she wants, Ukyo - transmasc coded genderfluid NB)

Completely clueless nimrods who miss the FUCKING POINT and are only into the show for the martial arts and think it would be better if Ranma got cured and they stopped having funny stuff happen.

(In case it's not obvious, IMHO the last group are the worst parts of the fandom and need to Go Away. Most of the toxic stuff that exists in R.5 fanspaces is because of this group of assholes which includes the incels that think everything would be better if Ranma just did stuff that's questionable from an ethics and morality perspective and chased after Shampoo because she's the closest thing to a Barbie-doll these closet fascists can allow themselves to fantasize about playing with, completely ignoring that she's a complex character that's a subversive pastiche to the Japanese racist stereotypes of the 1980s.)

I'm not kidding when I say that in the early days of the public Internet (before Facebook and Twitter ruined it for everyone), Ranma 1/2 was the SINGLE largest fandom by a MASSIVE stretch. I once checked my math on this by going to Fanfiction.net (before the massive purges) and brought up the Big List of All Fandoms and right there at the top with a MASSIVE number of fics was Ranma 1/2 by a HUGE margin. It took three fandoms (Star Trek, Doctor Who, and I believe Naruto if I'm recalling correctly) to have their combined total number of fics exceed the number of R.5 fics on FF.net...and that was JUST FF.net. There was an entire separate index (The Penultimate Ranma 1/2 Fanfic Index) that had the single task of listing, not even curating or reading or reviewing, ONLY Ranma 1/2 fanfics. Not fanart, not commentary, no RP blogs or chat transcripts or whatever, JUST fanfics. And only about half of those linked to FF.net, meaning that if you dig up the archives you'll find at least 60% of all fanfics that people had managed to index in the Ranma 1/2 fandom are missing because they were never properly archived and just...faded from the Internet as the public servers and places like Geocities started disappearing. You can find teasing, tantalizing hints of larger works that all we have left, like scraps of ancient papyri revealing a quote from a missing book of the Bible, are single chapters backed up on niche sites that managed to get spider-crawled by Archive.org, but many great works are just...lost. (There's an ero fic called "Playing with Water" that was SUPER hot and featured elements that we have tags for on porn sites but didn't really have proper words for back in the day...but even back when it was first being written finding the thing was hard...and today? Nearly impossible.)

(If you wonder why I'm such an absolute RABID advocate of AO3, this is why)

For me, Ranma will always be the transfemme coded genderfluid hero that we needed in the late 80s and early 90s. We were on the tail end of the AIDS pandemic, and just like COVID-19 there were a bunch of assholes who used it to ride to power and marginalize queer folk. It was easier to do with AIDS, of course, given the absolutely massive numbers of queer cis men and transwomen who contracted it and died. (Sidebar: the reason "L" comes first in "LGBTQIA+" is because it was the Lesbian nurses who were the caretakers of the Gay men who were dying in numbers large enough to be counted as a tragic statistic instead of a mere tragedy) and while the world was starting to acknowledge (again) that gay men was a thing that existed and they weren't actually trying to corrupt the youth, what we now call "transgender" was still listed in the DSM as a mental disorder that required treatment to "cure." According to the cultural majority in damn near every field you can imagine, the Gender Binary was the only way to exist and if you didn't fit neatly into one or the other then you were Damaged™ and had to be Fixed™ for The Good of All People™ (but specifically so cis-het-white folks, usually men, could feel comfy and not be confronted by things that made them feel icky and might have cooties). It's a truism that's treated as a joke that transwomen get into coding and wind up doing IT work in such massive numbers that between us and the furries we ARE the foundation of the modern Internet. And into the fanspaces packed to the brim with closetted AMAB transwomen who hadn't yet had their egg cracked came this plucky martial artist that gets to swap their gender with a splash of water but somehow still winds up the best of the best, the finest martial artist of their generation. (Goku can suck it, Ranma would turn the Kamea-meha right back on the over-muscled, braindead loser with a food fetish and still make it home in time for Kasumi's dinner)

I'm no sociologist, anthropologist, behaviorist, whatever, but I suspect that the reason Ranma Saotome spawned such a large fanbase so early in the modern Internet's history was specifically because the series created a safe space where people could talk about gender issues with a degree of separation that helped strip away the stigma surrounding feeling like you were in the wrong body.

I get why people like the martial arts aspect. I mean, Ranma kills a demigod. This is NOT something to sneeze at. I also understand the transmen who latch onto Ranma as a kin because I get the feeling like you have no control over what your body's doing and you're going through your days in existential dread of what might be dragging you further and further away from what you always knew was right and correct about yourself. It's a terrifying thing and here's someone who (esp. the anime version) IS a guy trapped in a girl's body.

For me, though, and for a LOT of transwomen out there, Ranma is transfemme. And, yes, canonically Ranma states right near the end of the manga that they're both and they kinda forgot about the 'cure' when they had to pick between that and the really important stuff and that they're okay with being fluid ('cause water, gettit?!) about their gender and it's a damn shame this was the 80s 'cause a continuation might wind up showing Ranma embracing being both...

BUT, and this is a transfemme thing, I know, if you continue the parabolic arc of Ranma's character development, the logical conclusion (for us) is that she eventually decides that she's a woman and just lives in her "cursed" form the majority (or all) of the time.

And yes, this is because that's the transfemme story arc. In the manga in some distant part of the multiverse that peers into our universe and for some reason decides to make me the MC (god, that must be a FUCKING BORING manga by our standards, I weep for those fans), my story arc is the gradual progression of uncracked, closetted transgirl to transitioned out and proud transbien mom. At one point I swapped back and forth between gender presentations because it was safer for me to appear in some spaces as the male that they thought I was. Now I would prefer to die before being forced to go back to pretending to be a man again.

Ranma has the choice, and good for them. Until the Kaisufuu is permanently destroyed, even if the "curse" is locked, they have the option of going one way or the other based solely on their own, personal desire. I can't say I'd be comfortable with that option being available. In that theoretical manga where there's a reboot that gives me a condition like Ranma's, I'd probably wind up destroying the equivalent to the Kaisufuu just because of the threat to my mental wellbeing it presents.

So it's not a stretch to imagine Ranma making the same choice. She's a woman now, she has the life she never realized she wanted because she never had the choice so didn't know she was allowed to imagine it, but now she's happier than ever and why would she ever go back to that struggle of being a guy that only ever brought her pain and challenges and heartache?

[the-bi-space-ace]

Artemy Burakh: A Fixer

This is not my usual Star Wars related post BUT I do think that if you have similar interests to me you might want to read this post and perhaps find another fandom to explore. That being said let’s talk first about what Pathologic 2 is.

Pathologic 2 is a video game set somewhere in the Russian Steppe in a small town with eccentric inhabitants with interesting cultural traditions and unique struggles. The game follows Artemy Burakh who is no older than 26 years old (I’m not sure of exact age but he is very young.) He receives a letter from his father asking him to come home from college where he is training to be a surgeon. He returns upon request only to discover his father is dead and a deadly plague is about to ravage the town. He receives odd clues and hints about what happened, who killed his father, and where this plague comes from but ultimately his job is to care for a list of people his father left him and discover a panacea before it is too late.

Now that you have the basics I’d like to talk a little bit about Artemy Burakh himself and why he is one of the most loving characters I’ve ever gotten to know. Artemy grew up with his father, mother, and brother. His mother and brother both died tragically when he was young and he and his father were left alone. Artemy is meant to follow in his father’s footsteps and become the town’s doctor - a menkhu - who is the only person in the town allowed to cut flesh. Artemy has accepted this purpose and was surprised yet willing when his father sent him away to train in the city to learn more mainstream medicine.

Why is Artemy Burakh so important? Well, for one, he represents two halves of the town: the Kin and the Townspeople. There is a rift between these two sides and Artemy’s dad is of the Kin while his mother was a townsperson. Their marriage and the birth of their children signified something that follows Artemy around for the rest of his life. He constantly feels torn between two sides and to be honest nether side really wants him. They wish he would abandon one side of his roots and favor the other but he can’t. He never truly feels as though he belongs.

Upon spending the game with Artemy you start to learn more about what his upbringing was like. His friends say insensitive things to him, harp on him for leaving, claim horrible things about him, and yet he still so desperately wants their friendship. Few people give him any sort of condolences for the loss of his father, effectively leaving him with no other family, and his role in this plague is a thankless one. Still, Artemy does it. He survives on no sleep, trading with others, and the kindness of people to survive, along with his own intellect and strength.

His friends call him ‘cub’ which makes sense considering he is often compared to a bear and told he’s ‘big’ quite often. Artemy is an intimidating guy. He’s snarky and bitchy and rude to people he doesn’t like. He’s protective and loyal. And depending how you play him he can be quite ruthless. Artemy is a special character because he feels very human.

Many of the individuals he has sworn to protect are children and this is a huge deal in the game. Artemy feels connected to them, protects them, and would do anything for them. He particularly connects with two: Sticky and Murky. Two orphans on his father’s list who end up staying with him at the end of the game. Artemy essentially adopts these two kids, providing for them, and ensuring they have a home. Through the events of the game he may lose one family but he gains another. He loves them dearly, it’s clear throughout the game, and I think if anyone were to try to take them from him he’d tear the world apart before he let that happen.

During one of the early pantomimes Artemy says that he’s not sure he knows how to love. I find this to be incredibly interesting considering the game spends its time showing you that he does know how to love and he absolutely shows it. Looking at Artemy from an outside perspective it’s easy to see how loving he is. It’s a shame he doesn’t see it and thinks he doesn’t ’know how’.

You learn quite a few devestating things throughout the game. Things that change Artemy’s life forever. I’m about to spoil the game so if you intend to play stop reading here.

Artemy’s dad started the plague on purpose. He claimed that the town was broken and he - Isidor - was good at breaking. Artemy, however, is good at fixing. Isidor told his son to come home, started the plague, and died for the town. There’s a conversation later on where Artemy asks if Isidor did this for him and he says ‘Of corse not. I did it for the town.’ Isidor is good at breaking because I imagine he broke Artemy’s heart here just as much, and probably more, than he broke mine. It’s a moment that makes me question what Artemy’s upbringing must’ve looked like. Isidor must’ve loved his son, but was he a good parent? I’d venture to say no but we aren’t really sure. All I know is that Artemy’s dad was more concerned with his duty as a doctor than he was to his son and without more knowledge I don’t know how to judge further.

At the end of the day Isidor is right. Artemy is a great fixer. And he fixes everything almost entirely on his own.

Within 11 days he returns home, learns of his father’s death, gets the plague, cures the plague, gets chased through the streets by robbers, gets attacked at the train station, learns of the origin of the plague, and depending on your choice at the end either kills the earth (I know how it sounds but he does, really, kill the earth) or level the town and force everyone to wander the steppe until they die while the earth and the plague claim the town, adopts two children, and probably loses his nearest and dearest friends in the process.

He’s 26. I’m only a year older than him and I can’t imagine doing what he does. I can’t imagine sleeping for an hour at a time, sometimes going days without sleep, caring for sick patients, digging through the trash for objects and food, hunting down water bottles, trading for medicine, and creating a panacea to save your home town. That is. A lot. To put it lightly.

So why does he do all of this? Well, the simple answer is that this is a game and in order to play you must do it. BUT. I think it’s about love. I think Artemy does everything he does not out of obligation but because of his love for people and his deep need to not be alone. He wants a family. He wants connection. He wants to love and be loved in return.

Man needs a hug.

Wrapped up in this plague game is a story of obligation and purpose and choice and love. What do you choose when you must decide between the earth or the town? Personally I always choose to kill the earth. That choice is the only logical option for me, personally, and one I think Artemy would choose himself. Killing the earth effectively gives you the panacea and kills the plague who has taunted you the whole game. It allows the town to move forward and build again through the people on Isidor’s list. It hurts, though, as it is not without consequence. The beings who are of the earth die and become no more which hurts to see. The earth dies. And many of the traditions die with the earth. It will take a long time for the town to heal, for Artemy to heal, and yet it must.

Artemy loves his father. He loves his mother and his brother. He loves his friends. He loves the children he was sworn to protect. He loves people who have come into his life and those who may or may not leave it. He loves so he heals. He loves them so he destroys the earth for them.

Artemy is forced to do horrible things to remain alive. I’ve played this game five times and my kill count goes up each time. Artemy wouldn’t like doing that but he does what he must. He doesn’t like what his father did but he still loves him even if he is angry. I wish Isidor would treat Artemy like his child sometimes. Hold his hand and tell him everything will be alright, walk him through what he needs to do, and guide him without fear of judgement. But Isidor was always better at breaking than he was fixing.

‘If a bone grew wrong, he’d break it.’

Artemy has a right to be angry. I think that goes without saying. He has a right to feel hurt and betrayed especially by those closest to him. His closest friend growing up, Rubin, hates him when he returns to the town and yet Artemy spends the game proving to Rubin that he loves him and wants him to stay. Rubin was angry when Artemy left for the city. So angry that they fought and Artemy had to leave it on bad terms. When he returns Rubin hates him, will find any reason to slander him, and talks about Isidor’s death as if it is Artemy’s fault.

It’s unfair. It’s hurtful. And yet Artemy spends the game convincing Rubin that they can be friends again despite everything. I get so angry with Rubin because if he would just set aside his anger and allow them emotional closeness then maybe they’d both heal but he can’t and he won’t. It’ll take time to fix their relationship but Artemy will put in the effort.

He’s always been a fixer.

When it comes to Rubin I want to choose the cruel dialogue options but I know Artemy wouldn’t, not for Rubin. He gets angry but he’s not a cruel man, as much as he might want to be cruel to Rubin at times. He wouldn’t so I don’t. You can tell by the more tame interactions they have that Artemy is relieved when Rubin says something not entirely unkind to him and he sinks back into familiarity quickly. So I let Artemy have his friendship despite how much I wish he was treated better by the people he holds dear.

I hope Artemy got a long cry after this was all over. I hope he sat in his dad’s house after cleaning the blood off of the floor and pulled out his mom’s old stuff and sobbed. I hope he set up bedrooms for Murky and Sticky and ended up sleeping on the floor in the same room with them just to be close to them. I hope his friends visited him after a few days just to bring him food and sit and talk. I hope he convinced Daniil to stay. I hope Artemy allowed friendship to develop into something more and found someone to spend his life with and help raise his children. I hope he thinks of the earth and knows he did the right thing. I hope he lays in the steppe and thinks of his brother and talks to his dad at his grave. I hope Artemy smiles and laughs and hugs his loved ones and sees his own stubborn spirit in the two spunky kids he’s adopted and fosters their interests. I hope he puts together the life he deserves after watching it crumble to pieces over 11 days of hell and torment. I hope so much for him.

After all, Artemy has always been a fixer.

[bonefall]

You know what's a super classic conlang thing I'm shocked we haven't done? A kinship terminology chart! We should totally have one, get in those terms for uncle/aunt, grandparents, nesprings, the whole of it!

LETSGO, full list of the familial terms they use in Clanmew, plus a straightforward explanation of the concepts that have been floating around!

PARENTS

Blood relation is simply Gan. This is a term that's more related to bloodline; Nyams is for people you consider your family. Both of these are translated as 'Kin.'

So to start with, the only constant for a kitten is that they have a Mi.

A Mi is a Primary Parent. This is a non-gendered term; there are many reasons why a non-birthing parent may be the Mi of their litter. It also doesn't necessarily refer to whoever suckled the kittens. Whoever spent the most time and energy raising the litter is its Mi.

Fernsong was the Mi of his litter. Torear, biologically Harestar and Kestrelflight's uncle who adopted them, was their Mi. Breezepelt is the Mi of the litters in his polycule.

If, for some reason, the Mi was unable to care for their kittens, their Ba is expected to step up and become their Mi.

Most kittens also have a Ba.

A Ba is a Secondary Parent. This exclusively refers to cats involved in kittencare, to try and imply that an Honor Sire that has no role in raising their children is a Ba is something that supporters of Thistle Law do. It inherently means closeness.

For example, when TigerClan took over, Rippleclaw was considered the Ba of Swansong, even though Oakheart had raised him along with Stonefur and Mistyfoot.

Never use "Ba" for an Honor Sire unless the Honor Sire is co-parenting, such as with Firestar and Sandstorm. "Ba" can also be a title that a cat rejects completely, such as with Breezepelt to Crowfeather, Brambleclaw to the Three, and Dovewing to Lionblaze!

"Ba" applies to all kitten-involved members of a polycule. Heathertail and Harestar are both Ba to the kittens that Breezepelt is the Mi of. In cases of there being multiple Ba, usually a creative nickname is made up to differentiate them. For Harestar, his Clanmew name (Yywayayiaoyr) has so many Y sounds that his children call him Ya!

A Mwaow is a relevant biological parent. Usually a mother if referring to wild egg-laying animals who don't care for their young, though occasionally Wairre is used for "sires" specifically.

"Mwaow" is what Swansong feels is most fitting for his sire, Rippleclaw. Breezepelt wants to be extra insulting and call Crowfeather a "Wairre" sometimes.

To call your Ba a Mwaow is very insulting, and a rejection of them as your parent. Likewise, it is insulting to say that a cat's Mwaow is their Ba if they don't feel that way.

And finally, the term for Honor Sire in Clanmew is Kurruaow. Honor-Parent. They make no distinction between dams and sires in Clanmew.

To summarize;

Gan = Kin/Blood

Nyams = Kin/Family

Mi = Primary parent

Ba = Secondary parent

Mwaow = Biological parent, neutral but non-endearing

Wairre = Biological sire, used mostly for animals

Kurruaow = Honor Sire/Dam/Parent

AUNCLES AND COUSINS

What about the sisters and brothers of your parents? Their kids?

There are Mi-Auncles, Ba-Auncles, and First Cousins. Further than that is just thrown under Gan, if at all.

Myami = Mi-Auncle

Byama = Ba-Auncle

Rabir = Cousin

SIBLINGS

Multiple-births are very common to Clan cats, and furthermore, multiple litters are seen often. Defining your place within your parent's litters is very important socially!

So, in addition to having words for an older or younger litter of siblings, there are also words for your size within your own litter. Clanmew is more concerned if you were a large kitten or a runt than your birth order, but this could be crudely compared to the human concept of older and younger siblings!

This is an important concept because size growing up would mean you had the upper paw in brawls, to your suckler's milk, and were considered the 'most mature.' Runts are considered to need more protection and 'babying.'

If there was a situation where two littermates were equally sized, they often squabble over who was really the bigger sibling. This doesn't relate to adult size-- Fallenleaf was the largest of her litter, but Lionblaze is bigger than her now.

Firra = Siblings (Broad term, often assumed to be innately plural and referring to several types of siblings at once)

Kafrrif = Sibling of older litter

Eefrri = Sibling of younger litter

Wifeerr = Littermate

Wikfrra = Larger littermate

Weesfwa = Smaller littermate

OFFSPRING

A baby cat, referred to as a 'kit' or 'kitten' is simply called a "mew." But that's not typically the word they're using when they're talking about their children. There's also additional words in Clanmew for the children of different litters, and how an auncle refers to their sibling's kittens.

Nia'u = Child/son/daughter

Neewarr = Litter

Niak = Child of first litter

Niawi = Child of second litter

Nia'eef = Child of third/any more litters

Rabnif = Nespring/nephew/niece

Niauga = Grandchild (of child you were the Ba of)

Nini = Grandchild (of child you were the Mi of, can be given for closeness)

Kurrnia = Stolen kit, rightfully won through battle (Archaic)

GRANDPARENTS

Garrmwa = Ancestor (For non-ancient ancestors that can still be tracked with deduction. Great grandparents, not Thunderstar.)

Sharrarram = Ancestors (For ancient ancestors, far beyond modern memory, who live in the stars. Thunderstar.)

Ami = Mi of my Mi (This can also be applied as a term of endearment. For example, Heartstar is the Ba of her kittens, but Tawnypelt is still Shadowsight's Sharrmi)

Garrmi = Ba of my Mi AND/OR Mi of my Ba (Like Ami, can denote a type of closeness.)

Genrrarg = Ba of my Ba/Someone who is still a grandparent, but not a close one. (This is the term that Breezepelt's kittens eventually use for Crowfeather)

Shegarra = Descendant (For the sake of completion; typically used by StarClan)

[uhshsmsmaka]

Kin list because I keep forgetting and I wanna keep it written so I remember

giving the biggest “please be my friend ur so cool please please please please” to whoever knows all of these characters

But I’ll say them here anyway, in order from the top left going right.

Mikey - rottmnt

SCP-035 - SCP Foundation

Tawnypelt - Warriors

Ennard - FNAF Sister Location

Dr. Iceberg - SCP Foundation

Moxxie - Helluva Boss

Space Kid - Camp Camp

Phone Guy - FNAF 1 (I think?? I never played the games..)

Phillip Graves - Call of Duty Modern Warfare (reboot)

uhhh idk if I label or spelt that right. I hope I did. That’d be kinda embarrassing if I didn’t lol..

———— why I kin them ig.

btw some stuff is headcanons like so and so being lgbtq and Graves having daddy issues

Mikey ROTTMNT- hell, there’s a lot of reasons.. it’s like… really personal with me lol

4th child, plus youngest. 3 older brothers and often gets left out, or brushed off from being involved. + aro/ace spec.

+ orange theme buddy agh I love u ur so pretty 💛💛

+ ADHD

SCP-035 - hmm.

Wants to watch the world burn, and is here for a good time and is really opportunistic with people, and often forms bonds with people for what they can give him… I’m a bad person I know. I’m trying to change.

+ Latin hehe

+ a lot of people really like him when they first meet, and learn the longer they spend with him, the worse he gets.

Tawnypelt - I’ll be honest, I don’t know much about her bc I didn’t read the 2nd arc, but from what I get, she seems to have struggled with gaining her own identity and being seen as someone other than a clone in her family. I struggle with people only knowing me for my brothers so I relate to her for this.

Also idk her leaving Thunderclan, despite her family, friends, and everything she knows and it being genuinely a good place she is comfortable and happy with— to Shadowclan so she can start a new life just touches me personally.

I don’t want to stay here. It’s not bad here, and everyone I love is here, but I don’t feel like I belong here, and I relate to her for it.

Ennard - yeah.. no, I got nothing. Idk why but he’s just like me fr.

Dr. Iceberg - HE’S AN ASSHOLE!!! I’m an asshole!!! Easily entertained, and doesn’t think of others that much, or the consequences of his actions. + mentally ill

+ bad taste in men

+ probably American with a small fraction of his ethnicity from Europe.

Moxxie - Daddy Issues. shit on by everyone. Underestimated kinda I guess???… and mixed morals. Often really polite— or at least is perceived to be, and is a thinker. Can go absolutely feral if necessary.

+ Italian I guess lmfao

+ short- ish..

+ adults and some older kids shall be referred to as ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’

Space Kid - he likes space. What can I say?

He’s so silly. A lot of the actions and stuff he does feels like stuff I would have done/do.

+ brown hair

Phone Guy - tries to help and probably fails. Hey, he’s trying.

Phillip Graves - Daddy issues. I also headcanon his dad was in the military and he moved around a lot and lived throughout the US, so he’s fairly decent at adapting to different places, and tolerate as hell. “It is what it is” mentality about most everything out of his control.

Finds that one person and looks up to them, and gets really clingy and obsessed with them. Doesn’t show it of course, but in his head he wants to impress them and please them in every way possible. *cough, Shepherd, cough cough*

(I met a lotta people I hyperfixated on giving away everything to make them happy. We’re just casual friends now. Except for that one. She was mean as hell to me. We still meet occasionally tho.)

Outside of headcanons, his personality and the way he acts is just very familiar and relatable to me.

+ American (wtf is a kilometer🦅🫡🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅💥🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸)

+ makes shitty jokes no one laughs at

[barovianfinewines]

Barovian Folk Tales & Rhymes

“The Vampire Song”

(after “Snow Beast,” by Leslie Fish)

Note: “Snow Beast” is from the Mercedes Lackey filk album Oathbound, arranged and performed by Cecilia Eng, a recording of which can be heard here.

I'm DMing Curse of Strahd and I love trickling out setting information to my players through stories and poems. This was too perfect not to adapt. Kids gotta learn that you can't just let strangers willy-nilly into your house, or they may eat you and everyone you know!!

Children playing in the wood Farther than they know they should Saw a stranger walking near Never stopped to think nor fear Skin like ice, eyes that gleam Things aren't always what they seem Nails too sharp, teeth too long Look for what you know is wrong! “O my dears,” the woman plead “I'm all alone and chilled near dead These woods aren't safe for one to roam Won't you take me to your home?” Stands too still, moves too fast No shadow nor reflection cast Pointed ears, pointed grin Look before you let them in! Despite her cold, unblinking stare She seemed so nice, she spoke so fair Foolish children did not question They forgot a vital lesson Skin like ice, eyes that gleam Things aren't always what they seem Nails too sharp, teeth too long Look for what you know is wrong! They did not wait to find a guard They led her straight to their own yard They did not think to ask their kin They brought her home and let her in Stands too still, moves too fast No shadow nor reflection cast Pointed ears, pointed grin Look before you let them in! Once she was within, surprise! She cast away her human guise Fangs grew long, claws sprang free A ravenous vampire was she! Skin like ice, eyes that gleam Things aren't always what they seem Nails too sharp, teeth too long Look for what you know is wrong! All that night down every street She stalked and slaughtered all she'd meet When sun peeked o'er the ridge too late The town had met a grisly fate Stands too still, moves too fast No shadow nor reflection cast Pointed ears, pointed grin Look before you let them in! For pretty words and pretty wiles Pretty looks and pretty smiles Those folks were slain and scattered all Because they let their caution fall Skin like ice, eyes that gleam Things aren't always what they seem Nails too sharp, teeth too long Look for what you know is wrong! Stands too still, moves too fast No shadow nor reflection cast Pointed ears, pointed grin Look before you let them in!

Note: The vampire "tells" listed in this rhyme are mostly taken directly from 2nd edition Ravenloft sources. In my game, they are mostly allusions to true, valid tells, though reality is of course more complex than the song would make it seem.

In the novel I, Strahd, Strahd disguises his nature by either wearing gloves or trimming down his long, sharp nails, and by combing his hair to cover the pointed tips of his ears, and doing literally nothing else. Yeah, he parts his hair differently and calls it a day. Fwiw at that point he's basically an infant (only in his 90s!) and gives precious few fucks. This is all in concordance with his writeup in Realm of Terror.

Van Richten's Guide to Vampires lists the most notable tells as cold, unnaturally pale/ashen skin (the color of which can be disguised by makeup or magic, or explained away by some rationalization such as chronic illness or an aversion to being out in the sun with the peasants) and the absence of a reflection (in any reflective surface, not just mirrors).

VRGtV takes great pains to note that vampires have teeth nearly identical to our own, perhaps to frustrate genre-savvy players. Realm of Terror, on the other hand, takes great pains to note that vampires (or, Strahd, at the very least) have ~retractable fangs~ which lengthen when "aroused or attacking." So, make of that what you will.

(In the interest of thoroughness, Realm of Terror also waxes quite poetic about Strahd's eyes: "dark and hypnotic, like deep pools with subtle reflections of red light, [which] when he is aroused or enraged... burn like red hot coals." So, make of that what you will. For better or for worse I've got a folder in my head for weird 90s vampire lore that's labeled "arousal.")