#It took 6 months from the initial doodle but I finally got around to it!

[secretnimh]

Here - have a baby Jason as Robin in these trying times

[tsipasce]

Same Difference, Ch.08

A/N: [ insert “Growth” gif]

Chapters: 01  |  02 |  03 |  04 | 05  | 06 | 07

AO3 | Fanfic

The weekend flew by, mostly thanks to the great time she had with Hitomi. Though after Saturday night’s events, Nanami’s only thoughts were on her friend’s suggestion to get self-defense training. Well, that and the cute doodles on a now-bookmarked page in her planner. She smiled to herself remembering that night and the unexpectedly pleasant company. The image of him sitting next to her as they joked brought a warmth to her face she was very reluctant to accept. Snap out of it and focus. She chastised herself as she quickly remembered what had happened earlier that night when she felt she couldn’t defend herself.

Sure it turned out fine, but what if he’d been more aggressive and I was alone? Or what if he had a quirk or got training to use it against people… Nanami didn’t finish the thought but she knew where it led and she was honest enough to admit it scared her. Sunday night she made a list of classes to check out. Usually being a thoughtful shopper, she figured it would be smarter to vet the classes by observing before diving in. She had an hour or so after work before she went to the lab, so why not squeeze in an errand?

Packing up her things, she headed out of the office, pulling up the directions on her phone. After a couple blocks, she arrived in front of a studio with large, glass windows and a dozen or so occupants inside. It wasn’t very long before she realized this wouldn’t be a class where she’d learn much. The “assailant” was really just some poor guy in a thick layer of padding, standing still as the students formed a line to shyly “punch” or “kick” him with all the brutality of a raucous pillow fight. Everyone moved at their own pace, but pragmatic as she was, Nanami knew whatever she learned from this class wouldn’t be enough to repel someone who really meant trouble. After checking out two other classes yielding similar results, she decided to give it a rest for the day and head to the lab. They had a lot of data to analyze from the most recent round of tests, and she wanted to get a leg up on preparations.

Parking in her regular spot, she walked up to the front gates and knocked. She cocked her brow in confusion after waiting for a minute. Where the heck is Kurono… Usually if she was due to arrive at 6:00pm, he’d be in the front room waiting with an extra cup of tea he’d just so happened to have made at 5:45pm. Despite their initial meetings, they’d gotten closer over the past couple months, trading looks when Overhaul was in one of his “moods” and taking breaks together. No one was as meticulous and punctual as Overhaul, but Kurono would definitely be a close second, so seeing him late was surprising. This is odd. Nanami began to think as the door opened and she was greeted by another man she’d seen in passing.

“Good evening, doc. This way, please.”

“Oh, good evening. Lead the way,” she said, brushing off the concern from earlier. It wasn’t unreasonable to think they’d changed schedule every now and then.

The man escorted her to the lab and shut the door, leaving her to some work she was happy to do alone. After Saturday night, she wasn’t completely sure how to interact with her lab partner. Sure they hadn’t necessarily done anything untoward, but it would be a lie to say it was nothing.

Five minutes passed by, then ten… once minute number fifteen rolled around she began to get Worried? Nope. We’re not going there today. It’s probably just “business” or something else shady. If he doesn’t think this research is important, that’s his loss. She convinced herself, a little irritated he’d blown her off without even one of his curt “I’m busy. We’ll speak later” texts. Just as she was about to mentally practice the argument she’d have with him when he finally decided to come in, the door burst open, startling her as she almost dropped the samples she was moving.

Turning towards the door, she saw the angry little Muppet, already preparing to hear some kind of smart remark. Thought everyone else had warmed to her in one way or another, Mimic made it clear the only person worth any courtesy was Overhaul. “Well how can I help you Mimi—”

“Please—please just come with me right now. I don’t have time to explain, just hurry and follow me!”  the small creature shrieked. Well, in a way, he always shrieked, but this time Nanami could hear a desperation she’d only heard during her E.R. days. Switching gears, she knew to drop what she was doing and follow him. Whatever he needed, it was serious.

Racing down the long, winding hallways behind him, she was grateful to have kept in some semblance of shape. Just before she reached her limit, they stopped at a familiar door. Her heart sank, Isn’t this his office? She realized before Mimic quickly opened the door and promptly closed it once they entered. She looked confused as she saw Overhaul lying face down on one of the couches in the office. Kurono was blocking most of her line of sight to him as he was kneeling by his side. Hearing the door close, he looked back, moving out of the way, a grave look on his face. As she took in the scene, she heard a voice croak out “I… I can’t reach...”. She was confused for a moment before she saw there was a sizeable, deep gash across Overhaul’s back and hives, Probably from being touched and carried in here she guessed. By the look of it, she knew even breathing had to be excruciating and even a contortionist would find it challenging to bend their arm behind their back to touch it. Traditional medicine would be a gamble…she thought, as she took off her gloves, resigning herself to the obvious option.

“Alright, lift him up, very gently.”  Nanami commanded firmly, noticing the significant blood loss.

“Touch me again and I’ll kill the lot of you.” He seethed as his subordinates backed away, knowing better than to take the threat lightly.

She tried to think quickly as she needed to see if there were any other injuries before acting. Remembering all the times he’d touched her yet hadn’t broken out, she decided to give it a shot. “Then I’ll do it.” She said resolutely. He mustered up enough strength to turn his head and glare in warning. She cautiously moved forward and knelt beside him to whisper. “You’ve touched me before without breaking out, remember? You and I both know there’s a time limit and the longer your wound is open, the harder it will be to repair. I promise I won’t let anyone else make contact, just let me help you.”

He seemed to accept she was right and that he had no other choice. The warning was still in his eyes, but he nodded reluctantly. Though moving him was a two person job, she knew she’d have to make due. With one of her hands at his head and another along his side she tried to keep his head, neck and back aligned while rolling him onto one side. She tried her best to be careful, but it was hard moving him at all without earning a wince and hiss. Good, it’s just the back. She confirmed noting the lack of blood underneath him as she quickly looked over him before her arms gave out.

Letting him down, she knelt down beside him, assessing the situation. His weak, but at least he’s conscious. I can do this. She reassured herself, not used to having such a captivated audience watching behind her. Usually when she’d used her quirk to fix something so drastic, she’d make sure she was alone with the patient and they were sedated. The Eight Bullets knew about her quirk, but it was still nerve-racking having to perform in front of so many eyes.

“Just do it” he exasperated from behind gritted teeth. He seemed to be bracing himself, but she was confused as to why.

Brushing it off, she took a deep breath, disassembling his shirt to get a better view of the wound. It was as bad, if not worse, than she thought. Within seconds she reconstructed the damaged bones, sinew and then skin until the wound vanished, earning her a sigh of relief from her patient and the onlookers.

“There you go, good as new.” She piped, almost slapping him on the back like a fixed car before stopping herself short and gently patting instead. “Who did this to you?” a note of genuine concern in her voice.

“It doesn’t matter, it was a cheap shot. None of them exist anymore.” He replied too simply for someone who’d probably just murdered multiple someones. Nanami never forgot what he was, but it didn’t make the regular confirmation any easier. “Kurono, Mimic: Leave us.” He added, now moving himself to rise from the couch.

They filed out of the room, Kurono looking back, giving her a small nod and thankful glance before closing the door behind them. Turning her attention back to him, Overhaul was already at the closet in his office, putting on another, identical shirt. Knew it. She thought remembering her theory about his wardrobe.

He continued buttoning it up, his back turned to her as he began,” How did you do that?”

“Um… the same way you do?” She replied, perplexed as to what he meant. She’d disclosed most of what she was able to do with their shared quirk already, and he’d shown that he knew how to heal himself. She’d become leagues more cooperative and transparent during their research, so the question caught her off guard.

“No, you don’t. It’s been a long day, and I’d greatly appreciate it if you gave up this little act and just explained it to me.”

“I... I don’t know what you mean…” Ok now I’m really confused…

He turned around, an obvious look of suspicion in his eyes, “I won’t ask again.”

Nanami was taken aback, insulted,” So I save your ass and in return I get an interrogation?”

“First of all, it was my back, not my ass. Secondly, I only interrogate uncooperative parties, so cooperate and explain how you healed me like that?” he intoned, now stalking towards her, an accusatory look still in his eyes.

“Like how? I have literally no idea what you mean!” Genuinely confused at why he was so angry with her all the sudden, she was really hoping he’d throw her a bone here.

“Without the pain!”

“…the what?” She looked at him searchingly before realizing what he meant, a pained and slightly embarrassed look on his face. Her tense stance relaxed before continuing, “Have you… just been feeling it all the entire time?”

“You haven’t?”

“Hell no,” she shot back before continuing, thinking out loud, “To feel every singular cell being ripped apart and put back together every time? That would be…” His eyes were no longer meeting hers, his jaw tightening, “…unbearable.”

Clinically, she knew they utilized their quirk differently, but seeing the real-world effects was another thing entirely. Of course, someone who’d grown up only weaponizing their quirk wouldn’t think about minimizing pain, and conversely someone who’d used it almost exclusively for healing would prioritize comfort. If it had just been a theory she’d concocted in a vacuum, she’d probably think it was fascinating, but now it just seemed… Sad. Knowing he’d been in that kind of pain for so long caused an aching in her chest.

“Do not pity me.” He seethed, misjudging the look on her face.

“What? No. Look, I know this may be a novel concept for you, but there is such a thing as empathy.”

“I have no use for that either.”

“You sure did a couple minutes ago when you were bleeding out.”

“Yes, and you were useful, as most tools are, but for now I need nothing else from you.”

She couldn’t help the look of hurt that flashed across her face, his hard stare unwavering. Looking him up and down with disgust, she knew it wasn’t worth the effort to continue the discussion. He was lashing out at her because he was embarrassed, and she wouldn’t tolerate it.

“This… was a mistake. Fuck you.”

She turned on her heel out of the office, slamming the door behind her.

Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. Fuuuuccckkk that guy. She cursed to herself as she stormed down the hallway and back to the lab. The nerve of him to be bleeding all over me, begging for MY help one second, just to turn around and humiliate me the next. Fuck him.

Bursting through the doors to the lab, Nanami saw Kurono redrawing one of her diagrams in their notes, “I’m sorry Dr. Watanabe, it’s nothing against you it’s just—Wait, what are you doing?” he asked, noticing she was angrily shoving her things into her bag.

“I’m leaving.”

Kurono sighed, confident that Overhaul had to have said something cruel. “I’m not sure what he said to you, but I do know he’s been lighter than he has been in a long time since you started working together.” He confessed, hoping it would strike a chord with her. She paused, a sad look crossing her face before it reverted to anger and she began packing again. “Is there anything I can do to convince you to stay?”

“Help me kick Overhaul’s ass and make him apologize.”

“… it has been a pleasure working with you.”

Pausing for a minute, her fists clenched in frustration, she realized what she’d be losing by leaving. “Just this morning I had one of the most exciting research projects of my career and felt like maybe we’d become just a little bit closer to… whatever counts as forward in this weirdass partnership thing. But he just had to piss it away.” It was upsetting to say the least, months of work would now come to a halt and collect dust, all because of his ego, “It’s not fair.”

Her eyes were trained on the ground, too angry and hurt to move when she heard him get up from his chair and walk over. She felt a comforting hand on her shoulder, “Care for one last cup of tea before you go?”

Sighing heavily, trying to release the tension from her shoulders, she nodded solemnly attempting to give a small smile, “Yeah, one more for the road.”

“Ok, I’ll leave you to your things. Come to the front room upstairs when you’re ready.” Kurono patted her shoulder as he walked past her, leaving her alone to finish packing up.

The anger was still present, but soon enough the sadness of loss came washing over her. No. We’ll feel all the feels later, let’s just get out of here she thought sniffling and recomposing herself. She was going through some papers when she heard the door open behind her.

“Sorry, Kurono, I’ll be done in just a minute,” she said, still focused on her task. When there was no response, she looked to see who came in, a grimace instantly plastered across her face. He walked over to the workbench across from her and stood quietly, his arms folded. She scoffed before turning back to her task, ignoring him. Packing up the last of her things, she glanced around briefly before her eyes landed on her planner that laid on the workbench he was in front of. Rolling her eyes, she marched over, standing only inches away from him before reaching past to grab the booklet behind him. As she turned to walk away, she thought she heard something.

“Excuse me?” she looked back at him, a tinge of irritation in his eyes. She rolled hers before turning again. “Why do I even ask...”

“I said, I’d like our partnership to continue.”

She was sure she was going to get whiplash from dealing with him, but responded anyway, unable to let this slide. “You have a real funny way of showing it.”

“But I am showing it, right now by asking you to continue.”

“You do not get to humiliate me and then just pretend like saying that will be good enough. You’re calling it a partnership right now, but a couple minutes ago I was a tool.”

“So, you’d give up all of this work because your feelings were hurt?” his tone cold and almost annoyed.

“Because my feelings were hurt? No, you disrespected me. I helped you—which I was glad to do—and you spit in my face. No thank you, no nothing. Partners don’t do that, at least not any I’d consider working with.”

“We may be partners, but our standing is not the same. My mastery of overhaul exceeds yours, thus you need direction.”

“You have a mastery of violence. Just because I don’t use it to fight or kill people whenever my ego isn’t stroked just the right way… that doesn’t make me lesser than you, and it certainly doesn’t make you better than me.”

“You agreed to come into this world knowing exactly what it was. This is not about ego, this is about the natural order of things here. You admit you couldn’t hold your own in combat, so where does that leave you in a world that bases order on the violence you’re abstaining from?”

“I’d say right next to you.” She stepped forward, solidifying the confrontation. “For all your power, you still had to be saved, by me. As far as I’m concerned, whatever fight you were in tonight would have been a draw without me, so who really decided the ‘natural order’? My value is the same, whether I’m inside or outside this world, and I will not stay where people refuse to see it just because it doesn’t conform to their narrow definition of it.”

He stared at her a beat searchingly as she stared back in complete defiance. She knew logically she’d have little recourse if he made the snap decision to disassemble her, but she wouldn’t want to live with herself if she let him think this was ok. As much as she lectured about ego, her pride never ceased to get the best of her.

“You…have a point.” He managed to get out, the words sounding like they were causing him physical pain. He couldn’t deny respect was paramount in the world of the underground and her demand for it was not unreasonable, not to mention how useful she could be in the future. However, for that to be true, he’d have to acknowledge the possibility that he was in the wrong, something he’d only ever done for his father, the only other person to save him. He knew what had to be done. He closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath, unintentionally inhaling what he knew was a light smell of lavender. She was standing much closer to him than anyone he wasn’t planning on fighting, but he found himself not loathing it. Savoring it for a moment, he turned to walk around to her side creating some much-needed distance between them. Clearing his throat by swallowing what could best be described as his own pride, he locked eyes with her. She was still royally pissed, but also watching intently, reluctantly curious.

“I…I do find you valuable. To compare you to a tool was… unfair.” By his tone and furrowed brows, she could tell this was difficult for him, but she needed to hear him say it. Her expression softened slightly, but she stood firm, waiting to hear the rest. She didn’t want to leave, but their arrangement couldn’t continue if he was going to treat her like he had earlier, and she needed to know he knew that. “You have my gratitude. I would like for you to reconsider your decision and to move forward… with me… on this project.”

It was a relief to hear, but he’d left out one important word. “… is this your way of saying sorry?” she asked, knowing the answer. His arrogance might not let him say it outright, but judging by how worked up he’d gotten, she was sure it was as close to an apology as anyone had heard from him.

“Think what you want,” he replied turning his gaze from her to stare at a cabinet that was suddenly very interesting. “… I won’t refute your assumption.”

Close enough. For now.

Her gaze dropped from his face as her hand massaged the back of her neck, resigning herself to this curve ball fate had thrown her. She sighed, walking back to the workbench, placing the notes down as they had been earlier. She went into her bag and retrieved a small box and began walking towards the lab doors.

“… Where are you going?” He asked, the slightest tinge of worry in his voice.

“Tea break and snacks.” She said waving the small box,” I’ll be back in 30. We can go over notes then.” She replied simply.

“… I see. I’ll be waiting then.” The subtle sound of relief in his voice did not go unnoticed. She paused, with her back still turned to him and spoke over her shoulder.

“Overhaul?”

“Yes?”

“To answer your question, I disassemble the nerve fibers connected to the tissue I’m repairing until I’m finished. I’d usually just rely on the anesthesia since most of the patients I work with have to go into surgery anyway, but in cases like tonight, that is how I do it without pain.” She explained before leaving the lab.

“…I see. Thank you.” He intoned with a level of sincerity that felt foreign to him. Though he’d never admit it, the sight of her lab coat hanging next to his brought a strange sense of comfort.

[thisweekingundamwing]

This Week in Gundam Wing 5-11 April 2020

Here’s this week’s roundup!

Remember to give your content creators some love! And join in on the events at the bottom!

~Mod Hel Sorry it’s a bit late!

Fanfiction/Snippets/AU Ideas:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb​

Every Moment (Ch. 4) https://archiveofourown.org/works/23153275/chapters/56342722

F/M, Heero Yuy/Reader

Heero Yuy, Reader, Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, OC - Character, Lady Une, Relena Peacecraft

Romance, Drama, Angst, Lemon, Lime, Violence, Reader Insert

You really didn’t want to go on a mission with Heero Yuy. In your opinion, he was a robot, an iceberg, and as cold as the North Pole. And you really hated the fact that people started spreading rumors about you. Now, you have two weeks to get to know him better, get comfortable with the idea of playing his wife, and keep from getting into a catfight with Wufei’s secretary (who has quite a crush on Mister Yuy herself). You thought you would be able to handle the mission, but a couple of alcohol influenced kisses really send your world spinning. And it would only get worse during the mission… And really… your careless actions do have very big consequences.

Best Easter Yet https://archiveofourown.org/works/23600803

F/M, Heero Yuy/Reader, Relena Peacecraft/Quatre Raberba Winner

Heero Yuy, Reader, Relena Peacecraft, Quatre Raberba Winner

Romance, Drama, Angst, Holiday, Reader Insert

“How are you holding up?”

You gave him a dire look and showed him your shaking hands. “Just so.”

He gave you a warm look and reached out, trailing the callused pad of his forefinger along your cheek. “We’ll be okay. She won’t be mad.”

@doctormegalomania​

Your Body’s Poetry (Ch. 13) https://archiveofourown.org/works/20438891/chapters/56441821

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei/Original Female Character(s), Duo Maxwell/Hilde Schbeiker, Relena Peacecraft & Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell/Original Male Character(s)

Characters: Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei, Sally Po, Relena Peacecraft, Lucrezia Noin, Zechs Merquise, Hilde Schbeiker

Additional Tags: Past Relationship(s), Slice of Life, Post-Break Up, Slow Burn, Developing Relationship, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence

Summary: Long after the wars, long after peace is established the Gundam Pilots discover one immovable fact: Relationships are hard work.

@janaverse​

Stickies form Heero (Ch. 42) https://archiveofourown.org/works/19796581/chapters/56347720

Heero Yuy & Duo Maxwell, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, 1+2+1, 1x2x1 - Relationship

Get Together, Friendship, Eventual Sap, Eventual Implied Sexual Content, Mentions of Trowa ⋆ Quatre ⋆ Wufei ⋆ Relena ⋆ Sally - for now, Angst

heero and duo are in their mid-20's and are sharing a house. they are both working as preventers, but are not on the same work schedule.

duo initiated this unique form of communication and heero has fully embraced it.

Fanart/Gunpla/Photo Manips:

@2pcb

https://2pcb.tumblr.com/post/614789407717949440/if-its-alright-with-you-can-i-request-trowa-or

WuFei, Heero, & Trowa

@binarytoys​

https://binarytoys.tumblr.com/post/614936465228595200

Leo, gunpla

@deathofakuna​

https://deathofakuna.com/post/614569779412582400/wing-zero

Wing Zero

@drawingplastered​

https://drawingplastered.tumblr.com/post/614891383342415872/my-participation-in-the-gundamzine-it-was-great

25th Anniversary babies! (or oldies in this case <3)

@grey-sentry​

https://grey-sentry.tumblr.com/post/614771208554184704/since-gundam-wing-turns-25-today-im-gonna-share

25th Anniversary boys!

@gundayum​

https://gundayum.tumblr.com/post/614810271462178816/oh-hi-i-come-bearing-content-heres-my-shit-i

Zine Works - All the cuties.

@guttersblessing​

https://guttersblessing.tumblr.com/post/614889648762880000/i-also-did-a-sticker-sheet-for-gundamzine-it

Zine Works

https://guttersblessing.tumblr.com/post/614889435945926656/for-gundam-wings-25th-anniversary-i-took-part-in

Zine Works

@gwkimmy​

https://gwkimmy.tumblr.com/post/614797022889984000/asdjlaskjdlksajf-i-spent-too-much-time-on-this-lol

Relena Darlian/Peacecraft, manip

HamletMachine

https://twitter.com/Hamlet_Machine/status/1245003275797135360

Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

@hiddenmangaka​

https://hiddenmangaka.tumblr.com/post/615067652830986240/grocery-shopping-with-the-gundam-boys-attempt-1

Grocery Shopping with the G-Boys - Heero Yuy, Attempt 1

@kaiser-dracon​

https://kaiser-dracon.tumblr.com/post/614804412813213696/mobile-suit-gundam-wing-top-players-gundam-wing

Wing Zero, Epyon, Tallgeese - gunpla

@ksam7​

https://ksam7.tumblr.com/post/614725326366490624

Duo Maxwell

@lemontrash​

https://lemontrash.tumblr.com/post/614799547879784448/this-is-the-vector-art-i-did-for-the-front-cover

Zine Work

https://lemontrash.tumblr.com/post/615071326954307584/i-cannot-draw-mecha-not-in-a-month-of-sundays-so

Gundam, manips

https://lemontrash.tumblr.com/post/615161818018627584/so-fun-story-when-i-was-first-playing-around

Zine Works

@lokineko​

https://lokineko.com/post/614764732354854912/some-gundam-wing-wips-for-the-anniversary

25th Anniversary boys, wip

https://lokineko.com/post/614839063093100544/this-is-the-piece-i-did-for-gundamzines-rhythm

Zine Work

https://lokineko.com/post/614929671580270592/this-is-my-piece-for-gundamzine-s-bonus-zine-for

Zine Work

@nevs-sketchbook​

https://nevs-sketchbook.tumblr.com/post/614950453149630464/more-gundam-doodles-featuring-trowa-being-a

Trowa, Quatre, & Cathy - Tro’s NB adventures.

@noromax​

https://noromax.tumblr.com/post/614689026855862272/25th

25th Anniversary boys!

@seitou

https://seitou.tumblr.com/post/614818666923671552/finally-free-to-release-these-out-into-the-world

Zine Works - the G-boys bein’ awesome.

@tatakaumono

https://tatakaumono.tumblr.com/post/614749458100584448/operation-meteor-happy-25th-anniversary

25th Anniversary - Operation Meteor

Photosets/Gifsets/Screenshots/Manga Pages:

@disturbed02girl

https://disturbed02girl.tumblr.com/post/614602092903006208/spaceheart-quatre-not-really-explained-here

Quatre ‘space heart’s Heero.

Head Canons:

@scarletlegionnaire

https://scarletlegionnaire.tumblr.com/post/614574488122736640/random-headcanon-of-1920s-noir-detective-quatre

Noir Detective Quatre

https://scarletlegionnaire.tumblr.com/post/614591278935605248/mandalorian-gundam-wing-crossover

Mandalorian Crossover

Fandom Discourse:

@lifeaftermeteor

https://lifeaftermeteor.tumblr.com/post/614648010876567552/epithets-the-pros-and-pitfalls

Writing advice - Epithets

@lemontrash

Quotes:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/614675005827072000/heero-i-want-to-do-something-nice-for-relena-but

Heero & Duo

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/615059988632698880/quatre-i-almost-got-surprise-adopted-yesterday

Quatre, Zayeed, & Iria

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/614946664989573120/quatre-i-really-dislike-snow-quatre-its-like

Quatre

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/614493662104190976/trowa-so-i-found-a-foolproof-method-of

Trowa, WuFei, & Duo

Calendar Events:

@gundamzine

Rhythm Generation: Shooting Stars, Celebrating 25 Years of Gundam Wing

https://gundamzine.tumblr.com/post/614746696097939456/zines-are-away-thats-right-folks-if-you

@gwcocktailfriday

Cocktail Fridays!

Post responses on Friday, during Happy Hour between 3 & 5 pm in your own timezone.

Here’s the prompt for Friday, April 17th! https://gwcocktailfriday.tumblr.com/post/615108959259492352/cocktail-friday-post-responses-on-friday-april

If anyone has ideas for prompts, PLEASE send them in! Our ask box is always open.

In need of SPRING prompts!

With the tumblr queue not working correctly... these may run out at the end of the month...

@memoriesofgundamwing

30 Day Challenge!

Day 5 Prompt https://memoriesofgundamwing.tumblr.com/post/614558663429996544/30-day-gundam-wing-challenge-day-5

Day 6 Prompt https://memoriesofgundamwing.tumblr.com/post/614647672163483648/30-day-gundam-wing-challenge-day-6

Day 7 Prompt https://memoriesofgundamwing.tumblr.com/post/614754284780814336/30-day-gundam-wing-challenge-day-7

Day 8 Prompt https://memoriesofgundamwing.tumblr.com/post/614824886163079168/30-day-gundam-wing-challenge-day-8

Day 9 Prompt https://memoriesofgundamwing.tumblr.com/post/614909458720669696/30-day-gundam-wing-challenge-day-9

Day 10 Prompt https://memoriesofgundamwing.tumblr.com/post/615021784539021312/30-day-gundam-wing-challenge-day-10

Day 11 Prompt https://memoriesofgundamwing.tumblr.com/post/615114288958406656/30-day-gundam-wing-challenge-day-11

@thisweekingundamwing

V_V I’m sorry, y’all had to see that. Lol https://thisweekingundamwing.tumblr.com/post/615214648773558272/thisweekingundamwing-motherfuckingchrist-it-says

[semisofthours]

distance isn’t going to make me stop loving you. [repost]

warning: unprotected sex, dirty talk, and a little bit of choking.

a/n: this is my first smut and I hope it is alright.

you and bang chan used to be really close friends in high school, some would mistake you two for a couple. sadly, you two never got together due to him being a hard-working trainee and you working on your art portfolio for college. it was quite difficult for both of you to hang out since you were an early bird while chan was a night owl. luckily you two still found a little bit of time to keep in contact, whether it be a phone call or a small coffee break.

something that the both of you kept to yourselves for a majority of the friendship was feelings towards each other. you were always head over heels for chan and chan always felt lucky and proud to have you in his life. he was actually the first one to confess his feelings towards you.

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿          flashback.           ✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

the whole of stray kids was at your place, you cooked them a ton of food while most of them were playing video games in the living room. chan wrapped his arms around your waist and whispered into your ear,

“you know, I love you y/n.”

this didn’t completely catch you off guard but you sarcastically replied, “well duh, I’m great. who wouldn’t love me chan?

he pressed his chin on top of your head and sighed.“no silly, I’m in love with you.”

you were speechless, unable to comprehend what you just heard. your entire body tensed up and your face turned a whole different shade of pink.

“chan, have you been drinking? you get awfully affectionate when you drink, darling,” you say softly as you face him and wraps your arms around his waist.

“y/f/n y/m/n y/l/n, I love you so much. it makes me feel drunk.”

you couldn’t help but cry when you heard those words, “c-chan I love you too but we’re not going to be together for long. y-you know that...” you say softly while hiding your face into his chest.

“I know doll, but the distance isn’t going to make me stop loving you. I can pinky promise that” he said in such a calm tone while confidently holding out his pinky.

“Okay, but if you break this promise then I won’t know how to forgive you,” you state while making serious eye contact.

chan pressed his lips all over your face and you were just laughing the whole time because he’s so damn cute.

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　                          ✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

after that night all you could think about was distance, how would it affect you, chan, and the relationship as a whole… would he end up falling for someone else?

once you and chan went your separate ways, those questions started to disappear from your mind. you and chan focused so much on your careers that it separated the two of you. as much as you love chan, you know that his career is way more important than you. it’s all he wanted and you know you shouldn’t take that from him. 

you being the person you are, you tried your hardest to make sure chan and the rest of stray kids took care of themselves, even if that meant spending $100+ on food for them...

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　                          ✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

July is never a busy month for you so you spent a lot of time designing future tattoos and creating music on the side since it seemed to relax you. Luckily, you only had one appointment for the whole of July and you don’t even know what this person looks like. they also want a surprise tattoo so this session is just going to be amazing.

the morning before the session, the mystery person calls and suggests to have a larger design ready for them. since you were thoroughly prepared, you tried to talk about a price but the callers simply state, “I’ll pay you whatever you’re willing to take.” which left you in a total blur. that voice seemed familiar but you couldn’t put your finger on it.

FINALLY, YOU’RE MEETING MYSTERY MAN WITH SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE WORK. you spent hours making sure your entire studio was crisp and clean. for some reason you felt extremely nervous, you began playing some music that you love to sing and dance to. you spent what feels like forever singing and dancing to pass time (it was really 10 minutes of singing and dancing). you finally hear your client at the door and once you open the door you were hit with a wave of emotions.

you were trying your hardest to keep your composure but you just couldn’t stop the tears from coming out of your eyes,”c-channie? is it really you??” you exclaimed while covering your eyes. “hi doll, it’s really me. your channie!” he says while wrapping his arms around you,” I’m not actually here for a tattoo but I did want to see what could’ve been on my skin.” he states while bringing you back into your own home.

as you wipe your face, you quickly got up and grabbed your designs. “well, since I didn’t even know it was you!! I drew like 6 different things. cherry blossom tree, koi fish, a microphone, and different landscapes.” you said happily, “I’m quite proud of all of these, especially the landscapes.” you notice chan flip through your designs and finally looks up at you, “wow. they are all phenomenal y/n. I especially love the cherry blossom tree!” he softly states as his heart flutters for you.

“thank you chan but what the hell are you doing here??? I thought you and the guys have a bunch of important things to do.” you nervously claim while grasping his hands.

“I do have important things to do and seeing you is the most important thing I have to do today. I have missed you so damn much y/n, it’s making me crazy.” he pauses for a moment and moves you onto his lap.

“I miss holding you, miss your scent, the way you whine my name whenever I don’t do something for you. I miss making you and your heart flutter, miss your kind words, your random doodles, I just miss you, darling,” you felt him tense up as you tried to get comfortable on his lap, “ahh chan, you know you can always call me or come over,” you say in a slight seductive way, “I’ll always make time for you, as you said many months ago distance isn’t going to make me stop loving you.” you couldn’t help but grab chan’s face just to bring it closer to you. “You took the words right out of my mouth y/n. I can’t believe you remember that.“ chan’s hands wrap around your waist so tightly you could feel his heart pound against your skin.

"Can I please kiss you? it’s been so long since I’ve kissed your beautiful face.” chan whispers into your ear. all you did was a nod in excitement which made your body grind up against chan’s thighs. as chan was kissing your body, you couldn’t help but squeak and whimper very slightly at his warm touch.

you felt a little embarrassed at the small noises you made and decide to get up,“ I’m sorry… I’m being noisy.” you mutter while grabbing his hand,“ but I need you so badly. I need your touch and your love baby…” his eyes start to glisten in a way you’ve never seen before, he decided to get up and follow your steps.

“my baby doll is being needy, I haven’t heard you whine for me in a long time.” he states while sitting on your bed, “come on doll, I’ll take good care of you.”

as you crawl into bed, chan immediately moves you onto his lap. you felt his lips quiver along your skin as you slowly grind amongst his member. as much as you wanted to pick up the pace, chan just wanted to take things slow and savor every moment with you.

your hands roam his torso as he left marks along your collarbones, “let us take this off chan, I want to admire your amazing figure.” you whisper while playing with the bottom of his shirt. he quickly obeys your request and you felt your eyes widen, “have you been working out? your muscles look so defined!!” you say in excitement.“ well, of course, I’ve been working out, I wanted to look my best for you.” “you’ll always look amazing in my eyes baby!” you exclaim while placing your face onto his shoulder, “hold on channie, I have a surprise for you.”

you got up, played some music, and slowly started stripping for chan, while also dancing to the music. you were in black lingerie which showed off all of your own tattoos.

chan was completely mesmerized by the way you put on a show for him, his pants restricted his member which made him crave you even more,“ darling comes here now… I need to be in you.” he stated in a dominant tone. as you slowly crawl back onto the bed chan places his hands on your face and passionately kisses you. you felt his craving for you, so you took the initiative to pull down his pants. “all these years, you’ve been hiding this from me?” you stated while grasping his full member into both of your hands,“ my goodness baby… do you think you can handle me? I don’t want to hurt you.” chan mumbles as he thrusts into your hands. you softly chuckle as he worries, “channie don’t worry, I’ll make sure you fit. now, let me taste you.”

you left a trail of kisses along his torso and hips, he was a whimpering mess for you and my god you loved it. as he filled your mouth, you felt his hands grip your hair which made you moan against his member. he softly moaned out,

“y/n~ o-oh my god. your mouth feels so fucking good.” as you listened you felt his hips buck which made you gag a bit. “y/n if you don’t stop, I will literally cum in your dirty mouth.” you hummed against his member as you stare into his eyes while feeling him tense up even more. he forcefully pulled out of your mouth, grabs your waist, and positions your bottom in front of his face, “baby, you’re being naughty. I wouldn’t want to punish you right now.” he says while running his finger between your slit.

you buried your face into your bed while squirming at his touch,“ please touch me… I need you…” you whimper softly which sound like music to chan’s ears. he removes your underwear and slowly pushed his finger into you, your body decides to move into his finger and make soft moans into your bed. “my darling is so tight, I can’t wait to stretch you out. I can’t wait to see you whine and whimper just for me.” he said softly while leaning towards your thighs,“ I just love every part of you so damn much.” you felt his lips press against your skin and instantly perked your bottom up for him.

“my g-goodness, m-more, please… channie please.” he smirks and slaps your bottom, “not yet darling, I don’t think you can handle my cock just yet.” chan slowly puts another finger in you and kisses your hole very gently, “you’re dripping y/n, you taste so good.” he hummed against your skin which caused you to squirm even more. as he picked up the pace, you felt yourself getting closer and closer to your climax. “I’m t-too close baby. please please get inside of me.” he softly chuckles as he pulls his fingers out and positions himself at your slit, “okay love, are you ready? if it hurts please tell me.”

you nod quickly and push yourself closer to chan,“ yes yes, please fuck me.” he slowly pushes himself into you and grips your waist tightly, “holy shit, you are so so so tight. so tight and wet for me, aren’t you?” a mix of moans and whimpers fill the air as you struggle to answer him.

his hips bucking at an unsteady pace which makes you weak. chan sits back onto the bed and pulls you onto of his lap,“ please ride me, baby, I need to admire you.” you catch your breath for a moment and slip his member into you, “channie you’re fucking huge…” you bit your lips and wrap your arms around his neck while pushing yourself all the way down. you can feel chan’s breath along your skin, you slowly grind amongst his member.

chan lets you take your time, you moved your hands towards his neck in hopes to restrain his breathing for a little bit. “hmm, what do you think you’re doing sweet cheeks? do you want to choke me?” all you do is nod while slowly adding pressure to the base of his throat, as he slightly struggles to breathe you decide to pick up your pace quite a bit.

you made sure all of him was in you, hitting your sweet spot every time you push down. you tried your hardest not to make loud noises but chan made that impossible for you, “channie please please pound into me, please please.” that plead came from your gut and chan felt it.

he quickly placed you onto your back and pushes himself all the way into you, grazing your sweet spot again. chan muttered curse words and your name constantly, making you feel even better about letting him fuck you. chan rubbed your slit gently while ramming himself into you as fast and rough as he can. you moaned and whimpered loudly while gripping chan’s blonde hair.

“i-i need to c-come…” you were clenching around chan’s member and trying to hold yourself together until he says that you can come, “channie, please… I need it.” you whined and plead for him to let you reach euphoria and finally, he pulls out and replaces his member with his wide tongue. “y/n~ come now, baby. come all over my face.”

finally, you were able to let yourself go and my god, chan looked like he was ready to have another round. as your high came down, you realized he hasn’t come for you just yet. “babyyyyy I want your load in me!!”

chan chuckles and squeezes your cheeks, “okay darling, open nice and wide for me.” he states while positioning himself by your lips. you quickly obliged and placed your hands on his thighs. he thrusts himself into your mouth while gripping your hair, he was close to his climax but just wanted to admire how you looked with his member stuffed into your mouth. “ahhh y/n~ you look so good right now. oh fuck.”

he kept hitting the back of your throat which made your eyes water and you gag. after one last thrust, he finally released his load all into your mouth and you hummed in complete pleasure.

“I missed you so much channie~ I love you so damn much!” you whisper while laying down beside him, “thank you for this baby. I love you too y/n.”

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿          aftercare.           ✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

“Let us take a nice warm bath, I feel like I was quite rough with you today.” chan says as he sits up, “I’ll only take a bath if you carry me to it,” you said jokingly as he quickly rushes to start the bath. all of a sudden you’re in the bathtub with chan’s fingers brushing through your hair and rubs your body very softly which made you melt into his arms.

after the nice and calm bath, you put on chan’s old sweatshirt that he lent you many years ago. “y/n I’ve been looking for that sweatshirt for years!!! why didn’t you tell me it was with you?!” he exclaimed as he crawls into your bed. “You never asked me about it baby, so it’s mine until you ask.” you jokingly said while sticking out your tongue and crawling into bed. ”also, I think I look much better in this sweatshirt than you do baby. it just fits me so perfectly.”

chan laughs as he brings you up to his face,” whatever you say y/n. anyways goodnight my sweet peach, you’ll need to rest for what I have prepared for tomorrow.” your face showed clear shock but you refused to argue since you were just so tired, “okay channie, I love you so much!! goodnight.”

“I love you too y/n… sweet dreams,” he says before kissing the top of your head and slowly falling asleep with your head on top of his chest.

[xellychan040]

Are you doing that otp questions? If so, can you do SubScorp :eyes:

Like..........half of this is stuff i’ve more or less talked to with @noobsexbot

Also I’m sorry if this is slap dash and shoddy, it’s fuck o’clock in the morning for me fhdhshsd. It took me a minute to do this because I lost the meme questions and just plain forgot about it, RIP.

1) Who rocks the Ferris Wheel seat and who flips out and begs them to stop? Normally neither, but occasionally Hanzo is onery and likes Kuai’s grumpy face.

2) Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, at any place and at any time?  I would love to say both of them, but especially Hanzo, because I love horndog Hasashi.... however, I’d say they’re into experimenting and will occasionally do something rather adventurous, but in general will mostly fall asleep in each other’s bed, still wearing their day clothes.  

3) Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time? The both of them like the closeness of bathing together, be it a quick shower in the SF barracks or a long bath in the springs or wide pools of their respective temples. It varies who’s into taking it into another level, but generally, Hanzo gets friskier more often.

4) Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on? That’s definitely Hanzo. Especially in his private rooms. The habit rubs off on Kuai, but even then, Kuai only relents to being mostly naked if he has Hanzo’s silk robe. 

5) Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight? Neither. Hanzo broods and Kuai pretends to sleep or buries himself in reading, but they wont leave each other until they’ve at least reached somewhat of an understanding. Mostly, if they need time apart, then they’ll just say so without being petty and go and attend to chores and duties they’ve been putting off.

6) Who takes photos of the other while they sleep? Kuai. He likes Hanzo’s sleepy grumpy face.

7) Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”? Ghghg, it’s kind of a tie? There was a lot of mincing their words and promising each other the moon and the stars before they even officially got together. Eventually, they just kinda wordlessly admit it. After the fact, Kuai definitely says I love you to break up a tiff before it escalates into a real argument tho.   

8) Who likes to wear the others sweatshirts? Kuai. He loves wearing Hanzo’s colors and elaborately woven tops. He likes sleeping bundled up in Hanzo’s freshly washed shirts.  

9) Who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had? Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after? Both. They speak a lot of dreams and bygone wishes and future hopes. They also both have unsettling dreams of their pasts. Kuai regrets his cruel childhood, Hanzo laments of all the ways he’s failed those closest to him. They dont sing, but they do speak of poetry or the way promising students are advancing in their classes.  

10) Who is more likely to cheat at games (cards, board games, etc.)? Kuai. The Lin Kuei taught them how to count cards and beat the odds in most games of chance to better blend in should the occasion call for it. Hanzo hates how soft and pleasant Kuai’s poker face is. 

11) Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship? HHHHHH. Kuai is...........both. He's both so flustered and pleased he landed such a sweet fiance. 

12) Who starts a food fight in the kitchen? Hanzo. Again, he likes Kuai’s grumpy face. Plus it’s a chance for some intimate clean up

13) Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer? Egh. Neither. I guess Hanzo can hold a better tune. Kuai can probably play simple instruments. 

14) Who starts the hand holding? Who grabs the others butt? Who slides their arm around their waist? Who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops? So, Kuai is the hand holder. He just loves tangling their fingers together. He’ll pinch Hanzo’s ass tho, and cheeks, and biceps. Hanzo is more likely to grope Kuai tho. And will possessively wrap his arms around Kuai. The both do the belt loop thing.

15) Who likes writes the others name on their wrist? Kuai. Kuai would write his name on Hanzo’s palm, and Hanzo would reciprocate. Also, Kuai just likes doodling Hanzo’s name in various languages.

16) Who is more seductive when they are drunk? and who is louder in bed? Kuai. He’s a sloppy, slutty drunk if you can get him to drink that much. Very needy and cuddly. But, hes also loud in bed. Lost of shocked moans and gasps because he’s still not used to being touched without violence. 

17) Who is more protective? Both of them, but Hanzo’s protectiveness is more, like, obvious. 

18) Who talks to the other while they are sleeping? Kuai. He pets Hanzo’s hair and murmurs bits and pieces of his wandering thoughts aloud.

19) Who drives and who has the window seat? Well. Hanzo is more likely to teleport them both from place to place. Kuai’s favorite seat is inside Hanzo’s arms, I suppose. 

20) Who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed? Kuai will dip off to sleep if he’s comfortable and over stressed. He’s trying so hard to be a good Grandmaster sometimes he over frazzles himself and he passes out mid paperwork review. Hanzo will cart him off to bed and wrap around him for a few hours.

21) Who cuts the others hair? Neither, tbh. They occasionally help each other trim up their beards tho.

22) Who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day? Does erotic poetry count? because both of them. The poetry kinda doubles as motivational and frisky. 

23) Who thinks they are not good enough for the others love? and who’s more afraid of loosing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry? Both of them. They both need the occasional reassurance that theyre okay now, things arent as they once were.  

24) Who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground and kisses them? Slow dancing or just, moving in each other orbit’s is a thing both of them will initiate. Hanzo likes grabbing and manhandling Kuai, especially for kisses. 

25) Who says shitty puns and sex jokes just to see the other giggle and blush? Kuai. His sense of humor is awful. mostly ice puns tho. Hanzo doesnt giggle or blush, just huffs and kisses Kuai’s self-satisfied grin away.

26) Who kissed first? Hanzo. They’d been teasing and dancing around each other for months. Finally, Hanzo took a chance and kissed away Kuai’s coy smile. 

27) Who orders take out at two in a morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark? Kuai. He cant cook. Hanzo is.................reluctantly doting. Hfhfhf. It’s just who he is.

28) Who writes poems/stories and love songs about the other? Do they sing the songs the write for them? They both do the poetry thing. They have a game of quoting poetry back and forth for each other.

29) Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires? Eh. It depends. They’re both idiots but neither one of them are into showboating all that much. I suppose Hanzo would do the stunt. Kuai would just cluck his tongue and ask if thats the example he wants to set for the students.

30) Who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute? Kuai wears reading glasses. He’s so adorable and doddering looking in them. Hanzo will immediately drag Kuai away for some frisky shenanigans. 

[klassikally]

Sirius black is an artist headcannon

Okay just listen up I 100% believe that Sirius Black was an AMAZING artist

It started when he was young and bored during his mandatory tutoring sessions that he was forced into as soon as he began to show signs of magic

At the beginning it was just random doodles here and there on the margins of papers, books anything he could get his hands on

Walburga hated it, stating that art was only made by the poor for the rich to enjoy and that art was most certainly not an acceptable hobby for the male heir of the black family or some bullshit like that

She did everything she could to stop him from drawing as a child from only providing him with quick quotes quills to making a scene of incendioing any small doodles she found

However she wasn’t the only one who noticed his talent his older cousin Andromeda gifted him a set of quills and paints enchanted to look like books for his 11th birthday as well as a notebook with an endless supply of paper

It was his first gift that he truly treasured and once he began to paint (first with watercolors) he felt so alive it was almost as if his magic ingrained itself into his artwork

Sirius had always seen things in his own way. He was able to find beauty in things that were ugly, familiarity in the strange and home in the foreign. This gift allowed his art to flourish and at the same time his art allowed him to show how he saw the world in a tangible way.

Once he got to hogwarts his subjects of painting were able to become so much lighter and more alive no longer was he confined to painting dark still life’s of random objects and corners of 12 Grimwauld Place

For a while he kept it a secret his mother’s dissaproval resounding in his head whenever he thought he had enough courage to show the boys, fearful that he would be labeled a “pounce” or something along those lines

But one day in third year he was studying alone with Remus and wasn’t able to help himself from sketching the boy, the way his hair was both messy and perfect at the same time, his skinny frame which could never seem to gain weight no matter how many cholocate frogs he ate and the way the pink raised lines crossed over the bridge of his nose, his freckles cheeks and sharp brow

Over the past few years his style had changed from mainly still life’s to scenes from hogwarts and creatures that he would find around the grounds

However he had also recently been drawing and painting portraits now using both watercolor and gouache paints he found himself sometimes sketching out and painting those who he spent most of his time with

He had a few of James some depicting him just lounging around the common room. Sirius’s favorite of him was the short sketch of his best friend flying, he had also painted a few of lily and the other Gryffindor girls giggling amoungst themselves, one of Peter red in the face after his first kiss (on the cheek) and even one of McGonagall her stern eyes behind her specticals

But there was no person who took up the pages of his sketchbook more than Remus Lupin. Some of the images were small deatailed studies others were quickly sketched as if he were trying to keep the moment forever

Nonetheless Remus saw the book that day but decided to keep quiet about it until the two got back to their dorm later that night James down at quidditch practice and Peters snores coming from behind the curtains of his bed

At first Sirius had slightly panicked when Remus confronted him but once the initial anxiety was gone and he handed the book over to Remus to look through he felt more pride in his talent than ever before the two of them staying up long into the night with Sirius finally being able to explain the art that he was making to someone else

Eventually James and Peter found out and Sirius realized that his fears were only fears the other two loved his work and eventually his trio of friends convinced him to not hide his work from the world any longer

Soon Sirius became known as the artist at hogwarts he would create banners for quidditch games, sell painted cards for Christmas and Valentine’s Day and even have his painting of the Gryffindor tower hung in the common room

Every year after that he was gifted supplies and canvases by his friends for his birthday and Christmas and they would know that if he wasn’t in class or pranking with the other mauraders that he could always be found in the studio that he’d created in the room of requirement

Over the years his art began to diversify he still did portraits and architcheure but soon it also began to turn a bit abstract the traditional style he’d come to teach himself mixing with line work and minimalism as well as different colors textures and ways of thinking

He also began to wear his work painting pairs of muggle jeans and dabbling in creating patches and designs on his leather jacket (gifted to him by James for his 15th birthday along with his first full pack of cigarettes)

Over time the boys began to understand that Sirius used the art to convey thoughts and emotions that he otherwise didn’t know how to articulate.

After holidays and really any interactions with his family his art would often be darker showing a glimpse of what all was going on in the black home

Sirius even came out through his art first to his muse, who to no ones surprise was Remus who choked up at the sight of the portrait of himself the first time he was able to really see his body and believe whenever he heard Sirius whisper that he was beautiful when he thought the other boy wouldn’t hear

During the summer holiday before his 6th year he would send small paintings to the other boy done silently at night in order to not be discovered by his mother

He had a small collection of unfinished canvases he had brought home to try and work on over the summer however one night kreacher found them and alerted Walbuga and Orion Black

The two saw this as their blood traitorous sons last straw cursing the boy and sending his work up into flames before blasting his name off of the family tree.

He only had enough time to grab his beloved sketchbook, jacket and set of paints before flooing to the Potters. Bruised, bloodied and covered in the soot of his artwork

After this his art turned even more dark the depression very evident, there was no longer likeness to anything in his work it was haunting to look at but no less beautiful the only other time the mauraders saw work even close to this was after ‘the prank’ that almost ripped them apart and sent Sirius into a month of isolation the previous year

Eventually it returned back to his semi normal style but it was never the same and as the threat of war grew during their last two years it seemed the young man was desperately trying to capture every happy moment he could with the family he had made at hogwarts

After graduating Sirius was one of many to join the Order in the fight against Voldemort. Despite the constant threat over their heads his art never stopped instead it was probably the one thing keeping him sane

He would sketch every single member of the Order no matter how much they did for the organization only painting in their picture if they died

He even secretly painted one for Regulus when the news of his death reached the order despite the fact that the two hadn’t spoken in over a year

Soon he felt he had too many painted portraits

When Remus was away on a long undercover mission with the werewolves he felt he could barely hold up his pencil or even draw a basic shape only creating one piece of art in the 3 months that his boyfriend was away

When Lily got pregnant his joy seemed to resume he gave the couple the collection of paintings he had done of her and them throughout the pregnancy when Harry turned 6 months

When his godson got a bit older his firsts gifts to the boy was a miniature broom (that to Lily’s dismay almost killed their damn cat) and a set of child safe paints that he and the boy would dip their fingers in and get more on the floors than the paper whenever he and Remus would babysit

He also did a painting of the boy around early October of 1981 and gifted it to the couple the same night that he and James had decided to actually make peter the secret keeper

On October 31st he had been painting in the cottage that he and Remus shared. All night he had felt a sort of dread and by 10pm he couldn’t take it anymore, his boyfriend out at a meeting with Dumbledore and he had been trying to finish a painting over the past several hours and only seemed to be messing it up more every minute

He decided to fly his bike to James and Lily’s place thinking that it wouldn’t be long and that he’d rather not apparate that night.

About an hour later he arrived to a dark and destroyed home his heart in his throat he stood for a second his mind not comprehending what had happened fast enough only to be woken from his trance by a cry that he knew to be his godson.

Rushing through the broken door his heart nearly stopped at the sight of James lying dead at the base of the stairs his eyes still open and glasses cracked.

Another cry made him pass the body of his best friend, his brother not before gently removing the spectacles and closing his friends eyes. He rushed up to the nursery only to find young Harry in his crib crying down at the body of Lily lying right before him. The paintings that he and Harry had made were still hanging from the wall

He was met at the door by Hagrid about an hour later after sobbing with Harry in his arms he had almost cursed the gameskeeper when he suggested taking harry before begrudendly deciding not to fight Dumbledore at the moment and planting one last kiss on his godsons head before letting Hagrid take him and the bike to Lily’s muggle sister

The next morning Remus Lupin trudged into the cottage that he and his boyfriend Sirius Black had once shared. He had just found out about the mans betrayall and watched him get dragged away after killing another of their friends

Upon entering the living room he saw a mess of paints and cloth two easels set up one with a painting of the Potter family the fucking bastard had some nerve and the other half finished the reference photo still charmed to float next to it

The other canvas no bigger than a textbook so far it was just their hands and faces his forehead was resting on top Sirius’s long black hair the other mans head resting on his chest both had small content smiles on their faces his eyes followed the brown sketch lines down to their hands collapsed together this was the last picture that the pair had taken together and was so lifelike the only difference is that there was a single golden ring on his second finger that he didn’t own.

That he had almost destroyed every piece of Sirius Black more times than he could count. His mind raced with different spells he could use the idea of waiting until the next full moon and destroying them as the wolf even came up once or twice

But he found himself unable and instead he just left he locked them all up and left them in the basement of their old house

The next morning he left everything behind besides the two final paintings and the sketchbook that held ten years of art that he couldn’t seem to let go of

[gothtistic-stims]

I was feeling invalid

Quick warning: the is a *long* post, and the invalidity I felt was actually remedied by writing this, so do not feel obligated to read it all! Sure, when I was younger I chose to be alone a *lot*, but I had friends. I was socially awkward, sure, but what 5 year old is really that great at being social? Yeah, whenever I went somewhere new I would cling to my sister and be completely unable to make new friends, but by the same token, at a *very* young age I figured out an algorithm for making and maintaining friendships: compliments! I think it was when I was 8 that I figured this out, which was fortunate because at around 7 kids were no longer friends with the entire class, and making friends was no longer easy. At 7, I found myself alone at recess nearly every day, hyperfixated on finding 4-leaf clovers (I was finding at least 1 a day at one point), so when I discovered the compliment algorithm I was able to smoothly transition and continue making friends. Of course, I still chose to be alone for a vast majority of recesses. But being asocial doesn't mean I'm autistic. I was an extremely naiive child, kids easily lied to me and I believed them. But being naiive in and of itself doesn't necessarily mean I'm autistic. When I was in kindergarten I was friends with someone. Close friends. In first grade, however, she avoided me like I was the plague. I cried and cried, and even confronted her, and she basically just told me "idk, I guess I just don't really like you." But having a person dislike me doesn't mean I'm autistic. I was always moving as a child, I had attention problems, and I also was diagnosed with both adhd and ocd when I was only 8. I talked too fast and was known to mumble (I say "was" as if I don't still do those things now lol). I also many times forget the word I want to use, and I end up blabbering nonsense trying to figure out how to convey what I want to say. Sometimes I don't forget whole words, I can't translate my thoughts because my thoughts aren't organized like normal thoughts. A majority of the time I am thinking in either pictures or feelings rather than words, and I simply can't say anything related to the topic I want to talk about because in my mind there are literally no words to even begin explaining it. I'm 1000% better at writing than talking. But speech problems don't necessarily mean I'm autistic. I guess I had experience with going partially nonverbal, but I never had a word to describe being physically unable to speak or initiate conversations unless spoken to first. But again, going partially nonverbal sometimes doesn't mean I'm autistic. When I was little my sister was diagnosed with aspergers. She would throw huge tantrums/melt down easily, so a lot of the focus went to her. I never really had any melt downs. In fact, when I was 6, my sister paid me a nickle to not cry in front of her, and it took *years* to be able to cry in her vicinity again. However, I was certainly not immune to crying; I was an empath. If you were crying, chances were I was crying too. Whenever my sister had a meltdown I would feel her pain, and I would hide in my favorite place underneath the same chair. I *had* to cry there. But high empathy doesn't mean I'm autistic - in fact, there's even a stereotype that autistics don't feel empathy at all. When I was 11, I was half forced out of my friend group and half decided for myself to leave it. I had one friend at the time, and she (let's call her "M") was hella popular. I never fit into the friend group. I was invited to fewer and fewer parties as time went on, and no one in the group except for my one friend liked me. Eventually she stopped liking me too, and I was left to fend for myself. But being disliked doesn't mean I'm autistic. I was briefly friends with the girl I was assigned to share a seat with on the bus. We started a whole mini show routine that we would do every day on the bus. It was called the Stupid and Cupid Show. Despite my efforts to get her to change the name, I was stuck being known as "Stupid." I never realized at the time how horrible that name made me feel, but it didn't matter, because eventually she left me as well. As is said in the last paragraph, being disliked doesn't mean I'm autistic. In seventh grade I was looped into a whole strange "family" (which is a story for another time) and suddenly had a *ton* of people considering themselves to be friends with me. It was around then that I realized I was touch averse, because PEOPLE I DIDN'T KNOW KNEW MY NAME AND KEPT HUGGING ME WITHOUT ASKING. Fortunately this didn't last long either, because like all of my frienships, it dissolved pretty quickly. This time, however, everyone blamed me for something I didn't do, and I was left with that entire huge group hating me. I didn't even find out why everyone suddenly hated me until a year later. But useless teen (not even, we were like ~11-12 years old) drama doesn't mean I'm autistic. My entire time in middle school was honestly horrible. My typical algorithm for making friends stopped working, and while I found a temporary replacement (empathizing with people as conversation) it was not nearly as effective. I was never exactly bullied per se, I just got stuck in the same classroom with some really fuckin mean people. I called them all "Tapper Dude." They would bang out off beat tunes on their desks *constantly*. This banging was sensory HELL ( though i didn't know the term "sensory hell" yet). I was going home and often crying because of the stress of being trapped with these people who wouldn't stop (the teachers didn't even try to stop them despite my many, many complaints). I couldn't do anything, couldn't work,couldn't concentrate, and would literally beg my teachers to let me work in the hallway so I could finally have some peace. They literally never let me work in the hallway, despite it being silent (except for that damn banging) individual work. ( I'm honestly still fuckin pissed that my teachers did nothing to help me!) But being hypersensitive to some banging on a desk doesn't mean I'm autistic. Jumping back to never being able to sit still, I still stim today. Not nearly as much then as I do now though. The need to stand rather than sit in my desk at school coulde easily be attributed to my adhd. On top of needed to stand, I was always doodling on my worksheets. Teachers would make me redo the entire sheet if they found my doodles, or they would grab my drawing off of my desk and crumple it up and throw it in the trash. Even as I type this now, my legs are shaking and bouncing and hitting each other. But this could easily be blamed on my having adhd. Having ADHD doesn't mean I have autism. I had weird fixations when I was younger. At 5 it was finding 4-leaf clovers, at 9 it was arranging bookshelves, which after ~6 months evolved into an obsession with reading classics. At only 9 years old, I attempted to read the entirety of Mobey Dick (I didn't get a chance to finish, the school year ended and I had to return the book to the school library 😣). Up until I was 8 I was obsessed with all things medical ( which involved reading the same 3 books over and over and over again). At 17 I became obsessed with slugs /sea slugs ( as I'm sure many of you are aware) along with developing an obsession with autism in and of itself. And ever since I was 5, I've been obsessed with hypnosis, the topic is in my brain basically 24/7, though I try to ignore this obsession because it's nearly impossible to find good media representations of it. I was exposed to porn at a very young age because of my seeking out hypnosis related material, and ever since then I've been wary of seeking it out for fear of finding even more erotic content 😣😣😣. Basically, what I'm saying is, I have had special interests, but I've also seen that something similar (hyperfixations) can be found in, once again, adhd!! So special interests don't necessarily mean I'm autistic. Eye contact. Hello darkness my old friend :)). I honestly have always hated eye contact, but, just like with my social skills, I figured out a loophole at an extremely young age. Foreheads and noses are an autistics best friends, and using these tools, I believe I've effectively fooled everyone I've encountered into think I have good eye contact. Honestly, up until I learned more about autism, I kinda just assumed eye contact was a figure of speech or something that people said better never actually did. But poor eye contact doesn't mean I'm autistic. Figures of speech are weird. I often overthink them to the point of incomprehensibility. I use figures of speech all the time (in fact I believe I used one earlier in this very post), but I've begun to suspect that all of the figures of speech I "understand" are only understood because school spent so much time drilling the meaning into my head. My suspicions arised from the fact that whenever I hear a new figure of speech, I don't understand what it means, even sometimes after it's been explained to me. On top of that, with sarcasm, I can only understand it if it's used by someone I know well. Understanding or not understanding figures of speech don't necessarily mean I'm autistic though. I've always been accident prone. I crash into walls and tables and chairs. I've also fallen both up and down the stairs. My fine motor movements also took much longer to develop as compared to others. Messy scissor cuttings, messy shirt after eating, and messy handwriting. My mom calls my handwriting "chicken scratch", though I personally don't think it's that bad. But poor coordination doesn't mean I'm autistic. When I was little, I only ate like 3 things. Everything else was considered absolutely disgusting. My parents would literally pay me to try certain foods, but it usually ended up being gross or a bad texture. Smells could also be *incredibly* overwhelming. Ketchup especially. I was supposed to clear the table every day, but whenever my parents used ketchup, I would either cry until they let me off the hook or pay my sister to do it for me. Even now, I refuse to even touch a clean ketchup bottle, it's just g r o s. My mom also eats this really gross cranberry chicken salad thing that I can't even be on the same level of the house when she's eating it because it'll literally cause me to cry. I also can't touch the carpet barefoot, and certain textures are *horrid*. Though not formally diagnosed with either autism or sensory processing disorder, I am 100% sure I have sensory processing disorder. My sensory issues are worse than my sister's, and she's actually been diagnosed with autism! From others, I've never really mentioned that I think I'm on the autism spectrum; I don't think they'd believe me. I seem to hold a conversation just fine! ( that is,until we're in a group of more than two people. Then I lose the ability to tell when it's my turn to speak, so I end up remaining silent, half because I don't know when it's my turn and half because I can never get a word in anyway). Sure, the few friends I have (the empathy algorithm stopped working because my friends broke me and I actually lost all empathy, which I'm still trying to recover from. The latest algorithm is bombarding the person with questions when you can't get a conversation going. * something* has to spark a conversation, right!? W r o n g. This is why I'm down to 3 or 4 friends.) all agree I'm incredibly socially awkward. And sure, I fill any silence with stimming, usually involving grabbing things I'm not supposed to touch or poking the person I'm with (idk man, my brain goes into panic mode and it just keeps repeating "poke them" until I appease it). In fact, just yesterday I hung out with a friend, and we had a casual good time. It's times like these that *really* make me question whether or not I'm autistic. Though it may sound like it, I'm not saying it's impossible for an autistic to have friends - in fact, in the short year that I've had this blog, I've managed to befriend quite a few of you wonderful people! I guess I'm just saying that while autistics can have friends and still be valid, *I* can't. Of course, having no friends doesn't mean I'm autistic ( much in the same way having friends doesn't mean I'm *not* autistic ). Overall, I'm worried my social awkwardness / social deficits, though they do exist, aren't enough to actually consider myself autistic. I am confident that I have ADHD and SPD, but what if those two are just combining to closely mimic autism? My blog has gotten fairly popular, and I'm really feeling invalid tonight, so I figured I'd outline the main symptoms and let you guys determine if you're okay with me running an autism blog and using the tags. I still think I have autism, and I shouldn't need to get validation from strangers on the internet, but I felt like it was important to outline this.

[madebymixy]

100 days: 93-100

“I try to create fantastic things, magical things, things like in a dream. The world needs more fantasy.”

~ Salvador Dali.

100 doodles from 100 photos in my phone.

This is the final instalment of my extended summer project. I set out on this adventure on 1st June and I doodled the last doodle on 25th October. Life got in the way in the middle so it took longer than planned, but I’m so glad I saw it through. This is what the last week of pages look like…

day 93

Day 93 is another quirky animal, one of a pair of china cats in the Brighton Art Museum.

Here’s something I’ve noticed they all have in common: the facial expression that says “c’mon, aren’t you done yet?” Like they got somewhere else to be.

(China Cat Sunflower… You humming along?)

day 94

One of the lessons this project has taught me is that the images that look relatively easy to reproduce are almost always the trickiest.  There are ways around this. One of the ways is to crop it down to just one detail, just a corner, or in this case, just one bird.

  day 95

These last few days/months (maybe more) reality seems to be sharper and more tense. So a well timed word from Mr Salvador Dali himself seems to fit today.

I got this little clip-on fisheye lens doodad for my phone, this was its first outing, and what could be better to distort than the master of weirdness himself?

  day 96

Practice, practice, practice… faces are tricky. The trickiest. The character lies in the lines and the details and something I can’t quite get. Yet. But I am getting closer.

This is is George Morris.

A while back I was scavenging the internets to find out about my family tree. I traced my mum’s mum’s side back 100s of years, but mum’s dad was not so easy. This might or maybe get not be my mum’s dad’s dad. (A long story, not for now). But if I’m right in my research then my great grandad was a jockey in the late 1800s. This photo was a newspaper I found on eBay. I know! The internet is amazing.

  day 97

One day last spring, a last minute change of plan meant I had a free afternoon. so I took myself off to London to find the legendary Atlantis art store. I was not disappointed. This is their sign.

  day 98

The part of the story where Alice is either to tall to get through the door, or small enough but can’t reach the key. Oh, Alice, I know this feeling so well. I’m there.  How did the key get back up on the table? What is going on??

  day 99

Time is such a curiously paradoxical thing. This project of 100 drawings feels like it’s been going on forever, in one sense, and yet these final days appeared so suddenly.

Huh? How does that even happen? I’ve literally been keeping count!

But the end was always  forever-away right up until page 99. And then suddenly it was almost over. This day was a pyjama day. These are my pyjamas. Seems fitting for the evening of the project.

  day 100

The final doodle from phone photos is a mural I found in Barcelona. What are these? Are they fish or are they space aliens? Or alien space fish? Whatever they are, they made a fun end to the book.

So that’s all, folks! I’ve learned so much in doing this. I’ll tell you more about the surprising lessons soon, but that’s for another day. 

  If you missed the previous parts, you can find them here:

Week 1 ~ Week 2  ~ Week 3 ~ Week 4 ~ Week 5 ~ Week 6 ~ Week 7 ~ Week 8 ~ Week 9 ~ Week 10 ~ Week 11 ~ Week 12 ~ Week 13

  For regular monthly updates on what I’m doing, making and thinking about, direct to your inbox, hop aboard my little list here.

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100 drawings: the closing pages. 100 days: 93-100 “I try to create fantastic things, magical things, things like in a dream. The world needs more fantasy."