#It took me longer than it should´ve had. But I wanted to make some character exploration before I started doing the final design | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

a-written-dream · 3 years

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Chapters: 1/1

Words: 1,788

Fandom: Merlin (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)

Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Cyberpunk, Alternate Universe - Future, Gen or Pre-Slash, Rebellion, Arthur Knows About Merlin’s Magic (Merlin), Cybernetics, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Captivity, Identity Reveal, Evil Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, pretty canon-typical though, POV Merlin (Merlin), The Merlin Melee Challenge 2021, Fights, Rebel Leader Arthur

Summary: Because they had been captured and suddenly Arthur was no longer just Arthur, he was Arthur Pendragon, son of everything they fought against.

Or: In a world years into the future, Merlin and Arthur fight against the tyranny of Uther Pendragon with an entire rebellion by their side. But Arthur hasn’t been entirely honest and even locked up in a cell Merlin can’t help the burning feelings of betrayal and anger. - For @merlin-fic-server’s Melee Challenge. Prompts: ‘I wish I’d told you’, punk, coin & Russian Violet

The metal is cold against Merlin’s back and against the skin of his wrists, even though he’s been pressed against it for the better part of an hour. He wonders briefly if it’s on purpose, if they keep the cell so cold to inflict more distress and discomfort. He wouldn’t be surprised if it was.

A florescent light flickers above their heads, and the only sound in the small space is their breaths bouncing off the walls. There are dents in the door from where Arthur tried to break it down, but even with his strength the door didn’t budge, and with the power-dampening cuffs around Merlin’s wrists, Merlin’s magic is all but useless. Arthur kept trying for a formidable amount of time, but when his hand gave off a sickening crunch of metal, he screamed in frustration and punched the wall for good measure before sinking down onto the floor.

Metal scraps still litter the floor around Arthur’s legs where he’s sitting in the corner now, a long time later, the fight all but drained out of him, head in his hands. The silence is heavy and thick and awkward, tense with Merlin’s anger and confusion, with Arthur’s guilt and anxiety.

“I wish I’d told you-“

Arthur’s voice is quiet and yet it seems to echo and boom within the metal box they’re locked into. It startles Merlin out of the apathetic calm he’d been lulled into by the silence. They’re waiting for their inevitable executions, and yet the sound of Arthur’s voice makes a white hot feeling of betrayal course through him.

“What,” he interrupts, “that you were leading a rebellion against your father? Believe me, Arthur, I wish you had too,” he snaps.

Because they had been captured and suddenly Arthur was no longer just Arthur, he was Arthur Pendragon, son of everything they fought against.

Arthur winces in his corner, running his hands through his hair. “No, I-“

Merlin doesn’t let him finish, too angry to keep the words bubbling to the surface down any longer. “How could you keep this from me? From all of us?” Merlin has been by Arthur’s side for years, fighting with him, protecting him, supporting him, and yet Arthur’s kept something as monumental as this a secret. “How could you not tell me?” Why did you not trust me?

“Why?” Arthur snaps, finally looking up to meet Merlin’s gaze. His blue eyes flash with anger, and Merlin is sure his own dark purple ones are just as angry. In Merlin’s fury, they unhelpfully provide him with the weaknesses in Arthur’s protective plating, with information on just where to send a spark of electricity and magic to shut down Arthur’s entire power system and deal the most damage.

Merlin blinks the detailed blueprints away. He has them memorised, but even betrayed and angry and hurt, he would never do anything to harm Arthur.

“Does it matter?” Arthur continues, voice hard and cold and wounded. “Does it matter that he raised me? That I grew up trying to be loved by a tyrant? That it took me years to finally understand the extent of his atrocities and his crimes? It sure doesn’t make me blind to them, now.” There are tears in his eyes and guilt in his voice. “Sure doesn’t make me blind to the horrific things I’ve done in his name, done to people like-“ you, he doesn’t finish. Like Morgana, like Mordred. To people with the ability to infuse their tech with magic. “I hate him, Merlin, and I hate that I still love him, but nothing, nothing, could ever make me see past the things he’s done, the things he is still doing to his own people, to my people, to our people.” He grits his teeth and clenches his eyes shut, brow furrowed in a painful frown. When he opens his eyes and looks at Merlin again, he looks so very tired.

“I tried to kill him on sight, when I first understood, really understood. I screamed my throat raw as I condemned him from the cell he put me in, and then I decided that I would do everything in my power to make sure his rule comes to an end. I can’t continue to watch people suffer under his hands, no matter how much my wretched heart still aches for his love and approval. I can’t let him continue to slaughter innocent people simply because they exist in a way that doesn’t appease him or because they disagree with him, even if I can never atone for what I’ve done. I will live with the guilt for all my life but I couldn’t, can’t, continue to live without trying to right the things he’s wronged.”

Merlin can’t do anything but stare at him, for a long stretching moment, watching as Arthur holds his gaze and swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. This, this is why they follow Arthur, why the whole rebellion would be willing to lay down their lives for him, because Arthur is a man who hurts with injustices he’s grown up never knowing but has intimate knowledge of, because he sees wrong and does anything he can to make it right, because he’s willing to go against everything he’s been taught to believe and everyone he’s been taught to love to save people he’s never met. Because he’s willing to kill his own father if it means the rest of the world gets to go on living.

“You should have still told me,” Merlin says quietly, his chest aching at the pain in Arthur’s eyes.

Arthur averts his gaze, clenching his hands into fists in front of him. The sound of metal grinding against metal fills their cell.

“I didn’t want you to see me any differently,” he admits quietly.

Merlin’s heart throbs with hurt. Does he not realise Merlin could never? Does he not know the world could turn and end and he would never see Arthur like anything other than the best, the most important person he knows?

“Arthur,” he says softly. He doesn’t continue until Arthur lifts his gaze to look at him. “When I look at you, I see a man who is honourable, compassionate, and kind. I see a man who would do anything to change the world for the better – even go against the father who raised him. I see my best friend,” Merlin watches Arthur grit his teeth and blink the wetness from his eyes, “and I couldn’t see you any differently even if I tried.”

Arthur gives him a hesitant, forced half-smile, hands relaxing against his bent knees.

“I’m hurt you didn’t trust me enough to tell me,” Merlin admits, and Arthur glances away, shame pinching his brows together. “But I’m not angry at you for being someone’s son.”

When Arthur looks back at him, Merlin smiles. “We cannot help who we are born as, only who we choose to become, and every day I have known you, Arthur, you have chosen a path that is good and just and right, that goes against everything you’ve been born into and raised to believe, to be someone who is kind and fair and understanding. And that makes you the greatest man I’ve ever known.”

Arthur’s eyes are brimming, but he’ll never let the tears fall. He never does. There’s a smile on his lips though, and this time it’s soft and small and real.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he says quietly.

Merlin smiles at him again, and he hopes it’s reassuring and forgiving. “The rebellion would do well to know.”

Arthur shakes his head. “They wouldn’t follow me if they did,” he says, as if he truly believes they wouldn’t, as if he doesn’t understand all the reasons each of them have to stand by his side.

“They would,” Merlin tells him, certain and sure. “Sure, there might be backlash from some, but most of them have followed you for long enough to know that it doesn’t matter. They trust you with their lives, Arthur, with the future. Not because of where you come from, but because of who you are. You have proven time and time again that you are willing to lay down your life for the cause just the same as the others, that you will sacrifice everything you have to give for a better world if you must, that you will not hesitate to go through hell to get us there. They don’t doubt your loyalty to them or to the world we’re trying to create, and it won’t change with this truth. They follow you because you are a thoughtful and caring leader, no matter the circumstances of your birth; the only thing that binds you to Uther is your blood and your name. They know that, just as well as I do,” he says. He’s grinning now, the edges of anger only a drop left simmering in his stomach. “You are the rightful heir to the throne, but more importantly, you are their chosen leader, and they will follow you because they choose to do so. Trust them like they trust you.” Merlin holds Arthur’s gaze with steady eyes, and he wonders if the fire he feels in his chest is as clear to Arthur as it is to Merlin. “It matters where you come from only because the world deserves to know that even the son of Uther Pendragon will not tolerate his tyranny or bow beneath him.”

Arthur swallows again. “I don’t know if I can do it.” He looks at Merlin, conflicted and uncertain and scared. But Merlin can see that he’s made up his mind, probably long before Merlin told him to. Perhaps he just isn’t ready to face it alone.

“I’ll be there every step of the way.”

Arthur’s smile is tentative and grateful.

“Thank you, Merlin.”

There’s a beat of silence where all they do is smile at each other, and then Arthur closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, flexing his broken fingers. When he opens his eyes again, the fight and the purpose that had first pulled Merlin in shines with the brightness of a hundred suns and Merlin grins so widely his cheeks hurt.

“So, how do we get out of here?”

Metal scraping against metal catches their attention as something slides underneath the door. The brass object on the floor is flat, thin, and round and they both look down at the coin, hundreds of years old and completely useless in a world where physical currency hasn’t existed for well over a century. They only know one person who still carries those around.

They turn to grin at each other.

“Gwaine.”

#merlin #merlin bbc #bbc merlin #merlin & arthur #merlin fanfiction #merlin fanfic #cyberpunk au #dystopian au #arthur pendragon #nox writes #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #hurt and comfort #angst #merthur

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beardofkamenev · 4 years

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When Adults Attack! (Teenagers)

(Sorry to everyone for dragging this up again, but some people are chronically incapable of letting drama die down.)

The last time I posted about this was 18 February. It’s now late-March. Despite repeatedly claiming to be “over it”, a self-proclaimed “respected history blogger” has been screaming into the void for over a month now. She seems to be under the unfortunate impression that she’s completely innocent of wrongdoing, all the criticism is unprovoked, she has been targeted by “white bigots”, and that she’s somehow the real victim here. So now I have to explain why that’s bullshit. Unlike her and her two friends, I don’t make extreme but vague accusations with zero evidence. I don’t make empty threats about “exposing” people.

The short story? She involved her own self in a situation that had nothing to do with her, downplayed her friends’ racism towards others, incited her followers to harass a teenager, repeatedly lied to her followers about the multiple POC who criticised her friends being “white”, and has continued to inflame the issue while trying to downplay her role in doing so. The long story? Well, I’ll let the receipts do the talking.

That’s Olivia’s first post at the start of February, days before I or anyone else had even said anything. “My anonymous Jewish friend said!” should have been a red flag to anyone capable of reading anything longer than 280 characters. I’ve already explained why Haley (lucreciadeleon/turtlemoons plus her 92849374 alt accounts) is full of shit and so have plenty of others (here, here, and here, to name a few).

Olivia claims that, as a Romani woman, she’s not obliged to engage with content that offends her. Fine. So why is a black teenager obliged to engage with Haley’s deranged anons? Why are her hate anons are so worthy of a response that not responding is an act of ANTISEMITISM that warrants Olivia telling everyone what an antisemite this teenager is for not responding? FYI, NO ONE is obligated to respond to anon hate, especially from people they’ve already blocked. And considering Haley admitted not once, not twice, but three times to breaking Tumblr’s TOS to circumvent a mutual block and send those anons (including how she did it), people are especially not obligated to engage with her.

I made my first posts exposing Taylor (lucreziaborgia/elizabethblount) and Haley’s lies and backtracking on 6 and 7 February. This was before I acknowledged Olivia’s role in inflaming the situation. In fact, I didn’t even know about her tweets until 8 February. Yet, here she is on 6 FEBRUARY already bitching about my posts to her Twitter followers. She has some nerve acting like I victimised her, just because I posted the screenshots of her bitching about me. And bragging about ‘gaslighting’? The word that multiple people have separately described what her two friends subjected them to? Classy.

I can’t “stalk” her public Twitter any more than she can “stalk” my public blog. What an exceptionally stupid claim to make, considering her tweets kept getting recommended to my mutuals whether they liked it or not. Have some integrity and own the shit you say, rather than backtracking, deleting your posts, and pretending that you didn’t say the things we saw you say. If you want to talk shit about others in public, be ready to answer for it in public.

I also wonder how this started over Henry VII. I specifically wonder how this discussion between myself and May (richmond-rex) triggered Taylor’s totally unprovoked racist comments about how we and Nathen Amin “simp for a dead white man”, and we should “simp for someone who actually advocated for the rights of others” instead. The implication being that Tudor history is only for white people like Taylor, and that only her fave is worthy of discussion (“AnNe BoLeYn WaS oThErEd BeCaUsE sHe WaS tAn.” Good grief).

When multiple POC called bootleg Regina George out for it, not only did she say she couldn’t possibly be racist because Haley approved of her racism, but also tried to argue that Nathen Amin deserved it because it was inappropriate for a British man to joke about Brexit. She then claimed we called her “anti-Welsh” (another fucking lie) to make it seem like a bunch of cRaZy blacks and browns were attacking poor, innocent white her (with Olivia coming to the rescue, of course). And as if that wasn’t enough, Haley then sent these bad faith hate anons calling Nathen Amin’s tweet ANTISEMITIC, for no other reason than to retroactively justify Taylor’s racist comments (though I didn’t see Haley getting offended when she was hate-scrolling through his blog before Taylor was called out).

That was the “antisemitic shit” Haley “privately messaged about” that Olivia thinks deserves a response. In case it's not clear: defending racism makes you complicit in racism. Being Jewish is NOT a get-out-of-racism-free card, and Haley trying to use it as one is absolutely dishonest, especially when NO ONE even knew she was Jewish until she finally admitted in February she was the anonymous ‘Jewish friend’ who sent those batshit anons. Other Jewish people also called Haley out on it, yet Haley and Olivia have conveniently ignored that little fact since it contradicts their narrative.

You think it’s over? Nope. Taylor then slunk into May’s dm’s with a half-arsed apology, where she admitted that the only reason she made those racist comments about Nathen Amin was because we “attacked Gareth Russell first” (“BeCaUsE AnNe FaNs CiTe HiS wOrk”) and she “just wanted to educate us about not lionising Henry VII” (even though anyone with eyeballs can read our discussion see she’s full of shit). At the same time, she and Haley were messaging other history bloggers, telling them that everyone who called them out were antisemites (including an openly Jewish mutual of ours) in an attempt to alienate them from the community. And this was just in JANUARY.

“I can’t be racist! My Jewish friend agrees with my racism!” That steaming load of backtracking horseshit is unfortunately the kind of nonsense Olivia has chosen to defend. FOR WEEKS Taylor ignored May’s messages, explaining why she — a black woman — found Taylor’s comments offensive. Did Taylor listen? Nope. In fact, she only replied in February: after she already started posting about how ignoring Haley’s hate anons was “antisemitism”. How convenient. Taylor might be a fucking idiot but we’re not. She only replied to May because she was afraid we’d use her own words against her. Clearly she never learnt a damn thing because here she is on 6 February backtracking on her apology. “Actually, I did NOTHING wrong! Also, you’re all antisemites for saying I did because my Jewish friend agrees with me!” And what made Taylor feel as though she had permission to start deflecting her vile behaviour onto others in order to get the heat off her? Olivia’s post about ‘their Jewish friend’ Haley: the one that followed Olivia’s “private discussion” with “her two friends”. Taylor is a racist hypocrite who hides behind the few minority friends she has to justify her racism, and attacks every other minority who disagrees with her. It’s no coincidence that the majority of the history bloggers who have a problem with Taylor and Haley’s nasty behaviour happen to be POC.

Despite Olivia admitting that she knew nothing about that situation other than what those two told her, she still took it upon herself to misconstrue and downplay to all her followers the extent of her friends’ racism, lies, and general nastiness (here she is on 9 MARCH). For her, our problems with racism are little more than “stupid drama”, “Henry VII drama”, “Gareth Russell drama”, “overreacting to a joke”, and “petty disagreements over dead people” because her friends are the perpetrators. Yet she demands everyone sympathise with her never-ending dramas and projects her behaviour onto others, despite the fact that she’s shown absolutely no understanding for why so many people have problems with her friends and has consistently defended the perpetrators. She’s entitled to be upset at whatever she wants to be upset at, but she is not entitled to tell her followers that we can’t be upset about racism directed at us, especially when that situation NEVER EVEN INVOLVED HER.

I agree. It’s disturbing that three grown women in their mid to late 20s have a vendetta against an 18 year old. Olivia acknowledged that her posts were reckless and that she would have acted differently if she just sat down and thought for one fucking second. But rather than correct the record on the same platform she made those accusations, she doubled down and took off to Twitter, saying that her anger entitled her to act that way. All with zero acknowledgement of the fact that the teenager SHE falsely accused and repeatedly mocked for her age was still being harassed by HER followers as a direct result of HER posts.

She might love the ‘clout’ that comes with a large following, but she evidently doesn’t care about the responsibility that comes with it. In Taylor and Haley’s case, it’s little more than a means to intimidate others into silence. Olivia might be a “respected history blogger” or a “good historian”, but that definitely doesn’t make her a good person. Far from it, if her behaviour is anything to go by.

This was on 9 February, 3 days after my first post. Bitching about me was all fun and games until the receipts came out, huh?

There’s nothing “insane” about keeping receipts, especially when Taylor and Haley are notorious for lying out of their arses and fake-apologising to people in the dm’s, only to continue mocking them on Twitter afterwards. You know what is insane though? Searching ‘romani’ on our blogs in a pathetic attempt to dig up dirt that doesn’t even exist (yeah, stat trackers exist). Do you know what else is insane? Haley spamming people with passive aggressive anons and sending anon hate to people who’ve already blocked her. She also “stalked” our WOTR group chat, though she’ll never admit to it, despite accidentally posting the dated receipts proving it. Oops!

It’s no secret that Taylor and Haley are cowards (as all bullies are), so it was no surprise when they eventually involved Olivia in their month-old vendetta against a teenager. They wanted to school a black girl on racism and Congolese genocide apologism, so they needed to get a “respectable history blogger” on their side. And Olivia happily obliged, kicking up such a fuss on their behalf that the teenager just offered to end it (despite the fact that Olivia vagued her first). Yet still Olivia continued, publicly mocking her age and calling her an “antisemite” long after the discussion was over (here she is on 24 February still carrying on). Either a teenager is old enough to be publicly shamed for being an “antisemite” and “antiromani bigot”, or she’s too young to be taken seriously. But at 25, Olivia is certainly old enough to know better than to participate in this kind of vile, petty, wannabe Mean Girl behaviour.

Olivia is not black. Taylor is not black. Haley is not black. So for the record, if you are not black, it is not your place to tell BLACK PEOPLE whether they can take issue with apologism for BLACK GENOCIDE. Multiple black history bloggers have already explained why they had a problem with Gareth Russell’s comments about the Congolese genocide (including the teen in question), yet that was less important to Olivia than not being able to call him a sexist weirdo because he’s gay. Olivia cannot speak on all minority issues — especially black and brown issues — and it is arrogant of her to assume that she can, especially since her understanding of the Gareth Russell issue came purely from “what she discussed with her two friends” by her own admission.

What a take. Here’s the “anti-Romani” post that I supposedly made. Precisely ZERO of my posts were about Olivia and not once did I even name her directly. So her claims that I mounted some kind of “vicious attack” against her is, uh, bullshit. Criticising her and her friends for their nasty, dishonest, and irresponsible behaviour isn’t “anti-Romani” just because she’s Romani. It’s no more “anti-Romani” than her erratic attempts to “expose” me are anti-Asian just because I’m Asian. It’s not any more “anti-Romani” just because the UK government has passed anti-Romani laws, any more than her telling deranged lies about me for over a month is an anti-Asian hate crime simply because there’s been an increase in anti-Asian hate crimes. I’m not British. I’m not from the UK. I have no control over whatever dumb, racist crap her government does. So she can fuck off and continue fucking off if she wants to make me personally responsible for that. The backlash she received had nothing to do with her identity and everything to do with how she purposely incited harassment against a teenager, defended her friends’ racism, and spread demonstrable lies to her followers. The “viciousness” of the backlash she received is directly proportionate to the viciousness of her own baseless attacks against others. She can claim to be more mature than an 18 year old all she wants, but do you know what the actual mature thing to do would have been? To not promote her friends’ lies and nonsense, especially when the other people they tried to involve had the sense to stay out of it.

Olivia, Taylor and Haley are fully-grown adults, but take no responsibility for their actions. Yet, they expect teenagers to have total control over not only their own emotions, but also the emotions and actions of others. Olivia thinks that a teen should be personally responsible for the behaviour of fully-grown adults, yet she’s close friends with Taylor — a racist, xenophobic bully who screenshots Tumblr people’s posts to mock them on Twitter (here and here from December), called Poles who’ve lost relatives in the Holocaust “genocidal loving freaks”, accused an openly Ashkenazi Jewish blogger of “internalised antisemitism” just for criticising her (a white gentile), said that people who like Mary I “resent their own siblings”, co-opted our struggles under Spanish imperialism just so she could bully ‘Spaniards’ (despite her being American and therefore equally responsible for genocide, by her flawed logic), and said that the black teen who called out her racism “really deserved to be bullied” and “needed to be policed”. Olivia is also close friends with Haley, who has a history of attacking people over posts that have nothing to do with her, publicly admitted to circumventing blocks in order to send hate anons, and likened me — a Filipino immigrant — to DONALD TRUMP and a neo-Nazi conspiracy theorist just because I posted the receipts exposing her lies, harassment of others, and projection.

Most of the people who have spoken out against these three didn’t even know each other until last month. Some of ‘us’ have actually blocked each other. Yet all of us agree that their behaviour towards others has been absolutely unacceptable. How is it that so many unrelated people from different corners of the ‘fandom’ have exactly the same problems with exactly the same people? If Olivia want us to take personal responsibility for “our friends’” behaviour, then she should first take responsibility for hers.

This is on 26 February, over a week after I last posted. As anyone with eyeballs can see, I called her British once. Not “repeatedly”. ONCE. So she can fuck off again with that bullshit. And why did I point that out? Because Olivia, a British citizen, made pejorative comments about “white Eastern Europeans!!!” just because she thinks some Polish people committed the heinous crime of... screenshotting her tweets. They didn’t even do it, and even if they did, how is that even relevant? Everyone knows that one specific Polish person lives rent free in Taylor’s head, so clearly Olivia just took Taylor’s word for it that it must have been The Poles who were “stalking” her. Maybe don’t take paranoid liars at face value next time?

Shameless, ignorant, tone deaf nonsense. Olivia constantly demands that people treat her and her identity with the utmost respect, yet here she was on 9 February already disrespecting the identities of others just so she can score some petty ‘oppression points’ against them. Why even bring their nationalities up? And why call them “white Eastern Europeans” instead of Polish since she knows they’re Polish? Is it because acknowledging that they are Polish would mean acknowledging that she doesn’t actually have a monopoly on a claim to discrimination or Holocaust trauma? Could it be that dismissing them as just some “white Eastern Europeans” was just another way for her to add credence to her own “pathetic lies” about the situation? There’s a word for that behaviour, and it starts with pro- and ends with -jection.

Let me reiterate: it is IGNORANT of her to use their identity against them, especially when hate-crimes against Polish immigrants have increased in her home country, and especially when the specific people she insulted lost close relatives (including Jewish relatives) in the Holocaust. It’s not “repeatedly mocking her identity” to point out her hypocrisy. Her being Romani is not an excuse for casual xenophobia. She might be able to hide her identity in the UK (though she shouldn’t have to), but Polish immigrants do not have the privilege of passing as first-language white British. I cannot pass as non-Asian. The black girl she and her friends tried to bully off Tumblr cannot pass as non-black. Olivia weaponising people’s identity against them just because she thinks they saw her public tweets is ignorant, petty, and completely uncalled for. She should be absolutely ashamed for using that pathetic argument, but based on her most recent farrago of nonsense, she probably won’t be.

Here’s her on 7 MARCH. And of course Taylor was the first to like it lol. Olivia may have deluded herself into believing she was just an innocent bystander, but unfortunately, enough people saw her admitting to inserting herself into the situation at the behest of her two friends. With every post before and since, her accusations have gotten wilder and wilder, falser and falser, and more and more irrelevant because she knows full well that none of her followers will bother fact-checking her. That’s the beauty of vagueing people. It’s how Taylor and Haley have been able to get away with pulling the wool over peoples’ eyes for so long. Too bad repetition, projection, and self-righteous outrage doesn’t equate to the truth because those are all those three have.

“SOMEONE NEEDS TO EXPOSE THE WHOLE DAMN LOT OF THEM! BUT IT WON’T BE ME!”

No one has said anything since 18 February, yet here’s Olivia publicly inciting her followers again. She’s “done talking about it”, yet she’s the only one continuing the drama. She is being ‘persecuted’, yet she mobilises her followers to go after others. She needs to be defended against critics, yet she also can’t resist bragging about big her Tumblr following is, how “piddly” our notes are compared to hers, how she got over 30 followers to report my posts (they’re still up lol), and how many people she can get to dig through our blogs to find anything to “expose” us. Olivia, I’m sorry that you require constant validation from strangers on the internet, but not everyone has the same priorities as you. Some of us just come here to have fun, but having shitstarters in the community is decidedly un-fun.

All my posts were directed at Taylor and Haley, but since Olivia insists on making this revolve around her, let me clarify: she is a hypocrite and a professional victim. Words have meaning, and those words are the most accurate words to describe her behaviour. It has fuck all to do with her identity. She and Haley are professional victims because they act as if their minority statuses exempt them from basic rules of online courtesy and entitle them to run their mouths about others with no consequence. And Olivia is a hypocrite because she demands the respect and understanding that she has repeatedly refused to show to others. She made ignorant, xenophobic comments against Polish people because she falsely assumed they screenshot her public posts bitching about others. She pretends that the many POC who have spoken out against her are just some “white” hive-mind because admitting that we’re not white will discredit the victimhood narrative she’s been peddling to her followers. And she arrogantly presumes to be ‘our’ voice in the community, all while mobilising her following to intimidate and silence the minorities who take issue with her and her friends’ vile behaviour.

It’s extremely telling that in every one of her unlettered rants, Olivia made the conscious choice to conflate us with “white gentiles”, “white antisemites”, and “white Eastern Europeans”. Why? Because in order to “name and shame” us, she’d have to admit to her followers that the majority of the people criticising her aren’t actually “white”, but are in fact black, brown, and Jewish. Having repeatedly demanded that her followers defend her, her reputation and credibility now depends upon people continuing to see her as the oppressed victim of “bigoted whites”. Unfortunately for her and her friends, the truth will always come out. That’s what receipts are for, no matter what they claim.

The history community didn’t side with “a white gentile woman”. We sided with a black teenager who Olivia and her friends repeatedly mocked for her age, publicly and privately spread false accusations against, and incited their followers to harass with their never-ending posts. We sided against white racists like Taylor, and her white-passing enablers like Olivia and Haley. Since being called out for racism by a black girl discredited them, they had to discredit her. And unlike the others Taylor and Haley tried to involve, Olivia was their willing accomplice. If she has now been “alienated by half the history fandom”, it is because of her own behaviour and rightly so.

The ideal course of action would be for Olivia to finally take some responsibility for her actions, publicly apologise for her role in inflaming this drama, and move on like the rest of us have tried to do. But unfortunately, she may be too far gone in her own pathological need for online validation to ever admit wrongdoing without some serious introspection. So perhaps, Olivia, if anything else, you should just take your own advice and, once and for all, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

#here's my fucking rent #seeing as i've lived in your head for a whole month #dumb and dumber #disk horse for ts #long post

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harrysgloves · 4 years

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Trouble (chapter 2)

>>>Catch up with master list here!<<<

word count: 5.6K

story summary: You’re nothing but trouble and Harry can’t help the fact that he wants a taste.

warnings: LANGUAGE // Bisexual character // Date rape drugs (not used only mentioned no one’s getting drugged I promise!) // Smut and lots of it fam. // Oral female receiving // Rough sex? // Unprotected sex (don’t do this okay?) // slight degradation // Size kink? (honestly it’s a lot lemme know if I missed something.)

chapter summary: You and Harry hook up

a/n: wooo took me a long time to write but it’s long so enjoy. This is turning out to be another series so I’m super excited for that! Also, I don’t condone any of this behavior this is just a story for fun. Don’t do this shit. PLEASE. Okay. Thanks.

>>><<<

Harry couldn't keep his eyes off you all night. He stared you down everywhere you went. Following your every move across the bar. From the minute you walked out of your bedroom dressed like THAT he couldn't peel his eyes off you.

Your tight black faux leather skirt hugged every inch of your thighs. Your ass seconds from popping out of the back of it. When you did a little spin for him to tell you if he liked your outfit or not he had to hold back the groan bubbling in the back of his throat.

The thigh high boots you had on with that little crop top that made your breast so out there and full with that choker necklace around your neck was driving him mad. He had to readjust the problem in his pants many times before even walking out the door to go meet the rest of your friends.

He knew he was done for the second you teased your hair one last time in the mirror by the door. His mind immediately started flashing images of his hand laced through your hair pulling it so tightly your head snapped back as he rammed his cock so deep inside you those beautiful moans fell from your perfectly pouty lips. He'd fuck you so hard into the bed teasing you the whole time about how you couldn't take his big cock.

Your sloppy wet hole squeezing him for dear life as he pounded into you over and over again until you came all over him but he wouldn't stop there. No, he'd use you all up, make you never want to be with anyone else ever again. Have you cumming on his length until you couldn't even remember your own name.

"You coming?" You said, holding open the apartment door open, looking at him with those curious doe eyes that he'd love to see looking up from the floor as he shoved his dick so far down your throat you'd choke.

"Uh, yeh." He tried his best to wipe all his thoughts out of his mind but he couldn't help it. Ever since he saw you spread out on the living room floor, hearing your sweet moans, he wanted to fuck the soul out of you.

You smiled biting your lip as you turned to walk down the hallway. Knowing full well what he was thinking. Your hips swaying just a bit more than usual as you walked in front of him.

"Jesus, just fuck her already." Finn groaned from beside Harry snapping his eyes off you lingering at the bar to his friend.

"Whatever." He said rolling his eyes and taking a swig of his beer. If he wanted to stare at you he had to get better at hiding it. Your friends lived to give him shit.

"He's right. You stare at her any longer you're going to get a restraining order." Link laughed from the other side of Harry the second the brunette shot him a look. He was already tired of this conversation and it had just started.

"Yeah Link, like you don't look the same way whenever Addie walks into a room." The last boy, Lex, in the group smiled widely as Link flushed slightly and Finn gagged.

"Shut the fuck up that's my sister!" Finn groaned looking around the room as he tried to not get pissed about his friend fucking his sister… again.

"They've been together fo' 4 months mate. It's time t'get over it." Harry said, smiling at his now very pissed off and uncomfortable friend. Thankful the conversation had moved off you and towards anything else.

He was so tired of everyone giving him shit for how much he liked you. He just couldn't help it. From the first time he saw you he was intrigued. Your not giving a fuck attitude. Your style. Everything about you was so enticing.

He knew you were nothing but a heartbreak waiting to happen but he couldn't help the fact he thought about what it'd be like to be with.

But now with those lingering thoughts of you on the floor moaning and thrashing around, he wanted you more than ever.

"At least he's not fucking your sister." Finn argued to Lex. Their feud building. Really it was like they liked fighting about this, since it was almost every time they went out someone brought up Link and Adeline.

"No the British fucker is doing mine." Lex said, rolling his eyes before he looked at Harry.

"It was one time and I was drunk and 've said sorry 12 times! Besides, she's with Rose and I didn't know." A shudder ran through his body as he thought back to his night with Elena. He wasn't one to help someone cheat and if he would have known about Rose he definitely wouldn't have slept with her.

"I'm so glad I don't have a sister." Link said, smiling widely as Finn glared at him.

"Your brother's hot. He can be fair game." Harry smirked at Link who stood there with his mouth gaping.

"Oh fuck, he got you there." Lex cackled, Finn joining along with Harry as Link grumbled out something about killing all of them.

It didn't take long for Harry's eyes to move back across the room to you. He should have guessed you'd be at the bar chatting up some guy who had bought you the same cheap beer he was drinking. His arm touching your leg.

You only looked away from your drink for a second. Your head turning around to look for all your friends. It was only a second but it was long enough for the creep trying to get you home with him to slip something into your drink.

"Holy shit." Harry coughed, spitting out the alcohol in his mouth back into his bottle, ready to go kick someone's ass when Link's hand reached out to stop him.

"You're going to miss the best part." His friend said making Harry turn to him, eyebrows furrowed.

"Wot?"

"Ohhh, did someone drug her drink, again?" Finn asked way too excited as they all turned to look at you staring at your drink. Your eyes rising so slowly to the guy in front of you before turning to the group of boys.

Harry watched completely confused when Finn gave a subtle nod. Your head snapping back to the creep in front of you. The sweetest smile Harry had ever seen coming across your face.

"God, I love this." Lex said making Harry look at him momentarily before focusing back on you.

He was going to walk over to you but Link's hand stayed firmly over his chest as he shook his head no. Pointing to you now gesturing to the guy somewhere behind him.

Harry's heart racing as the jacked up jock turned around in his seat to look behind him. You looked over to the group of boys sending them a wink before switching the bottles of beer around before the guy turned back to you.

"Fuck, everytime. These idiots, I swear." Finn gave a short chuckle as the huge guy sitting across from you at the bar started drinking his drink so pleased with himself as you picked up your own and took a large gulp.

"Not like they don't deserve it." Link shrugged, removing his hand from Harry's chest.

His eyes never left you. At the bar chatting up this asshole like he didn't about date rape you. Your arm resting on the jerks leg as he started to sway in his seat. Your hand reaching out for the dudes phone, sending a text from it before putting it back in his pocket.

Your hands running around in his other pants pockets until you pulled out a small baggie and the guys wallet. Placing a kiss on the sleeping man's face, an outline of your lipstick left behind on his cheek as you turned so triumphantly towards your group of friends.

"Looks like drinks are on…" You paused opening the wallet one more time. "Aaron Anders. What a fucking name."

"Here you go, knock yourself out and make sure you flush those for me. Can't let anymore rapey pervs get ahold of that shit in here." You said throwing the wallet and baggie to Finn who caught it instantly.

"Who'd y'text from his phone?" Harry asked, his head peeking around you to see the guy being lifted out of the bar by his friends.

"The creeps friends. Couldn't let him die or some shit. That'd be hard to explain." You shrugged, not bothering to look around at the guy being pulled out of the bar.

Really. It was his own fault.

"Where's Ellie and Rose?" Lex said, turning his head around the room to try and look for them which was really pointless.

"Probably fucking in the bathroom." You said, not even attempting to look around. If you knew Rose, she was already trying to win her girl back.

"I'm serious about those pills, Finn, flush them." You said, turning your attention to the guy on your right. His hand running through the billowing waves of dark black hair at the top of his head as he debated what you said.

You should have known the idiot would be thinking about taking them. He had a real problem when it came to drugs.

"We could just take them and see where the night goes." He said, his dark chocolate brown puppy dog eyes looking up to meet yours. Making you laugh at how serious he was being.

He was always a fun time but the kid had some real issues.

"Dude, no."

"Yeah, you got some serious problems."

"I think we should get y'sum therapy mate."

"Fuck, sugguest one thing and all the sudden its oh Finn you have a drug addiction. Fuck you guys." Finn huffed, turning to leave the group and heading for the bathrooms. Your smile wide across your face as you watched to make sure he didn't detour to go date rape drug himself.

It was only a few seconds of you staring at the now closed men's bathroom door before you felt eyes burning through you. Your attention snapping up to Harry who didn't even bother to look away from you.

"Wanna dance?" You asked him, licking your lips. His eyes focusing on them so intensely your breathing caught in your throat. The way he looked at you sometimes, like he was ready to pounce on you, take you right then and there. It was exhilarating.

Your hand wrapped around his wrist, pulling him through the crowd before he even had a chance to respond to your question. As much as you love playing this teasing game with him he wasn’t going to be staring at you all night long, looking like he was about 2 seconds from ripping your clothes to shreds, without at least dancing with you.

"GET IT HARRY!" You heard Link yell from behind you, making you roll your eyes and try harder to push through all the people on the dance floor.

"If you don't shut the fuck up I'm going to tell Addie about this shit. We can't take you anywhere." You heard the last bit of what Lex yelled at Link and a sharp “ow”, you assumed Lex had hit him and honestly, you were thankfully.

Your misfit group of friends, while very entertaining at times, were assholes. They stuck their noses in everyone’s business and had no problem forcing themselves into things that didn’t concern them. They were rude, overbearing, and you loved them for it. Even if it was a little much at times.

Your hands instantly wrapped behind the back of his neck when you made it to a clear enough spot on the dance floor. His firm grip on your waist sent sparks through you. Your big doe eyes flashing up to his smugly smiling face, knowing damn well you felt whatever was between you two.

His body was like a magnet slowly drawing you closer and closer to him. You swayed to the beat of the music, moving in complete sync with him, his body pressed so tightly to yours as you moved back and forth.

The air around you two became thick with the body heat of the others around you. Your hair stuck to the back of your neck but you couldn’t have cared less. The way he was holding you to him like you were the last thing on this earth that he wanted to touch had you wanting to beg him to fuck you right now.

You had no idea dancing could be such a turn on.

He pulled you in even closer to him, his large hands hungrily running over every inch of you that he could possibly touch.

You stopped dancing, biting your lip as you looked at him. His own movements stopping with you. His eyes focusing from your chest that was pressed against him to your lips.

"Can I kiss you?" You asked, eyes pleading up to him. You'd never wanted to kiss someone so much in your whole life.

His lips curling up slightly at the edges as he hummed, thinking about what you'd ask. His hand moving your hair off your forehead, wrapping around the back of your neck as he pulled your lips to his.

Fireworks wasn't even close to how it felt, more like an explosion.

Sparks.

Fire.

Shooting flames of adrenaline pulsating from his mouth to your own. Consuming your entire being into him.

His tongue forcing its way into your mouth with no hesitation. So damn determined to get what he wanted from you. So demanding, so forceful, so dominating.

The submissive inside of you whimpering. Clawing its way to the surface of your mind.

"I love being right." You heard the sweet voice from beside you. Pulling back from Harry not even needing to look beside you to know she'd be wearing a smug smile on her face.

"I like y'bein' right too." He said to Rose. Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him before turning to her. Silently questioning what she was talking about.

"I said you'd totally fuck him. He didn't think so." She shrugged, her head laying on Elena's shoulder.

For being so cozy with Rose the girl looked like she wanted to murder you. Her eyes narrowing at the hands around your waist. Harry not letting your body go very far from his.

"Must be nice to be right all the time, baby." You said with a smile. "We're going home."

>>>

Any shred of decency you had left in you was gone as soon as the car door to your uber closed shut. You were on him from the minute you two were semi alone. Legs straddling over his waist in the backseat. Your skirt riding up so high your ass was exposed. The cool air coming from the vents licked your hot skin.

"Gonna give him a show like y'did me?" Harry asked when his lips momentarily disconnected from yours. That swoon worthy smug on his face as you shrugged.

"Don't think he'd mind." You said, leaning back down to connect your lips to his. His hands grabbing your thighs, running up to your cheeks of your behind, pulling you forward onto his clothed length.

Rose definitely wasn't lying. The dude was fucking stacked. Your core clenching involuntary at the sheer thought of him sliding into you. Already feeling bad for the abuse you were about to put your body through.

"Not that the free porn isn't great but we've been outside your place for 10 minutes." The guy from the front finally interrupted you two.

Harry pulled away with a smile on his face as he slapped your ass signaling you to get off of him.

You squeaked, slapping his shoulder, grumbling about him being a dick as you got out of the car. Harry tapping the poor drivers shoulder when he finally got out, shaking his head, smiling at you, his arm wrapping around your shoulders as he pulled you up the stairs to your apartment.

The second the door to your apartment flew open he was on you. Hands gripping the back of your neck as he held your lips to his. Your feet stumbling over his as you both tried to take off your shoes without disconnecting your lips. His arms wrapping around your waist to steady you on your feet.

"Eager?" You asked, smug smile on your face as you peered up at him.

"No idea sweetheart. Had t'deal with a hard-on all week after y'little show." He said pulling you in closer to him. His hands traveling down the valley of your back to your bottom, squeezing each cheek hard in this hand.

"My room. Now." He ordered. Your lips rolling into your mouth at his demanding tone of voice. Already loving the idea of him being so rough with you.

You turned on your heel heading for his bedroom. Taking off your top as you walked down the hallway with him shortly behind you. Throwing the useless piece of cloth over your shoulder, you heard him groan.

You felt his arms back around you, his chest bare chest pressed against your back as he guided you quickly into his room. Slamming the door behind him and promptly pressing you up against the flimsy wood.

"Thought I said my room, not get undressed?" He asked a small smile playing on the corner of his lips as he watched your chest rise up and down from your heavy breathing.

"Thought you knew I liked to break rules." You said arms snaking behind yourself to undo your bra clasp. The black material falling to the floor in between you two.

His eyes immediately focusing on your chest. You could have sworn they visibly darkened. A shiver running through your body as he looked at you. His eyes eagerly eating up every inch of your chest. Studying every crevice of you as his hands grasped each breast firmly. His slightly callused fingers running across your soft skin was such a contrasting feeling to anyone else you'd been with. Taking the air from your lungs as he continued to touch you like it was the only thing he'd ever wanted to do.

"Fuck." He groaned when he heard your soft sighs, leaning down and capturing your lips again.

Your arms laced behind his neck as he guided you to his bed. Pushing you down on the soft blankets. Following you down to the bed. He laid over top of you, leg between yours, hands on either side of your head as he kissed the soul out of you.

Every movement of his tongue against yours had your hips shifting for any sort of friction you could find. Thinking of the things that tongue could do to other parts of you as you pulled him in closer to you. Your chest pressed tight against his as your nails ran down his back and eventually to the button of his pants.

"Eager?" He asked, pulling away from you with a smile, throwing your own words back at you.

"Yeah I am. So get these off." You said, pulling his pants down the little bit you could from your position under him. Not caring how desperate your voice sounded. You were impatient and not above showing it.

In the short time of you kissing him in the club to now he had gotten you so worked up. Every touch he laid on you sent sparks shooting through your entire body. Kissing him was better than any kiss you'd ever had.

It was already addictive. He was addictive.

"Awe, lovey, 'M sorry want me t'touch y'yeh?" His one hand lifting from beside your head, pushing up your skirt.

Your breath catching as his fingers gently ran across your soaking wet underwear. Your hips lifting of their own accord, chasing his hand as he pulled it away from you.

"Jesus, fuckin' soaked fo' me."

The tease knew what he was doing to you. Smiling down so brightly with those perfectly white straight teeth gleaming at you, taunting you. You groaned in frustration, rolling your eyes at him as you laid further back into the mattress.

"Harry." You whined, shifting your hips again. Hands desperately pulling at the front of his undone pants, finally freeing him.

His length hitting you on the leg before bouncing to his stomach. Your eyes widened as you looked down at the very large situation you had at hand.

"That's not gonna fit." You said staring down at the monstrosity before you as he laughed deeply from his chest, shaking his head at you.

"I'm serious! That's like a fucking forearm!" You knew Rose saidwhe was supposed ro be huge but the guy was as big as a porn star. There was no way that thing was supposed to fit inside you. No way.

"Guess I'll have t'get y'ready then." He said, standing from the bed, slipping off his pants one leg at a time. His eyes never leaving you for one minute.

You cautiously eyed him as he continued to smile down at you. You could feel his ego inflating by the second which was infuriating but you honestly had no idea how the hell he planned on getting that fucking thing inside you without it hurting.

"You'll stop if it hurts right?" You asked, making him pause as he got back onto the bed.

"Course. Y'still want t'do this?" He asked, slowly backing away but you quickly reached for him, arms around his neck.

"Yeah just wanted to make sure." You quickly kissed him again. Hoping he wouldn't start having second thoughts about this. You were already here, half dressed, and turned on. It'd be a shame to waste a good night out and not get laid.

"Tell me if y'get uncomfortable, yeh?" He asked, pulling away from you, his eyes that soft cute green again, making you bite your lip as you nodded your agreement.

You laid back down on the bed as he moved further into you. Resting on your elbows as those soft satin lips you were slowly becoming obsessed with connected to yours again. Calming to waves of anxiety in your mind.

His hands smoothly unzipping the side zipper of your skirt with ease. Slowly pulling the taunt fabric down your legs. The tips of his fingers gently brushing across your silky legs as the fabric was pulled off and tossed carelessly to the floor.

His lips parting from your needy mouth. Trailing his lips across the sensitive skin of your collarbone, down to the swells of your breast. His tongue running circles across your pebbled nipples, slowly, but with determination to give care to each one individually. His lips curling at the sounds of your gasps and sighs when he pulled back slightly to blow cool air gently across the warm trail his tongue left across your chest.

Watching so intently when your nipples poked to hard points. A satisfied hum coming from him as he observed your body's reaction to him. Your chest moving up and down so quickly, hands clutching his blanket for dear life.

Trailing lingering wet kisses down your stomach. Your legs involuntarily clenching when he nipped lightly at the sensitive skin close to your hip bone. A hiss coming from you as he repeated the action on the other side.

His tattooed hand running across the thin lace fabric of your underwear and you could feel his grin against your heated skin. His fingers gently tugging down the remainder of your fabric.

Leaving you completely naked in front of him. Your heart rate picking up the second he moved so swiftly in between your legs. Resting on your elbows to see him sat with one of your legs on either side of his head. His hands running down the insides of your thighs, making you clench around nothing.

"What did Rose say again?" He asked, finger gently pulling back your lips slightly. His thumb rubbing light circles around your bundle of nerves before looking up at you, waiting for you to answer his question.

"What?" You asked, confused as to why these two insisted on talking about the other as you laid beneath them. He had you dripping a puddle between your legs and he really expected you to talk about Rose?

"I think she said sumthin' 'bout makin' y'sing right, love?" He asked, not bothering to give you any time to answer.

His mouth connecting with your core in an instant. His tongue flat and thick as he leisurely swiped from your entrance all the way to your clit. Your head landing back on the bed as you let out a shocked moan.

"Fuck, y'taste so sweet." He said his British accent somehow getting thicker as he became entranced in you. His arms wrapping around your thighs pulling you down on his face as he took his time tasting you.

Your eyes struggled to stay open as you peered down at him completely devouring you. The things he could do while kissing you was impressive. But this? This was on a different level.

He took complete joy in hearing your untamed moans. Showing no care in world as he dragged his face around in your arousal. Happily lapping up every single drop from you as he switched so skillfully between your pulsating bundle of nerves and your entrance.

He was a man who hadn't ate in years.

And you were his meal.

His hands around your thighs digging into your skin only added to your insane amount of pleasure. His fingers embedded into your skin leaving bruises on your soft silky skin for everyone to see.

You felt like an instrument being so beautifully played. Chords echoing from deep in your chest as his fingers slipped inside of you, pumping to a distant imaginary metronome.

Your body burned brighter than the sun, a warming sensation pulling at the pit of your stomach. Completely different than anything you'd ever experienced before.

"Harry." You breathed out, hands lacing through his hair to pull his mouth off you.

"It feels different." You whined as a third finger entered you. His pace not faltering the slightest bit as he smiled up to you.

That adorable angelic simple popping out was such a contrast to the devilish things he was doing to you.

"I know." Was the only thing he said before his mouth was back on you, giving light suction to your clit as his fingers expertly slid into you on final time.

The dam had broke. Flooding, gushing, out of you as your vision blackened around the edges. You'd never had an out of body experience before but you were sure this was what they felt like.

Your whole body tensing before a wave of mind numbing euphoria rained over you. The moan you let out was like thunder, roaring in a tidal wave of absolute pleasure.

You had no idea sex could feel like this.

Your body no longer felt like your own as you laid on the now wet bed. Slight twitches of your leg was the only thing keeping your eyes even slightly open until the smug smiling Harry came into your line of sight. He licked his lips so arrogantly as he brushed the hair from your face.

"How was that fo' gettin' y'ready, love?" His playful green eyes would have infuriated you with his taunting tone of voice but you were too gone in that fuzzy state of mind to notice.

"Amazing." You said honestly, you had never had anything even remotely close to that before. Your body was still experiencing random shocks and twitches as he guided you to a less wet spot of his bed.

He parted your legs, hands running down the inside of your thighs as his length slapped gently against your bundle of nerves. Jolts running through you everytime he sprung back to your clit.

He slowly guided himself through your soaked folds. Watching your lips encased around him. He let out a low hiss when his tip slipped inside you, already stretching your walls.

You whimpered at the feeling of his thick tip sliding in and out of you. Slowly working his way up to you being able to take all of him. He moved so carefully. Inching his way fully full inside of you.

"God, y'fuckin' tight." He groaned as your walls clamped around him. Pulling him even further into you.

You whimpered out a pathetic moan when he pulled out of you slowly all the way to his tip and fully back into your tight channel. His eyes glued to where you were connected, watching himself finally fuck you.

"What's wrong, pup?" He asked when he saw your hips shift forward slightly, the cocky smile on his face as he leaned down over you. Resting on one forearm his other hand wrapping around the back of your neck.

"Harder." You whined, bucking your hips underneath him, trying to get him to move the way you wanted him to. Desperate for him to make you feel like he did before.

"Thought y'couldn't handle me?" He said his hips ever so slightly pushing harder into you. Making you wither and moan beneath him.

"Please, Harry." You cried, arms wrapping around the back of his neck as you. Your legs connecting around his back trying anything to get him to finally fuck you.

He connected his lips to yours swallowing your cries and moans as his hips rolled against yours. Crashing against you with so much force against that sweet spot inside of you could barely think straight.

Your body became nothing but a moldable toy for him. He ripped you up from the bed, turning you around within a blink of an eye. Slamming himself back into you from behind.

"Oh, fuck." You cried, head hanging down between your bent arms.

"Wanna hear what 'M doin' t'ya" He said breathlessly from behind you. His hand around your neck as he brought you to his sweat covered chest.

Your hands holding on to his one arm for dear life as he took whatever he wanted. His lips pressed against your ear. His breathless, groans and whispers of how fucking good you felt wrapped around him so tightly were the only thing you could hear.

Your body couldn't take anymore. The high just on the horizon as his thrusts started to get harder and sloppier.

"Gonna cum all over my cock, sweet girl?" He asked, a satisfied hummed leaving him when your walls tightened around him at his words.

"Such a dirty girl, puppy." He whispered into your ear. Chuckling softly at the moan that left you, shaking his head.

He let your body fall to the bed. Your arms barely catching yourself before your face smacked into one of his pillows. You were so close to going again. Your orgasm so close you could taste it as his hands held tightly onto your waist.

"Should 'ave known y'wanted me to use y'like a cocksleve." He said so close to your ear as his front draped over your backside. An earth shattering moan left you at his words. Throwing your hips backwards faster into him as your body worked of its own accord.

His free hand rubbing the perfect amount of pressure on your clit was all you needed to finally let go.

Fucking him was the closest you'd ever get to heaven.

Your eyes closed, rolling into the back of your head as the euphoric feeling swept you away. Your body shaking as you let it all out. Let yourself go completely. Your fuzzy state of mind only increasing with this long lasting effect he had on your body.

You'd never cum as hard as you did when you were with him.

The finale snap if his hips and warm release across your ass was what snapped you out of it. Laying down flatly on his bed as he laid down beside you. Arm over his face as he tried to take in much needed air.

"We should 'ave done that ages ago." He said, making you laugh as you got up from your spot in his bed.

"We could always do it again. I wouldn't mind." You said as you picked up your random articles of clothing from around his room.

"Where y'goin'?" He asked, removing the arm from his face. The confused look he was giving you was nothing short of adorable.

"I'm going to my room." You said simply shrugging as you grabbed the last thing you thought you had in his space.

"Why?" He asked, sitting up on his elbow as he watched you scanning for any leftover articles of clothing you may have laying around.

"Cause I don't do stay overs." You pulled your underwear out from beneath his pants quickly adding them to the pile of clothes you had to take back with you to your room.

"Wot?"

"Have you ever seen someone leaving here in the morning that I've been with?" You asked him, finally, done looking for everything you could finally talk to him face to face.

"No?"

"Yeah, because I don't let people stay over and I don't do the whole cuddling thing or staying at theirs. Just easier that way." You said sternly. Making it well known from the start that this wasn't going to be anything serious.

You didn't do serious.

"See ya tomorrow, Harry." You said with a smile as you walked out his room shutting his down behind you.

He groaned lay back against the bed hands running down his face as he looked at the ceiling in his room. His mind running with all the things he liked about you. All the ways you were perfect.

And God, the sex, it was just the best with you. Everything about you was just so fucking addictive.

And now that he's had a taste, he wants more.

#Harry Styles #Harry #Harry Styles x Reader #Harry Styles x You #Harry styles x y/n #Harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #mine #Trouble

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sleepless-in-starbucks · 4 years

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Natural Space and Drawn-On Suns

Summary: In a world filled with soulmates, Roman had long ago accepted that ve was never going to have one. The Universe had chosen to be a bitch to vim, and ve was stuck with that. So even though it was very in-character, Roman thought it was pretty rude of the Universe to make vim fall so hopelessly in love with two soulmates, too. Content: (Not actually) unrequited love, (mutual) pining, mention/reference to various (minor) injuries, technically one very minor reference to self-harm, panic attack, some poorly timed laughing, references to not sleeping well/bad sleeping habits, happy ending; nb!roman, nb!remy, genderfluid!logan, all characters are implied to be aromantic, soulmate au Ships: QPR rolosleep, pre-established losleep Note: For the majority of this, Logan uses the atlantis pronoun set- a/lan/atla/atlan/atlantiself. I mention this because the ‘a’ pronoun confused me many a time while writing, and I don’t want it to confuse you while reading

Confessions. Roman loved them…

...as tropes.

In real life? Not so much.

Maybe it would’ve been better if they weren’t soulmates. Maybe it would’ve been better if ve had a soulmate of vis own. Maybe it would’ve been better if Roman’s concept of romance existed past poorly written dime novels and cheesy romcoms.

Maybe it would’ve been just as hard if all the odds were in vis favor.

But as they stood, they weren’t great.

And yet… Roman still wanted to confess.

No, scratch that.

Needed to confess.

Ve couldn’t go on like this. They were just… so in love. Almost too in love, depending on who you asked, but Roman never saw it like that. Maybe that’s because ve’s biased. Ve found ve didn’t care that much.

They were real soulmates, unlike some of them. Some matches never clicked. Some took time.

Logan and Remy took time, but they hadn’t needed it. You could see it in their every action, their every word, their every small glance at the other. They didn’t even have a good meet-cute and they still fit better together than any couple Roman had ever seen. From two strangers forced to share the last seat on the bus to soulmates who’s every move around the other was laced with something, something more than love, something that was made from the stars themselves.

And it was etched across their skin too, the stars and constellations that decorated Logan’s skin at every spot Remy had bled and the planets on Remy that marked the spot of Logan’s every bruise. Space flowed in their veins and held them together.

Roman wasn’t as lucky. For all the beauty ve had seen in soul markings, it had only ever been on others. It had never been scales on vis burns or flowers on vis scars- better put, never markings on vis skin where vis soulmate’s had been marred. Because ve didn’t have a soulmate.

And that had hurt. Hurt worse than the tiny cuts and bruises that had near constantly lined vis arms until high school, in the hopes that vis soulmate would see them and know Roman was there. Hurt worse than going through high school watching people laugh as swirls and hearts appeared on their skin, ruminating on what their other halves could be getting up to. Hurt worse than seeing the college couples roaming campus, hand in hand, matching in injuries and patterns and bright smiles filled with adoration for the other. It hurt to know the universe, or fate, or whatever had abandoned vim, had left vim to yearn for the sort of connection it was supposed to give vim but didn’t. Left to yearn for desires that would never be fulfilled.

So, of course, in response to vis anger and betrayal and annoyance, the universe (or fate, or whatever) had sent vim Logan and Remy.

Aka, it had stabbed vim in the back and asked vim if ve had anymore complaints about vis situation.

Remy was an astronomy major who was sassy, aloof, and very vocal about the fact that they couldn’t wait to be away from earth and to the stars. Logan was a marine biology major who was withdrawn, sarcastic, and eager to sink into the depths of the ocean. Complete opposites heading in the same direction, Logan had called them once, her head on Remy’s shoulder while they did their homework and muttered about how space didn’t have homework.

Roman had watched them from where ve had been working on vis own bed, wishing that direction was towards vim.

It wasn’t going to be, of course. Multiple soulmates existed. If Roman was meant to be a part of their happiness, ve would’ve been their soulmate.

But ve wasn’t.

And that should’ve been the end of it. Ve should’ve moved on, should’ve settled with the fact ve was only ever going to maybe find love with others like vim, should’ve been happy to be Logan and Remy’s friend and nothing more.

Vis heart had other plans.

It refused to give up. It refused to move on. It refused to accept the kindness Logan and Remy showed vim as acts of friendship and instead went searching for proof of something closer.

Remy bringing Roman a coffee when they got one wasn’t Remy just being nice to and considerate of their roommate, it was a gift and sign of affection. Logan helping Roman with some of vis homework wasn’t them just trying to be helpful, it was an excuse to spend more time with Roman. Them inviting Roman so many places with them wasn’t just a gesture of friendship but instead a precursor to actual dates.

Vis heart was wrong, of course. It didn’t actually mean anything that Remy had vis coffee order memorized or that Logan always leaned so close to vim when showing vim vis mistake or that ve couldn’t remember the last time the two of them had been on a just-them date (even when Roman hadn’t been able to come to the outings they had invited vim on, they always ended up cancelling anyways, normally staying in with vim instead). Vis heart was still wrong, still seeing things that weren’t there.

So why was Roman entertaining it? Why was ve going to confess to Logan and Remy, admit that ve could see the galaxies on their skin in their eyes as well, lay vimself open before them even though ve knew ve would only be met with rejection?

Partially because ve knew it was the only way to crush that hope, once and for all. The only way to get over them was to know ve could truly never have them. Even if it stung like poison and burned like magma, Roman needed them to stare vim in the eyes and tell vim they liked vim, but only as a friend.

It was mostly because Roman was a lovesick fool.

So, here ve was. Sitting on vis bed, dressed up nice in a white dress layered in red, good looking but not uncomfortable, feeling like a complete wreck.

The three of them were supposed to be going to dinner. Some place nice, nicer than Roman was really used to, especially for something as simple as friends hanging out. But Remy had said they were also celebrating Logan’s most recent test score being absolutely stunning (and Logan just being stunning in general), so Roman had accepted it. And ve was going to tell them then, after ve had snuck around them and paid the bill vimself and when the meal was at end, so when things went horribly ve’d be able to just leave right after. It was a simple plan. It was a great plan. Ve even knew the outcome, so it was a guaranteed plan too.

Yet there was a pit in vis stomach the size of the moon and it felt like there were stars in vis throat, stealing vis breath as ve tried to breathe around them. Because for as good of a plan as it was, there was still one problem: Roman.

Ve didn’t want to know that Logan and Remy didn’t want vim. Ve didn’t want them to tell vim they only liked vim as a friend. Ve didn’t want that hope to be crushed.

But ve couldn’t keep going on like this either, couldn’t keep pretending to just be their friend, couldn’t just swallow down vis affections like a bad aftertaste. No, Roman had two choices left to vim, and the fact that they were a rock and a hard place didn’t matter- ve had to pick one.

Roman’s phone dinged, and ve didn’t need to check it to know it was Remy, letting vim know that they and Logan were there, ready to go. Roman just had to reply that ve was ready, or even that ve needed another minute, and then head out and meet them, and go to dinner, and… and…

Apparently, there was a third choice: end up destroyed, right smack dab in the middle of the other two options.

Ve wasn’t sure when ve had slipped off the bed, but ve must have, since the ground beneath vim was no longer soft and no longer allowed vim to press vis fingers into it. Ve was vaguely aware that vis phone was buzzing more, more than it should have, probably, but ve couldn’t truly bring vimself to care. Ve couldn’t bring vimself to care about anything, right then, anything that wasn’t Logan and Remy and messing everything up and dreams that would never come true and the blood roaring in vis ears and now that ve was thinking about it was ve even breathing anymore, did that even matter anymore-

Warmth, heavy and real, on vis shoulder. On instinct, Roman sucked in a breath, and though it was shaky and weak, it was something. There was something- someone- someones- in front of vim, but Roman couldn’t focus on them, the single breath ve had gotten not nearly enough to last long. Soon enough, ve was choking again, choking on stars ve had never had and never would.

More warmth, this one warm but tempered, prepared, steady, took one of Roman’s hands, pulling it away from vim until it was planted against a warm surface, one that was moving up and down in a controlled manner, slight squeezes of vis hand inviting vim to try and follow the pattern. And Roman tried to, ve really did, not knowing why ve trusted the warmth or why ve wanted to follow its suggestions, but ve did, so ve tried, and tried again and again and again even when ve couldn’t keep with the pattern just right, the warmth on vis shoulder supporting vim the whole way through.

As Roman’s breathing started to even out, so did vis focus start to come back. Vis gaze seemed to be pointed solely at the floor, but Roman could see the two figures in vis peripheral- pressed slacks and polo matched with a lovely tie, and a dazzling dress that lesser fools might’ve called garish. Ah. So it was them.

Some part of Roman was nagging that this was an issue, that there was a problem here, but ve was still occupied with the much too difficult task of breathing to worry about it much. Ve slumped over more and more with every breath, fairly certain ve was leaning against Remy, but not aware enough to care. They certainly didn’t seem to mind, their arm slipping over Roman’s shoulders and pulling vim closer to them.

“It’s alright, you’re alright, you’re okay.” They soothed quietly, their voice gentle and melodic to Roman’s ears. “Let’s get you back on the bed, yeah? Comfier up there, angel.”

A warning bell popped up in the back of Roman’s mind, something about the importance of nicknames and petnames, but ve ignored it in favor of nodding and breathing. The grip on vis shoulders tightened, and a moment later ve was vertical, only to almost instantly go back to being down. Logan was grabbing Remy’s pillows off their bed, placing them along with Roman’s, so that when Remy properly laid vim down ve was still supported mostly-upright by the pillow stack.

Remy helped settle vim, coming to sit down on the inside of vis bed, partly pressed against the wall and next to Roman’s head. Logan sat in a similar spot on the edge of the bed, frowning at Roman while Remy brushed vis hair out of vis face.

For a few minutes, they stayed like that, Roman quietly breathing while Remy and Logan sat next to vim, Remy having moved on to playing with vis hair while Logan’s hand rested on Roman’s shoulder, reassuring and constant. It almost would’ve been perfect, being so close and relaxed with them, were it not for the reason they had ended up like that in the first place.

“So,” Remy said, finally, breaking the silence gently, “are we going to talk about this?”

“About what?” Roman asked, vis eyes have fallen shut at some point, though ve was still very much awake. Ve was pretty sure ve knew what Remy wanted to talk about, but a bit of playing-dumb and buying time couldn’t hurt either way.

“Oh, just the fact that you were having a panic attack a moment ago.” Remy said, tone faux conversational but unable to completely hide the undercurrent of worry in their voice.

Roman half-shrugged. “It’s nothing.” Ve answered. Because it was nothing, really. All secrets came to light eventually, so it was for the best Roman keep vis under wraps for as long as possible, and deal with the fallout whenever it occurred naturally. A simple conclusion that ve certainly hadn’t needed to panic over. And now that it was figured out, ve was okay, so it was nothing.

Remy didn’t seem to agree. “Oh, yeah, because struggling to just breathe for five minutes is clearly the result of nothing.” They snapped. Roman flinched, and they immediately drew away from vim in response, looking away, expression abashed.

Logan reached across Roman, placing a hand on Remy’s arm in support, and Roman tried to ignore the lurch in vis stomach at the loving gesture. A looked at Remy for a moment, the two of them seeming to have a silent conversation before Remy nodded, looking reassured as Logan turned atla gaze on Roman.

“Remy’s just concerned, Roman, as am I. And with good reason.” Logan said calmly, though there was a look in atla eye that Roman knew well from late nights when Remy couldn’t sleep. “While panic attacks can be brought on by small things, we’ve never seen you have one. That suggests that whatever caused it is very important- at the very least, it’s not ‘nothing.’”

“And even if it was something ‘small,’ we’d still want to know.” Remy tacked on, voice deliberately much softer. “You’re upset, love, and we want to help you as best we can.”

With breathing no longer as serious of an issue as it had been, Roman was able to make the connection between nicknames and petnames and the alarm that had been going off in vis mind- Remy used a lot of nicknames interchangeably as petnames, but there were a few that they only used for people they cared dearly for (aka Logan).

Amongst those few? ‘Angel’ and ‘love.’

Roman forced vimself to keep breathing normally, well aware hyperventilating more would only be a cause for more concern for the other two. And they were already concerned enough, with Remy calling vim by nicknames that were meant for people closer to them then Roman was and with Logan looking at vim with a fond sort of worry reserved for Remy and Remy alone. So worried over vim they were treating vim like ve was someone close to them. Like ve was someone who truly mattered.

Like ve was someone who was their soulmate.

And all of a sudden, Roman was back to the problem of confessions. Ve couldn’t go on like this, no matter how badly ve wanted to pretend ve could. Ve needed to let them know ve was fine, that the panic had been over something silly that they couldn’t fix anyways, so they could realize how much their attempts at kindness came off as cruel. It would hurt, but it would ultimately be for the best, and Roman knew that was what mattered in the end.

Ve cleared vis throat. “It was… it’s about you guys.”

Logan and Remy both stiffened at that, casting each other a quick glance that Roman couldn’t decipher but ve didn’t miss either. Ve felt bad, well-aware that vis phrasing could’ve been better, but ve needed the build-up. Ve knew if ve tried to say it all at once, ve’d just chicken out, and that would get them all nowhere.

“Roman, if Remy or I have ever done anything to greatly distress you-”

“No, it’s not that.” Roman said, cutting Logan off.

Logan frowned, once more glancing over at Remy, who offered an equally confused-but-worried expression. Logan looked back at Roman. “Then… what’s wrong?”

Roman took a deep breath, steeling vimself. “I’m in love with you. Both of you.”

Dead silence. Roman wasn’t surprised. There wasn’t really a good way to react to that, after all.

“I’m sorry.” Roman said quietly, feeling ve had to fill the silence with something, anything. Ve needed to apologize, anyways. “I know you’re soulmates and I know you don’t- I know you just see me as a friend. And that’s- that’s fine, really, I love what we have, I just- I’m sorry.”

The silence once more stretched out as Roman finished, focusing vis attention on vis feet, trying to ignore the tears stinging at the corner of vis eyes in anticipation of all the words that were to come.

And then… laughter.

Hesitant at first, but louder soon enough, startling Roman into looking over and its source. Remy was leaning against the wall next to them, laughing, trying not to look at Roman as they did so. Ve looked over at Logan in confusion, not finding any answers in lan covering atla mouth with atla hand, hiding a smile or a frown Roman wasn’t sure. Ve supposed vis hopeless love could be seen as funny, or perhaps a joke, but… well… this wasn’t one of the outcomes ve had really expected.

“I’m- I’m so sorry, baby, this is a horrible reaction.” Remy said after a moment, once more looking at Roman and smiling for some reason or another. They looked happy, really happy, more happy than a bad joke about Roman’s love could possibly make them- right?

“And likely misleading.” Logan pointed out as well, though a sounded amused. Once more, Roman glanced between them, trying to figure out the joke ve wasn’t a part of.

“I know you guys probably think this is a joke, but I’m being serious.” Roman said, frustrated. Ve just wanted them to acknowledge what ve had said, acknowledge its ramifications, acknowledge what it meant for vim and for them all. “It’s not funny.”

Remy stifled their laughs at that, though they were still smiling, a sweet, fond thing that Roman wanted to see forever even if ve knew ve didn’t deserve it for a second. “We know, Ro. It’s just… bad timing, I think.”

Logan nodded, atla face set back into a neutral expression, save for the twitch up at the corner of atla lips and the soft look in atla eyes. “Roman, do you know why we were going to dinner tonight?”

“To celebrate your recent test score…?” Roman said, slowly, fairly certain that was the right answer but unsure why it mattered right now.

“I haven’t taken a test in at least two weeks, so no, not that.” Logan responded.

Roman frowned and looked towards Remy. “You said-”

“You kinda put me on the spot, hun.” Remy excused, chuckling a bit. “It was the first thing that came to mind as to why we’d all be going out to such a fancy place- I didn’t think you’d buy it, but I certainly wasn’t going to complain when you did.”

“Oh.” Roman said, accepting the answer before frowning harder, still confused. “But if that’s not why we were going out… what was the actual reason?”

“Good word choice there- Ro, we were going to ask if you wanted to be our partner.”

It was Roman’s turn to be silent, looking between vis two friends and squishes quicker than ve had been earlier, waiting for their expressions to break, for them to laugh, for them to mock vim for falling for it. But they didn’t, they remained looking the faintest bits amused but mostly fond, fond for vim, and Roman had the vague feeling ve was going to start crying soon.

“But… you’re soulmates.” Roman said, not wanting to crush vis hope but not wanting to only offer it false chances. “You’re not fated to be with anyone else.”

“Technically, no.” Logan agreed. “Which is why we didn’t want to tell you the true purpose of this evening. I confess, we were… worried. Roman, you’re attractive-”

“Very attractive, incredibly handsome.”

“-and talented-”

“So amazingly talented.”

“-and just generally, as they say, a ‘catch.’”

“A wonderful catch.”

Logan gently hit Remy’s arm, atla expression one meant to be of annoyance for being interrupted but coming off only as in love. Remy just smirked back, and Logan rolled atla eyes, and turned back to Roman and looked at vim the exact same way a had been looking at Remy, just minus the poor attempts at faux exasperation.

“And yet, you never seemed to show any interest in having a partner.” Logan continued, frowning just the tiniest bit. “We assumed you held to old traditions- the idea that you couldn’t be with those who were marked for soulmates, only others who weren’t.”

“Which is why we were going to go to such a nice restaurant.” Remy explained. “We figured, hey, if we ask and you say no and everything’s awkward, at least we’ll be awkward in style.”

“That was your idea alone, Remy.”

“We’re soulmates, love, everything I do is your problem as well.”

“Unfortunately.” Logan muttered, rolling atla eyes even as a smiled. Remy matched atla smile before leaning over to kiss atla cheek, smile growing when Logan’s cheeks dusted pink at the action. “You are being a distraction.”

“The best.” Remy responded cheerfully. They leaned back to their side of the bed, moving forward a bit so they could hold the side of Roman’s face, their smile having taken on a slightly dopey look. “We could go through all the exacts of falling for you and worrying about falling for you- and we will, later, if you want- but I think you have enough of the gist for now, darling.”

Roman met Remy’s eyes, slightly addicted to looking into them, the dark brown so often hidden ve wouldn’t want to look away even if they weren’t filled with a happy, bright sort of affection. “So… what now, then?”

Logan laughed, softly, the sound immediately drawing Roman’s attention to lan, watching with adoring fascination as a smiled gently at vim. A looked away for only a moment to take one of Roman’s hands in atla own, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it, making Roman blush.

“Now, assuming you are amicable to the idea, the three of us get together queerplatonically.” Logan explained, simply and sweetly.

“As partners.” Remy added, shifting their position on the bed so that they were closer to Roman and pressing a kiss to vis forehead as they did so. Roman blushed harder, a development Remy looked delighted by.

“You guys are acting like we already are partners.” Roman pointed out.

“Well, you have admitted that you hold queerplatonic feelings for us, and we’ve confessed to having the same for you.” Logan pointed out, now holding Roman’s hand between both of atlan. “Apologies if we are making inaccurate assumptions, but there appears to be no reason for us not to be partners already.”

“Lo, love, you’re sounding a little impatient there.” Remy said, teasingly, smiling at Logan from where they were reclining beside Roman’s head.

Logan just rolled atla eyes. “It has been twenty-two near-insufferable weeks of you complaining about how pretty your roommate is and twenty-one messy weeks of falling for vim too because you wouldn’t stop talking about vim. We have confirmation that ve returns our affections. I wish to now show these affections. Any delays in me doing so are only further annoyances.”

Remy laughed. “Well, you heard my starshine.” They said, grinning at Roman. “Have anything to say in your defense?”

Roman bit vis lip. “We’re not soulmates.”

“Logan’s parents were soulmates and they divorced two years after they had lan.” Remy said. “Meanwhile, of my five parents, only one set of them were soulmates, and all of them have been cheesy and in love as long as I can remember.”

“So while your fears in that particular regard were valid… using it as a defense is not.” Logan told vim, squeezing vis hand, reminding both that a was there and that a was tired of waiting. “Anything else?”

Roman didn’t respond at first, taking a moment to think, but ve wasn’t sure why ve bothered. It was a little laughable, how quickly vis fears over being in love with them fell apart once the soulmates thing was out of the equation. Ve knew they were polyam, as Remy had mentioned it multiple times over the past few weeks- something Roman was now realizing may have been on purpose- and if they liked vim back then there was no need to worry over unrequited love.

Really, there wasn’t even a reason to think. They loved vim, and they didn’t care that ve wasn’t their soulmate. What more could Roman want?

“I guess not.” Ve said, finally, offering the two of them a smile that ve knew came off as awkward but ve hoped also came off as sweet, or fond, or nice, or any one of the dozens of things they were. And from the way Remy smiled back, brighter and happier than Roman thought ve had ever seen them before, ve had the feeling vis smile was just fine.

“Finally.” Logan said in direct contrast, moving from sitting on the edge of the bed to being stretched out across it, pressed into Roman’s side in mere seconds. A peppered kisses across the entirety of the side of Roman’s face, ignoring vis once-more rapidly rising flush. As quickly as a had started, Logan settled, pressing atla face into the crook of Roman’s neck, muttering to atlantiself about what sounded like the annoyances of pining over stupid pretty people.

“Wh-what just happened?” Roman asked, looking over at Remy, wishing ve could pretend the stutter was from exhaustion and not how flustered ve currently was. Not that it seemed Remy would’ve bought the ‘exhaustion’ excuse anyways, chuckling at Roman as they glanced over at Logan fondly.

“Logan’s officially claimed you as a partner.” Remy explained, tone soft and loving. “A’ll never admit it out loud, but a’s very cuddly with the people a loves. A’s been ranting about how warm you look for weeks now.”

“Oh.” Roman said, equally soft, looking at Logan’s messy dark hair, covering any part of atla face that Roman might’ve been able to see past where it was pushed against vis neck. “Is a asleep?”

Roman was answered by a huff from Logan atlantiself, tightening atla hold on Roman and shifting atla head. Remy chuckled again, reaching over to run a hand through Logan’s hair, Logan humming contentedly in response.

“A will be soon enough.” Logan’s hums turned annoyed. “Oh, hush. You sleep worse than me and you know it.” A more questioning hum. “Roman’s also tired and has nowhere to be, ve will not mind if you fall asleep wrapped around vim.”

“But dinner-”

“Has been cancelled since we saw you having a panic attack.” Remy cut vim off smoothly, still playing with Logan’s hair as they kissed Roman’s forehead. “Your only evening plans are to lay here and let Logan cuddle you and probably take a nap while you’re at it.”

“I think I can get behind those plans.” Roman replied, loath to move or disrupt Logan in any way. “And afterwards? When a wakes back up?”

Remy shrugged. “A’ll still want to hold you, so probably watch a movie. Or take turns talking about how much we love you. Or find all your scars- I know you have a lot, sweetheart, you were a trouble child- so me and Lo can map them out properly.”

“Map them out…?”

“I was thinking suns.” Remy answered, their hand moving from Logan’s head down atla arm, tracing over one of the constellation patterns there. “Bright and energetic and beautiful.”

Roman realized what Remy meant as ve looked at Logan’s soulmarks, and at the black sketch of saturn on the back of Remy’s hand from where Logan had accidentally trapped atla hand in a door. “That would be… nice.” Ve decided quietly, looking at the planets and stars and thinking suns would look nice amongst them. “Could you also…”

“I think you’ll wear the universe very well.” Remy said by way of response, their hand slipping all the way down Logan’s arm so that they could hold atlan. They moved back, pulling their joined hands over Roman’s chest, Remy using their free hand to rest their head on. “But for now, you should probably try to get some sleep, angel.”

Though ve wanted to argue, wanted to say ve wasn’t tired and would much rather talk to Remy about just how long the whole mutual-pining thing had been going on, vis earlier exhaustion from the panic attack was creeping back in, and with Logan pressed against vis side and Remy just as close resisting its call had become nigh impossible. So instead, Roman wrapped an arm around Logan, holding lan even closer. Ve curled up a bit, getting comfortable, before glancing back at Remy. They were still resting on their hand, eyes open but half-lidded, watching Roman and Logan with a tired smile.

“Don’t you need sleep too?” Roman asked as ve settled vis head over Logan’s, reveling in how close and warm and soft a was.

“I’ll go to bed soon enough, don’t worry.” Remy assured, softly kissing the top of Roman’s head. “Sleep well, love.”

And Roman did, feeling melty from the fondness in Remy’s voice, feeling warm from Logan against vim, and feeling only pure joy at the thought of being a part of Logan and Remy’s universe.

#rolosleep #qpr rolosleep #ts roman #ts logan #ts sleep #ts remy #fanfic #fanfiction #ts sides #sanders sides #the cryptid speaks #nb!roman #nb!remy #genderfluid!logan #no one in this got to be even kinda cis skdjnhfck #also ignore the bad pacing/emotional jumps this is a spur-of-the-moment fic after all #it's also only Mostly edited so if u see errors that's why

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laceymorganwrites · 4 years

Text

Exile

Word count: 1,135

Pairing: former Kenma x reader

Warnings: swearing maybe, a bunch of heartbreak, yelling

Song: Exile - Taylor Swift, Bon Iver

A/N: I´ve had this idea for so long now, I finally got my ass up to write it.

Taglist: @babythotshq (send in an ask to be added to my general taglist or to my fandom specific ones, you can also ask to be tagged in works for a certain character)

I can see you standin', honey With his arms around your body Laughin' but the joke's not funny at all And it took you five whole minutes To pack us up and leave me with it Holdin' all this love out here in the hall

Kenma didn´t expect to see you so soon after your break up. Well, it´s been months, but still, the wound was more than fresh for him. He thought too much whether or not he should approach you, but as soon as he saw another pair of arms wrap around you, his heart sunk.

So you had already moved on…

On the one hand he wished he could too, but then again, he would never be able to forget you, stop loving you even less.

His eyes went wide at the sound of your laughter, he never thought he´d hear it again, it was one of his favorite sounds in the world and he regretted nothing more than telling you to shut up because he couldn´t concentrate.

He should´ve made you laugh more. I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defendin' now? You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before

Kenma knew it was a mistake to get into a relationship with you. And yet he couldn´t stop himself.

Why should he? He loved you after all.

Or so he thought.

He never questioned anything, that was why it didn´t work out. Kenma took everything about you for granted and never once reflected on himself.

Now he knew what a big mistake that was, but then he had more important things to do.

Oh how he hated himself for thinking that way.

But now everything was too late. He let you go just like that and didn´t even watch you walk out.

Regret was all he felt and yet he didn´t have the guts to do anything about it. All he did was think, about how badly he fucked up, about how you were much happier now, about how he wanted to be the one to make you happy. Hoo, hoo-ooh Hoo, hoo-ooh Hoo, hoo-ooh I can see you starin', honey Like he's just your understudy Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me Second, third, and hundredth chances Balancin' on breaking branches Those eyes add insult to injury

You were too busy laughing at the joke of your boyfriend to notice Kenma staring at you. Well he never was one to stand out in the crowd.

And yet when you looked at your boyfriend, your smile still adamant and your eyes bright, you caught a glimpse of him and everything around you went dark.

It felt like gravity was pulling you to the ground, punching you in the face and kicking your guts at the same time.

Kenma still had that uncaring look on his face, it was something you grew to hate over time, something that always frustrated you so much.

You were still mad at him for letting you walk out like that, no, you were mad at yourself for not being more persistent.

But then again, you were doing your best. Your best to be there for him, to spend time with him.

And every one of your attempts was blocked by him, belittled and he would always roll his eyes at you, telling you not to overreact like that.

But with someone who didn´t react at all, that was the natural reaction. I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending I'm not your problem anymore So who am I offending now? You were my crown Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before So I'm leavin' out the side door

Everything came back to you all at once, the way he was always so distant, so annoyed with you, the way he yelled at you that day…

But it wasn´t all his fault.

You shouldn´t have been that clingy, you should have supported him. With Kenma, you never were sure what you were going to get.

Some days he was really cuddly and affectionate and wanted to spend a lot of time with you, but even more days he was distant and didn´t want you anywhere close to him.

On those days you felt more than unwanted, like a bother and nuisance.

So step right out There is no amount Of cryin' I can do for you

Kenma never meant to push you away like that, you were his first relationship, he didn´t know what to do and was too ashamed to ask.

He wanted to be perfect and every time he wasn´t, he got so frustrated and mad at himself.

Never did he mean to take his anger out on you, never did he mean to close up the way he did.

But he couldn´t change time. And the worst thing was that he couldn´t even make it better.

It wasn´t his place anymore, you´ve already found someone to mend your broken heart. All this time We always walked a very thin line You didn't even hear me out (You didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

You fought for him until the very last second. Every time he closed the door on you, you kept knocking and brought him water and food. You always made sure to take care of him even though he didn´t want to see you.

Whenever he was having those bad days of doubt and sadness, you were always there, waiting for him to open up and tell you what was wrong.

He never did.

Communication has always been your biggest problem.

Kenma overall didn´t talk and you just stopped trying at some point.

You never should´ve given up on you. Maybe all of this could´ve been resolved if Kenma told you what he wanted, lacked, needed.

All this time I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (You never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) So many signs So many signs (You didn't even see the signs) Kenma decided to go home instead of staring at you and your boyfriend any longer. It was no use anyway.

He could never make up for the way he treated you, he didn´t have the right to.

Neither did he have the right to intrude in your new love and happiness.

If only he noticed the longing look you had on your face when he walked away the same way you once did, without saying a single word.

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu songfic #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu kenma #kenma kozume #kenma x reader #kenma imagine #kenma oneshot #kenma scenario #kenma songfic #hq #hq imagine #hq oneshot #hq songfic #hq scenario #hq kenma

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polaristranslations · 3 years

Text

The Sixth Box

■ ■

After being introduced to all the members of Hakobune Middle School's 66th Generation Student Council Executive Committee, the first person to speak to me ended up being Akune Kouki—in other words, the Servant of Destruction. Well, it was us getting involved that was the cause of me joining the Student Council in the first place.

Hm? I skipped part of the story?

No, I didn't.

If there's anything that got skipped, it would be my memory, not the story—as I explained in the beginning, Hakobune Middle School's Student Council Executive Committee is more idyllic and formal than that of Hakoniwa Academy, but in that vein, I could say that the "66th Generation" had a lot of weirdos.

Of course, me included.

That's why Student Council President Kumagawa could give orders that were very much like him—it was a lineup that made you keenly aware that you didn't want to join a baseball team coached by him.

If you asked me, the fact that my brother was there was more than enough unpleasant, though.

Why did I have to share the same space as my brother at school, when I was constantly surrounded by him at home?—but that ship had already sailed.

No.

Perhaps what I needed at that time was not the courage to leap headfirst into the darkness, but to leap from the ship that had sailed—if only I had had the backbone to turn my heel, and turn over a new leaf, as soon as I'd learned that my brother was included in the Student Council Executive Committee's members.

Of course, the Kurokami Medaka of the past did not have that backbone.

Well, if I only took that part of myself, then I would say I was pretty admirable, or at least did decently--but apparently, it seemed that stubbornness, or perhaps even pigheadedness, was a huge bother to Zenkichi and the likes.

The way I described it was a bit unstable, but I didn't have the awareness at the time, so it's no use—I can say I'm reflecting on my behavior, but, well, when it comes to pigheadedness, then Zenkichi would be up there with me.

Anyway.

When going back through the history of Hakobune Middle School, the lineup of the Student Council Executive Committee members put together by Kumagawa was pretty conspicuous—in both a good way and a bad way.

No.

I guess there was no "good way" for conspicuousness here.

「Finally, we have all our members,」

said President Kumagawa in the Student Council office in the early morning.

「Now, then, let's all work together to make a school where smiles are lacking.」

A school where smiles are lacking?

I had to assume he misspoke and meant a school where smiles were lasting[?]—well, that was what I assumed because Kumagawa Misogi was always grinning from ear to ear, but thinking about it now, I can't help but think that he meant it literally, that it should've been taken at face value.

What a shameless individual.

In any case, right after President Kumagawa greeted us with those instructions, the Servant of Destruction reached out to me—like this.

"Medaka-san. Do you mind giving me a bit of your time before class starts?"

In a quiet voice.

As if he didn't want my brother or President Kumagawa to hear.

"I have something I wish to ask of you."

"......Well,"

I said.

The reason I acted hesitant here was not because I was wary of the Servant of Destruction, nor was it because I was reluctant to speak to him—if anything, it was because I was quite bewildered at Akune Kouki's sudden change in behavior.

No, I get bewildered too.

There's a saying that goes, "The wise are quick to change themselves," but, well, I suppose no one fit those words as well as Akune Kouki did—the term "sudden change" usually comes with a negative impression, but it was originally a term used for good changes as well.

Even though, just a little while ago, this guy had such a weak mindset of indiscriminately destroying everything he saw—and now, this morning, he was calling his underclassman "Medaka-san".

His conversion was fast, if anything.

Zenkichi apparently didn't trust that aspect of the Servant of Destruction, but since Zenkichi and I were also similar in that respect, it was hard to say anything strongly.

And, looking back on it with some self-reflection, I would be lying if I said that I didn't think, "This guy sure catches your interest."

It was not something I thought about even internally, since it would be a shame if the sudden change that had taken place were to immediately be undone—but even so, I couldn't hide my confusion, and it came out in the form of a few seconds of delayed reaction.

But I couldn't stay bewildered forever.

As I'd said before, if he had something he wanted to say to me, then there was no reason to refuse him—24 hours a day, 365 days a year, I'll take on any request! That phrase wasn't something I'd ever said at the time, but you could see the link in my intentions.

There was no reason to waste any more time.

"All right. Where should we talk?"

From the Servant of Destruction's behavior, I could tell that he didn't particularly want to talk in front of President Kumagawa or my brother, so I asked as such.

"Thank you very much,"

said the Servant of Destruction, forgoing answering the question in favor of leading me outside the Student Council office—it was a bit of a coercive way of getting me out, though. In terms of escorting a girl like me, it sorely lacked in delicacy.

Although, it wasn't like I was expecting that sort of consideration, so I followed behind him.

Unaware of the eyes of President Kumagawa that watched us leave.

■ ■

Do you know about the word "anecdotal"?

It refers to a short story, like something episodic—that is.

A special case that sounds emphatic because it's an exception—that's how I see it.

The reason I brought up this word here was simply because "Akune" resembles the part of the word "anec", but thinking about it, the Servant of Destruction seemed to be a rare type of exception for Kumagawa Misogi or Kurokami Medaka, not only in middle school but also in high school.

Well, if I get the chance, that's something I can gradually talk about.

What I wanted to mention here was not his exceptionality, but the problem of his designation.

The location he brought me to was behind the gymnasium.

There was no way I could have forgotten that this was where my childhood friend Hitoyoshi Zenkichi and Akune Kouki faced off—well, it was a bit too one-sided a battle to be called a face-off, but either way, it was something that was ended, or resolved, thanks to my intervention.

I doubted he brought me here to take a trip down memory lane—and it would be rather incoherent for the story if he were to try and get revenge here, although it would have been amusing.

Well, it wasn't a matter of "although".

After all, belligerent as I was back then, I had actually brought it up.

"What is it? Are you looking for a fight, Servant of Destruction?"

What era of manga are you supposed to be a character from, is what I want to retort to my past self, but let's just let it pass.

It seemed the one who received those words also decided to let it pass—although, what he let pass only had to do with the mention of a "fight".

"Would you mind no longer calling me Servant of Destruction, Medaka-san?"

he said.

"That name may have been something I was once proud of—but now that we've come this far, it's nothing but a stigma to me. It especially hurts when you call me that. I'd really like to redeem myself here."

"...Redemption, huh."

What the hell is he going on about?—that was what I was honestly thinking.

He was acting as if it was something from long ago, but the time that this person was called the Servant of Destruction was but a few days ago... It was the first time I ever experienced the falseness, the meaninglessness, of the words "now that we've come this far".

Even if the wise were quick, this was a little too quick.

And yet, it would probably be too intrusive to put a damper on his sudden change by blasting him with criticism—it was a bit exasperating, but I figured it was something I could warn him about some other day.

It was not until a little later that I realized the naivety of this idea.

No, this problem that Akune Kouki held was so deep-rooted that it wasn't a laughing matter, and even in high school would he still be under this influence—even Nabeshima-senpai apparently had no idea what to do about it.

But because Nabeshima-senpai was that kind of person, it seemed that, even while she had no idea what to do, she was able to skirt around the excessive devotion from Akune Kouki—the fact that he was able to stick around that genius-hating person without her getting fed up with him could be said to be a testament to his ability.

"It feels a little too early to relinquish that name, though—"

Well, though I said that, since the person himself hated being called that, I couldn't exactly continue to do so. So instead...

"General Affairs Manager Akune."

That's what I called him.

"General Affairs Manager Akune. All right, I'll call you that from now on."

"Thank you very much, Medaka-san."

The Servant of Destruction—rather, General Affairs Manager Akune—bowed his head deeply.

Well, so it doesn't get confusing, I'll refer to the middle school version of him as such even in my narration to differentiate. Though, in Hakoniwa Academy, where I was President, he worked as Secretary, so it seems he has no fields that he's weak in.

They all fit him well, no matter the job title.

"So, General Affairs Manager Akune. What is it? I doubt you brought me here behind the gymnasium for such a trivial matter. Didn't you have something else in mind? To discuss—like advice, or a warning."

"...I'm really no match for you, Medaka-san."

General Affairs Manager Akune spoke simply.

"You've seen through all my intentions, haven't you."

"...No, anybody would think that."

If he praised me for every little thing I said, this conversation wasn't going to go anywhere.

The bell would ring before we could talk.

Plus, even if there was something I had seen through, I would not have seen through very much—because I could never have guessed what General Affairs Manager Akune wanted to warn me about.

Or rather, I was lacking in information at the time.

I hadn't anticipated that yesterday, Zenkichi had gone to General Affairs Manager Akune and talked to him about me taking up the position of a Student Council member.

Well, if I had closely observed his lack of surprise when I was introduced at the Student Council office, it wouldn't have been impossible to realize it, though.

My eye for observation was surprisingly unreliable.

Even if you take into account that I was younger, I was pretty lacking in that respect—at best, all I thought was that he was kind of a calm, collected guy.

But General Affairs Manager Akune must have been told by Zenkichi not to speak of it, for he didn't tell me about it at all. Instead,

"Medaka-san. What do you think of Kumagawa-san?"

he asked.

For whatever reason, the way he asked that question made it seem as if there was a specific answer he was expecting.

However, regardless of what answer General Affairs Manager Akune expected from me, I wouldn't be able to meet those expectations. It pains me to not be able to meet the expectations of another, but sometimes there was just no way out if it.

"That's what I'd like to ask you,"

I responded.

"What exactly is that guy? He's completely incomprehensible—he's way too unidentifiable. He was so hard to read that I ended up taking up the position of the Student Council Executive Committee Treasurer just as I was told to—but I figure you would know more about him."

In the end, this was something I only realized about myself after looking back, but...

When I think about why I was willing to take on a job that I wasn't really suited for, such as Treasurer, it partly had to do with me having a natural desire for challenging things that were difficult or unsuitable; but also, I think my motivation had to do with wanting to know "the truth behind the person known as Kumagawa Misogi".

Hm.

If you wanted to call it the adorable curiosity of a middle school first-year, then I suppose that's all it was, but it was maybe a little bit impure—and not just impure because the target was Kumagawa Misogi.

I can only express my regret that such feelings led to that tragedy; however, Torai Kudaki, can't you say that you understand, looking at the current "Kumagawa Misogi"?

That unidentifiable nature of his, that darkness with no coherence.

The way he can draw people to him and swallow them up—comparing him to a black hole just seemed too apt that I wanted to avoid that metaphor if possible.

"In the first place, General Affairs Manager Akune. What's your relationship with President Kumagawa? It hardly seems like a simple hierarchical relationship, so what. Were you childhood friends since you were two years old?"

"What kind of question is that,"

said General Affairs Manager Akune with a strained smile.

It seemed he thought it was a joke to lighten up the mood—well, perhaps in these days, neighborhood relations were more diluted, the concept of a childhood friend was not a common one.

It was true that I didn't know anyone else with the same relationship as the kind that Zenkichi and I had.

"Kumagawa-san is..."

Finally, General Affairs Manager Akune began telling his story.

Well, no, that made it sound like he would be telling some grand narrative, but the contents were so disappointing that you could call them diluted.

"Someone I've known since I entered middle school. It was around this time last year that I got to know him. At the time, he wasn't the Student Council President—and I was not yet called the Servant of Destruction."

"...From what I heard from Zenkichi, you 'became' the Servant of Destruction because of President Kumagawa. Is that right?"

"No, that's not it."

General Affairs Manager Akune seemed to be having a difficult time talking about President Kumagawa, but was strangely clear and strong-willed in this last remark of his.

"President Kumagawa bears no responsibility for my actions—my destruction was something I carried out on my own. I am not thinking at all of trying to escape that burden."

"...Is that so."

If he spoke like that, I had no choice but to nod along.

With him speaking of redemption and renouncing his title as the Servant of Destruction as if it were something abominable, I'd thought that perhaps this guy was not willing to face the destruction he wrought, but it seemed that was not the case.

It seemed he had the determination to face his own actions.

But what I couldn't understand was why he spoke as if he was trying to cover for President Kumagawa—it may be a matter of opinion to what extent we should believe Zenkichi's testimony, which may contain some assumptions, but even discounting that, it was pretty obvious that General Affairs Manager Akune's activities as the Servant of Destruction were based on the instructions of President Kumagawa.

It seemed that there were some complicated—or perhaps uncomfortably simple—circumstances to that.

To Akune Kouki and Kumagawa Misogi's relationship.

If General Affairs Manager Akune's words here were to cover for President Kumagawa here, then the storyline would be easy to understand, but if that wasn't going to be the case—human relationships weren't so easy to unravel, nor were they easy to translate, but I would need to think deeply about it.

About the Student Council President named Kumagawa Misogi—and his bottomless nature.

"Well, I'll judge whether you're truly repentant based on what I see from you from now on—I'm sure it'll make for a grand tale. But for the timing, what I wanted to hear from you with regards to working together in the Student Council was about Kumagawa Misogi's personality, his disposition... But it doesn't seem like I'll be able to hear much from you."

"Indeed. I'm terribly sorry I couldn't be of more use, Medaka-san..."

General Affairs Manager Akune spoke as if he was truly sorry.

What a difficult guy to deal with.

If he was going to react so sensitively to every move and every comment I made, we were never going to get anywhere.

"I guess you and I are not so different in our perceptions of President Kumagawa—well, I suppose it can be that way. For that reason, there's a meaning to me having joined the Student Council."

"A meaning..."

"Even though I don't understand him—no, because I don't understand him—I don't think he's some sort of non-issue I can just leave alone. And I'm sure you don't think so, either. If so, it would be better to keep a close eye on them for the sake of this school."

"Well... I do acknowledge that that person is a much more dangerous individual than someone like me. To the extent that you can't overlook him, Medaka-san. However... What I think is that you should resign from the Treasurer position of the Student Council Executive Committee, even now."

"Hm?"

I said, tilting my head.

"Don't be absurd. I've already been introduced to the other members, and I doubt I can just quit after having come this far."

"No, quitting itself is actually quite easy to do. If you speak to the Student Council's advisor, then it should be easy to quit. In fact—there is already someone who has quit before."

"Someone—who quit?"

That was the first I'd heard of it.

And it was rather unexpected, at that.

After all, it was because I joined that the Student Council members, the President and the Vice President and the Treasurer and the Secretary and the General Affairs Manager, all of those positions were filled—wait, but actually.

"That's right. The position of Treasurer was only open in the first place, Medaka-san, because the person who had taken up that position had resigned from it."

"...From the way President Kumagawa spoke,"

I said carefully, sorting out my thoughts as I went.

"It felt like he'd decided upon the Vice President, Secretary, and General Affairs Manager, and finally entrusted me with the position of Treasurer which had been open the whole time—"

"You can't just buy into everything he says. He's almost unrivaled when it comes to mixing truth and lies—an honest liar."

An honest liar.

For General Affairs Manager Akune, those words may have come naturally from his own personal experience, but I would soon learn that there were few catchphrases that suited President Kumagawa as well as this one.

But, that would be for the future.

What concerned me now, what should concern me now, was the fact that there was a person that Kumagawa Misogi had entrusted the position of Treasurer to, before me.

"Well, the truth is, she quit almost immediately,"

said General Affairs Manager Akune.

"Her name is Chinu Namaji."

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princegabriel · 4 years

Photo

Someone requested Don’t Let Them See You Cry with Buddy. I didn’t take down your name, I’m sorry! If this was your request and you want to be tagged, please let me know and also sorry this took so long! Thank you for the prompt! @badthingshappenbingo

If You’re Alive

by princegabriel/ FaintlyMacabre

Rated: T

Characters: Buddy Aurinko, Jet Sikuliaq

CW: Both active and passive suicidal ideation is discussed, though only briefly. This takes place both before and after Buddy's surgery to replace her eye, hence the tags for eye trauma and surgery. Nothing darker or more violent than in canon, but please be aware if you find these subjects triggering.

Her head felt stuffed full of cotton when she awoke amidst beeping machines. She blinked and it felt wrong. On her right side she felt the glide of eyelid over eye but on her left she felt no such thing. She’d known, of course, what this surgery was for and what it would entail, but she still had to fight a wave of panic rising in her stomach. She touched a hand to the bandage and she could feel the tiny vibration of an aperture opening and closing.

At this, she felt tears sting her remaining organic eye. It was all over now: her days of quiet self-destruction, her days of waiting for someone who would never come home. She would never stop hoping, of course, but it would be the kind of hope that would be interred somewhere deep, present but never blooming.

“Buddy.” His voice came from her left, which must have been why she hadn’t noticed him.

She turned away. “Yes, darling?”

“How are you feeling?”

The laugh she choked out was watery, much more fragile than she would have liked. “Oh, right as rain, at least until the painkillers wear off.” Lying down was about what her energy level afforded, but she wanted to curl up in a ball, make herself a smaller target for whatever hurt would come next. Make her tears less obvious.

“Would you like some help?”

She would not, but she had to admit that in her current state, sitting up on her own would tire her out enough that she’d just have to lie down again. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

He came around to the right side of the bed and pulled her up easily; when she started to sway, he sat down next to her to let her lean on his shoulder. At least he was on her left. Could she still cry on that side? It seemed unlikely but she didn’t know.

“It’s laughably inadequate, but I believe I should thank you,” she said, just about getting her voice not to shake.

“I do not believe ‘should’ comes into it,” he said. “Change is difficult, and if you do not thank me I will not hold it against you.”

“No? Well, that’s no good.” She was trying so hard to sound steady, but her resolve was stretched almost to breaking. “I think I’d rather you get angry at me.”

“I am sorry to disappoint you,” was all he said. It hadn’t been 48 hours since he’d hauled her down from the top of the lighthouse, but already that span of time felt longer than the two years they’d known each other.

---

She didn’t look up until his shadow fell over her. Even then, it took a second.

“Ves—“ It wasn’t Vespa. “I know you—”

“Yes,” he said. “The bar is usually open by now.”

“High stakes to brave for a drink,” she said. She couldn’t remember his name, but she also couldn’t summon the energy to worry about that. “Sorry, darling, but I don’t think we’ll be opening today.”

“I expect not,” the mountain of a man standing over her said. “I would be very interested to know why you are up here if you would like to tell me, but that can wait. Will you come back down the lighthouse?”

“No, thank you,” she said. “I’m waiting.”

“Whomever or whatever you are waiting for, you will be better able to receive them if you are not dead. Please come back down.”

“Listen very carefully, because I’m only going to say this once,” she said. She tried to stand, realized she couldn’t, and decided that remaining seated would better underline her point. “I am staying here, and while I can’t make you leave, I’d enjoy my wait better if you were elsewhere.”

“All right, I will leave.” Before she could enjoy her victory, huge hands were scooping her up and depositing her on a huge shoulder. “You are coming with me. At least, until we get back to the ground.”

“Put me down!” she tried to shout, but it just came out a rasp. She pounded his back with her fists, but while the impacts reverberated through her hands and arms, he didn’t seem to feel them at all.

“I will put you down once we are back on ground level,” he boomed in a voice she could feel through the not-yet-ruined side of her face and torso. She wanted to scream, but her throat closed up, and all she could do was watch the steps climb up and away from them, up to the place where she needed to be.

Later, when he’d repaired the door and she, with shaking hands, had made them both tea, he told her about the eye he wanted to give her, and she asked him:

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you do this for someone you hardly know?" she said. "Why do it at all? I can count on one hand the people I’d do this for, and I wouldn’t even need the other four fingers.”

“Perhaps you do not remember the first night you saw me in your bar.”

“I believe I’d find it exceedingly difficult to forget a patron who seemed just as likely to shoot themselves as me.”

“Hmm. Then you do not understand the value I now place on my own life.”

“You had a gun to your head, darling,” she said. “I talked you down. This hardly compares.”

“No? I very nearly shot both you and myself,” he said. “You acted at great personal risk; no amount of money can compare to that. And while it is true that it would only have taken one shot to end my life forever, I was killing myself with the choices I made every day. To me, the circumstances are more similar than not.” He took a sip of his tea. “Also, my acquaintance with you is the closest relationship I currently have.”

Buddy blinked. “You—”

“I do not wish to discuss this now,” he said, looking up at her again. His face softened almost imperceptibly. “Later, I would like to tell you, if you still want to know.”

Buddy felt the weight of this statement as though he was handing her a tray of cut crystal or a sleeping child, the trust in his voice making her aware of both the risk and the gift. “I would,” she said, finally. He nodded.

She’d been there when he’d sold the car. This was a slow and painful process for both of them. She almost wanted to insist that he call it off, this was too much, not worth it, but it was done by the time she'd mustered the energy to say, "Don't."

The rest, from the start of their motorcycle ride to the moment she began counting back from 100, was lost to the anesthesia.

---

“There’s no going back, is there.” It wasn’t a question. She was sitting on a hospital bed, tethered to machines, a new device in her skull, leaning both literally and figuratively on someone who hadn’t even told her his name.

“There never is,” he said. “The choices we have made, and the choices that were made for us, are no longer accessible. It can feel… paralyzing. But as a wise woman once said to me, ‘if you are alive, you might as well live.’”

Hearing her own words being given back to her, nearly two years after she’d given them to him, somehow made her laugh, and once she began laughing she could not keep from crying. She made a valiant effort; pressing the heel of her hand into her right eye, holding her breath, tipping her head back and losing her balance. He caught her again, this time keeping an arm around her as she shook through the tears. The wail that tore itself from her throat made her think of a wild animal in pain. She hadn’t allowed herself to cry like this since… Well. Since Vespa. Buddy supposed it was fitting; in this moment, it felt as though she'd lost her all over again.

“There is something else I would like to tell you,” the man said, once the sobs that wracked her body had quieted.

“What’s that?” she rasped out. The crying had taken a lot out of her, and she felt ready to sleep for a week. Maybe she would.

He glanced over his shoulder at the door, which was still closed. “Sikuliaq,” he said. “My name is Jet Sikuliaq.”

News bulletins flashed through her mind about the Unnatural Disaster and his crimes, the hunt for a killer. Pieces slid into place, and she turned to look at him for the first time since he’d sat down next to her. He was sitting very still, facing the opposite wall, as though he knew exactly what she was thinking and was afraid of her reaction.

“Well, Jet Sikuliaq,” she said, turning back to face the same wall, “your friend sounds like she knew what she was talking about.”

She could feel some of the tension leave him, and they sat for a while, exhausted and battered and very much alive.

#bad things happen bingo #the penumbra podcast #this took a super long time so I get it if you're skeptical but I'm still taking prompts!#buddy aurinko #jet siquliak

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annaofthenorthernlights · 3 years

Text

It´s your life

Chapter 1

Off we go…

Kristanna Modern AU

Rating: G

Word counting: 2211

Kristoff takes Anna away off her studies – she´s a mess before exams…

So that was about it. Kristoff was sick of watching his girlfriend exhausting herself with struggling towards her exams. Not that she would not make them. He was convinced she would do great finals. But her family had burdened her with heavy responsibility of representing their name with the greatest marks she should get – within the first 10 of finalists – that meant to end her collage degrees “with merit”. Anna was smart and she had great skills to make her way into a bright future, the young man was positive for her. But! If only the family business would not call for her in person, to shout out their greatness just because of titles and medals!

Kristoff frowned on the thoughts. He had seen Anna wrench with worry to fail on her family´s name. She didn´t really like the goal they had set for her – without even actually asking if it was what she wanted – to become a respectable lawyer. Anna had mentioned several times that she would so much more prefer to study some profession on socialised basics. Of course, as a lawyer one should have social skills… Kristoff wrinkled his nose thinking about Anna´s sister being anything less than socialising. It wasn´t that he would not like Elsa as such, she was after all Anna´s sister. But she was reluctant and tentative when it came to events or communicative situations. She like to withdraw herself from any personal attachments. Of course, as a strict and professional lawyer she could not afford to associate to much with others. She had to prevent her person from gossip and speculative turns.

But Anna was the opposite. She needed personal contacts, literally craving for fun and sharing time with friends and colleagues. Anna had accompanied Kristoff several times to events organised by his working team, to sportive events with friends or then to his family celebrating seasons.

No! This kind of profession would be her downfall. He had to do something about this. Kristoff loved Anna to much to watch this fruitless and bizarre process any longer. He understood Anna struggled to get anyone happy around her, even if that meant that she had to step back. But she was the one to definitively be happy. And that was what Kristoff had set his mind for!

Kristoff assumed well enough the effort and nerve taking time the last term of college would require. But how senseless it was, if one had to strive for best marks – just to please others. He thought about his own dreams and goals he had set for himself. Nothing great, it was in comparison. But after all, if he would succeed the next few years, he would make a respectable living to feed a little family. He didn´t have the chance to follow a college career, stepping right into working life after Senior High. But a good life it was, nevertheless. His career as carpenter wasn´t bad. He made a good living, good enough for himself, that was.

He wondered though of what Anna really dreamed about. She had never really set her mind focused completely, all slowed and conducted in pace by her family in the background. Kristoff took a heart and wanted to get her to himself for a quiet moment and challenge this great girl to free herself from a pressure she didn´t deserve at all. He would support her in any way he could. If only she would let him be the one at her side!... But then, Kristoff subconsciously feared the gap between them, financially and socially. He would never be able to offer Anna the life she was used to right now. What if that would matter more to her than their relationship? That was, what he needed to find out. And the thought of her breaking up and backing up to her former familiar life, scared him and tore at his heart. But then, if not now, how long should he prolong of facing the truth?

**********

The sun lit the room in a golden light, inviting anyone for a comfortable stroll in the nice spring afternoon. Early May, warm but not hot, nature blossoming but not yet in full colour. The smell of fresh flowers and kind spring winds rustling around the grounds to caress people’s faces, it was all good doing to body, soul, and spirit.

Anna didn´t really notice much of it.

She sat over her books, elbows on the table, her head laying heavy in her hands. She went through the book beneath her eyes, glaring back up at her from the table desk.

Basically, she didn´t disklike the topic of law and orders. After all, it helped to help people who needed advice and support on law-matters, not being treated wrong. But then, there was so much corruption. When Anna had served in her family´s office, for practical study terms, she had been appalled upon certain undergoing of mistreating the law, putting it correctly for formality reason, but certain cases were not correct from morality point of view. Anna had faced her sister, Elsa, for that matter and asked why they would defend people who had done wrong, admittingly, just to get their rights pushed through. It had been a matter of loyalty towards good friends, and everybody got his right for defence. They would not justify the wrongdoing but help them getting a better way out of it. That was all. It would be still correct.

Anna couldn´t share this opinion. Still, once she got her degrees, she could change her ways and be a good lawyer to people in need, real need. People who might not have much money. She had set her mind of selling her character to money. But her family wanted her in their business. She didn´t like it. Not at all. The problem was, Anna hadn´t the guts to stand up against them. They were family. Her parents were kind people, but then obliged to friends and business. The long year family tradition and their represented name. Elsa was loyal, correct, but in her ways not so people bound. She would handle the cases as such. The customers were customers and to be treated as such. End of the story.

Anna was different. She liked people in general, if not necessarily everyone the same… She hated injustice – that´s why she liked the law-thing. But injustice was in this world and would never be defeated to its downfall. So, that would be an endless enemy. Still, if she could be of little help in a little while, to little people – would it not be worth the struggle and effort?

She got up, got herself a cup of coffee from her kitchen corner and stood with her back leaned against the door frame. Glancing out the window, Anna sighed, and she decided to take a little break and to go for a short walk. The fresh air would do her good and free her heavy brain for sure. It was early Friday afternoon and the weekend beckoned invitingly to free her head. She smiled, put her cup into the sink, and put on her comfy boots. Skipping down the staircase to the front porch, she hummed a melody in anticipation of the sunny spring day. Anna decided to take the time to overthink her situation and later, when Kristoff came around, she would tell him. He had a sobber common sense, always listening carefully to her chaotic referees. He would encourage her in her plans, she was sure. Dear Kristoff, he was such a gift, such a treasure to her life. If only her family could see his worth, looking beyond name and career.

**********

Kristoff parked his Pickup in front of Anna´s flat.

Grinning a last time to the glove box he got out and made his way to the front door, when he heard a familiar voice call his name. Turning around he spotted his sweet ginger-headed gal. His heart leaped, then Anna looked happy. Her cheeks showed a soft red glow and her eyes sparkled at him in delight.

“You´re early!”

“Sorry, if I interfere with your schedule.” He shrugged and stepped down the steps to meet her.

“No. That´s wonderful. Happy to see you.” Anna strode up to him, flinging her arms around his neck, and tiptoeing she perked a soft kiss to his lips. “I´ve been thinking of you all this walk. And it did me good. Thinking of you, and walking, too.” She giggled, smiling up at him.

“It´s good to see you in this cheerful mood.” Kristoff perked a soft kiss to her forehead. “I´ve been worrying, you know.”

“You shouldn´t. I´m fine. But yes, there is something I would like to talk to you.”

Kristoff pressed his lips together. What was it?

Anna glanced up, tangling her fingers in his hair. “Hey, don´t look at me like a sad puppy. Nothing´s wrong, alright? I just need your honest opinion on something that´s roaming my mind. I trust you to be fair to me and don´t push me into something I´m not. You know, that means life to me!”

She was so wonderful. So passionate. Kristoff pulled her close into an embrace and caressed her back with his right hand, while he cupped the back of her head with his left. “Hey feisty pants, sure I will. I love you and I want your best, you know that, yes?”

Anna nodded into his chest and squeezed her arms tight around his waist.

**********

That was so exciting.

Anna loved surprises. She was all agitated and shifting on her seat.

They were on the way to somewhere; she was not supposed to know yet. It had taken her about ten minutes to pack some stuff for two nights. Oh gosh, that was awesome. She gnawed on her lips, wondering where they were heading to. Kristoff had announced that she should pack some comfy things, then something nice for the evening and then casual. Whatever made her feel comfy, that was most important to him. For the night, it was up to her… Goodness, that one had taken maybe eight out of ten minutes… What to wear for the night… At the end she had packed three different pieces. A long silky nightgown, a silky shorty, and a comfy cotton shorty. No idea what mood will be calling then… That was so exciting.

Kristoff had put on his sunglasses and was driving towards west. So, the coast, maybe? Las Vegas? Goodness. Some cosy beach hotel? He had one hand on the steering wheel, the other elbow rested on the open window frame.

“So, do you think we will need to stop in between for the length of drive?” Anna tried to ask as casually, looking out the window, playing with the end of one of her braids.

“Yeah, maybe, in case you need to step out?” Kristoff grinned towards her and smacked his lips. No other answer.

“What about dinner? Shall we have some on the way, or will we reach our destiny before evening?” She tried another one.

“In case you can´t wait? We can stop before. We have the freedom to do what we want.” Another grin.

He was good in this. Really. Still, it was a funny game. And Anna loved playing it. Maybe she would find out. But then, he intended to surprise her with something and she didn´t want to ruin it. She shifted her weight unto the left and leaned her head sideways to the headrest, just to place a soft hand tenderly on Kristoff´s arm.

“Thank you. It´s sweet of you, taking me out that way, you know. It´s not often I get such a lovely treat. Makes me really happy.” Her eyes felt moisty, but she swallowed the knot in her throat. She didn´t want to make a scene. It was just to wonderful a feeling. All of her felt just so happy, so whole, so… loved and cherished.

“That´s nothing, Anna. You deserve it! I hope you´ll like it. I tried my best, believe me. But then, be warned. I can´t afford the Hilton, you know that. But I guess to know you well enough that this is not what you want, right?”

Anna smiled and chuckled, shaking her head slightly. “No. Not at all. Glad you know me so well.”

Kristoff took a deep breath and then shortly turned his head to smile at her. Focusing back on the road, he mentioned to her as casually as possible. “Well then, honey, why don´t you check the glove box?!”

Anna gasped wide eyed, turned to the handle in front of her and opened the glove department. When she reached inside and pulled out an envelope, she gnawed on her lips again, looking sharply to Kristoff, who sat grinning, casually driving along.

Anna opened the envelope and pulled out the tickets for their weekend, and she shrieked in pure delight and disbelief of what she held in her hands. She had dreamed of this for so long and everybody had laughed her off in her family about it. Kristoff had heard her jovial dreaming about it, and he granted her this trip.

They were on their way to Disneyland!

#Kristanna fanfic #Modern AU #my fanfic #surprise trip #Frozen modern AU #Fanfiction

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smolbeandrabbles · 5 years

Text

Don’t Let Me Forget - Director Keller x Reader (Captain Marvel)

GIF Credit: X

Author’s Note: It’s been a little while since this Director graced my blog. And you all have @mandy23b to thank - who gave me the ultimate challenge of writing Keller without Ms.Maliyah... Well! I only ever was gonna go one way 😉 Because it literally the one idea I had for him Also - Me? Still bitter about the ‘R Keller’ thing?! NEVER!!!

Disclaimer: Captain marvel characters / plotlines not mine,and neither was the R Keller decision, so I will reverse it forever! / lyrics not mine

Premise: ‘Hide The J’ is Keller’s top S.H.I.E.L.D agents favourite activity, you’re prepared to make this a little risque... if he’s prepared to play the game.

Words: 3920

Warnings: Swearing / Sexual Pre-Amble / Sexual Connotations

______

Today is one of those I wish that I could frame Or keep it on a video, replay it over and over Just replay it over and over Cause right now I'm feelin' like I'm walkin' on a cloud But I know what's up's gotta come down sooner or later Will I come down sooner or later? I don't know what tomorrow's gonna bring But can you promise me one thing? Don't let me forget Your hand in mine The firefly drives The time I feel asleep and you carried me inside Kissed my head and said goodnight When we were sparks Just the start Our naive hearts had never felt that kinda fire That you and I were playin' with So don't let me forget One day the sound of you sayin’ my name Won't make my heart stop in the same way That it used to So remind me how we used to Stay up late, sing those songs That made us feel invincible when we were together I always wanna remember... I don't know what tomorrow's bringin' All I know is I don't wanna lose this feelin' ---

All of you liked to play a game every so often. It was easy to play. And there were no rules. Save one: Hide the J.

Your boss’s name was Jonathan Richard Keller. And the little plastic letters outside his office displayed as such. J R Keller. Or R Keller. Depending on who was hiding that J today. And he hated it.

But he was too nice to reprimand anyone for it. So the best you got out of him ever was an exasperated “Agh!!! Guys!! Again!!” Before he sighed and began wandering around searching for it. Sometimes it couldn’t be found and he’d go as “R Keller” for weeks until someone finally returned it or he ordered in a new one. During which time everyone liked to call him Richard - or worse still, nickname him Rich - and drive him insane… Now, it was your turn to do so. Only, there was a small little problem with that. Keller wasn’t just your boss, but your significant other. That wasn’t really a well-known fact, you kept it professional at work, and unprofessional at home. But - if he happened to deem the mission important enough for him to also take part in, there would never be any doubt that you were going to be the one he would ask to accompany him. Some people - like Nick Fury - got wise to this fact. But apart from indicating that he knew about it, Nick never really seemed to show much interest one way or the other. You and Keller were suited to each other and that was fine. So long as it didn’t affect your working relationship, Nick didn’t have any qualms. And most of the time it didn’t - you respected Keller as the authority here... even if sometimes him choosing to lead off with you meant sometimes there would be spontaneous (and sometimes quite steamy) make out sessions that would just “happen”.

The mission prior was no such exception and he held your hand on your knee as he drove you back home. “That was some mission... huh?” “Well... nothing if not for a few thrilling scrapes...” “Oh yeah?” He smiled knowingly as he checked his mirrors, “What kinda scrapes would those be?” “Well I feel like getting a little scratched up chasing the target is one thing - scrapes against the back of elevators cuz someone got a little eager-!” “Oh hush!” “Your defense, Mr.Keller?” He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and returned his hand to yours, clearing his throat; “I thought it was a little bit bigger than that - alright? I misjudged the dimensions!” You couldn’t help but laugh; “Well at least it’s the only thing you misjudged-! If you misjudged your aim people could have got seriously hurt!” “Why do you think I wear glasses?!” “Thought that was more to do with flying.” He whistled through his teeth; “Ah-! Now she wounds me!” “Words are a little nicer than the bruise I’m gonna have now-!” “I told you to hush!” You laughed, “That doesn’t sound like an apology, Director!” “Come off it-! Like I didn’t already apologise a thousand times...” He looked across to you - his sorry in his innocent blue eyes as he kissed the back of your hand. You smiled “Well... when we get home. If those are to be your apologies, maybe you ought to do it another thousand times...” He smiled gently against your skin and focused his eyes back on the road “...Gladly, if that is what you wish...”

** You stared at the piece of paper on your desk You’re Up! You smirked - Oh! You were about to have some fun with this!

Knowing he’d been called out early, you took a leisurely stroll back to his office, you would have nearly all the time in the world to figure out a place to hide it. You wondered why they didn’t just get him a new plaque where this wouldn’t be possible, or why he didn’t order one. Maybe he liked the game? Maybe he just wanted you all as his subordinates to have fun and didn’t want to get in the way of that. Perhaps Keller only acted annoyed with you all when it disappeared. Guessing could well have been as much fun for him as hiding was for you. It took a little longer than usual - the adhesive must have been much better this time round - but eventually you prised the tiny letter off. You held the J in your hand for a moment and smiled gently; now... where to hide it!?

You figured you could hear Keller’s frustrated yell from more than just a few corridors away and that was signal that the game had begun. As the several emails wishing you good luck that suddenly pinged into your inbox also denoted. You heard nothing more until 10 minutes later your team received a group message from your boss: Very funny. What is this the 5th time this month!? Come on guys. Give it up - who has it? You almost wanted to reply with ‘Not me’ but wondered if Keller would take you seriously, or if he’d figure you were trying to cover your tracks and come straight to you. Mind you even if he did come here it was well hidden. He’d have a job finding it.

** There was a knock on your door, and Keller didn’t even wait for a response to open it. “Director?” You weren’t sure exactly what he was here for, considering the analysis you were busy working on wasn’t due for another few days - if he wanted it early (which didn’t seem like a Keller thing at all, but wasn’t unheard of) then he wouldn’t get near enough close to what he wanted. He closed the door behind him though, and then you figured you were in trouble. “Y/N.” Definitely in trouble. “...Yes?” You batted your eyelashes at him innocently. “Give it back.” Your eyebrows knitted together confused for just a second - and then you realised he was taking about the J - quite forgotten about from this morning’s little escapade. “...I don’t have it.” “Yes you do.” “No way!” You didn’t think a fellow agent would sell you out, but also wouldn’t put it past any of them. “Yes, way.” He held up at least three sheets of paper, “Rule one, don’t leave an email trail.” “...Are you kidding!?” - you always wished each other good luck, was Keller getting wise to that or did he always know!? “C’mon where is it?” You raised an eyebrow, hoping you might also have reason to throw the rulebook back at him - “I feel like my boss going through my work emails isn’t exactly policy, Sir.” “Really not hard to set up some spyware that the minute I come into work will tell me you received several emails wishing you luck. Also not rocket science to piece that together, is it?” You pouted slightly, crossing your arms “You’ve made this considerably less fun.” “Well you should think of that before defiling my name plaque...” Keller took a step forward, holding his hand out, “give it back.”

You stared at him for a minute, unwilling to concede. And then realised you didn’t have to, this could still be a game, after all. You stood, hands down and leant over your desk with a sudden smirk. “Why don’t you come get it?” He regarded you coolly for a moment, folding his own arms, trying to work out if you were serious. Tracing his to your clothes however, he decided you weren’t. “...That seems like it’s against the rules.” He was forgetting this game didn’t have any rules. “...Was that a complaint?” The look on your face was almost innocent. Keller rounded your desk, making you stand straight, “No.” “Good. I should hope not.” “I just think maybe it’s a bad idea.” “What, you think other people will try it??” “Oh, what if they do?” “Well I don’t know, Director, I think I might get a little jealous...!” He delicately placed his forehead to yours, and you had to bite your lip to keep the moan of anticipation from escaping. This was probably very against the rules. And god knows how many policies and codes you were breaking here. But then again, the man about to kiss you was the Director – he could bend those rules as much as he liked. His first kiss was soft, and if he thought that was going to get him anywhere he had another thing coming. You pulled back just a little more for every kiss he gave you. “That’s not going to get you very far, Director, now is it.” “Y/N…” Even his voice was supposed to be gently persuasive. Usually it’d work – but you wanted to see how far you could take this. “mm mm…” You shook your head and took his hands in yours – placing them on the hem of your shirt; “You’re going to have to at least undress me for it…” “At least?” He pulled back from you slightly, and you realised that his face was already flushed. Keller was about to get very flustered indeed – and that’s when you loved him the most. You pulled him closer to you, and you knew he hoped you didn’t notice his little gasp at you taking control for even just a second. “Why don’t you just fuck me for it?” The smirk on your face at the bold confidence of your question then did really fluster him. He released his grip on you and stepped back – bright red. Keller really had no way out of this, but you knew he was wishing you didn’t say that. He took a few deep breaths as he tried to decide what was worth it. Conceding that notion to you, or walking away and getting called Rich for the rest of the week until you actually gave it back. You knew which decision it was by the shaky way he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. He still wasn’t looking at you, preferring the floor of your office. This was a movement Keller often made – usually when he’s flustered, but also when he’s shaken, scared or angry. Only the context of the situation would let you know which it was… and maybe also the stage of red his face was at. It was pretty clear which one this was (but, maybe he was a little pissed at you two for putting him at your mercy.) But when he took his next deep breath those blue eyes flicked back to you, and now at more of a steel grey it was clear the only way he was giving you what you wanted was if he was in full control. And if that look wasn’t sexy as hell anyway; the little growl in his voice as he pinned you up against the wall was. “Fine. I guess I’ll find it the hard way…”

Pfft. As if he really minded…!

You both panted, making your way slowly down from that extreme high. He pressed his forehead to yours; tie slacked; shirt unbuttoned- glasses curiously still on. In a hurry, Keller? Your jackets were both discarded and half your suit also; no surprise there - he was trying to find a tiny black letter under all your clothes and you had invited him to do so.

Only he’d failed. Not that he cared much right now.

You unwound your legs from his waist and he let you back to the floor gently. There were still no words; you were both far too breathless for that. He cleared his throat, and began straightening his clothing l - as did you. He got that slightly embarrassed look on his face that always happened when these occurrences transpired in work situations. But you felt they were fairly absentminded, because they would always be replaced with this confident little smirk you loved seeing on his face that he would wear all day.

But as soon as you were both redressed, he pinned you back to the wall with a kiss. “Where... is my letter... if it’s not on you...” You stole another kiss whilst you could and pointed behind you, to your desk. Sitting propped up on your keyboard - black against the white was the two inch ‘J’ from his name plate. Keller’s mouth opened, are you kidding me!?, but he didn’t voice it - although he looked back to you, unimpressed which caused you to grin: “Oops! Guess I forgot it was hiding in plain sight!” He took a step back, gathering it between his fingers, but didn’t relinquish his hold of you. “You...” he didn’t finish, and the anger on his face was a clear facade “I What??” “You’re lucky I like you...” he claimed your lips again, and that kiss was exquisite. You groaned into it none too softly, and perhaps for the second time that day, were glad the walls of every office in this building were sound proofed.

*** Months Later… His car was there when you arrived, but Keller himself was nowhere in sight. That was fine with you, he would likely be along shortly. You sat on the sidewalk and tipped your head back to warm yourself with the last few rays of sun for today.

You realised where he’d been when he sidled across the parking lot with a can of soda in his hand. “Bad day?” “Ha!” He sat next to you and popped the can; “You got that right!” “...I’m sorry.” “Not your fault.” He took a sip and held the can out for you, but you politely declined. His face clearly said suit yourself, so he took another. “But if I was there-!” You tried to protest that it hadn’t been your fault – as one of his top agents you should be making sure this kind of thing didn’t happen to your Director. “I’m glad you weren’t...” You leant on his shoulder, rubbing his arm affectionately. Keller smiled, resting his head on yours “What about your day?” “I’m exhausted...!” “Doing what?” “Running around after you.” Or, the other him. “Ah! Well. See I should be sorry!!” “Don’t be. I’m just glad he didn’t haul me off like you usually do. Or that would have been really awkward.” Keller chuckled, “Sounds like he gave the game away...” “Well, I did find that odd. The alarm bells really went at the right-handed thing though.” “Oh, dear Lord.” He placed his head in his free hand for a moment, voice pitching in embarrassment. “Well, yeah, I knew there was no way in hell you’d suddenly switch your good hand, especially when you also draw left... it looked awkward.” “And no one else noticed!?” You gave a shrug; “If they did I haven’t heard anything.” “Ought to fire them all-!” This time he took a gulp from the can and you raised an eyebrow, “That healthy for you. Director?” “Better than cigarettes.” He shook the now half empty can at you “I thought you had that covered?” He pointed to the car, “No toothpicks or I’d be fine.” “Fine? After your day?” You raised an eyebrow “Well now you mention it, I do have one hell of a headache...” Keller rubbed his wrists, although neither of you were sure if that was because they hurt, or because he was just thinking on it “That’s just embarrassing-! Knocked out and tied up!? Like, how am I supposed to live that down??” “Oh-!” You rummaged in your pocket and held out his pass, “I rescued it.” He took it from you delicately “Ah... thank you... there was a gun with this, did you get the gun?!” “Didn’t bring it in case you go through with that threat of not ever being able to live it down..!” He pushed you, “Not literally!” You didn’t dare laugh; “It’s in my desk draw, don’t worry...” “It’s to be hoped we don’t get called out now!” “Well I wasn’t about to carry an unlicensed firearm around LA after this morning was I!” “It’s licenced-!” “Not to me, Jonathan! To you!!” He attached the pass back to his belt and stretched his arms. You studied his wrists carefully in the two seconds they were on show, glad to see there weren’t any marks “I tell ya...” he sighed, shaking his head “Bound and gagged in your own office... that is not an experience I ever want again.” You folded your arms and smirked “Aw. Damn. And here I thought we were going to be spicing things up in the bedroom.” “What?” He looked to you for a moment uncertainly as it clicked, “What!? Oh god! No! No! No! No! No!” Instantly his face flushed. And you acted disappointed; “Aww... but I thought It’d give you confidence... if you’ve done it once-!” “Y/N...!!” His face was still burning as he buried it in his arms.

He remained like that in silence, flustered and needing to calm down for a number of minutes. So long in fact that you were beginning to wish you didn’t say anything. He didn’t even retaliate to you prizing the drink out of his hands and taking a sip for yourself. “You do realise that you’re R Keller again.” “Yeah I did.” “Certainly wasn’t me this time.” “Oh-! Don’t you say that after what you just implied!!” When he did eventually look up at you there was still a trace of embarrassment painted across his cheeks. As he tried to figure out if the seductive joke was serious. You just sat there, can in hand, the picture of absolute innocence. He raised an eyebrow - “At least buy me dinner first!” You stood, can empty - “Oh no. Dinner’s on you tonight.” You held your hand out. And Keller let you help him up; “oh!” He laughed “Well then it’s on the other me. Ready to go?” “Yes...” He took your hand and kissed the back of it as he walked you to his car, “Just don’t get any funny ideas about any of my ties, alright?!” but he knew by the amused smile on your face that you already were, and he’d just given that thought to you for free.

“Oh! One more thing...” His sigh was exasperated and he rolled his eyes as you got into the car, which had you grinning- “What else could there possibly be to add...?!” “The other you didn’t know what a black box was.” Keller’s eyes widened as he was forced into a stunned silence - then he leant forward to rest his head on the steering wheel and let out a cry of anguish “My reputation-!” You were all too happy to add fuel to this fire; “Some guy at the Pegasus facility thinks you don’t know what a black box is, let that sink in. When he researched famed Agent Keller and sees Air Force he’s gonn-!” “Stop!! Please! I can only take so much defamation!” He wrung his hands and then took a deep breath, running them over his face. “God help me.” He muttered more to himself, then cleared his throat to signal there would be no more talk of this, before he turned on the ignition. The radio was on soft, but Keller turned up the dial. You were met with the familiar sound of country music. “Still at it with country, I hear.” “Well, you know what they say...” he did all his checks before moving off “You can take the man out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the man - so to speak.” You squinted at him, but your look was playful “You pinning yourself as a Southern Gentleman, Keller?” “You said it not me!” But he was grinning “Alright, my Southern Beau...” you reflected his grin, “take me home.” He turned to you with a wink; “Yes m’am!”

It was a pretty long drive back home - with Keller between so many offices his places of residence were never particularly central to where he needed to be. The wide scope also meant that a call coming from LA could send him to a neighbouring state, and he’d been to the Utah facility innumerable times for the labs they had down there. Sometimes you wondered how much Keller really knew - maybe a little too much. He had a way of looking when someone would offhandedly mention something - the way he would shift in his seat and fold his arms - that always made you think he was aware of too much. But he was never telling you. The weight of being a Director must have been great - and you knew he had a great many briefings with the President. How was he supposed to tackle the idea of aliens though? Or... did he do that already? You knew one thing - if you questioned him on the World’s deepest darkest secrets, he would never tell.

It wasn’t long before you drifted to sleep, the sound of the radio and the motion of the car was not something you were going to fight. And not even Keller’s soft humming along was going to stop you. Which made him smile - sounded like you needed rest, running around the Pegasus facility couldn’t have been easy, and it was by no means a late start! Still, he was a little disappointed that he’d missed it; what he wouldn’t give to have reason to go down there himself. He might be able to make one up, he supposed. Fascinated with both space and aircraft, Jonathan knew he’d missed out on a lot by being unconscious on his office floor... His cheeks burned slightly though - As long as I can convince them I really know what a black box is!!

** You were still fast asleep when he pulled up in the drive way. He thought perhaps turning off the ignition would stir you, but it didn’t. Good. He checked he had everything and slid out of his seat, gently closing the car door to make sure he didn’t wake you, before rounding to the passenger side. You groaned gently as he lifted you from your seat, but still didn’t wake, and he carried you and your things back inside - again closing the front door as quietly as possible.

He wasn’t about to wake you for no good reason, so with a soft laugh he carried you upstairs; “Alright darlin’... lets get you to bed...” He removed your shoes and your jacket but left you alone after that before tucking you into bed. Keller watched you for a little while with a smile, as you lost yourself in dreams. He leant forward and kissed your forehead - “Goodnight, Y/N...” He was half way out the door before he heard you call back softly, and he turned with a smile – your eyes were barely open, but they were fixing him with a look of adoration. And he couldn’t help but smile more as that feeling reached his heart. “Sorry, sweetheart?” Keller hadn’t really missed it, he just wanted to hear you say it again. “Goodnight, babe…I love you.” He chuckled gently, turning off the hallway light to let you sleep in peace; “I love you too.” --- @dennismitchell @happyskywhale @wltz-bby #MendoTagSquad.

#Which ever one of you tagged that GIF set gutter thoughts #It's come back to haunt you a little here #becausssssseeeee #Well. I mean. I wrote this #ALSO I wrote the stealing the J thing!#So it's now been in my drafts - been deleted - and has come back!#Congrats Keller you're the first to achieve that accomplishment!#Keller #Director Keller #Captain Marvel #Ben Mendelsohn #I can't tag my girl - saddddd!#Keller x Reader #Director Keller x Reader #Jonathan Richard Keller #HAHA!#102

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pffbts · 5 years

Text

a fool`s act.

GENRE. fluff; angst; school au!

CHARACTERS. ateez`s choi jongho x female reader | no supporting character.

W.C. 3K

AUTHOR`S NOTE.

this is a special request by my younger sister @reee-01 jongho is like her one true love and also it`s his 19th birthday so this is just a special gift for him and her at the same time. also @pookastudies (special tag) anyway, happy reading, bubs!

masterlist | playlist

[01:15 PM] [the words that don`t get uttered but still floats in the air]

―it was no mistake.

if only you would`ve turned your head to your left side, you could`ve seen him. but your history teacher was in-between his revision session with your class and you had no other option but to stay hid in your classroom with your words stuck at the back of your ribs in the form of feelings that never came to the surface.

choi jongho―transferred himself to this school two years ago and it didn`t even take a month before he was already a strong player in the school`s basketball team. for your case, it took him only a week.

though you didn`t want to completely conclude that it was accurately a week but it might be roughly counted as love at first sight. you, apparently, took your time to adjust to the way he was in filtering your mind and it was soon evident during the first weekend after meeting him that you`ve actually started missing him and it was sure a sign of love because you didn`t really feel any sort of intention of being not just his friend. you wanted to be something more than that.

but two years have already passed and both of you have been separated by your respective stream choices. while you`ve taken arts, he has gone into the science stream but it shocks you how he still finds his way inside the basketball court with the same kind of open laughter he did when he first came.

you glance towards the clock that hangs over the blackboard. ah, it`s almost time for the end of today`s school, you sigh. no matter how much you dread this, you still had to accept the fact that you miss him more these days. even though you probably see him walking by your classroom every day towards the basketball court, even though you see him taking the train just before yours at the station while going back home, even though you see him every day at the assembly hall every morning―it has always come back to this, that as the end of your high school comes, you`re probably going to be eaten up by the guilt of not letting out your feelings.

you wished you could go back to the time before his transfer and change your classroom so that you could`ve never met him in the first place. your glances towards him would`ve been much lesser than what it used to be and you would probably not stay up late during your school nights, waiting for the sun to break into the sky so that you can finally dress up to have a taste of his presence in the air of the room you both will sit. the distance never mattered to you as long as you were breathing the same air as him.

craning your neck to remove the aching pain behind your head, you watch the teacher scolding one of your classmate for not giving the proper answer. as you almost start feeling bad for him, you heard the bell ring. the previously shunned classroom became a carefree chaos as you joined in it silently to pack up your textbooks and stationeries.

as you got up from your seat, one of your friends comes at you with a hug and you almost hold yourself against the seat from falling, “i will miss you a lot, _______! can`t believe next time we meet it will be on exam day.”

you feel a sudden jolt inside you as the abrupt clenching inside your chest made it feel more painful. your eyes now as wide as the biggest circle you`ve drawn, your mind settles with the fact that today is, in fact, the day of your last regular high school life. it wasn`t like you were returning her hug rather it was like you were holding onto her from the immense pain that pushes itself now through your chest to your stomach. this bad feeling―you never wanted it to come.

you laugh back at her and your friend makes a pouty face expressing her sadness. “we can meet whenever we want, you know.” you said, though you know it was half-true.

“sure! now let`s go!” she pulls you by your hand and you both eventually got out from your classroom. just like any other day, you turn your head back towards jongho`s classroom only to sigh in despair that he`s probably not in it right now.

the wind struck you repetitively as you stood on the platform waiting for your train which arrives after half an hour. during the other days, you would sit but today your body wasn`t tired enough rather it was your head. you had a hard time looking up at your eye level. the only thing that you watched were the active feet of the platform occupants like you.

suddenly, you heard a voice but it was very unclear. maybe it was the ringing inside your head that was making it more difficult to clearly hear the words. you tried hearing the words clearly. it was trying to say something and you were fighting your earnest to make out the syllables. soon you feel a strong hand slightly shaking your left shoulder. your eyes jerk open at the sudden pressure and you turn your head fast only to meet with the last person you would`ve probably thought about.

jongho`s eyes carried a concerned look and his mouth had formed an irregular shape which only meant that he wanted to say something and not say something at the same time. he was, at least, looked confused. but your fuzzy brain had a hard time realizing what was happening and why is he here holding your shoulder like this.

“_____, are you alright?”

as your name got uttered by him, everything in front of you became clear as the open sea and the air of an early morning. your head started feeling lighter and you gave him a small smile which doesn`t reach your cheeks.

“do you have water with you? you should drink water,” he looks around you and notices that you don`t have enough water with you. he could see it because your bottle was transparent.

huffing back, he pulls out his own bottle to give you a sip. he even goes on to open the cap for you but you remain staring at him the same way. when he motioned his bottle towards you while raising his brows at the same time, you spoke for the first time.

“why are you making me drink water?”

“huh?” his voice sounded like he couldn`t believe what you were saying, “you almost fainted before i caught you by your shoulder. are you being serious right now?” finally without hesitating any longer, he takes your hand in his and makes you grasp the water bottle and forces you to drink at least a mouthful of it. “if you don`t drink this, i`ll just have to call the hospital. you`re making me worried for you, ______.”

you`re making me worried for you.

the words hit you as if you were standing in the middle of the road and a car just suddenly switched on its headlight without any warning. your grip around the water bottle tightens and jongho`s attention diverts from your face to your hand. he was still, though this time gently, holding your wrist.

you looked away from him and turn around facing the other side of the platform and drank almost half of the water he had in his bottle. it was at that time you realized that you`ve been deprived of any hydration, that your body was screaming for even a drop of water, that your mind which previously felt distorted and empty was suddenly asking for confrontation and words that would be only be spoken by choi jongho.

jongho looks at you in awe and then a smile climbs onto his mouth when he gets amused by your way of drinking water like you`ve been thirsty all this while. he watches you pull back the bottle and shove it onto his chest. “thanks.” and, that`s all he heard.

“you need to stop hurting yourself like this,” jongho speaks while he pulls off the straps of his bag from his shoulder. he has settled not only himself but yourself too by almost dragging you into the waiting room. when one of the station officers asked why you both have entered into a room only for the reservation carrying passengers, jongho has taken a defence mode only to request just some minutes because of your sudden health issue.

“what do you mean by that?” you ask in return of his sudden accusation.

“i can see you`re hurting yourself. just because some people doesn`t respond to your glances, your words, your feelings that doesn`t mean they are ignorant of your feelings,” jongho leans back, resting the back of his head against the light blue painted brick wall, “maybe they know more than what you really think.”

“that doesn`t make any sense,” you turn your head to your side this time staring directly at his side profile, “you know that, right?”

instead of replying, jongho turns his head at your direction and just return your glance. your eyes followed his own and you noticed how it travelled slowly from your eyes to your mouth and as it reached back to your eyes, they carried a soft look. his eyelids shivered with an unknown feeling and you had no idea why he was acting this way.

it was evident all these years that your love for him was just one-sided and today as the last school bell rang, you knew it will end like that till you breathe your last. maybe it won`t hurt as much as you think but maybe these memories won`t fade that slowly. but it`s okay, as you told yourself, that it`s okay to be a little crazy sometimes.

but right then as the almost empty reservation room gets emptier, as the air around you becomes much lighter, you realize that he`s finally looking at you and what was that thing in his eyes―you must have seen it, read it so many times in those books. it was like he has waited for such a long time for this moment to come, for this exact minute to come and just return your gaze. it was like, the weight from his shoulders have been lifted, his mind is clearer and he`s finally with you, all alone and no one to take a question out of you.

“jongho.”

it wasn`t a question and neither it was a statement. it was like breathing and you felt something new inside you, at the tip of your tongue. but all he does is smile and this time his smile made his little baby teeth, his gums to show with prominence.

“________, stop being such a worrisome kid,” he closes his eyes for a split second and continues, “you should know, you must know it`s all for you.”

“i`ve no idea what you`re talking about.” you stated, moving your face away from his direction and faced forward.

“thank you for the notes.”

“notes?”

jongho hums back, “i never thanked you because we changed our streams after that.”

your eyes widen as the memory cascades down in you that you did, in fact, shared your final notes to him and it was only because he was not able to catch up with the school works due to his late transfer to the class.

“it`s okay. it`s been ages already.”

“why? but it`s still due, isn`t it?”

“it`s okay. i said, it`s okay.”

“you`re still hurting yourself.”

“will you stop with that?!” you ask that a little loudly and in doing that you almost throw your own backpack to the other side of the room. jongho, who was observing your every change of expression, moved swiftly to the floor and picked it up and put it back right beside you.

“i`m sorry if i`m being a bother,” he starts, “but i just want you to stop thinking of me like a fleeting time. i`m not going to forget about you and i want you to never forget about me. i don`t know what you like, what you love, what books you read, what you do in your free time but i know whom you love,” he watches your face carrying a horrified expression. he watches how you move your head and slowly look up to him but you still aren’t looking into his eyes so he continues, “and i don`t want to escape from that place where you carry me. i`m happy that i`ve been able to stay in someone`s heart. was i able to give any sort of comfort while i was there?”

yes, you wanted to say, yes, you did. you were always there for me, you were always smiling and i didn`t even know if you were hurting from inside or not but when i was hurt you still smiled without even knowing what i was feeling from inside. you were there since day one and even now as i say this in my mind, i think you can still hear me but i`m stupid, i`m scared of losing people and things and all these feelings. so i hide. please forgive me but that look you`re giving me right now doesn`t make things any easier. please smile.

“you`ve no idea,” you say, finally.

choi jongho only smiles.

it was no mistake.

if you would look back at every word he said, they carried so many different meanings that you had a hard time connecting the dots to the line he created where you both stand at each endpoints.

jongho eventually stayed till your own train arrived. he even voluntarily missed his own one, walked you to your home where your mother ended up thanking him a multiple time and also invited him for an afternoon snack which he very politely declined. after all, it was really getting dark and he had to take the next train on time.

days later after the end of your and his last school exam, he had done the same thing as above but this time he did stay behind for the snacks and when you saw him out of the door, he had given a bow at your direction thanking you.

“it`s alright. you can always come in and hangover.”

when jongho lifts himself up and looks down at you from his height, he smiles the same way he did when you had shouted at him some days back in the reservation room.

“no, i didn`t thank you for that.”

“then, why?”

it was at that moment when he starts walking backwards, his eyelids shivering the same way and he says back, “thank you for carrying me in your heart. bye-bye!” and, off he runs out of your sight.

it took you hours and hours of realization to hit you with the fact that it wasn`t just a thank you―it was a farewell of some kind and you heard something breaking with a crack from somewhere.

fin.

#ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez fanfics #ateez blurbs #ateez text posts #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez jongho #choi jongho #jongho imagines #jongho blurbs #jongho text posts #jongho fluff #jongho angst #jonho fanfics #jongho post #special birthday post!#happy 19th!

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sabine-leo · 5 years

Text

Silver lines...

This is the Oneshot for the lovely @theoneanna I do hope I did your idea justice and can light up your day a little bit!!

Author: @sabine-leo

Wordcount: 4756 (I CAN`T cut myself short SORRY)

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x reader

Genre: fluff, hurt, angst, romance, age-gap

A soft knock sounded on your trailer door. “Come in!” You shouted a bit louder and put the script you just had reviewed another time back on the table. A curly reddish-head ducked in and closed the door behind him. “Hey, I thought I come say hello before the madness starts. We only met at the audition!” It was Tom Hiddleston, lead actor of this film and he would play the love interest to your character. You took his outstretched hand and smiled “Hello Tom, that´s so kind of you!”

Offering him to take a seat you tried not to get starstruck. You were relatively new in this business and this was your first major role as a lead actress. Tom got rid of his jacket and sat down, the smile on his face even more handsome than on screen. “You reviewed the script for the day?” He asked, pointing to the papers in front of him. “Yes, gladly there were no major changes.”

Tom laughed and this was the start for a nice and very natural conversation between you and him.

You were happy that the both of you got along quite well from the start, that would make filming a lot easier. The first 9 days you did not have a scene together, but you observed when he filmed and he tagged along whenever you were on set too. The sometimes long waiting time between takes was always filled with conversations, laughs and discussions about the scenes.

One night after you were done for the day Tom was waiting in front of your trailer as you emerged from it. “Care to join me for a drink?” But his eyes got big as the words were out. “You are legally allowed to drink? Or did I embarrass myself just now?” Laughing you walked over to him and said.

“You didn´t. I am actually 25…but I get that a lot, damn babyface!” you grinned a little and Tom laughed relieved. “I think you do have a very cute babyface…” he groaned and shook his head.

“Can I take that back, you don´t have a baby face, I just wanted to say that you look younger and are beautiful..” He rubbed his face. “Can we leave now, I am not succeeding in putting my foot out of my mouth it seems!”

Still chuckling you linked arms with him and said. “I think it´s cute…” Tom smiled down at you with a chuckle and walked you to the car that would drive the both of you back to the hotel. He opened the car door for you and told the security guard that only one car was needed tonight before he got in on the other side and smiled. “Alright, good to go…”

Back at the hotel the both of you searched a nice spot in the bar and sat down opposite of each other. On set you had always talked about the film or the movies and plays the both of you had been part of till now, but tonight it got a little more private. Tom asked you some questions and told you about himself too. It never got boring or awkwardly silent at all. You had instantly clicked outside of the job too. 3 hours of laughs and non-stop conversations later Tom walked you back to your room.

“Thank you for a nice evening (Y/N).” Tom said and hugged you. “I hope I haven´t held you back on calling your family or boyfriend…”

You hugged him back and said “No, I always call them in the morning due to the time difference. And no boyfriend…” You grinned with a little blush. “I see…” Tom smiled and added with a wink

“Same on my side…” Another hug before he let go of you. “Sleep well (Y/N). See you in the morning. I think we will finally have some scenes together.” You opened your door after he let you go.

“Yes, I´m glad they didn´t put the make out scenes first. I´ve never done them on screen before…”

Tom smiled. “Yes, on the first days on set it can be a bit difficult to get the chemistry going. I´ll try to help you feel as comfortable as possible. Believe me, there is nothing sexy about acting it out in front of so many people watching you, getting the lights in your face or correcting your body language from afar in between takes!” The both of you laughed and Tom smiled before he added.

“I probably should have asked you already but I thought getting to know each other would make it easier…Are you comfortable kissing me or would you like me to place my lips always slightly above or to the side?!” He looked into your eyes and chuckled as you made a face and said.

“I hate those so called movie kisses. They always look weird on screen, as if the characters are terrible at hitting the target. I think it’s more awkward when you are kissing my nose then my lips.”

Tom grinned and nodded. “You are quite right…but what I also meant was if you are comfortable with me being 13 years your senior. I am turning grey and definitely don´t have a babyface anymore!” The look you gave him made him blush a little. You took his hand and tugged him into your room. “Uhm….what are you doing (Y/N)?” You closed the door and turned on the lights full force. “Bend down a little!” You demanded and Tom was to flabbergasted to deny your request.

Softly your hands went through his hair and you huffed. “You do have some single silver streaks in those lovely curls of yours.” Tom was about to stand up straight again as you whispered in his ear.

“I´ll tell you a little secret.. I do have some too… and you may be a little older than me, but you are not OLD and I think you are dashingly handsome!”

Tom blushed but stood up straight and went through your hair in return with a little chuckle.

“You are kidding me! Where should those silver streaks be?”

“Another secret…” you whispered “…coloration!”

Tom looked playfully shocked. “NO!”

Looking mockingly distraught you sighed.

“I would understand if you are not comfortable kissing me after that revelation and want to kiss my nose instead!”

Tom couldn´t hold back his laugh any longer but tried to stay stern.

“I think I need to process this information for a moment before I can make a definite decision.”

He tilted his head and looked into your eyes.

“You know what…I think we should try both and then decide what feels better…”

“You are the older one with more experience!” You teased and made him grin.

“Exactly…so…” He took your head softly in his hands. “This is only for research purposes…” His voice was only a whisper as he said the last words and got closer and closer. Your eyes fluttered shut but then his lips hit your nose and then only the corner of your mouth or right above your upper lip.

You broke out in laughter and Tom leaned back to look at you with a drawn eyebrow.

“I guess this isn´t working?!” You laughed harder and shook your head. “Nooo!”

Tom started to laugh too and took a step back. “Alright, real kisses then.” He pecked your cheek and went to the door and opened it. “I´m glad we could sort this out before tomorrow! But now excuse me, I have to find some hair coloration!” He stepped out into the corridor and laughed as you yelled after him. “I dare you! DO NOT colour your hair. Or I will ONLY give you movie kisses that look REALY awkward on screen!” Tom chuckled and blew you a kiss. “Sleep well darling!”

You closed your door with a thud and groaned. Boy, the chemistry was definitely there between the both of you. Even that sloppy movie kiss got your skin tight. Well, it would not be like that when everybody was watching…at least you hoped.

Back on set the next day you paced inside your trailer after reading which scenes would be filmed today. You had to kiss Tom today, in front of the director who was very VERY critical about on screen chemistry and how things should look. “Time to move (Y/N) the assistant shouted knocking on your door. You took a last deep breath and went outside already dressed and in makeup for the scenes.

Tom was deep in conversation with a crew member but as he saw you approaching he smiled and gave a little wave. The director gathered the both of you together some minutes later and talked you through the shoots he wanted to do. Tom smiled as everybody got onto position and whispered

“Still have grey hair, so kiss me silly…” You had to supress a laugh as the director yelled action and you charged at Tom who caught you mid run and twirled you around before he stopped with you still elevated and in his arms. Slowly he let you glide down and as you were on his eyelevel you leisurely started to kiss him.

He tasted like peppermint and something uniquely Tom, it was intoxicating and you had no trouble kissing him for a while at all. Tom guided your legs around his waist and walked you to the nearest wall, pressing you against it with a soft moan before his tongue invaded your parted lips and tangled with yours. It got more heated with every second and you forgot where you were!

“CUT!”

It took a second before the yelled word got through and your brain gave the impulse to stop kissing Tom. Your hands were tangled in his hair and his free hand that didn´t support holding you up had lifted your shirt a little. But you weren´t the only one having trouble to stop it seemed. Tom looked as dazed as you did. For a split second he looked into your eyes with a shocked expression and cleared his throat as he set you down and took a step back.

“Thank you, we will be ready to film the next scene in some minutes.” The director dismissed you and Tom, without looking at you again went straight into his trailer. Your heart sank quite a bit. Had you done something wrong? You managed to get into your trailer without running into someone and sat down for a moment, trying to go through what had happened. No, you had done exactly what the director had wanted you to do. So why had Tom reacted like that?

Some minutes later the assistant came in and told you that there had been a change in the schedule. The director wanted to redo some scenes with Tom first and you weren’t needed any longer for the time being.

Great, now you were on your way to the hotel before you had the chance to talk to Tom about what had made him walk away like that. Not that he owed you an explanation but you wanted to know if you had somehow inadvertently done something to make him behave that way…and LOOK that way.

Later that day you decided that you had to talk to him if you wanted to get through the filming without feeling like a total misfit. You walked through the corridor and knocked at his door. Hoping he was back from set. You were about to turn as the door opened and Tom tensed as he saw it was you.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” You asked and came a little closer with an outstretched arm to touch him softly on his. He went out of the way and nodded. Now he even flinched when you wanted to touch him? What the hell happened?

“Did I offend you in any way?” You asked as Tom came out into the corridor and closed the door behind him. “No.” he answered curtly. You laughed a little on the sarcastic side.

“Good, because I really don´t know what happened after that kiss that you can´t even look at me right now!” You leaned against the wall and watched him pace back and forth.

“I did look at you!” He said somewhat tense but didn´t even bother to look up.

“Yeah… I can see that…” you sighed and took in a breath.

“Look, Tom.. if I did something wrong you need to tell me. You are way more experienced filming than I am and I would hate if the next weeks the chemistry we had would go down the drain and we would behave… well like THAT…” Tom didn´t say a word and you began to get a little angry.

“…Seems like I am the newbie in this business after all cause for a moment I thought we would be on the road to friendship…silly babyfaced me!” You clenched your throat to stop the burn that kept creeping up into your eyes. As he still did not say anything you nodded in surrender and went to the elevator and pressed the button.

“Thanks for the talk! I think I know where I´m at now…” Gladly, the door opened fast and closed behind you. While you walked back to your room you mentally yelled at yourself and your stupidity. Opening your door you decided you could not stand to be in a confined space right now, went outside instead and took a long walk to clear your head. After 2 hours you were back in the neighbourhood of the hotel and sat down on the grass inside a little park. You felt a little more like yourself again and just hoped to get through the next weeks of filming without feeling like a total rookie. Maybe it was time to get your professional act together and behave like the grown up professional actress you claimed to be.

You just wanted to get up as something furry nudged you from the side.

“Oh hey…” you said and smiled as the cute dog wiggled its tail and sniffed the hand you slowly stretched out. “Aren´t you a cute one!” You cooed and smiled as the dog jumped a little and nudged you to pet it some more. “You like that huh?!” You laughed and petted him under his chin.

“BOBBY!” someone shouted and you felt the footsteps coming closer and closer.

“Oh!” The familiar voice said and you looked up to see it was Tom.

“Oh…” You echoed… “Sorry, didn´t know it was your dog, he wanted my attention so…” you left the sentence hanging in thin air and got up to the dismay of that cute brown dog.

“He likes to be petted…” Tom said and kneeled down to attach the leash again. “Sorry if he disturbed you…” he added and stood up again. “He did not…” you said and took a step back. “…He seemed to like my touch.” You couldn´t help but add. There went the professionalism…

Tom sighed and stopped you with a hand on your arm as you wanted to walk away.

“It´s not your fault…it´s all on me..” he started and you snorted.

“Tom, I may be younger than you but I am not fifteen any more so cut the ‘Its not you its me’ crap. I clearly did something you did not like, so let´s be adults and get through the rest of filming. After that you won´t have to see me again until the press tour.”

Tom held onto you, even as you tried to walk away again.

“Would you just listen for a second!” Now he sounded frustrated. “You did NOTHING wrong. I just couldn´t process how it …how YOU made me feel! You kissed ME and I kissed YOU. It was not my character kissing you or your character kissing mine. I WAS TOM and I could not handle my damn feelings. I reacted poorly and I am sorry for that!”

He talked very intense and his voice trembled a little because of it.

“I NEVER felt like that kissing someone on set and it freaked me out thinking about what we have to do on camera further along.” He raked through his hair again and FINALLY looked into your eyes.

“I am 13 years older than you and I should NOT feel what I have felt when you kissed me!”

Was your mouth open? You were sure you stared at him as if he came from another planet.

“So, I kissed you too well?!” You tried to sum up. “God Tom, if you would have looked into my eyes after that kiss you would have seen that I felt EXACTLY the same!” Bobby tugged on his leash and made Tom lose balance and step closer to you as you talked some more.

“Jesus, I think I have never been kissed like that before. It scared the crap out of me but you should have talked to me. If you feel uncomfortable kissing me again, ok, we work on those freakin movie kisses then.” You took a breath and closed your eyes. “But that age gap crap, sorry for being so forward, is just that CRAP. 13 years may sound like something but it is JUST a number…and we already found out that we do have a lot in common…so, you might need to have a better excuse than that for not wanting to explore this chemistry any further.” You pointed from him to you for better emphasis before you looked up into his baby blue eyes. “Tom, I sure as hell would not want to walk away from such an mind bobbling kiss if you don´t give me a better reason than age and silver hair!”

Now it was Toms turn to stare at you. Bobby sat between the both of you, wiggling his tail and probably thinking how stupid humans could be.

“I…” Tom began but closed his mouth shut again. He let go of your arm and breathed deep.

You smiled a little and said “You don´t have to say anything just now. But please do think about my words before stepping a foot onto set tomorrow. You decide how this moves forward. I think I was pretty clear about how I feel…” You stepped back towards the hotel.

“Sleep well Tom, bye Bobby it was nice meeting you!” you waved a little and went inside. You had just laid your heart out. Now it was his turn to decide if he wanted to pick it up or step on it!

Walking without looking back was hard but you needed to do it for your own self-esteem.

Back in your room you went into the shower and ordered some room service with the hopes that you would finally be able to stomach some food. This morning you were to nervous and after that kiss and Toms reaction you were to nauseated.

Dressed in a comfy shirt and shorts you sat cross-legged on your bed and watched a movie. A knock on the door “Room service!” At that your stomach growled and you laughed a little. You got the food and brought it into your room but as you wanted to close the door afterwards something brown whirled in and rubbed itself against your naked legs. “Oh Bobby! Did you get away from Tom again?” You asked and kneeled down to pet him. You saw the little note attached to his collar.

‘I am sorry (Y/N) I behaved like an old, silver haired fool’

Smiling as you read it you freed Bobby of it and rubbed his chin. “Did Tom think about it?” You asked to Bobby´s panting. “He did!” Your head shot up and you saw Tom leaning in the doorway. Bobby’s leash twirled loosely around his hand. You slowly got up and Tom came in, closing the door before Bobby decided to go on another detour.

You watched Tom come closer and closer. “And…what did he decide?” You asked quietly without taking your eyes off of him. Tom smiled a very handsome smile and let the leash drop to the ground.

“He decided…” he said and grabbed your waist and pulled you close with a hard tuck.

“…that he would like another one of those mind bobbling kisses of yours!” His voice had dropped into bedroom territory and did all kinds of crazy things to your heartrate. He tilted his head a little and looked deeply into your eyes. “So, would you kiss him again?” he asked darkly and licked his lips in anticipation.

“Nah!” You couldn´t help but tease him and shook your head. Tom chuckled a little and you added.

“This time HE has to kiss ME!” Tom hummed and crashed his lips to yours. Your arms shot up around his neck and his hands pulled you up against him. One step and you were pressed against the wall again while Tom kissed you like he would suffocate without your lips on his own, your tongue tangling with his. Bobby whimpered one time and hid under the bed as if he needed to give you some privacy. Panting out a breath Tom started to kiss your neck and then back to your lips again. “(Y/N)!” He moaned and rested his forehead against yours. “God, you make me feel so much all at once!” You panted a laugh. “Right back at ya!” Tom stole another, now slower kiss and set you down again. He chuckled as he saw Bobby hiding and took you into his arms.

“That was his first peep show!”

Laughing you stroked down Toms chest and went to pet Bobby.

“Sorry Bobby, We´ll try to behave now!”

“Are we though?” Tom grinned and chewed on his bottom lip.

“Oh yes…at least for Bobbys sake!”

Tom grinned and saw the food. “Is there enough for two?” He asked hopeful.

“Probably not, but we can order some more…and something for Bobby if you want to stay…”

Tom smiled and entwined your hand with his own.

“I would love to stay a little longer…”

The both of you demolished the food you already had and after that the additional order. Bobby was happy too. He got some fresh water and some dogfood. After that he curled up on the chair and Tom and you leaned against the headboard of your bed. “Darling?” Tom softly said and tugged you against his chest. “You sure about this…Don´t get me wrong but I need to know for sure if you are up for the madness that is about to ensue when this gets out.”

You looked up and smiled. “I am if you are! Lets see where this leads us…but I do have a good feeling that this is not just a crash and burn kinda thing.”

Tom chuckled “Oh, it burns alright… believe me! But I too think this is a sustainable flame…not just a quick darting one…” He kissed your hair and tilted up your head with his fingertips.

“One more before I say good night…” he whispered and initiated a slow but very intense kiss.

Rolling onto his side he mounted you and pressed you into the mattress…

“I should go before….” He groaned and pressed another hard kiss onto your lips, then got up and grinned dazed. “Sleep well darling!” Bobby got up and went to the door but came back to get a last cuddle from you. You laughed and watched those two leave your room before you fell back into the pillows with a moan but a big grin on your face.

The next day was THE day… You were nervous like never before and had to go back into the makeup trailer 2 times before you were ready to go to set. Tom had managed to reduce the number of people to the absolute minimum and tried to reassure you that you would be fine. He was in skin-toned, tight briefs and had a towel wrapped around his waist. He held up another towel to shield you when you got out of the bathrobe with just a similar pantie for women but naked otherwise. You got under the sheets and saw Toms clenched jaw. He would not admit it but he was feeling a bit unsure himself. For one he didn´t like the fact that somebody would see you topless besides him and second because he did not know if he would be able to stay in character.

Tom climbed into bed after you and took a breath. You giggled a little and he started to laugh too.

“THIS will not count as our first naked make out session!” He said into your ear and made you laugh some more. The script directed that your characters would wake up together and start a slow and sensual morning make out that led into more. Tom was right, it was really nothing sexy about being in bed naked while 5 people held 3 cameras, a microphone and lights into your face.

Well, that was BEFORE the director yelled action and Tom started kissing your neck and stroking up your chest to take a breast into his hand and lightly squeeze. Tom, or the character he played, rolled you onto your back and moved on top of you. Initiating a hot kiss while his hands roamed your body.

His hips undulated against your core and he kissed his way down your neck to your breasts and down your stomach, covering your breasts with his big hands. His head disappeared under the covers and you arched your back as you felt his tongue lick your inner thigs. He did not have to do that because nobody would see it under the covers but he seemed to be totally in the moment too. Slowly he crawled up again and lifted one of your legs against his sides as he mimicked a thrust.

You felt his hips press against you and he was clearly aroused. Your nails softly scratched down his back to his butt and Tom gave a hoarse moan. He rocked against you and kissed you open mouthed and with panting breaths.

“CUT!”

Tom stopped the rocking but stayed above you. He opened his eyes and looked at you with dilated pupils. “You ok?” he asked hoarse but softly and shielded you with his body from prying eyes.

You nodded but blushed. It had felt so real and you needed a minute. Tom turned his head to the director and asked with his professional tone again. “Could you please give us a minute. That was a bit overwhelming for a first scene like this.” The director nodded and cleared the set. Tom continued to shield you until everybody was gone and then got the blanket higher as he collapsed on top of you with a soft moan.

“Thank you!” You said and stroked through his hair. “Thank you for looking after me like this!”

Tom lifted his head and grinned wickedly. “Darling, I would do anything that nobody get´s to see you naked but me.. but this was not solely for you…” You looked into his eyes questioningly.

“I would not be able to get out of bed just now!” He chuckled and pressed his erection against your core to your gasping breath. “You clearly turn me on…” He grinned and rolled onto his back.

Giggling softly you kissed his cheek and whispered into his ear. “Think about Bobby in a puddle of mud and the mess he would make before you could get him into the tub!”

Tom laughed and looked at you.. “Helping a little, but what if you got all muddy helping me wash him and I would have to wash you too?” The grin that spread on his face was all kinds of sexy!

“Stop it Hiddleston!” You smiled and nagged his side.

“Ouch!” he laughed and watched you get out of bed, taking the WHOLE blanket in the process and wrapping it around you. “So much for shielding ME against prying eyes!”

He laughed and hoisted himself up onto his elbows.

You threw him your bathrobe and bit your lip as you saw how tight his briefs still were….

“Darling!” he warned and covered himself.

The both of you would make it through. You were sure about that… And you could not wait to make out with him for real! But before that you needed to get through take 2 and a whole lot more kissing!

General Tags for: @amazinggraces-world @tanishahka @drakesfiance @confessionsofastrugglingteen @inlovewithfreyamikaelson @heart-shaped-hell @theoneanna @marikochi @xxxeatyourh3artoutxxx @awkwardfangirl2014 @rainbowsinthestorm

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston fanfiction #fanfiction #writer of tumblr #fanfic #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston hurt #tom hiddleston angst #hiddleston army #hiddlestoners #british actor rpf #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston oneshot #raffle winner #real person fiction

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staytiny-angel · 5 years

Text

Shai's Masterlist

I'm Shai and these are my writings! I write fan-fiction for Wrestling (Mostly for WWE but people from other promotions do pop up occasionally) and K-Pop (Mostly BTS but other groups maybe in the near future) I sometimes take requests but its not the norm for me. My writing partner and sister from another mister is @lilmissriottbliss most of my writings have her input in some way, shape, form or fashion.

If you've been following me long enough you'll notice that there are several stories missing from this list. If its not here its because I made the decision to delete it from my Tumblr because I knew it was never gonna get finished and I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up that it would. (I no longer write Aleister Black as a main character or Ambrollins) The exceptions to this are Drew McIntyre vs The World and Chase both of which will be back shortly, streamlined for easier reading. If it is on this list I PROMISE you its getting finished.

Multi-Chapter Fiction - All my multi chapter writings now live on AO3

Safe Haven

Rated: E

Co-written with @lilmissriottbliss

Pairings: Drew McIntyre/Becky Lynch, Eventually Drew McIntyre/Becky Lynch/Seth Rollins, Jon Moxley/Renee Young, Sasha Banks/Bayley/Charlotte Flair

Warnings: Violence, Language, Smut, Angst,

Summary: After an 8 year absence, 25-year-old Seth Rollins returns home to his pack but in no way resembling the Beta Werewolf that ran away after a violent misunderstanding with his brothers. Seth is feral, and trapped in a form the bitten wolf shouldn't even be capable of..he is the victim of a powerful curse Meanwhile Alpha Werewolf Drew McIntyre and his part Banshee, Part Witch mate Becky Lynch have joined the unorthodox pack of Haven in search of the final member of the triad a seer told the pair they were destined to be apart of.

Chase

Co-written with @lilmissriottbliss

Rated: E

Warnings: Graphic Violence, Language, Smut, PTSD, Nightmare Imagery

Pairings: Seth Rollins/Becky Lynch, Finn Balor/Violet Gillath-Balor (OC)

Summary: Becky Lynch’s latest mission? Track down rogue special forces officer Seth Rollins, take back the experimental weapon he stole and kill him. It sounds simple until the beautiful flame haired assassin actually meets him.

The Demon's Lair

Rated: E

Warnings: SMUT, PTSD Recovery, Mentions of Alcoholism, Suicidal Ideation, Angst

Pairings: Seth Rollins/Becky Lynch is the main pairing but they will not be in a monogamous relationship for the majority of this fic there will ABSOLUTELY be smut scenes of them with other people.

Rebecca Lynch is an old friend of Finn's from his home in Ireland and is every bit as tempestuous as her fiery hair and black and gold Harley would suggest. After the implosion of her last relationship, Becky took Finn up on his offer of a job at the Lair and moved to New York for a fresh start. While she's content to play the field at the Lair the last thing she's looking for is a new Submissive of her own, especially not one as high maintenance as the gorgeous dark-haired man currently sitting at her bar is rumored to be...

Seth Rollins is known by the inhabitants of the Lair as the untameable sub. It's said that the Army vet turned owner of his own private security firm breaks Dominants as easily as he makes millions as CEO of his company Arc Security. For all his stoic professionalism at work, Seth is a spoiled brat at heart due to his privileged upbringing and is constantly testing Dominants to finally find the one who will truly give him what he desires.

War of Hearts

Co-written with @lilmissriottbliss

Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Becky Lynch | Rebecca Knox/Seth Rollins | Tyler Black, Seth Rollins | Tyler Black/Original Female Character(s), Finn Balor | Prince Devitt/Original Female Character(s)

Seth Rollins was once known as the Bad Boy Prince of MMA, now years after a career ending knee injury he's stepping into.the Octagon again not as a competitor but as his little sister's coach.

Unfortunately for him the pretty redhead across the ring from he and Paige is not only the girl he just had a one night stand with, but the protege of the man who ended his career...Finn Balor.

Poltergeist

(ON HIATUS)

Co-written with @lilmissriottbliss

Rating: T

Warnings: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Foster Care, Background Relationships, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Lots of it, Partying, Slow Burn, Polyamory, References to Depression, Bullying, Genderfluid Character, Closeted Character, Emotional Hurt, Family Drama. Deaf Character Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Family Angst and Feels Feelings Realization

Main Pairing: Finn Balor | Prince Devitt/Seth Rollins | Tyler Black/Original Female Character {Violet Gillath}

Summary: Finn Balor didn't want to move to New York with his little sister to yet another foster home, yet at his new high school he feels drawn to resident grunge bad boy Seth Rollins and his trouble maker of a girlfriend Violet Giliath

Checkmate

Rating: Explicit (Its filth yall)

Pairing: Drew McIntyre/Seth Rollins/Becky Lynch

Warnings: SMUT, Sex Magic, Mentions of decapitation, and a severed head?

Summary: King Sethiel, Queen Rebecca and their loyal General Drew celebrate finally taking back Seth’s birthright.

Fun and Games

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Becky Lynch/Seth Rollins, mention of Drew McIntyre/Roman Reigns

Warnings: Dom/sub, bondage, blindfold, temperature play, orgasm denial. Tiny bit of Daddykink

Summary: Becky helps Seth relax after a long week at work, then Seth turns the tables and thanks Becky for being so good to him. (AU)

When The Wolf Comes Out

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Baron Corbin/Reader

Warnings: Smut, Daddy Kink, Spanking

Summary: Baron’s girlfriend gives him one last special present after his party’s over.

In a Minute

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Dean Ambrose/OC (Allie), Ballins if you squint

Warnings: Language, Feels, Smut, DaddyKink, Bondage.

Summary: Allie is the girlfriend of Dean Ambrose, but Seth Rollins is her best friend ..... w here does their falling out leave her?

Caught Red-Handed

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Finn Balor/Demon King Balor/Angeline (OC)

Warnings: Dom/Sub interactions, DaddyKink, Oral, Orgasm Denial, Threesome? (Does it count as a threesome if two of the participants share a body? I feel like this should come up more often when it comes to Finn) SO. MUCH. FLITH

Always

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Seth Rollins/OC

Warnings: Smut, Language, Possessive Seth, name calling, Listen people, this is filth pure and simple.

Summary: Seth's girlfriend lets Drew McIntyre flirt with her, Seth is unamused.

Be My Bad Boy

Rating: Explicit (like really, this is flith)

Pairing: Seth Rollins/Celeste ‘Cece’ Milanesi-Rollins (OC)

Warnings Language, slight voyerism Dom/sub play, SMUT. ALL OF THE SMUT. Heel!Seth/Heel!OC (Is that a warning? It should be.)

Summary: Seth is in the mood to celebrate after his victory over Shinsuke Nakamura, unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it his wife started the party without him.

All I want for Christmas

Rating: T

Pairing: Elias/OC

Summary: Elias has a crush on Alana but is having trouble expressing his feelings so he decides to just use the medium he knows best - music.

Just a Little Crush

Rating: M (only for cursing)

Pairing: AJ Styles/Shane McMahon

Warnings: Language, Men tions of Daddy-Kink

Summary: AJ Styles for a// his cocky attitude and ego in the ring, is a shy guy when it comes to lo ve. Sex he can handle fine but lo ve? It turns him into a babbling mess. This never pro ves itself more evident than when he develops a major crush on Shane McMahon.

#shai writes #Shai's Masterlist #Seth Rollins #Becky Lynch #Drew McIntyre #Roman Reigns #Dean Ambrose #Baron Corbin #Elias Samson #Charlotte Flair #AJ Styles #Shane McMahon #Rollynch #Charlynch #Ballins #Rolleigns #Rollintyre #Rollynchtyre #Charollynch

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heartfeltheart · 5 years

Text

Alchemy: Magic Vs. Science

Chapters: 4/25 Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist/Harry Potter Rating: T Relationships: Edward/Winry, Lan Fan/Ling, and May/Alphonse. Primary Characters: Edward Elric, Severus Snape Additional Tags: Crossover, Teacher!Edward, BrOtp Edward/Severus. Sassy beyond measure. Series: Part 1 of 9. Summary: Magic and Science, are they the same or are they completely different? It just takes one person to point out all up and downs. Along with breaking the stereotypes that come up with being a wizard, alchemist and most of all being human. Thank you, @amynchan! D/C: I do not own Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist. Discord: La Red(Mesh Mash of… stuff.): https://discord.gg/KYjmVAb Alchemy Series: https://discord.gg/DejEYNJ

“English and Edward’s accented voice.” “Amestrian or another foreign language.” “Written notes.” ‘Thoughts.’ First Name: Informal Last Name: Formal (Or used to annoy others)

"Just how much did you actually make in three months?" Snape could not help but ask in total awe, all disregard of appearances at this point. He stood next to Elric and Kavex inside Elric's new personal vault within Gringotts. Right in front of him are multiple mountainous piles of Galleons, Sickles and Knut's. He had previously visited faults of families with money, and none of them could even match Elric's riches. "What did you do exactly in the military?"

"Hm?" Elric looked over his shoulder to see Snape's gob smack expression puzzled. Why do people keep making that face whenever he mentions something about his money? He hardly uses it as it is, making good financial decisions (Aka: his brother Alphonse), and 'borrowing money' from that bastard Mustang. "I haffe changed it from months to a zingle year. I do not vant to end up broke and not be able to exchange it later on."

Elric eyes seemed to dull when he though over Snape's second question. He wondered how he should answer that one, after all even though he told Snape a lot of things from his past. Said past should remain under lock and key. "Rezearch and field vork. A lot of the field vork required me to traffel effervere and fix many problems...Dat and I got a bromozioin."

"You are not going to give me a straight answer aren't you?" Snape deadpanned.

"Nobe." Elric grinned at him, albeit his grin did not quite reach his eyes.

-.-

"All the other supplies you require are not going to be sold here," Snape muttered under his breath as he and Elric left the Magical Goblin run bank.

"The nodepooks, bens, and bencils?" Elric asked he kept his gaze down as he walked down the stone steps. "I vould haffe thought as much conzitering hov the contract vas vritten. The ink, paper, and hov it vas vritden."

"That is highly perceptive of you, Elric." Snape mused following after Elric.

"It is bart of the job descripzion." Elric muttered bitterly, taking the last step of the steps of the bank. He stood there waiting for Snape. "It zure as hell help me stay aliffe out dere...sort of...Is dere anything elze I should go zee?"

Snape thought for a moment and wondered what else Elric would need or show him about the Magical Wizarding World. Robes? No, Elric will probably scrunch his nose at it. Wand... no. Quidditch...no. Snape went the mental checklist on what exactly they should do next. Nothing came up to mind per say. Fortunately for him, Elric's stomach answered for them.

Elric flushed in embarrassment, he covered his stomach. "Zorry, I did not haffe a full breakfast."

"Leaky Cauldron it is then." Snape said curtly, he signaled for Elric to follow him through the busy area.

"Hov does your community communicate?" Elric asked as he walked along side of Snape while avoiding running into anyone or accidentally hitting them with his suitcase. Even though some of them look like they deserve it. "I not once zaw a telephone, mail post or anything of dat manner."

"We use owls." Snape pointed at a shop that was just ahead of them.

"Ovls?" Edward asked, his eyebrow arched upward at the thought of using an owl as a mode of communication. Wouldn't there be a worry of someone taking the owl and get the information that said the animal was carrying. "Is dat effen zecure? Hov long does it take for dem to deliffer mezages? Hov much could dey carry?"

Elric blasted question after question about the mode of communication that wizards have. Fortunately for him, Snape answered him fully without much of a hassle as Elric took in his own words...the majority of his previous and, unfortunately, future students.

"...Hov much do dey uzually cost?"

Snape stopped mid-stride nearly causing Elric to tumble over him.

"Vy did you stop?" Elric complained trying to regain his balance again.

"Do you want an owl?" Snape acquired, looking over at Elric who looked rather embarrassed about it.

"Vell...I vant to get in condact vith my friends and family." Elric explained, he had his head turned towards the direction of the shop that sold owls. He unconsciously gripped the handle of his suitcase harder. "But...I do not knov hov I vould once I get to dat school."

"There are a going to be a few restrictions on what you could and could not write..."

-.-

Edward stared into a cage, his eyebrows slanted downward, and lips pursed in concentration. The owl in question seemed to be copying his expression. One would tilt their head to the side and the other would copy. This seemed to continue on for what seemed like forever.

Edward stared at the owl now with a scowl, to his amusement, the owl attempted to replicate it. With a grin, Edward leaned away from the cage and called out to the owner of the shop. "Vat kind of ovl is he?"

The owl ruffled its feathers at Edward.

"She?" Edward asked he grinned when the owl seemed to understand his words. "Vat kind of ovl is she?"

"That is a Boreal Owl..."

The Boreal Owl that Edward had asked about is about 9 inches long, has brown feathers with white and copper feathers flickered around it. It has a disk-like face with yellow eyes that gave the owl a surprised look. She is a tiny owl compared to a lot of the owls in the shop and the only one that caught Edward's attention.

-.-

In the back corner of the Leaky Cauldron Elric and Snape, along with Elric's owl sat around a table waiting for their late lunch to arrive.

"Your name is nov...Xerxes." Elric cooed into the newly named owl cage that was placed in the seat next to him. His suitcase along with a bag filled with items and a book to take care of Xerxes, along with information he would need to take care of her. Severus sat across of him with a half amused expression. It was rather amusing to see Elric get his fingers get pecked out and not learn his lesson just a moment later.

"Since you are officially going to be teaching Alchemy at Hogwarts." Snape started off to say, as Elric place his travel coat over Xerxes cage. "You are provided with your own private quarters which is already available for once the school year begins. Or would you prefer to move in immediately?"

"Er...ven is dat again?" Elric asked flexing his fingers in an attempt to regain some feeling of them.

"September 1st," Snape replied.

"Hm...hov do the students go to dis school?"

"They go by train."

"Ah...trains..." Elric mused remembering all the times he had to use a train to transverse during his journey to regain his brother's body. A lot of those times made him grumble in dismay at how 'eventful' they were. "If ve vere to go dere nov, hov vould ve get dere?"

"Two ways, floo powder or apparition."

"Vell it be alright if I go py train..." Edward asked, he suddenly felt sick to his stomach for some strange reason at the mention of the mode of transportation. He didn't even know what they are or how they get a person from point a to point b. All he needs is some normalcy at this point. "I do not dink my stomach could handle anything elze at dis point."

"Hey, it's him!"

"You're right, George!"

"Boys come back, don't run!"

Elric and Snape's heads turned to see the Weasley Twins running towards their table. Their sights focused on Elric. "Mr. Elric!"

"Fred, George, are you poth finished vith your shopping?" Elric asked as both boys stood in front of him. They were holding onto the same books he bought for them earlier.

"We are taking a break." Fred started off saying.

"Getting a quick lunch before we continue." George continued on saying.

"How much longer are."

"You going to stay here?"

"I am chust going to eat my lunch and leaffe," Elric said as a waiter came and gave him and Snape's food.

"Excuse me?"

Looking over the top of the twins, Elric saw a woman that looked similar to the twins. Their mother perhaps...

Fred and George turned around to see their mother standing behind them. They could see Charlie standing along side of their mother, and the rest of their siblings were are the other side of the pub.

"Ja?"

"Are you the one that bought the twins their books?" Mrs. Weasley asked she stared at the young man. He seemed far different than what the twins had told her. She would have assumed by their talk, which mostly compromised of a Mr. Elric being a huge bookworm, intelligent beyond comprehension, vastly knowledgeable in Alchemy and not even from the area by the sounds of it. An old age magic that the only person she knew that branch of magic is Dumbledore.

"Mrs. Weasley..." Snape stated, catching the older woman out of her thoughts.

Mrs. Weasley broke out of her thoughts and saw who was sitting with Elric. Her eyes widened at the sight of Snape. "Oh, Professor Snape, I didn't see you there."

Elric shot Snape a look which made the Potion's Master bite back a snarky remark. "This Edward Elric, he will be teaching Alchemy the upcoming year. He was the one that bought your...boys...their books."

"We told you." The twins said to their mother, then they turned their attention back to Elric. "Mr. Elric, this is our mum and that is our brother Charlie."

Elric gave him a short wave. "Hello. You must pe Fred and George's mother, and you are...Charlie right?"

"Ah yes er...Professor Elric." Charlie replied unnerved by Elric's golden colored eyes. He has seen different colored eyes but that is because a good friend of his could turn her eyes into whatever color she wanted them to be. Elric eyes seemed...different. Not in a sense of color but the emotions that range within them. Or lack of for that matter. His accent didn't help for that matter.

Elric waved him off about the title. "I do not like dat term...makes me feel like...."

Elric shook his head as his mind shifted towards memories that made him feel pissed off or a huge sense of dread. "Mr. Elric vill do for nov...Is dere zomething you need?"

"We wanted to say." Fred began.

"Thanks for buying us." George continued.

"Our books." Fred and George finished together. "We promise to study the books you got us to get into your class."

"Heh, dat inclutes all of your clazes, especially...Brofesor Snape class." Elric pointed at Snape, his nose scrunched up when he said Snape's title. "Dat zounted zo veird...pozions vill help you further on your studies in alchemy."

"Really?" Charlie, Fred, and George asked at the same time.

"Really."

-.-

"I'll come by within the week to give you your tickets to the train," Severus said as he and Edward left the Leaky Cauldron. He is helping Edward carrying Xerxes cage as Edward held onto his suitcase, Xerxes items and a paper bag that contained the blonde's dinner for that night. "If you have any more questions, write a letter and have your owl mail it to me."

"Hov vill Xerxes knov where to go precisely?" Edward asked as they crossed the street.

"It is one of the many secrets that this world holds, Mr. Elric." Snape droned.

Edward eyed him from the corner of his eye, scrutinizing him. Several moments later, Edward snorted and looked away from him. "I vill figure it out one vay or another."

Severus' lips curled back in hidden mirth. "Of course, Mr. Elric."

"Could you stop calling me dat!" Edward huffed out while he rolled his eyes. "I do not like it ven my friends calling me dat."

Severus stared at Edward momentarily before he looked away and changed the subject. "Do you have anything you need to ask before we part ways?"

"Vill my letters be monidored?" Edward asked in a low mummer that his lips barely moved as he spoke.

"As long as you do no make it obvious and to not inform anyone that could use it towards their advantage," Severus responded just as quietly. "Am I to assume you are going to tell your brother?"

"Hm..." Edward grinned weakly. "Vat vill be the rebercuzions if ve get caught?"

"Considering that he is your brother, an alchemist and part of a world where no magic exists, just like you." Severus thought over the situation in his mind. What would usually happen involves going to court, or having your mind obliterated. The current case is...different. This time, it is dealing with people that are from a country that has no trace of magic but they deal with something far different. This country, Amestris, have alchemists and it is public knowledge. From what Edward had told him, everyone knows about alchemy and it is not exactly a secret. Unlike the Magical World where everything about magic is hidden away from anyone that does not have a magical background. "Ensure he does not speak it to anyone else about this...However there is the possibility that the government will attempt to read your letters..."

"Do not vorry about dat last part." Edward grinned, a glint of mischief sparkled in his eyes.

Severus stared at Edward wondering if he should be worried for a second. "You already thought of something didn't you?"

"It is zomething dat alchemist knov and share," Edward explained to Severus. "Ve all vrite in a ferze dat ve only understand."

"What?"

Edward only laughed as he quickly picked up his pace when he saw his hotel in the distance. "Dink of alchemy as a...riddle."

Severus only shook his head as he also quickens his pace. "Are all alchemist like you?"

"Combared to all the other alchemist I knov...I am rather normal...zort of..." Edward laughed.

"I am going to regret this aren't I...how normal are they?" Severus asked, deeply regretted when he saw Edward stop walking and shiver excessively.

"You do not vant to knov." Edward shivered in total fear. "Zo much sparkle..."

"Sparkle?"

"You do not vant to knov..."

-.-

Al...

Winry...

Granny...

Hawkeye and Mustang...

Edward sat at the desk that was in his hotel room writing letter after letter, to his loved ones and close friends. The letters covered about his travels so far and only sharing the bare minimum depending on who he was writing to. Some of the letters seemed straightforward or seemed like total gibberish. The only thing was, to someone with an alchemy background will know that the letter that seemed straightforward is total gibberish and the one that is gibberish is straightforward.

Edward looked over his shoulder to see the open window and the curtains are softly billowing by the wind. He had let Xerxes out for the night to allow the owl to stretch his wings and look for a quick midnight snack. Resting his chin on the palm of his left hand, Edward allowed his mind to wonder. Just how is he going to go about teaching a bunch of kids alchemy when they come from a total and different background than him. They all grew up in an environment filled with magic or not knowing about magic and alchemy. At least back in Amestris, everyone had some knowledge of what alchemy is. Here... Nope. Zip. Nada. Zilch.

Picking up the letter that is to be sent to his brother, Edward quickly wrote for some advice about said situation. On how he should go about it. If he does not find a way soon, those kids are going to end up the middle of nowhere. Only given a knife and a riddle to solve... That would only lead to problems on both sides.

'I knew I should not have agreed to this.' Edward thought dropping the pen he was using against the desk.

Plop. Plop.

Something hit the back of Edward's head and it quickly landed on the floor. Edward blinked trying to comprehend what just happened. He turned around to see Xerxes sitting on the bed staring at him and down at the floor repeatedly. Looking down, Edward saw something soft and... oh, Truth...

"GUAH!" Edward screamed and jumped on top of his chair in fright. "Stupid bird, what the hell!"

On the floor is a small mouse staring up at Edward with wide eyes.

-.-

Several countries away...

Alphonse Elric sat crossed legged in the middle of a forest, his eyes closed, shoulders loose and a look of total concentration. Like a switch, one of his eyes cracked open looking out in a seemingly random direction. "Hm...seems like Brother is having a good time."

"What was that Alphonse-sama?"

"Nothing Mei."

-.-

"I wonder what that idiot is doing now?" Winry said to herself as she works on her latest blueprints of an automail someone had ordered for her to make. Her mind did not seem to be fully into it as she kept thinking about her...fiancé. She only shook her head at the thought, Edward asking her to marry him and she agreeing to it. "About time Edward...about time."

"He better come back home in the same shape he left or I'm calling it off." Winry seethed under her breath, tightly holding up her trusty wrench menacingly.

-.-

"Where is it...?" Granny Pinako looked through box after box inside her home. Looking for something she had packed away for safe keeping and perhaps for a future use. Said use is coming up the next spring or summer, and her only hope is that what is in the box managed to survive after so many years being away from the sunlight. "Here it is."

Pinako pulled out a box that was well over her height and brought it out towards the light. With a cutter, she opened the box and attentively took out the contents of the box. A photo album, a small decorative pillow, a velvet box and finally...a white wedding dress. "Good as new."

-.-

"Sir..."

"No."

"Sir."

"You can't make me."

Click.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes. Yes, you do."

Roy Mustang picked up a pen and continued off with his paperwork that was way overdue. His second in command inwardly smiled as she put away her gun and went back to doing her own paperwork. In one or more occasion, Riza would catch Roy staring at her and to ensure he would go back to his work she would pull out her gun. Needless to say, Roy still hasn't gotten the message.

Tag List Below:

Permanent Tag List: @runestarchild @princesskitomi @fanfictionpromptsblog @souleateralicestein @vixen-uchiha @okami-knight @legendaryneckjudgestudent @weird-homosapien @justafanwarrior @vivilakitty @ravennightingaleandavatempus @if-you-give-a-chat-a-cookie @moonwatcher04 @darkshadowguardian @two-faced-biatch @kris-pines04 @mewwitch @edwardhatori @kuroko26 @tall-and-angry @bloody-no-kissu @crazylittlemunchkin @tbehartoo @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @melicmusicmagic

#Alchemy Series #FMA #HP #HP/FMA #Chapter 4 #Crossover #Au #Magic vs Science #fanfic

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laceymorganwrites · 4 years

Text

Not enough

Word Count: 1,159

Pairing: None, hinted Sasuke x reader

Warnings: swearing, this whole Thing is a mess so confusion I guess??

A/N: I found this in my unfinished file on my Laptop and decided to finish it, I didn´t know where I wanted to go with this but I wanted to post it anyway

“Mom, I´m home” you called to let your mother know you were there. No answer. Maybe she was out getting some groceries. “Naruto! I´m back!” you tried calling for your brother. Still no answer. That was weird, normally he´d at least say hello. You started to get worried but then remembered you had homework and went to your room to do it. After you finished you went to the kitchen to make some food. In the same instance the door opened to reveal your mother, Naruto and Sasuke Uchiha. You raised an eyebrow and your mother awkwardly laughed. “From today on we have a new family member” she announced. You frowned. You have heard what happened to him, but him being a part of your makeshift family? You didn´t see it. Your mother, Naruto and yourself were cheery people. He was just...grumpy. You were in the same class and he mostly ignored everyone and was chased by a horde of girls who crushed on him, you just didn´t see why. You asked yourself how you should treat him. You were a kind person, but then again it would probably be better if you didn´t come too close to him, you should just ignore him like he ignored you. That way you wouldn´t annoy him and maybe the task of living together would be conquered easily. “You´re not gonna say anything?” your mother asked. You shook your head, continuing to make dinner. Your mother frowned at you. “That´s not nice, (Y/N). At least say hello!” she scolded you. You shook your head again, why should you say hello and force yourself upon him? Your mother sighed, she knew you were stubborn and if you didn´t want to do something you wouldn´t. You served dinner and ate in silence.

The next day the three of you walked to school together. “Oi, (Y/N), do you think Sakura will fall in love with me if I get popular?” Naruto asked. You chuckled. “No”. “Why not?” Naruto whined. “It´s not something you can control. You´re just unlucky to have fallen for her. She will never love you. Because she´s more interested in looks than character, she´s blind.” you explained. “Good morning, (Y/N)” your friends greeted you and you accompanied them to the classroom. You sat down in the corner of the room, not noticing Sasuke sat next to you. Classes were boring as always and in recess you were met with glares from the girls and their cries for Sasuke. Your head started to hurt and you were glad when classes were over. “Oi, (Y/N). Wait up. Let´s go home together” Sasuke called you. You stopped and waited for him to catch up. Then you walked home in silence.

Arriving home you helped your mother cook and clean the apartment, she used to be a kunoichi but then she got injured and couldn´t go on missions any more. Now she took care of orphaned children like Naruto and Sasuke.

After eating you three did your homework together.

Naruto took longer than Sasuke and yourself, but you helped him.

Next he went out in the village again, Sasuke went to train and you read a book.

Years later this memory was nothing more than bittersweet.

It wasn´t the fact that Sasuke left the village, left everything behind that made your heart ache, no, it was the way he forsake everybody, this utter betrayal you felt every time you thought about it.

And not only his betrayal, but the betrayal of everybody in the village who welcomed him back as if nothing ever happened.

The way they just accepted him back into their lives and kept on living as if he never left.

He never even apologized.

It left you feeling like a sick joke, after all you were the only one who wasn´t okay with him returning like that.

“Come on, (Y/N), are you really gonna ignore me like you did when we first met?” he sneaked up to you while you were training, making you fume. You were so angry at him, didn´t he realize that you did so not want to talk to him right now?

Instead of answering you threw a kunai at the target on the tree as hard as you could, only concentrating on that.

“That´s not fair….I came back for you” he continued, sounding like a whiny child. Not fair? You chuckled darkly, he had no right to talk like that. You know what else isn´t fair, Sasuke? Leaving like an asshole, breaking all of our hearts, ignoring Sakura´s love for you because you crushed on the wrong person. You thought I wouldn´t notice how you behaved around me? Maybe I would´ve liked you back if you were another person.

You scoffed at him saying it was for you, so not only did he betray all of you, he also dared to lie to your face, he had some balls… but balls without brain didn´t do him any good, you thought as you sent another kunai flying.

Sasuke sighed and you hoped he´d leave, but instead he fetched the kunais for you, placing them in your hand, his touch lingering a while longer.

He looked so soft when he looked at you, there was a time when you would´ve believed him, but now wasn´t that time.

“What do I have to do? Please tell me, I can´t stand it when you ignore me like that” he pleaded.

Instead of giving him the satisfaction of talking, you shot him a death glare, fire sparking from your eyes.

“I´m not gonna leave until you talk to me” he said, making you roll your eyes.

Real mature…

You wished he´d leave you alone, but you were too proud to talk.

“(Y/N)! Come on, I made a mistake, okay? I admit it, it was stupid, but I´m back now and everyone accepted me back when I apologized and explained myself. Don´t make this harder than it needs to be” he raised his voice at you, making you throw the kunais so hard that you had trouble getting them out of the tree.

“It´s pretty bold of you to make demands like that, like you´re in a place to do so. I don´t have to forgive you because everyone else did! And I don´t have to talk to you if I don´t want to. You´re not as important as you think, Sasuke” you spat, who did he think he was?

“I´m sorry….” Sasuke mumbled, but sure enough he left you alone after that.

Your life went on as usual, everything was back to normal and it felt right now that he was back, as much as you hated to admit that.

It was like he was never gone, helping out in the household and giving you smartass remarks while being a sweetheart that still stumbled over his words when it came to kindness and emotions.

You hated how weak you still were for him.

#naruto #naruto imagine #sasuke x reader #naruto scenario #naruto oneshot #naruto sasuke #sasuke uchiha

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