#It was just some guys in New Zealand

[isa-ah]

🙊 okay maybe ill stir the pot A LITTLE..

[jellybeanium124]

I think the best part of 1.10 of OFMD is getting to hear the name “Doug” in a New Zealand accent. That name is objectively funnier when said in an NZ accent.

[transmandonnie]

bored today so here’s a picture of me trying to figure out who subwoolfer is

[alilaro]

love my new trauma response when roommates annoy me now is for my brain to send me intrusive thoughts about poisoning their food like a freak

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Hey uh I just found this out and I'm FURIOUS but miami zoo has a kiwi bird. Which is fine if they were doing what we do here and keeping it in a darkened enclosure with clear notices to be quiet and not bang on the glass. But instead this shy, solitary nocturnal bird is being kept in broad daylight and people are being allowed to pet it. NZ twitter is out for blood right now. https://twitter.com/zoomiami/status/1637864741954637824

…fucking yikes.

The kiwi I’ve seen in other AZA zoos have been kept according to the practices you describe: dark exhibit on a flipped light cycle, in a signed quiet area. What it looks like Zoo Miami is doing is… not good.

Here’s the link to their tweet with a video about the encounter (so it’ll embed):

The video shows a kiwi out of its exhibit: on a table in what looks like a back room with bright overhead fluorescent lighting. The kiwi has no room to move around and no place to hide as people pet it and reach around it to take selfies.

What do you pay to bother the kiwi four days a week - a species which in NZ is apparently illegal to touch without permission from the Department of Conservation? $25.

Obviously it just started and I don’t know anything more about it than what’s online, but even so, this is such a bad look for an AZA zoo, holy shit. I know a bunch of new ambassador animal rules just got promulgated… I wonder if this meets them. I’ll have to go do some reading. Also, USDA is now promulgating new bird rules (it didn’t regulate birds until just recently, only mammals) so this will also have to pass their muster soon.

The guy who runs Miami’s PR, and manages the animal media like the birth of their first kiwi chick in 2019, is known for big media stunts. I’m not surprised by this but I don’t think it’s going to go over well. There’s a lot of pressure on zoos to offer new encounters and programs to help make up for inflation and pandemic losses but this not how to do it.

I’d honestly suggest New Zealanders who are upset about this contact Zoo Miami formally (more than just on twitter) using the contact form on their website, and maybe even the AZA to express concerns about this program animal’s welfare - as well as the lack of cultural awareness at one of their accredited facilities.

Edited to add: a statement from Zoo Miami is supposed to be forthcoming tomorrow. I’ll update once we have it.

[hellsitegenetics]

TAC

sauropoda is a clade of saurischia that includes some of the largest dinosaurs we currently know of. if i'm going to submit something to you it's going to include these guys. they include some familiar faces like the brontosaurus. but the largest specimen within this group is a giant barosaurus fossil.

credit to Paleonerd01 on DeviantArt

they've inhbabited every continent (including Antarctica!) and give us those comically large prints we're so fond of zooming out on.

another good giant friend of mine is the colossal squid. why do they keep making bigger squids? because i love them. i love their huge eyes and big fights with sperm whales. i love their elusiveness. i love that we went "kraken?" haha very funny. cthulhu? sure guys. and they EXIST <333

credit to Te Ara in New Zealand

and charismatic megafauna are cool and all but have you considered something a little smaller? maybe a Black Capped Chickadee? they tend to travel in groups or two or more when they're flying outside the nest and their call "chicka dee" functions as a warning call of increasing intensity depending on how many "dee"s they add.

and bugs? here's the thing: i have fought with Polistes metricus for years growing up. have they stung all of my loved ones? absolutely. do they also eat an invasive species of worm in my area? yes. and while these guys will sting you without a second thought and fly away laughing, they are a necessary evil. just like the birds, they stop for a sip of water. they are, i must admit through gritted teeth, an important part of my ecosystem.

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Closest match: Acipenser ruthenus genome assembly, chromosome: 41 Common name: Sterlet sturgeon

[cheriladycl01]

So, you lied to me? - Lando Norris x Tourist! Reader

Plot: Going on a travel year you end up in Monaco, the plan wasn't too fall for the man who helped you to the British Embassy and gave you a place to stay when someone stole everything from you ...

Credit to yrsonpurpose for the GIF

You took a gap year before university and decided to travel you'd started off the New Year on a flight from London, to Qatar to New Zealand. You travelled around New Zealand and Australia for the majority of January, before moving on to Papa New Guinea, Fiji and Samoa.

You then travelled round the South Asian countries, like Indonesia, Singapore, Thailand, Vietnam and the Philippines and Taiwan all throughout February. You then moved onto China, doing both Disney Parks while you were there and sight seeing. You did South Korea and Japan.

Coming into April, you moved onto Sri Lanka and India, and The Middle East, doing Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Bahrian, Qatar, Oman and Saudi Arabia.

Afterwards, now having done 2 continents, you moved onto Africa, you spent the end of April and the majority of May travelling here, before leaving for Europe.

A nice 2 weeks island hopping around Greece, before a week travelling up the boot of Italy.

It was when you drove to Monaco in a rental car that things got difficult.

You were walking along the harbor where all the expensive yachts were docked wishing that one could be yours. You didn't have all your bags on you, the larger ones left behind in the hotel room you'd booked for the night. But you had your important stuff on you, like you passport, your drivers license and all your travel documents.

You were taking a picture on your nice Canon camera of the yachts and the street that had weird red corners rounding it that you put down to being measures to just help drivers slow down round the corners, but they were definitely an eyesore.

Every time nice cars drove by there was whistles and claps that made you look at what car it was, you could never tell what model it was but they looked nice and you guess you could say sporty.

As you were distracted taking your pictures a guy comes up to you with a small, parcel cutting knife in his hand. He slit the straps of what you thought was a really sturdy bag and the weight notifies you to the loss of the bag. You let your camera drop as you turn to see the guy now holding your bag and starting to run away with it.

"Hey! Stop" you shout before running after him.

"Aide, Aide" you shout as you continue to follow him, your minimal French not helping as people scold you for being a bustly tourist.

You aren't really looking where you going and you loose him at a busy intersection of people, you spin round looking at every possible direction he could have gone in.

"Shit!" you whisper to yourself quietly tears coming in your eyes. You spin round a little to quickly, bumping into someone who drops the bag that they were holding.

"Désolé, mon erreur" you try looking at the young gentleman you'd bumped into in a hoodie and jeans. He looks at you with a confused look, a smirk coming onto his face.

"Oh sorry, tu ne parles pas français? Maybe Italian, erm fuck scusa, parli italiano?" you ask with again the bare minimum of Italian you know.

"I speak perfectly good English" he smiles, laughing a little as your expression turns to shock.

"Oh! Oh I'm so stupid. Hello!" you smile looking at the very attractive man in front of you, you blushed a little looking up at him.

"You look panicked what's wrong?" he asks.

"I was tacking pictures of the harbor and some guy took my bag. It has everything in of mine and I don't know what to do" You say to him looking a little more panicked.

"Everything as in money ... because I can help with that" he says placing a hand on your arm.

"I don't care about the money, but he has all of my documents. My passport, my drivers license everything" you cry a little.

"Oh! Erm, I have a friend who was born here, and let me get him and he can help us file a police report. Then mmm the British Embassy is all the way in Paris and you cant get a flight so we'll have to drive there..." he starts to rant and your face turned shocked.

"We?" you ask, confused as to how this guy has just inserted himself into your life drama's.

"Oh yeah, I've gotta help you out now. You got that whole damsel in distress thing going on right now! Any way damsel, what's your name?" he jokes and you look over at him offended.

"I am not a damsel in distress! And Y/N" you retort.

"You so are, the tear stains, the wide, helpless eyes, the guppy fish face your pulling right now, the butchered French and Italian to a strange man who actually is British... Y/N" he laughs making you pout and push him a little.

"I don't even have a place to stay after 3pm today and I cant check in anywhere without ID" you say rubbing your head, looking around as if the man would randomly pop back up and hand you your bag back before saying how sorry he was.

"You can stay at my place, I have two spare bedrooms" he smiles and you look at him in shock.

"You live here, in Monaco ..." you ask.

"Yeah, I moved here a few years ago, for ...work" he offers, he phones his friend walking off for a few seconds alone before he pulls you along one of the side streets and too a quiet cafe he went to, to keep under wraps.

"Okay, Y/N this is my friend ... er Percy" he says pointing to Charles, so far you hadn't shown any signs of knowing who he is and he didn't want you to catch wind of that.

"Hello Percy, its nice to meet you" you smile and he looks at you with a vacant yet confused expression.

"Oh and whose this you are beautiful" you compliment looking at the girl behind him.

"Y/N this is my girlfriend Alex" Charles indicates to Alex behind him who smiles and pulls you in for a kind hug that you definitely needed. You could hear both of their strong accents as they introduced himself.

"Oh, I never got you name, what's your name?" you ask turning to look at Lando, who freezes for a second.

"Erm, my names Robert, but you can call me Bob" he smiles and you raise and eyebrow at him.

"Hmmm, you don't look like a Robert... or a Bob. Interesting choice" you voice your opinion making everyone awkwardly laugh.

Charles, Lando and Alex took you to the nearest police station in Monaco, Charles translated what they were saying and you answered to which he and Alex would help translate back.

Charles explained that they were escalating it because you are a tourist in need, but you picked up some words that made the sentence not sound like that at all.

You were asked if you had a place to say and Lando explained you'd be staying with him until everything was sorted out.

The Monegasque police got in contact with the Paris British Embassy for you, they explained that the police had sent over you information and if you wanted to hold off on a new passport for a few days to see if it would turn up you were more than welcome, but right now your passport was on lockdown.

And that was how you ended up spending the end of July and all of August with Lando, it was strange really. For a man who had and extremely nice collection of clothes and a very large apartment he didn't go to work often. There was one room you weren't allowed in which is where he often went, you assumed it was a man cave or gaming room where he played with his friends because you heard lots of shouting and aggressive banging.

He'd been so sweet, he took you on dates from going out to dinner, to picnics, to going swimming and lots more. It felt like more than a summer fling. Especially once he asked you to be his girlfriend, which you immediately said yes too.

But he got a lot more twitchy after he had.

Eventually, Lando or Bob as you knew him took you to Paris so you could get your passport. He explained that he travelled a lot for work and he would need to leave soon and you explained that before you bumped into him you'd been on a gap year travelling the world.

"Baby, why don't you come with me?" he asked randomly as you were both lying on the sofa, cuddling while watching a film.

"You wont even tell me what you do for work Baby! And besides I had a schedule that I'm already behind on. A week ago you said you didn't mind going our separate ways for a little bit until Christmas and then you'd come to England with me" you say playing with his curls.

"Okay, I'm going to be honest with you now... my name isn't Bob" he says shyly and you sit up at the speed of light turning to look at him.

"I knew it! So you lied to me?" you exclaim laughing.

"So, what's my boyfriends actual name?" you ask looking him dead in the eyes, he leans up on his elbows before sitting the full way up.

"Lando, I am Lando Norris" he smiles.

"Hmmmm, Lando... Lando. I could get used to that" you smile.

"You aren't mad?" he asks looking over you, brushing you hair back and tucking it behind your ear before kissing your cheek.

"I knew you weren't being completely honest when we first met... but I also knew you had your own reasons" you offer.

"I think its going to be easier if I just hand you my Instagram" he admits with a gulp as he hands you his phone. The first thing you notice is how many followers he had, there was around 10million and he had nearly 2,500 posts.

You look at the friends list, and one peeks your interest. Charles Leclerc, who looked exactly like Percy who Lando had introduced you too.

You then go back and look at his bio, that told you his actual job.

"So, I'm dating a super famous athlete?" you ask looking up at him away from the phone to see his head down in his hands. He turns to the side to sneak a look at your expression, his eyes a little glossy.

"To be specific, a Formula 1 driver" you ask again and he nods.

"You are such a muppet, my god" you laugh before pulling him into a hug.

"How aren't you upset with me?" he ask unsure.

"Well, I agreed to date you, because you are you. I doubt you change into Mr Hyde when you become a what was is Porsche race-car driver? I fell in love with you, not Bob, not Lando, you. So whether that is Bob, who kindly helped a crying lady on the street who just had her passport stolen from her, or Lando a cool and amazing race-car driver. Whoever you are is the person I love" you grin and he pulls you into a hug.

"So you want to join me for the last few races? Or you want to finish this world trip of yours?" he asks.

"Well, looking at your calendar, I can actually meet you at the rest of the races, While travelling. I'll continue to do Europe until you have the Netherlands, and ill go back to Italy, just for you. I'll miss Azerbaijan and Singapore because I did that, but I'll knock out some of South America, I'll meet you for Austin, then we can do Mexico and Brazil together, then we can do Vegas together! And by that point I can call it done with my trip!" you exclaim and he looks like he considers it for a second.

He's shocked, he cant remember the last time a girlfriend tried so hard to link up their schedules like this, and proved that they'd be able to work despite some potential scheduling issues.

"I love you. I fucking love you" he grins pulling you back down onto the sofa kissing all over your face making you giggle.

A/N: I've been doing a lot of Lando recently, I don't know if you can tell but I love writing about him, he's my fav to write about right now.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @kapsylia @laneyspaulding19 @viennakarma

[strawberriescherrieskiwi]

Sweet Girl

Anon requests:

Maybe some jealous Timmy? So excited you're writing again! Happy holidays!

Wordcount: 2.1K+

Masterlist

Description: It's the last party before you and your friends go home for the holidays. All you want to do is drink and hang out with your friends and boyfriend. Too bad you are dating Kyle and he is in a mood.

A/N: I love love love Kyle. He is probably, after Wonka, my favorite to write for Timmy these days. Had a lot of fun writing this. It is the same Kyle and reader from Good Girl.

Warning: Christmas smut. Possessive Kyle. Jealous Kyle. Public sex. spanking, degrading. Praise kink.

You laughed along with your friends as you nursed your spiked hot chocolate. “And then what happened? Did everyone get up and clap?” You teased your friend Henry slapping his shoulder.

“Har har. You don’t have to believe me, but it did happen that way,” he laughed, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

It was your friend’s annual Christmas party before you all went your separate ways for the holidays. All finals were finished, the campus was closed, and the alcohol was flowing all night long.  It wasn’t often that you let loose and drink and party. But it was a special occasion.

“So where is your better half today?” Your roommate asked taking a seat on the other side of you.

You glanced around the room at her words with furrowed eyebrows. You arrived at the party with Kyle. His arm fused to your waist and your hand shoved into his back pocket. You two were always joined at the hip but after an hour of drinking with his bandmates you went to talk with your group of friends, but Kyle promised to join you soon.

You turned back to your friends. “I have no idea. He is probably playing his bass or taking his 10th smoke break,” you said with a shrug.

“You two are adorable,” Henry said. “I’m jealous. My girlfriend decided to go to Uni in New Zealand.” He complained.

“Ah you poor baby,” you said, grabbing his cheeks and smushing them together. “What will poor Henry do?” You teased.

Henry scoffed and pushed your hands away. “I am going to go to NZ for Christmas and New Year’s. And come back and complain to you guys.”

Your small group laughed at his comment. “Just don’t clap when the plane lands,” you said, drinking more of your hot chocolate when your roommate leaned closer to you.

“I found Kyle,” she whispered.

You followed her eyes to see Kyle leaning against the wall near the drink table. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he was pinning you to your seat with his dark green eyes.

You felt your heart beat up. The way it always did when you saw your boyfriend. You waved slightly but Kyle didn’t react. His band was standing around all talking animatedly but his focus was on you.

“I can’t tell if he wants to kiss you or eat you,” She teased knocking her shoulder against yours and pulling you out of your little staring contest.

Laughing slightly, you shrugged. “With Kyle, it’s hard to understand,” you said before standing up. “Excuse me.”

“Hey. We were about to play Mafia,” Someone shouted after you.

“Play without me,” you called over your shoulder as you made your way over to your boyfriend. “Hey, here you are,” you smiled, leaning against the wall next to him.

“Here I am,” he said in his low monotone voice. To anyone else, Kyle sounded like he always did. Half bored, but you could hear an edge in his tone.

“Something the matter?” You asked, blinking owlishly up at him.

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and shrugged. “Nope.”

“Which is Kyle for yes. So, what’s wrong?” You whispered in case he didn’t want his bandmates to hear.

“Nothing. Go hang out with your friends,” he said shuffling once more.

You rolled your eyes. “It’s like pulling teeth with you,” you groaned grabbing his hand and leading him upstairs. You found an empty room and pushed him inside. “Okay. So are you going to continue to lie to my face or…”

Kyle chose to ignore you and set on the edge of the bed. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and lit one up. You groaned again. Kyle was lucky you loved him and put up with his stubborn ass.

As you opened your mouth, Kyle spoke first. “So, Henry’s girlfriend is still in Australia?”

You furrowed your brows at the change of subject. “New Zealand. And yes, she will be there until she graduates. He’s going for the holidays.”

Kyle nodded nonchalantly leaning down on his elbows. “I bet you are going to miss him, hum?” He said cruelly.

You blinked at him, confused by his words. “Okay, what the hell is that supposed to mean? He’s my friend of course I’m going to miss him.”

“Really.” He said stressed uninterestedly.

“Okay. You are in a mood, and I am not going to let it ruin my night. I’ll go back to the dorms tonight. And talk to you in the morning,” you said in no mood for his crap.

“Okay. See you in the morning.” He said laying back completely on the bed. You stare at him for a moment; Waiting to see if he was going to say anything.

When it became clear he wasn’t, you scoffed and left going back downstairs to the party. You took your seat back between Henry and your roommate. “I need something strong to drink,” you announced.

“Trouble with the boyfriend?” Henry guessed.

“Nope. I just want to enjoy tonight. Our last time hanging out this year,” you said plucking his cup from his hands taking a swing only to cough as you tasted it.

“What the fuck is that?” You got out between coughs.

Your friends laughed. “Not something for lightweights,” they teased as you got up and went into the kitchen to raise your mouth out.

You swished water in your mouth a few times before spitting it out. Turning around you were startled by Kyle standing behind you. Close enough that your chest brushed his.

“Kyle I am not in the” Your words were cut off by Kyle shoving you against the sink and pressing his lips to yours.

You froze for a moment and Kyle used that opportunity to spin you around and bend you over the sink. “What are you doing?” You panted grabbing the sides of the sink so you didn’t go face-first into it.

“Reminding you who you belong to,” he scoffed, pulling your clothes down. You bit your lower lip.

“Anyone could come in, Kyle. Now here,” you complained.

“Good. I fucking want them to see. You’re my girl. My good girl, right?” He asked pulling your hair roughly.

You gasped nodding. “Yes. Yes. Always your good girl,” you replied.

“Then be good for me and take what I give you.” Kyle slapped your ass a few times. You moved pushing your ass into his hand. Kyle chuckled taking both of your ass cheeks and spreading them to look at your dripping cunt.

“You are dripping for me. I bet Henry couldn’t make you this fucking wet. This cunt only wants me. Only belong to me.”

“Is that your problem? You’re jealous?”

Kyle slapped your cunt roughly. You gasped and moaned out loud. “I didn’t ask you to speak. I thought you were my good girl.” He spanked your cunt again. Your hips stuttered and you bit your lip trying to hold back your moans.

“Oh, none of that,” he ordered. Kyle grabbed your jaw pulling your lip from between your teeth with his own teeth. “I fucking want everyone to hear you,” he ordered. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes. I’ll be good. I promise,” you whined pressing your thighs together. Your mind was blank of anything that wasn’t Kyle. You didn’t care about who heard you. You just needed his cock inside of you.

“That’s what I like to hear,” he smirked, kissing you roughly. You whimpered into his mouth. Your eyes fluttered as you submitted to Kyle and his demands.

Kyle pulled away from you and bent you back over the sink. He spread your legs and stroked his fingers along your slit. His fingers were soaked, and he groaned pushing three of them inside of you.

“Look at your greedy little cunt just sucking my fingers right in. Fuck always so hungry for me.” He thrust his fingers deeper, curling them just right to make you see stars. You moaned louder fucking back on his fingers.

“So, fucking slutty for me. Fuck.” He could listen to your whining and moaning for him all night long. His jeans tightened and your cunt fluttered around his fingers. “Close already? I haven’t even gotten my cock in you yet.”

“Please, Kyle. Fuck me. Let everyone hear who I belong to.” You begged looking over your shoulder at him. Your eyes were filled with tears and your bottom lip jutted out.

Kyle’s eyes closed for a moment as he growled. “You’ll be the death of me,” he said pulling his fingers out of your cunt. He quickly undid his pants and pulled them down enough to get his cock out.

He slapped his cock against your cunt which pulsed now that it was empty. Kyle dipped his cock teasingly into your cunt. You bucked against him, but he was quick to pull out. “Tell me, sweet girl. Who do you belong to? Whose cock are you aching for?”

“Y-ou. Kyle. Only you. Please,” croaked out. Your skin was on fire and blood was pumping loudly in your ears.

“I love it when you beg so prettily for me.” He pressed searing kisses to the back of your neck then he replaced his lips with his hand to keep you pinned to the sink. You whimpered and wiggled your hips in anticipation.

His cock lined up with your throbbing cunt and stop. You whined titling your back. No words could come out of your mouth besides whimpers and whines. He hadn’t even fucked you yet, but you were a mess.

“Remember, only I can have you like this. You need me, sweet girl.” He said before snapping his hips forward filling you completely. You gasped and your hands tightened on the sink.

“Fuck. Take my cock, sweet girl,” he snarled pulling back and thrusting back in. Kyle pumped his hips faster and deeper inside of you. His grip on your neck pulled you back with his thrust to make sure his cock never left you completely.

You were nearly screaming as he fucked you against the sink. He shoved his cock into your tight cunt over and over. “Do you like that? Like my cock making room for you. Molding your cunt to my cock?”

“Yes yes yes. Love it. My cunt is all yours. I’m yours, Kyle. I promise always.” You dropped your head and took deep breaths as he fucked all the air out of your body. Kyle never let up and tightened his grip on your neck and rutted into you quickly.

“Mine. You’re mine,” he growled as his cum painted the inside walls of your cunt. “Shit, take my cock,” he slapped into you harder, slapping your ass and forcing you over the edge. “Milk my cock like the good girl you are,” he ordered.

He let go of your neck and put his hands over yours on the sink and kept his hips locked against yours. You clenched around him, and your legs shook. “Your good girl,” you huffed.

Kyle slowly pulled out of you and turned you around. Your eyes were a bit unfocused, and Kyle took your face in his hands. “My sweet girl,” he smiled leaning down and pecking your lips. “You’re mine, correct?”

You nodded. “Yes. Yours.” You dropped your head on his shoulder. Kyle held you close and rubbed your back soothingly as you came down from your high. Kyle put you on the counter and dropped to his knees.

“No more,” you whimpered.

“I’m just going to clear you up. I have to take care of my good girl. Yeah? I always take care of you. Don’t I?”

You leaned back on your hands as Kyle spread your thighs and dipped his tongue inside your cunt. He moaned taking his time as he cleaned you up savoring the taste of you both on his tongue.

Your hips grind on his face and you moaned pathetically. Too tired and oversensitive to do anything else. Kyle kissed your clit and both of your thighs. He leaned back and stared up at you.

You lazily looked down at him. “You were so jealous,” you said, voice completely soft and broken.

Kyle shrugged getting to his feet and fixed your clothes. You pulled him closer and tucked his cock back into his pants. You put your head on his chest and puckered your lips.

“Does my needy girl need a kiss?” He teased. You whined and he took pity on you kissing you.

“I can’t believe you fucked me in someone’s kitchen,” you groaned when what you just did hit you.”

Kyle smirked. “Now everyone knows that you belong to me.” He grabbed your chin making you look at him.

“Yes. Yours. My jealous Kyle.” You said putting your hands in his back pocket and playfully squeezing his ass.

“Call me whatever you want as long as I’m yours and you’re mine.” He said, kiss you harshly.

Taglist.

@wandasforyou

@mel-vaz

@gatoenlaciudad

@iloveneilperry

@s-we-e-t-t-ea

@robertpattins0nswh0re

@valencia-rou

[disembodiedvoicebracket]

Propaganda

Sauron

The films tell us he literally has no body at the time the story takes place. He's only shown in any kind of body (humanoid, but really tall) in the prologue scene and in flashbacks. He has very few lines, but the ones he does have are in a scary, evil sounding voice with either a British or New Zealand (probably New Zealand) accent. The giant flaming eye that is most commonly associated with him is not his body, but rather a tool he uses (it's magical, all-seeing), and really just serves as a representation of him for movie purposes (it's not a literal eye in the book, but the movie needed a way to show the character and some of his power that the book just does through description)

Phone Guy

None

[whorbidmore]

okay, so, I've fallen victim to the leon kennedy brainrot steadily overtaking me, following me from Tumblr to Pinterest, to Instagram and even the absolutely fucking dreaded application of TikTok. I don't even use it that often??? and the algorithm is just like 'wow, yeah, this little fuckers gay as hell send in the 40 year old meow meow!!' and having watched Death Island fairly recently, I'm gonna have my opinions on what this dude would be like. Cus my brain loves to rationalize shit and think ab 'what if this mf was someone real?' so... fuck it.

Leon Soft Kennedy Headcanons

SFW

accidentally bigoted. - im sorry but let's be so fucking real here. he's a 40 something year old man who spent the majority of his life in either the military, a police training academy in the 90's, or otherwise working under the U.S Federal System with minimal/no time between missions to unpack absolutely everything he's got going on... the guys gonna have some problematic tendencies. Obviously that doesn't mean he means any of that or is incapable of change, etc. etc., but I know for damn certain this dude would laugh a little at Bill Burr's borderline to blatantly misogynistic material and has probably chuckled unironically at the attack helicopter jokes. But, he's not a complete dick, and would definitely become more critical of those kinds of jokes if it's pointed out to him.

honest to God, Dad Without Kids™ - it's not simply enough for me to leave it at 'but it's the vibes!!' so, I'm gonna break this shit down. Leon is absolutely Gen X incarnate. I can fucking guarantee you that on his off days he accidentally ends up dressing as an undercover cop; I'm talking cargo shorts, light blue button up, those fucking standard issue boots cus "they're perfectly good shoes" and those stupid ass sunglasses... you know the ones I'm talking about. Let's say you're living with him, right? And you're... you, and you wanna watch something on TV. This dude would strain himself getting up like a turtle fallen backwards on its shell, stand up, walk right in front of the TV screen and stand there with his hands on his hips. It doesn't matter that he had to piss, he needs to get a better look of what's happening! Does those really loud, obnoxious coughs and sneezes, absolutely blows his back out doing one at least five times a year.

Only watches British Reality TV - Considering he's canonically a film buff, I'll say that this is purely for whatever he gravitates towards on general streaming services. I honestly don't see him being the type to regularly tune in to standard American cable TV, or only does so under specific circumstances like American Ninja Warrior or maybe Forged in Fire if there's absolutely nothing else. It's not something that's exclusive to Americans, — I'm from New Zealand and I do this too, — but Leon absolutely falls into the category of watching British Reality and Game shows purely because of the accents. I'm talking Jeremy Kyle, The Big Fat Quiz of Everything, Taskmaster, The Great British Bake Off and so on and so forth. It doesn't matter that baking isn't his forté or a passion of his, if Josephine curdles her buttercream by over mixing, his hands are in his hair in utter disappointment. 100% tries to mimic their accents too. We all do it, don't lie.

Has... very dated music tastes - I don't know if you could guess, but the last paragraph included me calling myself out and name dropping some shows I watch anyway or grew up watching, and I'm just saying that this is gonna be no different. If anything? This'll be worse! Since I'm very passionate about the music I listen to and have the inability to keep my interests separated from the other, of course my love of particular bands will bleed over into my interpretation of Leon's character! Anyway, all that for me to say that Leon fucking LOVES 90's grunge musicians, specifically Pearl Jam and Soundgarden, as well as early nu metal bands like Korn (their dubstep phase did not happen.), TOOL, and Rage Against the Machine — and no, he unfortunately doesn't see the irony of him being a fed and listening to Rage, — but would also have a soft spot for psych rock, post-punk and shoegaze. My man's definitely laid awake at night, sobbing without expression as he struggles to accept that Ada never really wanted him like he wanted her while listening to fucking Slowdive. My hottest take here is that he doesn't really listen to Deftones. Like he'll occasionally blast My Own Summer, Change, Bored or Rosemary, but anything outside of those? He just didn't listen to 'em. My second hottest take is that he does NOT like Slipknot, which kind of pains me 'cus I do, but I fucking bet you this dude would actually adopt one piece of "Gen Z lingo" or whatever just call them cringe. Though admittedly he would've been jamming the fuck out to Psychosocial and The Devil in I when they came out. Went off the deep end in Vendetta, obviously, and drunk-cried himself to sleep on the couch listening to Linkin Park.

Very confusing spending habits - On one hand, we all understand that Leon came from money, — he was implied to have been born into a mob family from my understanding? And I doubt he'd ever really had to worry about being fully, irrevocably broke, — but I'm sure that growing up in the U.S Foster Care System made him at least a little more cautious of where his money comes from, where it's going, what he's spending it on, etc. So, on the one hand, he's apprehensive to spend recklessly, particularly on perishables. But also, if he can drop over $100,000USD on a motorcycle that got absolutely fucking cheese grated into the road, and spend a perceived, metric fuck ton of money on designer leather jackets and massive watches, it's gonna be hard for me to call him 'financially conscious'. On one hand, he gets apprehensive on spending more money than he needs to on food since he's "just gonna shit it out later", but if he sees a cool watch or a nice suit in a shop window? Money's suddenly not an issue! Not because he's materialistic, but because the one thing he really maintains a sense of control over in his life are his possessions and the way he dresses. The D.S.O can call him in for another months long mission whenever they please, and all he can realistically do is allow the government to tug on his leash and put him where he's needed. He may as well spend their money on things he wants!

Gets out... enough? But also, not really? - So, personally I've pegged Leon as more of an introverted person, — amateurly typed his MBTI as possibly ISFJ? — so he doesn't really feel the need to go out and meet new people or really hang out with anyone. If somebody invites him out? Sure, he'll go. Otherwise, it rarely occurs to him to meet up with friends or colleagues at a cafe or anywhere. I think he'd prefer to just go there alone, mostly for the sake of having somebody else cook for him as opposed to actively seeking out the atmosphere. It's pure convience in his mind. And remember when I said in the beginning about him accidentally being at least a little misogynistic? Yeah, that was me trying to say that he regularly tries to hit on younger waitresses. Not because he actually wants anything to do with them, but simply because it's an ego boost. He likes that he can make girls half his age blush or offer him their numbers, because it tells him that he's still desirable, and ultimately, that gives him the power to reject them politely and go about the rest of his day. If they don't reject him first, of course. Admittedly, Leon's audacity towards women peaked during Infinite Darkness.

Since I'm planning on posting more NSFW headcanons for this guy, — and more NSFW kinds of posts, — here is the obligatory Minors DNI attachment. For your own safety, I don't care if what I have to say is tame so far, you can hold it off I promise.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

Question: I enjoyed s1 OF OFMD, but for various reasons I never actually got around to watching s2 (pick up most of the plot from tumblr tho). What exactly went wrong in s2 that got so many people upset?

Oh, boy. Very long rant incoming.

So, for context, S2 had a significantly smaller budget, which necessitated moving the filming location to union-unfriendly New Zealand, reducing the number of actors/number of appearances of established actors, and cutting down the number of episodes from 10 to 8. In a show where each episode is only about half an hour long, that last one alone was enough to seriously hamper any character development or plot. I am very comfortable putting the vast majority of the blame on HBO because of these financial decisions.

The short version is that Jenkins et. al. needed to address and build on the problems left hanging in S1 while also getting the characters to the end of their character trajectories in case there was no S3 while also leaving room for additional episodes in case there was a S3, in a grand total of four hours, and failed.

The long version is that there were a bunch of what I'd consider small problems in isolation that came together and exploded in the S2 finale.

The reduced cast necessitated breaking up the crew (ex: having Swede marry Jackie and stay on land with her, so they don't need to pay Nat Faxon for all eight episodes) and not spending as much time on their relationships as S1 did.

The reduced time meant that the entire season was rushed (in contrast to S1, which takes place over at least several weeks if not months, most of S2 takes place in roughly five days), leading both to a lot of telling rather than showing (because they don't have time to show you), including vital character and relationship development.

This includes:

Having the Kraken half of the crew beat Ed to death after months of being abused by him – abuse that is clearly shown to have given them PTSD and a well-justified fear and hatred of him – only for them to be okay with him two in-universe days later;

On that note, having Stede dismiss the crew's concerns about Ed because he loves him and also we only have three more episodes left to fit in everything so we need to get over it really fast, even though Stede is supposed to be well-meaning and caring (even if he's not good at it all the time);

Resolving the issue of Stede abandoning Ed in one day, then having them "go slowly" in their relationship for two days and then have some spur-of-the-moment sex, and then the next afternoon have them break up over their diverging career aspirations, and then the day after that resolve that problem and retire on land while the rest of the crew sails off into the sunset;

Stede becoming a fantastic pirate captain over the course of one day, becoming wildly popular in the piracy world two days later, and then deciding the day after that to never be a captain again because he is retiring with Ed;

Having Ed and Stede decide to retire together as what is implied to be the end point of their relationship arc, when none of Stede's issues from S1, like his poor self-esteem, have been so much as mentioned by anyone, implying that he's either magically gotten over them or they don't matter all that much, actually, even though they were the catalyst for basically everything he did in S1;

Ed having two separate character crises – "I am an unlovable person" and "I want to do something with my life other than piracy" – not spending a lot of time on either one, having moments that clearly indicate he is still working on both problems and they have not been resolved, and then apparently having them both be resolved in the final episode despite nothing occurring to actually make that happen, and in regards to the latter, despite the story actively undermining it by repeatedly showing he can't do anything other than piracy;

Related to the above, Ed ending the series as allegedly being loved by the crew as a family (thus solving Crisis #1) despite this never actually being shown, demonstrated, or even fucking alluded to onscreen. If anything, it shows the exact opposite.

This last point is especially galling to me because of what is probably the most divisive issue in the fandom right now: killing off Izzy Hands after giving him seven episodes of character development.

The show begins with the Kraken crew clearly trying to use the skills they learned as part of Stede's crew to cope with their incredibly shitty situation and care for each other, which includes Izzy. Izzy, on his end, tries to protect the crew and speak up for them, which results in him being repeatedly hurt (both implicitly, as Ed at one point says "that's another toe" in response to Izzy advocating for the crew and we later see he's missing more than one toe already, and explicitly, as Ed shoots him in the fucking leg in front of the crew when he stands up for them).

This camaraderie is shown again and again and again. Frenchie, Jim, and Archie take care of Izzy while his leg is infected, at risk to their own lives. Izzy's misery over losing his leg is what unites the PTSD-ridden Kraken crew and the well-meaning-but-ignorant-of-PTSD marooned crew, who are initially at odds, to make him a new prosthetic leg. Izzy gives Lucius advice about forgiving Ed. Izzy is introduced to drag and opens up enough to sing at a crew party, and the whole crew is having fun together while Ed and Stede are in their cabin having sex for the first time. Izzy gives Stede pirate captain lessons and bonds with him when Ed leaves him. Izzy provokes the season's villain into focusing on him and then gives a big speech about how piracy is about belonging to something, giving the rest of the crew time to try to escape.

Recall that Season 1 had some pretty well-established universe rules, one of which was that it runs on Muppet physics/magical realism. People can jump off yardarms, hit the side on the way down, and be perfectly fine. People can get stabbed in the liver and it's totally okay because it's probably not that important, and even can stay pinned to a mast all night that way with only mild discomfort. Buttons can talk to birds and see long distances without a spyglass and put hexes on people. Good people can be hurt (Stede is stabbed repeatedly), bad people can die (the Badmintons, Geraldo), but no one we care about is ever killed.

This is repeated in Season 2: Ed is beaten into a coma with a cannonball and wakes up like Sleeping Beauty after a spirit journey, with no injuries to his face or body. Buttons turns into a seagull after spending an episode doing a magic ritual and is never seen again (because they couldn't keep paying Ewen Bremner due to the budget cuts). Jackie microdoses her husbands with poison to build up their immunity, so that she can later pull a Dread Pirate Westley and poison the British with shared drinks.

So: in the finale, the villain of the season is taken hostage by the pirates (for reasons? unclear how that fits in the plan), happens to have a gun on him (no one checked??), shoots Izzy on the right side and then leaves with no repercussions. The entire crew stands around silently doing nothing while Ed cries over Izzy and tells him that he's his only family.

And Izzy fucking Hands, the guy who just spent eight episodes bonding with and protecting everyone, uses his last words to reassure Ed that him becoming Blackbeard/the Kraken was Izzy's fault and that the crew is Ed's family and they all love him. No one else says anything to Izzy or tries to comfort him or help him in any way.

I repeat: in a show predicated on the idea that bullies and bigots die stupid deaths while queer people and POC are basically magic, a show that was praised for being kind to queer people by not making them worry about their faves suffering or dying, a show founded on the strength of the relationships between the characters, the guy who went through a season-long arc of learning to embrace his pirate found family and his own queerness is shot for stupid reasons on the side we're told isn't important and dies while everyone just stands there. His last words are about the whole crew loving Ed when the only person that the whole crew has loved all season is him.

Anyway, never mind all that, let's cut to Lucius and Pete getting married and Stede and Ed retiring!

Complicating all this is that people who liked Izzy (or even said anything insufficiently mean about Izzy) were harassed for months in between seasons with insults, slurs, and actual fucking death threats. Izzy's growth was kind of a vindication for liking him: it meant that, despite all the harassment, we were right to like him and care about him as a character. Even people who didn't like him initially started to like him during Season 2.

And then he dies, and now there's a bunch of people saying that Izzy fans are big whiny babies who can't handle fictional death, and actually his death was so meaningful and beautiful and the only logical end to his arc, and it can't be bad writing because people die in real life all the time, and also he admitted he fed Ed's darkness so actually he was a terrible person all along anyway and they were right to hate him (and his fans)!

So, yeah, there are a lot of reasons why it's so hated, and I'm probably only addressing the problems of the pro-Izzy people (from what I can tell, BlackBonnet shippers who don't like Izzy think Ed and Stede's relationship is fine and dandy, but I'm sure that there are other criticisms they have that I have not addressed). I'm not even addressing the issues with Jim and Oluwande's relationship this season (and whooo boy are there issues).

It wasn't a universally bad season. There were episodes I really loved and still do. But the finale was a train wreck, and because it was a train wreck, a lot of people are looking back at what happened before the wreck and realizing that, oh, the train lost its brakes and steering because of the budget cuts and the engineers kept throwing fuel in the engine to make it go faster, and huh, now that I think of it, that part earlier in the trip was really wobbly but I didn't pay much attention to it at the time because I was sure the engineers had everything covered.

[captainfern]

141Rugby!au - Introductory and Definitions

141 x fem!reader, rugbyunion!au [18+] intro

hi! below the cut is an introductory to rugby union if you know absolutely nothing about the sport (and it's completely okay if you don't!)

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Rugby [a somewhat simplified explanation!]

rugby union (i’ll be referring to it as simply rugby) is a very physical, high-contact sport played by many different countries across the world. if you want an idea of how intense the love for rugby can be, search up rugby culture in south africa, ireland, or new zealand - 3 very strong rugby nations!

the main objective is to score tries by getting the ball to the other end of the field and touching it against the grass in the end-goal. to stop the other team from scoring a try, players try to tackle their opposition and attempt to steal the ball back.

also important to note, many rugby players are fine as hell. ok anyway

on a rugby field, each team has fifteen players numbered 1 through to 15. each team also has players on the bench that can be "subbed" on if a player on field becomes tired or gets injured. each player (and their number) has special skills, simplified here:

1 & 3 (prop) - the strongest guys on the field. usually pretty beefy as they are positioned at the front of a scrum (explained later). example player: joe marler, england. 2 (hooker) - a bit less beefy, but still strong, sometimes a bit taller than 1 & 3. this guy throws the ball in lineouts (explained later). example player: malcolm marx, south africa. 4 & 5 (lock) - the tallest guys on the field. they are lifted during lineouts. example player: eben etzebeth, south africa. 6 & 7 (flanker) - are very fit, quite fast and are good at commanding the field (many captain's have been flankers). example player: siya kolisi, south africa. 8 (number eight, eighthman) - typically very strong and can lift and/or be lifted in lineouts, as well as add extra weight to scrums. example player: ardie savea, new zealand. 9 (scrum-half, half-back) - usually the smallest on the field, and are often quite quick. they put the ball into the scrums. example player: antoine dupont, france 10 (fly-half, first five-eighth) - are usually fast, fit and are often the kickers of the team that kick conversions (explained later). example player: handre pollard, south africa. 12 & 13 (centre) - strong passers, have a good kick and create space when they run down the field. example player: reiko ioane, new zealand. 11 & 14 (wing, winger) - the fastest men on the field. they run near the outside lines of the field and can often be difficult to tackle (explained later). example player: james lowe, ireland. 15 (fullback) - catch high-balls, kick far distances, quite fast, fit and can run long distances. example player: damian willemse, south africa.

there are certain "events" that happen in rugby, as mentioned in the previous segment. the basic, fundamental ones are simplified and explained a bit here:

scrum - a method of restarting the game. players pack closely together with their heads down and attempt to gain possession of the ball by pushing each other. the props go at the front because they are the strongest, and the 9 puts the ball in for the players to "fight over" lol. like this:

lineout - is another method of restart when the ball goes out, and involves the ball being thrown in and players lifting up the 4 or 5 so they can catch the ball and give it to their team. each team lifts their lock, and the locks fight for the ball in the air lol. like this:

conversion - done after a player scores a try (a player touches the ball against the grass at the end of the field, worth 5 points). the kicker has to kick the ball between the posts to "convert" the try. it's worth 2 points.

now, here's some quick definitions of words you might see in my upcoming fics. also, if you're ever confused, just ask me! or, you know, search it up on the internet lol.

tackle - when the player with the ball gets "tackled", another player has grabbed them and brought them to the ground. some tackles can be pretty tame, but others can be very intense and cause serious injuries (you are not allowed to tackle near the shoulders, neck, or head. if a player does, they are sent off with either a yellow-card, or red-card). like this:

yellow card, and red card - if a player does something illegal (rugby term for bad or against the rules lol), they can either get a yellow or red card, depending on how bad they are. a yellow card is if you break a basic rule (example, you accidentally hit your shoulder against another player's head in a tackle) and you get sent off for ten minutes and have to sit in the naughty chair :(. a red card is if you do something very very bad (example, you straight up try to scrape someone's eyes out with your sprigs aka the pointy things on the bottom of your boots). you get sent off for the rest of the game, and could get a suspension from playing for weeks.

penalty - if you do something a bit bad, not enough for a card, then the other team get's a penalty (if the other team does something wrong, you get a penalty). the team can choose to either take the ball back and do a scrum/lineout, or kick for goal (a penalty goal is worth 3 points).

forward pass - can't do that!! when you pass the ball, it must always go backwards, just by a little bit!! like this:

ruck - when a player is tackled and goes to ground with the ball, other players join in to try and either steal the ball or take the ball out and give it back to their team. the guy with the ball has to get the ball out otherwise the other team gets a penalty! like this:

maul - exactly how it sounds lol. can be pretty brutal. when the player with the ball is held up, other players grab onto them and basically wrestle each other LMAO. other plays can join in to keep play moving if they want. it can happen a lot after scrums. it can also lead to fights if the players are particularly rough with each other. like this:

try - the method of scoring points. a player takes the ball and puts it over the line at the end of the field (call the end-goal most of the time) and it's worth 5 points. like this:

that's basically all you need to know to understand the references i might make throughout the fics (in between the literal porn of course LMAO). if you're curious about anything else, consult the internet or feel free to ask me :)

and yes, try celebrations are common. you know that tiktok audio "and they're both boys *smooching sounds*". that's literally mens rugby like half of the time

ok first fic out soon hopefully x

i’m aiming to write 5 parts but we’ll see how far i get lol

[rhysdarbinizedarby]

‘Our Flag Means Death’ Star Rhys Darby on Stede’s Transformations & Hopes for Season 3

[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Our Flag Means Death Season 2 Episode 8 “Mermen.”]

Our Flag Means Death saw Gentleman pirate Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby) transform from a fish-out-of-water swashbuckler into the romantic hero he was always destined to be in the latest season of Max‘s original comedy.

After realizing the error of his ways at the end of Season 1, Stede sought redemption in the eyes of the infamous Blackbeard, a.k.a. Ed (Taika Waititi), after recognizing he was in love with the pirate. While the path wasn’t a direct one, they eventually found their way back to one another with the help of a fantastical mermaid sequence, some much-needed apologies, and ultimately a better string of communication.

Reflecting on his journey, star Rhys Darby is opening up about Stede’s various transformations in Season 2, including the excitement surrounding that mermaid tail, as well as about where he thinks the pirate lovebirds might end up next should the series return for Season 3.

Congrats on Season 2! Now that we can finally talk about it, what has it been like getting to see fan reactions, especially during the SAG-AFTRA strike?

Rhys Darby: Yeah, it was like a pressure cooker that needed to burst, for us and for the fans. When it finally came out, the burst happened and there was so much love for us, [but we] couldn’t talk about it. We were still stuck in this bottle and the cork wouldn’t come off, and that was difficult, but it was really lovely to see all the love and the surprise from everyone. Obviously, as you know, the fan artwork, it’s what we would say in New Zealand is pretty full on. So yeah, it was super cool.

And not that anyone gives out numbers, but I think I heard on the ethos that people [are] watching it, and it’s rating really high and at a time when we need this kind of beautiful love fest of comedy with a whole bunch of silliness to take us away from the disasters that are happening in the world. It’s been lovely. I just wish it was longer. I know people watch and rewatch and they’re so fanatical, but it’s just a comedy show, so to have any effect means so much to us.

In Season 2, Stede’s gone through a few transformations, one of which is that he’s a real pirate now, at least comparatively to Season 1. What helped you get into that new version of him? Was it the writing, costumes, or a combination of the two?

Yeah, the costumes are the first thing that comes to mind because once he starts wearing different gear, he looks at himself and goes, “Oh my God, I’m a different man.” And he really is turning from a man who is wearing these beautiful gowns with high heels and things inappropriate for a pirate ship to becoming an Errol Flynn-type hero straight away. That’s what they wanted to do with the character. So he’s lost a lot of that beautiful pageantry and is becoming a more practical guy who has to survive. He returns to this nightmare of a world because he wants to fight for love, and for want of a better term, “man up,” whatever the modern-day version of that is, “person up?” To become the guy that he dreamt of being in the first season.

He didn’t dream that he was going to fall in love with someone. He dreamt he was going to be this amazing pirate and that just was not going to happen. But then when he found this love, I think he went away from that [dream] going, “I don’t deserve this.” And then when he realized upon returning home that he does deserve it, he had to fight for it. And so the only way to fight for it was to drop the battle armor of the gowns and actually become the pirate he imagined being. So it was great to become that and to fight for that love and to thank god that [Blackbeard] didn’t die. He would’ve actually lost it, I think, because it would’ve been like, “Well, what am I fighting for now?”

I think it was just so fun to see that character change, but also within that change, see a bit of the old self come through, especially when he found that cursed red suit. And all of a sudden it was like, “Oh my God, the old me again, look how good I look!” So it was lovely that they had those elements… I was missing a little bit of the old Stede myself. So it was great to find that again. And then again near the end with the British invasion scenario where I got to do the big coat and everything, which of course looked awesome. You can see that moment where I put it on and did that slow turnaround. It was way more filmic shots of me wearing that kind of stuff. And I think that gave Stede's strength as well. So much of Stede's embodiment comes from the things he’s wearing.

Speaking of costumes, the big one of the season had to be Stede’s mermaid look. How did you wrap your head around getting ready for such a fantastical, and ultimately, beautiful scene?

That was the highlight of the whole season for me. As a kid, I used to swim around like a little merkid. I would put my legs together and I’d swim under the water. I’ve always been into mermaids and things because I’m into cryptozoology. So when I got to be a mermaid or a merman, I really took to it. It was pretty easy, to be honest with you. I didn’t have any training to swim like that. So the only training I did was some breath work beforehand to help me hold my breath longer. But that was kind of almost superfluous. Once I got that [tail] on, I just became a mermaid. It’s hard for me to describe how I suddenly become these things, but I think I just got under the water. I could swim really easily with it.

And I had weights on. So one of the things was we had to make sure I was the right weight so that I wouldn’t just float. That thing was sort of buoyant. So once we sorted that out, I could actually swim really well, and then just sort of hover underneath the water for a long time while [Taika]’s looking at me, I’m looking at him. To see it on the day, on the screen when I knew they’d got [the shot], there were just so many cheers, and I think they even played the music to see how the scene would work out. It’s one of those life moments where you go, “Oh my God, I’m becoming a cryptid again. I’m never going to forget this.”

This season really does focus even more on Stede and Blackbeard’s romance. How did you and Taika prepare for that? Especially since Stede’s more transparent about his feelings this time around.

It was good, and it was time. And because I was the new strong Stede, it felt really natural for me. I think it just worked really well with the writing because of the aggression that I was going through. When I was fighting that really bad guy [Ned Low (Bronson Pinchot) and] threw a violin at him because he ruined Calypso’s birthday, that was a good moment because it is not just about Ed, it’s about the crew, Stede’s family, and they were going through this amazing moment there, and all of a sudden this guy turns up and next thing we’re getting tortured. And I’m like, “How dare you?”

I think that progression of strength helped [Stede] break into the moment of, “I’m just going to take my lover as well now, and do something with him.” He probably had no idea what he was doing because it’s Stede, but it worked out and it was the right time in the show. Taika and I are really good mates, so it’s really easy to do emotional scenes together. As soon as we put our gear on, we’re just looking at that character, and we admire each other.

You and Taika have been known to improv on the show. Was there any improv moment from Season 2 you were particularly proud to see onscreen?

Yeah. Well, one, I noticed that some people are talking about that they thought was scripted, which wasn’t — most of the [scenes where] I’m with Taika are improvised in those emotional close moments — is on the deck of the boat where we’d do the thumb thing. That was all improvised on the day. So that was fun that we got that kind of stuff in. And there were some more little bits and pieces, but that’s one that comes to mind. That worked really well.

By the end of Season 2, Stede and Blackbeard have settled in to open their own inn. Do you think the peace and quiet will last in a possible third season, or will they get bored and want to rejoin the excitement?

Well, obviously as it stands now, it’s very lovely and it’s a nice positive ending, which is lovely for Season 2. But in reality, if you think about the characters, even in the fictional world, they’re both outlaws, they’re pirates, and the British back then… they never gave up. They did track down all the pirates and either hang them or get rid of them. There was only a couple that got away, and it certainly wasn’t those two. So I think what they’re thinking is, yes, this is bliss, but both those characters must be thinking, this is not going to last because you’ve got to sleep with one eye open.

Even though they’re in the middle of nowhere, they’re still in an area where everyone knows what they are, so they’re going to be tracked down. So I think if it was me, [they’d] end up back in action one way or another, especially if their inn is popular, which it probably would be. Word would get around. I mean, in those days, had you heard the Blackbeard and Stede had opened up an inn, [you’d have] to check that one out. It’ll be like Planet Hollywood.

There would be a wait-list, for sure.

Yeah, absolutely. Basically, they’re too famous now that Stede’s killed Ned and everything. He’s a famous pirate. So death is going to come to their door at some point. They’ll have to deal with it.

Do you think this version of Stede and Blackbeard’s story could avoid the fate of the real-life pirates?

Yeah, no, I think you’re dreaming if you think they’re going to live happily ever after.

Our Flag Means Death, Seasons 1-2, Streaming now, Max

Source: TV Insider

[harrysfolklore]

since sarah n mitch are taking a break from the band, could you write a blurb abt babysitter!y/n?? like did she stay home or is she still on tour w harry??

nanny on tour

i really really really hope you like this ! let me know your thoughts

BABYSITTER!YN MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

Life couldn’t get any better for YN and Harry at the moment.

Even though they just celebrated their first anniversary together a few months ago, it felt like their relationship had been going strong for years, deciding to move in together after Harry’s Los Angeles residencies were done with the promise of a bright future.

However, not everything had been easy for them and they had to face a big challenge for their relationship in the middle of Harry's NYC residencies, when they had a pregnancy scare.

"Okay, let's not panic," Harry said when YN told him about her period being late after many days of feeling sick, taking her hand in his. "We'll figure this out together."

And they did.

After being by her side when she took the pregnancy tests that came out negative, he promised her that it would´t change their relationship, it would only make it stronger.

And now they were on their shared Los Angeles home where they were staying for a few days before embarking on the next leg of Love On Tour; Australia, New Zealand and Asia.

Harry was excited to say the least, not only because he was finally going back to playing for those crowds, but also because YN was finally going to be able to actually attend the shows, since Sarah and Mitch decided to step back from the tour life for a moment and focus on their baby son.

"I can't believe you're finally going on the road as my girlfriend and not Mitch and Sarah's nanny." Harry said as he watched her throw stuff on her suitcase from the bed, they were catching their flight to Australia early in the morning.

"I'm excited," YN told him, a small smile showing, "I'll finally have the full Love On Tour experience, huh?"

"And then some." he replied with a smirk on his face, and YN's packing up was long forgotten as he pulled her to the bed with him.

The next morning, they woke up early and headed to the airport to catch their flight to the first stop on the tour, Perth. As they arrived at their hotel, Harry watched as YN's eyes widened in amazement at the sights and sounds of the bustling city. They spent the day exploring together, trying new foods and taking in the local culture.

As Harry prepared for his first show, YN watched in awe as he rehearsed with his bandmates. It was a part of the show she rarely got to see since she was on the road working, and as she watched him command the stage and do what he enjoyed the most, she felt herself falling even more in love with him.

When the time to get dressed for the show finally came, Harry's nerves about YN being in the crowd and watching the show for the first time kicked in.

"You're going to be amazing out there," YN said, taking his hand in hers.

"I hope so, I don't want to disappoint you." Harry replied, his nerves still getting the better of him.

"Come on, how on earth could you disappoint me, lovie? You're Harry Styles, that's like, impossible" YN tenderly said, rolling her eyes with affection.

Harry couldn't help but laugh at her words. Even though he was one of the biggest stars in the world, YN had a way of making him feel like a regular guy, and that was one of the things that made him fall for her.

"I'm just a guy with a guitar," Harry said, pointing to his instrument.

"And an incredible voice, and cool outfits, and a nice arse too" YN added, standing up and walking over to him, making him laugh and pull her closer.

"I'm going to miss you while you're on stage," YN spoke again, her voice soft and sweet, making Harry melt, "But this time, I'll be right here when you get off stage and not all the way back in the hotel."

Harry instantly smiled at her words, excitement taking over her body, "I'm going to miss you too," he pulled her close and gave her a kiss, "I'll be thinking of you the whole time," Harry said, his forehead pressed against hers.

"Go make me proud, rockstar." and with a final kiss to her lips, Harry was ready to take stage

That night, YN stood in the crowd as Harry performed for thousands of fans. She felt a sense of pride and admiration wash over her as she watched him sing his heart out on stage for the first time as his girlfriend. When the show was done, Harry rushed backstage where YN was waiting for him, held her tightly in his arms.

"I'm so happy you're here with me, Nanny." he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm happy to be here," YN replied, smiling up at him. "I can't wait to see what other adventures we'll have together on this tour."

As they headed to the next city, Harry felt a sense of excitement and contentment wash over him. He knew that having YN by his side on this journey would make everything even more special, and he was grateful for every moment they had together.

taglist: @cucciolafaerie @eleanordaisy @sunflowersndpeaches @golden-hoax @alienorknight @daydreamingofmatilda @ivyproblems @ayeshathestyles @stylesmygucci @gimsaysay @rosaliedepp @dontworrysunflower @milfrrynation @manifestrry @iceebabies @harrystylesrecs @pleasingrryyy @harianaswhore @noitsmebecky @abeanontoast t @grapejuice-rry @vrittivsanghavi i @msolbesg @tati813 @sad1esgf @itsgabbysblog g @theekyliepage @watermelonsugacry @be-with-me-so-happily @a-strange-familiar @reveriehs @musicforcinemas @harrybabyyyyyyy @tinydeskwriter @noooovaaaaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @mxltifxnd0m @rach2602 @balletdancerry @b-reads-things @juiceboxrry @lomlolivia @itsgigikay @goldensstateofgrace @missmielyhoran @fdl305 @lightsoutstyles

[theworldofotps]

Daddy's Biggest Fan (Drabble)

Pairing: Hook x Reader Word Count: 574 Description: Y/n takes their child to see Hook wrestle for the first time

Requested by: @sunrise28sblog I loved writing this and really hoped you enjoy it. ________ Tag list: @omg-im-such-a-masochist​ @melissahausen​ @new-zealand-chic @writtingrose​ @99hook @madhatterbri @sjwrites22​ @sassymox @mrsacklesevansmgk​ @xladyxfatex​ @adamcolesbaybay @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​ @demonqueen29​ @itsicantbelievethis666​ @lilred91​ @rebellious-desires​ @claymorexpunisher @letsgivethisonemoreshot @ava-valerie @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497​ @thatpanpal​ @thatnerdwriter @wrestlersownmyheart​ @vebner37 @auburnwrites​ @aews-four-pillars @seeingstarks​ @whenimakeitshine1234 @legit9thlunaticwarrior​ @blaquekitty​ @ironshamelessyouth​ @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin​ @ripleyswhore @moonrosekk @xbreezymeadowsx @alyyaana  @elevennbloom @melblacc @alliwant456  @mcreignsera  If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. Hook Taglist: @wickedval __________

Y/n smiled as she walked slowly down the hallway her hand gently holding that of her three year old son, they made their way through the backstage area. “Daddy?” The small boy called out craning his neck to try and see which wasn’t easy given he was so small. Y/n scoops him up so he could see better as they made their way in the direction of Tyler’s locker room. “Don’t worry my love we’ll find him we just have a few more turns and we’ll be there.” Pressing a kiss to his cheek they walked a little longer and y/n stops gently setting her son on the ground.

“Look who it is bubs.” She pointed up the hallway smiling when her son’s eyes landed on the man, he loved more than anyone apart from her.

“Daddy!” His squeal caused heads to turn light chuckles hitting her ears as Tyler quickly turned around and gasped bending down. Y/n let their son’s hand go watching as he quickly toddled down the hallway towards his dad.

“Hey buddy you excited to see daddy wrestle for the first time?”| Tyler asked holding his son close smiling into a face so similar to his own chuckling as the small boy cheered nodding his head and hugging him. Y/n walked over joining them and smiled when Tyler wrapped an arm around her waist kissing her softly. “Hello gorgeous I thought you two were supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago?” “Sorry babe we ran into your dad, and you know he can’t resist spending a few minutes with his grandson.” Y/n smiled listening as their son excitedly chattered away to Tyler about well she couldn’t really understand what but they both seemed to be having fun. Making your way into the locker room you sat down on the couch. “And you’ve already seen daddy’s title but I’m defending it tonight.”

Pulling your phone out you snap a couple pictures of them and a small video, the video would be something for yourselves. Despite sharing some things Tyler was still a private person when it came to his life and your child.

“Are you guys going to be ringside or stay in the gorilla?”

“I figured the gorilla since he’s still so little and I don’t want the crowd to be overwhelming for him. But uncle Dan said that he had a nice quiet spot all set up for us.”

Tyler smiled nodding his head as he sat down beside his fiancée and their son crawled over onto her lap, he’d been dreaming of this day for the last three years and it was finally here. He couldn’t want to see what his son thought of seeing daddy wrestle in real time. When a knock sounded on the door the trio made their way from the room making their way to the gorilla. “Okay I have to go out now, but I’ll be back when I’m finished.” He kissed the small boy’s head then stood up and kissed y/n with a soft smile as he moved the hair out of his eyes.

“You’re going to do great we’ll be here when you’re finished.”

“Thank you I’ll see you in a few I love you both.”

“We love you too.”

“Love you daddy.” Tyler’s smile widened more as he ruffled his son’s hair, and his music began sending them both a wink he walked out feeling on top of the world.

[avaf00rdxx]

With my best friend

Caitlin Foord x Reader

Warnings : slight mention of anxiety, break up

Summary : in which lifelong Best friends slowly come to senses about their close connection to their number one person.

————————————————————————

2011

“hi I’m y/n” you said to a shorter girl who looked just as nervous as you.

“Yeah I know. They said your name before”

“Oh yeah of course” you said pulling your hand away as you had it out to shake. Pretty formal for 17 year olds. She then grabbed your hand from my side back up again and shook it “Caitlin”

You smiled as you both focused you attention onto the information evening of the Matilda’s new squad members.

——————

2011

“Caitlin you did it I flipping knew it!” You squealed to your roommate. She was starting for Australia, for the first time of her career and you couldn’t have been prouder.

“And I get to start with you!” She squealed as you both jumped around your hotel room.

You two were both in New Zealand when you were called about you both starting together. You made your debut last week, coming on in the last 5 minutes. But Caitlin would make her debut starting.

The game the next day: you managed to receive a pass from Clare as you ran up the field. You felt no one too close on you but you spotted Caitlin completely open just close enough to the goal, possibly not even close enough to you. You still passed to her just near the goal, a pretty impressive pass, as she sent a header straight into the back of the net. Slipping just past the keepers hands. She yelled in excitement as you jumped straight into your best friends arms.

“You did it cait!” You screamed holding her face in your hands before the rest of your Australian teammates jumped onto the two of you, causing you to collapse.

——————

2020 (quite the time jump ngl)

“Hey you” you felt arms wrap around your sweaty neck. It was your girlfriend Ona. You had just beaten her Spanish team 2-1 in your match tonight. You celebrated with your respected team after your win while ona had a chat with hers. After signing shirts and posters and doing your laps around the stadium. You were standing around with Macca, Caitlin and Alanna before your girlfriend greeted all of you.

You turned around to give her a big hug, wrapping your arms tightly around her neck. “Proud of you” she whispered as she kissed your cheek.

“Even more proud of you”

She smiled at you before you both turned back around to your three best friends “hey guys” ona said before hugging all of them.

Caitlin’s POV

Ona seemed brilliant for y/n. I don’t see her smile that much than when she’s with her. But there’s just something about her, something sour that turns me off about when she’s with y/n.

I hugged her lightly, smiling. Knowing how much this meant for y/n. Seeing us get along with her. I’ve seen Ona put stress on y/n, it’s from the long distance. Some nights in our hotel room she has been teary about how difficult it gets. I think it’s that that is bugging me.

——————

2021

“So fucking stupid” y/n sobbed into Alannas arms as we were in her hotel room. At another camp.

The long distance no longer worked for ona and my best friend. “Like it’s like all that trying and effort for the long distance wasn’t even worth it!” She exclaimed into Alan as shoulder.

“Oh Sweet Girl it was I promise it was” alanna soothed to her.

I did feel terrible. The couple had been together since when they met at Barca in 2018. And everyone loved them together. My heart ached at y/ns state. Soaking Alannas top, while Mac ran her hands through her hair. I said some words to her as I sat close to her.

After about 4 hours of room service, and 2 marvel movies. Y/n and me saw the other two girls out. As I shut the door, y/n pulled me close into a bone crushing hug. I wrapped my arms around her torso.

“Thank you for that. Love you” she said before pulling away and hopping into the shower.

—————

July 2021

Y/n’s pov

I gripped tightly onto Caitlin’s hand as the plane went through multiple stages of turbulence over the last hour. For the past 10 years, you had always held her hands during bumpy travel together. It just soothed your plane anxiety.

———

The final whistle blew as you fell to your knees. Hands covering your face. It was the semi finals, you had made it. And you went down 1-0 to Sweden. Tears slowly tried to fall out of your eyes. As you quickly brushed them away. Once finding yourself again moments later and standing up. You hugged some of the Swedish girls and then embraced Sam in a tight hug. Both showing how proud of each other you were. When in Sam’s arms, you looked over her shoulder to find your best friend standing by herself looking up to the sky in disbelief. You let yourself out of Sam’s arms before smiling at her then jogging over to Caitlin. She didn’t notice you at first as you pulled her towards you to giver her a huge hugger. Her head hung low on your shoulder, “I’m proud of you. And for that goal” you whispered.

“Thanks” she said holding you tighter. It was slightly disappointing. You were so close to reaching that gold medal, but just slipped before the last step.

————

The very short plane back to London was soothing. A smooth trip with sleepy girls. So it was very relaxing. Caitlin very quickly fell asleep in her seat next to you. She slept with her mouth hung open which made you giggle. You quickly snapped a photo before posting it to your close friends instagram story. You found yourself in your camera roll looking at the photo just taken. Then the suggestions of Caitlin box came up under the photo. You clicked on it as the photos app took you to all of the photos of you and Caitlin. From as long as you remembered. You smiled remembering the memories. She really has been the glue to your whole life.

—————

A/N

Ok so there is no romance between Caitlin and reader in this. But there be part 2 super soon so hold your nickers.

Luv yall💗💗