#It's hard editing long posts on the phone and I'm not good at long posts so sorry abt that lol

[marciliedonato]

Like yeah no don't get me wrong, this is awful any way you look at it - but you have a bunch of rich dudes, including the CEO who thinks safety and regard for human life are obstacles to innovation that can absolutely be overlooked and willingly decided to forego all of that to make bank off of other extremely rich stupid people, locked inside a literal iron coffin bolted shut from the outside that's the size of a MINI VAN controlled by a fucking Xbox controller known for terrible connection issues, with basically no food, a literal bucket for a toilet and they willingly signed a lease of responsibility mentioning death thrice in the 1st page and that it was an *experimental, non certified* vessel they were boarding and you expect people to feel bad for them? Especially when hundreds of migrants just died in the Greek waters while the coastal guard basically watched and only decided to start spending any resources AFTER the boat sank when they were awfully close to it at the time it started going down?? And when the silly little billionaires disappeared a couple days later they literally pulled all stops and invested millions and heavy international resources into finding them and had the entire world on hold? Yeah no this is literally dumb ways to die their stupidity and grandiose did them in and as unfortunate as this is, we're talking abt people who are so out of touch with notion and reason that they think their money can save them from everything and they're above it all, including instinct and self preservation/love for their lives bc money fixes all so none of that matters even as a second thought and who only have such amounts of money bc of exploitation and reinforcing systems that oppress people that contribute to the money meant for millions being hoarded by a couple hundred.... So yeah no you can accept this is awful even if they went instantly but they knew what they were doing and the stupidity of it all is what led to their downfall... You fuck around, then you find out it is what it is they literally had a deathwish there's just no other way to put it...and that's my 💸💸

[queers-gambit]

Opening Night and Open Hearts

prompt: opening night - a mother's fear, a locked walk-in freezer, confessions through a thick metal door, questioning what's deserved, and a proposal at The Bear after hours.

pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader

fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear

word count: 9.8k+

note: i think i give enough background for you guys to feel as if you don't need to read any other relating works, but i linked the fics that could be read as a small series (maybe?) also let author be lonely in peace

warnings: reader nicknamed Peach, established relationship, cursing, spoilers, fluff, angst, relationship angst, hurt and comfort, Carmy still (desperately) needs a nap, depiction of physical illness, boys are dumb and emotions are hard, reader-insert, depiction of toxic family, OC Carmy that grovels a lot, not edited!

⚠️ season two, episode ten spoilers

not necessary to read, but other relating works with Peach:

Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant

God's Plan part two: Two to Tango

Neon Sticky Notes

"Hi, yes, I can hear you - sorry about that, I was just making note of your reservation," you spoke smoothly into the phone, trying not to ogle your boyfriend wrapped in only a clean blue towel. "So, that's a party of four for Monsieur Claude Badeaux - all right, that's so lovely. I'm obligated to remind everyone that tonight's opening is a fine dining experience and the proper, corresponding dress code is being asked for. Are there any allergies I should make note of for your party?"

"Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy," you were told.

"All right, that's noted and highlighted: Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy. If there's anything else I could help you with?"

"Non," he chuckled. "I was surprised to see your invitation to this evening, though, mon cher. It's been so long, yes?"

"Well, it was my pleasure to extend the offer, we're ecstatic by your reservation," you chuckled. "We'll see you tonight, Monsieur, and should you need anything before then, you may call this number again."

You said your parting words in French, smiling at Carmy when you hung up and dropped your work phone. "Did I hear that correct?" Your lover asked with a broad grin, "Was that...?"

"Senior marketing advisor at The Washington Post?" You filled in for him. "Uh, yeah, I think it was, but you know me - I could be wrong."

"You invited someone from The Washington Post to the opening tonight?"

"Is that okay?" You asked, standing from the bed after making note in your datebook. "You look kinda - I don't know, shocked?"

"I-I am," he blinked at you, watching you gather his pristine clothing to hang on the closet door. "But in a good way - I can't believe you did this," he chuckled, wiping his mouth. "I mean - holy shit, Peaches."

You offered a toothy grin, "Figured I could pull a few of my own strings to help get the word out about your love-child."

This made Carmy snicker, "Hey, now. Tonight's important, don't make fun."

"I know," you nodded, leading him back into the bathroom to view your hair products. "Which is why I invited some important people and some not-so important people. I know this is serious, Carmy," you smiled at him, hoping to convey your support, "and I wanted to help in whatever way I could."

"You being there tonight is more than I could ask for," he chuckled, helping you onto the small bathroom counter. You squirted a bit of hair product in your hand, watching him flinch back a little, "Uh, I just don't want my hair greasy, Peach, you know? Not a good look and I'll sweat it out in the kitchen."

"I feel like I should be offended by you having no trust in me," you teased, insisting, "I know whatcha need, baby, lemme help."

Carmy smiled softly and held still, letting you run your hands through his curls to push everything back and away from his forehead in a stylish but manageable "do". There was a silent, serene moment as you and Carmy just existed together in a mundane space, his big, sad eyes watching your face as you worked. He wondered, "Think tonight's gonna be okay?"

"I think tonight's gonna be more than okay," you assured softly. "I think tonight's gonna go better than you're anticipating."

He sighed and planted his hands on either side of you, suddenly dropping his gaze. "I, uh... Sugar invited Mom t'tonight..."

"Yeah, I know."

"You know?"

"Sugar and I are still friends outside of us dating, Carmy," you smiled patiently, slowing your hands so you more toyed with his curls; pushing some strands behind his ears. "She needs someone as much as you do and I don't mind."

"But isn't that what Pete's for?"

"Yes, but you know, Pete's Pete."

Carmy snorted, "Yeah, yeah, good point."

"I don't know if she'll show up tonight, Bear, but whether she does or doesn't, it won't matter - you're not doing this for her. This is for you, Carmy, tonight's about The Bear opening - it's about you and this incredible, amazing thing you've done. Okay?" You caressed both his cheeks in your hands so he could only look at you directly. "If she shows, that's great," you whispered with a soft smile as your thumbs swept the apples of his cheeks, "and if she doesn't, it won't make tonight any less special. That, I can promise."

Carmy's forehead met yours, both pausing to breathe together; peace always a fleeting feeling as of late and being something you both capitalized on. You brought him in closer for an embrace, his face burying in your neck as your arms snaked around his to keep him as close as possible. His arms were tight around your waist, legs spread to accommodate him; both needing the feel of being close before that night's inevitable stressful event.

"Wow, well, don't you look all pretty! Wow, Peach," Pete greeted you when you scurried to the table with your friend in tow. "Oh, hi there!"

"Pete, this is my best friend, Danielle, and Dani, this is Pete, Sugar's husband."

"Hi, it's really nice to meet you," your friend greeted, the two instantly chattering as they both just blew past their introductions to instantly compliment one another's clothes. You smirked, knowing they'd get along famously, and looked around the brand new, packed restaurant.

"Hey, there she is, my pretty girl," Richie greeted smoothly, approaching your standing form to slide his hand around your shoulders.

"Hi, Cousin," you beamed, offering him a hug in greeting. "The place looks fantastic - it's so - I mean - just wow, Richie," you complimented. "You guys did such an amazing job. I need to tell Fak, too, this is - you guys should be so proud, it looks incredible. Hardly can believe what it was before this."

"It really is something, huh?" He grinned. "Hey, Pete," he nodded.

"Hey, Richie."

"And you must be the famous, the fabulous Miss Danielle?"

"That's me," your friend grinned. "You're Richie, right? Carmy's cousin who's not really a cousin but is as good as blood?"

"Yes, ma'am, the very same," he nodded with pride. "We've some drinks coming your way in just a moment, but I need to borrow Peach for just one second."

"Why do they call her Peach?" Dani asked, but Richie was leading you away as Pete was heard answering,

"Oh, because she mastered this peach cobbler with Carmy's mom, Donna, and she started the nickname..."

"What's wrong?" You asked softly with a smile as to not give the illusion to others that you were worried. "What can I do to help?"

"No, no, nothing too bad, you were just requested by the Frenchie-French guy."

"Oh, right, that's right, yeah, I can help with that," you sighed gently, smiling as you approached the table. Greeting the two men and women was easy, Richie impressed by your connections in the professional world. Tonight, The Washington Post didn't just dine with them - no, it was also the director of social media for three luxury, designer brands: Jean-Paul.

Yes, the man was so elusive that he just went by Jean-Paul. Fuck a last name!

Either way, it impressed Richie to hear the introductions. The two women were executives in their own companies, names Richie didn't catch because he was busy taking note of the way Mr. Frenchie-French was basically eye fucking you in front of them all.

"Well," Richie smiled stiffly, "tonight's incredibly special for us. In fact, uh, Y/N's boyfriend is the owner and head chef."

"Really?" Frenchie-French perked his brows, shifting his gaze over to you. "You always had a soft spots for chefs, non? For those who were versed in the culinary arts?"

"Well, mostly I appreciated a man in the kitchen simply because I burn water and would probably unintentionally starve myself," you teased easily, deflecting the man's subtle dig. "I'm actually here with family tonight, so, please, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy tonight - I know I'm biased when I say the food is exceptional, but I look forward to your own opinions."

"We will talk later, mon cher, I am sure there will be plenty to discuss," the Frenchman promised, kissing the back of your hand as you let Richie lead you away by your free hand.

You released a long sigh, muttering, "Bring them a bottle of real champagne, please, Richie, I had a few bottles imported just for them. Listen closely," you lowered your voice as you both paused on the side of the dining room, "bring them a bowl of thin sliced strawberries sprinkled in sugar and pop the cork at their table - it's impressive for whatever reason."

Richie pecked your temple and gave you a tight squeeze, "I got it all covered, girly. You all right? Look like you're gonna be sick?"

"Just men being men grosses me out, I guess," you sighed with a small shrug. "He's always had a thing for me, I figured I'd use that to get him here tonight - Carmy's work speaks for itself, but maybe he'd be inclined to publish an article or two for us if I play nice."

Richie paused you a few feet from your table, complimenting, "I hope Carmy knows he doesn't deserve you, Peach."

"You said years ago neither of us did," you smirked gently. "Said I wasn't relationship material, right? Remember?"

"I was wrong," he nodded. "I even said y'all would never be serious, but..." He scoffed to himself, "I've never seen that boy so crazy about anyone in his life. You've really changed him, Peach. I don't really know how to thank you."

"You can start by buttering up those flirty Frenchmen," you teased, giving his cheek a peck.

"On it," he winked, parting from your side.

Inside the kitchen some twenty minutes later, Richie approached Carmy, directing his attention, "Cousin?"

"Yo."

"Peach is on 17 with Pete."

"Okay."

"Go say hi."

"Yeah, eventually," Carmy nodded absently, never halting his work.

"Eventually?" Richie repeated with distain, something in his stomach twisting.

"Where the fuck is Josh!?" Carmy called into the kitchen, another chef echoing his concerns.

"Yo!" Richie barked as calmly as he could, "Just go say hi to your girl, Cousin."

"Yo, I'll go when I have a minute," Carmy deflected strongly. "I'm in the fuckin' shit, leave me the fuck alone."

"What? I'm saying - "

"I'll get there when I can get there!"

"I'm saying!"

"What?" Carmy barked.

"She's got important fucking people in that dining room, man," Richie scoffed, hands held up in defense. "Just for your ungrateful ass! Maybe the least you can do is go say fuckin' hi - even if you're fuckin' busy. She knows that, it'd be a nice gesture - or whatever fuckin' shit - I don't know! She's your girl!"

"Yeah! Exactly!" Carmy barked. "She's my fuckin' girl, she knows the fuckin' drill, I'll go say fuckin' hi when I get the fuckin' chance, Richie! Fuck's sake! Always tryna meddle and shit!"

"Jesus, fuck," Richie sighed, turning out of the kitchen with his hands waving Carmy off in defeat.

You were none the wiser, entertained by Pete and Dani's gabbing as Sugar was in-and-out, dealing with all the little things going wrong. These little things came to her in the form of notes left at the table subtly for her to go solve, you wanting to help but being shot down every time. Eventually, Carmy was approaching your table with a tray of food, shocking you slightly.

"Hey, Peach," He greeted softly, lowering the tray to balance on the table and lean over to kiss your cheek. "You look gorgeous, baby, wow," he complimented in a whisper, offering another quick kiss.

"Thank you, Chef," you smiled brightly, touching his forearm in a sign of affection. "What's all this you've got for us?"

He hummed and explained what he set on the table in front of you guys; eyes alight and cheeks flushed from the heat of the kitchen. He poured whatever sauce came with the main dish, smiling at Dani, nodding to Pete, then looking to you.

"I'll check on you later, all right, baby?" He mumbled, watching you nod. "I gotta get back," he whispered, "but thank you for being here, my pretty girl."

"No where else I'd rather be, Cream," you rushed, letting his lips find yours briefly.

"Stick around after, would you? When we close, just... Don't leave yet."

"Yes, Chef," you whispered against his lips with a grin. He gave one single more kiss before pulling away to stand upright.

"Enjoy," he bid the table before walking away.

"So, like," Dani trailed after making sure Carmy was out of earshot, "when's the wedding? 'Cause that might've been the cutest thing I've seen. I mean, opening night, he's cooking, but paused to come serve us? Serve you? And he's so soft with you, kissin' you, bein' all cute," she pouted dramatically. "I want a reason to wear a maid of honor dress, please."

"Hey, hey, chill on us. There's no wedding," you sighed with a small laugh, trying to play off how the subject made your stomach twist. "We haven't really talked about it, you know? No biggie."

"What?" She sputtered. "Wait, hang on. Y'all have been together - like - a stupid, ridiculous amount of time. The fuck you mean you haven't talked about it? What are y'all doing, just ignoring the elephant in the room?"

You shrugged lightly, "I don't know, we know if we ever got married, it'd be to each other, but that's really it. We know we want to be together, we know we want to marry each other, but there's been no serious conversation about it."

"Uh, does that sound right to you?" Dani asked Pete.

He shook his head as you all took dainty bites of food to savor the flavors (and save Sugar some). "When I knew with Natalie, I didn't hesitate."

"Well, Carmy isn't like you, Pete," you defended. "He's got a lot on his plate, too, you know?"

"You've said that since Mikey," Dani frowned, her voice quiet.

"With good reason, don't you think? Carmy's just - he's just going through a lot right now and it's a challenge, you know?"

"No, it's more like Carmy's got the emotional intelligence of a fucking teaspoon!"

"Hey," you snapped, "that's not his fault, he doesn't know much better, so watch your mouth."

"He does with you, like... He knows better when he's with you, when it comes to you, Peach," Pete offered softly. "Look, maybe Danielle has a point - it is a little weird. I mean, you guys have been together, what? Six, almost seven years? Creeping up on a decade of just dating - that's a long time. And didn't you guys do that weird little half-dating thing for two years before making it official? Don't you think that's enough time to know if you want to marry someone, and then, you know? Actually marry them? Or at least ask them?"

"Sure, maybe to other people, but Carmy and I have never been conventional, so, I don't see why we need to start now."

Danielle scoffed, "Look, God love Carmy and everything, but you're just wasting time now. He needs to either commit or let you find someone who can actually love you like you deserve."

"Oh, and Carmy doesn't?"

"Wasn't all that long ago that you two took a break 'cause he called you clingy - and some other unsavory terms," Danielle shrugged. "Doesn't really sound like someone who loves you unconditionally - the way you should be loved."

You sighed and sat back in your chair, "I appreciate the insight, but Carm and I are fine. Okay? We've got years under our belts, we don't want to fuck up what obviously works for us so chill out on the questions, okay? I don't have answers to them."

Danielle and Pete shared a look before the man got up to excuse himself to the restroom. You and Dani finished your meals before sipping your wine, waiting for Pete, but Dani sighed, "This lady's been staring in here for, like, ten minutes already. It's freezing, doesn't she want to come in?"

"Hmm? What're you - ?"

"This lady on the street," your friend pointed over her shoulder towards the window her back was now turned to.

When you peaked out, you gasped lightly when you saw Donna Berzatto smoking a cigarette. "Oh, shit!" You stood from your seat, rushing, "Okay, so, uh, yeah - just - can you just sit here for a second? I have to go handle that."

"Who is it?" Dani wondered earnestly.

"I got it, Peach," Pete told you, passing by the table swiftly with a hand patting your shoulder to keep you at your table.

"What the hell's happening?" Dani asked. "Who is that?"

"Nothing, no one, it's okay, I think that's someone we know, just, uh, hang on a second? We'll be right back."

"Sure," she nodded in confusion, watching you get from your seat and follow Pete out the door onto the blistering cold sidewalk.

"Hey, Mama Donna," you greeted happily, arms crossing over your chest to protect from the wind. "Have you been inside yet? We saved you a seat and all, but isn't this - just wow?" You grinned, trying to encourage her to say anything about her children's hard work.

"Oh, no, no, not you, too, Peach, why are you here?" She groaned lightly, looking upset and close to tears.

"I'm here 'cause of Carmy? I-It's opening night, yeah?" You offered in confusion. "Why? What's wrong, Mama D?" You worried, glancing at an emotional Pete.

"No, it's just, I can't come in, I can't, just no," she backed away, only now making you notice the way Pete cried. "I'm so sorry, Peach, honey, but I was never here. Okay? I-I'll call them later, I swear, I promise, I'll call them - but I-I-I wasn't here. Okay? You can't tell them I was here. I'm so sorry."

"Donna, don't do this," you begged, head shaking. "Don't, please. Just come in with Pete and I - just sit there for a bit. Just come in and see what your kids have done - Donna, it's so beautiful. You'd be so proud, but you should really see it for yourself - "

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I can't, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, not tonight, no, I'm sorry, I can't," she deflected in a rambling mumble, turning and hustling down the sidewalk with her head shaking like a Etch-A-Sketch.

You rounded on Pete, "What the hell was that? Pete, what just happened?"

"Um, I-I don't - I didn't mean to."

"Pete? What didn't you mean?"

"She didn't tell her mom about the baby," he rushed, tears falling. "Nat didn't tell Donna, Peach, and I think I just did - I think I just fucked up and told her."

"Oh, no... No, Pete, you didn't."

"I didn't mean to! I swear it was an accident!"

"No, I know you didn't mean to, honey," you rushed, opening your arms to bring him in for a tight hug. "Oh, you poor boy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Pete."

He sighed, "I'm sorry, too, Peach."

"For what?"

"That... We fell in love with Berzattos and this is our new normal now, right?" He sniffled.

You half-smiled, "Yeah, something like that. But it's okay. See, where Donna's afraid to give her love, neither of us are. Sugar and Carm deserve that from us, right? To be authentic and just love them?"

He nodded, "Yeah, you're right."

"And that's all we gotta do... Is love them, Pete."

"God knows where else they'd get it," he huffed, wiping his face. "Hey, um, I'll be in, in a second - I just need a minute alone, I think, in the cold."

"Take all the time you need," you agreed.

"We're not - we're not telling them about this, right?"

You sighed, "No, I don't think so - at least right now. It might hurt them more, you know? To know Donna was here, but never came in. That she ran away... Again. It'll hurt, they deserve to be happy about tonight."

Pete nodded rapidly, looking like he was gonna burst into tears. Instead of going back inside, you just moved to Pete's side and stood there; producing a cigarette, lighting it, offering Pete a drag that he turned down, and the both of you just standing silently; one smoking, one crying, both processing.

"Wow, look at these gorgeous ladies! By far the baddest in the whole place! Yeah, man!" Fak teased as he approached you and Danielle after closing the The Bear officially. "What a privilege to have you both dine with us this evening! Ugh, truly an honor to see you both here," he praised comically, evening giving a small bow that his brother mimicked.

Your eyes rolled, "You're laying it on really thick when I already tipped you." He snickered with Theo. "Hey, seriously, though, tonight was incredible. I mean, it was all so beautiful, you should all be so proud."

"Oh, we are," Neil giggled, his brother hanging off his shoulders.

"Good," you teased. "Uh, is now an okay time to go back and see him? Kinda wanna offer my compliments to the chef directly, you know?"

"No," Fak answered instantly, "uh, well, probably not the best time."

"Yeah, probably not," Theodore echoed.

"I can sense you two ramping up to something," you sighed, "so, I'm gonna ask you skip all that and tell me what's wrong. Why can't I go see my boyfriend? He just had an incredibly successful opening night, I kinda wanna kiss him if you don't mind."

"Um, well, h-he didn't want you to worry, so, he said not t'tell you, but, uh... Yeah, no, Carmy's, like, locked in the walk-in freezer. Han Solo style."

"What?"

"Locked in the walk-in," Fak nodded rapidly, "yeah, no, the handle - like, the whole handle came off. He's locked in, Peach..."

"Oh, my fucking God," you breathed. "Are you saying he - he missed opening night? Neil!"

"Yeah, kinda... Well, sorta - I mean, technically, but - "

"Oh, Jesus," you breezed past them all.

"Mmm-mmm, the fridge guy's name is Terry," Tina corrected Carmy, flinching a little when he slapped the other side of the metal door he was locked behind.

"See, th-tha-that's what I'm talking about!" Carmy raged. "I'm so fucking distracted, and for what? For fucking what? 'Cause of a girl?" He chuckled ruefully to himself.

"Nuh-uh, don't do that, Carmy," Tina scolded. "That's not no girl, that's your girl, that's Peach - you don't lash out at her, baby."

"Yo, maybe - maybe I'm just not built for this. Right? Maybe that's okay! Maybe that just is. She'd be better off, Tina... I'm just - I'm not built for this."

But what Carmy didn't hear was Sydney asking Tina to cover her at the front because she needed to step out the back, get some air; Tina accepting and telling Carm to hang on a moment. Something he missed. While Tina took Syd's spot, Syd rushed outside, and you slipped in the kitchen door; Carmy being surrounded by shitty ripped tape and an entire side full of the flowers he had brought in for tonight - for you. It was a haunting reminder; something suffocating.

When you got to the walk-in, you were prepared to call out for Carmy, but he started speaking from within, halting any word on your tongue.

"I wasn't here b-because I was looking a-a-at fucking engagement rings when the fridge guy fuckin' called," Carmy ranted, your heart stalling in your chest. "Right? Like, what the fuck was I thinking? Like I was gonna get married? Commit to this relationship? Be h-her fucking husband or some shit? Have a fucking wife? I'm a fucking - I'm a fuckin' psycho!" He laughed a little, the tears springing to your eyes as his words disarmed your heart and emotional dam. "That's why! That's why I'm good at what I do! That's how I operate! I am the best because I didn't have any of this fuckin' bullshit, right? I could - I could focus and I could concentrate and I had a routine and I - and I had fuckin' cell reception, and Peach and I just had our own routine! We didn't need this extra bullshit, and now..."

You just listened, leaning on the freezer's door, tears silently leaking down your cheeks as you had the horrendous realization that you were what now slowed Carmy down. You were what currently stood in his way, when this whole time, you thought you were helping; making things easier; supporting him. No... No, his words rattled your heart to accept that you were now the bane; the object of his ire. You and your relationship was what was wrong and was causing Carmy hurt and professional complications.

Something you never wanted to contribute towards. You both always said if this relationship got to be too hard, you'd walk away. Better to feel anger than resentment; and now, you knew you had to walk away else risk that resentment fester.

Carmy started up again, "I don't need to provide amusement or enjoyment, I don't need to be someone's 'to have and to hold'. I don't need to receive any amusement or enjoyment, nor for someone to have and hold me... And I'm completely fine with that. Because no amount of good is worth how terrible this fucking feels." You were ready to open your mouth, but he finished by nailing the final nail in the coffin of your relationship, "It's just a complete waste of fuckin' time - entertaining what I know I shouldn't. Being in this relationship, trying to give what I don't have, wasting everyone's time."

You took your chance, speaking through your tears, "I'm really sorry you feel that way, Carmen."

"Peach?" Carmy rasped from behind the door, sounding more alert than he had before. "Baby? Hey, hey, Peaches? That you? Peach - hey. Hey," he sounded desperate as you backed away from the door, a fist pounding into the metal, "hey, no, Y/N? Y/N!" The seriousness settled over you both, Carmen understanding you heard a lot more than ever intended and once those words are out there, there's no getting them back. "Y/N, baby? Hey, no, no, Y/N - listen to me - hey, no, no! I-I didn't know you were there, baby, okay? No, Y/N, please - tell me you're there now, let me explain." He paused. "Let me explain! Please! C'mon, baby, please, let me fucking explain - tell me you're still there! Y/N? Y/N!"

You sniffled and walked away, feeling smaller than you ever had in your life. You barely noticed when the kitchen door opened, not until a figured dressed in black stopped you. "Peach? Hey, hey," Richie halted you - taking note of the tears. "What's wrong? What happened? Are you okay - who fuckin' did it?"

You just stared at Richie for a long moment, opening your mouth twice before sighing and smiling sadly. "I never wanted to be what got in his way," you whispered sadly. "I'm sorry, Richie."

"Peaches, hey, what's - "

But you reached up to kiss his cheek, "Tonight was so beautiful, Cousin, and I'm so fucking proud of you all. Thank you for everything - not just tonight, Richie, but everything you do." You smiled again, whispering, "Take care of him. Okay? He'll need you."

"What're you talking about? What's going on? Where are you going? Hey, where are you going, Peach, please?"

"Have a good night, Richie, I love you," you whispered, leaving out the kitchen door as quickly as you could. "Hey," you sniffled, approaching Dani with the Fak Brothers, "can we go now, please?"

"Are you okay?" Dani worried in shock.

"I'd really like to go, Dani, please," you rushed, throwing your coat on and smiling at the Brothers as if your heart wasn't in pieces. "Thanks again for tonight, you guys, it was magical."

"Peach? Wait, hey, are you okay, baby? What just happened?" Neil worried, watching you snatch Dani's hand, but pause when screaming was heard from the kitchen. Everyone stared at the door, Neil muttering, "The fuck are they...?"

"Now, Dani, please," you whimpered to your friend, who wasted no time in escorting you out of The Bear. The moment you were outside, you burst into sobs, Dani grunting a little as she lead you down a side alley to lean you on a brick wall and beg you to breathe normally.

"What the hell just happened? Hey, honey, you need to breathe," she smoothed hair off your face - but it was like you were drowning in the air with the way you gasped and gaped and panted and whimpered and choked yourself.

"I-I-I-I think - I think w-we're done, I think we're done, I think - oh, fuck - I think we just broke up," you sobbed, hands on your knees. "Oh, my God, Dani," you whimpered, "I-I think - I think we're done, Danielle, oh, my fucking God. I-I heard things tonight that I just - I can't not know, anymore! He said - fuck! He was just so candid, he didn't know I was there so h-he was sayin' things I have t-to now confront - and I really didn't fucking want to! He just - he doesn't want to really marry me, D, and-and-and he was apparently looking a-a-a-at rings - fucking engagement rings! But then he said that w-was the issue - he missed the fridge guy's call 'cause he was looking at fucking rings for me and this is why he missed opening night - 'cause the fucking fridge broke! Oh, my God, Danielle, i-i-it's my fault, it's my fucking fault, he missed the most important night of his life and it's my fault - "

You were cut off by your stomach lurching, emptying your insides onto the pavement. The delicious appetizer, the tantalizing main course, Marcus' fresh baked bread that was delightfully soft on the inside yet baked crisp on the outside, and every bit of the sweetened dessert - all wasted on Chicago bricks.

"Okay, okay, ah, shit, just get it out, babe, there you go," Danielle held your hair, catching you in a suffocating hug once you were done puking. "I've got you, babe, I've got you. You're okay, no, hey, this isn't your fault. I've got you, come on. I think we need pints of ice cream and the saltiest pretzels we can find," she pushed some hair from your sticky forehead, pouting dramatically, "maybe some Pepto? Few Saltines and ginger ale? C'mon, we're going back to mine, there's a good girl," she coaxed you from the ground and away from the wall, "c'mon, you're stronger than this. There's my girl, here we go, just one foot in front of the other - together, with me, just like that."

You sobbed, not knowing that Sydney and her father stood listening just a few feet away behind a set of dumpsters.

The moment the freezer's door was open and Carmy was free, he was sprinting around the kitchen to grab his coat, leave Neil in charge of closing, and racing out the door as the Fak Brothers yelled at him for hurting your feelings.

"Hey, hey, hey, Chef! Carmy, wait!" Sydney chased him outside.

"No time!"

"Wait! She went with her friend!"

Carmy came to a tripping halt, catching himself before he hit the pavement before whirling around to approach her, "What?"

"Her friend? She was with some girl tonight?"

"Yeah - yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, um, that's - yeah, that's Danielle," Carmy nodded. "Her best friend, yeah, they were here tonight, sitting with Pete and Sugar."

"Listen, Carmy, I heard them when they left the restaurant... Peach was really upset, like, more upset than I've ever heard, saying you two broke up? Or something? She cried so hard, Carm, she actually threw up, it sounded like she was in genuine distress. I-I didn't know if I should've intervened, but her friend was with her and helping."

"Shit - fuck - Goddamnit," he seethed. "All right, thank you - "

"I doubt they went to your place, I think I heard her friend saying they were going to her apartment."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, great, I know where Dani lives, thanks Syd!" Carmy bid, sprinting in the other direction - never bothering with the public bus system, just running into the night. Sydney was left to sigh on the sidewalk, Neil and Theo joining her before Richie followed - all watching Carmy disappear down the sidewalk.

"He's a fucking idiot," Richie shook his head.

"What the hell even happened?" Syd asked.

"Carmy mouthed off in the walk-in, Peach heard it all," Richie supplied. "You know the dumbass was gonna propose tonight?"

"What?" Syd blinked in shock.

"Yeah," Neil tacked on, "we had a whole plan and everything. Candles, soft music, flowers - there's a bunch of flower bouquets in the walk-in."

"I'm sure that was hard for Carm to look at," Syd sympathized.

"Doesn't excuse whatever he said," Richie snapped. "She looked devastated."

"She cried so hard, she threw up in the alley," Syd frowned.

"How do you know?" Neil asked.

"I heard her," the other chef frowned. "My dad and I - we actually both heard her."

"Jesus fuck," Richie seethed.

"I mean... Should we still set up?" Theo wondered to his brother. "What if they kiss and make up, like always? Carmy might still wanna go through with the proposal, right? You know?"

"Maybe," Neil trailed, looking at Richie.

"I don't fucking know," he sighed, hands on his hips.

"She thinks they broke up, I imagine whatever she heard was pretty nasty," Sydney frowned. "Think they'll really make up tonight?"

"Let's hope," Richie sighed. "That fuckin' idiot isn't gonna find anyone better than Peach. Fuck," he looked around the city street. "All right, fuck it, fine, let's fucking set up. Not like the jackass deserves it, but let's do it for Peach."

Neil and his brother grinned at each other, turning to hustle back into The Bear - leaving Sydney and Richie on the street. No words were exchanged, just silent shakes of their heads before they followed the Faks with the intention to help set up for a proposal nobody even knew if would still happen.

The cold night burned Carmy's lungs, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of suffocation he felt earlier when listening to one of your voicemails while trapped.

Your words were sweet as pie, as they usually were; a voicemail left when you were still at work, but feeling so excited to see him that night that you just had to call him. You reminded him of the adoration and love you held for him, relaying how proud you felt - and that you knew Mikey would be, too. You were always doing that, reassuring Carmy; and maybe that's why he felt so freaked out, he wasn't used to it. Even after almost 7 years together, he just wasn't used to what he didn't know he deserved.

Because Carmy didn't think he deserved anything remotely close to love, understanding, compassion, patience, and / or reassurance.

He had sobbed out loud as he locked his phone, not having the heart to delete your message. He often never did - he liked listening to your voice on long, hard nights; it brought him peace when the world felt too loud. He also kept whatever little notes you left for him, even going as far as to get a few of your hand-drawn hearts tattooed on his forearm. One for each anniversary you've shared together. He realized he never wanted to be without you and all his doubts and fear was him projecting his own incompetence towards this relationship; so, he locked his phone, he didn't delete your message.

The moment the fridge door had been opened, Carmy was out of there, shot off like a Roman Candle - your words of love and understanding still ringing in his ears as he was freed. He needed to apologize, and he needed to apologize right fucking now.

The whole run to Danielle's apartment, Carmy wasn't sure what to say to you; mulling over different ideas in his head. He tried to plan his speech, but the only thing he could think of was how much he loved you and that the ring in his pocket weighed a hundred pounds.

He pounded at Danielle's door. Carmy paced slightly as he waited, knocking frantically, and surely waking the neighbors - but that didn't matter. All that mattered was talking to you, something he was desperate to accomplish. When the door opened, your friend offered a stale look and shook her head, "Nope."

"Dani, please," he halted the closing door, "it's all a misunderstanding, I swear to God, please, just - let me try to fix this. Please, okay? I-I need her - I fucking need her and I have to fix this 'cause she's all that matters, okay? So, let me talk to her - please. Please, Danielle!"

"Yeah? The only thing?"

"More than anyone, more than anything - more than The fucking Bear, I swear to fucking God, Danielle! Just - Just one chance, please. I-I don't know how it all got so fucked, but please, I have to try - "

"Whatever you said in that freezer, Carmen, fucking gutted her, you hear me?" Dani stood in her doorway protectively. "Should've had your ass frozen for the hurt you caused her. How the fuck do you intend on making this right? Huh? It's been almost a fucking decade, dude, if you're seriously still afraid of commitment, just fuck off and leave her alone. Let her walk away 'cause I promise, there's a line of dudes who would love to put a ring on her loyal-ass finger - "

"Please, let me fix this," Carmy begged, sounding close to tears. "I need her, Danielle, please."

"It's okay, D," a voice whispered from behind Danielle, and when she turned, you were revealed - jacket and purse in hand, looking completely exhausted, drained, and disheveled. "I'm just tired, Dani, but we have to talk about this... So, I'll go home with him and call you tomorrow, okay?"

"You sure?"

"It's a decent walk, gives us too much time to talk," you shrugged, refusing to meet Carmy's bloodshot eyes. "Thanks for tonight, sorry I was such a mess," you whispered, hugging your best friend since pre-school.

"Girl, don't you ever apologize to me. But hey, look, I don't know, you were just drowning in your tears, like, five minutes ago. Sure you really wanna go? You can stay here as long as you'd like, girl, fuck him."

"Better to work it out now than later, I guess," you whispered, letting her kiss your cheek and see you guys out.

"She calls me cryin', Carmen, I'll kick your ass," She threatened as you moved down the apartment's hall. You might've snickered just a little, but the amusement was wiped clean when you rounded the corner and came up to the elevators.

Now that it was just you two, it was dreadfully awkward.

"Baby - "

"Just - don't talk for right now, Carmen," you sighed, shaking your head. "I'm still digesting all you said."

He frowned when you walked onto the elevator without a single emotion on your face, following you, and when on the ground floor, moved out to head home. It was quiet, it was awkward; only the sounds of traffic filling the space between you as you walked.

"Listen," he started with a long sigh, "you came in at the worst time, Peach, heard some shit you shouldn't have that I-I didn't even mean. I was just," he paused, sighing, "really angry and frustrated, fucking running my mouth 'cause I didn't know what else to do."

"Sounded like I came in at the best time since you're not very forthcoming with emotions. So, hearing your confession put a lot in perspective for me, Carm."

"I was just angry, Peach," he frowned, hands deep in his pockets. "Felt like I was self sabotaging myself, I wasn't sure what else to feel. So, I just lashed out. I didn't mean it, but I just felt like being angry... So fucking angry, baby, I just - I didn't know what else to feel."

"I don't know if I can be with someone like that," you whispered. "Someone who throws our relationship under the bus when he's angry, someone who's first line of defense is apparently to blame the relationship he's been in for over half a decade with the same girl. Someone you've known your whole life..."

"Peach - "

"If it's that easy for you to just disregard us, I don't think we should continue this."

Carmy took a breath and reached out to pull you to a stop. He dug in his pocket for a moment, then showed you the black velvet jewelry box. "I was gonna propose tonight, when everyone was gone," he explained when you took the box to open gingerly. "I think because that was on my mind already, something I was more than nervous to actually do, you're right, it did become my first line of defense to blame us - not just you, baby, but us. You and me... Mostly me, though," he chuckled sadly. "You're this perfect, sweet angel who just loves me out loud when I don't deserve it, and I'm... I'm just me," he sighed, eyes reddening. "And I know I'm never gonna be enough for you, I think I started to get in my head about if you said no. How I missed the call from Terry about the fridge 'cause I was picking out an engagement ring that you didn't even want, that you rejected - rejected me; and in turn, I missed opening night, and it all just - it got to a boiling point. Look, Peach, it's never been a secret that I don't think I deserve you... But I wanted to be the man that could at least give you an honest try of my best. You've stuck by me the past seven years when you should've ran for the hills, and I knew I wanted us for life years ago - but everything was still so up in the air. So confusing. So fucked up. I figured, after opening tonight, if things went t'plan, I could propose - prove to you that we're on our feet and there weren't any rugs to be pulled."

"What if things didn't go to plan?" You whispered.

"We're kinda living it now," he admitted, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "But even if tonight was all a total failure, I know I might've still done it because it's you, Peach. It's you... I've known for years you're who I want, I just never knew how to do this - to move us forward. You're my first relationship, hopefully my only relationship, and I just didn't know how to advance us. I think when things got real for me, my insecurities crept in, and I just reacted - I didn't think."

"We always said when this wasn't healthy or when this wasn't good for us anymore, we'd walk away," you reminded. "That we'd rather be sad or angry about a breakup instead of letting resentment fester from being together."

"It's still good for me, Peach, we're still good," he whispered, stepping closer. "Is it still good for you? Or did I lose you completely tonight?"

"I don't know, Carmy, you've been lashing out a lot lately. At me specifically."

"And with The Bear now open, I-I should be okay. You know? Back to normal?"

You chuckled dryly, "I see, back to your high walls? Emotional constipation?"

"Then maybe not normal," he corrected, "because I just needed to get us here, to tonight, to opening, and then show you that it's over. Show you that part of our lives is over and we only have more adventures to look forward to. Not ones like this, though," he gestured up the street, your eyes cutting over and realizing you were back at The Bear.

"Do you really think you're a psycho?"

He chuckled, "After tonight? Yeah, pretty convinced... Plus, I, uh, I saw in the freezer the way we're labeling things - and got angry about it. Angry about the way we were tearing tape and labeling things. It was so fucking stupid, but I just - I felt so crazy. I still do, I still feel like my head doesn't make sense and I'm a bit, you know... Crazy."

You nodded slowly, "Then how can you promise me this kinda shit won't happen again?"

"I don't think I can, but I can make you the promise that I am working on it; trying to identify when I feel reactive, trying to calm that down. I'm trying, Peach, I really am - it's just... Taking a lot of time," he sighed sadly. "And I know you don't have any more left to give me."

"I've already given you this many years," you reminded softly, "I think I could spare another or two if it meant you getting your shit together, that you get better, stop feeling so crazy."

"I don't deserve anymore time - "

"I think you need to step back and reevaluate what it means to be deserving because you always say that. That you don't deserve something - even as simple as time. Everyone deserves time and opportunity to figure shit out, Carmy, and you're no exception."

He nodded, "I'm... Trying." He took a long, deep breath, "I'm, uh... Going to meetings, you know, like, uh, Al-Anon and whatever."

"That's good, they're there to help," you nodded, stepping closer to take his hands in yours after closing the ring box and stuffing it back in his pocket. "Now, I think you need to do something."

"Anything, Peach."

"Take my hand, bring me back to The Bear, and go about your plan."

He froze in shock, blinking at you in earnest, "You really mean that?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"No, ma'am, and I think that scares me more."

"You'd rather break up? 'Cause at this point, Carm, we either move forward with this engagement and fucking work our shit out, or we break up. It's been almost a decade. It's your choice, you're the one who was saying he couldn't be someone's husband, that he didn't need to provide anyone nor have them provide you with anything. So, you tell me what you want to do - because all I know is that I love you, I want you for life, but not if you're going to resent me and regret moving our relationship forward. I don't need to get married, Carmy, but you can't keep jerking me around like you have been. So... Make a decision based on what you want - based on what's best for you. Not what's best for us, but put yourself first right now, Carmy, and make a decision about what you want."

With a nod of his head, Carmy cleared his throat and offered you his hand. When he felt you lock your fingers with his, he glanced up and down the street, then lead you across it. Up the sidewalk and to the front door of The illuminating Bear, he paused to produce his keys and then lead you inside.

The lights were dim, but a flip of the switch brightly lit up the newly constructed restaurant. He seemed nervous at your cool demeanor, watching you shed your coat and set your purse down; but his hand took yours again and lead you further into the place. He seemed nervous, but once in the kitchen, it was almost like Carmy's stress melted away.

"I was... I had this plan," he explained softly, leaning on one of the work stations with both hands in yours to keep you in front of him. "I have all these candles, right? Was gonna distract you in here," he looked around the fluorescent lighting, "while Richie, Fak, Tina, and the others set everything up. We'd hang in here after the place was closed down, you know, show you around the completed kitchen. And really casually, I'd ask if you were ready to go, so, we'd go out the front, and we'd walk right into the candlelight..."

"Yeah?" He nodded, thumbs running over your hands as he pushed off the counter. "Don't deviate from your plan now..."

Carmy smirked, "Wanna hear the boring kitchen stuff?"

"Of course, I do."

So, he lead you around in a tour of the kitchen; showing off the new office space that he invited you to take advantage of whenever you wanted. The sleek appliances were shown off, the vast fridges, freezers, new cutlery, state-of-the-art dishwashers. Everything, he showed you, knowing you helped him pick a lot of it out - it was still nice to see it all come together finally.

And then, slowly, he lead you out of the kitchen, but to your honest shock, the dining room was covered in lit candles and different bouquets of thick, gorgeous floral arrangements. "Oh, holy shit," you breathed, Carmy hiding his confusion much better than you.

You came to a slow halt in the middle of the room, the lights out and only leaving the candles to provide an ambiance. "I had this whole speech planned, too," Carmy told you softly. "Remind you of the day we met, how you saved me from those jackass bullies - remember?"

You smiled softly, emotions swirling in your chest, "First day of first grade, you had a Buzz Lightyear backpack and some kids were picking on you 'cause of it."

"And what did you do?"

You felt bashful remembering, but humored him by answering, "Pushed their faces in the mud at recess and made them apologize."

"You've been my best friend since that day," he nodded, bringing you in a few steps closer. "And when we got to high school, my feelings changed. You weren't just my best friend, but the girl I was madly in love with... Took me a couple years to buck up the courage to ask you out officially, though."

"Sure took your sweet time," you whispered with a smile, "but all good things to those who wait, right?"

"And I think you've waited long enough for a man to be who you deserve," he frowned. "All these years - it's been you at my side. You even - fuck - you even came over to Amsterdam for a bit because I was feeling overwhelmed and lonely. Sad, maybe even a little homesick. But you just - you just showed up like it was the most common thing in the world."

You chuckled through your tears, "Yeah, we had some good times on that boat, didn't we?"

He nodded with a softening smile, pushing hair from your face and behind your ear; pausing to hold your cheek carefully. "And when we came back stateside... You were still the only constant presence in my life. You were my family without blood, and I knew after that Christmas that you'd forever be my other half, and I'd spend my life conveying how grateful I am for you. I just - I never knew how to put it into words until now."

"What changed?"

"Realizing that I wanted to marry you years ago - and I should've. I know I shouldn't have drug my feet with us, delay our inevitable, because honestly? I couldn't see my life without you in it and I knew I needed you with me forever. Peach," he frowned, reaching for your other cheek, "we agreed when this wasn't healthy, we'd walk away - I remember that. But I need you to know, I'll never fucking regret you. I'll never resent you. You've been unwaveringly supportive and loving and... And I've been the luckiest man to experience it all. But now," he pushed himself a step closer so he was hovered over your lips, "I know that you deserve someone just as present in this relationship as you are. I knew once The Bear was done, I was done - I was done beating this bush around and wasting time. I knew what I needed to do because the idea of you not being in my life anymore terrifies me more than anything. I don't remember life without you, Peach, and I don't ever want to know what it's like. So," he cleared his throat, "here, in the restaurant I so desperately wanted to give up on so many times, but you always stopped me, I wanted to make this official. I wanted it to be here to show you that the past year of our turmoil - it's fucking over, Peach. We did it," he whispered, "and now, the next and only thing I want to focus on is us."

Carmy readjusted you both for a little bit of space, holding your left hand tightly as he lowered himself to a single knee; looking up at you with those big, wide, sad blue eyes that were growing redder by the passing second. The candlelight created a romantic atmosphere that cocooned you both in a warm embrace, the flowers around you projecting their floral scent.

"So, I need to ask you something real important, baby," he whispered, his throat bobbing to restrain his emotion that clawed up his throat, "because if I don't, I don't think I could breathe again." He cleared his throat, pulling the ring box from his pocket and opening it to present to you officially. "Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N... My sweetest Peach, I've loved you almost my entire life, you're my best friend, my most loyal and sweetest confidant. You make me want to be a man better than I was yesterday and never before have I ever seriously considered marriage - until you. Now? Now, I can't get the idea out of my head, so, my sweet girl," he took another breath, the tears in his eyes swelling and slowly dripping down his cheeks as you slowly got on your knees in front of him, "I need to ask you... W-Would you do me the honor? Of being my wife?"

"Carmen."

He grinned at you, both with tears down your cheeks. "Will you marry me, Y/N? I can't see my life without you in it, so... I want this, I want you for life. Y/N, will you marry me?" He paused, adding a meek little, "Please?" at the end.

With a deep breath, you slowly reached for his cheeks in a soft caress to wipe his tears; both just staring at one another for a good few moments before a face-splitting grin nearly cracked your lips. "Yes," you finally answered, "yeah, yes, yes, of course, I'll marry you, Carmen, yes!"

"Oh, thank fuckin' God," he laughed, letting you lunge forward to knock him backward in a hug - missing the candles arranged in a small circle for you two to stand in. Carmy laughed loudly, happily, giving you a tight squeeze as he mused, "Had my heart beatin' outta my chest for a second there, Peach."

"Oh, please," you laughed, "after all this time, you really thought I'd say no?"

He shrugged meekly, "Thought my most recent fuck-ups would've added to any reasons you might have to say no."

"Oh, spare me - you're my best friend, Carmy, you know I couldn't ever say no to you. Not without puking in nervousness."

"Can we maybe not talk about puke when we just got engaged?"

You laughed and nodded, "Fine, fine, fine, then put the ring on, please."

You presented your left manicured hand, watching Carmy almost giddily removed the band from the box, took a slow, deep breath, and then, the most beautiful ring was being slid onto your finger in an official show of your engagement. Of your undying love. Of your commitment, promises, and future together.

"YEAH!" An array of varying cheers and hollers of support and excitement rang out around you; startling both you and Carmy to look up. Richie, Sydney, Tina, Neil, Theo, Pete, and Sugar all hung in the bathroom's alcove - watching with splitting grins and cheering in celebration.

There was no time to question them as Richie lead the charge over; helping you to your feet for a giant, bear hug before gushing over your engagement ring. Neil and Theo popped one of the authentic bottles of champagne, pouring different flutes for those present.

"Calm down," Natalie scolded Richie lightly, "and move out the way, I want to hug my engaged bestie!"

You squealed with Sugar when her arms wrapped around you tightly, Rich moving on to congratulate Carmy - who apologized for his angry words earlier and thanked them for still setting things up. Richie promised it was for you, not Carmy, but still hugged the little shit with a laugh - indicating he was just joking.

"Let me see!" Natalie grinned, examining the ring Carmy chose and squealing again. "Oh, my God! Oh, it's so pretty! Oh, shit - sisters!" She gasped, holding your hands tightly, "We're going to be sisters - like, officially!"

"Sisters in law, but yeah, cupcake," you beamed at her, wiping your tears and giggling. "I can't - this just doesn't feel real," you told her softly, looking the few feet over to see Carmy with the lads as Sydney stood with you and Sugar. "Him proposing? I genuinely thought it wouldn't happen," you tried to laugh your nerves off, looking at your ring and fiddling with it.

"Yeah, right," Sydney laughed. "I haven't been around that long and even I knew this was gonna happen."

"Oh, please, she's right," Natalie grinned when you went to retaliate, "he first started talking about how he wanted to marry you when he was, like, 15. This has been the longest thing coming."

"Thank you guys for helping," you whispered with a smile. "It's all so beautiful."

"Happy to help for a good cause," Syd smiled, complimenting your ring as Neil called for a toast. Everyone was given flutes of champagne, Carmy's arm wrapping around your waist as each friend gave their own little speech, congratulating you both before the alcohol was being drained.

"Uh, and where are you two going?" Sugar asked about an hour later with a small giggle when Carmy wrapped an arm around your neck after helping you into your coat again.

"Gotta celebrate alone with my fiancé," he smirked, "later, guys! Don't forget to lock up!"

"Carmen!" You scolded with a small laugh, gaping at him.

"What? They got this," Carmy chuckled. "Thanks, you guys, see you tomorrow!"

"We can help clean," you told him as he lead you out of the restaurant.

"Nah, we've got bigger plans," he smirked at you. "Got plenty t'celebrate, yeah? Ever fucked as fiancés before?"

"No - but I hear it's some crazy sex," you whispered, locking your arms around his waist to stay close. Neither of you cared about the bus at this hour, opting to walk home in the cold - not that you felt it. Your love burned brighter than the cold biting your skin.

requesting rules and masterlist

The Bear masterlist

[cafehyunji]

Video Phone | Abby Anderson

you sayin that you want me? So press record, I'll let you film me. On your video phone

content : smut, fingering, moaning, minor cussing, modern!abby

I recommend Minors do not interact !!

Knowing Abby, she would take late shifts at the fire department, being in the status of the hard working (and hot) fire fighter, leaving you home alone with your rampant thoughts of her and her “actions”, and today was one of those days. Rather than the usual fingering alone to just the thought of her while laying on her side of the bed you both lay in, listening to a playlist you made for times alone, you take another route. Recording it and sending it to her.

Abby gets a notification as she finishes up the last 30 of her shift, she swipes up pressing the notification with the contact name “Angel 🤍” with an attachment. She’s greeted with the view of you in a pair of lingerie she couldn’t recognize, quickly reaching in her pockets she ruffles around to find her headphones, pulling out the once white case now turned yellow from her hectic days of playing ‘the garden wife” in your backyard on her off days.

Taking out the small pieces inside and placed them in her ear. She looks around a bit not knowing if this could be the regular ask of how your outfit looks or something else, once she feels the coast is clear she starts the video. The phone is set up close enough, giving her a great view of your glistening folds in the dim room, lit by the thin cheap fairy lights you bought on a whim months ago. She cringed seeing them in your hands after telling you they were a fire risk days before they came, but she couldn’t disappoint her beautiful girl… could she?

Soft moans flowed through the small white pieces of plastic, making her feel as if she was in the room sitting and watching as you touched yourself for her. She loved how the dim small warm tinted lights hit your brown slick folds, listening to the sweet gush of her pretty pussy taking in your two digits with ease. From behind the screen, dear lord was she drooling and parched (and nearly having a waterfall between her thighs.) “I wish you were here…” you softly pant, speeding up your thrust. “I don’t feel right without you… but I’m so impatient.. fuck..” You huff, panting and throwing your head back in pleasure.

You softly whine, lifting your head to look at the phone watching yourself as you touch yourself thinking of Abby sitting, and watching at the edge of the bed telling you what to do. A few more pumps of your digits bring you a harsh feeling of relief, causing you to gush all over the newly washed fitted sheets you put on hours ago. you toss your head back onto the pillows, letting the video end on its own before getting up and sending the good parts to Abby.

©cafehyunji 2023

A/n: Long time no see... It's been a long ass time since I've posted something on here that wasn't a repost.. at least Im not treating y'all like my editing account... (I haven't posted there in like 6-7 months.. I'm treating it like the plague..)

[moonystoes]

Tiktok Trend - Elisa De Almeida

Summary: you and Elisa decide to hard launch by doing a tiktok trend.

A/n: heyyy!! This was actually my first ever fic (January 5th) and I completely forgot about it until I decided to clean up my notes app and couldn't even recognize it. It's quite short ( and a mess) but sweet. Enjoy!!!

"Okay let's do this tiktok trend you showed me!" Elisa jumped up from the beige couch excitedly. It was you who showed her the tiktok trend where couples tell the camera what they like and hate about each other, but it wasn't your intention to film one. She was skeptical about posting a lot of photos of you on her account, worried if her fans would bother you. And although it annoyed you at first that she's hiding you, it made you warm that she's doing all of this for your comfort.

But fanpages had already found your accounts on tiktok and instagram, stalking your posts and going through your stories every time you post. At first it made you uncomfortable, but you had accepted it for the sake of elisa. Some of them are nice, ones that you look through their edits and content and smile. But of course there were some that sent you weird messages about leaving their 'wife'.

"Are you sure it's a good idea? I haven't posted tiktoks about you yet."

"I mean... do you not want to? It's your account. And besides, you have already posted photos of me on Instagram so they're aware of us." Her sudden energy slightly deflated when she heard your hesitant tone.

"Yes! I don't mind it at all. Ehm... okay sit next to me and I'll prop my phone here." You pointed next to you on the couch, grabbing your phone and angling it on the coffee table perfectly to show the both of you.

You took a deep breath as you opened tiktok. You knew there was no going back once you do this, they will either love you or completely harass you.

"Hey I'm here with elisa and we have to say one thing we hate about each other." You touched your hair, making sure it's not a mess. Elisa can sense you being worried, she softly intertwined her hand with your other one.

"Why hate? Why not love?" She fake frowned, "wow is there no love in your heart?" She looked at the camera with a raised eyebrow in fake-shock.

"Oh my god!" You rolled your eyes, "we will start with hate and then love. So if you get pissed at what I hate about you, you'd feel better about the love." You played with her thin cross bracelet, your eyes zoning out at the sight of her veiny hand. She looked back at you with a sarcastic angry face and a soft hum.

"Okay who will start?" She asked. Her gaze softening when she realized that you're not listening. She squeezed your hand, making you look up towards her face with a slight flushed face.

It was obvious that her hands and arms were distracting to you, she had noticed your fascination to them since your first date. At first she thought there was something like a sauce or maybe a bug on her hand when your eyes kept going down there, but there wasn't a thing there and it didn't take her long to understand.

"I'll start," she whispered, "I don't like it when you...always put others first, sometimes you need to be selfish and think about yourself." She whispered, her other hand playing with the button of your shirt.

You looked away to stop the blushing, realizing that if you looked at her eyes you'd probably stammer and never end up saying what you want. The amount PDA she's doing is stressing you a little, worried what the media would think. "What I don't like about you is... the tech fleece." You laughed at the way her face dropped.

"Are you serious? Mine was so romantic and yours is just so mean!" She let go of your hand, turning to the camera and folding her arms over her chest. "Wow you guys are witnessing a break up right now. The best thing about you is...the break up right now."

"Okay whatever, the best part about you is-"

"My hands!"

"Huh?" You looked at her face in confusion. She burst out laughing, her head tilting back and her hands clutching her side.

When realization hit, your face had a small shameful frown. You really thought you were slick admiring them, but she obviously knows you a little too much.

"Whatever, my favorite part about you is your smile." Elisa brushed off your reaction as she responded. She placed her arm around your shoulder and pulling you into her side, a soft smile blossomed in your face at the mention.

You hoped your blush was not obvious when you looked back at the small screen. You reached for the phone and ended the video, making a quick caption: "She got mad but it's the truth and you guys know it too."

You threw the phone to Elisa, obviously too scared to press 'post'. She held into your hand tightly and did it for you, before turning to look at you and shrugging, "done."

Since your job was at the evening, it wasn't hard to avoid your phone all day. It was until 10pm when the both of you cuddled in bed. Elisa's face was resting on the nape of your neck, she tapped your arm quickly as she huffed in frustration.

You stopped scrolling on Twitter to glare at her, "what?"

"Tiktok time before we sleep," she lifted her head to give you a pout, making you giggle and roll your eyes. It has been a routine for you to go on tiktok and her just staring at your screen before sleeping. The first time it happened was when you had your first night at her apartment, and you can vividly recall her face trying to pretend that she wasnt looking at your screen until you called her out for it.

"Fine," you laughed and went on tiktok, but the '99+' notifications reminded you of the video you made. Elisa noticed your uneasy look, before pressing the little envelope to see them.

The video already had around 50k likes, which was surprising since your usual ones get around 3000 only. You scrolled through the comments, many of them were in Portuguese since she's mostly popular in Brazil.

"You know... I don't feel so bad now that I don't speak Portuguese, because I don't wanna know what all of this is about."

Elisa sat up and grabbed your phone from your hands, she leaned in closer to your screen since she wasn't wearing her glasses, "umm...some of them are crying about me not being single, and...about us being touchy."

You remained quiet for a second, "so none of them are rude to me, yeah?" You glanced at her face as she turned to look at you, "don't lie, I wanna know what they think about me."

Elisa leaned in close and hugged you, she can hear the insecurity in your voice, "none of them are mean to you, I promise. They're just hurt that this sexy, hot, talented, beautiful woman has a girlfriend. But that's it."

You sarcastically pushed her away, "you don't even describe me that way."

She laughed and continued scrolling. By now, the comments became more international. Arabic, Spanish, French, English and more. You can understand some of them, which made your body relax when you realized Elisa was somewhat right.

"Omg what 💀💀"

"Noooooooo she's not single wtf"

"Please why is Elisa so touchy (im gonna cry I wish that was me)"

"Guys be nice to the poor girl, she looks so stressed posting this. We need to let her know that she's loved and appreciated by us 💞💞 (we need more content of elisa tho, plz y/n 🙏)"

"Please why are they cute"

"OMG WAG?? WE NEED SERIOUS WAG SERIES Y/N IF YOU'RE WATCHING THIS PLEASE"

"I think I just heard my heart get crushed. As long as she's happy"

"Why is Elisa with someone like that? She deserves way better 🤮"

Your eyes quickly looked away from the phone. Of course you'll get hate. There is no way you can please the millions that are thirsting for her.

Since Elisa's English isn't the best, it took her way longer to read that comment than you. She glanced at you as you were adjusting your pillow, preparing yourself to sleep.

She sighed and turned off your phone, reaching out to put it delicately on your nightstand, "baby...you know that they're just jealous of you, right?"

She placed her hand on you side and pulled you closer. She hated how you weren't facing her, it made it harder for her to see your features and emotions.

"You're the most beautiful and pure woman I've ever seen, I love everything about you and they clearly don't know anything for them to say a thing," she can feel your tense body slowly relax, "the truth is...dating someone that's famous, there are so many childish teens being obsessed and have no respect for others. It doesn't matter what that person says, because I'm happy with you and I hope I make you feel the things you make me feel."

You slowly turned around to face her, a soft grateful smile in your sleepy face, "I love you, and I'm so happy I bumped into you that day...I don't care what they say, I just hope I don't disappoint them."

"You'll never disappoint me, and they got to see only a minute of us...while I get 24 hours of you."

It softened your heart talking to her about all of this, feeling a little lighter after having this conversation. Within the 6 months of you dating, you were too scared to bring this topic up. And Elisa knew about it but waited for the moment you were comfortable enough to speak.

You leaned in closer to her as you placed your palm on her cheek, pulling her in to give her a peck. Elisa pulled you in closer to deepen the kiss, "I love you so much, y/n. I would make a whole tiktok account to bully the bullies if I had to."

You cackled at the comment, resting your head on her chest, "I love you too...but please don't do that,"

"Hmm...I just want to protect my princess," she joked.

"Goodnight, Eli."

"Goodnight."

___

~ Pleaseee hit my inbox if you have ideas because this was the last one in my brain

~ sorry if this isn't the best, I genuinely didn't know how to make it right

[fuctacles]

A tale as old as time

For @subeddieweek Day 7 | M | 2696 | cw: age gap (about 25-30y difference, Eddie's age is not stated, Steve's aligns with canon) | camboy Eddie, transmasc Eddie, kinda sugar daddy Steve?, modern AU, simp Steve, virgin Eddie, chatfic, pre-anything, gray ace Eddie | Ao3 Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Ao3

"Hawkins High '86? How old is this guy?" Eddie asks himself, his eyebrows raised. There is a letterman in front of him, a gift from one of his top subscribers. Hell, his top subscriber. His number-one fan, who was responsible for about half of his revenue.

He's opened a PO box recently, with no little amount of worry about what kind of stuff he might get. He only gave the address to his top subscribers but he knew that the ones with the most money were usually the most unhinged. He went to the post office with his heart in his throat but all he got was a set of lingerie, a toy, and the letterman he was now holding.

He tried not to think about what kind of people would pay for his content. As long as he was making money he didn't care. But now he got a piece of one of them in his hands. Staring back.

1986.

Meaning the guy must be nearing 60. Double Eddie's age. 

He tries to imagine that. An older guy, with wrinkles, maybe a beer belly, a gross old t-shirt, and his hand permanently in his sweats, beating it to his photos. 

It was gross. And in a way, alluring.

Though someone with so much money to spend on a camboy must have a well-paying job. Some rich asshole, exploiting others to do the work for him. That's a more likely scenario. He tries not to think about big, rough hands on him when he puts on the jacket and takes pics for Shar.

He edits them a bit before sending them, knowing the guy will get a kick from seeing him in his jacket. The appeal of wearing your boyfriend's letterman eluded him in high school, but being claimed like that gave him a heady feeling. The fact that the guy could be his father apparently worked for him too. 

He doesn't put his phone away fast enough and sees the message that pops up.

Shar: So hot. You look like every repressed teen jock's dream

Shar: Definitely like mine

Eddie thinks a moment about his response, channeling the persona he takes on for the camera. 

PuppetOfMasters: Would I be your dirty secret?

PuppetOfMasters: Would you fuck me in the locker room behind your girlfriend's back?

Shar: I'd make YOU my girlfriend

Shar: Wait no

Shar: NOT LIKE THAT

Shar: A girlfriend but in a manly way

Eddie snorts.

You're good, he types. I know what you mean, don't worry.

He wouldn't keep around someone who didn't respect him. Besides, he made it clear he's saving for a transition with his Only Fans.

Thank god, Shar types. I respect who you are 

Shar: In fact, I spend so much money on you because of it. 

Eddie rolls onto his other side, his mood souring. One of those trans fetishists, then. That's fine, as long as he's being respectful and paying... Even if it leaves an unpleasant taste in his mouth. 

Ah, a connoisseur! Well, I hope I'm your favorite tranny, then, he jokes. He waits for an answer, but it doesn't come for a long while, so he flips his phone screen down and turns away, hoping for sleep.

A response is waiting for him when he wakes up. 

Shar: I guess it sounded that way, but I'm not that kind of pervert. You're the only trans sex worker I follow, but not the only trans person I've sent money to.

Eddie sauntered to the bathroom, not taking his eyes off his phone. He wonders if continuing the conversation is even the right move. He's talked to one too many guys who thought sending him a dick pick was okay after ten minutes of small talk between a content creator and a fan.

But he's kind of curious. When he has money to spare, he sends some change to other trans folks to help out, because he knows how hard it is from his own experience. But why Shar, a seemingly loaded old guy, would spend his money on queers instead of, let's say, starving children?

PuppetOfMasters: So you're just an ally with cash? Or is there more to it? I'm curious.

He goes through his morning routine, washing his face, and brushing his teeth, not expecting Shar to get back to him any time soon. So he's surprised when he picks his phone back up and a response is waiting.

Shar: Long story short, I hope my father is rolling in his grave while I spend his inheritance on people he hated so much.

That's not what Eddie expected at all. 

PuppetOfMasters: So I'm a means of rebellion against your bigoted dead father? I'll take that. I hate rich assholes

Shar: Me too

They don't talk for the whole day after that, but when Eddie's done running errands and editing in the evening, he looks back at the letterman hanging on the door of his wardrobe. 

How is sending me your letterman an act of rebellion? he asks. Because he's a curious little shit. 

The response comes fast like the guy is glued to his Only Fans chat. Gross. Eddie wonders briefly if he's talking with other sex workers there.

Shar: A souvenir of his precious high school fetishized on a queer ssex worker? He'd die if he hadn't already

So it is a fetish thing! Eddie smiles triumphantly at his phone.

Shar: Okay, fine

Shar: Sticking it to my father is just a bonus for you being really hot. 

Shar: And I do love seeing you in my letterman, I've jerked off to it three times already

Shar: is that what you wanted to hear?

Eddie grins, rolling on his bed.

PuppetOfMasters: Yes 

Shar: So yeah, I'm an old man who peaked in high school, laugh it up

PuppetOfMasters: I'd rather you peaked in me

Shar: Insufferable

Shar: Menace

Shar: Yeah, I'd love that. A man can dream, right?

Eddie bites his lip. How far is too far? The guy seems genuine and after the amount of creeps that's been chatting him up, he thinks his creep radar is quite good. Tentatively, he starts typing.

PuppetOfMasters: I don't know. I think people would like seeing me get railed by an older guy

Shar: An old guy, you mean

Shar: You'd make a video with me?

PuppetOfMasters: I record most of the sex I have, yes

Shar: Huh. I've never seen one before, then

PuppetOfMasters: warm, warmer

Shar: ... There aren't any?

PuppetOfMasters: din ding ding! ya boy is a virgin

Shar: shit

Shar: fuck

Shar: that's so hot

Shar: you'd let me?

PuppetOfMasters: Would I let my best-paying subscriber be my first time on camera? Probably

Not necessarily to be released but he couldn't lose the possibility of such golden content in case it was watchable. 

Shar: I'd better keep my spot then. Just in case.

PuppetOfMasters: No worries, you seem the most trustworthy so far anyway.

But as he types it, a new notification appears. Shar sent him a hefty tip on one of his photos.

PuppetOfMasters: That's really not necessary

PuppetOfMasters: But I hope your father is kicking and screaming in his coffin

Shar: I fucking hope so

----

It takes Eddie another day to google Hawkins High's yearbook photos. He'd thought about it before but didn't want to break the bubble of anonymity between himself and his fan. But the thoughts of big hands on his hips, and beard rubbing against his neck, took root in his brain and were tainting his mind.

Not fully in tune with his body and distrustful of others, Eddie has been single for most of his life. And now his stupid horny brain was drooling at the thought of losing his virginity to a grandpa on the internet. 

Hoping it would help his thoughts calm down, he looks through the photos from the year 1986, in search of a Harrington. And he finds him.

Steve Harrington. Basketball captain and swim team co-captain. His hairdo was magnificent and his smile was self-confident. Eddie would hate him in high school. Should probably hate him now. So he expands his search further, beyond the Hawkins High memory lane.

He finds one single photo on a LinkedIn profile. 

The current Steve Harrington's hair is no less magnificent, just peppered with silver. He wears glasses now, which accentuate the line of his jaw and make his neatly trimmed facial hair pop out. He's wearing a yellow jacket and a white golf, which should be hideous but weirdly, works for him. Eddie doesn't get to see his eyes, unfortunately. The photo looks like a candid photo shoot take-out after someone told him a joke. His head is tilted down, eyes scrunched and lips pulled in a smile, as a bubbling laugh got immortalized on camera.

Eddie shouldn't be finding a sixty-year-old man this endearing. 

PuppetOfMasters: I like your LinkedIn photo

PuppetOfMasters: Well, I hope it's you. 

PuppetOfMasters: Steve, right?

He can't forget about this for the whole day, not as he budgets his income, and especially not when he records a short video jerking off in the shower. He tries not to look at his phone but it's his only one, so he does while trying to budget in a second one, just for sex work. Maybe then he wouldn't be feeling so insane about not getting a response from a stranger who is an old pervert spending loads of money on him. 

He tries to be normal when a chat notification finally pops up. 

Shar: If you saw the golf and yellow jacket photo, that's me

Shar: though please don't make me type my full name in here.

no worries, Eddie types back so fast he should be embarrassed. It's a good photo.

Shar: Thanks. My best friend took it 

PuppetOfMasters: Your friend has a good eye

Shar: I'll let her know

Shar: I'm surprised it took you this long to search me up

Eddie's surprised too. Usually, his curiosity would take over him sooner.

PuppetOfMasters: I tried not to pry. But I had to in case we were gonna meet up one day

Shar: So you were serious?

Shar: I've been wondering if you sweet-talk all your followers like that 

PuppetOfMasters: Only the ones that don't send me dick pics

Shar: I knew holding back would pay off

Eddie snorts at his phone. 

Though I might need one before we meet up, he types. Gotta know what I'm working with

Shar: Right. Of course

Shar: So how would that work?

Eddie hasn't thought about it this far.

PuppetOfMasters: I need to read about OF's policy on collabs. Never had to before, since I work solo. Would probably have to hire you, well, sign a commission/gig contract or something like that. So it's all legal and shit.

Shar, Steve, doesn't answer for a long while, and it might be the end of his devirginizing journey. Well, if the guy doesn't want to make this legal, put his name on some paperwork, then he isn't trustworthy, and that's the end of it.

It's half an hour later and Eddie's bitten all his nails off trying not to follow up with any messages and focus on anything else when an answer finally comes.

Shar: Sorry my friend was bothering me

Shar: this sounds more complicated than I anticipated. So I would be like, a co-creator, then?

PuppetOfMasters: Precisely

Shar: Holy shit okay

Shar: Thought I'd be you know, less involved

Though you could hit it and quit it, huh? Eddie scrunched his nose. What was he getting himself into? Gods.

Shar: If that's what you wanted I'd take it

Eddie shouldn't be blushing over this one. It's like he's throwing the man scraps and he's licking them up.

PuppetOfMasters: Simp

Shar: I am what I am

Shar: With that said, I'm willing to make it work. Do all the paperwork you need

PuppetOfMasters: Doing paperwork just to fuck me? so romantic

Shar: I suck at paperwork so my friend would be doing it anyway

Shar: If that's okay

PuppetOfMasters: I think it's best if someone looks it over, yeah

Eddie hesitates for a moment.

PuppetOfMasters: That friend doesn't happen to be your wife?

Fuck no, comes the immediate response

Shar: I'm perpetually single and she's as gay as they come. 

PuppetOfMasters: Good. Wouldn't want to be the other girl

Shar: If I had the chance you'd be the only one

PuppetOfMasters: Jesus.

Eddie squeezes his legs together unconsciously.

PuppetOfMasters: Stop sweet talking me, I've already agreed to fuck

Shar: But we haven't signed anything yet. Even then, I'll keep sweet-talking you. It's what you deserve. 

For the first time, Eddie thinks he might not survive their meeting. And not because of the possible killer scenario. Thankfully, Steve gets back to business talk.

Shar: How would this work, legal stuff aside? Do you script this?

PuppetOfMasters: Do I look like I script shit?

Shar: I'm not the one with Only Fans

PuppetOfMasters: Fair. I think we could just set up cameras and do whatever we feel like. Then decide together if the footage will be released or not. 

Shar: Sounds reasonable

Shar:When would you want to do this?

When?

Eddie hasn't thought that far. In fact, he felt like he hadn't been thinking for the past couple of days. 

I'm the sole god of my schedule so I'm open to anything, he types evasively.

Shar: I have some time off next month, could fly to wherever you need me

Next month seemed close. Extremely close. Or maybe it wasn't? He never worked with anyone before. Hell, he didn't even have that many friends to meet up with. 

Next month works I guess, he answers despite his nerves.

Shar: Wanna face time before we start the legal work?

His nerves escalate, making his mouth dry. He reminds himself he's done this before, he's on camera all the time. 

PuppetOfMasters: Like, right now?

Shar: Yeah?

PuppetOfMasters: Ok, give me five minutes.

Eddie shoots up, checks himself in the mirror, and finds a good angle for his phone to set up. He lowkey hopes Steve picks up with his dick in the frame so Eddie can block him with a clear conscience and forget about the whole thing. When six minutes from his last message pass, he hits 'call'.

"Hi," Eddie squeaks when the video connects. Steve Harrington's arms are in the frame, crossed on the desk, and toned where he's leaning on them.

"Hi," he greets him with a dazzling smile. 

It is the guy from the photo, so at least he's not being catfished. And he has none of the creepy simp energy Eddie feared. He's just... a guy. It's both a relief and a disappointment. 

"Well?" the guy asks.

"Well, what?" Eddie frowns. 

"Are you disappointed? Am I too old?"

Eddie looks at him properly. His hair is lighter on the sides, but not grey yet, and the video quality doesn't make any wrinkles stand out to him. Maybe some worry lines, crow's feet if he squints. He looks like he keeps in shape, too. Eddie wouldn't call him old. Mature, maybe. A DILF slowly transforming into a Silver Fox. 

"You look fine. Good. You look good. Attractive," Eddie fumbles with his words and barely stops himself from facepalming. This is why he mostly texts.

Steve smirks at him. And holy shit, a dude twice his age smirking at him shouldn't be doing things to his body.

"You sure? You're not gonna block me after we hang up, are you?"

Eddie shakes his head.

"I stand by our plans. You're passing my creep radar so far, but uh..." He scratches his cheek nervously. "I'd like to keep in touch in case, you know. A red flag pops up. I hope you get it."

Steve nods, his expression growing serious.

"Absolutely. We're strangers, after all."

"Yeah." Eddie nods, relieved. It would give him ample time and opportunities to back out.

On the screen, Steve leans more on his arms, closer to the camera. 

"So I think dick assessment is next on the checklist?"

Eddie might not even survive video calls with this guy, after all. 

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

Instant Gratification

Written alongside the amazingly talented @icebound-imagination

Made with encouragement from @puck-luck

Prompt: You need some instant gratification.

Warnings: thigh riding, unprotected sex, dominant guy submissive girl. Proceed with caution.

PART ONE       PART TWO       PART THREE      PART FOUR

PART ONE

You woke up slowly, without Quinn, which wasn’t unusual when he had an early morning skate. You’re someone who can’t just get up and get straight out of bed. You rolled over and grabbed your phone, deciding to scroll on Instagram for a little. You hadn’t been scrolling for long when you saw an edit of him from the playoffs back in May. It’s footage of him   standing  for the National anthem , his hair was longer then, hanging in his face, with his beard starting to grow out. Quinn looked so good, you were in awe of him sometimes. Thirst trap indeed, in a few quick seconds you were craving your boyfriend. You feel that all too familiar feeling in your stomach and you squeeze your thighs together to try to relieve some pressure. You look up at the time in the corner of your phone screen and realize that he might have just gotten home. Although you didn’t want to interrupt him during his post practice routine, you really needed him for some sexual gratification. 

You climbed out of bed and pulled on the shirt he had worn yesterday from the top of the hamper, lifting the collar to catch the scent of his cologne. The scent only made you want him more as you wandered out into the living room, glad to find Quinn sitting on the couch with breakfast.

“I’m glad you’re back, I really need you,” you told him. You bit your lip and messed with the hem of the shirt you had on. 

He shook his head, “Darling, I need to finish my breakfast. I burned a lot of calories this morning during skate.” 

You crossed your arms over your chest and raised a brow, “Okay. If you don’t satisfy me then I'm gonna let the shower head do the job.”  You turn to walk away and he grabs onto your wrist. The plate previously balanced on his thighs had been slid onto the coffee table and you’re pulled to his lap instead. The second your thighs make contact with his, you begin grinding down onto him, trying to get pressure against your core. You were nearly aching for him. “You’re such a fucking slut and I love you for it. It’s hardly  even 8 AM and you're already whimpering for me,” he marks his words with one hand going to your throat, the other grabbing and squeezing your ass. “What do you need baby, why don’t you use your words?”

“Ya ya you-“

“Hmm… that could mean a lot of things, baby girl. “

“Your cock.. I- I need to feel you inside me please huggy. I need you.” It was hard to speak when his lips were everywhere and his hands were being anything but gentle. Not to mention his mouth wandering down your neck. 

“I thought the shower head was good enough though, you didn’t need me then did you?”

“I said the shower head would do. I’d rather have you, but you were concerned with eating,” your hands go under his crewneck and you drag your nails down his chest, leaving red marks on his pale skin. 

He lifts the shirt you’re wearing up, prepared to remove your panties, but instead he discovers you don’t have any on. “God you’re such a fucking little slut aren’t you? No panties, hmm?”

“Why would I need panties when I need to be taken care of. Take care of me Quinn, please ”

[seventeenytiny]

Attention (Male Reader)

Smut MDNI

Chan gets stuck in a work call, but you have an idea of how to get his attention back on you. Word Count: 1081 Warnings: Smut, Oral (male receiving), slight pet play? (I'm probably missing a warning I'm sorry) Author's Note: This is just a copy of a fic I originally posted but edited it to focus on a male reader. I realized this one would be pretty easy to make for a male reader so why not do it? Hope ya'll like it :) Female version: Here

Chan snuggled beside you on the couch, relieved to finally spend time with you after an exhausting workday. Long workdays have led to both of you longing for each other's touch; all you want to do is be held. The gentle pitter-patter of rain outside added to your coziness. Smiling to yourself as you hold onto him, you take in the sweet scent of his cologne. You were enjoying yourself so very much. That was until you heard the awful sound of his phone ringing. Chan sighs, pulling away from you. "I'm so sorry, angel. I have to take this call. I'll try to be fast."

You pout to yourself as he leaves, wondering how long that phone call could last. You lean back into the couch, pulling out your phone. Quickly becoming bored with it, you cycle through the same three apps repeatedly. Your attention shifts from your phone to Chan, who paces back and forth through your apartment. The gray sweatpants he's wearing look a little too good. That's when you get the sinfully brilliant idea of how to get Chan's attention back on you.

Content with your plan, you hop off the couch and make your way toward Chan. Placing your hands on his waist, you interrupt his pacing. His face twists in confusion, but he quickly shakes it off and returns to his conversation. You give him a peck on the cheek before sliding down to your knees in front of him, your hands staying right on his hips, fingers playing with his waistband.

Chan almost chokes mid-conversation, but he catches himself and returns to whatever he was talking about. He glares down at you, his eyes dark and warning, but showing no signs of telling you to stop. You know you'll be punished later for what you're about to do, but perhaps the benefits outweigh the risks. You smile innocently at him before continuing with your plan.

He's hard already, the bulge in his sweatpants tells you all you need to know. You have this man trained for you; every time he sees you on your knees, his body reacts before his brain. You rub his hard-on through his pants, your mouth already starting to water from the anticipation. The dark spot of precum begins to show through his sweatpants, you rub him one more time before pulling his pants down. To your surprise, Chan had decided to forgo underwear, his cock springing up in your face, tip red and leaking.

You take his member in your hand, giving it a couple slow pumps. Chan's free hand takes hold of your hair, gripping it harder as you tease him. You kiss his tip and then trail down his shaft, not wanting to indulge him just yet. He sighs; perhaps it was in response to his phone conversation, perhaps it wasn't. You return to his tip, giving it kitten licks, the salty taste of precum coating your tongue.

That's when Chan decides he's had enough of your games. His hand moves to the back of your head, roughly pushing his cock into your mouth. You gag quite loudly, enough to make the person on the phone call question what the sound was.

Chan clears his throat. "Ah don't worry Sir," he says. "It's just my friend's dog that I'm watching. He's usually a very good boy, I guess today he's just a little antsy." He pulls the phone away from his face while patting your head, "Why don't you be a good boy and be quiet while Daddy's on the phone?" You whimper around his cock in response before he continues on with his call.

Cautiously, you proceed back to what you were doing. You bob your head on his cock, your hand pumping what you can't fit in your mouth. His tip hits the back of your throat; he's deliciously large, not just in length but girth. You keep up a good pace, careful not to gag or make any noise. Chan's hand moves to cup your cheek, his touch shockingly soft and tender. However, that changes abruptly as he grabs your face and began to face fuck you. His pace was fast and unforgiving, your jaw becoming sore, drool dripping down your chin.

You know Chan would never give you more than you could handle, so you take his fast pace the best you can, slightly gagging with each thrust. Chan clears his throat before apologizing back into the speaker, "Sorry, Sir. this dog won't stop whimpering. I think he's hungry, do you mind if I put you on hold real quick while I feed him?"

You don't hear the man's reply but suddenly Chan's attention turns to you. "You're such a fucking brat you know that? You can't even wait for me to finish this call, so you just decide to help yourself. Such a whore," He emphasizes his words with his thrusts, "You're going to regret what you're doing once I finish this call."

His cock twitches in your mouth, you know he won't last much longer. "I'm going to return to my call and you're going to finish me off like a good boy. I want you to swallow every last drop okay?"

You mumble in reply, hearing him return to his call. He slows down his thrust, letting you regain control. You work what doesn't fit in your mouth with your hands, expertly pumping him. Your tongue moved up and down his shaft before you fully took him in again. You feel him twitch again, his grip on your hair tight, you know he's about to cum. A slight moan comes out of him as you feel him release into your mouth. You swallow every last drop of his warm cum, not letting any go to waste as demanded.

You thoroughly clean him off before releasing his cock from your mouth. Right at that moment, you hear him finish up his call with a quick 'goodbye'.

Chan helps you back up to your feet, holding onto your unsteady body. "You know you're in trouble, don't you, baby boy?"

You nod.

"But... let's save your punishment for another day. Will you let me take care of you right now?" His hand reaches down to palm your hard-on. "You're so hard right now, it's my turn to taste you."

You kiss him on the lips, conveying your answer. He picks you up off your feet, whisking you away to the bedroom.

[anchorandrope]

Hi I'm Brazilian and I saw your post about us joining and thank you 🫶🏻 I joined yesterday and I'm really lost. Could you recommend me blogs? hld exists here? Are any other updates accounts? other Brazilian larries or whatever, please I need people to follow I'm desperate 😭

hi bby!! welcome to this multiverse of madness, you will be gay here.

UAs: hldailyupdate, dailytomlinson, stylesnews - stylesarchive, hlupdate are inactive now, check them for archive purposes!

Fashion archives: fashionlouist - harryfashionarchive and louisfashionarchive are inactive now as well

Fics: this answer contains a lot

For creators: hljournal, hlcreators, hltracks

Pics & edits: tomlinsonedits, styles-edits - ltpics and hspics are also inactive rn

Gifs: stylinsongifs, lwt-gifs, hes-gifs, also inactive rn - but here are some fan blogs that make amazing gifs (remember to support their work by reblogging and not only liking! likes don't help to boost content here):

@2tiedships2 melanie is historically our gif maker, she has been doing lords work for a damn long time here, i think we all collectively thank her for her service 🫡

@bilouistomlinson logan changes his url a lot but his our purple buddy here so you will always recognise them by their icon 💜 he absolutely adores louis so if you wanna stand by your screen seeing gifs of louis being hot: their blog is a must on your list!

@delicatepointofview ingrid makes gifs with incredible quality, i sometimes find out louis appeared because i see one of her gif set before an UA, really. we appreciate the hard work 🩷

@miss-styles i think lei is not currently making gifs but her work is awesome and if you like harry you can spend ours on her tag 🕺🏻

@creulsummer lorna has plenty of gifs of different stuff, i adore her fall vibes 🍂 her aesthetic is always pleasant to see

okay now, (more) blog recommendations!! even though i may not talk to everyone here, i do love seeing them on my dash so here is a list of larries on my phone: @thechavier @robinniko @kiwikiwiandkiwi @quickpauseinconversations @larryisinlove @28cum @louisarmpits @zouisexo @wdbhgdotmp3 @louisgrayhairs @tommos @louispalooza @daisiesonafield-blog @skepticalarrie @killmymind @nunchailou @braverytattoos @thebirdtatts @handgf @fishandfrog @whatifai @itsnotreal @ishipmutualrespect @stylinsuns @harrylouis @whenyouvequitefinished @sunkissedlouis @farawaytattoo @hs1 @allmylouv @yourgoldenview @thewhitecitrus @bluewinnerangel - im sure im forgetting a lot of people, so in advance im extremely sorry my beloved moots. also feel free to tag your fave blogs in the comments or rb and i'll rb again so new accs can follow them <3

we are all kinda messy and gay, we also tend to vote for "nuanced answer/im bald/secret third option" in every poll so if you don't like that maybe consider moving to threads. its like twitter (instagram's version). the app looks like a social experiment and if the news are late to twitter, i can't imagine how late they are there so good luck

also, i cannot end this blog rec with our bestie <3 shout out to lthqofficial who made a blog here, checked us out for 3 days and left. they were like: nope! bye!! 👋🏻

anyway hope this has helped ❤️‍🩹

[boizandgurlzinthehouse]

𝐍𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎'𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

nijiro murakami x fem!reader ; instagram au!!

tw: make out session, dirty talk (i don’t what came over me it’s just felt right sorry 😭😭)

pov: since nijiro doesn't post anything on his ig account, you're the one who leaks pictures about him from yours. fans go crazy every time you post anything, scrolling through your pictures, they search for even a glimpse of nijiro in the background or when you post a silly picture about him. you are beautiful too, they know this, because why wouldn't nijiro date a pretty girl and love her with all of his heart? you two complete each other so perfectly, it's an extra pleasure if you leak some nijiro content!!

"are you gonna post that too?" nijiro asks as you lay on his chest, scrolling through your phone that is full of photos about him.

"why? i think it's cute." you replied as he stroked your waist. you two were in tokyo, and after he got home after shooting the new season of alice in borderland, a heated makeout-session eased his mind, but you still felt the semi hard-on under your thigh.

"you don't need to raid your account with me. i know you are doing this for my fans too." furrowing your eyebrows, you made a fake gasp.

"no, i'm not!" then sighing, dropping down your phone, you kissed his neck. "i'm sorry 'jiro... just can't get enough from you. i want everybody to see how you really are." you muttered into his chest as he tiled both of you on your sides.

"that's okay. just don't leak the most important things about us." he said, making you laugh as he kissed down on your neck, to your shoulders. you were in for a session again, but you wanted more, and you knew he wanted too. and maybe, turning on the voice record, it could be the next tape in the hidden map of the most important things on your phone.

"our sex tapes are our sex tapes. and you... "you began to slip down with your hands on his lips and his chest, "...and your body..." down to the waistband of his boxer, "...and your everything is also mine. just as i'm yours." you whispered as the two of you kissed. nijiro took away your hand with his, sipping the other to open your bralette behind your back.

"did you said this intentionally to fire me up and make love to you all night?" he asked with a hoarse voice, turning you on your back, pushing his thigh in between yours, making you gasp and low-key grind down to it.

"yeah, maybe i did it." you whined as he get down to your abdomen, stroking your fingers between his locks, waiting to ease the built up tension between your legs, the phone and the posts long forgotten.

"good girl", nijiro's voices were muffled by the skin on your thigh, and you let yourself gasp into the night from the pleasure he gave you.

and nijiro? since you're his girlfriend, his fans makes fan accounts about you too, hyping you up and encouraging you to be a model, making edits about you two, but mainly you. he doesn't tell you, but he always looks about these pages, and he playfully rolls his eyes from time to time, as you grin, while showing him tweets about his account as he liked these videos and edits. although he doesn't follow anyone, after a long time, he gets one followed account. yours. isn't he cute?

itsjusty/n's story

itsjusty/n

itsjusty/n birthday boy!! @njr_mk

itsjusty/n

itsjusty/n finally in tokyo again... mr. nijiro the explorer was sure that he knows the way, but guess who got lost three times on the airport 🤧

itsjusty/n

itsjusty/n back in kyoto, i took like 600 pictures (gonna dump it), while that’s the only two he got 🥹

itsjusty/n’s story

itsjusty/n

itsjusty/n arriving home at 4am, sleeping like babies 😴🛌

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Everyone Else Is No.2 {One-Shot}***

Lewis Hamilton x Attorney Friend Reader

Warning: Cursing, NSFW, Mature 18+ Content, Angst, PLENTY OF WORDS, DIALOGUE HEAVY

Words: 15.2k

Summary: Again, nah.

Note: Inspired by that old August Alsina song "Kissing on My Tattoos". So sorry for how long it is and for the long sentences toward the end, it couldn't be any other way. Forgive the weird spacing throughout, Tumblr has a 1,000 block limit per post, and guess who reached it before correcting the spacing.

Note II: Really interested in hearing what you guys think about this one. Let me know.

As always, thank you guys for reading! I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this.

If you did enjoy this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

-Y/N-

"You're beautiful you know that right?"

You smiled and took a sip of your drink.

"Thanks."

The man sitting across from you, Darius, nodded and before he looked down to his plate you caught his eyes drop to your cleavage. Of course, you thought. This was your 2nd date with him. The first went smoothly though you'd went with little to no expectations for it to be so. Tonight, he said the right things, did the right things, and was the perfect gentleman.

He'd even chosen a great restaurant. The ambiance was perfect for a second date. So far you had only counted 2 things that were less than satisfactory, everything was on point. He was so on point that you wondered if he was acting and not being his genuine self.

You hated the dating scene. Everyone held their cards too close to their chest. No one was ever real about anything. Everyone liked to waste people's time all in the name of fun and sex. These days you only treated dating as a pastime and a way to relieve stress after long hours of working on briefs and reviewing case files.

"A woman with your track record in law. Wheeew. Was it hard?"

You shrugged then wiped the corner of your mouth, "It definitely wasn't easy. I still remember the sleepless nights, and times when I only had 1 meal a day. My parents still remember not seeing me for 3 months because of the bar and my first major case that came nearly right behind the other. They won't let me forget it."

"It looks like it paid off. You're on the partner track. Shit, you'd be the first woman under 35 to make that happen at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw," Darius said.

You bristled, but politely smiled and took another sip of your wine.

"I'm sorry I don’t mean to make this weird I'm just in awe of you."

You studied him for a few moments but found no lie. You could always tell a lie. No matter what the case, no matter who it was. It was your secret weapon and it served you well as a lawyer.

"Thank you, but enough about me. What about you? Tell me about Darius Forrester."

He smiled, licked his lips then looked you directly in the eye.

"I'm pretty much a what you see you get kind of guy. I've been at Berry & Clark for the last 6 years as a criminal attorney. The work is challenging but I do alright for myself.

You nodded. He did. From what you heard his win ratio was nearly 92% and he took upstanding cases. He was a good attorney. Normally you wouldn’t shit where you ate because mess was not your style. You did not want to walk into a courtroom or boardroom and see the opposing counsel was an ex. That one thing gave you nightmares.

So dating lawyers was out of the question. You dipped in every other career field, playing it safe. The further they were from a law career the better. However, after a conversation with your other lawyer girlfriends about limiting oneself in the already limited dating pool, something clicked, and you decided to try it once but only if they weren't in your firm. Darius was your first attempt.

As he continued to tell you facts about himself you listened, but he didn't have your full attention. There was another person who held your attention, a person who though was usually out of sight was never really out of mind.

You heard your phone sound from your clutch resting on the table and both your eyes shot to it. Darius spoke before you moved.

"Go ahead please."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm an attorney as well, Y/N I know you come attached to it."

You smiled, held up your finger to him silently promising it would be quick, then took your phone in hand. You expected it to be Kemi, your paralegal, with files you were expecting, but it wasn't her name on your screen.

MSG Lewis: What're you doing tonight? Going over an endless to-do list of contracts and briefs?

You smirked.

MSG: Not even close.

MSG Lewis: Wow did someone finally decide to live a little and cut loose?

MSG: This sounds an awful lot like the pot calling the kettle black.

MSG Lewis: Plead the 5th.

MSG: The Lewis Hamilton out maneuvered. Say it ain't so.

MSG: I'm close to your place. Just got back in town. Can you be ready in 10?

Your eyes flitted to Darius across from you who was taking the time to check his messages as well. You looked over him slowly, noting again how great he looked in his suit and how you liked the effort he had put in the last 2 dates down to the flowers he brought you and the activities you'd done. Things could progress if you chose to allow them to.

MSG Lewis: Is that a no?

MSG: I'm not home.

MSG Lewis: Okay. Where you at, the office? I can come pick you up.

MSG: I'm not at the office. I'm actually on a date.

You waited a few seconds, but he didn’t reply. Why didn't he reply?

"Everything ok?"

Caught off guard, you looked back up to Darius whose eyes were already on you. His brows were knitted with concern.

"Uh--yeah. I uh--I think so."

"A case?"

You thought about it and technically he was right. You were Lewis' entertainment lawyer. You were his personal attorney who reviewed the contracts after the company attorney said they had. You gave it to him between the eyes, never sugarcoating, and told him what was made with his best interest and what was made to capitalize off of him. However, when your services weren’t needed you were friends. Had been for practically a decade now.

Sometimes you couldn’t believe you’d known each other that long. You’d known him since he was just another F1 driver rather than the greatest. He knew you when you were going through school always on an empty tank all in the hopes of rising above the tax bracket you were born into. A decade later and he was dominating F1 and you’d more than risen yourself several levels past the tax bracket you’d been born into.

You were on the partner track at one of the largest firms in Europe. You brought in more revenue than most of the attorneys at the firm thanks to your high-class clientele. You'd both worked your asses off to get to this level and enjoyed the spoils of your labor often. You clubbed together, went to dinner, and sometimes did the vacation vibe together. You enjoyed one another’s company.  

"A client."

"Oh. Everything cool or---," Darius said.

Another message came in just then. "Everything is cool."

Darius smiled. "Good. I'll be right back, men’s room."

"Yeah."

Darius stood then walked off leaving you with the perfect opportunity to check your phone.

MSG Lewis: Is that right?

MSG: Yeah. 2nd date. Well technically 3rd if you can have 2 dates in one day.

MSG Lewis: Cool. Is it going well?

MSG: Yeah. He's made it this far.

MSG Lewis: Cool.

MSG: When he drops me home Ill text you. Come get me then.

Several moments passed before he replied. Again, you wondered why.

MSG Lewis: Cool.

The remainder of dinner you were distracted. Darius played all his cards right, even scoring himself the green light on a little hand-holding action. You had to admit he was smooth. When he pulled up to your condo building he walked you to your door then went in for a kiss. You hadn’t expected it, but rather than pull away, you allowed it to play out. It wasn’t a bad kiss. He hadn’t been too overzealous, only slipped you a little tongue, and had kept his hands respectful. All in all, for a first kiss it was a solid 8.

With a promise to call to set date number 4 sometime next week, you went inside and allowed yourself to come down. The dating scene was not something you enjoyed often. You always felt like you were performing, like men wanted a certain kind of woman, the perfect woman who they could prance around on their arm to make other men envious and that took its toll.

You never felt you had to perform with Lewis. Never felt like he wanted the perfect you. He made fun of you whenever you were perfectly put together for work meetings and said many times he liked you out of the makeup and heels. After another sigh, you took your phone out and texted him.

~~~~~~

-Lewis-

The ceiling looked like every other ceiling he’d ever seen but that didn’t stop him from focusing most of his attention on it like it was the most interesting piece of construction ever. His eyes should have been focused elsewhere but they weren’t. A loud 'slurp' echoed in the mostly quiet room reminding him again that he wasn’t alone.

"Mm. Why are you so distracted tonight, bae?"

Julissa's voice was as smooth as honey and as seductive as ever. He lowered his eyes to where she was kneeling between his legs and took her in. Her lips and chin were wet as she gave him her bedroom eyes. This was not the first time between them. Usually, it would work but not tonight. Tonight he was struggling to even keep his head in the room.

He watched her tip her tongue out and lick from the base of his dick to the glistening tip. Once there she swirled her tongue around him then sucked his head into her mouth. He’d have to be dead for it not to feel nice but that’s all it was--nice.

He sighed then brought his attention back to the ceiling. "Work."

"Aw babe, when you’re with me work should be the last thing on your mind," Julissa said before lowering her mouth down his shaft. When he felt her tonsils he groaned. His body wanted to like this wanted to give her the reaction she was working so hard for, but something was holding him back. Julissa's mouth bobbed up and down his cock sucking and slurping to her heart’s content trying to get him off, but he knew she had her work cut out for her.

He thought back to your text from 2 hours ago. You were on a date. Well shit, he hadn’t seen that coming. That was the last thing he had expected you to be doing tonight. It wasn’t because you weren’t desirable, or he thought no man would want you. For fuck's sake, you were beyond desirable, you were gorgeous and so damn intelligent. He couldn’t figure out which of those made you more beautiful, your looks or your brains. You also worked hard to be where you were, and you deserved all the praise and attention you got wherever you went.

However, sometimes he wished you got a little less male attention--x that, a lot less male attention. He sighed again. This had been going on for 10 years now. Your friendship had only strengthened but along with a strengthening friendship came a lot of other stuff. Stuff like him taking notice of the fullness of your hips or being tempted to peek when you’d been changing in the backseat of his car, or being painfully aware of how your breasts felt against his chest when you hugged.

That coupled with things he had picked up from you, made the unspoken and ignored things that much more—confusing. There were times when the way you stared at him when you thought he wasn’t looking spoke volumes or the way your hand always lingered on him for a few seconds longer than necessary but not long enough for it to be inappropriate, or the time you'd fallen asleep together on the couch and he'd woken to you wrapped around him using him as your personal body pillow and mumbling his name in your sleep.

Yeah, there was a lot of extra stuff, stuff neither of you ever addressed. The only ones who assessed it were his friends. Miles told him on several occasions that he should be careful before he or you fucked around, and someone ended up hurt. That stuck with him, but not in the way Miles had probably meant it. Rather than taking it the way Miles meant, he used it as a means to keep himself in check, a form of prevention from him crossing the line. He knew if he did, neither of you would be able to go back. It would be impossible and was one fuck up worth a decades-long friendship?

So friends were where you stayed until he added another facet--professional. Years passed, dates passed, flings, non-labeled encounters on both your parts passed and through it all your friendship remained, and nothing changed. Except today there was even more extra stuff.

The feel of Julissa’s lips wrapped around his balls sent his hips jerking upward as a curse left his lips. Julissa moaned and giggled.

“Daddy likes that?”

He knew how he would like it more. As quickly as he revved to that thought he steered away from it. That was when his phone sounded.

MSG Y/N: I’m home. Whatdaya you wanna do? Should I change?

His eye caught the time. 1am. Almost 3 hours from your last text and you were only now getting home. Clenching his jaw he took a deep breath. He had no right to be mad or annoyed right now. He knew where this was coming from. You’d been on a date, and you said it was going well. A date going well had a chance of making it upstairs. He closed his eyes squeezing them tightly. He hoped to God that you hadn’t just gotten it in.

MSG Y/N: Hello?

MSG: You don’t have to change. How about some treats and a view?

MSG Y/N: Okay. Still 10?

MSG: Make it 15.

Pulling himself up he reached down to stop Julissa. She looked confused.

“I gotta go J.”

Now she looked even more confused. He didn’t owe her an explanation, that’s not how this worked between them.

“With your dick out?”

He scoffed then fixed himself as he stood.

“Lewis this’s never happened before. Are--,” she began before he cut her off.

“All good, just—not in the mood I guess.”

She looked offended now. “I’m sorry J. We’ll talk.”

He walked to the door then left her apartment without a glance back. He didn’t feel any way about it because both of them knew what their relationship was and wasn’t. She’d agreed. Once he was in his car, he zipped through the London streets maneuvering the quickest route to your place. Thanks to the time it was an easy drive with minimal traffic. 15 minutes on the dot he swerved around to the front of your luxury condo building then sent you a text letting you know he was there.

A few minutes later, he peeped you from the corner of his eye. You walked off the elevator in a short and tight black dress, impossibly high strappy black heels, and a flowy robe-like jacket that danced behind you as you walked.

“Fuck.”

You were beautiful. Just then the thought that you’d gone on a date dressed like this rubbed him wrong. Some other man had seen this view, a view you gave willingly. Clenching his jaw, he looked through his windshield as he tried to push all those thoughts—all that other stuff to the side as he’d done countless times before. He looked back just in time to see you open the door of his car then climb in. His eyes dropped to your legs but seconds later he corrected that.

“Hi!”

Your smile was bright as if you really were as happy to see him as your voice indicated.

“Hey.”

You reached over and pressed your cheek to his for a bougie kiss. The only thing he could think was that you smelled like a treat all by yourself.

“How are you?”

“Good. You?”

“Good. Wow, what’s it been? 2 months?”

He shrugged as he shifted gears and took off. “Something like that.”

“Mercedes sure knows how to keep you busy,” you teased.

He tried to focus on the road but from his peripheral, he could see you crossing your legs displaying even more skin.

“What were you doing? You smell like fruits.”

He chastised himself because he hadn’t done a bit of cleaning up before he came. His only thought was you. Julissa’s fruity lip gloss still stained his dick that he couldn’t manage to get hard for her.

“Nowhere special. Just kickin’ it.”

You didn’t press further which said you knew just what he was doing. He clenched his jaw again, this time annoyed with himself. As he drove to the dessert place you told him about what was going on in your life while he shared some bits of his with you. Like always conversation flowed like a calm river. It was something he loved. It didn’t take long for him to pull up to the drive-thru of the vegan dessert shop. When it was his turn at the window he tipped his hat lower and left the ordering to you.

You ordered damn near everything on the menu. You didn’t care if it was cake, cupcake, ice cream, brownie, or whipped cream. You ordered at least 2 of everything. It took the staff a good 5 minutes to prepare it all and when he loaded them in the backseat it was completely filled. When he looked at you with an “are you serious right now” look, all you did was giggle. Fuck, he thought. There went all that extra stuff again.

“There is no way we can finish all this,” he said looking at the bags they’d moved to the front since parking at their destination.

“Speak for yourself. I always have room for sugar, sugar.”

He snorted then shook his head. “Mad whack.”

Your jaw dropped as you gaped at him, and you looked too fucking adorable. You sifted through the bags until you found the dessert you wanted—the vanilla bean cheesecake. Your eyes lit up as you gawked at the large slice that was topped with white chocolate shavings. “It's so pretty,” you gushed.

He watched you snap picture after picture of the treat before you took your first forkful. When you did, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you let out a completely indulgent, hearty, and dick-hardening moan. The fuck, he thought as his dick spasmed to life. Quickly he moved one of the bags to his lap and looked out the window.

“This is so good,” you obliviously said still munching on cake.

He pulled out the vegan chocolate truffle cake and took a bite. It too was good.

“That looks good. Is it?”

“Try it,” he said holding out a forkful to your mouth.

You paused for a split second then cut off a piece of your cheesecake before you held your fork to his mouth.

“You try too.”

The image that came to mind was that of a new husband and wife feeding each other wedding cake and with it, his throat went dry. He knew if he tried to speak he’d sound like a pre-pubescent boy, so he wrapped his lips around your fork taking the piece of cake then fed you his. Your eyes lingered on one another for a few moments nut when you moaned again his dick spasmed again. with that he turned his head so fast that he was surprised he hadn’t snapped his own neck in the process.

“So good,” you repeated.

The two of you sat there commenting on the desserts you went through in record time. He didn’t indulge in sweets often but when he did he found it was usually with your sugar-addicted ass. You said there were 4 things in life you would never give up, sugar, your favorite perfume, your favorite underwear set, and sex. He believed you on all points. When there were only a few pieces of cake left the silence in the car stretched.

“So—a date huh.”

“A date.”

“I thought you gave up dating.”

You took a deep breath then slowly released it before turning your body at an angle facing him. The hem of your dress hiked a little higher and he forced himself to look away.

“I did. Then I got bored and he asked.”

“What does he do?”

You didn’t answer automatically, instead, you took another forkful or 2 of cake, then you spoke.

“He’s an attorney.”

“I thought you didn’t date attorneys.”

“I don’t but me and the girls were talking, and it clicked that by x-ing out a whole career field greatly decreased me finding someone who could stick around.”

He paused. Stick around? This was new.

“Stick around? Are you—are you looking for something—serious?”

You took a beat then shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought the other day, I have everything I have ever wanted. I am on this partner track, I make very high 6 figures, I have a great condo, my mental health is amazing, I have no debt, no baby daddies or drama, I—I’m kinda a catch but I go to sleep alone 98% of my nights. I come home to an empty place, I have no meaningful text exchanges, there is—nothing fulfilling in my life. I began to wonder if it was time to change all of that last bit.”

Silence stretched again as he thought over your words while studying you. This was the first time he’d heard you speak like this. Usually, you changed the subject or downplayed having any other thoughts than fun, sex, and work. Now hearing the vulnerability in your voice he knew you’d come to a point where all of this, intention-free dating, pastime sex, stress-busting flirting and all the meaningless interactions were unfulfilling and empty. You wanted more, you wanted love, a life, a husband, kids, vacation homes, and retirement funds, you wanted the quintessential definition of it all. He also noted you now found everything he was currently partaking in meaningless and unfulfilling.

Dropping his head, he stabbed the cake still in his hands. The more puncture holes it picked up the less and less he wanted it.

“Fuck, maybe I’m just bored and need a really, really, good fuck.”

He snorted but it was humorless.

“Don’t downplay what you feel, Y/N. Don’t—make what you feel insignificant, so you feel less vulnerable. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s you and me here.”

“It’s just—you—I know those are things you don’t necessarily want and you’re happy with the--.”

“Who said I don’t want those things?”

His tone was sharp and defensive though he hadn’t meant for it to be.

“Uh—you did.”

“No. I said it’s not something I can afford right now with my schedule and my contract extension. I didn’t say I never wanted it.”

You looked away from him to out the window. “Yeah, but your actions say a lot different,” you mumble.

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Y/N, look at me. What does that mean?”

You sat quietly for a few moments then just when he was about to ask again you blurted.

“There is a difference between I don’t want it now and I don’t want it ever. Someone who wants it someday would leave themselves open to it rather than boxing every interaction they have into--other things.”

“What if I don’t want to open myself to it?”

“That’s clear Lew.”

“No. You don’t get it. What if I don’t want to open myself to it because I don’t want to find the perfect thing—the perfect woman and then be fucked because it’s too soon and too hard to keep her in my world to wait until I can make those commitments because my world is fucked—I’m fucked because I want the world and will actually keep going until I get it anyone else be damned.”

He could feel your eyes on him, and it was his turn to feel vulnerable and exposed.

“You think because you put everyone in one box it stops what’s meant to be from—being?”

He glanced at you with a pained expression, he knew it. He was actually feeling pain.

“Also—you’re not fucked because you want the world. I want the fucking world. Am I fucked?”

“To be determined.”

You both busted out laughing then. You laughed for a good minute then smiled as it tapered off.

“Aren’t you the tiniest bit lonely in the other side of your life—away from F1?”

He didn’t need to think about that. He knew the answer, but he didn’t want to tell you. The facts were that he was lonely more times than not. That was when he called someone to come distract him or make him feel good. He’d become an expert in the art of distraction. In his life, he only had time and the capacity for low stress and no mess. He had enough of both already.

He felt your hand creep into his and squeeze gently. Suddenly, there was all this other stuff again. The feel of your smaller hand in his larger one was something he really liked. Usually, when either of you took the other’s hand it was in passing or for a second, but the moment lingered and stretched, and still you kept your hand in his swirling your fingers against his palm and other fingers. He liked this too much.

“You can tell me. I won’t judge you. In fact—I’m lonely.”

His eyes slipped to you. Your head was down staring at your hands. It had now moved to trace the tattoos on his hand with the point of your nail as if his flesh were an adult coloring book. He watched you trace the rose on his pinky, then the planets on his ring finger. When you got to the lined arrow down his middle, he was having trouble swallowing again. Slowly, you traced the spaceship then went up across the sword until you reached his wrist.

He didn’t know if there was rhyme or reason to your movements or if you were just absently doing it. Goosebumps peppered his skin when you went up his forearm. He looked at you just before your eyes met his.

“You are?”

You nodded. “I am,” you whispered.

The air was on but inside the car easily felt like a sweltering 99 degrees. He didn’t know if it was from your touch or if it was the shift in the air between you. Did you notice it too?

“I think it’s okay to be lonely especially looking at how we live. We’re always working, always pushing ourselves to and through glass ceilings and when we do there is no one really there to share it with, not really, not in the way that fulfills,” you said.

Your face was closer to his now. Had he moved closer or was it you? Your eyes met again, and the temperature kicked up again. Fuck, he thought as his dick recklessly spasmed, begging for attention.

“I’m never lonely with you,” he said before his brain could stop his mouth.

A small smile lit your face, “Me too. Never with you.”

The smile slipped. “Well—not always.”

He turned to you more now, curiosity filling him. “What do you mean?”

You stayed quiet for a few moments but kept tracing his skin with your nail.

“There are times I can’t—guess what you’re thinking. Times I can’t—figure you out.”

“Then ask me.”

“Would you really tell me?”

He leaned closer. “I’d tell you anything.”

You searched his eyes, but you didn’t move back.

“Anything?”

He nodded slowly. His head felt hazy like you had him under some sort of spell with nothing more than your presence and the tip of your finger and all he truly wanted was to touch you in return. So he did. Reaching across to your exposed knee, he circled his finger around the smooth skin there. You sucked in a breath the moment his finger touched you and that one action nearly had him pulling you across the partition right onto his lap. Nearly.

So there on a hill that overlooked London, in his car, sitting near enough to a lone road light, you trailed your finger across his forearm while he did the same to your knee. The low light that illuminated the car bathed your skin in amber making him feel like you were on a whole different plane of existence rather than this real proven and tangible one. Your eyes held him in place to the point where he felt like he couldn’t move though he wanted to.

Without even realizing it you were mere inches from him. In fact, you were so close he could make out the hidden colors in your eyes, so close he could smell the fragrance on your skin that went deeper than perfume. This was your essence and by God he was intoxicated. Unable to stop himself, he inched his hand higher gripping your inner thigh. A soft moan fell from your lips and that was all it took for him to press his forehead to yours like the sound was tethered to his very core.

“Y/N,” he groaned.

The sheer might it was taking to keep himself restrained was becoming too much. At this point, it wouldn’t take much for him to abandon those restraints and give in.

“Lewis,” you whispered.

Your voice was raspy and dripping with what he dared label as desire. Fuck, he thought as he squeezed your thigh. He was so close, mere inches and it wouldn’t take much to close the gap between his fingers and your core but still, he fought himself. He was so wrapped up in his own battle for control within himself that he didn’t even realize when your hand rested on his upper thigh. You were dangerously close to kicking the lid off the box of other stuff that he’d worked years to keep shut. Half of him silently begged for you to keep going and kick it off so everything would be out in the open and it would be do or die but the other half of him hesitated still. The unknown was a powerful and sobering drug.

Your hand inched higher, then closer to what was the rock-hard physical evidence that deep down, now closer to the surface than ever before, he felt more, wanted more than what was. He wanted more than he could possibly afford. Still, his hand persisted, it inched higher making your hips jerk forward. The knowledge that he’d hit a sensitive spot sent his system into overdrive making a deep moan from his lips fill the car.

On cue in response, your legs opened a few inches more, making way for his hand. Jesus Christ he thought. There was his consent, you wanted him as he wanted you. There would be nothing wrong with him slipping his fingers underneath whatever underwear you wore. Fuck, he hoped they were lacy and strappy. There would be nothing wrong with him letting your hand slide to the aching dick straining against his pants begging for your attention. Shit, he bet your hands would feel incredible wrapped around him. There would be nothing wrong with him moving closer and finally claiming your lips as his. Damn, he just knew they were as sweet as they looked, that they felt amazing. There would be nothing wrong with him pulling your body against his for more than a clothed hug. There would be nothing wrong with him cupping your breasts and swirling his thumb across your nipple just to see the reaction it elicited. God damn it, he knew your moans would destroy him. There would be nothing wrong with him finally learning what you tasted like, nothing wrong with him finally smearing your wetness across his lips. Holy fuck, he knew you had to taste like pure sugar and cream.

His cock spasmed again then your hand made the move for him. In the same breath with his eyes squeezed tight, he lurched for your hand, gripping you by your wrist stopping you just before you touched him. As he did that his jaw clenched, the only thing he could do to stifle the moan at the tip of his tongue. It came out as a half groan and growl instead. The strangled whine that left you said you liked it, and he knew he had to end this here. It took him some time to find the smallest bit of control to open his eyes, but he didn’t possess enough control to look at you. There was no way he could.

“I’ll take you home,” he said, voice low and so close to a whisper.

He tried to keep the longing, regret, and hope from it. Slowly he removed his hand from your thigh hoping with everything in him that you grabbed it and nudged it higher. You didn’t though, so he turned forward readying himself to drive. You didn’t move for several long moments; you remained there half facing him with your thighs still tempting him to go back and take things further. With his hands on the steering wheel, he trained his eyes forward. He could feel all the antsy energy bouncing off every cell of his body, he could feel all the need in him wreaking havoc on him telling him to stop being a pussy and do what he really wanted to, say what he wanted to, take what he wanted.

His hands squeezed so tightly that the creaking of the leather echoed in the intense silence in the car. Just when he was about to say fuck it, you turned away from him. You softly cleared your throat then buckled yourself in. Sighing, he pushed started the ignition then swerved out of the parked spot they were in taking the route back to the city. As he drove you didn’t speak, you didn’t even move. You kept your head turned away from him looking out the passenger window with your legs crossed away from him. Your body language sent a completely different message now. Before you were open and so close to him. Now, you were so far he wondered if he’d turned Miles’ words into truths.

~~~~~

-Y/N- 8 Months Later-

The loud ‘pop’ of a champagne cork echoed just behind you making you spin in that direction. A group was just behind you laughing and toasting to something you guessed was momentous. You sighed then turned back to the painting you were currently studying. The abstract lines and swoops looked so similar to the slopes of a body. The longer you stared at it the more it felt like an erotic image than some random lines and swirls. There was something about it that stirred something in you, something that you’d ignored and buried so deep, something you hadn’t felt for 8 months.

You drained your champagne glass then squeezed your eyes shut. It had been a long 8 months. You’d worked your ass off times ten taking on more and more clients than before. You brought on 12 celebrity clients and 4 major corporate ones which brought Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw to the top of the field in revenue. You brought in so much money that you’d gotten 7 poaching offers from firms in different parts of the country.

Thanks to those offers that you hadn’t necessarily kept confidential, the interest in you for partner rose to unbeatable levels. Anyone you were competing against for the position paled in comparison. Those 8 months of ass-busting work led to your name being signed on the paperwork titling you as the new partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw. It was so much of a done deal that your bank account proudly embraced your new status.

With that new status came an increase in the events you had to make an appearance at as thee number 1 entertainment and criminal attorney in London. Your calendar quickly filled with meetings, speeches, appearances, court appearances, dinners, and more. You were so booked that the next time you had any schedule free time was 6 months away. You’d catapulted so far out of your original tax bracket that you’d shattered the glass ceiling that tried to confine you and now you wondered if you’d aimed too high.

“Looks like I’m right on time.”

You looked to your right and found Darius holding another glass of champagne for you. Smiling, you took it.

“That you are, thank you.”

“Of course. To you, the youngest and newest partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw and in the greater London area.”

You smiled as the man who’d stuck around through your insane schedule, your hot and cold behavior, your pull you close one minute, push you away the next, your disappearing acts, your reluctance to place a label on your interactions, your give me sex then get gone rule, and more for the last 8 months.

“Thank you, Darius,” you said leaning toward him and pressing your lips against his.

Darius moaned and reciprocated the kiss, snaking his hand around your waist and pulling you close. You felt like you were thanking him for much more than the toast and the fresh glass of champagne. You felt like you were thanking him for taking your bare minimum and it made you feel like shit.

Darius pressed his forehead to yours and instantly you had a flash back to the last man who’d done that to you. In a split second, your heart rate spiked, and an intense feeling gripped you.

“You don’t have to thank me, love.”

Your reaction to the action ricocheted through you making you pull away from Darius. Turning back to the painting, you gulped down the champagne.

“It’s crazy that your firm has so many celebrity clients and that this many are here to welcome you as partner,” Darius said in hushed tones.

“It is crazy.”

All night you’d been rubbing elbows with actors, musicians, models, athletes, and more. All of them congratulated you on your promotion and wished you greater success in the future. It was touching but a little bit overwhelming. You couldn’t let on though, so for the entire night you’d been performing, and you were nearing the limits of your stamina for it. You’d been performing for the last 8 months. Shit, you’d even been performing with Darius. You’d been performing ever since you were dropped off in those early morning hours those 8 months ago.

“Y/N,”

To your left, your paralegal now turned assistant, Kemi touched your elbow drawing your attention to her.

“Hey, girl.”

“Hey, you look incredible,” she said.

“Stop saying that please, you’re gonna blow my head up so big I just might start thinking I deserve a higher position.”

She giggled but gave you a look that said “well ya’ do.”

“The big wigs are asking for you, although you’re now one of them so--.”

You snorted while rolling your eyes. “Then doesn’t that make you the big wig assistant?”

She posed then making you laugh.

“I’ll be right back,” you said to Darius as you walked off to find those big wigs.

It didn’t take long before you found them surrounded by a group of about 10 people. When they saw you they waved you over with large smiles on their faces. You took a deep breath and approached them with an equally large smile.

“There she is ladies and gentlemen!”

The group smiled, patted your back, and welcomed you with friendly banter.

“Everyone!”

The music died down and someone handed Malcolm Boyd a microphone. He was your biggest fan, a black man who’d made unfathomable feats in the field and became an incredible mentor and second father to you. He put his arm around your shoulder as he always did.

“I am filled with great happiness and pride calling this woman the new partner here at Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw!”

Everyone began applauding then, drowning out his next words so he paused and allowed them a few moments before continuing.

“She has been with us for 6 years now and in those 6 years she has accomplished incredible things and when she was done with those incredible things she moved on to outstanding things. Y/N has reminded many of us of what it means to be determined and persistent. She tackles every case with poise, confidence, and grace and that confidence has given her that 99% win record.”

Again everyone clapped. You softly smiled at them half embarrassed by the praise but half so damn proud of yourself and happy that your accomplishments were being recognized.

“Just as Malcome said, “Patrick Halsey began placing his hand on Malcom’s shoulder, “Y/N more than deserves this promotion and I expect her to blow all of our minds in the coming months and years. We just might have to add another name to the plague.”

Many in the audience hollered and hooted at that and you couldn’t lie that the greedy ambition within you salivated at that possibility. You still wanted more. You exchanged a look with Malcome who gave you an all-knowing look. You just found your next accomplishment. The founding partners took turns praising you and giving reasons why you’d earned this promotion then raised their glasses to you for the ultimate toast of congratulations. You humbly thanked them and gave a quick appreciative speech before lifting your glass to the audience.

As you drank down the tart liquid, your eye caught sight of a figure you hadn’t seen in person for almost 2 months—Lewis. He stood at the back in a black suit that clearly was made for him. His braids were pulled back in the way he liked when he was tackling more professional events. He looked as good as ever. He lifted his glass of water to you and in response you gave him a tight smile.

The same thing happened that always happened when you met one another ever since that night. Your body went through this strange cycle of reaction, excitement, confusion, hurt, anger, annoyance, and disappointment. It was exhausting. Because of these feelings, you regretted that night. You regretted allowing your thoughts to go so astray that you opened up your ‘what if’ box. You regretted every whisper, every lean in, every almost touch, every lingering look, everything. You even regretted getting out of his car when he pulled up to your condo instead of pulling him by his hair to you and telling him to go upstairs with you. you didn’t know what you regretted more.

The worst part was that you had to continue on like always. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem because that night was not the first night there had been many ‘what if’ nights over your decade-long friendship. The common factor was that both of you moved on and slinked back into the basics of your relationship—comfort and friendship. This time is difficult, so difficult you contemplated passing his case off to another attorney. If it hadn’t been for Malcome talking you out of it he would have been someone else’s responsibility. Instead, you put on your big girl panties and a mask and did something you never thought you’d ever do with him—performed.

When the crowd thinned out and everyone returned to what they were doing you began making your way back to Darius in the opposite direction. You were ready to leave. Before you got far Lewis stepped in front of you stopping you in your tracks.

“Congratulations, Y/N.”

Smiling, you thanked him.

“You look--,” his words stalled as his eyes roamed your body. You noted the conflicted look on his face before it disappeared. “Incredible,” Lewis finished.

His compliment made your body warm and something like hope filled you. Chastising yourself you swallowed the lump in your throat. “Thank you. You look nice too.”

Lewis scoffed softly then nodded. You then tried to slip by him, however, Lewis wasn’t having it. Again, he stepped in front of you.

“In a rush to get away from me?”

“Why would you say that? Have you done anything to me for me to want that?”

Silence stretched and Lewis studied you his jaw clenched tightly. Instead of speaking, he looked down, an act of defeat.

“Can we talk, Y/N?”

“We’re talking right now.”

He gave you an unamused look, but you kept your nonchalant, innocent one. Unexpectedly Miles approached then.

“There she is--partner lady. Congratulations Y/N.”

You smiled then hugged Miles. “Thank you!”

“This is incredible news, Y/N. So happy for you.”

“I appreciate that. Thank you for coming,” you replied.

“You know me, always this fool’s plus one.”

You smiled then the silence returned for a few seconds before Lewis spoke again.

“Maybe we can go somewhere—quiet after this?”

“Unfortunately I don’t think I can.”

“Why?”

Just then Darius approached and wrapped his arm around your waist resting his hand on your hip. You watched Lewis’ eyes drop to that hand and continued to watch as his jaw turned tight as if it filled with cement.

“Oh wow. Lewis Hamilton,” Darius said turning to you, his voice awestricken. “Babe it’s Lewis Hamilton.”

You nodded as a soft smile played on your lips. “Let me introduce you. Darius, this is one of my clients, Lewis Hamilton, and his best friend Miles Chamley-Watson fencing champion and Olympian. Miles, Lewis this is my—.”

You hesitated and in the same second, you felt Darius’ eyes on you filled with hope. Two other pairs of eyes were on you--one giving complete double eyeball emoji and the other searing you almost daring you to continue. The longer you didn’t speak, you watched Darius’ hope turn to disappointment. Glancing back at Lewis you found his eyebrow up with a curious and confrontational look while Miles was the epitome of if ‘well this is awkward’ was a person.

“This is Darius Forrester.”

You felt even more like shit now. Darius shook Lewis’ hand first then Miles’. While he did Lewis looked him over sizing him up. You knew he was wondering if he was the same man from those months ago when you’d told him you were on a date.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m a fan,” Darius said to Lewis.

“Thank you. I appreciate that. I can sign something for you if you want.”

You rolled your eyes at his underhanded jab while a half chortle escaped Miles. Darius on the other hand leapt at the opportunity, handing Lewis the only thing he had, an art bidding ballot. Lewis signed the back but kept his eyes on Darius’ hand on your hip.

“Bidding on some art tonight?”

“I am. There is a piece this gorgeous angel has been staring at all night, it’ll be my gift to her for her promotion,” Darius explained rubbing your hip.

You smiled at him then kissed his cheek. Lewis now looked entertained while Miles’ eyes widened as he finished the drink in his hand.

“Ehm, anyway. So I’m sorry I can’t pencil you in tonight but if you call Kemi and make an appointment she’ll get you on the calendar for a different day for that talk,” you said.

“Plans tonight,” Miles guessed looking between you and Darius.

“Absolutely. I’ve had way too much to drink and plan on taking advantage of that.”

You leaned closer to Darius kicking up your performance another notch. Lewis smirked but also clenched his jaw to that. Miles whistled while nodding his head.

“Go on then Ms. Partner, fly by the seat of your panties or no panties,” Miles teased making you and Darius chuckle while Lewis gave him an unamused look.

“Well, enjoy your evening gentlemen. Thank you again for coming by,” you said before you made a move to walk off with Darius.

As you walked away you placed your hand over Darius’ and slyly slipped it lower to rest on your ass. You knew Lewis was watching and decided to deliver the last blow. Was it petty? Yes. Was it fair to Daius? Not at all.

The next hour or so passed with you roaming around the gallery looking at the art while Darius flirted with you. As you roamed, no matter where you went you saw Lewis from the corner of your eye and no matter how much space was between you, your skin reacted as if Darius’ touch was his. The more you felt that way the reality that Darius’ touch was in fact all his own annoyed you making you feel even worse. You knew what needed to be done and knew it had to be done soon.

The only way you could distract yourself was with glass after glass of champagne. As you emerged from one of your countless trips to the bathroom you bumped into Miles.

“Funny bumping into you here.”

You smiled warmly, “Still here? I thought you and Lewis left hours ago.”

“You knew we were still here,” he accused.

You tried to give an affronted look but failed. He was right. Sighing, your act fell for the first time that night.

“Wow. Feels good to not perform huh.”

You looked at Miles and wondered just how much he knew. He didn’t keep you in suspense long.

“What a twisted web we weave when we practice to deceive.” He scoffed, shook his head then continued, look, I am going to tell you the same thing I told Lewis.”

You perked up then but tried to play it off.

“You better stop playing before somebody gets hurt and by the looks of it, it’s gonna be your homeboy Darius if not all three of you.”

You took in his words then put your mask back in place. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah you do, just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”

Your curiosity peaked then. “What are you talking about Miles? What do you think you know?”

He scoffed. “I’m a straightforward kinda guy so I’ll say I know everything. As the neutral 3rd party who is both on the outside looking in and the inside watching this train wreck, I know everything. I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”

Your eyes lingered and the longer they did the more you got his meaning. Glancing away you tried to pretend like his words meant nothing, but you knew you were failing.

“I get it, I really do; 10 years is a long time to put at risk but are you really putting it at risk knowing all you know? You have 10 years of proof. Man up.”

Miles leaned in, kissed your cheek, and whispered, “Let homeboy go so he can find someone who really loves him, someone who can love him. Your corner is full.”

With that, he walked away leaving you speechless and confused. Your corner was full? You had no idea whatsoever what that meant, and you were tempted to follow Miles and get some clarification, but you decided against it remembering the last time you chased down the rabbit hole. When you found Darius again his expression was somber when he told you that the painting he’d been bidding on was outbid and that he didn’t have it to gift you. After assuring him you were fine, you decided you were more than ready to leave.

Darius got the car as you waited outside allowing the cold air to cool your skin. You didn’t care that you were risking illness because it served as a needed distraction. When you felt a fabric drape over your shoulders you bristled at first but then Lewis’ scent circled you and your body relaxed. Even that annoyed you.

“I don’t need this. Darius will be back soon anyway.”

Lewis snorted. “8 months, is that a record?”

“I think it’s a record for you, but I’ve gone longer.”

He scoffed then shook his head. “No doubt, remember Y/N. I will be here long after you get bored with them all. I’m always here.”

Your eyes locked and his should have been radiating cockiness that matched his words, but instead, they were gentle, open, and vulnerable.

“Will you?”

There was no time to reply because a car horn blared drawing your attention. Darius waved at you as he got out of the car to walk around to the passenger side.

“Good night Lewis.”

You walked away from him then slipped into the passenger side. As you waited for Darius to get in and drive off, you stared at Lewis who hadn’t budged from the curb where you left him. Miles’ words echoed back to you then.

“Just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”

“You have 10 years of proof.”

“Your corner is full.”

The word ‘full’ echoed over and over as Darius pulled off. Bullshit, you said to yourself in disbelief.

When Darius pulled up to your condo you sat there marinating in all your thoughts throughout the nearly thirty-minute drive. It wasn’t until you felt Darius’ hand on your exposed knee did you realize he was still there.

“Are you okay? Want me to come up?”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “We need to talk Darius.”

When you looked at him his expression said he knew just what you were about to say. Being as gentle as you could, you ended things. Although the old “it’s not you it’s me” line fit the situation perfectly. You dug a little deeper and gave him and heartfelt reason without revealing you were and had been in love with your best friend for 10 years and didn’t realize it until his feelings were already on the line. When you finished, Darius remained the good guy he was and told you he understood and that he’d expected this sooner or later. You thanked him for being good to you then began making your way to the elevators.

Halfway there you dug into the pocket of the jacket you wore and froze. When you took your hand out you held a note with your name sprawled on the front in Lewis’ handwriting.

-Y/N-

I’ve thought for months about what to say to you because there is so much to say, so much that has gone unsaid for so long that I don’t know where to start—how to start. 10 years is a long time especially when neither of us has been 100% honest with the other. I want to end that. Please.

-Lewis

You read then reread the note over and over hoping you would know what to do next but no matter how many times you did, you had nothing. So you walked back and forth in the lobby. When your phone sounded, you found a message from Lewis.

MSG Lewis: Ball’s in your court. I’m outside your building.

You froze then slowly turned and saw his car. It had been months since you’d been in a car with him and the thought of doing it again freaked you out a little. Your eyes met at that moment, but he didn’t move. He was giving you the time to decide for yourself. You turned your back to him then walked to the elevators but stopped halfway. After a few moments, you turned back around and walked to the doors only to stop halfway again and repeat the whole cycle. Still, Lewis didn’t budge. He just watched as your internal debate played out physically.

After ten minutes you stooped down and put your down, completely exhausted by your indecisiveness. Taking a deep breath, you held it and allowed your lungs to adjust. It was an action you often did to help you think and calm down. As your oxygen levels decreased your heartbeat would slow and as it did, there was always one particular beat where you figured it all out. It usually came right in the nick of time.

So you allowed your heartbeat to slow and though you should have panicked you didn’t. You thought clearer than you’d ever thought before.

“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”

Miles’ words came back to you again and it was then you gasped filling your lungs with air. After a few breaths, you stood then turned to the doors. It worked all the time. With your head high and back straight you walked toward them then climbed inside Lewis’ car. Without a word, he pulled off then turned back onto the streets.

~~~~~~

Thirty minutes later you walked into a penthouse suite right behind Lewis.

“Why here?”

“Thought neutral ground would make you more comfortable.”

You scoffed and beelined right to the bar, tossing his suit jacket over the back of one of the bar stools. As you mixed yourself a drink you tried not to focus on him, but you did. No matter where he went you knew. You were hypersensitive to him at this point. You’d only meant to make a glass but ended up making a whole shaker cup. You kicked off your heels, climbed onto the bar stool then plopped yourself on the countertop. Once comfortable you crossed your legs and sipped your drink.

“Where’s Darius?”

“Not here obviously.”

“You and I are so alike it’s insane,” he said as he approached you, but he didn’t come close. He stopped at the sectional couches in the middle of the large living area and then sat.

The silence in the room was thick for such a long time you began thinking about leaving altogether.

“Congratulations again. I’m so fucking proud of you. You saw something you wanted and didn’t stop until you got it. You deserve this.”

Your stomach flipped hearing his praise. More than anyone he knew what you’d gone through to get here. It touched you. Looking away from him, you cleared your throat. “Thanks.”

His eyes remained on you as if daring you to look back at him. It was a dare you had to accept. Your eyes locked and you instantly felt it. There was so much to say. Just behind him, you saw something familiar. Squinting, you made out the painting you’d been staring at all night, the painting Darius wanted to bid on for you. It clicked then, the reason why Darius couldn’t win it was because Lewis claimed it first. You scoffed, the man was competitive and dominant to a fault. You couldn’t help but be touched by the gesture though.

Lewis sighed bringing your eyes back to him, “I don’t even know where to start,” groaned, rubbed his eyes then spoke again. “Maybe I’m sorry is a good place.”

You studied him for a few moments then took a mouthful of your drink. “For what?”

“You know for what.”

That night.

Those words hung in the air, and you did your best to remain aloof. Scoffing, you shook your head. “It’s all good Lewis.”

“You’re lying and you know it. I thought attorneys believed in the truth.”

“Who are you to tell me what my truth is?!”

You hadn’t meant to shout it, but you did.

“Because more times than not our truths match up and I am sure that what happened was not all good to you because it wasn’t to me.”

“And what exactly wasn’t all good to you?”

“The way we—I left things,” he quietly said.

You waited for him to continue because there was no way in hell you were going to make this easy for him. He wanted to talk so he’d talk. Lewis shook his head then hung it backward. He sat there staring into the ceiling for almost a full minute before he looked back at you.

“I just—flipped when we were—you were—you wanted--,” he stuttered.

You scoffed again, “Don’t flatter yourself, Lewis,” you said slipping into the barstool and spinning it around so your back faced him.

“What?”

“You and I both know that none of that meant anything to you. It’s all good.”

“Now who’s telling who what their truth is?”

You didn’t take the bait, instead, you kept your back to him and finished your glass.

“You forget, I know you, Lewis. 10 years of friendship and I know you so well that it was my own damn fault that night.”

“Whatdaya know?”

After refilling your glass you turned back around then hopped off the stool and walked toward the large floor-to-ceiling window. “I know that that you were with one of your rotation chicks before you came to pick me up. I smelled her on you. That fruity aroma was all her. I know that because of that tidbit of info, none of it meant anything.”

Leaning against the window you stared down at the view of London. Lights glistened down below, and you imagined everyone scurrying to where they had to go so wrapped up in their own thoughts or existence to even suspect that it all was fleeting.

“Okay, I’ll own that bit. Yeah, I was with one of them but that was only after I found out you were on a date.”

“So it’s my fault. I was on a date living my life, so you decided to get your dick wet. Okay.”

You took another sip from your glass not liking the direction of this little talk he wanted to have.

“I never said it was your fault. It’s just a fact. I texted you because I wanted to see you, wanted to spend time with you and you were spending time with someone else, someone you probably did God knows what with hours before you saw me.”

And with that, you were done here. Finishing the glass you turned and walked to the door.

“Good night Lewis.”

He scurried in front of you blocking your path. “Wait, please. Shit! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Two sorries in the span of twenty minutes, cool. Get out of my way.”

“No, Y/N, please wait.”

You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “I’m sick and tired of waiting. I’ve waited 10 years!”

“You’ve waited? I’ve—.”

Lewis threw his hands up then walked away grunting and talking to himself. He looked insane and it kind of made you pleased seeing it. He always appeared so in control, so aware of himself and his actions at all times. It had all gone to shit now. You stood there debating if you should just leave and let things remain how they were until the day you both just stopped talking and checking in and it ended up going on for another 10 years until you were just people who used to know one another, people who’d missed out on something. It was then you realized you weren’t wearing shoes.

“Shit,” you whispered.

“I wanted you that night. I wanted you more than I had ever wanted anyone, including anyone in the rotation. Do you know what I was doing while you were on your date?”

“Getting your dick wet. I know.”

“I was lying on Julissa’s bed as she gave me head.”

You scoffed, “Of course you were.”

“She’d been going for 40 minutes and still I was barely hard. No matter what she did, no matter the tricks, no matter how nice it felt, barely hard. I was lying on her bed with my dick in her mouth thinking about you on your fucking date.”

You looked at him then. Those were words you hadn’t expected.

“My mind went crazy thinking what was happening. The longer that went by without you texting me the thoughts killed me. As soon as I got your message I left. No other thought, just you. I prayed to God that the date didn’t go well enough for you to let him upstairs. Then I saw what you were wearing, and I couldn’t believe I was jealous. I was jealous.”

“Why?”

Lewis looked at you then. “Because he got to see you like that. You’d dressed up for him, wanted to turn him on with that outfit. He’d spent the entire night with you. He’d had what I wanted.”

Well shit, you thought before walking back to the bar. Rather than making another drink, you took up a bottle of champagne and brought it to your lips.

“Do you know what it feels like to want someone so bad that it fucks with you and everything you do? To want someone more than you’ve wanted anything. To want someone in a way that is new to you, so new that it scares you. Do you know what it feels to have this crippling fear every time that someone is in your grasp, but not being able to resist the temptation, the desire to make them yours? Do you know what it feels like to know that you only burn this bright, this hot, this dangerous with one person, and the burn is all-consuming?”

He looked almost hysterical now. “Do you know what it feels like to want the perfect someone for you? I’m talking molded for you in every way while knowing it’s not the right time for you because you both want too much from the world and because you know that because you burn so hot, so bright that you’ll burn each other if either of you ever let go and let it happen? To know you are so similar that you will either destroy each other or ruin one another for anyone else.”

The look on his face was so damn relatable. He’d just said everything you’d thought over the last 10 years. Everything.

“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me.”

He was practically ranting now. Spewing every single thing that he’d ever thought, confessing it all.

“So because of all that you try to keep up pretenses that you’re friends and nothing more though you have countless moments where you slip up and stare at them too long, or hold them in your arms from a hug for half a minute too long, or let your hand linger in theirs or around their waist to test boundaries because you just can’t not touch them, or even find reasons to do every single thing together. You take those 2 steps forward not realizing you do because the pull is too strong, then you freak out and leap back 5 steps. You do this for weeks, months, years until 10 of them have passed and you have this huge box you’d filled with all the other stuff between you that you can’t express or fess up to until that box just gets stirred by one action, one moment--one night.”

His eyes were locked on yours. Somehow he’d traveled across the room to the bar and was standing right in front of you. Somehow he’d locked you in the frame of his arms leaving you nowhere to run. Somehow he’d managed to inflate your chest with hope right beside your thundering heart.

“Then suddenly—everything has changed, and nothing can be the same ever again,” he finished, his voice a whisper in the completely silent room.

You watched his eyes lower to your lips and your gut flipped again.

“Do you know what any of that feels like, Y/N?”

There were only mere inches between you now and the sheer proximity of his body to yours made you shiver.

“H—how long—have you—felt this way?”

Your voice quivered in a way that made it obvious to him what his nearness was doing to you.

“10--fucking years,” Lewis replied eyes glued to yours.

He took one step to you, “I’ve spent the last 8 months cleaning my life, cleaning my circle because I’ve gotten to the point where I could no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. You’re number one, Y/N.”

You were frozen in place, unsure what to say, and even more unsure what to do. He was right, your truths usually did line up and this was no different.

“And I know it scares you, shit it scares me too. All of this does. I know my life is insane and yours is about to be even more so, I get you still have things you want to accomplish; I saw your face when Halsey mentioned adding your name to the plaque. You want it and I want it for you as well as the world for both of us. Our timing can’t be any worse, but something has got to give, love, because I can’t take another year let alone 10 of this.”

You took a deep, ragged breath.

“Where--,” Lewis began before stopping and chewing his top lip.

It was a nervous tick. “Where do I—stand—with you?”

For 10 years he’d been so hard to read, so nearly impossible to gauge, and here right now in the darkness of the room you could see him as clear as day. He was oh so transparent and scared you’d reject him. Scared you’d decide he was more trouble than he was worth. Scared he’d just showed you his heart and ruined your friendship in the process. Without realizing it you were crying; you felt a tear roll down your cheek.

Sniffling, you wiped it away, “Ehm, I broke up with Darius tonight.”

Lewis looked shocked. Clearly, he thought you were still together.

“Why?”

You wiped the other tear that fell from your eye then looked away from him. All of a sudden the room felt smaller than it was, it felt as if the walls were closing in on you. Lewis cupped the back of your head cradling your skull in his palm making you look him in the eyes.

“Why?”

“For the last 8 months, I’ve been hot and cold with him, I pulled him close one minute then the next pushed him away, I disappeared a lot always using work as the excuse. I was busy, yeah, but it wasn’t work. I was always so reluctant to put a label on what we were doing, every time he brought it up I changed the subject never giving him the answer he wanted. Even when we had sex--.”

Lewis took a deep breath, dropped his head, and harshly released it, clearly displeased with confirmation that he’d had you that way, but you continued.

“Even then it was usually always on my terms, and I always wanted him to leave right after. I was—I was always thinking about someone else, something else instead of him, and for 8 months I never felt anything remotely close to what I felt that night with him. over the months every time I saw you it hacked at whatever was going on between me and him until tonight seeing you again it just--.”

You flicked your five fingers indicating an explosion. I’ve become hypersensitive to you, and I don’t know when it happened. It dawned on me that—I was using Darius and it wasn’t fair.”

Lewis searched your eyes not hiding the hurt in his. You took a step towards him. “You’re right about a few things. Our timing couldn’t be any worse.”

He nodded.

“Our truths usually always line up.”

Lewis looked hopeful then.

“Your life is insane.”

The hope faltered.

“I do want my name on that plaque, and I will get it.”

A small smile crooked his lips.

Another tear rolled down your cheek and again you wiped it away, “I can also no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. Always has been because you’re my number one.”

He clenched his jaw then and the emotion that washed over his face rocked you. Like an earthquake rocking the Earth’s surface.

“I am scared.”

As this tear rolled, Lewis was the one to reach out and gently wipe it with the pad of his thumb. Your lip quivered.

“I’m so scared.”

Lewis pushed forward then, crashing his lips to yours in one swift move. Once your lips met neither of you went slow. The kiss was frenzied from the beginning, both of you wanting it all and not wanting to waste any more time taking it. As his tongue rolled with yours you closed the space between you pressing your body against him. Lewis softly moaned, wrapping his arms around you. When you bit down on his bottom lip he groaned then walked you backward until your back collided with the edge of the bar. Trapping you there once again, he kissed you without holding a thing back and your body responded to him instantaneously.

In a matter of seconds, you both were moaning against each other and completely wrapped up in the new feelings that were consuming you. Lewis cupped your face as he kissed you then ran his hands down to your neck. You couldn’t deny that this felt even better than you imagined. Moaning, you clutched his waist but when that didn’t suffice, you slowly slid your hands up along his toned abs, over his chest taking in the bulge of muscle there. When you wrapped them around his neck, Lewis pressed more persistently against you.

“Mmmm!”

Lewis tore his lips from you and put his forehead to yours. “Fuck, I don’t want to get too carried away. I’m sorry I should have asked first.”

“Consent fucking given,” you said before you crashed your lips to his.

This time you took control. Swirling your tongue with his you didn’t give him time to react or gain the upper hand. You wanted to taste him, and you refused to wait any longer. Teasing his lips, you nibbled his bottom one, taking your time to sensually suck on it until he moaned against you. The vibration shot through you making you feel like you’d only now just begun to truly feel. Lewis’ hands roughly gripped your hips, holding you steady so you could feel that you weren’t the only one finally feeling for the first time.

Heightening both if your pleasure, you sucked his tongue until he groaned. The next thing you knew Lewis’ had you by the hips lifting you onto the bar top. You wrapped your thighs around him and nearly came when you felt his hands pry your legs apart. The heat radiating off of his hand on your bare thigh reminded you of the night in his car and you prayed he didn’t stop again.

As if reading your mind, Lewis met your eyes while he slid his hand higher and higher and higher until his fingers crawled to your inner thigh. Softly he raked his manicured nails against your skin forcing a whimper from you. You bit down on your bottom lip and silently willed yourself not to cum from the anticipation. Suddenly the back of Lewis’ fingers brushed against your sex. Your gasp was loud, breathy, and stretched out as he took his time moving centimeter by centimeter until he’d trapped your clit between his pointer and middle finger. Your jaw dropped all the while he held your gaze.

When he tightened his fingers and rubbed against you, your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You knew then he was dangerous, and you were going to cum.

“F—ha—fu-huck!”

Your back arched, head fell back as your body moved like it were possessed. Each spasm of pleasure had you bucking against his fingers until you could hardly breathe.

“My god you’re so fucking beautiful when you cum, love.”

You giggled and moaned as the tremors worked their way through you. “Mmm, orgasms and compliments, a girl could get used to this,” you cooed.

“Good. This is your future.”

Lewis moved his hand, brought them to your thighs then lifted them. As he planted your heels at the edge of the bar, you knew what he wanted. Your eyes dropped to his lips then you moaned. Pulling your dress away from your legs you allowed them to fall back to the bar showing him not only gymnasts were flexible.

“Oh fuck,” Lewis groaned.

You watched his eyes drop to your sex and the look on his face was unlike any you’d ever seen. No one had looked at you like this before. He stared where your thighs met like it was the most mesmerizing thing he’d ever seen, the first of its kind and something he wanted to completely destroy. You now felt like prey spread before him like this, like at any moment he was going to pounce on you.

“Mmm.”

Lewis came closer and closer until he rested on his elbows and was just inches from your sex. The anticipation was killing, and he had to know it.

“I knew you were a lacy knickers kind of woman,” he muttered.

“I take it you’re a lacy knickers kind of man.”

“On you, fuck yes.”

With that, Lewis hooked his thumbs in your underwear and pulled them to the side. He blew out a breath in reaction to seeing you bare for the first time and that breath fucked you up all over again. You threw your head back trying to calm your anxieties, but just when you met his eyes again you found his tongue out sliding against your wet folds.

Oh—my—goooood!”

Lewis moaned and did it again and again until he circled your clit with the tip of his tongue. “Mmmm.”

Lewis pressed your thighs back keeping them spread then went to town. If you’d ever doubted before that his mouth game was incredible you didn’t now. He licked, flicked, and sucked along your flesh making your back remain in a prolonged arch. Within seconds you were whining and writhing as his tongue worked literal fucking magic. The sound of Lewis’ slurping echoed in the living room and that was when your hands grabbed his head. Pulling his hair free you held on and bucked against his mouth.

“Mmm.”

He stuck his tongue out and let you take over. With every buck against his tongue, you called his name and the more the tip of his tongue flicked your clit the more out of control you felt. Your release was so close your body moved more wildly needing it at all costs.

“I’m gonna cum Lewis.”

“Cum for me, Y/N!”

You didn’t need to be told more than once and when you were right on the precipice you felt Lewis slid two digits inside of you. Just like that, your orgasm morphed from a toe-curling release to soul snatching one. You screeched as your body convulsed but he didn’t stop then, he pumped his fingers in and out of you then added a third finger stretching you wide.

“Uuuugh fuck!”

You barely finished your words before Lewis threw you over his shoulder, keeping his fingers inside of you. As he walked through the suite his fingers kept fucking you, readying you for him. When your back met the soft sheets of the mattress, Lewis still hadn’t broken contact. He watched you now as you lay there unable to control your body.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Pulling his fingers free he cleaned two of them off before you sprang to your knees to claim the third. As you sucked his finger you kept your eyes on his. You could see how badly he wanted you, how much he wanted from you, and you couldn’t believe he’d held back all this time. You took your time sliding each button through its slot until his shit was wide open. When you pushed it off of him you took in a sight you’d seen plenty of times only now it was different.

You brought your hands to feel across his torso marveling at each defined ab muscle and each tattoo. When you intentionally rubbed against his beaded nipple you noted the way his Adam’s apple bobbed. How had you never noticed your effect on him? How had you never taken it seriously? Bringing your hands back to his waist you undid his pants. You brushed your palm against the protruding mass straining against his pants which made him shiver as he grunted.

“Oops.”

Lewis scoffed then licked his lips and that was all it took for him to claim back some of the control you possessed over this exchange.

“Of course, you’re a fucking tease.”

You innocently smiled. “I haven’t even begun to tease you.”

“I bet.”

Lewis snuck forward kissing you one peck at a time, over and over.

“Mm, can you take it?”

“Any other night my answer would be yes, hell in an hour my answer will be yes but right now--.”

He cupped your sex with on hand and the back of your neck with the other.

“Mmm.”

“Right now, I have no control left. I’ve remained in control around you for 10 years and right now I just want to let it all go. I want to bury myself so deep inside of you there is no mistake that we belong to each other bad timing or not. It’s you and me, Y/N.”

You groaned as his words only increased the wetness between your legs. You kissed him again, then you turned your back to him and swayed your body against him. Lewis dropped a kiss to your shoulder as his hand crept around to cup the underside of your breast. You leaned forward getting on all fours with your ass poking out to him.

“Undo me?”

He didn’t move for a few moments, and you waited for him to enjoy the view. When you felt his hand rub against your ass you dipped your back lower which only made your ass poke out more. Lewis trailed his hand along your spine that the backless gown proudly showed off. Then he went to your tailbone and lowered the zipper of the dress. Peeping over your shoulder, your eyes locked as you allowed the dress to fall away from your body.

His groan was low—primal. It was all you needed to hear to know he liked the strappy number you wore that was made of fine lace. You expected him to take his time but instead, you felt him peel off the garment leaving you completely naked before him for the first time ever.

“You’re so wet for me, Y/N. So wet and so fucking perfect.”

You spread your legs further then stretched your arms over your head using your head to hold you up. As expected, Lewis flipped you onto your back making you giggle. You roamed your hands over your body, cupping your breasts then sliding them down your abdomen to your dripping core. The entire time, Lewis kept his eyes on every move you made while he pulled his pants and underwear off.

When he stood bare before you, your surprise could not be masked. You didn’t know what you’d expected in your late-night thoughts about what he was packing but you had no way of expecting this. Lewis gripped his length then slowly stroked it as he pressed a knee onto the mattress.

“Scared?”

You bit your bottom lip as you gawked at what the good lord blessed him with. It was unfair and completely intimidating.

“Now I see why everyone in the rotation was so happy being one of many.”

He snorted, bringing his other knee to the mattress between. Slowly he stalked closer like a predator with a deadly weapon in hand.

“There is no rotation anymore.”

“Oh yeah. The LH44 Harem has been disbanded?”

As he crept closer, you slid backward.

“You’re not funny.”

“So am I the first to usher in a new era—a new harem?”

Lewis grabbed your ankle then pulled you back to him making the backs of your thighs slam into the fronts of his. He then hovered over you before dropping an opened mouth kiss on your nipple. Sucking the peak into his mouth he sucked raising your back off of the bed.

“You’re in no harem. I told you, it’s you—and me,” he said nibbling your flesh.

Stared at him letting it all sink in. You brought your hand to his bearded cheek and rested it there.

“Are we really doing this? Like—for real?”

Lewis boxed your face in with his muscular arms and stared into your eyes. “I’ve told you where I stand, Y/N. I’ve told you everything that’s in here.”

He took your hand and placed it over the roaring lion etched on his skin keeping his hand over yours.

“It’s time you tell me what’s in here,” he finished placing his other hand over your left breast.

“You,” you whispered.

“I love you, Y/N.”

Before you could react or even respond Lewis thrust forward sending the tip of his hardness inside of you, stealing your breath, and every thought. A breathy gasp filled the air. Slowly he pushed forward, leisurely filling you giving you time to adjust to his size.

“Haaaa.”

Lewis kept his hand over your heart while holding yours over his as he filled you inch by tortuous inch never taking his eyes off yours. Your entire being was on fire like he was pouring molten lava inside of you with every inch he gave you.  

“Oh fu—Lewis,” you panted.

From the way his jaw was clenched, and eyes focused intently on you, you could tell he was feeling everything you were.

“How are you so tight?”

Digging your nails into his chest you tightened your leg around his waist and as if that was his last straw, Lewis flicked his hips forward filling you completely and tearing a scream from both of your lips. Neither of you moved for several moments but with every second that passed by your body blazed. Bucking against him, you slid your hand up to his throat and then gripped it.

“I love you. Fuck me. Now!”

Those words would be your ruin because he did just that without mercy and complete recklessness. Your moans and whimpers melded together rising in decibel and power until the entire room shook with the power of your screams for one another. As he plowed inside of you he didn’t go slow, he followed his basal instincts that were imprinted in his DNA, a need to claim, and dominate.

You’d never felt so out of control in your life. No matter how he fucked you, you couldn’t get enough. No matter how deep he went you wanted him deeper. No matter how he called your name you wanted him to scream it. You wanted every fucking thing he had. You wanted to leave him in shambles. When he flipped you onto your stomach like you weighed nothing, he held your ass in the air and fucked you so thoroughly you’d lost track of how many times you came. It didn’t matter because you wanted more.

He must have been able to read your mind because there was no way he could tell what you needed this soon, you thought to yourself as he grabbed your wrists and pulled you back, so he had your upper body hovering above the mattress.

“Oh my god, I’m cumming Lewis! Ooh shiiiiiit!”

He took advantage of this new angle and circled his hips as he jackhammered into you, fucking you as you did something you’d never done before—squirted. You screamed from the force of your release, but Lewis didn’t stop, he fucked you through it then torpedoed you into another one that you knew would tear you apart. Racing for it, you slammed yourself back into him relishing the mix of pain and pleasure that only intensified when Lewis bit down on your shoulder.

“You got one more for me, darlin? Cum for me. Soak this dick, pretty girl, drench me so I can fill that pretty pussy up.”

“Aaah!”

You clenched around him as you lost yourself and fell off the cliff and into an endless pit of pleasure. You felt Lewis spasm inside of you before he cursed and shouted his release doing just what he promised. Filling your pretty pussy up.

When the two of you finally collapsed on the bed Lewis held you to him spooning you while still being nestled inside of you. Bit by bit you came back to your body and slowly your body went from violent shakes to subtle tremors and a hazy feeling washed over you. Lewis peppered kisses along your neck and shoulder nipping your skin every now and then.

“Mmm. Oh my god!”

He snorted. “You good?”

“Good? Am I good? Are you—at the risk of swelling your head even more than it already is that was--.”

“Was?”

You searched for the words but couldn’t find the right ones. “It was,” you settled on making him laugh as he held you tighter.

“Naw, I was alright, you—you were,” he said making you snort.

“Shut up.”

“No, I’m being for real for real. It’s a miracle I held on that long, you feel unbelievable, so good, too good. You—are!”

You giggled then moaned, sleepiness creeping up on you.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep, I’m nowhere near done with you.”

His manhood inside of you lurched nudging your g-spot and just like that your eyes snapped wide open.

“Watch yourself, I know your weakness now.”

“You?”

“Nope, this pussy.”

Lewis snorted then flipped you onto your stomach again. This time he straddled you as he slowly pulled out of you only to plunge right back in.

“Mmm.”

“Still so damn tight,” Lewis groaned.

“You’re welcome to try stretching me out.”

Lewis jerked his hips forward delivering a bruising thrust as punishment for your your sassy mouth. It was a thrust that took your breath and made you go cross-eyed.

“Mmm, yes!”

“Oh, aren’t you full of surprises. Pretty girl likes it rough and hard.”

He did it again and again, making you hit the bed each time as you buried your face in the sheet to muffle your screams.

“God yes, Lewis!”

“So fucking alike,” Lewis said before lowering his lips to your ear. “Remember I love you 'cause I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”

Not waiting for a reply he held your arms to the bed then delivered on his promise. Everyone else was number 2 compared to you being each other’s number 1. Nothing else mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[banquetwriter]

୨୧ untitled ୨୧

pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ crying, major deppression

summary: ʚ you go through a depressive episode and Johnnie helps ɞ

Words: 1777

An: so this was horrible for me to write and I'm so so sorry

Guilt was racking through your body. You don't have any energy left in your body nowadays, it's the reason you haven't posted in almost two months. It's the reason your room and subsequent house are filthy. It's the reason why no matter how hard you try you never ever seem to fit in.

Your cheeks are tear-stained, and you haven’t washed your face in god knows how long. You've showered sure, but you haven't done your proper skincare in weeks.

Your depression has been a part of your life for as long as you can remember. It gets better, sometimes, other times it drains you of everything you have. Every day felt like a battle for you. You sigh looking at your phone it is almost 4 pm.

Your boyfriend, Johnnie, had texted you almost 2 hours ago. The rough nights you experienced led you to wake up late in the afternoon, so the plan usually involved Johnnie heading over whenever you woke up or after he was done filming.

He has wished you a good ‘morning’ and to let him know when he could head over. You wanted to indulge, truly you did, but Johnnie didn't deserve that. He had enough in his life to worry about. There was no need to worry him with your pathetic life.

The issue is you couldn't keep him on the hook like this. You sighed picking up your phone, you numbly typed out a plain excuse, telling him today wouldn't work. You put the phone down and roll over in your bed again.

You sat curled in a little ball staring out your window. There were crows sitting on top of the next-door building. You sat and quietly observed the birds, watching them move side to side. You wish life were that simple, all you had to worry about was eating and flying around.

You didn't have to worry about the eternally crushing depression that sucks your life form. Your face heated up again with the thought of Johnnies, tears pooling in your eyes.

You missed him so much. He was such a caring loving person, it wasn't always easy for him to show that. He had his ways though. Always make sure you eat, get decent sleep, etc.

Your relationship was usually the opposite way, you know just how much he struggled. You were going to be there for absolutely all of it no matter what. Nothing was going to stop you from loving him. He shouldn't have to worry about you.

But he did, it was the reason why when he saw your texting while editing he immediately called you. You were always such a beacon of positivity for him. He knew the signs, from himself and his friends. You had stopped eating unless he forced you to.

You were wearing long sleeves and sweatpants only. You never went out, just stayed in your room. He can't even remember the last time you said more than a few words to him in a single conversation. He placed the phone next to his ear and nervously tapped his foot on the floor of his room.

“Hello?” you answered with a croak. Johnnie never called you unless he really really missed your voice. Which for him was usually the case when it was nighttime. Those were extreme cases, he hated talking on the phone and absolutely despised it. Too many nerves for him.

He didn't speak for a second, half expecting you not to answer for some reason. “Hey,” he starts. You hold your breath for a second knowing what the conversation was about before he even started to speak.

“Can I please come over? I'm worried about you.”Johnnie says over the phone, fiddling with the zipper of his jacket. You inhaled with a shaky breath. “You can. It won't be a lot of fun though,” you mumbled back to him fiddling with your piercing.

“Well- when can I come over?” he asked. This awkward tension filled the phone line, the systematic white noise causing your heart to beat heavily. “Whenever you want Johnnie I'm not leaving the house anytime ever,” you reply sarcastically earning an annoyed grunt from Johnnie.

“I can be over soon, I'll let you know when my Uber shows up and I'm on my way ok?” He knew your bad attitude was because of something, and no matter how much it was upsetting him he needed to be here for you.

You on the other hand could cry from guilt. How dare you be a pathetic sack all day, cancel on your boyfriend only for him to kindly offer to be there for you and you are rude to him? On top of that, he has to pay to drive to YOUR house! “No Johnnie don't call an Uber I will come pick you up.” you offered, standing up and searching for your keys.

“I thought you weren't leaving.” he rebutted. You took a deep breath, “but I love you, so I'm not gonna make you pay to cheer me up ok?” you spoke finally finding your keys. “I don't want to stress you out.” you heard over the phone.

You tried to fight his kindness but after a minute it was clear he wasn't going to let you drive. Today was a relaxing day for you, at least it was supposed to be.

You were a protector, it's what made Johnnie fall so in love with you. You were so kind and caring for him, constantly taking care of him when he had those days when he just couldn't take it anymore.

You never did it with the intention to receive it though. So when Johnnie knocked on your door and you trudged to open it for him it shocked you how much he did care.

You tried to make yourself look strong but as your eyes locked tears pooled crowding your vision. You turned away from the door and him as you covered your face with your hands.

You couldn't stop the pull of dread that filled your heart. You felt your knees touch the floor as you collapsed onto the ground. You could hear the door close and Johnnie rushed to your side. He was speaking about something, maybe he was saying how you were going to be ok.

Maybe he was begging you to tell him what was going on. You weren't sure. All you could focus on was ringing in your ears, the thumping of your heart, and the crocodile tears that leaped from your face.

His hands ran against your back and shoulders. Eventually, you were able to look up at him. He wasn't wearing any makeup, just a hat with a button-up and skinny jeans. All you could mutter out was a broken “I'm sorry.”

Your voice cracked and shattered as you spoke. Your boyfriend and the love of your life stared at you back, his face heating up his own tears forming. He sat with you behind your couch on the floor.

“Let's move to the couch,” he said his voice coming out falsely confident, you shook your head, yes taking his hand that helped you up. He wasn't used to helping people like this, he would try his best and maybe give advice.

But he tried to do what you did with him. He sat you down on the couch, taking note of your appearance. You had dulled messy hair, dark almost permanent circles under your eyes, you looked pale and gaunt your face seemingly shrunk.

He rushed away from you, getting you a cup of water, something you did for him without fail. He set it in your hands knowing the coolness would ground you. He moved to your side sitting down next to you. He hesitantly placed his hand on your chest feeling your heartbeat.

It was rapid and intense as he pulled you close to him, wrapping his other arm around you and tilting his head on your shoulder. As you slowly sipped the water between hiccups he felt your heartbeat slow and your breath wasn't so rapid. You were calming down.

Once you finished your cup you set it down and shifted so your head was resting on his almost bare chest. He moved his hat off and sat normally on the couch as you cuddled up to him. He wasn't sure what he should say that could help.

After all, he wasn't very good at this but he so desperately wanted to be. “I don't know when this really started for me. As long as I can remember I was different. Things that seemed so small for other people worried me so much,” you spoke, finally breaking the silence.

He knew some of your past and struggles but nothing too deep. He wanted to hear them from you. This was the best way to do that. He didn't say anything yet, he just looked down and observed you as you played against him.

“I felt this feeling when I was all alone and it was cold and rainy outside. It was almost like a shiver up my spine. I was feeling so safe and protected all alone like that, if I hadn't frozen I could have stayed in the rain forever.” he wasn't sure where exactly your story was going but he knew you and he also knew it was important.

“I was so comfortable with being alone, that stayed with me. There are days more often than not when I cannot do anything. I sit and rot in my bed all day, I don't sleep, I don't eat, I don't do anything.” Johnnie did not know that. He knew since he was busy with filming you often just stayed home.

It doesn't sound like that was a good thing, however. “I am drowning but I've pretended to stay afloat for so long. I'm so fucking tired Johnnie I don't know what I'm going to do anymore.” Your voice was calm but powerful.

You didn't move but you could hear Johnnie's heartbeat increase. “I haven't taken care of myself in so long.” this was whispered, for a second you weren't sure if you had said it out loud. You suppose you did when Johnnie pulled you away from you, your confession hung on the air like wet clothes.

He took a second before he nearly engulfed you with a hug. He squeezed your whole body tight, “Please don't leave.” was all he whispered in your ear. He cradled your body tightly. He slowly started to rock you back and forth. The lull of his body slowly sent you to sleep.

[byunbun01]

TBZ PROMPTS | 18+ content.

(( hihi ^^ so my friend @oceansuncherry has given me prompts for each member of the boyz and these are the little scenarios that came to mind, please enjoy !! each members content will be tagged accordingly , as i edit this post with each member i'm realizing how out of control i am... ))

 ♡ Explicit, 14k.

 ♡ Reader is gender neutral in every scenario, because in this house we love being delulu and inclusive ^-^

 ♡ All members included.  Sangyeon - “Do you think you can handle it?”

[[ boss /worker, thigh riding, make out, there is alcohol involved ]]

— You’re currently out for drinks with a few of your co-workers, honestly, you didn’t really want to go but you’ve already denied so many invitations that everyone in the office was beginning to think you hated them. It wasn’t that you disliked your co-workers, but you would just rather be curled up on the couch with a glass of wine watching a new drama after dealing with emails and phone calls all day.

“Y/n, you want more?” Sangyeon questions, holding a bottle of soju in his hands.

You slid your hand over the top of your cup, shaking your head, “No, thank you.”

He nods. Setting the bottle back down on the table to bring his freshly poured drink to his mouth. You watch out of the corner of your eyes, watching the way he laughs at the others' jokes and sips his drink. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbow, exposing his long arms and a silver watch on his wrist.

You’ve already had two glasses of peach soju and you’re warming up, feeling your cheeks warm and your thoughts swaying. Sangyeon was so handsome, reminding you of the lead in one of the office dramas that you had been watching recently. It was dangerous, thinking about him this way, he was above you… You were just an intern and he was the one in charge of overlooking your group. He was just so friendly and handsome.

“Ah, it’s getting late,” One of the other interns hummed, their heads swaying as they checked their phones.

Everyone began to excuse themselves one by one… But Sangyeon kept drinking, laughing and chatting with his co-workers. 

“Y/n, are you feeling okay?” Sangyeon questions, tilting his head, “You’ve been so quiet all evening?”

“Oh,” You hum, nodding your head and looking down at your barely touched drink, “Just enjoying myself Mr. Lee.”

He tuts his tongue, “You don’t have to be so formal after work hours.”

“Sorry…” You mumble, almost calling him by his office name again but stopping yourself. You pick up your drink, taking another sip. 

Sangyeon smirks. His eyes drag over you slowly before turning back to one of the older workers. And suddenly it feels like it’s a million degrees in the restaurant. You excuse yourself to the washroom. 

Leaning up against the wall, you touch your cheek, it’s warm to the touch and you exhale…Why did he look at you like that? There was no way you had just imagined all of that, maybe it was best to call it a night and go home as well. You had almost prepared yourself mentally enough to go back out there and excuse yourself when the door opens and Sangyeon appears. He smiles, stepping towards you and suddenly it feels like your heartbeat has multiplied. Why was he so handsome?

“I-I was just about to say my goodbyes,” You stutter, trying to avoid any unnecessary interaction with him. You tried to step past him but you were stopped by his hand on your waist. 

You tried to step back, trying to escape him but all you’ve managed to do is back yourself into the wall and he takes the opportunity to lean into you. 

“You’ve stared at me all night,” Sangyeon breathes, “It was so hard to pay attention you know, you look so…” His hands tighten on your waist, leaning into your neck, “Pretty…You’re always trying to steal my attention, hmm?” 

“Mr. Lee,” You gasp, squirming against him. 

Sangyeon grabs your hands, pinning them above your head… Your skin feels like it’s on fire and your heart is throbbing. He smells so good, the mix of soju with his cologne has your head spinning. 

“If you keep calling me that, I’m not going to be able to contain myself,” Sangyeon groans, resting his head on your shoulder, “Do you think you can handle it? ”

You squeeze your thighs together. He’s holding your hands up with only one hand, the other dragging down the front of your chest. Stopping at your waist again, his fingers squeezing as he inhales and exhales. He slots his knee between your thighs. And you let him. Stretching out your neck as his teeth graze your neck, peppering you with kisses. 

“A-Ah, Mr. Lee,” You moan…Squirming your hands, but his grip tightens. Biting down into your neck. 

He tugs you forward by your waist. You gasp at the friction, grinding yourself over his thigh, rocking your hips with the rhythm of his strong hands. His lips against your neck. There was no way you were leaving this bathroom without such a visible mark. 

“You can’t leave a mark,” You pant breathlessly, “They’ll know.” 

“Embarrassed of me, babe?” Sangyeon whispers against your neck…”How about here then.” 

His lips entangle with yours, kissing you deeply. His tongue slips into your mouth and you can taste the soju on his tongue. Your own intoxication has your mind spinning, you’re so dizzy you can’t think straight. Grinding yourself on his thigh seeking your own pleasure, lost in the pressure that was pooling between your thighs. 

“So eager,” He coos, kissing down your jaw, his lips pressed against your neck again, “I want to hear you, sweetheart.” 

Sangyeon lets go of your hands, both of his hands now attached to your waist. Squeezing and tugging…You can’t help but moan so pathetically. Falling into Sangyeon, burying your face into his chest, panting and gasping for air. 

“Say my name,” Sangyeon groans, his voice raspy and heavy. 

“Mr. Lee,” You moan, “Sir, I’m going to cum…” 

“Fuck,” Sangyeon exhales, “Cum for me sweetheart.” 

His hand slips between your thighs, rubbing you through your clothes and it’s game over. You gasped and jerked forward, your entire body trembling as you rode out the pleasure that surged between you.

“How are you going to call my name in the office now?” Sangyeon teases, his hands dragging over your thighs. 

You lean back, resting your head against the cold wall... You stare at him, smiling, “I think I’ll be fine, Mr.Lee..” 

He scoffs, biting his lip and nodding, “Touche...Touche..” 

You had never expected this side of him. He was always so sweet and kind in the office, walking in late with donuts and coffee. Always smiling widely and catering to everyone's needs, you would never expect in a million lifetimes he’d have you pinned up against the wall taking what he wanted from you. Jacob - “I’ve wanted something like this for a while now.”

 [[ rough sex, nails, spanking, jacob lets out his anger in a healthy manner, minor derogatory names (slut) , jacob manhandling you is so hot wtf ]]

– Your boyfriend Jacob has always enjoyed gaming, spending a lot of his spare time playing matches with his friends. You’ve never minded though, truthfully you found it cute and enjoyed that you could both be in the same room enjoying each other's company while doing the things you enjoy.

You’re currently laying in his bed. Wearing one of his hoodies and no pants, cocooned in his comforter while one of your dramas plays on the screen. Your full focus is on the show, reading the subtitles and lounging in your comfort. But the focus is lost when Jacob groans, frustrated. His fist clenched, clearly, he wanted to hit something but instead, he breathed in and out.

“You good?” You question, reaching for the remote to pause your show.

“Yeah,” He muttered. Reaching for his mouse again, there were a few clicks before he lazily threw his mouse. Leaning back in his gaming chair.

He was silent.

And you knew that internally his mind was a fucking storm right now.

You pulled the blankets off yourself, crawling out of the bed. He looks up at you tilting his head as you crawl into his lap.

“What are you doing?” He questions.

“You’re upset,” You hum, “I want to make it better.”

You place your hands on his shoulders, adjusting yourself so that your knees are a little more comfortable in the chair, straddling Jacob. You arch out your back, sliding a hand down his chest until your hand is now between your own thighs… You brush your fingers over his crotch.

“How are you going to make it better, hmm?” Jacob questions. His hands latch onto your hips, one slipping under your hoodie and pressing into your back.

“Take your anger out on me,” You say sweetly, your smile as you sit back a bit. 

Jacob’s intrigued, chewing on his lip as his eyes drag over you slowly. He slips his hand under the front of your sweater, his fingers tracing the waistband of your underwear… slipping his fingers in and pulling them and letting go, the elastic snaps back against your skin and you gasp.

“Limits?”

You shake your head, “I'll tell you if it’s too much.”

He inhales sharply, slipping his hand under your hoodie and dragging his nails over your stomach, “Fuck, I’ve wanted something like this for a while now.”

“Mmm,” You hum, tilting her head back.

He drags his nails down the inside of your thighs. The heat pools on your skin, welts already forming in the wake of his wandering hands. He squeezes your thighs, pinching skin between his hands. He’s silent, touching and feeling you, but it’s so rough… His fingers were laced with rage and turmoil.

“I want you,” He groans, “Get up.”

You do as he says. Climbing off his lap again. He grabs you by the hips pulling you into him. His face pressed into your stomach as he pulled down your underwear, he kissed your thigh, pushing your underwear past your knees. They fall to your ankles and you step out of them. Your hands cradling Jacob’s head, your fingers weaving into his hair. He grabs your ass, squeezing the skin before pulling his hand back.

The slap rings in your ear, and you jerk forward, fisting his hair and tugging his head back. He looks up at you smirking, his tongue prodded into his cheek like some cocky asshole. Fuck, you’re so turned on by this version of him. He slaps your ass again.

Your reaction is exactly what he’s looking for… He slaps your ass again, this time dragging his nails down your thighs. Your squirm, your skin inflamed. But it feels good. His hands are on your hips, pushing you back. He stands up. Towering over you as he pushed you around so effortlessly.

Jacob puts his hand on your neck, pushing down, “If you make a mess, I’ll be upset, baby.”

At first, you were confused until your chest was flush with his keyboard, the led lights were glowing, flashing an aurora of reds and blues…If you messed up anything on his desk, there was probably hundreds of dollars worth of equipment. Fuck. Fuck.

You’re so focused on holding yourself up. It takes you by surprise the way he kicks your feet apart, lining his cock up with your hole. He fucks into you quickly, the stretch takes you by surprise, but it has you moaning. He doesn’t give you any time to gather yourself before his hands are on your hips, fucking into you hard and deep. Your hands are gripping the edge of his desk, trying with everything in your power to not let yourself put your weight down on his keyboard.

He’s fucking into you so roughly that the desk has begun to shake. And your entire world feels like it’s crashing down around you. It’s so deep you feel like you’re going to cum in seconds, his nails digging into your hips.

Jacob is grunting and groaning, letting out a series of fucks and you’re so fucking tight, you can’t help but clench around him. Everything inside of you pulsing and throbbing.

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck…'“ You moan, “Ugh, harder, fuck me harder please.”

You couldn’t even possibly imagine that he could fuck you harder, but he does. He pulls out slowly, before grabbing your hips and pulling you back into him with one quick movement. Holy fuck. It hurt so good. You’re so wet it’s dripping down your thighs. He pushed you back into the desk, slapping your ass a few more times.

“What a good slut, you take me so well..”

He pulls you back into him and your entire body feels numb, you can barely hold yourself up anymore. You feel so dizzy. It was like Jacob was a completely different person. You knew he got mad but you couldn’t even begin to imagine this was how this was going to happen. 

"Cum inside of me,” You moan, so delirious for pleasure.

Jacob fucks into you, his rhythm steady and his hands latched to your hips as he pulls you back into him. You’re moaning with each thrust. You have your head shoved into the bend of your arm, drooling all over the sleeve of your sweater. Panting hard.

“Shit,” Jacob hisses. Pushing himself in as deep as he could and holding himself there.

You can feel him pulsing inside of you and it feels so inexplicably good. You feel so numb and sensitive. You can’t even remember when you came, but you felt exhausted like you had cum over a hundred times…

Jacob stays inside of you. Basking in the afterglow. 

“Holy fuck,” You groan, wiping your mouth on the sleeve of your sweater before standing back up. You examine the desk and there is little to no damage, just a few figures had fallen over.

“Thank you,” Jacob hums, grabbing the back of the sweater and stumbling back, you fall into his lap, and he wraps his arms around your waist, nuzzling his head into your back, “I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

“Mmm, I’m good… Are you feeling better?” 

“Yeah, a lot better.”

 Younghoon - “It’s not something that I can easily forget.”

[[ heavy make-out, touching in public, confession, virgin reader, finger fucking, idk why this one is a little soft??? ;u; ]]

– You had almost gotten away with it, almost… 

That night replaying in your head, you still couldn't believe the way that you had kissed Younghoon. You could blame the liquor or the chanting of all of your friends outside of the stupid closet. But it was all so cliché…

7 minutes in heaven. It was a game for kids and yet there you were, the minutes passed by like seconds. Wrapped up in Younghoon with his tongue in your mouth and your back against a cupboard. It was the furthest thing from heaven you had ever known.

But that night was weeks again. And the shame was eating you alive, you were a virgin and yet you were so lost to the temptation that your friend had to drag you out of the closet. Vodka and Cherry whiskey mixed on your tongue. It was so embarrassing. You hoped that Younghoon had forgotten about it… He was the head of the musical arts department. So thankfully running into him on campus was the least of your worries.

You had let your guard down. Going to karaoke with your friends, two drinks in and you were belting out a song with your best friend. You were aware that your friends had invited another group of friends to come and join but you were having fun, dancing around with the mic in your hand.

Everyone was laughing and singing along, the table was full of drinks and snacks. It was a good night. 

When your song ends you turn around to hand off the mic to somebody else, and your stomach drops. Being so absorbed in your musical number that you hadn’t noticed that everyone else had arrived. And Younghoon was sitting across from you, his eyes watching you. 

He looks so handsome today…

One of Younghoon’s friends jumps up, snatching the mic from your hand and you left walking to your spot awkwardly. You sit down next to him, wondering if the tension is so obvious that you’re exposing yourself to the entire room that you haven't been able to stop thinking about Younghoon. It had been weeks but you hadn’t forgotten the way he tasted or the way his hands felt under your shirt. Was it just the desire? Or have you developed a crush on Younghoon?

God. You felt like you could die right now, letting your shame and embarrassment be buried with you. 

“Hey,” Younghoon greets, smiling... “You’re y/n, right?”

"Yeah,” You answer, reaching for your drink off the table and bringing it to your lips, you have to fight yourself from finishing off the glass. The liquor courage was a little too tempting, “Younghoon, right?”

He chuckles, leaning into you a bit with his arms crossed over his chest, “This small talk is a little boring, y/n... Do you know how hard it was to get you alone again?”

“Ah, sorry,” You mutter, not even sure what you’re really apologizing for, “Let’s just forget that happened okay?”

“It’s not something that I can easily forget,” Younghoon breathes, his hand creeping up onto your thigh.

You inhale. Looking down at his hand and back at your friends that were all fixated on the screen of flashing lyrics. There was no one paying attention to you. But you still felt like all eyes were on you… His hands slid further up your thigh and you swear you could see stars, your stomach twisting.

You jump up.

Everyone looks at you and you awkwardly smile, excusing yourself with a quick excuse of needing to use the washroom badly. You stumble out of the dark room, and the second the door opens you’re greeted with cold air that feels nice. Your cheeks are so hot and your heart is racing.

Why the fuck would he touch you like that around all of your friends? What if you had both been caught?

You stumble forward, heading towards the back door that people often used to go for cigarette breaks or to get some fresh air. It could easily get stuffy in a room full of people. You stepped outside and it was exactly what you needed to help calm down but you’ve only just realized that you’ve forgotten your phone inside, tucked away in your purse. You sigh. Pressing your back into the cold wall.

How were you supposed to go back in there? Fuck.

The door opens and you can’t help but laugh as you watch Younghoon step toward you. Because of course he would chase after you and get you alone, and now you had no excuse or reason to get away from him.

“No…No, go away,” You say while shaking your head, you didn’t really mean it. Fuck, you wanted him so badly. And you hated that he had this effect on you. 

“If that’s what you want, I’ll leave you alone.”

He turns to go back inside and you feel yourself begin to panic. You reach out grabbing onto the sleeve of his sweater, stopping him from leaving. He turns around, smirking. You barely have a chance to register what you’ve done as he pushed you up against the wall. His hands are on your hips and you’re squirming and gasping for air. His lips are on your neck, sucking the skin in between his teeth and biting down. His hands are rough and dry, dragging up your soft tummy. You don’t even know when or how his hands had gotten under your shirt so quickly.

“Younghoon,” You gasp, “What if someone sees us…”

“So?” He whispers, “Let them catch us, I’m not ashamed that I like you.”

You feel like you're about to explode. Your heart racing and your mind dissolving into a muddled mess.

“Kiss me,” You beg, “Please…”

And he does. His mouth crashes against yours, the kiss is so deep you’re left panting for air and pulling away in an attempt trying to regather yourself. He’s breathing heavily. Pressing his body weight into you as he pants against your chest.

“I’m a virgin,” You whimper, nervous and beginning to panic.

“That’s okay,” Younghoon nods his head, “I’ll go easy on you.”

He kisses you again. This time his hands are on your neck, holding your face in his hands while his lips meld with yours, his tongue slipping inside your mouth, swallowing every pliant noise you made. He shoves his hand into our pants, massaging you slowly. You don’t stop him, melting into his touch. Kissing you until he’s satisfied you're ready… Pressing two fingers at your entrance and slipping them inside of you slowly. You mewl so pathetically, your hands clutching into his sweater. He kisses your forehead, praising you for taking him so well. His fingers are pumping in and out of you. You bury your face into his chest, trying to muffle your voice that you can’t seem to control. 

“You’re so tight,” He croons, “Fuck…” 

You moan. Allowing Younghoon to take complete control of you, clenching around his fingers as the pleasure built up until you couldn’t handle it anymore. Trembling as you came, panting into his chest as you tried to gather yourself. So overwhelmed by him.

Younghoon holds you in his arms, praising you sweetly as you come down from your high… You can’t believe you’ve just let him finger you in the back of an alleyway. You barely knew him, but fuck you wouldn’t mind getting to know him better.  Hyunjae - “Is that a challenge?”

[[ car sex, finger fucking, you challenge hyunjae he can't make you cum, guess who cums lolol, freinds to lovers vibes ]]

“I bet you can’t even make me cum,” You chuckle, tossing one of your french fries at him, grabbing another and shoving it into your mouth.

“Is that a challenge?” He cocks his head, “If you wanted me to fuck you, all you had to do is ask.”

He picks up the fry off his lap and shoves it into his mouth.

“Shut up,” You roll your eyes, reaching for your drink from the cup holder, you take a sip cleansing your palette, “I’m just saying. It’s like impossible, everyone always talks about these mind-blowing orgasms and yeah sex feels good but I’m always so in my fucking head that I can’t cum or something. And if I do, it’s because I had to do it.”

“I’ll do it,” Hyunjae challenges, “If I can’t make you cum, I’ll buy you dinner for a week.”

“Mmm, two weeks,” You smirk.

“Fine, but if I win you have to do anything I want.”

The realization hits, holy fuck you’re going to fuck your best friend? You’ve known Hyunjae most of your life, and you were both so close that it wasn’t even surprising anymore when people would question if you were both a couple. You’ve never thought about him like this… That was a lie, occasionally you would steal a glance or have a question if you liked him. But that was normal…right?

You take another sip of your coke and set it back in the cupholder, “So… uhm now?”

Hyunjae chuckled, “You don’t sound so confident now.”

Scoffing, you set your drink in the cupholder, “Back seat? Or here? I won’t lose to you.”

“Purposely not getting off is against the rules,” Hyunjae groaned, feigning annoyance as he reached for his phone and began to scroll, “Backseat.”

You nod. Opening up the passenger side door and climbing into the backseat. The spot that Hyunjae parked to eat was always abandoned so worrying about someone seeing you both wasn’t a thought in your mind. You feel a little anxious as you wait for him to climb into the backseat with you.

Hyunjae puts on a playlist that’s familiar to you, it’s one you both made together combining your favourite songs before he gets out of the driver’s seat and opens up the back door. You adjust yourself, leaning up against the door, your head against the cold window. He kneels onto the seat, closing the door before he crawls between your legs.

“Limits?” Hyunjae questioned, resting his hand on the top of your thigh.

You shake your head. Your stomach all of a sudden doing flips as his hand dragged up your thighs slowly. This is really happening… Holy fuck. This was really happening.

His hands drag up your thighs. You’re both silent, Hyunjae grabs the waistband of your pants, dragging them down while you lift your hips. He pulls your pants down to your ankles. He’s so gentle with you. You bite your lip as his hands grip your inner thighs, spreading your legs apart.

You watch him, taking in the way his expression changes… The way his eyes stare at you like he’s going to consume you. You’ve never seen this side of him before. He lowers his head, kissing in between your thighs, he looks up at you as his hand begins to massage you. You gasp, tilting your head back and looking away.

It’s teasing the way he touches you so slowly. It’s driving you insane.

“Hyunjae…” You whine. Reaching out to weave your fingers in your hair.

“You’re so pretty,” He coos, placing a wet kiss on the inside of your thigh, “Be good for me, hmm?”

“Shut up,” You mutter, your fingers tightening in his hair and tugging.

He chuckles, brushing his hand over your hole. Circling it with two fingers, it has you jerking forward. He pulled back his hand long enough to spit onto his fingers. Smearing the spit at your entrance and pushing in. Sinking his fingers in knuckle-deep. You can’t help but gasp.

“So tight,” Hyunjae breathes, pulling his fingers back out and in, slowly.

You can feel them inside of you and you can't help but clench around his fingers. He smirks, lifting his head to watch the pleasure on your face. He pumps his fingers in and out of you at a faster pace, quick jabs that make you moan. It sounds so needy and fake the way his fingers have you biting at your lip in an attempt to stop your noises from being so loud.

Why was Hyunjae having this effect on you?

Normally you were always so in your head, but right now with each stroke of his fingers, you can feel yourself slipping, succumbing to the pleasure that pooled between your thighs.

“Fuck me,” You whimper, “God. I want your cock, please.”

Hyunjae tilts his head, looking at you with excitement in his eyes. He sits back, undoing his pants to pull out his cock. God, you hate the way your mouth waters staring at his cock. He strokes it a few times and it has your thighs trembling with desperation.

“Lay down a bit,” Hyunjae says, “You might hit your head.”

You nod, lowering yourself on the seat until your head is flush with the seat. The anticipation is killing you, the way he crawls in between your thighs, one hand on his cock and the other holding your leg up. He presses his cock to your entrance and slowly pushes forward.

The stretch has your lips parting, it feels so much better than his fingers, so deep and pressing against your walls in all the right places. You feel dizzy, your cheeks burning up. It’s like heatstroke. He falls forward, his chest against yours, he puts a hand above your head, cradling you as he begins to fuck into you, each thrust harder and deeper. You have your eyes closed, allowing the waves of pleasure to take over.

You think about how his arm is above your head, protecting you from hitting your head against the door with each thrust and it’s game over. Clenching around him. Panting and gasping for air, your heart racing.

“You’re so fucking tight,” Hyunjae moans, burying his head in the crook of your neck, his lips against your neck.

“Shut up,” You whimper, it sounds so pathetic on the verge of tears from how good it felt, you just wanted him to be quiet, to stop having this effect on you.

“You sound so pretty.”

Hyunjae moans in your ears, it’s so fucking hot. Your stomach twists and your thighs tremble. It’s so hot and sweaty, he’s suffocating you with his body weight on top of you. Fucking into you at the right angle, you whimper, your entire body trembling as you cum.

“Fuck…Fuck…” You hiss as he continues to thrust inside of you.

Your hands are on his back, your fingers clutching his sweater tightly trying to ground yourself as he continues to milk out your pleasure with each thrust, you can’t take it anymore, squirming with each stroke from how sensitive you feel. You feel like you’re seeing stars, your eyes fluttering with each pulse.

“I’m gonna cum,” He moans, trying to pull himself out.

But you grab him, wrapping your leg around his hips and holding him in place, tightening around his pulsing cock. You can feel cum inside of you and it’s the best feeling you’ve ever felt, you feel like you’ve cum again. Everything is throbbing and your heart is racing like you just ran a fucking marathon.

“Shit,” You groan, only just realizing what you’ve done… Letting the heat of the moment get to you, your thighs trembling.

“Ugh,” Hyunjae mumbles, trying to lift himself up, he looks at you with apologetic eyes even though you were the one who had held him captive, “I tried to pull out.”

You grab his face and lift your head, kissing him. You kiss him until you can’t breathe, throwing your head back into the seat, “Guess, you won.”

Juyeon - “Are you sure you can handle me?”

[[ college au, sub juyeon,  enemies to lover type of vibe, heavy make-out, pet names ( kitten ), hand-job, you find out juyeon’s weakness, aftercare ]]

 – You don’t know exactly how it happened, but here you were in the bedroom of your enemy… The guy who has always placed first in everything, always making you come second. He looks tense reading through the textbook, fidgeting with the pen in his hand. 

“I can feel you staring,” Juyeon groans, setting his book on the table and glaring up at you, “What?”

“It’s just weird,” You lean forward into the table, smiling, “I just assumed you were some kind of android but your room is actually normal, and look no charging station.” 

“Ha…So funny,” Juyeon shakes his head, “This project is worth 30% of our grade, so can you please focus.” 

“We’ve been working for hours already… I’m hungry.” 

Juyeon rolls his eyes, “Fine. We can take a break but we have to at least get an outline done tonight, so if you want to be stuck here with me longer be my guest.” He gets up from the small table in his room and grabs his phone that’s on his bed, “I’ve got ramen or we can order something.” 

“Ramen,” You hum, standing up and stretching your arms above your head. You moan at the stretch, it felt so good after sitting cramped up at the table for the last three hours. But Juyeon glances up at you and he looked flustered. 

God, he was so weird. 

He cooked the ramen while you walked around the living room, snickering at the family photos on the walls, he looked like such a dork as a child. He’s silent. Back turned to you as he mixes in the seasoning packets. 

It smells so good, your mouth begins to water as your nose carries you to the smell. You lean your head into the stove, looking at the bubbling pot of ramen that smelled so spicy and delicious. Ugh, it was going to taste so good. 

“You might get burned.”

“Aweh, you're worried about me,” You tease, bumping your shoulder into his playfully

He jumps back a bit, looking at you with those same terrified eyes from earlier but this time you take offense. You barely even touched him and yet he was acting like you were some disease. God, he’s always been so full of himself, constantly acting like he’s better than everyone just because he’s handsome and smart.

“Jeez, don’t have to get your panties in a twist, I was just joking,” You scoff, your lip curling as you tut your tongue to signify your distaste for you, “I know you don’t like me, but we have to work on this project multiple times a week, so can we at least be friends?”

“I don’t,” Juyeon shook his head, “I don’t dislike you.”

“Could have fooled me,” You say, leaning back into the counter and crossing your arms over your chest.

Juyeon turned off the stovetop and lifted the pot, setting it down on a coaster on the counter, pulling open a drawer and grabbing out a second pair of chopsticks and holding them out to you. You grumble, stepping forward and taking them. You both stand in silence eating the ramen out of the pot. It was as delicious as it smelled, and the spice was at the perfect level. But after a few bites, Juyeon puts his chopsticks down on the counter.

“I’m gonna go continue reading, clean up when you’re done.”

You don’t get a word in before he’s gone, you’re too hungry to mind, gobbling down the food and rinsing the pot out in the sink. When you head back to the room, it’s obvious how pink Juyeon’s cheeks have turned and his lips are red.

“You don’t like spicy food, do you?” You question, sitting down at the table.

He shakes his head.

“Then why did you let me pick that one?”

“You wanted it,” He shrugs, staring down at the textbook in his lap. 

You notice it’s lower than usual, sprawled out over his lap like he’s trying to hide something and the pieces are starting to make sense… No, there was no way…

“Juyeon… Are you okay?” You coo.

“What,” He looks up at you, his eyes wide, “Y-Yeah, I’m fine.”

You crawl towards him and you can watch the way his expression falters and it’s so painfully clear. You snatch the book out of his lap and you gasp at what he’s been hiding. He’s turned on, sweatpants tented and his cheeks flush a deeper pink. You toss the book onto the table and he begins to stumble on his words.

“It’s not what it looks like,” He whimpers, “It just happened, I promise.”

“Aweh, It’s not from me,” You pout, feigning innocence as you reach out, brushing your fingers over his swollen cock through his pants.

He moans and you stare up at him. There has never been a time in your life when you could beat Juyeon, he was always smarter and stronger in every competition. But right now it looked like he was about to cry just at you touching his cock. And it was a good feeling…

“I can help you,” You offer, leaning forward and lowering your face closer to his crotch, “Do you want that?” You look up at him through your lashes and he’s squirming, “I can take care of you, baby.”

“P-please,” He whines, "Are you sure you can handle me?"

You apply pressure, circling your palm over his bulge, resting your head in his lap as you look up at him. Watching his expression, watching as he falls apart and it brings a smile to your face.

“Feel good?” You ask, reaching for the string of his sweatpants and pulling on it until it comes undone.

You pull them down enough that his cock is now resting against his shirt, it’s so swollen and red.

“You poor thing,” You gasp, curling your fingers around his length, “Let me kiss it better.”

You’ve barely begun to stroke him and he’s already squirming around, his lips parting and moaning so sweetly. He’s such a fucking wreck already.

“Call me your kitten.”

You perk up, running your tongue over the slit in his cock. You kiss the tip softly, before looking at him.

“You’re such a pretty kitten. So eager and well behaved…”

You lick the inside of your palm and use it to circle the tip of his cock, massaging him while you stroke his length. You sit up, your eyes washing over him. Watching the way he jerks, his entire body trembling while he’s panting hard.

“Are you going to cum, kitten?”

You can’t believe the effect such a nickname has on him, throwing his head back as his cock pulsed in your hand. You continue to massage him, using his cum as lubricant until he’s whining and begging for you to stop.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Juyeon says sadly, You've only just noticed that he’s been crying.

“It’s our little secret,” You promise him, “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

You head to the kitchen, searching around for a bowl and cloth. You fill it with warm water and return to his room. And he hasn’t moved an inch, he’s just staring at you like some lost puppy. You kneel in front of him, squeezing out the excess water and cleaning up the mess you’ve made.

“All better,” You smile, tilting your head, “Wanna finish our outline? I’ll order some takeout.”

He nods slowly. But you still don’t feel like you’ve done enough. You set the bowl of water aside and fall into him. Nuzzling your head into his chest. You can hear the way his heart is racing, you lift your head and kiss his cheek quickly.

“You were so good,” You praise, ruffling his hair and smiling brightly.

It seems to do the trick. He smiles brightly, “You don’t think I’m weird?”

You shake your head, “Is it weird that I liked being in control?”

Juyeon shook his head.

“Good, we agree on something for once,” You smile, pinching his cheek and cooing before you sit up again, “Okay, back to studying. As much as round two could be fun, I don’t want to be here all night.”

Kevin - “I don’t like to be ignored.”

[[ hard dom, hickeys/love bites, brat tamer, orgasm denial, punishment, spanking, manhandling, aftercare ]]

“Babe,” Kevin calls you from the kitchen.

You groan, clicking your mouse trying to focus on your game. You’ll answer him in just a minute, you continue clicking. Your entire team is in a raid and you can’t exactly pause. Minutes later and you’ve completely forgotten that your boyfriend has even called.

You’re sitting in your game chair, one knee tucked to your chest and you’re leaned forward, so fixated on the screen that you didn't notice that Kevin had come into your office. He watched for a while, arms crossed over his chest. Pondering what he should do to teach you a lesson.

Because truthfully. You knew he was preparing dinner and you were instructed to not play a round until after you had eaten. So, you were in the wrong. Just as you were about to beat the boss, your world began to spin, physically. You had no choice but to let go of the mouse but it didn’t stop you from trying to turn the chair back around. But Kevin overpowered you and he didn’t look happy.

“What the fuck,” You groan, trying to look back at the computer.

Kevin simpers. Reaching over and pressing the power button.

Your jaw drops… Typical gamer rage immediately took over as you began to cuss him out, you reached out trying to hit your fists into his chest. But he grabs your wrists and pins them onto the arms of the chair.

“You done?” He questions, his eyes dragging over you.

“I was coming,” You huff, glaring up at him.

“I don’t like to be ignored,” Kevin breathes… His grip tightens around your wrists, “And most importantly, I don’t like to be ignored over a video game you were told not to play yet.”

“It was just one round,” You pout, and your demeanour softens. Batting your eyelashes playfully, “I’m sorry…”

“Nice try,” Kevin coos, leaning in and biting down into your neck. He sucks the skin into his mouth. Making sure that he’d leave a mark.

It takes you by surprise, the sudden burn of his teeth sinking into your neck. It’s so hot and wet, the pain radiating down into your chest. You whine, squirming around in the chair but there is no way you’re going to escape your punishment.

“I’m sorry,” You whimper, squeezing your thighs together as he kisses up your neck.

“I’m going to teach you some manners, and since you didn’t come when you were called you won’t be allowed to cum tonight, you hear me? Use that naughty mouth of yours to tell me when you’re close”

“No-no,” You gasp, trying to get away from him, “I promise, I’ll behave.” If behaving was that easy, you wouldn't be in this situation. 

“Too late, sweetheart,” Kevin simpers, caressing your cheek sweetly before he grabs you by the hair, dragging you out of the chair and up against the wall.

— 

Kevin grabs the back of your thigh, lifting and guiding his cock to your entrance so effortlessly, he fucks into you, his hips flush with your ass in seconds. His cock reaches so deep it has you seeing stars. You can’t take it anymore.

You feel like you’re going to pass out, so exhausted from nearly coming multiple times already, he knows your body well, and he knows when you’re about to come. Even before you can whimper that you’re close. He’s already pulling away. You’ve almost come at least a dozen times already, and he’s still going. Fucking you in every position. Your body was littered with red marks. 

Between your legs was so numb, swollen and dripping in your pleasure.

“Aweh, are you going to cum sweetheart?” He simpers.

Fuck. He was so hot.

His bangs were pushed back, sweat forming on his hairline… His muscles were so defined, abs slicked in sweat. He gives one more thrust before he’s pulling out again and drops your leg. 

You can’t help but crumble to the floor.

Your thighs are trembling, unable to hold yourself up and you can’t stop panting. You squeeze your thighs together but you’re immediately scolded. 

“I-I can’t,” You whimper, falling forward and shoving your hands between your thighs to touch yourself.

Kevin tuts, “Still breaking rules? Guess you haven’t learned any manners yet.” He sinks his hands into your hair, tugging you back… You stare up at him with pleading eyes as his hand connects with your cheek. He simpers. 

You’re left whimpering as you raise your hands in the air and begin to cry harder. The tears are so hot as they stream down your face and bead down your chest. You began to blubber out apologies. You feel dizzy and hot and you can’t help but gasp for air between each sob.

“There you go,” Kevin smiles, crouching down to caress your cheek sweetly. His thumb wipes away the tears, “Are you going to behave?”

You nod your head. Desperate to please him… to prove that you can really behave.

He kisses you so roughly. Lips mashing together in such an unmatched tempo, his tongue running over your lip before he’s pulling away again. You stretch out your neck, whining at his absence.

“We’ll end here then,” Kevin says while standing up, “I think you’ve learned your lesson.”

He goes to step away but you reach out for him, grabbing onto his thigh and clinging to him like a lost child. You couldn’t bear to be left alone, you needed him.

“More,” You whimper, looking up at him through your wet lashes.

“So broken and mindless,” Kevin coos, petting your head sweetly, “Such a pretty cock whore for me...”

You’re so fucking broken, a crumpling mess as he picks you off the ground and tosses you into your gaming chair. You’re blubbering incoherent words as he pushes his cock back inside of you. His hands are on your hips, pulling you back into him like you’re some toy for his pleasure. 

“You’re so tight,” He breathes sharply, hissing at the way you squeeze around his cock. 

With each thrust, you can feel yourself about to explode… You’re so sensitive, trying to pull away but you’re no match to his strength. Hips burning from the welts forming under his nails as he holds onto you tightly, pulling your ass back into him. Slamming his hips forward at the same time.

You’re going to come.

You can’t tell him.

Everything is moving so fast. Cuming on his cock, your insides constricting and swallowing his cock deep inside of you. You begin to tremble and shake, screaming into the chair as you finally cum and it’s too much. He cums with you. Pulsing back and forth as he cums deep inside of you.

He grabs your ass, exhaling. You both just sit there panting, trying to catch your breath.

You couldn’t form a cohesive thought if your life depended on it.

“The ramen is probably gross by now,” Kevin sighs, running his hand over your back, “It’s not too late, if we shower quickly we could go for a drive and get fast food.”

You hum, sitting up slowly. His hands are on your waist, helping you get up from the chair and he continues to support you all the way to the bathroom.

“I want a milkshake,” You pout, leaning into the wall as he gets the shower ready.

He chuckles, pulling you into a hug. Kevin kisses your forehead sweetly, “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

Your heart swelled. Stomach fluttering as your mind replayed the last hour or torture you had just endured… Kevin was so hot. The way he could take charge and fuck you senseless, but in the next breath he was praising and spoiling you, always giving in to you. And that’s why you were always going to be his perfect brat. New - “Don’t underestimate me.”

[[ humiliation ( he catches you touching yourself), lots of derogatory terms, looks innocent but is fucking mean and hot , rough sex ]]

Sharing an apartment with Chanhee was exhausting. The nights were always filled with loud moans echoing through the walls, sometimes it was so hard to not touch yourself to them… So hard to not close your eyes and let your imagination run wild. Which always left things awkward while you were getting ready for classes in the morning, with him sitting at the breakfast bar with a bowl of cereal like he wasn’t up all night. You were beginning to question if he was a vampire that never slept and had ungodly stamina… You two didn’t talk much. Chanhee was rarely home and when he was there was usually someone occupying his attention.

So you don’t think much about it when you come home, kicking your shoes off and rushing to your room. 

You’ve been horny all day, squirming and throbbing between your legs for most of your last class. And you don’t know why, everything was just turning you on and you needed to touch yourself now. Your mind was only fixated on the need to touch yourself that you just fell into your bed, face shoved into the blankets as you reach between your thighs, slipping your hand into your pants and massaging yourself.

Suffocating in your moans, you’re so close… All the pent-up frustration was finally about to be released after so long.

“Cute,” Chanhee coos, leaning up against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest, “I thought I heard you…”

Your stomach drops. 

“Get out,” You whimper, pulling your hand from your pants and dying mentally in your bed. You don’t even want to look at him, the shame taking over. 

“You put on a show like some desperate whore and then tell me to get out?” Chanhee scoffs, “You’ve turned me on, now how are you going to fix it?” 

You sit up, grabbing one of your pillows and throwing it at him, “I’m not a whore! It’s not my fault you moan so fucking loud all fucking night, it’s all I can think about!” 

He catches the pillow, his eyes darkening as he steps toward you. You never thought someone so pretty could look so terrifying… You're frozen, like a deer in headlights. Just watching as he sets the pillow back on your bed. 

“So, you think of me?” He questions, simpering. 

Of course, that’s all he would hear out of that sentence, what a psycho… 

“Ugh, get out,” You groan. Ready to die from your embarrassment, if only you had just closed the door you wouldn't be in this situation. 

“Make me,” Chanhee challenges. 

You scoff, getting up defensively to push him out but you’re overpowered in an instant, thrown back into the bed and Chanhee is crawling on top of you. And he’s staring at you with such ravenous eyes. You squirm. He grabs the hand that you just had in between your thighs, bringing it up to his lips. You can’t help but watch, helplessly pinned to the mattress. He smirks, guiding your fingers into your mouth. 

“Chanhee,” You whisper…  

Your stomach twists into knots as he sucks on your fingers, tasting you. He removes your fingers from his mouth and guides your hand to his crotch. Pressing your hand down into his bulge. 

“I’m so turned on,” Chanhee hums, “Watching you touch yourself so carelessly, so desperate– fuck, you looked so hot…” 

He has you completely wrapped around his finger… And he felt big, like really big. Fuck, you wanted to be fucked so bad. Who cares if he was your roommate. 

“Fuck me,” You whimper, massaging your hand into his cock… You feel good, your mind looping on the fact that this was all because of you... 

“Don’t underestimate me,” Chanhee breathes, diving forward and crashing his lips against yours. 

The kiss is deep and messy like Chanhee is trying to devour you. You can’t keep up. You’re both messily stripping off your clothes. Tumbling and rolling on the bed, kissing each other so desperately. It feels unreal when he’s between his thighs, stroking his cock before he lines up with your entrance. 

You’re fucking mewling for him, begging for him to just fuck you already but he just keeps teasing you, running the head of his cock in between your thighs and laughing at your desperation. 

Chanhee always looked so innocent in your eyes, beyond having the sex drive of a rabbit, he seemed so gentle. But in reality, he was so mean and devious. Tearing you apart piece by piece and taking what he wanted. Until finally his cock was inside of you, stretching you open until you were begging him to slow down. 

He was so big, there was no way you could take all of him... You were already so full and he was staring at you with these eyes that made your heart race. He grabbed you by the hips and pulled you into him, his cock penetrated deeper than you’ve ever taken before. You lift your head, gasping and trying to claw onto his shoulder. 

But he’s laughing and cooing at you. 

You throw your head back into the mattress, moaning and panting as he fucks into you. Slamming his cock so deep with every thrust. 

It hurts so good. 

On the verge of tears, he dives in again. His lips melding with yours and devouring your noises until he’s pulling back again. Grabbing you by the hips and flipping you over like some weightless doll, you’re on your stomach. Your face shoved into the mattress and his hands are on your waist, forcing your ass in the air as he pushed his cock into you again. 

The sound of slapping skin and moans fill the room. Your spine aches as he pins you into the mattress, all of his weight pushing you down. Every thrust has you going numb, your insides finally getting used to Chanhee’s length and you're chasing your high. The steady rhythm builds up, and your drooling into your bedsheets. 

You’re clutching the sheets and you're trying to push back your hips, so desperate for him.

“Such a perfect cock slut,” Chanhee teases, holding his cock deep inside of you as he reaches for your hair, pulling your head up, “Look at me.” 

You turn your head and he shoves his thumb in your mouth, holding you, forcing you to watch as he fucks into you. He tips his head back, groaning so roughly… His chest is slicked in sweat and you cum on the spot. Unable to hold back as you clench around him, trembling as he continues to fuck into you. 

You’re so swollen and sensitive, but he continues. Ungodly stamina was an understatement with the way that he didn’t seem to slow down, thrusting in and out of you until he was falling into you. Kissing your shoulder blades as he cums inside of you. 

“So good,” He praises. Both of his hands are on your shoulders as he kisses your spine. 

Every inch of your body aches, but the soft sensation of his lips kissing you so sweetly has you melting into the mattress like putty. So exhausted that sleep was all you could think about, so blissed out and content. Chanhee seems to have the same thought. Falling into the space beside you, draping his arm over your back. 

“You’re never getting rid of me,” Chanhee whispers, tugging you into him. 

“Shut up,” You grumble, wigging back into him before drifting off to sleep. 

What have you gotten yourself into… Q - “Wait until I get home…”

[[ riding, power bottom reader, you send nudes while he's in an important work meeting ]]

You stared at the text that flashed on your screen, you were giddy thinking about the damage you must have caused while Changmin was in his meeting this afternoon. It wasn’t your fault that you were home alone on your day off, after all, he had promised he would be home today. 

But of course, there was always some kind of surprise meeting. 

You were a little upset, so you did what you knew best. You played dirty… Pulling out some of your best clothes and dressed up for the camera, taking a good collection of sensual photos. In one of them you’re wearing one of Changmin’s favorite dress shirts, the unbuttons undone and exposing your skin so tastefully. 

You send them all one by one… Watching as the delivered mark changed to read. He ignored you. You had expected that, but you still pout and continue to send more. Sending them all one by one slowly, watching as the text bubble appears and disappears. 

Darling: Just wait until I get home... 

It has you completely riled up, dancing around the house with your favourite music playing softly in the background. You can see it now, him walking through the door with those lustful eyes. You’re about to get the attention you deserve. You’re still wearing his dress shirt and a pair of black underwear, the contrast of black and white had you feeling so pretty as you danced in the mirror freshening yourself up.

You hear the beeping at the door. Your heart begins to race as you step out of the bathroom and watch Changmin walk through the door, dropping his briefcase onto the floor and tugging at his tie and unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. His eyes meet yours.

“Darling,” You coo happily, walking towards the entryway. 

He shakes his head, his eyes darkening as they wash over you, he sighs… “You think you’re funny, huh?” 

You pretend to ponder the thought, smiling, “Kind of.” 

“I tried to ignore my phone, but you see someone just kept texting over and over, completely bypassing my do not disturb setting. The CEO of the company we're trying to work with urged that we pause so I could check my phone because it must be important…” Changmin explains while unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling his sleeves up, "Do you even understand what you did?"

"Did you like it?”

He growls, frustrated as he pushes you up against the wall. His nose shoved into your neck as he breathes you in. Hands-on your hips as he lets his desires take over, turning him into the hungry animal that you wanted; that you deserved.

His cock was already hard, rubbing against your leg.

Changmin grabs the back of your thighs, lifting you off the ground. You wrap your legs around his waist, draping your arms over his shoulders. He pressed his full weight up against you, pinning you into the wall. He kisses you softly, teasingly flicking his tongue over your lips. He kisses down your neck, playfully nipping and biting your collarbone before he exhales.

“Wanna ride you,” You coo so innocently, like some love-sick dove calling for your mate.

Changmin carries you to the bedroom while you giggle, your hands weaving into his hair, your lips against his sensitive neck. One minute you’re on top of the world and the next you’re falling, landing into the pile of blankets and you feel your stomach drop. Changmin crawls over you slowly. A hand on your hip and the other sliding against your stomach.

You reach for the buttons of his shirt, undoing them as fast as you can and pushing the shirt off his shoulders. He sits back taking it off the rest of the way before he’s falling back into you, his hungry lips on yours again. This time the kiss is deeper and suffocating. Your hands are on his belt, blindly pulling at the leather strap until it comes undone.

“So needy,” Changmin groans. Sitting back on his knees, he begins to tug your underwear past your hips and down your thighs until he’s tossing them to the floor.

You sit up, pushing him back onto the bed and crawl into his lap. You reach in between your thighs, grabbing onto his cock and guiding yourself down onto it. You’re impatient and demanding. He groans, jaw tightening as you drop yourself. Taking all of him, you moan, circling your hips and leaning forward. You kiss him, your tongue slipping into his mouth as you lift and drop your hips. 

It feels so good, taking control and using his cock to fuck yourself the way you want. 

Changmin has his hands on your waist holding onto you as you sit up, putting both of your hands onto his chest to stabilize yourself as you ride him. Rocking your hips back and forth, lifting and dropping… 

“You feel so good,” You whine, “So big and thick..” You feel yourself tighten at your own words, throwing your head back, “So fucking hot inside of me.” 

Changmin has his hands on your hips, holding you in place and fucking into you until he’s panting and gasping for air. His stomach tightens as he throws his head back. His nails digging into your hips.

“Ugh, fuck… fuck…” 

You can feel the way he pulses inside of you, his cock twitching and filling you as you continue to ride him. Rocking your hips as the pleasure builds and builds until you’re on the verge of coming and Changmin can’t stop trembling, overstimulating as you continue to ride him until you’ve finished. Your thighs squeeze his hips as you fall into his chest. 

You cum.  

And it feels just as good as you had hoped, pulsing at every movement. Panting hard into Changmins chest. He wraps his arms around you and you both stay like that for a while. 

“You’re such a brat,” Changmin sighs, rubbing your back. 

“You love it,” You hum. Basking in his warmth with your cheek pressed against his chest. Haknyeon - “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

[[ ceo/intern au, submission, soft dom, marking/hickeys, bondage/rope, neck kisses, finger fucking, subspace , lots of praise ]]

You’re nervous.

And understandably so considering your boss has just finished tying your arms behind your back with the blue jute rope that you had picked out a few nights ago when you had first discussed the deal together. And you’re beginning to feel the effects as he sits in the chair across from you. 

You loved your work, loved the company and your boss. He was such a sweet and gentle person, you would do anything for him. In your worst, he was always there cheering you on and though he had his moments of being stern, he was a caring person that wanted his team to thrive. 

In every way, you owed your life to him because you were finally living the dream and waking up every morning with a reason, a purpose. You would do anything for him. 

So, when you found out how stressed he was it was only natural that you asked your therapist during one of your sessions about a hypothetical way to help somebody's stress. She listed many things. And you tried a few of them, bringing him herbal teas and offering to work overtime to help with keeping him company late into the evenings. But the bags under his eyes only grew darker and darker from the lack of sleep. 

Haknyeon had choked on his coffee when you had first offered to be his submissive. Staining his dress shirt as he jumped forward in his seat. He got up and closed the office door, staring at you with such utter disbelief that you had even just suggested a thing. You begged, explaining a few of the things you had read and he seemed to listen. Nodding his head with his arms crossed over his chest, leaned up against his desk. 

That day would always be imprinted in your mind. The day your boss said yes to becoming your dominant and the day you realized you were a little more than just thankful for him. 

And now here you are. Heart racing and you know deep down this is more than just some office crush, more than just your admiration for him. You watch as he unbuttons the cuffs of his shirt, rolling up the sleeves to his elbows. 

“Safe word?” Haknyeon said, leaning forward into the hand on his thigh.

“Ocean.”

“Good. I’m going to touch you now but the second you say the safe word everything will stop, okay.” 

“Okay…” You pause for a moment, trying to gather your thoughts, “Master.”

Haknyeon stands up, stepping towards you and you can feel the butterflies… The way his shoes click on the floor and the scent of clean linen and sandalwood burning from the candles on the table. The scene is set. 

Ready…3…2…1…

Action.

Haknyeon tilts your chin up, his eyes washing over your exposed body so slowly it has your heart racing, feeling insecure as he takes in every inch of your skin. You try to look away but he tuts softly, turning your head more to look up at him. 

You watch as his demeanour completely changes, the softness in his eyes exchanged with this look that makes you feel so small and uneasy. He looked like a completely different person, eye-fucking you as his hand lowers, tickling your skin as he crouched down in front of you. 

Two fingers trailing down your stomach and down the curve of your hips, his eyes following the hand that is now between your thighs.

“I wanna kiss you,” Haknyeon whispers, “Everywhere…”

He leans in, kissing your shoulder softly… His lips tag you with invisible marks until he’s made his way to your neck. He slips his hand between your thighs, massaging you and sinking his teeth into your neck at the same time.

You gasp.

Your vision blurs as you blink slowly, your head spinning as you slip further and further out of control. He continues to bite at your neck, sucking and kissing until it’s so tender you swear you have to be bleeding by now. He pulls back. His attention was now directed to your thighs once more as he spread your legs apart, enjoying the view as he touched you so teasingly. His fingers slicked with your pleasure. 

Haknyeon's shoulders slump, exhaling. He’s falling into the role easier than he thought, touching you so slowly and basking in the moment of worshipping you slowly. His lips meet your skin again, kissing along your chest as he slips two fingers inside of you. Pumping them in and out so slowly, listening to the way your breathing has changed, the way your chest rises and falls with the push of his fingers. 

“You’re so pretty,” He praises. He caresses your cheek, leaning in to kiss you. 

The kiss is so soft at first, deepening gradually as he swallows down every soft whimper and moan you make until you’re trembling so hard, squirming and trying to close your legs to escape his touch. 

“I want to fuck you…” Haknyeon says, and it almost sounds like he’s begging for your approval, like he’s so desperate and unable to stop himself, “On your knees.” 

You do as he says, tucking your legs underneath you and getting into a kneeling position. He helps support you with your arms tied behind your back. He gets behind you and you can hear his belt being undone and you’re already squeezing your thighs together. 

Haknyeon was going to fuck you. 

Your boss was going to fuck you… On the floor of his living room, with your arms tied behind your back… You felt like you were floating, barely comprehending the way he pushed you forward, your chest pressed against the floor and your ass presented in the air. Your eyes roll as he pushes himself inside of you, stretching you open, taking him inch by inch. It feels like it’s never-ending. He feels so warm, pulsing inside of you… 

Haknyeon takes your hand and you grab onto his tightly, grounding yourself as he begins to move in a slow push and pull. Basking in the way you feel around his cock, so warm and tight. He tips his head back groaning. 

The roughness in his voice has you seeing stars... Eyes closed as you let the waves of pleasure wash over you. Moaning and crying as he fucked into you, pulling you under the current of his lust. You’re so blissed out. 

“So tight,” He praises, “You’re doing so well, so perfect, just for me.” 

The praise loops in your mind. 

So good…So perfect…

Drool dripping from your lips, glossy and swollen…Your cheek is wet. And you feel so overwhelmed, tears forming in your eyes as the pleasure takes over. The final wave pulls you under and holds you hostage, as you whimper into the floor. Crying out for Haknyeon so sweetly. 

He answers your call, praising you… Telling you how beautiful you are, how sweet and perfect… Made just for him. Time escapes you, unable to keep track of how long Haknyeon fucks you, pulling you into his lap and fucking you from this angle. He’s surprised how gone you are, drooling and moaning, barely able to hold yourself up. 

It’s exactly what Haknyeon needed. All of the stress washes away with each sweet moan you sing into his ear. 

He holds you close to him as he cums, his body melting into yours, panting and breathing heavily. Until he’s untying your arms and picking you up. He carries you to the bedroom, wiping your body with a warm cloth before he crawls into the bed with you. Holding you against his chest and you both fall asleep. 

Haknyeon sleeps through the night, and it’s the first time in months that he’s woken up to the sun and not the usual late-night darkness. Your head is on his chest and you're holding his waist… You were his insomnia cure. Sunwoo - “Now that I got your attention…”

[[ cliché brothers bestfriend, minor violence ( he protects you ), he's so soft and hot ngl, like hear me out sunwoo would be the ultimate simp and this just fits him so well ]]

It’s not that you haven’t noticed his attempts, it’s that you had dodged them so well that he must have thought you didn’t notice. His efforts were only getting more and more drastic and bold. 

But Sunwoo was your brother's best friend, they had been friends most of your life and you weren’t about to get involved in that kind of a mess. 

Of course, that’s until Sunwoo has a guy that has been pestering you all night by the collar and he’s punching him hard. Until he lets go and the guy topples to the floor. Everyone is watching silently, all confused and curious. But you…Fuck, that was so hot. 

“Fucking creep,” Sunwoo spits, his cheeks are red and you can tell that he’s holding himself back, “Think of this pain every time you get the urge to be a fucking perv.” And he kicks the guy right in the crotch. 

The guy lurches forward, holding his cock in his hand. Whimpering and whining on the ground, his face bloody and already bruising. Sunwoo’s lip curls in disgust as he turns around and grabs you by the arm roughly. You’re silent as he drags you away from the party and towards his car. 

“What are you doing?” You finally question as you get into the passenger seat. 

“I’m taking you home,” Sunwoo says as he turns the ignition, “I don’t trust you alone. Why are you even at a party like this?”

You smile nervously, “Well. It was my friend's idea and I’m supposed to be staying at her place tonight, so I kind of told my brother that I was staying with her… But we planned on staying out all night, but uhm she kind of left with a dude.” 

“Are you kidding me, y/n?” Sunwoo scoffs. “You’re an adult already, why are you lying?”

“You know how my brother is,” You whine, “I don’t get why he always has to be so goddamn protective all the time, it’s normal to be adventurous in college.” 

Sunwoo sighs, “You can stay at my place and I’ll keep your secret. And y/n?”

“Mmm?” 

“Get better friends.” 

You scoff, “Like that’s possible. Can we get food?” 

The drive is the most fun you’ve had in a while, listening to Sunwoo’s loud music while you fill your face with fries. Watching the blur of streetlights and light rain that pelts the windshield while you drive back to the apartment. 

At a stop light, you notice how bloody Sunwoo’s knuckles are and for some reason it has you squirming in your seat… Has Sunwoo always been this attractive?

He catches you staring and you can’t look away, staring at him like it’s the first time you were really seeing him. The lights flash green and he pulls his eyes away to go and you watch the way he drives, it’s so ridiculously attractive and it was driving you insane. 

You flop down onto his bed, moaning at how squishy and comfortable it is. 

“Your apartment is nice,” You say, sitting up and looking around his room. It’s not what you were expecting at all. 

Sunwoo is standing across the room staring at you and you start to feel a little awkward under his stare. 

You knew he liked you and he was always making passes behind your brother's back so you could only imagine what he was thinking right now. Most of all…You were going insane because you knew he would do anything for you. And there was too much power in knowing that if you asked him to fuck you, he’d been across the room in a second to touch you. 

The thought gives you butterflies and you look down at the bed. 

“Does your hand hurt?” 

“A little,” Sunwoo confesses, looking down at his bruising knuckles, “I’m sorry if that was a lot. I just saw the look on your face as he touched you and I lost it.” 

“No-no,” You shake your head, “It was… uhm really cool.” 

“Cool?” Sunwoo chuckles, “You flatter me..” 

He shakes his head, repeating the word 'cool' as he turns around and starts to pull open drawers and dig through his dresser. He sets them beside you on the bed. 

“You can uhm shower and put these on, and you can sleep in the bed tonight.” 

“Where will you sleep?” 

“Are you asking me to sleep with you?” He simpers, his eyes doing a slow swipe over you.

You shake your head. Grabbing the stack of clothes and excusing yourself to go and shower. 

Sunwoo is sitting in the living room when you come out of the shower and suddenly you feel a little self-conscious wearing his black t-shirt and sweats. He looks like he’s prepared a blanket and pillow on the couch. He’s wearing a pair of sweats and he’s taken his shirt off. Your eyes fall onto his chest, it’s so obvious that you’re staring. 

“Sunwoo,” You whisper... It’s almost a whimper, your face feels like it’s on fire, “Sleep with me tonight….” 

It’s so bold…possibly stupid. But you don’t care, he gets up off the couch and in a second his hands are cupping your face and his plush lips are pressed into yours. He kisses you roughly, and in a matter of seconds, your lips are already aching from the force that he crashed into you. His hands were holding you so tight like you’d disappear. It was so full of passion and desperation, for years he had only ever dreamed of being able to kiss you. 

The next thing you know you’re both making your way to the bedroom, taking turns tossing eachother into walls and removing your clothes until you’re naked and being pushed into the bed. Sunwoo is on top of you in seconds. His lips against your thighs, kissing every inch of you as his hands hold onto making sure you don’t run away from him. 

“I should have punched someone sooner,” Sunwoo moans, kissing the inside of your thighs and you grab onto his hair, tugging and throwing your head back into the bed. “Now that I have your attention…Let me take care of you, baby.” 

“I want you,” You whine. 

“You can have all of me,” Sunwoo says as he kisses your stomach, “You’ve always had me…” 

You’re melting. How was he so fucking adorable and sweet, but so annoyingly hot. He kisses every inch of your body, praising you. Telling you how beautiful you are, complimenting your skin and your curves. And you’re so desperate you’re begging for him to fuck you already.

He assures you that he will, that he’ll fuck you so good… And it makes your stomach flutter, ugh why was he so..ugh. 

And finally, you’re laying on your side and he’s laying up against you, his lips kissing your shoulder blades softly. He grabs your thigh lifting it as he pressed his cock to your entrance and pushes in slowly. It feels so inexplicably good, the angle has you swooning. He lowers your leg and wraps his arms around your waist, holding you tightly as he fucks into you nice and slow. And you’re going insane. 

He’s taking his time and enjoys this moment. 

He’s so disgustingly sweet, making sure you’re okay and kissing your neck. Laughing sweetly and confessing how much he’s enjoying this. He was such an embarrassing flirt but you were going crazy over it, loving the way he was worshipping you and taking care of you. 

“You’re doing so good,” Sunwoo hums, running his hand over your hip, “So tight and wet for me…” 

You’re pulsing between your thighs and all you can do is moan so pathetically, your eyes fluttering as you feel him moving inside of you. He’s so warm and comforting… It’s easy the way you seem to overflow into him. Cumming on his cock with a muffled whimper, your body trembling as he continued to move in and out of you slowly. It’s such a slow pace and you can’t believe you’ve come just from this, but every stroke is so slow, stretching you open, feeling how full you are with him inside of you. His warm body against yours, his moans in your ear. Every twitch of his cock. 

Fuck. 

“I’m going to cum,” Sunwoo whispers into your back. He pulls you into him as he begins to pant harder with each stroke, his voice is so raspy and low it makes your heart race. 

You can feel him inside of you. The pulse of his cock and the warmth. It has you mewling, pushing yourself into him. 

“I’ll lie for you any day,” Sunwoo teases, chuckling faintly. 

“If my brother finds out, he’s going to kill you,” You say smugly, playing with his fingers that are still pressed into your stomach. 

“It’d be worth it.” 

Eric - “Anything you want I will do it for you, please just…”

[[ nsfw videos, he likes to wear cute kitty ears and be called cute in the bedroom, he talks a lot when he’s nervous, so cute and whiney ]]

You’ve always been a curious person by nature, so it comes as no surprise that you spend your free time alone watching everything and anything. It’s not surprising you’ve made an NSFW account and it’s not surprising you enjoy following random accounts and watching their porn videos. It was never really for pleasure, mostly a cure-all to your boredom. Scrolling through videos and watching a few seconds of someone getting railed before you continued on. But that was until you stumbled upon a video that captured your full attention. 

He’s fisting his cock and his moans alone are enough to have you shoving your hand between your legs to touch yourself. You’ve never felt this effect before, never felt this kind of desperation over a video. But he was so alluring and sexy. He was so needy and whiney. 

You let the video replay until you cum. And you pick up your phone again to look at the video just as the guy’s hand moved out of the way just enough that you see black ink on his skin that looks familiar. You sit up, clicking on his account and scrolling looking through all of his photos and videos. And there is no doubt in your mind that is Eric… 

Oh fuck, he was always so annoying and loud in classes. You would have never pegged him to be this kind of a person. He was friends with a few of your friends, so there was the odd occasion where you would see him at a party or he’d join you all for karaoke. But fuck… You wanted him more than ever now. 

A few days pass by and you’ve found yourself in the perfect opportunity to get him alone.

“I’ll go get more beer,” Eric chirps, jumping up from his seat the second that someone complained they were out. 

You were all having a BBQ on your friend's rooftop, celebrating their new internship. 

“I’ll help,” You offer, grabbing your jacket and following him downstairs. 

The walk is awkward at first. Obviously, you’re thinking about how much you want to fuck him and he’s mindlessly talking about something you don’t understand. You stop.

“You okay?” 

You shake your head, “Uhm... I’ve watched your videos.” 

He runs his hand through his bangs, laughing nervously, “What videos?” 

“The ones you posted on your blog.”

“I dunno what you’re talking about,” He shakes his head, “What kind of videos are you watching, y/n.” 

“I know it was you,” You say, looking up at him, “I know your tattoo.” 

He takes you seriously now. He looked like a deer caught in headlights and he began to stutter, rambling on and not really making sense. 

Until finally, he’s stepping towards you, resting his forehead on your shoulder, “Anything you want I’ll do for you, please just…don’t tell anyone about those videos.” 

“I won’t,” You shake your head, “God, no. Eric, I would never show anyone your personal videos, I just uhm...fuck, I just feel so guilty that I’ve gotten off them…” 

He pulls away, his eyes washing over you with what feels like excitement, “Really? You don’t think it’s weird? Everyone always says it’s annoying and weird that I get so worked up and vocal, I just can’t help it,” He’s rambling, “I always suppress it…And I hate it…It just feels so good to–” 

You fall into him… Kissing him to shut him up, your arms draped around his neck and your tongue slipping into his mouth. He wraps his arms around your waist pulling you in closer. The kiss is more intense than you could have imagined. He’s already moaning into the kiss. You pull away, kissing his jaw all the way down to his neck. 

“It’s so hot,” You whisper. You place a wet open-mouthed kiss on the inside of his neck, sucking on the skin and biting playfully.

Eric moans in your ear and you feel giddy… You can’t believe this is real and not just a video on repeat, you want more. Biting hard and sucking until he’s breathless and pushing you away. 

“We can’t do this here,” He pants hard. Taking a step back. 

Completely neglecting the beer run, you’re both falling into his bed, fighting against your clothes and the desire to not stop kissing for longer than a few seconds. 

“Did you really get off to me?” Eric asks, kissing down your chest. 

“Yeah,” You pant, your nails dragging across his back, “You’re so cute…”

You panic, worrying that cute wasn’t the right term but he’s looking up at you with those beady eyes, flustered and blushing. He kisses your stomach and sits up to lean over the bed. He pulls up a black box and looks at you, almost seeking confirmation. 

“What?” You question, tilting your head and sitting up. 

He opens the box and pulls out a pair of black ears and you immediately coo about how cute they are. He looks at you with pure excitement and he's rambling on excitedly about how they're his favourite ears and he thought he looked cute in them too, but he's never shown, anyone. And you can't help but watch him ramble, your eyes softening at how fucking adorable he is. He puts them on his head and asks you how he looks. 

“You look so cute, baby,” You say, “Wanna ride you…”

Eric is on his back. His hands are on your hips as you guide his cock to your hole and lower yourself. It feels so good, sinking down until your ass is against his thighs. Your hands against his chest as you lean forward to kiss him, you rock your hips until he���s mewling against your mouth. He's panting, trying to breathe through it. You sit up, arching your back to raise your hips easier. Fucking yourself on his cock while you listen to him moan, every second passing and you’re in heaven.

He really looks so cute with those ears on and his voice… It was such a turn-on. 

You can’t help but reach between your thighs touching yourself. And he looks up at you, his eyes glossy and watching you like you’re the best things he’s ever fucking seen. His hands drag over your thighs, squeezing each time he exhales. 

“You’re doing so good,” You praise, “So cute and good for me, hmm? Fuck, you’re so big…” 

“So tight,” Eric coos, throwing his head back into the pillow, “Feels so good, so good, gonna c-cum.”

“Cum for me…You’re so deep.” 

He’s moaning so loud, it’s so high-pitched and breathy and it’s so much hotter than the videos you had watched. You sink yourself down, dropping your weight and clenching around him. Pulling your hand from between your thighs as you let your orgasm take over. You can feel him pulsing…He’s a mess and you soak in every second, watching his eyes flutter and he pants hard. 

You lay on top of him, resting your head on his sweaty chest. 

“You sound so pretty,” You hum, happily. 

[[ Ahhhh thank you for reading, again I'm sorry this is so long hhh I really did try to contain myself. This was both a nightmare and fun so I hope you enjoy, it's been so long since I've written so I really hope this is okay ㅠㅠ ]]

[sugar-grigri]

I think I remember you making references to Fire Punch in a few analysis post so I assume you've read that one, but have you read Goodbye Eri, and if so do you have any particular thoughts you want to share on it? It might be my favorite, although it's hard to rank Fujimoto's works because there's something different I like about all of them.

Hi Yuta! or is it Fujimoto?

2022, Goodbye Eri is released and I'm in for a huge slap in the face! I've finally got the chance to talk about it, so thank you!

It's hard to come after the war after this one-shot has been the subject of so much analysis, interpretation and criticism. But I think it's a work that's deliberately designed to be a trap, and the first mistake would be to try absolutely hard to determine whether Goodbye Eri is true or false. 

Trying to detect the true and the false is futile, not that it's really impossible, but arguments could be several pages long and the theories put forward would remain mere hypotheses because no explicit confirmation is given. Quite simply because this is not the aim of the work, nor a satisfactory way of reading it. 

For example, when Yuta's father seems to be getting angry with Eri, we understand from Eri's "And Cut!!!" that it was all a set-up. So, as a good reader, we can only assume that what follows is pure reality. However, the father, now an actor, if he should play his line differently.

As another illustration, when Eri is close to death and Yuta are talking, there are a few hints that they might have a relationship, but this is denied by Yuta himself, in a discussion with Eri's friend. 

The film plays with this to such an extent that all sorts of theories are possible. It could just as easily be interpreted as there being only two films (on Yuta's mother and then on Eri's death), two films but in different ways: one about Yuta's mother and a second film about Eri, as a vampire, with the end scene played by Yuta's father and by Eri before her death.

This explains why, even after Eri's death, Yuta continues to film because the film isn't actually finished yet, the editing being there to reverse the scenes played chronologically, to make it look as if Eri was still alive, and so on. ..

As you can see, it all makes sense, and our preference is purely personal because they all work. But I'm not going to play that game, because it only shows me one thing, and that's that the plot surrounding Eri is deliberately obscure. 

I've seen a lot of people describe Goodbye Eri as a work about dealing with death - the way we want to remember those we've lost, etc... It's about mourning, symbolically saying goodbye, hence the title. Which is true! But it goes further than that.

Eri's plot is deliberately obscure because the right way to appropriate the work is not through her. She's the character we know least about. Physically alone, we learn that she wore glasses and braces. Mentally, she was more annoying than she seemed in the movie. Eri is a mirage in which we won't find answers, so we have to learn to say goodbye.

The only reliable information given in this OS is that everything is filmed by Yuta's phone. And in reality, you know Yuta better than Eri, so it's him you should turn to...

Hi Yuta!

Yuta is almost never shown in this OS, as he is always filming. And when he is shown accurately, it's when he's inspired by other films by watching them with Eri, in other words, he's continuing to work on his own film by watching others. 

Yuta's first film began as a result of his mother's narcissistic desire, as he was celebrating his birthday, discovering his gift, a smartphone, all of which was directly taken over by his mother, who asked him to film her until she died.

By keeping only the good sides of his mother, ignoring all the abusive parts of her, Yuta does not follow his parent's wishes, he does it for himself, showing what he himself wants to retain from his childhood, his story, in order to move forward properly.

But as everything is filmed, it gives the impression that the videos have been passively lined up without any sorting, without any choice. Yuta takes his revenge because he refuses to film his mother until the day she dies, stopping before then, preferring an explosion to conclude his film. It's brutal because it's as if Yuta's tastes, his little touch of fantasy, are suddenly surfacing, while the rest of the film is just as personal, just as him. So when his film is mocked, it's a work so personal that Yuta wants to die. 

It's not insignificant that it's Eri who intervenes, whose only certainty was that she loved not only the films but also Yuta's, simply because she saw not only Yuta's mother in this film but also him, whom she considered to be the best character. She wasn't revolted by the ending, because she was aware of Yuta's touch throughout the film. The same ambiguity then resurfaces, we don't know if Eri is in love with Yuta, she corrects him to say that it's these films, the two are so linked, that liking Yuta's films is tantamount to liking the teenager. 

Yuta follows Eri's desire to produce a film that is above all personal to him, to the point that when Eri sees her last moments narrated by him, she sees Yuta more than herself, because she is seen through someone else's eyes. 

For me, there aren't two or three films, but just one from start to finish. Because you see, we've said goodbye to Eri, we've got out of her tricky story to reflect on Yuta, but we still haven't stepped back enough. Because you know who made the film, and it's not Yuta, it's Fujimoto. So, third stage :

let's salute Fujimoto. 

The film we've just seen in this OS deals with a number of overlapping themes, the way in which a loved one is portrayed, the relationship with others, death, creation, but above all, the extent to which a work is personal. Goodbye Eri is a pretext for Fujimoto to show us the extent to which even the cutting is the fruit of reflection, is already a message.

In this OS, all the boxes are in the video format of a smartphone, each moving, static shot depends on Yuta, just as each shot is in the third row, drawn by someone.

People make the mistake, like the first audience of Yuta's film about his mother, of relating to works as linear stories to be trusted, even if they film his mother every day, Yuta's editing is his way of counting a story, it is certainly not the truth in all its neutrality. It's only at the moment of the explosion, which expresses the most of Yuta's personality, that people get upset.

This offbeat, absurd explosion is something that Fujimoto punctuates in his works, yet they are both thought out and personal to him. But they are often mocked as a way of poking fun at his work. What Fujimoto is saying is that the work doesn't become brutally personal for the controversial, offbeat moments, just the way he depicts a scene from life is personal. 

People believed this version of the author's mother, otherwise they wouldn't be outraged by this disgraceful way of portraying this nice woman at the end, so in itself, Yuta's film worked. But all this is just a pretext for Fujimoto to point out that he is the author of all his other works, CSM, Fire Punch, Look Back, Just Listen to the Song... They are just like another film made in response to the positive or negative reactions of the others.

Fujimoto likes to trace the common ground between these works, which respond to each other. Each one, placed side by side, is an attempt by Fujimoto to upset his audience a little more, a second or third try.

The mistake is to separate the author's touch from his work, just as we are tempted to focus more on Eri than Yuta. Just as Fujimoto reminds us through this OS, who writes, draws Goodbye Eri. The first part of CSM was turned upside down by the fact that Makima was a demon from the start, abusive to the point of being the antagonist.

A violent and abusive maternal relationship. The design of the mother is also a bit similar. Mentions of the breasts, something that also went down quite a bit and left its mark on a lot of readers because it was so out of sync. The emphasis on cats... A rejected boy. A work focused on female characters.

Goodbye Eri is a work in which Fujimoto makes fun of himself, his works and the things that bring them together. Yes, there will be an explosion if the author so decides. Yes, Eri can live again, be a vampire, if the author so decides, but what's to stop him making his characters die, and then bringing them back to life a few pages later? 

The characters' plots are the authors' playgrounds, whether you like it or not. You can't detach works from their authors, or read works as unrelated things because they were written by the same person. Talking about death, life, mourning, love, with a touch of fantasy is what Fujimoto does in each of them. 

So if you're lost, remember that what you're reading isn't in the title but in the author. 

[cyberluvzu]

I don't know if you will want to do it, but can you make headcanons of Ben Drowned? (The fanon version of him, not the canon where he is a child 💀)

I've been seeing some of your headcanons and I loved how you write !! (This is my first request, I don't even know if I'm doing it right ✋😭)

That's it have a great day <3

BEN DROWNED HEADCANONS

AJJGSKSHSK THANK YOU SM ILY. ALSO I ABSOLUTELY LOVE BEN SMSMSMSMMS. You're literally so nice I'm sobbing. I ALSO WASN'T SURE IF YOU MEANT GENERAL OR ROMANTIC HEADCANONS. YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO :3 <3!!!!!! MWAH MWAH MWAHHHHHH!!!!

(I also had to edit this while it was posted bc I accidentally clicked post 😭😭)

General Headcanons

- Pothead

- LMAO SORRY

- But he would probably smoke weed here and there

- Hungry when he's high

- I also like to think that he has longer hair, just long enough to be put in a pony tail

- He mostly keeps his hair up

- Would probably dress more comfy if he's just relaxing at home

- Video game shirts, basketball shorts, sweatpants, PJ pants

- If he has to like actually get dressed for any reason he would just wear something comfortable but not exactly pajamas

- More like baggy clothes, y'know?

- Buys dumb shit with his money

- "Oh look a bag of mini plastic ducks"

- "I NEED IT"

- Likes to hack games, but when other people do it he gets mad

- He takes it as a challenge and pops through that person's screen to absolutely terrify them

- He thinks it's hilarious

- Going off of that, he LOVES to scare people

- Specifically likes when people have over the top reactions to it because he thinks it's the funniest shit ever

- Would definitely watch those 2 hour long YouTube video essays on a topic he's never heard of

- Frequently falls down YouTube rabbit holes because of it too

- Also knows random facts about obscure topics because of that

- Takes GREAT care of his PC

- It's in absolutely top notch condition

- I like to think that he's not THAT messy like some people see him as

- More of a "I'll put everything in separate piles" messy

- Surprising clean-ish room

- Loves brain rot

- In like an ironic way though

Romantic

- Let's you play with his hair

- Loves the feeling of your nails scratching his scalp

- Gives you dumb pet names

- Will absolutely call you the most cheesy, diabolical pet name and act like it's normal

- LOVESSS taking naps with you

- Like genuinely adores it

- Also really likes nose kisses

- You kiss him on the nose

- He's all yours

- ALSOOOO WOULD DEFINITELY WAKE YOU UP TO PLAY GAMES WITH YOU

- "Babe can we play Minecraft"

- "It's 3am, Ben"

- He loves you and wants to play with you

- He would definitely do most of the hard work (cheat)

- Makes sure you have the best items in games

- Loves when you wrap around him

- Big fan of hugs, especially yours

- He loves how you feel and smell

- NOT IN A WEIRD WAY 😭

- He just really likes you

- Will absolutely flirt with you in the stupidest ways possible

- Tries to pay attention to you, but if he's distracted by a game, you'll lose his full attention for a couple of hours

- He will eventually remember that he has a partner and will go bother you

- HE LOVESSS TO ANNOY YOU

- Will poke you when he wants attention or needs something from you

- Has a shit eating grin on his face the whole time

- If you get upset at him he'll fake being overdramatically upset just to make you laugh

- Loves seeing you giggle, laugh, or smile

- He would definitely let you borrow his clothes

- He thinks you're the cutest thing ever in his clothes

- Looks forward to getting into bed with you and talking about a new game he started, his day, or just about anything

- He's sweet, but can also be a complete dick

- IN LIKE A JOKING WAY

- He wouldn't really be mean to you

- Just annoying

- He's secretly hoping you kiss him to shut him up

- Would buy you and him matching jewelry

- Your name in his phone would probably be "player 1"

- Or something cheesy like that

- He loves being cringey and cheesy with you

- He's just really comfortable around you and loves you

- Sometimes he might not know how to express it because of how extreme it feels

- But he does get the point across eventually

-------------------------------------------

HELLO!!! So basically I didn't proof read this for shit 😭. BUTTTTT that's bc I accidentally hit post when I wasn't ready. BUT I HOPED Y'ALL ENJOYED, SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN POSTING AS MUCH!!!!! MWAHHHHH!!!!

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (9) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n reunions galore!

masterlist | last part | part 9 | next part

INSTAGRAM

chrisyamada

liked by eb_jonno and 482,492 others

chrisyamada was on stage w/ the aussies again 🎸 tagged: emptybottles_official

lukaszhang don't come for my job man ↳ chrisyamada @lukaszhang i can't handle lina for extended periods of time dw about your job security

ceciliapham THEY DID THIS FOR ME AND ME ONLY 😭😭😭

piastri_lina now if i didn't know any better, i'd think this was a soft-launch... ↳ piastri_lina @piastri_lina know ur place christopher yamada

oscarpiastri

liked by selinabui and 213,284 others

oscarpiastri Race week recharge 🔋

pi4str1 convinced that if oscar was to open an oscar.jpg account it would just be all lina

selinabui ur so hot do u have a gf ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui yeah sorry 🫤

piastri_lina boyfie looking boyfie, wifey looking wifey, what is a girl to do 😭😭😭

logansargeant ask her if we can talk again ↳ selinabui @ logansargeant U TOOK ME SERIOUSLY??? IS THIS WHY I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM U???

TWITTER

↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h wait i asked a lina question OH MY GOD PLS PLS PLS CHOOSE THE LINA QUESTION ↳ Williams Racing @ WilliamsRacing · 2h Find out when the episode drops 😉 ↳ jess @OPIXSTRI · 1h OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DIE ↳ Williams Racing @ WilliamsRacing · 1h Don't die just yet

YOUTUBE

INSTAGRAM

selinabui Shenzhen, China

liked by oscarpiastri and 264,938 others

selinabui my own kinda home race? tagged: eb_jonno

eb_jonno *OUR* home town performance ↳ selinabui @eb_jonno my bad bro why did u think i tagged u

oscarpiastri How do you still suck at bowling? ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri wdym i won ↳ cameliazzz @ selinabui no you didn't???

pi4str1 same top as the one in oscar's post? ↳ marie_h.sb @pi4str1 pls they think they're so subtle 😭

linasgirl4 SINCE WHEN SELINA. SINCE WHENNNNN ↳ linasgirl4 @linasgirl4 i'm going fucking feral i need to know how long they've been together for my mental health ↳ emptybottlos @linasgirl4 calm the fuck down it's not that serious

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 1d dude are u kidding me? ↳ kay ♡ @ blackcatluna · 4h she still got that :] energy 🥹

camilina gfs fr @ drummergf · 21h I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAW JONATHAN SU AND SELINA BUI LIVE IN THE FLESH AT THE SHENZHEN FENDI POP-UP ↳ camilina gfs fr @ drummergf · 21h i'm not alive i have ascended to a higher plane

president linami @ linaminami · 16h try not to say mother challenge failed. she looks so good wtf

INSTAGRAM

emptybottlesbar

liked by cameliazzz and 332,974 others

emptybottlesbar Jonny and Lina at the Shenzhen FENDI pop-up store. Did you manage to catch them? tagged: emptybottles_official, selinabui and eb_jonno

selinabui wtf are we pokemon or smth??

eb_jonno was i not photogenic enough, i'll work on it ↳ emptybottlesbar @eb_jonno You were very handsome 💚 ↳ eb_jonno @emptybottlesbar well that's a very nice way of saying i look bad in photos

2cami4lina I DID CATCH THEM AND IT WAS SPECTACULAR

TWITTER

lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 1h oh ttpd, oh how 2021 lina coded it you are ↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 1h i need a lina x i can do it with a broken heart edit STAT

emme @flowersforcami · 42m oomf said i can fix him (no really i can) is super lina in her tommy era coded and i can't unhear it now

↳ kay ♡ @ blackcatluna · 1h @urdaisea baby girl this is for you 😭 ↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 44m HOW ARE THEY SO QUICK OH MY GOD IT'S HEARTBREAKING

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 33m it's only been like a day since it dropped but i've already been blessed with a so high school oscalina edit the lord is good 🙏 ↳ jackpot ☆ @slayridgo · 30m i wanna be on ur fyp bc i've gotten two 'you look like taylor swift' edits of olivia and lina and it's been depressing

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h lina's stories perfectly encapsulates my april 19 experience, she's the chairman of the swiftie f1 girlie department ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h side note she used one of those oscar gifs from f2 and it's so endearing

INSTAGRAM

selinabui just posted to their story

trans: brother yu (she uses the fish 'yu' and not zhou guanyu's actual 'yu', again, it's a pun) is awesome!

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee @urfavsgf

[minustwofingers]

love is a laserquest p.1

masterlist

pairing: rockstar!ellie williams x reader

request: @thatgiraffefromtlou so kindly included me on a post about writing something inspired by these beautiful edits :) thank you !

summary: after a serious of unfortunate events, columbia grad y/n y/l/n finds herself using her hard-earned journalism degree interviewing vapid stars and writing articles that she's convinced are rotting her mind. ellie williams has just dropped the album of the year and it's all anyone is talking about, but all she wants is to be off the press train. a certain interview with a certain interviewer might change this.

warnings: no cws, but i will say that i don't know anything about this career path so i apologize if i'm totally butchering it!

a/n: see ? see? i promise i haven't forgotten about you guys/this blog/this request. this is admittedly a short installment, but you've all been so good about waiting and i had a little itch to write tonight. hopefully more of this will be posted soon. i hope you enjoy!

tags :) @intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @elliesbabygirl​ @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower @muthafuckingstargirl @elliewilliamsissubermommyoml @eviestevie-14 @quicksilversg1rl @guacala @crtcrp @overtrred28

wc: 1.8k

enjoy!

“Hi. I’m Y/N.” 

You sit and extend your hand, smiling as diplomatically as you can manage to the girl sitting across from you. 

She ignores you.

“I said hi,” you repeat.

One painted eyebrow arches the slightest, but she doesn’t look your way. 

You grit your teeth. A question list that you’ve meticulously prepared is memorized and tucked away in your mind, but now you’re just furious that you spent so much time preparing for an interview with someone who wouldn’t even look you in the eye. 

While you wait for the camera crew to get ready, you sit and observe the room—movie posters behind both you and Lina, bright lights that are already making you sweat shone down from above, and a homey oak wood coffee table between you two to give the air of casualness. 

God, you hate this. All you want to do is go home. 

“Ready?” a cameraman says from the side. 

You send a game smile his way. “Ready.”

“We’re rolling.”

“Hi!” said the girl across from you, suddenly laser-focusing her attention on you with so much bubbly energy that it made you feel like you’d gotten whiplash. “It’s so good to meet you. I’m so glad that we were able to do this.”

“Me too,” you respond, saccharine sweet. “You have no idea how excited we are to have you, Lina! It seems like all anyone wants to talk about nowadays is your role in Ontario.”

The interview’s length is oppressive and mind-numbing. By the time you ask your last question and Lina sends you her last dazzling smile, you’re already on the brink of offing yourself on the camera for all to see.

“And cut,” said someone over your shoulder.

You relax, letting out a long breath. That was the last one for the day. You got to go home now.

But since you were a normal human being, you give Lina one last try to redeem herself.

“It was great having you,” you say in a way that you hope reads as genuine. “Thank you for coming in.” 

Lina doesn’t respond—she’s already back on her phone, intent on ignoring you. 

The drive home is awful and long and full of LA traffic. It was something you’d never quite forgive your younger self for—not advocating for yourself sooner. If you had, maybe you would’ve already been taking the subway alongside all the other New Yorkers, surrounded by serious people wearing serious clothes and carrying serious things around in their briefcase.

Instead you got the quirkiness of Southern California, all arid air full of cigarette smoke and lost aspirations. When you first came to LA, naive and blithely optimistic about your prospects as a journalist, you thought that living near Hollywood would be exciting, all the energy and dreams like firecrackers to the social scene. 

Then you got off the plane and realized it’d all been a lie. There’s no hope in a place like Hollywood. It’s the most hopeless place in the world, knowing that all your servers and Uber drivers and retail employees are all working 3 other jobs to make up their rent as they chase a dream that will never happen. 

Because no one ever makes it big. Well—no one really. One year into your life at PopNow! has made you interact with more people who have, you suppose, “made it big”, and each interaction is dependably more absurd than the last. Like Lina. God, you hate Lina. 

You reach your apartment right when the sun is kissing the horizon, the royal purple of the night descending upon the sky. That was another thing you missed—the stars. You’d missed them when you were at Columbia, but that was when you knew you went back home to the midwestern countryside. Now you’re stuck in the light-polluted hell of California, and there’s no way to know when you’re going to get out. 

You should have turned the job down, you think to yourself as you get ready for bed. The face wash you rub into your skin obediently forms into silky little bubbles. You should have just done whatever you’d had to do to stay in New York, even if it meant being unemployed and living in a broom closet with 3 other people. 

But you’re a writer. And you’re getting published, and that’s all that matters.

Or at least that’s what you tell yourself.

~

The assignment is in your inbox when you wake up the next morning at a prompt 5:30am. As you go about your normal routine, you let the words in the message sink in.

Alyssa’s in the hospital. Emergency appendectomy. 

Alyssa’s the most senior writer at PopNow!, regularly netting the juiciest recorded interviews. 

…interview today that needs to be completed…

You angrily beat your legs back into scissor kicks as you run through the motions of your favorite apartment-friendly pilates routine. Today was supposed to be your day off.

…musician Ellie Williams…

…2pm…

…great opportunity…

You have no fucking clue who Ellie Williams is. She’s never been mentioned on NPR or the New York Times, the only two news sources you bother to follow, so she can’t be that relevant. Or at least not relevant enough to warrant you losing your one day off. But that’s what it’s like to be working in showbiz. Your days don’t belong to you anymore. 

By the time that you’re in the studio, hands folded and question list memorized, you feel like you know all you need to know about Ellie. 

She’s got everything you need to be a world-wide sensation. Humble, small-town beginnings? Check. Sympathetic backstory that makes even the most hardened viewer’s heart soften? Check. Conveniently conventionally attractive features, well-placed tattoos, and a certain swagger that seems so natural it has to be somehow hard-coded into her genes? Check, check, and check.

You’ve interviewed hundreds of Ellie Williams. You’re ready for this. 

Jan from production sets out glasses of water on the table in front of you, one for you and another poised in front of the empty chair.

“You ready?” she asks, not unkindly. “Don’t be nervous. I know that this might be a bigger one than you’re used to, but there’s a reason why Stephen asked you to fill in for Alyssa. You’ve got this, honey.”

“Thank you,” you say. The smile you send her back is tense, because as much as you hate to admit it, you are nervous. It’s ridiculous how something you don’t even care about for an industry you think is bullshit is capable of getting under your skin, but you’d done very few recorded interviews. When you imagined what kind of hard-hitting journalism you’d be doing back when you were at Columbia, it was nothing like this. 

You sit and wait, bouncing your leg and hoping the rest of you looks at ease. The set is as corny and soulless as always, one tall houseplant shoved half-heartedly between the two blue cushioned chairs like an afterthought. There’s a stack of magazines on the coffee table between you two, as if you’d crack open People mid-shot.

You hate your job so much. You always feel so bad thinking this way—there are people out there who would probably actually kill for the chance to be rubbing elbows with the celebrities you did on a regular basis—but whenever you start feeling too guilty, you think of how you ended up here, your dream internship getting whisked away by fucking nepo baby Becca, and then you let yourself be angry again. 

A door slams shut, and suddenly you’re all business again. 

The first thing you notice about Ellie Williams is that she’s actually very tiny, especially in comparison to the burly camera man that she squeezes by to make her way on set. She’s looking a little preppier than she does on stage, donning a pair of wide-legged black trousers, chunky black docs, and a haphazardly buttoned forest green shirt with the sleeves rolled up just enough for you to see the entirety of her arm tattoo. 

“Hi.” You rise from your chair to offer a hand, feel the pressure of her fingers gently gripping yours. “I’m Y/N.”

Ellie blinks. “Uh, hi. I’m Ellie.” 

“Is everything alright?” 

“I thought Alyssa was going to be interviewing me,” says Ellie. She drops into the chair opposite of you, crossing a leg over the other thigh.

“Emergency appendectomy,” you supply.

The way Ellie reacts makes you regret this immediately. 

“Oh,” she says, cringing. “Shit—oh, can I swear in here?”

“We’re not rolling yet,” you say gently. 

“That’s, uh, really too bad,” she says. Her tattooed hand reaches up to scrub the back of her neck. “I’m so sorry.”

Now it’s your turn to blink and stare at her blankly. “Um, thanks? I don’t really know her.”

“Right, right.” Ellie lets out a long sigh that you take as an offense. The interview hasn’t even started, and the languid way she reclines back in the chair reads as already bored with you. “So, do we just go ahead and…”

“Yes,” you say, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. “Uh, yeah, we’re ready.”

Brilliant start.

The interview begins in earnest, and for once in your life, you’re actually rattled by this girl, by the way she tilts her head at your questions, tongue running over the flat of her front teeth. She has freckles sprinkled across her nose that didn’t show up in any of the photos you’ve seen of her on stage. The ones where she’s awash in blue light, guitar slung over her shoulder and hair sticking to her forehead. It’s disquieting, honestly, how she could just spring a surprise like that on you. 

By some miracle, you manage to get through your list of questions without forgetting anything, but sometimes you stutter on your delivery and have to fight to keep yourself from grimacing. Nothing that she tells you is ground-breaking, nothing you don’t already know. In other interviews, you’re normally able to slip into a sort of conspiratorial voice, prying out information and digging a little deeper than your interviewees intend. But with Ellie, you’re paralyzed, stuck straight to the script that had been sent over to Ellie’s publicist for approval. 

Not like you’d get away with anything when it came to Ellie, either. She has bags under her eyes that you can see concealer creasing in. It’ll wash out post-production under the bright studio lights, but up close it’s obvious that she’s not interested in entertaining any bullshit. 

When it’s over, you’re sure your face is on fire with how hot your cheeks feel. Ellie looks just as nonplussed as ever. 

“It was nice to meet you,” you squeak out. 

She takes her time answering you, busy with draining the glass of water Jan had set out in front of you both and, once it’s empty, fiddling with the buttons on her sleeves. 

“Likewise,” she says, and then before you can think to say anything else, she’s gone.