#Jude Malcom JB Willem

[s4dgayanime]

A little life has damaged me so much ( I haven’t even finished it) that I am consuming so much ghostsoap content at a rapid pace to cope. How are these two connected? I have no idea, probably just timing. Is it working? Kind of

[goeasyonjude]

here’s a list of spoiler free a little life findings & anecdotes

• JB’s grandmother sang to him in French.

•During their sophomore year of college, Malcolm, Jude, and Willem visited JB everyday while he was in the hospital with a broken wrist.

•Jude is compared to the sea, for his everlasting presence.

•Willem can speak two languages.

•Jude was the first to arrive in their dorm, Malcolm was the second.

•Harold never imagined he would have a child.

•Jude learned to drive in Harold’s car.

•Andy has a twin brother who is also in the medical field.

•Late October is Willem’s favorite time in the city.

•Malcolm’s gaze is described as a lighthouse’s beam, when inspecting spaces.

•JB once carried Jude into the hospital following one of his episodes.

•There are 3 books that Jude read that are mentioned, Emma, On Narcissism, and The Hobbit (which is read to him).

•Willem is an avid coffee lover.

•Malcolm gifted Jude one of his miniature houses for his seventeenth birthday.

•Willem once moved Jude out of the way of an oncoming bike.

•Both Jude and Willem are characterized as optimists.

•One of Jude’s favorite streets is also a street in which Harold lives.

•Willem retaught Jude how to shave in college.

•Jude’s smile is compared to the moon.

[brokendowmess]

“You won’t understand what I mean now, but someday you will: the only trick of friendship, I think, is to find people who are better than you are—not smarter, not cooler, but kinder, and more generous, and more forgiving—and then to appreciate them for what they can teach you, and to try to listen to them when they tell you something about yourself, no matter how bad—or good—it might be, and to trust them, which is the hardest thing of all. But the best, as well.”

A Little Life. Hanya Yanagihara

[bandaiddd]

Symbolism in A Little Life

JB describes his friends with colours, Jude as silver, Malcom as blue and Willem as Gold. Gold is said to be a colour of compassion and generosity, blue is serene and stable while silver is successful yet sensitive. It portrays Jude as the moon (Jude’s smile is compared to the moon, he is also the light amongst the darkness shrouding his life) and Willem as the sun, constantly apart but always moving and working as one. Malcom is the one person in their lives who holds a level of stability.

Willem also earns a role as Odysseus, a man of endurance, intelligence and has a sway with his words. He is the eponymous hero, but has hubris. He is too prideful, such as Willem is in believing that his own satisfaction and confidence can extend to Jude when it cannot. The ending of the Odyssey suggest that while romantic love is important, it does not override the love held between a father and son - this being the relationship between Jude and Luke, as for a while, Jude saw him as a paternal figure. It may also be for Harold and Jude, but no real significance can be found there.

Finally, their names. Jude’s name means “praised,” which I feel is self-explanatory. His adulthood is showered with praise, others constantly writing paths they believe he can follow. Praising his work ethic, his money, his love life etc. His name itself praises him for surviving so long with such a horrid past. Willem’s name means “resolute protector,” again self-explanatory but still, he watches over Jude. He is the only one who can make Jude feel completely, and absolutely safe and secure in his presence. Malcom and JB (Jean-baptise) both have names with religious significance. Perhaps this could be meaningless, or they’re named after figures but may also allude to the constant Christian presence in Jude’s life.

[wherebettertoescape]

A Little Life - Harold Pinter Theatre

For anyone who does wish to attend this production, please don’t take the content warnings lightly - the self-harm is graphic and two characters have full-frontal nudity. 

I (Freddie) attended the matinee production at the Harold Pinter Theatre in London on Sunday 7th May

THIS REVIEW/ANALYSIS DOES CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR BOTH THE NOVEL AND STAGE PRODUCTION, SO PLEASE BE AWARE!

Trigger Warnings: talks of self harm, child abuse, sexual assault, domestic abuse and more

There’s no discernible reaction from the audience when Luke Thompson as Willem makes his entrance onto the stage. He’s wearing a dark blue hoodie, the hood pulled up over his hair - perfectly innocuous, nothing spectacular or grand as he walks about the stage. The lights are still bright, the audience is still chatting, laughter is filling the room. And Luke Thompson as Willem is onstage frying himself some bacon and eggs.

What has struck me again and again whenever I reread A Little Life - because, yes, I get a masochistic kind of joy from putting myself through that pain repeatedly - is the intimacy of it. Naturally with any book, the reader is granted the chance to feel close to the characters, to garner a look at their lives behind the veil. But if you were to ask me, I would say that there are very few - if any - novels that create this illusion as Hanya Yanagihara’s does. For 813 pages you are allowed to experience this life as they are, to experience snapshots of their lives - the good, the bad and the unimaginably horrifying - even as the rest of New York, the rest of the world, goes on as normal, with no thought spared to what is occurring within the walls of Lispenard Street and their subsequent homes. 

The awareness that despite what Jude is revealing to the readers about his past, the beyond nightmarish history he has, the world is continuing to go on as normal was perhaps the aspect of the novel I adore so much that I was most scared about losing in adapting it for other mediums.

But from the moment Luke Thompson stepped onto stage, transformed into Willem and beginning to go about his daily life, with the moving images of New York streets surrounding him in his apartment, I knew that my worries had been unfounded. Ivo Van Hove with his unbelievable direction paired with Jan Versweyveld’s set design had found a way to maintain that understanding. 

Throughout almost all of the performance, there is no moment of stasis. Be it JB and Malcom painting and working at desks on the right side of the stage, or Andy reading his book in his clinic, or the ever-present Willem and Harold. 

The former is always in the same spot on a sofa at the back of the stage, flipping through scripts, determined to make it big as an actor, pouring all of his attention and focus onto learning the lines, dedicated to making his dream a reality, and yet always there ready to support Jude. In the second act, Luke Thompson takes the exact same pose when listening to Jude revealing the details of his childhood, desperate to understand his best friend, and at this stage his lover, in the same way he had been desperate to make it as an actor.

Harold, however, spends much of his time on stage left, stationed at the kitchen set up. Constantly in movement, cooking several dishes throughout the course of the play. A reference, perhaps, to the number of Thanksgivings Jude is reported to have spent with him and his wife, Julia (absent from this adaptation). 

Despite the eternal loneliness that James Norton as Jude exudes with just his presence, he is only truly alone for a few moments - the harrowing whisper of “x equals x” that he gasps out after Elliot Cowan as Caleb leaves him naked in the street. It is then that he is alone onstage, laying in his blood, until he is retrieved by his loved ones and taken to rest on Andy’s hospital bed.

It is this detail of James Norton’s performance as Jude that I found the most powerful - which is saying something, considering that I am considering suing him for emotional damages, hasn’t anyone ever told him to think about using his acting powers for good, rather than evil? He captures a side of Jude that I had not previously considered - Jude views himself as a side character in his own life. He doesn’t feel worthy of attention, of his friendships, he is lonely in spite of being surrounded by those he loves the most and as a result feels unable to call out and ask for the help he desperately craves but does not believe that he deserves. 

The contrast between this and the fact that Jude is always centre stage is immense and almost disconcerting to watch and caused me to spend the entire performance practically begging him in my head to just turn around, they’re right there!

But this desire to be helped and to be heard is brought to life by the presence of Nathalie Armin as Ana. The first person in Jude’s life to truly care about him, and the only female in this adaptation of the novel. Armin has a commanding presence on the stage, even as she is a mere figment of Jude’s imagination. Dressed in all black, a stark difference to the bright set, allowing her to melt into the darkness when the spotlight focuses on Norton. 

In many ways, Ana vocalises the audience’s own thoughts - pleading with Jude to confide in his friends, desperate to stop him from harming himself further, and the relief in Armin’s expression as Jude finally tells Willem his story. 

The choice to keep the cast small causes a heavy weight to be put on Elliot Cowan’s shoulders, as he is tasked with portraying three different, truly heinous characters. Even without the costume changes, however, I truly believe it would be possible to tell which of the three he was in each scene.

Cowan gives truly fantastic portrayals of each of the villains of Jude’s life, as Brother Luke he shows the softer touch which allowed for him to manipulate Jude in his innocence, he never handles Norton roughly when playing the part of Brother Luke. Carefully pulling him along, coaxing Jude to trust him to the point that the child does not realise just how wrong it is what Brother Luke asks of him. 

This acting from Cowan makes Jude’s words all the more heartbreaking in Act 2 when talking to Willem, as the audience is able to see why Jude insists that Brother Luke was different, that he did love him.

When taking up the role of Caleb, however, he becomes the manifestation of everything Jude believes about himself. He has none of Brother Luke’s gentleness, but all of his intensity and possessiveness. The last that we see of Caleb, is when he lifts Jude up by the arm, Norton’s body used to reflect the words he says - “x equals x”. Being with Caleb has brought to life Jude’s darkest thoughts of himself, and Jude views this as proof that no matter what he will always be the same. Damaged and unlovable, to be blamed for everything he had been subjected to in his youth.

As Dr Traylor, Cowan’s words are clipped and straightforward. He is the most detached of Jude’s abusers, not caring for his name and only referring to him as “a prostitute” and reinforcing what Jude already believes about himself. It is not until Jude’s “release” that we see any true kind of emotion from Dr Traylor. Cowan shows Dr Traylor with a manic kind of joy upon forcing Jude to run from him, all the while on the tail in his car. The chase scene is long, and dramatic with the incredible musicians rising in volume and intensity with their instruments. The length of the scene forces thoughts back to Jude’s earlier response when JB asked about his legs - “I used to run cross country”.

In all of his roles, Cowan has the same commanding presence onstage as Armin. The moment he leaves the wings, regardless of who he is in that moment, the audience’s attention is drawn to him. As though by sheer glares and willpower we will be able to change Jude’s story, that we as mere observers will be able to push against Cowan’s slow, purposeful steps and keep him away from Norton. 

Zubin Varla and Emilio Doorgasingh gave masterful portrayals as Harold and Andy, respectively. They are markedly different to the presence of Willem, Malcom and JB - in what proves to be a very physical play, Harold rarely touches his son, while Andy only does so as necessary in his medical examinations of Jude.

This respect for Jude’s boundaries when it comes to physical contact is what truly sets Harold and Andy apart from the other older figures in Jude’s life (those villains played by Cowan). Varla’s portrayal of Harold is always evaluating his own movements, always second guessing himself before moving towards Jude - he does not seek out the easy, casual contact shown by the other three young adults. But when Jude comes to him for comfort, Harold is always eager to provide it.

The final scene of Harold and Jude embracing - Jude in his wheelchair, Harold knelt on the ground in front of him, with the rejected trays of food scattered on the floor around him - when Norton practically falls into Varla’s arms, sobbing into his shoulder, as a screen slowly comes down to hide them, JB on the outside, is one that I believe will stay with me for years to come. 

There is an emotion in Varla’s voice when he confides in the audience the story of Jacob, his first son. And in that closing scene we are forced back to that monologue, when he confesses to anyone listening that when Jacob died, there was a little part of him relieved, as that meant it was over. And although it is heartbreaking, it is this statement that makes it no real surprise that when the screen lifts again, Harold is alone in front of that wheelchair to report Jude’s suicide.

Where Armin’s Ana shows the sympathetic side of the audience, the aching desire to hug Jude and promise him it will be okay, to protect him both from the world and himself, Doorgasingh’s Andy exhibits the rougher side of it. His frustration at Jude’s abject refusal to accept help, his anger at watching someone he loves destroy themselves. The hopelessness he feels when his advice goes unnoticed, and his frequent calls to Harold and Willem - often screaming at the two people Jude is closest to, desperate for them to be there for him more.

Andy does not have the same stage presence as many of the other characters do, instead he - and the same can be said for Malcom - almost fades into the background at times. But they are there, ready to pick up the pieces. Both Doorgasingh and Wyatt are spectacular in their characterisations. In the novel, Andy and Malcom show an awareness that they are not the most important people to Jude, that they cannot help him in the ways others can, and in this adaptation, the actors bring that feeling to life.

They are there, working in their own lives, on their own projects. Malcom quietly sees what Jude refuses to acknowledge about his worsening condition and accommodating for it even despite the push back of his best friend. And Andy who can be seen pacing at the side of the stage, calling Jude when he can sense everything is getting too much for him - they are both there for him in their own quiet ways, and their loyalty and love for Jude is never questioned by the audience. It is also important to note that in this adaptation of the novel, neither of these characters address the audience directly - the only two whose focuses are solely within the story with no fourth-wall breaks.

Omari Douglas as JB, on the other hand, stands out more than anyone. First as a result of his costumes - often more brighter than those of his castmates - and then just as how he presents himself. Anyone who watched his performance in It’s a Sin will recall how Douglas’ presence demands to be noticed, and this is carried forth onto the Harold Pinter Stage. He captures the heart of JB’s character - desperate to be heard, to be needed by his friends. Charming in his own way, despite how his messy character causes him to betray his friends at several points in the story. 

Douglas transitions well from how JB is around his friends - brash, loud, confident - to how he truly feels when talking to the audience. His voice is softer, he somehow seems a little smaller as he talks about watching Jude, how he feels Willem doesn’t value his friendship as highly as the others, how he feels they don’t need him anymore.

While JB’s drug addiction is rather rushed in this adaptation - it’s discussed at length in the novel - Douglas eloquently displays his anguish to the audience, his desperation to quit. A previously difficult to like character, after having seen him mock Jude’s disability, and betray his trust, the audience is able to empathise and understand him better. And when it is just him and Jude left at the end of the show, Douglas doesn’t say anything, but takes up the same space as had previously been filled by Willem and Malcom. He quietly watches Jude - just as he had before with his painting, only this time, it’s out of concern for his friend, rather than concern for his career and viewing him as a muse.

I have already mentioned how this production brought me to tears on several occasions, however none made me sob more so than Luke Thompson’s monologue at the end before his car crash. Having already read the book several times, I had known that this was coming and yet it didn’t stop me from hoping that somehow I’d misunderstood the plot point and that Willem did actually survive. So when Thompson took centre-stage and I knew what was next, my sister took my hand as the two of us prepared ourselves.

Beyond the tear-jerker of a monologue, when I later considered the adaptation as a whole I wondered over the choice to mention Hemming at that point. Perhaps this mention worked some some of the audience, however for me I felt it should have been mentioned earlier, as it is in the novel. With Willem only mentioning Hemming before he dies and only in reference to Jude, it caused me to reflect somewhat poorly on their relationship. It’s a minor point about the adaptation, however I do wonder if mentioning his older brother earlier, before Jude himself begins to use a wheelchair, it would have been more impactful.

I could sing praises about the chemistry between Norton and Thompson onstage - however considering I have the voice of a dying seal, it’s probably best that I don’t. Instead, I’ll simply say that their interactions in the second act, as Willem confesses his attraction to Jude, and he struggles to understand it caused my heart to skip a beat. 

Norton captures Jude’s innocence throughout the play perfectly - from the moments that he slips into his childhood self in flashbacks, to when he’s so unsure in his relationship with Willem, unused to being with someone who does genuinely love and care for him. 

All in all, I enjoyed this stage adaptation of A Little Life - if “enjoy” can be the correct word for a production that brought me to tears and caused me to question the meaning of life. It was hauntingly beautiful, heartbreakingly sad and utterly harrowing. I don’t believe I’ve ever been quite so moved by a whole troupe of actors and the way that they characterise their roles. While I certainly have some criticisms and hang-ups about this show and the story in general, I shall save those for another post, hopefully less long and wordy.

Would I return to the Harold Pinter Theatre to watch it again given the choice? Truthfully, I’m not sure. While I fell in love with these actors, the direction, set design and music, I’m unsure if I could watch it again and feel the same level of intensity as I did on this watch. Also, I cried enough to give myself a headache by the end - so if I were to watch again, I’d have to remember to bring a water bottle to ensure I stayed hydrated.

[readingwitharthur]

october 22, 2023

I just read the first chapter of the “axiom of equality” part of a little life and dude I’m really reconsidering the way I view life as a whole.

x=x, yes Jude, I feel you so fucking much, all my life I felt like I wouldn’t surpass this feeling of being wrong, the wrongdoings of my childhood, my mistakes and mistakes of others done to me haunt me every single moment of my days, maybe If I were funnier, maybe I if worked on my weight a little harder it would disappear, what did I do to deserve so much hate from others as a kid? to experience the heavy bullying? why should it stain my memory like a wine stained carpet? (you get used to it but it’s never really clean, this metaphor worked in my head so please bear with it). and Caleb, man I’ve met so many fucking Calebs in my life, people i trusted at first sight, thought it could work just to be utterly disappointed at the outcome.

“you’re not your past”, easier said than done.

it’s 3:15 a.m where I live as i’m writing this and I doubt i’ll be able to afford a good night of sleep due the mental state i find myself in. I haven’t cried once while reading this book, maybe it’s because I see so much of myself in these characters that I’m just perplexed and angry, at myself, at others who made me feel like a complete piece of shit my whole life, at the JB’s, cause we all have that one friend that, at some point, made fun of our insecurities and left us feeling like garbage.

read “a little life” by Hanya Yanagihara, i promise it’ll change you and the way you interpret life and others (and i haven’t even finished it yet)

[benchpancake]

[brittlehearttwarm]

Just saw someone on Instagram say closing a little life by hanya yanaghihara feels like losing a close friend because of how real all the characters feel and it’s exactly how it felt to finish it for the first time

[crappy-lei]

this book, i mean this goddamn book.

i was reading "a little life" from the time i was feeling isolated and also not feeling anything actually. i truly underestimated and expected this book to be awful, considering it was 'overrated/hyped'. i was casually skimming til i finished the chapter one first section of the book, eventually i wanted to stop because it was just that good and i don't feel like ending it too soon. i thought about how i wanted to linger on this book as long as i can, if it meant reading and sticking around with these lovely sad characters and their not-so-little stories—to somewhow arouse a feeling in me and it feels like spending time with this book were like choosing to remain yourself on a complex relationship and as well as it feels like having a deep friendship and creating an intense connection or intimacy with someone close from home that you've been longing to love or idk.

this extremely weird attachment i'd developed within this book, i think t'was the sense of comfort and relief that i'm unconsciously relying on even tho i'm simultaneously perceiving the subtle joy and pain from the sadness itself.

and that's when i decided to read another book (daisy jones and the six which i unexpectedly hated it & the seven husbands of evelyn hugo like wow it was so good) that would kill my time by idle reading that would alter and forget this current novel i'm reading in order to reread again the first chapter and cost my time to restore those wholesome feelings that would feel like the first time. yeah i'm that desperate twat that would do everything to relive the nostalgia sensation. i've repeatedly visited the two chapters thrice and third chapter twice. still can't get over how disturbed and anxious i was that night when i was reading the half of chapter three - third section.

this is the kind of story you are expected to encounter all the saddest and traumatic moments so painfully numb to the point you won't cry for it which tears are solely reserved for the happy moments you'd wished for granted. crying for the small things is much more agonizing.

slowburn stories will always be my favorite and this one really tested my patience to the fullest. i mean it took 512 pages to see the characters finally- haha

page 690 u crushed my heart and it felt like its about to burst.

"dear comrade" wtf then "lispenard street' i've never ever brought some tissues while reading—in my entire experience. literally got nothing to say and i'm not even exaggerating.

feeling overwhelmed everytime i continue to read the remaining chapters, it was like this book was a reminder of my rigid life: constant pressures, collections of what-if's, things i should've and could've done while i'm still young and figuring shit out and sieze the youth energy in me but really at this age i'm already filled with solemn regrets in the sense of nostalgia, and again it feels like i'm having parallel feelings and visions of myself when i turn 30 and this story will be destined to mine. it is truly difficult to read but it has this little comfort i'm craving for myself or from someone i've been pining to attain but couldn't and this book provided the lack of emotions, social connections, and more specially this intense detachement i've been experiencing.

all i could think about is jb, mal, andy, harold, and mainly jude and willem. feels like the book is still not over yet, felt like their stories are still running in my head and i wanted to keep and them and feel their presence as long as i wanted and i'd cry for them but at this point i'm dead inside and i missed them already.

it's been 24hrs since i've finished the book and i still think about them. i tried to sleep the sadness off but still i was dreaming about them. i can't get them off my mind, i'm trying to put into words to somehow point out the aftereffects so that i could deal something regarding to this shitty feeling but til now i couldn't describe everything i'm feeling. it's not the trauma that stays with me, it's the characters in the story. albeit they're fictional but they were like my friends already; given the short time i've spent with them felt like years. they are so alive in my mind even though some of them actually died in the story but idk it is just weird that i'm a college dropout yet it seemed likw i was having the best college experience i've never had while i was reading and since i've reached the end, it left me feeling empty with all those years i've endured and suffered with jude, harold, willem, jb, andy, mal and even julia were already gone and now it seemed like i'm entering my 30's still lost like how lost i was in my 20's but the difference is this is the real adulting phase, a life not existing in a book without them and i could never ever restore those friendships again, i could never have those people; that kind of bond; that sense of belongingness and connection were eventually aging. it haunts me everytime considering that it really reflects the reality i'm living in. ever since i've finished the book, i'm not prepared to go back and be in the present and let the current life happens to me. all the emotions becoming resonant, echoing its sadnesses and peaknesses of life. but now i wanted to reel in for the company of the lows not with the highs and let them feel through my insides until it becomes fortitude as jude said at some point in his darkest moments. i really missed them and my friends from home. it is fucked up when u realized you are more alone than you think it was. i wish i could have something like them the four of them.

[bombaciouscaboose]

A Little Life except they NEVER get famous and they STAY young and be HAPPY and LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH AND WORK OUT THEIR ISSUES IN A HEALTHY MANNER‼️‼️‼️

[cel175061]

do any A Little Life enthusiasts and haters have tips for me for my BEFORE-DURING-AFTER read??

[cigarettesandbacchanals]

Jude deserved the world and so much more but he was afraid to be loved the way people wanted to love him (especially Willem) and that just breaks my heart…❤️‍🩹

[lumos04]

Sometimes when you read a book it becomes such a huge part of your life, that everything you do or see reminds you of that. Reading a little life did that to me. Whenever I see something, like a flower that I've never seen before I think about how if Jude was with me he'd probably know everything about it. When I discover a new song I wish I could share it with Willem. When I see a building architecture I wonder what would Malcolm say, when I see art or colours I wonder how JB would use those colours. I think it had become such a huge part now and sometimes I wish I hadn't read it but man I would have missed meeting all these great people. Harold and Julia, Anna, Andy and every character of A little life (I can't remember Jude's lawyer friend's name T-T) AH I LOVE LIFE BUT ALSO HATE IT SO SO MUCH.

[legendarycollectiveflower]

You know that melancholic feeling when you close a book and you find yourself in your dull reality?

Well that feeling was a relief every time I closed A Little Life, because I never felt so grateful for my boring life like when I was reading of Jude's.

[goeasyonjude]

a little life characters as midnights songs

Malcolm : Question… ?

JB : Anti-Hero

Jude : Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve

Willem : You’re On Your Own, Kid

[kjaerestemin]

my annotated copy of A Little Life