#Just A Rather Very Intelligent Queue

[leftduck9986]

Picture This (What's in the Cardboard Box? A Meta/Theory/Watsit Featuring Mary Poppins)

Happy New Year!

A fun theory for you, told with accompanying picture collages from the Good Omens series, spoilers for Disney's Mary Poppins and occasional quotes transcribed from the Good Omens audio book.

As unbelievably silly this theory is, please remember, DO NOT ASK OR TAG NEIL GAIMAN ON FAN THEORY, thank you kindly.

After Armageddon is averted at the airbase, Aziraphale and Crowley are worried about what will happen to them:

"Is is over do you think?" Crowley shrugged. "Not for us, I'm afraid."

"I don't think you need to go worrying. I know all about you two. Don't you worry."

Adam knows all about Aziraphale and Crowley, ooOOOOooo!

He ALSO knows:

that Crowley had seen Mary Poppins on television one Christmas (...) and while he toyed with the idea of a hurricane as an effective and incredibly stylish way of disposing of the queue of nannies (...) outside the Cultural Attaché's Regents Park residence, he opted for a tube strike instead. And when the day came, only one nanny turned up;

that Aziraphale is extremely intelligent - And it was an angelic intelligence, which, while not being particularly higher than human intelligence, is much broader and has the advantage of having thousands of years of practice. - and what took Agnes Nutter's descendants centuries to decipher, he did in next-to-no-time, and;

that Anathema Device received Agnes Nutter's Further Nice and Accurate Prophecies and chose not to continue her life as a descendant.

He stopped halfway across the field. Someone was burning something. He looked at the plume of white smoke above the chimney of Jasmine Cottage and he paused. And he listened. He could hear laughter. It wasn't a witch's cackle - it was the low and earthy guffaw of someone who knew a great deal more than could possibly be good for them.

The white smoke writhed and curled above the cottage chimney. For a fraction of an instant, Adam saw outlined in the smoke a handsome female face. A face that hadn't been seen on Earth for over three hundred years. Agnes Nutter winked at him.

And if Adam knows what Agnes knows, there's no need to go messing anybody about. No need to worry ...

In the 1964 Disney film, Mary Poppins, Jane and Michael's letter advertising for a new nanny is torn up by their father Mr Banks and thrown into the fireplace. The shredded pieces of paper fly up and out of the chimney.

After a sudden and rather focused hurricane blows the queue of other nannies away, in blows the Practically-Perfect-in-Every-Way Mary Poppins. During her "interview" she reads from Jane and Michael's advertisement, MIRACULOUSLY intact.

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Musical interlude: when Aziraphale arrives in Edinburgh, the show music makes me want to sing "Chim Chim Cher-ee" (hmm, same style and minor in tonality, with the visual of all those chimney rooftops in-scene - that's gotta be on purpose, no?)

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The heavenly miracle sound - there are 2 parts to it. First, a descending bass, Vvvvvvmmm, second, a choral "ah" layered with shimmering. So, if attempting to sing it A Cappella: "Vvvvvvmmm-AH-shh"

At the end of Gabriel's trial: "I'll just need a-" He hears (edit, Sunday 7th Jan 2024: initiates the miracle with his eyes and we hear) the bass drop, Vvvvvvmmm, looks up in time to catch the cardboard box on the latter miracle sound, AH-shh, then looks inside the box and smiles in recognition. He now has a mission, and whomever has just sent him the box - and what's inside it (edit, Sunday 7th Jan 2024: the cardboard box) - is going to help.

At the very beginning of Heaven's overhead CCTV footage, the cardboard box can be seen with a very dark something inside (zooming in is required at this stage as the image begins small). Being able to see clearly to the bottom of the box's interior, in relatively natural light at the bookshop, one would think the intensely bright light in Heaven would also allow for a clear view, especially from above ...

While the Further Prophecies were only loose pages - Agnes would have known that they were going to be burnt anyway, so why go to the trouble of having them published and bound? - they could have been miracle-d into something modern and fancy, perhaps in the style of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

Gabriel places the matchbox in with it (I know I'd be worried about the fly escaping, as well as it being jostled about with the matchbox once Gabriel turns the cardboard box up-side-down, but after seeing the fly crawl back into the cardboard box just before Aziraphale brings it inside the bookshop, I'm trusting in the fly's ability to be controlled by will of thought and that the fly knows to stay close to its master). He closes just 2 flaps of the box and then a bass whoosh sounds in the right speaker (not part of the soundtrack). The "book" has entered the fly! Has it stayed in the fly?

Then, on Earth, Gabriel approaches the bookshop. The only Whickber Street person seen to be using their phone AS A PHONE and not a camera, [placeholder name "Mary"] is listening intently. Perhaps the voice on the other end of the call says something like, "how goes operation Escort the Queen to the Hive?" and perhaps she answers, "we have the package safely surrounded, it has almost arrived, standby ..."

Then, she and hand-on-face-guy have front row 'seats' (standing room only) to the show, behind Gabriel; beginning to lift her phone when it looks like Gabriel has been rejected entry, before Aziraphale finally agrees to let him in. She is the very first to leave the scene when the mission is complete, signalling for everyone to resume their usual buzzing about, as if to say, "He's in. Aaaaaand we out!"

(These last two paragraphs were a summary of my first Tumblr post, The Whickber Street Bees and Their Queen.)

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When Jim explains that he feels like an empty house, he justifies remembering "how it all began" by looking where the furniture isn't (the gaps!) and it seems that every other instance - lavender eyes activated or not - is covered here with this statement, what with recalling more about where his memory is, as well as Metatron's "institutional problem" line from the trial. The only instance unaccounted for with his explanation, especially because of the trance-like state of delivery followed with Jim in distress (not quite the same as his first memory in episode 2) - the tempest prophecy from episode 3.

Perhaps Gabriel was in part control about what thoughts needed to remain in his head, or it's simply because they were the last ones in use, kept at the forefront by will and repetition, in order to get himself to the bookshop. Though, he was given an ineffable assist, which perhaps included re-configuring the 4 box flaps to collapse, interlocking pin-wheel style?

So, the Whickber Street "bees" have provided an escort for getting the Queen to the hive or if you prefer, the book delivered to the librarian/historian. However, if the book was the first thing to enter the fly and then say, was accidentally swapped into Gabriel for his memories, the Tempest prophecy came forth when Crowley accessed it, by means of a keyword. An INDEX!!!

Agnes has heard you Crowley, and Agnes says, "N-gotchya."

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According to a previous meta/theory, the event this prophecy is referring to has already happened, so it would make sense that, as Anathema's mother says in S1E2, "The answers are always in the book, it's just sometimes you don't see them 'til afterwards."

Or rather, as Anathema says to Newt in the book: "[Agnes] managed to come up with the kind of prediction that you can only understand after the thing has happened ... she just picked up one little fragment of information ... most of the time she comes up with such an oblique reference that you can't work it out until it's gone past and then it all slots into place."

It would have been only too obvious to hear Jim speak this prophecy in the English style of the 1600s! But if the echoed voice we're hearing is Anathema's - did she ever pronounce the extra "e"s and "a"s at the ends of words, in the show?

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When Gabriel has his memories returned to him, has the book re-entered the fly?

When he and Beelzebub are reprising Everyday, is Gabriel, with his left finger, releasing the fly into the room, for Crowley to capture shortly afterward once 'alone' (the chair facing the staircase)?

WITH. HIS. TONGUE???

Just after Aziraphale touches his fingers to his lips, is he repositioning the fly for safe-keeping, as with The Bullet Catch?

Finally, in the lift during the closing credits, Aziraphale is trying so hard NOT to smile before giving in. It's as if ...

As If ...

AS IF HE IS READING THE BOOK!!! Discovering and reading the book, turning the pages with his eyes right before the big smile!

AAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now Aziraphale knows what Agnes knows.

From experience, he can trust that any prediction made by Agnes Nutter will always be "on the money."

[not-a-taken-username]

harry potter and the stupid fucking triwizard tournament

by: notatakenusername (aka me!)

summary: The moment Harry James Potter hears his name come out of the stupid, obese, wine-glass doppelganger, (also known as the Goblet of Fire), he's done holding himself back. Queue the chaos that happens when he gives into his impulsive thoughts.

snippet from chapter 9, where Sirius gets his trail:

Umbridge stiffened, eye twitching in anger. “Very well then! Please detail the supposed incident.” 

“It was during my third year in Hogwarts. Ron’s rat, Scabbers, who was also Peter Pettigrew, escaped from Ron’s hold and ran to the Whomping Willow, which has a passage to the Shrieking Shack. It was there where Sirius Black was. We initially thought he was a threat, but he explained the truth not too soon after Professor Lupin showed up. I saw the animagus transformation with my own eyes, as well as Peter Pettigrew’s admission of guilt.” 

Fudge stared down at Hermione with an odd look on his face. Umbridge huffed. 

“Well, what an…interesting story! It would, of course, be possible, if not for the fact that all animagus are registered. Are you aware of this fact, girl?” 

Harry heard Remus scoff in disgust from next to him, which was honestly understandable. Umbridge was treating Hermione as if she had the intelligence of a five-year-old, which was just ridiculous! The reason was rather obvious, too– Umbridge thought because Hermione was Muggleborn, she was less intelligent. Based on the way Hermione’s eye just twitched in pure anger, she’s about to desperately prove Umbridge wrong. 

“Oh? Is that so? Well, girl, are you aware that not every fucking animagus registers in the catalog? Do you know how easy that is to do? No? Do you know that registering is something you do willingly, which means there are probably dozens of unregistered animagus running around out there? Do you know how absolutely stupid the animagus system, which you no doubt set up, is? Do you know how easy it would be to manage this by making the animagus transformation process a class mandated by the Ministry to track all of them instead of having them register on their own? No? You don’t, do you, girl?”

Sirius let out a loud bark of laughter. Umbridge and Fudge could do nothing but gape in pure shock. Hermione smirked in satisfaction. Rita Skeeter’s camera went off. 

Ah. It was simply perfect. 

[arwenadreamer]

Let me tell you a bit about my wonderful, wonderful JiB 11 experiences.

It finally happened! I've met Jared Padalecki!

First thing Saturday morning I went to his auto. I had bought a moose notebook back in 2019 when I got the JiB tickets, and have been waiting to give it to him ever since. He looked at it, then visibly did a double take and started to laugh. I told him "Back when I got the notebook you had this huge hiatus beard!" He smiled, stroked with his knuckles over his own beard and said "I'll get there again!".

Next up was my Jared photo. While I was standing in line for the OP, he made eye contact two times, very briefly, and I almost died on the spot. Lol. I am an aro/ace woman in my fourties, but this man is killing me!

We took the picture, I said thank you and turned away. While I was turning away, his hand stayed on my back, and he rubbed me twice in circles. I don't remember much from this op, but I do remember the feeling of him stroking by back in circles. I also remember the feeling of his chin on top of my head. And how cold that stupid (sorry) Gucci jacket was against my face.

I'm not putting an uncensored picture on here, but believe me, I couldn't smile any more if I tried. I have a look on my face that is completely over the moon, but who can blame me?

With Jensen, I asked him to be hugged from behind, and I really love this photo too. I just wish I had left my jacket on. My bare arms don't look so good on here. But that's just me being self critical. So what the heck, I'm gonna share it with you anyways.

@takikojou and me planned on standing in line for a question at the first panel sunday morning. (A Jared solo panel.) I knew what question I wanted to ask, but I planned on writing it down. Just to be sure I'd get it right.

But while we were sitting in the Saturday evening Jared solo panel, close to the right hand side microphone for questions, the queue on that side was getting shorter and shorter, and suddenly there was no one standing in line at all. On the other side there were still plenty of people queing, and there was also quite some time left on the panel. So I just got up and went up to the micro without thinking. While I was standing there, my heart beat like crazy. I have no idea what was being said during the question Jared was currently answering. I just tried to get the question right in my head. When it was my turn, I asked him:

"At the last JiB I asked Jensen a question for both of you -"

Jared: "I wasn't there last JiB."

Me: "I know."

(That sounded rather rude-ish, but I swear I didn't mean it that way. I was just so incredibly nervouse.)

Me: "I asked Jensen to answer for both of you and he did, but he also said you would probably have this long insidefull answer. So now I'm asking you. What aspect of Sam's and Dean's personality was hardest to act?" And then, because I was kind of besides myself, I felt the need to clarify "Sam, in your case."

Jared said that a lot of Sam came pretty natural to him, and he gives credit for that to the writers who got to know who he is and wrote Sam that way. As an example he mentions Sam's "empathetic puppy dog eyes" written in scripts. He then says that the hardest part to act was Sam's kind of comedy. Because for him Sam's kind of comedy was hard to find. And that maybe that was correct, because Sam didn't think of himself as a funny person. Whereas Cordell Walker's kind of comedy is basically Jared's kind of comedy.

He concluded: "That's my answer. I hope it lived up to Jensen's expectations." Lol.

That's when I messed up completely in my nervousnes. Because I repeated Jensen's answer the wrong way around. Jensen had said for Jared it would be "having a shorter older brother". But I said to Jared:

"Jensen said it would be having a taller older brother."

But Jared, being the intelligent man he is, and knowing Jensen the way he does, immediately made sense of it.

"I guess for me it would be having a shorter older brother. Because my brother is taller than I am. So."

And with that he basically repeated Jensen's answer for him from JiB 12. Lol.

Here's the video, if you're interested. My question starts at around 19:10.

As I've just rewatched the video, I've realised that he was looking at me a lot. Unfortunately, I couldn't really see from my position at the microphone. In a panel on the next day Jared mentions that everybody on that microphone is squinting and shielding their eyes. There was this bright light shining right in peoples eyes over there. They dialed it down a bit after Jared mentioning it on Sunday, but Saturday, I could hardly make him out on stage.

On Sunday came my long awaited J2 OP. I asked them if they could look like Sam and Dean as opposed to Jared and Jensen. They both said sure and we did the OP. When I left I said thank you. Jensen answered in the most Texas drawl "You're welcome!". I loved the way he said it.

I also love the OP! I tried to smile a bit less, to make it more of a Winchester pic. I failed horribly at that. But again, who can blame me?

On my other post someone commented it looks like Sam and Dean are confused that there is someone in between their hug. And that is so true, lol. "Sorry, boy's, I'll get out of your way, now."

When I went to the Jensen auto with my friend, we were waiting in line inside the auto room, even though Jensen was not there yet. But Jared was. He was sitting at the table, giving auto's. I was standing at a point in line that was basically closest to Jared for about 20 to 30 minutes, without my line moving. So I had plenty of time watching Jared from about 3 meters away. And I was blown away by his kindness, his gentle and funny nature. What everyone says about him is absolutely true. He really makes these short interactions for everyone special. And his full attention is at the person in front of him. Always. It's one thing to experience that in person for one short interaction. It's another to witness that with dozen's of people. It's not just one friendly hello after the other. (Which, honestly, would be enough to ask for.) It's that his facial expression changes with every person. With some he laughs, with some he's serious. He's listening intently if someone talks to him. I could't here what was being said (and wouldn't have wanted to eavesdrop anyway), and couldn't see what he signed. But I saw his face. I saw he reacted to that. And it never seemed forced. He just is that kind of person. Genuine. Empathetic. I only saw one thing given to him. And I had to laugh. Someone brought him Haribo gummy bears. He was so FAST taking that and slipping it into the bag for presents he had behind the table. It was a blink and you'll miss it moment. Lol. I guess that's also genuinely him. He loves his sweets.

Then Jensen arrived and I had my autograph. He was really, really nice and attentive too. Jensen also always makes sure to look up at the end of each auto and look people in the eye.

I had so many great interactions throughout the convention, and everything I had hoped for had come true already. There were just a few panels left I wanted to watch.

So @takikojou and I went into the panel room for the Jared and Misha panel. And she points out that there is no-one at the microphone on the left hand side yet. She asked me to stand in line with her. So I did. I quickly came up with a question for both of them. I didn't want to ask a Jared only question at a Mishalecki panel. I thought that would be rude.

So I wanted to ask where in Germany besides Berlin they had been. I thought this would be a short question with short answers, nothing special. But then Jared Padalecki basically had a whole conversation with me, and it turned into the most amazing moment of the whole JiB convention!

I'll leave the link here. It starts at 7:20

You may have seen videos where people stand in the hallway at the end of JiB con, and the actors come out to walk through the people, giving high fives and stuff. There's a small area where people can stand, behind barrier tapes. When my friends and me came out of the panel room, that area was already crowded. So we just left the convention area through a hallway in which no-one was allowed to stand. But at the end of the hallway people gathered again. My friends and I got a really good place there, right at the end of the hallway, where the room opens again. Security quickly put up more barrier tapes. So basically, it was a espallier (? that what you call it? ) of people, then a hallway, and then another espallier of people, forming one long line.

People in the first area where shouting for Jensen to come out, and he did. But he didn't see us down at the second area at the end of the hallway, so the turned around and went back into the green room again. Same with Jared after that. They just didn't see us. I know because I was the first person at the end of the hallway and had a perfect view all the way up. They didn't even look in our direction. And they couldn't hear us over the loud crowd in area one.

Then came Rob, and he saw us. When he realised there were so many more people down there, he just started a sprint and came to us. The security guard accompaniying him was completely taken by surprise and had trouble keeping up, lol. Rob went through our row, and so did every other actor after that.

Matt Cohen was last. He went through our row, and when he came back, while passing me, I asked him:

"Matt, can you ask Jared and Jensen to come down here as well?"

He said he would. And he did.

A few minutes later all the actors came out together, and they all came into our second area.

I thought that was a pretty great grand finale. But then my friend surprised me with a can of FBBC beer she had brought from Austin to share with me. And that was just the crown on top of an overwhelming, amazing, wonderful weekend. I had the time of my life! And I am so grateful I got to share it all with @takikojou and M. It would not have been half as wonderful without you two!

[brightsuzaku]

So, I Have Space Freighters: Part 1

Oh, let's talk about something FUN for a change! It's a longpost about... space freighters. 

Ok, so in most of the stuff I've come up with, after years of role-playing science-fictional stuff with my best friend? For our stories?! Set in space! And, I'm one of the people participating here, so we've got "spaceships as people", too! Riveting! That's one of my favorite concepts! 

Well, an idea that has been a part of these worlds that we come up with includes Extremely Dumb Freighters. Like, they are not smart, and I mean they are intentionally not that smart. They really do not need to be, for how they work.

I am so sorry in advance to perfectly intelligent, quick-thinking, and hard-working heavy space boats that do the thankless job of Moving Stuff Around The Stars All The Time, but my first ideas were of specifically dumb freighters. And, it turns out they have their niche, and they fill it very well. 

So, it's like, we have these big slow-travel freighter ships that travel along preset "tracks" through general space, and they take special pre-set warp gates, along said tracks to speed along. Now, these occasional warp gates that are set along their tracks' are 2-way gates that only allow freighters through. And so, these ships normally pass through with zero issues, and trundle along their way all happy and undeterred.

But, as I originally explained it, the oldest in the fleet "aren't well-optimized and cannot adapt to setbacks". I'm talking about basic setbacks with basic solutions as simple as, well... Moving! Even slightly! In a different direction of some kind! To advance travel progress!

You see, because space allows movement along all axes it should be simple enough to move out of the way, right?

But no, no, I said poorly optimized, didn't I? They are not very maneuverable, and are trapped within their constraints, ostensibly for safety, I'm sure.

You see, most other ships that encounter these big freighters are gonna hear a monotonous "You Are Blocking My Route." repeated into all channels for the next measurable 4 hours (and counting). We'll get back to this, I promise.

Freighters will say "You Are Blocking My Route" regardless of what may be preventing them from progressing their travel.

So, imagine the most ideal un-ideal situation, where a route is being "blocked". A freight systems engineer could see that this was flagged, and intervene to change the track's checkpoints of each part of the route slightly. This would force freighters to "move around", but that kind of intervention requires LOTS of ships hitting LOTS of setbacks. It might even start to look like a queue!

Intervention, however, is extremely rare.

See, in a normal situation where a big hunk of rock is "blocking the route" the ship will complain about it repeatedly, until the hunk idly floats away. If MULTIPLE ships queue up for too long, someone probably does intervene, because that is rather unusual.

But usually, stuff floats back out of the way.

Every single track that these freighters move along has been specifically designed to allow passage with as few problems as possible. There should not be many issues with debris! Stuff rarely changes that much in space, unless something specifically happens! And, even if something does idly get in the way, usually a route is clear enough within an hour.

These freighters are big enough and strong enough that they could probably plow through minor problems with relative ease, even as they repeat "You Are Blocking My Route" the whole way through. 

So, unless it's an actual debris field that cannot easily be rerouted, and some horrifying freighter backup queue suddenly appears on Known Space News 655 or something, these small blips usually do not affect freight traffic. The freighters. Are just really stupid.

They do a great job of moving where they need to move! Going where they need to go! Unbothered! Thriving! In their lane! Literally!

So, for now, you know how my freighters work!

I AM SORRY TO EVERY INTELLIGENT AND HARD-WORKING FREIGHTER THAT DOES NOT NEED THIS SHADE.

These space freighters largely transport cargo that is being traded or moved all the time, and so the tracks are like a supply line. Faster freighters that need brains, personhood, and rights handle different cargo, including anything time-sensitive stuff. (GIVE YOUR SPACESHIPS RIGHTS.)

Also, PART 2 is up!

[breezypunk]

10, 19, 29, 45 for the character asks <3

Thank you! <3

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10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

Vaughn is very street smart. He feels there's no way he'd be able to be a merc without having some basic knowledge of how to handle the law. However, he has a lot of knowledge on this, and is kind of cocky about it. He is also very intelligent, but than sometimes he opens his mouth and you'd think otherwise. xD

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19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

The disillusion was some of Vaughn's fixers telling him certain jobs were going to be easy, breezy & beautiful. He believed it. He knows how to do his job, and he does it well (queue cockiness). But not all jobs are as quick and easy as some of his fixer's make it out to be, and the horror of having to deal with certain jobs was almost too much for Vaughn to handle. He'd rather just to be told it's going to be difficult, cos he at least knows it's the truth, and harsh truths are better than lies. (Most jobs he does are easy, cos of how he does it, but let's not fool ourselves, merc work isn't for everyone).

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29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

That he has too much of a soft spot. (I can only blame myself, lol). He used to let people walk all over him because he never knew how to say no. He is a huge people pleaser, he's had to train himself not to feel bad for saying no, but it still makes him feel like shit.

Also clinginess. His lack of love and affection growing up made his clinginess over the top, Goro found this out rather quickly, but Goro is also clingy, so he doesn't mind it. But Vaughn knows he needs to give him and everyone else space... He's just a love bug though.. he wants to give love to all his family.

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45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic?

LOL, Vaughn doesn't base things on fact. Actually, he's a shoot first, asks questions later type person. (More like stab.. he hates guns, but you get it).

Which means no, he doesn't think first.. Only if it's super important. Even than.. If he had a really dangerous job to do, than he will be responsible about it, but that word isn't even in Vaughn's dictionary. he likes to live for danger.

Passionate!? Omg, there's something Vaughn has a lot of.. Passion. He's passionate about living his life to the fullest since given a second chance at it.

[picsofsannyas]

OSHO~YOU SAY THE CRYSTALLIZATION OF THE EGO IS NECESSARY TO MAKE IT WORTHWHILE DROPPING IT

OSHO, YOU SAY THE CRYSTALLIZATION OF THE EGO IS NECESSARY TO MAKE IT WORTHWHILE DROPPING IT AND THAT FOR THIS, INDEPENDENCE AND REBELLION ARE NEEDED. YET BY BECOMING A SANNYASIN AND A MEMBER OF A GROUP IT WOULD SEEM TO PRECLUDE ATTAINING THE INDEPENDENCE YOU SAY IS REQUIRED FOR THIS CRYSTALLIZATION. PLEASE COMMENT. David Fox,

I have come across many foxes -- foxes are cunning, clever. All foxes have been Jews in the past, or vice versa! You have enough crystallization already. Believe me, you can drop it! But rather than seeing the point you are trying to cover up your cowardliness in a cunning way.

You want to be a sannyasin, that much I know, otherwise this question would not have arisen. There is a desire, but there is also a desire to be cautious, not to jump too quickly. You will become a sannyasin; that much is certain. No Jew can escape, no queue can escape! You will be back soon -- you are already caught. You may not know it because it takes a little time. My traps are subtle! And when it is a question of dealing with foxes I am also a Jew -- I know all the strategies! So we can play a little bit of hide-and-seek, but you have enough crystallized ego already.

And you say:... by BECOMING A SANNYASIN AND A MEMBER OF A GROUP IT WOULD SEEM TO PRECLUDE ATTAINING THE INDEPENDENCE YOU SAY IS REQUIRED FOR THIS CRYSTALLIZATION.

A sannyasin is not a member of a group -- it is not a Rotary Club! A sannyasin is directly in tune with me. It is a love affair -- not even a marriage, just a love affair, very delicate. The organization that you see is just arbitrary, to make things easier for you.

I lived for twenty years without any organization, but then it was so impossible to work. Even in the night when I was asleep there were fifty people sitting in my room; everywhere there was a crowd. Even to talk to me was impossible; one could not ask anything. It became so impossible to give attention to individuals, to help them to grow, to share my joy with them. And the crowd was absolutely useless, because I am not a person who can have anything to do with a crowd. My work is basically concerned with the individual because only the individual has the capacity to grow. The crowd never grows; it remains always the same. It was the same when it crucified Jesus, it was the same when it poisoned Socrates. it was the same when it killed Mansur, it is the same with me. The crowd is absolutely useless; the crowd belongs to the lowest stratum of intelligence.

And what I am saying can be understood only by very highly intelligent people; that is the possibility of only a few individuals, a few chosen individuals. Just to make it possible for chosen individuals to be with me I had to create a formal organization. And this has been of immense help, but this is not an organization at all. Yes, it will become an organization when I am no more...

So, David Fox, be quick! I can leave this world any moment Don't wait any longer for the crystallization of your ego -- the ego that you have is enough, it will do! As far as dropping it is concerned, it can be dropped. And don't try to rationalize things. Don't try to cover up your cowardliness, your cleverness. It is not a group at all. Each sannyasin is related to my personally; it is a person-to-person, intimate relationship. And you are not becoming a member of any group, you are simply becoming a member of me. The word 'member' is beautiful; it means a limb. My hand is my member, my leg is my member. my heart is my member. Hence the beautiful meaning of the word 're-member'; it simply means becoming a member of the whole again. That is the meaning of 'remember': becoming part of the whole, losing yourself in the ocean -- like a dewdrop slipping from the lotus leaf and falling into the ocean and becoming one with the ocean.

Remember, and become a member of me! And the moment you become a member of me, I become a member of you. The more you are part of me, the more I am part of you.

Just the other day one of our beautiful sannyasins, Vimalkirti, who belongs to the Royal Family of Germany, he is the great-grandson of the last German Emperor, suddenly collapsed. He was doing karate and his breathing stopped. His heart is functioning perfectly well, but the brain centre that controls the breathing is no longer functioning. There has been a haemorrhage; some blood has covered the breathing centre in the brain.

I went to see him last night and although he is in a coma a part of him immediately felt my presence. When I touched him he responded. That response is not of the brain, that response is not of the body. The body is in a mess, the brain is no longer functioning, but man is more than the body and the brain. That something more, that plus, immediately danced with joy. I am part of him, he is part of me. In his life he is part of me, if he goes he is part of me. A sannyasin is one who becomes a member of the being of the Master. Drop your hidden Jewishness, Fox.

Mrs Levy's son, David, had gone from New York, clear across the country to college in California. One day, David phoned his mother. 'Ma, I just got married!' announced David. 'Wonderful, David! Mazel tov!' said Mrs Levy. 'But what was so urgent about it that you had to get married in such a hurry and call me on the phone to break the news?' 'Well, Ma,' said David, 'there's a little problem. She's not Jewish. ' 'Oy vey!' shouted Mrs Levy, but then she calmed down. 'Well, I love you very much, David. You're my only son and I guess I'll have to accept her and make the best of it.' 'But there's another little difficulty, Ma,' continued David. 'She is a little older than I am and also she's pregnant.' 'Oy, David!' screamed his mother. 'How could you do such a thing?' But again she regained her control. 'But you are my only son and I love you, I forgive you.' 'Thanks, Ma, but there's still another little matter. She already has five children!' 'David! David!' Mrs Levy was distraught. 'You're breaking my heart! But you're my own flesh and blood. What can I do for you?' 'Ma, we have nowhere to stay.' 'Come to New York, David,' said Mrs Levy. 'You can have this apartment.' 'But, Ma, where will you stay?' 'Don't worry about me, David. As soon as I put down the phone I'll drop dead!'

Feinberg was on the subway when a man came up to him and asked if he had the time. Feinberg didn't answer him. The man thought he hadn't heard so he asked again. Still Feinberg said nothing. Finally the man walked away toward the other end of the platform. After he was gone another rider approached Feinberg. 'Excuse me, sir, but that seemed like a perfectly reasonable question. I notice you are wearing a watch. Why didn't you give him the time?' 'Well,' replied Feinberg, 'I'll tell you why. I'm standing minding my own business, and this guy wants to know what time it is. So maybe I tell him what time it is. Then we get to talking, and this guy says "How about a drink?" So we have a drink, then we have some more drinks. So after a while I say, "How about coming up to my house for a bite to eat?" So we go up to my house, and we're eating sandwiches in the kitchen when my daughter comes in -- and my daughter is a very good-looking girl. So she falls for this guy, and he falls for her. Then they get married!' The other man was staring at Feinberg in utter amazement. But Feinberg went on. 'And any guy that can't afford a watch I don't want for a son-in-law!'

Now, you are not a sannyasin and you are thinking of becoming a member of a group and of the crystallization of the ego and that you will drop it when it is crystallized... You have gone too far!

David, don't try to hide your desire to become a sannyasin. You can hide it from yourself, but you cannot hide it from me. This time I can forgive you, next time when you come, come ready. This time I can allow you to go without becoming a sannyasin, but next time it is going to happen. So next time, if you come at all, be ready.

And all these things are not going to help. Sannyas is rebellion, it is the ultimate rebellion. It is rebellion against the whole past of humanity, rebellion against all ideologies, philosophies, dogmas, creeds, cults. It is rebellion so that you can simply be yourself.

I am not here to discipline you, I am not here to impose any idea of mine on you. I am just here to help you discover your own being.

And the last thing:

A joke for Vimalkirti.

He used to be here, just the other day he was here, and he will miss the joke in the hospital. And a little laughter inside him will help him immensely. If he can chuckle a little, giggle a little, that may help to melt the damage in the brain. It can melt the whole brain, what about the damage! He is a German and if he had told me before that he had this difficulty I would not have allowed him to do karate. Germans and Japanese don't go together at all, they don't mix. The Second World War has proved it perfectly well -- they tried hard! I would have stopped him doing karate.

So this is a special joke for Vimalkirti. And when you laugh, laugh really loudly because he is in a coma -- the Germans find it very difficult to understand a joke anyway, and he is in a coma... German, and in a coma! So unless you really laugh loudly... so please, even if you are English, laugh! Even if you are German and you don't get the joke, laugh! Even if you are Indian, trust me and laugh, because that is the only prayer we can do for him. Laughter to me is prayer.

A football match was arranged between the Germans and the Americans. The referee was a beautiful Japanese woman. The match began, and all was going well for the Germans until Wolfgang, star player, passed the ball back and scored a goal under the wrong poles. The referee screamed, 'Ko-ho!' and the game continued. After the game there was a big party for both teams. Wolfgang and the Japanese referee began to chat together, had a few drinks, then left to go for dinner. One thing led to another and they returned quite late to Wolfgang's hotel room and went to bed. They began to make love. After a few minutes the Japanese girl whispered softly into Wolfgang's ear, 'Ko-ho!' Wolfgang took this as encouragement and built up more speed. Now she was saying quite forcibly, 'Ko-ho!' He thought she was really getting turned on so he built up to a crescendo of energy. Finally she screamed, 'Ko-ho!' and dropped dead. Wolfgang returned to Germany, a little puzzled. After a few weeks he could not contain his curiosity any longer, so he phoned the Japanese department of the local university. 'Ahem, excuse me,' he mumbled. 'I'm sorry to disturb you... ahem... I am reading a Japanese novel at the moment and I cannot find the meaning of a word, "Ko-ho".' 'Aha,' said a voice on the other end of the phone. '"Ko-ho"? "Ko-ho" means "wrong hole".'

[xnot-big-on-doors]

www.erlanarya.deviantart.com

[tellescope]

❝Sir, there are still terabytes of calculations required before an actual flight is—❞ ❝Jarvis, sometimes you gotta run before you can walk.❞

DechartGames Art Prompts: August ~ Day 23 ~ Walk/Run/Fly

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

Owl Intelligence, and Respecting Their Way of Thought

For those of you who have followed my (original) blog for some time, my stance on owl intelligence should be clear. I am of the mind that owls are just as intelligent as a hawk or a falcon, and the pervasive reputation of these birds as being “lazy” and “stupid” animals is one of my biggest pet peeves.

The Myth of Owl Stupidity

In a cruel twist of fate, this mischaracterization of owls as being “slow” often comes from those who work with owls professionally because owls do not respond to the same training as their diurnal counterparts, but if you are constantly trying to shove a square peg in a triangular hole, it may not be the peg that’s unintelligent.

Diurnal raptors are only distantly related to owls, so it should not be a shock the two groups have more differences than similarities. A hawk is straightforward; they react to visual stimuli much like humans do, and they are at their peak confidence during the daylight. A hawk will look around, see no danger, and feel perfectly content to preen or eat from the glove. They burn off a lot more energy than owls as well since they capture prey by chase and have to be very active in searching for visual queues. A hawk will enter a dark room or have a hood slipped over its head and become almost catatonic because a lack of visual stimulus cues the hawk to feel calmed and stay in place much like they would to roost.

Owls see with their ears, not their eyes. An owl is also an ambush hunter rather than pursuit, every part of their instinctual wiring is geared to ensure they are not seen. If they are not seen and if they are not heard, they are safe, and they can be fed and they can relax in their invisibility. Because of their desires to remain unnoticed, they rarely show the same dramatic flight response of their diurnal cousins. Unlike the hawk, a frightened owl will not attempt relentlessly to take flight, a frightened owl sits as still as possible.

If you’re training a hawk and find it standing in place and looking at its surroundings without apparent urgency, it is a sign the hawk is confident; it needn’t watch you as you aren’t a threat, and it needn’t flee because it is safe and you will provide it food sufficiently. It can take time to look around at other things.

If you’re training an owl and it exhibits a similar behavior of standing firm on the glove and turning its head away from you to look at something else, this is a sign the owl is uncomfortable and worried, it’s not looking around out of curiosity, but to find an exit or a better hiding spot since it feels very visible on fist in the open.

Point of View of the Owl

When training hawks, the mutual relationship between man and bird is obvious. You are providing the hawk a secure roost, food, water, and freedom from disease. The hawk is more than willing to humor you in standing on your glove as though it were a tree limb and take time to look curiously upon whatever new sights you have to offer it, or to chase game you flush for it in the field.

Owls are more complex because the idea of being paraded in front of a crowd of humans or hunting game your noisy feet will scare away are very disagreeable to the owl for good reason. As I said, an owl is comfortable when it is not observed. Owls have a slower metabolism as well, meaning they do not hold food in the same esteem as the hawk. There is little urgency in an owl’s need to eat if all it has to feed is itself and it’s finished growing. Therefore, the only benefit a human can provide an owl is security. If you are not keeping the owl safe from scenarios that frighten it, you are not meeting your end of the bargain, and the owl views it as a betrayal because to be seen and to feel unsafe is torturous to these birds.

Owls find companionship to be disagreeable as well, and do not enjoy physical touch or constantly being around a human or other animals. They only spend a few months of the year with their mate and owlets, the exception being burrowing owls who are more tolerant of company, but do not particularly crave it either in many cases. They simply hold it with indifference rather than displeasure.

Because of the strictly solitary nature of owls, they may become disagreeable in turn if you don’t give them their space. An owl prefers to be alone in its enclosure for most of the day and night undisturbed, and the only parts of the owl that should be touched are the keel (to determine body condition) and the talons (to ensure anklets can be placed in a way that will minimize stress). The face of the adult owl should never be touched unless it’s to briefly help it get something off, like residue from food or dirt that would be more irritating if left caked on the bird. Any touch at all to the bird should only be done for clinical reasons.

All of this is what makes owls incredibly unethical to keep as pets. Invariably, videos of pet owls show the birds being relentlessly stroked like dogs, forced to interact with humans or other pets, and taken to noisy places like a living room with the TV on or a store. Some even go as far as dressing them up in costumes.

Owl behavior and cognition in terms of how they see their world are complex enough that I can’t fully cover it in a tumblr post, but if you take away nothing else understand this much: owls are not cats, they are not dolls, they are not pets. An owl is a wild animal misunderstood even by self-proclaimed experts and many of us in the field are only just recently actually seeing them. There are so many misconceptions about owls that lead to them being abused and traumatized by being treated by something they aren’t.

In many ways, an owl is very much a wise animal because they devote all their time to silently observing. What people mistake as the bird simply “zoning out” is actually the bird analyzing everything it’s hearing and seeing. They don’t need to look around to observe, their ears see even more than their very keen eyes. They make silent note of everything you do in their presence, and if you misstep and cross them, they will remember it.

Owls may not have a “complex” language humans can quantify, and they may not use tools, but they also don’t need to. These should not be the end all be all of how we measure intelligence in animals. In solitary animals, there is no push for them to develop a language, and in animals as well adapted as an owl, there is no push to learn to use tools. They have every tool they need attached to their bodies as is.

Their way of thinking is alien to humans, as we are diurnal animals which require socialization to survive, but this in no way means they are not intelligent. They are simply different. An owl is very smart at being an owl after all.

[bunny-xoxo]

Intern!Eren HC

warning(s): none

a/n: some Intern!Eren HC based off my CEO!Levi x secretary!reader post you can read here <- if you’d like :) I got one person requesting it in my inbox and that’s all I needed LOL :) I’d love to hear from you guys in my inbox! Hope you enjoy <3 I’m also gonna be posting more characters from this ~universe so feel free to send in thoughts or ideas !

FIRST OFF HES SO STUPID LIKE PLS

I’m sorry but hear me out:

He’s very intelligent, right. He was well composed in his interview to be an intern, his resume was wonderfully organized full of all kinds of references and experience, he can hold a corporate conversation like nobody’s business, and he’s definitely got this natural charm working for him

But this man can’t work a photo copier for the life of him 😭

He doesn’t know the difference between business casual & smart casual (tbh who tf does)

He is always joking with boss Levi at the WORST times

He’s AWFUL at finding things pls

Someone will tell him to go grab more printer paper from the cabinets in the break room and he’ll just go and stand in there like 🧍

“Cabinets, cabinets... okayyy what one.”

^he definitely talks to himself like that ALL the time but more on that later

But anyways he’ll be searching through all the cabinets and just,,, not see it and he’d start freaking out like oh fuck they’re gonna fire me cause my dumbass can’t find the fuckin printer paper

He’d just come back like

“Um, uh, Miss Parker I couldn’t find the printer paper🧍.”

She’s an older lady in the advertising department of the company that just finds him so endearing pls

so she goes and just opens the first cupboard he looked in and hands it to him like “here sweetie, make sure to open your eyes next time.”

She’s so sweet but poor baby is so red and embarrassed 😭

It’s even worse when she asks him to load it and he just - breaks it

he accidentally pulled too hard trying to open the paper compartment and ripped one of the plastic front pieces off and is just holding it in his hand like 😰

He jus tapes it on w scotch tape and bolts out of the room once it’s loaded and then blames it on Jean when Levi asks why the hell the printer in the front office is broken

“Yeah no I have no idea sir, I think it might’ve been Jean, I mean I saw him in here last buttt, yeah no I really don’t know sorry!”

Queue Eren speed walking to the bathroom so he can collect himself abdjdjajdjf

But on the note of breaking things it’s totally happened more than once

I STRONGLY HC this mf as being clumsy a lil like he just never fully got used to his height after he had his growth spurt

So he has a habit of tripping over himself or hitting his head on cabinets and such

This also means long arms accidentally knocking these over 😭

His first day he reached across his lil intern desk adjacent to Jeans to answer the phone and just completely knocked off his stapler and it kinda came apart

So once he was done with the call he was like no biggie I can fix this :)

And then he spent the next 20 minutes trying to figure out how the hell to put it back together

Levi happened upon him at his desk with google up on his computer, “how to put together stapler”, and he was fiddling with it in his lap and Levi was just 🤨

Eren was so embarrassed and went beet red

But as soon as Jean started chuckling Levi was like “well help him? I’d rather not have a broken stapler and besides, it’d give you two idiots something to do.”

So of course jean was like ok 🙄 but now him and eren have been arguing and BOTH been trying to fix it for another 10 minutes

Levi comes over to check on them and he’s so disappointed he’s just like “give me the fucking stapler” and puts the pieces back together and hands it to eren like 😐.

But yeah, Eren has a tendency to break things LOL

Ok back to mans talking to himself

He can be forgetful when it comes to tasks he needs to do so you’ll often find him walking around the office muttering things to himself like “phone, phone. Listen to the voicemail on the phone.”

And sometimes he’ll sing it to himself instead of speaking it cause it he finds it keeps him entertained 🥺🤲🏼

He also has a bad habit of just humming at his desk period

Jean absolutely hates it, especially when the songs Eren’s humming get stuck in Jeans head LMAO

Levi implied he was proud of Erens work ~once and he almost cried, he had to excuse himself and Miss Parker thought he was gonna throw up

One time Levi joked about long hair not being dress code and immediately had to take it back before Eren and Jean had a crisis at their desk

But even with his little quirks and shenanigans he takes his internship very seriously and is highly knowledgeable about the core responsibilities of the job, which is definitely a reason Levi accepted his application in the first place

Eren is so punctual it’s insane, he hasn’t missed a single day at his internship and has never been more than a minute late

And he’s so cute always asking Levi what he could do better at the end of his day or if there’s anything else he needs from him

At some point Levi had to ask him to only ask it once a week cause he has other things to worry about too 😭

But Levi did admire his determination to improve

Eren may be a little silly but he’ll be damned if he’s gonna lose this internship <3

————————

Eeeeek okok so this is officially a part of my CEO!levi universe LMAO any work that is based in this will be tagged appropriately! I’m also thinking of posting a pt.2 to this with reader 😏! Lemme know if you guys are interested! I’ll be having some more works come out with other aot boys in this universe too :)! Anyways yes I’d love any and all thoughts <3

requests are open

-🐇out

taglist: @plutowrites @armins-futon @peachysimp (if you’d like to be added to aot, hq, mha, or a mixture of those jus lemme know!)

[wing-ed-thing]

Deidara Relationship Headcanons

💕Impulsive, cocky idiot

💕I mean, he is the youngest member of the Akatsuki and was recruited at 14

💕Being surrounded by much older bad influences members, Deidara likes to act a lot older than he actually is

💕Superiority complex, he likes to feel smart and appreciated

💕A certain amount of give into this will certainly make Deidara happy but too much and it’ll go to his head

💕May talk down to you but it doesn’t exactly take much to shut him up

💕He might be extremely arrogant, but very likely one of the most sentimental of the Akatsuki.

💕Like most of the men in this organization, just give him a little decency and he’ll be complete putty in your hands

💕He hasn’t been hardened by war yet (at least not to the extreme, say Kakuzu, is) so telling him that you don’t like it when he says/does something it’s more likely to stick

💕He’s still a kid, a bit naive

💕Not to say he’s a baby who’ll be easy to walk all over

💕No, no he’s still a hardcore pyro and stubborn, he’s just a bit more open to concepts that other older Shinobi have given up on

💕Take an interest in his art, he’ll talk about it for hours

💕A sort of romantic, really. He’s got a lot of ambitions 

💕One of the least likely in the Akatsuki to violently lash out at you in anger. Rather, it would most likely be in competition. Deidara is very prideful.

💕Just appreciate him. Clearly no one in his life has. Call him out on his shit but don’t coddle him. Reign him back when needed.

💕Talk about art, he’ll let you play with some clay 

💕Many people underestimate his intelligence but he’s actually very book smart, you just have to get him talking for long enough

💕Never pay for fireworks again. Deidara loves nothing more than an opportunity to show off and oooo pretty

Sorry these are a bit haphazard. I’m having a tough time so I banged these out less than a half hour before the queue is gonna publish it. 

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed and otherwise supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

[realcube]

ARCADE

summary ★ she needs to get the action figure that's in the claw machine for her sister’s birthday, so saiki does her the favour of using his a telekinesis to win it...along with a few other favours.

trigger warning ★ gambling, god, swearing, fem!reader & reader has a younger sister

construction on the new arcade near pk academy had finally come to an end. the grand opening was today after school so of course, nendou suggested that they attend as a squad. usually, saiki tried to avoid getting roped into outings like this but for a change, he actually agreed without the need for any further prying. that's because the arcade was attached to a small cinema where they'd be premiering the latest action movie — based on the TV show adaptation of the game — 'Olfana's Story X-2'. as it turns out, a few months after saiki gave the game a shot, it became a craze and a massive hit among speed-runners. so from it's new-found popularity, they developed a TV show series which inevitably flopped so now they have created a movie. only the most elite people among the gaming community were allow to see it before the official release date and they all said it was incredible; but there was not a doubt in saiki's mind that they were being paid to sing it's praise. a crappy game turned into a crappy show, now adapted into a movie was sure to be crappy. so you may be wondering why he even wanted to view the movie if he was set on it being awful. Well, there are two simple answers; curiosity and the mystery. since it was so exclusive, he had yet to overhear spoilers through his telekinesis and he now had a germanium ring in his possession so he could watch the movie in peace. also, having played the game but not seen the show, he was curious to see how bad the movie is going to be and perhaps he'd be able to get a good laugh out of it. but he made the mistake of mentioning his plan to see the movie which screened a few hours after the opening of the arcade, as now kuboyasu, nendou and kaidou were all going to see the movie along with him. In theory, it shouldn't be a problem since he'll have his germanium ring on but in practise, the world seems to be against saiki so one of his friends will probably end up stealing his popcorn or chatting throughout the entire movie. he'll just have to wait and see. kaidou and nendou did not even stop to take breaths as they raced on about how excited they were while they were all walking to the arcade. "i'm sure the movie is going to be sick!" kaidou exclaimed, followed by rapid head nods from nendou as he replied, "yup! And i can't wait to see what sort of games they have!" saiki was a bit excited himself but he didn't care to show it like the others did. but when he saw the vaporwave building covered with bright neon lights come into view, his lips curled into a small smile. though it was short-lived as he noticed the massive queue to get in; it appeared as though they weren't the only ones who had the idea to visit the arcade after school as he noticed many familiar faces standing in line, amongst crowds of others. all of their cheery auras dissipated for a few moments until kuboyasu perked up, approaching the doors to the arcade with a smug smirk, cutting in front of everyone in the line and gesturing for the boys to follow him, "don't worry about the queue, guys. follow me." nendou followed without any further questions but saiki and kaidou were a bit apprehensive. all three of them watched as kuboyasu stood shoulder-to-shoulder with the guard by one of the doors, muttering something in the man's ear, causing him to sweatdrop and hesitantly open the door with a shaky smile; allowing all four of them inside. "woah, that was awesome, aren!" kaidou yelled, not only out of awe but so he could be heard over all the cheering, laughing and game noises from inside the arcade. "yeah, that was so cool! but what did you say to that guy? he looked freaked out!" nendou inquired, surprising saiki with his actually intelligent observation. kuboyasu's hand found it's way behind his neck, rubbing it awkwardly as he chuckled, "oh, nothing! it's not important-- hey! how about you guys start playing your games and i'll go get the tickets we reserved, yeah?" "yeah!" kaidou and nendou cheered in unison, high-fiving the purple-haired boy before the all ran off in different directions, leaving saiki standing alone at the entrance. he fidgeted with his germanium ring, contemplating taking it off as he stared at kuboyasu; he really wanted to know what the teen boy could've said that'd incite such fear into a grown man, but he decided against it — merrily making his way towards the claw machines, leaving kuboyasu's secrets alone. ★★★★★★★★★★ "shit." he cursed under his breath as he watched the cyborg cider man plushie that he's been trying to win — for yuuta — for half an hour straight slip out of his grasp once again. 'these things are rigged. and what's the point in having psychic superpowers if i can't use them.' he thought to himself but had to quickly shake off the idea, as there was no way he could risk using his powers in such a crowded place, especially for a plush that wasn't even for himself but rather for an annoying kid. he sighed, slipping another coin into the slot and about to find the right state of mind until he heard a loud "fuck!"  from in front of him. his head jerked up, scanning the area for the source of the noise until his eyes landed on you. the claw machines were lined up, back-to-back, and playing on the machine diagonal from him was a girl with enchanting (e/c) eyes which contrasted greatly with her disheartened expression as she stared at the box. the only emotion she wore was sadness as she stared at the machine, so out of curiosity, saiki slipped off his ring in order to read her thoughts; feeling no guilt in listening to the affairs of a complete stranger. 'c'mon, stupid claw machine, i need this!' your silky yet whiny voice rung through his mind, 'what's she gonna think about me tomorrow when i tell her that i couldn't get her the gift she's wanted? she's gonna hate me- even more than she already does. and now i've spent all my money on this silly game so i can't even try get her a crappy gift with the little money i had. Wow, (y/n), you're the worst big sister in existence.' saiki cocked his head to the side, peering through the glass of the machines to see the contents of the claw machine you were standing in front of and when he saw the limited edition, silver cyborg cider man action figure sitting on a pedestal — almost as if it was taunting the poor girl — he finally connected the dots. your hand dug through your pockets until you found the smooth metal surface of your final coin, 'just once more try. if i win her this action figure, maybe she'll finally respect me as her big sister! and this toy will surely make her more happy than any gift mom could've possibly thought of. i'll make her sixth birthday one to remember!' the dejected look on your face slow lifted into a determined one, but it wasn't very convincing as saiki — and anyone else — could see the worry and shame in your eyes as you dropped your last coin into the slot of the machine, giving you one more chance to redeem yourself and claim the title of 'best big sister in the world'. saiki watched you maneuver the claw of the machine with bated breath, admiring how your pretty nose crinkled and your tongue poked out from the corners of your perfectly glossed lips in concentration — 'ew, stop being a simp, kusuo.' he mentally rebuked himself before engaging with your scene one again. your fist slammed down against the big red button, followed by the claw opening and lowering over the box of the cyborg cider man action figure, slowly closing it's jaws around the box and grasping it perfectly, resulting in a slight gasp to escape your throat as your lips pulled into a grin. the claw kept it's grip in the toy as it lifted up, slowly making it's way over the hole where it would drop the action figure, straight into your possession.  that is, if the grip didn't falter hence allowing the toy to fall down, off it's pedestal and onto the bottom of the compartment to join the rest of the more average action figures. "fuck!" you screamed in an almost identical way to which you did earlier, expect this one held more pain. 'this can't be happening; is this the third year in a row that i'm going to show up to my little sister's birthday party empty-handed?' you thought, your bottom lips quivering so you quickly bit down on it, staring at the damned toy before turning on your heels, shuffling away from the game with your head hung low, the thoughts which cried in your head about how much you budgeted and how hard you worked made saiki's heart sink. 'maybe i could take out a mortga--' your thoughts were abruptly cut off when you heard the noise of something falling behind you. whipping your head around to see what happened, you exhaled a sigh of relief upon seeing nothing out of the ordinary. however, you caught a glimpse of inside the machine which you had been cursing at and realised that the toy wasn't with the packaging peanuts where you left it, as if it magically disappeared in the few seconds you had averted your gaze. creeping up to it, your gaze darted around in search of anyone who might've won it in less than 5 seconds but that was unlikely. now that you were closer, you peered through the glass once more to confirm that the toy was in fact missing and you were right. recalling the noise of falling you heard just before you turned around, you dropped to your knees and lifted the flap to the compartment which held the good that people would win from the machine. you almost screamed with delight and shock when you laid eyes on the limited edition, cyborg cider man action figure that was tucked snugly inside. yanking it out, you pressed it to your chest and the tears you were choking back finally came running down your cheeks, but now they were from joy. "thank you, god." you whispered to yourself, making saiki chuckle from his spot at the claw machine which he hadn't moved from. he wasn't god — nor was he friends with god — but he didn't mind not being able to take the credit for his kind actions of using his psychokinesis to drop the box into the hole for you. honestly, he found that seeing you happy, sitting on the floor with brightest beam gracing your features along with your now cheerful thoughts in his head, was enough of a reward for him anyway. also, he appreciated how you didn't question how the box ended up in the hole and instead you just deemed it a miracle as you were too overjoyed to use logic; that sort of thinking saved saiki a lot of trouble. 'i should probably go home and wrap this.' your internal monologue had now calmed down slightly as you were now able to produce a thought that wasn't just a squeal of delight, 'hm, maybe once i am done i could come back and see the new movie that's premiering-- but i've not got much money left so i guess i shouldn't get ahead of myself.' you hummed, picking up the box along with yourself, dusting yourself off before heading towards the exit. saiki must've been staring for a tad too long though as you caught his gaze while brushing off your clothes. he cringed, instinctively darting his eyes away so you didn't think he was an ogling creep but the fact he appeared defensive probably didn't help. so he fully expected you to frown or cast him a dirty look, judging him for his actions but to his surprise, you simply chuckled. waving at the pink-haired boy before strolling off with the box under your arm. 'he seems cool. where i can get clips like those?' why were you thoughts making him blush like an idiot? time to put the germanium ring back on. ★★★★★★★★★★ as it turns out, nendou is surprisingly good at poker. he figured this out after he stumbled across the casino section of the arcade, and since he looks way older than seventeen, nobody questions it when he took a seat at one of the slot machines, under the impression that it was a fancy, old-timey arcade game. he was then offered a round of poker with some old dude with way too many gold teeth and nendou ended up taking the poor, stubborn guy's entire fortune. god-knows how many games with how-many people later, nendou was sitting on stacks of cash at a round table with a tired dealer, and two grown men — one crying into the shoulder of his arm-candy and the other weeping into the sleeve of his suit — while the three boys who had came to give him his ticket stood by, all wearing matching confused expressions. "uh, nendou." kuboyasu tapped his friend on the shoulder, waving the ticket in front of his face, "the movie is gonna start soon, we should start heading over there right now so we can buy snacks and get good seats." nendou raised an eyebrow, puzzled until he recalled that he was supposed to watch a movie today, "oh, that sounds cool and all but i'm having a lot of fun right here." he smiled, motioning to the large casino area. kuboyasu chuckled awkwardly, backing away from nendou slightly as he turned on his heels, ushering the two other boys away, "alright, well, have fun, nendou! don't stay out too late!" nendou sung an okay in response, sliding a kaidou some cash for the extortionate theatre snacks before he was rushed away by kuboyasu, the purple-haried boy not wanting to spend anymore time in the casino than needed. "if nendou isn't joining us for the movie then we have a spare ticket. here, saiki, you should have it!" "why me?" "uh, because you said you saw reita earlier. so if you see him again maybe you could offer him the spare ticket." 'absolutely not.' was vocalised as "sure." by saiki as he took the ticket from kuboyasu's outstretched hand, fiddling with it before stuffing it into his pocket along with his own ticket. "what i said to nendou was kinda an exaggeration" aren mused, glancing at his watch before looking up at his two pals, "we still have some time left before the movie starts. i'm gonna go handle some business — you two have fun, and try find reita!" kuboyasu said before pivoting on his heels in the direction of the staff only closet. the only thing saiki could think to do during this free-time was escape kaidou's pestering to play dance dance revolution — since saiki didn't want to dance, dance or revolute, he darted outside as soon as kuboyasu left, leaving kaidou alone and confused in the middle of the arcade. 'finally, fresh air.' saiki inhaled, filling his lungs with the cool air rather than the stuffy, arcade oxygen. scanning the surrounding area, his eyes caught a glimpse of a figure standing by the ATM, which he immediately recognised to be that of the girl he had helped earlier. so naturally, he flicked of his ring to figure out the reasoning behind the awkward look on her face. 'do i really want to withdraw money to see some stupid movie? i mean, i could leave that money to accumulate and buy something nicer later.' without thinking, saiki hummed in agreement with your thoughts as he had been in your position many times before. 'but then again, i should treat myself! when was the last time i saw a movie that wasn't pirated? hmm..' your indecisive thoughts matched perfectly with your conflicted expression as you stared through furrowed brows at the screen of the ATM. a soft breeze passed, followed by something light smacking against you face. you winced slightly, your hand snapping your cheek and grabbing at whatever it was; just by the texture, you could tell it was paper. holding it in front of you, upon further inspection you realised that the mysterious sheet that had flew into your possession was in fact a ticket to tonight's showing of 'Olfana's Story X-2'  row G, seat 9. you double, triple checked it out of fear that this may be a cruel prank but no, this was completely real! you cheered, bouncing up and down and away from the ATM since you no longer needed it's services as god had blew the desired item straight into your hands — or your face, rather. either way though, you were over the moon, clutching the ticket to your chest and basking in your second miracle of the day. unbeknownst to you, saiki's smile was almost as wide as your own. you thanked god for your relief and saiki had no problem with that; seeing your little happy dance and squeals with your free ticket was enough for him. but actually, perhaps he might benefit himself after all, since the ticket he had given you previous belonged to nendou. meaning that saiki was seated at row G, seat 10; right beside you. ★★★★★★★★★★ saiki forgot to send a few notes flying your way in the wind, so you walked into the theatre and took your seat, completely snackless since you couldn't afford the exorbitant prices that they sold food for at the cinema. but perhaps that wasn't all bad as it revealed the possibility for saiki to offer you some of his popcorn as a conversation-starter, as he's usually not too good at socialising with new people — forget starting a conversation. however, he didn't need to work up any sort of courage to talk to you as the first thing you did when you plopped down in your seat beside him was turn to him and chirp, "oh, you're the guy i saw at the claw machines earlier! i love your clip thingies." your buoyant-adrenaline allowing your to be more bold than usual. the movie had yet to start, low murmurs of chatter coming from across the theatre as the trailers played in the background, "yes. and thanks." 'good grief, curse myself for not being more talkative. she probably thinks i'm dull now. perhaps i should channel my inner nendou..if i have one.' instead of ending the conversation right there like he assumed you would, you continued talking and saiki was..glad? why did he want to interact with you so much? he spends most of his days trying to avoid interacting with people; why were you any different? "no problem- also, did you get what you were playing for?" you inquired, tapping your lip in genuine curiosity. his ring remained on his finger, despite the fact he wanted to know what you thought about him, he didn't want to invade your privacy any more than he already has. "no. did you?" "yeah, i did, actually!" you chirped, not noticing the smirk creeping onto saiki's lips as you were too engulfed in your memories, "i thought those games were rigged but maybe they're not 'cause i managed to win this super special action figure that my sister has been on the top of my sister's wishlist for like- forever! and her birthday is tomorrow so i'll be a--" you cut yourself off, crinkling your nose in embarrassment, "sorry, i'm over-sharing, aren't i?" your enthusiasm made his heart flutter in a way he wasn't used to, if you didn't know any better, he would have thought he was having a medical emergency. his eyes widened slightly as you halted in your speech, "no, you're fine." he said, the uncharacteristic softness in his voice catching the attention of his two pals sitting on the other side of him. you shook off his comment, "i mean, i'm telling you my life story and i don't even know your name." you said, laughing sheepishly at the reality of the reality of the situation. 

“saiki kusuo.” he blurted out without a second thought.

you blinked a few times, shocked that he’d give his details away so easily as you somewhat expected him to be more of a reserved type of guy but evidently, you were wrong. “uh, i’m (l/n) (y/n).” you choked, biting down on your bottom lip slightly before continuing you story as he seemed to wait expectantly, “as i was saying, today’s just been the best day ever! everything has been going so well, i’m a bit scared as to what is going to happen when it hits midnight.” 

saiki nodded along, popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth before remembering his plan, “oh- would you like some?” he asked, offering you some popcorn from his bucket. unfortunately, the plan was a last-minute thing so he had only bought a small, but he still wasn’t opposed to sharing. 

you shook your head, trying to grin foolishly wide at his kind offer, “no thank you.” 

saiki nodded, about to open his mouth to reply until the blaring music from the beginning of the movie started, putting a swift end to your conversation — despite the fact saiki would much rather talk to you than watch the crappy movie — out of theatre etiquette. 

★★★★★★★★★★

it was worse than you or saiki could’ve ever imagined.

it was painfully trying not to burst out laughing right in middle of it or lean over and giggle in each other’s ear at the silly dialog but out of respect for the other people in the cinema, you both stayed silent and just cast each other occasional knowing glances whenever something cringey happened on screen. 

you both let out audible sighs of relief with the credits began to roll, accompanied by a slow indie song. “that was..something.” you mumbled, grabbing your purse and jumping to your feet, wanting to exit the building as soon as possible and hopefully leave your memories of the movie behind you. 

“definitely.” he snickered, absently flicking the side of his empty popcorn bucket, “i stopped paying attention once i finished my popcorn.” it felt weird to vocalise — or rather, telepathically communicate — the comments he’d usually keep to himself; why did he feel so comfortable speaking to someone he only just met?

he began gathering his things, stuffing all of his rubbish in the bucket so he could dispose of it all at once. his mind was fixated on crappiness of the movie and how a five-year-old could’ve shot a much better film, until you grabbed his attention by calling out his name, followed by a question which made him blood run cold.

“before i go, it gotta ask’ how’d you do it? or more importantly, why’d you do it?”

he blinked several times before putting on his best bewildered expression, with the idea that maybe if he played dumb, he could gaslight you into thinking that it never happened or that he had nothing to do with it. “what?”

“oh, don’t give me that!” you scoffed, narrowing your eyes at the boy, “i’m not stupid. every time something good happened to me, you were nearby. i’ve connected the dots so fess up. why did you do all those nice things for me? was it out of pity or are you that nice to everyone?”

“i’m that nice to everyone.”

“i don’t believe you.” you snapped, fixing your tone when you remembered that even though he was lying to you, he still helped you get the present for you sister and gave you his spare ticket. “i don’t care if you’re not gonna give me a straight answer, but at least let me make it up to you.”

he huffed, an unimpressed look covering his features before you even proposed your idea. there was really nothing he could possibly need from you. what were you going to give him that he wasn’t capable of obtaining on his own? so he frowned, ready to decline your offer. 

“i saw that you bought one of those jelly pots from the snack stand and i actually work at a little café in the town, so i might be able to get you few things for free or discounted?”

“yes.” wait, that wasn’t refusal. 

“great!” you chirped, glad that you wouldn’t have to pry further, “does later this week sounds good? we could meet up here then i can walk you to the café- or i could give you my number and we can arrange a date later?” 

“sure.” saiki said without thinking once again.

but it wasn’t as though he regretted it when you slipped the piece of paper you had scribbled your number onto, into the front pocket of his shirt, tapping it with a smile. “alright! i’ll see you later then- unless you want to walk home with me?” you fidgeted with your fingers slightly, instantly regretting what you just came out with. not because you didn’t want to walk with him, but due to the fact you highly doubted he was going so say accept so you mentally prepared for the impact of his harsh rejection.

“sure.”

★★★★★★★★★★

BONUS 

saiki ended up walking home with some girl he met at the theatre so that left kuboyasu and kaidou to fetch nendou once the film finished. they both searched the casino area for almost half an hour but neither of them had any luck finding nendou. that was, until kuboyasu had to take a step outside to escape the casino as he noticed an old friend of his playing on the slot machines, and he found nendou crouched by the garbage cans, on his phone. 

“nendou! we’ve been looking all over for you- why are you out here by the trash? and what happened to all your money?!”

nendou chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck with his spare hand, “fun story actually. i was doing so well and i was on my way to becoming a millionaire until these schoolgirls came marching in and absolutely slaughtered me! it was so embarrassing and the only way i could escape them was by running away so i hid back here.”

kuboyasu’s aura just screamed ‘disappointed but not surprised’, “so you’re telling me that you lost millions to highschool girls?”

“they might’ve been middle-schoolers, i’m not too sure. i didn’t get a very good look at ‘em but they were all wearing creepy red uniforms.”

all kuboyasu could do was massage his temples to ease his headache at the stupidity of his friends, “so you lost all your money to school girls in creepy red uniforms?” he repeated aloud, just to make sure he was hearing things correctly.

“yes. but not all my money.” he said, pulling out his wallet and grandly opening it to reveal a few notes and a button, “i’ve still got enough to spend on ramen with my bros!”

[ilovesmosh55]

copy pasting my Min autism headcanon proof doc from when I first watched book 4 and went insane. Because I was right

Need for familiarity/routine/plans:

The Twin Tapes: shown to have a very set daily routine revolving around work and college applications before Ryan comes back. Gets angry when Ryan disrupts it and tries to get him to run away to New York.

The Iceberg Car: upset by the fact that he cannot remove the boots given to him by the train, comments that he wants his sneakers back.

The Party Car: after being overwhelmed, Min chooses to hide and calm down in the bathroom rather than the much cleaner green room. When asked why by Ryan, he explains that it reminds him of home. Additionally, he is so eager to change into his own clothes that he does so almost immediately after getting them back (albeit he does so offscreen). He was clearly uncomfortable changing near a crowd and remarks afterwards “there was a bathroom to get changed in this whole time?!”

The Pig Baby Car: Min gets frustrated with Ryan multiple times for rushing and not planning out what he does before he does it. He is shown multiple times throughout the series to dislike spontaneity in similar ways.

Need to correct others:

The Twin Tapes: interrupts to correct Ryan about what booth they used to sit in in middle school (notable also is his lack of thought about how that could impact Ryan emotionally)

The Pig Baby Car: says “I told you” to Ryan after being proven right about Pig Baby hating the cookbook provided.

The Art Gallery Car: Min corrects Ryan about how Lion Tamer actually sounds. Also corrects him about the maple trees in one painting.

Lack of emotional intelligence:

The Pig Baby Car: after coming to the conclusion that the number is Ryan’s he says “you actually took your time with something for once!” (Which you know. Sounds pretty insulting.) when Ryan apologizes for getting them on the train, instead of comforting him he says “I forgive you” and “you can’t help it if you have a lot to learn”.

The Astro Queue Car: while a lot of his condescension to Ryan here does seem intentional (he even acknowledges that Ryan might think he’s trying to be mean) a lot of it comes from a place of thinking he’s being helpful, as well as it resulting from his black and white view of whose number they have. When he is intentionally mean and angry, it’s because he sees what Ryan does as intentional defiance of him and his rules. Once he’s proven wrong, he tries (but fails) to apologize and is clearly shaken.

The Castle Car: tries to console Kez by saying “you’re basically good, you just need to get better at it!” Great fucking commentary pal!

Black and white thinking (especially regarding rules and instructions):

The Pig Baby Car: Min has a black and white view on numbers, thinking that he and Ryan’s must only belong to/be affected by one of them. When he comes to the (incorrect) conclusion that the number is Ryan’s he seems relieved and resigns himself to “helping” Ryan get it down. Additionally, Min tries strictly to follow what he believes the “rules” of the car to be, insisting they cook and getting mad at Ryan for trying to break the rules (talk his way out of the car instead of cooking).

The Old West Car: gets angry at Ryan for breaking the “rules” and speaking out of turn in court.

The Astro Queue Car: Min becomes increasingly frustrated when Ryan doesn’t follow what he believes are the car’s “rules” (waiting in the line). He cannot grasp any other way to get into the party being possible, as they would break the “rules”. He literally fucking says “if you just do everything you’re supposed to do you’ll eventually end up where you need to be”.

Difficulty communicating emotions:

The Astro Queue Car: struggles to express emotions besides anger, and can’t bring himself to apologize to Ryan after realizing what he’s done.

The Mega Maze Car: legit takes him like 8 episodes to finally vocalize why he’s been upset with Ryan (because he feels like he can’t trust him).

Train To Nowhere: does not immediately comfort Ryan when he calls himself garbage (also a moment of lacking emotional intelligence). He has to leave and gather his thoughts before having a serious conversation with Ryan, and Ryan has to be the one who approaches him first.

Misc.:

Often seen shoving his hands in his pockets while walking (autism can cause irregular gait/arm positioning while walking).

High levels of stress/anxiety are more common for autistic people. And he is sooo anxious

Seems to have a special interest in music, has known how to play his mini synth since childhood and infodumps about his favorite album multiple times in the show.

A lot of his anger especially at the beginning of the season seems to stem from his routine/plan for life being interrupted.

Seldom reciprocates/initiates physical contact.

I’m pretty sure I remember him pacing while upset too but my head feels like it’s gonna split in half so I’ll rewatch and look for that later.

[diasporatheblog]

I started a new game from the beginning (no chapter hopping). I had intelligence 5 and strength 4 as my highest skills, but when choosing the 'say nothing focus on using strength' choice in the third/final choice I lose. I tried the other two choices just to check and still lost (i kinda figured since my charm was 3 and i had low aggression). It kinda felt like I was being punished by the game for not building my character 'correctly' because i got the first two right but no matter what, even though i chose the third correctly according to what skills were highest, it still failed me. so I'm not sure if it's a bug or what, but basically the duel is impossible to win if MC's intelligence is their highest skill and strengtg is second highest.

Ah, I see. As currently written, that fight depends at least as much on traits of personality as actual combat stats, as you note. We've gotten a lot of mixed feedback on it; it's something we decided to try in a smaller, optional fight to see how it went.

Given the very ambivalent reception to it, we'll probably be adjusting it in the edit phase, so it has more straightforward, universally-obtainable win conditions. Maybe those will just be normal stat checks like the other combats, or maybe it'll not involve stats at all and just be strategy choices, I'm not sure yet.

In either case, I'm sorry it feels punishing to play! It should hopefully not be like that in the final version, but our priority has been writing forward rather than doing heavy edits like that so far, so rest assured it's definitely on our queue of things to patch up before we submit.

[nikibogwater]

What did you think of Nari's characterization in ROTT?

Disliked it, as with most of the other things in the movie.

The short version of it is this: In Wizards, Nari's primary character traits were empathy and compassion for others. In Rise of the Titans, her primary character traits seem to be just a general lack of awareness for what's happening around her, and a tendency to make light of very serious situations.

Now before I get into the long-form answer, I will preface by saying that the writers of RotT were at a severe disadvantage when writing for characters who were introduced in Wizards because Wizards was still in production at the time. So I understand why Nari ended up feeling like a completely different character in the movie, and I am not shaming anyone for it. But the fact of the matter is that I found her characterization in Wizards to be much more appealing, and if that characterization had carried over to Rise of the Titans, I think I would've had slightly warmer feelings towards the movie. But let's get down to brass tacks now, because I've actually been dying to talk about this. This is gonna be a loooooong boi, so I've put everything under the cut to avoid clogging people's queues (I'm just really passionate about this bean goddess, okay? 😅)

When Nari is introduced to us in Wizards, she is quietly watching the arrival of our heroes at the castle. She doesn't make herself known to them, but it is clear she is very interested in what's happening. She does not make any other appearance until the Arcane Order launches their assault on Camelot.

Nari's first spoken words are, "Merlin! This is all my fault!" and as one would expect after hearing this, she is very obviously distressed and feeling guilty for putting everyone in danger. Merlin tells her they need to escape to the past, and that he needs her help in order to do it. Nari's response is to begin charging her magic as she says "I will do what I can."

After our main characters are thrown back in time, we're introduced to Nari as she was in the past. Although she is allied with the Arcane Order in their war against humanity, it's clear that she displays the least amount of malice out of the three. In fact, it's revealed that Nari has always been rather fond of humans, and has even reached out to them in friendship a number of times. After resurrecting Morgana, Nari is the one who does most of the explaining and introductions, showing a bit of a playful/mischievous side as she pokes fun at Bellroc and Skrael. ("I told you she would, Skrael! So old, and they still haven't learned manners.")

During the Battle of Killahead, we see Nari watching the war from a distance, and it's clear from the expression on her face that she is not liking any of this. Though she does briefly aid her siblings when they join in the battle, she reveals afterwards that she can sense the pain and suffering they have inflicted on others--and she doesn't believe the Order's ambitions are worth that. She abandons the Order, presumably spending the next 900 years in hiding, before seeking Merlin's protection.

Once our heroes have returned to the present, Nari becomes a bit more involved in the plot. She expresses genuine sorrow over the destruction of Arcadia Oaks High ("Your beautiful school-home was crushed!") and is clearly distressed by Jim's agony as the shard in his chest begins to work its dark magic. ("Poor soul! Your corruption...I feel it worsening.") After Jim is taken by the Order, we can see her comforting Toby in the background. She continues to show great concern and empathy for the people around her, and is still eager to help wherever she can, though her magic doesn't seem to be combat-oriented. She is also shown to be somewhat timid, hiding behind Merlin or Claire during confrontations with the Order--she is very clearly terrified of her old allies, and seems to want to avoid direct contact with them. When Douxie is struck down by the Order and is falling to his death, it is Nari who runs to try to save him before anyone else--apparently, if someone is in need, Nari's first instinct is to rush to their aid.

So, from all of that, we can gather that Nari, as she was characterized in Wizards, is intelligent, curious, cautious, gentle, empathetic, and very aware of what's going on around her. She is also a little playful and wild, but never to the point of disregarding what's happening or how others are feeling.

In Rise of the Titans, Nari remains consistent with this characterization for all of...seven minutes.

Initially, Nari is still very much herself in this scene (though I wish we could've been told what exactly made her want to stop running and face the Order head-on. Again, in Wizards, it was abundantly clear that that was the one thing she did NOT want to do). When Douxie expresses his anxiety about the situation, she takes him by the hand, offers him a reassuring smile, and says, gently but firmly, "No. No more running, Douxie." Excellent interaction. 10/10. Five stars. That's also the only time in the movie where Nari displays any level of awareness regarding Douxie's (or anyone's) feelings/wellbeing.

The body-swap scene is when Nari's character just completely swings in the opposite direction, and she becomes near-unrecognizable as being the same character from Wizards. Douxie, being our favorite Self-Sacrificing Idiot, swaps bodies with her at the last possible second, causing the Order to take him instead. Nari, now stuck inside Douxie's body, seemingly doesn't think much of this development at all. In fact, her first response is to giggle playfully. UM, NARI. NARI, SWEETIE, YOUR BIG BROTHER IS IN THE CLUTCHES THE MOST EVIL BEINGS KNOWN TO MANKIND. LIKE, THEY LITERALLY KILLED HIM THE LAST TIME HE RESCUED YOU FROM THEM, WHY ARE YOU NOT MORE WORRIED ABOUT THIS?! Up until this point, Nari has never been shown to underestimate the Arcane Order--she seems all too aware of the kind of violence and destruction they are capable of, which explains why she was so terrified of them in Wizards. But in Rise of the Titans she seems to just....not really care anymore? The entire time she is in Douxie's body, she doesn't express the slightest amount of concern for him, or for anyone around her. She just keeps doing...cutesy forest gremlin things, like singing to her flower, batting at a light fixture, and antagonizing Archie (she's definitely not the only character who was severely lacking in empathy in this movie, but this is an essay about Nari, so I'm not going to bother touching on everyone else). This is a direct contradiction to her characterization in Wizards, where she was shown to care deeply for the people around her, and displayed genuine distress whenever they were in danger or suffering.

Nari also persists in being pointlessly cryptic for the entirety of the movie because....reasons. Before the Order breaks Douxie's body-swap spell, she tells Jim, "Trollhunter make ninth configuration--the Kronosphere will make right." Which, of course, doesn't help him in the slightest. And when they finally succeed in rescuing Nari, she doesn't elaborate or explain this at all. She just says it again. Listen, I can get behind Nari being Insanely Ancient, and maybe a little out of touch with modern trends, but I'm fairly certain that Wizards Nari at least knew how to communicate. She never showed any inclination towards being cryptic or mysterious on purpose, at least. We're never given any explanation for Nari's sudden lack of clarity, so I guess it was just there for plot reasons. Which makes it that much more infuriating.

Also I don't know why, but the little "Hehe!" Nari does when Douxie pulls her into a hug kind of grinds my gears, because Nari, love, this is a really serious moment, you were just snapped out of mind control and your siblings are currently rampaging across globe in giant magical mechs, why are you giggling like a four-year-old and not, idk, SOBBING IN A MIXTURE OF RELIEF AND HORROR BECAUSE YOU WERE ALMOST PART OF WHAT DESTROYS THE EARTH?! AS THAT WOULD BE A MORE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO WHAT JUST HAPPENED????!!!!! But that's just a stupid little nitpick.

Now this is not me saying that Nari's characterization in the movie is objectively bad. Actually, it's kind of fitting for the Tales of Arcadia brand of humor--Super ancient demigoddess who houses the power to completely destroy the earth is also kind of a clueless ditz and needs to be babysat like a toddler. If she had not been introduced in Wizards, I would've been fine with this. But, much like the rest of the movie, Nari's vastly different characterization felt a tiny bit like a betrayal, and it consistently bothered me in every single one of her scenes. It also kept me from feeling the full impact of her death--seriously, I didn't cry at all when she was killed. Which....yeah, I'm just as surprised as you are.

So anyways, if you've made it this far, thank you so much for the ask, Non! Normally I have a bit more self control than to just....essay-dump like this, but honestly I've been thinking about this for way too long, and I had to get it out of my system. 🥴 And to anyone who really liked Nari's characterization in RotT--that's totally valid! Again, I don't think it was a bad characterization. It was just very inconsistent with her character as she was introduced to us in Wizards. And I just happen to prefer Wizards Nari over RotT Nari. 🌿✨

[just-come-baek]

get in, loser 1

Pairing: Taeyong x female!reader

Themes: smut | mafiaboss!taeyong | carthief!reader

Word count: 6.2k

Summary: How to get noticed by the most dangerous man in the country? I guess stealing his sport car and dying it hot pink must catch his attention.

Warnings: car theft | speeding | alcohol consumption | jaehyun being taeyong’s henchman | hardcore brainstorming | taeyong being touchy | more in next chapters

A/N This series will be around 5 chapters long. New updates shall be posted once every two weeks I hope. Also, @starlightbebes challenged me into posting chapter 1 on Taeyong’s birthday, so I won. ^^ Pay up.

***

Considering it was Saturday night, the city seemed oddly serene. Any other night, I’d witness some wild shit, yet tonight, it was quite peaceful. No prostitutes were arguing with no-cooperative customers, no inexperienced adolescents throwing up in the public trash cans, no aggressive football spectators fighting with their rivals.

Despite the calm aura, the city was vibrant; colorful neon signs were blinking, inviting people into different liquor establishments, cars honking on drunken pedestrians jaywalking across the streets, a few undiscovered musicians playing on the main square with plenty of tourists recording them.

Each establishment promised an unforgettable night, and for some people, it would be a real dilemma to pick one among such a rich palette of entertainment. I, on the other hand, had a pretty well-defined plan of stealing a fancy car – a precious possession of one, infamous crime lord in the country.

It wouldn’t be my first car theft, yet it surely was going to be the most meaningful one. Everyone in town knew that Lee Taeyong was up to no good. When it came to his personal taste, though, it was impeccable. The most expensive, the most extravagant, the fastest cars belonged to him, so stealing one of his astounding vehicles would be the cherry on top of my villainous career.

Rumor had it, tonight he’s celebrating in his VIP club – the Cherry Bomb; if you ask me, its name is a little bit tacky, but who I am to judge? The crowd of people trying to get inside was enormous, so despite its name, the local must’ve been quite profitable.

Being the most dangerous crime lord in the country must be a pretty time-consuming profession – I wouldn’t expect him to get to the club before midnight. Regardless of what must’ve been on his to-do list tonight, his schedule was bound to be packed.

It was almost 1 o’clock when matte black carbon-fibred McLaren P1 LM with “DRAGON” written on its registration plate pulled over in front of the club; in an instant, people in the queue grew silent, mesmerized by the handsome man who nonchalantly got out of the car, tossing the keys to the valet boy.

Lee Taeyong was just as good-looking as he was deadly – with his styled-up tousled vibrant-red hair, ripped black jeans, and a top-brand leather jacket, he made people turn their heads despite their gender and sexual orientation. In all honesty, I did my research, I had dozens of pictures of him, and I knew what to expect. The pictures didn’t do him justice, though. His natural beauty was enchanting, but when topped with his charisma and cocky confidence, it was a lethal mixture.

When Taeyong strolled inside his establishment, I, just like the other people who were in rapture, could finally get my shit together. It was remarkably difficult to remain in the right state of mind when he was within your eyesight, and tonight, it was going to be my most significant theft, so I couldn’t get distracted.

“You can do this,” I encouraged myself before running across the street, ready to execute the first stage of my plan.

I didn’t dare to doubt my skills for even a second. Tonight I would succeed, and Taeyong would have to call an Uber to get back to his grand mansion.

***

It’s been three days since my ingenious heist, and I was getting impatient. I wanted Taeyong to find me and talk to me, yet I was waiting and waiting, and he didn’t seem interested in getting his car back. It was actually disappointing. I couldn’t contain my curiosity; I just needed to see his reaction after I had his car tuned. I had made sure to be caught on their CCTV, so he would quickly track my traces, but it only proved me he was working with rookies.

Checking the time on my wristwatch, I walked into the run-down car repair shop, wanting to sneak one last peek at my masterpiece before I’d put a cover over it so Taeyong would gasp upon the big reveal. The new car paint looked amazing – Doyoung, my friend and a mechanic, did a great job dying it hot pink. Too bad, he was too scared to wait for Taeyong with me. I couldn’t blame him, though. Taeyong was known for his short temper, and it was understandable that Doyoung didn’t want to stick around to witness Taeyong’s wrath.

“What is taking him so long?” I asked myself as I plopped down in a ripped leather armchair, cracking a cold one. “How long does it take them to find the guys who don’t want to be found?” I wondered, pulling my phone, scrolling through the new content on my social media.

It was taking them forever, but when the sun was slowly setting behind the horizon, I could hear a vehicle park in front of the car repair shop. Judging by the engine’s roars, the car was expensive.

It must’ve been Taeyong himself.

“Finally,” I hollered as I got on my feet, throwing my slowly dying phone on the armchair. If the crime lord showed up, he needed to be welcomed accordingly. Taeyong was a royalty amongst gangers, and he deserved the best treatment.

Midnight blue Bugatti Chiron registered under “FURY” stopped on the parking lot, and I waited for Taeyong to get out. Seconds passed, and he was still sitting comfortably in the vehicle, building the tension. I didn’t feel stressed, though. Although we hadn’t been properly introduced, I knew a whole lot about him – he was famous for his rage. However, right now, he had to be impressed rather than enraged. Or at least, it was the emotion I hoped for him to feel.

Only a complete psycho, and me, would dare to steal one of his automobiles.

The descending sun was blinding me, and when I raised my hand to block the direct sunlight, the car doors opened. Even in daylight, Taeyong looked like a five-course meal. Today, he was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a Gucci T-shirt; the outfit was simple, yet on him, it looked elevated.

“Very impressive,” he shouted loudly before he coolly walked over. “You’ve got balls, I have to give you that,” he added, and I smirked, considering his words as a compliment. Men of high positions often have trouble complimenting people, let alone women, and Taeyong didn’t seem to be an exception.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, too,” I answered politely, offering him a handshake, which he contemptuously denied. “I must say, I expected to meet you sooner,” I jabbed, but Taeyong only looked at me condescendingly before he walked inside, impatient to check up on his stolen property.

“My people located you yesterday morning, but I wanted to see you in person, and you must know, I am a busy person,” he explained, studying the shabby interior. “No one steals from me.”

“Well… I already have, and it was easier than I previously assumed,” I answered confidently before approaching the cover. “I have a surprise for you, are you ready?” Taeyong didn’t even flinch, and I considered his indifference as an agreement. With one quick pull, I uncovered the vehicle, allowing him to see my teeny tiny change. “I hope you like pink.”

Taeyong grew silent.

I had told Doyoung to change the car paint to hot pink, yet Taeyong didn’t even blink. I expected him to get pissed or, at least, annoyed, but when I looked at his features, I couldn’t see any reaction.

“Actually, pink is my favorite color,” Taeyong emotionlessly announced, and I only stared at him in utter confusion.

What the fuck?

“Well… I expected a different reaction,” I spoke, the wires in my brain incapable of coming up with anything intelligent. A guy with such a foul reputation favors the color pink.

Imagine my shock.

Apparently, Taeyong is a man of many layers.

“Who are you?” Taeyong condescendingly asked as he sat comfortably in the armchair, putting my phone on the armrest. Calmly, he leaned backward, crossed his legs, and entwined his fingers over his bent knee, waiting for me to tell him everything he wanted to know.

“I think you already know who I am,” I stated, and he just stared at me intensely. His people must’ve done a background check on me, yet he still wanted to hear it again. Stealing his car was one thing, but disrespecting him about such trivial matter seemed way worse. Doing something so risky and bold was admirable in his eyes, but wasting his time like this was just annoying, so I simply did what was expected of me.

I told Taeyong about my childhood – how I spent my allowance on go-kart races; it was my escape whenever my father got drunk and picked up fights with my mom. Then, I disclosed my secrets on how I began stealing cars – when I was seventeen, because of excessive drinking, my father needed a liver transplant, and it was the only way of getting money remotely quickly. Later, at the age of twenty-one, I participated in my first street race, though this time, it wasn’t because I needed money – I did it because I enjoyed the thrill.

“How did you steal it? How, on Earth, did you go inside the club without any of my workers noticing you?” Taeyong asked, and although he must’ve already concluded my operating plan, he wanted me to explain it myself. This time around, I didn’t even hesitate.

“I blended in,” I shortly answered with a shrug. “It wasn’t that difficult to find out all the information I needed to get inside unnoticed. I checked all your staff’s social media accounts; it took me like… three days of stalking to get their names and work schedules. That night, I sneaked into the club right after your arrival, and when somebody asked me something, I told them I was busy doing the thing the manager wanted me to do. They just assumed I am the new girl. Normally, I don’t do things like that when I steal a car, but this time around, I wanted to do something extra. Are you impressed?” I challenged, and Taeyong cocked his eyebrow, deeply in thought.

“Huh, last question. Why have you done it?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” I inquired rhetorically, and Taeyong didn’t even bother to give me a proper answer. He seemed bored, and it was making me feel a little bit fed-up. “Well… in all honesty, I am sick and tired of freelancing, I want to work for you,” I elaborated, and Taeyong just chuckled as if I just told him a hilarious joke. Why was he laughing? It was a reasonable proposition, and besides, I’ve already proven my amazing skills.

“I’m not recruiting, sorry,” Taeyong spoke when he stood up and glanced at his pink vehicle. Well… it was a harsh rejection. “You have one day to return my car, or I will have my henchman kill you,” he added, walking up to me until he invaded my personal space.

“Asshole,” I whispered loud enough for him to hear me. Taeyong already knew what I was capable of, yet for some reason, he still decided not to give me a chance. It was a dick move, and I couldn’t let him have the last word.

“You’re feisty. I like that,” Taeyong said at last, “Let’s meet on Friday, at the Superhuman. Midnight. Don’t be late.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me, and don’t forget to bring my fucking car.”

***

“She’s here,” Jaehyun told Taeyong as soon as the gatekeeper forwarded the message. “I can’t believe you didn’t kill her back then,” he added matter-of-factly, remembering the infamous car theft. No matter how many times he thought about it, he couldn’t comprehend how someone could be so stupid to mess with his boss. What puzzled him even more, however, was the fact that Taeyong seemed rather impressed by this woman’s actions.

“I was surprised too,” Taeyong answered honestly. “Can you believe she had the audacity to ask me to recruit her?”

Jaehyun was stupefied. “Well… are you going to?”

“Actually, I am not sure,” Taeyong replied hesitantly. It wasn’t how the regular recruitment process worked, but the woman intrigued him. She had seemed quite keen on working for him, and he was curious how much she wanted this job. “I haven’t decided yet,” Taeyong added, and Jaehyun looked at his boss in concern; Taeyong was impulsive in his decisions, and the fact that he hasn’t made up his mind yet was rather peculiar.

“You can’t be serious,” Jaehyun commented, hoping for Taeyong to come back to his senses. This wasn’t the way the things were dealt with here; if someone dared to mess with the leader, death was the kindest thing they could hope for. If other members found out about it, they might’ve thought Taeyong was getting soft. She disrespected the leader, and she ought to have faced the consequences.

“Bring her in, Jaehyun,” Taeyong ordered, dismissing Jaehyun’s concerns.

“Of course.”

“I expected to meet you in one of the VIP lounges, not in your office,” I spoke the second Taeyong’s henchman led me into an expensive-looking office at the back of the club. “You should’ve given me heads-up, I would’ve dressed accordingly,” I carried on, glancing down at my not suitable clothes.

My outfit consisted of a cropped T-shirt, denim shorts, fishnets, and a pair of combat shoes, and it did not look appropriate under these circumstances. I was expecting a flirty conversation in Taeyong’s natural habitat of leather lounges, expensive drinks, and beautiful girls competing amongst each other for his attention, but instead, he surprised me with a job interview in his private office at the back of his club. If only I had known, I would’ve dressed suitably.

“Leave us alone, Jaehyun,” Taeyong spoke in an authoritarian tone, and his associate left the room without any further comment.

The second I heard the doors click, I let out a breath of relief. For some reason, the henchman’s presence gave me chills. It was difficult to remain composed with Taeyong in such close vicinity, however, when accompanied by the other dangerous man, I felt uncomfortably anxious.

Taeyong’s piercing gaze was fixated on me, and it made me blush a little bit. He was hot as hell, and in all honesty, any woman would react this way if alone with him.

With one fluid motion, he commanded me to sit, and with a sheepish smile on my face, I obliged.

“You seem to be in a good mood,” I started, but Taeyong only smirked, sliding an A4 format envelop across the desk. “What is this?” I asked in confusion, but Taeyong just sat back, entwining his fingers together, enjoying my reaction.

Gang members didn’t sign employment contracts – that’d be silly.

“You admittance,” he started, and I cocked my eyebrow, trying to understand what the hell was going on. “Inside the envelope, you’ll find all the necessary information about your new assignment. Bring this car to me within a week, and you’ll be officially the newest addition to the family.”

It was interesting.

Taeyong had already seen me in action, yet he needed another proof of my qualifications. Actions speak louder than words, but my most recent ones screamed and ought to echo in his ears for years!

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s just a regular procedure, don’t take it personally,” Taeyong added, but I wasn’t exactly buying that. There must’ve been something that he didn’t tell me. There was a catch, it must’ve been. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have that playful spark in his eyes the whole time.

 “I’ll text you the meeting location sometime this week,” he added with a genuine smile, and I didn’t even dare to question how he got my number. “Good luck, doll,” smirking, Taeyong whispered, and I started questioning his intentions.

It must’ve been a set-up.

“I look forward to hearing from you,” I answered respectfully, quickly standing up, wanting to run out of the club. Curiosity was killing me; I had to peek inside the envelope, but I couldn’t do it in front of Taeyong. I hoped he acknowledged me as fearless and confident, and I couldn’t allow him to change his opinion about me. One hesitant glance at the papers could ruin my image, and I couldn’t let it happen.

“Are you out of your mind? You can’t be serious! Tell me you didn’t recruit her,” Jaehyun angrily stormed into Taeyong’s office, fed up with the leader’s decision. The girl left the club alive, and it’s not the outcome he anticipated. Jaehyun would break her neck if only Taeyong told him to. Letting her scot-free was a mistake, and it was crazy that Jaehyun was the only one to realize it.

“Calm down, Jaehyun,” Taeyong announced casually, making Jaehyun a bit confused. “I did give her an assignment, but don’t you worry about it. She’s gonna fail. She’s good, but not that good,” Taeyong added, and both of them smirked mischievously.

***

I’ve never been more anxious. My grip on the envelope was tight, my knuckles turning white, and I really had mixed feelings about opening it. Taeyong’s mischievous smirk couldn’t have been a good omen.

On the other hand, I couldn’t let the stress weaken me, so I did what any other person in my shoes would do – I went to the liquor store and bought the biggest bottle of gin they had. Regardless of what Taeyong had assigned me to do, it would be easier to digest when drunk.

Then I hailed the cab and dialed Doyoung’s number. He picked up after the fourth ring. “I’m coming over,” I quickly said, notifying him before my arrival. As my friend, he would help me if the alcohol was to fail.

“You’re alive, so I assume it didn’t go that bad,” Doyoung spoke when he opened the doors and let me in. Not bothering to greet him, I walked passed him and shoved the bottle of gin into his hands. “Are we celebrating?” He asked, kicking the doors shut, “please, tell me we’re celebrating.”

“I don’t know,” I answered, plopping into an old armchair, throwing the envelope on the coffee table. “We’re about to find out. Taeyong gave me another assignment, but pour me a drink first. I’m not sure I can handle it sober,” I explained, and Doyoung knew what to do. Within a minute, he was back with two Scooby-doo mugs and a bottle of tonic.

“It can’t be that bad,” he started as he sat down on the couch on the other side of the coffee table, pouring us drinks, which were basically 80% alcohol. “I mean… you’ve stolen his car; can it get any more challenging than that?” Doyoung asked, and I actually had to admit he was right. Taeyong’s the most dangerous crime lord in the country; as long as he didn’t make me steal Kim Jongun’s tank, I should be fine. However, on the second thought, I didn’t know Taeyong that well, so the guess might’ve not been that farfetched.

“I don’t want to open this envelope,” I confessed as I picked up the mug with Shaggy’s face and took a large gulp.

“Do you want me to do that for you?” Doyoung proposed, and I nodded. Perhaps if Doyoung read it out for me, it would’ve been easier to accept my fate. “Because you’re all stressed out, I’m all fidgety too,” Doyoung added before he grabbed the envelope, looking inside.

“What does it say?” I inquired in curiosity, hoping to hear some good news.

“It looks like you gotta steal a yellow Ferrari LaFerrari,” Doyoung started, as he pulled out a picture of my target. OK, it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, it was doable. “And it belongs to someone called Yuta,” he spoke, and I jumped to my feet and snatched the papers out of Doyoung’s hands in disbelief.

It must’ve been a sick joke.

“It can’t be,” I whispered, refusing to comprehend what Taeyong wanted of me. He was a complete psycho if he thought I could steal one of Yuta’s cars.

“Do you know this dude?” Doyoung inquired, reaching for his cup with Fred.

“Do I know this dude?” I deadpanned, trying not to burst out in tears. I was royally screwed. “It’s Nakamoto Yuta. He’s the royalty of Yakuza. He’s basically Taeyong’s biggest rival,” I explained, and it got Doyoung speechless.

“Well… it sucks,” he whispered, downing his drink, ignoring the burn. “What are you gonna do?”

“Good question,” I replied, coping Doyoung’s actions, drinking my gin to the very last drop. “Even if I manage to steal his car, how am I supposed to get it across the border? It’s a suicide mission.”

“Is there anything else in the envelope?” Doyoung asked, and I put all the papers on the coffee table. Among documents about Yuta’s bio, there was a check for 20 grand written under my name. “Mr. Bad Boy must’ve felt generous,” he commented, but I didn’t find it amusing. Mr. Bad Boy, as Doyoung eloquently put it, would kill me if I failed this mission.

“Generous or not, I’m gonna be dead if I don’t bring this car to him within a week,” I muttered, feeling helpless. I lacked ideas on how to conduct the theft successfully, and the time was slowly running out.

“You can do this,” Doyoung stated confidently, not even a sliver of hesitation in his tone. He was absolutely sure of my skills, and I wished I had as much faith in myself as he had in me. “We have no time to waste; pack everything you need, we’re going to Japan.”

“Do you have a plan, though?”

“We’ll come up with one on our way.”

***

Doyoung was right; we had no time to waste. God, in times like these, I was really thankful he was my friend. Right now, when I was a nervous wreck, he was the voice of reason. If it wasn’t for him, I’d get wasted and pass out in the poodle of my own vomit. Thanks to him, I was only slightly tipsy, but productive as fuck. We made a stop by my apartment and his car repair to get everything necessary, and then took a train to the harbor.

The first ferry to Japan was leaving the docks at 7 o’clock. The journey was about to last more or less 8 hours, it was plenty of time to finish the entire bottle of gin and come up with a foolproof plan on how to steal that Ferrari.

“How about you seduce Yuta, and he lets you borrow his car?” Doyoung voiced his seventh plan this morning, and in comparison to his previous ideas, it actually seemed doable. “It’s great in its simplicity,” he added, and I shook my head in disappointment. Even if I was his type, how was I supposed to bullshit my way into his pants without any Japanese skills?

“How about you seduce Yuta, and when he’s busy drilling your ass, I’ll sneak into his mansion and snatch the car?” I proposed, and Doyoung fake-gagged at the thought of doing this. Or maybe, he just has had one shot of gin too many. One could never be sure…

“How about you seduce Yuta and talk him into doing it in his car, and when you’re about to do it, I knock him out with a rock?”

“How about we go to Yuta’s club, and you challenge him in a singing duel, and you win the car fair and square?”

“How about we find Yuta’s doppelganger to steal his identity and pay him to steal the car for you?”

“How about we kidnap Yuta and keep him hostage until they give us the car?”

“How about we hypnotize Yuta into making him lend us his car?”

Truthfully, we struggled a lot while trying to figure out the best way to prove my worth to Taeyong. Stealing Yuta’s car wasn’t an easy assignment – some people would say it was impossible. Thankfully, we came up with one solution throughout our drunken brainstorm that wasn’t that bad…

We were so drunk that I couldn’t actually remember who came up with this idea. One second, Doyoung and I were brainstorming, then, a moment later, someone woke us up because we reached the shore.

“Come on, we have no time,” Doyoung said as he picked up his bag, urging me to pick up mine and get off the ferry. I rubbed my eyes and looked at him, wondering how, on Earth, he wasn’t hungover. “You’ve got only six days left…”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” I answered, groaning.

I had an unpleasant feeling in my gut, telling me this week was going to be awful, but at least we had figured out a plan. It was far from perfection, but with proper execution, I could pull this through.

***

By sheer luck, I managed to accomplish my seemingly impossible mission. Though I didn’t fully believe in the plan, we didn’t make a single mistake, and after three days of data analyzing and one night of the actual heist, we were on our way back.

Hopefully, it was the only recruitment assignment that Taeyong wanted me to fulfill.

On Friday, one hour before the meet-up, Taeyong sent me the location.

In an hour, I’d become one of his people, and I wanted to look worthy of the new position. Wisely, I chose my best outfit, deciding to wear a pair of black leather trousers, a modest white button-down shirt, and fancy boots on a 10 centimeters heel. I looked formal, but with a fierce twist, and I gave off that cutthroat businesswoman vibe. I lived for this outfit. And to top it all, I carefully applied make-up, making sure to highlight all of my features.

I expected to meet with Taeyong in his extravagant mansion, yet he surprised and scared me at the same time with his decision. This gig cost me a lot of stress, and the last thing I wanted was to meet with the most dangerous thug in the country in a deserted meeting point in the city outskirts.

Trying to remain calm, I sighed to shake off all types of negative thoughts. Terrifying scenarios were playing in my head in which Taeyong shot me in the head and dumped my body somewhere in the woods. Taeyong was a dangerous gangster, but I believed he had the honor and would not kill me without any concrete reason.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t say the same thing about his henchmen – this Jaehyun guy in particular. It was obvious the guy hated me and was pissed with Taeyong because of me. I didn’t fancy meeting with him, it would be best if Taeyong and I could talk alone.

Punctually, I arrived at the meeting point. Nonchalantly, I got out of the vehicle, shut the doors close, and leaned against the hood, waiting for Taeyong to appear. The night was warm, yet a little bit windy – it was perfect for the employment celebration.

Taeyong was running a bit late, but I didn’t mind. Besides, he was the most wanted thug in the country; he wasn’t running late – anyone he was meeting with was just too early.

So I waited.

Thankfully, I had plenty of time to psych myself up, so when I heard an engine roar in the distance, I didn’t panic. I was confident enough to face Taeyong and genuinely smile in response to his compliments. This theft was epic, and I expected to hear how impressed he was of me. It was the only reaction I hoped to get.

I was right, it had to be Taeyong. Who else could’ve been in the jet black Audi R8 Spyder registered under “WHIPLASH”?

Having parked right beside me, Taeyong got out of the car, carefully inspecting the Ferrari. His focused eyes were studying the vehicle’s features as if trying to tell it indeed belonged to Yuta. In the meantime, I studied Taeyong’s outfit.

Tonight, he was wearing all black: a pair of high combat shoes, black cargo pants, a see-through shirt, and a leather jacket. The outfit was on point, but when topped with his new haircut – tousled and of powder pink color, Taeyong looked like a model. I wouldn’t be surprised if I found out that modeling companies contact him every once in a while to recruit him.

“How did you do it?” Taeyong asked, his tone telling me he didn’t believe in my talent. Well… that hurt a little bit, but proving him wrong gave me a lot of pleasure at the same time.

“It wasn’t easy,” I started, not really wanting to spill the beans; especially, when the story wasn’t as impressive as he might’ve thought. “I really wanted this job, so I had to figure out a plan. You know how it is… you gotta discover your enemies’ weaknesses and use them to your advantage.”

“It doesn’t answer my question, doll,” Taeyong remarked, smirking at the nickname he once again used to refer to me. It must’ve really stuck with him. “I gotta be honest with you, I expected you to fail, but you actually did it. I’m impressed,” he added, and I smiled, swiping my hair to the back in a nonchalant manner.

“What can I say? I’m really good at what I do,” I replied, looking into his eyes, trying to remain in the confident pose. “Now, it would be a mistake not to hire me,” I trailed off, making Taeyong smirk again. He was gorgeous, but when that mischievous smirk decorated his face, he was just breath-taking.

With his hands in the pockets, Taeyong took a few nonchalant steps toward me and placed his hands on the hood of the car, leaning in, trapping me between his arms. His stern glace was trying to penetrate my mind, to read me, but I managed to remain calm.

I wanted to work for him, not to hop on his dick, and though the second option seemed rather tempting, I had my priorities set straight.

“From the moment I saw you, I knew you were special,” Taeyong whispered in a husky voice, and I looked up into his eyes, swallowing hard. He was indisputably intimidating, but I couldn’t let his charm overtake me. “You seem troublesome, but at the same time, awfully skilled.”

“You bet,” I answered, trying to ignore the fact that Taeyong just pushed his leg between my thighs, inching closer and closer with every second. “Is that how you treat all your employees?” I asked, trying not to lose my cool.

“They’re not employees, they’re family,” Taeyong clarified, and I rolled my eyes, actually expecting his kind of answer from him. “And that would be weird if I treated them this way, wouldn’t it?”

“They wouldn’t be your family, but your orgy if you ask me,” I spoke matter-of-factly, waiting for his reaction since I doubted anyone was this frank with him.

“Why do I have a feeling you’re gonna be a huge pain in the ass?” Taeyong asked, hopefully not expecting an answer. “Quite talented one,” he added, dropping his head down to my neck, placing a delicate peck against my sensitive skin.

“But hey, it’s what keeps everything fresh and exciting,” I offered, suggesting looking on the bright side of these circumstances. “So… speaking of my recruitment…” I mentioned, internally wishing for Taeyong to keep his hands to himself. I was trying to be professional, and it was incredibly difficult with the boss, basically making out with my neck.

“One more test and you’re officially a new addition to the family,” Taeyong said sternly, finally pulling out. “You said you race, I want to see you in action,” he added, and I bit my bottom lip due to stress. Seriously? Another test? He got to be kidding me. “Don’t worry; it’s a formality at this point.”

Honestly, his words didn’t cheer me up at all. I had stolen his car, and then I had been to Japan to steal his rival’s car. And now, he wanted me to pass another test. Come on!

“All you gotta do is to give me a lift back to my mansion,” Taeyong announced, somewhat excited to see my driving performance. “The route takes up to 20 minutes, so I’m gonna give you ten. It sounds fair, doesn’t it?”

“What about your car? I wouldn’t leave it here if I were you,” I remarked, trying to make out a logical answer. I wouldn’t leave my bike here, let alone a sports car, knowing how much crime was going on in this particular part of the city.

“Normally, I’d not, but you see… I caught a flat tire,” Taeyong explained, and I cocked my eyebrow, trying to see which tire was pierced. I didn’t notice any damage, but then, Taeyong pulled out his gun, shooting through the left back tire, making his point. “It was an exceptionally unfortunate accident,” he added, and I rolled my eyes at him.

He was a mad man.

“OK, fine, get in, loser,” I said, inviting him inside the car. Having sat comfortably and fastened our seatbelts, Taeyong put the location into the GPS. “Are you gonna time me?”

“Of course,” Taeyong answered, extending his arm, staring at his expensive wristwatch. “You have ten minutes, starting… now.”

Carefully, I chose one of my playlists before driving off.

It was a wild ride. I was driving twice as fast as the road signs were telling me to while singing my heart out to Backstreet Boys’ biggest hits “Everybody” and “I Want It That Way”. At this point, Taeyong was probably questioning whether it was safe to get in the car with me, or not. Though I encouraged him to join me in this carpool karaoke, yet he decided not to.

The navigation system was giving me weird directions, trying to lead me into congestion. Listening to my driver’s instinct, I sped through some self-discovered shortcuts. Judging my Taeyong’s expression, he had no idea what I was doing.

In the middle of “I Want It That Way”, I had to speed up even more. Each song is about four minutes long, so I still had about three minutes left to make it to the mansion, and though I seemed rather calm, I was out of my mind.

I’ve gone too far to lose right now. I couldn’t let this short race end up my flourishing career. I had stolen two cars within two weeks, and both vehicles belonged to the most dangerous men in their countries. I couldn’t lose now.

Breaking probably all traffic laws, I managed to reach Taeyong’s mansion before the boys got to finish the last chorus.

“You’re a triple threat, doll,” Taeyong said, and I wondered what the third admirable thing about me was. Undoubtedly, he was impressed with my theft and racing skills, yet I didn’t have a clue what was the third factor. “You’re officially one of us,” he added, and I smiled widely, ecstatic to finally hear his words of approval.

After so much testing, I finally proved my worth to him, and he took me under his wings.

Having pulled out his phone, Taeyong gave me a few instructions. “From this moment onward, Lucas is your direct superior, you gotta report everything back to him; I texted you the address. Be there first thing in the morning. Better be on time, Lucas doesn’t like it when people are late.”

“Thank you, Taeyong.”

“Don’t thank me, doll,” Taeyong replied, opening the doors, ready to exit the vehicle. “You have no idea what you’ve got yourself into.”

“I’ve got one more question…” I hollered, and Taeyong sat back in the passenger seat, waiting for my final inquiry. “What am I supposed to do with this car?” I asked, and Taeyong shrugged nonchalantly, suggesting it was not his problem.

“Get rid of it, obviously,” Taeyong answered, confirming my suspicions. “It belongs to Yuta, and the last thing I want is him realizing that I have it. Burn it down, dump it in the lake, I don’t care, just make sure it’s not gonna be found.”

“Great,” I whispered, losing enthusiasm with each voiced letter. It was problematic to bring it here, yet disposing of it was going to be even worse.

“Don’t lose your spirit, doll,” Taeyong added, leaning down towards me. With his right hand, he raised my chin and pressed a delicate peck against the skin of my cheek. “Good luck, make your daddy proud,” he whispered before exiting the car, shutting the doors close.

Though Taeyong was long gone, I was sitting in the vehicle, not leaving the driveway. What the hell just happened? Not only was he using this stupid nickname, but then he dropped that daddy bomb. I was not prepared for this.