#KUDOS MAKE ME FEEL GOOD 👀

[adarlingmess]

There's a lack of morally grey/evil male romantic options for BG3.

Let me preface this by saying that the direction Larian Studios took for the romances are groundbreaking. I can definitely feel the effect they wanted us to feel with the romances- it feels like an actual relationship instead of a game where the end goal is just sex. The players are given an opportunity to influence their love interests and affect their storylines for better or for worse, just like how one would in a real relationship. Kudos!

But… I need to say it. As much as I love Baldur's Gate and BG3, the "bad girl" romance options are numerous (Viconia, Hexxat & arguably Safana in the predecessor games; Shadowheart, Lae'Zel, & Minthara + Mizora as a fling in 3) compared to the male (Dorn in 2, Astarion in 3). There's something off about it that I can't put my finger on. Plus, player have more control on whether to "fix" the bad girls or "make her worse". Meanwhile, Astarion is the only "bad boy" you can do that with. You can't even steer Dorn to a lighter path- he will straight up leave you if you are too good.

In Baldur's Gate 3, every male romance option except Astarion starts off as "good boy" romances. Gale and Wyll did questionable things but their alignment ultimately leans towards good. Halsin is a walking green flag. What if we want to roleplay a character who is into the "bad boys"? This is why we were clamoring for a Raphael and Abdirak romance since Early Access. I see folks wanting Nere and Gortash too. Where are our bastards? Please, we want to play with fire 👀

[visualtaehyun]

I'm not making the same dumb mistake twice in a row so- 'Chop' Anon, please find the long answer to your ask right here! And curse this hellsite for eating asks...

Disclaimer: not a native Thai speaker, still learning 🙏

Anon, my answer is gonna be twofold. The word ชอบ /chaawp/ = 'like' comes up a lot this episode and you can see that it can be used exactly the same as in English, platonically or romantically, it really just depends on context. And as you said, Jane does have the context of catching Ryan staring at him, getting flustered, trying to act nonchalant, talking to himself, zoning out, and generally acting real fucking weird lmao all throughout the episode. It's no wonder that he assumes Ryan's hangry or mad again, even checking for stomach rumbles 😂

The word 'like'

Thai has this fun feature where you don't always need to use pronouns or any other qualifying words to denote who or what you're referring to which can be both a boon cause it simplifies talking by assuming others will know the meaning from a previous or given context (or you intentionally omit that meaning!) and a curse cause it makes translating nuance a bit of a struggle sometimes 🥴

For example, this routinely happens in short question-answer exchanges but I'll let you be the judge:

- Pie: แกชอบป่ะ /gae chaawp bpa/ = You like [it]? - Ryan, only staring at Jane: ชอบ /chaawp/ = [I] like [🤡?]. - Jane, turning around: [🤡?] - Me @ translating stuff like this: 🤡

เขาดูเหมื่อนชอบพี่เจนนะครับ /khao duu meuuan chaawp phi Jane na khrap/ = I'm jealous because Khun Joy keeps hitting on you. lol just kidding subs are right on

- Jane: แบบนี้ ชอบไหมครับ /baaep nee, chaawp mai khrap/ = lit.: Like this/this way, [do you] like [it]? -> this sounds like an odd thing to say to a client in both English and Thai lmao clearly you'd usually ask if it's 'okay' or 'good' or something like that but the script needed to set up Khun Joy's flirty answer - Joy: ชอบตั้งแต่แรกแล้ว /chaawp dtang dtaae raaek laaeo/ = [I've] liked [🤡?] since the beginning.

I'll get back to Ryan's last 'like' at the end~

Jane and pronouns

The second part of my answer is how interesting and, frankly, puzzling I find Jane in how he talks to Ryan. Up until part [2/4] Jane actually completely omits any pronouns with him, as he's done frequently in the past. But when he does use them with Ryan- boy oh boy, he's kinda all over the place this episode! If Ryan wasn't so busy stewing in his confused feelings and jealousy, he might've noticed that Jane keeps flip-flopping between very different choices. Kudos to P'Baimon for catching Jane acting like a lovesick fool too that one time he's smiling at the printer 👀

Here's every single instance of Jane using 1st and 2nd pers. pronouns with Ryan, every other time you read any 1st or 2nd pers. pronouns in the subs in conversation with Ryan, he actually omits them, which is most of the time!

1) When they're unseriously fighting in front of the printer:

เรานี่แหละ ประหลาด /rao nee lae, bpra laat/ เราเป็นเด็กฝึกงานของพี่ /rao bpen dek feuk ngaan khaawng phi/ -> 🫣 that last one got me a bit shy with the ของพี่ /khaawng phi/ (= mine, my [...], lit. phi's [...]) and I think the editor agrees with me there, considering the music cut out lol

2) When Jane discovers the broken bottle debacle and turns to Ryan:

คุณไปรอผมที่ห้อง /khun bpai raaw pom thee haawng/ -> back to formal pronouns again, either because they're not alone or because he's about to scold Ryan or both even

3) When Jane scolds Ryan:

ถ้ามีคนเป็นอะไรขึ้นมา คุณรับผิดชอบไหวหรอ /thaa mee khohn bpen a rai kheun maa, khun rap phit chaawp wai raw/ -> still formal

แล้วมีพี่ให้โทรหาคนเดียวหรอ /laaeo mee phi hai thoh haa khohn diiao raw/ พี่รู้เรื่องนี้คนเดียวหรอ /phi ruu reuuang nee khohn diiao raw/ -> arguably softening his scolding a bit by switching to the more familiar พี่ /phi/ they established at the end of last ep., maybe because of Ryan's voice too which at this point sounds close to tears

And then Ryan is crying 🥺 Oof. Honestly? Jane was actually harsh this time! But rightfully so too, and it's very much in line with his principles and character. And he does immediately apologize for raising his voice and being so harsh, exactly like he told Ryan he would, in ep. 3, if he did wrong by him:

ที่หงุดหงิดเนี่ย เพราะว่าพี่เป็นห่วง /thee ngoot ngit niia, phraw waa phi bpen huuang/ = That [I got so] angry is because I was/am worried. แล้วก็ขอโทษด้วยที่พูดแรง ๆ เมื่อกี้ /laaeo gaaw khaaw thoht duuay thee phuut raaeng raaeng meuua gee/ -> no pronouns here again

This is probably just me being me lol but it's giving Lian harshly scolding Kuea in Cutie Pie when he puts himself in danger mishandling a knife and then immediately softening when Kuea starts crying.

ถ้ามันมีคนได้รับบาดเจ็บ ตัวแกเองนั่นแหละจะเป็นต้นเหตุ /thaa man mee khohn dai rap baat jep, dtuua gae eng nan lae ja bpen dtohn heht/

By this point, I was literally like 'Huh. What even is going on, he's so all over the place in terms of pronoun use, where did this แก come from all of a sudden?' My reading of this is that he's actually just as unsure and confused about Ryan and his feelings for him as Ryan has been all episode.

แก /gae/ is an informal familiar 2nd pers. pronoun that's a little impolite but not nearly as rude as มึง /meung/ and can similarly express closeness with someone you know well, it's used between age mates or for someone younger. In Thai BL, you hear แก /gae/ a lot more from or between girl friends than the rude pronoun of choice between guy friends, มึง /meung/. If you scroll back up, you'll see that Pie called Ryan แก /gae/ as well! The kids are a different story though, they all use a variety of different pronouns amongst each other, depending on context, mood, situation, individual relationship, ... I ain't getting into that lol it would take forever to explain, please no one get any ideas asking me about all of that 🥴

So here we are again with the word 'like'

ผมชอบงานนี้ ชอบที่นี้ /pom chaawp ngaan nee. chaawp thee nee/ แล้วก็ชอบพี่ดว้ย /laaeo gaaw chaawp phi duuay/

Arthur meme meets 😦 emoji

Sometimes Jane looks at Ryan like he's trying to solve a puzzle. It seems like he just realized that they're having two different conversations. But judging from his subtle reactions-- He's not dumb enough to assume that Ryan means it any other way than romantically, considering Ryan's odd behavior all throughout the episode too. Looking at the preview, I think he's gonna refuse to acknowledge Ryan's clearly romantic feelings though, not least of all because HR is already looming in the background, ready to go 🚨!!!

หรือเป็นเพราะผมบอกชอบพี่ไปแล้ว [...] /reuu bpen phraw pom baawk chaawp phi bpai laaeo/ = lit.: Or it's because I've told you I like you [...] -> บอกชอบ /baawk chaawp/ = lit. tell like; tell someone you like them (romantically), confess to liking someone

So! ชอบ /chaawp/ isn't exclusively romantic, same as the English 'like', but there's just no way around how Ryan meant this. And Jane knows it 🌚🌝 Hope my rambles satisfied your curiosity, anon!

[captaindamianos]

I would love a new rec list if you’re offering! 👀🙏🏿😊

Hello!! I'm so incredibly sorry it took me more than a month instead of the day or ten I joked about in my tags. I wasn't feeling too great and I also lost my motivation to participate in the fandom in any way. So it was hard for me to focus on this task.

But I really want to thank you so much for encouraging me! This turned out to be a good way to appreciate other people participating in the fandom and thank them for the work they shared with us.

In the spirit of things though I'm going to make this the most self-indulgent list I can come up with, so this will probably include a few wips, but I'm going to mention that because I know people don't like wips (can't relate haha I've met cool people that way and I love when authors get chatty in the comments).

It's in no particular order! Just whatever came to mind or what I found in the depths of my bookmarks. Let's get started 💪

Canis Major by Lapin

Point of Opposition by forthelongesttime

lovesick by forthelongesttime

Favourite by RockingRobing

Sexual Intercourse by antivillain

The Stand-in Wedding Planner and the Obstinate Baker by penstrikesmidnight

even in another time by phlegmatic

white wine in the sun by phlegmatic (WIP)

Lord, You Keep Me Crawling by princessofpatras (WIP)

come uncover me series by sweetricebuns

i got the t-top cherry blue (now i'm looking at you) by sweetricebuns

too hot to handle series by sweetricebuns

Wildflowers by Shigure_Natsu

A (Precious) Moment In Time by CoffeeDragon87

Lemongrass & Peony by starsxabove

The Garden by DisraeliGears

we kiss and then by residue (please check out all of the authors works as well👌)

Feasts From Heaven by ahdriking

Brute by ahdriking

From Your Mouth by Holly_Golightly I hope there's something in there for everyone, always heed the warnings and ratings. I deliberately left out a lot of fanfics that are already popular, because chances are people have already read them. But I had to add some, because they're very dear to me personally like EIAT and Brute. And I featured a few I've read in the past few months to a year or two. Maybe you missed them, maybe you recently joined and filtered for kudos or hits. But definitely give them a chance, there's so many gems out there. It's once again just a really really small list and definitely doesn't include everything I liked or would recommend, but I have to stop somewhere. If there's specific tropes or things you're looking for, let me know, I can try to make themed lists as well, if it's something I read myself. Hopefully in a shorter time frame next time.

[ablatheringblatherskite]

Top 5 Raoul moments from poto? 👀

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD Q THANK YOU SO MUCH

Okay so there's so many that I absolutely adore, but off the top of my head, in no particular order...

1. BRAVA!! BRAVA!! And his entire solo in Think of Me 🥹 HE'S SO HAPPY TO SEE HER I'M GONNA CRY

2. As we read to each other dark stories of the north! THE FACE HE MAKES LOL AND THE WAY HE SAYS IT. And just. This entire scene where they're catching up with each other and reminiscing about their childhood oh my HEART

3. Him asking for another kiss in All I Ask of You 😭 AND THE WAY HE HOLDS HER HEADDDDD AAUHWHEWGDHHWHDW. And just. the entirety of All I Ask of You, really. just that entire scene. my heart can't handle it actually

And AND the confused expression then LOOK OF JOY AND REALIZATION HERE:

Also let's not forget... "CHRISTINE, I LOOOOVEEE YOUUU" 😭😭😭

IT WAS SO SPONTANEOUS SO JOYFUL AS IF HIS HEART COULDN'T CONTAIN IT ANYMORE AND HE HAD TO SAY IT. AND CHRISTINE'S REACTION AFTERWARDS CLUTCHING HER HEART OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS I'M GONNA CRY AGAIN

AND ALSO his expression of surprise here when Christine sings "order your fine horses!"

And OF COURSE the parts directly before the song, when Christine just crumples after hearing the Phantom again and Raoul sees just how SCARED she is, and how he immediately comforts herrr 😭 I love them so much you don't understand I LOVE THEM SO MUCH MY BELOVEDS

4. Every moment of him dancing in Masqueradeeeee 😭 YOU GO, BBY!! go Raoul go Raoul GO!! (also he looks MAGNIFICENT in that outfit omg 👀)

5. The way he steps up before and after Point of No Return. Just. A magnificent display of leadership and how he was able to keep his bearings even after Piangi died, even when he was clearly panicking because the Phantom just took Christine. COMFORTING MEGGGG and doing exactly what you should in an emergency, telling SPECIFIC people what to do (instead of vaguely shouting orders). Bear in mind he was TWENTY-ONE when this took place (at least in the book) so like kudos to him??? Twenty-one is practically still a teenager and I SHOULD KNOW IM NEARLY TWENTY-ONE AND I STILL FEEL FIFTEEN. PEOPLE SHOULD PROBABLY TAKE THAT INTO ACCOUNT REGARDING RAOUL MORE.

Also he's just adorable in this GIF 😭 (I wanna... touch his hair...)

6. I'm so sorry I'm gonna cheat and add a sixth because THIS MOMENT NEEDS TO BE ADDED. THIS MOMENT, when he leads Christine out of the Phantom's lair 😭😭😭 LOOK AT HIS FACE. THAT LOOK OF SORROW. HE KNOWS CHRISTINE ISN'T FULLY FOLLOWING HIM AND MAYBE SHE WON'T EVER WILL. BECAUSE A PART OF HER WAS LEFT WITH THE PHANTOM AND HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. CAN'T DO ANYTHING BUT LOVE HER. AND OQJWYSHQHDHQHDHWHDHWHDH???!? BYE I'M GONNA GO AND CRY NOW

BONUS:

When he almost trips on the bench 😭

Send me Top Five Anythings and I'll answer!

[lonelychicago]

fic rec friday fun! 💌

rules: share the links to your wonderful words with the most hits/most kudos/most comments/most bookmarks /most words/least words

tagged by @spotsandsocks @littlebitofdiaz @prince-buck-diaz and @bekkachaos 💗

most hits, most kudos and most bookmarks

and this is when the feeling sinks in ( i don't wanna miss you like this ) mature | 17.4k words

Buck was supposed to come home in a couple months, pretty close to Eddie's birthday. He was finishing his tour with the Navy and then they'll get their happy ending. That's how it was supposed to go.

Then two officers showed up at Eddie's door with a flag and thanking his husband for serving their country.

And everything changed.

2. most comments

believe in one thing (i won't go away) mature | 24k words

"I think— I think we should go to therapy. Together." Eddie says one night and takes Buck completely by surprise. "Therapy? Together?" "Yeah, like, couple's therapy or something. Frank told me he can recommend someone for us." "Eddie…" Buck says slowly, as if he's trying to explain the hardest math problem in the universe to a five year old. "We're not, uh— We're not a couple." "No, I know." Eddie frowns and looks down, fidgeting with the beer in between his hands. "But we're partners." He says, this time a lot lower that Buck barely hears it. "Right?"

or; the one where buck is figuring out stuff after waking up from a coma, eddie misses his best friend and they go to couple's therapy.

3. most words

made my way to a life i would choose | explicit | 26.1k words

In which Eddie transfers from his station to the Dispatch Center to be the LAFD Liaison, change is hard, staying away from Dispatcher Evan Buckley is even harder and not falling in love with the man is god-damned impossible. Eddie makes his way to a life he would choose and to a family who will choose him back. or affectionately called the buddie at dispatch fic <3

4. least words

I'm the one on the phone as you whisper | teen and up | 1.2k words (it has 999 kudos so if someone wanted to go and read it and leave a kudo i wouldn't complain about it 👀)

"Hey, how do you feel about an impromptu romantic date at a fancy restaurant with the love of your life?" He asks once he hears the call has been picked up. There's silence on the other line for longer than it's normal and Buck is about to check if Hen hang up on him when someone finally speaks— and Buck suddenly feels sick to his stomach. "Okay." Says the voice that is certainly not Hen's. The voice that's been haunting Buck's every dream for forever. "Eddie?" Buck chokes out, stuttering and hoping to God it's not him. "Yeah…" Of course it is..Buck looks up at his ceiling again, cursing the damn universe and its awful sense of humor. He's sure its laughing at him at this point. "Why? D-Did you mean to call someone else?"

or: Buck's date cancels but he has already made the restaurant reservation, so he decides to call Hen and ask if she'd like to take Karen there. He dials the wrong number. It all works in the end.

honorary mention to famous buck au bc it might not fit in any of this categories but it's still one of my fave fics i've written:

he never thinks of me (except when i'm on TV) mature | 18.1k words

"I have been in love, yes." He says after the most torturous of seconds. "Would you mind expanding on that?" Buck hesitates for a few seconds and then Eddie sees the exact moment he decides 'fuck it' as he straightens in his seat. "There was this guy in high school. He was my best friend." Wait. Hold on. Eddie freezes. Is Buck— Is Buck talking about him? or: In which Eddie finds out years later that his unrequited feelings for his high school best friend were not actually unrequited, Buck is stupidly famous now and they pine. They get there in the end, they just need to get their timing right. Inspired by the prompt: “you’re famous and just got asked if you were ever in love this should be good– WAIT WHAT."

tagging (no pressure): @monsterrae1 @buddierights @barbiediaz @cowboy-buddie @transbuck @transboybuckley @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @lesbianmaygrant @maygrantgf @buckitup @the-likesofus @spaceprincessem @alyxmastershipper @elvensorceress @ebdaydreamer @greyacebuckley @starlingbite @lovebuck @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy @911onabc @hippolotamus @shortsighted-owl and anyone else who wants to do it! 💗

[kiwiana-writes]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks @cha-melodius and @stereopticons for the tags! I know I’ve done this in the past, but it’s been a hot minute…

How many works do you have on ao3?

239!

What's your total ao3 word count?

822,937—but that’s a collaboration-boosted lie. Per my writing tracker, words that I have personally written and published on AO3 is 693,613

What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly RWRB these days, but the majority of my back catalogue is Schitt’s Creek, with a few others sprinkled in for fun. The Pairing definitely made my brain whirr… we’ll see.

Top five fics by kudos:

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest), RWRB, 65.5k, the Much Ado About Nothing stage actor AU

Kinda think that I might be his type, RWRB, 12.8k, Alex and Bea fake date and Alex gets a little distracted by Bea’s brother

We were supposed to find this, RWRB, 3.3k, soulmate AU

We always walked a very thin line, Happiest Season, 2.7k, Riley character study/alternate ending

All the Lonely Starbucks Lovers, RWRB, 5.8k, barista Henry repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth in front of his coworker crush

(This is how I learned Puck It has been knocked out of my top five 😭)

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! And absent a Schitt’s Creek resurgence of some kind that sees me absolutely inundated I don’t see that changing.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Five ways it could have ended (and one way it still could), Schitt’s Creek, 1.2k, for the love of god read the tags

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Like… most of them? I love to end on a good HEA haha. For sheer joy, though, it’s probably With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest)

Do you get hate on fics?

From time to time. I’m very free with the delete button. Weirdly, it occasionally pops up in the AO3 comments but mostly seems to come to me via anons on tumblr??? I have no idea why.

Do you write smut?

It’s been known to happen, I guess 👀

Craziest crossover:

I haven’t written any AO3-era crossovers! A few fusions/media AUs, but no crossovers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. I’ve only been asked once, and they wanted to post off AO3 which is a big heck nope for me (and my permissions statement has now been updated to reflect that)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Heck yeah I have. I’ve done several anthology-type collaborations where we each wrote a chapter in a fic, and I’ve fully cowritten fics with @ships-to-sail several times. We have another collab coming up for @aroyallybigbangrwrb and I’m also cowriting The Big Secret AU with @indestructibleheart which is essentially us one-upping each other on emotionally devastating ideas until someone writes them down. Good system 😂

All time favorite ship?

Stop making pansexuals choose things.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Look, the chances of kinktober 2021 being finished at this point are slim 😂

Schitt’s Creek kinkverse… I don’t know. I have little snippets written of future fics and they’re great but… idk. Maybe I’ll write one vignette-y wrap up fic one day.

What are your writing strengths?

Narrative POV, dialogue that feels like the characters, epistolary bullshit, smut apparently.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Coming up with actual plot lmao. Visual descriptors — I’m not even remotely a visual person so I really really struggle with writing the sorts of things people can visualise. Also like… the passage of time? A scam.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Love it. I’ll shoulder tap a fluent speaker if I need an actual sentence/anything Google isn’t super reliable for. Forever heartbroken that there are no fics in my second language in AO3 and no reason for me to be able to sprinkle it into my own writing (though one of the subscriber shindig prompts might be about to change that 👀)

First fandom you wrote in?

HP

Favorite fic you've written?

Stop! Asking! Pansexuals! To! Choose! Things!

I don’t know there are 239 of the bloody things 😂 I’m far more interested in what other people’s favourites are than what my own is!

I have no sense of who’s done this already so apologies if this is a double up but tagging @agame-writes @affectionatelyrs @anincompletelist @cricketnationrise @getmehighonmagic

@happiness-of-the-pursuit @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @nontoxic-writes

@read-and-write- @rmd-writes @sparklepocalypse @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play!

[theforgottenmcrmy]

live reactions to house of the dragon season 2, episode 2

once again, these are just my opinions (about a fictional show and characters, no less). I will not engage with incendiary arguments (if there are any) , but I am always open to polite discussions or thoughts🖤

spoilers below the cut

still loving this new intro🖤

can you imagine how terrifying it would be to be a servant in the Red Keep post 🩸 and 🧀?

Aegon’s voice literally doesn’t even sound like Aegon👀

And just WHERE have you been, Aemond?!

“We mustn’t me shaken by this.” BROOO are you kidding me?!?! That was your great grandson?

“The gods punish us. They punish me.” Yes.

Tyland I can’t even with you lmao-

Paranoid Aegon here we go…

I will give Aegon major kudos for initially objecting to Otto’s plan to parade about his son’s body. 💚 his instincts are there at times, he has just always been coddled, misguided, and not reprimanded when he needed to be.

Why is Aegon the only one spared from this parade? They 110% could have had her refrain from going out in public, and it might have been more effective. “The queen is so distraught, she is unable to leave her chambers.” Where’s the lie? And you spare that poor girl even more torture.

Helaena never wanted this, never wanted to be queen.💔 She’s not a queen who lost a prince, she is just a mother who lost her son.

Helaena is seeing something, I just don’t know what…

Where are the damn guards in this show?!?! So six go to unstick the carriage, you telling me you only have a handful of guards escorting the queen and dowager queen out and about in public?🤔

Daemon’s side eye I cannot😭😂-

Even Rhaenyra knows Helaena is innocent🖤

Anyone else’s Max suddenly run into an error at this point?

The fact that Daemon actually thinks it’s humorous😅

Godssssss this argument is painful but good, and it’s needed, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it💔

“You struck down a child.” The audible HURT in her words-

Baela has had a handful of scenes, if even that, and I already feel like we as the audience know who her character is and what she’s about right away. And her and Rhaenyra’s relationship dynamic is so honestly wholesome.

Whatever brownie points Aegon gained earlier are lost for him not having the balls to say even a WORD to Helaena, who ALSO lost a child, who, unlike him, had to go be paraded about the public for HIS political advantage.

Seeing Rhaenyra with her younger sons makes me seriously wonder what if🥺

Feeling guilty, Ser Crispy? Good.

REALLY? This b*tch really out here preaching about purity rn?! Gtfo now.

And NOW he’s pointing fingers?! Is this guy 35, or 5?!

“He’s murdered, on YOUR watch-“ is he dying soon? He’s dying soon, right? Honestly his death can’t come soon enough and I doubt it’ll even be this season-

Otto and Cole are probably the two most irredeemable characters on this whole show. Literally, team black or team green, I think just about every other person you can make an argument for. But these two have got nothing. Name me one thing, one expression of care for another that was not ultimately self serving for either of them in the end. I’ll wait.

“And Ser Harwin Strong?” BAELA KNOWS 🚨 BAELA KNOWS, and she doesn’t give AF, we stan🖤🖤🖤

This little relationship Aemond has going on is 🚩 🚩 🚩 where are this boy’s parents at-?! … Oh, wait.

“Where he does, he wishes to be his own master.” Rhaenys and Daemon just get each other. Their dynamic is so interesting.

“A week, or forever I do not know.” She sounds so unbothered😂😂😂

Uh oh Alicent, Rhaenyra may have just found a new bff👀 and it only took 16+ years

Seasmoke is that you?!?!?! Wait, what does this mean for Laenor though?🥲

Errors are STILL being made in the wake of Viserys’s death I see…

The dog’s reaction nooo😭😭😭

“The king is my grandson, and my grandson is a fool. He’s worse than a fool, he’s murdered innocent men!” You can say allll the foul stuff about Otto you want, and you’d be right. But he is not wrong in this moment. This reaction is valid, and in my opinion sound council. The delivery could be tailored to better fit Aegon’s current headspace, but Otto’s reaction is still valid here I feel.

Crazy how Aegon went from wanting the small folk’s approval to scoffing at the need for it.

“Ser Criston Cole has acted.” BOY if you knew HOW Ser Criston Cole has been acting-

Also crazy how fast Aegon went from being pissed with Cole being “in bed” at the time of Jaehaerys’s murder to praising him and putting him in a pedestal.

“It’s time the bitch queen paid the price.” Could Larys have his guys cut out HIS tongue now?! Please??? Literally no one but Aegon, who’s grieving, paranoid, and a little off the rails rn, wants to hear a damn thing from him. Not even his dowager queen booty call wants anything from him rn.

I think Otto’s gonna give himself a heart attack.

Yooooo, Otto realizing that Aegon is going to be waaaaaaay harder to control than Viserys ever was😭😂😂😂 I love it. I need more. This is wonderful.

“He made me king.” *Otto laughs.*

“You will regret this.” THAT actually may be the truest words Otto has ever spoken to anyone, any king, in his life.

Mysaria is already proving her loyalty, we love to see it🖤

Moral of the story is everyone, the Greens and the Blacks, need better guards like😅

If anything happens to Elinda-

Oooo, we’re doing this here and now?🥲

Ser Erryk died with more honor than Criston EVER had. And that is a hill I will die on myself.

Hell, even Arryk had more honor than Criston.

DAERON?!?!?!?!??!!?? LET’S F’ING GO

Oh, you can ask for the Tyrell’s to help, but something tells me you won’t get it👀

It’s honestly tragic as hell how Alicent was a victim of her father’s plots in her youth, and continues to be one as an adult. (I am in no way saying she has not made her own choices throughout her life, but I still stand by this statement.)

THE NERVE OF THIS MAN-

THE NERVE OF THIS WOMAN-

Okay, team black, team green, team small folk, idc- can we please all agree that everyone is anti-Criston Cole?

Aemond was not in this episode nearly enough for what happened in the last one.

[sothischickshe]

I was tagged by @bourbon-ontherocks (ty! 💛💛💛) to answer 20 questions for writers:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

21!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

278,245

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The only fandom I've ever published fic for is good girls

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Bringing down the neighbourhood

waiting for someone who needs me🧞

What a sight to see🧛🏻

(a) time to kill

yourself and others

I'm not sure the middle 3 would def be there were it not for the anon kudos bombing but w/e it's nice having some single chapter fics in the top 5 🤘

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! 🥺🥺🥺

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

A time to refrain (from embracing) methinks!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Both installments of the Are you afraid or is it true series are pretty fluffy. Maybe the second part (Through the park and by the tree) wins out? 🤔

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not generally. There was someone in the gg fandom leaving mean bookmark notes tho 🙄🗑️

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. What are the kinds? 👀

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't, and I don't imagine I would?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, not that I'm aware of. It could be interesting to see how it would go!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes actually, as kids me and a friend co-wrote a tortall 'verse crackfic.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Ooof. Maybe spuffy? That met me at a very formative time of my life, and I didn't expect it to become so canon (as opposed to like under a spell etc) and I think that experience really reshaped my brain 🤯🤯🤯 but fundamentally faves questions are immoral thus this is a very rude question.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I hope I'll finish all of them, and do intend to! I'm not sure I'll ever write the hilarious abortion fic tho.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Mm, a love of language/interesting prose. A love of brevity/somewhat chiselled sentences. A love of editing/willingness to improve. Interesting stories. Dialogue, tho brio get little bc theyre annoying. Characterisation!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Well I violently dislike plot. I don't feel super strong on creating original characters. I'm slow! I'd rather let things be confusing than beat readers over the head with info, which I think can be detrimental. I wouldnt say my descriptions are super strong, though I think they've improved a lil. Sometimes there's too much internal monologue at a go which breaks up the pacing of an eg dialogue scene (though again think that's improved somewhat). My love of planning and love of pantsing are at constant war lol, I get grumpiest abt stuff not having been established earlier and thus needing to state things which couldve been well demonstrated. Blocking, sometimes. I love short stories and oneshots but I'm apparently prone to writing long fics & continuing things into series which I consider a real weakness, lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm not against it in principle, I've read a lot of books which contain a lot of eg French or Spanish (often untranslated). We've got access to Google translate or w/e right? I do appreciate it when translations are provided bc lazy (and I think Ao3 does poss let you do hyperlinked superscript?). I feel the same way abt it in fic as in other media I think -- if you're happy for it to be a bonus to those that understand and everyone else needs to work to figure it out, I concur. If you think it needs to be understood, then providing translations (even if just as notes @ the end) makes sense.

But I also think pls don't write it via Google translate... If u don't speak the language/don't have someone who can help u translate it, don't write dodgy shite Spanish or w/e 🙈 not everything needs to be literal dialogue u can just say 'he explained to his grandmother abt the change in plans' or w/e I swear

...o wait I'm guessing the q meant me as a writer not reader 🤦 I don't think I've done much of it? Altho I do always seem to imply that every character speaks French, a language I don't really speak so who the hell knows 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published for: good girls. Wrote for hmmm I guess tortall books maybe? 🧓🤷🏼‍♀️

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Ooof, immoral question! Let's say upon your ignorance (and the gray despair) of your ugly life tho bc every time I remember I wrote a fic where rio & Dean swap bodies I giggle 😂 there's so much abt this fic which is very funny to specifically me teehee

Tagging🔖🔖🔖🔖🔖: @hereliesbb @nakedmonkey @nottonyharrison @inyoursheets @bensonstablers @blizabrth @delicatelingon & U right in the middle of your forehead if u wanna play 😚🎯

[wisehearts]

the words 'insatiable little bunwill' are burned into my brain now

this has been my breaking point. the fact that its also EASTER? and that i have barely celebrated easter beyond a chocolate egg here or there for years but am now remembering the magic of easter time, spring flowers, new beginnings, little animals being born, sweetness and the promise of summer to come??? why has this headcanon got me feeling broody and cosy af lol

im obsessed. why is bunwill sooooo cute??? how does mike cope? fr

please give us more, and also maybe some wolf!mike x bunwill, oh my actual goddddd. can we have an actual easter story?? omg is there bunwill fic???????????? helppp

i need wolfmike details like

you dont understand

dont make me go over to twitter, pleaseeeeeee

AAA this has ME hopping around sksjs he's the cutest!!! you get it! Im so happy to hear this HAHA

You bring up a good point - canon mike already finds canon will cute - how the hell does any mike deal with an even more adorable version? he's just so smitten with bunwill, you know in s4 when mike says "you didn't have to" to will and he smiles and huffs a laugh at the same time? that's human!mike @ bunwill #real

there is one bunwill fic I know of that my hc's gave a lovely person enough brainrot to write 💪 it is in first person pov and isn't completed yet but it's called piece of (carrot) cake (maybe if they got more kudos and comments they'd be reminded of interest for more 👀). a lot of my bunwill is sadly on twt but I definitely plan to post some of those here as I go!

I would never make you go over there though 🫶 Hmm I'd say wolf!mike is the most primal of all the bunwill partners, so the most dominant in the bedroom when he's really feeling it. compared to say fox!mike who I see as kind of cheekier so he gets sexually overwhelmed easier and it's cute 😋 wolf!mike is just so so loyal, obviously a protector and loves resting a hand on will's waist.

I think wolf!mike manhandles bunwill more, he noses at his more sensitive spots and it gets bunwill squirming. he growls when he feels good and it turns bunwill on - mike feeling good because of will's body always does. bunwill's good at quickening the pace and wolf!mike's grip just tightens around him because he didn't expect to be hit with the extra pleasure

wolf!mike has the biggest knot that makes bunwill feel SO full and bred he whinessss, his ears twitch and shake like crazy and then he sighs contentedly 🥰

Oh and if I can swing back to canon byler for a second... I'm sure somewhere over the years into their relationship mike has curled a finger under will's chin, given it a little scratch and called him an "insatiable little bunny" too......

[codename-adler]

AFTG Asks: 1, 4, 17 please <33

THANK YOUUUU 💖💖💖 >> AFTG Ask Game

1. Favorite character(s)

love this. hate this. how can i decide.

Canonically: Andrew, Jean, Kevin, Wymack, and Neil.

it’s important to me that Neil is there because apart from Katniss, i cannot remember a time when the MC was in my faves. kudos to you my good sir Josten, your boyish whimsy and sinister aura have bewitched me. there’s also something to be said about MCs fighting tooth and nail to survive and live one more day when you are yourself a walking depression episode of 10+ years… eh . Honorary mention to Catalina Alvarez for stealing my heart in TSC god knew she would not disappoint!

Fanon: Aaron my boyo, Seth mi princesita.

4. Favorite non-romantic / non-sexual relationship in AFTG?

because TSC is so fresh in my mind, immediate thoughts were: Wymack & Jean, Catalina & Jean. and because Jean is who i relate to more than other characters, it hits harder.

but then since i love Wymack to death and beyond, every interaction and bond he has with the kids is just… amazing. Andrew… Neil…

and the twins. my god the twins. that is an abyss that never ends and never leaves you. especially if you love Aaron i feel (i don’t believe in Andrew haters or neutrals) because then it’s stab wounds from both side of the Minyard legacy. see In this Gemini Weather on my blog or my ao3…

17. Canon divergence time! What would your fresh take on an aftg character be (i.e Raven Neil, Vixen Allison?)

MY TIME TO SHINE

- Trojan Andrew & Aaron (need the #jeanaaron / #jerejeanaaron + the Knox-Minyard rivalry!!!)

- Raven Seth & Trojan Seth bc i love him and he needs to live… so any other Seth Lived AU too ig

- Vixen Renee

- Trojan Neil would be fun for the train wreck it’d be trying to make that gremlin-ghoul play nice

- perhaps a good ol switcheroo: Vixen Aaron and Fox Katelyn 👀 Andrew remains as he is, as does everything else 👀

- Vixen Robin maybe? or Raven Robin??? get meself some Jean-Robin angst content… 💔

i could think about this for dayssssss i love this!!!

[missmaywemeetagain]

Pink Scarf - Part 19 (Elvis/Austin!Elvis x Reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Requested: kinda

(Read more here--Pink Scarf Series Masterlist!)

Prompt: You are part of Elvis Presley's coveted inner circle, and the currently-disgruntled wife of one of the members of Elvis' famous entourage, the Memphis Mafia. After Elvis' dynamite first performance in Vegas, you find yourself in deep water when his magnetism finally gets to you after all these years.  [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: References to sex. Continued ANGST. Medication/drug use/overdose mentions. Dub con mentions(sort of?). Cussing. Infidelity. Historical inaccuracies in the Vegas timeline. Priscilla doesn't exist in this timeline.  

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+, so minors Do NOT Interact)        ||     Word Count: 8.1k

A/N: Thank you for your patience, my beautiful lil mamas, Part 19 is finally here! We are back in Reader's headspace, and lordy, oh lordy, it's A LOT...just remember, I DID warn and promise y'all pain before a happy ending. And the end is coming soon. 😭 I know, babies, I know. 💖

If you so desire, you should now have the ability to tip my blog or different chapters in the story! Some of you have been asking about this, and of course, no one is obligated to do so! If you do choose to tip, thank you so much! I've never had anyone want to pay for my work before, so this is a big step towards my romance novelist dreams. 💜

I am so FREAKIN' GRATEFUL for every single one of you babies, honeys, and lil' mamas supporting me out there, YOU ARE EXTRAORDINARY! I didn't in a million years expect this kind of support and response for Pink Scarf, and your reactions, reblogs, messages, asks, and comments you've given me have been a blessing beyond expression. You all are the best community a writer could ask for! Thank you so much for your support. I am loving getting to know y'all better! I love every single reaction and comment and ask, and I'm sorry if I don't get back to them all as soon as I'd like but know that I love you all and am so excited to be making new friends! And a big "Hey, Y'all!" to our friends from Elvis Twitter, Elvis Discord, and Elvis Instagram--I see and appreciate you coming over to join us! 👀💋

If you feel so moved, please let me know what you think or how you're feeling (or send me asks)! I think I put everyone on the taglist who requested it, but please let me know if there are any issues or if I missed anyone. There seem to be some issues with tagging that I can't seem to fix, so please know I'm not leaving you out intentionally! Also, if you comment on a previous part that you want to be tagged, I might not always see it, so feel free to message me if I miss you!

I imagined this with Elvis in mind, but Austin!Elvis works here, too, whatever floats your boat! 

Apologies in advance if there are any grammatical errors or TW that I didn't catch. 

(I did start cross-posting Pink Scarf to my AO3 account, as well as my NEW Wattpad account. so if you are so inclined, you can check it out/support me over there with kudos and votes and whatnot!)

Silence.

For the first time in over a week, you aren’t bombarded with images of the past or worries for the future as your subconscious desperately tries to guide you places you are not ready to go to yet. As you stir awake, you feel somewhat rested, peaceful almost. Your eyes flutter open and even though the room is dim, you still squint and hiss at the light that pierces through your eyes and seems to rocket through your head like a spear. You can’t help but groan a little at the pain behind your eyes.

The room is not familiar, however, which sets you on edge, that peacefulness of good sleep draining from you quickly. Frantically, you try to puzzle out where you are and how you got here but thinking sends a wave of nausea through you that you can’t ignore. You groan again at the feeling and crack your eyes open the slightest bit.

A man, first crouched in the uncomfortable looking chair he’s perched in, sits up ramrod straight at your movements. Despite the dark circles around his eyes, he’s a vision to behold. You know without a doubt he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid eyes on, what with his high cheekbones, lusciously pouty lips, and chiseled jaw covered in what looks to be a day’s worth of dark stubble. Raven hair frames his face, thick sideburns curling at his ears and locks haphazard on his forehead. And those eyes, dear lord, those impossibly long, dark lashes rim his eyes. His eyes, which feel as deep and dark blue as the ocean itself, cut through the fog in your head, widening and looking over you with care and concern.

You know those soulful, familiar eyes anywhere.

Elvis.

You blink and the world starts to snap into focus. Through the pain and nausea, you take in your surroundings. The uncomfortable bed you’re in. The IV in your arm. The dreary paint on the walls. The smell of antiseptic.

The hospital. You are in the hospital.

This must be why Elvis looks positively distraught, his large hand now frantically grasping at yours on the bed. You swear he is shaking, steadied only once he touches you and a wave of relief falls over his handsome yet worried features.

“Y/n. Oh thank God, y/n,” he murmurs. “Are you okay? How do you feel? What do you remember?” he barrages you with questions that you aren’t sure you have the answers to yet, especially with the way your head is pounding so distractingly. For some reason, the whole scene suddenly strikes you as silly, what with the most famous man in the world looking at you so damn seriously. You can’t help yourself.

“Who…who are you?” you croak out quietly, your unused voice cracking.

The look on his face is priceless as he rolls through shock, terror, and dismay all at once. His face falls dramatically then and there is no way you can keep up the pretense because the little boy look that comes over him is just too much.

“Gotcha,” you chuckle, cracking a smile that suddenly makes your face feel like it’s on fire and making you regret your smile instantly.

“You little minx,” he growls, a relieved grin spreading over his face before he sees the pain on your face. “You’re hurtin’. Goddammit, I should’ve killed him…” he mutters heatedly under his breath.

It takes more than a moment to process what he is saying and connect that with the burning tightness of the left side of your face. You bring your hand up slowly, gingerly touching the unfamiliar swollen, hot flesh of your cheek. You can’t help but hiss at the painful sensation that runs over you when you do so.

You close your eyes, feeling Elvis’ heavy but comforting hand squeeze yours.

What in the hell happened?

Reaching back in your memory, you attempt to piece together why you are here, why you are in so much pain. Dread fills your heart as flashes of memory come at you:

Jack accosting you in the bathroom.

Losing his mind at seeing the hickies on your breast.

Him dragging you out and humiliating you in front of everyone.

Then…then…

Oh, god.

Jack did this. He hit you.

Your head falls back, and you cover your eyes with your free hand. A wave of shock, then a wave of deep sadness overcomes you. Hot tears spring to your eyes and spill down your cheeks and you don’t attempt to stop them. The salt of them stings the abrasions on your face.

How could he? How could he?

Sobs wrack your body, each one a pulse of pain through your head, shooting red-hot through you. You knew, you knew deep down it was over, but you never expected it to come to this. You never thought Jack had it in him to truly hurt you. But you are lying in a hospital bed, living proof that the man you once loved was truly gone.

And it feels devastating, yet also strangely relieving, in a way you could’ve never imagined.

“Oh, Satnin, baby. Oh, I’m so, so sorry,” Elvis whispers at you, clutching your hand, his concern evident but unsure.

The wave of devastation crashes over you, both the physical and psychic pain nearly unbearable as it throbs in your head. You feel utterly raw. Humiliated. Gutted. Guilty. Relieved. Furious.

The sudden image of slapping Jack’s face as he knelt bloody on the floor resonates through you, the sting still evident in your palm.

Elvis had almost killed Jack, blinded by a protective rage, you now remember. You’d stopped him.

Part of you wishes you hadn’t.

It all feels quite unreal yet simultaneously overwhelming, all these flashes of memory hitting you in rapid succession. And you know there are more troubling memories waiting in the wings, ready to knock you off your feet once again. You can sense them lingering at the edges of your mind, somehow closer than they have ever been but still just out of reach.

All at once you don’t feel strong enough to bear them.

Everybody knows, you suddenly realize. Your affair with Elvis was now out there for everyone to see, for everyone to judge. You open your tear-filled eyes to look at the beautiful man before you, the one you love so much it feels as though it might destroy you, because god knows you haven’t forgotten that. You cannot bring yourself to regret being with him, no matter if it led you to be here, broken and battered in a hospital bed in Las Vegas.

But something is not right. Something besides the obvious. And it’s right there, just out of view.

Your head hurts too much to dwell on it, however.

“I’m gonna take care of you baby,” Elvis finally says after what you realize is too many moments of silence. “Don’t you worry about a thing. I won’t let him hurt you ever again.”

The way he says it so softly and with such righteous conviction strikes something within you. The clasp of his hand on yours is almost too tight, the look on his face both filled with remorse and determination. You know what he says is true—he will not leave you to face this alone.

Despite this, the uncomfortable elephant in the room lingers: you would not be here if not for Elvis, and you both know it.

But with the pain in your body and the ache in your heart, that is not a mountain you can begin to climb yet. There are too many unanswered questions that you need to figure out and this is not the time or place. So, you let Elvis hold your hand with that mournful look in his churning eyes and you try to heal.

*

“Watch your step, watch your step!” Elvis supports you gingerly, his strong arm holding you at the waist, as if just walking will shatter you into a thousand pieces.

“E, I’m okay. I promise I can walk on my own. It’s just one step,” you say, trying to keep the annoyance out of your tone. He’s been hovering as much as possible for the past two days you’ve been under observation at the hospital, only leaving when absolutely necessary to do his two shows a night. He sent the hospital staff into a tizzy with demands for your care while still managing to be charming and effusive to all the employees in a way that only he could get away with.

You’re not sure that he’s slept in the past few days, as he seems obsessed with making sure you are alright. Your pleas for him to go back to the hotel and get some rest fell on deaf ears. Hopefully, now that you’ll be in the hotel, he will relax a little.

While your face is healing, it is still covered in a nasty bruise, which you are reminded of every time Elvis looks at you because the wince that passes over his features, while nearly imperceptible to others, is quite evident to you. It serves to remind you how you got here and how he seemingly thinks him controlling everything about your recovery is going to somehow put you back together and make everything how it was before.

But it’s not like it was before.

Not with the looks that the Mafia are giving you. You can sense their pity, their judgement, their fear. Because Elvis having a known affair with you threatens them all. What if it was their wife or girlfriend? What if Elvis turns on them the way he turned on Jack? Jack was their friend, too. It’s written all over their faces. And you can tell they’ve been put on best behavior because more than usual they defer to Elvis, and they are suddenly wildly uncomfortable around you, even though you’ve been part of the group for years.

You can’t help but feel like the king’s consort. The mistress. The usurper.

The only exceptions are Jerry and Sandy, of course. And Charlie, in his usual Charlie way, has been kind and endearing. But the rest are quiet. Too quiet.

You don’t know what’s happened to Jack. You also haven’t seen Red, though you can’t say you’re upset about it. The few times you tried to ask Elvis, he brushed you off, saying you didn’t need to worry about such things while you’re trying to recover.

All of it has you unsettled. You knew there would be consequences, of course you did, but you didn’t expect it to be this strange.

Thankfully, your headaches are becoming less frequent, but when they do come, they are intense and debilitating, and weirdly, each one brings a host of images and fractured memories that you must try to make sense of. The doctor said this should hopefully get better as your brain heals from the concussion. A full recovery, he said, but it might take some time. Elvis takes this to mean you need constant care, and honestly you don’t have the energy to argue with the man about it right now, so you let him escort you into his bedroom suite as though you are frail and fragile.

“There you go, Satnin, all set,” he says, fluffing the mountain of pillows behind you, and then he gently takes off each of your shoes. You lean back with a sigh, suddenly grateful for the comfort of his huge bed in his penthouse suite because that hospital bed was truly terrible.

“Maybe you wanna to get into your pajamas?” he suggests. “I had all your things brought up, but I also went ahead and bought you some things, since I know you hadn’t planned on being here this long, and—” he rambles. The look on his face is almost childlike in his need to please you, to take care of you. It is quite the adjustment after spending a week basking in his masculine sexual dominance.  You aren’t complaining at this change in him; in fact, it reminds you of when you first met, of those early years. It’s just giving you a bit of whiplash.

“It’s okay, honey, I’m fine for now,” you interrupt, trying to keep your tone light. Bringing your hand up, you pinch the bridge of your nose as another headache threatens. Overly attuned to you, Elvis grabs one of your feet and starts rubbing, using his strong hands to knead deep into the sole of your foot.

The hurts-so-good feeling has you groaning and your head falling back onto the pillows.

“That feel good, mama?” he drawls quietly.

All you can do is nod and hum in response. You’re certain if this had happened a few days ago, that statement, this action, would be laced with a fierce sexual energy. You imagine that it would last only a minute before he pounced and worked you into a state of pleasurable bliss. That latent desire is still there—you can sense it—but with everything that has happened, it takes a backseat to your pain.

This both saddens you and makes you feel grateful. You covet your sexual relationship with him, as it is the definitive thing you know he wants and needs from you. You know this for sure, and with your ever-present uncertainty about the rest of your relationship, it makes you feel off-kilter to not be able to share that with him. However, his commitment to being by your side despite the lack of sex, has been somewhat reassuring. You desperately hope it’s not just a sense of guilt that keeps him here with you.

You sigh, your eyes falling shut, and relish in the feel of his hands on you in such a comforting way as he treats one foot, then the other, to this intimate treatment. But he is uncharacteristically quiet.

He practically has you in a stupor by the time he finishes with the second foot, managing to stave off your impending headache. Opening your eyes, you catch him looking at you, those deep blues of his taking on a darker hue in the dim lighting. You can see the wheels turning, the way his hand flexes and releases over his tailored pants, how he worries his bottom lip with his teeth.

“What is it, E?” you ask gently, almost afraid it might spook him.

“I-I-I…can I hold you?” he stutters, changing tactics midway to get the sentence out, betraying his nerves.

“Of course, baby,” you respond quietly.

“I-I just don’t want to hurt you,” he says, crawling up the comforter to lie next to you. “Are ya sure you’re okay?”

“Yes,” you say, as he curls into you, his arm coming over you.

All at once, you are flooded with memory. Your teenage bedroom. Your single bed. Elvis nestling close into your side, his cheeks still salty with tears. The way your heart races at his proximity and the way his touch, though innocent, burns through you like wildfire. His breath warm on your neck, tickling your bare skin.

He shows up on your doorstep such a mess, coming to you, of all people. You don’t quite understand it. (You’re still not sure you understand it—why it’s you, of all people, at that point in his life, that he’d chosen to come to.)

You fall into caring for him so easily, like it is second nature to run your fingers through his hair and massage his back as he cries in your lap, even though you’ve never touched him like this, so intimately, before. When he asks to stay, those bedroom eyes of his begging, your heart leaps in a way you are ashamed of. Your entire body feels on fire, flustering you as you consider the implications, consider just how badly you do want him to stay, and if it’s worth it to see where this might go.

It only gets worse when you find him stripped down to his underwear, waiting for you innocently in your bedroom, a place no man has stayed before. Your heart stops in your chest at the sight of him sitting there, exhausted and emotionally spent. Before you take him into your bed, he’s so good in reassuring you he would never hurt you, that he won’t touch you like that. Of course, he wouldn’t; you know this. But your trepidation isn’t because you are afraid he’ll take advantage of you—it is because part of you wants him to.

The memory makes you blush furiously. Yet another important moment you had buried so deep that remembering it now makes it feel like it just happened.

After the initial tension of him being curled so close into you wanes, you relax and let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t go. Oh, how you relish in the softness of his skin against yours, the musky scent and heat of him surrounding you as he holds on to you through the night. You wake up multiple times, thinking you must be dreaming that Elvis is in your bed, but are pleasantly surprised to really find him there, his warm, lean, young body pressing into yours in various ways. The moonlight through the window lets you see just how innocently beautiful and vulnerable he is like this, like some kind of angel not of this world, his long lashes falling over his cheeks. You feel grateful to see him this way, tucking the moment away in your mind. Despite the rollercoaster of hormones coursing through you, you’ve never felt so safe before, not with Ted, not with any man.

Or felt so aroused. That terrified you, you think, as the wave of feeling crashes over you in the present. You want him with an intensity that shocks you to your core. But he is your friend, for god’s sake, and he’d come to you upset and trusted you to help him, and here you are, suddenly lusting after him like every other girl on the planet. Oh, yes, you are so very ashamed of yourself, for the dirty thoughts you’re thinking.

But, oh, how you imagine him waking to kiss you passionately, willing him to touch you everywhere, wanting him to run his long, calloused fingers up under your nightgown and into your panties. Thinking that, in an instant, he could easily slide between your legs, and you would let him. You’ll gladly give yourself to him right this minute if he wants you. You screw your eyes shut, trying unsuccessfully to block out the image of him slowly entering you, joining with you, rocking you into submission, into ecstasy.

Back then, those thoughts were more dangerous than anything, especially when the man in question was in your bed already, holding you close. It was a different time, and at nineteen, you were young and bound by propriety, and yet, in that moment, you hadn’t cared about that part.

But it is Elvis. Your dear friend. He doesn’t think of you that way. He’s on the brink of stardom and already has half the country fawning over him, with girlfriends in every town. You know this, logically. You know this, but for the first time, you allow yourself to think that maybe there is more to the two of you than just friendship. That maybe there is a reason he’d come to you in his hour of need.

A wave of heartache rolls through you as you recall that next morning. You blearily wake up from your fitfully aroused but somehow comforting slumber to him pulling you close, pressing the front of his body into the back of yours. The heat of him permeates through the thin cotton of your nightgown, which is quite a pleasing sensation in the cold of this late-winter morning. You sigh and wiggle back into him instinctually, before you can think too much on it, just needing to be closer to him. But then he jumps out of the bed in a flash, as if you were on fire, scurrying to clothe himself, and then he practically leaps out the window to get away from you.

He didn’t want you. Of course, he didn’t want you. He probably regrets the whole thing, with the way he leaves you lying there. He is Elvis Presley, after all. Your friend, but nothing more. You’d been foolish to think it anything more.

His abrupt absence leaves you cold, tears welling in your eyes, yearning for something you know you could never have from him (or so you’d thought, at the time). You pull the covers over your head, the scent of him on your sheets enveloping you. The grease he used in his hair left a stain on your pillow, but you don’t care in the slightest because it is something tangible, something that lets you know him holding you through the night had been real and not a dream.

Now it hits you suddenly that—oh, god—that was the day Jack had asked you out for the first time. You’d been sad all day, trying to push Elvis out of your mind and Jack had shown up at the diner, suddenly quite brazen in his attraction to you. While you weren’t entirely surprised, as the two of you had been dancing around each other for some time, the timing of it helped bring you out of your funk, reminding you that in the real world, a good man like Jack wanted you.

You’d quickly accepted because you liked Jack and there was no reason not to.

Elvis Presley was just your friend, after all.

Now you realize that in that short 24-hour period, the trajectory of your entire life changed. Maybe you’d fallen into Jack’s arms so quickly because Elvis’ rejection had upset you more than you wanted to admit. It had been easier and more realistic to date Jack, and it had taken your mind off the unwanted thoughts you had for Elvis.

Oh, no.

The intense discovery of this long-hidden memory and the emotions to go with it rocket through your skull with a shooting pain, causing you to hiss. Tears flood your eyes, from both the ache in your heart and the pain in your head.

“Baby, you okay? What can I do?” Elvis shoots his head up, noticing your distress, looking you over carefully.

You can’t explain, not now. “Bad headache,” you breathe out instead. “Can you get my medicine?” You didn’t want to take pain meds if you could help it, but in this moment, everything, pain and otherwise, is too overwhelming and you think maybe you just need some sleep.

So, you take the pill he gives you gratefully. You try not to think about how the way he looks at you now has that same boyish quality it had all those years ago when you’d taken him into your bed and into your arms, and he’d left you cold.

It’s okay, you think. He’s here now, taking care of me. He wants me now, even if he didn’t then.

And with that, you drift aimlessly away into welcome darkness.

*

Everything is fuzzy, the dull ache in your head muddling the flashes that are floating to the surface in your dreams.

You kiss Elvis’ forehead, the tears on his baby-faced cheeks, his pouting, full lips. You can taste the salt of his tears on your tongue.

Not Elvis now, you think, Elvis a long, long time ago.

But that doesn’t make sense. You didn’t kiss Elvis until two weeks ago.

He’s so sad, though, so alone. He needs you, he needs you, he needs you…

And you need him.

But it’s wrong, all wrong. And so right, all at once. Your body tingles through the ache in your head as you ever-so-gently press your lips to his. You’ve wondered for so long what he tastes like.

Soft and sweet, like marshmallows.

His bright blue eyes widen with shock.

“Y/n, baby, you don’t want this…” he whispers. The words echo and swirl around you.

He’s right, isn’t he? You can’t want this. You shouldn’t. Of course not…

You’re so angry, so sad, and he’s so beautiful.

Elvis. Your Elvis.

No, he’s not, he’s not, he’s not.

He belongs to no one. He belongs to the world.

Need pulses through you, a need so deep it brings you to your knees. It cuts through the pain in your head. It singes through your heart.

It’s unbearable.

It burns through you, from the inside out.

Those eyes, deep as the ocean, rimmed in black, plunder your soul. You ride the swell of the waves in them as they rise higher and higher and higher until they shatter underneath you.

The fall is blissful and terrifying, all at once, but Elvis is with you the whole way.

Free falling through the abyss, you are scared. It’s never-ending. You don’t know when you’ll hit bottom, and the anticipation of it runs like ice through your veins.

Guilt. Shame. That ache in your chest.

And then you hit bottom.

*

Your eyes pop open with a shuddering gasp. Gripping the sheets for dear life, you frantically try to piece out where you are, that you are not falling anymore.

Just a dream. Just a crazy, medication induced dream, you pray, seeing that you are in the darkened suite in Elvis’ penthouse.

But the unease remains, lurking more visibly now in the corners of your mind, trying to tell you something you don’t want to hear. Something you don’t want to see.

The door to the bedroom slowly opens and you jump, a hand flying over your chest in surprise. Elvis strides in quietly, clad in his white gi jumpsuit, sweat pouring over him. He must have just finished a show.

You had been asleep a while.

You are still amazed at how his presence fills a room, even when it’s just you here, even when there is no one to impress. He looks gorgeous and you know he’s riding the post-show high by the way his eyes sparkle and by the flush of his cheeks.

“You’re awake, baby. How’re ya feeling?” he asks, gliding over to you on those long legs of his.

You are still reeling from the dream. You shake your head, trying to clear that feeling of dread, of falling, and as he sits on the bed next to you, you are sucked into those oceanic eyes once again.

Your heart races.

“Are you okay?” He looks concerned, brushing your sweaty locks off your forehead, thumb grazing your cheek.

“Are you okay? he whispers, his thumb grazing your cheek. You sit still in his lap, saying nothing and can feel him begin to soften inside of you, the wetness of spent arousal leaking down your thighs under your dress…

The flash of memory hits you hard, because it was then, not now. Triggered by the same gesture, the same man, but it was a different time. He looked so young…

But that’s impossible. Impossible. The first time you had sex with Elvis was less than two weeks ago.

Your heart thunders in your chest because suddenly you don’t think that’s true.

You kiss Elvis’ forehead, kiss the tears on his baby-faced cheeks, and then, with a strange boldness, you kiss his pouting, full lips. You can taste the salt of his tears on your tongue.

His pants scratch at your bare thighs as you straddle his narrow hips. His tongue explores your mouth, sending searing heat through you. Boldly, you rock in his lap, feeling him grow underneath you.

You need him, oh, god, how you need him.

The flashes aren’t complete, but they are real. You are suddenly so sure that they are, and you don’t understand, not at all. You look at Elvis now, wild-eyed, silently seeking answers. How? How?

His long fingers are cold as they part your wet folds, and he pushes one, then another deep into your heat while his thumb massages that ever-sensitive bundle of nerves at the front. It stings at first, this surprising intrusion, but he’s gentle, letting you adjust around him, letting you decide when to move.

Your breath is coming fast now, and Elvis looks more than concerned.

“Satnin, what’s happenin’? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he says, eyes searching you.

You screw your eyes shut. This can’t be real. It can’t be.

You sink down on him slowly, the tightness of your canal stretching around his considerable size as you try to take him all in. It’s easier now, after he prepped you with his fingers, and the discomfort wanes quickly as you bottom out. He’s hitting places inside you that you didn’t know existed until this very moment.

Elvis looks utterly ethereal as you begin to ride him, his mouth open and pink, his freshly dyed raven hair falling in his eyes. Everything about him looks carved out by the gods, and his eyes drink you in in a way that strips you bare, right to the heart of you. He looks at you as though you hung the moon and the stars.

Those eyes are now looking at you in a panic.

He brings you to the brink easily and you crest the wave hard, your orgasm fracturing you into a thousand pieces as you fall. You’d never felt this way before, not with Ted, not with Jack, not even with yourself. The pleasure of it rips through you and he follows quickly, a warm, sticky heat pulsing deep as you cling to each other for dear life.

Oh. Oh god…

It was real. You know it now. You are more sure of it now than you’ve ever been.

Graceland, you realize suddenly, when he took you to see Graceland for the first time. That’s where it happened. Nineteen-fucking-fifty-seven.

Elvis and you had sex, a long, long time ago. And he kept it from you. Pretended it never even happened.

You push away from him and stagger off the bed in daze, flooded with so many emotions and sensations at once that you don’t know how to react. Dizzy, you sway a bit on your feet.

Flashes keep hitting you as you move. Waking in the hospital, not knowing how you’d gotten there. Elvis, worried at your bedside. The pills. The accidental overdose.

You think you might be sick.

“What the hell is happenin’? You’re scarin’ me. Talk to me, baby,” Elvis says from behind you. He feels so far away, but that deep seeded need to flee him is rolling through you and you walk unsteadily forward, though you aren’t sure exactly where you are trying to go.

Oh, he must have been so relieved when you didn’t remember anything about that night. That he didn’t have to take back what he’d—you’d—done. That it didn’t completely derail his friendship with you or Jack. That he got to keep being Elvis without any repercussions.

Twelve years. Over a decade built on lies and half-truths and pretending.

Tears are streaming down your burning cheeks now. You feel humiliated. Shocked at both yourself and at him. You’d cheated on Jack, with Elvis. It didn’t matter that Jack had cheated first. You’d had feelings for Elvis all the way back then, feelings you acted on in a moment of vulnerability for both of you. He’d been devastated about June, scared about his fame. You’d wanted to comfort him, but you had also wanted to prove to yourself that if a man like Elvis Presley could want you, then of course Jack should.

You’d thrown yourself at him. He didn’t stop you. And then he lied to you about it all.

If you’d have remembered…Christ, the repercussions would’ve been life altering.

Elvis grabs you then, in the present, his hot, long, ring-clad fingers circling your arm, pulling you back towards him.

And it is then that your anguish fully turns to anger. After everything that has happened these past two weeks, these past fourteen years…Suddenly, that sense of betrayal, your seeming lack of control of anything in your life, all the fear of the past, present, and future, pushes you to the brink. You feel done being at the mercy of the universe, done at being at the mercy of the lies and whims of men.

“Take your fucking hand off me, Elvis,” you hiss, venom in your glare.

You watch as his brilliant blue eyes widen in surprise, and with that, he releases you.

“Is this all a game to you?” you ask pointedly, voice shaking under the weight of your simmering fury.

“W-what?” he says, shaking his head. “Baby, I can’t emphasize enough that I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“You lied to me. You’ve been lying to me for years,” you throw at him. A fueled rage clouds your judgement. You are quickly becoming unhinged and near irrational, but you are unable to stop it, almost like you are possessed, out of your mind, and watching your unusual behavior from afar. It’s as though a part of you wants to blow all of this up and you are powerless to stop this destructive side of yourself.

Elvis throws his hands up in surrender and begins to turn away. “That concussion has you bein’ all crazy, honey. I don’t even know—”

“That day at Graceland, right before you bought it. When I accidentally took too many pills for my headache. You know the one, don’t you?” you interrupt scathingly.

He stops and looks back at you, that pretty brow furrowing, and you think you can sense his panic truly brewing now. “I-I-I thought ya didn’t remember nothin’ about that afternoon.”

“Oh, I didn’t.” You think now you do, but you have to be sure. “You were awfully upset that day because of June, weren’t you? Going on and on about how you’d never know if a women would truly love you. And, come to think of it, you never did tell me how it was that I fell asleep,” you add, turning the knife with both curiosity and fervor, glaring at him.

His eyes truly widen now, his pouty mouth popping open and then shuttering closed again, his pallor turning pale.

And there you have your answer. You are not supposed to know this. He’d told you about June all over again after you’d left the hospital because you hadn’t remembered him telling you at Graceland. But he definitely hadn’t told you again about his insecurity of not knowing if a woman would love him for who he really is.

It’s all true.

That realization is horrible and vindicating and almost relieving all at once. You weren’t wrong when that voice in your head was telling you he was keeping something important from you. You weren’t crazy. And you even think this isn’t all he’s been hiding, but you can’t go there now. It’s too heavy a punch to the gut, and all you see is red.

A frantic, small voice in your head tries to remind you that you should consider Elvis’ feelings about that day, how he was vulnerable and frightened when he couldn’t wake you, and that your concussion has you not in your right mind and missing pieces of all this, but your rage kicks those thoughts aside and you plow forward anyway. You have too many unanswered questions.

“We had sex, Elvis. In 1957! How could you…how dare you then pretend it never happened! How could you not tell me?!” you scream at him, in a way that is utterly unlike the passive and quiet woman you’d become over the years. The woman who had learned to cower instead of speaking up for herself. The stubbornness and fire from your youth flares, driving you forward recklessly. It hurts your head to do it, but you can’t help it.

Elvis just stands there, staring, silent, using that well-honed talent of his to make his beautiful, godlike face an unreadable mask. It kills you inside, but you wait, unwilling to let him off the hook. But he still does not speak.

“Did it even mean anything to you?” you then ask quietly, tears prickling your eyes again, “Or was I just another notch on your bedpost?”

He blinks slowly and presses his lips together, and your heart sinks because you can’t tell if being with him so intimately meant anything to him at all. You should be able to tell, but you can’t, not when he’s shutting you out like this. And that deepest fear being realized both destroys you and pisses you off even more.

Finally, Elvis breaks his silence, voice low and measured and too careful for him, like he’s reciting lines in a movie, “It wasn’t…You were high. Your judgement was impaired. I was mortified...” He trails off, looking away. Then he pauses, taking a deep breath before challenging you with his intense eyes, “And would tellin’ you have changed anythin’?”

You choke at that and shake your head as you turn away from him. The words linger in the air, and you are irate at them, at him. They whirl within you, stabbing you in their coldness. He was mortified by being with you. Good god. The wound of that cracks through you like ice shattering.

You know deep down you didn’t sleep with him because you were accidentally high. You are certain of it. It wasn’t just about getting back at Jack, or just about feeling attractive and desired. No, it was so much more than that. After remembering what you have, you know you’d given yourself to Elvis willingly, medication or no, doing something you’d sworn after Ted that you wouldn’t do again until marriage.

He presses you on this, this thing you can’t believe he’s asking. “Would it’ve? You were with Jack, you loved Jack. And I’d just gotten home and was leavin’ again just as fast. What would’ve it changed, y/n, other than to make things awkward between us and ruin our friendship? Other than to ruin what you had with Jack?” Elvis asks from behind you, his gravelly voice strained.

You’re shaking now, your whole being quaking with physical and emotional toil, another headache slamming down upon you. Yes, you’d loved Jack, you truly had. And you know you’ve fallen in love with Elvis these past few weeks. But all of this craziness—these revelations, these secrets, these memories—are finally confirming something your mind has been trying to tell you lately about all those years ago, something you suspected and feared, but didn’t want to admit:

You have been in love with Elvis since the beginning. You had loved him then just as you love him now. And if you had remembered that, if he’d wanted it, if he had asked you, at any point, you think would’ve dropped everything for him.

Even if it would’ve ruined you both.

A bile of panic rises in your throat because, besides the times you truly can’t remember because you’d literally been dying, there had been all those other moments throughout the years where you’d pushed down your love for him. Important pieces of your life that you’d just forgotten, sometimes right away, in order to spare yourself the pain of this realization, the pain of Elvis’ rejection.

Maybe it started in the diner when he comforted you after Ted broke your heart, or maybe it began even earlier because god knows you can’t trust yourself or your memory. In fact, you are quite sure that there are still things he’s keeping from you, pivotal things you still don’t remember and it’s maddening. But after the diner, it feels like every moment you repressed is a missing piece to the puzzle of your life and reminder of how everything has gone so completely wrong.

Oh, and isn’t it rich that you are laying into him about keeping this naughty little tryst from you when you’ve been conveniently forgetting all these crucial moments of your relationship over your lifetime, a logical voice in the back of your head hurls at you.

Fuck you, you throw back, dread seeping through you.

And now your deepest fears are confirmed—Elvis hadn’t wanted you, not like that. He was mortified by it, in fact. He had a taste of you in a moment of weakness, because he’s just a man after all, and got lucky when you didn’t remember. Thinking better of it, he kept it all to himself. All these years, he’d lied by omission. And for some goddamned reason, he’d swung back around to you after all this time, destroying your life as you knew it in the process.

You spin back around to face him. Nausea rolls in your stomach because, suddenly, you’re not sure you know the man in front of you at all.

“Fuck you, Elvis Presley. It would’ve changed everything,” you say vehemently, honestly, leveling him with your stare.

And it looks like you just slapped him by the way he recoils.

You can’t stop yourself from digging deeper, too angry to care, “But I’m sure that’s not what you wanted, since you were so quick to decide that I didn’t need to know, so fucking cocksure that you didn’t even deem to ask what I wanted. No, you just got laid and got lucky and moved right on to the next girl.”

“Th-that’s not—“ he sputters, those azure eyes a little frantic.

“Isn’t it, though, Elvis? Isn’t that exactly what happened? We fucked and you decided it was a bad idea, so you didn’t bother to tell me when I couldn’t remember myself. Who cares what I thought, right?! Then you went on with your life as though nothing happened.”

As if it hadn’t mattered at all, as though you hadn’t mattered enough to bother. You can’t bring yourself to say that part, though, as the icy pain of saying the rest out loud like this sends more tears pouring down your cheeks, despite your anger wanting to keep them at bay.

As if the rest isn’t bad enough, another thought hits you sideways, “My god, you even pushed Jack to marry me, didn’t you?” You look at him incredulously, remembering how Jack had joked about it after he’d proposed. The words ache through you as you say them, as you realize the implications of that. Yet another one of your deepest fears confirmed.

Elvis looks stricken as he backs up to the bed and sinks down on the edge, putting his head in his hands.

“I-I-I w-was no good for you,” he mumbles.

“You don’t get to decide that, Elvis! You took those choices away from me!” you cry at him.

You watch as he holds his tongue, as his body stiffens at your words. His jaw clenches and his breathing changes. You know the signs by now, but you don’t care. You don’t care that he’s getting ready to explode and that it’s you pushing him over the edge. You want him over the edge. You want him to care enough to be mad about it.

“And what? Did you finally decide after twelve years that maybe you did like my pussy after all, so you decided to come back for more?” you spit at him nastily, driving him right over the threshold.

“I was protecting you!” Elvis bellows, leaping to his feet, face red with anger. His eyes darken and flash in a way that might have caused you to pause before, but not today, not after this.

You don’t let up. “Protecting me from what exactly? A bad marriage? A man that doesn’t love me?” you laugh haughtily at the irony.

He doesn’t elaborate, just bites his tongue in frustration and glowers at you, pulling himself back.

Then, another sinking realization drags you under. “Good lord—you had your hands in my relationship with Jack every step of the way. From day fucking one. You pushed us onto each other, a-a-and then you took him away from me, over and over again. The women Jack ‘dated’…Jesus, that was when he went to Vegas to see you that first time, wasn’t it? Of course. I should’ve known that’s when he started fucking other women. Because of you,” you point at him, more fury boiling in your stomach as you ramble.

God, was it all lies and subterfuge? Every fucking thing in your life related to these men?

Elvis stands there, jaw gritted so hard he might crack his veneers, his hands fisted at his sides, his leg going a million miles an hour. But you don’t stop.

“And then you came back home to find me upset, pretended like you didn’t know why, and then you fucked me?” The memories come to you too quickly, too painfully, fractured moments flashing in your aching head, weaving back together what you’d lost for so long, fueling your pain, fueling you forward. “And that was just the beginning. You sucked Jack and me both into your world, then played with our lives because…why? Why, E?” you demand.

Still, he says nothing, eyes fierce and his body vibrating with energy, letting you continue your verbal assault.

Your heart is going so fast you fear it’s going to explode, but you continue anyway, knowing that this isn’t like you, that perhaps this isn’t truly what you want. I love him, don’t I? But you are so mad, so exhausted from feeling like a plaything in the lives of the men around you, that you can’t stop. They’ve treated you as if you have no agency of your own. As if you were nothing without them. And you are done.

You shake your head. “You screwed with our lives because you could. You and your fucking egomaniacal, insane, manipulative bullshit. Nobody can be happy unless the King is happy, right? What the fuck is wrong with you?” you hiss, beside yourself with anger at him, on what he’d done to your life. In this moment, your love for him is entirely consumed by your rage, as your addled and bruised brain tries to piece together just how screwed up this entire situation is.

Elvis roars then and sweeps everything off the nightstand, sending things shattering and flying to the floor. You do your best not to wince at the outburst, unwilling to let him shake you. Then, he looks at you, like a caught, caged beast, his chest heaving and eyes dangerous. But he isn’t blacked out, and you know it because you can see the gears working in his head. You can see that the emotion in his face is not anger alone. There is a deep pain there and it confuses you.

Dread settles into a knot in your stomach because suddenly you can’t shake that terrible feeling that you are still missing something vital here, something both Elvis and your traitorous brain are keeping from you, but your head is pounding and your blood is up and you can’t think straight.

You stand toe-to-toe, staring at each other, chests heaving in the heavy silence.

He breaks first, but with an almost frightening level of clarity that you don’t expect after his outburst. “Fine. Y-you w-w-wanna make me th-the-the villain in this story, then fine, I-I’m th-the fucking villain, honey. I-I-I always w-was,” he stutters wildly, cutting, his stormy eyes narrowing like a crocodile as he levels you with them.

He doesn’t deny any of it. He doesn’t even defend himself anymore.

You don’t know what to do with that.

All you know is you hurt. Everything aches, inside and out. You feel like an absolute fool. You are infuriated with him and maybe even more furious at yourself. Then, your heart breaks, sending a wave of sorrow flooding through your chest and down your limbs.

Everything with Jack was bad.

Somehow, this is worse.

It feels like your entire world has been pulled from underneath your feet. The devastation you felt about Jack feels like nothing now compared to Elvis’ betrayal, and the weight of both together is crushing you from all angles.

There is no escape. You can’t breathe.

Somehow, you’ve lost them both. Or maybe you never really had either of them to begin with.

You silly, stupid girl. I tried to warn you.

You manage to hold back the sob that threatens to break you.

Wordlessly, you nod, clench your fists, then turn and walk out.

Elvis doesn’t stop you.

*

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[thebroccolination]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to @itsmylifekay and @dimplesandfierceeyes for the tags!

How many works do you have on AO3?

204 👀

Aaand Until We Meet Again is the fandom I've written for most with almost half of those.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,036,647 words. \:D/ Which is wild because I write so many short things that I never think of myself as having written that much, but t'would seem writing little amounts in consistent bursts builds up to a lot over time.

What fandom(s) do you write for?

Mainly Thai BL right now, and pretty much the same three pairings in circulation. Sometimes I'll write for a shiny new series, but I consistently come back to WinTeam (Until We Meet Again/Between Us), KongArt (SOTUS), and KawiPi (Be My Favorite).

I've also written for some anime series (Boku no Hero Academia, Yuri on Ice, etc.), Chinese danmei (Guardian, MDZS, etc.), Jpop RPF, and a ton of other fandoms that preceded my Kiranokira account on AO3 (est. 2017).

What are your top five fics by kudos?

These aren't necessarily my best, I just posted them at a good time for a lot of eyes to fall on them.

If It's You | Yuri!!! on Ice | Yuuri/Viktor | Explicit | 16k words — Viktor and Yuuri pose for a sexy magazine.

An Event of Somewhat Clandestine Chaos | Módào Zǔshī | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian, Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan, Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui | Teen | 3.6k words — Jiang Yanli's son elopes with another boy.

Who Am I to You? | Until We Meet Again | Win/Team | Teen | 2k words — Team wakes up from minor surgery with a foggy memory and can't believe his luck when he finds out who he's dating.

Win the Friendly, Win the Deadly | Until We Meet Again | Win/Team | Teen | 2.3k words — Win's reputation of cool composure ends when someone messes with Team at a swim meet.

Home Again | Not Me | Sean/White, Black/Gram, Dan/Yok | Teen | 2k words — Another way Black's return could have happened.

More below (including gorgeous WinTeam fanart I commissioned and a YouTube podcast I guested on recently)!

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I try to do it as often as I can, but sometimes I get distracted, and then I feel terrible about responding late. Believe me, though, I read every one about four seconds after you send it and then spend between five minutes to five years in absolute bliss. I've actually started making a scrapbook of the comments that made me happy for emotionally rainy days.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Sooo, this isn't something on my AO3 account, but I once wrote a fic about a guy who died and he was making his rounds to visit all his friends (who couldn't see him). I couldn't end it completely miserably though, so I killed his boyfriend to reunite them! \o/

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I genuinely have no idea. Despite the horror show I just mentioned, the overwhelming majority of my fics have very happy endings. <3 I'M NICE TO MY CHARACTERS (eventually), DON'T BELIEVE THE RUMORS.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not that I can remember!

Do you write smut?

I sure do! In fact—

What’s your craziest crossover?

What excellent timing for this question. :D

MUSE | Until We Meet Again, SOTUS, Kiss the Series, My Engineer, Theory of Love, Ingredients, etc. | Win/Team, Kongphob/Arthit, Pete/Kao, Sun/Mork, Ram/King, etc. | Explicit | 143k words — Sex worker AU in a parallel futuristic universe where sex work is a decriminalized thing.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I sure have. More than once. Reposted to Wattpad. Was not jazzed.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Every time it happens I'm so excited to hear about the process. Most recently, @linlinlong translated MUSE into Russian and was lovely enough to explain multiple points where the languages clashed and where Russian actually benefited a moment better than English!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! @itsmylifekay has become my multifandom co-writer, as we've co-written WinTeam (1) (2), KongArt, and are soon to start writing a sequel to her incredible Witcher AU KawiPi fic together. :D Our writing styles mesh really well, and we keep each other going off enthusiasm and a similar love for tormenting characters who don't deserve it. <3

All time favorite ship?

WinTeam. It's not even a contest. WinTeam WinTeam WinTeam. <3

[gorgeous commissioned art by @questionartbox for my WinTeam fic "i see your face every time" where Team flies to London in secret to bring Win home. <3]

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I truly don't want to answer this because I think I could genuinely finish any of them in the right circumstances. I recently started working again on a fic in my drafts that I started back in 2021 and hadn't touched for three years, so y'know. All of them have potential to be finished!

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, humor, coming up with inventive metaphors/imagery. The third thing was a conscious thing I started doing at some point to keep myself interested in what I was writing. Every time I used a common metaphor/simile/comparison, I felt myself getting bored, so I tried to make things up that were just offbeat enough that they still made sense, and then I realized some of them were working better with the character's voice and the story and situation, etc.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Describing settings. I have that aphantasia thing where I can't really envision things. It takes a real effort to see things in my head, and even then, it's not a clear picture. Like if you take the classic "what do you see when you imagine an apple" question, some people see a tree filled with apples in an orchard. I see a red, vague shape of an apple on a black background. So any time I write, my default is emotion and the abstract. It takes a lot of effort to also build a set in the writing.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

It can be used effectively, and I use it myself when there's no proper English equivalent and it adds to the story. Like, in my first two or three Thai BL fics, I didn't use any foreign language words, but the more I understood the social hierarchy in Thailand and how much of an influence suffixes have in WinTeam's relationship, I started using them.

Which fandom was the first you wrote in?

Animorphs. \:D/ (Followed by CATS the Musical.)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Right now, I think it might be my KongArt fic "Life in Abundance",

Summary: Kongphob's mother has an agenda, and Kongphob can't dissuade her from it. Enter Kongphob's husband.

“She wants a grandchild,” Kongphob says gently. “She has four,” Arthit says. It’s a struggle to sound stern when Kongphob knows the pressure he likes and where he holds the most stress. “She wants a grandchild from me,” Kongphob clarifies. “Right, of course. You’re her favorite.”

With Gatekeeping Kawi as a very close second.

Both fics are about couples navigating their relationships with their parents. The KongArt one is about them trying to gently break it to Kongphob's mother that they don't want children, and the KawiPi one is Pisaeng literally gatekeeping Kawi from his estranged mother to protect him.

One of my favorite things about writing established relationships are all the issues you can explore that have nothing to do with infidelity or jealousy, and parents are a biiig part of that. The other thing is that I have a good relationship with my mother, and a very, very bad relationship with my father, so I have an extra interest in exploring various healthy and unhealthy parental relationships.

Aaaand that's it! This was fun! \:D/

Oh! And I was also a guest on Lovecast's podcast about fanfiction's role in fandom recently, if you'd like to hear me talk very fast and loud about why I love this stuff as much as I do. :')

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for tagging me @ewanmitchellcrumbs <3

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

I have 48!

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

416,288

3. what fandoms do you write for?

House of the Dragon & Evanverse (Trigger Point, High Life, Saltburn, WOF). Sometimes I write Daemon if I am feeling slutty.

4. top five fics by kudos

Consequences, Pearl of the Realm, If Looks Could Kill, No Pain, No Gain, A Stranger

5. do you respond to comments?

I didn't at the beginning but I do now!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

AHA, Consequences babyyyyy

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably These Tender Hearts Beat as One

8. do you get hate on fics?

I got tonnes on Consequences because I think people were angry at the direction I chose 😂

9. do you write smut?

I do, feels like nothing but sometimes 👀

10. craziest crossover?

I don't think I've done one tbh!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I had Consequences translated into Russian but I think it was given up on halfway 😂

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh boy have I 👀 We posting that fic one day @ewanmitchellcrumbs @bottlesandbarricades @em-writes-stuff-sometimes 😅

14. all time favorite ship?

I mean Aemond x Strong!niece never gets old does it

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I am currently working on an abandoned fic 👀 stay tuned

16. what are your writing strengths?

I realllllly don't like tooting my own horn so I'm 'bout to say the mildest shit. I think(?) I am good at setting a scene, letting the reader know what's going on and how the characters are feeling, yk

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

I think what I am struggling with at the moment, is I think my writing is too flowery, too over the top. Constructive critique is always welcome 😁

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Sure! I can't write HV for shit though

19. first fandom you wrote in?

Hetalia when I was like 14 or smth

20. favorite fic you've written?

How you gonna make me pick between my kids? I think my latest favourite though is It's Who We Have ❤

Tagging: @barbieaemond @adragonprinceswhore @randomdragonfires @humanpurposes @flowerandblood

[kneelbeforeyourdogbabylon]

Tag Game: AO3 and fic writing!

Tagged by @cheeseplants and @dbacklot99 💖💖

How many works do you have on ao3? 24

What's your total ao3 word count? 303,167 with big collabs! But without those, I clock in at 170,775. 👀

What fandoms do you write for? Good Omens currently, but have written in Stargate Atlantis, Firefly, and Battlestar Galactica as well as one classic film fic.

Top five fics by kudos:

Not including the big collabs, and all Good Omens (E, NSFW):

A Sixty In Nine Saves Time

Aziraphale reads the wrong book, uh oh! Feeling responsible (or maybe just titillated), Crowley tries to lend a hand.

Takedown / Reversal

After their near miss in 1941 with a bullet, Furfur, and Nazi zombies, Aziraphale and Crowley retire to the bookshop for a mellow evening of too much wine. Unfortunately, someone is wearing quite the saucy fedora, and someone else takes quite a fancy to it. Obviously wrestling and banging and angst must ensue. Bittersweet ending with a 1955 followup. (inspired by @gleafer arts!)

Shake Like Hell and Spell Success 

Set after S1/Armageddon. Newly smitten (I believe), Aziraphale tries to create the perfect first-time scenario but has difficulties. As usual, Crowley doesn’t know what’s going on until he does, and then he knocks it out of the park on his first swing, because, demon? There's lingerie involved.

Wooing Peaceably 

Sometime after the Second Coming, Crowley and Aziraphale are visiting Crete during olive picking season. A little bit of happiness (and smut) after too long. Olives olives olives and olive oil!

An Arrangement in the Dark 

England during Georgian/Regency time period. Crowley turns down Aziraphale’s offer of an Arrangement swap for a Northamptonshire holiday house party. Naturally Aziraphale turns up anyway to see what kind of especially Evil! wiles need thwarting.

Do you respond to comments? Absolutely! Like all of us I adore comments. Someone liking a fic I wrote enough to say so is such a great feeling.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Definitely Takedown / Reversal, although I tried to soften it with a follow-up. Not sure if that worked. 😆 Also Impersonal (Firefly, Inara/Zoe) is a bit angsty but hopeful.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I think a lot of my fics have pretty happy endings! Maybe It's the Edge of the World As We Know It?

Do you get hate on fics? Not yet...

Do you write smut? Yes ma’am

Craziest crossover: nothing super wild? Most GO fic features some kind of fun historical reference or person (without feeling like RPF to me since they’re usually long dead, but essentially…) @angelictroublemaker and I wrote a Firefly/SGA crossover and that was about as wild as I got.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge 👀

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! My first ever fic was cowritten with @angelictroublemaker and I’ve done more collabs within Good Omens fandom. My fave so far is a big ol project with @dbacklot99 and @sixbynine-da ❤️. The others:

Coming Home - A Choose Your Own Adventure Story

Interdimensional Leakage

Keeping it in the Vault (and its less-hairy counterpart)

All time favorite ship? I love Aziraphale/Crowley so much. I have lots of other favorite ships from fandoms I've read but not written in, though.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Probably one of my Human AU bits from the Guild Thursday sprints: Aziraphale as wedding planner/Crowley as floral designer, or Aziraphale as photography dabbler/Crowley as Some-Eldritch-Thing-Or-Other he (Az) starts capturing on film. And just typing these out makes me want to work on them now, so NEVER SAY NEVER.

What are your writing strengths? Description, grammar(ish), dialogue, smut (I hope. I like to write it and rewrite it at least).

What are your writing weaknesses? Description 😳 Also I have to really work on movement of plot (if I actually manage to have one, instead of events that happen for Purposes of Smut) and pacing.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? Perfect for Good Omens in my opinion. I like it overall.

First fandom you wrote in? I wrote a (disavowed) Mary Sue-insert fic for Star Trek Voyager in a notebook when I was a youngun. My first posted fic was for Battlestar Galactica.

Favorite fic you've written? I really like how To Ride a Journey on a Jade turned out, and also Sea Change. I also am loving working on Sins of Knowledge, although the size of it is intimidating to me.

And also whichever one I'm finishing up at the moment! Right now that's a Pride Exchange fic that I'll share (if the giftee is willing) this Saturday, and an angsty Doppelbanging fic that may or may not see light of day.

Tagging: @angelictroublemaker, @lemon-tart-221, @ghst-signal, @ladybracknellssherry, @demonsandpieohmy and anyone else who wants to play!

[thefreakandthehair]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @steddieas-shegoes like, forever ago and I keep forgetting.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 42! most are steddie with some criminal minds fics from over ten years ago buried deep.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 252,271

3. What fandoms do you write for? right now, just stranger things! I've been toying around with writing destiel again but if I did, it'd be anonymous. (after my entire portfolio was wiped from livejournal, I'm still in pain about it.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. and if I get burned, at least we were electrified.  2. i made this mess with love.  3. what you feel is what you are (and what you are is beautiful)  4. the answers are all inside of this.  5. Livin' On A Prayer 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yes! eventually! sometimes, it'll take me awhile because I just get backed up but I read them and smile and kick my feet, and even though it takes me a bit to reply, those comments are what keep me writing. <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? happy endings are guaranteed in this house, always. I'll never write an angsty ending-- canon hurts me enough. the most bittersweet ending though would have to be scar-crossed lovers. 

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? oooo, that's tough because they're all happy endings! but I think over the hills and far away because, by virtue of it being a long fic, the happy ending feels deserved. those two went through it to get to that ending which made it so satisfying to write!

8. Do you get hate on fics? I haven't, no, and I'm very grateful for that. but I'm also like, super liberal with the block function. we cultivate our spaces here, friends!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do, but only in the context of like, what else is happening in the fic. I just can't write pwp lmao, major kudos to everyone else who does it so well! I'm in awe of your talent perpetually.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I wrote a supernatural/charmed crossover au many, many years ago. but recently? kicks cracky supernatural/stranger things crossover au scrivener wip under the couch. nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not in this fandom!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? not that I know of, but that'd be super cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? not yet... but I have some plans. keep an eye out next year. 👀

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? steddie broke something in my brain, but destiel laid the path for it be broken to start with.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? liturgies & devotionals, unfortunately. or at least in its current existence in scrivener? it's a big undertaking but if I can make it less complicated, maybe it stands a chance.

16. What are your writing strengths? not once have I been able to answer this and feel comfortable with it, but I do really enjoy the omniscent third person point of view and have gotten compliments on it. and narrative writing, I like setting the scene and developing introspection.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? there are several but god, fucking dialogue! it's my kryptonite. that, and actually ending a story. context disease is so real.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? the only other language I've ever used is a snippet of Klingon, but I'd also feel comfortable using bits of French because I know a good bit of French. anything else would just feel super inauthentic because idk what the fuck I'm saying.

19. First fandom you wrote for? uh, it was around 2001 and it was for a fandom that I no longer associate with.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? to the surprise of no one: over the hills and far away <333 so much of me is in that fic and it was hugely healing.

no pressure tags: @withacapitalp @stevethehairington @steves-strapcollection @henderdads @patchworkgargoyle @inairbinad @steddieasitgoes @starrystevie @judasofsuburbia @fragilecapric0rnn @kkpwnall @fastcardotmp3 @penny00dreadful @cranberrymoons @catknives @hbyrde36 @cuoredimuschio @wormdebut @wynnyfryd @sidekick-hero @t-boyeddie @scarcrossdlvrs + anyone else who hasn't been tagged and wants to participate!

[devondespresso]

Writers 20 questions tag game!!

tagged by the beloved @eriquin 💕💗💖 i haven't been able to participate in a lot of tag games lately (as evident by this being at least a week late ahnsgdsynkd)(edit: its been way more than a week) but i still really really appreciate the tags!!

divider by @/saradika-graphics

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

7 !! I think i still need to put one up there but i haven't yet cause i wanna edit the ending a tad

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

10,746

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Thingssssss, and i think its fair to say the Steve Harrington fandom specifically gdnzngxngxgn

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sweet and Spicy (the one steddie drabble tdnydyndny), My Sunshine, I Can Only Hope Now, Never Again, and Mr. Crayola Henderson

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes absolutely!! its usually a lot of heart emojis and keyboard smashes mixed in with my actual response zgnzgbzgnzng

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

uhhh itd probably have to be Never Again still, i usually like to lean positive with my endings, that whole love-being-alive thing, so whenever i don't its usually because the focus is a different strong emotion that'd conflict with blatant positivity.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oo okay also hard to decide for the same reason, I'd say the ending that feels happiest is probably from either I Can Only Hope Now (the Claudia prompt) or Now That We're Alive because both go from sad to happy and hopeful for the future. My Sunshine ends on a good note but its less "aw yippee!" and more "AAAAAAAAAAAA". I like my drabbles (under 400 words) to end pretty fluffy so far, and stuff like Mr. Crayola Henderson stays a pretty consistent light and fun so I don't think the happy end hits as hard.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, thank god, not yet anyway

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nopeeee tho Never Again has an E and M version it's not exactly fun enough to be smut i don't think

10. Do you write crossovers?

also nope

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that im aware?? I'd be pretty pissed if it was but also like. is it doing well? is it popular? 👀

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that im aware but i give full permission if anyone wants to

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope, most ive done is bounce ideas or beta, but I'd be down to try it!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

i don't know if i have one?? just in general for stranger things i enjoy steve ships a lot. big fan of Vi and Caitlyn from Arcane but im not really in fandom for that show cause what would i change?? im very much a gen fic enjoyer and if i had to list all my fav platonic dynamics... we'd be here a while xgnzngzgn

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

oh irony my cruelest adversary. a few months ago i was happy and ignorant in my haven of only one active wip. Now there's a small handful, and unless i get possesed with the same emotions i was venting in it, i fear the short Robin-centric letter style thing won't be finished soon. its decent so far but there would be a good bit of editing trying to actually articulate the feeling in a realistic way plus fitting it to Robin's first-person writing style. I don't intend to drop it but lately it just calls to me the least, but that could change

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think its a strange mix of intuition and a technical understanding of writing that works really well for the way i think. Its very broad and basically has no rules, just a understanding of how my favorite stories work, how most writing rules are really trends that tend to work better and then you can dig deeper behind a lot of them to see the *why* behind it. that plus trusting the nagging feeling that something's off makes editing my most productive stage, i can vibe check the area and then start digging dgnxnhxngxng

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

god this changes every time i revisit this draft xumxhmxmxhm this time its probably character introspection. i love writing like a movie and having character action or dialogue or setting or symbols communicate things, but putting down what the characters thinking with similar tact is soooo harddddddd and especially in angst or emotion moments, i want my readers caught in the same thought process as the pov character, i want it to feel so real that even if they never experienced the situation the characters in and even if they know logically the characters wrong, they understand. and that unfortunately involves bypassing their stance as an outside perspective on the matter, which is uhhhhh very very hard xhmznhxhnxhm

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the intent, i think it works best when the author speaks the language themselves, and especially with stuff like asl it helps clarify the grammatic differences. I think if its a language the pov character isn't supposed to understand then "said something in x language" works better for universal immersion.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stranger things babeyyyyyy, i actually started writing the Steve Henderson au first, tho the first drafts of chapters are very different from current ones

20. Favorite fic you've written?

MY SUNSHINE!!!!!!! i am so open about my favouritism with that one, its the most contemplative and atmospheric and emotional and its short enough that i was spending time on every word, every line to make sure it felt right and contributed to the picture i wanted. they say its more achievable (compared to long fiction) to make a perfect short story and that's what My Sunshine feels like to me, the perfect little taste of themes I'm enjoying most in writing rn, specifically with the Steve Henderson au (my second favourite fic xgnxngxgn)

i forget how many ppl im supposed to tag so im gonna do 20, no pressure ofc!! @marvel-ous-m @acasualcrossfade @pearynice @imfinereallyy @tinytalkingtina

@klausinamarink @puppy-steve @queenie-ofthe-void @eyesofshinigami @stellarspecter

@dreamwatch @lightoftheseraph @withacapitalp @findafight @hbyrde36

@vegasol @carolperkinsexgirlfriend @lingeringmirth @momotonescreaming @sourw0lfs