#Kaiser the Disaster

[call-sign-shark]

The public, and by public I mean me 😂, want a play date between Kaiser and Cyril 🐕🐕. Destroying Tommy's garden

😂

Omg I died at your request. This was such a fantastic idea, Flor! Hope you'll enjoy some dog chaos 😂 I can't stop giggling when thinking about the moment Tommy will see it...

Summary: As you are waiting for Arthur in Tommy's garden, your afternoon takes an unexpected turn. In fact, Cyril and Kaiser decide to have a play date and it doesn't go well for the mansion's garden.

Words: 1.3k

Notes: This work is a part of Heaven in Your Eyes' universe, but you can obviously read it as a stand-alone.

If there was one thing you hated about your husband, it was his brother Thomas Shelby. That was why you decided to wait outside, in the mansion’s gargantuan garden, rather than accompany Arthur inside. Following the whole prison incident, he had himself become more distant from Thomas, even though the love and loyalty he felt toward his little brother kept him from sinking into pure hatred. Arthur reluctantly left you alone for a while in this potentially hostile environment, only doing so because of the giant hundred pounds dog that watching over you. For sure, Arthur knew that Kaiser would maim and shred any fool who would try to hurt you — you were more than safe when the dog was around. 

Here you were, comfortably sitting on a bench surrounded by a dizzying range of colorful flowers whose delicate scent was carried away with the soft spring breeze. Reading Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland for the hundredth time, you felt yourself transported to Wonderland’s garden by the words that were printed on the paper. A relaxed sigh escaped from your plump and glossed lips as the gentle warmth of sun rays caressed your porcelain skin. You were devouring Lewis Carroll’s story when, all of sudden, the loud bark of Kaiser snatched you from your bubble. As a gargantuan Cane Corso, Kaiser’s growls and howls tended to be so booming and low-tone they would make everyone’s quiver, even when the beast just wanted to play.

“What is it, Kaiser?” You asked the dog, closing the book and gently scratching the huge brute behind his cropped ear. Standing at attention, his Hazel eyes were staring far away at the distance. You frowned and looked in his direction, searching for the source of his agitation, “Oh fuck —“ The word fell from your mouth before you could even realize it, for what was catching Kaiser’s attention was the large silhouette of a man in a hat, a huge English mastiff walking beside him.  It did not take more than a quick look to recognize the infamous Alfie Solomons. You remained silent, one of your hands firmly closing around Kaiser’s collar to keep him close. To be honest, you mentally crossed your fingers for Alfie Solomons not to notice you for you wanted nothing from him. Not even a greeting. 

“Oh! SHALOM MRS. SHELBY!” Alfie’s voice boomed in the distance. Mission failed — the king of Camden Town not only had noticed you but was now heading to you, supporting his weight with a walking stick. You have heard from the Shelbys that his sciatica had become worse over time — not that you cared though, “Shalom.” He repeated, his piercing blue eyes staring at your aquamarine irises with unsettling insistence as he waited for you to greet him.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Solomons.” You gritted through your teeth, unable to hide the gleam of resentment that was burning in your dark pupils. 

“Here I finally meet her, Arfah Shelby’s wife and dearest treasure! The angel who fell from Shamayim only to get dicked balls deep by a foul-mouthed, whiskey-drunk, and rabid Peaky Blinders. Not that I want to disrespect dear Arfah, what a scary lad he can be when he’s angry.” Alfie took off his hat when he talked, probably in the hope of showing a bit of respect. Or maybe not, it was always so difficult to probe his attentions and thoughts, even for a witch like you, “You made him a believer tho, and I can understand why now that I’ve met you.” 

You bit your inner cheek so hard the metallic taste of blood exploded on your tongue. In case you doubted it you were now certain: you hated him. You were so annoyed by his presence that you did not notice Cyril and Kaiser sniffing each other, tail wagging in contempt. 

“Now that we are here, I’d like to give you my most sincere apologies for attempting to murder your husband. It was nothing personal, just some business formalities but thanks God this whole quarrel is behind us now! But know that your lover is one hell of a fucking bastard hard to kill. And God knew I did my best to—“ 

“Listen Alfie, for the sake of your weird alliance with Tommy we’re going to forget this accident, especially because I was not there at that time. But know that your apologies are not accepted. Pretty sure Mrs. Rose Solomons would dig her nails in Arthur’s chest to rip his heart out if he had tried to kill you. Consider yourself lucky I don’t. Only out of sheer respect for Rosie.” 

In the background, Cyril and Kaiser had started playfully jumping at each other, tongues hanging and butts wiggling. Quite a different mood than the one between Alfie and you. The Cane Corso rolled on the ground, his four paws up in the air as the Mastiff sniffed his belly. They seemed to have a hell of a fun moment.

“Bloody hell, woman, Tommy was damn right when he said you were Satan in the shape of an Angel. You’ve got claws just like me woman—“ 

“Goodbye, Mr. Solomons.” You cut him off, “Come on Kaiser.”  You said, processing to leave the place but you stopped when you realized your huge guardian had not followed you, which was unusual taking into account how obedient he was. 

“Well, well, would you look at that Mrs. Shelby! Seems like good Cyril and your dog get along pretty well. So well they don’t want to part, ey. You know I’m more than delighted by this new friendship because Cyril tends to feel lonely these days. He had a very great friend at Camden but I shot his owner — sad, sad story.”

“No, Kaiseeeeer.” You muttered to yourself, as you saw the two massive beasts chasing each other and barking playfully, their beady eyes glistening with excitement. Among all the friends Kaiser could have made, he chose Cyril. Not that you had something against that good boy, but it ultimately meant you had to stay near Alfie Solomons the whole time the animals were having fun -- And God knew the man talked too much, too fast, and was hard to follow. To be true, having a discussion with Solomons would always guarantee the apparition of an unpleasant headache. At first, you thought about forcing Kaiser to go, but he looked so happy you had not the heart to deprive him of his new furry brother, “Alright,” You finally resigned. Arms crossed, a moody pout plastered on your adorable angel face, you came back next to Alfie and kept your gaze fixed upon the dogs.

You both stayed there for a little while and surprisingly enough Alfie did not bother you that much. In fact, he was too busy looking at Cyril with a genuine sparkle of love in his eyes — for sure he had a close bond with his dog, as close as the one you shared with yours. Silence hovered above your heads until Cyril and Kaiser, delighted by the mansion’s vastness, ran to the most magnificent part of the garden to wrestle in it. The two adorable but massive beasts rolled in the flowers, their strong bodies crushing all of them and their jaws snatching the other plants.  Alfie and you opened your eyes wide and turned toward each other at the very same time, as you both realized that the dogs were wrecking Tommy’s garden. But when your eyes met, surprise faded away and a devilish smirk dawned on your lips.

“Well — that’s problematic, innit?” Alfie said, sarcasm coating his words, “We should stop them.” 

“Should we, though?” You replied.

Alfie took a last glance at the dogs, who were now ruining the only part of the garden that had been spared from their destructive paws.

“Naaah,” Alfie concluded.  

You snorted in amusement and shifted your focus back to the animals as Alfie did, for you were both like dogs with two tails at the simple fact of bothering Thomas Shelby. They said vengeance was a dish best served cold, but the truth was, for once, vengeance was a dish best served with mud and crushed flowers.

"Fuck Tommy," You said.

"Yeah, fuck Tommy."

✞ Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.

✞ Rose Solomons is @raincoffeeandfandoms ‘s OC

[toffiendfee]

The best thing about kaisagi is that it's just so embarrassing for both of them. kaiser wants to get into isagi's pants so badly that it makes him look pathetic and isagi has so many options to choose from but went for Emperor Shithead over there. like, honey, you could do so much better and you know it. everyone's judging you so hard

[lunarcloak]

Your analysis of the new bllk chapter is so good! I recently got through the manga and I never got the vibe that kaiser genuinely likes ness, so I honestly wasn't surprised when we found out that he basically manipulated him. I see a lot of people saying that kaiser doesn't "see" ness and he should just turn around if he wants "love". But kaiser doesn't want worship, he wants genuine love. Love isn't the same as blind worship and imo kaiser knows this and how different ness's emotions are. By love he means beyond just his football skills (what ness worships him for) so I never really shipped them tbh.

Thank you, I'm glad you liked my analysis!! Uhh honestly I think there's more to KaiNess than that. Primarily because, both of them are using the other to fulfill their own ideals and requirements of the world, right. Ness wanted someone who would show him the magic he wanted to see, and Kaiser wanted someone who would unquestionably pass to him. Their dynamic was built on one of mutual dependencies, but it sort of twists into toxicity the more you think about it.

Honestly, I think people kinda forget that Kaiser was so... Young? Like that man was Not manipulating like a professional or with any sort of expertise. He tried, sure, and it's terrible that he did, but I'm not really about to blame him for the decisions he made as a traumatised teenager. It sucks, for him and for Ness.

But uhhh it went from Ness being the one to draw out Kaiser's magic to Ness wanting to be the only person Kaiser looked at. You remember that panel somewhere after Manshine City match where Ness was so angry that "Kaiser is looking at someone other than me"? Yeah. That's twisted, of both of them really (that entire scene gives me the icks).

As for the whole "I want to be loved" thing, honestly for starters, Kaiser isn't looking at anyone on the actual field. He's focused on himself, as he should be, and he's not going to look at anyone else for a moment as he revels in his catharsis. Maybe next chapter he'll come back to himself. And honestly I don't think Kaiser sees Ness as someone who loves him too.

Viewing this from Kaiser's rose tinted lens, it reads as him seeing Ness as the midfielder to his striker. They're a killer duo when they're both in peak shape, but Kaiser doesn't think Ness cares for him off field. He's not hoping for someone to love the Michael Kaiser, Football Prodigy. He just wants someone who loves regular Michael. We do not actually know the full extent of Ness, and I have a feeling he's a lot more twisted, too. But we'll have to wait and see. But he definitely doesn't think Ness loves him the way he wants to be loved. This may change in the next chapter.

Tldr: Their relationship is toxic.

BUT. But.

I think it can get better, if done properly. If Ness is given some development of his own, and they're given some time to properly soak in their own progressions before they come back together, I think it can be beautiful. But it'll take time and work and I'm not sure how much time Kaneshiro wants to devote to that. We're still in the middle of a match— the next goal is likely Rin's, I doubt we'll see much more of BM's side of things for a little bit now. But I do think Ness will get something or the other before this match ends.

Anyways.

I'm not toootally negative on KaiNess, nor am I totally positive? I just think it's nuanced. It can work, but with a little tweaking. Personally, I never shipped it no, I'm a KaiSae enjoyer unfortunately.

[mochizuke-creates]

What if I actually posted my art of my Salubri Antitribu for real. XD

[n-fblog]

I'm so ready to see the rin-shidou-kaiser-isagi DISASTER that is PxG v BM... i hope they all hate kaiser mutually (jk jk)

[kaiijo]

CERTAINTIES — SHIDOU RYUSEI

pairing: shidou ryusei x gn! reader content: pro soccer player! shidou, pr manager! reader, shidou and kaiser’s behavior is a warning and of itself, shidou calls reader “sweetheart” and “sweets,” one suggestive joke notes: i <3 unhinged men

You’ve learned that there are very few certainties in this world. The trains are not always on time, your hair is not always how you want it to look, your coffee order is not always what you want it to be.

But if you can be certain of one thing, it’s that Shidou Ryusei is a walking PR nightmare.

Your colleagues all warned you about taking him on as a client. His reputation precedes him: he’s loud, generally pretty rude, and absolutely unpredictable; he had cycled through no less than five PR agents in just a month. One of his previous agents, who sits in the office besides yours, came back in tears one day, huffing and sniffling that she “can’t work with him anymore!” because “he’s an absolute maniac! A total psycho!”

But if the various first place trophies and medals that were displayed in your childhood home for spelling bees and baking contests and even a few sport competitions mean anything, it’s that you never back down from a challenge. And, not to be too self-congratulatory, but you’ve been in the job for three months now — the longest of any PR agent — and you’re fairly sure you’re not anywhere close to being fired or run off by Shidou.

You sit on the sidelines of the field, watching the practice match between PXG and Bastard München with heavy eyelids. You got very little sleep the past few days after having to mitigate a “Shidou Ryusei Disaster,” as your team has taken to calling whatever scandal Shidou stirred up. Your eyes slid shut for a few seconds before the shrill of the whistle indicating halftime break made you jump, pitching forward. You would have definitely eaten grass if the man sitting beside you, Harada Kaito, hadn’t grabbed your shoulder and pulled you back.

You and Kaito work at the same agency with Kaito representing the actual PR angel, Yukimiya Kenyu. You can’t say you’re close friends but you get along well and enjoy chatting with him when PXG played against Bastard. “You okay there?” he asks, brows furrowing in concern.

You sigh heavily, rubbing your eyes with the heels of your palms. “Yeah, I’m fine. Had to put out some fires in the last few days so it’s been kind of hectic.”

“Right,” he says with a nod. “You spun it well. Saying that Shidou’s outbursts are products of overwhelming passion for soccer that’s just a little misplaced sometimes is honestly genius. Might have to steal that from you one day.”

You snort, “Yeah, right, Yukimiya’s a saint. I’m sure you’ll never have to put out a statement like that.”

He chuckles, leaning back. “Probably.”

“You wanna go, Rat Tail?” Both you and Kaito whip your heads over to see Shidou toe to toe with Michael Kaiser of all people. Of all people, he has to choose Michael Kaiser to fuck with today. Kaito gives you a pitying look as you run a hand down your face, standing up and heading over to douse this blaze before it can turn into another Shidou Ryusei Disaster.

“I’ll squish you like the insect you are,” Kaiser bites back, mouth pulling into a vicious smile.

“How about I exterminate you like the rat you are?” And you already see the way Shidou shifts his weight, the way his eyes grow sharper and his gaze more wild, and you know you’re a millisecond away from pandemonium, broken bones, and a potential lawsuit.

“Shidou Ryusei, if you even think about it, I’m never making you yukhoe ever again!”

Kaiser and the small crowd of soccer players that had formed around him and Shidou look a little surprised to see you a few feet away, clearly unaware that you had been practically sprinting across the field to get to them. Shidou, on the other hand, looks like he expected it and there is something smug about his expression that makes your eyes narrow. “Ah!” he croons, only needing two strides of his long legs to reach you. “So you were paying attention to me!”

“What are you on about?” you huff, crossing your arms.

“Well, you were falling asleep on the job. And then you seemed a little preoccupied with your little boytoy over there.” His eyes slide over to Kaito, who’s checking something on his phone.

You roll your eyes. “We’re colleagues, Shidou, you’ve met Kaito before.”

“First name basis? Are you sure you’re just colleagues?” He throws a nasty grin at you but there’s a look in his eyes that doesn’t quite match the simper.

“Yes.”

“You don’t sneak into the conference room together for a little rendezvous?”

“No.”

Shidou tilts his head and rocks on his feet, balancing on his toes and leaning in close. His nose almost brushed yours and your face heats up to an unhealthy temperature. Then, he smirks and pokes your cheek. “You’re cute when you’re mad.”

You swat his hand away. “Shut up.”

“Aww, that’s not a very nice way to talk to your client.”

“It’s not very nice to go around physically assaulting people.”

“I beg to differ, sweetheart,” Shidou says with a wink. Your face burns more.

You massage your temples and instead turn to Michael Kaiser, suddenly acutely aware that the first strings of PXG and Bastard München are all witnessing your interaction. “I’m sorry about his behavior.”

Kaiser raises an eyebrow and you think he’s going to give you a hard time but he only walks over to you, brushing past Shidou, and offers you a charming smile. “I don’t blame you,” he says, placing a placating hand on your shoulder and glancing at Shidou derisively over his shoulder. He looks back at you. “Feral animals are hard to train. My suggestion is to get them a leash and muzzle.”

You frown at Kaiser and peer over his shoulder to look at Shidou, but his eyes are glued to the hand on your shoulder. “Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Shidou chuckles but there’s something flat and unsettling about his tone. It shifts into something colder. “And get your hand off them.”

“Oh?” Kaiser smirks. “I don’t see them asking me to.”

“They’re too nice to say it. I, on the other hand, have no qualms ripping it off.”

“‘Qualms,’ that’s a big word for a little insect.”

“That’s enough,” you say, finally stepping out of Kaiser’s grip. You check your watch; there’s still a little time in the halftime break. Your eyes zero in on Shidou and you give him a stern glare. “We’re going to have a talk. Come with me.”

You turn on your heel and you don’t need to look back to know that Shidou’s following. Kaiser calls after the two of you, “Aww, finally decide to obey like a good dog!”

And much to your chagrin and great embarrassment, Shidou fucking barks back.

You lead him into the hallway that lead from the locker room and you say, “You can’t just go around kicking your teammates, you’re going to get into real trouble one day!”

“Aww, you care that much about me?”

“It’s literally my job to care about your public image.”

“Don’t got breaking my heart like that.”

You roll your eyes and scowl. “I literally just cleaned up one of your messes, Shidou. I need you to take it down.”

Shidou studies you for a few moments, eyes roaming your face. You squirm a little under his scrutiny and then Shidou takes a step towards you. You instinctively move back a step. One step forward, one back. Forward, back.

You grunt a little when you hit the opposite wall, Shidou crowding you against the wall. He leans in close, mouth right next to your ear. “I’ll tone it down on one condition.”

Your heart is about to beat out of its chest. “What is it?”

He smiles slyly and purrs, “Let me take you out.”

You dare to meet his gaze, shocked by its intensity. Your reply is so quiet, like it’s meant just for Shidou to hear. “Okay.”

His eyebrows raise and he asks, “Really?”

Your traitorous mouth lifts into a soft smile. “Yeah.” And Shidou beams.

You’ve learned that there are very few certainties in this world. But if there’s one thing you’re very certain of, it’s that (for better or worse) Shidou Ryusei can make your heart race.

[crowhoonter]

ya ever think about how in the cape conventions that assumedly exist in the wormverse, they probably had to explicitly ban E88 cosplay like how a lot of real life cons have to ban Nazi shit? Who was the first chucklefuck to show up dressed up as Kaiser or Krieg? At that point they couldn't even hide behind the excuse of "its just a character bro" like no that's a real ass person. The worst couples costume ever being Nacht und Nebel.

Or imagine the other brand of edgelords going as Slaughterhouse 9 members. Maybe someone is tasteless enough to sell a Jack Slash Bodypillow. Just an absolute disaster in every regard.

Maybe Cape Conventions are a bad idea actually

[kiolvrrlv]

we’ll never last (pt. 2)

part 1

auhtfhd someone wanted part 2 so yah

warning(s): kaiser. angst, one curse word lmfao, cheating, idk what else

you laid on the bed. the bed that laid in the guest room of you and kaiser’s shared home; tears stung your eyes as they pathetically rolled down onto your soft pillow. after everything you both gone through, it disappeared like breath into the wind.

it hurt you. he hurt you. this relationship which once seemed like a fairytale turned into a disaster. you loved him, didn’t you? you tried your best, no? so what encouraged him to see another person behind your back?

you felt sick to your stomach. his actions were disgusting— he was disgusting. you hate him, so why are you sobbing so hard for him? why are you letting your emotions pour out for him?

you tossed and turned around the soft mattress until you decided to sit up. actions have consequences, yet he ignored that phrase as if it was a leaf on the ground. you handed him your heart, yet he was unable to hand you his. he deserves to feel the ache in his heart like you feel right now.

“(name), why are you still up at this hour?” michael asked as he went in the guest room you were staying in. why would he care? “don’t tell me you’re upset because of what i said earlier. you’re so sensitive.” he complained.

you laid there, not speaking a word to him. hell, you didn’t even make eye contact with him. “it was just a few people, it’s not that big of deal. stop being so fucking sensitive, (name).”

he sighed, “i’m sorry, i guess?” it definitely wasn’t sincere. “look,” he sat on the edge of the bed. “it was the heat of the moment, i couldn’t help myself. you can understand, right?” he reached out to grab your shoulder.

before he could place his hand down, you shifted away from him. he hesitated before pulling his hand back. he cheated on you; he shouldn’t feel what he’s feeling now. his heart shouldn’t ache like this. the way you ignored his touch— just hurt.

day after day, you wouldn’t speak to michael. you wouldn’t look at him, go near him, you wouldn’t even eat in the same room as him anymore. you grew distant and michael grew more and more frustrated. not at you, but at himself. frustrated at himself for feeling this heartbroken; frustrated that he craves your attention; so frustrated that he just wanted you to spare one glance at him, give him one second of your attention.

he shouldn’t feel this way, but it just hurt so bad. he regret going to other people behind your back because now you’re acting as if he doesn’t even exist anymore. he’d scroll through photos of you both from his phone, replaying the memory in his head, recalling how happy you were around him. he missed that. he missed you.

he felt lonely. a feeling that he has never felt before until now. a feeling he hates with all his guts. he wanted you back. he can no longer deny it anymore; he wanted you back in his life. he’ll even get on his knees and beg like a dog if that meant you’ll stay with him.

“..can we talk? please?” michael asked you. you gave him a glance and a small nod before looking away. that one glance made michael’s heart stop aching for a moment. “(name).. i’m sorry for cheating on you. it was wrong of me. i miss you; i need you in my life, so please. forgive me..?” he grabbed your hands and looked at you with a pleading expression.

“lets end this, michael.” those words felt like blade piercing through his chest. he looked horrified. “i’m not staying with you, we’re done.”

“but— (name), please. i need you— you’re all i want, i’m sorry i ever looked at other people, i’m sorry, so please. don’t leave me.” his bottom lip quivered as tears starting stinging his eyes.

you removed your hands from his grasp and took a step back, giving him one last look. “it’s final, we’re over. goodbye.” and with that, you left.

the salty liquid rolled down michael’s cheeks as he watched you leave. he wanted to stop you, but his legs refused to take him anywhere. he couldn’t speak as it felt like something was lodged in his throat.

he wanted you to stay, but he couldn’t bring himself to chase after you. his pride was probably to big. but despite that, the one thing he dreaded the most came true. he lost you for good.

graahh

[milaisreading]

Crossdresser!Yn AU after chapter 261:

CD!Yn: Can I sleep in Kunigami's room?

Noa: He just has one bed.

CD!Yn: I will sleep on the floor if I must, just get me away from whatever Chernobyl disaster they are *points at Kaiser and Ness*

Noa:????

[call-sign-shark]

I absolutely have to know Arthur's and tommys reaction to the dogs destroying the garden while they are just chilling tgt

Dear little shadow: You asked, I provide! 😁 Beware, Kaiser the disaster is back.

A Bone To Pick With It

Words: 1.4K

Notes: blurb related to this one shot. This work is a part of Heaven in Your Eyes' universe, but you can obviously read it as a stand-alone.

Arthur emptied his glass of whisky in one only mouthful, the alcohol leaving a pleasant burning sensation in its trail, “Well, if you have nothing more to tell me I’ll be off then, Tom.” Saying so, the oldest Shelby brother put back the glass on the varnished wooden table before getting up from the couch with a faint, slightly confident smile. And when he smiled, it struck Tommy: Arthur looked like a man who had finally found peace — such a thing he never thought his older brother was capable of. Yet, it had been evident from the moment he entered the mansion that his decision of leaving Birmingham and marrying you was the best thing he could have done for his well-being, no matter how painful it was for Tommy to admit it. Thomas Shelby and his never-ending neutral expression answered Arthur with a faint “hm” as his ice-cold turquoise eyes followed his movements. 

“Where is your wife, Arthur?” He inquired. The truth was the question had been burning his tongue for a while, but he did not want to sound like he really cared about you. Since you’ve been bailed out of prison, you had seen Tommy only once and it was during your wedding. Despite the raging hatred you felt for Tommy, you didn’t want to deprive Arthur of his little brother’s presence on such a significant day. Even less when taking into account he still wanted him to be his best man. 

Arthur raised one brow, “Erm. She’s waiting outside, eh.” 

“She should have waited inside. The air is fresher and Frances would have served her a drink.” His quiet voice retorted. But Arthur wasn’t fooled by his nice words, for Tommy’s tone remained empty of affection. He was just being cordial — maybe trying to make up for the whole prison thing.

“She said she wanted to read under a tree and play with Kaiser,” Arthur paused, his beautiful steel blue eyes looking at his feet for he hesitated to utter the following words, “And she still holds a grudge for what you did to us — which I perfectly understand. She has every right to feel so,” He paused, “They made her sleep on the ground during the first week like she was a bloody animal, y’ know.” 

“Arthur. She’s safe and sound now.” Tommy corrected.

“If you say so, Tom.” Arthur waved off the topic with a quick hand gesture for he really did not want to argue with Tom. More than anyone else he was aware of his little brother’s tendencies to never apologize, and it was not going to change. Moreover, they just had a pleasant moment together, and he wouldn’t want to ruin it. Tommy finally nodded, understanding his brother’s limits. 

“Well, I’ll see you to the door.” 

Thereby, the two brothers walked through the long corridors of Arrow House, talking about what they were planning to do for Christmas, or how Charles had started to learn violin. He even mentioned, to Arthur’s greatest surprise, how great your wedding has been. 

When they reached the door, Tommy was the one who opened it. With his eyes still focused on his brother, he did not immediately notice the chaos that was taking place in his garden. It was Arthur that saw it first and, as he did, his eyes widened with shock. 

Fuck, he thought.

“Oh. Fuck.” Alfie blurted out at the sight of Tommy’s frame, “Well, Mrs. Shelby, meeting you was a real pleasure. I hope you’ll come to Margate so that our two gentle beasts can play together again. I would be saddened to deprive Cyril of his new friend. In the meantime, I wish you well! Cyril?”  The huge bullmastiff looked at his master, blinked, and then kept scampering across the yard with Kaiser. At first, this sudden change in behavior left you slightly confused, but everything became clear when your mesmerizing eyes fell on Tommy and Arthur.

“If you thought you could leave and let me face the consequences alone, well, joke on you Alfie.”

“Pretty sure you’ve cast a spell upon my dog!” Alfie exclaimed.

You replied to the king of Camden Town with a mysterious smirk, whose beauty was embellished by the little spark of amusement that was shining bright in your ethereal eyes. In any case, you wouldn't have the time to answer properly for Tommy’s booming voice raged in the garden with the terrifying power of a lion’s roar.

“WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS THAT?!” His hoarse tone was quivering with both anger and utter shock. Now you were in trouble, you thought. His voice was still echoing in the wind when the two huge dogs stopped playing and looked at him. He went on, staring at you and Alfie with fury blazing in his sky-blue eyes, “I can’t believe it, eh. You let your beasts ruin my garden without batting an eye eh. Is that how you thank someone who invites you into his house?!” 

“Cm’on, Tommy, mate, we would be heartless creatures if we kept our dogs from playing together in this oh so-beautiful property of yours. A truly idyllic place for a play date uh! It’s nothing else than a few crushed flowers and holes. You should learn to chill — eh, maybe adopt a dog too. It would do good to your old rotten heart, y’know.” As he talked, Alfie patted his chest where his heart was.  

“Just a few crushed flowers, Thomas.” You reiterated, biting your lower lip to hold back the giggles that were threatening you to burst at any moment. 

“Fuck. Both of you.” The gangster turned to his own brother, “How many times I’ve told you to control your damn witch. The same applies to your fucking dog, now! Look at my fucking garden. Look at— Wait,” He leaned to his brother, “Are you laughing at me, Arthur?”

“N-No,” He snorted, an adorable pink shade has blossomed on his hollow cheeks. As for his eyes, they blurred with tears of hilarity. At this very moment, Arthur was trying hard to keep his composure but each time he glanced at Tommy’s face, which was contorted with disproportionate wrath compared to the dogs’ wrongdoing, he felt his self-control break down. The way Tommy was staring at him with his eyes squinted and his lips parted was too comical to remain impassive. Arthur let out a shaky sigh, still battling with the urge to laugh. Then, he crouched down to be at Kaiser’s level, “Oi Kaiser, ye big disaster, what did ye do eh? You’re a very mean boy, eh. Our Angel’s far too understanding with ye.” The Cane Corso’s ears perked up at his master’s gravel voice, causing his small beady eyes to look at him with attention, “Yeah I’m talking to ye, bloody rascal. Cm’here.” Kaiser wagged his tail in contentment, his back paws stomping the ground as he listened to Arthur, “Big boy’s happy eh?” It was enough for the mutt to rush toward his master with the speed of a cannonball and caused Arthur’s smile to vanish when he realized that a hundred pounds barking beast was about to plow into him with absolute zero intention of being gentle, “Oh fook no!” He exclaimed, panic spreading within his chest. Judging by how lean he was, he would not give much for his bones if the muscular dog bounced on him.

“OH MY GOD KAISER STOP!” You yelled at the dog when you saw him rushing toward your poor husband, but it was in vain. Kaiser was so excited at the idea of being pet by Arthur that it only made him run faster. Afraid of being smashed by the giant Cane Corso, Arthur, in all his survival instincts, moved behind Tommy to hide from the beast.

“Oh no,” You whispered, your frail hand covering your mouth.

“Oh yes,” Alfie smirked.

“DONT YOU—“ Tommy could not finish his sentence. Kaiser was running so fast that he did not get that Arthur had moved from the way until it was too late. That was why the giant dog jumped at Tommy and, doing so, tackled him with all his strength. Before anyone could do something, Kaiser shoved the infamous Peaky Blinders boss into a puddle of mud. Tommy hit the ground with a big thud, and mud splashed all over his clothes. But it did was not enough for Kaiser, who aggressively started to lick his face and shower him with doggie love.

At first, silence hovered above Arrow House’s garden as everyone was slowly realizing what had just happened.  

The confused look on Tommy’s usually placid face. The expensive suit ruined with fresh mud. Kaiser’s doing his best to cover Tommy’s with his sticky drool… Arthur, Alfie, and you burst into laughter at the very same time. 

“He likes you, Tom!” Arthur stated, tears running down his cheeks. He had to press his hands against his right side, convinced he would crack his ribs by dint of laughing, “Even if you seem to have a bone to pick with him, eh.” 

“Shut up, Arthur.” Tommy growled. His face was red with rage, yet you did not know if it was due to Kaiser or to the bad pun, “Shut up.” 

✞ Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.

[vampirenigh]

Hi!! I really liked your silent treatment writing💕💕 and I was wondering if you could do a version for Kaiser?

Hi. Sure. No problem. Glad you liked it. He is one of my favorite characters. I didn't read the entire manga yet and he isn't in the anime so I don't really know that much about him but I hope the fic got out ok.

And if you have any more ideas or requests just send them. That would make me very happy. And thank you for the request. You're the first to make one.🥳

Characters: Kaiser Michael

Summary: You ignore him because of something.

Warnings: some bad words.

This is part 2 to Silent Treatment. Link here for the first part.

Masterlist

This argument started because he was flirting whit some girls in front of you to get you worked up because he thought that you were cute when you got jealous. But it backfired because now he got a mad girlfriend instead of a jealous one.

When you two got back home you went directly to the bedroom to get some things in a bag and then headed out to your friends place to teach Kaiser a lesson. While all this happened he was taking a shower so he didn't know that you left so imagine the face he made when he saw that some of your things were gone and you didn't respond to his calls. He started to freak out for a moment because he thought that you broke up with him and that he fucked up real bad. But you wouldn't break up with him just for that right? Right? He started to make some excuses to get his mind off of you but all he thought about was the fact that he made you leave.

He tried to get some sleep but he just couldn't. So in the morning he called Ness desperately till he responded. But on the second he responded Kaiser didn't give him time to say something because he started his ramble. "Did Y/n call you last night? Because she left and I don't know where. It was my fault and now I think she left me!" After Ness was sure that he ended his ramble he was quick to realize that his friend is in some trouble if you didn't respond to him because from what he knows you always respond to the phone. Even if you're busy. Especially to Kaiser. Even if you were mad. "She didn't call me last night. But are you sure that she didn't leave a note or something? If not try calling her friends. Maybe she is there. If not call me again. I will try to call her myself even if she doesn't know me that well." "She didn't leave a note! I searched all night! If you don't believe me come and look yourself! " "Okay.. Calm down Kaiser. This isn't you. I will come over now to help you call her friends."

And then Ness left Kaiser with his thoughts. He wasn't the tipe to worry so much. What is wrong with him? He was the Emperor! But you are his Empress. He can't live without you. But even if he finds you whan will he say? Sorry I was an asshole and I can't live without you? That is not like him... Maybe flowers and a dinner? I thing that is good.

After some time Ness appeared at Kaiser's door and was very surprised to see the disaster that was in his house. Pillows thrown on the floor, the sink full and everything in the places that it shouldn't be. Yes. Kaiser started to turn the entire place upside down just because he couldn't find you. And when Ness saw Kaiser he couldn't believe his eyes. He with eyes puffy and dark from crying and insomnia and whit some clothes that looked like he wore them a week straight. That was very strange because he took care of himself like no one. That really started to worry him. And also amaze him because you are the only person who can make him be like this just from some hours of separation.

So Ness started to help Kaiser call all your friends because Kaiser almost started to scream at every single friend of yours. When they found you Kaiser was overjoyed but it didn't last for long before he was meet with your cold tone. "What do you want Kaiser?" We improved. You were talking to him now. That give him hope. "I want to talk to you. Can you come home? Or wait there. I'm coming to get you. Be there in 10." Then he closed the call, took his car keys and ran to the car leaving Ness with all the mess in the apartment.

When he got to you you wanted to still ignore him but seeing his disheveled state decided to do the opposite. The car ride was silent. None of you knew what to say but Kaiser stopped in your parking lot in front of the house and cuped your hands. "I'm sorry... I should've never done that... I was an idiot for treating you that way... And I don't care if you still want to ignore me or break up with me but please stay a little bit longer... I can't live without you... I think you can see that yourself. " You stopped him mid-sentenced whit a kiss. "I forgive you. Tha fact that you apologized is something very rare from the Emperor. " That made Kaiser smile. "But being serious now. I forgive you. But if you do that again I won't forgive you. Understood? " "Yes Empress. " And then he kissed your hand whit his eyes locking yours.

You knew that your relationship was far from perfect but it was good enough for you. Seeing Kaiser getting so worked up over you made you happy and made you see that he really cares about you even if he teases you a lot.

Bonus:

When you got in the apartment you were meet whit Ness on the couch and the whole apartment extremely clean. And a Ness who started to beg you to never leave Kaiser like this! To leave a note. Because Kaiser put the whole place upside down and he needed to clean it all by himself. You said sorry to him and hugged him action that made Kaiser extremely jealous and kicked Ness out and got you into the bedroom to cuddle.

[pomeness]

https://www.tumblr.com/pomeness/754095899427438592?source=share

I know I'm going to sound cliche but KAISAGI PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE has it been done already?!

Sorry for the late reply! I feel like Kaisagi has decent sex. Not super good (due to Kaiser being Kaiser) but neither a disaster.

[popponn]

blue lock — fics.

sae

another lazy day. sae was on the sofa, and you played with his hair.

a room of two, in three parts. roommate!au ; sae is one of a kind, indeed, even as a roommate.

weekend news, at night. sae really didn't know how to react when he watched you watching him on tv.

seagull t-shirt. according to rin, sae is insufferable whenever you get involved in anything. this includes the 'ugly seagull t-shirt you bought' topic too.

from the outsider's view. kaiser gets the misfortune of meeting sae and you during a simple trip to the convenience store.

from the roots, to the blooms. [series] [ongoing] in which, itoshi sae falls in love with you, someone who simply isn’t in love with him despite every admiration you hold for him. so, naturally, the answer to this problem is to throw out all the roots of those feelings in his lungs. of course, taking that decision was easier than seeing it through when you, as easy as always, put yourself next to him even closer.

chigiri

pretty boy. once upon a time, chigiri hyoma was a pretty boy who pines. so, of course, he wanted to confess.

kurona

lazy day. kurona ranze loves you even on a slow, lazy day.

rin

a sort of. you (could) always cry beside rin, it's as simple as that.

warm hands. rin is cold, but rin is warm.

the ins and outs. a (bit of) study on how rin might love.

over a sprain. rin tended your sprained leg. grumpily.

after a long while. rin came home, finally.

a boyfriend package. itoshi rin is good at soccer. itoshi rin is not good at jokes and cheering up, but for you, he tries anyway. (aka, you are stressed and rin is there.)

isagi

a long run. isagi yoichi changes a lot after blue lock and carries changes with him.

before sleeping. isagi yoichi wanted to bite you before going to sleep.

a fool in love. downbad!isagi yoichi is a sight to behold, in a lovely handsome disaster kind of way.

soulmate au blurb + scenario. soulmate au!isagi in which of course, he thinks he got lucky and didn't think he will fall, but falls hard anyway.

how one looks. a good love is not blind to your partner's, in this case yoichi's, horrible fashion sense.

late night. isagi was supposed to be sleeping. meanwhile, you were still working.

a bit and more. isagi is an egoist, no matter how sweet he is or tries to be for you.

listener bf. isagi likes to listen to you, a lot.

a seat beside you. as your seatmate, yoichi couldn't help but notice some things about you.

a cushion, two continents away. isagi wishes he could be hugging you right now.

coincidences and flickers. - [series] [ongoing] It was perhaps the way he unwaveringly displays his love to his passion that made your gaze landed upon him. Or maybe it was even less than that and it was simply because the two of you met at that party. Amidst a crowd of elegant dresses and suits, across the product of your craft that you had come to hate. Put it simply, Isagi Yoichi—who loves soccer very much—met you—who used to love painting very much. Then, it went somewhere from there.

nagi

unwilling audience. reo watched two pinning childhood friends, you and nagi.

dating consultations. nagi is a childhood friend and an unwilling dating consultant that still listen to your break up stories.

as classmates, it starts. nagi and you just happens to be classmates, most of the time.

mundane things and where you sit with them. nagi doesn't understand many things (but he does really, really like you.)

reo

a hug and some words. sometimes being comforted means having mikage reo as a boyfriend and hugging him.

a duck and a prince. a story about the oblivous you, the princely reo, and a snowy day.

bachira

bring your boyfriend to work day. you forgot something!!! so he will bring it for you! (kind of.)

aryu

hair and lovers. even if you love him, his hair is a bit too much sometimes.

[maochira]

Good day! ^*^

I'm an anon who asked you about boys simping for assistants. Thank you so much for your work! I really applicate that someone writes my little requests for me and I enjoy it a lot! Your writing makes me happy every day and makes my day better! You're literally one of my favorites Bllk writers! I love and adore your blog a lot, especially your assistants series. Please, stay safe and happy~

Can I ask you for some soft general headcanons about Neo egoist assistants? I just want to read part 2 how Manshine and Bastsrds simping for their assistant(s). Maybe some headcanons who is more likely to fall in love with a manager.

Have a great day!~ I LOVE YOU AND YOUR BLOG SO MUCH OMG!!!

With lots of love,

Garden.

Ahh thank you so so much!! You're so sweet!! I only write for assistants tho and nothing for managers, so yeah UHHH anyways!!

Requests open! - NEL assistants masterlist

Manshine City and Bastard München boys simping!

Tags: gn!reader, silly soft stuff

Series synopsis: you, Claire (@deerangle3) and Mao (me) are assistants in the Neo Egoist League

(A/N: like in the PxG team simping headcanons, my simps are only platonic because I'm a lesbian!!)

Manshine City

Your simps: Nagi, Reo, Chigiri

Mao's (platonic) simp: Junichi (older Wanima brother)

Nagi always asks you for help with the most minor things. He just wants more chances to be closer to you. He always makes sure to properly thank you or even apologizes for making you do extra work. And even if it's things he could do all by himself, he can't help but ask you to do them.

Reo asks for your help very rarely because he knows how much work you do for Nagi. But he loves it when you spend time with the team after your working hours. Reo likes to get your attention only on him instead of any other team members. Besides Nagi, you're his favourite person in the entirety of Blue Lock and he makes sure you know that.

Chigiri thanks you for your work every time he sees you. He wants you to know how much he appreciates you and everything you do. You're always unsure if he's simply thanking and complimenting you, or if there's more behind it. There definitely is more behind it, though. Sometimes his tone gets a bit flirty.

Junichi and Mao are seen together a weird amount of times, and you always wonder how they even became friends. But maybe it's because she's the only one who properly understands him even when he doesn't talk.

Bastard München

Your simps: Kaiser, Isagi, Ness, Hiori

Claire's simp: Yukimiya

Mao's (platonic) simps: Raichi, Gagamaru, Kurona, Birkenstock (A/N: I love Birkenstock SO MUCH I finally have a proper chance to include him somewhere HAH)

Can you even imagine the chaos of having both Kaiser and Isagi simping for you? They're either constantly fighting for your attention or yelling at each other for "giving you too much work." It's a fun disaster to watch, though. Also cute at the same time because even though they're insulting each other, they're saying very sweet things about you.

Ness often joins Kaiser when he's argumenting with Isagi, but besides that, he's very sweet towards you. Rarely asks for help, but if he does it's for Kaiser because when it comes to easy things he's too stubborn to ask by himself. Ness is also a joy to talk to outside of your working hours! He's a very good listener and loves listening to you talk about anything you want.

Hiori doesn't need your assistance often, but he's always looking forward to spending time with you after your working hours. He appreciates your work a lot, but he wants to get to know you closer as a person. He absolutely loves it when you tell stories about your life outside of Blue Lock because it takes his mind off of soccer for a bit.

Claire won Yukimiya's heart after the first week and now they're almost inseparable. Yukimiya almost never asks for your or Mao's assistance, only for Claire's. But him asking for help is fairly rare anyways because he doesn't want to be a bother by putting extra work on any of you. Although, he asks a lot of questions to get to know you better.

Raichi became Mao's bodyguard after Kaiser insulted her for "being bad at her work" when she didn't immediately run to him. And now, she's not getting rif of Raichi anymore, especially if Kaiser is near. She's not complaining about it, tho.

Gagamaru got interested in being friends with Mao because she's so small and it reminded him of Naruhaya. He likes to tease her about her height and she often climbs on his back or even shoulders so he has to carry her around. He goes along with it, but Noa isn't a fan of it if it's happening during her working hours.

Kurona can't explain why, but he loves having Mao around. Sometimes he braids a part of her hair like his own so their hairstyles match! Sometimes, they kinda come off like siblings.

Birkenstock and Mao becoming close friends was a surprise to everyone. He doesn't exactly participate in any group hangouts, and in general, he's more of a silent guy. But somehow, Mao got his interest and she's always happy to assist if needed.

[paxarsenal]

Spy x Family AU

I still need to catch up with the series, but I’m enjoying it so far! I also thought it would be fun to implement some of my mutuals’ Creepypasta/Slenderverse OCs into the genre.

Might rewrite some things while I sort this out!

~~~

Overview

Between indeterminate nations, connections remain unstable and war is likely. To avoid conflicts, both states escorted secret services to deal with such difficulties. Such organizations are known as Proxies & The Red Room.

Proxies (Der Größemann)

Serves the West Nation and attends to the matters of the East. It's at its all-time high stakes for disaster with the East Nation.

The Red Room (Zalgo; Scarlet Kaiser)

Serves the War-torn East Nation; status: unknown...

~~~

Red Spider

Former hitman for hire, the Red Spider was an experiment gone wrong. She hates both nations for what they did to her which eventually led to a life in the shadows. However, she was brought back into the Zalgo workforce for... reasons. She unknowingly works with ████, serving as his "wife/co-partner" and mother/caretaker to Pip Pip.

@the-catcake

████

Alias unknown... He is a spy who works in secrecy. Not even his closest coworkers know his true identity or background. He unknowingly works with Red Spider, serving as her "husband/co-partner" and father/caretaker to Pip Pip.

@paxarsenal

Doll

Doll is one of Der Größemann's closest informants, secretaries, and main coordinator. She's the only person allowed to attend to the director. She must relay information to other coordinators and agents.

@the-slender-doll

Magico

His undercover occupation is a detective. He will use this ability to erase and rewrite evidence to secure his identity and group. Magico worked in the field for many decades and assisted younger spies and assassins to work on their training. He lost his pregnant wife a long time ago when serving the Proxies.

@realmysticalsorcerymystic

Nobody

A young, charming yet deadly assassin. He gets his code name from his secrecy and anonymity. Despite his age, he’s skilled in combat and agility. He brings his sister Crystal, close to his heart as he serves his mission to help citizens. He works closely with Magico, a former spy and current public agent.

@ivydarkrose

Pip Pip

The key to world peace! Very cute but might get into a lot of trouble.

@plaguemasterofficial

Seed Eater

Reduced to dog... Enhanced sight, hearing, smell... It can be very hungry for meat. It is the family "dog" to Pip pip.

[captaindeadpoet]

Sometimes I think so hard about how Lewis grew up lonely. His parents loved him, but were always gone. They’re heroes, but he lost them early. The house is always empty, not because of neglect, but because of obligations.

But I wonder if Lewis was lonely in other places, too? He’s a kid obsessed with a superhero, as most kids are, but his action figure is a comfort item that he carries everywhere. He talks to it more than his classmates, because Spar Kaiser understand him better than anyone else. The other kids make fun of him for always sitting alone and talking to his toys.

I think maybe he was always moving, too, not just cities and states but also his hands. He flaps and shakes his hands and flicks and wiggles his fingers, often in front of his eyes, because it makes him feel safe. It makes him comfortable. The other kids fine it weird and freaky, and they make fun of it, of him.

And then there’s the talking. Lewis has trouble communicating, because he gets so excited about the strangest things. Spar Kaiser is one thing, but cemetery architecture. Surgical procedures. Snakes and big cats and spiders and natural disasters. He’s immediately branded a weird kid.

And then there’s everything else. The way loud noises make him cover his ears and rock back and forth. The way touch sometimes makes him upset. The way being a minute late makes him melt down. The way too much at once makes him shut down. His parents understand when they’re there, but the other kids and his teachers struggle. He’s smart, they say. He’s a big helper. But he can’t make friends. He struggles to work in a team.

And as he gets older, he learns how to change to fit a situation. He finds strategies to socialize right, and finds he has a knack for leadership.

But when he’s alone, he needs to decompress, and he moves his hands and makes noise. And he’s not sure how to share that part of himself with anyone. So he’s always feeling lonely.