#Kell is mentioned

[buttercup-barf]

Those are some morbid songs these kids are singing.

[verdantmeadows]

So, apparently, there is a new Carrie movie in the works, and they plan to cast a skinny person as Carrie White, who is a fat protagonist in the book, that they made skinny in its popular adaptation. I can understand that it's a dated movie, but standards should be higher, and fat characters need to stop being made into skinny characters. The story is not the same with Carrie White being skinny. She is a fat character, and her being fat is important. I am extremely disappointed. Let fat characters exist and let them be played by fat people. Stop taking their fatness out of their stories and out of their appearance. I sincerely hope that this turns out not to be true and that an actual fat person is cast as the character and that Carrie's fatness is reintroduced to the story.

[antaripirate]

this is the exact scene from ACOL just before they board The Ghost, actually

[galamerapple]

if i had a nickel for every time a guy named kel(l) is both defined and trapped by his loyalty to the crown prince, i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice

[purplebass]

I'm writing this adsom bar au that's antari trio heavy and there are exchanges between Kell and Alucard and Lila and Holland too. Their dynamic is so funny to write because Alucard tries to rile Kell up but in a "I'm joking don't take me seriously" but Kell takes it personally and amuses Alucard. Holland and Lila are more subtle because Holland is chill and has a dry humor and Lila still doesn't trust him so he questions her choices and she challenges him "let's see who is better then." This is an au... so Kell and Holland are actually friends and Lila and Holland try to tolerate each other without destroying things and low key Lila tries to be civil with Holland for Kell

[kellyellys-blog]

Bored so here’s song quotes as Sbg lines

Tw: drugs, shooting people, fighting,

The gang makes it a habit to go to the vape store with Aiden to the point where the staff remembers them

Staff: *looking at Tyler* “I overheard that he was 16 with a fake id and a nose ring…”

Aiden makes it a habit to mock people who call him a psycho or crazy

Aiden: “psycho aah! Psycho bleh!”

If Taylor was dating Barron in this au I can definitely see her getting pissed when girls purposely flirt with him when they know he’s with her.

Girl: “you wanna fight or something then?” *she laughs*

Her friends laugh with her

Taylor: “you can run up on me I ain’t gon stop you.” *She laughs* “I ain’t fighting shit bitch I’ll pop you”

The girls end up backing off after that cause…yeah…

When Ashlyn had friends she would always say I told ya so or I saw that coming from a mile away

Girl: “he broke up with me guys!!”

Everyone’s comforting her and Ashlyn is too but says something kind of harsh

Ashlyn: “that’s what you get when you let your heart win”

The girls end up stop being friends with ashlyn after that.

Ashlyn used to think Aiden was being sarcastic because she knew he was on something whenever he tried to confess..

Ashlyn: “Aiden what is it?” *she lets out a long sigh*

Aiden: “you know I got feelings for you..”

Ashlyn: “that’s the drugs talking…”

Aiden: “put that on my family you’re all I need…”

Ashlyn: “that’s the drugs talking”

Aiden: “I can’t see myself without you ash”

Ashlyn: “that’s the drugs talking…”

She found out he meant it a few weeks later and was kinda happy he meant it…

Ben just outright plays Jenny from the block on his guitar ironically since he’s living with his rich family members now and not in a small house anymore

The group is arguing over if Aiden is spoiled or not.

Tyler: “you can literally afford weed..”

Logan: “and you have a bunch of designer clothing”

Five seconds later they hear Ben strumming the strings on his guitar and realize it’s Jenny from the block… Ashlyn was the first to laugh then Taylor. They ended up laughing about it and deciding to just watch a movie.

Songs: Kilby girl, psycho teddy, pop you (stunna girl), that’s what you get, drugs talkin, and Jenny from the block

[barbieaiden]

2. [Doorbell rings]

3. Kell: Sam. Fuck. Uh. I totally forgot you were coming. Sorry about the mess, I was going to clean.

Sam: Were you sleeping?

Kell: Yeah, but I should've probably woken up, like, 9 hours ago so it's a good thing you came.

4. Sam: I can help you clean.

Kell: Yeah, no, that's not happening, I would die from embarrassment. Sorry if it's smokey in here, I don't want to give you an asthma attack.

Sam: No, it's fine.

5. Sam: Are you okay?

Kell: Not at all.

Sam: Did something happen?

Kell: Well, I don't know if you know this, but one of my closest friends got himself into a coma?

Sam: Very funny.

Kell: Then it's been downhill from there. How is he? Aiden?

Sam: He's, um...

6. Sam: I don't know. He's acting like the whole thing was just nothing.

Kell: To be fair, he was unconscious the whole time so it was probably nothing to him. Plus, this isn't his first drug-related medical emergency, is it? You, however, were a wreck. Like a total mess.

Sam: I'm sorry, next time my fiancé is in a coma I'll think of being more presentable.

Kell: Good.

7. Kell: No seriously, pretty understandable with the situation and all. I'm glad things turned out the way they did, I'd have no one to get high with if Aiden died.

Sam: Kellan.

Kell: I'm kidding. Also, it wasn't weed that got him into a coma, Sam.

8. Kell: Seriously, though, actually seriously this time, I get it. I mean, I was a wreck too. Honestly, I don't know what I would've done if Aiden died.

9. Kell: Especially not like that. The waiting was the worst, not knowing if he'd be okay or not. I mean, I don't know about you but I had some hope he'd live, but still.

Sam: [Shakes head]

Kell: You didn't think he'd live? Like, at all?

10. Sam: ...no.

11. Kell: In other news, my date last weekend was so bad. Unimaginably bad. Easily top 3 list bad.

Sam: You have a list of your worst dates?

Kell: Well, Sam, some of us aren't super fucking lucky and randomly meet the love of our lives one day. I have to gamify it to maintain my sanity. She was really nice, though, it was my fault. I just wanted to go home the entire time.

12. Sam: Let me know if I can help.

Kell: With dating? You might be in a long-term relationship but you're not qualified.

Sam: No? You know what I meant.

Kell: Dude, you're literally the last person I'd unload my emotional baggage on right now. I'm more likely to do it to Aiden. Aiden.

Sam: Kell, you are not making me feel better.

Kell: I'm not trying to. I'm giving you a reality check.

13. Sam: I don't need a reality check, I'm well aware I've been a mess.

Kell: You literally went straight from a mental breakdown to taking care of Aiden.

Sam: Yes? He was in a coma? He's my fiancé? We live together?

Kell: Okay, now you're just making me feel lonely. You're literally third wheeling me and Aiden's not even here.

Sam: You brought it up!

Kell: Oh. Right.

14. Kell: Have you slept in the past week, by the way? Because it doesn't look like it.

Sam: I have. This is just what I look like.

Kell: It's not.

Sam: Yes, it is. You're just insulting me now.

15. Kell: My point is, you let me know if I can help you.

Sam: You could have phrased it in a nicer way.

16. Sam: Can we talk about something else? I'm getting tired of coma related conversations.

Kell: Oh, for sure. I can tell you about my worst dates list and you can laugh at me. I have it written down and everything.

Sam: What?

Kell: Yeah, with details. Do you want to see?

Sam: ...sure.

[typingwithmyhandstied]

On a random note, my favorite dynamic in ADSOM is probably Alucard and Kell or Maxim and Kell or Holland and Kell or Rhy and Kell. Wait, or Lila and Alucard or Rhy and Lila.

[tam--lin]

I love *gestures* this genre.

[ybcpatrick]

cannot fucking BELIEVE some of the canadian radio hits the rest of the world lowkey missed out on. like wdym you've never heard heartbreak coverup by jesse labelle? ghost by fefe dobson? this is what it feels like by armin van buuren feat. trevor guthrie? kiss goodnight by tyler shaw? break my heart by victoria duffield? hit me up by danny fernandes feat. josh ramsay and belly? goodbye by glenn morrison? inner ninja by classified? literally anything at all by marianas trench?

[gay-poet-gabriel]

could u possibly. tell me about jibril. like jsut yap he seems so cool my interesst is very piqued

imagine getting paid to yap

HIIIII!!! LOL i just got back from school and i have found that i have been invited to yap which like i could do for hours but at the same time i probably cant do for very long because my thoughts on this man and his fam are like.,,,,, everywhere ermmm idek where to start

AND ILL BE HONEST EVERYTHING IVE EVER WRITTEN OF HIM (starting a few years ago) HAS VERY DIFFERENT BACKSTORIES AND CRAP FOR HIM BUT YKNOW

SA MENTION, IDEK JUST BEWARE UNDER CUT

uuhh well his family were shepherds in Palestine. He loves them dearly, his Mama is dead (like mine, self-insert time) his brother Mikael is loving as well as his Baba Yusuf, great! But he struggles still because of his missing mother and he was raped as a young boy :(

Didnt get much of an education. Good at what he does, not particularly smart though. (Not that it matters of course c: )

so this comic (which u can barely see cuz my phone camera sucks) is basically about Abraham and Isaac but also Miriam and Moses like essentially Jibril knows he should feel blessed with the birth of his daughter, but he also is pretty mentally disturbed so he has these very horrifying intrusive urges of hurting the people he loves, particularly her (Anaïs, his little one) I feel like the parallels are obvious in this one so yknow i basically already said it

Anyway the lyrics on the left are from Swan Upon Leda by Hozier, which is about rape (story of Leda), abortion rights, and Israel's violent occupation of Palestine (Where Jibril and his family have always been from actually so that's one thing that hasn't changed that they are Arab)

Also jibo is transgender (how i usually draw him LOL who knows anymore magic) so he gave birth to his daughter himself, hence like all of this.

ANYWAY

omg i just realized all of these comics are about his relationship with his daughter except for the red one that's impossible to see whoops

YOU CAN ALSO BARELY SEE THIS ONE

but basically its Jibo's Baba (Yusuf) telling him how special he is and how everything has a bit of god in them, and yknow its him freaking out about how he has something beautiful to share but he just hates himself because he feels he isn't doing a good job as a father or as a person

---------

moving on he joined the military asap and went on that for a while (don't have much to say about that actually? that's kind of just where i insert him with fandoms i like BUT IT MATTERS I PROMISE)

above lyrics are about rape again u get it and learning to live again (LOVE YOU HOZIER)

THEN he meets his lover boy Aislinge!

Feels immediate guilt for being in love with a man, feels like it is wrong to be gay, feels like he is wrong because he is transgender and still in love with a man (like how he thinks a woman should be)

He is already deeply detached from desire- it doesn't come with the job, does it? haha- and sex-repulsed. but he has a simultaneous fascination and of course guilt with shame and themes of repressed sexual and religious trauma

He feels as though he should not be forgiven but Aislinge does forgive him! And then they're in love and they get married and Gabriel still thinks about the people he's lost and feels bad for it but they're okay.

They both retire and spend their days in Ireland while Anaïs does something, haven't decided what she would do as an adult

the end

[koeputkitatti]

Ask game :) List 5 things that make you happy and then ask this question to the last 10 people who liked and reblogged things from you

okay uhhhh shit okay hold on

1. my dog

2. songs that slap so hard you listen to them on loop for days

3. discord calls w my friends :)

4. the weather outside rn hell yeah

5. mämmi 🫶🏻

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

[currymanganese]

tagged by @ripley-stark - thanks for tagging me!

Quality of the soundtracks play a big factor in some of these choices.

tagging @thoughtfulchaos773 @vacationship @whenmemorydies @ambeauty @brokenwinebox @moodyeucalyptus @mod-doodles @angelica4equity @imliterallyjustablackgirl @caiusmarciuscoriolanus @post-woke @unbeweavvveable @pureseasalt if you want to play!

P.S. Stalker is up on YouTube for free if anyone would like to watch:

[purplebass]

Thought about Lila's trauma and drinking as her copying mechanism to deal with her emotions (in relation to her relationship with Kell but also with Alucard) so I wrote a post because I had so much to say :)

Special mention to @bluecichlid because your comment under my Lila meets her father again fanfic inspired part of this post so thank you lol

tw: alcohol mention, tw: trauma mention, tw: anxiety mention

We know from bits here and there that Lila's father was an alcoholic and she often ran away from home and he didn't even notice. This forced Lila grow up fast and her needs were never met. Lila using her father's copying mechanism to avoid dealing with things (mostly emotionally related) is not surprising. No one taught her what in psychology is defined as "emotional literacy", which is the skill to understand/deal with emotions related to oneself and the outside world. She learned that by herself by trial and error and observation, but of course this human skill is also sharpened by interactions a person has with their caregiver(s) and with their peers, which help us regulate our emotions and act according to what society expects us to do. From the look of it, Lila doesn't seem to have had any meaningful relationships after she left her father for good. Barron was a fatherly figure to her but she never truly let him in. Then she met Kell, and her life began to change because he was the first person with whom she was able to make a deeper connection. Then came Alucard, with whom she equally shares a deep connection which is different from the one she has with Kell, and many many more. I only mention them because they are important for the discourse I'm making in this post.

Lila likes to drink as a way not to process her emotions and numb them, because she is avoidant and dismissive just like her caregiver used to be. Drinking is her response to trauma. It's Lila's favorite copying mechanism along with fighting (both physical and magical) to blow off steam. It's the quickest way to kick her emotions to the curb because they are too much and she isn't sure she can control them. She doesn't want to be crushed by them, which scares her (hence avoidant but she also wants to feel). But canon hints that Lila prefers to drink alone rather than with someone. She doesn't feel safe drinking with others because she doesn't want to lose control, so she tries not to exaggerate.

Lila's drinking in relation to Kell: trying not to think about him hurting in tftop + Kell rewiring Lila's past trauma into a good one

Her drinking is often emphasized after she goes or someone is going through something. For example in tftop, she goes with the crew to drink after the fight on the vessel where Kell gets hurt by his magic and she knows he needs to be alone. She tries to divert her feelings (being worried about Kell and wanting to comfort him but being unable to do so) by celebrating the mission the crew accomplished, but she ends up thinking about him anyway while she drinks by herself.

I mentioned this moment specifically because this is one of the moments in the series where Lila has a positive outcome linked to her drinking, and it rewires her past traumatic experience. When she returns to the ship after drinking, Kell is waiting for her. He pretends to be sleeping because he doesn't want to appear anxious when she's out at night, since she prides of her independence and knows how to take care of herself. But Lila knows that he is waiting and she has an ambivalent reaction to it. She is glad but she also thinks he doesn't need to do that because she doesn't need to be looked after. So Kell tries to meet her in between by pretending to sleep, knowing that he needs to trust her or his anxiety will eat him. Kell fears abandonment as much as Lila does, and by doing what her father never did, he gives her the safety she needs and whom she doesn't dare to ask for from him. She equally gives him the safety he needs when she returns safely into his arms at night.

The same happens in acol while they are on the Ghost. Lila drinks while she plays and loses her boots to Jasta, and Kell gives her his so she can have her boots back. They have a moment before the ship is attacked and Kell asks how much did she drink. Liquid courage makes her honest and she confesses she rarely drinks in company because she doesn't want to be caught unawares.

Drinking and having fun is a way to deal with everything happening (risking to die because of Osaron, Lila finally accepting her feelings for Kell/his feelings for her, dealing with her new identity as an antari). But she instantly sobers up once she realizes that they are all in danger and we see how quickly the adrenaline makes her react to the new situation.

Kell tries to help Lila relax after a bad drinking experience

Another moment I want to point out in relation to Lila, Kell and drinking is when Hastra gives Lila the tonic to make her sleep. Kell gets mad at Hastra for spiking her drink because he knows how much she would hate that because it was done against her consent. When they are in Verose in tftop, in fact, Lila doesn't seem to want to drink at first, but Kell encourages her by saying: "not everything is a trap," and she decides to trust him and tries to relax. It tugs at her heartstrings that he sees her and is learning and trying to silently support her when she doesn't even know she needs support. This is love.

Lila's drinking in relation to Alucard: he wants to get information out of her + he's also a sort of confidante to her

There are other moments where she drinks while she is with Alucard in agos and he's trying to find things about her while teaching her magic. However, when she drinks with him and the crew she is guarded, and she never drinks enough to lose control and never does things she would regret. Her drinking is calculated.

Lila also drinks with Alucard in tftop. Alucard jokes and says "I'm far more fun than Kell," when he asks Lila why she's there to drink. She agrees, but her mask slips because it's easier to show Alucard (who I consider Lila's bff) how she really feels. Lila doesn't openly say that she's worried about Kell but Alucard understands because he is good at observing people just like Lila. She also lets him in her plans to catch the Hand. Alucard was the only one who knew about Kosika, about the Hand meeting and more - things Lila didn't tell Kell. That's not casual. Lila confides in Alucard because he is a friend and because it's easier to talk to him than to confide in Kell, with whom she's romantically involved and was in a difficult moment at that point of the story. She precisely avoids to talk to him about this because she loves him too much and she doesn't want to burden him. She knows he would worry too much if she did, and she doesn't want to add that burden to the emotional baggage he's been carrying for years. It's Lila's way to protect Kell from potential harm.

I wanted to say more things but I said enough lmao. Thank you if you read so far and if you have thoughts, feel free to interact <3

[hlvrai-twh]

Let’s take a look at the paper - maybe it’ll tell us what’s in the bottle?

"I don't get it..."

*Josh? What does it say?*