"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
Tango and GeminiTay visit Etho post-charity stream travel while Grian interacts via chat. Etho says he and Joel were alone all week and everybody teases him.
19 minutes into Tango's "I AM THE MASTER" stream, April 2024
Transcript:
Tango: So, Etho, what did you do all week by yourself? Were you lonely?
Etho: Dude, it was so dead on this server-
Tango: It was so quiet! I know.
Gem, overlapping: Did you miss us?
Tango, overlapping: He DID! He did!
Gem: Awww!
Etho: A little bit... It was just like- It was like Joel and me, and...................... and that was about it... And Cub came back eventually.
Gem, overlapping: Of COURSE you mention Joel first.
Gem: Not your neighbor, Cub. JOEL. Joel's top of the list.
Etho: But I couldn't even go see Joel because it would've been awkward to, like... just be alone.
Gem: You poor thing...
Tango, reading Grian's message in chat: 'Joel is enough for you.' Yeah...... I see more statues popping up- Who's making them?
Etho: Not me! Okay, something weird is going on- I don't know the deal behind it-
Tango, laughing: Uh-huh...
Etho: I've made two statues... Total.
Tango: Which ones did you make?
Etho: The Joel one... and the other one's... a secret.
[End]
Next, Tango and Gem tease Etho because they're pretty sure the other statues he built are the giant Etho statues, implied to be something he put in front of Joel's base himself. Etho says this is "not confirmed in his video."
Publishing has always been a fucking nightmare, but now it’s a layer of hell. It’s not enough that writers be good at what they do. Writers have to maintain an active social media presence and cultivate a following. Be available.
They have to be conventionally attractive enough to look good enough to see on a screen, aesthetically pleasing, kind, funny, up-to-date on trends, socially aware but not so controversial that they turn off a brand from California from slapping their discount code on a video promoting a book.
They have to do all of this with no media training, with little help from the companies that are supposed to be doing this for them.
Of course, a lot of this isn't possible for say, the 40-something mother of two who teaches English at a school and writes on the side. She’s boxed out of an already complex industry that already has enough walls.
On some level, I think authors have always marketed themselves a little, but we’ve reached such a crazy point where we’re demanding the author become the influencer. Accessibility in publishing has narrowed from an inch to a sliver. And that inch was hard enough to get in as is.
that vid of lewis apologizing to george is so awkward imagine if they made lewis and nico do shit like this after barcelona 2016 💀💀💀
ACTUALLY... 🤓 after the controversial monaco Grand Prix 2014 qualifying, where lewis believed nico crashed during quali on purpose so he'd secure pole and win the race, and nico claimed he didn't, he'd lost control last second and the stewards didn't claim foul play -- lewis went to the press and said "we're not friends, we're colleagues."
the weekend after, in Canada 2014, they had this infamous interaction where Lewis puts his hand on Nico's shoulder to show they're buddy buddy and nothing's wrong, and Nico just side eyes his arm off
You couldn't pay to get merc PR recreate something like this, because George and Lewis do not have the shared history of something like this where your childhood friend tells the press you're no longer friends after you allegedly bin it in quali on purpose and then tries to be friendly for the cameras.
what I was talking abt earlier. we have fully looped back around and away from feminism, societally, whereas before it was very Feminism 101 to acknowledge that many parts of existing as a woman in a misogynistic society are painful and upsetting.
not that being a woman is Inherently Negative in a bubble. but that living on this earth, in the conditions we're living in, is hostile to women.
and that gender is a performance. that many of the Staples Of Femininity as accepted by society are things that you have to create and perform and mold artificially and aren't inherent, that COMPLAINING about day to day difficulties of existing as a woman is something that you're allowed to do.
acknowledging these basic, again, feminism 101 things, that something tied to womanhood is more time consuming or more expensive or more dangerous Because Of The Problems. does not CREATE the problems. that when women complain about having to perform femininity, they are not, in fact, oppressing themselves. the call does not come from inside the fucking house.
saying that you HAVE suffered does not fucking equate that you believe you SHOULD have suffered.
like I could talk about this for hours. how braindead and one-dimensional the Takes are getting. "being a woman is looking in the mirror and going fuck yeah i'm a woman" damn. I guess any negative experiences you have by living in a misogynistic world... are your fault if you are anything but positive?
"you don't actually want liberation" we've fully gone back to telling feminists "you WANT to be oppressed" when anything negative about our society is pointed out. it's not real until I say it out loud, I guess, and then I'm actually the one who caused it.
if anybody expresses any unhappiness with how they're treated or the status quo or the language and culture surrounding womanhood and femininity. they've created it, right that second. they invented it just now. it wasn't a problem before somebody complained, right?
also trans women aren't braindead zombies who just follow the flow of whatever cis women around them say. I am pretty fucking sure they are very much aware of pain, and are MORE than aware of the swirling torrent of misogyny and standards of femininity than anybody else. actually. and I am pretty sure someone complaining on tumblr that being a woman means always putting on a performance is going to make someone change their mind about transitioning. also "performing femininity" as a necessity to being treated well as a woman is not fucking NEWS to your Local Trans Woman. I AM PRETTY SURE SHE GETS THE CONCEPT. using trans women as a scapegoat for this braindead perspective on gender politics is spineless, meritless, and pathetic.