#LEFT ON A FUCKING CLIFFHANGER

[myverynormalacc]

NOOOOOO

FUCK MEEEhhhhheeee,,,,

I JUST READ A BOOK ON WATTPAD, AND I WAS LEFT ON A CLIFFHANGER

OML NOOOO

FUUUU-

WTF WAS THIRD REICH DOING THERE?! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD

I NEED SOMEONE TO YAP THIS TO (sorry Sucheon therapist but thats you tomorrow)

BOOK:

FUCKING GOD-

[softesteshouten]

And...

That's

That's it, for this month??????

It feels almost... anticlimatic?

And we're not gonna get this explained until next month???

Fuck. God.

Fuck.

[artfulacrostic]

memes for The Bad Batch 3x05, "The Return" PT 2

told y'all i'd be back here's ur second delivery

*SPOILERS*

[purrassicjet]

Me, delusional: maybe we'll get more Sandra Lynn backstory in the next episode.... Maybe she and Fig could talk about it...

[ohshitiforgor]

Dain. Where the fuck are you. Where are you Dain.

[livelaughlovepedri]

why do i feel like hotd ep 5 & 6 could’ve been summed up in 5 mins…

[kaythefloppa]

The definition of original experience is growing up thinking that Area 51 had musical Ninjas, secret agents, fossilized replicas of actual dinosaurs, and goddamn time machines...

all because of a Wild Kratts fanfiction

[im-all-out-of-ideas]

oh my god

fujimoto when i get you FUJIMOTOR WHEN I FUCKING GET YOUUU

[kenzan-kiwami]

i cannot and did not read the majority of this story but ichi getting a tattoo scene in RGGO is making me a little bit insane

[amtrak12]

Truly unhinged behavior that Bridgerton has made a bee such a significant part of their branding and always put one in the premieres and finales and trailers etc etc when S2 showed plain as day that that bee was both a murderer and murder weapon. Like SIR!!! I thought this was a romance novel TV show with happy endings? WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME A MURDERER???

[rosieshipper]

I am emotionally unwell from the Fiona and Cake finale

Spoilers in the tags

[wayward-dreamer]

i'm suing jason sudeikis for the emotional distress caused by this episode. I am such a mess rn it's tragic

[thinkinpoink]

Nothing like getting a fanfic update email only to find out you somehow missed??!?!? A few updates!?? Call that unintentional bonus chapters baby!!!

[dylanconrique]

i'd say i'm completely boycotting stranger things 5 after all the fucking bs regarding noah schnapp, but i have to know if lumax are gonna make it. i just have to.

[citrusfruitchi]

ARCANE SEASON 2 TRAILER OMG

[djsangos]

You can barely fucking think straight.

Horde of Salmonid after horde of Salmonid comes swarming down every alleyway as your splatoon, along with the Grizzco crowd, fights beak and tentacle to protect Splatsville and evacuate civilians to Inkopolis.

“I didn’t even know Grizzco was still operating,” you’d said as the lot of you were gearing up to hold the line at Barnacle & Dime. “Didn’t the rookie and Octavio fucking kill the CEO?”

“Someone else must have taken over,” Eight had mused, strapping on her ink tank. “I guess we’re lucky that we’re not taking this on by oursel—”

“Guys! Captain!” Four came careening in, one boot on his foot and the other in his hand. “They’re in the city proper! Headed to the plaza!”

“Shit!”

It’s a lot easier to get separated from your agents than you thought it’d be, dispersed by the waves of Salmonids and the Grizzco employees fighting for their lives and the city alongside you, and you find yourself back-to-back with one of those strangers now, fending off a group of Salmonids trying to surround the two of you.

A strange, high-pitched noise emanates from the ground beneath you. You both look down, spotting a bobber, and you’re dragging them away by the arm through an opening in the swarm before they can even finish shouting “Maws!” They drop a bomb as you drag them off, and a large Salmonid emerges from the ink, swallows the bomb, and explodes, taking a couple of the smaller Salmonids out with it in the resulting ink splatter and leaving a handful of golden Salmonid eggs in its place.

“Too bad we didn’t have enough time to grab an egg basket,” the Inkling you just dragged out of the Maws’… maws mutters darkly, taking shots at the surviving Salmonids straggling after the two of you as you yourself throw a splat bomb into the swarm, taking a few more out.

“Captain!” comes from behind you, and you can’t risk turning around to look, but you hear the sound of someone emerging from ink, and what you now definitely recognize as the rookie’s voice, tight and without their usual sardonic humor. “That oughta be the last of the evacuees, they’re all on the train headed for Inkopolis.”

“Thank cod,” you say, then add, “stay close. Both of you.”

“Aye aye?” your new companion says, bemused.

The three of you swim in unison, yourself taking the lead, to the nearest swarmed alleyway, shooting from the entrance at the Salmonids trying to spill out into the plaza. Where the hell are they coming from?

“Anyone got Reeflsider?” you ask, using your right crutch for support and shooting with your left, formulating a plan on the fly.

Your companion shakes their head, lobs a bomb at the swarm growing closer. “I got Kraken. One left.”

That can work too. “Get it charged, go in, we’ll follow you.” With enough of them clumped together, you can use a Splashdown to take out almost the whole group at once.

As they get ready to charge in with their Kraken Royale, you just can’t help but wonder for a moment.

Why’re they attacking the city with this much force? What do they want? Is killing them the right call? How can you keep this from ever happening again?

Is this how the Octarians felt when you invaded Octo Valley? Did they ask the same questions?

“Let’s go, Captain!” Rookie calls, pulling you from your thoughts. Focus, asshole. Now’s not the time for a guilty conscience.

Your new companion takes the lead, crushing many of the Salmonids in their path and pushing back those that aren’t immediately killed. You and the rookie dive into the ink they leave in their wake, rushing forward to meet them at the other end of the alley, where their special ends.

The alley opens up onto a wider road running perpendicular to it, and holy shit, there’s a lot of Salmonids here. Definitely more than one Splashdown can take out, but in splatting a couple more Chums, your special is ready to go, and it only takes a quick look shared with the rookie, whose hair is similarly flared with a fully-charged special, for them to know exactly what you’re thinking.

Running into the horde closest to you, spacing yourselves just so to maximize splattage, and the rookie shouts “SPLASHDOWN!”

If you both had Triple Splashdowns, the carnage would be a sight to fucking behold, but as it stands, your makeshift Double Splashdown still goes pretty hard, and the two of you take out practically the whole group that had met you at the alley’s exit, save for the stragglers outside the radius.

You stumble as you right yourself, leaning heavily on your crutches, breathing hard. Cod, your body fucking hurts.

“You good, Cap?” You hadn’t even noticed the rookie approaching you, but you wordlessly nod all the same.

“Just need a second.” You’d like to take a minute at least, but you don’t have that kind of time. This shit’s far from over, and you don’t even need to look to know more Salmonids are already approaching.

When this is all over, you’re gonna need to check in with the rookie about how they feel about all this- they definitely can’t feel good about tearing through their Lil’ Buddy’s own kind, at least.

“Great teamwork, guys,” says your companion, running up to the two of you. A distinct stinging sound rings through the air, and what looks like a Stingray made of horrifically filthy water cuts through the air. “We’ve gotta move! Everyone good?”

You glance at the rookie, who gives a thumbs up, then nod again. “Stinger, right?”

“There’s a Steel Eel headed this way, too,” they say. Steel Eel… You think you remember what those are from your brief skim of the Salmonid Field Guide, smaller Salmonids steering a giant water-spouting machine of death.

“We deal with the Stinger first,” you say. Best to get the immediate threat out of the way. “Don’t get separated.”

“Yeah, okay, boss,” they lightly scoff, but follow your lead anyway, fighting your way through the horde to follow the Stinger ray to its source. Between the three of you, it’s trivial enough to take out, and again it leaves nothing but a splatter of ink and three golden eggs.

“What a waste,” Rookie says, eyeing the eggs with a look and tone you can’t read. “Where’s the Steel Eel?”

“It’s that—” the stranger turns and points, then stops. “—it’s gone.”

The three of you swim in the direction they pointed out, and there’s someone else swimming up to you. Emerging from the ink all at once-- it’s Callie!

“Oh my cod! Captain! Agent Three!” she calls. “You’re okay!”

“Is that fucking Callie Cuttlefish?” your companion exclaims.

“Agent One,” you say, “are you okay?”

“Where’re the others?” adds the rookie.

“I’m okay. They’re-- hang on.” She weaves past the three of you and flicks her roller aggressively at yet more Salmonids coming to break up your reunion. “Let’s clear up the road first!”

The four of you make quick work of the rest of the Salmonids in this section of road, and soon enough the flood turns into a trickle into nothing, for now.

“Whew!” Callie breathes, leaning on her roller and wiping invisible sweat from her forehead. “Anyway, last I saw Agent Eight and Agent Four, they were fighting in the plaza, and Agent Two was on the train helping with the evacuation. She’s probably back in Inkopolis right now, giving a tentacle with first aid. And Gramps is way out of the way, he’ll be okay,” she adds, almost as an afterthought.

“They’ll be okay together, right?” says the rookie.

“We should still meet back up with them,” you say between deep, slow breaths. “Strength in numbers.”

The stranger takes a deep breath of their own, then shouts, “Okay, just who the hell are you people!?”

“Huh?” says Callie, seeming to finally, actually realize the presence of a stranger in your midst. She adds to you, “New friend of yours?” You just shrug in response.

“I mean,” they continue, “you guys have weird titles, Callie fucking Cuttlefish is here, and you’re clearly not with Grizzco. So what’s your deal?”

“We’re here to help,” Rookie says. “Splatsville’s my home too, I’m not gonna let it fall. Even if…” they trail off.

“Gahhh,” the stranger groans, bringing a hand up to their head. “This situation is so fucked we have some kind of secret militia stepping in to save the day. My sister’s not gonna believe me when I tell her about this! I must be going crazy!”

“Can we save it?” you say. “We’ve got bigger fish to fry.” Rookie gives you a look. “Poor choice of words, my bad.”

“We get the gist, Captain!” says Callie. “Let’s head back to the plaza while the coast is clear.”

“Gah,” repeats your companion, “Fine.”

When you get back to the plaza proper, your gaze almost immediately locks onto your two missing agents, Four throwing a bomb at a Flyfish and Eight taking on a group of Salmonids trying to stop the two of them from taking out the Flyfish. You motion to the others the direction you’re going, and ink a path to swim over, popping up beside Eight to help in the fending off just as you hear the final bomb in the Flyfish explode and see the other four exit the ink after you.

“There you are!” Eight exclaims. “We were getting worried.”

“We had it under control,” you say. “Glad you guys have it handled here, too.”

Between the now six of you, this group of Salmonids never had a chance.

Eventually, the waves and waves of Salmonids seem to clear, and everyone, Squidbeak and Grizzco, is heading towards the center to regroup and recuperate, when a horn sounds, and shouts start to ring out among the Grizzco groups.

Oh, shit.

“It’s the Triumvirate!” someone shrieks.

“I thought they stopped them at Undertow!” shouts another.

Oh, shit.