#LIKE I ALWAYS WANTED THAT TO BE TRUE ANYWAY BUT THE MATH IS MATHING NOW

[funeralflow3rs]

HOFAS SPOILERS HOFAS SPOILERS

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BROOOOOO, elain the high lady of day, nesta the high lady of dusk, and feyre the high lady of night...... IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER

[luxuourr]

Why manifesting is your best friend + society is a bitch.

manifesting ?? my best friend ? hell no. i need to work so hard...

pookie it's not your work hard thing , your society you live in, we collectively live in , has told us fucked up shit we don't need to believe in, nothing of it is true. The only thing true is what's from the heart and it's the feeling , you didn't and god didn't and universe didn't send time upon us , we used our brains to create it ,

laws don't fail. laws are made laws because they're undeniable.

understand time is not linear , scientists found alphabets otherwise let's be honest , who would have known what's English is?? If Greeks and Egyptians didn't work on time. would we know today?

nuh uh! so I suggest you to remember, don't look at how much time or date you're at, don't look at how many hours until he (sp ) surprises ur enemy with date , how you fail

no time to think of this, think the best of every possible circumstance, I know and you should too, you're doing a great job

even if the last conversation with him ended in a divorce, breakup or failed situation ship, you can get it all back, even if life has not been kind to you and you could not keep up with the most important exam of your life AND you're a victim of domestic abuse or parental abuse. it's not too late, you're not doing anything right or wrong , just because you could not do more than you could because of circumstances, it'll not change your results , it'll not change you getting 100%, if you did everything positively and tried to slap your negative thoughts there's always hope. i say this as I have not prepared anything for the most important math exam of my life and it's 5 pm rn , I have 14 chapters and have the most biggest exam of my life tommorow at 1 pm, have severe depression and the most toxic and hurtful family you could ever imagine to have.

believe me, no one will care about you, until you make it happen.

do you know what your job is ?

- know what you want + assume you're that version, that super model , famous celeb, have that desired body s/o or whatever , fullfill yourself after that and BOOM you wake up in it, won't even take less than a 2-3 days if your belief is good enough, you're doing shit in a fun way to manifest everything you want

- failure doesn't exist , no you're not delusional for attempting nothing in exam and wanting 96% ,you're god remember. the others who have the exam aren't , if you assume you'll know everything without studying that's going to happen, it only depends on what you feed yourself with.

- gone is gone , it's like it'll never come back, if there is something attached , like up coming results from what happened, i suggest assume + accept and move on

- if you script, mediate, robotically affirm, visualize or do whatever, it is meant to happen

- do not worry, you're doing a good job, just try your best for certain things or assume , everything works in the best possible outcomes

- mountains and clouds , centuries and the equator will move for you to get your desires.

- no you're not cursed and shit, life's a rainbow sparkle colors it's all a roses of bed and not what society taught us, just assume and you'll wake up with it

- for example if you have important exams of your life , there's this girl in front of you doing so well in exams , u don't wanna cheat and there's no chances anyway but you realize, the best you're doing right now is trying your level best in the exam and if you have time or not , time doesn't matter it's just created by us, remember she's not better she has no idea about LOA It's , you it's me it's us. Why would she be better, she had to study 24/7 and then still assume about average grades and stress over what's wrong and right , instead you , who could visualize given it well, be the person who got 96% in these exams isn't it much more fun, less tiring and entertaining??

- you got to know manifesting for a reason, trust people who posted their success stories, trust yourself , be kind to yourself and don't let the old story walk over you, it was never there , failure never existed , you've always been the new story you created for yourself, understood.?

- beating yourself up is not going to reverse time again honey, it's gone , it's not coming back , like never so focus on yourself, your feelings , your intentions , your life. Try to know that manifesting is not about trying to get and doing methods to recieve , it's about KNOWING and feeling.

e. g Aliyah is a girl who's a manifestor she wants good grades, she has issues she cannot study because of and cause her to be burn out at home , so she decides , the night before finals.

she thinks " i will try my best and even if it's the point where it wasn't good enough, universe and manifesting has my back, the time that'll be taken by the institute to check my exams , I'll revise everything including all my wrong parts of exam and unfilled parts to fully filled correct answers because crying and whining won't do shit, but this feeling will change everything" , even her bsf in this case supported her and told her that she's manifesting for her and everything plays out in the best possible circumstances. You only assumed like that and made it happen

e. g there's another manifestor called Sara she is also giving the same exam as aliyah , but instead of working on her self concept , believing in herself

, she'd cry for hours everyday for three months so instead of reality giving her the 100% she's been hoping for , she fails she thinks 3D is everything( it's not ) , she doesn't believe in bloggers she's impulsive, thinks crying is the solution to everything , she spends 3 months crying and shitting about herself to achieve nothing in life

prior to this aliyah the master manifestor slays in everything she does, she accepts and moves on , every time bad thoughts get to her , she slaps them with " NO THIS IS MY WORLD IM AN ACCURATE PERFECT MANIFESTOR"

so who of them saved themselves despite abusive household and everything??? Sarah just spent all the time crying and whining.

you can either be her. ( Sarah) or HER (aliyah)

[kbandtrash]

Less Than Three (Hongjoong x Reader)

~Rachel~

@sorryimananti-romantic hahaha remember how I said I was the slowest writer ever? Apparently that's not true because it only took me a month and a half to write this. I need help

Content: fluff, a whole lot of delusional one-sided pining (the cute kind though) (from him), silly middle school antics from both teachers and students, betting, friends to lovers

Summary: Kim Hongjoong teaches middle school math and finds himself absolutely smitten with you, the math department's newest hire. You're the last person to find out.

Note: This is set in an American-style middle school because that's where my teaching experiences have been and I figured my best work would come out of the system I'm most familiar with

Word Count: 11.5k

Why did Hongjoong choose middle school?

He asks himself this question every day as well

If he wanted to be a math teacher, high school was clearly a better option

But no he had started out in a middle school, promising to take a high school position as soon as one opened up

And now he was actively avoiding high school principals that wanted to recruit him

Is it because he found out the math is easier to explain and the kids really aren’t that bad?

Yeah sure

But this year he had another reason to stay

See his math department had a position open up this summer and as he got to take part in interviews to select a new hire

He fell in love

Now that was not the whole reason he advocated to hire you

In fact your credentials as a math teacher

The places you had taught before

Your praxis exam scores

Your recommendation letters

The professional development programs you were a part of

Test scores from your previous classes

The way you understood math

And especially the way you believed that every student had the potential to pass your class

All of these made you the obvious choice and everyone else agreed

But he was struck several times with Cupid’s arrows throughout the interview and that absolutely did not hurt his opinion of you as a potential colleague

On this particular morning his excuse to talk to you before classes started for the day was a test for your 7th graders

Which they would be taking next Friday

Your feedback always ended up being valuable anyway so there was no need for this to be an “excuse” but it got to be one anyway

You were typing something up when he knocked on the open door to your classroom to announce his presence

You finished typing your sentence before you looked up, and when you saw Hongjoong leaning against the door frame with some papers in his hand, you greeted him with a smile and a wave

He wondered if it would look unprofessional if he grew out his hair to cover his ears

You looked gorgeous today (every day) and he knew there was no stopping his ears from turning bright red

“I have the unit tests for 7th,” he said, stealing a chair from a desk to sit backwards on while he talked to you

“Oh good!” you replied. “I’ll take a look at those and get them back to you by lunch”

Buy lunch he thought

That sounded like an excellent idea

He should buy you lunch

He didn’t say that though

“Works for me. How was your weekend?”

And he stalled and stalled and stalled until the first bell rang and he had to get out to hall duty

At lunch he walked in again while you were putting in assignment scores and munching on some pretzel sticks

“I made a key for that new assignment we decided to add for 8th grade. Can you check answers if you get the time?”

His heart did a little flip as you covered your mouth with your hand while you finished chewing

How could you be so graceful and polite?

And your hands were so pretty wow

“Yes just as soon as I finish putting these in. And—” you turned your chair around and grabbed something from behind you— “here are the 7th tests from this morning. I added a couple notes on the integer operations review questions, but other than that, I think they’re great”

He unfortunately did need to go and eat his own lunch and fulfill other teacherly lunchtime duties so he couldn’t stall as much as this morning

But he read your notes on the way back to his classroom

And boy he could have lived in your handwriting

The pen that you used was the perfect instrument to capture every letter, every dot, every loop in a way that encapsulated your personality

And as soon as he caught himself thinking that he knew he needed to ask the home ec teacher to smack him over the head with a frying pan because wowie

He would need professional help in order to date you like a normal person at this point

Anyway he was practically skipping back after lunch because he came up with another question to ask you

There were students there so instead of using your first name he caught your attention by calling you Miss (L/N)

Which for some reason gives him more butterflies than calling you normally

This time luckily instead of giving you a new task it was a task he could do for you

“How many copies of the activity page should I put you down for?”

“Ooh good question”

You put your finger over your lips as you counted on your other hand and he had to actively look away and think about other things

There were students present after all

“Which classes are you doing it with?” you ended up asking

He used the opportunity to set a hand down on your desk and lean forward in a cool pose

“I’m making the eighth graders do it but it’s extra credit for the seventh”

“That sounds like a good plan to me. So sixty for the eighth graders and then how many do you think I would need if it’s optional?”

Oh boy he loved it when you asked for advice

It gave him the chance to look cool and smart and he always got to play it off as the humble senior teacher

“I do half just to be safe. Plus then you have extra if you want to do it again later in the year or even next year”

And then your face did that thing it did when you liked a suggestion he gave

Your face lit up with your eyebrows raised and your mouth in a little “ooh”

There were students around there were students around

“Okay then sixty for the eighth graders and forty-five for seventh. A hundred and five?”

He scribbled the number down on the copy request form

“Excellent. I’ll run this down then”

He gave you a smile and a wave as he went to attend to his own class

Which you returned

And he was sure his heart would never physically recover from the stress it was under this year

You didn’t need to know that you were the only other teacher he was sharing this particular activity page with

He would give it to the other teachers if they asked him for it but he wasn’t going to go out of his way for this one because it was kind of silly and short

But he would do anything to make your first year at a new school just a little bit easier

Back in his classroom he tried to get class started when one of his eighth graders had the audacity to raise his hand and say the following:

“You just walked back from Miss (L/N)’s class huh?”

Mr. Kim squinted suspiciously at the student

“Yeah…why”

“You’re way nicer when you go to her class before our class starts”

Before he had any time to figure out what that meant, the class exploded in giggles and shouts of agreement

“Yeah you smile a lot more this year than you did last year” a girl who had had his class the previous year as well agreed

And then from the back corner

One of the notorious trouble makers stood up

Pointed his finger up at poor Mr. Kim, who was now considering taking a high school position again

And shouted “Mr. Kim has a crush on Miss (L/N)!!!”

There was no longer any hope for this class

Exponent rules? Down the drain

Hongjoong was now a laughingstock

Irredeemable in front of a bunch of 13-14 year olds

So he stood with his hands clasped behind his back, lips pursed, and his eyes dangerously blank

It wasn’t long before kids started shushing each other

Even once they were quiet, he held their attention for a second longer

“If you have two to the fourth times two to the third, what’s the product?” he asked clearly, writing the problem on the whiteboard in new black marker

Not addressing the issue would not stem the tide of curious teenagers for long but it would have to be a band-aid solution until he figured out how to do this properly

Because he couldn’t allow rumors to spread that he liked you because firstly unprofessional and secondly what if you heard them and thought he was weird

But he couldn’t lie and allow rumors to spread that he definitely didn’t have a crush on you because firstly. unprofessional kids don’t need to know about that stuff

Like they think they’re all mature and old enough to date when they can’t even drive yet like can you imagine as a teenager asking your mom to drive you to your date with your girlfriend. Embarrassing

BUT SECONDLY

What if you heard the rumors and maybe you did like him back and it crushed your heart to hear that he didn’t like you

While the kids were working on their assignment and he was working on his computer he decided the best way to explain this to them

If they ever brought it up again

Was that they’re always in a better mood when they get to talk to their friends, right?

You’re a good friend and it’s fun working with you

The other math teachers are fun too but you’re close to his age so it makes sense that you would be closer

Yep

Good explanation Mr. Kim

Literally just one day later the kids bring it up again and they do not buy his explanation

They don’t even pretend to because their brains are not developed enough to have that kind of social tact

And the rumor doesn’t exactly spread like wildfire around the school but everyone knows about it you know what I mean

Except you actually

You’re usually very aware of everything going on in your classroom but somehow this particular subject escaped your attention

You learned early on that for some reason kids don’t have shame anymore in spilling their guts to the classroom about what they’re gossiping about

So the usual “if you can’t wait to tell your friend later then tell the whole class now” classroom management tactic is now useless

So you didn’t do that instead you just asked them which problem they’re helping their friend with and if they’re not helping their friend with math then they should get back on task

You didn’t think that any middle school level gossip could actually be that interesting anyway so yeah you had no idea that kids were shipping the teachers

And you didn’t want to know

So you stayed blissfully ignorant

While Hongjoong was lowkey agonizing over it

Now you and Hongjoong tend to eat lunch in your own classrooms rather than the staff lounge

Because why use up any more social energy than necessary right

But there is a vending machine in the staff room and Hongjoong was craving something sweet one day

And when he walked in the other teachers in there suddenly went awkwardly silent

And he knew

They were talking about him

Yeah he should take a high school position next year

Two of the younger teachers, Jung Wooyoung from the history department and Choi San from the phys ed department, broke the silence giggling to each other

“Sorry Hongjoong” San apologized “the kids are just hilarious these days. They’re so excited about you and (Y/N) it’s adorable”

Hongjoong gave them a look

“Adorable?”

“Well firstly you” Wooyoung pointed out “I never thought I’d see you fall head over heels but I totally get it. She’s super cool”

“And secondly the kids” San continued “any time you guys are talking in the hall I have all of the girls talking about it during warm ups. The boys all think of you as their role model when it comes to liking a girl”

“That reminds me!” Wooyoung interrupted “I actually did have a boy confess to a girl in my class the other day and you wanna know what he told her??”

Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrowed in a glare, absolutely sure that his reputation was never going to recover

“He said ‘I like you more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”

The teachers tried to tone down their laughter out of respect

Hongjoong wanted to leave immediately but this stupid vending machine was having issues

“And then you know what she said back?”

Wooyoung was having trouble holding himself together

His eyes were shining a little with tears of laughter

“She said ‘That’s impossible. No one can like anyone more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”

The other teachers could not hold it back anymore

The vending machine finally gave Hongjoong his candy bar

(Plus the extra one he bought for you)

So he made his way swiftly back towards the door

“Oh no no wait” Wooyoung called after him

“Tests to grade” Hongjoong lied simply

“No come on you have to hear this”

Hongjoong stopped at the door, fighting the urge to classroom manage his coworkers

He looked back both unimpressed and expectant at the same time

“Okay everyone raise your hands if you betted on before Christmas break” Wooyoung called out

Some of the teachers looked at him like he had just asked out a widow at her husband’s funeral

But they raised their hands sheepishly anyway

“Great yes and after Christmas break?”

The other half raised their hands, most of them looking like they wished that had eaten lunch in their own classrooms

“These are bets on when you’re going to ask her out” Wooyoung explained cheerfully

“Wasn’t someone also trying to get bets going on whether you would confess first or she would notice first?” San asked

“That was also me” Wooyoung said with a grin

The lounge door opened again and in walked the principal and one of the vice principals

Hongjoong thought this was finally the end to this stupid conversation

But no

“Oh Hongjoong!” the principal greeted him with a pat on the arm “I’ve got $50 on you dating before Christmas. Don’t let me down”

Waiting until the end of the school year to take a new position would simply not be soon enough

Hongjoong needed to find a new job or retire within the month

But then on the way back to his classroom he remembered he had an extra candy bar for you

So he made a detour

But what greeted him was a closed door with the window on the door covered

He hadn’t ever seen your door shut like this before so he wasn’t sure what it meant exactly

Maybe you went out to lunch today?

Then he could just nab one of your sticky notes and leave the candy bar on your desk with a positive message

He would rather give it to you himself, but the idea of you finding the candy bar on your desk later made his chest feel all warm and cozy so it was fine

Your door was unlocked, so he pulled it open just enough so he could see inside

And you were in there actually

Slumped in your desk chair with your head in your hands

Oh

Oh no

Hongjoong had been there before

Every teacher had been there before

The work of a teacher isn’t as easy as most people would like to believe

Especially for middle school, and even more so for math, it takes someone with unending patience and courage to help kids learn every day

And some days that patience and courage runs a little thinner than other days

Even experienced teachers wonder from time to time if it’s worth the soul that they give to their classes

The classes that seem sometimes not to notice one way or the other if you’re teaching or not

You hadn’t noticed that you weren’t quite alone anymore, so that left Hongjoong with a choice to make

Did he let you have this moment to yourself?

Or did he try to help you through it?

He closed the door as softly as he could

And then he gave a little knock to give you some privacy and some time to gather yourself

Then he opened the door and stepped halfway through

“The vending machine spat out two candy bars instead of one” he lied with a grin, holding up the extra candy bar and wiggling it between his fingers

You had sat up and were resting your chin on your hand curiously

But there was definitely a downtrodden aura about you that he couldn’t miss

“That’s pretty lucky,” you replied

He took that as permission to enter and on his way to your desk he snagged his usual chair to sit backwards on

“How’s today going so far?” he asked as if he knew nothing, setting the candy bar down on top of your closed computer

“Oh, you know,” you sighed

He chuckled, opening his candy bar, not making eye contact with you to relieve some pressure for you to keep up an act

“That good, huh?”

You laughed in return

“Just got my butt kicked by a bunch of seventh graders, so yeah, it’s kind of whatever right now”

Ah the teacher equivalent of “I want to quit my job and hide in my bed for the rest of my life”

“Oh, yep, I’ve been there more than once” he said with a nod “and sometimes there’s really nothing you could have done better, you know? Kids are just like that sometimes. It makes me glad I’m not an elementary school teacher”

“Oh my word yes” you agreed, finally picking up the candy bar “at least I can kick these gremlins out after 45 minutes and I don’t have to see them again until the next day. I can’t imagine being with the same class all day”

Did Hongjoong end up squandering his entire eating time just to talk with you and make sure you felt better?

Yes

He would have to sneak bites of his sandwich in between activities during his afternoon classes

But like it wasn’t the first time he’d had to do that and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last

At least he had a good reason today instead of something stupid like he was lost in the test grading sauce and forgot to eat

He proceeded to get his butt kicked by his afternoon classes because he couldn’t wipe his lovefool smile off his face

But it was okay because once again it wasn’t the first time and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last

Not long after came the hallowed and hated teacher inservice day

Professional development day

Both a huge waste of time and a relaxing little work day

The administrators usually planned a series of workshops for the morning that all looked. well. kind of stupid but it was all planned with good intention

Then it was lunch time

And then after that you had until the end of contract hours to do whatever pretty much

The math department liked to go to lunch together and then have a really productive planning meeting until people got bored and then it was individual prep time pretty much

Mostly it was just kinda nice to be at school without kids there

This year was no exception to all of this

But Mr. Principal had $50 on the line and decided to play matchmaker about it

For each of the workshops the teachers were split into groups

And you and Hongjoong had been placed together every single time

Somehow you genuinely thought it was just good luck

Hongjoong was hyperaware of every other teacher looking and pointing and giggling and you were so peacefully oblivious to it

The first workshop was about medical emergency training, specifically training teachers in case of allergy or diabetic emergencies

As soon as the nurse finished with the epipen instructions you leaned over to Hongjoong and whispered “like this?” 

And stabbed him with the fake epipen right in the thigh

Hongjoong swore he was going to die right then and there because why was that so attractive???

“Four…five…six…seven…eight…” you counted out, holding the epipen in place for the full ten seconds

And like a good patient he sat like a statue because his circuits were absolutely fried

You glanced up at his face and your expression immediately dropped

You checked the epipen all over to make sure it was just a trainer

(It was)

“Hongjoong are you okay?? Your face is all red did I do something wrong?” you worried

He unfroze and tried to undo the damage of his Little Moment but the nurse was already over at the table taking a closer look at him after dismissing the rest of the teachers to practice

She looked at you and then at Hongjoong and then at you again and back at Hongjoong and a funny look of understanding came over her face

“Are you Mr. Kim the math teacher” she asked

He nodded awkwardly

“And are you Miss (L/N) the math teacher” she asked

“Yes?” you answered

She patted Hongjoong on the shoulder

“He’ll be fine in a minute or so” she reassured you, glancing up and away somewhere else

You both followed her gaze over to the principal, who gave her a bright smile and a thumbs up

Which looked innocuous enough to the untrained eye

But to Hongjoong this was just another in a long list of embarrassments

The principal had told the guest workshop speakers about him

And he had been spotted that easily

After that was administration-provided snack time

Hongjoong offered to grab sodas if you would grab chips and stuff

And at the soda table he was greeted by Wooyoung and San, who called him affectionately Mr. Traffic Light

Hongjoong resisted the urge to react publicly

Even though there were no children around he refused to allow himself to be caught cursing them out

But he brainstormed violently about the ways he could get back at them without getting caught

Truly his middle school teacher powers of ignoring were activated because those two were practically dancing around him trading one-liner after one-liner and Hongjoong paid them no mind

Until he realized they were following him back to the table where he was sitting with you

He did not need them teasing him around you so he tried to shoo them off

But Wooyoung gleefully turned his attention up to the projector screen where the groupings for the next workshop were displayed

Truly your presence was the only saving grace this day had to offer

They were in this group with you two

The computer teacher/school tech support guy was leading this workshop and he was showcasing how one might use ai in their classroom

And all four of you were totally zoned out because firstly ai in a math classroom?? For what

Chat bots are notoriously bad at math

Ai in San’s gymnasium? Once again no practical application

And Wooyoung honestly just wasn’t that interested because none of you were listening so he didn’t feel like he had to either

So he decided flirting with you was more fun

Just to make Hongjoong mad

But for all of his whispered pick up lines and compliments you had approximately the same response as to this ai workshop:

Playing gamepigeon with Hongjoong under the table

(Which Hongjoong had initiated by the way)

(And you had perpetuated after destroying him at the mini golf game)

Aka you ignored Wooyoung pretty well

So Hongjoong got to glare over at him with the peace of mind that your attention was fully his right then

San tapped your shoulder and asked for your number

Which you gave him a little too easily for Hongjoong’s continued peace of mind

But then San just made a group chat for the four of you to play uno together for the remainder of the workshop

So Hongjoong decided that actually this setup wasn’t so bad

The last workshop was unfortunately much more important so the four of you couldn’t continue slacking off

The principal was running this one and it was genuinely for the betterment of the school environment

Plus San and Wooyoung were sent off to other groups

So it was the two of you and a few other senior teachers that were going to have a discussion about one of the behavior initiatives that the school was trying out

You were the only two math teachers in the group, so when the principal passed out data that had been collected about this behavior initiative, the other teachers sort of automatically passed the papers to you

(And the science teachers in the group but that’s irrelevant)

There was only one copy of each dataset, so that meant you got to share

And that meant that you got to scoot your chairs close together to look at the paper at the same time

And even better the text was kind of small so you had to bring the papers close to your faces to read them

So the two of you were shoulder to shoulder

Practically cheek to cheek, your heads almost touching

To read this data and explain it to the less number-savvy teachers

Today was actually pretty fantastic so far, Hongjoong thought

He also wondered if you could physically feel the heat coming off of his face but that was not something he was going to let bother him right then

He was going to live in the moment

And perhaps thank the principal later

After a surprisingly productive and insightful discussion

It was finally ~lunch time~

The math department gathered up in the department head’s classroom to decide which of the nearby restaurants to choose to go to

And no one could agree

Not a single person was feeling like eating the same thing

Except Hongjoong he was agreeing with whatever you said

Not just because he wanted you to have your way but because whatever you said sounded good to him too

Maybe it sounded good because you said it but nonetheless

And then the department head said the following fateful words:

“How about you two just go ahead and we’ll try to decide on something for the rest of us

Hongjoong was suspicious right then and there that this was a setup

The department head probably had money on Before Christmas

But Hongjoong was absolutely not going to let this opportunity slip through his fingers

“I’m cool with that” you answered before Hongjoong could gather his thoughts enough to say anything

Then you turned to him

“I need to go grab my purse from my classroom. Do you need anything from yours?”

“Oh, yeah, just my wallet” he answered totally on autopilot

You stopped by your classroom first and then his since his was closer to the front of the school

He was so excited to finally realize that dream of his from a few weeks back

He was gonna buy you lunch

And not only that it was just the two of you going out to lunch

It didn’t matter that this wasn’t a date

Or that technically you were just gonna buy food and eat it back at school

It was special to him to go somewhere with just you 

That wasn’t school

Seriously he was so happy he couldn’t stop smiling when he told the cashier that your orders were together and he was going to pay

You kinda elbowed him and told him he didn’t have to do that

But he just shrugged and turned his smile on you

“But I wanted to” he replied

You accepted that

“It’s on me next time” you promised

And oh man he could have died right there he felt so complete

Except if he died then there would be no next time

But you were saying next time and it made him think that wow yeah this would happen again

You meant if it ever happened again but he was determined that it was a certain for the future

Because even if it didn’t happen by chance then he would make it happen himself

When you got back to the school the rest of the math department was gone so you started eating without them

And that was a magical moment of peace too

Just the two of you

No one around to tease Hongjoong

He could almost pretend you were just normal friends and he wasn’t head over heels for you

Then the rest of the department came back and they all had food from the same restaurant

So Hongjoong had been right to be suspicious earlier

It was most definitely a setup to get the two of you by yourselves

And he liked it so he wasn’t going to complain about it

Even though it was embarrassing

Well as fun as professional development day ended up being

Parent teacher conferences were not

Hongjoong was looking forward to more Mr. Principal shenanigans

Like maybe when all the teachers were in the gym yours and his table could be next to each other

And he could talk to you when neither of you had any parents

And when the night was wrapping up

And he could walk you out to your car because it was dark

And maybe treat you to dinner because the school-provided food wasn’t usually that great

But no

None of that could happen

Because someone had decided to have teachers stay in their classrooms for conferences this year

The parents would have the wonderful opportunity to get lost in their child’s school trying to find all of their classes

What a joke

They were probably going to get so many complaints they would switch it back to normal next semester

But the one time Hongjoong was looking forward to parent teacher conferences

Of course

Was the one time they had to switch it up

The one silver lining in this was the teachers complaining about it together

Hongjoong’s favorite email he had ever received was now from Wooyoung

Who was replying to the email notifying teachers of the different setup this year but just to Hongjoong

In all lowercase:

“hey loverboy u see this crap

math teacher romancephobic fr smh”

And then with his full professional email signature at the bottom

This precious email was moved to Hongjoong’s funny emails folder, which was usually reserved for unhinged student emails

He did not reply to it

San and the other phys ed teachers were joking about how nice it would be to have the gym to themselves for once but they were in agreement that this probably wouldn’t last

Of course the math department had tests scheduled across all the grades right before conferences

Which of course left everyone grading like crazy

And of course the kids trashed the classrooms the day before

And of course the head janitor ended up getting sick

So it was up to the teachers to make sure their classrooms didn’t look like trash

Even though they had 150+ tests to grade and a pile of late work to grade

And they had 24 hours (7 of which were going to be spent teaching, and hopefully 7-8 would be spent sleeping) to make this all work before parents started showing up at 4 o’clock tomorrow afternoon

What a time this was going to be

So Hongjoong picked up his pile of tests and went to your classroom

Predictably you were grading tests

He stole a student desk and moved it close to your desk

“Which tests are you working on?” he asked

“Eighth” you replied, not looking up from the test you were currently grading

“How does this sound” he began “I’ll take your seventh and you take my eighth so we don’t have to switch answer keys?”

Still barely looking up, you handed him three binder-clipped stacks of paper

“As long as you don’t mind working to music” you replied, your eyebrows raising as a little smile played on your lips

He took your tests and handed you his eighth grade tests

(This worked out nicely as you both had three classes of seventh and two classes of eighth. He was tricking you into letting him take the heavier load ohoho so sneaky)

(He was just lucky you were grading eighth instead of seventh first)

“Don’t mind?” he snickered, uncapping his favorite felt-tip grading pen “I’d prefer it”

And that’s how speed grading turned into karaoke

Grading went almost certainly slower than it would have if you had worked alone but it was way more fun this way

Of course he ended up with sixty some more tests to grade than you

So when you finished you left for a bit and came back with snacks

As well as his pile of late work

He tried to protest but no no

“You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are Mr. Kim” you teased him “You thought you could fool a math teacher into thinking we had an equal workload here?”

“That wasn’t the point” he whined, trying to put the cap back on his pen and inking his finger instead

“Then what was the point?”

I love you that’s the point

But what was the point actually

What was a point he could believably tell you without giving himself away

“Just…because” he said convincingly, shrugging his shoulders and settling back into his tests “You look stressed these days. Wanted to do something nice I guess”

You brandished his late work stack again

“So I’m going to do something nice too”

Yeah he probably wouldn’t ever feel this way about anyone ever again

For him at this point it was you or nothing

But the problem was he was willing to let it be nothing for far too long

He would never make a single move unless he knew you were okay with it

Because if he and his stupid heart ruined whatever you had going now then it would really be nothing

He wouldn’t give up the something he still had

He was like a curve approaching an asymptote

He could get infinitely close, but he would never actually touch you

After settling your gradebooks for tomorrow you started by picking up your classroom together

This did go faster with music by the way

And then you picked up his classroom together

And then he realized Hongjoong realized he could have his wish

The one about walking you out to your car and taking you out to dinner

Walking you out was easy but taking you out was another story

He would have to suggest it himself

A little known fact about teachers is that they became teachers because they don’t know how/don’t want to talk with other adults

Kids don’t judge you if something comes out of your mouth a little different than you meant it

Other adults are mean and judge you over silly things

This unfortunately meant that he didn’t know how to ask you to go to dinner with him without making it sound like a date

He was kinda just hoping a lil Kdrama moment would happen and one of your stomachs would rumble really loud so he could laugh it off and say you should go eat together

But you got closer and closer to your car and no tummy rumbling

You got to your car and no tummy rumbling

You opened your door and said goodbye and still no tummy rumbling

“Wait!!!”

He could have slapped his own mouth

You were a little startled but it stopped you from getting in your car

“Hmm?”

“Just uh…it’s kinda late and snacks are great but they’re not that filling…so do you wanna um…” he trailed off and did not finish his thought

“Wanna what?” you asked

Big boy pants Hongjoong come on

“Go grab dinner? Or something?” he finally spat out

He must not have seen your face light up in the dark

“No pressure” he added when you didn’t answer within 0.05 seconds

“No that sounds great! I was thinking of grabbing something on the way home anyway and it would be way more fun to do it with someone else” you accepted

He let you pick the place again and you drove separately because after you would be going in different directions

But it ended up being a nice little fast casual restaurant

And it didn’t feel like a date really but it kinda felt like a date but no it didn’t

It just ended up being a comfortable little outing between friends

Hongjoong knew he couldn’t stop smiling

And he wondered if you already knew how he felt about you

He was sure he didn’t smile like this at anyone else

And you were many things but dense couldn’t possibly be one of them

He knew he was the opposite of subtle

But if you were willing to spend time with him like this then that meant he didn’t make you uncomfortable

Honestly he was so used to the way you made him feel at this point that loving you from afar felt like second nature

Being friends with you was enough if he could keep loving you like this

The waiter came by and asked if it was one check or two

And Hongjoong was fully prepared to pay once again

But you beat him to it

You were already prepared with your card and everything

“I owe you for last time, remember?” you told him with a cheeky grin

He shook his head

“You don’t owe me anything”

“Well then next time it’s on you”

Hongjoong started to smile again

“Next time?”

“Well, yeah” you said with a shrug, now a little bashful “This was fun. We should keep doing it”

“It is fun” he agreed with a laugh “It’s nice to hang out with people outside of school for once”

You laughed at that

“Oh boy tell me about it. Nobody told me that teaching would ruin my social life”

And things just kind of continued like that for a while

Before you had come to the school, Hongjoong had lowkey felt like he was kind of going nowhere with his life

Any time he spent at school outside of his contract hours felt like an infringement on his personal time

Or not even at school, just away from home

He had been hoping that taking a high school position would give him back a little bit of the passion for teaching that he was losing

He hadn’t even been teaching that long it’s just that the profession really is like that

Indescribably rewarding and incredibly draining all at the same time

(Especially these days. Sometimes you really wonder if it’s worth it)

But having something to look forward to every day besides a favorite class ended up being what he needed to love his job wholeheartedly again

It wasn’t just you he had fallen in love with

He had also found new friends in an unlikely place

The math department was like family and he enjoyed their company dearly

But that weirdo phys ed teacher and obnoxious history teacher had turned into excellent friends frighteningly fast

Sometimes they joined you and Hongjoong on your dinner outings

And honestly it was such a blast

An amendment to my previous statement about teachers being teachers because they don’t like talking to other adults:

Other teachers often do not count as other adults

Sometimes they do when you have to have grown up conversations

But gossiping about students does not count as grown up conversation

There were some eighth graders that all four of you had

Hongjoong not currently but he’d had them for previous classes and they were now in your class

Was it a little embarrassing as 20 somethings to have your main source of gossip be preteens?

Yeah but oh man there is nothing like finding out which of your students are lying to their other teachers about the work they need to do

Or what they’re like in other classes

(You and Hongjoong, and sometimes Wooyoung, tended to have very different opinions about some students than San did so it was double fascinating)

Who they’re friends with outside of your class

Or crushes they have on each other

Basically if you spend every day around preteens you gossip like them too

It was now November and starting to get uncomfortably cold outside

So San had offered his home as a little gathering space for you all to order food and hang out

It was almost like a little Friendsgiving

“Any of you have (male student name, obnoxious connotation)?” Wooyoung asked, taking a sip of his soda

You immediately scoffed

“I’m about to write an email home about that kid”

Hongjoong was surprised

Annoying kids existed in every class but you usually had something nice to say about them at first at least before you got into the bad behavior

He hadn’t had this particular student but he was intrigued as to why he annoyed you so much

Wooyoung and San also both looked surprised

“He’s great in gym—like cooperative, doesn’t do stupid stuff too often—” San said “but that doesn’t usually mean anything about how they are in math class”

“No he’s great in history too” Wooyoung added “finishes all his work on time, helps his friends with theirs if he finishes”

Your eye might have twitched a little bit

You let out an unamused laugh and crossed your arms over your chest

Hongjoong was fascinated and quite enamored with this new side of you

“If he has time to help his friends then he should be working on the seven late assignments I’ve been reminding him about. He hasn’t turned in anything for two weeks”

Wooyoung gasped and covered his mouth

“You’re joking”

“I’ve talked to him about it twice and I warned him if I had to remind him a third time then I would email his parents” you said, shaking your head “Like I asked him if he’s understanding the material, if he’s got something going on at home, if he needs some help, and he’s giving me nothing to go off of”

Wooyoung smiled devilishly

“He’s been lying to me, then. I ask him every day if he has other classes to do stuff for and he says no. I will absolutely be getting on him about that”

San shook his head

“Teenagers” he sighed

Everyone nodded and repeated what he’d said

“Teenagers.”

After a moment of silence, Hongjoong spoke up

“How about (female student name, pleasant connotation)?”

The mood lifted immediately and everyone gave their own version of the word “aww”

“She is the highlight of my whole day” you said

“Seriously she’s so polite and she tries so hard even when she’s having a hard time” Wooyoung agreed

“Super athletic too” San added

“Ooh and (male student name, pleasant connotation)?” you said to another chorus of agreement “He’s kind of a punk sometimes but he’s another one that always does his best”

Hongjoong smiled

Complaining was fun, but he loved the light in your eyes when you talked about the parts of the job that you loved

Anyway as I said it was November and the Before Christmas faction of teachers was starting to get nervous because there was no sign of anything happening

They saw you walk out together more than usual but they didn’t know that you were meeting up outside of school and stuff

The kids were also more riled up about it than usual

To the point where Hongjoong wondered if the other teachers were inciting chaos on purpose

It was getting bad enough that one of his classes almost failed a test across the board—on a unit about rounding and converting fractions to decimals of all things

As in the easiest math ever

So Mr. Kim had to resort to drastic measures

At the beginning of all his classes, he drew a box on the edge of the whiteboard

“This is the nonsense box” he explained with a teacherly smile

That is to say frustrated but still filled with love for his students

“Every time one of you is talking about anything that is not related to class, a tally mark goes in the box. Each tally mark represents an extra fifteen seconds you get to sit in your seat after the bell rings”

A chorus of protest arose

“I don’t want to hear it” Mr. Kim shook his head “How many of you are planning on retaking last Friday’s test?”

About half of the hands in the room came up sheepishly

“Exactly. It’s because we’re constantly off topic that no one is able to listen and learn in here. We can do better, okay?”

And then immediately from the back of the room

“Ooh, Miss (L/N) just passed in the hall!!!”

And chorus of “Ooooooh”

Whether it was true or not, Hongjoong was happy to draw his first tally mark without a word

Just that same teacherly smile

Another round of protest came and he drew another one

After the third tally mark, they shut up

“Good. Let’s talk about coefficients. Has anyone heard that word before?”

Once again I will say it was November

And the month after November is December

And December is the month of Christmas

Not just Christmas break

But Christmas itself

And that meant that Hongjoong now

After coming back from a brief Thanksgiving break

Had only a few weeks to find you a Christmas present

Now he wasn’t thoughtless like this wasn’t the first time it had crossed his mind

It had just stressed him out wondering if he would have the guts to confess his feelings for you or if he would be outed somehow first

Plus in case y’all didn’t know teaching (especially teaching around the holidays) is stressful

He just imagined Christmas as this far off date that was too good to ever come

And so he hadn’t even had time to think about what to get you

Something for your classroom?

Something for your home?

A cute accessory?

A fun math shirt?

Not a gift card though that was far too impersonal

Nothing seemed good enough for you

If he were to deliver his feelings with a gift like any of these, it felt insufficient

Most lunches the last bit of November and the first week of December

(If not spent pestering you)

He spent fretting over his Amazon cart with his head in his hands

And then the most unfortunate miracle occurred

The heaters toward the math hall decided working at full capacity was a waste of tax dollars

And the weather was shaping up to be quite uncomfortable

Everyone started to bring blankets and stuff but it was never quite enough

Your classroom was especially cold, since it was the farthest down the hall

So Hongjoong was gifted an opportunity

He went and found one of those soft and cozy electric blankets

In a color he assumed to be your favorite considering how much you wore it and how many of the little trinkets around your classroom were that color

And he packaged it like he had meant to give it to you for Christmas anyway

Then he brought it for you the next day

You were sitting at your desk in your full winter outdoor gear with a blanket that did look cozy but thankfully was not electric

And your teeth were practically chattering as you waved hello

He still hadn’t taken off his coat or his gloves either actually

He set the present on your desk

“I was saving this for Christmas but I think you might need it more now” he told you with a grin

Your curiosity was suddenly piqued

You opened the gift cautiously, glancing up at him every few seconds

But as soon as you felt the material of the blanket, you perked up

And upon discovering that it was electric you could have cried

“I haven’t been able to feel my fingers since last week” you told him gratefully “Seriously I was trying to figure out how many space heaters I would need to buy to survive the winter”

“The department head has one in her classroom” he said “If you grab your old blanket and your laptop then you can let your new blanket heat up here while we hang out over there”

What a beautiful suggestion

The department head raised her eyebrow at the two of you coming in with blankets

But she smiled too when she saw you settling down in front of her heater

“Don’t tell anyone” she said “but sometimes I take a nap over there during lunch”

“Oh I see exactly why” you agreed, sitting cross-legged and setting your computer in your lap “I can literally feel my bones thawing out”

Hongjoong settled down a respectable distance from you

But he thought someone else was pranking him when he felt a blanket drape over his shoulders

He looked around, startled, and then he realized it was the other side of your blanket

You had thrown your blanket over him to share, even though he had one of his own

And now you were pulling his arm to get him to scoot closer to you

Was this a dream??

He would not be happy if his alarm rang

But no it was real and he happily obliged

You were sitting shoulder to shoulder again

Just like at the professional development workshop

Except this time it was so warm and cozy and there was definitely a much less professional vibe

The department head raised her eyebrow at you once again

But Hongjoong was way too enamored with your shy smile to notice

After just a few minutes in this cozy little haven

Your time was unfortunately cut short

Not by students arriving to school

But by Wooyoung poking his head into the classroom

“Oh I’ve been looking everywhere for you guys”

He stepped into the classroom and greeted its owner accordingly

She nodded as if to allow him permission to enter

“They have hot chocolate down in the teachers lounge” Wooyoung informed them “I figured you icicles back here in the freezer rooms would want some but it looks like you were hiding a—” he looked down at the two of you skeptically “campfire back here”

Wooyoung clearly thought he meant something by that but no one else knew what he was trying to say

So his last comment went ignored

“Do you want hot chocolate?” Hongjoong asked you “I can go get some for us”

“No it’s okay I’ll go with you” 

Oh Wooyoung saw exactly what was going on here

Hongjoong did not

Hongjoong was a little confused—was his help becoming an awkward burden to you?

While Wooyoung saw the truth

You just wanted the excuse to walk with him

Now Wooyoung had two choices

He could step back and let you two walk down together, maybe say something to speed this math teacher romance along

Or he could third wheel

And who was Wooyoung if he didn’t pass up the chance to annoy?

Plus he had taken an oath once he started collecting bets that he wouldn’t try to swing the competition one way or another

And since telling you about the hot chocolate while you were together felt like pushing the competition faster, it felt right to pull it back a bit by getting in between you for a few minutes

So he offered hands to both of you to help you off the floor

“Let’s all go together then” he said “You should also find out if your campsite director wants any”

“Campsite director?” Hongjoong asked, shutting his computer

You also closed your computer and set it aside, looking around to figure out who Wooyoung was talking about

“Your gracious host this morning” he clarified, giving the department head a charming little wave

You both took Wooyoung’s hands at the same time and almost pulled him down with you in the process of standing up

As you straightened your pants, you asked the department head if she wanted you to bring her back any hot chocolate, to which she responded yes please

Wooyoung insisted on walking in the middle

And Hongjoong wondered if all of the patience he had acquired as a middle school teacher was going to be spent on not wringing this guy’s neck this morning

Fortunately Mr. Jung acted enough like one of Mr. Kim’s students that he was able to pretend he was one and just let it go

Unfortunately by the time they got back to the department head’s classroom kids were starting to show up so that was the end of artificial campfire cuddle time

But there was a silent agreement as you picked up your blankets and computers that you would be doing this again sometime

The first few weeks of December didn’t necessarily fly by but they did go by quickly in hindsight if that makes sense

And before everyone knew it

Christmas break was upon you

And there was no further progression of the math department couple

The Before Christmas teachers had gotten antsier and antsier right up until the day before break started

But thankfully no one had been worried enough to interfere

Hongjoong decided to stay in his classroom that day

(As if he didn’t stay in his classroom every day)

Because people had been giving him disappointed looks all over the school and he was tired of it

Even the principal had made a trip to Hongjoong’s classroom the Friday afternoon before everyone left

Just to tell him how disappointed he was that he hadn’t had the guts to make a move even when he knew the principal’s precious money was on the line

And ask him if you were secretly dating already and just didn’t want to make a big deal about it

But ultimately to wish him luck and a nice break

A few minutes after he left, you popped into his classroom

You had your bag and your coat and it looked like you were ready to head home

“Are you so ready to get out of here?” you asked

He stopped immediately in the middle of his task and slammed his laptop shut

Contract hours had ended a whole minute ago and he had wasted a whole minute still doing work? On break?

“Say no more” he said, standing up and putting his coat on “We should have left five minutes ago”

“Wholeheartedly agree” you replied “I would have but the principal visited me and I felt like I had to look like I was doing something”

Hongjoong froze

The principal had visited you too?

Why?

For what purpose?

Betting purposes?

This technically didn’t still count as Before Christmas Break right?

“That’s weird haha he came and visited me too, like ten minutes ago” he said with the normalest most unbothered tone he could manage

(He tried)

(His voice was not quite an octave higher than usual)

(Which is considerable improvement since it’s usually an octave and a half)

“Maybe he’s just making rounds” you said with a shrug “It’s nice to see how much he cares about this school. Definitely one of the better principals I’ve worked with”

Hongjoong relaxed perhaps too visibly

“Yeah if you need a guy to have your back he’s got it no question”

“Anyway if you don’t have any plans for the day after Christmas you should spend it with me”

If Hongjoong had been drinking something he would have choked

Even if he’d had plans in the first place he would have canceled them for you

“My day is wide open” he said “As is almost all of my break”

You smiled and his stomach did a flip

He wondered if it was ever going to stop doing that

He hoped not

“Mine too. If you’re bored, you can probably text me and I won’t be doing anything”

Was it cringe that he was now looking for technically his second Christmas present for you?

Yeah maybe but that was his lifestyle now

To quote N.Flying’s Lovefool “if they call me a lovefool it’s okay as long as it’s for your sake”

Even if you didn’t see him that way that was A-Okay

Anyway he found some cute little math-themed trinkets like pi earrings and a right triangle pin that said “I’m always right”

Because actually who are math teachers if they don’t like puns

And the morning after Christmas Day he wrapped them up all nice for you

And he got ready to meet you at a little restaurant you now frequented together

But this was actually like the first time he was meeting you on a whole day off so he had to figure out how to dress not like a teacher but still kinda nice

He had no idea

All of his pants were teacher pants

His shirts? All teacher shirts

He was way too good at dressing for his job

So he wore jeans instead of his usual khakis and hoped that was different enough?

He also layered one of his graph paper teacher shirts with a plain t-shirt underneath and didn’t button it up

He looked himself up and down in his mirror, trying different poses to make sure he looked like a Normal Guy

In the end he decided his hair was the only issue

He only knew how to style it in a teacherly fashion

And leaving it unstyled wasn’t an option

So he looked up some tutorials on some easy styles but he just could not see himself as anything other than a math teacher

So he gave up and just prayed that he looked okay

You looked perfect of course

The difference was subtle in theory but the way you dressed, the way you did your hair and makeup, it made for a world of difference

Oh you looked so gorgeous he was never going to get over it

Your eyes practically sparkled when you met him out front and man he thought before that he couldn’t be more in love with you but he was wrong

You did seem a little more awkward today than usual and he couldn’t figure out why

Like you almost seemed nervous

What for? It was just him

You got your food and he suddenly remembered the gifts in his pocket

“Oh!” he exclaimed, pulling them out “I know I gave you the blanket a few weeks ago but I found these and I knew you had to have them. Merry double Christmas?”

You covered your mouth to hide your laughter and your bite of food

“That’s so funny because I found something for you too”

And you pulled a little package out of your bag

Down bad wasn’t even a good descriptor anymore and neither was head over heels like there had to be a stronger silly description of being in love and if there wasn’t it would have to be invented for him

You had found him a shirt that said “Math is hard. So is life. Get over it.”

(Tbh an actual shirt that I own)

And he promised you he would be wearing it the day you all got back from break

As for his silly little gifts you adored them

You put the pi earrings in immediately and started brainstorming what do do with the other things out loud

He could not have been happier with himself

And then you caught him staring at you

You paused in your excited little ramblings

He sat up a little straighter, wondering what to say next

But you smiled and looked down at your plate

“You’re pretty cute, you know that?” you told him, unable to meet his eyes for more than a second

In front of you, his first instinct was to deny the possibility and he followed it without thinking

“Eh, no I’m not—not in comparison to you, anyway”

Hmm if he wanted to keep his feelings secret then that was not the thing to say

But you deserved to know it

Not just cute but beautiful

Heartstoppingly so

You took the compliment well anyway

“Have you ever thought…” you began, trailing off

You watched him as he waited for you to continue, his eyes wide and curious

“Never mind” you dismissed with a casual wave of your hand

“No hey what were you going to say?” he asked

“Nothing I just had a weird thought for a second”

“No no come on! You know I wouldn’t judge you for anything”

You hesitated again and he could see that same nervousness he’d noticed before

“Have you ever thought…I don’t know” you put your elbows up on the table “of us as more than friends? Like dating maybe?”

Once again he was going to be very upset if his alarm clock went off now

But even if this was a dream, there was no harm in saying it out loud

“Every day since the day I met you” he answered honestly

You blinked like you didn’t believe him

“You’d better not be joking because I mean this like I’m risking our whole professional relationship here—”

And then he realized

You literally had no idea about him

Genuinely no clue that the whole school knew exactly how you had him wrapped around your finger

Except you

“—on the slightest chance that you might feel the same way—”

“Hey” he stopped you softly “I would never joke about how I feel about you”

Embarrassment began to set in for both of you

“Seriously,” he said, holding back a laugh, “you can ask any of my students, any of the teachers. I think you were the last one to find out that I have a massive crush on you”

“Oh no you’re kidding!” you exclaimed, your hands coming up to hide your face

“I really wish I were—Wooyoung has two rounds of bets going with the teachers about when and how we would end up dating. It’s just about me though—I don’t think anyone else knew about you”

You buried your face further in your hands

“That is so embarrassing” you whined “Seriously I might kill Wooyoung when we get back from break”

“I’ll help you” he promised

You ended up deciding to tell the other teachers on account of the bets they had placed on you

But you asked them not to tell the kids

Hongjoong was comfortable dealing with them at this point and he didn’t see the point in subjecting you to the attention he got about it

Speaking of the bets

No one won any of them technically

The two categories were before/after Christmas break and you notice/he confesses

And since you confessed during Christmas break well

As tempting as it would have been to say that you two deserved the money

(Especially on those teacher salaries)

You just made Wooyoung give it back to everyone who had put money down

And honestly? Very little about your at school dynamic changed

The kids still teased Hongjoong every day about his obvious soft spot for you

But he didn’t care because he knew better than they did anyway

You did actually start to notice now that kids were gossiping about you and Hongjoong

And it was really funny actually

Especially when he stopped by your classroom and the kids went dead silent watching you

Or when you left his classroom and you heard the kids explode with their weirdo little preteen comments from just outside in the hallway

Wooyoung insisted on telling you about every time you were mentioned in his classroom

This included the story about the girl rejecting a boy because quote no one can like anyone as much as Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N) enquote

And you about died from laughter and embarrassment

Because how had you missed every single sign thrown your way??

It was so obvious now that you were dating him and you knew why he spent as much time as physically and contractually possible in your classroom

Because like I said very little about your at school dynamic changed

He still treated you almost exactly the same way

Except now if you were having a bad day he could hug you and kiss you on the head and tell you that everything would be okay and you were a good teacher

And if he got cold he could come to your classroom and have you sit on his lap while you shared your blanket

You were very very careful with any displays of affection by the way like it was only behind a locked door that you would even dare

Because firstly unprofessional

A literal breach of the code of ethics more likely than not

And secondly what if the kids saw you???

The other teachers were whatever like you didn’t really want them to walk in on you either but at least they were other adults

But the kids??? 

There were already too many rumors flying around the school about you and they did not need a even whispering of confirmation

The end of that came of course when you got engaged like a year or so later idk and you showed up to school with a ring on your finger and the kids went wild

“Mr. Kim she has a ring!!!”

“Mr. Kim what are you going to do?? She’s gonna get married!!”

“Mr. Kim you must be heartbroken”

You had prepared for this together

You had known it was coming so you knew you had to be ready for the chaos it was going to cause

So you had decided that he would also start wearing a ring to match even before the wedding

So to all his very concerned students he got to hold up his hand and say in the coolest most chic manner possible

“And who do you think gave her the ring huh?”

It was like setting off a nuclear bomb of middle school gossip but it was so worth it

Anyway breaking the chronological flow going back in time because this needed to be the last scene

The cutest change with your at school dynamic now that you were dating was now you could exchange secret messages on sticky notes with the papers you traded

He started it by handing you a test key to check with a sticky note on the top that you assumed was a label for what the test was

But on closer inspection it was a pickup line

“The limit of my love for you is like the limit of 1/x as it approaches 0; it doesn’t exist”

So you wrote back on the same sticky note “well mine is like 1/x^2 and it approaches infinity so there” and handed it back to him once you checked his key

Not to be outdone he wrote you a new note

“Girl are you a 30° angle inscribed in a circle because you’re acute-y pi”

Oh that one was bad

You had to give him something worse

“If we’re both math teachers, how come we have so much chemistry?”

You handed him that one in between classes

And as he read it he had to disguise his sudden laughter as a cough because there were kids around and they didn’t need to be curious about what he was laughing at

His next sticky note had a crease down the middle horizontally

128√e980

You recognized it immediately but you folded it in half to reveal the secret message anyway

“I love you”

So you gave him back “I hope you like fractions because you’re my other half”

You stored all these away in a little file on your computer titled “Valentine’s Day Math Jokes”

Maybe for some future Valentine’s Day activity

But mostly just to keep them all somewhere safe where you could look at them any time you wanted

Without some kid being like “oooh Miss (L/N) whatcha lookin at”

Your favorite note from him was about as simple and dorky as they came

Much like Hongjoong himself actually

Simplify 2x+6i<2(x+9u)

First you distributed the 2 on the right

2x+6i<2x+18u

Then since there was a 2x on both sides, you could subtract them and cancel them

6i<18u

Then divide by 6

And the answer made you smile every time

i<3u

(so I know how I wrote this so fast actually. I just have a goal to write 250+ words every day and uh pretty much every day of the month of January ended up dedicated to this one. Someone said Math Teacher Hongjoong and I (graduated in December with a math teaching degree, student taught in a middle school for 4 months) went feral over it whoops)

Masterlist

[arminsumi]

omgg i love ur writing broo it has my giggling, kicking my feet n shi and the fact that u also do fem black readers OMG I LOVE U anyways putting my appreciation aside, what abt nerdy freaky armin (if u havent already ofcc) like u cant tell me that man is FREAKYY (i ❤️ freaks)

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤

A/N: you are the cutest patoodiest 💗 mwa thank u sweetiepie! and ur absolutely right UR ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!! yk what they say it's alwaysss the quiet nerdy ones!! 🥰

Pairing: ARMIN Arlert x f.reader

Summary: Min's the nerdy valedictorian with a freaky side 🥰

Warnings; 🔞 mdni, SMUT, this isn't fully proofread 👀, sub.Armin/some light dom.Armin, stereotypes (nerd, popular girl), mean reader, dirty talk, public sex (library, during class), facial, handjob (reader giving), oral (reader giving), light humiliation/degradation, bondage (blindfolding, tying hands), mean names (freak, loser), creaming in his pants, hair pulling kink, slapping kink, begging, toys (vibrator), use me kink (or whatever it's called), lmk if i missed some i was in a freaky state of mind while writing lmfao

♪ spice up your life come and get a freak

Min is the quiet blond boy that sits next to you every chance he can get. He follows you like a puppy from class to class, trying his best to interest you — the pretty popular girl of his wet dreams — with every nerdy topic that comes to mind.

Yes he's blabbing your ear off about the importance of maths, but really he's thinking about what what color panties you wear. Do you prefer lace or plain? What's your favorite position? Do you prefer backshots? Missionary? Full Nelson? Mating press?

You wouldn't suspect the school's valedictorian to have such a nasty mind.

He just can't wait 'till you give him a taste. He knows you will 'cause he's been so good to you, always helping you study for tests and even taking notes for you when you're skipping class. He's been such a help.

The first time is his fantasy come true; you jerked him under the desk during a lecture. He shuddered n tried to focus on what the professor was saying, but how could he with your fingers wrapped so tightly around his pulsing cock? :( The poor boy came in his pants and enjoyed every second of it, even when he had to embarrassedly excuse himself after class to 'tend to an emergency'.

He loves when you make his glasses fog up from how hot his face is and how heavy he's breathing. He loves when you make them slide down the bridge of his pretty nose, mouth hanging open while you make out with his cock in the library.

That all started because he asked you "can you k-kiss my cock?"

Now he melts and falls apart, desperately muffling his moans by biting down on his thin textbook. When he's close he grabs a fistful of your hair n tugs your head back, pulling you off his cock with a sloppy pop — starting to jerk himself over your face.

"C-can I cum on your face?" he pants, already deciding that he would regardless of what you say. He had to see his milky white cum painting your face.

"Oh? You're a fucking freak," you giggle sweetly, sending a rush through his body, "Of course you can cum on my face."

He absolutely folds when you call him a freak. He lives for the moments you expose his kinks, too.

Of course he's into bondage, why wouldn't he be 🙄 he loves using a neat silk tie as a blindfold... on himself, not you. He squirms and whines and pleads, "Let me see you, please."

Don't forget to cuff him to your bed and milk him nicely!

If you wanna get him achingly hard and sensitive for you, you gotta degrade him :( call him a freak, call him pathetic, call him a loser, humiliate him for cumming in his pants, tell him he's your toy.

And if you wanna make him cum loads then you should consider indulging in his slapping kink — his hair pulling kink — everything. He just wants the popular girl to pull his hair while she rides his cock like a toy.

"Please please please use me — use my cock like your toy n' call me a loser again. Please! Mmm yes yes yes I'm pathetic for you, Y/n ~ " he has the cutest high pitched moans.

He also begs you to use your vibrating toys on his cock :( <3

Speaking of begging... he is always, always begging. Pawing at your skirt to get your attention, eyes pleading for you to sneak off with your favorite loser so you can squeeze in a quickie before class.

Poor nerdy Armin just wants you to fuck him 'till his glasses slip right off, 'till his cock hurts, 'till you wring him dry of all his cum — is that too much to ask for?

[neowinestainedress]

Hey love ur writings! Could you write a shot with Mark the way u wrote for doyoung pls? The needy doyoung and wife trying to find privacy to do it lol

w!: aged up mark (28yo) but only if you care enough to do the math, outdoor teasing, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected s*x, romantic (i guess?)

a/n: dad!nct is making me feel things ngl. anyway, thanks, and hope you’ll like this!

You and Mark have a long story. You had been dating for five years when he decided to pop the question. And now, five years of marriage and two kids later, you’re still as in love as you were when you first met.

And if love is still in the air, the same thing can be said about passion. Mark is still as clingy as he was ten years ago. He will never help you cook (for the safety of the family, he washes and dries the dishes) but he will always make sure to tease you, wrapping his hands around your waist and kissing your neck while he whispers things to your ear, at times innocent, at times things that would make you want to have him right there and then. And you’d do it if only it weren’t for the little ones running around the house. 

He even dares to tease you when you’re outside, busy taking care of the garden. “You used to be braver when we were younger,” he pouts when you slap his hand away, looking around fearing the neighbours might see. “Exactly, we were younger.” 

“Oh, so the rumours are true,” Mark chuckles, “you can’t take me anymore?” 

“Oh, please, shut up, Lee,” you say, playfully kicking him with a swing of the hips. 

“You sure you can?” He teases, kissing your neck while his hands wander on your body, this time cupping your right boob with no impediment. 

Your breath falters as you try to keep your focus on the plants, and you hum in reply. 

“The neighbours are out,” he whispers, dibbling your neck after moving your hair to the side. “We can have a bit of fun.”

You let out a low moan, head rolling back while the hold on the watering can loosens. “Mark,” you whimper when his other hand reaches down, moving on your clit through the fabric of the long dress you’re wearing. 

“Mommy! Daddy! Minjun is drawing on the wall!” Minseo’s scream immediately makes Mark pull away and you drop the can from your hands, splashing it all on your clothes. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” you sigh exhausted, looking at your husband in disbelief. 

Mark chuckles, kissing you briefly. “Get changed, I’ll take care of the modern Pollock,” he says before running inside with your oldest daughter.  

You wish this wasn’t a constant, but it is. Every time you two have some moments alone, something happens. You don’t get mad, after all, Minjun is only two years old and wants to explore the world, especially now that he learned how to walk. But you miss those old days when he would spend most of the time sleeping or playing in the playpen. 

“Mommy!” It’s a Friday afternoon when you think you might finally have the opportunity for something to happen, after Minseo comes back from school with your husband with a big smile on her face. 

“Hi, honey. How was school?” 

“Great! A friend invited me to her place tonight. Can I go?” She asks, swinging her body side by side as she waits for your answer. 

“Of course, you can,” you reply, smiling back. “Come on, let’s go prepare the bag.” 

Getting Minjun to sleep is harder than usual, and you fear that night won’t go as you exactly planned. But you still succeed to make him fall asleep before Mark comes back from dropping Minseo, and have time to get ready. 

You forgot how it felt to slip into lingerie and admire yourself in the mirror, and you can’t wait for Mark to see it. 

“Fuck,” it’s the first thing Mark says when he sees you as soon as he enters the place. “You look — shit — you look perfect.” 

You giggle, finding endearing how his reaction is still as awkward as always. 

“Where’s — uhm — where’s the baby?” He asks, looking around. 

“The baby’s asleep,” you smile, walking toward him in your high heels, studying his face, and watching him gulp with each step closer. “We have all night to ourselves.” 

“If he doesn’t wake up,” Mark whispers, but his eyes are running on your body, stopping on your chest that’s pressed up by the bra and then moving down where the lace lingerie is basically see-through before falling on your legs. “I — I’m speechless.” 

“I forgot it takes nothing to impress you,” you chuckle before pulling him in for a heated kiss. 

“Nothing?” He asks through the kiss, struggling to catch his breath as you hurry to get him out of his clothes. “It’s you,” he says before lifting you up and walking upstairs. 

Once you’re in your bedroom, he lays you on the bed, swiftly getting out of his pants and underwear to be on top of you and kiss you again. You both needed this like air, and it’s clear in the way you are both so harsh and greedy with your hands and lips. 

“You’re so wet,” he whispers when his fingers reach between your legs and he starts moving them in circles on your clit. You don’t reply, not like he needs your verbal confirmation, and not like you’d be able to give it to him anyway. You feel on fire, and so close already. Probably it’s because Mark is really good at this, pushing his fingers in and out, curling them right where it makes you tremble, and sucking your clit until he leaves you breathless, or probably because your body has been left starved for so long, too long. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter, and you don’t care you come so easily. 

“Fuck, babe,” he murmurs, trailing up to kiss you while he keeps pumping his fingers to ride your orgasm. “Missed me much.” 

“So fucking much,” you mumble, pulling him down by his nape. “Need you inside me, Mark,” you whisper, but when he doesn’t obey, you feel your patience wear thin. “Now, Mark. I need you, now!” 

“Damn, alright, darling,” he giggles, pulling out of you before positioning between your legs. “Keep quiet if you want this to last.” 

“He won’t wake up, just fuck me alright.” 

Mark doesn’t say a word, just grabs the base of his dick to push into you slowly, whimpering as he sinks into you and your wet, warm pussy wraps around him. “Fuck,” he breathes out, voice shaky, “it’s been ages.” His hold on your hips tightening as he starts moving, rubbing on your soft skin. 

“Come here,” you beg, wrapping your arms around his neck as soon as he leans closer before doing the same with your legs on his waist. “Needed you so much,” you whisper, running your hand on his back, enjoying the sensation of his soft, bare skin. 

“Me too, honey,” he moans, throwing his head back as he starts picking up a rhythm. 

“More,” you cry out. “Please, Mark. Faster,” you plead, fingers running in his blonde hair, pulling at it until a louder, deeper moan rolls from his lips. 

He utters a curse before his hips start moving faster against you. “You feel so fucking good, shit,” he breathes out. “Won’t last long.” 

“Don’t,” you reply breathlessly, “fill me up, please.” 

Mark would love to make this last more, but he can’t resist you. The way your pussy is gripping him and dripping is making him go insane, not to mention how beautiful you look with your head thrown back, overwhelmed with pleasure while your parted lips let out the prettiest moans he has ever heard. He should remind you to keep it quieter, but he’s too lost in those sounds to care. 

“Mark, please,” you cry out, pushing him closer again. And in that messy, needy kiss, you both lose it, the orgasm hitting you hard, leaving you trapped in a panting mess. 

He stays on top of you for a while, leaving small kisses all over your face and whispering how lucky he is to have you, making your heart burst with joy. But when his arms don’t hold his body up anymore, he’s out of you, rolling to the side, with his arm resting on his forehead as he tries to take deep breaths again.

“Wait,” Mark says, watching you climb on top of him, “what are you doing?” 

You smile smugly. “Minjun didn’t wake up,” you say, grabbing his dick and aligning to your entrance, slowly sinking on it. “I told you we were going to have all night to ourselves.” 

© neowinestaindress; all rights reserved. do NOT repost, modify, or translate any work from this blog on any other platform and claim it as yours. you can find my works on ao3 (neowinestaindress) and wattpad (winestaintedress_; currently inactive).

[luvyunjinxo]

hii could u write for softdom!gp!sakura? thanks 😋

softdom!g1p!sakura x sub!femreader 🥰

switching it up cuz I've been getting so much yunjin fics so thank you anon 🥰 . (long fic btw if you don't mind anon<3 .)

Sakura Miyawaki. She was the most gentlest girl in the school. She wasn't popular but she was well known you know? She was known for her kindest and always being so humble. There was only a few exchanges of "Hi!" or "You're so pretty 🥰" on each others instagram but nothing more.

"Class we have a quiz today. Don't talk to anybody and look at your own paper."

Ugh. You knew you were bad at math. Honestly you didn't even care if you and Sakura weren't close you just needed pure help. You tapped her hand lightly, which for her was the hand she was writing with. She ignored you at first because she was too focused but you tapped her again.

"Yes Y/n-ssi?"

"I'm stuck and I need help, you think you could help me?"

"We're not allowed to talk Y/n." Sakura whispered.

"Miyawaki, Y/L/N. Detention after school I told you I don't condone talking in my class."

Sakura frowned at you. You lowkey felt so bad now. But maybe this was your chance you get closer to her. Honestly being close to Sakura Miyawaki was a dream come true for everyone.

❥

You both showed up to detention after school and started sweeping the floors together. You guys actually got close over time and so you invited her over to teach you a little bit more math. So detention was over and you both made your way to your house.

"You want a glass of water?" You spoke making your way to Sakura. She nodded her head with a small smile. Her smile was lovely. But.. you went to go change out of your school uniform first.

You changed into a cute top (imagine any) and a black skirt. You looked hot as fuck and you knew it. But later then you walked into the room with the glass of water and Sakura's jaw dropped.

"Y/n thats really you? Damn you're stunning." You just giggled it off like nothing but instead she actually had a huge boner for you. You honestly didn't know but just continued off with your math tutoring/hangout session. When you sat down beside her though .. that's when you started to realize her bulge.

HAHAHA. You decided to toy with her because you knew she was so soft like that. Well, not quite yet. You decided to go along with the tutoring session giving her smirks every now and then but now you finally found the chance to tease her.

"Well this has been fun Sakura-ssi ! I think I'm gonna go take a nap now" You said while patting her thighs and then starting to pat up a little more to her bulge. She flinched and it was the cutest reaction ever.

"A-ah okay Y/n." You could tell she was disappointed because she wanted to probably hang out with you longer. She picked up her bag and packed all her stuff and was this close to leaving and shutting the door. You obviously was just watching her leave sitting on the couch.

"Okay you know what, let's just get this over with" Sakura sighed to herself as she walked back in the house and shuts the door leaving you "confused" even though you knew what was about to happen anyways.

She walks over to you, places down her stuff again, and unexpectedly, pulls down her oversized pants. "Okay this is gonna be hard to confess Y/n but .. y/nyoumademehaveabonerandineedsomehelpfixingit. " She blurted out while she sits on the couch again, and being in nothing but boxers.

"What made you feel like this hm?" You said as you made your way to the floor kneeling. "You." she whispered in such a tiny and weak voice you could barely hear her.

"Oh really?" You said while teasing her bulge. "Y-yes Y/n~"

You finally took down her boxers and decided to start sucking on her tip and she goes crazy over it. She starts becoming a whimpering mess gripping your hair and her thighs slowly closing around your head.

"W-wait Y/n b-bend over on the .. f-fuck .. couch f-for me" You complied and went on the couch and bent over next to her while she starts to touch your clothed crotch feeling how wet you are over thin clothing you have on.

"Y/n baby~ you're so wet for me aren't you?" She said as she kept toying with your clit making you needier for her. "D-does mommy want to d-do something about it?" You stammered out. Then in that moment she pulled down your skirt and slowly started to thrust into you.

"You're such a good girl baby. Taking it all in for me, you deserve a reward don't you?"

She started leaving marks all over your neck asking if she was doing okay and if she could continue but all you could make out was whimpers and moans which meant yes. Kissing almost every inch of your body you both were close.

"Y/n !~ " She screamed out while she came in you, and next you eventually came too. You both flopped down on the couch panting and breathing so hard you felt like you were gonna pass out from ecstasy.

"I think we should do that again some other time" She chuckled and you just nodded while you both started to cuddle.

---------------------

GUYS I THINK THIS IS MY BEST FIC YET WHAT DO YOU THINK ?

[heeseungismymanz]

𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎

Synopsis: You and heeseung have been dating for about 3 months now. You both were the most popular people on the entire campus. It was all fine until you two got in a fight because of his ex. But now you have to go your own 𝒲𝒶𝓎.

Mentioning: All of enhypen (heeseungs friendgroup), yunjin lsfm (y/n bestie), yunah illit (heeseungs sister and your bestie), karina aespa (y/n bestie), keeho p1h (y/n ex), yeji itzy ( heeseungs ex ),more..

Pairing: Popular bf!Heeseung x Popular gf!Fem Reader

Taglist: @mitmit01 @mimisxs

Tropes: Loving to Hatred, Lovers to Exes, Friends to Enemies

BOLD = CANT BE TAGGED

Warnings: Cursing,Fighting,love language is pt so will hug,cuddle alot,nothing much,idrk! Tell me if i forgot something!

SFW MINORS ALLOWED!!

°•More under cut•°

"How am i grounded AGAIN and i have a basically broken leg?!" you ask while literally about to cry. Your at your dad's house and all you wanted to do was meet up with your boyfriend. And YOU personally didnt see a problem with it. But your dad did. "아빠는 그냥 친구예요! (dad hes just a friend!)" You yell. The only response he has is "그럼 지금 ��리 친구에게 키스하는 건가요? (so we are kissing friends now?)" What was he talking about? Didnt he or like mom kiss their friends on the cheek when they were younger? Well Heeseung isnt just a friend but whats the big deal? You how old like 17? Does he want you to die single or something?. You didnt physically say it but in your mind you said "무슨 일이 있어도 나는 학교에 갈 것이다. (whatever im going to school.)"

Now your walking to school. May i mind you with a sprained ankle (that is NOT breaking your leg but wtv) and all you hear is "she really is weak!" or "ew her personality is giving ugly but her face is giving pretty!" those insults were WEAK to you and were super childish so you just walked by not giving a single fuck. Soon you made it to class. And the first class had to be math. Heeseung and Yeji sitting in a corner laughing ,smiling and just talking. Then your friends sitting in another death-staring them. You take a seat with YOUR friends and Heeseung's friends. "Hey guys!" You say smiling hiding the fact your annoyed seeing Heeseung and his EX together. "Hey ynnie!" Yunjin says first. You smile then use your phone texting Heeseung "Hey can we talk soon after class?" You see the bubble typing to see a new message "Sure.." What does he mean "Sure.." he's supposed to be the kind, loving boyfriend he always had been. Annoyed you decide to talk to Jake because who doesnt like talking to your boyfriends friend? "Hey jakey!!" You say loud enough for Heeseung to hear. "Oh hi yn!" he says smiling back with his big puppy like smile. "Wanna eat lunch together?" You also say really loud to the point Jay and Sunghoon asks "Can we join?!" at the exact same time. "Sure! Id love to eat with all of you. How bout all of us including Yunjin, Karina, and Yunah join and meet at that boba cafe near by!" You say smiling really big at Jake for no absolute reason then looking back to the others. "OOH YES!" Karina says. "Seems like a good plan" Yunah says. "I should invite hee-" Yunah trys to say "Oh no its fine hes with Yeji anyway. Im sure they have plans together for lunch!" You say practically aiming for them to not come while also cutting off Yunah. "Oh true! Plus we havent been all together for a while like this." Sunghoon adds. "Okay ill text the address." You say. "Also i cant go to any parties for like a week so :/" You add on. "What AGAIN?!" Jay asks. "Yeah i got in trouble for sneakin out tryna meet with someone i shouldnt see." Then the teacher walks in Yappa yappa yappa.

Heeseung texts you. "Lets talk now?" he asks. "Sure meet me at my locker." You text back. Honestly your really scared to the point you might even pee or poop your pants. You havent talked to him ever since the fight. So you dont really know what to say. You lowkey zone out for a few minutes til heeseung shows up. "What do you want?" He asks obviously NOT wanting to be there. "Why the fuck are you with Yeji? Am i NOT your girlfriend?" You asked him quite literally deathstaring him. "Listen she's better anyway like why'd you try punching her?" he asks as if he's trying to avoid the question. "Punching? So i started punching now?!" You say kind yelling in the school hallway. "WHY DOES IT MATTER TO YOU?!" He asks still avoiding the question. "Heeseung its my way or hers. Choose." You say literally annoyed to the point you might drop kick him like a kickball. "And what if i choose hers?" He says. "Im done with this fucking bullshit see me out of this relationship. All i was trying to ask was why your flirting with your ex!" You yell. "OH IM FLIRTING NOW?!" He yells back in defense. At this point Sunghoon, Jake, Jay, Karina, and Yunjin found you and Heeseung. You quite literally almost punched him but then Karina, and Jay held you back. Then you black out.

Now your in the nurses office. All you remember was Karina and Jay holding you back. Nothing more nothing less. The nurse walked in. " Yoon Yn im sorry to say this but you have bruises and have a serious head injury that might not heal really fast because you've been hit in the head by Heeseung." That fucking bitch. How'd you even like a man like that? All because you tried Sneakin out tryna meet with someone you shouldnt see. Wait when did you even meet him?

AN: What an interesting way to end a chapter. Why is heeseung lowkey a bitch in this chapterrrr. Im so sorry i havent been updating but it's because my sports. I literally have volleyball games back to back every week.

< Previous - Masterlist - Next >

[shrimp-buffet]

LARRY & LAWRIE HEADCANONS #3

(Headcanons after the cut, I ramble for a bit)

*head pops out of grave* I'M ALIVEEE

Yeah I know I say this in practically every post but I finally got something again! school and other stuff kicked my ass and honestly i wasn't sure how interested really was in making these until I missed them! So while I can't guarantee any consistent posting knowing me, I can at least say that I do plan to keep doing these and I'm hoping to branch out into other fandoms so that me making these doesn't fully depend on me having a Brawl Stars hyperfixation.

Anyways as a sort of apology for the lack of content, I bring you the follow up I know many have been waiting for: LARRY AND LAWRIE PART 3 BABY!

Hope you enjoy!

Fair warning: this one may be a small bit angsty in some spots. Nothing that would need an actual warning but didn't want to jumpscare y'all with surprise sadness.

Larry based, Lawrie based, both

•Larry's most rebellious action would be putting a soda can in the non-recycling bin... Then feeling extremely guilty and fishing it back out to put it in the correct bin when no one is looking.

•Lawrie has an apocalypse bunker hidden somewhere in the park. It's only for them, Larry, and RT.

•Lawrie likes Bob Ross! They don't like to paint all that much though. Larry does like painting but he's really bad at it.

•They've never been outside the park before. Lawrie is pretty content with that fact and doesn't want to leave, but Larry wants to see what's out there and occasionally asks parkgoers about it.

•Larry gets along well with animals (add this and the last one and Larry is a fricking Disney princess- /j)

•Lawrie is the exact opposite, all animals hate them and they hate all animals in return.

•As somewhat implied already, Lawrie is kind of leaning towards a "hate all biological life" mindset. They don't actually full-on hate lifeforms entirely, but people don't really like them so they don't like people, that kind of deal. This leads Lawrie to sometimes say stuff teetering on the "kill all humans" line but Larry calls it out and Lawrie would always agree they're going a bit too far.

•Larry as usual is the opposite. He finds life and people to be so interesting and envies their experiences. They even somewhat avoid hanging out with other robots because it reminds him that he's also just a robot, though he doesn't even realize this thought process. He would never admit it, but he kind of wishes he was human. Lawrie can sense this so it causes some arguments between the two.

•On a more light-hearted note, Larry has a bit of a crush on Melodie! She's very pretty, sings beautifully, and does whatever she wants and says anything on her mind, all of which Larry loves and admires.

•Out of all the people in the park, Lawrie gets along with Draco and Hank the best. Draco is more of a frien-emy that can get on their nerves a lot but they have a lot of similar interests like music taste. And Hank is a semi-friendly rival.

•Larry, Lawrie, and R-T were all made on the same day. When it comes to the birthday though they celebrate it as R-T's day cause they just love their "baby" sibling. (Plus in Lawrie's case they just don't like the idea of having their own birthday)

•Larry is scared of Cordelius. He just gives them the creeps and somehow always manages to accidentally sneak up on Larry. (Same goes for Lily)

•Larry has a notebook they carry around to do made up math problems in when they're bored.

•Lawrie usually never wishes they could eat food, but he does wish he could try chocolate.

•They tend to play "road trip" games when they're bored on a patrol together. Things like Eye Spy, 20 Questions, Alphabet Game, etc. They both really enjoy it!

•They also listen to true crime podcast together.

And that's all I got for now! Thank you for reading this far!! As always if you'd like more let me know!!!

[yuikomorii]

Ayato is slowly turning into the new “Yui” (she still gets hate too but yk less than other years) of the Diabolik Lovers fandom and I really thought the fandom was healing -jokes on me-

The way they complain about Ayato being too caring now inducing that he’s turning into a simp reminds me of the same people who complained about Yui for not fighting back and calling her weak for that. Let’s just let everyone enjoy whatever characters they want WITHOUT TRYING TO RUIN THEIR FUN ‼️

Also, why did Ayato even get so hated anyway? He was always one of the least horrible ones and right now, after all his development, I don’t find anything so unlikeable about him. He tries to see the good in others despite having such a past full of suffering. If I hear anyone say “because he’s too caring/dumb/immature” I will riot because why would it be bad to be caring with your girlfriend? He isn’t even as immature as people say. Isn’t this the same guy who took responsibility for things that were none of his business but he did so just to help others?

And don’t get me started on the fact he isn’t dumb at all. He’s an idiot because he’s uneducated but his brain power is above average. I played Reiji’s route awhile now and there was this chapter where Reiji helped Yui study for her math test but only after a timeskip she managed to get a right result while in Ayato’s after story, there was the same scene but with different characters and Ayato was able to learn very fast after Yui explained to him and even she found that amazing about him because he started getting all answers right. After I got interested in young blood, I came to the conclusion that he was the only Sakamaki brother who found something suspicious about the ceremony and planned to investigate it. I recall a few other moments but I’m curious to hear if you got a favourite one.

I hope this ask wasn’t too long ;w; I tried to fit my thoughts in but it’s ok if you don’t have time to answer it soon ^^

// So many languages in this word, but you decided to speak FACTS!

The reasons why some people start hating on certain characters, are incredibly embarrassing. Just tell me you didn’t pay attention to the story, without actually telling me that you didn’t pay attention to the story.

They had previously complained about him being too bratty and arrogant, but now that his true side has been revealed, they are still dissatisfied since he is not the "edgy and complex" vampire boyfriend they wanted him to be. Do you like such characters? Good for you but only because you have a preference towards those, doesn’t mean you should tell others how much their bias sucks… it’s just so uncalled??

As you said, something I have always found admirable about Ayato is his ability to be pure-hearted, despite his background. I can’t say anyone got much love yet… Beatrix was strict but she canonically loved both of her children, Christa was mentally ill and had her crazy episodes but it was shown that she still loved and cared for Subaru, and then there’s Cordelia, who truly didn’t show or feel any sort of love towards any of her children. In DF, I’m sure she regretted her actions but saying that she loved Ayato, Kanato and Laito would be an exaggeration. It’s no surprise that the triplets turned out so twisted when they didn’t get a taste of affection or kindness AT ALL. And Ayato’s side goes beyond that, since he literally was the piñata of so many characters.

In YB, he was used as bait, betrayed, and brutally knocked down by ghouls, as well as beaten up to the point of almost getting killed.

In Ayato’s character book, it was confirmed that Cordelia threw him in the lake every time he didn’t study. He had several near-death experiences as a result of her, and she frequently whipped and beat him up.

In the DF prologue, Carla and Shin sent the wolves to especially attack Ayato, not Yui, but Ayato thought they were going after her, so he sacrificed himself for her and used himself as shield so as she wouldn’t get hurt. He got severely injured that in some routes it takes a lot of time until he wakes up from the coma.

In Kino’s LE route, he burns Ayato alive and beats him up afterwards.

Last but not least, he got the Adam curse when he was a child and that’s so painful because it basically means drowning in a state of despair and insanity, until getting to taste something similar to that fig.

final YB chapter

Didn’t count the emotional and mental abuse but the physical one was INSANE. Despite so much torture, even if some of his actions were wrong too, most of the time he continued to value his life and to be empathetic and forgiving to those who mistreated him.

Let's not forget that we're talking about vampires here, who will always be more wicked than humans because, although not inherently evil, they still have a predator instinct, but what's truly fascinating about Ayato's character is that he has such a good soul in spite of learning from an early age that there is no kindness in this world. It's no surprise that Karlheinz was taken aback.

Moreover, I thought everyone was aware that Ayato isn’t actually stupid?? A bunch of his dumb moments are merely used for generating laughter and they’re not meant to be taken seriously. People also need to understand that the Japanese audience loves this kind of characters. They consider him an idiot in the affectionate way, because the lack of knowledge and gullibility make him endearing in their eyes. They don’t think of him as a genuine idiot. After all, nobody would like a character who’s completely dense.

It’s true that he’s impulsive and uneducated, which leads to him making dumb choices but I agree that his brain works faster sometimes than the one of other characters.

One of my favorite scenes is the one in which he eavesdropped on Cordelia, hearing that she only gave Karl children for attention, and he was the only Sakamaki who rapidly succeeded in connecting all of the dots, regarding all of Karl's victims and him being the root of all evil, which was the best revelation reaction in DL. I also enjoyed how, while all of his brothers rushed to kill Karlheinz (except for Laito, who had no battle scene in his route), Ayato was the only one who was like, "I won't kill you because I'd lead your plan to success in that case," and he only killed him after Karl wanted to harm Yui. If you haven't played DF, I recommend saving Ayato's route for last because it provides the most satisfaction.

Don't be concerned about the length! I believe I wrote a lot as well haha, but that's because your ask was so interesting to read! You made some excellent points, and I'm glad you're one of those people that can comprehend a character! 🥹🩷

[karl-raccoon-in-a-teacup]

mango + 7, atsulucy + 9, lemon futon + 4 and 14, ada kunichuu + 6, bramcraft + 2, fukumori + 15

Bestie if I knew you were gonna send me so many I would have sent you more in return. Damn.

Anyways

Mushiango: 7. Which one is the worse driver

It's Mushitaro. I'm not saying he can't drive, but I would like to point out that between him and Ango, one of them has the ability to erase their traffic violations, and the other we have canonically see driving with no problems, therefor I'll let you do the math on this one.

Atsulucy: 9. Which one swears more

See you think I'd say Lucy no questions asked, but honestly I think it's a tie. Lucy tries to avoid cussing in her work environment, meanwhile Atsushi's probably encouraged in his work environment, so in the end I think it balances out.

Lemon Futon: 4.What they do on date night

Hm... I think they either switch it up so each person gets a turn deciding for each date night (Kajii usually drags Katai out places like dinner or the opera, Katai usually decides on movies they can watch or food to order in) and/or date night becomes cuddle nights.

14. What nicknames they call each other

Bean Bag immediately came to mind as something Kajii calls Katai so I'm absorbing that into my personal canon. Kajii probably has sooo many nicknames for Katai, honestly, the most I get from Katai is a sweet petname or two. Darling, love, etc etc. Kajii swoons over-dramatically every time and Katai regrets it every time (but, well, not really).

Kunichuu: 6. How they decorated their bedroom

Kunikida was insistent their room be practical and efficient and neutral, they could always change things up later in life when they were more certain of what they wanted and not just two 19 year olds getting their first space. And while the organization and well-keptness of the room remains...

Well. Chuuya found a cheap pack of those glow-in-the-dark star stickers, and while they started as a joke to see how long it'd take Kunikida to find each one (not just on the ceiling, hidden in corners or just behind furniture) they've both grown fond of them, now.

Bramcraft: 2. What their love letters look like

Not sue about canon/post-canon (especially with. Y'know) but pre-canon? Bram writes The most dramatic, flower, purple prose cursive you've seen in your Life. His letters are essentially poetry, endless and going on and on and calling Lovecraft all sorts of wonderful and beautiful things, never less than two or three pages.

Lovecraft's are cryptic, short, and written in ink. They are always mildly damp, smell like either saltwater or fish, and to most sound more like indecipherable scrawlings than notes of love. But Bram understands them, and treasures each and every one.

Fukumori: 15. What they would change about each other

Oh boy. Okay, so

The thing about Fukumori is they both love this city, both believe in a greater good for this city, and both know this about the other. They just wish the other would agree with their way of going about it.

Fukuzawa thinks Mori's actions are too cruel, too bloody, and in the end that the Port Mafia is not what this city needs. Mori believes the Armed Detective Agency is too ineffective to save the city from true threats, in the end, believes them too soft and that, in the end, Fukuzawa will go with his heart and not his mind.

It's a shame, really, both of them think. Their mutual love for this city, their recognition of one another's dark pasts and bloody hands, are part of what draw them to each other. Yet their different way of handling these are what will inevitably drive them apart.

[reallydumbdannyphantomaus]

Holiday Truce

@ectopal so fucking sorry for the lateness!!! it has been a little wild in my life lately but i did get it done!!! i picked your prompt of dash finds out danny's secret in micromanagement. very sorry if this is not what you were hoping for, but here's what happened :D

“So,” Dash said.

“Uh,” Fenton said.

Dash looked at the shaking nerd in front of him. Fear, he recognized. Fear, he knew. He used it as a weapon, knew how to loom, how to make himself larger and intimidating. Hell, he’d seen it on Fenton plenty of time before.

Except this time Fenton wasn’t afraid of his fists.

“You’re—you’re he? Him?”

“No?”

“Are you lying?”

“... No?”

Dash reached out with a finger and poked Fenton in the shoulder. It was solid. Squishy, but he thought that had more to do with Fenton not being muscular than with him being a ghost. Still, he knew what he saw. This whole time, he’d been shrunk down with Phantom, the cool, brave, awesome hero of Amity Park, the guy he had a poster of in his locker. Then they get unshrunk and Phantom is gone. In his place: Fenton.

Dash wasn’t the best at math, but even he could add this up.

There were thousands of things he could have asked in that moment. Things he’d wanted to say to his hero for years. Thanks for saving us or Can you take me flying? or Can I have your autograph? Instead, what came out was: “So, are you dead?”

Fenton flinched. “No, I—it doesn’t matter. Just—just be quiet, okay?”

“It doesn’t matter?” Dash wanted to thwack himself in the head. He didn’t want to be continuing this line of questioning. Why was his mouth saying this shit?

“Not to you, anyway.” Fenton spoke with such vehemence that all at once Dash was reminded that Fenton being Phantom also meant that Phantom was Fenton. His hero was the same nerd he’d been shoving in lockers since middle school.

“Oh.”

“Look. Just don’t tell anyone, okay? No one would believe you anyway, so just don’t tell anyone.”

“Okay,” Dash said, voice thready and small. What else could he say? Fenton could’ve been kicking his ass all this time, but instead he’d been saving it. If nothing else, Dash could keep a secret.

“Good,” Fenton said, turning to leave.

“Why?”

Fenton stopped without turning around. “Why what?”

“Why don’t you tell people?”

Fenton’s voice was nasal through his sneer. “Try thinking about it. I’m sure the answer will come to you.”

—

The answer did not come to him.

He watched Fenton from a distance, noticed all the signs he dismissed before. Constant bathroom breaks. Bruises in the morning that were gone by the afternoon. Gasps of blue air that always preceded a ghost.

But he never saw why Fenton kept it quiet.

Teachers yelled at him for being late. Other students laughed behind their hands when he fell asleep at his desk. Paulina watched him rush out of class to the “bathroom” and whispered, “He should start wearing a diaper to school if he goes so much.” He tried to chuckle, but all he could manage was the slight curling of his mouth, and even that was strained. Paulina would never say something like that if she knew the truth. Fenton would have so much support from everyone in the school if he would just tell them the truth.

So, yeah. He didn’t get the secrecy.

Fenton, though, had avoided Dash like the plague. He’d never sought Dash’s company out before, but now the sight of Dash’s shadow was enough to have him scampering away. He tried to corner Fenton once, in the janitor’s closet, but forgot about the whole ghost thing. Since there was no one else around to see, Fenton just walked through the back wall, leaving Dash alone with the mops.

What was he supposed to do?

It felt like a secret of this magnitude should change things more. True, he couldn’t bring himself to shove people around anymore (what if some of them were secret heroes, too?) but otherwise, life went on. He went to football practice. He failed his math test. He laughed when Kwan made fun of Lancer’s pants falling down (again).

He stared at Danny Fenton across the cafeteria.

Danny Fenton did not look back.

—

No one in Amity Park liked the Guys in White. They only ever got in the way of Phantom trying to do his job, while being utterly ineffective. Even the Fentons did more to keep the city safe from dangerous ghosts—mostly through supplying anti-ghost tech and not through actual hunting, but it was still more than the GIW ever did.

So when the GIW locked down the school, most everyone rolled their eyes in disgust.

Every once in a while, the GIW had one of these sessions. He wasn’t entirely sure what the point of them was, but it usually involved a bunch of dumb questions about whether they’d talked to any ghosts. Like they were all conspiring against the government with the ghosts, or something.

(Well, he probably would, given the opportunity, but he hadn’t exactly talked to a lot of ghosts who weren’t trying to kill him. The only ghost he knew personally hated being in the same room as him.)

“Have you had any contact with the ghost masquerading as a musician, known as Ember McClain?” The agent in white drummed his fingers on the desk. Dash had the sudden urge to bite his pinky.

Dash furrowed his brow. “I think she is actually a musician, though?”

“What?”

“Ember. She does, actually, like, play guitar and sing. So I think she’s a real musician? Just. You know. A ghostly one.”

The agent leaned into his face. “So you have had contact with her.”

Dash leaned back. “Uh, no? Not since the time she mind controlled a bunch of us. Which I don’t think is my fault.”

“And you haven’t sought her out since?”

“Uh, no. I don’t actually enjoy being mind controlled.”

“Hm. And the menace known as Phantom?”

Dash barely kept his shoulders from tensing. “What about Phantom?”

“Have you contacted him?”

“I mean, he’s saved me a couple times. But he saves everyone.”

The agent snorted. “That’s what the ghosts want you to think, kid. Make no mistake: all ghosts are the same: evil, greedy, and power-hungry. We don’t yet know what Phantom’s true intentions are. It’s our job to get that creature off the streets and into containment, where he belongs.”

Dash was never the smartest person, but sometimes, when all the pieces were in front of him, he could add two and two and get four. He remembered the Fentons echoing the agent in front of him almost word-for-word. Or maybe this agent was echoing them.

Either way, Dash finally knew why Danny Fenton had a secret.

Dash curled his hands into fists. Fenton didn’t want to talk to him; that much was abundantly clear. But Fenton had still saved his life, saved the lives of everyone in the town, the world even. He could do this much for him.

“Look, dude, you think what you want,” Dash said. “I can’t exactly change your mind. Never been good at persuasion. But,” he said, and he stood up, crossing his arms and hooding his eyes, “no one else here believes your bullshit, dude. We know the truth, no matter what you say.”

“Mr. Baxter, the science—”

“I don’t care what studies you’ve faked. I’m telling you right now that if you seriously go after Phantom like you would any other ghost, you’re going to have to go through the whole town first,”

And Dash wasn’t very smart. And he wasn’t persuasive. But he knew fear. He was 16. This agent was probably somewhere in his thirties. By no means should the man be afraid of him. But Dash knew how to make himself bigger. Dash knew just where to strike someone, just what made them scared. This man was only as brave as his badge. A whole insurrection? One aimed at him? That thought terrified him.

The man was silent.

Dash smiled a shark’s smile. “Do yourselves a favor and leave Amity Park alone. We’ve got it handled from here.”

The door swung shut behind him as he left the agent alone in a dark room, still stuttering for a response.

[smashboxgirl26]

i will keep falling

bakugou x gn! reader / college au a/n: happy birthday to me ig >:))

It’s funny to think of the way you squeezed your way into Bakugou’s life without much effort. 

Sure, it started off through a randomly assigned group project — but he’d rather not think of it that way. Maybe it was all the romance novels he’d jumped back into after he’d met you, but he liked to think that it was planned —

That you would both be paired up, and that the two of you would end up going to Kirishima’s stupid Halloween party together after only two weeks of friendship just to become inseparable ever since.

It was strange to think that a person he’d never even talked to until a couple of weeks ago was now the first person on his mind everyday, the person who appeared most on his notification bar (in both calls and texts), the person he wanted to tell everything to (though he believed he’d already told you almost everything there ever was to know about him) — and he knew that it was vice versa.

It was — strange, to say the least, to feel that open with someone while whole–heartedly knowing they felt the same way as you did. The wall he’d so meticulously built had fallen with just the tap of your finger — and he hadn’t tried to stop you.

The weekends you would end up crashing at his apartment after a party, stumbling through his hallway while drunkenly laughing at everything he did to try and keep you quiet; the quiet moments spent in the library that were supposed to be for studying though they always devolved into you doodling in his notebook; sleeping on top of him during movie nights, your head on his chest, his fingers running through your hair — every moment spent with you made him feel awake, as if every experience with you was something new.

“It’s so weird that we wouldn’t have been friends if it wasn’t for that group project,” you’d said to him a couple of days ago — the both of you sat under the tree in the quad to soak up the last good weather before winter hit.”

“That’s true,” he’d murmured back, though he rolled his eyes because he was doing his math homework while you just scrolled on your phone. “But I still think we would’ve ended up meeting somewhere.”

“How?”

“I dunno,” he looked up, pen now resting against his textbook. “We would’ve met at Kirishima’s party anyway, right? ‘Cause your friend was dragging you there before you even knew I was going.”

“That’s true,” you hummed — staring off while the sun melted in your irises. “Or at the Journal meeting, since they assigned us to work on that article together.”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe we were just destined to be friends,” you turned to him with stupidly sweet smile, one that he couldn’t stop his heart from pounding at. “Seems as though we were gonna meet at some point, right?”

And maybe it was just the little asshole that still resided within him, but he couldn’t but respond with — “Don’t get all cheesy on me just ‘cause we watched When Harry Met Sally yesterday.”

But the more he thought about it, the more it seemed true. Though their situation was different, it was also kind of the same — two people who seemed destined to be together, even if it took them through the more scenic path to get there. The only benefit was that the both of you didn’t have to lose touch with each other over the span of several years to get to this point — it was almost instant.

And now, even through the noise of the cheering crowd around the rink, Katsuki could only find himself staring at you in the stands as you waved at him, encouraging him to play his best with his large letterman sitting atop your shoulders. 

The effect you still had on him — the one you had on each other — was huge.

And while sometimes he would love nothing more than to stand on the ice and just think about every aspect that you've both shared with each other, as your boyfriend, he couldn’t exactly let you down — not when you advertised so proudly who you were rooting for. 

He’d win this game for you and kiss you as hard as possible as soon as he could make it up to the bleachers.

[seriesxwriting]

420

W Rafe Cameron <3

Series- outer banks

Summary- Your the good girl, Rafe’s the bad boy. It’s 420. Wait that’s perfect. It’s Rafe’s opportunity to put some bad in the good. Will you turn to the dark side for a day?

Warnings- drug use (weed), swearing, kissing.

“Hey beautiful” rafe ran up past me so he could hold the door open. “Hey, thanks” I giggled walking through the door, Rafe dropped it on all the people walking behind me and caught up starting a conversation. “How was maths?” He hummed as we walked out into the busy car park, the hot sun was beaming down on the two of us. “When is maths anything but awful” I asked looking across at the brunette boy. “True” Rafe agreed with me letting lose a little snigger. “YO RAFE? You coming or what?” Kelce yelled from the other side of the car park. He was standing with topper and a bunch of the usual boys that Rafe hung with. “Where you off to today?” I queried thinking nothing of it. Stopping to find my keys in my messy, over cluttered bag. “It’s four twenty, where do you think” he lifted his eyebrows up like I was supposed to know what that meant.

“Excuse me?” I stared at him pressing my lips together so I didn’t let out a laugh. “Four twenty” Rafe repeated with a mischievous grin. “You keep saying that like I know what it means” my shoulders shrugged to show him I did not understand. “National smoking day y/n” “so you guys are off to smoke your vapes and some cigarettes then” “not that smoking” he shook his head giggling. “That’s on Rafe for not explaining it properly” topper chuckled appearing behind me with kelce by his side. They slowly entered the conversation, inviting themselves. “National weed smoking Day” Rafe wiggled his eyebrows making me look back at him. “Oh” I blinked feeling kinda awkward now. Of course I didn’t understand 420, I’d never done weed! I was an angel, I’d never even vaped! and I’d only been drunk two or three times in my life.

“Your welcome to come” Rafe put his head on his shoulder, my heart bagan racing from the panic that was spreading quickly over me. “I um…” I licked my lips looking at the three faces staring at me. “I wouldn’t even know the first thing” I shook my head, kelce and topper looked over at rafe who wasn’t ready to give up. “You can say no we’re not trying to peer pressure or anything but if your only worried about not knowing then you don’t have to be” he beamed cutely in my direction, he could be so sweet when he wanted to. Me and Rafe had always been good friends right from lower school but we were on two very different paths, we are two very different people with different attitudes. “I dunno” “you only live once y/n” topper grinned knowing I was swaying towards wanting to go. But yet I still looked at Rafe uncertain. “How about- you come anyway, if you want to smoke when your there you can, if you don’t you can just chill with us” rafe shrugged lightly. This i could agree to.

“Okay” I nodded a few times trying to convince myself almost, swallowing the nerves down my dry throat surrounded by the three smoking professionals. “Great, I’ll ride with you and we can meet them there” Rafes face lit up in excitement and he practically ran round the car to get in the passengers seat. “See you soon” topper patted my shoulder when walking past me with kelce, back off to the group of boys. I quickly got into my car and let out a deep breath gripping the steering wheel with my sweaty Palms. “What am I doing” I blinked looking over at rafe. He’s head was rolled to the side looking my way while slouched in my passenger seat with his legs in a man spread, hips forward. He looked hot, he always looked hot though. “Good girl meets bad boy- this was bound to happen sooner or later” he voiced to my rhetorical question.

My finger came to my mouth and it bit down nervously turning away from Rafe and looking straight rethinking the situation. “Y/n you’ll be fine, i promise I won’t leave your side until your back home in bed” “what if I don’t like it? How will I get home” I whipped my head around with wide eyes as if I was already high. “Then I will take you home, you name it I’ll do it I promise” “what if your high and- and you go back on your promise?” “That’s not How being high works” Rafe shook his head vigorously and moved his hand to my thigh. For some reason I immediately felt calmer when he did which I didn’t think was possible, but after all it was Rafe Cameron. “I’m just- im just gonna drive” I told myself out loud and so I did. Rafe didn’t remove his hand which I was kinda glad of. I drive for five minutes before Rafe muttered “I like being your passenger princess”. I looked at him without humour but him trying not to laugh made me laugh too. “It’s um- it’s not as bad as people make it out to be” Rafe began, changing the subject.

“I’ve never heard anyone say weed was bad” I told him honestly “because everyone does it” Rafe laughed out like he knew something. “Like- you know when Jasón did his presentation this morning” “he wasn’t high?” I frowned jerking my head back “yes he was I smoked with him before school” Rafe laughed again finding this funny. “oh” “and Jenny when she did her assembly, she was fried” “Jenny does weed?” I quizzed almost choking on my words. Rafe nodded and it slowly sank it to me that I was innocent. Next level innocent. “Have you realised how shielded you’ve been?” Rafe lifted an eyebrow pointing at the direction to go. “Something like that” I muttered pulling into some secluded area with two cars parked already. It was pretty much all covered by trees. “Okay- let’s do this” i nodded to Rafe feeling more of an urge to stop being protected from it all. “It doesn’t have to mean anything- just try it and if you ever wanna do it again you know who to call” he winked before getting out of the car. Before I could answer. Or even think of an answer.

Kelce, topper and a few of the boys (Leroy, Adam and grant) from before all got out the cars and came over to meet me and Rafe. “All set?” They all shared a mischievous grin and then patted the backpacks they were wearing. “All set” topper nodded towards a gap in the trees on the other side. “What’s through there?” I whispered to Rafe running to his side, he looked down at me and threw an arm around my shoulder with a smirk. “Just wait and see, best thing about hanging with us is you get to see all our secret spots” he told me running his tongue over his teeth. “Come on guys it’s five past four hurry up” Leroy hurried everyone along. As I stepped through the trees it was like another world, i soon saw that they were hiding a gorgeous secret beach with golden sand, little seashells and light waves stretching over the sand. Trees made perfect shade for us to sit under at the top of the beach, until the sun went away anyway. The boys all sat on their coats in specific places, they were used to this. I felt slightly out of place, I was inexperienced and this was the biggest day of the year for them. That was until rafe waved a gold, metal tin under my nose distracting me from my thoughts.

“Here, don’t do anything yet it’s not time but I’ll show you” he pulled out what must have been the weed as when the lid came off the strong smell crawled up my nose. Rafe put it to his lips and then pulled out a lighter making a flame. “Then you put your hand like this so the wind doesn’t blow out the flame and light it” he taught me passing the roll and lighter to me.  “when?” I asked him quietly scotching closer to him. “Four twenty on the dot” he smiled, as i looked around everyone now had a lighter in hand and a splif in their mouths. Rafe got himself ready just as topper began counting down like the idiot he is. “Three- no three twooo- oooo ONE” he shouted and everyone lit a flame. I did exactly what Rafe taught me, the lighter was tricky it took me three attempts but lighting the weed wasn’t overly hard. Everyone took a long pull, “Happy 420!” They all shouted holding their joins in the air and smoke rising from their mouths.

I turned away from everyone when I took my first pull, surprisingly I didn’t cough. “You didn’t inhale” Rafe told me without judging “and you don’t need to hide no one cares it’s your first time we were all you once” topper told me comfortingly. “I know I just….” I trailed off shyly “Here like this” Rafe showed me on his own one. I copied and it went straight to the back of my throat this time. “You got it good job- You get used to the taste” he smiled opening his arm out. I wriggled over putting my head on his shoulder and then taking another pull on it, Rafe was half done already. “Only take a few pulls then put it out and go back to it if you want- don’t over do it for your first time” he told me rubbing my arm with his thumb, I felt the cold metal of the lighter too. “I can’t feel it” “it all hits you at once plus people have different tolerances” kelce told me blowing out his own smoke. I knew they were the experts but still I took another pull thinking nothing of it and then put it out laying it back in the tin. Rafe wrapped me up tighter in his arm as he slowly came to finishing his one. “You okay?” He checked with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m fine” I smiled up at him beginning to enjoy the gathering.

“So speaker or high talk?” Grant asked the group before laughing out loud a little too much. He was picking up number two now and so was Rafe who also burst out laughing causing me to vibrate. “I do have something to say- about mrs smiths new haircut” grant carried on, everyone began sniggering remembering back to it today. “She had to her hairline is non existent now” kelce chuckled with his join at his lips. “It make it way more bate that she’s trying to cover it up though” I added in while giggling a bit myself. As they carried on talking I took my zoot and lit it up again as I still couldn’t feel anything and everyone else was still smoking and clearly high. I took one pull and then another and another. I went to take another one but when I looked down at it the high slammed me in the face.

My hand started shaking and my heart beat abnormally fast. Rafe clocked pretty quickly and he took the joint off me putting it out and dropping it into the tin, then he took the lighter. “Feel it now huh?” He asked worriedly seeing that I was feeling uncomfortable. My legs had fallen flat and I was putting all my weight on Rafe now. “Yep- am i going to die?” I looked up at him worriedly. “No beautiful your not, let’s go for a walk” he whispered to me. Rafe helped me stand up and then held me by my waist as we left the group with out telling them why. “This is fucking- weird” I blinked at the sun while me and Rafe walked down towards the sea out of sight. “It’s pretty expensive to feel like this and it doesn’t last forever so just enjoy it while it lasts” Rafe told me rubbing my hip. “I can’t believe I’ve done it- I’m not a good girl anymore” I giggled looking up at rafe. He was already staring at me. “Oh you definitely still are, it’s what I like so much about you- that we’re so different yet we get on so well” “is this like being drunk? Where I won’t remember it in the morning?” I asked wishfully.

“No you’ll remember it” he laughed gently. “Well if it was- I might have said something on the lines of im glad you invited me today because I like spending time with you” Rafe caught his lip in between his teeth “so do I- that’s why I tried so hard to get you to say yes” “your the only reason it wasn’t an instant no” I shrugged slightly being honest with him, he deserved honesty. “And if this was like drinking- I might do something that could be a little stupid like kiss you”, Rafe double took trying to understand what I just said. He couldn’t decide if I was joking or not. “That- um- probably wouldn’t be stupid- because if it Where like drinking I’d kiss you back” he told me shakily, testing my waters. I took a seat on the hot sand and waited for rafe to Sit down too. “Shame it’s not like drinking” I told him with a smirk when he landed next to me. “Shame indeed” he looked across at me, his eyes flicked to my lips only for a second but I still noticed. I’m that moment I leant in towards rafe, he knew exactly what was happening he leant down to me and his hand flew up to my face. His pink lips were soft but all I could taste was the weed on our breath. It didn’t ruin the kiss though.

The kiss began to get harder and rafe pulled me onto his lap without breaking it. We didn’t need air, we had each other. “Stop” he whispered pulling away looking down. “What’s wrong?” I began to climb off him but Rafe grabbed my hand not wanting me to go anywhere. “If I don’t stop myself now I won’t be able to” he told me, one of his hands moved to my thigh resting it there. “And I will not show you how much I’m falling for you here” “w…” I blinked with parted lips at the boy, I was looking at him in a daze. “I’m serious- the more time I spend with you y/n the faster I fall” his hand held my face as it curved into a smile. Slowly I leant down kissing Rafe a second time, it was only for a few seconds but I just had the biggest urge. “I was afraid to tell you that Rafe, not because I was scared to fall for you- but I was scared of being the only one who fell” “that’s not the case here” he shook his head vigorously clutching my hand in his. “Was everyone saying stuff to you too?” I giggled behind my hand. “Yeah” he laughed nodding his head “I think everyone knew something was going on apart from us” he rubbed his temple. “We know now, right?” “Mmh” Rafe hummed kissing my hand. “If I’m gonna be your girlfriend- you know this is a one off smoking thing it will not be regular” I warned him “yeah I’m not trying to change nothing, I like that your good” Rafe licked his lips. “On the outside anyway”.

“Shut up Cameron” I laughed behind my hand “but while we’re at this one time smoking thing…” “…you want more weed?” He asked with a cute little laugh “it’s only 420 once a year right” I clapped both of my hand together getting ready to be even higher than I already was. Happy fucking 420 to me.

[snailsaxophone]

Arven headcanons for the soul

ok first post im so nervous ahhh anyways at first its gonna be platonic hcs and then some fluffy romantic ones cause arven is very good for the soul

+ He does not know how to bake. He's amazing at cooking, but everything he bakes burns.

+ Really enjoys math actually, he'd offer to help you with it

+ Sucks at writing, he'd ask you to write essays for him lmaoo

+ Wakes up early. Has a good sleep schedule. Takes vitamins. He knows how important health is, and he's gonna make it his goal to fix whatever the hell you got going on.

+ Is really scared you'll laugh at him (when u first go to his dorm room he asks you not to laugh before he tells u his dream so not really hc but wanted to make it known)

+ he's a radiohead mf

+ you two would be picnicking and then he just starts whistling creep or something

+ i also think he's the type of guy to whistle a lot. you ever meet one of those people who just whistle a lot? he's one of those

+ he's taking a humanities course so i think he's doing that to figure out why his parents left and to see what he wants to do with his life

+ will visit you a lot. wants to hang out a lot. he has a friend now and he's gonna enjoy it

+ despite popular opinions, i think that after the events of area zero arven is ready to move on past his parents judging by the way he acts at the academy if you go back and talk to him.

+ will visit you when ur sick (might do a whole fanfic on this cause i just got over being sick lemme know whatchu think)

+ ALWAYS has first aid supplies on him, so if you ever get hurt within a fifty mile radius of him he's gonna take care of you

ok more romantic ones now

+ blushes VERY easily

+ will always give you flowers

+ he's like one of those kids who were raised by their grandparents (clavell) he's a true gentleman. will hold the door for you. will pull your chair out. will give you his coat when its cold out.

+ you're probably his first lover, so he's gonna do everything he can to not mess this up. he's gonna doubt himself sometimes

+ but more importantly, he's gonna be there for you whenever you need it. even when you don't think you need it. if you've had a rough day, he's the first to notice, and he's gonna whip you up a 5-star meal and take good care of you

+ he's an outdoorsman, so you're gonna have a lot of hiking, picnicking, and exploring dates.

+ he'll take you to see the ten sights of paldea (ok maybe not paldea's highest peak, but he'll do everything else)

ok thank u for ready im so nervous posting this lol anyways request some stuff please thank you :)

[midwinterwings]

I dont know my name or anything right now. I'm a new alter formed over the past couple of days and well.

Thats the thing. I got medicated for ADHD and my mind has quietened down and its so calm here. When I'm not stuck in the static of my thoughts, playing in several realms at once, I just feel like Loki. Right now anyway. Shifts do still occur but I find that unsavoury ones from alters who would take over for coping purposes, happen much less frequently. Its become kind of odd, actually. When interacting with the body's family and friends, instead of shifts occurring (I have no idea what happens when theyre in the same place. I feel only one of us is fronting and pretending to be the other one that would front to talk to a friend if family is also present) I kind of just stay me. Whoever I am right now.

Thats the thing. All of us are Loki. We're always Loki no matter who we are. Right now I feel more connected to the 'essence' of Loki, as I feel the flame flickering in my chest, nice and warm. But there's kind of a conflict because I want to put feathers in my hair and fly across cold plains which...I can't do that. Not in this realm at least.

I feel there needs to be a distinction between 'corporeal' - 'real world' - physical world, external world whatever its called, and the...er, other one. Incorporeal? Spiritual? I dunno. Yeah. Two things can be true at once. I've always thought of things as absolute - autism haha - so if one thing is true the other can't be. Because I like computers and gaming and maths and programming and doodling, it seems, well, kind of the opposite to what the fire in my chest makes me feel. When I'm more connected to my self as Loki, I think...pine needles for some reason or pinecones, that appeared somehow, and the opposite of tech, and falcons and swifts. Lots of swifts. Snakes too. Haha banana snake

Maybe shit isn't that deep. Maybe I can be two things at once. Well, three. Even though I'm the only one fronting right now.

Theres...me right now, kind of unknown name, maybe T(). Who wears modern clothing and has tech related interests.

And there's me right now who is the opposite of that. I'm Loki chilling out somewhere. It's either a mind palace of the past or me doing other stuff in other planes. Not sure. Completely different.

Oh and there's me in animal form. That's why I identify as a therian. I'm usually a snake, swift, falcon, or a shrike.

And these are true at the same time. That's the thing I've been struggling with grasping. If one thing is true how can that other thing be true? If im here and like these things and like this, how can I be pretty much the opposite in every single way, at the same time?

Answer: I don't know. But I do know that I operate in 3 planes default. (Not counting if im covering for another alter while they're off doing god knows what and theyre the one who made a friend who thinks I'm that alter so shit is really awkward and I just pretend it's me)

So I guess, 3 planes authentic.

1 plane (covering+masking plane) non authentic but still happening.

Before the meds I was operating on like...20 🗿 also, I couldn't tell which were intrusive thoughts and which were actual stuff that was relevant. So. 3 is perfectly OK.

So...tldr : stuff is weird. Very weird. It keeps getting weirder.

The more I realize what's going on the more I hate covering for other alters because now I know its not me my friend thought they talked to. In the past before I knew I was plural I got an odd bodily sensation like I was watching my body talk, like they were talking through me to somehow behind me and I'm just relaying info from the person behind me to them. Actually I think that's pretty accurate. I didn't understand why. I've only understood why more and more recently and...I guess, I'm angry that it is this way. Really angry. And because the body I live in is tainted with trauma, especially since I look like SK (first alter) it keeps triggering shifts to SK which is really annoying. Also I get confused and think I'm SK which I'm not. Also SK isn't really active, he kind of grew up a bit to Cleo, so...I feel Cleo ends up fronting every time I just...see a picture of my body's face. I can't express things well, even anger, in the external/physical/corporeal/'real' world because everything is twinged with trauma and one specific alter, some versions of Cleo, have been carrying us through for years and years and none of us know how to really exist outside of the internal worlds. I feel we will be able to with time, but its one of those problems that are relevant every second, every movement, just you can't ignore it and if its a problem it will continue to be a problem every moment. If you can't ignore it you deal with it. Oh and I'm trying to learn acceptance rather than problem solving. "Yeah this occurs. Yes it sucks. Yes its a problem. And that's OK. I dont have to try to solve every problem immediently, especially since its not possible, sometimes the solution is completely unknown to you right now, a new experience or perspective is needed. I'm going to live with it instead of feeling things that aren't desirable are villains to be killed. Theyre part of me. They make up bits of me. I can't choose the good bits and try to kill the bad bits. It's just not even true."

So, yeah. Gonna have to live with the fact that existing as of now is very confusing, uncomfortable, and weird. People are talking to other people and I have to pretend I'm other people and its frustrating and invalidating. My body is riddled with trauma and associations with the body's parent that are no longer relevant. Seeing it makes an alter who technically dosent exist anymore front - or try to. Or his thoughts bleed into mine. I dont know my name or my story. I exist 3 times at once. Annnd that's OK. It is what it is.

Written by T - 'Midwinter'

[queenlua]

i rewatched schindler's list last night (extremely scattered random thoughts)

* the main motif that jumped out to me this time was that of paperwork

which makes sense, right. the list. in the title. is in fact a piece of paperwork

but (1) the last time i watched this i was like 15 and a dummy, and (2) i guess paperwork's been on the brain lately ever since i saw brandon taylor calling for a comeback of the "paperwork movie" and i was like so true bestie

the paperwork thing isn't the movie's primary preoccupation. it wasn't trying to make a specific statement about The Inhumanity Of Machines And Bureaucracy as far as i could tell (even though that'd be an easy angle for something like this to take), but even so. the endless lines with some harried typist at the end of it, the shots of ppl checking every coat pocket for their work papers, Itzhak's goofy-ass typing technique as he's making that list of names, the paperwork error that sends the train of women not to his factory but to Auchwitz, etc...

but there's a missing middle in there, right, with some honest examination of these typewriters and databases and keyboards and emails and files as part of the air we breathe now. (i think the automated-job-assignment-system in Le Guin's The Dispossessed and the City of Mind in Le Guin's Always Coming Home are both her kind-of-inchoate-but-deeply-felt AHHHHH reactions to bureaucratization and the internet, respectively—a lot of scifi from that era reads like that, nervous but not really sure what to say yet.) like, Schindler's List was not wanting to examine that angle overmuch, but because it's not so front-and-center preoccupied with the papers in-and-of-themselves it probably comes away with stronger imagery/riffing on the idea than it would have otherwise

when taylor was talking about paperwork movies he was talking about stuff like legal thrillers, romcoms, stuff like Air, and so on. things where bureaucratic competence is the way to win. and there's no shortage of midcentury stuff where The Bureaucratization Is The Horror, the act of putting anything on a paper or in a database is the itself the thing to be feared

but it'd be interesting to see a film that did take that front-and-center. (probably one exists! i don't watch very many movies.) i guess the closest thing to what i'm thinking of is Red Plenty, which is a novel about a lot of things, but one of those threads is definitely Egghead Soviet Math Nerds Doing Paperwork, & yeah it's so so so good. I Am Once Again Asking You To Read Red Plenty

* the other new thing that jumped out at me, this time around, was just how bad at business Schindler was lol. this went over my head as a kid, because the guy is always dressed fantastic and slots so easily into the Charming Business Magnate Archetype, and also because as a kid i hadn't spent enough time around Charming Business Magnates to realize how often they are full of shit... but yeah, the movie makes it super clear upfront that this is essentially a Wall Street Bets guy who has identified exactly one weird arbitrage opportunity ("hire slave labor") and is good at calling in favors from the other nazis he parties with and that's it. utterly unsurprising he failed at every single other business he ever tried. reading the details of Actual Oskar Schindler's life makes him seem both better and worse than how he's portrayed in the film, and it would've been really interesting to see all those angles explored, even if i get why Speilberg opted to sand down those edges and i'll concede he was probably right to do so for the thing he wanted to make

anyway yeah. that's a film