Shadow was tired.
He just needed to wait until morning.
He just needed to not look at the mass in the center of the room.
(Sonic dhmis au)
[1456 words]
Tw: Major Character Death, brief description of injuries (it’s mostly left to imagination)
Shadow was tired
Kneeling on the tiled floor of the kitchen it was taking every bit of him to not close his eyes. To not let himself succumb to the cool release of sleep.
Or death.
Whichever came first.
Today’s lesson had been a brutal one, though Shadow supposes most of the lessons were brutal.
It started when he and Tails were cooking lunch, when the kid had accidentally nicked himself with the knife. Of course that caused a lesson to start. The teacher, this time taking the form of a talking knife block, preached to them all the joys of kitchen safety. Which then, of course, led to the two of them having to dodge multiple sharp kitchen utensils.
Shadow didn’t come out of that unscathed. He took a hit from a knife that was clearly aiming to take out Tails. At the time it was worth it to him, saving the fox from the pain from the blade. The large gash on his side bearable as long as he saved the kid from death at that moment.
Now though he wished he let Tails die then.
Gritting his teeth Shadow pushed himself off of the floor. Shooting pain emerged from his wound, but he bore through it. He’d handled worse before, not joking when he said lessons were brutal. He just had to leave the kitchen. If Shadow was going to bleed out he wasn’t going to do it with that looking straight at him.
The lesson didn’t end with the knives. They never ended with the knives. With Tails being the one who started the lesson the teacher’s attention was solely on the fox, and with Shadow already injured there wasn’t much he could do to protect the boy. He doesn’t know if he should be happy that the lesson ended at the blender before the teacher even acknowledged the overheating oven.
Using the wall for support Shadow kept his eyes glued to the ground as he made his way out of the kitchen. He didn’t want to see what remained of the fox again. It was bad enough the first time, as he watched the unfolding of the lesson, not being able to do anything about it.
As Shadow was just about to reach the doorframe, just about to leave the chaos forsaken room he stopped. He could feel the eyes on him, watching him as he left it all alone. He couldn’t do that, as much as he wanted to leave and wait until morning, to have his memories of this day fade into a dull ache in the back of his mind. He just couldn’t leave. Sighing he mentally prepared himself, turning to look at the center of the kitchen.
Shadow couldn’t call it a body, refusing to even think of the life the mass used to hold. The only thing that remained intact was the head. It was a cruel joke he supposed, something the teacher did to ensure the lesson stuck.
Blue eyes seemed to haunt Shadow.
First it was Maria on the Ark. Even with his memories of the outside world growing fuzzy he still remembered his sister and her eyes. He remembered the wonder they held when she looked down at the Earth, the love that he left when she looked at him, the pain as her life faded away.
Now it was a different pair of eyes, but to him they meant the same thing. The eyes that at first marveled at the new world they found themselves in, before either of them knew what it held in store, the eyes that constantly sought him out for some semblance of stability after they figured it out, the eyes that he had to watch constantly fade because he couldn’t save him.
That's how they were now, a brilliant blue faded to a dull gray.
Tears gathered in the corner of his eyes. Swiping them away angrily, Shadow growled at himself. He shouldn’t feel like this. He knew this was going to happen. He knew that by the end of the day one, or both of them would end up dead. He’s been through this enough times by now that he knows he can’t change anything. He knows that he can’t save anyone.
So why does he feel like this? Why does he feel a paralyzing helplessness whenever one of those damn teachers comes to life? Why does he feel so guilt ridden over something he knows he has no control of because he himself is a victim? Why does he feel the same way he did back on the Ark?
Shadow sinks down against the wall, as those same questions swirl through his mind. Over and over again. The same questions never relenting. He knows the answer to them. He knows why, but he can’t bring himself to admit it. If he does things would change. It would just give them more ways to inflict pain and there was no way that he would ever give them that opportunity.
Right now though there’s nothing they can do. The lesson for the day was done, the sun having already set below the horizon. Morning needs to come again.
Knowing this Shadow gives up. He allows the tears to flow down his cheeks. His sobs irritated his already sore throat, his heaving breaths causing even more pain to spout from his wound. He doesn’t care though nobody is watching him, the only eyes open right now are ones that don’t matter.
Those eyes aren’t seeing anything. They won’t think he’s weak because he failed to protect someone. They won't remember it in the morning when they seek him out for comfort. Right now he can let everything out. He can fall apart and by morning he’ll be put back together again.
He cries until his lungs give up on him, when the blood loss finally makes itself apparent. He opens his eyes and finds the other ones staring back at him. He knows his will look the same soon.
Shadow lets himself drift off, the night finally winning.
~~~~~~~~
Somewhere, up above, gloved hands pick up two figures out of a small model kitchen.
They take care to fix them up, the fox figure having more repairs needed than usual, while the hedgehog only had a scratch.
Placing the figures into a model bedroom, the hands making sure to tuck the fox into bed. It’s the least they can do.
Sighing they begin to turn the crank.
The model house spins around while distant piano notes play a repeating tune.
It’s morning once again.
~~~~~~~~
Shadow was in his bed again. A small bit of light shining through his eyelids told him it was still early, the sun's rays just peeking over the horizon.
Taking a deep breath he let himself enjoy the moment. The peace that came with the early morning the only time he could find himself getting the closest to a semblance of relaxation. He knew the silence wouldn’t last forever so he took this time to enjoy it.
As if right on que soft footsteps made their way over to Shadow’s bed. Without opening his eyes he lifted the blanket, inviting Tails in. The bed dipped as the kid crawled under the blanket, curling up against the hedgehog, gripping onto his dark fur as if his life depended on it. As if Shadow could save it.
Lowering his arm, Shadow pulled Tails closer. He doesn’t know for whose benefit it was, they both needed it.
Time continued to pass as they lay together, the sun coming up over the horizon, the alarm ready to go off in any moment.
Tails shrunk into him, shaking as it drew nearer for them to leave the comfort of the bed. The kid didn’t cry though. He hadn’t cried in a long time. Shadow doesn’t think that’s a good thing.
Running his fingers through yellow fur Shadow tried to calm the fox, even though his anxiety was also rising. He doesn’t remember exactly what happened yesterday but he knows it was bad seeing that Tails sought him out this morning.
Today he’s going to make sure he takes the brunt of the lesson. He’s made this vow before, but this time he’s going to try harder, to draw the focus of the teachers towards him.
Because deep down, even if he would never admit it, Shadow cared for Tails. He cares for the kid that is stuck in this eternal torment with him. Even though it will kill him, Shadow will try his hardest to protect him.
Tails was his brother now and he’d be damned if he had to watch another sibling die in front of him.
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I'm thinking about Green's identity problems, and how angsty it all could be.
the adults hate him, but when they first start warming up to him its partially because he looks like someone he's not.
and, when he first shows up, he has to share basically everything with Yellow. his clothes, his bed, his dishes, his name. Everything
and he knows its not Yellow's fault. the clump hadn't expected the arival of another child. There had been no way for them to prepare
but, that doesn't make it hurt any less.
And, i imagine that for a while Red and Duck mistake the two a lot from behind, especially in the mornings before Green has brushed his hair down or before green gets his blanket.
it would probably frustrate him to no end
crying and screaming over this YEAH I think it would really be something that bothers Green for a long time, and it would definitely crop up in panic attacks or meltdowns long after he's been accepted as one of the clump. Like imagine Green knowing the only reason they tolerate him is because he looks just like Yellow, and they basically just consider him to be the same person as Yellow.
It's definitely that twin thing where Green feels like he's not allowed to have his own personality or identity and in the early days he'd probably throw fits over being given the wrong food or when they call him Yellow because he's NOT Yellow he's his OWN person and he'd THANK THEM VERY MUCH if they remembered that
Definitely it would cause a lot of tension in his relationships with the others at first, it's probably something he'd have to work out with Red and Duck after he starts to trust them more.
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