#LOSING MY MIND ACTUALLY MY BOYYYY

[noritaro]

GLAMROCK BONNIE REAL!!?!????!?!!!??

[shepgarrus]

‎

[beaniemoon]

Uppermoon Headcannons - Their Weak Points to Their Darling

This is my first actual post that I personally wrote so... Pls don't judge

Warnings: 18+ Content (mentioned), Swearing

Muzan

I'm sorry but I cannot say he isn't hot

So this guy is very possessive and I swear do not mess with him unless you want to lose the ability to walk for weeks to come

BUT even the mighty Muzan Kibutsuji has his weak spots

For instance, when you play with his hair after an absolutely fucked-up week I tell you he will enjoy it

Or when you just... do as he says without complaining and all that shit and he will slightly appreciate it

He would be softer to you than to others but don't get your hopes up... He shall punish you very badly if you misbehave (which is what you do all the time lol)

Since you're his precious doll he will not kill you (fortunately) and will leave bites and hickeys all over you

I swear don't reject them, you'll regret it

For all those Muzan lovers out there I have one thing to tell you: If you behave you shall be blessed with the ability to stay alive in his presence

I swear to God this man is easy to enrage

So be careful, kay?

Kokushibo

My fav Boyyyy

First things first: he is an elegant gentleman that will not hurt his darling without reason (like Muzan)

So you can be more playful with him :)

He makes the best food ever and please reassure him that you love him because my guy is insecure

He will melt even if you give him the smallest of things, such as holding his hand, hugging his waist (I'm sorry but he is TALL), and small kisses on his face

He can get possessive, but only when he feels that being so is necessary to get you to stap with your bullshit

Overall he is a nice guy once you get to know him and I am not lying when I say he is a good cushion to snuggle in

PS he will punish you for your stupidities but will take good care of you afterwards

(Because he doesn't want to lose you, obviously)

@koku-shibou

Douma

Y'all know who this is?

This is the most sadistic person you shall ever encounter in your life

Change my mind

Anyways his soft spots would probably be your aggressiveness, because so far everyone worships him and he doesn't get that often from a human

He finds it cute, how you’re trying so hard to reject him but epically failing

Will tease you till you lose your mind

Will punish you if for no reason because he is a bitch

Sugar Daddy

For all the girls out there that simp him, y’all better be sex-resistant

Cause otherwise you will never be able to leave the bed ever again

Akaza

Lol he looks like he’s proposing

If you’re a girl, prepare for his protectiveness to go from zero to a million

If you’re a guy, prepare for a nice but aggressive guy

Imma go with the female half first because I’m a girl

So basically he will give you literally everything you want without spoiling you one bit

Bento? Ya got bento

Rice balls? You don’t need to ask twice

He is probably the safest boyfriend for girls because you’ll never have to fear him

For guys? Not so safe anymore are we

All I have to say to the male Akaza lovers is that you have to be strong

Cause otherwise you’re gonna get hacked to bits

Hantengu

This guy, your boyfriend?

I honestly do not see this as okay, since he’ll be scared even if you’re within two meters from him

But I guess he can use some love…

Weak spots for you? Everything

I seriously don’t have much to say to this…

Sekido

Possessive man

He’s very hot though

He’ll calm down if you behave and do as he says

Don’t be an idiot unless you wanna get zapped

He has a chill side, don’t worry

As long as you’re alone, he’ll be nice

Just make sure the others aren’t going to barge in on one of your kissing sessions, it really pisses him off

Karaku

He is pleasure itself

He doesn’t have weak points to you cause… you know

Maybe he’ll be chill and less cheery with you sometimes

I do not think that he has weak points

I mean, do we need him to have some? I don’t think so…

Urogi

Literally same as Karaku

Doesn’t need weak points to be better

He already heaven

Just watch out for his claws

Aizetsu

Cute boy will be happy with you

His weak points? You

His soft spot? You

His body pillow? You

He is the babysitter supreme

If you want him to stay good though, you gotta reassure him that you’ll always love him

Because like Kokushibo he is insecure

So be nice, Kay?

Zohakuten

My fav clone!!

As we all know, he is possessive and aggressive like he always was

Dirty mouth

But with you? Perhaps a bit softer

He will stroke your hair with you straddled in his lap

His look would soften if you look at him with your cute, curious eyes

Smile at him, he’ll feel less hatred

If someone interrupts you, they dead by next morning

Overall he’s gonna take care of you slightly roughly, but he’s nice

Gyokko

I don’t like him

Narcissist

So I’m gonna leave him

Gyutaro

He would be much softer with you than with anyone else in this wretched world

Except for Daki

His weak spot? Your kindness

You’re so sweet and kind to him every time you smile at him his brain just goes *malfunction*

If you sing “Scars to Your Beautiful” to him he will cry

Happily, of course

He loves you and will always hold on to you no matter what

You are his ray of sunshine, no way he’s letting you go

Will turn you into a demon because he wants you by his side forever

You’re not seeing any other man

Ever again

Daki

No

Just No

Like HAIL NAH

In short, her weak spots count: zero

Kaigaku

I think he will sing that song Bowser sang

He is sweet

Yes he is do not reject

So y’all know how he’s an asshole to literally everyone? He won’t be to you

He likes going to peach trees with you and just sitting there and eating peaches is very precious to him

Likes it when you sing

Will not let you out of his sight

He is possessive because he is an asshole

But the good way

Get him some peaches and he’ll be happy

You can mess with him all you want, the most he’s gonna do is fuck you nicely

Hehe

I fell off the topic so bad I now hate myself…

I hope y’all enjoyed it!!

[divorcingjimmatthews]

pas de deux reactions (shorter than last time i swear)

elgin fucking hero???? the fucking guts???????? this van ride is giving me a heart attack

ive seen the promo pics i know theyll get in but im here like what if they dont open the doors for them in time?? or at all? i havent seen elgin in the promo pics oh my god. but hes so new theyre not killing him here. right. right??????

oh thank god

shit dale really did do ellis good like oh my god the poor dude

he better not die i dont want him to die and he might and im so hurt and anxious rn

did yall know kristi's acress is actually a medical professional? apparently they hired her before they even knew that

anyway back to the angsting

im gonna die

i cant look i cant look i cant look

the blood oh my god

boyd is so good at pretending like hes not dying inside to comfort fatima and ellis like i get that he screwed up big time with the sara secret but man what this dude has done for all these people at the cost of himself... :( boyd appreciation post

its so sad to see him ask for help and people not really believing him thoo like yeah he doesnt have proof and hes not used to asking for help so it comes off unnatural and like hes delusional but man thats #relatable af

NOT A BLOOD TRANSFUSION BOYDS BLOODS GOT THE FUCKING WORMS IN IT IM GONNA LOSE MY MIND 😭😭😭

also poor jim he's so commited to his experiment theory and people are starting to look at him weird for it but i'm so on his side jim you keep at it you're on to something! i believe in you

the way the pieces are all fitting together here oh boy

man i dont remember my blood type i guess this is how i die in fromville

boyd im sorry but it's a worms or death situation over here. unless someone else is O-negative

KENNY 👏👏👏

hes a big boy nowww and im so proud

damn i really didnt think boyds mental situation would get him to the point where he's risking his son's life?! if someone else got this bad after sara i thought that'd be jade. i tought boyd was too main character for this. im sorry boyd. i didn't see how bad you were doing i assumed you'd just be able to keep pushing through because you're you. i'm sorry boyd. i'm ashamed of myself. this deterioration happened before my eyes and i was like nahh he's okay

theyre stealing this mans blood at gunpoint

THEY CAN SEE THE WORMS???

maybe edgin is O-negative too my poor sweet not-good-with-blood heroic boy

KENNY?????

KKKKENNY???????????

"GIVE IT TO ME" THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING

THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING OH MY GOD

are these people gonna be passing the worms around like a hot potato like. could kenny theoretically... give it back after the transfusion's done??

boyd we're gonna need this fucking blood rn

BOYD?????

I DONT WANT YOUR IDEA BOYD

BOYD?????????

your son is dying boyd

no one can say anything about recklessness to my boy randall after this

he's gonna kill a creature somehow isnt he

fatima must be having 20 heart attacks per second rn

it's our dear smiley poster boyyyy

oh there's more creatures. i thought it was gonna be a 1 to 1 faceoff to echo the episode's title

im not even that sure that boyd is gonna survive this anymore

i mean he HAS to he's the main character but holy hell

im losing my mind

kenny watching through the window like what can you even do about that

hows he gonna get the blood at him like suck it from his hand and spit it or like what

why is he so confident that this is gonna work

i guess him being like this is what got them the talismans like if he didnt come across the talismans he wouldve been so dead in the forest back then and ellis wouldnve died too

but its like this place kind of hhmmm rewards whatever the fuck boyds doing? it seems to work out for him somehow. but martin was the same way and well.

THE SMILEY BITCH IS NOT BLEEDING

oh my good

ellis is dying while this is happening

boyd really said wait hold on a sec i need to rid myself of this blood curse real quick ill be right back

MY BLOOD IS YOUR BLOOD NOW MOTHERFUCKER

ngl watching someone go on the offensive is so cathartic but i can admit that if i was in that clinic i would be losing my mind and not okay with this at all

IT DIDNT WORK???????

OH IT DID

no fucking wayyyyy

the nightmare creature's friends just ignoring him dying like not even scared a little bit???? they just showed they can kill you bro come on. must be unable to feel fear or something

oh yeah okay they were gathering around him and not around boyd damnnnnnnnn i cant believe this is happening

theyre CONFUSED

Boyd really fucking did that oh my god

the monsters are such bad friends to each other they dont give a fuck

i dont do so good with blood either. elgin i get u bro

the padlock on the medicine cabinet ouchie ouchie

donna and ethan are an interaction i wasnt expecting but theyre neat-o

sorry that jade isn't in the episode guys. i borrowed him for giving him hugs and kisses. i'll give him back for the next one dw. yeah victor's here too i'm giving him chocolate chip cookies. they're ok don't worry for them. sara's in the other room having a milkshake i felt kinda bad for her yeah

ethan is asking the real questions

DONNA DHSJDHSJDHSH i love her

ethan 🥺🥺

ETHAN 😭😭😭

donna...

AW donna

THE HUG THE HUG THE HUG

Boyd youre not okay oh my god this man

oh fatima 🥺

OH SHIT

"We shouldve trusted you" no listen it worked out by fucking miracle okay

what an episode dammit

[corrodedcoughin]

you wanted steddie songs? let me provide some songs from my steddie playlist bc i'm sick and i want to yell about these dummies to feel better.

for some time accurate songs we got the classics like head over heels and good old-fashioned lover boy obviously, but i also have i'm your man by wham! in there bc i saw a fanart of steve singing that song once and i completely fell in love with it. also take me home tonight by eddie money and personal jesus by depeche mode

for some modern songs i have way too many taylor swift songs bc ofc i do, like gold rush and gorgeous (which work for both steve thinking about eddie and the other way around), but also cruel summer if you think of them getting together during the summer of '86, both unsure what they're doing. also issues by julia michaels bc boyyyy these two have ISSUES. oh and i wanna be your slave by maneskin bc i want eddie to sing that so both me and steve can melt into a puddle of goo. last ones that i really like are don't go by yungblud and alone together by fall out boy.

i got more but i don't wanna ramble more than i already have so here ya gooooo! 😌✨

Alice, my friend, listen I will take ALL thoughts you have on this topic and any topic. So if you ever want to ramble PLEASE DO I will eat it All

Can I just say your time accurate choices are perfect and are actually already on my playlist???? Good old fashioned lover boy is honestly deep in my bones next to head over heels so thank you.

But!!! Wham!!! STEVE WOULD LOVE GEORGE MICHAEL!!! He’d lose his MIND over the club Tropicana video, last Christmas would be his favourite festive song and then of COURSE he’d love solo George Michael and have a religious experience to faith and careless whisper. Steve harrington I know what you are.

Eddie money you are SO right but also his song baby hold on is Steddie going through life together :’)

Depeche mode personal Jesus IS my personal Jesus and is absolutely Steddie coded as is just can’t get enough. I LOVE these takes and am getting stupidly excited about them. Just!!! Thank you!!!

And so many people are Taylor swift Steddie supporters and I truly support all of you, I just don’t have the knowledge to weigh in on this one unfortunately. BUT!!! The other ones you said ohhh BOY I’m just nodding my head AGGRESSIVELY!!! Issues is just SUCH A GOOD SHOUT!!! And maneskin, listen you just can’t go wrong with them, ever. Every single choice you make with them is good and this is no exception. Beautiful big brain.

Yungblud and fob are such inspired choices I love it. I have nothing else to say other than you are right and I violently support you

[dumbbitchfrommars]

12am and i cant sleep.

its been so hard adjusting to all the change. it was unexpected, and i got used to something and didnt realise how that momentum would just disappear and how uncomfortable i would be about that.

i think i got used to the chaos of being a student. now i feel stuck, and im doubting myself. im really, really questioning.

but somehow i was blessed with a really wonderful man amidst it all?

doubt/fear/self criticism. its confusing me... i havent properly cried in so long. ive just gotten a bit too comfortable with the subtle, constant voice in my head putting me down for every little mistake and unmet expectation.

i am a good writer. i missed writing, really writing. i got so lazy. i feel so lazy, all the time. like im never quite putting in 100%, but if i did, i know id be able to achieve so much. id be so successful - probably at anything i put my mind into.

instead im so afraid of failing or being disappointed that i barely try at all.

my confidence is thin... i wonder if people can see through my facade?

im so ashamed and angry at myself for losing my temper today. it completely derailed the rest of my day. i feel terrible. i deserved to get in trouble today. it was my karma for being impatient, and mean, and angry. life is not that serious. nothing is worth that kind of anger. no stranger deserves that kind of anger...

im so tired but the coffee that i knew would throw me off is keeping me up. i was shaking for half the day today! i genuinely helped so many people but i also feel judged, criticised and under appreciated. i am not rostered again for this entire week.

work is not worth this frustration and anger and hurt. ive exhausted myself analysing the situation and its done. but, what is left if not that? what do i worry about instead? how others might judge me for dating this guy? or how my car is stuck in a carpark tonight and might be towed away by the morning? or, that i have $40 to my name right now with multiple trips interstate planned in the next few months? money doesnt matter. it never really mattered and is the least of my problems, and yet it floats back to me constantly like a persistent fly. i got bit on the fucking face by a mosquito!

but being hugged like that healed something in me. it was the most comforting hug ive had in so, so long. i could cry just thinking about feeling that way all the time. so warm and safe and protected and loved.

its nice to feel like i can be a shy girl again. like i dont have to pretend to be confident all the time, cause someone else is already, and hes ready to take the lead for me. so i can let my guards down and just be my self and not worry about scaring him off or making him insecure. and i like the way he tells me things. like he really shows me, and gets me to visualise what hes trying to explain. and i like how he rubbed my knee when i said i wasnt listening to him for one second. and i like how he kinda just decided for me that were hanging out again tomorrow. and i like how he asked "are you okay" when i got all anxious and made me laugh at myself instead of being awkward. how did he do that? he helped me not overthink by making a sweet joke and i could laugh. and my critical side is non existent when im with him, cause hes so confident in himself. hes so man. and i actually like him. i like talking to him, i like his personality, im drawn to him, i think hes attractive. i mean, he has odd style but it suits him. and he has some opinions that i disagree with but they arent dealbreakers. and hes such a boyyyy like hes so masculine man like wow they really do exist. all i had to do was look in a different place to my own. I KNEW IT TOO. i knew i liked them a little rough around the edges. ugh. okay. i think thats enough fawning over him now.

i wonder when we'll finally kiss. i dont think im ready yet... im scared of rushing and getting hurt again. i think he can tell and thats why hes been so slow and gentle with me. is crazy, isnt it? i seem so confident and attractive and cool from the outside. i feel like everyone profiles me as having so much handed to me. but its honestly so scary and hard to try do relationships and friendships. ive been hurt so much and im so so sensitive. but maybe i seem strong and like my walls are up or something, so people think im indestructible. but secretly im so soft and fragile and i need time. and i feel like hes giving me that time? like i dont think ive ever gone this long talking to a guy. i havent hung out with a guy 3 times without kissing once. thats a lie... but its also true, cause the taurus i always just expected it to not be romantic. i dont think i ever really saw us being in a relationship. but i can see myself with the scorpio. so its even a shock just for me, to see how seriously im taking this by not rushing. i want everything to be special and the right timing. i even want to meet his family and friends. and my sister really likes him. thats how i know hes good for me. because shes never wrong about people. could this be why i had such a trainwreck day today? did i receive some kind of evil eye the other night? but...who...? everyone seemed so sweet and happy and lovely. maybe its just a bad day and i shouldnt overthink it.

ugh.

its fucking freezing cold and now its past 1am. ugh.

i would love another one of those hugs, please. it was so lovely and nice and ugh. holy shit. i really like him!

[dawnmore]

OH MY FUCKING GOSH

I JUST HAD THE REALIZATION OF A MOTHER FUCKER

i was venting to ai about angge because yeah i don't talk to real humans about my feelings because i'm a bitch with a lot of things wrong with herself

and as i was typing and describing my situation with angge i fucking realized something

fucking Marshy from ig yeaaaarsss ago

fuck

yeah

it was all like deja vu

i started to remember her all over again after idk literally forgot she existed

i was typing this out:

"the weird part is that she was the one that liked me first, she was the one that confessed to me and promised me things like she will stand by her desicion of liking me. at first, i didn't even like her like that and only saw her as a friend but I still gave her a chance because i don't want to lose our friendship. and now, i've actually started to feel things and want to take her seriously, then i realized she wasn't that committed to me at all, and i'm not sure but sometimes i feel like I'm the only one that's interested. and now that we've stopped talking and she didn't fight for me or even at least try for me, i feel so betrayed and that it just confirms all my overthinking"

and fuuuuck it reminded me exactly about the Marshy situation

how i didn't even like her at first but gave her a chance anyways

and then it ends up where i fall harder, then they leave and i am the one to be hurt most

OH MY FUCKING GOSH

ANGELINE HAPIN SITUATION ACTUALLY SMELLS LIKE MARSHY SITUATION

that is so fucking mind-blowing to me

how it has all happened before and yet i didn't even learn shit, i didn't remember no lesson

now that i have thought about more, i now feel like Marshy situation was preparing me for if something like this ever happens in the future when i'm older

and boyyyy

did i NOT learn shit

oh my gosh tho

deja vu is fucking mind-blowing

[weasvlys]

Harry Potter male characters NSFW headcanons.

P.2

Seeing that the previous part received so much love, I decided to do a second part of "Everything related to smutty activities from this HP characters"

I recommend the second part in my profile, if you want to see more content like this, follow me aaaaaand I TAKE REQUESTS.

Aaaand, WARNINGS: SMUUUUUT.

George Fabian Weasley

Everything with this boy will be sweet and intoxicating

No matter how you look, twins will always want to fuck you.

"You are the most beautiful and amazing human being there is"

Lots of sex, VERY MUCH.

This guy is a sub and loves to be penetrated, so, get ready.

Such a tease.

Do everything to make you horny in the most uncomfortable situations, he can even do it in front of his own mother.

Respectfull and so gentle, ASK YOU FIRST FOR EVERYTHING.

"You are so fucking hot baby"

Have kinks but not like his twin.

Loved to be mention he's better than his twin.

NOISY!!

Is a little insecure, always compare himself with Fred.

His sex is fast and sweet, pretty much like Neville's.

JEALOUS.

Give the best kisses and orals.

Draco Lucius Malfoy.

PUNISHMENTS.

Do I need to say that he is VERY kinky? Well, because he is, a lot.

"Call me daddy."

If necessary, he will have you shout his name so everyone knows who's boss.

He loves to spank you and tie you up.

Aaaaaaaaalooooot of angry sex.

Very, very, jealous.

He loves sudden sex, if you misbehave he can take you to the nearest bathroom, even in public places, just to punish you.

His sex is dirty, hard and rough, you will end up drenched in sweat and very tired.

Lots of dirty talk and slutshamming.

"Do you like this you little hore?"

He loves to give you orals and fingering.

He loves to fuck you in all possible positions.

Their sex is usually hard and wild but on some occasions it can be nice and calm.

After having sex you won't be able to walk, that's for sure.

You will have multiple orgasms.

Bill Weasley.

You have to options with with guy, 1. He's very cute, sensible, nice, sweet, such a gentleman orrrrr 2. He's the hottest, horniest, roughest and sexiest guy you'll ever met.

As I was saying, his sex could be "✨💗🌹🍓✨" or it could be "😈🖤💀⛓️" so technically there's not loose, he would do what YOU want, he doesn't actually care about himself.

Oh he's dick is big, all Weasley's dick are big.

You can get drunk, sink and lose yourself in his gaze, literally just by seeing this guy talking you can get wet.

"I love how you look in leather, it made me so hard"

He is the type of guy who would love to fuck you all day and would if he could but at the same time he cares how you feel, he protects you and procures you forever.

Love is EVERYTHING for him, literally.

He's very insecure about his scar.

He could fuck you so hard that you would not be able to walk and then take your breakfast to bed.

He loves to dominate, make you beg and fuck you hard but once in a while he can change, he loves being penetrated with a dildo.

It is the perfect balance between love and pleasure, neither will be overshadowed.

"Aghh... Fuck- you are so~ wet"

His obvious skill is orals, he's the best, and he knows it.

Oliver Wood.

You will make schedules to have sex. literally, and he would get mad if you are not at time.

Oh boyyyy, this guy is rough and slow, so tempting.

He teases a lot about how he can arouse you you up so fast, but what can you say? Watching him play Quidditch is exciting to say the least.

After playing or training, he tends to "get excited" a lot.

"Keep going baby, you're soooo good..."

Pretty loud.

A little kinky with the pulling and choking thing.

He loves to carve his erection through the clothes when you kiss.

She loves long kissing sessions, they usually end in her passionate sex.

Unusually romantic and attentive, the boy seems to be constant and solely focused on Quidditch but he really has a lot of attentions, romantically, and when it comes about sex.

"Do you mind if I choke you?"

He can last HOURS without losing his breath, for something he is the captain of quidditch.

He loves to squeeze your thighs intensely.

A little shy at first.

The pleasure of BOTH.

Secretly loves public sex before training or a match. Kinda encourages him.

[nerajaana]

What part of danys arc is sansa stealing? Setting countries on fire for free slaves or rearing fire breathing attack dogs for the funsies ?🙃

This......wow i did not take study breaks to lose more brain cells than i could afford to at this point it's an eight hour exam have a care for my leftover braincells. "Setting countries on fire" yo maybe try reading those books before working with wild conspiracy theories written by supposed adults who's mental age, at best, is 12.

@daenerys-and-martell-stan wanna elaborate on this??? i must admit i didn't reread dany's chapters enough to be able to shoot down this moron's dumbass claims with proper book content (although boyyyy i could wax poetry about how epically dumb you sound)

But i'd like to say one thing. Hate Daenerys Targaryen all you want but do keep in mind that she's actually a queen, a legit ruler in her own right that has nothing to do with her name or the iron throne. All without resorting to being a classist brat :D And the writer cares more for her than he ever could for your fave so......yeah, ponder on that.

Also kindly focus your questions on Arya/Martells the next time another ridiculous doubt crops up in that peabrain of yours🤗

[zoe-is-a-mess]

TW: body image, weight loss

Losing a lot of weight after being fat for a while is so trippy because in my mind I'm bigger than I actually am, and sometimes the person in the mirror doesn't feel like me, and buying clothes is a nightmare because i'm usually like two sizes smaller than what I think I am so I spend a lot of times on dressing rooms because I have to keep exchanging sizes. Besides, I now fit into most "one size fits all" (bullshit) but because i'm used to not fit into them, I almost never try them om for fear of being disappointed like I used to be.

Also most of my clothes don't fit me right so I have about 7 items of clothing in my wardrobe that actually fit me and boyyyy does that fuck me up when I have to get dressed.

And now my friends that I always considered thin, fit into my clothes and I into theirs and it's so weird because I don't see myself like them.

I mean it when I say I have no fucking clue what I look like nowadays. It's not like I don't like what I look like, but that it just doesn't feel like me. Kinda like I'm not supposed to look like that.

I guess what I mean is that I am finally at the weight I've always wanted to be, and clothes fit me how I like, but it feels like i'm looking at someone else in the mirror, so I don't feel like I thought I would.

[420pogpills]

✿ my rollerskating diary ✿

making a new post for it so i can put it under a 'keep reading' since it's getting long and i don't want to keep flooding anyone's dashboard with it. but basically i just started rollerskating this week and i'm documenting my journey just because :'D this is all very long and rambly so feel free to ignore it, i'm just rambling for myself haha!

(pinning it so i don't lose it, since i can't reblog and add stuff under an existing 'keep reading' link)

starting from june 15th

DAY 1 rollerskating update: i fell on my ass two times so hard that i still feel my spine vibrating 😭😭😭

DAY 2: doing alright.. i went in with 0 expectations LOL so i'm happy! i shoved shirts down my pants so my butt was nice and padded, falling was less scary! i've gotten a y3 tool to loosen my trucks a bit too cause they are crazy tight.. also decided to get an instructor! there's someone who does 121 lessons super locally to me so i'm going for it, i reallyyyy wanna get good at this :')

DAY 3: i can actually skate a bit now? i loosed my trucks and wheels a tiiiiny bit and definitely felt a difference. my biggest issue now is with stopping ohhhh my god why is that so hard? 😭😭 also absolutely cannot walk on skates?? i thought that was gonna be one of the easiest things but boyyyy. but yeah definitely seeing improvement which is exciting! today’s practice ended with my worst fall yet, i fell so hard on my ass.. it was a bit scary and now i’m in quite a lot of pain buuuut we keep on moving! can’t wait to actually have a lesson but it ain’t till the 29th…

DAY 4: short-ish practice today. focused on using my toe stop, tried to work on slowing down and stopping mostly. kind of felt more unstable today compared to yesterday? which left me feeling a liiiitle discouraged :’) but i know it’s early days!

i think it’s because of the bad fall i had yesterday, i moved a little more hesitantly to avoid falling again so i kept focusing on that instead of fluid movement. there’s been a pretty sharp pain in my tailbone from that fall, so realistically i think the smartest thing to do was for me to stop altogether until the pain goes. but because i just started i feel like i’ll have to start from square one if i take a week off or something :( i just really want to get better at this soon so i can go practice outside cause currently i’m relying too much on grabbing on to things and i feel like i’d improve more in more natural surroundings. but i think until the pain goes away, i won’t be skating outside just yet :’) plus it’s planning to rain for the whole upcoming week.. skating is hard man aaaaa i can’t wait to get better at it!

DAY 5: shortest practice so far today (literally did like 10 minutes) because i wanted to get on the skates so my body doesn't forget the feeling but i didn't want to skate and risk falling today because i really wanted to give my coccyx a break as it's still hurting from that fall on day 3 lmao.

i actually went on a mission today, i walked around my local area and beyond trying to find some good spots to practice. like i said in day 4's post, i am just relying too much on grabbing on to walls and tables when i practice at home, so i just really want to get out there.

i found 3 places that i'm going to keep in mind for now (and will be looking for more soon i reckon!) one is a tennis court in a park like 15 mins away from my house. literally no one ever uses it and the ground looks pretty good so that's gonna be my number 1 spot. there's also a basketball court there that looks even better for skating but that place does get used by people a lot, so i'm only gonna use it if i'm ever feeling super enthusiastic and manage to get to the park at like 7am or something haha! the other spot is a massive parking lot of an exhibition centre that doesn't have any events at the moment due to covid, and the other is a smooth long path by the water! (but the water is gated off so i won't fall in :P) there's a great long path by my house, but there's always people there, walking or riding bikes, so i can't risk going there just yet in case i crash into a child or a dog or a bike haha i'm not good at stopping yet :')

DAY 6: another short one today due to some pain (i suffer from chronic pain) - again i just wanted to keep my body familiar with skates and skate around a bit, practice stopping, but not fall and risk causing myself more pain while i'm still recovering from that fall earlier in the week cause yeah unfortunately, it's still hurting :'D bUT i got something today that i wanted from the very beginning - IMPACT SHORTS! i know they aren't gonna work miracles but any protection is better than none so i'm excited about them.

gonna skate some more at home tomorrow and tuesday, and them from wednesday i promised myself it's time to be brave and start practicing outside! i'd start from tomorrow but i've got plans on tuesday so i didn't want to risk getting scrapped up or too hurt since i'm seeing a friend i haven't seen since last summer! looking forward to that :)

DAY 7: today was the first time i felt like 'okay i really want to go outside now' - the space at home is just too cramped, and the tiles sometimes catch me up, but today i actually felt pretty confident on the skates! i fell twice but both times on my front and catching myself on my knees is pretty easy. i hope i can keep that confidence for wednesday when i go outside for the first time :')

i know my first time outside i'm gonna struggle and fall a lot, but i think once i don't have any limits like walls or furniture around me, i'm going to improve much faster since i'm going to be much more reliant on my own balance and strength. honestly nothing more exciting than seeing real progress. cannot wait to get better, and get more confident, and skate in more places!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 209: Proud Dads, Determined Rivals, and a Prison Interlude

Previously on BnHA: Team BakuJirouSatouSero scored a flawless 4-0 victory against Team TokaBondoAwaKama. Here’s how it went down: (1) Bakugou protected Jirou and everyone watching was like “holy shit did Bakugou just protect Jirou??” and his classmates were like “YES THAT JUST HAPPENED”; (2) Awase welded Bakugou to some columns with his quirk; (3) Satou used his own quirk to smash Bakugou free; (4) Jirou stunned Awase with her quirk and Sero tied him up; (5) Bakugou blasted Bondo and Satou restrained him afterward; (6) everyone watching was like “SO BAKUGOU DOES TEAMWORK NOW?!” and again his classmates were like “YES”; (7) Bakugou flung Kamakiri into a wall, which looked like it hurt, sorry Kamakiri; (8) we learned that Bakugou had given some extra grenades to his teammates and they’d used them to blow up a bunch of Tokage’s amputated body parts, forcing her to regenerate and use up her stamina; and finally, (9) the depleted Tokage flew right into Bakugou and he took her out with a (Point-Blank) Stun Grenade attack. Basically it was just Bakugou is Awesome: The Chapter. If I didn’t know any better I’d think I had fantasized this whole fucking thing you guys. THAT’S MY BOYYYY.

Today on BnHA: Aizawa gives his team a thumbs up and Kaminari is all “WOW KACCHAN YOU REALLY CAN BE NOT-A-JERK IF YOU TRY HUH” and All Might is all “chills, Young Bakugou. LITERAL CHILLS” and that last bit makes Bakugou get all shy and embarrassed and it’s super fucking cute. Then he bumps into Deku and Deku is all “wow that was awesome” and Bakugou is all “you can’t beat me” and Deku is all “nah I can” and it goes on like this for a page and then Bakugou leaves and then All Might is all “I ship it.” Over on class B’s side, Monoma and his team begin to strategize for their upcoming battle. Everyone agrees that their first priority should be to take out Deku because You Just Don’t Fuck With Deku. The 5th set begins, and it’s honestly too many names to squish together, I’m gonna be real with y’all, but anyway so Deku’s side also has Mina, Ochako, and Mineta though. And their plan is to have Deku be a decoy and draw out Team B’s most troublesome members (i.e. Shinsou). As things get started, All Might gets a call from Gran Torino. We then cut to Tartarus of all places, where Prisoner #1541, better known as All for One, is squirming around and making the guards nervous. Turns out AFO is excited because apparently he can “hear his little brother’s voice.” Um. Okay.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 224, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

haHA!

THAT’S HOW WE DOOOOOOOOOO

oh man. that was such a rush. how could anyone possibly not enjoy that. I think even Aizawa was probably pumping his fist a couple of times and then trying to play it off like he didn’t care lol

poor Vlad King

I wonder how this will change people’s strategies going up against Bakugou in the future. the kid whose own classmates once worried that he wouldn’t accept being rescued even when his life was literally on the line just pulled off some of the smoothest fucking teamwork I’ve ever seen. I mean that shit was seamless. and “cooperation” was this kid’s one and only weak stat before; moving forward it’s getting harder and harder to imagine how anyone could possibly beat him

and lest I not give the others the credit they deserve, they were outstanding as well. Satou with the clutch save and then later helping to apprehend Bondo! Sero who made expert use of his quirk to get the others in position and to capture Awase! and then being the one to figure out Tokage’s weakness and exploit it! and last but most definitely not least my girl Jirou, who kept the others advised of class B’s movements throughout and was the one to actually KO Awase before Sero tied him up!

basically they all did so gooood. even Aizawa can’t possibly find anything to chew them out for can he? lol I’m so proud of my babies

HAHA!!

HE GAVE THEM A THUMBS UP! HE’S ALMOST SMILING! OH MY GOD THAT MEANS THEY DID AMAZING. AND HE EVEN FOUND A WAY TO WORK IN SOME EXTRA COMPLIMENTS FOR PROBLEM CHILD #2 OVER THERE. AWW

meanwhile poor Vlad can’t find much to say either because let’s be real there’s no way his kids were ever gonna win that one

“based on past data” wow you guys I wonder if I’m ever going to stop being over the moon about this lol

but I mean, that’s exactly why I’m so psyched! it’s that slow burn character development! this was done so, so painstakingly, and little by little all the groundwork was put in until we finally reached the payoff. and that’s why it’s so satisfying. it’s because this is the side of Bakugou that I’ve been waiting for from the very start. this is him finally achieving the potential he has always had. it took so much patience and it was so, so worth it. so yeah. fuck it. I’m gonna keep being giddy about it

poor Tokage is apologizing to her teammates and she looks really worn out and I feel bad :( poor girl

but Awase is all “if someone with moves like his turns into a ‘goody two-shoes’, they have no holes to exploit” and oh my god lol. that’s what I’m saying, though. lol everyone is so fucked now :DDDD “well fuck us, if Bakugou’s not even going to be an asshole anymore then we might as well roll over and die now”

OH MY GOD

NEW FAVORITE PANEL ALERT

LET’S ANALYZE EVERYTHING!!! LET’S FUCKING DO IT!!

“KACCHAN” IS ALIVE AND WELL, I SEE!

BUT RIGHT AWAY HE COMPLIMENTS JIROU AS WELL BECAUSE KAMINARI IS HERE DOING HIS PART IN THIS THE YEAR TWENTY BI-TEEN

WELL DUH, SHE’S A HERO KAMINARI!!!

“A DELINQUENT PICKING UP A BUNCH OF STRAY CATS” SDFLAKSDFKJL WHAT AN AMAZING SIMILE. SERO YOU CAN COME SIT BY ME

and last but not least, there isn’t so much as a blink in regards to the “Kacchan.” this seriously is going to be his new hero name. this has gone from “I sure would love it if...” to “I’m actually starting to become increasingly sure of this” to “I would put solid money on it and would be amazed at this point if it doesn’t end up happening.” honestly I just want it to happen already lol

(ETA: yeah I might lose that bet lol. I still would love this because Parallels, but those Ground Zero feels from 223 have me rethinking my entire life ngl. btw that turned out to be “ground zero” spelled out in katakana though, not 爆心地/bakushinchi, so who knows. still kinda up in the air here.)

-- oh my fucking god you guys!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ;______;

let’s analyze everything again omgggggg

look at Kacchan’s face. look at how he’s ignoring the others behind him entirely. his focus is entirely on All Might here. just waiting for his response. trying his best not to show how important it actually is to him

and All Might’s exceedingly proud face, and that praise. “CHILLS, YOUNG BAKUGOU. YOU GAVE ME FUCKING CHILLS” lmaoooo

AND THEN KACCHAN’S ULTIMATE TSUNDERE RESPONSE!!!

HE HAD TO TURN AWAY IMMEDIATELY SO THAT ALL MIGHT WOULDN’T SEE IF HE BLEW IT AND FUCKING BLUSHED OR SOMETHING

THE LEFT HAND MOVING UP TO HIS EAR! you’re telling me this kid, Bakugou fucking Katsuki, THE COCKIEST BOY WHO EVER LIVED, actually felt self-conscious to the point where he had to turn away and was all “whatever it’s not a big deal” and rubbing at his ear and avoiding eye contact with fucking everyone because he was so fucking happy that he made All Might proud, and no one can ever know!!!! QUICK, SAY SOMETHING COOL! “...YOU PROBABLY JUST CAUGHT A COLD OR SOMETHING.” NAILED IT!! SO SMOOTH KACCHAN

oh my god you guys this moment is seriously everything to me though. I’m so fucking happy for him. and he is so fucking cute jesus christ I want to pinch his adorable embarrassed cheeks ffff

OH HELLO

“REFLEX” I LOVE THAT THEY HAD TO CLARIFY IT. BECAUSE HE’S NOT THAT MEAN ANYMORE AND WE JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE KNOW

but he was so wrapped up in the praise he just got from his hero that when Deku startled him he got so flustered and he just automatically slipped back into what he knows. “nuuu leave me aloneeee.” HE’S NOT EVEN IN YOUR WAY THOUGH

SDFLKASHLDKFJ

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, BNHA FUCKING DARES YOU NOT TO SHIP THESE IDIOTS. YEAH GO ON. JUST TRY IT

DSKAFDSHLFKHAWOIFHWOKFHSLK

lol unlike with All Might, Kacchan knows exactly how to respond to Deku’s praise by this point

but they’ve seriously come such a long way as well. look at how Katsuki’s response acknowledges Deku’s strength even as he keeps the rivalry alive and well. “you’ll never be able to catch up.” acknowledging Deku as the threat he is, the one who pushes him to keep improving

and then Deku’s confident response, slipping right into a rapport with him. no stammering or hesitation. just his own cocky little grin. he’s fucking living for this. being rivals with Kacchan! don’t mind him it’s just everything he ever wanted that’s all

lol so now Katsuki’s telling him to shut up and that he’ll never be able to surpass him!

and Deku’s all

I stan two (2) idiot rivalboys who are just starting to heal their relationship after so long and let me tell you guys it is an absolute and utter pleasure to see it go down and I am here for it and will be here for it as it continues to progress and as Katsuki continues to learn how to be Less Of A Jerk and make amends for his Past Bullshit and the two of them continue to establish this rivalry and then start to take their next steps toward the final stage, the endgame if you will, which is being partners who actually trust one another. oh my god. and I can’t fucking believe we’re finally within sight of that now though and oh my fucking god you guys

what are you thinking All Miiiiiiiight. I just explained to you all of my ten zillion thoughts on this so now you give me one of yours!

asldfkjalsfdjoi

OH SO YOU WERE SHIPPING THEM TOO HUH

ffffffff I’m telling you, every time he looks at the two of them together he sees their future selves, working together and trusting one another and relying on one another and together being the greatest heroes the world has ever known. All Might is the original BakuDeku shipper. he loves them so much and he’s so proud of them

and look at the word he uses there. friend. once again seeing through all of their fronting and other nonsense to the core of what they really are. and “friend” is not a word you could use to describe what Katsuki is to Izuku until very recently, but he’s absolutely right. we saw that earlier today when Katsuki saw them talking and came over and asked if anything had happened with OFA and then listened and reassured Izuku. that wasn’t rivalry, there -- that was care and concern (very brusquely offered but still). we are officially entering a whole new stage of this thing you guys, and fucking bring it on

also Deku’s face though. like, he was trying to keep that Rival Smirk in place, but look at the Actual Grin fighting to work its way out and him being so excited because it’s Kacchan and it’s what he’s wanted for so long ffff

ANYWAY. so we’re finally going to move on from the BakuDeku part of this chapter now though so say farewell

(ETA: oh my god this one section of this recap analyzing three fucking pages was longer than some of my other recaps in their entirety. sorry, guys; I see a pair of rivals and I lose all self control.)

All Might is adding “other than that potty mouth of his” which is Classic All Might, and meanwhile Shinsou is watching the two of them (All Might and Deku) with an indecipherable expression, oh my

anyway so now we turn to our other resident cocky blond

“not half bad” from Monoma in reference to Katsuki is like a fucking Michelin star holy shit

now Tokage is coming up to him dejected and apologizing and saying that it’s mathematically impossible for class B to win now

well that is true but they can still tie though. honestly I have no idea how this last fight will go now

wow Monoma

that accelerated from insightful to pompous so quickly I don’t think anyone even had time to strap themselves in

“everyone is a supporting character in someone else’s life, and the main character in their own” fucking what lmao

I mean, he’s not wrong though. unless you’re Deku. then you’re just The Main Character. surprise! a good way to tell if you’re actually the main character in everyone’s lives and not just your own is if you get attacked by villains in every single arc btw

so Kakashi Girl is asking what is Monoma’s plan anyway

did they not come up with one yet?? they had all that time! the most time out of anyone!

Shouda says they should adapt a strategy similar to Tokage’s team

sure, if you also want to get beat 4-0 in a record five minutes

so he says they should stick together and keep themselves concealed and that there are no merits in challenging the other team to hand-to-hand combat

whatever you say. I only know two of you guys’ quirks here. I personally would be looking to take advantage of the Monoma-borrows-Shinsou’s-quirk strategy to take them by surprise, which is only going to work once but damned if it won’t be really fun to watch though

absolutely. he’s the Bakugou of their team, for sure. but if you thought Kacchan’s team had good teamwork, you ain’t seen nothing yet though

and also don’t forget that my girl Uraraka “gon’ fuck your shit UP” Ochako is also on this team! anyone wants to underestimate her, it’s at their own risk

apparently class B has been doing their research and keeping up with the times, because they’re aware that Deku’s style has come a long long way from the days of the sports festival. they even know about his new long-distance attacks! wow

also they describe him as “Bakugou’s equal or maybe even greater” in terms of both mobility and power, which is excellent. this series keeps giving me what I want

so Shinsou agrees that they need to take out Deku first “no matter the cost.” but he’s bringing up the fact that Deku is able to escape from his brainwashing

oooooh

ehhhh but I kinda feel like that’s a waste of the potential that Monoma-with-Shinsou’s-quirk has, and I don’t get how doubling down would do anything other than just make things more complicated. and also, won’t Deku’s team be on the lookout for Shinsou’s quirk now? idk just seems like a lot of things that could go wrong here. this fight is going to be so interesting

Monoma looks thoughtful and says that it’s possible “things won’t go as planned for me either”

but he says that either way they need to stop Deku from roaming free or they have no chance. “I’m counting on you, Shinsou”

so now the teachers are gathered and saying that this is the last round, which we already know. “I wonder how Shinsou will fare?”

I know Aizawa is actually way more invested in this than he’s letting on, so I’m officially rooting for class B here despite my best boy and best girl Izuku and Ochako being on the class A team. sorry guys. but I just want your new brother to do well so he can be accepted into your class and get to be your brother full time!

I highly doubt that they will! so now we’ll see whether or not he can adapt!

oh shit I forgot Mineta was on this team. hey team B I’m giving you guys a freebie. you can just come pick him up now

anyway so on their side they are of course worried the most about Shinsou. though Ochako’s reminding them that they should be worried about everyone!

lol that started out as what seemed to be a pep talk, but then turned into more of a “there’s actually way more ways we could lose than just that!” type of thing lmao

and what is this now

did you guys spend all your time practicing this instead of coming up with some actual strategies. we fucking know what you can do you boobs

lmaoooooo

what are you talking about!? honestly you could probably combine your quirks and still pull out a win even without Deku if you tried. Mina what happened to all that creativity you were overflowing with during the Band AU arc??

(ETA: thankfully she’s still got it! lol watch your back Mineta)

and anyway, since you do have Deku though, this team is basically Bakugou’s Team 2.0. the possibilities are endless! you guys are so fucking versatile! stop getting down on yourselves! where is the leadership?? the last group only just showed everyone how much of a difference that shit makes. Deku where are you

oh there you are

would that really work? I know if it was me on team B and I saw Deku off on his own I’d be like “okay great, let’s stay as far the fuck away from him as possible and go after the others while they’re undefended”

oh apparently he told them all about his weird quirk mishap earlier because Mina’s asking him how he’s doing now

but he says he’s feeling fine, same as always

and he thinks that after watching the 4th set, they’ll be on their guard against him though. yeah exactly

Mineta’s asking if he’s going to be all right because they’re relying on him

oh y’all know I’m living for this calm heroic confidence

this right here. is exactly the type of hero I want Deku to be. oh my god I’m so fucking proud of my boys in this arc, though

SHUT UP MINETA

STEADFAST DEKU IS THE BEST DEKU. GO GET YOURSELF CAPTURED BY SHINSOU ALREADY IF YOU’RE GONNA BE LIKE THAT

so now Deku’s flexing his hand and he says nothing feels off

sdlfkhalsdkflj

“after he lit a fire under me like that” oh my god. and this is why their rivalry is my favorite fucking part of the series. just look at how they push each other. Kacchan just gave the performance of a lifetime after reluctantly learning the true meaning of Christmas from the boy he formerly thought of as a pebble in his shoe. and now Deku is here calmly telling everyone they’re definitely going to win, and thinking determined thoughts after getting all fired up after that talk with his best friend. CAN I CALL THEM THAT YET? NO? I’M BEING TOLD I JUMPED THE GUN EXTREMELY BY A WHOLE LOT? ARE YOU SURE? OKAY SORRY I JUST GOT EXCITED MY BAD. BUT GIVE IT A LITTLE MORE TIME THOUGH?

anyways so Vlad is all “BEGIN!” and there are two big panels of the teams getting all set to go!

oh shit and now All Might’s phone is ringing unexpectedly

lol @ Midnight telling him to shut that thing off. All Might that’s so rude

oh shit it’s Gran! that was fast. oh my god now they can talk about Deku’s weird quirk bullshit yessssssssss

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ISN’T THIS TARTARUS?!?!

ASDFKLHLKJL

jesus christ. if you have upwards of 1500 extremely dangerous high security prisoners, then maybe just maybe you might want to go ahead and refer to them by their fucking names just for simplicity’s sake. “which one is 1541 again?” like is it good or bad that he moved? these are circumstances where even a split second of having to go through your mental filing system to recall who’s who might end up being disastrous if things go wrong

anyways don’t mind me, just nitpicking really stupid things instead of getting on with the story. okay so who is that. is it AFO??

so the guard is mumbling that it would be nice if they could hurry up with “the decision and execution” of 1541’s sentence. “at this rate we won’t be able to last”

wow. so it must be AFO, right? if they’re just letting him move around all the time, they really are screwed. what, were those gun turrets just for show? he’ll be out of there in a blink of an eye once he finally feels like it

and now we’re cutting to the cells and I’m preeeeetty sure this is AFO talking with Stain here

Chaplin sounds like some redpill prick if you ask me

also I’m not quite sure but did they just confirm that Chaplin is Gigantomachia’s true identity?

I just went and checked JBox’s translation and they made it seem like Giganto is Chaplin’s subordinate. which can’t be right because we know he’s AFO’s. serves me right for trying to verify something with JBox. I’ll just check Caleb Cook’s twitter after this and see what his thoughts are

-- wait hold up. now it looks like the guards talking. maybe JBox was right after all

(ETA: okay I wasn’t able to check Viz’s version to verify, but I think this is actually the guards talking and the correct translation should be “he’s his direct subordinate,” with him being All for One. the original Japanese line was “直系の部下だ” which basically means “he is [their] direct subordinate” without actually clarifying whose subordinate they are, so it’s a bit confusing when you don’t know who’s talking. anyways!!)

anyway so they’re saying that AFO has tons of other followers still in hiding and that it’s not just the league. and that they have to be careful not to provoke them

eh, I’d say it’s worth the risk. these other villains ain’t shit compared to AFO and we all know it. but if you leave him alive, and he gets out and regains his strength and retakes his place at the head of them all, then we’re talking about an all-out war potentially

which is actually where I’m thinking the series might be headed though. at least for the final arc. so I guess we’ll see

um whoa

seriously?? you too?? oh shit what the hell is even going on

anyways so that’s the end. oh my god. the series is getting so good again. it’s actually been really good since the Endeavorhawks arc honestly. like we’re almost back at full steam again. big things are coming, we’re heading toward another huge arc, I can feel it, and I can’t wait

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.4

Last time on Beverly Hills 90210!

Hibiki begins to understand the true nature of the Sam Reimi Spiderman trilogy as she lives the life of a superhero by night and a normal student by day in the most miserable way possible. Constant cockblocking from the duties she explicitly chose to do distance her from her significant other Miku, as it drives wedges into their friendlationship. As Hibiki breaks off a plan prepped weeks in advance to see rocks fall from the sky, she takes out her frustration on the local Kamen Rider villian rejects before coming up to see Tsubasa, only to be greeted by a new face...

Let us continue!

As the situation tenses between the three gi- hey! Hey, wait a minute! This is a flashback! That’s no fair. You’re just going to throw this to us while we’re trying to do this stuff? Get it together, show.

The show hauls our asses to a flashback, because God knows we needed one right now. It’s not just any flashback, though. It’s a flashback of our favorite redhead, Kanade!

In a straightjacket.

While everyone is staring.

“i dont usually do this but you’ve got a bad case of catch-these-handsitis”

“oh god, she’s so wild, and angry... i... why am i hoping she’s single...?”

“aye. this is the fate of all rabiosexuals out there.”

Kanade is tied down because she’s the sole survivor of a Noise attack, and more importantly, she really, really wants to fight the Noise. What she doesn’t know is that she is potentially a new candidate for a Symphogear relic.

“oh... we’d pair so well... our colors are diametrically opposed...”

“GIMMIE A FUCKING GUN AND A TEN PIECE CHICKEN MCNUGGET MEAL YOU GUY FIERI LOOKING ASSHOLE”

Genjuro, who suffers from Compulsive Child Adopting Syndrome (CCAS), immediately comes to the conclusion to adopt this tiny gremlin. It helps that her parents are, well, dead.

Fatherly instincts vibrating intensely.

Genjuro talks to this small child, who is currently 99% anger and 1% chicken fluff, scanning their conviction towards working to the goal of fighting the Noise.

In retrospect, his methods are a bit weird. Feeding into the extreme edginess of a 14 year old scorned isn’t exactly the best thing in the world. Unfortunately, as we established before, the only thing that can fight Noise are Symphogear, and the only reason he’s not in the front lines is because he can’t wield one.

Kanade naturally obliges this deal, her braincells having long since perished alongside her parents. Then Perish indeed, Kanade.

“buddy im being trained as a samurai in modern times and i still could not fathom going as hard as you”

The pact is sealed. The child is adopted. Genjuro’s adoption addiction relapses, and he’s going to have quite a long talk at AA (Adopters Anonymous).

The thing about Genjuro that makes him an interesting character is that he actually really, really, really hates the idea of having to pit children in fighting these horrible threats. Unlike a lot of male characters who have a strong sense of manliness but a poorly written way of expressing it, Genjuro manages to be a compassionate person in the face of all this terribleness. He’s the only person to think about throwing parties for these girls, and trying to give them any sort of sense of happiness and normalcy to their lives, now changed forever by machinations he has been put in charge of. He’s the Anti-Gendo. He doesn’t tell Shinji to get in the robot. He makes sure Shinji is well enough to be in the robot, and would never do so otherwise, knowing the mental toll.

That’s why ultimately, he is The Dad.

So, with that in mind, they prep Kanade to recieve the relic assigned to her. One of the major elements of using relics is compatibility. Kanade is not naturally compatible to Gungnir; they have to slowly ease her into it.

“mumble mumble cant wait to kick their asses mumble mumble”

This is a process that takes years. The show doesn’t do well in showing this, but it takes many, many years for her to be compatible after endless medical examinations and controlled situations.

The experiments, naturally, hurt like a bitch to boot.

“genjuro she’ll be okay, right?”

“flip a coin on it, tsubasa”

“oh shit yall see this news? pornhubs gonna buy tumblr! damn, i can make an all in one profile now.”

When you’re forced to watch your newly adopted daughter torture herself to be compatible with an ancient, musty cursed relic.

After all that, Kanade still isn’t compatible. Of course, nothing is simple with Kanade. You may ask yourself, “Why did Genjuro have to tie up Kanade in a straitjacket? That seems pretty abusive.”

Simply put, it’s because Kanade has never fucked around in any second of her life, having taken off all the devices on her, taken a direct syringe of the stuff she’s trying to synchronize with, and directly inject it into her, herself.

Fear.

“i am so SICK, and TIRED, of all this namby pamby wimpy ass standard shit. YALL MOTHERFUCKERS THINK I WONT GO FULL THROTTLE?! MY LIFE IS FULL THROTTLE. I! AM! GONNA! GET! SHIT! DONE! TONIGHT! BOYYYYS!”

Tsubasa, likely already going through puberty by this point, simultaneously understands both the concepts of fear and arousal witnessing this near suicidal display of absolute madness immediately.

Holy shit, Kanade.

You know shit’s bad when even Ryoko is afraid.

Turns out, however, that Kanade did the right move in becoming compatible with Gungnir, at a very physically demanding price.

Really, physically demanding.

“shouldnt have had that massive spaghetti carbonara before doing all this shit but fuck i really liked that fuckin’ spaghetti slorp slorp go the sauce ooooooooh god this is bad”

“HAHA IM FINE- IM FINE EVERYONE- THIS- THIS IS JUST THE SPAGHETTI- I HAD BEFORE THE- BEFORE THE PROCEDURE IT’S NOT- IT’S NOT BLOOD I SWEAR- OH I AM FEELING LIGHTHEADED- DON’T WORRY YOUR PRETTY HEADS IM GOOD! OH- OH FUCK-”

The scientists, who have been easily staring at this entire situation for more than 5 minutes or more, have not stepped in to do a single damn thing, as if overpowering a 14 year old to stop her from injecting a dangerous thing that could directly kill her is completely out of their paygrade. Genjuro wakes them the fuck up and likely briefly contemplates firing some of these morons.

“so this is what’s called... getting lost in the sauce...”

The scientists scramble to keep Kanade from vomiting more marinara sauce but Kanade exerts but a mere fraction of her now developing Symphogear abilities, knocking them all out with ease.

“this is some shit right here, damn”

Kanade pulls some Independence Day theatrics on everyone, as a 14 year old on the verge of death typically would if given the opportunity. Death may be certain but you at least get to go out in style. Will Smith would be proud.

The half-life of Tsubasa’s fearousal reached completion as it has mostly decayed into fear at this point.

However, the relic pendant begins glowing. This is likely the one thing that keeps Kanade from dying. An interesting comparison given Hibiki’s own survival and gear manifestation.

Kanade achieves super saiyan.

“THEY ALL SAID I WAS LOST IN THE SAUCE... AND THEY ALL THOUGHT THE SAUCE WAS LOST IN ME. BUT NOW... I AM THE SAUCE!”

Tsubasa’s fear directly transmutes itself back into arousal per the first law of alchemy. Something to note is that Tsubasa was naturally receptive to her own gear; she didn’t need to go through the medical process Kanade went through. It’s because of this that Kanade earns Tsubasa’s admiration for life, even long after she dies.

“THE SAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUCCCEEEEEEEEEE”

And so, the unambiguously gay duo known as Zwei Wing formed. Singers by day...

Noise slayers by night.

Saving the country, singing in the country, bonding together... in the country. Truly, there is no more iconic duo than these two.

“yall sing pretty”

“anyway bye”

Kanade’s initial motivation for getting Gungnir was to kill the Noise indiscriminately with no hesitation. It slowly dawns on her, though, that helping people... is good?

“the sauce lost me. i got lost in the sauce. i became the sauce. but... why don’t i... share, the sauce? because... people like sauce... and i like sauce... and we can bond together... liking sauce!”

Kanade and Tsubasa have a Captain America moment running together as Kanade muses about how singing for other people feels way better than just pure murder funtimes.

“hey, uh... tsubasa... it just hit me. i like sauce. and... you, you like sauce. do... do you want to share sauce together?”

“kanade as your girlfriend ive literally heard you talk about sauce metaphors for the last several years and if you dont think i wont slurp your sauce down without hesitation you’ve got another thing coming”

“hell yeah! ive still got some of my original leftover marinara to share!”

No heterosexual explanation whatsoever.

Not a damn one.

Oh yeah...! Because by shedding tears, the reality you face is...

Nehushtan? Weird end of a sentence, but okay.

We’re thrust back into the present time, present day, as we’re back in our three way throwdown.

Genjuro is an extra large McFuckingPissed with Large Fries and a Shake, supersized.

“you want some sauce with that? lmao, sorry, too soon”

As the werewolves come out in full force, the tension strengthens while a battle brews nearby...

“yall think you’re getting your hands on this goddamn armor without realizing im officiating this here gay pride parade. and guess what? you’re cancelled.”

“didn’t know clowns were part of the acronym, let alone capable of managing it. either way, you’ve gotta be at least this tall to use the armor.” 

“so why not make like a hobbit, drop the armor, and burrow back to whatever hidey hole you came from, bimbo baggins!”

“guess you didnt read the books, moron. last i checked, bilbo doesn’t lose his traveling partners.”

“that low blow only comes at the cost of outing yourself as a fucking nerd.”

“im not ashambed. im gonna blow your mind with some math: my foot, plus your face, subtracting the teeth from your mouth, equals an ass kicking.”

“NOTHING IN THAT FORMULA INVOLVES ANY ASS WHATSOEV-”

Hibiki gets in the way immediately, citing the ethical ramifications of fighting humans as opposed to talking to them, conveniently forgetting this was the same person ready to body her merely an episode or two ago.

“hey first of all please don’t say bimbo thats really degrading, and second of all clowns aren’t actually in the acronym but im sure there are some gay clowns out there so please dont talk like that and thirdly im sorta short and that hurt my feelings and fourthly killing is fucking bad, tsubasa, let us not commit human on human murder”

both of them, in unison, i shit you not:

“yo, you like murder? shit. i like murder too!”

“like oh my god! murder is my favorite hobby. i take it back, you’re chill. still gotta die, though.”

Hibiki is casually tossed aside from this fight, given her very ideas are anti-thetical to fighting as a whole.

A real sick battle ensues.

Something to note is that our spunky opponent has another relic at her disposal which summons Noise. This relic is called Solomon’s cane. You’ll learn more about it later.

Not a pretty sight.

Tsubasa is losing. Not only is she losing, but the enemy cool kid reveals a very notable detail of her plan: She was distracted Tsubasa on purpose. The real plan...

Was to kidnap Hibiki.

In an ironic twist, Tsubasa’s inability to work with her teammate not only put her teammate in danger, but explicitly allowed her opponent to fulfill her mission of trying to capture her.

“i changed my mind kick her ass please oh god”

Hibiki still has not learned her lesson.

Tsubasa gets her ass kicked. Her opponent pulls every punch in the book, with some lowdown dirty fighting.

Unfortunately, Tsubasa, having learned from the Kanade Amou Private School Of No Brain Cell Combat, she pulls the last ace from her sleeve.

“lmao bitch whatre you gonna do, sing?”

“i didnt design my hair like a fucking 8th note for nothing, you cabbage patch kid”

“then let’s hear it, motherfucker.”

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “Youth With You” with Me!

Episode 4 Part 2

annnnd we’re back!

welcome to part 2 of the near 4 hour episode 4 of ywy!!!

phone is plugged in, i have my water, i have some M&Ms

as the cutest canuck ever mark lee would say, lezgeddit

ok team b for a smile is beautiful

they called a meeting amongst themselves bc their expressions are lacking 

esp when compared to team a

so they’re going thru the choreo again and every so often someone is calling out expressions that’s so cute

chen youwei looks like he’s about to murder someone akdfjas;df

aalkdsf the lil kermit hanging on the chair infront of weiwei

HE’S CONFESSING HIS LOVE TO KERMIT IM SCREAMING

baby bboyo

baybey

okayyyyy

baby boyyyy

wang yi is crying bc he believes so much that chen youwei can perform it well still

how to send youwei a hug but in the past

im actually excited to see their performances

also the song is really cute tooo

adkfjsa;ldkf ok so they’re praccy again right?  and one of the members of team a, chen sijan, snuck into the room while b was practicing adkfjasdk

apparently he just really finds them alot im dead

alskjfsd hr’s too worried bc everything is going smoothly

ohhhh this is the guy who i thought was wayv’s yangyang sitting behind the mentors during the auditons

sijan i mean

aww team a’s outfits are so adorablllle

team b’s outfits are western style in like a baby blue with white detailing i like it better

akdjf;alskdf the male mentors were like “this song is directed towards girls it isnt for us so like why should we care who we choose it’s jolin’s choice”

oh shit whaddup it is weiwei’s team!!!

i literallly do not recall watching this one at all

oh my god they’re called the chatting group and their individual intros are so long i hate it adkfjs;klfd

oh my god jinfan looks so handsome i need a minute

ok here we go

lin yuzhi’s vocalizations is good

chen tao is so cuteeee awwww

lowkey super proud of them for the progress they made with their expressions

weiwei looked adorable perhaps im gigil

off topic a lil bit but chichi and huaiwei wouldve been so perfect for this song on god

aww the lyrics ar so cute i love that

JIN FAN YOU A RE SO BEAUTIFUL TO ME

wang yi is going off

oh yeah this song was mostly rappers too!!!  that’s so neat how they were able to put in their talkents for this performance

like jinfan looks so good in blue guys

i also like weiwei’s hair in this it’s good

awww they’re so cute at the end with their lil smiles and poses!!

did iqiyi really shove the losing team into a small boxed room?  what the fuck

six charming men

YAO CHI IN THE BACKGROUND LAUGHING AT HOW CUTE THEY ARE

me too baby me too

i like seeing how positive team a is about their praccy room performance tho like we stan six confident charming men

ok time for the praccy room

i love that they went into vague splits and couldnt finish it lakfjsd

aww their intros are so cute

hes so small!!!

wen yechen’s eyebrows are nice

che huixuan is so cute

awww that move with bohan and huixuan was adorable

this song is so cute ive changed my  mind i like it a lot

actually

his hair is copper now i love it for him

jiongze is tiny and copper

this choreo is so cute

like this song is the cute concept embodied on god

aaldsfs so tiana jsut told me that silence/wang sulong is the og singer and that the song is also a lot faster

and tbh

this version is more appealing to me

and also the song is an ost to love o2o which is on my to watch list hehehe

ugh my mind essentially

omg jiongze’s glasses got crooked bc of his headset that’s adorable alkdfjadslkj

fire stage now

i think xixi is in one of the teams

??

anyway both teams are practicing the choreo and minghao has arrived and his terrible shirt is unbuttoned now revealing a much better heather gray shirt underneath

ugh xixi’s eyes are so intense

i love him mom

with the mf smirk um sir??

haters will say i cant choose a bias

and haters are right

i like hearing the footsteps ngl

xixi was made to be on stage and that’s my opinion on that

minghao is telling team a that their expressions need to be more managed better

xixi is saying we need to be sexy

xixi are you feeling ok??

he said that he feels like yin shi is like a little brother awww

lowkey  i love that i can binge watch this season bc i dont like waiting for the current one to update

ook performance for the mentors time

xixi’s hair i am

looking

i already know who winse

ugh xixi is so cuteee

im everyone saying xixi is too cool

me too jolin my heart was on fire too

team a won

bc i watched xixi’s practice room performance a lot

:)))

yixing was just staring at them like :^|

adjkfs they were really saying a lot in their intros they were like the chatty group aldfkjasd;

cui shaopeng is cool

he has like a v cool aura

and green hair which is dope

shao haofan is also super cool

i still think changxi’s group was better but im also biased so does it matter

ok su yuhang i see you

wen kaiwei!!!  i think he’s my braincell buddy!

oh ok there’s a backflip i understand why they were chosen to perform on stage

we didn’t get to see that when they were performing for the judges

another nice thin i think about already knowing who debuts is that i dont have to care about the voting section at all

like it literally means nothing to me except for when i will cry when my boys leave

xixi and jaiyi’s friendship i am soft

what th e fuck is it with xixi and feathery clothing

aww they each have their own version of a fuel for themselves thats cute

and very short and to the poiint love to see it

tian dao has a very smooth voice

yo so does yin shi

i love xixi’s voice leave me olong

his is probably one of my favorites in unine ngl

li minsheng is living it up we support it

can the app stop pausing please its almost 3 am and still have over an hour left of the episode

i want to see xixi with like lavender hair or like a dark purple

@ xixi’s stylists if you’re out there

i wonder what’s gonna happen to the unine boys after they disband

i assume mr. tyger is gonna start performing together again please i want them to so badly  i miss mr. tyger

oohhh time for unine group vs the other guys ft. huaiwei

akdsflskfj minghao walking in carrying a thermos on a strap kills me

team b seems to have fierce looks down

awww yangyang patting along to the beat on his and hanhan’s knees that’s so cute

minghao’s little “this is an on fire trashcan. could be a nursery” nod look thing ???

adorable

yes im a john mulaney fan, fight me

anyway

alskjfda;lsdf minghao asking why they looked so fier

HUAIWEI RED HAIR 

THIS IS NOT A DRILL HUAIWEI RED HAIR IM IN LVOE

hes adorable im in love

akdlsjf;alsdjf kou cong ladadada it’s the motherfuckin d-o-double g (snoop dog!)

hanhan’s little pout i love one (1) man

omG BING SHA YI JIAO

im deffo not getting the pinyin right but it’s fine

jiayi baby boy

gui ze

again

a clear straeam a ababy i love him

awww guan yue is cutie pie love of my life

akdflasdjfs bing sha yi jiao

again it’s fine

qingdao dialect

alkdsjfalk;sdjf he got it wrong again i love himmmm

awwweh huaiwei imitating its so cute

cute cute cute!!

baobeiiiiii

yangyang!!!

after journey is so cool

awww his little tucking in of his lowerlip a baby i love himmmm

even if your singing sounded fierce you still looked cute

after journey told him to read the lyrics and he sounded like a newscaster aldkfja;sd

jiayi on the ground

blond jiayi is a gift

omg afterjourney gave yangyang his sunglassess to help him feel cooler omg i lvoe to see it

mc jin is jamming out to team b

i love jolin’s earrings

i wanna go for ice cream with yangyang i feel like he’s fun to be around underneath his introversion

jaldfjsld yangyang is so cute asking his members to go to a meeting

awwww hanhan and yangyang’s relationship is so preciuos im T.T

k;lkjaksjdfad jiayi is so cute

i love unine so much T.T

aldkjfslkdj the hoods tightened on their heads im scearming

jiayi, resident lizard impersonator

hanyu, resident lizard

both teams are really good and here they come for their mentor performances

are these guys, team b, wearing loubitons

like the boots have red bottoms im

big if true

yixing: omg kou cong we stan

kc: ^-^

yixing: also you need to work on a, b, and c

kc: *circus music playing gently in the background*

jolin smacked yixing i love to see it

awww jolin complimenting huaiwei i loveeee

he’s so cute!!!!!! *heart eyes emoji*

i like how intense xixi looked as he watched jiayi perform

their friendship I-

awwwww a baby chunyang

wenhan and his gray blue hair we are screaming ladies

jolin called jiayi a barbie i love herrrr

minghao is adorable i lvoe

alkdsjfalskdjf

side note yixing in khakis,,,, i am looking respectfully

yixing called both teams back to the stage

please stop pausing iqiyi app

wang jiayi is so cute

i love seeing my boys cheer for my boys

linmo is adorable

team a wins

yangyang is sobbing

aww mr. tyger members coming up to jiayi i love to see it

and xixi reaching out to jiayi 

ooh god we feling emotional in this chile’s tonight lads

aldjflksd wenhan unable to get his hand in his pocket

fucking ace bro

awwwww guan yue

aww their names are so cute

oooh went all black for the beginning increds

@ the stylists for jiayi drop the eye makeup tutorial

for science

i will buy the vip membership to iqiyi if it means they stop pausing it

gui ze

hanyu’s hair looks so good

his voice is also really stable im proud of him

linmo jamming out i love to see it

jiayi so cool!!!!

omg both mc jin and after journey leaping up for yangyang we love to see it

i am going to scream at all of hte pausing

it is 3:40 in the morning and i just want to get thru tarzan performances before i sleep christ

i love unine

their performing is so good

i know it’s not all of them but like it’s over half

mc jin is adorable “weee-hooo!”

xu minghao just said yangyang is like a fierce baby i am screaming

yangyang thankning the staff is the most imporatant thing to me

and hes even calling out to support team b i love him so much im crying

what a good bean

huaiwei is sopretty

huaiwei is a ray of sunshine im

they did not just kame hame ha us i hate themmmm a;lkdfjas;kdjf

awww huaiwei called himself a double yolked egg to have the yp find a surprise every time im cryign

god im still so mad that both teams for each song weren’t able to perform and seeing the practice room performances upsets me more

awwww huaiwei is gui ze for thsi one!

i love ihm so mcuh

part of my sunshine line from the trainees of this season

hold on i gotta screenshot that frame of huaiwei he looked so good

i love him

i rewound too far back but it’s fine

huaiwei’s hair is its own member of this group adfja;sd

i love that huang doudou complimented huaiwei

we love to hear it

ook it’s like 4:00 in the morning and i am dying

i guess this episode will have a part 3 post to it which i wasnt expecting but then again the app kept pausing and my brother decided that tonight was the night to go on a nostalgia trip for an hour and a half with me so that’s fun as well

i will see you guys later with part 3~

stay safe, get some rest

have a good rest of your day <333

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 05.09.17 lb

lololol shivaay turning the paper this way and that trying to read it (it’s in marathi, lol) 😂😂😂

hein? this house has a staircase also???? leading where???? 🤔🤔🤔

shivaaaay + chaaaaaaaai = this should be interesting. 😐😐😐

oh boy she wants him to drink it from the saucer. (always seemed weird to me.) 😕😕😕

lmaoooo “no, that doesn’t sound right.” 😂😂😂

props to him for actually trying this. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

“IT’S GOOD!”  “MERE mooh mein paani aa gaya tha!” 

lmao my tharki mind is interpreting this whole conversation in a verrrrrrrry different way! 😏😏😏

lmaoooooooooooo baalti wali bath! ab aayega mazaaaaaa. the true middle class experience! never am i more humbled than when i have to do a baalti bath back in india. 😌😌😌

please to be watching this video by my fav, kenny sebastian, and him describing the process super accurately. my place in kerala is in the city and the bathroom is in the house and all (ooooh! so fancy!), but this is pretty much how it goes. i can smell the medimix just watching this video! 🙃🙃🙃

you were so pleased with the “rain water harvesting” yesterday billu. time to walk the talk! 😊😊😊

LOL HE TOOK HER SERIOUSLY. 😂😂😂

pft, “humare paas sabun bhi hai????” idiottttt 🙄🙄🙄

LMAO HE TOOK HER SERIOUSLY ABOUT THE DATUN TOO. MAN, RICH PEOPLE ARE SO FUN TO FUCK WITH. 🤣🤣🤣

“main jaa raha hoon nahaane ke liye. tum chalogi mere saath?”

lmao why, billu? do you want a witness for your embarrassment? trust me, you’re not gonna feel even remotely sexy while doing a middle class baalti bath. 

gauri is worried about becoming vidhwaa 6 months into her marriage. 😬😬😬

LMAOOOOO AAPKO US SAAND KE SAATH BAITHKE CHITHRA NAHI BANANE HAI 😂😂😂

OH MY GOD OMKARA, YOU ARE TRULY AN IDIOT. DANGAL MOVIE DEKHNE SE KOI PEHELWAN NAHI HO JAATA. MATLAB,  I’VE WATCHED LEGALLY BLONDE 300 TIMES, MAIN LAWYER THODI HO GAYI HOON. 😒😒😒

same, gauri. #same. 

oufff shivaay ke sarrr se nkk ka bhoot utarkar iske sarrr chadh gaya hai. 😑😑😑

hahahaha herrrrr imitation. her faaaace. i love her so much. 😂😂😂

OMG WTF EVEN ARE THESE KURTAS SHIVAAY IS WEARING THEY LOOK FUCKING RIDICULOUS, WHY ISN’T HE JUST WEARING HIS REGULAR KURTAS THAT HE WEARS AT HOME?!!?!? CURSE YOU SHIRALI CURSE YOU TO HELL, JUST LET THE MAN LIVE 😫😫😫

oh boyyyy chawl udaana hai 😬😬😬

10 to 1 the maalik is…

…. YUP. 😒😒😒

the fuck shivaay, do you even pay attention to half the orders you give? 😐😐😐 how many bldgs have you felled like this without even knowing?

ok the rule was to not use your name and identity for undue advantages. not for situations like these! 😩😩😩

OH MY GOD HE’S ACTUALLY YOUTUBING HOW TO DO KUSHTI. 😧😧😧

son, if that worked, all the fitness videos i watch and subscribe to would have me sporting 6 pack abs and zero jiggle. 😣😣😣

lmao ek din mein 5 kele khaa ke kya hona hai????? 😶😶😶

chor naukar has an unsolicited opinion. 🙄🙄🙄

lmao their reaction! omki’s “get a load of this guy!” head nod. baat aane par dono ek team ho gaye. abhi chor ki jamkar dhulaai hogi. 😂😂😂

hey chawl-blower-upper-dude, why are you such an asshole? just chill maybe? 😒😒😒

gotta love these oBahus and how they’re all ready to throw down the second someone is mean to their patis.  (ง •̀_•́)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง 

GOD SHIVAAY YOU’RE AN IDIOT. JUST MAKE A CALL AND GET YOUR OFFICE TO STOP THE PLAN. HONESTLY. 😒😒😒

“IS CHAWL MEIN REHNE WAALA EK AAM AADMI.” 

WHOSE HAIR KE HIGHLIGHTS COST MORE THAN THE MONTHLY BUDGET OF PPL IN THIS CHAWL. 🙄🙄🙄

…. is he sitting ON the dynamite? 😟😟😟

lmao only the rich think that “the right to peacefully protest” achieves ANYTHING in india. bitch, the aam aadmi has no TIME to protest, peacefully or otherwise. humein ghar bhi chalaane hote hai. 🙄🙄🙄

i feel bad for the explosion guy. he’s also an aam aadmi, trying to do his damn job. kahaan is majnu se paala pad gaya aaj. 😑😑😑

…. and you’re only doing this for anika and sahil? they have alternate housing and are sorted in life now. WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE LIVING IN THE CHAWL WHO DON’T? AM I SUPPOSED TO AWWWWW OVER THIS BS? 😤😤😤

anika’s like OMG!SEXXXXXXXXX TAKE ME NOW HUBBY hearing that sentimental pap though. oh well. whatever works for her. 😕😕😕

lmaooooo her mooophat jawab and his honest laugh at her bindaass-ness. 😊😊😊

the couple that does dharna together, stays together, i guess? 🤔🤔🤔

ok i can’t stop laughing at omki’s hella lame kushti moves. that too, with this untrained idiot who’s not even that heavily built. such false complacency. 😐😐😐

omki going in with some classic WWE moves. 😊😊😊

gauri’s excitement is hella cute though. 😍😍😍

“abbe kahan jaa raha hai bhaag ke? practice kiske saath karoonga abhi?” 

pffffffffffft. 

wifey be like I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE. 🙋🏽🙋🏽🙋🏽

girl, stop putting the sunglasses on every 3 minutes to look cool. woh bhi raat mein. it’s laaaaaaame. 🙄🙄🙄

sure. ok. with all the hair open. you been hanging out with bhavya too much. 😑😑😑

omki be like, oh yeah baby, imma wrestle with you. imma wrestle with you gooooooooooood. imma lift you up and pin you down and then take my shirt off and… hmm? what? yes. wrestling. this is how it’s done. (in the dangal themed porno i came across on the dark side of the web during my “research”.) 😏😏😏😏

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 😍😍😍😍

i like how the chulbul moments are there too. omki is canon confirmed bi/pan/demisexual, fiiiiiiiiiiight me. 😊😊😊

haaaaaaye my cuties. 💖💖💖

i like how it’s night in… lonavla or wherever the f rikara are, and early morning in mumbai where shivika are. because the two places are in DIFFERENT TIME ZONES 12 HOURS APART. 😐😐😐

balbirrrrrrrr should NOTTTTTTTTTT have done that. 😠😠😠

LMAO “AYE INKE HEIGHT PE MAT JAA!!!!!!!!”  “BOLNA ZAROORI THA YEH?” “YEH MOTA AAPKE HEIGHT KA MAZAAK UDAA RAHA HAI!” “haan, aur tum usse aur underline kar do!!!” 

my god what a family of fighty little munchkins this is today. 😊😊😊

oh, iska boss bhi idhar hi hai? 

LMAO IS THAT KHANNAAAAAAAAAA?????????? HAHAHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

lollllllllllllll khanna’s been using the SSO name to act like big mannnnn. 

“namaste khannaji!” “nahi, BOSS!” 

heeeee heeee heeeeeee 😂😂😂

ok that looks like the most uncomfortable way to sleep, gauri. 

has he been practicing all night????? great, he’s gonna go wrestle with NO training, and not having SLEPT either. idiot. 😒😒😒

oufffff gauri ask bhavya to send BACKUP instead of asking her for kushti tips, jfc. 😑😑😑

billu ka swaagat toh aise kiya jaa raha hai jaise jung se lauta ho. fucking ridiculous. 🙄🙄🙄

such cute. 💖💖💖💖💖💖

dadi gave you the fucking night off from her pehredaari to go at it like rabbits and you spent it talking about baltis and whatnot. this is what you call WASTE OF OPPORTUNITY. 😫😫😫😫

bhavya looking 10000% done with rudra is me. #freeMyGirl 😣😣😣

lo, billu ne bhavya ko bhi adopt kar liya. he’s like who needs stupidass brothers when i can have AWESOMEASS SISTERSSSSSSSS 😊😊😊

LMAOO RUDRA’S LOOK OF BETRAYAL 🤣🤣🤣🤣

don’t think i missed bhavya looking all choked up though. 😭😭😭

allllllllll the toe touches in the world aren’t gonna help ya, omki. 😐😐😐

dude, like yeh balram legit apne khanna ka bhai lagta hai. 😗😗😗

of course he’s not gonna listen. 🙄🙄🙄

aaaaaaaaaaaand there goes the lassi. and the omkara. 😕😕😕

OMG THAT SHOT OF HIS FACE BOUNCING OFF THE FLOOR HAHAHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣

HE’S FUCKING OUT. WITHOUT EVEN STEPPING INTO THE RING LOLOLOLOLOLOL. THIS IS FUCKING HILAAAAAAAAAAAARIOUS HAHAHAHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

LMAO HOW EVEN IS THE SHOW PLAYING THIS AS A SERIOUS MOMENT I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING OMG 😂😂😂😂

ouff. stupid mardaangi taunts. #masculinitySoFragile

ok fwding the nonsense till bulbul gets into the ring. 

aw. bhavyaaa. *hugs her* we love you, we do. which is why we want better for you than f’ing rudra. sumo toh khud hi jaan chudaaa kar chali gayi. ab tumhe kaise bachaaye is se. 🙁🙁🙁

anika’s crying too. and has dialogues about family ka hissa and all. all that is okay, but please god don’t make her chutki. 😬😬😬

rudra calling for cessation of this divisive team policy in order to get some bro bonding time. 😌😌😌

waaah, dadi maan bhi gayi. 😯😯😯

wait, shivaay and rudra have a GANG? these ppl have OTHER friends??? 😧😧😧

surprise element? um… idk why but my mind instantly went to bachelor party and strippers. 😬😬😬

gauri be like BITCH, DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE AND EK JHAANP MEIN DEEWAR PE SATTAAO-FY YOU 😠😠😠😠

big talk from all the men. PFT. COMEEEEEEEEE ONNNNN GAURIIII. 

LMAO THE INTERCUTS TO SHOW OM STILL PASSED OUT COLD IS MAKING ME LOL SO HARD 😂😂😂

girl please, TIE YOUR DAMN HAIR UP. WHAT’S WRONG WITH ALL THE WOMEN IN THIS SHOW 😩😩😩

can balram stop with the stupid yelling and faces? coz does this woman look intimidated by it? uh. that would be a resounding NO. 🙄🙄🙄

ok fwding. coz honestly i fucking CAN’T. 

god just fucking kick him in the nutsssss and END THISSSSSS 😫😫😫

LMAO OMKI JUST WOKE UP AND IS LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK 😟😟😟😟😟

hold up, few seconds ka rewind. waaah, shivaay ki tarah ab isse bhi Awareness™ chadhta hai when wife is hurt/in danger. 

mubarak ho on your new superpowers, omkiiii! they’re gonna make your life an anxiety-ridden hell, since YOUR wife wants to fight every third person she meets. 🙃🙃🙃

hubs be like AW HELL NO, NO ONE MESSES WITH MY CHIRAIYYA; HERE HAVE A KICK TO THE GODDAMN CHEST 😤😤😤😡😡😡

arre waaaaah. out in like a minute. omki toh bada chupaa rustam nikla! boy, take off that shirt so we can see what you’re REALLLLLLYY working with, body wise. you know, FOR RESEARCH. 😗😗😗

what “uthhhhhh balram”??? whoever hits the ground back-first loses. and he’s lost. fuck off now sadde hue tauji. 😒😒😒

haaaaaaaaaaaye. my sweeeetooooos. 💗💗💗

actualllllllly cryingggggg at omkiiiiii freely confessing that he couldn’t bear to see her get hurttttttttt. 😭😭😭😭😭

“shankarji ki tarah gusse mein aapki teesri aankh khul gayi.” 😅😅😅

JUST KISS ALREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 😩😩😩😩

yes ok uncleji, thanks for your completely unsolicited validation but we just want the murti, so give us that and we’ll be on our way, thanks. 😒😒😒

rikara be like pyaaaaaaar? whaaat? no! we’re just roomies! with a lot of sexual tension. 😯😯😯😯😯

lmaoooo chubby has some new cockamamie scheme. 😆😆😆

hahahaha “investment”. sure. maybe ask your cambridge mba waala bhaiyya how investments actually work?????? 🙄🙄🙄

[sorreltail]

ill delete this soon

bad cop hogwarts au

@pouncival

points to cover: houses, prefect stuff, meetings, classes, Naughty Stuff, other cats, pets, life after hogwarts, quidditch >:((, HYDRATION, teachers, uhhhhh and anything else i can think of

HOUSES: rumples a gryffindor. the sorting hat took about three seconds. alonzos a hufflepuff even tho his family have always been ravenclaws and he desperately wanted to be a gryffindor, he cried after the sorting ceremony also: jenny is huffpuff head, skimble is p much hagrid, jelly is raven, gus is gryffdor and grizabella is slytherin,,, headmaster deuteronomy lmao

PREFECT STUFF: alonzos a prefect. Obviously, i mean come on. he takes it so seriously,,, hes already dating rumple when he becomes one and she delights in the fact that he can sometimes b persuaded to let her go with a warning bc yo thats what u get for fucking a prefect,,, once she wanted to get in ravenclaw tower and she didnt know the answer to the riddle so she was like "LONZYYY I HAVE A RIDDLE THAT I NEED TO FIND THE ANSWER TO FOR HOMEWORRKKKKK" and hes a library fiend so he spent like an hour looking it up and then he told her and she was like "ok thanks im going off 2 ravenclaw tower now" and he was so distraught he took ten points from hufflepuff for helping her. the other prefects Donut Understand their relationship ghdkhgd bc mungo and rumple r worse than fred and george but eventually it gets to the point where they catch her doin some rulebreaking and shes like... do u seriously feel like dealing with me so they just go get alonzo. she gets drunk on firewhisky one time and he takes her back up to gryffindor tower and spends ten minutes trying to get the fat lady to let her in but the fat lady is annoyed and refusing and it goes like "rumple tell her the password" "nooOooOoOooOo" "do you know the password" ">:3c" "rumple teLL HER THE PASSWORD" for another half hour and eventually gives up and decides to wait for the next gryffindors to come along and let her in but the next one to come along is mungo and then its twice as bad when alonzo becomes head boy (munk is the year above them) he cries, and rumple opens her letter like I GOT HEAD GIRL??!!!!????? and hes like. What. and shes like hehehehehe just kidding who the fuck do u think i am,, also. prefects bathroom. he ends up letting her find out the password and then shes constantly in there and then Somehow (i wonder how) mungo finds out and then they have to change it before the whole school knows,,, oh my god the other prefects tease him so much and at first hes like eh..heh...yeah but after a while hes like fuck off please, stop shittalking my girlfriend to me, and he gets a wee bit defensive about it so they give up especially in their final year when hes head boyyyy

QUIDDITCH: OKAY so alonzo wanted to play quidditch as a seeker bc ofc he did right?? i mean theres so many rules. such nice uniforms. but he never made the tryouts bc he wasnt willing to take the risks needed to get the golden thingy (also, vitiligo, hes got autoimmune shit and he has 2 b careful w his health),,, rumple however. rumples grown up loving the harpies and desperately wanting to be a beater. then she meets mungo and the two of them are fucking terrifying beaters, they are So Good, its honestly the only reason why gryffindor hasnt lost the house cup every fucking year, them helping win p much every game kind of balances out all the points they lose for being shits lmao,,, we had a thought that she gets hurt sometime in a game, and alonzo is. so terribly smothering he brings in all his books to study by her bed in the hospital wing and takes notes for her and is way too cautious after that and begs her to stop playing and she just. Looks at him. :| anyway she does eventually become quidditch captain nyehehe and so shes captain, hes head boy, they are a glorious power couple,,, the nerds love alonzo, the delinquents and sportheads love rumple, together they are So Respected,, it also means she gets actual access to the prefects bathroom which changes very little except for how sneaky she has to be to get in

MEETINGS: okay so in true hogwarts au fashion they first meet on the train as first years,,, rumple: hi can i sit here (she says as shes sat down) are u muggleborn im a halfblood alonzo: im from an old wzarding family my name is draco malfuck you rumple: wow u sound like an asshole. what house r u gonna be in. im gryffindor alonzo: me too rumple: u dont seem like one alonzo: you do :// rude fuck. this is my owl her name is aegolius im pretentious rumple: cool name. this is my cat her name is gwynog GO HARPIES alonzo: ive never had physical contact with a living thing in my life can i pet her rumple: sure alonzo: soft anyway after they get sorted they never talk again. End Of Au. jks but forreal they dont talk for years until they get their electives and theyre partnered in care of magical creatures and finally talk again and it goes like rumple: hey youre that kid who cried at the sorting ceremony alonzo: rumple: sup somehow the whole Falling In Love part is the one bit we havent really talked about but it happens and its cute

id also like to add that alonzos parents are an old italian wizarding family but they pride themselves on being chic, modern wizards who incorporate certain muggle things, mostly fashion, his mums a fashion designer, so all his clothes are beautiful and tailored and more Modern than most,, ANYWAY they also Want The Best for him and when he tells them who hes dating (A HALFBLOOD RAISED AMONG MUGGLES??? A GIRL BEATER???? LOOK AT HER SCHOOL RECORDS DARLING SHES A DELINQUENT!!!!!!) and they refuse to let him stay at her house or let her come over,,, until he writes home one day like. shes captain of the quidditch team what more do u want shes going to do it professionally) and theyre Sporty Folks who are So Fucking Into Quidditch and by this point theyve realised that she's not turning him into a Bad Kid so they finally accept her

CLASSES: ive forgotten like all of their classes kmn anyway alonzo wants to be an auror. thats all he wants. thats his ambition. so he studies his ass off from day one and gets perfect grades and is a model student. rumple is. perhaps not. just think fred and george thats her and mungo, shes a terror but somehow she still manages to pass everything through an annoying natural talent. alonzos kind of hellbent on making her get good grades and they spend much of their time in the library, hes in there Every Day, he pretty much has a reserved table, rumple sits around practicing jinxes on any unfortunate passerbys and trying to pester him and/or make him kiss her he loves presentations, hes so good at them, he prepares for weeks and then the entire time rumples in the back of class making Naughty Gestures. he chokes on his water when she does presentations theyre short but shes really charismatic so he just kind of sits there staring at her like an idiot because gosh she has a nice voice rumples a pro at brooms obviously, alonzos Hella Nervous on them, he has the best and safest model, she offers to give him private lessons but really its just an opportunity for dick jokes what can u do. he gets her a really good really SAFE and fast broom for christmas one year bc what else does a rich boy get his girlfriend who kicks ass at quidditch which brings me to

NAUGHTY STUFF: kittens look away! look for like. a full three months hes like Im Not Having Sex At School Its Against the rRULES!!!!!! and rumples like. well then we either abstain until we graduate or we can do it at your parents place and. No. The Horror. he changes his mind very quickly. they happen to stumble across the room of requirement a few times when.uh. the need is great. u know how it goes. im also gonna go out on a limb and admit that alonzo is rather fond of the Luxury Baths in the prefects bathroom and rumple is very good at catching him when hes in there and enchanting the door or some shit so nobody disturbs them :-)) this is from one of those hogwarts au headcanon posts but i love it, he gives a presentation on sex ed and shit (lets pretend hogwarts is better than it is) and rumple sits in the back asking the worst questions and inside he wants to scream u KNOW what that is we did it last nIGHT

other cats: yes ok here we go. in their year is misto, victoria, admetus, mungo, coricopat, tantomile and im sure im missing people here, year above them  is munk, tugger, deme, bomba, cassandra, macavity (???!!!???) and everyone else is younger by a year or two, also worth mentioning is etcetera being rumples younger sister and theyre adorable and lovely etcetera for president of the world munk and cass or deme are probably head boy and girl of their year,  cass is dating tantomile, bombas dating demeter, alonzo has the biggest crush on munk as well (optional polyamory for u fucks) (worth saying that the reason rumple went to sneak into ravenclaw tower was to see victoria btw),,, alonzo and victoria are head boy and girl of their year, and probably jemima andddddddd idk maybe g eorge fuck me man idk admetus is another prefect, so's tantomile tbh,,, id say victoria but she wants to focus on her studies

PETS: alonzo has this beautiful eagle owl, scariest of all owls, her name is aegoleius (pronounced ay-JEE-lee-us) it means bird of prey and he adores her. shes beautifully trained. rumple has a kitty that im personally in love with who is basically rumpleteazer as a cat lol shes a calico but her name is gwenog after the famous beater of the harpies <33333 eventually they'll get another cat thatll be a suspiciously familiar black and white patched triangle shorthair named Faolan (sorta like FWAY-larn) even tho it means little wolf because he thought it sounded cool and he read it in a book and thought it was pronouned faow-lahn, honestly they probably end up getting a whole ton of cats

LIFE AFTER HOGWARTS: WOO im excited for this bit. okay. so. alonzo wants to be an auror. hes spent his whole life training for this. he immediately applies after graduation and gets in and starts his rigorous three year training process. in the meantime rumples gone into professional quidditch, and shes really really good at it but shes like.... this isnt fun anymore. bc its not just a school game anymore, its a professional sport, and what do u mean u cant jinx the opponents!!!! so for a while she just helps him train "ok so if you walk like THIS and use this charm your footsteps will be totally silent blah blah boh my god i should be an auror" and hes like. You. want to be an auror. and shes like. Yup. and its a damn good thing he was so obsessive about her getting good marks bc her newts are good enough that she can apply. they do a criminal record check, but mind u that altho rumples done naughty stuff, shes never actually. Been Caught doing anything particularly bad. so her record is somehoW CLEAN and she gets in. its a miracle. "what did you do. who did you blackmail" "i sucked every single aurors dick lonzy" "HOW DID YOU GET IN" "EVERY! SINGLE! DICK!" but hes also really really prouD AND THAT MEANS THEY CAN HELP EACH OTHER TRAIN!!!!! cue training montage. rumple pulls a tonks and coasts thru a lot of it rlly easily and almost fails some but they both eventually graduate and become aurors and work together and she covers her trenchcoat in patches and he keeps asking if he has to wear his because sweet jesus it is ugly ITS BROWN, and at this point his parents r more than content with rumple lmao, anyway they live together in a lovely little house that is kept in perfect order, rumple enchants EVERYTHING to talk, its cute, fucking domestic shit yes please

HYDRATION LOL look this isnt even important but alonzo is so deeply into that health shit. he only eats dark chocolate, and most importantly he fucking loves spending time in the kitchen with jenny. she cooks, he makes custom face masks, and also infused water. so much infused water. he has different """recipes""" and he always has a bottle of lovely chilled water with fucking apple and ginger and lemongrass shit in it that he made the night before, and since rumple fucking hates drinking anything thats not tropical sunshine punch fruit juice he constantly is trying to figure out a recipe of infused water that she'll drink becUSE ITS NOT HEALTHY RUMPLE!!!!!!!! YOU NEED WATER, but she thinks its disgusting and eventually he gives up and carries a bottle of juice with him in case he sees her because its better than nothing,

yeah ok im,,,,, i assume there will be more to come but for now this is what u get