#Lambert wrote a better one

[cotl-flower-crown]

So @oneofthosenightbees brought a fanfic idea to me and we both agreed that it would fit well in gang au, so here we go, meet gang au Monch! I'm just gonna copy and paste what I wrote in discord and hope it makes sense. (Let me know if I should put up some content warnings)

Mmmm let's see, Monch would probably be one of the citizens of the Faith City who grew up in there her whole life. She used to love the city and she wanted to help it get better the best way she could, so she joined the police forces and eventually was promoted to the position of a detective. Not long after gaining that position Shamura and their siblings started to thrive in their domains and Monch picked up on that. They appear suddenly and begin to shape the city for the better and at the same time a mysterious organisation let itself known to do a bunch of shady business in the city. Monch managed to discover that Shamura and the rest are behind the organisation and she confronts them. Heket and Leshy are ready to kill her, but Shamura pulls her into a discussion. Yes, they are very deep into the organised crime in the city, but at the same time the Faith City have never been doing this well, so is it really something that should be stopped? Doesn't that justifies the means if it's for the better? Whatever Shamura tells Monch, it really messes with her perception of good and evil, but she doesn't back out. She attempts to bring this to the chief police, but they tell her to drop it. In fact if she won't, then they will make her drop it. The best next solution is to take it even higher, outside of the city, but then she's sent a message. A very brutal message. I'm not sure about specifics, but I'm thinking that she was framed into murder by Shamura's goons together with the police, which completely ruined her reputation and she had to hide. With ruined name and a wanted poster nobody would believe her, so dejected, bitter and hopeless she decided to stay in hiding, developing an alcohol addiction in the process. Until a few years later she's sent a message from Lambert, who "hopes" that she might help him "get rid of the evil corrupting the city" and "bring justice for his late family and people like him".

Her and Lambert meet and at this point it's not really a common knowledge that Lambert as a CEO and "owner" of his cleaning company has anything to do with the Red Crowns outside of the gang. So she doesn't really have a reason to not believe Lambert when he tells her how much this city "means" to him and how much he wishes to be able to get rid of the crime infestation, so he and many others can walk the streets feeling safe. But he's just a businessman, he doesn't know how to fight the crime. But maybe she can help him? She was a detective once after all... She sees a little bit of herself in Lambert's act and it sparks a little bit of hope in her once more, to be able to clear her name and bring the city back to it's original glory (which probably never was to begin with). They figured out that the best way to lessen Shamura's influence, is by cutting off their business partners (looking at gRenn rn) and later expose their crimes. Lambert allows her to help him get out the good word for him to the people of interest by working from the shadows. Meanwhile she also does her own research on what's really going on in the city and she warns Lambert about the Red Crowns and how he should stay away from them. She would find all the evidence needed to get police's attention and bring it straight to Lambert, because he's a good man with influence, right? The police will listen to him for sure! While that's going on, she find some loose ends that don't seem to make sense with what Lambert is telling her. Which means that there's either some miscommunications on her part, or Lambert is lying to her. But why Lambert would lie to her? He's a good man, there's no way that he would lie to her, right? They're partners, friends even! It's probably something she got wrong, she tends to do that lately with her issues...

And then she finally sees it. Lambert interacting with Narinder, whom she discovered is the leader of the Red Crowns. Hell, it's almost like they're lovers... but that can't be right! Maybe he doesn't know that Narinder is their enemy? Maybe Narinder manipulated him? So she finally confronts Lambert. And Lambert's mask finally cracks. He laughs, as he was wondering just how long it would take her to figure this out. But it doesn't click with her just yet, huh? Damn, for a detective in her past, she's really shitty at connecting the dots. And the loose ends finally tie together in a fine knot. She wasn't wrong all this time. He was lying to her after all. She wanted to believe so hard in good in people that she didn't notice the blatant snake that was right in front of her. She wanted to believe in the good cause so badly that she didn't realise that she's been working with a wolf in sheep's clothing all this time. He never cared for the good of the city, he's just... He's just like them. And she helped him. It all feels like a nightmare. Except this is worse, because she cannot wake up from it. She couldn't believe how naive she was, how stupid and useless she was to trust Lambert. It is all useless, isn't it? There is no way to save this city. There will always appear another Shamura, another Lambert, who will turn this place into a deeper and deeper pit full of vipers. There is no hope for this place. There is no hope for her... "So what is going to happen now?" she asks "Will you try to kill me? To ruin my reputation once more, like they did? Do whatever you can to assure that your position is safe?" Lambert smiles. "No, I think the damage was already done. Wouldn't you agree?" he says in a silky soft voice that cuts her deeply, as she silently glares at him "No, you've been a great asset to my team and I think it's only fair that you're compensated accordingly for your hard work"

A praise and a reward cut somehow so, so much deeper than if he just stabbed her in the heart right then and there. Because that meant that he treated her as an ally. She did help him after all. How does that make her any better than him? She silently got up and left Lambert behind. The last words he spoke to her was "I appreciate your help, bestie. I'll see you around." with a stiffed giggle. She almost puked at those words. And that was the last time Lambert have heard from her. Who knows what happened, maybe she left the city, maybe she locked herself away, maybe something worse... Lambert wouldn't know or care either way.

The End.

[cas-kingdom]

For drabble requests can you write

“This means war, my dear.” And “You better run!”

With The Witcher? Maybe centered around Lambert and R pretty please? 🥰

A/N: I wrote this with my OC, Akela. (Switched the dialogue prompt up a bit).

"You know this means war."

The disgruntled voice seemed most unnatural when accompanying a ginger witcher with his arms full of pillows. Still, Lambert made sure he got his point across, glaring at each witcher he passed on his way to the pitiful campfire in the centre, as though they weren't as imprisoned as he was. He dropped the pillows and stretched his hands out towards the flames, getting them as close as possible without burning himself, and then flopped miserably on the cold, cold ground.

Eskel rolled his eyes as he helped the five-year-old on his lap stretch her marshmallow on a stick closer to the flames. "Don't be so dramatic."

"Dramatic?" Lambert, if it was possible, seemed even more unimpressed. "It's so fucking cold out here I'm going to wake up with blue balls."

"It's Akela's birthday, and Akela wants to sleep outside. So, we sleep outside."

The ginger grumbled something under his breath and pulled his knees to his chest. He wasn't wrong - the wind was glacial - but if there was one thing that could force a group of monster-killing machines out into the biting air, it was Akela.

"And where's Geralt, huh?" Lambert continued. "If we're going to freeze our asses off out here for his kid then-"

Geralt silenced him with a prompt whack to the back of his head as he passed, holding an Akela-sized sheepskin coat in his hands. "I'm here. Stop complaining. Akela, put this on."

Vesemir smiled ironically warmly. "A bit of cold never hurt anyone," he said, attempting unsuccessfully to mask his shivering. "Hm, Little Wolf? What do you say? Will you go and give Lambert a big, warm hug?"

A toothy grin spread across Akela's face. She dropped the marshmallow stick and clambered off Eskel's lap before racing over to Lambert, whose shoulders seemed to slacken ever so slightly as she leapt into his arms.

Lambert squeezed her. "Thanks, brat," he said, "but this doesn't change a thing."

Eskel shuffled closer to Vesemir and Geralt. Around them, shivering witchers were grappling between appeasing the girl they all loved so dearly, and vaulting back indoors.

Silently, he leaned towards them. "You realise she will want to go indoors again in half an hour or so?"

Vesemir wrapped his arms around his body and stretched his facial muscles, vaguely realising he felt quite numb. "Oh, we're all counting on it," he said. "So are Lambert's balls."

Witcher Masterpost

[mysticstarlightduck]

New Tag Game! Character Aesthetic Deep-Dive! <3

Making a new tag game because I'm inspired and want to show the world my aesthetics from Scrapyard Boys, so here we go!

Rules: Make a moodboard with your character's aesthetic, a playlist that fits their vibe, "badly summarize them" (like, talk about their personality, but funnily), etc. It absolutely does not need to be super detailed!!!!!

✦ Character Aesthetic: Adrien Rosetrom, WIP -Scrapyard Boys

♡ Moodboard ♡

♡ Playlist ♡

Fur Elise - Faouzia

I'll dance, I'll dance like a puppet on your string I'll sing when you order me to sing I'll ring like a desperate violin [...] So play me like my name is Fur Elise Lie to me and say you'll never leave Drown me in your twisted melodies I'll pretend you wrote 'em all for me

For Your Entertainment - Adam Lambert

Let's go, it's my show Baby, do what I say Don't trip off the glitz That I'm gonna display I told ya I'ma hold ya down until you're amazed Give it to ya 'til you're screaming my name [...] Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet You thought an angel swept you off your feet Well, I'm about to turn up the heat I'm here for your entertainment

Ashes - Stellar

Ring around the rosie Pocket full of posie I'ma fucking blow all the ashes down Ring around the rosie Pocket full of posie I'ma fucking go crazy for you now

Break Stuff - Limp Bizkit

It's just one of those days when you don't wanna wake up Everything is fucked, everybody sucks You don't really know why, but you wanna justify Rippin' someone's head off No human contact, and if you interact Your life is on contract Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker It's just one of those days It's all about the he-says-she-says bullshit I think you better quit lettin' shit slip Or you'll be leavin' with a fat lip

Shut Up! - Simple Plan

There you go, you're always so right It's all a big show, it's all about you You think you know what everyone needs You always take time to criticize me It seems like everyday I make mistakes I just can't get it right It's like I'm the one you love to hate But not today So shut up, shut up, shut up, don't wanna hear it Get out, get out, get out, get out of my way Step up, step up, step up, you'll never stop me Nothing you say today is gonna bring me down

♡ Badly Summarized OC ♡

Angsty young adult makes bad life decisions he knows he will regret later but enjoys the Vibes tm

Troublemaker who can barely take care of his own mental health ends up the unwilling guardian of two traumatized teenagers

Drama queen incarnate who loves some good Tea, but also cries while watching romantic comedies

Rockstar wannabe kicked out by bigoted grandmother still makes it alright in the end

Somehow the best and worst older sibling in the world at the same time

"I HAVE THE POWER OF ENERGY DRINKS AND ANIME ON MY SIDE OOOOO"

Irresponsible 25-year-old too angry to give a damn

BREAKING NEWS: Local stripper makes mob boss regret his very existence, while having The Time of His Life

Tagging (gently): @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @oh-no-another-idea, @littleladymab,

@winterandwords, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling

@agirlandherquill, @anoelleart, @ray-writes-n-shit

@the-golden-comet, @writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess, @forthesanityofstorytellers

@i-can-even-burn-salad, @ominous-feychild, @finickyfelix

@lassiesandiego, @thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams, @the-letterbox-archives @differentnighttale,

@wyked-ao3 and OPEN TAG

[solcorvidae]

45. Of the Kiss list?

I immediately thought of Aiden and Lambert for this one! I am shocked at how quickly I wrote it too. Thank you for the ask!! This one was a lot of fun 🖤🖤

Prompt 45: "We shouldn't do this," but they do so anyway. Ship/Characters: Lambert/Aiden Word Count: 959 words

Fic below the cut and on AO3

Lambert sat across the camp from the sharp, fire-lit features of the Cat. He had been travelling with him for some months now, and his company was, more often than not, pleasant. Not that Lambert would dare admit such things out loud. It was a thought that he kept tucked away under his tongue, safely stored, readily available, but just as easily swallowed. 

Aiden was curious. He spoke with a crisp tone that projected authority and confidence. It was a perfected sound honed through many years of pushback and fighting for survival. Aiden was not trained in the same ways as the more traditional School of the Wolf; he was not like Lambert in that way at all. Lambert used his strength and body, whereas Aiden preferred his alacritous tongue and deception. Aiden was a performer, which meant he made for a generous liar. 

The air around the Cat changed when they returned from the Path, retreating to the isolation of their camp. Each night, in the comfort of the firelight, Aiden would soften. He still had a certain sharpness to him, particularly in his expressions; no matter how theatrical, they always had a certain edge he could never appear to let go of. 

Lambert poked at the fire with a large stick, knocking over the charred wood that crackled before them, creating an atmosphere of comfort and warmth. Embers shot up to the sky, dancing in the rising air, reflecting deeply in Aiden's wide, awaiting eyes. Something stirred in the back of Lambert's mind at that. He cocked his head to one side, deepening his gaze unto the man across the fire. 

"What?" Aiden asked, noticing the little shift in Lambert's demeanour. 

Lambert didn't reply. He quirked a brow in question, allowing his head to fall entirely to the side, ear-to-shoulder.

"You've gone soft," Aiden observed, watching the worry lines fade from Lambert's brow. 

"Just thinking."

Aiden sighed, knowing his friend too well. He stood up with no effort, a rude display of mobility in the face of Lambert's persistently creaking joints like a poorly lubricated door hinge. He scampered around the perimeter of the flame with ease, hardly disturbing the ground as he skirted across it, only snapping a single rogue twig as he sat next to his companion. Aiden's upper arm and shoulder made contact with Lambert's body as he leaned over, head atop Lambert's where it rested. 

"I think sometimes you forget I am a Witcher, too," he murmured thoughtfully. 

"What makes you say that?" Lambert half-heartedly defended, notably not pushing Aiden away as the pair shared the needlessly intimate moment. 

Lambert's legs were straight out in front of him, arms locked out behind him to keep his body upright, whilst Aiden's knees were tucked to his chest, arms clasped loosely around them. Aiden merely hummed. "You think too loud," he said matter-of-factly. 

Lambert moved them so they were looking each other in the eyes, pausing thoughtfully--as if he needed to carefully consider what to say next. Aiden knew he didn't. "I don't think I do," Lambert replied. 

"You do!" He insisted. 

"Yeah?" Lambert breathed, making a grand effort not to look at Aiden's lips. "What am I thinking about then if you're so fuckin' smart?" 

Aiden chewed on his lip in contemplation, weighing the pros and cons of his quiet thought; his sharper-than-average teeth reflected the low lighting as he did so. 'Me,' he would have said. 

Thankfully, Aiden thought better of it. 

Lambert's eyes widened, pupils contracting slightly in surprise as he felt Aiden lean in closer so their lips barely brushed. Lambert's throat bobbed as he breathed through his open mouth, jaw relaxed, and back muscles strung taught. For seconds that felt like years, they sat in a stalemate as Aiden waited for Lambert to close the gap or pull away. 

"We shouldn't do this," Lambert whispered, still not backing away. 

Aiden could hear Lambert's heartbeat ringing in his ears, and he could sense his thoughts. "Is that what you want?" 

"No."

A few more moments passed in silence, neither man willing to be the first to move an inch before Lambert exhaled deeply and spoke. "Fuck it," he said, grabbing the back of Aiden's head with a firm hand and cupping the side of his neck and lower jaw with the other. He could feel Aiden's smile as he wrenched his eyes shut, refusing to let his awkward gaze ruin the moment as his heart pounded on the walls of his ribcage, trying to claw its way out. 

Lambert felt Aiden's lithe hands trail up the front of his shirt before closing around the lower part of its collar. Aiden recklessly kissed Lambert back with as much passion and adoration as he was met with. That is to say, a lot. Lambert was not one for half-assing anything he did; this was no exception. However, what did shock the Cat was that Lambert's near-aggression of the initial kiss died almost instantly. 

Lambert's shoulders shook as he breathed heavily, forehead lazily pressed against Aiden's, one hand still firmly on the back of his neck while the other migrated gently to the front of his chest. "That was such a bad idea," he exhaled with no trace of worry left in his voice. 

"And when did you suddenly become known for your logical, not-at-all emotionally driven decision-making skills?" Aiden teased. 

Lambert laughed warmly, "Do you think..." he trailed off. 

"...That you can kiss me again?"

He nodded minutely. 

"Yes," Aiden said, pressing his lips to the rough skin of Lambert's jaw, chest rumbling with contentment. "Yes, you can." 

Lambert, honest to gods,  smiled in return before leaning in for a second, softer kiss. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all. 

—Send me a number!—

[somerabbitholes]

hi c what are the most absolutely readable books you've read

recency bias notwithstanding, here you go —

Beartown trilogy by Fredrik Backman: easily one of the best things I've read; about an ice hockey town and how the sport is both toxic and redeeming for the town; he does people beautifully and I have cried multiple times on public transport while reading this

Figuring by Maria Popova: it looks at how creativity is a collective human project and how the best things/the truth about the world is almost always uncovered when people encounter other people and ideas. The book has galaxy brain energy and it made me feel all fuzzy and soft about the human project after reading it <3

Say Nothing by Patrick Radden Keefe: about the IRA and the Troubles in Northern Ireland and its bearing on politics now; how violence of this sort lives on in societies and cultures long after it has ended; how cultures deal with (or fail to) morally dubious histories. There's just so much to think about here!

Appliance by J. O. Morgan: a short dystopian novella about this machine that is basically teleporter. The book follows how its growth and occupation of the society is basically inevitable; makes really chilling and smart observations on authenticity and scientific progress along the way

The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen: follows the Lambert family at the end of the 1990s and through them, about everything up, socially and economically, with American culture then. Really well written and one of Franzen's best

The Room on the Roof by Ruskin Bond: a coming-of-age story he wrote when he was 17; somewhat autobiographical and captures his life between England and India as a child and teenager among friends and family

There but for the by Ali Smith: about the chaos that develops around a family and particularly a man when said man goes into one of the rooms at a dinner party and locks himself in it; he becomes a sort of lightning rod for a lot of politics and rhetoric, and the book shows this in really witty ways. There's great wordplay and endless puns and you'll have fun while reading it

Our Bodies, Their Battlefield by Christina Lamb: about what war does to women, and more specifically about how rape is and should be tried as a war crime; it's part journalism and in part an exploration of how we can make things better on this front. Very harrowing but very very good

I will also direct you here for some comfort books, and here for some more fiction i really like

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon - Worm Witcher Worm

Jaskier wrote Burn Butcher Burn after The Mountain Divorce, and spent the next two years singing it in every tavern and inn he came to. It became one of his most well-known songs.

Geralt spent his time wandering the Path alone, and heard people talk about a popular song, but he never paid much attention. After he made up with Jaskier and they started traveling together again, he eventually found out about the song.

It was awkward. Really awkward. They couldn't look each other in the eye, and conversation was painfully uncomfortable for days afterwards. They had a nice long talk one evening, only after Roach got tired of watching them wallow and took matters into her own hands...er, hooves.

She'd trod heavily on Geralt's foot while he was unsaddling her, then shoved him toward Jaskier with her head. Geralt had taken the hint and started the most awkward converstation in history.

Under Roach's watchful eye, threatening snorts, and laced back ears, words were exchanged, the figurative Olive Branch was extended, given an encouraging shake, and apologies were made along with promises to be better.

Fast forward months later. Jaskier and Geralt were back to being besties, and Jaskier was spending another winter with his surrogate family. Jaskier had gotten up late, had a late breakfast, and then drank some wine to get rid of his hangover.

He'd harrassed Lambert about his hair, lecturing him in the middle of the Great Hall before dragging him down to the hotsprings.

He'd gone wandering the corridors and empty rooms of the keep, playing out the stories in his head that would inspire songs and ballads.

He'd gone to have long, philosophical discussions with Roach, who was a very good listener, and agreed with him on everything.

Jaskier skipped down to lab to f**k with Yennefer, getting in the way, bantering, and generally being a nuissance.

"Will you get out of here? I'm trying to work, you irritating, insufferable, c*ckwomble!"

"Oh, please! You know you can't stand to be parted from me!"

"I will part you if you don't leave immediately!"

"Ooooh, it that a proposition?"

"Get out before I throw you in the garden, and plow you-!"

"That's anatomically impossible for you to do, but I'm always open to new experiences. I'm sure we could figure something out!."

"I'm going to turn you into a worm!"

Jaskier ran for it when Yennefer lunged at him, and ducked out the door, laughing. "You'd still love me even if I was a worm, right?"

Yennefer chased him out the door, throwing an empty bowl at him.

Jaskier retreated to his room, deciding it was best to stay out of Yennefer's way for a while. He worked on one of his new songs for a while, then went down to the kitchen to pinch a bottle of wine and some bread and cheese.

He took his time, enjoying his snack, and as the level of the wine in the bottle slowly dropped, he started thinking about what Yennefer had said about turning him into a worm. Would she really do it? Would it be permanent, or would it wear off?

Would the spell work on Witchers? Would they be normal worms, or would they be different? They were Witchers, after all. Would they keep their Witcher qualities? Would they be Witcher worms?

And that begs the question: would he be regular worm sized, or would he be, like, a giant worm? With a hat? Would he still be able to sing? Would he be just a giant worm with a fancy hat and a lute that went around singing songs?

Would he sing about people, or would he only sing about worms? Would he have to change his songs to be about worms instead? And how would he play his lute? Would he use his a**end, or would he have some sort of little arms? His brain, marinated in alcohol, started exploring the idea.

Several hours later, Jaskier found himself back in the Great Hall, sitting at the dinner table with his Wolf family. He listened to the stories from the Path, laughing along, and teasing the Wolves about one thing or another. They drank and sang, and played games, and made fun of Lambert.

Long after they should have been in bed, all of them to a man were sh*tfaced off their a**es.

It was too hard to play Gwent when the cards wouldn't hold still long enough to get proper look at the suits, and you couldn't remember how to play anyway.

Telling stories of the Path had lost it's appeal after the stories only got more confusing because no one could remember which story they were telling and in what order the events happened.

Fighting was out of the question when the floor kept tilting and rolling under your feet and the b**tard you were trying to fight kept changing places everytime you blinked.

All the while, Jaskier's slowly pickling brain kept circling back to his earlier thoughts about worms. The thoughts wriggled in and squiggled around, burrowing deeper into his thoughts, brining new thoughts and questions, new things to wonder about.

Eskel tossed back the last dregs of his White Gull and plonked his tankard down, called cheerfully "Jask, sing us a song!"

"A song, bard!" the other Witchers called out in agreement, then started chanting, "Sing! Sing! Sing!"

Jaskier, brain embalmed at this point, heard the crowd calling him, and could not resist. The next thing he knew he was standing on top of the table, thoughts still falling down the rabbit hole of worms. He cradled his lute, and, with his last functioning brain cell only able to remember something about worms, started singing.

The song was familiar, especially to Geralt, but he was confused. They lyrics were different. He didn't remember the song being about worms. Still, it was catchy. It was one of those songs that stuck in your brian and kept you awake all night, playing over and over.

There was something about it that just made you want to get up and move. No, it was like some sort of magic spell: It compelled you to get up and...

Jaskier's voice rose and boomed through the Hall as he hit the chorus, "WORM, WITCHER, WoOoOrRRRMMMM!"

Jaskier could not explain the phenonemon that resulted in the weirdest form of locomotion that he had ever seen. Witchers all thourghout the Hall were throwing themselves to the floor and undulating across it like sine waves.

Jaskier marvled at the magical sight, belting out the next verses and following up with the chorus.

Yennefer and Vesemir, hearing the noise came into the Great Hall to see what f**kery was afoot and were greeted by the oddest sight.

Jaskier *Standing on the table*: "WaTcH ThAt WiTCheR WoOoRRRMMM!

Geralt and his brothers: *frantically doing The Worm*

Yennefer stood there watching out of horrified fascination, speechless as Geralt 'wormed' as if his life depended on it. If he wormed any faster, she feared he would go airborne. Jaskier hit the chorus line again, belting out "WoRm, WiTcHeR WoRM, WoRM, wOrM, WoRm..."

Vesemir dipped out without a word. He was going to bed. He was just too old for this sh*t.

Yennefer watched for a few moments as her two idiots went on with their nonsense. She wondered what was going on inside their heads, then decided she didn't want to know. She marveled at how easily she had let these two imbeciles into her life. She sighed. Love was so complicated.

Yennefer left moments later, not wanting to bear witness to what ever disaster was going to happen if one of them Wormed too close to the fire pit, or over the piles of empty bottles of White Gull.

The next morning, the Witchers woke up with massive hangovers, wondering why they felt as if they'd been bludgeoned by rock trolls. They could remember nothing of the previous night's activities, but for some mysterious reason, they all had had odd dreams about worms.

[fa-by]

Laucy 2.O

Hiiii babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗. I'm back with a new post. And I know, I know, I apologize again for my disappearance but I haven't been well for 3 months and also have been in the hospital again for a week 😭. I don't want to bore you with my health, but I just ask you to be patient again for future posts 😅🙏🏼.

I was answering the asks in my mail when I realized that 2 of them in particular were asking the same thing. I started writing and the more I did, the more I realized how long it was getting and I therefore decided to split it off from the Q&A post I started and which you guys will have, and make it a separate one on today's topic which you can see from the title.

Without further ado, let's go straight to the answers of those 2 asks. Enjoy 🙃.

HIII to you too, my dear 👋🏼😄. You're the purple heart Anon 🙃. That's how I always mentioned you to my gf, and the fact that you always remembered to say hi to me because you know it's important to me, always distinguished you from others especially because you do it in caps every time and you always make me smile/laugh because I know it's a dig for all those Anons who don't 🤣. Of course I remember you, as you can see 🤗!

1) I'm getting better. Very slowly, but I'm getting better. I still have a lot of medical checks to do but then I hope to finish once and for all because I'm honestly tired of hospital, doctors, and being sick in general 😩. Thank you for your concern and I really hope you're well and healthy 🥰.

2) Of course I can expose them 😉. This post is dedicated to that 😜.

And yeah, I hope they don't steal again because for real then I'd stop doing big analysis like I did in the past for Laucy, for the AMA's 2018, etc. I just want people to respect my decision to not want my stuff off Tumblr and ask me first if they really wanna post anything of mine outside of here, so that we can arrange what’s good for me for them to post and what’s not. That's all.

P.S. you made me laugh with the caps part which I guess was shouted 🤣🤣.

3) Thank you for always being so kind to me, my dear 💜 Anon. I really mean it 🤗. Have a beautiful day too 🙃. My gf says hi too 😄. I love you too and take care 😘.

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. Greetings from my gf too 🙃.

It is a pain, and not because you asked, but because of the PR. And not even for the PR per se, but just because it's always the same shit we've seen (and will continue to see) over and over again but with different people. But anyway, let's get into it.

Oh and, small disclaimer. Sasha's pronouns are ze/her/they and I used she/her when I wrote this. I'm explaining this to you guys just to clarify that I didn't misgender her, okay? Good 😇.

Let's start with the new and improved version of Laucy. Welcome to Laucy 2.O, my dear Anon and my dear 💜 Anon, and any other of you babies who are reading.

Sasha Mallory, born on August 6, 1988 (age 35), professional dancer, and runner-up on season 8 of So You Think You Can Dance in 2011 when she was 23. She's worked in many dance companies, music videos, tours of singers such as Madonna, Adam Lambert, and Katy Perry, and done much more. Along with her family, she owns and operates the Mallory Academy of Dance (in Bakersfield California) in which she obviously also teaches.

In my opinion, chosen precisely because of her sexuality (as Laur herself said when talking about the Valentine's Day post in the People article: “Queer representation is important”) and her profession because, unlike Laur's other queer friends who were already her friends anyway and someone new was needed in her life, Sasha's in the industry and travels a lot precisely for the same reason. She ‘understands’ that life. And she certainly benefits from the money made from the contract and, more importantly, the visibility in the industry for her work.

Having explained the basics, let's get down to the facts and the not-so-subtle stages:

The beginning

-  Prelude. For those who don't know, Prelude premiered with a special global livestream via Moment House on October 14 and 15, 2021, but was officially released on November 5, 2021. It took them 6 days to make/film it. On September 11, 2021, Laur received the videos that she included by turning them almost into a documentary (with the help of Matthew Siskin of course, the co-director and co-editor along with Lo), and they started promoting the project on September 14, 2021. Before all this, however, there were the organization and the rehearsals to bring the project to life.

Lauren and Sasha met in mid-August 2021 (roughly the 13th) thanks to Coral Dolphin, the choreographer who took care of Prelude (and the tour).

To confirm the timeline, these are Laur's very first likes on their profiles (Coral Dolphin, José Gabriel Baez, Sasha, and Triana Steward), except for Aahkilah Cornelius, who didn't even have IG at the time, and Jesse Johnson who didn't post anything in general (not even anything personal) from the time they met (not even Prelude) until 2022 (personal stuff).

- From November 20 to December 1, 2021, Tour: An Evening with Lauren Jauregui. With Laur, Coral direction and choreography, and Sasha and José dancers.

The hang out no longer just professional

- First speculations created on March 12, 2022, after the insta-stories and that post (posted two days later) with the alpacas, with contribution of the tweet to pretend to mislead, but actually start inserting the seed 🧫 into people's heads 🧠:

A couple of appearances together with other friends: 1) at Banks' concert on Apr 6, 2022, along with *cough* coincidentally and not to publicize two things at the same time *cough*  the announcement of Laur's participation in The Serpentina Tour, 2) at Coachella on Apr 17, 2022, *cough* she didn't go there with Lo and her friends, she was there only because she had to perform/dance with Channel Tres with whom she was booked from Mar 18, 2022, to Dec 31, 2022 *cough*.

- Sasha danced with her and José again (for the last time so far) at the Al Sol Blume Festival on April 30, 2022 (the 3 of them rehearsed from the 27th to the 29th).

Another appearance together on a boat with all of Laur's friends on May 14, 2022.

- Rumors reinforced by the trip to Cuba for Laur's birthday in which I'll underline, there were other people, friends, with them and her brother. *let's water the seed 💧*

We're just friends, people, isn't it obvious? *Please don't let it be obvious*

+ denial/fake protection

- Sasha went on the New York (July 27, 2022) and Denver (Aug 2, 2022) tour dates before continuing with her gig for the Channel Tres tour, and on Aug 1st, Laur posted that tweet just to add fuel to the fire. *let's keep watering 💧*

Lo wished her a happy birthday with a post on Aug 6, 2022.

- On November 29, 2022, Sasha posted a TikTok with the “Reasons Why I'm SINGLE” filter and on December 3, 2022, she replied to someone by saying that she and Lauren were just friends. Both then deleted. Did you have any doubts about it? 😑

In the meantime tho, other appearances together: on Sept 17, 2022, (Aliyah Niambi's insta-story) to celebrate an Aja Monet working achievement, on Oct 30, 2022, for Halloween, on Oct 31, 2022, for the Paramore concert, and on Dec 8, 2022, for Channel Tres tour date in L.A. where Ty was too. *👏🏼🙌🏼 a reunion with 2 PRs, yeeeey 🥳🤣🤣🤣*

“She like who she like”/The confirmation

- Snow Tha Product EVERYNIGHTNIGHTS PODCAST live streamed on January 12, 2023, in which Laur publicly said for the first time that she was into a woman, specifying “a femme, a non-binary” and choking and freaking out more and more in explaining because she didn't know whether she was defining her the correct way or not. Sasha changed her bio to the one she still has now immediately after: * we're almost there 💧*

- On January 18, 2023, there was the video on Lauren's Patreon Zoom as they played Uno to confirm even more who she was talking to Snow about, plus the fans' backlash and Laur's obvious reaction to 100% confirm: *has germinated 🌱*

- The UnitedMasters GRAMMY party (Feb 3, 2023) before the final push, let's call it the oh-so-unpredictable boom of the definitive confirmation of the Valentine's Day post (Feb 14, 2023).

The explanation

- In the Zach Sang Show interview released on March 31, 2023, she said that they'd been together for a year, that there had been attraction from the first moment they danced Don't Wanna Say, and that however, neither of them told the other anything for a while; Sasha because Lauren was her boss and she wanted to be respectful and Laur because she didn’t think it was mutual. She explained that she was the one who made the first move by inviting her over to her house to hang out. They cooked together and only after Sasha left very early, Lo confessed everything to her via text to which Sasha replied that she felt the same way. Laur specified that it happened the night before she left to go back to Miami because she still lived there and still had 3 months of lease for the house.

End of the important stuff (for now)

Now let's talk logic, dates, and bullshit.

Let's break down piece by piece the already checked and verified facts I've listed to you, with what she said on the Zach Sang Show, and let's see what's true and what's not.

1) Taking into consideration the date I believe to be correct, Lauren and Sasha met on August 13, 2021. Attraction from the first moment they danced Don’t Wanna Say: “The chemistry was just crazy. I was like, what the fuck is this? I feel so attracted to you”.

In addition to the promo for Prelude, there was no interaction or public appearance together until the tour.

2) They went on tour from November 20 until December 1, 2021. “And then it was like super low-key. We both had like a crush on each other but didn't say anything about it for a minute”, Sasha because Lauren was her boss and she wanted to be respectful, and Laur because she didn't think it was mutual.

After the tour, again no public appearances together until March 12, 2022 (alpacas). This, this one right here, is the timespan that interests us the most.

3) The first move and the confession: “I invited her to come over to hang out with me and we made dinner together and stuff. And it was a date in my head, but she didn't know it was a date. She thought we were hanging out just casually” - small pause to look at Chantal (her manager Chantal Felice) as she did other times during bullshit - “So she ended up leaving hella early” blah, blah, blah, blah, blah “I sent her this like, really long cute ass message and she was like: what?”

4) The explanation of when it happened: “Actually, that happened right before I left back to Miami. So we were here in L.A. and it was right before I left back to Miami because I was living in Miami at the time. So I had like 3 months still of my lease in Miami. So it was like the day before I left, was when I texted her and was like ‘this is how I feel’. And she was like ‘what the fuck? I feel the same way’ and I was like ‘what?’. So yeah, we had like 3 months in between. - Now we see each other when we can”.

Okay, that day? That dinner ‘they had’ the night before going back to Miami? It never happened. And those 3 months that she wanted to make believe were in Miami? They're not correct.

No surprise there since we know it's all made-up narrative for the PR, but do you wanna know how I know? I know because unfortunately for both Camren, fans save every little thing posted on the internet that concerns them and their lives. I checked. Laur's last night in L.A. was December 18, 2021, and who did she spend it with? WITH CORAL! They had dinner IN A RESTAURANT before going to The Peppermint Club (West Hollywood). The next day (the 19th), Lo was in Miami and returned to Los Angeles on February 5, 2022.

Here you can see the screenshots I took of Laur's insta-stories. One from her last day in Miami on February 4, 2022, with Mateo, the son of her friend Alexa Ferrer, and another one from when she returned to Los Angeles on February 5, 2022, which can be compared with the post Lo published on February 25, 2022, in which she was with her friend Britt (Brittany Martinez-Hewitt):

Here, however, Coral's insta-story (Dec 18) and the screenshot I took from one of Laur's insta-stories (Dec 19), specifically from the one where she was playing with Cleo:

You can also compare Coral's insta-story with the post Laur published on December 21, 2021. From slides 6, 7, and 10, you can very well see both how Lo's outfit matches and how it was the same night.

You can also see from Coral's insta-story how it was night outside. It's clearly visible from the glass window behind Laur. And now tell me, is there anything about this picture that makes you think it was Lauren's house or otherwise a house in general? And does it look like Sasha was there? Maybe hidden under the small table that was clearly only for two people and that makes you understand that no one else was with them? 🤣🤣🤣 Sasha wasn't even there that night! They didn't see each other at all! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤣🤣🤣 So what dinner had and cooked at your house the night before you went to Miami are we talking about, Laur? What in the PR and the alternative universe are you talking about? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

Debunked the dinner, let's move on to the 3 months.

The timespan between December 18, 2021 (last day in L.A.) and February 5, 2022 (return to L.A.) is 1 month and 18 days to be exact. I'm gonna abound by saying they were almost 2 months if I have to, but it's certainly not 3. They don't match the idea that by “I was living in Miami at the time. So I had like 3 months still of my lease in Miami - So yeah, we had like 3 months in between”, she meant to imply that they didn't see each other because she stayed in Miami for 3 months. Yeah, she still had 3 months of lease for the house, but that doesn't mean she stayed there for real as I've shown you. And it can't even be that she was talking about another time period because she's never stayed in Miami for 3 months since she met Sasha in August of 2021.

On the other hand, the timespan between December 18, 2021 (last day in L.A.) and March 12, 2022 (alpacas) is 2 months and 22 days. I can again abound by saying that they were almost 3 months, but only to let Lo get away with it. This does match the “we had like 3 months in between”, but it also proves another lie at the same time.

Remember how I also wrote in the initial list that Sasha was booked to perform with Channel Tres from March 18, 2022, to December 31, 2022? Well, she hadn't left yet for the first date, which was Lollapalooza in Chile (March 18, 2022). So, if Laur was back in town on February 5, 2022, what exactly was the reason they didn't see each other for precisely 1 month and seven days (February 5 to March 12) before that PUBLIC hang-out with Lauren's friends (alpacas)?

If December 18, 2021 (last day in L.A.) and March 12, 2022 (alpacas) match the almost 3 months said on the Zach Sang Show, what exactly was the reason for not seeing each other before the 12th (alpacas)? After not seeing each other since that oh-so-real dinner before Laur returned to Miami, and especially after they confessed to liking each other via texts, do they really want me to believe they waited another month since Lauren was back in town to see each other? And in the company of other people on top of that? Come on now 🤣🤣🤣. After all that waiting, they would've seen each other the moment Laur set foot back in town if it had been a real relationship.

Debunked even the 3 months, let's move on to the part of the interview in which she said they'd been together for a year.

As I said before, the Zach Sang Show interview was released on March 31, 2023. It was filmed definitely a few days prior or in any case in the same month since it was primarily done for the promo of Trust Issues (which was released on the same day as the interview) and In Between. From that, since to Zach's question “How long have you been together?” she answered “We've been together for like a year” and it was March 2023, we can establish that by March 2022 they were already together officially as a couple. Or rather, already since before February 2022 given what Laur said about the Valentine's Day post in the interview with People (May 26, 2023): “We'd been together for a year by that point”.

Neither of them has yet specified what the official date is, but still based on the date of Lo's last day in L.A. because of the so-real ‘dinner and text’ story, we can assume that December 18, 2021, is the specific date on which they officially got together. Unless we'll have anniversary posts in the future.

So, if they've already been together since December 18, 2021, then why instigate/tease Snow during her podcast about the fact that she missed the opportunity to kiss her in the Piña video? Why push her so hard and on several occasions for other things as well?

***I'd like to clarify anyway that I've taken Mila completely out of the equation also because this acting as single people of theirs is something that has been going on for them basically since the X-Factor days (they did, they do, and they have to keep doing it for appearances, or simply when they're mad at each other 😅). All this is just me proving and exposing Laucy 2.O. Okay, let's move on.***

And speaking of Piña, on September 19, 2022, Lauren and Snow did the TikTok live to promote the song by also saying that they would've made the video as soon as they were both in town (L.A.). Which happened in October. On October 5, 2022, @jakehenrythgc posted a picture together with Lo on the set of the video (in the La Cita Bar: bar/live music venue/nightclub in Downtown L.A.). Laur posted an insta-story while watching the full video for the first time on October 26, 2022, and on December 19, 2022, the video was released.

So if the video was shot on October 5 when Snow missed the opportunity to kiss her, shouldn't that date be calculated in that year with Sasha? Was it crossed off in the calendar and no one told me? If Laur had actually been in a relationship for a year, she wouldn't have insisted so much on the missed opportunity to be kissed by another person even if only professionally. Although we could see in that very podcast how important 'professionally' is to Lauren. So important, she didn't even remember doing it with a guy in the Always Love video 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣.

But back to being serious. If she'd actually been in a relationship for a year, she never would've pressed and pushed Snow's buttons in that way on different things. But no, she instigated/teased her a lot of times by even saying other things outside of Snow specifically, like the fact that she likes to provoke in general even straight girls: “I love making straight girls question who they are” – “I'm just trying to see if you're really as straight as you think you are”.

And with those 2 sentences, I want to remind you all of something she said in Becky G's podcast (the very first reason why I'm here and you guys know me https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648191757219250176/there-is-a-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel) and how these 2 sentences are yet another proof of how much bullshit she had to say that day to hide her truth:

Wasn't she the one who had an ‘issue flirting with girls’ and who felt ‘disgustingly uncomfortable’ because she felt ‘like a predator’, ‘the aggressor’, ‘the one who was like the masculine energy in the scenario’, because she was ‘always the one turning her’? Wasn't she the one who didn't want to be able to ‘potentially put off that kind of vibe onto someone or invade or like anything like that’? So, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? And even with straight girls no less 🤦🏻‍♀️. Please, Lauren, explain yourself? Explain to the audience 🤣. Justify the bullshit you had to say about Camila by succeeding in making a lot of CS leave. Justify the bullshit you had to say in comparison with the truth and reality you said NOW.

All the chickens come home to roost, my friends. Always 🙌🏼. It doesn't matter if years go by, but the truth always comes out 🔥.

Anyway, back to Laucy 2.O. If Lauren had actually been in a relationship for a year, she wouldn't have behaved that way with another person. She wouldn't have done any of that. She wouldn't have behaved the way an available person would. This even proves by itself that the relationship is fake. The fact that she did it during a live podcast and didn't give a damn about all the fans present, proves it even more. Tsk-tsk. In a relationship for a year, HA! Don't make me laugh 😏.

Not to mention the fact that Sasha was (and maybe still is) with Baylie Olsen. Now the engagement you mentioned in the ask, there's no trace of anything like that at all as far as I know, dear Anon. It'll be part of the various bullshit that CS and other ‘fans’ made up 🤷🏻‍♀️ as usual 🙄. What I do know and can prove is the fact that Sasha and Baylie met in early May 2019 during rehearsals for the Eurovision performance which then took place on May 18, 2019, with Madonna.

They were both backup dancers throughout Madonna's Madame X era including the Madame X Tour which lasted from September 12, 2019, to March 4, 2020. And as you can see here:

They started dating loooong before August 2021, which is when Lauren and Sasha met, and that they continued to do so at least publicly until April 2022, which is even after the hang-out with the alpacas (March 14, 2022).

And these are not even all the pictures they commented on and liked on each other 🤣. There are many more that you can very well go see for yourselves on both of their profiles. So “My first Valentine” my ass, Sasha 🤣. Oh and by the way, Laur was obviously aware and supportive of their relationship:

Going back to talking about the Valentine's Day post instead: “I kinda did it very whimsically. I didn't even tell her I was gonna post it” (Zach Sang Show) – “On Valentine's Day, I did it very impulsively. I didn't even talk with them about it first” (People). Oh yeah sure, because it's totally normal to not talk to your partner about something as unimportant as making it official to the world BEFORE actually doing it, right?

Miss I prefer to live my life off of social media and keep my private life private, Miss confidentiality, Miss privacy in all respects suddenly didn't care. Miss I keep having to pretend that I was outed in 2016 and not that it was all arranged, suddenly just didn't care about doing something like that? Seriously? Suuuure. Sure, sure, sure, Jan, right. No, for real, who believes that? Who can believe that that behavior could have been normal and not something planned/arranged?

Even this alone, does nothing but prove 2 things (again, back to my very first post and Becky G's podcast and all that fake situation they created that I talked about on several occasions): 1) It reconfirms for the umpteenth time the story of the fake coming out arm-in-arm with the PR with Lucrezia um sorry, Lucy. 2) This PR with Sasha.

Why? Because someone who claims to have been haunted by being outed when she wasn't ready, DOESN'T BEHAVE THAT WAY! Someone who claims to have been traumatized by that whole experience, someone who's not an ordinary person but a public figure and therefore double haunt and trauma, DOESN'T DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT! Tell me who, after all that, wouldn't talk to their girlfriend before officially posting something romantic-wise for the first time? Who wouldn't make sure she was okay with it first? Especially since, again, we're not talking about an ordinary person. We're talking about someone famous with 12 million followers on IG.

A person who's actually gone through that kind of trauma, would never dare to do that. It wouldn't even cross their mind because they'd have respect for the person they're with. They’d also take their partner's feelings into consideration. They’d make sure that it would be okay for them even if their partner's out and proud, because they would never want to make someone else experience the trauma they themselves experienced firsthand. And honestly, tell me, does this seem to be the case for Lauren?

What I'm seeing now, from the podcast with KITTENS actually, is that they're using the strategy of showing Lauren's change. Showing more and more how she's healed and how she's more comfortable and open with her sexuality. I'm very happy about it, don't get me wrong. It's about time she could show what she in reality is since she was 17/18 years old. And I'm not even saying it's not true that for years she'd struggled with her internalized homophobia and all the other problems. Hell, we know fully well that's true. And I also understand that she had to suppress herself and follow the narratives mostly to hide Camren, let alone if I don't understand that. I'm just saying that, what I don't like is the way they made her act. Just as it doesn't sit well with me the usual incoherent love propaganda that they've already used in the past. I'll explain myself better.

Oh and, speaking of incoherent love propaganda used before. Is it only me who noticed that since that Valentine's Day post, Lauren's started talking about Sasha in interviews in the exact same way she used to talk about Ty when she was in a PR relationship with him? I mean, no differences? No imagination for something new? No? Just copy and paste? Um, okay… I- um 🤔🤨 I'll shut up 🤐.

Back to this incoherent love propaganda.

If “We're so solid, and we have such a beautiful foundation and so much trust and love between us” (People), and if “the core-” of their relationship “-is love and respect” as she said in Shannon Boodram's podcast along with other things, then where was this trust and respect when she thought (?):

Zach Sang Show: “Damn is Valentine’s Day. I’m seeing all these people post their babes, I was like, this is my baby. Like I’m in love and I don’t care. I don’t care!” --- “But like I said, Valentine’s Day came, I saw all these cute pictures and I was like, you know what? Me and baby are cute. So I’m gonna post it”.

People: “I'm in love. We'd been together for a year by that point, and I was like, ‘You know what? Fuck it’.” --- “On Valentine's Day, I did it very impulsively. I didn't even talk with them about it first. I was just seeing people post their significant others, and I was just like, ‘Dude, I'm in love. These pictures are so cute. We're so cute. People deserve to see this shit’. Queer representation is important, I think”.

So 🤔 what I grasped from both interviews is that, she did it because she didn't care and because people deserved to see that shit because queer representation is important (although I agree with that last part), but at the same time (?):

Zach Sang Show: “The layer of fame is like a whole thing. But it’s so beyond that. I think the reason I keep my private life private for the most part, is because people are so invasive and projective”. --- “Especially people who say they’re fans”. --- “There’s those other people who just are so attached to you that they feel they have ownership over you and then they just like, trash someone you love and just try to make their lives miserable or make up things about them”. --- “That part is so weird to me, so I try to keep what makes me happy away from people who want to project unhappiness onto it”.

Oh yeah, we all saw that 🤦🏻‍♀️.

I mean, I'm being sarcastic here because she was talking about Sasha's situation, which is not true. But it is the truth in reality. It's the truth that applies in her life and above all with whom? *whispered echo: 🗣️ Cameeeela*

People: “Most of my relationships, I keep under wraps, just because it's really odd to have so many strangers have an opinion about who you're choosing to love or what goes on between the two of you. But I just want to be able to love them out loud and be able to share that with people”. --- “So, people's opinions don't really don't matter. Honestly, for me, it's more so about protecting them and making sure that they don't feel attacked because fans are fans”.

Protect them/her? PROTECT HER? 🤣🤣🤣 How? By exposing her and you guys ‘relationship’ to the world without even telling her? Ahh, okay 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Exposing her for sure keeps people from attacking her precisely because she's your girlfriend, sure, undoubtedly 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣. Mh-hmm, yeah, this way of thinking would've made sooo much sense if the relationship was true 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣.

“There's other fans who call themselves fans that I don't really consider fans. People who feel very possessive over you and feel like they have a right to tell you who you should or should not be with, which is really fascinating to me because you're literally a stranger who's never met me in real life. So it's really interesting that you think about who I should or shouldn't be with. And people have prejudices. Racism is a very real thing, and I don't like when she gets attacked or people send her really crazy-ass messages or send weird messages to her family. I really wanted to avoid that, but it was kind of happening anyways because people assumed we were in a relationship. So I was just like, ‘I guess it doesn't really fully matter at this point’. We just have to ignore those kinds of people as much as we can, because sometimes they're really violent and need to be handled. But for the most part, it's really just harmless, online shit”.

Putting aside the part where I super agree that people need to stop harassing them (Camren) and the people in their lives, let's talk about “I really wanted to avoid that, but it was kind of happening anyways because people assumed we were in a relationship” and “I guess it doesn't really fully matter at this point”.

She really wanted to avoid that, but she did it anyway, because she guessed it didn't really fully matter at that point because people assumed they were in a relationship?? Really??? What kind of protection would this be????

So, wait, wait, wait. From the top.

She wanted to avoid letting people know because she wanted to protect her and make sure she and her family weren't attacked, then Valentine's Day came along and she thought fuck it. Fuck her own privacy, fuck the protection of Sasha and her family, and fuck their trust and respect because, given that she saw people posting their significant other, she whimsically and impulsively decided to do the same. She revealed their relationship to the whole world without TELLING HER ANYTHING FIRST because she didn't care, because people deserved to see that shit because queer representation is important, and because she guessed it didn't really fully matter at that point because people already assumed they were in a relationship.

I mean… WHAT?????

What in the world? What in the inconsistency? What kind of contradiction is all this? No really. Was all of that more important than her own girlfriend? Seriously?? No, I'm sorry. This is yet another proof of how fake and organized all this is.

From a logical point of view, it's impossible for me to think that Lauren just didn't care. It's impossible to think that she did it by putting all of that above her girlfriend's respect and trust. It's impossible to think they didn't talk about it before posting. It's impossible period.

This is Lauren we’re talking about here! Empathetic, caring, selfless, sensitive, and with a great emotional connection Lauren! The real Lauren would never do something like this. She would never put her own needs before those of someone she cares about. To quote Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: ‘End of story. Goodbye. The end.’ Sorry but I had to 😅🤣. The conversation required a final quote 🙃.

But anyway. The bottom line of this charade: supposedly met on August 13, 2021, months without saying they had crushes on each other, non-existent dinner the night before going to Miami after which Laur texted her that she liked her and Sasha reciprocated, and therefore they got together supposedly the same night on December 18, 2021. Throughout all this, Sasha and Baylie were still together even still publicly, and Laur continued to act ‘single’ until Valentine's Day of the following year (2023).

Make it make sense! Make it make sense, seriously! But no hey, we know that a PR relationship MUST create doubts in people's heads and MUST NOT look perfect at all otherwise people would get bored and not speculate about it. Right, my bad I almost forgot 🤦🏻‍♀️.

So, this is the timeline, dear Anon. As for your question “Why would Lauren get into a relationship with someone else who is in a relationship?”, in my opinion, the better question would be ‘why did Sasha agree to do this since she was/maybe still is in a relationship?’. She was/is the one in a normal public relationship contrary to Laur who has a hidden one.

For Lauren it's business and it's convenient for many things. It's a cover for Camren and the songs, and it helps her queer image. Again “Queer representation is important”. But Sasha? Who knows. As I also said at the beginning, she benefits from both the money made from the contract and, more importantly, the visibility in the industry for her work. For the rest, I don't know how it went.

Lauren was looking for a girl for PR. Maybe Lauren was talking about it in general as friends do, and Sasha volunteered. Maybe Sasha talked about it with Baylie who, being an artist and a dancer as well and who therefore understands that lifestyle, agreed with it. Or maybe it was Lo's old management's idea after seeing them dance at the August rehearsal since we know very well how gays think, and they anticipated the reaction that inevitably happened later with the Prelude live. Or maybe it was Lauren's own idea since she has more freedom in her choices and she proposed it to her. I don't know. I don't know this. There's no proof around yet. I can only speculate.

Fact is that I don't see Lauren in a bad light here. It's not the first time she's been portrayed as a homewrecker and a traitor. They tried it before with the Lauren, Lucy, Ty, and Alycia Bella (ex of Ty) square story, and they tried again now with Sasha and Baylie. I didn't fall for it then and I don't fall for it now. You know why? Because it's all fake. I said it before and I also explained it in my PR stunt relationships - ɟ post: a PR relationship MUST create doubts in people's heads and MUST NOT look perfect at all otherwise people would get bored and not speculate about it.

So, dear Anon, the best thing to do in these cases is not to ask yourself questions like “Why would Lauren get into a relationship with someone else who is in a relationship?” since it's all fake and organized to entertain an audience, but it's to not ask yourself these kinds of questions at all precisely because it's all fake and organized to entertain an audience. But if you really have to, ask yourself questions that go arm-in-arm with reality and not Hollywood fiction 😉.

I hope I helped you understand as you hoped ��.

‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 👅. I hope you're both happy with this analysis 🤗.

Thanks to all the others for the other asks which, as I said at the beginning of the post, you'll get answered in the usual Q&A post I started 🙃. As usual, I'm always available for those who have questions, so ask away 😄.

Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️.

[haterishated]

hello there, I read one of your fanfics talking about the follower bishops being interested in the reader and an idea sprang into my head, I was wondering if you'd be able to make a story where 2 or more of the bishops are arguing about doing something with a gn!reader and it escalates to the point where they're about to fight but due to being in the lamb's cult the lamb comes are shuts them all up before promptly taking the reader away to do said thing, leaving the bishops flabbergasted

♡ << “Hey! That was OUR idea!” >> ♡

Pairings are possibly Lambert/reader? Could be seen as platonic or romantic.

I’m feeling so much better today, so I went on ahead and wrote another thing! I like how this one turned out!

Enjoy! 💕

It was another day in the cult of the mighty lamb.

The wind was flowing nicely, the sky was clear, and the warm sun combated the cool breeze. Everything was nice and perfect that day. You had begun to finally be appreciative and realizing how gorgeous life was here. One thing, however, that you were definitely not appreciative of was,

The aggressive toad and the whiny worm.

The two had been constantly pestering you all day, oblivious to your continuous pleas for them to get along for once! It was getting on your nerves. You wondered if they'd ever leave so that you could have a breath of fresh air just for today! You seriously had the contain the urge to scream at them.

Heket and Leshy were a massive pain to deal with, especially since they had extreme rivalries and conflicting personalities. Never did they agree on something and never did they leave your side.

Some of the members in the cult thought of it as adorable but you certainly did not. Who could deal with the amount of noise they make per day? You didn't understand why it was only annoying you. Why couldn't the others see it your way?

The only thing keeping you sane right now was Lambert, the very leader of the damned place.

Just thinking about the two and all the trouble and anger they've caused you is enough to ruin the atmosphere of the beautiful day. You seriously couldn't get the thoughts out of your head, why were they like that? Why didn't they notice what they've done?

You let out an exhausted groan, lifting your rear off the bench and walking away with slumped shoulders, tired and totally drained out from all the thinking. Maybe a small nature walk is what you needed?

-

Just as your took a few steps away from the bench and onwards, you heard angry chattering and feet stomping from somewhere behind you. Panting and tired breathes were heard. You turned around to see two faces you absolutely did not want talking to you at this very moment.

The bushy worm was the first to speak. "I won, I get to ask them first!"

The red toad gasped and roared in anger. "I would never lose to such a bet!" Her face turned into a smug smirk. "In fact, I was just about to ask them!"

"What?!" The worm let out a rumbled hiss, his head twitching and his tail shaking in fury. "Despicable! I'm sure they'd want me to ask them instead of you!"

Your face was unmoving and annoyed, and you were just about to turn away without saying a word. You didn't want to participate in today's wrestling match, no thank you! And you surely didn't want to fuel another fire!

Leshy elbowed Heket with his shoulder blade, pushing her away as he made a 'ahem' noise and opened his mouth. Heket tossed her self at him, punching Leshy where his nose would be, blood leaking out slightly and the two got into a battle ready stance.

Your eyes widened and you turned back around and begged for them to stop, but your words went onto deaf ears, the sound of hissing and yelling in the air.

A loud shove was heard and a red fleeced lamb revealed themselves, the two being cast aside from each other. They flared down at the two and Heket glared back, Leshy had an unreadable expression, but judging from his frown, he felt guilt.

"What in the name of the old gods are you two doing?!" Lambert put their hands on their hips in a sassy manner. "You two could've gotten really hurt you know, and just look at poor (Name)!"

The toad turned her gaze to meet yours and the worm looked down at his feet, ashamed of his actions.

Heket suddenly looked mortified at what she had done.

"See? Now apologize!" Lambert ordered.

They both walked up to you and hung their heads low. "We're sorry, (Name)."

You couldn't help but angrily sigh and glare down at them in anger, they had made such a big deal out of such an unnecessarily stupid situation and ruined your day. "It's fine."

Lambert had told his most devoted follower to take Leshy over to the healing bay to tend to his 'nose' wound and Heket was sent to her tent to think about her actions.

Today was just splendid.

-

The next day, you were determined to go on said walk you wanted to go on yesterday before two annoying flies had rudely interrupted you.

The two were out and about, not bothering you at all today, which was a huge relief and a big surprise. Walking out your tent, you were met with two big eyes and fluffy wool, Lambert! They gave you a gentle smile and a soft wave of their hoof. "Hello, (Name). How'd you sleep?"

"Quite fine." You nodded and bowed your head in respect to the leader. "Thank you for saving me back there, I really appreciate it."

At the corner of your eye, you could see two familiar figures making their way toward you. "Ah, It's not a problem! You can always count on me if you have any issues!" They clapped their hands together and a wide grin appeared on their face. They were adorable.

"I was thinking to ask you on a walk around Darkwood, I've noticed you've been having a rough week and I want to make sure you have the best experience possible here at my cult!" They said, playing with the wool on the side of their head and looking up at you with affectionate, round, eyes.

You laughed. "That's funny, considering the fact that I was just about to go on a walk myself!"

"Then allow me to join you, gorgeous." They winked shooting you finger guns, you only laughed harder, nodding your head in agreement. "Deal, but only if you invite me to do it again tomorrow!"

Lambert smile only got bigger. "Right, of course."

"Then let's head off, the day cannot last forever, (Name)." Lambert took your hand into theirs.

You and Lambert set off for a walk.

-

Heket and Leshy stood there in shock and what they had saw, they were both going to invite you over to take a walk with them yesterday, and now when they finally have a chance, the cult leader swoops in and takes their beloved? How can this be?

They collected themselves and walked away with a scowl on their faces, better luck next time.

[thewitcheress2389]

Hello! Is it possible for you to write something for Eskel using number 10 and 25? Eskel deserves much love 🥺❤️ Thanks! 💖💖 And, uh, if I wrote something incorrect, sorry for that 😅 My native language isn't English.

I love your works!

You're good! And you are right, Eskel deserves so much love💖💖

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The Beauty of The Broken

Eskel has always been insecure, but he doesn’t know all the time you take to admire him.

#10 “You should smile more often.”

#25 “Is it that hard to believe that I love you?”

Scarred.

Broken beyond repair.

A terrifying monster.

Unworthy of love.

That’s what Eskel sees every time he looks at his reflection. It’s hard for him to see himself when those voices echo inside his head each time his eyes trail down those scars. That’s all he ends up seeing.

Those scars.

It’s the reason that Eskel stays away from mirrors, and why he always has to collect water from a rushing river. He can never allow himself to look at his reflection or else his insecurities might get to him. Eskel may be a witcher, made for killing some of the most dangerous creatures on the continent. 

But he’s still a man. One who has a heart more fragile and kinder than anyone you’ve ever met.

You see it. How can’t he?

Eskel doesn’t know all the time you take to admire his features. Whether he was cleaning his gear, making a fire, or taking care of Scorpion, you were there to watch every little movement that he made. 

One thing that Eskel hardly allowed you to do was clean his wounds.

He would come back beaten and bloody, but still refuse any help you would offer. At first, you thought he was being stubborn. But you later realized that Eskel had one sole purpose when it came to avoiding your assistance.

He didn’t want you to see him. 

The witcher was full of scars, this was well known. Eskel figured they made him unlovable, so he kept them hidden from your gaze even though you were well aware that they were there. No matter what you said to him, he never believed you. But there was one thing that you absolutely adored about him.

Eskel’s smile.

It’s a little half smile as he never smiles fully. His scars render the other half of his face motionless. Eskel feels if he moves them, people will notice more. He tries to not pay any attention to it. The witcher only ever smiled when he was drunk with Lambert and Geralt, or when he was truly excited or happy for something.

Which was rare.

You loved his little half smile and wished you could see it more. Eskel kept it to himself and no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t get him to do it a lot. He just doesn’t see what you see.

“You should smile more often.” You told him one day after seeing him smile at you. Eskel was just having such a nice time with you that he brought his walls down. But when you mentioned that, his smile instantly vanished and he turned his head away from you, touching his scars in a nervous gesture.

You reminded him. You noticed. And it brought him nothing but shame.

It's been weeks since you started contemplating your feelings. Your love for him has always been there since he took a contract from you. You figured he must feel something too because he kept coming to see you. Eskel was a shy witcher for sure, but now you were at a crossroads with this.

Do you tell him?

Eskel's insecurities always get the better of him, so you didn't know how he would react if you told him how you felt. You didn't want to shut him down or anything. But he deserved to know. And he needed to know that he was more worthy than anyone to be loved.

That he is no monster.

"Eskel? How is it coming along?" You asked the witcher after you came back from washing yourself up in the river. He was kneeling over a fire, trying to pile sticks together before using Igni to light it up.

“It’s coming.” He responded simply. True to his words, a couple seconds passed by, and you guys had a cozy little fire for the evening. You moved to sit on a log, tapping your hands on your legs as you tried to think of what to say to him. Staring at Eskel, you realized that even though he didn’t say much, he obviously sensed that you had something to say.

The witcher had his back to you, and was busying himself with the campfire, poking at it far longer than he needed to.

"Eskel." Your voice said weakly. Eskel pretended that he couldn't hear you, but you knew that was a lie. Witchers have incredible senses.

"Eskel." You said much more strongly, showing him that you weren't backing down. This caused the witcher to jump a bit, and you bit back an apology. He was obviously trying to ignore you.

"Yes? Sorry...I just had a lot on my mind." Eskel said while stumbling back a bit to sit beside you. He was tense, hands folded in his lap as his leg jumped around in an anxious manner. It was also hard for his golden cat-like eyes to look in your e/c ones. Perhaps he knew what you were going to say.

Perhaps he was afraid of the opposite.

“I noticed...hey, you ever think that there’s more to life than this?” You decided to ease into your confession, not wanting the poor man to shut down on you. Still, you scooted a bit closer to him, causing Eskel to swallow nervously.

“What do you mean? For a witcher, there isn’t much more than this.” Eskel said, folding his hands together and staring deep into the fire. You gave him a sad look, but it quickly glossed over with one of love.

You just couldn’t help but admire how the fire made Eskel look even more rugged. More handsome, in your eyes.

“But what if...what if there was someone who wanted to share it with you? Someone...who loved just everything about you...” You confessed while moving to touch his knee. Just like you expected, Eskel tensed up before moving his body away from your touch.

“That’s impossible. Why would anyone choose to love someone like me? A monster...a scarred monster...” Eskel’s voice grew quieter as he spoke, and he moved to gently touch the scars that ran down his face. If you looked close enough, you could see the heavy rise and fall of his chest. It’s almost as if Eskel was struggling not to just break down at the words he just said.

And it broke your heart.

“Is it that hard to believe that I love you?” You asked him in a whisper, moving to touch his shoulder and make him look at you. It took Eskel a while, but he eventually gave into your touch.

Looking into his eyes, you saw how miserable he looked.

But your heart broke even more when he nodded slightly at your question.

Gently, you brought up your hand to grab his that was trying to hide the scars. Then, after prying his hand away and gripping it in your own, you moved your free hand up to cup his cheek and gently trace over the scars with your finger. He couldn’t stop himself from closing his eyes a bit at the warmth.

“Please don’t push me away...” You begged him quietly, squeezing his hand a bit. Eskel responded in kind, barely being able to muster out an apology because of how choked up with emotion he was. 

“I...I...Thank you...I feel the same for you...” Eskel didn’t know how to respond to your feelings, which he greatly returned in full. He never said anything because he was afraid of the rejection he was sure to receive. But now, he was just basking in the relief and love he felt around you.

“Eskel...” You moved to brush some black hair out of his eyes before kissing his scars and saying, “You are more worthy of my love than anyone else.”

As you said this, moving your hand to rub his back, you could’ve sworn you saw him smile a bit. While you continued to stare, Eskel moved to look you in the eyes for the first time in a long while.

And, just when you thought you would never see it again, he gave you that adoring half-smile.

[the-one-who-lambs]

AO3 Questions Tag Game!

I was tagged by @bamsara (on my main @onethirdofimpossible but most of my readers follow me here for cotl stuff so I'm posting it here)

I tag @i-eat-deodorant and @megsiepoo!

Under the readmore because this is long as shit

1 – How many works do you have on AO3?

69 BAYBEEEE

2 – What’s your total AO3 word count?

213,360 words published

3 – What fandoms do you write for?

Previously: Pokemon (no longer online), Steven Universe, a few Deep-Sea Prisoner games (Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea, The Grey Garden, Ice Scream)

Currently: Cult of the Lamb

4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Care and Keeping of Eldritch Gods. Until the rewrite of RL/FG is done, this is my magnum opus

Present My first ever CotL fic. This was the first time I'd written fic in like four years and I was dusting off my writing muscles...

Smitten soft narilamb....

Cat(nip) Boy wrote this for shits and giggles in my early fandom days. The One Who Waits on catnip

How Narinder Takes His Tea First part of the old RL/FG series. Though I'm remaking it as a longform multichap fic, I'm keeping up the old series because of the memories + I don't want other people who saved the old one to lose it.

5 – Do you respond to comments?

All the time! I was able to respond to literally every single comment back in 2022, but as last year went on, I realized I probably can't realistically do that anymore. It's a blessing and a curse.

6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

We already knew how this would turn out. Title not given directly in my answer in case of spoilers. My readers saw it coming because I had built up to it, but I took my time writing the gradual reveal in the last chapter to make sure it landed the way I wanted it to.

And one more comment I won't post here bc (for anyone who wants to read it) spoils the ending but shoutout to the person who physically felt the shock lurch through their body when the realization hit them after the slow build-up.

As much as I love angsty stories with happy endings, what gets me more are stories that are happy at face value, with endings that are heartwrenching because of the underbelly of what lurked beneath that facade.

7 – What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God. Bit a spoilers below if you're avoiding that

The original wedding fic (as part of the original series) is up, but it's going to get a good polishing in the rewrite. Lambert and Narinder are going to have a private first dance, Thenana and Narinder are going to have a deeper conversation, Ratau's interactions with Lambert are gonna be shown rather than just told, Aym and Baal will be revived.

8 – Do you get hate on fics?

Mostly no. There was one time last year that I was compared to another writer in the fandom and slowly asks evolved into "your own concepts are being done better by others" and shit, and the other writer got hate messages as well, and... well, it was a whole thing. Don't wanna talk too in detail about it because I don't wanna beat a dead horse but cotl writers have unionized so we got the last laugh I guess

9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

lol ya it's on remainderofreality. What "kind?" uh. experimental because I'd never tried the genre before this fandom and it kinda shows but that's okay.

10 – Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Honestly, I'm not really into crossovers! Unless it's Webber in cotl. He can stay, he's cute.

11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah. It was actually the first fic I posted online, ever. In middle school, I wrote a whole ~100k-ish word self-insert pokemon fanfic, which I wrote by hand in like five composition notebooks, so I never posted that online. But after that I decided to post shorter one-shots for pokemon online, and a few months later I found one of mine reposted without credit. Plagiarized entirely, basically. It scared me and I deleted everything I had posted online, and I don't have extra copies of the works now. :(

12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but I'd be okay with it if I was asked beforehand and proper credit was given!

13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yeah! Of Duty and Devotion is basically a glorified roleplay between me as Aym, @i-eat-deodorant as Baal, @checkplzjuliet as The Lamb, and @surfdudeboy as Narinder. I also wrote Hide and Seek, a cute little Bishop family one-shot, with @lordiedams (hi Damien I miss you).

14 – What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Narilamb. I haven't focused on a ship for this long, except maybe Rupphire back in the day, but I'm fixated so much more on CotL than I was for SU.

15 – What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Honestly, Of Duty and Devotion lmao. I'm much more focused on my own projects and so are Pavi, Surf, and Juliet. I do want to finish it though.

16 – What are your writing strengths?

Pacing, diction, syntax, getting the intended point across and doing it well. Once I commit to doing something, I don't usually let myself "give up" on it, hence why I barely have any unfinished WIPs. That's a skill honed with tons of practice, though. I have massive ADHD, and I'm bad at finishing things, but when it comes to writing by god I'm gonna do it.

17 – What are your writing weaknesses?

I often struggle to get to a point where I'm totally focused in on what I'm writing. It does happen once or twice a month, but honestly, I'm usually so busy with life stuff that I don't get to do that most of the time! I wish I had more time to make room for my hobbies, but alas. At least summer is coming up, and I'll be able to do that more often, hopefully!

18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's possible to do it naturally for sure, but I rarely see it done well in fic. I've never attempted it...... or, wait, have I? I guess Thenana's sign language counts, huh? ...I feel like I need to do more research about this topic to answer the question properly.

19 – First fandom you wrote for?

Pokemon <3

20 – Favorite fic you’ve written?

The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God or The Care and Keeping of Eldritch Gods.

Risen/Fallen (and the enemies-to-lovers narilamb dynamic) was like the first thing that I did to make a "mark" on this fandom, and I didn't expect it to inspire so many people for sure! But, the first iteration of the series was so rushed. I wrote the whole thing in just over three weeks and averaged one chapter published every day and a half. Now that I have a better grasp on the characters after playing with them for a long while, I get to see my improvement, and I get to see so many friends I've made along the way sticking with me, the revamped "director's cut" version is definitely on track to be my favorite work.

However. It has yet to surpass Care and Keeping. As the oldest of four kids in my family, I based so much of Shamura on my experiences as an eldest sibling, and many of the experiences the younger bishops had in their formative years on our own childhoods. I based Narinder's childhood off of brother #1's (brother who is two years younger than me), Kallamar's childhood on my own, Heket's childhood on my sister's (five years younger than me), and Leshy's off of my youngest brother's (ten years younger than me). This story wasn't just an exploration of the Bishops and their dynamic/relationship pre-canon, it's also a testament to my own love as an eldest sibling... and all the anxiety associated with that, too.

Thanks for tagging me! Back to working on my presentation...

[sophieswundergarten]

More Thoughts on Communications Officer Samuel Lambert and OCD

LAMBERT The people who wrote it are smarter than us, have more experience on - LOVELACE You just want things to be the way you want them to be! LAMBERT This is not about what I want!

- Wolf 359, Special Episode: Change of Mind

I don't know if this is just a me thing, but my OCD brain automatically makes me assume I don't know what I'm doing and that other people are smarter than I am, even if it's about a subject that I am extremely educated on.

To me, this reads like an argument where Lambert is trying his hardest to keep Lovelace on the straight and narrow so as to avoid any catastrophes, but is also fighting against his own mind.

Lovelace doesn't understand at all how much she's triggering him, and it certainly isn't malicious, but her ignorance is causing him enormous amounts of distress. Meanwhile, Lambert is also incredibly frustrated that he is so very beholden to the DSSPPM.

He doesn't want to defer to Pryce and Carter as much as he is forced to. He knows some of it is stupid. But, he's only Sam Lambert. He doesn't know what he's doing. He is unprepared for anything that might happen during this job, and so it only makes sense that he should listen to the people who literally wrote the book on it.

Somewhere along the way, his frustration turned into a more personal feud to Lovelace because of how much his fear, stress, and anger became immediately associated with her as a person.

But this little snippet of dialogue interests me because of how upset he seems. "This is not about what I want!" He doesn't even sound like he would like to be following Pryce and Carter's instructions. He'd rather be able to listen to Lovelace, seeing as she's the Captain. He's Second in Command; She is literally the only person who is above him on the station.

But the inner storm of conflict created by having your real, physical boss at odds with your technically higher-up boss who is 7.8 light years away must be a nightmare to wake up to every day.

That doesn't mean that he is in the right for being so unkind and disrespectful to Lovelace, but I think it's a little more understandable from this perspective.

Lambert views the DSSPPM as a symbol for his obsessive thoughts; controlling and difficult, but familiar and "comfortable". Conversely, Lovelace is almost a manifestation of his deepest fears and anxieties, and as much as he'd prefer to not feel that way about his Commanding Officer, he can't exactly help it. Better the devil you know than the one you don't.

[ravenouscultleader780]

COTL : The Midsummonar Diaries(8-12-24 ----18-24-24)

Lambert : "Dear Diary Recently on our current day 615 of Midsummonar, our growing family of members and followers have became quite interesting after a few weeks gone by.

Recently I've done a few rituals consisting of a new daily schedule in our temple from Guving my beloved followers a morning food feast, then a enrichment ritual and finally as the last thing any other daily ritual I'm commenced or convinced would be fine to lift up their faith so no members shall lose their worshipping and hardworking devotion we've breached farther throughout the last 2 years!

And speaking of such changes to my followers, my beloved wife Samantha Bloodsucker Sheepard has been gained a happily married trait as a reward for our faithful and everlasting growth of a family of Spousal children, grandchild I've adopted and raised alongside my beloved purple bat demoness!

Overtime Sammi and Midges Daughter Maxine Butterfree(who's a very splitting image of their birth mother Sammi) and has a lot of her other mother Midges Quirks and Flings with lovers from her time of her youth of immortality thanks to the golden skull necklace I've gifted most of the followers I deem favorable or most kept as worshippers for better or worse..

Anyways Maxine or as I like to call her Maxiie with 2 letter Is has ended up with a charming shy orange tiger cat by the name of Armen Clawhauser whom is pretty humble and a sweet husband to her in mating and having many children(6 so far! & counting)

With their first being Maximus Butterfree who is a wonderful young purple cat of a member, he loves missions with his current love of Alice loves missions also as I gave them a task of going on a simple mission.

As for more updates on such members I've recently gotten a new kind of member who had a peculiarity of a poet which they write poems all day in the most odd places of the grounds of the cult base..

My first one I've named after William Shakespeare only taking Shakespeare as his official name and is now a father and written plenty poems over the past few days since he's joined and with him having a daughter named Juliet and she's a follower in her poetic father's writing footsteps it's too adorable to witness everyday!

As for Julie's mother Pyra, she loves her daughter but became overwhelmed with such a role of being a parental mother to her daughter of having such a trait of poet with lack of doing hard work..

By the way Crownie took some pictures of such a cute few quotes I plan to use from them!

Here's Shakespeare's he wrote most about the bishops and I adore such to use as quotes!

And here's his daughter Julie's which she's a natural like her dear father!

Honestly both of the kitties have such pride & love of writing poems and maybe just maybe Juliet can be a match for Maximius Jr. And speaking of him.. oh lord below..

Well can't post anymore a part 2 shall be written but that will be back to return for another Diaries log of our cult and day of forthcoming 666th day which were doing steady good atm

Fare de well cultists-Lambert

[oldandkinky]

Find the word! tag game, tagged by the lovely lovely @piceuscelus

Words: scream, warn, stay

Scream (from the underage beast thing I wrote after I prompted the one for @dead-dove-diner )

In any case, he could hear her coming down the steps, humming softly to herself. He could have stopped Jaskier, could have pulled him off his prick and made sure they were decent before Ciri could see anything - but he didn't. Jaskier's arse feels too good, hot and tight and plush, and Geralt would rather cut off his own arm than pull out of that heavenly clutch. Besides, Ciri is twelve, old enough to learn about these things.

He reaches around Jaskier and grabs hold of his cheeks, pulls them apart to give their little voyeur a better view. Jaskier groans and fucks down harder, oblivious of their audience.

"Fuck, Geralt, yes, fuck, fuck, feel so good inside me," the troubadour whines, and Geralt plants his feet wide and thrusts up into his tight arse. “Yes! Oh, gods, ‘m gonna- Fuck, love, ‘m gonna come-”

Geralt pulls him down hard into every upwards thrust of his hips, and it’s jarring, so rough that Jaskier’s teeth clack loudly, and it shoves Jaskier straight over the edge into his orgasm. He screams, his nails leaving angry red grooves on Geralt’s shoulders as he comes between them, and the sharp pain of the scratches combined with Ciri’s flushed little face in the shadows, the shocked, confused flutter of her heart, that’s enough to lead Geralt to his end as well. He groans and sinks his teeth into his bard’s shoulder, his hands leaving bruises on his hips as he empties himself into Jaskier’s guts, and when he manages to gather his wits again, they’re alone once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warn (from a "What if Lambert showed up to save Essi instead of Geralt" Honey AU)

The village is bustling. It's almost Lammas and everyone is in a good mood, making Lambert stick out like a sore thumb even more than he usually would. He avoids towns during festivals for this exact reason, but now he doesn't have a choice.

He does, in fact, but he's committed to seeing this through, even if the thought of facing Jaskier again makes him vaguely sick. What if the boy has changed his mind about what happened, if he feels taken advantage of - in what way?, a voice that sounds exactly like Aiden's whispers in his head -, if he spits in Lambert's face and-

"Lambert!"

He only gets a second's warning before something small and sturdy slams into his legs, thin arms winding around them. A blue eye peeks up at him from under wild blond hair.

"Hey, Essi."

He stands there like a dolt, Essi's arms still wrapped around his legs, unsure what to do. They're in the middle of the street, and he can feel the suspicious looks of the neighbours like a physical touch. Kids and Witchers are never a good combination in most people's opinion.

"Jaskier didn't think you'd come back but I knew you would!" the girl chirps, and Lambert looks down at her again.

"Yeah?"

~~~~~~~~~~

Stay (omegaverse Geraskier piss fic 🤷)

Jaskier loses a bit of time, he thinks, because when he can focus again he's being pulled off the horse by strong arms. There's an old fireplace, some logs set up around it. It looks like this is a popular rest stop, and the Witcher leads him over to the logs and presses him down.

"Stay here," he instructs, but Jaskier tips forward as he steps back.

He winds his arms around the Witcher's thigh and presses his face into the man's crotch with a whine, and oh, he never wants to leave this place. The Witcher smells fucking amazing here, his base scent mixed with sweat and the unmistakable scent of his cock, and now, after however long they've shared the saddle, of Jaskier and Jaskier's piss, and he nuzzles against the leather like a man starved.

"Fuck." The Witcher stands stiffly as Jaskier huffs his scent, but he's not as reluctant as he's pretending to be. His cock swells against Jaskier's cheek, noticeable even through the leather, and he turns his head just so and noses against it.

Who cares that he has never fucked an alpha? Right now, all he can think about is sitting on this delicious-smelling dick, taking the no doubt wonderful knot until he can’t see straight anymore. Surely the alpha won't begrudge him that?

~~~~~~~

Tagging @restless-witch, @greyduckgreygoose, and @witchertrashparty, if you want to.

Your words are "sweet", "hold", and "strong".

(also excuse the janky formatting, I'm doing this on my phone and it's The Worst)

[ainyan]

Tag 9 people to get to know them better

Tagged by: @sasslett

Three ships: Kalicred (Kal'istae x Thancred), Cipcir (Ciprys x Cirdan), and Miurani'kal'istae x Theron Shan

First Ever Ship: Gods, I can't remember that far back. The first ship I ever wrote fanfic for (that I remember)? Very much my original Shenko ship (Liandyn Shepard x Kaidan Alenko). But even before that, I did some shipping even as far back as high school, and for WoW, DA, XI, etc).

Last Song: Oh, I don't know. Last one I remember listening to is 'For Your Entertainment' by Adam Lambert.

Last Movie: Dungeons & Dragons

Currently Reading: The Great Hunt by Robert Jordan

Currently Watching: Lucifer (again)

Currently Consuming: Unhealthy media

Currently Craving: Oddly nothing.

Tagging: @sylaurin, @eorzeashan, @thelealinhypehouse, @starrysnowdrop, @otherworldseekers, @eriyu, @gatheredfates, @pangolinheart, @writerman

[the-butch-of-blaviken]

Chapter: 1/?

Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)

Rating: T

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationship: Lambert & Eskel, Aiden/Lambert/Keira Metz, Eskel/Geralt of Rivia

Additional tags: Post-The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, Character Study, siblings dynamics, Grief/Mourning, Eskel has eldest child syndrome, I Shook A Witcher And Intergenerational Trauma Fell Out (The Witcher), Drinking, Depressed Eskel (The Witcher), brothers helping each other through their trauma, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary:

An instinct he can't name urges Lambert to go back to Kaer Morhen one last time, months after Vesemir's death. He should know better: there's nothing to go back to now, only ghosts and memories. When he gets there, he finds that there is indeed a ghost haunting the halls of the old keep — but maybe he can bring this one back among the living.

At least this time he's not alone.

Happy New Year! I'm tired of sitting on this wip so as a new year resolution, I decided to finally post the first chapter as a way to force myself to commit to it. It's far from perfect but I wrote this more than a year ago and I'm sick of editing it.

(Just a heads-up: Geralt doesn't actually appear in this until the last chapter(s), but his relationship with Eskel is heavily discussed by the characters throughout the fic, which is why I'm tagging this as Eskel/Geralt.)

[sluttyhenley]

for the fanfic asks: 8, 16, 24!

8 - Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

Ok so. I have three that are each daunting in different ways and all of them I am really hoping to get to. And hoping that I’m at a point in my writing where I do them justice. The first is a fic that I actually started a couple years ago. It’s a no powers au centered on grief trauma and recovery that I call the tin man fic (from Miranda lambert’s tin man) for the old guard. The second one is a time travel au idea inspired by this is how you lose the time war for Ethan x ilsa. With things like loss and grief and dangerous hope. The last one is a post ending last samurai fic I definitely want to write dealing with (you guessed it) grief and loss. All of these are daunting to me because they’re not themes I’m used to exploring and I’m hoping to have the language and tools to really explore those in evocative ways. So they keep getting pushed to the end of the list even though I really want to write them

16 - Do you have that one fanfic that you wrote a ton for, ages ago, but never posted? Will this be the year, come hell or high water, that it WILL get finished and posted?

Ok. So. Several years ago I wrote a wholeass historical romance au for Star Trek aos and a sequel/companion with a different pairing as the focus. And one day (maybe this year, but I have like thirteen other story ideas on the docket, so maybe not) I would love to get back into them and update the writing because I dare say my writing has improved over the years. These also really tested me at the time because I was still early in my smut writing attempts and I’d like to think I could do those scenes better too. And then I could clean them up and post them

24 - By the end of this year, you want your fandom to think of you as “that author who _______.”

Hmmm I’ve never really thought about my writing that way. The two times I wound up on a rec list I was so surprised to find that people were perceiving my fic and talking about it to others. So idk. Maybe just that author who wrote that one fic that left me with brainworms. Would love to give someone brainworms one day

fic asks for the new year