#Lovelace is a paladin

[mango-lizard]

If the Hephaestus crew were a d&d party, what classes do you think everyone would be?

[forbidden-sunlight]

yandere!holy knight with saintess!reader scenario [epilogue]

Hey guys and welcome back to the finale of the scenario! It's been a pleasure to work with @deathmetalunicorn1 again, and we really hope you've enjoyed reading this as we have writing it. I am still working on a couple of potential concepts, one that you might seen a sneak peek at on here, but stay tuned! If you would like to be added to the taglist, I'll leave the link to that here, So with that being said, sit back, relax, and let's enjoy the show :)

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

On the southeastern coast of the Helux Empire, Brentstall Harbor is a bustling and beautiful city built on its canals. Every day there are goods being imported and exported to all corners of the world, vendors showing off their wares on the cobblestone streets before they are shipped off elsewhere. Ferrymen transport visitors and locals alike in their boats to wherever they wish to for a fee. It was no small wonder why it is considered a popular place by the nobility to settle down here when the social season was off, vacationing in summer homes or doing business to keep themselves occupied. At least it was a much livelier place than where Cosette was

Yandere!Holy Knight still believed Cosette Lovelace’s punishment was still light, in his opinion. 

Confinement in the palace dungeons with no contact to the outside world and ostracized from high society? He would have preferred that she would be burned at the stake for her crimes against the Holy Temple of Aesir, but such an execution was no longer acceptable. Furthermore, it was by the Emperor’s will. Yandere! Holy Knight did not want to jeopardize the amiable relationship between the Empire and the Holy Church just because he wished the heathen to disappear from existence entirely. You had worked too hard, too long, to let it be gone in a single night. He could only hope that being away from the temple would allow you to relax your mind and soul and find solace in Aesir’s arms through prayer. But this trip was not a sabbatical where you would visit and bless the people; this was, in fact, your honeymoon. Yes, that is right. You were now a married woman under His Eyes. Married to him, a paladin. 

No one knew how or why except on the day of the heathen’s condemnation, after she had been escorted out of the temple by the palace guards, a bright light filtered through the stained glass windows behind the High Priest, thinning and branching into two strings that tied his ring finger and yours, creating a pair of rings that matched your robes before it disappeared entirely.  The High Priest immediately recognized this phenomenon  as a sign of Aesir’s Blessing. Their Lord has seen your future with His Eyes, and wishes to unite the two of you in marriage. 

With the Emperor and the members of the congregation as witnesses to this ceremony, sworn to secrecy by the High Priest, Yandere!Holy Knight had become your husband, and you had become his wife. While he was quite overwhelmed with the entirety of this event, his stomach twisting and coiling from anxiety and happiness, Yandere!Holy Knight saw that you had taken everything calmly, telling the High Priest that you were to embark immediately for a trip away from the Temple. You did not know when you would return, but…you wanted your husband to take some time and relax after going through such a traumatic ordeal, and you wished to be left alone for a while. 

Now, here the two of you were, having just arrived at an inn, dressed as plainly as possible. Your mother-of-pearl robes and blindfold would immediately give away your identity to the public, and you had implicitly expressed that you had no desire to visit a temple yet. When it is time to return to your duties as the Reverend Sister, Aesir will give you a sign. You are His Eyes, after all. 

However, there was the matter of…consummating the marriage to make it official. The thought made Yandere Holy Knight’s heart hammer against his ribcage as he stuttered out his concern to you, feeling his face burn with embarrassment. He felt like a fool for asking this, but he needed to know your thoughts on it! Marriage is sacred in this country, and by not consummating it, there was a chance that you could be taken away from someone else whom Aesir might deem as a more suitable partner for you! 

“You are correct in that consummating a marriage is what legitimizes the union between two parties, though such a rule was originally contrived by the nobility, not by the Holy Temple. A marriage in the eyes of Aesir is to cherish one another reverently, discreetly, and not as a means to solidify power nor to satisfy all carnal desires.” You said, jeweled eyes peering at him over your shoulder. You were putting away your belongings when he asked you this question. “And I, for one, will not force you to do anything you do not want. Especially…after what you had been through.” 

Yandere!Holy Knight was stunned. You would not push him to solidify your marriage to him? He could remain pure, thereby still abiding by his Vow of Chasity as a paladin. Although he was deeply humbled by your concern for his well-being, it still felt wrong. Like he was denying any happiness that a husband would and should provide for his wife because of his beliefs. 

Instead of finding the right words to convey his emotions towards you, Yandere!Holy Knight coiled his arms around you from behind in a tight, warm embrace. You were surprised, if only for a moment before a silvery laugh left your mouth, though it was so faint that he almost missed it. 

When you placed your hands on top of his own, Yandere! Holy Knight felt happiness and anxiety bubble beneath his skin followed by more questions. How was it that Aesir believed he was the best marriage partner for you? What would happen if another man took interest and tried to take you away from him? 

No. He could not allow that to happen. He would never allow it. You were his wife, his beloved, the person who had been created to be his companion in life and death. 

Wherever you went, he would follow gladly.

Taglist: @sweetbatherodonkey @lxdymoon0357 @certifiedsimpinggalore @queenmimis @mochinon-yah @tonightwrites @thatstrangesheep @faux-ecrivain @navierkalani @yandere-dark-cupid @swallowtail-lotus @abelheilonwife @aiimee9 @ixchelhernandez4 @justcressida

[smolasianartist]

🩷 Taffy Lovelace - Oath of the Open Sea Paladin 🩷

Inspiration: Blue Eye Samurai, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Les Misérables, Oliver!

[poison-shark]

FUCKIN FINALLY… She’s done!

Meet my Fantasy High: Junior Year OC,

Clarabelle Lovelace.

She’s a junior at Augefort Adventuring Academy and is too busy with extracurriculars during the day to go to class. It’s a good thing Sorcery Class is basically a free period and Warlock class is at night. Speaking of extracurriculars, her hobbies include cuticle care and e-networks… no but for real she’s in Apiary Club, Photography Club, and on the School Decorating Committee. Before and after school she delivers baked goods from her grandfather’s bakery and in the summer she models for her grandmother’s fashion house.

Even with her busy schedule, she’s a straight A student. She has no time for friends which is a good thing because most of them are gone. Her childhood best friends Penelope Everpetal (Deceased), Sam Nightingale (Graduated), and Ragh Barkrock (Also Graduated) seem to all be trying to come back into her life. Her sophomore year friends, The Seven (Mostly Ostentatia Wallace and Danielle Barkstock) are graduated and doing so well gallivanting around Bastion City. Now, her only available friends (Gertie and Mazey) might be collateral for some misguided elf girl.

And now, her responsibilities only increase within the Arboretum of Ardor. The pressure is constant from her paladin grandfather who wants her to multiclass out of Warlock and into Cleric. It’s a good thing her Druid/Cleric father is so supportive of her class decisions, but he’s been too busy between taking care of her little sister and being the Keeper of the Arboretum to talk about her future.

Hopefully, this year she can make some new friends… perhaps some … low quality children.

[calmthefrontdoor]

What if Everyone Had a Normal Job and Just Played D&D Together on the Weekends AU

Hera is the panicked DM

Kepler (Aasimar Oath of Conquest Paladin) and Jacobi (Halfling Artillerist Artificer) are having a macho pissing contest

Maxwell (Elven School of Enchantment Wizard) and Lovelace (Tiefling Mastermind Rogue) are actually strategizing and putting a plan together

Hilbert (Lizardfolk Knowledge Domain Cleric) and Eiffel (College of Eloquence Bard) are having a rules debate that will be absolutely meaningless in 2 turns

and Minkowski (Dwarven Battlemaster Fighter) is not so patiently waiting for her turn

[commsroom]

do you have headcanon dnd classes for the other wolf 359 chars?

YES, i absolutely do. sticking with what they'd be (in the archetypal sense) rather than what they'd play:

other than bard eiffel, my strongest opinion is that minkowski is a paladin. she just has the right values and the setup for a sort of crisis of faith and reclaiming/restructuring of power really works for me.

ranger for lovelace, maybe? i think it could fit her brand of resourcefulness, and the way she's sort of had to become... adaptable and acclimatized to her environment more than the others have.

in one of the AMAs, sarah shachat suggested druid for hera and i really latched onto that because i'm fascinated by the implications, but again, as more of an archetype... i think maybe sorcerer. i really like the idea of hera with storm/lightning magic, especially with the association in wolf's sound design of storms and memory.

i guess hilbert is a cleric, since it's like. the common stand in for medical professions and despite everything that research is kind of what defines him. whether that actually makes him a healer is dubious.

jacobi is a rogue, maxwell is an artificer, kepler is a fighter.

[amazingmsme]

OC Q&A

I’m bored & hyperfixating on all of my children, so I’m opening a q&a for all of my oc’s. Feel free to pop in & ask them anything you’d like! Here’s a basic rundown so you can get acquainted with them

Yernad Delmirev

(Commissioned from @xgeborgenheitx ) Yernad is the crown prince of the island country Zenodrale. He used to be a war general & prevented his country from being invaded, & later moved to travel the world & clear his conscience. He met Naomi and became like her brother & raised her. During a fight, he was killed by death slaads and was later resurrected. He made a deal with the dragon god Bahamut to be his champion & prevent Tiamat from waging war on the living

Naomi Wilts

Naomi is an orphaned satyr who was raised on her own in the woods. Her parents were killed by direwolves, but they managed to tuck her away safely. She became good friends with Yernad while he was passing through, and she convinced him to stay. She saw him die in her arms & she never really got over it. She only recently set out on her own, leaving the woods for the first time

Maria Saldago

Maria Saldago is an aisimar paladin that was raised on a pirate ship. She fell from the heavens as a baby, intended to serve as a knight in a seaside town. The village was pillaged by a band of pirates, and the captain kidnapped her because he thought having an aisimar would be useful. He raised her as his daughter and she is now the proud captain of his ship

Eldritch Lovelace

Who’s my favorite little war criminal? Eldritch Lovelace that’s who! His mom worked at a brothel until the king added him to his harem. Seeing the magical potential he had the higher ups in the castle kept them separated and trained him rigorously. Eventually, the soon to be king got his mother pregnant & executed her for “treason.” He let vengeance consume him, even after he got his revenge by killing the entire royal family & getting away with it by framing the new king. He’s also the leader and founder of a secret cult, The Divine Order. He’s in the middle of waging a fake war with a fake country the cult made up so they can make a mass empire through alliances. He’s winning bestie. He’s on top of the world & nothing can bring him down❤️

Jackson Ward

Jackson is a teifling who was raised in an orphanage and aged out of the system. Despite this, he’s very successful and graduated high school at 15 and finished college before he turned 20. He’s a forensic specialist at a police station performing autopsies. He’s helped solve a good handful of cases since he started working there. He doesn’t really have many friends & is shunned at work for being the “weird guy who works with dead bodies.” He’s definitely had experiences with ghosts while working, & he had to testify on behalf of what the ghost of the victim told him. That was a real rough day in court. Anyway, he’s crushing hard on one of the victim’s sister. He feels guilty about it tho because of how they met.

P.S. Jackson really hates Christmas. At the orphanage they all had to share the toys & nothing was really yours. He doesn’t have a family to be with on the holiday & just works instead. So he’s a grumpy grinch ☹️

MIRS

Mirs stands for Marine Intelligence Response System, as she was originally an AI aboard a submarine. Unknown to her, she was made as a placebo effect & couldn’t actually protect the team of scientists on their expedition. As you can imagine, the mission went awry & there ended up being a traitor who sabotaged the whole thing, killing the entirety of the human crew. Mirs was left betrayed & heartbroken because she failed her only purpose & after a few years, pieces of the original submarine was recovered & her tech was recovered to give her a new body. She has a lot of trauma revolving around the failed mission but she’s living her own life now & is fairly happy

Magnolia of the Water Ashari

Magnolia is a cleric from a temple in a small village that was ransacked a few months prior. Her brother is said to be involved in the attack but she refused to believe it and set out on her own in search of the truth. She joined a small group & managed to save Shroomsville from a corrupt circle of politicians that had the town under a mind spell & had kidnapped all of their children. Since freeing the town, Magnolia set out with her newly proclaimed best friend in search of new adventures

Gregor Schieffer

Gregor used to be a human, but when he discovered the local priest had raped & impregnated his younger sister, he spoke out against the church & their town, only to be cursed for daring to go against their authority. He grew resentful of humanity & the town he once called home, doomed to watch over the very church that caused his family so much grief. Coated in dust and forgotten over time, he awaits the day where he will once be free. (Yeah I just wanted a gargoyle oc because of an episode of Face Off, what of it?)

Ambrosius Johnson

Ambrosius was born in Victorian England and when old enough, opened his own bookshop where he met his sweetheart Angelic. One night, he was mugged in an alleyway & beaten within an inch of his life, during which he was turned into a vampire. Confessing to his fiancé, she broke off the engagement in terror, leaving him heartbroken. After meeting 2 older vampires and turning his sister after she convinced him to do so, they formed a band that would return every few decades after they’ve faked their death. Now they’re a very popular rock band called Mother Suckers & include lots of classical elements in their music. Ambrosius is still torn up over his lost love and many of their songs are about her.

Lilith Shelly

Lilith is a tiefling whose bad luck lead her to where she is now. Her family has always lived in poverty, so Lilith took to deceit & thievery to provide for her family and became a hit man for a crime syndicate. As a blood hunter, she was able to do her job swiftly & easily, until she was framed for betrayal & now there’s a bounty on her head. Living on the run, she had to leave her family behind. She uses a fake accent & innocent persona to hide her true identity, searching for a way to clear her name

[blightchu]

[incorrect-rqg]

I posted 256 times in 2021

182 posts created (71%)

74 posts reblogged (29%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.4 posts.

I added 1,031 tags in 2021

#rqg - 229 posts

#rusty quill gaming - 217 posts

#incorrect quotes - 175 posts

#rqg wilde - 90 posts

#rqg zolf - 77 posts

#rqg hamid - 57 posts

#rqg sasha - 53 posts

#not a quote - 49 posts

#zoscar - 44 posts

#rqg azu - 40 posts

Longest Tag: 100 characters

#i just think they deserve to be a chaos polycule living together on a houseboat and causing mischief

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Zolf: Okay, truth or dare?

Wilde: Truth

Zolf: How many hours have you slept this week?

Wilde:

Wilde: ...Dare

Zolf: Go to bed.

Wilde: I don't like this game.

206 notes • Posted 2021-05-23 21:38:54 GMT

#4

Rusty Quill Gaming! In which:

Oscar Wilde gets punched in the dick by a goblin

Oscar Wilde dies twice (don't worry he gets better)

Oscar Wilde starts a QPR with a sad dwarf

His personality pretty much checks out though

Marie Curie is a lesbian girlboss

Nikola Tesla is like... A sad dilf

Albert Einstein is your weird drugged up great-uncle who you only see every two years but is extremely iconic

Thomas Edison... Is basically the same as he was irl. That is to say he sucks.

Franz Kafka is a funky evil necromancer

The guy who uncovered Tutankhamun's tomb has ADHD and is also a slightly incompetent gay burglar

There's this semi-famous Japanese philosopher but he's an evil brain in an orb.

Amelia Earhart is a gun-wielding steampunk gnome with an alcohol problem

Ada Lovelace is pretty normal and competent actually. Good for her.

222 notes • Posted 2021-12-06 21:30:38 GMT

#3

Reblog to kiss a jittery goblin paladin on his little gray forehead

226 notes • Posted 2021-08-24 03:54:14 GMT

#2

Based, of course, on this iconic post

330 notes • Posted 2021-09-23 02:12:04 GMT

#1

Ah yes, Rusty Quill Gaming. Featuring such highlights as:

3' tall capitalist lizard gets converted to socialism

Gay Donald Trump throws a dog off a roof

Fanboy has a bad breakup, sulks for awhile, then becomes God

Socially inept goth girl tells everyone she's dead inside

Local 10 year old won't shut up about how his girlfriend is a hunter

Diversity win! That girl from your highschool math textbook who bought 100,000 marbles is POC and bisexual!

Trans rights but with explosions

Also featuring!

All your favourite late 19th century celebrities, but now they're gay and sad!

388 notes • Posted 2021-06-03 03:20:44 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[scrambled-eggsed]

A bunch of nonsense regarding Rusty Quill Gaming

Could possibly be shaped into an actual theory by people smarter than I am (by which I mean - please add to this! I'm tryna figure out the mystery, at least partially, and more opinions are always valued):

Gonna open with my main point and say that I think Persephone is really important to everything we don't know about the cult of Hades, and thus possibly the whole campaign. This is basically a few points about that idea.

[continuing below the cut because it gets a bit long]

We saw in the ancient Rome sidequest that the temple that was fitting for Hades was actually a temple for Persephone. Hades wasn't really popular, and we didn't see any evidence that confirms that he was being worshipped at all.

I think Alex may have hinted a bunch of times that the entity that gives Zolf his powers isn't just the concept of hope, and from a narrative perspective I think Persephone fits really well into this.

The party is currently trying to figure out a strange seed. And, y'know, Persephone was the Goddess of Spring, essentially, right? Plants, flowers, the sprouting of seeds? And if it had anything to do with the simulacrum, it would make sense that it would be metallic (I realise that this is a longshot but it just sort of makes sense, and possibly could make more sense when the party gets to Svalbard and gets more information about the seed).

Edit after 180: The Garden of Yerlik is described as “the garden where one can follow the path from life to death and back.” That sounds A LOT like Persephone.

A few pieces of info, or lack thereof, I don't know where to fit into all of this:

According to Azu's knowledge (I think Alex gave this info right after Barrett told LOLOMG about the cult of Hades), the cult of Hades were the main corrupters of Rome. However, as I said (and also assuming I remember correctly; again, feel free to comment, add or correct me), we didn't see any worshippers of Hades back then, right? (I would like to say that the whole thing with the evil Paladins [according to the wiki, it was the cult of Mars] who also freed the dragons was never really clear to me [why did they do it? also it went sort of wrong, right? like the dragons burned the commanding officer or smth] so if anyone actually understood that part, Please Help)

Wtf does Wellington's son got to do with all of this. This is unclear to me because A) I don't know how British aristocracy works, and I think that could have some relevant information and B) so far, Alex has named the Real Important npcs after real historical figures, with a few similarities between the character and the historical figure (for example - Oscar Wilde is a witty writer, Marie Curie and all the others from Prague are the equivalent to well-known scientists and academics, Guy Fawkes caused trouble with gunpowder (Guy Fawkes is really interesting bc she was also Byron's sister, which leads me to my next point -)) and that's why I think he's not just Wellington's son but is based on an actual historical figure - the question is who. All things considered, I suspect it could explain why it all started in London and seems to be based there.

We don't actually know what the cult of Hades' goal is. According to Barnes, the infected are just trying to infect as many people as possible and basically spread the infection and take over the world, but what would they even gain from that? I saw people saying this links to Mr. Ceiling but I really don't understand how that could be.

Tesla and the simulacrum. Just in general. We don't know how the simulacrum fell into Edison's hands (maybe It's the same thing that happened with the lightbulb in our world, but I highly doubt that, considering that Tesla was also responsible to the flooding of London (which is another thing I don't understand. Other London seems to have existed for a while - decades, at least - but as I understand, the general idea is that Tesla is still very much alive, and fled to America (or maybe is just on the run in general) with Eda Lovelace and another person I think?, so he's either an old man now, or not human, or I have misunderstood) and therefore was more important in that world than he is in ours. Unless there's Tesla lore I'm not aware of, in our world or the campaign's). Also, where does the simulacrum link up with the cult of Hades? Which leads me to my next point:

As I recall, the cult of Hades were the ones in charge of the factory in Damascus. Why? Was this another part of the taking-over-the-world plan? The simulacra were a replacement for the workers, which could mean that they were just looking to increase efficiency, but the riots in London have already started at that point, so they knew the world, and with it the economy, production and distribution, were gonna crash. Maybe they just wanted to replace the workers so they wouldn't be lacking the workforce when they got infected, but surely other robots could do that, and not specifically the most advanced and expensive ones out there.

Based on the whole idea of this post, every point concerning the cult of Hades also relates to - where does Persephone fit into all this? How did Hades replace Persephone? Where did Persephone "go"? Since the gods are real and pay some attention to the world, how does Persephone feel about all this? My guess (which is based on a hunch, which is based on pretty much nothing) is that Hades has taken over the role of "main god of the underworld" and everything done by the cult of Hades is supported by him, and Persephone Does Not Like This and is subtly helping those who try to reverse this, through Zolf and possibly other ways (I may have listened to Hadestown way too many times, but there is something to be said about Persephone basically making the world regrow and heal after every winter - and so perhaps also after a metaphorical winter, where it isn't necessarily winter but it's just a terrible situation that people somehow get through?)

EDIT: Cannot BELIEVE I didn't think about this earlier - did the Meritocracy attempt to erase Persephone? (Assuming she is actually relevant,) The only trace of her seems to be the Garden of Yerlik in the northern wastes, and Cel keeps saying that it's really weird how they were the only one who have already known there were people living there. Did the Meritocracy tell everyone that there's nothing in the northern wastes because they didn't want people to stumble upon the Bear Cities and see that garden? This also seems plausible because pretty much the only creatures who know exactly what happened in Ancient Rome are the Meritocrats, so they would be the only ones to know that Persephone was an important God back then. Also (and again, can't believe I didn't think about this earlier) this could tie in directly to why everyone thinks the cult of Hades were at fault for the fall of Rome - they were probably the ones to spin the story thay way. So basically, do the Meritocrats have any other motive that we don't know about? (Currently the last ep to come out was 180 so I might edit this again once the next one releases) Also I assume there’s some connection to the Cult of Mars but I can’t say exactly.

[vaspider]

New & Updated Intro Post

My intro post is now incredibly outdated, so, here’s an entirely new one. Let’s start with a few important updates:

If you like what I do? Consider hiring me, consider buying something from NerdyKeppie (the shop I own with my spouse - we do custom work!), consider buying me a coffee or becoming a Patron or tossing some money in my PayPal tip jar.

I am a disabled, queer, fat, Jewish non-binary butch whose entire income is derived from selling Quality Queerwear via our company NerdyKeppie (we also offer patches of all sorts, nerd gear, etc -- if you don’t see it, ask!), Patreon (queer fiction for a dollar) and freelance work. Please consider supporting me if you like what I do!

Yes, I used to identify as femme and in 2018 I came out as butch and forgot to update my intro post for like a year. So, yes, at one point I identified as femme, largely due to social pressure and trying to be something I wasn’t. 2018 is the year I claimed my butch soul, and holy shit, I’ve never been happier. This is not an indication of me not understanding butch and femme - it’s an understanding that no matter how old you get, you are constantly on a journey to understand yourself better. Or, at least, you should be. 

At one point I identified as pansexual as well as bisexual, and I like the header art with the pansexual flag in it which was made for me years ago, so even though I no longer identify as pansexual, I’m keeping it until I find something I like better. You’d think I wouldn’t have to explain all this but people love picking at these things. 

No, I am not going to debate the history or meaning of butch and femme with you or anyone. The links are in my header. 

If you’re here to hateread, do yourself a favor and don’t. That’s just not healthy. And for the love of G-d, stop linking to my posts. I can see your posts, y’all; I have a site tracker. It’s just awkward and kind of sad. 

Okay, so anyway. 

Radfems, TWERFs, SWERFs and REGs/Exclusionists are explicitly not welcome here, and I do not want my family stories or life used for your politics. I block all of these categories, full stop. Radfems & TWERFs/TERFs deny the essential humanity of myself and my daughter and Exclusionists are just sort of painfully clueless about community history and what the community actually looks like offline. if you self-ID as one of those, please save us all the trouble and just don’t. If you’ve reblogged one of my posts and added something about how this proves one of your points, please pretend you respect other people and take it down.

If you are here because you don’t understand the post about the dog that attacked me, or its point, either legitimately or because you don’t really want to get it & want to argue with me about it, tell me I need to get counseling for my fear of dogs, tell me I’ve compared men to dogs, please go read seananmcguire explaining the post to someone who already sent me an ask about it. That pretty much covers why the post exists. Also you should buy and read Seanan’s books.

Also, also, all of the stories about @seananmcguire you’ve heard are probably true if they’re bizarre or funny. Especially the one about the lizard and the one about the frog.

If you’re here to tell me my views on asexuality & the queer community are wrong or that stuff I lived through & you weren’t born yet for is ‘ahistorical,’ go away. This blog is explicitly anti-gatekeeping for the Not-Straight Club.

If you’re here about the post about my great-grandmother, I kind of don’t have it in my heart to answer all the sad family stories. If you shared a family story on that post, thank you. If you want to use it to make some sort of gross radfem point about marital rape or some comment about how my great-granddad should have learned to pull out, I’m gonna block you without answering you. Don’t be gross.

If you’re here about the tiny house post, please read the notes, I’m not gonna explain it again.

Anon is never turned on, but if you ask me not to publish an ask, I won’t. Please remember to put that in the ask.

So here’s some stuff you should know about me:

I’m older than large portions of Tumblr, and in a fair number of cases I’m probably twice your age or more. If that’s a problem, I really am not offended if you aren’t cool with interacting with me. Age can be a powerful unbalancer in social relationships. I AM going to get annoyed if you start ‘explaining’ stuff I lived through to me and insisting you know my history better than I do.

Since it bears repeating one more time: I’m not interested in interacting with TWERFs, SWERFs, or ace-exclusionary queers. I’ve been Out for nearly 30 years & I really have no desire to argue my lived experience with anyone. I explicitly reject the term SGA.

My immediate family consists of my spouse @dadhoc, our beloved @apocalycious, my   teenage daughter @mistresskabooms and stepson, my adopted son Owl, and DadHoc, MK and I’s 3 dogs: Lyudmila Pupperchenko (Mila), Captain Malcolm Reynolds (Cap), and Ser Davos Seawoof (Davos).

My brother’s band is Downtrodder and you should listen to them, because they’re awesome.

No one in my immediate family is cis or het. I have been called Spider for 20+ years, & now a lot of people call me Mama Spider.  

In this house we understand that Ally is a verb, and it’s possible to be antagonistic toward a marginalization that you possess. Internalized transphobia, ableism, etc. are hellacious things to uproot. In this house we try to stay in our lanes & we understand call-outs while being aware of the toxic parts of call-out culture. Be cool to teenagers: you were one, and yes, the shit you said was just as stupid. You don’t win points for browbeating a teenager over an idea, you just look like a jerk.

I used to have a lot of paragraphs here about specific beliefs of mine, but really: Ally is a verb, intersections matter, capitalism is broken and cannot be fixed. I understand the difference between a bolt of linen and four shirts and believe that labor is entitled to all it creates. My class is ‘petit bourgeois,’ as I have seized the means of my own production.

If you screw up and you say something that hurts someone, say you’re sorry, and try not to do it again. It’s not that hard! Don’t tell them they shouldn’t be hurt. This goes double if it was an accident. “I didn’t know that was offensive, I’m sorry for hurting you. I’ll be more mindful in the future.” See how easy that is? That’s how we do in this house.

I’m bisexual, non-binary, disabled, neurodiverse, and don’t want pity or to hear how sorry you are for either of those last two things. Being autistic is just fine, and it didn’t happen because I was vaccinated. I have PTSD and GAD, and I live with both of them. They’re terrible roommates but I’ve got used to them. I’d like it if people would just stop throwing shade at the invisibly ill when we park in handicapped spots – I’m missing part of my spine, for fuck’s sake – and playing Oppression Olympics will get you stern looks and no dessert.

In this house we do nerd culture, there are no fake geek girls, and we understand that women invented masked superheroes (The Scarlet Pimpernel), science fiction (Mary Shelley), the modern novel (Jane Austen), dystopia fiction (Mary Shelley again), computer programming (Ada Lovelace and the ENIACs, which is my new band name), and got Star Trek on the air (Lucille Ball).

If I didn’t cover it, assume if it involves being a jerk or punching down, I’m not okay with it.

If it involves dogs being adorable, otters, mermaids, spiders, most of the major fandoms Tumblr loves (I can’t get into Supernatural, sorry, I tried), or people doing awesome shit, I am definitely here for that.

I am a Social Justice Paladin. I tank trolls. I used to think I was a Rogue, but, yeah, I tank trolls. 

About six months ago, someone started calling me the ‘Non-Binary Regent of Summer,’ and I ran with that like an Olympic torch. Yep. It me. 

@hypoallergeniccuddles thinks I’m secretly Mrs. Weasley.

That may be true also. If so, please remember what happens when you fuck with Molly’s children.

Welcome. Supper is at seven, the Wizard Home will make a room for you if you need it.

This post will be repeated a few times over the next few days so everyone sees it. <3 Thanks. I’m glad you’re all here.

[pizzazo]

So I'm stuck in this chem lab for an hour...

So here's my hot take on wolf 359 as d&d classes:

Doug: Sorcerer, Wild Magic.

Minkowski: Fighter, Champion

Hilbert: Wizard, Conjuration

Hera: Wizard, Abjuration ?

Lovelace: Paladin, Vengeance

Maxwell: Rogue, Arcane Trickster

Jacobi: Warlock, Fiend

Kepler: Paladin, Conquest

Cutter: Warlock, Hexblade

Rachel: Warlock, Great Old One

Rittman: Barbarian, Berserker

Pryce: Wizard, Necromancer

Bonus:

Bob: Level one Bard

[ailinu]

Isabel Lovelace is my favorite vengeance paladin.

[magical-awesome-kid]

Voltron and Eevee Evolutions

So I saw some pictures floating around with the Paladins and various pokemon, and I wanted to point out who would have what evolutions of my faves - the eevees.

So IDEA: Voltron lands on a planet that’s not got intelligent life or whatever to get some supplies that are naturally occurring there (think like crystals or water or something) but OF COURSE Lance is like TIME TO EXPLORE and grabs Hunk and Pidge and runs off. Keith goes with because SOMEONE has to keep an eye on these nerds and Shiro’s busy being responsible.

So they are running around and Lance SWEARS these trees almost look like Earth but there’s something odd about the berries and food stuff there. Hunk says nothing is naturally occurring on Earth exactly but both Lance and Pidge SWEAR they look familiar.

Then a bushel shakes and the four FREAK OUT but Keith is the one who mans up with a sword and pushes it aside.

And Lance drops his gun and SHREIKS because HOLY SHIT THOSE ARE EEVEES FROM POKEMON.

Keith then gets #disapointedlooks from the gang when he says the only pokemon he knows is Pikachu but DOESN’T MATTER there’s EEVEES for them all! So the balls are very cute and friendly and bring them berries and they bond. When Shiro calls them back to the ship, they leave their friends behind and rocket off into space.

Or so they think.

Turns out, the Eevees stowed away and are found long after they left the planet and, of all things, start EVOLVING when they bond with various people on the ship.

Teams are as follows:

Lance has two because he’s just so friendly and needs hugs, named Enrique and Empress. Enrique evolves to Glaceon and Empress to Vaporeon

Keith has, of course, a Flameon named Max

Hunk has an energetic Jolteon by the name of Ulani

Pidge’s badass Leafeon is Ada

Shiro’s Akira is an Espeon

Allura has an Umbreon she just calls Umbreon

Coran has this ADORABLE Sylveon named Fala

(Reasons below)

So, as mentioned, they begin evolving with bonding time and under various situations with their “trainers.” The also got names that have a lot of meaning to each person (mostly names that remind the team of home or represent some aspect of their personality)

Lance has the first evolution because he spends the most time with his eevees. He’s got two that follow him everywhere named Enrique and Empress because they are FLY but eventually they sneak into the cockpit during a mission and drop out of Blue on an icy planet. Lance takes a hit for them and Blue ends up glowing and both evolve, Enrique to Glaceon and Empress to Vapoureon. Lance, once healed, is PROUD (and rubs it in Keith’s face)

Pidge is next. As it is, her little Eevee is a sweetie that just loves to follow her around and is always curious about everything. Ada, named after Ada Lovelace a pioneer in computer science, finds herself on Olkarion. As a joke, Pidge slips a headband over Ada, but not only is Ada able to summon and control a plant-based machine but she also evolves to Leafeon

Keith doesn’t really know what to do with the little creature that’s following him. At first, he tries to push his Eevee onto Lance or Hunk who have more skills at this but he keeps sneaking off into Keith’s bed and demands snuggles. Keith eventually relents when he realizes the creature is as stubborn as him. Eventually they DO bond and Keith names his Max as it’s the first vaguely normal name that pops in his head. Max ends up evolving very randomly. He sneaks off one day and just comes back a Flameon. They were on a desert planet at the time, and Lance jokes that “at least Max didn’t end up in a hut in the middle of the desert”

Hunk evolution! He’s not really sure what his eevee is going to turn into but he loves her all the same. She’s a ball of energy, always light on her feet and willing to help with whatever Hunk’s working on - whether that be engineering work, cooking, or hunting down good ingredients. Ulani (Polynesian meaning cheerful and lighthearted) is a spark of life, so when she grabs a loose wire trying to stop it from zapping Hunk, instead of getting injured it triggers the evolution to Jolteon.

Shiro isn’t all for the pet thing but he caves SO HARD when he realizes pokemon. Akira (”clear” like having a clear mind) follows him everywhere, always vigilant and a mother hen to all the other Eevees, even as some evolve and become larger/more powerful then him. He’s also a GODSEND when Shiro’s having panic attacks or flashbacks, always seeming to feel ways to help him out. Then, when Shiro disappears in S2 finale, Akira goes bounding for the chair and disappears. Twenty-four hours later, an Espeon bounds through the castle and drags all the others to the cockpit where an injured but alive Shiro is. Shiro later reveals that Zarkon and he were trapped in a psychic battle ground and, with the help of Akira who arrived evolved, they managed to take him down.

Coran even gets in on the fun! He LOVES these little creatures - they definitely didn’t exist back in the day - and Fala (Altean name of his mother meaning beautiful) is always up for fun. The two absolutely ADORE one another and Fala learns Fairy Wing somehow? Also, Fala is the only one who willingly eats Coran’s food and enjoys it. It’s no surprise, then, that Fala eventually evolves to Slyveon.

Allura is the last to evolve. Her Eevee, simply called Eevee because she calls her mice “the mice” and all, is the most docile of the bunch. He is often seen at the princess’ side with the mice at his back and ready for action. In the wee hours when Allura is unable to sleep, though, she can always find her Eevee awake and there for her. It is on one of these nights that they receive a frantic distress call and run to a nearby planet and Allura is forced onto the ground when a druid threatens the people. Eevee is with her and, when the moon shines on it’s back, it leaps into action in a burst of light. Umbreon attacks with ferocity, highly resistant to the psychic energy that Allura struggled to counter. The two together defeat the druid in a combination of untrained magic and Shadow Ball blast.

[sunlit-capybara]

Haven’t had time to write anything soooo....

Have some random Voltron head canons, heavy on the Garrison trio:

Shiro

Shiro's gallows humor extends to his taste in movies. One Friday he and Matt watched "Fargo" and Shiro thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen and laughed even during the scenes that are sort-of funny but mostly disturbing. He laughed really hard at the woodchipper reveal and it actually kind of scared Matt.

Shiro does everything very intensely. Including watching TV shows. Over spring break once he marathoned The Sopranos. For the next two weeks whenever one of his friends complained about a classmate or an instructor at the Garrison he would casually suggest having them whacked as a solution.

He continued this until Matt took him aside for a conversation about how it was inappropriate and freaking his friends out.

(more below the cut)

Hunk

(I hate how season 2 has Hunk mention food at least twice per episode and how in season 1 there's a fair number of big guy/fat gags and these head canons are how I make that feel less icky to myself).

The original Yellow Paladin was tiny. Like, smaller than Pidge. Her bayard was still a shoulder cannon, but with a much slimmer design -- but she wouldn't have been able to lift it if she weren't ridiculously strong for her size. I just love the idea of the second-biggest, most heavily armored lion having this tiny little paladin who still managed to be the team's big gun.

(And that's why the zip lines wouldn't hold Hunk in season 1 -- they were calibrated for this tiny tiny little person and were unprepared for our wonderful sunshine boy's bulk.

Hunk def. has an anxiety disorder and cooking/thinking about cooking techniques is one of his coping mechanisms. Hence the "What's everyone thinking about?" "Zarkon" "Calzones" interaction in s2e11. He's trying to think of ways to make his calzones better so that he doesn't have to think about Zarkon and the fight coming up. (He thinks he found some sort of Olkari dough that he can put around the space goo to make a pretty decent calzone and would like to try that before they blast off and potentially die.)

Hunk's family ate dinner together every night. It didn't matter how busy they were, or if it meant they had to wait until 8 or 9 sometimes to eat, they always waited until the whole family was home before having dinner. Hunk took over cooking dinner three times a week when he was twelve. His first meals were...not great. But his parents made such a big deal of how he was doing such a good job, and how it was a huge help to them, and how one of the best ways you can show your love is making sure your family is fed, that he stuck with it. By the time he left for the Garrison he was doing almost all the cooking.

(The reason he was thinking of sushi during the bonding exercise? Whenever there was something to celebrate in his family, his parents took all the kids out for sushi. Birthdays, good report cards, when Hunk got accepted to the Garrison -- sushi dinner. Those dinners are some of his favorite family memories because everyone was happy and having fun and enjoying themselves. And he can't help thinking of the fantastic dinner he's going to have with his family when he gets back to Earth and is reunited with his family.)

Hunk is the reason all the paladins (and Coran and Allura) eat at least one meal together every day/quintant. At first it was hard to round everyone up, and Keith and Shiro kept wandering off or skipping meals. Finally Hunk got fed up with it and tracked Shiro down and they Had A Conversation. (The conversation boiled down to Hunk telling Shiro "We are going to eat together because that is what families do and we're a family now." Shiro was touched enough that he even convinced Keith to actually sit and eat with the rest of them.)

After the Garrison trio had their disastrous simulator experience in s1e1, the whole class turned on that kid who called out Hunk for throwing up. "Dude, you can say whatever you want about Lance and Pidge, but do not come for Hunk like that." "But he threw up in the --" "Don't care, Hunk can do no wrong." Because everyone loves Hunk and three-fourths of the class have drunkenly admitted they would happily take a bullet for him. The other fourth is lying because they would too.

Pidge

Pidge might admire and respect Alan Turing, but Ada Lovelace. Is. Her. Idol. Pidge occasionally has imagined conversations with Ada when she's working through a particularly difficult problem. She will gush about Ada Lovelace endlessly if you bring the woman up. Coran has heard about Ada Lovelace multiple times.

(Because she loves Ada so much, Pidge has a fiery hatred of Lord Byron. She's never even read anything he wrote, she just despises him for running off to Greece and dying and leaving Ada and her mom all alone).

(Also because of her love of Ada Lovelace, Pidge knows a weird amount about how Regency and early Victorian England society functioned. She will never admit that she actually really likes the dress styles and would kill for Ada’s hairpiece in that one famous portrait).

(Another favorite? Rosalind Franklin. Hunk credited Watson and Crick with discovering DNA in front of Pidge e x a c t l y. o n c e. Never again.)

During one of their conversations Coran asked Pidge to explain how rain worked. When Pidge asked why, Coran said Lance had mentioned missing it. So Pidge programmed a white noise generator to mimic a thunderstorm for Lance.

Lance

Lance refuses to disclose whether he's a cat or dog person because he's convinced if he chose dogs cats would know (and vice versa) and he doesn't want to make any pets sad by saying they're not his favorite.

As a kid, Lance loved heroic stories about knights and chivalry and all that. He knows all the stories -- King Arthur, Charlemagne, El Cid. He totally nicknamed himself Lance after Sir Lancelot.

One of the reasons he flirts so much is because he remembers overhearing his older sisters talk about how they felt unattractive and insecure about their looks and casually putting themselves down. He hated knowing people he cared about felt so bad about themselves even if they projected confidence all the time. So he started randomly telling them how beautiful they were -- and even though they laughed it off they still smiled. He started telling the girls in his classes how they were pretty and smart, and gradually that led to flirting with every girl he knew.

Keith

Keith did not know about ChapStick. During that night in the shack in s1e1 Lance asked if Keith had any ChapStick he could use and Keith just looked at him blankly.

Lance: "Wait, you don't use ChapStick? You live in the desert! What do you do when your lips feel dry?" Keith: *shrug* "Lick 'em." Lance: "LICK EM? You LICK EM?? You know that makes it worse right??" Luckily Pidge had some in her backpack and passed it to Lance, who used it before shoving it in Keith's hand. "I can't believe my nemesis doesn't even use ChapStick," he muttered before wandering to the other side of the room and going to sleep.

Keith is now addicted to ChapStick. The stuff he borrowed/stole from Pidge is cherry-flavored and he loved it. Space ChapStick just doesn’t compare

[bijoumikhawal]

W359 Voltron au Hilbert's the green paladin, obvs I think Eiffel's either the blue paladin or the yellow paladin Minkowski's def the black paladin Lovelace is the red paladin I got no fuckin clue about Hera, she's not the yellow paladin I don't think, so blue maybe, but she could be the green paladin easily? Also I really want part Galra Hilbert. I don't know why but I dooooooo (Lovelace is maybe half alien??? Def more than Hilbert cuz with him it's more like "my great gran visited another solar system and decided to get freaky while she was there"