#MENTIONED SEXYMEN - Bill

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

wait wait are the twins moving, can I feel, can I can I can I

*reaches for DT* :3

//TW: blood smears/stains/splatters, and weapons under the cut. Carry on! <3//:

...oh lord: what a mess...

Yeah...it's best you don't touch a Sexyman, especially if they're pregnant. Then you'll have a dashboard of them coming to kill you greet you with their presence violently. Anon...what the hell went through your brain to think you could get away with this?

You went against three demons, one of them as a father-to-be, two guys with literal axes, a shapeshifter with strong survival instincts whose already protective enough as is, and a teenage girl who may look like she wouldn't hurt a fly, but has experience with a softball bat. That was not a smart move.

------------------------------//BONUS//---------------------------------

"DAD! Dad, dad, dad, dad, I did it! I did it!"

She seemed to be eager...but she was freaking out internally. How were momma and daddy gonna react? Then again...she would never tell them this happened. She didn't kill the anon: she was too scared for that! Alastor, Bill, DT, Ghirahim, Once and Mordecai took care of it...yet adrenaline filled her. Being non confrontational meant that she never started fights...but she was glad she and her found family finished this one.

"Yes you did, Little Miss Sunshine! I've never been prouder...but let's never do that again, alright?"

"That's fine with me!"

"Very good: now get yourself cleaned up, honey. I'll take care of the body."

"YOU ARE NOT EATING THE ANON!"

"...damnit."

So much for a good meal...

[fox-guardian]

As funny as it would be for there to be another sans vs reigen standoff, I Do think it'd be really funny if we got Cecil to go all the way. Especially since, in my opinion, he stands the test of time and has come all the way around to the new brand of sexyman.

Like, yes, he was, in WTNV's early days, given the twink treatment. Dapper style, youthful features, etc. But he was never like that canonically.

He dresses horrifically (affectionate), he's canonically an older man even in the podcast's beginning, and he is and never has been a twink (he is neither thin, nor fat. Implying at thinnest, straight-sized, and at biggest, mid-sized).

Obviously this doesn't change the fandom's sexymanification of him, but it does lead him to fit more nicely into the sexyman that the aging tumblr userbase has recently developed:

The Babygirl.

Listen. Apart from the above, he can't cook for shit, he's petty, he's written Jaws slash fic and had his intern beta read it, he is CANONICALLY a dilf, he grows his own weed, he loves his husband So Goddamn Much, he won't shut up about how much he carnally desires said husband, he mentions his kinks on the fucking air, AND HE EVEN HAS A FUCKING TUMBLR.

I think he fits the bill for the pathetic older queer man that tumblr has grown so very Normal about. He is so very powerful. And after ten years of being this way I think he should be allowed to go all the way to the top. I think he's earned it.

Sure, if he doesn't stand a chance in the final four, I'll accept sans vs reigen. But if it gets close enough, say, above 40%.... Maybe we could push to go all the way. For the bit. For one of the original sexymen of tumblr history. For our dear gay uncle, Cecil Gershwin Palmer. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[marysunshine23]

The "Tumblr Sexyman" Formula - It's Not What You Think

I know it sounds click-baity but hear me out.

Noun Tumblr sexyman (plural Tumblr sexymen) (fandom slang) A male fictional character (often conventionally unattractive or non-human) with a particularly devoted fanbase on Tumblr.

So, what makes a Tumblr sexyman? Is it the suit? Is it the height? Is it the face?

Nope.

TL;DR - It's confidence and sass.

Some people might be confused. Think of any tumblr sexyman and why you might like him. And you don't have to think about it very hard. So I'm gonna break down the ones I know/know enough about.

The Onceler

Ah, yes, the one who started it all; The Onceler. With his boyish face, his hipster fashion, his guitar, and his thirst for fame, he was an unintentionally sexy guy. Dreamworks did not plan this. At all. So what about this gangly, clumsy, people-pleasing, one-hit-wonder of a man child is attractive? Well, first and foremost, he makes it clear that he is confident that he has a good idea and that it can be accomplished. He has a plan, he knows how to execute it, he just needs some attention. And when people give him flack for this "stupid idea", he rolls his eyes and makes a snide remark. He's not afraid to tell people where to shove it (except his family, but that's an abusive relationship for you.)

It just so happens that he's got a boyish face and a nice sense of style. But what makes him attractive is his confidence and sass. Next!

Bill Cipher

Now how can a literal animate symbol of the illuminaty be sexy? Well, he's basically a God, so of course he's confident that if the stars align in his favor, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. And when he's underestimated, he's got loads of backhanded compliments and off-handed remarks to make people feel dumb. Confidence and sass.

Sans

Now we have the man, or rather skeleton, that broke the suit rule; Sans. Talk to this guy for more than five minutes and you see he basically lives and breathes sass. And whenever you start getting violent, he makes sure you know that he is a threat. He doesn't even have to do much to show that despite only having 1 HP, you do not want to cross this little skelly-man. Between the jokes and passive-aggressive warnings to deter you from hurting Papyrus, there's no doubt that Sans is full of sass and confidence.

Komaeda Nagito

Komaeda Nagito; love him or hate him, he's almost the poster child of tumblr sexymen. His sass and confidence are so apparent that it becomes annoying despite the confidence not necessarily being within himself. His confidence in his luck and hope drive him to be the most loved, hated, and feared character in the Danganronpa series. His sass often comes in the form of backhanded comments that he "doesn't realize" aren't compliments. Not to mention the fact that despite his attitude and self-deprecating talk, everyone knows he's a threat. Sass and confidence in it's most unusual form.

Alastor

Alastor, one of the revivals of the suit and tie schtick. There's no question of his confidence; when one is an overlord, you can't help but exude it. Not to mention the fact that he doesn't even attempt to be subtle about his sass like some of the other men in this post. If he thinks something is stupid, he'll tell you in the most eloquent and flavorful way he can; all while avoiding profanities. There's no doubt that he is basically a copy-paste example of the traditional sassy and confident sexyman.

Angel Dust

I know my previous example was from Hazbin but there's a reason that Angel Dust is here. Angel is an example of a sexyman who leans into a femboy. Angel is known for wearing the stereotypical suit top in a way that makes him appear to have breasts. He forgoes the suit pants for a mini-skirt and sexyboots, and often wears drag. He's sexy and he knows it. He's the gay friend girls wish they could date, he's the gay friend that will tell that creep at the bar to fuck off and leave you alone, and he's 100% the gay friend you make out with when you're drunk. Angel Dust isn't just a tumblr sexyman, he's what women love about gay men. And that comes with a boat load of sass and confidence.

Jax

The latest entry into the tumblr sexyman gallery, Jax from The Amazing Digital Circus. Next to Nagito and Bill, Jax might be one of the meaner sexymen. He not only cares what others think, he doesn't care much about other people's emotional or physical well-being; and he's vocal about it through snide remarks and backhanded compliments. He is who he is and that isn't about to change. And he brings in that tall and skinny stereotype. Though it might become a stereotype that Michael Kovach needs to voice them as well; because like Angel Dust, Michael sells that confidence and sass.

Conclusion

Tumblr Sexymen aren't necessarily sexy for their appearance, the definition even states that very often they're not conventionally attractive. What we're attracted to is someone who is confident enough to tell people off and sassy enough to do it in a way that is funny. Humans find confidence attractive, and we often will overlook appearance if someone is funny enough. Sass is playful, and it makes us feel at ease. These sexymen are confident enough to develop power, but playful enough to not feel like an immediate threat. None of the tumblr sexymen are the type of guy you'd run into on the street; some of them are charismatic, some of them are kinda dorky, but all of them are people you'd want on your side during a fight. If they care about you, they'll stand up for you and be able to knock down the opponent a couple pegs.

[therealmidasproject]

MIDAS Project OC Rules

I would like to note here at the top that these are the same rules that we gave our players during character creation and what we as GMs also abide by.

No God Modding. This means characters with powers such as Bill Cipher's reality bending. Loopholes are discussed in-house with PCs and are not applicable in OC content. (tldr, no loopholes.) Each character is only allowed one Tumblr Sexyman, so it's easier to ensure fair participation, but in order to preserve the experience overall, there is no god-modding allowed in character powers.

No Murder Hobos. A murder hobo is a term popularized in Tabletop RPG [ttrpg] spaces about characters who choose—above all other options—to solve their problems with killing and hurting NPCs and other PCs. Especially in tandem with "insane" characters, it's disrespectful and insensitive. Most TTRPG Dungeon Masters, when seeing a murder hobo in the making will actively either bar you from participating, ban you from their table, or both. No one likes roleplaying with someone who solves all their problems with murder.

Character assignments do not have to be on the sexypedia but they must meet at least 10 tropes as listed here.

We've gotten this question in the past so I'll mention it here as well, the gender of the character doesn't not affect the possibility of assignment. Tumblr Sexymen' (for you younger tumblr users especially) is specifically a term used to describe characters who are surprisingly loved by Tumblr or the rest of the internet, especially romantically. It was popularized by the site-wide fascination with characters such as The Onceler [The Lorax (2012)], Jack Frost [Rise of The Guardians], Sans [Undertale], and Bill Cipher [Gravity Falls]. It has no relation to gender, sexuality, or any other defining aspects, but it can be designated with Sexyman OR Sexywoman depending on personal preference. Most older Tumblr users will use the term Sexyman indiscriminately.

If you create a character with an assignment that is not on the wiki please DO NOT make suggestions or edits to the wiki.

[tragedyboycentral]

So I'm copy-pasting my own essay I added onto another post to post on my own. But the amount of people out here who truly DON'T understand the historical importance of WTNV, from a queer media perspective, boggles me.

I want you to imagine the year is 2012. Gay marriage won't be legalized for another three years. A podcast starts to make the rounds, your friends are watching it so you think sure. Let's check it out. And then you here the narrator start to talk about the new scientist in town. And right there, in the first introduction, they make it clear. "And I fell in love instantly." There was no building up, no hiding it, no queerbaiting. Right there in the first episode they told us that Cecil was Gay and in love with Another Man.

And if you weren't there then there arent WORDS for how ground breaking this was at the time. How amazing it was for the tumblrbase, consisting largely of closeted/ discovering pre-teens, to hear this. The finale of Legend of Korra, where two women holding hands was GROUND BREAKING?? That wouldn't happen for another two years. This wasn't an everyday occurrence and hell, I would argue even today, a whole decade later, there still aren't many pieces of media doing it like wtnv was (and still is).

Not to mention in horror media, queerness is traditionally used to notate something scary. The scary lesbian woo'ing another woman and killing her was a horror trope for a reason. In media queerness is used as almost exclusively as a corrupting, disgusting, force. But Cecil's queerness wasn't just loved, it was celebrated within the media itself. His love interest was a 'normal' guy from out of town but Cecil's oddities are why Carlos loves him. Every aspect of Night Vale is odd, is queer, and that queerness becomes acceptably mundane in a beautiful way. The entirety of Night Vale of a concept was taking all that was Queer and celebrating it.

And in greater terms of media, Welcome To Night Vale is what single-handedly changed podcasts from 'the thing your dad listened to' to something interesting and accessible to young people. It practically introduced the concept of narrative podcasts and is still the roadmap many of them use today. Massive media like The Magnus Archives, The Penumbra Podcast, and hell I would argue even the popularity of other media like TAZ? It only happened because WTNV brought not just an audience to podcasts, but a QUEER audience. A queer audience who, once they were old enough, only needed a mic and cheap editing software to start making their own queer content just as fast as they were consuming everyone else's.

But back to 'sexyman'. Again. Tumblr's base is 12-14. And we're given not just the first gay character most of us have ever seen. But a dutiful boyfriend who loves his husband and his cat. Who gets into silly little squabbles with his silly little nemesis. Who's CHARMING. Of course the internet fell in love. But beyond his personality. He had the Homestuck/ Bill Cipher/ Wheatley bonus of not having a canon design. People keep mentioning he's faceless as a weird element but that was the DRAW back then. It was an INTEGRAL part of the appeal. Sure, the basic 'blonde white twink' design was/is the most popular- it was 2012- but some people got creative. No matter what your attraction was too, you could picture him looking like that. He's a good boyfriend AND he's hot?

Sure, The Onceler was insanely popular and so was Sans. But people were either lusting for them or Hated them. But Cecil?? Cecil was our hot gay mentor. He was the closest thing a lot of younger queers on tumblr had for an adult queer role model. He was the basis for so other tumblr sexymen.

TLDR: "Did wtnv have cultural impact?" jesus fuck yes it did.

[murky-tannin]

People are bringing up how Tumblr Sexymen are historically Not Sexy but still viewed as such by Tumblr. I do find it prudent to mention that technically Scar falls under this category considering his canon look is a minecraft block man. Meaning by definition he fits in amongst sexymen like Wheatley or Bill Cipher because the fanart is what sexyfies him (unless square tits are your thing ig). That being said? Vote Joe Hills

[alicewoodward]

So @awigglycultist has been running a StarCanWrecked sexyman poll (and they’re doing great at it, you should go vote in the polls if you haven’t yet but maybe read this first). But looking at the way that things have shaken up, it does not seem like some of you know what a tumblr sexyman is. That or you’re just voting based on who you like most, but I can’t do anything for that, so we will pretend that the votes have just happened the way they have bcs people don’t know what a sexyman is

So let’s talk about it

A tumblr sexyman is traditionally defined as a highly popular (pretty much exclusively male) character in tumblr communities. This often means they are popular to the point of recognition beyond the fandom they originated from, but we’re going to ignore that bit since this is for starcanwrecked stuff specifically. Some sexymen you may recognize are Bill Cipher, Nagito Komaeda, Wheatley from Portal, Sans Undertale, the Onceler, Purple Guy, and Loki

But there are common traits to a sexyman. Let’s walk through them

Sexymen are often morally gray to evil. The closest to a heroic sexyman there have been to my knowledge is Sans and Reigen. idk anything about Mob Psycho, but with Sans, he still falls within the label bcs he is a potential antagonist

Regardless of specific morality, they have a trickster type role. They mess with others, often using their knowledge and power that others don’t have for that purpose. An aura of mystery is also acceptable, but the trickster archetype is much more likely to gain popularity as a sexyman

They are often not human. I saw someone arguing against Ezekiel bcs he isn’t a human, but tbh that should have been a point in his favor. Characters like Bill Cipher and Wheatley are visibly nonhuman, and people would go nuts making humanized versions of them. It was part of the whole community there

They are well dressed. They’re often dresses in suits and bowties are preferred. With the last point about them giving human versions, they almost always are humanized as wearing a suit and tie

Now this is the part people don’t like the be reminded of. But part of the reason the tumblr sexyman term exists is addressing how fandoms have a tendency to favor tall, white, skinny, men over any other type of character. There are some exceptions to this, like Komaeda, but people are quick to forget lightskinned anime characters are Asian. The nonhuman ones are always humanized as skinny white guys. When Alex Hirsch joked human!Bill would be big and triangle shaped, people lost their minds bcs he wouldn’t be skinny. You know why GLaDOS was never given the sexyman treatment the way Wheatley was? She’s a woman. You know why Dr. Facilier never rose to that status despite fitting every other trait I’ve mentioned? He’s a Black man, and fandom racism always wins out. It’s not impossible for someone that isn’t a skinny white guy to be a sexyman, but it sure is rare

Anyway, that’s about the gist of it. The conclusion here is that Ezekiel, Wiley, or one of the Lords in Black should probably win this just based on the traditional tumblr sexyman recipe. But hopefully this brief tumblr history lesson will help people make more informed votes

[cryptidcalling]

There’s definitely a new breed of Tumblr/TikTok “man” that people are wrongly identifying as a Tumblr Sexyman. Spamton Deltarune, Sun/Moon FNAF, Bruno Madrigal, these are NOT Sexymen!! These are SCRUNGLYmen!! People think they’re hot, yes, but the fact that they’re kinda ratty and dirty and have a weird distinctly un-hot energy IS the appeal. Obviously many of the Tumblr Sexymen are really odd. Bill Cipher, Tony the Clock, etc are strange non-humans too, but when people discussed them in fandom spaces it was almost exclusively centering their human-AU hot skinny selves. This is most obvious in the inclusion of Onceler and Alastor, who were the ideal Sexyman without needing the extra step of humanization. The only one who truly breaks the mold is Sans. He was obviously changed in fandom to be overly hot and had skinny anime boy fanart made of him, but not to the overwhelming extent that the rest did. Personally, I believe Sans was a sort of transition stage. Somewhere between a Sexyman and a Scrunglyman. To be entirely truthful, I think the age of Sexymen as they were have passed, and Scrunglymen will become the new phenomenon. TikTok has had a major influence on this, I think, because as many people have pointed out TikTok has a lot of similarities to Tumblr in terms of humor and content. The stitch and duet features act in a similar way to reblogging things on Tumblr, with people sharing the OG video and adding their own thoughts to their followers. It even has a public ask feature. It might be a stretch to officially dub Spamton, Sun, and Bruno as TikTok Scrunglymen, because their influence is very clear on Tumblr as well, but it’s something I feel the need to mention.

[snalsupremacy]

2022 events (complete!)

- Disclaimer: These are not all of the events that happened in 2022, just the ones I happen to come across.

-Circus band plays megalovania to the Pope -Tumbrl/IOS mega ban causes tumbrl to create a new language -Tumbrl has become too profitable, unlike CW who hasn't been profitable since 2006 -Italian senate zoom bombed with r34 of Tifa from Final Fantasy -Microsoft bought Activation Blizzard for 70 billion -10th Capybara long bath championship (this isnt much of an notable event but I just found out it exists and now so do you) -Netflix stocks plummet -TOTALLY SPIES REBOOT??? -Green M&M drama GUYS ITS NOT EVEN FEB CAN U CALL DOWN - GREEN M&M DRAMA WAS A DISTRACTION TO CHILD LABOR LAWSUIT??!? -Percy Jackson Disney+ series -Did the cryptoland thing happen this year?

-Maus school ban in Tennessee -The yassification of Pinocchio -Everybody is into Wordle -TikToker getting rejected by prestigious college? Scandalous! -Famous Brazilian podcaster publicly supports the foundation of a Nazi political party - Kirby car. Carby. - Palmeiras ainda não tem mundial :( -super bowl or whatever. Palmeiras was so close I could feel it. -Mitski's Laurell Hell on top 5 bill board??? -Incredibly I made it this far without even mentioning that Russia is trying to invade Ukraine -Petrópolis (RJ, Brazil) flods for the second time, killing hundreds -New yuri on ice official art in 2022, I don't even know what to say -Ukraine is getting evacuated -Kanye West insta breakdown -Arthur ends -Monster High reboot Draculaura's design slaps!! -Russia invades Ukraine -Texas anti-trans law now investigating trans kids' families for child abuse -ITS ME BOY IM THE PS5 SPEAKING TO YOU INSIDE YOUR BRAIN -Cheese belly weed cat started pokemon gen 9 or smth

-Live Slug reaction - THEY ADDED VIKTOR'S RING SHAKING PISSING CRYING -Florida's don't say gay bill - Disney supports don't say gay bill but Disney workers protest and now Disney doesn't -Parents mad at turning red for showing teenage girls periods, which they have, and twitter mad at them showing cringe drawings, which they also have -Purim and Patrick's Day coincidence which leads to a lot of drunks -DROP THE CAR BATTERY -Everybody watching the 8 hour victorius video (??) -Situation in Ukraine keeps getting worse - Gas price skyrocket now that countries is refusing to import russian gasoline -Jaiden animations comes out as aroace -Evergiven anniversary celebration by having the same ship cross the canal -US politician died? -WILL SMITH SLAPS THE SHIT OUT OF CHRIS ROCK ON THE OSCARS also many outfits slapped I am looking (respecfully) at zendaya and timothee chalamet

-Happy april fool's day! Tumbrl did a hole ass click-a-thon with bunch of crabs and even an small text rpg, cool! Also Brick head tumbrl sexymen?? -what happens in April 3rd??? Why is danny phantom everywhere??? Also grammys -R/Place becomes the first virtual active warzone between fandoms. fun! -Sonic 2 hell..... yes (also sonic 3? cant wait!) - LAPD sending in like 100 police men for literally 4 environmental scientists peacefully protesting -Namona re-newed by netflix me thinks - Scart finally gets his accorn as a goodbye to BlueSky studios - Elon Musk tries to buy twitter -Ramadan Easter Pessach combo -Rihanna's boyfrend arrested -Tumbrl blaze drops -MISHA COLLINS COMES OUT AS BISEXUAL -Johnny Depp and Amber Heard lawsuit -Netflix reveals that they lost like 200,00 + 700,00 (from russia) subscribers and expect to lose more -OMG IT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING MISHA COMES OUT AS STR8 💀💀 -Elon Musk BUYS TWITTER - Oh yeah Morbius - James Corden leaves late late show lets goooo

- GOP draft leak of trying to overrule roe v wade drops while Met Gala is happening -Everyone into Dracula daily -Eurovision week! Veggies and Pussy will be for ever in my heart. - NEW MCR SONG NEW MCR SONG NEW MCR SONG NEW MCR SON -UK GETS SECOND PLACE??? WTF???? Ukraine wins, NOT LATVIA???? WTF???? - Finland joins NATO - holy shit. Avatar 2. its out, its finally out -Still not fully convinced but hxh might return?? -OH OH OH ITS NOT FAKE ITS NOT FAKE HXH WILL RETURN HOLY SHIT SHAKING AND CRYING RN HXH IS COMING BACK GAHSGSAJ -Happy 3rd anniversary to Promare, best t4t anime couple i will not elaborate -Texas elementary school shooting, 21 dead -Guy throws cake at mona lisa - BTS meets with Joe Biden at the White House??? -Pokemon V&S legendary drop

-Back by unpopular demand: morbius in theaters -Berserk is back -Gravity Falls 10 year anniversary! as a present we got the full we'll meet again song and SO MUCH shade from talks alex had about censorship issues -California ruled that in some situations bees can be considered fish so that it can be protected under the endangered species law -That AI machine that can generate images (DALL-E) -Internet Explorer shuts down -Pikachu man ad nightmare fuel - 3 NEW ATLA MOVIES COMING OUT LETS GO -Elon Musk getting sued or smth -Overruled Roe v Wade - Oslo shooting at LGBT club kills 2 and harms 21 more - Technoblade dies of cancer at 23

- Tributes to Technoblade continue such as other streamers and Minecraft itself - Shooting at 4th of July parade at Chicago, 6 dead - Boris Johnson +50-ish ministers resign in like 48 hours - Kazuki Takahashi, creator of Yu Gi Oh, found dead at a beach - Shinzo Abe, Japan's previous prime minister is assassinated during public speech -Argentinian Economy Minister resigns - Luis Echeverria, Mexican ex-president, dies at 100 - Elon Musk pulls out on Twitter deal and Twitter sues him for that -Georgia Guidestones destroyed - José Eduardo dos Santos, Angolan ex-president, dies at 79 - Sri Lanka's economy collapses, protester storm Gotabaya Rajapaksa's (President) house, as well as setting fire to Ranil Wickremesinghe's (PM) house - Finally good news! The James Webb telescope released some images and they are absolutely BEAUTIFUL! - Ivana Trump (Trump's ex wife) dies of yet unknown causes (Update: I think she fell off stairs?) - The Looney Tunes social media managers just confirmed Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck are a couple???? - Stray is a cat simulator is think? kinda like the goose thing back in like 2018? -Pink sauce that actually kills people -Start Trek actress nichelle nichols dies at 89

- Shakira may be going to prison for Tax Evasion???? - Jo Soares dies at 84 - One of Trump's houses gets raided by the FBI - Bridget from guilty gear confirmed trans! big w! - Serena Williams retires - Olivia Newton-John  dies at 73 - Fan fiction AO3 OTW tiffany election something along those lines idk i dont read - HBO Max Cartoon Network purge

-Florence Pugh arrives at venice film festival while the rest of the cast for Don't Worry Darling does a press interview (?) -Supernatural trending, 3 dead 11 injured - Chris Pine exposed for being and erotica writer and like 5 other things - Dan and Phil posted a video where multiple things are said but mainly notable female celebrity suggested a threesome which is just so funny - Reigen vs Sans finale of the ultimate tumbrl sexyman election interrupted by the death of Queen Elizabeth II - Sans wins bc of he does. Was there even a questions? How tf did reigen even get that high up?? -TRISHA PAYTAS GIVES BIRTH RIGHT AFTER THE QUEEN DIES - TOBY FOX WRITES REIGEN VS SANS FANFICTION WHAT IS GOING ON - Reigen istg he won babygirl awards, anime twink, sexiest anime girl, the nobel peace prize, Dilf, Milf, -Meghan Markle wears the exact same fit as Diana's for the funeral - Harry Styles may or may not spit in Chris Pine's face - SPAMTON SWEEPSTAKES! DONATE AND MAYBE YOU TOO CAN BE A [BIG SHOT] -Iranian police kills woman (Mahsa Amini) over not properly wearing compulsory hijab, causes street riots -New James Webb picture of Saturn! Those pics re-awakening my love for space - 50 twitch dramas one in a row for like 5 days i don't even have the energy to name them all - Huge drama chess involving alleged cheating via anal beads and playing naked to prove wrong what is going on - Brazilian presidential election is like trying to decide between drowning and being on fire - Adam Levine exposed not only for cheating but being catastrophically bad at flirting - Ghost Files! The ghoul boys are back! - Ned from Try Guys cheats on his wife and is consequently gets kicked out of the team - Tumbrl lifts porn ban

- Sacheen Littlefeather dies - Dream face reveal - Bolsonaro and Lula for 2nd term election - Velma canonically lesbian for new Scooby Doo movie - Smth ab She-Hulk I dont have the energy to understand - Mario movie traler release went just as expected: Jack Black sold it and Chris Pratt... is trying his best - SNL parodies the Try Guys video where they announce Ned's leaving by making fun of everyone but ned :/// -Robbie Coltrane (who plays Hagrid in the Harry Potter movies) dies - Minecraft Mob voting! -SNIFFER WINS WHOOO -AO3 reaches 10M works - Markiplier will start an OnlyFans if he beats Joe Rogan in podcasts - Climate activists throw tomatoe soup in Van Gogh's Sunflower - UK PM resigns in 45 days -Elon Musk buys twitter

-Kit Connor forced to come out as Bisexual - Ryan Reynalds joins tumblr on... -The 2 year anniversary of canon destiel - Dracula Daily ends - I think Tommyinnit os on Tumbrl? The poor soul - Chris Evans chosen by People's magazine as the sexiest man alive, good for him! - American midterm elections -Ash from Pokemon finally becomes the very best that no one ever was - Kevin Conroy, famous va for Batman, dies at 66 - Trump announces he will run for 2024 presidential election - Two missiles (allegedly) from Russia hit Polish borders and kills 2 civilians, may cause call for article 5 of NATO - SpaceX launches another rockets i think? - Shane reveals he's a raylo shipper - Pokemon scarlet and violet releases and surprised! Its full of bugs bc its rushes -Breaking news: Sonic frontiers does NOT suck, its not perfect but MAN that means so much to sonic fans - AO3 down - AO3 back up -Jason David Frank, the original green Power Ranger, dies at 49 -Gerar putting their whole he/they pussy into those concert outfits he's been trending for a week now! - I'm so glad more people are talking about Goncharov (1973) is gaining more popularity its literally my favorite mafia film - Colorado shooting at LGBTQ+ club, 5 dead, suspect had already sent bomb threats a year prior and has charges for kidnapping but no one thought that maybe a guy like that should not own a gun :D -The walking dead just ended but most importantly IT WAS RUNNING THIS ENTIRE TIME??? -ARGENTINA LOST TO SAUDI ARABIA LETS GO BRAZIL WE GOT A CHANCE WE GOT THIS VAI BRASIL 100% JESUS VAMO HEXA - VAI BRASIL VAI RICHARLISON FUCK NEYMAR 2 A 0 2 A 0 VAMO HEXA - Argentina won against Mexico i guess :/ - Martin Scorcese acknowledges Goncharov, ending this crazy week of blogging with a bang -Christine McVie, Singer/songwriter of Fleetwood Mac, dies at 79 -Argentina wins again 🙄

-Ye (Kanye West) ruining his career interview by interview - Smth important politically happened in the US Destiel is trending again -US basketball player released from Russian prison in exchange of arms dealer -BRAZIL SPEAK TO ME -Argentina won AGAIN👹 - Elon Musk booed off stage a comedy show - Markiplied drops the OnlyFans and so many people join the site literally broke - Warrior Nun cancelled -JOJOLANDS RELEASE DATE FEB 17TH CANT COME SOON ENOUGH FEB 17TH CANT COME SOON ENOUGH -Argentina wins the world cup :/// I mean better than frnace ig -Messi pic on insta with the trophy beats the egg in most liked image -IM NOT OK ASH AND PIKACHU ARE LEAVING POKEANIME OMG HE MET WITH BUTTERFREE HE'S SAYING GOODBYE TO HIS OLD PALS OMG NO ONE TALK TO ME -BARBIE MOVIE TRAILER YESSS -The Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery out on netflix, and it's good! also Blanc canonically gay and is dating hugh grant in the movies? - Greta Thunberg twet burned andrew tate so hard, he made a comeback video which revealed his location, leading to his arrest!! ANDREW TATE ARRESTED!! -Last OOTT of the year ToT -Pelé, greatest soccer player of all time, died at 82 -This is not nearly as big as anything else on this list but this is my list and I get to put out whatever I want. SZIN POSTED NEW HYBRID HEROES EPISODE WOOOOOOOOO -Former pope died -Bolsonaro escapes to US i bet he won't come back to Brazil -Oof! what a year! see you all in 2023!

[shoezuki]

i was reading the tumblr sexyman document and when i saw that in technos section it read "white twink" i started crying and now i live in fear that there is gonna be a twinkblade discussion similar to the dilfza discussion

OH I MEANT TO TALK THAT

So ONE thing bout techno thay should be considered i feel when discussing his 'tumblr sexyman' potential is his interpretations in the fandom

Like qualities of a tumblr sexyman? The fact techno is often depicted as a killer, bloody, very Human and often adrogynous/slightly masculine. Thats Very tumblr sexyman vibes.

HOWEVER

One factor of tumblr sexyman i havent seen discussed is the unification within the community/fandom. Specifically in regards to the appearance and interpretation of that character

Either their Canon physical form depicted in media is already Tumblr Sexyman Qualities and therefore all fanart and interpretations rarely stray from it. OR as is the case where the character isnt seen/doesnt have a Human Form, theres an unspoken Agreement between those that are painfully horny for him

The same appearance. Always a white skinny pretty boy thats tall. Maybe some vague monster features like strange coloured eyes or sharp teeth. Think bill cipher's humanization like i think a that shit n theres Always One specific interpretation that comes to mind cus it was Everywhere

As i said earlier, techno is often depicted in such a way: tall. White. Thin. Vaguely monstrous features without going into 'monster fucker' territory.

Or at least that used to be the norm

Recall the surge of panic when techno vaguely mentioned preferring the Pig designs? The sudden influx of people trying new styles, crying over their anime boy interpretations. I saw so much 'shifting' fanart and people cursing techno while learning to draw pigs.

Now if you look through techno art? Theres less of a 'norm'. The artists n fans have taken his single sentence and stretched it so far that now theres Vast variances in Techno Designs, from monstrous to human and back again. So much variety that isnt seen with Tumblr Sexymen cultures. Therefore. Techno doesnt fit the bill.

Basically,

Technoblade inadvertently saved himself/his character from 'tumblr sexymen' treatment by simply saying "pig techno good"

[hccupit]

WHY'S SAM GETTING REMOVED FROM SEXYPEDIA. if anything. he deserves to be on there more than Max.

IDK WHEN I THINK OF SEXYMEN I THINK OF MAX- because you see the most famous sexymen, bill cipher and sans, and you go "max has that whole thing going on, doesn't he..." idk why the mods hate sam, op's fault for not mentioning noir sam on the page, that is really sam's most sexiest moment. /nsx

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

OH SHIT DT JUST WENT INTO LABOUR

SEXYMAN SQUAD YOU GOTTA TAKE DT TO THE HOSPITAL IN TRUE SEXYMAN STYLE

DO IT IT FOR THE TUMBLR BABIES

"THEY WHAT?!"

"WHAT."

"....HUH?"

"NOW????"

"Yes, Ghirahim! We gotta get them to the hospital, NOW!"

"SHIT, I THOUGHT THEY WERE DUE...OH WAIT, IT IS THE FINAL MONTH."

"YOU DUMBASS!"

"Samantha, mouth! And we need to stay collected. We'll take them to the hospital...let's hurry now."

[infinitesnow]

i cannot believe that i have been around this shithole website long enough to see the long and sordid history of Tumblr Sexymen unfold before me in real time but i’m gonna drop a hot take, as someone who was there - yes, wheatley from portal 2 may have gotten the Tumblr Sexyman ball rolling. no, it is not entirely his fault.

like, a good 75/80% of human wheatleys were just varying degrees of stephen merchant, whom, if you have not seen him, is not only skinny as anything but also taller than fucking dwayne the rock johnson, which i didn’t even know until i needed a reference image for this post

(and this is not to discount the many wheatleys i saw back then that chose not to steal anything from merchant’s look, by the way, all of whom were equally valid and wonderfully designed)

but it was one of the only instances of the “turning a non human character into a Tumblr Sexyman” trope that made even a modicum of logical sense in canon context because a major plot point in portal 2 is that one of the main characters is revealed to have originated as a human consciousness uploaded to a computer, meaning that ANY portal robot could have been human (and trust me, all of the robot characters got humanized back then; he may have been the most popular but you will still find PLENTY of human GLaDOS), not to mention that honestly the man looks like he sounds and if being attracted to a featureless robot made people realize they wanted to fuck stephen merchant, or at the very least that they found traits of his appealing/fuckable, as a byproduct of that, i guess it tracks

so, yeah. wheatley is a friendly little dork who starts out as your robot pal, and then he gets put in charge of the facility and turns evil for a while, and some people made him look like his giant gangly voice actor, and frankly folks at the time were pretty cognizant of how anyone got to that point because y'know, portal 2 was a kickass game and we were innocent back then.

and then the onceler showed up and was a giant gangly twink who was in charge of a factory and also evil. and then the warden from superjail showed up and was a giant gangly twink who was in charge of a a jail and also evil. and then the clock from don’t hug me i’m scared showed up and had long fucking puppet limbs so i guess he’s a twink, and he controlled time and also was evil. and then bill cipher showed up and are we starting to understand how things spiraled out of control so fast, the bar to be fuckable on tumblr just plummeted once we realized characters are, or can be made to be, giant and gangly and also evil sometimes

[a-little-ray-of-fantasy]

The moment when in a Twitter poll featuring Internet Sexymen, you see that the big ones like Bill, the Onceler and Sans are in lower ties, with even Wheatley above them, while Dr. Habit reaches the top 3 and everyone is like "Who's this??"

Alastor wasn't even mentioned, but Almond Cookie got in, that's interesting to know! XD

Anyway, Habit got in second place, right between Venomous (who's no slouch in the attractive department) and the OG that is Loki, and I'm proud of him. Still kinda stumped he's regarded as a sexyman, but aside from that, he deserves an award.

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

uh oh Sexyman Squad Sam needs you, time for the emergency group hug

Black Hat you better get your hat ass in there too >:(

Unfortunately, Black Hat had...business to take care of. But if she keeps crying like this, Alastor may need to take her to him...

She wasn't one for touch, especially when she's so angry. Nothing against Once, but she just needed time.

Bill is...Bill. However, he seemed ready to listen. She just wasn't ready at all...

Ghirahim was the one of the only people allowed to touch her hair. So he took it out of the ponytail to prevent any headaches...thoughtful yet shocking, coming from the Demon Lord.

Mordecai fully expected venting, ranting, anything, but he was met with silence...and that's when dread settled in. She was so lively, and seeing her so down killed him...perhaps he was getting sentimental...

She was like a daughter to them. DT wanted to keep her calm and comfy as much as possible, and seeing her tears hurt their heart. So a gentle head kiss. Familial through and through, and it seemed to work...kinda...

It was over for him when she started sobbing out "Daddy"...screaming and crying into his chest, Alastor allowed his grin to fade for the first time.

"...you're alright, honey...you're alright..."

He'd whisper: his adopted daughter was still in distress over a meager, pathetic anon. He didn't want to let her suffer like this...so he held her to his chest. He let her cry. He needed to, it wasn't healthy for her to suck it up. Laying on the floorboards in a private room, the only important thing to him was making sure his little girl was content and happy...even if he had to murder someone.

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

so guys, how are yall gonna plan the baby shower?

“Honestly, it probably should be private…but I dunno! It’s up to DT and Dad Alastor. Though I have a suggestion! We should get a ring bear for the ceremony! It’ll lighten things up.”

“A WHAT??”

“Little Miss Sunshine, that’s a wrong type of celebration for a ring bearer!”

“She said bear, Alastor…”

“….Oh.”

“OH INDEED!”

“We aren’t getting a bear period.”

“…why is she like this.”

"A sweet little suggestion, but I'm afraid we're going to have to decline it, my dear. As for it being a private get together, I absolutely agree on it!"

"Especially with how easy things could get out to the public...not that I hate the spotlight! I just don't want this being known...aside from just doing the spell and turning out to be successful, we don't have a solid plan yet."

"How about we make a solid plan tonight? That way we'll be prepared and ready for the birth in three months: demonic pregnancies are much shorter than average, thanks to magic. As to you folks, stay tuned for that!"

"THREE MONTHS????"