#Meanwhile…for the one whose death was noticed and cared by nobody—

[futurewriter2000]

Dysfunctional - pt. 1

A/N: I'm just bored.

XX

Growth is something only a little amount of people know about. Nobody truly wants to grow but they do, whether they choose to or not, through time they change.

And so as a bad man finds a bible, a good woman finds her power.

Who were you in the eyes of most people? - A question that always floated in the back of your mind. Like a pebble in your shoe, the one you could never get rid of. It was the main question that bothered you all years through Hogwarts, up to a point where you pushed it so far down and completely transformed it.

Who are you in the eyes of yourself?

Foolish question that oddly worked wonders for you and your transformation. You change your mindset, you change yourself right? At least that's what all those Muggle books had been telling you.

All Hogwarts dug their interest in you all of a sudden but you haven't thought much about it. For you, it was as if nothing had changed. You thought you didn't interest anybody and that was what made you keep yourself on the right path to focus on you and the little moments life has to offer.

"I can't believe that's her." Sirius leaned over, staring and smiling.

"Wave a whole banner, don't you." Remus retorded, rolling his eyes.

"If only she wasn't a Slytherin- by the way, how could she had got sorted into Slytherin. Since our interactions had always been so... civil and well... she posed no threat what-so-ever. I'd always imagined her being in a Hufflepuff." James added, meanwhile Sirius sat down and grabbed himself a toast.

"She lives not far from us." started Peter and all eyes turned to him. "(Y/n)." he felt the need to clarify. "I had heard loads of shouting in her house... since we lived there, everybody knew her family situation."

"Rich and spoiled?" Sirius rolled his eyes, taking another bite in his toast.

"Rich and... strict... very strict father and mother..." Peter mumbled, looking at his bread.

"Oh, that's right. Met her father once- loud old sod." James looked back, looking at you laughing with some of other Slytherins- the bad kind that caused his heart to be swallowed by his stomach. "Always so angry..." he continued, looking at you until your eyes met and he quickly turned away.

"She's got nice hair." said Sirius as all of them furrowed their eyebrows at him. "It's just an observation." he shrugged.

---

You had been starting to hang out a lot with the wrong crowd of Hogwarts. Everybody started to notice... everybody started to say they were corrupting you and the changes they noticed were quite massive.

You started talking back to the teachers. Something you have never thought of doing, since your shyness was a large part of your childhood personality. But that was just it... you weren't a child anymore, were you?

You were going out of the classroom when somebody rushed right into you, spilling the coffee in your hand all over you and your books.

The boy's eyes widened as he continued to look at the stains that were starting to show all over your uniform.

"I am so sorry, (Y/N). I swear, I didn't mean to- I just- you appeared out of nowhere-" James started to apologize. You were only staring down, staring at him, then back down and just as James was preparing to be yelled at, hexed at or cursed at you let out a laugh.

"Well hell..." you smiled up at him. "Finally a reason to get a new robe." you let out another laugh, meanwhile James only stood there.

"You're not... mad?"

"Well, being mad wouldn't really do us much favour, would it now?" you picked up your books that weren't that much damaged as you thought they'd be. "Shame for the coffee tho. Can't really function without it."

"Coffee?" he repeated. "You're mad about the coffee?" he started to feel a bit relieved.

"I don't joke about coffee, Potter. You should know that." you wiped the books with the sleeves of your uniform. You started to take off the robe so that you would only stand there in front of him with your shirt, tie and skirt. Only then James started to realise how much your body has changed since the last time he had seen you. Your breast, specifically, where he could see your finely shaped lace bra through the coffee stain. He felt his cheeks go red, radiating through his faint freckles and you couldn't help yourself but to smile.

"I'm so sorr- rry." he muttered again, taking off his robe and offering it to you. "Here. Take it."

"Oh, nice. A Gryffindor robe." you took it and wrapped it around yourself. "Though, I always imagined stealing it." you winked and he let out a laugh.

"Would fit your house perfectly."

"Theft?" you questioned. "No. Not a trait for Slytherins."

"No?" he grinned, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back. "If it's not their trait, then whose is?"

"Mine." you winked again, grabbing the bag from the floor as James grabbed your books. "Now, imagine a Slytherin coming into the common room with a Gryffindor robe. God, I'd piss them all off."

James started to laugh. "You hate your own house?"

"Oh, God no." you let out a laugh as you started to walk beside him and notice him looking at you, observing you. "I just find this house thing rivalry real funny." you said, finding him still staring. You stopped and turned around. "What are you staring at Potter?"

"You, clearly." he pointed out bluntly. "It suits you so much better than me and it clearly doesn't even fit you."

You started to laugh. "Well, don't get jealous over it. I'll give it back to you when we reach the dungeons."

"Oh, you can give it back later?"

"Why?"

"Because you can see everything through the stains. Why do you think I offered it to you? Plus, you said you wanted to piss off Slytherins and I'd like to piss of Slytherins as well."

"A common interest."

"Exactly."

"Though, I think they'll live, knowing I wear a bra and that I have... a body. Maybe they'll finally stop thinking I'm half mermaid or something." you started to joke and so did James. "If I really wanted to piss them off, I'd use a tie because a robe looks like any other robe, really."

James was the one that stopped now, shoving the books he held into your arms and untying his tie.

"No way, you're doing that. I was joking."

"I'm not." he smiled with his teeth and pulled it over his head. He untied yours and pulled it over yours, exchanging it for his own, Gryffindor tie. "Tell me how it goes. " he said just before he left, lifting your tie in his fist. "I'll keep on to this- just in case I don't get mine back.

"Alrighty!" you shouted after him.

---

It wasn't until the next day when James was drowsily eating his breakfast before his practice. You came from behind and scared him half to death. His toast flew from his hand and all eyes flew to the two of you. You squeezed between him and the red-head, completely dismissing her presence as you gave James a cheeky smile.

"Want to know?"

"You made my toast fly away." he siad drowsily.

"And you made my coffee make love to the floor. Now do you want to know?"

"How are you so chirp this morning? It's not even seven?"

"Got up at 2am. Had like two coffees since then. Anyway. Do you want to know?"

"Two in the morning? Hell, why did you get up so early- that's not even early... that's like late. And yeah, I do want to know." he started t wake up to the news.

"Been studying all week at night and now I sleep in the noon and am awake in the night. Fun." you chirped.

"Okay- tell me what happened?"

"The looks- oh, my God, you should have been there when I walked it. It was like I murdered their entire family."

"No-" he let out a laugh.

"Mulciber came to me." you started to talk in a more drama-spilling tone and James got excited.

"I thought the two of you were like friends."

"Us? Maybe in another dimension but like-

' *flashback*

"What the hell are you wearing?" he stomped to you and grabbed you by your tie, to which you shoved away in a second.

"Haven't you seen this new trend? I think it goes with- you are what you eat." you started to tease, turning around like a fashion model as you placed your hands on your hips. "Or in this case, you wear what you eat and I eat coffee every day, any day." you winked.

"And the tie?"

"You like?" you continued, seeing the little jealousy burn in his eyes, except you knew far well it wasn't jealousy. It was possessiveness and you'd rather go to hell than be anybody's property. "It's from my new beau." you fanned yourself, wrapping yourself in his robe and peeking through it. "A prince on white horse came to me today-"

"Be serious, (y/n)."

"I am dead serious." you pouted playfully. "He rushed on his horse and knocked me down, spilled my poor coffee all over me. It was like love at first sight. He scooped me into his arms and said 'Oh, dear! How could I have hurt this beautiful creature.-"

"You really didn't say that?" James interrupted the story telling, laughing as the other's who were surrounding you laughed with you.

"I did. Now let me go back."

- "He didn't say that!" Mulciber rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me you're shagging a Gryffindor?"

"I'm not." you started to get more serious. "And if I would be, would it be such a bad thing doing one? I mean, you only live once, why would it be wrong not taking a taste of all four cakes." you teased again, causing him to grow redder in his pale skin.

"You stole it."

"It was pleasantly exchanged."

"Exchanged?"

"A tie for a tie." you smiled.

"Why don't we go, eye for an eye?"

"Because nobody wants to give their eye, silly." you continued.

"You really annoy me, you know."

"I do and I really do not care. I only want to go to my room and take a nap."

"I will find out, you know!"

"I don't care!"

"Who was it?!"

"Dumbledore!"

*end of fashback*

"You're crazy." James continued to laugh.

"A little dysfunctional but not crazy." you winked and got up.

"And my things?"

"Do you got mine?"

"No, I didn't think I'd see you this early."

"Well then... guess they are mine now." you leaned forward, an inch apart as both of you continued to grin at each other, not another word spoken. You didn't dare to look anywhere else than his hazel eyes, such a wonderful mixture of green, brown and yellow. It amazes you how somebody can have such a wonderful eye colour. He didn't even only have one colour but three. "Pretty." you said, still smiling and pulled away, jumping back on your feet as he turned to you, smiling.

"Wait!" Sirius spoke before you could leave. "When did... when did you become best friends?"

"We didn't." James answered and you looked down at him, raising an eyebrow and feeling amused.

"No. We just made blood bond nobody else could break." you spoke mysteriously, putting your elbows on James' shoulders and placing your head on top of his, staring at Sirius. "And now we will secretly plan the end of the world. Muahahah." you joked, standing back up as the others laughed. "See you later Potts." and with that you were gone as the other watched you.

"What... just happened?" Remus started laughing, amazed.

"They made a blood bond." Sirius pointed his finger at you disappearing.

James started laughing. "Maybe now I can ask her about what she does with her hair for you." James got up and winked at Sirius.

"Oh, would you? I really want to know." Sirius stood up and started to walk behind him. "Just... say it's for Lily or something."

James started laughing again, then realising. "Oh, shit!" he turned around, searching for the red-head that was sitting beside him. "She was telling me something when (y/n) appeared. I totally forgot about her."

Sirius started laughing loudly, tapping James' shoulder. "Good luck getting her attention now."

[shades-of-stony]

Royalty Stony AUs

A King for Christmas by iam93percentstardust

Summary: In 1867, Tony Stark flees New York after refusing to marry the alpha his parents chose for him. His money runs out in the small kingdom of Dacia, ruled over by King Steven of the Rogers line. Somehow, and he’s not entirely sure how, he ends up accepting the position of nanny to the king’s four children: Harley, Peter, Sarah, and Morgan.

Tony bonds with the children easily but their father is harder to get to know. Steve is still grieving his wife’s death four years earlier. His continued mourning has turned the once bright halls into dark and somber shadows of their former glory. Tony isn’t entirely certain what he can do but he knows that he has to do something or else the whole country, so attuned to their leader, will sink into despair. He begins by reconciling the king with his young children.

Meanwhile, the children have decided that it’s high time their father fall in love again—and Tony is the obvious choice. They concoct elaborate plans to force the two together, hardly realizing that Steve and Tony are falling in love, not through their shenanigans but through the quiet moments they share bonding over the love they have for the children.

A Higher Form of War by sabremc

Summary: Tony is a King with a surprising number of people out to kill him. Steve and the rest of the Avengers are fighting for Pierce's rebellion and end up with Tony as their prisoner. Oops.

Basically one of those bodice-ripping romance novels I don't read (ahem) but with far more gay.

rearrange my heart (to fit your smile) by starklystar

Summary: "You dare," Howard's chair makes an ugly noise as it scrapes against the stone floors, the chatter of the room shifting into hushed whispers and stolen glances. "I am your father and your King!"

"My King is my husband," Tony tips his chin up, defiant. "And I refuse to hear you suggest that my husband has been anything other than good to me."

Next to him, he feels Steve's shoulders stiffen in surprise.

Howard's fist slams loud on the table. "Your husband does not even love you!"

Tony jerks back, burned. He knows that. Knows that Steve did not marry him for love – does not need any reminder of the cold truth, of what he desperately yearns for and can't even hope to have – but the harshness of Howard's words was scalding, and Tony can't afford for this to go any further.

----------

Or, King Steven marries Prince Tony, Tony is pretty sure he shouldn't panic when he falls in love with his own husband, and Steve tries his very best not to cause diplomatic crises.

Keyword: try

Fealty by  Lasenby_Heathcote and Robin_tCJ

Summary: Steve Rogers is Lord of America, and was gifted his corner of the kingdom of Starkland after amazing acts of heroism in the war against Hydra. A long, brutal winter forces Steve to go to King Howard for aid, and Howard agrees – under the condition that Steve bond with his Omega son, Tony. Steve agrees, of course, for the good of his people. Prince Tony is a trained Omega Consort – an Omega of status sent to a prestigious academy to become the perfect Consort Mate to high-status Alphas throughout the kingdom. At this academy they learn diplomacy, negotiation, proper manners, and, of course, the various ways to pleasure their Alphas.

I will wait by Shellhead616

Summary: Prince Stark was to marry a Prince he never met, for money he never wanted, to reign over a realm his father didn’t care for. But the Prince did care for his people. So he ran away, accidentally joined a group of misfits calling themselves the “Avengers”, with their fierce leader “The Captain". Although, when he discovers the secret the Captain has been keeping, everything changes.

one day by mvrcredi

Summary: One day.

One day Prince Steven would be king. One day he would have all the qualities to be an even better king than his father.

And maybe, one day, Tony would be his husband.

(But maybe, before that one day, Steven should reveal his secret to the man.)

My Loyalty to You by Hazein, Shi_Toyu

Summary: The Israelite nation has gone to war, Howard is acting erratic, and it’s everything Tony can do to argue with the war council to find the most advantageous strategies for their men. Then Thanos strides out of the enemy ranks and issues a challenge unlike any Tony has ever heard. If an Israelite can defeat him in one-on-one combat, their entire army will surrender. Too bad Thanos is twice the size of any man they have. Enter Steve Rogers, local sheppard and the king’s newest harp player, who claims he can fell this giant with nothing but a sling and a stone.

Whether he can manage it or not, Tony is just trying to figure out how you get to looking like that by tending sheep...

Arranged by NotEvenCloseToStraight

Summary: Royalty AU-- Howard arranges a match between Tony and Steve, but when Tony tries to run away with Tiberius instead, Steve goes after his betrothed and brings him home. Things are difficult between the couple at first, but an impulsive kiss leads to softer moments, and finally the arranged pair find happiness together.

Knight of Wands by  Sineala

Summary: Steve has reigned as king for ten years, and in a few days peace will finally come to his kingdom. Representatives of the Kree Empire are soon to arrive for the negotiations that will end the war between them once and for all. Steve is looking forward to settling down, with his hand-picked Avengers at his side -- led, of course, by the masked knight Iron Man -- and also his trusted advisors, the most beloved of whom is Tony, his court magician, the most powerful mage in all the land.

But when Steve's life is endangered, Tony makes the greatest sacrifice of all to protect his king, a sacrifice far greater than his life. And when Tony disappears under mysterious circumstances, Steve learns that even his closest friends keep secrets that he could never have suspected.

Chasing Daydreams by comecatchmeifyoucan

Summary: “Promise you’ll be there?” He mumbled into Steve’s chest.

“Of course.”

“Good.” Tony separated from Steve but his hand was still gently gripping the blond’s wrist. “Because the party only starts when I arrive, and I’m obviously not going if you won’t be there.”

Steve felt the brunet’s hand slip down to graze his, and he let it linger there for a second before it was suddenly pulled away from him. He could only hope that he had hidden his disappointment well.

Fortunately, Tony didn’t seem to notice Steve’s abrupt drop in mood.

✧ ─────── ♡ ─────── ✧

After years of pining for the brunet, Steve was finally going to get his chance to confess his feelings for Tony. If only he could find him in the crowd of masked-people first...

Luckily, when his hopeless crush is nowhere to be found, Steve meets a beautiful stranger to keep him company throughout the night.

heavy is the crown by theappleppielifestyle

Summary: “Why did you pick me? As a match. Howard forced you to marry, but you had - there were other options. Many of them.”

“Maybe I wanted to help you,” Tony says. “To help - anyone, for once. Your people needed it.”

Oh, Steve thinks dully. So it wasn’t about him at all. It’s - a comfort, in some ways. In others, it’s… less so.

“And-” Tony hesitates. "Everyone said you were kind. I thought… if I had to marry, I’d prefer to marry someone kind.”

(Or, Arranged Marriage AU.)

WIP:

The Crown- the stony au nobody asked for by Jo_StClaire

Summary: Tony is the sole Omega prince of Angsold, who falls in love with the Alpha Army Captain of a neighboring nation. When his father, King Howard, suddenly falls ill and passes, Tony's life is thrown out of wack when he becomes a reigning monarch at 25. Follow Tony through the struggles of being a newly-wedded Omega as well as a leader of a nation. He must learn to balance his love for his people with his love for his husband Steve. (Loosely Based off of the Netflix series The Crown)

No More, No Less by ABrighterDarkness

Summary: His father had been discussing it again, amongst his advisers. He was barely eighteen , what did he need of a wife at eighteen? Frankly, he was already tired of hearing about it. Tired of meeting the daughters of the various men that were deemed important enough. None of them had caught his attention in the least and he suspected that they never would. Not when his daydreams already consisted of intelligent brown eyes, rich brown curls and a wickedly charming grin.

Protea by Anonymous

Summary: After witnessing the injustice done onto his parents, Steve Rogers sneaks into the Ferrite Royal Palace to try and find answers. Fate decides to saddle him with solving shady scandals while unknowingly becoming involved with the nation’s omegan king, Anthony.

And deal with all the baggage and drama that comes along with it.

Or…

A Concubine!Steve AU

they're both princes in this one by vapaad

Summary: Steve Rogers is the first son of the United States The entire nation sees him as America’s golden boy. Handsome, smart, charming, and overall perfection– Steve is an icon to the youths of America. But Steve, well he has one little issue. He thinks Prince Anthony, yes the british prince, is a big jerk. Arrogant and an overall asshole.

So when an encounter between the two results in chaos, Steve and Anthony “call me Tony” are thrusted into a PR stint of being best friends. But soon enough, they both come to the realization that they want more, and there, bloomed a secret relationship between the first son of the united states, and the prince of England.

tell me i'm your national anthem by oopshidaisy for chasingconstellations

Summary: Red, White & Royal Blue AU. Tony Stark is the unwilling First Son of the United States, whose rivalry with beloved Prince Steve threatens UK/US relations. After an international incident involving a wedding cake, Steve and Tony are forced to fake a friendship for the public eye - a fake friendship that evolves into something real, and dangerous.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

[hubbytaeil]

hello! can u please do angst #6 from your prompt list for johnny?? maybe some enemies or fake dating ?! thanks <3

Johnny + #6 It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion

genre: kind of angst, reneissanse!au 

synopsis: an alternative universe in which reader is a Medici and Johnny is a Pazzi in 15th Century Florence. In case you didn’t know, Giovanni is the equivalent of John 

tw: mentions of blood and death

word count: 3k+ 

a/n: there i go again putting together two of my favourite things together aka Johnny and Italy so really this is pure self-indulgence. On top of that, this will be the last post I make. I’ve been thinking a lot, I’ve put two and two together and I understood that I’m about to enter the busiest period/year of my life, but that’s adulting right? Either way, it was fun to be here while it lasted, thank you for your support but I feel like I need to concentrate on getting my life together now. Remember to take care of yourself, nenétte says goodnight <3

It was a perfect night for a celebration; it seemed as though the whole city of Florence had gathered in the presence of the Corsini in their great villa. Music played gayly and the atmosphere was filled with laughter and joy. You knew very well this was all your friend Matilde’s doing, her social gatherings were known to be the most entertaining throughout the republic. The reason of the celebration was unknown but the guests were having a splendid time. When you finally questioned Matilde about it, she just shrugged her shoulders.

“Must a lady always have an excuse for her to wish for good company and a good laugh?” she whispered in your ear so that she would not be heard by her older sisters.

“Oh, most certainly not. Yet, I am still rather perplexed on why the lady in question has to invite the entire city in her home to simply have a laugh.” you responded, holding her hand in a teasing manner.  

“We should enjoy ourselves for as long as we can, y/n. Just like your brothers always say, don’t they?” you nodded at Matilde’s statement, glancing over at your brother Lorenzo engaged in what seemed a heated conversation with one of the guests. You always regarded yourself to have had such a lucky disposition, having been born in one the most influential families of the peninsula. Yet, your true luck laid in the wonderful family members you had been blessed with. A young lady such as yourself could not have hoped for a better environment to grow up in, surrounded by illustrated artists who would always come in and out of your household, the toms of the library of your beloved father, God rest his soul, and, of course, the presence of your ever so outstanding siblings. Lorenzo noticed your gaze towards him and he saw how must’ve been lost inside your numerous thoughts. He shook his head slightly. Divertiti. Have fun, he mouthed. You smiled enthusiastically, remembering what such beautiful lines of wisdom you had found lying on his desk along the piles of scattered papers. You felt the need to share them with Matilde.

“As my dear brother would say, del domani non c’è certezza. Of tomorrow there’s no certainty.”

“And would your other dear brother say, sorella?” Giuliano intruded in your conversation but Matilde was not at all displeased. Giuliano had that effect on every lady (or lord), with his astonishing complexion and rather captivating character that at times could be considered rather bellicose.  

“Well in your case, you would just simply sneak away with the fairest lady here present and leave your younger siblings to watch out for themselves.” you affirmed, of course he couldn’t help but smirk at truthfulness of your words.

“Not this time, y/n. Tonight I’m very determined to protect you from the rapacious gazes of Florentine society. Mother’s orders.” Said Giuliano sternly, locking his arm with yours, leading you to dance and separating you from Matilde.  

“Is that so, Giuliano? Is any of the gentlemen here present organising some sort of coup against my character?” you implied, trying to veil your cheeky smile. As the music initiated, you let your brother guide you in the sea of people, hoping not to get the wrong steps and end up on someone’s feet, just like what happened last time with one of the Albizzi boys.  

“Not that I know of, no. But who knows what are these pompous bastards’ ways to smear our family.” your brother hissed when he got the chance to be close to your ear as he made you turn.

“You’d know better not to utter such profanities, messere.” you muttered, mocking your childhood governess which made Giuliano laugh silently as he positioned you both in line. You continued on dancing and you could feel your brother glaring at every gentleman whose turn was it to dance with you. Much to your determined protector’s surprise, you had never cared much for the company of men, therefore you were sure you could defend yourself in case of uncomfortable or inconvenient situations. You limited yourself to exchange the bare minimum of pleasantries, enough for you to be polite but not enough for them to justify any sort of pursuing. An equilibrium soon to be disrupted by a young man, all dressed in black, who you had never seen before, not at any of Matilde’s parties or in church or even in one your brothers’ company. The gentleman, who most definitely stood out for his imposing height, took your hand and led you forward. You had never felt intimidation in the presence of the opposite sex, as opposed to what all decent ladies are taught, and yet there was something about him that made you both fear and admire him, with his hair long and dark and his serious gaze.  

“Are you enjoying yourself, my lady?” his raucous voice filled your ears as he made you sway past him and back at his side. You tried to compose yourself.

“Most definitely, my lord. I reckon you are as well.”

“I am certainly, though it is rather unfortunate that no other lady can dance as well as you.” whispered the puzzling man, in the corner of your eye you saw a smirk. That must have been the dreaded coup Giuliano was worrying about. You were ashamed to admit that being charmed wasn’t as unpleasant as you had expected. You could’ve even get used to it if it meant looking into the stranger’s beautiful eyes and how they glowed under the candle lights. They irradiated a particular light, making anyone believe that they held some type of knowledge a common person could not aspire to.  

“It is the mere product of practice. Truth to be told, I find books more entertaining at times.” you took a step forward together, hand in hand.

“Is that so? And in what readings have you most interest?” you smirked at his question, holding in a chuckle, resulting in him frowning as he waited for your respond. He pulled you in and then you spun around him.

“I’m afraid if I told you, messere, you wouldn’t want to pay me such honouring compliments anymore.” You showed him your most endearing smile and he gladly reciprocated, staring at you attentively as you draw a circle around him.  

You were doleful to let go of his hand just to give it to another gentleman. Faster than you expected, the dance came to an end you were already anticipating to resume the conversation with your newest acquaintance. You felt silly in not having asked for his name. You spotted his eyes again the crowd and he was svelte to start making his way to you. But before he could reach you, you observed how his eyes shifted from you to something that was behind. His expression had darkened. You turned around to realise how that something was no other than a rather crossed Giuliano. The young man froze where he stood, meanwhile Giuliano was quick to grab you gently by the arm.  

“I most definitely have oppositions about your taste in men, y/n.” your brother grumbled, not taking his flaming eyes off the gentleman dressed in black.  

“I actually found him to be the most agreeable gentleman to dance with me tonight. What could your oppositions be, brother?” you glanced over at him once again, wearing a pleased smile. This time he didn’t even flinch, he had reassumed the initial austere expression. It set off a bitter taste in your mouth.  

“Do you really wish to know the reason of my oppositions?” Giuliano’s tone was strange. You knew he was hiding something from you. You nodded impatiently, only wanting to find out the dynamics of this sudden change of mood.  

Giuliano let your hand rest on his as he made his way to the unknown man with you at his side. Your heart sank in your chest once you were face to face yet again with the handsome stranger. What was your brother trying to do?

“Giuliano de’ Medici.” spoke the tall man. You were not surprised at him knowing who your brother was, but it didn’t explain at all why this was your first time seeing him.

“Giovanni de’ Pazzi.” responded Giuliano. Your throat ran dry at the sound of that name and your head was suddenly heavier.  

It couldn’t be. He was a Pazzi, but how was this possible? You had never seen him around any other person who carried such dreadful surname. All good dispositions towards the man changed in the blink of an eye. And all it took was a bloody name.

“Tell me Giovanni, how was England? It was quite a lengthy stay, wasn’t it?” Giuliano posed his question, but the usual tone of mockery was not trying to be hidden by any means.  

“It was indeed, lengthy enough for me to start calling myself John, like the locals did. But I have missed Florence very much.” John’s tone on the other hand was firm and poised, hard to believe he was a Pazzi if one didn’t notice the deadly spark in his dark eyes, the same spark you had mistaken for a sign of a respectable man.  

“May I present to you my sister, y/n de’ Medici?” the reveal of both of your identities had banished any sort of possible affection between you and John. There you stood face to face, a pernicious look in both of your eyes. You bowed never letting your gaze leave him, not interested in being polite, not to him or any member of his family.

“It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance, madonna. I certainly look forward on having more conversations regarding our favourite lectures.” his devious smirk didn’t look as charming anymore, not when it reminded you of the odious man who was head of his family.

“I certainly do, messer Pazzi.” you responded with not even a drop of sincerity, you made sure the message was clear. You heard an unpleasant voice calling out John’s name. It was Francesco de’ Pazzi.

“If you’ll excuse me, my brother requires my presence.” John bowed elegantly and was swift to leave you and Giuliano alone. You squeezed your brother’s hand as tight as you could after John was far away enough.

“Say, what would you do without me, sorella?” Giuliano was glad in having succeeded in your mother’s plan but you felt deceived and most importantly, you felt uneasy having been so close to someone who despised your family so deeply. Though you were relieved in having been saved from stepping into the lion’s den.

“They should hang these Pazzis’ portraits around town so that decent young ladies don’t make the grave mistake of dancing with them.” you whispered bitterly.  

“You seemed quite glad in the moment; I’ve never seen you look at a man like that.” Giuliano teased you.  

“Do shut your mouth, and don’t mention this to anyone.” you warned him, your voice shaking thinking about John’s hand touching yours, about his eyes piercing through you like an arrow.

“Whatever for? Lorenzo always speaks of ending this rivalry once and for all. Perhaps, he’ll be happy to acquire a Pazzi as a brother-in-law.” Giuliano spoke with poison in his voice, since he clearly didn’t agree with his oldest sibling. Not to mention just weeks prior Francesco de’ Pazzi and Giuliano had been involved in a fight around the market place. Giuliano had a tumultuous character and it didn’t help the devilish rumours the Pazzi would spread about your family. You clang at Giuliano’s arm like you did when you were child.

“I shall never speak to a Pazzi ever again, let alone marry one. Just the mere thought makes my skin crawl.” had you and Giuliano been alone, you would’ve spat on the ground.

“Well, you’re in luck, I’d never let you commit such treason against our family, but must importantly, against me.” you both chuckled softly, hoping not be observed by anyone who would report what you were saying to the people involved.  

“I know you two are up to no good, whatever is going on?” Lorenzo approached you, assuming a concerned look.  

“Absolutely nothing, brother. I was just mentioning how all eyes seem to be on y/n this evening.” confidently answered Giuliano, tapping on the palm of your hand.  

-

The evening was far from being over. Though, unlike your brothers, you required fresh air from time to time during crowded banquets such as these. You asked Matilde to join you on one of the balconies but she kindly refused after Giuliano finally asked her to dance. Therefore, you made your way alone. You rested your palms on the reeling, breathing in and out, looking up at the sky and following the trail of stars.  

“You know, my uncle always says you Medici spend so much time looking up at the clouds that you forget what really matters.” a familiar voice sent a chill through your spine, making you shiver in result. You turned around to see John standing in between the pillars with a smug look on his face. Perhaps he thought he had conducted you into some trap. You pitied him.

“And my dear brother Lorenzo always say that you Pazzi waste all your great potential in going after what is out of your reach.” you replied severely, your back as straight as it could be. John snickered at your comeback. He looked rather dangerous with his face beaconed by the torches hanging on the wall, almost like Lucifer after having fallen from heaven. You had to admit, there was a hint of fear inside of you but shut it out as fast as you could.

“Have you been sent here to antagonise me?” you asked him since he hadn’t spoken.  

“You are a Medici indeed.” John affirmed almost to himself, observing your every feature. “But no, I hadn’t such intentions. Though I could, if you were inclined.” said John, taking a step towards you.

“You’d be wise not to antagonise the wrong person, messere. One may even get hurt.” you warned him, looking at him dead in the eye. You were not used to stepping down to anyone, you were proud and not ashamed of it. Thought you two seemed to share this particular trait. It was a silent quarrel.  

“Well, if that isn’t an inviting prospect.” John grinned, not taking your fervour seriously.

“So, you have come to antagonise me. I guess it runs in the family.” you raised your eyebrows in false surprise. “Did your uncle have to bring you back here all the way from England for this sole purpose?” you laughed in his face but his expression didn’t mutate. Yet his body seemed to tense up.  

“The reasons of my return certainly do not concern you, my lady. Furthermore, I gathered you were enjoying yourself mingling with a Pazzi. Now, that’s not a behaviour worth of a Medici, is it?” John scolded you and rage created a stinging sensation that spread throughout your body. You tightened your fists, to the point where they hurt, anything not to let wrath cloud your judgment.  

“I do not believe you are to be the best individual to judge what is worth of a Medici or not.” you stated as you commenced to circle around him.

“You have just returned to Florence and you are probably following your brother’s orders to please him. In that case, I wouldn’t blame you for your foolish provocative attempts.” you completed the circle as you said this.  

“but I would blame you if such behaviour had been deliberate. Oh, it would’ve been so unfair to me, messer Pazzi.” you affirmed, sarcastically raising the pitch of your voice. You stood once again face to face, far away from the brief moment of propensity that you two had shared hours prior. You weren’t sure if his lively eyes regarded you as a prey or as his equal. John contemplated you, his opponent, before breaking into a smile.  

“And what a pain it would be, y/n” You saw him move his hand preparing to reach for yours until he refrained himself “for you to know that I’ve been unfair to you.” John knew how to play this game very well indeed, whether he had learnt from his brother or anyone else in the family. Did he stop himself because in him there was enough decency left that didn’t make him want to compromise a young lady? Or perhaps did he want to prolong the fun he was having?  

“Your perseverance is admirable, Giovanni” you saw him wince at his real name being pronounced. “though too much of it could lead to dangerous outcomes.” your venomous threat didn’t make John retreat but you could see that he was impressed by it.  

“I certainly hope this fierceness of yours doesn’t get you into trouble, my lady.” he whispered.

“And it is a real shame no one has asked for your opinion in regard of my character, my lord.” you stared into each other's eyes like sword blades colliding. It was a tie.

“Y/n.” you heard Lorenzo calling your name, though it resounded like white noise in your ears. He informed you that it was time to leave. You looked over John’s shoulder and saw him looking rather preoccupied. You were glad that it wasn’t Giuliano or else he would’ve challenged John straight away after seeing you alone with him. You didn’t even bother bowing to John and you simply took heavy steps towards your brother.  

“Are you alright, y/n?” Lorenzo questioned, rubbing one of your shoulders.

“I’m feeling splendid, do not worry about me.” you reassured him. You glanced back at John whose expression was cryptic. You worried if that expression was going to haunt your dreams that night.

“Have a good night, madonna. I’m sure we’ll have plenty of other occasions to talk about Ovid.” John hinted at the conversation you had during the dance and it made you fume with both rage and humiliation. You saw your brother’s expression darken at John’s words but he remained calm, even if the grip he had on you said otherwise. You, on the other hand, were seeing red. It was beyond unfairness; it was absolutely evil. You pushed aside the fear of John spreading vicious rumours about you being promiscuous or loose solely based on that conversation.  

“There’ll be no need.” you affirmed, succeeding in keeping your voice stable. “I believe we have nothing more to say to each other. Have a good night.” and like that you stormed out alongside your brother, utterly infuriated at the state of wrath John had put you in.  

“You and Giuliano are going to be the death of me, you know that?” Lorenzo muttered in your ear after you two had reached the carriage.  

“I’m so sorry, brother.” you lowered your gaze.

“I believe you have done nothing to be sorry or ashamed for.” he made your raise your head and look in his eyes. “Furthermore, at your age I was way more reckless than you are right now.” he made you chuckle which slightly lifted your spirits. It didn’t shake off the feeling that you had made a terrible enemy that night. John eventually came to visit you in the first nightmare you had in years. One in which he was standing victorious over Giuliano’s lifeless body who laid on the altar of the Duomo, the holy cloth covered in his blood.

[spideyyroos]

are you kidding me? - peter parker (soulmate!au) - part 3

pairing: peter parker x stark!female!reader

summary: during your everlasting rivalry against peter parker, you’re unlucky enough to find out that not only is he spider-man (your dad’s new kid), but he is also your soulmate. god help us all. (soulmate au where you have a mark of where your soulmate first touches you)

word count: 2511

requested: yes!

warnings: language, slight angst, stab wound

a/n: GUESS WHOSE BACK BACK BACK BACK AGAIN!!! hey guys! sorry i’ve been mia recently, school has really been piling up on me and i pushed off this part for so long! tbh i think this is gonna be slightly slow burn?? i don’t want to rush anything oof. hope you guys like it :)) 

THE NEXT DAY

As both Peter and Y/N made their way to school, they communicated to one another on how they should act and when they should tell their individual friends about the whole soulmate ordeal. For the time being, they decided to still hate each other at school--which, technically, they still hadn’t been too fond of each other ever since the previous day. Y/N, being the more stubborn of the two, couldn’t push aside the decade-long rivalry between her and Peter. She was still in denial that he was her soulmate, the one who she would spend the rest of her life with. 

Chewing on her lip, Y/N thought about her future with Peter in it. She always knew that he would stick around in her life but never where. After the almost-kiss that they shared last night, she muted her thoughts from him, not wanting to distract while fighting crime. As she did so, she wondered why she cared about the well-being of the boy, not just in academics.

-at Midtown-

As Peter and Y/N made their way to their first period, they cautiously stood at different places from one another when passing through the hallway. Thankfully enough, Ned found Peter and they weaved their way into their history class. Y/N found herself in the class moments after, taking a seat in the back corner to ensure that she could take a nap for the period.

Y/N had always prepared ahead of time for the classes she decided to take naps in. Her phone was programmed to pick up what the teacher was saying during the lecture; later, Y/N would listen and add extra information to her notes (a/n: i suggest this highly; it works super well! :)).

When the lecture started, Y/N was out like a light. She got plenty of sleep the night before, but still preferred to be asleep. Peter, who sat across the room, tried to focus on his notes, but felt the strong urge to stare at her. Similar to Y/N, Peter felt hesitant to feel affections toward his usual enemy. Ever since yesterday, he cringed at how the two treated each other. 

Needless to say, these circumstances were more than overwhelming.

-lunch-

After their fifth period Spanish class, Y/N and Peter walked side by side in the hallway. Before they knew it, Flash called out at Peter.

“Hey Penis Parker! What are you doing, flying out of your league?” 

“And what would you know, Flash? Last time I checked, your homecoming date left you in the dust to go and grind with some other egotistical prick.”

Flash’s jaw dropped at Y/N’s words and Peter covered his mouth to stifle his laughter. Y/N turned around to face Flash, deadpan--clearly unamused by his ever so endearing nickname for Peter. Then, as if in some world-turning moment, she realized that she had just defended her rival.

Nobody knew that they were soulmates just yet.

She couldn’t let that happen--not now at least.

However, before she could make an excuse for standing up for Peter, Flash suddenly changed his target of ridicule.

“Aw, I’m sorry babe. Do you have a personal score to settle with Lindsey? Or, better yet, come over tonight and we can,” Flash continued to advance towards her and corner Y/N onto a locker, “make up for lost time.” Flash was face-to-face with Y/N, expelling his hot breath over her face. Although Flash was yet another person who knew how to make Y/N’s skin crawl, she decided to swallow the vomit coming up her throat and let herself be “enchanted” with the king of douches.

“Umm...you sure have a way with words, handsome,” Y/N’s mind was screaming at her to kick him in the nuts, but her pride didn’t allow her to let up and run to her only safe space--Peter. She feigned a gleaming smile, letting it hit her eyes. Flash only smirked at his supposed “power” over women, though it repulsed anything that walked--no, breathed--on this very earth. Y/N continued to keep this act up by biting her lip and forcing herself to eye his lips, misshapen and topped with peach fuzz for a mustache. It sent her back to last night with Peter, and she mentally sunk into thoughts of the blessed day when she’d put her guard down and allow herself to love him--woah, wait...what the fuck?

Just as she was about to dwell on her absurd thought, she felt the disgustingly warm body heat in front of her being ripped away and an angry Peter now in front of her. His back was facing her and he held his death grip on Flash, who now looked scared as all hell, was panting from the sudden movement and wide-eyed.

“How about we don’t do that?” Peter threatened, gritting his teeth and shooting daggers at Flash. Y/N walked directly behind Peter and performed the trick as old as time: playing with the angry boy’s hair to calm him down. As she laced her fingers through his wavy hair, Peter fell victim to the affection. He let go of Flash, freeing him to run away from the previously seething Peter--not sparing to look back at the nerd who once could never have the heart to kill a fly. 

Y/N grabbed onto Peter’s shoulder and turned him around, hand still interlocked within his curls. Peter’s expression showed pure relaxation, contradicting the near-death that he could have caused. They looked into each other’s eyes, once again letting the rest of the world slip away. Thank God that everyone else had cleared the hallway and went their own ways to the cafeteria. The young Stark filed her hand through his exceptionally soft hair--what conditioner do you use? They chuckled, knowing that only these two could see into her comedic genius. Peter’s eyes wandered her face, taking in her features and mentally noting small details that he would’ve never noticed beforehand. He suddenly cupped her face with his hands and went to lean in, only for Y/N to abruptly rip her contact from him.

“Peter--”

“I’m sorry--”

“Can we just give...give whatever this is--a moment to breathe? Jesus, it’s been a day and now I have to make sure that no one ever hits on me because God forbid Spider-Man’s soulma--” Peter’s hand clamped over Y/N’s mouth, eyes wide and desperate for her to shut up.

“I’m sorry, ok? Now will you stop talking before someone hears?” Y/N shoved his hand off her mouth and made a beeline towards the exit, not dealing with anymore of this bullshit.

Y/N, frustrated and fed up, went home to the complex--this, and she swears by it, was by far the worst week of her life. She wished that she wasn’t so difficult, that she could have been dealt a different soulmate, that she could start over, that she could be anywhere else but here. She made an effort to ignore his thoughts and mute her own. She didn’t want to be burned again. She has always pined after the well-deserved love and freely gave her heart to the people who gave her half-assed compliments--believing that each time would be different. Yet time and time again she would be let down, until she had enough. She sealed her walls with super-glue and rejected any form of genuine interest in her well-being. 

-at Avengers complex-

4:56

Peter tried to busy himself with expanding his patrol area, patrol hours, and homework--anything to avoid facing the obvious. He may as well be dead to her, right?

God, no! Don’t ever say that. Just--give me time, alright? This is just...a lot.

Look--we’re adjusting right now. Us even talking is already some sort of sign that we can try to get along. I know you’d prefer to stay at the very least 6 feet apart but--fuck, I’ll be honest--ever since we…connected I’ve been able to see you in a different light--

--pretty sure that’s called being horny--

--will you just...you know what? No. You don’t get to find out what I was going to say. Are you happy now?

Y/N didn’t respond. She just laid on her bed, aggressively staring at her window, hoping that he just might swing by.

It wasn’t long until she felt a searingly white hot pain on her left side. She screamed out in her room, trying to haphazardly relieve some of this unbearable punishment of having a superhero as a soulmate. Tears blurred her vision and she clutched her side, unable to move in fear that she would break her entire body. With as much effort she could put out, she reached for her suit tracking device--jesus christ, what the fuck happened to him?

Y/N saw the spider icon deep in the streets of Queens, at one of the many Mom and Pop restaurants. She saw an update on the suit condition:

OPENING ON LEFT SIDE - COULD BE KNIFE WOUND?

Peter, are you okay? Please get out of there as soon as you can! I’ll call the police right now--OW!

Y/N received a crisp punch to her right cheek, wincing and letting the new tears fall over her face. She tried to stay strong, despite everything hurting so much. She pressed “NOTIFY POLICE” on the device and curled into a ball, hoping the pain would stop soon. Just as she thought it was over, a square kick to the stomach almost caused an upheaval of her last meal. Stars taking over her vision, she fell unconscious onto her bedroom floor.

-meanwhile-

Peter has had his fair share of difficult and strong criminals, but damn! This group was one for the books. Not considering the soulmate tie between himself and Y/N, he fought the band of robbers and took each hit as a grain of salt.

Peter, are you okay? Please get out of there as soon as you can! I’ll call the police right now--OW!

“Oh shit--” Peter mumbled, allowing himself to get punched in the face by the one of the last men standing. Easily knocking him out with his special “pow, pow, POW” combo, as Peter liked to call it.

Unfortunately, before he could safely escape the scene, with the criminals webbed up against the wall, the final “stupidhead” (once again, as Peter liked to call it) attacked him with a swift kick to the stomach.

Shit.

Peter heard the sirens nearly a block away, so he opted to avoid any more conflict by webbing the kicker against the ceiling of the restaurant--stealing away into the city and on the way to the complex.

He remembered the backpack that was so secretly plastered next to the window of Y/N’s bedroom and was quick to change into his street clothes. Practically breaking into her bedroom, Peter was instantly at Y/N’s unconscious side--did her body show where he got hurt also?

Unsure if he was throwing away all of Aunt May’s well-taught respect and manners of “don’t put your hands on a girl unless she says you can and she wants you to,” Peter lifted her shirt to check if she was stabbed as well. Fortunately, either soulmate can have the sensation of pain--not the actual injury itself.

Y/N woke with a start, breaking her eyelids open to see Peter lifting her shirt to check the left side.

“What are you doing?” Y/N flinched away, tearing the material out of his hands.

“I’m sorry--I was checking if you were okay--”

“--people don’t check under other people’s shirts--wait. Am I stabbed?” Y/N went to check herself, only to double take at Peter’s blood stain growing larger by the second.

“Oh my god--stay right there, ok? I’ll go get a first aid kit--holy shit…”

Peter chuckled at her antics, but winced as he realized that...I got stabbed and it’s an open wound and now I’m laughing and oh my god--

“Ok, holyshitok--lay on my bed, please. Lay on your side, with the wound facing me. Also, please take off your shirt,” Y/N took a deep breath, preparing the sutures to properly address the injury. She concentrated, despite her hands shaking horribly. 

“This is going to feel even worse than when I start to sew but you can grab onto something if you need,” Y/N softly spoke, ready to clean, with alcohol, around where the knife had tore into his flesh. Peter nodded, unsure what he could grab onto without breaking her concentration. He opted for her bedsheets, which were slightly wrinkled and smelled like the expensive detergent that often surrounds Y/N--what? Why am I--

Y/N hummed in content and smiled to herself as she finished disinfecting and started to sew. Although Peter was used to his clumsy hands dangerously stitching together his deeper injuries, Y/N’s precision and patience to ensure the least amount of pain almost...put him at peace. She would glance over at him to reassure herself that he wasn’t passed out--though that would make the situation far less intimidating. Here he was, Peter Benjamin Parker, shirtless and occasionally bleeding (though it was far less than before), on Y/N M/N Stark’s bed. When she wasn’t looking at him, Peter would steal glances at the young Stark, appreciating her calm nature in such a scenario like this. On the other hand, when he wasn’t staring at her, Y/N would give a side eye to Peter--who was focusing on the small design on the bedsheets. He recognized the R2-D2 and C-3PO duo that continued across the dimensions of the mattress, tracing the dark outline of each character.

“Ok, I’m almost done. I just need to apply the gauze and the skin adhesive,” Y/N stated, quickly exiting the room to go fetch the proper dressings.

When she came back, Peter was still in the same position--but with stilled breathing and relaxed muscles.

Oh my God, he’s asleep. At least the hard part’s over--I think.

Y/N finished the full treatment for the wounds, briefly waking Peter up to tell him to get changed into some loungewear. He barely obliged, grumpy from having been woken up from his short nap. He pouted like a toddler, wanting to return to the “comfy bed with the nice blankets.” Y/N did her best to not laugh, admiring the adorable nature that came with him. He returned to the bed and Y/N made sure that he was comfortable enough without laying directly on top the wounds. She tried her best to be a better person and reluctantly played with his hair, hearing a small “thank you” in response. Peter fell asleep immediately, exhausted from a mentally and emotionally gruelling day.

Y/N watched as he finally relaxed into his sleep, thankful that she could at least help the superhero everyone loved.

Someday, I will love him. Just not now--not yet. I can’t let you in just yet.

taglist: @mega-bi @lordofblamo @sadstrudel @ispiderdudei @everythingsship @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @annathesillyfriend @mybitchborky @randxmthxughts @dear-selena

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Grace Monroe & The Infinity Train on HBO Max

Disclaimer: Post includes spoilers and also, this viewer does not deem Infinity Train as a children's show and my views are not subjected to the idea that this is a children's show, but I do regard the characters as children.  

I’m not a psychiatrist. I haven’t taken a psychology class in many years. My work with children has been primarily trauma centered children, and I haven’t worked with typical children for a decade, so most of my opinions are from my personal life experience, my work experience, my children’s rights advocacy and activism, and the guidelines from my childcare specialist work for children in the system in the state of Texas. I don’t have a lot of information these days on typical children and I don’t know the culture of children all over the country or world, but I basically know a little something about traumatized children.

And as always, be nice, because I can be mean too (and will). 😉

Special thanks to @i-am-a-passenger for listening to me and being a SOUND sounding board for my thoughts through this experience that was season 3 of Infinity Train.

To be honest, I thought that it was extremely brave of the creators to go the route that they did with the story line. Not everybody can be saved is a take that we don’t see nearly enough, and whenever we do, usually a POC, oftentimes a Black girl is on the losing end of the tale. That didn’t happen here and despite some problems with some of the way that things played out in front of us, it was STILL a monumental moment for many fans and Grace’s redemption arc was valid and reasonable, so I loved it and I live for it. Now, I’m gonna give my review of the season and what I noticed about the characters...

First off, I think that the writing of this season was phenomenal. The style of the way the story was told impressed me from start to finish. There were moments that I didn’t expect, but I understood from a writing standpoint and for the characters presented. I’m not a professional writer, but it’s been a passion since I was 7 years old, so I have some experience with passion for writing and stories and a great narrative is my WEAKNESS, and I do believe that Infinity Train provides great narratives. 

This season has been my favorite thus far. I would have appreciated it for the story content, even if they had switched the characters’ arcs or went in a different direction with the redemption arc, but the fact that I was able to see an example of a Black girl being able to BE HUMAN, at my age - 38 - is still such new content that I was honestly overwhelmed by the simple fact that the creators decided that this Black girl was worthy of not only redemption, but the attention to detail and consideration was enough for me to love this season.   

The girl in question: 18 year old Grace Monroe, whose been on this train for something like 7 years.

It’s rare to see a dark skinned, brown skinned, Black girl with natural hair be shown in anything but stereotypes and/or plot devices for other characters. This character has a story of her own. A beautifully written and fully realized story of a child who got confused, made bad decisions, did terrible things, learned the truth, and sought to change.

Whenever we first meet Grace and Simon, she’s announced as the leader of the Apex, and Simon is announced as her second in command and given the credentials from her, “I trust him with my life.” Something that is later a bittersweet thought as he becomes the biggest threat of her life since she got onto this train. They’re clearly very close and only seem to disagree on how they respond to negativity.

One of my favorite things about Grace was that she was given layers. One of my LEAST favorite things about Grace was that she was given unfair head canons by the fandom extremely early on (all of which nobody ever proved but remained diligently devoted to believing). 

In this season, when the two are taken out of their comfort zone and traveling with outsiders, Grace and Simon are faced with lives that they haven’t thought about previously and wind up choosing very separate paths. Honestly, these paths they went on made perfect sense to me. I see both of them as traumatized children without any guidance and while one of them is very careless and reckless (Grace), the other is deliberate about what he does and has goals and plans. 

The biggest influence, I think, was their interactions with denizens prior to forming the Apex. Grace admittedly never got to know any while Simon was betrayed by one whenever she left him behind to potentially die. Simon carried this rage inside of him while Grace had nothing but apathy to guide her attitude of the denizens. Grace needed attention and she was able to get that from Simon and the Apex, so she made a life built on what that gave her.

While Grace tends to seem to try to sweeten the issue or charm people. Simon is more short with others and a bit rude. They handle things much differently, though they have created a lifestyle together and formatted a society of children that they lead.

All too frequently, if a character looks like Grace, she is there as fodder for whoever her (usually white) counterparts are. But Grace has a unique situation in which she shares center stage with her white male counterpart and we watch them develop together from two peas in a pod to mortal enemies. It is a sad separation, but one that felt necessary for the direction of the story. But here’s why Grace matters so much, despite the fact that she and Simon built a child army and killed we don’t even know how many denizens:

Grace changed for the better. When both of them met and got to know a denizen, she began to change. She didn’t understand it at first and took some time to admit to herself that she was even changing. She thought that something was wrong with her because her number was going down and that wasn’t supposed to be how it was. What she thought was that it made her look weak and she didn’t want Simon or the Apex to see her that way.

And saying that Grace changed for the better is sort of shaky, too. Because Grace wasn’t a bad person to begin with. She was a child who got on the wrong track. Going from being extremely alone to having one friend to having hundreds or however many Apex kids of followers changed her for the worse, but she was a good kid at her core. She was lonely in the real world and she acted out, then wound up on this train, had a life changing event by having to see “The Conductor” and translate what happened to her as someone saving her, and she went on to help save others, or so she thought, to some degree. 

Whenever she saved Simon, she had literally no reason to, other than she saw a kid in trouble and she knew she could help.She had just as little life skills and social skills as this kid in front of her, but... he was crying and she reached out to try to make him feel better, reminding him that even though life on the train was hard, he was alright now. Then, another life changing thing happened - Simon noticed that her number was higher and asked her how she got it so high. She knew just as much as him, and said that she was really good at life on the train, and the way she took that ghom out - she wasn’t completely wrong, but them being children and having only time and their limited views started a cult.

What I found interesting about this memory was the fact that Simon was telling Grace’s story for her. She tagged her charm onto it, but Simon (the writer of their laws and apparently a trilogy that not even Grace, who likes to read things wanted to read while they were besties) is telling the story to the kids. Probably embellishing, and Grace loves to be noticed, so she keeps this up until they’ve formatted an entire belief system. It was basically just I presumed whenever I questioned the reputation this fandom gave Grace as a manipulator who filled Simon’s head with hatred for denizens and Apex theology.It confirmed that people were wrong about her, which unfortunately didn’t make them change their minds, but they ain’t gotta. Grace lived and Simon died and that’s how this turns out sometimes.

I was able to at least acknowledge that his death was atrocious and it’s very unfortunate that he didn’t change for the better. He wanted control. He wanted power. He wanted to reign. Those things were more important to him than believing anything that went against his ideals. They were more important than Grace and his relationship with her. Meanwhile, Grace, up until even after he was gone cared about him. She defended herself whenever he attacked her, but she tried not to hurt him. She even tried to talk to him and he once again refused to listen. She saved his life AGAIN, and he still tried to kill her. Despite it all, when he was gone, she cried. Her friend was gone. Another life had been taken, and life meant something else to her now. 

Even paper birds mattered now, and thanks to that difference inside of her, she didn’t die. But, I expected her to. Not even because it would’ve made sense or helped the story in any way, but because that’s how it usually goes for characters like her, characters who LOOK like her. The fact that it didn’t brought tears to my eyes. This season was amazing. This ending was amazing. This character was amazing. I’m so pleased with it and it was more than I expected, because instead of setting expectations, I let them tell me the story. They did an excellent job.

I've been asking people since she first appeared in season 2 why they thought that Simon was some helpless and she was this dominating figure that bossed him into this lifestyle and mostly it came back to her higher number. i didn't think we were being shown that, so I've been suspicious every time someone has suggested that Grace got Simon started in this or taught him this and now that it's been debunked, I'm even more irritated with the suggestion that her redemption doesn't make sense or wasn't right. 

The thing about Simon was that he seemed fine. He seemed innocent, at times. He seemed like someone to sympathize with... What a lot of his fan base doesn't seem to realize is that is the case with every abuser. That is the case with many killers. Bad backgrounds and hard times coming up don't make for an excuse. Just because I GET his personality, doesn't mean he deserves respect or consideration. But then, we have Grace, on this other end who can't even get the recognition she earned through her decision making when she literally had the same childhood as him whenever they got there. Idk. Shit feels suspicious to me to not acknowledge Grace's redemption as well written. And the idea that Simon was doing these things for or because of Grace was proven as untrue, so there should have been a shift in her favor and there wasn't and my god that's some top shelf bullshit to me...

People frequently speak of Grace's manipulating Simon, possibly because they haven't had to try to use what you have to smooth someone over. The fact that Grace has been consoling Simon since they were children (THEY WERE CHILDREN), Because I see "Simon is a child" everyday, and always speak of his trauma, like Grace had none and like she's not the same age or near it. But, that's another thing that gets done to Black girls - they're aged up in people's prejudiced minds and expected to be more accountable than their peers. This GIRL has been repeatedly blamed for the issues of her friend.

And her "betrayal?" A lie she told to preserve life.

Simon proceeds to use her tape against her, leave her trapped inside of it (knowing it was dangerous, because the cat told him), sow lies about her in the Apex, pressure children that she knew to kill her, literally tried to beat her up and murder her, and kicks her as hard as he can after she saved his life AGAIN... He still gets more grace than Grace from the audience. I don't think people see Grace's humanity. People even assumed that her number was higher because she killed so many denizens... Like literally every wrong move doesn't affect numbers. And when faced with the story, which gives us a vulnerable Grace with flaws but also compassion, she's still been sidelined by fans of the show and nobody has given me any good reason as to why, so you already know, like we been knew. 😒

People have even tried to downgrade Simon's toxicity towards her because she led the Apex (and these people pretty much had similar things to say as people who didn't believe that my ex sexually abused me because of some examples of me being strong while arguing with him)...

THIS was triggering as fuck, but I've barely seen a PEEP about it. I'm going to presume that problematic takes of Grace are from a place of discrimination and dehumanization against another Black girl character like fandoms usually do.

But that just makes her matter more.

Good job, Grace. I knew there was good in you all along, and I didn't have to make up anything about you in my brain. ♥️♥️♥️

*Grace mourning a man that just tried to destroy her multiple times for telling a lie to keep him from killing a small child...

SPEAKING OF... The man double kicked her off that damn train in front of the kids AFTER they all saw her rescue him. Them kids might be messed up because of the Apex, but you can't tell me that Simon ain't further fuck them up with his reign. At least we know Grace was always nice to them. I'm glad they'll have each other to figure it all out.

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 45 - watching notes

I'm at this stage of fandom rn where it's really hard to concentrate on anything else 😅

Every song I listen to gets dissected for how it relates to wangxian

I need to concentrate on my thesis but instead I'm pondering how the untamed raises questions about collectivism vs individualism and how my western perception of that might differ greatly from a native chinese person or even the author's intention

Can't I just write my thesis about THAT?

Alas, I digress ...

Back to our regular programming :D

Last time one Sophie watches the untamed wwx went all Sherlock on us and used his formidable skills of deduction to expose Backpfeifengesicht's plan of killing everyone and blaming it on wwx

I've heard from several people that the next few episodes are their favourites, so no high expectations at all :D

Nobody wipes the blood on their chins away. Might be about the aesthetic

I adore detective-duo-wangxian so much!! Especially because wwx does 99% of the talking but then lwj will chime in with a single word and it's 100% devastating :D

If anyone knows any well written case-fics for these two, please, I need recs! (For after the show)

Backpfeifengesicht makes good one point and that is that jgy already is at the top of the cultivation world. So what does he gain from all this?

Or is it simply that he's afraid of wwx because he's a rebel and might act against him? (Don't answer that. I wanna find out through the show ;))

Wwx just casually revealed that he's been to cloud recess and that he handles went to the restricted section forbidden chamber. What will you do about, Lan Qiren? Huh? 😂

Oooh! Backpfeifengesicht is the ghosted faced man! I thought it was Jiggy himself!!! 😱

That makes way more sense though!

Lan Sizhui! Jin Ling! Oh you brave boys! 😭

Someone hold me 😭

But why does he not take zidian now? He's done so before!

"You little fool!" Is "I love you" in Jiang-Cheng-speak :D

"We're done for! What can we do??" - wwx *strips*

Sorry

Bahahaha 😂😂😂

I just burst out laughing waaay to loudly for the fact that I've got people sleeping in the room next to mine

But look at Lan Qiren when he sees wwx strop to reveal anat is probably his nephew's undershirt 😂😂😂

He's probably questioning every decision that's let him to this point :D

This is completely inconsequential,but I couldn't keep quiet about it anymore because I every time he makes this motion, it always sends a shiver down my spine!!! Notice that wwx (or rather Xiao Zhan) is one of these people whose fingers bend in the opposite direction??? I know it's just a normal thing some people can do, but I can't watch it!! It makes my fingers hurt just looking at it 🙈🙈🙈

Is he turning himself into a demon lure flag?? 😱

Lan Jingyi 🥺🥺🥺

Also does wwx now just transfer his self-sacrificing tendencies to lwj?

Nothing is as hot as these two together in a fight scene

Jiang Cheng doesn't want to leave them behind. He does care! :') he just never unlearned how to unravel his love from his anger

Sizhui running up to greet his dads :')

Look at them! I'm soft guys 💔

He called him Yuan!! 😭😭😭

So this is it. Any doubts I ever had about Sizhui's identity are gone

Will he finally recognize him??

Why don't you say anything lwj? This one time, I beg you!!

Sect Leader Yao still at his gossip shit even 16 years later 🙄

Lam sizhyi is seasick! Why is this so cute! 😭

Oh Wen Ning!! He recognized A-Yuan? Right?

I want to hug Lan Sizhui for his openness and kindness towards everyone he meets, no matter their status or what other people say about them! (Wen Ning now or who he thought was Mo Xuanyu the supposed mad-man) and I wanna hug lan Wangji right after for raising him to be like this :')

Oh Wen Ning! 😭

That's how I'd look at Sizhui, too, if I met him - poor unadulterated wonder :')

And just think about what that means for Wen Ning! He's not the last of the Wens! All their fight wasn't for nothing. This child, their legacy, survived 😭😭😭

"Can I call you A-Yuan" "Of Course." God I'm gonna burst into tears 😭

I'm actually bursting into tears!!

Isn't this the dream of anyone who has ever lost someone? :')

"He's like a brother and father to me" :')

And he raised him from when he was 4 or 5? So ... A-Yuan was about 2 when the Wens died? Right? Then 5 would fit with lwj's 3 year isolation

Ob god, it's the butterfly-toy!!! 😭😭😭

Wen Nings smiling through his tears! I can't! 😭💔And he's got the one from the market!

Aww, wax isn't wearing the white undergarment anymore. Too bad

Oh poor Jin Ling ...

So much grieve that he could probably never process. There so many lost kids in this story, hurt by things they had no control over 😔

I mean, I get it. That's the person who killed his parents (without being in control, but he doesnt know that) and everyone is just talking to him as if it's normal and that didn't happen. But he can't forget,but he doesnt really understand either and he has no outlet. Of course he'd just ... crash 😥

And who would have thought I'd ever try at a flashback of Jin Zixuan's death :(

For once, it'd be nice if the adults actually acted like the parent figures they're supposed to be and explain things to their children 🤦‍♀️

I'm so thankful though, that no one even thinks of scolding him for crying. Jismg Cheng only asked who it was that made him cry (and looks like he'll kick their ass). Generally, thus show has a very healthy attitude towards tears. Most characters cry when they are faced with tragedy, regardless of gender. Men being allowed to have appropriate reactions to grieve (instead of a single men tear or just punching things) is really nice to see

Oh Yao dude whose courtesy name I can't remember, shut up!

Thanks Ouyang Zizhen! You get me

I live for these children standing up to their elders

Meanwhile Nie Huaisang is just on the sidelines, enjoying the show :D never change!

The Lotus Pier theme song alone is making me cry rn 😢

Why can't wen Ning come in?

Oh Sizhui!

He many times do you want to make me cry happy tears today?? :')

Little turnip-baby ❤

But why doesn't lwj say anything ??? 😭

Lan Wangji raised A-Yuan smong a bunch of rabbits??? 😭

Now he's a turnip baby with a taste for carrots, how cute is that? :')

Holy shit, wwx and lwj are really joined at the hip these days of lwj won't enter the hall if wwx isn't allowed to :D

Lwj 😑 "no misbehaviour"

Someone. Knows. Their. Husband.

Okay sorry, but as painful as these cuts must have been and yes, while you do see scars on this prostitute's face, they in no way warrant these horrified gasps as of they had all seen a monster 🙄

Xue yang. Fancy seeing you here in this not at all disturbing sub-plot 😬

Okay that's creepy. That's really creepy

Shouldn't Jin Guangyao have a bit more compassion for these women?

On the other hand, he was born to menacingly stand behind a curtain 🤷‍♀️

W. T. F. ????

Jin Guangshan??? o___O

That's the most skin we've ever seen on this show and it's in a scene like THIS? 😬

THIS IS HOW JIN GUANGSHAN DIED? 😱😱😱

How?

How can you die from sex?

And then jgy made them keep going?

UGH

These poor women :/

So there's someone who set her free on purpose, right?

Bicao has really interesting eyes!

Oh wait, took me some time to catch up. This is about Quin Su and why she killed herself, right?

WHAT??

They were siblings o_O

They just went full game of thrones on this ...

Hey Jin Guangshan, screw you for raping that woman

Wait, is that why jgy had him die like THAT?

I'm so confused about how that happened btw

But why would Jin Guangyao merry quin su anyway? Was this some kind of political marriage that he couldn't call off?

This episode answered some of my questions but raised about a dozen more 😅

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose

5 episodes to go. I'm both happy because I can't wait to brows the untamed tag without looking for spoilers and extremely sad 🥺

Right now I'm planning to watch one episode each day until friday and then watch the last two on Saturday, hopefully quite early, so I can spend the rest of the day crying my eyes out over it, without having to worry about such trivial things as being a functioning adult or a responsible student 😅

[zxanthe]

jealousy

for @soulxmakaweek day 3: jealousy

also available on ao3 and ff.net

side note: The Soul Eater manga was first released in 2004.

It isn’t that Soul is jealous, exactly.

Maka is, beneath the know-it-all and vaguely homicidal exterior, a kind person. It’s one of the things he likes most about her. He remembers the first time he played the piano for her – it feels like a lifetime ago, now – how she’d smiled and clapped after he finished, even though he knew she didn’t get it, really. But the wonder sparkling there in her green eyes, the open and gut-wrenching genuineness of the delight and enjoyment brazenly plastered on her face – no one had ever looked at him like that in his whole entire life, and even though he didn’t let it show he knew right then and there he’d follow this girl to the ends of the earth if she asked him to.

When she enfolds Crona in an embrace instead of dealing a killing blow, he doesn’t bother trying to keep the fond smile off his face, because that’s so typical of her. Always taking in strays.

So that’s why he wonders if it’s the madness, not just in him but in the world now that the Kishin Asura is free and raging, that makes a hard knot of something nagging and awful weigh in his chest like a stone when he sees Maka and Crona together. The Little Demon doesn’t help at all, always whispering ugly little nothings in the quiet in-between moments when he’s brushing his teeth or picking at the guitar he keeps on the wall of his room, things like she only cares about your weapon form you know and she loves them more than she ever loved you and (worst of all) she’s going to realize who you are and leave.

(It’s not like he isn’t used to people leaving. His father left him in all but name, preferring to shut himself up in his studio rather than deal with his children. His brother left him to go to college and make a name for himself. His grandmother left the planet entirely, going wherever dead people go.)

But he knows, deep down in his gut, that Maka isn’t like that. She takes her commitments seriously. She’s his meister, and he’s her weapon. He has to trust her. Has to trust that she wouldn’t leave him unless something bad happened. Something really, really bad.

Like a new best friend? the demon whispers, not bothering to hide the malicious glee in his voice. Soul just grits his teeth and tells him to shut the fuck up.

(He doesn’t want to resent either of them, despite the demon’s urgings and his own idiot, uncool feelings.)

But he can’t deny the reality - it feels like she spends more time with Crona than him nowadays. Soul isn’t exactly averse to that, but it still rankles, because Maka used to spend most of her time with him, or at least around him. But the kid’s had a hard life, harder than his by a long shot, and someone like Maka is good for them. In the short time they’ve been at the DWMA, Soul’s noticed them coming out of their shell a little more each day. It makes him wonder if he was something like that when he first arrived, fresh from New York, a fish out of water.

So that’s why, when Maka invites Crona over for a movie night one Friday after classes, he doesn’t object, despite the way his chest tightens a little.

“I-is that okay?” Crona asks, darting nervous glances towards Soul, who’s standing a little ways behind Maka. He doesn’t really know Crona all that well yet. The sentiment is mutual. Soul cringes inwardly, equal parts ashamed and nervous and just a little satisfied, damn it damn it not cool at all!

“’Course it is,” Soul makes himself say, and hopes that nobody notices the way his voice threatens to crack. “It’s Maka’s turn to cook, though, so you might wanna, uh. Eat beforehand.”

Maka rounds on him, her green eyes narrowed. “At least I don’t burn freaking rice!”

“Yeah, yeah, I was making a joke. Is that a crime?”

“Well, it wasn’t very funny.” She turns back to Crona with a roll of her eyes. “Anyway, tonight at 7 sound good? We can meet you at the Skullbuster.”

“Um…will there be many other p-people there? Besides you and…S-Soul?”

Maka shakes her head and smiles reassuringly. “No, don’t worry. I know large get-togethers still stress you out. It’ll just be us three.”

Crona darts one more glance at Soul. He’d smile, but his face feels like wood and his teeth would probably scare the kid half to death. He settles for a nod instead. One cool guy to another. Crona smiles hesitantly. “Yeah. That s-sounds great.”

“You good?” Maka asks him, once they’re outside the school and have said their goodbyes to their friends.

He shoots her a questioning look. “Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You just felt a little off earlier, that’s all,” she says.

Damn her and her soul perception. Soul just shakes his head. “Maybe your soul perception is just malfunctioning.”

She whaps him with the paperback she’s carrying in her hand. “Rude!”

“Ow, fuck you too!”

They walk down to the Skullbuster after Maka finishes cooking, leaving a plate of brownies cooling on the counter and a foil tray of mac n’ cheese being kept warm in the oven. Soul doesn’t think he’ll ever get over their whacko naming conventions in Death City – did they really have to replace the classic Blockbuster logo with a lurid blue and yellow skull biting a movie ticket with its cartoonishly sharp teeth? No, no they didn’t, but they did anyway, so here they fucking are. Soul shoots it a cautious look – it’s definitely more interesting than the usual, all things considered. Crona’s already waiting for them directly beneath the sign, a tall slim figure in their black – robe? Dress? Soul still isn’t sure what to make of it. He raises his hand in a wave as Maka calls out a greeting and bounds over to give them a hug. Soul ignores the twinge in his chest, gritting his teeth at the echo of laughter he hears from the demon.

Crona still looks spooked at the contact, but at least they raise their arms and pat her awkwardly on the back this time. Progress. Soul offers them a fist. Crona looks at it uncomprehendingly.

“Fistbump,” says Soul. Jesus, poor kid. “You make your hand into a fist – yeah, like that, now tap it with mine.”

Crona does so, feather-light and hesitant. Soul offers them a smile and then withdraws his fist, wiggling his fingers as he does so. Crona imitates him, awkwardly and with a slight frown.

“See, easy,” says Soul, cringing inwardly. He shouldn’t have done the finger wiggle, dammit, Crona wouldn’t get it and it just made them feel weird, ugh, why is he like this?

Maka, meanwhile, is smiling at the display. She reaches for Crona’s hand, easily, naturally, and leads them into the store. Soul trails after them, trying valiantly to ignore the way the knot in his chest aches.

“So, whatcha wanna watch?” Maka asks Crona, whose eyes widen in fear in the face of making an evening-altering decision.

“It’s okay,” says Maka gently. “Soul and I are fine with whatever you pick, right Soul?”

“Yeah,” Soul says, though secretly he’s hoping that Crona doesn’t pick a kids’ movie or a rom-com or something boring like that. He’d probably end up falling asleep, and then Maka’d get pissed at him, and he’d probably be woken up by a hardcover to the head.

“Take your time!” says Maka. “Dinner’s already ready, we’re in no rush.”

Crona nods but seems content to follow Maka around the store as she drifts from section to section. They gently shake their head at all the titles Maka holds up – mostly cheesy feel-good flicks or (dammit Maka) live-action Disney movies. Soul’s eye is caught by the horror section, and after a quick glance at the other two he drifts towards it. There’s a lot of DVDs on the shelves – they really need to get a DVD player, this is ridiculous – but there’s still plenty of VHS tapes. He hunkers down into a squat, examining some more recent titles, when Crona’s voice comes from above him, startling him in its proximity.

“How about that one?” they ask, and Soul looks up to see them holding a notoriously gory and barf-inducing horror film. Soul hasn’t seen it personally, but he’s heard the stories.

Soul quirks an eyebrow. “You sure about that?” he asks, at the same time that Maka says “Uh, I’m not sure you’d like it very much…”

“I want this one,” Crona says, a note of certainty in their voice. Soul suppresses a grin, seeing Crona in a new light. Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all.

They pick out two other movies, an action flick and some kind of weird documentary (palate cleansers, Soul thinks), before heading back to the apartment. Ragnarok erupts from Crona’s back at the mention of dinner and is only kept from devouring both his and his meister’s share by Maka angrily wielding her heaviest dictionary. They don’t talk much because everyone’s too busy eating. Soul won’t admit it, but Maka makes a mean mac n’ cheese. Even Crona goes back for seconds. Afterwards Maka grabs the plate of brownies and they all drift into the living room and settle on the couch, Maka in the middle.

“Oh, damn!” Maka exclaims as soon as her butt touches the cushions. “I forgot to get popcorn! I’m going to run down to the convenience store – don’t you dare eat all those brownies, Ragnarok, or I will kill you!”

The door slams shut. “Stupid bitch,” Ragnarok mutters, and starts hassling Crona for a brownie. Crona, surprisingly, holds their ground, and eventually Ragnarok subsides back into Crona, grousing all the while.

The apartment is suddenly too quiet. Blair is out, Soul thinks, glancing around in mild panic. Crona doesn’t say anything.

Put them in their place, the demon growls. Soul clenches his hand into a fist, nails digging into the skin of his palm.

“So, uh,” Soul begins, and then stops, because he has no idea where he’s going with this. He shoots a quick glance at Crona. They’re not looking at him, and instead are pressed against the hard metal arm of the sofa.

Something in Soul softens. “Hey,” he tries again. Crona’s eyes dart to his before flitting back to their lap. Inwardly, Soul grimaces. He’s never been the best at talking to people or making friends, not like Maka. “Uh, did you manage to get all your homework done today?”

Ugh. Lame, stupid, uncool!

“N-no,” says Crona softly.

“Eh, no biggie,” Soul says, trying for jocular and coming out strained. “You’ve still got a whole weekend.”

Silence falls again. The remote is on the coffee table, beside the brownies. Soul wonders if he should grab it and turn on the TV. Something, anything to diffuse this awkwardness. Soul notices out of the corner of his eye that Crona keeps glancing at him now, like they want to say something but can’t quite manage it. Soul sucks on his bottom lip. Maybe he should –

“Do you hate me?” Crona blurts.

Soul flinches, startled and ashamed in equal measure. “No, why would I,” he says, before his brain catches up with his mouth and he looks down at his chest, at the scar covered by the soft cotton of his t-shirt. It’s still a bit pink and raw, and it aches if he stretches his torso too much in any direction. He looks at Crona. “No,” he repeats, quieter this time.

Crona stares at him uncomprehendingly. “B-but I…” They make a slashing motion. Their hand is trembling slightly, Soul notes.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “And I’d do it all over again.” He smiles, and it’s more genuine than any he’s given Crona thus far. “That shit’s in the past. You’re here now, and you’re trying to be better. It’s the soul that counts, y’know?”

“S-so…you don’t hate me?”

“Not at all,” Soul says. “I’m a lot like you, actually. People scare me too.”

Crona blinks. “R-really?”

Soul nods. “Yeah. I used to live in New York. When I first got off the plane I was scared shitless, didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. And now I feel more at home here than I ever did there.”

They’re listening raptly, and when Soul finishes, they swallow. “How…how did you…stop being scared?”

“I never did. But Maka and Black Star and the others are a big help.” He chuckles fondly. He feels lighter. The demon is quiet. “It’s what friends are for.”

When Maka comes back, Soul and Crona are chatting easily and munching on brownies. They greet her and she smiles, evidently happy that they’re getting along. When she returns from the kitchen with an overflowing bowl of popcorn, Crona shifts so that they’re sitting in the middle of Maka and Soul. Ragnarok emerges to gorge himself on popcorn and brownies while Soul pops the horror tape in the VHS.

The movie is so gory that it makes even Soul and Maka’s battle-hardened stomachs turn, but Crona and Ragnarok seem to be enjoying themselves. They make it through the documentary and about one-third of the action flick before Crona falls asleep on Soul’s shoulder.

“They seem like they’ve really warmed up to you,” Maka says quietly over Crona’s head. “What did you guys talk about when I was gone?”

Soul shrugs. “Nothing much, really.”

“That so?”

“Yeah.”

Maka just shakes her head and smiles.

[tessatechaitea]

Justice League #1 (1987)

This is actually a more impressive line-up than I remember.

I'm pretty sure this line-up is a huge scam. I don't remember Doctor Fate interacting too much with this group and I think Shazam bows out fairly quickly. Batman probably does that thing where he acts like he's leader (even if Martian Manhunter actually is) and only helps out every sixth mission. So at that point, the line-up is already decreasing in strength and intimidation factor quickly. Adding Fire, Ice, and Booster Gold later won't really improve the team much. But I'm getting ahead of myself. My impressions from this initial cover were "Wow! Pretty interesting team!" and "What asshole fucking decided on the shit stencil font for the title?" Sorry, I cuss a lot when I'm writing on the Internet and trying to seem like a bad-ass. The issue begins with Guy Gardner calling the other Green Lanterns jerks and suggesting, to himself, that he should be the Commander-in-Chief of the new Justice League. Some people would read this first page and think, "What an arrogant fucking asshole." But my stomach got all queasy and I giggled a little bit and I muttered quietly under my breath, "I love him."

I'm not saying it isn't composed of some truly ridiculous aspects but Guy still has the best costume in the DC Universe.

I don't love everything about Guy Gardner because most writers at the time didn't truly understand him. They made him a jerk that nobody would like because they were too cold-hearted to see the brain damaged cool guy that he really was. Guy Gardner often needed to be written by somebody who loved the character; it would have done him a world of good. He could still have been that abrasive jerk. But written deftly, those who actually cared to take the time would see his true self. Sure, that would also be an abrasive jerk! But a little bit more likable!

Stallone was pretty sensitive in a few scenes in Rocky IV!

Black Canary is second to arrive, after which Mister Miracle and Oberon show up. I never quite understood how Oberon fit into the Justice League. Wasn't he like an agent or a manager? Did Batman and Martian Manhunter need Oberon to sign off on every mission or else Scott Free would have to remain behind? I bet he was included just so Giffen and DeMatteis could make dwarf jokes.

Why would Guy choose Sneezy?! Oberon's breathing has been impeccable since he arrived!

Normally after some kind of cynical prediction about the comic book that immediately is proved true, I'd write, "Grandmaster Comic Book Reader!" But it doesn't feel right to say it in this case. I mean, Oberon is present for four panels before he becomes the butt of a joke based on his diminutive nature. And by Guy Gardner, no less! Is this why I loved him so much at sixteen?! What a terrible and typical sixteen year old white heterosexual male I was! Black Canary (whose costume I'm just now noticing is really fucking weird) responds to Guy's awful behavior by saying, "Dozens of GLs around and we get 'Rambo' with a ring!" That's unfair to Rambo! I'm also unsure who in this story (including the writers of this story) have actually seen First Blood. Gardner is more like the authority mad Sheriff Teasle than the sensitive green beret John Rambo! Rambo should be admired as a hero, battling back against corrupt cops who think they have the right to use as much force as they want for any stupid fucking reason! It's possible they were talking about the Rambo from the second film who gets to kill more than one person because the people he's killing are Russians and Vietnamese. He does get a bit murder crazy in the second film. Or maybe they're talking about Rambo from the third film which wasn't actually out yet so I don't have to read up on it. Next to arrive are Captain Marvel, Blue Beetle, and Martian Manhunter. Martian Manhunter proves to be a buzzkill, reminding everybody how the old series ended in total death and disaster.

His view of the media is pretty spot on though.

J'onn calls up the files of Steel, Gypsy, Vixen, and Vibe before purging them completely from the Justice League computer. That's probably a good idea, like deleting old joke tweets on Twitter that were a bit racist and also boring. Meanwhile Maxwell Lord IV watches from a distance, doing that Ozymandias thing where you watch dozens of televisions at once. I think it proves you're a genius whose done the research and contemplated all sides of an issue before making up your totally rational and logical mind about any issue. As opposed to us losers who simply use compassion and empathy to almost immediately understand the correct and most ethical path to take. Maxwell Lord IV watches all of this television and decides the correct course to take is to leave the "America" off of the Justice League of America this time. Oh, and also the "of".

Maybe this is why I liked Guy so much: because he knew the saying was "you've got another think coming." Look, I'm going to be desperately finding good reasons to have liked Guy Gardner so much when Giffen and DeMatteis are this determined to make him a huge and unlikable jerk.

Look, I was sixteen! Hardly the best time in a young man's life for qualities like compassion and empathy and fashion sense and hair styles! I'm also fairly certain it wasn't this comic book that made me like him so much. I'm pretty sure he gets knocked out by Batman with one punch before the year is over and I remember loving that scene. So I probably despised him like a good reader of Justice League was supposed to do. Hopefully he'll have some character moments during this series that will show why I wound up liking him so much as a character. Right now, he's just a complete and utter asshole. The five panels following the one I just scanned consist of Guy once again calling Oberon "Sneezy" and then suggesting Black Canary is going to want to fuck him soon enough. Martian Manhunter tries to break it up and just winds up part of the chaos.

Okay, I'm starting to get why I might have liked him at sixteen, even after the first few pages. To a sixteen year old white male, mocking Martian Manhunter with a "Ho-ho-ho" trumps ableism, sexism, and, with this attack on J'onn for his inherent physical Martianness, almost certainly racism as well.

Guy continues to play the role of Squeaky Wheel for another page or two. I suppose if you want more on-panel time than the other heroes, you've got to be a raging asshole. I can't say I'm not entertained by it!

Captain Marvel earns a little of my love with this line as well. No shame in drinking warm milk at night!

This is only nine pages into the first issue and Guy has completely derailed the formation of the new Justice League. Was this blasphemy to previous fans of the Justice League where the team may have had some minor squabbles about various things and Batman would quit every six issues but mostly they didn't break out into brawls whenever they got together? Or were internal struggles and arguments a regular plot point? I have no idea because the only Justice League comics I read previous to this title were the terrible months where everything was breaking down and then Steel betrayed them and Vibe was killed off and Martian Manhunter felt like a huge failure. Although was Aquaman leading the team at the time? I dislike Aquaman so much, I'm just going to believe he was leading the team and that's why everything completely fell apart. He sucks. Once per day, I think about that lousy meme trying to prove Aquaman wasn't useless by using the image from New 52 Justice League where he controls a bunch of great whites to breach and kill a bunch of parademons and I hate everybody who actually thought that was a cool moment. Batman and Doctor Fate arrive in the middle of the Justice League brawl (which even Martian Manhunter, the only adult in the room, is taken part in) and shuts shit down The Batman way.

I guess heroes are also a cowardly lot.

Meanwhile, Doctor Light winds up being held hostage with the rest of the United Nations by some white terrorists. I felt I needed to say they were white because a lot of racist assholes can only envision terrorists one way. Also, I should always describe people as white when they're white since I don't want to be an accomplice to maintaining a world where we assume a person mentioned is white, male, and heterosexual unless they're described more fully. Doctor Light was given a Justice League emergency beeper by a mysterious figure some time previously. This isn't revealed but I just read Justice League Spectacular #1 so I know Maxwell Lord gave her the device so that she could alert the Justice League when the United Nations was taken hostage by terrorists that Maxwell Lord IV paid. It's all about getting some early press! There's an advert for the new Flash which I'm surprised I didn't pick up since the advert shows him having some kind of accident in a sperm bank.

Ew Flash is right!

The Justice League head over to stop the terrorist attack. At some point, Doctor Fate disappears to go do something else and I think he never comes back? Is that why I barely remember him as a part of this league? Was he just there to look cool on the cover and fool all the lovers of DC magic users? The League storms the UN, murdering several terrorists.

Look. Manhunter either phased their heads into the solid ceiling or he smashed their skulls straight through the roof. Either way, I don't see a high percentage chance of their survival.

The Justice League capture all the terrorists and then Batman has the building evacuated, leaving just the leader of the terrorists alone in the United Nations building threatening to kill himself so that the bomb attached to his heart would detonate and kill them all. He does kill himself but the bomb doesn't detonate. And the thing is, Batman realized during the mission that the bomb was almost certainly a bluff. So he left the man alone to kill himself. Later we discover the man had a history of mental illness. So this, to Batman, is justice? Batman almost certainly realized the man was being manipulated and that he'd definitely kill himself to blow the bomb and Batman let the man do it. Batman is a fucking monster. After the event, the media points out that the terrorists were mostly composed of 60s radical groups like the Weathermen and the Black Panthers. Which is odd because there wasn't one black terrorist in the bunch. The issue ends with Max Lord talking to himself and admitting to being the one who staged the terrorist attack. He also knew the leader was unstable enough to kill himself for the cause and he sent him in with a bomb that definitely wouldn't blow. So he's a fucking monster as well. And Martian Manhunter is a monster, not because he's a weirdo martian, but because he basically popped the heads on a few of the terrorists. No way will I believe those guys hanging from the ceiling by their necks survived! All in all, Guy Gardner is starting to look like a rational member of this group! Justice League #1 Rating: B+. A better than average start to the new Justice League, building some intrigue and conflict right from the start. Who is Max Lord? What are his plans for the Justice League? Why is he acting like it's his group? Will Doctor Fate ever return? Will Oberon poison Guy Gardner? Will Black Canary and Doctor Light become best friends because they're the only women in the League? Will Guy Gardner and Batman ever come to blows? I can answer that! They will not! They'll just come to blow. One punch by Batman. And that one punch causes some severe psychological trauma to Gardner and nobody thinks he should get medical help simply because he starts acting nicer. They're all fucking monsters!

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #226: AN EYE FOR AN EYE

December, 1982

“Beware the -- EVIL EYE!”

Okay but which one though?

Because I’m pretty sure that Black Knight is carrying the Evil Eye but Balor probably has a pretty evil eye. Plus, that title.

I like the black/white tv static like background for this. I dunno why but it feels very fitting for whats going on.

That has been ART COMMENTARY with me.

Last time on Avengers, the Avengers were minding their own business when Dr. Druid burst into their meeting, hypnotized them, and kidnapped the team minus Iron Man by shooting smoke out of his chest eye.

The Avengers ended up in Crusade Times in Avalon where Black Knight and Amergin needed help fighting the Fomor of Irish mythology who were awfully mad that Amergin did a colonialism to them.

The team managed to kick some Fomor ass for the most part after they applied the barest amount of strategy (although the Fomor Dres escaped through Amergin’s eyes) but then biggest, buffest Fomor Balor was freed and he wiped out She-Hulk and Thor in a blink. Also, Dres escaped to the present day and he’s going to kill Dr. Druid! -crickets- Which will strand the Avengers in the past times forever!! -crowd gasp-

Are Thor and She-Hulk totally dead forever? Can anyone stop Dres from conquering the future aside from the one thousand other superheroes?

No and yes.

This time:

... That’s an unbearably smug Hawkeye on that pillar of team roster. 

Dres gloats to a trancing Dr. Druid because villains love to hear themselves talk. And also love a captive audience. And aren’t too fussed about active listening.

Dres: “You were a fool, Doctor Druid! You sought to ensure the safety of this world -- but instead you have sealed your own destruction! Who can help you now? The Avengers? They battle my demonic brethren in legendary Avalon, eight centuries gone! The golden one -- in the grip of the hypnotic trance you placed him into? You yourself, who are in a trance that allows you to sustain a mystical path to the past -- through which I came to this time! Why waste breath? He is insensate, and unaware of the danger that overwhelms him! By his death, I will trap the Avengers forever in the past -- and unleash my power on this unsuspecting world!”

I like how he becomes self-aware of how pointless it is to do a villain rant to a guy who can’t hear you and then just keeps going anyway.

Anyway, here’s why you don’t do that, if you’re a villain.

(This is a free tip to any aspiring villains out there)

Thor and She-Hulk just pop into existence randomly just as Bres is finally going to actually do something.

She-Hulk mentions that they were just fighting a one-eyed giant which lets Bres put together that they were fighting Balor and why they’re here now.

Bres: “A giant? My cousin Balor, no doubt, whose glance disrupts all spells -- including that which held you in Avalon!”

And then instead of just killing Dr. Druid when he has the chance (Thor and She-Hulk aren’t even looking at him when they appear), Dres runs over and clocks Thor right in his face.

(Another free tip for aspiring villains here: do not clock Thor in the face)

Sooooooo, I’m of two minds here.

I expected Iron Man being left behind in a hypnotized trance was for this. That he’d come to somehow and stop Dres.

On the other hand, Thor and She-Hulk appearing out of nowhere to fight this guy because Balor inadvertently screwed over his cousin’s plans is pretty hilarious.

Also, pretty lucky that the time-travel spell was disrupted first, snapping Thor back to the future. If Thor had been fighting Balor on his own time, who knows what his malefic stare would have done to the enchantments on Mjolnir.

That’s a fun plot bunny.

Anyway, you wouldn’t think that Bres could stand for long against both Thor and She-Hulk. Thor was kicking Elathan’s ass and Elathan was the boss Fomor.

But Bres blasts She-Hulk away and then uses magic to tear Mjolnir from Thor’s grasp. Without Mjolnir, Bres and Thor are on more equal footing. Also that whole thing where Thor is going to turn into a powerless mortal in sixty seconds, which will put them on very much unequal footing.

She-Hulk decides she’s useless in a god fight, based on how much a glancing blast hurt. So she ducks behind Iron Man and uses her unconscious teammate as cover.

Pretty cold, She-Hulk!

But then she notices that Bres’ magic is splashing off Iron Man like magic water off an iron duck.

So she has a really good idea.

She picks up the unconscious Iron Man and throws him at Bres.

I’ve changed my mind. I’m glad that things shook out exactly this way.

So Iron Man hits Bres in the ass like a missile at about the same time Thor punches him in the shoulder.

Under this synchronized and silly assault, Bres folds like a sack of potatoes, with Iron Man slumped on top of him.

With Bres out cold, his spell keeping Mjolnir away fades, letting Thor retrieve his favorite hammer.

Looking ahead, Iron Man doesn’t show up for the rest of the issue and neither does Bres so I assume they just leave Iron Man laying on top of Bres to keep him out of trouble for the rest of the story.

Iron Man is going to have a bunch of questions when he wakes up.

Despite taking care of Bres, Thor realizes that they can’t go back in time to help the other Avengers because Dr. Druid remains entranced. So they’ve got to sit on their thumbs and hope that the Avengers do okay without their two strongest members.

Well they’re doing.

Not quite okay but not dying either. That’s pretty good against Balor.

Hawkeye has the bright idea to shoot Balor in the one eye with a smoke arrow so he’ll stop shooting death beams at them.

I don’t mean for that to sound sarcastic, it really is a bright idea.

Meanwhile, in the halls of Avalon (considerably less cool than the ones of Justice), Black Knight is ditching the plan to go help the Avengers and Amergin is unhappy.

But Black Knight is like nuts to your happiness, it was Black Knight’s idea to bring in the Avengers so he’s not going to watch them fight alone just because Amergin says so!

He has a flying horse! He can do what he waaaaaaaaaaaants!

And he takes off on the flying horse, which is something he has.

Amergin: “Your chivalry will be the death of us all!”

Hey, that’s no way to talk about a man with a sweet flying horse.

Black Knight and his sweet flying horse arrive in time to see Balor randomly blasting the ground and complaining because the Avengers are no fun.

Balor: “Puny flesh-things annoy Balor! Balor lives for fighting! If you will not fight -- go away!”

Balor is a guy of diminishing returns. He’ll never be cooler than that moment right when he wiped She-Hulk and Thor from existence while barely noticing he did it.

The fact that we’ve seen them pop up unharmed doesn’t help.

Black Knight attacks Balor, assuming he killed the Avengers and he wants to avenge the Avengers because if the Avengers need avenging someone needs to avenge the Avengers.

And Black Knight gets almost instantly slapped off his sweet flying horse because its Black Knight.

The Avengers were fine. They dove into the mud to hide from Balor but now they have to launch into Emergency Rescue Procedure which is something they’ve totally practiced! And its totally a procedure they specifically have for situations where they only have Wasp, Hawkeye, and Captain America.

Because its PRETTY SPECIFIC.

Hawkeye shoots two parachute arrows (Something that he just has, why question it? Its like Batman’s utility belt in his quiver) to slow Black Knight’s fall.

Wasp buzzes around Balor to distract him because being small and vaguely distracting is something she’s practiced around 200 issues for.

And Cap jumps up and catches Black Knight to further slow his fall.

They specifically have this specific emergency rescue procedure in case a man dressed as a medieval knight is falling off a flying horse due to a giant cyclops. For this specific situation.

Anyway, the sweet flying horse is doing fine too. Nobody needed to catch Valinor. He took care of himself.

On Black Knight’s suggestion the Avengers do a strategic retreat, all piling on Valinor and flying away as Balor shakes his fist and wonders who he’ll fight now.

Valinor doesn’t look thrilled at carrying three grown men, to be honest.

He deserves to be a Pet Avenger for his hard work but alas. No respect for Valinor.

Elathan and the rest of the Fomor creep out of wherever they were hiding and Elathan presents Balor with an offer.

Elathan: “Join with us, monster, and you’ll have fights for the picking, as many as you want!”

He tells Balor that there’s a whole new world beyond Avalon that they can raze and that Balor can destroy to his heart’s content.

Mmmmmmmm. I don’t like this. If Elathan can just talk Balor into joining the Fomor then all the build-up about how Balor was too dangerous to friend as well as foe kind of falls flat.

I’d really have preferred something where Balor becomes a third side unto himself plus maybe Cethlann as the Fomor and the Avengers have to sort of work around him.

But we get what we get.

Balor’s much smaller wife Cethlann tries to tell Balor to not trust Elathan but Dulb and Indech threaten to stab her much if she doesn’t shut up.

Poor Cethlann. Sure she’s evil but also she has no friends on team evil and her own husband is barely aware of her.

And of course Elathan is planning to betray both Balor and Cethlann after they win because villains be like that.

This is a whole lot of Fomor interpersonal drama info we’re getting in these two issues.

Meanwhile, within Avalon, Hawkeye is throwing a mini-tantrum about how bad things went.

Hawkeye: “Face it, Avengers! We blew it! Those Fomor clowns have us outnumbered and outpowered!”

Captain America: “We’re not finished yet, Clint -- and I’ve seen more than one apparent loser win the war!”

Geez, Clint. Settle down.

Amergin agrees. Particularly because the Avengers have played their unknowing part in his secret master plan perfectly. I mean, except for the part where Thor and She-Hulk died*.

(*They’re just fine, true believers)

But the plan always was for the Avengers to force the Fomor to release Balor because Amergin’s Evil Eye looking weapon needed a power source to power it and Balor is just the one.

No clue how the Avengers would react to being manipulated like this because the Fomor start attacking again and Amergin plops to the floor and then teleports away to confront them.

Outside the gates of Avalon, Balor’s DEATH BEAMS are making short work of Avalon’s defenses.

Then Amergin shows up standing on top of the walls, waving the Evil Eye, and telling the Fomor to get off his lawn. Well, basically.

Amergin: “Do not seek to taunt me, Elathan! Once I drove you and all your allies before me, and one could resist my might! Do you wish to see that day again?”

Elathan is like ‘yeah well you’re old’ and has Balor strike him down with an EYE BEAM.

Elathan: “Farewell, old enemy! None will mourn your passing!”

Ice cold, Elathan.

But, nah, Amergin isn’t dead so easily. In fact, This Is All According To Plan.

He climbs out of some rubble holding an Evil Eye which now glows with an awesome power.

And when Balor tries to EYE BEAM him again, Amergin absorbs Balor’s power into the Evil Eye.

Amergin: “You have always placed too much stock in your supposed power, Fomor! I too have loved power too much -- but I am wise enough to turn an enemy’s strength against him!”

Balor finally seems aware of Cethlann, asking her to make the pain stop. Cethlann, being Cethlann and not here to be helpful, points at whats happening and starts talking about how screwed they all are.

Elathan tries to jump the distracted Amergin but he is a noun and therefore when he opposes Captain America’s mighty shield, he must yield.

Even if he didn’t know that he was opposing Captain America’s mighty shield. Thems the rules.

Elathan decides ‘hey fuck this human a little bit’ and uses magic to make the Earth start growing up around Cap. As he’s swallowed up, he throws his shield at nothing.

The Avengers end up squaring up against the Fomor. And to Hawkeye’s irritation, he ends up facing Dulb again.

Wasp tries to block the tathlum balls but. Yeah. They’re still magic and dodge around her just to mess with Hawkeye.

Meanwhile, Black Knight realizes how stupid this entire plan was.

Black Knight: “This isn’t working out -- I was stupid to get the Avengers mixed up in this! What happened to Hercules, Iron Man, the Vision, the Scarlet Witch... all the people who were Avengers when I was a member? That’s who I wanted!”

Huh! That’s a good point. Black Knight would have no idea who the current Avengers would be and that line-up would have been a lot stronger for this situation.

(Of course, Iron Man is on the team. He just can’t join because magic reasons)

Black Knight goes to save Captain America but when Captain America throws his mighty shield, all who oppose his shield must yield. Including the Earth.

When he threw his shield at nothing he was really planning a ricochet to free himself.

Good work, Cap.

Meanwhile elsewhere on the battlefield, Amergin is still absorbing Balor. And he’s so totally focused on draining every drop of Balor’s power that he has no defenses against Elathan zaming him in the back from behind. Which is exactly what happens.

Meanwhile meanwhile, Wasp comes up with a plan to turn the tide of the fight. And as a side-benefit, make Hawkeye’s day a little less annoying.

She dzats Dulb in the face to get him pissed at her and throw his tathlum balls.

AND THEN SHE FLIES INTO TETHRA’S MOUTH

Thank god this isn’t the ultimate universe.

Anyway, this makes the tathlum balls hit Tethra right in the face and knock him on his ass.

So, on the one hand. Very effective plan and good thinking, Jan.

On the other hand, that’s gross. That’s gross what you just did.

Black Knight notices Elathan attacking Amergin. Cap tells him to go help the wizard while Cap holds off the other Fomor.

And then Cap immediately runs away.

Because he needs to think of a plan. Unluckily, one presents itself.

Cethlann is lurking around the wall of Avalon and when Cap runs by she grabs his foot.

Cethlann: “Not so fast, human! Cethlann wants to play with you!”

Cap thinks off his foot and flipkicks her into gooey, gooey Indech, gumming both Fomor up. Neither of them are thrilled by this.

Also, Cap, don’t be rude.

Over at Amergin, Elathan decides it will be both hilarious and ironic to leech Amergin’s life, as the wizard was draining Balor.

Black Knight jumps in to save Amergin, his cursed sword reflecting Elathan’s magic. Which is a handy feature. I had thought the Ebony Sword’s curse mostly thirsted for blood and made Black Knight brood. Anti-magic is a significantly nicer feature.

Elathan has a counter-plan though! Black Knight’s arms are going to get tired eventually and when they do, Elathan is gonna git him!

But Amergin realizes that he’s lost the Eye and that Balor has found the Eye. And Balor wants his power back and obviously thinks that the Evil Eye works like one of those Capri Sun drink pouches and just tries to squeeze the power out. Into his mouth.

Even though Amergin tells him not to do this thing!

Anyway, yeah. It explodes.

That’s not how Evil Eyes work and it explodes.

Balor is disintegrated by this (and oof Cethlann in the background looking distraught at her husband’s death).

The Fomor take off for the portal to Crusade Era Earth, telling the Avengers that they stand no chance with Amergin dead, because he’s probably totally dead, forever.

Black Knight finds Amergin (who is dying and not quite dead) while Wasp tells the Avengers to Assemble. To the portal to stop the Fomor.

Hawkeye thinks its a little cold to just leave Amergin to die but Cap points out that they can’t really do anything for him that Black Knight couldn’t.

Although, I’d argue that with Black Knight’s anti-magic cursed sword, he should head to stop the Fomor and someone, probably Hawkeye, should stay behind to do last aid. But it’d be a dick move to suggest that so lets let it be.

Black Knight digs Amergin out of the rubble and the dying druid wizard tells him that he won’t last the hour but that there’s still hope.

As catastrophically dumb it was that Balor tried to squeeze the Balor power out of the Balor sucking device, it did the trick. Balor has been completely converted into energy and is stored in the Eye.

Except its too much power and now whoever uses the Evil Eye will be destroyed.

Black Knight: “I’m just borrowing this body, Amergin -- my real body is stone rubble eight centuries away! Tell me what to do -- I’ll do it!”

.... I’d argue that the fact that you’re not in your own body means you shouldn’t be so quick to sacrifice it! What happened to the original occupant??

Amergin: “Yes, my son. You... must. Though it means your death. Find the Eye! This broken body has one last spell left in it! You will have your sword and horse in the next life, brave knight. Where all things are restored!”

Well, that’s a nice consolation to a heroic sacrifice. Your extremely cursed sword and sweet flying horse are going to heaven with you. Or maybe hell. You did do a Crusade, for fun.

Meanwhile, the three remaining Avengers show up to thwart the Fomor from exiting Avalon.

Ethalan: “Again? You are tenacious fleas!”

Hey, didn’t we just have a whole recruitment story because of the Avengers being shorthanded? Now they’re at three. Stupid magic, excluding Iron Man from the fun.

Hawkeye starts the futile hold the line strong, making me slightly sorry about making fun of him a little earlier.

He fires a sonic arrow because sure the Fomor are beefy sacks of magic beef but high pitched noises still hurt and distract. Maybe more, what with their elf-like ears.

Hawkeye: “If you liked that one, you’ll get a bang out of my patented exploding arrow!” -Elathan explodes the ground at his feet- “Or maybe not.”

Hah.

But maybe next time, shoot first and gloat later.

So Hawkeye is knocked out, leaving just Captain America and Wasp.

Wasp: “This isn’t working out so well, Cap! What do we do now?”

Captain America: “The only thing we can do -- keep going until we can’t go any further!”

Yeah, he can do this all day.

Not very effectively. But at least all day. He tries to wade through Thethra and Indech but he gets caught by gooey gooey Indech. And also Dulb helps.

Elathan is about to step through the portal to Earth when he spots someone on the other side who flings him away from the portal.

THE BLACK KNIGHT!

Amergin used his last bit of life to cast a spell to plop Black Knight over to the other side of the portal so he could stop the Fomor.

The Fomor say that Black Knight won’t strike with the Evil Eye if the Avengers are in the thick of it but Cap tells Black Knight to just go ahead and do it anyway, because that’s what Cap be like.

Black Knight: “I was ready to seal off the gateway at cost of my own life -- but not that of the Avengers! I can’t handle the power of the Eye... I’ll destroy us all! I - I’m sorry... my friends... I’m sorry -- but I don’t even have a choice!”

And then he explodes. Because he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

When the explosion fades, there is but a tranquil field, some Balor residue. And a skeleton where the Black Knight had been.

Welp.

Oh, and the Avengers are fine.

Captain America, Wasp, and Hawkeye pop back to Avengers Mansion. With the spell ended, they rubber-banded back to the future.

So they also get to see that She-Hulk and Thor are fine! They didn’t really have time to mourn them in the heat of the action so now they don’t have to. The superhero life. Always hoping your friends will turn out to be actually alive before you have to grapple with mortality.

Dr. Druid wakes up to Explain Everything now that everything is over with.

Hawkeye mentions hey maybe ask before you fling someone into the past to save the world maybe, huh?!

Dr. Druid: “In other circumstances, I would have asked -- yet your intervention allowed the Black Knight to triumph!”

That doesn’t sound like an apology to me.

Hawkeye asks what happened to Black Knight so Dr. Druid opens up a scry to reveal the skeletonized Black Knight.

Geez.

But before the Avengers can really grapple with mortality, the scry shifts by itself to Garrett Castle and the pile of rubble that is all that was left of the Black Knight statue.

The rubble moves by itself and reassembles into a Black Knight shape AND THEN unstones.

Black Knight: “What?! I - I’m home! That’s what Amergin meant by the next life! His... final... gift!”

Hey, not bad!

Sure, I’d have liked Black Knight do more grappling with him being stranded in the past without a future body to return to but that exceedingly long plot point of Black Knight being turned to stone finally has a happy ending!

Doubly so because Black Knight’s sweet flying horse is with him, as promised.

Hawkeye wants to contact Black Knight to celebrate but Dr. Druid suggests that they give him some space.

Dr. Druid: “The Black Knight has just come back from death. He thinks he has gone against principles and brutally murdered his friends to achieve his ends. Let him know you are alive, but give him time to adjust. When he is ready, he will come to you.”

That’s.... good advice actually.

You don’t just let him think you’re all dead because its easier than picking up the phone (X-MEN) but you let him cope at his own pace.

Maybe Dr. Druid isn’t such the Worst Avenger after all.

And then he leaves because he’s not much for mingling, telling the Avengers “until we meet again, my friends” which I feel is jumping the gun a little bit.

You just met these people and spent maybe two minutes total with them.

So Hawkeye isn’t just being sour when he says “Don’t call us, Curly -- we’ll call you.”

Just slightly sour.

So!

Two-parter fill-in between runs focused on the Black Knight!

It was okay.

Like I’ve said, I like Black Knight out of proportion of actually reading anything with him in it. I think I just like him in concept. High-tech knight cosplayer who falls assbackwards into a cursed magical family heritage when he just wants to be a scientist knight.

I feel like the two-parter doesn’t actually have enough of Black Knight in action? He sort of stays out of things for most of the first issue and doesn’t have a lot of action beats in the second? He gets a heroic sacrifice that also ties off his plot cul-de-sac of being in the past so there can be new Black Knight content in the future, if anyone cares to use him. So that’s good. I just wanted more Black Knight content.

Fomor are okay as antagonists. I feel like we get pretty deep into their interpersonal dynamics despite them not being in a lot of stuff outside of this two-parter. I appreciate that they had individual powers and looks so that they’re more memorable than the Zodiac at least who only have one of those sometimes.

Also its nice? To get Irish mythology in something? Its probably less accurate even than Marvel’s takes on Greek/Roman and Norse mythology but I learned a thing. Mostly about tathlum balls.

Speaking of not being in a lot of stuff, what about Bres? He gets knocked out with an Iron Man to the butt and then just disappears to the off-panel.

Well, the Avengers dumped him on Project PEGASUS which used a machine to keep him depowered. A power failure let him make an escape attempt and he tried to get Super-Skrull disguised as a child to kill Iron Fist but couldn’t even manage that and got locked back up. That was in 1985 so who knows what happened to him after that, what with all the nonsense that happened to Project PEGASUS over the years.

I don’t knows and neither does marvel wiki.

Next time on Essential Avengers, not Avengers. There’s a Spider-Man I need to do to make things make sense.

Follow @essential-avengers​? Maybe? Like or reblog? Possibly? Enjoy the posts either way?

[ask-the-skeksis-and-mystics]

Talk to me about tekgra. Hurt me

Anon... I hope you have prepared yourself...

Because TekGra is my favorite Skeksis/Skeksis ship...

And I love me some angst...

So, here we go. (warning, gets kinda heavy.)

I like to believe that skekTek was actually fairly well liked in the beginning. He was smart and the Skeksis were in early enough stages that everything he made was so new and amazing and a carriage powered by armaligs, holy shit! There wasn't anything skekTek couldn't do.

And skekGra was by far the most popular Skeksis (aside from the Emperor, of course). He was fun and loud, but also strong and was the one in charge of spreading the Skeksis empire far and wide.

His battles didn't come without risks, however, and his first stop at the Castle was often to skekTek to get his various injuries looked at. It was because of skekGras constant visits that skekTek actually learned more on how Skeksis anatomy worked, as well as how to properly deal with various injuries and parasites.

Since skekTek was often the first that was visited, he was also always the first one to hear of the Conquerors latest battles. As entertaining as they were, it was often hard for skekTek to try to stitch up skekGra while being told a story about how he took down two Arathim at once while his arm was injured.

The two developed a fast friendship. SkekGra was already friends with all the Skeksis and was well liked, but he became especially close to skekTek. Not only because of how often he visited the Skeksis, but because he was amazed at how much the Scientist could do. And, skekTek was the only Skeksis that always seemed excited to see the puppet shows.

It was very much skekGra that caught feelings first. It happened when skekTek had modified his armor exactly how skekGra wanted: spiky and gaudy as all hell. And it was the most beautiful thing skekGra had ever gotten. After that, he was very obviously smitten with skekTek.

Tragically, skekTek is the nerd of nerds, and was painfully oblivious to skekGras very obvious flirting. A private dinner for two? SkekTek had to leave early because he was in the middle of a time constrained experiment. New pets? SkekTek thought they were supposed to be food for one of the carnivorous animals he keeps. All the other Skeksis were making bets on the pair.

It all came to a head when, after an unum of trying to get his attention with not so subtle flirting, skekGra couldn't take it anymore and confessed his feelings for skekTek. He sadly did it while the Scientist was in the middle of removing a bunch of shrapnel from his leg, making skekTek completely stop what he was doing for a few minutes. Eventually, he continued without a word, pulling the pieces out quickly and sewing up the wounds.

SkekGra left, taking it as a rejection.

He returned from another conquest an unum later. Without even thinking, he went to skekTeks lab, just out of instinct. He quickly realized his mistake when he walked in, but it was too late and he expected the worst.

Instead, he found skekTek waiting for him, a sogbird perched on his shoulder. He had trained it to fly from skekGra to the Castle and back to exchange letters. After all, skekTek didn't want to go so long with no contact. Though he didn't outright say it, simply out of embarrassment for not saying anything to skekGra when he initially asked, skekTek had very much accepted the Conquerors feelings and the two were an item after that.

Aside from skekEkt and skekAyuk, they were the best pair. SkekGra managed to get skekTek to come out of his shell (and his lab) more, even working with him to build his physical strength. Meanwhile, skekTek kept skekGra grounded and would help to ensure that the Conquerors stories didn't get too crazy.

SkekTeks work while he was with skekGra was the greatest it had ever been and he was actually taking care of himself instead of staying up until he passed out and only eatting when he couldn't bear the hunger anymore. Full daily meals for skekTek and a healthy amount of sleep!

And while he was with skekTek, skekGra was the most uninjured he had ever been. He saw how concerned skekTek would get over so many injuries, so he did his best and was much safer in his battles. He even had his armor modified to cover more blind spots, even if it did come at the cost of a few of his gaudy spikes.

They wrote letters every other day and when skekGra visited, skekTek was always at his side, even helping with the puppet shows (the other Skeksis found that the shows improved greatly once skekTek added fire and actual animals).

They had an amazing relationship... Keyword, 'had'.

SkekGra didn't tell skekTek of his vision he received about a hundred trine after they got together. Without the Scientist himself receiving it, he wouldn't believe skekGra, waving the vision off as nothing more than a delusion from a parasite or a too hard battle. And if he did believe skekGra, then the Conqueror figured that he would have believed that reunification was just another form of death when skekGra knew it just wasn't.

SkekTek began to notice a change in skekGra. The tales of his battles were less wild and less enthusiastic, the laughter that so often accompanied skekGra wherever he went was more often than not so much quieter than the boisterous shriek that the Conqueror was known for. SkekTek would ask, but skekGra always had a reason for brushing him off. "I'm just tired", "the battle was hard","I'm getting old", etc.

And skekTek believed him and trusted him because he loved skekGra as much as a Skeksis could feel love, and he knew that if the Conqueror truly had something wrong or going on, he would go to skekTek.

He knew until the day that skekGra went to the Skeksis, speaking of Mystics, reunification, speaking of Urskeks. The entire time, skekTek only looked on in silent horror. He knew skekGra well enough that the visions he spoke of were true, that he wasn't lying. He was even considering what skekGra was saying, that perhaps reunification isn't the end, isn't death.

But he couldn't voice that. He tried to stand up for skekGra as the other Skeksis began to turn on him, but all he could think about was why skekGra didn't tell him, didn't talk to him. SkekGra had been in a mood for a couple trine at least, if not longer, and not once did he say anything to skekTek.

As he watched in silence, all skekTek could think about is why skekGra never told him. Was he not good enough? Did skekGra not trust him? Did he get together with his Mystic half? Did he just not care for skekTek anymore?

Meanwhile, skekGra knew things were going downhill fast. The other Skeksis were a lot angrier and more aggressive than he had accounted for. His original plan was to flee the moment things got bad, but he couldn't. Because the entire time he was talking, skekTek was only looking at him with the most pained expression imaginable, one that hurt skekGra immensely.

Not only was he messing up with the Skeksis, but he was messing up with his Skeksis. He had already messed up, he knew that. He hadn't trusted skekTek enough and should have told him. Even if it meant that they broke up, skekGra would rather that than to see someone he loved so much looking so painfully hurt because of him.

It hurt even more that skekTek still didn't say anything when the other Skeksis were getting mad and yelling the most hateful things they could at skekGra. The Scientist could have yelled all his hurt and anger out on the Conqueror than and there. But he still didn't. All he did was look at skekGra with an expression that could only ask "why?".

When the punishment began and the nail was brought out, skekTek ran away. Not out of anger, but out of hurt and because he couldn't watch what they were going to do to skekGra just as much as he couldn't help the Conqueror, not when he didn't have an answer as to why. As hurt as he was to see skekTek flee, skekGra was also glad that he wouldn't have to see what would happen.

The punishment would come and go and perhaps after, they could talk. SkekGra would be injured and likely stripped of his Conqueror status, but he was okay with that so long as he could talk to skekTek and explain why.

As soon as the punishment was over, it was announced that he would be banished and labelled "Heretic" and to never return to the Castle, skekGra panicked. SkekGra fought and struggled as much as he could, even screaming for skekTek, but to no avail. SkekTek was in his lab, working on heavy machinery in a vain attempt at trying to get his mind off of the Conqueror. He never heard skekGra screaming for him and only found out about his banishment the next day.

Something twisted inside skekTek. He became bitter and angrier, as well as losing any confidence he had. His emotions weren't helped by nearly all of the Skeksis turning on him because of his relationship with skekGra.

He was painfully hurt and didn't really trust anyone after that, while also having a desperate need for approval and validation. Never knowing why skekGra never told him, that "why?" in skekTeks head turned into dark and deformed thoughts, constantly flipping onto whose fault it was and why.

His remaining allies were skekUng, skekNa, and skekSa. Both skekUng and skekNa left more and more frequently after the banishing, never really keeping contact, and skekSa just gave a big "f-you" to the Emperor and left for the sea.

She still kept in contact with skekTek, both using the Sogbird method. They would send letters weekly. Then once an unum. Then once a trine. Soon enough, the last Sogbird died and skekTek never trained any new ones. There was no need when you had nobody to send letters to.

His experiments grew darker and twisted. Bugs, small animals, large animals, even his own body became play fields for dissection, experimentation, and augmentation. The other Skeksis began to distrust and harass him even more, finding his experiments unnerving, especially the ones he performed on himself.

Meanwhile, skekGra felt immense guilt for what he did to skekTek. He knew he should have said something, anything, and he didn't. Even if it still ended in his banishment, or worse, skekGra should have said something.

He thought about sending letters to skekTek, but decided against it. Even if he could figure out how to get the letter to the Castle, there was a chance of putting the Scientist in danger if he was found out. So, with a heavy heart, skekGra didn't send a letter. He cared about skekTek too much.

It was with urGohs help that he worked through the guilt he had for skekTek and the "what could have beens" and looked to the future and the "what will hopefully be". Though he still loved skekTek, he was able to find another love in urGoh.

And though he still missed skekTek immensely, skekGra also knew that the Scientist was popular and well liked by all the Skeksis. They all loved their Scientist and his inventions.

So skekTek would be okay.

(This got really long, sorry!)

[mst3kproject]

Goliath and the Dragon

I promised you colour, and here it is, with a side of My Cheese Steak!  It was produced by our old friend Samuel Z. Arkoff, and actor Salvatore Furnari played an elf in The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t and Timotheus in Hercules and the Captive Women.  The rest of the cast may not have been on MST3K, but they still have distinguished bad movie pedigrees of their own.  Philippe Hersent was in Film Crew feature The Giant of Marathon, and a lot of the other actors, including star Mark Forest and leading lady Leonora Ruffo, were in other sword-and-sandal movies I’ve featured as Episodes that Never Were.  In fact, looking at the cast list right now, I discovered that Gaby Andre was also in my previous movie, The Strange World of Planet X.  I hope she’s better in this one.

Once Upon a Time there lived Emilius the Mighty, who was so brawny and manly he was called the Goliath of Thebes.  He gets back from the pits of hell to find that his much skinnier brother Illus is in love with Princess Thea, the daughter of Goliath’s sworn enemy.  Goliath of course disapproves, but Illus thinks it’s because Goliath is in love with Thea herself, and spends much of the running time moping and whining. Meanwhile the villain, Eurytus, has decided to marry Thea in order to become the next king – although he’s also promised to marry a woman named Arsinoe in exchange for her assassinating Goliath.  Arsinoe, however, falls in love with Goliath after he saves her from a bear.  It takes most of the movie to sort out the six layers of scheming, misunderstanding, and general idiot picture going on here, and then it’s finally ass-kicking time.  I think the titular dragon gets about thirty seconds of total screen time.

I said this was a Maciste movie, but that’s an over-simplification.  American International Pictures had previously distributed a movie called Goliath and the Barbarians (which had Steve Reeves in it!), and it did well enough that they wanted a sequel.  They thus purchased the totally unrelated film The Revenge of Hercules (which does not have Steve Reeves in it, although Mark Forest might kinda look like him if you squint), dubbed over the characters’ names, added a dragon, and crossed their fingers hoping that nobody would notice the whole cast was different.  So while MST3K gave us a couple of Maciste movies turned into Hercules movies, here we have a Hercules movie changed into a Maciste movie.

The plot is rather complicated, with multiple people and gods all conspiracizing at cross-purposes.  The summary I gave above is only about the first half of the movie. A lot of this ends up coming to naught, since the guy whose position seems to be King Eurytus’ Royal Schemer is very bad at scheming.  All his plots seem to consist of ‘just do nothing and they’ll die on their own’.  I guess we’re supposed to cheer on Goliath and Illus through this series of victories on their part, but instead it just feels like a waste of the audience’s time, with no real progress made on either side.  Things don’t really start happening until an oracle gives Goliath a prophecy – but like all Greek prophecies, it’s confusingly worded and just muddles things up further, leading characters to make decisions that undermine their own goals.  It’s kind of a frustrating film to watch.

Even worse, a lot of these plot threads don’t get tied up.  Eurytus has a history with both Goliath’s family and with Thea’s dead parents… what is that all about?  It sounds like it ought to be important but we never find out.  It can’t even be something that was explained in the first movie because the first movie was, remember, completely unrelated.  Illus and Goliath eventually make up but I can’t tell if Illus ever actually realizes that Goliath wasn’t interested in Thea and that the people who told him otherwise were lying.  The whole thing just kind of drops.  Arsinoe has some personal claim on the throne but that’s only described in the vaguest of terms, and the actress playing her looks just like the one playing Dejanira, so that gets confusing.  Goliath knocks down a temple at one point but this never seems to have any consequences, unless the confusing prophecy was the gods’ revenge for that… in which case it was a pretty weak revenge coming from beings known for turning people into trees because of a mild inconvenience.

Was this supposed to be Goliath defying the gods and winning?  It doesn’t seem that way, because things turn out exactly the way the gods prophesized – Illus marries Thea and becomes king, and a woman who loves Goliath dies.  This was all set up from the beginning and the audience saw it coming from a mile away even if Goliath didn’t, and it’s with the help of the wind goddess that Goliath wins the day.  So it seems that even after razing their temple, he’s still their favourite?  What sense does that make?

It doesn’t help that we don’t like any of the characters. The bad guys have no particular personalities besides being evil.  Goliath is kind of a dick who tears down the gods’ statues when their decisions displease him, and ties his grown-ass brother to a tree to keep him from running off to suck face with Thea (in the original, Hercules version of the movie, Illus is his son, which makes it even worse).  Illus is a lovesick whiny dope who spends a lot of time staring into the camera with a vaguely confused expression.

The women, meanwhile, are absolute ciphers, with nothing to do but further the plot.  Thea is here to be pined over and coveted.  Goliath’s wife Dejanira is here to be the subject of the dire prophecy, and Arsinoe exists to provide a loophole in it.  All three are totally bland, as are the two or three little kids who represent Goliath and Dejanira’s children.  Not a single member of the cast has any depth or any redeeming characteristics.

Thank goodness for the monsters.  The creatures in Goliath and the Dragon manage to walk that perfect line between ambition and cheapness where they become downright delightful.  There’s an amazingly silly three-headed fire-breathing dog guarding the gates of hell, hilarious papier-mâché skeletons hanging around in a dungeon, and a guy in a ridiculous bat costume flailing on the end of a string, and that’s just the first ten minutes.  The movie goes on to give us an even worse bear costume than the one in the Lou Ferrigno Hercules, and of course the dragon, which is a combination of a puppet head on a stick and a lousy Claymation dinosaur.  The two do not particularly look like the same creature. Were it not for these beasties the movie would be downright unwatchable.

The real animals here don’t fare as well.  There’s a snake pit, which is pretty standard issue for this kind of movie, and they actually found some fairly large pythons instead of resorting to adorable little corn snakes.  The problem is that if you know anything about snakes, these ones are clearly very stressed by the conditions of the shoot and rather worried about sacrificial victims falling on top of them.  Even worse is Eurytus’ pet elephant, whose job is stomping prisoners to death. Goliath’s stunt double wrestles with what is clearly the real elephant – dangerous for the man, but also bad for the pachyderm, who was just as likely to get injured and far less likely to receive medical care if she was.  The computer-generated animals of modern movies kinda suck, but at least we no longer have to torture real ones on camera!

Since its original title is The Revenge of Hercules, this is obviously a movie about revenge, and it’s a motif throughout the narrative.  One of the gods Goliath serves is the God of Vengeance (in ancient Greece revenge was actually a goddess, Nemesis), and the first heroic task he does in the movie is retrieve the god’s blood diamond (shame on the god – revenge is supposed to be honourable and should therefore rely on only ethically sourced gems!) from the underworld.  Later, when he feels the god has betrayed him, he smashes the diamond and destroys the statue.  Goliath takes revenge on vengeance itself!

Goliath also takes revenge on King Eurytus.  We are told that Eurytus killed Goliath’s parents, and appears to have taken out Thea’s as well, making him a fine target for revenge. We also get some idea that he’s in charge of the dragon that pops up at the beginning and end of the movie and never does much because it wasn’t in the script.  Exactly how this all works, however, is murky, and Goliath never even seems aware that Eurytus’ ultimate plan is to conquer Goliath’s home city of Thebes.  Plenty of cause for revenge, then… but all this backstory is only told to us, not shown.  The audience is thrown into the middle of this situation without really knowing what’s going on, and we never quire recover from it.  There’s no excuse for this, either.  A movie that could afford a three-headed fire-breathing dog could definitely afford a flashback!

Maciste movies and their ilk are usually a lot of fun, and this one has its charms.  Between the stupid monsters and Illus gazing vapidly into the void, there’s plenty of material that Joel and the bots could have worked with.  Goliath and the Dragon isn’t good enough to really enjoy but it’s also not bad enough to hate (even if the animal cruelty leaves a bad taste).  It really could use some riffing to spice it up.

[elyvorg]

I personally like the idea of Shuichi getting hurt or killed, because it’s a better way to develop Kaito/Kaede or even Maki. Here’s more interesting scenario, Shuichi has Kaito’s illness instead. Imagine playing as a protagonist that’s actually secretly dying all along and doing everything in his power to not give up and make sure everyone survives.

There kind of seem to be two separate ideas you’re presenting here. First you’re suggesting Shuichi getting hurt or killed for the sake of developing Kaito and/or Kaede in a “better” way, which implies that you’re not thinking that much about what this means for Shuichi himself. But then you also go on to talk about Shuichi getting sick and dying for the sake of developing him and giving him an interesting protagonist arc that’s different to what he had in canon, without mentioning what effect that would have on his friends.

After all, I don’t think it’s ever a good idea to kill off a character just to develop a different character. That’d make the character’s death feel gratuitous and not about them. Granted, in canon, Kaede and Kaito’s deaths are both partly for the purpose of Shuichi’s development, but that’s not the only reason they die. Both of them have their own arcs and stories as well, and their deaths are very much a part of their stories and not just Shuichi’s. Killing a character is something that always ought to be at least as much about the character themselves as it is about any other character who’s affected by that death. (Which, happily, Danganronpa V3 is pretty good at, a lot more so than the previous Danganronpas were.)

And that’s the thing - both Kaede and Kaito already got plenty of development in canon even though they died at the end of it. So to the first thing you’re suggesting, that hurting or killing Shuichi would be a “better” way to develop his closest friends: I don’t know if that would actually get that much significantly more out of Kaede or Kaito (or Maki) than we already got in canon.

The most interesting part of Kaede’s story was the part where she got desperate enough to commit murder in an attempt to save everyone, except it all went tragically wrong. That’s probably the most interesting thing that it’s possible to do with her, because damn was that one hell of a story. But if we’re making an AU where Kaede’s going to live long enough to develop in other ways, then presumably she didn’t murder anyone, which completely removes the most interesting parts of her character. Obviously she’s not nothing without that and there are still things that could be done with her - having her learn how to be a bit more realistic with her optimism so that she can most effectively motivate everyone without having half of them write her encouragement off as meaningless platitudes, perhaps - but I don’t think that’d ever make quite as good a story as what she had in canon.

Meanwhile, Kaito had one hell of an amazing character arc in canon. You might not call it “development” because most of it involves his issues getting steadily worse - but even then, he does show signs of making at least some progress by the end. The only reason he didn’t make more progress is because he ran out of time and died before he could get any further than he did - but on the other hand, if he hadn’t been dying, he wouldn’t have had such a great arc in the first place, so we’re kind of stuck there.

Of course, there are plenty of other things that could be done with Kaito in a somewhat different story. The most important thing to do that doesn’t quite ever properly happen in canon would be getting him to realise that it’s okay to show weakness to his sidekicks and begin to feel comfortable doing so and accepting other people’s support. But hurting or killing Shuichi in front of him is literally the opposite of how to go about doing that. Your phrasing of this ask suggests you probably read one or both of my recent asks about Shuichi getting hurt or killed, and the gist of both was that Kaito would very much not be getting anywhere with his own issues as a result. In the “hurt” one, I talked about how this would only enable Kaito’s co-dependency and make him feel even more sure that he needed to be invincible to support Shuichi. In the “killed” one, Kaito would tear himself apart with guilt over not being able to save Shuichi, which also would not help - he’d begin to move on in time because he’s an incredibly resilient person, but he’d probably cope by making himself even more determined not to fail his next sidekick, which would not mix well with his conviction that showing any weakness to his sidekicks whatsoever counts as failing them.

The best way to force Kaito to learn how to accept support is to have him be the vulnerable one who needs it, and let Shuichi (and Maki) remain strong and capable of giving that support to him. This is exactly what canon did, and yes, it didn’t succeed, because Kaito is so ridiculously stubborn about hiding his weakness that his friends didn’t notice the problem until it was far too late to help. Which means that you’d also have to add some kind of extra scenario which forces Kaito to show weakness against his will so that his sidekicks can understand his issues and tell him what an idiot he’s being. Trust me, I’ve thought about this a lot.

And similarly, since Kaede is also someone whose problem if anything is that she’s too selfless, hurting or killing Shuichi would not be the ideal way to go about getting her to fix that either. Doing that to Shuichi for the sake of developing Kaede or Kaito just isn’t quite an idea that works (at least if you’re talking about them “developing” in terms of fixing their issues), because it’s Kaede and Kaito.

You mentioned Maki too, and I kind of glossed over her for most of this, but she also gets a lot of development in canon anyway. I’m not sure if killing Shuichi would have changed much about that, especially since she already canonically goes through the pain of losing someone important to her when Kaito dies.

But what about the other thing you’re suggesting, which is that making Shuichi suffer more by giving him the virus Kaito had in canon would make a more interesting story for him? Well, the thing is, if Shuichi had that virus… he wouldn’t really react like you’re describing at all. Unlike Kaito, Shuichi is more than happy to depend on others and accept their help, so the moment he realised he was sick and possibly dying, he would immediately tell Kaito (and/or Kaede, if she’s somehow alive here) what’s going on with him, even if he didn’t necessarily expect them to know how to fix it. There’d be no “secretly” about the fact he was dying, not if it was Shuichi.

And if the others knew Shuichi was dying from an illness they couldn’t treat while stuck in the Academy? If they knew anyone was dying like that, no matter who it was? They’d escape. In canon, nobody was willing enough to risk their lives to escape, not when it felt safer to stay there and naively hope another killing simply wouldn’t happen. But if one of their friends was definitely going to die if they didn’t get out of there and get them to a hospital in time? They’d have taken that risk. Keebo’s weapons are capable of fighting the Exisals and blowing a hole in the wall, while Miu can make gadgets that disable or control Exisals and could have been used to help escape if Kokichi had cared about doing so. Escape was entirely possible in chapter 4 if only they’d had a strong enough motivation to try. The only reason that someone having a deadly illness didn’t cause them all to escape like that in canon was because the sick person in question happened to be a far-too-selfless idiot who was convinced he had to be invincible to be inspiring and therefore never wanted anyone to know he was dying.

Imagine playing as a protagonist that’s actually secretly dying all along and doing everything in his power to not give up and make sure everyone survives.

Don’t get me wrong, you’re presenting a compelling story here - but it’s not the story you’d get if Shuichi had that illness. Instead, well… you basically just described what we’d get if we had the exact same story as canon V3, only with Kaito as the protagonist.

And, I mean, hell to the yes I would be all over that. He always was the hero of his own story, after all! It might even get more of the fandom to actually realise what an amazing character arc Kaito has if we’d been able to see inside his head the whole time, instead of having everything about him be as subtle as it is. But, alas. And, hey, I love the subtlety of Kaito’s arc the way it is now, so I’m not precisely complaining.

(Obviously I’m not entirely sure how a Kaito game would manage to do any trial gameplay, since Kaito is decidedly not great at the detective thing, but, you know.)

[kuningannasansa]

A musketeers rewatch (that nobody asked for) 1x07

Here we go, my least favorite episode of the whole show excluding season three which I didn’t watch! If you have even a passing fondness for Ninon, I suggest you look away :)

We start with a royal procession through the crowd and there are quite a lot of waving people there. If they can fill the streets with extras for scenes like that, why can those same extras not be used for the court scenes?

Priest whose name I have forgotten is being robbed. The musketeers rush in to help. 

Meanwhile, a crazy girl tries to get close to the queen and ends up being ran over by her carriage. If this is meant to be some Emily Davison analogy, it sucks!

The dead lunatic’s name is Therese and she wanted to give the Queen a note. Constance takes it and says “Fleur, what does this mean?” Am I supposed to take from that that she cannot read for herself? Cause a merchant’s wife definitely, definitely would know how to do that. 

Fleur is nowhere to be seen, however.

“This is an age of glorious discovery!” says Ninon. “Galileo observes the moons of Jupiter... But what is the role of women in this age of wonder?” - well, gee, i don’t know Ninon. Maybe you could have mentioned some female scientists of the era in addition to Galileo? Catherine de Parthenay, anyone? Or Marie Fouquet? Hell, Ninon de l'Enclos, my atheist queen, for whom this Ninon is doubtless named, was a notable woman in her own right! But no, we have to make women look more oppressed than they actually were to make this waste of space look more awesome. 

“My women of Paris, seek your own enlightenment!” - wrong era!

Therese, an orphan from a humble background, wanted to hand a petition to the queen about women’s education.  

“If she was an illiterate orphan she could not have written this. It is misguided but not unintelligent.” - says Richelieu. And indeed he turns out to be right. She didn’t write it. Which is fucking bizarre. 

Anne asks him if he doesn’t favor women’s education and he replies: “I admire learning wherever it is to be found, but this amounts to an attack on the authority of church and state.” Any French history buff know what the actual Richelieu’s thought of women’s education? @tatzelwyrm​? I’m gonna start a biography on him soon, but not until I’m done with this rewatch.

Ninon barges in past the guards and yells “stay out of my way, I will address the King!”. I’m sure this is meant to make her look badass, but she just comes across like a complete idiot who doesn’t understand that she would do better to follow court protocol, no matter how much she might dislike it, if she wants to achieve her goals.    

Luckily for her she’s pretty, so the king doesn’t mind.

“I want to know why this tragedy happened. If your guards are to blame I want them punished.” And then she gives Treville a dirty look! How dare you, you waste of skin and oxygen! Don’t you dare blame Treville for this mess! 

“You knew this lunatic?” - lmao, Richelieu!

Therese was the daughter of Ninon’s servant whom Ninon decided to educate. So she was educated, she COULD have written the petition herself. But she did not. Because when Richelieu says “she wrote this and was killed trying to give it to the Queen” Ninon screeches: “Don’t be ridiculous! She didn’t write it, I did!” And I mean, who exactly is looking down on servant girls here and saying it’s ridiculous to expect them to write something intelligent. It’s not Richelieu. 

But more importantly, WHY?? If Ninon wrote it, why couldn’t she hand it to the Queen? Why did this poor girl have to die? This is so, so stupid! I mean, okay, maybe Therese heard Ninon speak well of the queen and got the idea to hand her the petition on her own, without being told by Ninon to do so. But why did she have it in the first place, if it’s Ninon’s petition?

“Apparently the Comtesse de Laroque believes herself above the normal laws and conventions of society.” ´- well that’s an understatement.  

“The treasury is bankrupt and the country needs a new navy. Ninon has the wealth to provide it.” And that is why Richelieu sends Milady into the salon to find something to use against her. These two are so good in this, I love their scenes together! Pity about the rest of the episode. 

Richelieu is now freaking out about lesbians and Milady is just like “really, dude? really?”. I love her!

“Ninon must pay up or face destruction, I want every last penny from her!” - so it was not his intention to kill her, just to get the money. Interesting.

Fleur’s father is Bonacieux’s cousin. I love that, the commoners having family connections and support circles of their own.

The robbed priest is called Luca! Richelieu is “delighted to see him”, apparently, cause they’re old friends. And Louis isn’t, because he wrote a pamphlet arguing that Kings should bow down to the Pope’s authority. 

“We can’t have a comtesse abducting young women and spiriting them away to her boudoir!” - Oh, Richelieu! Do calm down.

It’s odd watching Richelieu try to use homosexuality to take Ninon down while shipping Trevilieu thou. 

Athos barges into Ninon’s salon, demanding to know where Fleur is and Milady very discreetly hides behind a pillar. Lol! 

And Ninon starts hitting on Athos immediately. She tells him that she’s often thought he’s handsome but the “melancholy aspect” to his looks is “probably only mental vacancy”. Who taught you how to flirt? Why must you be so abrasive and confrontational all the time? Like really, I get she’s meant to be a Strong Woman Who Don’t Take No Shit TM, but she just comes across like a loudmouth. 

Athos likes it thou!

“Forgive our intrusion-” “I will not forgive it!” - Jesus Ninon, it’s just a figure of speech, a polite gesture. People use these in conversation sometimes. She’s so unnecessarily rude smh.

Aramis says he “gladly acknowledges the superiority of the female sex” and I throw up in my mouth a little. That’s not feminism, that’s slimy!

D’artagnan: “If that wasn’t flirting, I don’t know what is.”  Porthos: “Rubbish! She can’t stand him.”  Aramis: “One day I’ll sit down and explain women to you.” - cause we’re all the same and no means yes, right writers?

Luca: “His holiness is concerned about the direction of French foreign policy.” Richelieu: “Well the pope is Spain’s performing monkey.” - he really is so funny! I know I keep saying that, but he is!

Also, YAY politics! Intelligent dialogue! I love this scene so much!

“In matters of religion I defer to Rome, in all else I am my country’s servant” - lol, Richelieu inventing the separation of church and state

Luca: “Is this your final word on the subject?” Richelieu: “It is.” - and that right there is where Luca decides to kill him. The actor plays it really well, knowing it’s coming I can see the briefest moment of regret in his eyes, but without hindsight I wouldn’t notice anything. And he gives Richelieu the poisoned gift. 

Also, isn't it the same guy who plays Margaret’s new man in Harlots? 

Athos says that Therese and Fleur were so far below Ninon in status that they were not in a position to make choices of their own free will. Which is fuckign stupid. But Ninon saying that she views all women as equal regardless of their birth is equally moronic. I mean, sure, they should be, but in reality they’re not and ignoring that doesn’t help anyone. And Athos does point out that Ninon’s money and position gives her certain privileges, but it sits wrong coming from him and not from Porthos or Milady or Constance, who are from poor/less wealthy backgrounds. That said, this is still one of the few semi intelligent scenes in this whole episode, so whatever. At least someone said it. 

Now she kisses him and invites him to dine! And he just looks sad.

Luca tells Richelieu to “deal with” Ninon “firmly”, cause the Pope is dying and Richelieu could be the next Pope if he shows himself a strong defender of the church against “heresy”. What heresy thou? Women learning to read? Lol, that’s so cartoonishly evil and ahistorical, but whatever. This at least explains where Richelieu’s desire to have her burned came from.

Richelieu: “I wouldn’t go so far as to call her a heretic.” Luca: “A woman who openly defies God's laws, what other word is there?” - what laws thou? what has she done, other than hold some salon meetings, as every other noblewoman was doing at the time?

Richelieu promises to consider his options and Luca tells him to pray to the poisoned bone for guidance, lol.

This right here is Richelieu letting personal feelings cloud his judgement, thou! Which he said he has learned no to do. But he allows himself to be carried away with visions of becoming Pope and honestly I don’t see how he can possibly believe that could happen with his foreign policy and how hated he is by the Vatican, as stated in this very scene.  

Milady and Ninon! I love that scene! Ninon clearly thinks she’s super special because she “takes the initiative” by kissing men instead of waiting to be kissed. She’s so damn smug about it! And Milady is just like “oh I could never be so bold” and I swear I can hear her laughing internally! 

And she very cleverly charms Fleur’s location out of Ninon!

Athos’s idea of a first date is the morgue. Charming.

Athos saying that Ninon is responsible for what happened to Therese because she gave a lowborn girl an education doesn’t sit well with me. Classist ass! But she is responsible for not thinking of Therese beyond how daring and adventurous and fun and positively scandalous it would be to educate a servant girl and then not bothering to care for her when she got bored. Cause if she had done, Therese could have come to her with her plan and she could have prevented her death. Because yes, regardless of her education, her background predisposed Therese to be naive about the King and Queen and how petitions work. Where was Ninon in all this, when a girl under her charge decided to do this foolish thing that cost her her life? Because if you want to be someone’s teacher you do have a duty of care. In short, Ninon is a classist ass as well! They’re perfect for each other!

So Luca’s stolen bag is in the morgue with the body of the thief who stole it. And Athos promises to send for it in the morning. I know it’s CSI: Musketeers and all, but why was it not delivered to Luca the moment it was found, lol? He’s a pretty important guest at the palace and it’s his property. 

Athos agrees with Ninon that marriage is a curse. LOL!

Ninon’s reason for not marrying is that she does not want a husband to own her wealth and body. Makes sense and that’s why many independently wealthy women chose to stay unmarried. Just pointing out the few things that make sense.

“You are a rebellious woman” - oh good, we managed to squeeze the title of the episode into the dialogue! 

Aramis just tossed a red guard out of Ninon’s house. Can’t tell if he’s dead or not, but certainly unconscious. 

There’s fighting. The red guards have swords, the musketeers have books. Athos screams “where is your authority for this!?!” - well, the Cardinal, I’d assume, since they are his guards. Oh bear of very little brain!

Fleur and some other runaway girls are found sleeping in a secret chamber and Ninon is arrested for abducting them.

Athos is all like “you said she wasn’t here” and Ninon tries to explain that Fleur did not want to be found and begs “make them stop” to which Athos replies “sorry, I can’t”, his voice and face making it very clear that he doesn’t want to. Because a woman lied to him! This is the worst crime! Really Ninon is lucky she’s being arrested right now, otherwise she’d end up swinging from a tree.

“Four young women! In their nightwear! I can only speculate as to the horrors they have endured!” - Richelieu really has a bee in his bonnet about lesbians. The days before p*rnhub must have been hard for a catholic cardinal. 

Luca is even worse thou! “Your majesty is joking but Satan is real! And his female familiars are everywhere amongst us.” Jesus christ guys, calm down! Have a wank or something!

“She had the girls, she lied, she brought her fate on herself.” - Oh shut up Athos! Not everything is about you and your relationship issues! As Aramis points out. Thank you, Aramis! And I never believed I’d ever say that.

Ninon/Aramis  > > > > > > > > > > Ninon/Athos

Aramis gives Ninon the cross Anne gave him. This is quite sweet!

“It’s not so easy when you don’t have money” Constance says and she is right. But it’s like the show is saying that the only way women can be independant is if they are independently wealthy like Ninon. But that’s not really true, Fleur could get a job such as a seamstress or pharmacist or grain merchant or actress or even as a secretary now that she knows latin and greek thanks to Ninon. Women did have jobs in 17th century France and even belonged to guilds etc. Not saying that Fleur would not be more financially secure still with a husband, but if she really doesn’t want that she has options and I don’t like how this supposed “feminist” episode constantly erases women’s actual history. 

Fleur’s father rages “what does she need an education for? She’ll be a seamstress until she’s married and then she’ll be a dutiful wife and mother.” But if he is Bonacieux’s cousin then they are in the same social class, that is to say, the merchant class. And merchant women had to keep their husbands’ shops when their husbands were away. They needed to know how to read and write and do sums. They needed this to be an attractive marriage prospect to a husband of their own social class! 

And the father wants to hit Fleur and D’artagnan all heroically threatens him. How boring!

Richelieu: “Many of our young women are educated. It’s not something we’re ashamed of.” Fleur: “Not just embroidery and sewing.”  Me: “WELL OF COURSE NOT!!!”

Then Fleur says Ninon taught them the “secrets of our bodies” and Richelieu is a hound on the scent!

“Be quiet or you’ll be gagged!” - Again Armand, this is neither the time nor the place to indulge your kinks. 

ENTER MILADY! 

She does such a brilliant job of her testimony! This is again her lying about rape and I talked about before why that is bad, but in this case I don’t mind cause it’s for state reasons and doesn’t in any way invalidate her own story the way the thing with D’artagnan does.

Athos completely LOSES HIS SHIT!! Not doing the defence any good there, buddy!

The look she gives him as she walks out is priceless!

Queen Anne to the rescue, bringing clemency from Louis! Clever girl, must have manipulated it out of him! Season 1 Anne was intelligent.

And Ninon ruins it by saying: “I have never consorted with the devil until this moment. I am looking at him.” To which Richelieu replies: “Condemned from her own mouth.” As any person with half a brain would. Jesus christ Ninon, you should have been gagged! For your own safety! 

And then Richelieu stops breathing! And we get Treville’s reaction to it, thank you camera people! Thou Treville mostly just looks confused, like “what is that drama queen doing now?” 

Now he’s twitching! And I’m sorry but it looks hilarious.

Aramis carries him to bed on his back and puts a hand over his mouth. I’m not sure that helps with the breathing issues... 

Louis pushes Aramis out of the way and cries “please don’t die! please don’t die!” aawwwwwwwwwww!

Aramis really saves his life here, huh.

Anne is briefly jealous about the cross and asks Aramis if Ninon is his lover. Lol! She never expected him to stalk her for the rest of her life, she fully expected him to keep lovers.  

Luca: “Satan turned his blood to acid at her command!” Porthos: “We’ll add Satan to the list of suspects.”

Fleur: “You think I poisoned him?” Constance: “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard even by musketeer standards.” - THANK YOU CONSTANCE!

Fleur is to be married to a 40 year old butcher. Poor girl!

“Was it you?” - LOL!

“Half the doctors say you’re doomed, the other half claim you’ll make a full recovery. There’s a lot of professional pride at stake.” - Milady is very funny too! But I’ve always known that! 

“Whatever happens to me, I want you to extract this confession from Ninon.” - translation: it doesn’t matter if I die, the main thing is that France gets that navy. For France, always. I’m amazed by how much he trusts Milady here thou.

Milady thinks the kneebone of St. Anthony is gross and “as much use as the doctors”. Bless her!

Constance very sweetly talks Fleur’s father out of forcing her to marry. Go Constance!

Ninon: “There is nothing worse than a woman who betrays her own sex” Milady: “I can think of a few things, but let’s not argue.” - THIS!! This is my favorite part of this whole miserable episode, because yes, with her background she can think of things Ninon couldn’t possibly imagine. It’s also a fuck you to that “don’t encourage girl on girl hate” line terfs and white feminists always hide behind when they get called out on their bullshit, though this wasn’t the point here. I love how she doesn’t even explain, too. Let’s not argue, cause what’s the point. You’ll never get it.

I do want to stress that Ninon is not wrong for educating other women and she has been unjustly condemned (althou I would argue that she might not have drawn Richelieu’s ire if she went about it in a more subtle, less smug way, for the safety of the girls she teaches if not for her own). But Milady is employed by the First Minister of France and is doing her job here, a job which she depends upon for her own independence and safety. As she says, Ninon didn’t do anything to her, she’s just a victim of circumstance. 

“If you don’t confess, the women of your salon will burn in your place. Surely you wish to save the lives of your accomplices in Satan?” - Milady does a good job of selling it, but if you think about it, that makes no sense. These women have already been publicly proclaimed Ninon’s victims. And if they have legal trouble with burning her alone, how would they manage a whole bunch of them, most of whom are also high ranking noblewomen?

Ninon falls for it thou. Fail!

Richelieu orders Ninon burned and Milady says that the Queen and King won’t like it. Richelieu replies that: “she’s irrelevant and a new navy will soothe his dismay.” He’s really underestimating season 1 Anne here. But season 2 will prove him right, sadly.

“The kingdom of heaven is a dream. Our only life is here.” - Go Milady!

Richelieu says he won’t burn her for heresy but to be careful cause “one day someone else might” and idk, but it comes across like pretty friendly advice, considering what he’s currently doing with Ninon. 

Now he worries he might go to hell! And Milady says he’s already there, lmaoo! I LOVE THIS SCENE!!

They go to the morgue to retrieve Luca’s bag and discover that the thief was poisoned in the same manner as the Cardinal. Thus the plot is uncovered.

“Open his mouth!” “You open his mouth!”

Luca kills a red guard and is about to kill Richelieu (who fights him with a fork!) when the musketeers burst in. And Richelieu curses them for being late!

Richelieu had apparently worked out that it was Luca who was trying to kill him at some point during the night. No idea how. 

Athos begs for Ninon’s life while the pire is already burning. And Richelieu agrees cause burning her is all very “dark ages”, like he said to begin with. He says he’s not a cruel man, just a practical one. But practicality sometimes requires cruelty. He’s not a sadist thou, that’s what he meant and that’s true. 

Athos drags Ninon off the burning pire. So the great feminist character got duped by Milady and then had to be rescued by her love interest. So good, much feminist. 

“As far as the world is concerned, Comtesse Ninon de Laroque died on that pire today.” Richelieu takes her lands, her property and her money and sends her into exile. Then he threatens to execute her if she ever tells anyone the truth of what happened.

“My voice will never be silenced, but I promise you will never hear it.” - the stupidest line of the whole episode and that’s saying something. Seriously, what does this mean? Your voice was silenced! Richelieu got your wealth which you could have used to educate more women. You were completely defeated. Like really, who is the idiot who wrote this? And what made them think this is in any way empowering or even just a satisfactory conclusion to Ninon’s acr?? Ughhhh!!

I do love Richelieu and Milady getting a rare victory thou! 

“Nothing, no person, no nation, no god will stand in my way.” - HOT!

Aramis gets his cross back lol. Otherwise it would have burned. 

Lmao, Richelieu sends Luca’s ashes to rome with a threat to the Pope.

And Capaldi pronounces “Richelieu” in a very strange way. 

Milady: “You do realise you’ll never be Pope?” Richelieu: “It’s an Italian club and largely a clerical position. I prefer something with a little more influence.” - L! O! L!

Ninon plans to open a school for poor girls and be a teacher. Well, idk, I hope she does a better job of it than she did with Therese.

Athos asks Ninon if “Madame de la Chapelle” ever told her anything about herself. And Ninon is like “so you did know her after all?” and he says “in another life” and she warns him to be careful because she has the cardinal’s protection so “a blow against her is a blow against him” and idk, does she realize that Milady was Athos’s wife here? Is that how I’m supposed to read it? He did tell her before that he used to be married.

Then she kisses him and tells him she could have loved a man like him. And she’s just way more into him than he is into her.

Lmaooo, Fleur is not forced to marry and can continue with her education and she’s “sure” that the woman who convinced her father was Ninon. And Constance doesn’t correct her and doesn’t even want the credit, but I’m mad lol, as if Ninon even remembers you exist Fleur!

D’artagnan gives Constance the credit, at least! And then comes his declaration of love, which is actually very sweet and I really liked them together in season 1! Constance is so beautiful in this scene too! It’s very well lit and she’s wearing that lovely dress!

Aaaaand we fade to black on some PG13 kissing and groping! Sorry, this was very long, but there was a lot to complain about.

In conclusion, awful! Like, the thing that bothers me the most is that this token girl power episode would not even have been radical in 1970, never mind today. The message is simply that women should have an education, which no sane person today would disagree with. It’s very safe and bland. And erases women’s real history in the process. It’s almost as if these male writers are congratulating themselves “weren’t things ever so bad Back Then, we are so much more progressive now”, instead of doing the truly radical thing and showing women’s real history, showing women in positions of power running their literary salons and not getting burned for it, showing women as independent businesswomen with an education! Why not give Bonacieux a female rival in the cloth business? Why not go deeper than “women are human beings” and give the episode a truly radical message that still resonates today. After all, we might be ever so educated now but it’s not like women have achieved equality. More on that in this old post: https://kuningannasansa.tumblr.com/post/126434697304/the-problem-of-ninon 

Anyway, I really hope the next episode will be better! 

Red Guards killed: 1 or 2, impossible to really tell

Ladies killed: Therese

Best Dressed: Ninon. She did have some pretty dresses. 

[lifeofresulullah]

The Life of The Prophet Muhammad(pbuh): The Conquest of Makkah and Afterwards

The Siege of Taif: Part 3

Distribution of the Booty

After the captives were returned to their owners, the Messenger of God was going to start to distribute the booty.

Meanwhile, it was seen that some Bedouins disturbed the Prophet and pulled his garment by saying, “O Messenger of God! Distribute the booty of camels and sheep among us.” The Bedouins went so far that the Prophet had to lean back to a tree. Thereupon, the Messenger of God said, “Do you think I will not distribute the booty that God granted among you? By God, if the booty was as much as the number of the trees of Tihaman, I would distribute them among you without fear and stinginess.” Then, he picked a camel hair and held it between his fingers and showed it to them. He said, “O people! By God, apart from the one-fifth, there is nothing, not even something like this camel hair, that I have from the booty. And the one-fifth is spent on you when it is necessary.” After that, he had the booty items counted and distributed everybody their share.

Grants to the Muallafa al-Qulub

In the Islamic army in Jirana, there were about two thousand people who had just become Muslims on the day of the Conquest of Makkah and some notables of Makkah that had not become Muslims yet. The Prophet used a new method in order to strengthen the belief of the new Muslims and to gain over the hearts of people who had not become Muslims yet.  

As it is known, the Prophet had the right to use one-fifth of the bounty. He could spend this one-fifth for necessary things and people.

Due to the purpose mentioned above, he gave abundantly from the one-fifth to the new Muslims and the notables of the Quraysh in order to soften their hearts.

He gave Abu Sufyan, the leader of the Qurayshis, his sons Yazid and Muawiya one hundred camels each and forty uqiyyas of silver each. Thus, Abu Sufyan and his sons received three hundred camels and one hundred and twenty uqiyyas of silver totally. Abu Sufyan, who was received such great generosity and grants said,   “May my mother and father be sacrificed for you! You are so generous and charitable. When we fought against you, you fought so nicely. When we made peace, you made peace so nicely. May God reward you with good things.” Thus, he expressed the generosity and philanthropy of the Prophet.

Besides, the Messenger of God granted two hundred camels to some of the notables of the Quraysh and fifty camels to other notables each.

Safwan b. Umayya Becomes a Muslim

Safwan b. Umayya was one of the people who opposed and acted against the Prophet and Muslims severely. He was one of the people that had been ordered to be killed wherever they were seen on the day of the conquest of Makkah. However, when he took refuge in the Prophet, who was like an ocean of compassion, he was forgiven. He asked for a period of two months to become a Muslim. The Prophet gave him four months.  

He also joined the Islamic army.

While the Messenger of God was checking the booty in Jirana, he spotted Safwan, who had not become a Muslim yet. He was staring at the valley full of camels and sheep.

The blessed eyes of the Messenger of God noticed this careful look and senses what he was thinking about. He said,

“Abu Wahb! Did you like the valley a lot?”

Safwan said, “Yes...”

Thereupon, the Prophet said, “Then, the valley belongs to you with all the things in it.”

Safwan was astonished; he could not believe his ears. After waiting for a while in astonishment due to the grants and generosity of the Prophet, who never said no to the requests of people, Safwan said, “The heart of nobody except a prophet can be so pure, good and generous.” He stated that his heart had been conquered.

Safwan was affected by the attraction of the light of Islam and the sun of the prophethood. He uttered kalima ash-shahada there and became a Muslim.

Thus, Safwan b. Umayya, who was the enemy of Islam for years and who was given permission for a period of four months to become a Muslim, embraced Islam at the end of the first month.  

Safwan, who beautified his Islam through good deeds, later stated the following about the effect made by that generosity:

“The Messenger of God was the person that I hated the most among the people until he granted me the valley. However, after his grant, he became the most beloved person for me.”

This incident is an example showing clearly how skilled the Messenger of God was at knowing people and treating them accordingly. Sometimes one compliment of his, sometimes a sweet word, sometimes a smile, a nice act and sometimes a grant was enough to gain over people. Only this characteristic of his is a topic that can be researched. When this research is made, it will be seen that the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) determined the rules and principles of making friends and gaining over the hearts of people more than fourteen centuries ago uniquely through his acts, attitudes and words.

To be able to make people loyal to you with one look, sign, word, smile or act is a characteristic of the Prophet that needs to be learned by the humanity.

The Objection of the Companions

Some Muslims who did not know the reason behind this act of the Prophet that aimed to affect the spirits of the people who had not become Muslims yet or who had just become Muslims felt disturbed by this act. They thought those people were preferred over them and that they were regarded superior. However, the Messenger of God did not do so with such thoughts.

As a matter of fact, when he was granting the people whose hearts he wanted to gain over (muallafa al-qulub), Sa’d b. Abi Waqqas, one of the Companions, went to his presence and said, “O Messenger of God! You gave people like Uyayna b. Hisn one hundred camels each instead of people like  Juayl b. Suraka.”

The Messenger of God realized the reason of the opposition very well. Juayl was really poor in terms of money and goods but he was very rich in terms of belief. The Messenger of God knew that it was the reason of opposition; so, he answered Sa’d as follows:

“By God, if the earth was full of people like Uyayna and Aqra, Juayl would be better and more virtuous than them. However, I am giving them abundantly to make them like Islam and belief. I refer Juayl to his Islam and the rewards prepared for him in the hereafter.”

Some People from Ansar Talk Critically

What distressed the Prophet was what he heard from some Madinah Muslims. In fact, the Prophet had expressed his loyalty and love about them as follows: “My life is together with your life; my death is together with your life.”

The Messenger of God was granting abundantly to the people who had been fierce enemies of Islam and the Muslims until yesterday, who had not made a sacrifice for the religion and who had not undergone any troubles for the religion. That was what made the Companions think about it. They felt distressed by the act of the Prophet because they had not realized the real wisdom behind the act of the Prophet and they showed their distress by their attitudes. Some of them even uttered unpleasant words.

Sa’d b. Ubada told the Prophet about the distress and discontent of some Ansar. Thereupon, the Prophet summoned Ansar and addressed them as follows: “O Ansar! I heard that you uttered some words that you should not have uttered. You said this and that.”

Upon the words of the Prophet, some Ansar apologized; they said, “O Messenger of God! We did not say so; some of our young people spoke like that.”

Despite their apology, the Messenger of God continued speaking: “O Ansar! Did I not come to you when you were in the wrong path? Did God not grant you guidance through me? Did God not make you rich when you were poor through me? You were enemies of one another. Did God not soften your hearts and unite you?”

Ansar said, “Yes, O Messenger of God! You found us in darkness; we attained light thanks to you. You found us near a hole of fire; we got rid of it thanks to you. You found us in aberration; we attained the true path thanks to you. We accepted God as Lord, Islam as the religion and Muhammad (pbuh) as the Prophet. The rights and bounties of God and His Messenger on us are superior to everything. We are grateful to God and His Messenger. O Messenger of God! Do whatever you wish.”

Despite this, the Messenger of God continued speaking. He did not want any anxiety or resentment to remain in the hearts. He added,

“O Ansar! If you had wished, you could have said this and it would have been true: ‘You came to us when you were rejected by others and we confirmed you. You came to us when you were left alone and we helped you. You had been deported but we looked after you like our souls.’  Yes, if you had said so, I would have confirmed you.”

After this conversation, the Messenger of God expressed what he meant to say through the following laconic sentences:

“O Ansar! Do you not want to return to your land with the Messenger of God while some people leave with the goods, camels and sheep that they have obtained?”

The Muslims of Madinah answered this question by shouting, “Yes, O Messenger of God! We do.”

Upon this answer, the Prophet ended his speech, which changed the situation altogether, as follows:

“I swear by God, in whose hand of power is the existence of Muhammad that, if it were not for the virtue of the Migration, I would want to be a member of Ansar!

O God! Show mercy on Ansar, their children and the children of their children!”

Upon these sincere and loving words of the Messenger of God, the Muslims of Madinah sarted to cry sobbingly; their beards got wet due to the tears coming down.  

They made their final decision. They said, “We consent to the Messenger of God as our share of the booty even if we do not receive anything else.”

A unique share of the booty!

God Almighty granted His beloved Messenger such unexceptional persuasive ability. On the one hand, he affected the spirits of his fierce enemies and attracted them to Islam through his words; on the other hand, he eliminated all of the resentment of his friends through one speech.

From Jirana to Makkah

There were twelve days left for the month of Dhulqada to end.

When the Messenger of God was in Jirana, he performed prayers in the mosque there; he went to the mosque again, performed prayers, prayed and entered ihram for umra. Then, he left Jirana and entered Makkah at night with his Companions. The Prophet uttered talbiya during the journey; when he saw the Kaaba, he stopped uttering talbiya. In the morning, he circumambulated the Kaaba with his Companions. Then, he performed sa’y between Safa and Marwa. After the seventh sa’y, he cut his hair near Marwa.

The Prophet did not sacrifice an animal during this umra.

Returning to Madinah

The Messenger of God wanted to return to Madinah.

He appointed At­tab b. Asid as the governor of Makkah again. He ordered Muadh b. Jabal to stay there so that he will tell people about Islam and teach the Quran.

Then, he set off from makkah. He reached Madinah a few days before the end of the month of Dhulqada.

[jcmorrigan]

I have attempted to keep my contempt for Kingdom Hearts III to a minimum. However, it has come to my attention that there are several jokes being passed around about how mean and ineffectual Yen Sid is as a teacher. I’m not demanding everyone change their tune right now and like Yen Sid. He’s not for everyone. But I went through a journey over the course of this series going from disliking him to flat-out loving him, and it really dismays me that I can pinpoint why everyone thought he was so bad in III and it, to use a phrase that has almost lost meaning, “doesn’t exist in a vacuum.”

Historically, Yen Sid has been a punching bag for this fandom. I know. I was there. Doing some of the punching. The problem was we were given Organization XIII and weren’t really sure what to do with them. For one, if you didn’t play CoM in between 1 and II (and not having SEEN Marluxia trying to chess-game everyone to their deaths), which was my story, you got Naminé saying “Good or bad, I cannot say” followed almost immediately by Yen Sid saying that though the Organization would pretend to have emotions , it was a ruse. I can’t pinpoint exactly why the Organization XIII fandom happened (I’m not sure it was so simple as “They’re hot”), but if it was anything like my case, I think it stems deep down from seeing these cool character designs and quirks on a bunch of VILLAINS and feeling the pull of the good/bad binary that suggests you can’t enjoy them as villains and must make them redeemable enough to make fan content of. This is starting to veer into a whole other essay, so I’ll cut it off here - I’ll just say if you know me, you know I figured out that “fun team for fan content” and “moral role models” are not necessarily symbiotic. ANYWAY. ABOUT YEN SID. The other thing I think we have to remember is that at the time, the only people who understood how Nobodies felt were the Nobodies. Ansem the Wise also thought they were emotionless evil. We found out in DDD, whether or not that was planned in advance, that Xemnas basically conditioned them to think of themselves that way. 358/2 Days is so poignant in its depiction of the Sea Salt Trio because you see how the rest have been groomed to be divided and not care about friendship or emotions. So in a way, the Organization defense squad was right, and I think that ended up being kind of the point - Yen Sid was telling us all we knew about this “mysterious entity” that didn’t interact with humanity, and that arc was concluded through Ansem realizing he should’ve treated Roxas like a human person. So that clears away KHII Yen Sid.

BBS Yen Sid was where I really grew to love him as a character. He understands that Terra and Ven need to follow their hearts, and in their individual visits, he basically tells them “Eraqus would not like this, but I know it’s important to you and I trust you, so I’m going to look the other way.” When Aqua visits him, you see a completely new side of him. It always hurts me so much when he has to tell Aqua that Xehanort and Terra have murdered Eraqus. Because he pauses a bit before saying Xehanort’s name. That man was his friend, and all this time, he was hoping there was redeemability in him. (Perhaps contributing to him being later jaded toward Xemnas’ associates, hmm?) But he pauses even longer before saying Terra’s name, and I sincerely believe this is because he recognizes the pain he feels at knowing Xehanort isn’t the person he thought he was...and even more than not wanting to feel it, he doesn’t want Aqua to feel that way about Terra. Yet he knows in the end she deserves the truth. Also, BBS kind of acts “fix fic” toward Fantasia itself, of all things. When I took my stance on KHII Yen Sid, this made me retroactively look at Fantasia and go “What a jerk in how he treats Mickey.” Which really isn’t the case at all - he’s tough but fair, and Mickey kinda BROUGHT THE WATERY APOCALYPSE DOWN UPON HIS LABORATORY. But the end credits scene of Yen Sid and Mickey deliberately subverts Fantasia. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice has Yen Sid strip Mickey of the hat, which Mickey doesn’t want to give up. BBS ends on the note of Mickey feeling that, since he couldn’t save his friends, he didn’t deserve the Keyblade (which is the same pattern as Yen Sid’s hat) anymore, and he tried to give it up. Yen Sid instead hands it BACK to him encouragingly, and this is likely where he awarded Mickey mastery. It takes a scene where we’re used to him punishing the naughty trickster and flips it on its head - when Mickey himself thinks he’s finally gone too far and nothing but a failure, Yen Sid wants him to keep dreaming, keep growing, keep learning.

DDD! Yen Sid tests Riku and Sora for Mastery, and ultimately encourages Riku to self-actualize! He assures Riku it’s okay to mix Light and Dark, which is almost UNHEARD of in this universe! He reaches out to Kairi, he allows Lea a second chance - he’s on top of it all!

So let’s get into KHIII. People have said Yen Sid berates Sora too much. And I’m not saying that’s not true. People have said it’s stupid that Yen Sid doesn’t actually act like a “teacher” or introduce a lot of the mechanics from BBS he would’ve known about, like armor or skimmers. And it kind of is. But I think it’s the old KHII sourness that’s bleeding into this interpretation, because honestly...this is not a Yen Sid problem.

This problem affects the characterization of pretty much every main cast member in KHIII.

Sora is now more focused on his own failings than trying to help others (please compare his reaction to Rapunzel to his reaction to Quasimodo back in DDD to see how selfish he’s become). Riku has almost nothing to say or do. Kairi has been watered down - no sense of humor or sass or initiative, to say nothing of the great offensive death scene. Aqua’s time in the Realm of Darkness seems to have had no noticeable effect on her until Re:Mind retroactively patched it in, and her solitude wasn’t explored. Ventus gets barely anything to do or say beyond being a yes-man. The conflict between the Wayfinder Trio? Swept under the rug. Same with Sea Salt, though at least Axel, Roxas, and Xion all feel like themselves, at least. Vexen, whose primary character trait was “grump who hates everyone,” decides midgame that he is no longer grumpy and does not hate everyone. Ansem, Seeker of Darkness? Don’t even get me started; there is no similarity between this ominous harbinger of Master Xehanort’s will and the mad scientist nihilist from KH1. Master Xehanort himself? Has magically gone from “I must explore the Darkness to see what answers of the universe will be revealed when Kingdom Hearts comes, despite the Light acting as a policing force I find unfair” (BBS) to “I hate that everyone acts like a good person but it’s so fake. I want to remake the world and rule over it to make it better” (KHIII). Meanwhile, Eraqus, whose arc centered around fanaticism taken to an extreme that led him to attack his own adoptive child, is now the voice of forgiveness, acting as forgiveness for Xehanort when it was Eraqus’ lack of forgiveness for any slight that kicked off the problem in the first place. I personally love Ienzo as he is, probably because he’s more sincerely happy now and the seeds were planted in DDD for this characterization, but if you add it up, he’s very jarringly different than the Zexion we were used to.

Yen Sid is a victim of the same character assassination that hit pretty much EVERYONE else in this game. Why is he a bad teacher? Because the guy in charge of writing his dialogue didn’t bother to line it up with BBS or DDD for consistency. Why didn’t he show the characters how to do anything worth anything? Because, again, the designers of III decided to switch the BBS mechanics for Attraction Flows and Formchanges without taking lore and continuity into consideration (and for the record, I love Attraction Flows and Formchanges, but we couldn’t have everything, and we need to be aware of the fact that game design dictates a lot of the story; the reason Sora is missing so much power in the first place is because we need to justify starting the game at level 1). At the very least, they allowed Yen Sid to actually travel to the Keyblade Graveyard to rescue his charges when everyone had a betting pool on him “Sitting in his chair doing nothing” during the end times. And that probably involved a lot of haggling over licensing of Fantasia. They at least wanted to show him caring about the others to that degree.

Like I said, Yen Sid isn’t for everyone. If you don’t like him because you just don’t like him, fine. I didn’t come here to try and change everyone’s mind. But I just think it’s a little bit unfair to harp on how much of a “bad teacher” he is in III when this lines up with none of his prior characterization, but lines up perfectly with how much the rest of the cast is bad everything-else.