#Merlin is not a terrible manservant

[merlinmylove]

I have an idea for a Merlin fic but life is chaos so I cannot write it:

So for whatever reason Arthur is away (probably visiting some Lord or Nobel House) and Merlin stays behind (who knows why).

Uthers manservant is ill so he requests Merlin (after all he’s the crown prince’s manservant he should be good enough for the king).

Merlin is now stuck as Uthers servant for a week and I really want to see Merlin try to wake the King up with “rise and shine!! :D”

He talks too much and is entirely too familiar with the King, taking liberties and speaking out of turn, mentioning Arthur by name and not title, is always late with lunch but somehow…

Uther finds him fascinating. He knows Merlin is completely loyal to Arthur (he said so himself in the show). He understands Merlin hears castle gossip like most staff, but he is actually able to understand the significance behind the rumours. Merlin is also trusted by the knights and has insight into the lords and ladies of the court. He sees things, he hears things. Uther can use this

As a physician in training, he is able to treat Uthers old knee injury, and he is clearly learned. He can read and write better than some of the noblemen he’s met. One day Uther enters his chambers and finds Merlin bent over the desk looking over the grain reports “did you notice Lord Chester had been underreporting his grain storage for three years and is selling it under the table to a foreign king?”

Merlin is a terrible manservant…but Uthers clothing had never been cleaner, his armour so polished, his bathwater so hot and his notes so organised. Merlin is continuously late and covered in mud or moss, but somehow Uther finds he doesn’t mind as long as Merlin keeps feeding him important castle gossip.

Arthur gets Merlin back at the end of the week, and Merlin can finally breathe (he’s been a nervous wreck for the last seven days). Uthers servant recovers and the King has a functional servant again as is befitting his station.

But Uther is now willing to overlook some of Merlin’s …ridiculousness and familiarity with Arthur…after all, he’s realised Merlin does have some uses, even though he’s always late with breakfast.

Scenes like this:

“You’re the clumsiest excuse for a servant I’ve ever met!”

“Yes, Arthur says I have the elegance of a newborn lamb”

“Why is there a twig in your hair? It’s unbefitting of your station as servant of the King”

“I fell asleep in a ditch, anyways have you heard Lady Carteret has been seen buying hemlock at the apothecary? I’m sure Lord Carteret is soon to be missing, poor sod”

“Can you never bring me my breakfast on time?!”

“Sorry Sire, the poison tester died this morning after drinking your tea, so I had to brew it myself, and we’re in need of a new poison tester. And in totally unrelated news Lord Milder was seen fleeing the castle”

“Rise and shine!! The sun is up and you should be too!”

“Is this really how you wake your King? And where the hell is my breakfast!”

“Well Arthur usually throws a pillow at me even though it’s my job to wake him in the morning - that lazy arse!”

[ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral]

Hello everyone! I'm back with another Merlin au to celebrate the Merlin tag randomly trending recently! Enjoy! :D

This au starts at the Disir episode, arguably one of the biggest turning points of the entire series: when Arthur refuses the Disir's deal of where returning magic to the kingdom in exchange for Mordred's life. Well, what if Merlin himself was the one injured by the Disir? Merlin would survive, of course, but Arthur did not know that.

And, without Merlin there to advise him, Arthur was left following the only compass he had at the moment: his heart. And, for once, his heart's message was loud and clear: he could not lose Merlin. He took the time that the Disir gave him to think over their offer, but his mind was made up the moment that the three prophets offered him a chance to save Merlin.

As Arthur accepted the Disir's conditions welcoming magic into Camelot again, ignoring the horrified looks on the faces of the knights surrounding him, the three sorceresses grinned, but this time their smiles were far less menacing than before.

"You have chosen well, young king," One of the three began.

"You have passed the test put forth by you by the Goddess, and for that, she shall ensure your kingdom's prosperity," Another one replied, their voices overlapping and bouncing off of the stone walls of the cave.

"And my manservant will be safe? He will recover, right?" Arthur asked, trying desperately to rein in the panic that bleed through his voice.

"Yes," all of the Disir said softly in one voice, "when you return to Camelot, you shall find him there alive and unharmed."

The tension in Arthur's shoulders eased for just a moment before the prophets spoke again.

"To ensure your compliance with your vow, the goddess demands that you establish a connection to the Old Religion: an unbreakable bond that will forever tie you to its power."

Terror and panic shot through Arthur's body again at their words, a familiar dread filling him. The Old Religion always demanded some terrible price, and now Arthur had to pay one himself. He steadied himself before replying.

"What do you mean by that? What type of bond do you speak of?"

The Disir all turned to look directly into his eyes, their gazes so piercing that Arthur felt like he had been pinned in place by their eyes alone. When they spoke, it felt like their words were reverberating around his skull with their intensity.

"To seal your agreement, the Goddess demands your worship, but not towards her own self. It is the will of the goddess that you dedicate your worship and devote yourself to the god you have disrespected most grievously, the god that your father futilely attempted to wipe out entirely. The goddess wishes for you to worship Emrys, the god of all magic and lord of the druids."

Arthur winced as the name echoed inside his mind, almost chanting 'Emrys, Emrys, Emrys'. Arthur was so preoccupied with trying to gather his own thoughts that he almost missed the quiet, shocked gasp that Mordred let out at the name.

"This is your task, your debt to be repaid for the life of your servant. Devote and submit yourself to Emrys, Arthur Pendragon. Embrace magic in Camelot." Disir continued speaking as one, their voices piercing through Arthur's very thoughts so powerfully that he physically winced and stepped back with their force.

Finally, the sorceresses finished their speech, and Arthur took a few second to calm his own mind and reply.

"I... I understand. If my servant truly is unharmed upon my return to Camelot, then I shall do as you ask."

The horrified stares from the knights felt even heavier as Arthur agreed to the Disir's terms, forcing Arthur to stare straight ahead at the three cloaked figures to avoid their gazes.

To his surprise, the three Disir gave a short, but formal, bow to him, and disappeared into the air with a short "Go in peace."

Arthur stood frozen in the cave for a few seconds, as if a part of him was petrified by what he had just agreed to. The cave itself was near-silent, the only noise breaking through the tension-filled air was the quick, panicked breathing of his knights right behind him.

Finally, after Arthur no longer felt like he would break apart into tiny pieces at the slightest movement, he turned around, facing the knights, who all looked just as frightened and shocked as himself.

Well, all of them except for one. Instead of staring at Arthur with absolute horror, Mordred was looking at him with something that bordered on wonder. Arthur opened his mouth to ask Mordred why his reaction was so different, but the clamor of all of the knights suddenly descending upon him and demanding to know what was he thinking taking that offer? drowned Arthur's question out.

The only knight who hadn't descended upon Arthur in a frenzy was a surprisingly somber Sir Gwaine, who took hold of a momentarily overwhelmed Arthur's shoulder and steered everyone towards the cave's exit. Arthur caught the usually jovial knight's eye and saw approval and some sort of grim gratitude.

Ah, Arthur thought as the other knights berated him for his decision, Gwaine understood. These other knights, besides Mordred, were not of his inner circle. These ignorant knights thought that Arthur was giving up his kingdom for just any servant, but of course, Gwaine knew better. Perhaps, if the admiration that he had caught sight of in Gwaine's eyes whenever they looked in Merlin's direction was any indication, Gwaine knew exactly why Arthur had agreed to the Disir's demands so easily.

There's wasn't anything that Arthur wouldn't do for Merlin.

And that included overturning the ban on magic and inviting the Old Religion into his kingdom, into his soul, for Merlin's sake.

Arthur stayed silent on their return journey, and the knights' pestering slowly died down as they realized that Arthur was not listening to them. As they made camp for the night, Arthur was again lost in his thoughts, worried about the state that he would find Merlin in upon his return and anxieties over fulfilling the duty now put on his shoulders.

Arthur was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice Mordred approaching him, walking slowly over to where Arthur sat, perched on a log and staring into the campfire.

Arthur startled slightly as the younger knight sat down next to him, his face oddly peaceful in contrast to the rest of the knights'.

"I know that the others will object, but I think that you made the right choice."

Mordred spoke softly, in a heartfelt voice that Arthur had never heard from the newer knight. Still, while it isn't quite as reassuring as Merlin's approval would be, Arthur appreciated Mordred's support.

"If I may, sire, I..."

Arthur watched, still silent and deep in thought, as Mordred trailed off, searching for the correct words for whatever he was trying to say. Arthur tried to give him a small, reassuring smile, but his internal turmoil and anxieties for the future twisted it into something more akin to a grimace.

"You know that I grew up among the druids, and I spend my childhood worshipping the gods of the Old Religion, even if I feel more distant from them as the years have gone by. Should you need any assistance or advice to fulfill your new duties, I would be happy to assist you."

Arthur's eyes widened at Mordred's words. That's right, he had almost forgotten that Mordred was the very same druid boy that he had rescued so many years ago. And if Mordred grew up as a druid, then he would know...

"Mordred, what do you know about Emrys? What can you tell me about him?"

If Arthur was going to be dedicating the rest of his life to a god of the Old Religion, he should at least know about said god's reputation, right? It seemed unlikely, but perhaps having more information on this Emrys would ease Arthur's dread just a bit.

To Arthur's surprise, Mordred brightened at the question.

"Of course! Emrys is a prominent god of the Old Religion and is of special significance to the druids. He's considered to be something of a divine king to most druid clans, including the one I grew up in. He's not just the ruler of all magic, but rather magic itself."

Arthur nods shakily, trying to take in what Mordred had told him. If Emrys really was some sort of king, perhaps he could be negotiated with? Arthur was far more familiar and comfortable negotiating with foreign kings than he was at appeasing a god.

The night went on like that until dawn, with Arthur asking questions and Mordred answering and telling tales of Emrys: his power, his mercy, his blessings.

Arthur was particularly interested in the story of how Emrys struck down one of his own priestesses with lightning for harming a kind old man who was under his protection. Based on Mordred's stories, Emrys seemed to be protective and to do well by those who followed his commands.

What would he make of Arthur, then? The man who had been a leader in the slaughter of Emrys's followers? Would he damn a man who had cut down those who prayed to Emrys for protection?

Who was Arthur kidding? If someone went around killing everyone who was under Arthur's protection, they would be tried and executed without hesitation. Why would Arthur expect any different from the god who was a king to the druids?

Arthur's dread and anxiety built as they reached Camelot again. Would Merlin truly be healed? What would happen when Arthur had to uphold his end of the deal? Would he be forced to leave Camelot to enact Emrys's will? Would his own agency be taken away, his body being made a puppet for magic itself?

(Even as such horrific scenarios flew through Arthur's head, if Merlin was saved, then he couldn't bring himself to regret what he had agreed to.)

As they rode through town and approached the citadel, Arthur's heart pounded in his chest with twisting dread.

Arthur's joy upon seeing Merlin waiting for him in the courtyard, with color having return to his face and relief shining in his eyes, barely overtook his dread for what was to come.

And that's all for now! I hope you enjoyed this au, and please let me know if you'd like to see a continuation!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

[keitorin3]

Short: Leon (The Long Suffering)

Arthur: I'm gonna mess with this goofy eared kid.

Leon: *Internally thinking* Why do I feel like Arthur just met his match??

Arthur: He's absolutely terrible, the worst Manservant I've ever seen!

Leon: I'm sure with time he will improve, Sire. It's only been the first week.

Arthur: I've already sacked him, but then changed my mind and re-hired him back.

Leon: Ah... I see... Why?

Arthur:... *Internally thinking* Because I liked the way he looked at me when I won.

Arthur: It was difficult to find good help nowadays.

Leon: Right...

Arthur: Can you believe it, Merlin went and accused himself of being a sorcerer! In front of my father during the council meeting!

Leon: He what?! 😨

Arthur: I know! All because a girl gave him a flower. That idiot. I don't know where his head is at.

Leon: Hold on a second sire, he really said that in front of the King and didn't get executed?? 😧

Arthur: *Waves it off* Yeah, I had to explain that it was cause he had a crush on Gwen. *Mutters to himself* Maybe I should get him some flowers? 🤔

Leon: !? ⁉️❕❔

Arthur: My idiot Manservant got sick and I got him flowers so he'd feel better. 💐

Leon: Arthur, he drank poison for you and you went off to find the antidote. 😑

Arthur: So you think he liked it?

Leon: ... *Takes a deep breath* I'm sure he did Sire.

Arthur: 😁 See! I take care of my servants~

Arthur: *Breaks into Leon's room*

Leon: *Jumps in fright* ⁉️

Arthur: I can't believe him!

Leon: What is it? Is there an attack Sire? Something happened with the King?

Arthur: No! It's that insolent brat Merlin. He came back with some guy, singing him praises and wants me to make him a knight?!😤

Leon: *Thinking* Is this really worth barging into my chambers? 😮‍💨

Leon: Really, then what did you do? 😑

Arthur: Ha, had the guy cleaning the stables.

Leon: 🤦🏼‍♂️

Leon: *Watches as Arthur sits with goofy smile and practically hearts in his eyes*

Leon: Sire?

Arthur: Isn't it the loveliest day to go out for a picnic? 🥰

Leon: Yes Sire, it is indeed.

Arthur: *Nods* I had Merlin pack a picnic for me and the lady Sofia. Where gonna go later today.

Leon: *Confused and concerned* But don't you have a meeting with the King today?

Arthur: *Waves it off* It's fine, I have Merlin to cover for me!

Leon: *Thinking* Oh boy...

[LATER]

Merlin: *Coming back from the stocks* I'm gonna kill that cabbagehead! 😠💢

Arthur: *Walks in* Merlin~! 🥰💐🌈

Merlin: 🌩️🔪😠

Leon: *Makes a break for it*

Leon: *Walks by Morgana's room*

Morgana: Please Arthur he just a boy and he's sick! 🥺

Arthur: I'm sorry Morgana, but my father is looking for him and if he were to find out you harboured a druid, you'll not only get into trouble but so would Gwen and Merlin.

Morgana: *Angry* 😠

Merlin: *Steps in* Please Arthur, we can't let the King kill him. 🥺

Arthur: ... *Turns away* I saw nothing, heard nothing. I've got to look for the Druid boy because clearly he isn't here. *Leaves room without noticing Leon*

Morgana: Tsk, of course he'd listen to Merlin.

Gwen: *Giggles*

Merlin: Arthur has a good heart. Of course he'd help. *The face of loyalty and innocence*

Morgana: 😏 He followed his heart alright. I'll remember next time to have you around to convince him for some things.

Merlin: 🤨❔❔ What do you mean?

Leon: *Overhears and follows his princes lead and continues like nothing happened*

Leon: *Witnessed Merlin doing Sorcery, trying to burn the Black Knight and fails*

Leon: ... I saw nothing. Just tired eyes. Yup, nothing here. *Mutters* Not like Arthur would believe it, or even care.

Uther: Where is my son and ward?! 😠

Leon: They've decided on a friendly hunting trip, they'll be gone for several days.

Leon: *Internally* They went after Merlin to his home village to fight bandits alone. And I'm not gonna say anything because

1. You'll blame Merlin and send him away

2. Merlin's a sorcerer who you'll kill if you knew

3. If any of the above happens Arthur might likely kill you and that'll be a worse headache then his pinning.

Uther: Those brats!

Leon: *Thinking* I couldn't agree more.

[LATER]

Arthur: If I ever retire from royalty, I think I'd like to live as a farmer.

Leon: Ah, is that so?

Arthur: Yup. Of course, Merlin would be there to do the work.

Leon: 😓

Arthur: But I'll get him Cows and chickens, maybe even a horse. He has a soft spot for animals.

Arthur: Merlin's mad at me. He started talking politely to me Leon! Politely. As in using my titles instead of insults. Even avoids looking at me in the eyes. 😟

Leon: 😬 Oof, what did you do?

Arthur: He's angry at me after killing the Unicorn. 😟

Leon: ... That would do it.

Arthur: What do I do Leon!

Leon: Try giving him some space for now and maybe flowers, you've said Merlin likes those.

Arthur: Alright!

[LATER]

Arthur: Merlin's not avoiding me anymore. 😊

Leon: Great to hear, what happened?

Arthur: We faced off the sorcerer of the Unicorns and I drank fake poison before Merlin could.

Leon: ... What?! 😱

Arthur: It's fine. Merlin's still mad about that but now he insults me about my intellect being the size of a peanut. ☺️🌈✨

Leon: I'm almost inclined to agree with him Sire.

Leon: *Spots Merlin and follows him to the Isles*

Nimueh: For a life to be saved, another life must be forfeited.

Merlin: He's my friend. I'd gladly give my life for him.

Leon: *Thinking* God these two are cut by the same cloth. I'm gonna go fully grey by 30.

[LATER]

Arthur: 🥰 Merlin said the most weirdest thing. He said he'd serve me for the rest of his life. That he was happy to be with me. ❤️🥰

Leon: *Bore witness to Merlins power and dedication to his loved ones*

Leon: He cares for you Sire. Would hardly leave your side if he didn't need to help Gaius make your cure.

Arthur: ☺️ Don't tell Merlin this, but I think Merlin's my best friend.

Leon: *Internally swears on his honor as a knight to support Merlin however he could and potentially get his prince to be less of an idiot. Hopefully*

Merlin: *Sneezes*

Gaius: You alright my boy?

Merlin: *Sniffs and shurgs* I'm alright.

Gaius: Hmm, some say that when you sneezing abruptly, it's because someone is talking about you at the moment.

Merlin: Ugh, probably Arthur talking about all the chores he has in stored for me. 😮‍💨

[theroundbartable]

Arthur: I hereby decree that it is no longer legal to fall in love with my manservant.

Merlin: Arthur, that's a terrible way of telling people we're getting married.

Bonus:

Arthur: Merlin doesn't realize this, but I have to fend off 4 marriage proposals a day. Are they for me? No! Because apparently people find Merlin so enticing that they ask me, the King, for his hand in marriage.

Gwen: I'm pretty sure they were addressed to Merlin

Arthur: ...

Arthur: well, they SHOULD have asked my permission, instead of leaving them in giant flower bouquets around Merlin's quarters where they could be found by just anyone.

Gwen: ...

[saladscream]

Merlin’s legs are ludicrous.

Bewildering.

Improbable.

They do not function the way legs should. Arthur is adamant about that. Merlin’s legs are long and lanky and laughable. They lend him a sort of fearless, thoughtless, coltish gait that is uniquely Merlin.

They’re also bendy in a manner that simply doesn’t belong on a full-grown, self-respecting adult. The way the man crouches at the campfire or sits in the grand staircase or curls up in a window seat is decidedly childlike and artless. And yet there’s something about it all, some impossible, raw grace that makes Arthur’s throat feel just a little warm and tight when he sees the long, lithe limbs folded into unlikely (and some might be tempted to say unseemly) positions.

Not that he could hold anything against Merlin’s legs, for these are good legs, however classically inelegant they might be. They’re indefatigable legs, for one thing. Arthur will candidly admit that Merlin can run like a rabbit when properly motivated. A rabbit that would sometimes trip up over roots or tufts of grass, of course. But still, the man can run fast and for a long time, which is always an appreciable skill.

The other thing about them… Well, there is no other thing, really. Arthur has never seen them bare, contrary to the manservant’s other body parts that he feels free to pass a judgement on. He has never caught the long limbs outside of their ever-tired trousers, so he cannot pronounce himself further than to say that they’re strange legs. Long strange legs.

Long strange legs that seem rather hardy.

And flexible.

As Merlin sits idly on a low wall while the knights horse around, Arthur cannot take his eyes off of the man’s posture: the soles of his shapeless boots are pressed flat on the side of the wall, spread thighs jutting out and knees wide apart. There’s something almost indecent to it. Something obscenely inviting. It makes Arthur’s breath feel a little raspy and his middle… coiled for action. The perfect height of that wall is what makes the tempting pose so compelling, probably. Arthur can actually see himself slotting perfectly into place, his hands first landing on the knees and then slowly riding up the outer thighs until they find their rightful place on those narrow hips. That would lead him to being closer to Merlin than he’s ever been in all the years they’re lived and breathed and fought together. Messily enmeshed. Terribly entangled. Ideally entwined. Sometimes…

Arthur is jolted out of his criminal musings when a passing Gwaine thwaps the waterskin out of Merlin’s inattentive hands. It splashes into a nearby stone trough, much to the knight’s amusement. Merlin tsks, shakes his head at the immaturity and murmurs something unflattering – then rolls up one of his sleeves to fish the thing out of the water.

Ah yes, Arthur thinks as the usual guilty tingle flutters down his spine.

The forearms.

Tagged: @miyriu @neptunesyellowsands @dollopole @shuukichan @merlininthedogpark @kintsugikid-moonysversion @toomanyfanficsbruh

1 - Merlin's eyes

2 - Merlin's lips

3 - Merlin's hands

4 - Merlin's throat

5 - Merlin's hair

6 - Merlin's ears

7 - Merlin's legs

8 - Merlin's forearms

9 - Merlin's chest

10 - Merlin's penis

11 - Merlin's arse

[chronicowboy]

every episode of merlin is truly unhinged but like i always forget how fucking insane season 1 episode 10 the moment of truth is. like i just cannot wrap my head around it. at all. the prince's (terrible, just truly useless and insolent) manservant's mother comes to the kingdom asking for help for a tiny village in a neighbouring kingdom because its being attacked by bandits stealing their harvest and the prince gets said manservant's mother an audience with his father, the king even though he knows that to send men into the neighbouring kingdom could be considered an act of war. the king says as much and refuses to help, but the manservant makes the decision to go back and help anyway (he has magic that he'll be able to use somewhat freely without any camelot knights there) and he attempts to resign in telling his prince that he's going home to help, but the prince refuses to accept his resignation and seems truly terrified at the prospect of the manservant not returning whether its by choice or because he is killed in the fight, but the prince lets him go because its his mother and, in an attempt to cover up the genuine emotion he just showed, proceeds to insult his manservant in the most loving way possible. said manservant only smiles adoringly and thanks him for the insults with some intense, lingering eye contact before the prince wishes him luck. the manservant, his mother, the king's ward and her maid make camp in the woods, and whilst everyone else is asleep, the manservant goes to investigate a troublesome noise only to find the prince disobeying his father's direct orders! once again, the prince insults him to distract him from the act of genuine kindness and care. then they make it to the village and the prince, used to all the luxuries of a castle, sleeps on the floor beside his manservant and asks his manservant questions about his childhood and they have real conversations away from the stifling hierarchy of the castle. "he must care for you a great deal," the manservant's mother says about the prince. "arthur would do the same for any village, that's just the way he is" to which she replies "its more than that, he's here for you". that night the king's ward, who grew up with the prince says that merlin is the reason arthur came, "arthur may act like he doesn't care, but he wouldn't be here if he didn't". and, where the manservant would normally dress the prince in his armour, the prince helps the manservant with his. then THEN the manservant's mother says "i see how much he needs you, how much you need him, you're like two sides of the same coin". tell me that's not insane.

[kilgarraghforever]

Somewhat terrible idea for an Asterix crossover:

The year is 50 BC, and Gaul is entirely occupied by the Romans. Well, not entirely. One small village of indomitable Gauls still holds out against the invaders. However, Caesar has temporarily given up on conquering the indomitable Gauls and has decided to give conquering Britain a try. Specifically, the kingdom of one Uther Pemdragon, which had narrowly rebuffed the invasion previously (Yes, I know the timeline really doesn't add up but shh) and Camlot having lost quite a few of her best knights over it.

So, naturally, Asterix and the other Gauls catch wind of this, decide that it isn't very sporting of Caesar to go and invade Britain whilst he still hasn't finished conquering Gaul, and send over Asterix and Obelix to give King Pendragon a helping hand in rebuffing the imminent invasion. So off they go, reaching Camelot before the Romans and managing to get an audience with Uther Pemdragon, accompanied by his son, ward, and son's manservant.

"We've come to help with the Roman invasion" says Asterix, in that manner which says he both thinks they severely need the help and is trying to be polite about it.

"That's all very well" says Uther, looking the small man up and down and evidently finding him lacking next to his big friend, who is carrying a large stoppered pot for some reason. "But what can you do to help? You're just two men."

"Our druid has brewed you," Asterix starts, bitterly unaware of the way Uther has begun to foam at the mouth, "a batch of our Magic Potion. It'll give yo-"

"GUARDS! SEIZE THE SORCERERS!" Uther yells, looking utterly deranged.

The guards duly advance and are almost immediately punted into the ceiling and fall back down by Obelix.

"GUARDS!" Uther yells again, jumping up and down. He continues to do this until all his guards are in a pile in the middle of the throne room, with Asterix and Obelix not in gaol, the latter looking utterly thrilled at the thrashing he just inflicted.

And off they go back to Gaul. Or they would, if Arthur and Merlin hadn't met them just outside the gate. Cue sneaking around and eventually rebuffing Caesar with the help of Magic Potion'd up Knights of the Round Table, Arthur, and Merlin, who Arthur insisted join in because it would be "hilarious to see a twig like you punt a Roman across a field, Merlin."

Uther then dies early of a heart attack at seeing such blatant use of magic, Arthur makes magic legal after seeing it can be used for good, and Asterix and Obelix go back to Gaul having gotten to thrash the Romans and leave Caesar gnashing his teeth in a suitably annoyed fashion.

And thus we have my terrible idea for a Merlin x Asterix crossover, as fueled by the thought of what Uther would look like confronted by something litterally called 'the Magic Potion' as made by a druid.

[delis-4-meats]

I've just had the realization...

...that I- *sobs*- I only hyper fixate on doomed from the start ships and I'm kinda pissed about it, so I'm making it everyone's problem.

OKAAAY HERE WE GO!

Merlin and Arthur:

(There are 5 seasons of romantic/sexual(?) tension I need to cover and not enough time so imma just throw shit out there)

Merlin (a sorcerer/wizard/god/Hiccup Haddock) accidentally gets the job of being Prince Arthur of Camelot's manservant... Bro really didn't want the job. At this time in Camelot, sorcery is illegal but what most don't know is that some are born with magic abilities, so they are convicting and executing innocent people. Soooo yeah, living in the same place as a bunch of anti-witch people and being someone who practices/was born with magic abilities, not good. Eventually Arthur and Merlin became inseparable, Merlin throughout the years has been saving Arthur's life without him knowing and trying to change Arthur's opinion on sorcery without outing himself. In the end Arthur dies (In Merlin's arms btw after he proposed to Merlin) and Merlin is doomed to wander the Earth for all of eternity (Because pookie is basically the wizard god and refuses to die until he sees Arthur again) waiting for Arthur to come back. (SOBS MY EYELIDS OFF)

Megatron and Optimus:

(This is just for TFO, I'm not going to get into the burning shit hole that is TFP, IDW, G-1, and every other wonderful universe's Optimus and Megatron relationship)

Besties/Lovers, inseparable, the ideal relationship in a hard, down on your luck life... Then they realized they were slaves and had two ways of going about taking out their terrible tyrant of a leader (Fucking hate Sentinel). Megs going straight to murder and possibly torture in front of all of Icon (Exposing Sentinel in such a harsh, violent way that would've gone against his moral compass in the beginning of the movie). OP though, has a different approach to expose him to the rest of the world (Sure, is taking someone's head and racking their brain for memories kinda violent, yeah. Does it probably hurtless/is less harmful for big space robots then it is for humans, most likely. It was still a little unsettling for me though) and, unlike Megs, wants to imprison him. Megs got lost in his rage and vengeance (Sasuke core) that made him do a whole lot of things he CAN'T take back, even if he wanted to (He doesn't want to. He's so convinced that he knows what he's doing is morally correct and will fix all his pain). OP was hurt badly emotionally at least (My boi has a whooole lot of trauma) and was actually KILLED by Megs, he has a whole WORLD literally forced onto his shoulders with his new position of a Prime and he (A former mining slave with no education) NEEDS to take care of the whole damn thing. On top of that OP was thrown into war with the Quintessons while probably having to deal with terf battles with the Deceptions, controlling potential riots, politics (ew), and supporting a probably failing economy. ("Thanks Primus," said no one ever. Hi, I'm no one.)

Thorin and Bilbo:

(I'm talking about the movies, yes I read the book, but shut up because I like the movies and idc what you say)

Strangers to friends to lovers in little more than a year. Thorin was guarded, stoical, rude, and harsh with Bilbo in the beginning because he thought that Bilbo was too pompous and fragile to help in their treacherous journey. And Bilbo (being the pompous lil boi he is) is scared out of his head, full of wonder of the world outside the Shire (enough sass to fill the Earth like the great flood in da Bible), and was basically forced on said treacherous journey, has feelings for Thorin but they are purely physical and fade quickly because of how rude Thorin is to him (very ungentlemanly for a king if you ask him). But over time Bilbo proves that he's more than his best suit and by the heavens, Thorin. Is. Down. BAD. He can defend himself to a certain extent, hot. He can use his wit to get out of almost any situation, hot. He will give up his word and sacrifice his honor on Thorin's name and honesty, hot as fuck man. They basically have a WHOLE MOVIE with them subtly loving on each other... BUT THEN THORIN GETS THE DRAGON SICKNESS!! He goes crazy over cursed dragon gold, throws out Bilbo, and starts a war. Then after like half the movie, he faces the danger and says 'NO MORE!' to the gold, rallies his troops, wins the war, AND BLEEDS OUT AND DIES!! IN BILBO'S ARMS!! Leaving POOR SWEET BILBO to go home, alone, depressed, and CURSED!! Bilbo comes home and everyone thinks he was dead so they're selling (Stealing) his belongings, his name and reputation is dragged through the mud because he went on an AdVeNtUrE, and he's single for the REST OF HIS LIFE!! (They ruin me... Cries around my suspiciously bagginshield shaped fics & fanart)

Ok, I'm done... For now.

Gonna be honest, doing this made me think of more ships Bdko (iykyk), SkyStar, and Hijack (In a lot of fics that I read anyway) are a few of them.

Might do this again it was a good vent, besides no one's gonna see this anyway.

[anxiouswildfire]

@lunasky2491 ‘s suggestion from a while ago

Hunith comes to Camelot in an au where merlin doesn’t visit her or write often. She doesn’t know much, since he doesn’t share a lot about his life.

Hunith Ambrosius sighed, head in her hands as she thought about her son. Hunith was the sort to worry. A lot. It had been many years since Merlin went off to work under Gaius. They used to be close, but nowadays Merlin seemed to rarely have time to write his own mother.

She looked over the last letter he wrote, dated back many months, and decided to make the journey to Camelot.

Dearest mum,

Hunith walked through many different towns making her way to Camelot.

I’m sorry it’s been a bit. I’ve been quite busy with his royal highness’ needs. He broke his arm last week and had been complaining ever since. When can I get a break?

She finally arrived many days later, in awe of the towering city.

Life has been good. Gaius is sticking to his ‘merlin goes to the tavern’ excuse whenever I’m needed, even though I’m literally doing important things and have rarely been to the tavern.

She made her way through the bustling loud streets to Gaius, figuring his apprentice wouldn’t be far.

Don’t worry about my little secret, I only do it when absolutely necessary

She quickly asked a passerby about the whereabouts of Gaius’ chambers. They pointed her in the right direction.

Ugh, boss wants me back now. I’m busy every second of the day I swear, but it’s actually fun in Camelot.

Hunith knocked on Gaius’ door. The man answered the door and gaped in surprise.

Miss you loads,

Merlin

Gaius hugged her. “Oh, Hunith.”

“Hello, old friend.” She smiled warmly at him.

“Merlin is still with Prince Arthur.”

“Is something wrong with him?”

Gaius raised his eyebrow, “which one?”

“Prince Arthur. Is he okay?”

“Yes of course-“ Gaius stopped. “Did you not know that Merlin is Arthur’s manservant?”

“What?”

“You didn’t know?”

“No, that boy never tells me anything! Wow! I’m so proud of him! Climbing the ranks.. oh I wish he told me more.” She considered. “The letters mentioning quests for the Prince makes more sense now. I thought he meant it in a metaphorical way.”

“He saved Arthur’s life.”

“Oh, my boy!” She smiled. Then hesitated.

“No one knows about his magic, don’t worry.”

Her eyes widened. “You know?”

“Let’s just say.. he wasn’t very careful in the early days.”

“Gaius!” Merlin walked into the room, then stopped at the sight of his mom. “Mum!”

“My baby!” She rushed towards him and gave him a hug.

Gaius left to give them some privacy

Merlin’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh mum..”

“Merlin, why didn’t you tell me you were the prince’s manservant!”

He blinked, “I thought I did. Did you not wonder why I hung around the prat so often?”

“I thought he was very injury prone.” She said, frowning at the insult.

“He does get into danger more than I’d like..” Merlin muttered. “But no, he’s my friend and my master.”

“Well I’m very impressed that you climbed the ranks-“

“No mum, I just got the job because I saved his life. I’m a terrible manservant.”

“How long have you been his servant?”

“Since the first day I came to Camelot, mum.”

She gasped. “Merlin! How did I not know this?”

“What were you thinking when I’d insult him all the time?”

“I thought he was rude to you when you treated him.”

“I mean he is rude but-“

“Merlin, don’t call the prince rude!”

“Merlin!” Arthur called “Merlin, where are you, you lazy prat!” He noticed hunith had then merlin shortly after. “Oh, hello.” He bowed his head slightly in greeting.“Merlin, who’s this?”

“This is my mum, hunith.”

“Nice to meet you, hunith.”

Hunith smiled. “Hello, Prince Arthur.” She bowed.

“I don’t know where you get your rudeness from because it isn’t from her!”

“I know exactly where you got your rudeness from.” Merlin muttered

“Merlin! Don’t insult your king!”

Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Sorry about my son, my lord”

“Oh no, hunith, it’s alright, Merlin’s like this with everyone. Well especially with me..”

“Stop sucking up to my mom and tell me what chores you have for me so I can get out of your presence as soon as humanly possible!”

Arthur rolled his eyes, “Mordred suggested we all have an extra training session. You need to help me with my armour.”

Merlin glowered with genuine hatred. “Oh of course it’s mordred.”

“I still don’t get what you have against sir mordred.”

“‘Sir’ mordred more like sir murder. I’m going to kill that man someday. Maybe suffocate him in his sleep sometime..” Merlin muttered quietly.

“What?”

“Nothing. I’ll help you in a second after I get my mum settled.”

“I don’t have all day, Merlin.”

“I don’t have all day merlin” Merlin mocked as Arthur left

“Merlin, my baby, why do you not show him you care in more… conventional ways?”

Merlin sighed heavily like he was exhausted. “His head would get too big.” He said simply.

“I think we all would like to have a little love shown in more obvious ways.”

Merlin smiled at her softly, “I love you, mama.”

“I love you too, merlin. But you know that’s not what I meant.”

“.. i know.”

“You don’t want to keep him waiting.”

“I would like to keep him waiting actually”

“Don’t you ever worry about getting fired?”

“Oh getting fired.. that would be a sweet break.”

Hunith laughed, a little confused.

“I’m serious, I'm so tired.” He said with a straight face

Hunith stopped laughing

Merlin started laughing

Hunith smiled with uncertainty.

“No but to be honest, protecting that man from.. special assassins is a full time job. Plus my regular job of being his servant, PLUS a physician’s apprentice? It’s a lot.”

“That does sound like a lot, baby.”

“But it’s fine, I’m good.”

“Are you? You seem tired. You’re his friend, does he know?”

“No, but I’m alright.”

“Maybe you should tell-“

“No way. I’m not losing my best friend and possibly my life.“

“You think he’d kill you?”

“I don’t know but his father definitely would and I can’t make him choose between him and his father.”

“That’s not your choice to make, honey.”

“It’s my life!”

“You’re alone, my boy.”

“I’m.. not. I have Gwen, my friend. I have arthur. I have Gaius. I have other friends..”

“And I’m guessing only Gaius knows?”

“Well, yes, but-“

“I don’t think Gaius is the most understanding. Do you ever talk to him about how much pressure you have on your shoulders?”

Merlin sighed, tearing up. “How did you notice?”

“Just from you talking, baby, you’re so exhausted. I know you. Even though I barely truly know you now, I know my boy.”

Merlin hugged his mother. “Thank you for listening, mama. I do actually have to go before Arthur tries finding me again.”

“Okay, just think about what I had to say.”

“Thank you!” He shouted as he ran away out the door.

Hunith sighed heavily, knowing her son would not be talking to anyone about his troubles.

Gaius came back in.

“Oh, Gaius.”

“What is it hunith?” He closed the door and looked at her, worried.

Hunith teared up. “My boy, he’s under so much pressure.”

“Oh yes.. right that.”

“Gaius, there must be some way to help him!”

He sighed heavily. “I don’t know, hunith. It’s bigger than us.”

“Bigger than us?”

After some tea and cookies, the whole destiny thing was explained. How Arthur and Merlin were two sides of the same coin, Destinies intertwined, the once and future king and emrys meant to bring back magic to Avalon.

Merlin came back. “I asked for a day off.” He said as he walked into the room, immediately chattering up a storm, “Arthur said he’d think about it which basically means no but like I feel like it’s only because he’d miss me, he doesn’t really need me as a servant, he just likes having me around. Though that is helpful in keeping him alive.“

His two guardians exchanged knowing looks.

“Merlin, are you in love with Prince Arthur?”

“Hunith!” Gaius chastised for asking so outright.

“I’m.. what? In love? With Arthur?” Merlin laughed. “If I was in love with Arthur I would-“ he stopped. “Nevermind, um.”

Hunith smiled knowingly.

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!

[lunebris]

They set their camp near the entrance of the cave. It seemed that rain wasn't a possible visitor during the night but at least the men would have shelter from the wind. Many had gathered around the fire, exactly the way they had been doing for every night since their departure from the citadel. Sharing stories, sharing meals. Not so enthusiastically this time, though. They seemed tired after experiencing great relief, possibly not getting sleep last night more than a few blinks. Perhaps this tone touched Arthur as well. Having finished the latest additions on his booklet, Merlin went looking for the prince and found him leaning against the mountain wall near the mouth of the cave, isolated from the rest of the group. His being was half lit up with the warm fire behind him, half illuminated with the cold white waning moon. He looked ethereal, Merlin thought as set himself next to him, hiding the booklet that required the leader's opinion behind his back and admired the views instead. The nature was asleep, only the wind sang a distant lullaby among the trees. He realized he had nothing to say. Nothing important enough that should disrupt this fleeting moment of peace, anyway. He glanced at Arthur, then at the moon. Was it the scenery and silence that made him feel so at peace, or was it because of Arthur's presence? Moments like these, he knew which one it was.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

By the time Arthur had finally let his mind become at ease, the moon was shining high in the sky. It was his job to be alert, to be wary. But for this one moment in time he was able to hand the reins over to his men and simply be. He noticed Merlin's presence and because he didn't say anything, Arthur assumed he wanted the same thing. What a heavy weight it is to carry: existing. So here, now, with the calmness of the evening, he was free.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Eventually, Arthur’s blue eyes found Merlin again. He was looking down at his servant's drawing, just staring at it. This piqued his interest. “What is it? Are you finished?”

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Merlin blinked for the first time in ages when Arthur spoke. ”What? Yes. No. Sort of. The base is finished. What do you think?” He gave the booklet to Arthur, inspecting his face for reactions. ”And don’t say it looks terrible just so that you have a reason to put me into the stocks”, he added with a gentle tease.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Arthur snapped another gaze up at Merlin afraid to meet his eye. He found his manservant watching him. His eyes went straight back down to the page. Arthur wondered then how Merlin saw him and if that's what was on the parchment before him. He certainly was flattered if that was the case. He didn't know how to respond to Merlin's inquiry though. The blunt truth or a soft half truth. He settled by simply nodding his head and handing the booklet back to Merlin. "You're safe from the stocks this time."

Merlin draws Arthur Fanart and some snippets of @suitupbatman and my Merthur story

[merlinmylove]

Merlin is on bed rest and unavailable to work so George has to step in for a few weeks

“George, where are my socks?”

“They’re in the sockdrawer sire, next to your smallclothes — here, i’ll grab them for you”

“But why are they there??”

“Because…that’s where the socks belong?”

“But Merlin always kept my socks in the basket next to the wardrobe”

“Why would he do that? that makes no sense?”

“Huh…no idea… but I prefer it that way, so dump the socks into the basket and leave the drawer empty”

🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺

“Your breakfast is on the table sire, i’ve pressed your formal robe so it’s ready for petitions in the afternoon, and your ceremonial circlet is polished for you”

“Why are you standing over there? aren’t you gonna drag me out of the bed feet first?”

“Your majesty!? why on earth would I do such a thing?!”

“It’s just…that’s usually how merlin wakes me up — nevermind, hand me that apple”

🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏

“I’ve packed your saddlebags for the hunting trip, my lord”

“Good, It’s going to be a great day for fishing”

“Fishing sire? I’m afraid I haven’t packed anything for a fishing trip, forgive me sire, I had no idea your plans had changed”

“Oh right, you wouldn’t know. Merlin hates hunting, so we always fish, but we still call it a hunting trip so that others won’t ask any questions”

“I see, sire (he didn’t) but are you still going fishing now that Merlin is on bedrest and unable to join?”

“Ah…I hadn’t thought of that. Perhaps you would join me?”

“I …thank you sire, but my chores…”

“Of course, you’re right. I’ll ask Sir Percival if he will join me instead”

🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟

“My lord, might I help you with — that?”

“Ah no thanks George, I’ve got it”

“Right of course sire. Might I ask, no forgive me, its not my place to question his majesty”

“No no, go ahead, just ask”

“What…or I guess, why are you…dusting under the bed?”

“Merlin gets terribly sneezy when it’s dusty, so I always make sure it doesn’t get too dusty in here, otherwise I’ll never hear the end of it, ahaha”

“But why isn’t Merlin, your manservant, dusting under the bed himself?”

“Oh he hates dusting”

🧹🧹🧹🧹🧹🧹🧹

[ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral]

Hello again everyone! Since the "Merlin accidentally conquers Camelot" au won the continuation poll, here's part 2!

NOTE: Part 1 can be found here!

EDIT: Part 3 can be found here!

As a quick recap of this au, during the season 4 finale Merlin was caught by Morgana while trying to plant the burning doll curse that would temporarily lock away her powers, and they have a magic battle that ends with both Morgana and her army slain. Merlin thought that no one saw what happened, but Camelot's lords who serve on the council secretly saw everything. So, when Arthur storms Camelot, ready to take back his throne, he's met with the news that Morgana's already dead and a new sorcerer has claimed the throne of Camelot through the right of conquest, and the lords have unanimously agreed to make this powerful sorcerer king in order to appease him. To everyone's shock, Geoffrey then puts the crown of Camelot on Merlin's head, and Merlin promptly passes out.

And now, onto the new stuff!

When Merlin finally woke up, he jolted awake with a start, frightened by what must have been a terrible nightmare! And truly, it was one of the most horrifying scenarios Merlin's sleeping mind had ever conjured to torture himself with: everyone finding out about his magic, Arthur thinking that Merlin betrayed him, and unintentionally stealing Arthur's kingship!

If the idea wasn't so frightening, Merlin would almost laugh at the absurdity of it: Merlin, king of Camelot! What nonsense! Merlin was Emrys, the other side of the coin to the king; he was certainly never meant to be king himself.

Still, the idea gave Merlin a slight chuckle as he climbed out of his bed and changed into his usual clothes, the soft light of the dawn flittering in through his window. Thank every god out there that his outfit didn't involve a crown!

After he finished tying his neckerchief and pulling on his boots, Merlin opened the door into the main area of Gaius's chambers, ready to eat a quick breakfast with Gaius before collecting Arthur's breakfast and starting his work for the day.

Stepping out into the main chamber, he couldn't find Gaius anywhere, but that wasn't too unusual, given how busy Gaius could be with sudden injuries or illnesses popping up in the lower town at all hours of the night. Humming a bit to himself, Merlin began fixing himself a small bowl of porridge in the chamber's cooking pot, making sure to leave an extra portion for Gaius whenever he returned from his duties.

Merlin ate his breakfast quickly, enjoying the birdsong outside and the beautiful sunrise. Yes, this was exactly what he needed to wash away the awful ideas that his nightmare had conjured up.

After cleaning up their dining table, Merlin made his way towards the door, ready go about his day and do his job as a manservant to moderately acceptable standards! Besides, on the heels of Morgana's invasion, Arthur would need a supportive friend far more than a manservant today.

As Merlin opened the door from Gaius's chambers, however, something was conspicuously different. Namely, the fact that there were two armed guards standing on either side of the door, standing with their backs to the door.

The two guards stiffened and stood at attention as soon as he opened the door, uncrossing their polearms so that they would not be blocking his path as he left Gaius's chambers. Merlin froze at the sight of the guards, staring at their backs. What... what was going on?

"Is... is everything alright? What's this about?"

Was it just him, or did the two guards somehow stiffen up even more at Merlin's words?

After a tense beat of silence, one of the guards cleared his throat and replied, "We were assigned to stand guard over these chambers."

Merlin's brows furrowed with confusion for a moment before he figured out what must have happened, realization dawning on his face.

"Oh, I see! Arthur must have increased security around the castle since Morgana's latest attack. I'm not sure why he considers the physician's quarters to be a potential target, but I'll ask him about it later. Well, I'd better get going or else I'll be late to wake the prat up. Say hello to Gaius for me when he gets back!"

The guards looks confused at his words and opened their mouths to call something out to Merlin, but Merlin was already down the stairs and halfway down the hall before either of them could blink.

Merlin got a lot more strange stares than usual today as he made his way towards the kitchens, with many people outright stopping to gawk at him as he passed. Did he have something odd stuck to his hair or something?

Merlin shrugged off the strange stares for now. He'd have time to look in a mirror and figure out what was so odd about how he looked later, after Arthur had eaten and gotten dressed.

Merlin was still a few minutes away from the kitchens when a caped figure emerged from a servant's passageway and barreled into him, drawing him into a sudden hug. Instinctively, Merlin tensed up at the perceived attack, but he quickly relaxed at the familiar smell of ale and apples that surrounded his laughing "attacker".

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you, Merls!"

Merlin sighed with both relief at seeing his friend in one piece and in high spirits, but also is exasperation.

"Gwaine, I'm very glad to see you again, but what are you doing here? You just spent a week in captivity under Morgana, you're supposed to be resting and recovering, not ambushing unsuspecting servants!"

Gwaine pulled back at Merlin's words, wearing a look of confusion as he studied Merlin's face.

"Ah, but I'm not ambushing a servant, am I?"

"Yes, yes, you're ambushing your friend, since friendship gives you more rights to pull stunts like this and give me more reason to worry over your health."

At that, Gwaine's face pulled into an outright frown, a rare sight to see on the perpetually-grinning knight. Merlin shifted around a bit nervously, unsure of what exactly was happening. Finally, Gwaine spoke again, this time very slowly and gently, as if he was trying to calm down a spooked horse.

"Merlin, what do you remember from yesterday? What was the last thing you remember before falling asleep?"

This time, it was Merlin's turn to frown in confusion at Gwaine's odd questions. What did any of that matter?

"Well, I suppose the last thing I remember was... was storming into the throne room with Arthur and Gwen and being informed of Morgana's death anything after that... I don't quite recall."

He must have hit his head or something after that point, because everything after that was what happened in his nightmare, and there was no way any of that was real. Right?

Merlin watched as Gwaine's frown pulled into a strained smile, his confusion only growing. What was Gwaine so nervous about?

"Well, Merls," Gwaine began, slinging an arm around Merlin's shoulders as he started to lead Merlin away from the kitchens, "a lot happened in between then and now, including some great news!"

Gwaine turned to face Merlin, his smile genuine and mischievous this time, and Merlin knew that grin. That was the grin Gwaine wore right before he was about to get himself into some trouble for a noble cause but would hide it under the guise of "fun".

Merlin sighed deeply, not awake enough to deal Gwaine's antics, even if they was coming from a good place.

"Alright, what's this news of yours?"

If it was possible, Gwaine's mischievous grin grew wider.

"For starters, I got a promotion!"

Merlin stopped in his tracks with shock, halting their walk to... wherever Gwaine was leading him.

"A promotion?! How? Why? What's your new title? Will you be leading other knights?"

Gwaine just shook his head, his hair whipping around and smile still present on his face. He started leading Merlin again as he answered Merlin's questions.

"I know, I had hardly believe it myself! But I took some initiative when it really mattered, and I landed myself this new job! It's not really a leadership role, but I might be leading some knights, and probably some guards too!"

Gwaine finally started to slow their march down as they reached what Merlin assumed was their destination: the doors to the main throne room, where Arthur took his audiences.

As Gwaine stopped before the doors, he turned to look at Merlin again, his smile still bright, but his eyes, Merlin noticed, growing strained again, like there was something greatly troubling him.

"You still haven't told me what this new job actually is though."

This time, Gwaine's smile faltered a bit, and Merlin knew at once that this new job was what was causing Gwaine so much inner turmoil. What job could possibly give Gwaine of all people so much stress?

"Ah, silly me, how could I forget! You'll want to hold onto something before I tell you this, because this will blow you away my friend! I got promoted..."

Gwaine leaned in close, almost like he was about to share a secret with Merlin. Merlin leaned in as well, curious about what position Gwaine's surprising promotion had been to.

"to the king's official bodyguard!" Gwaine revealed in a stage whisper, playing the moment up for dramatic effect in a very Gwaine-like manner.

Merlin jerked backwards in surprise, startled by such unexpected news, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense.

Arthur did seem to be stepping up security in the aftermath of Morgana's latest invasion, so it made sense for him to appoint a loyal and trusted knight to look after Arthur's own safety.

Merlin was strangely pleased with Arthur's decision on this. Arthur was finally prioritizing his own safety, and he had picked a great knight for the job! This might make Merlin's own secret job of protecting Arthur much easier! Gwaine would certainly take any of Merlin's warnings of danger to Arthur seriously, and he trusted Merlin enough that he wouldn't question where Merlin got any of his information.

Merlin smiled back at his friend, happy about both this new opportunity for his friend and about the changes it would bring. Yes, this was great!

"That's amazing Gwaine! Do you want to stop by the tavern tonight to celebrate?"

Gwaine laughed a bit at that, still looking oddly tense. For some unknown reason, apprehension started pooling in Merlin's stomach, telling him that something wasn't right here. No, there was something else going on.

"Thanks for the offer mate, but I'm afraid that it wouldn't be a good look for me to be seen drinking on my first night on the job. Besides, I have a feeling that you'll be a little busy this evening too."

Merlin's confusion only grew with each passing second.

"What do you mean by that?"

Gwaine didn't answer him, only giving Merlin a small, almost sad smile. It looked disturbingly out of place on the boisterous Gwaine, ratchetting Merlin's confusion and dread up even further.

Without another word, Gwaine turned and opened the doors to the throne room, revealing the entire council of lords congregated within, giving Merlin rather violent flashbacks to his nightmare.

No, no, nothing as disastrous as Merlin being publicly announced as a sorcerer and then getting crowned king in front of Arthur and Gwen could ever happen in real life. It was simply too absurd.

Merlin watched, frozen at the threshold of the room, as the lords' heads all turned towards the door at the sound of it swinging open. To Merlin's rising dread, they all rose from their seats at the sight of him.

No no no no....

Merlin frantically looked around, hoping to all of the gods of the Old Religion that Arthur was somewhere nearby, because the council only rose for the entrance of the king...

Merlin turned around, hoping to find Arthur standing around somewhere, anywhere, as dread began closing its claws around his heart, which was beating at the rating that Merlin would be concerned about if he could process anything other than his own all-consuming terror at that moment.

Because it wasn't a nightmare, was it? No, that was real. His worst fears had come to life in the most horrifying way possible, and he was powerless to stop it now.

If the lords of the council noticed Merlin's frantic terror, they didn't acknowledge it. Instead, apparently, they decided to only confirm Merlin's deepest fears. After a tense moment of utter silence in the room, broken only by Merlin's jagged breathing, Geoffrey finally stepped forward.

"Ah, welcome Your Majesty! I hope you're feeling better now after you've rested and recovered from your battle against Morgana. There is much to discuss concerning these first crucial days of your reign, including your public coronation, having all knights who are willing to renounce the Pendragon line swear their fealty to you, and determining the fates of those who already refuse to accept your rule."

For what felt like an eternity, Merlin simply stood there, his mind refusing to cooperate or even process what he was being told. He couldn't move a single muscle in his body, paralyzed by horror. He was only snapped out of his fugue state by Gwaine taking ahold of his arm and guiding him towards the table.

Inhaling sharply as he was pushed by Gwaine closer to the lords, he finally processed what Geoffrey had told him. Oh gods, a coronation?! So all of Arthur's kingdom could see how he had stolen Arthur's throne?! Forcing knights to turn their backs on Arthur and renounce their loyalty to him?! This was madness and, not to mention, the exact opposite of what Merlin wanted!

And what was that about punishing people for refusing to accept him as king? Hell, Merlin should reward the dissenters if anything, since they were apparently the only ones who still had any good sense left in this kingdom! Who in their right mind would immediately accept Merlin as their king anyway?!

Right, Merlin thought as his eyes wandered over the faces of the lords, spineless cowards with no loyalty who would turn their backs on their true king to save their own hides, that's who.

Well, the applied to the lords at least, but that still didn't explain what Gwaine was doing here, by Merlin's side, when he should be with Arthur and the other knights!

... Where were Arthur and the other knights?

A jolt of fear once again shot through Merlin, this time alongside guilt. Where was Arthur? What had happened to him? The council had foolishly stripped him of his title, and then what?

Clearing his dry throat, Merlin finally responded, "Geoffrey, what happened after I lost consciousness yesterday? Where is Arthur?"

After Merlin was finished speaking, the lords started shifting around nervously, which began to set of warning bells in Merlin's mind.

Something had happened after he fainted yesterday. Something that involved Arthur.

"Well, Your Majesty, following your loss of consciousness yesterday, the former King Arthur lost his temper and began yelling, shouting everything from accusing us of lies and treason to cursing out the sacred laws of the land. He then ran throughout the castle and began calling upon his knights for aid, explaining the situation to them in crude terms and demanding that they take back the crown from you by force."

Merlin grimaced at Geoffrey's monotone explanation, horrific visions of Arthur calling for his execution as a sorcerer and traitor running through his mind.

"Many of Arthur's knights rallied to his cause, but there were some who were hesitant to turn their blades against you, no doubt recognizing your power and your true claim to the throne. It was from that group that your loyal Sir Gwaine arose, leading a small group of knights and guards in a surprise attack that concluded with the former king and his knights locked in the dungeon cells, awaiting your judgement."

Merlin eyes flew wide at Geoffrey's words, his heading whipping around to meet Gwaine's gaze. Gwaine had betrayed Arthur in such a terrible way? For him?

In response to Merlin's horrified stare, Gwaine simply gave him his most innocent smile, as if nothing was wrong at all and Merlin's world wasn't crumbling around him.

No, this wasn't happening. Merlin had to fix this, and he had to fix it now.

"Look, Geoffrey, I am honored that you and the other lords feel so strongly that I am supposed to be Camelot's king, but that is not meant to be. I was never meant to rule over anything. This is Arthur's kingdom, and I will not be the one to take it from him."

All of the lords around the table look utterly confused, as if Merlin was speaking a completely different language. That was expected, Merlin supposed, if they had never seen anyone willingly give up power. Gwaine, however, just looked amused, like he knew that this was exactly what would happen.

"While that is a most gracious sentiment Your Majesty, I'm afraid that it isn't that simple."

Merlin groaned at Geoffrey's words, bemoaning the fact that the world could never let anything in his life be simple.

"Shouldn't it be?! I'm apparently the king now, so I order you to release Arthur and the knights from the dungeons and to give Arthur his kingship back!"

This time, it was Geoffrey's turn to sigh deeply, as the old man pulled a rather hefty- and dusty- scroll from his bag.

"This," Geoffrey began as he unrolled the yellowed parchment, "is Bruta's code, written by the Great King himself. This set of laws are the foundation on which all of the five kingdoms are governed, and Camelot is no exception. All kings of this Isle, no matter how powerful, are subject to these laws, lest the entire realm fall into anarchy."

Merlin was valiantly holding back the urge to bash his head into the council table. Why couldn't he clear this situation up as painlessly as possible?!

"The code addresses many subjects, and both the right of conquest and the rules of succession are outlined within. I'm terribly sorry Your Majesty, but the code clearly states that when a king who is not of royal blood ascends to the throne through the right of conquest, the previous royal family loses any and all claim to the throne, alongside their lands and wealth, essentially leaving them with no titles or claim to nobility at all. This measure was originally put in place to ban the defeated family from endlessly challenging the victor of the conquest in a bid to regain their former throne and wasting the new ruler's precious time."

Merlin's heart dropped even more at Geoffrey's words. Great, he had not only stolen Arthur's kingdom, but he had also stolen everything Arthur owned! Gods, what did Arthur hate Merlin more for at the moment, being a secret powerful sorcerer ever since they met or inadvertently stripping him of his title, lands, and all his possessions?

"I still don't see why this would forbid me from freely giving Arthur the throne back."

"Your Majesty, the former king is no longer a noble, as the Pendragon line is no longer recognized as a noble house. As such, Arthur is now, by law, a peasant, and it is against Bruta's code for a ruler to cede their throne to anyone but a noble for any period of time."

Merlin bit back a frustrated scream. Why, why?! Why couldn't he just make Arthur a noble again and be done with this farce and-

Wait a minute.

There was a way to make Arthur a noble.

Oh no, Arthur was going to hate this. But, Merlin steeled himself, this was the only way to make things right.

And that's all for now! I had a lot of fun making Gwaine the ultimate "ride or die" bestie for Merlin in this situation lol! I'll definitely be doing a part three of this au soon to resolve this cliffhanger!

Please let me know what you all thought of this continuation!

A huge thank you to everyone who supported my last au post and asked for this continuation! I'll try to tag you all here, my apologies if I missed anyone!

@cookie-player , @miyriu , @nebulousconstellationwriter , @insane-multifandom-brainrot , @elementalpirate4 ,

@tidalwavesandthunderstorms , @gaiussleechtank , @arrowlovesdragons , @lordmushroomkat , @bucketheadpunk14 ,

@retro-wallflower , @ryeallytired , @verxen , @mind-of-a-crow , @aostrek-236 ,

@thedragonkinproject , @orliththedragon , @theroundbartable , @my-own-quiet-corner , @tireddruid ,

@coffee-shop-gay , @sable-nakahara , @deadhotpocket , @bennedict , @samwinjester ,

@linotheghost , @aerismoon , @merthurogies , @ahumoki0 , @chairwiththreelegs ,

@achillesuwu , @pancakesandpigs , @the-king-and-the-druidess , @sugar-coated-prat-dragon , @isaidno ,

@justaz , @auldsusie

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

EDIT: A question for those of you I'm tagging, I'm not sure if this is a tumblr issue or if I'm screwing something up on my end, but after the first few tagged blogs, it shows up on my screen like the tags are just plain text and not linked to anything. So, for those of you that are tagged, can you confirm that you're getting a notification when I tag you? I want to make sure everyone who requested a continuation knows when it's posted!

2nd EDIT: I've tried to fix the tag problem, I'm very sorry if you already saw this post and then got a notification!

[hopelessromantic5]

I’m in a silly goofy mood. Here’s some merthur crack.

Nimueh is seeking her revenge on Merlin for thwarting her plans.

She sneaks into Camelot, disguised to be hidden among strangers. But to Merlin, she will appear as what his heart most desires.

Thinking it would be a beautiful woman, she lies in wait, until the manservant stumbles upon her and his eyes bug.

“Arthur, what are you doing here?! Uther will have my head if you aren’t in the-“ The manservant stops rambling and stares at Nimueh.

Nimueh, of course, is shocked. This is a plot twist.

The boy still hadn’t looked away from her eyes. Searching for something and coming up short.

“You are not Arthur.” He breathes out.

And before Nimueh can think to act on her ancient sorceress instincts, Merlin has her paralyzed and face up in a turnip cart, covered with potato sacks.

Well this is going splendidly, she thinks to herself, as she rolls to an unknown location.

Not only is the manservant desperately in love with his master, but he’s also got his wits about him enough to know the real thing when he sees it.

At this thought, she pauses. This boy must be someone. He has power and knowing that she’s never seen in a person so young. So mortal.

Eventually the cart stops and she’s tumbling out onto the floor of a very dusty apothecary.

“Merlin, what are you doing?” An older gentleman’s voice comes closer.

“Gaius, look at this and tell me what you see.”

The older man appears in sight, peering at her with a permanent quizzical brow.

“Looks nothing more than a kitchen maid. What is the meaning of this, Merlin? What have you done to the poor girl?”

“Wait, you’re telling me you’re seeing a kitchen maid and not the Prince of Camelot?”

“The Prince of-“ The old man looks to the boy “Have you injured your head today, Merlin?”

“No, Gaius. That’s what I’m telling you. When I came into the court yard after just leaving Arthur with his father, I can promise you I did not expect to see Arthur again, leaning against a wall, suddenly craving a tan.” The boy, Merlin, stares and keeps staring. “I think she’s a witch, or a sorceress.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Well, the fact that she looks like one person to me and another to everyone else. And…I can feel it. She must be powerful, I can feel the current of energy underneath.”

The old man, ponders for a long minute.

“Do you remember the creature in the water supply? The Afanc?”

Merlin nodded.

“I told you I believed it to be the work of an ancient sorceress names Nimueh.” The woman internally gasps at her own name. “I also feared she had been keeping an eye on her attempts to destroy the Kingdom. It seems now, she knows you are responsible for her plan not taking hold.”

“You mean she did the on purpose? Came here, in broad daylight, to come after me? Dressed as the Prince of Camelot?”

He sounds hysterical. Perhaps it’s affecting his psyche. This image she’s in now.

“That part is strange.” Gaius muses still staring down at her body like it will tell them more. “You said it looked like Arthur in the court yard, how did you know it wasn’t him?”

“I don’t know.” A lie. A terrible lie, followed by his face turning bright red. She could almost laugh at the foolishness of young humans. “I just…did.”

There’s no reply for minutes.

Then Merlin speaks again.

“I say while she’s paralyzed and without her power, we dose her with a truth serum and find out what she’s doing here.”

‘Without her power’? Excuse you?

She’s only now beginning to feel it. Her magic is still there, in her core, but it’s been locked away. Covered in layers and layers of blankets. Blocked by someone else’s will. Someone with more power than they know.

Now she’s really in for it. If only she could learn to let things go.

“And what are we supposed to do if the real Arthur comes looking for you?” Gaius turns in question.

“Just tell him I’m at the tavern, he’ll never make an appearance there if he doesn’t have to.”

“What are you going to do with her when her powers do return?”

“I will wheel her into the forrest tonight. The spell should last us well past morning light.” This time, Merlin speaks to her. “I’m hoping at that point you’ll just go home and rethink your decision on murdering everyone here and destroying the kingdom.”

Then she’s in a chair, tied down with belts. They forced a tiny tube of liquid down her throat. Or more like poured it in, considering she can’t fight back.

And then they sat back on their stools, six feet away, and studied her.

“Speak.” Merlin commands, followed by a flash of golden eyes. Nimueh was beginning to understand that she didn’t have the upper hand here. Not in the slightest. Her centuries of learning are almost nothing against this boy with the magic of the earth inside him.

“That was disgusting.” Are the first words out of her mouth.

“Well it’s not supposed to be a treat.” Merlin spits. “Why are you here?”

The words come out before she can scramble for control to stop them.

“I’m here to switch a goblet in the chambers of Lord Bayard for the cursed chalice in my possession.”

“For what purpose?” Gaius demands.

“To poison the Prince. To start a war that would tear Camelot and her crown to tiny pieces.”

“Explain your appearance. Why isn’t anyone else seeing Arthur?”

“You were correct, Merlin. You were my target. The enchantment transforms me into the deepest desire of your heart. To everyone else, I was nobody, a peasant they wouldn’t waste the time to look over twice.”

The silence in the room after is deafening.

Merlin is staring at her with wide owl eyes, utterly horrified.

Gaius is looking at Merlin, perplexed.

“What- what’d- I don’t-“ comes out in a string of syllables. “That can’t possibly be.” He whimpers and then buried his head in his hands.

Poor boy.

Love is a miserable beast.

[merlin-reboot-when]

So I decided to get back into bbc Merlin. I have been thoroughly obsessed with that show several times over the past 6? 7 years? But somehow, I never really wrote for that fandom beyond short headcanons.

Haven't come very far with this new wip yet either, but I always thought that in season 4 one of the knights (other than Lancelot, RIP) should've discovered Merlin's magic and maybe that Gaius had fulfilled his purpose and should've... died? Sorry Gaius. Anyway, here are the first ~400 words of my 4x07 (the secret sharer) AU.

There was a fire in the courtyard. Not a pyre, not today, but one could still smell death in the air. It was a funeral fire. Dozens, maybe hundreds of people were present, all gathered on the wet cobblestone to pay their respects and honour the man they’d all known. Arthur could feel Merlin quietly standing behind him on the palace steps as he delivered his speech. Usually writing that speech should’ve been Merlin’s task, but under the given circumstances Arthur had for once opted to write it himself. As he spoke he tried to keep his voice calm and even, but even he could hear the slight tremor in his voice. For the first and only time since Merlin had come into his service, the servant’s quiet presence did nothing to soothe Arthur’s nerves. Quite the opposite, really. The guilt over what had transpired was eating him alive. He had even gone so far as to avoid Merlin alltogether since his return to Camelot yesterday. Not entirely on purpose, he had actually been pretty busy with planning the funeral, listening to Agravaine and Gwaine’s narrations of what had happened and grieving himself – all on top of his usual duties. After the speech was done the crowd slowly dispersed, the cold and terrible weather driving them back to their homes, but Arthur and many of the knights remained there by the fire for a long time until even the last of the flames had died down. Eventually he turned around to face Merlin. He couldn’t avoid him forever, the man was his employee and, Arthur had to admit, his friend. Surprisingly, his usually rather emotional manservant didn’t look like he had shed a single tear. Instead he just stared straight ahead to the ashes, stone-faced and silent. Arthur sighed and opened his mouth. He wasn’t even sure what he was going to say. “I’m sorry” didn’t seem like enough. “Are you alright?” was probably the most stupid thing he could possibly ask right now. Maybe a pat on the shoulder and a sympathetic look would be more appropriate? Arthur had never done well getting his feelings across with words anyway. But before he could decide on a course of action, Merlin beat him to it. His gaze was still empty and his voice carried absolutely no emotion. “You’re going to need a new Court Physician”, was all he said and without even looking at Arthur he walked away.

[theconstantsidekick]

Arthur takes a deep breath “Well, ever since I came back… I don’t know how to explain it, a lot of things seem to click easier for me. When it comes to matters of magic, I don’t understand how I know things but I have… hunches.” “The grimoire,” Merlin breathes out, remembering. Arthur nods. “I knew I’d returned for you, to protect you without ever being told so explicitly by anyone.” He takes a breath and then adds, “I could also feel Excalibur before I could even see it.” “You also knew that Aredian was going to attack,” Merlin points out. Arthur fidgets with his free hand and the frayed strings of his pyjamas (which are technically merlin’s). “I don’t know how I know these things but I know for sure that they are true. It’s like something in the pit of my stomach guiding me towards these revelations.” “Are you certain you don’t have magic?” The question stuns them both. “I… I don’t think I can say with certainty that I don’t,” Arthur admits. “I am sure that I cannot do anything magical—definitely nothing like you—but also not even the basics like lighting a candle. But I can… feel things that I have no explanation for.” Merlin can’t help the laughter that slips out of him. Arthur shoves him with his shoulder. “Don’t laugh at me, you insensitive dollophead!” Merlin can’t stop yet. “I’m—I am sorry, sire!” He’s having a hard time breathing properly. “It’s just—it’s terribly ironic, is it not? For Uther Pendragon’s son to develop a penchant for magic?” Arthur looks at him sideways, a smirk playing at his lips. “I don’t know about ironic, but it is fucking hilarious.” He chuckles too then, along with his manservant.

[cbk1000]

Preview for the next chapter of Book of Merthur. If you don’t want spoilers, don’t read this if you're not caught up with the latest chapter.

So the platonic conversations over wine went on, for weeks, whilst he made an arse out of himself by getting flustered at the sight of Arthur riding at the quintain, and blurting out little dumbarse additions to their conversations such as, “I like your hair longer.”

“Really? Your mum thinks I should cut it.”

“Mums always think people should cut their hair. It’s a mum thing. But yeah. It suits you. I mean. You know. As much as anything can suit your face,” he recovered.

“Ha ha,” Arthur said, but he had coughed, and scratched his neck, and cleared his throat to show he was all right about the compliment, and even had barely noticed it. “Your hair--too. It’s--not terrible.”

“Yeah. It gets curly when I grow it out.”

“Exactly,” Arthur said sagely. He nodded. Merlin nodded. Then they lapsed into staring at one another with a kind of bovine complacence, just gaping whilst their brains ground haltingly along in the background, waiting to be of use again. 

“Ah, for fuck’s sake,” said Gwaine on his way past with an apple.

But anyway, he was managing, till one day he went round later with the wine, and found that Arthur was already in bed, and naked. He was reading, with his bare chest projecting dangerously above the bed covers, and started, and said, “Oh. I thought you weren’t coming tonight.”

“Yeah,” Merlin said to Archur’s chest. “Sorry I’m late. I was helping Gaius with a patient.” He flexed his fingers nervously on the goblets. “Is it not still too cold this time of year to--sleep like that?”

“My manservant always banks the fire too high. If it were still you, the fire would have died a long time ago from neglect, and then I’d barely be able to undress for my bath without freezing to death.”

“It was never that bad.”

“You were truly the worst servant I’ve ever had, Merlin.” He laid the book aside.

“What are you reading?” Merlin asked, trying to prompt his own attention away from the two deadly nipples which he could not stop picturing putting in his mouth. He was hanging on, by one fraying thread, to the idea that it was not very nice to penetrate people’s husbands whilst they were in the next room. He set the wine down on the writing table, so he could turn his back on Arthur’s chest.

“Le Roman de Troie,” said Arthur, which was unbearably sexy of him. “It’s a retelling of the Trojan War.”

“Oh. Any good? You sure you’re not cold? Because I could bring you something. To wear.  If you were. Not that I’m saying anything looks like it’s cold. You know. I mean, it’s all under the covers anyway, so.” He turned back, cautiously, to see that Arthur had arched a brow at him. “Anyway, I’m fine, yeah, really good, temperature wise. Are you?”

“I’m fine,” Arthur said. “Are you?”

“Yeah, great. I am. Yes. Doing well. Thanks.” He was on the verge of taking off his trousers, and getting into the bed next to the warm, nude body whilst Gwen dreamt obliviously one chamber over: but other than that, he was perfectly brilliant.