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merlinmylove · 2 months ago

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Merlin leaves Camelot

“Speak treason against my uncle again, and I swear you can join yours in exile forever!” Arthurs voice thundered across the throneroom.

All Merlin had done was address his suspicions of Agravaines betrayal and for framing Gaius. He hadn’t even mention Morgana, or even Uthers death.

Everyone turned to look at him. The council was seated and the knights were in uniform. The lord and ladies of court are in attendance. As usual, Merlin is standing at the sideline, observing the council meeting. He had spoken out of turn.

He can see it in their faces that they’re just as afraid as he knows he should be.

While they had all experienced arguments between Arthur and Merlins before, it had never looked like this. Merlin had never accused a nobleman in such a public manner before, and Arthur had never truly threatened banishment either.

It was clear to everyone that time it was different, and they were all terrified. But Merlin was no longer afraid. Not of Arthur’s wrath his or judgement. He was just tired.

Tired of lying. Tired of being overwork and overlooked. Tired of never being believed.

He stood his ground. He��d come this far. He had been brave enough to voice his concerns, and had hoped that by doing so publicly would encourage Arthur to listen. But it had had the opposite effect.

“I had no idea,” He mumbled. The room had become eerily quiet. No one dared move or speak.

Gaius, who practically raised the king, and whom Arthur had admitted he loved more than any other father figure, had been exiled.

On the basis of one accusation of magic.

Just like old times. A whisper of the word, and your soul is doomed. No trial. No exemptions.

At least Arthur was happy to see the old man “flee,” for it meant he didn’t have to execute him. He was happy in his belief that Gaius had apparently run, rather than stay behind and risk the pyre.

No matter how nonsensical it all was, and no matter how much Merlin argued the old man had been kidnapped and framed, Arthur had made up his mind and the punishment was decided. And Merlin was done with it all.

“I had no idea my loyalty meant so little to you” Merlin spoke louder this time while he kept his eyes fixed on Arthur’s.

Arthur, who had frozen in shock, seemed more confused than hurt, though his anger was still present in his eyes. His mouth opened and closed with no sounds coming out. Merlin had truly rendered him speechless.

Merlin knew in his heart and soul that Arthur loved and trusted him. But his actions these last months had left him feeling bereft and broken.

“After all these years. After everything we’ve been through, after everything I have done for you. War, dragons, poisons, and heartbreak. After all of it, my loyalty clearly meant nothing to you.”

Arthur had never been heartless. He had always put others before himself, and would happily die to save anyone of his people. He had once drunk poison to save his kingdom.

But his father temperament and parenting had unfortunately had lasting effects, and he would occasionally act out in anger or frustration, before he’d had the chance to think things through.

This was one such occasion.

And Merlin was not about to let him do that again. Not to Gaius. Not like this.

It saddened him to think that Agravaine had his greasy fingers so deeply entrenched into Arthur’s heart. That his influence was so strong. The man in question is seated next to the king, on his right hand side, where Sir Leon should usually sit. While his face was portraying a perfectly false shocked expression, his eyes betrayed him. They were filled with glee.

Banishment had always been Merlin’s greatest fear. Death was of course a huge concern, but to be removed from Arthur’s side was unthinkable. He would rather die than be exiled.

And yet, the prat gave him no choice.

For once in his life, or at least the past seven years, Merlin did not choose Arthur’s side. He would leave. Maybe if he left, he would have a chance of saving Gaius’ life as he took Morganas’.

He walked towards his King with determined steps. His hand reaches inside his left pocket and picks up the Sigil Arthur gifted him a year ago. He holds it in his hands and feels the weight of the silver and his decision.

But at least the decision was his to make.

Merlin forcibly put the sigil back into Arthur’s hands. The man was so stunned by his action that he didn’t move or say anything. All eyes were on them and the sigil between their hands.

“Your uncle is having an affair with your sister. Lord Agravaine is a traitor to Camelot. It was he who killed King Uther by interfering with Dragoons healing magic, just like Gaius told you. It was he who told Morgana of your travel plans. It was he who kidnapped me alongside the bandits.”

Merlin spoke so calmly and gently it that the words cut like a knife. While his anger shone through the words he used, his tone was not angry — instead it was heartbreakingly honest.

“He was the one who goaded you into killing King Caerleon and starting a war. It was he who ended your courtship with Gwen, and it was he who betrayed you when the Dorocha attacked. Lord Agravaine is not your friend. He is the reason your father is dead.”

Arthur stumbled a little at this, and had Merlin not been so angry with him, he would’ve steadied him like he always had. But not right now, he needed Arthur to hear the truth of Agrvaine’s betrayal — even if the clotpole didn’t belive him.

“I have always been by your side, my Lord. I have never given you a reason to doubt my words. I have seen them together. I have seen the many times your uncle leaves the safety of the citadel late at night and does not return until the early morning.”

Merlin sighed.

“It is true that Gaius used to practice medicinal magic. Even Uther knew that and still he kept him alive and at court because he knew that Gaius’ knowledge was valuable to his kingdom. Did you never wonder how Gaius knew so much about magical curses and creatures? He told you many times he researched them — did it never cross your mind that he had books on the subject and your father had allowed it?”

From the look in Arthur’s eyes, he had not. Nor had anyone else in the room it seemed. Whispers and mumbling broke out, but Merlin drowned them out with his words.

“My uncle is not a traitor, but yours is. My uncle has been your steady guide and friend all these years. Yet in his hour of need Gaius, who have always supported you, was abandoned in favour of a man you met two years ago.”

He laughed at the irony and gave Arthur a sad smile. “Funny how your uncle never showed his face until King Uther, who never even trusted him, was dying and you were in a situation which was easily manipulated.”

He took a step back and let his words hover over him like an axe. He knew he had just doomed himself. And he had done so in view of everyone at court, all of whom had a higher standing than him and could demand him executed for his actions.

Each and every person sitting at the table he was never granted a place at, had witnessed his treasonous speech. Merlin looked into Arthur’s eyes as he said his final piece.

“There will not be any reason for banishment, sire. I leave Camelot willingly.”

Merlin didn’t bow. Nor did he look back as he walked out of the throneroom, leaving a heartbroken Arthur behind him. After the big wooden doors closed shut, he could hear shouts and disagreements.

Agravaine was in ruptures. Gwaine was shouting in anger. Leon was desperately trying to calm the situation. He could not hear Arthur’s voice.

In moments like these, Merlin was happy he was made of magic. He could momentarily pause time, and walk freely while the world around him stood in perfect silence. Waving a hand, he stopped time and watched at people stopped moving as if frozen.

He fell to the floor and let out an earth shattering scream. Grief and rage filled him as he clawed at his torso, nails digging into his skin drawing blood, as he felt the hopelessness of the situation bleed out of him.

Merlin allowed himself a few moments to mourn the friendship he had just lost in such a tragic way. Arthur could never forgive him for such a display of insubordination and insult.

He had ended their love and friendship in such a way that it could never be repaired. Merlin had finally truly fucked up by letting his emotions overrun. The emotions he had for years suppressed and ignored.

But as much as he regretted causing Arthur pain, he didn’t find himself regretting his actions. He loved Arthur more than anything in Albion, or even the world. He would let Camelot burn to the ground if it meant saving his life — but he could not stand by and watch as Arthur burn it to the ground himself.

After years of never being treated like a true friend should, of verbal and physical assaults, he had finally stood his ground. And in doing so, he lost his King.

Like always, Merlin had to push down his own emotions, and focus on the task ahead of him. Destiny must come before anything else. He could never help Arthur become the King he was destined to be if Morgana and Agrvaiane were still alive. And maybe by leaving Camelot he had a chance.

Despite his many chances of killing them before, Merlin could never find it in himself to kill Arthur’s only living family members. He would not wish to deprive Arthur of his uncle, but that was until his own was threatened.

First he had to get up and find Gaius, and then he would have a chance to stop Morgana and Agravaine before they completely overturned Camelot and killed Arthur.

Making his way quickly to the physician’s tower, he planned to pack and leave Camelot before anyone, like Gwaine or Lancelot, could try and stop him. But with time still stopped, he had no reason to stress.

He entered his home.

The room was in total chaos, broken glass had left potions seeping into on the floor, staining it. Books were scattered and thrown about from the guards’ search of magical items. In trying to find proof of his magical treason, they had destroyed Gaius’ lifework.

And his home.

Merlin carefully stepped over the bits of broken glass on the floor, navigating through overturned tables and bookshelves, and made way to his bedroom.

The world was completely quiet. A fly was frozen in air, hovering over the windowsill. Merlin realised he had forgotten to unfreeze time. He could do that now, but he wanted some more time to pack and plan.

For years he had put Arthur’s happiness before his own, before anyone else’s even. And he had tried to bite his tongue, to act from the shadows like he always had, but this time his emotions took over.

Merlin could only hope that by causing such a scene, Arthur was forced to face the reality and consequences of his own actions. Maybe by loosing Merlin, he would finally believe him.

Getting his book and Sidhe staff, he quickly threw all his clothes into his rucksack. He grabbed his bedroll and blanket, carefully wrapping his wooden dragon into it, and made sure his room was sufficiently empty, before he left.

Merlin allowed himself one last look at his Camelot home. The smell of herbs and spices filled his nose as he closed his eyes. At last he decided to unfreeze time, and he could hear the people in the castle come back to life.

Life continued in Camelot, as Merlin made his way down the spiral stairs. He knew the knights would be running around trying to find him, not knowing he was already leaving the castle grounds.

Once he had found Gaius and killed Morgana, he would return.

But not until he had fulfilled his destiny.