#Merry fucking Christmas and happy Easter

[ensemblesongs]

!!! user ensemblesobgswhat are your favorite enstars stories !!?

I have to think for this one, hmm... My favourite stories have to beee...

In terms of enjoyability, and attempting not to have too much character bias, not in any order. Boldened are absolute favourites!

-Daydream & Lionheart are my all time favourite pieces of ansta writing, with an emphasis on Daydream. Lionheart has at least three translations online. I'm planning on re-reading two of those again just to compare them. I love an unreliable narrator. Sena really has been Leo's living unreliable narrator the whole time he's known him, hasn't he? Blackbird was good on a writing standpoint, but felt like a desperate attempt to get people to like and be normal about Wataru & Eichi, as well as telling us what we already know. At the same time, it did provide more insight into their mentalities, at least. Clown, Crown or whatever it was called was really nice also. - Both original main stories which I think every average ansta fan should read regardless of their length, although, the ! one is certainly of it's time. EnBasic: Element, Marionette, Crossroad, Meteor Impact, Checkmate, (Sorry for no Rocket Show! we're gonna read it for my friend's birthday!) Showtime, Dragon Fruit (Note to all viewers: don't read Marionette alone & think you know anything about Ex-valkyrie. PLEASE!), Easter Night, EP:Link, Christmas Live, Starry Night Festival, Beasts, Human Comedy (people focus too much on the valkyrie side of this and ignore rabits and it is disheartening, even if I understand why, from producers of them, given that rabits is far more unpopular in comparison, unrightfully yet understandably so. But what of the rest?), Book Fair, Victoria, Liar's Idol, Rainbow, Eccentric, Pleiades Night, Wonder Game, Biblio, Blood Banquet, Butler Cafe, Shinsengumi, Bouquet of Desire, Devils, Horror Night Halloween, School Festival ☆ Tamayori's Haunted Dollhouse, uum... those are the only ones that come to mind. I've read about 2wink and ryuseitai but scatteredly. In another universe, I produce them. EnMusic: Date Plan, Motor Show, Tempest, Night Club, Conquest, Next Door, Hot Limit, Neverland, Feather Touch, Bogie Time, Merry Xmas, Antique Legend, Burning Azaleas, Shinsekai, Obbligato, Astraea's Atelier, Romantic ? Date, Myriad of Colors and Flowers, Shards of Time: Black, Cruise, Grand Slam (I know it sounds crazy. The shotabait foot fetish event. Yes. But it has so many fucking good parts, and the epilogues are some of my favourite things ever.), Portrait, Nighthead, Stormcloud FUMBLE, Poltergeist, Parallel World, Xday (best climax), Absolute (I'm reading it with my dearest friends & I like it a lot so far! But I haven't finished so I won't embolden it. Mixed feelings about Raison d'être but generally it's so good I really love it. ALTERED CHANGED MY LIFE & KILLED MY GRANDMA. Bite-sized mix of both: -Aira: Episode 1 (Idol story), Do The Norm ft. Midori & Chiaki (I love you Midori! I love Noritama), -Tsumugi: This Senior is Prone to Worrying, Switch's introduction: "episode one", (Tsumugi FS1) Blue Hour's Spinning Song, Tsumugi's FS1 4☆ Story which recently came out on Eng, the eating one, "Delicious Happiness" ft. Midori, Episode 1, 2 & 3 of his idol stories, Go Basking in The Sun 3☆ story ft. Rei & Ritsu. -Others: HiMERU stuff. Episode 1 Chiaki Idol Story, Hiiro Idol story 2 ft. Aira, Black Swan ft. Mika & Tsumugi. (Madara FS2) Fates and Feast, Natsume FS2 4☆ Story. The 3☆ where ex-fine play together, Rinne's FS1. MANY Yuuta idol stories & 4/3☆ stories, especially in relation to his growth & Rinne. I like a lot of Anzu's monologues in the novels. I love this Natsuhokke 3☆ story. I like the early idol stories in general honestly. Baah!

Fun fact, I watched the anime before reading anything. My first story after the main story was Easter Night :-) though already interested in them, it cemented my love for switchvalk & their parallels in a square or even a more convoluted shape, each pointing at each other. I really recommend people read 3 stars of their favourites, you can find them with ease if you look them up, especially if they're from popular units. There's a lot of Really Good stories I haven't read but know all the context to and just have to get to, and good stories I have read that I just haven't mentioned whether purposefully because I don't think about them that much or because they slipped out of my mind (or blended together, or I technically didn't read them and just know everything that occurs or read a livetweet thread and I don't want to say a story is my favourite when I haven't read it in full even if stuff I really love comes from it, or I have mixed feelings that are too mixed for it to be a favourite).

I really adore Ansta's writing in spite of all of it's flaws, that's why it's not easy for me to give a simple response. Thank you for the question, sweet thing!

[spacedhead]

homestuck reread #7: a5a2 part 3

this is so fucked up.

but hey check it out. vriska went goat mode

okayyy merry christmas and happy new year to everyone reading. never too late for a happy new year

look at roseee shes serving so hard rn. but unfortunately she is talking to doc scratch. which is something one should never do. especially if one is a light player he really loves to torment light players for some reason

look at how cool jade looks here i would wear the shit out of this outfit if it wasnt approx. 1 trillion degrees in my location. keep slaying girl

what a thing to say. i know what he is talking about and yet i still barely understood what he meant

yeah WHATEVER . most important character my ass. we dont care . booooo. boo

why is jade sprite so sad shes being such a cry baby. honestly normal jade is based for this. jade sprite is just crying and crying for NO REASON. what is even the problem!!!!!

very fucking interesting indeed.... what a funny thing to say. that is VERY FUCKING interesting......

woah he looks so cool i love art i love images. also he looks like has the windows logo on his face... sponsored? hello?

okay so i guess the mayor is having a bad dream. this is pretty scary man... i wonder if its like the ring that he has affecting him in some way. i dont know what it means....

oh? vriska is here now

dawwww shes so EEPY!!! that being said, the next page is [s] wake, and i really fucking hate this one. so im NOT EXCITED.

ARADIA!!!! SHE DID IT!!!! im so happy for her and nothing else happens in this animation so i might as well not watch the rest of it

:(

sigh. man this sucks

look at jade go. she looks so awesome! like a super hero. iron man. tony stark . stucky. i could do this all day . blargh

ok so now im playing another game thing. kanaya and jade just had a conversation about how they have the same role in the two different sessions and how theyre more similar than they thought. also theres some future jade present karkat past jade password shenanigans going on. i loooove when time travel makes no sense and is super confusing. that isnt sarcasm btw. and that wasnt either. also, they updated the sprites in this one so they look way better and sweeeeeeeet. that was 8 e's btw. she isnt even here to appreciate my efforts.....

this is like scott pilgrim to me. theyre about to go at it!!!! who you guys got money on? me personally i bet sollux 3-0s him and doesnt lose a stock

easter egg

anyway yeah guys i was just kidding sollux was no match for eridans insane hope powers. really wasnt even fair to begin with

yeah and now eridan snaps and becomes an incel. sadge. why do people even like this guy?? WHATEVER HES MID HOPE HE DIES SOON RIP BOZO

my honest reaction to eridan to only knocking out the guy he had an actual problem with, but killing two women who he liked and respected

on top of that, gamzee has officially lost it. MAN EVERYTHING IS FUCKING SPIRALING MAN TAVROS IS DEAD KANAYAS DEAD FEFERIS DEAD SOLLUX IS KO'D GAMZEES CRAZY. surely nothing else goes wrong

yeah

karkat....:(

oh.....hey john....nice to see you..... maybe you can lift my mood a little...

STOP CALLING WOMEN CRAZY. even if this one might be a little crazy .. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT

ALALALALLALAAL thats what vriska looks like shes saying. do you see it i see it personally

man now i gotta be equius in this game. lets see how this goes...

SHES SO REAL I LOVE HER. nothing bad will ever happen to her

okay well i reached the end of the game and also the image limit for this post. so ill continue this next time. but i just gotta say

that it was actually pretty good. like go figure the equius one was pretty engaging. equius is very protective of nepeta and it was very sad when he was like "let me take this chance to say goodbye" and nepeta was like "um okay but i will see you soon." like. yeah i guess you will.... :(

i actually liked both of them in this one isolated game . sad for whats gonna happen in the coming pages

[x-heesy]

PHUCҜ ΨΣΔH ITΔLIΔΠ RΔP

Happy f- holidays, merry m- Christmas

December 25th, we are on alert

Still the anxiety rising, hey

I smoke like it's legal, hey

Tell me if anyone is normal

In Area 51, bro, there's Santa Claus, wow

Put the record on and you're dead, you wait for this piece more than the risen Christ

In my house the crucifix is ​​a memory

Son of God, I prefer abortion

I think I go to Mc, I put on a happy face like Arthur Fleck

I make a massacre if, again this year Michael Bublé sings on Italia 1

I smoke but don't mind it

There is the nativity scene that gives me a round of applause

People go where their noses take them

Especially if it is Pippo Baudo's

I ride with the revocation, eh

Widow type noise, huh

Christmas is upon us

Jehovah's Witness

If it gets me that bad

Maybe, maybe it will be Christmas

Even though it all seems the same to me

Every time I think about it I get Charles Manson, eh

I think I'm late today too, eh

I'm not on time for dinner

You know what the fuck I care about gifts

Or to see some stupid aunt

I hate Christmas like the Grinch, mh

'This flow kills you, it gives lessons, mh

I enter a cinepanettone, mh

With a shotgun, mh

New Year's Eve with a bang

I'm crazy, now I'm going to explode

I'm under your girlfriend's tree, I give her my cock with a bow

Hey, Santa Claus

Except one day a year he's just an old drunk

This year I made money and I will ask baby Jesus

What does he want as a gift, like Briatore

Well done, clown sings

All red bro, like Santa Claus

You who are around me, because you want a follow

I'll give you the likes, I'm Santa Cloud

I see you sad, maybe it's because you're not on Salmo's album

And if Santa Claus exists, I'm not the rapper of the year

If it gets me that bad

Maybe, maybe it will be Christmas

Even though it all seems the same to me

Every time I think about it I get Charles Manson

Nice gun, what does it shoot? Balls?

Better not be a tree, because he has more balls

When I come in, everyone goes, "Wow."

Between 'if I call God, he answers me: "Woof"

I don't give a shit, but at least

I always destroy myself when I have dinner

I ate a pandoro with Morgan

There was only icing sugar

Christmas makes you fat as shit

And waste the food we need

I don't pray to an angel, I'm not in Bethlehem

I don't envy the tree because it's broke

I'm sorry if you were alarmed

But you are as out of place as someone who goes on the subway and shouts: "Allah" with a gun

What a bomb of a gift

Your girlfriend, boar

Always eating

He's not Santa Claus

But such a big oaf

If it hurts me so much

Maybe, maybe it will be Christmas

Even though it all seems the same to me

Every time I think about it I get Charles Manson

They already ask me what I do on New Year's Eve

I wonder what I'll do on New Year's Eve

You didn't see us in your club, you're blind

Dinner at Mc, Jesus Crispy McBacon, huh

And at dinner with the relatives, mh

I introduce myself and take my leave, mh

"When are you going to give us the little ones?" (Eh)

I answer: "When I defrost them" (Wow)

I have a recurring dream that attracts me

Convince the Vanzinas to film Christmas in Syria

So perhaps we can see what is happening in Palestine

And on opening day, I shoot myself in the mouth in the front row

Merry Christmas, assholes

With my brains on De Sica and Boldi

We are as empty as your drunken talk

Give each other gifts, not our business, it's better if you leave

Fuck off kindly

The difference is there and you can feel it

I am always fresh, evergreen

You are always cool, always green

I'm going to shout "Happy New Year" at an Easter lunch

I already know it's in Santa's sack

Another great album from a talent dad

Happy f- holidays, merry m- Christmas

December 25th, we are on alert

Happy f- holidays, merry m- Christmas

December 25th, we are on alert 🚨

𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙻𝙴𝚂 𝙼𝙰𝙽𝚂𝙾𝙽 (𝙱𝚄𝙾𝙽 𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙰𝙻𝙴2) (𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚝. 𝙻𝚊𝚣𝚣𝚊) 𝚋𝚢 𝚂𝚊𝚕𝚖𝚘, 𝙳𝚊𝚗𝚒 𝙵𝚊𝚒𝚟, 𝙽𝚒𝚝𝚛𝚘 v7

@ombrabrontok @len0r @luna---zylum @bigbonzo @boanerges20

[dreamland-creations]

Merry Kris-mas and happy holidays.

I personally am not a big fan of Christmas and to be quiet honest I despise it. I hate gingerbread, the noisy wrapping paper, the social rules to act extra happy and be extremely dramatically thankful when you get a gift, the glitter that gets stuck in your lungs until Easter etc etc.

So as my gift to you I have "invented" a little something for my puppetsona (and feel free to use it for your own too) to burn down the Christmas tree and Canon! Mortimer at the same fucking time.

It's a limb prosthetic that also functions as a flamethrower. To literally roast mortimer, your annoying cousins, that one aunt and everyone else that decides to test your nerves!!

The Flamethrower gets activated by doing the good ol'fingerguns.

Use that to your advantage.

And here are some notes I made for it and some BS chemical compound Formular whatever i made for the gas tank:

Feel free to ask if you have any questions to this definetly OSHA approved invention of mine.

[wickedsingularity]

.

[haemosexuality]

the fact that i dont want to put a lot of christian shit on my blog bc everyone that isnt christian already has to deal w seeing christimas shit every single day at the end of the year and that must be annoying as fuck vs the urge to basically count down the days for christmas

[blissfulparker]

tom fucking reader under the christmas tree. that’s it.

happy easter!

Yeah I knew one of you whores would request this. I just didn’t know who and when😭

Holiday blurbs 🥂

“Oh my god!” You say by the Christmas tree early morning as you opened Christmas presents with your long time boyfriend, tom.

“You like it?” He asks as you hold up the new sneakers you wanted. You mentioned them around two months ago and he remembered.

“Like it? I love them tom! Thank you.” You lean in for a kiss. The morning had been spent with kisses and gifts until around noon when you would leave for Toms parents house.

The kiss deepens as he pulls you closer. You still had a few more gifts to go and you wanted to start some coffee so you at least had some energy for lunch but Tom had another plan for your source of energy.

“Tom, we still have gifts to open—“ you start and he kisses down your neck. The matching flannel pajama set drove him crazy. The long sleeve button up that you left a little unbuttoned at the top and the shorts, he didn’t know how he behaved himself last night.

“I wanna open this one first.” He kissed down your chest as he unbuttoned the shirt. Your hands tangle into the morning hair and his hands grip at your hips, grinding them against his own.

“Tom...” you softly whimper as his hands find the shorts. With all he’s done for you this year, you weren’t going to let him be the one fucking you under the tree. “Tom wait...” you stopped him and he looked up, scared that he messed something up.

“I wanna be on top.” You hold his face and it goes from scared to shock, to pleading for you to be on top.

His hands grip your hips as you feel the tree brush up against your arm. Fully nude above him, he loves the way the tree lights twinkle against your body.

“Fuck!” He throws his head back as you move back and forth. “Fuck, darling.” He watches and tries to move his hips to match yours but you had total control of him.

He didn’t know what was better, him getting to fuck you this early in the morning or him fucking you under the tree. His hips finally meeting a pace with yours as he brings you down to his chest and thrusts up into you. Causing you to whine and nest your face into his neck.

“You like that? Thought you had complete control over my gift huh? No darling,” he says straight into your ear. Kissing at your neck, leaving marks that you knew you would have to cover up.

“T-Tom!” You cry and he only grunts in response.

“Close? Are you getting close?” He asks and you weakly nod. A laugh leaves his lips before his thrusts get sloppy.

“Cum for me.” Was all he said and your whole body went numb as you panted out of breath, whimpering as his last few thrusts were sensitive.

His hands moving from your ass to your face, softly kissing your cheek to see if you’re okay.

“Look at me, princess.” And you did. Your face coated with a soft layer of sweat and your eyes hazy as you came down from cloud nine.

“Merry Christmas.” You gave a lopsided smile and so did he. His lips came clashing with yours as the two of you rested there for awhile.

“Merry Christmas, darling.”

[redrisingsun]

Swedish Holidays for all your Young Royals needs

Due to popular demand (by like five people) here’s a brief description of all the major Swedish holidays and how they’re celebrated because I can’t stand here and pretend as if we really celebrate Christmas the 25th. We have more holidays, I've only written about the ones we celebrate in my family. I come from a working class family and live in Southern Sweden, however I do have family in Stockholm. I'm not religious in any way and as far as I know, most families don't celebrate these holidays because they're religious, but because it's tradition.

yall better appreciate this, it took me literal hours

January

1: Dubbed as one of the collective pizza days in my household. It's the day after New Year, and most people either order in or eat leftovers.

Week 2 or 3: Most people return to their jobs, schools and other daily activities.

February/March

Fettisdagen ("Fat Tuesday"): celebrated 47 days before Easter. The actual date varies, all from early February to early March. It's an old Christian tradition where you'd eat fatty foods before the "before Easter"-fast and is supposedly a thing in other Christian countries as well. These days, most people celebrate by eating semlor with their family, and most don't fast before Easter.

The semla is a sweet bun with whipped cream and almond paste.

Våffeldagen (Waffle Day, 25th of March): I think this day stems from a Christian tradition, but these days the day is mostly to get together with family and eat waffles.

April

Påsk (Easter): Again, the date varies, but Easter is usually in April. Easter stems from Christianity and is celebrated to remember Jesus' death and resurrection. Easter spans over a week, but I personally only celebrate one of those days.

Påskafton (direct translation: Easter Eve, English translation: Holy Saturday) is the Saturday of the Easter week. In my family, the children get to look for Easter eggs (often filled with candy).

Some children also dress up as Påskkärringar (Easter crones) and I think this tradition has to do with the Witch Trials in Sweden, but I'm not sure. Chances are you won't need to know anything about this for your Young Royal fics, because mostly girls dress up.

Sometimes, we decorate eggs.

Later, we sit down to eat together and spend time with our families. Common things to eat for Easter is potatoes, eggs, herring and meatballs.

Valborgsmässoafton (Walpurgis Night, 30th): We burn a big bonfire in the evening to celebrate that spring is here. I live in a fairly small town, so mostly everyone gathers at one spot and burns the fire together. When the bonfire is burned, most people go home and that's it. It's also seen as a reason to have a party (mostly for teenagers and young adults, I think) and get drunk as fuck.

May/June

Sveriges Nationaldagen (Sweden's National Day, 6th of June): Most people are home from school and work. We hoist the Swedish flag. Idk. However, the Royal Family celebrates by getting dressed up in Swedish costumes. This year, the King held a speech and the family went to Skansen (which is an amusement park/zoo. You can read more about it here). There's music and the military does their weird little thing. You can watch the National Day Celebration on Skansen from 2014 here.

Midsommarafton (Midsummer): date varies, but is celebrated a Friday in late June. I'm sure there's a Christian explanation for this one, but I don't personally know it.

Midsommar (midsummer) means middle of the summer.

Again, this is a day to eat and spend time with your family (or drink, depending on who you are). We eat pretty much the same things for Midsummer as we do for Easter.

For Midsummer we also dance around a Midsommarstång (direct translation: Midsummer Pole, English translation: Maypole) and make flower crowns.

How Midsummer is celebrated depends a lot on your age (most teenagers and young adults again see this as a reason to party), where you're from and a million other things.

My personal favorite Midsummer tradition is probably more common in the country than in the city, for example. You're supposed to pick seven different flowers without saying a word. Then, you sleep with the flowers under your pillow. Supposedly, you'll dream of your future husband (or wife! But I think it's more common that women and girls do this). This tradition also varies. Some people say you need nine flowers and some people say you have to climb over fencing for it to count.

Some teenagers or young adults spend time with their friends to party, instead!

You can watch part of a Midsummer celebration at Skansen here.

The Royal Family usually celebrate Midsummer privately, but I think there's usually new pictures of the entire family around this time.

Day after Midsummer: Collective Pizza Day 2. Everyone either eats takeout or leftovers because no one can be bothered to make anything and like half of the population has the worst hangover they've had since New Year.

Summer Holiday Note: most people in Sweden have four weeks of paid leave each summer.

July/August

Kräftpremiär (Crayfish party) - date varies, normally early August. Basically people get together to eat crayfish and drink. You can usually get paper plates and plastic cups and whatever with ugly crayfish motives (which is fun), but I've never done this.

October

Halloween (30th): Halloween is nowhere near as big in Sweden as it is in the States. We just buy some lösgodis ("loose candy", where you can throw whatever kind of candy you want in a bag. See pictures). Trick or treat is so unusual in the town I grew up I've only ever had one kid ask for candy and when I celebrated Halloween with my grandparents (in a city not far from Stockholm), it was the same. I usually buy some candy and watch a horror movie, but that's about it.

However, Halloween is (again) a reason for teenagers and young adults to drink and party.

November

Alla Helgons Dag (All Saints' Day): Date varies, usually early November. It's a day to remember the dead and we usually light a candle at the grave yard.

December

Första Advent (First Advent): Date varies. Sunday four weeks from Christmas Eve. We mostly just light a candle, honestly. Then, each Sunday for the next four weeks, we light a candle. Here's actually the Crown Princess wishing Happy First Advent with her family! Unfortunately without English subtitles, but here's the translation: "Today is the First Advent. Advent means arrival and hope, something that feels extra important this year. (her husband lights the candle) We want to wish everyone a happy first advent!"

Andra Advent (Second Advent): date varies. We light the second candle.

Tredje Advent (Third Advent): date varies. We light the third candle.

Fjärde Advent (Fourth Advent): date varies. We light the fourth candle. In my family we usually decorate the tree this Sunday.

Julafton (Christmas Eve): Celebrated the 24th. YES, THE 24TH. Christmas Eve obviously varies from family to family, but there's a few things most people have in common. Usually, we get one gift in our sock (which hangs on our bedroom doors in my home, because we don't have a mantle) when we wake up. As kids me and my brother almost always got a movie or something to keep us busy until it was time to leave for our grandparents house.

For lunch we eat the Christmas dinner. It's the same damned food as our other holidays. Herring, meatballs, potatoes, sausages etc, but now, we also have julskinka (Christmas ham). Some people eat ham even for Easter, but we only really eat it for Christmas in my family. Obviously the food varies a little from season to season, but as a picky eater I always just eat potatoes, meatballs and ham.

At 3, Kalle Anka (Donald Duck) is on. Yeah, we watch the same damned stuff every year. It's tradition, alright? Anyway, Donald Duck lasts for an hour or so, and first you get to see Santa work in his workshop, then Disney characters wish you a Merry Christmas with scenes from their movies (original, I know). There's Lady and the Tramp, Donald Duck (obviously) and a million other things. Then there's also one or two trailers for movies Disney will release the coming year. I really couldn't be bothered to find everything on YouTube for you to watch, sorry!

After Donald Duck, we open the Christmas gifts in my family. Normally we just rip out gifts open lmao.

After opening the gifts, we usually eat a second time. This time it's time for porridge. Tomtegröt (Santa porridge) is sweet and often served with cinnamon. Usually, everyone is so stuffed at this point that you only eat because you "have" to eat porridge for Christmas (again, at least in my family).

The last thing we do in my family, is to get a puzzle out. My grandpa almost always gets a new puzzle for Christmas, so we'll put that on the dining table and work on it together until it's getting too late for us to stay.

The Royal Family usually release new pictures of the family for Christmas and wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

Day after Christmas: Not a collective pizza day! There's usually too much Christmas food left to be able to order pizza. Usually, we have Christmas food to eat for four-ish days after Christmas, and by then you're getting really tired of it.

Sometimes we watch something on television, but for the most part we just sit around and spend time together. I think the Crown Princess read something from the Bible this year? I'm not actually sure if the Royal Family go to the Christmas Service, but I don't think so.

Nyårsafton (New Year's Eve): last day of the year. We shoot fireworks, eat food and dessert and spend time with family. This day we normally eat something "fancy" or something you we don't usually eat.

At twelve, we go out to light some fireworks (or just watch fireworks). When that dies down, it's time for the cheese platter. My dad wants it, no one else ever eats from it, we still do it every single year because "it's not New Year's without it". When we've had the cheese platter, everyone go to sleep and that's that.

People obviously celebrate this differently, as well. It's not uncommon to go see your friends or have guests over, and some people party rather than have fancy dinner with their parents. I personally prefer spending time with my parents, because that's what New Year's is for me.

Some people give resolutions, but I think it's more common in the States.

Christmas Holiday Note: It's common for people to not work between Christmas and New Year's Eve where I'm from.

Some things you might want to know about the Swedish Royal Family and Sweden overall:

The Royal Family in Young Royals is not the real Royal Family (obviously).

The Royal Family usually spends time on Öland during the summers.

Chances are Wilhelm and his family live at Drottningholm Slott (Drottningholm Palace) and not Stockholm Slott (Stockholm Palace). Drottningholm is used as a home for the current King and Queen and is located west of Stockholm. However, the scenes where Wilhelm is home is shot at a palace called Stora Sundby Slott. I doubt Wilhelm and his family would live here if they were the actual Royal Family since it's used as a place for people to gather when they want to hunt for sport. However, if they truly live at Stora Sundby, it takes almost two hours to drive from Stockholm to the castle.

Bjärstad is AT LEAST two hours away from Stockholm.

Bjärstad to Stora Sundby Castle takes approximately an hour and a half by car, and between nine and twelve hours by bus. Which means these two boys can't just take a twenty minute bus to see each other.

Bjärstad to Drottningholm takes a little over two hours by car and four-ish hours by bus.

Bjärstad to Stockholm Slott takes over two hours by car and three and a half hours by bus.

Hillerska is shot at Kaggeholms Slott (Kaggeholm Palace), and is a hotel.

The age of consent in Sweden is 15, HOWEVER it's illegal to have sex with someone four or more years younger than you if you're not both over the age of 18. Let me illustrate: -Person A is 15 and Person B is 15. It's legal because both are 15. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 20. It's illegal, because there's a five year old gap between them. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 18. It's legal (but probably frowned upon), because they're both 15 or older and there's not a four year gap between them. -Person A is 18 and Person B is 30. It's legal, because both are 18 or older. Idk if this makes sense or if this is what it looks like anymore, but this is what it was like when I still went to school. Obviously people aren't going to run around and call you names if you happen to date someone four years younger than you (I know a girl who met a guy when she was 14 and he was over 20), but please, be mindful of this. Our age of consent doesn't give you a right to be weird and nasty to teenagers (yes, I'm talking about Edvin).

Also, the Royal Family have their own website, which you can find here. As far as I can see, there's more information on the Swedish page, but there's plenty translated to English. You can also read of the Swedish Royal Family and its history on the palaces's website, here.

All pictures have been taken straight from Google. I haven't used any sources, because this is shit I do every single year with my family. Feel free to correct me or add things you do, but keep it respectful, please!

Friendly reminder that I've simplified some parts of this to make sense, specifically the dates of the Advent celebrations.

If there's anything you don't understand or want more information on, you're welcome to contact me! I take pretty long to reply, but I'll definitely try to get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you!

[ororowrites]

By the Open Fire - Yahya x Black Character

I’m getting back into the writing spirit and decided to write a little Christmas one-shot about my latest celebrity crush. Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa and Happy Holidays! 

Warnings: Very, very, light smut, fluffy as hell

Word Count: 2,664

Six months was entirely too long to be away from the love of her life. 

Candace tapped the tip of her pen against the blank page, hoping her writer’s block would magically disappear. Being an actress was so much easier than trying to write a novel. Why didn’t Candace just stick to her day job? Since the pandemic began, she was trying her hand at other talents and writing a novel seemed to be the one wish on her wish list that stood out. On top of Yahya being out of the country filming for most of the year, Candace was in search of a way to fight a depression that was on the brink of flooding her life. Her filming project had come to a halt until 2021 and she was stuck in her Manhattan apartment until it was safe to come out again.

Yahya would be home in a couple of days and Candace was looking forward to his arrival. So many months a part made her heart ache and the heart below her waist. After hundreds of facetime calls, numerous texts a day and a few Zoom sessions that included their shared friends, her man would be there in the flesh. 

“Fuck,” Candace cursed under her breath. The block wasn’t budging, forcing the actress to give up and retreat to the kitchen for wine. Her phone rang, interrupting her attempt to brainstorm for the next chapter in her book. “You always call at the perfect time,” she groaned at her twin sister on the other end of the line. 

“Candy, you can never just say hello like a normal human,” Trinity laughed. “But did mama call you with the latest gossip?” 

“No, but she’s been texting me all damn day. I’ve been busy so I haven’t checked them yet. Wassup,” she pressed, knowing the gossip was most likely church related. Their mother had been an usher at the same church since they were nine. 

“Girl,” Trinity exclaimed, before explaining the recent Chicago gossip. “Mrs. Jackson got caught cheating with James. Someone saw them out at the park together, kissing up on each other and all that.” 

“Ewww, in this panoramic,” Candace gagged. “I’m not shocked though. That old floozy was always flirting with daddy and almost made mama beat her ass one Easter Sunday. Remember that?” 

Trinity cackled, “Boooooy, mama was about to peel that woman’s skin back and break her neck. Ol’ girl was trying it that day and knows she is too old to still be acting like that. But enough about Florence, what have you been up to today? Ain’t your man on his way back to New York?” 

 Candace rolled her eyes because she knew where this conversation was going. Her sister had four children, leaving Candace the only childless sibling left in the pack of five children. 

“He’ll be back in two days and then we’re going to Colorado for Christmas. Since we can’t gather for the holidays, figured we’d go somewhere where we can safely distance ourselves but still get away. You know,” Candace said, swirling the wine around in her glass before taking a sip. 

“Mmmhhhhmmm. You gon’ get knocked up in them mountains,” Trinity added in a serious tone. “You two renting out a cabin or something up there?” 

“Ain’t nobody getting knocked up until she has a ring on her finger. Yes, we’re getting a cabin and just chillin’ out. Yahya has been working and needs a break. I’ve been....lonely.” Candace paced her kitchen, trying to think of an excuse to end this call before her twin irritated her soul. 

“Ya’ll haven’t seen each in months, he’s going to tear--” 

“Trin!” One major difference between the two of them was the lack of filter on Trinity’s part. The woman would say anything in front of anyone. “Look, I need to go straighten up before before Yah gets here. I’ll talk to you later?” 

Trinity sighed loudly on the other end because she knew her sister was rushing her off the call. Not liking people in her relationship business bugged Trinity because she was the nosey twin that wanted to know everything, much like their mother. “Well at least you won’t be needing to replace the batteries in that vibrator any time soon since the real Dr. Manhattan is back in the picture.” Before Candace could reply to the vulgar comment, Trinity squeezed out a quick ‘love you’ before hanging up. 

“Nasty ass,” Candace rolled her eyes and placed the phone back in the pocket of her jeans. 

The next two days were the same song. Candace’s brain did not want to focus on writing, so she eventually gave up and settled on online shopping to ease her frustration. The night her beautiful man was supposed to return, the actress fell asleep on the couch. His flight had been delayed by a couple of hours and he didn’t make it home until 3AM. 

He quietly entered the apartment, knowing Candace could never stay awake past twelve. The 6′3 actor, tip toed across the floor doing his best ballerina impression. Light snores could be heard over the infomercial playing on the television. She looked peaceful, almost child-like curled up on the sofa under her favorite coral throw. Yahya slowly leaned in, placing a soft kiss on Candace’s pouted lips. She stirred slightly, mumbling under her breath and fell back into a slumber. 

“Baby,” he sung into her ear, placing another kiss on her cheek. 

“Hmm.” Candace finally opened her eyes to see her Christmas gift standing right in front of her. Even with blurred vision, the smell of his cologne was a dead giveaway. She screeched and scurried to her feet to throw her arms around Yahya’s neck. Naturally, her legs wrapped around his waist as he rocked them back and forth. “I missed you so much.” 

“I missed you too,” he grunted, peppering Candace’s face in kisses. “My baaaaaaby,” Yahya sang as they fell to the sofa in a heap of long limbs. “It smells good in here, what you cook?” 

“Negro, you’re always looking for the food. Ol’ hungry ass,” Candace shook her head and playfully punched her lover’s bicep. “But, I saved you some fried rice and shrimp...homemade because that’s the only dish I’m good at.” 

“Oh, that’s not the only dish you’re good at,” he bit his lip, pulling Candace into a slow, passionate kiss, showing her how much he really missed her. With both of them being in the industry, they understood the heartache that came with being in a relationship and not seeing your significant other for weeks or months at a time. In this case, their time away from each other was extended due to the pandemic. “Mmmmm,” Yahya hummed into Candace’s lips before pulling away. He wanted to save the X-rated loving for their trip when he would have more time to rest and beat the severe jet lag from flying across the world for 12 hours. 

“We should get some food in this belly, babe,” Candace couldn’t contain the big cheesy grin that made her cheeks hurt. 

------- 

Christmas Eve 

Toni Braxton’s sultry voice filled the cabin as Yahya finished pouring the wine for their night cap. They had a busy day on the slopes trying not to kill themselves or break any bones. 

“Baby, where your fine ass at,” Yahya called out, making his way to the living room. The fireplace crackled, sending waves of heat throughout the cabin’s living area. The sun had set, but the mountains were still glowing against the dark sky. Their view was impeccable and the mood was set for a night of bonding and loving. “Candy, don’t make me come get you.” He warned playfully, sitting in front of the fire on their floor palette they had built earlier that night. 

“What was that,” Candace teased, stopping in the doorway getting a front row view of Yahya’s bare upper half. His back muscles bulged as he tended to the fire. 

“You back there sleeping, old lady,” he asked, with his back still turned away from her. 

“No, I was back there wrapping one last gift,” she replied, her voice dropping an octave prompting Yahya to turn around. 

His eyes almost fell out of his head, “Damn girl.” Pulling his bottom lip into his mouth, he moved forward, inspecting the gift that was screaming to be unwrapped. “This all for me?” 

“Every inch of it.” Her words almost came out as a moan. The way this man was eyeing her had moisture pooling between her legs. The fancy lingerie wouldn’t last long at this rate. Words became an afterthought when actions began to do all the talking. All it took was a soul turning kiss to send them both to the floor on their palette in front of the fireplace. Candace couldn’t tell if the fire had her skin tingling or the anticipation of having his hands rubbing over the most sensitive parts of her body. The wine and fruits sitting on the mantle quickly became an afterthought. 

For minutes, they enjoyed exploring each other and parts they hadn’t touched in months. Yahya was nestled between Candace’s thighs, both of them breathless and horny. Candace’s lace get up was quickly removed and thrown to the side. She giggled when his lips grazed her belly button, those giggles soon turning into pants and whispered obscenities. With gentle licks, he coaxed her clit out of its hood.

 Toys were fun but they weren’t the real thing and oh did she miss the real thing. See, the real thing knew exactly how to pull her close to the edge before sending her back. Her man’s skilled tongue sank deeper drawing intricate patterns in her center as she massaged the top of his head with her fingertips. 

Candace’s breath hitched in her throat and her thighs shook awaiting the impending release. “Jesus,” she moaned as her body suddenly felt light and her center thumped. 

“Still as sweet as I remember,” he grinned, kissing Candace’s inner thigh. 

Another track on their Toni Braxton Christmas playlist began to play and Yahya rested his head on Candace’s stomach. Time was precious and Yahya didn’t want to waste an ounce of the rare quiet moment they had. Soon, they’d both be filming again and the world would be back to normal. 

“What’s on your mind, baby,” Candace asked, her heart and breath back to a steady rhythm. 

“I don’t spend enough time with you. At least not lately,” he began. “I knew what I was getting into when we were back in school. Still makes me feel bad though.” 

“Yah, I enjoy all the moments that we do get to spend together. You’ve been working your ass off this year. Yes, I would love more times like this but we should also celebrate all your accomplishments. Because you’re doing the damn thang and I’m so proud of you.” 

“Thank you. You always say the right shit to get me together,” he chuckled. “Sometimes a nigga just be in his feelings and I missed the hell out of you those six months.” 

“Yeah, six months has never gone by that slowly. You should see my credit card statements. I’ve never purchased that many sex toys in my life,” Candace covered her face with her arm. 

“Word? Well.... you won’t be needing those sex toys for awhile.” 

A smirk formed on her lips when she felt him bump against her thigh, “No, no, you just sit back and relax. I got this.” Sitting up, Candace placed a hand on Yahya’s chest, prompting him to switch her spots. 

“You are beautiful,” Yahya’s eyes gleamed. After all these years, he could still make Candace blush like a little school girl. “Don’t hide that smile, girl.” His large hands massaged her thighs as she eased him inside of her. 

They both exhaled, letting Toni Braxton serenade them through the night.

--------- 

Christmas Morning

They had finally made it to bed and got a few hours of sleep before Christmas morning arrived and it was time to get up for their next day of adventures. 

First, they needed to re-fuel their bodies after the festivities that took place the night before in front of the fireplace and in the bedroom. The shower also got some of their loving that morning. Candace could hear Yahya singing his own version of Joy to the World while whipping up his famous oatmeal. That man never knew the words to any song but sung his own words with all the confidence in the world. 

“Yah, do you ever know the words,” Candace questioned, placing a quick kiss on his cheek before grabbing a bowl from one of the kitchen shelves. 

“Nope,” he replied in a matter of fact tone. “It’s the Abdul-Mateen version.”

“Uh huh, sure.” 

Over breakfast, they continued joking about Yahya’s talent of making up his own versions of songs. Joy and love was on full display. They had always been the couple to roast each other and the next minute adore each other like the two biggest saps in the world.. Their relationship was built on a strong friendship they developed while they were in film school before reconnecting a few years later. 

They walked a short distance to one of the coffee shops near their cabin to grab hot chocolate. It was a chilly 45 degrees, but to avoid sitting in the shop, they walked back to their rental, taking a scenic route that Yahya suggested. 

“If we get lost or I end up falling off one of these mountains, I hope my family doesn’t kill you,” Candace joked, admiring the beautiful scene before them. 

“Oh, I know where we are. I was out here early yesterday morning trying to find the perfect spot,” Yahya replied. 

“Huh, perfect spot for what?” 

He didn’t answer right away and instead reached for Candace’s hand, stopping her in her tracks. “Something I’ve been wanting to do for awhile.” Placing his cup on one of the rocks, Yahya pulled a box from his pocket and got down on one knee. 

“What...what...” For once, Candace was speechless and caught completely off guard. 

“It’s hard as hell to surprise you and I’ve been trying to think of the perfect time to do this without your nosey ass finding out.” Tears began to flow down Candace’s cheeks. “We’ve been at this for a few years and I’ve had some of my best moments with you by my side. I want to make what we have forever.” He opened the small box to reveal a beautiful emerald cut ring. “Say love... would you marry me?” 

Being the goofball that she was, Candace laughed between her tears “You’re trying to get me pregnant on this trip, aren’t you?” 

“Well that can be arranged if you say yes.” 

“Ye...yes, of course!” Her vision blurred as Yahya slid the rock on her finger and stood to his feet to kiss his future bride. Moments later Yahya’s phone rang with an incoming Facetime call. 

“Hey Trinity, hey moms,” Yahya cheesed, turning his phone to share the screen with Candace. “Looks like you two aren’t getting rid of me anytime soon.” 

“She said yes,” Trinity screamed, jumping up and down with their mother. “Aye, aye, ayyyeeeeee.” 

Still in complete shock and happiness overflowing, Candace shrieked, “Wait, you two knew about this the entire time!” 

“Yep! It’s been burning my ass to keep this secret from you all this time,” Trinity teased, sticking out her tongue. “He took mom with him to ring shop last year and everything.” 

“Welcome to the family, son. Congratulations baby,” Ms. Fredrick sang, clapping for the happy couple on the other end of the call. 

“Now, I hope you two are using protection out there because having a baby before the wedding is-” 

“Trinity,” Candace called out, shaking her head. 

They should have followed Trinity’s advice because approximately two months later..... 

Hope you all enjoyed! This is the first piece I’ve written in a year. I have no idea if I’ m going to continue the stories I began before my hiatus, yet. But, we will explore that in the coming year! Who knows, we may get more Candace and Yahya depending on how hard writer’s block slaps me. May the new year bring you all peace and joy! 

[system-reset]

Official List of Holiday Greetings From me

Happy Canada Day, fireworks don't erase history // Happy Canada day, hope you feel like shit for celebrating this day

Happy Independence Day to the Americans, remember that alcohol and fireworks don't erase history

Merry Christmas, the Christians stole this holiday 🖕

Happy Easter, bunnies don't actually shit out chocolate eggs

Happy Halloween, this is the only good holiday that remains

Happy Valentine's Day, this day is pointless

Happy labor Day, what the fuck is this even for?

[lilnasxvevo]

My thing about “should you say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays” is that like, it’s fucking weird to say “Merry Christmas” on a day that isn’t Christmas. No one does that for any other holiday. You don’t start wishing people a Happy Easter the week before Palm Sunday. You don’t start wishing people a Happy Thanksgiving on November 1st. You don’t start wishing people a Happy Fourth of July in early June.

And yet one of the receptionists at the dentist just tried wishing me a Merry Christmas on December 8????

“Happy Holidays” is fine honestly like starting on the first day of Hanukkah or on Thanksgiving, whichever comes first, and then on through like January 2nd, or even on through Valentine’s Day if you wanna get a little freaky with it. But “Merry Christmas” 17 days before Christmas is just weird!

[evendeadlmthehero]

The Keepers (2/10) “The Hulk and Arrow”

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Based on after the events of Avengers: Endgame and Spider-Man: FFH

Summary: The Keepers, they call themselves. Little children know them as Santa, The Easter Bunny, Leprechaun, Jack O’ Latern and you. You’re Valentine Cupid; a seducing-angel who’s good with arrows. The Keepers have been a secret for centuries, but when one member goes rogue, this forces The Keepers out of hiding and needing the help of The Avengers.

‘The Keepers’ Masterlist

The quinjet hummed quietly as it neared it’s destination. Bucky had stood in the back, adding knives to his pockets and bullets to his guns. He had hoped that the mission goes smoothly. That Bruce won’t require to Hulk out on anyone, and that he wouldn’t have to shoot anyone. He didn’t want to add to his body count.

Your face however had haunted his mind. He had never seen someone as beautiful as you. Your beauty was not the standard of Hollywood. Your beauty was so unique that it had its own standard. One that went above and beyond Hollywood.

“Okay, it’s 1 minute to land. We’re landing on the old Avengers building in New York,” Sam spoke, grabbing the shield from the ground. “We got clearance from the new owner. Lets make sure this goes smoothly guys, no casualties. It’s in, out and then questioning these guys. You know your missions. You know your assigned targets. Don’t underestimate them. We do not know them and they can be a threat. Make sure you watch each other’s sixes.”

The Avengers nodded, standing up to ready themselves. Sam then looked at Bruce who was standing in the back beside Wanda. “Bruce remember, when I give you the signal, that’s when you come in. You will only be called if things go south and the targets won’t cooperate.”

“Well hopefully it won’t come down to that-“ Bruce had spoken, but stopped when he looked outside when the view of New York had come into view. There was a great snow storm covering the city. Snowflakes fell profusely, which were carried by what looked like a tornado. 

There was also flashes of fire near the ground but Bucky couldn’t see where the source was. Snow mist was everywhere, blocking his vision. He couldn’t see anything at all but ice and fire.

Sam quickly ran over to the pilot seat, switching the flight mode from automatic to manual. Bruce also walked over, taking the co-pilot seat that had a bigger chair due to his hulkiness-size. Both men tried to manuver the quinjet away from the tornado. “New plan, we’re going to land on the bridge!”

Mist had clouded his vision and he was unable to see anything. He was flying in blind. Bucky walked over to the windows, looking down at the city. His face had morphed into shock when he saw the same old man controlling both the tornado and snow. He then fell back when he saw something flying in full speed passed the quinjet.

“What the fuck.”

5 hours earlier

We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Good tidings we bring, to you and your kin. Good tidings for Christmas and a happy new year.

You sipped your coffee, a blanket wrapped around you as you listened to the radio. It was the day before Christmas, the first Holiday since the disappearance of Jacko. Your hair was a tangled mess, bags under your eye. Yes, Jacko was still missing and you had yet to recover.

You wore your Christmas sweater, black leggings and snowmen socks. You were desperate to keep the Holiday alive, despite everyone being in a gloomy mood. You hadn’t had a proper nights rest since the 31st of October and you haven’t been out since then.

Truth is, none of you have been out since that night. Nicholas Santa and Osterhase had both went out in search for Jacko and Saint had stayed with you. If Nick and Osterhase were to go missing, at least you and Saint would be safe to remain has Keepers.

But they came back, to your luck. However they were the bearers of bad news when they had announced the official disappearance of Jacko. He was gone, he really was. And there was nothing that you could do but wait.

“Maybe he ran away,” Osterhase spoke, when he and Nicholas came back from their search. You sat down on the couch, tears streaming down your face as Saint rubbed your back. Nicholas looked away in sorrow, feeling guilty that he couldn’t find Jacko. “Maybe he wasn’t ready to be a Keeper.”

“The guy is almost 200 years old, Osterhase!” You yelled back, wiping your tears away furiously whilst getting up. Saint got up with you as well, trying to hold you back from doing something irrational. “What would he go back to? Everyone he knows is now dead! If anyone was not ready for the Keepers, it’s me! I had a fiancé, a family, and you took that away from me! You all did! And they’re still out there, thinking that I’m dead, yet I’m still here!”

Your thoughts vanish from your head as Nicholas walked into the room, donning a red shirt. When he armoured up, that’s when his infamous red suit with white fur outlines came to light.

When you first became a Keeper, you always wondered how Nicholas gave presents without Adults getting suspicious about there being random gifts scattered under a tree that they never bought. Then you found out that Nicholas implanted false memories into their mind, one of them buying the gifts for their children. The fact that he also had the power of invisibility also enabled him to remain anonymous.

“Good morning,” he muttered to you, buttoning up his coat. You gave him a little nod, taking a sip from your coffee. You watched him getting dressed, a feeling of sickness coming over you. You and Santa were not as close as you were to the other members, but you were still worried about him.

“I’m coming with you,” your voice just above a whisper. It was hoarse, due to the nights you spent crying. Nicholas knew this, as he heard your cries during the early hours. He stopped buttoning his shirt when he heard your voice.

“Coming where?”

“Tomorrow,” you finished, putting your mug down on the coffee table. “For Christmas.”

Nicholas scoffed, shaking his head at you. He scratched his beard before his blue eyes made its way towards you. “I’m centuries old, I can take care of myself.”

“I don’t care how strong you think you are Nicholas,” you replied back, getting up from your seat. “I am coming whether you like it or not.”

You crossed your arms, standing in front of him in determination. By the looks of it, Nicholas knew you weren’t backing down. And by the slight tint of pink on the tip of your ears, he knew that meant you wanted to cry. He let out a sigh, continuing to button his shirt up.

“How about you and I go to that little cafe in the City you always tell Osterhase about, yeah?” Nicholas spoke, before walking over to the door, his hand on the handle. He stopped when he saw you weren’t following him. “Are you coming or not?”

You stared at him, before nodding slowly. “Let me just get dressed.”

•

People murmured around you as both you and Nicholas were sitting in the cafe. Nicholas was sipping some lemon tea whilst you settled for a red velvet cake. It was quiet between you two, a sense of gloom settling in. Both of you felt like you failed as a Keeper. Like if you couldn’t save your own family, how did you guys expect to save the world?

“I know what you’re thinking,” Nicholas spoke, blowing over his tea to cool it down. You looked at him in confusion as he took a sip. “You talk in your sleep every night since Jacko went missing. You want the Keepers to go public. But you have to realise, that we can’t.”

“And why so?” You told him, taking a bite off your cake. Nicholas was about to speak before a waiter walked up to the table, placing a Nutella crossiant on the table. You looked at it confusedly, before facing the handsome waiter. “Sorry, we did not order this.”

“Don’t worry, it’s on the house,” he replied back, giving you a wink. He walked away, leaving you and Nicholas alone. Nicholas looked at you with an annoyed looked. You shrugged at him. It’s not like you had control over your seductive abilities.

“Anyway, back to what I was saying, we simply can’t,” Nicholas spoke, placing his cup down. You looked outside the window, seeing the sky slowly darken, despite it being only 12pm. Your attention went back to Nicholas as he kept speaking. “The Keepers work better when they’re hidden from the public’s knowledge, from the Universe’s knowledge.”

“You did nothing,” you interrupted him, pushing the plate away from you. “You guys did nothing for New York, nothing for Sokovia when I said we should go and fight and nothing when Thanos had obliterated half of the universe. But no, that doesn’t matter. Because none of The Keepers vanished. Because we’re dead already, right? None of us turned into ash so we didn’t need to fight a battle that didn’t affect us. But what exactly do we do, huh? The Keepers are meant to save the world yet we deflect the biggest battles on Earth to who? The Avengers?”

“Valentine, you know we can’t fight publically and the Avengers had it handled anyway if I sensed for a second that they didn’t then I would’ve gathered the Keepers. We fight when there’s no one else left to fight. Like in London-“

“Who says we can’t be public?” You spoke back, trying to get the truth out of him. He rubbed his chin in anger before letting out a sigh. “Jacko told me The Keeper’s were once living amongst humans, fighting with them, not away from them. We can make a stand Nicholas. We can help find Jacko without being tied down to our anonymity, we can get rid of The Avengers who fight for glory and install a new band of heroes who-“

“Last time we were public, all of the Keepers got killed!” Nicholas whispered-yelled at you, slamming his fist in the table. You went quiet at the revelation, leaning back to your seat. He then sighed, a look of sorrow pooling his eyes. “Long ago, dark elves ruled earth. Without any opposition, without any question. I used to give gifts to little children to make their days just a bit better. My sister, Saint Patricia used try to make people believe that certain things had luck within them, you know, like white doves, four leaf clovers. Just random objects, and she would tell people they had luck within them just to give them something to believe in. And they did believe.”

“My uncle, Jackson Latern, used to play pranks, you know,” He smiled fondly to himself. This had also cause a smile to break out on your face. “And gave us treats. Lots of them. Drived my mother mad. It also didn’t help that his brother, my Uncle Osterhase, who had protruding teeth, give us chocolate as well. My bestfriend, yes my best friend. Valentino Cupid. A ladies man. Every girl, and man, was in love with him. He was also very caring and loved everyone. Even our annoying neighbour who used to steal our toys.”

“The celestials gave us powers in order to help regain Earth from the Dark elves, only if we keep doing what we do. Me giving presents, Valentino spreading love and so forth. We were heroes of the public, until one day,” Nicholas spoke, shaking his head at the memory. “Their leader grabs this red stone, the reality stone, and kills everyone. Everyone but me.”

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, tears welling up in your eyes.

“You see Valentine, that’s why we do things undercover. We die slowly, in a timely death. Not all at once with one person remaining to gather the rest of the Keepers and train them all by himself whilst trying to deal with the grief that his friends, his family, is now gone. The Cupid before you died, but at least us remaining four had each other,” He replied back.

“Nicholas, you know there will come a day where we’d have to go public, right?” You spoke to him, grabbing his hand. Nicholas looked away, letting out a scoff. “It could be today, tomorrow or centuries after we’re all gone. But there will come-“

You stopped, retracting your hand from Nicholas. You stood up, which got the attention of everyone in the room as you did it so abruptly. Nicholas looked up to you, his faced morphed with confusion as he looked at your concentrated face. “What is it Valentine?”

“Hate,” you spoke, a slight tremble in your voice. Hairs on your skin stood up as every thing around you slowed down. Voices, people and the whole atmosphere had slowed down.

Within a millisecond, you had ran towards a little girl sitting near the window. In that millisecond, your wings has sprouted from your back and your armour had replaced your clothing. Strands of your hair begun to braid itself but before it could finish you jumped, your eyes watching the bomb slowly crash through the window.

You grabbed the bomb that had previously wanted to land near the girl, and placed it underneath the armour that covered your stomach. The final strand had finally braided itself when the bomb went off from under you and your wings that created a barrier between you with the bomb and everyone else in the restaurant.

Everyone gasped as they saw you, a women who grew wings on her back. Many had grabbed their phones, taking photos. You got up, looking at Nicholas. He had looked shocked at both the bomb and your appearance. You looked at him, slowly backing away as you felt the presence of more hate, more bombs and more enemies surging towards you. “I guess today is that day.”

You then took off, your fists clenched beside you as you flew. Your wings pointed downwards as you reached speeds of 600 miles per hour. You were fast, but you could go faster if you wanted. You saw aircrafts, many small aircrafts, flying towards New York. You slowed down, grabbing an arrow from behind your back.

You had three different coloured arrows; pink, green and black. Pink was for love, green was to spread hate and envy and black were the ones you used to fight. They were essentially photon explosives. You aimed at one of the aircrafts whilst flying in great precision, causing the aircraft to explode before coming down.

This happened for over twenty minutes before you landed on top of the old Avengers building, looking at the more hundred and thousands of aircrafts that were coming out of nowhere. You couldn’t do it all by yourself. There were too many.

You looked down, seeing civilians scramble around and running in chaos. There were screams and police were trying to round up everyone and get them away from the centre of the city.

You breathed in heavily, trying to regain your breath. You let out a sigh, your face morphing into determination. You had to save these people. You had to prove to Nicholas that you can go public. Your were about to jump off the building and fly before a burrow formed two meters away from you. Specifically, it was Osterhase burrow that allowed him to transport places.

The burrow got big enough until three individuals popped out; Osterhase himself, Saint and Nicholas. You let out a scoff, shaking your head. “If you’re going to stop me from fighting guys, it isn’t going to work.”

“Oh no, we aren’t,” Osterhase spoke, drawing out his swords from behind his before giving you a grin. “We’re here to fight with you.”

You looked at Nicholas unsurely, not believing what you were hearing. He nodded at you, making you smile. “I still don’t agree, but it’s kind of too late anyway since you grew your wings in front of everyone which will probably be trending on twitter.”

You shook your head at him, giving him a grateful nod. You then looked back into the city, seeing weird creatures terrorising civilians. They were small, stodgy and had fangs for teeth. You had never seen anything like this. You then looked at your teammates you looked as equally as horrified as you. “Okay, here’s the plan. I’ll cover the sky. Any aircrafts have to go through me. Osterhase, you cover the ground with Saint. Osterhase if you see a pedestrian, use your burrow to get them the hell out of here. Nicholas, create the biggest damn snow storm you’ve ever seen. Hopefully that will throw them off course.”

“Got it blondey,” Saint Patrick spoke, getting out his golden encased staff, his green armour now in full show. Osterhase then formed a burrow, before he and Saint disappeared from sight. You then looked at Nicholas with a smirk.

“This is just like London all over again,” you spoke, as you started running towards the edge of the building. Nicholas also started running towards the edge of the building.

“You and I remember London very differently,” he yelled back as you both jumped. You hurled towards the ground, feeling the wind against your face. You felt the cool chill blast as Nicholas formed a snow tornado around him. You then sprung your wings out flying back up towards the numerous aircrafts.

One in particular being the Quinjet.

•

“There’s just too many,” you heard Osterhase speak as you flew back onto the ground. Osterhase, Nicholas and Saint stood in a circle as you guys regrouped after an hour of fighting. “It’s like you kill one, and then the whole family comes to visit for the funeral. It’s been an hour and we’ve yet to make progress.”

“Osterhase is right,” Saint spoke, his hand on his hips. There was dirt in his face and a cut on his lip. You pulled a loose strand of hair behind your ear as you looked around at all the ruins. “We need to find the one source that powers them. They must have a leader or something.”

“Yeah,” Osterhase replied back, his fur now matted with sweat. “We have to find the core of this thing or else we’re screwed.”

“Then let’s find the core-“ you spoke before you stopped speaking. You looked at a figure that stood still behind Osterhase. A familiar figure. But he had looked different to what you had remembered. “Is that-“

You couldn’t complete your sentence, because you couldn’t believe it. Nicholas looked at where you were staring, his face morphing into disbelief. “Jacko?”

You smiled, your eyes tearing up in happiness. Your feet begun making there way over to him. It started off as a slow jog before going into an all-blown-our sprint.

“Valentine wait!” You heard Nicholas yell from behind you, but you didn’t care. Jacko was here, and you were filled with happiness, hope and relief. You continued running towards him, but he had made no move towards you. You then saw him draw his arm back, a flame igniting in his hand.

You stopped, confused at what he was doing. He then looked at you with a dark look, resulting in a chill going down your spine. You let out a breath as Jacko hurled a ball toward you. You felt heat coming towards you before Nicholas had fused it out with his own ball of ice.

You looked at Jacko, gulping as you took a step towards him. He tilted his head to the side, watching you closely. “Hey, it’s me, it’s Valentine.”

“Valentine, get out of the fucking way now! It’s not fucking him!”

“It’s me, okay,” you ignored the pleads from the rest of The Keepers as you got closer to Jacko. You then whispered the next words, careful to make sure the other Keepers didn’t hear. If they knew what Jacko had revealed personal information to you, it would result to the permanent banishment of his title, resulting in his ultimate death. You didn’t want the others to know what Jacko had revealed to you about his past.

“Your name is Louis the Secound, son of King Louis the first. He wanted you to be the heir to the throne. But you fell in love, remember? And you bought a farm, and you raised two beautiful children,” you spoke, your bottom lip trembling as you shakingly reached out to his face. He leaned to the side a bit, trying to delve into the palm of your hand. “You were the first person to talk to me about the past, knowing the repercussions it may bring if others found out. But you still did it. Louis, please, come back to me. Come back from whatever spell a wicked being has casted upon you.”

He looked up at you, his eyes flickering with fire every now and then. You smiled at him, seeing that you may have sparked some recognition in the man’s head. But you were wrong. He quickly weilded a flame in his arm, going in for the strike before you felt the ground below you consume you. You then let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in as Osterhase created a burrow from Jacko to next to him.

“W-what do we do?” You asked the Keepers. You were heartbroken and gutted. Your plan had failed and it seemed like emotional memories wasn’t going to aid you in getting your friend back. “He’s not- he’s not himself. We can’t just leave him, we have to do something.”

“Let’s knock him out and bring him back home, simple,” Osterhase stated before he started sprinting towards Jacko. Saint looked at you and nodded, before following Osterhase with his golden staff.

You felt a hand grab onto your arm. You looked at the source, seeing that it was Nicholas. He gave you a sad smile. “Don’t worry, we’ll get him back. He’s strong, that fucking bastard.”

He then created a snow storm, flying across towards Jacko who was currently fighting both Saint and Osterhase with fire. You let out a little sigh, before you sprouted your wings from your back and flew towards the fight.

Instead of using your black arrows, you opted for the pink ones. Maybe it will bring some sense of love and remove the hate that has poisoned his veins. You flew into the burrow that Osterhase created and came out the other side near Jacko, shooting an arrow successively onto Jacko’s arm. Jacko let out a blood-curling growl, before shooting a flame towards you. Before it could reach you, Saint had re-directed the flame away from you with his staff.

“You’re going easy on him,” Saint grumbled at you before running back towards the fight. You rolled your eyes at him, flying back again near Jacko. Osterhase used his swords, cutting the flames that kept rolling in towards him. Nicholas cooled down the flames that came towards the rabbit with his freezing abilities.

“Hey guys, just like we practised?” You asked your fellow Keepers that were still sane. Saint smirked at you, before positioning his staff. You ran towards his staff, before he used it to fling you across to Jacko. As Jacko was distracted by you and the arrow you were pointing at him, Osterhase created a burrow for Saint who was sucked into the ground and spurted right out near Jacko. He used his staff and wacked Jacko in the head before using the end part of the staff to knock the air out of his lungs.

As Jacko was hunched over, Nicholas used his freezing abilities to freeze his upper and lower limbs into the floor. You landed on the floor before walking over to Jacko. You then stopped, watching as Jacko kept letting out chilling screams and growls, one that was animalistic.

However, before you could do anything, tanks rolled out from behind you. It was the U.S. Army. The tanks had their weapons pointed towards all of you. They came out from behind building, a mechanical road deafening the entire city.

There was 20 tanks pointing their weapons at all of you. You then heard helicopters, looking up to see four. Ropes fell down from them and men and women in army clothing slid down the rope before rolling on the floor and pointing their machine gun at all of you.

“Freeze. This is the U.S Army. Drop all of your weapons and remain still. If you do not cooperate, we will use force.” You heard someone demand from the speakers. Wind blew against your face as you watched more tanks, more helicopters and more soldiers coming into the City.

Another plane, one that was bigger, had landed in the middle of the street, it’s force taking you a step back. This time it was shield agents, donning a black suit and even bigger guns.

You looked back to where Jacko was, only to see he was gone. You looked at the remaining Keepers, there faces in shock as well. He was just there, how would he have left, you had thought. It was a mystery that you had yet to solve. How easy it was for Jacko to disappear without a trace.

A man came flying down with his mechanical wings, a gun pointed towards all of you. He was followed by a man with a metal arm, a women wearing red clothing and Spider-Man. The other Keepers had de-armoured themselves and you were about to as well until another figure emerged from the shadows.

It was him. It was The Hulk, or as he liked to go as now, ‘Professor Hulk’. It didn’t matter to you. He had killed you and taken away your life. You could’ve been 36 years old today, married with your partner with children. But no, you were dead and stuck at the ripe age of 25.

“Bruce, what are you doing here, we said emergency only,” The dark-skinned man spoke to the giant as his eyes were still on you four.

“I saw tanks and I thought it was an emergency,” he replied back, before facing the rest of the keepers who had there hands up and de-amoured. All of them, but you.

You felt your blood boiling, staring maliciously at the Hulk. You grabbed the black arrow and pointed it towards him.

“Woah, woah, woah,” The Keepers and The Avengers had spoke to you at the same time. You felt everyone’s gun click as they all faced you. Bucky watched studied you intently, wondering why there was so much hate filling your face at the presence of Bruce. He saw as your whole arm was trembling as well as your bottom lip. You were struggling and Bucky could tell.

“Valentine, put the arrow down,” Nicholas had hissed at you. You glared down at the Hulk who seemed taken back, wondering why he was singled out. “Put it down now before you do something stupid.”

Your breath was shaky as you continued to stare down Bruce. All the guns and tanks were pointed towards you. You could kill him right now and end your life in return. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t let the reason for your second death be because of the same person. So you let out a little huff, trembling as you put down the arrow, de-armouring.

At your surrendered, the Avengers and Army ran towards you, arresting the lot of you. Bucky had walked towards you as you finally made eye contact with him. He gave you a slight hesitated look, as if he was afraid of your presence. You let out a scoff before bring your wrists towards him, letting him cuff you.

Bucky was trying really hard to ignore the attraction and pull he felt towards you. It felt like he was on drugs the moment he had touched the soft surface of your skin. It took him a while before he was able to cuff you. He then guided you towards the quinjet, a tingling feeling surrounding his body as your dorsal area was in close proximity to his anterior area.

As he was guiding you, you made eye contact with the Hulk. You glared at him with all the hatred you could muster. The beast who had used his anger to murder you. To ruin your life. You could never hate anyone, you were the goddess of love. You were a Cupid, a Keeper.

But you hated him.

Taglist (comment below if you want to be tagged because I forgot to add some people)

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[notnctu]

(contains spoilers of when the snow falls)

i wanted to put this on my reblog of your fic but it would prolly spoil those who were curious abt it so i'm here instead. 😊

WHEN I SAID YOUR FIC SCARED ME, I FREAKING MEANT IT. i'm usually fond of angst but associating sad things with my favorite holiday was just s c a r y to me 💀 but i pushed through and when the snow falls became the first fic i read from the collab because i know i needed a shit ton of fluff after to help me recover from this one.

there was just something beautiful with the way you weaved the words together that made it an easy read (for me). it felt cinematic? like a movie playing in my head as i read and i love that style of writing. oh and the movie poster banner? definitely loved it.

but despite loving it so much, i also had to put my tab down every now and then because it made me sad 😭 plus the fic reminded me of the song "wish you were here" by neck deep. not sure if you heard it before, if not please give it a listen 😉 it just fit mc's grief over jaehyun's death. (and the song made me even more sad which is why i spent nearly an hour getting through this fic 😅)

another point of the fic that made me feel things was the climax. i know the "open your eyes" part was supposed to intimate moment but on god did i remember the 7th sense and heard jaehyun singing that line in my head. and it made me crack up but thankfully, it didn't ruin the moment for me.

because one minute i was laughing over it and in the next minute i was sobbing over mc hearing her parents wish that jaehyun watch over her because their angel didn't deserve to be alone on christmas 😭😭😭

three crying emojis wont suffice (but adding more looked eh) but i hope you have a clue over how this fic wrecked me. nonetheless, i fucking loved it and it was such a great read.

thank you for sharing it with the world! 🙆 merry christmas!! 🎄💞

Toffee omg 😭😭😭 I saw your reblog and even then I was happy to know that you left such sweet comments, but this PLEASEEEE!!! I feel so loved and appreciated, so thank you for reading my fic even tho it was difficult to get thru 😔😔

HAHAHAH THE OPEN YOUR EYES REFERENCE IDK WHY I INSTANTLY HEARD IT TOO WHEN YOU MENTIONED IT BAHAHAH :’) a little nct Easter egg it seems 😌

Thank you for leaving me this ask and hearing your thoughts made me feel so giddy and excited haha im glad to know that my fic was able to draw such an impactful feeling but also that it shall bring you a sense of optimism as well (ya I know it’s fucking sad lmao) I’ll also give the song a listen and maybe read over some of my personal fav parts to feel the melancholy 😭😭😭

merry christmas bubs 🎄💛 ur so sweet,, thank you again 🥺

[x-heesy]

🅷🅴🅻🅻 🆈 🅰🆂🆂! 🇮🇹

Happy f- holidays, merry m- Christmas

December 25th, we are on alert

Still the anxiety rising, hey

I smoke like it's legal, hey

Tell me if anyone is normal

In Area 51, bro, there's Santa Claus, wow

Put the record on and you're dead, you wait for this piece more than the risen Christ

In my house the crucifix is ​​a memory

Son of God, I prefer abortion

I think I go to Mc, I put on a happy face like Arthur Fleck

I make a massacre if, again this year Michael Bublé sings on Italia 1

I smoke but don't mind it

There is the nativity scene that gives me a round of applause

People go where their noses take them

Especially if it is Pippo Baudo's

I ride with the revocation, eh

Widow type noise, huh

Christmas is upon us

Jehovah's Witness

If it gets me that bad

Maybe, maybe it will be Christmas

Even though it all seems the same to me

Every time I think about it I get Charles Manson, eh

I think I'm late today too, eh

I'm not on time for dinner

You know what the fuck I care about gifts

Or to see some stupid aunt

I hate Christmas like the Grinch, mh

'This flow kills you, it gives lessons, mh

I enter a cinepanettone, mh

With a shotgun, mh

New Year's Eve with a bang

I'm crazy, now I'm going to explode

I'm under your girlfriend's tree, I give her my cock with a bow

Hey, Santa Claus

Except one day a year he's just an old drunk

This year I made money and I will ask baby Jesus

What does he want as a gift, like Briatore

Well done, clown sings

All red bro, like Santa Claus

You who are around me, because you want a follow

I'll give you the likes, I'm Santa Cloud

I see you sad, maybe it's because you're not on Salmo's album

And if Santa Claus exists, I'm not the rapper of the year

If it gets me that bad

Maybe, maybe it will be Christmas

Even though it all seems the same to me

Every time I think about it I get Charles Manson

Nice gun, what does it shoot? Balls?

Better not be a tree, because he has more balls

When I come in, everyone goes, "Wow."

Between 'if I call God, he answers me: "Woof"

I don't give a shit, but at least

I always destroy myself when I have dinner

I ate a pandoro with Morgan

There was only icing sugar

Christmas makes you fat as shit

And waste the food we need

I don't pray to an angel, I'm not in Bethlehem

I don't envy the tree because it's broke

I'm sorry if you were alarmed

But you are as out of place as someone who goes on the subway and shouts: "Allah" with a gun

What a bomb of a gift

Your girlfriend, boar

Always eating

He's not Santa Claus

But such a big oaf

If it gets me that bad

Maybe, maybe it will be Christmas

Even though it all seems the same to me

Every time I think about it I get Charles Manson

They already ask me what I do on New Year's Eve

I wonder what I'll do on New Year's Eve

You didn't see us in your club, you're blind

Dinner at Mc, Jesus Crispy McBacon, huh

And at dinner with the relatives, mh

I introduce myself and take my leave, mh

"When are you going to give us the little ones?" (Eh)

I answer: "When I defrost them" (Wow)

I have a recurring dream that attracts me

Convince the Vanzinas to film Christmas in Syria

So perhaps we can see what is happening in Palestine

And on opening day, I shoot myself in the mouth in the front row

Merry Christmas, assholes

With my brains on De Sica and Boldi

We are as empty as your drunken talk

Give each other gifts, not our business, it's better if you leave

Fuck off kindly

The difference is there and you can feel it

I am always fresh, evergreen

You are always cool, always green

I'm going to shout "Happy New Year" at an Easter lunch

I already know it's in Santa's sack

Another great album from a talent dad

Happy f- holidays, merry m- Christmas

December 25th, we are on alert

Happy f- holidays, merry m- Christmas

December 25th, we are on alert 🚨

@bigbonzo @boanerges20 @faccaldo

CHARLES MANSON (BUON NATALE2) (feat. Lazza) by Salmo, Dani Faiv, Nitro

[vangoghs-other-ear]

Holidays in France

Les Jours fériés

These are the days that schools, banks, and government offices are closed. Most other businesses are closed as well because France actually gives a shit about its workers.

Jour de l’an 🥳

New Years day - January 1st.

Bonnée Année- Happy New Years

La bise à minuit- Midnight kiss

The French drink champagne and kiss at midnight on December 31st. Maybe some fireworks?

Pâques 🐣

Easter

Le chocolat- chocolate

L’œuf de pâques- easter egg

Its the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox a random ass Sunday in spring.

For Christians its the day that Jesus came back to life after having died that preceding Friday.

French children hunt for eggs delivered by a magical flying bell, rather than a rabbit. Easter itself is always on a Sunday so the actual Jour férié is the day after (the Monday).

Fête du travail 👷‍♀️

Labor day - May 1st

La journée de huit heures- 8 hour work day

La manifestation- protest

It’s day to honor the progress made by the labor movement & celebrate the contribution of workers to society. It’s the same day as international worker’s day.

In France people can buy these little white flowers to wear from trade unions (who are not taxed for the sale of these flowers) to show their support for the labor movement. There are also protests, but they have the vibe of like a parade, like the police aren’t threatening to come at anyone with waterhoses and rubber bullets, you feel me?

Victoire des alliés👨🏽‍✈️

VE day - May 8th

The day the Germans surrendered ending WWII in Europe.

L’ascension ↗️

Ascention - 40 days after Easter

For Christian this is the day that Jesus just kinda floated up to heaven. For everyone else you get a free day off.

Pentecôte 🔥

pentecost - Seventh Sunday after Easter

For Christians this is the day the holy spirit was given to the apostles, appearing as a flame above their heads. Made them capable of speaking every language fluently for a hot second, which sounds like a cool super power to have.

Non Christians don’t really do anything to celebrate

Fête Nationale 🇫🇷

Bastille day - July 14th

Un défilé militaire- military parade

Les feux d'artifices- fire works

Anniversary of the beginning of the French Revolution. Basically the King fired his pro common man cabinet member and replaced him with a royalist which pissed the people off enough that a bunch of them busted into this prison/military fortress in the middle of Paris and fucking took it over.

There’s a military parade down the Champs-Élysées and fireworks.

Assomption 👵🏾

Assomption-August 15th

The catholic holiday for when Mary mother of Jesus just kinda floated away to heaven.

La Toussaint 😇😇

All saint’s day-November 1st

“What if instead of celebrating each saint on their own day we did them all in one? ”- a friggen genius.

Mostly only catholics celebrate, for everyone else it’s just a day off.

Armistice ☮️

Armistice - November 11

Jour de souvenir- rememberance day

Le coquelicot- poppy

Fleurir les tombes des soldats- to lay flowers on the graves of soldiers

The anniversary of the end of WWI.

Traditionally there are 2 minutes of silence beginning at 11:00 the exact time of the armistice. In 2012 the day was officially declared to be a day of remembrance for all French soldiers and veterans, not just those who fought in WWI. Poppies are worn to commerate the dead, and people lay chrysanthemums on the graves of soldiers.

Noël 🎄

Christmas - December 25

Le sapin de Noël- Christmas tree

Père Noël- Santa Claus

Le réveillon/veille de Noël- christmas eve

Joyeux Noël- merry Christmas

Presents are exchanged and/or delivered by Santa. People spend time with their families and have a big meal together. Traditionally the main dish is a turkey. For Christians, they may attend a church service or mass celebrating the birth of Jesus.

[writtenbybex]

  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ UNHhhh for the Holidays✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Here are some holiday themed sentence starters from the web series UNHhhh. Specifically, the holiday themed episodes. Please note that some may be NSFW or may not make sense out of context.  Feel free to change prounouns/names/words accordingly.

“ I’m the witch that won’t turn you into a frog because amphibians are people too. “ 

“ You’re gonna die up there. “

“ Everyone else is Power Rangers and I’m a box. “

“ Do you like horror films? “

“ I’m a slutty crossing guard “ 

“ Suck my dark Dracula dick. “

“ Here comes the devil, Marty “ 

“ No, a medical professional would know to put clothes on in this weather. “ 

“ Happy Halloweiner “ 

“  I wanna be cute, I have to be sexy “ 

“ Halloween comes and we all just wish Bette Midler would come to sing a song to us with Kathy Najimy and Sarah Jessica Parker. “

“ I don’t care who you are: young, gay, old... Hocus Pocus is the tea. “ 

“ I would but I would also probably be the killer. “ 

“ Fireworks out of my pussy Monday through Wednesday. “

“ Are you also against opening your presents and it’s not on Christmas? “

“ People would dress as a hurricane? “

“ I don’t know about tiny reindeer, but I am a tiny woman.” 

“ I’m the lump of coal who turned out to be a wonderful turd. ”

“ My problem with Christmas is, I hate red and I hate green. ” 

“ I hate wrapping. ”

“ How come you never get me anything? ”

“ You never want anything. ” 

“ That’s not true, I want money. ” 

“ I wanted to be one of the wise men but they made me be the star. ” 

“ My New Year's resolution is to be warmer to people. ” 

“ I’m a grateful cornucopia filled with lunch meat. ” 

“ I’m grateful for two things: Violence and haircare. ” 

“ Thanksgiving? More like THANKSLIVING!! ” 

“ Something I’m thankful for is that you continue to entertain friendship with me when all I do is interrupt you. ” 

“ I like turkey with a lot of salt. ” 

“ Happy holidays, merry Christmas time. ” 

“ Why don’t we have a Christmas album? ” 

“ Thank god for Easter. ” 

“ I actually don’t know what they celebrate. ” 

 “ I have zero Christianity in my heart but I fucking love Christmas. ” 

“ Some of my favorite people celebrate Hanukkah . ” 

“ I like Harry Potter Christmas better than Earth Christmas. ” 

“ Can I have a small kiss for the New Year? ”