#My FAV fucked up and complicated mother

[sammydem0n64]

OKAY ALSOOOOOO failure, ghost, and secret for Gleo Jksjkdjs

Born to be a badass bitch, force to wipe or smth idk FGHJKL

Failure:

This is such a FOUL question because ultimately you know what I'm going to say; the way she raised Guo and treats others around her.

On one hand, she basically raised her son to be a weapon for the mafia, partially knowing what she was doing. She loves Guo. She loves her babyboy so much. But that idea that someone loves her back this uncondtionally, that they'll step in and do anything for her, starting with mauling her shitty ex? It got to her. She was the middle child, largely emotionally neglected in favor of her prodigy siblings (which was entirely purposeful on her parents' part, they wanted to make her as much as a weapon as Donna and Melphis are), so having someone she didn't hold resentment towards and who gave her all the affection and attention she had always wanted... well, she jumped at the opportunity. It just so happened that she used this to make him fight her battles, and it isn't until the very end that Guo realizes that he was a child. He shouldn't have been the one to pick up the bat and smack Zeo around like a baseball. He shouldn't have that burden put on him and he shouldn't have been raised to believe he needed to protect Gleo at every waking moment, because she can fend for herself. He should've been the one being protected, not her.

And also just in general she. Pushes people away with her behavior. Her lax nature and refusal to tell Carot things leads to their relationship breaking, because. Erm. Flirting with people IN YOUR BOYFRIEND'S RESTURANT- even if it's a ploy to get them in a private location to kill them- is not a good thing! He'd be fine if you told him first but no, now he's reliving the cheating trauma!!! And there's also how she treats every interaction with her siblings like a joke which includes insulting Melphis constantly. I bet she insults Donna too for the bit! She's just playing around but has never stopped to consider that she's hurting her family, and that maybe she reveals in treating them like ass because deep down she still holds a small semblance of resentment towards them for stealing attention away from her. It's just so, so messy

She never meant to harm her family and loved ones directly but... her she is!

Ghost:

I DO think her relationship with Zeo haunts her in a way. She married a man who turned out to be very shitty towards her, trying to be controlling and basically only treating her like an object for his pleasure so he'd feel good about himself. And that man went on to harass both her and their son for years until he finally got the memo to stop showing up on their lawn.

That is obviously very traumatizing! Especially since her family never did anything to stop it! Under the guise that Firo would be angry if they got the police involved with their family Zeo got to roam free. And now she's being harassed constantly, her son is being harassed and traumatized by his father, and OH SHIT GUO JUST BONKED THAT MAN!! HE'S BRUTALIZING HIM OH MY GOD!! ...Looks like the police don't have to get involved after all!

She could care less about him nowadays, but learning that he's hot on her and Guo's tails out of spite is... not pleasing. Oh how she needs to deal with this pest who briefly ruined her life. Or better yet, how Guo needs to play exterminator!

Secret:

Aside from the criminal career...

that she stopped her family from intervening with the Zeo situation once Guo started beating him up. She repeated the rhetoric of not wanting to get Firo on their asses, and eventually claimed that now everything was fine. She let Guo continue to harm Zeo for two more years, let him defend her and stick it to their shared nusance. If Zeo didn't finally stop showing up who knows how long it would've gone on for. Who knows how many more times she'd announce to her son that his dad is back on the lawn and hand him the bat to deal with the issue.

She doesn't know one person knows, and they're the reason Zeo finally stopped coming to their home. Oh well!

[snikt111]

hi hi hi hi I found out about Hal Jordan TODAY and am going so autistic over him it’s insane can you please give me a rundown on what his deal is I think you’re the Tumblr Green Lantern guy

omg hi, insane compliment btw, tysm! i'm glad to give you a rundown!! also definitely check out @katmaatui for more hal info, red is SUPER knowledgable abt him. @rillette, @catboyollie, @halcarols, @starsapphire and @yellowcorps (along with so many others that i cant think to tag off the top of my head) have some great hal takes too! (edited the post just to tag more ppl)

apologies if this is a bit rushed/messy, i'm doing this while i smelt stone in minecraft LMAO

that being said... i think this will be a long one, so more below the cut :3

(cw for light mentions of pedophilia, abuse, canon typical violence)

okay, so hal jordan is the first human green lantern of the GREEN LANTERN CORPS. it's important to note that there was technically a human green lantern before him (alan scott, originally from earth two/the justice society, but integrated into main DC canon after crisis), but his power comes from a different source- which is a whole different ballpark that would take ages to explain, lol, so i'll move on from that.

hal was originally introduced in a showcase issue in 1959, but ended up getting a solo run in the mid 60s because of his showcase issues doing well. he's been a test pilot, middle brother, compassionate, rule follower (although being surprisingly liberal for the time) with an interesting relationship with star sapphire carol ferris since those first appearances. for the first 20 odd years of his appearances we had no information on his parents, but we got a lot from other family members, such as uncle titus, cousin hal jr (aka airwave), younger brother jim jordan and older brother jack jordan. through the 60s and 70s those members of his family were developed along with him; with the audience learning that jim's wife sue thought jim was green lantern, rather than hal, and hal himself training his cousin, hal jr.

the most known version of how hal got the ring in the first place is probably based off of geoff john's rewrite in the mid 00s, reiterating the original story of abin sur crashing onto earth and dying, leaving hal with his ring to be trained by sinestro and the rest of the glc, while also changing miniscule details that had been developed in emerald dawn 1 & 2 (which was released in the 90s, more on that later). the main premise of abin sur's crash has stayed the same, but the story around hal's current life, job, family and stability keep changing. for instance, the original comic with abin sur in showcase only showed hal getting the ring, the guardians choosing him. the first rewrite i can think of was emerald dawn volume 1, published in 1989 and continued in emerald dawn v2 (1991). here we get the classic hal watches his father die in a plane crash with carol ferris beside him as a pre adolescent, and some of the biggest implications of the mistreatment from his father. we also get introduced to hal, despite his stick to the rules, straight edge attitude, making some serious mistakes and putting people in danger and even death- with the implication of alcohol abuse. the audience HAS known hal used to be in the air force since sometime in the late 60s or early 70s (sorry, i don't remember the exact issue!), but emerald dawn shows us that hal's moved on from the air force and into test piloting, and that his mother keeps having to bail him out for making mistakes. emerald dawn vol 1 shows the abin sur moment, followed by fights that cost hal's friends life, and is followed up by sinestro training hal in emerald dawn vol 2, where we get to see the iconic scenes of hal finding out about sinestro and his... dictatorship.

along with that; how the guardians and rings are treated and hal and the glc's perception of them is vastly changed over time. in the early days of gl in the 60s, the guardians were really never to be seen. hal was repeatedly summoned to them and then had his memory almost fully wiped- only leaving a vague notion of his orders. the guardian's called hal to them at seemingly the worst times, ending up with him almost getting injured, getting in trouble at work, and even ending up jobless and homeless. the chaos of being a green lantern has been around the WHOLE time, but originally, the green lanterns didnt really... fight it. the guardian's were their masters (and even father figures, to hal) and not to be questioned. the rings in the 60s were also much more powerful, despite the yellow weakness (the yellow weakness is the notion that from about the 60s to the mid 90s the green lantern rings were completely unable to be used against anything yellow). time travel, phasing, teleporting, etc were all very viable and common things- as well as forceful shapeshifting, invisibility, mind control, mind reading, etc etc. these days, writers have dampened these powers down to mostly shooting light and constructs.

okay, it's parallax time. the emerald twilight arc from the mid 90s wasn't an arc that was as thoroughly planned out over a long period of time as it probably should have been. a lot of fans at the time (and even now) hated what happened there, and claimed it ruined hal's character entirely. i can understand why! but, at it's core, the parallax arc is a story about a broken man pushed to the limit, fully grieving his home and family (originally, he lost his brother jim in the destruction of coast city, along with a lot of other family members) and being goddamn fed up with how his "masters" treated him and the rest of the corps. the so called "perfect lantern" (no, he wasn't that much of a rebel, despite what johns wants you to think) snapped and essentially tried to gain as much power as he could to bring back coast city. when the guardians stripped him of his powers so he couldn't, hal became enraged and took down every lantern in his path, just to get to the guardians and that power. long story short, he kills the guardians and absorbs all the energy from the central power battery on oa, becoming parallax- essentially a god. this marks the start of zero hour, an event made by dc to restructure and reset; giving the comics a new generation of heroes. hal destroys the world and remakes it, but is ultimately taken down by kyle rayner, the new green lantern, with the help of the jla, jsa and associates. there are a few more run ins with parallax after this, before kyle convinces parallax/hal that he can make up for all of this by reigniting the sun after it went out- aka killing himself. hal does it, is stuck in limbo for awhile and then becomes the spectre to continue to make up for the horrible things he did as parallax. the spectre is the spirit of god's wrath and vengeance, a weapon used to drag sinners to their very own, self made hells, and scare the shit out of people. the spectre, from it's very first appearance, is a ghost like spirit that takes on a host, and is primarily described using christian terms and is used in a very... christian ideology. HOWEVER, the spectre 2001 confirms that hal is jewish (jewish mom, catholic dad) and that belief system, plus his personality as a whole, literally makes him change the spirit of vengeance into the spirit of redemption, for at least as long as they are bonded. the whole parallax to spectre arc is about grief, pain, cycles of abuse and terror, redemption and guilt. it is NOT about a fear bug that possess hal. (im so serious though, the spectre 2001 is one of the best comics ive ever read. amazing. changed my world view) but... geoff johns changed all of it, decanonized the spectre, and ruined the legacy of parallax and hal's growth as a person by releasing green lantern: rebirth in 2004/2005. this retcons hal's breakdown and journey through grief into him BEING POSSESSED BY AN ENTITY CONTROLLED BY SINESTRO THAT FULLY CHANGES PREVIOUS GREEN LANTERN CANON AND IMPLICATIONS. also, fucks up the importance of kyle becoming ion, but whatever. geoff johns writes hal (and even more so, carol) so very wrong, and change their stories so vastly in ways that go against the stories very meanings.

SIGH.

now... time to get started on some rougher stuff. hal jordan misconceptions. i'm saving that arc for last.

- hal jordan wasn't much of a rule breaker or rebel until the 70s/80s, where he BEGAN (very slowly, mind you) to be radicalized by oliver queen during denny o'neil's green lantern/green arrow. hal was painted as more of a conservative during this period (which, admittedly, kind of goes against previous canon... he's always been relatively central to liberal, not to any extremes like ollie though, lol) but gets more and more understanding of how power structures work and how lower classes are mistreated during this time- which ends up opening his eyes a bit to how shitty the guardians are. (this is helped by the guardians literally just. leaving. the green lanterns and kind of disbanding them so they can go fuck the zamarons, lmao). geoff johns tried to change this narrative into making hal a very... maverick-from-top-gun type of character, who punched his way out of the military (when, in reality, the original story during emerald knights in the late 90s was that hal had been framed for stealing a jet and was dishonorably discharged, which he took the punishment for because he knew someone had to) and hits on women constantly and gets ladies and allat (which, funnily enough hal was awful at getting carol to like him for a long time, since carol fell for green lantern rather than hal. not to mention the awkwardness of carol's proposals or hal's many, many failed relationships). hal has always been insecure and lowkey boyfailure, he is NOT a top gun maverick tom cruise sorta guy! fuck you jeremy adams!

- hes not that much of an idiot asshole. hal can be a real dick, he's had that going for him since the beginning, but he isn't what you read in batfam fics. he's not stupid and shouldn't be the laughingstock of the justice league. i assume this idea started from the obsession with batfam and the fact that the jla has quite the history of ignoring hal and his issues (as well as. all of their issues. theyre not so great at work life balance), but it's gone too far. hal isn't making fun of the robins and pissing bruce off bc of that. hal isnt fooling around on the job 24/7 (he takes being a gl and pilot VERY seriously, although he does enjoy some danger and high stakes) or slacking off to get girls. again. not top gun maverick.

- hal has not been a creep since the beginnings. hal was not weird with carol in the 60s. things were weird between them, yeah, but that's based off circumstance and the craziness of star sapphire and green lantern. he was NOT being horribly sleazy! i hate that i even need to say this, but i see this take too much not to

- going off of what was said above, lets discuss the arisia arc. if you want to be a real hal fan, this is unfortunately something you need to know about. in action comics, after crisis and the guardians left to go fuck the zamarons, most of the green lanterns fell apart and seperated. a small group went to earth- led by hal and consisting of hal, john stewart, katma tui, kilowog, salaakk, ch'p and arisia rrab. (also sometimes guy gardner, but that's complicated) previously to this arc, hal treated 14 year old arisia like a beloved little sister, welcoming her and leading her into the corps just like everyone else. things started to change once the timeline gets closer and closer to crisis, where arisia starts showing that she has a crush on hal (who is roughly 30s at this point). any advances made by arisia are shut down by hal at the beginning, because she's a child. now, it's unfortunately a common thing to just call hal a "pedophile" because of what happens in this arc- but it really isn't that simple. still weird and icky, but definitely not to the degree of which some fans like to act like it is- esp to attack hal fans for, which is... an odd choice regarding how many fucked up things every character (esp male characters) did back in the day. arisia ends up using her power ring to artifically age herself up, making her body AND MIND into that of a young adult (the comic makes this very clear). once this happens... hal stops rejecting her. they get together, they kiss. the only person in the group of green latnerns who actually has an issue with it is john (salaakk is meh about it, but he just doesn't like human-esque romance no matter what), and katma even directly encourages their relationship. kilowog ends up crushing on arisia as well, and guy gardner hits on her repeatedly throughout the whole period. eventually, hal and arisia break up, but this legacy (thank so much englehart, for wrtiting this. /sarc) is a big controversy among the comics crowd. "is hal jordan a predator?" personally, and i know a lot of friends/mutuals/other gl fans choose to erase the arisia arc entirely (versus how canon ended up retconning it to be 14 earth years is equal to that of an adult and she didn't really get super ages up, or whatever) and go with the familial relationship between hal and her. that's my preferred version! i know red (@katmaatui) has explored that version as well as an alternate version where the arisia arc did happen, and how it affects arisia in particular, which is really depressing but super interesting. anyway, it's complicated and weird and nuanced, but that whole occurence doesn't mean hal's a bad character or person (cause yk. retcons) and it's certainly not bad to like his character. (definitely ignore any guy gardner fans who try to bitch about this arc. cough cough. guy was ALSO into her and hit on her repeatedly. smfh) most people who bring this up to demonize fans didn't even read the arc, and don't know the nuance or the other weird shit that happens in it. (hal is not a horse, sigh)

OVERALL NOTES!

hal jordan is a super complicated character with an extensive history spanning from the 60s to his worse written appearances in modern age. it's okay to like any version of the character, but it is important to note the changes that have been made, the storylines butchered and lost, and more. he has quite the legacy, and he's particularly interesting as from a moral standpoint. hal's a real sweetie though, when it gets down to it! he's neurodivergent coded (imo at least.. his dad very much gets onto him for being disrtracted, hes kinda shit at social interaction (and then amazing at it the other half of the time) etc etc. "spacecase") and his dad is an abusive asshole, who he desperately doesnt want to be like but thinks he NEEDS to be like!

[janetbrown711]

How do you torment your favs (aka how have you traumatized some of your favourite characters)?

Well, if we're talking broadly here I mostly give them mommy issues, but lets go character by character here for the nitty gritty/true pattern examination

TW for mentions of miscarriages, abusive parents, and just a lot of trauma

Apple White-- Mommy issues, internalized homophobia that she does mostly get over but it doesn't help when a lot of the world is homophobic to her, body image issues, and a possible eating disorder

Darling Charming-- mommy issues, daddy issues, experiences a lot of homophobia and misogyny

Louie Duck-- Just. Just the worst mommy issues. Wants Della to love him so bad but feels like it's literally impossible because of their differences and his "glaring" flaws and selfishness

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot (Long Live the Queen) (idk how to write normal universe whoopsies)-- Abusive grandmother who actively tries to (and nearly accomplishes) murdering their parents making their parents have to abandon them for a year, Yakko has parentification trauma from that, Wakko gets literally starved and locked in a tower on multiple occassions, and Dot feels like it's all her fault whenever Wakko gets hurt because she's supposed to be the perfect princess. It gets fixed but it do be a lot

Lena Warner (my oc from Long Live the Queen)-- Abusive mother who literally attempted to kill her. Wants very badly to be a proper mother to her children and keep them safe, but her mother has far too much control and power over her for that to be truly possible. Had a runaway marriage in her late teens in order to avoid being married off to some old guy. Her mother's murder attempt caused a miscarriage and robbed her of a year with her children while she had to physically recover from her injuries. Ended up killing her in the end though, so that's good.

MK (dadsy of two)-- dead parents that were incredibly abusive (especially his "mother"), a burning desire for closeness to his guardian that he feels he can't access out of fear of attachment + Pigsy's own distant behavior at unpredictable moments. Desperately wants Pigsy to be his dad and nothing hurts more than when Pigsy actively denies it. Craves affection and praise more than anything in the whole wide world but doesn't know how to accept it/how to react when it happens.

Mei (dadsy of two)-- dead parents who gave her severe perfectionism but died before they could ever apologize/acknowledge/realize any damage done. Blames herself for starting the fire because she knocked over an ancestral artifact (that fire was actually fixed, the fire that killed them is unrelated but she'll never believe that). Wants to be the perfect daughter for Pigsy while also not feeling like she's actually his daughter because of the distance + complicated grief related feelings.

Pigsy (dadsy of two)-- tbh what haven't I done to him? Gave him guilt over the death of Sandy's ex fiancee due to "causing" Sandy's trauma that lead to the incident, gave him mommy and even worse daddy issues, deals with fantasy racism on such a regular basis he believes being distant with MK and Mei (ala saying he isn't their father/he's only their legal guardian) is the only way to really protect them from it (and even that backfires on more than one occasion). Internalized fatphobia. PTSD. Smoker. Severe lack of self esteem. Couldn't give less of a shit about himself and his own health (ESPECIALLY mental) while worrying endlessly about everyone else. Just. just so much trauma for one man. what the fuck.

Tang (all fanfics)-- Abusive, severely homophobic parents who cut him off when he was 19 due to finding out about his homosexuality. Could barely afford food for a year until he met Pigsy and basically relied on his charity in order to not starve to death/suffer the effects of severe malnutrition and still continue his education. Loves Pigsy endlessly and hates watching him torture himself over the littlest things (knows he does the same and feels so helpless every time it happens). Wants to be a dad to MK (and Mei) desperately but worries he's nothing compared to Pigsy. Has constantly had his passions belittled and mocked to the point it's genuinely surprising to him that MK actually likes his stories and the way he does things.

Sandy (all fanfics)-- PTSD, guilt over having missed 20+ years of his best friend's life. In Dadsy of Two he killed his fiancee after a nightmare about the war he and Pigsy had fought. Wanted to be a parent but after that accident, he can't trust himself with another human life like that. Has a hard time trying not to be "the therapist friend" and poking where he shouldn't when it comes to his friend's emotional issues (especially Pigsy's). Had just the worst toxic romance with Pigsy ever that was just the hottest of messes before it all fell apart but they tried to be friends (until his fiance's death) (the time away was very much needed for them both to heal and grow so they could actually be good friends again but it still hurts it took that long).

Pigsy (Li Na AU)-- most of the above but even more trauma around fatherhood, only made worse by the fact he had five miscarriages in the past (only three Tang knows about). Buries that pain instead of talking about it and believes that because Li Na is alive and well the pain is gone (it's not. it lives within him in every waking moment and is why he's so fucking terrified at the thought of losing her or MK).

....So yeah! Just--.... Just so much man, damn wtf someone needs to take them away from me I keep hurting them, wtf---

[laufire]

This is redhoodinternaldialectical from the "main" blog, returning fire with the character ask game :3

For Jason: 23. Fav picture of this character 24. What character from another fandom reminds you of them? 26. Freebie question! What do you think his complicated opinions about Heathclif would be? (Saw ur tags about that hehehe)

I might come back with other characters, but just Jason for now cause it's WAY passed my bedtime

Fav picture of this character

there are so many options... (see: my header of his hamlet moment). but I'm going to go with this one, from batman annual #25.

I fucking love a character climbing out of his own grave. and that lightning bolt is so frankenstein of him <3

What character from another fandom reminds you of them?

my mind is wired to draw parallels and comparisons, and I happen to be rewatching a tv show (the 100, one of those "it could be so good if it was good" things xD) where sometimes it seems that all my favourite characters have some jason-coded moments and traits lol.

BUT. among all of them, we definitely need to talk about john murphy!!! he's my #1 in that show (with some strong competition), because I love his journey. he really started being... well, what dc regularly tries to convince us robin!jason was: a mean, angry teen, product of his society, who lashed out at people once he could, because he had been wronged himself. this show gave him far more grace about it (even during his messy revenge quest lol), and in season 2 they landed on a really potent love story with him and another character, emori (another outcast in her own society, this time because she was born with a mutation, that survived by stealing from others) that ended up catapulting him to Romantic Hero status in a way s1!murphy couldn't have dreamed of lmao. it was great.

even his backstory (which he's given in the first episode of s2) is. very jason añdslkfjasf. two important things about this gifset is a) the girl here, raven (another favourite), has a similar backstory (alcoholic mother who failed to take care of her, raven would've starved if not for the kindness of her neightbour & childhood sweetheart). she's taunting murphy because a few episodes before murphy shot her in the spine (he didn't intend to hurt her but it wasn't exactly an accident. part of his messy revenge quest against a -barely- adult who failed him lol). she hates him, and yet she clearly can't help but empathise </3. a few episodes later she tries to get him killed to save her ex <3. in a few seasons they'll become best friends <3. as far as I'm concerned she's memori's third <333

a few other things in favour of "jason-coded murphy" are this post, or the fact that at one point murphy had to use sex to survive in a way I personally headcanon jason doing (I've actually drawn some comparisons between that plot and nightwing/tarantula but only stylistic ones; plot-wise it's a very different situation where he displays an attitude closer to what I imagine jason doing).

What do you think his complicated opinions about Heathclif would be?

alñsdkfjasdf I can't believe I'm going to talk more about other characters than about jason but here we are lol.

anyway first of all, unlike many people in this fandom, jason is a smart cookie capable of differentiating fact from fiction, who could recognise heathcliff did some really fucked shit against undeserving people and still appreciate the hell out of him as the fascinating character he is. tyvm. that said, he's also someone who gets very personal about literature xD

one thing about heathcliff is that he does what some people argue jason is doing when he "targets" tim or mia (or damian, but that's bftc and fandom has more or less accepted that it's a mess, and also damian isn't white :))). aka, he's (a grown man!!) viciously, hatefully going after innocent children for the sins of their fathers!! for shame. sorry but that's not even true in bftc or hush (the situations there were very messy and the writers desperately needed medical consultants to make them make any sense, get off his dick xD), but definitely not true for titans tower or seeing red. jason was NOT trying to kill these teens (a few years younger than him at most), he's never wanted them death, and he's never even aimed to caused grievious, irreparable damage. again, get off his dick :P

but it's interesting to me thinking about jason reading the book for the very first time during the lost days era, in particular. he would empathise with heathcliff's desire for revenge, but I don't think he'd ~relate as strongly to him as some people think. yes, there is mistreatment in their youths and the revenge plot (after heathcliff does whateve he does in his own lost days period lol); there's even possible racial ambiguity in common, if we take into account the shiva thing. and he'd half-mindedly draw some links between bruce and earnshaw senior and, if he's feeling ungenerous lol, between dick and hindley, but nothing particularly strong, imo.

but I can see even this faint link being enough to have him pondering his own lines, what he's willing to do once he returns and what he isn't. and it's a fact that jason crossed some of his own purported lines, because he was too in his head about bruce or because they were convenient at the moment or because of all other reasons. and I picture him rereading the book years down the road, and grappling with that fact. wondering if heathcliff had drawn his own lines beforehand or gone all in from the beginning, wondering if he had any regrets.

otherwise, he would appreciate heathcliff as the force he is in the narrative, while being utterly disgusted by some of his actions. at the same time he'd be really wary of the unreliable narration (I imagine him thinking nelly gives all the lintons too much grace, even if he obviously would think heathcliff's actions towards isabella and cathy are undefensible). I also believe he's ready to fist-fight anyone that supported the "monstrous" readings of heathcliff as something inhuman, as some supernatural force of nature. heathcliff, to him, is utterly human.

ALSO. jason is definitely that bitch who reads the FUCKING UNHINGED SHIT (x, x, x, x, x) catherine and heathcliff say about each other and be like. why can't that be me 😭. he's fucking unwell.

(and feel free to ask me about any other character you want! or any extra questions about jason lol)

[floralcrematorium]

thoughts about the asian characters(easia, seasia, south asia, west asia)!! do you have future plans to draw any of them?

YES!!!

literally the only thing stopping me is that i cannot draw men. i’ve been pushing myself recently with the fruk sketch and i actually had started a little drawing for Piri from the ask game a while ago, but I haven’t finished him yet. gave him a really cunty pose but can’t figure out what clothing i want to stick him in 🤔

i’ve got quite a few unfinished sketches lying around, notably of miss vietnam, but i’ll release this little concept of miss taiwan from my band au, lest i fear she will never see the light of day:

i don’t think i’m gonna stick with this outfit for band au, i was just kinda fucking around and finding out. i really just wanted an excuse to draw some flowy fabric with all of her movement but didn’t want to cover up her whole body with a dress. i was listening to “hot to go” while drawing this and you can tell

i’ve been putting off drawing china for a hot minute. he’s been a favorite of mine for a long time, but i’m unsure of what i want to do with him. i don’t have any ships for him and when i do draw him, i want to make sure he turns out fantastic. i feel like i can’t get my other two favorites, france and norway, right and am so scared of having yet another fav that i just can’t draw the way i envision them

i’ve had the idea of doing a series of illustrations with piri and food for a hot minute now. more so comics than standalone illustrations, but i digress. i’ve been wanting to learn more filipino recipes because until some of my family members were interested in learning more about their culture/heritage when i was a teenager, the only pinoy dish my mother could make was pancit. we’d have vietnamese cha gio every now and again, but a lot of my experiences with filipino food are either things i barley remember from church events or family friends’ houses when i was a kid or in that period of exploration when we’d go out to eat at filipino restaurants. not going to get into why i’m not well connected with my heritage on main (it’s complicated and i also chronically gaslight myself into thinking that i’m not allowed to connect with my heritage for a variety of reasons), but i’d like to learn more, and i think the recipe comics would be a good way to do so. i don’t know if or when i’ll get it it, though :( a lot of my drawing comes from a spur of the moment “i have to get this out of my head NOW” and the projects i actually have lined up and planned get pushed further and further back (i am. eyeing the hetagirls art nouveau portraits nervously bc i’m halfway done but haven’t touched that project since april)

food is also just hard as hell to draw, i’ve never been good at it. i did a little triptych in college with filipino food in gouache and it was a disaster

all this said, you Will see an art nouveau portrait of miss taiwan soon. soonish. she’s meant to be after czechia, but the whole art nouveau portraits thing came to a stop because i can’t figure miss czechia out, so i may just skip straight to taiwan. also been wanting to do that “draw SEAtalia in your style” template for a hot minute. hell, i never did the DTIYS template i made for china (or france) because i’m just really bad at starting the things i want to do 😭 i make things feel too precious in my head and then get worked up when they don’t turn out right

anyway, TLDR i am dying to draw more piri in the future. ideally i’d like to draw everyone at least once, but piri has my attention. and miss vietnam — i hold a soft spot for her too

thanks for the ask!

[gunnhldrs]

⚜ — a study in knightgirlisms; the jean gender (jeander) analysis.

                                nobody asked but i am answering anyway.

this is entirely a self indulgent word vomit, but for some context: i have been diseased about jean for a really really long time. of course throughout the years my interest in genshin has had its ups and downs, so in starting gnostic hymns and revisiting my oldest and dearest fav, a lot of old headcanons and thoughts are resurfacing.

since i now have an outlet to voice them: welcome to my completely disorganized ramble about jean gunnhildr being just a girl.

For what is literally the oldest clan in Mondstadt, the actual information we have on the Gunnhildr clan itself doesn't detail any more than two (2) of its leaders since earning its name.

The first, its namesake, Gunnhildr. The second? Jean.

We actually never have it specified why or how Jean has been chosen as its successor, just that her mother has raised her to be. Reasonably, one would assume that her mother had been its leader based on such, but then even that isn't outright stated. All you get to know about Frederica Gunnhildr is that she's a knight of the clan. Awesome. We literally don't even know what being leader of the Gunnhildr clan means in present times.

And you can't exactly correlate the status of successor to the (seemingly entirely separate) title of Dandelion/Lion Fang Knight that was given to Jean at age fifteen, as it has literally nothing to do with the Gunnhildrs at all and was also given to her after she would have been declared the clan's successor.

I would like to believe that the Gunnhildr clan's leaders have been predominantly female, but then again I couldn't really tell you. They have existed for three thousand years so only having two names doesn't prove much of anything.

The biggest takeaway, at least, is that Jean's entire life has been focused upon becoming a knight. From day one she has known that protecting Mondstadt would be her purpose, and has carried the weight of countless responsibilities and expectations. Regardless of the gender of those who she was surrounded by, Jean never really had a chance to care for much other than her future. Trivial things that would be considered traditionally feminine just didn't matter as much.

To top it off, we know Jean to have been childhood friends with Diluc (as well as Kaeya by association though I actually cannot recall if that relationship is every explicitly mentioned in canon) which I personally think would only aid in her disinterest in femininity. Who needs to care about dresses and makeup when you can chase your friend around with a stick or whatever.

So now you're thinking "Lina what the fuck does this have to do with right now" and that's a really fair question so here's the part of the essay that is actually the whole point of why we are here.

I think, to put it plainly, Jean's relationship with gender (specifically femininity) is complicated. It plays a very small role in the world as she views it. However I believe that the part of Jean that does perceive it wishes to be more in touch with it.

It's an absent kind of thing-- she didn't have the time for it as a child and she certainly doesn't have the time for it now-- but I believe it to be there in a couple of things. The most specific being her affinity for romance.

This is the part of the post where I look you in the face and tell you that Hoyoverse sucks and is wrong and I am about to entirely undermine a single sentence of their stupid fucking lore.

From Character story 5:

Master Jean has yet another secret. No matter how many times she has read the historical classics, despite her title of Dandelion Knight, and though she has become the Acting Grand Master whom everyone relies on... Jean still loves romance novels. This is not for the years as a young girl that she missed amid her training and duties, or due to the rift that formed in her parents' marriage. Jean simply yearns for the mutual attraction spoken of in such stories, for those emotions as subtle and fragile as spider-silk. As a knight, she must put Mondstadt and the Knights of Favonius first. But...

I'M SORRY?

Be so for real right now. What. Like. What. Huh. Wh.

So basically this entire post was to come down to this one line and tell you all in a very loud TED Talk sort of way that I don't know what the fuck Hoyo is trying to say by declaring neither of those things to have ANY relation to this interest, but that I disagree. I think it makes perfect sense for a woman who was denied girlhood to have wistful thoughts of romance like in the books. I feel it seems ridiculously out of place as a part of her character without that context, in fact.

Fuck this noise. Anyhow.

Her summer skin in game also has quite the flowery description, as follows:

The Acting Grand Master's life runs like the gears of a machine, driven by the great force of heavy responsibility, constantly being ground down by work. Over time, the armor of chivalry has become like Jean's second skin, the presentation of proper dress code and a formal image becoming ever more firmly forged into her nature. But in truth, Jean is no older than the ordinary young women around her. In the novels that these young ladies enjoy, gorgeous gowns are as quintessential as sun, moon, and starlight themselves, and some opulent noble scions do indeed sit pretty in dresses that sprawl out like palaces, their hem-lines and long skirts intertwined like the lapping waves of the sea. Perhaps Jean once had such romantic aspirations too. After all, who has never hankered after the blissful beauty of luxury?

Which I think, when tied in with the knowledge of her love for those novels, highlights an interest in more than just the relationships within them.

(Also this outfit having been a shared effort by just about every friend of hers within Mondstadt, I can't help but assume that the way she seems to covet the idea of being Just A Girl is something that those close to her have picked up on. Especially Barabara, Amber, and Lisa.)

So, at the end of it all, I offer you my silly little knight who (whether hoyo agrees or not) has some internalized self image things to work out that she never will because she's literally this tweet.

If you read all this thank you i owe you money for your time.

[yakdee]

Hi! It's me the anon you introduced BL to back around Xmas eve.

Sorry totally missed responding to your last post from me.

Regarding Even Sun and Last Twilight, which you asked my thoughts on.

Even Sun is...okay? I mean I like parts of it, but mostly I was confused a lot? And I would have really liked to see a sequel or something extra with the boxer boys, I feel like they are a pair that would be great to have another crack at. Basically I watched it for BounPrem and I got them. I don't think it's particularly good but I also don't think it's terrible. Just confusing. I have watched it twice now trying to figure out what really happened, still don't know other than the guy played by Prem was made into a soft island boy by the soft island boy played by Boun. Definitely some cute moments and one scene in particular that had me laughing so hard. It was bad but funny. If I could make gifs I would do a gif edit with the "whips and chains excite me" song from Rihanna, S&M i think. This is not to say their is any S&M in the show, but those who have seen it will understand I think. Very funny. There were some cute moments that I really enjoyed, but not their best work in my opinion, but also so not their worst 😬 I would say my fav moment was the whips and chains moment as humor but the other moment that was my fav is a toss up between them on the beach towards the end and the motor scooter moments. Something about the way he was practically falling asleep on the back of the scooter was cute. "Stupid (affectionate) angry boy meets island boy and eventually becomes an island boy, too."

Last Twilight...I have very complicated feelings about the show. Very complicated. As someone who has a disability I was very excited about this (mine is hearing related, specifically HoH) and to say I was disappointed is an understatement. And my disappointment is not just about the disability side of things, there were a lot of confusing choices that were made by who knows who, probably the writer and or the director, but I was sad and kind of pissed about some of the choices. But they did do a lot of wonderful things that I really loved, and I do love the pair, even though bad choices were made in my opinion. I just on the whole feel like the two mains were ripped off. But I loved the way they came together, I love how they were with each other. I love that Mhok tried, more than people expected him to. I love that they didn't shy away from Day being angry or spoiled. I loved the brother Night and PhoJai. I also wanted to punch the mother out a lot but that is a whole thing I'll take to my therapist 🤐 Make no mistake, it's a good series. Very good, it has some solid moments, so many in fact. I just feel like they fucked up a lot towards the end that kind of did away with the good stuff they did before that was so right. Would probably watch again one day if I ever run out of shows to watch but I doubt that will happen, but I'd like to sit down and give it another go, but I'd want to watch it with someone who loved it. I will say my fav moment was the hands moment. Once you've seen it you know what I mean, it was PERFECT.

Anyways I've watched so many BLs now, I just finished the 51st one. I dabble in all the different countries for them and find each one has their own unique qualities and annoying ones too! I have 6 on deck that I am having a hard time finishing, two of them are ones that came highly recommended in the fandom but I just cannot see what people are seeing with them, and no I won't tell you in case anyone or you really love them, as I don't want to incur any wrath. It might be an age thing or a life thing and that's okay!

My top fav 4 in no order at the moment are:

Between Us

The Eighth Sense

The Sign (where the hell is that special episode???)

My Beautiful Man (All of it)

This list could be way longer, so hard to pic favs but these 4 I have watched many times over between the rest of the shows and I basically think about them every day several times a day.

Thanks for introducing me to this world, it's fascinating and weird and wonderful and lovely. I love it.

Also side note, I have a cat and for some reason anytime I am playing The Sign, she will come and watch bits with me, it's actually comical. I can't figure out what or who she likes the most! Considering she mostly doesn't care what I'm watching it's funny.

💜K (hope you're doing well and sending whatever kind of vibes you need across the miles)

Hi, nonnie! So good to hear from you again!

No worries about missing the last response. I'd like to think of us as pen pals, so our correspondences have sort of a snail mail vibe to them :D Just for future reference though, all of my asks are filed under #rae replies, which is one of my featured tags (i.e. tags that pop up on a blog when you click into the search bar). But it looks like I inadvertently gave you your own tag lol so you can find all of our chats filed under #nonnie.

S&M by Rihanna, huh? I am super intrigued to see what scene prompted a connection that song XD I've also seen a few gif sets of them riding around on the motor scooter and I have to agree, it's adorable.

Regarding Last Twilight, your thoughts actually align with the general consensus of those in the fandom who watched. That is, the end sort felt like a cop out and fell a little flat compared to the earlier parts of the series. BUT it shall remain on my watchlist because I've seen some good parts while gif-watching the show, the hands moment™ being one of them, and I think it's worth it. Especially for the representation.

51 already? Woo~ that means you've been averaging 2-3 a week. Nice! How are you keeping track? Are you using MDL or something else?

Yes, I agree. It is super interesting to see how the different countries approach the same genre. It's even more fascinating to see the difference in approach through remakes and adaptations (e.g. Cherry Magic and Why R U?).

Re your current watchlist: I firmly believe that you should drop shows if you're not enjoying them. As completionist, this goes against every fiber of my being, but enjoyment comes first. And I know how the fandom can be when it comes to critical feedback about beloved shows so I respect your decision not to tell me and I will not pry lol

That's a solid top 4 you have there. I've heard about The Eight Sense, but haven't had the courage to watch yet because I know it's a bit angsty/melancholy before we get to the happy ending part ;;

You're welcome, again! It seriously makes so happy to hear that your having a good time :')

Re side note: I wonder if your cat is feeling an animal-like kinship to the Naga and Garuda spirits XD If anything, it just shows that she has good taste in visual media. But if you do find out who she likes, please report back!

Hope you're doing well too~ Talk soon 💜

[daisychainsandbowties]

Agreed on ava’s vibes

not my main hc for her (tho honestly my main hc for her is just that regardless of gender identity she likes called beatrice’s boyfriend/girlfriend/husband, etc, as long as she’s being called beatrice’s, and she’s well, nonbinary, no other notes beyond that)

but i love hcing ava as a transmasc woman, simply because transmasc women & transfemme men are such underrated genders

and fuck, now i’m getting teary eyed over the thought of beattice getting to just getting to be and experience gender euphoria and/or contentment

beatrice handing out treats on halloween for the trick or treaters, some kid being like “thanks uh-“ and struggling as they try to guess how they’re supposed to gender bea

“thanks ma’am-sir? miss? mister?” beatrice impulsively shrugging for ? reason, the kid taking it as some sort of cue and finally settling on “thanks mister!” or “thanks mister-miss!” and beatrice can’t stop smiling for the rest of the night

also same hat on the autistic bit, will be sure to check out that fic soon, and also please do elaborate on the autistic beatrice thoughts 👀

i love how autistic vibes beatrice is, not just in the show but in many stuff by the fandom as well, my fav fics are the ones where the autistic beatrice vibes are ^1000

Also yeah, lilith is so nd, love how her story can be so easily read as a metaphor for autism

like lilith’s line about her mother “being unable to accept the reality of the woman in front of her”, sounds an awful lot like a convo between an autistic child & their ableist parent

lilith being successful but being rejected bc she isn’t fitting this unobtainable ideal (being the warrior nun/being neurotypical) that she’s literally died for

seeing & experiencing the world differently (being nd/lilith’s wraith vision), being obviously different from others (being nd/lilith being a demon), desperately trying and failing to repress those differences

but then accepting them making you better than ever (no longer trying to be neurotypical/lilith accepting the demon stuff)

and then aside from the obvious ways lilith’s arc can be read as an allegory, lilith’s whole 🧍‍♀️(menacingly) energy she has so often in the show

like girl obviously has absolutely no idea what to do with herself when she’s not being a menace and it shows

also i saw her dragging her nails and doing yhe nail clack thing on the walls of arc tech and then her noticing what she’s doing and being like 😧 as her subconsciously stimming and it bothering her because she’s used to, supposed to repress those behaviors, but then ever since she came back from the dead, she can’t do the repression anymore, in more ways/aspects than one, and stuff like her stimming & neurodivergency is one of em

like yeah ik she was 😧 about the demon claws ig, but no reason it can’t be both

i am kind of drawn to the idea that Ava expresses her gender in relation to things/people. like yes, absolutely - she is with Beatrice in any (every) capacity.

but also that she approaches gender as something nebulous and shifting and as complicated as dressing sometimes in really feminine clothes because for so long she basically wore a hospital gown so dressing up and having that experience of getting dressed up as a teenager, the weird giddiness of girls sharing their clothes and their accessories and going ‘ah shit, this does look better on you’ - *strips the shirt off and flings it across the room unceremoniously* & also sometimes Ava dressing in a shirt and a suit jacket and looking masc and handsome & really just existing as herself, orbiting gender elipitically so sometimes she’s closer or further away or curving dramatically thru space.

picking the male avatar in video games bc she likes the animation better. being just really drawn to long-haired Link in Breath of the Wild. like yeah, Ava’s relation to gender as ‘idk?’ but in a typically Ava way which is also somehow effortlessly compelling & honest & true.��

tearing up at the image of Bea giving out halloween candy with Ava next to her going ‘make them sing a song’ but Beatrice just giving way too much to each person & complimenting their costumes and taking whatever form of address comes her way which - yes - varies wildly bc she’s rocking short hair & half the time comes to the door with the hood of her hoodie pulled up (by Ava, who is doing ‘hood surprise attacks’ in the spirit of halloween). the peacefulness of that image & gender as peaceful…

gender + autism being so good and Beatrice getting to escape from the rigours of social gendered-ness & just exist without being pressed into these various contortions of gender. something about authenticity and being as an act of radical self-love. also defiance. 

oh yeah i def think that Lilith’s whole story is very neurodivergent-coded. it might be another ‘casper can’t write neurotypical’ but my ligaments Lilith is veeeery neurodivergent. doesn’t like touch as a general rule but likes it very much from specific people. the way she is just in general echoing so many autistic experiences.

the way that she occupies space inconsistently and uneasily. the very visible ‘signs of otherness’ in her demonic wings and the scales and i guess i’m thinking about masking and her inability to mask. she is consistently outside looking in, relegated to the borderlands of the narrative.

how i think in s1 she is so wonderfully alternating between this playfulness (lounging on the car outside the orphanage, her laughter when she and Mary are beating each other to hell, the way she interacts with Ava - 'it's a stick') and then her absolute intensity at other times. how revealing that is of the fact that there is a Lilith stacked underneath the mask-version she has so carefully construed to help her and keep her safe. what i am raised to be vs who i am.

how soft she is and how caring with those she loves, & i think how the narrative itself misunderstands her (deliberately) and how we gradually see that NOTHING she does is really selfish, but that she’s let down - so often - by those who are supposed to be her family, and because she masks so well her needs aren’t appreciated. i think ppl take care of Beatrice and Camila and they don’t take care of her in the same way. she ends up alone and isolated. she is tricked by people, used by people (Jillian, Adriel, Duretti)

this is a mess of thoughts but just how she is constructed, and how much it speaks to being an ill-fitting thing. not fully belonging in a world built for others and around their needs. how she clings to the first person to acknowledge her difference “you are something entirely new”. & her energy of i think very badly wanting to reach out and be SEEN but not knowing how, being overshadowed and forgotten and discarded.

how i think in a way she saw Beatrice as the Mary to her Shannon, what it must have been like to see that fall apart in front of her, to watch Beatrice go with Ava after the Vatican. to be finally divested of every hope she had for her life. 

& i am always every day feral about Lilith’s background. i am always tempted to hc her as an only child - last scion of my house & so on - but also thinking that from the very beginning she is not living up to expectations. i do hc her as having some learning disabilities growing up, & her mother making her suffer for it, terribly. the convo they have sounds like an old wound being picked open.

Lilith growing up with not one person in her life ever believing in her, being sent to the slaughterhouse anyway. the expendable one - the one we shall not allow to have children. Lilith with cousins who share her name but not her fate. so she makes everything about the halo. trying to fit into this box (coffin) that has been built for her since birth. dying for it, and even that is not enough. 

i really wish we could have seen Lilith grow to love and accept who she is. like yes, the fact that she is framed as liminal by the narrative, caught between two worlds, two sides of a conflict.

she is neither/or. her scales are spectres of inner difference, but they are also beautiful. Lilith learning that what she sees and feels and what she is - they’re all different but not bad or worse. Lilith using her demon sight to help the OCS. learning that she doesn’t need to be the halo-bearer (but also that she doesn’t need to be valuable. she just needs to exist).

Lilith being permitted to take up space and time and energy, instead of folding herself away to nothing. the teleportion as a metaphor for self-erasure, for masking and making oneself still and silent.

writing Lilith as neurodivergent (probably autistic +) is really beautiful because it opens up all of these possibilities for exploring what is gorgeous about neurodivergent existence, and what it means to unmask after YEARS of suffocating inside of a body that was controlled by the expectations of others. & let’s not forget that when you start stimming after not being allowed to for your entire life it DOES feel scary and it does make you uncomfortable because it sets off alarm bells and there are a million instances of people saying ‘stop it that’s annoying’ or ‘what is wrong with you’ & Lilith’s initial horror being THAT, too, but how eventually it will be okay and good and easy. 

i just LOVE Lilith to pieces bc her whole story just aches but it’s also this incredibly difficult and worthwhile journey towards self-acceptance. & when you start to see HER slip through the cracks of the walls she’s put between herself and all of the things that have the potential to hurt her it’s just searingly beautiful and SHE is searingly beautiful and neurodivergence is poetic and fantastic and good.

anyway tysm for these thoughts. i rlly appreciate them.

[stopthatfool]

8, 17, 33 for top gun asks!

Hello Anon!! thank you for the lovely asks!! (this is going to be long im so sorry)

8. Favourite plane used in the movies?

Oh boy! Oh boy! I gotta be honest-- my fav is the F-14! I saw her when I visited the National Air and Space Museum (the Steven Hazy one) this past summer! And oh boy! She was gorgeous! (and turkey-like)! I love her so much that I even bought an overpriced t-shirt from the museum giftshop with the F-14 on it!

and because I can't help myself-- i'll share some photos i took! And fun fact! This Tomcat has one confirmed MiG kill from 1989!

(last one is a pic of me with my beloved F-14, which when i shared it with some of my friends they informed me that i was the gayest i have ever looked in my life (said affectionately) so i guess there's that.)

I can't help myself.. so I will also share some pics of the F/A-18C that was there-- specifically one that flew with the Blue Angels! This lady also served in Operation Desert Storm!

i just can't help but love these ladies. They're my girlfriends.

17. If you had a callsign, what would it be?

I rambled for hoouuurrrss about what my callsign might be here! But I can give you a quick summary of what I said!

I have red hair-- so it's likely that i could get the callsign "red" or "ginger" (sigh)

I would not be a good/cool pilot! I crack under pressure and freeze! So i could get a callsign like "fool" or "spoof"

33. Line or scene from the script you wish made it into the movie?

oh oh oh! this is a fun one!

I like this line here. it's funny-- and revealing of how Ice considers others (at least on the outside) and how little he lets himself have fun with things!

And there's this scene that is less funny but more interesting into Maverick's character and how he views, interacts, and considers the things around him.

There's this level of intensity from him that a lot of times comes across as "careless" in a way. Like here's this really complicated and expensive simulator and he's so intense about it, so crazy when it comes to flying that he just.. broke the fucking thing? A lot of things about Maverick is just so.. inconvenient for others-- he's kicking up dirt wherever he goes, and other people have to clean it up. (not that I'm expecting Mav to fix this simulator, but i think it just reveals his mentality and how he considers things, they're really just objects to him- an object to use however he needs to complete what he deems necessary).

Last one! I promise!

I'm a sucker for any content regarding maverick's mother! --As my fanfic consistently displays-- i honestly really wish that the women and mothers in both Top Gun movies were given the same level of importance as the fathers (All about Goose in TGM, all about Duke in TG) So i really wished they kept these small bits and pieces about Maverick's mother in the movie!

Anyway.. again i'm sorry this was so long! But this was so fun to answer! Thanks again, Anon!

[wizkhaleesii]

Oh boy here we go first post

A lot of the fandom tends to reduce Rhaenyra down to very base traits/very two dimensional characterization and it pisses me the FUCK off

She is not perfect/infallible, she’s also not the fucking devil. She’s a flawed, compelling protagonist, she’s not meant to be “good”, she’s NOT A HERO!!! That’s not the point of the story!!! This is not a story about heroes and villains! It’s about people! Living under a deeply fucking oppressive and misogynistic and classist and destructive system of power that destroys families and lives.

Putting Rhaenyra on a pedestal does not make you a “feminist icon”, and most criticism of her is not misogynistic! In the same breath, putting her down and venerating Alicent ALSO does not make you morally superior!!

(The only “criticism” I will say is misogynistic in nature is any form of slut shaming? That reeks of internalized misogyny and you should probably examine that)

You make Rhaenyra so much less compelling of a character when you reduce her to “entirely right” or “entirely wrong”, you loose the inherent tragedy and also strength of her character.

We are supposed to be viewing the story through our current, modern lense, to recognize how backwards and messed up the society the characters have to exist in IS! Not perpetuate the same kind of ideology??

Anyways I’m gonna try to break these ideas up into multiple posts and not just one giant rant.

Rhaenyra Targaryen is one of my favorite characters from any media ever but not for the reasons everyone else seems to have her as a fav? They genuinely seem to be closer to the reasons that the people who hate her, hate her. She’s a wonderful protagonist, a really complicated woman, and a fascinating person to watch. She’s not a hero, she’s an ambitious survivor who wants what she’s been raised to believe she’s owed, and she’s also a mother so humanly driven by grief. Stop stripping away what makes her character so interesting!!!!!!!

[girl4pay]

okay you mentioned catelyn stark so now you’re just gonna have to suffer through me spiralling just for a sec it’s been years and years since i read any of the books and i watched the first few seasons a while back i don’t RECALL this being in the book ALL THAT SAID when cat’s talking to robb’s wife about the charm mothers make for their children GENUINELY one of the most fun and fascinating character moments Of Time for me and like i’m really generally Not That Into got but that whole conversation RULES ME like!!! idk idk how to explain it but the absolute psychological war going on there the terrible, awful humanness of it like she prayed for jon’s death!!! and then he almost died and she sat with him all night begging the gods to let him live, promising to love him and then he lived and she still couldn’t do it!!! like watching cat’s resentment towards jon was so uncomfortable and it’s like… SO so obviously unfair and wrong and then you realise cat KNOWS ITS WRONG she knows he’s an innocent in the situation and that it isn’t his fault and he deserves to be loved and cared for and she believes all this to be true to the degree that she fully believes failing to do so is an act of evil punishable by the annihilation of not only her entire family but like the whole continent she believes utterly and wholeheartedly that it was her god-given duty to love this child and she STILL COULDNT DO IT absolutely fascinating absolutely runs my brain like i will give at least what i’ve seen/recall reading in GOT credit for absolutely and categorically refusing to have any Morally Pure characters and not even just in a ‘they didn’t have any better options’ way in a full throttle people who are otherwise ‘good’ doing things that are genuinely and completely unjustifiable way but this moment especially i’m fascinated and obsessed like i really didn’t think they were ever particularly going to raise jon and cat’s relationship and they did and it’s fucked up and complicated and ugly! and she knew she was being unfair and cruel and she knew it wasn’t his fault and she was taking the anger that should have been for ned out on this innocent kid and she wanted to be able to love him but she Just Couldn’t! even though she hated herself for it she’s internalised the guilt for it so deeply she genuinely believes herself to be fundamentally responsible for Every Bad Thing That’s Happening and she knew it was hateful at the time but she couldn’t help herself!!! fucked up and fascinating!!!! i never stop thinking about it!!!!

its literally so fun like i love to read it i don't remember the scene abt the charms bcus i haven't watched the show in ages but the jon + catelyn relationship is so fucking fascinating and well written honestly catelyn + all her children it's like a great little microcosm study of like misogyny + familial abuse + power dynamics probs my fav part of the series. like my favorite part of the starks is they are supposed to be the Good Family that loves each other etc etc so they serve as like a perfect mirror for all the social issues in the got world bcus it's not villainy or hatred it's just what happens to a group of people living in a world like this

[seeraplimau]

change of mind

My next binge watch was, how i met your mother. Again. It's a 9 seasons kind of show but I start it at Season 5. Idk I think Ted was more bearable at that time although Barney is still the same creep lol. But hey he got better after more watch lol. I think the writing is brilliant, the concept lah, the whole thing how they make sleeping with women as main plot is creepy. Something that you couldn't recreate in 2020's. There's no lie that we as society have become hyper sensitive on certain topic especially things that was niche back then. Is this a good or bad change? Idk but good lah that we learning. Some stuff is a bit fuck up and there are so many weirdo out there and making this accessible to them is not a good idea.

Anyways, if you ask me during my first watch of himym, I will say I hate the ending and toward the end of season, it getting worse. But after numbers of rewatch, I kinda get why how what they were doing. Like I think Barney breaking off with Nora because of Robin is soo stupid. Kevin who still decide to be with Robin after knowing she cheated and besides having such a weird dynamics. Ted who still hold to the future to be with Robin. Lily too obsessed with who fuck who in the group and Marshal who make his relationship his whole personality. Like, on this list alone, it's a pretty stupid show. I totally get it if anyone say it is unbearable to watch.

But I guess that is just as how life could be. Human are....complicated. Relationship can get messy. Things can go unplanned as we wish. In an ideal world, we could solve every conflict by being direct and honest with how we feel and how it could impact the surrounding. But it is not ideal. I hate this reasoning, but it is complicated.

Top on my mind of fav episode, when they try to rhythm the whole episode as a lullaby for Marshall's baby. It just brilliant and so nice to watch. ((okay i will continue write this piece later. start to feel sleepy and tired now huhu))

[shesacinemaniac]

The Ultimate Chick Flick Movie Night (not the usual suspects)

I love a chick flick, I have so many great memories of watching them with my girlfriends till 3 in the morning! And as much as I love Mean Girls, Cinderella Story, and What a Girl Wants, I love the Chick Flicks that aren’t usual “go to’s”. Here are some of my favs!

“Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion”

This one is a classic! Two women who were “nobodies” in high school make up new lives when they go to their high school reunion. It’s in my opinion one of the best Chick Flicks because at its core it is a film about female friendships. Also the costuming is FABULOUS!

“Saved!”

Not your usual plot for a chick flick, Saved! is about a teen girl at a Christian School who sleeps with her gay boyfriend to help “make him straight again.” She becomes pregnant and with the help of the school misfits (who she once looked down on) hides it from everyone. A great movie about friendship but also as someone who grew up in the church it’s a refreshing take on “Gods love.” Also hilarious, Mandy Moore plays the Evangelical Villain very well!

“Sugar and Spice”

If you love a campy Chick Flick, look no further than Sugar and Spice. A cheer squad turns grocery store robbers to help financially support their pregnant cheer captain. Now this is not a necessarily a good movie, but it sure as hell is a good time!

“Whip It”

Directed by Drew Barrymore and starring Elliot Page, this film is about Bliss who joins a roller derby team behind her parents back and just really finds herself! Such a good film, and made me think I could do Roller Derby 😬… I can’t.

“Bride and Prejudice”

Ahhhhhhh I love this movie so much! Now 2005 P&P has a had a death grip on me for over 15 years but this is one of my fav Pride and Prejudice adaptations! The music, the dancing, the camp! This Bollywood version of P&P is just filled with so much joy and life, I cannot recommend enough!

“The Joy Luck Club”

This film isn’t probably what first pops into peoples heads when they think of Chick Flicks, but hear me out. Based off of Amy Tam’s novel, this film is about 4 Chinese American women and their mothers who immigrated from China. This movie has so much heart, its focus is on the complications of mother-daughter relationships but also on the experiences of Chinese Immigrants and children of immigrants. If you watch have a box of tissues close by…

“Waiting to Exhale”

I have very distinct memory of wanting to watch this movie so bad as a child but not being able to because it’s rated R. But I’m old enough now and wow! So fantastic! This film is about four women, their struggles and how they overcome them. And hot damn this cast is stacked! Whitney Houston and Angela Bassett to name a few, it’s a must watch!

“Jawbreaker”

Jawbreaker was Mean Girls before Mean Girls! Also if the Mean Girls accidentally killed one of their own and were forced to try and hide it from the police. A little bit of a darker chick flick, I would definitely recommend this one to anyone who is a horror camp fan. It’s fun but also a little fucked up!

Tell me your “unusual” go to chick flick!

[kirascottage]

dating jj maybank

jj maybank x gender neutral. reader

word count: 1.8k

cw: headcanons, overall domestic fluff, angst if you squint till ur visions blurry, mentions of poor emotional expression, mentions of sex / sexual innuendos, mentions of fighting / injury, strong pda, kissing, consensual groping, swearing, soft!jj

okay so this is the first time i’ve ever written dating headcanons so i’m gonna try my best

• jj and expressing emotions are a very complicated duo and almost everyone knows it, including you. he knows how he feels for you, and feels it strongly, but the way it comes out of his mouth is like gibberish and completely not understandable. 

“so you know — like — i don’t know, man. i feel heavy for you, like do you feel heavy for me, too?”

“jj, i don’t even know what heavy means in this context and what you’re referring to.”

• but he comes from a good place, and you come to know, learn and love that, because well he loves you, and with jj you just have to infer by his mess of words.

• this boy tries to be as romantic as possible but he’s literally never had a s/o before. the only thing he knows are one nighters so there is a lot that pope and john b advise him on because miscommunication is quite literally the worst. (stated by john b himself)

• for this instance and the sake of the headcanons: you are a member of the pogues, through and through.

• so most of the time you’re together, the pogues are there too. even dates. they love to occupy and jj could shout at the top of his lungs how they are the biggest cock-blockers to ever exist and they would not care. 

• so at that point he doesn’t even try to keep his hands to himself, he will touch you or quite literally make out with you in front of anyone and everyone he can.

• i mean he can get a little protective. (also considering he would never let you around his dad because he wants to protect you and would never let you near anyone that could hurt you) 

• i mean this guy would fight for you till the very end; punches thrown countless of times and harsh words absolutely shouted more times than you could count on your fingers, but no matter how many times you chastise jj, he would never stop to defend your honour because at the end of the night you’re the one playing with his hair and kissing his cuts and bruises.

• especially after everything as well with rafe, topper and the kooks he just wants everyone (including the tourons you see once a millennium) to know that you and him are romantically involved and you are very much taken.

• he even lets the most irrelevant people know the both of you are dating because he loves you that much:

“okay, babe, here me out—”

“jj a whole group of kids just asked me about our relationship! i love you, but the whole population does not need to know that we’re together.”

“obviously we can't tell the whole population! or I would, duh.”

•  even though he could blabber on about everything about you, including what shampoo you use and which perfume of yours is his favourite, affection is more his style: 

• this includes walking around with his hand in your back pocket because wearing anything but jean shorts is really not an option in that heat, (and this does include ass grabbing at every opportunity he can)—

• — his hand gently placed on your thigh while driving / while he’s next to you, interlocking pinkies 98% of the time as you walk together —

• — and peppering kisses is always happening. whether they’re ticking at your checks, suffocating your neck or affectionately placed on your forehead he’s always kissing you.

• other key, and essential, things that come to mind are that his arm is always around you; after everything that’s happened to him he just needs to physically know you’re there and that’s enough to subdue him.

• it’s almost routine for him arm to go around your waist or your shoulder, whether you’re tall or short, tbh he doesn’t really care, his arms and lips are always on you.

• dating jj is dating a teenage boy with absolutely no impulse control and zero control over what he says—

“I mean, dude, if you think about it, why isn’t a banana called a yellow if an orange is called an orange? and why are phones called ‘telephones’ like who the fuck came up with that crap?”

or

“i mean, hey, we could bang out here and it’s not like anyone would know. like jb could be out in the living room and be like clueless.”

“jj, there’s two windows pointing directly at us. i think he would know.”

• —if you don’t understand then he definitely does not either.

• you also flip each other off a lot and people are like ??? but you both are like — fuck you —(affectionate & full of love with my middle fingers)

• one thing he does know is how to flatter you, whether he’s obnoxiously winking at you or bringing you flowers with his tips from work, or he picked them himself, it’s all in the effort.

• any effort from you is like kids getting their favourite toy they’ve been wanting on christmas, for instance: anytime you bring him food, or offer to stay with him at john b’s is like swelling up his heart to the maximum.

• so when he’s not with you, or the pogues, which is rare he is outside. and jj is like diego the explorer he always finds little places just for himself, or for this instance with you.

• so a lot of dates include going to these secluded spots: sometimes it’s a picnic, or a walk, and stargazing is his absolute favourite as he listens to you drone on about the constellations and even just watching the sky with your presence next to him is so comforting and makes him feel safe. 

• of course when the pogues find out they’re brutal with their teasing.

“awww, look at the cute and happy couple!”

“my wittle babies, growing up so fast.”

“god, kie, you make it sound like we’re five?!”

• speaking of alone time, jj loves to cuddle when you guys are alone and that’s one thing he’s not fond of being teased about.

• his head is firm on your chest, his arms wrapped around your waist and his leg flung over your hips. to him it’s just a perfect way to start and end the day.

• he also loves to watch movies while cuddling and he has a set of movies and their genres completely memorized for the occasion.

• he has such a good memory to the weirdest things. like he can state in the exact order your makeup routine, or talk about all the caves and sinkholes in yukatan but ask him how many states there are in america and he’s completely bummed.

• back to what i was saying, cuddling and movie times together.

• he’s the little spoon i will not argue with anyone about this, especially if something happened that day.

• like if rafe pissed him off, some kooks stepped on his toes, his dad had been particularly agitated that day or he was just frustrated. your embrace is what keeps his together. he just loves the feeling of your arms around him, essentially protecting him.

• and the pogues always get a kick out of it when they see you too snuggled in the morning. they even take pictures, a lot of pictures of everything and anything they can. 

• their fav times to take pictures is when you both are off guard: like when he’s putting his hat on you, he’s sharing his juul with you, you guys are laying together on the boat or maybe your surfing together in the water.

• he’s surprisingly intimate about everything even though they’re such mundane things for him.

• he expresses his love for you by actions rather than words. for example, he has a guitar (an absolutely beat up one with missing strings and chipped wood, but he says it has more character that way as well as your signature on the back of it)—

• —and just strums it for you absolutely whenever and however your mood is because no matter what its always calming. sometimes he even hums a little tune or starts singing a bit.  

• another few ways he depicts his love for you is by shoving his baseball hat on your head (the one that absolutely nobody is allowed to wear) because he doesn’t want you frying in the sun or dying of heatstroke.

• a lot of his tank tops are now yours because they’re so comfortable and you can wear them literally anywhere.

• he shares, only with you but, he shares. his rings are on your fingers, his bandana is around your neck, his boxers are your sleep shorts, and he absolutely eats that shit up.

• he also gets extremely comfortable with you, like even more than john b in a way. example: you could just be chilling, his arm wrapped around your neck and — boom — he’s shoving your face in his armpit and trying to tickle you.

• it gets to the point where the pogues are so used to it and sometimes even they join in because they even like being included in on your affections but would absolutely rather drown than admit it. they love watching their two best friends love grow for each other, and they're happy jj has found sanctuary to love and be with someone freely. 

• speaking of love, jj is also like a puppy: praise, reassurance and kisses are the way to his heart and staying there.

• i’m gonna say it, jj has self confidence and love issues. they are not detectable at all but with his mother gone and the way his father treated him, there’s shit buried in his heart that it takes awhile for him to open up about.

• once he does: he cries, and he cried a lot. but after that it was like never letting go again. he trusts you with his whole heart and soul and he knows you won’t take advantage of that.

• the way you both accept each other into each others lives is so important to him no matter where you live, who you are and what your family is like everything counts for him and that just makes you the person who you are. 

• dating jj can be complicated and messy and wonderful and passionate and relationships aren’t easy but he would def be worth it <3

[krtetsu]

i have so many hcs that over time got absorb into canon for me that i just kinda forget to like post about them bc im just like well fucking duh bokuto has adhd & bpd ??? and has three older sisters & comes from money ?? & his mother is nice on holidays but his father is kind in a mean way all year around & he's trans & has dimples ??? and obviousllyyyy kuroo has adhd & heterochromia & his mother left at 8 & he's fairly money conscious bc of growing up poor & has been helping his father keep on the low his sorta of relationship with kenma's parents for many years before realizing he himself is poly and of fucking course ? ? tsukki is part french from his father's side (which is a shame bc mf was a cheating shit who hide his other in france) and has a sweet tooth & deleted akiteru's number when he left for college. and yeah duh akaashi has anxiety & ocd & has an extremely complicated relationship with his mother & loves journaling and his all time life goal is to be a published author & is a tea enthusiast specially citrus flavoured ones. i gen could go on and on about all the scattered hcs i have not only for these four but like for most of my top 15 favs. like these r just canon to me idc idc . anyway send me a character & i'll give u a bunch of hcs.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...

Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.

I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.

Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation. 

We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:

We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most. 

But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything. 

And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.

Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”

I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really. 

Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.

2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?

Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning. 

To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.

And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family. 

Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.

So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.

Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.

That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom. 

And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?

And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?

P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.