#My Love Enlighten Me youtube

[musashi]

You said in one of your youtube videos I think that the aa anime had your favorite characterization and I was wondering if you'd like to elaborate on that a bit more? I haven't watched it yet kother than the bloopers video lol) and I'm just curious as to what it does differently than the games

it is true to the games in every regard, but it has extra time to add character flourish that the games cannot.

just some examples: maya moves around erratically in every space she's in, the foley work is amazing so you can hear her wooden sandals on the ground and the clink of her beads hitting themselves. she barrels through crime scenes, accidentally smacks phoenix all the time because she isn't paying attention to what she's doing, and just has room to be more 'maya-like' because she's in an animated space and not stuck in a VN with mostly-static screens.

phoenix's internal monologue is replaced by long, lingering shots of him silently studying evidence as he finds it. moments where he connects everything come as instant revelations and you are left on the edge of your seat waiting to hear what he will say, rather than having to piece it together yourself. his character is incredibly pronounced in the anime especially--the core tenet of him is 'faith' and this is shown wonderfully time and time again.

(see, the scene in episode 2 where maya says she doesn't want him defending her, so he bikes in the rain all day to the office of every single defense attorney in the county begging for their help. the flashback scene in episode 13 where larry is insisting that miles has abandoned them and is about to crush miles' keychain under his foot, and phoenix dives for it and lets larry smash his fingers instead.)

miles in game is described as being sad-looking and watery-eyed, always kind of holding pain in his body and expression. you get to see that in the anime, instead of just having it told to you, and it does an amazing job at softening his character and endearing him to you in an instant

the anime supplements tons to established relationships. i talked in that video about how i love what it does to the prosecutor family, it shows you miles as a teenage boy and surrounds him in imagery (flower language, the clothes he wears, wide shots of him stuck at a fork in the road) that tells you he does not know what to do or who to be. and it shows you how the von karmas take care of him, and how it is miles' choice to be a prosecutor.

in the anime, franziska never has her 'miles was like a little brother to me' line because the anime shows you instead of telling you.

the anime offers insight into manfred von karma's thoughts on miles, which are notably remorseful and kind. it offers flashbacks to a time when franziska was protective and loving toward miles, doing everything in her power to pull him out of his trauma-induced depression and help him process grief.

the AA anime loves using symbolic storytelling. flower language is a big one, light is another. light is constantly used to convey truth, enlightenment, joy. this shot where franziska is literally in miles shadow as her father begins the process of choosing him over her, but she smiles with her whole face because she finally got him to smile for the first time since they've met, is literally a fucking masterpiece to me. i could write my dissertation on this scene alone.

the anime shows us everything we do not get in the games, all the little things we wish we could be privy to. it shows us mia giving maya the best day she possibly can, before asking maya--with the full expectation that maya may say no--if she would be willing to head the fey clan.

the anime gives us the progression of miego's relationship, literally SHOWS them falling in love

the anime gives us the fucking hospital scene that everyone is insane about!

and, of course, the anime gives us the little tiny baby signal trio, all running around and playing pretend as their favourite toku heroes.

these keychains that larry wins the three of them are a thruline throughout the whole show. phoenix keeps his on his briefcase, exposed to the world just like his heart, its paint chipping from years of love.

miles keeps his hidden away, close to his chest, pristine after all those years. even as the demon prosecutor, he never gets rid of it. even when he chooses death, he takes the memory of his two best friends with him.

the ace attorney anime is a fucking masterpiece. it takes these pre-established characters and breathes new life into them without losing sight of their original intention. every choice it makes is beautiful, rich with depth and nuance and love. it is genuinely no wonder the fandom hates it so much, which how much it clashes with their often black-and-white views of these characters who were never intended to be that way.

obviously, as a new medium, it does have to make some changes to adapt properly. but i have decided i am no longer speaking any problems i have with those changes, because i am sick to bastard death of negativity on all sides of me and would rather just publicly profess my love to this anime forever.

watch the aa anime.

(hey, dipshits in my notes! read the above banner, and then read it again! read it a third time, for good measure! are you typing a tag that starts with 'the anime has it's problems, but--' or 'the anime did a lot of things wrong, but--'? consider: no one fucking asked! not everything in the world needs your opinion, person with severe main character syndrome who doesn't know how to shut the fuck up! stop using parroting other people's opinions as a personality replacement and log off this website. take up a hobby. don't reblog my post. ten thousand whip lashes.)

[b4tasquad]

Hii i asked earlier if you were writing for sharky! Could I request headcannons or anything really on what it's like to date him? Like how he would be in the relationship etc. :D

DATING SHARKY:HEADCANNONS

When you initially started dating sharky it was safe to say you were scared for your life. Not only did the YouTuber have a crazy following that would dissect your relationship into pieces, trying to find way to pull the two of you apart, but the amount of girls that fancied him. Scary. You had been reluctant to tell him anything though. Being someone who influences in media was obviously something he loved doing, and you didn’t want to be annoying with your insecurities which you felt weren’t really valid. Somewhere along the first few weeks of being official, sharky had noticed. He kissed you softly, holding your cheeks in his hand. “I don’t care about what they think or the girls in my dms, I just want you.” Was what he had said, honesty behind his every word. “I swear.”

He is your chauffeur. It didn’t matter if it was an hour's drive or even 2 minutes, Sharky drove you. It started with him casually offering to drive you places, and you accepted, happy to be given such princess treatment. One day, you enlightened him on your distaste for driving, just by casually mentioning it while in conversation. “ I don’t like driving, to be honest.” You had told him. “Prefer to be in the passenger seat.” From then on he had refused to let you sit behind the wheel. He gave you a ride to work, to your dates, and even for a little snack at the corner shop. While you always rolled your eyes, telling him he didn’t need to, you secretly loved it, and he knew that.

Not going to sleep without working things out. One important thing to Sharky was working things out. He hated arguing, but since it was something that happened in every couple, he focused more on how to resolve the issue than grumbling over the issue in itself. He was the calmest person you knew, and it didn’t matter how rude you were being. Sharky would reply with the softest tone, being caring and gentle with you. After a while you had picked up his traits, refusing to stay mad at him through the night. It made it even more complicated, and that was something the two of you didn’t want.

He’d make sure you’re comfortable around his friends. It was no secret that Sharky’s friends could be a little overbearing and come across as intimidating, which meant him being slightly concerned about how you’d handle it around them. He wanted you and the guys to get along, secretly needing his friend’s validation. It was the occasional “Are they being good?” when he had stepped away for a minute, or “What did you think about it?” after dinner. Luckily for him, you got along with his friends perfectly, even finding a funny friendship with one of his best friends, Aj.

When away for work, he was in them texts constantly. Checking up on you, chatting and ranting all day long. You wondered how he got the time in between events, filming and just socializing with others, but your boyfriend was Sharky. Of course, he found a way to do all that. “Babe, the guy sat next to me smells funny” he had texted you one night you knew he was supposed to be at dinner. “Just.. move?” You had laughed out loud, your laughter doubling when his response came. “I moved before even clicking send on the message.”

He was be READY for work gossip. It didn’t matter how little or big the tea was, best believe Sharky was all in to hear about your hectic work atmosphere. You found it sweet how he’d genuinely be so into it, commenting “Noo! Are you serious?” Or even “they didn’t.” It was an everyday thing. You get home from work to find Sharky doubled over the couch, waiting for you and his daily catch-up.

The first person you show your new items to. Sharky had made his love for you trying on things for him immensely clear dozens of times. He loved being laid against the bed, watching as you talked about the clothing/ item, explaining why you liked or disliked it. Often he’d come with his personal opinion which was always. “It looks amazing on you.” You rolled your eyes every time, but a smile still grazed your lips. Safe to say he was the best hypeman ever.

[putschki1969]

📢UPDATE📢"sprinter" LIVE AUDIO

Thank you to everyone who voted in my poll and left a comment in the reply section of my previous post on the matter. I was intrigued when @gslin sent me a link to this audio but I had no idea it would spark so much interest.

I received two very enlightening messages today that provided some substantial evidence. With the added information, I now feel confident that I can clarify the situation. This will hopefully clear up some of the confusion.

The first lovely follower (who would like to remain anonymous) sent me their personal recording of the live in question. They have been a fan for a very long time and got the chance to attend the concert back in 2008. First up, a big apology. I wish I could post the recording but they asked me not to share it so I will respect that. However, I've been given permission to talk about it so here's what I've been able to find out〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

Just in case you are wondering, there's no doubt in my mind that my follower's bootleg is legit. You can tell immediately that this was recorded from within the audience. There's clapping all around and the music is considerably louder than the vocals. You can still make out the song pretty well though. None of the voices sound off or out of place. It's blended together pretty well without losing the distinct vocal colours of the individual singers. Which is why I know that this can only be from the YKL Vol.#2 front act performance since you can clearly make out Maya during her "bokura ni dekiru koto wa tada" line and some other parts. From what we know, no other live performances of "sprinter" have featured Maya.

For the past hour or so, I've been listening to different versions of the song on repeat, mostly focusing on the YouTube audio and the newly acquired bootleg. While the bootleg is of admittedly quite low-quality, there are two things that very clearly set it apart from the version on YouTube. Those two obvious differences make it absolutely impossible for the recordings to be from the same live performance. And since we've already established that Maya was not present for any other "sprinter" performances, we can easily conclude that the YouTube audio is fake.

Difference #1: Absence of the infamous guitar riff. @octopusofpaint already mentioned this in the reply section of my original post. The YouTube audio has a pretty blunt opening whereas the bootleg recording starts with the guitar riff we are all so familiar with. It's hard to know how audios are cut/edited so I'd be willing to let this slide if it weren't for the next difference.

Difference #2: In the authentic bootleg recording of YKL Vol.#2, one of the final lines, "naite sakende kiete yuku bokura wa", is sung by no other than (!!)Keiko(!!). That is very surprising since it is usually not one of her lines. Look up any random official live performance of "sprinter", starting as early as 2009 on the NHK program Pop Up Japan, you'll absolutely never hear Keiko sing that line. You know who has always been in charge of it since becoming a three-person-unit? Wakana!! Now let's listen closely to the YouTube audio again, shall we? Whose voice do we hear? I'm giving you a hint! It's not Keiko's! But it's not Wakana's either!! Surprise, surprise, it's Hikaru's!! And do you know where Hikaru sings this line? Only in the studio version (and most recently during Kalafina covers at YKL but with a notably different voice so I won't take that into account here). And you know what else is very specific to the studio version? The lyrical cold open without a guitar riff. This leads me to believe that the studio version was almost certainly one of the main sources for this awkward mash-up on YouTube.

Now onto the second message I received today. This time from my lovely follower @concretebadger. Thank you so much! Many of you speculated that the 2010 live performance might have served as an inspiration for this supposed "unreleased" audio track. And I think you were not wrong about this. While I do believe that the studio version might have been the "main" source, I do think that the creator needed to add something else to make it sound more like a live performance. This is where the 2010 Red Moon version comes in. @concretebadger actually took the time to mash up the two tracks for a comparison and the result makes it quite clear that the two audios are eerily similar. Check it out for yourself〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

If you use the studio version and Red Moon live version as base layers and then add a few tweaks here and there to distort certain sections in order to make them appear more raw and unedited, you basically end up with that mysterious track that's currently floating around on YouTube. The previously mentioned line "naite sakende kiete yuku bokura wa" might actually be a good example for the layering/mashup of those two sources. While you can definitely identify Hikaru's vocals during that part in the YouTube audio (indicating the usage of the studio version as base), there seems to be a slightly different texture to her voice that makes it sound almost ethereal. This is most likely due to Wakana's singing of the line being added to the mix. It's very subtle and Hikaru's vocals are certainly more prominent but it's worth mentioning.

Anyway. Mystery solved. At least for me. Maybe you still have some thoughts on it. Feel free to share them below.

[hischierswhore]

Hi love could I request a Instagram au with mason mount with the face claim kayla kosuga ( YouTuber reader) where she’s a teen mom, and mason and her have been dating for awhile (but he’s not the dad), and the fans hate on her because they think they are not good enough for him and mason gets overprotective with the reader and the baby hopefully that makes sense it's my first request something have amazing day/night

online hate insta au (m. mount)

faceclaim: kayla kosuga

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yourusername

liked by masonmount, yourbff & 128,937 others

yourusername beach day with Maddie & Mase☀️

view all 16,093 comments

masonmount my favorite girls💕

masonmount i love you both

yourusername we love you more🥹

y/nfan5 my fav trio ahhh

y/n&mase19 the way Mason treats Maddie as if she’s his own daughter 🥺

masonfan19 get away from him!

masonlover101 literally just get away from him. we know you’re only with him for his money🙄

yourbff oooh some of you bitches in this comment section are BITTER😬

*liked by yourusername & masonmount*

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yourusername

liked by masonmount, cmpulisic & 205,117 others

yourusername the trio takes on Miami😎

*comments on this post have been deactivated*

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masonmount

liked by chelseafc, yourusername & 602,857 others

masonmount Hello to all,

I want to thank my amazing fans who have shown nothing but love and support for me. Sadly, I'm here to call out the disrespect and harassment the woman I love dearly is getting on a daily basis. Y/n has been the most supportive & loving girlfriend. We met when she was in the early stages of her pregnancy, and from the moment we met, I knew I was in love. We have been together for 3 years, and I have helped her raise Maddie as if she was my own daughter. I love both Maddie & Y/n with my whole heart and I will continue to do so.

To those who are creating such displeasure and opinions about the ones I love and my relationship, it's time to stop. In this era of social engagement and enlightenment I want to express the importance to spread positivity and needing to know when it is unfair to express your own distaste for something or someone, especially when you can do it behind an anonymous identity. I make this statement as my most humbled self and would be so grateful if we all would move forward in positivity and respect.

All love,

Mason x

*comments on this post have been limited*

benchilwell well said, mate👏

sophiaaemelia Y/n & little Maddie deserve the entire world🥹

kaihavertz29 💙

yourbestfriend people need to leave you, Y/n & Maddie alone or i will not hesitate to fight

cmpulisic you guys deserve nothing but love 💙

chelseafc 💙💙💙

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[tokiko220]

Noone talks about The Drummer and the princess movie enough and ESPECIALLY not about the people behind it. It puzzles me to this day.

Warning, extremely long post but i really wanna archive all this.

For those who don't know, in 2018 Angels Pictures released a teaser trailer( CZ EN) for this movie and it obviously looked shit for a movie made after 2000 ESPECIALLY when people were claiming it cost 80 million CZK to make (3.5 mil USD-ish) which is an insane amount of money for a czech production. Plus in the czech trailer they have an uber popular czech singer Karel Gott appear revealing he's voicing in it, they even have a super low res photo with him from the studio.

(honestly i'm pretty convinced they met him once for the recording of the trailer lines)

So allegedly 80 mil CZK 3D animated movie with a bunch of celebrities voicing in it! Wowza! Why does it look so shit? EDIT: CORRECTION! After going through some more documents this is in fact and estimate of how much they think the movie is going to cost- they seem very upset people get that wrong. But honestly I don't think anyone actually thought they spent that much money on it.

Immediatelly bunch of czech news websites started rolling out articles about it because obviously, it was ridiculous. It looked ass the trailer is pretty cringy and they have all that stupid self congratulatory bs about giving 4% of ticket sales to kids because its made for kids. With love♡ People are ridiculing the hell out of it, obviously, but then a rumour starts that it's a all a publicity stunt. Obviously noone would make something that looks this bad in the year of our lord 2018! Angels Pictures don't hesistate and start nodding their heads aggressivelly. They pat themselves on the back for coming up with this new cool marketing strategy they dubbed "The Spites and Envy Promo."

They post this stupid, self congratulatory post talking about how they actually intentionally made the teaser bad, saying they modified it with "minor technical imperfections" (MINOR??????? IMPERFECTIONS????). According to this interview some guy named Jeremy came up with this genius and "innovative" plot. But if you read the interview (in czech unfortunately) you'll also find out the teaser probably looks so bad because no, there isn't actually really a movie at this point! Which is insane, given they released the teaser in September and promised a winter release! They apparently work by recording the dub first and then animating for it. In the interview he says they have about 20% of that done. But whatever, they keep insisting it's all part of the plan dude! The movie is going to release in like 28 countries and it's gonna be huge. (if you speak czech i totally recommend reading that interview it is enlightening lmao) I don't need to tell you I think the "spite and envy" promo is a bunch of boloney because if you're looking to drum up views and popularity through controversy you don't turn off your youtube comments about it.

Back in 2018 I was having a riot following this and despite being convinced it is not going to come out, I was posed to see it day 1 in the theatre if indeed it did come out (afterall, they're giving 4% of ticket sales to kids ♡) They continued to flaunt their genius marketing strategy and even bragged their teaser became the most watched czech animated movie trailer on youtube! Which while true, it doesn't really mean anything, because they second most watched actually came out and made money, while The Drummer and The Princess entirely missed their initial release date with no explanation why! On their website the release year kept shiftin ever forward and in 2019 they added the "RIP Karel Gott" to the trailer, so I know you're out there GIVE ME MY MOVIE!

Spoiler alert, it's 2024 and we still don't have the damn movie! But ever since then I've been completely fascinated with these guys, so let me bring you towards the about us section of their website, because it's frankly hilarious. Meet Angels Pictures!

Starting with Alex Pieter you'll notice he proudly states he's the author of the "project" The drummer and the princess. The second thing he mentions is that he's a member of MENSA and makes sure to explain it is an association of people with high IQ because you wouldn't know anything about that. Underneath that he lists a bunch of things he did which really just reads like when you put literally ANYTHING you think is relevant and makes you look good on your CV, like that he cooperated with big names like Vin Diesel or Catherine Zeta-Jones or Gerard Depardieu. Generaly a bunch of jargon to try and make him look super cool.

There's also this guy but he's considerably less funny and really jsut looks like your regular marketing guy. He's not even in MENSA.

Back then I was still wondering whether this was all an elaborate joke, and I may even believe it if these two guys didn't sound like the most start up "trust me bro" marketing guys. That really marks the end of The Dummer and The Princess, but I'm not done with Angels Pictures quite yet! You see, I thought they got me all excited for this movie and then dipped but no, they were planning something even cooler.

A video game.

Honestly, you need to see it to believe it.

After seeing this, I genuinely started doubting myself again. Like this has got to be a joke right?? What in the mother of all asset flips...

It was supposed to be a VR experience (but also non VR) about .. uh.. well....... Flying aroung?? And there will be vampires.. and dragons?? Whatever they found on the asset store I assume. But not in the base game! You see, the clever MENSA head over at Angels Pictures came up with this new game monetization model called "Modular System". You buy the base game called "The Radix" and then you can buy additional packs such as "Oh, Look!" which adds interesting sights to this flying simulator (making me wonder what the base game even does have). Then we have "Vampires" which I supposed adds the Italian Vampire Palmira who does not believe in wearing pants. Also a bunch of other "modules" that add things to "duel with for treasures". Yay.

Those with a keen eye might notice this isn't actually entirely their idea, this has basically been The Sims 4 monetization scheme since literally forever, but as much as I hate to admit it, at least the sims actually like.... You know.. Gives you something? And isn't an asset flip. And ... exists. Oh yeah, spoiler alert, the No*1 game with the funniest flying object (whatever that means) never did come out, I know, we're all shocked an crushed about it. The actual website for the game went down (which is why I'm making this actually, everday I fear all of this will dissappear) but there's still stuff about the game on their company website such as;

The release Timeline. Lofty goals, per usual. I don't need to tell you none of that happened because if it did I wouldn't be writing this and I would instead be playing Magic Carpet game swith the Vampire and Space module.

Continuing the scroll we can find that they claim to be a studio of "roughly" (???) 30 artists.

Ah yes, nothing is quite as innovative as a VR asset flip game that gives vague description of what it's actually going to be about. Reminds me Dream World.

I don't know what kind of artists they are but whoever made that purple green logo should be fired promptly. Also as you can see they are still bragging about the huge success their marketing campaign was and using it to seem credible- never mentioning that the damn movie never came out. The kids are still waiting for their 4% (which btw they never quite mentioned what charities they are planning to give that to.)

Now let's check out Alex's updated profile for the game;

He's really come to his own since The Drummer and the princess. He's still a member of MENSA, a global association of people with high IQs, but I think it's adorable he updated his photo to be a picture of him holding a controller like he's a gamer girl on instagram. He's just like you, fellow gamers. He's a 3D artist now and an IT specialist and programmer! Is there something this handsome devil can't do?! though despite his newly acquired 3D art skills, the game somehow manages to look worse than the movie trailer.

I also wanna point to this, purely because I wanna archive it. "A game that simply isn't on the market" yeah but what is it ABOUT Alex???? It's honestly a hilarious read and a look into "the sicks brains on their team."

After all of that, what's the conclusion?? I dunno! I think these guys really missed their calling as MMORPG Fundraiser scammers, I think they really would have popped off with that. My theory currently is they try to set up these projects and websites and try to make themselves look as credible as possible to get investors for their stuff?? But I also cannot imagine it ever actually worked out? And obviously they never delivered on anything they promised so I just don't know! Besides they actually did work with Karel Gott and that's nothign to scoff at! I wish I could find out whether it was because they have an in with him or whether they paid him (if so, with what money? I can't imagine getting someone of his caliber to voice for you is cheap).

That marks the end of this insanely long rambling about this thing I've been obsessed with for years now and really wanted to archive in some limited way. Now I'm just waiting for them to come up with some new project that involves AI.

[nctsplug02]

hannie day! | jeong.j

GENRE: fluff and possibly suggestive

WARNINGS: besides kissing— nothing else!

BOING!

gremlin: video attachment.

jaehyun sets his pen down and checks the notification with a sigh. please don’t be like last time, the voice in his head begged.

“hello youtube,” jaehyun smiles when seeing his daughters face close up to the camera. “so,” she sighs and brushes her hair back. “i am sad.” jaehyun frowns and sits back in his chair.

“very sad..” she sighs. “because i dink.. mommy and daddy.. i tink they don’t love me anymore.” jaehyun tucks his hand under his other arm. “mommy and daddy don’t hang out with me anymore. they only like minho and it hurts my feelings a lot.” hannie frowns and sighs, again.

jaehyun frowns and taps his phone when the brightness goes a bit darker. “but, it’s okay. i have mr chuckles and jen unnie.” hannie says and then a tear falls down her cheek. “i miss when mommy and daddy loved me.” then the video ends.

gremlin: i think we need to have a hannie day.

jaehyun stands up and grabs his coat from the back of his chair. he grabs his keys from his inside his drawer and leaves the building.

“girls,” jaehyuns voice booms throughout the house. “i’m home!” you walk to the front door with the baby boy in your arms and your shirt up.

you smile and jaehyun follows. “welcome home, honey.” jaehyun leans down while you lean up. you smile in the kiss and hannie comes from behind you with your phone in her hand.

“hi daddy.” jaehyun smiles and picks up the girl before planting a kiss on her cheek. “hey, princess.” hannie sighs and jaehyun looks at you. “hey— what do you say we have a hannie day?” her head tilts. “hannie day?” jaehyun and you nod.

“it’s where you, mommy and i spend the whole day together.” her eyes enlighten. “without minho?” jaehyun and you laugh. “yes, without minho.” she gasps and cheers.

“we can do anything you want today, okay?” hannie nods excitedly. “go brush your hair and then we can go when jen comes.” hannie nods and runs upstairs as soon as jaehyun sets her on the ground.

jen arrived ten minutes later. “thank you for coming on short notice, jen.” jen nods as she slowly rocks the boy asleep. “we’ll be back before midnight.” jaehyun says, watching you flatten the boys hair down— he was born exactly like hannie; with a lot of hair.

“love you, minnie.” you kiss the boy and jaehyun grins while hannie tugs on his hand. “can we go to the car first?” jaehyun nods and picks up the girl. “meet you in the car, babe?” you nod and stand up with a sigh.

“i have some frozen packs of breast milk in the fridge.” jen nods and you grab your bag. “mm,” you frown and stare down at the boy. “it feels so hard to leave.” jen laughs. “it’s fine, mrs jeong. i promise, he’ll be perfectly fine! go and have fun.” you sigh and nod.

“thanks, again jen.” jen nods and you walk out to the car to see your husband buckling your daughter in.

“hey cutie, i’ll come open your door.” you shake your head. “it’s fine,” the door slams shut. “i can open it myself—?” you go to open your door but jaehyun beats you to it. “a queen should never open her own door.” you laugh with a head shake as he opens your door.

“you’re so sweet. i love you.” jaehyun smiles and shuts your door before climbing in on his side. “love you more.”

jaehyun looks back at hannie who plays with mr chuckles. “so, princess, where do you want to go first?” she hums and flips mr chuckles around. “can we go eat at ‘mama’s bbq restaurant’ please?” jaehyun starts the car. “of course we can, it’s your day today.”

“where’s the next stop, princess?” you ask the little girl whos belly was filled with grilled meat and tofu soup. “mmm.. let’s go to the mall!” she squeals.

“alright!” you match her tone. “daddy, our princess wants to go to the mall.” jaehyun grins and nods, taking a left. “the mall it is my queen and princess.”

it took about fifteen minutes before arriving to the kwangya mall.

“what store should we go to first?” you and jaehyun held both her hands, you held her left and jaehyun held her right. “um.. can we go get our nails done?” you look up at jaehyun who presses his lips together.

the look on his face.. he knows that she’s gonna ask if he’ll join too.

“and, maybe daddy can join, too.” she looks up at him and he quickly nods. “yay! that way we can all have pretty nails!” she jumps catching you off guard meanwhile jaehyun held her by strength.

an hour later, the three of you leave with painted nails. you had white, hannie had this cute baby pink color and then jaehyun had this baby blue color.

“thank you, daddy! thank you, mama!” she squeals as she examines her pretty nails. “you’re welcome, princess.” jaehyun says with your arm tangled with his.

“is there another store you’d like to go to?” hannie looks around while fiddling with her nails. “well.. can we go to the bathroom first? i rrrreaally need to potty.” she says squeezing her legs with her hands holding her area.

“of course, honey. let’s quickly find one.” jaehyun picks her up and quickly rushes to the bathroom with you following.

hannie presses her bubble wand and jumps when multiple tiny bubbles fly out of the hole. “woooaahh!” she giggles and waves her hand around, attempting to pop them.

“hannie, princess.” you turn around and watch in ‘awe’ as she plays around with her new toy. “yes, mama?” jaehyun climbs in the car after putting all the bags away in the trunk.

“mommy saw the video you made on mommy’s phone.. and, i was really sad that you thought mommy and daddy don’t love you anymore.” hannie turns off her bubble machine and looks down. “i’m sorry, mama.” she bites her bottom lip.

“no, princess. don’t apologize.” jaehyun says and you agree. “daddy’s right. don’t apologize for feeling how you feel. if you feel a certain way, you can always tell mommy—“

“and daddy.” jaehyun adds on.

you laugh. “yes, and daddy. but, what mommy is trying to say is— you can talk about how you feel instead of hiding them. mommy and daddy want to know how you feel when you’re sad, happy— everything.” hannie nods.

“do you understand what i’m saying, princess?” hannie nods. “i under.. understand.” she says. “good— i love you.” she giggles. “i love you too, mommy.”

“hey,” jaehyun whines. “what about daddy?” he looks in the mirror and hannie giggles. “i love you, daddy.” jaehyun nods and grins proudly. “i love you too, princess.”

hannie fell asleep on the way home and jaehyun carried her inside.

she woke up the next morning and gave her brother the biggest kiss on the cheek and whispered that she loved him after.

A/N: happy new years, my beloveds! i love you all and i’m glad i have you all by my side going into this new year! 2022 was pretty hectic but i’m glad i had you all by my side! 💗💗

[niceto169]

Rose of Versailles (Korean Musical)

My friend and I finally got to watch some scenes from the Korean Musical and oh boy I wish I could watch the whole thing and speak Korean to some extent, but for now I have to make do with what YouTube offers me

(thank you auto captions)

I NEED to talk about this interpretation of André, so here are the scenes I'm very normal about:

(no screenshots because no screenshot could do their acting justice, I'm begging you to go watch it now!!! also the voices are so good!)

1) 너라면

The way he's beaming when he's singing about Oscar?? His love for her is so overpowering and brings him so much joy it's really contagious 😭

2) 독잔

I like how they changed the wine scene (I still loved all the drama in the manga, but I feel like others wouldn't hate André so much if this is how the scene looked in the first place) Also André literally reached enlightenment after Oscar said she'd never marry 😭😭😭

Okay I tried to put everything it made me feel into words but looks like I can't

Please watch it and talk to me about it

[corpsepng]

Pls make a list of books you recommend to aspiring writers<3

Ok. Aspiring/burgeoning writer starter kit:

In writing anything you officially become a writer so that’s step one haha, no need to aspire too much. BUT. I’m going to soapbox for a bit using this ask as an excuse love u kissing u etc. So. This will barely be about books, but sort of the recipe of what I (personally and subjectively) think will help anyone who wants to grow their craft. (I know because I've been writing seriously for 14 years)

The act of writing is the best practice you can get but having a well from which to draw on creatively and skill wise in order to DO that practice is the trickier part. And sometimes we can be found lacking because we’re either NOT refilling that well enough, consciously enough, or only with the same sorts of things so it gets stagnant. This is a long one so I’ll shove it under the cut haha.

The recipe:

Study craft

Broaden horizons 

Diversify consumption

Consume with intention

Apply with reference

1) Study craft: this is the easiest to make sense of, right? I want to get good at writing so I read books about writing yada yada. Whatever you’re writing, it’s made up of a lot of moving parts, and you can dedicate time studying EACH PART, but figure out what you have the least experience with, or the most difficulty with, and start there. Also, before I go on to preach about why you shouldn’t solely stake your growth on some dusty old books, here’s some dusty old books I recommend:

The Elements of Style (strunk/white/kalman) (really quick and abbreviated advice, read every bit of this but remember: rules are important to know so you can decide which are worth following and which are in need of breaking for the pursuit of your goals. And nobodies perfect, or editors wouldn’t have a job)

Bird by Bird (Anne Lamott) (excellent work about fostering a process, important for everyone who finds themselves a little lost on how to just. Start)

Wonderbook (Jeff Vandermeer) (I haven’t read this one but knowing Vandermeers work this is on my TBR and I KNOW it’s going to be enlightening)

How to Read Literature like a Professor (Thomas C. Foster) (perfect for those who can see others stories working but unsure how to make their own work, I personally didn’t read much of this one but this will help people to more critically engage with what they’re consuming)

Save the Cat Writes a Novel/Joseph Campbells Hero’s Journey/On Writing and Worldbuilding/etc (all of these are on structure and craft in a concrete sense), I would recommend either choose one OR getting the abbreviated/digestible versions through YouTube because a lot of these can repeat themselves. I’m working on a playlist of writing craft/structure videos that I found helpful, so keep an eye out for that)

So. Studying craft should be a multidisciplinary process. Articles online, videos on niche media, books on craft or copying things from your favorites, looking for yourself in the movies you watch or fiction you read. Punctuation, prose, structure, rhetoric, character, world building, pacing, etc. Unfortunately, no matter how seasoned you become as a writer, you will always be learning new things about the craft itself.

It should be fun and I honestly feel like an enlightened little scientist when I see something that really cracks the open the magic for me (ex: scenes that serve more than one purpose are OF COURSE going to be more engaging that scenes with only one purpose- duh) (of COURSE magic systems should have a cost) (of COURSE the characters cant always win OR always lose)

2) Broaden horizons: consuming fiction and studying it is key to knowing how to reproduce it. We start with the training wheels of imitation before we ride away full speed into truly unique original storytelling. But the most impactful and thought-provoking stories are more than just fiction, so you need to know more than stories. Science, history, art, craft, math, music, cooking, psychology, religion, whatever!

Everyone always parrots “write what you know”, but what you KNOW can expand to influence what you write- so keep learning new things all the time and for fun, because you never know what could help your story. Your knowledge is not limited to experience alone, and research is your best friend. ASOIAF was so loved because George RR Martin loved not only fantasy, but British history. The Folk of the Air series is so loved because Holly Blacks special interest is faeries.

Note: this does not mean the study of OTHER PEOPLES trauma and experiences in an appropriative way, rather, become worldly. Because sure, knowing what a gunshot feels like adds realism, but I don’t care about realism if I don’t care about your characters or world. Science fiction is the best example of this: so many of those stories stick with us generationally because they’re pointing a lens back at humanity, asking big philosophical questions with science, which is something that touches us all.

But it doesn’t even need to be Big and Thematic like that. My dear friend @chaylattes has a project where she’s applied her love of plants to the world building AND plot, and has INVENTED whole plant species that enriched their work with something so exclusively Chay. No one else could write Andromeda Rogue because Chay, with specific interests and knowledge, put that specificity into the story.

3) Diversify consumption: surrounding yourself with more of the same means you’re going to regurgitate the same, derivatively. To be a hater for a moment: I can tell within the first chapter if someone only reads/watches one kind of media (m*rvel, fairy smut, grim dark nonsense, etc), and it’s distracting. When I read that derivative work, I’m not thinking about THEIR story. All I can think of is the people who did it first, and better.

Alternatively, the best work draws on the unexpected. Fantasy work taking notes from horror, science fiction including humanistic romance, romance with elements of mystery. RF Kuangs work feels so smart because she’s literally a PHD candidate who’s reading of academic writing. Cassandra Clares work is so interpersonally messy and hard to look away from because she watches a lot of reality television. 

Genre is less a set of cages to lock yourself inside of and more so the sections of a great big fictional playground- and you need to start playing. Rules, again, are guidelines that can be bent for the sake of your stories. I predominantly write scifi/fantasy/horror but some of my favorite stuff is literary fiction, historical nonfiction, thrillers, and poetry.

And if you can’t bring yourself to read different genres, it takes significantly less effort to WATCH different genres. Television and film are stories too, and can absolutely be learned from. 

4) Consume with intention: this is easier said than done. I, embarrassingly, admit that I did not have any reading comprehension skills until I was at least 19. I was consuming, but I wasn’t thinking a damn critical thought, just spitting it back out in a way that sounded smart.

Critical thinking skills (I say, on the website that historically lacks such a thing) are a muscle that needs to be exercised just as often as your writing muscle. Reading new work, studying craft, learning new shit- none of it matters if you can’t APPLY it all to a story. One can take a clock apart to learn how exactly it ticks, but it won't tell time like a watch until you put it back together.

The key is asking questions, all of the time about everything. That whole “why the curtains were blue” nonsense comes to mind, but if you want to be a good writer, (edit: a writer that cares about whether or not their work is vapid imitation of better work) learning to ask WHY the curtains are blue really does matters.

Ask why in ALL stories you consume, including your own. Why do Ghibli films make me feel calm? (Motifs of undisturbed nature, low stakes plots and quiet scenes of reprieve between action, characters that care about one another and aren’t afraid to show it) Why do I fly through a Gillian Flynn novel but take 8,000 years to read other books? (Concise descriptions, realistic but evocative premise, witty voice, contained and fast paced plot, an abundance of questions driving the mystery leading up to a satisfying crash of answers at the end) Why were the curtains blue, the coffee cup chipped, and the lipstick stain on the rim red instead of purple or pink? And why did the colors matter at all when the scene is about a father at a kitchen table? (You tell me!) Answers may vary.

You can put the work into learning the answer at the source (ie: listening to authors talk about their own work), or through the external interpretations of a critic (proceed with caution here), sure. These are even good when learning HOW to think critically if you don’t even know where to start. But your growth as a writer depends on your ability to answer your OWN questions. 

(Why do I feel tense in this scene? Is it because the character says they’re sweating and struggling to breathe? Is it because I’ve been told the monsters close? Is it because the sentences are getting shorter and the author keeps repeating descriptions of that monsters massive bloody teeth coming closer? Or is it because I know the gun in her hands has no bullets because another character already tried what she’s about to try?)

(Why do I feel sad in this scene? Is it because the characters mom just died? Is it because the character can’t even verbalize that sadness to others? Is it because none of the other characters seem to care enough to ask? Is it because of the wilted flowers in the corner? Or is it because there are daisies in the bouquet, and those were the moms favorite?)

I can nod and smile at 1000 opinions about “why X did Y and the end of Z” or “why X is Y and not Z” but how I felt when I consume something, how I was affected and how it made ME PERSONALLY answer my critical questions, that’s what’s important. That’s how we manufacture gay subtext in everything, because sometimes gay is a feeling as opposed to a fact.

Also, if those subjective answers are inconsistent among readers/viewers, the writer likely had their own intentions a little muddled. So, and I know I’m getting tangential but stay with me: romance. You know how you’re supposed to feel happy or convinced that the people falling in love are like, in love? And want to put yourself in that position or whatever? I CANNOT consume most romance media because it all comes off as categorically terrifying to me. I ask myself why the characters are doing what they do, reacting the way they react, saying way they say, and none of it feels romantic. I want to file a restraining order, and that’s the failing of the author, who did not make enough conscious choices in their work and accidentally created horror while writing their color by numbers trope slop of a “romance” novel. 

5) Apply with reference: is like taking all your ingredients and finally cooking. You want people to notice and respect when you add certain literary devices, descriptions, character choices, but not to the detriment of your work. Shows like stranger things are popular but divisive because their intertextuality and reliance on nostalgia bolster an otherwise unoriginal idea. They weren’t trying to reinvent the wheel, they were writing a love letter to Stephen Spielberg, and are riding that wave into the ground. But the fairy dick renaissance doesn’t feel nearly as palatable as season one of stranger things did because a lot of times they aren’t using the ingredients in their own way, rather, following the recipe to a T and selling it as new. Food really is the perfect metaphor and sorry in advance because I’m really going to run with it here lol. 

When I eat a meal, first of all I know I'm eating food, so don't try and trick me into thinking otherwise or I'll only get annoyed. I want to be able to taste all of what’s in front of me, spice, salt, sweet, bitter, etc and know what what you said you've fed me is really actually truly what I've eaten. One ingredient, or writing choice, shouldn’t overpower another, or surprise me so much I can’t take another bite. I shouldn’t try something you call “sauced and baked yeast patty garnished with fermented milk and smoked meat” and think “this shits pizza” because you didn’t even try to jazz it up more than what the instructions on the digiorno box said. I also shouldn’t bite into something you call a pizza and only taste bread because you really like bread and forgot that a pizza is more than just bread. 

But inversely, avoiding all ingredients gets you weird, nary inedible shit like charred milk reduction with lamb mist or whatever. Show me you have knowledge in your genre by referencing it AND remixing it, show me that you studied craft by foreshadowing properly or pacing well, show me you’re more than an AI writerbot by deepening your work with your unique and human influence, show me you read broadly by adding surprising ingredients, and show me that you mean every word you write because you made the curtains blue instead of yellow, and topped your pizza with pepperoni instead of pineapple.

Congrats on making it all the way through my rambling, hope I made sense and that this helped!

[sunsetsandsunshine]

~ Ticklish Twins ~

HIII! SORRY FOR THE DELAY YOU GUYS! I HAD TO CATCH UP ON SOME LATE ASSIGNMENTS- BUT IT’S ALL GOOD NOW!

Ler’s: Donnie🐢💜, Leo🐢💙

Lee’s: Donnie🐢💜, Leo🐢💙

Warnings: None :) 

Summary: Ever since Leo and Donnie were little, they always argued over who was the older twin, which caused lots of fights throughout the years. But now Leo, being the smartest of the two (obviously), has a solution on how they could settle this once and for all…

——————————————————————————————————

“Nardo! Give me back my book!” 

“Oh what? You mean this book?” Leo grinned, examining the book he “stole” from Donnie, who was desperately trying to get it back. It was around evening and the two twins were sitting on the couch in the living room, earlier making a deal with each other that they wouldn’t bother one another unless it was important. Which Leo definitely did not keep. But what did Donnie expect? 

The two were wearing they’re signature sweatshirts, Donnie’s purple while Leo’s was blue. Now, originally, Donnie was going to get back into reading more advanced books, after the Invasion, lots of places were closed including the library. And if you knew Donatello you knew that he absolutely despised novels online. Sure, it makes the book you’re looking for easier to find, but it eliminates the whole purpose of getting a book itself, like actually in your hands. 

So now with stores finally opening up again, Donnie was able to purchase a book! But he didn’t even make it through the first chapter- let alone the first page as Leo swiped it from his hands. 

“Oh, come on, little bro. I was just poking fun!” Leo smiled, giving Donnie back his book that the softshell snatched out of his hands, glaring. Leo relaxed on the couch and pulled out his phone from his pocket; starting to watch YouTube videos on it. “I’m older than you, dipsit.” Donnie said, putting his book to the side and straightening his posture, which he only did when he was going to go really in depth with something…eugh boy.

“Pfft- since when?” Leo asked before Donnie could go into a 39 hour rant on how much he was right and how much Leo was wrong (he’s speaking from experience). “Since always! Were you not listening to Draxum’s 3 hour long summary on how he found us?” Donnie asked. Leo rolled his eyes, putting his phone on the arm of the couch. “Nope!” Leo said, making an exaggerated pop noise at the end of it. 

“Wait! I have an idea!” Leo beamed, clapping his hands together and turning to Donnie completely. “You…have an idea?” Donnie repeated, examining the person in front of him to make sure his twin didn’t get abducted by some aliens or something like that. Because when Leo has ideas, which is rare, they never turn out good- like…ever. 

Donnie sighed, pinching the space between his eyes and nose before looking back up at Leo, face. “Enlighten me, brother.” Leo grinned, tightening his mask on his head, while turning to Donnie fully. 

“Let’s compete! We’ll have a tickle fight on it. Winner is the older twin.” Leo smiled, grinning at the absolute genius idea and grinned only wider as he saw the evident nervousness on his soon-to-be-already-is-younger brothers’ face.

“I am not doing that.” Donnie said, crossing his arms; trying his absolute best not to sound nervous as he did so. Leo’s grin only widened at the softshell’s response, slowly inching closer to Donnie wiggling his fingers. “Aw~! But why? Is it because you're too ticklish for it? Is that it, Dee?” He teased, poking Donnie’s sides causing his purple-loving twin to squirm in his seat. “Is the Great Donatello Von Ryan too ticklish for this~?” Leo said, chuckling when he saw his brother’s cheeks flush a bit. 

“Oho gi- gihive me a break. Everyone knohows that you're the mohohost ticklish out of all of us.” Donnie said, wanting to punch himself in the face for laughing at Leo’s wiggling fingers. Speaking of Leo’s fingers, they were scaringly inching closer and closer to his sides…

“Well you’re gonna have to prove me wrong on that one, Tello!” Leo laughed, practically launching himself onto Donnie as he scattered and scratched along his sides. The softshell put both his hands over his mouth, determined to not laugh at. all. Because, has this tactic worked? Covering his mouth so he doesn’t erupt into laughter? No. No, it hasn’t. But oh well- Donnie was desperate and desperate times called for desperate measures.

“Oho my gOHOD stAhAh- PFFT- STAHA! GeHet OOHOFF!” Donnie cackled, his laughter sounding muffled against his hand as he kicked his feet. “Nope! None of that, you know better, Tickle-Tello!” Leo teased, removing Donnie’s hands from over his mouth as he kneaded his upper thighs.  

“NAHAHA! LEEHEEHEEO! NAHAHAHAT THEHEHERE!” Donnie squealed, hugging his middles and trying to squirm away from his sibling, Leo absolutely beamed at the reaction. “No can do, Don! Just admit it! I’m the older twin!” Leo grinned, now doing a whole spider maneuver with his fingers on Donnie’s neck, which caused his purple loving sibling to crunch up his shoulders and do a high pitched squeal, almost like a 6 year-old girl, or worse…Mikey. 

The sound startled Leo- who drawed his hands back and after a couple seconds descended into small snickers. “Woah, I’ve never heard that noise before~!” Leo laughed, going back to gently tickling Donnie’s neck where he squealed; gleeful at the reaction he just received and wanted more. 

“SHUHUT IHIT. YOHOU HEHEHEARD NOHOHOTHING!” Donnie yelled, pushing at Leo’s arms but the red eared slider did not budge even an inch. Leo went to the extra ticklish spot on Donnie’s neck earning another high pitched squeal from his scientist brother. “Oho, really? That cute little shriek of yours doesn’t sound like ‘nothing’ to me, Don-Don~!” Leo smiled, not only because he was 100% sure he’s got this in the barn but he was also smiling because he was spending some quality tickle time with his favorite twin (his only twin- but still), win-win!

“Just say I’m the older twin and I’ll stop, Tello~!” Leo said, now gently tracing the sides of Donnie’s shell. And if you weren’t in the room at this exact moment, you probably would have thought the soft shell got stabbed- or even killed! Donnie absolutely screamed as Leo started poking and prodding his sensitive softshell. Leo really wanted this “Older Twin” title huh? Going for his shell?! Oh this man is playing straight up fucking dirty. 

“NOHOHO! NOHO *hic* NAHAT THEHE SHEHELL! LEEHEEHEEO PLEHEHEASE!” Donnie cried, trying to kick Leo off of him but the blue banded turtle stayed on Donnie’s waist, making sure the two didn’t fall off of the couch but also making sure to tickle the absolute hell out of Donnie so he can claim the Older Twin title. 

“Awh! There’s a little design of your shell that has a heart! That’s so cute! You don’t mind me taking a closer look at it, do you?” Leo smiled, not even waiting for Donnie to answer as he traced over the heart design on Donnie, as the softshell descended into more squeaky cackles. “NAHAHA! NAHARDO *hic* DOHOHON’T! IHIT’S SOHO *hic* BAHAD THEHERE!” Donnie cried, still trying to squirm away. Now Donnie is really really starting to regret leaving his battle-shell in his room.  

“You’re not even fully fighting back like you normally do, Don. You must reaaaaally like this, huh?” Leo teased, going back to poking different parts of the side of Donnie’s shell. Donnie didn’t respond but just wheezed with laughter as he twisted and turned trying to get Leo off of him. 

“MIHIHICHAEL! RAHAPH! REEHEEHEE! HEHEHEHEHELP!” Donnie yelled, trying to be as loud as he could to get saved or something. Which… probably won’t happen because it’s just him and Leo in the lair as of right now. The others were running errands around the city. Worth a shot…

“Uh uh! This is a fight between you and me, mi hermano~!” Leo smiled, blowing a raspberry on the softshell turtles’ neck while still tickling the sides of his shell. Donnie gasped at the new sudden unexpected sensation at his neck, his laughter starting to sound hiccupy.  Donnie pushed on Leo’s plastron trying to break free from his grasp.

“NAHAHAH! NAHA- *hic* NAHARDO!” Donnie squealed. “Dooonnniiieeee~” Leo teased, mimicking his twins cry, sitting up but now hovering his hands over Donnie’s stomach, wiggling his fingers. 

“Hmm…I feel like TummyTello is feeling a tad bit left out from all this tickling, don’t you?” Leo asked, not to Donnie in particular though, the softshell knew he didn’t really have a say in this matter anymore. But Donnie couldn’t take anymore and completely PANICKED.  

Donnie suddenly kicked Leo in the foot, causing both of the twins to fall off of the couch, but Donnie, being quick on his feet, was able to take the upper hand as he went on top of Leo. He pinned Leo’s arms above his head as he straddled his waist, the slider squirmed under Donnie, not liking how quickly the tables had turned.

“Ahahany lahast words, Nardo?” Donnie smiled, still giggling from the attack from Leo but happy he was able to get the upper hand as of right now. And seeing how quickly his brothers’ cockiness and smugness faded made Donnie feel even more victorious. 

Donnie didn’t waste any time and immediately started kneading Leo’s knees, a well-known death spot for him. Donnie smiled as the slider threw his head back letting out squeaky cackles, snorting every now and again as his legs stomped on the floor. “DEEHEEHEE! NOHO WAHAHAIT! PLEHEHEASE *snort* IHIT TIHIHICKLES!” 

“Ohmigosh…really? I didn’t notice.” Donnie said sarcastically, suddenly stopping to give his brother a breather. Leo groaned throughout his laughs, glaring at his twin who just smiled innocently at him. “So~! Ready to admit the inevitable?”

Leo narrowed his eyes at his twin, oh he thinks he’s so smart. Well Leo’s not giving up that easily. “I already did! I’m older than you, remember?” Leo grinned as Donnie only chuckled, not saying anything. 

Donnie started scribbling his fingers on Leo's side, causing the slider to giggle a bit and lightly kick his feet. “Ahare yohou even trying to tickle me?” Leo asked, knowing that was probably the wrong thing to ask and couldn't help himself. Donnie sighed, now scribbling his fingers in Leo’s belly. “Oh Nardo, Nardo, Nardo…my dearest and dumb twin…” 

“I know something you don’t and the position you're in right now makes that extremely unfortunate for you.” Donnie smiled as if he wasn’t being absolutely evil. Leo swears- Donnie is scary just being himself but once your at the mercy of his tickly hands he’s terrifying. “Whahahat ahare yohou tahalking about…?” Leo asked. But as soon as he did Donnie started nibbling his stomach, making hilarious noises that had Leo in stitches. 

“AHAHA *snort* AHAHAHA WAHAHAIT!” Leo screamed, because if anything, Leo thought Donnie was going to abuse his knees again- not start nibbling at his stomach. He wasn’t prepared for this whole new ticklish sensation on his belly! This was completely unbearable…and the little “nom-ing” noises Donnie was making did not help. Guess Donnie took notes on where Leo was ticklish and how to tickle him there.

Or he just asked Raph, since he gives ticklish nibbles to him all of the time. 

“TEHEHELLOHOHO! NAHAHAT *snort* THOHOSE!” Leo cried, he tried to kick Donnie off of him which only caused the softshell turtle to nibble at his tummy more softly. Obviously causing his brothers' laughter to increase. “Donnie said no, no, no~” Donnie playfully said, holding Leo’s arms up higher and holding on tighter, laughing as Leo’s laughter increased in volume. 

“Oh, I bet that tickles, doesn’t it Lee?” Donnie chuckled, and only laughed harder when he saw Leo shake his head and stomped his feet on the floor. Leo couldn’t take it anymore. 

It tickled too much. Leo can’t even defend himself, which automatically makes this extremely unfair! So much for being the older twin, I guess…

“OKAHAHAY! OKAHAY! *snort* YOHOHU’RE OHOHOLDER! *snort*  YOHOU’RE OHOHOLDER!!!” Leo screamed. Oh dear pizza supreme in the sky, he was never gonna live this down. But to be fair, admitting being the younger twin is WAY better than dying by Donnie’s tickling hands, that’s for sure…even if Leo’s pride would be a tiny bit damaged after this.

“Sorry, what was that? I couldn’t quite hear you…” Donnie smiled, still nibbling at Leo’s stomach; which some might call mean- or even evil considering the slider already practically screamed bloody murder about freaking FINALLY admitting Donnie was older than him. But the scientist needs to make sure his little ticklish brother understands 

“YOHOU’RE THEHE *snort* OHOHOLDER TWIHIHIN!”

“Nardo, you’re gonna have to speak up~! I can’t hear you.”

“DOHOHONNIE *snort* IHI SWEHEHEAR!” 

“Alright, alright! No need to scream!” Donnie chuckled, getting off of Leo and crossing his arms triumphantly. Leo glared at him, puffing his cheeks out, pouting. “That was so unfair…” Leo whined, sitting up and sitting next to Donnie on the floor. Donnie looked at Leo and chuckled, raising his left eyebrow in amusement. “You’re the one that wanted it to be a tickle fight, idiot.” 

“Yeah! I know that! But I thought I would win!” Leo whined more loudly, slumping his entire body on Donnie’s lap. Donnie only chuckled, pulling Leo in closer, hugging them. “It’s not my fault you're a walking tickle spot.” Donnie argued.

Leo got up from his lap and crossed his arms, copying Donnie. “I am SO not! YOU PINNED MY ARMS UP! I COULDN’T DEFEND MYSELF!” Leo yelled which only caused the older of the two to snicker at the complaint. “Sounds like a walking tickle spot to me, still…” Leo rolled his eyes, sitting next to Donnie and resting his head on his shoulder as the two held hands, enjoying each other's company. 

“You…do know that if you won I’d still be older, right?” Donnie said, looking back to Leo who only wetly chuckled. “Pfft- I know that, Dee…” The slider said, because it was true, Donnie was older than Leo- by a month. After Draxum got accepted into the family, he had told them the WHOLE story on how he got them, including they’re exact ages. 

“But it’s just that…” 

“It’s just what?” 

“I just…missed this…messing around with you and stuff. After the Invasion, it hasn’t been the same, y’know?” Leo said, rubbing his fingers together trying to figure out the right words to say. “And I dunno, this might sound stupid but these moments with you are really fun…”

Donnie looked at Leo before smiling softly, giving him a hug and resting his chin on the top of Leo’s head as he melted into the embrace. “As it is true, you and I will not live on this Earth forever…knowing that, it is important to enjoy our time here while it lasts. And I’d not have anyone else other than you and our family and close friends spending that time with.” Donnie smiled, now both of them hugging each other and enjoying one another’s company.

——————————————————————————————————

THE DISASTER TWINS!!!

THE MIDNIGHT DUO!!!

THEY HAVE MY HEARRRRT I LOVE THEM 💜💙

Also, yes I’m an Older Donnie Twin Truther fight me 🤪😤 /j /lh

[jackalopesao3]

Nightbringer Theories: OG timeline, OG characters, motives, & a few other thoughts…

So @impish-ivy’s post inspired me to attempt to type out the word soup of theories that have been sloshing around in my mind for a while!

I have thoughts on what the world in NB is, where the OG characters are/what they may be doing, and a few other theories below the cut. Spoilers below!

First, I’m wondering if this “world” is some type of test for the MC, be it their allegiance or a test of Solomon’s for his apprentice.

The OG ended with MC being able to travel freely between worlds and being a member of RAD student council. The previous season, MC had to pass a test to become a sorcerer. The final OG season were tests/trials to become a student council member. There’s been a theme of tests recently so I can’t help but wonder.

Is this world how someone wishes things could have been? Someone’s attempt at a second chance?

What’s the motive here? NB repeatedly talks of tipping the scale to have darkness but why? Do the fae want to return in a larger presence? Would this be beneficial to their return? Is this an attempt to awaken the Faerie King or the Demon King? Is this to somehow enlighten MC on relations between all the realms?

Is someone else driving this? Maybe Michael is involved due to regret. He has connections to Solomon. Solomon has a pact with Barbatos. It is inferred that Barbatos and Nightbringer are somehow related. Is Michael doing this to get the brothers back by making an argument that the DD is too powerful now?

There was never any mention of the brothers being pardoned and allowed back to the CR in the OG. It also seems weird to be pardoned and then punished in Cocytus but this could be because the brothers refused to go back.

The next plot point I’m concerned with is that I think it will be very wrenching to go back to the OG world/timeline if these characters are entirely different from the OGs. MC has formed bonds with them.

To remedy this: what if everyone except MC (and possibly Solomon and Barbatos) fell under some sort of shared dream that they are in the past and the current events never happened (memories wiped/altered).

Maybe these are the characters we all know and love and someone (NB) has put them under this spell for motives still unknown.

The MC’s room is nostalgic for everyone. It’s been made a point several times in the storyline by multiple characters that the room is special.

Mammon shares in a text that the term, “being first” in regard to MC feels important to him and he doesn’t know why. This is before their NB pact.

Almost every character states a familiarity with MC, feeling a deep connection to them. Even when memories are lost, it’s possible to still feel a connection with the ones most important to you.

These feelings could actually be from the fae or NB observing the characters but I’m leaning more towards this being the OG characters as this would be less messy for the writers.

It would also explain Luke’s existence and why RAD hasn’t been established yet. NB starts about a yearish after the Celestial War.

Luke was born after the war and is still considered a kid in the OG. When he’s introduced in NB, he’s petrified of demons and has never met the brothers in their angel forms, only relying on what Michael and Simeon have told him. Was he born a child instead of a baby like how Satan was born a fully grown adult? Was he born from Michael?

He’d have only been alive a year if he was born after the war. It’s not impossible but to be sent to the DD so soon after being born/created is highly sus tbh. I won’t ignore the possibility that he may have been born before the war but I feel like this would have been mentioned.

In the OG, RAD was already established before the fall. If anything, OM! is pretty consistent with their lore, at least in my opinion. They’ve always been very detailed and even dropped videos of the scrapped plot on YouTube. They’ve also put some of those scrapped ideas into NB. It just seems very odd to me that this would be mistake. I may be giving the writers too much credit though! I just figured I’d share my thought on this while we’re on the topic.

Just these points alone (plus the brothers being pardoned by the CR) make a compelling argument for this being an alternate world/reality or some type of shared illusion.

(Branching off the pacts: what if these are somehow pacts with the little D’s? Maybe the faeries and this world are the little D’s emulating the brothers. Just a side thought! Moving on!)

Now that our pacts are reforged, will MC break this illusion, freeing their friends and found family? Or stay in this dream world due to the new bonds formed?

[imagitory]

Okay -- so my visual aids for this post are very limited since Disney+ will not let me properly screenshot this and there are no good quality versions of this on Youtube anymore...but I need to talk about Disney's The Little Mermaid TV series for a second. Specifically, one episode very near and dear to my heart called Metal Fish, which features a human explorer going down in a fish-shaped submarine to the bottom of the ocean, getting stuck, and being found by Ariel and her friends.

Now honestly, watching the episode again, there's a lot I don't love about it. Sebastian's whole subplot with the crab scouts is really kind of annoying, and I skip every bit of it. But I love the character of Archimedes (even if he never appeared in the show again! Boo!), and -- more importantly to today -- there's this wonderful moment right toward the beginning of the third act of the episode where Ariel and our human explorer lay eyes on each other for the first time, and there's just this electric connection.

Something that bypasses words -- this sense of wonder, enchantment -- almost enlightenment. And is it surprising? No! Ariel is the spitting image of what the human explorer had in his mind, when he was dreamily sketching out what a mermaid could look like, back on land.

And of course, at the end of the episode, what else should the explorer end up being named, but Hans Christian Andersen? And what else would he do, after being rescued by a mermaid, but use it as inspiration for one of his most famous fairy tales?

Okay, yeah, admittedly Hans Christian Andersen was a much sadder and more dysfunctional brown-haired human being IRL (just watch this video for a nice deep-dive about this disaster gay/bi/honestly-maybe-even-romantic-ace)...not to mention he wasn't even half this dashing nor close to being vocally similar to the great Mark Hamill...but one thing I absolutely love about this episode, and the aspect I personally respond to most, is the choice the series' creators made to have their interpretation of Hans Christian Andersen and Ariel have a very striking visual similarity, as well as similar personalities.

Many theorize that the original little mermaid was a self-insert character for HCA, with his fairy tale being a fantastical lament about the one-sided love he felt for the son of his most significant patron, Edvard Collin, who -- like the mermaid's prince in the original -- fell in love with and chose to wed another. There's even preserved correspondence by HCA where he writes of his feelings for Edvard being "those of a woman." And although this is more likely about HCA struggling to express romantic feelings that felt out of place in the very religious, heteronormative world he was a part of than about HCA himself identifying as transgender, I still think it was such a sweet little gesture for this episode to highlight Ariel and HCA seeing themselves in each other.

And this is where I wish SO MUCH I had some good quality video so I could truly share this piece of the episode with all of you -- because the moment where Ariel and Hans see each other for the first time gives me such life.

When Hans first sees Ariel, he's lost for breath, and he sounds and looks almost bereft when she disappears from view. When Ariel first makes eye contact with Hans, she clutches her face and hair, almost as if seeing herself clearly for the first time. And the whole time, they're looking at each other not fully face-to-face, but through glass and water -- almost a reflection of each other. Because...they are.

I'm sorry, I fail to articulate how utterly beautiful this is. No love story could ever capture the emotion this short scene instills in me. A platonic connection so powerful that it transforms you and how you see yourself forever. Meeting another person and, in doing so, truly knowing yourself for the first time.

However much I might praise The Little Mermaid TV series primarily for its music, there are also moments like this that remind me how wonderful Disney's adaptation of Andersen's story really is.

[traumacatholic]

please pray for me. This is too unbearable and there is no respite in sight

Of course, I'm so very sorry that you're struggling right now. I pray that God will send you the comfort and strength that you need. If you can, I would also recommend taking some time each day to read some Psalms. The Psalms have a lot of prayers that really speak to being in this condition, and I hope that they will be of some comfort to you.

Under the readmore, I will include some other prayers that you might benefit from. If you can, each day try and pray one or two prayers that really resonate with you. If at times, these prayers are too long for you. Then try your best to pray 'Lord, have mercy' or 'Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner'. When I am in a lot of distress, I find saying the Jesus prayer as I fall asleep (or during times of great pain or anxiety) to be of some comfort. And I hope it can be of comfort to you. There are audio recordings of the Jesus prayer on Youtube and Spotify, that you could always play if that would help you.

Prayer for Mental Health

O Master, Lord my God, in Whose hands is my destiny: Help me according to Thy mercy, and leave me not to perish in my transgressions, nor allow me to follow them who place desires of the flesh over those of the spirit. I am Thy creation; disdain not the work of Thy hands. Turn not away; be compassionate and humiliate me not, neither scorn me, O Lord, as I am weak. I have fled unto Thee as my Protector and God. Heal my soul, for I have sinned against Thee. Save me for Thy mercy's sake, for I have cleaved unto Thee from my youth; let me who seeks Thee not be put to shame by being rejected by Thee for mine unclean actions, unseemly thoughts, and unprofitable remembrances. Drive away from me every filthy thing and excess of evil. For Thou alone art holy, alone mighty, and alone immortal, in all things having unexcelled might, which, through Thee, is given to all that strive against the devil and the might of his armies. For unto Thee is due all glory, honor and worship: To the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Prayer for Healing

O Christ, Who alone art our Defender: Visit and heal Thy suffering servants, delivering them from sickness and grievous pains. Raise them up that they may sing to Thee and praise Thee without ceasing, through the prayers of the Theotokos, O Thou Who alone lovest mankind.

Prayer to the Theotokos for Healing

Where bitter sorrows overcome us, there will Patience and Rest be revealed.

Where the torment of despair dwells in the soul, there will shine the ineffable Light of Divinity!

Console the fainthearted, strengthen the weak, bestow softening and enlightenment upon embittered hearts. Heal Thine ailing people, O All-merciful Queen!

Bless the minds and hands of our physicians, that they might serve as instruments of the All-powerful Physician, Christ our Savior.

We pray before Thine Icon, that Thou mightest truly live with us, O Sovereign Lady!

Stretch out Thine hands, filled with healing and cures, O Joy of the sorrowful, Consolation in afflictions, that having speedily received miraculous help, we may glorify the Life-creating and Undivided Trinity, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, unto the ages of ages.

Amen.

Healing Prayer of Saint Ambrose of Milan

Thee alone I follow, Lord Jesus, Who heals my wounds. For what shall separate me from the love of God, which is in Thee? Shall tribulation, or distress, or famine? I am held fast as though by nails, and fettered by the bonds of charity. Remove from me, O Lord Jesus, with Thy potent sword, the corruption of my sins. Secure me in the bonds of Thy love; cut away what is corrupt in me. Come quickly and make an end of my many, my hidden and secret afflictions. Open the wound lest the evil humor spread. With Thy new washing, cleanse in me all that is stained. Hear me, you earthly men, who in your sins bring forth drunken thoughts: I have found a Physician. He dwells in Heaven and distributes His healing on earth. He alone can heal my pains Who Himself has none. He alone Who knows what is hidden can take away the grief of my heart, the fear of my soul: Jesus Christ. Christ is grace! Christ is life! Christ is Resurrection! Amen.

Prayer to the Mother of God in a Time of Distress

O my beloved Queen, my hope, O Mother of God, protector of orphans and protector of those who are hurt, the savior of those who perish and the consolation of all those who are in distress, thou seest my misery, thou seest my sorrow and my loneliness. Help me—I am powerless; give me strength. Thou knowest what I suffer, thou knowest my grief: Lend me thy hand, for who else can be my hope but thee, my protector and my intercessor before God? I have sinned before thee and before all people. Be my Mother, my consoler, my helper. Protect me and save me, chase grief away from me, chase my lowness of heart and my despondency. Help me, O Mother of my God!

Prayer against Passions, Torments, Despair and Distress

Waves of passion disturb my spirit, great sadness and anguish have overwhelmed my soul. Embalm my soul with Thy Son's peace, O Most Holy One, and by His Grace drive away every doubt and despair. Calm the storm of my sins that, like a fiery worm, burn me, and quench its flame. Fill my heart with joy, O Most Pure One, and disperse the fog of my iniquities before me, for it confuses me. Illumine me with the light of Thy Son. Helpless is my soul, and everything is cumbersome, even prayer. Here I am, cold as a stone, my lips whispering prayers, while my heart remains immovable, for it is smothered in anguish. Melt the ice which envelops my soul and warm my heart with Thy love.

I rely not on human protection, but fall down before Thee, O Most Pure Sovereign Mother of God; reject me not, but hearken unto the prayer of Thy servant. Sadness has overcome me; I can endure the demonic attack no more. I have no protection; there is no shelter for this poor man, and in this battle I am ever being wounded. I have no consolation, but in Thee, O Holy Sovereign. O Hope and Protection of all who believe, reject not my prayer.

O Most Holy Mother of Christ, Most Pure, Most Blessed Theotokos, Satan is pounding at me like the waves of the sea against a ship, pursuing me by day and tormenting me at night. I have no peace; turbulent is my soul, my spirit trembles. Hearken, O Most Holy One and help me. Intercede before the dear Lord that He may have mercy on me and forgive the sins I have committed. O Most Holy Mother of Jesus, Thy grace is great, and the mightiest opponent to the powers of Hades. Thou art able to save even the greatest of sinners who, having been cast into the depths of hell by unclean powers, should call upon Thee. So too, save me, for lo, Satan will have me stumble and will destroy my faith, but I trust in the Lord. I magnify Thee, Who art more holy than the Cherubim and the Seraphim.

Amen.

Guardian Angel Prayers for Protection

O Angel of God, my Holy Guardian, safeguard my life in the fear of Christ the God, set my mind on the right path, and strengthen my soul in the love of God. Guide me that I may receive a great mercy from Christ the God.

O Holy Angel, standing by my miserable soul and by my life affected by passions: Leave me not alone, nor depart from me because of my intemperance. Leave no chance to the crafty demon to get hold of me by overpowering this mortal flesh of mine. Strengthen my miserable and feeble hand, and set me upon the path of salvation. Yea, O Holy Angel of God, the guardian and protector of my miserable soul and body: Forgive me everything whereinsoever I have offended thee in all the days of my life; And if I have committed any sin during the last night, protect me during the coming day; And save me from every temptation of the adversary so that with no sin of mine should I incur the anger of God. Pray to God for me that He may fortify me in the fear of Him, and make me a servant worthy of His kindness.

Amen.

Prayers for yourself in sickness

O Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour, the Physician of our souls and bodies, Who didst become Man and suffer death on the Cross for our salvation, and through Thy tender love and compassion didst heal all manner of sickness and affliction: do Thou, O Lord, visit me in my suffering, and grant me grace and strength to bear this sickness with which I am afflicted, with Christian patience and submission to Thy will, trusting in Thy lovingkindness and tender mercy. Bless, I pray Thee, the means used for my recovery, and those who administer them. I know, O Lord, that I justly deserve any punishment Thou mayest inflict upon me, for I have so often offended Thee and sinned against Thee in thought, word, and deed. Therefore, I humbly pray to Thee, look upon my weakness, and deal not with me according to my sins, but according to the multitude of Thy mercies. Have compassion on me, and let mercy and justice meet; and deliver me from the sickness and suffering I am undergoing. Grant that my sickness may be the means of my true repentance and amendment of my life according to Thy will, that I may spend the rest of my days in Thy love and fear; that my soul, being helped by Thy grace and sanctified by Thy holy mysteries, may be prepared for its transition to the eternal life and there, in the company of Thy blessed saints, may praise and glorify Thee with Thy Eternal Father and Life-giving Spirit. Amen.

* * *

O Holy Father, heavenly Physician of the body and soul, Who hast sent Thine Only-begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, to heal ailments and deliver us from death; do Thou heal me, Thy servant, of all suffering, and restore me to health by the grace of Thy Divine Son, through the intercessions of our Most Holy Queen Ever-virgin Mary, the Mother of God, and all the saints. For Thou art the Fountain of all cure, O Lord, and we give thanks to Thee, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, now and forever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Prayers to Saint Dymphna

Good Saint Dymphna, great wonder-worker in every affliction of mind and body, I humbly implore your powerful intercession with Jesus through Mary, the Health of the Sick, in my present need. (Mention it.) Saint Dymphna, martyr of purity, patroness of those who suffer with nervous and mental afflictions, beloved child of Jesus and Mary, pray to Them for me and obtain my request.

(Pray one Our Father, one Hail Mary and one Glory Be.)

Saint Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us.

---

I turn to you, dear virgin and martyr, confident of your power with God and of your willingness to take my cause into your hands. I praise and bless the Lord for giving you to us as patron of the nervous and emotionally disturbed. I firmly hope that through your kind intercession He will restore my lost serenity and peace of mind. May He speak to my heart and reassure me: "My peace I give you. Let not your heart be troubled nor let it be afraid." Pray for me, dear St. Dymphna, that my nervous and emotional turmoil may cease, and that I may again know serenity and personal peace. Amen.

---

I appeal to you in my illness, dear St. Dymphna. I would be so grateful for a total and happy recovery, for the blessed gift of health in every fiber of my being. May the Lord Jesus, who mercifully healed the sick during His earthly days, have pity on me and make me well again. Ask Him to command sickness to depart and grant me a full measure of health, that I may rejoice in giving Him glory and praise. Amen.

---

Glorious St. Dymphna, you are the patron of the nervous and emotionally disturbed. I am certain, however, that your charity embraces everyone. I am certain that you lend a listening ear to any prayer offered for any special need. You will, I am sure, take my problem to heart and pray for me that it may be happily settled. (Here mention your special problem or difficulty.) You will plead for me and obtain the help I need. Already I offer you my sincere and grateful thanks, so great is my confidence that God will hear and answer your prayers. Amen. St. Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us. St. Dymphna, patron of nervous and emotional illnesses, pray for us. St. Dymphna, crowned for the glory in heaven, pray for us. St. Dymphna, faithful to your covenant with Christ, pray for us. St. Dymphna, precious in the eyes of the Lord, pray for us. St. Dymphna, our helper in every need, pray for us. St. Dymphna, our friend at heave's court, pray for us.

[viviennelamb]

Hey, hope you are well and congratulations on your book 🦋❤️👏 I just purchased a copy.

I remember when I first started reading your works in early 2023 and how impactful they were. Reading your work back then encouraged me to pick up some hobbies that really resonated with my soul in my pursuit of positive learning after having been feeling mentally drained by society’s depravity. With reading your work I let go of my last strand of sadness for the world and began my process of focusing on my individual self as a fragment of God. I began to see that I need to be my own beacon of light and cannot trust the world to bear any light. Your work on Karma has been particularly enlightening to read and it’s incredibly wonderful to see someone criticise lust and sex in a world where even “truth tellers” saturate their content with it. Whenever I read a book I always have to stay mindful that there may be some subconscious hetero dogma thrown in, so I’m going to be thrilled to read a book that is 1000% real. I honestly cannot wait to read this book.

I guess I had a sort of random offbeat question… have you ever come across the blogger known as Gnostic Alchemy/Rebel Nun? If so, what do you think of her thoughts? She’s practicing chastity and meditation but I still see remnants of sex-mindedness in her sometimes. I’d be curious to hear your opinion about some of the things she’s saying.

When writing a book, or anything really, the most important thing is to keep a few people you’re writing for in mind and you were one of the people I was thinking of, so this book is literally written for you. You will love it and it’s exactly what you’re expecting, but I hope it exceeds your expectations.

I’m so glad that I’ve impacted you so positively! 🥰😭

Yes, I’ve watched a few things from her when I was researching Gnosticism and the primary reason why I didn’t get past a few videos on YouTube was the heterosexuality worship and lust praising. Maybe she changed by now, but that was my impression of her about 2 years ago. It’s truly fascinating to see how many people believe they’re saying something new when they’re all promoters of sex and heterosexuality. I’ll go into this more in the q&a though.

Thank you for your ask!

[andromerot]

me if i was an enlightenment teen in the youtube music video of Gregorian Chant comments: im fourteen but i love this song... every one my age is talking about mozart and beethoven and whatever else my generation is into these days... theyre all superficial fads.... AGNUS DEI FOREVER 🤘

[mellimagicsblog]

A New Start

Title: "Eve" by me, 2023 / Re-use with credit to my username

I'm really excited to start sharing a passion that is hopefully going to start being a "side hustle" for me. I am applying for a dream job, and I want to not only have a collection of posts that reflect who I am and my love for social justice (I'll wear that SJW badge with honor) but I also want it to reflect my spiritual views.

I don't think I've really explained this, but I am a very active Unitarian Universalist and the job I hope to get is through the Unitarian Universalist Association of America. It's going to be competitive, but I don't want to give up on finding work through my faith. As such, I will be curating old posts to mostly be about our mission for spiritual faith through social justice and deleting old posts that don't reflect those values.

(For more information about the UUA, here's their website. It's a great resource for anyone interested in secular religious studies: link)

I also have an interest in Earth-centered religions, which are one of our Sacred Six Sources. While I have secular views about gods, I have been able to meditate transcendentally and see beyond the cynicism of the modern world to communicate with these divine archetypes. I know that Mother Earth wants us to see her as a person, and despite her life-giving power, she needs our help to keep the web of life alive for all of us.

It's time I start sharing pages of my grimoire (spell book), which is nearing completion after nearly 4 years of customizing spells and learning from different sources. It's also time to share my spell prompts and writing that I've been doing over the past year. Finally, I plan to publish a list of youtube channels, podcasts, and web resources for people interested in learning more and obtaining personal gnosis.

As a final aside, I have been really into learning about angelology and Semitic Neoaganism lately (wikipedia article). Asherah, the Shekinah, and the Sophia are all goddess figures of the Abrahamic faiths that I never knew growing up, and frankly I feel robbed never knowing them. I will definitely be posting more about them, but my above illustration of the enlightened mother Eve is very related to my personal gnosis.

Blessed be.

[endless-hourglass]

i love (/sarc) how there's so little safe space for CDD systems.

Tumblr? Syscourse left and right, and if you don't like it? Might as well leave because half the time it's not fucking tagged.

Twitter? I don't know whats it's like on there and I don't even think I want to!

Tiktok? So rabid with fakeclaiming and drama it's genuinely unsafe.

YouTube? Any system who dare to have a channel is someone you can't search up withing a "[channel] fake proof" autofill or pages or videos calling out their every flaw

IRL? HAH good fuckin LUCK.

???

Personal venting below the cut

Tiktok and YouTube are the examples that make us sick to our stomach the hardest. Amnesia makes it hard to assume but I'm pretty sure online system spaces played a huge part in our so called "system reset" (a period of all previously existing alters dissociating themselves and their identities into fuckall until we could accept ourself again). We didn't have any space to exist as a system irl, so what could we find online? Even with the more casual system yt channels, ones that made us feel safe and seen as someone who can just live life, there's a suffocating weight in trying to watch them as everywhere around you is people trying to shove proof in your face of everyone malingering. Truth is, I've hardly ever watched these proof videos because idk it's...clear that most of the time those videos aren't for the community, they're ammunition suppliers.

Maybe you decide "YouTube feels too detattched from the community, maybe something like tiktok would be more engaging." Bitch the only difference is that you feel more personally involved and people aren't always going game theory on their fakeclaiming. Instead there's weekly drama, "system red flag lists", a restraining fear of being posted to hateful cringe sites for literally anything, and AGAIN hurt and hate everywhere you fucking turn!

And I know maybe I should just "touch grass and interact with REAL systems if I want community so badly", but please enlighten me as to how I, a minor-bodied undiagnosed system, am supposed to effectively achieve that. Not to say it's impossible to have irl system friends, but I have none currently and no way to actively seek them out. I shouldn't be denied community for the crime of wanting it.

And I fear that this post will be met with someone telling me I'm too young for online system spaces. First off, you don't know my exact age, you honestly in the grand scheme of things don't know anything about me. Secondly, I do have a good understanding of online safety as far as I can tell. Thirdly, you think I don't think about that? In fucking system spaces you think I don't carefully evaluate my participation and inclusion and stuff? I'm practically forced to if I want to keep my wits about me! Fourthly, as I just fucking said, I shouldn't be denied community for the crime of wanting it.