#NEVER SEEN A BRAWL WITH OUT A BACK CANNON | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blankdblank · 4 years

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Next Caller

…

“Where the hell is he?”

“Tuesdays aren’t even that popular.”

“He should be happy for the slot after how he blew up on Jimmy last year.”

The comments rippled around the radio station and of course no one was paying any mind to the clock ticking down to the next segment needing to start and with the usual concoction for the arrogant star of the show threatening to just ditch his job for weeks now in hand just watching the clock. Finally having taken up on his threats and in the floundering network rumored to be up for sale soon by the owner you had worked as a glorified maid and assistant to the stuck up few stars on the long time running segments still holding strong.

Over the airways the sign off messages rang and between the exit of the former show’s cast you slipped straight to the empty seat. And mentally gave a ‘fuck it’ to the rules while the other headliners were off to their chosen lunches not willing to take up a second show deciding to let the old star just burn with the blank airtime. Out of everyone you were the oldest one here from the early days of this owner having taken hold of it and even with countless ideas used on air you still hadn’t been given the shot you were promised by said owner for a show of your own.

To the shock of the redhead behind the glass manning the helm of the show now grinning as you eased the headphones in your ears and lowered the mic to a better height and started to speak at her finger wave that you were on proven by the lit up bulb outside your soundproof door. “Hey hey hey, welcome to another blustery day out here in the Misty Mountains and it’s just you and me your dear friend Bunny, devoted with my ear to the ground here to give you all the latest on those lovable Durin boys of ours.” With a tick of the redhead’s brow at the name of the first Dwarf to be woken’s line still thriving today with a great number of sons to carry it on with a heaping amount of funds to boast about if they so wished with their various empires. “And of course all of this coming from the dearest and loveliest of Countesses, Beatrice of the nightshade persuasion on line one now ready to pick up where we left off yesterday.”

The redhead shook her head and you did the same in return lifting a finger tapping a couple buttons on the laptop on the desk now turned to a game of spider solitaire you started a new game on. “Hello Sweetheart, how are you?”

All at once your voice dropped to a deeper tone with a thick Khuzdul accent, “Fine as marble, Darling. Fine as marble. Now,” the redhead smirked as you stole a glance at your open notebook and leaned back in your seat to start playing your game, “Darling, as I left off yesterday, on the eve of the noontide solstice that bastard, I can say bastard, Darling?”

Your voice switched back, “Of course you can.”

A husky exhale sounding of a puff of smoke from a pipe came as the Countess spoke again, “When that bastard Wolsey left me at the alter. Now I was just a young thing but it did so scuff my little whiskered heart when we were seven. Though I suppose it was quite telling of future events to come if you believe in omens and such finicky things. Barely to twenty five years later and I hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the little flake of a boy then out of nowhere I’m halfway to my social economics course in secondary courses and out of nowhere this husk of a menace trying to sneak into some upper classroom on a winding oak branch just plummeted straight in front of my path.” Another husky exhale laced with a deep wry chuckle came after a flitting giggle from you and she continued as the redhead leaned back in her chair folding her fingers in front of her lips to hide her creeping grin.

“Had the nerve to bloody the path in front of my new kitten pumps then gets up, broken nose and all and splatters out cockily, ‘Fancy that, my falling at the feet of an angel.’”

“I think it’s sweet,” You replied in your own giggling voice.

To which she replied, “If you enjoy blood stains on your stocking Darling his sort of fella is the kind for you. No doubt every proclamation of love ended with his blood splattered over me.”

“Mum always said no ounce of love without an ounce of blood.”

“Darling,” Again she chuckled I a husky plume of smoke, “Then I had love by the gallon. Oh it was dreadful at first. Strangers, with one pining away hopelessly without thought of a chance. And then suddenly a year had passed and we were looking down the cannon of romance.”

From a first date all the way to an obscure flirtation that ended in a near brawl you faked a bathroom break for the Countess granting you the hourly adds you had to run through before she could pick up her story again after you had rushed to relieve yourself and race back again. Two hours in and you could see the assistant of the owner dropping by to stare on with a curious smirk of his own at the supposed mastermind behind the voice tripling listeners by the bustling social media outlets blowing up about the supposed Durin lover telling all. Then by the end of the fourth hour the seeming world listening in had mouths watering and groans echoing as you signed off bidding dear Beatrice farewell for the day she gladly returned before you named the station and final sponsor and left your seat to the next set.

Out in the hall with your helmsman Mal, the crimson haired green eyed Dwobbit who chuckled and blushed her way through the whole show asking, “Where the hell did that come from?”

Shaking your head you smoothed your fingers through your waist length forest green curls with your white blonde roots showing marking a need for a touch up soon, brushing them back behind your pointed ears only for them to fall back into your face, “I just, nobody was going to jump on and it would have been dead air.”

Mal chortled flashing you her phone showing you the still growing feed with questions about Bunny and Beatrice. After a dig in your pocket you brought up on your own phone sending off a comment into the feed from a dummy email linking to the social page you had for your Bunny persona that had snippets of conversations with Beatrice and other so far unnamed characters in the story yet to come. More and more notices racked up and at least if nothing else came of this you might have some interest in the book series this story was based on you were off home to keep writing after Mal’s guiding walk down to your cars in the parking garage where you exited the door on foot from a safer exit than the front entrance. ‘Imaginary friend’, that was the job title Bunny held and between the shifts at the five star motel you worked in as a maid you had gotten well into your seventh book of what seemed to be the series never to be published.

Two hours, that was all you had. And passing the coffee shop you normally used packed to the hilt as all the stars of the radio shows on the block seemed to flood there between shows you passed it scouring for any signs of take out cups close to something able to help you through your long shift lasting past midnight.

Cups, check. Five people left the tiny corner shop that you trotted into trying not to feel out of place in a near sheer tank top and worn ink stained jeans with a flannel shirt around your hips in deep green matching your hair, nails and converse. A set of bills from your coffee fund jar folded in your fingers and tilted in your stance the blue eyed serious Dwarves behind the counter seemed to stare at you in the discerning gaze scanning over the large menu. Three people were in front of you and by the time you reached the register you weren’t sure what language it was even in, legibly scrawled out in Khuzdul runes with Hobbitish translations under it and it all still flew over your head.

The fact was painfully obvious for the trio of chiseled men behind the counter, the one with the messy bun in front of you especially as his furrowed gaze landed on you as he rumbled at you, “What can I get you?”

“Um, Surprise me. Just no lavender.” That made his eyes narrow even more for a moment then he turned his gaze to the register and accepted the bills you passed him.

“Name?”

“Pear,” that had his head tilt slightly and you accepted your change stating, “Like the fruit. Cheers.” You said turning to glance over the seats and sigh walking to the far too tall table with a stool seat you practically had to hop up onto as it was clear to half a foot over your hip.

Crossing your ankles your heels rested on the foot pegs and you set down your notebook and opened it. Pulling your unnoticed pen from behind your wall of colored curls you flipped over to one side granting the trio a glimpse of the Elf ears on the Hobbit sized woman clearly granting Thorin his guinea pig for his new tea drink he had made. This quaint little shop, half herb shop run by Balin, with Dwalin teaming up with brother and cousin in both herb and tea shop ends now down a server due to a babysitter fumble bringing Thorin here to fill in himself.

The more he got into the mixture his grin eased out in anticipation wondering just what your life was to fill in the history of his new favored person. One large green mug later his eyes were on you again. Eagerly taking up the delivery of said drink granting him a chance to steal a glimpse at the notebook now coated in a doodle of his cousin Balin grinning as he spoke to his tiny herb sprouts lining them up on their shelves with tiny hearts all around him in your loss for what to write. “That’s good, draw for a living?”

Shaking your head you replied, “Nope. Don’t really make a living.”

His brow inched up and he named his mixture you slid closer to you and snapped a picture of the floating design on the top of it, setting your phone down you lifted the mug stirring a curious twitch of the corner of is lips, “How does that work exactly?” His eyes focusing on your expression as you took a testing sip.

Lowering the cup you said, “I can work up to 16 hours a day, every day, I can afford two meals and a coffee, well, today tea. No car, barely enough for rent in the only town I wasn’t black listed from renting in relatively close to affordable.”

“Black listed?” He muttered in confusion.

“My father has, a reputation, and a lot of enemies, though thankfully a lot of Dwarves don’t give a damn as long as you’re willing to break your knuckles to earn your footing.”

Without pause he asked, “Do you need a job?”

At that you chortled and said lowering your mug from another sip, “Sorry, I have two. I doubt I could work here, it is best I don’t work around heat sources when I’m tired, which I would be. Not that I wouldn’t jump at the chance to find out the spectacular truth behind all those coffee and tea shop fantasies everyone writes about. If I do get fired though, which could be a possibility after the stunt I pulled today, I will definitely take you up on that.”

In a sharp exhale he eyed the mug then pulled a card from his pocket and the pen from his apron pocket he wrote something down on the back of the card he then slid closer to you. “I’ll cut you a deal, every day you post a review on my drink choices I’ll pay you 20 bucks.”

Playfully you quipped, “I can barely feed myself what am I going to do with deer at my place?” Deepening his smirk in the extension of his hand, “You got yourself a deal there my personal Mug Dealer.”

“Mug dealer?” He rumbled back. “People hear that and they might assume something.”

“Ooh, like what? You might be the Mafioso of mugs? King pin of peppermint owns this block, beware.”

He rolled his eyes, “I have to get back, just pass on your username when we take your mug, Nickname Queen.”

Again you mumbled, “Closer to the other end of the Cinderella Spectrum there Mug Dealer.”

In a glance back he purred, “Thorin.”

You nodded lifting your phone finding their page saying as Dwalin passed bringing another their choice, “Got my early morning fix at the Arkenstone. Only thing tighter than the perfect zing of the X special was server Thorin’s shirt.” A snorting laugh came from Dwalin on his way back while Thorin turned to you with prickling cheeks and you mumbled, “Draft number one, I’ll get it right. Catchy and alluring for others comin’ up.”

The cousins muttered to one another and you lingered around finishing your mug and taking notes in your notebook until your notice of the time had you approached the counter and with a playful glint in his eyes Thorin offered a bill asking, “What’d you come up with?”

“MugMafioso, my new account for this. Don’t worry, kept my thoughts on your clothes to myself.” He insisted on handing you the bill as Dwalin chuckled seeing your self drawn icon of a rabbit in a pinstripe suit behind a desk holding a smoking tea pot. “Have fun, off to work. Thanks again.”

His eyes followed you in your trot out the door then looked down at the review under the picture stirring up a few notifications at first steadily growing in the next half hour until the first person came in flashing the message asking about the special adding more reviews of their own.

Black with deep green lacy accents the uniform dress waited for you in your locker and easily you changed into the dress and left your tolerated green converse on then wound your hair up with a pair of wing decorated hair pins joined by strands of beads. Room to room you cleaned your way through the top floors carefully detailing each of the suites and invisible woman-ing your way through the celebrities. A trait you had been picked up on at an encounter with a naked soap opera star lost and drunk in the elevator you helped back into his room and managed to avert the press who had been called by his now ex who had locked him out and left the hotel promoting you to the ranks of the trusted in the elite floors. Still a part time assistant when around the most demanding celebs who never left their room you managed through at a higher wage that had freed you from your third job.

Findis, the simple name stating which clan owned the internationally known hotel chain you were employed by. Only flashes of the woman married to the man set to take over within the next decade was your glimpse of anyone not bearing the Findis golden hair. A raven haired heavily side burned Dam with piercing blue eyes who seemed to pass by you like you were nothing more than air. Not intentionally or worse than others, just too busy to bother with anyone else most days in holding her own role until her latest surprise pregnancy would take her out of work for a time.

Nothing out of the ordinary really happened yet when you had punched out you turned your phone back on mid hour long subway ride and saw the notice from the radio show that your show slot was being picked up on a trial basis and you were needed in the office in a few hours to sign the paperwork.

In a plop you had finally collapsed onto your bed in your so called apartment of a closet loft to rummage up as much sleep as possible until you were forced to wake up again. A handshake or a pat on the head would have been less of a brush off than you had gotten. No compliments, merely a sighing exchange from the aid in charge of securing the documents who gave you the schedule for the three day a week job coming with a stunning five grand raise a week over your barely two grand a month job. The new check such a scoff worthy amount to the former star barely a fifth of his former check you could live months off of just one of them. It was a big change but you weren’t going to change, your finances wouldn’t change and every single cent over your usual amount would be set aside in your lint trap of a savings account for some sort of umbrella or parachute in the future.

Noon however again had you back in the same tea shop finding the dame mohawked man stepped forward asking, “Up for another experiment?”

You nodded, “Just no lavender.” Passing him the bill on your way to your same table you settled at and noticed Thorin coming out of the back room at Dwalin’s call drawing his eye right to you. It didn’t take long and signing into your MugMafioso account now with a handful of followers for your singular posting soon to be two as Thorin brought over a second testing mug he set down asking, “Any news on that need for a job application?”

“Um, I actually got a new project at work. They don’t really have much faith in how I’ll pull it off though. So I’ll keep you posted there my trusty Mug Dealer.”

Again he smirked rolling his eyes stepping back, “Enjoy your tea.”

“Yes, sir,” you replied to his back making him shake his head again on his walk back to the counter as you snapped a picture of the drink you sipped on while Dwalin tried to nudge Thorin back to talk to you some more. The pattern was starting to build and with your mug returned another trading of smirks came on your way back to the hotel trying to mentally prep the outline for your next day on air.

* Mal x Fili/Kili *

There was no secret that Thorin had blushed, a stolen picture of it by Balin had cemented the fact and his aid to a Damsel on the verge of Distress was shared as well. The elder Durins rarely dipped their toes in romance and while Frerin was off chasing his racing dreams Dwalin was the closest after Dis to have found a possible life partner.

Two years the tattoo parlor across the street had drawn his eye, more for the tree sleeve coated Hobbit heading The Acorn dubbed shop. A first timid drop in to get a ladybug on the side of one of his fingers to excuse his out of nowhere stop into the shop was the start of a line of them eventually across his wrist forming the rune of his niece’s name. From there an ‘accidentally’ left discount card on a promotion had the curious Hobbit dropping by himself hooking him as well into a well excused path to see more of the burly guy sharing the same magnetic pull he felt.

Three months they had been living together now and with that came the try to mingle family lines. A troublesome task as Bilbo now had custody of his Nephew Frodo just barely three years old expanding their own mini family. The daughter of his cousin however upon their buying a home together had taken up his old flat above the shop and helped to pay the rent by working part time in the shop on the paperwork and temporary image printing to ease the work of the tattoo crew between shifts at a radio station. Among her tasks was to change the artwork on the sign out front and while the shop was closed down allowing Bilbo and Dwalin a brunch with family she wobbled her way onto the rickety ladder to lower the locking hook for the sign.

“Damn, rickety-, why do we-,” A sharp gasp came and on a stop to pick up a special drink for his mother Fili trolled in front of Kili now on his phone double checking the schedule to get back onto the racing schedule with Frerin later this evening as part of his pit crew.

Quicker then he’d thought possible he’d caught the Dwobbit now with cheeks redder than her hair and green eyes, even in their frightened gaze over the pair they were stunning and once down a fumble for her name had the pair grinning and flashing their dimples at her only worsening the struggle. A shout from Dwalin had them glancing down the street and Kili offering her his phone, “We have to go, and sadly won’t be back in town till Friday, but can we have your number?”

‘Su-, sure,” she stammered out and punched in her number passing it back, “Oh, I don’t know your names.”

That had the pair smirking at the hopefully honestly clueless woman, “Fili and Kili, at your service. We’ll text you later, My Lady.” Trotting off as she nodded again and sighed turning inside to bring out the new poster for the sign she opened to pull the old one out then up again she wobbled and managed to secure the sign up again then head inside to give the shop a good clean readying for the afternoon shift coming in later.

Sighing heavily Fili plopped into the chair beside Kili making Dwalin day, “We all got plans for after this boys. Shouldn’t take long.”

Fili sighed out again, “Not like we can do anything anyways we’re off for a race and won’t be able to see her a whole week..”

Frerin’s head cocked with interest at the latest swooning Durins, “Her who?” Slightly uncertain how the pining would effect the pit crew if they were to lose their focus at the race.

In a dreamy sigh Kili propped his chin in his palms laying all his weight on the table in front of him with Fili leaning against the arm of his chair closer to his brother, “Mal.”

Dwalin nodded, “Uh huh, and what does this Mal do?”

The pair shrugged and the younger brother blew a string of his chocolate curls from his face that had swung free of his small bun, “She was hanging a sign at the tattoo shop across from the tea shop.”

Dwalin’s lips pursed, “Hmm,” fighting not to blush in saying as plainly as he could, “Must be Bilbo’s cousin’s girl. Took up the flat over the shop from us.”

That perked the boys up and Fili said, “Yes!”

Kili, “You could talk us up while we’re gone!”

Dwalin hummed out, “Doesn’t work all the time though. Just a part time gig by what I could tell. I missed that convo while Frodo was loose in the garden.”

Frerin smirked glancing at Thorin who sat down and gruffly said to his clean shaven brother as his short beard seemed to bristle in his wordless show he was ready to defend himself, “Don’t.”

Frerin smirked, “I didn’t say a thing!”

Thorin reaches out grabbing one of the bottles of juice on the table, “Don’t.”

Dwalin, “That’s right Rin, Thorin isn’t swooning.”

Thorin muttered lifting his bottle to his lips, “Exactly.”

Vili smirked saying, “Absolutely not, all business with the MugMafioso.”

Trying not to chuckle as Dis entered and took her seat, asking herself in a smoothing of her hand over her blouse after undoing her coat jacket while sitting, “How did you manage to gain this new following again, Thorin?”

Thorin lowered his bottle and sent a half hearted glare at Balin who smirked in saying, “He’s become a mug dealer.”

Thorin grumbled as Dwalin chuckled saying, “Pretty successful one too to have caught a partnership with the Mug Mafia.” The table chuckled and Dwalin patted his cousin’s shoulder, “Oh come on, fine, fine. Cute Lass walks in saying ‘surprise me’ to Thorin when they got stumped on the menu. Bit of flirting,” Dwalin lifted a finger silencing Thorin in his mouth opening to talk, “On her part, and he finds out she’s had a bad day at work. Said she might get fired so he offers her a job if she does get fired, then says he’ll pay her a 20 for every review she posts to the social page. She made a new account and it kicks off.”

Thorin, “She has two jobs no car and needed a hand, nothing romantic.”

Balin coughed out, “Lies.” Then shook his head in a glance at Thorin who glared at him again, “Allergies.” Taking a bottle himself then coughed again, “Smitten.” And took a big swing of the bottle he opened smirking as he did while the others chuckled and Thorin smoothed a hand over his face and settled back in his chair while their parents and grandparents came in.

Beside them Bofur and Bifur both sat down to the left of Thror across from their matriarch Niro, the latter who looked at her husband in his saying, “It goes without saying we’ve heard about the radio show yesterday.” At the boys’ brows inching up he added, “At least most of us. Now it doesn’t seem to be factual, though a great deal of the details are stunningly accurate. Bofur, have you found anything?”

He nodded and said, “Aye, well this ‘Bunny’ who was talking with the ‘Countess Beatrice’ didn’t seem to work at the station or any other before yesterday. The slot was for that Belby guy, but he didn’t show up so it seems it was a last minute fill in, even if it made it seem like it was continuing a former interview.”

Niro, “That’s it?”

Bifur raised a finger, “Ma’am if I may, from what I was able to find, I did locate a similar draft for a novel someone by the pen name Bunny tried to have picked up a few years ago that has been gathering dust after being circulated around. It has a few rough details of the same story.”

Diaa, “So it’s a story then?”

Bofur said, “It seems the Belby guy left without notice, just didn’t show up. Must have been a last minute add to test how it would go. Certainly had plenty of time to tweak the story and dig for history on our clan.”

Bifur, “With the draft there was a notice there was approval from Gorgo years before on the idea to use the Durin name for the copyright issues. We dug up the notes on what plot points were listed to be included and it does seem like a mellow-drama with a seedy crime edge bubbling up later on in the series. Which it was meant to be a series.”

Dis’ brows furrowed, “Why wasn’t it picked up then?”

Bofur shrugged, “Just a handwritten note on the cover ‘Shelve’ nothing else. Looks like someone doesn’t like Bunny, Gorgo had been clocked as reviewing this case biweekly for any updates. It is quite addictive. Clearly as everyone has found out.”

Bifur nodded, “I read it three times. Pretty good.”

Thror nodded then said, “One thing to do then. Send it to Dain, see what deal we can work out with this Bunny.” He couldn’t help but smirk adding, “Get Gorgo her book. No wonder she’s been so book crazed these last years.” Thinking back to her eagerness to scour the incoming author lists for drafts in their family publishing firm they had started in their youth now the largest Dwarven publishing firm around.

Bofur glanced at his brother in a silent debate on who would share the worse news making Niro ask, “What else aren’t you saying?”

Bifur cleared his throat and said, “Well, um, you see, I pulled the file on the author,”

She nodded and Thror asked, “And?”

Bifur continued, “Someone used white out all over the only hard copy and erased it from the system.”

That made the Durins collectively huff and Thrain said, “Dain can muscle it out. Someone’s bound to remember. Worst comes to worst we’ll send Gorgo after them. Not even Gloin could pull her off them if he wanted to.”

Dis, “If need be we could always contact the actors on the radio show and see who their source is and work that angle.” Earning agreeing nods stirring up the next few issues and family announcements of schedules before they split up to head back to their normal routines.

Pt 2

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @here2have-fun, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @imjusthereforthereads, @c-s-stars, @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore, @mariannetora, @shesakillerkween

Hobbit/LotR – @abiwim, @jotink78, @pastelhexmaniac

#Thorin x Reader OC #Dwalin x Bilbo #Fili/Kili x OC Mal

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roseydeloom · 4 years

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Gremlin Izuku

Ok so this is a continuation of this post that @lovelyflowerlov and I are working on. It started as a shitpost and now we’re here and living our best lives. I’m making this separate just because the other is getting too long to scroll through. Click the link for context on the AU

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Before some more Battle Trial stuff (which I will get to later) I thought about what exactly Izuku’s quirk and appearance is.

Quirk

Possible Quirk names: Gremlin, Unhinged, Energize

Because we’re having Izuku be a Gremlin Boi™ and thus have, in the words of flower, “Teeth that are even more sharp than a shark, Amazing Bouncy Skills™, never ending enthusiasm, a night owl, and Bastard™ Energy” I say that his quirk is the ability to inhibit the body’s inborn limiters. You know, the things that make it so you don’t tear your muscles from bones everytime you use them. A common example being how your jaw is strong enough to bite off your finger, but your brain prevents you. Mainly basing this off hysterical strength and this video. Izuku can consciously turn this limiter off, both on himself and others. He could chomp his fingers like carrots if he wanted to. But it’s not just muscle limiters

You know that little voice in your head that tells you not to do or say stuff? The social conventions you know to follow, and thus what to do or say? The things that limit your actions? Ya, Izuku’s quirk prevented him from getting that. Though he does kinda have the opposite of it, explained later. He has to actively think about what he can and can’t do in a situation, and sometimes he just forgets or doesn’t understand that there are unspoken “rules” he needs to follow or behaviors he shouldn’t express. When activated on another person, they no longer feel pressured to act a specific way. His quirk also encourages reckless behavior; acting without care for possible harm to self. Izuku has grown up with this urge so he has learned how to fight it off, and actually has remarkable self control to not do 90% of the stuff his quirk tells him to. Not so much the case for people who have this pushed onto them for the first time. Kinda like Trigger and making people act differentenly :)

Example: during the Entrance Exam when he saw Uraraka trapped under gravel and the 0 pointer coming closer, his first instinct was to destroy the robot. To him, the rubble wasn’t the immediate threat and instead the robot that was walking towards her was. Shinsou was the one to convince him to try getting the debris off her first, and go from there. Only after that failed did Shinsou let Izuku enact his insane plan of eating the 0 pointer’s wires (which Izuku then teased Shinsou with the fact it worked and we should have just done that first, Hitoshi)

Because he can use all his muscles whenever he desires, his body naturally has a higher glucose stockpile than normal people to make up for the fact he will use more ATP working a higher volume of muscles (since muscle contractions use energy and glucose is the first energy storage the body burns through). However, he also needs to burn through that energy or else he risks damaging his nerves because of too much glucose in the blood (reason for nerve damage in diabetic people). Thus, he naturally has a higher energy level than other people so he jumps jumps jumps, has never ending enthusiasm, and always likes to be doing stuff. Tapping his foot, twirling his pencil, humming, analysising and writing in his notebook. This does infact burn his energy; mental fatigue is a thing my dudes. This also makes it so he loves to cause chaos, mischief, create pranks, and generally be a little nuisance, since it requires careful planning and energy running around to set it up, but that’s mainly just him being a little Bastard™

Appearance

So I definitely like the idea of him having sharp teeth and being shorter than cannon. I also think this boy would have BIG BONES to make up for the extra stress his quirk puts on them when his muscles are used. This translates into Izuku being a bit more on the chunky side, along with the natural ability to grow big muscles as, once again, a defense mechanism against his quirk. Sum up: he’s that dude that has always been on the bigger side and won’t get stick thin no matter how hard he tries, but when he flexes his arms turn into pure muscle and he can jump over your head from a standing jump. So basically chubby bulky

[Sources: 1 and 2, 3. These images are close to what I’m thinking]

Also I thing he would be darker skinned since he runs around outside in the sun constantly to burn off energy, so he got at least a tan from all that

Quirk Apprehension Test

So once Flower mentioned that we totally just forgot about this part of the plot, I proceeded to laugh for like 5 minutes over the fact we did. I totally forgot this existed until you mentioned it. My idea is as follows

Aizawa: This test is to gauge your abilities, quirks, and potential to be a hero. You are to use your quirks during the test to increase your scores

Some idiot: This sounds fun! We get to use quirks!

Aizawa: Fun? How about this: whoever comes last gets expelled

Class: *shouting*

Shinsou: *worried because his quirk doesn’t help him physically*

Izuku, manic grin spreading across face and turns to Shinsou: *whispers* I have an idea. I’ll use my quirk to help both our scores

They then proceed to complete the test with Shinsou getting better scores than he should be able to get. Aizawa knows this since, while he doesn’t read the entire file on students so he can form his own opinions, he does look over the basic info of name, photo, and quirk name/description. Shinsou shouldn’t be doing this well, and he also acts differently once it’s his turn to preform. Aizawa sees Shinsou and Izuku being more comfortable with one another than they would be if they just met, and in addition to the fact they were together during the Entrance Exam, he guesses that they’re friends and Izuku is using his quirk to bost Shinsou. During Shinsou’s turn for the ball toss, Aizawa cancels Izuku’s quirk so Shinsou no longer receive its effects and throws the ball a lot shorter than everyone expected

Aizawa, glaring at Izuku: I knew it. You’re using your quirk to help your friend

Izuku, turning and smirking: And? What about it?

Aizawa: I could expel you both right now for cheating and interfering with results of a test

Shinsou: *face deadpan but shitting his pants, hoping Izuku will weasel their way out of this*

Izuku, gremlin smirk forming: No you won’t, Eraserhead. If you were doing this test you would have used your quirk to cancel your clasmates’ quirks to put you on a even playing field. I’m doing the exact opposite and helping. Plus, you only said “use your quirks during the test to increase your scores.” You didn’t forbid using our quirks to affect other people’s scores, nor saying we could only increase our own score.

Aizawa, cheshire grin: So you are related to your brother. Alright. Shinsou, throw the ball again and Midoriya, you can use your quirk

Shinsou, thinking: how is always able to pull us out of repercussions for our actions?

Battel Trial

Finally back to what this whole things should have been about! Jeez that took forever and I’m starting to get sleepy typing

Based on the pros and cons you gave and also what amusing me the most because I’ve writing this for 5 hours is that the Villains (Shinsou and Uraraka) should win.

Once Izuku gets over the fact he’s having to battle his basically second brother, Shinsou calms him down and tells him it’s fine, just pretend we’re sparing with Tenko again, he gets pumped af to brawl. Maybe a little too hyped up, since it makes his energy levels twice the ridiculous amount they were before and makes him even more jumpy and animated. Iida interprets this as him not taking things seriously and chastises him for it, which pisses Izuku off because he is taking it seriously. It’s just not being expressed in the way Iida expects it to be expressed. So, he’s definitely not as helpful to him as he could be while in the planning phase, and might have made things a bit harder than they needed to be when explaining the blueprint, just to annoy him.

Shinsou and Uraraka don’t have this problem and quickly come up with the idea to put the bomb on the roof. This is so Uraraka can use her quirk to send things high into the sky with only her nausea as the limit instead of the ceiling, and they’ll bring some more ruble and boxes up there too so she has ammo. She’ll try to stay as quiet as she can to guard and hide the bomb while Shinsou is a few levels below to make the heros think the bomb is there.

A trick they have up their sleeves is that Uraraka noticed that the blueprints had really weird airducts (something only she would notice because it’s so minor) and when they went to check it out, the airducts were actually tunnels disguised as airducts. So now the villains have a way of getting around that the heros don’t, and won’t be seen. With Uraraka directing him from the blueprints, Shinsou has his own private hallways! He can definitely use this in combination with his voice changer :)

I’m not too sure how the fight would go down, but some parts I think would happen is Shinsou trolling them from inside the tunnel with his voice changer. I don’t think he would spring the mind control on him just yet, Izuku taught him to have Fun™ afterall, and would switch between Inko’s and Tenko’a voices while messing with him. I just want my baby to create some psychological torture ok Another thing would be them finding the bomb on the roof and when Izuku’s about to grab it, that’s when Shinsou uses his mind control with AFO’s voice. I’m guessing they had some family videos with him in it so that’s how we knew what his voice sounded like.

Like you said when Izuku got controlled he was in a jump so when he fell he breaks out, but at that point Uraraka had moved the bomb and Shinsou is dealing with Iida. They’re running out of time so Iida and Izuku are starting to become a little desperate, so Iida yells at Izuku to use his quirk on him to make him extra fast so he can grab the bomb. He does, but Iida doesn’t expect it to be so powerful since the other times in the exercise Izuku used it on him he was holding back. Iida becomes a knockoff Sonic and shoot towards the bomb way faster than he expected. He didn’t expect to go the speed of Retro Burst without trying, so he overshoots it and ends up falling off the ledge near Izuku. He’s able to catch himself on the roof, but he’s not able to pull himself up without help and he’s starting to slip. Izuku has to pick between the bomb and Iida, and he decides to save Iida. While pulling him back up the timer goes off and the villains win.

Iida thanks him for saving him while Izuku just kinda goes “Duh, I wasn’t gonna let you get badly hurt if I could stop it. Annoy and inconvenience maybe, but not hurt. Of course I picked you. Anyways gotta go bug Hitoshi”

Just because Izuku is a dramatic bitch, while they’re walking back Izuku jumps unto Shinsou’s back and starts rambling to Uraraka and Shinsou about how cool their plan was, asking about the voices in the hallway and Shinsou’s new mask, clarifying some parts of their plan he didn’t get, and just generally being very animated and his talkative, analyzing self. Iida starts to think that maybe he was too quick to judge the green bean

#bnha #midoriya izuku #gremlin izuku #my writing #gremlin izuku au #look i just finished a 8 hour shift that was HELLA slow #so i probably had like 6 hours of doing nothing but messing around in my head #and i decided to play with this au for 6 fucking hours #so I got Ideas™#also I think for the mental part of the quirk I might have just made him autistic #i realized that while writing that ‘wait this is basically the situation for neurodivergent people in respect to social expectations’#so his quirk might just be ‘Socially Accepted Neurodivergent but with benefits’#if anyone has a problem with this tell me and I’ll gladly change the specifics #don’t wanna hurt anyone or spread false info #also I know that this has the tone of speaker to the reader instead of talking to you Flower #i blame the fact that this is the first part of the new log and the content made me go into Academic Essay mode #I’ll go back to talking to you in the post in the next part #also the entire 8 hours I was at work I kept going back and forth on who should win becauss they both have nice consquences #eventually I just went ‘fuck it’ and picked Shinsou since that adds some nice Angst of him winning as a villain #and the heros infighting biting them in the butt #also I do want them to be better friends down the line (Iida and Izuku)#but right now their body languages clash and they don’t understand eachother so they do as teens do #and fight amongst themselves because of miscommunication and lashing out against things they don’t understand #the more i write about this Izuku I realize I *definitely* made him have something like quirk induced high functioning autisum or similar #neurodivergent characters!!!!!#am i including the things I want to see in media in this Izuku?#why yes i am #once again add anything you can think of! This was the result of me having nothing else to think about for hours on end #also what exactly is the relationship between shinsou and izuku?#is shinsou another adopted brother? friend that hangs out with them more than his own family?

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piperdelaprim · 5 years

Text

Penny Headcanons!

Penny is my favorite gal EVER !! Sis gets no headcanon content and she deserves more. I see so much potential in her character just from her design and !!! she just needs to be appreciated !! ok !! let's begin!!

This headcanon follows a 15/16-year-old Penny and her life before brawling and running away to Brawl Town!

• In this hc, Penny is an extended family member of the Junkers, her mother is sisters with Pam, so Penny has a different last name. Pam hadn't spoken to her sister in ages as well, and her sister has no clue that she and her niece Jessie were brawling.

• Penny hasn't always lived in Brawl Town. She used to live in an urban city, but she knew of the adventures Brawl Town had to offer for her.

• Penny had always been the adventurous and rebellious type. She originally had red hair, like Pam and Jessie's, but by the time she turned 15, she dyed it pink, even though her family didn't allow her to dye her hair at all.

• She didnt like the urban lifestyle. Penny had always wanted to stand out and be brave, and in an urban city, it's really challenging to do something like such.

• Her parents had never treated her as fairly as her other siblings, because she was the only girl amongst the siblings. She was always restricted to go out, have fun with her friends, and do cool things like the rest of her brothers got to do.

• Her parents never vocalized why they restricted her so much, it was ultimately because they thought their only girl should be protected. But because they never explained that to her, Penny inevitably saw this as her death sentence.

• She snuck out in the middle of the night a lot to go to convenience stores alone, and to explore the rest of the world---alone.

• Ironically though, she doesn't like doing things like drugs, alcohol and sex and everything in between that. She understands that people who do things like that want to grow up too fast, and that's not what she wanted.

• During her night time adventures, she basically just screwed around and had fun with herself.

• She did try drinking alcohol once though, she said it tasted like shit and wondered why everyone wanted to drink it so badly. She also tried weed and said it feels good, but it just "wasn't her style" to do drugs like that.

• She was always alone because she didn't want to have friends. All her friends at school didn't like her that much, and made fun of her for being too much of a straightedge. She found solitude in her adventures, but she was happy with it.

• She dreamed of brawling in Brawl Town. She wanted to fight for fun and take out her anger in that way.

• She is very talented at STEM in school, but her grades stated otherwise. She never bothered to do her work and turn anything in, but she was extremely knowledgeable in math, engineering, and science, but because she prefers to keep that detail on the downlow, nobody really knew. But one day, during her junior year of high school, she created a draft for her iconic cannon.

• The draft for her cannon started a fire inside her. This time, she wanted to brawl more than ever--and in the middle of the night, she gathered her lifetime savings and all her belongings into one tiny suitcase, and left her home through the window.

• With enough buses, she finally found herself in Brawl Town, about 6 hours after she left home.

• She didn't have a place to stay, but she found Barley's bar, and found herself walking inside it.

• Barley recited his iconic line when she walked in: "New customers!"

• Barley asked how old she was, because he knew that he would be responsible if a minor were to purchase drinks and got themselves in a situation. It's basically an anarchy in Brawl Town, so the age to buy drinks doesn't really matter.

• Penny said that it didn't matter because she hated alcohol anyway, but she told Barley that she's a new arrival and that she just needed a place to chill for a bit. Barley offered to have her sit down at the bar so they can talk.

• Barley listened to Penny's story, and was fascinated by her talent in STEM. He jokingly said: "I was made by a crazy scientist too!" He's referring to Dynamike.

• At the bar, Penny also ran into Darryl, who she thought was super chill and friendly, despite his appearance. Darryl hardly talked, but Penny appreciated how great of a listener he was.

• Barley offered to have her cannon built by Dynamike, and sent her over to his place.

• Dynamike built her cannon for free, and felt sympathetic toward Penny's story.

• Penny had no idea where her aunt and cousin were, so she asked him if he knew about their whereabouts, Dynamike didn't exactly know where, but he told her to catch Jessie brawling, she does it all the time.

• When Penny left Dynamike's she still had nowhere to stay, and it was getting dark out. Outside of his place, however, she found Jessie tweaking her turret. Penny decided to approach her, but she didn't recognize that it was her cousin--she hadn't seen her since a forever ago.

• Penny slowly approached her and greeted her with a very small "hi". Jessie stopped what she was doing and looked up at her. Jessie greeted her back, but looked at her in awe, as she recognized her face.

• "Penny?", she asked. Penny was very shocked as she thought she had never seen this person before. Penny then confusingly asks: "Yeah? Do we know eachother?"

• "Yes! Of course! You're my cousin, right?" and at this moment it struck Penny, it was her cousin, Jessie, who she hadn't seen since she was 7 years old.

• Jessie was very happy to see her at Brawl Town, since the only family she knew was her brother and her mom. She complimented her hair and said "You look great in pink!"

• When Penny explained that she had nowhere to stay, Jessie insisted heavily that she stays at their place, but Penny told Jessie that she was hesitant since she was worried that Pam would tell her mother about her whereabouts.

• Jessie explained that Pam and Penny's mom haven't spoken in 10 years for a large amount of reasons (headcanon on this coming soon), and wanted her to stay because she always wanted a big sister.

• Penny took that offer and was introduced to Pam, and Pam was very excited to see her again.

• Pam offered to support her beginnings in Brawling, and Penny promised she would bring so much riches back to the Junkers.

• Eventually she was able to. She became skilled with her cannon and brought home a bootload (pirate pun intended) of money, more than how much Pam and Jessie made, combined.

• She would team with Darryl, Barley, Dynamike, Jessie and Pam most of the time, and she considered them to be her true family.

• But back in Penny's house with her biological family, news spread of her disappearance everywhere. There was no trace of her to be found, and many communities including her school had tried their best to search for Penny, but with the mystery of Brawl Town, she was nowhere to be found--and everybody back there thought she was dead.

• Penny knew that this would happen, but her sympathy was to a very minimum. She didn't miss her family back home. She hated how she was treated, and she was grateful for the new opportunities and for the new family she found in Brawl Town.

• But eventually the thought of never having closure of what happened to your runaway daughter would get to her, and would sometimes think of running back, but she remembered how happy she became in Brawl Town, so for a long while, she hadn't seen her real family again, in fact, one could say she never looked back.

And thats it for now! I'm so excited to share these with you! Penny as a rebel and a runaway teen was exactly who I pictured in my head. I hope you like this! I definitely want to do more Penny headcanons so keep the lookout for them!

#brawl stars #penny #headcanon #brawl stars headcanons #brawl stars penny #brawlstars #jessie #pam #darryl #barley #dynamike

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welcometothepenumbra · 5 years

Text

JUNO STEEL AND THE MAN OF THE FUTURE (PART ONE)

SOUND: RAIN. TRAIN ARRIVES, CREAKS TO A STOP. DOOR CLANKS OPEN.

CONDUCTOR: Ah, good evening, Traveler. And welcome… to The Penumbra.

SOUND: DOOR CLANKS SHUT.

Take your seat, please, take your seat.

MUSIC: STARTS.

The junction lies ahead, so if you’ll allow me just a moment.

SOUND: TRAIN WHISTLE.

We are now passing through Newtown.

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING.

Our next stop?

SOUND: TRAIN BRAKES.

Juno Steel and the Man of the Future.

SOUND: DOOR CLANKS OPEN, RAIN.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

VOICE 1 (FROM TV): (FADING IN) Only forty-eight hours remain until the gates to Oldtown open, and town hall remains completely silent on this issue. Though some protestors have called for city officials to remove Mayor O’Flaherty from office completely, no such motions have been put into effect.

RAMSES O’FLAHERTY: (OVER THE BELOW) Time, time; just give me time. This will work. (SIGHS)

VOICE 1 [REPORTER] (FROM TV): (OVER THE ABOVE) Victories in the mayoral race by as large a margin as between O’Flaherty and former Mayor Pereyra are extremely rare, and it’s likely that a removal from office so soon would lead to rioting in the streets.

RAMSES: It has to.

REPORTER (FROM TV): The whereabouts of Pilot Pereyra remain unknown. The HCPD’s investigation into their disappearance continues—

SOUND: ELECTRONIC CHIME.

—but with funding to law enforcement cut so radic—

SOUND: TV CLICKS OFF.

THEIA (FROM SPEAKER): Mayor O’Flaherty. You have an appointment. With the citizen known as:

JUNO (FROM SPEAKER): —ey, get your metal-claw-gun-things off her, you lousy—

RITA (FROM SPEAKER): Mista Steeeeeeeeee—

THEIA (FROM SPEAKER): Would you like me to send them in?

RAMSES: Just Juno. Thank you, Theia.

SOUND: ELECTRONIC CHIME.

(SIGHS, GRUMBLES) A difficult conversation… an important conversation. But you’ve had those before, Ramses. And you have the most important advantage: you’re right.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS. STUMBLING FOOTSTEPS.

RITA: HEY you give me back my Mista Steel right now you nasty old robot or I swear I’m gonna fill you with so many viruses you’ll—

SOUND: DOOR CLOSES.

JUNO: (PANTING) Rita!

SOUND: DOORKNOB RATTLES, BANGING.

RAMSES: The door is locked, Juno.

JUNO: (PANTING)

RAMSES: She’ll be perfectly unharmed. I hope you know that. My goal is not to hurt either of you, and… whatever you think of me now, I hope you still know that good is what I’m after. I couldn’t possibly lie about that. Not to you. And it was always my plan, my honest intention, for you and I to work together in making that good; if you hadn’t run off like that I would have explained. You would understand.

(AFTER A PAUSE) Are you just going to stand there and stare at me, Juno? Say something!

MUSIC: STARTS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I can’t take any credit for how well my silence was riling O’Flaherty up, because… honestly, I was shouting the same thing at myself. Say something, Steel; say… anything.

I had plenty to say – the whole way here, dragged by a huge spider-legged enforcer bot that called itself the Theia Peace, I’d dredged up a few thousand things I wanted to throw in Ramses-O’Flaherty-slash-Jack-Takano’s face. And now, standing in front of him… I couldn’t get a single one of them to come out.

My name’s Juno Steel. I’m thirty-nine years old, and, I don’t know how the hell that happened; because I still feel like a scared little kid who needs his heroes to keep sane in a galaxy that doesn’t give a damn.

That’s why I couldn’t speak. Ramses O’Flaherty was still my hero, and, at the same time I wanted him to drop dead, and the two incompatible thoughts were crowding out my one small brain and I just couldn’t. Move.

But I’d spent months by then doing things I just couldn’t do, and the secret was this: you just do ‘em anyway.

RAMSES: Juno…?

JUNO: So.

“Newtown,” huh?

RAMSES: (CHUCKLES) You make that dramatic an entrance, and you want to criticize my branding?

MUSIC: ENDS.

(LAUGHING) Oh, it is good to hear that wit again, Juno. It’s good to see you well.

JUNO: What’s goin’ on here, Ramses?

RAMSES: Going on? You and I are just talking. A reunion. I’ve found my partner in good again, and Juno… I can’t tell you how much of a relief it is. I can’t tell you how worried—

JUNO: You know what I mean. Newtown. Those giant… Theia-things outside. The closed borders, you, all of it, what in the hell is going on?

RAMSES: We’ll… get to that, I promise you. I have a lot to catch you up on, but first… let an old man be sentimental, won’t you? Because there’s, um… something I have to tell you… about our– well– …our acquaintance. How I found you… eh, well, uhm… although, it is a fact that—

JUNO: I can count on Jack.

RAMSES: What?

JUNO: (SIGHS) I know, Ramses. I know a lotta things now, and I suspect even more. For example: I know who you really are, and I suspect that’s why you hired me in the first place. Must have been spooky, setting up a big real estate con like that and then finding out the thorn in your side is the kid you screwed over thirty years ago? Must have been real spooky.

RAMSES: You… know.

Of course. You figured it out. Nobody else has, but, if it was going to be anyone, it– it would be you, wouldn’t it?

JUNO: Don’t think that’s why I came here to talk to you.

RAMSES: Ah that’s why you left.

I can’t possibly tell you how sorry I am, Juno. Everything that happened to your mother—

JUNO: Listen to me.

RAMSES: You have to understand that I had it all planned out. Her deterioration, Benzaiten, neither of them was supposed to happen. I didn’t want to steal from her; I just wanted to help the company, the people who worked there. And I was always going to send her the profits from Andromeda, every cred, but she never accepted a single payment—

JUNO: I said listen!

This is not about us. You messed up. Bad. And I’m never going to forgive you for it, no matter what you say, so don’t bother. I’m not here to talk to Jack. I’m here to talk to Mayor O’Flaherty about what he built, so drop it. Now.

RAMSES: (SIGHS) Fine, then. We’ll just talk business.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I realized I needed a drink worse than I had in decades. My throat was begging for the cold knife of it, the burning embers left behind, and… I knew Ramses probably had one of my favorites in those desk drawers – a bottle of Crater Moonshine, maybe Europa Black.

But I wouldn’t ask for it. I knew and feared and respected Ramses O’Flaherty, and– I knew it was gonna take every neuron I had to keep up with him. We weren’t shooting or brawling: we were talking. That meant I was fighting in his element.

RAMSES: You’re a citizen of this city. I’m your mayor. If you have complaints, say them.

JUNO: You shouldn’t have built all this. You shouldn’t have destroyed Oldtown.

RAMSES: Why?

JUNO: Because you kicked people outta their homes!

RAMSES: And gave them all new ones. Homes that don’t leak. Homes that run on government electricity, electricity which costs a fraction of what they paid the monopolies in the rest of the city. Homes with security.

JUNO: Security! It-it’s a police state out there, Ramses!

RAMSES: It isn’t.

JUNO: It is. I had my head out of the sewer for two seconds before a Theia stuck a cannon up my goddamn nose.

RAMSES: Because I knew you were coming to me through the sewers – a fact that the Theia Orders told you directly. There are not guards on every street corner. Only where I knew you would need an escort.

JUNO: An escort!

RAMSES: And besides, it was not a cannon. It was a stun blaster. Large, so that it cannot be concealed, but less forceful, even, than the stun lasers on your own gun.

JUNO: Like I believe that.

RAMSES: You don’t have to. I can show you, in hard numbers, the force of those bots’ firepower. The voltscanners we’ll use to do it were confiscated from the police office we closed – terribly corrupt. The very office responsible for the multiple robberies perpetrated upon your childhood home, which led Sarah to—

JUNO: Stop it.

I mean it. I’m not here to talk about her, or you, or us. I’m here to talk about my city.

RAMSES: Our city.

JUNO: You can’t just buy a town, you lousy—

RAMSES: So go ahead. What complaints do you have with Newtown? All ten minutes you’ve seen of it.

JUNO: (AFTER A PAUSE, GROWLS)

RAMSES: You’re on quite the roll, Juno, but may I interject a question into this litany of complaints?

JUNO: Fine.

RAMSES: What is wrong with Newtown?

(AFTER A PAUSE) I asked, “what is wrong with Newtown?”

JUNO: I heard you.

RAMSES: Let’s grant, for a moment, your assertion that I should not have evicted people from old, broken-down, dangerous buildings. That I should not have wiped the slate clean in Oldtown, the sector of this city with the most armed crime, the most murder, the most fatal drug use, the lowest graduation rates, the most egregious police corruption, the least access to clean water and healthy food. Though I find the assertion absurd, let’s grant that I should not have done that.

What now?

JUNO: What do you mean, what now?

RAMSES: ‘Shouldn’t have’ is useful for determining long-term policy and strategy. If you and I decide that my actions were at fault, I will write into action a slate of laws that ensure they never happen again. But no matter how many laws I write, Juno, none of them will reassemble Oldtown from its ashes. Oldtown is gone.

So what would you have me do now?

JUNO: “What would you have me do now?” “You and I decide?” I know when I’m being taken for a ride, O’Flaherty.

RAMSES: I said I wanted you as my partner in good, Juno. Discussions like this were always my final step. I trust your ability and your moral compass more than any other person, including myself.

JUNO: (SNORTS) Funny way of showing it. If you trusted me more than you, Ramses, the puppet and puppetmaster would’ve been switched.

RAMSES: You’re talking about the Theia Spectrum.

JUNO: You’re damn right I’m talking about the Theia Spectrum. You picked me up and tossed me around like a doll, O’Flaherty—you used me. You used me to kill Pilot—

RAMSES: You did not kill Pilot.

JUNO: And your Piranha-faced goon—

RAMSES: The Theia controlled you to avoid exactly that end, Juno, but you insisted—

JUNO: And who cares what else! I don’t give a damn about your excuses, O’Flaherty, because the fact is: you reached down and plucked my mind and muscles like a goddamn harp. You used me. You used me just like you used me when I was a kid, just like you used my mother—

RAMSES: Your mother—

JUNO: Sarah Steel! You used her—

RAMSES: Well then. Juno, is this conversation personal, or isn’t it?

JUNO: You goddamn—!

(BREATHES) Fine. It’s not about us. I’ll drop it.

But your point is still bunk, Ramses. If you trust my moral compass better than yours, why the hell aren’t you listening to me?

RAMSES: Because you’ve yet to make a single coherent statement for me to listen to, Juno. Not one.

I return again to my question. Oldtown is gone. So: what is the good thing to do now? Give them new homes? I’ve done that, and better ones. Treat them well, give them freedom to build the lives they wish, reimburse them for their pains? All these things, done, and many of them out of my own pocket so that the city still has plenty left for everyone else. What would you have me do now?

JUNO: Let them all go. They aren’t free; you have them locked up in here.

RAMSES: They will be let go, in forty-eight hours, when it’s safe to go—

JUNO: Safe! So you’re saying it’s dangerous! You’re putting them in danger!

RAMSES: If you wish to know what’s happening in Newtown, do not interrupt me.

It isn’t dangerous for the residents here. They are safe. But you can’t just drop a new neighborhood, a new way of life, into a pre-existing city and expect the transition to be flawless. We allow individuals across the border first; anyone may leave, but only Newtown residents and select guests can enter until the city adjusts to our idea.

JUNO: What idea? You keep saying that, but what—

RAMSES: The idea that a place can solve the big problems for us. The myth for too long has been that if we all just behave ourselves, paradise can be ours. But our surroundings have never allowed that. Now they do. In Newtown, there is no more crime, no more suffering. These things only happen when people want what they can’t have, and that does not happen here. The city itself solves it.

JUNO: That’s… come on, Ramses, that can’t be true.

RAMSES: You see? Even you are reluctant to believe it. What’s the rest of the city going to do to Newtown if we don’t acclimate them first?

JUNO: I don’t know, Ramses, but, it’s hell out there. People are scared. Really scared.

RAMSES: Well. What should I do about it?

JUNO: And the sewers – the rabbits, really? You had to kill them?

RAMSES: We… tried letting the rabbits up here. It… didn’t work. They just can’t understand. Yet.

(CLEARS THROAT) It’s, uh… horrible. I asked for them to be relocated, but with our remaining resources… so much had been put into Newtown itself, and projecting costs to the rest of the city—

JUNO: It’s awful, Ramses.

RAMSES: I know. But the human good is so massive, Juno. What would you have me do?

JUNO: Just… f-fix it!

RAMSES: Fix it! And what would that entail?

JUNO: I don’t know! That’s not my job!

RAMSES: You’re right. It’s mine. And yet you seem intent on not listening—

JUNO: Give up the job. Alright? That’s what I want you to do. You’ve only made people miserable with it, so step down and let somebody else pick this place up.

RAMSES: Like who? Is there anyone you trust with that, Juno? Is there even anyone you trust to choose someone like that?

JUNO: Y’know, O’Flaherty, you keep saying that you trust my opinions then tossing ‘em out when I give ‘em. If you’re gonna drag me in here to advise you I don’t know why the hell you’re treating me like a goddamn misbehaving kid!

RAMSES: Because I’m disappointed, Juno! You ask for everything and you don’t care if you contradict yourself and you don’t care if what you’re asking for is possible. You are acting like a child!

No, worse than that. When you were a child, you understood that a small, harmful act was acceptable if it led to greater good in the future. You understood that lying to your mother meant saving your brother, meant saving every job at Northstar! Do you think they’d still have jobs if Sarah—

JUNO: Saving my brother?! My mom?! They’re dead, Ramses, and it all started that day!

RAMSES: Because she wouldn’t just take the damned money! It all would have been fine if she just took the money I gave her!

Instead, she obsessed over what I should not have done for years, until it turned to rot inside her. Until she killed her son. When all the while, the opportunity for a better life was begging to be taken.

Don’t make the same mistake, Juno. Please.

JUNO: I’m not Sarah Steel.

RAMSES: You are certainly not.

JUNO: I make my own mistakes.

If you think they look like hers, that’s on you, but I’m a different person, in a different time, with… a different life, talking to a person she never met named Ramses O’Flaherty.

And I’ll admit it; I don’t know what’s wrong with this city, but I don’t know what’s right with it, either, ‘cause… here’s the thing, Ramses: I can’t talk about what’s going on in Newtown because you haven’t said a goddamn thing about it.

RAMSES: Hah. If I told you now, you’d accept every detail you liked, and accuse me of lying for the rest. That’s what happens when you go in with your conclusion already determined.

JUNO: You’re dodging the question. What is Newtown, Ramses?

RAMSES: This is a waste of my time.

JUNO: It’s not a hard question. No crime, no want, no suffering – how are you doing it?

RAMSES: If you want to know so badly then go out there and find out!

Yes. Yes, I think that may be the answer after all.

JUNO: What is?

RAMSES: I concede to your point, Juno. You’re right. It was unfair of me to engage you in a debate on a topic you knew nothing about. I cannot create good merely because I want it; it must exist without me. And Newtown is built to do just that. I am certain of it.

This is what we’ll do. With the time we have.

JUNO: I’m listening.

RAMSES: You assert that Newtown hurts people. That there’s something nefarious at work here. I assert that everyone in Newtown is happy, healthy, safe. Therefore: I will give you twenty-four hours to roam Newtown to your heart’s content. And if you find a single person suffering within these walls – even one person – I will call an end to this. I will resign as Mayor of Hyperion City. I will donate everything I have left to whatever causes you choose.

JUNO: Twenty-four hours isn’t a very long time.

RAMSES: I know. Believe me, Juno, I know. But Newtown opens in forty-eight hours, and there are… processes I must follow in order to close it.

JUNO: You could delay it.

RAMSES: And keep all those people at the gates without their families for how long? Another day, week, decade? It is agony to hurt them even this long. No. I cannot delay it.

JUNO: You talk a big game about givin’ me a fair shot, Ramses, but when I tell you what one looks like you got a lot of excuses.

RAMSES: You want what I can’t give. It’s no more complicated than that. (SIGHS) What do you want? What can I give you to help this investigation, Juno? A direction? Suggestions?

JUNO: Sorry, nope. Don’t take leads from the enemy.

RAMSES: You are the only one of us who sees it that way.

JUNO: Yeah, well. You have a census or anything like that? List of names, addresses, comms coordinates?

RAMSES: I do.

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BEEP, SCROLLING, BEEP.

I’ll send it to your comms immediately. Is there anything else?

JUNO: Not yet. But I’ll keep in touch.

SOUND: THUD.

The hell?

RAMSES: Your associate, I believe. I tried calling her several minutes ago, but, by now I’d imagine she has my Theia wrapped around her little finger.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

THEIA: The door is open. Yippee.

RITA: HA! Mista Steel, I saved you! Rita’s here—

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

—and she ain’t leavin’ until we get what we—

JUNO: I’m done. Come on, Rita, let’s… get the hell out of here.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS SLOW TO A WALK.

RITA: …Oh.

And you! Don’t you ever bother Mista Steel ever again, you…! You…!

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

RAMSES: Try not to break my town, will you?

SOUND: DOOR CLOSES.

(SIGHS)

JUNO (NARRATOR): I expected Ramses to excise, or– conveniently forget the name I was looking for on that census, but, there he was: name, address, everything.

I didn’t want to call his comms ahead of time because I didn’t want anyone to know where we were heading. On the way there I tried to keep track of what parts of Oldtown we were passing through, but… with no recognizable landmarks it was pointless. This was a new city on old land.

The place was on the fourteenth floor of a new skyrise. We passed a crowd of people leaving the building as we entered, not a single stitch of fear or hunger in their faces—

SOUND: DISTANT CROWD LAUGHTER.

—they seemed… content.

I felt sick watching them; and it just got worse when I felt how clean and clear the air was, and… when I realized I hadn’t heard a single shout or threat or slur since we got here. Sick like Ramses might’ve been right; sick like I was standing in the way of his progress. I tried to slow down. Desperation was just gonna make me jump to conclusions. If Ramses wanted a fight, I had to be better than this.

RITA: This is the address, boss.

JUNO: Seems like it.

SOUND: DOORBELL RINGS.

RITA: D’you think everything’s okay?

JUNO: Not sure yet.

SOUND: TWO DOORBELL RINGS.

MICK MERCURY: (THROUGH THE DOOR) Uh, just a second! I-I’m coming! I’m—

SOUND: MUFFLED CLATTERING.

Whoa! Oh! Oof!

JUNO: (SIGHS) Yeah, it sounds like everything’s… as okay as it ever gets with Mercury.

MICK: (THROUGH THE DOOR) Ah, just a minute! I just gotta… clean up, I guess…

JUNO: Yyyyep. Typical.

SOUND: MUFFLED CLANKS.

MICK: (THROUGH THE DOOR, OVER THE BELOW) Owww!!! Ah, c’mon, stupid…! (GRUNTS) Ahh!

JUNO: (OVER THE ABOVE) Listen… we don’t know what kind of trouble Mick’s in, alright? Even if he’s actin’ weird, we can’t ask why; we—

MICK: (THROUGH THE DOOR, OVER THE BELOW) Yeow!! Ow! Ow ow ow! (SIGHS)

JUNO: (OVER THE ABOVE) —we don’t know who might be listening and it could just put him in more danger. Alright?

RITA: Yeah, yeah, I know, boss, I been with you on a few cases now, I get it. I get the pictcha—

SOUND: MUFFLED HAMMERING.

—the pictcha is mine—

MICK: (THROUGH THE DOOR, OVER THE BELOW) There! That’s more- yeow!

RITA: (OVER THE ABOVE) —I own it the pictcha now. So give it a rest already, willya?

JUNO: …Okay.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

MICK: Sorry, sorry! I was just uh, doing some, uh, jazz redecorating and I…

Jayjay!

SOUND: THUD.

JUNO: Oof! …Mercury.

MICK: Oh man, it’s you, I can’t believe it’s really—

RITA: So what kinda trouble you in, Mista Mercury? Are you bein’ watched? Listened to? Smelled at?

MICK: Whuh?

JUNO: Rita…

RITA: How many bad guys you got hidden in there, huh? How many? Four or five in the closet, sixteen all balled up under the sink? Spill, Mercury!

JUNO: Or don’t, please.

MICK: I– is this what this is all about, you guys? You think I’m in trouble or something?

JUNO: (SIGHING) To be fair, Mercury, you’re usually in trouble.

MICK: Well! Yeah, I used to be. But not anymore!

JUNO: And you usually sa—

MICK: I know what I usually say, but not anymore to that too, alright? This is real, Jay, this is the real deal!

JUNO: What is?

MICK: Newtown, buddy! It’s amazing here! I’m back on my feet in a big way, and I got a great apartment, and a bunch of friends, and, my life hasn’t been in serious danger since the last time I saw you! Which, y’know, is maybe cause for alarm for me right now, but I’m willin’ to let bygones be bygones.

JUNO: Bygones?!

MICK: And I’m gettin’ cultured, Jay. I’ve got culture like they write about. I’m so full’a culture that if you squeezed my stomach fine wine would spray—

JUNO: Y’know, maybe don’t finish that thought, ‘cause I feel like it’s just gonna hurt your point, actually.

MICK: Then here, look, I’ll prove it to ya. (CLEARS THROAT) Would either of you ladies like… some tea?

RITA: Not really—

JUNO: Yes. Yes, we both want tea, just… so bad.

RITA: (WHISPERING) But boss, you don’t even like—

JUNO: (WHISPERING) Maybe not, but– I have to see him try to make some. I just… it’s been a rough couple of days; I need this.

RITA: (WHISPERING) That’s kinda mean, Mista St—

MICK: Alright! That’s two teas for Club Whispers over here. Now why don’t you two come inside and have a seat on my furniture. Ha!

SOUND: DOOR CLOSES.

(WHISTLES)

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

RITA: He’s got a nice place, Mista Steel.

SOUND: DISTANT DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.

Slidin’ door out onto the balcony. Soft sofas. It even smells nice, like… like… well, not like Mista Mercury, is I guess what I’m sayin’.

JUNO: Yyyep. Real nice.

So the question is who the hell Ramses must be screwin’ over in order to afford to keep up such expensive apartments for everyone.

RITA: Huh? They ain’t expensive, boss. Probably cost less than yours, and yours is a real dump, which don’t make any sense ‘cause y’know, as your financial advisor, I’ve been meanin’ ta tell you ta start spendin’ some of the money comin’ in ‘cause it ain’t like you’re usin—

JUNO: Not expensive? How?

RITA: Oh, um, I mean, they’re all mass-produced, Mista Steel. Like an assembly line. Except, if all the parts of the assembly line were bots with that same creepy lady’s voice.

JUNO: You mean this place was built by Theias? The ones with cannons for arms?

RITA: Nah, but they know how to. The ones I hacked into so far know how to do everything, Mista Steel, or at least everything any of the other ones know how to do. It’s weird ‘cause they ain’t got no security—it’s like they all got copies of the same one mind, y’see, except it ain’t a real mind, not an AI or nothin’, just a pretty simple cause-and-effect pipeline that knows how to put the solutions to formulas into new formulas, but it ain’t like it can learn or make new formulas from scratch or– OH! Maybe that’s somethin’ kinda weird an’ interestin’!

JUNO: Uhhh, yeah. I think so.

(MUTTERING) If only I knew what the hell it meant.

SOUND: DISTANT DOOR OPENS.

MICK: Here he comes, with some tea for his houseguests.

SOUND: CHINA RATTLING.

And he only burned himself twice.

RITA: Uhh… maybe, Mista Mercury, but that burn on your neck looks pretty bad…

JUNO: Burned his neck. (SNICKERS)

MICK: Hey, I’m still gettin’ used to this place, alright? Never had a toaster oven before.

Anyway, anyway, enough about me! Sit down, come on, make yourselves comfortable. You like couches? ‘Cause that couch over there is made from one hundred percent…

…couch.

JUNO: Sure, we’ll s– we’ll sit, Mick, but… you’re actually who we’re here to talk about. You and… Newtown.

MICK: Me and…? Oh, what, did I already do something wrong? Ohhh, I knew I shouldn’t’ve switched those two chairs when I moved in! They said this place was gonna be fit to my specifications exactly, and then I came in and saw the chairs and I went, “hey, maybe they’ll look better this way,” and then they didn’t! And now they’re gonna kick me out of Newtown, aren’t they?

RITA: No, Mista Mercury. We ain’t gonna kick you out. An’, we can help you move the chairs back if you really want.

MICK: (SOBBING) I already diiiiiiiiiid!

JUNO: So… h-hang on a second. This is exactly what we’re looking for!

RITA & MICK: (IN UNISON) It is?

JUNO: Yeah, it is! I– I knew there would be a catch. So, Mick, you’re saying that Newtown has these weird, inscrutable rules, right? And if you don’t follow them they kick you out?

MICK: Well, no, I didn’t—

JUNO: Ha! So much for a brand new world order, O’Flaherty; that’s got Fascist Renaissance written all over it!

MICK: Hey, Jay, listen—

JUNO: Fascist Renaissance, Fascist Renaissance…

SOUND: SNAPS FINGERS.

Torture devices! Executions! That must be what the carnival in the town square is all about—they open the doors… then public executions, to show Hyperion he means business.

MICK: Jay, quit it! There aren’t torture devices or whatever in the square, okay? I helped build some’a those. It’s just candy stands, and hologram light shows, and– I don’t know, just fun stuff!

RITA: That really does sound like fun stuff, Mista Steel!

JUNO: But– you were so worried about getting kicked out of Newtown. That must mean… y’know, that you’re scared here, right?

MICK: No way, man, this place is just great, and I don’t want to lose it. I’ve been waiting for the catch for a while now, but I can’t find it! This place is catch-free!

JUNO: You mean besides the whole completely-sealed-off-from-the-rest-of-society thing?

MICK: Well, they gotta do that for now, don’t they? I mean it’s competitive housing for now, sure, but, once they open this up and start expanding it, I mean, everybody gets a place like this. And it’s huge, Jay! And built just for us! People who can’t do heights get the first floor and—

JUNO: So where’s the liquor?

MICK: And… and… and… and… and…

RITA: Uh… Mista Mercury?

MICK: Uhhhhh, wh-what?

JUNO: You want to stay awake for like two seconds, Mercury? This is serious: the booze. If you got a place based on what you’re interested in—

MICK: I just, uh… I haven’t felt like drinking lately, I guess.

JUNO: You? Really?

RITA: That’s not such a bad thing, boss. Healthy, actually.

JUNO: What about your hovercycle? I didn’t see it coming in.

MICK: Who needs it? The buses here—

JUNO: I didn’t ask about need, Mick.

RITA: Mista Steel…

JUNO: You love that bike, Mick. Where is it?

MICK: It was busted. Dangerous, like… ughhh!

JUNO: Dangerous like what, Mick?

MICK: I mean… ughhh!

RITA: Mista Mercury… are you okay?

MICK: Yeah, I just… feel a little outta sorts. Headache or somethin’…

(CLEARS THROAT) I’m gonna get some more tea. That’s supposed to help you feel better, right? You just drink so much tea you feel like you’re gonna barf?

JUNO: Think that one through. Then you tell me.

MICK: Maybe I’ll think about it after I drink it… gotta take somethin’ for this headache…

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

RITA: Feel better, Mista Mercury!

SOUND: DOOR CLOSES.

Mista Steel, how come you’re bein’ so mean to your second-best friend!

JUNO: Because he’s a chump, Rita. I always knew he was a chump but it’s still disappointing to find out just how true that is.

RITA: Oh, come on, boss—

JUNO: You ‘oh come on!’ (GROWLS) Sorry, I’m just… disappointed. I really thought that he’d have the answer, or at least that… Ramses wouldn’t sucker him, too. Like he did me.

RITA: Aw, boss…

JUNO: Either way, I don’t think Mercury’s gonna help us with this one. And, we only have… twenty-one hours left. We gotta keep movin’.

RITA: But first…?

JUNO: But first nothing! All of Oldtown, hell, all– probably all of Hyperion’s on the line, and you want to ‘but first’ about my loser friend? No. Hell no.

Yeah, wow, that sounded pretty bad, huh?

RITA: Mmmmm-hm.

JUNO: I should probably just… apologize.

Fine. But, then we go.

RITA: Okay, Mista Steel.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

JUNO: Hey, Mick… Rita and I’ve got to go in a second, but I just wanted to say I’m…

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

Sorry…

Uh… uh… Mick? Where’d you go?

RITA: (DISTANT) Maybe he’s in the bathroom or somethin’?

JUNO: There aren’t any other doors back here. Just an… open window…

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

What the—

RITA: What the what, Mista—

JUNO: Rita, duck!

MICK: (YELLS)

RITA: (YELPS)

SOUND: BIG CLUNK.

RITA: M– Mista– Mista Steel, what was that?!

JUNO: That was… Mick?! Rita, get over here. Quickly.

RITA: O- okay!

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

MICK: What the…

Hey, my couch is upside-down!

SOUND: HEAVY SCRAPING.

Are you guys havin’ a party in here without me?

JUNO: Hands up, Mick.

SOUND: GUN COCKING.

MICK: Wh-whoa, there, buddy, be careful where you point that thing, alright? Rough-housing’s one thing, but—

JUNO: I said hands up!

MICK: (NERVOUS LAUGH) I think I mighta twisted my ankle, Juno. Can you help me up?

JUNO: Rita, don’t go any closer.

RITA: But why, boss?

MICK: Yeah. Why?

JUNO: This. Your voice. What you just did. This whole creepy apartment, it’s all wrong, Mercury, it’s all—

MICK: Me finally having my act together is wrong to you?

JUNO: That’s– not what I said.

MICK: After all we’ve been through? That hurts, Jay. That really hurts.

JUNO: What the hell is in your hand, Mercury!

MICK & THEIA: (IN UNISON) What happened, Juno? I thought we were buddies.

JUNO: When you jumped at Rita you had something in your hand! Tell me what it was right! Now!

SOUND: POWERING UP, THEIA BEEP.

Mercury!

RITA: M-m-mista…

SOUND: GRUNT & THUD; RUNNING FOOTSTEPS; BLASTER SHOT; GRUNT; TWO BLASTER SHOTS; GRUNT.

Steel…?

JUNO (NARRATOR): It… (SIGHS) It all just happened so fast. At the time I thought it felt like that because I wasn’t expecting it. Because I never thought– I-I mean… it never actually seemed possible that he would—

(SIGHS) First he jumped clean over the couch.

SOUND: GRUNT, THUD.

Then he started to run at me.

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

Fast. It was faster than I’d ever seen him or… anybody else run. Ever. And in his eyes, I swear, in his eyes, I saw… absolutely nothing. So I fired.

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

It should’ve been enough to take him down. A stun blast in the shoulder from that close could’ve taken down anyone, it had taken down goons twice as big as Mick and three times as angry, but– he kept running. All it did was push him off-balance a bit, just enough… for him to miss when he swung at me.

MICK: (GRUNTS)

JUNO (NARRATOR): It wasn’t a punch. It looked like a slap, but there was something small and metal glinting in his palm. I panicked. I— (SIGHS) I wasn’t thinking. He didn’t feel like Mick Mercury anymore; just some… monster, and that’s why… I shot him again.

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

And again.

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

Which all went this fast:

RITA: M-m-mista…

SOUND: GRUNT & THUD; RUNNING FOOTSTEPS; BLASTER SHOT; GRUNT; TWO BLASTER SHOTS; GRUNT.

Steel…?

JUNO (NARRATOR): …and ended with Mick, on the floor, motionless as a doll.

No, I noticed. Stiller than a doll.

Dead still.

And that’s when I realized what I’d done.

JUNO: Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh n…

SOUND: RUSTLING.

RITA: Is… is Mista Mercury okay?

JUNO: Get over here, Rita. Please. He-help me find his pulse.

RITA: His pulse?!

JUNO: It’s supposed to be a billion-to-one chance, Rita. A-and it gets worse with more stuns but still, I didn’t think it would ever– but-but I stunned him like three times, Rita, and I can’t find his pulse. Rita, goddamn it, I can’t find Mick’s pulse!

RITA: His heart?

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

I’m comin’, boss!

SOUND: RUSTLING.

I– I can’t find his pulse either!

JUNO: I gotta… uh, I-I gotta try CPR or something. But– but I barely remember, it’s been since the Academy, and… (BREATHES) Th-this is a nightmare, a billion to one chance, oh god damn it, this is a nightmare!

RITA: I can do CPR, Mista Steel. You just tell me when he’s breathin’, okay?

JUNO: You know– r-really?

RITA: ‘Course I do! Rita knows a lot of stuff. Just gotta find the right spot on his chest…

SOUND: RUSTLING. ELECTRIC SPARK.

JUNO: There! His heartbeat! I can feel his heartbeat again!

RITA: What? But I ain’t even start—

SOUND: SPARKS.

Ahhh!

JUNO: What happened?

RITA: It’s hot, Mista Steel! He’s got somethin’ on his chest and it’s really really burnin’ hot!

JUNO: He has… oh, no. Oh, hell no.

SOUND: FABRIC RIPS. RUSTLING.

RITA: Mista Steel you can’t just rip your friend’s shirt without askin’ unless this is just a thing for you two– oh my god what is that?!

SOUND: PULSING BUZZ.

JUNO (NARRATOR): It looked like a… computer chip. It looked like a little computer chip, with metal brackets rooted into Mercury’s chest. I could see it had something written on it but I couldn’t make it out: it was so hot, it was burning red, the skin around it was sizzling, and blistering, and cracking.

And then Mick’s hand moved. Just a twitch in the knuckles, but… enough that I knew we were almost outta time.

JUNO: Rita… we have to tie Mick up. Now.

RITA: Tie him up? But just a minute ago we wer—

JUNO: We don’t have time for this, Rita. Look at his hand!

RITA: Computer chips! Like the one on his chest!

JUNO: And he was trying to stick them on us.

MUSIC: STARTS.

(SIGHS) They say Theia on ‘em, don’t they?

RITA: I’m not sure, boss. I can’t—

SOUND: THEIA BEEP.

MICK & THEIA: (IN UNISON) The Theia Soul is now online.

RITA: Ooooooooh!

JUNO: It’s too late to tie him up. Hide, Rita!

RITA: Where?!

MICK & THEIA: (IN UNISON) Jay! Rita! You’re leavin’ already?

JUNO: The balcony! Get out on the balcony and we’ll see if we can find a fire escape or somethin’.

RITA: But boss—

JUNO: No time!

MICK & THEIA: (IN UNISON) Stay there.

JUNO: Come on!

RITA: (MOANS)

SOUND: PANTING, RUNNING FOOTSTEPS. DOOR OPENS.

RITA: He’s still comin’!

SOUND: DOOR CLOSES. WIND HOWLING.

JUNO: Hand me that chair, quickly!

MICK & THEIA: (IN UNISON) Give up.

SOUND: SCRAPING, CLINKS.

MICK: (CALLING, THROUGH THE DOOR) Juno! Rita! Come on, guys! You really gonna lock me out of my own balcony?

JUNO (NARRATOR): I tried to get a read on our surroundings, but it didn’t look good. No fire escape; the apartments were big, and– that meant the balconies were far apart. Nowhere to go, and, even if we managed to get out of here, it’s not like we had anywhere to hide—we were trapped here. Trapped in Ramses’s City of the Future, and Newtown liked it that way.

MICK: Come on, I don’t think this game is super fun. Why don’t you just give it up?

THEIA: (OVERLAPPING WITH ABOVE) Give up.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Was this really supposed to be O’Flaherty’s ‘good’? I didn’t know how to make sense of it. I didn’t know how to make sense of the fact that the chip that had turned my best friend into a monster had probably just saved his life, too. Ramses had decided that what we were all missing was a soul – and, I didn’t know how to make sense of the fact that so far… his plan seemed like it was working.

RITA: Mista Steel, what do we do?

JUNO: I… I don’t know, Rita. I don’t know.

MICK: Hey, I’ve got an idea! Why don’t you just give up.

THEIA: (OVERLAPPING WITH ABOVE) Give up.

RITA: (WHIMPERS)

MICK & THEIA: (IN UNISON) Give up control to the Theia Soul.

MUSIC: ENDS.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING, MUSIC.

CONDUCTOR: If you’ve enjoyed this tale, please consider donating to The Penumbra on Patreon. Our artists work tirelessly to bring you these stories, and if you have the means, we hope you will support our efforts. Every dollar helps. You can find that page at patreon.com/thepenumbrapodcast. If you support us on Patreon at the $10 level or higher, you’ll receive access to commentary tracks like this one, from actors Joshua Ilon, Kate Jones, and Stefano Perti:

SOUND: TRAIN STOPS, DOOR SLIDES OPEN, RAIN.

STEFANO: …totally flip-flopped the script on me, one time a dentist called me trying to set an appointment. And, for like laser– free laser whitening. I was like ‘oh. Well hey, I’ll trade ya appointment for appointment.’ And the woman said ‘I dunno if we can do that.’ And then I said, ‘why don’t you put me on the phone with whoever can?’ And then she, uh, clearly faked putting her manager on the phone, and I said ‘hello?’ And then she just kinda got all befuddled and hung up. And s…

SOUND: DOOR SLIDES SHUT.

CONDUCTOR: You can also support The Penumbra by liking us on Facebook, following us on Twitter @thepenumbrapod, following us on Tumblr @thepenumbrapodcast, telling your friends about us, telling your friends to tell their friends about us, and especially by rating and reviewing our podcast on iTunes. Every rating, comment, and kind word spreads our stories further and inspires us to keep creating more and better tales to come.

We would like to give special thanks to all who support us on Patreon, but especially to Minchowski, Camille Blanton, Garrett M, Atha Lang, Kim Zeugin, Jaimie Gunter, Fiona Parker, Jay Iannuzzelli, Ko, Canteloupe, Christine Kim, Regan, Charlie Spiegel, Karin Z-H, Ota Arcana, Rowan Collins, and Demi for their incredibly generous contributions per episode. Thank you.

Did you know that The Penumbra has merchandise for sale? It’s true! The Penumbra has partnered with DFTBA to bring you the posters, shirts, and pins your heart desires. Just go to dftba.com and search for The Penumbra Podcast.

This tale, Juno Steel and the Man of the Future, was told by the following people: Joshua Ilon as Juno Steel, Matthew Zahnzinger as Ramses O’Flaherty, Kate Jones as Rita, Stefano Perti as Mick Mercury, and Sophie Kaner as the Theia.

The Penumbra is created and produced by Sophie Kaner and Kevin Vibert. If you wish to know more about our ever-expanding, infinitely-creative team of artists, musicians, editors, designers, and managers, you can read about them in the show notes of this episode.

I’m afraid this is the end of the line for today, dear Traveler. We hope you will ride with The Penumbra again soon.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

#juno steel

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tespuco · 5 years

Text

PotC Liveblog: Curse of the Black Pearl

CotBP is one of my ‘forever films’ for sure - every time I rewatch it I not only feel the same sense of wonder and delight as the first time but invariably discover new things to love and squee over as well.

I would love to learn more about Elizabeth as a child: this lonely, solemn girl who feels something perverse in her thrill at pirate stories and gallows humor, yet who gravely takes on the duty of looking after young William Turner because she wants to be good, too. (@dollsome-does-tumblr‘s Elizabeth-centric, post-CotBP fic Shrouded Heart explores this ambivalence in her self-concept with heart-wrenching emotional realism)

Wow, Will was doomed from the start, wasn’t he? I would be too if I were a 12-year old piece of half-drowned human driftwood waking up to a miniature guardian angel who softly murmurs, “I’m watching over you” before I drift back into unconsciousness

Framing Elizabeth’s memory of seeing the Black Pearl and meeting Will as a dream, one that impels her to put on the medallion, suggests fate or some other supernatural influence at work - a nifty way for writers to sidestep accusations of Contrived Coincidences and call it Destiny instead!

Keira Knightley is so beautiful hELP

Awww, Will is so proud of his handiwork! It’s interesting because the film puts a fair amount of emphasis on it early on, his skill and pride in not just wielding swords but forging them - only to tell us later that he’s really a pirate by blood and at heart. I like it when fics like fried_flamingo & salr323′s At World’s End: Redux lean into Will’s identity as a blacksmith and extrapolate from it an affinity for land/earth/balance/creation as opposed to the sea’s wild potential for destruction. (He lost his father to the sea and to piracy; he never learned to love either.)

My god everyone’s layered in buttoned-up and corseted finery in the fucking TROPICS no wonder Elizabeth passed out (ngl despite the ‘Caribbean’ in the title and visiting the Disney ride in New Orleans Square, I remember stupidly assuming Port Royal was part of England, not Jamaica; at 9 yrs old my geography was shit and I had yet to learn what imperialism was ok)

“A ship with black sails that’s crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that hell itself spat him back out.” shiver me timbers now that’s how you tell a ghost story

“If he were telling the truth, he wouldn’t have told us” has the same antimonious energy as Winnie-the-Pooh going, “Well, it’s a good thing I noticed it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have seen it”

This is definitely tmi but in retrospect the rescue scene played a formative part in my (bi)sexual awakening: for a long time my go-to pubescent fantasies involved near-drownings followed by hypersexualized resuscitation attempts and frantic uncomfortable sex on wet rocks in damp subterranean caves

Omg I just realized Elizabeth’s scene with Jack on the docks mirrors the one she had on deck Will in the flashback: a (wo)man overboard recovered, rescuer hovering over a supine body and fingering the pirate medallion around his/her neck, love at first sight

“One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness.” “Though it seems enough to condemn him.” Basically “no good deed goes unpunished” but with style

16 years later and the swordfight between Jack and Will holds up as an iconic example of swashbuckling fight choreo. I also love how the exchange establishes the Jack/Will dynamic: the former as a kind of ironic mentor (“Excellent form. But how’s your footwork?”), the latter as an unwilling pupil who nevertheless mostly plays along

“I practice with them three hours a day.” “You need to find yourself a girl, mate.” Raunchy Shakespearean-grade comedy at its finest (along with “This sweet, proliferous bouquet that is Tortuga…What do you think?” “It’ll linger.”)

“This shot is not meant for you.” I love the hints we get of Jack’s darker side: he keeps his bitterness close and his grudges closer; for 10 years he saved that bullet for one man, refusing to expend it in any number of life-threatening situations in the interim; he drawls, “Worry about your own fortunes, gentlemen. The deepest circle of Hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers,” like a witch uttering a curse. A dishonest man, methinks, would not feel the stab of betrayal so deeply.

The running joke of Will not getting recognized for his skills and earnest efforts is what makes Norrington’s parting words to him at the end so satisfying: “This is a beautiful sword. I would expect the man who made it to show the same care and devotion in every aspect of his life.” (NORRINGTON KNEW IT WAS HIM ALONG BUT WAS TOO JEALOUS TO EVER PRAISE HIM TO HIS FACE that petty little shit lmao)

I remember looking up the definition of ‘acquiesce’ after watching CotBP as a kid, so Barbossa had a direct hand in expanding my 9-year old vocabulary.

Competent, hyper-focused!Jack at the wheel with an unholy gleam in his eye as he gets drenched in a torrential downpour is my kind of Byronic hero

I prefer Jack Sparrow’s backstory to remain a loose collection of rumors and half-truths jumbled together even in his own memory, but I DO want to know how Jack and Gibbs met, how the former earned the latter’s (mostly) steadfast loyalty. I want to eavesdrop on all the inebriated conversational musings they’ve shared over a bottle of rum, whether topside on the decks of a ship not the Pearl or shouted above/muttered below the ruckus of a Tortuga tavern.

I’d also read/watch a prequel about the mutiny. “He plays things closer to the vest now. And a hard-learned lesson it was.” WHO HURT YOU JACK

Well obviously Barbossa did, but I still have so many questions! How did a younger, more trusting Jack earn the ire of his first mate and crew, to the point where they’d stage a mutiny? Then again, to hear Gibbs tell it, Barbossa simply appealed to Jack’s sense of fairness; perhaps in their unadulterated greed they saw Jack’s honest streak as a vulnerability to exploit? Or was it something in Jack’s manner of captaincy that fomented discontent? Idk, I can’t tell based on the way the crew jeers at “Gents, you all remember Captain Jack Sparrow?” whether their antipathy smacks more of derision or vitriol.

“Mr. Gibbs? …Jack? Jack Sparrow?” Elizabeth must be SO confused by these blasts from her distant and more recent past: who knows when Gibbs left Norrington’s employ, but the last time she saw Jack he had her in chains and at gunpoint, and now apparently he’s conspiring with Will??

I’ve always been kind of baffled by the cabin scene between Elizabeth and Will. What is she apologizing for? Taking the medallion and not telling him? Or for telling him and making him realize his father was a pirate?

Also her tearful, “Because I was afraid that you were a pirate. That would have been awful” is the biggest, bald-faced lie if I’ve ever heard one. She took an interest in him BECAUSE she thought he was a pirate (although I do think young Elizabeth had been afraid FOR him, after Gibbs’ pantomime of the hangman’s noose)

“daft like Jack” should be my Jack/Elizabeth/Will OT3 tag

Ah, back when PotC incorporated visual gags to spice up their action sequences instead of building the equivalent of a Rube-Goldberg machine around a single, unfunny gag. Compare: Gibbs’ canteen making its unlikely way from the Interceptor to the Pearl and back as an accompaniment to the battle and Jack’s breakout from his cell VS the overextended Tortuga sequence in DMC where Jack weaves in and out of a brawl to no apparent purpose except to try on different hats and then exit the tavern.

“Though it does seem a shame to lose something so fine, don’t it? …So I’ll be having that dress back before you go.” Barbossa is despicable and Geoffrey Rush delivers his lines with such RELISH

I will squee over the island scene & its deleted segments at length in a separate post so for now I’ll just say: Elizabeth is obviously a huge Jack Sparrow stan and she’s doing a piss-poor job of hiding it

Listen it’s easy to overlook Norrington’s sense of duty and decency in the face of the stick up his butt and his bouts of extreme pettiness. But the fact is that Jack’s attempt to manipulate and appeal to his ambition fails. Because the Commodore is no Barbossa - he’s a fine man who serves others, not only himself; who cares whether a woman’s acceptance of his proposal is less than sincere; who wouldn’t have risked his men ambushing the Pearl’s crew had he known about the curse (last two courtesy of the deleted scenes on the Dauntless).

Now that I’m paying closer attention I’m just blown away by the careful consideration in Jack’s plans. He’s playing both sides to further his own goal of enacting revenge at minimal risk to himself, but he looks after the unwitting parties he involves in the process, too: while the Royal Navy occupies the undead pirates from the safety of their long range cannons, Jack can intervene to save Will, use him to break the curse, and kill Barbossa. All the good guys win! (He couldn’t have foreseen the Trojan Horse or the en masse submarine attack; nor Norrington’s pettiness in defying Jack’s instructions to man cannons that would’ve blown the undead into smithereens.)

Exhibit B: “Now, to be quite honest with you, there’s still a slight risk for those aboard the Dauntless, which includes the future Mrs. Commodore.” Disregard his insouciant delivery here, and you get Jack telling the whole, unvarnished truth!!! “What do you have to lose?” he asks Norrington, who brushes him off: “Nothing I’d lament being rid of.” It’s JACK who reminds him that for all their precautions, the ambush might put Elizabeth in danger. Jack knows about the curse, and after being marooned on an island with her, he knows Elizabeth will do whatever’s necessary to save Will. So he finds a way to ensure not only that she won’t interfere, but that she’ll be kept safe from harm!! I’ll never be over it

And Murtogg’s “You think he wasn’t telling the truth?” line is such a great callback to their early sketch as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern on the docks of Port Royal. These dimwits happen to know Jack does tell the truth, expecting no one to believe him. His own exhortations on the subject notwithstanding, Jack’s real trickery lies in rarely telling the whole truth, letting people make their own assumptions, and giving them enough rope by which to hang themselves.

Governor Swann is such a darling, the ultimate doting father. It’s easy to assume he doesn’t get Elizabeth at all, but he’s no idiot. He rightly suspects she only agreed to marry Norrington to save Will, and while he’s not above nudging her in that direction (“I believe you made a very good decision today. Couldn’t be more proud of you.”), he’s also not about to let his only daughter bargain away her happiness for the sake of his OTP. (And his face of exasperated affection at Jack’s hanging, when he realizes she only pretended to faint as a diversion! Notice the lack of surprise in his expression: that’s the face of a father who is all too used to her Pulling This Kind of Shit)

Jack keeps popping up like a bad penny and both Norrington and Barbossa are so appalled every time lol

The sequence where Will breaks the curse and Jack shoots Barbossa and Elizabeth jerks like she’s the one who was shot is just - *chef’s kiss* the CHOREOGRAPHY! the CAMERAWORK! the EDITING!

“I feel…cold.” *a single apple rolls out of Barbossa’s dead hands* Can you believe a summer blockbuster movie invented poetic justice tell your English professors

“If all I have achieved here is that the hangman will earn two pairs of boots instead of one, so be it.” Ugh Will is sooo not my type but he’s so DASHING and GOOD no wonder Elizabeth covets him. What a hero

“My place is between you and Jack.” Ohhh you know what I would love to track the main characters’ alignment arcs throughout the series. Here Will’s situating himself as the Chaotic Good between Jack’s Chaotic Neutral and Norrington’s Lawful Good. But I would argue he’s still pretty Lawful and, even under Jack’s tutelage, only resorts to Chaos in extremis; meanwhile Jack flits between Chaotic Good and Chaotic Neutral; Elizabeth’s arc is similar except it’s unidirectional; and without the Law at his back Norrington spirals into Neutral Evil.

It’s the Sparrabeth shipper in me but the last line of the movie is Jack singing a song that Elizabeth taught him. (*Cutler Beckett voice* “We’ve had dealings in the past. And we’ve each left our mark on the other.”) For a fic about what Jack leaves her, may I redirect you to Shrouded Heart by dollsome, linked above - and this brain dump comes full circle!

#this is already too long and it's...only the tip of the iceberg that is my potc feels #i've reserved my more effusive observations for illustrated commentary #stay tuned for comments & tag novels on edits i've found of my fave scenes #pirates of the caribbean #the long and short of the meta #t-recs

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arkus-rhapsode · 5 years

Text

Team Bakugou vs Team Tokage Rewrite

What? A Rhapsode fight rewrite? Yep, I wanted to do this after reading the Bakugou vs Tokage chapter and being less than impressed with that fight. Now I do wanna keep the spirit of it, but I’m going to be altering it.

Now this takes place after Bakugou rescues Jirou because to be honest everything up to that point I think was perfect. And without further ado, lets dive in.

Thoughts

Special powers

Bakugou: *Blocking Kamakiri from striking Jirou*

Kamakiri: What?!

Bakugou: You got quick reflexes for a bug, dontcha?

Kamakiri: I gotta retreat like Setsuna said!

Jirou: Bakugou, you...

Bakugou: SHUT UP AND GRAB HIM!

Sato: Right! *Goes to grab Kamakiri, but he jumps back and runs away with Bondo*

Sato: They got away!

Jirou: You... Saved me...

Bakugou: Course I did! We’re a team, and I’m going to be damned if I let a single one of you get captured!

Sero: That’s a surprise...

*cut away*

Tokage: Did Bakugou go and protect someone? He didn’t seem like that kind of person during the sports festival and train camp... No matter, I gotta put faith in this strategy, we have to wear class 1-A down and pick them off. Come on, guys, I know you can do this!

*cut away*

Kamakiri: Huh, I wasn’t expecting that! Thought I could’ve picked off that earphone girl like she was nothin’!

Bondo: I’m-I’m sorry if I did bad...

Kamakiri: Don’t start cryin’ on me! We just gotta wear them out like Setsuna said!

Bondo: O-okay...

Kamakiri: You say here and get ready for another ambush, I’ll tell Yosetsu about this!

*cut away*

Monoma: How?! How did he change his character so quickly?!

Kirishima: Never underestimate Bakugou!

Kaminari: That dude will keep improving himself in anyway to become the next Number 1 Hero!

Monoma: Well... Setsuna is not to be underestimated! Plus, they couldn’t even catch Kamakiri or Bondo! So we’ll see who folds first.

*cut back*

Team Bakugou: *running in hot pursuit of Kamakiri and Bondo*

Sero: Hey, Bakugou! You sure these things you gave us will work?

Bakugou: Huh? I spent so much time on those that there’s no way a shit like you could mess them up!

Sato: Well, mind if I ask what this new attitude is all about?

Bakugou: Do I have to explain this?! Fuck! Look its simple, if you’re in trouble I’m going to save you shits! And if I’m in trouble then you shits can save me!

Jirou: Guys, I heard something!

*Tokage’s body parts begin to wriggle away under them*

Bakugou: That lizard bitch must be underestimating me! *fires himself into the air*

Awase: *appears from behind a pillar and pops opens his bag*

*cuts away*

Deku: He hid his presence so well!

*cuts back*

Awase: Construction-Done-Kwik: Weldcraft! *Quickly uses multiple interconnecting metal logs to bind Bakugou up*

*flash back*

Kamakiri: And that’s the short of it!

Awase: No way!

Kamakiri: Setsuna said to make it back to her and protect her from where she activated her quirk. So you and Bondo take them out when they get in close!

*back to the present*

Awase: Looks like you’re not going to be using your explosions anymore!

Sato: LET HIM GO!

*As Sato reaches for his utility belt for his sugar, Bondo from up on a higher girder launches a rain of glue on Sato, sticking him in place*

Bondo: I got them! A-a-again...

Awase: Good work, Bondo! *Opens up his bag and with the remaining metal logs, he makes a bo staff* In a one-on-one fight, I’m nothing against a power quirk user like Sato or Bakugou, but now that they’re gone... TIME TO END THIS!

*Awase charges at Jirou and Sero and strikes Sero in his helmet and then the side of his abdomen knocking him down*

Jirou: *Extends her Jacks and tries to whip Awase*

Awase: *blocks Jirou’s jacks with his make shift bo staff*

Jirou: He’s got good all-around use of melee weapons like Momo...

*Awase lunges forward with his bo staff, but Jirou manages to cock her head to the right and dodge to end of the the bo staff*

Jirou: Got him! *Extending her right earphone jack, she is able to strike off Awase’s bag from his belt*

Awase: *Still capabilities on Jirou’s moment of openness and swings around his bo staff to strike Jirou’s right side of her face*

Jirou: *Reels back*

Awase: *Splits his bo staff in half by un-welding the center and using the two halfs he’s made, brings the ends of the halves to his shoulder pads and welds them together. Resulting in two staves with sharp ends to strike with* Don’t underestimate me, my whole costume is my support tool!

Jirou: Annoying... *Begins to charge at Awase*

Bakugou: LOOK OUT, DUMBASS!

Jirou: *Jumps out of the way as Bondo launches another glue rain*

Bondo: Aww... I missed...

*Jirou barely has time to to react as Awase goes back on the offensive and starts thrusting his sharp-ended staves at Jirou’s face. Jirou manages to dodge each and whip Awase with one her jacks.*

Awase: *Staggers back slightly from the strike*

Jirou: *Uses her second jack to bind Awase’s left arm by wrapping around it and gets in close to disarm his right hand.*

Awase: *As Jirou goes to grabs his arm, he uses his right arm to elbow Jirou in the face, braking free of her binding and jumping back for distance*

*Cut away*

Vlad: Looks like we got ourselves a good ol’ fashioned hero brawl! While Class 1-A shows good skill, her little earlobes aren’t going to be enough against the fully armed Awase!

Mina: Just you wait, those little earlobes will be spanking that welder boy’s behind!

*Cut back*

Awase: HAAA! *lifts both his staves above his head and brings them down on Jirou*

Jirou: *Tries to block both with her forearms and her jacks, and while able to hold them off, can feel the pressure of them pushing down on her*

Awase: Looks like I’ll e taking you to jail! Huh-?! *Arms begin to be pulled back as he starts lifting his staves away from Jirou*

*Awase looks behind his to see Sero having started pulling him backwards after recovering from his attack*

Awase: *Lets go of his weapons as Jirou readies to whip him again and he jumps away from them*

Sero: *throws away Awase’s staves and rushes at him, looking like he’s winding up for a punch* Time to turn the tide!

Awase: No problem, I’ll just turn my armor in a face plate! *welds the center piece of his armor to his face* Just try and break through this!

Sero: *Does not actually punch to armor, rather reveals his wind up was a bluff as instead of punching, he shoots tape out at Awase and attaches it to his face plate* Jirou, little help?

Jirou: *smiles and wraps her Jacks around Awase from behind and hurls him*

Sero: *Utilizing the extra force, begins to spin Awase around* This is a lot easier with Uraraka’s gravity...

*Sero slams Awase face first into a girder, but Awase simply stands up and removes the face plate*

Awase: FELT NOTHING! *Looks to see two speakers on his left and right sides

Jirou: *Has her jacks plugged inside the speakers* Heartbeat Surround! *Fires off a large sound wave around Awase that blasts him in into unconsciousness with its sound*

Awase: Bluu... *collapses and Sero begins to start wrapping him up in tape*

Bondo: AHH! Awase?!

Jirou: *direct her speakers at Bakugou and Sato in Bondo’s glue and releases a strong enough sound wave to break them out without incapacitating them.*

Bakugou: It’s about damn time!

Sato: Good one, Jirou!

Sero: Bakugou, let me help you with Bondo!

Bakugou: FINALLY!

*Bakugou blast off into the air to the higher level where Bondo is*

Bondo: Glue Squall! *Fires a massive jet of glue at Bakugou, but misses as it seems Bakugou is actually pulling back in mid air to stay out off the glue’s reach* Wha?

Bakugou: *Has Sero’s tape attached to his back to pull him as he’s blasting himself through the air* Now your gonna get yours! *Forming his hand into a circle and places it on his other palm* AP SHOT: Auto-cannon!! *Rapidly fires out concentrated blasts of his explosion that head right for Bondo and his surrounding area*

Bondo: I-I know what to do! Super move, Glue Geyser! *Looks up toward the sky and begins to fire high pressured glue from his face. The glue’s reach is minimum, but the top of the geyser begins to form a hardened film on it*

*The geyser’s film protects bondo from the AP: shot*

*cut away*

Vlad: What a move! Cancelling out one super move with another, have you ever seen such ingenuity?

Mina: It’s not special! Besides, the more shots Bakugou does at ounce, the weaker they are! That glue isn’t special!

*cuts back*

Bondo: *jumps down from the higher field* Okay, so if Awase has been beaten, then I fall back and help Kamakiri and Tokage prepare for another ambush!

Sato: Did you forget about me!

Bondo: Glue Squall! *Fires another jet of glue, but Sato is pulled away by tape attached to his back* Not again!

Sero: Looks like I know how far your glue reach is!

Sato: *pulled towards a girder and kicks off the side of it to get close to Bondo* Let me show this off to you! *downs a container of sugar* Sugar Rush! *Releases a flurry of fists that strike Bondo repeatedly*

*cuts away*

Kirishima: Alright! Sato learned how to only take in sugar when he was in close enough so in his berserk mode he wouldn’t have a problem on who to strike because its so closed quarters!

Kaminari: Talk about not letting the power go to waste!

Monoma: Grrr...

*cuts back*

Bondo: *Lands battered and bruised on the field with a thud*

Sato: Phew... *catching breath* I’m going to take this guy back to the jail while I can, you guys go ahead!

Jirou: We’ll leave Awase here. Looks like he’s been beat.

Bakugou: *Landing back on the field* Alright, lets go!

Sero & Jirou: Right!

*cut away*

Tokage: Damn... Damn... I built this plan on Bakugou’s arrogance. He’d be to blinded by his own ego and would wear his team down for us. The hit and run style of fighting would be great for a disjointed team, but no, they’re in sync. And in a confrontation, one of us is not enough to handle all four. Except maybe...

Kamakiri: Hey, Setsuna! I’m back!

Tokage: Hey, Togaru.

Kamakiri: What’s up with the others?

Tokage: I think... I think we may have lost this one.

Kamakiri: What?! There’s no way!

Tokage: Our other teammates just went down and their following my part here, we’re probably gonna lose. *Nervous grin* Sorry I let you guys down, it was my strategy and I take full responsibility for our failure.*

Kamakiri: Failure?! We’re still in this! Are you throwin’ in the towel when the match isn’t even over! Your the awesome recommendation student, you should know what do do if your plan starts falling apart!

Tokage: Looks like he’s all riled up. Just get ready!

Kamakiri: Hmm?

Bakugou: Hey, bug...

Kamakiri: You’re gonna regret coming here, nitro ass...

*cut away*

Jirou: *tracking Tokage* Why Aren’t we helping Bakugou?

Sero: He said we gotta class 1-B high and low. He’s taking care of Kamakiri and we’ll have to find a way to get Tokage!

Jirou: Hm?

*Tokage’s body pieces soon fly out from under the two class 1-A kids and attack them*

Sero: Damn, they really are like mosquitoes! *quickly notices the pieces beginning to move away slightly*

*cut away*

Tokage: Looks like they weren’t ready for a split up!

*cut away*

*Kamakiri and Bakugou are trading blows, however it seems that no one has taken any damage*

Bakugou: *swings in, but is blocked by another blade growing out of Kamakiri*

*cut away*

Deku: Unbelievable... Kacchan’s explosions aren’t doing anything.

Kendou: That’s cause Kamakiri’s blades aren’t just sharp, but they’re incredibly durable! Seems bakugou knows this and has just been parrying Kamakiri’s attacks.

*cuts back*

Kamakiri: *thrusts forward, but Bakugou dodges and grabs that outstretched arm*

Bakugou: Let me take you for a ride! *Outstretch one hand and starts releasing blast of explosions, but they don’t seem to be moving.*

Kamakiri: Keh...! *Grows out blades from his biceps on his grabbed arm enough to puncture Bakugou’s hand and make him let go.* That won’t work on me! *Lifts up his leg to reveal he grew blades on the soles of his feet*

Bakugou: *dodges the kick quick enough to only get cut on the chin* So the bug has a few tricks...

Kamakiri: Tricks? HA! My blade are more than you can ever imagine, in a fight straight up brawl, I’m a demigod compared to you!

Bakugou: Oh yeah, we’ll see about that you shit! *Runs up to Kamakiri*

*Bakugou launches himself with his explosion to jump over Kamakiri. The while Above him He fires a Single AP Shot*

Kamakiri: *Crosses his blades to protect himself from the shot, but is pushed back by the sheer force so he quickly grows blades on his heels*

*Kamakiri then uncrosses his blades as Bakugou is running up to him.. Kamakiri quickly lifts his knee up and grow a blade from his knee cap to block Bakugou’s attack.*

Kamakiri: *Retracts his first blades on his arms and Grows new ones that are angled to skewer Bakugou.*

Bakugou: *launches himself back to avoid it, but finds his back against a girder.* Who the fuck put this here?!

Kamakiri: *Crosses his blades into a cross shape* No where to run! *Dashes towards Bakugou and then grows long horizontal blades on his feet that act similar to skates that help pick up more speed* Super Move, Sword Blitz Press!

*Bakugou readies himself as Kamakiri’s crossed blades collides into Bakugou and push him back. Bakugou manages to hold back some of it, but the attack crushes his back against the girder*

Kamakiri: *Returns his feet to normal* You don’t know what you got yourself into, Mr. first place at the sports festival! Everyone saw what you could do. What your power was! Don’t think for a second some of us haven’t figured out ways to surpass you!

Bakugou: I got news for you... *Opens up his palm that’s in his and Kamakiri’s face* That isn’t going to happen! I. Don’t. Lose! Zero-Distance Explosion!

*With a bright flash Kamakiri is blinded and pushed back with minor blast burns on his face, but so does Bakugou.*

Bakugou: *Grabs onto Kamakiri’s right fang* I made two mistakes when I grabbed you. I grabbed the wrong place and I didn’t put enough force behind that throw! Explode-A-Pult!

*Using his free hand, Bakugou releases a massive explosion that propels him in a spinning motion that once enough momentum is gained, lets go of Kamakiri and throws him into a nearby wall.*

Kamakiri: Gack!

*cut away*

Sato: *Ready to left the still unconscious Awase* Okay, Awase, I got you. No need to worry, I won’t drop you *Notices the strength of Bakugou’s Explode-A-Pult* Looks like They need some help. Nah, Bakugou doesn’t need- *remembers that Bakugou says that when he needs it, his teammates can save him to*

Sato: *Grabbing a sugar container off his belt* It was in that direction, yeah? *Downs the sugar and enter a sugar rush* Super Move Sugar Rush Express!

*Sato begins to run incredibly fast towards the battlefield*

*cut away*

Jirou: Some of those pieces are still crawling, but they seem to be retreating to- *struck by another Tokage piece*

Sero: This quirk... What we know Tokage can split it up into 50 pieces and manipulate them, but what if they have a limit? Can you focus on grabbing just one?

Jirou: Huh?

Sero: *Holding a grenade* I have a plan.

*cut away*

Bakugou: *looks at his stabbed arm* And stay down-Hm?!

Kamakiri: *starts lifting himself up* ...Gah ha.. *Rips off his cloak to reveal that he grew a ton of crossing blades on his back that acted as a shield when getting throwing into the wall* ...I told you... You can’t beat me in a straight up brawl... Exo-Sword!

*cut away*

Manga: Whoa whoa whoa! You see that Bakugou was all like, ‘BOOM BOOM,’ but Kaminari went ‘SHING!’ And is now all like, ‘you what mate?’

Tetsutetsu: I’d still say my durability is stronger.

*cuts back*

Kamakiri: *grows blades on his arms again* YAAAAA!

*They return to their previous exchange at the beginning of the fight with Bakugou only parrying, but with his cut arm, the excretion of the explosions is catching up and the pain is traveling up Bakugou’s arm.*

Kamakiri: Looks like our plan still worked! You’re all alone, and your damage is catching up with you!

Bakugou: Who said I was alone?

Kamakiri: *cocks an eyebrow*

Sato: *comes charging in and decks Kamakiri right in the face as he is occupied with Bakugou* Sugar Rush Express!

Kamakiri: *disoriented and knocked off balance*

Bakugou: Let me finish this! *Punches Kamakiri while he’s disoriented in a big boom that knocks Kamakiri to the ground*

Kamakiri: *on the ground* You... Can’t... Beat... Me...

Bakugou: We just did, bug...

*cut away*

Tokage: No no no no no. Not Togaru. But I almost have all my parts back, I cn hit them with a surprise attack when their all in one place and wake up Togaru and Yosetsu too.

Tokage: *looks down* And that’s the last of my parts

*on one of the piece appears to be a gernade stuck to it with tape*

Tokage: What?!

*Flashback*

Bakugou: Here, take these. *throws grenades* They aren’t to powerful, but they’ll work. *starts to run after Kamakiri and Bondo*

Team Bakugou: *All running in hot pursuit of Kamakiri and Bondo*

Sero: Hey, Bakugou! You sure these things you gave us will work?

Bakugou: Huh? I spent so much time on those that there’s no way a shit like you could mess them up!

*present*

Sero: This is just my theory, but I think Tokage’s ability isn’t inexhaustible. Afterall, its the same as Yaoyorozu. She need to replenish herself before she can use her quirk. So Tokage needs all the pieces back to her to activate her quirk in full again.

*small explosion happens*

Tokage: Close call! *notices Someone behind her*

Sero: So when we get her body part back to here, you use your Jack’s range to finally nail her down!

Jirou: *Throwing out her speakers* No where to run or split yourself up to! Heartbeat Surround!

Tokage: *Attacked by a massive sound wave that pelts against her*

*Cut Away*

Sato: Wow, this guy must’ve been good to leave that many scratches on you, Bakugou. *Kamakiri slingged over his shoulder*

Bakugou: Hmph...

Sato: And you let me help you take him down! Can’t believe how much you’ve changed, dude!

Bakugou: Changed?

Tokage: *On the ground, dazed by Jirou*

Bakugou: My goal is the same as its always been. To be the number1 hero, and nothing it holding me back!

End

#my hero academia #rhapsode rewrites #rhapsode fights #mha #bakugou katsuki #class 1-a #class 1-b #setsuna tokage #sero hanta #jirou kyoka #yosetsu awase #satou rikidou #kamakiri togaru #bondo kojiro #deku midoriya #monoma neito #vlad king

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angclicals-blog · 6 years

Text

⟨ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 / / CAITO, JASON. ⟩

hello, everyone ! i’m admin fox, i’m twenty years old ( twenty one on the 30th woop woop ! ), my pronouns are she/they but i go by any of them tbh & i’m from brazil so i’m in the brt timezone ! i currently have two muses, jace & rusty, and this post is all about my angry baby jace a.k.a. jason ! all of his info is below the cut, and if you’d like to plot pretty please message me or give this post a heart ! some trigger warnings for suicide, child abuse, death & alcohol abuse should be in place !

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ chris evans + cis male + he/him — have you seen jason ‘jace’ caito? they sure have been hanging out at the caito mansion a lot recently. they are a thirty-seven year old known as the wild card. they currently work for the savages as the leader, which they’ve been doing for two weeks. a bisexual gemini, they are adaptable + intelligent, as well as overly emotional + impulsive. all black suits. golden rings. expensive whiskey.

⟨ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 / / early life. ⟩

jason was born on a warm morning of july, in valdez. he has a twin brother, james, and a younger sister--- his mother died after she was born ( the woman had postpartum depression, and it made her very suicidal once it went untreated. ), and his father always blamed the young girl for it. he was a drunk, and would often mistreat all of his children, specially the baby. jason & james were always there for her, though, protecting the girl and keeping her alive when their father wouldn’t.

his twin moved away from their home when the boys were nineteen, moving to australia & leaving jason & his younger sister alone with their father. it was absolute hell for a couple of months, and jason took up drinking at the local bars, using fake ids and bribing to get into them. it was in one of those bars that he met balthazar’s then second in command. they saw potential in him, saw his anger and his desperation, and took advantage of it, offering jace and his sister a safe home if he worked as a soldier for the savages.

after that, despite of the blood in his hands and the horrible actions that kept him awake at night, jace and his sister were safe. their father turned up dead just a couple of months after jace’s initiation, and while no one ever spoke of it, he knew the man’s death had been ordered by balthazar.

in the years jace worked as a soldier, he caught the man’s eyes--- it started with balthazar inviting him to dine in a separate room when most of the savages ate at the mansion’s dinning room, and then expensive gifts and parties and then the travels jason had always wanted to do. by the time jason was twenty-three, he had a ring on his finger & everyone knew not to fuck with him, even if he was known as caito’s boy toy behind his back.

ever since they got married, jace stopped actively working at the gang--- he was always beside balthazar, giving him advice and helping him overlook and take care of things, but he wasn’t openly involved with it. in fact, for the past seventeen years, jace has been more of a trophy husband than anything else; he stays at home, takes care of the mansion and the savages that live there, and sometimes waltz in balthazar’s office and gives him his two cents about where to take the gang; he knows the savages’ in and out, but stays in his corner and acts as arm candy when he’s supposed to.

he loves his husband more than anything, and despite how boring his life has been, balthazar is good for him & his sister and he wouldn’t have it any other way. as expected, he’s completely off his rockers since balthazar died. jace was given the savages almost as an inheritance, with him being one of the few people balthazar trusted enough to leave in charge, and a lot of people are unhappy with it, unsure of they can trust balthazar’s old boy toy to lead them. jace is more than ready to prove them all wrong, once he gets his much desired revenge on the gang that took away the love of his life.

⟨ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 / / personality. ⟩

jason is very intelligent, but he hardly ever shows it. instead, he’d rather play dumb pretty boy all day long and leave people underestimating him than show who he really is.

he’s always been a sweet, caring man. he took care of the savages as if they were his children, giving them anything they might need--- it often ended up with balthazar and him fighting over how jace was “spoiling his criminals”, and turning them soft. still, jace has always been out to do his damn best to make the savages a family.

despite his momma bear nature, jace doesn’t shy away from violence when it’s necessary. he’s known for convincing balthazar into killing those who betray the savages, and has hardly ever shown mercy for anyone who fucks up, no matter how much he once cared about them.

his violent side has been flourishing a lot since his husband’s death, and although he’s doing his best to stay clear headed, watching the love of his life die next to him broke jace on the inside, on a level much deeper than he’d ever expect, making him more of a loose cannon than he’s ever been.

⟨ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 / / appearances. ⟩

he’s 6′1 in height, and usually clean shaven with a buzzcut; his looks are very important to him, and looking messy or unkept has always been a big no-no for jace--- he hasn’t really shaved since balthazar’s death, however, so right now he’s got the start of a bear going on, as well as longer hair than most people have seen him with.

jace has a couple tattoos; the savages’ mandatory lion head on the back of his neck and the red roses on his left bicep are his favorites, though. he also has some text on him, the date of his marriage over his heart & a quote from his favorite book on a straight line over his spine.

he almost always dresses in formal-ish clothes. before balthazar jace’s wardrobe consisted mostly of sweatpants and gym shorts, but once his bank account grew, so did jason’s love of high-end fashion. nowadays he mostly wears suits, but even when he’s in casual clothing, they’re always designer. same thing with jewelry--- before coming into money jace didn’t even understand why people wore them, though nowadays his fingers are always covered in bulky gold rings, and ever since his husband’s passing, balthazar’s favorite gold chain hasn’t left his neck; jace had intended on putting bal’s wedding band on the chain so he’d have it close to his chest at all times, but on the day the man was buried he just couldn’t deal with seeing balthazar in the casket without the ring.

⟨ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 / / plots. ⟩

a best friend — being balthazar’s husband was a very lonely shoe to fill--- apart from his husband & his family, most people were too afraid to be around him; not this person, however. they never cared about holding back on how they speak and act around jace, and have become his best friend over the years.

the ex --- this character would have to be on the older side; they were dating for a couple of months back when jason was in his early twenties, and he broke up with them to start a relationship with balthazar.

the protegé --- this connection is open to multiple people, and they all must be savage members. basically, mama bear jace took them under his wing, and treated them as his kids ( no matter how much younger or older than him they are, tbh ) and has always gone above and beyond to make sure they are safe & content with their jobs, probably is always insisting for them to move into the mansion if they haven’t already.

the affair --- for thirteen years, jason was loyal to balthazar. about seven months ago, however, he found himself infatuated with this person. it hit him out of nowhere, and once he found out the feeling was mutual, jace panicked and, after a night together, he completely cut this person out. things are pretty awkward between them still, with jace barely being able to look them in the face--- specially now that his husband is dead.

the childhood best friend — this two were attached by the hip all throughout their childhood and teenage years. they grew apart as jace devoted more time to the gang, and are now trying to light up that flame again; which creates several awkward hang out sessions and late nights of doing the weird stuff they used to do as kids.

the confidant — jason doesn’t trust a lot of people. never has, with his upbringing. this person has, somehow, broken through his walls, and is the only one he’s comfortable enough with to open up.

the high school sweetheart --- jason has changed a lot over the years, and no one can attest more to that statement as this person. they were each other’s first real relationship, and although it’s been years since then, they still have a special place on each other’s heart.

the enemy --- maybe jason had balthazar kill someone this person loved, maybe he just rubs them off the wrong way, maybe they don’t agree with him inheriting the savages. whatever the reason, they can’t along & are constantly at each other’s throats.

the rebound --- jace is completely heartbroken over his husband. he also has a lot of anger & energy pent up, which leads him to this guy: they brawl, they fight, they have sex. anything to keep them from dealing with their demons. ( this connection must be a male, preferably late 20s or in his 30s ! )

the protective friend --- there’s nothing jace loves more than taking care of people. in return, no one really takes care of him. except for this person, who’s there for him when he breaks down, who kicks the mansion’s security guards in the balls and trespasses to bring him soup when he’s sick and just doesn’t fuck around when it comes to calling jace out on his bullshit. i think it would be sweet to have a cobra member fill this out, but it’s not necessary !

#outlaw.intro #⟨ / / 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐄 ▬ ABOUT : 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍. ⟩

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