#NOT because hes bad or anything hes a kind character i just want to see him dissolve into the saddest pile of embarrassment on earth

[kazumist]

DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER .ᐟ

✩ — or in which they terribly miss you. (implied long distance relationship)

✩ — includes: wriothesley, neuvillette, alhaitham, lyney, and cyno x gn!traveler!reader. fluff. no cws. wc: 415. reblogs are very much appreciated !!

✩ — note: currently suffering from stage four misskonasiyagitis. send help. i wanted to try out writing multiple characters again so here we go, kinda 50 50 w this one tbh

it physically hurts wriothesley to be this far from you. i mean, come on. seriously? commissions in sumeru? sometimes he doesn’t know whether he should hate the fact that you’re willing to take commissions in different regions or admire it. he misses you so goddamn much—it would’ve been fine if you took commissions on fontaine! he rarely goes up to the surface but at least he would’ve caught a glimpse of you every now and then. but nope, wriothesley guesses that he just has to wait.

neuvillette was unfamiliar with the feeling of missing someone. well, that was before he got together with you, at least. but now he’s definitely familiar with it (way too familiar, in fact). he misses you dearly—he misses your spontaneous visits to his office, he misses the lingering warmth of your hand in his. he tries his best to hold his emotions back, not wanting to cause fontaine a random downpour, all because he missed his beloved.

a rare event to see alhaitham lose his composure. recently, kaveh has noticed his roommate space out more often, always blanking out randomly. kaveh wonders what caused his roommate’s current state (not that he actually cares; he was just curious). that was until alhaitham asked him a question. “what can one do when they’re craving the presence of someone who can’t be present at the moment?” oh, so that’s why.

lyney tends to connect his recent shows with things that remind him of you; it kind of makes lynette sick to see her brother in this state. rainbow roses, fontainian pastries, anything that makes lyney think of you. not only that, lyney wouldn’t shut up about you either! lynette cringes, freminet feels bad for her. “aren’t rainbow roses a bit overused at this point?” she asks lyney. he replies with a simple, “rainbow roses could never be overused, dear sister!” lynette could only pray that you return soon.

cyno tends to crack even worse jokes. is that even possible? tighnari has no clue. “did you know what the triangle said to the circle? ‘you’re pointless.’ get it?” cyno tells yet another joke. tighnari facepalms at this point—why must he be the one who endures his friend’s awful jokes in your absence? he doesn’t recall signing up for this at all! “you could’ve pretended to laugh at it. (name) would’ve done so if they were here.” cyno pouts. tighnari sighs in defeat. this is going to be another long day for him, isn’t it?

[steadybear]

“ 𝐦𝐫. 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 “

𝐩𝐫𝗼𝗺𝐩𝐭: 𝐰𝗼𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐭𝗺! 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬?

content warning: 18+ NSFW, 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈, trans male character, amab reader, male reader, oral sex (scar receiving), vaginal penetration, gentle vanilla sex, first times, misunderstood feelings, semi-drunk sex/drunk sex, a lot of confused flirting and banter, lots of kisses, lots of reassurance, unsafe sex (keep it in your pocket if you can't wrap up your rocket), this is pure fluffy vanilla sex and a little bit self-indulgent, as mentioned this is amab reader there is specific mentions of cock

" welcome back caller 🪷! connecting your line as we speak! "

" new contact noted! caller scar has been added to your phonebook - love, 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑟 𝑡-19 “

"I mean, I understand why you would, with the inn prices being so high, but really?"

His fingers drummed on the market stand in front of him. Eyes wandering, he gave a slight shrug. "It's not as if I have any other options, do I? I can't exactly make a house appear out of thin air." Despite what should've been desolate words, the smirk written all over his face added a playful lilt to his speech.

Your face was tinted a cute pink, but it wasn't because of him. It was a sun-kissed hue tanned into the flesh of your cheek from the humidity. Still, he felt proud of himself when a polite laugh ripped through the heatwaves beating down on the both of you. "Well, still, camping might be fun for some people but you look like you're going to sweat your hide off. Are you sure you don't want some money to stay at a room with some kind of air conditioning or something?"

He looked down at his clothes, "Do I really look that bad? I'll have you know I'm quite comfortable." He did a playful twirl. You took note of the dreamy and far off nature buried in the depths of his pupils.

Another chirp of laughter passing your lips, "Yeah, sure you are. Your forehead is caked in sweat." You turned around, heading to the back of your small shaded booth before plucking a small beige satchel of coins out. You turned around again, just to find his fingers drumming on the table while his eyes darted just about everywhere but your humble shop's offerings. "Take it, tonight's on me."

Just as quickly as you slid it across the table, the bag was pushed back into your retreating palm. "No need, I'm not exactly what anyone would call... delicate."

Your own smile tugged at your lips as you shoved the bag of shells back across the table. There was a devious glint in your eyes as you quipped back to him, "No need to play coy, I'm not after anything." Your fingers brushed up against the back of his hand. "That is, unless you want me to be."

This time, it was his turn to chuckle. He only seemed further motivated by the challenge, smirk opening up his cheeks. The scarred tissue on his face uncomfortably hindered one side of his face, causing a more lopsided grin. Even if it was one caused by pain, the smile was endearing. It was imperfectly beautiful, uneven but genuine.

"I'm not strapped for cash," His eyes flashed a dangerous mischief, "-but I wouldn't be surprised if you were. You seem all too eager to hand off your money to any pretty traveler passing through town."

To this, your lips opened, closed, and then opened again. "I don't remember calling you pretty, but I can't say I disagree with that either." You still insistently held the bag firmly against his palm, gently wrapping his hand around the drawstrings of the bag with your fingers, "That being said, consider it some... local hospitality. Nobody in the village wants anyone to go to sleep cold or hot or uncomfortable. We're all just trying to make a living, even if we don't agree with each other all the time."

His own eyes widened slightly, but he didn't stutter or seem taken aback by the sudden sincerity in your tone. "I don't see why you'd help me, I can see you're barely keeping food on your own table."

You averted your eyes sheepishly, "That may be true, but I don't have trouble keeping a roof over my head." Your former smile transformed into a sort of grimace, "I know I really shouldn't be telling visitors this if we want to keep having any travelers stop in, but..." You took in a deep breath, "There's this Tacet Field that opened up nearby, and I- I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if you--or really anyone--got ambushed because you couldn't afford a room."

You shook your head and urgently pressed the bag into his hands, "So, just for my peace of mind, go ahead and just take this and get yourself a comfy bed to sleep in." You offered him a sincere smile, withdrawing your own hands, "I swear on it, Miss Chunhua makes the best breakfast if you have enough time for it."

He hummed, pretending to consider it for a moment.

Of course, he was already intrigued you knew of a Tacet Field popping up before any of the Midnight Rangers could make the time to come and investigate it themselves. But, he was more concerned with your show of completely selfless kindness. The amount of shells in the bag would be more than enough for a room at the inn, enough for a couple at the very least. If anything, he wondered why you had this amount just casually set aside in a bag.

"As touched as I am by your kindness, I don't need it." He dropped the bag down onto the counter with one hand. The other grabbed at the food he'd bought from you. "I'm more than strong enough to handle a few tacet discords. You don't need to worry your little head off about anyone like me."

You immediately protested, "If it's about the money, it really isn't that-"

You were cut off with another of his sweet laughs. "No, it isn't about the money. As touched as I am that you want me to sleep safely, I'm here to investigate the Tacet Field myself up close." He held a finger to his lips, "Don't tell anyone though, alright?"

Your eyes widened in protest, "What do you mean you're investigating it? That's-" You promptly shut your mouth. "With your confidence, I know you probably have some kind of Tacet Mark, but it's really not safe. Those things- they're-"

He shook his head again, lopsided grin only getting bigger. He held his pinky out, "Would a promise make you feel any better?"

Your frown only deepened, "Look, I know you think your Tacet Mark will keep you safe but I have a Tacet Mark. They're more than dangerous, they're larger and more aggressive than they usually are. They look like they're just about to rip anyone that gets close enough to shreds."

He shrugged, "I've seen worse."

"Somehow, I believe you," You remarked dismally, "But you should trust me on this. My farm is right on the outskirts of town and I've gotten front row seats trying to subdue those things. They're practically in my backyard all day." Your face contorted into one of mild discomfort, "Just take the money, if you want to be able to look at the Tacet Field up close, I'll let you use my farm. Does that work?"

He put a weighty finger on his chin, crossing his other arm across his chest. He snapped his finger, as if he came to a realization. "What if I camp out on your farm? That way, you can see that I'm still in one piece."

Your jaw tensed for a moment, seeming to think it over. It didn't help your conscious that he seemed to naively sure of himself. You didn't know if the nasty full-length scar on the side of his face was any indicator of his skill or any fights he'd actually been in. Perhaps it'd been some freak accident during childhood? You took in a deep breath. "How about you pay a fraction of the price you would for the inn and just rent a room in my house? I have one facing the back, it's got the perfect view of the Tacet Field."

He tapped his chin a couple of times before finally seeming to agree that would be the best outcome. He finally nodded. "It's the best of both worlds, I don't see why not."

You breathed a quick sigh of relief, finally letting the tension in your shoulders relax. "Oh thank god."

Your face flushed an embarrassed crimson when the sound of his boisterous laughter met your ears, dying out just as quickly as it emerged. He offered you his hand, one you took in your own.

"Scar, pleasure doing business with you."

"You're back!"

Scar couldn't deny the sweet squeeze your tone of affection had on his heart. Of course, he couldn't exactly let it be known either. The quaint grin that always seemed to be there was all that greeted you. "I'm surprised you remember me."

You tilted your head at him curiously, your own warm grin still on your face. "Well, it isn't every day we get tourists. It also isn't every day that those tourists show up wearing bright red."

He was pleasantly surprised that you didn't mention the brutal injury that marred a majority of his face. Usually, when people brought up his rather... distinctive appearance, that was their go-to. "It's been a while though, hasn't it? Your village probably had more than enough foot traffic to forget about me."

You hummed, putting together the same thing he bought from your humble little stand last time. "Maybe, but they haven't been anywhere near as memorable." You turned around with the little satchel of treats. "You've got this way about you, y'know? It's hard to find in anyone else."

"Hard to find in anyone else... you say that like you've already found it again. Don't tell me you've managed to replace me already?" It was obvious that he took joy in the momentary conundrum that flashed across your expression.

"You're twisting my words!" You countered, pointing a jokingly accusatory finger at him. "You're hard to forget, especially cause you're one of the only people that's actually made the effort to strike up talk past polite conversation." Still, you gave an exaggerated sigh as you approached the front counter again, lamenting, "It'd help if you managed to say more than a few words without squeezing a few jabs in."

His smile widened to showcase his teeth, the small twinge of pain as the scar tissue strained against his joyful motion brought a small pool of pity into your own irises. It wasn't one that Scar missed either. Instead of bringing it up, he shrugged, "Life's too short to not cause some mischief, right? I'd be way too bored if I didn't at least poke some buttons."

You hummed, crossing your arms thoughtfully. You shrugged before sticking your tongue out at him, "Still, I won't forget anytime soon." You laid the little beige box on the table. "I'll have to get back at you somehow, I just have to wait for the right chance to do it."

Scar clicked his tongue in response, "Well, it seems you'll have to wait some time before that can happen."

You raised an eyebrow, "Well, I mean, you're here now, aren't you?" Your eyes softened, "If you need a place to stay tonight, you can set up camp in my house again--free of charge this time."

He shook his head, "No need, I'm just making a quick stop in." Precisely why he was confused he was even at your shop in the first place.

You nodded, "Well, just remember you're free to crash at mine anytime."

He chortled quietly before quipping, "What, are you that lonely?"

Your face flushed a familiar pink, opening and closing your mouth like a fish. You finally settled on snatching your box back into your arms. "You're awful!"

He laughed, louder, unabashedly.

You shook your head, "You're just a good roommate is all." You sauntered off towards the back of the booth again, locking up your safe. "You didn't stay out too late, you didn't make much noise at night, and you put up with my god-awful cooking."

He shrugged, "You're being pretty harsh on yourself, I remember it being pretty good."

You looked at him suspiciously, "Just because you're a worse cook doesn't mean I'm some kind of chef."

"Hey!"

It was your turn to laugh at him this time, swinging your keys around your finger. "You know what, you're right. Picking at you is pretty fun, I'll have to remember to do it more often."

He shook his head, though, it was clear there was no real disappointment behind it. "I'm a terrible influence."

You hummed, pushing open the small turn-style door to your booth. "I wouldn't say that. I just think you're a... unique influence. I don't really have many people my age to talk to."

He put his hands on his hips, "That's basically just another way to call me a bad influence. Plus, the fact that you don't have any other influences doesn't make me a good one."

You handed him the small, cutely wrapped box with one hand, "Yeah, but it does mean you don't have much competition." You pointed towards the small home at the end of the road, a building Scar remembered to be the inn with your other hand. "Say, let's go eat at Aunty Chunhua's."

He held the package close to his chest with a curious tilt of the head. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

Instead of freezing up in embarrassment this time, you put your hands on your hips. "Only if you want it to be." You pushed him away from your stall excitedly, "To be honest, Chunhua made a batch of some of the best soup ever this morning and I've been catching a whiff of it for the past hour or so. It's making me really hungry."

His face caught a surge of heat, transitioning from a light pink caused by the weather to a deeper magenta. "So if I wanted it to be a date, it could be?"

You nodded, playing along with his joke. "Totally, I'll even give you some freebies if you agree to split the bill with me."

He snickered, "So you're only asking me cause you couldn't afford to get a bowl on your own?"

Your head bobbed up and down shamelessly, "Precisely," You threw a casual arm over his shoulders, "As much as I love her, Aunt Chunhua's prices are way too high for a humble farmer for me." Beginning to tug him along, "But with a handsome, rich stranger by my side I can have all the soup I want! So hurry up, I'm only getting hungrier!"

He breathed in slowly, "Handsome?"

"Yes, very handsome." Your eyes didn't divert from the source of the delicious smell wafting through the air as your mouth opened, "Your eyes are pretty, and your smile is easy on the eyes. Your face is really symmetrical even with the scar on half of it." You paused for a moment, "Speaking of which, I don't get why the other people in the village say you look scary, a scar is just another type of skin, right?"

He seemed to trail off into thought for a moment, "Hm, I guess it is."

The life of a Fractcidus overseer was not an easy one.

That fact should've been obvious to just about anyone that thought about it for a few minutes. It became even more obvious when you lived the life yourself.

It was all the more reason an overseer kept the people close to them at arms length. When you were constantly in danger, it meant anyone you associated with would also be in danger. There was no telling what kinds of hostile entities could get the bright idea to use a loved one as some kind of bargaining chip. Would Scar be willing to sacrifice that chip for the goals of the organization?

When it came to you, he didn't know.

You were this pure, unadulterated light. Sweet, untouched by the filth of the world. As a humble rice farmer in a rural village, he doubted you even knew the Fractcidus existed. Of course, you still knew what Tacet Fields were, you knew what Tacet Discords were, hell you had a Tacet Mark. You were strong and proud, never arrogant or unnecessary with your strengths.

But unlike Scar, you were completely selfless in your use of your abilities. Would you still look at him the same if you knew the depths of his soul? Would you peel back his burnt, horrid flesh, look at the demons in his heart and still accept him? Would you ever end of agreeing with his vision of the world?

He didn't know, nor did he care to find out.

For your sake and his, the question was better left unanswered.

He would keep his distance, he decided. He wouldn't ask the question, he wouldn't hear the answer. He felt a little unfair, plucking the decision from you entirely, but what choice did he have? If you decided to give the Fractcidus the time of day, your little life tucked away in your fields would grind to a strict halt.

There was no guarantee you would have a roof over your head in the night, no guarantee you would come home safe. Your booth at the town market would be left unattended every Sunday morning, you wouldn't be there to fend off the stray Tacet Discords that came in close enough to the village to actually threaten civilian life.

Even if he would be selfish in just about every other aspect of his life, something about your inherent lack of an ability to put yourself first inspired him to finally step up to the plate and put you first instead.

After his last visit, he knew he couldn't deny the brewing butterflies fluttering across the recesses of his ribcage. He couldn't stop the flush from spreading all over his face when he talked to you. He couldn't even really hold a real conversation without hinting at his feelings in one way or another, but besides his own feelings there were yours.

Even if you could get past his criminal pass times, would you be able to get past the fact that he didn't have the same parts as any other man?

He couldn't describe it, the way your own desires and proverbial thoughts intermingled with his own.

Alongside his own inner monologue, there was suddenly, a second voice. "The voice of reason", he called it. It argued for your needs and wants. You needed shelter, you needed safety. You might've wanted to be in a relationship with him, you might've wanted to see him more often, but giving you those would completely override your needs. Besides, he couldn't even guarantee that was what you wanted. Maybe, you wanted to be in a relationship with someone who could settle down with you. You might want someone who was born a man. So, since he couldn't be what you wanted or what you needed, so he removed himself from the equation entirely.

Or at least, he tried to.

Deep down, he was still selfish. He felt awful when he realized he couldn't completely put your safety first. The guilt churning in his gut only got worse when he realized you wouldn't have been able to bring yourself to blame him; not when he showed up to your door looking as pitiful as he did.

Caked in mud, soaking wet and frowning like a poor stray left out in the rain. Storm raging outside from every angle, thunder, lightning, torrential rain that made it difficult to hear your own thoughts. Blinded by the dark, at risk of running into any manner of Tacet Discords with the nearby Tacet Field.

"What the actual hell are you doing outside?" You demanded to know, ushering him inside. One second, you disappeared into the depths of your home, skittering down the stairs with a warm, dry towel being unceremoniously dropped on his head.

He didn't answer, letting you towel the muck and wetness out of his usually unruly white hair.

"Have you eaten yet?" You questioned him, throwing a stack of your own sleeping clothes at him. You ran around like a headless chicken, trying to get him comfortable.

More guilt dripped and dropped onto his shoulders like a leaking faucet as he stared at your dumbfounded face when he choked out his answer in the negative.

He couldn't help the sweet mix of fondness in his stomach the longer you fussed over him. Scolding him for not taking proper care of himself, poking him in the chest and telling him he was far too careless of his own health.

He couldn't stop the lopsided smile that snuck up on him when you pushed him into the same bedroom you'd provided him the last time he stayed in your home. Nor could he help himself when you yelled through the door that you were still making dinner so you had enough time to throw in some extra ingredients to accommodate a few extra portions.

'Just one more time,' He conceded, one more time he would let you take care of him.

'This will be the last time', he promised. Who he promised it to? He couldn't make up his mind. He didn't know if it was to you, the unknowing victim, or to himself.

"What's all this?"

You noticed pretty quickly, Scar had a habit of nervous fidgeting. Scratch that, not exactly nervous fidgeting but more bored fidgeting. When he wasn't doing anything, he would be bouncing his leg or drumming his fingers on whatever surface was available.

You set down the rather large bottle on the table, cracking open the top of it without a second thought. "It's some cider I've been aging. I wasn't really sure when I'd have the opportunity to share it with someone."

You didn't notice his smile falter as you turned around to go retrieve your wine glasses from a cabinet. When you returned to the table, his expression was the same as it always was. You settled yourself at the seat across from him at your little round table. "I don't really see what's all that special about me being here, I'll be gone in the morning when the storm's passed."

You nodded, "I mean, it makes sense that you're confused since you live a life of intrigue." You flicked the cork of the bottle off. "I'm alone a lot of the time here. Sometimes I'll stop into Miss Chunhua's to cough up what little money I can scrounge together, maybe sometimes I'll get courted by some lady from another village, but I don't have many meaningful friendships."

His brow twitched, but you didn't catch much of a shift in his face otherwise. "I catch your drift."

You chuckled, hand coming to rest on the sweet-smelling bottle of liquor, "Lighten up! I'm breaking out the alcohol as a part of a celebration that you're back!" You poured yourself about half a glass, pushing the bottle towards him afterwards, "I might live a lonely life, but it only makes every time you stop by more special."

He wondered, would you still look at him so fondly if you knew he would lead you to your pitiful end?

Even then, he couldn't bring himself to rain even harder on your parade. He took the large green jug in his hand before pouring himself a similar portion. He did his best to smile, to act joyful so that you would smile too.

But, you noticed the difference immediately. The fake versus the real. When he smiled genuinely, one side of his face would lift more than the other, a result of the drastic scarring. But, when he was pretending, it seemed like he ignored his own pain in favor of trying to look as natural as possible. Both sides of his face remained even.

"...Are you alright?"

The question caused the grin to vanish off his cheeks entirely, eyes raising to meet your own. He hated the fact that they were downturned, the clear worry scribbled all over your face. He made a crude attempt at reassuring you, the same practiced smile carving it's way onto his expression yet again. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

You didn't even try to hide the fact you were still worried. "Scar..."

A jolt of panic elevated his heart rate, tilting his head to the side. "Aw, are you worried about me? I'm totally fine," As a little last ditch effort, he quickly tacked on, "...maybe a little frazzled from the rain, but I'm okay."

Your eyes narrowed, creases inlaying themselves on your forehead. "You know you can tell me just about anything right? I-" You paused, "I might not be the smartest, I don't have some fancy education and I've never been to the capital, but I can do my best to try to understand."

His eyes widened, expression falling flat. His breath caught in his throat as he tried to write it off. "Hey, don't write yourself off, you're a lot smarter than half my coworkers." He attempted to crack a joke, but it was obvious it fell short when you leaned back in your chair and crossed your arms.

"That still doesn't answer my question." Even when you were trying to be stern with him, you still didn't seem to have a strong enough spine to truly be mean. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I'm not some little porcelain doll that'll break if you say the wrong thing. I'm a grown man."

"Well, of course I know that." He paused, thinking over his words carefully, "It's just that I can't tell you."

You perked up in your chair, tilting your head to the side. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He let out a breathy laugh, "It's nothing against you, it's just... work-related?" Technically, it was the truth. He reasoned that it would be alright to say that much as long as he didn't really let much else slip. "I know you probably think it'd be alright for me to talk about it since you wouldn't know anything about the organization besides what I tell you, but it's confidential."

There was a pause while he waited for your response.

He let the tension fall from his shoulders when you reached for your wine glass, "I get it, rather be safe than sorry kind of situation, right?"

His head shook up and down a little bit too quickly for your liking, "Exactly like that actually."

You motioned with your glass to his own. "Wanna toast? Just to getting away from your problems for a little bit. I'm assuming your employer can't really reach you during a storm as bad as this on a little farm out in the middle of nowhere."

This time, his smile was as lopsided as you remembered. He scooped up his own glass and brought it to meet your own with a little 'Clink!'

He relaxed a little bit as he watched the concern melt off of your face. You took a swig of the cider, watching him take a sip as well. It was sweet, with a little tang underneath it. It was a standard fruit-infused cider. Still, to make some polite conversation he found himself asking, "What'd you make this with?"

You set your glass down. You instead brought the bottle to your face, swishing around the liquid to see if you could find any identifiers. "I can't remember if this was the tropfruit batch or the gemberry batch..."

Scar took another taste, "I'd make a bet on it being tropfruit."

You hummed, "Yeah, that sounds right."

"Do you want to take this any further?"

Scar took a moment to respond, still catching his breath from a kiss that was just a little bit to passionate to really be dismissed as anything but an invitation. He cursed himself internally for letting the alcohol cloud his judgement enough to let things go this far.

Even though everything in his mind screamed for him to stop things where they were, his grip on your shoulders was just as tight as before. His chest was still pressed against yours, his back was still leaned against the counter.

His glass of liquor remained on the tabletop just a few short feet away from where the two of you had semi-melted together into a tangle of limbs.

It'd started out innocent at first, he was teasing you like he always did. He couldn't remember when it'd gotten physical, the only real memory having been wrapping his arms around your waist from behind.

It'd only really taken off from there, soon enough, you were hovering over him and his lower back was getting sore from the sharp countertop bleeding a line into it.

"I-" he paused. "It wouldn't be smart for me to let this go on for any longer." It was the continuation of that thought that would've really broken you heart. '-lest you find out he wasn't the man you thought he was.'

Even though he was the one to say no, he couldn't help the sinking feeling in his gut when you nodded at him. There was a deep regret coursing through his veins as you pulled away, going back to washing the dishes. He only felt worse when the selfish little part of his brain got frustrated when you tried to just pick up the conversation where it'd left off.

"You're heading out tomorrow morning, right? Where are you headed to?"

"You're drunk and you've already told me no tonight, 'm not going to take advantage of you."

Even in your insistence, Scar could feel your resolve melting when confronted with the alcohol running through your own system. The longer he pressed, the sloppier your words got. Every passing minute, it seemed a little bit more of your willpower seemed to slip past your fingertips like sand.

Like the sweet tendrils of temptation, he connected his lips to your jaw again, like a sweet promise. Even as he pulled away, he could smell the sickeningly sweet odor of the liquor left behind like a tattoo on your unblemished skin.

"What? Haven't gotten this close to anyone before?" He teased, shifting against you on the loveseat in your living room. He'd been sitting next to you previously, taking your drinks to the den so you two could properly relax before bed. Now, he writhed on your lap, straddling your hips.

Your eyes were bleary with intoxication, still trained on him as your eyelids drooped like a weeping willow. Your teeth were grit together, your hands on his waist as you tried to gently coax him off of you. "That's besides the point-" You were cut off by your own voice, grunting when he took the chance to bite down on the sensitive skin of your collar.

He snickered, grinding himself down onto your thigh, "No wonder you're so nervous."

This time, you truly made the effort to get him off of you, a sense of urgency in the way you called his name. "You need to stop and let yourself sleep this off." Your hands moved to be against his chest, trying your best not to hurt him when you moved to push him off of you. "I like you too much for you to sleep with me, regret it, and never come back again."

He cocked his head to the side, eyes finally meeting yours as he asked. "What if I don't regret it? Did you consider that?"

You blinked a few times, still sort-of out of it and under the influence. "I would've considered it if you didn't tell me you were uncomfortable earlier." You pushed against him gently. It wasn't strong enough to be classified a shove, just consistent pressure to keep his inebriated body from leaning up against yours. "Sso, go to bed. If you really want to do anything like this, you'll wait until you're sober to talk t'me about this."

He huffed, both understanding and impatient. His hands rested on your shoulders, moving from exploring the expanses of your torso. "Did you consider why I told you to stop?"

Your eyes shut in an attempt to make the room stop spinning for a moment. "No, 'course I didn't." While your sense of chivalry kept him from resting on you, your head rolled to the side to let your cheek rest on one of his hands on your shoulder. "You told me no, I did what anyone worth their salt was 'sposed to do. You didn't need a reason to say no."

He sighed, just barely twisting his wrist around to cradle your face. He brushed his thumb against your skin, his own eyelids starting to feel like they were solidifying into lead. "You're really dense, y'know."

Your eyebrows came down your forehead, furrowing to a point, "Who're you calling dense? You're the dense one, You- You-"

He cut off any and all trains of coherent thought when he pressed a seemingly innocent kiss to your lips. In your drunken mess, you chased after him when he pulled away. "You didn't think I had a thing for you, too?"

Your eyes blinked open at him, expression still a little tense. "Hm?"

He laid his forehead against yours, voice lowered to that of a whisper, "I stay away cause I like you. I don't want you to be in trouble cause you hang around me."

Immediately you were up in arms about his assertion, "That doesn't make any sense."

He hummed, "It might not make sense to you, but if you knew what I did, I feel like you would do the same thing."

He could feel the heavy breath that passed your lips. He could also feel your hands moving back down to his waist. You wrapped around him gingerly, tentatively. Even when you were too drunk to think straight, you cared so much about his comfort. "I'm not weak, 'm really strong. If someone came after me, I could handle it."

He chuckled, resting his head on your now free shoulder. "Yeah, but would you still like me if you knew I was the one that put you in trouble?" You nodded with a vigor against his own forehead. He combed his fingers through your hair, gently.

He let out a noise of contentment before drawing in another breath and holding it. "Even if I was trans?"

He could feel the way your eyes blinked in confusion, lashes tickling his forehead. "mm' so?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, forgetting how to breathe for a second.

Your hold on his hips got tighter as you pulled him in closer. "Why would that matter, at all?"

He pulled back from you, "You'd still have the hots for me? Even if I didn't have a dick?"

Your immaturity shone through as you chuckled at his crude language. You leaned back further into the plush of the sofa. "Yeah, why wouldn't I? I haven't really seen you naked before. I don't see why you'd think I'm only attracted to you for your body."

He could feel the revelation start to sober him up. His heart felt like it was beating a million miles a minute. He tripped over his words while he looked for the correct way to articulate his thoughts to a very drunk man, "W-Well, I mean yeah, but it's a deal breaker to some people. Not everyone is into that, y'know?"

Your eyes met his, the difference in your cognizance becoming obvious. While he was fully alert and at full attention, your eyes remained half-lidded and glazed with alcohol. "In all honesty, I don't know what I'm into. I don't have enough time to think about it." You gave his love handles an affectionate squeeze, "But when I do think about it, I think about you and how you make my heart feel all mushy."

He could feel his head start to spin as he tentatively asked again, "So you still feel the same way about me? You don't care that I don't have the same parts as a guy?"

You frowned, "What do you mean? You're still a guy, aren't you?" You put your head on his shoulder. "Your name is still Scar, I call you he and him and that's what you prefer, right? I don't really know all that much about it, but if you want me to call you a guy, then you'll always be the prettiest guy on the planet to me."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Scar?"

"Help me take my shirt off."

"You're sure you won't regret giving me your first time in the morning?"

Even if it sounded like he was teasing you, you could tell from the tremble in his legs that he meant it. You glided your fingers towards his waistband, tentatively waiting for the go-ahead. "Will you regret sleeping with me in the morning?"

He shook his head again, lifting his hips every so slightly so you could hook your finger under his pants and start the process of tugging them off. "Well, there's your answer." You pulled them down his thighs, getting them to his ankles before he helped kick them off the side of the bed. You gripped his thighs with one hand, the other motioning towards his boxers. "May I?"

There was the lopsided grin you loved so much. He gave a quick affirmation, nodding his head with a playful, "So polite." Despite his eased assurance, you could tell he was still nervous. You knew this would be your first time, but you wondered if this might be his.

Your hand came up to intertwine with his, sliding his boxers off with one hand as you dipped your face down to plant a saccharine kiss to his forehead. There was a pleasant shiver up his spine when he was fully exposed, completely naked and bare for you to see him in his entirety.

Still, even when confronted with the countless scars on his body, you dipped down to his torso to worship every bit of skin you could get your greedy lips on. He shook with an added fervor when you kissed at his top scars.

The tremors got even worse when you were finally situated between his legs. He bashfully averted eye contact when he could feel you looking at the parts of his body he was easily the most embarrassed of. It only got worse when he could feel the mattress shift when you laid all your weight on it.

He let out a shaky moan when you delicately planted a kiss on his folds. Sensitive, he was far too sensitive. Generally, you had an okay idea of what you were doing in theory. The real advantage here was your impossibly quick ability to learn exactly what made him tick.

Your touch was ticklish against his skin when you pushed his legs over your shoulders. He felt beyond vulnerable when he really was completely on display for your eyes to see and your featherlight touch to roam.

You licked between the lips tentatively and slowly, waiting to see which part your tongue ran over would make him squirm the most. You drank in the noises he made and the trembling of his thighs around your head when you parted him open with your fingers. You closed your eyes when you placed a kiss where you could only guess the clit was.

When you earned a quiet whine in return, you turned a majority of your attention to the spot. First, it was a lick, and then it turned into experimental sucking until the nub hardened under your attentive care. His fingers wrapped themselves in the tresses of your hair, pulling on your scalp with each and every sensation that coursed through his body.

Eventually, you set your sights just below the spot you'd been taking care of before. With a hesitant sense of uncertainty, you pressed your tongue flat against the opening. You were rewarded with a harsh yank and a breathless call of your name.

You withdrew your tongue to savor his taste before you delved back in again. You drew little circles around his slit before further pinning his lips open so you could truly go to town on him. You pushed your tongue inside of him slowly, a rush of pride rolling down your back with the sigh that emitted from his lips.

Subconsciously, he pushed his hips closer to your face. Your nose rested against his clit for a moment before you started to explore his insides. His walls twitched around your tongue in tandem with the twitching of his thighs flexing and unflexing around your head. Your movements were slow, noting and taking in each and every little reaction to each and every one of your delicate touches.

He got impatient, a needy whimper pulled from his throat when he ground his pelvis against your face. To accommodate him, you sped up quickly, trying to remember which spots to hit inside while you did so. The building heat only seemed to worsen when your fingers came up to his clit, brushing against it so gently with both your nose and pads of your fingertips.

You drew lazy little tight circles on the nub, savoring his taste on your tongue while he all but did his best to ride your face. Soon enough, your other hand was at his entrance just barely warming the skin on the inside of his thighs before they joined your tongue inside of him.

One finger to start with, slowly going in and out at the same pace as your tongue. Then a second joined. At this point, it was getting hard to keep his noises quiet. A louder moan broke the soft atmosphere when you started to scissor your fingers apart to stretch him open. You started to speed up your movement at the insistence of his own rocking hips against your face.

You let out a muffled groan when his legs clamped around your head. The vibrations sent him careening over the edge as his back arched up into a beautiful curve. He spasmed around your tongue, mouth open in a beautiful mewl as you did your best to nurse him through it.

You pulled away from him, lips stained with slick and a different drunken haze in your eyes. You smiled as you watched him catch his breath. You wiped his release off your hand on the comforter of your bed, moving up again to hold his hands. Both of you were panting, one from a lack of oxygen, the other to catch their breath while they were coming down from the clouds above.

You smiled wide at him, obviously very proud of your work. "How was it? I didn't disappoint, did I?"

He closed his eyes as an embarrassed flush washed over his face. Chest still heaving as he did his best to breathe, he muttered out a quick, "Virgin my ass."

You chuckled against his skin, kissing his cheek. "Do you want to keep going? We can call it a night from here."

He shook his head, "No, I'm still good to go as long as you are."

You nodded, "Would you want to keep going in this position or is there another one you have in mind that might be more comfortable for you?"

He seemed to think for a minute, finally settling on one of the thoughts flying around his head. "I guess I've got something in mind."

"Oh fuck- Right, Right there-"

You stroked his sides lovingly, angling yourself to hit the same spot over and over again. Though, it wasn't as though you had much say in it.

You gave a particularly loud grunt when Scar let himself sink the entire way down, his thighs all but giving out on him as he tried to keep on going. There was sweat dripping down his entire body as he tried to pick himself back up, but he realized pretty shortly after that there really was no hope for him.

From his position on top, he leaned down to get a sweet taste of your lips and the remnants of liquor from your tongue. Pleasant sensations racked his body as you picked up his hips with your hands and brought him back down. He moaned into the kiss, his hands scrunching up into fists against your own sweat stained chest. He pulled away shortly after, chest rising and falling rather quickly. Sweetly, he requested, "A little help?"

You nodded, just barely out of it. You hooked your arms underneath his knees, pushing him softly onto his back. He molded into a curve, all but drooling at the tingles that exploded all over from the sudden shift in position. If that wasn't enough, it seemed you pressed even harder into his cervix and his stomach when you hiked his legs up over your shoulders. You ground your pelvis into his for a short second, but if felt like ages with the aftershocks wreaking havoc on Scar's poor brain.

You pulled out just halfway before easing your way back in, basking in the warmth that was the soft groan passing from Scar's lips. You repeated the same motion again, leaning down just like your partner did to paint his shoulders in your little marks. With the mix of shy ecstasy coursing through his body and a taste of your mouth on his skin, it felt like Scar was high on some kind of newly invented drug.

You shifted a little before moving your hips again, pulling out just enough to leave only the tip of your dick inside before slamming in to the hilt. "Right there?"

His jaw dropped in a silent scream, clamping down on you extremely lewdly. His eyes fluttered shut as the noise trapped in his throat escaped in a shaky call of your name again. He nodded his head quickly upon finally registering your question. "Just like that- Ah fuck! That was absolutely perfect."

He waited in anticipation as the slow drag of your erection in his walls sent another wave of pleasure careening through his nervous system, all but toppled by the sudden crash of your pelvis against his ass again. He let out a groan, only complimented by the sounds of your lips suctioning to his collarbone.

You started to set your pace, just a little faster than he'd been while he'd been riding. It wasn't much, but it seemed to be just enough to edge him closer to the finish line. His intestines tied themselves into a knot all while it felt like you were boring a hole into his uterus.

Despite all his act for being a big bad overseer while he was on the job, while he was in your bed, in your arms with his knees pushed up to his shoulders, he turned into a soft-hearted crybaby. He could feel your pace pick up as you twitched inside of him. The caress of your dick inside of him only made the knot in his intestines get tighter as he struggled to breath properly.

Usually, he was quick with his retorts and quips. He could only listen as they were reduced to nothing but throaty whines of you name and begging for more, sweet noises that melded with the creaking and slamming of your headboard against the wall.

He held onto your shoulders in a death grip, palms pressed flat against your boiling hot skin right next to his own legs. His nails curled into your shoulder blades, leaving delectable little red lines in a sweet mark of ownership.

"Shit, shit-" He clamped down around you again, chest pressing further against yours when your fingers came to draw messy circles on his clit. Hiding his face under your chin, he couldn't help the string of curses that dripped past his lips like honey. "Ohouh Fuck~ Shit~ Ahahn~"

Tears that'd been brewing for the past half hour the two of you had tumbled around in the sheets started to flow down his cheeks. The onslaught of euphoria all over his body sent his mouth flying open as he finally spasmed around your cock, walls fluttering like a vice.

This time, it was your turn to swear as you did your best to fight against the suction of his slit. You pulled out just barely in time to cum on his stomach.

The two of you did your best to catch your breath as you unhooked his legs from your shoulders, basically collapsing next to him on the bed like a boulder. He couldn't help the urge to nuzzle himself up to your side, only further encouraged when you wrapped a lazy arm around him and pulled him in closer.

He hid his face against the sweaty skin of your stomach. He curled into a little ball, suddenly very aware of the air that the two of you had previously been warming up. Luckily, it seemed you had a built in radar for his needs. Quickly and silently coming to the rescue, you dropped one of your fluffier blankets on top of him.

He pulled it around his shoulders gratefully before going back to basking in the warmth of the skin on your tummy. You sleepily tousled his hair before finally sitting up with a grunt.

He perked up immediately, automatically a little upset that you were already going to leave. "Where are you going?"

You yawned, "I'm going to go fill up the bathtub. " You snickered at him before playfully flicking his forehead, "Did you think I was going to bed feeling like a sweat monster?"

"No welcome home?"

Automatically, your head shot up from where you were bent over checking in some of your droopier crops.

In front of you stood your boyfriend of a year in all of his bright-red glory. Just as quickly as you registered that he'd actually come home after being gone for a few weeks, your face brightened up.

No later than that, you were scrambling to your feet and breaking out into a sprint towards him. The dirt crunching under your feet and the crops you were running through be damned, the moment you reached him, your mud-caked arms were around his red uniform to lift him up into the air.

His usual boisterous laugh ripped through the air as the clouds behind his head swirled into some amalgam of white you couldn't be bothered with. "I didn't expect you home for another week!"

He nodded, planting a wet kiss on your cheek just to hear the same laughter rattle from your own chest. "I just couldn't wait to see you again." The same lovestruck puppy eyes were all he could see before suddenly he was attacked with a flurry of lips attached to every square inch of his face.

He let you lavish him in all your pent up love graciously, a satisfied purr rumbling in his throat. Soon enough, you planted a long, lingering kiss on his lips, wrapping him up snug in your arms. You rested your chin on top of his head, secretly amused with the way he leaned forward to accommodate you.

Life wasn't always easy for the two of you, especially since the two of you had a rather unconventional relationship, but life was sweet.

He usually left for long periods of time on missions, he also did his best to stay away right after missions for fear of accidentally leading someone with less than pure intentions to your home. But every moment he had some time off to spend with you, he made the most of it.

By now, he'd also already told you of his mission with the Fractcidus. While you certainly didn't approve, you also conceded you didn't know enough about the political state of the Huanglong or Jinzhou to really judge him. Not only that, you really didn't have all the relevant information you believed would be needed to draw an informed conclusion on what exactly prompted his realization.

So, instead of breaking up with him for being a "monster", you just told him to be safe and you yourself kept out of his work related matters.

Perfect, right?

Well... almost.

Sometimes, staying away from home didn't exactly stop any weirdos from trying to sneak up on him in your house in the dead of night. Only to find a very cranky, very protective farmer with a Tacet Mark and enough pent up anger to fuel the capital.

If Scar just so happened to come home to see you dragging a body to the town medic, he couldn't exactly help the little rush of pride that washed over him. But most importantly, it brought him comfort to know that you were more than capable of protecting yourself when he was away from home.

The thing he had been most scared of when he first thought over his feelings was losing you. He didn't want to lose you to a dangerous life as one of the many Fractcidus Overseers working to achieve their end goal, he didn't want to lose you to your own differing moral values, and most of all, he didn't want to lose you because of his own risky life decisions that frankly didn't have anything to do with you.

The peace of mind that came with watching you, in your pajamas, lug an unconscious intruder to Old Man Runchu's shack in the morning after you'd woken and found them still knocked out in the kitchen was more than he could ask for. It also showcased your especially kind heart, being unwilling to truly injure someone who was intent on either killing or kidnapping you.

Especially cause if Scar was there, little more than their Skeleton would be left.

But that was a different matter all together.

He laced his fingers with yours, swinging both of your arms at your side. "What do you say we go to Miss Chunhua's stall for some Milky Fish Soup that you love so much?"

Immediately you picked up your chin from the crown of his head to plant a big wet sloppy kiss on your forehead, "You see honey, this is why I love you."

there's a note on the side of the phone booth, read it?

"rest is peace Scar's pussy zipper I miss you every day"

Oh my gosh hi guys

I'm back with another fic (not ayato mpreg) and this time it's for wuwa!!!

Writing this fic made me go back to playing the game and I finally finished the story quest and hello? Scar is so babygirl???? To the anon who requested this i'm including you in my will because I enjoyed writing it so much

I fear he might be a little ooc but I was possessed by some soft-hearted spirit while I was writing this

As always, requests are open and welcome but I might have to close them for a little bit cause I have like 7 in line right now LMFAOOOO

speaking of requests, i'm going to get around to adding a waiting list for requests just so you guys can see what's coming up and potentially when requests might open again, y'know y'know

kthxbye

- love, 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘵-19

[arceespinkgun]

I think I've reached my last nerve with how TF fans treat Jazz on here and on AO3, and I feel the need to rant about it. Obligatory "not all Jazz fans" and "not all JazzProwl fans" disclaimer here... if this doesn't sound like it's describing the content you make or enjoy, then it's not. Honestly, I don't think this angry rant is going to convince anybody of anything, but I'm posting it because I want to make it clear that people see this and are aware it's racist.

Never let it be said that racism isn't thriving in the TF fandom on Tumblr and AO3, because so much Jazz fan content is the most blatantly racist shit. And it's nowhere near as bad on other sites that people here usually claim are more racist—I've never seen what I'm about to describe on r/transformers, for example. TF fans on here often claim to love Jazz so much and say he's one of the best, most unhateable TF characters along with Soundwave, but do they ACTUALLY love Jazz?

Tumblr and AO3 users when they see this great, heavily Black-coded hero: We love Jazz! Ooh, what if he was a slave? What if he was hyper-violent? What if he was a disruptive chaos gremlin? What if he was hypersexual? What if he was lazy and never did his work? What if he was a drug addict? What if he was a prostitute? What if he had an evil alter? What if he used to be/was secretly a Decepticon? What if he was a notorious criminal? What if he was literally some kind of bestial monster?

I've actually seen people on Tumblr asking if Jazz being a Decepticon or having an evil alter was ever canon. Well, let this be a PSA: none of this shit is fucking real! I've seen almost all the media Jazz is in, and none of this reflects how he's been portrayed, ever! Apparently people posting links and screenshots and GIFs showing what Jazz has actually been like in canon hasn't caused people to self-reflect, because this shit is still somehow super popular and even filtering doesn't screen even close to all of it! And I've seen in real-time people who are newer to the fandom getting tricked by all this racist fanon and then being drawn into it, thinking it reflects something when it doesn't! That's one of the things that bothers me most!

And then there's the other half of this, which is the immense popularity of JazzProwl. Putting aside how ridiculous it is that a ship between characters who haven't had a positive interaction in fifteen years is somehow the most popular ship in this fandom, half of all the Jazz content I see on sites like Tumblr also stars Prowl, as if Jazz isn't an arguably more prominent character with tons of unexplored stuff of his own going on. But that's the least of it. How the hell do I constantly see people uncritically post shit with this ship like Prowl trying to arrest or pull over a chaotic criminal Jazz? Or shooting at him? Or white savior, copaganda, anti-sex work garbage like Prowl as a cop rescuing prostitute/stripper Jazz from exploitative working conditions (I'm not making this shit up)? (Also, @ people who make content in which Prowl is Jazz's slave—I see you too, and you're not woke. You are still linking Black people to slavery as your first thought and then assuming it's subversive to flip the dynamic you'd expect to see. You're getting off on slavery and still including a Black-coded hero in your shit.)

Even the majority of the much milder content I see is still ridiculously OOC and plays into racist tropes in its own ways. Like how 90% of JazzProwl content shows a lazy, distractible Jazz endlessly trying to get Prowl to relax by disrupting his work or playing pranks or some shit. What media does that come from? Oh yeah, it comes from nowhere, because it's just old fanon that's been endlessly regurgitated by people who aren't realizing how making this up plays into offensive stereotypes about Black men and boys. Hey, if you people love this boring dynamic so much, maybe look at the canon relationships that are similar to it instead of forcing characters who don't fit it whatsoever into these roles without thinking about the implications!

And guess what? I've repeatedly seen literal proof that basically everyone who thinks they like this ship hasn't ever seen the characters interact in canon, too—every so often somebody on here will ask why JazzProwl is popular and ask for fans to share the canon media that made them ship it... and inevitably nobody can share anything, which is hilarious every time. Sometimes people will admit it's all fanon. In fact, the other day I saw a link to a fic from the very early 2000s that claims to be the super-influential, first JazzProwl fic ever making the rounds on Tumblr, and guess what? I looked at it and it was already super fucking racist, with Jazz being described as chaotic and not a hard worker and it had Prowl angrily shooting at him!!!

Jazz is one of my favorite characters and I'm so sick of this shit! Normally I love transformative works and new interpretations of characters, but in this case the fanon is so horrid and has always been horrid, so either try to examine Jazz in canon and portray him based on it, or be a fan of a different character! And fucking REMEMBER that this is a Black-coded hero, damn it! I saw a fic the other day that made me literally choke on my drink because it had Blaster (also a Black-coded hero) describing Jazz as a "spook!" THAT DOES NOT JUST MEAN SPY, THAT'S A RACIST, ANTI-BLACK SLUR!!! And this isn't even getting into how people in fic have Jazz talk! Jazz in all the media I've seen speaks very clearly and rarely has any kind of accent, but I constantly see white people attempting to write his dialogue phonetically in a way that feels straight out of Uncle Tom's Cabin. What the fuck is this?!

Also, petty, but the fans who make and consume this kind of content in my opinion don't then get to relentlessly criticize something like Earthspark, which has a cast and crew of people of color, by claiming it undermined its themes and is racist!

[savagewildnerness]

What a gorgeous interview with Assad.  Imagine being him… you audition for a minor role… then all of a sudden you’re Armand… then you’re not Armand for S1, then you watch S1 and it’s incredible and in S2 you’re Armand and you actually have the largest role in the entire season 2 and THEN your first scenes are that gigantic argument with Louis and all of episode 5 in which you have to be absolutely peak 100% essence-of-Armand and in the back of your mind is like “Wow, if S2 fails, it will be MY FAULT!”  The pressure!!! And then Armand is just THE most complex character and has the most heartbreaking backstory and you have to convey him truthfully. It's all A Lot!!!

Anyway, as to the interview, you should listen to Assad talk beautifully about it rather than me yammer on. Every week, my first thought after watching a new episode is how I want to shout from the rooftops how magnificent Assad is! He is Too Incredible.

Leaving Interview With the Vampire aside (so you can stop reading here!) and turning inwards...

...the first bit made me sad on a personal level.  Who are the teachers trying to encourage shy children to act (so many actors talk this way and it seems SO alien to me!) and where were they in my life?!  There was no drama in my secondary school (in lessons we were taught at least, hahaha!) but in my primary school, Reception (age 4/5) did the nativity, Year 4’s (age 8/9) did the Christmas play and year 6’s (age 10/11) did the Summer play. It was a big school so no other years were involved in any play or any drama.

When I was 8, in year 4, the Christmas play was going to be A Christmas Carol and I desperately wanted to be in the play.  I had visions of playing Martha.  Anyway, there were around 100 children in each school year, BUT my class teacher was the Director of the play.  You couldn’t just audition to be in the play, you had to be invited to try out for it… but (admittedly very quiet, silent and shy) 8-year-old me said to my teacher that I’d like to audition for the play, and she…. LAUGHED IN MY FACE & said “hahaha, you can’t audition!  You’re WAY too quiet!”

And because I was way too quiet, I didn’t fight it.  I just took the “No.” Hahaha. And I learned that I was too quiet to have that kind of a dream & that I had been totally stupid to ever even imagine it. I only got quieter & less confident from that age onwards really, too.

But - It all worked out OK as I did actually play the leading boy in the year 6 play we did… only I know because it was a musical and all the 11-year-old boys had voices that were breaking so it was bad timing for them, thus I got the role.  And I REALLY FOUGHT for it.  In a way o don’t think I ever fought for any other thing in life. Stuff just happened to me? I think I was rubbish.  To audition for that, we had to make up our own scene and act it out, and I was good at thinking of imaginary worlds which was, I am sure the only reason I got to do that. But I did it. And it was the start and end. I remember I had to say “Don’t be respondent love” at one point and everyone laughed at this little kid saying those words. And I cried in a rehearsal (because the character was sad) and the teacher AGAIN said “Are you crying?” And the other children laughed at me.

But there was no drama as I say in my secondary school… and anyway, from age 11 onwards I became a lot more insecure.  And seeing as everyone had always told me I was just a silent, shy thing I had nothing to fall back on to believe and I just believed that was all I was and I couldn’t achieve anything.

I recently met my music teacher from secondary school in fact and I was a music person in school as you might imagine and she said “Wow, I can’t believe you have a job.  You were always so quiet.”  So that’s great!  I always did well in exams, but apparently I was quiet to such an extreme extent, even a teacher of a subject that I was notable enough at that the teacher remembers me literally thought I would have zero ability to ever function in the real world.

I can’t say she was wrong! *Unfunctioning*!!! Hahaha

I really related to Assad's tales of secondary school. I was good at maths at school and did Further Maths A-level and I was the only person in the school to do it so had 1-1 lessons. In every single maths lesson (I'm not a kid at this stage obviously! I'm 16-18!) I sat with my teacher in SUCH utter silence that you would hear both of out stomachs rumbling. LOLOLOL, it was SO awkward. I can't articulate to you how at that age I literally could not do talking at all. It would make me want to laugh the way you'd hear our stomachs having a conversation, ahahahahah.

I made that all about ME! Oops.  But hey.  Storytime with me!  I still believe I am terrible at All Things. And I don't think I am as quiet now, but I know other people perceive me that way still. Oh well. I am silent and alone and that's fine. Words are overrated unless written or spoken by others, anyway!

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Questions (Since I can't use the askbox anonymously anymore)

Hi! I don’t really agree with you on everything about Miraculous Ladybug, but I thought I might ask you some questions here since I don’t want to make an account to do so and I can’t use the anonymous ask anymore without one.

1. I Assume that your Chloe vs Daruizen post will probably attempt to compare a character who may have been teased as being potentially redeemable before pulling a fakeout vs one who quite possibly wasn’t (and had the show try to pretend otherwise). I’ve seen an essay arguing that Chloe wasn’t meant to be redeemed from another fan, so I would be interested in seeing if you would respond to some of their points.

2. Honestly, I haven’t seen a lot of good things about other Zagtoon shows – I remember Ghostforce in my mind stands out because the comments on the site I found it on describe it as a terribly formulaic Danny Phantom Meets Power Rangers setup, and they also mention other shows by Zagtoon, which they see as average at best. I know Miraculous Ladybug has its flaws and I shouldn’t necessarily be listening to strangers on the internet for opinions but if it’s the best/most successful show that Zagtoon can put out then it certainly seems like they have a problem, especially overambition. I could see them being like telltale games in that they have a huge hit or two and several flops that try to repeat the success but instead gradually drag the studio down.

3. I do feel that more of the fandom would be okay (not necessarily happy, just feeling a bit better) about Gabriel winning if Adrien found out about his father being Hawkmoth (and maybe got to finally have a permanent reveal to ladybug) and we at least got to see him decide on what to think about him knowing that. The antagonist winning can be a huge gamble in writing, for better (Watchmen - where it was thematically appropriate) or worse (Re: Creators – in fact, I think if you watched this show you would compare its main villain to Gabriel in some ways). Though, maybe it might be the other way around and the fandom would have preferred Ladybug winning for good without Cat Noir’s help (and him and the rest of Paris not finding out Gabriel was Hawkmoth), if the choice came down to that or my other proposal. Hell, just to ask you, which would you have preferred?

4. Do you think they are going to reveal that the Utopian Paris happened naturally (to push their messaging) or because of Gabriel’s wish? I would prefer the latter, as it would imply that Gabriel ruined another city/country in the process, which would give a good plot hook and remind us that he was still ultimately a villain. Finding a way to undo the damage would be another good plot.

5. I heard in the interview you did that there has been a bit of resentment against Jeremy Zag. I don’t really know why – is that because he just didn’t do anything about Astruc’s bad decisions, because he was apparently (as) difficult to work with, or something else? I do give him a bit more respect than Astruc for making the movie(s), at least.

--------------------------------------------------------

1. The main idea for that post (assuming I ever wrire it) is more to compare two irredeemable villains who have a history with the main character, and why I think Dariuzen does everything Chloe was meant to do, but better.

2. The issue with ZAG is that they keep coming up with poorly marketed shows and pointless Miraculous Ladybug specials. It’s a case of overambition at its finest.

3. All we really wanted was for Adrien to get some kind of closure with his dad after all the years the show spent tackling their tense relationship. That’s what so many people liked about the movie, that Adrien was able to appeal to Gabriel’s humanity and make him give up. Hell, if you wanted to split up the two, make it so they’re both doing something. Have Ladybug lead the charge against the Miraculized while Cat Noir fights Monarch.

4. I feel like it’s unfortunately going to skew towards the latter. People keep saying that the show meant to make the ending uncomfortable, but not only did the writers’ commentary confirm that they were done with the Agreste family arc, even the marketing seems to believe that Gabriel was a good man.

5. My best guess is that it’s the same problem most writers and executives run into: creative differences.

[yanderederee]

For the yandere mbti could you write for

Tr: Baji

Wind breaker: Togame Jo

Please (*'∀'*)

This is my first time writing for Togame, so I really hope I did him justice here!!♡

small reminder that these are yandere headcanons, so if characters seems ooc, that is why! pls be kind..!

yandere mbti event page : here!

Baji Keisuke - RAHL

- Reverent:Aware:Honest:Lenient

Baji Keisuke might be a cruel motherfucker who has no qualms in being abrasive— but he will Never, EVER, be that way towards his darling.

Baji is extremely gentle and thoughtful of his darling always. It’s less of a reverent or worshipping type of love, as it’s more of a suffocating and careful love.

No one is trustworthy enough to be by your side. No one will take care of you or look out for you the same way he will.

Baji is and always will be your protector and shield against anything that would cause you mental or physical harm.

While it would make everything a lot easier if you would just love him back, Baji isn’t the type to delude himself into falsifying anything about you. He wants to real and true you. Even if the real you doesn’t love him, he is willing to accept that, because despite that, he truly does love you. And nothing will change that.

Baji’s aware that his actions can be suffocating or over the top, but does not give a single fuck, if it’s for your sake.

Loving Baji and accepting him for his brashness is definitely favorable, however. The further you grow from him, the more blood will be shed. The closer you are, the easier it becomes to protect you in less violent ways.

When it comes down to manipulation, Baji’s…. Okay, hear me out.

Canon Baji was able to very masterfully manipulate all of Toman into believing he was a deserter who betrayed them all. So canonically, Baji has the skills to manipulate people effectively.

However, I don’t think Baji likes actively lying to his darling. He’s not the type to think “no matter what, I need them to love me.”

So to me, I feel like Baji is more Honest about his actions. He will sugar coat it, so you don’t become weary of him, but he doesn’t like lying to you. Ex; “hah? What about your childhood friend? Yeah, I had a talk w’th ‘im… I might’a thrown a punch or two… so what, he started it. Tch… whatever, don’t worry about that loser anymore.”

It’s not like your feelings aren’t important to him though ! If he really thinks being too honest about his actions will permanently push you away or actively hate him, and he can help it, he will manipulate the truth for your benefit.

The last trait can be argued back and forth. I originally had him as a strict yandere, but the rules Baji has are less for you to follow, and more for everyone else.

I see Baji as a lenient Yandere who prioritizes your happiness and safety, instead of making you HIS possession.

Baji likes giving you freedom, because again, he wants to love you for who you are, not who he makes you be. So rather than limiting your ability to do things, he limits the possibly of bad things ever happening to you.

Still, Baji is very intense and if he thinks enough is enough, there’s no refuting it. At the end of the day, he is still the one with all the power over you.

Togame Jo - RAML

- Reverent:Aware:Manipulative:Leanient

Togame has a tendency to idolize the ones he falls in love with. He is willing to sacrifice important parts of himself in order to make his darling happy.

He becomes so reverent in worshipping his darling, so much so that it becomes a widely known fact. There’s no one in town who breaths that doesn’t know of your relationship… even if you aren’t actually in a relationship.

He just loves you so much! Even if you aren’t interested (how?), Togame remains protective. “It ain’t gatta be true hun, no one’s gonna mess with ya now, n’ that’s what matters.”

Togame isn’t the type to fall into delusions. He might act delusional as a manipulative farce, but is generally aware that his love for you is obsessive and over the top. That’s fine.

He doesn’t expect you to love him back, but ultimately, that IS his end goal. Togame wants you to fall in love with him. To need him, and rely on him— of your own free will, not because he makes himself believe you do.

Of course, there’s no harm in bending the truth a little to achieve this, he thinks. Togame is very skilled in manipulating you. He lies constantly. Whispering in your ear make up lies your friends tell about you to everyone else, turning you against everyone until he is your only ally.

Always happy to play the role of the good guy in your eyes, swooping in to save you from a ring of bad guys (that he may have threatened into going to talk to you). Is ecstatic when you ask him to walk you home after being stalked for the last few nights (you still can’t tell it’s actually just him, purposely making you feel unsafe whenever he isn’t around for this very reason).

Togame considers keeping you on a tight leash. Having you all to himself, cooing in your ear daily about how complacent you’ve become to his love… but he imagines you becoming a shell of yourself, without any freedom.

As pleasurable of a thought keeping you locked up is to him, he can’t fathom losing you. He might have your body, but if he were to ever lose your love, voice, or smile, he would go insane.

Again, Togame would go insane without you. No matter how little of you he can have, he will always have something to crave, as long as you are you. Even if he must hurt people or himself in the process, he will worship you and happily take any scrap of attention you give him.

Togame is lenient with you for your sake, so don’t go messing that up by breaking his heart and trying to date other people…

[corpse-water]

okay so i’ve had some time to discuss jade shadows with buddies and digest the full story.

tw for talks about misogyny and pregnancy

okay so this update was bad. i’m not gonna really like. sugarcoat this at all. it was bad. it’s bad from a writing perspective, it’s bad for future story elements in the game, it makes the stalker look like a stupid asshole. for an update that was selling itself as a lore-heavy piece, it kind of told us a lot of nothing and then just said a lot of other shit.

jade shadows is not an issue because of its themes of motherhood. it’s not an issue because there is a pregnant woman there. it’s not an issue because stalker is a dad. it’s not an issue because it’s a straight love story. and i’m saying all these things upfront because i feel like people are misinterpreting the issues that others have with this specific quest. it isn’t because of any of that. people aren’t butt hurt because this wasn’t a toxic yaoi update or because stalker wasn’t transed. that isn’t the point.

warframe has shown us interesting stories from/about woman before. from exploitation by the orokin and others down to lotus’ struggles with motherhood. these stories have been present since the game’s conception and they’re been important in the plot before. so they’re capable of writing a story about women that doesn’t reduce them to baby makers or weak or helpless in the face of struggle and suffering.

i think having a story in the game about a pregnant warframe isn’t even bad. i don’t care. i think it would squick people out but, it very genuinely could be another story about the orokin attempting to take autonomy away from people. motherhood is important for some people and it could have been an interesting story about that! about taking back autonomy from an empire that sought to completely remove that from its lower caste of people. that is to say if jade had been given… any? autonomy? at all? we’re never even shown what she does in order to protect stalker? we don’t get speaking lines from her? she just lays there and is pregnant. she literally serves the narrative device of being a pretty incubator. when did they meet? has she just been pregnant the whole time? for a thousand years? what is happening? hello? it’s so dark in here. (i have a lot of issues with the pregnancy from a narrative and story writing perspective.)

you can also have a story about fatherhood. again, it could have been a story about two people fighting against a system that sought to exploit them. to strip away the autonomy of choosing to be a parent, of choosing to be a father, of choosing to be present for the child. there is a lot to say about how the orokin hurt and exploited people and having a story from the perspective of would-be parents having their humanity stripped from them would have been a good story. it would have been really interesting to see! and DE is completely capable of writing that story.

i think this confuses the stalker’s motivations, too. why would he hate the tenno if the orokin had done this to his pregnant gf? what do the tenno have to do with literally anything here? is it because of the power vacuum left behind after the orokin were killed off? (in before people are like “we’re not getting the full story on purpose” or “we don’t have enough information yet”: then it shouldn’t have been told to us that it was going to be a lore-centric quest. because it wasn’t. so i get to complain about getting no information in the quest that was supposed to have at least some information.)

once again, and i cannot get over this at all, jade has no speaking role. she has not capacity to express her wishes or autonomy at all. she doesn’t move. she gives birth and then she dies. we hear from literally everyone else that “this is what she would have wanted” and “we have to honor her memory” but any opportunity at all for the character herself to express literally anything is… not there! she’s given no substance, no action, no voice. and the narrative bends over backwards to portray that this is what she wants. this is what is right. and you hear it from almost everyone else other than… the person whose body is at stake. you hear it from ordis who had never met jade or even knew her or could know what she wanted. you hear it from hunhow who… why would he know? he also didn’t talk to jade?

all in all, it was a messy, rushed, and narratively confusing and frustrating quest. it gave us pretty much nothing, confused people’s motivations, gave us a pregframe (as an aside: isn’t it kind of fucked up that you’re building the frame to be pregnant. again. isn’t that fucked up? you’re puppetting around a dead pregnant woman? anyone else?) and… a warframe baby? i guess?

“it’s about fatherhood and the sanctity of life”. it’s barely about fatherhood at all, actually. i would argue that narratively fatherhood is barely present in the game. you hold baby. you go to the moon. that’s what fatherhood is, i guess! like sure… whatever…. corpus lady steps aside for a warframe baby. guys what’s happening here. what’s going on.

0/10. DE you can save this by letting me bullet jump as the baby. you made infant prime a reality. now take it back.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Defend Your Blurbo Submission (this is LONG—1105 words, sorry!)

Dorsal Fin Appreciation or Lack Thereof

Hear me out y’all, but Arlong the Saw seriously needs more love in this fandom than he is getting. This is not a plea to the folks who don’t go feral at all for anyone in One Piece, this plea is for my fellow One Piece fans. Why so angry?

Out of all the villains in the entire franchise, and I am 100% ignoring the Live Action by Netflix—this is about OG canon Arlong from the anime (haven’t really read the manga yet), he seems to be the most hated. I have seen more genuine love and affection for Kleenex Boi Trebol than I have for He Carries Two Fish Sticks Everywhere He Goes Arlong.

Yes, he did conquer an island in the East Blue. Yes, he did extort money from the citizens monthly (effectively making him a loan shark). Yes, he took a young Nami and had her work for him, originally under horrible circumstances. And yes, he did kill Nami’s adoptive mother Bell-Mere. I feel like y’all shut him out of fandom love simply for killing Bell-Mere.

Out of all the villains that regularly see love, he killed a whopping one person. One.

He let Bell-Mere give parting words to her girls, he let her say goodbye, and he actually killed her rather quickly. He didn’t torture her, didn’t rape her, didn’t drag anything out. He stated that if you can’t pay, you die. He didn’t lie. She couldn’t pay so she died. Arlong is very cut-and-dry, you know exactly what you’re going to get with him.

Compare him to someone like Eustass Kid, who has killed way more innocent people than Arlong ever will. Kid got his bounty based on his egregiously high civilian casualty count. His big bad bounty came from innocent blood being spilled, that’s what makes Kid so damn dangerous to the government. Because let’s face it, he fails as much as Buggy does in the whole pirating thing. He took on Kaido at least once and lost and he took on Shanks twice and lost. He doesn’t win his pirate battles; he just wins at killing people who can’t defend themselves against him. And y’all eat him up like candy.

Arlong kills one backstory character and he’s the most hated man in One Piece. He’s better looking than Hody Jones and many other characters, he’s more humane than even he wants to admit, and he had great character development too.

He started off treating Nami like a slave or a pet and in ten years’ time grew to consider her a valued officer and crew mate. He wasn’t just fighting to keep his cartographer; he was fighting to keep the only female member of his pirate family from leaving.

Doflamingo killed his own father when he was a child, murdered his own brother, murdered countless other people, and overthrew a fucking country. And y’all drool over him like a stuck pig at a luau.

Arlong was a pretty solid pirate all things considered. He plundered consistently over the course of 10 years and built himself an empire on land rather than a fleet. He had a cunning plan. He had minions within the Marines (just as Doffy did with Vergo, but Arlong’s were actual marines), so he infiltrated through human frailty. He only committed one act of murder.

He had all the maps, a creature from the Grand Line and let’s not forget he and all but one of his crew were also from the Grand Line. He kicked ass. He even had convictions; he wasn’t all about himself. He cared about his own species, every single member of his crew, and he never turned on any of them. He did exploit a loophole with Nami but regarding his own people, he treasured all of them.

When they did something wrong or disagreed with him, he never harmed them. He didn’t treat them like shit. Their lives were precious to him. Hody Jones not only abused other fishmen/fishwomen, but he also flat out killed them. He murdered his own monarch and any fishman who didn’t agree with him 100% was killed. Arlong would fall on his own sword before even letting so much as the idea of killing any of his own kind cross his mind.

When Arlong did have disagreements with other fishmen, he just separated from them and went his own way. He never killed his own kind, wouldn’t dream of it. Arlong has lines in the sand that he will not cross, he has boundaries and respects them. Arlong actually has morals that he adheres to. Hody Jones is amoral, and Doffy isn’t far behind. Hell, Arlong has more solidified convictions and morals than Sakazuki, who like Hody, kills his own subordinates if they disagree with him.

Arlong really isn’t that villainous of a villain. In my opinion, he is a deeply traumatized person who never dealt with his trauma. He bottled it all up and is slowly consuming him. He’s damaging himself by doing that and he is able to be mislead by thinking he’s doing right and following solid ideals. He truly believes his species is superior and he truly believes that they need to rise up and take their freedom.

Now, he isn’t wrong. Fishmen are treated horribly and they do need to take their freedom, but treating humans the exact way they have been treated is also wrong. Arlong is so deeply wounded that he hasn’t figured that part out yet. He was starting to with Nami evolving in his crew. He even admitted to her intelligence and skill a few times, he was slowly starting to mend his ways when she left.

Arlong is deeply traumatized, misguided, but redeemable. And yet, no one gives him a chance. How can you all heap the love on civilian slaughterer Kid, pirate failure Buggy, snotastic Trebol, familicide Doffy, royal traitor Crocodile, domestic terrorist Sakazuki (because like me, some of y’all out there love him too), fish gutter Hody Jones, delulu “deity” Enel, lard ass Blackbeard, or giant psycho Kaido with the scrawny legs that shouldn’t be able to support him but y’all can’t find three nice things to say about Arlong the Saw and his glorious dorsal fin?

I mean come on! Have you seen that sexy dorsal fin of his? He’s tall, has luscious locks, teeth that regenerate, two fresh fish sticks in his pants, a cool ass sword, decent fashion sense, and he can breathe underwater which is just so cool.

Why must you hate him so? He’s not that bad all things considered.

Defend Your Blurbo #7

Please remember this post is about curiosity and genuine fandom discourse. Be kind with your answers because this is not a debate essay, this is a discussion between fans.

Well, in case anyone doesn't know who Arlong is, he's an early One Piece villain.

Now, this anon took a much different approach to the series than the others, so have fun with this and One Piece fandom. Defend your Blorbo

[transmascutena]

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

[puppyeared]

Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..

[infinitelystrangemachinex]

Come on, you know you want to, give us the character bingo for Viktor.

don't mind if i doooo

[quinn-pop]

happy cringe day wednesday guys here’s another thing i have no idea where to put <3

…i was trying to figure out their dynamic lol

[tenok]

.

[dbphantom]

maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...

[bmpmp3]

i know love triangles are a contentious topic but sometimes a love triangle shoujosei manga will create the best most pathetic wonderfully embarassing little man BUT he's only this good Because theres a love triangle that gave him that character arc. or sometimes they'll give you the greatest gal pal on earth but only after she tries to kill the main character because they both have a crush on the same guy. i understand love triangles can be frustrating but sometimes they are. a necessary evil

[asmo-cosmetics]

mammon??? mammon obey me???