#Neil also deserved it for sure

[cxrontx]

"Mind never quiet."

Sometimes you can find the craziest spots for pictures on places you'd never expect. These, specifically, come from that jewelry and bard goodies store on the city. And also its not so secret hideout.

[vikingnerd793]

I am so, so sad I didn't feel well enough to try and drive the 5-7 hours or so to Syracuse to meet the cast and attend this panel but alas, plenty of people captured the panel as you can see.

First of all, GREAT answer from Neil. Second, Jennifer English is hilarious!!! Third, not the AO3 mention 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[gn001-re]

Silly headcanon but

What if Setsuna still believes in Santa because Neil once told him about the tradition and encouraged him to write a letter asking for a gift—and though Setsuna is initially reluctant, he actually received the model kit he asked for

Then years later he asks if Lyle knows how to contact Santa. Lyle is just "wtf no", so Setsuna accepts it was Neil's secret

[mykonossalome]

another strong look for the game awards tonight!

[buttsoclock]

Everyone is so mad at Neil Gaiman for the end of Good Omens season 2 (which I think is silly), but I have a much more personal issue to take up with him.

It started with Coraline, and that was bad enough (and by bad I mean specifically for my unique individual psychology--on the whole it's a wonderful story). See, I have two phobias: Spiders and needles. I also just have a thing about eyes.

So a story where this Other Mother wants to sew buttons into the eyes of the main character and then eventually turns into this spidery creature? Really kind of felt like Mr. Gaiman woke up one day and went, "There's one specific bitch out there who will be very upset by this specific combination of factors and I'm here to fuck her shit up."

(Did I still both read the book and watch the whole movie, with a blanket to hide behind even though I was probably 21 at the time? Of course I did, I make wonderful life choices, shhh.)

So yeah, a part of me already felt like Neil Gaiman was out to get me personally after that.

But it got so much worse. And to explain how, I need to explain why I'm arachnophobic. When I was 3, I had this dream that I was...somewhere, I don't remember where, and saw a spider. So I stepped on it and squished it.

Then I saw a couple more spiders, so I stepped on them and squished them.

Then I saw a bunch more. I wanted to get away from them, but there were a ton of them in every direction now. I turned toward the door to get the hell out of there, but saw that spiders were pouring in through the gap under the door.

I looked around then and noticed them coming from EVERYWHERE now--from cracks in the walls, between floorboards, etc. Pretty soon the spiders covered every surface--the floor, ceiling, and walls were visibly rippling from the movement of so many spiders.

And then they started to crawl up my legs and all over my body. I could feel them on my skin and in my clothes. They crawled over my eyes until I couldn't see. When I started to scream, they crawled in my mouth and down my throat. I remember waking up feeling like I was choking on something.

Let me reiterate, I was three years old when I had that dream. It's one of the first three memories I have of my life (it goes, the death of my dad's mom, getting my first dog, and that).

And then I continued to have that dream on a recurring basis, anywhere from once every couple months to sometimes as much as three times a night, for the next TWENTY-FIVE YEARS.

The waking up part was almost worse. Even once I was awake--really awake, enough to fully realize I wasn't dreaming anymore--I always imagined I could still feel something moving in the back of my throat and felt I would choke on it.

I can't tell you how much those dreams messed with me.

The dreams finally stopped in my late 20s. For a long time it made me anxious that they had stopped--like I was due for them to start up again any time now and maybe they'd be worse because of their absence. But I reached my 30s having not had that dream in two or three years.

Then in 2020 I picked up Anansi Boys for the first time, and imagine my fucking delight (and by delight I mean absolute horror) when I read a scene in which the main character's dream ends like this:

I started having that dream in probably 1993. Anansi Boys was published in 2005. I didn't read it for the first time until 2020, after being free of those dreams for at least three whole years, for the first time since I was barely old enough to form memories. I can't tell you what a trip it was to see that in a book by my favorite author.

It didn't go into a ton of detail about the dream or what the character felt. It didn't have to. As soon as I read it I felt that familiar feeling I used to have when I woke up from those dreams--like I was choking on something small with too many legs.

Let me tell you, I have slammed many a book down onto the table or bed, yelled, cursed, cried at them, but never have I actually thrown a book--except for this one. That felt personal.

So I would just like to thank @neil-gaiman for somehow, despite not knowing I exist, creating stories specifically designed to torment me individually. Super cool.

(I still finished the book. I still enjoyed the book. And in a weird way I loved the book that much more for it. I'm gonna be mad about it forever though.)

[emeraldserenade]

Glass Pilot ~ Robert "Bob" Floyd

synopsis: You were used to people ignoring you, never noticing what you did. But then there's the entire Dagger Squad, especially Bob.

tw: fem!reader, reader has glass child syndrome, reader's callsign is Mouse, Iceman lives because I say so, age gap (reader's 25 and Bob's 32), reader is under 6 foot (I'm sorry to my tall readers), reader punches two creeps in the bar, reader's dad own jets, mostly fluff but angst thrown in, barely edited.

fic, ficlet, drabble, request

Something about Robert Floyd makes me want to write until my fingers cramp. Also, sorry for not posting yesterday. I was in a lot of pain and I ended up at the ER at 8am this morning. Turns out I have a kidney stone way too early in life, going to the urologist Monday to find out more.

➽──────────────❥

When you were called back to TOP GUN, you weren't expecting much from the others. You figured it would be the same it always was, you'd stay in the background, do what you were told, and never disobey orders.

It's how you got your callsign, you never spoke unless someone spoke to you, thus Mouse is what people called you. You didn't hate it, it could have been worse, but you also didn't love it. You figured most people didn't like theirs, but you also couldn't be sure.

You were able to float around the bar without people noticing you, you watched as a pilot named Bob get noticed, yet not you. You were used to it, you could even stand by the pool table and not one person said anything to you.

Not until you ended up being seen by Callie, "Mouse!"

You floated over to her, your smile making it's way on your face. She was about the only person you've met that didn't care about how quiet you were. She seemed to just like your company and you were ok with her talking to you. "Hi, Halo," you greeted her, your voice barely heard over the loud music.

You let her talk to you for a while before you walked away and to the bar. You ended up sitting a few seats away from an older man, you eyed him for a moment before realizing who he was. You wanted to say hi, to introduce yourself before what you assumed was his class the next day. But you were too nervous, you didn't want to take his attention away from someone else that might deserve it more.

"What do they call you?" You heard him ask, you turned your head to him and stared for a moment.

"Mouse, sir," you replied and he laughed while nodding. "Are you the one they got to teach us?"

"I am, Captain Pete Mitchell, Maverick," he stuck his hand out and you shook it. The conversation died and you awkwardly stood, waved to him, and left the bar. You would beat yourself up about it once you get to your childhood home, the one your parents left to you when they moved to Florida.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

You were in the back, awkwardly sitting next to someone who introduced himself as Rooster, when Pete walked in. You watched as a blond's face fell but you looked away before he could notice.

You were flying with Callie and Neil, you watched as they decided to take the tone from Pete for you and decided it was time to stop playing nice. You knew you could get in trouble for flying the way you were about to, but you once told Callie and Neil that if they sacrificed themselves, you wouldn't let it go to waste. "That's a tone, Maverick," you softly called into the radio.

He let out a disbelieving laugh, "That it is, Mouse."

You climbed down from your jet and were met with Callie wrapping her arms around your neck. You smiled as you gently wrapped yours around her waist and she laughed. "You did it, Mouse!"

You nodded as you pulled away, watching as Pete walked over to Hondo for his 200 push ups. "Let's go see this!" Neil grabbed your arm and pulled you along, you awkwardly stood by Neil and Callie as you watched Pete start his push ups and Hangman, as you heard someone call him, finish his.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

"You got Maverick out?" It was a female voice, Natasha, you met her once before. You were standing in the room where everyone was waiting for Pete to finish his push ups and pick another group.

"Oh, uh, yeah," you affirmed as Pete walked in from his push ups.

"That was impressive, Mouse," Pete told you as he walked in and you ducked your head.

"Uh, thanks," you quickly told him, moving to sit in the far corner as he called another group of pilots. You stayed in the corner, watching as everyone got interested in the next round of pilots.

Bob was watching you though, the way you played with your own fingers and tapped your palm with the opposite hand's fingers every now and again. He noticed you the night at the bar, how you walked so delicately it seemed like you were floating. How you could stand in a group full of people, yet never noticed. How the only time he saw you smile and talk at the bar was when someone interacted with you first.

He noticed how only Callie and Neil were the only people who talked to you for seemingly no reason. How you always seemed shocked when they asked how you were doing and how you would always say you were fine. Bob also saw the way you did what he did, you watched others. You noticed what they did and how they held themselves.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

By the end of the day, you were the only one to successfully get Pete out. You were up in the air for the second time, this time flying with Natasha and Bob. You took a deep breath as you heard Callie talk into the radio, presumably through the added radio in the watch room. "Mouse, show them why you're here even though you're only 25," Callie told you.

"Ok," you mumbled, narrowing your eyes and recalling the way that Natasha and Bob flew earlier in the day. You flew with the two, listening to the way Bob and Natasha called out where Pete was. You dropped, fast, before swopping up and flying straight at Pete while he tried to lock onto the others. "That's a tone, Maverick," you called, a little louder then last time.

There was another laugh, more proud sounding, "It is, isn't it, Mouse?"

Callie and Neil met you as your climbed down the ladder of your jet again. This time, the rest of the pilots were with them, and you got hugs from more than just Callie. "Holy shit, Mouse! That's twice!" Callie squealed into your ear and you grimaced.

"That's two for two," Neil told you and you pursed your lips a little.

You gently pulled away from Callie with a small head shake. "It's nothing, really," you brushed the praise off, but then there was aggressive and offended shouts.

"Woah, Mouse!" It was Hangman, Jake as you learned was his given name, that shouted the loudest. "That's not nothing, you've got Mav doing 400 push ups in one day," he told you and you scrunched in on yourself as he freely roamed his eyes over you.

You brushed the words off with practiced ease again, "I couldn't have done it without the expert flying of Omaha and Phoenix." It seemed to do the trick as the attention turned from you and onto the others, but Bob approached you as you slunk to the edge of the group.

Bob kept his eyes off you, rightly assuming that his full attention would make you a little uneasy. "You're a good pilot, I don't know why you're so insistent on brushing off praise."

His words caught you off guard, and you shrugged as you talked. "I just don't deserve all of it."

"You're the one with the tones," Bob shook his head but you only shrugged again as Pete walked back into the hangar. The group celebrating still but Pete bypassed them all and stopped in front of you and Bob.

"I was warned about you, Mouse. Told that while you're quiet and sweet, you're not the same in the sky," Pete raised an eyebrow at you and you just stared at him.

You wracked your brain for a response, "I'm just flying the way I need to." Bob looked at you as you deflected more praise, even praise coming from your instructor.

Pete raised his eyebrow at you, "I was told about that too."

"About what, sir?"

"You're good at what you do, you never disobey orders, yet you never seem to accept compliments when given," he replied and you shrunk in yourself.

"Oh, uh," you were saved from having to answer by Jake yelling over to Pete.

"How were your push ups, Mav?" Jake taunted and Pete turned to look at him.

"You say that like you're the one to make me do them," Pete said and you took the time to walk with Callie back to the locker room.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

The Hard Deck was extra packed tonight, tag chasers were everywhere. You stayed at the bar, your phone securely tucked away so you wouldn't have to pay for the bar. Penny was cautiously eyeing some of the men in a booth, you made a silent vow to step in if needed.

You two both watched them approach the young college student to your left, she had been asking you for drink advice the whole night. Her 21st birthday was the day before and this was her first time going to a bar.

"What's a pretty lady like you doing alone?" The creep got into her face and you automatically spoke up, nervousness be damned.

"She's not alone," you told him, eyeing him and his friends.

"Oh, there's enough for both of you here," he told you and you raised an eyebrow. You watched his friends close in and try to grab the girl, you didn't think before you landed a punch on the main guys face.

"Oh!" You gasped as you heard the sickening snap of his nose and watch him fall to the floor. Every head turned to you as you stood there with your hands over your mouth, you turned to his friends who looked pissed. They grabbed their friend and hauled him out, not even bothering to say anything to you or the girl.

"Are you ok?" The girl grabbed your hand and pressed her cold cup into your knuckles. The bar slowly went back to normal and you looked at Penny who just smiled and gave you a thumbs up, telling you that it was ok and you could stay.

"Yeah, I'm fine," you told her, letting her obsess over your knuckles. You had learned earlier in the night that she was a premed major and that she was always wanting to help in any way she could.

"Holy shit, Mouse!" Jake approached you with the others in tow. "You got that guy down in one punch!"

You shrugged as the girl pulled the glass away and gently pressed over your knuckles. "It's nothing, he had it coming," you told him as the girl pressed a kiss to your knuckles.

"It might be physiological but I still feel like that should help, they're only bruised," she told you and you narrowed your eyes as you saw Jake gear up to say something.

"Don't, she just hit 21 yesterday," you told him, the most aggressive he's heard you since meeting you. Jake backed off from her and you took your seat again as everyone else gave their impressed words before going back to their spots.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

Bob was getting out of his car at the same time you did the next morning, and rushed to walk in next to you. "That was impressive last night, the punch," Bob told you and you pursed your lips into a sorta smile.

"He was being a creep and grabbed Sarah, he deserved it," you told him, and Bob realized that was the closest to accepting a compliment you would give.

You ended up closer to the front, sitting behind Bob and Natasha. Callie was sitting down next to you as you listened to the others talk.

"A man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come back," Jake said before turning to Natasha. "No offense intended," he added on.

"And somehow, you always manage," Bob added on from his spot in front of you.

"Last I checked, only one of us has gotten Maverick out, not once but twice, and Mouse ain't no man," Neil piped up from his spot farther in the back.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

You were flying again, this time with Bradley. There was some easy to spot tension in the way Bradley and Pete flew. You got tired of it and did something that was going to get you in trouble with Admiral Simpson.

You dropped again, swooped up, flew dangerously between the two, round to face straight down, and locked onto Maverick before swopping to the side before you collided with either. "That's a tone, boys," you announced but before they could answer, Admiral Simpson jumped onto the radio.

"Lieutenant y/l/n, my office now," he told you and you started to fly back to the hangar.

Admiral Beau Simpson was standing in the hangar with Admiral Tom Kazansky as you climbed down, you pursed your lips at the idea of how much trouble you were in. "You're a dangerous flyer, what you did could have ended horribly!" Simpson didn't even wait until you were out of the hangar to start yelling at you. You just stood at attention and took his words. "You're praises have been sung by every CO you've had, we were told you never disobeyed orders!" You wanted to tell him you disobeyed no orders, that your only order was to try and get Maverick out again, but held your tongue as you stood at attention.

"But, it was impressive and perfectly executed," Kazansky cut in, you didn't move. You just stood there and noticed your fellow pilots start to slowly gather. "Not even Mav has the guts to pull that move, where did you learn that?"

"My dad, sir," you replied and watched him raise an eyebrow.

"Your father?"

"Yes, sir."

"Is he a pilot too?"

"Not in the way you're thinking, sir," you told him.

"Care to explain what you mean, Lieutenant?" Simpson asked.

"He's owned jets my whole life, sir. F-16s that he bought and refurbished himself, he's a mechanic. I got my license at 16 and I've been flying since then. I learned that move right before basic training while flying with him, sir," you explained and saw the intrigue on both of their faces.

"Well, then, at ease, Lieutenant," Kazansky told you and you automatically relaxed your stance.

"I'm not in trouble?" You questioned and saw the annoyance flash on Simpson's face.

"No, you're not," Kazansky told you and you let your shock cross your face. "Just, don't do it again," he added and you quickly nodded. "You're dismissed," he told you and you quickly thanked him and scurried off, ignoring the looks from your fellow pilots.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

"Are you coming to The Hard Deck?" Bob questioned as he walked next to you, you were told you weren't to fly for the rest of the day but you stayed at base because you had to.

"No, not tonight," you told him, wanting to go home.

"Not even after you've kept your title as only person to get Mav out?" Natasha ended up on your other side and you suddenly wished the ground would open up and suck you in. Their had to be other people who deserved their attention more than you.

"It's not as impressive as you guys keep saying it is," you rushed out before scurrying off to your car. Natasha and Bob both stood there, dumbfounded.

"It's not either of you," Callie said from behind them where everyone else was gathered. "She's quiet, always has been. It's my she's called Mouse, you never hear her until she makes a noise. It's why her flying is impressive, she doesn't show off and she knows how to fly in the perfect way to stay hidden until she strikes. I tried to get her callsign changed to Reaper for that reason, but she's too quiet for anyone to take me seriously," Callie explained, her eyes trailing your car.

"Do you know where she's staying?" Natasha had an idea.

"Yeah, why?" Callie questioned, her eyes moving to Natasha's face.

"I think we should bring the party to her," Natasha told the group.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

You had your lips pursed as you looked at your full living room, the entire group, including Tom, as he insisted you call him, and Pete, where there. "So, you're all in my house because?"

"Because you've gotten my out three times, yet refuse to let us celebrate you," Pete supplied and you tensed minutely but Bob noticed. He was the only one who thought it was a bad idea but no one listened to him.

"I've said it's no big deal," you told him but there was a wave of disagreements from the others. "It truly isn't!" Your eyes found Bob's and saw the quiet disagreement in them. "Fine, but you're all watching this movie I want to watch with me," you told them, a chorus of ok following your words.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

"Holy shit!" Jake jumped at the jump scare from his spot on the floor with his feet thrown over Javy's legs, everyone was sprawled across your living room with snacks and drinks. Bob and you were pressed into your overstuffed chair together with Bob's feet kicked up on the empty space on the ottoman that Mickey had laid out on. Your feet where resting on Mickey's lower back, him telling you the pressure of your heels helped the pain he had. Ruben was on the floor next to the ottoman, sharing Mickey's candy you had given them. Pete and Tom were on your couch with Billy and Neil, the four were the calmest.

"Bagman, shut it!" Natasha told him from her spot on the loveseat with Callie, both holding pillows to their chest. Everyone else was thrown around the floor with various pillows and blankets you got them. You were watching The Nun, it wasn't even that scary but there were a lot of jump scares.

"Do you want more popcorn?" You lowly asked Bob, your shared bowl almost empty. He quietly nodded and you got up, you asked Mickey the same question as you leaned down to grab his empty bowl. He nodded, his eyes never leaving the TV and you walked to your popcorn maker. It was one of the nostalgic looking ones, it was pretty new and was turned on to make new popcorn for your impromptu movie night. Your parents had gotten it right before they moved out but left it just in case you wanted it.

You turned back to the TV just as another jump scare happened and shouted along with a good chuck of the others. "Oh god!" Your eyes widened as you shouted and Jake looked at you.

"I feel validated now that Mouse has been scared," he mumbled and you took a deep breath to calm down. You walked back to your seat, leaning down to place Mickey's bowl back on the ground where he's been keeping it, before sitting back down and kicking your legs up again.

You glanced around, noting the comfort you got from seeing a bunch of people who were so determined to celebrate and praise your accomplishments. You looked back to the TV, not noticing the look full of love Bob was giving you.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

The dynamic changed after that and you found yourself on the beach playing dogfight football. You were in a pair of shorts and found a swim suit top in your old clothing that still fit. You brought extra for Natasha and Callie at their request. You laughed as Bradley did a silly little victory dance but cheered the loudest when Bob won the game. "Way to go, Bobby!" You yelled as he was lifted up, he caught your eyes and gave you a bright smile.

"Bobby? I see you, Mouse," Callie told you and you gently shoved her, you had gotten used to being noticed and cared about.

"Oh, shut it," you laughed as Bob was put down. You took a deep breath as you calmed your racing heart as Bob walked to you.

"You called me Bobby," Bob said and you nodded, you could tell he was more amazed than annoyed.

"Would you prefer Bobert?" You questioned but cut him off. "Wait, too late, I'm calling you Bobert," you sing songed and he just smiled at you.

"Ok, fine, honey," he told you and you gasped as he walked away.

"You can't just call me that and walk away, Bobert!" You called after him, the name lighting laughter throughout the group.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

You started going to The Hard Deck more and people started to notice you more. It felt odd, no longer able to float around like you were a ghost. But you enjoyed it, enjoyed being included and openly loved by friends. However, you didn't enjoy the looks, the hungry and lust filled looks from non-Navy men in the bar. "You know, you're body's a ten but your face is a," the brazen man didn't get to finish his statement before the last person you expected punched him, Jake.

"Hey, that's the future Mrs. Floyd your insulting, and no one insults Mouse without consequences," Jake growled and you stood there confused but seething.

"You Mr. Floyd? Cause you could do so much," you cut him off this time, your fist connecting squarely with his jaw. Effectively popping it out of place as he screamed and hit the floor.

"Actually, that's Mr. Floyd," you pointed to Bob before pointing to yourself. "And I'm the one that just punched your jaw out of place," you hissed, gripping him by the shirt to pull him to be level with your face. He was barely taller than you, maybe an inch, and he was scrawny. Despite that, it was obvious you were strong, it took a lot of strength to punch a jaw out of place. "Now, I am going to push your jaw back in place. You're not going to scream like a little bitch, and then you're going to leave. Nod if you understand," you told him, he quickly nodded and you pushed his jaw just right to pop it in place before shoving him away from you and watching his run off with his tail between his legs.

"Damn, she could eat you alive, Bob," Neil laughed and you spun to face the others. Your hand red and angry but you were more worried about Penny walking over.

"I'm about to yell at you two, look scared and nod," she informed you, letting you two know she wasn't mad in the slightest. "You two cannot just punch a guy in my bar!" She started yelling. "I don't care that you're Navy pilots, next time I'm kicking you two out!" She added before turned and storming away.

"She flies like a pro, she punches harder than expected, yet she's called Mouse," Javy shook his head in amusement and you gave him an awkward smile.

"I also needlessly defended Hangman," you shrugged, not knowing what else to say.

"Well, darling, it was hot," Jake slung his arm over your shoulders and you gently jabbed your finger into his side. He jumped away from you with a small yelp.

You walked to the booth Bob was sitting him and took the seat next to him, he quietly hoped you didn't notice how turned on he was. "I hope Hangman saying you were my future wife wasn't awkward for you," Bob told you.

"Was it for you?" You looked him in the eyes, the first time you've ever initiated eye contact.

"No, more embarrassed that you're finding out about my crush this way," he told you, able to read the fact that you liked him just as much as he liked you.

"Good and don't be embarrassed," you gripped the collar of his shirt and pulled him to your lips. It was immediately intense and breath taking and when you pulled away, you finally noticed the cheers.

"Way to go, Mouse!" Callie cheered and you smiled against Bob's lips.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

You wanted to say it all disappeared, that you suddenly believed that you deserved people's attention and love. But it didn't, you still found yourself standing on the edge of a group and brushing off compliments. And worse of all, you found yourself slowly starting to pull from Bob as the mission grew closer.

It all came to a head when the mission actually happened, you weren't too surprised that you weren't picked for it. You figured that even if there wasn't favoritism with Pete and Bradley, Bradley would be picked for the effortless way he flew with the others.

You lingered by Bob, wanting to apologize for pulling away to tell him to be safe. But you didn't want to overwhelm him, so you started to walk away. "Honey," Bob gently grabbed your arm and pulled you a little away from the others. "What's wrong?"

You gently shook your head at him, "We will talk after you're back. You need a clear head for this," you told him.

"I won't have a clear head knowing there's something wrong," Bob gently argued back.

"It's just, what's going to happen to us after this? What happened if you," You looked down at the place the toes of your shoes were gently kissing his, not able to finish the question.

"You know I can't promise to make it back, but I'm going to try. And when I get back," you didn't miss the fact that he said 'when' and not 'if'. "We will make this, whatever we are, work. Letters, FaceTime calls, random trips to the other, taking leave at the same time to visit each other and go on vacation, applying to the same stations for a chance to get put together, we will work it out. That I can promise," he told you, his hands grasping yours.

"Ok," you whispered. "Just, come back to me, alive. Hurt, broken, scared, I don't care. Just come back alive," you begged, you knew he wouldn't promise, that he couldn't promise.

"I'll try, Honey, I'll try," Bob told you, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before separating.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

You met Bob, Natasha, Ruben, and Mickey down on the landing strip once you could. You were in Bob's arms faster than you should've been but he didn't care. He just hugged you tight and spun you to make up for the kinetic energy from your run.

"You're ok?" You pulled back, even with the nerves for both Bradley and Pete, you had to know.

"I am," he told you, easing your worries. You pulled away completely and tackled the others into a group hug.

"Mickey, get your ass in this hug," you called to the WSO who tried to avoid your grasp. Natasha was pressing her face into your neck as he hugged your waist as tight as possible while Ruben has his arms wrapped around both you and Natasha from your right side.

"What about Bob?" Mickey argued but came to your left side to wrap his arms around the three of you anyway.

"Bob," you just said his name and then his arms were circling all of you as he pressed his chest to your back. The five of you stood there for a moment, just soaking up the comfort.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

Pete and Bradley made it back and you made a mental note to tell Jake good job for helping them. There were celebrations everywhere and once Pete and Bradley had their moment, you forced the two into a group hug as well.

"Just accept your fate, boys. She'll hug you until you hug her back!" Callie told them over the noise and they listened, hugging you back.

You pulled away with a small smile, you didn't say anything but you figured they got the message. You let they go about their business as you found your way through the crowd to the edge. Bob met you there not even moments later, his arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you into his side.

"You came back," you breathed out, the tension you've been carrying for weeks finally falling.

"I did, I came back for you," he used his hold to turn you towards him as he did the same. His face was a little flushed from the excitement and good celebrations happening but his smile was that soft one you've gotten used to.

"You know, I could reprimand you two for relations within a squadron," Simpson ended up next to you two and you quickly pulled away from each other. "But, I'm not going to. When we get back, you two, along with the others, will be asked to stay on the North Island for the foreseeable future to train new recruits. If you take the job, I'll give you two the proper paperwork for whatever you two call this," he told you before leaving.

"Looks like fate is in our favor," you told Bob, pulling him into a kiss by the collar of his flight suit.

➽──────────────❥

Masterlist | Requests If you want to be added to the tag list, follow the directions on my masterlist

[phoenixmuses]

He smirked at the curse words that escaped Bucky, finding it amusing that the soldier appeared to be disappointed that he had let it slip out. While the blond usually would have gotten a thrill out of getting under his skin, something about the way he mentioned the nicknames being accurate gave Billy pause, if only for a moment. He rolled his eyes at the mention of not using all of them at once, although his back had been turned to Bucky by that point. If he really wanted to, he could come up with several different ones — if nothing else, he had always been creative — but for now, he was focused on trying to get a feel for the new place and the strange guy that was supposed to be supervising him.

Snorting derisively, the blond ignored his comment about certain adults calling him 'pretty boy.' "That's the one that bothers you?" he muttered with a hint of amusement, more to himself than the other man. Still, when he glanced back and caught the serious expression, he pursed his lips slightly and decided against pushing it further. For now, anyway.

His eyes narrowed slightly as they followed Bucky's movement to the hallway, clearly unamused by the nickname explanation. "Yeah, yeah, I know what a nickname is," he replied gruffly. Despite his own bit of vexation, he let the soldier have his moment, catching the ecstatic glint in his eyes. At least he seemed to have a sense of humor.

For the first time since he arrived, he was silent as he watched the man point to each of the doors. His hands were half buried in his jean pockets, one brow slightly quirked as he observed him, particularly when he used his left hand to tap on the door and Billy caught the small, dull thud that seemed slightly out of place. However, his focus was drawn away when there was a mention of getting money to buy things for his room, blinking a few times in surprise. The blond quickly masked it, gaze warily flickering over the man's expression, trying to see if there was any ill intent behind the offer.

Immediately, he felt his shoulder muscles subtly tense and his pulse faintly picked up. Why would Bucky give him any money? Billy's jaw tightened slightly and he forced his gaze away from the guy, burying the mix of uncertainty and adrenaline that had pooled in his chest. What was the point of it? Was he trying to bribe him or something?

"Thanks, but I've got a job," came his curt reply. There was no way he was going to let someone buy things for him, not when they would just use it against him later. It wouldn't have been the first time. He was used to that sort of thing from his own father — why wouldn't other people do it, too?

Exhaling steadily, he made his way to his room and popped open the door, unsure of what to expect. Stepping inside, he noted the neutral tones and basic furnishings, then gave a slight nod. It wasn't much but it had potential; if he were to add a few band posters, a stereo, and a full-length mirror, he would be good to go. Billy didn't have plans on staying here long, anyway.

Watching Billy put the cigarette out on the railing, Bucky suddenly looked very tired and said, "you're re-paintin' that if you fuck it up." He visibly winced at his own swearing, because he'd really been trying not to swear, especially around any kids that found their way to him, but it'd slipped out and that tired expression settled a little heavier in disappointment at himself. He'd get over it, but it was by no means a subtle expression.

"Those're just accurate," he commented about the new names, almost under his breath, neglecting to add that they were a little hurtful with their accuracy; he did not need to be reminded that he'd been disposable. He'd been very aware at the time and that awareness had not disappeared since.

The sheer amount of names meant that he paused, though, before looking at him with a frown of judgement. "Are you gonna use 'em all right now?" he asked. "You still gotta think up more for the future. You ain't gettin' let off just 'cause you got a good one." He wasn't going to tell the kid which one was the good one; had to keep him guessing. It was 'shitbird', though. That one was at least funny while the others were just sad, until 'pretty boy', at which point he paused, having almost gotten the front door completely shut in the time it took Billy to move.

"Only certain adults get to call me 'pretty boy'." He fixed him with a look as he resumed the action, his expression entirely serious as he took a breath that sounded as if he'd realised too late exactly what he was letting himself in for with that and was bracing for the inevitable question or comment or joke, and then decided to continue anyway. "You're not one of 'em."

With the question of 'what kind of name is 'Bucky', anyway?', there was another, shorter pause because he had just been handed a gift. An opportunity, and Billy clearly had no idea what he'd just done. "S'called a 'nickname'." He looked to Billy with an air of being just ecstatic to have the chance to be this annoying. "S'a short name to call someone. Sometimes it's from a part of the actual name, sometimes it's from an event, and sometimes it's rhymin'-related."

While talking, he'd also moved to the hallway to be able to point to specific doors instead of trying to give directions; he'd had at least one kid intentionally ignore the directions, and pointing was just easier than dealing with that.

"This one's yours." He gestured to the correct door; the closest door to the rest of the house, which was currently shut but would reveal a generally neutral but furnished room when opened, much like the rest of the house. He then took a few steps and tapped on another door, which hid an avocado bathroom that Bucky hadn't bothered to replace, with his still gloved left hand to give a small, dull thud that was probably too solid for a hand. "Bathroom. The taps squeak."

"If you wanna get anythin' new for your room, I can give you money towards it." His dad would've done the same, and he figured it was a good show of being willing to work with the kid instead of against him, with the hope of that annoyance that he heard being at least somewhat quelled by the idea that Bucky wasn't his enemy, he just lived here.

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 32

PREV

He had the first week back from Thanksgiving break off from both classes and practice.

The week off of classes leaves FF feeling like getting stabbed has been a net positive experience for him.

First he feels like it really cemented the apparent friendship he had with at least Andrew and Neil. Second, he technically had a job offer in his Freshman year. Third, and most important, his language professor who had wanted him to come and speak to his gen-ed Latin class of over 100 students told him not to worry about it and that he had gotten one of FF’s friends to agree to the presentation instead.

His relief was so immediate and all-consuming that he hadn’t even had the energy to pretend he was upset that he had been replaced. Thankfully his teacher just chalked it up to relief that he wouldn’t have to stand up and present when his stomach was healing from the surgery.

Coach Wymack and Abby wouldn’t even let him go to the Court. Kevin had tried to argue quite a few times on Sunday when that decision had been made. Argued that he could sit in and watch for strategy purposes if nothing else.

However, even Kevin couldn’t guarantee that FF wouldn’t get accidentally run into / knocked against considering his complete lack of presence.

Matt had rushed into Abby’s house having made a bee-line for it upon reaching the airport.  “Smiths! You got stabbed!” Matt yelled as if informing him of his own predicament.

“Yeah.” FF agreed as if it were something that could have been debated.

“What happened?! Nicky just sent a pic of the flowers he got you and the card?” Matt had asked pulling his backpack off his shoulder and to his front as he unzipped it and rooted around for something before pulling out an orange envelope. “This is from me and Dan, you remember her right?” Matt had asked.

FF thought of quiet conversations he has overheard over the phone and not so quiet noises Matt makes when engaging in some phone sex with his girlfriend.

“Yes, I remember Dan.”  FF had said diplomatically and accepted the card.

The card was sitting on the nightstand at Abby’s house next to the card the Monsters, his grandma, other teammates, and some cards from friends he had made outside of Exy. It feels nice to look at the multiple cards all wishing him well.

His Grandma was going to stay for two weeks and Abby was being incredibly kind to put them up

He spent most of that week sleeping, spending time with his grandma, getting yelled at by Abby for trying to do chores, and spending time with the Foxes that came to visit him.

Nicky had come over to hang out every day without fail. Most of the upperclassmen who were on the original ‘miracle’ team of the Foxes stopped in to see him regularly. Even Jack stopped in to complain about how Captain Neil presented a danger to the rest of them before giving him a Get Well Soon card and leaving.

It was a strangely thoughtful card that he’s near positive Jack’s girlfriend picked out for him. When the end of the week and the first game that FF would need to sit out from approached Coach Wymack asked if he wanted to come.

“You can’t play, but you’re still a Fox.” Wymack had said and his grandma had encouraged him to go and spend time with his friends. She’d hold down the fort for Abby, cook up a bunch of food for the the team to enjoy when they got back late.

So FF climbed onto the bus and sat next to Nicky who had declared himself FF’s bodyguard for the evening who’s safety he would only pass off to Coach Wymack during the game proper.

***

They’ve come so damn far from the worst team in the Division. His kids are thriving and because of that he’s gotten a larger budget. A larger budget to better help his kids with. David would be lying if he said he didn’t spend some nights wishing he could tell himself of a few years ago just how good it would get.

Still, the match is a lot closer than it should be.

He looks to his side and sees FF sitting there watching the game with rapt attention.

He looks as Sheena fumbles a pass that his newest problem child had mastered the timing of a month before. He sees Kevin’s shoulders go up in anger but Neil’s quick reflexes save it before the play is fully fumbled.

Neil makes a feint to pass to Kevin and the goal lights up putting them in the lead by 2 goals. David thinks of the numerous plays that would have gone smoother with the kid next to him playing instead of Sheena but there was no point in wishing for things that couldn’t be.

FF wouldn’t be playing until the Spring Championships started up and David would need to address FF’s medical hiatus and Lisa’s ‘family emergency’ that had her leaving the team.

It always stung when a Fox left but it hurt less when it was of their own volition instead of in a body bag.

He looks to the side again and thinks of the numerous decisions he had needed to make as Kevin slept in the car on the way to the hospital. Honestly, if he still was thinking about going after the hospital.

How the fuck did the hospital just leave the damn kid in a hallway for over an hour? He hates the thought of FF laying there in pain and bleeding watching as people went by.

He’s grateful that the kid didn’t seem to remember it.

He wasn’t going to mention it to any of the other Foxes, not even FF if he could swing it. He has no doubt that at the very least Andrew and Neil would go on a rampage and he’s near positive that Kevin would take special delight in it considering a week on he was still bitching about what he had seen in the Nutritionist office.

He’s not sure what Nicky would do but he knows it’d give him a headache.

Nicky takes a hard hit that has him subbed out for one of the freshman backliners. Nicky’s a little woozy and Abby confirms a very slight concussion that she’ll keep an eye on during the trip back.

They win by slimmer margins than they should but it’s to be expected.

“Coach Wymack?” FF asks.

“What’s up?” David asks.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom. It...uh...well it takes a while now.” FF says and David can read the embarrassment.

“Meet us at the bus. Be careful.” he orders.

FF nods and heads off.

Neil and Matt are on press duty and David preps the press to let them know about FF and Lisa. There are some questions about what kind of medical hiatus but David declined to answer knowing that Neil and Matt wouldn’t let it slip either.

His last two players get showered and on the bus.

He does a count and gets the correct number and starts the bus.

They’re just about to get on the highway when there’s a shout, “Wait! Where’s Smithy?!” Nicky exclaims full volume over the general conversation that had been going on throughout the bus.

David frowns, he had counted-

Abby. He had counted Abby’s head next to Nicky.

“Oh god dammit.” he says.

***

FF looked at where the bus should have been waiting for him.

He closes his eyes and hopes that the bus will appear between blinks. 

He opens his eyes again and finds...nope just fans milling about heading to their own cars and home. He gives a hopeful look across the parking lot wondering if the bus maybe just got moved back somewhere so that they could get out easier after he went and made them wait?

A lot of people. Some kids. Some disappointed Belmonte fans. Some excited Fox fans. Some general Exy fanatics who were discussing what the Belmonte team would need to do to stay in  for the Spring Championships.

No Palmetto State Fox team bus.

He swallows a bit of disappointment and moves past it.

He pulled up his phone to plug in Abby’s house and saw that it would be a 4 day hike from Belmonte. He looked down at his shoes contemplating if they’d make the over 300 miles of walking. The doctors and Abby had been very clear not to do too much exercise but surely it wouldn’t count since he was just going to walk? They said walking was fine right?

FF sighed at the thought.

Yeah, it wasn’t going to work.

His stomach hurts at the thought of a 5 hour car ride. Maybe there was a bus station nearby and he could make his way back via greyhound.

He was looking at his phone again when it started to ring and Nicky’s face was on his screen to let him know who the caller was.

He hit the answer button, “Hello-“

There was an inhale and FF had been on the receiving end of this quite a few times at this point so he held his phone the entire length of his arm away from his ear, “SMITHY, ARE YOU ON THE BUS OR DID WE FORGET YOU?!” Nicky screeches and it hurts his ears even from an entire arms length away. He wonders how in the world Nicky can stand being that loud with his minor concussion.

He stares at his phone dubiously for a few moments, worried that Nicky may shout again.

“Smithy?! Smithy?” He hears Nicky’s not quite as loud but very concerned voice. FF decides to bite the bullet.

“Hello Nicky, I am not on the bus.” He says.

“We fucking LEFT SMITHY!” Nicky yells and FF can hear a collective groan from across the line.

He may even hear Coach Wymack yelling something about ‘again’ and feels shame burn in his stomach. He should have just held in his pee. He hadn’t really needed to go that badly and it’s not like Coach Wymack doesn’t take bathroom breaks.

“It’s okay.” He rushes to assure Nicky. “I can…grab a bus or something. You don’t need to come back, I’m-“

“Young man, if you say that you’re fine I can not be held responsible for what I will do when I see you in the next 20 minutes.” Nicky threatens. “I also can’t be held responsible for what I’ll do to Neil since I feel like he’s infected you somehow.” He says.

He hears a distant “Hey” followed by an even more distant “Man, I hate to say it but I think he’s right.”

“I don’t want to bother you.” He says.

“Smithy, you are so far from a bother it is insane. How about I stay on the line with you okay?” Nicky asks but something has caught his eye.

Two kids haven’t moved as the rest of the world continued to. He watched as they clung to one another and no one seemed to take notice of them. He doesn’t understand how anyone could miss them with the bright orange children’s jerseys they had on. One sporting 01 - Josten and the other 10 - Josten on the backs.

“That’s okay Nicky. Call me when you’re close.” He says and makes his way over.

He can see the little boy’s hand holding the little girl’s hand tightly and is careful to walk around them in a way so that he wouldn’t appear out of nowhere. “Hey,” he squatted down to their height and the little boy still jumped slightly, dropping a small book to the ground, and the little girl hid her face in his shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I just noticed you looked a little lost.” He says and his muscles won’t pull in a way to offer a reassuring smile but he hopes he can convey it through his tone.

The little boy visibly swallows down nervous spit, “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.” He says holding on tighter to the little girl.

“Smart, continue to do that.” He says immediately, “Can you just nod yes or no for me?” He asks instead.

The boy thinks for a long moment before nodding affirmatively.

“Great, good job.” He says, “Did you come to the stadium with your parents?” He asks

A nod in the affirmative.

“Do your parents know where you are?” He asks.

He shakes his head in a negative.

“Are you lost?” He asks.

Another negative.

“So you mean to be right here?”  He wants to clarify.

A nod in the affirmative this time.

FF takes a moment to piece together what he knows and looks down at the book.

An autograph book. “Oh, you wanted to get an autograph from Captain Neil?” he asks.

The little boy looks up but it’s the little girl who answers. She finally takes her face out from his shoulder. FF’s eyes can’t help but see the large burn scar on her cheek but also see how her eyes sparkle with delight, “You know Captain Josten?!” she exclaims in delight.

“Millie!” The young boy says. “He’s a stranger!” he hisses.

“Nu-uh!” she shakes her head, “Number 13!” she points at his jersey he had worn in solidarity. “He passes to Captain Josten!” she says brightly. “See Brandon?” she smiles.

It could just be a fan jersey though FF highly doubts that anyone would buy fan merch for him. He is no Kevin Day, Captain Neil Josten, or Andrew Minyard.

Still the little boy, Brandon, looks at him with wide eyes, “You’re Smith?” he asks.

“Yeah.” FF nods, “Captain Neil is my Captain.” he says.

“I love Captain Josten! I wanna marry him!” Millie says and FF can’t help but wonder if Andrew would squash such adorable competition. “His face is like mine!” she giggles.

“Yeah, your face is as cool as Captain Neil’s is.” FF agrees with completely sincerity.

“We came out here to get Captain Josten’s signature” Brandon says with a pout, “All the adults were in the way and it was...kind of scary.” he admits with a flush.

A thought occurs to him. He doesn’t want to leave these kids and brave the crowds to find someone to announce the lost kids. It would only be about 12 more minutes before the bus comes. Coach Wymack would be able to help and...

“They’re coming to pick me up pretty soon. How about we stay right here and we can get Captain Neil’s autograph together?” he asks.

Both kids light up at the idea. “Really?” they both ask.

“Yeah, I also want Captain Neil’s autograph.” he says because he does. He’s wanted Captain Neil’s autograph for AGES but had been too awkward to ask. Then Greg had come and made it seem like FF would want it just to sell it or something.

Now he has the perfect excuse.

***

David pulled into the spot he had left almost half an hour ago and barely managed to put the bus into park before most of his more senior players were prying the door open to go look for FF.

Nicky had called but FF hadn’t picked up and it had set his more paranoid players’ teeth on edge.

The only one that stayed on the bus was Nicky since Abby had a firm grip on him.

David sighed and told everyone else to stay put before exiting the bus and began the herculean effort of trying to spot FF in a crowd.

It actually wasn’t too hard as he found his players standing and watching as FF crouched with his back to them as two little kids in orange Fox jerseys were re-enacting something for him.

He’d be tempted to let them keep going if he didn’t remember Abby’s list of specific things FF shouldn’t do with his still healing stomach and squatting like that was definitely on the list.

“Smith.” he says and watches as the Freshman jolts and tips over, thankfully onto his side, from his squatted position.

The kids get nervous when they see him but then their eyes both lock on Neil’s face. For a moment his heart aches for his player, plenty of kids have cried about Neil’s scars but then his eyes land on the little girl’s face more properly and...

Oh...

Those are stars in her eyes. David looks at the two different Josten kids jerseys that the Palmetto store had released.

FF recovers from his tumble admirably, “Coach Wymack,” he says getting up onto his feet. “These two are lost, can you see if there’s a way to contact their parents?” he asks.

David nods and pulls out his phone and steps away slightly.

He watches over the interaction that happens next.

**

As promised, FF had taken the awkward lead of asking for it and had them form a line. It had been weird but he watched as understanding dawned in Captain Neil’s eyes as he saw the two Josten jerseys. It had felt even less weird to get Captain Neil’s autograph when Matt had jokingly gotten in line behind Brandon because he too wanted Captain Neil’s autograph.

FF felt a little bad that Captain Neil had been so flustered by the requests but at least he finally had the Captain Neil autograph he’d wanted since last March. It also felt nice when Captain Neil had smiled the way he did at Millie when she babbled about how they matched.

Andrew had bumped into him in the way that FF was learning meant that he was pleased with whatever FF had just done. Kevin and Aaron had been the ones to ask if his stitches were okay after his startled tumble.

Millie and Brandon’s parents were incredibly grateful and swore to continue to be lifelong fans of the Foxes. Millie and Brandon themselves had been more excited about their Captain Neil Josten autographs than being reunited with their parents. They had waved goodbye with Millie loudly proclaiming that her and Captain Neil would get married someday.

Climbing onto the bus he was subjected to a check over by Abby when both Kevin and Aaron dragged him to her. Then he was sat down next to Nicky who shoved him into the window seat and cuddled up. “I won’t lose track of you if I’m on you.” was his logic.

The bus ride resumed.

“I didn’t know you liked kids.” Nicky says head on FF’s shoulder. “I’ve watched you go to the other side of the street to avoid middle school kids.” he adds.

FF feels ice in his stomach.

“Middle school kids are mean.” FF says and doesn’t properly answer the question but Nicky is just concussed enough to not call him on it.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

Like I said in my last part I will be tagging people separate from the actual update going forward. Still any requests to be added to the tag list feel free to put in the replies here.

[glossypolaroidkisses]

pt 2 continuing jealous college bf lu anon ask — <3

You don’t fully process it until you’re walking out of the lecture hall, Luigi at your side, his stride just a little too purposeful; He’s still simmering.

You press your lips together and bite your tongue, hiding your amusement as you glance up at him. His jaw is tight, tongue pressing into his cheek like he’s trying to stop himself from saying something, but it slips out anyway.

“That guy is so full of shit.”

You huff a quiet laugh. “Luigi.”

“No. Seriously,” he mutters, shaking his head. “The way he was talking, it’s like he just discovered how smart you are.” He scoffs. “Like he’s some kind of genius for pointing out something that’s fucking blatant.”

You raise an eyebrow. “So… what? You wanted him to downplay it?” you ask. Luigi turns to you, incredulous. “No, I wanted him to not act like he had some exclusive insight into your talent—like he just, gets you, or something—when really, he was just inflating his own ego.” Luigi’s voice dips lower, rougher. “Probably trying to impress you.”

Ah. There it is. You fold your arms, biting back a smile. “So you are jealous.”

Luigi scoffs, looking away. “I’m—” He exhales sharply, then grumbles, “It’s not jealousy.”

You give him a knowing look. He glares for half a second before rubbing the side of his face and muttering, “Fine. Maybe that plays a part.”

You smirk, leaning in slightly. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.” You pause, tilting your head. “But now I’m starting to wonder… you were paying a lot of attention to him. Should I be jealous?” you tease.

Luigi glares at you for half a second before rubbing his face. Then, with perfect deadpan delivery, he mutters, “Can’t believe you let a man who dresses like a divorced economics professor flirt with you in front of an audience.”

You blink, caught completely off guard, before bursting into laughter.

“Oh my god.” You press a hand to your mouth. “Luigi.”

“What?” He shrugs. “The man has salt-and-pepper hair but the energy of an undergrad trying too hard in a philosophy debate. It’s offensive.”

You shake your head, still laughing. “You’re so petty.”

“Only when it’s deserved.” He smirks, but his eyes soften just a little as he looks at you. “And only when it involves you.”

A slow grin spreads across your face. “Hot.”

Luigi’s head snaps toward you again, eyes narrowing slightly, like he’s trying to gauge if you’re messing with him. “Yeah?”

“Mhm.” You step closer, tilting your head. “The whole passive aggressive, I’m-smarter-than-you thing?” You start fanning yourself for dramatic effect. Luigi lets out a breathy chuckle. “Didn’t do it to be hot.”

“Still was.”

His fingers flex at his sides, like he’s debating whether to pull you in right here, right now. His voice drops lower, edged with possession. “You’re mine, you know. Even if people don’t know it.”

A shiver runs through you. Your amusement melts into something warmer, heavier. “I know.”

He studies you for a second before shaking his head. “Also, you being smart is common knowledge. His spectacle was nothing but a reminder of your brilliance and a display of his ignorance.”

You laugh, looping your arm through his. “Noted.”

By the time you get to his dorm, he’s settled. Mostly. You stretch out on his bed, lazily watching as he tosses his bag onto the chair. Then—

“I still don’t like him.”

You burst out laughing. “You’re ridiculous.”

He huffs, shaking his head with a smirk. “And you…” He leans in, voice dropping. “…are mine.”

Your stomach flips. His voice—low, assured, certain—does something to you.

“You did kill that presentation, though,” he murmurs against your hair, pressing a slow kiss to your forehead. “So damn smart.”

“You give me too much credit.”

He shakes his head, unwavering. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. I’ll make sure you get what you deserve until the day I die.” He purrs. Your heart stumbles.

Then—

“…Still don’t like Neil.”

You groan, shoving him lightly as he laughs, low and satisfied. “You don’t have to like him,” you tease, “you just have to like me.”

Luigi chuckles. “Happily.” He leans in, his lips brushing yours, soft at first; Then deeper, slow and claiming. You sigh into him, fingers tangling in his curls, your body melting against his. Luigi’s hands find your waist, firm, grounding, like he needs you to know how much he wants you close. How much you belong to him, here, in this moment, with no room for doubt.

[saveme-storybrooke-potc]

"Billy killed people" while he was possessed, if we want to use that as an excuse to hate Billy then I can for sure hate will for getting hundreds of men at the lab slaughtered and he full on knew what was going on more so than Billy did. When Billy was possessed he completely lost control of himself and you can see that if you actually watch the show.

Also Eleven constantly killed people so bffr

"Billy is racist" even the actors for Lucas and Billy disagreed with that, also I would even say that if you actually look at his backstory with his father you see that Billy seen his dad and mom fight a lot, then he sees his sister and Lucas fighting (as his first impression on him) so he doesn't like seeing that happening.

"Billy is abusive" yes, you know who else is? Neil, you know who Neil was abusive to? BILLY. do you know what happens to someone that's been abused? the cycle continues.

"but max doesn't want to be like that" Max ALSO has a parent at home that cares about her, Billy doesn't. Billy's mother abandoned him to possibly die from his abusive father, and then Neil would constantly rub into Billy's face that he is with a new woman now and that Billy better accept that fact or suffer the consequences.

"but Jonathan was abused too and he isn't like that" first, I don't even remember that, if anything I know Lonnie bullied/abused Will, verbally, BUT you're forgetting one very obvious thing. LONNIE LEFT, not Joyce, the toxic parent left and the god parent stayed. Billy's mother, the kinder parent, the one that actually cared, LEFT.

I will actually make a better post that goes in depth about Billy and his character because I think he is actually one of the best written characters ever and he deserved more screentime, a second chance, redemption, all of the above.

[alesbianperson]

football player!ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: At the football play you visited to support your best friend, something happens that you didn't expect.

warnings: smoking (weed); slightly implied loser Ellie at the end; swear words; girls kissing (what a surprise); my writing idk

authors note: so firstly I mean football as soccer and not american football, but its not important to the plot so it can be interpreted as either; secondly, sorry for being so inactive I actually needed fucking half a year just for this its actually embarressing, I'm really slow at writing I don't know why, but I'm trying to be more active. I also didnt proofread so sorry for grammar mistakes or something anyway I hope you enjoy this!!

ALSO BIG DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT SUPPORT NEIL DRUCKMANN AND THE FACT THAT HE SUPPORTS ISRAEL!! If you don't know whats going on in Palestine, please go educate yourself because its highly important.

Here are a few links, so nobody can say it's too complicated or annoying to search for information (besides its really fucking heartless, cruel and totally not human to say "I dont wanna put effort in researching" while people are literally suffering and dying because of a genocide):

General information/updates

Brands to boycott

How you can help Palestine

Palestine masterposts: 1 2

--☆--

This evening was the final football game of the season. Everyone was so excited, and your best friend played in the school team, so of course, you came to this game to support her. You already arrived a bit late because you took a nap and didn't hear the alarm, so you quickly searched for your friends who were already sat and luckily saved you a seat. When they saw you coming in, they waved you over to them.

"What took you so long? The game has already started!" One of them said before switching their attention back to the field. "Sorry, I overslept." You explained yourself sitting down on your seat. "You didn't miss much, just a foul from the other team. They're so annoying and clearly playing anything but fair." Another one of your friends said, rolling her eyes while offering you a bag of chips. You declined and began searching for your best friend between all the other players, running on the field. Not even five seconds later, you found her. With the ball in front of her, she ran towards the goal. You joined the cheers of everyone from your school, sure that this was going to be such a great goal until:

A girl from the other team came out of nowhere, running towards her, tackling her to the ground. You gasped. "That was another foul!" One of your friends exclaimed, standing up to better see what the referee would say. But instead of also looking at the referee, your gaze still hasn't left the girl, responsible for the foul.

She looked pleased with herself. What an asshole! You thought to yourself, but couldn't deny that the way her eyes sparkled in the light and her auburn hair moved in the wind was mesmerising. Too distracted by her features, you realised a bit late that she was eyeing you too. A smirk on her lips, she winked at you before walking off the field, your eyes still on her.

"Too bad that bitch just got a yellow card. She deserved more, right?" Your friends, already discussing the decision of the referee, were turning to you since you were the only one who didn't comment on it. Heat rushed into your cheeks as you realised you hadn't listened the whole time, busy gushing over that girl. "Yeah.. definitely more." Was all you said to not keep the attention on you.

"Guys," you added after a short pause, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick. I'll be back."

"Sure."

"But hurry, they're already playing again."

You just slightly nodded before walking off to search for the bathrooms. To your luck, they weren't far away from your seats, so it didn't take too long to find them. As you closed the door behind you, a strong smell of weed filled your lungs. Holding a hand in front of your mouth, you coughed reflexively.

"Having trouble breathin', princess?"

You turned around to see the girl who fouled your best friend sitting on the sink, her legs slightly swinging forwards and back. She still wore her tricot but now had a grey, dirty, worn-out jacket over it. The half up half down bun she had was messed up, probably because of the constant running on the field, and between two of her fingers, she held an already half smoked joint.

Her smile rose as she noticed your gaze lingering on her again. "Y'want a photo? It'll last longer." She chuckled, finding this old ass joke very funny. You rolled your eyes at her words but couldn't help the smile, forming on your lips. "What are you doing here anyway, don't you have to play?" She blew out the smoke she held in her mouth before answering your question. "My coach replaced me. Said I needed a break before playing again." You just nodded because you didn't know how to keep the conversation going. For a few seconds, you both just looked at each other in silence. After taking another drag from the joint, she leaned forward, offering you to do the same.

"No, thanks. I don't smoke."

"Thought so." She chuckled. After a short pause, she added: "Not in a rude way, of course. Y'just don't look like you'd do drugs." Even though you knew it was childish and totally stupid, you now wanted to prove to her that you were indeed someone who could take drugs. So you took the joint out of her hand, carefully brought it to your lips, and inhaled.

You probably shouldn't have inhaled this deep because now you were coughing like someone poured tons of sand down your throat. It surely felt like it. When you calmed down a bit, you looked up again, handing the joint back to the girl on the sink, who was clearly amused. "What a brave girl." She said with a shit eating grin on her face. "Come here, I'll show you how it's done right."

She gestured between her spread legs. As you moved towards her, she leaned in, reducing the space between the two of you. "Open your mouth." She then proceeded to take a drag from the joint. As she moved closer, your breath hitched. Your eyes wandered from her gorgeous green ones down to her lips, and heat rose in your cheeks again. Without breaking eye contact, she blew the smoke she had in her mouth into yours. Reflexively, you closed it.

"Now hold it in."

And that's what you did. The smoke filled your lungs, this time a lot less painful than your first drag. After a few seconds, you exhaled slowly, a small smile of pride on your face.

Your faces were still very close, and silence fell upon the both of you again. The tension thickend. Her emerald green eyes stared directly into yours, abruptly blinking down to your lips. "Can I kiss you?" Your voice was nothing more than a whisper, fading into thin air. A smirk grew once again on her lips before nodding and then proceeding to lean in and closing the gap between the two of you.

Once her lips were on yours, she cupped your cheek, her fingertips brushing slightly over it. You felt like your heart was going to jump out of your chest. Her lips were so soft. You couldn't really describe the feeling, but it felt good. Like you were on cloud nine. You quickly synced with the rhythm she set, leaning forward so that her back met the wall behind her.

Your hands wandered behind her neck, beginning to tug on her hair slightly. A soft groan escaped her lips at the sudden impact, which sounded like music to your ears.

A smile formed on your lips once she broke the kiss to catch her breath. "What're you smiling at?" She looked at you irritated, which just caused you to chuckle.

"I don't know. You're.. pretty."

Silence followed after that.

"Pretty enough to get your number?"

Ellie wanted to bash her head against the wall at her cringe comment. She thought she'd definitely crossed the line now. But you just began laughing, quickly covering your mouth with your hand to muffle the sound.

"Sorry. Don't get me wrong I-", you interrupted yourself by holding up your finger to signal her to wait and began searching for your phone in your purse. Fuck. You thought as you realised you left it in your jacket with your friends and hurriedly searched around for something to write on. Ellie just watched you amused, catching on to your plan. She snatched a pepertowel out of the spender and offered it to you. You just gave her an awkward smile, fishing a half empty kajal out of your purse and scribbled your phone number on it.

As you handed it to her, she took it with the same smirk she had in the beginning. "As sad as it is, I think I have to go back on the field. My coach probably misses me by now." She added hesitantly while sliding off the sink and walking towards the door. "Cool meeting you, though." The click of the closing door was the last thing you heard before you were completely alone in the bathroom.

With the paper towel still in her hand, Ellie made her way over to the rest of her team, almost jumping with joy and thanking every mighty power for letting her survive the whole conversation without completely losing her mind or embarrassing herself. She'd definitely save your number as soon as she could. Actually contacting you was a whole other story.

[glitteryinknotes]

There is a level of deep, bitterly poetic and cruel irony in Astarion's death and his eventual fate as a vampire spawn. Laughable, even. Lamentable.

Where do I even begin. I once posted here my thoughts on who Astarion was before Cazador took him; and all my thoughts were based on what we can assume to be canon from scraps on information in - game and interviews with Neil. That Astarion Ancunin who was laid into the ground at Baldur's Gate cementary was a corrupt magistrate, a shining example of power abuse, indulgence, hedony, existence in privilege without any service to the world around.

We also know for a fact that Astarion is not a good person in a moral sense. Again, Neil Newbon himself talked about it. He has capability to grow, mature, open himself up, soak in the positive influence and feel for others, but he never will be the default upstanding type. That is simply not at his core.

This is why (I am aware we're talking a fictional character, headcanon is free to all in whichever way they think it suits and pleases them) I cannot for the world believe in all the fanfiction based on the notion of the tragic, tortured soul unjustly attacked and turned into a vampire, because to me - it misses the entire depth and essence of Astarion's personality and arc. He was not a "worthy" persona before Cazador; in fact, the beating he got from the Gur was well - deserved and the near - death experience... Probably so as well. Maybe if anything, this would open his eyes and force him to reflect at least a bit on his choices in the position he was occupying. (But given that he mentions begging Cazador to turn him to be able to take revenge, I highly doubt that.) So yeah... The man got what was coming to him. He deserved it.

But what he got in the end once Cazador allowed him to drink his blood and had him in his hold? Two hundred years of misery and abuse beyond description, being completely stripped of any identity and personhood? No one deserves that. Such fate should not be thrust upon anyone. Ever.

It is the cruellest, most wicked twist of fate that it took that kind of ordeal to change a corrupt little elf's view of the world and force him to even acknowledge the existence of evil deeds and abuse of power - something I am quite sure he never gave any thought to before. It took being transformed into an utterly helpless victim to make him truly see that there is good and bad and perpetuating the bad leads to pain and misery for the innocents (and you can never be sure if not for you as well), and only then, at his most pathetic, most vulnerable, after centuries of torment, it took meeting, trusting, admiring, being grateful to, befriending / loving and being influenced by a genuinely good and kind person (probably the exact opposite of who he was before) to shake and cause some shift in his inner moral compass, or rather the way he was choosing to use it. The full circle, a poignant, unwilling journey from the one abusing power, to the enslaved puppet of someone with considerably more power abusing it in the most inhuman ways possible, and this time to his own woe, to the one person able to break the abusive cycle given the right influence.

Isn't that simply poetic in the most sickly sense? A tragicomedy, if you will.

Forget about Astarion Ancunin. The grave was good for lovemaking and sharing an important moment, but whoever was laid there was not anyone worthy of your time (just like "Ascended Astarion" )The one who stands by your side now is. Your Astarion. The new Astarion, the same "lovable rogue" with a taste for theatrics, drama, debauchery, beauty, murder mayhem and loose morality, but - a better person all the same.

[follow up post here

https://www.tumblr.com/glitteryinknotes/733162725841289216/a-little-follow-up-to-my-previous-post?source=share]

[justauthoring]

a promise he'll keep.

requested! -> also “who did this to you” with astarion would go absolutely bonkers. food for thought requested by! -> @the-sunflower-room

a/n -> thank you for your request! i saw your other one as well and definitely plan on writing it hopefully soon! also! i literally have been in love with this man since the game came out but im so nervous about writing for him i never gained the courage... tho, meeting neil yesterday made it feel like its only write i finally commit and write to him!

tw -> mention of blood, bruises and cuts/violence

pairing -> astarion x f!reader/tav

blood poured from the rather large cut across the side of your forehead, staining your skin and seeping into the tiny cuts littered across your cheek and jaw. bruises lined your neck, in the shape of a hands, and astarion was sure that the rest of your body mimicked the damage across your face.

armour torn, shaking and hurt, astarion's heart burns with a rage he's not felt in a long time.

long ago had he forgotten about the bloodlust of fighting. long ago had he healed from the trauma of his past. years had passed since astarion had first met you and years had passed since the both of you, along with the rest of your companions, healed yourselves from the parasites in your mind and effectively, saved the world.

your bodies had never quite healed though. the trauma of what you'd both experienced had never faded and most likely never would. you'd both accepted that as a fact of your lives and used each other as a means of healing from it.

it had been years since astarion has seen you bloodied and hurt like this, and it feels ten times worse then it ever had before. never a fighter, the second you'd no longer been forced to fight for survival, astarion knows you'd given up that part of your life.

you were strong. there was no doubting that. you could hold yourself and you'd proved that well enough given what you'd done for the world and most importantly, your companions. more than anything, you'd proved that with how you saved astarion from his tormentor and the horror of his past.

but you look so vulnerable in that moment; broken and hurt and bruised and his chest tightens, nails digging into the palms of his hands as the rage coarses through him, burning his veins and has him desperate to make whoever hurt you pay.

painfully.

"who..." and his words hesitate, the fire his chest making it hard to find his words. he doesn't want you to think any of his anger is directed at you... "who did this to you?"

you twitch at his words, arms coming around to hold yourself as you shiver, hesitating.

astarion's face falls.

taking a step towards you, he reaches out for you, hands moving to cup your cheeks, gently and wary of your wounds. he worries you'll pull away, given how afraid you are, but you know astarion and recognize his touch and some of the rage fades with concern and love for you as you lean into his touch.

his fingers work to brush the blood from your face, get rid of the dirt and grime that clings to your skin and tries to soothe you.

your eyes flutter shut in response.

"i'm sorry," astarion whispers. "i'm sorry, i don't mean to scare you."

you shake your head, humming in disagreement. "you didn't scare me."

astarion hates the way your voice trembles.

"i don't want you getting hurt for me," you explain. "you don't deserve that."

and astarion shakes his head. "it doesn't matter if it's you." he assures and he frowns when he realizes he might've not made that clear enough. he had a lot to make up for if you think that he wouldn't do anything for you. "i can't let them get away with hurting you like this."

"i'm okay," you try to deny.

astarion just tightens his grip on you, not enough to hurt you, of course, but enough to pull your attention on him. "you're not," he argues, desperate for you to understand how much it pains him to see you hurt like this. "you're bleeding, y/n. and fuck... you're hurt, badly. it breaks my heart to see you like this."

your eyes fall on him at that. wide eyes meeting his own as your lips part, as if shocked by his admission. maybe shocked wasn't the word—he likes to think the expression on your face is one of reassurance at how much his heart burns with love for you.

the tears that you'd been holding back fall then, your bravety and strength fading at astarion's warming and soothing words. they build at the corner of your eyes and astarion is quick to brush them away.

"i'll never let them hurt you again," he promises then, meaning every word of what he says. he says them with confidence, desperation and sincerity, eyes softening with a plea as he holds onto you, afraid you might slip from his very fingers. "them or anyone else."

your hand grabs his, squeezing.

"i know," you whisper, "this isn't your fault."

he just shakes his head; "it's whoever did this to you's fault," he assures, although the twinge of guilt that festers in his belly is undeniable. he should've been there with you, keeping you safe; even if you knew you were capable of keeping yourself safe... having him there would've assured him and would've stopped this from ever happening.

"y/n," he calls again, voice soft, measured and even as he stares into your eyes and doesn't let you pull away. "who did this to you?"

and your lips part, breathing shakily but there's an ease that washes across your expression and then the names of the men who hurt you come pouring from your lips.

astarion memorizies them, keeps them trapped in his mind as he nods. "thank you." and he is thankful. thankful that you trust him to do what he'd promised. thankful that you know he won't fail you.

"i'll make it better, okay?" he whispers, his thumb stroking across your cheek as he pulls you into his arms, a hand falling on the back of your neck to press you into his chest. "i promise."

you hum your response, leaning into his touch before letting him guide towards your home so he can dress and clean your wounds.

and most importanly, shower you in the love you deserve.

[heraxic]

Hello :o

I just wanted to say thank you (and also thank crumb) for getting me back into thinking about Karl Heisenberg 24/7.

I really love your artstyle, from the amazing expressions (especially the peeved/angry ones) to the scribbly lineart. As someone that’s trying to learn to draw more digitally, I really like to observe your stuff o.o

Your Moldy Family comics are funny, cozy, sweet and comforting all at the same time, and they made me discover and appreciate Eveline (oh man I love how much of a goth tween she is), and the way you draw Heisenberg (his physicality if that makes sense, his clothes, his hair, his everything) is just *chef’s kiss*.

As a former Greek Mythology child, that AU is so so nice owagh. I love all the monster adaptations/designs, it’s all so clever: I love that Kyril is scaley, hairy AND has wings (which I feel aren’t depicted often nowadays with gorgons), Alina is so majestic, with the black tipped limbs and the blood soaked dress, and the daughters being harpies/sirens(?) is also so perfect.

Idk if you’ve already said it, but what is it about Karl’s character that made him interesting to you?

I hope it makes sense (I’m a bit tired) and thank you again for the excellent food :]

Thank you so much!!!<<<3333

he lives in my head rent free…. his crusty-ass hair and barrel-shaped bod gets me every time

im glad you like my scribbly lineart! I tend to get concerned whether it really looks like anything haha

I miss drawing the mold family but i think my forte has always been fantasy, especially cause i love mythology more than anything. That’s not to say i wont go back to the modern mold family though

For greek au karl i wanted him to look like someone had haphazardly stuck animal parts to him so it’d look deliberately unnatural for him to have a relatively normal human body under all that-

I’m not sure i can fully describe why Karl is so interesting. Surface level, being voiced by Neil Newbon is always a big plus and his face model Joel Hicks is awesome-looking. His character design matches his abilities and personality really well, and speaking of personality, queer-coded villains who make a big show out of everything are always going to be my favourite. His gritty, masculine aesthetic is really inspiring in terms of gender as well. On a deeper level, in spite of all the terrible things he’s done, i find him sympathetic and relatable. After decades spent in a highly dysfunctional family, not living on his own terms, completely alone, I need him to finally be okay and get better for his own sake, with the support of people he trusts. It’s the same reason i love Eveline. Morally dark-grey characters who deserved better and could’ve gotten better with a good support system.

[ilomilodailystuff]

Okay. I see the fandom panicking and even starting to destroy itself...

For the ones who still love GO and would continue to love it as they always did but is judged because of ONE☝️ person's actions that might or might not be true, know you're safe here and I wouldn't judge you for loving GO despite Neil's accusations.

Because you gotta keep in mind that this show AND book are also Terry's. And you have to keep in mind that Neil wasn't alone in that project. Think about all the people that worked on the show, whether it's the crew or the actors. They're absolutely innocent, so why would you spit on their work as if they were guilty too ? Of course none of them would support Neil's actions if it's true, that doesn't mean we have to throw every poster or book or drawing or delete every fanfic or even stop writing fanfic because of this as if everyone were in the same boat.

These accusations are about Neil and Neil only and I would find it kinda sad that this story would be thrown away despite Terry had worked on it too, despite it also was in his memory. Ofc, if it's true, it's obvious Terry wouldn't be okay with it either but does that mean a story fully achieved and their characters have to be condemned with Gaiman ? Mostly when now, a lot of illustrators, writers and animators made it their own ? Mostly when it somehow saved many people's lives ? Mostly when this book or show had made people laugh and cry ?

This fandom is stronger than that.

Let's not mix everything.

Would you find it appropriate to talk about GO to the victims ? Obviously, no. For the sole reason that it's not. the same. thing. We have to put things back in their places. GO is GO, harassment and s*xual aggression are what they are. And it would be incredibly disrespectful to mix both.

So, my point is. Don't be ashamed to love GO despite what's happening. Don't feel guilty for supporting a show while you don't support the author. Don't let the fandom die because of one person's actions when there's so many people who worked on it almost just as much. I understand you're upset, I understand you'd think it might be hypocritical to love a show with the creator being accused of horrible things. But make the difference.

And I can assure you, if Neil is not guilty (and if he is, I hope the victims will get justice and Neil will have what he deserves) I'm pretty sure that he's not thinking about Good Omens at all right now, but just thinking about sorting this out and clearing his name as every innocent person would need to do so.

So, whether the truth is hurtful or a relief, let's keep the GO fandom going. For if it's hurtful, we will make Terry's story alive for his and many people's sake, and if it's a relief, we would have been doing things right by not jumping into conclusions.

Either way, you're welcome here and you're safe with me. Keep loving. Spread some joy. Don't let Neil's possible actions stain a wonderful story that is not only his own ❤️

[fellshish]

I have a question, and my name is Sal.

I grew up watching Coraline as a kid. It was my jam. I loved that movie, and I will forever say Henry Selick deserved more attention for making it.

I like the Dresden Dolls and Evelyn Evelyn (Amanda Palmer projects) I still have the songs stuck in my head. You know where this is going.

I know you said that fans of works should still enjoy the work even if the creator sucks. And I can do that with Kubrick and Aaron Fechter, but that’s because Kubrick is dead, and most of Aaron Fechter’s IP got ripped away from him and is gladly in the hands of the public (despite how much he likes to sue).

Gaiman (and Palmer) are still alive and/or profiting off their stuff. Not to mention, I want to bring attention to the situation and help bring justice to the victims. Yet everytime I post about it or reblog what someone else put into words what I think, I feel like I’m virtue signalling.

How do I handle it and is it bad that I keep thinking of the art that influenced me by them instead of what they did (in a way to soften the blow to how horribly they abused these women)?

(You can respond to this publicly, as I am sure people are thinking the same thing somewhere. I am sorry for dumping all this on you.)

hi sal!

sorry, this got long. your ask was so genuine and i was afraid of getting it wrong. 

i want to start this off by saying i am not the boss of anyone’s fandom experience. everyone gets to decide for themselves how they proceed after learning about the numerous women who have come forward against neil gaiman.

the things you mention are things i’ve struggled with too — last year when i first learned about it, when i listened to the podcasts and recently again reading even more detailed (and horrifying) news reporting.

these are also struggles shared by many fans in many fandoms of creators who were accused and/or controversial and/or convicted. for example many (trans) people i know have grown up loving harry potter, and have had to deal with their favourite writer waging a vendetta against trans lives. some still participate in the hp fandom without supporting her. they can’t help their hyperfixation and still find a lot of good and a lot of friends in the fandom. 

because yes, i do believe that someone can stay in such a fandom as ethically as possible. as in: i try the best that i can to make sure no further financial gains go to the creator. that means i avoid watching official streams, buying official merch, going to official cons, going to plays based on his work etc. i also amplify the women’s voices by spreading the article. 

the thing to keep in mind is: there is a difference and a distance between a creator and a fandom of what they created. a huge wall even. fandom is about community, friendships, creativity, … i am on a playground playing with the characters with my friends. sharing art and fics and gifs etc. and what those characters and stories mean to me are positive things. 

the core is this: if you have to live your life only consuming art by morally pure people (and who determines that?!) then you will have very little left to enjoy. 

and of course i understand the urge to want to help the victims, and the guilt/worry about virtue signaling. i’m going to break those down separately.

i think the idea of ‘helping bring justice to the victims’ is good but it also puts an unreasonable amount of responsibility on your young shoulders. here’s what’s already happened: the women’s voices have been heard, there is now more widespread media covering, he has lost his reputation, hasn’t been on his platforms since last summer, he’s losing (film) projects of his work, … what else consequences are yet to come, legally or otherwise, we’ll have to see. the responsibility for that lies not with you as one single fan but with lawyers etc. and you might find it important to keep vigilant that the story doesn’t get buried (again). in that case reblogging isn’t virtue signalling but useful.

but it’s also unreasonable to expect someone to continually do that for days and days. that’s a quick ticket to depression. ultimately tumblr is, to many, a fandom space. some people use it only for pleasant fandom activities. and what if they do? you can’t know a person’s whole life: maybe they are survivors who are too triggered to participate, maybe they’ve donated to causes that help survivors, maybe they have shared the story on other platforms etc

you asked “is it bad that I keep thinking of the art that influenced me by them instead of what they did”, and i found that the most heartbreaking part of your ask. it isn’t helpful to you or to anyone to keep torturing yourself with guilt. you’re aware of the allegations, and that’s good. but don’t burn yourself out trying to live up to the impossible standard of a morally pure activist that doesn’t exist. please stop being your own thought police. 

i think the fact you struggle so deeply, shows what a beautiful person you are.

now you’re going to be reading a lot of opinions. some very different from mine. am i right in continuing in fandom? i don’t know. this is my first time living life too. but i AM right that you’re a good person.

that said: protect your heart. block freely and curate a fandom space that makes you happy. avoid engaging in endless internet discourse that is bad for your mental health. step away for a while if that is what you need.

these are some intense days but i promise it gets better. the kid who loved coraline can still love coraline, but is just more informed now. 

the main rule of fandom is: does it spark joy? if yes, embrace it, because that’s a wonderful and rare thing to have.