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#Now I’m finally at a point where I’m not super busy and have less car anxiety and WAAAAYYY less depression
littlebirdy0301 · 1 year
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guess who’s finally gonna really try so super hard to learn how to drive :)
#I have my permit for the 2nd time & I am DETERMINED this time man#First I had a learners permit in highschool at 17#I was in a god awful place mentally. A combination of suicidal ideation & intrusive thoughts about crashing kinda made me give up learning#Then I got a motorcycle permit to try and drive a motor scooter#But the safety course was like “hey btw most of the danger comes from cars not paying enough attention to you & you can’t do shit about it!#So I got massive anxiety about it and could only drive on small back roads. + motorcycles feel So Much Faster which made the anxiety worse#I ended up letting that permit expire too#Now I’m finally at a point where I’m not super busy and have less car anxiety and WAAAAYYY less depression#My suicidal ideation is gone & my intrusive thoughts don’t affect me nearly as much#And recently I got more free time for a little while so I studied for the class C permit test again & a couple days ago I passed :)#And today I drove a car for the first time in like 5 years & it was ok!#I have like 25 days till classes start & not really much of anything on the schedule until then#So I’m gonna try my best to practice a decent amount this month & hopefully get a behind the wheels lesson in from a good instructor#And hopefully should be comfy enough to drive to & from school with my dad in the car#I have classes 4 days a week so that’ll be guaranteed practice on some bigger roads#There’s also a few ways to get there so I can start w the route that’s 70% small road and work my way up to practice big roads & freeways#Trying my very hardest to beat the Can’t Drive Gay accusations
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just-rogi · 1 year
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I just had a follow up with my dr after my blood work came back and she told me I need to get down to 135-140 lbs. 130 ideally. My BP is phenomenal my lipids and cholesterol too but I should cut out everything that isn’t water, and eat smaller portions and run more- god I get a drinkie once in a while as a treat but now I’m losing that too. Man I want to scream… its literally not fair bc everyone else can eat whatever they fucking want and be skinny, I’m literally 100% vegan eating exclusively rice lentils beans and LOTS of green vegetables. Like that’s fuckjng it Im not a French fry and Oreo vegan (tho that’s fine too it’s just not my regular diet). I eat intuitively and that means I usually never finish my meal or clean my plate so I don’t over eat. My ‘special girl treat’ is fucking fresh fruit. I TREAT myself by buying like cherries… I don’t drink soda (if I do it’s a v rare Diet Coke), I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t drink juice, I drink unsweetened iced green tea and honey or coconut water… I don’t even eat three meals a fucking day- I get like one or two bc I don’t get hungry until 4:00pm!! I don’t even eat desert super regularly because there just isn’t a lot of vegan options that taste good!!! I don’t own a car so I literally have to walk everywhere and would walk to work every day- rain or shine- 30 minutes there and back!! It’s not fucking fair. I’m tired. I’m angry. What the FUCK man I don’t know what to do! My dr doubled down during my follow up that I NEED to lose weight but I don’t know what more I can do!! Why do I have to eat less of my already super limited diet but my roommate can come home from work eat three hotdogs and Mac and cheese and wine and be healthy!! It feels like I’m fighting a fucking uphill battle constantly!! Like fuckjng hell!! I don’t know what to fucking do??? Like I literally don’t know what more I can cut out! It’s just not fucking fair I’m doing everything right! I’m also literally a size small in all my clothes!! I don’t know where I’d even lose 25 lbs from!! It’s just such fucking bullshit that I can be so goddamn on top of my fucking health and go to the doctor and get told I’m obese but other 21 year olds are eating pizza and drinking and are fine fuck me this sucks everything Sucks and I can’t even cry in my room with a tub of icecream about it bc I’m a fuckjng vegan!!! FUCK!! Like I’m NOT going back to counting calories I cannot do that again I won’t let myself- I’m mentally healthy FINALLY not throwing that away- but I literally don’t fucking Know how much less I can eat!! I hate it! I hate it so much!!! Why can’t I be mentally healthy and physically healthy at the same time! Why the duck is it that the second I recover from years of unhealthy restriction I’m told to lose weight!! Why can’t I do anything in moderation Jesus fuck it’s not fuckjng fair!!! Man!! Weight doesn’t matter and it’s not an indication of morality but I’ve fought SO hard to be healthy and eat a balanced diet WHY CANT I WIN ONE FUCKJNG THING!! Why do I have to be either obese or literally starving myself god fuck I was DONE with goal weights and calorie counting but for the second appointment in a row I was told I’m obese now and NEED to lose weight and will have a follow up in three months. There’s just no winning. I just want to eat my stupid rice and vegetables and beans and drink my stupid green tea and water and mind my business and be 130 lbs but that’s too fucking much to ask for I fuckjng guess FUCK great fuckjng time to start the fucking 1989 era again Jesus Christ man I’m just so frustrated especially when I see my roomates laughing and having fun big meals- one of my male roomates eats bacon Mac and cheese or half a meat pizza and that’s dinner and he’s fine! And I try so hard not to be jealous of people who can put anything in their bodies and be the bmi their doctor told them to be but GOD it’s SO hard to NOT feel shame and frustration after my appointments when I’m told point blank that I’m obese and need to drop 25 lbs I’m just fucking tired man
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readerstories · 3 years
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I’m sorry- Aaron Hotchner x gn!reader
Idk if angry was the emotion you wanted, but for some reason that is what I was feeling like writing this time. Also, I cannot keep stuff with Hotch short apparently. (AO3)
Warnings/tags: established relationship, angst, fighting, hurt/comfort, Hotch being an ass, happy ending
Wordcount: 2696
Request: I was wondering if you could do a hotch x BAU!reader where Hotch says something in the heat of an argument and the reader gets super emotional and Hotch just tries to apologize and make it up to reader. Thank you💕💕
Sometimes, injuries happen at work.
You had done a quick assessment in the field, making a hard decision when you needed to. Going in without much backup had been a risk you chose to take.
Being hit in the head with an old briefcase that has metal edges had not been a possibility you had foreseen, but it happened anyways.
You had rounded a corner in the unsub’s home, gun raised and yelling his name, and he had gotten a good knock on your forehead. You had been dazed for a few seconds, but managed to tackle him and cuff him anyway, reading him his rights as you did so.
The hard edge of the briefcase had hit your forehead, making a small gash, which was not deep, but it was bleeding quite a bit like head wounds tend to do. It’s running down your face as you get the unsub up on his feet, so you have to close your left eye and wipe at it as you lead the cuffed man outside.
Once outside you hand him over to an officer, who gives your head a glance, but doesn’t ask as you turn away from him as he starts to lead the unsub towards a car.
Rossi spots where he’s talking to Hotch and the police chief and points towards the ambulance standing close. You nod, and wipe at your face with the edge of your jacket sleeve, catching Hotch turning around to look at you too, but you don’t catch the worried look in his eyes.
Walking over to the ambulance, you’re guided to sit on the back as one of the paramedics cleans you up.
Even though it looked bad with the blood, the clean up goes quick, and they say you won’t even need stitches.
And luckily no concussion either.
A few butterfly strips get applied to your forehead and you are allowed to go with a promise that you will take it easy for at least a day or two.
You’re asked if you have anyone to stay with just in case and you nod as an answer, the adrenaline of it all wearing off as you stand up and yawn. The paramedic smiles and wishes you good night, you do the same to them.
Joining Aaron at his car, he doesn’t say anything, his mouth in a thin line as he looks at the strips now adorning your forehead. Both of you had agreed from the start to keep PDA to a minimum at work, but you wish he would at least say or do something.
Ask you if you’re fine.
Hold your hand maybe.
Comment on how you should change out of your bloodied jacket.
Something.
Something other than the stony silence that follows you into the car.
It takes a few minutes of Aaron driving towards Quantico before anything is said.
“You were reckless.”
“I made a decision on the spot and it backfired a little, yes, but I was hardly reckless.”
“If he had a gun-”
“I would have disarmed him or shot him first.”
“You couldn’t stop a briefcase, you think you could do a gun?” Getting irritated, you glare at Aaron.
“Yes.” You grit out.
“You sure?”
“Aaron, what the fuck is this?” You see him clench at the wheel, his knuckles turning whiter as he concentrates on driving for a few seconds before answering you.
“You need a debrief.”
“Yes, from Rossi, at the office, not like this.” He scoffs, glancing at you briefly before locking his gaze back on the road. You see his jaw clench, but he doesn’t answer you, so you don’t say anything either.
Neither of you speak again until you’re back at headquarters. Aaron beelines for his office, and you’re hot on his heels, not paying any attention to the rest of the team already gathered at the bullpen.
“Aaron-” You try to speak as you close the door behind you, but he interrupts you.
“You should take a week off.” You stare at him as he rummages through some papers on his desk, not even looking at you as he speaks. “One paid week off should do you good. After all this.” He gestures at you and finally looks away from the papers again.
“Hotch, if this was anyone else, you would let them come back after a day to sleep in.” Aaron sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
“I don’t have to explain my reasoning to you.” His voice is angry, but simmering with tiredness just beneath the surface.
The silence in the room as you don’t even give an answer to the statement is deafening. There’s a look in your eyes that he never wished to see directed at him.
Ice cold anger. Mixed with disappointment, and something else he can’t quite place. Sadness perhaps?
You unclip your gun from your holster, placing it on his desk with your badge.
“See you in a week, Hotchner.” The use of his full last name hurts, you might as well have used bullets.
You don’t let him give you any response to your statement, opening the door and striding out of his office, not slamming the door behind you as much as you want to. Your steps down to you desk are fast, as fast as they can be without fully running.
You gather your things quickly, ignoring the rest of your team.
Morgan tries to stop you with a hand on your shoulder, but you evade him with a glare, making him back off.
All the things you need on your person, you’re out of the glass door seconds later. You slam on the elevator button, debating on just taking the stairs to run off some steam while also getting out of here.
Rossi joins you as you wait, and you hear him open his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it.
“If you try to say something to get me to stay, I swear to god, I will put you on the ground.” Your words and glare makes Rossi’s eyebrows rise, but he keeps his mouth shut and takes a few steps away from you.
Finally the elevator doors open and you get in, pushing the button for the parking garage and the button to close the door faster in quick succession. With one last glare at the bullpen the elevator door closes in front of your face.
While you try your damnedest to set a new speed record for leaving the building, Rossi goes back to the bullpen, where the rest of the team sends him questioning glances.
“What even happened?” Morgan wonders out loud. “I’ve never seen them so angry before.”
“I don’t know.” Rossi is looking at Hotch, who is moving around in his office, partly shielded by the blinds. Everyone is looking between each other and Hotch’s office, the first one daring to go up there ends up being Rossi.
He knocks softly on the door with a knuckle, making Hotch look up from where he is standing next to his desk and reading some paperwork in his hand.
“You want to talk?” Hotch scoffs, putting the papers down on the desk.
“I’m fine.” Rossi closes the door behind him.
“But they clearly weren’t, so come on, spill. What did you do?” Hotch clenches his jaw, sparing a glance down at the bullpen, where the rest of the team tries to pretend they’re busy.
“I told them to take a paid week off, they protested, I insisted.” Hotch sighs as Rossi scoffs.
“For such a smart man you sure are dumb sometimes.” Hotch’s head snaps back by the comment, looking like he wants to answer and defend himself, but Rossi holds up a hand to stop him.
“You messed up. You must have known telling them to take a week off just for this was a bad call.”
“I didn’t.” Hotch's eyes are like steel, but there’s hurt hiding behind, if it’s at Rossi’s words or your actions he doesn’t know.
“But it was. Fuck Aaron, what are you even still doing here?” Hotch squints his eyes at Rossi, who throws his hands up into the air.
“You should be running after them and begging them to forgive you for doing the wrong thing. Preferably with their favorite flowers and candy in hand, or some sort of gesture, because this-” He gestures at Hotch and your gun and badge on his desk, “Is not good for anyone.” Hotch watches him for a few seconds.
“Rossi-”
“Just go Aaron.” Seemingly making up his mind, Hotch gathers his stuff, only stopping right next to Rossi and giving him a glance.
“I-” Rossi pats Hotch’s shoulder.
“Someone had to knock some sense into you. Go.” Hotch nods, out the door in seconds. The team watches him go, neither of them saying anything before Hotch is gone and Rossi joins them in the bullpen.
“They going to be okay?” Morgan asks.
“Let’s hope so.” Rossi answers, staring at the glass doors.
“I hate when people fight.” Garcia says quietly as Morgan pulls her into a side-hug.
----
You don’t know if you should even be driving right now, but can’t find it in yourself to care or think too much about it.
You just need to get somewhere where you can be alone and clear your head. Somewhere there’s less people and more open space.
And lucky for you, you know just the spot.
Almost on auto-pilot, you drive your truck away from work, heading out on the main road, not driving for long until you turn onto a small side road. It can barely even be called that, small and uneven as it is, but it’s no problem for you truck where you drive it with sure hands.
You end up in a clearing near the water, a small beach barely touched or seen by anyone else, except maybe the occasional hiker. You debate going down to the water, but instead you park your truck with its back towards it, flipping the tailgate down so you can sit on it.
Jumping up to sit on the tailgate, you pull out the newly bought pack of smokes and lighter from your pocket. You had quit years ago, but tonight seems like a good idea for bad habits, you think to yourself as you light one.
Taking a drag, you can already tell you will regret it later with the aftertaste you know it leaves, but you continue smoking nonetheless. 
Turning some old candy wrapper in your pocket into an improvised ashtray and putting it on the right side of you, one cigarette turns into two, soon morphing into a third.
It’s just seconds after lighting your forth cigarette that you hear another car approach. Which is odd, because you were certain few people know about this place, but you’re not too worried, your private gun resting in the back of your pants a comforting weight.
The car rounds the last bend of the small road, coming to a stop not too far from you, lights illuminating your truck and the beach beyond. Turning to look, you’re almost blinded by the lights, but they are quickly shut off as the car is turned off, and you realize you know the car.
Aaron’s car.
You snort.
The trip out here from the main road couldn’t have been comfortable for his car, or for Aaron.
Good.
You turn back around just as the driver door starts to open, and you ignore the sound of Aaron’s steps in the dirt in favor of taking another drag of your cigarette and staring into the water.
Aaron comes around your truck, leaning against your truck’s tailgate on your left, keeping his distance. He places a plastic grocery bag in the space between you. It makes a dull thud and despite you trying to ignore it, you find yourself curious.
“Peace offering.” Aaron explains as you eye the bag. You reach over and push at the top of the bag so you can peek inside. A couple of your favorite snacks, drinks, and a DVD with the logo of a movie you had talked about wanting to see. You push the bag behind you into the truck bed, taking another drag of your cigarette.
“How did you find me?” You don’t look at Aaron just yet, but you can tell he is looking at you.
“You told me about this place a few months ago and how you go here to relax sometimes and I- I just thought with how I acted-” Aaron sighs. He holds out his hand just in your field of vision, gesture clear. You give him your cigarette, watching him for the first time since he arrived as he takes a drag, letting the smoke lazily spill out from his lips with practiced ease.
“Didn’t take you for a smoker.”
“I had a phase in college.” He offers, taking another drag before giving the cigarette back to you. You take a drag yourself, letting the silence linger for a moment before you speak.
“You know you were being stupid.”
“Yes.” You’re just slightly surprised with how there is no hesitation in the one-word answer, but you’re a little content as well.
“If it had been anyone else in the team you wouldn’t have reacted that way.” Aaron sighs, putting his arms back on the tailgate, using them as leverage to hoist himself up so he’s sitting on the tailgate too, still keeping his distance.
“No one else in the team are you.” You wait for him to say more, taking a last drag of your cigarette, putting it out with the three others in the candy wrapper.
“I’m sorry.” Aaron admits, but you still don’t say anything. “I was acting and thinking like your significant other, and not your boss. I let my worry get the best of me, and I tried to find a way to shield you from any further harm in what little way I could by telling you to take a week off.” You nod, at least seeing his reasoning a bit clearer now.
“I’m not taking it.”
“You are but-” He holds up a hand before you can protest and glare at him too hard “-but so am I.” You blink, staring at him for a few seconds.
“You are?” He nods, and you lean forward to place the back of your hand on his forehead. He almost jolts at your touch, but doesn’t move away.
“What are you doing?”
“Checking if you have a fever.” Hotch scoffs, but a small smile peaks through as you let your hand fall down. He felt fine, and other than looking a bit tired and very sorry, he looks fine too.
Hotch takes your hand in his, bringing it up to kiss your knuckles and you can’t help the fond smile on your face.
“I’m sorry.” He offers up again, letting go of your hand in favor of moving closer so he can put an arm around your waist and lean his head on your shoulder as you look at the water again. You hum, turning your head ever so slightly so you can kiss the top of your head. You can’t see the little shy smile on Aaron’s face, but you can almost hear it in his almost hopeful voice as he speaks.
“Does that mean I’m forgiven?” You hum, moving your hand to rest on his knee.
“Mostly. But you are the only one doing chores this week.”
“That’s alright with me, as long as I get to spend time with you.” His hand on your jaw turns your head towards him, letting him give a brief kiss to your lips, and then a feather light one just below the butterfly strips on your forehead.
“You’re a fool Aaron.”
“I’m only a fool for you.”
“Cheesy.” You roll your eyes at him with a smile as you get down from the tailgate, Aaron joining you, standing close so he can give you another kiss.
“Always.” He says with a grin, making his eyes light up and you can’t help but kiss him.
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d-criss-news · 3 years
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Nine Songs: Darren Criss
When Disney, Phantom Planet and Mr Hudson collide: Glee star, Emmy and Golden Globe winner and musician Darren Criss talks Andrew Wright through the pivotal songs in his life and the unexpected ways they found him.
“When we are younger, our gateway drugs to a lot of popular things don’t come from the sexiest of places. It’s up to you how proactive you want to be with your curiosity from there, and how far down the rabbit hole you want to go, if you go down at all.”
Choosing the songs that define you is a tricky business to say the least, especially when the power of song has provided an ongoing soundtrack to your life. “When you’re as avid a music consumer as musical artists are, trying to pin down Nine Songs is difficult,” Darren Criss laughs. So much so, his final choices only really crystallise as our conversation draws to its close. “It’s hard for me not to see the value and joy in literally everything,” he explains. “The curse of the creative person is that your ideas and your interests always move way faster than your body can execute.”
Criss is a creative par excellence. As well as his Emmy and Golden Globe winning performance in The Assassination of Gianni Versace, where he played serial killer Andrew Cunanan, to his upcoming role in Muppets Haunted Mansion Halloween special as The Caretaker, he’s also a prolific musician. Criss enjoyed a decadent musical consumption since childhood, so “this was a bit of an archaeological dig,” he admits. As such, everything from jazz standards, to 808s, punk rock, ‘90s teen pop, and musical numbers are excavated in the course of our extemporaneous journey through the music he loves.
Equally on his mind is how to go about approaching the task of creating his Nine Songs, full stop. “The interesting social experiment is: Are my answers going to be songs that actually shaped my life and were formative to me as an artist? Are they songs that were formative to me as a human being? Or am I picking songs that I think represent who I am to people that do not know me? All three of those things aren’t necessarily the same thing.”
He reaches a conclusion of sorts. “For the purposes of making some kind of decision, I’m gonna lean less into trying to look cool to your very cool readership, and more into the literal, ‘What made me think about music in a different way? And hit me in a very emotional way?’ I think that’s probably the healthiest route.”
Embracing the accessibility that characterises Criss’ picks - or at times the initial touchpoints that led him to them - are something he vacillates over during our chat. “I’ve seen a lot of other people’s Nine Songs and they’re super cool. It’s like Leonard Cohen B-sides and old opera records and stuff. I’m gonna be pretty honest with the pop culture zeitgeist of how I grew up but explain why there is so much value in those moments.” His contemplation continues into the next day, Criss’s publicist passes on his regrets at being tentative to admit how he encountered one of his song choices via the Shrek soundtrack.
A yearning to reinterpret accessibility and the value attached to it drives Criss, however. He tells me that a festival performance that applied the anarchic verve of punk rock to a more refined Great American Songbook number remoulded his perception of music entirely. His love of the fusion of these two genres in particular symbolises the salient musical backdrops of his childhood - the guitar bands he played in with friends, and his musical theatre endeavours that led him to Broadway and multiple Ryan Murphy juggernauts, including his breakthrough playing Blaine Anderson in Glee.
Criss employs these contrasting musical lexicons, and other areas in between, on Masquerade, his new EP. Comprising five stand-alone “character-driven” singles, it sees Criss donning different musical personas. “I’m leaning into people that might know me as an actor,” he explains. “Because if actors can do Shakespeare, romantic comedy, and then do a horror movie and wear a prosthetic nose and a wig, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just do that with music.” The song “walk of shame” draws on jazz-standard chords interlaced with hip-hop production, “i can’t dance” looks to new-wave, and “for a night like this” is the product of Criss’ goal to create the ultimate end-of-the-night crowd-pleaser for a new-year bash, wedding or bar mitzvah. “This is all of the parts of me as a lifelong fan of these genres, trying my hand at servicing the pieces of them that I love.”
“I really love all styles of music and understanding what makes them unique and special and what makes them really pop. There are so many things that really make things sing - for lack of a better verb - and I like acknowledging those things and celebrating those things.”
“So, let’s begin. I have runners up and shit, and I have artists, I don’t just have the songs, so we might have to pick them as we go.”
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“Part of Your World” by Jodi Benson
“When people read this, they’ll go ‘That’s cute, he likes Disney songs’, but it’s more profound than that. Some of the most formative pieces of music to hit me at a very early age would have been any of the songs that were coming from ‘The Disney renaissance.’ The early-mid ‘90s explosion of The Little Mermaid, Aladdin and Beauty and The Beast.
"One of the through lines between the three of those musicals was Howard Ashman, who is one of my all-time heroes. Dramaturg, songwriter - he really was the voice behind what made those songs great. I have always loved Howard’s lyrical sensibility and also Alan Menken, his partner who wrote these songs with him. There was a musical structure to a lot of the songs which I would unconsciously pick up in my own songwriting, not just musically, but the idea that not only did somebody make these songs, but they wrote them for a story.
“There’s a clip of Howard Ashman vocal directing Jodi Benson, who was the original voice of Ariel. It’s a wonderful example of his genius, where not only was he songwriting but he was storytelling in the way he would tell her how to perform it, and you can really see the song coming to life in that clip. That’s when you cross the street from ‘It’s a song’ to ‘This is an experience.’
"There are certain ingredients that are required to elevate music that goes beyond just a nice melody, a beautiful orchestration and a good voice. There are things that are required to really give a performance a characterisation, context and a vulnerability, that he architects in real-time with Jodi Benson. You see that what he’s doing is what makes the record so special, and that’s something that’s always been inspiring to me.”
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“MMMBop” by Hanson
“I think my love of Hanson was because some people didn’t like it, so I was like ‘Fuck you, I like this, how do you feel about it?’ But this is difficult for me, because you know, I’m speaking to The Line of Best Fit and we’re trying to be cool! Although, do you know what’s cool? Being accessible! Writing a pop hit when you are 10 years old. Being in a band with your brothers and you’re all below the age of 15, you have a record contract where you are writing, producing and performing songs that are doing well.
“I was 10 years old when their first album Middle of Nowhere came out, and I remember reading somewhere that there were these kids that had a record. At the time, I was playing guitar and I was writing songs, but in my mind I was a kid, and that was it. I couldn’t be on the radio; you had to be a grown up to do this.
"This was the first time where I realised ‘Holy shit, kids can do stuff!’ It’s the value of seeing yourself in the media - that’s a whole other conversation to talk about - but there’s an immense value in feeling like there’s a piece of you out in the zeitgeist and doing well because it’s encouraging. You go, ‘Holy shit, maybe I can do this as well.'
“When you see children doing things, you’re ‘Wow, this is so cute and fabulous’, but then when you actually look at it you go, ‘This is miles above what most people in this age group are capable of,’ and that’s all I saw, because I was in the same age group and I was so inspired by that. This whole album was really a turning point for me, where I was like, ‘I can do this, I can do music too, because these guys can.'
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“Ooh La La” by Faces
“This song really blew my mind. It became my own theme. It’s that ‘Make your heart sing’, nostalgic moment when you’re a teenager, driving in the car listening to it, playing guitar with your friends and you’re singing “I wish that I knew what I know now / When I was younger.” You’re like, ‘because I’m an adult now, I’m 15-years-old. If I only knew what I know now.’
“I was doing theatre from a young age and I was part of a young conservatory called A.C.T. in San Francisco. By way of somebody who knew somebody, I had an audition for a movie. As a kid not being near New York or Los Angeles it was really exciting, and this audition was for a film called ‘Max Fischer’, which would become the movie Rushmore, which would become one of my favourite movies of all time by the now very distinguished Wes Anderson.
“Separate from my own objective love of Wes Anderson, when this movie came out I was just around the age of getting into my own sort of identity with music, but also movies - indie movies - and trying to assert who I was. So, I see this movie Rushmore and I love it. I love the soundtrack, I love it so much, it’s one of my favourite albums ever. This song is the end sequence, and the way it made me feel - the vocals on it, I could play it on guitar and it was part of a cool movie - it really represented a lot in my life.
“And because of the acting thing, and Rushmore being great - it’s about this kid in high-school who's misunderstood but has his own agenda - everything about it was just so fucking cool to me. To this day, I cite that song as one of my favourite records of all time.”
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“Recently Distressed” by Phantom Planet
“A guy that really formed the way I would sing and write songs is Alex Greenwald, the frontman of Phantom Planet. I went to see Phantom Planet because I loved Rushmore and I found out that Jason Schwartzman [who had been cast as Max Fischer] was also the drummer for a band called Phantom Planet.
"So, when I saw their name on the bill I went, but I didn't know their music. I was barely 14, but their set blew my mind. It was Rock and Roll, but I loved Alex Greenwald’s voice. I loved everything, and I would follow their career from there. I always tell people that my voice is a combination of me trying to be Alex Greenwald, Paul McCartney and Rufus Wainwright, but failing. Alex was incredibly formative for me.
“One of their biggest records was a little while after I first saw them, which was the song for The O.C., "California." That was more of an Elvis Costello thing, and they employed a lot of stuff that sounded to me like The Beatles and a lot of ‘60s mod/pop-rock. But later they would employ things from Fugazi, Radiohead and harder shit, and that eclecticism, again, only accelerated my love for Phantom Planet.
“Recently Distressed” is from their 1998 album Phantom Planet Is Missing. This was a cool rock song that employed these George [Harrison] and Paul [McCartney] background vocals and included all of the things that I loved. It was harder but melodic and employed minor 4th chords and more complicated chords than I was used to. I had grown up with power chords - which are very Gregorian - on a lot of alt. punk rock, like Green Day or Nirvana, and if Kurt Cobain was using power chords then that’s how I was playing guitar. Hearing this music was like ‘Oh, I’m using full chords, not sevenths, minor 4th chords, diminished chords’, shit that I would learn to use more and more.
“When you haven’t experienced much, anything that gives a hint towards possibility, even though it’s probably always been there, you’re like, ‘I like this, I’ve always kind of liked this, but it’s very encouraging to hear somebody else do it and it’s gonna make me reconsider my possibilities.’ That was literally the moment that my power chords turned into full barre chords.”
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“Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk” by Rufus Wainwright
“I forgot the other day how I got into Rufus Wainwright, because all of this stuff I was getting into quite young. It’s like when I talk to 11-13 year olds, it’s funny to think that this was when I was really starting to build my musical identity. But then I remembered, and I didn’t want to say because I didn’t want to sound uncool, because he is such a revered artist who exists in a much cooler place than what I’m about to say.
“I loved soundtracks and I would always buy soundtracks for movies that had cool playlists. I had the Shrek soundtrack, and there’s a cover of Leonard Cohen’s seminal “Hallelujah” that Rufus does and he smashes it, and I’m like, ‘Who the fuck is Rufus Wainwright? What a beautiful voice.’ Then I saw that he was going to be at the Virgin Megastore in San Francisco one week, so I go and he’s there promoting his new album Poses. I remember I didn’t have enough money to buy the album that day, so I had him sign my sneaker and I saved that shoe.
“The first song on Poses was “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk”, which is a very dark and reflective song about his own battles with addiction, but he’s singing it over this really beautiful, whimsical song that has a lot of really great wordplay. I always love when artists, especially lyricists, can encapsulate an idea with not exactly what they’re talking about. The song’s called “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk”, it’s not called “Addiction”. Its talking about things that he craved and how that’s representative of other things that he’s gone through. There was a sophistication and elegance to that that I really gravitated towards, that I didn’t possess but wanted to shoot for. So when I saw him, that was a big one for me and he would also continue to influence me later in my life.
“I’ve become friends with Rufus since. I’ve performed with him and we’ve made records together, which is crazy. His songwriting was very complex and punk-rock, but he had this classic cabaret voice, the kind of voice that I don’t have. I was fascinated that there was somebody that could write this really dark material but have such elegance on top of it. He was virtuosic on the piano, which I thought was very cool because musicianship is always the thing that gets me going the most about artists.
“You know what? People say, ‘Don’t meet your heroes.' I completely disagree. Chase the living fuck out of your heroes. I’ve spent a lifetime doing so, it’s made me a better artist, and I’ve sometimes got to meet them and work with them. I’ve worked on music with Alex Greenwald of Phantom Planet. I’ve performed with Hanson. I’ve performed those Disney songs with Alan Menken at The Hollywood Bowl.
"This is all because there are people that I love who I have put on my vision board, and the things that they have done are the things that are bringing me to them. So it is nuts, but at the same time you’re like, ‘Well, what else did you think would happen?’ They did stuff that some part of me connected with, so obviously there’s a magnetic pull towards that person.
“Rufus Wainwright is one of my absolute favourite artists of all time and like I said, me trying to sing like him and failing is a big part of my own journey as an artist.”
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“3x5” by John Mayer
“John Mayer’s another guy that came around when I was 15. I heard a song of his on a middle-of-the-night, singer/songwriter college radio show. This is where I used to get music. You would listen to these carefully curated playlists that you wouldn’t be able to hear anywhere else, and the host played “No Such Thing”, a new song by this young kid who had just dropped out of Berklee College of Music - John Mayer.
“I’m listening to this song and I’m like, ‘Not only is this guitar playing really interesting, but the lyrical value and everything that is going on here ticks all the boxes.' It was jazz, but it was pop. And he did something that all these other guys and girls I’ve mentioned did. They made something very unique and very accessible.
“I immediately went out to buy this album, Room For Squares, and I listened to it over and over again. It was an album that was really formative for me. "3x5” is a really beautiful song that employs a lot of chord structures and melodies that blew my fucking mind at the time, and it made me wish that I could write songs like that.
“That album was a huge turning point in the way I played the guitar, because it was the first time in my life where I would look up tabs. Up until this point in my life, if I heard a song I could play it instantly. It was like a party trick, I would get how it worked if I heard it, because most of the songs I would hear on the radio - especially those that involved a guitar - were [centred around] power chords. And now I’m hearing all of these ninth chords and thirteenths, and I’m like, ‘What the fuck is this?’ So I’d have to look up tabs.
“I think any young artist can attest to this - when you try and learn other people’s shit, it’s the best tool for educating yourself. Playing other people’s music really helps you lock in what your own style is. Trying to learn these songs - and sometimes pulling it off and sometimes not - really changed the way that my hands moved around the guitar and considered chords and voicings that I’d never really thought of.
“There’s another tie to musical theatre here, where I remember seeing Audra McDonald, who is a very venerated theatre actor, and she did a cabaret. If you’re familiar with cabaret culture, it’s more about performing the story of the songs – ‘Life is a cabaret’. She did a John Mayer song because she thought it was from a musical theatre show, and I was so tickled by this, because I was like ‘Yeah, if you really think about it, I don’t think he knows this and I don’t think his fan base even thinks about this, but there’s a number of his songs that feel very theatrical in the way that the lyrics play with each other and the way the chords move’.
"When I saw this I thought, ‘That is why I like John Mayer’, because yes, he’s an amazing guitar player, but he’s also a really strong songwriter.”
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“Cabaret” by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
“Also, around this time growing up in San Francisco, as a guitar player playing music with your buddies, the number one thing that you play is punk rock. There are different parts of the spectrum of punk rock, there's the NOFX, Swingin’ Utters, like real punk, punk. And then there’s the pop-punk thing that was happening at the same time, which was also equally influential - blink-182 and Green Day.
“Fat Mike was the frontman of NOFX. I loved NOFX, and Me First and the Gimme Gimmes were a supergroup of different members from different punk bands, of which Fat Mike was one of the main architects. They would cover songs and turn them into punk rock songs. They have an album of hits from the ‘60s, and they also have an album called Me First and the Gimme Gimmes: Are a Drag, and that record is just a tonne of musical theatre covers that are done through punk rock.
“That was completely in line with everything I loved at this time of my life but didn’t really know how to articulate. I loved punk rock but I also really loved musical theatre. Not only the performative element of it, but there was a real musicality to musical theatre that wasn’t as present in some of the other shit that was popular at the time, just harmonically, or where chords would go. There was a sophistication I loved that seemed to not exist in punk rock.
“Then hearing Fat Mike at The Warped Tour going ‘Alright, which one of you Motherfuckers loves Julie Andrews?’ and hearing a mixed bag of reactions, because people were ‘What? I was not expecting that from you, sir?’ And then they start playing “My Favourite Things”, a classic Rodgers and Hammerstein song which is very accessible, but sophisticated nonetheless. And I am just living. I’m like, ‘This has got the attitude and simplicity of punk rock, but the sophistication of a beautiful song.’
“That was the first time in my life where I went, ‘It’s just all music. All these categories and boxes are completely arbitrary.’ So I thought, ‘I can do that.' I was playing power chords in punk bands but I realised that you can take chords and make them into other rhythms and voicings and have the same song. I could take a punk song and make it jazz. I could take a jazz song and make it country. So, quite providentially, I would end up on Glee, where they took popular songs and would sometimes do their own versions.
“By that point, I had been doing this my whole life. The first time this ever became a possibility for me was seeing Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, and that way of thinking about music and genre. I’ve put that into Masquerade, and it’s all born from that moment of ‘Oh my God, nothing has to be one thing. It’s just about how you look at it.'
“Cabaret” is from a pretty famous musical that I would’ve probably heard about later in life, but I first heard that song as a punk song and then I went back and heard the original. It doesn’t matter how these things happen, the inspiration happens and then you can go from there. But Me First and The Gimme Gimmes were a huge gateway drug and I play “Cabaret” now every year at my festival. That’s why the festival is called Elsie Fest, because it covers the song.”
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“Modern Nature” by Sondre Lerche
“One of the great joys of being a younger brother is that you get to inherit the music of your elders. My brother and I were both really proactive consumers of music, so we would share stuff with each other all the time. But then he would come home from college, which is like coming home from a music festival essentially, right? He was in a new time zone with new people, so he’d bring home these mix CDs that he’d made from people that he’d heard about, and he brings home this guy named Sondre Lerche.
“Hearing this guy blew my mind, because he also was using jazz chords and drawing on musical theatre. Musical theatre’s a massive category, so I can’t just say that musical theatre sounds like one thing, but when I say this, I’m referring to The American Songbook, the jazz standard songbook. “Modern Nature” was a duet that I would go on to play many times with one of my oldest musical collaborators, Charlene Kaye. When we got to college and we both found out that we loved this guy.
“There was a much more whimsical way to how he wrote these songs. And what’s crazy is that loving this guy meant that we also loved Rufus Wainwright, that we also loved these other artists. But Sondre was the first time I considered that I loved that type of music, but I didn’t know that you could be a singer/songwriter and put out music that sounded like it.
“I don’t know if ‘twee’ is the right word to use, but with “Modern Nature” there was a playfulness about it, and again, a musicality that I really gravitated towards. There is a through line - there was a sophistication that was accessible, and me trying to learn those songs did make me rethink the way that I was writing music. The structures were weird and different and I liked that.
“To this day, I find myself writing songs that I think might be difficult for people to ingest, because they’re a little too left of centre, and I realise that I’m trying to write like Sondre Lerche, or I’m unconsciously just copying him.”
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“Everything Happens to Me” by Mr Hudson & The Library
“I was in an H&M in Stockholm when I was 21, and I heard this really cool groove and the lyric was “Why must I always play the clown?” It was sung with a really thick British accent, had an 808 feel on it, and lyrically it had an attitude. Who would say something that sounds so like you’re in a Gilbert & Sullivan musical, but it feels hard? It was cool.
“I went home and looked this up and it was off the record A Tale of Two Cities by Mr Hudson and the Library, which would really, really fuck me up. I bought the album immediately because I loved this song. I had to order it on the internet because I couldn’t find it. It was doing well in England and he was on the festival circuit in the early-mid 2000s, but the first song on the album was a musical theatre cover with 808s.
“It was a pared-down, sort of a hip-hop version of “On The Street Where You Live” from My Fair Lady, and I’m like ‘No fucking way, this guy gets where my head is.’ I’d thought about punk rock musical theatre, but I never thought about 808s and 909s scoring these beautiful songs. I go down the track list and he has “Everything Happens to Me”, which is another very famous standard, and he had this really cool, what we would now call chill-hop, ‘study beats’ version of this song. I was like, ‘This is it. This guy gets that good music is good music and you can reinterpret it to offer it as a new song.’
“I would later become great friends with Mr Hudson. I got to meet him years later when I was with Columbia Records, and they said to me ‘Who do you want to meet?’ He was at the top of my list. I went to London and we’ve been friends ever since and have created all kinds of music together.
“He told me a story where Tyler the Creator went up to him once at Coachella and said, ‘Oh man, “Everything Happens To Me”, that’s like my song.’ We both wondered if Tyler the Creator knew that it was a Chet Baker cover. And we were thinking how cool it is that you can offer these songs to a new audience through a different lens. Tyler’s a smart guy, he’s very cultured, and I’m sure he did know. But it’s more the idea that if someone experienced this song and didn’t know that it was a cover, and this is like the first time they ever get to experience it.
“Mr Hudson would go on to do his own thing with Kanye and was on 808s & Heartbreak and has had his own career. I think “Supernova” was a hit in the UK, it didn’t really cross over here to The States, but before that moment for him, that Mr Hudson and The Library album changed my life. People use that phrase willy-nilly, but this literally was a turning point in my life. It all had to do with the same thing that happened with these other songs, where I saw someone do what I always wanted to do but didn’t really know how to pull off. Where he had this fusing of old songs delivered through a contemporary lens, but also laced it with his own original material that also employed the things that made that old songwriting interesting.
“It’s like changing the font of a great essay but finding the font and figuring out that that font is its own art form. He really displayed that marvellously on this.”
The Masquerade EP is out now
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Gorgeous
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Summary: You’d spent the last year and a half pretending to hate Ransom Drysdale. One Christmas trip could break that facade.
Pairings: Ransom Drysdale x Plus Size!Black!Reader (though it’s pretty inclusive. It’s just what I had in my head when I wrote it)
Warnings: And there was only one bed, enemies to lovers, fluff, smut, swearing, secret crush, daddy kink
Words: 7K
(A/N: Yes. I pretty much wrote a Hallmark movie. Yes it is also based on Gorgeous by Taylor Swift because I’d also hate Ransom Drysdale for making me fall in love with his stupidly handsome face. No I will not be taking questions.)
Tagging: @titty-teetee @queenoftheworldisdead @olyvoyl @liquorlaughslove​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @mariahthelioness29 @donutloverxo @navybrat817​ @stargazingfangirl18​ @hqneyyincc​ @iam-laiya​ @zaddychris​ @emjayewrites​
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Contrary to popular belief, you didn’t hate Ransom. Sure, his smug smile made you want to punch him in the face sometimes. But you kind of liked the vein that popped out on the side of his head when you did something to irritate him. Or the way he rolled his eyes at you when you did something to annoy him. And you annoyed him a lot. It was like you couldn’t help yourself.
To be honest you kind of like those things too much. Not that you’d ever admit it out loud. Imagine everyone finding out that you had some little primary school like crush on this asshole. Down to the point where you’d push him into sand to prove that you didn’t like him in the slightest.
Since your best friend was marrying his best friend, you were spending way too much time with him. You thought you’d done a good job at convincing Monica, your best friend, that you absolutely couldn’t stand him. She seemed to buy it since every eye roll was appropriately placed anytime you thought you might laugh at one of his rude jokes.
So, when your best friend asked you to accompany her and her fiancé to visit his family, you were positive. It might be nice seeing how these super rich people did the holidays. You’d met them a few times and they’d been super nice. Nothing like how Ransom or your own boyfriend’s family came off as stuck up as hell. Also, you were kind of dying to see the decor.
Until that day came. “I’m sorry!” Ava said for the millionth time since she’d told you the news when she’d FaceTimed you. That not only was Ransom coming, you’d have to ride with him in his Beemer because she’d packed more than she’d expected and there’d be no more room in Simon’s car.
You groaned softly, wrinkling up your nose. Your cats rubbing themselves against you because they knew you were leaving and loved to get all needy when you did that. You were already having a hard morning so this was kind of the last thing that you needed. “Maybe I shouldn’t go,” you suggested, even though you were supposed to be leaving in about five minutes.
She pouted. “But I need you there so I won’t be bored.”
“You know David,” your own boyfriend who was not going with you because he had to work and also because you weren’t sure he’d be your boyfriend by the time you came home, “hates Ransom.” It still made for a good excuse, though.
“What he won’t know, won’t kill him?” She shrugged. “Look it won’t even be that bad! It’s just the car ride.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, for four hours.”
“Just do this for me,” she whined. “Please. I’d do it for you.”
“Fine, but next time my boss has one of those boring dinners at his house, I’m making you go with me.”
She gasped. “Deal!”
There was a honk outside and it was safe to say who it was. You rolled your eyes. “You’re so lucky I love you because I’m already annoyed.” You peeked outside the window to see him aggressively honking.
Fucking asshole.
Once you’d hung up with Ava, you grabbed your bags so you could hurry out of the house. Luckily David was already at work so you didn’t have to explain to him why you were getting in the car with him. Ransom seemed to like getting under his skin, which you’d noticed is what he did to most people. Including you, but it seemed to be for a different reason than most people had.
“Hey,” you greeted him, as you struggled to carry your stuff to the trunk. Even though you were trying to keep this facade up, you didn’t want to be rude.
“Can you hurry? We’re on a strict timeline, Buttercup.”
You hated when he called you that. “First, don’t call me that. Second, maybe I’d finish sooner if you’d help.”
There was this smirk on his lips as he finally opened up his car door so he could take one of the bags out of your hands and then the others. “Did you pack your entire closet?” He asked as he tried to make it all fit in the trunk.
“I have a lot of needs,” you retorted.
“That’s probably why you need that sugar daddy, huh,” he said. This is why David didn’t like him. Okay yeah maybe you’re twenty-six with a forty-seven-year-old boyfriend. Sure, he brought you nice things, but what was wrong with that.
“He’s my boyfriend,” you made a point to emphasize. You weren’t going to tell Ransom Drysdale that you were with your boyfriend because he was your daddy dom. That’d be fucking stupid.
“Look, sugar daddy boyfriend whatever,” he said, dismissing you. “I just think you should pack lighter.”
“Whatever. Aren’t we on a tight schedule or something?” You rolled your eyes before going over to the passenger seat.
“Hey, hey, hey!” He stopped you to open the door himself. “I don’t need you to scratch my shit. You have to handle with care.”
You tried not to laugh which made you bite your bottom lip instead making you taste the mint chapstick you’d just put on. “You’re such a control freak,” you said, having to brush passed him so you could sit.
He didn’t say anything as he closed it gently.
The ride had been pretty boring so far. You yawned a few times. Wiggled in your seat trying to get comfortable. He surprisingly pulled over to get you coffee and even got you your blanket so you could curl up at some point.
If you weren’t trying to hate him, you may have swooned. He also said it’s because he didn’t feel like hearing you complain so maybe less swooning anyway. You reached for the radio and he smacked your hand away. “Ow!” You gasped.
“I’m just fucking with you.” He laughed, glancing over as you glared at him.
“Dick,” you mumbled under your breath as you reached forward again to change the station.
“What was that?” He asked.
“I said you’re a dick,” you repeated, sitting down as a song you liked started playing.
He groaned. “I hate this song.”
“Too bad,” you snickered.
“Need I remind you that this is my car, Buttercup?”
You narrowed your eyes at him because he called you that damn nickname. “Whatever. At least it wasn’t that Dad stuff you listen to.”
“Should you really be the one making fun of Dads?” He laughed.
“Hey! David doesn’t even want kids.”
He raised his eyebrow. “You don’t?” He asked looking genuinely surprised at that.
“I mean... maybe. I don’t know.” You shrugged. “Do you?”
“Well, I hate kids, but maybe for the right women. Who knows?” He once again took a quick glance at you, with this small dorky smile on his face.
That was surprising. You felt yourself starting to get to where your heart was swelling in your chest. “Why are we talking about this, you weirdo.”
He chuckled as you cross your arms in front of your chest as you looked out the window.
For the rest of the car ride only the music filled the silence. You wanted to say something. Thought about at least trying. Every time you started to open your mouth no sound came out.
You’d look at him while he focused on the road. Just because you couldn’t like him didn’t mean you couldn’t look at him, right? Though it was bothering you that there was a hole in his cashmere sweater.
“I’ll open your door,” he said getting out. You waited for him to open your side, but you heard the trunk pop open. You turned around watching him take out your four bags along with his. How the fuck was he so strong.
He opened up your car door finally. “Do you want me to take some?” You asked him with a frown as he closed the door with his elbow.
“It’s okay,” he replied already walking off. You scurried behind him trying to catch up.
Ava and Simon were right behind you. Ave got out and went to hug you. “See I told you it wouldn’t be so bad,” she said. “Wait why is Random holding all your stuff?”
You shrugged. “He insisted.”
“Weird,” she replied.
Simon’s family was pretty nice, but they were so busy doting on the happy couple you were kind of ignored. It was actually kind of nice because when you met David’s family, they pretty much scrutinized everything you did. His mother was honestly the bane of your existence. Like, lady, if your son hadn’t had a kid by now how was that your fault.
That was another thing that made you treat Ransom the way you did. You’d met Linda a few times now and she already hated you. You could only imagine how she was towards his girlfriends. You’d only seen the tip of the iceberg of the insanity of the Thrombeys, though Harlan had been nice every time you’d met him.
“Okay, so, it turns out that one of Simon’s cousins decided to come at last minute and uh,” Ava took a deep breath, “you two have to share a room okay, bye!” She tried to grab Simon’s hand, but you managed to catch her first.
“What,” you said a little too loudly so you lower your voice, “the hell, Ava.”
“You’re shitting me,” Ransom groaned.
“It won’t be so bad just think of it as a sleepover. Maybe he can paint your nails and you two can do face masks together,” she started rambling off.
You weren’t as amused. “Or maybe me and you could share.”
“Hell no! I’ve slept in a bed with you. You’re a cuddler.” She frowned. “Besides I wanna sleep with my boo.”
“You’re the worst best friend ever,” you told her. “Fine, but he’s sleeping on the floor.”
“Like hell I am,” Ransom said.
“I have a boyfriend!” You reminded them. “I can’t sleep in a bed with another guy. Especially Ransom.”
He raised an eyebrow. “We’ve been over this, Buttercup. You don’t have a boyfriend; you have a sugar daddy.”
You huffed. “Alright that’s it I’m calling an Uber.”
“And paying a hundred bucks to get home?” Ava rolled her eyes. “Come on just tough it out.”
“I hope you know that I hate you now,” you told her.
“Good. We’ll work it out in couple’s therapy.”
—————
The first night was awful. It felt like you couldn’t sleep. While Ransom seemed to sleep like a baby on the other side of the wall of pillows, you’d built between the two of you.
Even when you’d tried to move away from him, he’d just hold you in place. At some point you just had to accept your fate. At least you were cozy. So, you just kind of let it happen because who knows if this could again. When you actually woke up, he was already gone. You were neatly tucked under the comforter.
As you were finishing up your face routine and making yourself look presentable, Ransom was coming back in. You’d never seen him with sweats on before because he was usually such a preppy asshole, but he looked good. “Morning.”
“Morning,” you mumbled.
“How’d you sleep?” He asked.
You raised an eyebrow. “Why? You didn’t do something did you?”
“Me? Never?” He smirked before walking passed you and into the bathroom.
You walked through the house, taking in the way everything was beautifully decorated for the holiday. Honestly this place was house porn. “Good morning!” Simon’s mom, Trish, greeted you as you walked into the kitchen.
“Good morning,” you replied with a grin.
“Did you sleep okay?”
You nodded. “Yeah, it was perfect,” you answered.
“Breakfast will be ready soon so why don’t you go wake up Simon and Ava.”
You nodded. “Yeah of course.” God they were too nice. Maybe you need to be around rich people more often.
Oh wait, no. David’s family came from money and they were awful. Also see Ransom.
Simon had come to answer the door, freshly showered. Ava was just coming out of the bathroom. “Morning,” he said.
“Morning. Your mom said breakfast is going to be ready.”
He nodded. “Okay. Babe, you ready?”
“You go ahead,” she told him. “Y/N, c’mere.”
You and Simon exchanged looks and he shrugged. “Guess I’ll get Ransom.”
Ava waited until he was completely out of the room before motioning for you to close the door. “So,” this shit eating grin appeared on her face, “how was it?”
“How was what?”
“Sleeping with Ransom.” She rolled her eyes dramatically. “How was it?”
You shrugged. “We put a pillow wall up.” You really didn’t want to mention the cuddling.
“What? That’s it?” She groaned. “I always thought he’d be a bed hog.”
“I stayed on my side, he stayed on his.”
“That’s boring. I at least thought you’d have something to talk shit about.” She sighed. As far as you knew her and Ransom got along. She just found it super entertaining how you bitched about him.
The two of you went to sit in the dining room, waiting for everyone else. Trish sat down not to long after bringing the two of you mimosas. “Oh my gosh thank you!” Ava said getting up to hug her mother-in-law.
“Of course, Sweetheart.” She grinned. “So, Y/N, how long have you and Ransom been together?” She winked, bringing her champagne flute to her mouth. “I always said that Ransom just needs to find a sweet girl to settle down with. Maybe melt down that cold exterior he puts up. You know he really is a sweet boy.”
It was a good thing you hadn’t even been able to take a sip because you probably would have choked on it. “Her and Ransom aren’t together,” Ava answered before you could.
Her jaw dropped. “Oh, I just thought because you were fine sharing a room.”
You shook your head. “It’s okay.”
Ransom took a seat beside you while Simon sat on the other side of Ava. Trish looked between the two of you because this table was huge and Ransom could have sat anywhere else. He could have sat on the other side of Simon if he’d wanted to.
Breakfast went by pretty uneventfully, though the pancakes the housekeeper made were kind of to die for. “So, what are you kids planning for today?” Simon’s dad, Warren, asked as plates started being cleared away.
“Well, Ava’s never been ice skating,” Simon said.
“That’ll be fun,” Trish said. To be honest you were kind of nervous about ice skating. You’d done it before, but ate shit hard. “Is this your first time, too?” She asked you.
“No,” you replied. “I’m not very good at it, though.”
“I’m sure Ransom can help you,” she said with a grin.
Ransom groaned softly beside you. “Yeah of course.”
  As soon as you got on the ice you could feel yourself going down. Ransom grabbed onto you to hold you up. “Don’t eat shit on me already,” he said with a smirk on his face.
“If I go down, I’m taking you with me,” you snap back at him.
He rolled his eyes. “Let’s just get this over with.”
It was a good thing you’d bought these leggings that were fluffy on the inside and this jacket you were wearing was cozy because it was freezing out here. Ransom had to
At some point you kind of started to think that you had the hang of it. Like maybe you could actually do it. He started to slowly let go of you, but the minute you started to feel unsteady he’d grab your hand. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” he said sighing softy. He stood for a minute holding your hand so he could skate with you to the middle of the rink. “Hey can we talk about something. Really quick?”
You nodded. “Sure.”
“Hey, so,” he looked down at you with this almost nervous look on his face. “There’s been something I wanted to say, but I wasn’t really sure how to before.”
You nodded. “Yeah, what’s up.”
“Um,” he sighed. “Well, okay, so I-“ well he didn’t get to finish as this asshole barreled into you. “Y/N!”
You hit the ice pretty hard almost bouncing up as you came back down. “What the hell!”
Ransom immediately helped you up. “Watch where you’re fucking going!” He yelled back after the guy who’d already started skating away without even saying sorry. “Are you okay?
“My leg like hurts really bad,” you felt yourself tear up because you’re a little baby.
He sighed. “Shit, okay,” he said. “Are you okay to stand?”
“Oh my gosh!” Ava came over to the two of you. “Are you okay? I told Simon to go tell security. That guys been such an asshole this whole time.”
“Yeah thanks,” you said.
“Here why don’t we got some hot chocolate,” Ransom said.
It felt so nice being back in your boots. Ransom had you sit before going to get the drinks. You couldn’t help yourself as you rubbed over the spot on your leg that had been hurting super bad. Wincing at the tenderness.
“How’s your leg?” Ransom asked, sitting beside you with the steaming beverages in hand.
You brought your cup up to your mouth loving the warmth against your cold nose. “It’s fine,” you answered.
He reached down to touch the spot making you jump. He laughed. “Wow usually I have to get a girl naked before they start reacting like that.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to play off as annoyed, but it didn’t work since you couldn’t help yourself as a smile spread on your face. “Oh, shut up.” You blew at the steam before taking a sip. “So, what did you wanna talk to me about?”
“It’s.... it’s nothing,” he said picking at some lint on his coat, suddenly getting all quiet. He took a sip of his own drink.
Here’s where you made a mistake. Which is the mistake that got you into this in the first place. Because every time you looked into his eyes, seeing those long lashes framing those deep blue eyes made you feel like you might drown in them.
And you fucking looked into them. After that first time you told yourself to never do that again. That it’s what made you trick yourself into thinking that you liked him the first time. No. He was just so close.
You pretty much fought yourself on this for the rest of the day. Even during the little shopping trip that the two of you dragged the boys to when you’d been debating with yourself if you wanted to buy this gorgeous coat or this really dress. Not that you needed more of either.
“Here just get both,” Ransom grumbled, taking out his card.
“What!” You gasped. “No, I can’t ask you to do that!”
He shook his head. “It’s okay. Just wear it for the Christmas party.”
“But I already have a dress,” you said.
“Look, I’m sure your sugar daddy buys you very nice things at Forever 21, but I insist.”
You rolled your eyes as he quickly handed the worker his card. “Hey!”
“Too late,” he replied with a shrug that smug smile on his face.
You looked down at the glass as your things were being wrapped up nice and neat. The gold necklace had a diamond moon pendent. It looked so delicate and would have gone so good with that dress.
“You like it?” He asked, noticing.
“Yeah, it’s beautiful,” you said. “But this is already too much.”
“C‘mon, we have to get back for dinner,” Ava said as Ransom grabbed the shopping bags.
—————
At some point every night the pillows would end up on the floor and you’d end up nestled into the crook of his neck. He’d have his arms around you until you’d roll over onto your side where he’d wrap himself around you again. Then you’d wake up to him gone because he went on his runs at the ass crack of dawn. You noticed how you’d be snuggly tucked into bed each time.
A part of you wanted to feel bad. That you were away and cuddling with another man every night. It was hard to feel guilty when you weren’t sure if your boyfriend was taking advantage of you being gone not that he knew that you knew. He was probably in some club, too, doing you don’t even want to know what. You knew when you left that you may be going home to end things.
You were trying not to think about it. Hell, you hadn’t even told Ava. You wanted everyone to have a good holiday and not worry. Besides you wanted to have fun. Which is why the four of you were going to some club tonight.
The four of you had went to dinner at this really nice restaurant. There were a few times when you’d caught Ransom looking at you all weird. “What?” You wrinkled your nose.
He cleared his throat before going back to picking at the salmon on his plate. “Nothing.”
As the drinks finally started flowing, you started to get a little loose. Ransom was sitting beside you being all sulky as he sipped from the glass of whiskey on ice.
“What’s wrong?” You asked him. Okay to be honest maybe you were more than a little loose, but you were just trying to have some fun.
“Nothing.” He glanced over at you then back to his drink.
“Hey,” this girl sat on the other side of him. “My friend was wondering if you wanted to dance.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Why couldn’t your friend ask me herself?”
“She’s a little shy, but she’s cute.”
Ransom glanced over at you. “Nah. I’m just sitting here with my friend.”
The girl pouted, but finally left. You snickered. “I’m just sitting here with my friend,” you mimicked. “What too cool to dance?”
“Because I don’t know. I didn’t feel like it.” He shrugged then took another sip of his drink. “Do you wanna dance maybe?” He finally looked over at you and you were almost hypnotized, but managed to keep your composure.
“With you?”
He rolled his eyes. “No, Buttercup, with my grandpa.”
You laughed once again ignoring the nickname. Maybe it was kind of growing on you. It only took a year and a half. You stood up. “Fine, but you better not stomp on my feet.”
“I might on purpose.” He got up standing in front of you. For a minute you thought he might kiss you until he grabbed your hand to pull you onto the dance floor.
You didn’t want to admit this either, but you were having fun hanging out with Ransom. Ava and Simon were understandably in their own little bubble of love and you didn’t want to interrupt.
After the club Simon had the bright idea of going in the hot tub to warm up. Since you were all a little tipsy that sounded like a great idea.
You had to wear your long sweater out of the house since it was freezing. You in your own little space while Ransom seemed to scoot way to close to you. The four of you were just talking mostly. Enjoying the hot water after being in the freezing cold.
All of you were talking when Ava gave Simon a kiss, which got deeper to the point where they were showing you way more than you needed to see. “I think I speak for both of us in that we really do not want to witness the two of you procreating,” Ransom said.
Ava made a face at him while Simon laughed. He whispered in her ear where she pecked his lips again. The both of them started getting out right after. “We’ll see you two in the morning.” He grinned.
“Goodnight!” She said.
“Night,” you and Ransom said in unison.
You went to the side that your incredibly horny friends had been on which had been across from him. His eyes were closed with his head tilted back. You splashed water at him making him jump a little.
“Hey!” He splashed you back. You laughed as you did it a second time. “Alright, alright,” he said.
You did it again for good measure. “Can’t have someone seeing you have too much fun.”
He went back to his previous position this time putting his muscular arms on the ledge. You wouldn’t care to admit how long you stared at his biceps and shoulders. Then taking the quickest glance at his abs. Then that neck that you kind of wanted to put your mouth on. This is bullshit.
Why was he allowed to be this hot? It couldn’t be enough that he was an asshole. He had to be hot about it. Okay you looked at his pecs and tried to see if you could get a glance of what may have been in his swim trunk. Whatever.
“What are you doing?” He caught you, a smirk appearing on his annoyingly perfect face.
“It’s called minding my own business,” you replied. “You should try it.”
He laughed. “You’re such a brat.” You shrugged turning your head to look at nothing. “Is that what your sugar daddy sees in you?”
“He’s not my sugar daddy. I mean he buys me things like for my birthday, but... that’s not what our relationship is about. I don’t even know if we are in a relationship anymore.” You don’t know why you were spilling all of this to Ransom of all people.
Ransom frowned. “What happened?”
You looked down and sighed blowing out your cheeks after. “Well...” you sighed again. Your stomach was turning now. “You have to take it to your grave.”
“I won’t tell anyone.”
You rolled your eyes. “Promise?”
“I promise.”
You sighed, biting your lip weighing in your options. On one hand it wasn’t Ransom’s business. You really hadn’t told Ava this. You didn’t want her to worry.
“So, he’s not my sugar daddy,” you said, hoping he got the hint.
You could tell he did by the grin on his face and the way he raised his eyebrows. “You?” He explained. “No there’s no way and here I always thought you’d be boring in bed.”
You rolled your eyes. “Shut up no you didn’t.”
“I took you for a dead fish kind of girl,” he teased. “It’s always the cute ones.”
Your eyes widened at what he said. Then so did his when he realized what he said. “Anyway, so yeah that’s how we started off as,” you decided to ignore what he’d just said.
“Alright so go on.”
“Yeah, so it turns out I’m not the only one,” you said. “He’s been going to these clubs and he doesn’t think that I know.”
His jaw dropped. “This is the plot twist I really wasn’t expecting. I gotta tell ya.”
You shook your head. “Shut up.” You splashed him again.
“Stop!” He laughed, doing it back to you.
As you kept splashing at him, he came over to you, grabbing your hands to keep you from doing it again. “Let go of me.” You laughed.
“No.” He wasn’t laughing anymore. Just looking at you. Fuck he was putting you under his spell. You were supposed to not looking into his eyes. How did you make this mistake so many times? “Y/N, I... don’t make things weird.”
“What?” You laughed.
“Yeah. Don’t make this weird,” he said again softly before brushing his lips against yours finally.
“And here I’d always heard that you were a ladies man, Ransom,” you teased. “That was kind of weak.”
“Yeah, well maybe you bring out the worst in me.” A dopey smile had spread across his face. It was okay because there was one on yours too.
“Oh whatever.” You rolled your eyes still smiling. He leaned over to kiss you again but you put your hand against his lips to stop him. “I’m getting kind of tired actually.”
You walked back to your room. All wrapped in your sweater because fuck it was freezing now. You also wouldn’t say this out loud, but his lips felt really nice. As you made it to the bedroom the two of you were sharing, he came on not too far after, grabbing your arm to pull you into a kiss. He’s so dramatic.
As his lips worked against yours, you wrapped your arms around his neck. He felt so good. You can’t remember the last time David kissed you like this. “Fuck it’s actually really cold,” Ransom said.
You laughed. “I know I’m freezing.”
“How about we take a shower,” he said. “Maybe we could save some water together?”
“Oh yeah. We would totally be helping the environment.”
He grabbed you hand to lead you the rest of the way. You pulled off your wet clothes. As soon as you felt time hot water on your skin, you moaned. “
Jesus Christ, why not shower in hell,” he hissed.
“I’m already there.” You threw your arms around his neck. He leaned down to kiss you again. Pawing at your ass. He was so close this time.
You tried to act like nothing had happened as you finished getting ready for bed. As you got all settled under the covers, you felt your body finally start to warm up. He slid in next to you. This was the first time that you didn’t even attempt to put the wall of pillows up.
He pulled you all close to him. “You little shit! Are you naked?” You gasped.
He laughed. “Yeah. I don’t even know why you bothered.”
“Who said I was going to do anything with you?”
“Well, what if I tell you that,” he said, grabbing a handful of your ass, “I actually maybe sort of have feelings for you.”
Ah fuck.
Well, obviously.
But, ah fuck.
Why were you supposed to hate him again?
Because he was a giant asshole. He was rude to the help. Rude to everyone. Even you. Yet you still liked his stupid smug smile. That annoying laugh. You liked how he’d been surprisingly good company for this whole trip. Liked how he was holding you right now. You were pretty sure he could get an ugly haircut and you’d still like him. How he looked at you even when he was irritated with you.
Waiting for you to say something back.
“I... I have feelings for you, too.” You bit your lip after like you were nervous about what he might say back.
“Yeah?” He said with another dopey smile covering his face.
You nodded right before he bridged the gap first. Pressing your lips to his. His mouth moving ever so softly against yours. Like he was afraid you’d run away if he moved to quickly.
You deepened it and he finally pushed you down on your back. Ransom grabbed the back of your leg so you’d wrap it around his waist. Fuck he was already growing against you. “I still can’t believe you got dressed,” he pulled away to whisper in your ear. “You should have known I was just going to take everything off.”
You rolled your eyes. “Ever think that’s part of the fun.”
He chuckled before kissing you again. “Oh yeah?” He pulled away so he could start pulling down your sleep shorts. “You wanted me to take your clothes off?” You nodded, looking into his eyes. He hissed. “Didn’t even put-on panties, dirty girl.”
You laughed. “Do you like it?”
“Oh, I really, really like it.” He reached down to rub his hand up and down your slit. “What a pretty little pussy.”
You gasped. “Fuck.” His hands felt so good on you. He’d barely even touched you and it felt so, so good. Finally, his finger grazed your clit. He traced along it in a circle. “Stop teasing me!” You whined.
“Be patient, Buttercup.” He smirked.
“I’m going to kill you.”
“Shit,” he stopped, “I don’t have a condom.”
You shrugged. “I’m on birth control.”
He smirked. “Yeah, you want me to fuck you raw, Baby. Want me to cum in you?” He leaned back down to kiss your neck this time. His thumb was pressing into your clit now. Going on sweet, sweet circles. He stopped for a minute to pull off your top.
When you were fully naked and he finally put his mouth on your nipples, you needed him to just fuck you. “Please, Daddy,” you whimpered.
He went back to kissing your neck. “Yeah? You want me to be your daddy? Want me to take care of you.”
“God, yes.”
He lined himself up at your entrance. Looking into your eyes as he started to push into you. You closed your eyes tightly. “No, no open your eyes. I want you to look at me while I fuck you,” he commanded.
You nodded doing as you were told as he made you stretch over the thick head of his cock. You were so fucking wet just from him touching you like that. Your skin felt like it was on fire. You cried out as he inched into you. Fuck he was bigger than you’d expected. He was making you feel so full.
“Ransom,” you whimpered, he started out with shallow thrusts not going all the way in.
“Fuck, you’re fucking tight,” he groaned. “Can you even take it?”
You nodded. “I can take it, Daddy.”
He steadied his hips before finally shoving himself all the way inside of you. You gasped as he started fucking into you going so deep. Little droplets of tears formed in the corners of your eyes.
He was fucking you so good, your brain went blank. All you wanted was him. Wanted him to never stop fucking you. “Oh my god,” you whined.
“Yeah. Feels good?”
You nodded as you tried to take it. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Daddy making you feel good?” He panted. “Daddy’s gonna always make your pussy feel good, Baby. I’m gonna take care of you. Buy you whatever you want. Give you every fucking thing your boyfriend wouldn’t.”
Your pussy was gripping his dick like a vice. How were you so close already. “Please?”
“Is that what you want?” He asked in that condescending voice, you’d always hated, but fuck he was going to make you cum because of it. “Want me to buy you nice things. Be your boyfriend. Give you a fucking family.”
If he wasn’t balls deep inside of you, you would have probably reacted differently to him confessing that he wanted something with you. More than just this, but fuck hearing it like this only made you that more far gone. “Yes!” You moaned a little too loudly.
He clamped his hand over your mouth to shush you. “Shhh, Baby. You don’t want everyone to hear you getting dicked down do you? Want everyone to hear me fucking you?”
You shook your head, but stopped as you tilted your head back because you couldn’t stop it. Your eyes got all glazed over as your orgasm hit. 
“That’s it, cum for me.” He breathed. “Fuck. I’m gonna cum in your pussy.”
“Yes,” you whimpered. You could feel him so deep in your stomach. You can’t remember the last time you got fucked like this. No one else had ever been able to do this to you. 
As he finally couldn’t hold out anymore, cumming deep inside of you he still moved his hips. Making sure you got all of him.
He laid on top of you for a minute, not pulling you as you both came down from your orgasms. It felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest. How the hell were you going to explain this to everyone. 
He rolled beside you before pulling you into his arms. You rested your head on his shoulder. Still trying to catch your breath. “Fuck.” He laughed. 
You chuckled. “I know.”
“Why did we wait so long to do that again?” He asked.
“Because I hated you.” You didn’t mean to let out a bigger laugh because your lower half was way too sore for that. 
He rolled his eyes. “Bullshit. No, you didn’t.”
“I wanted to.”
“Brat.” He chuckled. “I just... I meant everything I said.”
“What?”
“That I wanna be with you...” he replied. “That I wanna make an honest woman outta you.” You rolled your eyes, trying to maintain that damn facade. He was making it hard because this smile spread across your face. “I’ll even let you live with me when you pack your shit out of that old man’s house.”
“Moving so quickly? Ransom, I’m shocked at you.”
“Look, I’ve put up with your shit for a year a half already,” he explained, “I already know that I want you.”
“You fucking sap!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don’t you suck my dick about it?” He rolled his eyes.
You shrugged. “Okay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
----------
You didn’t fall asleep until the sun was already coming up. Every time you tried before that; Ransom would start kissing your neck. You were exhausted, but satisfied in a way you hadn’t been in a long time.
You woke up to rustling on the bed. You tried to feel for him because although you were still cozy you wanted his warmth, but he wasn’t there. “Ransom?” You yawned, peeking your eyes open to him fixing the comforter. 
Oh.
“Hey, Baby,” he said with a smile on his face. He leaned over to kiss your forehead. “I gotta go, okay. I have some errands I have to run.”
You nodded, before wrapping your arms around him. He held you to him tightly kissing your forehead more. “Do you have to?”
“Mhmm,” he replied. “I told Simon I’d help him with this surprise for Ava
“Okay. I love you,” you replied sleepily before dozing off again. He smiled down at you before laying you back down, kissing your forehead before leaving. 
You woke up again to Ava jumping up and down on your bed. “Get up!” She cheered. 
“What are you twelve?” You grumbled. Then your eyes cracked open when you fucking realized you’d told Ransom that you loved him. “Oh no.”
“What? Wait, are you naked?” She raised both of her eyebrows as she got settled beside you in bed. “Did you and Ransom...”
You shook your head, suddenly feeling like you might puke. You fucking told Ransom Drysdale that you loved him. “What? No. I just got really hot last night.”
“Where’s your pillow wall?” She asked with a smirk.
“We were too drunk last night to remember?” 
“Bitch, you slept with Ransom Drysdale!” She gasped. “What about David?”
“Um... David and I are... I was already going to end things with him.
This annoyingly shit eating grin spread across her face. “You dirty slut. Okay, well, I don’t think Simon would mind if you stayed with us until you got back on your feet.”
“Actually, I already found a place. I just... I didn’t want to ruin your fun, ya know.”
She sighed. “Y/N, I’m your best friend. Your problems are my problems. I wouldn’t have cared if you told me. Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” You smiled. 
“So...” another smile spread across her face, “how was it?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking.” You laid back down, turning on your side and ignored her as she continued to ask questions.
You got your nails done with Ava, Trish, and Simon’s sister. Still thinking about what you’d said to Ransom. Nerves had started to settle in that you’d done something wrong. Raking your brain trying to remember if he’d even said anything back. You couldn’t remember.
It was Christmas Eve now and there was supposed to be this super fancy party today that the family apparently threw every year. Of course, you were going to wear the dress Ransom had bought you. There was no question. It fit in more. Besides okay maybe you wanted to look pretty for him whatever.
Neither him or Simon had come back by the time everyone started getting ready. You did your makeup in Ava’s room before going back to yours to get dressed. The was a knock on the door as you’d just finished.
“Hey,” Ransom leaned down to kiss your cheek lightly to not mess up your makeup. Setting down a little gift bag on the bed. “You look... you look beautiful.”
You were going to have to get used to him being nice to you. “Thank you.” 
“Sorry, it took so long. You know Simon. Has to go above and beyond.” He chuckled. 
You waited for him to get ready, checking your phone. David had been texting you throughout the trip. Not that you ever responded. You thought when you’d get to the end of this trip, you’d be dreading the drive home. Instead, you were hopeful of what was to come. 
"So, I kind of got you something,” he said before the two of you could leave the room.
You frowned. “I didn’t get you anything back.”
“That’s okay. I don’t think either of us were expecting this,” he replied. “I just wanted you to know I was serious about everything.”
“Okay.”
He clenched his jaw as he grabbed the bag he’d placed, taking out a jewelry box which he handed you. You looked up at him with those big eyes. “I saw you looking at it at that store so...”
“You’re such a sap,” you sniffled.
He smiled. “I just... when you told me I love you this morning, I didn’t say it back. I wanted to say it when I gave you this so... I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Yeah?”
You nodded and he pulled you to him, hugging you tightly. You really didn’t want to mess up your makeup so you forced yourself not to tear up. Except lipstick be damned because you were not, not going to kiss him.
It was taking you everything to not hold his hand as the two of you walked into where the party was starting to pick up a little. He looked so cute in his red sweater. Simon and Ava were being doted on by his grandparents. 
“So, Ava kind of figured it out,” you said as he handed you a glass of champagne. 
“How?” He asked.
“You didn’t lock the door and I was still naked under the covered.”
He snickered. “Should have given her an eye full.”
You shook your head. “I’ll give you an eye full.”
“You already did, Buttercup.” He shrugged.
“Why do you call me that?” You rolled your eyes.
His face started to get all red. You’d never thought in all your days you’d see Ransom blush. Between the two confessing your feelings for one another, of you having sex, you accidently telling him you love him, and him telling you that he wanted to be with you, making him blush made you feel like you’d won whatever game the two of you had been playing.
He sighed. “Well, okay, so when me and my cousin Meg were younger, she was obsessed with the Powerpuff Girls. I didn’t want to admit that I kind of liked it. Your bad attitude reminds me of Buttercup. She was my favorite.” He rolled his eyes looking away from you like he was embarrassed.
“You’re shitting me.” This smile spread across your face.
“Shut up.” He wrinkled up his nose.
“Never would have guessed that under all that wool and assholeness was a sweetheart waiting to burst out of the seams,” you teased him.
“You’re so lucky I think you’re pretty or else I think I might drop kick you.” He sighed.
----------
Christmas Day passed by nicely and easily. Mostly with everyone relaxing. You spent most of it tucked into Ransom’s side drinking hot chocolate watching Christmas movies with everyone because at this point the two of you are just a cliche. Which was fine because you liked it. 
He’d whisper I love you in your ear. Or pull you under the mistletoe because he’s corny. Ava and Simon teased you while Trish swore that she called it, which she kind of did.
When it was time go home you were a little sad. You liked being in this little bubble with him. Now you’d have to go home and deal with having to officially break up with David and having to talk Ransom out of taunting him. Of course, Ava and Simon offered up their place until you got on your feet, but him being him pretty much demanded that you live with him.
Normally you would kick yourself for moving so quickly and you don’t know why, but you saw something in him. Of course, you weren’t going to be able to move all of your stuff out today, but there were two very important things that you needed. David wasn’t even there when you got home. He was probably still at his parents.
“Hope you like cats because I’m not leaving them,” you’d told him as you packed them into their carriers. 
He groaned, throwing his head back. “Fine, but you’re giving me a blowjob as soon as we get home.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” you said before placing a wet kiss on his cheek just to annoy him.  
“Hey, you wanna have sex in his bed before we go?” He asked with a smirk.
“You’re an awful person, you know that?” You put your hands on his chest. “Of course I do.”
“God, I love you.” He grinned before pressing his lips to yours. 
801 notes · View notes
calpalirwin · 3 years
Text
Mosaic Broken Hearts
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Summary: More secrets spill out the more your relationship with Bucky grows
Word Count: 4.4k
And away, and away we go!
__
Bright flashes of light, explosions, blood spattered everywhere, pain, indescribable pain. You screamed for it to stop.
“Hey,” a voice was calling out, a hand nudging at you. “Hey! Y/N! C’mon!”
You screamed louder as your eyes snapped open, scrambling to get out of bed, and promptly face planting on the floor in the process. “You have exactly five seconds to explain who the hell you are, and what the fuck you’re doing in my room before I kill you. One!” You made your voice as threatening impossible, as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position. Where the fuck was a prosthetic when you needed it? Could you kill this guy from the floor? Well… It’d be messy, but you sure as hell would try.
With your mind racing, it took a minute to register that your intruder was laughing. Why the fuck were they laughing?
“Two!”
“It’s me! It’s Bucky. You had a nightmare.”
Different flashes went through your head. Screaming in the lab for a knife. Bucky offering to carry you to your room. You asking him to stay. “Oh…”
“C’mon,” he said softly as he appeared in front of you. One of his arms went around your back, the other hooking under your left knee as he picked you up and set you back in bed. “Do you wanna talk about it, or just leave it?”
“I- Gimme a minute,” you told him, taking a series of long, slow deep breaths as the adrenaline pounding through your veins slowed. “Fuck… You’re just seeing every ounce of vulnerability I have, aren’t you?”
“Could have just as easily been me having the nightmare.”
“Only you wouldn’t have face-planted out of bed in the process. Or at least you would have been able to get up by yourself if you had,” you replied bitterly.
“Can you not play that tough guy role who has it all together all the time?”
“I dunno, let’s ask my pride.”
“I’m not going to judge you, if that’s what you’re worried about. Or think less of you, or whatever else your head is telling you I’m gonna do. You can’t scare me off, Y/N. The only thing you’re fighting here is your own pride.”
“Yes, I’m well aw-” you started, then sighed. “Thank you. I’m, uh… not used to this. So I’m probably gonna be bad at it for a while. But thank you. For staying and stuff. Now… if you wanna go ahead and be the vulnerable one for a bit, that would be fantastic.”
Bucky chuckled, his arm snaking across your shoulders to hold you loosely at his side. “I’m sure it’ll happen eventually. I’m pretty broken myself. And rumor has it you have a soft spot for broken things.”
“Aw, he pays attention, how sweet,” you teased, squishing his cheeks in your hand.
He chuckled again, and you admired the throaty sound of it. “So, the nightmare?”
You let out a sigh. “It’s always the same one. Two car accidents. Two explosions. Lots of blood. Lots of screaming. Which is ridiculous to me because one of the car accidents I wasn’t even there for. It was my parents, and I was just told about it. But I still dream about it like I was there.”
Bucky stiffened, and you assumed it was in sympathy to having nightmares about memories that weren’t your own. “And then the other accident is yours and Tony’s?”
You nodded. “Yep. My family should just stay away from cars. We don’t exactly have the best track record with them.”
“How old were you when it happened?”
“When what happened? My parents, or my leg getting blown off?”
“Both? If you feel comfortable. It’s fine if you want me to shut up.”
“No, it’s fine. I was… Let’s see… I was 11 when my parents died. And I was 28 when I lost my leg.”
“You said after your parents died you went straight into the Army. How could you do that if you were 11?”
“Okay, so I left out some steps. My parents died. I finished school. Went to Westpoint, became an officer, then got shipped overseas. All the while Tony did whatever the hell it is Tony does.”
“And you were 28 when you had your accident, which means…”
“That I’m 36, yeah. Still younger than you, even though all that time spent frozen and whatever magic in that serum slows the aging process makes you look about 32.”
“I was going to say it means we were the same age when we had our incidents. But thanks for reminding me that I’m technically 99.”
You snorted. “God, my boyfriend’s old.”
“Boyfriend?”
“Shit… Jumped to conclusions… Fuck, sorry.”
“No, don’t be. I, uh, it’s fine. It’s more than fine.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes. I happen to like you quite a bit, Y/N. In case I haven’t made that obvious.”
“Good. Cuz I happen to like you quite a bit as well.”
~~~
Waking up in the morning with Bucky’s arm thrown around you was nice in a way you didn’t expect. While your friendship with him up until this point had already made you feel better than you had in longer than you could remember, the dating part was already adding to that feeling, even though it’d only been a handful of hours since you made the change from friends to boyfriends, most of which had been spent sleeping through the night. Bucky made you feel seen in a way you weren’t used to, and while it scared you, it also thrilled you. And it was more than just being able to see you. He understood you. He understood your pain. And it didn’t scare him. It was a relief to not feel so fucking alone, or have to put up a front.
Your problem now was not wanting to wake him up. He looked so peaceful, the long locks of brown hair acting as a curtain in front of his face. You knew if those fluttering eyelids flashed open, you’d find the most stunning pair of blue eyes, which was quite the statement considering you’ve known Steve for five years. Was it an unspoken requirement that you had to be god-level hot to be a super soldier? Or did the serum do that? Either way, it was grossly unfair.
You were awake, and your stomach was growling, and now you were in a predicament. One, despite your hunger, you didn’t want to leave your bed. There was a hot man in it with his arm flung around you. Two, getting out of bed when your prosthetic limb was still in the lab wasn’t going to be an easy task, unless you woke up said hot man sleeping in your bed. Which you didn’t want to do, because A.) he looked so peaceful and B.) you knew how hard peaceful sleep was to come by, so you didn’t want to be the one to ruin it for him. But god damn, you needed food. And to get to the lab to build a new leg.
It was fine. You could do this. You could get across the room to your closet where you had a pair of crutches without waking Bucky in the process. You were the king of stealth.
Through some small miracle, you managed to make it out of your room without waking Bucky, leaving behind a small note as to where he could find you.
As you made your way to the giant kitchen area, you remembered why you usually either hid in the lab until you made a new leg, or used an office chair to scoot about the place. These crutches were a pain in the ass, beads of sweat forming on your face by the time you got to the kitchen, where you came face to face with what could possibly be your worst fucking nightmare: the full team of half awake Avengers staring at you in shock.
“Morning,” you greeted, making it the rest of the way to a countertop, and leaning on it.
Mumbles of “hey”s and “morning”s chorused back at you, with the exception of Tony who went “Kid, get a chair. With wheels.”
Peter looked up from his bowl of cereal. “Got it, Mr. Stark,” he replied before dashing off.
“Tony, that’s not really necessary,” you started. “I’m just gonna grab something and head to the lab.”
“Don’t play the stubborn hero act. It’s annoying,” was all he replied with as Peter reappeared with an office chair. “Thanks, kid. Sit, Y/N. Toast?”
“Thanks, Peter,” you smiled gratefully, easing into the chair, leaving the crutches leaning against the counter. “And yeah, toast or whatever’s fine, Tony. Thank you.”
“So cordial, are you sure you’re a Stark?” Steve teased.
“Ha-ha,” you deadpanned, scooting your way over to the table.
“Your leg okay?” he followed up with genuine concern.
“Which one?” you asked sardonically.
“Yep, definitely a Stark.”
“So hanging around the Manchurian Candidate helping you embrace amputee life finally?” Tony asked, setting a plate of toast before you.
“Actually it was an explosion that made me embrace amputee life. You were there, remember?”
“My brother, the comedian,” he said with an eye roll. “You know what I meant.”
You shrugged your shoulders. “I mean I guess. It’s still not something I’m gonna go around mentioning for the hell of it. Kinda like how you don’t go around mentioning certain things.”
“Mentioning your business isn’t my business, Y/N, it’s yours.”
“I appreciate the discretion.”
“I’m sorry,” a man spoke up. “Is anyone else lost, or just me?”
“Scott, this is,” Tony started, but thought better of it. “Fuck it, it’s your business, you tell it.”
“Y/N Stark. Tony’s younger brother. Ex-military. Not an Avenger, I just live here,” you rattled off the basics. “Oh, and my right leg below the knee is fake thanks to yours truly,” you pointed at Tony. “Well, right now it’s non existent because I had to stab the prosthetic I did have. Different story, different time.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Tony interjected as people stared at him with their mouths open in shock. “I did not blow off your leg. Stark weapons did.”
“Same difference. And it wasn’t meant maliciously. Just a fact. Anyway, I’m pretty easy to find if you need me because I’m usually in the lab. Speaking of, do you need me today, Tony?”
“No, we’re fine.”
“Cool. Cuz I gotta make a new leg.”
“Aw,” Bucky’s voice pouted from behind you, “and I was starting to like carrying you around.” He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek. “You could’ve woken me up,” he murmured.
“Um… what is this?” Tony asked, waving a finger between you and Bucky.
“None of your concern,” you replied bluntly.
“Bullshit it’s not. Hanging out with him is one thing, Y/N. But whatever that is, shut it down, and shut it down now.”
“I’m going to say this as respectfully as possible 1.) because we’re family and 2.) because I don’t want my morning to become more of a spectacle than it already has been. But you don’t get a say in how I live my life. You had your chance to be involved after Mom and Dad died, and you ran away from that chance. And I try really hard not to hold a grudge against you for that. And I appreciate everything you’ve done for me since our accident. But I’m a grown ass man, Tony. Who I chose to involve myself with is none of your concern.”
“Oh, so you’re fine with your new boyfriend being a mass murderer?”
You laughed. You laughed so hard you doubled over in your chair, your sides aching and tears forming in your eyes. “That’s the best fuckin’ joke I’ve ever heard!” you kept howling with laughter. “Mass murderer boyfriend, do you hear this shit? Cuz the rest of us in this room are so innocent, right? Cuz our hands aren’t covered in the blood of someone else? Oh, God! Yeah, you’re gonna have to try a lot harder than that, Tony.” You snorted. “Mass murderer. Yep. That’s a good one.”
Your brother’s eyes flashed darkly. “So, you’re aware that part of his mass murder history includes our parents? Or did Sergeant Barnes conveniently leave that out?”
You stopped laughing as you glanced upwards at Bucky. His hands were gripped tightly on the back of your chair, the knuckles on his right hand white from the force of the grip. His body was rigid, eyes screwed shut. “What?” you croaked out in a barely audible whisper.
“Yeah. The reason you got robbed of a childhood with Mom?” Tony clicked his tongue, pointing at Bucky. “Right there.”
You continued to look up at Bucky who stayed in his frozen state. “Tell me he’s lying,” you pleaded quietly. When Bucky still didn’t move, you shoved a hand into his chest. “Tell me he’s lying, Bucky!”
Slowly Bucky opened his eyes, his face, his gorgeous face, a painting of pain and sorrow. “I’m sorry…”
You hated this. You hated Tony for blowing up your life a second time. You hated Bucky for not telling you this himself. And you hated yourself for daring to believe that for once you could be happy. But you’d be damned if you’d let them see you break. You took a slow breath, sealing yourself off, the walls building around you. “I have work to do,” you said, starting to push away in your chair, but Bucky’s grip still held you in place.
“Y/N,” he said in a cracked voice. “Y/N, please.”
“You have exactly five seconds to let go of my chair, Sergeant Barnes, before I break your hands. One,”
“Y/N.”
“Two.”
“Please, let me explain.”
“Three. I swear I’ll break those hands. Metal or not.”
“Love, please don’t do this…”
“Four,” you continued to count, feeling your voice start to shake at the way he called you “love.”
He let go, and you pushed yourself quickly out of the room, not daring to look back.
~~~
In the lab, you tried to distract your brain, but it still raced. There were so many swirling parts, and you were so angry that you couldn’t pinpoint what was actually making you angry.
Footsteps and a throat clearing had you snapping up your head, body tense, not ready to face either Bucky or Tony. So when you saw it was Steve, your defenses fell. “Hey, Steve,” you greeted half-heartedly.
“Hey. How you feeling?” he asked, testing the waters as he slowly made his way to you.
“I’m not gonna bite your head off if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Don’t think I could blame you if you did. What happened back there was… intense. Tony was out of line.”
“When isn’t Tony out of line?”
“Fair point. But hey, I’m here if you want someone to scream at. Someone to help answer any of the thousand of questions running through your head.”
“I don’t want to scream at anyone. Kill Tony, maybe. But I’m kinda used to that feeling. I just… Fuck, I dunno, Steve. I don’t know what to be mad at, or about. I just know that I’m mad. Hurt. I’m hurt.”
“So start at the beginning. Work through it.”
“It’s true, right? What Tony said about Bucky?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”
“How long did everyone know?”
“It came out when we brought Bucky in. So a few months now. Obviously Bucky knew longer.”
“Obviously,” you snorted, then sighed. “Well, that explains Tony’s feelings towards Bucky.”
“But it’s still not an excuse for how it came out. There was a way to handle that situation and that wasn’t it. So if you want to be angry with Tony for that, you’re well within your right.”
“Oh, I’m livid. Like don’t trust myself alone in a room with him, livid. And I hate the position it puts me in. Being mad at him for telling me the truth. Sounding like an ungrateful, spoiled brat.”
“You can appreciate what Tony’s done for you while hating the circumstances that led to it. It doesn’t have to be black and white.”
“I deal in absolutes, Steve. It’s what makes the most sense to me. Facts. Fact: my parents died. Fact: Bucky caused their accident. Fact: their death shaped the way I lived my life, and the way Tony lived his. Fact: Tony’s actions ruined my life, not once, but twice now.”
“And where does that leave you with Bucky?”
You sighed. “That’s where things get convoluted. Fact: he was brainwashed as the Winter Soldier. So I can’t hold that against him. And I don’t. Me knowing Bucky caused their accident doesn’t make them less dead. So as stupid as it seems, I’m not mad about that. I’m mad he didn’t tell me himself. But even then? Part of me can still understand why he didn’t. I mean, there were things about my past I kept from him. And at what point do you drop a bomb like that?”
“So where does all of that leave you?”
“I don’t know. That’s the problem. Part of me wants to clock Tony for running his mouth. Part of me is screaming that this is exactly why I don’t let people in. And part of me is still stupidly head over heels in love with Bucky, even though I feel like my trust in him got betrayed.”
“In love with him? Does Bucky know?”
You shook your head. “We barely started dating. And I mean barely. Like it happened last night barely.”
“And now it’s already potentially over.”
“Yup…”
“Well. And you can do whatever you want with this advice. But, it sounds like the real issue is with Tony, not Bucky. So try not to confuse the two.”
“But how do I trust him, Steve? I laid everything out on the line, and he couldn’t do the same for me.”
“Sounds like you trust him just fine if you’re able to do all that. So is your real hurt, with Bucky at least, in the fact that you feel he doesn’t trust you back? I mean, and correct me if I’m wrong, but this is just my observations. You don’t let that vulnerable side of you show often, if ever. I mean, everyone back there expected you to rip Tony’s head from his shoulders and you barely raised your voice. You have a very tight control on your feelings. You have a very tight control on what you let others around you in on. So if you allowed yourself to be vulnerable to Bucky, I can understand how that powershift makes you feel out of control. I can see how any indication of him not trusting you back is a huge act of betrayal in your mind. It’s like you loaded the gun, and handed it to him yourself.”
“Have I ever told you how much you scare me with how observant you are?”
Steve chuckled. “I knew Bucky a long time before he was the Winter Soldier. He’s not gonna be the guy to let you down. But me telling you that, and you believing it are two totally different things.”
“So what do I do, Steve?”
“You gotta figure that out for yourself. But talking might be a good place to start.”
“Thanks. Seriously. This helped me a lot.”
“Anytime, Y/N.”
~~~
Your next visitor was Tony. “So…” he started, peering over your shoulder at the leg you were halfway finished with. “Break up with him yet?”
“So… find a new way to blow up my life yet?” you fired back.
His jaw clenched. “Blew up your life by telling you the truth?”
“Blew up my life by fucking ruining everything, actually. I was happy, Tony. Actually fucking happy. And you let me have that for all of what? 30 seconds?”
“So you’d rather your happiness be fake? Be a lie then?”
“It wasn’t fake, that’s the thing! Look, I get that you hate him. I get that you and Steve were at odds with each other because of Bucky. And I get that hearing the news that he’s the reason for our parents’ death doesn’t make you exactly keen on being his friend, or having him around here. But, God, Tony! There were a million different ways you, or Bucky could have clued me in on things. And of course, you went with the one that would hurt him the most, not even hesitating long enough to think about how it would hurt me in the process. I knew you were a spiteful bastard, but this is a new low, even for you. Whatever happened to ‘it’s not my business to tell’?”
“That’s why I’m here to apologize.”
“That was an apology?”
“It would be if you let me get there.”
“Well, go on then.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I let my issues with Dad get in the way of me being there for you after they died. Not that at the age I was in any way ready or capable of taking on the responsibility of looking after a kid. And I’m sorry that it led you down a path of eventually getting caught in the crossfire of my mistakes with the company. And I’m sorry for how I handled the news of you and Barnes and the subsequent fallout.”
“Wow,” was all you could come up with to say. Tony wasn’t exactly the apologetic or remorseful type. He was the “throw money at the situation in hopes it went away” type, a classic Howard Stark trait Tony had been unfortunate enough to inherit, alongside the arrogance. And yet, here he was, apologizing to you for everything. And all you could say was, “Wow.”
“Yeah, great talk. If you connect those two wires, you should be good,” he said, nodding his chin at your leg.
You looked at it, “Oh. Thanks.”
“Yep.”
“I mean it,” you said as he started to walk out. “The apology? Thanks.”
“Yeah, if we could not mention it, that’d be great.”
You let out a small laugh. “Works for me.”
~~~
Your final visitor was Bucky. “Been wondering when you’d show,” you said, as you walked around the lab, testing the newest prosthetic.
“Yeah, I, uh… would’ve been by sooner but I got caught up in a few things.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, I might have gone off on Tony after you left. And then Steve might have banned me from seeing you until I calmed down. And by the time I did that, he had already talked to you, and Tony was in here. So I talked to Steve. And… yeah.”
“You mean I missed out on another fight between you and Tony? Damn.”
“Heh, yeah… And look, I’m not here to act like an apology is going to magically make this all okay-”
“Good,” you cut him off. 
He sighed. “But I am sorry.”
“I don’t want your apology. I don’t need it.”
“Then… Could you yell at me, or something? This eerily calm thing is really freaking me out. Yell at me, Y/N. Tell me you hate me. Tell me I’m the reason you’re broken. Something. Anything.”
You paused in your small laps around the lab, looking at him in confusion. “Why would I do that? I’m not the starry-eyed prince who cries when his knight in shining armor isn’t real.”
“I- What?”
You winced at your words. “Bad analogy. I meant that I’m not the type who’s going to cry and scream every time my feelings get hurt. So if you’re waiting for that to happen, it’s not going to.”
“Y/N, please… I don’t know what to do here. I want to make this right. Tell me how.”
“There’s nothing to make right. I’m not mad at you, Bucky.”
“You’re not?”
“No! You were fucking mind-controlled for half of a god damn century. And Howard wasn’t exactly winning Dad of the Year Awards. Fuck, I can’t even find it in myself to be mad that you didn’t tell me. I’m hurt, Bucky, but I’m not mad.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you, that’s the thing. And I know. I know I had so many chances to tell you, and I didn’t. But how do you tell someone that without hurting them?”
“God damn it!” you snapped, your temper flashing before you could reel it back in. “That’s not why I’m hurt, Bucky. I’m hurt that I trust you, and you feel that you can’t trust me back. I’ve trusted you with parts of me I don't let anyone even get near. Hell, I’ve known the original crew of Avengers for five years, and today’s the first time they figured out I’m an amputee. That’s how hard it is for me to let my walls down. And I let you break them like they were nothing. And as great as it is to feel chosen for once, I cannot fuckin’ stand that it’s one-sided. Trust me back, Bucky. Let me choose you back!”
He took a step towards you. “Love, I-”
There it was again. “Love.” God, did he know what he was doing to you when he called you that? “Can’t do it? Think you’re too broken, and you’re gonna scare me off?” you asked.
“No, that’s not what I was going to say.”
“Then what were you going to say?”
“I...don’t know actually.” He took a few more steps until he was mere inches from you.
“Well, you know where to find me when you figure it out.”
You turned to leave, but his hand wrapped around your wrist, twisting you back around the strength and suddenness of the movement causing a splintering sound in your newest prosthetic while you collided into his chest, both of your eyes wide. “Shit!” Bucky swore. “Okay, that was not supposed to happen.”
“Bucky…” you growled, both in agitation that your new leg was already broken, and in slight desperation of if he didn’t hold you steady soon, you were going to face-plant into the floor.
Thankfully, he understood the hint, and more. His arms snaked around you, holding you upright while his head tilted down, his lips crushing into yours. “Please choose me back?” he whispered desperately against your mouth.
“Not choosing you back was never an option, Bucky,” you assured, your arms wrapping around his neck and deepening the kiss.
__
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gojo-x-reader · 4 years
Text
Not So Special Now
Relationship(s): F!Reader x Gojo Satoru
Warnings: canon-typical violence
Tags: fluff (at the end), reader-focused
AO3 Link: here
Words: ~4k
Request: “hello there, i love ur soulmate and marriage life hc 🥺 can you make scenario/hc/drabble whatever u prefer where his fem/gn so is also a sorcerer and gets hurt/injured on a mission? thank you!”
“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” Your boyfriend, Satoru, asked you. His hands were on your biceps, giving it a worried, yet comforting squeeze.
“Yes, Satoru,” you answered, a little annoyed at how he was treating you. It’s been several years since either of you were in high school; this wasn’t your first mission.
“I can’t help but worry, you know. It’s your first ever special grade assignment.”
“Just because I’m not the same rank as you, Mr. Special Grade, doesn’t mean I’m weak. Besides, there are two others going so I’m not doing this alone.”
“I know, I know.” Satoru pressed his lips gently onto your forehead, then gazed into your eyes lovingly. In a rare instance while on the job, his blindfold was replaced with dark sunglasses. You reached up to shift them down, allowing you to gaze into his bright blue eyes. They were breathtaking no matter how many times you saw them. You moved your hands from his glasses to his shoulders, forcing him down so you could reach up to leave a chaste kiss on his lips.
“I’ll see you tonight,” you promised.
The two of you embraced one more time before you joined your other group members for the mission. You turned back and waved at him as the three of you entered the car to be driven to the location for your mission.
“Sure wish Gojo-san was coming with us,” one of them mused. “He could handle this mission single-handedly and we could just stay home.” He sighed deeply, then put in headphones and stared out the window.
“Why isn’t he taking this mission?” your other group member asked. She stared at you, eager to know.
You had just met these two today (not even knowing their names, except that they were both Grade 1 sorcerers like you) and you weren’t sure how well this mission would go. “Well,” you began, “for one, he works best alone. Second, Satoru fights best when he’s away from civilians.” 
The girl hummed, then crossed her arms in thought. The three of you awkwardly rode in silence for about five minutes, before the girl grabbed your arm suddenly. “Soooo, how long have you been dating Gojo Satoru?” She asked eagerly. There was something about her that seemed familiar, but you just couldn’t put your finger on it.
You weren’t sure why this was any business of someone you just met, but you decided to indulge her to hopefully make this awkward car ride, well, less awkward.
“Two years, almost three,” you answered. The two of you had known each other since high school, but it wasn’t until almost four years ago that you had reconnected after you moved back to Tokyo, and almost three years ago when you started dating. To this day you still had no clue why he would get a crush on you over all people. There were much prettier girls he had spent more time with, why you?
“Annnnd? A ring soon?” She gushed, gripping your arm harder.
You shrugged. Satoru and you had discussed marriage at some point, but both of you were busy at the moment, especially with Ryomen Sukuna being somewhat revived into the world. While Yuuji was still technically “dead” to others, Satoru had trusted you enough to tell you about how his student had pretty much been revived from the dead. On your days off, you often visited your boyfriend and helped out with Yuuji’s training regime. He was a nice kid, despite his circumstances and being thrown into the jujutsu world suddenly.
The girl let go of your arm and got out her phone, furiously typing to someone. “Oh, my little sister won’t be happy to hear about this.”
“Little sister?”
“Yeah, my sister Momo goes to Kyoto. She’s pretty close with another girl, Kasumi, who I consider almost like another younger sister. She was super excited to meet Gojo-san a week ago. She’s like a superfan of him or something. I like to indulge her sometimes. I think she even made a fan club for Gojo-san or something. Anyways, Momo, even though she’s friends with Kasumi, she often gets annoyed with her talk about Gojo-san.”
You vaguely remember Satoru mentioning a girl from Kyoto that asked him for a picture. It wasn’t exactly a rare occurrence for your boyfriend to be asked to take pictures with, from the jujutsu world or from civilians; he had devastatingly good looks, so you couldn’t blame any of the people who asked for pictures. Besides, you knew his heart belonged to you and you only, so you were fine with others recognizing his allure.
“Oh, Kasumi’s calling me,” the girl said. She answered her phone, only for a younger voice to scream over the speaker. It was loud enough that you could hear it. Your teammate held her phone away from her ear.
“What do you mean he has a girlfriend?”
“Oh, come on Kasumi. You know how handsome he is. Besides, he’s like, what, twenty-eight? Twenty-nine?”
“Twenty-eight, twenty-nine in December,” you confirmed.
“Way too old for you, ma’am,” the girl relayed to Kasumi.
“I don’t like him like that , Sumi-san! I j-just really admire him, okay! W-Who wouldn’t? World’s strongest jujutsu sorcerer in all.”
“Mhm. Anyway, I’ve got a mission today with the said girlfriend of Gojo Satoru. Want me to get you an autograph?” Sumi joked.
“...Could you?”
You let out a tiny laugh. This girl was funny, so you decided to humor her and leaned toward the phone. “One autograph for Kasumi?”
“M-Miwa Kasumi!” the voice on the phone squeaked out. She told you what kanji made up her name as you rummaged for a scrap piece of paper and pen from your bag. You made out the autograph, laughing a bit as you handed it to Sumi.
After you told her you signed an autograph for her, Kasumi said goodbye, hanging up the phone before Sumi could reply goodbye back. She seemed embarrassed about the ordeal.
“You were right, she seems like a good kid.”
“Kasumi is nice. She really balances out how serious my little sister Momo is,” Sumi responded.
For the rest of the car ride, you and Sumi chatted. Apparently, this was also her first Special Grade mission, as well as her first mission after graduating from Kyoto. Their other group member was also from Kyoto; he was two years Sumi’s senior. His name was Takahashi Daisuke. She didn’t know much about him since he tended to keep to himself. But she did know this wasn’t his first Special Grade mission. That relieved you substantially since you were nervous about this mission (as much as you didn’t want to admit to Satoru).
Eventually, the roads transformed from paved to just dirt. The driver turned onto a road on a hill, then began briefing the three of you on your mission. This was a Special Grade, suspected to be awakened by a Sukuna finger. This was just based on speculation, since the last Special Grade to pop up was from a Sukuna finger as well. The Special Grade had taken over an abandoned shrine, supposedly terrorizing the local village just down the hill (which had been evacuated just hours before). As the driver parked the car, the three of you exited the car. The air was crisp, with a distinct chill in the air. You could sense a particularly strong cursed energy in the premises, on par with Satoru’s cursed energy. You shuddered; this was not going to be an easy task.
The driver placed a curtain around the area, the sky darkening. It only made the situation seem even more grave. There was something in your gut telling you to run, not from being scared of the Special Grade, but because something bad was going to happen.
Sumi grabbed a wand from her belt. Her family was a pretty small sorcerer family on her mother’s side, as she had told you in the car. She and her sister have cursed techniques similar to “witches”; hers involved spells while her sister’s involved levitating a broom, among other objects.
Your cursed techniques, however, involved nature. There was a reason why you were selected specifically for this mission; the shrine was in the middle of the forest, the perfect place for you to go wild. Cities like Tokyo were incredibly constraining for you to use your cursed techniques, so you almost exclusively were assigned missions out in the country where nature was plentiful.
Neither you nor Sumi knew what Daisuke’s cursed technique was, but you assumed it was pretty strong considering he had been on missions with Special Grades before.
The mission started off fine. The three of you approached the shrine. It wasn’t particularly impressive, nothing that you would expect to house a Special Grade curse. The stone torii at the entrance was standing tall, unbothered by neither age nor the moss and vines growing on it. The shrine itself, however, was crumbling. One of the pillars holding up the roof was destroyed, so the roof was lopsided. The shimenawa knots were cut in half, the ends completely frayed. Definitely not a good sign.
After crossing the torii , you felt the Special Grade’s presence. It was overwhelming, unlike anything else you had experienced before. It possessed near-equal amounts of cursed energy as Satoru, but unlike your boyfriend, it held malicious intent within its cursed energy. To your left, Sumi was shaking. You held out a shaky hand onto her shoulder and squeezed. While you yourself didn’t feel confident about this mission now, you had a duty as the oldest member of the group here to be strong, for their sake.
The shrine began to shake, then the roof was suddenly blown off. You used your cursed technique to form a barrier of tree roots that erupted from the ground. Slabs of wood hit the roots, then bounced off. After the rain of wood subsided, you controlled the roots back into the ground in their original position.
You finally got a good look at the Special Grade curse. It was humanoid, but only in form. Its flesh was midnight blue, with eyes covering every centimeter of its body. Great, it had no blind spots. The curse had no apparent mouth, yet you were able to hear it let out an intimidating roar.
Daisuke made the first strike. He quickly pointed a handgun at the Special Grade and pulled the trigger. Out came a burst of his own cursed energy instead of a bullet. The blow just grazed the Special Grade enough for it to let out a screech of pain. Interesting, so this was his cursed energy. You wondered if it was limited to guns, or if he could apply it to a bow as well and use his cursed energy for arrows. You’d have to ask him later after this mission was completed.
It was apparent after Daisuke revealed his cursed technique that all of you were primarily distance fighters. There wasn’t much Sumi could do if her cursed technique focused on spells through her wand apparatus and Daisuke seemed to only have a gun on him. So, that meant you had to switch to a melee approach.
You weren’t the biggest fan of hand to hand combat. You weren’t very strong, preferring to assist from a distance. Recently, Satoru has been helping you learn new ways of fighting in close quarters. You decided to take the risk and make an attempt at using this still relatively new technique. You reached out your hands, summoning leaves from the trees. They surrounded your fists like boxing gloves, your cursed energy reinforcing the leaves to be almost as hard as the bark from the trees they came from.
You sprinted toward the Special Grade, preparing to land a blow. As you reared back for a punch, the Special Grade disappeared from in front of you. Then you felt a blow land on your back and you were sent through the forest until a particularly thick tree stopped your projectile body. Luckily, you reacted quickly enough to reinforce your front with cursed energy. If it wasn’t for your quick thinking, you probably would’ve been knocked out immediately.
You picked yourself up from the ground, but the world was spinning. You leaned against a tree to collect your thoughts and rest a bit. The Special Grade was insanely fast and had no blind spots. You were panicking; this was well out of your skillset. Perhaps Daisuke was right; Satoru should’ve joined in on this mission. But you knew that wasn’t possible, as he also had his own Special Grade mission to handle today.
You brought a hand up to your face and gave yourself a hard smack. This was no time to doubt yourself or panic. You had two comrades out there fighting a Special Grade curse alone. There was no doubt that the Special Grade would notice you if you tried to rejoin the fight, at least on the ground. Your best bet would be to get the high ground; there would be fewer eyes on the top half, so the chances of you being noticed would be less than if you arrived by foot.
Okay, you had an idea. Now, to get an idea of how the fight was going. You kneeled down to the ground and placed your hand onto the ground, closing your eyes. You sent a minimal, hardly detectable pulse of cursed energy toward the fight through the ground. From what nature informed you, the fight was mostly one-sided in favor of the Special Grade. Daisuke was pretty beat up, and Sumi wasn’t in good shape either.
You got up then hurriedly began climbing the nearest tree. As you climbed up, you manipulated the bark to form grooves for you to place your hands and feet on. As you reached a decent height, you created a bridge with the overlapping tree branches sturdy enough for your weight. You sprinted across the bridge, ignoring your double vision. You definitely had a concussion, but now was not the time for you to worry about that. You didn’t wanna lose your comrades on this mission. Not again.
You wiped the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes. In your final year of Tokyo High, your two classmates were killed right before your eyes on a mission. You escaped out of pure luck, but was determined to get stronger to avenge their deaths. If you let those two die… well, then, that meant you hadn’t gotten strong enough to protect anyone else.
Once you were just out of sight range of the cursed spirit, you closed your eyes to sense the battle again. Sumi was sitting on the ground, back to a tree as she watched the fight between Daisuke and the Special Grade. She was barely conscious, and it seemed like she had lost a lot of blood. You had an idea, but in order for it to work, you needed her help.
Using thin vines, you sent a message within her sight: I am still alive. I’m going to trap the Special Grade curse with branches. Use a fire spell on it when it’s bound.
All you could hope was that she was able to read the message and had enough cursed energy to cast the spell. You began moving branches from distant trees close to the Special Grade, as fast as possible without your cursed energy being detected. Once they were close enough, you waited for the right moment.
As Daisuke finally landed a hit with his cursed energy, moving the curse to the center of the shrine remnants, you launched your attack. The branches extended as fast as you could make them move. The hit Daisuke landed had temporarily slowed the Special Grade, enough for your branches to immobilize it. As the branches gripped the curse, Sumi sent a fire spell toward it, just as planned.
The branches (and the cursed spirit) caught on fire. But something was wrong; normally, you could extract cursed energy from a curse with your cursed technique to exorcise, but that wasn’t happening. Was it resisting? You felt a tug on the branches.
Without thinking, you acted on your own. You re-equipped the leaves cursed technique, as you jumped from the trees above. As gravity brought you closer to the Special Grade, you reared back to prepare the punch you had wanted to introduce it to earlier. As your fist landed on the curse, you allowed the leaves to leave your fist, sending it into the curse’s body. The leaves caught on fire before they entered the curse, imploding it.
So, you managed to exorcise the Special grade. But, doing so took all of your cursed energy and you had no more left to cushion your fall. Luckily, you managed to adjust your fall so that you slid on your stomach parallel to the ground instead of falling headfirst. It still hurt, and you definitely broke a few ribs doing that.
You somehow had enough energy to turn yourself onto your back, looking up at the starry night sky as the curtain was released. Your first Special Grade mission. Everyone lived and you exorcised it without Satoru’s help. Ha. He would be so proud of you.
You began to fall into unconsciousness right as you felt familiar arms lift you up.
When you woke up, you were in Shoko’s infirmary. There was a thin blanket covering your bottom half. Suddenly the events came back to you.
You sat up, gasping for air. Where were Sumi and Daisuke?
“You might want to lay back down,” a familiar voice told you. “Shoko healed you, but the pain might still be there.”
You did as the voice said, laying back at the elevated position you woke up in. You look over and blinked a few times, seeing your boyfriend sitting in a chair next to your bed. He was in his work uniform, including his blindfold. You winced as you felt a pain in your chest; Satoru was right, there still was residual pain.
“I exorcised a Special Grade,” you croaked.
“I know. I’m proud of you.” He grabbed your hand and squeezed it, giving you a soft smile, showing off his tiny dimples. His smile quickly turned to a frown as he lectured, “However, what you did was risky and crazy.”
“Aren’t you the one who says that jujutsu sorcerers have to be crazy to survive?” you argued.
“Yes, but there’s a difference between crazy and throwing your life away.”
“You saw that?” you asked, much more awake than you were a few seconds ago.
“I hurried as fast as I could with my own mission to come assist you if you needed. I got there right as you pulled that stunt of yours.”
You pulled your hand from his and placed your face in both of your hands, embarrassed that he saw you launch yourself from several meters high, use up all of your cursed energy, then make a hard landing onto the ground.
“How’s the other two?” you asked, refusing to move your face from your hands.
“Alive and doing well. You’re the most beat-up out of everyone.”
You removed your hands, clasping them together in your lap. “Thank goodness…”
“There wasn’t a Sukuna finger either,” Satoru reported to you. “The villagers’ fear of the shrine must have caused it to grow to a Special Grade. Now, come on. Shoko said you could come home once you woke up.” Satoru stood up, then scooped you up from the bed. You screamed in protest, now wide awake.
“Wha--Put me down!”
“No can do, honey. Doctor’s orders. Nothing strenuous for the next week.”
“Satoru, I don’t think walking counts as strenuous!”
He smiled his signature shit-eating grin, then gave you a kiss on your forehead. No fair, he knew forehead kisses were your weakness. You melted into his arms at how tender his kiss was, now docile and less likely to argue with him.
In a flash, he teleported the two of you to his apartment, setting you on the bed in front of him. After placing you on the bed, he yanked off his blindfold and began rummaging through his dresser, looking for a set of his clothes for you to wear. He tossed the shirt and pants toward you, not even bothering to turn around while you changed. You’d been together for so long (or at least, it felt like a long time) that there wasn’t anything particularly embarrassing about changing in front of each other.
You winced while lifting your hands up to take off your shirt, so Satoru was by your side in an instant, helping you take off your shift without much pain. He even helped you out of your bra and put on his shirt.
“You don’t need me to help you with the pants, do you?” he teased.
“I think I can handle it on my own,” you replied, standing up and shuffling out of your pants. Satoru’s pants were much too long for you, so you had to roll not only the waistband but also the cuffs so that they didn’t constantly drag on the ground. Not like you minded doing that; there was just something about his clothes that was infinitely more comforting than your own, and he knew that more than anyone else.
As you adjusted the pants, Satoru left the bedroom to head toward the kitchen, no doubt to start cooking some of your favorite foods. You laid down on your shared bed, happy to be home. It was a long day (Days? How long were you even unconscious?) and you were glad to have such a caring boyfriend, even if he was being a little annoying about this.
About an hour later, Satoru came into the bedroom with a tray of food. He wouldn’t let you even touch the chopsticks, insisting on feeding you food because he didn’t want you to “strain yourself.” You thought he was just being a little too overprotective, but you allowed him to feed you anyway. The look of satisfaction on his face was just too cute for you to deny him this tiny pleasure.
After dinner, you immediately wanted to go to bed. Satoru quickly ate his portion of dinner then changed out of his work clothes into something much more comfortable to sleep in. He joined you under the covers, using his cursed energy to turn off the lights. You felt his arms gently snake their way around your waist, pressing you into his front. You sighed in contentment; he was warm, but not too warm.
After a few seconds of silence, you piped up, “Satoru?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you for taking care of me. I love you.”
He placed a gentle kiss on your neck, just behind your ear. “Anything for you, my love,” he breathed onto your neck. You could feel him smiling gently. “Maybe we should just get married.”
You grumbled something, not even quite sure what you said or even what he said completely. Before sleep overtook you, you mumbled out one last final “I love you,” incredibly happy to be in your boyfriend’s arms at the moment.
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lucy90712 · 3 years
Text
Dream- face reveal
wc- 1971 
Warnings: use of dreams real name
~ I have been friends with this guy on the internet Dream for about 5 years now, we talk all the time but we have never met in person and I have never seen his face. He doesn't show his face on the internet and I've never asked so it just never happened, he knows what I look like all too well because I like sending him stupid selfies and we FaceTime in the middle of the night all the time.
We have been trying to meet in person for years but things keep getting in the way and changing our plans first family issues, then a hurricane and then a whole pandemic. Despite all of this we have finally set a date to meet which is not going to change not for anything or anyone. It's going to be a big day or should I say month, as insane as it sounds I'm going to move in with Dream and Sapnap one of our other friends for a little while to really make this trip worth it even if it only lasts that long.
The process has been difficult because for me to get to Florida I need to get a plane which requires me to get tested before I fly and for my own piece of mind I have been strictly quarantining for the past two weeks but its finally here. I fly out tomorrow morning. I went and got tested yesterday and got my negative result today which I need to get on the plane.
I've been packing all day today because to be there for a month I need a bunch of my set up and cameras so that my content doesn't just stop but then I also need clothes and I can't seem to get both things to fit quite right.
At one point my phone started ringing but there was a mountain of stuff everywhere so I had to dig around to find it and when I did I saw that it was a FaceTime call from Dream, I picked up and immediately put my phone down to get on with my 5th attempt at packing.
"Yo hows it going?" Dream asked
"I'd say pretty average right now I'm super excited for tomorrow but my bag is giving me a hell of a fight" I replied
"Prop your phone up and I'll try and help" he said
I did as I was told and got my small tripod to rest my phone in where you could see what I was looking at. Honestly it was a mess and I was kind of embarrassed but Dream didn't need to know that and besides my face wasn't in frame so he couldn't see how embarrassed I was. I attempted putting everything in a slightly different way to last time which seemed to work until it came to fitting in my tripod and my wash bag of which there was no room for.
"Fuck sake I thought I had it then" I raged slightly
"Ok take out the webcam and forget about the tripod because I have ones that you can use and then try because I think that should give you enough room" he said
"Hell yeah thanks dream" I said after zipping up the suitcase
I flopped back on the floor tired from the minimal amounts of effort I had put in today which just shows how incredibly unfit I am. I recovered before getting up and moving my phone to my desk where I sat to talk to Dream.
We talked for a while until Sapnap came in and I talked to him for a little while, he's been living with Dream for a few months so he warned me about a few things like you don't wake Dream up which I took note of and he told me that Dream will just come and sit in your stream. Eventually they had to leave so I was left on my own to just kind of chill until it was an acceptable time to go to sleep.
Skip to the morning
I woke up at 5am when my alarm went off, I have a love hate relationship with my alarm because I only ever use it when I have something going on which is exciting but the sound makes me want to throw my phone out the window. Despite my annoyance I got up and went straight to the bathroom to shower and get dressed, I thought about wearing something nice but then I realised I had a 5 hour flight and I couldn't bare the thought of being sat down for that long not in comfy clothes. My comfy outfit consisted of leggings and one of my ex boyfriends hoodies because I never gave it back and I'm over it enough to just wear the hoodie whenever I want.
At just before 6 I got in my Uber to head to the airport seeing as my flight was at around 8 it would be wise to get there early. I wasn't sure how busy the airport would be seeing as you aren't meant to travel but I don't think I've ever seen an airport that wasn't busy.
I made it to the airport and as I assumed it wasn't heaving but there was still a fair amount of people around. I made my way through the crowds and checked in for my flight before heading through security and then making it to the main part of the airport. That part was less busy as there is more space for people to spread out into which made me much less anxious about people being too close. I had a little while to wait for my flight so I went and got some food because I haven't eaten today, and I don't want to end up with a headache.
When it was time for my flight to board I went to the gate and got straight into my seat watching as more people boarded but not as many as I expected, it was clear that all of the people on the flight had a good reason to be going to Florida and not just going on holiday and no one was sat together so all rules were being adhered to.
My flight landed 5 hours later and everyone filed off the plane going there own way leaving me kind of lost in a place that I wasn't used to and with the anxiety of going to meet Dream for the first time. I had a bit longer to wait because I had to get an Uber to the house even though dream offered to come and pick me up I told him not to because the less people at the airport the better and just incase people recognised me I didn't want him to accidentally face reveal.
I collected my suitcase and went straight out to the car park to get in my uber who was waiting just outside the doors in the designated area for taxis. As soon as I got in the car I text Dream letting him know I was on my way and sharing my location just in case things went south.
My uber stopped outside this one house and I got out walking up the drive taking in the house number to make sure I was at the right place which I was. Thats when the nerves really kicked in, I was about to meet one of my best friends in person for the first time. This is so insane to think that after all there years we get to do all the stupid things friends do.
I got to the door and rang the doorbell waiting the few excruciating seconds before I heard movement behind it indicating that there was someone there. It opened slowly and the first person I saw was sapnap who of course I was excited to see but we have talked properly on FaceTime before so I already know what he looks like.
Next another person popped up behind pushing sapnap out the way and giving me a hug straight away I knew it had to be dream but he ran over so quick that I didn't get to take in anything other than the fact he was hugging me. He pulled away and I got to look at his face, he looked pretty much exactly how I thought he would from the descriptions I have heard. As much as wavy length doesn't sound like a thing it somehow fit his hair and his eyes were also super green, he was definitely taller than I expected though this man towered over me like it was nothing and could definitely push me to the ground in a second but he looked kind just how you want a friend to be.
After a few minutes of freaking out that this was actually happening they let me inside and gave me a tour of the house showing me my room and the set up they had put together for me with a webcam and tripod just like dream said. They finished off the tour before I was made to sit and play whatever game they wanted with them.
We played an assortment of games for hours on end before we ordered food for dinner which we ate all chilling on the sofa. I almost forgot that my followers didn't know I was here but when I remembered I stole patches from dream and got him to take a picture of me with her to post on twitter and Instagram because people would get it without me having to explain. Not much of a grand reveal considering Sapnap did the same when he got here but I didn't really have any other ideas I mean its not like I can just do dream's face reveal for him with a picture on my twitter can I. The response to my tweet was insane within minutes people had got it trending and they were freaking out with all sorts of theories of if I'd officially moved in or if I was just visiting although both were kind of right.
Having spent a few hours here now I feel very at home they boys are really welcoming making sure I'm all good and not too tired after my flight which of course I am but sleep is for the weak so I'll wait. I have been told to call the two of them by their real names unless its on stream which feels kind of odd because I'm use to calling them what their know by despite knowing their real names the whole time. They have given me a nickname which I now go by to make it fair.
It was sad when the day came to an end when we all decided it was best to get some sleep even though I think their going to stay up and they said it for my own sake because I've been yawning non stop for the past 2 hours but either way I'm going to go to sleep and this day (one of the best days of my life) will become that of a memory.
Although I don't think this day could have gone any better its consisted of everything I've ever wanted to have in a friend but none of my friends back home if you can call them friends are into the same things as me so it never works out. Now I have two friends who share the same interests and have the same god awful sleep schedule so we can stay up messing around together if we want to which is what life as a 20 year old should be like. Fun.
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svtwritess · 4 years
Text
finally- hjs
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⇨ word count: 7.9k
⇨ genres: fluff, smut, some angst
⇨ pairing: joshua x female reader (though there’s no feminine pronouns or nicknames used!)
⇨ friends to lovers au
⇨ warnings: mentions of food, swearing, sexual content (oral, hickeys, light biting but not really idk), unprotected sex (please use protection kids please❤️)
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You waited in your car in front of the office building you worked at, anticipating the arrival of your best friend who you always walked into work with. You and Joshua used to have the exact same title. You worked on the same floor, ate lunch at the same time, and even sat at the same desk. For six months, you spent nearly every working moment together, often goofing around and chatting even when you should be working. Your boss never suspected the two of you, though, as you still got all of your work done properly and on time. 
However, a couple of weeks ago, you got promoted. You used to work on the second floor with Joshua, but your promotion forced you to move up to the sixth floor. You had your own office, which was good because you wouldn’t want to share a desk with anyone else in that building, but the worst part was that your lunch time got moved to an hour later than it was before. So, simply put, you rarely ever saw Joshua at work anymore and it upset the both of you greatly. You both accepted it, though, as Joshua and yourself knew that it was for the betterment of your career (and your salary). 
You felt your heart jump when you saw Joshua’s sleek black car pull into the parking lot. He had been saving his money and finally splurged on a new one when his 2008 clunker finally broke down on him. You were happy for him and needless to say, he looked super sexy driving it. 
You got out of your car, shut the door and locked it before heading over to where Joshua had parked just a few spots over from you. 
Your heels clicked as Joshua got out of his car as well. His platinum hair was parted down the center and it was fluffy, framing his face perfectly. He wore a white, long sleeve button up, black slacks accompanied by a belt, black loafers and a nice watch that looked to be way nicer than he could afford. You swallowed, loving yet hating how amazing he looked in work clothes. 
“Good morning!” he exclaimed happily, a small smile making its way onto his face upon seeing you. “Ready for another grueling day of doing something that contributes almost nothing to society for a less than satisfactory paycheck?” he asked, hugging you from the side. You laughed as you hugged him back and began walking toward the building. 
“Sadly yes, I’m numb to it at this point.”
“Yeah, me too.” he chuckled as the automatic doors to the building opened for the pair of you. 
You headed for the elevator and Joshua pressed the “up” button. You were already dreading saying goodbye for the day, as the ride to the second floor took less than 30 seconds. 
“Are you sure you can’t take an early lunch or something? I miss you.” he said casually as you stepped into the elevator. You tried not to smile too widely at his words, knowing he meant them in a purely platonic way.
“As I’m pretty new to the position, I don’t think I should be too pushy about my schedule just yet. But trust me, I wish I could.” you pushed the “2” button followed by the “6” button and waited for the doors to close. 
“Yeah, I know. Guess I’ll just keep eating with Mia,” he replied and you nearly cringed at the thought of him eating with her; she just so happened to be extremely pretty. “She’s nice, just doesn’t say much.” he shrugged and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. You were just happy she wasn’t flirting with him or anything like that. 
The doors opened and you frowned as Joshua stepped out and turned to face you. 
“So long,” he said dramatically as he sent you a theatrical, yet relatively sarcastic, look as the doors closed. 
“Bye Joshua.” you laughed as the elevator closed and blocked him from view, your lonely ascent to the 6th floor beginning. Once you arrived, you trudged to your office and attempted to mentally prepare for another long day without Joshua.
Okay, so you had a gigantic crush on him if it wasn’t obvious, but how could you not? Working with the sweetest, funniest, most reliable, humble, and attractive guy you’d ever met almost everyday for 6 months was bound to have an affect on you. You never told him, though. You knew that he was out of your league, and that being said, you also didn’t want to risk ruining your friendship, and thus, you kept your feelings to yourself. 
Your day was full of meetings and your boss grilling you about if you had done the things on her extraordinarily long to-do list. You told her that you had done most of it and would try to get everything done by the end of the day. She was less than excited about the fact that you used the word “try”, but simply stressed you that you get it done before finally leaving you alone. 
She left at 4, an hour before you were supposed to, and you were happily able to tell her that you were almost done with the tasks she had given you. She gave you a smile, which was pretty impressive for her, and you continued working. 
You were typing away on your computer, and had been for the better part of an hour without realizing it, when there was a knock at your door. You looked up and saw Joshua entering your office, the butterflies in your stomach beginning to swarm. 
“Hey?” you questioned. He normally never came up to your office. 
“It’s almost 5:20 and you didn’t meet me downstairs, so I figured I should check up on you.” 
“Oh, is it? I didn’t even notice.” you sighed and leaned back in your chair. 
“Busy day?” he asked as he walked into your office, placing one his thigh on top of your desk and leaning on it with his arm.
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” you groaned, “but with great power comes great responsibility.” he smiled down at you sweetly, wishing he could take some of your workload from you. 
“Well how about you relinquish your power for today,” he turned off your monitor, “and let me walk you to your car?” you smiled back at him and nodded. Your work was saved automatically, so you shut down your computer and gathered your things before standing up and leaving your office, your best friend in tow. 
“Any plans tonight?” he asked as you made your way to the elevator. 
“Just a warm shower, very comfortable pajamas, and maybe some Netflix. What about you?” you answered honestly as you pressed the “down” button, the door opening immediately. 
“I think the guys wanna come over and play video games or something. You should come over too, we’re getting pizza, and you love pizza.” he said matter-of-factly, but you just laughed as you both stepped inside. 
“That’s very true, but I can get my own. Enjoy the guy's time though, you deserve it.” you patted Joshua’s shoulder before pressing the “1” button and watching the doors close. The elevator ride and walk to your car was comfortably silent. You reached your less than impressive vehicle and stopped, turning to face Joshua. Before you could speak, he asked you a question. 
“Hey… why do you always say no when I ask you to hang out?” he said shyly, playing with the end of one of his shirt sleeves. 
“It’s the reason that I always give you,” you shrugged. “I know you have friends other than me, so I want you to have fun with them without me intruding.”
“Well yeah, I get that, but now that we don’t work together anymore...” Joshua reached up to grab your waist and pull you closer, but he stopped himself before you could notice. “Look, I’m just saying, we would all love it if you joined us sometime, so think about it okay?” he asked kindly and you nodded. 
“I will. Promise.” you nodded. “But for now, there is a steaming hot cup of tea and a reclining couch in my future.” 
“Next time then,” he said rather dejectedly. “I’ll call you later, okay?” You nodded as you got in your car and bid each other goodbye. 
As you drove away, you wondered when you would finally take Joshua up on his offer. Maybe subconsciously you thought that meeting Joshua’s other friends or going to his apartment would make things between the two of you more serious. You thought maybe something would happen that would set your feelings for him in stone.
You were hesitant to say it was love, though, as even when you worked together you didn’t see each other outside of work much. It was probably because you were together for 40 hours a week anyway. You’d only ever gone to a bar or a restaurant after work 5 or 6 times, and you always thought that that was enough. If you thought there was even a slight chance that he would return your feelings for him, then you’d have no problem with things between you changing, but you knew he didn’t, and even if he did, you were too scared of confessing to him to find out. You had never been in love before, but what you felt for Joshua was certainly the closest you had ever come to it. 
You parked in your assigned spot and turned your car off before heading up to your apartment. Though your thoughts had depressed you slightly, you got excited when you remembered Joshua would be calling you later. 
When you got your promotion, you started calling Joshua at night and you told him that it was to talk about how each other’s days went, and it kind of was, but you mostly just wanted to hear his voice. Admittedly, it was one of your favorite things about him. Not only did he have incredible biceps, wide-set shoulders, an amazingly slender waist, pecks that were easily big enough for a bra, an exquisite complexion, and plush, pillow-like lips that his smooth, honey voice dripped off of. 
Your thoughts of Joshua put you in such a daze that you were barely aware of the fact that you were already in your bathroom preparing to take a shower. You took off your clothes and turned the water on high heat before stepping in.
Hands. You had forgotten Joshua’s hands. His palms were large and his fingers the perfect length for.... sexual things you often thought about. You wondered how much better you shower would’ve been if only he was with you…
You tried to shake the thoughts out of your head as you washed yourself as quickly as you could, longing to put on your coziest pajamas and vege on your couch. 
You hopped out of the shower, dried off and padded into your room. You hung your towel on the corner of your door and threw on your favorite shirt and pajama pants. You ran a comb through your hair and completed the steps of your skincare routine, happy that it was finally time to do absolutely nothing. 
You boiled some water and made a cup of tea to calm you down for the night and put on an episode of the show you had recently started binging. You often wished you had the courage to invite Joshua over to simply do nothing with you, as it was one of your favorite hobbies, but you were afraid of what you might do or say in the comfort of your own home, and were even more afraid of getting rejected. 
As you sipped your tea, you felt your eyes begin to grow heavy. Though each time they closed for too long, you shook yourself awake, as you realized your phone hadn’t rang yet. 
When the episode ended, you made the decision to head into your room. After putting your mug in your sink and turning everything off, you climbed into bed. It was already 11:00pm, so you hoped Joshua would be calling soon. You played games on your phone to pass the time, until finally, a familiar ringtone filled your ears.
“Hi.” you answered the call almost too excitedly. 
“Well hi there,” you could hear the smile in his voice.
“Did you have a good night?” you asked, also smiling on instinct. 
“I did, the guys got too loud though, so had to end the party early.”
“Was it Vernon or the one who thinks he’s a tiger? Those are the only two I know.” you asked and he laughed out loud; you could just see the cute eye smile he had when he laughed really hard. 
“It was the tiger, actually. Good job. How was your night?” 
“Oh, you know, did exactly what I said I was gonna do. It wasn’t as good as I thought it would be, though.” you played with the blanket that rested across your legs, remembering how you’d wished he was with you.
“Really? Why not?” he asked and you could hear the ruffling of bed sheets from his end of the call. You went back and forth between saying what you wanted to say and covering up your true emotions like you normally do, but you decided to reply with something in the middle of the two. 
“I don’t know… I guess I kinda wish I had taken you up on your offer to come over, but I definitely wouldn’t wanna play video games.” you said and he chuckled, but for once there wasn’t a trace of a smile on your face. You were nervous, as every time Joshua invited you over you wished you had said yes, this was just the first time you were admitting it to him. 
“Yeah, that doesn’t seem like you,” there was a long pause, “What… would you wanna do?” he asked ever so quietly, to the point that you almost couldn’t hear his voice. The question would normally sound innocent if you hadn’t been thinking about showering with him an hour or two prior, and something in his voice sounded sensual, like he was tempting you, trying to get you to confess something. Could he have been thinking the same things as you? 
“I-I don’t know, watch a movie or something,” you said as casually as you could, though you were sure the shake in your voice gave you away. Dammit, you thought. Why am I so stupid?
“Oh,” Joshua let out an awkward cough, “Yeah, that would be cool.”
You both just sat there in silence, in a very awkward silence. That never really happened to the two of you, one of you almost always had something to say and you hated the intensity of the current situation.
“I’m really tired, so I think I’m gonna go to sleep.” you told him, not sounding nearly as chipper as you did when you answered the phone. 
“Yeah… yeah you should do that. It’s really late.” he said and you could hear him pull the chain of what you assumed was a lamp before settling further into his bed. 
“Goodnight Josh.” you said sweetly, but hung up the call before you could hear his response. 
You, too, turned off the light that sat on your bedside table and curled up underneath your comforter. Tossing and turning, you tried to rid your mind of every dirty, sexual thought you’d had about your best friend that night. You don’t know what changed, but you were acting the complete opposite of how you usually forced yourself to act. You made an effort to never think about him provocatively, yet there you were, sexy Joshua thoughts galore, and you were beyond angry with yourself. You basically prayed that things would be normal between the two of you the next day.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to you, you were all Joshua could think about. The entire night, he’d wondered what it would have been like if you had accepted his offer and come over. How fun it would be to play video games with you, only letting you win when you were obviously frustrated. How happy it would make him to see you getting along with his 12 other best friends (he knew they would love you). How funny he would think it was when you bragged about the fact that you were able to eat more pizza slices than him, and how excited he would be sneaking you into his room, away from all the others, teasing you until you either begged him to fuck you senseless or pleaded for him to wait until everyone left. 
As much as his mind told him not to, he knew his body wouldn’t listen as his hand slid down his body until he reached his member that was already halfway hard at the mere thought of you. His mind ran wild thinking of how pretty your moans would sound, how painfully sexy you would look with your mouth around his member or your head thrown back into the pillows, and how beautiful you would look when it was all over.
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You were a complete wreck. You had woken up late, seemingly taken way longer than usual to get ready, and you spilt the coffee you had brought from home all over your blouse when you pressed the brakes too hard at a red light. Thankfully you kept an extra shirt in your office, but that didn’t change the fact that you were frazzled beyond belief. 
You somehow managed to make it to work close to on time, but you didn’t bother to wait for Joshua. You had to get up to your office and change your shirt before the now cold coffee seeped through to your skin any further. 
Though, Joshua on the other hand, was patiently waiting in his car for you to arrive, and when he saw you walking at a fast pace, in a frustrated fashion with no sign that you would be waiting for him, he let out a defeated sigh and turned off his car. Was it his fault you were frustrated? Were you still upset at how awkward things had gotten last night? Did you somehow know about his wank session that involved endless imagery of you? He surely hoped it was none of those things, especially the last one, as he made his way up to his desk.
You changed into your spare shirt in the corner of your office as fast as you could, partially because you needed to start working as soon as possible and partially so that no one would see you. The shirt was white and much tighter than you remembered it being, almost to the point that it was uncomfortable, but you didn’t have time to have an issue with it. 
Low and behold, as soon as you sat down and turned your computer on, your boss entered your office. 
“Good morning, Y/N. Happy Friday.” she said professionally. 
“Happy Friday to you as well.” you replied, trying not to sound as out of breath as you were. 
“I have a big meeting on Monday in Chicago. I’ll be leaving on Sunday and unless you want to come in on a Saturday, I highly suggest you finish all of this today.” she said as she handed you a sheet of paper. It was a list that started at the very top of the page and went all the way down to the bottom. 
“M-ma’am, I know you need all of this done, but it’s quite a lot… I’m sure there’s someone else in the office that can take on some of these tasks and help get them done much faster than I could on my own.” you said as kindly as possible, though inside you were both boiling with rage and baffled by how much she was asking of you. 
“Now Y/N…” she stepped closer to your desk and raised her eyebrow, “I promoted you for a reason. Don’t make me regret it.” and before you knew it, she was turning on her heel and walking out the door.
As badly as you wanted to bury your face in your hands and cry from stress, you knew you didn’t have time for that. You went through the list and picked out the shortest tasks to do first and numbered those with a “1”, then you found all of the tasks that were on the computer and labeled those with a “2”, and finally you marked the longer tasks, such as going different places within the building and sorting through files, with a “3”. You felt much more confident after that. 
You worked quickly yet diligently up until lunch time, but you weren’t even done with the shortest tasks yet. As you scarfed down your lunch, you decided you would do the 3 tasks next instead of the 2’s. You figured you would be stuck at work for an extra hour or two, so you would rather walk around the building while it was still populated. 
You grabbed the files you needed and went up to the 8th floor, the top floor where your boss and other executives worked, and got a few signatures. Then, you went down to the 4th and 3rd floors to collect some forms that you needed to fill out and to get information on the meeting your boss was going to. Then you, rather begrudgingly, went down to the 2nd floor where the industrial copier was. There were a few papers that your boss needed 200 copies each of, and the tiny printer in your office wasn’t by any means capable of that.
On the elevator ride down, you tried thinking if there was a route you could take to avoid seeing Joshua at his desk, but you couldn't come up with one. Normally, you’d be ecstatic that you were able to go to his floor and would spend as much time as you could at his desk without getting caught, but you weren’t really sure if he wanted to see you after last night’s awkwardness, and frankly, you didn’t know if you wanted to see him either. 
When the elevator reached the 2nd floor, you stepped out and quickly walked to the room where the copier was with your head down. You walked by Joshua’s desk, but thankfully you didn’t think he noticed you. 
Once you reached the copier, you took out the 4 papers you needed and began scanning them for copies. You waited, and waited, your foot tapping impatiently, and when the machine began printing copies of the 4th paper, there was a light knock at the door. 
“Y/N?” Joshua’s sweet voice called out and you squeezed your eyes shut in defeat.
“Hey,” you replied quietly, though you stayed with your body turned toward the copier. 
“How are you?” he asked kindly, slowly making his way over to you. 
“Bad,” you chuckled at the unbelievability of it all, “What about you?” 
“Um, fine I guess. I missed you this morning…” he said and your brows furrowed.
“You were still in your car when I got here? I was almost late.” you told him, surprise evident in your voice and your eyes wide as you finally looked at him. He was wearing a white button up identical to the one from yesterday, but his pants were khaki instead of black like usual. His hair was styled off of his forehead and it wasn’t helping the state you were in at all. 
“Yeah, well I like you being the first person I see everyday. Makes the thought of going to work a little easier.” he shrugged and you felt like you could cry. How was he so fucking sweet?
“Thanks Josh, I just had a rough morning. I’ll do better next week, but right now I’ve gotta get these papers upstairs.” you said as you bent down to grab the gigantic stack of papers the copier had produced and held them tightly to your chest once you picked them up. You gave him a shy smile and, finally, went back to your office. 
You nearly threw the papers onto your desk and separated them, putting the pieces of paper in stacks with papers alike. You then sat down and began your computer tasks, though once you saw the time on your computer, a heavy weight fell on your shoulders. You only had half an hour of work left, and there was no way you were going to be able to finish everything in that time. Though, again, you shook it off and began working. 
You typed for the remainder of the work day, feeling as if your fingers were about to fall off. You had absolutely no concept of time at that point. Had it been 1 minute or 1 hour? You didn’t know, and before you knew it, you heard a tapping sound coming from the front of your office. 
“Y/N, come on. I walked alone this morning and I’m not about to walk alone now.” 
You buried your face in your hands and let out a very frustrated groan.
“I can’t leave!” you nearly yelled. “My boss gave me this stupid long to-do this morning and unless I wanna come in tomorrow, which I so don’t, I have to finish everything tonight, but it seems like the more I do the longer this list gets and- God this sucks.” you were on the verge of tears, your elbows on your desk and your hands in your hair. You looked down and closed your eyes, not wanting tears to fall in front of Joshua; he’d never seen you cry before. 
The room was silent for a moment, then you heard footsteps. 
“Hey,” Joshua said, squatting down in front of your desk. He moved your hands off of your head and placed your arms on your desk. Red-eyed and reluctantly, you looked at him. “I’m gonna help you, okay? You’ll get everything done tonight and you’ll get to sleep in tomorrow, I promise.” he smiled a toothless, genuine smile. “Let me go get my laptop, alright?” 
On a normal day, you would insist that he should go home, that it was a Friday night and that you knew he had plans and that he should go enjoy them, but you hadn’t been this stressed since you got promoted. That being said, you simply nodded and admired his figure as he exited your office. 
You began attaching the forms you needed him to fill out to an email as you waited. Even though it was on work terms, you were really excited to finally have some alone time with Joshua. You wished you were feeling more bubbly, for his sake, but he knew how to handle you in any state.
He came back with his laptop in one hand and a foldable chair in the other. He walked around to the side of your desk that you were on and set up the chair next to you before putting his laptop on your desk and turning it on. 
“Thank you, Joshua, really. I know you had plans tonight, so it means a lot that you’re helping me.” you told him, but he just nodded. He was always the type to help without feeling the need to be thanked, so he almost never said ‘you’re welcome’.
You were typing and clicking at a rapid pace, forwarding things to your boss and to her colleagues, making sure everyone that was going on the business trip had the information they needed. You weren’t exactly why you were the one getting things for a business trip that you weren’t even going on, but you didn’t question it as you wanted to keep your job. 
At around 9pm, you finally sent out your last email. You sighed loudly and slumped down in your chair dramatically with a blissful smile on your face. Joshua looked down at you and grinned.
“All done?” he asked and you nodded.
“I feel so much better.” you admitted and sat up straight again. You placed your elbow on your desk and rested your cheek in your hand, looking toward Joshua. “Are you almost finished? I can help you with the rest.” 
“Actually,” he clicked his mouse a few times before looking at you, “I’m done too.” he closed his laptop and stood up and you followed suit. You smiled ear to ear and bent down to turn off your computer. Joshua folded the chair he was sitting in and you gathered your things before finally exiting your office. All of the lights in the building were turned off, except the emergency lights, so it was relatively dark. 
“You know,” Joshua began as you made your way to the elevator, “the guys don’t even believe you’re real at this point.” you couldn't help but giggle. 
“Yeah? Because you keep saying I’ll come to things and then I don’t?” you asked and he let out a breathy laugh, entering the elevator with you by his side and pressing the “2” button. 
“I guess so… I must’ve made you sound too good to be true.” he looked over at you, but you kept your gaze on the elevator floor, hiding your blush. Was he playing some sort of game or were you still hypersensitive from the previous night? You figured if he had something to say he would just say it, but maybe he felt the same way as you in terms of not wanting to ruin your friendship… It felt like forever, but you eventually reached the second floor and made your way to Joshua’s workspace. 
He placed his laptop on his desk and you plugged it into the charger as he went to put the chair away. You leaned against his desk as you waited, not exactly sure where he went. You tapped your foot on the linoleum floor and soon Joshua was headed back toward you. Though, the way he was walking was strange. His head was down and he seemed to be twiddling his fingers in front of him.
When he reached you, you stood up straight, a look of concern on your face. 
“Are you oka-” 
“I love you.”
You blinked up at him. “What?”
“Uhh, I’m in love with you. I don’t know why I’m telling you this right now.” he said, avoiding your gaze. 
All you could do was stand still. Normally your body and mind reacted instinctively upon hearing things, but this time you were frozen. He finally looked you in the eyes and you felt your test tighten. 
“Why…” you pondered for a moment, “Why didn’t you say something last night?!” you threw your hands up in the air frustratedly and stepped away from him. His face went from nervous to confused as he turned to look at you. 
“What? Why would I have done that?” 
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I was horny out of my mind?” you raised your voice slightly, and he was looking at you like a deer caught in headlights. You looked at him for a moment, then sighed, burying your face in your hands. “Sorry, that was… anyway what I meant to say is that I like you too, a lot actually, love is just a really scary word and I’ve never been in love before so I didn’t want to word it that way and I’m not only interested in you physically, even though that’s how it sounded, it just would’ve been nice to know that yesterday because I’ve been like, really lonely for a while now and would’ve potentially, no, definitely wanted to hook up or something, but anyway that’s beside point-” 
“Y/N.” Joshua interrupted your extremely nervous ramble and walked up to you, your chests almost touching. He reached up and gently tilted your chin so you were looking up into his beautiful brown eyes. Before you could ask what he was doing, his lips were on yours.
You couldn’t believe it, but his lips felt even softer than they looked. His kiss was gentle, warm, and inviting, just as he was. 
You put your arms around his neck and pulled him closer, wanting to feel him against you as best as you could. His tongue slid into your mouth and his hands began roaming your body. He touched you everywhere he could, as if he’d thought about what he’d do this moment on an endless loop. His hands roamed your sides, squeezing your hips with a groan before moving up to your breasts.
“God this shirt…” he whispered into the kiss. You smirked against his lips as you leaned into his touch. 
“What about it?” you replied quickly, unable to believe how amazing his hands felt even over your blouse. 
“It’s so,” he bit your bottom lip as he pulled away from the kiss, “tight.” you moaned into the kiss as his hands travelled down your body once more. One stopped at your waist and the other continued to your ass. “These skirts are ridiculous too.” he sighed against your lips, pushing your lower half against his. You could feel him growing hard in his pants, his member prodding against your stomach only exciting you further. 
“What?” you laughed, “Are they too tight?” you raised your eyebrow. He smirked against your lips, reaching down and grabbing the back of your thighs before lifting you up and setting you on the desk. You placed a lingering kiss on his lips, “Because I’ll show you tight.” you joked and he chuckled, looking down at the floor.
“I don’t know why I thought you would be able to stay serious this whole time.” he kissed you again, only this time with more force. You kept one hand on the back of his neck and moved the other one to his chest, beginning to unbutton his dress shirt. With each button that came undone, more of his beautiful honey-colored skin was revealed. 
Once his front was fully revealed, you didn’t hesitate to run your hands across his perfectly sculpted chest and down his slender waist to rest on his belt buckle. He quickly untucked your shirt from your skirt and lifted it over your head, tossing it behind you. He unbuckled your bra with ease as he kissed you, almost aggressively pulling it off and tossing it to the side. When his hands finally touched your bare breasts, he let out a long sigh, his kisses becoming sloppier. 
“This is so much better than I imagined.” he grunted, the words going straight between your legs. You couldn’t use words to express how happy, and aroused, it made you to know that Joshua had just as sinful thoughts about you as you had about him. 
Joshua removed his hands from you to pull off his shirt. He dropped it at his feet and returned one hand to your breast, thumb roaming over your nipple as his other hand fiddled with the zipper on the side of your skirt. He tugged it down and you lifted your body enough so that he could pull it off. 
Suddenly he grabbed your hips and slid you forward, your crotch pressing against his. He leaned down and took one of your nipples in his mouth, grinding his hardened member against you. The pressure on your clit and the wetness of his mouth on your breast had you whimpering, your fingers threaded through his platinum locks. 
“J-Joshua, more,” you whined, trying to keep your voice as steady as possible. He sat you up straight and your hands immediately went to work on his belt. Your hands shook slightly as you undid it, your excitement getting the best of you. As soon as it was unbuckled, you popped the button open and unzipped his pants as he quickly toed his shoes off. He kicked his pants off as well and shoved them under the desk with his foot. 
Your hand immediately went to palm his member over his boxers, a beautiful moan falling off of Joshua’s lips. He went from kissing your lips to your neck and you bit your lip, trying not to make the noises your body so desperately wanted to make. 
You sighed before reaching into Joshua’s boxers, beginning to stroke his length. He inhaled sharply at the feeling before letting out a shaky breath. When you reached the top of his cock, you ran your thumb over the tip, precum dripping down his shaft. 
“Y/N,” he moaned, “God I need to fuck you.” he let out a sigh as he rested his forehead against yours, breathing heavily. 
“Then do it.” you smirked, refusing to break eye contact as you slowly slid his boxers down his thighs. You placed a light kiss on his lips and shoved them the rest of the way down. He kicked them to where the rest of his clothes were before grabbing your hip with one hand and resting his other on the desk. He leaned forward and captured your lips in a kiss, continuing to lean forward until you were laying flat against the cold wood. 
He kissed you sweetly as his hand travelled down your body, moving right past where you needed him most, to grip your thigh. You knew he was teasing you and you hated it. 
As soon as you went to complain, his lips were kissing your neck once more. He bit down gently on your skin before sliding his tongue over the wound. You let out a moan as he moved to another spot on your neck, repeating the process on another spot of supple skin. 
You moved your hands to his hair and pulled on it, arching into his touch. He then peppered kisses across your chest before moving to your breasts. He wrapped his mouth around one and his large hand encompassed the other. He sucked on your nipple before pulling on it with his teeth, the action going straight between your legs.
He sloppily kissed his way down your stomach, his hands moving down your legs and removing your heels. When he reached right below your navel, he slowly spread your legs. You were hesitant, being so exposed always made you nervous, but you were too far gone to even think of changing anything. 
He lightly blew on your clit, eliciting a loud moan to fall from your lips. Your back arched and you tugged on his hair, trying to pull him closer to your heat.  
“Tell me what you want.” though his voice sounded sweet, his tone was adamant. He stared at your pussy, glistening beautifully just for him. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting the opportunity to touch you, to feel you. 
“I,” he ran his finger along your heat, collecting your wetness and causing you to let out a shaky breath as he trailed his wet finger down your thigh. “I-I want your mouth.” you rushed. He continued gently roaming his finger all around your lower half, though purposefully avoiding your sensitive spot. 
“Want my mouth… where?” he pouted slightly as he looked up at you from between your legs. 
“Joshua please don’t make me-” he cut you off by slowly licking from your entrance to your clit. He lapped at your pussy, collecting your juices on his tongue before sucking on your clit. You breathed heavily as you grabbed at his hair, whimpers leaving your lips. He kitten licked at your heat as he slid one of his long fingers into you. 
“Oh my god yes,” you moaned breathlessly as he pumped it in and out of you. He soon added a second finger, curling them inside of you before pumping them a few times and repeating the process. The tips of his fingers hit your spot, and he knew it too. You clenched around his fingers and moaned louder than you had the entire night. 
“Joshua…” you said quietly, stopping his hand with yours. He looked up at you with wide eyes, thinking that he had done something wrong. You brought his fingers to your lips and Joshua bit his lip as he watched you suck them clean. You put your hand on the back of his head and crashed your lips to his, the taste of you still on his tongue. 
“What is it?” he whispered against your lips. You let your tongue explore his mouth as he slowly stood up. You reached down to stroke his length once more, Joshua bucking into your hand involuntarily.
“Wanna come on your cock.” you admitted and felt him smirk against your lips. You laid back down eagerly, Joshua leaning with you, continuing the kiss. 
He propped himself up on one elbow and moved his other hand in between your bodies, aligning his cock with your entrance. He kissed you passionately as he slid into you, a guttural moan falling from Joshua’s lips and a high-pitched one falling  from yours. He buried his face in your neck as you got used to the feeling of each other, the euphoria being better than you could have imagined. 
“Okay,” you exhaled and tapped his shoulder. He slowly pulled out of you and then slammed back in, repeating the slow yet menacing process until it was clear the both of you needed more. 
Joshua stood up straight, your hips tight in his grip, and quickened his pace. You could feel every inch of him, a light sweat covering your forehead. 
“Harder,” you pleaded, though your voice was barely audible.
Your wish was his command as he kept the fast pace, but began pounding into you mercilessly. With each thrust he hit your g-spot, causing your back to arch almost painfully.
“You feel so good baby,” he groaned, a quiet moan falling from your lips at the unexpected nickname.
Joshua couldn’t keep his eyes off of you and his ears worked hard to pick up every sound that fell from your lips. Your breasts bounced with each thrust and he could hear how wet you were; how wet he had made you. Other than how sinfully beautiful you looked under him, the fact that he was the one who was making you feel so good was driving him crazy. 
“I’m so close,” you whimpered, eyes closing as you relished in the feeling. One of Joshua’s hands moved from your waist to your clit, adding pressure as he thrusted into you. You cried out, grabbing his hand that was on your hip and digging your nails into it. 
“Look at me,” he demanded. As hard as it was, you opened your eyes and looked directly into his. There was hair sticking to his forehead and a few beads of sweat were rolling down his chest and you swore you could’ve come from the sight of him alone. 
The combination of Joshua’s cock thrusting into you at the perfect angle along with his finger on your clit and the face he made when you clenched around him was enough to throw you over the edge. You came around him, the calling out of his name accompanying your shaking body in its euphoric state. 
As soon as you came down from your high, Joshua pulled out of you and rubbed his length along your heat, cumming on your stomach with a loud moan. 
You laid there, sweaty and exhausted, your chest moving up and down rapidly. You reached up and ran your hands through your hair as Joshua opened one of his desk drawers. He pulled out a napkin and wiped his cum off of you before tossing it into the trash can. 
“Thank you,” you said shyly. He nodded and offered his hand to you. You took it and he pulled you up toward him, a small smile on your face. 
“See I knew you were hot, but that was insane.” he pecked your lips as you laughed.
“Right back at you.” you moved a few of the hairs off of his forehead and admired his slightly dewy features. 
“Now I say,” he ran his hands down your bare sides, “we stay at your place tonight. Our first time having sex should be our first time spending the night together right? I would say we could go to my place, it’s kind of a mess.” he suggested, lacing his fingers together behind your back. You smiled up at him.
“I love you too.” you said and his face dropped.
“What?” he mirrored you with his words. 
“I love you too. I realized I never said it back to you before, but I do.”
Joshua remembered you mentioning not knowing what being in love feels like and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Then, as if a lightbulb went off in his head, he made a face of realization. 
“It was the dick wasn’t it?” he questioned, causing you to let out a laugh.
“What’re you talking about?” you asked as you leaned back on your hands.
“Cause before you were all like ‘oh I don’t know what love is’ and now you’re saying you love me.” he impersonated you and now you were both laughing, specifically at the chances of it all. 
“It wasn’t just the sex… but I will admit it was the deciding factor.” 
“Well, I’m glad you decided to return the feeling.” the conversation ended as his eyes slowly made their way from your face to your neck. “I see I left my mark,” he ran his fingers over the few hickey’s he had left near your collarbones, “Sorry about that.” 
Your eyes fluttered shut at his touch, your skin seemingly more sensitive than it was before. “Stop touching me or I’m gonna try and fuck you again and I would like our next time to be outside of the office.” 
“So you mean like, at the park or something?” you opened your eyes and looked at him with a deadpan expression. He flashed you a dorky smile, but you just rolled your eyes, standing up to collect your clothing.
He tried to convince you that what he’d said was funny as the both of you got dressed, but you simply nodded and threw out an ‘mhm’ here and there. 
As you left the office, hand in hand for the first time, you decided to stop by Joshua’s apartment so he could pick up some clothes for the weekend (he didn’t plan on going home until he had to) and to drop off his car, then head over to your place. 
Once you arrived at your apartment, you took a somehow innocent shower together. Both of you were tired, but neither of you were through with feeling the other’s skin on your own. You took your time getting ready for bed, running a comb through your hair and applying moisturiser. You talked to Joshua and it felt like nothing had changed, you were still the best friends you were before, and you wondered if that meant you were in love with each other the entire time, maybe even before you ever realized you liked him. 
You settled into your bed, Joshua’s bare chest under your head. He ran his hand through your damp hair as your eyelids grew heavier. 
“So I guess we’re, what, together now?” he asked and you looked up at him.
“I’d like that if you would, yeah.” you said quietly, hoping that after your evening the two of you were on the same page. 
“More than anything.” 
He kissed your forehead and you returned to your spot on his chest, a thankful, thoroughly pleased smile on your face as you drifted off to sleep. 
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a/n: hi.. sooooo this is my first time writing a ~lengthy one shot and also my first time writing smut and i kNOW that it’s not very GOOD but i tried ok i promise i Will get better but yeah this is like 2/10 stars so i apologize :( i hope if anything that you guys like the storyline and/ or the dialogue or idk i hope you guys at least like one aspect about it sdjlsfjlkjsdf this was a bit rushed so admittedly it could be better but truthfully i got really excited about writing it ANYWAY!! i chose to write this based on the results from the writing preferences survey i have pinned! so if you wanna fill it out if you haven’t that would be super :^) again i hope you guys liked this and thank you so so much for reading <3
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makeste · 4 years
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BnHA Chapter 296: Ngl, This One Pissed Me Off
Previously on BnHA: Deku was all, “p.s. I actually activated yet another quirk several chapters ago when Kacchan got stabbed.” Compress was all, “[gets captured and passes out].” Spinner was all “[rifles through Tomura’s pockets and slaps a random Charbroiled Hand onto his friend’s unconscious face].” Tomura was all, “SOMEHOW THAT ACTUALLY WORKED” and woke up again, except it wasn’t really him, it was everyone’s favorite Final Villain, AFO. AFO was all, “time to escape finally” and summoned a bunch of Noumu and Absconded with Spinner and the DabiMarble in tow. Skeptic was all, “Horikoshi forgot I existed, but I’m actually Absconding in marble-form as well.” Deku was all, “ATTENTION WORLD, I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I OFFICIALLY WANT TO SAVE SHIGARAKI TOMURA.” And then the arc just sort of ended lol.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all, “but when you think about it, do we really need literally any female teachers at U.A. at all?” and for whatever reason doesn’t stop to wait for an answer. Midnight, who absolutely did not need to die, Dies, and I’m pissed about it. Ochako wanders the ruins of Jakku for what feels like hours, rescuing small children while her adult hero compatriots fall to pieces around her, because apparently the U.A. kids really are the only people who have their shit together. The citizens of Japan are all “damn that’s wild, wonder how fucked we are now,” but are actually super casual and chill about it which is oddly realistic. The chapter ends with AFO in Tartarus being all “lol time for the prison break arc,” without giving us so much as a chance to catch our breath, like holy shit. Are we on the clock or something now, goddamn.
lmao it’s like 7pm on a Sunday night and this is out already. this is like the worst possible timing lol. there goes my nice, relaxed evening. unless of course this turns out to be a nice, restful, soothing chapter, as chapters coming on the heels of traumatic, earth-shattering battles so often are. yeah, break out the Pina Colada song and the little drink umbrellas, I got a good feeling about this one
(ETA: I mean, I was obviously being sarcastic here but damn, Horikoshi.)
-- fff why did I laugh
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it’s the crumbling city ruins in the background that really does it, I think. JUST LOOK AT THIS MESS THAT YOU HAVE MADE, EVERYONE. FOR SHAME
also, the title is dramatic af and I am so fucking excited you guys, like holy shit. BnHA’s In-Between arcs have always been my favorite part of the series, because it’s when all the character development and angst and/or catharsis happens. just, those little breathing spaces in between the action when everyone gathers to recuperate and compartmentalize their fresh new traumas lmao. bring on that angst!! but also, let’s please have some Comfort to offset all of this Hurt too, please and thanks
blah blah blah so the survivors were evacuated, good good, can you actually show us though?
AHHHHHHH
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PIXIE BOB SURVIVED!!!! WASH IS STILL ALIVE LMAO HOW. THIRTEEN’S FACE, OMG SHOULD I LOOK AWAY. IS IT LIKE MANDALORIAN RULES. IDK HOW IT WORKS
HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY ALIVE. LOLS ANYWAY I’M HERE FOR IT. FEEL FREE NOT TO KILL ANYONE ELSE HERE HORIKOSHI, I THINK WE’RE GOOD
(ETA: it’s like talking to a brick wall.)
oh my god do we really need exposition about how the heroes tried to stop TomurAFO from escaping and OF COURSE failed completely because they suck lmao. oh my god I am shocked, that is such shocking news
wow they only managed to defeat three of the Noumus. holy shit. again, all of the Not-Kid Heroes are only slightly more useful than cardboard cutouts of heroes at this point, MORE AT ELEVEN
so Tomura may have lost the PLF, but he still more or less has an army then, huh. I really don’t know how anyone could expect a timeskip with that threat looming over everyone’s heads
oh nvm lol there are only seven Noumus left. wait so you’re telling me there were only ten Nearly High Ends in that last chapter?? felt more like fifty but whatever lol I’ll take your word for it
COMPRESS YAY YOU’RE ALIVE TOO
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MAYBE THEY CAN EVEN REATTACH HIS ASS. I’M SERIOUS LOL, BECAUSE HE STILL HAS IT, DOESN’T HE? OR IF NOT, THEY CAN REBUILD HIM WITH A PROSTHETIC ASS. he’ll be more powerful than ever
WHAAAAAAT YEAH BOIIIII
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WOOO, EDGESHOT, WOOOOO. THAT’S HIS WAY OF THE NINJA
YEAHHHHH SUCK IT, PLF
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(ETA: for the record I don’t think Cementoss is dead here, just badly wounded. if he had died he would have been included in the forthcoming In Memoriam page along with the others.)
GET BENT LOL. TRUMPET I FOR REAL FORGOT YOU EVEN EXISTED. I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU LOSERS AGAIN PLEASE. ONLY INTERESTING CHARACTERS MAY PROCEED PAST THIS POINT
dsflksaldkh;l
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that’s... holy shit. that’s a bigass mansion, that’s what that is. also so does this mean there are still eighty thousand PLF members still at large, because that’s a plot line I very much do not care about in any way whatsoever lol. can’t we just retcon to say that Re-Destro was exaggerating? I mean hell, a CEO criminal pulling some Enron-type bullshit is pretty believable, isn’t it? those poor bamboozled shareholders
“makeste, here’s an idea, what if you scrolled down to read the rest of the page” lol gtfo of here with your logic and your sense
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well those 132 people have made it onto my enemies list, but at least it sounds like they more or less took care of the rest. good riddance
and Toga escaped, as we knew already, and is now on the lam. hopefully she reunites with the League again at some point. although her doing her own thing could also be very interesting. idk what I want lol
anyway so there’s another big panel showing how fucked up the city is, just in case it hadn’t already been hammered into our skulls yet. there’s a car dangling off a roof somehow. how does that even happen. did Machia pick it up and put it there or
NOOO OMG RANDOM SMALL CHILDREN IN PERIL WHAT IS THIS
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OCHAKO PLEASE SAVE THEM OMG
“if it falls on me, I want you to have my Endeavor pouch” OH MY STARS. HIS MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION. NO MY CHILD YOU CAN’T GIVE UP HOPE YET
LMAO
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“FOR THE LAST TIME NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR DUSTY-ASS POUCH, KYLE” fffff these children are dying and I am cracking up so hard my eyes are tearing up what is wrong with me
YAY THEY SAVED THEM
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but listen. not that I don’t love seeing the girls kick ass, because you know I do. but I also really, REALLY need to know what’s going down with the Musketeers, and I’m not looking forward to waiting three whole weeks for that so please Horikoshi. please hurry this along so we can get to them
goddamn it Tsuyu is saying she’ll take the boy to the shelter to get first aid, and I was all “okay great because that’s probably where Kacchan and the others are too”, but now someone else is shouting for help and Ochako’s all “I’ll go” and it’s like OKAY BUT PLEASE? this chapter is already more than half over omfg. ‘bout to start wringing some hands here
oh my god
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is this Toga again??? WHAT THE HELL, THIS CREEPYASS HALF-DEAD DUDE BETTER BE LEADING UP TO SOMETHING INTERESTING, I AM REALLY GETTING IMPATIENT
OR, I GUESS, WE COULD DO THIS INSTEAD
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“SO AS IT TURNS OUT, NOT EVERY CHARACTER WHO NEEDS HELP SAVING THEIR SPOUSE FROM FALLEN RUBBLE IS ACTUALLY TOGA IN DISGUISE” HUH, OKAY. DULY NOTED. FILED AWAY FOR FUTURE REFERENCE
but fucking... okay, look. I love Ochako, I do. but I like her a whole lot more when she’s interacting with other characters I actually care about, as opposed to running around in the rubble rescuing random people while the fate of my other children is still up in the air. like okay, I get it, shit’s bad, now if you don’t mind we really don’t have to spend all day here though
...anyways but nope, we’re still staying with her. she’s bouncing around rescuing all of these other people. omg. I literally have no patience here at all and it’s terrible, I know, but oh my god
omg finally something interesting is happening!!
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look at that, an adult hero standing around being useless while the kids are busy getting shit done. why is this becoming a recurring theme
MY DUDE, THIS IS SERIOUSLY NOT THE TIME THOUGH
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I GET THAT IT’S OVERWHELMING AND THAT YOU’RE TRAUMATIZED AND SHIT, BUT GUESS WHAT, SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. THAT’S WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR. JUST LOOK AT OCHAKO! SHE’S SO EXHAUSTED HER HAIR HAS EVEN LOST ITS FLOOF, AND YET SHE’S STILL OUT HERE DOING HER BEST. ONE SAVE AT A TIME MY MAN. GET IT DONE. LITERALLY A SMALL CHILD IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT CALLING FOR THEIR MOMMY AND YOU’RE JUST STANDING THERE ALL “WAHH IT’S TOO MUCH” LIKE COULD YOU PLEASE POSTPONE YOUR CRISIS UNTIL AFTER YOU SAVE THEM PLEASE
OH MY GOD
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MAYBE YOU SHOULD!! oh my god I really cannot, like wow. oh no I actually have to save people and do my job, god forbid. jesus christ, at least the other heroes tried. but Moping Hero: Bellyache here is just throwing in the towel and fuck everyone who still needs his help I guess. you are like the anti-Deku my dude
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO OH FUCK
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THAT’S MIDNIGHT’S HAND OH FU -- SHE BETTER NOT -- HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD --
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I’M GONNA LOSE IT I REALLY AM!!!!
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HOLY SHIT HOW INTENSE OF A RAGE DO I NEED TO BRACE MYSELF TO BE FEELING HERE. THIS CHAPTER WAS ALREADY TRENDING TOWARDS DISAPPOINTMENT, DO WE REALLY NEED TO GO AND COMPOUND THAT
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
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you’re telling me Tomura wasn’t brought back by that electric shock, but by his “fuck you” attitude? why are you explaining this to us now, again??
......
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HEY, SO UM, FUCK ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS, THOUGH. (: OH MAN. OHHHHHH MAN. I HAVE... I HAVE GOT A LOT OF WORDS FOR THIS AND HERE ARE SOME OF THEM
FUCK
THINGS THAT SHOULD BE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO “SOME BULLSHIT”: THIS
FUCK
GET FUCKED HORIKOSHI
AND ALSO PLEASE FUCK RIGHT OFF!!
AND SERIOUSLY THOUGH FUCK YOU
NO BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THOUGH!! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED OFF ANYONE. LITERALLY ANY CHARACTER. YOU HAD TWELVE FEMALE PROS. TWELVE. YOU COULD HAVE MADE MORE OF THEM. PROBABLY, IF THERE ACTUALLY WERE SUPERHEROES IN REAL LIFE, THERE WOULD BE MORE THAN TWELVE OF THEM IN AN ENTIRE NATION. BUT NO, YOU WERE ALL “TWELVE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.” AND THEN WHEN IT CAME TIME TO KILL PEOPLE OFF, YOU WERE ALL “WELL ALL RIGHT THEN, LET’S SEE, I PICK... THESE 18 RANDOM SIDE CHARACTERS WITH LITTLE TO NO DIALOGUE, PLUS THE ONE SINGLE FEMALE U.A. STAFF MEMBER WE ACTUALLY HAD. YEAH THAT OUGHTA DO IT”
AND BY THE WAY, HORIKOSHI, I PICKED SOMETHING UP FOR YOU ON MY WAY HOME, HERE IT IS, ┌П┐(・_・) do you like it it was on sale. I saw it and was like, “Horikoshi would really like that.” so there you go. sorry it wasn’t gift-wrapped
p.s. I hope y’all can tell that that’s supposed to be a middle finger and not... something else lmao. er. anyway
(ETA: so I got a few asks from people who were really put off by this part of the reaction post, and so I’m just adding an extra note here to make it clear that I do not actually wish harm on Horikoshi in any way or even particularly dislike him. I wasn’t happy about Midnight’s death and I wanted to convey that, and so I went with my usual LOUD CAPSLOCK REACTION tone, but looking back on it I can see that it’s kind of a lot, lol. 
so just to be clear, the “fuck you” stuff is almost entirely tongue-in-cheek. that’s on me, I forget sometimes that there are people who share these sentiments unironically and so I didn’t think to make sure my intended meaning here was clear. anyways, killing Midnight was still a really problematic decision for numerous reasons but it is what it is. Horikoshi is not perfect, the story isn’t perfect, and I’m not gonna pretend like it is, but again just to be clear, I don’t harbor any actual ill will toward Horikoshi here.)
shit. and wow this man really went and killed off fucking Mystic too on top of that. have you ever seen a character fail so spectacularly at living up to their hype. r.i.p. Mystic you were like the Star Wars sequel of characters
(ETA: I have no fucking idea why I keep thinking Majestic’s name is Mystic lol. rest in peace you old scarecrowy bastard.)
and poor Momo, though. fuck. lost two mentors in a single day. and do not even get me started on Aizawa holy shit
so now we’re cutting to some random townspeople who are gossiping about the Todoroki drama. this is actually interesting in spite of my newfound determination to hate this chapter lol
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ngl I am kind of heartened to see that not everyone fell for Dabi’s bs hook line and sinker though. Jeanist returning from the dead literally two seconds after Dabi was all “I SWEAR ON MY HONOR AS A VILLAIN THAT HAWKS MURDERED HIM” probably helped with that a bit! but there will doubtless be many other people who do believe him, or are at least still inclined to side-eye the heroes in general either way given how much they sucked in this arc. very, very interesting
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so it seems though that even more than the whole Endeavor reveal, at the end of the day it’s going to be the heroes failing to live up to their end of the “put your faith in us and let us use our quirks and in return we’ll protect everyone and keep them safe” implied social contract that’s going to have the biggest impact on people’s opinions moving forward. basically this was always going to be a disaster no matter what
OH MY GOD FINALLY AHHHHH
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Horikoshi really tapped into some of the real-life political energy of the past few years huh. Fuck Him Still for killing off Midnight, but I will admit that so far this is hella intriguing and I am really, really curious to see where things go from here
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE KIDS FROM THE BABYSITTING ARC
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“FIVE PEEPEE MAN WOULDN’T LIE TO US” YES CHILDREN YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. at least the little ones still have faith
UM
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 ( •̀ へ •́  )
that’s great. that’s really keen. all we need right now, amirite
GOOD FOR YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT
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let’s just wait for him to explain what he feels. you know he likes to drag it out
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is that Dabi crouched down there next to Spinner? looks like they got him out of the marble after all. but why has his hair changed colors again lol what
anyways. your turn to what??
:’) excuse me what
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hahahaha are you fucking kidding me. and that’s where we’re going to end the chapter then. lol okay
so let’s recap. Midnight died. we spent ten hours watching Ochako dig people out of rubble for no apparent reason and were then introduced to my new least favorite character, and because Ochako is so nice she didn’t even punch him in the face even though she really should have. we did not get any Kacchan or Shouto. we got one panel of Deku, who is Finally Asleep. and the chapter ended with AFO ordering his Noumus to go set free, AND I QUOTE, HIS “MAIN BODY.” and now I gotta wait an entire week for Caleb’s translation to confirm that last part. omg
but it sounds like a prison break is imminent, which is very, very interesting. ...and actually, is it weird that I’m actually rooting for it to be a success? I have no idea what this guy is planning, but I do know that as long as the main part of his soul is still residing in Tomura’s body, Tomura’s chance of surviving the series is close to zero. and villain though he may be, I’m still rooting for his redemption (nice to have Deku on my side now too), and so yeah. so like if AFO feels like using some latent Exorcism Quirk or something that he’s been saving for just such an occasion, be my guest lol
meanwhile this doesn’t bode well for All Might though. or anyone else aside from Tomura, really. shiiiit
anyway. [slaps roof of chapter] this baby can fit so much bullshit in it
353 notes · View notes
babykatsu · 4 years
Text
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PAIRING: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader
WORDCOUNT: 7k
RATING: nsfw ⛈
GENRE: smut!
WARNINGS: slow burn, swearing, kissing, no intercourse, foreplay, car sex, little bit of degradation, a littleeee rough!
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⤷ SYNOPSIS:
as though fate had its worst intentions, bakugous car had broken down on the way to your high school reunion with you in the car as well. GREAT! Not only was it getting dark and chilly, you were also in the middle of nowhere... That really didn’t ease the atmosphere, especially when Bakugou was already hesitant on lending you a drive to the reunion. But with the discomfort, there always comes a way to ease it ;)
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AUTHORS NOTE:
a special thanks to @laylahoran for not only helping me proof read and pick out the title for this scenario BUT also for just being there to support me through out this whole thing! Literally the purest friend🥺🥺💕💕 ilysmmm!!!
Also, this is my first detailed smut imagine so sorry if it’s a bit sloppy :(
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Life after high school proved to be a lot more different than expected. For starters, after having moved to find better work opportunities in the city, you found yourself deprived of nearly all social interaction with your previous friends. Yes, you still caught up over text and call, but it was safe to say it was not quite the same. Not only did the hectic schedule of working for a hero agency clash with your friends’, when you were on your days off all your friends seemed to be busy with their own goals of becoming high ranking heroes. You sort of started living a more solitary lifestyle, a drastic change from your previous one.
So when you flopped down on your couch, your body sluggish and desperate for sleep after a bustling day of work, you felt suddenly energised. Eyes wide as you could just barely believe what you were reading. An email had illuminated on your phone screen, reading the following:
“Greetings class A! It has been nearly a year since we have all graduated and I’m in complete aw as to how far you have all come :) On a more dejected note, however, we have all seemed to grow more distant due to our work. I have missed you all dearly and believe the connections we all formed are amazing experiences we should not forget about! Though we may have kept in contact here and there, it’s evident that we all have been lacking. This is why I have taken it upon myself to set up a reunion party! More information is soon to be delivered in the next email, and I’m super excited to hear from you all. Arrangements with your agencies will take place as soon as confirmations come through. You’re previous classmate, Tenya Iida”
As though your prayers had been answered, you were greeted with that email. Now, this was an offer you couldn’t pass up! Without hesitation, your fingers started typing away at your phone, the pads of your fingers darting across the glass as though they had a mind of their own. You were determined to go, excitement flooding your sense at just the thought of the whole event! As your eager fingers hit send on the email a sudden thought crossed your mind.
Shit...
You hadn’t thought about it previously, mind racing and occupied with the general idea of a reunion, how were you going to get to the location of the party?
As said previously, life was not as expected after graduating, and though heroes lived a life with above-average pay, bathing in luxuries at times, it all took years of experience. No way could you have reached such a high status having worked for less than a year in this field. With the lack of money to your name, there were no chances of you owning a car at this very moment in time. Maybe public transport was a good option? But the delays, need for time arrangements and the entire coordination of your journey was already giving you a headache. The travel aspect was less than fruitful.
But you were going to get there one way or another.
Taking in a deep breath, you gently pressed the off button on your device, sinking your body further into the couch as you allowed your body to finally relax. Your mind pondered of all the different options, from uber’s and cabs to all the different forms of public transport available. But as your unresting thoughts echoed around in your head, you finally concluded. A conclusion that churned your stomach, a fluttery feeling pricking the goosebumps along your chilled skin.
You could ask Bakugou for a lift.
Though this plan seemed faulty, a high chance he would decline the offer to attend the reunion filled with “extras”, you still had your hopes up high.
Out of all the people who could have moved to the same part of town as you, Bakugou was the one. It was pure coincidence that you both had ended up not too far from each other, a block away in fact. Though throughout all three years that you attended u.a you had barely spoken to him. You had your exchange in words here and there, the occasional insult would be thrown your way, but oddly enough out of all people in the class, you received his harsh treatment the least. You just figured, he barley knew you so acknowledging your existence was a waste of his time. Yet his subtle acts of warmth towards you didn’t go unnoticed by your subconscious, a strange feeling invading your body. You developed feelings for the boy.
Shockingly, you found yourself attracted to him, even with the lack of a solid foundation for a proper friendship. You didn’t know what exactly enticed you so much, maybe it was his toned chiselled frame or perhaps his confident exterior. Whatever it was, it had your heart thumping faster at every glance you two shared, and the thoughts that lingered with these unexplainable emotions were even more hectic. It was as though every second you spent alone, confined by the four white walls of your room, you lay wondering of all you wanted him to do to you. A peak of curiosity soon turned into a full-fledged lust for him. The moment you batted your eyelids shut, you’d picture his muscular body towering yours, his hands pinning you down as he’d shamelessly make you a mess under his touch. A thought of him could make your entire body explode. It was all far too complicated for you to process.
That’s why when you moved to a new part of the city, in hopes to start work as well rid yourself of your weird infatuation, you went pale at the sight of him only a couple streets away from where you newly lived. You tried to convince yourself this was indeed a one-time occurrence, yet you’d see him again and again... and again. He most certainly lived near you, it was undeniably true.
Every time you’d return from work, shoes hitting the concrete sidewalk with an echoing tap, you’d always pass him. At first, you shared no words, not a single exchange between you two until one day he randomly spoke up. You remember that moment like the back of your hand, as though it happened just a few minutes ago. Admittedly, the conversation was nothing spectacular, but it still caused a rapid shock to strike through you as the memory of you exchanging numbers with him lurked your brain. The whole event was so bizarre and it still seems unreal now.
Snapping from your daydream, you came to a solid answer. This was probably the best time to put his number to good use. Unlike you, he had a car and could most likely drive you to where ever this reunion will take place... That’s if he decides he is going to attend as well. That’s where your plan seems to not be so successful.
Yet, you had no other choice. He was your best shot at finally getting a break from this borderline isolation.
Nervously, you picked your phone up once more, gently scrolling through your contacts until a familiar name was visible: ‘Katsuki Bakugou’. A nervous feeling burnt at the pit of your stomach as you anxiously went to type out a message. Your shaky fingers tapped the keyboard, with every additional letter that was added to your sentence, your heartbeat sped up even faster until you felt it pound against your ears. Who knew you could feel so nervous about a generic message... It was Bakugou you were texting after all. Not only was he known for being an uncontrollable hothead, but he was also the guy you often fantasied about. You were more than flustered by this point.
Finally, after rereading your message frantically over and over again, you hit send. You felt your heart quickly sink before a chill ran through your entire body. Now you play the waiting game...
On the other end of the line sat a pouting Bakugou. Just like you, he had received the same email, his face crinkled into a frown as he read the disgusting email present on his screen. Like he’d show up to watch a bunch of extras overly excited for no reason. The entire thought of a reunion made his blood boil. At the same time, however, he wouldn’t mind seeing a few faces.
Sure he hated the class, but there was no denying he missed the ‘old days’. He rolled his eyes and let out a huff, in complete annoyance at how soft he’d become. Was he really contemplating going to that shitty reunion? Apparently so, as he decided to type up a quick response to Iida's invite.
A thought he had tried awfully hard to suppress soon made its way to the surface. It was you. Out of all the people he’d want to meet at the reunion, it had to be you. Though he didn’t necessarily have to be at the reunion to view you.
Similarly, he found himself drawn to you for some obscure reason. All throughout high school up until now. During school, he would always gawk at the way your skirt swayed side to side as you walked or even the way you leaned against the desk arching your back most perfectly. It had Bakugous eyes adhered to you. He just wanted to run his hands across your entire body, his lips bequeathing marks on every soft sweet spot on your skin. You’d be his, the deep hickeys that scattered your delicious skin marking his territory. Never had he felt so sexually frustrated, desiring a person so bad it was making him lose his mind. He had better things to worry about, like brining the number 1 hero for starters, but no matter how much he tried denying his deepest desires they just wouldn’t leave.
He tried so hard, he even moved just to get away from you. Of course, that didn’t work, when he saw you strutting down the sidewalk, your clothes hugging all your curves in a way that made his mouth water. He wanted you, and he wanted you bad!
And Bakugou gets, what Bakugou wants.
Just as that memory swirled his mind, a ping came from his phone, the gentle vibration of the device in his palm breaking him from his fantasy. His vermillion eyes went wide as he glanced down at the notification that had just gone off. The name he wanted to see most displayed.
‘Hey! It’s [name], hope I’m not being a bother :) I’m sure you also received the email about the reunion party, I hope to see you there. That’s if I can get there... Maybe you could give me a lift? Don’t worry if you don’t want to, I understand!’
Bakugou bit his bottom lip as he squinted down at the information in front of him. As much as he wanted to agree, his pride didn’t permit him an agreement to your proposal so easily. Rather than cooperating the way he wanted to, he typed out a message juxtaposing his real desire.
And there started your exchange in messages, the back and forth and your “convincing” to give you ride. Though we all know Bakugou was going to give in to it either way.
Weeks had passed since then, the texts that followed after between you two was kept to an evident minimum. The only exchange included a catch up on your plans for the reunion and that was about it. You were more anxious by the day, knowing the reunion date was coming closer to existence.
Next thing you knew, the day had arrived.
You were seated in the passenger seat of Bakugous car. Nervously, you shifted in the leather seat, hand resting on the inner door handle as your eyes followed the passing trees that came in and out of view.
The sky was faintly clouded, a ray of golden sun piercing through parted clouds, dripping a soft sunset hue over the ivy leaves of the trees. You sat inside the car, yet you remembered the faint chilly winds that caressed your skin. Overall, the weather was decent, far from perfect but not awful either.
The tranquillity that filled the car was apparent, the most noise that was present was the hushed sound of the radio playing, the music placid. It only intensified the awkward silence that was held between you both.
Playing with the hem of your dress, you spoke up in an attempt to spark up a conversation. “well, aren’t you the conversationalist” you spoke sarcastically, a hint of playfulness in your voice. Though you spoke suddenly, Bakugou didn’t seem to divert his focus from the road. His face stayed in its usual state, not even a smirk dared to spread across his lips. Clearly, your playfulness was not reciprocated. The silence engulfed you both for a while longer before he finally responded. His reply was less than adequate, a simple hum.
You shifted your attention back onto the view outside, watching as the car drives deeper and deeper into some sort of forest. The trees grew larger, the suns light being swallowed by the towering greenery above. Cars began passing more infrequently until you had not seen one in ages on the road that had become more narrow.
It felt like you had been in this car for an unbearably long amount of time. You couldn’t tell if time was just moving slower than usual at how bored you were at this very moment in time or if your destination was farther than you expected.
Pulling your phone from your bag that rested atop your lap, you checked the time.
‘6:23 pm’
It was confirmed that time was just moving awfully slower than usual. You had only been in the car for a little under 15 minutes. There was still a fair amount of time left until the party started, so there were no worries on being late though you still had quite a few kilometres to cover. Relieved, you placed your phone back into your bag. You slowly let your eyes rest shut, hoping a quick nap would pass time more sufficiently.
And as you had just calmed your nerves enough to sleep, your body suddenly jolted forward. Your seatbelt immediately binding around your chest, pressing your body flush against the seat as you braced the impact of the sudden stop of the car.
“For fuck sake” Bakugou finally spoke up as he kissed his teeth, gripping the steering wheel remarkably tight that his knuckles were becoming white.
“what just happened?”. Out of curiosity, you questioned the man, his face now looking more annoyed than ever. His hand fiddled with the car keys, the engine roaring repeatedly as he tried turning the car on. “What does it fucking look like, dumbass?” he barked at you, still frantically trying to turn the car on. It didn’t help that he had now started slamming the steering wheel between each attempt.
“Are you out of gas?” You spoke up innocently. There was no denying you were now, in fact, feeling less hopeful that you had enough time to make it to the reunion.
For the first time, he finally made eye contact with you. His rose eyes staring at you in frustration, in complete disbelief at how oblivious you were.
“Of course not! You fucking moron, the shitty car just broke down” He barked at you before flinging the car door wide open, slamming it with a harsh bang as he made his dramatic exit.
You watched him pace up and down with distinct stomps, muttering something under his breath while typing away at his phone. Taking the hint, you exit the vehicle as well. “So, what now?” you irritate him further with your persistent queries.
“How the fuck is there no service? HOW AM I MEANT TO GET THIS SHIT FIXED?” his yells echoed through the vast scenery that surrounded you.
With him stressing, you couldn’t help but taste your mouth go dry as panic began settling in as well. It was no use having the two of you in a frenzy. Rationally, you walked over to Bakugou, your phone gripped in your hand as you formed the only logical suggestion. “Try my phone”
He didn’t even question or ridicule your suggestion like he probably desired to, instead yanking the phone out of your hand and attempting to dial-up a number. It didn’t take long until his eyes rolled back in failure and his jaw flexed with gritted teeth. No luck there either clearly.
“Guess we aren’t going to the shitty reunion. You're fucking welcome!” He yells once more, slapping the phone back into your palm. The worst somehow ended up playing out, complete defeat washing over your body.
Resting against the car, you dropped your bottom lip into a slight pout, the chilly air growing cooler.
You were in the middle of nowhere, the only form of transport for miles was now down and to top it off you were getting cold. Your body rapidly began to shiver, goosebumps pricking along your exposed skin.
“Aren’t you fucking smart” Bakugou scoffed as he stared at you, arms crossed over his broad chest. “didn’t even bring a jacket while wearing some stupid dress”
Rather than yelling like he had been doing for the last couple minutes, he was calming his nerves by teasing you. It may have been the adrenaline that made him feel so open to being more playful, or maybe he attempted to distract himself from how much of a loser he currently felt with a broken car. Whatever it was, he was now smirking at the girl in front of him, tantalising her about the cold.
“I didn’t know I’d be stuck outside, did I?” You teased back, rolling your eyes at him. The fact he was being so calm on the outside was making you feel less worried, yet more nervous at his sudden change in mood than anything.
His eyes stared you up and down, analysing your shivering state as the wind began picking up. Another sigh left his parted lips before resuming to speak. "Go sit inside the car. No use shivering like a dumbass if you can't handle a bit of wind" he chuckled slightly as he spoke, as though to assure you his comment was in fact not as rude as he intended it to come out.
Though you obeyed, taking careful steps around the car to sit back in it, you decided to throw your own snarky remark his way. "Not one to talk when you're wearing a jacket". You give him a 'look', before fully submerging yourself in the cars shielded warmth. It may have broken down not too long ago, but it was still well heated. An instant chill rolled down your spine as your body quickly adjusted to the sudden change in temperature.
"Sorry, princess. Didn't realise I had royalty as company". That devious smirk sprawled itself across his tanned face as he followed your move, getting in the car himself. Something about the way he addressed you made you quiver, the innocent word was also oh so seductive. That sudden feeling of arousal pent up inside you, fogging your thinking.
"I- don't get too cocky now". Your reply came out as a jittery stutter, senses overwhelmed by his playful tone that had you heated. Senses scattered, too flustered by his seemingly unintentional words. It's not like he knew about your fantasies of him or how your sinful thoughts begged for him to call you such names. And now as you were in the midst of it all, you couldn't help but lose yourself.
He let out another husky laugh. The way you broke apart at the simplest words only stroked his ego. No denying he purposely chose those specific words to see how you'd react, and to his surprise, it went far better than expected. "Here, have my jacket then if you wanna keep yapping about it"
Speechless, your vision was once again fixated on him. Gawking at the leather jacket that slipped of his physique, revealing his toned, muscular arms. You swallowed the nervous lump in your thought down, butterflies invading your system as you watched.
You expected him to carelessly throw the jacket your way, alternatively he leaned over. His significantly larger body mounted over yours as he placed his jacket over your exposed legs, instant warmth tickling your chilled skin.  His hands felt so smooth as they lightly brushed against your thigh, the accidental touch shooting straight to your core. It was humiliating at how quickly you discomposed around him, cheeks red and breath hitched. You just couldn't help it, a presence like his was way too intense. Especially, at this moment.
"U-um, so what are we going to do now?" you try to change topics as you felt your current heated state become far too overwhelming, whole-body hot as your thoughts began drifting to all the wrong places.
He peeped his eyes, as though deep in thought."Wait until someone hopefully passes, I guess?". The uncertainty in his tone had you feeling concerned again. The worry bombarding you, diverting your inner emotions elsewhere. You've wanted to meet your classmates so vigorously for ages, all fired up for weeks as you obsessively counting down the days, only for this to happen. Not a single car had been in view for ages, god knows until the next one would come. That's also assuming that the car would even stop for you two. This was so disappointing, a hollow feeling in your chest as you sulked.
"I guess? For god sake, we aren't even going get to the reunion in time!"
Bakugou had noticed your sudden change in mood. In all honesty, he didn't quite understand why you wanted to see those annoying dickheads anyway, but he felt strangely sympathetic towards you. "Oi, I'm fucking sorry. I'll drive you to see your friends another time".
"What if there isn't another time?" you mope at him, facing your body towards him. He doesn't reply right away, mirroring your actions instead to examine your current behaviour. There was no way he could make this situation better unless the car magically fixed itself. Which to be fair, would never happen. As his eyes scanned you, he noticed the way you were still shivering, the once heated car losing its warmth. It was his best shot at diverting the conversation.
"You're still shivering, dumbass". His red orbs were fixed on you as he reached out his arms towards you. They felt considerably warmer than you as they rested on your shoulders. You followed his gaze that watched his own hands as they rubbed you up and down carefully. The slight friction between his hands and your skin bringing you some heat. It only sunk in then that his large hands were tracing your arms, his warmth transferring to you. Flusters took over your sense again. As much as you wanted to speak up right now, you knew you'd only choke up on your words, far worse than your stutters. As your stomach swirled, you felt ardour rush to your face. A rose haze coated your skin, eyeing the way Bakugou rubbed his hands against you.
"Looks like you've warmed up, that's for sure" he grinned at you, noticing the way your chest began rising and falling, heartbeat thumping rapidly. The way your face flushed scarlet as your eyes danced around your atmosphere, all at his touch. He noticed it all. And boy was it rubbing his ego.
"I-uh, yeah. I mean- no?". Your words came out jumbled, unable to form proper sentences when his ruby eyes finally gazed up at you. The mysterious glint in them made you feel overwhelmed, unaware of what move he would make next.
"So you need to be warmed up a bit more, huh?". His hands swiftly grazed your arms, just about hovering over your soft skin. Careful touches traced it, your words departing from your brain. The entirety of your focus was on the way Bakugou's fingertips tickled you delicately, the electric feeling flowing throw you. "Speak up for me. Do you still need to be warmed?". He snapped you back into reality without warning, only to put you in a trance again. The way he spoke with such dominance, demanding for you to speak, only stirred your imagination further. You had pictured moments like these so many times, him ordering you to do as he says. And as these thoughts rushed to the surface, you started to feel heat build between your thighs.
"Yeah, sorry!". Frantically, you attempt to respond, a nervous giggle followed your sentence as it came out of your mouth. "If that's what you want, princess". He emphasised the nickname, his lips curling into a sneer as his hands began to wander. The soothing touch travelled upwards, his hands gliding over your skin, one resting on your warmed rosy cheek. His sudden action had your breath hitching. You'd portray such touches numerous times yet nothing could have appointed you for this moment as your nerves fell apart.
As you tried to ration the situation out in your mind, his eyes finally locked with yours. The intimate stare had you holding your breath. Gently, he massaged his thumb against your cheek as he slowly moved his hand to the back of your neck, chills dripping down your spine. His eyes flickered between your eyes and mouth, hinting at a kiss. Was he going to kiss you? You must have been dreaming or something. But it was all happening, right now. There was no time to contemplate the event at hand. His face was edging closer to yours only inches apart, his proximity to you titillating. As you waited for his lips to finally come in contact with yours, you began losing patience. It's like he purposely was a millimetre away from your lip just to taunt you. You took in one more breath, easing your nerves before crashing your lips against his.
Your initial cold shivers were a way for Bakugou to change the subject from his broken car, and it all had worked out in his favour. Admittedly, this was not the outcome he was intending for, but he was not complaining either. He was finally able to seel a kiss with a girl that had invaded his thoughts for years. A dream come true if you will.
His tender lips felt so soft against yours, the sweet caramel taste engulfing your senses as they oozed from his lips. The once overwhelming anxiousness that had you falling apart beneath his touch was now easing as you melted into the passionate exchange between the two of you. Bakugou's lips moved in sync with yours, sucking and tugging at your bottom lip hungrily, undoubtedly smudging your lipstick. His pearly whites sunk into your bottom lip, giving them a smooth tug before sliding his warm tongue in. As he did so, his hand explored your body, slowly descending down the side of your torso, gripping you tightly. His other hand, that had itself placed at the back of your neck, suddenly wrapped around your throat. A rough squeeze was given, encouraging a gasp to erupt from your voicebox. His unforeseen move made you feel sensitive, clenching your thighs together to relieve the desperate ache between your legs. The warm wet muscle that had slipped inside your mouth earlier adventured in your mouth, swirling around your tongue and trailing every inch. It all felt so unreal.
Suddenly, Bakugou pulled away with a string of saliva connecting you both. His hands were still firm on wherever they were on your body. Through parted lips, he panted as his gaze darted. "Fuck, looks like you got me warm as well now". His signature smirk was back, his hand that held you by the neck pulling your face closer to his. Vermillion eyes analysed you, watching the way your face was flushed, lips were wet and lipstick was smudged. Realising he probably had some red on his lips as well from your makeup, he brought one hand to his face, wiping his plump lips with the back of his hand. The image before you only made you wetter, thighs already tightly clutched. And as though he could read your mind, he brought that same hand down to your thigh with a slap. The impact of his hands against you instantly shot to your soaking core, though the actions didn't hurt you much. You felt a tingling sensation to dance across your skin. Rubbing the impacted area, Bakugou continued to look at you, his eyes occasionally diverting to were he was soothing your thigh. His hands began needing your thigh higher and higher until his fingers dipped into the gap where your two thighs made contact. Teasingly, he drove one thigh from another to part them. "And you're definitely warmed up now, baby". His words insinuating how flustered you were.
He brought his lips back to yours as he worked his fingertips up your leg. His touch was so close and you felt so sensitive, you couldn't help but let out a shaky moan into the kiss. You wanted him so bad, craving to feel every inch of him against you. Your hands eager, you brought them up to his shirt. Clenching your hands around the piece of fabric, you tugged him closer to you, the distance between you two unbearable as you sat in separate seats. Your actions brought him to a sudden pause, causing him to pull away. "Are you that desperate for me?". His seductive tone made your face heat up and even more aroused. By now, you sure as hell knew your cunt was drenched. "You want me so fucking bad, don't you?". His hand was back in motion, fingertips almost touching you through your underwear. All you could do was moan in response as you craved his touch. "I can't fucking hear you". He taunted you once again, before his fingertips finally stroked your wet panties, massaging your folds through the cotton. You felt your breath tremble as he applied gentle pressure.
"Y-yes, I've wanted you so bad for a long time". Voice unsteady, you could just barely articulate. You felt the way his fingers caressed you through your underwear, index finger circling your clit so that the fabric would trigger your sensitive bud. Another moan emerged out your lips as you took in a profound breath. "I can tell. Your fucking soaking and it's all for me, babygirl". His cool breath trickled down your ear as he murmured against it.
You couldn't bear it anymore, the distance practically eating away at your patience as sexual frustration overflowed your senses. His fingers continued to shower you in affection but it was no longer enough. You needed more. "Please, Bakugou. I-I want you so bad right now". Hitched breaths and shallow moans rolled off of your tongue as you spoke, Bakugou's eyes sinful as he observed you.
"You'll have to be more specific than that". The same mockeries filled your ears, craving to see you flush as you spoke of all your desires, embarrassed by their explicit nature. As he awaited your response, he slowed his movements down, only teasing you further as it stript you off the pleasure you so desperately yearned for. "Shit, I want to feel you. I want to be closer- please".
The words dripped from your mouth as though it was second nature, the thirst for him more than unambiguous by your needy state. With that, his hands left your core, the cool air surrounding you as his warmth departed. You watched him carefully with longing eyes. The way his cherry centres locked on you as his grip came to your waist. His firm hands grabbed hold of you as he granted your wishes, placing you on his lap.
You sat on top of him, his toned legs holding you up and his hands pursued your body. The way your thighs rested atop his, your sensitive core throbbing against his hardening cock and the way his palms massaged your curves felt all so surreal. Subconsciously grinding against him, you felt his cock brush up against your folds, and with every stroke of your hips, the friction was shooting an electric buzz through you. "Didn't know you were such a needy slut for me". He purred at you with that deriding look in his eyes, smirking smugly. All you did was hum in return to his taunts.
Wrapping your hands around his neck, you lingered your fingertips along his neckline, gradually pulling his face in for another kiss. Devouring each other's lips once again, Bakugous hands slipped beneath your dress, lifting it to loosely drape around your waist. Your legs fully displayed, the frigid air hurried to leave goosebumps along your skin. Resuming his excursion, his fingers wandered back to where they seized you previously. As he leaned into the makeout, he rested your back against the steering wheel before tearing away from your mouth. Keen set of eyes watching you."Tell me exactly where you want my hands to go, baby. Your lucky I'm willing to take directions". For a moment you realised the exception he was making.
Bakugou was known for listening to no one but himself. So the fact he considered something like this, even if it was during an odd time, spoke volumes. It only stabilised, if not boosted, the feeling that you harboured for Bakugou. Yet there was no time to ponder over his actions. You hesitated to respond at first, slightly embarrassed to provide him with an answer.
"I want you to touch me". You deeply flushed at your reply but Bakugou only squinted at you. "Babygirl, your such a needy bitch but won't even get into specifics. Come on, you can be open with me". His words only strengthened the blush that overlaid your skin to deepen, if that was even possible. Even in your profoundly flustered disposition, you needed him and retaining your mouth shut was not an option.
"Bakugou, you know what I mean. Here". You childishly whine before grabbing hold of his hand, guiding it to your heat. His firm hand was resting on your bound cunt, not making a single move but rather looking at you intently. "Good enough" was his only response.
Swiftly, his slender fingers submerged under the fabric of your underwear, coming in contact with your wetness. The suddenness of his actions provoked a gasp to emit from your mouth, his fingers already exploring you. The feeling of his warmth travelling tenderly up and down your folds, with the occasional attentiveness to your clit made you squirm as you sucked deep breaths in. Your chest came up and down as air raced to pervade you, your moans getting gradually louder as you rubbed and arched against his touch. His attentive touch began centring more on your delicate bud, picking up his pace as he soaked in the sight of you falling apart atop him. Your heavy breaths and moans that filled the air and the way you desperately moved against every circular motion of his finger. Fuck was the sight something he had dreamt of for so long, and it was far better than he imagined. "You fucking like that huh?" he uttered through gritted teeth as his face crept closer to yours, observing the way you tightly squeezed your eyes shut, mouth dropped open.
"Shit, yes. Just like that" your breathy response came out as just above a whisper, too caught up in the pleasure of his touch. And just when you thought it couldn't feel any better, you felt his two fingers slip inside you. Your warm pink walls instantly sucking his fingers in, frantically tightening against them. A lusty moan shot out of your mouth, the overwhelming feeling of him fully submerged within you, pumping in and out. His fingers curled to hit just the right spot before you could fully adjust. The sensation was all too much and you felt the desire consume you. Panting and moaning, you could barely make sense of your surroundings as he didn't hesitate to advance his movements by pumping harder and faster, your wetness trickling down his bronzed palm.
His pace only intensified, his fingers gliding in and out of you, rubbing against your contracting walls that made your stomach burn. Burn in a way that made you almost lose control as it tied knots in your abdomen. Every spot that made your body arch against its will, legs jutting and twitching, he hit it all. And just as you edged nearer to your orgasm, moans building up at the back of your throat, ready for release as your nails dug into Bakugou's forearms. He came to a sudden pause, retreating his fingers, now soaked in your juices. You felt the dissatisfaction of his lack of attention, yearning to be touched again. Thick pants filled the car as Bakugou smirked at you and at the way you couldn't help but grind against him to supply for his loss of attention towards you.
"Princess, you didn't really think you'd get it that easy" he spoke tauntingly, rubbing your thighs as he trailed kisses on your collar bone. He'd wanted to mark up your delicate skin so many times, his presence forever embedded on you. Sinking his teeth on your flesh, he sucked and licked it, earning a soft moan from you against his ear. The tickling sensation of your breath against him accompanied by your lewd noises only hardened his growing erection. The restricting tightness of his trousers becoming infuriating for the boy.
He left mark after mark, immersing in the way you rubbed and groaned into him. "Bakugou... I need you. All of you.". Your words were like music to his ears, a combination of sounds he'd wanted to hear for so long. You begging for him to please you, make you his. It didn't even take him a second thought to know what he wanted to do to you, almost agreeing instantly. "Show me how bad you need me then". The challenging statement made you feel more heated, already in complete aw at the way his lips marked your skin.
You gently pushed him off you, pressing his back into the black leather seat, planting a delicate kiss on his lips before ducking between his legs. The position was cramped, the compact space of being under the steering wheel, legs crossed as you shifted your body further back until you could feel the disengaged pedal of the vehicle.
Bakugou sat with eager eyes on you, waiting for what you'd do next. To be honest, he felt uncomfortable at his lack of control at this very moment, already plotting how he'd regain it once more once he caught onto what your plan was. "Is this your way of proving yourself" he snickered at you, your hands on his belt, the clinking of the metal drowning out his voice. Through the material of his trousers, you could see the outline of his bulge, tight around the fabric restraints.
And just as you went to undo the restraints, unravelling the package that was contained, your head had hit the soft padding of the steering wheel. The sudden beep of the car horn went off, alarming the two of you. "What the fuck," Bakugou spoke up first in confusion. The car had obviously broken down only a few minutes ago yet it had finally decided to cooperate and disturb your guys' self-indulgence.
"Perfect timing" You giggled as you let your hands fall from his belt, slightly disappointed by the interruption. You wanted to continue this fantasy, see where it would take you both but you had other priorities on your mind as well. Like getting to the reunion for starters."Don't look so distressed, baby" Bakugou spoke softly as he lifted your chin, admiring you and the marks he left all over. "We will finish what we started, after all, I've been wanting this for so fucking long" He admitted and you couldn't help but redden at his remark.
You delicately slipped from under the wheel, dragging your dress down to cover your flashed skin. "I'll be looking forward to that then" You fire your own flirt his way, tipping over to leave a gentle peck against his lips before cleaning your lipstick from his face. He responded with a scoff and a rolling of his eyes, diverting his attention to the road to start driving again.
"I would say cover up the hickeys, but I want all those damn extra's to know who you belong to now" He smirked giving you the side-eye. Only then did you notice your wrecked state, desperately trying to fix your appearance in the small overhead mirror.
Bakugou steadily drove to your destination as his large hand rested on your thigh, you both wondering where you'd finish this excursion...
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clarawatson · 3 years
Text
It Only Takes A Taste (2)
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x [Fem]!Reader (GN pronouns, fem coded) Summary: it’s your second time meeting Aaron. He’s still flustered and precious but he (might) manage to give you his number. W/C: 2113 Warnings: none yet! A/N: i haven’t got chapter names yet, just accept they’re all called ‘it only takes a taste’ haha. AO3 tags: @willowrose99 @genevievedarcygranger @maryosprinkle @kleff03 (if you want to get added, lmk!!) Where am I in this series? 01 | 02 | 03 | 04
The next time you meet him, it’s 2am. Rita’s three weeks off her due date. She’s been staying at Joe’s place, with his wife, because the heating’s gone out in her apartment and her super is a foul man. If you were inclined to murder, he’d be first on your list. Right now she’s out the back, trying to wipe chocolate sauce off her uniform. The baby’s been kicking for hours and knocks things around the counter sometimes. At least it isn’t throwing her ribs out this time. 
There’s a couple of teens drinking milkshakes in the window, they’ve snuck out after bedtime and they’re giggling to each other about how bad they are. You’ve seen their parents drive by twice (they’re regulars after school) but no one’s come in yet.
The agent drives by, and then does a u-turn and comes back. It was literally a double take, no matter how you look at it. You clearly saw him slow down and try to look in the window as he tried (desperately tried) to stay on the main road. And then he’d turned around and come back. 
He’s even prettier dry than he was wet. (Your mind spirals to where that could have gone, which is not something you expected from a 2am shift). He’s loosened his tie and his hair is falling free of the gel. He looks less tired, and yet more tired. A different kind of tired. This one would be fixed by a good night’s sleep.
“Hi,” he says with a little quirk in his lip that could be him fighting off a smile.
“Hi,” you return with a full smile. He sits in front of you and steeples his fingers under his chin.
“I’m Aaron.”
A fortnight you’ve been wondering his name and he just swans in and hands it to you on a silver platter. Bless him and his beautiful brown eyes.
“Y/n,” you introduce. “And what can I get for you tonight, Aaron?”
“Maybe not a coffee.” He doesn’t break eye contact with you. He has such a cheeky smile you almost want to reach over and wipe it off his lips. “A hot chocolate would do. I’ve got to sleep enough to take my kid to school.”
“Have here?” Your hands hover over the in-cups and the out-cups. He taps his finger against his chin.
“In.” He folds his hands and you notice he’s not wearing a wedding ring. Kid, no wedding ring, weird hours. Could be a score, could be a serial killer. Could be both! No. Not both. There will be no fraternising with serial killers. Not if you respect your life. 
Would it be weird to ask him where he works? If he works for one of the alphabet soups, will it get you in trouble? Maybe. People don’t like you poking around when sensitive information could be involved. You still ask anyway while the coffee machine has it’s little dummy spit at having to work at two in the morning.
“Quantico,” he says. He probably saw you trying to figure out how to ask. And that’s really all he can say. Maybe. He waggles his eyebrows just a little and you think he’s maybe a little too cheeky for this early in the morning. If Rita was working she’d be swooning all over him. 
“That’s very prestigious, but, sir, I don’t think you have the security clearance to be in this diner if you only work at Quantico. We deal with Area 51.”
“Long commute,” he teases.
You raise an eyebrow. “That’s what the uneducated think. I can break a few rules as long as you don’t start asking questions. No asking about where they keep the aliens, okay?”
“Never.” He wraps his hands around the mug as you push it to him, absorbing it’s warmth. 
“Did your son like the cookie?” you ask. Is it weird to remember he has a son after one interaction? Or the cookie? But he smiles. It’s okay. 
“He’s actually in love with it. He’s not stopped talking about it. I think my sister-in-law might kill me.”
“Joe’s magic in the kitchen. I’ll save a couple of cookies if you know when you’ll be in next?”
Is that too forward? Maybe. He pulls out a little day book and places it before him.
“Is Thursday too soon?”
“No,” you say, shaking your head. You make a note to tell Joe you’re working on Thursday. “Sounds like a good day to collect a cookie.”
“If someone could cut this monster out of me, that would be GREAT!” Rita yells in the kitchen. Her voice is still far too loud out here. Aaron finally drops his gaze from yours, grinning into his hot chocolate.
“Shit, babes, I’m serious. I’ll got for a pocket knife at this point. I’m hot, and it’s not hot, I have to piss every four minutes, I can’t even sit in a car properly and taking the MET is stupid because I still have to pee!” She stops up short, seeing Aaron, and blinks as if she could erase her last comment. “Hi, sorry, you’re rain boy.”
“I prefer Raymond.”
There’s a beat where you try to figure out what the fuck he’s talking about. The cheeky demeanor falls from his face.
“Rain Man! Tom Cruise! Smile." Aaron has no option but to smile at Rita. Too late you realise she's checking the alignment of his teeth to actually equate him to Tom Cruise. "Raymond, for sure. Shit, that’s funny,” Rita laughs, groans, and turns on her heel out the back. She needed to pee again. Aaron smiles just a little.
“Want some pie?” you offer. There’s still a bit left. Joe won’t be in for another hour or so, but there’s some in the oven to take out just before three. Aaron nods.
“Yeah, please.” He puts too much money in the tip jar again. Hands you the exact money for the pie. Had he looked at the menu online? Maybe he had. You take a slice out for him, then a slice for yourself. No harm in that. The whipped cream goes on his like a mountain. You put a bit beside your own pie slice, but Aaron’s grinning. 
He looks like he may do something childish. He doesn't, though, as you join him in pie eating. The teenagers start giggling about something they're watching on their phone. 
Rita comes back looking more tired than usual. Her whole body looks tired as she gets her purse and rubs her belly.
"Say bye to Rita," she says without much playful effort.
"Bye Rita," you return and kiss her cheek as she lifts it to you.
"And to Baby." 
"Bye Baby, be good for Mom." 
Rita snorts. Joe gives you a list of things to do while he's taking Rita home. Apparently Lola's coming in to replace Rita, but that's only going to be proven by Lola actually turning up. Aaron raises his hand around his fork and waves. Rita waves back and waddles out the back.
"Is she okay?" you ask Joe, and he nods. He waves goodbye to Aaron, even though he hasn't introduced himself yet. Aaron waves too. 
"That's a lot to worry about," Aaron says. You shrug and reach over the counter to Aaron's plate, taking some of his cream. He laughs and puts his arm around it to protect it.
"They're family. Less worrying, more caring." 
He nods as if he understands. "Might use that sometime."
"You're welcome to." 
He gives you a smile that only uses half his face. Gosh, he's cute. But it’s nothing more than fleeting night time visits, right? Okay, maybe not, he clearly turned his car around because he saw you working. You catch him staring at your left hand, studying it intently. No one wore rings at the diner, just because everything got stuck underneath them and there was nothing worse than having a maple syrup adorned wedding ring.
“There’s no one,” you tell him, which flusters him entirely. He smiles and looks down at his pie, blush creeping over his face. “Weird hours in a place like this? Hardly a brilliant base to build a relationship on.” 
“Yeah.” He might want to say more, but he’s smiling at you again. “Weird hours, strange place, know that story.”
“Sucks, hey?”
“Oh yeah.” 
The teens from the window go home when they’ve finished their milkshake. You tell them to get home safe and pray their parents don’t come in asking where they went. Aaron scraps his plate, scooping up the cream and pie soupy mess. 
“I have to go,” Aaron sighs. He runs his hand through his hair and his fingers get stuck in the left-over-gelly-mess. You smother a giggle as he rolls his eyes and pulls his hand out with tiny little crack-crack-crack’s. It sounds painful.
“I’m going to shower and get this shit out of my hair.”
“It’ll look nice without it in.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh yeah.”
He blushes, returning to the man you’d met coming out of the rain. 
“Well I’ll remember that for next time.” 
Your heart jumps. Next time! There’ll be a next! Time!
“Listen, hey, um,” Aaron says as he stuffs a couple of bills into the tip jar. “Here--” he stops again, then shakes his head like he’s giving himself a vote of confidence. “This is…” he stops again and licks his lips, then pulls out a business card from his suit pocket. He scratches his number onto the blank back, and then Aaron at the top. “My number,” he managed to finish.
“Thanks,” you respond before wanting to smack your head onto the counter. Thanks?!?! There are a hundred better things to say. “W-when do you want me?” When do you want me??? “To be here, on Thursday, for the cookies.”
Aaron’s gone red. Your face is hot. This is a disaster. There’s no fixing this disaster. There’s no fixing it at all. But Aaron smiles all the same.
“U-uh. I’ll text you?” he looks so flustered. 
“You haven’t got my number,” you giggle, because he hasn’t. You’ve got his. He looks like a tomato as he blushes even more. “How about I text you my number, and you tell me when you’re free, and I’ll make sure there’s three cookies set aside for you that no one else buys.”
“Three?”
“You, your son, your sister-in-law.”
“I could really use you at work,” he laughs and… sits back down. Four seconds ago he was in such a rush to leave, and now he’s looking at you like you’re his whole world. He’s so precious, you wish you could just put him in a jar and protect all that goodness from the evils of the world. Surely he couldn’t have met too many of them just yet? He’s still got a smile that could brighten up the night sky, people who’ve seen all the hurt and pain in the world can’t smile like that.
“I don’t think I’m clever enough to get into Quantico. Unless they like people serving them coffees,” you smile gently and he tilts his head while looking at you. A curious puppy. You want to lean over and squish his cheeks for thinking you could be anything more than a server at a roadside diner.
“You’d brighten the place up.”
“You brighten my place up.” Corny, highschool grade flirting. He smiles all the same. Can he smile any more than that? Probably not, he might combust and become a star. “You know you don’t have to keep putting money into the tip jar, right? Not the amount you do. Most people just put in their change.”
He looks at the tip jar. “It’s for Rita’s hospital bills, right? It’s why she won’t look at it, because she’s embarrassed, but also why you and Joe count every bill that goes in it.”
“Alright, Sherlock Holmes.”
“It says on the jar,” he jokes, and points to the permanent marker that’s bled through the otherside of the tip jar. You laugh. Aaron laughs.
“I do have to go.”
“Go,” you laugh. “I’ll text you when I’m off my shift.”
He nods, looking a little sad to go, but also a little excited. He must really love his son.
“I’ll see you on Thursday, Y/n.”
“I’ll see you on Thursday, Aaron,” you return and watch him leave. Shit, he’s even cuter leaving. He even waves from his car before he drives off. You’re close to squealing when the bikie gang pull up, flooding the carpark, then all come in ready for their coffee. At least Aaron’s hot chocolate warmed up the machine for them.
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tefilovesreading · 4 years
Text
It’s a match! Part. 2
Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Fem!Reader
Word count: 2k
Warnings: None, language but that’s it.
A/N: LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANNA BE TAGGED. 
Edited by: @theamazingtomholland​ 
MASTERLIST // PART 1 // PART 3
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“What do you mean he sent you a good morning text?” Jo asked, almost choking on her toast.
“He asked for my number last night,” Y/N explained, her hands shaking while she tried to unlock her phone, “and when I woke up, I had a text from him saying good morning and wishing me a good day.”
“Damn the boy is a keeper,” her friend whistled and winked at her after she read the message.
“He told me he wanted to FaceTime.”
She sat on the stool next to where her best friend was sitting and rested her chin on her hand. The butterflies in her stomach felt more like hundreds of bees buzzing fiercely in there. 
“And you?” Jo questioned with an intrigued look on her face, “do you wanna do it?”
“I think so,” Y/N answered, biting the inside of her cheek, “he’s really cute, and I had fun texting last night.”
“Well that’s a new one,” the ginger girl joked. All their friends knew how much Y/N hated texting, leaving messages on read for days, or taking absolutely forever to respond. She always felt weird texting, not knowing very well how to keep the conversation going over text.
“Tell him you have thirty minutes, and then you have to go do something else,” Y/N furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and Jo rolled her eyes, “that way if you don’t feel comfortable you have an easy exit.”
“And what if I’m enjoying it?” Jo looked at her as if she was trying to explain how the water cycle worked to a kid, “Jo I’m being serious!”
“In that case, my love, you hang up and call him again after you tell me everything.”
“Who said I was gonna tell you anything, uh?” Y/N smirked and blew her a kiss after her friend gave her an offended look.
“Whatever, Y/N,” Jo flipped her off, “just tell him your professor was sick or something like that.”
“You’re a lifesaver, did I tell you that?” Y/N kissed her friend’s cheek and then jumped off, “I’m gonna go take a shower, see you later.”
“See you later, babe,” Jo said, “don’t forget to eat!”
“I won’t!” Y/N yelled, on her way to the bathroom they shared.
Y/N: Good morning! Hope you have a great day too
She smiled satisfied at her reply and hit the send button.
Y/N couldn’t remember the last time she felt so giddy about a guy, it was exciting, to say the least. Charlie seemed like an easygoing person and really easy to talk to. Sure she was nervous talking to him, but who wouldn’t? The guy was super cute and so nice to her, she already knew she’d be crushing hard.
Thirty minutes later, she was on her way to class with time to go to her favorite coffee shop and have a quick breakfast.
Charlie: Didn’t think you’d answer me so early hahaha Y/N: I have a class in like 20 minutes, wouldn’t have woken up this early if i didn’t have class lol Charlie: So you’re not a morning person Y/N: Oh no, absolutely not!!
She smiled at the boy in the cashier and laughed softly when he asked her if she was ordering the same thing she always did.
“Oh, can you add a brownie please?” Y/N asked politely, while she looked for her card on her bag. After paying for her food, she went to one of the tables in the back.
Charlie: Noted! I swear i try to not wake up early but i can’t Y/N: I bet you’re the kind of friend that wakes everyone up with a lot of noise  Charlie: How did ya know that hahahaha Y/N: I was just guessing, but you do seem like a loud person Charlie: I am, i won’t try to deny it Charlie: What about you??  Y/N: Mmm Y/N: It depends Y/N: But my laugh is extra loud, so I can’t say I’m a quiet girl
“Vanilla latte!” Y/N put away her phone and stood up to get her order.
“Thanks, Dylan,” she thanked the boy and grabbed a few napkins before making her way back to her table. 
Charlie: I bet your laugh is really cute
Her cheeks were burning after that message, and it took her a couple of minutes to tame the butterflies in her stomach before she was able to type a response. Because as much as she wanted to laugh it off and change the topic, she knew he was flirting with her and if she didn’t flirt back, their conversation was basically dead.
Y/N: Guess you’ll have to find out yourself ;).
That was a nice reply, right? She screenshotted their chat and sent it to Jo. If anyone knew how to flirt while texting, it was her best friend.
Y/N: How does it look? Is it too much?? Too little?? Y/N: H E L P
Jo’s response was quick as always. One of the many reasons she loved her.
Jo: Girl it’s fine Jo: Stop worrying about it Jo: It’s mysterious and a good way to tell him you wanna FaceTime Y/N: Ok ok thank you love ya Jo: Love you more  
Checking the hour on her phone, Y/N finished her bagel and gathered her stuff. She waved Dylan goodbye and left the coffee shop. She spent more time than she expected to in there and if she didn’t hurry she’d be late for class. 
It was times like this one that made her regret not knowing how to drive because even if all her classmates liked the Lyft program they had for free, she still felt unsafe getting in the car without a friend.
Back in the day, when she was still dating Lance, he’d made sure to call her and talk to her during the whole ride to wherever Y/N needed to go just to make her feel safe. After all, he was never a bad boyfriend, their paths just went in different ways and they both wanted different things in life.
Charlie: Yeah i guess Charlie: What if i call you later when you’re done with your classes??Charlie: No pressure
She could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks for the second time in less than an hour and had to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling. 
Y/N: Sure, i’ll let you know once i’m done Y/N: But i have to say bye for now Y/N: Gotta pay attention haha Charlie: Get that degree! Charlie: Talk to you later!
Focusing on whatever her professor was saying was a hard task, she just wanted to pull her phone out and text Charlie, see what he was up to and get home as soon as possible, so they could FaceTime.
Sitting on the edge of her seat, she couldn’t help but bounce her leg to relieve the eagerness rushing through her veins. She still had fifteen minutes left, and then she’d be sprinting out of the classroom and going back to her apartment.
“Dude, do you gotta use the bathroom or what?” Sadie, the girl she always sat with during class, whispered through gritted teeth.
“Sorry,” she apologized, crossing her legs to stop herself from bouncing her leg. Although the new position didn’t stop her from moving her foot. 
“What’s up with you?” Sadie snorted once she realized Y/N couldn’t sit still.
“Nothing,” she replied quickly, scribbling on her notebook the pages she needed to read for the next class, “I just wanna go home.”
“But you have never been this eager to leave this class,” the girl commented without looking at her, too focused on taking notes, “you love this class.”
“I don’t know,” Y/N let out a sigh and checked the hour on her watch, “I just don’t feel like sitting here right now.”
Her classmate didn’t make another comment about her eagerness to leave the classroom, she just nodded her head as if she was telling her she understood.
“I think that’s all for today, guys,” the professor mentioned, leaning on the desk, “have a good day, and don’t forget to read the articles I mentioned.”
Y/N hurried to gather her things and waved Sadie goodbye before walking as fast as she could to the door. She needed to leave before the halls flooded with students. Y/N considered taking the stairs instead of the elevator but knowing how clumsy she could be, she opted for the latter. Falling down the stairs wasn’t on her plans.
Twenty minutes and a mile later, she dropped her keys on the bowl next to the door of her apartment and kicked off her shoes. She checked her out in the full-length mirror Jo had in their living room and shrugged. Charlie knew she was a college student, and it wouldn’t be weird to see her wearing a hoodie with her college’s logo, also, she was comfy and didn’t want to change into something else. 
She fixed her hair and made sure she didn’t have smudged mascara under her eyes and then made herself comfortable on the couch.
Y/N: Just made it home
Y/N: That was one hell of a long class haha
She bit her nails, the nervousness kicking in while she waited for a response from Charlie. Maybe he was busy now that she wasn’t. God if their schedules didn’t let them at least FaceTime, she felt like she’d start crying and delete the app. It wasn’t like she was talking to other guys though.
Charlie: Finally!! Charlie: Wanna FaceTime?? Or are you tired?
“Fuck no,” she whispered to herself before she started writing her reply.
Y/N: Nah! Let's FaceTime
Her heart started pounding on her chest when the video call entered and the phone started vibrating in her hand.  
“Shit, shit, shit,” she cursed before putting a smile on her face and answering the call. “Hey!”
Holy shit. His pictures didn’t make him justice. 
“How you doin’?” Charlie said and her cheeks blushed.
“It’s that a Friends reference?” she asked trying to hide her smile.
“I swear I don’t mean it in that way,” he laughed, and the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled made her heart flutter. “But seriously, how was your day?”
“It was good even though I hate waking up early,” the way Charlie was looking at her with so much attention, even if it was through a screen it  made her feel so confident, “I had breakfast at this little coffee shop near my apartment and then went to class.”
“But that sounds like a nice morning,” Charlie mentioned, his sweet smile never leaving his face.
“What were you up to anyway?”
“Not much actually,” he shrugged and the gesture made him look young, “I went for a run, then I had to film some tapes for a few auditions, and now I’m chilling.”
“You’re an actor,” Y/N pointed out, not even surprised about the new information he just revealed. It was Los Angeles after all.
“I am,” he smiled, and she swore she could see a pink tint on his cheeks, “I started back in Canada when I was about fourteen or fifteen.”
“Any chances I’ve watched it?” Charlie scrunched his nose and shook his head.
“Maybe, if you are into foreign films,” Y/N tilted her head confused at his answer, “It’s in French.”
“You learned how to speak in French for the movie?” Y/N furrowed her eyebrows together when Charlie started laughing.
“I grew up speaking French and English,” he explained with a soft smile, “I’m French Canadian.”
“That makes a lot more sense now,” she laughed off her embarrassment, “I’m gonna blame the fact that I woke up early today. I’m not this dumb, I swear.”
“Don’t worry,” he said and the smile faded just enough for her to notice his intense stare, “I thought it was cute.”
She bit her lip at his words and tried to look away from the screen, but Charlie’s eye contact felt as if he was looking right into her soul and she couldn’t break that connection even if she wanted to. And she definitely didn’t want to do that.
tagged: @chevyimpala00067​ @samanthawilliamspring​ @searchingunderthestars @luke-patt @moneybagmgk @angisbr @happinessinthedarkesttimes @knitsessed @cordeliascrown @crybabyddl @phantompogues @the-romanian-is-bae @doaspeggy-says
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tommyspeakycap · 3 years
Text
New Beginnings
Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader
Word count - 2976
Summary - After the battle in Manhattan, a man who hates the idea of a doctor definitely needs one. A friend of Pepper Potts' lends a hand and consequently changes Steve's long-lived disposition for getting medical help.
a/n - set after the battle of New York in the avengers
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Since Steve had woken up, or rather been woken up after he was found in the ice after 70 years, he had not once visited the doctor other than those at S.H.I.E.L.D when they had forced him to. For one, he didn’t ever get sick now and reason two would be that he just hates the concept. He spent a great deal of his time in doctors offices and speaking to specialists diagnosing him with all forms of new medical conditions from when he was in a child to before he was given the serum. It wasn’t somewhere he wanted to go now and those days weren’t exactly the ones he liked to remember even if he was the absolute picture of health now.
That didn’t so much apply however when he, Tony, Thor, Natasha, Bruce and Clint were finally able to stop after fighting for hours against unrelenting waves of aliens trying to take New York. They were all battered and bruised to some degree, some arguably more than others.
Steve looks around with a pounding heart. It never gets easier to think about the losses that are likely to mount up after a battle, the buildings that fell and the people who stood unable in the face of the large aliens with huge powerful guns. It only adds to the hurt that stems from seeing the city he loves reduced half to rubble with skyscrapers crumbled to the ground, flaming, flipped cars scattering the road and entire streets all but destroyed.
Before he does anything else, Steve wants to go down to the subway that he insisted the police put people in to ensure they all get out safely before he heads to meet up with the rest of the team back at Stark tower. There are more ambulances lining what’s left of the roads than he can even begin to count and he’s extremely glad they hadn’t destroyed any hospitals because they were going to need every bed that they had. He helped some people up out of the Subway with the officers and some people thanked him, some people gawked at him and some seemed too much in shock to even notice he was there. Steve stood just watching for longer than he would care to admit.
He supposes he would say he’s just taking everything in. It feels as though the world is quite the same as to when he lived in it at first. People still come together when they need to and there are still bad people who want to stand above the rest.
As his feet carry him back over crunching rubble in the direction of Stark tower to meet up with the rest, Steve can’t help but think about how he wishes his best friend could be with him for this battle. There wasn’t anyone Steve preferred to have on his side and he did tremendously miss his friend.
“No no no!” Steve hears yelling above the rest of the commotion,a noise which immediately diverts his train of thought. He turns his head to see if he can catch a glimpse of what was going on to see if there was anything he could do to help. “He has to go first, he’s got an ICH with a blown pupil. He won’t make it halfway to the hospital if he has to wait another twenty minutes!” Steve rounds the corner at a slow jog. He’s met with a woman with her hair tied back tightly out of her face, which was smeared with dirt and dust and it looked as though she had been climbing amongst the rubble to help recover the last of the people from that building. “Look ma’am, we have a kid in there.” The EMT tries to explain, but you just give him an incredulous look, “With a closed tib-fib fracture, he’ll live! This guy is bleeding into his brain, do you have one of those-” You lean closer to him, squinting your eyes and sweeping dust off of his badge, “Jack. Do you have a brain, Jack?” The EMT in front of you opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water. “Yes ma’am.” He stutters. “Good,” you snip, “Then get the kid in a wheelchair for the next ambulance and bluelight this guy to the nearest hospital, now!”
The EMT scrambles to do as told and you push your hair back again with a heavy sigh as you walk away the second they get him in the stretcher and into the ambulance. Steve smiles slightly to himself. There’s nothing quite like a powerful woman in his eyes and no force like an angry one. He’d hate to be on that woman’s bad side and he knows now that he was wrong to think his help would be needed there. The super soldier simply walks away again with his shield held tightly in his hand. He bids a wordless respect to the woman who rolls up her sleeves again and cups her hands over her mouth, shouting out for anyone who might need help from her clearly medically experienced hands.
“Dear God, look at you lot!” Pepper exclaims as they walk in, immediately rushing to hug Tony tightly. “You all need to get checked over medically. Like now.” She says firmly, but each one shakes their heads. “The hospitals will be busy enough,” Bruce says, “I just saw a woman fighting for an ambulance. We’ll heal.” Steve agrees, folding his painful arms. “They’re right.” Tony nods. Pepper shakes her head, “I knew you’d say that, which is why Fury and I had a medical floor set up. There’s nurses there to patch you guys up and a doctor there if anybody needs one. All of you, go. Now.” Most want to protest, but opt not to at her stern words and instead follow the nurse who had come to greet them.
All but Steve.
“I’ll be fine.” He states, shaking his head and turning away. “Excuse me,” Pepper calls out to him, “Please, Steve. You really need to get seen.” She insists, but he keeps walking.
“(y/n), oh my god!” Pepper sighs heavily in relief, rushing towards you the second you walk out the revolving door that only had one glass panel left in it. “Thank God you're safe. This is one of them I was going to ask you to take a look at.” Once she releases you from the tight hug, she points after Steve who was still limping away towards the stairs. “Can’t get him to go to the med floor though.” She mutters to you beneath her breath. You shoot her a smile that says she needn't worry.
“Oi!” You call out, barely eliciting a turn of the head from the man in the blue suit. “Hey you!” You try again, you merely get him to stop walking. “Me?” He says, but still didn’t turn to look at you. He was trying to place where he had heard your voice, but his head was hurting too much to put a lot of thought into it. “Yeah, you. You better get America’s ass right back over here and march it right down to that med floor.”
Your tone makes him turn around immediately, his eyebrows slightly furrowed for a moment before he realised it hurt to do that too. He fought back a smile over those pink lips. “I thought I knew your voice.”
His response prompts your eyebrows to shoot up as you eyed him and then Pepper in confusion. “Have we met?” You ask, tilting your head slightly to the side. Steve shakes his head, “Oh no, sorry. I just saw you a while ago yelling at a paramedic over an ambulance about an ICH, whatever that means.” The blonde shrugs, offering you a slight smile. You chuckle at his words and shake your head. “Well then I’m sure you’ll do as I tell you. Save me doing anymore yelling today?”
Steve doesn’t have much more fight left in him for today and he would be lying if he said his body wasn’t aching. He could probably do with some pain killers and the cut on his arm would likely hurt a lot less, as well as be quicker to heal if he were to get it stitched up. He doesn’t say anything, but he does sigh and decides to follow you through the lobby and down a flight of stairs to the newly designated medical floor.
“Nice of you to join us, Cap!” Tony jests out, “And (y/n)!” He cheers. You only flip him off in response with a roll of your eyes as you lead the tall man behind you into one of the private rooms filled with medical supplies.
“Sit on the bed there.” You instruct, walking over to wash your hands, arms and face before you do anything else.
“I don’t think I need-”
“On the bed, Captain.”
“Okay. Sorry.”
You nod your head and turn to smile at him softly. Your smile is beautiful. It actually alleviates a little of his pain just to see it, and he truly is surprised by the softness and gentility of it in comparison to the attitude he had thus far witnessed from you in the short time he’s known you.
He groans and the medical bed creaks a little when he climbs on as you pull the latex gloves over your hands. He watches you very tentatively, attempting to eye the things that you gather from various boxes around the room and place onto the wheeled table. “Sorry for yelling at you earlier.”
Your softer voice makes him smile slightly again. “It’s alright,” Steve brushed off with a shrug, shifting himself so he could strip his suit off like you had told him to do just before you entered the room. He kind of awkwardly places the material of the suit over his boxers and the tops of his thighs. He doesn’t exactly want to sit basically naked in front of a woman he didn’t even really know. He still had a lot of his 1940’s mannerisms written into his behaviour. You turn back around to face him and don’t seem to take much notice of his huge, bare torso on the medical bed in front of you. Instead, your eyes scan his body for where to start on his injuries.
It seems as though you opt for cleaning his face first, which makes him feel slightly embarrassed to just sit and let you do it. You use a cloth and hot water for the dried blood, followed by an alcohol cloth that stings a surprising amount. You only place a steri strip over the gash on his forehead and then turn to the open cut on his shoulder. He knows that it’ll heal in less than 24 hours and he won’t have so much as a mark in its place. But it’ll heal a hell of a lot quicker if it’s closed and clean, so he allows you to begin working on it.
He hisses when you do, and you stop for a moment.
“Intracranial hemorrhage.” You say seemingly out of the blue. “What?” Steve asks, the pain in his arm dissipating. “Intracranial hemorrhage. ICH. What the guy you saw me fighting for the ambulance had. He got stuck under some rubble and it caused his brain to bleed. That increases the pressure in his head until you drill a hole to release it. Sometimes you have to take out a whole section of the skull and leave the head open until the swelling goes down around the brain. It’s super interesting.” Steve is entranced by your jabbering on, his eyes literally glued onto you as you work. Hands tentatively maneuvering a needle through his skin as gently as you can to pull the two separate sides back together.
You flick your eyes up to him to see the grin and his blue eyes shining in anticipation for your next words. “He was pretty bad considering the circumstances. A blown pupil- dilated pupil- is usually a huge warning sign that he needs treatment like, right away. He wasn’t responding to much physical stimuli, but you'd be amazed by the recovery that a lot of people with that type of injury can make within literally just a few days of the surgery. The brain is pretty cool.” You continue on. Steve doesn’t want you to ever stop talking. Your voice has apparently turned off all of the pain receptors in his body as he watches the focus pull your brows together ever so slightly and part your lips as you tie the knot at the end of his arm stitches, carefully wiping over it and placing a white gauze dressing over the wound. “Those should dissolve in your skin even if you are a super-healer or whatever.” You turn your attention next to a cut just above his kneecap.
“Sorry for the rambling, wild day. I’ll stitch that one up too then you should be good to get back to your superhero post-battle business.” Your tease makes him chuckle slightly as he watches you roll the wheeled table and your stool round to the other side of him to wipe down his knee before you start to stitch it. Steve had a tough day too, and he hadn’t yet learned how he would cope with those in modern day, but he had a hunch that listening to you might be the key. However, it comes across to him like your way was talking about things that weren’t as scary as the fact that aliens descended from the sky and destroyed half of New York City. “What about a closed TibFib then?” Steve asks softly with kindness swimming around in those sky blue eyes. “Tell me about that?”
After a further half hour finishing his stitching, cleaning him up properly and getting him some fresh clothes, you found yourself surprisingly sad to be leaving the company of the kind, attractive, super soldier you had newly become acquainted with. He seemed pretty solemn about it too, but you couldn’t tell if he was just exhausted from his day's worth of fighting. You had gotten to know each other through the short time you got to spend with him, and he was glad he had at first refused any form of medical treatment for if he hadn’t he probably wouldn’t have had you as his caregiver.
“Thank you for...all this.” He gestures to himself, referring to the stitches, his newly clean skin and clothes. “And for talking to me. It really means a lot.” Steve admits, his voice a little shy with the lightest dusting of pink flushing his cheeks. You smile without thought for the first time that day. “It’s a pleasure. Thank you for listening to me, and for not calling me a bossy bitch.” You breathe a chuckle of laughter as you turn your back to him to empty all the rubbish into the bin. So you don’t see the anger that passes through his eyes at the thought of someone ever calling you that, or the tilt of his head in irritation. You were so strong and a true powerhouse of a woman in his eyes. Clearly incredibly smart. He was pretty much smitten with you already.
“That would be incredibly rude.” Steve states firmly, “I just think you’re a very smart and a very beautiful woman. And you are incredible. Saved a lot of people today down in the rubble.”
You turn back around to see him, standing now much closer to you. “Says you, Mr Alien-slayer.” You grin back up at him. He isn’t the kind to go in for a kiss on the first date, never mind the first time ever meeting a woman, so he takes a gentle step back much to your disappointment. “I believe you called me America’s ass, earlier today.”  He corrects lightly and you turn your eyes to the ground as your face flushes red with a giggle of embarrassment as he laughs with you. “Sorry about that, Steve.”
That was actually the first time you had said his name and God he loved how it sounded leaving your pretty lips. “It’s okay. Kinda liked it, suits me don’t you think?” He turns side on and twists his back to look down at his ass dramatically and you throw your head back laughing. It’s such music to his ears and he’s yet to hear another sound since he woke that brings such a great amount of joy and warmth straight to his heart.
“Well,” you hum softly as you pull out a piece of paper and scrawl some writing down on it with a pen from your scrubs breast pocket, “If America’s ass ever finds himself in need of a stitch up or a chat, anything really, then this is where to find me.” You tuck the little bit of ripped paper into his large hand and gently peck his cheek before opening the door and walking off through the medical floor. He looked down at that little bit of paper, reading over some numbers and your name.
“(y/n),” he says softly to himself, subconsciously smiling at the way your name feels so beautiful on his lips. “What you got there, Cap?” Natasha asks as she leans herself on the doorframe of the room he stands frozen in. Steve looks up at her in surprise, “Uh, nothing much.” He diffuses, shrugging his shoulders as he takes one more glance down at the paper. “You sure?” She presses. “Yeah.” He assures. She turns to walk away just as realisation hits him. “Oh wait,” he calls after her, a shy smile on his lips.
“You know anywhere I could get a phone?”
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honey-hippie-harper · 3 years
Text
In-Laws Being In-Laws (Re-upload)
 Hiii!
So, this is basically an old fic, which I deleted from my other account ( @dawniebb ) and was requested to be uploaded again.
This feels like a lifetime ago afgshjka, but I remember it was written for a Renegades content swap event, and it was for @healing-winston-pratt (hello, wifey!). The prompt was, basically, Nova and one of the Renegays being in-laws, and it was super fun to write! <3
If anyone’s reading this: Hi, you’re a beautiful human being, and I love you <3
In-Laws Being In-Laws
Dear Dread Warden,
I am not quite sure you will get this message because it is been a while since I last used my communicator but, in case you do: I  hope you are having a nice morning. 
The reason I am writing you this is that, as you must already be aware, right now Sketch and his teammates are taking part in the Annual Renegade Convention as special guests to be awarded for their heroic participation in the Second Battle for Gatlon. Hence, they are out of town. Due to my temporary resignation from the team, I declined the offer to attend the event and, for instance, to receive an award. This means that, unlike theirs, my routine remains the same as usual.
Unfortunately, I must see my therapist for my weekly appointment in two hours, and after that I will have to go to the supermarket to pick up some groceries and essential items. Under normal circumstances, given the nature of my relationship with Sketch, he would have driven me to the supermarket and then back to my apartment, as it happens to be located sort of far from the store and it could be pretty difficult for me to walk while carrying all those bags. However, as mentioned before, these are not normal circumstances and Sketch is not currently available.
I reach out to you with no intention to cause trouble; for instance, if I happen to be asking too much or disrupting your schedule (As I am conscious you are a busy person) and you consider you will not be able to help me, I assure you I completely understand. But: Could you pick me up from my therapist's office and take me to the supermarket afterwards?
I apologize for the inconvenience and I promise I will make sure this does not happen again. In addition, I also apologize for the alliteration in the greeting at the beginning of this message. I did not know whether you wanted to be acknowledged by your real name or your alias.
Sincerely,
Insomnia.
-.-
Hi, Insomnia!!!
So nice to see you!... Or should I say read you! Ha! It's been so long, it almost feels like an eternity! I hope therapy is going great! (We're all really proud of you!)
It doesn't bother me at all, sweetheart; of course I'll help you with that. Could you share the location of your therapist's office, please?
Oh, and also: What time do you want me to be there? (Not that I have anything to do today, I just want to be on time).  
I'm excited to see you! Can I take you to eat something afterwards? How does that sound?
Take care!
(Agh. I forgot these things don't actually allow you to write your real  name).
-S i m o n.
(Better).
-.-
He spotted Nova way before parking. She was sitting on a bench outside the building, staring anxiously at her phone. The body language of a nervous person.
Simon stopped the car right in front of where she was, and when she realized he was already here, Nova jumped out of her seat as if it had burned her skin, before jogging in an awkward manner towards the car.
Once she was inside, Simon couldn't help but feel a twinge in his stomach. He wasn't lying when he told her he was excited to see her. In fact, he was more than excited, and he had to hold himself back pretty hard to avoid hugging her, because it was evident she didn't want to be hugged right now, for she just directed a tiny smile at him and said:
"Hi."
She was the same Nova he had met some time ago, but at the same time she was different; she was wearing sneakers, skinny jeans and a basic white v-neck shirt; her hair was a little longer, too, to the point she could tie it in a cute little ponytail; Simon could tell she wasn’t wearing any makeup, but still her face looked healthier than before; less tired, with smaller under-eye dark circles and lips covered in chapstick. Finally.
She looked alive. More than before.
“Hi.” He finally responded.
Watching people get better was always satisfactory, but watching Nova get better was different. He had grown to appreciate her, since the very first moment he saw her with Adrian; since the very first moment he spoke to her and saw nothing but utter heartbreak in her eyes. Nova was hurting, and any sensitive person would’ve noticed that. So, watching her get better was a touching experience for him.
“You look so…”
Nova interrupted him almost immediately.
“I know. I...I barely had time to fix my hair. Gosh. It’s so uncomfortable and I want to cut it but I haven’t had time. I…”
“Oh, no, no, no! Your hair looks gorgeous! “ He chuckled, although he was confused by her reaction. “I was gonna say you look really good. Really, really good. The ponytail looks great on you.”
Nova gulped as she adjusted said ponytail.
“Oh.” She muttered in a hoarse voice. “...Well...Thank you. I thought…”
“No, no.” Simon waved his hand. “You look great. How.... how are you?”
She seemed to be processing the question, even though it was not that difficult.
“I’m…” Nova cleared her throat. “I’m doing great. How are you? How’s ...life going?”
“Absolutely great!” Simon smiled, clapping his hands together. “Things at home are great. You know, Hugh’s not currently here due to the Annual Renegade Convention. Adrian’s not here either (for sure, you already know about that) and Max…”
“Max went too, yeah.” Nova smiled. Her eyes seemed to brighten to the mention of Max’s name. Adrian had mentioned this fact about her a couple of times: Nova was fond of children. And even if she wasn’t, she had a tendency to protect and care about them. Since she had this type of strong personality, Hugh refused to recognize that as a truth, but Simon had no trouble believing it.
It was adorable.
“He called me when he got the invitation. He was eager to go.” She continued. “Which doesn’t surprise me. I...It’s his first time travelling, right?”
“Oh, yeah.” Responded Simon. “We’re planning to go on vacation this year. Because, you know, the convention’s being held not too far away from Gatlon and sadly he’s probably gonna get bored.”
“Bored?” Nova shifted herself in the seat, awkwardly. “Why?”
“Well...those conventions are...well, conventions.” Simon shrugged, smiling at her. “There are a lot of speeches, one after the other and, sure, the guests that represent Gatlon can skip some of them, but others are mandatory and they’re like 2 hours long and it’s so boring and…”
Nova hissed, grimacing, to which Simon nodded in agreement.
“I’m glad I didn’t have to go.” He admitted. “Though I do wanted to be there when Adrian and Max received their award. Too sad.”
Nova tried to speak a couple of times, until she finally had found the correct words to said her thoughts out loud.
“Why...why didn’t you go, then?”
“About that.” Simon chuckled. “Tamaya is going to be there too, as a speaker. And she’s also receiving an award. So...somebody had to take care of the Headquarters and Kasumi and I were left with that responsibility. However, it’s been pretty peaceful, as you may have noticed.”
“I have.” Nova nodded. “Not that I...go out very much, but yeah. Things have been calm.”
“People are behaving for once. And it’s awesome.” he sighed.
Then they stayed in silence. For a while.
Nova stared out the window, avoiding eye contact, while Simon whistled as he tapped his fingers on the wheel.
Not a word. No small talk.
Nothing.
“Sooooo…” Said Simon. “Shall we go?”
“Perhaps we should.” Nova said, immediately, as a flash of relief crossed her face.
So Simon smiled at her once again as he turned on the engine, while Nova put on her seatbelt next to him.
-.-
It took her so little time to come back Simon confirmed she was one of those people who would strategically write their shopping list so they wouldn’t be going back and forth through the aisles. It also surprised him that, being a person so young, she was so...focused on everything.
She really had only bought groceries and essential items. No junk food. No silly things she swore she would need and then she didn’t. Not even candy from the checkout area.
Simon hurried himself out of the car to help her put the bags in the trunk, but once she saw him and guessed his intentions, she quickly said:
“It’s okay. I can do it.”
“I know you can.” He clarified. Because, well, she indeed was a strong person. “But maybe you could use some help. That’s...a couple of bags.”
“Yeah. I know.” Nova nodded, already carrying the first two of the bags. “But I can do it. Please. I’m already causing you too much trouble.”
Simon was yet again confused by her reaction, and he tried to talk to her about it. But just like Nova looked like she didn’t want to be hugged right now, she also looked like she didn’t want to talk about it right now.
So he just opened the trunk for her and held it in case it would go down by its own. It had never happened, but just to be sure. Sometimes Simon’s anxiety made him overanalyze some situations.
Less than 10 minutes had passed by the time Nova finished putting all her stuff in the car, Simon figured she was still training, since she was as agile and fast as she was the day she notified them she would be taking some time off from the team and the Renegades in general.
They got in the car again, and before the silence could get as uncomfortable as the previous one, Simon took the initiative to speak.
“I think...you forgot to answer a part of my message.” He said, carefully. “You know...the part where I told you that maybe we could...go to a restaurant or something?”
Nova’s face, ears and neck turned so red she became a human-shaped cherry, and although in other circumstances he would’ve considered it adorable, this time he couldn’t help but feel sympathy for her. He had been there and done that many times; the messages Nova had sent were peak odd. The type of messages one would overthink over and over again because they had to be perfect. And if something, anything sounded off after you sent it, your world would be in shambles.
So he just smiled to assure it was okay. That he didn’t mind. That those messages didn’t have to be so formal in the first place.
And that, obviously, didn’t work.
For his experience, it never did.
“I...I...Yeah.” Nova scratched her brow. “Pretty much I...I...can recall not knowing how to word that so I just left it blank and I...must’ve forgotten to…”
“Nova.” Simon said, softly. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”
“Did I...offend you or something?”
“Absolutely no!” He said. “Why would you think that? It’s just a slip. I know it wasn’t your intention and to be honest I still want to take you to eat something so...yeah, there’s no reason to get weird about this. There’s no need to worry.”
Nova took a deep, hasty breath. She was flustered, son Simon tried to keep her calm; to make her feel like she was in a safe environment.
Why wouldn’t she be, in the first place?
She was his son’s girlfriend.
Why would he want to hurt her or make her feel bad?
“Nova, darling.” He said again. “Do you have something on your mind?”
“I do.” Nova cleared her throat, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t really...can eat out right now. I barely manage to afford my groceries, you know? It’s been…”
“But you’re not gonna pay your own bill. I mean, why would you do that?” Simon raised an eyebrow at her, genuinely confused, but still laughing nervously. Sweet rot, who had hurt this child so much? “ I’m the one who’s taking you to eat. You wouldn’t have to…”
“You don’t have to either!” She snapped. Not mad, but rather distressed, while breathing heavily.
Simon went still, afraid he would make it worse. Still, he couldn’t leave it like that, so he gulped and, once he reunited enough courage, he dared to speak again.
“What’s really on your mind, Nova?” He asked, this time in a more soothing voice. Nova’s whole being went red again, but the shadow of confusion in her expression was noticeable and hard to ignore. For this reason, Simon decided to provide some kind of scaffolding.
“For example: Why would you write a message that is directed to me in such a formal way?” He asked, patiently. “Why would you ask me to pick you up as if you were asking me to help you commit a crime? Why would you act so uncomfortable around me when it’s not the first time that we’ve met? Why would you…?”
“Because it’s you.” Nova answered, avoiding eye contact.
And he expected that answer, yes. But, at the same time, he expected to understand the statement once it slipped out of her mouth.
However, he didn’t.
“Can you elaborate?” He requested.
Nova clicked her tongue as she rubbed her neck, staring at the dash right in front of her.
“...I can disappear if you want me to. Would that make you feel more comfortable?”
“No. No, no.” Nova nodded, waving her hands, finally looking at him. “That won’t be necessary.”
“Then...would you tell me what’s wrong?”
Nova thought about it. She squirmed in her seat. Gulped. Coughed. Squirmed again.
Then, playing with her own hands, she spoke.
“...I’m ashamed.”
“Ashamed of what…?” Simon tilted his head to the side. “Ashamed of who…? What exactly are you ashamed of? ...Dating Adrian?”
Nova flinched.
“I would never.”
A spark of pride illuminated his thoughts and his insides in general, but Simon tried to pay little attention to it.
“I’m just...ashamed. Of everything.” Nova said, sighing. “I…”
And she cut herself in the middle of the phrase, realizing that once again she wouldn’t be able to finish it.
Simon didn’t realize he was frowning until he felt the muscles of his face slowly giving in. He understood.
And he knew that anything that had happened during the Second Battle for Gatlon had been her fault. She might have contributed in some way but, at the end of the day, she was just a child.
A very confused and manipulated child who just needed someone to listen without twisting her words as they pleased.
“...I just think that...if I were you I wouldn’t like me either.” She wasn’t crying, nor did she sound like she was about to any time soon. There was so much resignation in her voice that her words weighted as much as a giant rock. “Hugh gave me his blessing to...you know, date Adrian…”
“I can recall giving you my blessing too.”
Nova tripped on her own words.
“I mean, you did. You both did.” She said. “But still… It’s because… because you want him to be happy. And I get it. I really do. And I understand because, like I said, I wouldn’t like me either...I know I am loved. I know I matter for some people...but I also know I did...bad things, and I carry this sort of cursed last name…”
She stopped and breathed for a second before continuing.
“And I…” She finally looked at him. “I get it. You don’t have to pretend you like me, after all that happened. After I stole stuff from your house; infiltrated into your system; caused a terrorist attack...You really don’t have to pretend.”
Simon blinked, and if it wasn’t for her specific and controlled body language, he would’ve thought she was making excuses or even joking.
But Nova was telling the truth.
And it was heartbreaking.
“Perhaps you should think outside the box and picture a scenario in which you realize we’re not pretending.” That’s the only thing he said.
“Perhaps you should realize that we love you and you matter to us.” He reached for her hand and softly touched her knuckles. Her hands were shaking. “And that, yes, we want Adrian to be happy, but we also want you to be happy.”
Nova’s eyes seemed to be covered in crystals, but she remained in silence.
“You’re part of this family now, Nova.” He smiled. “And I’m sorry, but you’ll have to deal with that.”
Nova sniffed, swallowing, while lacing her hand into Simon’s.
“Artino and everything?” She muttered.
“Artino it’s not what defines you.” Simon chuckled. “You’re Nova. Just Nova... And we’re really proud of you. Not ashamed.”
She smiled back at him, wordless, and Simon gave her a quick handshake before putting his hands around the wheel.
Because even now, that her walls were crumbling right before her eyes, she didn’t look like someone who wanted to be hugged at the moment, and he accepted and respected that.
“I was planning to take you to my favorite restaurant, but maybe we can prepare a homemade meal instead?” He suggested. “You know? In-laws being in-laws? … Not to brag, but I make the best lemon pie in the world.”
Nova chuckled. Relaxed.
Happy.
“Sounds great.” She said, nodding.
“Excellent.” Simon turned on the engine.
“Let’s go home.”
39 notes · View notes
rigelmejo · 3 years
Text
Some September 1st Updates
the READING SPEED difference of a novel at my level! I read the first chapter of 撒野 yesterday and this author is at exactly my reading level right now. I hit 0-2 new words each pleco page, which is usually the sweet spot to either guess the word or if I look it up I can pretty quickly adapt to recognizing it in context. Its also the sweet spot where if I only rely on guessing for new word meanings, on a second pass through I can fairly well guess the meaning quickly. 
It was a 32 page chapter in pleco and I read it in 20 minutes. Compared to the 20 pleco page per chapter pingxie fic i just finished (like 124k characters! WOW I read and FINISHED that much!), which was taking 30-40 minutes per chapter (mainly because of number of new vocabulary per chapter being a bit higher). If I’d wanted to speed read saye I could have, I’d have missed some small details but I could have tried if I wanted.
Then I did a second pass later in the day with the audiobook just following along with the text. Realized 1. I knew most words in the audiobook and did not follow as well as i thought - but those first listen throughs without having seen the chapter I did manage to figure out the main character just broke up, just travelled somewhere, ran into a girl and somehow the girls brother showed and the two guys interacted a little and someone was being somewhat helpful, then the main guy met his father trying to ‘pick him up.’ Which is a true but very rough summary of what happens in the first chapter. By reading I could confirm the words I thought were names AS names, figured out WHY the girl was interacting with the main guy and that there were actually two girls in chapter 1, and figure out who helped who and who was the girl’s brother. Also somehow before I looked at the chapter text I never caught that the audiobook mentions a motorcycle despite me knowing that word and it SOUNDING like mota-che/motorche! it sounds like the word and i knew it and didn’t hear it! Then later following the audiobook with the text I realized another issue I had, is I’m not used to listening to soft voices with such faint pronunciations of the final sounds. I’m much more used to deeper crisper pronunciations and being able to rely clearly on initials and finals AS much as tones to recognize the words, whereas this particular audiobook i needed to mainly rely on tones and initials to figure out what word was what - that probably threw me off a bit. It’s probably good for me to get practice listening to such a different voice to what I’m used to. I have definitely learned the deeper the voice, the more I have a far easier time figuring out what’s being said. Also standard accent more like beijing but without a huge amount of ‘er’s just some, and taiwan accent are the easiest for me to hear when i’m not pa
For anyone curious, here is the audiobook for SaYe I’m listening to: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2w27tfjeeaySbMK272NpXwUtsBc-e3YN
Also here’s a chinese audiobook youtube I found: https://www.youtube.com/c/%E6%9C%89%E5%A3%B0%E5%B0%8F%E8%AF%B4%E5%90%AC%E4%B9%A6%E4%B8%96%E7%95%8Cyoushengxiaoshuo/playlists
Which includes The King’s Avatar: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTJaWZoVPdT1ZhIQIKxVci7fVEHr-oX6k
And ErHa: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsxEOGKlBMaFa6CS6Hf5ndy6qTtUL0Au_
Anyway, its a great book right now for reading practice. It’s very much around my level. I will probably stick with this author for a little while and solidify what I know/my base reading level. 
-
IN OTHER NEWS:
I am apparently living proof listening-reading, heavy emphasis on re-listening a TON in the background as you work or type or walk/drive whatever, works for learning new words. 
I re-listened to guardian chapter 1 audiobook at least 20-30 times by now, just a tremendous amount. Chapters 1-10 I’ve listened to at least 5 times by now random chapters at random days, and some probably also 20 times. 
I have listened to these chapters enough, that I can officially follow so much that I know nearly every freaking word I hear, I know it immediately on hearing in at least 3 different audiobooks, and the few ‘less familiar’ words I recognize a second after hearing (like hearing ‘audacious’ or ‘glum’ in english it just takes me a second to re-remember), and the very few still forgotten words/specific details I learn From those words I can actually pick up from the context of listening.
 I hear ‘powei’ and somehow forgot it AGAIN? Oh it means ‘rather’ in this context. ‘anli’ well i always hear ‘anlishuo’ as in ‘people say/generally speaking’ so ‘anli’ in this context must mean ‘generally/generally speaking.’ chuanghu? can’t remember it because i was just typing this JUST now and only hearing a few words from the audiobook in the background - well in context its obviously window, but out of context my brain said window and i just couldn’t remember if it was window or curtain but felt curtain had something more complex than ‘hu’ as the second half - just looked it up and my guess was right, even with no context which i’d have had if i’d been listening better and it had been clear it’s window, it still made me think ‘window’ immediately just hearing the sound. ‘xiang yi ge ren’ sounds like ‘looks like a person’ which is the next phrase i just randomly heard. ‘hua le yao ming’ shouted for their life/in awful terror? or that would be ‘huo’, so maybe ‘streaking toward him to take his life’? would make sense in context of a horror scene - i just looked it up and 划了要命 would be the second one. even IF i heard the wrong line, both of those are pretty close to a good guess in context and hua is the only unknown because without context i can’t place if it was hua or huo. i still confuse the words wu and wo for hold etc, but in context i can tell which one it is (wo is hold a hand, hold a face, etc). 
I’m genuinely at a point where I can just completely follow the plot through at least the first 20 chapters from listening. And for most scenes, follow every detail too including stuff like guo changcheng spending half a year not working at home after he graduated, being so afraid of the phone, da qing being fawning to shen wei when they meet and rubbing against his leg, the specific conversation details when da qing runs across zhao yunlan’s car in chapter 2, what zhao yunlan’s room exactly looks like, etc. Its super cool to be able to follow the audiobook so well I can follow the story and details even when I don’t have time to read! It’s so fun! And it was not very hard!
It took 40 minutes of upfront study where you set time aside to focus: 20 minutes to have a program read the chapter aloud while you either see unknown word definitions pop up (like in Pleco) or look them up with some click dictionary as you listen. 20 minutes to go through and listen to the audiobook as you follow along with the text. Then after that, just play the audiobook chapters you’ve done this with whenever you want, either paying attention like when going to bed soon or walking, or in the background like when cleaning or doing busy work or driving. Since background listening can be done easily whenever all you have to do is remember to click play when you want something to listen to. 
I’m honestly blown away by how much 3 months of studying mainly like this (which is quite fun and only requires me to carve out a small amount of actual study focused time) has improved my listening skills. I can now also listen to the 2ha audiobook okay and follow along (provided its a chapter I’ve read before so I have at least some prior context to help me out) - at least so far as that’s what I’m listening to right now. Basically, I can tell Guardian has both upped my vocabulary significantly and also improved my automatic recognition of many words I half-knew and learned since. 
I recently found a new Guardian audiobook read by a deep voice and its lovely (and utilizes music and echo for effects, its lovely to listen to) I hope the poster keeps updating: https://fm.qq.com/show/rd002ED4aN0mYz2L__
I’ve been listening to it lately.
---
Also! Directions for using Pleco Android for screen reader:
1. To get any page bookmarked online: 
Open a page in your mobile web browser you want to read. Click the menu, click share, click Pleco Reader (or ‘more’ or ‘...’ then Pleco Reader).
Go to Clipboard Reader. Now when you click text, dictate text megaphone will be an option.
*Since Clipboard Reader is free, you can do this to read in Pleco and have things spoken aloud with no money spent. (Though I find the Reader tool worth the money and add ons).
2. To have any text ‘dictated aloud’:
Go to Pleco’s menu, Settings, Audio, click ‘use TTS if no recording,’ then for Sentence Audio section area System TTS Setting click Speech Services by Google (you can also experiment by clicking other options I am just stating what worked for me, it didn’t work at first I had to make that my default TTS in my Accessibility-Talkback Settings menu on my main phone first and restart my phone before all this). 
Then click the area right below to mess with speed and sound of the TTS voice. 
(Note, to test if TTS is working you can go to any dictionary entry sentence, click the speaker next to the sentence and see if it plays audio. If it does not, you will get an error message and directions on what to change in your phone settings. That is what initially happened to me: I had to go to phone Settings, Accessibility, Talkback, TTS Engine, TTS Engine voice and settings. Pleco recommended I choose Speech Services by Google, and uninstall then reinstall the Chinese voice. Then restart the phone. That worked for me. An additional note: I have Talkback setting on ‘on’ and just have it in my toolbar to use if desired but am not actively using it. If you turn Talkback setting ‘off’ in the actual Settings area of Accessibility, I am not sure if it will affect Pleco’s ability to dictate). 
3. How to put it together: 
Now go to Clipboard Reader and read the page from the internet you wanted or text you pasted, or go to Document Reader and open the document you wish to read. 
Click a word as a place to start. Now you should see both the loudspeaker (for pronouncing the single word) and the Megaphone next to it to start dictating all text. (If your phone is weird like me, you may need to press the megaphone a couple times before the audio works).
If you wish to change dictation reading speed, simply hold down the megaphone and select the speed desired. 
Now that I’ve figured this out I really want to take pictures of my print book, make a pdf, and listen to all the changes.
(Now I just have to fix my weird dictionary in Idiom app and I’m all set on the new phone!)
---
All I’ve been doing the past august study wise is just reading pingxie fic and finishing, and listening to audiobooks. It’s been a busy time for me ToT
I do think it proved you can be lazy and still make some improvements though: 
1. Reading in Pleco (or click-dictionary tool of your choice): pick something and read a chapter a day (that’s what I did, obviously the easier this is the less time you’ll need, but aim for around 30 minutes a day and reading material closer to your level if you don’t want to read too long)
2. Listening-Reading Method something above your reading level that you enjoy. Should take 40 minutes a couple times a week to several times a week to hours a week, depending on how intense you want to get with it and how much you’re going to alternate/include the reading portion. I did like 1-2 chapters a week so I was only spending 40 minutes to 1.5 hours a week doing this, or 3 hours one week no time another week. This is definitely something where you can do 6-12 hours one month then coast on it for another month just repeating older material’s audio/re-reading sections (which is what I did with guardian, doing 22 chapters then switching to just listening to audio a lot). 
Once you’ve done a little L-R steps 2 and 3 (in either order, whatever works for you - and doing step 1 if you want more context prior to steps 2 and 3), then just make time during your days to play the audiobook chapters you’ve studied. You don’t need to be focusing every single time (although focusing on actually trying to follow the audio the first time you listen without text to aid you will probably speed up your comprehension a lot by giving you a lot of basic-context to help you comprehend more later). Aim to listen whenever you’ve got down time! Or time where you’d play music or some background youtube video or podcast - walks, exercise, drives, when cleaning, when browsing the web goofing off, when working if you have times when you’d listen to music with lyrics or a podcast in the background without issues, times when you don’t need to focus 100% on listening just putting it on to hear in the background). 
That’s all I’ve done for study since May. It takes me about 30 minutes 5 days a week, plus 1-2 hours listening-reading actively a week. So 2.5 hours plus 2 = 4 hours of active study a week. Sometimes more like 8-10 if I got really into reading something or Listening-reading to several chapters. Then after that (very easy to fit into my life 4-10 hours per week of study) I just play the audiobook whenever I have downtime at work (that’s usually 0.5-4 hours where I just let it play because I forget its on while working on spreadsheets, updates, emails, etc, or play the audiobook while messing around on the internet in my free time at home, sometimes I put on music instead), while walking so 15-30 minutes maybe 3 days a week, while driving far so maybe 20 minutes - 2 hours per week. maybe lets say 2 hours*4 days a week (I don’t remember to listen every day) so 8 hours random listening+1.5 hours walking+1 hour driving per week. That’s 11.5 hours listening in the background or paying attention plus lets say 4 hours of active study a week. So 15.5 ‘study’ hours for chinese per week - an average overall of ~2.21 hours of chinese ‘study’ per day. This isn’t counting when I get into weibo and goof off, get into some chinese show with no english subs and just start watching it (I watched 16 episodes of Humans cdrama in August which is ~10.66 hours for a total of at least (15.5*4 weeks = 62 hours + 10.66 hours -> ~72.66 hours spent ‘with chinese’ in August at minimum. 4 weeks*7 days = 28, so over around 28 days or most of august I did 72.66 total hours/28 days -> or ~2.595 hours of chinese per day as an average. So... my guess that I spend at least 1-2 hours on chinese per day as the average was a decent guess. Looks like I’m usually 2 hours to 2.5 hours daily as an overall average. It’s not that hard to get in that much without a ton of time in the day once you get some listening skills built up ToT Deciding to build up my listening skills has been one of the funnest goals in chinese so far.
Notes on Listening Reading Actively - it also doubles as increasing your exposure to listening to your target language, and the more hours the better even if its passive in the background, just more hours adding up toward your mind getting a better ability to parse the sounds of the language is going to help your overall listening comprehension in general. So even if you don’t pay attention much and can’t follow the whole plot and only catch certain scenes, you will be improving at least comprehension of: hearing words you know, hearing colocations and common phrases and recognizing more automatically which will help with speaking/writing indirectly and reading recognition of those things, overall ability to hear things correctly in different combinations and getting used to the common combinations. 
You will be surprised how much more you can pick up of plot and details the 3rd listen compared to the first, the 5th listen, the 10th listen. It’s wild. Like... I’m listening to the 2ha audiobook and even having never read it in chinese, just knowing basic context, the 2nd read through I caught so much more of the plot throughout just because I had forewarning of when scenes change a lot, what audio plays during some parts I recognized in previous listens, and so I have more focus for figuring out the new details I missed. Whereas the first listen, I didn’t always know WHAT the scene context was until I heard a familiar line or description I remembered from the english version of the scene, but on a second listen I now have a better guess at the scene the lines are probably taking place in before and after those lines I recognized in the first listen. And this continues etc each time you re-listen to something. (So yes, that initial context of knowing what you’re listening to with a previous read of its translation or target language transcript will definitely speed up comprehension pick up - but if you just wanna test what your basic listening comprehension to new content is then it works fine just going into new audio with no prior context its just more difficult at first lol until you build an idea of the context from listening).
The original Listening-Reading Method person did like 40+ hours a week, 8 hours most days, no wonder they made fast progress! They often included reading in some form (hence the name) and later translation, so they also were constantly working on listening AND some reading skills AND eventually often some speaking/writing skills. Doing it my way results in mostly listening comprehension of stuff you could already read to a degree, more automaticity in recognition, and for picking up new vocabulary both in listening and reading. I do extra reading on the side with other stuff to get more reading practice in an isolated way (since I’m trying to push my reading speed up above speaking speed). I always try to do it the way the creator originally intended, but I am not able to focus on things for more than 20 minutes at a time, 40 to a couple hours if I take a break every 20 minutes. So doing it 8 hours just doesn’t work out. 
---
I’m fairly happy!
I am on plan for my main goals that started this style study plan: 
1. Improving my reading level to get to start being able to extensively read actual danmei novels - we got there! I am at a reading level appropriate for SaYe at 98% comprehension when I checked, and at a bit above 95% comprehension for Guardian! I’m now continuing with that goal while adding on increasing reading Speed in general.
2. Improving listening skills so I have better automatic recognition of partly-known words from reading (working super well so far - I can tell because ability to watch cdramas in only chinese has improved noticeably and gotten much easier), and so I can start following the main plot and key details of audiobooks of things I’ve read before (working great for guardian, starting to work with other audiobooks provided I listen to the chapters a few times or several times if its brand new material I have no context for, however reading level matters and while things I have prior familiarity with are going very well - brand new materials are still quite challenging in that they require multiple listens for the full plot and several listens before I start picking up most non-plot-critical details). 
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